#but i did a re-line recently bc

[macodoesstuff]

nothing else in my mind, just puffy skirts

More of her under the cut for your own pleasure. Mhm I know I know, I'm so nice

[jilyandbambi]

So I don't necessarily think Daniel was malicious towards his daughters, but I do think he has said explicitly on the show that neither of his daughters are speaking to him currently. That suggests total estrangement. Beyond that, Daniel was a junkie. He may have wanted to be a good father, but drugs mess that up pretty hard and pretty fast.

Respectfully, Anon, you're missing my point.

I'm not trying to negate what the show has alluded to re: Daniel's backstory and relationship with his family, what I'm saying is that, with so little to go on wrt Daniel's backstory and given that it is still totally plausible (to the point of being quite common, if you can believe it) for one to have a great deal of love for a parent with a history of substance abuse, neglect, or one you've decided to go no-contact with, the accepted Daniel's Kids Hate Him fanon feels flat and lacks appropriate nuance (and imagination!!! which is more annoying to me, personally) for the fandom of The Complicated Relationships Show.

I know children (even grandchildren) of addicts whose parents still managed to create good memories with them even as they battled addiction. Are these relationships dysfunctional? Yeah. Were these good parents? Jury's out. But imperfect or even bad parenting doesn't mean it was all bad, all the time.

On the subject of Daniel's estrangement from his daughters, the fandom bases this on one throwaway line Daniel says during a highly charged rant at Louis, who has been baiting him off and on for days. What does Daniel say right before "My daughters don't even talk to me?" Some snarky remark about legacies being for execs and assholes in loafers (paraphrasing). I got news for you, peeps, two-time Pulizer winners who teach Masterclass seminars and who go through the trouble of publishing an autobiography/memoir care very much about their legacy, despite what they might say in the heat of the moment.

BUT, even if one wants to interpret this one throwaway line literally and run with the notion that both of Daniel's daughters have gone no-contact with him, the show's canon still leaves the "when's" and "why's" of this estrangement wide open.

Who's to say this has always been the case? What if it's recent?

Terminal illness affects families in different ways; what if one daughter couldn't deal with the news and is coping by ignoring him, and the other cut contact bc she doesn't agree with Daniel's decision to continue living independently instead of moving in with her or into an assisted living facility? What if the news of Daniel's diagnosis caused his kids to start smothering him as though he was already in hospice until one day he snapped, said some messed up things, and demanded they give him space, so they're giving it to him (albeit not the way he wanted it).

What if it has nothing to do with the Parkinson's? What if one kid is a semi-homeless addict globetrotting around the world just like Daniel did back in the day (if we assume DM chase happend) and is just so caught up in doing her own thing she doesn't even think to call anyone in the family, much less Daniel? What if the other kid has a partner who doesn't like Daniel and Alice (if she's real) and since marrying this asshole has distanced herself from her family?

What if--as I said in my original post--they're simply really fucking busy being grown and having their own lives and don't have time to reply to Daniel's 90 million daily texts, and "My daughters won't even talk to me" is just Daniel being a surly, dramatic old man who's had it with the depressed vampire he's ranting at, and also wants his girls to be faster texters?

Or, Daniel was a druggie fuckup who was too strung out to ever meaningfully bond with his daughters who, now grown, actively despise him. <- Sure. The popular theory works, too, obviously but there's no reason this has to be THE go-to fanon explanation since

We!! Don't!!! Know!!!! anything concrete about Daniel's past aside from his Pulitzers and drug use. So why not get creative and have fun with the blank canvas while we can?

[pjharvey]

can you tell me all about this bc i have seen multiple mutuals start seth myers gay posting and idk what is going on

i got into it by sheer coincidence around the same time i think a bunch of other people did so i really don't know why this is a thing now but yeah there are theories. 1) seth meyers is in what appears to be a loveless marriage to a lot of people, i'd argue that considering that he tends to have a pretty civil personality and is a talk show host, stuff like publicly saying she doesn't like your sense of humor when asked about your spouse in interviews and then having to soften whatever you've just said for the audience or press is pretty damning 2) as a serial flirter-with-friends almost every interaction between him and andy samberg reads as that at the very LEAST to me. he's much more effusive about andy and how he's essentially his muse than about his wife. one can read into that if one so chooses. 3) my actual gateway to this was re-watching the infamous stefon clip recently where he kisses seth meyers and afterwards seth just blinks at the camera for an extended period of time before bill starts poking seth's thigh repeatedly to remind him to say his line (and it's really unusual for seth to have more trouble staying in character than bill in weekend update sketches). and an interview with bill hader where he says obvs i know stefon is fictional but i do get jealous when he interacts with other men now that i've left snl. he's pretty handsy with bill out of character too. i genuinely do think seth interacts with both bill and andy like a schoolgirl with a crush as someone who has been a schoolgirl with crushes in my time but i also acknowledge that i sound insane and you can take my word for this as much or as little as you choose

[your-unfriendlyghost]

just bc I’ve never seen u talk abt him but…… darry perhaps ?? (for that character thing you reposted lol) bc me personally I could ramble abt him all day long haha

….with a cherry on top 😁🤲

How I feel about this character

  Well, Darry’s ok. I think he’s incredibly well-written. I like him fine, you just haven’t heard me talk abt him cos I don’t have all that much to say abt him :,) 

  I relate to him in some ways, but every time I think too hard about him I get nervous because his situation is…nightmarish for me and it freaks me out in a way that isn’t entertaining (the way writing other angst I relate to is for me) but just…existential dread. 

All the people I ship romantically with this character

  Darry and Paul probably had something going on- at least from what I’ve heard from the musical side of things it seems not platonic, idk abt the book/movie tho

  And him and Tim Shepard in the 90s show were…something too. I dunno what exactly, but…somrething. I get where the tarry shippers are coming from and yk I like that kinda.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

  Two-Bit! I don't ship them, but I think they were closer growing up and sorta stopped being best friends in high school once Darry joined the football team. But they’ll always care for each other, and Two-Bit can read Darry better than anyone. 

  I do think that they mutually make each other insecure about their older-brothering abilities. Like Darry’s insecure because Two-Bit’s never really fought with his kid sister (at least rn- I hc that they fight more as she gets older) and Two-Bit’s insecure because Darry’s so responsible and Two-Bit isn’t really. They’ve never talked about this and probably never will, at least not until they’re older.

  I think once Pony and Soda are older and Darry’s less stressed, Two-Bit helps him re-learn how to be young and irresponsible. There was a line from a movie I watched recently (Calendar Girl, 1993) (Ridiculous sounding movie but it’s one of my favs now) with a line that went something like 

  “So you don’t like me because I get you drunk, but you do like me because I stick around while you throw up?”

  “Yeah. You’re one of my best friends.” 

And that’s sorta their dynamic to me rn. I think back in elementary school/junior high it was reversed, with Darry pushing Two-Bit to be more confident, but it completely 180s now that they’re grown.

My unpopular opinion about this character

  He acts immature sometimes/often. He’s not the gang’s “dad”, or even considered the “responsible” one generally. Yk, he’s not immune to having teen boy-ish bravado- like how he leaves the door unlocked because he’s convinced he can take anyone who’d break in. (He’s real for that- I too feel like I could easily take on any home intruder :) ‘course Darry’s stronger than me and like 6’2 so he probably could better than I could, but yk the point is that it’s very teen boy/young man of him ig)

  I feel like before his folks died he was a lot less responsible- I’ve written one fic pre-canon where he’s more easy going because he doesn’t have the child service workers breathin down his neck yet lol. But yk, he probably snuck out at night in high school, did dumb things like any other kid. I mean I’m a good kid, but even I’ve been kicked outta stores- I’m sure Darry’s been too. Maybe he didn’t smoke, but he probably drank a bit and got speeding tickets and did other stupid shit to impress his buddies. (C’mon, who hasn’t?) (Actually maybe I’m not as good as I think maybe that’s not normal idk I’m not gonna think abt that rn)

  Other controversial opinion…while I know it’s symbolic, I don’t l o v e how Patrick Swayze was like 10 years older than Darry was supposed to be in the movie- I’m so sorry- he did a GREAT job as the character! But he just doesn’t read as 20 to me no matter how hard I try to suspend my disbelief and it’s bugged me for years- It’s not as bad as Mason’s actor in Tex, but I just. Don’t like it :,) Again I’m so sorry nothing against Swayze! I think he’s great, just…I wish he’d been ten years younger in Outsiders 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

  I dunno lol. Again, I ain’t got that many thoughts about him…I think he fulfilled his role for me and there’s not a lot more I’d wanna see from him. 

