#but i can’t go get anything because i don’t think this counts as essential during the strike

[t4tstarvingdog]

trying to find the metaphysical vegetable that may bring me less despair

[imsorrythatimweird101-blog]

**Using gateway tapes for void state*

Many people (especially Tumblr, I see y'all) are really interested in the void state. Me too honestly but here's the information that I got about the void state through the gateway tapes.

**By One-lawfulness**

“Glad to see others here who also use the gateway tapes. I'm starting to believe we'll 1 you can shift with them but more so F15 is essentially the void state. It seems they are described the same way.”

“ body asleep/ mind awake is indeed F10. However the void state from what I read is when your pure awareness. You don't feel the body, you can't see, hear, touch, etc. There is no body at all your simply awareness. There's a post I believe in one of the shifting groups where someone linked and reposted a Twitter post where someone went into detail on what is and isn't the void state. All I know is the void state while it shouldn't be hard to reach isn't as simple as some think. But it makes sense since it seems shifting, manifesting, etc is all instant from it.

This should link to the post

https://www.reddit.com/r/shiftingrealities/comments/18swmdp/definitive_guide_to_the_void_state/?share_id=1dj52vByrbmI3Q7rNmULO&utm_content=2&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_source=share&utm_term=

Well they say the focus levels are different for everyone but there are some general guidelines to it. Some where someone linked a page with a brief description of each focus level and when you read F15 I think or maybe 12 it's described as a void.

But if your looking for manifesting it seems some say you can do that in F10, 12, and 15 but I assume it's easier the higher you go.

(It's F15)

If I find the page with the focus level description I'll link it also

Found it

https://www.monroeinstituteuk.org/focus-levels/

Personal experience

what's recommended is once you get there the first thing is to manifest being able to enter it easily. Then from there do as you wish. That could work. I assume using it along with LOA is a great combo to help get into the void state the first time. When I was first trying the void state before using the gateway tapes I was in F10 essentially and couldn't fully go into it.

I stayed with F10 for a while but realized I was holding myself back because F10 wasn't hard to enter and I was saying I needed to master it first.

**By Beautiful_V**

F10 is SATS. SATS is the mind awake body asleep, you repeat a scene to mnaifest but that isn’t SATS it’s the state you do that hence state akin to sleep. You can manifest all the time using it! Instead of affirmations (lullaby method) I visualize until I fall asleep in this state. The trick is you can’t be too tired or too awake. Or even better just do it during a nap never takes me more than 3 days.

**Beautiful_v manifesting method**

“My routine”

-Do Wim Hof breathing technique

-Have theta waves immediately playing afterwards

-Count to whatever gets me to floaty feeling at first it was 500, now it’s 200/300 when you lose count just go back to the nearest 100th so you don’t fall asleep

-when I get the floaty feeling it means I’m about to fall asleep so affirm or visualize desired results.

-fall asleep in the wish fulfilled there will be no time for you to doubt because you’ll be too tired

-do this for 3-5 days it works in less depends on your beliefs but I always say 3 days because that’s what I read from Neville so I adopted that mindset !

**Big_suggestion9**

“Yes F10 is considered the void state”

Background: he has his own YouTube channel and is currently on wave 3 tape 6! He's personally like a mentor to me because I ask him about stuff. This is what he personally told me.

He's experience

https://youtube.com/@TheGatewayExperience?feature=shared

**My opinion**

Everyone is right in this discussion. Gateway tapes are based on personal experience. **No matter what, you need enter F10 for anything. Shifting, astral projection, void state. F10 void state or not. To achieve anything you need to achieve F10!**

**What do you recommend?**

You want to go into a void state? Then finish gateway tapes for F10 (gateway 1). Then do F12, after MASTERING everything. Go to manifest tape and affirm that you can go to void state instantly or whatever affirmation you want. Simple as that

**PLEASE READ**

(All credit to them, I did remove some digits from the username. Please do not contact them! I don't want to have a bunch of people flooding their Dms. If you have questions about it. Ask me and I will message them personally if it's that's okay. THANK YOU!)

[fluentmoviequoter]

Favors and Broken Promises

Requested Here!

Pairing: David 'Deacon' Kay x journalist!fem!reader

Summary: When you begin receiving death threats while writing an article on a dirty cop, Deacon Kay reluctantly agrees to protect you. He makes the situation worse before it gets better.

Warnings: angst to fluff; non-descriptive fight scene and injuries. the detective and dirty cop's names are a somewhat obscure book reference

Word Count: 3.0k+ words

A/N: I didn't proofread this, but I'll be back soon to do so!

Picture from Pinterest

Masterlist Directory | Deacon Kay Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

Deacon is attempting - and failing – to enjoy his day off. When his work phone rings, he sighs before answering.

“Sergeant Kay,” he greets, hoping this will be quick.

“Deacon, this is Detective Jeff Sherman.”

Smiling, Deacon is pleased that it’s not a SWAT call.

“What can I do for ya, Sherman?” he asks.

“I need a favor.”

“Anything for an academy classmate. Couldn’t have survived without you,” Deacon replies.

“It’s a big favor, Deacon. Big enough that if you say no I don’t have anyone else to ask.”

“What have you gotten yourself into? This LAPD business?”

“Yeah. It’s for a case I’m investigating. Dirty cop working in the academy.”

“LAPD academy? For how long?”

“Started around the time we were there.”

“We would have seen it, wouldn’t we? Is there any truth to the claims, Sherman?”

Sherman sighs, and Deacon isn’t prepared to hear, “You didn’t know to look, Deac.”

“Tell me what you need.”

“I’ve got a friend, a journalist investigating the cop, and she needs protection. She started receiving death threats last week, and she was being blackmailed before that.”

“Why call me?”

“It would be off the books. Our history and your time in private security make you the perfect choice to keep her safe while we find this guy, get to bottom the threats.”

“Of course. Like I said, Sherman, anything for you.”

✯✯✯✯✯

Investigating a dirty cop in the Los Angeles Police Academy isn’t as easy as one might think. After years in investigative journalism and a brief history in the criminal justice field, you found yourself drawn to telling the stories of the people who need justice the most but can’t get it for themselves. This particular story caught your attention because you know exactly what these young women are dealing with.

Walter Greener has been harassing, blackmailing, and assaulting female recruits since you were in the academy years ago. His history of mistreating women and the fact that he’s still at it with no record of any reprimands makes you eager to expose the truth.

You were likely one of the first. Greener harassed you constantly, and when he grew bold enough to assault you on numerous occasions, putting his hands on you or getting rough in the locker rooms after training, you began considering dropping out. Letting the actions of one man dictate your life seemed ridiculous, and you vowed not to quit without good reason.

When the first letter demanded something in exchange for your safety, essentially asking for a piece of your soul to keep your life, you knew you couldn’t keep going on the track you were on. You pulled away from your friends and family before dropping out and moving. During this time, completely alone, you began studying to become a journalist, refusing to let other women’s stories go unheard. Your classmate, Jeff Sherman, tracked you down and demanded to know what happened, able to see something that no one else could.

Years later, when you learned that Greener was not only a cop but was working in the academy, you had to return to the heart of Los Angeles and find the entire story; the good, bad, and ugly. Now that you have enough evidence, both past and present, you’re ready to write your article. There’s more than enough to get him fired and charged with harassment and assault if anyone else is willing to testify against him. The moment you began preparing the story, a death threat appeared in your email inbox. Within a few days, they were being delivered straight to your door.

The only relationship that survived your forced exit from the academy was with Jeff Sherman, so you called him and told him everything. He jumped to action, promising to find him and keep you safe. Believing him, you continue working on the story, unwilling to let Greener scare you away again.

✯✯✯✯✯

“This woman have a name?” Deacon asks.

“You’re not gonna like it,” Sherman says before telling Deacon your name.

“Are you kidding me? No way, Sherman.”

“You already agreed, Deac. C’mon, man, do it for me?”

Deacon pinches the bridge of his nose, wondering how he went from being suddenly abandoned by you to being responsible for your safety. While you were in the academy, you dated Deacon for several months. He was happy, and things were getting serious, and then, out of nowhere, you started pulling back before disappearing completely. You dropped out of the academy, and Deacon had to accept that he’d likely never see you again. You broke his heart without giving him any idea about what happened. Even today, he is hurt and angry that you didn’t talk to him about the unknown issue. 

Unaware of how you were forced to pull away from him and the career of your dreams, Deacon has remained clueless about the blackmail and harassment that targeted your personal life. Each threat included your family and friends, including your cop friends and Deacon himself.

You and Detective Sherman only stayed in touch because he realized something was going on with all of the women and found you, cornering you for answers after your disappearance. 

Deacon already agreed and won’t go back on his word, but he really doesn’t want to see you again. Doesn’t want to be that close to you, responsible for you, any of it. He was pissed when you left, and he’s still so angry and hurt that he can’t imagine letting you walk into his life, his house, without at least providing a few answers. The idea of someone threatening to kill you, however, makes it harder to say no (if he could).

“You said death threats?” Deacon asks. “Are they bad?”

“They weren’t at first. Progressively, yeah, they’ve gotten graphic and detailed. The blackmail was rough too, though. Greener knows a lot about her.”

“Wait, Richard Greener? From the academy?”

“Right, you didn’t know, I’m sorry. That’s who the article is about. He’s still harassing and assaulting young girls in the academy and she’s trying to get to the bottom of it, get him fired or indicted.”

Deacon wants clarification on the ‘still’ aspect of Sherman’s statement but decides that getting close to this is a bad idea. It’s a job, nothing more, so he can’t let you get under his skin. The anger and hurt are as powerful as they were years ago, so Deacon will keep you alive and then watch you walk away again.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Why won’t you tell me who my bodyguard is, Sherman?” you ask, approaching a back door.

“Because you wouldn’t have come,” he admits while knocking.

The door opens, and you find yourself face-to-face with Deacon Kay.

“Hi,” you whisper, shocked to see him.

He ignores you, looking at Sherman instead. “Check for trails?”

“Of course, Deac. We weren’t followed. Thanks for your help.” He looks between you to add, “Don’t kill each other.”

Sherman walks away, and Deacon enters the house, leaving the door open for you to carry your bag inside.

“Guest room is the second door on the right,” he says, his back to you.

“Thanks,” you reply. “I’m sure you didn’t want to do this, but I appreciate it.”

“Oh, yeah, I just live for protecting people who intentionally piss off the wrong people with their second career choice of journalism. Because writing will change so much.”

You try to ignore his hurtful jab, opting to find the guest room instead of staying close to Deacon. He’s already forgotten this is supposed to be a job, letting his emotions control him. When you reemerge a few hours later, he wordlessly slides a plate of food to you.

“Thanks.”

“Feel free to throw it away if you suddenly decide you don’t like it, since you seem to enjoy that,” Deacon snaps, taking his plate into his room and closing the door.

“I think I might prefer the death threats,” you say to yourself.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Luca, you don’t get it. She left me, took part of me with her,” Deacon says quietly, pacing as he asks for advice.

“Sounds like she may still have it,” Luca offers. “Maybe give her a chance to explain. Have you talked to her yet?”

“Um- sort of. Nothing civil though.”

“Deac,” Luca sighs. “You can’t attack her for something she did back then and expect her to feel safe, for one, but that’s also no way to move on, man. At some point you just gotta let go and find something else.”

“You’re telling me to forgive and forget?”

 “I’m telling you to remember that neither of you are the same people you were back then. Give her a chance, and maybe be a little respectful of the fact that the man who destroyed her life is threatening to take it.”

“Thanks, Luca.”

Deacon ends the call and exits his room, noticing your door is closed. He sees your shadow move in the light under the door and decides that Luca’s advice can wait a day because his hurt feels brand new.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Is that wise?” Deacon asks, walking into the kitchen the following morning. “Isn’t writing what got you into this?”

“Not exactly,” you answer, completing your outline.

“Well, it’s what got me into this, and it’s not my dream vacation, so maybe don’t do anything to make the situation worse, if you can manage that.”

You nod slowly, sad that Deacon seems stuck on what you did in the academy. If he can’t move on or at least give you a chance to explain after all this time, then it’s probably not worth trying, you think.

Deacon notices the sad, misty look in your eyes as you continue typing but exits the room before anything else happens. He’s not in the mood to give you pity or feel empathetic toward you; you got yourself into this situation, but you also drug Deacon into it.

Throughout the rest of the day, you don’t even react to Deacon’s jabs and outright mean comments. Whenever he sees you, you jump as if you didn’t know anyone else was around, are lost in thought, and ignore him, or stare longingly out the window. Even after stumbling upon you crying at two different times, he keeps pushing you, letting the past impact his current treatment of you. Deacon thinks you don’t seem to care, so why should he?

By the end of the first day, you refuse to meet Deacon’s eyes and try your hardest to avoid him. Deacon notices, of course, and realizes that something in your past must be affecting you, maybe even the same thing that made you leave him. Everyone seems to think Deacon needs to move on, but he’s not the only one.

✯✯✯✯✯

A few days into your nightmarish stay with Deacon, he wakes up in an especially bad mood, which shows in his snarky comments and low-aimed insults.

“Couldn’t make it as a cop so you sit behind a computer and judge those of us that answered the call to serve and protect,” Deacon mutters.

Tired and unable to take Deacon’s – for lack of a better word – verbal abuse for a moment longer, you snap. “Well, I am so sorry that I was harassed and assaulted so often that I didn’t feel safe anywhere, not even with you! Dropping out and pulling away from everyone I cared about was my only choice, and it hurt me just as much as it hurt you, Deacon, but I’m not trying to make you feel like a monster for letting me leave and not noticing that Greener was putting his hands on me every time you looked away!”

Deacon’s eyes are wide as you continue, “And if the panic attacks and trust issues get to be too much, I’ll just leave again, because I think anything would be better than sitting in this house, with the man who is supposed to be keeping me safe but instead is making a bad situation a whole lot worse.”

With your emotions raging, you can feel the panic attack building in your chest, and you storm away before Deacon can witness that level of vulnerability.

Once he’s alone in the living room, Deacon begins piecing together all of the little signs he missed before, growing more and more determined to make it up to you. From the academy to this moment, he has a lot of hurt to mend, but he can help you now, even if he didn’t back then. Your situation requires a reminder that there are good, trustworthy cops; despite his recent behavior, Deacon is one of the good ones.

✯✯✯✯✯

Deacon knocks softly on your door, and you harshly rub the tears off your cheeks before answering.

“I’m so sorry,” he says when you come into view. Staying in the hallway, Deacon holds his hands before him, his genuineness evident in his gaze and body language. “I’m here with you and I will protect you, I promise.”

You nod, and he sends you a small smile before retreating into his room. Your heart feels a bit lighter, and Deacon’s does, too.

✯✯✯✯✯

Over the next few days, Deacon’s heart begins healing. He’s casually protective, gently moving you out of the way when you’re blocking something he needs, calmly asking you to stay away from the window, and refusing to let you out of his sight for too long. When you spend too much time in the shower, Deacon knocks and asks if you’re okay. Your responding laugh makes Deacon smile for the first time in too many years.

Deacon does more than a bodyguard should, with evident kindness and concern underlying each of his movements and commands. When he speaks, his words are nearly parallel to his previous comments.

“What are you writing?” he asks when he finds you curled on the couch with your laptop perched on your knees.

“Working on the article,” you answer carefully.

“I’ve read some of your pieces. You write on important topics in a way that makes them relatable. That’s admirable.”

Later the same day, he encourages you to keep writing when you mumble that it feels pointless.

“Even if you help one more girl, isn’t that enough?”

He even walks you to bed, holding the door open as he apologizes again. “And I didn’t mean what I said – any of it – but especially the part about you not being able to be a cop. We both know you were on track to be the best of us. But what you’re doing now is just as important.”

“Still can’t help but feel robbed,” you admit. “He took everything I loved.”

Glancing up at Deacon, you think he understands your meaning when he smiles.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Sergeant Kay,” Deacon says, answering his phone. “I’m off this week… How bad is it?... Yeah, I’ll get right back to you.”

“You should go,” you say, looking over your laptop. “Sounds like they need their best.”

“It’s a major hostage situation, and they only called because it’s urgent. I shouldn’t leave you, though, they can find someone else.”

“Deac,” you call. “I’ll be okay for a little while. And I will call if anything happens, or I get worried or just want to talk. I promise.”

Deacon reluctantly agrees, gathering his things as he calls his team back and tells them he will meet them at the scene. As he leaves you, he feels like something is wrong, out of place, but maybe that’s just because he misses you after spending so much time together.

✯✯✯✯✯

Something scratches across the front door, and you’re immediately alert. It hasn’t been long enough for Deacon to return, so you rush to his room, but the front door slams against the wall before you can escape behind another locked door.

“An article about me?” Greener asks. “I’d be flattered if I didn’t know exactly what kind of woman you are.”

“Now, I’m the kind of woman that you can’t intimidate.”

“Intimidate?” Greener laughs as he cracks his neck. “We’re way past that, don’t you think?”

You step back as Greener lunges, glad you continued training after dropping out of the academy. You’re still a good fighter, and Greener underestimates you because you’re a woman. While Deacon deals with a tiring afternoon of saving hostages, you win a tiring fight.

Car doors close in the neighboring driveway, and an exhausted and injured Greener rushes out of the broken front door. You don’t want to call Deacon, not because you don’t trust him but because you know he will blame himself. Regardless, you dial his number and lean back against the wall.

“Hey, what happened?” Deacon answers.

“Uh, Greener broke in. I’m okay… mostly okay. We fought but he got scared off,” you answer softly.

Deacon hangs up, rushing home and patching you up. He covers your scrapes and bruises, apologizing as he goes.

“I will never put you in this situation again,” he promises as he secures the last bandage over your split knuckles.

“Stay by my side?” you ask, offering your less bruised hand.

Deacon takes it with a soft touch as he answers, “Through it all.”

✯✯✯✯✯

Deacon keeps his promise, staying by your side through the trial, the mixed backlash and praise over the article, and perhaps most surprisingly, your sudden fear of being alone again.

Standing by his door with your bags in tow, you can’t cross the threshold.

“You don’t have to go,” Deacon repeats. “Stay as long as you want. I’m by your side, remember? There’s nothing to worry about here. Other than me getting attached to you and clingier.”

You smile, glancing at the door before stepping closer to Deacon as he pulls you into a hug, and you wrap your arms around him before pressing your cheek against his shirt.

“I’m never leaving you again,” Deacon vows. “I lost you once, and after everything we went through to find each other again, what I put you through, I’m not losing you again.”

[luvergirl777]

If Not With You - N.S

Pairing | Neteyam Sully x Human Reader

Word Count | 19k, whoops.  

Genre | Acquaintances to lovers? Fluff, they're both dumb and can't drop a hint to save their life, SMUT.

Summary | Neteyam never understood you, and he doesn't think he ever will. Your skin is a different color than his, you're a solid 5 feet shorter than him, your native language is different than his, he could go on forever. He doesn't think he'll ever understand, until he watches you struggle with a knife for 10 minutes and graciously offers his services to you. Suddenly, he's bitten off more than he realizes.

Index | Bickering back and forth, the reader takes every chance she can get to be snarky, Neteyam does too though, purring Neteyam, two idiots in love, smut, creampie, soft!dom Neteyam (service dom kind of), a brief mention of breeding lol. Let me know if I missed anything that should be noted!

You confuse Neteyam in almost all aspects of your being. You’re human, so painfully alien as you run around the high grounds, scurrying to climb around the home tree to the best of your ability, scurrying to provide his grandmother with herbs for the wounded. So painfully human as you sit on the ground, weaving clothes 3 times your size for protection for warriors during time of battle. Painfully human as you cling to Kiri’s ikran (it’s the “least scary” you say) when you join foraging trips, not used to flying. And so painfully human despite having an Avatar sleeping less than 20 feet away, perfectly fine and ready to be used. His father had mentioned something about you not feeling comfortable or welcomed in your avatar body, not taught how to use it properly yet, somehow feeling more accepted as a human. 

You’ve lived your entire life here as a human, mostly. You were given your avatar more recently within the last couple of years, the Avatar taking a while to fully grow and become yours. Still, he’s maybe only seen it once. You wear the clothes, join the songs, dance in the festivals, forage and gather, weave, fish, help the wounded, everything you can physically do, you do. Because of your size, you sometimes struggle with preparing, gathering, and foraging through the forest. It takes you much more effort and time to scale fallen logs and rocks than others. It’s never made any sense, it still doesn’t to him. As you prepare a sturmbeest with some of the others for tonight’s meal, you bewilder him even more. 

“Here, let me help you.” Neteyam offers quickly as he sees you struggling to cut. He's afraid you’re going to slip and hurt yourself, the effort it takes to cut makes your hands shake where they hold your blade. It would be no issue in your avatar body, he’s sure of it but he doesn’t bring it up. After cutting through the hard part, he’s quick to hand you back the small knife to avoid taking over your village duty. “You know if-“ 

“If I was in my Avatar body I’d be able to do it?” You finish his sentence, glancing up at him. While you quickly divert your gaze, he catches the small look of shame you have before you return to the task that requires all your attention. 

“No, no. I was going to say if you need help, you can just call again.” He smiles, shaking his head softly. At this, you can’t help but jokingly scoff at him. 

“But you were thinking about it.” 

“Hmmm, I was not! You have no proof.” 

“That’s how everyone thinks, it’s fine to admit it Neteyam.” You chuckle, resuming your complete focus on the sturmbeest you’re more determined than ever to cut up now thanks to him. “Plus, shouldn’t you be preparing for the meal? Making sure everyone is accounted for and what not.” You're essentially telling him to get back to his tasks. 

