#but i came across a gorgeous photo of a plant i had just bought and i honestly don’t remember it lasting long

[bugdotpng]

i’ve mentioned this before, but my pottery instructor unknowingly altered my neural pathways with the simple phrase “you get to try again”. every time i lament over my failures—ruining a piece in pottery, killing plants, etc—i just remind myself “you get to try again” and sometimes it’s enough to make me just shrug it off but other times it makes me WEEP. how BEAUTIFUL it is that i get to build my plant collection again. like it blows and i’m mad about it but i get to try again 🥺

[alwayspondering]

Promenade and Photographs

V x MC (Nala) | MysMe RBB

Hi! I had the pleasure of collaborating on this amazing project for @mysme-rbb with Mochi! The art that they created for my fic is spectacular! Check out Mochi’s Instagram HERE! ^^

Jihyun took in a breath of crisp fall air, the smell of fresh flowers misted over by rain enveloping him. Sunflowers. Lilac. Violets. This moment seemed too good to be true. Far too good, too pure, too lovely. Too full of light – of hope.

He couldn’t imagine a more picturesque moment. Walking the path to the nearby park with his beloved, he laced his hand seamlessly with Nala’s. Jihyun purposefully slowed his brisk pace to a leisurely stroll. If there was a way to freeze time, this would have been the perfect moment.

A momentary pause in both of their chaotic lives.

Nala was so grateful for the moment alone with Jihyun. Though they had been dating for quite some time, she wanted to spend each and every second she could with him. Being with him made her feel so comforted - so cherished. He was truly a rock she could lean on even in the worst of times and vice versa.

Nala couldn’t help but smile as she recalled the first time she met Jihyun - though then, she knew him as simply “V.” She had worked with Zen in a few theatre productions, met the RFA a few months later, and found herself falling for the tall, kind-hearted, soft-spoken photographer.

It took quite a while for both to come to terms with their feelings for one another: a slow burn, to say the least. But that’s what made the trust they shared in their relationship so unshakable.

“This is so beautiful, Jihyun.” Nala mused, nuzzling in closer to Jihyun’s side as they continued their walk to the park. “I’m surprised we’ve never visited before.”

The path in front of them was sprouting with all sorts of colors - red, blue, green, yellow.

Everything seemed brighter than normal, like a filter resembling a dream world.

A soft blush colored Jihyun’s cheeks as he squeezed Nala’s hand playfully.

“...I was hoping you’d like it. It’s been quite some time since I’ve been on this path. But aren’t the flowers here gorgeous?” His gaze scanned the nearby flowers, grateful they were still as vibrant as he remembered. With the eye damage he had suffered, he was lucky to have Nala to help him through the treatment process. He wondered what would be different if he hadn’t denied help at first - but he knew there was no room for regret.

Nala smiled to herself, returning the playful squeeze to the strong hang laced with her own.

“They really are. I can definitely see the appeal.” She commented with a soft laugh, recalling some of Jihyun’s past photo exhibits.

Most of Jihyun’s photos were of flowers - Lilies, roses, chrysanthemums. She considered herself immensely lucky to be with someone who has such an eye for beauty.

“...By the way, thank you for doing this. I really appreciate it.”

“No need to thank me. It’s my pleasure, love.” Jihyun’s voice rang in the deep, comforting timbre Nala adored. How had she gotten so lucky? She could hardly still believe that Jihyun was hers.

“It is my job, after all. You’re doing me a favor more than anything,” he continued, adjusting the lens of the camera that dangled in its case across his shoulder.

“I just can’t believe I’m making you take pictures for your job... On our date!” Nala joked light-heartedly, feeling giddy at the prospect of what the date would entail.

When it came to taking pictures, Nala oftentimes felt she was the farthest from photogenic. Everytime Jihyun took pictures of her, though, she felt and looked so powerful, feminine, and so entirely herself. He had a wonderful way of bringing out the best qualities of people in his photos.

“Hm... Would you believe me if I said that you are my absolute favorite person to photograph? How could that possibly be a nuisance to me?” Jihyun mused, stroking Nala’s hand with his thumb.

“I believe you.” Nala stood on her tip-toes to plant a gentle kiss on Jihyun’s cheek. The end of the path was nearing.

“Hey... before you start taking the professional ones, could we get one with just the two of us?” Nala considered, happy to see her words were followed by a smile from Jihyun.

“Of course.” Without a second of hesitation, he took his camera out of the case, holding it out to Nala. “I’ll let you do the honors.”

“Perfect!” Nala exclaimed, giddy that they would finally have an updated picture together. Especially with such beautiful scenery in the background.

Taking the camera, Nala extended her arm straight in front of her, angling the camera up so that both her and Jihyun fit in the frame. It was more difficult than she imagined - especially considering how tall Jihyun was in comparison. More than anything, Nala appreciated that Jihyun had trusted her with his camera like this.

She felt Jihyun’s hand rest on the small of her back - a gesture he knew Nala adored. Nala wondered if the blush that so obviously was coloring her cheeks would be seen in the photo. “Okay. On the count of three. One, two, three-”

As the word ‘three’ left Nala’s lips, Jihyun pulled Nala in close to his side - surprising her just enough for her smile to blossom as soon as the camera clicked.

• • •

A few minutes of walking later, the couple found themselves at the atmospheric park.

While he was with Rika, there were so many times Jihyun felt he needed to escape. To find a moment alone with his own thoughts. This was the place he often found solitude - true serenity.

He was grateful to finally be bringing the most important person in his life here - someone who brought him so much hope. This was a place he felt so at home.

“...Hm. There are weeds growing near these clovers. Let me just fix that real quick…” Nala bent down and plucked as many weeds as she could find. He loved how Nala so adorably demonstrated her passion for gardening.

Jihyun kept his fingers laced with Nala’s all the way until they approached the brick wall he designated for the headshot session.

The varied shades of red, browns, and burgundy would make for a perfect background. It would bring out the very subtle red highlights in Nala’s hair - the hints of blonde - her adorable freckles.

Jihyun ran through the monologue in his head he ran through with his clients, wondering how much he should keep the same or alter for his girlfriend.

He was delighted Nala was wearing her light pink cardigan; it emphasized her vibrant blue eyes even more than usual. The cut of the shirt emphasized her collarbones too - god, she is beautiful…

His mind began to wander - he began to visualize a little more than intended.

No. It’s time to be professional.

As Nala stood against the brick wall, it was obvious she was a natural when it came to posing. Zen had taught her well.

“All right, Nala. Can you give me a soft smile?” Jihyun instructed. The smile he adored so much appeared on her rose-tinted lips. Was she wearing the new lipstick he had bought her?

Click. Click.

“Great. Can you place your hands in your back pocket and roll your shoulder back slightly?” This also emphasized Nala’s bust ever so slightly. He tried not to let his mind wander any further than that.

Click. Click.

“Now give me some side eye…” At his words, her expression shone with a new color of sensuality. It was perfect for the camera. “...Good. Keep that!”

Click, click. Click, click.

“Wow. You are just breathtaking...” Jihyun took a moment to look through the pictures. Of course, she was stunning in every single one. He was right about the colors in the brick wall complimenting Nala well.

“...Okay. Hear me out. Look down, think of a secret, and look back up at me.”

“...A secret?” Nala raised an eyebrow at this. “I’m not sure I have many of those.”

“Oh, sure you don’t.” Jihyun teased playfully, adjusting the lens once more. A peal of laughter escaped the brunette’s lips.

Click.

Another beautiful, organic moment captured on camera.

“Okay, fine.” Nala pouted teasingly. Her gaze flickered to the grass beneath her feet. She took a moment to ponder.

And then, her gaze snapped up again. It rendered him speechless.

Click. Click.

Mesmerized, Jihyun took a few slow steps toward Nala. “...Tilt your head, just slightly to the right.” His own head tilted, wondering if just a minuscule angle change would define her jawline more.

“Do you mind if I adjust you, just a little?”

“Of course.” Her voice cooed.

Jihyun’s finger ever-so-delicately tilted Nala’s chin to the right and down towards the front angle.

There was little space between them now. The body he had memorized every inch of was just mere centimeters away.

The tension was palpable.

Without another word, Jihyun kissed Nala, both sinking effortlessly into the euphoria of the moment. Pulling away for just a moment, he waited for a sign from her to continue.

Nala pulled Jihyun in closer, pressing her lips against his. Her hand trailed from the nape of his neck into his teal-colored hair.

There was no denying they were all but pressed up against the brick wall now.

The kiss deepened - their breaths quickened - cheeks inflamed.

The reality of the public setting hit the two quickly. Laughs and explicit whispers were shared under hushed, giddy breath.

“...Would you like to finish this session somewhere a little more private, my love?”

[blxxdyvalentine19xx]

Dressed to the nines and high glam 👗

Jaden 'jxdn' Hossler x Chase 'lil Huddy' Hudson

Notes: male identifying Chase dressing up for jxdn

Chase was in his closet looking for a navy blue satin dress he'd bought the other day after a conversation with Jaden where the older boy had fallen in love with his hips. It was no secret that Chase had curves and he chose to use them to his advantage. Hearing Jaden walk into the bedroom; he popped his head out the door; grinning. "Hey, sit down and shut your eyes"

Not aware as to what his boyfriend was up to; Jaden cocked an eyebrow. "Ookay" he slipped his phone out of his pocket and fell backwards onto the bed: an arm under his head. "Want to tell em what you're up to?" Jaden asked; biring his lip.

"It's a surprise" slipping the dress over his hips; Chase grinned as the satin was cool against his skin. "And you can't laugh, Jaden" he said; pulling the straps up over his shoulders and admiring himself in the mirror. "Even if you think it's ridiculous" Drawing his hands over the fabric and straightening his posture.

Jaden couldn't think of much that he'd classify as ridiculous with his boyfriend. He was used to chaos with Chase and layed prey to the boy's ideas at times. "That could mean anything" he hummed as he scrolled through Instagram; smiling as he came across a photo of him and Chase.

Chase grabbed the heels and sat down on the bench staring to do up the straps on them. "Well...hopefully I didn't waste my time with this" once he had he heels on; Chase grabbed a drop necklace that Jaden had given him and his dangly earrings putting them on. "Eyes closed?" He asked; slipping a simple white garter over his exposed right thigh.

"Yeah, they're closed baby" he shut his eyes and dropped his phone on the bed. He could only guess what Chase had in store. "What're you up to anyway?" Jaden asked as he relaxed into the mattress.

Opening the door; Chase grinned as Jaden was laying on their bed; eyes closed and body relaxed. "Don't open them yet" he took a gentle breath and smiled as the fabric hugged his curves in all the right places. "Let me...c'mere" Chase took Jaden's hands; pulling him up off the bed. "Mmkay, open"

Jaden opened his eyes and looked at his boyfriend; eyes grazing over exposed collarbone framed by the necklace he'd given Chase. "You look..." he struggled with the words and licked his lips as the dress played at Chase's sweet body. A moan leaving Jaden's lips when he saw the garter on his boyfriend's thigh. "Can I...'he started.

Chase blushed as Jaden practically ate him up with his eyes. "Gorgeous?" He asked; batting his eye lashes and spun before planting a kiss to Jaden's lips. "Yeah of course you can" Chase felt like he was all that mattered in the moment with his boyfriend looking at him.

Seeing his raven haired boyfriend in a dress was almost overwhelming. The boy was beautiful and obviously loving himself in it. "Oh my god, Chase, baby, you're beautiful" Jaden smiled and pulled Chase in; his hand resting on his boyfriend's bum. He kissed him and held Chase against him. "Fuck, all I wanna do is worship you in this"

Hearing Jaden call him beautiful was music to his ears. "Really?" Chase squeaked out a surprised moan when Jaden's hand squeezed his ass. "Then do it" he mumbled and hooked an arm around the man's neck. "Please, baby" Chase almost whined as Jaden bit down lightly on his lip.

Jaden leaned his head down and kissed at Chase's neck; pulling the boy closer; he breathed out as Chase gripped one his shoulders. "I still can't believe you're mine" he ran one of his hands over Chase's thigh and hooked two fingers in the garter. "Look at you, all gorgeous and shit" swinging around; Jaden lowered them both onto the bed before dropping between Chase's thighs.

"All yours Jaden" Chase whispered; gasping as his boyfriend's fingers lit a spark inside him. "Did this all for you, baby" he bit his lip as Jaden kissed at his thigh; lacing his fingers in the man's hair he bit his lip.

Kissing up Chase's thigh; he slipped a hand below the dress and palmed over his boyfriend's dick. Jaden grinned up at Chase and purred as he grabbed the garter between his teeth.

Chase whined out and arched his hips as Jaden palmed him. He hummed out a breathy moan and whimpered as his boyfriend let go of the garter.

♡ ♡ ♡

Having grown increasingly comfortable wearing dresses, at least around Jaden. Chase tipped his head in thought and looked up. "Are you going to Kells's party next weekend" he asked Jaden; his head in the man's lap.

"I plan on it, unless things change" Jaden said and smiled as Chase appeared to be in thought about something. "Why, what's up?" He glanced down at his boyfriend; running a thumb over the boy's cheek.

"Would you be mad if I were to wear a dress to it?" Chase turned his head; leaning his cheek into Jaden's hand. "Like.. it would be something simple obviously" he loved how Jaden looked at him when he was in dresses.

Hearing what Chase asked; Jaden pulled his boyfriend upwards into his lap and kissed Chase's shoulders. "If you feel like you're comfortable doing it" he naturally felt like he'd have to be a little more protective of the boy but was okay with letting Chase do what he wanted. "I don't think anyone will care, they're used to Dominic wearing dresses at this point."

Hugging Jaden tight; Chase grinned excitedly as his boyfriend said he was okay with it. "I was just about to text Dom actually and ask if he'd go shopping with me" He said; kissing Jaden softly and laughing as the man curled his nose up in mock disgust. "You could come with us and hell me decide."

Jaden smiled happily as Chase's expression was excited and relaxed. "You two make the pockets hurt" on numerous occasions himself and Colson had seen how the two boys could make a 'quick shopping trip' turn into an expensive day. "But I can't resist seeing how happy you are picking dresses out."

Later that day

Dominic grinned when Chase told him what he was looking for and practically jumped in glee when the boy told him about the dresses. "Oh my god! You'd look killer in lace." He said and sought out on search of a sweet peach number and made Chase try it on.

Chase wasn't sure about peach tones on him but trusted Dominic none the less. He blushed when Jaden's eyes caught his. "You don't have to stay and listen to us." He smiled before disappearing into a dressing room.

"Mm, I don't mind it" Jaden had gotten more comfortable being with Chase when the boy was in search of a new dress to satisfy that itch.

Catching sight of Dominic and Jaden from behind; Colson went up and slipped his arms around Dominic. "Hey sexy boy"

Dominic squeaked when he felt arms slip around his waist. Nearly jumping out of his own skin: he let go of a relived sigh when he saw tattoos that could only be Colson's. "You weren't supposed to be here, what's up?" Dominic was suddenly aware of the possibility of Colson finding out about what he was up to.

He grinned as his boyfriend just about jumped out of his skin. "Its just me Dom" Colson kissed Dominic's cheek and smiled.  "Uhh, hey Jaden."

"Hey Kells" Jaden sat in the chair and pursed his lips as he made himself comfortable.

Hearing Colson's voice outside the dressing rooms; Chase went wide eyed and froze mid zip. "Oh my god!" He hadn't thought yet about how Kells would react and it oddly sent fear down his spine. "Ugh..." Chase assessed the situation and took a deep breath.

"I thought you said Chase was with you guys" Colson said; resting his chin on Dominic's shoulder. "You didn't loose him some where did you" he asked and buried his head in his boyfriend's neck.

Shaking his hands out as they were shaky; Chase shut his eyes and re grounded himself as best he could. "It's just Colson, he won't care" he told himself and zipped the zipper the rest of the way up.

"He's just in the dressing room, Kells" Dominic kissed Colson's cheeks and grinned as he heard Chase stepped out, hands over his eyes and a grin on his lips. "And now he's not in the dressing room."

Jaden grinned happily and went over: taking Chase's hands down. "Twirl?" He asked; rubbing his hand over his boyfriend's cheek. "You look good, baby, it's just Kells, you don't gotta be nervous." Jaden hugged Chase and reassured him.

Looking up: Colson stuttered out a weak "God damn" seeing his usually pretty quiet and reserved friend in a lacy leach dress was eye catching and confusing. "Holy shit! You look ho-" he hesitated and looked at Jaden. "Can I...am I allowed to say it?"

Chase let Jaden twirl him and beamed as the three men looked at him with proud grins. Something about Colson's stuttered validation felt right.

Jaden nodded and laughed when Colson asked for lwromission before calling Chase hot. "Yeah, we all know it's true"

"...hot" Colson squeezed Dominic lightly and smiled as the faux red head slapped his cheek lightly. "What?! He is baby" he mumbled and shivered when Dominic kissed him. "Chase, you're deffenitly wearing that to the party."

♡ ♡ ♡ day of the party

Jaden felt underdressed when he saw Chase all dolled up in the pink lace dress, white converse and the usual array of jewelry that adorned him. "Hell, you're so beautiful Chase" He smiled and pulled Chase into a warm hug, confidence radiating off his boyfriend.

"Keep saying it and I might believe it" Chase whispered, starting to question if he was doing the right thing. "I don't know, I feel good in it but I kind of also feel...nervous?" He wrapped his arms around Jaden's waist and his his head in his boyfriend's neck.

[jarofstyles]

Fan Club II

A/N: Let the tension begin to build 😈This part is a little shorter than the others but it’s a necessary step - n + d

send feedback and requests here

masterlist

pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

warnings: angst, anxiety attack, and tender moments

word count: 3.5k

Harry was confused on all levels. Y/N was in his brain like a damn worm and didn’t seem to ever be coming out of it. That was the most frustrating part. It had been about a week, his second bakery visit being short and sweet with another hug and asking for 2 more lemon squares, but he had been a bit bland with texting back. He was trying to distance himself. Not fall for the good girl next door act. 

“Harry, please at least make this believable tonight. I’ve seen a few tweets talking about you going to the bakery so someone must have been a fan in there, so make sure tonight you’re a gentleman to her. People are watching.” Jeff Warned. It wasn’t like Harry sat around and complained about her. He barely said a word. He did tell Jeff he didn’t trust her, but he had restricted any social media usage because he knew the moment he found Y/N’s pages he would stalk her for a while. He would need to make sure it didn’t happen. 

They were sharing a car to the restaurant, and everyone knew the secret so when they pulled up to Y/N’s place, Harry felt a little more relaxed. Jeff would take over until showtime at the restaurant. There would be paparazzi by the time they left, but going in would be far easier.

Y/N was nervous to say the least. This would be her first time being photographed officially with Harry, holding hands and everything. It was a big deal and she wanted to look nice. She had done her whole routine, showering and smelling nice, doing a light makeup that she saw all his past girlfriends do, and changed into her outfit. She felt sexy but still fashionable, definitely not too expensive. Just the right amount of everything. 

When she got the text saying the car was there, she knew it was game time. Y/N made sure to bring her keys, her phone, and wallet, putting it all in a small fashionable blue over the shoulder bag before walking to the elevator and making her way out to the car. 

“Hey.” Y/N smiled as she opened the door, climbing into the car and buckling up. God he looked delicious. His hair was all floppy, his outfit matching hers in a strange way. The two of them together looked good, she couldn’t lie. “You look nice.” She said once again, but she really did mean it. “Smell nice too.”

They both sat in the back seat, Jeff and his wife in the front. Harry smiled lightly and nodded. “Uh, thanks. You too.” He went back to his phone. Honestly, if he didn’t? He would have died. Honest to god died. Her tits looked immaculate. Harry hadn’t seen them like this before but he was nearly choking on the way he wanted to bury his face between them. The first he had dated weren’t really all that big in that department— nothing wrong with that. But she had the perfect amount. Perfect handfuls. Something he was positive would be lovely to suck on. Fuck— fucking hell. 

He had to look at his phone or he would get hard. Y/N smelled good too. Like coconuts, vanilla. He wasn’t sure if that was a perfume or a bakery thing but he enjoyed it thoroughly. They kind of matched, too. which was weird. They hadn’t discussed it. 

Y/N sighed a little, not really knowing what she was expecting considering they were in private. She would rather spend no time with him in private if this was the case. She went all out to look nice for him to just say, ‘you too’? God this would be hard. 

“Hi Jeff, hi Glenne, it’s nice to meet you.” Y/N spoke sweetly, “I’d give you a hug, but you know.” She chuckled and sat back, trying to ignore the fact that Harry was ignoring her. What a terrible fake boyfriend he was, really wasn’t into the whole method acting thing. 

“Hey!” Jeff greeted. “Are you ready for the first pap run?”

