#but i cant do anything about the salt haha

[kcrossvine-art]

hi friends! :D y'all voted and fought neck and neck for this SO- heres the first entry into our little cooking journey of J. R. R. Tolkeins fictional food for his fictional little guys he puts in fictional turmoils for our enjoyment and awe!

 Before we get started i wanna say i owe my heart to all the LotR fans who upkeep the wiki, debate the cannon, and create their own versions of the foods mentioned. Both because of my love for people who LOVE (passionate people)(passion about anything) and because my own knowledge of this series is a little dusty. I've never seen the movies but I did read the books growing up. I'll be learning and remembering things from a fairly newbie standpoint, so no worries if you yourself arent familiar with the series! (and if you are familiar, hopefully youll forgive me!)

We will be making Lembas ('waybread') today! If you've made your own version of this please feel free to share it, similarly if you have any ideas for what we make next!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to Lembas?” YOU MIGHT ASKWell so the funny thing is we kinda dont know. At least not entirely? The elves are dicks like that. But heres what we'll be using in ours-

Butter

Self-rising flour

Granulated Sugar

Raisins

A small dried fruit of your choosing

Almonds OR Pecans

EGG

Whole Milk

Heavy Cream

And if you would like for dipping-

Blackberry jam

To the extent i understand this is kinda like hardtack from the bri'ish military, but a fantastical version of it that actually tastes really good. Hardtack was a military provision with the texture of a brick that took a long time to spoil and could be easily carried with soldiers. So the texture we're going for is super dense, packed full with nuts and fruits (haha just lik-), but perhaps not that dense. We want something closer to a dog biscuit than actual tack.

I remembered something about corn being mentioned, thankfully the wiki clarified that no actually the british just referred to any grain as corn back in the day. Thank Fuck! Although I would like to try a version of this using masa in the future.

AND, “what does Lembas taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

Took a few tries but eventually got it perfectly chewy and dense

The raisins cook-in like little beads of flavortown sweetness

Cant speak for other fruits but for dried apple it softened up nicely, kinda matching the raisins in the end

Im a big pecan slut, pecans fuck on anything especially here. Crumble them on top after you coat the dough with the egg-mixture for some visual appeal

Somewhat flakey outside

The jam was my idea, it was nice but might be too sweet for some tastes

Would pair very well with a kiwi flavored drink

Or mead

I can see why this would a travelling provision. Its both sugary (a good thing when expending energy) and filling (also a good thing when youre travelling) while not being overwhelming with flavor (if youre prone to motion sickness. Horse sickness? Do get motion sickness on horses?)

Its like how if you're going hiking you want a good mix of sugars and salts, to balance your intake of water.

. If you wanna make it like the illustrations or the movie, use a cookie cutter for either triangles or squares . If you don't have a cookie cutter, an apple cutter also works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . try to keep the board you'll roll the dough out onto chilled before you use it, it seems better for the texture of the food though i dont entirely know why

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So from beginning to end, it took about an hour and half for the first attempt. Down to about 40 minutes for the second attempt. These are a real simple recipe because its not like a croissant where the margin for error is nonexistent. Middle-earth be damned my boy can work a grill.

I'd recommend storing in a tubberware container, but if you're deadset on using leaves please rinse and dry them first, and wrap the bread in either wax paper or saran wrap underneath. We dont have mallorn leaves in real life (as far as we know) but most salad greens should work, or as Marie Porter says (linked in the reblogs!) a banana leaf.

I really enjoyed the process of making this recipe, itd be really easy to batch-bake these en masse, and the process of eating said recipe. Like all jokes aside, i think this would be a great substitute for trailmix. Its not going to get smushed and even if it breaks a bit it wont affect the taste. It wont keep you fed for a whole day but pair it with some pickles or a salty snack and yeah itll keep your motor running.

I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Let me know if you think I got something wrong, or if you ran into issues with the recipe. We're off to a strong start, lads!

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

6 TBSP butter, chilled

2 cups self-rising flour

1 TBSP granulated sugar

½ cup raisins

½ other dried fruit (strawberry slices, oranges, etc.), chopped

Handful of almonds or pecans, chopped

1 egg, well beaten

½ cup whole milk

4 TBSP heavy cream

Method:

Preheat your oven to 400 f.

Cut the butter into slivers/small pieces. With your hands, combine the butter into the flour in a mixing bowl until the mixture resembles coarse sand.

Chop your dried nuts and dried fruit until it feels right.

Mix in the sugar, raisins, nut, and dried fruit of your choosing

In a seperate bowl, beat the egg until combined, and then mix in the milk until combined. Keep a bit of this mixture to brush the tops of the bread.

Stir while adding the egg/milk mixture and the heavy cream into the flour. Mix just until combined into a soft dough.

Knead the dough until firm on a floured surface.

Roll into a half inch thickness and cut with a square or leaf shaped cookie cutter. (...or in my case, an apple corer).

Place on a lightly greased baking sheet, with about an inch of space between each piece. Brush the tops of the lembas with some of the mixture you saved earlier.

Bake for about 15-20 minutes, or until it turns a soft gold and the inside is chewy.

[kitsuga]

sea salt kisses. {Alex x Reader/Farmer}

Description:

A fic in which Alex gets hit by the realization train. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── 

Tags: fluff, kissing, not betad, not edited, gender neutral reader, stardew valley x reader, stardew valley x farmer, alex x reader, alex (stardew valley) x reader, alex (stardew valley) x farmer, whatever tag tickles your fancy at this point

Word Count: 1,587

A/N: Written on: April 22, 2024 

Quick piece to get back into writing after i had another loooooooooong writers block so if its good, great! If its bad, too bad you read it anyway too late now cant take it back, haha, SLKJDFHLKSJD  

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── 

The sand was just warm enough to make him feel weightless, like he was floating on a cloud. Or was it the breeze that tickled his skin, lifting him up and carrying him away softly, gently? Maybe it was the way in which the sun's rays hit his face just right, embracing him like a familiar hug that made him feel like he could take on the skies.  

Or, really, it was the way his company made him feel—the way his heart fluttered and soared and carried him along with it. Alex snuck a look at the person at his side; their face up towards the sun, a smile on their face that could rival it. The sight brought on a smile of his own, warmth in his chest growing stronger than the summer sun.  

Yoba, how beautiful the sun made them look; the light surrounding them hugged them in just the right places, making them look almost ethereal. Well, any light did that to them, in Alex’s eyes. Maybe because they’d hung out for a good while now, he started to actually see them—maybe they’ve always been this beautiful, but he was so absorbed in himself that he couldn’t take notice. Here they sat, however, closer than ever and intertwined in places of his heart that he would have never expected. What was this feeling? 

“Hey Farmer, you’ve gotta move your big head; you’re blocking out the whole sun. How am I supposed to tan?” 

“Uh. Go find your own spot?”  

They were snarky, a faux pout on their lips as they finally turned to look at him. Farmer brought their arms up, waving them in the air and watching as their shadows covered the face of their lounging companion beside them. Alex grumbled, perching himself up with his arms out behind him to get some sun of his own. The Farmer’s laugh was a melody dancing around with the breeze, subconsciously pulling Alex in; he leaned over and bumped into them with his shoulder, playfully. 

“If I go find my own spot, I’ll miss the clown show.” 

“Woooooow.” They drug out the word, feigning hurt. “You’re so mean to me! Why do I even bother calling you my friend?” 

Alex smiled, closing his eyes and throwing his head back, soaking up the sun.  

“Yeah, well.” He laughed a bit to himself, speaking without thinking. “You could probably punch me in the face and I’d still want you, so say what you want.” 

Silence. It felt as though the world itself had stopped moving around him; the waves, the breeze, the Earth itself had stopped moving and froze in time. The air around them suddenly grew so tense it could be cut with a simple piece of paper at this point. Alex snapped his eyes open, whipping his head back up to look at them, completely bewildered. Farmer looked back at him just as shocked, eyes wide yet hiding any emotion from them. 

“What?” 

“What?” 

“Alex, huh?” 

“Huh?” 

There was no way that slipped out, right? What did he even mean by that—did he want them? Oh Yoba, he did, didn’t he? That’s what that feeling was—they weren’t simply just his best friend, they had grown far more than that when he wasn’t looking. Did he already ruin it before anything could have started? What about their friendship? He’d just ruined everything; why didn’t his brain work the right way—like others? Why did he have to have such a hard time watching his mouth!  

His panic was interrupted by Farmer’s voice, Alex’s face never relaxing from his shock and panic. 

“Alex? What did you mean by that?” 

“By what?” 

“By ‘I’d still want you’?” 

“Who said that?” 

“Alex.” 

His curt answers had no effect on the Farmer, nor did his attempts to play it off. He turned to look anywhere but them, but his eyes couldn’t stay in just one spot. His face started to heat up, and it wasn’t from the sun this time. His embarrassment crawled up his neck, burning his ears first; he went from biting his cheek, to scowling, to biting his cheek once again—back and forth—trying to think of something, anything, to get him out of the situation he found himself in. 

“Alex.” They said again, trying to lean into his line of sight as his eyes darted everywhere but on them. “Alex? What did you mean? Do you like me?” 

“Huh?” He started to comically move his head around to follow his line of sight now, trying to blatantly avoid their gaze. 

His eyes shot down to one of his hands that held himself up the second he felt the heat from their own cover it. He could feel as they leaned in, their body now taking up space in his own personal bubble; he could sense that their face had leaned in close to his, but he was far too nervous to look back at them—he kept his eyes on their hands. 

“Alex, do you like me?” They asked again, following up with a soft, feather-light kiss on his cheek bone without giving him a chance to answer. “Do you?”  

Another feather-light kiss, more on his cheek. Another one closer to the corner of his lip. Each peck of their lips left behind a burning mark and an electric shock all the way to his rapidly beating heart. Another. A soft whisper of ‘do you?’ once again by them against his lips, followed by a soft, gentle kiss.  

