#but i bet the tiktok girlies loved it

[im-goin-mad]

thanks boo!! black river kult just help me get over a yearslong crush on you

[batfamhastwitter]

Since I think it'll be a hot minute before the next update, I figured that I'd post some headcanons relating to this au that have been floating around in my brain for a while!

Bruce is one of those celebrities that has tens of millions of followers, but unless you live in/around Gotham, there is a high likelihood that you have never seen his posts

Even though he spends zero to no time on twitter in his day to day life and doesn't have notifications turned on, Dick is always one of the first ten people to like his sibling's posts. There is a running bet going between the rest of the family about how he does it (there may or may not be a murder board)

Jason can and will get into heated debates with idiots on the daily on a secret account. Bruce has been begging him to stop because he knows that it will eventually end up reaching the media. Little does he know that's Jason's main motivator for continuing.

Because of her dyslexia, Cass doesn't really use twitter a lot, since the idea of reading scrolling walls of text doesn't appeal to her very much, which is why I don't have her make appearances very often (not that I don't love her! I just don't see her as someone who would be online very much anyways)

Tim was 100000% a Tumblr girly back in the day, and though he'll deny it, he totally still is. It's where he hosted the old blog he used to document his pictures of Batman and Robin when he was younger, and how it has transitioned to more general subjects, though sometimes he'll post a picture of one of the Bats from an angle that should be impossible for a civilian to have gotten to.

Steph actually had a big twitter following before ever being publicly associated with the Waynes! She's into the makeup scene and has posted the occasional video of her routines for years, at first on YouTube and then on TikTok. Even though the makeup wasn't great at first because she was a teenager and just getting started, people loved her humor, so they stuck around! Sometimes morons try to say that she's only successful because she's associated with the Waynes, and she takes great joy in showing them how being associated with the Waynes barely boosted her follower count.

Duke has had the same twitter account since he was 13, and occasionally an embarrassing tweet from that era of his life will resurface and be quoted around the manor until he starts retaliating by retweeting some of their "greatest hits" (like the one time tim crashed into a food table at a gala when he was nine because he had snuck his skateboard in.) Needless to say the rest usually quiet down afterwards lol

Damian has the second highest follower count in the family besides Bruce because people love how he goes from posting a cute photo of Titus and Alfred the Cat snuggling to doxing someone (coughTimcough) for annoying him

Lmk if you guys like this type of thing! I'm definitely down to post more headcanons and the like if there's interest, hope you enjoy! :)

[lovecanyon]

YOUR #1 WAG/F1 REPORTER

charles leclerc x reader

MASTERLIST | PATREON

liked by charles_leclerc, f1 and 1,374,019 others

yourinstagram “what do you mean i can’t drive for mercedes next year?”

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charlesfan2 GOODBYEEEE

charlesfan6 forever a y/n stan account

charles_leclerc Mercedes?

yourinstagram should i have said redbull? idk sorryyy

charlesfan3 she is so 😭😭

carmenmmundt So gorgeous! ❤️

charlesfan9 CAN YOU INTERVIEW YOUR BOYFRIEND AGAIN PLS

liked by charlesfan4, charlesfan10 and 245,193 others

love4wags Charles and Y/N in Ferrari’s hospitality today!

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charlesfan5 LITERAL PARENTS

charlesfan8 manifesting they stay together forever

charlesfan11 you don’t understand how much i love them 😩😩😩

charlesfan2 mother and father!!!!!

charlesfan6 i hope y/n is interviewing him again…i will die

charlesfan12 she is always the best dressed in the paddock sorry not sorry

liked by charlesfan1, charlesfan7 and 98,733 others

leclercdaily Charles in Y/N’s TikTok recently!

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charlesfan6 they are so cute.

charlesfan10 CRYING AND THROWING UP

charlesfan4 charles is so happy with y/n i can’t 😭

charlesfan8 they way he was looking at her…goodbye…

charlesfan3 y/n having charles in a chokehold ‼️

charlesfan2 I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE

charlesfan5 sleeping on the highway tonight

liked by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc and 3,382,109 others

scuderiaferarri In this exclusive interview with Y/N L/N, a celebrated reporter, delves deep into the inner world of Formula 1 driver Charles Leclerc, unravelling the strategies, challenges, and triumphs that have shaped his career.

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charlesfan2 I MANIFESTED THIS

charlesfan8 wanna bet you they were flirting the entire time

charles_leclerc Had an amazing time!

carlossainz55 Lol

charlesfan9 LMAOO 😭

dualipa Best couple in the world x

charlesfan3 something shifted

f1 Both dominating the racing world!

liked by charles_leclerc, isahernaez and 2,551,284 others

yourinstagram box box

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charlesfan8 HER CAPTION BYEEEE

charlesfan1 live laugh y/n

isahernaez See you soon babe!

yourinstagram cannot wait ❤️❤️

charlesfan6 FOREVER MY FERRARI GIRLS

charlesfan5 i miss isa and y/n together so bad

scuderiaferrari Ferrari forever ❤️🏎️

(liked by yourinstagram!)

liked by charlesfan3, charlesfan7 and 457,920 others

charlesandyn Y/N and Charles in Monaco recently with his family!

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charlesfan10 i am so in love with them

charlesfan5 SOMEONE SEDATE ME

charlesfan2 charles won the lottery with y/n…truly

charlesfan11 they are my royal family 😭😭

charlesfan4 y/n and charles are perfect together, i love them so bad

charlesfan12 without them i am nothing

charlesfan1 cutie patooties

liked by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc and 830,184 others

ferraristyle In the paddock with style. Y/N L/N wearing Ferrari Style.

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charlesfan1 THE BEST WAG TO HAVE EVER LIVED

charlesfan6 y/n being a ferrari girly 💅

yourinstagram back to work!

(liked by charles_leclerc)

charlesfan4 y/n l/n the woman that you are

kellypiquet Pretty girl

charlesfan7 nobody is doing it like her

charlotte2304 Truly the best dressed on the paddock!!

liked by charlesfan2, charesfan8 and 212,645 others

charlesleclercnews Y/N via Charles’ Instagram stories!

