#but i can just see spock going 'excuse me?'

[giffingthingsss]

When Spock died they played Amazing Grace. 

[frommybookbook]

Earlier today, some friends and I were discussing one of those Star Trek captains memes. You know the ones I’m talking about, the ones that pit the captains against each other with pithy descriptions that glorify and champion the men and shit on Janeway. The ones where Picard is describe as the wise teacher and scholarly diplomat; Kirk is the brave trailblazer and lovable rogue; Sisko is the take-no-shit commander and more-than-human uniter; Archer is the quick thinking explorer and the avenging do-gooder; Pike is the empathetic Boy Scout and the quippy everyman…and Janeway is an irrational murderer and erratic loose canon. And, as usual, I went on a bit of a rant. They (looking at you @redsesame, @epersonae, and @emi--rose) told me to share it here so, if you trudge through this whole thing, blame them.

Does Janeway make some questionable decisions throughout VOY (Prodigy!Janeway is a different conversation for another time)? Yes, absolutely. But here’s the thing: every captain does. What I still love about her though and will champion until I'm blue in the face is that Janeway owns her decisions more than I think any other captain does.

Picard and Kirk hide behind the Prime Directive a lot. That's the reasoning Picard gives for not interfering in the drug running in “Symbiosis” and leaving the Ornarans trapped in dependence on the abusive Brekkans. His line, “Beverly, the Prime Directive is not just a set of rules. It is a philosophy, and a very correct one. History has proved again and again that whenever mankind interferes with a less developed civilization, no matter how well-intentioned that interference may be, the results are invariably disastrous." is a cop-out we hear from him time and time again, especially to Dr. Crusher, as she is the one who most often calls him on his bullshit.

Kirk does the same thing. We still this when he leaves Shanna and the other thralls behind in "The Gamesters of Triskelion" and when he forces Elaan of Troyius into a marriage she clearly doesn't want because it's "for a greater good." And all the while, he's got Spock at his side giving him confirmation bias that he's following regulations.

And Sisko, Sisko makes some of the most horrific and destructive decisions of any captain and uses not only the Prime Directive to fall back on, but he's got the Dominion War to blame. He poisons an entire planet to get back at one man he feels betrayed him in "For the Uniform" and don't even get me started on his actions in "In the Pale Moonlight".

Enterprise is so unjustly shat on by the fandom that I almost hate to bring some of Archer's questionable choices into this conversation but I'm going to do it anyway. Similar to Sisko and the Dominion War, Archer has the threat of the Xindi in his back pocket to excuse some of his worst behavior. If Tuvix is the worst thing people can point to for Janeway, then we have to talk about Archer and Sim, the simbiont created solely to be a living tissue donor for an injured Trip, a procedure that will kill the living, breathing, sentient Sim. Archer orders Sim created against the arguments made by Dr. Phlox. He rationalizes his decision with the same argument for the greater good that we see from all the others. He says to T'Pol before Sim is created "…we've got to complete this mission. Earth needs Enterprise. Enterprise needs Trip. It's as simple as that." And it doesn't end there. When Sim is grown enough for the procedure and has figured out what's going to happen to him, he challenges Archer himself, arguing for his own right to live, and Archer sticks to his guns. This exchange directly between Archer and Sim is haunting.

Archer: I must complete this mission; and to do that, I need Trip. Trip! I'll take whatever steps necessary to save him. Sim: Even if it means killing me? Archer: Even if it means killing you. Sim: You're not a murderer. Archer: Don't make me one.

Not only do all of these captains (except Archer, who arguably writes the damn thing himself at the end of the series) have the Prime Directive to fall back on, they also have Starfleet/the Federation/Vulcan High Council right there on speed dial to validate their choices and hear their excuses and give them another commendation. They all know that ultimately, they can turn to someone higher in command to turn to for help.

Janeway is alone. She is alone with her crew 70,000 lightyears from home with only her training and her own moral compass to guide her. Yes, she claims the Prime Directive a lot but she also goes with what she feels is right and she is clear about that with her crew. When she makes the decision to split Tuvix, despite what everyone else says, she sticks to it and more importantly, does the procedure herself. Picard would have forced Beverly to do it, saying Doctor I gave you an order, your conscience be damned, and Archer does the same to Phlox with Sim, but Janeway takes the tool out of the Doctor's hand and says it's my call, I'll do it. When everyone is angry and mad about her destroying the Caretaker's array, she stands up for her decision and says yes, I did it, because it's what my Starfleet training said to do AND because I think it was the right thing and it's on me to make the hard choices.

She also can admit when she made the wrong decision, which isn't something we see from the other captains. In the season 5 opener, "Night", we see her in a depressive state because she's questioning her decision to effectively strand her crew in the Delta quadrant but she comes out of it when she's reminded by her senior staff that the crew believes in her and trusts her, she should do the same for herself. When the Doctor has a mental crisis in "Latent Image" after questioning his own choice to save the life of Harry Kim over that of another crew member, Janeway admits she did the wrong thing by first deleting his memories of it so he could get back to work and then sits with him for days while he works through it because that's what captains do.

And she does all of this without the backup and support of Starfleet. She doesn't have anyone higher on the chain of command. She's 70,000 miles away from the admiralty and her support system. There's no one higher than her to give her a break from making every decision.

To quote my fellow Missourian Harry Truman, for Janeway the buck stops with her in a way it doesn't for any other captain and she is painfully aware of that and owns that and that is why I love her and she's my captain.

[a-most-beloved-fool]

What do you think about the AOS Kirk x Old Spock ship? I would have liked to see a deleted scene in AOS2 or AOS3 or at least a hint that Aos Kirk visited old spock, not for something romantic or sexual but simply because they had a friendship, old spock seems to be so lonely….

I can totally see the appeal of this ship for doomed romance reasons! It could be very compelling, if done well. (I think I've seen a few fics like that, but I haven't read them, in part because I like happy endings, and in part because I do prefer it when they're with the one from their Own universe, but there's a hell of a lot of potential. actually, there was one that i read because it was mistagged, but it was also. like. character assassination of the aos guys To The Extreme, like holy hell wtf NONE OF THEM WOULD ACT LIKE THAT. i get that aos kirk is apparently your little pooky but WHY did you decide that Every Other AOS character is apparently the devil incarnate? why are spock and uhura like that?? what did SULU do??? god, even bones??? wtf.)

I personally don't really ship it because I do kind of think that Prime wouldn't want to take Kirk away from his own Spock. (I know Spock is technically with Uhura, but. I'm a gay Spock truther, I'm afraid.)

I also kinda think that Prime would still miss his own Kirk and wouldn't actually be able to just. move on to a Kirk from a different universe. This wasn't the same Kirk he'd lived his life with, after all. He was still Kirk, but he didn't have the memories and experiences. (I think Prime would feel irrationally guilty about this - he'd remember his own Kirk still accepting him after the Fal Tor Pan, when he didn't remember their life together, and he'd ask himself why he couldn't bring himself to do the same for this Kirk.)

I could easily see early-aos Kirk crushing hard on him, though, (at least with how I've seen him written in fics) just because, well, Prime is kind to him, and genuinely cares. Like, if you've had a bit of a messed up life, and no good parental figures or support systems, I can see how the sort of blatant adoration Prime would direct towards Kirk would just. instantly win him over. Prime smiles at him and tells him 'good job' very sincerely and Kirk starts experiencing shrimp emotions. (Though he's been introduced to a bit of kindness by then, mostly from Bones and Pike, but still. I think it would hit hard.)

Of course, then his Spock would warm to him, and they'd just kinda connect and many of the ooey good feelings caused by Prime might snap onto Spock, and Kirk would very suddenly go from "haha i want this old man to pat me on the head please what who said that" to "oh fuck oh shit i'm in love with this guy and really want him to like me as much as his old man self does".

I do love the idea of them having a friendship, though. Prime does seem lonely, and I can't imagine ANY Kirk being. just. okay, with letting any version Spock be alone. I feel like Kirk would randomly show up at Prime's house, hotdish* in tow, and be like, "I brought dinner, get in here, we're socializing!" or call him up out of the blue to complain about Spock or paperwork or just to talk.

Prime, I expect, is delighted by this. And, just like Kirk would get protective over Prime, I think Prime would be really protective of both Kirk and his younger counterpart. Kirk could call him at literally any time of day or night, and Prime would answer without question.

(Personally, my favorite dynamic is Kirk adopting Prime as his penpal and friend, and then Spock getting. confusedly jealous, while really most of what Kirk is doing is talking to Prime about his totally hopeless crush on Spock and ask for wooing advice (which Prime only occasionally gives. he can't change the universe too much after all). Prime, of course, is absolutely delighted to be able to watch this younger kirk and spock fall in love. idk, he's a sappy old man. it's an excuse to be unbearably sentimental about his own past. he watches them court and his heart aches, but it's sweet, y'know? it's a sweet pain.)

(and of course the real best case scenario involves kirk and spock pulling kirk prime out of the nexus and depositing him on spock prime's doorstep. let prime have a happy ending, dammit! give him his kirk back! and then all four of them have supremely awkward double dates lmao. kirk and spock prime are Besties while spock and kirk prime are. uncomfortable.)

also do bare in mind that i haven't actually seen all the aos movies whoopsie so take this. with salt.

*kirk is a midwesterner, so you know it's hotdish and not casserole. he has very strong feelings about this.

[damnfandomproblems]

Responding to 3 anons in #5796

"I agree with this tbh. Like adults are the ones making things unsafe for minors in fandom spaces. YOU are the ones who approach minors unprompted. Minors are just minding their own business in fandom, then you all come along and bother everyone."

Predators that are adults are not synonymous with all adults in fandom. It's not the fault of the vast majority of fandom that kids purposefully bust into adult spaces and arbitrarily believe the creeps saying they're "safe" adults. It's the fault of your parents for not reaching you worth a damn and the predator. And yes, kids do fucking barge into adult NSFW spaces. None of the the ones that say they mind their business actually do.

"I agree with this post, cause like... the ones doing the most harassing are adults. I am a minor, and it makes me feel unsafe in fandom spaces. Especially when I see adults drawing nsfw of characters who are MINORS! aging them up does not excuse that gross and creepy behavior. Just stop and give us a space where we don't get pushed into a corner and called annoying. Leave our fandom spaces!"

It's gonna be really funny when you age out of your favorite characters and have a moral dilemma over the fact that you don't stop thirsting over Bakugo or whoever the fuck the minute you're older than him.

And aging up is...how time works. That's like saying no one can view anyone sexually, fictional or real life, because they were once a child. Do you realize how stupid that sounds? If you don't want to be sat at the kids table, learn how to behave rather than screaming at the main table because Aunt Milly told an off color joke and Grandpa Joe has a naked Princess Peach tattooed on his arm.

"I see people getting mad about Fandom Problem #5796, but that kind of is just proving the point? You all act like the minors are the biggest problem in fandom, but you are the ones constantly inserting yourselves and making it about you.

I see adults say things like:

- "Fandom wouldn't exist without adults."

- "Who do you think created fandom? Not minors!"

- "Minors wouldn't have content if it weren't for adults."

All are ignorant of the idea that minors are the foundation to fandom. Fandom would not exist if it wasn't for minors being interested in it and starting groups for people to join. Often times, the best artists and writers in the fandoms are THE MINORS.

Adults make the space uncomfortable by inserting themselves and putting NSFW fics and art of minor characters. Then they get pissy when a minor points out it makes them uncomfortable and go "stop invading our space!"

You are the ones trying to push minors out when we just want to have fun! Just leave us alone!

-A minor"

Minors aren't the biggest problem, no. But by food are they the loudest. You say you just want to have fun but minors have on mass harassed people that were leaving them alone simply because they didn't understand the concept of dead dove don't eat.

And no, you are not, nor have you ever been, the foundation of fandom. It has always been adults, from the very beginning when Sherlock Holmes novels gained an international fan club unlike the world had ever seen to the 1960s housewife Spock/Kirk shipping Trekkies starting conventions, mailing lists, having coalate parties for zines, and laying down the foundation we have today. Adults were the ones that got sued my lunatic writers in the 90s, and they're the ones that, 90% of the time, are buying the services or media for you to consume in the first place.