  …Well, actually, I’d love to see him hanging with Mason McCormick. but that would never happen in canon so yk

Oh it’d be cool to see him throwing Steve more that’d be funny

[elliereject]

stupid bitch .1

* you and ellie have been friends for years but you only recently discovered that the way you liked her was more than just friendly. unfortunately, she’s already in a relationship with a toxic girl who (surprise!) does not like you. as their relationship starts to sour, you’re the one ellie always goes to for comfort and you oblige until you can no longer take the heartache and pain you’re feeling which causes you to finally confess…blurring the already thin line between yours and ellie’s ‘friendship’.

* infidelity, oblivious!ellie, meanish!ellie, pining, anxious thoughts

* first fic, based on girl in reds Stupid Bitch bc wow does that song make me scream. if this gets any traction at all ill post pt 2 and a couple others I have in the works :) feedback is appreciated, pls enjoy and interact!!

*mdni

*wc - 4k

part .2 here

You had a love hate relationship with Ellie.

Well, it was mostly love…who were you kidding, it was all love.

She’s been your best friend for years and you were so fucking glad she was apart of your life. She’d been there for you during the worst parts like when your parents didn’t speak to you for a month after you came out and the best parts like when you got accepted into your dream school.

Every great memory in your life, Ellie was there. She was someone you could rely on and who you knew would stick by you even when she saw the worst parts of you and you hoped she knew you would do the same for her. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. Of course, it wasn’t until she started dating her that you realized your true feelings.

“I’m telling you! She’s just—she’s perfect!” Ellie gushed, your stuffed animal being squeezed to death between her lean arms.

You forced a smile onto your face, a sour feeling thrashed in your gut. “I’m happy for you, glad you guys are hitting it off.”

“We’re more than hitting it off, we’re like, on the exact same wavelength..did you know she does her own tattoos? How fucking cool is that?”

You turned back around in the chair at your desk, trying to busy yourself with the schoolwork you were supposed to be doing and rolling your eyes at her rambling. The two had been seeing eachother for the last month and she did nothing but talk about her.

“Yeah I did know because you’ve told me a thousand fucking times..” You mumbled.

“Hm?” She asked, “Sorry, Cat just sent me the funniest meme.”

She spun your chair back around to show you the meme on a cracked screen and when you saw it you wanted to take her phone and toss it out the window.

“I sent you that like 4 weeks ago.” You laughed dryly.

“Oh, for real?” She mumbled, already pulling her phone back to continue texting Cat.

You rolled your eyes again, huffing when you picked up your phone to text Jesse. He was the only one who knew about your newly discovered crush on Ellie, other than her, you considered him your closest friend and he had comforted you when you came to his dorm, eyes filled with tears and guilt after you told him that you were in fact in love with your best friend.

im going to go fucking insane.

oh brother, what did she do this time?

she won’t stop fucking talking about her ☹️ she litrly just showed me a meme cat sent her that i SENT HER WEEKS AGO and she didn’t even remember

you know ellie tho she prob just forgor fr

jesse i Litrly cant do this anymore. I’m going to rip out my air and throw my laptop at the wall.

Rip out your air? How would that work, like a breathing machine??

Die

💪💗 sorry y/n im sure it’ll get better

😐 when?

…

Before you could see his response you dropped your phone in your lap when you felt Ellie tap your shoulder, “What?”

“Said I’m gonna go piss.”

“Oh, okay.”

She got up from your bed and when she left, her phone was still there.

You shouldn’t. It’s a complete and utter violation of her privacy. If she caught you, she’d probably never talk to you again…

But you knew her password, and it was right there and you were so damn curious.

Your hands moved before you could rethink and suddenly her phone was in your hand and your eyes were skimming over her messages.

You clicked on the thread with Cat and felt your heart seize when you read what she was saved as: my girl ♥️

Despite the searing pain you felt pang through you like a hot knife, you read on.

i can’t wait to cu tonight ;))

same, u can finally get started on my tattoo!

mhm 😇 can’t you come over a little esrlier? im so bored T_T

cant :( yk im hanging out with ★ rn

yeahhhh but she’d understand you’d wanna hangout w ur gf right?? she said she was happy we started dating so she can’t get upset

what the fuck?

yeah ig but irs been a while since I last saw her

plssss els :(( just wanna hold u rn

There was a little space between this message and the next, you figured it been when you and Ellie got caught up in a conversation about your mutual hate for one of your profs.

if u rlly don’t wanna see me jus say that.

yk that’s not true id love to see u rn

then COME, if she gets upset that’s not ur problem..she has to understand you can’t spend all your time with her

What the fuck was this bitch even talking about? She was the one trying to lock Ellie up. You were about to scroll down to see what Ellie had said but you heard footsteps and threw her phone back on your bed before pretending to be stuck on a practice question.

Ellie picked up her phone and you were so scared she’d notice you were on it you thought your heart was going to pop out of your chest and fall onto your desk.

“Hey..”

Dread filtered through your body. She knows, she knows and she’s going to confront you and she’s going to storm out and you’re going to lose your best friend and—

“I think I’m gonna head out, seems like you got a lot of work to do.”

You dropped your pencil and turned to look up at her, “Are you sure? I mean we could go somewhere if you want.” You didn’t want her to leave, you wanted her to stay in your dorm with you forever.

“No.” She said quickly, backing up “It’s fine, I’ll see you later.”

“Okay I’ll see you—“

She walked out your door, letting it close.

“Later.”

—★

It was a freezing December night the first time Ellie came to you, eyes ridden with tears over a fight with Cat.

Usually, it was her calling you up to have you come over and comfort her because Cat was ‘acting weird’ and ‘being mean’. But something serious must have happened for her to be here.

A few weeks had passed since that enlightening time at your dorm where she had practically flown out of your room to go see Cat. During the following weeks, the two of you had barely talked let alone seen eachother and when you did it was almost always about Cat. You understood that you were both busy with school and she was busy with her girlfriend and you didn’t know whether it was Cat or Ellie that had forced the two of you’s separation or if it was your own subconscious mind trying to protect you from getting hurt. Either way, you missed her dearly.

She was pounding hard on your door, and when you opened it she immediately rubbed her red rimmed eyes. She lived in the other dorm building and judging from her appearance you imagined she ran here as quick as she could; Snowflakes adorned her hair and eyelashes and her nose was red from the cold, she had an old green hoodie on and plaid pyjama pants. Even on the verge of tears she was still so unbelievably gorgeous.

“Ellie, it’s like 3AM..” You said groggily, you knew she had trouble sleeping but she usually texted you if she needed a distraction.

“I know just, please I need to talk to someone. And Dina’s with Jesse and Cat fucking—” She paused, sniffling.

You sighed, stepping to the side so she could come in and you could close the door that was currently blowing in cold air from the freezing hallway.

“What happened?”

“It’s Cat.”

Of fucking course. Fury engulfed you, Ellie wasn’t one to cry often or even come close to it so Cat must’ve done something pretty fucked up.

“She was being so distant and I don’t even fucking know what I did and then some fucker I don’t even know just sent me this,”

She shoved her phone in your face and the image made even more anger surge throughout you. It was blurry but you could still make out two figures, one with short black hair—Cat, and another unrecognizable. Cat had her arms locked around the mysterious girls neck and the two were not just kissing but full on frenching. You wanted to throw insults so bad but Ellie was upset and that was more important than dissing her girlfriend.

“Oh Ellie, I’m so sorry.” you said softly, pulling her in for a hug.

She sniffled and wiped her nose, “Yeah, thanks.”

“So, are you two..” you trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence.

“I don’t know, maybe. I sent her a text about the picture and told her to call me but she hasn’t answered.” Ellie said, pulling away.

“Ellie are you serious?” You questioned, looking into her green eyes. “She fucking cheated.”

Ellie looked to the side, avoiding your scrutinizing gaze.

“There could be more to the story.”

You scoffed, “Looks pretty straightforward to me, she went to party, made out with another girl and is completely ignoring you.”

Her jade eyes scanned your face before she shook her head, “You don’t like her.”

No shit you don’t like her.

“That’s not true.” You lied.

“Yes it fucking is! at first I thought I was overthinking it but whenever I bring her up you get this…this look on your face.” She accused.

“What look? This i—“

“That look!” She cut you off, pointing a long finger in your face. “Like..like you’re about cry or blow up or something.”

“I—“ Before you could defend yourself Ellie’s phone rang, the two of immediately knowing who it was. Ellie cleared her throat and answered before the second ring even started.

“Babe?” She croaked out and you winced, both at the nickname and the pain in her voice. You couldn’t listen to this.

“I think..you should go.” You said quietly, walking toward your door to open it for her.