“You sound so cheery about it.” Y/N laughed, “I guess I’m ready.” She shrugged and pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear. “I reckon dinner will be fun, bit more excited about that. Get to chat with you all a little more.” It was the honest truth. She wanted to spend some quality time with Harry and with Jeff and his wife. If she was going to spend a full year knowing them? Hell, she wanted to make the most of it. She didn’t just want to fake being friends with them.

Was she serious? Harry thought. Come on. That wasn’t real. There was no way she actually thought they would buy that excuse. She didn’t give a fuck. No way. But of course— both of them bought into it. It was like Harry was the only one who could see that this was sketchy. That it wasn’t what was right. She was too sweet for her own good and that alone had Harry very, very suspicious. He listened to them chatter and took glances at her every so often. This would be torture for him. The whole thing. He was so physically attracted to her that he was worried that it may show when they weren't supposed to be acting. Y/N seemed to get along with them great. It was another thing that made him want to pull his hair out. She had to be bad in some way. No one was genuinely this nice and sweet without having a bad side. Gorgeous or not.

Jeff and Glenne were genuinely nice people, and Y/N was thankful that at least they were being open. Then again, Jeff was Harry’s best friend, then surely there was just something wrong with her. It had been a few days since they met and Harry wasn’t letting up no matter what she did. It would be a slow burn she assumed. She looked over at him, catching him already looking at her with a small smile. Y/N turned her attention back to the front of the car, watching as Jeff pulled up to the restaurant. 

It was go time. Y/N walked out of the car after Harry, moving her hand to hold on to his bicep as they walked towards the restaurant. She didn’t really have a method to her acting, she simply did whatever felt natural. Let herself go whenever they were out in public.

Harry placed his hand over hers and squeezed. He could tell she was nervous, and regardless he didn’t want her to be nervous here and feel upset. Especially when they’d be looked at and photographed. 

When they walked into the place, he looped an arm around her waist and let her lean into him. He felt a small hand on his jacket lapel and let her play with it as Jeff took care of the reservation arrangements. They’d been sat outside at a nice place with those bulb string lights, lots of plants. They’d be sat facing people so photos could be taken— but the people wouldn’t know that. He’d have to keep a good face this whole time. It was going to be a new challenge but part of him was giddy to be able to play it up and touch her during this time.

Y/N’s nerves weren’t really that noticeable, but to anyone else it would just seem like she was nervous because she was on a date with Harry. It was a normal reason to be nervous and frankly, she felt it made her seem more relatable. Despite the fact that Harry and Y/N were acting, they seemed to flow quite naturally and easily off of one another. It didn’t take a lot of effort, she just leaned into him whenever he touched her and vice versa.

“Ooo this is nice.” Y/N commented on the look of the place. She had obviously never been here before, but it looked like it would be good. The smell coming from the kitchen was incredible as well. “Thank you again for inviting us out..” Y/N said to Jeff, purposefully saying us instead of me so anyone who heard knew they meant Y/N and Harry as a pair. She scooted her chair a little closer to Harry, making sure there was enough space for them to have subtle touches if need be. Y/N wasn’t sure what Harry would want, but she wanted to have their options open and ready. She had never seen him actually interact with a woman like this except for when he was with Kendall and those photos leaked. She wondered how he would act when he meant for people to see.

Harry felt the pressure but also knew he was lucky Jeff was here to keep the conversation going. He was feeling a little awkward but fell into his conversation relatively easily. 

“So the bakery... Harry said it’s lovely. That the lemon squares are amazing.” Glenne broke the ice, opening up her menu. It was a midrange pricing so he was hoping that she wouldn’t freak too bad. Money really wasn’t an object to Harry. Granted, most of his clothes were gifted to him and he didn’t pay for much luxury items because they were sent for promotion, but he didn’t mind spending if it was for a good time. He had millions. 

“They are very good. I like them a lot. All of the things are great, though.” Harry complimented sincerely but she wouldn’t know that. His arm hung over the back of her chair, subtly showing ownership. that’s what it would come across as anyways. Most people wouldn’t know this about Harry but he was possessive, jealous, and pathetic when it came to his lovers. He didn’t like sharing. He loved being alone with them and being in their own worlds. He hadn’t had a perfect fantasy of that yet but he figured he may as well get out his affectionate wants when it was supposed to be shown. Pass it off as acting.

Y/N smiled brightly when her bakery was mentioned, her pride and joy. She was just about to speak when he complimented her baking even more. That was cute. Too bad it was all acting. She needed to get out of that mind frame though and really sink into the character. She’d deal with her emotions at a later time. 

“That’s sweet, thank you.” Y/N smiled over at him, setting her hand on his thigh and rubbing her thumb against the fabric of his pants. “But yeah, my sister opened it up 5 years ago and I co-own. We have a solid flow of customers. It’s really fun, we’ve been saving to get it refurbished.” Y/N explained, also looking down at the menu. She quickly decided on the grilled miso salmon and carried on speaking. “I want to buy the upstairs bit as well. Want to open it up to local musicians to have gigs there and stuff. Also possibly wanted to do a kids baking class. Lots of ideas.” Y/N smiled, pushing a piece of her hair behind her ear. She was really ambitious and career driven, always wanting to improve. It was something she took pride in and hopefully Harry would come to admire about her.

Harry was impressed. She had ideas and they didn’t seem to involve being famous, so to speak. She seemed to want her bakery to do well but anyone who had a business desires it to thrive.

“That’s a lovely idea, pet.” His hand took purchase on her shoulder then. It was bare, jacket off so he ran his thumb over the softness of her skin there. Absolutely delicious. Y/N had to know that she was fucking gorgeous. That she had inspired many a man’s fantasies. He could see down her shirt slightly and had to adjust slightly, knowing he would get a stiffy if he continued. Harry was watching for any telltale signs she was lying but from what he could tell, she really did want to do that to her bakery. And that was pretty admirable. 

It took a second for Y/N to relax into Harry’s touch, not having expected it. The feeling of his rough calloused fingers caused butterflies to erupt in her tummy. She could only imagine how good they would feel on her clit— fuck she had to stop. 

“Lots of musicians in the town would thrive off of it. A little bit of exposure and a place to play goes miles for people who aren’t very hopeful.” Jeff confirmed. “You’ll have to ask Harry for opinions when you do that. He’s good at that stuff— the stage design.”

Y/N hummed in response, “I’m sure Harry could come up with some brilliant ideas, always does.” She complimented, sending him a small wink just to keep the ball rolling. It was nice to be able to flirt and know that it was meant to be reciprocated. Maybe this whole acting thing wouldn’t be too bad? She could just live out her fantasies like this. 

The waiter came and brought over a bottle of wine for the table and took all of their orders. Though the restaurant was mid range, she still had a feeling that this was a place posh people went. She’d have to get used to that as well. Y/N felt too normal for places like this, but then again, Jeff was really good at making her feel comfortable.

To Harry, the dinner was weird. Not in a bad way. But he had found that their chairs had gotten closer during the meal. They’d touched each other a bit— not sexually. Or trying to be sexual, he should say. He had been living out part of a mental fantasy, letting her hold his hand and play with his rings when they waited for the food to come. Y/N hadn’t gone for the most expensive thing— rather a cheaper item and he had tried coaxing her into getting something a bit more, but she said no. It was weird that she was acting like money didn’t motivate her. Isn’t that why she took the damn job? But they’d been touching subtly and talking, Harry smiling down at her pretty little face. He had an urge to kiss her too— which had scared the fuck out of him. He wanted to swoop in and taste her gloss before it went away but he couldn’t. When they finished though, Harry looked at her and began to talk. 

“Listen— May get intense, yeah? Lots of cameras flashing. Just hold on to my hand and don’t let go.” He was serious. There were a lot of cameras and a lot of flashes and he didn’t want her to freak.

This part did make Y/N nervous. The cameras. She had seen pap videos previously and they always made her uncomfortable to watch. It was scary having people say things to you whilst bright cameras were flashing. 

“Okay, I trust you.” Y/N told him in a soft voice, giving him a small smile that really was only meant for him. Part of her didn’t want this night to be over, she wanted to hang out with him some more and chat with him. It was her day off tomorrow so she didn’t mind staying up late and going home if that’s what he wanted. She doubted he would want her to stay the night.

Harry held her hand and as soon as they stepped out, the cameras flashed like crazy. Asking Harry to look at them, to say who his girl was. Who she was. How old she was, what’s her name. Were they dating? But Harry got irritated when he felt her move behind him, seeing someone had pushed her slightly and she had stumbled. He stopped in the middle, gently grabbing her hip and pulling her to walk with him. 

“Be careful, mate.” Harry said to the pap, brows furrowed. “Alright, love?” Y/N looked flustered, but nodded. So he continued on, lifting her by her waist and putting her in the car before climbing in behind her. Genuine concern took over when he saw her breathing heavier, face knitted in concern as he gently pulled her over and let her hide her face in his neck. His glare was actually visible to the outside where people took photos through the windows before Jeff sped off. “Hey.. Y/N? You okay?” Harry spoke, pulling her back.

The experience was something Y/N couldn’t explain. As a person who had mild anxiety, she thought that she could handle a situation like that but it was intense in a way that she truly didn’t know what to explain to anyone. You really just had to experience it to know. When she was pushed it really sent her into a small panic, trying her best to hide her face a little now that she’d felt what paps could really be like. Harry came through though and genuinely helped her. She was so thankful for him and for him sticking up for her as well. It meant a lot. It went by so quickly she could barely process it, a bit shaky and out of breath. Going off instinct she nuzzled her face into Harry’s neck, taking deep breaths to calm herself down and relax. It was over, she had jumped the first hurdle and things would get easier from there. At least that’s what she told herself. 

“Y—yeah, I’m okay... that was just.. a lot.” Y/N told him in a soft voice, still close to him but she wasn’t sure if that was okay. Y/N decided that it would be more hurtful if he moved her off than if she moved herself, but she really couldn’t do that right now. “I’ll be okay, just need a second..”

“It’s okay.” Harry rubbed her back a few times. He wasn’t a complete asshole. She was obviously shaken and he couldn’t even blame her. He wasn’t sure why so many had popped up— he was positive they’d only called for 3 but, that’s a later question. “You’re alright? Yeah? Shit’s scary sometimes but you made it through.” He didn’t know why he slightly melted but seeing her in genuine fear and feeling her shake slightly against his body made his urge to protect her come right to the front. “Jeff, drive around for a bit, yeah? Pop into Waitrose and get her a drink.” He could tell that she was going to be okay but needed a little coddling. He continued to rub her back and let her hide in his neck. Her breath was hot against his neck, and he felt her start to calm down.When Jeff came back, Harry gave her the drink and gently peeled her away, letting her stay seated close to him. “Slow sips. Just relax. You did great.”

Y/N kept herself nuzzled into the crook of his neck while she waited, finding that to be the safest place on earth. She relaxed just by taking in his scent and feeling his heart beat through the pressure point that beat against where her nose was. That combined with his hand on her back was doing the trick. This wasn’t acting and she knew it wasn’t. It gave her hope that he wasn’t in fact a shit person, he was concerned and cared enough to ask Jeff to drive around some more and get her a drink. She really did appreciate it and him. 

“Thank you.” Y/N said quietly, taking the bottle into her still slightly shaky hands and took a small sip before taking another slow one. Y/N did do great, she knew she did. She had seen enough pap videos to know how to elegantly carry herself, but there were way too many paps there. She’d never seen that many. Maybe people were just that excited to see Harry have a girlfriend.

Harry knew later on he wouldn’t regret being kind to her right now. She was genuinely terrified and he didn’t want that for anyone. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe she didn’t want fame, but that didn’t mean he could trust her. Maybe he could be nicer. But he had to keep a distance because his cock was not on board with that. It wanted to bury itself in her plump little ass. But whatever— he could use that visual later. 

“You’re alright, Y/N.” Harry watched her carefully. “Didn’t know that many were going to be out there but, don’t worry. We’ll make sure we do our very best so that doesn’t happen again.” She wouldn’t get away from paps— but having 20 flashing cameras blinding her and pushing? That wouldn’t ever happen again. He was willing to risk his career on that. No human decency. 

“Now, let's get you home.”

--------------------------------------

[part 3]

A/N: H is soft, he cracks under pressure 🤧- n + d

let us know what you think! 

masterlist

[imagine-zen]

Could I request a headcannon of the RFA+Saeran+V getting caught under the mistletoe with MC. Maybe they get a little flustered when MC kisses them or maybe they initiate it (it's up to you) ps I love your writing!

Right, I lovethis, but I have absolutely no idea how mistletoe lives in the wild, so, ifthere are any factual inaccuracies what am I say, there’s 100% some pls letthem slide and don’t yell at me, I’m sensitive and just wanna write cuteromance

Also some ofthese might not be 100% REAL mistletoe but like, mistletoe shaped, hope that’sokay :)

Jumin

The two ofyou are throwing a holiday party at Jumin’s condo

It’s a smallparty, just RFA members and close friends

You’re havinga fun time, but still, you’re running around keeping track of food and how theguests are

You take amoment in the kitchen, eating some food, sipping some wine

You’re notstressed, but it’s nice to step back and just breathe, watch your guests enjoythemselves

You feelJumin approach you from behind, his warmth a comfort

Leaning back againsthim, you feel one of his arms stretch up and around you

You glance upand see a small, dark green sprig, adorned with soft white berries

“Mistletoe?”You ask, tilting your head back to smile at him

“Tis theseason” He hummed, a soft smile spread across his face

His handtugged on your hip gently and you turned around to face him, leaning up to kisshim

Your lipshave barely met before you hear Zen fake gagging

You chuckleas Jumin pulls you closer, starting to argue with the actor

Zen

You’rejogging with him one winter morning

The sun’sstill rising, its rays glinting off of the thin coatings of ice along branches

There’s alight layer of snow across the ground, though the path the two of you arerunning on is clear already from even earlier morning joggers

Zen suggestsa pause at an upcoming sitting spot along the trail

It’suntouched in the brisk air, snow lining blades of grass, a bench topped withsnow

You pull yourwater bottle out of backpack, enjoying the quiet beauty of the woods thatmorning, your cheeks stinging and your nose warm

“It’s gorgeousout this morning,” You comment, turning to look at Zen

“Everymorning with you is gorgeous,” He says while stepping closer to you

He smiles,tucking a strand of hair that had come loose from your ponytail behind yourear. “Wanna know why I suggested we pause here?”

Your cheeksare red for more than your run or the chilled air. “Why?”

He leans hisface in, pausing centimeters from your face as his eyes dart up above you

Turning yourhead slightly, you see a bushel of thin, green leaves poking out from beneath asnow coat

You have timeto identify the plant before Zen tilts your chin up and your mind is occupiedby the feeling of his lips against yours

Yoosung

“So, what doyou think?” You ask, glancing at him

He squints,thinking. “I think,” He nods his head subtly, raising his hand to point. “Yeah,let’s go with this one.”

You grin,picking up the fuchsia plant from the garden store’s shelf

“What’s next?”He asks, leaning against your shoulder to get a glimpse of the “to-get” listyou wrote up together last night

“Let’s see,we’ve gotten a good amount of flowering plants, wanna check out some herbs orfruits?”

“Soundsperfect.”

While walkingpast the row of herbs lined up, thinking about which ones you and Yoosung usemost in cooking, you pause, recognizing the bundles of freshly cut branches beingdisplayed above the potted herbs

You grin,grabbing a cutting of mistletoe and going over to Yoosung on the other side ofthe cart

You tap hisshoulder, pressing a kiss to his lips as he turns

His face goesflush and he goes to adjust his glasses. “Wh-what was that for?”

You wave themistletoe as an answer. “Found some mistletoe, I had to.”

He breaks outinto a grin. “Don’t you have to be underneath the mistletoe to- you know?”

“Ah,” youglance at the plant then back to Yoosung, raising your arm to hold themistletoe over your heads. “You’re right, I guess we’ll have to try again,” Humming,you lean close to him once more

Jaehee

You’rehumming along to the radio, the kitchen lit with a warm glow from the lightsabove and out in the main room of the café

Jaehee comesback in, tying an apron around her waste

You laugh, “I’mjust about to finish up, you don’t need an apron.”

“It’s bettersafe than sorry,” She responds, flashing you a smile as she steps closer

She inhales throughher nose, the air full of sweetness

“They smelldelicious, right?” You say

“Hopefullythey’ll taste just as good,” She responds, flicking on the oven light andbending down to look at the cookies

“Your recipesare always amazing, don’t worry so much.”

The two ofyou continue chatting, you crack open the oven every minute or so to check onthe cookies before deciding they’re done and pulling them out to cool

“Oh!” Jaeheeexclaims, “You shaped them!”

“Yeah, I thoughtit’d be good; you know, ginger cookies during the winter, might as well have atheme, right?”

Jaehee nods,smiling as she looks at the mistletoe shaped cookies. “It’s a perfect idea”

“I have aneven better one,” You announce, picking up one by the edges and blowing on itbefore holding it out to Jaehee.

She leansforward, her face flushed ever so slightly, and takes a careful bite

She nods,chewing, and you can see her thinking of ways to improve on her recipe already

You leanforward, kissing her cheek softly

Her eyeswiden as she looks at you, and you decide she’s never looked more beautiful,with gentle golden light falling on her face and hair, a few crumbs on the cornerof her mouth, her eyes full of you

“Goodcookies?” You ask, leaning back a bit

She nods,trying – unsuccessfully – to hide the smile spreading across her face

Seven

The doorbellchimes and you lean back to glance at the door monitor

Mail man.

You grin,jumping out of your chair and navigating past the security to the entrance, signingfor the package and running back inside

You open thesmall package as soon as you shut the door, glancing around to make sure Seven hasn’tmoved

Holding thegift behind your back, you make your way into Seven’s computer room

His back istowards you, computer alert noises coming from one screen, game notificationsfrom another, some kind of radio can be heard faintly from the earbud danglingfrom its partner in Seven’s ear

“What came inthe mail?” He asks, the clack of his keyboard barely audible through the restof the sounds

“Oh, there’ssomething for,” You answer, walking up behind him

You lean overhis back, keeping the object behind your back for now

He tilts hishead back, smiling up at you. “Oh? What is it?”

You grin, movingthe small plushie you bought up and over your head

The plushiewas a mistletoe sprig, but the berries were little cat heads

“A kiss,” Youhum, moving to kiss him

Upside downkisses are always awkward, but worth it

Saeran

You’re on awalk together during a fall afternoon

For someonewith so much information, he knew little about plants

You, on theother hand, had been a plant lover since you were small

So, the twoof you like to take walks, Saeran will point out different plants and you tellhim about them

It’s a funtest for you, getting to practice what you know, and he likes listening to you

At this point,there’s not many plants that you haven’t talked about – well, not that many alongthis path

The walks arestill good though, you talk and get to be alone together

The two ofyou are passing some woods, his hand keeping yours warm

The coldearthy smell of fall surrounding you

You’relooking up at the sky and the trees next to the path when your eyes light upand you tug on Saeran’s hand

“Oh! See thatbundle of leaves along the branch there?” You ask, pointing towards the plant

Saeran nods,looking at you in confusion

“Well, it’scalled mistletoe, have you heard of it?”

He nods again.“It can help with arthritis, right?”

You blink,having forgotten that. “Yeah, yeah that’s true! I forgot that, good job.”

He smiles,glancing down. “Well, if you weren’t thinking that, what were you going to say?”

“Right~ Yousee, there’s a tradition around mistletoe,” you start, tugging him closer to beingunder the mistletoe. “It’s supposed to represent love, so, when underneath anymistletoe, two people are supposed to kiss.”

As soon as youfinish your sentence, his eyes go wide and he glances up, then back to you. Hiseyebrows lower. “Really?”

You nod,miming an “x” on your chest. “Cross my heart.”

He seems tobe having trouble deciding if he was nervous or suspicious. “I mean – you saythat, and have just walked us underneath this plant…”

“Uh huh,” Yousay, stepping closer and leaning towards him slowly

His face wasstarting to match his ginger hair

“Are – isthis, do you want –?” He stammers, eyes now darting up and down

“If you wantto,” You hum, lowering your gaze to his lips

He gulps,staring at you before yanking you close and presses his lips to your, eyessquinted shut

You’re startledby his sudden movement but smile into the kiss, sliding your arms around himand holding him close

You’ve neverseen him this red before, and you can’t but chuckle, kissing his check

The two ofyou continue your walk, both smiling, your hands holding each other tightly

V

You frown, pickingthrough the bin full of props

“I don’t know,”You call out to V, who’s standing a few meters away at the photo stage fussingwith the set. “If you want a dappled shadow like that, I still think getting anactual branch and leaves would work best.”

He smiles atyou over his shoulder. “I’m sure you’re right, but I’d like distinct shadowsthat the faux plants make.”