Their lips, the smell of them, their body heat—all far too fleeting. He turned to finally look at them as they pulled away and sat back up, their smile radiant. He used his other hand to rub at the back of his neck, trying (and failing) to calm himself down. His heart kept leaping out of his throat, out of his chest. His hands were shaking, he’d fall if he wasn’t careful. Alex kept trying to frown, to deny whatever he could and save face, but the corners of his lips had betrayed him as he kept smiling, no matter how hard he attempted to stop. Okay, so, maybe he did. Maybe he did like them a bit.  

“Yoba, you want me so bad.” They joked, trying to clear the air and help ease his embarrassment. 

“What.” His face fell deadpan, too stunned to respond. 

They laughed once again, a hearty one, that had them hunched over; he simply stared at them intensely, leaning into them to stare harder—though all it did was make them laugh even more, until they struggled to catch their breath. Once they did, they turned back to him, finding themselves face to face. They simply kept smiling at him, even as they wiped the tears from their eyes; he started to fail to hide his smile once again, now sharing a small chuckle with them. 

Alex leaned back on his hands again, tilting his head and taking in their entire self, a gentle smile on his lips and soft, loving look in his gaze. Yeah, he did want them, actually. He wasn’t sure why he kept denying it to himself before, but he really did want them—all of them, for the rest of his life, actually. Even if he tried to think of anything else, his brain had fried a bit-- replaying every moment he had experienced clammy hands, rapid heartbeats, or some sort of longing while in their presence; yeah, he did want them, more than he ever thought he would.  

He watched them lean in again, though he let his body do the talking this time. As they got closer, one of his hands moved up to cup their jaw gently, his heartbeat racing through his veins as they leaned into his touch. Alex wanted to leave his eyes open and look at them—how beautiful they were, how ethereal they must have been—but he allowed himself to simply keep them closed, blissfully melting into the feel of their lips interlocking with his own. The feel of their summer-stained lips and the taste of their salty chapstick had lingered as they slowly—reluctantly—pulled away, burning the sensations into his brain for longer than he’d ever know. 

They seemed to mirror him now; nervous, a little awkward, but hopelessly in some sort of love. Farmer looked away, trying to hide just how wide their smile had been now. Alex sat there a moment, trying to let his brain catch up. Oh, so that happened. Oh, so this was happening—with them. He blew air out of his nose, resembling a slight laugh at how dumbfounded he was.  

But, this was where he was meant to be. He hadn’t realized this before, but the world had only seemed to stop earlier because it was time for it to. Time isn’t lost if you’re where you’re meant to be, he believed, because it was time meant to be shared. He was exactly where he was meant to be—exactly who he was meant to be with. It simply took his empty, big ol’ head of his to accidentally spit out words without thinking to get him to realize this; everything made sense the moment the words left his lips—everything made sense the moment their lips touched his own.  

He turned their face back towards him, pulling them gently back down towards them with a large, goofy, happy grin. 

“Yeah, I think I do.” 

[livelaughlovekny]

You bake with him

Notes: Modern AU, Gender neutral reader, 2nd person POV, Streamer!Reader, OOC!Muichirou

Summary: You try to bake a cake while Muichirou just watches.

a/n: ohmygod y'all its the way i tried writing muichirou as he was before he got his memories back and then halfway decided to try and write him after he got his memories back and changed it but the thing is I cant write EITHER personality well SO ITS LIKE HIM BUT NOT HIM CRIES also this is like really long and written without any er proofreading so IMSOSORRY

  “Hello everyone! Welcome back to ‘Can I Cook It? Yes I Can!’, a series in which I try to create all sorts of foods, ranging from a bowl of chicken soup to macarons! Today’s objective is to bake a simple one-tier cake. Oh and, we have a guest today! Everyone, do welcome my beloved, Muichirou! He’s just here to observe, haha.” Stepping to the side, you allow your audience a view of your lover. Muichirou looks at the camera before glancing down at the comments section. It became extremely active the moment you moved aside.

  You were by no means the most viewed streamer, though you did have a dedicated fanbase of your own. On normal days, there would be a steady stream of comments. Occasionally, there would be a large influx of comments and views, but that only happens when you’re celebrating festivals by creating challenging foods. (The last time you tried, you ended up spending the entire next day cleaning up your kitchen.) So, it was quite surprising to see the number of viewers suddenly increase. You looked at the comments section too.

————

gluedcheeks: OMG?? THATS YOUR BF ??

antidepressants98: HUHUHUH IM SUDENLY GAY

InADitch247: ahhh you two look so cute tgt!!! ><

allthingsblack: how does it feel to be gods bias?

EATINGRAMEN: @ allthingsblack right, GOD I SEE WHAT YOU DO FOR OTHERS

————

  The rest of the comments that followed had similar contents. You were stupefied. You were under no such impressions that Muichirou was anything less than gorgeous, but after being with him for so long, you naturally got used to it a little. Seeing the reactions of people who never had the chance to be graced by such a beauty for, you couldn’t help but a little smug and sneak a glance at your boyfriend. Surprisingly, he was already looking at you, having lost interest in the reactions of others earlier. Smiling a little, you moved back to block your audience’s view of him. Ignoring the flood of dismayed comments, you resumed your talk. “Now, let us get started! I’ll be sharing the link to recipe I’ll be following later. After last month’s baking incident, I decided to pick an easier recipe to follow today.”

————

OKOKOKOKOKOK: understandable as you should

LALALALALALALA: its a surprise youre still willing to bake

————

  What could you and the comments possibly be talking about? Muichirou was mystified. Still, he silently watched you curiously as you grabbed the necessary ingredients and preheated the oven. Once you were done adjusting the settings on the oven and lining the baking pan with parchment paper, you moved on to the next step. You grabbed a bowl that you deemed big enough and dumped in some flour, baking powder and salt. Seeing this, Muichirou couldn’t help but blurt out “How do you know how much to add?” He did not see you measure the ingredients beforehand and the amount of each ingredient you poured in seemed questionable.

  “I don’t.” Ah what a simple response, but it gave Muichirou a better idea and guess of how “last month’s baking incident” could’ve happened. He mentally prepared himself for a “today’s baking incident”. Perhaps he should’ve worn a raincoat? He wasn’t familiar with baking but he was familiar with your uncanny ability to mess things up ridiculously so. He watched with new found interest as you whisked the ingredients before moving on to turning on your stand mixer. After fumbling with the switch and buttons a little, you managed to turn on it and waited a few minutes for it to beat the butter and sugar.

  Muichirou moved closer to you and looked over your shoulder. The butter and sugar now looked pale and creamy, which (to Muichirou’s surprise) matched what the recipe stated. Oh, maybe you weren’t that bad at baking? Unaware of your boyfriend’s skepticism, you continued with the next steps: adding two eggs. Now this was easy. You’ve cracked many eggs before. However, it seems that today wasn’t your day. You must’ve used too much force because the moment you tried cracking the egg apart, it burst open. The slimy egg whites and yolk now stained the front of your shirt and kitchen walls. Some of it already began to drip down your kitchen counter too. Muichirou silently concluded that you couldn’t bake.

  Without hesitation, he shook his head at you, sighed, and reached over to crack both eggs for you. He then proceeded to help you wipe off the egg remains from the walls and counter. Pointing at your stained shirt, he asked, “Are you not going to change? If you don’t wash it soon, it’s going to stain forever.” You wave a hand and laughed. “Of course not, I’m too lazy. This is my streaming shirt, no matter what happens, I’ll until I’m done to wash it.” That explained why this originally-purely-white shirt had all sorts of weird patches of colours on it.

————

imachicken: AHHHHH HE LEANED OVER TO HELP YOU AJHHH

xstrxnxut: that’s literally the hottest thing i’ve ever witnessed

EATINGRAMEN: HOW TO BE EGG

whywouldiknow: taking a bath with my hairdryer rn !! :D

EATINGRAMEN: HOWTOBEEGG

allthingsblack: HOWTOBEEGG

————

  Unlike your extremely active comments section, Muichirou decided to keep his thoughts to himself and chose to observe what else would happen.

  After adding milk, oil and vanilla into the bowl (all volumes were eyeballed obviously) and mixing it, you added the entire mixture of dry flour in and beat it until all ingredients were combined. (you were supposed to add half first, beat it, then add the other half but you wanted to “save time”). You then poured the batter into the baking pan. The recipe stated that you should use a spatula to smooth out the top. You could not find yours and decided to just move on to stuffing it into the oven. The recipe stated that you had to wait a minimum of thirty minutes. No troubles arose so far, impressive! Keep up the good work!

  Proud of yourself, you grinned before turning to the camera. “Haha, guess today’s baking session will be a success! I’ll now be making the cake’s frosting.” Grabbing the bowl used to beat the butter previously, you placed more butter into it and dumped some sugar in and allowed your stand mixer to beat the mixture. With a soft smile on his face, Muichirou leaned against the counter as he watched you dump more sugar (?), milk and vanilla into the bowl.

————

OKOKOKOKOKOK: i didnt know frosting had salt in them

LALALALALALALA: thye don’t

————

  There was still a lot of time left so you decided to interact with your audience. A quick glance at your viewership left you shocked. The numbers were nearly triple of your usual viewership and it was still steadily rising! Was having a new face really that effective in gaining more viewers? Of course not, the effectiveness depended on how attractive that face was! Perhaps you should invite Muichirou to join your streams more often, it seemed your fans really liked him and were extremely interested in him.