“I am, making sure you’re accounted for. The way you’re wielding that knife I'm afraid you’ll go missing.” He teases you, pointing out the amount of effort you’re using to cut through the meat. “Also, if you don’t mind me asking since you brought it up, FYI, why aren’t you in your Avatar?” 

You sigh, and for a brief moment Neteyam thinks he’s overstepped his welcome. “No one really taught me how to use it. I suppose it’s all the same mechanics as controlling myself, but to an extent I don't feel connected. Your father said he felt the same at first, and offered to teach me but got busy with olo'eyktan duties, which is understandable. I haven't felt comfortable enough to ask him, it takes a lot of time that I'm sure he doesn’t have, you know?” 

“I can help you.” Neteyam offers before he has a chance to rethink it. 

“I think you’re also too busy, future olo'eyktan .” You turn your attention to him for a brief moment before resuming. “Plus, it’s not the culture or village life. I've grown up here, I understand that much. It’s the connection, and being in my body. I don't think you’d understand what I mean.” 

“I think you just need practice in a safe area where you don't have to worry. I can be your lookout while you get used to your body, who better than me?” Neteyam’s confidence grows as he offers you his gracious services. His smirk threatens to fall a bit as you glare up at him, but he’s determined to convince you regardless. 

“Your dad.” He interrupts your train of thought with a pained expression, making you giggle. “But I suppose since he’s unavailable, you’re the next best option.”

“Ouch.” He jokes, placing a hand over his heart. “So we'll start tomorrow, little human?” He cheekily adds, beginning to step away from you to return to his head counting job.

He smiles softly as you stick your tongue at him, turning back to finish your job as well. His heart beats hard in his chest, his adrenaline slowly beginning to run off as he checks to make sure everything is going as it should. As he sits next to his mother, the slight panic begins to settle in as he waits for you to join the feast. 

His mother notices the odd, out of place, anxious energy from her son. He’s not usually like this, his demeanor is off. “Neteyam?” She asks, nudging him softly. 

Neteyam faces her with more confidence now, attempting to get his mood back. “Yes, mother?”

“Are you feeling okay?” She reaches out for a brief moment, pressing her hand against his forehead. At this, he smiles softly before pushing her hand away by the wrist. She smiles softly at him, returning to talking to the others. Small cheers erupt as everyone begins to bring in the food, carrying trays and trays of food. He catches a small glimpse of you, following behind the others carrying trays. You’re not carrying anything, preoccupied with cleaning your knife before placing it back on your hip. You settle down behind most of the others, allowing others to get their food before you. He’s extremely observant of you now, he always has been, but it’s even more now. 

Dinner goes by as always, everyone talking, joking, telling stories with one another. You conversate every now and then, happily listening to stories that the other villagers tell you about hunts and raids they have been on. He feels hyper aware of your presence now, watching as a tail jokingly wraps around your waist and knocks you off balance. You smile, jokingly hitting the other people while saying something he can't pick up. Your smile is pretty, so pretty.

It almost feels impossible tearing his eyes away, but eventually he does. He begins to actually engage in his family conversation, listening to his mother and fathers stories. He can't wait for the next day to come, fighting to fall asleep. It feels like hours before he dozes off. 

Neteyam is grabbed by his father before he can actually slip away, a firm hand on his shoulder stopping all of his momentum. “Where are you off to?” His father asks, tugging slightly to turn him around to face him. Neteyam groans in his head, tail flicking slightly behind him. His ears quickly pin down as a reflex. 

“To the labs.” He answers plainly, hoping his father just lets him go with no further questioning. It’s all hopeful thinking, he knows that he will be questioned further. He wants to go, you’re probably waiting for him there now. You’re always on time, never keeping anyone else waiting on you for too long. 

“For what? Are you not coming on watch today?” Jake asks, the grip on his shoulder tightening slightly. Neteyams ears flatten further, tail flicking more aggressively. 

“I promised someone I would help them in the lab.” Neteyam answers. “I will be back later today.”

“Later today?!” Jake asks, releasing him in return for putting his hands on his hips. At the commotion, Neytiri comes out to see what’s going on. Jake gives her the rundown, “He is skipping watch to help the labs.” At this, Neteyam groans softly, the description not at all accurate or reflecting him. 

“Sa’nok,” Neteyam mumbles softly, “I promised,” 

“He hasn’t missed a watch in weeks.” Neytiri points out. “He’s also helping someone, he doesn’t need to come on every watch. Go, Neteyam.”

At this, he bows softly before hightailing it out of the area as quickly as possible. He thanks Eywa for his mother intervening, moving as quickly as possible to get to the labs. Sure enough, you’re waiting for him inside. You seem agitated already, sitting on one of the tables as you swing your legs back and forth. He’s quickly apologizing for keeping you waiting, explaining his situation as quickly as possible. 

“It’s okay, Nete.” You shrug, hopping down and walking over to the pods, known as link units. “Are you sure you want to do this? I’m gonna look like a baby deer and complain the entire time.” You whine, trying to convince him otherwise. 

“Are you trying to get me not to, or do you not want to? It sounds like you don’t want to.”

“I’m scared.” You admit, sighing softly. Neteyam offers a solemn expression, encouraging you softly as he pops open the link pod. He helps you climb in, offering a hand as you hop backwards into the memory foam. The beads on your chest cover clink loudly at the momentum, filling the otherwise silent lab. Max enters the lab, late, but still there. You trust him the most to help you link and check all of your vitals, others making you too nervous. 

“I’m going to come and get you once I make sure you link, where is your Avatar?” Neteyam asks as you lay down, holding the top of the pod as he leans down to talk with you. Your breathing is irregular, nerves shaking you to your cure. “I will be there, Y/n, to get you. I’ll be there for every step.” 

“My Avatar is all the way at the high camp.” You tell him, “I’ll wait for you though.” 

“I’ll be there, as fast as possible.” He ensures you, stepping away to let Max do his job to link you to your Avatar. Neteyam fiddles with the oxygen mask around his neck, playing with the strings as he watches you get settled in. As the pod closes, he turns to the screens that show your vitals. Your breathing is increased, but Max explains that’s to be expected when someone hasn’t linked for a while, “Normal nerves,” He calls them. 

“She should be in, I would hurry to make sure she's not freaking out.” And Neteyam does. He doesn’t think he’s ever flown as fast before, his ikran cutting through the air. He gets to high camp as fast as possible, running to the Avatar sleeping area. You’re sitting up, playing with your hands as you wait for him.

“Y/n! Look at you! You look like me.” Neteyam beams happily, running over to you. He helps you up, offering his hand as you stand. You stand easily, but still have a look of uneasiness written across your face. He notices your ears remain down, pinned back with worry. Every now and then, they’ll perk up for the briefest moment before going back. Cute.  “Are you feeling okay?”

“I feel fine, I just think I'm a bit hungry since I haven't been in this body for a while.” You explain, beginning to walk through the Avatar area. Your Avatar reminds him of his siblings, five fingers and toes, eyebrows, etc. You’re walking fine, a bit wobbly on certain areas of uneven terrain, checking a couple of times behind you to make sure he’s close. The camp is busy as always, people running around to fulfill their duties. You navigate the commotion easily though, heading over to the edge of the base. 

“Are you okay to fly?” Neteyam asks, clicking and calling out to his ikran. You nod, shakily, but still saying yes. His ikran is quick to land on the rocks, calming down as Neteyam connects his tswin and readies to mount. He gets on first, reaching to grab your hand and help you sling your leg over. “You can use the saddle and the hold here.” Neteyam speaks, guiding you to sit. He reaches around you, holding your hand and wrapping it around the leather hold. The strong animal flaps his wings underneath you, making your nerves set in as you already begin slipping off to one side.

“You’re okay, It’ll get easier once he’s moving.” He reassures you, using one arm to wrap around your waist, pulling you back upright. A small blush spreads across your face, your bodies extremely close to one another as he’s focused on your well-being. 

“What about you? Are you going to be okay with flying?” You ask, seeing as he has no secure hold. He’s not using the saddle, nor the holds. 

“Yes, I will be okay.” He reassures, holding where his tswin is connected. You trust him, and you trust his ability to fly more than anyone else. Even still, nerves bubble in your chest. “I’ll fly as carefully as possible for you, just hold on, okay?”

“Yes, I will.” You nod, tightening the hold on the leather underneath your palms. Even though you prepared yourself, the shriek that leaves your body as his ikran drops is involuntary. You can hear Neteyam’s faint chuckle in your ear, leaning forward as he guides his ikran. His hair brushes along your shoulder as he leans forward, goosebumps spreading across your arms. His arm tightens the slightest bit around your waist, ensuring you don’t lean too far forward and lose your balance. “Where are we heading?” You yell over your shoulder, the wind loud in your ears. 

“To find you something to eat!” Neteyam calls back, “We’ll be walking around the forest, give you some time to get used to your body without anyone else being around to pressure you.” 

You nod, looking forward to observe where you’re going. Neteyam flies as smoothly as possible for you, communicating to his ikran to stay calm as much as possible. The forest is extremely dense, flying through the trees and hanging vines with expert skill. Neteyam once again chuckles as he sees your grip tighten, both on the leather hold and your legs where they squeeze his ikran for purchase. Landing, the jungle is dense as he hops down. 

You land right after, the grass underneath your feet soft and plush. “Are we finding fruit?” You smile, beginning to trail off from him. Neteyam has to hide the smile, unconnecting as he dismisses his Seze. The grass is so soft underneath your feet, each step cushiony. You’re good at foraging, using all your skills and knowledge you’ve learned over the years. “Here, Nete,” You smile softly, handing him two fruits. Neteyam becomes your Navi basket, arms carrying everything you collect. He's more than happy to follow you around, eventually coaxing you to come sit once you’ve got enough. 

“You need to eat,” Neteyam says, soft but firm as he begins making his way to the river. He finds a soft area of grass, plopping down before softly letting the fruits follow. You join, watching Neteyam carefully as he dips the fruits into the river, cleaning them before handing them over with a big smile. “They’ll taste even better in this body,” He almost promises. 

And they do. They genuinely do.Your taste buds are alive and so heightened, a small smile pulling at the corner of your lips as you eat. “It’s good,” You grin, devouring the fruits that your body so desperately needs, gaining some semblance of energy back. 

“Do you still feel okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s still weird, I know it’s me, but it doesn’t feel like me. Moving is weird, everything is a conscious effort.” You try to explain to him. 

“Does that include your ears being down?” He asks, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips as he teases softly. “It's cute, don’t get me wrong, but not normal.” 

Once again, you have to consciously pull your ears up like the natural position they’re held at. When you forget, they fall back down. Neteyam pins his ears, signaling to you that you’re doing it again. It works perfectly, your ears perking up once more. 

“See? It’s too hard.” You smile, “We should just go back, say we tried hard.” You plead, making him laugh. You know he’d never, too much determination and pride in his chest to ever allow it. 

“You just need more time in this body, I’m sure of it.” Neteyam answers, shaking his head no as you whine. “We haven’t even got you running yet.” 

At this you groan, flopping backwards on the soft grass as you complain. You quickly get lost in it, the ground so soft, the sun so warm on your skin. It's comforting, much needed vitamin D. 

Despite ALL of your complaining, which was a lot, your body does prove more efficient than your human body. It moves through the terrain easier, scales the rocks and jumps over the fallen trees with no problem, runs as if it was made to do only that. Climbing was nothing you've ever wanted to do until now, and you find yourself playing in the trees like a child again. Climbing as a human is too hard, but this is easy, so it’s FUN. 

“Neteyam! You’re not joining!” You call from treetop, Neteyam watching carefully from the ground. He follows along when you stray too far, watching with careful eyes. It's endearing, how careful he is. 

“It's okay, you’re doing great!” He calls happily. 

You take it as enough confirmation that he’s okay with what’s happening, you having fun while he remains down there. Soon enough, he’s running on the ground to keep up with you. Not that he minds, he has the stamina for it. “Are you having fun!?” He happily calls, splashing through a shallow river as he follows you. 

“Yes! This is amazing,” You answer before beginning to come down. Your hands and feet are sore, unused to the rough nature of aggressive use. You don’t pay much attention, joining Neteyam in the cool water of the river, finding some relief. “It's nice, feels nice.” 

Neteyam fights off the urge to say “I told you so,” instead providing you with encouraging praise. Neteyam wants to teach you everything, he almost itches for it. He's already making a list in his head of everything he could offer you that you don’t know in this body. 

Hunting, riding, flying, swimming, scaling home tree, fighting if you’d like, archery. You know how to weave, arguably better than him, so that’s not something he can claim he taught. Along with foraging and gathering, healing, you also know the dances and songs, and basic craft skills that he can’t claim credit for. But what he can, he will. For today though, he lets you run, and play, and frolic through the grass. He follows you, never losing sight of his surroundings. He'll provide some knowledge here and there, but nothing too crazy. 

You’re exhausted as the sun begins to set, leaning against Neteyams seated body. “We should head back,” You mumble, praying he’ll let you go back this time. He agrees, not wanting to stay out too late for the creatures that come out. 

“We should, we can eat with the people,” He sees another learning opportunity. He stands, leaving you to support your own weight. You watch as he clicks and calls, his ikran coming down soon after. You can feel the exhaustion from the soon-ride, getting up with a grunt. 

“What if I just hold onto you?” It’s a real question, you’re trying to find out if that would be more or less tiring. 

“If you'd like,” He blushes the slightest bit as he faces away from you. Neteyam gets on first, now sitting on the saddle and holding the leather hold. He helps you climb behind him, “You still sure?” He asks, double checking with you since you have no secure holds. Your arms wrap tightly around his waist, torsos flush together. You can hold here, and with your legs. 

“Yes, this is okay,” It feels slightly unsafe compared to the saddle, but it’s less taxing on your body. You also can’t see much over his frame, but you don’t mind. “Thank you, Neteyam, it’s fun,” You talk with him. Your voice vibrates off him, bouncing off his skin. 

“Of course,” He beams even though you can’t see it. You arrive at the home tree soon enough, high in the trees where the ikrans stay. Neteyam leads you to the people for dinner, extremely careful that you don’t lose your balance in the high branches. When you have to hop down a considerable amount, he’s extra careful, going first as an example. He waits each time for you, always ready to catch if he ever needs to. With a relieved breath, he doesn’t need to, and you both make it to dinner without a hitch. 

“Sa’nok, Sempul,” Neteyam greets his family, bringing his hand to his forehead. You immediately follow along, greeting the leaders of your clan. “Would you mind Y/n eating with us tonight?” 

“Oh, no no it’s okay. I wouldn’t want to intrude-“ 

“Of course,” Jake smiles happily, genuinely excited to see you in your Avatar body. His hand lands softly onto your shoulder, examining your body. “How’s it feeling?” 

“Good! Good. It’s a lot of fun,” You smile, giving him a brief overview of your day spent doing nothing but pushing it. He grins, remembering his own days of running with his body for the first time. He tells you the story, beckoning you to sit with his family as he does so. You do, sitting next to Neteyam and Kiri. You know Kiri well, always working together in the healer's hut with her and Tsahìk. 

You know Lo’ak as well, but the two of you don’t talk much besides brief, common interactions. Regardless, you have nothing against him. And Tuk? Tuk is just adorable. You briefly remember gifting her an ikran toy when she was younger, handmade by you. You’re sure she has no recollection of it, much too young. But you don’t mind at all. You all share stories, you mainly listen as you don’t have many that are as exciting as theirs. Neytiri’s intrigue you the most, ears naturally perking up every time she speaks about something. 

Neteyam notices, a small smile spreading across his face as he eats. They flatten when silence takes over the conversation, obviously uncomfortable. The night wraps up like always, but Neteyam is sure to check on not only your Avatar, but also your human body. He makes sure both of your forms get to bed safely before he returns to his family's area, settling in. 

The days turn into weeks of getting used to your body. Neteyam teaches you everything he can, everything that comes to mind. You’re surprisingly good at archery, but guilt kills you when hunting. Even with the knowledge of clean, respectful kills, it’s not your favorite. Riding also comes natural to you, connecting with Pa’li as if you were born native. You become comfortable in your Avatar body, trusting your body’s movements and mind. You run, scale, leap, climb, crawl, swim, everything as if you were born in this body. As you land clean kill after clean kill, and join in on the hunting festivals, Neteyam begins to push you softly in the direction of iknimaya, taming your ikran. 

“Neteyam, it’s scary.” You defend yourself as you prepare meat for tonight’s dinner. Your Avatar body slices through easily, never struggling for more than a couple of moments. “They’re scary.” 

“I know, I know.” He sighs, “But-“ 

“Neteyam, I don’t want to talk about it right now. It’s scary, and I could die.” 

“You can die at any time.“ You send him a strong glare, ending the conversation without another word being shared with each other. You’re done talking about it for tonight, placing the meat on a serving platter. You don’t talk about it for a while, going on about your lessons and training, learning more and more each day. 

You’re out in the forest, a routine day unfolding. Your body and mind feel like yours, Neteyam also begins to wander away from you further and further. If it comes down to it, you can defend yourself to some extent. He's doing just that when a blood curdling scream rips through the forest, catching his attention immediately. His feet are moving faster than his brain, running. 

“NETEYAM!” You scream again, feet remaining planted firm in front of the animal in front of you. Your heartbeat is rapid as you stare down the creature, trying to figure out its next course of action. Stepping a couple of feet back, your fingers immediately begin to reach for the knife that’s secured across your chest. “It’s not moving, Nete. I don’t know what to do.” You speak, more calmly now as the palulukan has made no action to pursue you yet. Still, you unsheathe your knife just in case. It wouldn’t help much if it attacked, but it gives you some peace of mind for the current circumstances. 

“Is it not pursuing?” Neteyam asks, and you can hear his faint footsteps running to get to you in the distance. It’s still in the same place it was, still staring at you. 

“No! It’s just staring at me!” You yell back, trying to hold your ground as much as possible. Your knees shake the slightest bit, which you try to calm. If you turn and run, you could possibly outsmart it. However, as soon as you turn you’re sure it would immediately begin its pursuit on you. Neteyam eventually finds you, keeping his distance as he accesses the situation as much as possible. 

“I know what I’m going to say, you will not like-“ 

“Nete!” 

“I know, I know! But step up to it. Slowly, you’re not pouncing on her, but stepping up.” You want to scream at him, it sounds like a stupid idea. However, you don’t think there’s anyone you trust more with your general well-being than him. “Trust me! If something happens, I'm right behind you, jumping in.” 

“You promise?” You never break your eye contact, but you know Neteyam is staring directly at you. Taking a step, you can hear the faint “Promise” that Neteyam mumbles out softly. Another step comes, and the creature still hasn’t moved a single inch from where you were first confronted by it. Now you’re in attacking distance again, if you reached fully out you would surely touch it on the head. For the first time, it moved. It leans down, and it takes everything in your willpower to not start instinctively booking it at the first sign of movement, “Neteyam?” 

“Tsaheylu, make the bond. She’s offering to you.” Neteyam explains, stepping a bit closer as the tense environment of the situation has lessened. “It’s okay, she’s submitting to you, Y/n.” 

You’re still too afraid to break eye contact to look at Neteyam, your eyes never leaving her as you reach back for your kuru. As soon as the tsaheylu is made, a rush of relief washes over you. “Thank Eywa, thank Eywa,” You mumble, walking to its side and swinging yourself over the animal. Your heartbeat calms down with the animals, and you finally are able to feel her strength and power. She's unlike anything else you've ridden, not a ikran, not pa’li. Once you’re fully bonded, Neteyam feels safe enough to approach. 

“Scary?” He giggles, his hand coming to rest on your calf where it sits on the palulukan’s side. You can feel his thumb run across your skin comfortingly, making you smile as you face away from him. 

“Just a bit, she feels…kind?” You ask, despite him having no idea. “Her thoughts, her power and strength, is kind?” 

“I see, you feel her? You’re getting the hang of this whole, tsaheylu, kuru thing.” He smiles at you, walking behind you and hopping on. Even at the sudden movement, she still doesn’t think of any harm or reaction in a negative manner. You absolutely beam, reaching forward and petting the space at her forehead essentially. “Should I hold on?” Neteyam chuckles behind you. 

“Oh yes, 100%. Strong.” Is all you offer him before beginning to move, just walking but still feeling the absolute power she holds. 

“I trust you.” Neteyam smiles, leaning forward to wrap his arms around your waist. The contact makes your face flush hot, immediately pushing it away from your thoughts as you begin to run, easily jumping and clearing anything in the forest floor. Once again, it’s a completely different ride than you’re used to, you and Neteyam whooping, laughing, and shrieking when you particularly jerk and almost slide off. Slowing to a stop, you find yourself at the edge of the river. You gently rub her shoulder in warning as you slide off, patting her gently. You break the tsaheylu, watching in case she flees. Instead, she stays, drinks water, settles down with the both of you where you sit on the soft grass. 

“What about her family?” You ask Neteyam as if he would know the answer. Neteyam shrugs softly, unsure himself. He has no answer for this, logically. 

“She seems to want you more.” 

“I see,” 

“Y/n, you are more than ready for iknimaya,” 

There’s a loud sigh filling the peace of the forest. You hum, finally giving in. “Fine, Neteyam.” You sigh, watching as the thanator creeps towards you, laying down next to where you’re seated. “I’ll complete my iknimaya.” You nod, finalizing your statement. 

“The next trip is in one week,” 

You nod. You have one week to fully prepare yourself and the people around you. If anything, you’ll retreat at the first sign you can’t do it. Still, you dread the trip. 