Nodding, youplunge deeper, exclaiming as you find something that might work. “How aboutthis?” You ask, heading back over and waving the prop over your head

“Perfect!” Hesaid, taking the fake plant from you as you get to him

He hums, examiningthe mistletoe before eyeing with a soft smile. “This is good for more thanphotos, you know?”

“Oh? How so?”You ask, leaning against him as he wraps a hand around your waist

“Like this,”

You giggle asV pulls away from the kiss, his face suddenly nervous and shy

You placeyour hands on the sides of his face, pushing his glasses up to the top of hishead. “You’re right, that has many uses.” You hummed before pulling him back

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 33

Catch up on AO3

~*~EMMA~*~

Sebastian gave me a quick recap on his day that ended with, “Now, I’m mostly trying to figure out a way to climb through the internet so I can kiss you. We've still got some catching up to do.”

"I can't decide if that’s adorable or one of the sexiest things I’ve ever heard." I licked my lips and bit my lower lip.

Sebastian squinted his eyes, "I’m curious what would rate sexier?"

"The way you told me if I said stop we'd stop."

"That's just common courtesy." He shrugged off my reply.

I shook my head, "It's really not and it wasn't the words as much as the intensity with which you said them."

"I like intensity."

Good thing he wasn't arguing that point. "I like your intensity. The look in your eyes and the tone of your voice."

His eyes dilated and his voice deepened, "Any guess what I want to crawl through the phone to do now?"

The look on his face made his thoughts clear. "I like how you want me. I want you too."

Sebastian scrubbed his hands in his hair, leaving it sticking up in all directions. "It's only Wednesday."

"Yes, it is. What time will you get here?"

"Four thirty."

"Perfect." I could run home after work, freshen up, and change. We stared at each other. I’m pretty sure we were thinking the same things. Dirty things. Our smiles morphed into laughter. I changed the subject. "Tell me about your home."

"My home?"

I raised my eyebrows and nodded. "You've been here. I know nothing about where you live."

"Want a tour?"

"Yes, please."

He stood up, "I'm going to try to switch to the other camera. If I hang up, I'll call you back." His finger got close to the screen, then I was looking out into the room. "Excellent, it worked. This is an extra room off the main living space. As you can see, I use I as an office. Sleeper sofa for guests."

The long wall was bookcases full of books and pictures. One short wall was a desk with an iMac. A sofa was in under the window across from the desk and an oversized doorway opened into a larger room. His furniture was eclectic and comfortable. I had a suspicion he'd added pieces as he had more space, keeping the first due to comfort or maybe sentimentality. The room didn't look mismatched, it was similar in style, and looked like someone lived here. A TV hung over an entertainment center with various equipment. A drawered cabinet that looked like an old library card file stood to the side.

"I love the cabinet. Are they really drawers or a facade?"

"Drawers. I can’t let go of DVDs and CDs. I might need your dad to bring me up to date."

I laughed, "I'd be very surprised if you have anything he hasn't already digitized."

Sebastian continued the tour. "Dining room and kitchen."

The space was open with the dining table separating the living area from the kitchen. The dining table sat six. I could imagine a gathering of friends sharing stories and a meal there. Black cabinets with grey marble countertops lined the wall with a penny tile back splash in variations of white, gray, and black. There was a big island for serving or prep. "Does the island turn into a bar at parties?"

I couldn’t see Sebastian, but I heard his snicker, “It makes an excellent bar. All the booze in here. Even a small wine cooler." He opened the cabinets underneath before flipping the camera around where I saw him. "What are you favorites? Make sure I’m stocked up."

"Tequila is my favorite. I love this Partida Blanco and a Volcan Blanco. I like a good whiskey. Vodka gives me a headaches, unless it’s super distilled. No Jägermeister."

"I have lots of tequila. I like tequila. Jäger is shit, but I have friends who love. I think there's some Absinthe under there too."

"Absinthe makes for an odd night."

He turned and walked down the hall into what had to be his bedroom and turned on the light. As he'd told me the room had a dark blue grey wall amongst the grey. His king-sized bed had a dark blue patterned comforter and almost as many pillows as me. The room’s odd angles gave it lots of space but some trouble with where to put things. He had a rather sad excuse for a fake tree in the tiny corner, wrapped in something.

"Nice plant."

"Ah, wait for it." The camera pointed at the dark brown hard wood floor and I could hear rustling. "See!" He pointed the camera back at the tree. It was now lit up and I could see the "wrapping" was white fairy lights.

I laughed, "Beautiful!"

"No, it's not." He turned the camera back to his face. His smile took my breath away. "It's a weird acute angle. Will bought the tree as a housewarming present and Chace did the lights. Makes me smile."

"That's awesome." I love silly things attached to happy memories. "Thank you for showing me your place."

Sebastian was walking back toward the living room, "You're welcome. You should come see it in person. I'm coming there this weekend, you come down here the next."

"Sounds good." I'm pretty sure my eyes widened for a split second. We hadn't spent a second weekend together and he was planning the third. I was good with it, but it did surprise me. I’m not sure why. Not a bad surprised. The good kind. This was really just one more in a long list of surprises with this man.

"Good. We'll figure out details this weekend." Maybe I didn't do anything noticeable. "You looked surprised."

I bit my lip, letting it slip away as I smiled "Everything about you is surprising. In the best way possible." He raised an eyebrow, which let me know the answer was considered incomplete. "We're making plans farther in the future than we've known each other. It's good."

"Yeah, it is." He laid back on the couch. "Can we talk about what you biting your lip does to me?"

"Want me to stop?"

"Oh no, not what I want at all. What I want is to bite your lip."

"I want to bite your shoulder."

I watched him shift around, knowing what he was doing. He closed his eyes and grimaced. "Supposed to be hot on Saturday."

I smiled, but left it alone, "It is. You should feel free to take off your shirt. Or sit in the shade."

"I will if you will." His eyes shifted away then back. "Speaking of... isn't it about time for practice?"

"Yes. We're using the gym at my school tonight. Might be late."

"No sand." He got a strange look before going on, "Will you text me when you get home? So I know you're safe."

"Sure." He continues to be the sweetest man ever. His request didn’t feel like he was checking up on me, it came from concern and felt good. I didn't suffer a lack of people caring about me, but this was different.

Practice did last late. I stripped off my clothes as I walked upstairs and fell naked on my bed.

Emma ~ I'm home

Sebastian ~ Long practice.

Emma ~ Good though. Tired

Sebastian ~ I'm glad you're home.

Emma ~  Were you worried about me?

Sebastian ~ Not yet. Maybe a little.

Emma ~ You're very sweet.

Sebastian ~ Go to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Emma ~ Night night

I woke up the next morning wrapped up in my comforter, having fallen asleep where I was when I was texting Sebastian last night. I must have been more tired than I thought. I rolled onto my back with a smile. My alarm had pulled me out of a more than pleasant dream. Sebastian and I were laying by a pool, stretched out on a lounge chair with me between his legs, leaning back on him. His hands were holding mine and resting on my stomach. We were laughing and talking. I don't know what about, but the dream felt good.

I lay on my bed with a stupid grin on my face until the last possible moment. I was almost late for work and forgot my lunch. Fingers crossed that the lunch room was serving something edible. About nine I got called to the office for a pick up. I opened the door and was greeted with our attendance clerk and secretary singing, "It's raining men. Hallelujah it's raining men." They pointed to a beautiful vase full of flowers. Light pink roses, white roses, lilies, lisianthius and sweet peas. It was simple and beautiful. I could see the card tucked amongst the blooms, which I didn't need to open to know who sent them. No way in hell was I opening it in the main office.

Karen shook her head, "We want to know who this man is. Those are some gorgeous flowers.”

I smiled as I picked the vase up, "Somebody new with good taste."

"Keep him."

I laughed as I walked away, "I’ll do my best.

I walked back into the room and put the flowers on the corner of my desk. I was able to pluck the card out before a herd of children converged on me chattering about how pretty the flowers were, asking who they were from, and if they could smell them. I said they were from a new friend and backed away to let them sniff. I grabbed my phone and took a picture of the commotion. Sending would have to wait and I knew he would understand.

After dropping the kids off, I brought my lackluster lunch back to the room. The unread card had been burning a hole in my pocket all morning. I stuffed a chicken nugget in my mouth and tore through the envelope.

"I'd be happy to sit and be quiet with you. Sebastian"

I stopped chewing. Holy shit. What an insanely lucky woman am I. Fuck me.

Emma ~ I'd love to be quiet with you.

I opened my photo gallery and found the picture of us at the festival and ran my fingers over his face. His gorgeous face with the expressive blue eyes.

The text notification startled me.

Sebastian ~ We'll make it happen.

Emma ~ The flowers are beautiful. Thank you.

Sebastian ~ You're welcome

Emma ~ <attached picture> I'm not the only one who liked them.

Sebastian ~ Ooops, sorry.

Emma ~ Don't apologize. Best part of my day.

Sebastian ~ Where are your kids?

Emma ~ Lunch

Sebastian ~ Can you talk?

Emma ~ Yes

Incredibly cute that he asked. My phone rang and I decided he needed his own ringtone. "What's up, Sebastian?"

"Nothing." He laughed. "You've got staff meeting and practice. I've got a dinner thing now. I wanted to say hi. So hi."

I laughed and leaned in to smell my flowers. "Hi." It took all my self-control to not sigh.

"Tomorrow. How about we go get some dinner then find someplace to be quiet?"

"Sounds good. What's your dinner thing tonight?"

"Part meeting, part fun. I told you about the photo shoot. It's with the company to talk about the ad campaign"

I cringed, "Doesn't sound a lot of fun."

He made a noncommittal noise, "A couple of drinks will make dinner to bearable. After is a cocktail party could be fun. Could be tragic."

"Couple of drinks will make that tolerable too."

The sound of his laughter was going to make the rest of my day better than tolerable.

"Might not be bad. I'll get myself up. Room full of strangers can go two ways. Fun and easy or dog and pony show where I'm the main attraction."

"And you don't like that." I was reminded of what Eli had said about him blending into the background at parties.

"Not my favorite thing. But tomorrow I get to see you, which is one of my favorite things. I’ll focus on the goal. Tomorrow. About 4:30."

"I have something same time."

"Lucky me."

Students streamed into the room with their usual high level of post lunch energy. Not surprisingly, Sebastian could hear them. "Lunch is over. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow."

"Me either."

The rest of my day was a blur. Staff meeting turned into a bitch fest. Our principal wanted to change the layout of the rooms. Pretty much everyone would be moving. I saw this as an opportunity to do some redecorating. I ran home before practice to grab something to eat and do a quick clean. I’m pretty good cleaning as I go, so I ran around spraying and wiping things. Practice was at the bar complex. I wasn't looking forward to the sand. We had fun and we were doing well. Before we left the brackets were up and we were the number three seed. First match at twelve, with report time at eleven. Perfect. I didn't have to go to bed too early tomorrow night.

[youarejesting]

[Masterlist] Please tag me in your work if you use my prompts. I want to see your work. Ever your Jester.

Tell me your birthday and I will tag you on your special day!

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            April 2nd - 8th

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Kim Seokjin: Party

As the son of a noble family and an eligible bachelor Kim Seokjin was betrothed at a young age. Jin remembers crying almost every night because his future wife looked like a pig. He hated every new year celebration where he had to see her and take a photo. She had started making fun of his gorgeous face when they were teens. 

“Father I don’t want to marry her she is a pig” He stomped his foot upset “Can’t I choose someone I actually love, just keep your mouth shut and take the photo with her”

“Mother he looks like an alpaca and he is mean, he has been oinking behind my back” You begged. Your mother didn’t say a word and pushed you in front of the cameraman. 

“Now stay still for at least thirty seconds” the man called ducking under the curtain. 

“Why do they make me do this with you?” Slapping him across the face the flash went off and you both froze confused before you ran off.

You hadn’t gone back to a new years party since that is until you turned twenty, your parents and his were outraged that their children were not already married. You sat in the chair as your mother wrapped you in a dark rose coloured skirt and helped you into a navy blue jegori that was tied around your chest with a ribbon. Your hair was twisted into a braid and makeup looking very alluring.

Over the years you had grown into your body, you weren’t very thin but your proportions were much more mature. Walking slowly across the hall you, politely greeting other families and your mother smiled. “Wow Kim Seokjin looks Handsome today, I am so glad we decided to have your outfits match you will look so good together, come let’s get a photo”

You didn’t fight it, just wanting it to be over before it had even begun, you stood in front of the cameraman your arms crossed.

“You haven’t gotten any taller since I last met you” Seokjin smirked as he was now towering over you. “Not even a hello, are your manners still as poor as the last time we met, should I protect my face”

“Listen, I don’t like this as much as you do, so just shut up and smile” you hissed looking up at him, cursing your heart for racing at the sight of him. His eyes seemed to soften and explore your face, you were both frozen long enough for the flash of the camera, your cheeks grew hot as you turned away.

Min Yoongi: Lie

“The Tooth fairy isn’t real mummy,” your daughter said to you with a smile

“What do you mean?” You were horrified your daughter’s childhood wonder and innocence had been corrupted. “Of course the tooth fairy is real who told you that?”

“Daddy said, the tooth fairy, Santa and the Easter bunny are just Mummy and Daddy giving me secret gifts” She smiled “So thank you for the train set mummy I loved it, and the archery set, and the book of robin hood”

You sent her off to play with her toys in the room, making a direct route to Yoongi’s office where he was writing an important email. You were furious. “You told our daughter that the easter bunny, Santa and the tooth fairy weren’t real. What is wrong with you she is 4 years old, and you just” You were crying “she was my little girl”

“She is still your little girl, but she asked me why Santa only brought her one present last year and why the tooth fairy takes a week to arrive. Look I told her in a way that was gentle and she wasn’t upset, she said that she is thankful that we buy her the presents and that Santa shouldn’t get the credit for our hard work trying to make money for gifts. She said that it was weird thinking some man would come into our house at night to leave presents.”

Jung Hoseok: Maps

“Map of the souls” you read the icon confused having no memory of downloading the app. Opening it curiously. Music began playing it looked pretty fancy, you watched as it showed you a map of the world. 

-Click To Begin-

You clicked and it zoomed in exactly where your finger had pressed, “what is happening?” You tapped the screen some more wanting the introduction video to whatever game this was to be over. 

You saw a few dots on the screen moving around in a town, “you hummed and clicked on a barely-there dot and it smiled showing you a profile, you were so confused what was this game. And who was Jung Hoseok?

Jung Hoseok is upset. Try to cheer him up. 

-Send Gift-

-Send Message-

-Call-

You decided to send a gift, hoping this wouldn’t cost you money but what came up were real-life places. “This is Hoseok's favourite restaurant would you like to order his favourites and have them delivered, what the hell is this game?”

You ordered the food and sent it to his location. And added a message. “Hey try to cheer up, friend” you closed the app confused when a short time later you got a notification of a video. It was real footage of Hoseok receiving your gift. He got so excited. Cute. 

Kim Namjoon: First Contact

Namjoon paced back and forth, what was it going to be like, this would change his world forever. He was scared this alien thing was going to take over everything he could hardly breathe. All he saw was white coats passing the halls and the god awful noises inside. 

“We are ready for you now?” A white coat peeked their head through the door their voice muffled by the mask they were wearing. He nodded, following their orders. Being lead deeper into the foreign space. 

He heard the cries and saw you looking absolutely exhausted from the torture this alien brought. He walked over giving you a kiss before looking down into your arms to see the being responsible. 

His heart melted, it was his baby. He finally accepted everything, when the tiny fist caught his finger he swore he would protect his son with his life. 

Park Jimin: Grow

You were travelling through a black market website, there was something slightly illegal you wanted to buy but the seller was currently out of stock, you hummed ignoring the human trafficking and organs for transplant you scrolled past a picture of seeds, you looked. “Grow your own boyfriend”

You laughed and bought the product for fun. Not expecting anything to come in the mail you were surprised when there was a small package. Opening the package you found a packet of seeds, you read these instructions and planted watered it over time a flower started to grow, it was an odd plant so you weren’t too worried. 

The plant was growing a large pumpkin. You watched it everyday growing bigger and bigger until you had reached the supposed harvest day you heard a noise from inside singing.

“Hello?” You asked

“Hello” a voice called back “what’s your name?”

“Uh y/n”

“My names Jimin” 

“Would you like to come out now?” You asked cracking open a little, inside of the pumpkin he was sitting cross-legged and naked looking at the light you had made. 

Kim Taehyung: Sheets

Taehyung didn’t want to get out of bed, so in a moment of brilliance he was struck with an idea, he ripped the sheets from the bed. Running through the house to the living room, he began hanging the sheet and frowned. 

This wouldn’t work, he grabbed more sheets from the linen cupboard and started hanging them here and there. Even grabbing the beach umbrella from the garage door a roof. He kept working until he made a fort, he took some old Christmas lights and hung them inside. He went in and sat inside but it was kind of boring. 

Back to the cupboard he grabbed more sheets and extended his house around the television. He sat inside watching television but he grew quite warm. He wheeled the portable air cooler from the spare room and wheeled it into the space the tube of hot air he placed it out a nearby window. 

The door opened and he giggled silently in his extravagant hut. “Taehyung honey are these out good sheets” 

“Uh no,” you climbed inside and he gave a sheepish smile “I love you”

Jeon Jungkook: Sorry 

“I am sorry, I am so sorry. This is all my fault forgive me” He was clutching you to his chest crying harder than you were.

“One more push Mrs Jeon” You tried to muster up as much strength as you could breathing deeply and pushing like your life depended on it because at this moment it sure did feel like it did. 

“Congratulations, it’s a baby boy” Jungkook kissed you brushing your damp hair off your face, the baby was crying as he cut the cord and it only made him cry harder at the sound.

“Where are they taking him?” Jungkook was trying to follow the bundle. He watched as they did a heel prick the baby was crying tears pouring down Jungkook’s face, it took a few scared nurses to hold him back.

“Kookie I don’t feel so good, can you get the nurse?” he grabbed your hand and called the nurse over and she checked

“Uh Mr and Mrs Jeon Congratulations, you have twins, you have to push again for me, okay?”

“Kookie, it hurts, please I can’t do this again”

“I am sorry, I am right here. I love you. Your my wife, you aren’t weak. Your a badass bitch come on baby, kick births ass” Though he said the words so unconvincingly through tears had given you the strength to keep going. 

“Congratulations it’s a girl!

These are prompts feel free to use them just tag me as I want to read what people create.

[travelwankerworld]

Another trip booked with ‘Untravelled Paths’ & another success.

This time a 4 night trip to the Puglia region of Italy – The Dolce Vita Puglia Experience

We flew from Luton to Bari with Wizz Air.

It was very cheap, about £70 each return.

It would have been even cheaper had Wizz not done their ‘Roulette Wanker Seat’ routine! Where unless you pay to pick your seats; unlike any other airline who will allocate you seats together – Wizz makes a point of making sure you are as far away from your travelling partner as possible!

So underhand. So out of order.

It is a 4-hour+ flight so is nice to be sat together.

The upshot, about a 1/3rd of the flight’s cost, was paying to sit together!

The saving grace is that overall, it is still cheap for the distance (& the convenience for us from Luton).

We did the lounge at Luton. The basic reason being that I had a credit left on my ‘Priority Pass’ membership which I wanted to use up before it expired.

  1st Stop – Matera

The flight was good & when we arrived we were met by our guide Marius. We were the only 2 on our flight & found out there were just 2 more coming & they were on the later Stanstead flight that night.

Off we went to our 1st stop – Matera – It is a city carved into the mountainside. The original dwellings here were effectively caves.

It was quite an impressive place & we saw it first at night all lit up.

Our accommodation was – Residence San Giovanni Vecchio

We had a wander about & up to the main square, then back down to get some food in a little pizza place –

Trattoria Braceria Bellavista di Fedele Manicone

It was a nice little place, the food wasn’t amazing but it was fresh & the wine was cheap! – it was also served in a carafe with wicker around it & with small glasses.

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Standard ‘funny faces’ picture was required. Lisa is getting much better at them!

  Lost In Translation

Whilst wandering around we found a bakery (Gran Caffe) that Lisa had seen whilst researching – it was stuffed with loads of dirty cakes!

We ended up asking a bloke behind the counter what was the best – he pointed out what sort of looked like doughnuts but with a bit of custard creeping out of them.

We ordered 2.

Wow! They were gorgeous.

So we then tried to find out what they were called.

One thing I need to say here, which was one of the reasons Italy grew on us, was the fact that most people don’t speak English, just Italian.

I love this. (we Brits are generally shit at languages so for once we didn’t have to feel guilty for this).

This then lends itself to a lot of gesturing & the use of Google Translate!

It is also how we arrived at what we called these – Titty Titty Lemon Cakes!

We ‘spoke’ to a woman & she tried to explain in Italian whilst gesturing to her chest & laughing & saying Limon a lot.