————

coconut_972: how did you guys meet????????

user4356892: how long have you guys been tgt

lovelove: YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE WHO CONFESSED FIRST

WEEVHJ: WHATS YOUR BFS SKINCARE ROUTINE

dontclickonmyname: YEAH WHAT PROCUCTS DPES HE USW

EATINGRAMEN: what kind of ritual did you perform to be so lucky

allthingsblack: none, if youre not gods fav you obv wont get someone liek that

EATINGRAMEN: 😔

allthingsblack: 😔

————

  Wow, you were certainly not expecting so many questions. You glanced over at your lover, silently asking if he was okay with all the attention. Muichirou simply smiled at you before answering a question at random, “Everyday, I made sure to stand on my head for three minutes while reciting the following line aloud ‘I have no doubt that even if everyone in the world opposes us we will get together because our love for each other is so great that it’s greater than the universe itself’ two hundred and ninety seven times. You have to make sure that you say it two hundred and ninety seven times within three minutes. You will definitely get your soulmate if you do this. I’m living proof.” He said all that with a nonchalant look. For a moment, you couldn’t tell whether or not he was serious. In the end, you decided not to dwell on it. After all, who cares? (Your audience certainly did. The comments section exploded with multiple users commenting that line along with the cartwheel emoji repeatedly.)

  Looking through the comments, you found a question to answer. “Oh, what’s our love languages? Well, mine is all of them, HAHA. And his is probably acts of service and words of affirmation. He used to be bad with his words but he’s getting better now!” You smiled lovingly at your boyfriend and he couldn’t help but smile back. Indeed, when the two of you first met, he was cold and aloof and held great disdain for anyone who wasn’t part of his family. But slowly and surely, he warmed up to you and now, the both of you have been together for quite some time and he has learnt to express his feelings a little better.

  The two of you spent quite some time together answering the questions. It was mostly you going through the comments, picking out questions out of the sea of “🤸 I have no doubt that even if everyone in the world opposes us we will get together because our love for each other is so great that it’s greater than the universe itself 🤸”. You answered most of the questions, with Muichirou occasionally chiming in to provide some tidbits about the both of you. He didn’t talk much but whenever he had something to say, it would either be to praise you or an affectionate insult (which was actually still clearly a compliment for you!!). He did not look at the camera or the screen but rather at you. He loved watching you excitedly talk about stuff.

  It was a while until you saw the following comments:

————

OKOKOKOKOKOK: hey how long has the cake been in there already

LALALALALALALA: HAHA I THINK AN HOUR. AT LEAST.

————

  Oh no, you completely forgot about the cake! Rushing to the oven, you put on your gloves before opening it, reaching into it, and pulling out the pan. It did not look like the golden brown it should be. And while the recipe stated you wait for the cake to cool before adding frosting, you decided that at the point, time did not matter. Haphazardly, you used a large spoon to scoop out the frosting and spread it on the cake.

  The frosting looked very uneven no matter how many times you tried to smooth it out. Oh well, who cares? Definitely not you! Using the same spoon, you scooped out a large chunk of the cake and turned around to offer it to Muichirou. He saw how the cake looked when it came out the oven. In fact, he could still see black peeking out of the uneven layers of frosting. How could he deny you though? Resigned to his fate, he opened his mouth and ate the cake obediently. He paused after the first bite. He slowly chewed again.

  You watched his reaction intently but could not tell what he was thinking. Finally, you asked, “Well?” Muichirou swallowed before answering. He smiled brightly. “Really good. In fact, you should let me finish the rest.” A beautiful bright smile blossomed on your face as you excitedly took a bite for yourself. Your blossomed smile immediately wilted. It. Was. Salty. And So. Very. Very. Burnt. Really good my foot! You had added large amounts of salt into the frosting instead of sugar and the cake tasted like charcoal (you did not know how charcoal tasted like but you were positive that this was how it must taste like)!

  You couldn’t even swallow the bite and spat it out into the bin. Looks like this baking session was a fail too! How disappointing, maybe better luck next time!

————

EATINGRAMEN: im so jealous he could still smile and offer praises

allthingsblack: OHMYGOD RIGHT ?? like he even tried to make sure that only he would have to suffer

OKOKOKOKOKOK: I KNEW IT IT WAS SALT NOT SUGAR

LALALALALALALA: at least today wasn’t exactly a baking incident like last time

————

a/n: ill really do anything just so I can avoid revising omfg

[dappersautismcreature]

hey sorry this is super outta nowhere but i was scrolling thru the mcytconfessions blog n saw you saying youre a wilbur hater and im genuinely curious as to why?

this isnt me waiting to like. white knight him and bite your face off btw. i like wilbur but this *is* genuine curiosity pls dont be afraid lmfaoksdsdfkhf

ah yeah, sorry nonnie, and no worries. sorry for the rant ahead i just wanna lay it all out.

listen, its pure vibes, i dont really have an explanation for it. i liked him just generally for a while, but i watched a video where he talked about american gun control and it just came off super uck to me. like, a lot of british lefties have this weird thing where they will assume americans are all stupid just for kicks when we've actually been indoctrinated to think the way we do. i guess i just dont like seeing brits have political takes that are just pure "america needs to get its shit together" cause yeah bro we know, focus on whatever the fuck is up with ur government please. I feel like if i talked politics with wilbur soot he would be condescending as shit and basically explain to me what socialism is or whatever when its like, dude,, please. british lefties think they know more than the average young american, which is most of the time not true, or not something to insult someone over. (this is also because he reminds me of a shitty ex friend who was in the states for AMERICAN STUDIES but would just talk on and on and on about how dumb americans were -___-)

and its more than that, i never get idolization of people, like, online people. the closest ive come to it was technoblade maybe? gtws is pretty awesome too, bbh is low level idolization maybe. so it weirds me out when people are just in awe over him, makes my instincts go wild. im really not accusing him of anything, i know this is just the silly brain reacting silly. it just weirds me out. his fans do not know him, nobody's fans know the person, and yet they act like they do, and like he's gods gift to leftism and queerness when he is,, a cishet maybe-aro upperclass man from britain. nothing against him really.

oh, and his fans tick me off because theyre ALWAYS inserting him into things and just. listen, i dont like having to scroll through tons of wilbur fics in the qsmp tag when im just trying to get to some badboyhalo or etoiles centric fics. the man has been on the qsmp for like less than a week of playtime and he's the fourth most tagged character on the qsmp ao3 tag.

not to mention he gets dragged into other plots like "what if this actually happened to wilbur!" or "yeah but what if wilbur was there!" or my most hated "cant wait till this character meets wilbur because i cannot enjoy this media (which is about finding and enjoying a bunch of ccs) if it doesnt have my guy in it!" like i get it, you have a hyperfix or a special interest, ive been there, but maybe then go watch stuff he's actually in, instead of forcing him into a plot he really isnt that big a part of anymore.

people also praised his dsmp writing when it was,, average at best. honestly i think bbh's and the eggpire's writing did way more for the dsmp because they actually tried to include other people in the plot as much as possible, instead of just writing for you and a few of your friends. imo, c!wilbur was an ok character, like, nothing bad, but nothing extraordinary for me. utah is death, ok buddy got it, wow, insane. yeah yeah we've all been to the soul sucking pit of utah, haha i get it. << this is just pure salt ignore that lmao

oh and lovejoy didnt fuckin invent political indie rock, people need to get over themselves on that one.

so yeah, its just a thing of, i cant really bring myself to like him. the brain goes wonky when he's around. kinda wish i didnt like, get angry when he's on screen but idk i cant really stop myself. nothing againstt you if you like him, ill usually tag anyy wilbur neg with #wilbur crit so if you wanna mute that tag. i dont post it too often tho.

[celestie0]

ellie did you hear about the solar storm thing thats been going around?

my friend gave me a detailed explanation abt what it is whats going to happen n all n honestly i am TERRIFIED.

like it genuinely seems so real that i cant even convince myself that this is another one of those silly things that go around each year

the fact that research for this solar storm has been going on since 2019 is ???? scary ????

makes it seem more believable tbh bc if it was not real it wouldn't have been going on for so long

IM SO SCARED 😭 genuinely cried when my friend was telling me ab this and she also said thwt we'll get to know ab when the solar storm is going to hit about 30 minutes before AND NOW IM PARANOID BC IT CAN HIT ANY MOMENT NOOOOO

and to top this off my mother told me that not many ppl will survive till 2027 i have no idea where she got that from but she scared me even more

this is so bad.

hii my love yess ive heard of the solar storm, i know that solar flares in general have been talked about a lot for a while now but i didn’t know that there was recent news about it!

i’m sorry you’re experiencing anxiety regarding it :””( yeahh ive heard that solar flares are near impossible to predict in advance for a lot of reasons, so that can definitely heighten the fear

hm idk if it makes you feel better but i remember nasa n other news outlets were talking about solar storms the exact same way about a year ago (i just remember telling my dad ab it cuz he works in aerospace n figured his company might’ve been discussing it) but nothing happened at all within the six month period that the news had been freaking out about LOL. i panicked a lot then too n my dad said it was just fear mongering lmfaoo 💀 (he’s kind of a cynic though haha) but yea i just bring this up because it’s not the first time this sort of news has been sensationalized

following any sort of space stuff can be scary for sure n it’s super easy to get lost in article rabbit holes that can really disrupt your quality of life in the present :( but i think there have been multiple instances of space phenomena that have been hyped up in media (even by a lot of reputable news outlets) that have not really affected daily life as much as it was thought to (like the never ending cycle of news about new asteroids, the whole aliens thing, etc)

i think it’s important to remember that the scientists that are actually behind the research are completely different entities than the people writing up articles about it online, so you always have to take the news with a grain of salt or maybe try to look into accounts from the actual researchers behind the findings (who, more often than not i’ve found, don’t even panic about their own research to the level of extent a lot of media ppl do online haha)

i’m not saying i don’t believe in the possibility of a solar storm or anything like that lol i just think there’s a lot of tendency in news these days to scare tf outta people for no reason

also correct me if im wrong but the largest danger of a solar storm would be disruption of radio & internet frequencies right? i thought they werent actually powerful enough to cause any sort of biological radiation harm ;0 loss of internet access would definitely be a weird thing to see and could put stress on more developed countries, but a lot of the world doesnt even have internet access to begin with so i’m not sure how much it will actually affect livelihood (i’m aware that it’d affect a LOT of things for sure, but i’m talking ab dangers like life or death situations, n i just cant imagine that being the case? but if you’ve looked into that more than i have n have more to share then lemme know i’m really curious)

sorry, im just bringing this all up in hopes it helps w your fears, n not to invalidate them! bc i totally get it, it’s scary stuff esp when it’s stuff you feel like you have no control over. but there’s a lot of things in life we have no control over, i think it’s best to just focus on what we can control n just try to enjoy today :)

thank u for ask bb <3

[punkshort]

Eeeek it’s so exciting seeing you answer questions about IKWYA, thank you for answering mine too!! I hope it doesn’t come across as interrogating you on the fic or anything haha, I (and I’m sure everyone else) am just super excited and cant wait to see how you take on this new series!! You’re such a talented writer and you honestly pull me into the story so effortlessly, a lot more so than most. I also love that you show Joel’s caring and loving side without making him into basically an OC! I think some writers either make Joel an emotionless potato, or yeah, write him as a different character altogether. But you just do it so naturally and so sweetly and you make him feel real and full of nuance but still the character we know him to be. I hope you know how fantastic you are and how lucky we are to have you in the tlou community!!