Her eyes flashed to your face before she nodded and walked out, phone still close to her ear.

That night as you crawled back into your bed and warm tears hit your pillow you never wanted to rip out your heart more because the love you had for her was still there, never wavering and consuming you entirely even though you knew it would never be requited.

— ★

It’d been weeks since that night and since you’d talked to Ellie. You didn’t mean for the gap to stretch this long, you decided to give her some space after your…argument? And then you had finals, and then winter break where you went back home to visit old friends and reluctantly, your parents.

You came back two days before classes started up again so you could ease back into your routine. In the last few weeks you tried your hardest to push thoughts of Ellie out of your mind but you cared for her too much to completely disregard her and bits and pieces slipped through the guards you had put up.

You layed on your dorm bed, sighing as you stared at Ellie’s Instagram.

Back together, you thought.

Over the course of Cat and Ellie’s relationship, you’d learned how to tell when they were ‘on a break’ and when they were together just from her Instagram.

When they were together, her profile picture was the two of them, Cat pressing her lips against Ellie’s cheek and Ellie with her eyes scrunched closed, a joyful look on her face. Ellie also had a highlight labled with nothing but a cat emoji as well as a few random posts of them doing more random shit.

When they were ‘on a break’; Ellie’s profile picture was the default one and she had no highlights, and a singular picture posted; her and Joel after her highschool graduation. After Ellie saw the picture of Cat at that party it’d been like that for two and a half weeks and you silently hoped it’d stay that way forever.

Now, her profile picture was the two of them looking happier than ever and you couldn’t help but feel mocked while you moped miserably in your cold dorm alone, your only comfort being the stuffed animal that you held close to your chest.

You missed her, desperately.

You couldn’t do this anymore, you had to have her in your life even if it wasn’t the way you wanted. You sat up, brushing the stray tears from your face you didn’t know had fallen. Determination coursed through you, you were going to break the silence first.

Ellie was getting back tomorrow so you arranged a plan, you’d pick up a pepperoni pizza from her favourite diner—pizza was her favourite food and you’d called her basic when she first told you, which she replied “Anybody who says they don’t like pizza or pizza is basic are trying too hard to be different, pizza is the only perfect thing in the world.” and you shoved her arm playfully telling her to just eat the freaking pizza— the memory made your heart hurt but you swallowed the feeling.

Then, you’d pick up both yours and her favourite snacks from the 7/11 near your campus along with a few sodas.

And finally, the main item of your grand scheme, stopping by the blu-ray store to pick up the first Jurassic Park, the two of you could always watch it on Netflix but she preferred having the physical thing, stating it felt more ‘authentic.’

It was going to be the perfect night, and by the end of it, it would be like the entire last month and couple weeks never happened. The two of you would be back to normal.

— ★

You’d spent the entire next day anxious about seeing Ellie again. You’d woken up early on accident and had to find things around your dorm and campus to busy yourself until it was time to get ready and grab all the items on your list.

And now here you were at— you checked your phone, 6:43 PM— pyjama clad and balancing a pizza box and your phone in one hand and two bag fulls of snacks and Jurassic Park in the other.

You placed one bag down to knock on the door and you heard shuffling before it swung open. To your distaste, the person who opened the door was not your best friend/crush/reason for breathing, but instead her girlfriend who you knew didn’t like you. Could you blame her though? You were in love with her girlfriend. Although she didn’t know that, at least…you don’t think she did.

You can’t believe you hadn’t thought about what you’d do if she was here, the pair seemed to always always always be together when they weren’t ‘on a break.’ Your eyes trailed down her form, she had on tiny plaid pyjama shorts and a thick green hood on that you recognized as Ellie’s. Jealousy plunged through you like boiling, corroding acid.

“Babe, who is it?” You heard Ellie call down from somewhere in the dorm and your stomach flipped, it’d been so long since you’ve heard her voice.

“Your friend.” She deadpanned.

“Who?” Ellie questioned, walking into view of the door frame. Her short auburn hair was out of it’s usual style and laid damp against her neck along with a towel, she was wearing thick navy sweatpants and a thin white tank top. Your eyes immediately landed on the black ink that trailed across her right forearm. She looked fucking amazing.

“★?” Her jade eyes widened, “What are you doing here?”

You held up the pizza box and movie half heartedly, “Surprise?”

She smiled and you swear to fucking god you almost dropped everything you were holding to whip out your phone and snap a picture. You’d missed her smile so much and seeing it online just wasn’t enough.

“Come in, you and Cat can catch up while I finish drying off.”

You looked at Cat, honestly forgetting she was there. Her dark eyes bored into you and you couldn’t help but notice how pretty she was with her short black hair and milky skin. Why were the pretty ones always fucking crazy?

She stepped to the side so you could walk in and put everything down on the old coffee table.

Awkward silence enveloped the space between you two before you cleared your throat, she was Ellie’s girlfriend whether you liked it or not which meant you’d being seeing a lot more of her so you had to atleast be civil.

“I like your hoodie.” You tried, giving her a weak smile.

“Thanks. It’s Ellie’s.” Maybe you imagined it, but you swore you heard a bit of a mocking emphasis on Ellie.

You sighed, taking a seat on the worn green sofa Ellie had found on Facebook market place for what she thought was ‘the deal of the century.’

“Hope you like pepperoni pizza.” You tried again.

“I’m vegetarian.”

Of course she was.

“Oh..you could pick them off?”

She scoffed, trudging off in the direction of Ellie, leaving you to sit alone. This was not going as planned, you’d wanted to spend one on one time with Ellie and discuss what the fuck had happened in the last month but it’d just be awkward when the elephant was literally in the room.

The two returned, Ellie’s hair dryer now and towel discarded. Ellie plopped down beside you and you didn’t miss the way Cat’s eye twitched.

Ellie’s eyes landed on the box of pizza, her face lighting up. “No way, I thought they were closed during the holiday’s.”

You smiled, “Guess I was lucky.”

She smiled back and your gaze met hers, your heart picked up in speed when you saw something in her warm jade eyes…something soft and—

Before you could inspect it further Cat slid past your legs to sit on the left of Ellie, separating the two of you again and almost pushing you off the couch.

Cat leaned into Ellie and you thought you saw her stiffen in the corner of your eye but when you turned to look at her she was back to normal, maybe you imagined it.

“You brought a movie?” Ellie asked, eyeing the small black rectangle on the table.

“Oh, yeah! Jurassic Park.” You leaned forward, picking it up.

“On blu-ray?” Cat snarked, “Isn’t that a little outdated.”

You looked at Ellie but she was focused on the the pizza, already downing a slice and a half.

“I think it’s fun, feels more..authentic.” You replied, noticing the small smirk that crept on to Ellie’s face.

You got up, fiddling with the small TV and DVD player like you did many times before when you and Ellie had a movie night. Finally, the movie started playing and you grabbed a bag of snacks as you eased into the beanbag instead of sitting back down on the couch.

Guess yours and Ellie’s talk could wait.

The movie droned on and Cat inevitability fell asleep on Ellie, you pulled out your phone as the scene where Donald Genarro gets eaten by a T-Rex while on the toilet started up.

You were answering snaps, liquorice hanging from your mouth when you got a text from Ellie, you looked up and saw her staring at you.

Bored?

You smiled,

We’ve seen this movie like a million times. I’m tired of watching an attorney get chomped up on the toilet. 😔

she stifled a laugh,

are u serious? 😫 that’s like the best scene.

personally, I like the end where they make it off the island.

Ofc u do 😒 always a sucker for happy endings.

You sighed, rolling your eyes playfully.

Hey can I ask u smth

ofc what’s up?

whyd you come here tonight? don’t get me wrong I’m glad u did its just. It’s been a while since I’ve heard from u and then u just like shoe up lol

shoe up? 🤨🤨

She frowned jokingly.

I’m srs.

Your fingers hovered over the letters as you thought of how to answer, you couldn’t just tell her that you’d been thinking of her aimlessly in the last month and you’d decided to push away the immense romantic feelings you had in order to at least stay friends with her now could you?

i just missed you and I thought like, why did we even stop talking in the first place, yk?

As you typed the next message you felt heat creep up your neck and your heart pick up just a tad. It wasn’t risky per say..just a little intimate.

tbh, ive been missing you the entire past couple weeks. like so fucking much 🫥

You added the emoji to soften the blow, make it seem less like you were in love with her and her absence caused a gaping hole in your life.

tbh, me too. im sorry abt that night btw. i was angry and felt betrayed and I lashed out on u even tho u were just looking out for me, and im sorry for not reaching out.