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charlesfan9 he wants to kill us

charlesfan4 CHARLES IN HIS FOREVER BOYFRIEND ERA

charlesfan10 can they get married already 🙌

charlesfan3 literallyyyy

charlesfan5 i love them so much 😭😭

charlesfan7 y/n l/n scuderia ferrari driver…i like the sound of that

charlesfan11 AJAKAKSBVSVAHAJSJJEKW

liked by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc and 63,237 others

joris__trouche Happy birthday to our #1 wag 🎂 🎉

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charlesfan5 IT’S Y/N DAY

charlesfan11 the way it’s her anniversary with charles too 🥲

yourinstagram thxxx jor ❤️

(liked by joris__trouche & charles_leclerc)

arthur_leclerc Happy birthday Y/N!!!!

charlesfan7 today is a big day for her omggg

francisca.cgomes Ahhhh happy bday 💕

charlesfan10 the caption is so real

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 3,474,013 others

yourinstagram happy anniversary to my angel, i love you so dearly! ♾️ ❤️

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charlesfan2 this shit has me crying omg

charles_leclerc Happy anniversary my love ❤️❤️❤️

yourinstagram i love u

charlesfan8 BABIES 🧎‍♂️

charlesfan4 the prince and princess of monaco

(liked by yourinstagram!)

carlossainz55 Happy anniversary you two.

charlesfan9 NEXT MARRIAGE

leclerc_pascale Mes anges ❤️

liked by yourinstagram, isahernaez and 6,739,012 others

charles_leclerc Double the celebration, double the love. Happy birthday to the most incredible girlfriend and the one who has filled my life with endless joy and love.

Here's to another amazing year of creating beautiful memories together. Happy anniversary, my love!

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charlesfan1 tears are streaming down my face

charlesfan6 THEY ARE SO PERFECT TOGETHER

yourinstagram you are so sweet, i love you so much

charles_leclerc I love you more ❤️❤️

f1 Forever our Ferrari couple

landonorris Love you two!

charlesfan8 mother & father of ferrari

scuderiaferrari Another year of love ❤️

liked by charlesfan15, charlesfan3 and 305,726 others

yncharlesdaily Charles and Y/N last night in Monaco celebrating their anniversary!

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charlesfan5 still not getting over the way charles asked out y/n on her birthday 🥲

charlesfan7 THE REAL ROYAL COUPLE OF MONACO

charlesfan2 paps need to leave them alone…

charlesfan10 the way y/n is hiding 😭😭

charlesfan6 charles looks so smiley

charlesfan11 he has never been this happy in his entire life

charlesfan4 they are the cutest

-

tag list: @harrysmatcha @harryspinkpillow @helen-with-an-a @florencepughily @peterparkerbae @toji-dabi-wife @fallonx @drphilssoulmate @cherriesrae @alienorknight @valluvsu @ayeshathestyles @hazgoldenstyles @eiffelmezarry @tsukishimawhore @renatavieira @michellekstyles @eleanordaisy @shawnsblue @agustdpeach @hannahnikohl @whoscamila @ch3rryrry @msolbesg @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @youusunshineyoutemptress @cherryfragrancx @milkiane @golden-hoax @sunshinemendes8 @your--sweetest--downfall @melllinaa @tenaciousperfectionunknown @cashtons-wife @stellarossii @scenesofobx @manifestrry @lomlolivia

[ham1lton]

sebastian’s angel.

pairings: sebastian vettel x actress!reader

faceclaim: lucy liu.

summary: when you start attending sebastian’s races, people speculate that perhaps you’re friends or it’s a pr deal for the company you’re both affiliated to. that’s until your instagram post sets the internet aflame.

— part six of my 500 followers celebration ♡ —

liked by ynswifey, yourbffname and 1,383,829 others.

yourusername: newest covergirl of elle magazine. not too shabby right? we talked about my newest movie, my essentials, my f1 obsession and if i could keep that furry jacket.

view all comments

user8: did u keep the jacket?

-> yourusername: yes! 😁

user1: omg queen of looking stunning from every angle.

-> user2: her JAWLINE 😩

user6: watched charlie’s angels and i think i had my gay awakening.

-> user7: real omg.

yourbffname: thats my gf y’all 😘😏

-> yourusername: love you more than heaven and earth <33

user9: girlie since when were you an f1 fan?

-> user12: worlds colliding. can’t believe my favourite actress is an f1 fan!!

-> hater2: i bet she only thirsts over the drivers 😒

-> user8: boy stfu. look at HER. if anything, they’d be thirsting over her. stay mad bitch!

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

liked by messyuser1, messyuser2 and 134,728 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: charlie’s angels’ actress y/n l/n has been photographed attending many f1 races recently. meeting fans in silverstone and now currently being in italy. rumours are swirling about a potential romance with an f1 driver, what are your thoughts ham1ltons?

view all comments

user1: she could get a billionaire. i doubt it.

user7: i am hoping for it to be a contract thing because i want her to date cillian murphy. the chemistry in that movie was insane!!

user8: guys… she stated herself she’s just a big fan? why is everyone jumping to the conclusion that she has to be there for a guy??

-> user67: because why not.

user98: she was seen there with her charlie’s angel’s coworkers so maybe it’s for promo for the next instalment?

user72: JENSONY/N SUPREMACY 😩

-> user2: NANDOY/N SUPREMACY 😩

-> user94: USER94Y/N SUPREMACY 😩

————————————————————————

liked by jensonbutton, okmagazine and 1,272,938 others

yourusername: sometimes, the nerd gets the girl.

view all comments

user7: AHHHHHHHHH

user6: OMG? POWER COUPLE ??

user56: hard launch of the century my god.

-> user8: she said no posting until i get that ring on my finger and she kinda ate…

jensonbutton: gorgeous wedding! would have been better if i was the groom 😉.

-> user5: babe i’ll be ur bride 😍

-> user80: MESSY ASF 😭

yourbffname: seb rocking the stache. gotta respect it.