Cue immature photos:

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Wehay! – Titty Titty Lemon Cakes

Loads of Lemon Titties!

Anyway, enough fun for day one & back to the apartment & bed.

The next day we went across the road for breakfast & finally met our other 2 ‘travellers’ – Kamal & Friddy.

Marius met us & gave us the ‘What to do’ rundown in Matera on a map.

We then went almost next door to a shop that had a model of the town so it could be explained further – it is very much a 3D type of place with lots of levels & alleys to explore.

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We did a lot of walking, the place was impressive & the weather glorious (it’s October!).

One of the places you are supposed to go is Casa Grotta which was a look at the ‘caves houses’ presented to you of how they were lived in.

Quite frankly, it was shite!

Throughout Matera, there are various sculptures of Salvadore Dali’s art. Can’t remember if there was a reason for this.

We also came across some a temporary art exhibition whilst we were there – some female sculptures sat in various places & some ‘turkeys’ which were individually designed & painted…..but, to be honest, they just looked like big cocks!

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Dali

Dali

Female Sculpture

Big Painted Cocks

  Cookery Class At A Retreat

We all met up late afternoon to go to our cookery class. About a 30-minute drive & we arrived at some grounds.

From what we understood it was like a retreat. It was in the middle of nowhere & looked very nice.

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We made pasta dough from Semolina flour & then went onto make a variety of different shaped/types of pasta.

We also made 2 other dishes, one was made from nearly stale sourdough bread (soaked in water) rubbed with garlic & layered with tomatoes. The other was very similar but mixed with egg and herbs to make balls that were to be fried.

It was quite a laugh doing it with a few breaks so we could get a bit of wine in.

Then we got to eat all of our own stuff. It was pretty good actually & very simple.

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We got back to Matera, went for a quick nightcap & then bed.

Next day, we had breakfast & checked out – we were off to Alberobello

  Bread & Focaccia To Die For

On the way though we were going to visit a traditional bakery that still uses a stone oven & only cooks sourdough bread. The place was called DiGesu’

Wow!, both Lisa & I could have died here. The bread looked & tasted amazing.

We got to try the various types of bread washed down with a small glass of red (well I did, it was 10.30 am but they wouldn’t have put it out if they hadn’t wanted us to have it).

The whole thing was very interesting.

A sort of byproduct from this style of baking is the focaccia bread.

They make the focaccia dough & put it in various spots in the oven to test the temperature.

Quite frankly it is one of the best-tasting things I have ever had! So much so that it was what we bought from the bakery to have later for our lunch.

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So we left there & were on our way to Alberobello.

  Early Proof Of Tax Dodging

This place is very famous for the type of houses they have – they are called Trulli’s.

They are round in construction & were originally built without mortar/cement.

It is said that part of this style of housing came about as a tax dodge.

Landowners at the time were taxed by how many building they had; so the landowners would get their workers to build these house for them to live in.

When/if they got news of someone coming to check their ‘wealth’ the landowner would instruct his workers to take apart the houses thus avoiding tax.

So we got to stay in one for the night. This was right in the heart of the area where these were best preserved (& funnily enough where the tourists came). They were lovely.

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So off we went for a wander.

  The Wine Tour – A Tale Of 2 Servers

Early afternoon we met up again to be taken to a local vineyard for a tour & wine tasting – Yay!!!

The winery was called I Pastini.

It was really nice here, a family-run place in lovely surroundings.

A young lady did the tour around the various buildings & part of the vineyard. It was actually quite interesting and didn’t go on too long which gets a massive tick!

They plant rose bushes at the end of each row of vines here. They do this as if there are pests/bugs etc, they will attack the roses first. This is like having a warning system for their grape crop & so if it happens, they can do something about it.

Simple but effective. I found stuff like this quite interesting.

Some wine tours we have been on are beyond dull.

And let us face it, nobody gives that much of a shit about how it all came about etc – we are there to taste & drink the wine!

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The wine tasting was good – we got a selection of nibbles to go with it.

As I recall we tried 4 or 5 wines.

What I do remember very well (which is where the problem lied) is that 2 people were doing the wine pouring for the tasting.

The side we were on was a woman who had clearly challenged herself to pour so little in the glass that it would have evaporated by the time you went to taste it!

It literally was the smallest amount of wine that could allow you to taste it.

On the other side of the room was the young lady who did the tour & she was making up for our loss with her pours, she wasn’t pissing about!

Kamal & Friddy were on her side & after about 3 they were not finishing theirs & pouring some away ready for the next one. I can’t even get my head around this, but we would have loved that problem!

The result – they ordered a case of wine to be shipped back to the UK & we bought a bottle to take away with us.

You would have thought that most people that own a vineyard & do these type of tours must have realised that if you get people a bit pissed they will get their wallets out.

We would have.

There is no question we would have also bought a case, they were pretty reasonable. Alas, we were sober & therefore could easily rationalise & avoid spontaneous purchases!

We left there, wallet intact, back to Alberobello.

We did a bit more wandering & picture taking; then went to a wine bar to try & rectify the wrong from earlier.

That evening we went to a nice little restaurant, the food was pretty good but I am not naming it. The service speed was a joke & getting the bill at the end was like pulling teeth. Such a shame really,

Next day was time to move again.

We had until lunchtime to wander around the bits we had missed & sneak in a cheeky beer before leaving.

The next destination was our final one in Bari.

On the way, we stopped for lunch at a little town called Locorotondo. We were told to have a little explore before settling down to eat which we did.

Was a very pretty little town with lots of rabbit warren type of streets.

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We wandered around for what seemed like ages looking for somewhere to eat. We googled various places but nothing seemed quite right & most were in these narrow streets which were in the shade.

  A Perfect 90 Minutes With Wine, Meat & Cheeses

We finally, just before we lost the will to live, decided to sit at an outside restaurant that we had passed about three times  – Controra

Quite frankly, this turned out to be one of the highlights from our trip. We sat there for about an hour & a half and was just perfect.

We had a great view, were sat under a shade (it was proper hot that day) & ordered a bottle of the white wine that was from the vineyard we went to the day before. We also ordered a plate of meats, cheeses & bread. It was all superb.

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It turned out, through broken English & lots of gesturing, that the woman who owned the restaurant/bar was the sister of the woman at the vineyard who was tight with the tastings (who turned out to be the owner’s mother!).

The toilets in this place were a bit quirky. My favourite part was the fact that above the sink there was no mirror on the wall, there was just writing saying ‘You Look Fine‘ which quite frankly is genius.

We left here to go to our next stop.

If we didn’t have to go, we would have happily ordered another bottle of wine, more food & sat here for hours.

Enroute to Bari was another stop, this time to visit an Olive farm – Masseria Brancati

We had the standard tour of the old buildings with old ‘machinery’ AKA massive stones that crushed shit, no big shakes in terms of new stuff.

What was interesting that we didn’t know, was the fact that olive oil used to be called ‘Liquid Gold’. It was the modern-day equivalent of oil i.e. it was used for all sorts of things and thus made it very valuable.

So much so, that they would hide & disguise where the olives were stored and processed to avoid being robbed.

The olive groves here were massive. All the trees were 5 meters apart from each other which was the distance required to make sure each tree got all the light & water it needed without imposing on each other.

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The slightly mind-blowing thing of it all is that all the trees were saw were at least 1,000 years old, quite a few were 2,000 years old & there was one that they had dated at 3,000 years old – so if Jesus did exist, this tree existed well before he did.

….and they are all still producing Olives!

Also, each individual tree is a National Heritage Site – they are all tagged & are monitored by satellite.

What the fuck!

  The Buzz Of Bari

We left there and headed to our final destination – Bari. (** – Sidenote story – read at end)

We arrived & went to our B&B – Antipico.

Bari, we were told, was a lively local town.

There are tourists here, no question, but the locals outnumbered by far.

We liked it here and it grew on us very quickly.

We had a quick wander about and got a drink in this really cool little bar – La Ciclatera. It was a small place that had alcoves & stuff everywhere!

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Then back to get showered & changed ready for dinner.

When we went out in the early evening, we got to see what Marius has said about it being lively.

The place was buzzing with people everywhere. It was a Saturday night, yes, but not like you would think.

The big difference was that it was everyone. There were families, groups of young people, groups of older, groups surrounding by kids.

Everyone was out.

People were sat everywhere & anywhere and there was a lot of noise being created by what seemed like the whole community coming out to play.

We had decided to try a place to eat called MareViglie lo Sprofondo

We really liked it here, it was pretty busy but the service was excellent. Again, the lack of English speaking made the asking/choosing more fun.

This was very apparent from our starter order – we thought we had chosen a ‘premium’ platter to share – we pictured it being hams, salami’s, cheese, olives and the like – lovely!

What came out?

3 big portions of raw cold fish! – Salmon, Tuna & Swordfish.

A far cry from what we wanted but actually really nice.

The main course was better but somehow I ordered a pizza which effectively had chips on it & a bit of ham!

Lisa fared better with ‘mouse ears’ pasta.

Despite this, it was a really nice meal & a nice bottle of white.

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Afterwards, we wandered about for a bit; the streets were still full of people & this still included kids of all ages. We went back to our little bar again for a couple of G&T nightcaps.

The next morning we heading for our breakfast. Not quite the same as we had experienced in the 2 other places.

It was a short walk to a cafe where we were eligible for a free coffee & a croissant.

This was supposed to be the ‘Bari’ way……well, quite frankly, we preferred the other way!

  Bari On Bikes

We then met up with Marius, Friddy & Kamal. This was going to be a tour around Bari on bikes.

Friddy & Kamal decided they didn’t want to do it. They were going to get a train & visit another town nearby. We said our goodbyes as we wouldn’t see them again.

A shame really as the cycle tour was really good – Velo Service

We saw a lot of places that we had already seen….but this time with some information explaining what on earth things actually were & with some history behind it.

Including Basilica San Nicola which was St Nicholas’s church – he was the patron saint of sailors, prostitutes & children; which sorts of works if you think about it.

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One of the stops has a bittersweet taste to it.

We stopped at basically a woman’s house in a square. she had a little kitchen set up outside.

We were going here to learn how to make pasta again as we did when we were in Matera.

This woman was quite a character, she spoke no English & just shouted for most of the time.

She shouted to her neighbours, to people walking past she knew…but most of the time she shouted at her husband.

Marius & the girl from the cycle tour gave us a running commentary.

She was laying into her husband big time.

Really slagging him off, saying how lazy he was & utterly useless arsehole! (he looked a lot like the character of Manuel in Fawlty Towers).

We sat there in the sun, with a beer & made pasta.

She cooked various things & we tried them.

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We really enjoyed it here, so much that we said to Marius about coming back for lunch, which he arranged.

We did our last bit of wandering & then headed back for food.

We had asked Marius to join us which he did before he had to leave for his flight.

Anyway, we had some lunch, it was like tapas really, a few small plates, nothing mind-blowing.

When we left and asked for the bill, they wanted 50 euro!

Holy shit! How much?!

We did the British thing and paid immediately asking no questions.

Then followed it up with a whole lot of bitching in private.

It did put a bit of a dampener on our last lunch to be honest, but such is life.

Since then I have looked at the Google reviews & a lot of people complain about the ‘Quantity to Cost’ ratio, so it wasn’t just us she stiffed which is nice to know.

Anyway, off we went & found a little bar to get a bottle of white wine & while away an hour or so until we were ready to head to the airport & home.

Another great trip with Untravelled Paths to a lovely part of Italy.

___________________________________________________________________

** – Sidenote Story:

When we 1st arrived in Bari, a friend of mine, Simon (Hells Bells Hols Bols) rang me. I text back to say I was away in Italy & would ring when I got back to the UK.

A variety of texts were then exchanged where it turned out that not only was he also in Italy, he was also in Alberobello! & further to this, he & his wife Rosemary had bought a Trulli! He was actually there having work done!

Gutted!

Had he rung the day before we could have all met up for a beer & seen their new holiday home (which they will be renting out when finished) – you can find it on Instagram – https://instagram.com/trullo_genista

  Puglia, Italy – Pasta, Pizza, Wine, Sourdough Bread & More Wine Another trip booked with 'Untravelled Paths' & another success. This time a 4 night trip to the Puglia region of Italy - …

[lastbluetardis]

And Babies Make Five and Six (6/16)

Summary: Sometimes the things we want the most stay just out of reach. But after an extra helping of heartache as they try for a third baby, James and Rose are blessed with double the joy.

Trigger warning for infertility for select chapters–this is one of those chapters.

I’m sorry for the delay (again!) But this chapter is the start of the climax of the story and I wanted to be sure I was telling the best possible story. This is also looking like it will be longer than the originally-planned eleven chapters, so I’ve adjusted the chapter count with my new prediction.

Ten x Rose AU

This chapter: Mature, 9000 words

Betaed by the marvelous @chocolatequeennk, and also written for @doctorroseprompts because it is a Doctor x Rose fic.

AO3 | TSP | FF | Perfectly Matched Series

Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 | Ch7 | Ch8 | Ch9 | Ch10 | Ch11 |  Ch12 | Ch13 | Ch14 | Ch15 | Ch16

The rest of their holiday passed too quickly for either of their liking, and they tried to squeeze as many activities into their days as they could.

On their second to last evening, they sat entwined on a lounge chair and star-gazed as they sipped chilled champagne and ate the chocolate-covered fruit they’d ordered. They were grateful for the cover of darkness and the privacy of having the outermost waterfront suite as they basked in the afterglow of their latest lovemaking session.

“I think we’re putting our younger selves to shame,” James laughed as he nuzzled his face into her sweat-dampened hair.

“It must be all the shellfish, acting as an aphrodisiac,” she mumbled, heaving out a sated sigh.

James snorted. “As if I’d need an aphrodisiac. I’m always horny around you.”

Rose giggled, knowing the truth in that statement. James’s sex drive had always been robust, equal only to her own, and not even the past twelve and a half years of intimacy had cooled his ardor. It was an intoxicating feeling, knowing that her husband wanted her just as much now as he did when they first met.

“Same for me,” she said. “You’re too sexy for your own good.” His chest rumbled beneath her ear as he giggled, and she smiled at the sound. She then arched her back, stretching her slightly sore muscles. “God, this trip has been amazing. I can’t believe we have to go home soon.”

“I know,” he said, reached over to top off their champagne glasses. “While I miss our daughters terribly, I love being alone here with you.”

Rose hummed in agreement and tilted her head back to lean against James’s chest. Her torso rose and fell softly with his as he breathed, and she could feel the faint pounding of his heartbeat against the back of her head.

He wrapped an arm around her middle and hugged her tight. Rose watched him point out various patterns in the stars with his free hand. His voice was low and intimate as he told her all about the Polynesian history he’d read about, and how the people of old used to navigate the vast expanses of the ocean using the stars as their only guide.

She smiled as he spoke, and let the rhythm of his voice and the Bora Bora nightlife lull her further into a trance-like state of relaxation. She was barely aware of James helping her to bed some time later, and once cushioned in the plush mattress, she immediately fell into a deep sleep.

When they woke up the next morning, it was to the sound of rain pattering against the roof of their suite.

“At least the weather had the decency to wait until our last day to start raining,” James said brightly.

“Mhm,” Rose agreed, standing at the window to the deck and watching the churning of the sea beneath the gray clouds. “Besides, a little rain won’t disrupt our souvenir shopping.”

After breakfast and a shared shower, James and Rose huddled under the same umbrella as they moved from shop to shop, admiring the authentic Bora Bora souvenirs. Rose ran her fingertips across the tribal wood carvings, loving texture of the patterns etched into the smooth wood.

She picked up a tri-fold picture frame and ran her thumb across the smooth wood. James loved taking new photographs of their daughters into his office, and Rose thought this would be perfect for him to set on the corner of his desk. She hid it at the bottom of her basket then moved to the opposite end of the shop when a matching wood carved necklace and bracelet set caught her eye. She called James over. “Ainsley is always getting into my jewelry box to play dress up. I think she’d love these.”

“Oh absolutely,” he said, and they purchased it along with a set of wooden bowls that came with gorgeously carved lids for Robert.

For their youngest, they decided on a set of children’s books about the island. One set was a series that detailed the wildlife on Bora Bora and the surrounding islands, both land and sea creatures, and one was specific to the plant life. Another book was a story about a little girl growing up on the island. The bright colors and unique plants and animals would capture their toddler’s attention, they knew, and it would be a nice book to look at when they wanted to remember the life on the island.

When they bought themselves a few bottles of the oils and lotions used during the massage they’d gotten on their anniversary, they also added an extra few to their basket after Rose noted that her mum would probably enjoy the beauty products, too.

Over lunch, James surprised Rose with a gift-wrapped package containing a matching necklace and earring set made of the island’s famous black pearls.

“Oh, James!” she gasped, rubbing her thumb across the smooth, iridescent pearls. “These are beautiful!”

He beamed. “I thought you’d love them. They’ll look gorgeous against your skin. Even when you go back to being pasty pale.”

Rose stuck her tongue out at him and said, “Oi, you’re paler than me.” She then ducked down and rifled through the bags at her feet. “I got something for you, too. Not as elegant as the pearls, I’m afraid.”

“Oh, nonsense, this is perfect!” he crowed, his voice pitching high in his excitement. He accepted the picture frame from her, and he opened it up. He traced his thumbnail through the grooves of the intricate, swirling patterns in the wood. “Oh, this is going right on my desk at work! Can you help me get a few photos printed when we get home?”

“Of course,” she said, smiling. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it,” James said, leaning over to press an over-the-top smacking kiss to her lips.

After lunch, they continued their shopping excursion. Rose’s eyes were drawn to a shop filled with colorful fabrics, and James let himself be led into the clothing shop, where he watched his wife move from rack to rack, admiring the hand-dyed clothing and accessories.

“I wonder what these are,” Rose said, gesturing to a rack displaying long, stretchy lengths of fabric. She pulled one off and held it up. “It’s not wide enough to be a sarong,” she muttered to herself. “Too stretchy to be a scarf.”

“It is so you can carry your baby.”

James and Rose turned at the voice and saw a woman—presumably the shop owner—standing behind them and wearing the same article of clothing as Rose was holding up. The woman turned to the side and gestured to the sleeping baby that was swaddled close to her chest. The woman then walked to a different rack to hang up the scarves she’d been carrying.

“Oh, that is beautiful,” Rose gasped as she held the baby wrap to her body and haphazardly fastened it across her torso.

James hummed his agreement. The vibrant blues and greens looked lovely against her skin, and his brain couldn’t help but show him this same image but with a dark-haired baby nestled in the front pouch.

Rose, it seemed, had the same idea.

“This would be so handy, eh?” she asked. “It’s a bit looser in the front than the baby wrap we have, which smooshes my boobs when I wear it. Having smooshed boobs when breastfeeding is not the most pleasant sensation I’ve ever felt.”

“I’ll bet,” James said with a grimace. “If you want it, go ahead. Prep for baby three.”

Rose returned his giddy grin, and she added the baby wrap to her basket.

With babies on the brain, they were both drawn to the selection of baby accessories in the shop, from blankets to swaddles to caps. As they browsed the selection, they began to muse aloud about their next child.

“You better give your little swimmers a pep talk if you want a boy,” Rose teased, nudging her elbow into his ribs. “All I can contribute is the X chromosome.”

James rolled his eyes. “I don’t care if we get a boy or a girl, as long as they’re healthy.”

They continued swapping predictions back and forth, speculating what their baby would look like. They wondered about the kind of personality their child would have, and if they would be calm and sweet like Ainsley, or energetic and daring like Sianin.

“Probably something new and unique that we’ll have to learn to adapt to,” James said.

“D’you think Sianin will like having a little brother or sister?” Rose asked curiously. “Ainsley adores being a big sister. But Sianin… I can’t quite see how she’ll react.”

“I think she’ll take her cue from Ainsley, like always,” James said. “I think she’ll see how excited Ainsley is, and so she’ll be excited too.”

“I hope so,” Rose said, bringing her basket to the register to pay.

When they were finished with their shopping, they headed back to their room to prepare for their last dinner on the island. While the rain had mostly stopped by the evening, the clouds remained, and James and Rose dined atop the lagoon and watched the wind stir up waves.

A package was waiting for them when they got back to their room after dinner.

“Oh, good, I was getting worried it wouldn’t be done in time,” Rose said happily, skipping up to it.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Why don’t you open it and find out?”

Rose bit her lip as James fumbled to tear open the thick packing paper, and she beamed when she heard his gasp.

“Oh, Rose!”

He held up a painting of the two of them on the beach. His arms were wrapped around her waist and she was leaning back against him, and both of them were wearing big smiles. The colors were vibrant and tropical, from the greens and blues of the sea behind them to the pinks and oranges of the sunset sky.

“How did you do this?” he asked, his mouth open in surprise.

“I saw a local artist on the beach that first day we were here,” Rose said. “She takes family photographs and paints them onto a beach setting. I snuck off to give her the photo when you were napping on the beach.”