And I'm sorry, but the best artists and writers in the fandom are never minors. Exceptionally talented minors are exceptional for a reason. The rest of you sit somewhere between "average and has potential" to "would make My Immortal hide its face in secondhand embarassment." Art and writing are skills, and anyone under the age of 16 likely hasn't been writing fiction long enough to run with the heavy hitters. Considering the state of the US education system, this is an even more laughable stance.

Many minors have great potential, but acting like your the best in show when you just made it out the gate is the height of hubris.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[dira333]

Father and Son - Spock x reader - part two

part one

“I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”

“What?” Spock junior looks at you and you laugh, stretch out your hand to muss up his hair.

“You look very good in your new uniform is what I’m saying,” you tell him and smooth the small blue shirt he’s wearing.

“It’s just a uniform,” he mumbles but you put a finger under his chin so he looks up at you.

“Don’t tell me that. I can see that you’re happy about it too. There’s no shame in being happy about something like that…”

“Do I look like him?” He asks instead and you realize what this is about.

“Very much so. But you have your mother’s nose, I believe.”

“Do you look like your parents?” He asks with interest and you ponder your words carefully before answering.

“I do believe that I look like them, but you can’t really narrow me down on the parts of me that look similar to them because after all, I’m more than that, you know? You’re not just your nose or the color of your eyes either.”

“I understand,” he agrees and you turn towards the door when he doesn’t say more.

“Let’s go get something to eat before we get to work,” you tell him.

Three steps out the door he slips his hand in yours and you can feel your heart swell for this little boy.

-

“Lieutenant Y/N,” Commander Spock approaches you during Alpha shift, “On a word?”

You look over to Uhura who nods, telling you wordlessly that she will cover your shift. You get up and follow the Commander outside where he leads you down the hallways.

“Is everything alright?” You ask him, switching to Vulcan when you notice how tense he is.

“You made great progress this week,” he tells you stiffly, “But I’ve decided to send my son back to New Vulcan.”

He pauses, giving you the chance to properly process his words. They hurt more than they properly should.

You’ve made a mistake, it seems, you’ve let the kid get closer to you than you should have. But as unprofessional as it is, you know better than to let him go through with this.

“With all due respect, commander, but that would be the wrong decision.”

“Explain yourself.”

“Remember your own childhood,” you tell him, as calmly as you can, “Do you remember the presence of your parent?”

“Yes.”

“Who do you remember more?”

“My mother,” he answers after a moment of hesitation.

“I’ll take a guess and say that she was there more often. Now I know that you want the best for him, but do you want him to know you as his father or as the man who provided him with a good education? A father is there with him.”

“Are you insinuating that I should leave the Enterprise to care for my son?”

You stop cold, trying to catch your breath and a clear thought.

“No,” you tell him then, “Not… not exactly. I’m advising you to stay with your son-”

“Which I would. The education he can get on the Enterprise is nothing in comparison to the schools on New Vulcan.”

“But your family is here,” you tell him.

I am here, you think, but do not dare to say it out loud.

“I assume you are referring to the crew. There comes the time when every single one of us has to grow.”

Your mouth runs dry and you nod stiffly.

“I understand. If you’d excuse me now, I’ll go back to work if there’s nothing else you want to discuss.”

He raises an eyebrow at you but says nothing and you don’t wait for him to change his mind about that, but turn around and leave.

-

Gamma Shift has ended half an hour ago. You’ve gone back to your room immediately, unable to go to mess hall and act as if you have no worries at all when the worries you have are trying to drown you.

There’s a sharp knock on the door. You don’t bother to get up from your bed, just call out for the computer to open the door while staring up at the ceiling.

The door opens with a whooshing sound followed by quick steps and then a small body flings itself onto the bed and onto you.

You pull him into you by instinct as he is clutching to you with all the strength a Vulcan already has at his age. You fear for your ribs and rub your hands over his back, calming him down enough that he loosens his grip on you the slightest bit.

“Talk to me when you’re ready,” you tell him softly.

It takes him a bit to calm himself down and you realize that he did not only inherit most of his father’s looks but the emotional instability the former had suffered from as a child.

He had told you about that in one of those rare moments you had felt like more than just a friend and subordinate to him. Moments that felt like nothing more but your own heart imagining things, now that you knew of his secret son and the fact that he felt like he had to grow out of your friendship, out of the family bonds of the Enterprise.

“I don’t want to go to New Vulcan,” his son tells you eventually, still clinging to you.

“Why?” You ask and he keeps silent for a long time before he answers.

“Because you won’t be there.”

-

“Commander Spock,” you address the man when you step into his ready room, “Could I have a word with you.”

He looks up from his PADD. “Is it about my son? I’ve already taken notice that he went to you immediately after his outburst.”

“It is. I am going to tell you something and I want us both to be completely honest-”

“Vulcan’s do not lie.”

“But they could. And it’s not so much about lying but about keeping information to yourself because you might think that you should not say it in this moment. This is the right moment to share them. But let me start.”

He keeps to himself whatever comment he had wanted to speak out and nods, beckoning you to continue.

“The past years I had assumed that we were friends, even more than that on more than one occasion. I would be happy if I were right, even though then I would have to ask you why you’ve kept a secret as big as your son from me… Regardless of that,” you take a deep breath, “I’d be happy to stay by your side, if you leave the Enterprise or stay, as long as I can stay by your son’s side too. It’s his wish too.”

“Why would he wish for that?”

“Because, as he has told me today, he has already lost one mother, he does not want to lose another.”

“You are not his mother,” Spock reminds you, his usually monotone voice adding a sinister tone to his words.

“But we both feel this way about it anyhow,” you tell him, swallowing thickly right after you have spoken.

He shakes his head. “I can’t take you to New Vulcan with me. There is no need for a Communication Officer there.”

“I’d happily scrub toilets if that would allow me to stay with you.”

“If you care so deeply about him, why did you tell me to stay with him? You could have easily taken my part as his nanny.” He asks and you step closer to him and put your arm against his to let him feel how deep your feelings go.

“Did you not listen?” You ask him, “I told you that I had assumed we were more than friends. I have to correct myself. I had hoped, not assumed. I apologize if that had been foolish.”

He raises his arm until it does not touch yours anymore and you want to turn when his hand takes yours instead, your fingers entangling. It’s not a Vulcan kiss, but not just holding your hand either.

“Do not apologize. I was the fool for holding back the feelings I had for you as well, hoping they’d pass before you’d take notice of them.”

-

“What is going to happen?” The boy asks, pressed against your side on the bed in your room where you had found him awake when you had come back.

“What do you mean?”

“Where are we going to go? Are we going to leave for New Vulcan?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

You wait for the deep voice of his father to speak the rest of your thoughts.

“You are capable of deciding your own destiny. If you want to go to New Vulcan, we will come with you. If you want to stay on the Enterprise, we will keep you here and give you the best education there could possibly be.”

For a moment there is only silence and warmth. You’re lying in the middle, your head heavy on Spock’s chest, his son’s body pressed firmly against your side.

A human in between two touch telepaths.

“Y/N?” The boy asks then, his voice thick, telling you that sleep is already pulling him back in again.

“Yes?”

“Why did you tell me the story about the moon?”

“Because I’m Franklin the toad,” you tell him, whispering as if it’s a secret between the two of you, “And you are the moon. And wherever you call home, I will be with you.”

[spirk-trek]

I always love when spock has to ask mccoy to help him understand his feelings for jim

now on ao3!

i'm so sorry to this anon who waited so long for me to finish this prompt *cries* i have never written anything from mccoy's pov and wanted to challenge myself... and oh boy, was it a challenge. i feel like it turned out kind of (very) boring and maybe not so good but i tried my best with something new!

~*~*~*~

Spock had cultivated an arsenal of excuses to get himself into sick bay when he didn’t really need to be. Some were more convincing than others, but over the years Doctor McCoy had come to consider himself a damn near expert at identifying them. At least, he eventually identified them. Once he managed to stop being annoyed. 

“What in the blazes- Spock! Get your hands off my equipment!”

“Doctor,” he greeted, raising a brow and pausing whatever the hell he was doing with several panels removed from the wall. McCoy stared at him, swelling with rage.

“I leave this room for one damn minute-!”

“Actually, you were absent for nine minutes, eighteen-”

“Dammit Spock,” McCoy gritted his teeth and begged whatever gods might be listening for strength. “ You have eighteen seconds to tell me what you’re doing before I tranquilize you.”

Spock’s mouth closed with a well-then expression, eyes widening just enough that McCoy might’ve felt accomplished if he didn’t have a six patient backup in the transporter room. He watched as Spock deposited the components onto an empty biobed- the only one remaining, mind you- and placed both arms behind his back to face the doctor squarely. 

“I am here to calibrate your newly installed biofilters to include the latest blood-type data sets.”

McCoy blinked, then helplessly gestured to the chaos surrounding them. “I'm a little busy here, if you hadn't noticed. Can it wait?”

“Hardly.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and squinted. Two can play at that game.  

“Medical equipment, eh? Since when are you our go-to guy for that?”

Both Vulcan brows eased their tension, rising to meet the dark curve of his bangs. “I am not. However, considering the fact you are currently treating Lieutenant Macsen, as an experienced science officer I am the most qualified individual to-”

McCoy groaned and uncrossed his arms to toss them at Spock impatiently. “Yeah, yeah, alright but-” he jabbed a finger at him. “But you're acting Captain now, aren’t you? Shouldn’t you be on the bridge? ”

Spock’s eyes slipped away. It was only for a moment, but that was enough. Gotcha.

“The danger has passed,” Spock eventually answered, careful mask back in place. “I can be of assistance here.”

“You sure?” A smug grin was spreading over McCoy’s features. Spock tilted his head in consideration of him, likely knowing he was in trouble. Damn right. “So this ain’t just an excuse to check up on Jim, then?”

As if he had forgotten his excuse, Spock gathered several of the discarded components back in his hands, answering only once his back was turned. “I assure you, doctor, my only concern is the efficiency with which your facilities are capable of treating the biologically unique individuals awaiting care.” He paused, both his speech and his hands, which were simultaneously reconnecting a tangle of wires. His chin tipped back over his shoulder just enough for McCoy to see downcast eyes stuck to the floor. “It is a logical endeavor. There is no need to question it.”

McCoy set down his medical tricorder with a thud and glared at the back of Spock’s head. “Uh-huh,” he muttered, chewing the corner of his mouth. “Well, if you're not here to bother me, carry on with your ‘logical endeavor.’ Just make it snappy. I got patients to heal.”

He left the goddamned hole in his wall to do a lap around the med bay, asking after patient conditions and giving orders where needed. When he got back around to where he started, he was pleased to find the wall panels more or less back in place. He was even more pleased to catch Spock peering down the line of beds, even craning his neck to do so. Gotcha again.

He knew already, of course, which bed was the subject of Spock’s nosiness. Nurse Chapel was there, standing over an unconscious, battered, and idiotic (in McCoy's professional opinion) Captain James T. Kirk. The man looked downright pitiful with his uniform torn and bloodied, neck supported on either side by braces. 

I’ll be damned if I’m gonna say anything. He wants to know? He’s gonna have to ask.

Spock never asked, though. He suffered in silence, like a damn ascetic. The doctor sighed, knowing already he didn’t have this particular fight in him. Not now. Not today. 

“He’s gonna be alright, Spock. He’s had worse.”

At being addressed, Spock hastily resumed what appeared to be the last of his tinkering. McCoy watched him quietly, trying- unsuccessfully, as always- to read the unyielding Vulcan façade he so effortlessly constructed moment by moment. 

“I acknowledge that the Captain's injuries are not likely to be fatal.”

“More n’ not likely. He’s gonna live, and he’s gonna thank me for it.”

Spock said nothing, simply pressing the final strip of wall back into place. He slid his hand over the seam to ensure there was no protrusion before ultimately turning around to face McCoy again.

“Once more, my concern lies with the efficiency of the ship's functions. The Captain's well-being is, logically, a crucial component of that efficiency. Is that not correct, doctor?” 

McCoy scowled, not buying a damn word. He knew Spock wanted him to agree. To hand him his own excuse back on a silver platter. Not gonna happen.

“Well, if you were worried about him,” he cajoled, bouncing on the balls of his feet, "you might have a point. He took quite the beating down there.” 

Spock shifted, and another bolt of triumph shot through McCoy’s core. 