-> yourusername: begged him to shave but it grew on me.

user2: are u sure this isn’t a soft launch for nico? 🤨

-> user56: love seeing delusional people roaming social media. makes my day to know i’m not alone thanks 👍🏻

————————————————————————

author’s note: just wanted to let you know, in preparation for this smau, i watched a shit ton of sebastian edits on tiktok. i did that purely for this and not at ALL for my own personal interest…. anyways shout out to the girlies editing seb to sexyy red because that’s absolutely my niche. also shout out to the anon that wanted this fic, posted it just for u babe <3333

[goldfades]

I was just thinking of how much a troll the manager is on twitter. I'm gonna delve into how the manager is with managing social media for the girls later, cuz girly does a LOT and is TIRED, she runs all departments.

But no she really is a troll frl. She's not really active on twitter as far as doom scrolling but she'll comment here and there. I can totally see her roasting people who say anything flavorful about any of her girls, or even the few friends she's made with other basketball players.

Some examples:

"Womp Womp" (YOU CAN'T TELL ME SHE DOESN'T USE THIS)

"Your teachers handed your tests back to you upside down, huh?"

"You look drop shipped."

"Your entire value has an expiration date."

"You look easy to draw."

"I bet you eat fried chicken with a fork."

Also with the condescendiiing

"Baby, Imma hold your hand when I say this."

"My love, milk expires before it hits your stomach, you have longer things to worry about than some girls playing ball."

"Oooo so close! If she were to have ate shit (aka you) the worlds average IQ would've increased. Hope this helps!

--

User9: You just always look like a bitch huh?

Manager: Why yes! Just like you hide your face so you don't get charged with public indecency. Glad we're on the same page! xoxo

---

She let's loose a bit on twitter, but she totally strikes me as someone who will roast you, professionally......sometimes. We know she roasts the girls on a day to day basis so nobody should be suprised.

I also lowkey see her going back and forth with Angel, playfully of course, but damn it's something that you just had to be there for.

Manager joining instagram/tiktok lives with other basketball players and the Uconn team being in the live comments like "??? and what do you think you're doing here?"

---

Also imagine this: Manager is at a basketball game right, not a Uconn one, just enjoying herself right?

An interviewer walks up to her (girly is popularrrrr) and starts asking her a few question, and the manager doesn't mind answering some cuz yk, the games over anyways so.

All of a sudden the interviewer goes, "So, what do you think about Kate?" & the manager just goes "Uh...which one?"

"Kate Martin? I mean who else?" whilst laughing

Now one thing out of the many things that we've discussed here is the the manager has a what? attitude. She's also very sarcastic, so obviously, she responded accordingly.

"Oh?," she laughs out "I wasn't aware that she was the only Kate to exist within the community, my apologies..." and then went on to answer LMFAO

There was edits using clips from that interview after.

---

Manager: I'm resigning from my position at uconn

Posted: April 1

paigebueckers1: that just gave me a heart attack

>manager: i'm the only one that could get your heart racing like that

kkarold: girly....

>manager: yes pookie?🥺

MuhlNika: As if we'd let you

>manager:....what do you mean by that?

>paigebueckers1: you really think you could get away from us that easily?🤣

>MuhlNika: Twin let her find out

>manager: what is this behavior...🧌

>kkarnold: together forever bookie🤞

>manager: I need an adult😀

-🐹

HELPPPP YES😭😭😭 and geno gets mad at her and is like "why would you.... just why???" and manager would just be like smirking cause they can't get in THAT much trouble yk

paigebueckers1: that just gave me a heart attack

>manager: i'm the only one that could get your heart racing like that

^^^ this whole thing set the whole manager x paige people on FIREEE like yes, this is proof 💕

[zvmz]

A few Daring Charming HCs <3

Growing up, anytime he expressed interest in anything considered girly, his father would lecture him on how he needs to be more manly or whatever

For example, He did like rom-coms, and he would sometimes watch them with darling, but got a lecture and told to ‘spend his time on something more befitting of a man’ when he was caught

Since his father considered the guitar a manly instrument, He started learning to play when he was young to impress him

his dad was impressed. And that made daring happier than anything. That’s when he realized he would do anything to earn his fathers approval. So, he worked hard at it, changing things about himself to live up to his fathers standards.

he did, of course, succeed in this goal, but in the process took on many of his fathers flaws, such as his arrogance and sexist ideals

Now at eah, he’s slowly realizing that his father is capable of being in the wrong. He can embrace all the things he likes and still be a man. He can express his emotions and still be a man. He’s realizing his life should not revolve around earning his dads approval, that he needs to become his own person.

character development!!

anyway, he really showed his growth when he finally stood up to his dad for how he treats dexter, and defended darling for everything going on with her and apple.

why am I trying to write a whole character arc rn um anyways

With cerise and darling, he learned that women can be more than just “damsels in distress”.

with Lizzie and Dexter, he learned to put others ahead of himself.

now he can admit he hates the guitar. He loves romance movies, Katy perry, shopping, theatre and acting. he even likes to wear pink sometimes. hes still finding out what he likes and doesnt like without his fathers influence

he LOVES sweet drinks. if hes at a bar hes getting a daiquiri. if hes at a cafe its a frappuccino.

when hes getting drinks with lizzie, the waiter always assumes the fruity/sweet drink goes to lizzie

sparrow makes so much fun of him for it

he doesnt like cerise like that anymore, but they are great friends now. they mostly bond over sports and movies

he excels at history and literature, but has trouble in science and math. apple tutors him.

their tutoring sessions can be really awkward, though. they dont really know how to talk to each other normally.

he never really had a crush on her at any time, but he has always very much admired her for her hard work and intellect.

hes extremely chivalrous and polite. he always holds the door open for people, always offers his seat to someone if theyre all full, never looks at his phone during a date. things like that

hes always over-dressed, no matter the occasion

probably spends at least a third of his time in the gym flexing and taking pictures in the mirror

lets bfr teens in the eah world definitely make tiktok edits of him

daring is obsessed with them. theyre all over his fyp.

understands every one of briars daily mean girls references

he only auditioned for a play for the first time in order to spend more time with lizzie, who got dragged into playing a part. they both ended up loving it.

i am retconning the whole thing with duchess in the books. never happened.