You and Neteyam decide not to bring your thanator back, scared of the commotion she may cause. You promise to return to her in the forest in the opening you met at, bidding her goodbye in the meantime. With one final reassuring pet, she runs off. 

The days creep by, anxiety beginning to find its hold over you for your upcoming rite of passage completion. 

“It's my day off from lessons, Neteyam!” You poke your tongue out at him as he peels open your hammock, giving you no other option but to fully wake up. The hammock, suspended on two branches of the home tree, sways hazardously as he kneels down. He's almost, he is, towering over your human form like this, poking and prodding you until you get up. 

“Just because it’s your day off doesn’t mean we can’t hang out. What, I have to make reservations now?” Neteyam jokes, beaming at you as you finally rise, easily jumping onto a nearby branch to get going. Even as you stretch out completely, he’s a solid 3 feet taller than you still. “I was thinking we can just chill today, though. Nothing crazy, no village duties.” 

“Your father let you off village duties?” 

“Well no, but-“ 

“He’s gonna end up hating me.” It’s half joking, half not. You stop walking, instead turning around to face him. “Go back,” You chuckle, pushing Neteyam’s stomach. There’s enough force for little imprints to appear in his skin, but not nearly enough to move the giant. “I'm serious, he’s gonna start blaming me for you being absent all the time.” 

“Hmmm,” Neteyam pretends to think for a moment, tapping his bottom lip. “No.” Before you have a chance to react, Neteyam easily grabs both of your wrists in one palm. With one easy motion, you’re being swung through the air before landing on his back. He chuckles as you smack his shoulder for endangering your life like that, swinging you over the open area of the home tree sleeping area. (Even though you know he’d never drop you, even accidentally.) “C’mon, don’t worry about him. I'll be the one answering anyway.” 

“I’m serious, you’re gonna get yourself in trouble. Like Lo’ak.” You chuckle, and he scoffs at the accusations. 

“Never in a million years,” While the two of you talk, Neteyam easily scales the home tree and arrives at the ikrans in no time at all. “Plus, we can’t get in trouble if he can’t find me.” 

“This is stupid, and you know it.” You smile hard despite all your scolding, a specialness filling your chest that Neteyam would want to spend your days with you, even though it meant trouble for him. Once again, he nonchalantly shakes his head before calling down his ikran, quickly calming her for your sake. 

“Come on, we only have all day.” He jokes, offering his palm for you to climb up. You still hate flying, especially as a human just because of the size and how scary trying to hold on is. (Balance isn’t your thing and Neteyam is basically an expert flyer, aka, crazy ass flyer.)  Still, you suck it up as he takes you to your destination. It's a familiar area, pretty river, pretty flowers, and nearby fruit trees that you’re for sure going to devour when the time comes. 

You beam, hopping down before Neteyam and running over to dip your feet in the clear water. If Neteyams is lucky, you won’t start a water fight the moment he walks over. He approaches with caution, attacked one too many times to not be. Even as no attack ensures, he’s still sure to sit down carefully in case there’s some other sneak attack waiting around the corner. 

Instead, you both sit and watch the water for a bit. It’s a comfortable silence, a shared one at that. “I made you something.” You speak softly, finally breaking the silence, nerves flashing across your face when Neteyam doesn’t look over right away. “Just a small thing, nothing serious.” 

“Sorry, the fish over there- you were saying?” 

“I made you something.” 

“No, no-“ 

“It’s already made, it’d be rude to not accept it.” You chuckle, beginning to dig through your medicinal pouch (That’s supposed to be used for plants and herbs.) Neteyam watches carefully as you pull out a riding visor, carefully braided and woven to very little details. The small wings that make up the visor are in perfect condition, not even a small crack on them. 

“I know you have one, but I feel bad about the wings I broke on it.” You chuckle, handing it over to him. You were once riding with him in your human form and felt uneasy. As you slipped off to one side, you instinctively reached up to him, breaking the fragile protective wings on his visor. As you place it in his hands, your hands linger against one another’s for just a moment too long before you pull away. “And one more thing.” 

“You shouldn’t have-“ 

“I wanted to, Neteyam. In my free time, or days where we couldn’t practice because you had work.” You interrupt him, watching the soft smile slowly spread across his face. “This is your last gift, so don’t get all excited, it’s nothing crazy.” 

“I will get excited, it’s from you.” Neteyam hums softly, watching as you prepare to present your gift. 

“Shut your eyes, don’t open until I say.”

“How is that fair!”

“Warriors honor!! Shut your eyes!” You giggle loudly, standing up next to Neteyam. You’re not much taller than him even when he sits, but neither of you mention it. “No peeking, or else I'm taking it back.” 

“Fineee,” He sighs, finally following along with your shenanigans. Finally, you pull out your gift. It’s a simple necklace in theory, however you modeled its design after traditional warrior necklaces that have gone out of trend in recent years. Small goosebumps spread across Neteyam’s skin as your fingertips graze his skin, jumping slightly as you gently move his kuru. 

“Sorry, sorry.” You quickly apologize, watching as the goosebumps spread across his nape. You didn’t even think before you did it, out of instinct. You finish quickly after that, wanting to put some distance in between you two. “Look in the water.” 

He does, a giant smile spread across his face when he finds your eyes again. “You made this for me?” 

“Of course, who else?” You giggle, reaching out to run your fingers across the beads. Neteyam catches your forearm before you have a chance to move away once more, accidentally jerking you forward into his arms. You land with a huff, Neteyam quickly wrapping you in his embrace. So small compared to him, fitting in his arms like nothing at all. Your skin is so soft against his, his fingertips easily making small indents in your arms where he holds you close. 

“Thank you Y/n.” Neteyam mumbles softly, eyes falling shut as he gets lost in holding you, your scent, your voice. His eyes peel open the slightest bit as you begin to shuffle, preparing to release you as soon as you make a move to. Instead, you’re reaching up, wrapping your arms around his neck as you hug him close. Your knees are resting on his thighs, having to kneel in order to even reach. He can feel your beaded top against his chest, feel your heartbeat if he focuses hard enough on it. He’s sure you can feel his too, now beating a million miles a second. 

“Of course, a warrior necklace for a mighty warrior,” You mumble, almost directly into his ear unintentionally, goosebumps spreading all along his body. He shudders, making you pull back softly, peering at him with a careful look. Suddenly, he’s even more aware of the proximity and you on his lap. 

“Sorry, I just got a chill. Must be because my father is looking for me,” He smiles, covering up for himself. You laugh softly, carefully climbing off and sitting back by the river. You lay down, sun washing over your skin. Neteyam’s eyes soak it all in, not a sight that’s very common. He joins you after a bit, talking about any random topic that comes to mind. 

“Nete, can I ask you something weird?” 

“Anything,” 

“What does your kuru feel like? I'm not sure if it’s different for me, but you seem to be much more sensitive.” You ask softly, scared of overstepping your welcome when it comes to his teaching. 

As he lays next to you, he’s acutely aware of how much larger his frame is. “Hm, I suppose I am sensitive. But only when I want to be, with people I want to be.” He answers, hinting slightly. He's more than aware it’s going to fly over your head. 

“Uhm. When Na’vi chooses their mate, and they, uhm mate, is it the same tsaheylu as our bond with animals? With our mounts?” 

“Hmm, I'm not sure. I haven’t been there yet.” He chuckles softly, but still does his best to answer. “I suppose they are connected in the same way, but you cannot control them as if you are on a mount. You cannot think about going, and expect the other to go. It’s more of a spiritual connection, being completely with the other. I suppose we also feel the other's sensations and emotions, but control is not the aspect of it.” 

“Why are you so sensitive with yours?” 

“It is my nervous system, if I wasn’t something would be seriously wrong.” He answers sarcastically, making the both of you laugh. 

A comfortable silence falls over the two of you, your eyes closing as you soak up the sun. 

“Neteyam?”

“Hm?”

“I'm scared.” It’s vulnerable and the truth, you’re terrified. “If I fall, will you catch me?” You’re completely dead serious, terrified of falling off the cliff. 

“Of course, I'll fly Seze.” He promises you. You sigh, nodding your head. 

The day slips through your grasp before you can even hold onto it for a second, night quickly approaching. You and Neteyam slowly make your way back to home tree, you much slower, as you purposely get further and further behind. Neteyam knows, and he could definitely guess why you’re acting so strange. He doesn’t push you, just slows down his pace tenfold to allow you to catch up and even pass him. Ever so observant, he watches as your fists clench tight as your feet come to a gradual stop. 

“Neteyam, spend tonight with me.” You rush, quickly. You quickly turn around to peer up at him, catching the small smile that’s already pulling at the corners of his mouth. Your fists are still clenched as you wait for his response to your borderline demand. 

“It doesn’t sound like you’re asking, demanding the future Olo'eyktan around?” Neteyam boasts, jokingly puffing out his chest before he’s dropping into a squat to be more eye-level with your form. “Y/n?” 

You almost knock him off balance as you ambush him, smaller body crashing against his as your arms fly around his neck. He regains his composure just as quickly, arms wrapping around you. “I'm scared.” You mumble against his ear, goosebumps shooting down his spine. “Just in case something happens.” You continue to mumble, borderline against his skin. “I want to spend tonight with you.” Your arms never loosen their hold, not giving him much leeway. 

“Nothing will happen, Y/n.” He reassures you, easily picking up both of your body weight as he stands. He doesn’t pry you away, instead he wraps his arms around your torso as he easily carries you through the branches. “I promise, you will do amazing.” He fights to reassure you, lips brushing against your ear. 

“You don’t know that.” 

“I do, I do.” He giggles softly, finally arriving at the sleeping hammocks after what feels like forever. (The close proximity is going straight to his head.) “You need rest though, my mighty warrior.” Neteyam gives you a wide grin as you pull away, smiling back softly at him. “I won’t leave you, if that’s what you want.'' He carefully maneuvers your weight into one arm, the other assisting him as he climbs into the hammock. Laying on his back, a content sigh slips through your lips as you rest on his chest. 

“Neteyam, if I fail, what will you do?” You mumble, avoiding his gaze as your head never lifts as you speak to him. 

“I will catch you.” He answers back almost immediately, not missing a single beat. It makes you smile, reassures you, calms your nerves just the slightest bit as he promises. 

“Neteyam?”

“You're supposed to shut your eyes, syulang.” He teases as you continue your questioning. 

“Can we go to the labs?” It's now Neteyam’s turn to ask questions, you never want to be in the lab. Never once have you asked to go there. 

“Huh?”

“My mask is annoying, I'm getting used to not having it on.” Okay, he supposes that makes sense. Eases his nerves that you’re falling into your more human side than that of the culture and of the people. He lets out a puff of air he didn’t realize he was holding, climbing onto his feet carefully with you still in his arms. He wobbles like an idiot climbing out, regaining his balance once his feet hit the tree branch. 

As always, Neteyam moves swiftly despite your weight remaining fixed to his back. You're tired, slowly slipping further and further down, making it hard for him to move as easily. “Y/n, you’re killing me,” Neteyam chuckles softly, reaching behind him to pull you up his back. He easily drops you onto his shoulders, continuing the fast pace he was previously at. He’s dumb, he definitely did not think this one through. Each movement has your legs clenching tightly, scared to fall from so high up. He can feel your warmth, so close. Each time you shuffle, he can smell you, so close it’s making him dizzy. Mustering all his strength up, he pushes on.

He thanks Eywa under his breath when he sets you down, still feeling the warmth on his shoulders where you once were. He hums softly as he grabs a mask, fiddling with the annoying thing as he places it over his head. He watches as you happily rip off your mask, rubbing at the red lines it left behind on your face. The lab is empty, everyone out for the night, likely sleeping up at high camp with the Avatar lab. Neteyam follows you loosely as you wander around, eventually slipping into a room. It’s small, for Neteyam. However, for you, the bed is giant as you plop dead in the middle of it. 

“Neteyammm,” You sing-song to him, beckoning him over on the small bed. He curls and concorts, knees coming up as you lay almost encircled by him. Your face is engulfed in a smile, hands reaching up to play with his hair. “Maybe after I become a warrior I’ll rebraid your hair. You’ve been so busy.” You mumble softly, continuing to play softly with it. Your fingers brush over his kuru, a shudder running down his spine before he can stop it. You’re so close, smell so good, so warm, it makes him 100% more sensitive, he thinks. “Sorry, sorry,” Your hands retract just as fast as his reaction happened. 

“No, no, it’s okay.” He reacts, stopping your hand before it has the chance to fully leave his head. “It’s okay, it’s not bad. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re curious, it’s okay.” 

“Neteyam,”

“It’s okay,” He smiles softly, gently placing your hand back where it once was. He encourages you to do whatever you’d like, bending to your every will. He would, he does. Another shudder runs down his spine when your little hands graze over it once more, goosebumps spreading along his skin. He can see the apprehension on your face, uncertainty. “It doesn’t hurt, syulang. It’s just sensitive, a new feeling.” He hums, pressing his face into your neck, hiding the blush that begins to spread across his face and ears. 

You fill up his senses entirely, and he likes it. He wants you to. He bites back a softly whimper when your fingers trail down the braid, nose flat against your skin as he inhales. He can feel you warm up, feel himself warm up as well. His kuru seeks out your touch almost, wrapping around your fingers before you even realize it. Trying to make some form of tsaheylu, likely. Your fingers twitch slightly through the exposed part of his nerves, gaining confidence as you brush through them carefully, watching for any pained noises. Neteyam cant bite back the whimper when you carefully wrap your fingers around it, entangling back. He pitifully moans against your skin, embarrassment coursing through his veins as he refuses to meet your eyes. 

“You need to rest, mighty.” Neyetam hums against your skin, afraid if he glances into your eyes now it would be too much for him, he’d give in. Another shiver runs, this time just from the thought of you, your skin, the proximity of your bodies as he curls around your form on the bed. “Let’s rest for tomorrow.” He can feel you nod, carefully moving your hands away from his kuru. He’s about to mourn the loss of contact, maybe even complain, before you’re running your fingers with his braids, holding his head close. Everything is good. 

You thank Eywa for the blessing that makes Neteyam not look at you, you’d surely be read like a book. Face red, lips bitten bright red, slick with saliva. Thank Eywa. 

You wake up with dread, genuine dread. Terror racks your body the whole trip. Not at the thought of scaling the mountain, or climbing the vines. At the thought of failing. Neteyam has so much faith in you, you don’t know what you’d do if you were to fail. You can almost feel the disappointment rolling from him. Shaking the thought from your head, you continue climbing the hard rock, pulling yourself out of autopilot. Neteyam whoops every now and then, encouraging you and the other group of warriors you’ve traveled with. It's nice, knowing he’s close, but terrifying at the same time. 

As you come to the opening of the cave, just before you cross over, your heart drops. Seze comes into your view, landing and allowing Neteyam off. 

He presses his fingers to his forehead, greeting everyone in the surrounding area. You all follow along, greeting your future leader. “I will not be watching, I'll be on lookout. Just in case.” He announces to the group, watching as the dread still doesn’t leave your face. He announces you’ll go last, trying to make you feel better. It fails, miserably. But you don’t tell him. 

When it’s finally your turn, he comes back to the mountain, beginning to carefully walk you underneath the waterfall. People have failed today, scurrying back underneath the water in a desperate attempt to miss the near-death attack. They all come back ashamed, disappointed, and you’ve done your best to reassure them. Of course, some also succeeded, flying off with loud cheers and chants cheering them on. 

“Neteyam, if I think I’m going to die, I am going back.” It’s dead serious, eyes dead serious, as you stare back at him. You’re scared, and he knows it, but you’re trying desperately to hide it all. “I don’t want you to be disappointed, but I'm scared.” 

“I understand,” Neteyam nods, “I am not going further, I have to get back to Seze. I will be close,” You know he will, you know it. Carefully inching closer, most of the ikrans are already scattered, scared off by ten other hunters. The entire process is a blur, fear and adrenaline taking over your mind. You can barely remember what happened as you force your tsaheylu to connect, terrified pants calming out. 

You briefly hear Neteyam’s chants fill your ears, hands pressing against your face in excitement. “What happened?” It's a genuine question. You can’t remember. 

“Once you captured it, it did not fight. You didn’t have to lock it down.” He answers, a crazy look coming over his face as if he’s realizing something. As the adrenaline begins to mellow out, your brain begins working again. 

“I have to fly, Neteyam move,” You demand, his hands still carefully holding your head in his palms as he forces you to look at him. 

“Yes, yes. Fly, I’ll follow.” He smiles, ducking out of the way. He can hear the shriek that leaves your lips as you take off, the sound bouncing off the nearby rock. His feet are sprinting as quickly as possible over the wet rock, finding Seze and taking off just as quickly to search for you. You’re doing decent, still shaky, but alive when he finds you. You grieve the absence of a proper saddle and hold, Neteyam more than aware as he laughs at you. 

“IT'S HARD!” You scream over the wind, voice just barely making its way to his ears. 

“YOU DID IT!” He’s screaming back, a giant smile plastered across his face. The hours tick by quicker than he would’ve liked, signaling for you to follow as he leads you back to home tree. He supposes it’s because you went last, the time seemingly running past him. As you land in the top branches of the home tree, your unsteady legs buckle as you make contact with the mossy branch, toppling down. 

“I’m tired,” Is all you offer, disconnecting your kuru as you allow your ikran to perch wherever she pleases. Neteyam lets out a hearty laugh as he reaches to pick you back up. 

“You did it, I told you you were ready,” He smiles, the smile taking up his entire face. His arms wrap around you, pulling you into his embrace in a flurry. Your legs still feel weak, but you muster enough strength to wrap your arms back around him. “Come, we must meet with the others for dinner, announce it to the clan,” He blurts, excitement running through his veins for you. A giant smile spreads across your face as you agree, following him down with interlocked pinkies. 

As you make it down, Neteyam lets out a loud whoop, announcing your success. Cheers and chants follow, everyone beginning to congratulate and praise you. Your official ceremony will be held in a week, commemorating and celebrating your achievement of having your place within the people. Neteyam is busy telling everyone the story, voice bubbling with excitement, growing in volume as he gets to the good parts. You beam beside him, listening. You couldn’t tell it anyway, you partially blanked. 

Some of the elder members of the clan have a look you can’t quite decipher, unsure of what it means. You choose not to ask, scared of getting an answer you don’t actually want. For once, you choose ignorance. 

Eventually the commotion begins to die down, everyone beginning to eat as usual. Neteyam practically begs you to eat with them as always, but Neytiri has the same look that so many others have given you. “Thank you, Nete, but I’m really worn out,” You offer softly, placing your hand on his bicep to try and calm him. He offers you a sad, kicked puppy look, but it didn’t work. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” You smile, beginning to make your way back to the hammocks. 

“Child,'' Neytiri speaks softly once you depart, swooping Neteyam away for a brief moment. He knows he’s going to get some sort of lecture, good or bad, so he follows without saying another word. “She is special, no?” She asks, plain and simple. They both know the answer to this, Neteyam’s ears pinning in worry. 

“…No.” Fear leads him as he lies. 

“Neteyam.” It is kind but firm. 

“She has something.” Is all he offers. He doesn’t know what it really is, but he knows it’s something. “Does that matter?” He avoids her gaze in worry. 

“No, no. It doesn't matter. But it's something to be noted and watched, you know that.” She speaks, gently placing her hands on his shoulders. “Is she something special…to you?” She asks delicately, placing a careful hand over his heart as she asks. 

“I'm…not sure.” He answers honestly. 

Neytiri nods. She also knows the answer to that question, but figured she’d ask anyway. “Come, my child, let’s eat.” She smiles warmly, leading him back. He earns a lot of “ouuuus” from his siblings when he gets back, assuming he got in trouble. 

He hisses softly, resuming his natural place with his family as he begins eating. 

The days once again fly by before he can even think too long about it, a sturmbeest hunt following just days after your iknimaya. 

“Come with us, Y/n,” Neteyam pleads alongside Lo’ak, begging you to come to the hunt with them. Your small human frame is still wiping the sleep from your eyes, glaring up at him as you devour your fruit. You pop your mask back on as you chew, the mask becoming more and more frustrating as you grow accustomed to your Avatar body. 

“I can't hunt and fly at the same time, I'm not good at flying yet.” You answer genuinely, allowing your neck to relax as you look down, no longer peering up. 

“You can be our lookout,” Lo’ak offers, also wanting you desperately to come along. He knows he hasn’t talked to you much, and as he watches his brother fall head over heels for you, he’s determined to grow closer. 

You huff loudly, eyes still all squinty from sleep. You struggle up to your feet, the two blue boys giant next to you. “I'll meet you guys by the ikrans,” You whine, beginning to lazily make your way to the labs for link. 

“Yay yay yay!” Lo’ak and Neteyam chant, easily lifting you and absolutely spriting you to the labs. You scream and laugh, body jostled around as if you weighed absolutely nothing to them. Your ribs hurt from laughing as they arrive at the shack, placing you down in front of the front door. They usher you inside. 

“We’ll be at the tree,” Neteyam smiles, waving as you step inside. They both take off before the door even closes all the way. You can only laugh as you imagine them going crazy, sprinting up the tree branches. Just as you imagined, when you finally get up there, both boys are panting and disheveled, bowed over at the hips as they fight for air. 

“Skxawngs,” You laugh wildly, a giant smile on your face as you call your ikran down. She’s calm as you connect, quickly rising and falling backwards as you wait for the other two. 

The hunt goes smoothly as possible. Some shots are always missed, some Navi and their pa’li are always knocked over, some sturmbeests are wounded but not killed, always a tragedy. You watch Neteyam and Lo’ak very closely, terrified that one of them was going to get themselves in some sort of trouble or hurt. Neteyam lands a hit on one, the arrow not deep enough to kill the giant male just get. You’re a considerable distance ahead, flying further in front. 