Not at all! I don't mind discussing it but I have to warn you, sometimes I have an idea of what I'm going to write and then an idea hits me in the middle of the night and I change my mind, or often times, as I'm writing, a new twist comes to mind and I change course. So take whatever I say with a grain of salt until it's actually published because my writing style is ✨chaotic✨ at best.

And thank you so much for such lovely compliments! My goodness! I am so flattered and pleased you enjoy my writing that much... especially when there's so many amazing authors in this fandom, I'm honored to be included. Truly.

Thank you so much for sending in so many asks! I'm honestly floored so many of you are so invested. I hope you like it!

[mausarchive]

📫 11 & 29!!! 💌

11. anything from your childhood you’ve held on to?

i did this in the other ask but i'll talk about something else i've kept, because i do have a lot of stuffed animals from when i was little. i have a couple of music boxes too. one is beauty and the beast themed and one is hello kitty, my nana used to collect me random knickknack bracelets and put them in the music boxes for me to wear when i visited her. i cant bear to get rid of them even though they have no purpose for me now haha

29. preferred pasta noodle?

OH NO I DID THIS ONE TOO uhhh i LOVE bowtie noodles. theyre so cute and kids love them so i love making them buttered noodles. my nana used to make me them too and i'd have them buttered and with a little bit of salt. my mom uses cavatappi to make her baked macaroni and cheese (so cavatappi and cheese lol) and i love those too

[ben-wisehart]

sorry for randomly sending this on tumblr (and also a few days after you asked for some reason?) but twitter is NOT suited for my rambly ass lol (and also i sometimes think tahini osn't everyone's fave even though a lot of people. do love it haha)

but please sometime try this as an addition w/ your breakfast: half honey half undiluted tahini, dip into it with some soft fresh bread like a brioche or smth. it's so nice. it's like our pb&j lol

everything else uses the standard recipe you might know: tahini, salt, a good amount of lemon juice, cold water (in other places like egypt they may add garlic or yogurt if they like the taste) - dilute it however much you like (<- like this you have to keep in the fridge) (and pretty much most tahini dishes are meant as dips with bread)

then you can have it on it's own as a side dish, as a sandwich sauce (esp with falafel/shawarma of course) or as a salad dressing

i second pip's kofta recipe, you can do it like the pic or we just lay it in a layer on the tray and have the potatoes cut in disks (tomatoes optional)

for people who like eggplants, you can either drizzle it on cooked (whole/cut) eggplant, or incorporate it into a dip like baba ghanoush

one of my fave dishes is msabbaha (or "deconstructed hummus") ("msabbaha" means "swimming in the sauce" lmao) - where you have a bed of hummus and add its ingredients (cooked chickpeas, tahini, olive oil) on top, and you can garnish with paprika and/or pine nuts and/or any hot sauce

tahini is a popular side dish (dip) with whole fish and with barbecque, with the latter you can eat it on it's own or (like i do) dip some flatbread into it, then use that to pinch a meat chunk off a skewer without getting your hands dirty! 😂

with the (white) fish, if you have leftovers of both the next day, you can shred the fish carefully into the tahini and have a new take on the dish slightly to the left haha

in the "acquired taste but my personal faves" category:

roasted/fried cauliflower florets just dunked in tahini, a lot of it

tahini and pomegranate molasses (or either/or) as a sauce drizzled on tongue or chicken liver if you like them

i havent tried making the sweet cinnamon bun equivalent thing but it looks nice! and there's also the whole world of "tahini as a sesame paste sub in asian cooking" that i haven't tried either!

i was about to say that buying halawa/halva is easier and better than making it, but i do have a caveat that im talking about a single palestinian brand ahahaha bc settlers tried to make it but none of the other brands are as good (oilier and less airy lol) so maybe do take a shot at it if you or palestinian immegrants near you cant get al-hilal 😄😄

so basically you can do anything you like with it, okay thanks for coming to my ted talk byeeee *runs away*

Omg thank you so much for this!!! Posting so my followers can also use these ideas

(Context is my mum bought a huge jar of tahini that neither of us really knew a lot of recipes for so I asked for some suggestions on twitter)

[gentil-minou]

Prev anon here! Thank you so much for the sugar, it is helping me calm down a bit.

Thing is I do think I am panicking so bad and freaking out because of the salt I am literally crying I have never been so upset I think?

Salt doesn't usually freak me out, But this salt was too much. And the person reblogging it was one of the most positive people I've ever seen And it was from a really bad salter who I just can't even stand and almost creeps me out I am almost in tears. I mean I shouldn't be this sensitive but the comments section- The comment section was so bad and oh my god I wish I hadn't seen it. I think the worst part is that I it wa done of my mutuals reblogging it - think that's what makes me so upset. I mean I shouldn't be, people are allowed to have their opinions but I almost feel...Like betrayed or something. I have never felt this sad or upset and mad and frustrated and oh god. The truth is I AM SCARED. I AM EXTREMELY TERRIFIED BY THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO HATE THE SHOW HERE IN TUMBLR, AND SOME OF THE SALTERS. MAYBE ARE THEY RIGHT? IS THE SHOW ACTUALLY REALLY BAD AND AM I MAKING A MISTAKE? WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE FOLLOW THE SALT TAG? WHY DOESN'T ANYONE ENJOY THE SHOW JDJDJSSSKSK I THINK MY FREAK OUT IS GROWING WORSE?? MAYBE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, MAYBE AM I BEING IGNORANT? WHY DOES THAT CERTAIN SALT BLOG HAVE SO MANY SUPPORTERS??HOW DO I STOP MYSELF FROM COMING ACROSS SALT THIS IS TOO BAD- I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT THAT INSTA POST WOULD HAVE CIRCULATED HERE ON TUMBLR TOO- WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE THINK MIRACULOUS IS MISOGYNISTIC???IT'S NOT, RIGHT?? I FEEL LIEK MIRACULOUS IS ANYTHING BUT MISOGYNISTIC-

SORRY IF THSI IS TOO JUMBLED I AM HAVING THSI NAUSEATIC FEELING AFTER SEEING WHAT I SAW AND I THINK I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS WITH SOMEONE IMMEDIATELY- (I AM ACTUALLY KIND OF SHAKING NOW-)

Listen, love? I need you to do a couple things for me.

First, I need you to take 5 deep breaths, so deep you can see your chest move up and down (but not to the point of pain), and count to 4 both when you inhale and exhale. Do that, then if it helps keep doing it until you feel the panic die down. Sometimes it helps to stare at something in the distance. If you feel your thoughts wander off, that's okay just kindly bring th back to counting your breaths.

If you finished and feel a bit calmer, then we can continue.

Because the reality is, people are allowed to have their own opinions. Even the salty ones. And that's okay.

Just because someone doesn't like the same things you do, it's okay because as long as you still do then that's all that matters, right?

Something we have to accept by being in this fandom is that there will be salt, but so what? For every salt post I surround myself with a hundred more that make me feel good. As long as I like the show, who the hell cares what other people think?

Have you blocked that original poster? Just block them, especially if you find their stuff triggering. That's what is in your control to do and you should do it.

At the end of the day, the only one who can monitor the content you see is yourself. If you find this stuff to be so triggering, then you might need to walk away. At least until it's easier to just move past it.

[bookishblogging]

🪐What In The World Is Warding?!🪐

Howdy! It’s your friendly neighborhood witch here: Let’s talk about warding!

Warding is any form of magick intended to protect a person/place/thing from a negative entity/energy

Warding is most often used in either a personal sense, or a spatial sense, let’s do a deep dive into what that actually means

SPATIAL WARDING ~~~~~

Spatial wards are put on SOMETHING or a PLACE/SPACE/NON HUMAN THING with the intention to protect it. This could be warding your room or entire house by contacting the egregore, this could be casting a circle when you are about to do a spell, etc etc. This is not the same as warding a piece of jewelry though, that goes into the next type of warding: Personal Warding

PERSONAL WARDING ~~~~

Personal wards are created with the intent to protect a person (most likely YOU, the practitioner). These are most often portable/wearable like jewelry or in some cases crystals! A lot of the time, you can create some wards to be both personal and spatial, in essence killing two birds with one stone

🪐 EXAMPLES OF WARDS 🪐

There are more than just these examples, but this is a great place to get started! This picture is all over the internet, and you’ve probably seen it before haha- nonetheless it’s still useful information! I am gonna go into detail about some specific ways to ward your space/self, but as always, witchcraft is a very personal thing and your practice is unique to yourself so these things may work for you, they may not! It’s all up to what you’re willing/able to do in your practice :))

ANYWAYS...ONWARD 

FIRST STEP TO CREATING A WARD: Cleanse!!!! You don’t want to trap any negative energy in your space when creating your ward. Cleansing will give you a blank slate to protect you or your space. 