I understand and I’m sorry too. for yelling and not reaching out sooner 💗😞

I don’t forgive you.

Panic flooded your brain, was she still upset? Did she not want to be friends with you anymore? Did you wait too long to reach out? Ellie looked at your frightened face and tapped quickly, reassuring you.

Joking joking! I was gonna say i might if u come over like this more often but.. yeah 🥸

You sighed, relief washed over your body and you giggled.

u always have the worst timing.

You glanced up at her expecting to see a smile but your heart tugged at her expression, she looked..sad. The usual gleam in her jade eyes was gone and her soft lips were pulled into a solemn frown.

i know

Before you could pick apart the message a shiver jolted through your spine and goosebumps covered your neck and arms. When did it get so cold?

hey is ir kind of cold in here?

yeah the heaters busted. turns on and off 😒 i asked matinance to come take a look but yk how those mfs are.

damn..r ur blankets still in the same place?

nah i moved them a while ago they’re by the actually lemme just show u

Ellie peeled Cat off her shoulder carefully as to not wake her up and motioned for you to follow her. You got up from your seat on the beanbag and treaded quietly behind her.

She led you into her room and as she dug in the back of her closet you took in the space. It’d been too long since you’ve last been in there, you breathed in the familiar earthy-pine scent that was so inadvertently Ellie and eyed the bed you and her have had countless conversations on. Your eyes travelled to the guitar that stood against her bed frame, the wood worn from years of both her and Joel playing, she’d only played for you a couple of times and even then it was little snippets as she felt too embarrassed to play you a full song.

“Here.” Your eyes snapped back to her and the plush green blanket she held out. You were confused for a second but then you’d remembered why you came in here in the first place.

“Oh right, thanks.” You reached for the blanket but you must’ve anticipated for it to be lighter because it fell from your hand and landed with a soft thump on the floor.

She sighed playfully, reaching down to grab it, “Always a klutz, huh, bug?”

Your breath hitched at the nickname. She’d started calling you her lovebug back in elementary school to tease you since you always demanded she leave bugs and other insects alone and always opted for the piece of paper and cup method to set them free instead of her brutal method of stomp until they’re dead. The only insects she really liked were fireflies, she didn’t really have a reason..she just did.

However, she stopped calling you it when she had started dating Cat and resorted back to her regular “dude” “bro” and “man”. You forced your heart not to read too much in to her use of it, it probably just slipped out, nothing more nothing less.

She picked up the blanket and put it in your hands, placing one on top of yours to make sure you were holding it properly. And that would’ve been fine and dandy if she let go and you would’ve shuffled back to your seat on the beanbag and it would’ve been normal, and it would’ve been okay.

Only, she didn’t move her hand. She let it rest in top of yours, the heat from her body travelling to yours, igniting you in a way you don’t think was possible. You looked up to meet those familiar pools of jade, finding the same look you had seen when the two of you were on the couch; soft and wanting.

It’s funny really, you had shown up here with so much ready to say and now look at you. Completely silent, terrified that if you even breathed too loud it would shatter whatever blissful moment was going on.

But your heart battered against your chest, screaming and thrashing at you.

it’s NOW or NEVER. SAY IT, SAY IT, SAY IT!

“I like you.”

Silence. There was no echo in the room but you swore your words bounced around the walls and hung in the air.

“What?” She breathed, taking a step back.

This was wrong, you knew it was. Her girlfriend was literally less than 10 feet away and the two of you had just started talking again, but you couldn’t do it anymore. You needed to tell her, if there was even a sliver of a chance she felt the same way you were going to take it.

“I like you— more than a best friend like, and I have for a while. And I know you’re dating Cat and I get that you like her, I really do. But I can’t do this anymore, Ellie. I can’t sit and pretend I’m happy for you because I’m fucking not. Whenever I see you two together, kissing and hugging I wish it was me—fuck I wish it was me.”

“Bug,” She paused, closing her eyes briefly, “ ★..I’m dating Cat.”

“You think I don’t!—“ You paused, urging yourself to breathe and counting to ten slowly.

nine..ten.

“You think I don’t know that?” You repeated, calmer.

“★..” Ellie began but you pushed on.

“Ellie can’t you see how..how bad she is for you?”

“What?” She asked, anger lacing her voice.

“She’s hurt you time and time again, and I’m always the one who has to comfort you just for you to go back to her after a few sweet words…she doesn’t deserve you.”

“You’re not apart of my relationship you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” She spat.

You huffed, blowing out air as you tried to breathe again.

eight..nine..

“Just because you’re fucking in love with me doesn’t mean you get to come in here and act like you know a single fucking thing because you don’t.”

Fuck breathing, fuck ten.

“You stupid bitch! She doesn’t fucking care about you. Why can’t you see the one for you is me.” You yelled, then gasped at your outburst. It had taken both of you by surprise, even when you and Ellie got into the nastiest of arguments you never yelled at eachother—minus that one night a month ago. It felt good, letting out all the emotion you had harboured for so, so long.

The two of you were centimetres away, having inched closer to yell in eachothers faces but now it was quiet, except for the laboured breathing that expelled from both of you, fanning over eachothers lips.

Icy jade met the fire burning behind your eyes, the juxtaposition was so intense you thought if your heart beat any faster you’d go into cardiac arrest.

“..You’re the one for me..?” She said, a ghost of a whisper.

And It was quick, so quick you almost didn’t catch it but you did. Her eyes flitted a fraction of an inch down to your lips and fuck, it was over for both of you.

Your lips crashed into hers, her large hands found promise at the nape of your neck, pushing you closer as she slotted her mouth against yours. The blanket in your hands long forgotten as it fell back to the floor. It was heated, hungry, passionate, and desperate. Months of hate, love, frustration, and separation rolled into one long awaited meaningful kiss.

It was when her hand trailed down to your hip, pulling you flush against her body and snaking under your top to brush over your skin that ellicited a sweet noise from you and her tongue sliding across yours, that she finally pulled away, a string of saliva connecting the two of you.

“Fuck.” She breathed, her voice raspy and you bit your lip when you felt your clit pulse.

“I need to—“

“I think you—“ the two of you spoke at the same time making both of you pause.

“I need to go.” You whispered, so quiet she almost didn’t hear you.

She nodded and watched as you turned around and walked out of her room, she stayed like that, standing and barely breathing until she heard the familiar noise of her dorm door closing before she allowed herself to crumble to the floor and hang her head in her hands.

“Els?” Her head shot up, thinking you had returned but she felt guilt flood her body when her face fell in disspointment at the sight of her groggy girlfriend.

“Hey..we need to talk.” She sighed.

She really did have the worst timing.

[chaifootsteps]

re: convos about hazbin hotel's rating and kids being in the fandom.

i looked into what Amazon's Hazbin Hotel is rated and the confusing matter of the 16+ to 18+ rating. basically it's not uncommon for the (imo, broken) rating system to tag darker episodes with a higher rating than others, the intent is to let you know what the current episode will get into, but the fault is that it risks initially giving the impression the series is for a younger audience than it is.

& it *seems* the UI for the series page on Amazon defaults to the highest rated episode--bc it *was* 16+ before all episodes released, then bumped up to 18+ once episode 4 was there.

here's the rating on episode 4, which if it's the same as every other Prime episode i've watched, would've been briefly in the upper left corner in small text before fading away, easy to miss and lacks what would be more fitting verbage (i.e. sexual violence.)

and, here is what Hazbin Hotel's *official* certified ratings are, according to IMDb:

in relation to a shocking amount of kids being in the fandom, i tried to look into whether or not the Hazbin Hotel Pilot episode and/or Addict were age-restricted. y'know, bc everyone keeps saying it's an "adult show for adults." (which it is but ykwim.)

and it seems like there weren't/aren't. i checked in a logged-out browser if i'd get any sort of "this video is age restricted" or "sign-in to confirm age" YouTube filters. i didn't. i also tried playing them in Discord (bc usually if a YouTube video is age-restricted it'll stop you and make you view it on YouTube where it can confirm your age) both the pilot and Addict played without a problem.