“Y/N, SHOOT! THE BIG MALE!” His voice screams to you, wanting to put the animal down with as little pain as possible. You let out an annoyed growl as you draw your bow as quickly as possible, using the wind to whip back as quickly as possible. Your arrow is aimed and shot quickly, the male about to run past where you’re flying, charging wildly. Your arrow hits on the same area, successfully knocking the prize winner down. 

You, Neteyam, and Lo’ak cheer loudly, flying quickly next to one another as the adrenaline courses through your veins. Lo’ak screams in english, Neteyam in Navi, and you in a weird mix of the two. You're met by the people with loud calls and cheers, celebration soon to be underway as you bring in the prize kills. 

“Y/n, come to the ceremony with me tonight.” Neteyam calls you softly as you feed your ikran, tending carefully to her. He watches as you loosen the saddle and reins, allowing your ikran to have more ability and flexibility while you’re not riding. 

“The ceremony, with you? Are you courting me?” You chuckle softly. You know the culture, he knows you know the culture. Even at your accusation, the both of you giggle and brush it aside. 

“You? Of course not. I'm giving you the gracious opportunity to take your Avatar to a ceremony, and just so happen to go with the clan leader's son.” 

“Uhhhh huh.” 

“Seriously, you’d be missing out if you don’t.” 

“Fine, I suppose I will.” 

The night is hectic, fermented juice being passed around like no one’s business, dance, games, and food all being shared among the clans members. You’re a topic of conversation, everyone inquiring about your appearance in your Avatar and not how you normally show up. Even still, it’s a good time. Everything goes generally as planned, until Tarsen approaches you later in the night, smooth voice talking with you. 

He's sweet, and you suppose he’s just as accomplished as Neteyam in terms of earning their place within the clan. You know he’s respectful and hardworking, but besides that you’ve never really talked to him. 

“You look very beautiful tonight.” A giant smile spreads across your face before you even have a chance to stop it fully. “Please, allow me to get a drink with you.” You have no chance in hell, nodding like an idiot as he takes your hand to help you up off your seat. The drinks are strong, making you warm in seconds flat. 

“How is the ceremony going for you, Tarsem?” You smile softly, turning to listen to his answer. He steps a bit closer as he talks to you, leaning forward to tell you about his day in your ear. There’s small goosebumps spreading across your arms from the proximity, listening nevertheless to him. It takes a lot of effort to not jump when his tail comes to wrap around your waist, a classic courting gesture. He's bragging to you about his kill in the hunt, and your mind begins to wander to yours and Neteyam’s joint kill. 

“Y/n?” You turn to find the voice, losing your balance temporarily as you search. “Can I have this dance?” Neteyam appears out of nowhere, standing up straighter and broad in front of you. 

“Nete! Of course!” Once again, your balance falters as you step towards him. You quickly mumble a string of apologies to Tarsem, promising to come back as you excuse yourself from him. Neteyam’s chest rumbles as you fall towards him, finally breaking free of Tarsem’s hold on your waist. “Let's go!” 

He waits until you get away from the table to speak once again, “Are you drunk? You’ve been drinking?” 

“Yes, well no. Tarsem wanted to drink with me, but that’s it.” You struggle, beginning to make your way over to the clan's traditional dance line. Your hand reaches for Neteyam, pulling him along to follow. He stands in place, solid as a rock despite your pleading. Your costume makes soft clicking sounds as the beads and feathers move, a pretty hanging assortment that Neteyam had gifted you. Before arriving at the ceremony, you realized you had no ceremony outfits for your Avatar, only for your human body. It sits on your shoulders, connecting at your wrists to almost resemble wings hanging down. 

“And his tail?” His jaw is clenched hard. 

“Neteyam? What’s wrong?” You finally give up trying to pull him to the dance, it’s clear he doesn’t actually care to dance at this moment. There's a small frown on your face that Neteyam threatens to crumble under. He pulls his composure together, reaching out and pulling you close by your elbow. 

“He was courting after you, and you let him.” Neteyam mumbles, eyes searching yours for answers. 

“I didn't think you’d mind…you said we were just going to give me a chance to use my Avatar, Nete.” You sigh, confusion evident. “You’re confusing me, really badly. I don't understand why you’re upset. Please, can we just dance??” 

Neteyam once again doesn’t budge. Even in your Avatar body, his strength easily overpowers yours and he’s suddenly an unmoving force. The two of you are away from the crowd, able to talk more freely and hide from any peering eyes. “Would you have continued?” Neteyam grits, unable to hold eye contact with you as he peers down. 

“What do you mean? What are you accusing me of?” 

“Would you have mated?” 

“Neteyam! What are you on about?” You slur your speech, balance losing temporarily as you fall forward into him. He catches you despite technically being upset. “I’m not mating with anybody, the person I want doesn't want me. He told me so today,” You drunkenly babble, arms wrapping around his neck as you hold yourself up. “Told me he won’t go to the ceremony with me in that way, doesn’t want to court me.” Your costume tangles with him as his arms come to wrap around your waist, the proximity going to his head. 

“He told you that, huh?” Neteyam feels his face heat, knowing who you’re talking about. You lift slightly onto your tiptoes, pushing yourself closer against his chest. “I think you should tell him that.” 

“Hmmm, I don’t know,” Your words came out mumbled, “He’s a really busy guy, you know? Don’t wanna be an inconvenience.” You continue, and Neteyam can feel his heart contract a bit. 

“You’re not an inconvenience.” 

“Hmmm,” You hum, goosebumps sprouting against his skin. “Can we dance, Nete. Please?” You ask again, beginning to untangle yourself from him. He mourns the loss of closeness, holding tight to your hand in his. Your face is bright pink, but you still lock eyes with him. “Come, let’s dance in the ceremony,” You softly pull, this time Neteyam moves with, giving in. The two of you dance and sing, play some of the games, share food as you begin to settle down for the night. You’re holding the leaf on your lap, you and Neteyam both picking from it here and there. 

Unknown to you, Tarsem is making his way over, ready to ask about your promise of returning to him. Neteyam locks eyes, giving him a heavy glare that’s almost unmistakable even in an inebriated state. To solidify his claim, he’s moving closer to you, legs now pressed together, his arm wrapping around your shoulder. He gets the message loud and clear, turning around and beginning to make his way elsewhere. 

“Nete, I’m tired,” You call his attention back without realizing, head falling onto his shoulder. “Can I go back to home tree? You can stay if you need to, future Olo'eyktan,” You smile, beginning to stand as you hand him the leaf in case he’s sticking around. “I’ll see you for our lessons, yeah?” 

“I’ll walk you back,” He’s quick to offer, wanting to make sure you get back safely, and by yourself. Neteyam does as promised, safely walking you back to home tree to allow your Avatar to rest. He thinks hard, would your human body remember what you said and did? Are you going to steer clear of him now? You’re beyond wobbly, scaring Neteyam half to death as you wobble side to side on the tree branches. Your body has enough muscle memory to easily guide you to the hammock, still, Neteyam gasps hard as you freely jump into an open one. “Oh Eywa! Y/n!” He scolds. 

You laugh softly, peering up at him. “Goodnight, Nete. Get back safe okay?” You lazily smile, gently pulling at the edge of the leaf to cover yourself. You’re out quickly, body exhausted. Neteyam is now racing on foot to the lab to check on human you. 

“Y/n?” He calls as he walks through the lab, struggling with the mask as he holds it. 

“Neteyam? You should probably get back to the ceremony,” You mumble, stretching your legs and arms out. He smiles softly as the beads clink together, “People are probably waiting on you.” 

“Yeah, but you should get some rest. I wanted to make sure you’re okay, you drank a lot.” 

“I suppose it doesn’t cross over, that’d be weird if it did. I don’t remember much though,” You smile, a bit embarrassed that you can’t remember the ceremony that Neteyam took you to. 

“I see, I see.” He nods, “Here, I’ll run you up to home tree so you can get some sleep.” Neteyam smiles as he offers, turning around and squatting to offer his back. You climb on, wrapping your legs around his torso as much as possible given his size. Neteyam takes you there easily, jumping, climbing, and scaling the tree with little to no difference with you on him. He's careful as he climbs into a leaf, allowing you to climb off of his back. You laugh as he wobbles in it as he tries to get up around you. 

“Careful, you’ll knock both of us out,” You smile, grabbing his arm where he’s trying to push himself up without leaning too far to one side. He can only balance with both arms, awkwardly placed on either side of your head, your smaller frame engulfed by his much bigger one. 

Neteyam makes the mistake of looking, his body easily covering yours entirely, your face bright red as you bite on your lips, avoiding eye contact. Your small hand grips hard as you balance yourself, not helping. He's so close he can practically smell the heat rolling off of you. “Sorry, Sorry! I’m just, this is, it’s fragile,” He stutters, his own face warming. He wants to stay here, like this, with you. He's sure you can see the blush on his ears, stuttering like an idiot when he accidentally looks in between both of your bodies. But he can’t, so he reluctantly climbs away, barely making it to the tree branch. “I’ll see you soon,” He grits out, closing the hammock for you. 

Neteyam knows he should go back to the ceremony, make his rounds as the chief's son. But he has a bigger issue at hand, said issue? In between his legs. 

Your’s and the other warrior’s ceremony is quick to come, your body being painted traditionally for it. White paint is drug along your torso and face, finger paths making pretty even lines. You begged Kiri to help you, knowing she’d be the most careful and intricate. As she drags her fingers over your lips, the both of you giggle wildly. Tuk, who joined the both of you for fun, stares at you with stars in her eyes. 

“Y/n, I have a gift for you,” Kiri speaks, springing up and running off. She comes back quickly. She comes back with a decently sized box. “It’s for tonight.” 

Your heart aches as you open it, a giant smile spread across your face. “You didn’t have to-“ 

“It's not just from me.” 

Its beautiful ceremonial pieces, bottoms, a top, accessories galore, and a few pieces to decorate your hair with. “Most were woven and made by Neteyam,” Kiri almost whispers, a knowing smile spread across her face at the confession. 

“I see…” You smile, trying to avoid the blush that threatens to come across you. Kiri is very receptive, even more so to you since she’s known you for so long. “They’re beautiful, I’ll be sure to talk to him and thank him later tonight,” 

Kiri smiles, “I'm sure he’d like that a lot.” She nods, climbing to her feet. She offers her hands, helping you up. “Me and Tuk will leave you to get ready,” 

You thank her repeatedly as she leaves. You kiss the top of Tuk’s head goodbye when she complains about leaving, promising her you’ll see her later. Getting changed makes your stomach flip wildly, nerves beginning to set in for the night. Everyone is busy with their preparations, running wildly around the tree. Dressed and painted, you make your way down. 

Neteyam spots you immediately, having to run off to help with preparations. His mind is filled with you, just the brief glimpse he caught. He tells himself to distance himself, too scared that once he’s in your grasp he won’t be able to break himself away. He watches the entire night, eyes never once leaving your frame. Hours fly by like minutes, too entranced in the way you dance, speak, sing, smile, interact, everything about you. You can feel his stare, burning into your skin. He watches as you join in the dances, accept praise and congratulations, turn down courting and mate offers left and right. His eyes never leave once. 

“Sa’nu,” Neteyam soft voice catches Neytiri’s attention, quickly walking off with him. Far enough away from everyone else, Neteyam speaks freely. “I am going to ask Y/n to be my mate tonight.” His voice is firm and strong. He's not asking in the slightest, he is telling her. 

Neytiri nods softly, fighting the smile that pulls at the corner of her lips. “She will make a good mate for you, my eldest.” He smiles, reaching to softly cup his face. 

Neteyam nods, “I know.” The two of them walk back to the party, Neteyam standing much stronger, more confident as he searches for you once again. 

“Syulang,” Neteyam calls, watching as your head immediately turns towards him. His heart beats hard. “Are you having fun?” He asks softly when you make your way over, a glow radiating off of you. 

“Yes, I am. Are you having fun?” You smile back, sitting with him on one of the logs. 

“Yes, I am.” He nods. 

“Watching me? Because I haven't seen you do much else,” You tease softly, leaning forward towards him as you speak. It’s the truth, he hasn’t done much else. 

“Yes, making sure you’re safe,” He nods, coming up with an excuse that’s semi-believable. 

“My warrior, forever and always being my lookout,” You grin at him, thinking about when he first promised to be your extra set of eyes, keeping you out of harm's reach. A couple of braids fall from behind his ear as he shuffles slightly. Before you’re thinking, you reach forward, gently tucking them behind his ear. 

The grin on his face is irreplaceable, his hand gently reaching for your wrist before you can pull away. He softly pulls your hand down, kissing the pads of your fingers softly. “Y/n? I want to show you something, whenever you’re ready to go.” He gently releases your wrist after pressing another kiss to your pinky, your extra finger that makes you different. 

Your mind goes numb, essentially, eyes widening as you stare at the man in front of you. “Ye-yes. I was going to get going soon anyway,” You mumble, not entirely the truth but you digress. He grins, a love-sick grin as he’s the first to get up. He offers his palm, smiling even more when you take it. 

“You are one of the people now, physically and spiritually now.” Neteyam begins as the two of you run through the forest, taking turns passing one another in brief sprints. The two of you laugh like dummies, leaping and hopping over logs. “Eywa has heard you, acknowledged you.” He continues, slowing his pace when he approaches his destination. It's the tree of voices, a place you know from stories and pictures. You’ve never visited yourself, never being able to connect or truly listen. “These trees are our people. We connect with them through here, hear their voices, listen to their stories.” Neteyam speaks softly as he walks through the trees. “It is one of our most sacred places. It is our memories, our history.” 

Neteyam’s voice is honey to your ears, watching his actions closely. His movements stop, reaching to gather a few of the branches and bringing them to himself. Reaching for his braid, he connects his tswin. You watch him, unsure of if you should follow. Neteyam smiles, nodding towards you to follow when you don’t immediately mirror him. You follow, connecting. It’s different than anything else, your pupils grow giant, listening to the voices, stories, songs. Goosebumps grow all along your body, eyes falling closed as you listen to the advice of mothers passed down for thousands of generations. 

“Y/n,” Neteyam speaks softly, hands gently taking your elbows in his hold. Your eyes peel open, gently pulling your kuru away. “I have a gift for you,” 

“Neteyam-“ 

“It’s already made.” He uses your own logic against you from the past. You giggle softly, following him to the soft grass when he sits. He tenderly presents a necklace in his palms, holding it with both hands as he presents it to you. “It’s for you, marking our training together.” Neteyam explains nervously, feeling his tail flick wildly behind him in anxiety. 

“You shouldn’t have, you already made me my outfit Nete.” Your voice grows soft as you scooch closer to him, leaning in to examine the necklace in his hands. 

“This is the first day, where we spent all day in the forest. This is when you learned archery, your first clean kill, bonding with Midnight, your iknimaya, your kill in the sturmbeest festival, your celebration tonight.” He explains each of the beads, face warming as you continue to draw closer to one another. There's one remaining, a soft pink stone. 

“Which is this one?” You ask, reaching and pointing. 

“This one…is to represent tonight,” Neteyam mumbles, extremely soft. Your eyes catch one another’s for a brief moment, breaking off when you feel the heat rise to your cheeks. “The trees, the people, us.” 

“Neteyam, it’s too sweet,” Your voice is smooth and heavenly to him, hands holding his bicep firmly. You then release him, turning your back so he can place it onto you. His touch makes goosebumps spread anywhere they brush, a shudder going down your spine. Your fingers reach to feel it, “It’s perfect, Nete,” You mumble as you turn back and face him. Your hands find his shoulders naturally, eyes connecting. 

“I see you, Y/n.” He mumbles, hands once again falling to hold your arms where they rest on him. 

“Neteyam, you see me, I see you.” You mumble softly, your hands gently cupping his face in your palms as you shuffle closer to where he’s kneeled. He smiles, leaning his head into your hold and almost nuzzling into you. There's a rumble in his chest, a purr as you always call it, as he feels so completely intent in your hold. He always denies purring with a passion when anyone else brings it up, but you, sure, he’d purr for you. “Nete, I see you.” You speak again, sitting so close that your knees are between one another. 

“You’ve grown up here, you know the culture. After coming of age, all of the people are permitted to make their bow or weapon, and find their mate if they wish to." Neteyam speaks softly to you, pressing his forehead to yours. “You may do this as you wish, with whoever you wish.” Neteyam’s chest tightens as his mind goes to Tarsem. 

“With whoever I wish?” You ask softly, pulling your head back slightly. Neteyam looks confused, eyes squinting in confusion at your move. “What are the conditions of, “whoever?” I feel that some people are definitely off limits.”

“Who is off limits to you?” Neteyam mumbles, his hands dropping down from your elbows to the ground behind him, holding his torso up. 

“Hmmmm,” You pretend to think for a couple of moments, tapping your chin as Neteyam makes himself comfortable, now sitting as he rests on his palms. He looks especially handsome, the smallest look of smugness on his face. He’s almost beckoning you closer, inviting you onto his lap as he sprawls out in front of you. “Olo'eyktan, he’s definitely off limits. Hmmm, I think the future Olo'eyktan is also off limits.” 

“Yeah? Did he tell you that it’s off limits?” His confidence grows even more, chest booming. Finally, he reaches forward, hands finding your waist and finally pulling you close once more. Your knees are on either side of his thighs, hovering over his lap. “I think that the future Olo'eyktan has already chosen his mate though, a very special person, someone who he didn’t think he’d be with right now.” Neteyam speaks gently as he continues to pull you close, allowing you to sit on his lap. 

“So if he’s already chosen his mate, then he IS off limits.” You continue the game you’re playing, a giant smile spread across your face as your thumb rubs along his cheek. Finally caving in, you speak again “You really think the future Olo'eyktan would want to be with me? A little human?” You giggle like a school girl gossiping, pretending that you weren’t talking directly to him. 

“I think he would, definitely. In fact, I know he would.” Neteyam speaks, leaning forward and gently connecting your lips. You pause for a moment to relish in the moment, soft lips pressed against one another, breathing mixing together. You’re the first to move, sliding your lips against his. You can feel the rumbling growing in Neteyam’s chest, the purring that you love so much coming out. Moving closer, your chests press flush together, his arms wrapping around your back. 

The kiss consumes you, lights your skin on fire as his palms trail along your skin. It feels like your oxygen has been stolen from your lungs, Neteyam greedily taking it as he kisses you harder. Your hands find the back of his head, pulling him closer if it’s even possible at this point. You break the kiss, panting heavily as you fight to fill your lungs with air. 

“Nete, I can't. I can't be Tsahìk, I cannot lead the people.” You pull away, hands still cupping his face. Neteyam presses his cheek into your hold, a gentle smile plastered across his face. Your heart aches, thumbs gently rubbing across his cheeks. “You should look elsewhere-“

“You have a bond with Eywa, I see her with you all the time. You and the forest, her children, your mount, they are all special. You can. You have helped my grandmother from the day she allowed you to, you know how to heal and help. But if you don’t wish to, we will be simple weavers together-“ 

“Don’t.” Your voice cuts him off.

“Okay, hunters,”

“Neteyam!” 

“Songwriters?” 

“You have worked your whole life training, ensuring your place as leader. You will likely take over in just a few years time. I will not let you throw it away for me.” 

“I don't want to lead the people, if not with you.” He answers completely honestly, leaning forward to press your forehead together. “That life is not worth living.” His eyes fall closed as he relishes the feeling of your hold, holding him so closely, so delicately. “It is not the life I want. I don’t want to lead if you’re not by my side.” 

“Only if you want to, no pressure,” Neteyam mumbles against your lips. One of his palms leaves your skin, instead beginning to reach behind him for his tswin. He pulls it over his shoulder, resting it there and waiting for your reaction. Reaching back for yours, it’s a choice you’ve already made long before now. “Y/n, I see you.” Neteyam mumbles, trailing down his braid and watching as you mirror him. “I see you, I see every form of you, every body, my sweet mate.'' Connecting your kuru’s sends electricity down your spine, both of your pupils dilating as the connection is sealed, releasing your kurus. 

“Neteyam,” You mumble, hands immediately wrapping themselves around him and pulling him as close as possible. Your breathing is heavy, chest heaving against his as you stare into his eyes, both of your pupils giant. Your lips crash together, body seated securely on Neteyam’s lap as he pulls you close. “I need you, haaa fuck, I need you Neteyam.” You whine softly against his lips, pulling roughly on the ties around his hips. 

“I know, paskalin, I know.” Neteyam mumbles against your lips, reaching down to pull your hands back up. He places a soft kiss on your palm, “Relax, pretty. Wanna make you feel good, please you.” Neteyam speaks, hands wrapping around to hold your back. He's extremely strong, pushing both of your weights up to gently place you on your back. 

“Neteyam,” You whine, reaching back to try to pull at his ties. He easily dodges your prying fingers, pinning your hands to the soft moss underneath you. 

“Patience, Y/n,” He speaks softly but firm, “Want to do it right, want to mate you right,” He mumbles, beginning to kiss along your skin. An involuntarily whimper leaves when he makes his way down your neck, slowly getting closer and closer to where you need his touch. You pull softly on his grip, unable to break it. “Make you feel good, so you never want anyone else,”

“I don’t, never Neteyam,” Your voice breaks off into a whine as he nips at the soft flesh on your chest, reaching to untie your top. Goosebumps spread across your skin as he touches as he pleases, hands trailing from your thighs, up to your breast, and then back down to your thighs. Teasing, he’s teasing you. You whine as you squeeze his hips in between your thighs, pulling him closer. “I’ve only ever wanted you.” 