“You’re incredible, d’you know that?” he murmured, gently setting the painting down on the bed to turn to take her up into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his waist and nuzzled into his chest. “I love it so much. Thank you. It’s a perfect memento to bring home with us.”

“I thought so too,” she said. “This trip has been so perfect.”

He hummed into her shoulder, then pressed a kiss to her skin.

They turned in early that night, wanting to be well-rested when they caught their morning flight off the island.

They came home from their anniversary refreshed, relaxed, and much tanner than when they’d left. They arrived at their house late at night, after the girls were already asleep.

“Welcome home!” Robert greeted when they stepped through the front door. “Bora Bora was good for you. You both look amazing.”

“Thanks, Dad!” Rose skipped up to him and caught him in a tight hug. “How were the girls?”

“Wonderful, as always,” he answered.

Rose turned and walked down the hall, unable to resist peeking in on her daughters. She poked her head into Sianin’s room first. Her heart melted when she saw how Sianin was lying diagonally across her mattress with her blankets shoved all the way to the foot of the bed. Barely daring to breathe, Rose crept into her room and pulled the covers up and draped them over Sianin’s little body.

Sianin snorted in her sleep, then rolled over onto her side and hugged her blankets to her chest as she popped a thumb into her mouth.

“I love you,” Rose murmured, aching to pull Sianin into her arms.

She resisted, and then turned around to leave the room where she saw James leaning against the door frame. She stepped by him and saw him linger at the door to watch Sianin sleep while she entered Ainsley’s room.

Her six-year-old was sound asleep on her stomach, with her blankets pulled tight around her shoulders. Her dark hair was in her face, and Rose crouched down to smooth it back. Ainsley stayed dead asleep, and Rose smiled at her child.

She pressed a soft kiss to Ainsley’s temple and whispered, “I love you,” before she left the room to let James have his turn.

She walked back to the living room, where Robert was readying his things.

“Dad, you don’t need to leave!” Rose protested. “It’s the middle of the night. Stay!”

“I don’t want to intrude…”

“Dad, don’t be stupid.” Rose turned and saw James enter the room. When he reached her side, Rose smacked his chest lightly and hissed, “Rude!”

James ignored her and said, “It’s a forty-minute drive back to your flat. Stay here the night.”

Robert agreed, then added, “I’m glad I’m moving closer. That will make this easier.”

James hummed and nodded, before he and Rose bade Robert goodnight.

They worked around each other as they went through their nighttime routine. Finishing first, Rose collapsed into their bed and listened to her husband moving around the ensuite.

“It’s good to be home,” she murmured, nuzzling into her pillow that smelled a little stale after two weeks of disuse.

“Yeah it is,” he answered.

He flicked their light off and scooted into bed beside her. They moved together until she was spooned back against him. She hugged his arm to her chest and laced their fingers together beneath her chin.

“First day we haven’t shagged in seven days straight,” she mumbled to his knuckles.

“Oh dear. We’re losing our touch,” he said dryly. Rose giggled, and he pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. “Though I suppose it’ll be all right to give our bodies a bit of a break. Too much of a good thing and all?”

“Pfft. I can’t ever get enough of you,” Rose mumbled through a yawn. Her eyelids drooped, and James squeezed her tight before he wormed his arm out of her grasp.

“And I, you.” He pressed a lingering kiss to her hair and whispered, “Get some sleep. Nighty night.”

Rose slept like the dead, and if she had any dreams, she couldn’t remember them. She didn’t feel at all ready to wake up when two small bodies jumped into their bed when it was still dark outside.

“Mummy! Daddy! You’re home!”

Rose smiled sleepily at her two daughters, and she grabbed them both up into her arms. She held them tight to her chest and buried her nose into first Ainsley’s hair, then Sianin’s, and she delighted in breathing them in.

“I missed you so much,” Rose said, peppering them with kisses.

“Daddy’s turn,” James said, cuddling up against Rose’s side to take their girls into his arms.

After the initial hugs were given out, James and Rose lay back down in their bed with their kids in between them. They listened to Ainsley and Sianin tell them all about their week with Grandad, and then they answered their questions about Bora Bora. Rose grabbed her phone and showed their daughters the many photos they took while on their holiday, at least until Sianin grew bored and started asking for breakfast.

Getting back into the groove of working was challenging after two weeks off. The first morning Rose’s alarm went off, she groaned and snoozed her phone before she rolled over and buried her face in James’s back.

“I hate working,” she mumbled.

“No you don’t,” he said, turning to face her. “You love your job.”

“I’d love it more if I didn’t have to be in at seven,” she said.

“I know,” James said. “But we both agreed that those hours would work best in coordinating school drop off and pick up.”

“Stop being logical,” Rose said, poking his belly.

He breathed out a laugh and draped an arm around her waist. “As you wish.”

They remained in their embrace until Rose’s alarm went off again.

James had it easy; the university was still on holiday, so he wouldn’t have to worry about needing to be a functioning human early in the morning for another couple of weeks.

The weekend before his term was about to start, Rose woke him with lazy kisses to his chest and neck, and finally his lips. He hummed into the kiss and threaded his fingers through her sleep-tangled hair as he held her closer.

“Good morning to you, too,” he murmured against her lips.

“My period is late,” she whispered.

James blinked up at her, not sure if he’d misheard her or his groggy brain had misunderstood. But no, she had a giddy grin on her face and her eyes were alight with excitement.

“Yeah?” he asked hopefully.

She nodded. “Was supposed to get it Monday. Still don’t have it.”

“Do you have a pregnancy test?” he asked, sitting upright as anticipation pulsed through his veins.

“Bought a few after work yesterday,” she said.

“Well what are you waiting for? Go wee!”

Rose laughed at him and swatted his chest.

“Charming,” she drawled, but she shifted away from him to crawl out of bed.

James sat up too and waited anxiously as Rose disappeared into the loo. A few moments later, he heard the faucet running as she washed her hands, and he joined her in the ensuite.

The pregnancy test was sitting face-down on the vanity. He stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle. He buried his face into her neck and breathed her in as he gently rocked them from side to side.

“Love you.”

Rose brought her hands up to cover his, and she leaned back into his chest. “I love you, too.”

After a few minutes, James said, “Wanna look?”

“Yeah.”

Rose reached over for the test, but kept it upside down.

She was nervous yet excited all at once. They’d shagged like bunnies—hell, they’d probably put some bunnies to shame—during their anniversary. And she’d been fertile for most of their trip. She didn’t know if that was good luck or providence, but whatever it was, she felt it deep in her bones that things were finally looking up for them.

So when she flipped the test stick over and heard James’s disappointed little “oh”, she didn’t understand. She saw the single line—not pregnant—and still didn’t understand. They’d been trying so hard. They’d had sex every day of her ovulation cycle. Multiple times a day, sometimes. She should be pregnant.

The warmth and hope in her bloodstream evaporated, leaving her feeling cold and aching.

“We’ll try again,” James said quietly, pecking a kiss to the back of her head before he unwrapped his arms from around her waist and moved to throw away the negative test.

She wanted to cry. His disappointment grated against her for some reason. Maybe because she, too, was disappointed and all she wanted was for him to be the optimistic one. Or maybe because it hurt to hear the hurt in his voice. She was so sick of failing him. She wanted to go back to her doctor and pester her to make sure that she was positive that there wasn’t anything wrong with her. Because there had to be. There had to be some reason why she wasn’t getting pregnant.

“We’ll try again next month,” he said again, and she flinched away from his hand on her back.

Tears burned behind her eyes. She didn’t want to wait another month to try again. She hated that they had to wait. Why couldn’t her body be fertile more often? Like James’s. It wasn’t bloody fair.

“You okay?”

No, she wanted to shout. I thought all that shagging we’d done on our holiday would’ve done the trick. I thought we’d really done it this time and finally made a baby. But it was all for nothing.

As soon as she thought the words, they were gone, and in their place was a foul taste in her mouth. What sort of terrible person was she that she’d just boiled down her wonderful anniversary holiday with James to only its potential of conception? She’d had so much fun with him in Bora Bora.

She forced herself to remember all of the amazing things they’d done together. Snorkeling, hiking, swimming. And a whole lot of shagging. Which turned out to have been fruitless.

Stop that, she chastised. We made love for more reasons than just to make a baby. We made love because we are so in love with each other, and because it’s fun and feels really great.

“Rose?”

Oh, right. James was still waiting on an answer.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” she whispered, forcing down all of the ugly thoughts that had cropped up.

His slight frown told her he didn’t believe her.

“Are you sure?” he asked quietly. She clenched her jaw as she tried to make herself feel as okay as she claimed. “Because I’m not. I’m disappointed and upset. Remember, you don’t have to pretend with me, Rose.”

Her throat ached as her vision blurred. His face softened when he saw her tears, and he murmured, “Oh, Rose. C’mere.”

Her face crumpled and she choked on a sob as James pulled her into his arms. She clung to him as her tears fell, and she wept with frustration and feelings of inadequacy.

It was her fault that they weren’t getting pregnant, and it was her fault they had to keep waiting, and it was her fault that they were even in this mess. She never should have taken that pregnancy test eighteen months ago. As she’d told him then, there was virtually no chance she was even pregnant.

But she did take that test, and she’d gotten to thinking about having another baby, and worse, she’d gotten James thinking about it. She’d gotten his hopes up, and every month that came without a pregnancy had them crashing back down again.

She gasped in a breath as she tried to stifle her sobs against his shoulder, but more kept taking their place.

“Shh,” he whispered, squeezing her tighter. “It’s okay. You’re okay. Everything will be okay. Just breathe, love.”

She tried to breathe, but her lungs felt too tight and she couldn’t do much more than suck in shallow gasps of air. She was just so exhausted. All she wanted was to be pregnant and for this whole ordeal to be over. Was that too much to ask?

Maybe it was. After all, she already had two amazing children with her equally amazing husband.

Her stomach roiled as she thought of Ainsley and Sianin. She was already so, so lucky to have her daughters. Was she being selfish and ungrateful by wanting more? She should feel completely satisfied with the family she had, rather than fixated on what she didn’t have. Why couldn’t she be happy with her two kids? Why did she feel this ache in her chest, this longing for another child, every time she looked at Ainsley and Sianin?

She was about to confess all of the terrible thoughts she was thinking, but then stopped herself. If she hated herself for them, what if James did too? He’d surely be angry when she told him how Ainsley and Sianin weren’t enough.

But they are enough, she protested. They are more than enough! I just… want more.

“Easy does it,” James murmured. “That’s it. Breathe.”

Rose shuddered in a breath, and she squeezed his waist tightly.

“I thought we’d finally done it,” she rasped into his chest. “I really, really did.”

“So did I,” he admitted, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “We’ll just keep trying.”

Rose sniffled and kept her face buried in his collarbone until her tears stopped. James pulled back to look at her, and the sight of his pink, wet eyes nearly set her off again. But she drew in a shuddering breath and managed to blink through her tears.

While keeping one arm wrapped around her waist, James reached up with his other hand to cradle her cheek in his palm. He swiped his thumb under her eye, and Rose rubbed her other eye dry.

“Get a shower, and I’ll have breakfast ready when you’re done,” he said softly.

Rose nodded and turned away from him to take a hot shower. She hated the ache in her chest. She hated that this one thing could bring her such distress. It wasn’t that big of a deal.

But it is, she argued. It’s a baby. A new little person I’ve made with James that’s half him and half me that we will love forever. It’s a new sibling for Ainsley and Sianin, a built-in friend for life.

But Ainsley and Sianin are already the best of friends, Rose continued, trying to soothe herself and her sadness. Yes, it would be nice for them to have another brother or sister, but they’re fine by themselves. Just like James and I are fine with having two kids.

She continued the back and forth until the water began to go cool. Cursing, she hastily finished her shower and dressed in soft, comfy trousers and one of James’s jumpers. Being surrounded in his scent worked wonders to calm her, and she felt as composed as she was going to get as she joined her family for breakfast.

Both girls were awake and James had them in his lap where he was sitting on the couch as cartoons played on the television. A plate of pancakes sat on the end table, and Rose watched him roll one up like a burrito and stuff half of it into his mouth.

He caught sight of her and beamed.

“‘Ose!” he said though his chipmunk cheeks. “Ma’e pa’cakes!”

Rose couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled through her chest and doubled her over with laughter. After the morning she’d had, she’d desperately been in need of a good laugh.

“Oh, I love you,” she said, stepping up to him.

Once he finished chewing and swallowing, she pressed a light kiss to his lips, before she ducked down and pressed kisses to her daughters’ heads. She lingered with her lips on their foreheads, letting their presence comfort her.

When she joined them on the couch after getting herself a cup of tea and a plate of pancakes and eggs, Sianin wriggled off of James’s lap and into hers to scavenge for more food.

“Daddy already gave you your breakfast,” Rose said as her toddler knelt on her thighs and looked down at Rose’s plate.

“Want more,” Sianin said. “Please Mummy?”

“Do you want a pancake or eggies?” Rose asked, gesturing with her fork.

“Both.”

Rose skewered a small bite of food for her daughter and let Sianin grab the base of the fork below her fingers so she could feed herself.

“Want more,” Sianin said, moving the fork as though to load it up with more food.

“Mummy’s turn,” Rose said.

They continued to share her plate of food until it was empty, then James stood up and took everyone’s plate into the kitchen before he walked down the hall to get a shower.

In a rare fit of stillness, Sianin stayed in Rose’s lap, facing her. The toddler flashed her a sudden grin then buried her face in Rose’s chest and said, “I love you, Mummy. Mummy, I looooove youuuuu.”

The backs of Rose’s eyes stung, and she hugged her daughter tightly.

“I love you, too, baby,” she whispered, closing her eyes and nuzzling her nose into Sianin’s soft hair. “So much.”

Not wanting to be left out, Ainsley cuddled close to Rose’s side and said, “I love you, too, Mummy.”

Rose smiled against Sianin’s head, and she opened her arm for her other daughter. Ainsley rested her head atop Rose’s breast and wrapped her arms around Rose’s waist.

“And I love you, too, Ainsley. So much.”

Sitting there with her children in her arms, Rose felt contentment wash over her, warming her from the inside out and dispelling the coldness she’d felt since seeing the negative pregnancy test.

Yes, what she had was more than enough. Her family was perfect just the way it was.

But as the weeks dragged along, that mantra was harder to maintain, especially when there was seemingly an explosion of babies around them.

“The Johnsons across the street are pregnant,” Rose grumbled, having run into the neighbor on her morning jog. It had been difficult to smile and congratulate the older woman on her pregnancy because if a woman seven years her senior could get pregnant, why couldn’t she?

“Yeah, I spoke to Dave yesterday,” James said. “That’s wonderful. A bit of a surprise, from what I gathered. But a happy surprise nonetheless.”

Rose had to bite her tongue against the scathing comment about the unfairness of it all. Getting angry with James wouldn’t help anything.

“So, Ainsley’s got that sleepover this weekend,” he said, coming up behind her in a backwards hug. “And it’s been awhile since Jackie babysat. What do you say to you and me having a sleepover of our own?”

Rose sighed. It had been almost a month since they got home from Bora Bora, and in that time, she and James rarely found themselves alone. They were due for a private weekend together, but she wasn’t really in the mood for a romantic night out.

Before she could try and convince James otherwise, she remembered that she couldn’t go away with him that weekend. She felt guilty when the tension left her body at that realization.

“Sorry, love, but I’ve got that photo session all day on Saturday,” she said apologetically.

“Crap, that’s right.” He sighed. “Oh well. Rain check.”

She squeezed his hand before she stepped away from his embrace and headed down the hall to shower.

Her photoshoot that weekend did nothing to help her worsening mood. She was booked for a newborn debut shoot. Again.

Why do I always get these bloody shoots? Rose grumbled to herself as she set up her equipment in the studio. Since returning from her holiday, she’d had at least ten newborn shoots. Ten days where she saw new mums and dads come in with their new baby. In order to get the angles she wanted, Rose usually had to pick up the baby and reposition them, and every time she felt the warm weight of a baby in her arms, an ache lodged in her chest. It was getting to be so hard to continuously photograph new babies and new parents and new big siblings without her imagination getting the best of her.

Her mind would supply her with pictures of how her family would look in these photoshoots. It showed her James with a proud grin on his face as he held their three children in his lap. It showed her Ainsley, who would be so eager to hold her new baby sibling. It showed her Sianin, who, under James’s guidance with holding a newborn, would be smiling down into the baby’s face. It showed her herself, still round with lingering baby weight, holding an infant to her chest as the rest of her family stood beside her.

It hurt every time she had to come back to reality and leave that fantasy in her memories.

That particular Saturday was the worst day she’d had yet. It was a family shoot, not just a newborn shoot. It was a husband and wife, with their two eldest daughters and newborn baby boy. The girls were six and three, and it was impossible for Rose to not see the parallel.

She tried to rush through the shoot under the guise of wanting to get the photographs done before the baby or either of the children lost their patience. The parents agreed, and together they all worked quickly to get the shots the family wanted.

It was the longest hour of Rose’s life. By the time she shook hands with the mother and father and made an appointment for them to come in and pick out the photos they wanted, she was near tears. Those tears fell as soon as she was alone, and she pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes as she tried and failed to stop them.

She hated this. She hated feeling like this. She wished the ache of want in her chest would go away, and more than anything, she wished she knew what she was doing wrong to keep them from getting pregnant.

According to everyone else, there wasn’t anything wrong. She was healthy. Her uterus was healthy. Her eggs were healthy. But if she were healthy, surely something should’ve happened by now. Her body had proven before that it could get pregnant with no trouble, so why wasn’t it getting pregnant now?

She tried to ignore those thoughts as she packed away her equipment and returned to her office to download the photographs. They were beautiful photos, but Rose was having trouble looking at them with the right eye to touch them up. After almost two hours of editing, deleting her edits, and re-editing, Rose gave up with a frustrated groan. She shut down her computer, angry with herself that she couldn’t focus on her work. How unprofessional was she that she was letting her personal life impact her work?

With a sigh, she told herself she would take a breather and relax for the rest of the weekend before coming back into the studio on Monday to look at the photos with fresh eyes.

But it was no good. Monday came, and Rose found herself dreading the project. She pushed all of her other work to the front and focused on the digital art renderings she’d been commissioned to do.

By the end of the week, Rose had reached the end of her rope when she’d been given assignments for two more baby photoshoots.

“I can’t do these, Lindsey,” Rose said as she stormed into her boss’s office with the assignment slips. “I can’t. Why am I the only bloody person around here that photographs babies? Eh? Why can’t I ever get the weekend assignments to go all across the country and photograph weddings? Why can’t I ever get the assignments to take photos of local scenery? But no, I get the bloody babies!”

Rose’s eyes were stinging with frustration and embarrassment, and her boss’s eyes were wide.

“Shut the door, Rose,” she said quietly, and Rose did so, but stayed standing until Lindsey gestured for her to sit down. “Rose, is everything okay?”

“Fine,” she said stiffly, feeling mortified about how she’d just snapped at her boss.

“It’s just… you love doing the baby shoots,” Lindsey said gently.

“Well, maybe I’m just bored with them,” she mumbled.

“That’s fair enough. But are you sure there isn’t anything else that’s wrong?”

Rose sighed and finally admitted, “James and I have been trying for another baby for almost two years, with no luck. It’s becoming hard to constantly be working with new babies, is all.”

Her boss’s face pinched into an expression of sympathy, and Rose clenched her jaw. She didn’t want pity; she had enough self-pity. She just wanted more diversity with her assignments until she was able to work through her anger and frustration over her current situation.

“Anyway,” Rose continued before Lindsey could say anything. “It’s given me a block with editing the photos, and it’s not fair to the clients to have someone who isn’t interested in their photos doing the edits. So if I could not get any more baby shoots for a while, that’d be great.”

She set the assignment slips on her boss’s desk and turned around to stalk back to her own office.

James, meanwhile, wasn’t faring much better, especially after one of his work friends announced that he and his wife were pregnant with their second child.

“We’d been trying for ages,” Mark told James when they went out for celebratory drinks. “Eight or nine months, I reckon.”

James regretted the shot of tequila he’d just taken as his stomach rolled with jealousy and annoyance. Nine months was no time at all. He and Rose had been trying for twice as long as that. Before he could say something he would later regret, James clapped Mark on the shoulder and ordered a new round of drinks.

The middle of February rolled around, and the weekend before Valentine’s Day found James helping his dad move into his new flat.

“Just me today,” James called out, walking through the open front door. “Sianin caught a bug at the daycare. Rose is staying home with her.”

“Aww, is she okay?” Robert asked, grimacing in sympathy.