(if someone else tries and finds they *did* hit an age-restriction block feel free to let us know.)

in addition, it seems a few redditors were discussing this very thing back when it came out, so they were either mistaken or it never had an actual age-restriction on it.

and the pilot's warning isn't even at the top or in caps or anything, it's a very casual "be warned this is aimed at older audiences hehe there are bad words and innuendos" line in the middle. not even "for" older audiences. "aimed" at them.

and as we know Addict has a proper warning at the start of the video that is as follows:

but, again, i was able to access Addict easily in a logged-out YouTube window which seems to indicate it had no age-restrictions on it.

i checked YouTube Kids itself and the good news is neither the pilot nor Addict show up in the search. the bad news is YouTube's content moderating is still lax enough that any dumbass can try and content-farm kids with whatever is recently popular, so a small handful of Hazbin-related videos like piano tutorials and silly crafts of the characters can be uploaded and labeled as "for kids" by those people. bc it's "just an innocent piano tutorial!" "just an innocent craft!"

but of course most of the "kids" we see in the fandom getting yelled at are generally 13-16 and up, just including the above for full context.

all-in-all i'm not trying to say that not age-restricting the pilot or Addict is some predatory action taken by viv, but to me it was/is a very poor ignorant or oblivious decision.

yes kids will always seek out content that isn't for them, but imo that's *why* the bear minimum is age-restricting and making it *clear* it's not for kids. it's for your own protection too.

if you put all the barriers up and kids still jump over them people can easily see it wasn't your fault. same goes for when construction sites or dangerous hills have warnings so they're not at fault if someone ignores the warnings and gets hurt.

but if those construction sites, hills, or videos made "for adults" don't have those warnings loud and clear, you're gonna get faulted, and you're gonna get kids running around even *more* confident that they belong there bc they were barely warned that they don't.

Thank you for laying it all out like this. This illustrates exactly what the problem is.

[needlesandnilbogs]

writer asks! 13, 36, 81

ask game in question

13. talk about a writing experience that has pleasantly surprised you.

uhh... I have too much of a Complicated relationship with mirrorverse to totally call it pleasant, but it's nice that I've managed to stick with it and I'm still happy to write it most of the time, that should count?

really, a better answer might be the recent fic I published about mb going to the equivalent of the state fair, which popped mostly formed into my head, complete with both format and several lines already written, so it didn't feel like I was ever stuck on it! I liked that a lot lol

36. do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.

Sort of. I steal bits of outfits and personality from people I know for canon characters, but really the one-off OCs are more of real people. Two examples come to mind obviously: high school au mensah, who is very much my school's stage manager during my jr year, a senior who was like the epitome of coolness to me that year and remained enough of an inspiration to be a big part of HSAU Mensah, and Arden fairoak, a character I made up for a one-off mirrorverse thing who is now. not a one-off character. and also is very much based off my high school best friend.

the rest of the mirrorverse one-off OCs, excluding Arden's family who are all except for Bharadwaj named for local libraries, are named and loosely personality based off of historical figures or fictional characters, including: Caroline Bingley and Emma Woodhouse from Jane Austen books, Nikita Gill, Vikram Seth, Fabiola Cabeza de Baca Gilbert...

81. if you could go back in time and give your younger self a piece of writing advice specific to you, what would it be?

Okay, there's two answers to this. both apply to my past self in 7th-9th grade

Generically: Stop being embarrassed of your stuff, idiot. (Expanding slightly more on that, you're not going to be seen as stupid for writing fanfic and (tagging @kellumnights and @clustxr because they'll know who and what I mean and laugh) if kellum could literally do That Story and JdS could do Hot Day in Hotwrong about it, you could totally put your stuff in the writers guild magazine and not just rolls and role-players original flavor.)

extremely specifically, re a thing I started then which became my favorite original universe:

Dear Past!Prime!Bardic,

actually write down exploring frontiers, please. I want that stuff now and I want more than I put on paper.

relatedly, you did not need to write the whole boring story to introduce everyone before you wrote the fun chapter. but thank you (genuinely) for the seven paragraphs of auri lore that I needed in eleventh grade when I restarted it

you did not need to feel so embarrassed about Plory and Ara having A Thing. it was what you needed to write at the time.

stop naming characters after your irl cousins bc eventually they find it and mock you

don't name the main character after yourself. they might be a self insert but you'll make it ten times harder to share it when you're my age because then you have to check every snip and make sure you renamed [name] to Ampara every freaking place.

seriously. names. Ampara, not [name]. Danessa is good, keep that. Savfira is gonna become stupidly hard to get spellcheck to understand but it's fine. Zynnia's great. dump Ariya and find a better R name that still lets you use Rya as a nickname. Ladira, not Lady. also by the way you add a seventh house later.

love,

present!prime!Bardic (PS we change our name.)

[mr-nauseam]

Hii! I've never sent an ask here, but since you're participating in the ask game thing i thought i'd send one! For the sleepover saturday thing, what was the most impactful moment of the book for you? What's a headcanon you haven't talked about here before, or did and would like to share more on?

Have a nice day!! ^^

OMG IM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOOU!!! I LOVE YOUR BLOG TRULY, UR ART ITS AMAAAZING, AND THE POSTS U SHARE ARE TOP TIER <3 also you have clearly a wonderful taste bc Gaul,,, the mad scientific yoo are

Ty for the ask! I think this question I can classificate in two: 1. Things that impact me on my first reading 2. Things that impact me on my thousand of rereadings

1. When I first read the book! I was impacted by Clemensia incident a lot, like I have always loved the scientific fucked side of Capitol, in THG we see many mutts, but we never see before anything like the case of Clemensia, so I WAS SCREAMING AND GASPING WITH IT.

I mean Clemensia showing her scales and screaming and then being taken away by force? IT WAS BRUTAAAl.

On a similar note, I would not say Sejanus death, like he's my favorite character from all the saga? Yes. It impact me his death? Not really, I was sad clearly, but was very una muerta anunciada from the moment Snow send that record, however, NOTHING PREPARE ME FOR THE AFTER IT.

Thats a scene I think we dont talk enough about in the fandom BUT THE MOMENT WHEN THE OFFICER - GUY WHO WAS IN CHARGE CALLING CORIOLANUS TO HIS OFFICE AND THE FUCKING ATTITUDE THAT MISERABLE WORM SHOW OFF?? I knew he fucking sucks, I read many of this anti district shit comments and cursed him, yet... I wasnt expecting HIM TO DO THAT! TO GO THAT BAD!

HIM SAYING HE WAS ENJOYING HIMELF BY PRETEND BE SEJANUS FRIEND? THAT HIJO DE LA VER** CHIN** TU REPU******** MADRE. MISERABLE GUSANO!

Another scene and that Im so so sad the movie take away was MA PLINTH POINTING TO THE TELEVISION SAYING SHE KNEW WHERE HER SON WAS, and talking of Ma Plinth, the why I would personally PUSH OFF GRANDMA SNOW FROM A BALCONY IN A 10 FLOOR, its bc AT THE END OF TBOSAS SHE SAW MA PLINTH AND THOUGHT WAS A SERVANT. My jaw drop to the floor when I read that the first time.

In my rereadings... I could never sympathy with Snow, yet I swear IN EVERY REREADING I DO HE GET WORST SOMEHOW. You must understand that I read fragments of TBOSAS an insane amount, daily Im re reading scenes, when I think of lore for certain families or characters, I go back to my pdf and I reread every thing that was said of them, I re read A LOT, so MIND YOU, WHY EVERY TIME, CORIOLANUS GET WORST AND WORST???

Two moments that got with my mouth open and paralyzed was that, english is not my first language and took me a time read tbosas in english, ok but once I got that pdf, I was rereading one day some stuff of the 10th games, and Coriolanus used a verb for Jessup that I dont understood, like I get in a way what he was saying bc of context but the exact meaning escape to me, so I research it.

DUDE. HE USE A VERB USED TO TALK ABOUT ANIMALS. FUCKING ANIMALS. Ohh and probably one recent its that theres one part WERE CORIOLANUS FUCKING TALK OF PEOPLE IN CAVES REGARDING DISTRICT PEOPLE. WHATS WRONG WITH HIM, SERIOUSLY.

Other moment that got me its all what Casca say of Mrs. Snow in canon, that exact quote Im obssesed with of "your pretty vapid mother that convince herself you father would give her love and freedom." IT IMPACT ME A LOT, enough to me do an ocs (thats how Julia Snow born).

Abt the headcanons I have many many but one that I believe I mention once but I have never go futher in it, is that I BELIEVE LIVIA CARDEW HAVE MOMMY ISSUES. I got ONE line of her and her mom to be changed forever, this my truth, Im speaking it. I can argue it, I can go to the crusades for it, joking but I do can explain it.

OTHER HC I HAVE AND I THINK I NEVER MENTION OUTSIDE SOME MUTUALS AND THAT I BRING ITS BC I WANT ASK YOU SOMETHING. In my head (I read book before the movie!) Gaul's laboratory look exactly like what the hell was doing Arca in the concept art of her album: Kick II. You can look like it in google imagenes: Arca kick ii and the vision should appear to you.