the actual reason daring and lizzie broke up was because daring felt guilty about the bet with sparrow, so he confessed to her. which ended in lizzie yelling at him for half an hour and dumping him

they missed each other SO much. daring basically tried to apologize to her almost every day, and after some months lizzie decided to give him another chance. he absolutely did not waste that chance.

he plays fortnite with dexter and darling once a week

as a kid he used to climb trees with darling all the time. they got caught and lectured on it pretty often

has been to jail for going 50 over the speed limit before. dexter and darling had to bail him out

once dexter and darling tried to prank daring by filling his entire room with merch of himself

it completely backfired bc daring loved it and kept most of it where it was

hes definitely one of those boys who says "im him" about any ryan gosling character and says ryan reynolds is hot

[stormoflina]

Happy New Year's Eve to everyone! 😁🎉🍷

I saw the tiktok boys doing this trend in the international break, and the idea stayed with me, and it's fitting rn anyway. If it's lame I will just blame my friends for giving me bad experiences 😸

Rating how a night-out with lfc players would go (this is for the girlies, do mind that):

Virg: You would feel the most safe and relaxed on a night-out in your whole entire life. Virg would literally scare all unwanted comments and wandering hands just with his aura. He would buy you whisky, trying to be fancy, but by the end of the night you would be on your 4th beer together, doing karaoke. He would leave by like 1 am tho. 9/10

Tsimi: he drinks one vodka-redbull and it's over. And by that I mean it's not really over, quite the opposite actually. Not leaving the club until they literally close. He would be bouncing up the walls, dancing with everyone, chatting up to strangers while waiting for drinks, running around, making new best friends every bathroom break, falling in love at least 3 times just that night. A nice, eventful night, but by the end, you would probably be exhausted. 7/10

Joey: Ngl, you would probably be kinda worried about partying with him, thinking he's a bit dull or the atmosphere will be awkward... Only to be completely wrong and for you to have the best night of your life? He takes shots like a champ, smooth dance moves,a great wingman and has the best drunk advice to your drunk first world problems. He also knows the best place to get kebab place after the club and walks you home. 10/10

Ibou: Go out with him and you will have the time of your life. Takes the best pictures and tags you, likes and comments, just to get the guy you like all hot and bothered. Pretends he doesn't understand English and starts cursing out people in French, just because. Outfit on point. -1 point for making your stomach hurt from laughing too much. 9/10

Robbo: It's either a heartfelt hug and temple kisses while pouring your heart out kind of night or trying to use the street lamps as a strip pole while laughing like the two of you have lost your minds kind of night. Brings his own alcohol for pre gaming, because "it's much better, trust me." He's never a quiet person, both with each drink he has, the volume of his voice just increases. He tries to guess the dick size of random guys who try to chat you up. You will need 2-3 days to recover from this night, but it's all worth it. 10/10

Darwin: Unlike Kostas, Darwin is NOT allowed to drink redbull-vodkas, not under any circumstances. Instead he drinks literally anything else. He especially likes those colourful cocktails. When they start to hit, he picks up the straws and pretends he is a walrus. Who cares about the language barrier, you can communicate just fine by dancing together. Darwin is a really good dancer, alright, all eyes glued to him. Somehow he gets into a fight and gets thrown out. He claims he is innocent, but who actually knows. There are always other clubs! 8/10

Joel: When you ask him out he just glares at you with raised eyebrows. Still, he shows up, with an unimpressed expression glued to his face all night until they start playing Timberland. Suddenly the coconut man is all arms up and legs moving. He leaves randomly before midnight without telling you tho. 5/10

Trent: The night kinda takes a wrong route before it can even start, when he makes a bet about which one of you can take more shots without stopping. Trent wins, his eyes sparkling and a relaxed, loop-sided smile already plastered on his face. He pays for the taxi and is extremely smug about the girls he claims he will get. Tries to make another bet with you on who can pull the most. Ends up sulking after he gets rejected (nevermind that literally everyone else wants a piece of him). He doesn't dance, just stands like a stick, licking his lips and holding his drink. Starts asking horny questions after 2 am. 8.5/10

Macca: Takes forever to pee, because he starts making friends with everyone in the bathrooms. Brings his own personalized maté cup, but God knows what’s inside. Judging by how red-faced he gets as the night goes on, it must be something strong tho. Good dancer, if only he would stop doing googly eyes at people while he promised it was a friends only night… 6/10 

Domi: The pre-gaming might be more fun than the actual party. Takes forever to get ready, because he keeps talking too much, showing you his favourite songs and offering his grandpa’s pálinka. Puts in way too much hair product. By the time you get to the club, both of you are comfortably drunk. Not the best dancer, but enthusiasm makes up for it.  He starts eyefucking random hot people. It gets annoying by 3 am, when you are ready to go home and sleep and he still has way too much energy. 8/10

Jota: Keeps complaining that he didn’t want to go, then drinks everyone under the table. Like it’s actually annoying how unfazed he seems. Takes good care of you, looking after you, bringing you water, but still, when you are tipsy, dizzy and feels like you are going to throw up, you would rather have him shut up about FIFA for a sec. 6.5/10

Ali: Says he will not drink, because he has stuff to do early in the morning, but still comes and has a great time. Funny, kind and polite, and very good looking, which turns out to be a bit of a problem, after people just won’t stop asking him out. Gives you great advice when you start talking about the guy you like. His dancing is cute, but a bit old fashioned. 8/10

[azulera]

We Go Together

Pairing: Jadon Sancho x Black Reader

Summary: Jadon wants everyone to know he’s yours.

Notes: don’t know where this one came from really bt i literally gave myself b*tterflies while writing it … it was so fun and i think its so so cute. also helloo to the JS25 girlies how are you :) hope u enjoy :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This is so random, but, I can’t lie. I hate braids. Like, on girls.”

Jadon looked at Reiss from the side of his eye, barely lifting his head from the back of the couch. Maybe they’d been vegetating on the chocolate-colored sectional too long, the blue light exposure from watching TikTok after TikTok finally getting to his friend’s head. It had to be that.

“What, bro?”

“They’re childish, brother, look.” Reiss leaned over, showing Jadon a clip of a girl being spun in a salon chair, with bright blue box braids trailing down the cape around her back. Reiss sucked his teeth twice before the video even ended. “It’s a little kid’s hairstyle, like primary school plaits. I do not rate them.”