“It has been my experience that the Captain possesses a remarkable ability to defy all odds.” 

Leonard barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Sap. 

“Still. Haven’t you people ever heard of hand phasers? They have a couple hundred meter range, you know, but no. You just have to get up close n’ personal.”

Spock’s gaze hardened. McCoy knew that meant his bluff had been called.  

“Doctor. You have already indicated that the Captain’s injuries are not of long term concern. Are you rescinding that assessment?”

McCoy sighed, any remaining sense of accomplishment fleeing him. He was just about to damn his attempt at getting a proper rise out of Spock when he saw him turn a glance toward Jim’s vital signs, checking them. Not very Vulcan of you, he thought, even as a pang of pity won out over the desire to dig his thumbs in and yank.

“I, uh…” He sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair, rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck. “Listen, Spock. Since you’re here, I’ve been waiting what feels like a century to get my tricorders synced with the medical catalog we integrated from Nomalis III.” He looked at Spock pointedly before jerking his head in the direction of the storage cabinets. “Think you have time to get to them, too?”

He nodded once. “Certainly. I will assess their status presently.”

And if he noticed a stroke of gratitude in Spock’s immediate acceptance, he wasn’t about to claim responsibility for it.

*   *   *   *   *

Sometimes, the visits were shorter.

Leonard glanced up from his screen, raising a brow at Spock's unexpected presence on the other side of his automatic doors.

“Spock,” he greeted warily, one eyebrow raised. “You finally taking me up on that open nurse position?”

With a look he’d no doubt deny was annoyance, and a breath he’d definitely deny was a sigh, Spock placed his hands at the small of his back. “Negative, doctor. I require a medical examination for a minor injury sustained during our most recent expenditure.”

“You? Injured?” He set his PADD down and pushed it away, leaning over his desk toward the other. “I find that hard to believe.”

“It is a minor contusion,” Spock explained promptly. “I deemed it necessary to ensure my optimal functionality.”

The Vulcan presented his hand between them, fingers outstretched, a thin line of green wrapping around the palm and over his first knuckle. With a frown, McCoy stood and gestured for Spock to take a seat on the nearest biobed, coming to stand beside him as he snapped on a pair of gloves. He pulled the marked hand into the light, turning it at different angles. It was half healed at best, shallow at worst.

“You know, Spock,” McCoy murmured as he looked, “I don’t tolerate malingering.”

“Proof of my injury is visible, doctor. Or did your medical training not prepare you for superficial wounds?

“Ha ha,” McCoy deadpanned, noticeably less gentle as he flipped the hand back over and dropped it. “It’s already started healing, so I can’t use a stitcher. A treatment bandage overnight should do it, with that Vulcan metabolism of yours.” 

He busied himself with a nearby drawer, pulling the right type of bandage from its depths. Once he had Spock’s hand back in his, he cleared his throat and began wrapping it.

“You didn't come all the way down here for a papercut, did you?”

Steely blue eyes flashed upward, but Spock wasn’t looking down to meet them. McCoy rolled them instead, annoyance mounting.

“I discharged him twenty minutes ago, y'know.”

He refused to look up again when Spock’s posture went rigid, his fingers flexing unconsciously against his newly coiled bandage. To McCoy's shock, he didn’t even bother denying that’s what he was really after. 

“The venom was of an unidentified variety.”

“I identified it.”

“And his symptoms? They were-”

“Severe, yes. Keyword there being were .” He smirked, but Spock was still looking straight ahead. It quickly curled into a frown. “I healed him. That's what doctors do.”

Spock said nothing in response, though a crease appeared between his brows as he watched McCoy seal his bandage with a whirr of instrumentation. 

“Anyway,” he turned in his chair, wheeling to a shelf to pull out a bottle of pain capsules he knew Spock would refuse. “I confined him to quarters until morning, if that's what- hey!” The doors were swishing as he turned back around, and despite knowing he wouldn’t hear it, he still called after Spock bitterly.

“You’re welcome!”

*   *   *   *   *

Sometimes, the excuses weren’t really excuses at all.

“Doctor,” Spock greeted upon being let into McCoy's office. He blinked in surprise at the vision before him; Spock was pacing, hands clasped tightly behind his back, gaze down on the floor. He watched him take two trips from wall to wall before clearing his throat.

“Why yes, Spock?” he asked sweetly, batting his eyelashes to no effect.

“I have come to report increased stress levels, resulting in loss of sleep.” 

McCoy’s eyebrows shot up. He placed his resequencer aside, immediately forgetting whatever he’d been doing with it. It’d still be there later, but this. This, he had to hear.

“Stress, Spock? That doesn’t sound like you one bit.”

“Stress is a natural reaction to disturbed mental equilibrium.”

“Would you please stand still?”

The Vulcan froze in his tacks, looking down at himself as if he hadn’t even realized he was in motion until that moment.

“That’s better. Now, what is going on with you?”

Spock, for a moment, looked explicitly uncomfortable. The lines of Leonard's face ironed out in shock. That level of transparency was, in Vulcan terms, something like an outright confession. He might as well be singing Shakespeare from rooftops.

“I’m waiting,” he eventually probed when Spock didn’t answer, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

Spock shut his eyes. “Captain Kirk has recently… developed a closer association with a civilian on board.”

Oh. McCoy couldn’t help but smile, thinking of the pretty copper-haired thing he’d seen hanging off Jim’s arm that morning. And the morning before that. And the morning before that.

“Kaylia, right?”

“My concern ,” Spock continued as if McCoy hadn’t spoken, his eyes meeting some spot beyond them both, “stems from the potential risk such emotional entanglements pose to our current endeavor.”

McCoy’s smile curved into something dangerous.

“I see, I see… So, the Captain’s love life. That’s what’s stressing you out, is it?”

Spock’s jaw worked from side to side. “I fail to see the relevance of his personal relationships to my emotional state.”

And damn him, Leonard actually believed that. He leaned in, fixing Spock with an intense stare.

“Look, Spock. I'm a doctor, not a counselor, but I've seen the way you look at Jim.” He raised a hand when Spock opened his mouth, no doubt to deny it or try to explain the accusation away. “This ain’t just about the ship, or your current endeavor, or whatever the hell we’re calling it today.” When Spock didn’t answer, McCoy’s harshness receded slightly. He could feel it shrink within him, going from hot to cold in an instant. 

“There's something more there,” he continued earnestly. They were well past it being a question. It was a damn fact as far as he was concerned, and he was sick and tired of pretending it wasn’t. “Way I see it is, you may be a Vulcan, you may have even fooled yourself, but you're not fooling anyone else.” 

In the end, that got Spock’s attention. The dark eyes that swiveled down to meet his had a dangerous flicker to them. An ember he couldn’t help but stoke.

“I've known Jim a lot longer ‘n you have, and this? This ain’t about a single thing except you being jealous .”

Spock's mask wavered, another current of vulnerability passing over him like a spectre.  When he finally broke his silence, he spoke with a voice that was measured and low.

“That is a highly illogical hypothesis, doctor. I am not capable of experiencing jealousy, and even if such were the case-”

“Oh, cut the crap, Spock. I've known you long enough, too. You've got feelings, and they're more n' just friendly when it comes to Jim.”

Spock raised a brow, the barest hint of a frown crossing his features. 

“It is not… ‘crap.’”

“It is crap,” McCoy snapped, smacking an open palm against his desk. Spock stared at it stiffly. “Admit it, Spock! Seeing him with someone else is tearing you up inside." He narrowed his eyes, baring his teeth in a not-quite grin. Struck a nerve, did I? "How many days has it been since you slept, anyway? Have you gotten a wink since she walked onto this ship?”

“Your analysis is flawed," Spock spoke quickly, his speech pressured in a way the doctor hadn't heard before. "I am merely concerned with the Captain's ability to remain impartial. These matters often do not work out favorably.”

McCoy shook his head. “So, what? You’re worried she’ll break his heart?”

Spock didn’t react other than to pull his lips into a thin line.

“Ah, no. You're worried she won't.”

Spock was speaking again before McCoy had even finished accusing him, and if he had to give it a name he'd say he sounded downright irritated. Yeah, well, join the club.

“I am not governed by emotions. I am not worried, nor am I jealous-”

“Yes you are.”

“Furthermore, my feelings would be irrelevant regardless of-”

“Irrelevant my foot .”

A pause. “That doesn’t-”

“All’s I’m sayin’, Spock,” McCoy raised his hand and his voice to cut the other off, eyes screwing shut in his frustration. “You might want to face those feelings head-on before they gut you.”

They held each other's gaze for a prolonged moment, McCoy’s silent office beginning to feel heavier and darker than before.

“As you have already pointed out, doctor,” Spock spoke quietly now, the tide of irritation ebbing away. “You are not a counselor. I am here to seek a simple sleep aid, if one is available.” 

After several more seconds, Leonard finally broke their eye contact to slam a drawer open. He tossed the bottle of pills at Spock, who caught them with cat-like reflexes that annoyed him more than it should have. Spock held the bottle low and looked down at the capsules, watching them fall over each other as he twisted the bottle side to side. McCoy bit his tongue, waiting... and what’ll you know? It paid off for once.

“Suppose your hypothesis is correct,” the Vulcan eventually murmured without looking up. “What is the solution?”

McCoy blinked. “Spock.”

Only then did their eyes meet again. McCoy sighed.

“Emotions don’t have solutions. Alright?” A ripple of impatience pushed itself into a frown on Spock’s lips. “But,” he continued, “they do have causes. Usually, anyway. Is that- Does that make any kinda sense to you?” Spock nodded once, straightening his spine. McCoy considered for a moment, his lips pursed. “Jealousy, for example, is usually caused by…” He leveled a careful look at the other man. “Well, I don’t have to tell you. It’s biblical.” Seeing the bewildered expression beginning to take shape, he rushed to clarify. “A tale as old as time. You want to be in her place.”

Spock averted his gaze again, then shook his head once. “I do not.”

“I don’t mean you want to be a diplomat, or a pretty redhead, or on the mind of every man aboard this ship.” He let out a short huff of breath. “Just the one man, right? And he’s currently off on some observation deck somewhere…” McCoy trailed off when he noticed Spock’s hands flex around the bottle, taking a moment to send some irritated thoughts Jim's way. Blind, stupid idiot.

“Am I getting anything right, here?”

Spock rolled his shoulders. “This is… not my area of expertise.” 

“I know,” he said in a way he hoped was kind. He meant it to be kind, anyway. “Like I said, there ain’t a solution to feelings, but... In this situation, there are a few outcomes. And outcomes are sorta like solutions, right?”

Spock opened his mouth as if to disagree, then shut it again and gave a curt nod.

“Right. Okay. So,” he held one hand up as a visual representation, “one outcome is, you keep doing what you’ve been doing. Hope it goes away, hope each beautiful woman that comes along never stays too long. Hope you can keep ignoring it forever, and hell, sometimes that’s what it takes.” He took a deep breath, allowing his lungs to fully empty again before pressing on. “Sometimes, though,” he raised his other hand, looked at it as if he was actually holding something suspended in the air, “it never goes away. It just becomes… different. Sometimes better, sometimes worse.”

He fixed Spock with a severe look before dropping both hands back to his desk.

“And since you can’t know, there’s no way to know- well, that’s why us humans decide to do something about it to find out.”

Spock remained perfectly still until he swallowed, throat bobbing with what looked like effort. 

“‘Something’ is vague terminology,” he pointed out, deadpan. “Clarify.”

McCoy flipped his restless hands skyward. “Well, we talk. Ask questions we don’t know the answer to.” A gradual smile broke across his lips. “Kiss each other, maybe, if the moment’s right.” 

Spock looked more uncomfortable than McCoy had ever seen him, but he couldn’t even enjoy the blotches of subtle green that bloomed over both cheeks because of the pit of worry weighing down his stomach. Damn.

“You are saying," Spock began to summarize slowly, "that my options are to continue attempting to suppress my emotions… or to inform Jim of them.” The green in his face darkened as McCoy nodded. “I admit, I do not favor either prospect.”

The doctor chuckled, but it sounded hollow. “Yeah. One of the scariest things in the world, tellin’ someone who’s important to you that…” He looked Spock up and down. “Well. That they’re important.”

The Vulcan remained silent, finally opening the pill bottle and rolling two tan colored capsules into his palm before looking up at McCoy again.