SOOOO I WAS CURIOUS. YOU HAVE VISUALIZATION OVER GAUL'S LABORATORY? The movie despiction fit to you? (I think the lab in movie was a slay, one of my few fav parts of it), when you read the book you keep it in mind or a new imagen pop up in your head?

Anyway, its all, sorry the long rant, I cant shut up and ofc u are free of do the question, if you dont, you are free of dont.

[stylinsoncity]

Previous anon again! Something else I think about when it comes to SEL is… Why is Louis so jealous of Jude (besides the obvious)? Even when they were young, he always knew that Harry’s heart stuttered for him. I just reread the draft you recently shared and that’s what triggered this question (although like I said, I think about it sometimes). In class, when Louis would watch Harry watch Jude, did he ever hear Harry’s heart stutter for Jude or was it that it was actually stuttering for Louis just being in his presence or feeling Louis’ eyes on him and Louis just assumed it was behaving like that for Jude? I know when they go on their trip to Rio, Louis tells Harry he had heart eyes for Jude but how did he think it could be more than a silly crush? This all leads me to the hot tub scene when he picks up on Harry’s heart stutter and just knows something happened with Jude… is it because it reminds him of what he’d hear in class? Did he ever hear the same on Jude’s end? I also love the future scene when he’s jealous of their interaction and overhears their conversation about happiness.but yeah, did Louis think Harry would actually fuck Jude if given the chance?

lol round two! unfortunately, harry did have a real crush on jude rip.. so i do think there would've been an instance where his heart stuttered if jude like paid him a compliment in class or something. and i think louis' jealousy was exacerbated by that along with the 'heart eyes'.

there's no denying that harry's infatuation with jude is superficial. at the start of the story, he doesn't actually know concrete things about jude. he hasn't spent significant time with him. he only has an idealized version of him to admire and fixate on. (the more harry gets to know jude, the less interested he becomes in him lol... )

but as silly as all of that is, it's still a crush and at least for me, even with my most meaningless crushes, i still got butterflies or felt my heart stutter a little bc in the moment, it felt like it could be meaningful.

the logic behind the heart stuttering is that it happens for various emotional reasons (i.e. arousal, deceit, anxiety etc), which louis is aware of. in the hot tub, harry's heart 'does a thing' bc he gets a jolt of anxiety thinking about his conversation with jude. louis' mind doesn't go to the classroom bc the context is different and bc he and harry have spoken about jude in moments prior without harry's heart jolting. so when it happens in the hot tub, it's very distinct and out of the ordinary and louis correctly deduces that something must've happened recently.

in later parts of the story, a lot of louis' jealousy re: jude is obviously irrational bc harry isn't interested in that man anymore and louis has his vampire bond warping his brain. but in earlier parts, when louis returns to ravenoir and doesn't know harry as well as he used to and doesn't know what to expect of him, he could very well conclude that harry might fuck jude if given the chance. he's going to assume the worst case scenario is possible. he doesn't know what will come of harry's crush. he just doesn't like it!

also! in 'always yours, louis', louis does actually tell jude that he heard his heart miss a beat when he looked at harry.

the bottom line is any heart stuttering that happened with regards to jude is purely biological, inconsequential and short-lived!!

[nellygwyn]

girl ignore this ask if it's invasive or anything but i was enjoying gleaning details about your reconnection with The Boy and would love more tidbits if you care to share. it's very nice thing to be romancing and romanced and i do love to hear of it.

It's not invasive!

There's a line from Sally Rooney's 'Normal People' that I keep turning over and over in my head with regards to George (for that is his name! As many know!): 'I'm not a religious person, Marianne, but I do sometimes think God made you for me.' Insert Jane Eyre quote about invisible strings here too, with a tiny dash of Persuasion by Austen. I have known this boy for 11 years. I feel it isn't silly to say I have had a connection, in varying degrees, with this boy for the same amount of time. To be given a second chance at a relationship feels like, genuinely, a miracle. What's even crazier is that, even though we were together the first time around 7 years ago, the connection was still there, for me at least, like...yes, I am re-acquainting myself with him and he with me, but I just feel like I'm revisiting a favourite book I've not read for a little while.

He's so sweet to me, makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world even though I am not (and he must know I'm not tbh sjdisadj). He takes my little hands in his occasionally and kisses them gently, and he puts up with all my little foibles, like the fact I have to be holding his hand at all times and swing it back and forth occasionally. We are relatively long-distance (I say relatively because he's only about 2 hours away from me on the train which, to someone who travels by train all the time, is really inconsequential) so I don't get to see him as often as I would like but we do see each other as often as we can, and I enjoy every little second with him! We are so similar (not EXACTLY the same, but that doesn't matter, I wouldn't want to be the mirror image of my partner) and it makes him v easy to adore. I think he's beautiful, inside and out. He's so smart, he's handsome, he's kind, he's polite, well-dressed, I could listen to him talk about his interests (even when they don't always directly correspond with mine) for hours, he's ambitious, he has promise and potential, and I can see him wowing the country one day, like as a politician (a good, decent one) or something. He wows me very regularly so!!!

I don't wanna like, martyr myself, but I've had a genuinely difficult two years. Don't really wanna go over it all again, but it just feels like I've been surrounded by abuse and disease and death for way too long. Obviously I was pretty ill myself, I did talk about it a bit on here when it was really getting me down. Had a particular chronic reproductive health issue which has only recently been resolved, and it changed my body, it meant that I actually physically could not be intimate, I went from being a sensual person to being a bit touch-repulsed actually (but not bc I found it repulsive, but I genuinely thought I might contaminate or repulse someone else), I didn't even feel like a woman, I felt like a diseased and defective creature...I wanna say it's been difficult to pull myself out of that place but.....it kind of hasn't, because George makes it v easy? I mean, I'm still getting used to the way my body has changed and I genuinely hate myself 99% of the time...HOWEVER....George is gentle, he's attentive, he's genuinely attracted to me (delusional LOL) but he also cares about me as I am, as me, as Olivia. That makes every gesture with him, affectionate, intimate, romantic, sexy, cute, WHATEVER, come so naturally to me. I don't feel ashamed of myself. And.....as much as it pains me to say because I don't think I'm a good person most of the time....I think I deserve to not feel ashamed.

[theshoesofatiredman]

hey! it's been a few months but i was the anon back in May that needed advice for that youth retreat. ik it's been a while (meant to follow up, but forgot) but thanks for the kind words, the strategies did help. still forced to go to church and whatnot but i'm expecting it to be better in a few years. something that really stood out to me during the retreat was how intentionally vague all the phrasing was. it's one of the bigger christian retreats out there, happens annually at multiple locations for multiple sessions, all that stuff; and yet, there were absolutely no specifics on the actual bigotry the church perpetuates. only blanket statements about being upright in a 'fallen' world, do not imitate the masculine/feminine, blah. and i feel like that ties into the recent asks about the passive homophobia. a lot of churches have done a rebrand of coming off more vaguely but just as intense with the bigoted sentiments. it lets people fill in the gaps of what they wanted to get from the experience (and worked? people were sobbing so much and exclaiming they saw 'the face of god'). it's definitely less off putting for early believers / youth. saying awful shit but re framing it in a positive way still makes it awful shit... and at least in my church tricks you into thinking it's not that bad until you get the string of sermons where the priest compares lgbt stuff to alcoholism & a kid confessing to me they think they're same sex attracted but believe they're called to live a celibate life. idk where i'm going with this but the reframing of it all just. seems like a shitty attempt to become more palpable to the masses. lets people live in denial a little longer that they're the good ones, and fuels the persecution complex more if they get called out...

Thanks for reaching back out!!! I'm so glad to hear that my advice was helpful.

Yeah I think the reality is that the modern church is facing a civil rights crisis as LGBTQ+ equality gains ground across the world. More and more people will find their oppressive theology impossible to swallow, so they repackage it to make it palatable. I want to believe that a hundred years from now the Christians then will find LGBTQ exclusion as reprehensible as current Christians do chattel slavery. Obviously there will be exceptions, as there are now, but I think we will get there.

Right now what I would tell Christians is that they have the opportunity to be like the abolitionist Christians, the people who fought against the entrenched theological regimes that used to Bible to back their slave brand. There's a revolution happening and people's lives are on the line. Don't miss it.

I hope that the person who said they had to be celibate because they're gay finds happiness. I hope the life they lead is always one they freely choose, not one under duress, not a choice made while their soul hangs above the pits of hell. I hope they don't sit in condemnation of the gay people who choose differently.

I don't know if I would handle that kind of coming out well if it happened to me now. It's hard to say bc it would be so immediately triggering. I'm sorry you are in this position and I hope things get easier soon. Good luck out there and thanks for following up!