SECOND STEP...ACTUALLY CREATING THE WARD: There are multiple methods to create a ward (as pictured above) but I will go over some easy, beginner friendly ones for the sake of time and my sanity. These will mostly be about spaces, but I will talk about enchanting things like jewelry on another post if that’s something y’all would be interested in...?

Incense Warding

This can be done with either incense or a water/essential oil blend if you prefer to not use incense (i personally vomit from the smell of smoke and incense is no exception...it’s quite a dilemma being a witch and not being able to use incense haha) 

Be it incense or a spray blend, you want to utilize herbs with protective properties, some common ones being: bay leaves, cinnamon, ginger, mustard seed, and salt 

If you’re warding an item, you can either smoke/spritz it with your incense or water/oil mixture and visualize the smoke/spritz encircling the item like a ball of light, protecting it from anything that would intend to cause it harm. (I suck at visualizing, I think i have the thing where you just cant visualize stuff, so instead of harping on my inability to think in pictures, I just focus on the intent of what i’m doing. it’s all the same, the visualization is just to help amplify intent. If you are already confident in your ability, you are okay to not visualize.) 

If you’re warding a space, it’s pretty similar. You start in one area of your house (or room), and move to the right, spraying the walls and doorframes, all the while visualizing a barrier being formed around the walls (again, hard time with visualizing won’t mess up your ability to ward, just focus on intent). Just keep moving right throughout the entire space, creating an outline of whatever it is you’re protecting. If you’re familiar with kitchen magick, a lot of the time you will be stirring the pot clockwise to represent the creation of good energy and progression, so we move right throughout the space when warding to create a strong ward that will protect from any and all unwanted energies. 

Sigil Wards

I will go more into sigils on another post, but you can easily ward a space with sigils! Create a sigil with the intent to protect (ie: creating a sigil from the phrase “my house is protected from all negative energies) 

Place the sigil in windows or on doorframes, if you want to keep it permanently there. You can use water, black salt, regular salt, your finger, whatever floats your boat. 

A funky way I like to use sigils when warding is to use them when I clean! I will be cleaning my floor and spray the cleaner/floor polish in the pattern of my sigil and then when I go over it with the mop, I am “breaking” the sigil, therefore releasing the energy into my house to protect it! I was never really told that this was a way to create a sigil and use it but I have found it’s worked and it’s really easy- esp if you’re in the broomcloset 🧹 

Spoken Wards

This can be a spoken thought or incantation of sorts that is created/uttered with the intention to protect your space/you

You can repeat this daily like an affirmation, walk around your space and chant, whatever floats your boat! 

Here is an example of a spoken ward: (this is utilized when walking past the representations of the elements in your home) 

“By (element) , I ward thee: Guard this space from all ill will and all those who wish me/us harm.”

THERE ARE PLENTY MORE WAYS TO WARD, THESE ARE JUST A FEW!

I recommend using MULTIPLE methods of warding (at least two) to really maximize the protection you have on your space

Alright lets talk about another important aspect of warding....

WARD MAINTENCE 

Wards can be temporary (casting a circle during a spell), or long term (a ward to protect your space) 

It’s important to regularly charge your wards, to keep them “up and running.” This can be with crystals, intent, incense, whatever your preferred method is

You also may need to take down your ward and place a new one up every so often; even the metaphysical can collect gunk. There isn’t really a timeline on this, just whenever you feel your ward needs to be re-done. 

OTHER IMPORTANT WARDING INFO

Thank you for sticking with me on this long informational post :)) 

Again, I really recommend using MULTIPLE wards as a little protection combo because protection is the basis of your craft. Putting up a ward is really important before you start any type of spell work or any magick for that matter. Protection is KEY! 

To dismiss a ward, you can go around your space counter clockwise (to the left) and visualize/have the intention that the energies you have created are “coming down” (there are other ways, this is what I prefer) 

Remember it’s always important to cross reference your information, for this post I used multiple sources I knew have been vetted by much more experienced witches than I am- but still! You need to make sure what you’re reading is credible

CITATIONS/SOURCES/MORE INFORMATION

Wards: Basics 

Warding Masterpost

Crash Course In Warding

Defend The Keep

Basics Of Warding

[prof-peach]

I’ve been thinking about this for the past few days; what kind of Pokémon would firefighters have? My first thought is water types, but I feel like a LOT of water types would have trouble in the intense heat of fire and may dry out (like Vaporeon or the Poli’s). Fire types would be fine, but there’s only a precious few that can learn water moves. Rock/Ground types could help with smothering, and Flying can try and blow the fire away, but none of those seem like they’d be good in the event of an apartment building on fire, for example.

Just wondering about your thoughts on this haha

Any fire department worth its salt will have a wide roster available. rock types who can hold up beams and ceilings while people and pokemon escape danger. Water types who work in pairs, one using its water on the other, who can get closer to the fires to target them. A strong water type will also have a far greater range, so they can stand further back from the immediate intense heat, and still douse the flames. Of course Ground types, sand and dirt can smother anything in large enough quantities. Flying types just fan the flames, and while some are great for recon, like the Talonflame line, who can handle intense heats, its not often wise to use them to blow fires away, but rather create vacuums with no air, in winds so fast the flames cant hold form and dissipate fast. This is good if theres fewer buildings around but devastating in the city.

We also don't talk about ghost applications at all enough in this field. Ghost types can get in and out of a building, without even being a solid matter. They can see just where and how many people are stuck, and pin point them for the other staff in record time, bypassing stairs, walls, doors, and debris. If they don't become solid, they can even learn to fly through flames without being touched and harmed by them. They can even, with many years of training, pull humans into other dimensions, so if a building is coming down, and someones stuck inside, they can pull them into....i'm going to call it the shadow realm, they take you there, and open a door back out to the real world in a safer place. It takes many years to master, but some pokemon demonstrate aptitude for this skill. Local Gengar have become beloved heroes thanks to their ability to do this, just the other day one was awarded a medal for its skills, saved several individuals from a burning building that came down hard. No fatalities, the humans and pokemon who came back from the shadow realm stated it was unnerving, but without it, they'd surely have died that day. We need to champion Ghost types more, they do not get the credit they deserve. Fire fighting is all about coordinated teamwork and collective efforts. Without one member of their tight knit teams, they may not manage their job so well, but they always use a collection of varying pokemon to aid. Theres even one fire department known for taking in ditto, each one able to change to a species best suited to the situation, making their adaptiveness incredible!

[hhawkeye]

why do you hate bj be specific

he replaced trapper (the love of my life) hes hot and sexy and husband and dad shaped and it kills me. his fat tits have me frothing at the mouth every time hes on screen and i cant do anything about it. his specific brand of joking and denial and refusing to acknowledge shitty situations by instead making his own Silly shitty situations happen (see: pouring salt in the sugar bowl because haha people getting salt in their coffee is funny and harmless and only inconveniences them for a moment before they too find it funny enough to take their mind off the actual literal hellish situation theyre in) makes me want to squeeze him like one of these stress toys

he has a dog named waggles. he is so tall and gaymasc and i get evil gender envy when i look at him. he is very literally the epitome of a 70s gay stereotype but hes twenty years too early for it and i’m seventy years too late. he is dog coded. any time hes even slightly mean to hawkeye i want to scratch his eyes out. every time he speaks i want to shut him up by ki**ing him you can decide if that says killing or kissing. he knows that anybody who’d wanna get everybody would wanna get hawkeye worst of all, but he doesnt go in for that sort of thing. he has a stupid ugly hat. he doesnt know how to knit. he makes plain black converse look sexy and cool even though i should only be thinking of teens writing emo lyrics on the white parts when i see them. that one time he hurt his wrist he didnt let hawkeye examine him even though hawkeye went and got his doctor bag. he broke mulcahys punching bag and was NOT sorry even though he said he was

[lostandfem]

hii feel free to ignore if this is invasive but i kinda need advice! i am still trans identified publicly but in the paat year come to understand myself as a woman again - yet i still feel agonised over the way my body looks. its so hard cos i dont want to be a man, i just wanna look like one, and i have these impulses like once a day when i consider starting T or binding again, if i see an actor or musician that i think is inspiring (i like a lot of female artists and make concious effort to engage but i just dont want to emulate them in the same way) 😐 i cant shake this at all. its not even that i think im Male inside so all the stuff about 'never truly being a man' doesnt help me get rid of these thoughts. neither does telling myself that i wont look like the males i idolise as i know multiple ftms in real life who pass amazingly and that has convinced me i could too. do u have any tips shaking this compulsion? i know hormones and surgery wouldnt be good for my body but its just not getting through

not invasive dw haha. ive had a similar feeling, and for me i think ive narrowed it down to feeling like my female body is going to be perceived a certain way. like for example, if you consider a male musician but then mentally create another musician who is exactly the same in all regards but is visibly female, it feels different. ‘female’ is taken into account as a personality trait almost. and i personally got tired of it and wished i could be considered in a neutral light for all my other traits without the modifier ‘female’ on top of it.

it helps to try to understand the logic behind your feelings because then you can try to counteract it. you cant do much for others considering your female body as a non-neutral thing, but you can try to teach yourself to view it neutrally and understand that other peoples views of it are wrong. when you look at your body, what beliefs about yourself arise? do you feel trapped? do you feel weaker? or try the opposite— if you had a male body, what beliefs about yourself would you have and how do they differ from what you think of yourself now? from there you can begin to tackle any negative connotations you associate with being female that act as barriers to you being happy in your body

thats just whats been working for me so far anyway. im not anything close to a therapist so take it with a grain of salt. hope i was able to help tho

[daadddysprincessss]

that’s impossible (this is a repost from my old blog)

pairings: y/n x jim mason x stepbro michael langdon

summary: you’ve been having weird, even daring dream about your stepbrother michael, but how could you think this way when your madly in love with Jim Mason ...? maybe it was the way michael made you feel - constantly on the edge of your seat and stressed ? or maybe it’s the way his eye dragged you in wanting more ??

little things: anything in italic is dreams !

warnings: stepbrother (which IS NOT related by blood)

i think im in love with my stepbro,

‘no, im in love with jim mason’ - you cant tell me otherwise i spoke to myself softly.