“You mean that?” He asks softly as he carefully takes a breast in his mouth, tongue gently lapping. He watches your reaction, gauges what you don’t like and do, and adjusts all of his movements perfectly. As he nips, a small cry falls past his lips. “You didn’t answer me, yawne.”

“Yes, yes I mean that.” You answer, body steadily heating as he makes his way in between your thighs, kneading the soft flesh. 

“So soft.” He bums to you, placing his head on your thighs as if they were a pillow. He's still teasing, unmoving as he looks up at you from where you want him. 

“Nete,” Your voice breaks, reaching down to pull softly at his braids, growing impatient. His palms rub along your skin soothingly, moving from your outer thighs, up to your hips where he grabs and holds. “Please, take it off,” You plead as be toys with the ties on the side of your hip, twirling them around his finger. 

“Of course, pretty.” Neteyam finally caves in, pulling your loincloth off carefully. You feel his heartbeat increase, pupils growing even more. Your adrenaline masks your embarrassment, wanting him more than ever. Neteyam peers up at you, a smirk playing on his lips as he watches your reaction. His breath fans over you, making your thighs tighten where they sit on his shoulders. “So pretty, so beautiful.” He mumbles, lightly licking along your heat. 

You can feel the lightning shoot up your back, a moan ripping through your throat. You can feel him inhale hard, nose pressed flat against your skin as he breathes in deeply. “Neteyam! Don’t!”

“Too good,” He ignores you, breathing in your scent in deep, greedy gulps. He ignores your whining, face buried as deep as possible into your cunt. 

“Neteyam, you need to rel-AH!” His arms wrap tight around your waist, dragging you along the ground. He pulls your hips easily up to his face, now kneeling and sitting on his feet. “Eywa, Nete,” A moan travels through the trees as you balance on your upper back, hands reaching down to grab his knees to try and talk sense into him. Your nails dig where they can reach, Neteyam lost to you as he licks, sucks, and flicks along your clit with ease you would expect from someone experienced. 

“Need you,” He moans into your pussy, only worsening your circumstances as he sends you closer to the edge. He moans into you, enjoying eating you out as if he was being pleasured currently. Your moans are impossible to hold back, whimpering, moaning, and crying out his name. “Taste better than, fuck, anything I’ve ever bad,” He growls, tightening his hold, folding his arms more. 

It’s ridiculous, how you’re positioned, completely helpless from his assault. Your knees are resting on his shoulder, accidentally flexing and sending you grinding against his face, a loud moan coming from both of you. “Do it again, ride my face,” Neteyam growls softly. 

You whimper as you do so, flexing your legs and consistently pulling your pussy across his face. When your legs begin shaking too badly to continue at the same pace, he picks up the slack for you. “Going to cum,” You cry, nails digging in deeper, beginning to break skin. He doesn’t even register the pain, desperate to get you there. 

“Cum, cum on my tongue,” He growls, never slowing his ministrations. You whimper as he pushes you closer and closer, legs beginning to tighten around his head. 

“Cumming, Nete,” You cry, head falling against the soft moss as you do so. Your legs tighten around his head, holding him there as you ride out the orgasm. They finally loosen when the overstimulation kicks in, unable to remain locked down. 

“So good, so pretty for me,” Neteyam coos, carefully moving your body so you’re once again laying flat on the ground. His palms soothe over your thighs, rubbing the shakes out where they sit around his hips. “So good, such a perfect mate for me, such a perfect girl,” He mumbles. 

“Nete, need you,” You whine, using the last bit of your strength to sit up. Your hands push softly at his shoulders, switching the positions as you straddle his hips once more. His loin cloth is stretched, body wanting you more than he could ever tell you. Your lips crash against his, tasting yourself on his face. Heat immediately spreads across your cheeks, slight embarrassment, as you fumble with his ties. This time, he lets you. 

“You okay, pretty?” Neteyam coos as you untie him, eyes never leaving your face. His hands slide along your hips, making their way in between your thighs once again. “Are you going to be able to take me, hmm?” His voice has a slight teasing tone, but you know there’s concern underneath it as well. Your head falls forward as he slowly sinks a finger into your heat, allowing your face to nestle in his shoulder. 

“I want you, Neteyam. I want your cock,” You complain softly, body aching with want. 

“I know, but I don't want you to hurt yourself,'' Neteyam has a purr rumbling in his chest. He cares for you, so deeply, even as he tortures himself with the amount of restraint he’s exercising. Another whine is pulled past your lips as another finger slips in, curling to hit just right. “There it is, there you go,” Neteyam coos as you turn to putty in his hold, fingers exactly where you need him. He stretches you thoroughly, to his liking. Pleasure shoots through your spine, mind melting. “Okay, you got this,” He smiles at you, fingers rubbing comforting circles on your hips. 

Your shaky hands line him up, excitement and nerves shooting through your body. Your breathing is uneven as you sink down, panting as you sink down to the base, hips pressed together. “Fuck, fuck,” Neteyam pants, one of his hands holding your hips and encouraging you to grind against him. It draws soft moans from the two of you, the spiritual and physical connection between the two of you making your mind feel fuzzy, almost numb. “You’re doing so good for me, my sweet mate. Taking me so well, taking it so well.” He encourages, gently rocking up into you. 

“My mate, my mighty warrior.” You pant, gathering all of the strength you still have to rock yourself along his cock, doing your best to take all of him each time. Neteyam feels feral as you pant on top of him, thighs shaking on either side of his hips. Only he can make you feel like this, only he can see you in this state, all for him. You’re taking him so well, so warm and welcoming as you coax him inside with each thrust. You’re so close, holding his body completely flush against yours. All of his senses are full of you, one hand holding your back and the other has a death grip on your hip. 

“So good to me, all for me, only for me.” Neteyam continues to encourage you, your whimpers and mewls filling his ears as you hide in his shoulder. Possessiveness grows, consumes him as you shudder into him, his sweet mate. He's never felt like this, his skin hot, a strong desire growing in his chest. 

“Want to cum, Nete.” You’re so sensitive, so hot just because of him. You whimper, words slurred as you fight to think even the slightest bit straight. Your arms are wrapped around him for purchase, the only thing providing you stability as you grind down on his cock. Your small whimpers and moans fill your ears, making you flush red in embarrassment. Biting them back, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip is the best you can manage. Neteyam picks it up instantly, both due to your connection and his ears alerting him.

“What is it, my mate?” Neteyam draws, not able to use the term enough. “Not feeling good anymore?” The confidence and smugness oozes from each work, he knows the answers to his questions before he even asks. “Don’t want to give me your little whines anymore?” Neteyam knows what he’s doing, punctuating the end of his sentence with a gentle snap up of his hips. A broken sob falls from your lips, mewls and whines quickly following it. “There she is, are you going to come for me? Let me hear you, yawne. Use me to make yourself feel good, pretty.” 

His voice is intoxicating, feels like you’re on drugs as you pant and whine on top of him. Your hips grind down, no longer bouncing as you whimper as his tip repeatedly hits where you want him, where you need him. Neteyam happily allows you, fondness growing stronger as you do as you please, following his instructions. It doesn’t feel as good to him this way, but god damn it, seeing you in this state easily makes up for it. 

“Feels good, hm?” He asks softly, words muffled by your hair as you pull him close. One hand slides down, gently circling the little bud that he knows makes you tick. 

“Ah, ah, gonna cum for you, Nete,” Your voice mewls, soft pants breaking up your words as you ride him how you like. Your thighs are shaking worse now, chasing your high like nothing else matters. “Can I cum, please?” 

“Of course,” His abs clench hard as he fights off his orgasm, your pussy clenching hard around him as you become more sensitive. His restraint is wearing thin, patience being tested like never before. As you teeter closer, his fingers circle just the slightest bit faster. And you’re cumming around him, hard. His own lips part with a moan as you squeeze his length, shaky thighs continuing to move as your determination to ride it out takes over. Your pants fill his senses, heartbeat filling his own chest, minds molding together. 

Eventually, your hips slow, one hand quickly grabbing and pulling his wrist away from your heat. “Nete,” You whimper, squeezing around him. Your arms wrap around his back, chests flush together. “Want you to feel good,” 

“I am, yawne.” Neteyam smiles at you, rolling his hips up into you. “Wanted you to feel good, first.'' His voice is gentle as he maneuvers the both of you. Your back hits the ground once again, Neteyam still in between your thighs as he follows close. “Absolutely killing me, doing all I can to hold myself back,” A small growl rumbles through his chest, pressing his hips against you, filling you as deep as possible. “Absolutely losing it,” He growls as he pulls out, snapping his hips forward. You moan, loud. 

“Don’t hold back, feel good, Neteyam.” You whimper, his palms slipping underneath your thighs. Your breath catches as he hikes your legs up, hands meeting the bend of your knees as he folds you. 

“I'm sorry, yawne,” Neteyam moans softly, pressing his forehead against yours as he absolutely ravishes you. His hips snap hard into you, no longer holding back as he chases his own release. You moan loudly against his lips, not quite kissing, but lips brushing together. He groans and growls, eyes falling shut as he slams his hips into you, filling your cunt completely up each time. 

Your noises are unrelenting, unable to bite them back as pleasure shoots through your body with each thrust. Neteyam is feral, chasing the high that he’s edged himself off of for the last hour. “Neteyam, gonna cum, you feel too good,” You whimper, biting at your lips as you peel your eyes open to look at him. Your arms shakily move, clawing softly at his back. 

“Cum, cum for me.” Neteyam mumbles, “Gonna cum with you this time, okay paskalin?” He asks softly, pressing a shaky kiss to your cheek. His hips twitch and abs tighten as he focuses on how tight you’re wrapped around him, twitching and clenching down harder as you’re about to cum for him once more. “Gonna fill you up, okay? Put a future clan leader into you,” He groans harshly, feral, animalistic. “My baby, you’ll be a good mama for me,” 

“Nete, oh fuck,” You cry, cumming hard around his cock. A broken sob falls from your lips, face leaning forward. Before you even have a moment to think of it, your teeth sink deep into his shoulder, your mating bite. Neteyam shudders as you mark him, hips continuing as he fucks you through your orgasm, soon spilling into you. 

“Fuck, fuck yawne, good girl,” Neteyam groans, letting go of one of your legs and holding your head. He doesn’t pull you away, but relieves the strain on your neck as you bite into him. His hips slow, every now and then thrusting into you as he fucks his cum deeper into your pussy. 

You release your hold, pulling your fangs out of his skin. Laying back down, there’s blood and drool on your lips, eyes glazed over as you stare up at him. Neteyam lazily thrusts once or twice more, overstimulation kicking in before he’s slowly pulling out. “Paskalin, you okay?” He mumbles gently, carefully moving your legs to a more comfortable position. Kissing your forehead, you begin to come back, more aware of his words. “You did so well,”

“Neteyam, I see you,” You can’t help but smile at him. Your heart is so full, so fond, as your eyes water. “I love you,” It’s more human, Neteyam isn’t entirely familiar with it. 

“I love you too,” Regardless, he doesn’t miss a beat, “I see you.” Neteyam nuzzles his face into you, arms wrapping around your back as he lays down, pulling you close. “We are mated for life, I am with you now.”

little extra lol

A couple of days have passed since then, and Neteyam has never felt so secure and confident in his life. His father was a bit upset he didn’t get the run down before like his mother did, but nothing serious. Kiri and Lo’ak saw it coming, and Tuk? She’s just as excited as Neteyam. You’ve started your official Tsahìk training now, alongside copious amounts of support from the Sully family. 

While he is your #1 supporter, he can’t help but feel annoyed that he’s barely seen you the last couple of days. His mate, and they only meet after sunset for rest. He hasn’t even seen your little human body in days, always falling asleep with your Avatar and your human form staying at the lab (It’s easier, you start training extremely early in the morning.) 

He almost cries from relief when you wake him, small human body basically sitting on his chest. “Nete, I have a day off,” You grin, still shaking him slightly. The excitement quickly shoots south, but in a surprising way. He can feel your heartbeat, it’s as if you were back to the night you had officially become one. But you were human. 

“Y/n?” He mumbles, thinking he’s still half asleep. As he sits up and becomes more aware, he’s not imagining it. “I see you,” 

“I see you-“ 

“No, I see you.” He mumbles, placing his hand over his heart. “Like we’re connected, I can feel your heartbeat right now…” Neteyam thinks hard, and he thinks hard for hot minute, “Like, our tsaheylu works even in your human body, I feel you, sense you,” 

Neteyam’s mind runs fuzzy at the realization, big head falling into the crook of your neck and taking a deep, long inhale of your scent. He's suddenly way too aware of you sitting in his lap, small frame draped over his much, much larger one. “Y/n,” He groans, deep as his arms wrap around you, caging you in. His hands knead at your soft flesh, well-fed, healthy, fertile. His mind absolutely reels at the thought, the embodiment of fertility. 

“Neteyam, we can’t,” You mumble against his skin, voice close to his ear, goosebumps spreading. He knows why, he does. As his frame easily hides your entire body just with his torso, he knows. He’d break you, truly. “I can link with my-“ 

“No, no.” He shakes his head, palms groping at the soft meat of your thighs. He doesn’t want your Avatar, he wants you. He feels this body, he’s connected not with your bodies, but with you. The thought sends him. 

“Nete, I physically can't,” There’s humor in your words, a slight giggle as you pull away to peer at him. His pupils are giant, mind cloudy as he stares at you. You chuckle, hands pulling at your mask. With one deep breath, you pull it off. 

“What are you-“ His panicked tone is quickly cut off when your lips press against his, soft and careful. It doesn’t help his situation, lips so unbelievably soft where they’re connected with his own. His mind melts, eagerly kissing you back as if he was starved from it. He whines, a genuine sound, when you pull back, yanking your mask on quickly. 

“You worry a lot,”

“I worry for you,” Neteyam rolls his eyes. Maybe if he ignores you, and his unbelievable attraction for you, the tightness in his cloth will go away. It's all wishful thinking, impossible thinking, given how you’re currently straddling his thighs. “You have to give me a bit to calm down, yawne. I can't do it with you sitting like this,” He whines, growing uncomfortable with each passing second. 

“Why can’t I help you?” You whine, leaning forward to wrap your arms around his neck, a small pout on your face. 

“Because I’m scared I will lose it and hurt you,”

“You’d never hurt me, Nete,” It’s a genuine statement, both of you know it. “Not in a way I didn’t want, anyway,” 

“Yawne,” He groans, “Not helping.”

“C’mon, let’s go find somewhere private.” You almost have it in you to laugh at him when you climb off his lap, a genuine crazed look in his eyes. 

“Do you not feel it in this body?” Neteyam asks as he runs after you, picking you up to more easily scale home tree. You think for a couple of moments, shrugging. 

“I think I feel it all the time, I thought it was normal,” You answer him honestly, arms and legs wrapped around his body as he climbs and runs. His ikran meets him hastily, and he’s taking off before he even asks you if you’d like to sit on the saddle instead. 

“Maybe I couldn’t tell because I haven't seen you in this body in awhile,” He concludes as he lands, hoping down with you still death gripped to his back. “Been killing me, Y/n. It’s like torture, being away from you for so long,” He whines, immediately turning to wrap you in his hold when your feet touch the soft grass. He kneels carefully, more level with you as he continues the dramatics. “Missed your little human body tripping over sticks,” He teases, knowing the sticks are logs for you. His head finds itself against your chest, listening to the way your heart beats. 

“Oh the drama,” You laugh, making yourself comfortable when you sit down. “Can't kiss you in this body, it’s unfair,” You complain as you lay down, knowing Neteyam is soon to find his place in between your thighs. It takes almost no time, legs widening to accommodate the large Na’vi. 

“We can work out a system,” He really wants to kiss you, “Deep breath,” He barely lets you finish before he pulls the mask off, immediately slamming his lips against your own. He’s desperate and needy, the feeling only multiplying as you’re finally close. He can feel the heat in between your legs, making him lose his judgment. He kisses you as if his life depends on it for a bit, before his care for your well-being overrides his thoughts and he’s placing the mask back on. “Fuck, just missed you so much,” He grins, trailing down to your chest as he kisses along your sensitive and thin skin. It’s like torture when he trails down, his mind melting as his fingers trail over the edge of your own beaded cloth. 

“It’s okay Nete,” You’re quick to reassure, watching as he immediately takes the go ahead and unties it. Wasting no time at all, he genuinely wastes no time as his head immediately buries in between your legs. “NETEYAM, FUCK!” You yelp, his giant head occupying all of the space. He's starved, so starved, and he eats to reflect that. You’re cumming once then again, then again, and then- 

“One more for me paskalin, just too good, tastes too good, it’ll be the last one,” 

Once his face finds its way out, he’s absolutely covered in your arousal and cum. His fingers find his own cloth, an idea popping in his head, “Do you trust me, love?” 

“Of course,” He grins softly, allowing himself to finally be free of his constraint. He moans softly at that alone, so turned on, so drunk on you that his mind is definitely not working to its full capacitors. He whines loud as he slides in between your legs, big, angry cock easily slipping through your wet folds. You whimper as his tip brushes your sensitive clit, continuing to push past it until your hips are flush together. He moans, loud, when he looks down, angry cock just barely nudging at your breasts. 

“I'd break you, yawne,” He growls softly, sliding his hips back before snapping them forward, “I'd break this little body,” He lets out more of a whine when you squeeze your thighs together, giving him more friction, more touch. “But oh, you’d be so full, stuffed full of my cock,” He groans, shuddering slightly on top of you. 

“I know, Nete,” You whimper back softly, losing your mind as he fucks himself against your pussy, shuttering each time he slips into where your thighs squeeze. He genuinely would, likely fuck up your lungs and all vital organs in the process. 

You’re absolutely soaked from his touch, providing more than enough lubrication for him as he easily slides between your lips, constantly hitting your clit right where you need it. It’s obscene, the sounds it’s making, you would think he’s fucking into you. “Nete,” You whimper, hands pulling at his arms to try and get him closer. He obliges happily, leaning forward to press himself against

you. He whines loudly, cock in between either of your bodies. “Love you,”

“Love you too, paskalin,” He smiles softly, kissing the top of your head, “I’m gonna cum for you, hm?” He smiles, watching your face as you eagerly nod. “Deep breath for me, pretty girl,” He grins hard, a giant smile on his face as you follow his instructions. He carefully pulls your mask off, wasting no time in slamming his lips onto yours. He devours your whines, whimpers, and moans, greedily taking them as his hips continue to pump against you. He kisses you until he cums, getting lost in the feel of your lips against his. You whimper as you feel him moan into your mouth, hands beginning to press against his biceps. 

“My mate,” You whimper, reaching for his hand that still holds your mask. He quickly gets the message, placing it back onto your face. 

“Yawne, my girl,” He sighs softly, hips still grinding against yours as he rides out his high with you. “Need you to cum again,” He mumbles against your lips, knowing you weren’t able to cum with him. “Just one more, one more. This will be the last, I promise love,” He almost babbles against your skin, kissing it. 

“I can't, Neteyam,” You whine as his hands trail in between your legs, gently spreading your thighs to allow for more access. Your thighs are no match for his strength, whimpering gently when his fingers ghost across your clit. 

“You can, yawne, for me, please?” He grins softly, a bit of a smirk spreading across his face. The smile never leaves his face as your hands grip hard at his wrists, discoloring his skin from the pressure. Neteyam is obsessed with the way your skin flushes for him, puffy swollen lips parting as he fingers slide in between them. He could watch it for hours, sit here and please you for hours if you’d let him. 

A moan rips past your lips when two of his digits slip into your heat, filled to the brim from just his fingers. Your nails dig into his skin, clenching down around him almost impossibly tight. His eyes are narrowed in, mesmerized as his fingers disappear into you. Neteyam curls his fingers just right, an even louder moan. Your hips jerk hard, legs lifting and wrapping around his arms. “Feels too good,” You whine, thighs locking around him. 

“Cum for me, Y/n,” He groans, prying your legs apart and replacing it with his head. The pleasure is still too much, legs wrapping around his head as his mouth and fingers never cease for a second. 

“Gonna cum for you, gonna cum hard,” You groan, flexing slightly as you grind against his face. Your orgasm blinds you when it washes over you, legs shaking, chest rising and falling rapidly, stomach clenching hard as you rise up. You cum hard, squirting as Neteyam’s fingers still curl and grind into your soft walls. Neteyam has a crazed look on his face, eyes wide as he stares up at you. He's covered in your cum and arousal, just like you're covered in his currently. 

“Y/n,”

“Neteyam I’m sorry I’ve never done-“ 

“Do it again,”

“No, please, Nete,” You whimper loudly, as his fingers curl just right, pleasure washing over you just right. It takes the last bit of your energy, cumming all over his arm in waves as you shake in his hold. Your hands immediately pull his face out from your thighs as you calm him down. He slowly relents, gentle as he removes himself from you. 

“Thank you, my mate,” He smiles, “Love you so much,”

“Love you too,”

“Come, let’s go clean up,” He’s careful as he picks you up, leaving your items where they lay. He carefully makes his way over to the river, slowly stepping in as you hold onto his neck, legs wrapped around his torso. A giant smile spreads across your face as he lowers the both of you in, water up to your necks now. 

“I'm sorry I’ve been so busy recently, Neteyam,” You smile, pushing back some braids that have fallen from his efforts. “Trying hard to get everything quickly,” You grin, hand softly holding his cheek in your hold, “So I can be a good Tsahìk for the people, for you,” 

“I know you will,” He speaks softly, allowing his head to fall forward, pressing his forehead against yours, “I understand, I just miss you,” He instinctively curls into your touch where it rests on his cheek. 