“Thank you, doctor,” he said simply, and the words held a tightness to them so poignant McCoy couldn’t think of a single thing to say as he watched Spock take his leave. 

The next time he or Jim tried walking into his office to worry about the other one, he was gonna lock them in a conference room somewhere, even if it meant crashing the whole damn ship. And he was gonna demand a drink first.

[shut-up-danny-kun]

today I bring you a chunk of a Spirk WIP that will probably never be finished. I thought someone might still enjoy it.

(Bones and Spock talking and both being extremely stubborn. Teen and up.)

* * *

It was strange, sitting at a table with Dr. McCoy and watching him sip from his cup of (frankly, disgusting) earl grey tea. Spock himself had opted for a traditional Vulcan blend of medicinal plants - his only source of vitamins for the past five days. The tea warmed his empty stomach, reducing the pain slightly.

“Well?” McCoy suddenly asked.

“Excuse me?”

“I've sat down and had your damn tea. Are you going to explain what's going on in that magnificent brain of yours?”

Spock put his half-empty mug on the table.

“You will, obviously, not disclose any of this information to anyone.”

“Of course, not unless it's required for your treatment.”

“Including the captain.”

The doctor sighed quietly and looked at Spock with a pained expression.

“No. I can't guarantee you that and I can't lie. But I can guarantee that I will try my best to make sure he doesn't have to know. Deal?”

A terrible predicament. The captain finding out lead either to the worst or the best outcome, and the odds leaned heavily towards the former. Still, Spock was going to have to trust the CMO's word.

“Deal.”

He took a deep breath, steadying himself, very aware of McCoy's gaze on him.

“You are correct in your assertion that I have not been eating for the past five days. I have also been unable to meditate or enter deep sleep for twelve days.”

McCoy sighed sadly.

“You know, Spock, I have to hand to you - for a man who hasn't slept in almost two weeks, you do a great job of pretending you're fine,” he remarked.

Indeed, Spock felt a surge of pride.

“Why, thank you, Doctor.”

“Any ideas on what's causing this?”

This was the delicate part: he needed to find a way to explain the problem while skirting around the root cause, and McCoy had just proved that his reasoning skills were above average.

“Extended mental strain.”

McCoy's eyebrows rose.

“Oh. Alright, that's something. See, now I'm going to have to talk to Jim so he'd reduce your workload...”

“No.”

“No?”

“The strain is not work-related. In fact, my research is one of the few things that distract me from it.”

Spock picked his cup back up and drained the rest of the tea in one big gulp. McCoy leaned towards him in his chair.

“As you are aware, Vulcans were once a deeply impulsive species. Though we have learned to retain control over our minds, some impulses still remain that must be...supressed.”

McCoy took a second to process before making an induction.

“So, you're supressing something powerful.”

Spock hated to be obvious, but somehow, he was relieved that McCoy said it for him. He nodded silently.

“What is it, then?”

“I'm afraid I cannot disclose that information.”

“It may be crucial!”

“If you can indeed treat me, you do not need to know. There are urges which cannot be acted upon.”

The doctor leaned back in his chair, thinking.

“Hmm... Give me a moment.”

A minute ticked by in silence as he finished his tea. Spock listened to the calming thrum of the warp engines, imperceptible to the human ear. Then, McCoy spoke again:

“Can you tell me this: does your condition possibly have anything to do with your recently broken bond to that woman, T'Pring? I know it happened months ago, but it's possible you're only feeling the effects now.“

Spock was once again astonished by the doctor's intuition, and found that his respect for the man was growing by the minute. Not that he'd ever admit that. He had not even considered the impact of a broken bond.

“That may be a contributing factor.”

A satisfied smile spread across McCoy's face.

“Well, Mister Spock, the good news is you don't have to tell me anything, because I think I know exactly what's going on here.”

Spock's heartbeat sped up. Surely, he couldn't...

“Three words: James Tiberius Kirk.”

His stomach dropped at the mention of his name, and all hope was lost. He knew, and Spock was nothing but an open book. Far away, a galaxy exploded.

He jumped to his legs to do something, stop this somehow, but what could he do? Erase McCoy's memory? It would be unacceptable even in such dire circumstances. So he stood there uselessly and stared at him, somewhere between enraged and scared.

The doctor, meanwhile, looked amused.

“You've given me all the puzzle pieces! “Please don't tell the captain”, said you're supressing an emotion - and wouldn't you know it, your marriage bond happens to be broken and unoccupied. Wouldn't you like Jim to move in?”

He chuckled.

“Look at you! A pointy-eared machine of a man, dying of lovesickness. Never thought I'd see the day.”

“You dissapoint me, doctor,” Spock said, his voice low and dark, “I had hoped you were performing your duties as a healer. I see now you are here merely to humiliate me.”

McCoy stood up also, and his smile faded.

“No! This is all to help you. I said I'd heal you and I will, one way or another.”

“Allow me to make a prediction. You suggest reporting to the captain himself.”

“Yes! Don't you think Jim deserves to know?”

“Quite the opposite. Informing him would put him in an extremely disadvantageous position. If he were to reject me, he might reason that he is to blame for my suffering.”

The doctor looked at him. There was something melancholic in his blue eyes, as if he was remembering some other story similar to Spock's.

“Did it ever occur to you that he might reciprocate?”

Spock's heart began to hammer, his mind soared. It was a beautiful thought.

“Unlikely.”

McCoy smirked and sat down again. He shook his head, more to himself than to Spock.

“You think you're so clever, and yet you know nothing.”

Spock stood there quietly, wrestling with his mental defenses.

“I'm no expert either, but you'd have to be blind to not notice that Jim's crazy about you! The whole damn ship knows already! He looks at you like you're some kind of supernova. All I hear from him in sickbay is “where's Spock?” and “how's Spock?”, and when he's singing the blues over a glass of whiskey, what does he tell me? Spock again. The doctor's orders are to go to his quarters right now and tell him exactly what you're feeling. Jim will provide you with all the treatment you need.”

How naïve, Spock thought.

“All is not as simple as you suggest.”

McCoy was obviously dead set on his answer.

“Well, do it your way. I don't know your courting rituals.”

“That is not the issue. For humans, relationships are a far more trivial concern. If I were to take Jim as a...partner,” Spock explained, struggling to form words, “It would have to be forever.”

McCoy's expression was incomprehensible. He thought for a beat, and then sighed.

“Because of the mental bond?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, I agree, that's a big commitment. But that's even more reason to talk to him about it.”

Spock trembled, struggling to keep his emotions leashed.

“I prefer to live in ignorance, Doctor.”

At least this way, the glimmer of hope kept his heart beating. He imagined Jim saying he couldn't agree to spend his whole life with one partner, saying he preffered a human, a woman, that he simply didn't love Spock. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth painfully. He doubted he would survive the rejection.

“Spock, are you alright?”

Do not let go. Do not let go. If he were to slip up, then...yes, now he knew what would happen. He would break down crying. He would be unworthy of calling himself a Vulcan. Blood drainined from his limbs, his body quaking, his head feeling like it was being crushed in a hydraulic press.

“Spock. Listen to me. Take a breath.”

He opened his mouth. The air filled his burning lungs.

“Good. Breathe out.”

He obeyed.

“Let's do that again. Breathe in slowly...breathe out. In, out, in, out...”

For a moment, he could let his brain rest and numbly listen to Dr. McCoy's voice. He breathed until his heartbeat slowed slightly, and opened his eyes.

McCoy was bent over Spock where he had collapsed on the chair, close, but not touching him. He could feel the doctor's compassion simply from the way he spoke.

“You've made your point. You need medical interference. Can you stand?”

Spock put his hands down on the chair and slowly pushed himself up.

“Good. In ten minutes, I want you down in medbay for infrasound therapy. We will also discuss medications and give you some hypos with nutrients.”

“You will not tell the captain,” Spock whispered weakly.

“No, I won't. Swear on my badge.”

They stood in silence for a while, the weight of what had just transpired heavy on their shoulders.

“Thank you, doctor.”

“It's my job.”

[ibm7094lover]

Is Sarek abusive?

After a lengthy argument/discussion with my mother (og Trekkie, strangely unfamiliar with K/S culture), I seem to be at a stalemate. It's fascinating because there's a lot of points on both sides. I'll provide my own argument and my mother's argument under read more.

Mine:

-Sarek's behavior (and by proxy, many Vulcans) towards Spock's mixed genetics is a direct contradiction to IDIC (Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations) as Spock represents a small portion of that ideal: Mixed race, arguably queer, and neurodivergent.

-In the Star Trek 2009 deleted scene, Sarek calls him "so human," and from some theories it's believed Spock was surgically altered to appear more Vulcan

-Arguably, you could say this was so other Vulcans wouldn't bully him for looking so human, but we already know how that went.

-Amanda is passive in her parenting, and does little to engage Spock in human traditions along with Vulcan. She goes along with Sarek's beliefs, even if it hurts him.

-Sybok was exiled(?) for embracing emotion and encouraging others to do the same. Michael ran away and is a complete emotional mess (but probably the best out of the three). Spock has identity issues. See a pattern?

-Tuvok is seen to embody a healthier ideal of Vulcan: Permitting himself positive emotions, because it is illogical to deny himself of that. You could imply Sarek's family is just very dysfunctional.

-You can only go so far when excusing behavior with culture, but if someone is being hurt or caused harm, however indirect, it must be addressed by the society or a third perspective in order to improve.

Mom:

-everyone is abusive by modern standards / by human standards, everyone's abusive

-Sarek is an extreme outlier for marrying a human

-Most surgical procedures for Spock make sense, because they'd have to fix some conflicting issues (iron-blood/copper-blood, organ arrangement, etc.) but it is sad Sarek thought to change Spock's appearance when it didn't hinder him in any way.

-By Vulcan standards, Sarek isn't abusive because if anything he's less strict than other Vulcan parents.

-Sarek wasn't considered abusive when the show aired, and he isn't considered abusive now.

-You can't judge another culture by your own standards. (Side note: also believes you can't judge the cult in MidSommar for drugging someone, along with other things they did because it's "their culture.")

With all this in mind, I'm curious to know the general consensus around this topic. I'll leave some extra context below:

My mother comes from an extremely abusive family. Jack Stauber's Opal-level abusive. (I showed her the film and she cried with me) As such, it's understandable that we might have different definitions of abuse, given the generational difference (she's an older mom) and cultural difference (she's Mexican).

Because of this, I'm a pretty sheltered kid, but that also means I don't have a lot of exposure to difficult situations or significant abuse. I can acknowledge that I still have a lot to learn, and I'm trying to peel off my black-and-white mentality as well. I'd appreciate any feedback relating to this and the poll above so I can revise my perspective if I'm wrong!

[digitaldavis]

Rough thoughts on the movie in no particular order now that I have a moment:

Going in with the heavy hitters 'cause I can't stop thinking about it but Lui's claims that he is the first person to ever partner with a Digimon are unsubstantiated and lack hard evidence - also, unless it was explained in Kizuna and Tri, I'm pretty sure Digimon Adventure contradicts this?? (I'll check into this when I have more time, don't @ me).

The implication that Ukkomon made all of the Digimon hostile towards one another so that the Digi-Destined would fight to defend themselves and therefore Lui is nonsense and even if there is nothing to directly contradict it in Adventure and 02, I'm gonna hard pass on that canon because it lends itself too much to the idea that all Digimon would just be wholesome and good if not for Ukkomon making them fight and that feels like it excuses the things that Devimon, Piedmon, MaloMyotismon, and the other villain Digimon did or removes their free will?

Also, have I mentioned what Lui said didn't make sense???? Lui might be closer to Tai's age so it's feasible he could have become digi-destined around the same time as Tai but DUDE, Owikawa and Cody's dad discovered the Digital World and Digimon when they were kids????? AND THAT WAS AGES BEFORE LUI WAS BORN. It just doesn't make sense unless this is some alternate universe where that didn't happen or Lui is a time traveler or something (which is possible they did time travel...)

Speaking of, I'm so interested in the implication that Lui went back in time and talked to his mom about his younger self and she seemed to snap out of it for a second, like, if that was a permanent change do you think he created another alternate reality in that instance?