‘Eventually everything fades, even the brightest colours turns to grey’ - jims name melted into michael - but how?  you loved everything about jim - those ocean blue eyes that pull you into the deep end, his soft smile that makes you feel an instant comfort, and his hair - ugh those soft chocolate brown curls, his hair always smelt like salt water; but then there was his darkside, everything you hated but learned to love. tell me how michael crept into my mind, hes just such - ugh an arrogant asshole, the way he struts around the house thinking he owned the place, and the way hed deepen his eyes when you were talking to him - making it seem as if you owed him something, but then his blonde shaggy hair - you would think he was a laid back surfer, but no he was a douchey little fuck boy who would use any girl in a heart beat. michael did have a soft side (somewhat) - like at dinner with your parents he was so sweet with the soft glances and cheerful smiles - WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT MICHAEL HES YOUR STEPBROTHER YOU NEED TO STOP

“fuck fuck fuck” you screamed into your pillow - you were stressed and upset with yourself. “i cant do this anymore - i just cant.”

“cant do what?” Michael laughed - when the fuck did he get here - his tall lean body was leaning against your door frame with his arms crossed -

“excuse me? why would you even come in here?” you spat at him

“you sounded upset and it seemed funny” he smiled - 

ugh that devilish grin, yet it was so fucking hot - “its not funny but thanks, can you just fuck off please” you stood up and shot towards the door - you lifted your hand to slam the door but michael grabbed your wrist -

“now now, dont make daddy discipline you” michael snarled at you - his grip tightened on your hand 

“let go -” you pulled your hand away and rubbed your wrist - “goodbye michael” - you spoke sharply before slamming the door.

you grunted loudly and spun around - “boo” michael laughed in your face when you turned around

“HOW-” michaels lips collided with yours - 

“y/n” your mum touch your shoulder softly - “your gonna be late for your first day of college - come on, wake up sweetie”

your eyes shot open as your heart raced “what the fuck” you said breathlessly - “it was a dream?” you spoke softly

“what was a dream sweetheart” Michael stood at your door eyeing you up as your mum walked past him 

“nothing - please leave michael.” you shot out of bed and slammed the door. your heart was pounding, you were sweating “disgusting” you spoke softly to yourself. *buzz buzz* your phone light up - “jim!” you ran over to your phone 

“jimmy” you practically yelled

“cuddlefish - are you still able to pick me up for class, i was just getting worried cause i havent heard from you yet.” 

“fuck what time is it ?” you looked at your screen “we have 30 minutes jimmy, lots of time” - 

“haha okay, ill be waiting for you babe” 

“love youuuuuu” you sang to jim - you quickly hung up the phone and got ready. you grabbed jims hoodie and threw it on with your favourite pair of shorts - your hair was thrown into a messy yet slightly styled bun. you quickly ran down the stairs grabbed your bag with your books and headed out the door - there he was- “what do you want michael”

there he stood, tall, lean, shaggy golden blonde hair - he was in your favourite pair of skinny jeans he owned - ‘god he looked so good’ - “what ?? i cant tell my favourite step sister to have a good first day of college” his voice was laid back - it didnt sound like him.

“im gonna be late - but thanks” you shrugged him off 

“ill be quick then - since were going to the same place mind if i catch a ride?” he smiled from ear to ear - ‘ugh those pearly white teeth, and his perfect smile’

“uh - sure i guess, but were picking up jimmy and he gets front seat” you rolled your eyes

“thanks sis” michael laughed as he was already throwing his bags in the back seat beside him.

[oriigirii]

💞 MC is a Genshin Simp 💞

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{ AN: Omg! This is my first ask so thank you anon (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)/!! This is such a vibe too haha, I hope you like it! } Warnings: None [Maybe Refs and Chars you wont get if you dont play Genshin Impact] * Probably a bit OOC too *

Reader: Gender-Neutral [Default]

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)

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< Genshin Impact was a game that took the human realm by storm, with its open-world gameplay, its competitive PvE and aesthatic settings, it was truly something that captured you the moment the beta was announced. Although, as with any Gacha games, you weren’t only attracted to the world and its setting.

No no.

The characters were truly the main eye candy of the game. You’d been worried that when you had been sucked into Devildom, you wouldn’t be able to access the game due to, yknow, realm differences, but luckily that wasn’t the case thanks to Levi, and hence why the moment it dropped, you had been spending your life savings simping for characters on every banner.

Yknow theres handsome bois in devildom too... Theyre just kinda waiting for you to put your game down for a moment and kinda notice em ～((Φ◇Φ)‡ >

------

ฅ⁽͑ ˚̀ ˙̭ ˚́ ⁾̉ฅ Lucifer

He usually doesn’t mind you playing games

Although, He would’ve preferred if you didn’t cause you kinda need to focus on your studies yknow?

But hey he’s not stopping you

Usually you would stay with him as he works, but he can’t seem to focus with you constantly begging beside him

Small little ‘please’ would be heard every now and then, and a sudden look of disappointment would show on your face.

He tried to ignore it, even giving little cues for you to quiet down, like clearing his throat

You didnt seem to pick up the hint though

He was just about to ask you what you were doing in the first place that has you praying beside him (which is hella rude) but your scream of happiness has him a little more irked and kinda taken back

“LUCIFER! I GOT HIM! LOOK LOOK I GOT HIM!”

You show him the screen showing your pull results

The character held a giant claymore with bright red hair

Before he can get another word in, you snatch your phone back and just sigh as if youd just had a heavenly (ironic) experience and mumble

“I seriously love him, Im so happy...”

Bro same though, Diluc pls come home

You were truly one of a kind, because youve just managed to break the Avatar of Pride’s... well.... Pride.

Did he just get cucked by a man in a video game?

Truly outrageous.

He seems to scoff and holds back a bit of an eye roll as he tries to focus back on his work

But boy oh boy, his salt is high

“If you are going to be causing a ruckus MC, May i suggest you doing it with Levi instead, I have no time for such games. I dont see why youre so caught up in such a character anyways, he looks quite basic.”

His words were sharp, and that was enough to shake you out of your fangirl/boy mode.

You were literally ready to fight the first born, a literal fucking fallen angel, for dissing Diluc like that

like

how dare

But then you notice how he seems to avoid your gaze and a small little red tint was on the tip of his ears.

Lucifer wouldve wanted to see you that happy with him, but no, a game character steals that spotlight.

Angey.

Instead of being intimidated by the sudden coldness, you giggle and finally close your phone and set it aside

You can continue celebrating and bragging about it later, for now, you wrap your arms around his arm and give him a small smooch on the cheek, which definitely makes him blush a tad bit

“Awww Luci dont be like that, Yknow I love you more”

Potential apocalypse has been diverted

But Lucifer does smile the smallest of smiles as he sighs, finding it silly to really get jealous over such a small thing and says

“I love you too, my dear... but you do have to make up for distracting me from my work...”

Well you kinda deserve it, so it wasnt long before both his work and your phone had been ditched

( After a while you do kinda see him quite similar to Diluc and it just makes you smile everytime you think about it, seems you have a thing for the strict cold men huh?)

===

Σ(‘◉⌓◉’) Mammon

Why you simping for a fictional character when you already have him?!

He’s your first man!

Your homie!

“Yeah well hes my first 5* so can you blame me?”

S A D N E S S

But for real, this man is just so clingy

He has heard from Levi that you were playing a new game from the human world, and of course, he had wanted to see what it was about by watching you play.

But since it was quite grind-heavy gacha game, he grew a bit bored and asked you to come with him to hang out somewhere else, or even go to the casino and gamble his money away cause he just got goldie back

But no matter what he suggests, you were just so focused on your grinding.

He’d prefer a different kinda grinding right about now with how lonely he is, ya feel me?

But no, you still werent interested.

“Oi! Cmon MC, whats even so important about this?”

“I already told you Mammon, Im grinding for primogems from the event! Theyre gonna be gone soon and I just HAVE to get them! Ugh I swear to Diavolo, if I dont, Imma cry! I didnt get him on their first banner too... ugh!”

Wait no--

Cmon he doesnt want you to cry!

Mammon kinda stays silent for a bit as he watches you struggle to fight the monsters with your low level team, frustration growing on your face.

But as you finish, Mammon seems to snatch your phone

“Hey! whats the big deal Mammon?!”

“Shut up and show me where the store is geez”

Mammon’s demands kinda surprises you and you raise an eyebrow at him, but you do show where it was, and sit back for a while as Mammon just fiddles around with it. You werent sure what he was doing honestly, was he interested? Did you say anything that made him act this way? All you talked about the game was the gacha system so--

oh…

OH

“Mammon! Wait you dont have to---”

“There! I got you as much primo things, or whatever theyre called”

He already has tossed you your phone back and he crossed his arms, looking away as the red blush covers most of his cheeks.

You look at your phone and you honestly felt your heart speed up and stop at the same time at the amount of primos on your account, it was enough for a full 180 pull! If you dont get the limited character on the first 50-50, you have another shot!

You felt your own heart speed up and your face burn so hard, but you do mumble him a quick “But... But why though?”