“I miss you too, your grandmother asks me about you sometimes. She told me Eywa sees us,”

“Oh, is that so?” He entertains you, smiling when he pulls back. He's standing, but you’re solely relying on him to not have to tread the water and use up what little energy you have left. “What does she wanna know?” 

“Eh, you know. The basic grandma stuff, if you’re eating well, staying safe,” You smile, cupping some of the water and dragging it along his face. You clean him up, leaning back in his embrace when you’re satisfied with the job. His arms hold you, hands splayed across your back. “If you’re happy these days.”

“Of course I am, yawne, I have you,” His voice is sincere and gentle as he pulls you close, tucking your head into his shoulder as he holds the base of your neck. “All I need.”

@rainbowsocks @nerys-nerie bc you guys commented on the other post, luv uuuu

[duskfel]

More Entropy lore, perchance?

Entropy lore, you say? Sure, why not.

Have I mentioned yet what happened to his timeline’s Frisk? The butterfly effect hits them some of the hardest out of anyone.

I’ve talked a bit about how Entropy originally comes from an alternate Undertale timeline with only a few notable differences, but it’s those differences that “butterfly” into huge changes. (For simplicities sake, I refer to Entropy as Sans in this post because he’s still Sans then)

One of these changes is Gaster never falls into the core.

I’ve always headcanoned that Gaster falling into the core is what causes Sans and Papyrus to move to Snowdin in canon. Therefore, in this timeline, they never move to Snowdin, and Sans never gets a job as a sentry as he stays working in the lab.

When Frisk falls into the underground, this subtle difference wildly changes how the story goes. Papyrus does end up a sentry, but not in Snowdin, so there’s no puzzles, no one to “watch over them”, nothing. Just the struggle of the loyal dog guards who don’t show any of the mercy Papyrus does. Think about how different it would be without those two: no hotdog healing items, no interactions at Grillby’s, no Papyrus influence in Frisk’s interactions with Undyne, so on.

(Continues under cut)

This leads to many resets. Sans and Gaster are very aware of the (essentially) time travel Frisk is doing, and they’re studying it behind the scenes. Sans has more of an awareness of the resets than most monsters (the leading theory they had on why is because Sans’s “teleporting” ability is nearly time travel itself—I will spare you my science rant on why that is for now—but it allows him to keep time-altered memories better than others.)

As it turns out, time loops are miserable; who knew? There’s a particular existential dread built upon the idea of a cycle, especially one that is so out of your control, and always inevitable. To have predestination is to have a lack of influence or meaning in both what you do, and what happens to you. It’s no surprise the knowledge of eternal repetition leads to nihilism and the feeling nothing will ever matter. After all, for Sans, it’s true: nothing he does matters. The resets keep happening. They keep researching, and they learn new things, but never how to stop it.

Sans goes to work every day because it’s inertia at this point: to get up and go to the lab, tracking where in the timeline they are in that moment. It would take more energy to stop than to just do it. He’d have to figure out what to tell his boss, Gaster, who refuses to give up and desperately confides in Sans, the only one who understands. He doesn’t even begin to know what he’d say to Papyrus.

So he doesn’t. Sans flows through life and gets thrown around and bashed against the walls of the river of relentless time. He fights Frisk once (or is it twice? Three times? How long has it been now? Sans doesn’t know) during genocide runs, because Sans is still the judge.

Sometimes they even get to the surface.

It doesn’t matter, because they always end up back underground.

Until one day, Frisk dies somewhere early on in a run, and never resets.

Sans waits for them to return. He’s gotten good at waiting. That’s all he’s good at these days. But Frisk doesn’t come back. They died somewhere silently where no one could get their soul.

They are underground, and they continue to be underground.

Sans has been bit by daring to hope far too many times to count. So he lives out his days expecting each morning to be a reset. He lives assuming nothing still matters.

One month, no reset. Okay, been there done that.

Two months.

Six.

A year.

They’re not coming back this time. It takes longer than it should to realize (he doesn’t know what day it is half the time anyway).

Time is going to continue. For real this time.

What are they supposed to do now?

And I’ll leave it at that for now. (Boy I really can’t write anything short, can I? I even skipped a lot of stuff here. This is theoretically only a portion of the “prologue” to his story. The main story and what I’d consider writing/drawing/doing-whatever-with happens a while later.)

[bagelsand-creamcheemse]

Friendly reminder that even if voting seems hopeless and like yours won’t do anything, you should still 10000% get out and do it tomorrow if you haven’t already. This election is not just a fight for the presidency but so so so many other positions. Your vote for local candidates, which you absolutely should be paying attention to, I PROMISE will count far more than you expect.

My local school board has three places in the running this year: each of them has 1 super normal candidate (2 of which are incumbents that have done a great job so far) and 1 batshit crazy opponent. the cuckoo-for-coco-puffs candidates are as follows:

1) a guy who was at the jan 6 insurrection and is running his campaign on essentially “lgbt and dei ideology is destroying student’s brains and opportunities” and the only way to fix the system is to go back to the good ol days and stop limiting “normal” students or whatever.

2) a white christian nationalist who has openly said she was christian nationalist “and that should tell you where I stand on most things” and supports extensive book banning and also going back to the good ol days.

3) a guy who is potentially less cuckoo for coco puffs but is still an absolute dingus that has literally no idea what’s going on. his campaign statements for various publications include a lot of “oh I don’t know how they’re doing things these days but I think we need to fix something. when I was on the board ten years ago we did it like X, but I dunno what they’ve done in the time since then or what it’s like now. I just know parents don’t seem to feel heard. we should change that.” with zero examples of any details or plans on how that would be achieved.

I can’t remember if that last guy is endorsed by them or not but I know that Moms for Liberty have endorsed the first two for sure, which is more than enough evidence for me to not want them in office even if I didn’t already know any of the above other stuff. (if you don’t know who Moms for Liberty are, they’re a group advocating for the removal of any mention of LGBTQ+ rights, gender and sexuality, critical race theory, race & ethnicity, discrimination, and more from school curriculums, and, as far as I can tell, were also initially formed to fight mask and vaccine mandates during COVID.)

If you think the climate is not as bad locally as it is nationally I can assure you that is not the case. I never would have imagined my city specifically — an average sized one with its own pride festival located in the greater hub of an even bigger left-wing metropolis — to have anyone like the three above to be seriously in the running. And yet here we are. The difference here is that there are far less constituents in a local election than there are nationwide, and a single voice weighs infinitely more here.

Research your local ballots and throw your support behind those who would support you — don’t let crazy people who hate your guts to get into your local school board or in a local judiciary position just because you didn’t feel like it would matter. Those are the people who will be making education decisions for your friends and families, who will be presiding over any cases that you and yours get involved in over the years of this next term.

You can’t always rely on the party markers on the ballots either — your area may have non partisan school board or judicial districts, which would only list the names of those running and nothing more. Sometimes a polling location will have party representatives set up outside to tell you which candidate falls under their party endorsement, but not every location will.

If you don’t know where to start for research, getting a sample ballot from your county’s website and just searching the names on it and going to their campaign websites to evaluate their policy statements (and check for any dog whistles) is always a really simple start. If your town/city/county has an active subreddit or facebook group, there may be people who have posted more candidate/campaign information there. If you live in Texas like I do, the League of Women Voters of Texas is a good resource for basic voter guides as well.

Please don’t let the doom and gloom mindset prevent you from having an active say in the people who represent you and make decisions for your community. With the way the political climate is right now, it may be a decision that haunts you for years. Get out and vote tomorrow.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

When Buddie go dating!

Look the maroon blazer from the sneak peek had me spiralling hard last night so I decided to take a look at Eddie And Buck when they try dating because as I said in my other post - Eddie wearing a shade of red in connection with a first date - doesn’t bode well for the relationship!!!

Eddie

If we went with the very strict definition of a first date then the only ones we’d have are Ana and the new one, however I’ve included a couple of other instances that I think re also first date adjacent enough to count!

In chronological order we have

2x04

I’ve included this one because when we have Eddie rocking up to Bucks to ‘help Maddie move - its important to remember that at this point Buck doesn’t know Eddie is still married to Shannon. Eddie thinks Buck has set him up on a date when Buck says he lied about helping Maddie move - if it was that kind of set up it wasn’t going to end well!

2x10

This one is a two parter - Eddie worrying about hooking up with Shannon and letting her back into Christophers life - worrying about essentially dating her again and if its what is best for Chris.

followed up by Chris telling Eddie what his Christmas wish is - to have his mother back - and Eddie therefore deciding to let Shannon back in. I know this isn’t technically a first date (either scene) but it is the moment that the relationship is rekindled properly - the moment we see Eddie make the decision to date her again - for Chris.

4x06

first date with Ana (need I say more!!)

6x14

And now this date non date where Eddie was going to let her down gently but she beats him to the punch!

Eddie doesn’t wear maroon or burgundy all that often. We get a couple connected with the fight club arc and the only other times we see Eddie in maroon/burgundy are in familial moments - seeing Chris off to summer camp or when Buck comes over in 6x12 - its not a colour he wears often.

Buck

Then we have Buck. who doesn’t wear maroon or burgundy on first dates but he does wear black and the same thing happens - they don’t go well for him or the relationships don’t go well.

1x06

He’s wearing a black tie with his suit for his date with Abby and we all know how that ended up!

1x09

This is a second attempt at a first date so I’m including it - it also doesn’t end very well

2x08

His first date with Ali sees him in a black knit polo. I haven’t included his hook ups with Taylor that precede this - because they are just that hook-ups - they are not an intention to date, they are spontaneous things that happen and Taylor doesn’t want anything more at this point even if Buck would’ve!

4x07

Eddies dating Ana so Buck starts dating to - this one with Veronica goes super well for him!!! He’s wearing a black jacket during the date and we then don’t ee him in it after the date is over and he runs into her again.

4x08

Taylor still wants to just hook-up but Buck thinks he’s on a double date - a detail he didn’t mention to Taylor. this ‘date’ also goes really well for him!! Buck is wearing a black button up/down shirt (I can’t remember which it is) 

6x13

And then we have Poker date - where Buck is wearing a black shirt again Buck thinks its just going to be him and Eddie going out and playing a bit of poker - very date like! Only then Julie Rosen is there and things spiral outwards from then on. Buck has a great time winning etc. but the way the script plays out it reads like Buck expected a date of some sort and he thinks he misunderstood the assignment! this black shirt burgundy blazer being followed by Eddie in the same outfit to a date that his date makes into a note date is making me cackle!

So there we have it. I’m very much expecting any further dates Eddie goes on to involve him wearing maroon or burgundy and any Buck goes in to involve black.

When we see them go on an actual first date together - I think we’ll see them in colours closer to those we see them in around each other in everyday environments - so a combination of green and blue, and possibly some cream or yellow, but no white (on Buck) or black or red. 

[kankuroplease]

Ik it’s pretty early to be asking this, especially since we didn’t even get to the point of her existing- kakuzu x Riki hc wise- but could you share some sycee hcs

I’ve had some time to think about her/what her life may be like, so I do have some headcons

Sycee named after an ignot because Kakuzu chose it.

Shortly after her birth, Riki took her to Konoha to visit her mother’s grave and claim her sword for Sycee.

She was an eerily easy baby, only fussing when she was hungry or needed to be changed

Very observant of her surroundings as a young child

Listening to the wildlife all around and people watching

That’s how she figured out their family isn’t the norm

Most mother’s aren’t mixing poisons in their kitchens/let their kids sample them and most fathers weren’t taking their daughters on bounty hunts

She was given some independence as long as she followed her parents rules; 1. Give no personal information 2. Stay out of villages 3. Always carry a weapon with her 4. Don’t hesitate to kill someone that wants to harm you 5. Don’t follow them when they’re working

She struggled making friends because of how mature she acted and her training compared to the countryside civilians. Play tag? Why? What’s the goal. Want to sword fight instead?

Her being so young and curious led her to break rules 2 and 5, which ultimately led to her being held hostage

She doesn’t remember much but the man’s blade pressing against her face, the burning pain of it cutting her flesh and the rain of blood falling on her.

The thick scent of iron while she slipped on blood soaked stones and stepping over bodies still haunt her dreams

She later learned that her life came at the cost of many innocent people that day and the guilt of that eats away at her

But after those events and her parents war path to retrieve her, Riki would bring Sycee to join Madara in the cave.

She hates being cold, the dark, and she doesn’t know her grandfather so of course she hates it

Listening to her mother and grandfather talk about these delusional ideologies and plans would frighten her

Not as much as Zetsu did though 💀 that creature can stay FAR over there

Honestly helped her develop her poker face and ability to remain silent

On one hand, she’s sure she can tell her father she wants to stay with him, but on the other she’s not old enough to hold her own and not be a burden during his hunts, so she’s essentially stuck

Fhl

The only silver lining were the times her mother would take her to stay with her father which, thankfully, was a regular occurrence

When grandfather brings home a half crushed boy, she really wants nothing to do with the whole situation

But she is curious enough to watch the bandaging process

Noting how her mother’s attitude started to change after this new kid arrived

Telling her she needs to train harder and always doing that that hand fidget thing she does when lost in thought, more and more

Sycee followed her mother’s wishes and did train harder to put her at ease, but she drew the line at telling her anything she overheard

She actually easily amused and giggled whenever Obito had a little freak out before going silent again

By then, Sycee knew about the Akatsuki, her parent’s involvement, and Madara’s plans for an “ideal” world

And she wants nothing to do with it or the war it would bring. The nightmares from the aftermath of her hostage situation make it so she never wants to be responsible for the lose of innocence

She counted the days until she could claw her way out of the hellmouth she was born into

Once she was old enough, she moved to Amegakure simply to cooperate on a surface level, but avoided actually joining the Akatsuki/her parents suspicions

Working as an assassin, she takes on the worst of the worst. Earning her a reputation as someone with a death wish, but truly it’s just she can’t bring herself to kill someone who doesn’t deserve it

She even was able to make friends with a few of the working women around Ame, who get a thrill out of hearing about her missions

They gave her a copy of icha icha which she threw out her window in shock after finding out it was THAT kind of book.

She wouldn’t be self conscious about her scar anymore, but she also doesn’t like the attention and questions it brings

It’s the most free she’s felt in a long time. With the only downside being she doesn’t hear many crickets or see a lot of butterflies

Occasionally teaming up with her father, just to see him.

Often combining her wind and fire chakra’s to create large fire whirls to capture and incinerate their targets no Kakuzu isn’t happy if the body isn’t identifiable, but she’s also working here

Ignoring Hidan as much as humanly possible. As a result, he thinks she’s hard of hearing

Neither Kakuzu or Sycee correct this assumption and just share knowing glances

Or Sycee will just give him the middle finger

[fluffyfelixx]

Distraction (SFW) (Young Justice)

Summary: Wally just couldn't have his friend sulking anymore. He needed to do something about it.

Word Count: 1,460

Author's Note: Hi! Here's me ignoring canon stuff again... Basically imagine this taking place during season 3 when Dick really starts to have his leadership role solidified. And Wally is still here! (God I miss him...) Also beware, this is like super cheesy, I just felt like writing a bit more of a simple plot.

Also, hello to my 9 followers! Wow! I'm back after like.. exactly a year. I am so sorry you guys, thank you for sticking around. The past year to now is the most busy I have ever been, I got a full time job and it's really taking up my life. I used to be able to write so much more... I'm gonna be so slow now... But... I'll do my best!!! This is one I've had for like 2 years, I just cleaned it up because I really want to post... Next I need to actually finish my sequel Wri/Neuv fic...

-------------------------------------------------------

Dick had been in his room at the base for quite some time, sulking, after their latest mission didn’t go so well. Various members of the team tried to visit, wanting to check on him, and he would send them away.

Eventually, Wally had enough, and phased through the molecules in the wall to his room, appearing inside, wanting him to feel better already. “Hey, man!”

“Wh-” Dick was sitting on the floor. He started, surprised to see him. “Oh. Wally, I appreciate you, but… Please leave me alone.”

“But I don’t want to! You’re all mopey and I can’t have that. I hate it when the team gets like this. It was just a mission!”

“...I…” He trailed off, not sure what to say in response.

“Well, I brought you some stuff!" Wally held up the bag he was carrying. "Snacks and drinks. I got your favorites!"

Dick looked at him with appreciation. "I don't want those right now, but thank you."

“Okay.” Wally put the bag onto the table next to his bed, then sat down on the floor next to him.

Dick sighed. “Do you want something?”

“Just to see if you were okay. You need a distraction! Come on, what would get you up and about?”

“...” He was honestly blindsided.. Wally had a way of being vehemently supportive without really trying.

“Come ooon!” He reached and put his hand on Dick’s shoulder and squeezed, trying to be comforting, which caused him to flinch and jolt slightly. Wally noticed and took his hand back, apologising. Dick waved it away.

After seeing his reaction to being touched, something in the back of Wally's mind came forward. He acted on it, knowing he’d probably get chewed out later, but.. It would be worth it.

“Well, fine. If you’re not gonna try to feel better… I have to do this myself!”

Wally essentially pounced on him, knocking them both flat, but he scrambled up and sat on top of Dick’s legs, pinning him down. Dick stared at him, adrenaline causing him to freeze. Wally grinned at him.

Dick started to try to say something, maybe a plea, as he figured out what was happening. But Wally acted fast- because of course he did- and got right to it, giving Dick no chance of preparation. He started prodding his fingertips into his ribs through his thin muscle shirt. Dick inhaled sharply, trying to jerk away, but unfortunately didn't get anywhere.

Wally exclaimed gleefully, “Yes! It works!” He stopped to grab onto Dick’s wrists together and hold them against the floor as best he could.

Dick was nervous, he knew exactly what was coming. He was already getting flustered, “Whatever you think you're gonna achieve by this… Don't…” He started trying to take his wrists out of Wally’s grasp, but he was so focused on what he might do next that he couldn't fully concentrate on removing himself.

“Aha! So you don’t want me to keep going! Which means it affects you! Maybe a lot!” Wally grinned and started prodding into his ribs again.

Dick yelped, “No, no! Stop–” and twisted about some more. It was increasingly difficult to do much of anything with the sensation setting his nerves on fire. He couldn't help it, a wobbly smile started to force its way onto his face.

Wally squeezed up and down Dick’s side, and he convulsed as he desperately tried to stay quiet, the feeling building in his chest. When Wally started to vibrate his fingers, Dick couldn’t resist anymore and broke instantly, tossing his head back, strangled laughter and protests spilling out of him. “AH-! Ahah- Hahahahahaha!! Nooohohoho, don't!! Wally!"

“Aww, there, was that so hard?” Wally asked, nonchalant.

Dick honestly didn't know when the last time he experienced this was. He acted confident as much as he could, but he was still insecure about quite a few things… This was so embarrassing. Wally had such an advantage with his speed, this vibration was way too much. And he was just really good at this! It was so unfair.

He continued to squirm, not able to do much else. Normally, he would have easily rolled away or some such thing, but it was impossible to put effort into it in his current state. He was just.. So... Embarrassed...

Wally targeted his stomach next, digging into his abs, flimsy shirt doing nothing to protect him, and Dick shook his head, jolting reflexively, his voice raising in pitch, laughter leaving him in fits. “NO, nonono!! HaHA- Ahahahaha!! Wal- HAH- Wally! St-Stohohohop!! AHahahaa- Get ohohohohoff!!”

He could hardly think about anything except how much he wanted to get away, but he was rendered pretty useless by the torment.

“You know, I didn’t think this would work so well,” Wally said casually, changing it up and going lighter, skittering his fingers up and down. “I thought for sure you were stronger than me.”

The change of feeling sent him into uncontrollable giggles. "Nonononono- HEHhehehehehe-" He managed to get out, “Sh- Shut-" It was really hard to talk. “Sh- hEH- Shut up!!” He was too busy trying to curl into a ball to come up with something better.

“Oh, yeah?” Wally smirked. “Says the guy squirming around helplessly. You aren’t even trying to push me off or anything!”

Dick couldn't retort, and all but screeched as Wally had started attacking his abs again, making his way down to his hips, then shifted himself to access his legs better.

“I ca- I CAN’T–” He was entirely unable to say anything further, and he went into frantic cackling when Wally got his hand under his shorts to knead up and down his thigh. Something about that drove him batty. (Pun intended!)

“AH! NONONO!" He shook his head rather desperately. "FUCKfuckFUHUHUCK- Ple- PLEHEHEASE!! HAHAH- Fuck!! HahahahaAHAHAA!!”

The amount of writhing he was doing nearly made Wally fall off, but he managed to stay stable enough to keep at it.

"Ooh, this is a good one, huh?" Wally grinned at the sheer sensitivity of his friend. He hadn't ever done this before- with these results, he would definitely be employing it in the future. Dick couldn't respond to his quip. He was starting to wheeze and fade into shaking silently, hardly able to breathe.

After a few more moments, Wally noticed him losing energy and realised he might have gone too far. He stopped his attack, hoping he would be alright.

Dick gasped for air, twitching a bit. Wally got off of him and watched, concerned. Dick caught his breath after a while, and then quickly got away from his attacker, rolling over backwards, sitting against the wall, hugging his knees to his chest. “...Ugh…” He groaned, burying his face in his knees, just exhausted.

Wally was a bit worried. Did he hurt him?

“Are you okay? I’m really sorry if I went too far.”

He spoke into his knees. “That… Fuck. That was… Horrible.”