Jadon laughed in a loud burst of sound, and shook his head at his friend’s wild take. Reiss’ complaining had triggered an image in his mind that easily refuted each of the critiques he brought up. He pushed the phone away from his face.

“Nah, you’re tripping. Braids are fire. Especially with the little baby hairs out, slicked down and that.”

“Noo, bro, the baby hairs get so extra!” Reiss rocked in his seat. “It’s gotta go, the whole style’s dead.”

“Maybe on gyal you see, but my girl, her things different. I’m telling you.”

“Oh my days– you almost did it, you know? You almost made it ten whole minutes without mentioning Y/N. It’s been 2 years, bro, we get it, you’re locked down, it’s cute, whatever.”

Jadon shrugged, a smile on his lips that he didn’t care to hide.

“I’m jus sayin.”

Reiss laughed, and switched subjects to show him another TikTok he thought was hilarious, but the picture in Jadon’s mind that his friend had summoned was too strong to ignore now, the warm feeling in his chest too sweet to pass by quickly. He half-listened while Reiss explained the meaning behind the joke, and scrolled to your Instagram profile. He went back a few weeks to spring break photos where you were sea-side in a flowy linen outfit with waist length braids falling over your shoulders, caught in the ocean wind. A minute later, he’d reposted the photo to his story, with a caption below.

“I love box braids. 😍 And my girl 😍”

He smiled again when it published, his thousands of followers viewing the image and leaving a flurry of cherry red hearts rising in the corner of the screen. Reiss, realizing he was no longer being listened to, peeked over Jadon’s shoulder, and rolled his eyes.

“You are such a simp, bro. I would banter you more if I wasn’t a little bit jealous.”

“Don’t worry, brother, it’ll happen for you one day. When you stop hating on girls’ hairstyles, I bet. Saying braids are dead, nah, you’re mad.”

Reiss shoved against his shoulder, but quickly slipped back down his internet rabbit hole, and a text came into Jadon’s phone.

Y/N: not u reposting my old pics lol you were lurking?

Jadon: No Jadon: Actually yeah Jadon: Reiss was trashing braids and i had to set him str8 Jadon: Can you come by?

Y/N: you 2 are mad i swear Y/N: and i thought u and him had plans after the match?

Jadon: Nah the braid comment was too much Jadon: I wanna see you

Y/N: yeah thats poor from him. i can be there in an hour :) Y/N: and i just got fresh braids done yesterday, i forgot to tell you lol

Jadon: 😍

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What’s your middle name then? William? Zachary?”

The question registered only faintly in Jadon’s headset, all his focus instead zeroed in on the pixelated movements of his starting XI as they ran alongside Marcus’ XI. The teams were so well-matched that every possession was a battle, and the 85th minute found them in a deadlock with one goal each. It wasn’t quite the time for casual conversation.

“My middle name? What do you mean? No-no-no-no!”

One of his center backs made a sloppy pass, and a pressing forward had intercepted it. Thankfully, the keeper recovered and the score remained 1-1.

“Stop trying to distract me, bro! It won’t work.”

“M’not, I swear! It’s just the letter there on your bracelet. It’s catching the light and I can see it through the screen. And it’s not J or S, so.”

Jadon looked down at his wrist for a moment, at the thin gold chain draped along the left one with a capital letter and small, earth figure hanging in the center. Marcus was right – the jewelry did shine in the light coming in through the window and glowing from the computer monitor, and the sight twitched the sides of his mouth.

“It’s not my middle name, it’s for–wait, wait–”

Jadon paused the game and Marcus cursed over the headset. Still, he went on unbothered, more than happy to provide context around the question his teammate had innocently or not so innocently posed.

“So the letter, that’s for my girlfriend's name. She bought it for me for my birthday, couple years back. It’s nice, innit.” The grin that had started as a twitch now stretched across his mouth. “And the little earth thing is like, it’s like a reminder. That when I’m away, different country, different city, whatever. She’s always with me.”

Marcus smiled at him over the monitor, shaking his head even as his fingers itched to get back to the match.

“Aw look at you, Sanch, big softie. It’s too bad your missus ain’t here now though, to save you gettin whooped in FIFA.”

“No, you’re lucky she’s not here, really, cause I’d have been on a hattrick. It’s a miracle you’re even gettin a sniff, bro.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, stop chatting then and press play. Five more minutes and then we’ll see.”

Jadon resumed the game and leaned forward in his chair, his thumbs flying over the buttons. When his team paused for a corner minutes later, thoughts of you, which had been simmering under the surface ever since Marcus’ inadvertently brought you up, flashed through his mind. It was hard when he was in Manchester, and you were in London, but the little spiel he’d given his teammate reminded him, just as the bracelet did, that if the two of you could ever be considered “apart” it was only ever in a physical sense, never an emotional one. There was nothing that could separate him from you as far as he was concerned, unless he were to tear his own heart out of his chest or something equally dramatic. He decided instead to raise his hand to his mouth, pressing the letter charm softly to his lips. It was your name he whispered against the gold, uncaring if Marcus could hear, as he sent the cross flying towards the box.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Can I help you find something, sir?”

The salesgirl rested a hand on his forearm as she asked, and Jadon flinched at the touch. He’d been in the shoe store for a few minutes already and no one had noticed him yet, but the intensity of her look told him he’d been recognized. She was suddenly stood so close some of the hair from her ponytail brushed against his shoulder, and he could see the dark clumps in her heavy lashes. Her fingers were cold.

“Yeah, actually,” He stepped away from her while he talked, letting her hand drop. “I’m looking for a pair of those, uh, ugg slippers, slides, the ones with the fur. Do you have those?”

“I believe we do!” She flashed him a smile that lasted too long to be comfortable, and then turned slowly on her heel. “Follow me.”

They walked to the winter footwear section and she lead the way, walking slower and swinging her hips more than was necessary for the 30-second trip. Her performance, however, was lost on Jadon, who had opened up his phone to read his most recent text thread.

Jadon: Baby pick a color, it’s important

Y/N: for what?