“Yeah, she’ll be fine. It’s a slight fever and a cough. All she’s wanted to do is sleep though, which is quite telling to how poorly she’s feeling. And evidently Rose’s arms are the only place that sleeping can happen,” James answered, rubbing his fingers into his tired eyes. Sianin had slept with them last night, and her continuous coughing and wriggling around had kept them both up for most of the night.

“I remember those days,” Robert said. “A mum or dad cuddle is often the best medicine for a sick baby.”

James nodded and accepted the mug of coffee his dad offered.

“So how’s retired life?” he asked, glancing around at the boxes that were labeled ‘uni office’. “Is it weird not going into the university every day?”

“Yeah, a bit. It’s like I don’t quite know what to do with myself.”

“Well, Rose and I are just a mile away,” James said. “Stop by and play with your grandkids whenever you want.”

“It’ll be nice to see the girls more often,” Robert said, gesturing for James to sit at the table. “And you. What’s been happening with you? And Rose? I feel like I haven’t really talked to you in a while. ”

“Yeah, suppose not.” James paused for a moment. He took a sip of coffee then admitted, “Rose and I… we’ve been trying for another baby.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” Robert said with a smile.

James shook his head as a lump swelled up in his throat.

“We’ve, ehm, we’ve been trying for a while. In June it’ll be two years,” he whispered, rubbing at his stinging nose. “And nothing. Rose took a test last month because she suspected she might be pregnant. Came back negative. I thought for sure, since she was ovulating during our anniversary… Rose was so disappointed, Dad. She was so upset, and I didn’t know how to make her feel better.”

James’s chest ached as he remembered how tightly Rose had clung to him and how her entire body shook with sobs. He hadn’t seen her that upset since her struggle with postpartum depression after Sianin’s birth.

“Oh, mate.” Robert touched his hand to James’s forearm and gave it a squeeze. “I’m so sorry.”

“We got tested right before Christmas, to make sure nothing’s wrong, and everything came back clear, but I’m not sure I believe that,” James said. “There’s got to be a reason this isn’t happening for us.”

“These things sometimes happen, James,” Robert said gently.

“But we already have two kids!” he exclaimed. “I’d be more believing of that if we were trying for our first and having no luck. But we got pregnant with Ainsley and Sianin straightaway. We’ve been trying for a baby for longer than we’d tried for the two of them combined. Hell, we could’ve gone through two pregnancies by now!”

“I know,” Robert said.

“I just want a baby,” James whimpered, sniffing. “I want one so badly, Dad. I didn’t realize how much. Because at the beginning, I told myself that we still had time. That Sianin was still practically a baby, so it would be okay if it took a few months, or a year. But now… My baby is gonna be three in a month.”

Robert nodding in understanding.

“Does this make me a bad dad?” James asked. “Wanting another child when I’ve already got two wonderful daughters?”

“Of course not. Why on earth would that make you a bad father?”

“Because I feel like I’m saying Ainsley and Sianin aren’t good enough. Like I’m saying I’m not satisfied with my girls.”

“James, that’s not true,” Robert said. “It doesn’t make you a bad father to want more children. It’s completely natural, a biological urge, to want to have children. Your biological clock is ticking, and so is Rose’s, and that’s one hell of a thing to try to overcome. Believe me. It was hard at times for me to accept that you would be my only child. But that didn’t mean I was dissatisfied with you, or that I loved you any less.”

“How did you cope?” James asked. “This feels awful. How can I make it go away? How can I make myself be content with the life I have?”

Robert pursed his lips and sighed. “Time, unfortunately, is what made it go away for me. When you were born, the feeling muted, because I was so happy to have a healthy child. But then as you grew from a baby into a child—actually, you were around the age Sianin is—those feelings came back. When your mum and I lost the fourth baby, we called it quits for real. And it was hard, James. I won’t lie. It was really hard. But that doesn’t ever mean I was unhappy with my life and my family. You and your mum brought so much joy to my life, and I was grateful for every moment I got to share with you both, but there were moments when I felt bitter about my lot in life.”

James sighed, not feeling at all better.

“It will get better, mate,” Robert said softly, covering James’s hand. “I promise you. That ache deep inside? That frantic tug? It’ll go away. And I know you don’t hold the same beliefs that I do, but I’ll pray for you and Rose, that this hurt you’re feeling will heal.”

A tear finally streaked down James’s cheek, and he pulled his hands away to rub them over his face. He sniffed hard and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes until the urge to cry went away.

“We should get working,” James said, his voice raspier than he would have liked. He pushed up from the table and ignored his father’s sigh and instead began unloading the half-empty box of kitchen supplies.

They worked long into the evening, and when James returned home, he was thoroughly exhausted and his muscles ached.

“How’s my baby?” James cooed when he crouched down next to the sofa where Sianin was laying with her head in Rose’s lap.

“Hi Daddy,” she whispered. “Don’t feel good.”

“I know, darling.” He brushed his lips across her forehead and frowned at how hot she felt. He looked up at Rose and asked, “What’s her temperature?”

“Thirty-eight point five,” Rose said with a sigh. “It’s been steadily climbing all day. If it doesn’t break tonight, I’m going to take her to the doctor.”

James nodded, and he saw how wrung out Rose looked.

“Are you feeling all right?” James asked, pressing the backs of his fingers to her forehead.

“Just tired,” she said with a weary smile.

James pressed a kiss to her forehead, then went to their bedroom to get a shower to wash off the sweat from helping his dad unload boxes and move furniture around all day.

When he returned to the living room, Ainsley was home from her day at the neighbor’s.

“Hi Daddy!” she said, skipping up to him.

He reached down and swung her up into his arms.

“Hiya darling,” he said. “Did you have fun with the Johnsons?”

Ainsley launched into telling him all about her day as he walked with her on his hip to the kitchen to make himself something to eat.

“Are you hungry, Ainsley, or did the Johnsons give you supper?” he asked.

“They made supper,” she answered. “We had hamburgers.”

James kept Ainsley in his arms as he walked with his warmed-up chicken soup to the living room. His heart clenched at how utterly miserable Sianin looked. Her face was pale except for the splotchy pink spots on her cheeks. Her nose was bright red and chapped from the pile of used tissues sitting beside Rose. Every few minutes she coughed a dry, hacking cough that made his chest hurt in sympathy.

Their toddler’s condition didn’t improve overnight, but rather got worse, and when they took her to the pediatrician the next morning, they received the diagnosis of the flu. Upon hearing that, they asked Robert if he could keep Ainsley for a few days to hopefully keep her from getting infected.

They stopped at the store for toddler flu medicine and ingredients to make more soup for her, and they settled in to care for their sick child.

“I know you don’t feel well, sweetheart,” James whispered as Sianin cried in misery in his arms. Her fever was climbing again, but it was still an hour’s wait until James felt comfortable with giving her another dose of medicine. “I know. I’m so sorry. Daddy’s so sorry. Daddy wishes he could take it all away.”

James took a few days off of work to help Rose look after their child. When the worst of it passed, he returned to work and Rose continued to work from home. She completely understood that Sianin couldn’t go to daycare while ailing from the flu, but it was quite inconvenient to have to try to get her work done while trying to soothe a sick baby.

Sianin’s fever lasted for a week, impeding upon their Valentine’s Day dinner plans.

“One of these years we’ll be able to celebrate a Valentine’s Day on the fourteenth,” James teased as he brought a long stemmed rose home for his wife.

Rose snorted and accepted the rose with a soft kiss to his lips. After the girls went to bed for the night, James surprised Rose with a bubble bath and scented candles in their bathroom.

“Oh, you’re amazing,” she moaned, sinking deep into the hot water.

“I know,” he said smugly, climbing in behind her.

“Git.”

He hummed and wrapped his arms around her middle. But when his fingers wandered lower down her belly, she grabbed his wrist.

“Sorry, love, but I am exhausted,” she said.

He immediately returned his hands to her stomach and he pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

“Don’t apologize,” he said. “You’ve been home with a flu-ridden toddler all week. Of course you’re exhausted. We can rain check to whenever we get around to going out for dinner.”

She leaned back against him and let her eyes flutter shut as she relaxed in the steaming water. When he heard her let out a soft snore, he decided taking a nap in the bath probably wasn’t the safest idea, and so he gently roused her and helped her to bed.

After another week, Sianin was back to being the happy, energetic child they knew and loved. While it was sometimes tiresome to keep up with her, James and Rose were so happy that their almost three-year-old was feeling better. They were also happy that they could finally get around to their dinner date they’d had to postpone.

They had to admit it was nice to have Robert so close. They no longer had to plan a date night way in advance, nor did they have to drive forty minutes to drop their kids off for a sleepover with Grandad.

They had a nice dinner out at a new restaurant that just opened across town. The place was somewhat busy when they arrived, but James had put his name in so they didn’t have to endure the thirty-minute wait that other patrons had.

The wine was good and the food was excellent. All of the tabletops were adorned with a light lavender tablecloth, and with the flickering candle set in the middle and the dim overhead lights, a gentle, romantic ambience was set for their meal.

James caught Rose humming along to the music playing overhead. When he concentrated, he finally realized that the restaurant was playing instrumental pieces of modern radio songs.

They ended their date by sharing dessert, as always, and left the restaurant arm in arm, feeling warm and full.

“That was really good,” James said as he guided Rose to their car.

“Mhm,” she agreed.

James opened the door for her and when she was settled in her seat, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. Heat pooled lazily in his belly as her hands went to his hair to keep him where he was. They were in one of their longer dry spells—minus the ones after Rose had given birth—and James was eager to go home and make love with his wife.

When they got home, Rose excused herself to the loo, telling him she had a surprise for him. He eagerly waited for her in their bedroom, always loving when she told him before having sex that she had a surprise. She looked great in anything—or nothing—but he couldn’t deny that he loved when she went out and bought new lingerie. She knew exactly what he liked best.

As he waited for her to get changed, he pulled off his shoes and socks, then he took everything out of his pockets. He tossed his wallet onto the bedside table, then fumbled with his phone for a minute to silence it. Nothing broke the mood quite like a phone alert. But as he went to mute the sound, he saw the notification ‘ovulation in two days’ pop up at the top of the screen. Something in his in belly clenched uncomfortably tight.

“Your phone can’t possibly be sexier than me.”

James jumped and set his mobile face-down on the bedside table. He turned and his mouth went dry when he saw Rose was wearing a dark blue chemise that wasn’t quite sheer enough to give him a good view of her body, but it was skimpy enough that he knew she wasn’t wearing anything else beneath it. The fitted, built-in bra pushed her breasts up and the hem of the chemise tickled her upper thighs, just barely hiding her from his gaze.

“You look amazing,” he whispered, feeling his pulse throbbing behind the zipper of his trousers.

Rose stepped up to him and caught him in a hot and sloppy kiss before she pushed him back onto their bed and crawled on top of him.

They giggled as they continued trying to displace the other from topping and as they attempted to get James out of his trousers, shirt, and pants without sitting up off the bed. They finally got sufficiently naked, with Rose keeping the chemise on but it had been tugged down far enough that her breasts were exposed.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” he rasped as she took him inside of her. He settled his hands at her waist, enjoying the slippery feeling of the fabric as he squeezed her hips.

“So are you,” she said, setting a slow rhythm for them.

She leaned down and caught his lips in a lazy kiss as she continued moving on top of him. Her movements felt good, as always, and James was content to let her set the pace. He always loved it when they took their time making love, because it was a long and slow buildup and their orgasms often caught them off guard.

That was what happened this time. James grunted in surprise as he felt the knot of pleasure clench and then release. He hugged her hips close to him as he gasped out her name and spilled himself inside her.

When it ended, he flopped onto his back and breathed slowly, enjoying the gentle pulses of pleasure still rolling through his body. He heaved out a sigh and made a noise of dissatisfaction when he felt Rose lift up off him and settle herself beside him.

His brain finally cleared of the orgasmic haze it was in and he rolled over to face her.

“I believe I left you hanging,” he prompted.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and caught her lips in an unhurried kiss as his other hand wandered between her thighs. It took only a minute before Rose whimpered her release against his mouth and arched her back in pleasure.

While James loved it when he made Rose come first, he couldn’t deny he enjoyed this unobstructed view of his wife in the throes of ecstasy. He loved seeing her brows furrow as she squeezed her eyes shut, and the way she bit into her bottom lip as she crested before her mouth relaxed as she moaned.

James worked her down slowly, pressing soft kisses to her lips, cheek, and jaw. When she let out a sated groan, he slipped his fingers out of her and popped them into his mouth to clean them.

“That was nice,” she murmured, curling up into his side.

He held her close to him and buried his face in her hair.

“Mhm. It was a nice date night, even postponed two weeks,” he whispered. He absently pressed a kiss to the top of her head as his mind wandered. His phone had reminded him of Rose’s ovulation in just two days. They would be making love again for the next few days. Hopefully this month would be the month they succeeded, and he finally made a baby with her.

<-- Ch5 | Ch7 -->

[wanderlustwonderlots]

Paris - Day 4 (Giverny)

Today wasn’t really a Paris day, but in fact a day trip to Vernon/Giverny, to see Monet’s gardens!  I did this on my last full day in France on my last trip, but I actually never blogged about it, because I was exhausted after arriving back from my trip and never got around to it.  Not to worry, I’ll wax on about this year’s trip here!

It was a slightly early rise and a quick trip to the train station to catch the train to Vernon, about an hour and a half ride.  Had we missed this we would have been in trouble, with only one train in the morning and one in the evening! We got there with time to spare but it was a very full train so ended up not sitting all together.  I spent the ride writing up my last blog post on my phone, so it was time well spent.  I suppose I could have been looking out at the scenery, but I’d already done the ride once before and landscapes are just landscapes after a while.  Since I was well occupied, the ride flew by and soon enough we were in Vernon.  Right after walking out of the train station we came upon the “Petit Train de Giverny,” an adorable little car with multiple segments done up to look like a tiny train.  We could have taken the bus from Vernon to Giverny, which takes the same time and is only a few euros more expensive, but I knew the petit train! I took it two years ago and it was so funny and cute so I had been talking it up to my parents.  We got our tickets, hopped on, and drove past the line of suckers waiting for the shuttle bus.  The petit train takes you through the town of Vernon, and there’s an audio tour broadcasted through the cars that tells you about the history and significance of the town.  I couldn’t tell you much about it because a lot of the time historical information flies right out of my head, but it was a town tossed back and forth between the English and the French during various wars, it had a beautiful cathedral and remnants of an old mill and castle. The guide also of course had lots to say about the artists that loved Vernon and nearby Giverny.  

It was an overcast morning and I was most definitely not dressed for the weather so I was mighty chilly on the ride over (in just a t-shirt and skirt), but shortly after we arrived in Giverny, 20 minutes later, blue skies had begun to start appearing.  Our plan was thus to start with the Musée des Impressionnismes and after that move on to Monet’s gardens, hoping that it would be sunny by then.  We walked up through the town and were greeted by gorgeous hedged gardens outside the museum.  As I read on a sign later, the gardens were actually designed by an architect, I believe the same one that designed the museum, though I could be mistaken.  Designed in 1991, the gardens are arranged by monochromatic plots, retaining their colour schemes throughout various blooming seasons.  One of the gardens was entirely herbs and aromatic plants, including thyme, basil, chives, mint, basil, rhubarb, greens, you name it!  We could run our hands through the plants and smell them after to take in all the different herbs.  It was nice to already be surrounded by nature, just walking around the town.  Even the residents’ small gardens, rose trees, and flowers lining the streets were beautiful.

In the museum was an exhibit on Japanese-inspired impressionism, showing pieces of Japanese art such as prints, sketches, and paintings that inspired French impressionists, as well as their works that followed these “exotic” styles.  As much as I love impressionism, I don’t know much about its history, so had no idea that Japanese art was such a big influence on some of my favourite painters - Monet, Van Gogh, Caillbotte, Pissarro, Degas, to name a few.  I just find the style to be so enrapturing.  Seeing this side of French Impressionist history was really interesting.  

At the end of the museum was a special exposition on Hiramatsu Reiji, a Japanese artist who was in turn inspired by Monet’s paintings and his water garden.  He saw Monet’s art in a museum in Paris and decided to plan a trip around the countryside that Monet painted so much.  The pieces in this exposition were of the water lilies, through a definite Japanese eye.  I thought it was fascinating to see the inspiration come full circle, and Hiramatsu’s work was stunning, with so many bright colours and patterns, and vibrant, shiny golds.

Leaving the museum we finished exploring the surrounding gardens and headed down the picturesque road to Monet’s property.  Thankfully at the museum we had bought a combined ticket and were able to skip the long, long line to get into Monet’s.  Th town and its tourist points were SO much more crowded than the last time I was there!  Granted, I had gone in mid-August, and this had turned out to be a beautiful sunny day in May on a long weekend, so people had come from all over.  To be honest, the crowds spoiled the experience slightly, but I really can’t complain even a little bit when I’m in one of my favourite places that I’ve ever been to. Besides, the more people that get to experience the magic of the place, the better.

We started with the water gardens.  It was too early to see all of the water lilies, though I think we found 3 total that had bloomed! Last time I was too late, and this time too early, so I’ll just have to come a third time to catch them.  The lily pads were still just as amazing to see, strewn across the pond in their little floral flotillas. I got to explore the surrounding gardens like they were new to me because so many different flowers and trees were in bloom.  There were explosions of colour everywhere, making every ten steps a new scene of smells and sights. I took so many photos and still nothing can come close to showing how calm and enchanting the waterscapes and landscapes are.  Pinks and purples and reds around every bend, wisteria like streamers overhead, tall bamboo rustling and clacking together, foxglove and lupins vibrant among other flowers, lush greens brushing against your legs, willows so long and graceful, blowing in the breeze and nearly skimming the pond.  And amidst it all, birdsong carrying over the hum of people, a reminder that this spot is a celebration of nature herself.  

Being in this place makes me so happy that I could cry.  Seeing what Monet envisioned, brought to life, and then painted gave me goosebumps and put the most serene smile on my face. I took my sweet time despite the constant stream of people going through the gardens as well, and spent as long as I wanted to taking it all in, looking at all of the blooms and the bees working hard to pollinate them.  I’ll be damned if I’m going to be rushed through this.  After we felt we had experienced the water gardens to the fullest, we crossed back over to the gardens outside Monet’s cottage.  

The most striking thing about these gardens was the amount of irises they contained.  So many different varieties, each seeming to smell sweeter than the last.  A deep, silky purple that was near black; pale blue with a dark stripe down the middle of each petal; sunny yellow so joyful; pure white, and white with rich purple petals; soft lavender.  There were also more types of poppies than I have ever seen! My mom was so happy to see both of these abundances of flowers, two of her favourites.  The many different roses added even more sweetness to the air.  All the colours and smells in the hot, early summer air could almost transport me away from the throngs of people around me. These gardens are so well cultivated and maintained, and I have a lot of respect for the groundskeepers that make this place the slice of paradise that it is.  I really consider myself blessed to be able to come here twice now, and feel completely content, absolutely full of wonder.  I don’t know that anything will ever compare to how I feel when I’m in these gardens.  Maybe that sounds like an overstatement, but it’s true. I hope that the way I write about it helps to convey exactly how dreamy the gardens are, and how much they mean to me.

We decided not to go into Monet’s cottage, as the line was extremely long, and we wanted to have lunch before making our way back to the petit train and Vernon.  There was only one train to Paris, so we absolutely had to make it.  The benches around the core part of the town were in high demand and we wanted a shady spot for lunch, so we settled on some grass beneath a nice thicket of trees to eat the baguette and cheese we packed.  We had some fruit earlier in the day, after the museum, but this was a much needed respite from the people to sit down in the shade and recharge.  A bird was watching us for most of our little lunch, and my mom kept tossing it tiny morsels of bread and cheese so it could join us.  I know, not the best thing to do, but it was so cute and came so close to us!  We finished our lunch with the bird, packed up, and headed back to wait for the petit train.

The trip back to Vernon was a bit stressful because we were damn close to the train’s departure, and both the petit train and the big train back to Paris were packed full, but we made it.  After getting into Paris we picked up some ravioli and salad to have for dinner at home, to which we invited Etienne.  It was a lovely supper at home after having a lot of meals out, which I appreciated.  We had a nice red wine to drink, along with a crisp cider, and a few beers to finish.  Quite the lushes!  Mostly we were trying to finish everything we had in the fridge before our departure to the south of France.  In any case, it ended up being a great evening, concluded with a board game of course.  We said goodbye to Etienne until next weekend (when he’ll kindly pick us up from the train station in Dijon to go to his parents’ house), and packed up our things for our flight the next day.

It was a wonderful day to wrap up our short time in Paris, and another experience I won’t forget.  I hope you enjoyed reading about today’s adventure, and got a glimpse into how I feel about nature and about Monet.  Next up is the south of France!