“Cuz! If you start cryin’ Lucifer’s gonna beat my ass! Dont think I did it for you, you human! I just dont want him taking away Goldie again!”

“But I thought this was your gambling money, isnt it?”

“w-well!... I mean... Hmph.. Gachas kinda like gambling right?, I know Lucifers gonna hang me if he catches me in the casino again anyways, so I thought I might as well just do this... with you...or whatever...” Hes dying, help

But so are you!

Hes too fucking cute and you just glomp him and just hug him as tight as you can!!

Flusterred boi 100

But you do spend you afternoon on his lap, both of you rolling the full 180 in excitement, whether you get that boi/gal you simped for on the banner or not, you still were happy to spend some time with Mammon

He doesnt mind losing a bit of cash for you

but you do promise to pay him back (maybe with a few kissy)

But to be honest, Gacha probably will help him with his gambling addiction...

kinda...

He doesnt go to casinos anymore but he does whale with you now

Lucifer has such a mix feeling with these results.

But he still confiscates Goldie and your card on the end, yall need to chill.

====

ヽ(。_°)ノ Leviathan

He probably wasn’t even interested on the game at first

He already has enough games to play, and it just looks like another rip off of some other game he saw not too long ago with that elf looking guy

But when you came to him asking for his help to get the game, you bet your ass that he felt a switch click

Suddenly it was incredibly interesting!

You do share your interests to him almost immediately

By interests, of course i mean the peeps you simp for

The sexy ara ara in the library of mondstat, the pirate looking ass of the guards, the pirate looking ass’s brother thats a wine owner and still highkey reminds you of Lucifer, the demon slayer--- You were actually unsure if you should talk about Xiao but hey hes cool

You explain it all!

From their lore to their voice lines and whatever

But honestly what do you expect from the Avatar of Envy?

Of course hes gonna be a bit jealous! He cant compare to any of these characters! Hes not as witty as that eye patch man, hes not as sophisticated as that red head, hes not as flirty as that ara ara either!

As you go on, you notice that Levi was kinda... half listening....

It made you pout, but then, it made you worried

Uh-oh you know that look

its that, ‘im overthinking’ look

So to snap him out of it, you kinda grab his face as gently as you can

“Need Grimm for your thoughts?”

He flushes and he immediately looks away, but you usher him to look at you as you coo and ask him whats wrong

It takes a bit till he kinda explains to you how hes feeling

In your relationship, you both were practicing being more open with each other, hence why you were proud of Levi for saying it

but you did feel kinda sad and frowned as he finishes explaining

“You... feel jealous?”

“Ugh d-dont say it out loud normie....”

He covers his face with his arm and you just cant help but shake your head with a fond smile, but you do need to address this and comfort him.

“Levi... when you fanboy about Ruri chan, did you ever think she was better than me?”

Your question made him frown and look at you in absolute worry

Did you actually think that you were below Ruri chan?

Of course hes an absolute simp for Ruri but.. cmon

Now that he thinks about it, he does talk about her a lot doesnt he? oh no...

“MC O-Of course not! I love Ruri chan yes, but you... I... I Love... you more...” Levi exe do be dying

But you smile at his response and gently kisses his cheek

“I think thats sweet Levi... But thats how I am too... Youre still better than any of these characters, youre real and they arent, youre mine and I am yours~ Youre my personal 5 star!” You wink at him and Levi just dips

his heart couldnt handle the cuteness and he died, ladies and gentlemen

but for real he did pass out

Must be from all the blood on his head from the blush

But ah, he does get it, and after being showered with love from you, He kinda slowly got over his jealousy

its not immediate but with simple reassurances, you can manage to reel him in and have fun with you

He does end up enjoying the game cause he gets to spend time with you, and he gets to show off when events happen 

He also goes out of his way to memorize locations for materials for you, and when youre sick or busy, he pilots your account

true gamer

But ironically enough hed probably start simping for a character too and of course, you both start bonding over that, which just makes Levi absolutely happy

I wonder if hed simp for Barbara, she is an idol afterall like Ruri chan

Probably lowkey for now

Afterall she looks like a minor so-----

( I dunno i searched shes 16-18 lol )

But regardless, I can imagine you both just cosplaying each others fav characters too

Its a wack looking ship cosplay but yall just simp for each other cause of it, its pretty fun but the rest of the brothers just finds it hella weird

----

I only have energy for these 3 as always, Im sorry! But i promise Ill do the rest!! I hope you guys do enjoy, and Id love some feedback on the characters personalities cause I know they can be a bit Ooc, But feel free to send me an ask! Im pretty open lol 〜(￣△￣〜)

[daddynegandesires]

Secrets chapter 2

Summary: negans jealousy and temptation starts to escalate when he starts coming around trying to fit his way back into your life while also showing jack who the man of the house is but jack may also have secrets of his own no one knows about.

🛑Warning: fluff, major smut, saddness, jealousy, cheating,fighting 🛑

@jazzy1118

18+

Sitting on your bed with mascara tears streaming down your face holding onto old pictures of you,negan and ellie. Jack walks in and you quickly wipe your tears and shove the pictures under the pillow before he notices.

"Hey baby...whats wrong?" Jack slides in next to you

"Oh nothing haha" you sniffle and play it off all cool

"You looked beautiful lastnight...i realized i forgot to tell you" he said brushing a strand of hair behind your ear leaning in to kiss you softly. Jack resches inbetween your skirt automatically causing your legs to spread apart inviting him in. He reaches his other hand up your shirt grabbing your boob gently squeezing it in his hand you begin to quickly unbutton your blouse breathing heavier when the front door opens. You frantically pull your shirt back together terribly and tugging at your skirt when you exit the room to see negan and ellie standing in the living room.

" have you ever heard of calling or sending a text!!??" You cross your arms over your chest with a few buttons still loose allowing your black lace bra to peak out

"Well....looks like youve been busy" negan takes off his glasses sliding them ontop of his head

"I just thought id come by and cookout for ellie.." He grins pulling out steaks and ribs from a grocery bag.

"Oh! I brought wine too...your favorite"

"Cook out!?...wha" you followed behind him outside to the patio slamming the door behind you.

"So you think you can just walk into my house acting like you own the place saying you want to "cook out" for ellie!!??" By now you are almost inces away from him

Negan flicks on the grill and then grabs you gently by your face.

"I believe its my house too.....my name is also on the deed" he relases his hand and then walks past you back inside

You scoff to yourself as you stand there trying to process what is going on when jack comes outside.

"Im heading out for work...also whats up with him?"

"I..uh...he is cooking out for ellie i suppose" you said running your finger's through your messy hair

"I see.....well ill see you later, message me!" He gave you a quick peck on the cheek before hopping into his car and driving off. You sigh to yourself opening the door walking back into the kitchen seeing negan rubbing up the meat with spice's and ellie downing a bowl of chocolate ice cream.

"Negan! Seriously you gave her ice cream before dinner" you quickly took the spoon and bowl away from ellie before she could cram another spoonful in her mouth

"Whaaat let the kid live alittle...." He looks at ellie giving her a goofy face

You go over to dump out the ice cream in the trash can before dropping the dish in the sink next to negan you caught yourself looking at him his jacket was off and his sleeves were rolled up exposing his toned arms and rough hands. His black glasses resting on his face and his perfect salt and pepper hair. You always have had a thing for men a bit older than you and negan fit that image perfectly...jack was much younger than negan which you never would of guessed going for a younger man would be good for you.

"Mommy!!"

"Huh..yes honey?" Causing you to snap out of your thought's

"Can daddy stay the night we can stay up and was scawry moviessszz!!?" Ellies face lit up with excitment

"Oh. Sweetie im sorry but daddy cant stay the night" bending down to her level caressing her cheek

"Uuuuggghhhhh!! No fair!!" Ellie screams at the top of her lungs and starts flailing her arms

"Ellie! Do not act like that towards your mother!" Negans deep strong voice boomed in the kitchen almost making you weak at your knees. Ellie ran off to her room and slammed the door.

"That sassy girl" negan said looking at you through the top of his glasses

"Thank you...." You sighed exhaustedly while popping the cork off of the wine bottle and filling your cup up

"Mmmm...." Swallowing the sweet red wine feeling it flow down your throat

"So....you and younger guys huh?" Negan chuckled while washing his hands

"Something new...nothing wrong with that" you said taking another sip of your wine

"thought you had a fetish for older men....whats it called? Daddy issues"

"I guess you could say that...." Pouring more wine into your glass

"Sure sure..." Negans voice died out as he walked off to the bathroom

Negan came back into the kitchen grabbing the tray of meat outside and slapping it on the grill. You followed behind him wine glass in hand.

"So...was it you that told ellie to ask me if you could stay the night?" Raising an eyebrow

"Shouldnt you go get another glass of wine" negan chuckles

"Ya know...your cooking was always the best" chugging down the rest of your glass

" i think the wine is starting to talk haha" negan closed the lid to the grill folding his arms over his chest

---------

I was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen while ellie and negan were snuggled up on the couch watching friday the 13th together. Hearing negan be playful and caring with ellie really makes your heart happy. A part of you wishes things could have been diffrent between the two of you that is your babygirls father of course you love the both of them but being with negan just isnt in your future right now.

"Mommy come in here!"

You finished putting dishes away when you walked in there and sat down by negan he kept looking over at you grinning while ellie jumped at the scary scenes with jason Voorhees.

"So...hows the team going?"

"Good...good the boys are a handful" negan chuckled

"You were always a great coach you really pushed those boys to do great things" giving him A sweet smile

Talking about school with negan was always a touchy topic. He runs a basketball team at the local highschool......thats also where he was cheating on me with one of the english teachers.

"She is out like a light... My sweet girl." Negan was running his fingers through ellies long red hair when he looked over at you realizing you had fell asleep on his shoulder too. Negan picked up ellie and took her to her bed and tucked her in when he came back you were slightly awake.