Jadon: Don’t worry about it just pick Jadon: Red, blue, black or brown

Y/N: don’t even know what i’m choosing 😳 Y/N: but i’ll say red, it’s our fave

Jadon: 👍🏽

They’d come upon the display of slip-ons, and the girl swept an arm over them, slipping back into a sales monologue about their current popularity with customers, and how the fur-lined interior was more comfortable than any other ugg shoe she’d tried. He thought her boss must be somewhere around, but noticed there was no one near them.

“Do you have the red ones in an 8? And also a 5.5.?”

“Let’s just see!” She bent at the waist, searching the rack of boxes for the numbers he’d requested and making little noises of exertion all the while. Jadon’s eyes were still on his phone, searching for the notes app entry where he’d saved your clothing and footwear sizes and preferences years ago.

“Ooh, I’m sorry, sir, it looks like we only have the red ones in a size 8 and up. Are you sure you need the 5.5?”

She’d moved down into a squat, and now looked up at him through her lashes, biting on her lip. Her eyelids fluttered like there was something stuck on them.

“Yeah, I gotta have them. One second, please.”

Jadon: Pick another color, sorry Jadon: show you why in a bit

He looked up from his phone, waiting on your reply, and found the girl staring back at him. She took his returned gaze as some sort of invitation.

“You know, we sometimes have more stock in the back, extras that don’t make it on the shelves. We could go take a look together, if you want? The door has a lock on it.”

Jadon’s eyebrows flew into his hairline. He looked around the store bewildered, at a temporary loss for words, because all he could think to say was “Don’t you see my girl standing here?” and regrettably you weren’t. He couldn’t believe that anyone could look at him and not see that he was yours.

“Woah, no – absolutely not–” He stepped away from the girl for the second time, putting his hands up between them to maintain the distance. “I’ve got a girl, still.”

“And? I’ve got a man, too. But you’re Jadon Sancho.” She blinked her lashes harder, looking at him again with a challenge in her eyes that he wanted no parts of. Now, he wished he’d said “no” when she’d asked to help him.

“Nah, you have lost it.” Jadon laughed shakily, still in disbelief that she was propositioning him so boldly when he had your name written right there on his forehead. Or at least that’s how it felt. He shook his head and walked to the furthest part of the shelf where the brown colorways were kept, keeping a wide distance from her crouching frame.

“I’ll find them myself, yeah, thank you.”

The girl made a frustrated noise that he would’ve had to strain to hear, before she stood, her eyes still focused on him. She paused a moment, and with a shrug, took off to another part of the store.

Jadon breathed a sigh of relief. Just after, his phone buzzed with your response and it was just as he imagined.

Y/N: brown, then. it looks good on both our skin (whatever it is)

His smile returned.

At the register, he snapped a photo of the two stacked boxes just before they were bagged up and pressed send.

Jadon: Early bday present for u ❤️ Got a pair too cus I wanted us to match

Y/N: 😁 omg! thank u babey Y/N: that’s so sweet Y/N: i didn’t think you fancied them tho

Jadon: ❤️❤️❤️ Jadon: Yeah they look bare comfortable Jadon: And i need people to know we go together when we go out 😭 u don’t kno what i go thru

Y/N: ugh ur so brave, going out in public for me Y/N: thank u for ur sacrifice

Jadon: my **pleasure, innit ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That’s what you’re wearing? You're sure?”

Jadon continued primping himself in the mirror beside you, flattening the crease in his jeans, and fitting clear glasses onto his face. Lastly, slowly, he dragged his palms down the lines of his shirt, and turned to admire the details on its back.

“Of course I am, what you mean? Got it customized and everything, just for your special day, didn’t I?”

The shirt was jersey material and a bright lilac purple with two grey stripes down the front, but the other side was what had made your breath catch when he’d pulled it out of his bag. Y/N’S BOYFRIEND it read, in sparkly block letters across the back.

“I love it! I love it so much. I love you! Come here.” was all you managed at first, through rapid kisses to his lips, cheeks, and neck, but now that the shock had passed the meaningfulness of the gesture began to set in. You hugged him from behind then, feeling the prickle of the glittery letters against your chest through your robe. The love and appreciation you felt was overwhelming.

“How’d you know I’d wear purple, too?” You murmured into his back.

“Cause I just know.” He answered, looking extremely proud of himself. His hands curled around yours as they travelled up his chest, bringing the left one up to his mouth for a kiss.

“You'll make me cry, you know. Ruin my make-up.”

“Nah, none of that. Go on, finish gettin ready.” He squeezed your butt gently. “They’ll have shut the lights off already, and I need everyone to see.”

Now, inside the small party being held in your honor you were convinced the shirt looked even better, shimmering under the flashing dance-floor lights and complimenting his tanned skin. Together with your lavender shirt-skirt set you looked like brown-skinned Barbie and Ken, like two halves of the same whole, and knowing so made your “birthday girl” glow increase tenfold.

Through the night you floated between groups of friends and acquaintainces, trading memories, laughing hard, and saying thank you for the thoughtful gifts and warm messages given from those who’d come to celebrate. Jadon stayed by your side without fail, clocking the eyes on his garment as he passed, and it seemed the the edges of his smile extended each time there was a whisper of “Aww” or a gasp of surprise. Every now and then he would drop your hand, letting you stray a little ahead of him before wrapping an arm around your waist or joining hands again, so that anyone who hadn’t seen the first time knew exactly who “Y/N” was. When you realized what he was doing, it first made you laugh, then feel warm, and then drag him onto the dance floor so you could pull your bodies close.

“I’m not gassin it, am I?” He asked into your ear, hands carefully pressing your back to his chest. “I’ll go chill, let you dance with your friends.”

“Nah, you’re exactly where I want you.” You leaned your head back onto his shoulder for a moment, closing your eyes, feeling the gentleness of his hands on your waist, of his voice in your ear. Remembering how it was your name on his back for all these friends and strangers in the party to see. The music bumped and your bodies’ continued swaying to it.

“I’m happy you’re here, baby. And I can’t stop thinking about your shirt.” You let out more of the happy giggling that had characterized the night. “It’s my favorite gift so far.”

He shrugged, and you felt the movement against your back.