[tsghuntsvillealabama]

#STAYCONNECTED HUNTSVILLE || Corners of My Home

With the days of social distancing, self quarantining and stay at home orders seemingly stretching out into a blur, it honestly feels good to pour some of that attention and energy into where we hang our hats, and where our hearts are. Home cannot be merely defined as the four walls you are sitting within right now. It is that almost tangible warm feeling when you plop into your favorite chair, the smell of fresh baked cookies wafting from your kitchen, your dog or cat coming into check on you at your home office, reading a book with glass of wine in a bubblebath, or even the smile that spreads across your face when you see that framed picture of family from years ago hanging next to that artwork you bought on your last vacation. Home is filled with laughter, favorite colors, reminders, collections, light and the little nooks we love. It is in those beautiful corners that we are most at home. 

We asked some members to share with us their favorite corners of their homes in hopes they would inspire you in your own home. Here they are in their own words! 

Beverly Farrington || Accents of the South

A master bedroom usually sits by itself away from all the hustle and bustle from the rest of the house. For me, it is a space that’s quiet, thoughtful, introspective and intimate. My bedroom is a place I can retreat to, it is my own personal and quite space where I can gather my thoughts , take a warm relaxing bath in, pamper myself in by reading a good book or just a place where I am all alone to paint my toe nails.

This space allows me to prepare myself for the day and to rest at night.  For me the soft taupe and blush colors are relaxing and tranquil. Everyone needs this kind of space in their home and one of the most rewarding parts of my job is being able to create  this feeling of rejuvenation and well being for my clients as well. 

Though this part of the house is quiet, it is also very warm and inviting. It is the soft taupe walls, Gossamer Veil by Sherwin Williams that help to give it that feel. I love pink, so I worked in a pale shrimp to accent the room. It is found in the chairs and art. I anchored the room with light taupe, grey and off white which can all be found in the Oushak rug. The lamps are the whimsical pop in the room with the polished brass daisies that rise gracefully from their marble bases.

So many of you have asked to see the before and after of my kitchen, well here it is, the master bath. The original kitchen was too small for today’s kitchen, it wasn’t in a bad spot in the house but I needed this space to complete the master suite. It all worked out well. It had large windows across the back, that we replaced to be even larger ones. They give great light to the space with their Southeastern view. Facing a private courtyard they can be open most the time. The marble floating tub is the focal point in the space with these beautiful windows as it’s back drop.

A large walk-in shower was created by using part of an old corridor and the toilet fits neatly into a space that was used as the previous pantry. We also were able to keep an existing exterior door that now flows seamlessly to a new terrace and courtyard. We finished out the space with white Italian Statuary marble and of course I added a touch of pink in the long flowing draperies.

Read more about Beverly on our blog and see more fantastic photos of Beverly’s Master bedroom suite on her Accents of the South Journal. And more from her Home Bound Series: Foyer Home Tour and Kitchen Home Tour.

Louisa DiLeone || Bloom Counseling

This corner of my home feels like spring. I filled it with all the things I love - lilacs from my garden, pieces from my favorite artist, bird decor, and the color purple! I’m so inspired by nature and find that bringing the look indoors creates a fresh and joyful feel.

Ashley and Andy Vaughn || White Rabbit Studios & Vertical House Records

Listen to Ashley and Andy’s latest Scouted playlist, while you tour their home...

Kitchen window: the naked lady vase came from our first home - we found it in the back of a cabinet and I think the previous homeowner made it! The gargoyle and cute house are made by a NOLA artist (Tamar Taylor) that we got from one of our favorite restaurants, Surrey's. The sun underneath the house was from a market in Italy. Inside the naked lady vase are garlic chive flowers from our garden (yum!) The little baby came out of a king cake, and the other trinkets were found at estate sales. I think we purchased the hanging pot form an artist at the Monte Sano art show!

Kitchen: a vintage stove was at the house when we started restoring the property, so we let that define the space and style of the room!

Garden herb spiral: our garden gives us so much! We spend a lot of time in the yard and allow for our kitties to join us supervised. They have their own favorite spots too! In the herb spiral you can see the hint of lavender at the top which is great for headaches, anxiety, and is an antimicrobial! Growing next to it with it's vibrant shade of green is lemon balm, which is fabulous for it's properties to help calm the nervous system and acts as an antiviral - great for a racing heart and to help reduce nervous feelings...also tastes YUMMY!  One of our kitties, Maple, is resting next to bee balm (before its showy flowers have bloomed) which has antimicrobial, antispasmodic, and anti-inflammatory properties. You can also see a peek of sage behind Maple. Sage's key actions are wonderful: antiseptic, astringent, clears mucus, nerve tonic, and estrogenic. Such a great versatile herb to have! Our garden grows over 30 beneficial, organic herbs that I use to make tea blends, tinctures, and vinegars. Studying herbalism has given me so much more respect for plants - in fact, we let a lot of the wild plants grow in the yard that most people consider weeds! Purple dead nettle, henbit, chickweed, cleavers, violets, shepard's purse - all of those have wonderful properties!

Dining room Apothecary: I’m studying herbalism and as soon as a started the venture, I knew I had to have an apothecary! This shot was in the beginning, and now it’s packed with teas, tinctures, and dried herbs from the garden!

Kelly Butler || K Butler Interiors 

I love this simple spot in our home because of the colorful art and personality each piece represents - A few happy landscapes, paintings of our previous homes, even an abstract piece by one of our children. Gallery walls are a fun way to let your home tell a story!

Suzanne Carlisle || Golden Griffin

I love the dimension in this starburst mirror paired with a more clean-lined lamp and Italian style chest. On top of the chest is a particularly cherished piece—a hand painted box of a landscape with a gorgeous gold-leaf edge and bottom by artist Julie Robinson. I also collect abstract nude art. This framed piece one of many around my house.

If I collect anything it’s antique religious items! This bookcase in my master bedroom holds some of my favorite things: A collection of metal religious figures, handmade jeweled crosses and crowns atop antique bottles, and a stack of vintage Italian Florentine boxes (also a weakness of mine)! 

I think this foyer nook gives more great insight into my style. Some of my favorite art by Julie Robinson, a local Huntsville artist, hangs on the original 1907 plaster staircase wall. And then there are the pretty pieces on the table—an antique carved religious figure in one of my favorite colors, pink!—An antique Italian lamp with new gold leaf shade (I’m a lover of all things gold!)—and then bejeweled tiara atop candlestick. I love layering with little unexpected add ons! 

Brandeis Short || Pillar & Peacock

Master Bath Tub:  I have really enjoyed my tub during this stay at home time. I have been “treating” myself with a bath, a good book and a glass of wine! I can have some quiet time to myself! Paper is by Galbraith & Paul, light fixtures by Visual Comfort.

Nook in the Living Room:  this chair makes me super happy and really defines my love for color and pattern. A retro caned wingback found in my mother in law’s garage was brought back to life with Schumacher’s Chang Mai Dragon. Some of my favorite design books propped onto a very multipurpose indoor/outdoor martini stool from West Elm. 

Side Front Porch:  I can’t say enough about this this space. Thank GOD our porches were finished prior to this pandemic. We had them re-built and I was dying without them. They are a true extension of our home and possibly my favorite space in our whole house. I LOVE puzzles and have become a little spoiled and now only like doing Liberty Puzzles (wood) now! I have had one going on my game table inside and one on this outdoor porch. 

Front Porch (off of Living Room):  This is my reading porch. I love to sit out here and either listen to music or read. I am reading Harry Potter to my youngest right now! 

Game Table in Living Room:  I sit here often with a glass of wine. Just starting this puzzle that my husband gave last year for my birthday. It's a custom one of the girls in front of our Paris Air BnB's Apartment Doors. Dreaming of traveling! Behind is an antique armoire, a painting by a local Florence artist and some art books. 

Marianne Cook Windham || Windham Travel and Leisure

This is our office. Our home office was added specifically for our businesses back in 2007. We started Windham Entertainment the summer of 2004; and I started Windham Travel & Leisure the fall of 2005. Since we first added the office, we had done very little as far as updating. This January, I was already looking at paint colors, etc., and we were going to "get around" to doing a "refresh and revive". As it turned out, with the shelter at home order, I pushed myself to make quick and simple changes in order to create a more inspiring and happy work space. (Notice the gigantic bean bag-we cannot forget about the comfort of our fur babies.) Since the first week in March, my travel agency has been operating mostly in response to and at the mercy of the continually changing chaos and unknowns with Covid-19 in the current world situation. So making positive improvements and being 100% in control of my immediate surroundings has been immensely uplifting and gratifying for me.

Our bedroom has evolved into a space that we really enjoy. We love the warm walls and curtains and shears covering our double sliding glass doors out to a private courtyard. We created a built-in look from two chest of drawers, shelving, boards and molding, staining them all the same color as the chest of drawers. We attached lighting underneath and have rope lighting across the top of the molding. The purple valance was given to me as an extra from an antique store In Fayetteville Tennessee that we purchased several pieces of furniture from. I have always been fond of peacocks and their beautiful colors. 

My husband Darin is over 6’4”, and all of his life he’s been given different giraffe pieces. We even have a champagne colored pencil tree that is completely themed out with giraffe ornaments that we leave up all year. Love the ambience it adds to the mood year round. And we dream of going on an African safari in the next couple of years. It is a bucket list dream of ours! At some point we just decided we need to put all these things in one room and so here we are—giraffe art pieces and figures, peacocks, an elaborate purple valance and some added teal sequined shears for extra sparkle. Kind of a “boudoir safari” style. What would you call that? Boudoiari? Ha! May not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s unique to us; and we love it...and so do our doggies (leopard dog beds not pictured). Sweet dreams!

[passionate-baker]

Exploring Copenhagen, Denmark

This coming September, I will have known one of my best friends for twelve years. That’s half of my lifetime &, I would say, a rather impressively long time to still enjoy another person’s company. We’ve spent a heck of a lot of time together during our twelve years, so much so that our teachers used to make comments to our parents about us being glued together at the hip. That’s normal though, right? Our school days went like this: if one of us wanted to go somewhere, then the other followed suit. Even now, years after school has ended, we can usually be found together most of the time. Probably the biggest example of this was that time I decided to walk across Spain on the Camino de Santiago & I didn’t even really have to convince her into coming with me, she just did. 

As far as I can remember, we’ve journeyed abroad no less than nine times together, & visited a total of seventeen cities, not including travelling within Ireland. Quite frankly, I think she’s a keeper. 

A few months ago, we realised that it had been close to three years since our last trip abroad together. This was enough to prompt us to start looking up flights, accommodation, cities etc. Spain, Croatia, Poland? Denmark? Denmark stuck, & everything fell perfectly into place for Copenhagen. It was decided. 

The Danish capital is one of the most beautiful cities I’ve ever been in, & I speak for the two of us when I say with absolute certainty that we loved every single second of our time there. We spent (nearly) all day every day being amazed by the beauty around every single corner. Cobbled streets, pastel painted buildings, rose bushes, bikes as far as the eye can see, cinnamon rolls, amazing coffee, beautiful Danish people everywhere (why is everyone so blonde & perfect in Denmark!?), quirky parks & statues, an incredible atmosphere, & an overall sense of calmness & safety. I know that last one sounds a little bizarre, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt so safe in a city - everyone just seems so laid back & casual. 

Heaps of photos & recommendations on where to go, what to do, where to drink, & where to eat below!

Stay 

Copenhagen Downtown Hostel // this is the same place I stayed the first time I visited Copenhagen, and I still loved it this time ‘round. It’s a casual chilled out kind of place & the staff are super lovely. We stayed in a 4-bed female only dorm during our stay & it was perfect for what we needed - it was quiet & clean & cozy. Added bonus: you get a free dinner thrown in when you book through their website & also the alcohol is gloriously cheap. 

Do

The Round Tower // this was one of the things that somehow eluded me on my first trip to Copenhagen a couple of years ago, so I was pretty eager to visit the tower this time around. It turned out to be one of our most favourite things that we did during our time in the city, we completely loved it. The price of a ticket is dirt cheap - something like 3 euro - and it is beyond worth it. Instead of the usual pain of having to climb up a billion steps on a tight spiraling staircase, the path to the top of the Tower is a welcoming spiral slope. 

Rosenborg Palace // the whole truth: we only wandered down to Rosenborg Palace because we spied it from the top of The Round Tower & thought it was high time we visited a pretty garden. Wandering into the gardens is like wandering into a movie scene set in Paris - there’s something about the roofs of the surrounding buildings and the people picnicking with glasses of rosé & baguettes and the other people celebrating a birthday with bunting wrapped from tree to tree that just makes it all feel so surreal in the best way ever. During our walk of the grounds we came across the royal guard about to make their journey over to Amelienborg Palace for the changing of the guard.

Amelienborg Palace // we didn’t plan on paying to visit the inside of the palace - although I’m sure it’s worth it - so we planned our day around going to see the changing of the guards, which happens on the grounds of the residence every day at noon. The (what look like) toy soldiers come marching into the centre of the square & slowly make their way around to each of the four houses to change guards while the crowds excitedly snap away. Coincidentally, the day we decided to visit was also the King & Queen’s 50th wedding anniversary, so the place was extra jammed with people! 

Botanical Gardens // it was maybe definitely a bad idea for us visit the Botanic Gardens when we did, as there was four too many drinks the previous night & the sheer heat inside the glasshouse nearly killed us both. It’s this huge big beautiful old greenhouse that makes you feel like you’re walking through the forest & there’s this gorgeous cast-iron spiral staircase that leads you up to a top level so you can walk amongst the super tall plants (which was definitely the worst idea we had ever because there was even less air up there). After our glasshouse experience we spent some time breathing in some quality fresh air in the gardens, which were most delightful. 

Krusemyntegade // you might find yourself wondering why on earth I’m recommending you visit a random road well out of the city. Well, if you’re anything like me (or half of the other people on Instagram), then this is definitely a road you’ll want to see. We affectionately started to refer to it as Instagram Road - pastel colours as far as the eye can see, roses crawling up the side of nearly every house, bikes parked nonchalantly all over the place, & an odd bench here & there for sitting back & taking it all in. It’s basically Copenhagen’s version of St. Luke’s Mews.

The Little Mermaid // what trip to Copenhagen would be complete without getting to visit The Little Mermaid? She’s located a bit further afield than most of the other attractions, but just think of it as a Hans Christian Anderson type pilgrimage. Of course, the statue is a huge attraction in the city, so don’t expect to have her all to yourself - I took five photos during our time there: in three of the photos it looks like she’s being attacked by a swarm of tourist canoe boat-ers, there are some miscellaneous heads popping up in two of them, & in the last one she’s (rather rudely) having her nipple tweaked by some drunken man.

Agnete & the Merman // you have to hunt this statue down - it is so cool! It’s a group of statues under the water at Slotsholm Canal & it never ceases to fascinate me. Hard to see on a sunny day, but so worth checking out. 

Nyhavn // we were pretty lucky during our visit, because we had to walk through Nyhavn basically anytime we wanted to get anywhere. There’s something magical about this old harbour - there’s jazz music & a nice atmosphere in the air at all times. It’s also one of those places you just have to visit to get that quintessential Copenhagen photo. 

Canal Tour // this was my second time doing a canal tour in Copenhagen & even this time around I loved every second. Our canal tour left from Nyhavn, where there are a couple of companies offering different routes. We did the standard one that brought us out & around Christianshavn, as well as past a few of the main attractions - Amelienborg Palace, the Opera House, the Black Diamond Library, & The Little Mermaid. 

Tivoli Gardens // a whole day out that is totally worth the money. There are (I think) a few different options for tickets, but we bought a band that gave us entry into the gardens, which means that you can sit around & relax & watch whatever ballet or folk dancing that happens to be on at the open air stages and also gave us unlimited rides on every ride in the park. The gardens themselves have peacocks roaming free, fairy lights strewn overhead, & plenty of restaurants, cafes, & bars to keep everyone happy. We spent our day working our way through the map of the rides, going back to the ones we liked 2-5 times (getting our money’s worth), drinking beer, watching ballet, & exploring the (small but cool) aquarium. 

Magstræde // no, this is not just another beautifully photogenic street, it is the oldest surviving street in Copenhagen. The street (which still has its original cobbling!) was two seconds from where we were staying, & we were entirely unable to pass up an opportunity to walk down it at every chance we had. 

Drink

Original Coffee // confession: good coffee shops are the first thing I investigate when planning my trips away. Original Coffee was top of my list, & we certainly weren’t disappointed. Added bonus: the branch at Illum shopping centre is located on the top floor, so you can sit outside & watch the world go by beneath you. 

Espresso Roasters // admittedly, the only reason we stopped into ER was because we had been traipsing all over town looking for a coffee shop that was meant to do the best cinnamon rolls ever, but we couldn’t find it & we were totally desperate & on the verge of becoming hangry. Turns out that the cinnamon rolls here are fab! Heated ever so slightly & perfectly spiced.

Husted Vin // we didn’t actually get to go to Husted Vin, but I’m adding it to the list because I want you to go & tell me how it is. Typically, the one day we had planned to go there it was closed, but it had been open every single time we’d walked past previously. 

Biergarten @ Tivoli Gardens // I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again: I have this thing with Germany, which pretty much means I love all things German, especially beer & pretzels. I’m only a little bit ashamed to tell you that we visited the Beirgarten twice during the handful of hours we spent at the Gardens - both times indulging in a 1/2 litre tankard of beer & just once devouring a hot freshly baked salty pretzel. We regret nothing. Added bonus: going on roller-coasters a little tipsy is the most fun thing to do ever! 

Eat

Sonny // we walked past this hipster looking cafe on our way into the city on our first morning & immediately made plans to go back for breakfast the next day. The interior is gorgeous, the menu is full of health options (as is every other menu in Copenhagen), the music is very hipster-chic, & the coffee is wonderful. Added bonus: they offer a jasmine & orange iced tea, which is totally amazing & definitely a good choice. 

Atelier September // similar to Sonny, the menu is full of health. We both opted for the ‘Grapefruit & Blueberries with granola’ breakfast, which certainly left me feeling healthy. Luckily, they also had croissants & poppy seed danishes pumped full of butter to cancel out the health side of things, & for this we were truly grateful. It’s worth visiting here to see the space alone -- a gorgeous open room with communal tables & an open work station -- but also for the amazing coffee & mismatching ceramics. 

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[timegong8-blog]

Recent Non-Fashion Thrift Finds

Today, I thought I would write a little about my recent thrift finds and, in particular, those that fall outside the usual purview of this blog. Clothes and accessories will never not be at the top of my thrifting list, but I have been spending a lot more time lately looking for other treasures. Every 2-3 years, I go through a hard-core nesting phase – which is a relative thing, because I’m a homebody at heart in any event – when I divert most of my creative energy into my home. That time has come again, and I have been a busy thrifting bee. Let’s take a look at my more interesting, unusual or downright quirky finds, shall we?

Vintage Scarf Upcycled Project

I mentioned this in my previous post about our living room refresh, but it’s worth mentioning again because this was such an easy (and inexpensive) upcycling project with a big impact. This La Mendola (vintage, I think) scarf was a fabulous find for under $5 – pure silk, gorgeous pattern. Have I mentioned how much I love cacti?

I don’t wear silk scarves, but I knew I had to have this one because it was simply too beautiful to pass up. On the spot, I decided to treat it as a piece of art – which, in my eyes, it is – which meant getting it framed. After searching for an appropriate frame in thrift stores for a few weeks, with no success, I ended up getting a basic one from IKEA. We simply “sandwiched” the scarf between the Plexiglas front and the cardboard backing, because I didn’t want to risk damaging the fabric by pinning it down. We didn’t bother adding a mat; we used the (white) back of the stock photo that came with the frame as a makeshift mat, and it worked just fine. I think the slightly uneven borders add to its overall charm. From a distance, this looks like a poster; it’s kind of surreal, actually.

A quick tip for finding quality scarves: look for rolled edges. I used to think that meant edges that are doubled over and sewed nicely, but no. Rolled edges are very distinctive to the touch – sort of bubbly and quite bulky. You will know it as soon as you touch one. Every single expensive scarf I’ve thrifted – this one, Pucci, vintage DVF – has had a rolled edge.

Globe, With a Twist

I’m not sure if I mentioned it here before, but one of my more recent collections is globes. Sometime last year, I came across this photo when I was looking for bookcase inspo online. As one does. Ahem. I love anything map-related, and I was immediately smitten with the array of globes of varying shades of blue, and decided I needed this punch of colour in my own library. I have been slowly accumulating globes ever since, picking them up in thrift stores wherever I find them. This particular globe was $5 at VV, and was a very nice shade of blue:

It was only once I got home that I realized there was something different about it. Can you spot it?

Yup, my first Francophone globe.