[liaisun]

AH that’s so sweet of you ;( i hope you make yourself some fun leg warmers for real soon too…!!! also sorry RE: my kevjeanriko, they’re not actually a three headed monster (but now im thinking thoughts) just they operate in such a fucked up way within their hierarchy and are sort of one Unit. instead of kevriko partners they’re a real trio. jean is at the bottom of the totem pole but is sort of rikos henchman for stuff they hide from kevin, but they all play weird games with each other and see what they can get away with. kevjean still fall in line behind riko and fear him but when the three of them work Together everyone hates it. they all go to psu and cause problems (giving away my identity if anyone who has read this wip sees this…)

but your kevjeanriko thoughts are DELICIOUS. kevin who knows how to manipulate riko into getting what he wants even if he shouldn’t….. jeans loyalty and devotion to the end…… Listen to kevin and Don’t touch him im sure conflict a lot. good luck jean. i know riko wants to kill kevjean and then himself when he realizes what’s going on HEHEHE that’s soooo delicious please continue speaking about it now and forever….. OK ok this is so long im sorry. good morning/goodnight <3

NEVER BE SORRY augh this is AMAZING!!!!! your mind seriously. sooooo correct abt kevjeanriko >:3 mafia au has the same dynamic where jean is riko's henchman of sorts and does things behind kevin's back allll the time, the things kevin cant stomach/riko thinks would be 'too far' for him but knows jean wont argue with. OWO THEM AT PSU???? im obsessed w the idea of jean being at psu (hence. the reason why i havent read tsc yet.... yes i know... im coping..) and RIKO AT PSU TOO?? ALL OF THEM??? begging my liege to say more. i have many riko @ psu thoughts but theyre more riko/wymack centered LOL. i read this renee/riko fic recently (edit ofc it was justadreamfox legend) with ravens!kev/riko/jean/neil all going to psu but the vibe was different but also so juicy

hehehe thank u :3 riko is on the edge of a double murder suicide when he realizes something is going on btween kevjean but then ofc he's like how can i leverage this... okay threesome time . ! because he needs to reaffirm his power and sex is about power to him. and kevs like ummm. WHA.T.

readmore because i am protecting the general populace LMFAO

anywayyy imagine jean in the same room as them while theyre arguing about this, i think he'd combust/error 404 from the conflicting demands and just curl up (metaphorically) on the floor, especially if kev's like "tell him it's not true!" and riko says "don't lie to me." so jean is like should i just die. (malfunctions) and then riko's like [lightbulb goes off] "oh kevin look what youve done to the poor thing..." my manipulative king taking back control of the situation to get what he wants. omg this is when jean would get muzzled (probably for the first time since he was taken out of the fighting ring ummmm period. period!) and riko's like "i've given u too much freedom with him kevin, i need to take his education into my own hands." and what's kevin going to do? argue about it? it makes him look even more guilty (esp bc he thinks he didn't do anything wrong.) then riko makes jean watch them have crazy sex, like "i'll teach you how to do it properly because you're a mindless beast" type of thing. 🙂‍↕️ this paragraph did not end how i expected it to LOLLL

[sarandipitywrites]

writing patterns tag game

rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

thanks for the tag, @adhdavinci! let's pretend this wasn't sitting in my drafts for a month 😅 go check out their lines here

passing the tag along (with no pressure) to @i-can-even-burn-salad, @macabremoons, @fanged-writer, @innocentlymacabre, @winterandwords, and an open tag for anyone who wants to share

sooo I'm gonna have to break some rules here bc I don't think I've even worked on 10 fics recently, much less posted them (not more than, like, a snippet at a time, anyway). so i'll start with what i've actually posted, then just... fuck it, we ball?

yeah that sounds good.

'Just stuff my dad into a bag,' she'd said. 'He'll fit, of course he will. Have you seen how small he is? He's bluffing, he won't really turn you into a fern,' she'd said. (Dead Roots, Dark Water, Ch 1)

For all his research, Daxter had never figured out who'd designed the Krimzon Guard Fortress. And it was a good thing, too, because if he ever did, he would shoot the architectural anarchist in the foot, run them over with a hellcat, and throw them in the port. Then he'd fish them out again just so he could shoot them in the face. (DRDW, Ch 2)

Magic and blood sit heavy on V’s tongue. (Untitled Cyberwitch WIP, Ch 1)

The silence amplified everything: the squeak of rusty nails in the boards beneath Luka's feet; the rat-a-tat rattle of the loose panes in the windows; Jules's unsteady breathing as they tapped on their phone; Luka's own stammering heartbeat. "I don't think we should be here." (I Am Alive)

I have always been here. (A Haunted Home)

'The monster is not your enemy.' A half-crushed note, faded and bled, written in his own hand: the only familiar thing in the room where Lienzo had awakened. (The Art of Empty Space (V2), Ch 1)

It was the pain that woke him. (TAES (V1), Ch i-don't-know,-i-didn't-section-this-thing-into-chapters)

The air coated his lungs in a thick layer of smog and exhaust, vapor and sweat and noise, cacophonous clanging competing for his attention. Engines, alarms, voices. Jak let them all in, let them bury him in a landslide of stimulation. It wasn't stale, silent, recirculated air. It was alive, and so was he. (DRDW, Ch 3)

Metal shrieked against metal. Violet paint streaked across the green of his speeder. Screaming. Crackling eco slugs reached out with staticky tendrils as they whizzed by. (DRDW, Ch 10)

The ocean breeze brought with it decay: rotting seaweed infested with sandflies; drowned fish with oil and eco caked in their gills; algae and mildew and rotting wood. Its icy fingers trailed goosebumps down his skin, cooled the blood beneath. (DRDW, Ch 13)

so, if we're looking for patterns, i think it looks like... i really like character voices; starting en media res; and starting with some really vivid descriptions. anything you guys see that i missed?

[raayllum]

thinking about these lines in particular bc good god, man

Karim’s sure fire focus on the end, so much like Viren, where he only sees his people restored through his own glorious hand because the end is all that matters, even as a child to adulthood:

Karim could see that line, unprotected and waiting for him. They only needed to reach it. [...] He had memorized the runes. The spell, its words, its motions. He had visualized it countless times: the orb restored by his hand in a display of magic so brilliant it would light the city’s poisoned sky like a golden sunrise.

The persistent idea of loss and how he rails against it (which, no wonder the Soul Candle ceremony is so important, when he lost a friend recently too alongside his eldest sister)

Stars. Just stars, obviously (+ bonus “game motif” of playing a game as children, and then it’s very much not to boot / “yes, mages were his prey”)

WHAM. Someone slammed into Karim’s side. He went down hard. But we’re going to win, he thought, blinking stars out of the noon sun. Someone tore the banner from his grasp. We have to win. 

We have to win, Karim told himself. The writhing, tainted darkness of Lux Aurea’s night sky spread infinitely above him, the stars all swallowed up inside it.

They did not stop until they reached a dry riverbed far, far past the last of Lux Aurea’s golden gates. They could see the stars again, the violet tinge of twilight behind them. It would be dawn soon. 

Never mind that nothing good ever happens at dawn in this show (Sarai and the queens of duren’s deaths, Callum’s possession, etc) + bonus river/water motif (although it’s dry). 

Tainted by darkness, corruption, continually (“the writhing, tainted darkness of Lux Aurea”)

At dusk, every shadowed corner of Lux Aurea erupted with—he struggled to find words for them—monsters. Some of them he could almost call familiar, like horses and banthers, but they were changed. Like the sun orb itself, the abominations rippled with corruption, with tainted magic so vile that light itself seemed to bend to avoid its touch.

After darkness, light. [...] He hardly heard her. I can save him, Karim thought. I can save all of us. Nothing is lost! Karim’s mind raced and found a light to cling to: the spell—the cleansing spell!

Which also fits with his emphasis on light (and tradition) in his original short story from Vol. 1, “The Queen’s Soul”:

Karim’s chest tightened. “It is never too late. We must honor our traditions, now and always! They are the light that will guide our way out of this darkness.”

Janai spoke with a brutal honesty that cut him like a blade. “Her soul – it is lost.”

“No. It merely waits, Sister. It waits for us,” Karim urged. “We must guide her back to the Sun.”

The constant emphasis and comparisons to sickness and infection, also tying in lines from the Book One novelization in terms of how the Moonshadow elves respond to Rayla: 

“Your wound,” announced Tijana, staggering away from Osato. “That’s— that must be how it spreads. Like an infection!” [...] The corruption wriggled like worms under his skin, snaking further with every beat of his heart, down towards his hand and up to his shoulder. “Cut it off,” he shouted. “Cut off my arm, before it spreads!”