Moving on though, Davis. DAVIS. Seeing him in the film cured my depression. His reaction to Lui's mom was so so so Davis and I felt so strongly about it and then Ken's immediate "we can't we could ruin our own future" response is exactly how I've always imagined a time-travel AU would go between them.

ALSO: DAVIS AND KEN. The flirting. Ken just straight up grabbing both of Davis hands. (He's so COMFORTABLE WITH HIMSELF NOW) Ken throwing himself off Paildramon after Davis. I'm LIVING. The little high five they did to congratulate themselves. Ken's remark that summoning Paildramon was a little much seconds after I was like "wow that's so gay and unnecessary". Both of them were just so on point in this film. Davis was upbeat and optimistic and just believes the best in people/digimon so hard and when his tendency to charge in got in the way Ken was there to mellow him out so he didn't do anything rash.

Yolei did feel kind of off for some reason in the film but that might have been because I was so excited for the film that I couldn't pay attention to everything that was happening. I was only able to see it once and I missed so many things I know it. I can't wait for it to be released physically so I can own it and just rewatch it a dozen times.

Speaking of Yolei, though, I cannot believe the film framed her like Uhura trying to come between Kirk and Spock (which is comically absurd btw). In nearly ever scene possible it's Davis, Yolei but slightly offset and then Ken beside Davis. Like the animators are desperate to push the Kenyako narrative, like, clearly they know about the Daiken feelings being very strong with fans but they were trying to visually remind us painfully hard that, hey, actually the pairing is Kenyako. But buddy did that feel forced and it's probably why Yolei felt off to me.

J U S T I C E F O R C O D Y. That's all.

THEY COULD HAVE LET ROBBIE DAYMOND DO A TERRIBLE TEXAN ACCENT!!! THEY SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST TRIED!!!!

Kari actually didn't have very many major lines in the film I felt like but I loved the little scenes of her at the beginning, actually, though, she was kind of just there next to T.K. the entire time because the film also framed them together so hard it's SO WEIRD THEY AREN'T CANON.

T.K. though. God he was just so T.K. in this film. The trauma of losing Patamon in Adventure and then whatever happened in Tri like. It was just the most T.K. thing to do and say when they were talking about what they had to do. But also, I loved whenever the cops showed up and Davis goes "WHAT, HOW DID THEY FIND US?" and T.K. was like "ARE YOU KIDDING!???? YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND SUMMONED A GIANT FLYING MONSTER!!!!"

Honestly, this movie was everything I ever wanted really. About three minutes before we went into the movie I was talking about ghost game with my friend and how I wished it hadn't been for kids because it had such great and frankly horrifying concepts and everything was just sunshine and rainbows for children and nothing bad ever really happened which was disappointing.

And then I watched The Beginning. This movie felt so much like coming home from the start because I felt like I knew these character's so well (I lost count of how many times I sat in the theater and said a thing, only to have one of the character's also say the thing a second later), and everything was so bright and nice and then it became an eldritch horror show.

Let me tell you, when I watched the trailer for the first time I said to my friend "dude what was with that trailer??? The music????? Why is it so sinister???" and, despite that, I still did not see the horror coming and neither did anyone else in the theater. Everyone and I do mean everyone went very still and quiet and tense the second the first hint of bad began. We were all so unprepared and it was very upsetting.

As I was leaving the theater, I heard a woman fighting with her husband over having brought their very little daughter to see the movie. The mom clearly thought it was a fun kids movie because it was animated and whoever is in charge of American films absolutely thinks all animated movies are for kids so it wasn't rated which is how the film industry always handles anime films.

They seem completely incapable of understanding that animation doesn't equal child friendly. Watching it, though, it's never been more clear that a Digimon movie was for older audiences than watching The Beginning. Like, this film was not for kids. This film was for us. The setting. The themes. The fact that 79% of the entire movie is exposition/dialogue...

When the little girl's dad asked her if she liked the film as it ended, he sounded strained and his wife was complaining that the film was going to give her nightmares and while his daughter said yes, she liked the film it was in a way that you could tell that no, she didn't really because she had no idea what was going on - it was bright and colorful and there were cute characters sometimes so that was probably fine but she couldn't have been older than six so it was probably very boring for her.

That is one of my few complaints about the film, actually. It was nearly all talking and exposition. I wish there had been more action. I wish it had been a little more light hearted and goofy at times. The eldritch horror/really messed up part of the movie felt like it went on forever but that might have just been my lack of prepardness for it. I was just so shocked even while my brain was like "yes, this is what we always wanted I AM LIVING" - also because I imagined that kind of awful, dark underbelly of the world of Digimon existing for the character's I already know and love.

Nothing is going to stop me from headcanoning that Davis reaction to Lui's mom being The Worst was so immediate and visceral because he's dealing with his own trauma from his mom's refusal to accept that he's trans, okay?

I didn't care a great deal for Lui and Ukkomon obviously disturbed me to no end - I know it wasn't Ukkomon's fault, they didn't know better but also it's fair to say that I was scarred for life about Lui's parents and the baseball bat scene and I would probably like Lui a lot more if his story weren't all conjecture and exposition. Also he was so negative (understandably) and was such a downer the entire film, honestly, thank god Davis and his endless queer energy was there to breakthrough to Lui and help him see the light of queerness friendship.

Anyway, did I mention Lui's claim that he's the first ever human to partner with a digimon doesn't make sense to me? I've thought about it a little more and, fine, maybe it's possible that Lui could be the first person to partner with a Digimon but the idea that everyone else became Digi-Destined because of him and Ukkomon still doesn't sit right. Oikawa didn't get a digimon until he was an adult and died and so even though he knew about Digi-World he technically didn't become Digi-Destined and the Digital World could have existed for ages before anyone partnered with a Digimon. Those things aren't mutually exclusive, I have to remind myself, but it just doesn't feel right to me and their claims being baseless seems more legit.

Okay, I'm done, that's it for my rough thoughts on the movie, I think. They probably won't get any clearer. I'm gonna use the film to further my Trans!Davis/Daiken headcanons for sure though.

One last thing though and it's that my friend said he hated Lui because Lui took away from the 02 kids and I had to remind him that Willis exists in Hurricane Touchdown and the majority of that film is Willis and Davis talking/fighting and the other kids just existing. It's not some wild new Digimon format to have a new Digi-Destined to center the plot around.

And speaking of the plot, a final thought is on the bit where their Digivices weren't relevant anymore. That isn't off-brand either actually. I don't like that they disappeared because I have an emotional attachment to them but I understand that the narrative was not needing to prove their bonds with their Digimon and therefore anyone can have strong bonds of real friendship with or without a Digivice aka being Digi-Destined - it also makes sense with the whole "we didn't need the tags and crests to Digivolve our Digimon because our real strength comes from within" narrative that the OG Digimon Adventure established. The Digivices and tags/crests were just tools to remind them of their bonds with one another.

Anyway, that's it. I'm shutting up. This post got so long I'm sorry but also if anyone wants to share their thoughts on the movie or my bad takes but in a fun way that's cool feel free. I'm always here to talk about Digimon and how this is gonna influence all my future headcanons things but seriously don't @ me out of malice. K THX

[indeedcaptain]

Spirktober 2023, day 27: Scratches

Buh-bam: here's another little drabble. Behold: Bones finds out.

☆☆☆

“Bones, please, it’s not a big deal. They just sting a little bit.”

“Not a big deal? Jesus, Jim! Would you have even told me if Uhura hadn’t ratted you out?” 

“No, I wouldn’t have! Honestly, I didn’t even know they were there.” 

“There is blood! Coming through your shirt! How did you not know they were there?” 

Jim scratched the back of his head, staring at the bioscanner beeping cheerily next to him. His heart rate, blood pressure, and temperature all looked great. He didn’t have any broken bones. He was in an excellent mood. But Uhura had seen a tiny bit of blood staining his command golds and gasped, “Captain!” loudly enough for the rest of the bridge crew to turn to look at him and voice their concerns. 

All, of course, except Mr. Spock, who had refused to turn to see what was happening, staring dutifully into his sensors instead. Jim had deputized him to take the conn and departed for medbay before he could laugh.

Unfortunately, Bones did not think the blood on his shirt was as funny as he did, and he was rapidly running out of excuses. 

“Was this from an away mission? Did someone with a grudge come after you in the gym? Let me see, Jim---”

“Bones, stop! It’s fine! I swear, I would have told you if it was serious, and it wasn’t serious!” 

“Oh, so you do know where they’re from?” 

Jim bit his lip and refused to meet Bones’s eyes. “I don’t know,” he said unconvincingly. Bones planted his hands on his hips, raising his eyebrows. 

“Alright, then!” Jim pushed himself to his feet. “Since it’s all fine and nothing is wrong, I’ll just go home and change---”

“Don’t you even---”

Jim tried to duck out of the way, but Bones was faster. He caught the back of Jim’s collar in one hand as Jim twisted away, and with an almighty rending of fabric the damn shirt tore halfway down his back. If he ever met someone from Starfleet Fabrications and Material Construction he was going to have words with them. The number of shirts he had ripped on this mission alone…

Bones stared in disbelief at his exposed back as Jim fought and lost to the rising flush on his cheeks. “So I’ll be going now,” he said. 

“Jesus, Jim,” Bones said again, softly. “Someone did this to you.” Bones gently reached one hand up, and the look on his face was so distraught that Jim knew he had to tell him the truth before he assumed something far worse. 

“No, it’s not like that. It wasn’t in anger.”

The distress drained away immediately, replaced with suspicion. The extended hand clenched into a fist and was returned to Bones’s waist as the good doctor regarded him with narrowed eyes. Jim’s face burned hotter and he knew he was as red as a summer tomato, but he held eye contact. 

“Someone clawed at your back hard enough to break the skin, and it wasn’t in anger,” Bones said. 

“That’s correct, doc.” 

Bones eyed the scratches on his back --- that Jim truly had not known were there, hadn’t even registered them as painful in the moment--- and then Jim saw, in the dawning shock and amused horror on Bones’s face, the pieces coming together. This wasn’t exactly how he had intended to tell his best friend that he had finally managed to successfully woo his first officer, but the truth will out. 

“Well, at least that’s a relief,” Bones finally said. “Whose hands are so damn big?” 

“Can I have another shirt, please?”

Bones finally turned away from him, heading towards the storage closet. Jim followed. “I would appreciate your discretion, doctor,” Jim said. 

“In what, Jim? Your adventures across the galaxy aren’t exactly a secret. You don’t normally sleep with crewmates, that’s true, but I suppose…” 

“It’s not like that this time, Bones,” Jim said. 

“Not like that? Who am even I talking to right now?” Bones muttered, pulled a new black t-shirt from a box in the closet, and turned back to him. Then Jim saw Bones’s eyes fixate on his face and shoulders and take him in--- his flushed cheeks, his half-smile, the scratches on his back that had been left by someone with great strength and enormous hands. He grinned wholeheartedly as Bones spluttered. 

“Jim Kirk, you did not.” 

“Oh, but I did,” he said, with great delight, and took the shirt from Bones’s limp hands. “And I intend to do it again. And again. Maybe forever.” 

“Stop,” Bones said immediately, throwing his hands into the air. “I don’t want to know any more. Matter of fact, I don’t want to think about this topic at all.” 

“Are you sure?” Jim teased, following Bones back out into the main Medbay. “I thought you wanted to know what happened. Weren’t you so worried just a moment ago? Can I at least get an antiseptic?” 

Bones grabbed a tube of antiseptic from a biobed drawer and threw it at him. “Get out!” 

“You’re not going to help me?” 

With a withering look, Bones turned to disappear into his office. “Get your boyfriend to do it.”  “Maybe I will!” Jim called, and Bones slammed the door in his face. He was having an excellent day, and it wasn’t even lunchtime. With a spring in his step he departed. Maybe he would call Spock to help with the antiseptic. They were due for a few conversations, anyway.

[t0ast-ghost]

S2 episode 19 (A Private Little War) I should be asleep but I’m gluing images of fish to my notebook instead.

Here’s the trek:

- THE MUGATO??? (I’m sorry lower decks mentions this creature…)

- First time seeing Spock bleeding? I mean there’s Journey to Babel but other than that I think this is the first time

- “Bones can you save him?” God he’s so desperate and so is Bones

- “I’m sorry. I’m worried about Spock.” (Edit: not sure who says this but fairly certain it’s McCoy or Kirk)

- M’Benga?!? :O

- “I can’t leave Spock at this time.” Even with another doctor there, McCoy doesn’t want to leave Spock alone

- McCoy asking if he has a choice like he wouldn’t go with even if he did

- Now two of McCoy’s boyfriends are dying. The upside is that it’s a McCoy episode. Downside, they’re dying.