Mantel Centerpiece

I tend not to thrift a ton of pictures, because my husband and I have generally divergent preferences when it comes to art unlike, say, interior design as a whole. He’s a die-hard for original art and I … just like looking at beautiful things. One of my favourite (thrifted) pictures is a reproduction of an old Picasso drawing:

I managed to “sneak” that one by him, and I also got this other repro accepted on the mantelpiece:

The larger painting behind it is an original piece from an artist friend, but there’s more to it than meets the eye: the original canvas was a mass-produced landscape I picked up at HomeSense years ago to hang in my then office. It was pretty bland and boring – the art version of elevator muzzak – and I was going to get rid of it when our friend asked if he could have some fun with it. My husband and I both loved the result, and during our recent living room refresh, we decided to make it the focal point of our fireplace.

Around the same time, I spotted the little “Rembrandt” and was drawn to its colour scheme, which echoed the colours on our mantelpiece. I thought it would provide a nice contrast/juxtaposition to the larger artwork, and I ended up buying it during a VV sale for something like $4 – a modest investment in case my husband balked at my idea. Which he did, initially. He hated it, in fact. But we argued talked it out, and eventually he sorta just … gave in. All I know is that the picture has been on the mantel for a good month, and hasn’t mysteriously disappeared yet.

Portrait of a Young Girl

Speaking of divisive items, this one was a doozy. This repro portrait of Bianca de Medici by Bronzino was love at first sight for me. Don’t ask me why; I know it’s maybe (more than) a little quirky, but I love it. (And I fell down a rabbit hole while researching it, which is one of my favourite ways to waste an evening or three, tbh). Love must have temporarily blinded me, because I bought it assuming that my husband would share my feelings. Not so much. He not only didn’t love it; he thought it was creepy.

Creepy?!

I like to think that I have a finely tuned creepiness meter – no dolls, puppets or clown paraphernalia for me, thanks – but this didn’t register at all, so his reaction took me by surprise. He was must have sensed my disappointment, and being the good husband that he is, he agreed to keep it around so that he might “acclimatize” to it. As of the writing of this post, we have not yet agreed on whether this can go up on a wall in the house, but I remain hopeful.

Update: it found a home!

Compromise

Makeshift Side Table

I love this little reading nook in the living room, but there is an electrical outlet that sticks out (visually) like a sore thumb. I initially wanted to hide it with a plant, but this spot doesn’t get a lot of light, which ruled out that option. As an alternative, I thrifted this large vase ($8) in a colour complementary to our overall palette, but it still looked out of proportion just sitting there on the floor. What would help is a little table, but it has to be just the right dimensions and style – and that is proving hard to find. In the meantime, I came up with an improvised solution: the stack-of-books-as-makeshift-table idea.

A half dozen or so large “coffee table” books later, and we had the right height. These are multi-functional; my husband and I love flipping through interior design books, so they are both furniture and entertainment in one. Most of them cost under $5 a piece, so it was an inexpensive solution to boot. Once we figure out what we’re doing with this nook on a permanent basis, the books will get re-homed in our new living room bookshelves or upstairs in the main library; no doubt, they will continue to inspire future DYI projects for many years to come.

Butterfly Terrarium

I love butterflies, but I had not come across butterfly terrariums until recently; first, in an interior design book, then on the Thrift Store Hauls sub-Reddit. Naturally, I became determined to thrift my very own. Thrifting for niche items is a long game, so I put it to the back of my mind. And then, out of the blue, I found one a few weeks later! It’s a small one, but it’s lovely:

I wanted to find it a good spot in the house right away, but none of the established “corners” of the house (like the mantel) suited it. So I made it its own spot on a previously-ignored ledge/shelf of the library.

This is all stuff I already had, except for the potted hoya which is a new addition to our growing plant family. I love moving things around every so often; it makes the house feel fresh without any major overhauls.

Have you found good stuff at the thrift store lately? Working on a cool upcycled project? Tell us all about it!

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« Style Avatars: A Progress Update

What I Wore: August 27-Sept 3, 2018 »

Source: http://bluecollarredlipstick.com/2018/09/recent-non-fashion-thrift-finds/

[luv-engineering]

Everything I had hoped and more! The only soap book I will ever need! I absolutely love this book! Not only are all of the soaps completely natural, but there are so many recipes and such a wide array of ingredients, that there is sure to be something for everyone. All of these recipes are also palm free, whooo hooo(sorry, a little excited)! The recipes range from beginner to advanced. The troubleshooting section is excellent (with photos too), describing every problem you can imagine. I'd have to say my absolute favorite part of this book is the natural colorant section. There is every shade you can imagine, no color was left out. What makes it amazing, are the pictures showing you the results of each colorant, and how much to use for which shade (for example blue cambrian clay can produce many shades from light blue to dark blue to grey, depending on how much clay is used). I love knowing that these recipes are tried and true, and the pictures are so very, very appealing to the eye. Every recipe has its own ingredients list, recipe, step by step instructions, photographs, and many of them also have step by step pictures along with the written instructions, and every soap has it's own final photo showing the results, which I love. She also goes over making designs in the soap with step by step instruction and photos. I've so far made the lavender milk soap and propolis dandelion soap, both came out perfect! My next soaping adventure is the amazing shaving soap recipe provided. It's dreamy, and I love that the author found an alternative to using stearic acid*,(*shave soap just isn't shave soap without it!). I'm not going to be a spoiler, you'll have to read the book to find out! I've been soaping for years and I really love having all these recipes laid out beautifully in a book. This book has so much more than I'd hope. I also love Jan Berry's other book, but I must say I love this one even more! If you're looking for the perfect all natural soap book, this is it! Even if you're experienced with soaping this book is sure to have many recipes for you! So many amazing recipes and combinations, so little time! I've added a few pics to show the awesome layout and the stunning photography of this book. I honestly love each and every recipe, they're all so well thought out, and you can tell a lot of research went into this book, as there is information on each and every ingredient used (and a section dedicated to describing ingredients and what their additions to soap provide, for example castor oil and coconut oil both enrich a soaps lather)! Being a visual person, I love the photos for each and every soap. It also assures me that each and every soap is tried and true, and not just a bunch of soap recipes thrown in a book. I also have the soap queens natural soap book, which is very, very advanced(not to mention you have to buy special molds for many of soap queens recipes).I like them both, but this one's my favorite due to ease of use and its just more my style, I'm a very natural, crunchy granola kinda girl lol. I definitely recommend this book, you won't be disappointed! (No palm oil is used in any recipe! Which overjoys me, as my sensitive skin hates palm oil or palm products!) All of the recipes are all natural and I simply cant go wrong with any of them! A+++ Jan Berry! Go to Amazon

Great for beginners in soapmaking! This book is a gem. I am a beginner in soapmaking and knew absolutely nothing before I got this book. It’s great at explaining important details, the why, the how and in a way that someone who has never done it before can understand. It touches on all important topics and gives you the base knowledge to start your soapmaking adventure. The recipes are simple and easy to follow. You will find very “basic” ones as well as a little more “advanced” if you would like to add scents, colors, infused oils, honey, milk, etc. it also goes over some basic color designs and stamping. This book has everything you need to start learning how to make your own soap. After making half a dozen soap batches, I was adventurous enough to make my own recipe since the book gives you a good base knowledge on how to make one yourself, substitutions and oil percentages. Absolutely love this book! Go to Amazon

A Wonderful Book Full of Palm Free Soap Recipes This is hands down the best soap making book that I have ever purchased! I think that pretty much every soap maker has seen the horrifying articles related to palm oil. They set me on a journey to find an eco friendly alternative. Unfortunately, I could not find a lot of viable options. That was until I purchased this book. Go to Amazon

beautiful photos, and easy to understand recipes This is a thoughtfully written book. Clear instructions, beautiful photos, and easy to understand recipes. The recipes she offers are not made with exotic oils that are hard to locate. She also offers substitutions ( if you don't have it) for oils she recommends in her recipes without changing the lye content. Go to Amazon

Jan knocks it out of the park A year ago I was looking for a print book on natural soapmaking & boy do I wish this book had been out then. It is all you need to get started. It covers both hot & cold process, has lots of vegan recipes but also some with lard & tallow, contains no recipes with palm oil due to environmental concerns, has great essential oil info & blends rather than info on fragrance oils, lots of plant-based & clay colorants but no FD&C dyes, and natural additives like honey, oatmeal & bee pollen. There is info on both infusing the oils with herbs and infusing milks with herbs for the milk soaps. All the instructions are clear & easy to understand, the photos are gorgeous & there is a troubleshooting section too. There are even a few simple swirling techniques. I just wish I could return the other 2 books I bought last year as neither was quite what I wanted and this book is exactly what I was looking for. Go to Amazon

A Beautiful, Thorough book for Soap Makers This is a gorgeous book filled with so many wonderful soap recipes that I can hardly decide which to decide first. She starts with basics and works up to trickier ingredients and techniques. Her detailed instructions make even a novice capable of producing a good bar of soap. The best part for me is that there is a picture for every soap recipe, so you know what your soap is supposed to look like. She even has pictures of various colored soaps at various stages of cure, so that you know what a finished product will be like, allowing the soap maker to choose the amount of colorant to get the desired color. Go to Amazon

Book was a good read. The soap process is a bit more complicated. Disappointed Excellent book " I LOVE this book Five Stars Great book for beginners and for great recipes for experienced people too. She uses it regularly for ideas and recipes and says it's her favorite soaping reference This is by far the best soap making book I've come across Amazing resource Two Stars

[jeremystrele]

A Florist’s Lush Inner City Garden

A Florist’s Lush Inner City Garden

Gardens

by Georgina Reid

Sean  Cook didn’t want flowers in his garden, he wanted texture and lots of green. Photo – Daniel Shipp.

Sean loves pots! Most of these pots are either from Garden Life or sourced from Sean in his travels. Photo – Daniel Shipp.

The zig zag cactus (Selenicereus chrysocardium) creates a dramatic effect draping down concrete retaining walls and contrasting with the upright foliage of mother-in-laws tongue (Sansevieria trifasciata) behind. Photo – Daniel Shipp.

Sean Cook and Michael Bright’s inner city Sydney garden connects seamlessly to the house. Photo – Daniel Shipp.

Florist Sean Cook in the garden with Oskar and Hooper. Photo – Daniel Shipp.

Bluestone steppers planted with native violet (Viola hederaceae) and kidney weed (Dichondra repens) provide a simple foil for abundant greenery. Photo – Daniel Shipp.

Sean stumbled across this striking cactus (Cereus peruvianus ‘Monstrose’) whilst on a buying trip for a floristry job. Photo – Daniel Shipp.

Plectranthus (Plectranthus ciliatus cvs.). Photo – Daniel Shipp.

‘Plants and flowers are my medium. I love their colours, textures and form,’ says florist Sean Cook. We’re sitting in the living room of his Redfern home, embraced by bright white walls dripping with art. It’s a colourful and exuberant space, and whilst the art is incredible, the garden is where my eyes settle. It’s one big, green, artwork.

Sean and his partner Matthew Bright bought the property around five years ago. They soon undertook a major renovation on the house, and one day, upon arriving on site to check on the construction progress, they realised what had existed of the previous garden was completely trashed. ‘We decided then and there that we needed to do it properly and start right away, whilst the construction was going on. I have known landscape designer Richard Unsworth of Garden Life for a long time, and at that time his shop was just around the corner. ‘I called him and said, “Richard come down and help!”‘

‘Our brief to Richard was to keep it very loose and natural. We wanted stairs leading out from the house and I wanted a mirror on the back wall and a fishpond.’ Unlike the multi-coloured nature of the house interior, Sean wanted a monotonal garden. ‘I wanted an all green garden. There’s lots of colour in the house and I wanted the garden to counterbalance its exuberance. Also, I love green. Green and pink are my two favourite colours.’

Sean came to plants via school holiday visits to his grandmother in Parkes, in central western NSW. ‘She had a fernery attached to her house and it was such a magical place. There were native orchids and ferns and hoyas, and a pond filled with tadpoles. I suppose that’s where my love affair with plants and gardening started,’ he says.

Picking flowers from the backyard of his childhood home in Strathfield for his primary school teachers was the next step in Sean’s plant evolution. ‘I used to make bouquets for my teachers from our garden. What a crawler I was! I stopped giving my teachers flowers in high school, though. I couldn’t wait to leave.’

It’s inevitable, then, that Sean ended up as a florist. After working in visual merchandising and events, he cut his floral teeth with Saska Havekes of Grandiflora for 14 years, before starting his own business, Mr Cook, seven years ago. He tells me he loves the theatre of creating big installations, and the beauty and exuberance flowers and plants can bring to a space.

His garden, whilst relatively flower free, has a similar sense of energy and drama. ‘It’s all a bit wild, and crazy and generous,’ he says. He loves collecting pots and plants in his wanderings, and seems to always be able to fit just one more plant in, particularly if it’s got meaning. ‘My grandmother had a big staghorn in her fernery, so when Richard sent me a photo of another gorgeous one, we had to find a space for it. I already had two, but I needed to find a home for it.’

The garden is now two years old. ‘I can’t believe how much it’s grown! It’s surprisingly self-maintaining, though I do love pottering around in it,’ Sean says. His garden is a great example of the value of creating an oasis of green in the inner city.

[vincentbnaughton]

That Time We Thought The Bedroom Would Simmer For A While, And Then Bam.

We mentioned some recent master bedroom movin’ & shakin’ on this week’s podcast, so we thought a post full of photos was in order for anyone wondering how it’s looking these days. Pretty much everything in our bedroom was purchased while we were living in our second house, so after moving here in 2013 stuff just kinda landed where it landed and whoop, there it was. We painted. We hung frames. We made a few sporadic dresser swaps, and then we repainted. But the anchor pieces like the rug, the bed, the armchair, and most of the other furnishings pretty much remained the same. More recently we got a super on-sale chandelier and swapped beds with the guest room and it felt like the room was nicely settling into feeling “nearly-done.” Basically, we were fully expecting to go back to ignoring this corner of the house for at least a few more years.

And then it happened. A total bedroom curveball. My friend texted me a gorgeous picture of a rug she came across in a local consignment shop. YES, A CONSIGNMENT SHOP. And I fell hard. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Rug love at first sight. I’m pretty sure you could have seen little cartoon angels flying around my head holding bow and arrows when I ran up to John with that dazed-looking cheeks-flushed expression and said “remember how we’ve always said it would be nice to have a plush wool rug in the bedroom someday!?” And thankfully, he remembered. And he agreed that it looked promising enough to go check it out in person (and smell it, because John was wondering how a consigned rug might smell).

We love a flat weave rug – and have a bunch in our house – but ever since we discovered our love of plush wool Turkish rugs, we’ve been talking about how if ever there were a spot to add one more, it’s the master bedroom. It just feels like the ultimate place for something thick and cozy underfoot. Plus, that soft green flat weave was something we bought back in 2011 for our last house’s living room, so the size wasn’t perfect for the bedroom (it wasn’t as long as the space, so it didn’t extend quite as close to the closet/bathroom door as we’d prefer). But it couldn’t have been that bad because we lived with it for nearly four years this way.

Back to the new rug. It was miraculously the perfect size (around 12 x 16′) and didn’t smell at all (hallelujah!). And because it was a one-of-a-kind find at a consignment store, we knew it wasn’t going to wait around for us. Cut to John standing there grinning with it on the dolly, ready to be loaded into our car.

And guess who muscled that giant wool beast up the stairs? That’s right. This married couple (*points to selves with thumbs*).

Once we got it into the room I pretty much did the Macarena with excitement. It might just be my favorite rug of all time. I mean LOOK AT THE DETAILS! The COLORS! The SHAPES! The SHEER AMOUNT OF CAPS LOCK I’M USING TO DESCRIBE IT!

There are tons of other rugs I love a whooooole lot in this house (I’m looking at you dining room, bonus room, and living room), but this new bedroom edition just feels extra special. So shh, don’t tell them. And don’t cry for the old rug Argentina! That green flat weave sold in less than an hour on a local buy-sell board on Facebook and is currently living her best life in a neighbor’s house.

You may also be noticing a couple of other changes in the wide shot – namely the wall behind the bed. This rug’s bolder, more colorful, and larger scale pattern made it much more of a focal point than its soft green predecessor. So when we rolled out the new rug, the frames on the wall felt kinda jumbled and crazy all of a sudden. Like Lady GaGa in a meat dress next to Bjork in a swan costume. Why? Because the frame wall used to be the focal point with a more subtle rug playing backup. But with a big bold rug in the room now, two focal points were fighting for attention.

So we took all of the frames off the wall and tried out a few “calmer” pieces instead. After buying something the instinct might be to go buy a ton of other stuff to go with the exciting new item, but one of my favorite things to do instead is just to play around with what you have. Sometimes you just have to shift a few things around the house and a few rooms end up looking and feeling fresher to the tune of zero more dollars spent.

The winner was this painting that used to hang above John’s desk in the office (we bought it right off of the wall at a ski house we rented a few years back). I may stain the frame to match some of the other woods in the room, but for now it’s doing the job of complementing – not competing with – the new rug. And from afar it looks surprisingly similar to some of the gold frames we added to the other side of the room (more on those in a sec).

And now in the office there’s a mirror we already had hanging where the pink painting used to be – which is nice because it reflects the light from the two windows across from it. There’s no better feeling than running up and down the stairs with things and trying them in other rooms until the crazy puzzle of “I need one thing for this room and another thing for that room” is solved. I’m serious. I LOVE that weird challenge feeling. It’s like Supermarket Sweep, Home Edition. Come to think of it, that would make a pretty good game show. Stop laughing. I’m serious.

And I know you were worried about where all of our family photos went (JK, nobody cares about family photos unless they’re their own family). We found a few other places around the room to hang some, and I moved some into the guest room above my sewing desk. It’s not as many as we used to have on display, but I think we’ll survive just fine without having 20+ photos of ourselves in a single room anymore.

I reframed the photos in our room in these gold frames that I already had stashed in the guest room (they’re my favorite gold ones from Target that I’ve also hoarded for the beach house). They created a nice little grid above our wood dresser – an antique hand-me-down from John’s parents that had been in the closet. We just swapped it for the white dresser that used to sit here since the wood one looks so nice with the rich new rug colors.

In rearranging our family photos, we realized we’re waaaay overdue for printing some updated ones (so many of a tiny baby boy and a toddler girl) so we sent a few new 8 x 10″ pics to Target so we can finally update these frames. It just feels like you “notice” pictures again when you change them out, so this bedroom update was a nice kick in the pants to get on that.

The other side of the room still has the gradient dresser we painted back in 2011 for our first book (yes, we have no shortage of dressers in here!). Also, can you tell John is asking Burger why he’s always walking into our pictures like he owns the place? You saw him up in the bed squishing all of our pillows a few pictures up too, right? Dude, is ALWAYS ready for his close up.

The Samantha French print above the dresser (she’s one of my favorite painters – here’s her Easy shop) is one we’ve had for years, and we FINALLY got it properly framed! It was actually a birthday gift from John, who sent it off to a framing company called Simply Framed and they made it look so much more legit and lovely with a nice chunky white frame and a perfectly sized mat. This isn’t a sponsored mention or anything (he paid for it, and we love it). It’s not as cheap as finding a ready-made frame at the store (it was about $120, with a coupon code) but it looks so expensive and well done when it comes back to you. Finally feels like the frame is doing the print justice.

It’s hard to tell in the pic, but they even emailed us to say “do you want the mat to go right up to the edge of the print or would you like it to be spaced around a quarter-inch away so the penciled title and signature are visible?” We were so glad they suggested that because that little detail that makes it feel much more professionally done and polished.

So that, my friends, is the tale of a bedroom that we thought was going back into dormancy for a few more years, but was propelled into an accidental-but-surprisingly-thrilling makeover, thanks to a rug switch and a whole lot of other free furniture and accessory swapping.

Oh, and that picture above captures one of the cooler things about the rug – see how it looks faded in a few rows? The lady who owns the consignment store said her friend who vends rugs said it’s not truly faded in those areas, it’s a different looming method and type of wool that they use for those parts so the little water-color-like effect is something they intentionally add when they make the rug. Cool, right? I love how layered and soft it looks with those strips of blurrier colors.

And yes, I totally daydream about moving those windows over so they’re centered. Except they would look wonky from the front of our balanced brick colonial, so I guess I need to leave them where they are and DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT MY ENTIRE LIFE CAN’T BE SYMMETRICAL. Maybe adding one more curtain panel on that left side and extending the rod would cheat things a little and make it less noticeable? Might give that a try sometime.

But so ends our new tour of the bedroom. I’ll leave you with this performance art piece by Burger, entitled Dog Leaves Bed.

And for anyone wondering where we got things in the room, here’s a big ol’ list for you:

bench / faux fiddle leaf fig plant / chandelier / curtains / curtain rods / night stands / swimming girl print / gold frames / similar pink painting / similar duvet / similar bedside lamps / similar dresser / similar tallboy dresser / similar chair / similar floor lamp 

You can also always find our room’s paint colors and sources for everything in them right here.

*This post contains affiliate links*

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