"Runaan, you know that weakness is an infection," the third elf said so angrily he was spitting. "You must cut it out!" (book one novelization)

He could still see it: the top of the Sunforge Tower, upside-down from where he lay, shrouded in inky corruption. It looked ill, its sickness weeping red and crowning the spire in a haze of blood. [...] All around them, he could hear the sound of battle down every alleyway, around every corner, the worst of the bloodshed mercifully shrouded by the night’s darkness. How many had they already lost? Karim felt sick, desperate, weak. [...] Karim took a last look back at the ailing heart of Lux Aurea atop the Sunforge Tower.

Which, continual heart motif even over storms, thank you kindly, as well as the red equalling sickness, and Karim literally putting on the red glove of his sick, dead friend by the end of the story. 

Karim waited until he could no longer hear the sound of her boots before he let himself weep. He wept for Osato as he buried him, marking his grave with a circle of stones. He wept for his city, his people, and the darkness struck deep into their hearts.

As well as Karim’s parallels to Claudia - the younger sibling, unable to accept change, unable to accept that they cannot save everyone they love with their magic, likewise poisoned with sickness and corruption and losing/finding  (“Stay safe, and stay in the light. Don’t follow me, and don’t look for me. I don’t think you’ll find me, anyway.” Dear Callum)

The corrupted elves drew closer. Osato stepped towards them, a desperate captain reaching for his soldiers, but Tijana seized Osato by the arm. “Don’t. They are lost. But we’re still alive.”

“Lost? They are our kin! They are not dead!” Karim protested. “They might still be saved! All of us can still be saved! We must—”

“I will banish that darkness,” Karim swore to Osato’s grave. “I swear it, Osato. Lux Aurea will not die with you. We will be whole again. By the Sun, we will be whole.”

And last but not least because TDP hates me, specifically

Karim stepped towards them, peering closely, and his eyes fell upon Osato’s wound. The moon, he realized, had played a cruel trick. Osato’s blood was not simply dark in the moonlight… It was black.

as well as

“Do not speak as if you mourn him!” Karim snapped, overcome. “You killed him!”

Tijana spoke softly, almost at a whisper. “He was my friend.”

Anyway this short story was extremely fucked and i am both scared and excited to see the literal ramifications it has for both the Sunfire elves and Janai/Amaya and Karim, as well as the possible broader implications for S5, dark magic, Aaravos, and possession plot line as a whole

[spaghett-onaplate]

gods dude i miss living in australia ahdaskfjsdg like i loved going grocery shopping in woolworths. like i think we used to go twice a week or so? and that period of time was one of the very few times i would happily eat veggies. like i was chomping on a carrot or two the entire time. and like i think i loved my 3 months in australia bc while it wasnt a vacation (bc we were supposed to live there for like 4 years but came back be of complications w my dads job) i still didnt ahve school and i used to go to the park daily and run around and/or play cricket and there were so many birb!!!! i fucking love magpies even tho they were a pain in the arse and we used to all around the city exploring and omg i loved opal asdnsjfsdkfj I STILL HAVE MY FUCKING CARD LMAOOO i loved the trains man. they were so cool. ooh and i remember when i had my first bagel lmao and a seagull stole my brothers asdh aksfj. fun fucking times man i love being nostalgic about those few months they were amazing. like probably the best few days of my life i could talk about it for ages actually

sappho awww firstly thank you for popping in my inbox I love hearing from you!!! and secondly I was thinking about this sort of topic on a rare and ponderous walk I went on just half an hour ago. like I've lived in this same house for three years and vaguely same area for my whole life and yet there are streets i've never walked down?? It's all kinda mundane and ordinary to me? and I was just walking through these backstreets and thinking if I have no appreciation for this area and my life here I will have no appreciation for anything. I was walking around imagining a post-apocalypse type scenario like yeah I would travel around and walk through streets like this. But lol in general just trying to appreciate the familiar and the mundane. So perfect timing for this ask!! it's sweet and interesting to hear about how such a normal place for me is a beautiful memory for you, I will take care to appreciate my opal card every time I take the bus and train to school. it's a shame you couldn't have stayed here longer!! it's possible we could have crossed paths or that we even did! do you think you would come back in the future? a lot of my early cheerful memories involve a park and birds too :) as you may have seen I briefly talked about in tags recently? right now my dad keeps getting woken by bird wars at 4am, bc cuckoos are moving in to the area and they kick other birds' eggs out of their nests. and a few days ago my mum was woken by the noise of a brush-tailed possum (I think they're called that?) a horrifying screech which I will include a youtube link for. and re: veggies I think Australia is in a fairly unique and privileged position as the producer + customer of good produce. like most of the places that produce the best stuff don't even get to enjoy them? like Brazil and Ecuador and their coffee beans. that's a whole nother discussion about the global north/south ig but yeah like thats something I take for granted. exploring the city is soso nice I never get sick of it, one friend and I often end up wandering around the CBD when we hang out :) i went on a walk all around sydney harbour with another friend, and I've only walked across the harbour bridge once lol by myself. the magpies and seagulls!! man!! love magpies and everyone has a funny story of being absolutely divebombed in spring by them. one time my friend and I got sandwiches from the Subway that's at a circular quay wharf, if yoy rmemeber that station? Right near the opera house? anyways her sandwich fell and the toppings were gobbled up by seagulls in just a few seconds. Rip to your brother's bagel :'( I don't have bagels often but I love them. ooh also on the topic of opal cards/public transport -- the Sydney Metro! they've got this cool driverless speedy new train line and they're expanding it by revamping some existing train lines. and lightrail expansion too! so when you come back you can zip around the city in style. anyways in your honour I will move through the city with much appreciation for all the mundane things, and I hope you get to visit again sometime :))

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

The ask game

Zuma please

Two asked for Zuma. This pup is so loved. Why can't Spin Master see this. Hey Spin, hey Nick, re-stock Zuma merch in Brasil please I'm begging, if it's not selling in other countries, bring all that over here bc we're out of stock and there are children crying--

My first impression - Oh, they have a plain brown pup without marks or anything. That's... Oddly cool. Also he tastes like orange flavored chocolate.

My impression now - MY PRECIOUS SON TOO PURE FOR THIS WORLD, the show runners may not appreciate you BUT THE FANDOM DOES, DON'T WORRY--

Favorite thing about that character - He's always so chill and in a good mood. He radiates good vibes but is also very balanced as he gets serious sometimes too. It got to the point I legit associate the sea with him, it's not just for being the water rescue pup, I SEE the sea in him. Chill but also UNHINGED and free.

Least favorite thing - The color. Orange, I mean. It's one of my least favorite colors and he's making me wear orange in the near future as soon as I'm done painting a t-shirt of him for myself. Oh the things I do for my favorite characters, as if it wasn't bad enough I'm wearing orange in a Camp Half-Blood shirt too.

Favorite line/scene - SPOILER ALERT FOR THOSE WHO DIDN'T WATCH THE MIGHTY MOVIE YET---- Dude, I LOVED the fact he was the chosen one to put an end to Victoria when they had to share the one Crystal they had. It could have been any other pup but Ryder was like HAVE AT HER, ZUMA. AND HAVE AT HER HE DID. Oh boy he was LIVING HIS MOMENT there. Peak badassery. Favorite scene so far, he was awesome there, he had fun tricking her around, he messed her up SO GOOD.

Favorite interaction that character has with another - I could go on all day with several moments between him and Rocky but-- I just recently saw him and Marshall windsurfing together AND IT WARMED MY HEART IN A WAY I CAN'T DESCRIBE????? I know it was for the plot so Marshall could do something else later in the episode BUT STILL, IT WAS SUCH A NICE THING TO SEE

A character that I wish that character would interact with more - Rocky, Liberty and Cap'n Turbot. I want Cap'n Turbot to teach him more about the ocean life. They could have so many adventures together too, we wouldn't feel like Zuma's left out all the time if we would at least see him interacting on the regular with Cap'n Turbot.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character - GOMAMON GOMAMON GOMAMON

A headcanon about that character - I feel like not many people saw the old post with random headcanons so I'll say it again, I like to believe Zuma is a descendant of Merpups who left the sea to live on land.

A song that reminds of that character - "Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride" specifically the Pop Version by Jump5

An unpopular opinion about that character - I don't think he is THAT sad about not being called for missions as often as the other pups. You can check more about it on this post here.

Favorite picture - Whenever he's jumping to become water. HAVE YOU SEEN HIS FACE WHEN HE DOES THAT. HE'S SO THRILLED TO BE ONE WITH WATER. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

His little tail wag in this last one just before jumping 😭💜