- Is she using an aphrodisiac plant on Tyree?

- M’Benga and Chapel time! SHE WAS HOLDING SPOCKS HAND?!? Oh god.

- McCoy must think he’s somehow taken acid (edit: again idk what the fuck I was talking about)

- “Our souls have been together. He is mine now.” EXCUSE ME

- Love how casual M’Benga is, like yeah just do whatever Spock says when he wakes up

- “And I have the wrong husband.” Ooh shots thrown

- Oh my god! I never would have guessed that the Klingons were involved!

- “Hit me! Harder!” Scotty’s so confused as to why Spock is asking this and why trained medical professionals are agreeing

- “Have you gone out of your mind?!” Yeah bones has a point, 1. It’s stupid 2. She’s definitely controlling Jim

- Literally stop with the Mugatos

- Did McCoy just get shot and not give a fuck? Yeah.

- Do NOT give him more weapons it was a bad idea to begin with and it’s a bad idea now

- “Spock, you’re alive?” McCoy’s happy

Eh, okay episode… not really sure what happened. I’m posting the next as well cause I just didn’t have a lot of thoughts on this one.

Masterpost

Episode story by Jud Crucis

Teleplay by Gene Roddenberry

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. i'm WAY behind. friday we watched voy's "tattoo," saturday i finally womaned up and agreed to watch ds9's "the visitor" and then we also bravely soldiered on to "hippocratic oath," and last night we did ds9's "indiscretion" and "rejoined."

tattoo (voy):

it's a real shame about (waves vaguely at racefaking "expert" on voy's writing staff) because, due to my own lack of education, i never know which stuff is based in fact and which is just wholesale bullshit. i remember one time i googled something about chakotay's culture because it seemed so obviously fake, and it turned out to be Kind Of True But Not Like That. it sucks because not ONLY was it a huge missed opportunity for Representation And Education (tm) but chakotay is a really interesting guy and i'd like to know more about him and see him get to do more stuff without him getting buried in the like. mysticism and racism of it all. it's no good for him and it's no good to sit through either

bc like. at this episode's core. if you could somehow remove the racist panflute and the whole thing where we portray people from THE SPACE TRAVELING FUTUREEE as primitive savages, you could have had a good story. chakotay struggles with not feeling at home where he lives/in his own culture, goes to space about it, then has an emotional crisis when his dad dies while the two of them are on bad terms. i know that's a good story and i know star trek can make that a good story because do you know who else has that story? SPOCK.

LIKE. IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY. WHAT WERE YOU DOING!

anyway, chakotay naked. i know he was naked for the wrong reasons but that man had his whole ass out. bold moves heretofore only taken by sir patrick stewart himself. GOOD FOR HIM!

oh yeah the b plot of this episode sucked. we have to give the doctor a cold because of his lack of compassion? since When has he ever complained about sick or whiny people? been gruff with them, sure, tough-love kind of guy definitely, but no one would program a doctor who hated serving patients?? i did like that kes gave him an extra hour to be evil though. i love her so much

the visitor (ds9):

i don't want to talk about it.

or, no, i actually already talked about it, and i don't have anything to add, except that 1. christopher nolan can still suck it 2. every episode of ds9's 4th season so far has made me feel like i need to give it a "must see" on the spreadsheet. i almost can't believe i'm watching star trek. i have to start grading the damn things on a curve

hippocratic oath:

THIS IS WHAT I MEAN. stuck with the jem'hadar and julian is like "i can fix them" and o'brien is like "i have been racist my whole life and i'm not about to stop now and also you cannot fix them so i am going to condemn them to a horrible death in order to save your life" because he did at the beginning of the episode say out loud with his mouth that he wished his wife was more like julian bashir and then promptly refused to examine that thought even a little bit

like this had EVERYTHING. gay people. ethical dilemmas. twink with a spine of steel. worf forgetting he's no longer in tng. my best friend odo disguising as an inanimate object. and i'm supposed to just give it a WATCH?

like, i was right there with julian. fix them fix them fix them it's so easy they CAN be weaned off of it this could change everything i was so livid with o'brien for condemning those guys to a painful and undignified ending and for repeatedly ruining julian's attempts to help with all his attempts to escape and then he was like. yeah. i did all that to save YOUR LIFE because i saw that YOU were in danger.

and it obviously doesn't excuse anything and you get the feeling julian COULD have helped them with enough time and the right tools and and and...but he didn't have all that, and obrien KNEW he didn't have all that, and he wasn't willing to risk his friend's life on a gamble when it came to helping enemy soldiers

like, it's his fucking cardassian ptsd. note how he didn't speak when they were captured but bashir did because the gun was on his friend. note how he had to explain why the commander couldn't escape with them. IT MKAES SO MUCH SENSE FOR HIS CHARACTER. who hasn't done horrible things for the people they love? if his wife doesn't get back soon he's going to be asking for julian's hand in marriage by season 5

indiscretion (ds9):

KIRA PULLING THE THORN OUT OF DUKAT'S ASS. sorry i'm good i'm normal

something about dukat...at first he was very boring and flat, and then he was funny but still pretty 2-dimensional, and then he was funny AND gay with sisko but still 2-dimensional, and now he's got all kinds of depth. i completely wrote him off as generic cardassian villain at first but i am genuinely thrilled to see him every time he shows up

like, the bajoran lover and the daughter is such an amazing plot twist, but also, sorry to say this, he and kira have q and picard energy. as in, q wants picard to fuck him so so so bad, and picard has zero interest in doing this, and somehow that interest gets even lower the more q wants it, and the lower his interest gets, the more rabid q is for him, and it's probably the only thing i really enjoyed about either character, a few of sir patrick stewart's better speeches aside. dukat is exactly like that with kira. he is GAGGING for her strap and she finds him vile and rephrensible and the closest they got to fucking was when she pulled the spine out of his ass cheek and laughed at him and he probably is going to put that in the spank bank for the rest of his life. and she will still never fuck him

really fun when she told him to shut up and he shut up <3

i just love episodes that deal with the fallout of the war...it's always such incredible character work. i was worried that with the dominion threat these kinds of episodes would go away and i'm glad that's not the case

also, hi, sisko fumbling things with his gf for the b-plot. dax and julian giving him romantic advice and then mocking him when he leaves. jake being the only one who can talk sense into him. incredible. 10/10

ALSO, not only did capt yates make him work at that apology she did NOT kiss his ass goodbye. and he deserved it.

even quark was funny in this episode, despite the misogyny. he was nice to jake in "the visitor" so i think i've forgiven him because i've made at least two quodo jokes since then. my first love will always be kiraodo (kodo?) though

rejoined (ds9):

LESBIANS IN STAR TREK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

as previously stated about 600 times on this blog i DID NOT KNOW there would be a gay kiss happening. i thought btvs held the honors for the first gay kiss and that this was going to be like an allegory or a metaphor like in tng. and i did like the tng ep for what it was! but holy shit this blows that out of the water.

i think it's so important that this would have been absolutely NO different whatsoever if either half of the couple had been a man. for the time period especially it's very much like. Queers Are Just Like Us which i think is an important step 1 to reel in potential bigots who are still on the fence. i cannot believe my mother is going to watch this episode someday

also, hi, the allies in this episode...? julian sitting through that WHOLE dinner without the first word of complaint. sisko telling dax it's a bad idea but he'll back her tf up. kira bewildered that any of it is any problem at all. sisko's moment was especially nice bc at first you think he's being a dick which is out of character for him and then you realize 1. he's scared for her 2. he loves her 3. he would probably fight the homophobic (recursionphobic...?) trills with his bare hands if he had a good excuse

it's also nice that zero people in this episode were weird about the idea of two women together. it was SO NORMAL. god i can't believe andor let those two women touch hands for a single shot and called it progressive between that and spn my standards are through the FLOOR!!

TONIGHT: ds9's "starship down" and "little green men," and then we're finally back to voyager.

[data-is-my-favorite-android]

While I generally like St:SNW Those Old Scientists as a fun crossover episode with lots of lighthearted shenanigans, there is one part that really bothers me as a storyteller, and that's when Boimler spills the beans to Christine that in the future her relationship with Spock doesn't make the history books and that at some point he goes back to his "real" unemotional self and stays that way for the rest of his life.

Now, I do like the Spock x Chapel dynamic. I would be happy if the writers diverged from well-trodden canon to give us a more balanced Spock in a supportive relationship (with Chapel or anyone that makes Spock happy, tbh). I'd also be fine watching how their relationship organically falls apart because, while tragic, it could be interesting character-wise. It would make me sad, but if it makes sense for the characters and that conclusion is "earned" by deft storytelling, yeah, I would accept that.

What irritates me about that scene with Boimler is that now, if Spock and Christine do part ways, it can never truly be earned by their own missteps and failings. Instead of watching how particular aspects of their personalities and unresolved previous traumas become their relationship's undoing, there will always be this niggling question about how much Boimler's conversation with Christine influenced the course of events. Instead of watching them try their damndest to bridge the gaps between themselves but stumbling at critical junctures, now there will always be this question of how hard did they really try when they both know that their relationship's dissolution is preordained, confirmed by a man from the future? From a character perspective, there will always be that doubt, that easy escape route, that "well, it was never meant to be, so why try?" excuse at the ready when the going gets tough and they're faced with caving to their previous patterns or stepping up to do the work to change for each other.

On a meta level, it's plain sloppy storytelling, in my opinion. Just like it makes it easier for the characters to back out of a "doomed" relationship, it makes it infinitely easier for writers/showrunners to just wave their hand and say "and then they broke up because they were always supposed to break up!" without having to show all the appropriate steps it took to get there. Like, don't start a character arc like that if you don't plan on honestly and thoroughly exploring it through to the end. Don't give us a Spock exploring his emotions and his human side and then say, "Well Boimler told him the future needed him unemotional, so he gives it all up and rejects his humanity again." No! When your character experiences positive growth and then backslides, you better have a damn good reason why, and you better show your work. There are many avenues the showrunners could take to make such a rejection of his human-ness understandable and even justified. Many have already been discussed on this here webbed site. There are already plenty of pitfalls before a Spock x Chapel relationship that would pose interesting narrative and character challenges; adding that extra "confirmation" from the future that things don't work out doesn't add anything. (If anything, it could indicate that the showrunners painted themselves into a corner by presenting the audience with a generally liked/charismatic relationship before realizing they had no good excuse to end it, at least not in the time they have in the season).

Honestly, this criticism isn't motivated solely by my appreciation for spapel, or even my love of Spock and my desire to see him be in a happy relationship with anyone (he has so many good choices!). I'd be irritated by this dismissive kind of storytelling in any context. And I could be jumping the gun a bit; we haven't seen yet how this plays out, and maybe the showrunners have a trick up their sleeves. Maybe, despite saying repeatedly that they plan on sticking to the canon, they'll reverse course and set out for uncharted waters. But I'm giving them serious side-eye right now. That scene, that side-plot centering on Boimler's anxiety about Spock's emotionality, feels like a contrivance to me and ultimately unnecessary. There were plenty of other ways to fill in the B-plot of that episode that wouldn't build in a "get out of jail free" card on the spapel issue and explaining why Spock goes from being curious about his humanity to rejecting it entirely.

[hakka84]

Meta: (half)Vulcan's temperature

@jennelikejennay interesting meta reminded me that I never shared here on Tumblr the meta I wrote about Spock's temperature back in 2011. So here it is. Copy/pasted from Livejournal.

----

To be hot or not to be hot? This is the question.

Ok, I'll be serious: your host here has finally found the answer to one of the most controversial things in the Star Trek K/S fandom: Is Spock's temperature higher than a human's? The answer is in TOS so I'll play with pure canon here: no need to read books or such but just watching closely the series itself. I'm sure I'm not the first one to notice but... hey, repeating doesn't hurt, especially when people keep going on about Star Fleet Medical Reference Manual being not canon.