Wally grinned. So everything was just fine. “But I achieved my goal, you’re not sad anymore!”

“...I hate you so much."

“Ha! You just hate that I’m right! ‘Cause I’m right! It worked!”

Dick only nodded in response, completely sapped. He didn’t like admitting it, but it was true. That whole experience had completely put everything out of his mind. Although now, he was just stuck feeling self-conscious.

Wally seemed to know what he was thinking about, because he crawled over next to him and sat there. "Dickie... For what it's worth… I think that was really nice… You don't laugh much."

"O- Okay…" Dick fidgeted with his hands. "...Man, using your speed like that was so, so not cool…"

"...Admit it though, it worked great!" Wally grinned triumphantly.

"I can't- even- I can't believe you." But he couldn't stay mad. "Fine."

"YES-"

Dick lifted his head and glared at him, "Don't start."

"...Okay, yeah, deserved." Wally put his hands up in resignation, still grinning.

He waited maybe 10 seconds before getting right back to teasing him. He couldn't help it. "I'm gonna have to do that to you more!"

Dick put his head back on his knees. The flustering was endless. "I'll kill you…"

"Well, you'd be too weak to do anything about it, as demonstrated just now!"

"Just-" He couldn't think how to respond. "Ughhh... This is not fair!"

"Heh, I know, that's why it's so fun!" Wally went and sat against the wall with him, then wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. "Come here."

"...Fine." Dick allowed it to happen, then slowly realised how much he needed it. He had really needed everything that happened...

"Wally?"

Wally had Dick in his arms, nestled into his chest.

"Yeah, Dickie?"

".....Thank you."

"Any time!"

The two ended up falling asleep like that.

[the-whumping-hour]

Day 2 - Solitary Confinement

@febuwhump DAY TWO ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

CW: Lab whump, isolation, vague depressive thoughts, it as a dehumanizing pronoun, threat of forced medical coma, implied revenge murder, mention of electrowhump, mention of execution, mention of starvation as a torture tactic

Notes: Welcome to the AMF! This one honestly made me insanely fucking sad. Ayeli uses she/they pronouns. Dr. Haley Chavis-Sakye is Ayeli’s personal researcher, essentially, and “Dr. Garcia”... well, let’s just say he’s a pretty important guy.

***

Really, right now, all Ayeli wants is a watch.

It’s been five days now, she thinks, if she’s been counting the meals right. It’s hard to when it’s all the same: instant mashed potatoes and cold scrambled eggs and applesauce with a new single set of plastic silverware each time. Maybe that’s a small mercy, if anything is; if not, she would’ve had to melt her restraints again to grab the spoon from the floor every time she dropped it, and who knows how many volts that would’ve cost her.

But they think they’ve had twelve meals so far, and they know they’ve eaten all but two of them– like hell were they eating without that spoon– and if the timing’s right their restraints should be opening any minute to let them go to their tiny bathroom and change their robe and kick at the walls for a few minutes and throw things at the one ceiling tile above their cot that looks a bit more fake than all the others. They know they’re being watched. They should at least get to put on a show. 

She doesn’t even know what she did. She really doesn’t. At least not anything that she hadn’t done before, with the refusal to speak and the energy surges that broke their intercom for several weeks last time. One too many times, apparently. And now she’s here.

If they stare at the light long enough, they start seeing Marcy in the afterimage. 

Three minutes later, as expected, the restraints pop open, and as expected another white robe is on the bathroom hook. She doesn’t know who’s coming in, or from where. At least they have the decency to knock her out on semi-routine intervals. In her usual room, they never have that courtesy; the moment the lights start flickering, everyone’s out with their tranqs and she’s out cold for as long as they feel the need for her to be. Here, she can’t hurt anyone. Here, the walls don’t yield when she kicks at them. She does it once, twice. It doesn’t change much.

Or, wait. There’s a hum coming from the ceiling.

It’s very faint, barely perceptible, and Ayeli realizes it must’ve started during their kicking, or before it, because nothing they ever do prompts a response anymore. Not when they tried to break the faucet off the wall yesterday, or when they screamed at the top of their lungs for ten minutes straight two days before that. No, this is a change. 

Rarely a good thing with the esteemed Alexus Metanatural Foundation.

“Ayeli Astian,” the voice is a familiar one crackling over the intercom, soaring and terrifying and every emotion at once as her leg freezes before another kick. Dr. Haley never bothers to come when she’s done something wrong. “I’ve been making your plea deal. They’ll get you out of here by Sunday.”

They can’t help it, they laugh. Alone in a white sterile room with nothing but the off-putting fake ceiling tile above them. “When the fuck is Sunday?”

There’s no answer. As expected. “There is a condition, though.” Fuck. There’s something serious here, something bad. Haley always sounds hesitant when it’s something bad.

 “They’re putting you out for three weeks.”

“...what?” 

“I'm sure this is hard for you, it’s just… Dr. Garcia needs an unconscious subject for several trials, and I… the team agreed to do this. I hope you understand. At least you’re not… aware of it. It’ll be nothing, Ayeli.”

Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Everything is nothing at this point.

The intercom clicks off, and Ayeli sees red. There’s no reason to scream. And they all think there’s no reason for her to do anything. Nothing but be a fake dead body.

And they think it’s bullshit.

And that’s the last thing she thinks, in fact, before something cracks, and the walls splinter with heat as the lights go out, and the ceiling tiles pop into ash.

—

“Sir, please, if I could just explain–”

“Your project just killed five people, Chavis. I’m not sure what there is to explain.”

“Listen, it’s… it’s got issues, I know, it gets scared when it’s alone, it gets scared to go to sleep–”

“Chavis, we are talking about the largest institutional threat in years. This is not a sales pitch.”

“If we could just up the power control, anything, I know you still want them as a subject…”

“No, Chavis, you know who wants it? Copán wants it. Herrets wants it. Best case, we put them on a boat and never see them again.”

“Sir, please,”

“Would you like the worst case instead?”

“Dr. Garcia, I…”

“No. Right now, it gets no energy, nothing for a week. And then we discuss action going forward.”

[darklight-owl]

Okok. Might be a long ramble here but I cannot see Desclark working as a relationship really in the way Desran would be

Cause Desran works under the assumption that Des is using Randall, and that Randall is infatuated/ genuinely in love with Des. But des doesn’t give a fuck about him or what happens, because at the end of the day he doesn’t care. Randall is a means to an end. I can see them sleeping together but that’s bc Des sees it as a way to get closer to him. Kind of cat and mouse type beat to keep him hooked as an addition to the whole revenge plot.

But I cannot see Desclark working as a romantic or sexual relationship. It’s more like a fucked up kinda codependency to me. I can’t see Des falling in love or trying to sleep with Clark, and I don’t see them even like. Kissing or anything unless they were both very VERY drunk or something. And no matter what I don’t see Clark intentionally or knowingly cheating on Brenda, or even thinking about it. I’d imagine he would feel sick even thinking about it

Alright. Thoughts on how it works on both sides.

Desmond is pretty deprived of intimacy. He’s got Raymond, but it’s a working relationship. He’s essentially alone in the emotional support and needs catagory, because even though Raymond would be there when needed, Des wouldn’t let himself be that vulnerable. And I also don’t see him as particularly affectionate (I think he’d get embarrassed asking for it). Thus in the physical department he’s touch deprived too (dead wife rip). As far as we know he doesn’t have too many close friends (Raymond doesn’t count.) and people like to feel needed! It’s a nice thing! And des already has his whole I Feel Superior To Other People Intellectually thing.

On Clark’s side. His wife is gone. His butler is gone. His friend is dead. His son isn’t speaking to him. I believe it’s said that he doesn’t go out often (in a conversation with an npc. Might be making that up tho). Like yeah he has Beth but she’s his maid. She’s not there in the way that he needs her (though I think she would be! She gives Rosa vibes.) guy who is all alone with no support system. Emotionally he’s fucked over. And he had nowhere to vent his feelings because he can’t tell anyone. He’s being threatened by Des for months on end. But in a Desclark scenario I imagine it becomes something like Stockholm syndrome (I touch on this just a little in GS but. Not in the way I want to go into it). It’s not that he’s in love with des, but that he’s internalized a lot of what Des has said (that it’s his fault, that he just has to keep quiet, that he can’t talk to anyone, etc). So to him it becomes Less Bad. Descole only threatens him when he disobeys/talks back/doesn’t do what he wants. Therefore it’s Clark’s fault for speaking out. It’s always his fault, Descole is only keeping him in line. Illogical, yes, but it’s a way to rationalize it for himself. And most of Clark’s work during that time is just holing himself in the study and doing paperwork or something. Des takes care of evacuations and everything related to the specter, so that’s some worry off his chest. He views it in a fucked up ‘he’s taking care of me’ kinda way. And eventually he gets kind of complacent in doing what Des wants just to not have to go through the threatening. All he has to do is sit and work and not talk to anyone and he’ll be fine! But yes, that means Des is the Only Person He Can Talk To. Fucked up sort of attachment forms to Descole. Yes he’s impersonating his butler, but Des provides him meals and cleans up and does things to take care of him! Des cares! Clark is shown to display fauning responses (though he doesn’t have much else choice) to Des (getting Hershel’s help, and during the episode of them talking). His method to protect himself isn’t to fight or to run away, but to appease the threat.

And I’d imagine des ends up feeling a bit of sympathy for him. An archaeologist with no family or emotionally support system does sound kinda familiar huh. And he ends up feeling bad for doing all of this to him (he can recognize that part at least. That Clark’s spiraling has a lot to do with his own actions and behavior, and that intentionally or not he’s sort of conditioned Clark to just take what he’s given.

I don’t think they’d even get too affectionate and they sure as hell wouldn’t be really romantic lovey dovey or whatever, but I think they’d take care of each other in the way that they can. Clark worries about Des when he notices it’s been a while without him (then gets upset with himself for caring) and des continues his duties as a butler (and if it’s more than just pretending, who’s to say?)

I think it would hit particularly hard for Clark without Descole around. I think Des could quickly move on (albeit missing the intimacy that comes with a close relationship), but shit like that would Fuck Someone Up. I explore this a lot in GS, that Clark has become used to Descole doing things for him. Enough so that he finds it difficult to regain his autonomy. He’s used to having everything decided for him, that all he has to do is obey and everything is fine, but with Descole gone he’s shoved into Being A Person and Being A Mayor all over again. But now he doesn’t have a guide. He doesn’t have anyone to tell him what to do. And no one knows what it was like to be in that situation, and he feels guilt for being upset when his wife and butler were literally kidnapped for months on end. Who gave him the right to miss the guy that hurt him so much?

Anyways. Yeah. Those are my thoughts on Desclark.

OHHHHH MY GODDDDD YES!!!!!!! THEY REALLY ONLY HAVE EACH OTHER TO ACTUALLY TALK TO DON'T THEY-

God I love this sm actually. Like Clark starting to rely on Des and believing the bullshit manipulative stuff he tells him. Des kind of seeing himself in Clark- DES SEEING HIMSELF IN CLARK HOW HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Clark having to recover from that Weird Situationship afterwards. Wow there's a lot of good stuff here omg /gen

[grimmmviewing]

S1E11: “Tarantella”—C+ (Watched 3/10/24)

Woman on the phone: “What do you think?” (of an art opening)

Cut to man’s perspective looking at a blonde woman: “Not really my taste.”

After the problematic landmine that was “Organ Grinder,” this episode of Grimm comes as something of a relief. It’s just such a reasonably solid episode of the series but not remarkable for the most part. It’s relatively comfortable watching by comparison. I wouldn’t even say that the C vibe of it is bad absent the contrast—It’s a very fine episode, but it’s also telling that I have so few notes for it when some of these recent pieces have been creeping steadily higher and higher in terms of word count since there’s so much I want to cover.

Maybe it feels ironic to call an episode that opens with attempted sexual assault “comfortable,” but I really don’t think there’s too much tension or fear here since the way that the lead-up is framed, together with the opening quote and maybe the title, sets up pretty obviously that this is a “classic” predator-prey reversal cold open (deal)—a man and a woman, an amorous and/or dangerous setting, but Who Is Really The Hunter Here? Nick and Hank more or less walk through this premise explicitly once they’re on the case: “So who was seducing who?”

Exactly how original any of this story is, I can’t say for certain, but having consumed media like this for years, it certainly feels familiar. There’s kind of a twist in that Lena is a reluctant murderer, though the concept of a killer who strikes in clearly-defined cycles, essentially giving the cops a clear time window in which to either solve the case or risk her slipping through their fingers, feels not exactly novel. Her husband also being a Spinnetod felt like a nice late-game surprise, though. Nick ultimately catching Lena by knocking her into a net at the docks (an obvious web substitute) is very cute, and her fleeing from him during this sequence by climbing and jumping fares better visually than Billy Capra’s similar attempted escape back in “Lonelyhearts” since this scene takes place at night, making the action look a little more credible.

The ending feels appropriately ambiguous: It’s Nick realizing Lena’s daughter is also a Spinnetod (and the episode leaving unspoken what that entails for her future) and Lena herself in jail, emerging from the shadows of her cell to reveal she’s rapidly aged since she failed to complete the cycle. This really is a solid way to end things, rather than having anyone verbalize a moral or else maybe including some nod to the series’ overarching narrative or anything like that. The creatives behind the show exercise something like restraint or a light touch here.

One critical note I did take down, however, was how they have the cleaner/housekeeper who finds the second victim’s body do the classic try-the-light-switch-but-it-doesn’t-work thing—presumably to heighten the horror of the moment, though the cliché really stands out here because… Why doesn’t the light work? I guess Lena scrabbled up to the ceiling and… removed the bulb or something? I think it would have been better/less goofy to have the woman not try the light and just go to open the curtains and find the body in the process.

I don’t think this other note really “counts,” but when Charlotte, the reformed Spinnetod, tells Nick her age as a dramatic reveal of the consequences of not doing the ritualistic feeding, I immediately thought of The Simpsons bit at the top of this post. It’s a fun twist and maybe a little inherently goofy even without that Simpsons knowledge. It is also nice to get some Wesen info from someone other than Monroe, which has long felt like a narrative get out of jail free card, just like the veritable library of books in Aunt Marie’s trailer.

Seeing Nick interact in a non-violent way with the wider Wesen world is very nice. My favorite parts of this episode are definitely the ones that continue to push on the concept of Nick being the weird creature/monster from their perspective. “You’re not real, you’re a scary story we tell our kids,” says Monroe at one point. I didn’t care for the scene where Nick finally pays a visit to the seemingly harmless Wesen that have been spying on him, though, since he ends up threatening them and just behaving like an asshole (read: like a cop?) instead of trying to prove through his actions what he claims when he tells Monroe he’s not like those Grimms they’re all afraid of.

Or, to reach a little, maybe it’s intentional: Like the Spinnetod creatures are compelled to be what they are, so too is Nick compelled to be what he is. Maybe being antagonistic toward even goofy rodent folk is in his blood somehow? It just doesn’t have the same sense of tragedy to it in the episode itself, however.

[estellamiraiauthor]

The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 23)

Well this one was mostly about a really depressingly heavy conversation.

As always, spoilers under the cut!

So, the two-month jump in time here, from August to October. This was something that took me a long time to decide to do. I tried many times to start a chapter that would pick up right where the last left off, but it was just a situation where nothing much HAPPENED for a couple of in-universe months.

I could have added more fluff here, because the slow development of the relationship is really the only change that IS occurring, but again, I was trying to get a major publisher to buy this so I had to keep it under a certain word count and make sure the plot wasn’t TOO slow. So instead I went with a little domestic montage to show the comfortable little routine they have, and how Teru is taking care of things like cooking and washing wigs while Rei takes care of him by writing and producing the album. I also used this scene to show how Chizuru fits into that dynamic, doing laundry and taking care of Rei’s income from his more mainstream music.

We also get an argument between Rei and Chizuru. I sort of wish I’d gone into this more, but essentially I think she’s annoyed that Rei won’t take better care of himself and thereby sort of creates more work for her. It’s partly genuine concern for him but partly purely selfish—but not really in a bad way. As she’ll tell Teru later in the chapter, she’s ready to move on, but Rei makes it hard by refusing to move on or even accept his situation in a lot of ways. But Chizuru deserves to be able to move on, even if Rei can’t.

THAT SAID, she’s sort of going after the wrong thing here, and I wish I’d made that a little clearer. I think Chizuru sort of has this idea that, in general, DOING something is better than working with the status quo, and so if any new treatment or anything is suggested, she wishes Rei would try it… while I think Rei is both traumatized enough by hospitals that he doesn’t want to do anything unless it’s absolutely necessary or guaranteed to help, and also afraid that changing anything might actually result in things getting worse. (This is VERY much one of those areas where Rei is just like me… I really don’t like the idea of doing ANY elective medical procedure or taking medicine that’s not life-saving… like, I’ve never been on the Pill, and I won’t even consider something like LASIK because of the tiny, tiny risk, so obviously anything more serious like the options mentioned here would be an obvious HELL NO from me.)

ANYWAY. Chizuru is concerned that Rei doesn’t really take his pain medication a lot of the time, but I think she’s partly being ignorant. I did a lot of research on chronic pain, and especially on traumatic brachial plexus injuries (which you can Google if you want the depressing details) and in a lot of cases medication doesn’t really work (which Teru sort of acknowledges internally here). And on top of not actually eliminating the pain, you can of course become addicted, and I also think Rei just prefers to have his mind completely clear, to not interfere with his creativity. So while SOME of the things he does are definitely more than a little self-destructive, not taking very strong prescription painkillers that don’t actually work all that well is not actually a terrible choice.

Anyway, Rei makes Chizuru carry their stuff “because she’s so worried about him”… their relationship is super interesting to me and I wish I’d need able to go into it in more detail! Feel free to explore in fanfic etc. ;)

The next important scene is during the break at rehearsal, when Teru invites Rei to have lunch with the band, but of course he refuses, so Teru goes to buy him something to eat and Seika, the only one who can see what’s going on here, tells him that he really does need to tell Minori, even though he shouldn’t have to come out on anyone’s timeline but his own, because his relationship IS affecting the band at this point.

Seika says “sleeping with”—which is the norm to HIM, an allosexual gay man. But Teru and Rei ARENT having sex, and I really wish I’d made the ace-spectrum stuff more clear because some reviewers have seemed to think that it’s because of Rei’s disability and I think it’s not? It’s self esteem, partly, which in Rei’s case stems from disability, but also just that… they’re fine at this point with not doing any more than what they are? Some people like to take it slow and that’s ok!

Still, the people who were kind of expecting a steamy romance novel probably collectively lose their shit here. I’m really sorry I called it romance….

Anyway! There’s a little more arguing over Saki’s song and then, after Rei goes to sleep, Teru gets a call from Chizuru. I think at this point, the argument in the morning has kind of reminded her that she is ready to stop being Rei’s platonic life partner or whatever… but she still worries about him living off “alcohol and painkillers and no dinner”. I think she just wants Teru to take over so she doesn’t HAVE to worry, because she does want to know that Rei’s ok. She just doesn’t want to be throne in charge of keeping him that way.

So she asks Teru to meet her, and basically dumps all of Rei’s medical records on him. There’s a lot going on in this scene, and a lot of it kind of hinges on the limitations of modern medicine, which of course harkens back to all of those ignorant “This horribly disfigured character had plastic surgery and now looks completely normal” fanfics. I knew that one of the questions my readers would have was why Rei wouldn’t at least have done as much as he could to try to restore his appearance, and the short answer, provided here by Chizuru, is that really anything less than perfect wouldn’t have been good enough for him. He still wouldn’t look “normal”, so to him there’s no point in being LESS disfigured, unless “less” is “not at all”. Chizuru understands this, I think, but she doesn’t agree with it.

She also offhandedly says that Rei could “hire a chauffeur if he wanted to”, which I think shows that she DOESN’T really understand all of the psychological damage that the accident did. It frustrates her that because SHE has been able to move on after also losing a boyfriend that night, she thinks that Rei should also be able to “get over” certain things… again, even though she probably understands academically at least that it’s not that easy.

The last thing she mentions here as something Rei could do but won’t is amputating his paralyzed arm. This is something that I actually considered for the last couple of chapters, when they meet again after four years apart, but the reason I decided against it is because, again, it isn’t really guaranteed to actually help anything. The pain from that particular injury is essentially phantom pain. The nerves have basically been completely severed, so the pain comes from signals being sent and nothing coming back, so the brain says HOLY FUCK SOMETHING’S REALLY WRONG. Amputating the limb wouldn’t fix those nerves or the phantom pain, so the best it could do is, as Chizuru says, maybe alleviate some neck pain by eliminating dead weight. But I don’t think Rei would see that as a good enough trade-off to losing his arm (and losing any hope of some miracle treatment down the line, which is extremely unlikely, but I do think he has that stubborn little bit of optimism about him as well).

All of that is a very, very short passage in the book, but I thought it was really important to establish both that yes, there were things that Rei COULD do but simply chose not to, but also that there were reasons why, to him, those weren’t good options.

After this, Chizuru talks about her own past. She also lost a boyfriend, Aeternum’s bassist Taka, in the accident, and sort of ended up with Rei as a sort of antagonistic life partner because they were both the only survivors. In Chizuru’s case, she wasn’t even in the car, but went up to Sendai with Taka’s mother and ended up staying. She says that the four who died all had families who came for them, but that no one came for Rei. 