“I’ve been out the city for a while, innit. Just want to make sure people know what it is, that they ain’t forgot.”

“Do you think I don’t do that?” Your body stilled between his arms. “Is that why you’re on about it so much?”

“No, I don’t think that.” He guided your waist to keep moving again, making a lazy circle in time to the beat. “But I gotta make sure. You know that with me people always got something to say, innit. Always speculation, rumors and that. So I do what I can to make sure there ain’t no questions, about us, I mean. Cause there ain’t.”

“Well, I don’t think nobody’s gonna get confused after tonight. You couldn’t have made it any more clear.”

Jadon only laughed, his actions tonight already saying far more than a million words could. He ducked his head down into your neck for two, three warm kisses, squeezing at your hip, and his soft lips on your skin made you shiver.

You turned in his arms towards him, wrapping yours around his neck.

“It makes me feel so good, though, that. That you’re so proud to be with me. Makes me feel very lucky, and special, very in love with you.”

“You are special.” His lips twitched, fighting a smile, and you scratched one hand into the hair at the back of his neck. ”You’re everything. And you’ve held me down for so long, baby, there ain’t even nobody else to think about. It’s just you, innit.”

“I love you” you spoke, a smile breaking across your features, leaning against him, cradling his face, parting his lips in a gesture that said mine. He returned the kiss and the three words in one breath, his heart thumping, and the only thought in his head a repeat chorus of yours yours yours.

[wrongcaitlyn]

I WABT TO KNOW ABT KAYLAAAA. Tell me every single little hc u have for her pleasee🙏🙏🙏 I love her sm and the underatedness of her character is crazy. Tyt or canon anything pls😁😁😁

AHSDHFSDJFSD OMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME. I LOVE HER. SO MUCH.

i made a post abt her music taste (in talk your talk, but could also be canonverse tbh) on her tyt birthday here - and now onto some other hc's

(AND LITERALLY SHE DESERVES SM MORE ATTENTION SHE IS SUCH AN ICON)

canon: (most of these are taking from my will series bc i put in a lot of cabin 7 hc's into there but that series is mainly focused on will!)

pretty sure this is canon or at least like a universally accepted hc but she was closest with michael, and having lost him hit really hard.

i also think even though she's younger, she arrived at camp before austin, but they both arrived at pretty close intervals so after the battle of manhattan, they were treated as a pair and went pretty much everywhere together

kayla and austin arrived just before the battle of the labyrinth

kayla was already better than most of her siblings at archery when first arriving at camp because darren had taught her - and she already knew she was a daughter of apollo when first arriving bc darren was one of the few parents who, like, knew who her dad was - and he told her before she had to leave

and speaking of darren, they're very close. i tried to convey that in tyt too but i just love a good healthy father daughter relationship and they have that!!

coach hedge brought her to camp

eventually she stops dying her hair green and switches it out for a few different colors, but then reverts back to green a few years later because it's her favorite

she often complains about teaching archery lessons because she's not the greatest teacher, but she's also the best of the apollo kids at archery - but when she eventually finds another apollo kid who's pretty alright at archery she jumps to get away from that role

however she does becomes cabin counselor after will because of seniority

i think she had longer hair when she was younger that darren always put up in two french braids, but then on her way to chb something happened that made her have to chop it off. then she realized she liked it better that way and kept cutting it shorter

talk your talk!

KAYLA AND NICO ARE CONCERT BUDDIES. i feel like i've already said that. but i love it. kayla "uses" him to try and see the artists backstage after the concert or get vip seating, but she's also a total pit girlie and will arrive at the venue hours early to get barricade (am i projecting? maybe)

most avid tiktok user, up there with leo with her social media addictionsdkf

is very easily recognized in public due to the redhead/green hair dye combo- and even though she's a pretty niche celeb she still gets recognized in public a lot

yet she still refuses to change her hair dyeJSDF

nicknamed "Daughter of Apollo" for obvious reasons

i mentioned this in my music taste hc's but she can sing. like. insanely well. she could've been a singer if she wasn't committed to archery. i think it's kinda funny bc i bet that when darren and apollo were still dating they had some kind of bet on which field kayla would go into (with no doubt that she'd be in some way famous) and so when apollo heard her sing at karaoke night for the first time he was like "goddamnit i bet if i had been in her life i could've convinced her to be a singer"- but not completely seriously bc like ofc he's still incredibly proud of his daughter

lovessss to be on podcasts. let her yap!!

she went to a very small (im talking like total <15 people in her class) private school in canada (paid for by apollo) because of all the media frenzy (even though it had mostly died down). that, along with eventually moving in with apollo and going to another private school, made it really hard for her to learn how to socialize / make a really solid friend group (totally not projecting again). i touched on this in ch 7 of greatest of luxuries but she had a hard time fitting into her "friend group" who didn't really contact her after she left - and she jumped at being homeschooled. michael is her first real friend and they are very much grumpy & sunshine coded, but michael really does care for her like a little sister after a while (aka like 10 minutes)

she is just so very youngest child codedLKSJDF

thank you for the ask!!! i absolutely ADORE kayla she deserves everything <3

[royalsunshinehotel]

social media preference (dev patel)

Anwar Kharral (Skins UK): Anwar is the only one on this list active on TikTok. He's not an uncomfortable teen anymore - he's being cringe on main and setting trends. I bet he's got 90K followers at least! He uses Threads and Instagram to back up his TikTok, not much else.

Sonny Kapoor (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 1&2): For the benefit of the hotel, Sonny is active on Reels to promote the corporate 'brand'. He likes the chance to be creative, and the 'Board' likes the chance to show off the handsome CEO.

Neal Sampat (Newsroom): Neal is an OG Tumblr user, who joined the site as early as 2008. As demonstrated on the show, Neal is adept at using Twitter to cross-reference and fact-check various sources, I do think he'd be a prolific shitposter on a side account, rivaling our king @dril.

Deon Wilson (Chappie 2015): Deon is self-explanatory. he likes to support the indie social media sites that sprung up in the wake of the Fall of Twitter. He's a fan of SpaceHey because he went to Computer Camp with the engineer who started it (it's based out of Germany), which he's always wanted to visit!