Evidence n°1: Dagger of the Mind

Spock isn't seen near a monitor's biobed except as witness of Van Gelder's apparent craziness. But let's take a good look to the values in the monitors when Van Gelder is on the biobed. Don't mind the actual arrows, as the human isn't really healthy at the moment, but look at the values' scale: we can disregard all the others as we don't need them. Take a look at the brain's waves if you like but save only the temp, the first one on the left.

On my dvd player on tv this work was easier because of an useful zooming function but, thanks to the power of aleniakalain's dvd, I hope this cap will work for you too: I'll help you.

.  .  .

Evidence n°2: Naked time.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Joe Tormolen's readings, just to see how a healthy human reads.

Let's have a better look at the readings

.  .  .

Evidence n°3: Naked time

Spock is healthy, Bones makes us sure of that. By the way, how hot is Nimoy in the black undershirt? Let's take a look at the readings. Bear in mind that these are Spock's average readings, when he's not influenced or under disease.

As you may see quite well, Spock's reading of temperature is quite under the green line, somewhere between 33 and 34°. At a rough guess the double arrows are marking 33.7/8. Spock's brain waves are far above the average.

So… canon speaks: Vulcans (and Spock) are colder than humans and Bones line about "that green ice-water you call blood" isn't a pipe dream.

There are two others times where we can see a Vulcan's reading but they can't be taken into account because in both of them the Vulcan wasn't really health.

Mirror, Mirror: Mirror Spock is, to Bones words, “dying” and all the lines are fucked up: I keep the brains waves as base and when these change too much then I consider the readings null for this little essay.

Journey to Babel: Sarek's readings. His temperature is higher than Spock's but he is under surgeon and all his readings are scrambled. Again, I can't really consider them reliable.

Anyway, canon says quite clearly that Spock isn't hot but cold. We're speaking of two C°, nothing excessive, but that’s it. It may have no biological foundations and you may say it has no sense at all: I can agree. However, Star Trek (TOS, in this case) made us quite used to biological nonsense. If a brain can be removed from its rightful body to then be put there again without any damage, if androids can be infused with a human's "pattern", if one's soul can be transferred in lightning globes (and so on), then we cannot really be squeamish on a simple change of temperature, right?

I know this sounds like a minor thing but since I've read that bit about Vulcan's temperature on Memory Alpha[memory-alpha.org/wiki/Vulcan#Medical_conditions] I have been curious to know why many people insisted on still writing Spock as "hotter". The old school is quite frankly excused as they had no captures to work on (later it came VHS but really, you can't read tiny bits on a recorded video). Recently I raised a geek discussion about it on Deviant Art and I've been quite puzzled by the replies (being cooler not biologically explainable, the book being written without scientific basis and all). They all had their reasons and they weren't just saying "it's this because I want it!" - hell, that's what I love about this fandom: things are discussed! - but I entered one of my stubborn mode... and I can be quite stubborn if I want to.

Then aleniakalain came to my house and brought the dvds... when watching naked time I jumped from the couch (killing her in the process), almost hit my head on the screen (blame the carpet) and zoomed until I found the answer. Then I searched a better view of the monitor for better reference and so on.

This's the result of half an hour spent with aleniakalain searching the right captures! Hope that helps clearing the issue!

*      *      *

Addition n°1: What this makes of us K/S shippers

verizonhorizon's comment reminded me that, originally back in January when I got home from vacation with my First Officeraleniakalain, I wanted to add my two cents about what happens to K/S bed scenes.

Ok, we have Spock who's colder - a little bit - and we have a room hotter than usually - for keep Spock warm because we don't want for our favorite half-Vulcan to have his pointed cute ears drop off. We have also a cute quilt with a little Enterprises' pattern, because our Vulcan likes to sleep under blankets. Logically our hot Captain Sexypant would die in a pool of sweat, right? But, what if perhaps Spock, being cooler, helps our snuggle-ish Jim from feeling like during a sauna session? Hugging Spock could give him the little cold he needs to feel right even in a warm room and under a blanket (even if I'm sure he ends up out of said blankets in the middle of the night).

Basically when Spock is made hotter we have a snuggle-ish Jim with his personal warmer while Spock endured having cold feet and a... well, cooler against himself. We just turned this upside down and is now Jim who has to be the man with the woman's cold feet and hands against his body in automatic search for warmth. XD

.  .  .

Addition n°2: Does this make sense? Again verizonhorizon, who points out that has no sense having a cooling system overworking to keep blood cold in a hot room (well, not these same words... :P). This makes me think, and it's probably the only issue that is still unclear in this matter. As far as I remember (and my mind has more holes than Gruyere cheese), in the series (TOS) nobody says Vulcans need higher temperatures. We know they live on a desert planet and the climate is freaking hot when Kirk jumps on the Kal-if-ee wagon. But, if we keep the desert reference, usually during night the temperature considerably drops. Perhaps the only logical explanation could be found seeing how desert animals' inner system work. Off course I'm not speaking about scorpions or snakes, but mammals like meerkats, foxes and such. This may start a great discussion! Unfortunately, I'm not expert enough to examine datas about these animals... anyway I can provide what I found.

Meerkats have a temperature similar to humans' (36.3ºC / 97.3ºF). They have an efficient ability to regulate temperature and, living in such harsh climate, they have a lower metabolic rate than their cousins living in other parts of the world, allowing them to live with less water and food. Their oxygen consumption is 42% below the value expected from body mass (Vulcan has a thinner atmosphere than Earth - if I remember right - but at least I'm sure there is less oxygen there and Kirk has difficulties to breath right).

Fennex foxes have a temperature of 38.2˚C (100.8˚F), but they are typically nocturne animals and during the day they live in deep dens under the sand to protect themselves from hot climate of desert's day. They are also provided with large ears (*coff coff* Spock?) to dissipate heat.

Camels vary between 34°C to more than 40°C, depending of how much they can dissipate the heat through evaporation. If they have free access to water they tend to have lower temperatures.

.  .  .

Addition n°3: Cold or hot? Both? alliegator as an interesting hypothesis. I'm quoting her, because there's not need for me to elaborate.

"I'm no biologist, but it is my personal head canon that Vulcans are both hotter AND colder than humans. My science-fictiony, pseudo-xenobiology reasoning that would actually fit with the above source: Vulcans have a normal core body temperature (91 F) lower than humans (98.6 F). Humans lose heat through their skin and extremities, so the surface of the skin can be much cooler than the core temp. Now I see Vulcans with their fast pulse as having a very efficient body heat regulation system, so possibly their surface skin temperature is much closer to their core temperature.

"So, theoretically, if a Human (98 F core temp) were to walk up to a Vulcan (91 F core temp) and touch them, to the Human (estimate 80 F hand skin temp) the Vulcan (estimate 87 F hand skin temp) would feel warm. Even though the Vulcan's core temp is lower than Human, the Human's skin temp is lower than the Vulcan's."

.  .  .

Ok, off-topic conclusions: 1) I feel a trekkie and I always hated people (a Star Wars' fan I'm friend of) who wasted time to search for things the canon left unclear or making essays about "no it's like this" and "what if...?"... 2) I've done again a biology little research because of Star Trek, the first being about wolves/canines and feline reproduction - you don't wanna ask believe me... 3) I have now in my mind's eye the disturbing image of meerkat!Vulcans standing at meerkat!Spock's failed wedding... The Lion King can ruin an innocent life!

[anonymousewrites]

Logos and Pathos (Book 2) Chapter Eleven

Spock x Empath! Reader

Chapter Eleven: Trouble with Klingons

Summary: (Y/N) has to watch out for Klingons, but they seem intent on messing with the Enterprise crew. That's fine. (Y/N) will handle them.

            As (Y/N) waited to be sent back down to Deep Space Station K-7, they were far from bored. Uhura had been gifted a tribble by a travelling merchant, and it had no multiplied into more than twenty. So far, no one was complaining, though, since their little trills were calming. Their effect on others’ emotions were pleasing as well, so (Y/N) was enjoying themself not dealing with negative emotions as they pet a tribble.

            “Spock, they’re so cute,” cooed (Y/N) as the pleasant emotions of calm humans washed over them.

            Spock looked at them. He found (Y/N) cute as they played with the little animals, but he wasn’t going to admit that. “They do seem to have a calming effect on the crew.” He was pleased to see (Y/N) to relaxed.

            “Here! Pet one. It’s nice.” (Y/N) held out a white tribble.

            Spock knew he should make a logical reason to not pet the tribble since there was no reason for him to other than it would be pleasant (close to an emotion), but he couldn’t’ say no to (Y/N)’s eager expression. “Very well.” He held the tribble and softly petted it. Spock was not immune to its charm.

            “How long have you had this thing, Lieutenant?” asked Bones, looking at Uhura.

            “Since yesterday, Doctor,” she replied. “This morning I found out that he—I mean, she—had babies.”

            “Well, I’d say, in that case, you got a bargain,” joked Bones.

            “You running a nursery, Lieutenant?” asked Kirk.

            “Oh, Captain. Well, I hadn’t intended to, sir, but the tribble had other plans,” said Uhura.

            “Did you get this at the space station?” Honestly, Kirk was just surprised that one tribble had become twenty overnight.

            “Yes, sir,” said Uhura.

            “A most curious creature, Captain,” remarked Spock. “Its trilling seems to have a tranquilizing effect on the human nervous system.”

            “Celian, too,” added (Y/N), sighing happily as they played with the tribbles.

            “Fortunately, of course, I am…immune to its effects,” said Kirk as he stroked the tribbles fur.

            “Oh, yes. Of course,” teased (YN).

            Spock did not reply for the sake of his pride.

            Kirk smirked and chuckled at the interaction, exchanging significant glances with Bones. “Well, Lieutenant (L/N), I hate to remove you, but I need you to return to K-7. Baris is getting nervous about all the Klingons, and even if they don’t try anything with the wheat, I think negotiation might be needed.”

            (Y/N) smiled. “No problem, Captain, I’ll head right down.”

            “Be careful,” said Spock. “The Klingons are volatile.”

            “Don’t worry, Spock. I can handle what they throw at me.”

l

            After they ordered, (Y/N), Scotty, and Chekov sat down at a table while the other nine officers (twelve in all to match the Klingons’ numbers) occupied another.

            “Excuse me, but may I interest you in a tribble?” said Cyrano Jones, the merchant whole gave Uhura a tribble.

            “No, thank you,” said (Y/N).

            Jones shrugged and left, walking over to the Klingon table. “Ah, friend Klingon! Might I interest you in a tribble?” He held out a tribble, and it trilled angrily as it neared the Klingon.

            The Klingon, Kolax (Koloth’s right hand), glared at it distastefully and backed away. “Get it away from me.”

            “I’m sorry, I can’t understand it,” said Jones in confusion as the tribble screeched. “I’ve never seen them act this way.”

            (Y/N) cocked their head. Interesting. Tribbles don’t like Klingons.

            “Get it out of here,” repeated Kolax.

            “They never act like this,” said Jones.

            “Take it away!” barked Kolax.

            “Yes, of course,” said Jones as the tribble cried out. He walked over to the bar.

            The waitress arrived at their table and handed out drinks.

            “When are you going to get off that milk diet, lad?” teased Scotty.

            “This is vodka,” said Chekov, huffing.

            “Where I come from, that’s soda pop,” said Scotty. “Now this is a drink for a man.”

            (Y/N) chuckled. “Scotch? I have to admit, I think Celian drinks are the best.” They lifted their cocktail, ‘Passion.’ It was pink with a fruity scent. “Delicious with just the right kick.”

            Scotty considered. “I once had a scotch variant in a drink called Déjà Vu from Celia. That was excellent.” He grinned. “I was drunk as a skunk afterward, but it was good.”

            The trio laughed together as they relaxed for the first time in forever. Their peace was interrupted as Kolax spoke loudly from the bar.

            “The Earthers like those fuzzy things, don’t they?” remarked Kolax, looking at the tribbles. “Well, frankly, I never liked Earthers. They remind me of Regulan bloodworms.” The Klingons laughed, and Chekov scowled. Aggression dripped from Kolax like oil.

            “That does it!” cried Chekov.

            “Easy,” said (Y/N).

            “Well, there is one Earth man who doesn’t remind me of a Regulan bloodworm. That’s Kirk,” spat Kolax. “A Regulan bloodworm is soft and shapeless. But Kirk isn’t soft.” The Klingons snickered. “Kirk may be a swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood…but he’s not soft.”