"Thank you..." You said tiredly

"For what baby..." He said in a low deep voice

"For dinner and taking ellie to bed...its hard doing it alone sometimes..." You began to feel really vulnerable and kinda felt unsettling with negan calling you baby

"Jack should be home soon he gets off late.." You raised up off the couch

"You want me to leave...." Negan asked with puppy dog eyes

"Negan....you have to go im sorry"

"Baby....you know i never meant to hurt you" negan pulled you back down to sit on the couch

"But you did.....what were you thinking....you ruined everything" you were a bit tipsy from the wine and your emotions were just flowing out of you

"I love you negan! And you threw it all away for some fucking teacher at your school!!" You began shoving him

"All you care about is yourself you are so fucking full of yourself...you think you are so fucking amazing!" Now gripping onto his shirt hitting him in the chest he quickly pulled you into a tight hug and you began crying uncontrollably onto his shoulder soaking his tshirt.

"Shhh....im here now i promise you i will do anything..i want to be back in ellies life full time again i miss my girls" negan started to get all choked up holding back tears

"I...i cant right now negan its too soon im still hurting so bad.....im trying to move on from this" wiping the tears away from your eyes

"I understand.....im never going to let you down again all i want is for you and ellie to have a good life even if im not in it"

He stood up pulling you with him he took you to the bedroom and layed you down in bed taking your shoes off for you and tucking you in before jack got back.

"Goodnight" he kisses you on the forehead and leaves

---------

You woke up to ellie jumping and screaming on your bed you looked over to see jack sleeping next to you rubbing at his eyes.

"Good morning beautiful" he leans over and kisses you

"Goodmorning" you chuckled

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Ellie jumped onto you

"Hi sweetheart mommy sees you" you squeezed her tight in a hug before getting up out of bed

Jack had already gotten up and hopped into the shower when his phone began to ring on his bedside table you eagerly went over and looked at who it was. A girl named Melissa was calling him you just brushed it off and joined him in the shower.

"Hey...." Slipping off your panties and hopping into the shower with him

"Whoa...hey" jack said shocked

You grabbed him by the face and began kissing him hard feeling the hot water stream down your back. He moved his hand down between your legs taking one finger and slowly slipping it inside of you moaning out gripping onto his dick starting to slowly pump it back and forth feeling it grow long in your hand. Before you knew it he flipped you around ramming his cock into you pumping back and forth into your dripping wet pussy. His grip grew tighter on your hip as he started going faster and faster untill you felt an emptyness from him pulling out.

"Im hopping out im gonna let you finish up in here" he slapped your ass and then hopped out and closed the bathroom door behind him

"What a disappointment....." You whispered to yourself as you scrubbed shampoo through your hair knowing that negan would of never left you hanging like that and would of lasted way longer. Turning off the water you coulf faintly here jack laughing and talking to someone over the phone you quickly dried off and opened the bathroom door.

"Who are you speaking to?" You asked slipping on some clothes

"Ohh just a coworker nobody really" he said putting his phone into his pocket and sliding his tie on leaving the room

"Okay then....." You said to yourself

Slipping your shoes on you walked into the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee before jack headed off to work. Jack seemed super eager to leave for work today you just brushed it off assuming it was going to be a busy day for him at the office. He kissed you goodbye and took ellie with him to drop her off at daycare. It was just you alone in the house today which meant housework....gross.

You tied your hair up in a bun and began gathering your cleaning supplies you connected your phone to the bluetooth speaker blasting old rock songs. You were down on your hands and knees scrubbing at the floor in your short shorts when you were greeted by two feet infront of your face. You slowly looked up at who it was and it was negan with a huge dirty smirk on his face.

"This all for me doll?" He bit at his lip

"Oh....uh i planned on cleaning house today while everyone was out" you said shyly not realizing you were still on your knees

"I like you down there...on your knees" he slwoly chuckles

"Oh! Sorry....you cant just keep letting yourself in negan..." You quicly shot up to your feet

"You need me to help with anything?" He walks into the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee

"Ugh....The grass needs mowed......" You answered while wiping down the living room table

" jack doesnt mow grass?" Negan began laughing

"Negan...dont" standing there with your hands on your hips you sprayed him with the water bottle

"Hey!.....im just saying i figured young business boys couldnt mow grass anyway" negan walked outside and started up the pushmower.

An half and hour has passed and you finally finished the housework inside. You peaked out the window to see negan finishing up yard work...his shirt was off and he was all sweaty then jack suddenly pulls up causing you to stop gawking at negan.

"You always mow peoples grass" jack called out to negan getting out of the car

"Well, today i do. And maybe even next time...your girlfriend asked me to" negans jaw begins to flex

"Oh really...well" jack rubs at the back of his neck annoyed

"Dont think for a second that you have this all figured out......just setting some ground rules" Negan leans in towards jack and sternly says

Jack glared at negan as he walked past him to go insdie the house.

"Hi sweetie!" You greeted jack with a peck on his cheeck before stepping outside to speak with negan.

"I think you need to go...." You softly said to him trying not to stare at his sweaty toned bare chest

"Cmom doll.....things were getting fun. Jack is really starting to take a liking to me" he chuckles sliding his tongue across his bottom lip

"Negan....this isnt a game" you said picking up the gardening tools and taking them to the garage

"But i like games....and i always win" negan said in his cocky voice following behind you

You slammed down the shovel on the work bench in the garage before you knew it negan flipped you around lifted you up and and sat you ontop of the bench crashing his lips into yours he slid in between your legs grabbing a fist full of your hair yanking your head back as he began biting at your neck.

"Negan...." You moaned softly

"God i miss you moaing my name..."

"N....negan stop" it was so hard to resist him

"I want to have another kid with you....i want to fill myself insdie of you.....please baby" he tugged at your hair harder causing you to moan louder

The hairs on the back of your neck shot up after hearing what he had just said to you. You wrapped your legs tight around his waist and pulled him into you kissing him roughly biting and tugging at his bottom lip. You couldnt control yourself your body was weak negan always knew the right things to say. Negan took his two fingers pulling your yoga shorts aside to his surprise you weren't wearing any panties his finger began to play with your now swollen sensitive clit causing you to whimper out. He sucked on his finger making it wet before bringing it back to your clit gently flicking it faster and faster.

"Negan...im gon-

"(Y/n)...are you in here" jack called out from around the corner of the garage

"Oh shit!" You whispered to yourself before hopping off the work bench approaching jack

"Hey...im going to be going out of town on a business trip soon"

"Oh....well how soon?" You asked curiously

"Like...tonight soon" he quickly stated

"Oh...i see" your voice lowered

"I have to go baby i will keep in touch with you!" He kissed you before slow jogging to his car and leaving

A part of you didnt feel good about jack leaving for a "business trip" if thats really what it was.....something seemed off with him like he was hiding something. You stood from the garage watching him drive down the road untill you couldnt see his car anymore.

"Business trip huh....." Negan questioned walking up beside you

"Yeah...i suppose so" you said zoning out

Negan begins to chuckle and walk past you to his car.

"Wait were are you going!?" You yelled out to him

"Have to go pick up our daughter from daycare" negan calls out from the driver side

"Wait up im coming with you!" Jogging up to his black 1969 camero and hopping in the passenger seat

-------------

You,ellie and negan were back at the house when you were in the bedroom freshening up when you noticed jack had left his laptop on the dresser. Curiously you walked over and popped it open the screen automatically came on to his emails the very top email read from Melissa.

Hey jack we have that meeting tonight dont forget!😊 im also wearing that little tight dress you love.

You read the message over and over again the words ringing in your head making you feel sick to your stomach you slammed the laptop shut your body shaking full of rage and a adrenaline not knowing what to think or how to feel anymore. You just lay back on your bed zoning out up at the ceiling.

The door to the bedroom opens and its negan with a dirty smirk on his face looking at you layed out on the bed you just want to forget everything you want to feel numb you want to be made to feel dirty...

"Hey..." His deep tone giving you goosebumps

"Fuck me.....i want you to fuck me like the slut i am" you sternly said to him

Negan swiftly ripped his shirt off and yanked down your shorts spreading your legs apart bringing his tongue to your pussy licking your sweet folds brining his tongue down to your opening and all the way back up to your clit teasing you. You begin to grind up against his face while he pumps his cock hearing him moan only made you even more wet. He pulls his mouth away and flips you over slapping you on the ass hard the sting of it felt amazing he spanks you agains and a again before he enters his tip inside of you. Gripping onto the the bedsheets you have almost forgotten how big his cock is streching you open to fit perfectly insdie of you.

"Oh fuck.....god its so tight! You dirty fucking whore" he grunts slowly sliding more of his cock into you pulling your head back by your hair

"I miss you....i want you to fuck me hard..." You begin to rub your clit

Negan starts pumping his cock in and out of you his cock slowly swelling up inside of you and you squeeze down on him feeling all it all. He begins to move faster and faster leaning his face down to yours grabbing onto your throat squeezing it to let you feel that perfect high.

"Fuck...i...i cant keep going much longer" he starts fucking you faster and faster

"I want you to cum in me....please..i want your cum inside of me"! You beg

He lets out a load moan as he finishes inside of you and kisses you hard on the lips before pulling out letting his cum pour out of you all over the bedsheets. Negan pulls up his jeans as he hands you a towel to clean yourself up. You havent felt that amazing in awhile so relaxed and burnt off some built up rage

"All you have to do is ask and im here...." He whispers to you before leaving the room to go check on ellie. You get up from the bed to go take a shower.

"What am i doing......." You say to yourself

"Im so fucking stupid...." You begin to cry and sit with your knees pulled up to your chest in the tub feeling like a peice of shit after what you had just done. You are playing with negans emotions and stabbing jack in the back...what kind of girlfriend and mother am i.