I didn’t really get to go into it at all, but I have a whole backstory for Rei’s family. He grew up in a farming family (which in Japan does NOT mean poor; if you own enough land to farm you’re local royalty), but was the youngest of MANY brothers and while I wouldn’t call Rei “effeminate” necessarily he was more into music and art than physical labor. Since his family had other heirs who were more aligned with what they thought a male child “should” be, he pretty much lost contact with them when he moved to Tokyo on his own at 16. He does HAVE living relatives, but no one who would’ve been contactable at the time.

I also mentioned specifically here that he would’ve been in the hospital for over a year, which I think is important to establish both his extreme dislike of hospitals and how long it’s taken him to re-adjust to “normal” life.

Japanese hospitals treat patients like prisoners and I wouldn’t wish them on anyone.

ANYWAY. There’s a lot packed into this scene I guess, and I’m not sure I did the best job of conveying it all to readers who might not already have the background. I’m really just reminded of how much I love Rei and how writing him is always one giant breath of catharsis.

[purplesurveys]

1633

What color was the last nail varnish you wore? Can’t remember all that well as I rarely have my nails painted. It might have been purple, maybe? Purple with some glitters. I kind of remember getting that done a few months ago.

^ Do you own any shirts in that color? I don’t look too good in purple so I don’t have any clothes in that color.

What color was the last lipstick you wore? Burgundy.

^ Have you/would you ever dye your hair that color? Sure, why not? I’m open to any color as long as it isn’t a neon shade.

How long have you owned the mobile phone that you currently use? Just over a year.

How about your laptop? And what brand is it? This laptop has been going strong since 2017, man. Six whole years and counting. I made the most use out of it throughout college and in my first working year, but given that I only ever use it for doing surveys these days it’s enjoying a much longer lifespan than I expected it to have.

I got some nice new mugs recently. What does your favorite mug look like? It’s this one from Starbucks:

Do you own any mugs with a picture of an animal on them? Yeah I availed a fanmade kit from a local shop in celebration of BTS’ anniversary two years ago, and a mug was part of the inclusions. It has a number of the band’s symbols as designs, like stars and a whale.

Do you own any items that have your initial on them? No I’m not a fan of personalizing my things.

Do you own any items that have a Disney character on them? As far as I know, no.

When was the last time you had a box of chocolates? What kind were they? My mom’s godmother recently visited the country after 25+ years and she got a box of chocolates for us. I haven’t gotten to checking it out much as I’m not a super big fan of chocolate haha but it’s essentially different variations – there’s chocolate with coffee filling, another with caramel, another with coconut, etc.

How long have you had the headphones/earbuds that you currently use? It’s been at least a couple of months.

^What color are they? White.

The last time you checked the mail, was there anything for you? Nope.

Is there anyone you’ve had regular video calls with, during the pandemic? No, I hated video calls at the time. It’s only been recently when I started to be more comfortable with them.

Do you remember what you were doing at 8PM on Saturday? I was having dinner with my family.

Of all your relatives & close friends, whose birthday is closest to yours? Dev’s is just a day before mine.

Did you have a cake on your last birthday? What kind? Nope. I opted for ramen instead, haha.

What were some of your favorite foods/meals as a child? I couldn’t get enough of Pancit Canton as a kid that eventually my mom stopped getting it for a time because of how unhealthy it can be to be eaten regularly. 

What were some of your favorite drinks as a child? Eh, just water. I’m not so adventurous when it came to beverages.

Are there any foods/drinks that you loved as a child, but dislike now? For the most part it’s the opposite for me because I used to be a REALLY picky eater and now I’ve learned how to eat and love everything, hahaha. A favorite 180º change of mine would probably be curry; I used to dread it when I found out that’s what was for dinner, and now I could have it literally everyday.

Which of your physical features do you receive the most compliments on? My figure, hands, and eyelashes. What traits/qualities do you have, that you believe others appreciate? I’m good at reading people, so I go ahead of them in terms of things they might be needing help with but might be too shy to raise. It’s stuff like, “Do you need a ride home?” “Do you need me to pay for this first?” “Do you need me to go talk to her?” and the moment their eyes light up that make me think they do appreciate the initiative to an extent.

Do you have any friends that you communicate with every day, in some form? Angela is the person who best fits this. We do talk everyday these days.

When you woke up today, what kind of mood were you in? So groggy. I slept at around 3 AM, so when my mom woke me up to prepare for church I wasn’t exactly awake awake yet.

What was the last food or drink you had, that you hadn’t tried before? Wasabi powdered fries. Turned out really good and not spicy at all!

What was the last song you listened to, that you hadn’t heard before? Bittersweet by Seventeen’s Wonwoo and Mingyu, and LeeHi. Instant fan.

When do you next plan to eat something? Do you know what it will be? Probably in a couple of hours and most likely it’ll just be something light to pass the hunger.

So, to finish, what’s your favorite position to sleep in? On my side, clutching a pillow.

[wheretheresaway-theresawilliam]

Chapter 41: The Horror Attraction [Epilogue]

Word Count: 859

TWs: Death mentions, gore mentions, unsanitary mentions

⛤⛤⛤

Getting hired at Fazbear’s Frights was just as easy as getting hired at Freddy’s had been, perhaps even easier. Michael was very glad the interview didn’t have to be in person. It had been a wild few years since he essentially died two deaths and kept living… he felt like a cockroach. Luckily, this was only a minor speed bump. He knew where his father now resided, and he knew he lived on, if only because other employees had claimed the haunted attraction was actually haunted.

He was also glad that the tradition of only having one nighttime security guard lived on, even at a partial museum housing valuables collectors would love to get their hands on. Frankly, the whole idea behind Fazbear’s Frights made him sick. How quickly some people had moved on from grief, disconnected from the horrific realities, and turned a profit from it.

On top of that, the place was cheap, practically as rotten as Freddy’s had been when it had been abandoned. Michael could’ve designed a better horror attraction with a blindfold on, his hands tied behind his back, and his only tools being a hammer and a bag of dry macaroni. Why people would waste their money on this experience, he’d never understand. It wasn’t long after he had settled into the office chair, covered in an awful, scratchy brown fabric, that he was reminded that he wasn’t alone. The lights buzzed and pulsed while faint whispers floated in Michael’s ears. He jumped when a familiar figure appeared on the desk.

“Michael???” Charlie tilted her head. She looked tired.

“Well, there’s no fooling you, is there?” He quipped, still tensed despite the welcome face.

“What are you doing here???” She slipped off the desk and stood. “I thought you died!”

“Funny story--”

“And why are you purple?? Is that a wig??”

“Slow down, Charlie!” He laughed dryly and began to explain what had happened to him, and where he had been since then. “I shouldn’t have abandoned you… it was stupid of me to go to Circus Baby’s that night…”

“Hey, it was your sister, it was only understandable… you couldn’t have known Norman was going to drop off SpringBonnie, either. I just wish you had told me your plans…”

“Because you’re still here. Yeah, I fucked up on that one…”

“And so is he, as well as the others. Got any new ideas?”

Michael nodded. “Why else would I be here?” He leaned forward, lowering his voice. “I’m going to burn it all to the ground. My theory is, if I destroy what physically tethers you here, you’ll finally be able to move on.”

“Won’t you get charged for arson?”

“Hey, that’s only if I get caught. Besides, I’ve been legally dead for… four years, I think? They’d never suspect a corpse.”

Charlie grinned. “So, what name did you use this time?”

“Fritz Smith.”

She laughed. “What kind of name is that??”

“I don’t know, I saw it on the internet somewhere.”

“The internet??”

“Oh my God. That’s right, you’ve… completely missed out on where technology’s gone since the eighties… you would’ve been a bit too young… there’s not really enough time to explain, but I guess it’s like… electronic books? Anything you’ve ever wanted to know, in a newer, faster package. I use it sparingly, seems like too much power for one person in my opinion.”

“Huh.”

They both froze. Something was shuffling heavily towards them.

“Him!” Charlie hissed. “Quick, play a sound to distract him!” She pointed at the office’s soundboard, meant to be used to control all sounds and ambience in the attraction during the day.

“He’s not that stupid, is he??” Michael asked, briefly impressed.

“It’s not that, the suit reacts to noise and he can’t do anything about it. The guard before you figured that out at the last second… I’m not sure what excuse the owners gave as to why ‘Springtrap’ migrates toward the office at night, but it must be something that keeps employees from freaking out and quitting immediately.”

“Springtrap?”

“The new trademark. I suppose SpringBonnie isn’t that scary, now, is it?”

“I don’t know, I think its backstory makes it plenty unsettling.” He could see its shadow on the wall through the two-way mirror between the office and the hall. “I think I want to see what’s become of his sorry arse.”

“I promise you, you don’t…” She looked him up and down. “But I suppose you yourself are also a corpse. Good luck.” With that, she disappeared through the neighbouring wall, leaving Michael to face the demon that was his father. Springtrap lurched into view. The suit had fallen into complete disrepair, its foam and fur torn, the colours muted with age. Even its once charming bowtie was now nowhere to be found, discarded after years of mistreatment. Michael covered his mouth. He could see William’s punctured and misshapen innards through the holes in the suit, formed tightly with the metal structure within. He was thankful he had lost the ability to smell at this point, between himself and his father he was sure this place stunk like the depths of Hell.

[lessnearthesun]

🍉🍓🍟🍾🍪🍰 for the main characters of your novel!

The main characters… Okay, so I’m going to split this into the main characters for parts one and part two. Part one main characters: Camille de Geneste and Natasha and Mikhaïl Vasiliev. Part two main characters: Camille’s two kids, Sophie and Michel, and Natasha and Mikhaïl’s sister, Olga. This will almost assuredly be long because I’m me.

🍉: Does your OC have a particular piece of jewellery that they always wear or refuse to part with?

Camille: She isn’t really the jewelry type, but she does wear a little silver watch on her wrist. (Symbolism, anyone?) She also has her wedding ring, but she hardly wears that. Mikhaïl does give her a necklace, but she doesn’t wear it, just keeps it in her jewelry box. I don’t know if it counts as a spoiler because the prologue tells it, but after she dies, it passes on to her kids.

Natasha: Also not the jewelry type. She doesn’t wear any jewelry, though. It just… really isn’t something that occurs to her unlike Camille, who doesn’t want to bring more attention to herself. Natasha only wears jewelry at parties, but even then, just minimal pearls.

Mikhaïl: Well, it’s the early-mid 1900s, so obviously it wouldn’t be socially acceptable for him to wear so-called ‘feminine’ jewelry, so he only wears the gold cufflinks that his father gave to him. Fun but sad fact: these pass to his brother Dmitri, who he has a difficult relationship with, and Dmitri gives them to his son.

Sophie Austen née Howard: She likes really minimal jewelry, like pearls and simple chains. She does actually put a lot of thought into her appearance, but she finds jewelry gaudy, so she doesn’t wear it. She doesn’t wear Camille’s necklace that passed to her because if you look up ‘mommy issues’ in the Dictionary, a picture of Sophie will show up. Sophie also has her little brother, Michel’s dog tags which she’ll deny being attached to, but she always keeps them near her if not on her until the day she dies.

Michel Howard: Michel has Camille’s locket that he wears around his neck with photos of those he loves. There are three photos: the one (1) he has of him, his sister, and his parents taken in 1942— when he was six and Sophie was ten; one of his adoptive parents, Elisabeth and Marius Bovary; and eventually one of Michel’s lover, James. While in the army, he has dog-tags, but I don’t really think that counts.

Olga Vasilyeva: This girl loves jewelry. Her jewelry box alone would put Tiffany’s to shame. She wears a lot of jewelry, but nothing she refuses to part with, per-say or that she wears a lot. She has a golden bracelet that she’s had since she was a girl and that has her name engraved in Latin letters and Cyrillic, but she doesn’t wear it more than anything else. She does definitely cherish it, though.

(I knew this would get long. Sorry gang for writing an essay again. </3)

🍓: Does your OC have any particular scents they like? Or hate?

Camille: She likes nature/floral scents. Fire/smoke, (*coughs* symbolism *coughs*) lilies, grass, stuff like that. I feel like she really hates sweet scents like vanilla. They make her nauseous.

Natasha: She’s the opposite of Camille— foils, anyone? She likes warm, sweet scents like vanilla. If she were alive today, Bath and Body Works during autumn/winter would be heaven for her.

Mikhaïl: He’ll say he likes the smell of smoke and alcohol, but despite being a chronic smoker and alcoholic, he hates those smells because they remind him of what a screw up he is. He just can’t stop. In reality, he likes comforting scents like lavender.

Sophie: Sophie also likes the essential oil type scents like rosemary and lavender. Sophie does actually live until 90, so 2022, and as an old lady, she 1000% has a defuser and is subscribed to those essential oil monthly packages.

Michel: He likes citrus and warm scents like vanilla. His favorite scent is definitely fresh cookies because he was an extremely shy child— if he was a kid today, he’d have been diagnosed with social anxiety— and baking was a solitary activity he could do alone and that helped his anxiety.

Olga: She likes those rich, strong perfume scents. Like gardenias or Chanel number 5. Olga likes the finer things in life, what can she say?

🍟: What does your OC admit to be their guilty pleasure? What actually is their guilty pleasure?

Camille: Camille would deny having any guilty pleasures because she has the idea that life is basically meant to be suffering. (She has many issues.) Her friends joke that she’s so austere that she’s like a nun. But she does love to read and study languages, and while there are practical reasons for doing so, it also brings her joy and always leaves her feeling a bit ashamed because she knows she’s enjoying it.

Natasha: Sleeping in late. She says it and it’s true. Natasha hates to lie. She likes to be productive and feels a bit like she has to, but when hen she gets to, she sleeps in. Also, book buying sprees.

Mikhaïl: Again, he’ll say alcohol, sex, and smoking, but those are all things that actually make him very miserable. In reality, romance novels. Mikhaïl wants more than anything to feel genuine love and love someone like that. He almost had it with Camille, but he’s a coward and Camille ‘chose’ ‘familial duty’ so it doesn’t happen. That really messes with Mikhaïl— especially because of how deeply he love(s)d her— and makes him retreat even further from deep connection. He loves romance because, for a moment, he feels like he has a chance of being happy. He adores Jane Austen, but he’d never tell a soul. He’d die first, seriously.

Sophie: She’ll lie and say it’s something like chocolate or good food, but it’s really feel good movies as a child and as an adult, shows like ‘I Love Lucy’ and even later, Hallmark Movies. Sophie’s childhood was a wreck and even after she marries her husband whom she truly loves, she can’t shake it. She absolutely has undiagnosed PTSD and depression, but she grows up in the 30s and 40s so, you know. But those types of media bring her comfort. Sophie’s favorite movie as a teen and adult is ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’

Michel: Hollywood and celebrity gossip. He admits it. He feels vapid doing it and Sophie— who makes it big as a writer— tells him it’s all self-absorbed bullshit, but Michel likes to read it because it’s entertaining and because it distracts him from his myriad of issues. (Howard siblings go to therapy challenge.)

Olga: Shopping sprees. She’ll admit it, but she underplays it. She loves clothes, jewelry, makeup, and the finer things in general, so that’s where she retreats to. After Natasha and Mikhaïl die, Olga has a huge shopping spree. She blows like 8,000 dollars in three days. Even when she’s healthy, she loves to shop and is a bit of spend thrift. It gives her older brother Dmitri stress ulcers.

🍾: Does your OC believe in luck? If so, do they have any charm or ritual they do before a stressful event?

Camille: Absolutely not. She thinks luck is ridiculous and how people cope with getting handed bad lots. Camille believes that we make our decisions and those are what get us in trouble, not luck. It’s her way of clinging onto her autonomy when it’s stripped from her when she’s forced to get married, have two kids she doesn’t want, etc. She made her bed and she’ll lie in it. There’s no higher power involved here.

Natasha: She flip flops, but I think she does somewhat believe in luck. Natasha’s very devout— canonically, Mikhaïl calls her more pious than the Virgin Mary— so she crosses herself and does a quick prayer before stressful events. She puts it in God’s hands.

Mikhaïl: Deep down, he thinks it’s bullshit because he has nihilistic tendencies, but he’ll say he does because he wants to absolve himself of the dumpster fire his life has turned into. Saying he’s just unlucky absolves him of guilt. So, because deep down he doesn’t believe in luck, he doesn’t do much before stressful situations. Well, he does drink but that’s not luck-related, that ‘Mikhaïl is a depressed alcoholic’ related.

Sophie: She absolutely believes in luck. It’s spoilery, so I won’t get into it, but Sophie feels like her whole life is just one tragedy after another. She loses a lot, and I mean a lot, of people over her 90 years of life. So she believes in luck because it makes her feel better. Her thought process is, ‘well, there’s nothing I could’ve done. It’s just bad luck.’ That mentality allows her to ignore and sweep her grief under the rug. As for rituals, she always knocks on wood before she leaves the house. Later in life, het third and final daughter Michelle gets into spirituality so she often cleanses her mother’s house, which deep down reassures Sophie, although to Michelle’s face, she’s like: ‘why are you doing this in my house. 😐’

Michel: He doesn’t think about luck much. As a kid, he thought he was unlucky and that there was something wrong with him, personally. As an adult, he chooses to believe he makes his own destiny and luck probably isn’t real, but he still tosses salt over his shoulder, avoids black cats, and won’t step under ladders.

Olga: She thinks luck is funny, but, personally, she doesn’t put any stock into it.

🍪: What is something that's sentimental to you OC?

Camille: The locket Astrid gives her. It means a lot to her which she’ll, of course, deny, because Camille is the most repressed woman on earth.

Natasha: This one, specific copy of War and Peace. After her mom died and she travelled to Petersburg, a nice man on the train gave her his copy and told her they’d have to discuss it when she learned to read. Natasha never meets the man again, obviously, but she remembers him. She was a scared, grieving kid with the uncle she’d never met, miles from home, and he was kind to her. So, she cherishes the book and it means more to her than any other thing she owns.

Mikhaïl: The gold cufflinks his father gave him. They had a rocky relationship, those two. Mikhaïl knew his father saw him as a screw up, which was true; Fyodor preferred Mikhaïl’s older brother, Dmitri. But Mikhaïl still loves those cufflinks. He’s arrested with them on, actually.

Sophie: Her brother’s dog tags, that’s pretty much it. Sophie isn’t super attached to anything because she feels like it’ll be taken from her. Her brother’s tags are ‘safe’ because he’s already gone from her. She can’t lose him again. Sophie has abandonment issues, can you tell?

Michel: The locket he got from his mother. It’s the only thing he has of her’s. He puts the photos of all the people he loves best in there. When he sleeps, it rests on his nightstand until morning. He wears it everywhere, even to war. It’s returned to Sophie after he dies. She keeps it locked in a box before giving it to her eldest daughter, Margaret when she turns 18.

Olga: She’s not super sentimental about things. She loves things, but she doesn’t get extraordinarily attached to them. She has a few things she loves, like the engraved bracelet, so that’s about as close as she gets to sentimentality. Things are just things to her. She’s gets very attached to people, however. She loves hard and deeply.

🍰: What's something your OC counts as unforgivable?

Camille: Selfishness. Camille’s views of what constitutes as selfish are definitely skewed because of all she’s been coerced into giving up. But selfishness— on an individual and societal sense— are unforgivable for her. Lucien, her husband, and her are fundamentally incompatible for this reason. Besides generally being a shady asshole, Lucien is only out for himself and Camille can’t forgive or get past that. (On the flip side, he thinks she’s naive and a perpetual martyr.)

Natasha: Lying. She’s ‘okay’ with white lies, but that’s pushing it. She doesn’t care if you’re ‘lying to avoid hurting someone,’ she believes lying is the worst thing you can do, pretty much no matter what. She’s a forgiving person, but lying? Good luck fixing that one. (Can you tell being lied to about who she was basically her whole life scrambled her brain?)

Mikhaïl: Adultery. Mikhaïl saw how it fucked up Natasha, being a product of that. In his mind, there’s no excuse for that, which is sadly ironic because Mikhaïl has affairs with married women and men. In his defense, he didn’t always know, but oftentimes he did and just added it to the ‘List of Reasons Mikhaïl Vasiliev Is a Fuck Up.’ Oh, Mikhaïl.

Sophie: Abandoning your family. She was abandoned as a child— literally by her father, her mother died, which in Sophie’s mind is A. The same thing and B. Basically her fault for getting involved in government resistance. To Sophie, that’s the biggest thing that fucked her up. In her mind, that’s the Big Moment that sealed her fate as a tragedy. There’s no excuse for her there. Be miserable but don’t leave. If anyone she loved abandoned their family, they’d be out. She doesn’t forgive and she doesn’t forget. When her eldest daughter, [REDACTED SPOILERS] Sophie finds it nearly impossible to forgive her for what her actions do to her family. And she never quite manages it.

Michel: Also abandonment. Michel’s a lot more forgiving, but even he can’t understand why someone would do that. He couldn’t imagine doing that if he had a family. He logically gets why but emotionally he never will. He hates himself for it, but deep down, in the deepest recesses of his heart in the places he won’t look, he deeply resents his parents for leaving him in their own ways. As Sophie points out— also in denial about how deeply in hurt her— they were bad parents, like pretty bad parents. Michel knows this and yet. And yet.

Olga: Murder. Olga’s siblings were murdered by a fascist government for all she’s concerned, and she’s not wrong. They were part of the French Resistance and that’s why they died. She can’t forgive murder because she knows how it feels to lose someone suddenly. Olga and Dmitri don’t know exactly how Natasha and Mikhaïl died, but they know it was brutal and that they were probably terrified. They know they were too young to go. Natasha was barely 35, Mikhaïl 34. Olga reads stories of people forgiving the murderers of their family, stuff like that, and while she respects it, she could never. In her mind, there’s nothing as awful as taking another’s life, especially someone young.