            Chekov tried to stand, but Scotty held him back. “Easy, lad.”

            “Don’t let them get to you,” said (Y/N), ignoring Kolax’s poisonous emotions. “They’re trying to get a reaction. Don’t give them the satisfaction.”

            Kolax turned his attention to (Y/N). “Celians are tolerable, but they’re so…sensitive. I’ve heard some are good for their looks, and I guess that’s true.” He smirked. “I guess the Federation keeps some of the softies around for eye-candy.”

            “Mx. (L/N)!’ said Chekov. “You can’t just let them talk about you that way.”

            (Y/N) smiled calmly. “I can take some insults, Chekov.”

            “That’s right! Such a good sport,” sneered Kolax. “And that means I can say that the only reason you’d lower yourself to deal with Federation weaklings must because you like that attention.”

            (Y/N)’s gaze darkened, and Scotty and Chekov looked at them watchfully.

            “I mean, why else would they be kept if they weren’t sleeping around?” sneered Kolax, the disdain clear in his voice.

            Chekov’s hand curled into a fist, and he stood, but (Y/N) was faster and approached Kolax. They could ignore the ugly crawl of his emotions on their skin, but they wouldn’t just sit there.

            Kolax smirked. “You know, we’ve been in space a long time. If you want a little fun that’s better than these Earthers and Vulcans, just let me know.”

            (Y/N) laughed, taking Kolax, Scotty, and Chekov aback. They sighed and smirked condescendingly at Kolax. “Me? Lower myself to sleep with the likes of you?” They scoffed. “As if. You don’t even deserve the time I waste talking to you.”

            “Alien whore,” hissed Kolax, his anger reaching red-hot intensity.

            “Yep, that’s me, and you wish you could get some,” said (Y/N), rolling their eyes.

            Kolax made a move to hit them, and Chekov and Scotty were on their feet in a second to defend their friend. Scotty swung and hit Kolax in the face. The other Klingons were on their feet in an instant, and Chekov tackled one. Brawls between Enterprise officers and Klingon agents broke out around the bar.

            (Y/N) sighed as chaos reigned. Oh, boy. This is a mess.

l

            Aboard the Enterprise, Kirk paced before the twelve officers who had been in the bar when the fights with the Klingons broke out. Spock stood with his arms crossed in the corner.

            “I am forced to cancel shore leave for both ships,” said Kirk in frustration. “I want to know who started it.” No one spoke. “I’m waiting.” He sighed. “Freeman. Who started the fight?”

            “I don’t know, sir,” said Freeman.

            “Alright. Chekov…” Kirk raised an eyebrow at the ensign. “I know you. You started it, didn’t you?”

            “No, sir, I didn’t,” said Chekov.

            “Well, who did?”

            “I don’t know, sir.”

            “ ‘I don’t know, sir.’ I want to know who threw the first punch!” Still, no one answered. “Alright, you’re all confined to your quarters.”

            “Captain, witnesses assure that (Y/N) was not involved in the fight,” said Spock. “And their specialties will be needed.”

            Kirk nodded. “Right, right, the rest of you, dismissed.” He stopped Scotty as well as he went to leave. “Scotty, (L/N), you two were supposed to prevent trouble.”

            “Yes, Captain. My apologies,” said (Y/N).

            “Who threw the first punch?” asked Kirk.

            “Um…” Scotty coughed uncomfortably. “I did, Captain.”

            Spock raised his eyebrow in surprise. Normally, Scotty was excitable but sensible.

            Kirk blinked. “You did, Mr. Scott?” He looked at (Y/N). “What started it?”

            (Y/N) winced. “Well…the Klingons were trying to provoke us, Captain.”

            “They insulted us!” said Scotty indignantly.

            “Must have been some insult,” said Kirk.

            “Aye, it was,” said Scotty, his face wrinkling in disgust.

            “You threw the first punch,” realized Kirk.

            “He was doing a really good job controlling himself, but the Klingons just kept pushing,” said (Y/N). “They got pretty mean.”

            “Pretty mean?! They called Kirk a swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood!” cried Scotty.

            “And that’s what caused the fight?” asked Spock, raising an eyebrow.

            “No, no, I know the Captain can take a few insults,” said Scotty.

            “Ah,” said Kirk, admittedly a little disappointed at Scotty’s blasé attitude towards those insults. “So what did the Klingons say that did started?”

            (Y/N) coughed awkwardly. “Well, uh, Kolax called me a whore.”

            “And then he went to attack them!” said Scotty indignantly. “I mean, maybe they could hold themself back, but I couldn’t let that slide.”

            (Y/N) smiled. Scotty was a good friend.

            Spock’s eyes narrowed imperceptibly. He greatly disliked that the Klingons had insulted (Y/N) like that. He knew that they were attractive and that drew attention to them quite a bit. Unfortunately, Spock himself had seen people make unwanted advances on (Y/N), and he hated it. He hated seeing them uncomfortable. In fact, while Spock preferred peace to violence, he admitted to himself that he would struggle to keep his composure if he was in Kolax’s presence when he insulted (Y/N). They didn’t deserve it in any way.

            “(Y/N), I hope you were not injured by Kolax’s attack,” said Spock.

            (Y/N) shook their head. “No. I avoided the fighting.”

            Kirk sighed. “We’re glad you’re alright. Scotty, while you had good intentions, I do have to confine you to your quarters.”

            Scotty smiled. “Thank you, sir. That’ll give me a chance to catch up on my technical journals.” He left the room happily.

            “Captain, as (Y/N) was uninvolved in the physical altercation and may be needed for negotiations with the Klingons, might I suggest that you—” began Spock.

            Kirk waved a hand. “They’re not getting punished. They handled themself well.” He nodded to (Y/N). “Good job, Lieutenant.”

            “Thank you, Captain,” said (Y/N).

            “I’ll try to smooth things over. God knows what Baris’ll say about this,” sighed Kirk, leaving the room.

            (Y/N) sighed. “I know he says I did a good job, but I didn’t really do my job, did I?” they joked, glancing at Spock. “I should have realized that snapping back at Kolax would only worsen the situation.”

            Spock took a step closer to them. “Kolax was disrespectful. You handled it with your words. I find that approach logical.”

            (Y/N) raised an eyebrow. “Even though I insulted him back?”

            “Admittedly, that was not the most diplomatic approach.” Spock looked at (Y/N). “But I still approve.” (Y/N) blinked in surprise. “I…It displeases me to see people take advantage of your kindness. I think you rightfully defended yourself.”

            (Y/N) smiled. “Thank you, Spock.” Their face fell. “I just wish people didn’t assume that because I’m attractive and friendly it means I down for everything. I’m not. I’m more than a pretty face.”

            “Your value has never been in your appearance alone,” said Spock, reaching out and resting his hand on their upper arm. “I value you for your mind.” And your heart. But he wasn’t going to say that.”

            (Y/N)’s smile returned with a dusting on pink on their cheeks. “I’ve always been able to feel safe with you, Spock. Thank you for that.” They looked at Spock with love in their eyes, although he couldn’t identify it. “I’m glad you’re here.” Their hand moved to cover his hand on their arm, but they held themself back in order to not cross any boundaries.

            “As am I,” said Spock. Realizing his hand still rested on their arm, he drew it back and cleared his throat. “And if you need help making sure people do not cross your boundaries, I am here to offer you my assistance.”

            (Y/N) grinned. “You do have an imposing presence. People would listen to you. I’ll let you know if I need any help.”

            Privately, Spock promised himself to intervene in any future issues. It was illogical to believe words constituted a threat, but he couldn’t stand by if (Y/N) was hurt. They—Well, they weren’t his partner, but he would protect them as if they were.

            After all, Spock loved them.

            (Y/N) felt their heart swell up as Spock assured them that he was there to help them. To know that he respected them and wanted them to be respected by others felt wonderful. (Y/N) could hardly contain their desire to reach out to him and hold him tight. Their emotions were bright as their gaze met his.

            If only Spock knew how much (Y/N) loved him.

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[fandomshatepeopleofcolor]

Hi, I would like to talk to you about your comment under my friend Summer's post. As a lesbian, I have to say that saying that "bisexuals exist" under a post about a character being seen as a lesbian/lesbian-coded is pretty lesbophobic of you even if you didn't mean it, as many times posts about characters being seen as lesbians whether canon or not get derailed with people saying that the character "could/should" be bi(and thus making it so that the character is into men). Also Summer is a bisexual Black woman so them getting rid of Percabeth isn't misogynoir and it's certainly not bisexual erasure because, like they said, Percabeth is incredibly cisheteronormative and REEKS of comphet. Also a lot of lesbians see themselves in Annabeth and agree that she is lesbian-coded and that her relationship with Percy can be seen as comphet, including myself. Respectfully, this was not your place to go "bisexuals exist". Yes, we know that bisexuals exist, as op is a literal bisexual himself, but that doesn't excuse derailing a post about a character being perceived as a lesbian with "okay but they could be bisexual ackshully". Yes, bisexual erasure exists, but a character being seen as a lesbian when they are portrayed straight in canon ain't it. Women and lesbians in particular face a lot of pressure to be into men and to center men in their lives, so you saying "bisexuals exist" is adding to that societal pressure even if you think it's not, even if you think you're doing something good. If you see Annabeth as bi, then make your own post about it. Don't come onto a post about her not liking men to remind us/op that she could like men. We already know that women are expected to like men. I'd appreciate it if you apologized and deleted your reblog. Thank you.

Hi thisismisogynoir, I appreciate that you and your friend are of a certain opinion here wrt Annabeth being lesbiancoded.  But I’ve been in fandom for over 20 years, and I’d like to share my perspective. 

There are two fundamental topics going on here, race and queerness.

First, race: there’s this urge when there’s a racebent female character (and Annabeth is now Black) that fandom wants to sever her ties to the main character and usually its romantic.  

For example, take cw’s the flash. In the comics, Iris was white but for the tv show the CW hired Candice Patton, a black woman. Lots of people were angry about this and  were insisting that the white redhead in the cast (caitlin snow played by danielle panabaker)  should be Barry’s love interest instead. They were very persistent and made fandom unbearable.  Another example,the original Roswell series had Maria DeLuca played by a white actress, but for the reboot, Roswell New Mexico, they racebent Maria Deluca and cast the afrolatina Heather Hemmens in the role.  Now that Heather was Maria, everyone wanted Maria to not be in love with Michael anymore  and the showrunners just so happened to give Michael another love interest, the whitepassing Alex. Michael was still one of the main characters and Maria, who was now a Black girl, was separated from him in favor of this whitepassing male character Alex.  There’s even an older, much more blatant example of this in the form of Nyota Uhura (yes I know she’s never been racebent but bear with me).  Back in the original series Uhura had chemistry mainly with two people, Chapel and Spock.  (  Now granted I loved original series Chahura (not really sure on the actual spelling of their shipping portmanteau sorry) shipping but now in the reboot Kelvin timeline there’s this urge to declare Uhura a lesbian again, when she has a canon romance with Spock.  There are plenty more examples of this pattern.

I realize you’re both Black and I’m not, and I really don’t want it to seem like I’m dismissing your lived experiences.  With all due respect though, it kinda doesn’t matter that you’re Black in this case?  It doesn’t really matter that you don’t intend misogynoir but rather what the impact is of this particular post. If the intent is to make Annabeth a more fleshed out character, that I can wholeheartedly agree with.  However you’re opening up a dangerous avenue where white fans can point to you and say "well here’s two Black women who agree with me that Annabeth should be kept far away from Percy!!!”  except they won’t word it that way they’ll use your words and say “here’s two Black fans that want Leahbeth to be a lesbian because she’s lesbian coded!!”

Speaking of, let’s talk about queerness.I get that there’s lots of different readings for canon but I’m kinda worried that you are mistaking your fanon reading of Annabeth as a lesbian and trying to project it on Leah/Annabeth, Imagining additional experiences unaddressed in canon is fair game, but it’s honestly hurtful to undercut, take away, and reduce a character’s experiences. IMHO you can advocate for a more fleshed out characterization of Annabeth without excluding the fans like me who really appreciated Percabeth. And yes I am biromantic asexual so I would love to see another bisexual character be the main focus of a new, mainstream show.

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