Sheru “Saroo” Bierley (Lion 2016): I find it harder to deny with each passing day that Saroo Brierly isn't an Instagram thot. Look at @brockohurn on IG and tell me that they don't have the same respectful bro energy. I think Saroo likes the chance to use all the photos in his camera roll, and I think the MILFs of Instagram are grateful for the content.

Jay Menha (The Wedding Guest, 2019): The closest Jay gets to social media is the Polaroids he likes to stick up on the wall of your shared room. Sometimes, if he's having a bad time, he likes to sit in his beanbag and look at the wall. He only gets a ghost Facebook account to keep up with relatives- nothing ever is posted, ever.

David Copperfield (The Personal History of David Copperfield, 2020): I think David would do numbers on Medium.com because he can write self-prompted think-pieces that no one ever asked about, AND get paid for them! He's writing analyses of "Jeyton vs Brucas vs Leyton: One Tree Hill", and he's actually making money. It would be magic to him!

Joshua Madika (Modern Love, 2019): Joshua's social media is all on Tinder. He's perfected his profile, and he likes talking to people. It's all genuine and zero malice. Who wants to be alone with their thoughts?

Sir Gawain (The Green Knight, 2021): I once read a post about Edward Cullen texting that read, "just saw a snail . . . effervescent," and I think that's as close as Gawain should get to the internet. It's just like shitposting, but it's all for you.

Dr. ZZ Chatterjee (The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar, 2023): ZZ keeps his drama on Facebook. He's definitely showing up in comments to defend someone's mutual friend from accusations of bias when she broke up with her tiny boyfriend because she was having neck problems*. With a doctor on her side, she didn't have to post X-rays of her neck! ZZ will be beefing!

The Kid (Monkey Man, 2024): "Ted, the movie hasn't even come out yet! How can you say The Kid is a Pinterest girlie?" It's all pretty pictures with an indefinite scroll. I also bet he's a big fan of putting things in categories (see also: skittles). We'll see who's right.

*true story circa 2018 on my Facebook page.

[sevensjesper]

Modern!Hotd Targaryen siblings headcanons

I have a lot to say about Helaena and Aegon

also please send me ur ideas i have such brainrot ty

tw// substance abuse (aegon's part)

Helaena

has a butterfly tattoo

fairy light enthusiast

dresses like the 70's met the naughties with a hint of grunge fairycore

loves horror films but gets upset when they kill animals

loves astrology and tarot cards

loves crystals even though aegon laughs at her

wants a pet snake but alicent told her she cant have one (aemond is scared of them)

smokes (i do not encourage this kids!!)

luke tried to teach her to skateboard but she prefers roller skating

phoebe bridgers and gracie abrams girl

science girlie OMG STEM GIRLIE

plays sims but never gets past decorating the house and making the sims cuz she takes like 48 hours to do that alone

sometimes plays Minecraft with aegon but literally just collects cats and builds

Aemond

reads history books to try and bond with viserys

so good at sports

football, rugby you name it & he's good at it

wasn't particularly popular at school but had friends through sports teams

mama's boy but that's not a headcanon

instead of losing his eye, he has a massive scar through his eyebrow and under his eye from where Luke banged his head off the edge of a kitchen counter

so incredibly well disciplined to the point where he sometimes will not speak unless he is spoken to

he and jace are sports rivals cuz they go to opposite schools that compete against each other

i feel like I've not thought about this enough so please expect a part two where i just talk about aemond

Aegon

such a fuckboy bitch

writes fucking love songs for every new girl he dates

'I shoulda known all along, I was only the next one To take your love songs as a promise' this lyric from vicious by sabrina carpenter but its about him

OMG this bitch makes tiktoks and everyone LOVES them cuz hes a hot guy doing hot shit

PAINTS HIS NAILS

stop hes just my emo gamer bf

STOP

gamer??

no definitely a gamer.

plays league of legends (red flag but me too)

OMG anyone who plays league i bet this bitch like plays yasuo

i like how im just referring to him as bitch after being nice to aemond and helaena

i kinda love modern!aegon tho. like hes my type of man.

deep down hes a pure sweet heart

HAS BAGS UNDER HIS EYES FROM STAYING UP ALL NIGHT ON DISCORD AND GAMES

i have romanticised him into my perfect man send help

struggles with love cuz he was never shown it while young his perception of love is literally based on artificial perfection

he uses substances (alcohol nicotine etc) to cope with his issues and doesn't ever really open up

he really tries to present himself as a cruel person with no emotions but no one really ever believes him.

was really good at english in school

[siriuslytproblem28]

can't believe i forgot to update the fact that i finished art heist, baby! a few days ago :(

cw: spoilers for ahb!

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i had the ending spoiled for me, sorta, via TikTok, though i had guesses that reggie would be the one to die due to the constant foreshadowing in the text. but though calloused, I'm a hopeless romantic, so i still delluded myself into thinking something might actually be ok.

the ending was sooo bittersweet, the sweet part coming especially from the fact that this girlie is a brazilian girlie and we're basically never mentioned, unless is to utterly represent the country as a lawless land, or a crazy jungle filled with uncivilized and savage people (basically, with racist colonial and imperialist lens).

but although i cried a lot during reg's death scene, i have to admit i thought it would be sadder. don't get me wrong, it was so heartbreaking, but i think that after crimson rivers, my idea of sad just became so unbearably gigantic that it's probably concerning.

as i did, by accident in crimson rivers, a specific scene became etched with the soundtrack that was playing, and somehow fit perfectly: in cr, epiphany by taylor started playing when monty was dying in effie's arms, and back then, i misunderstood the lyric "watch you breathing, watch you breathing out" for "watch you bleeding, watch you bleeding out". tbh both fit, but my listening just made it even sm sadder and engraved in my memory. in ahb!, as well, i bet on losing dogs starts playing at reggie's death, and especially one line fell SOO beautifully over the text, that now I don't seem to remember, but it will stay with me no nonetheless.

anyways, beautiful fic, liked the characterization pretty well, though i have to admit i doubted pete untill the end, probably as some kind of ptsd from literally every single marauder fic AND original hp books 🤡

absolutely loved the dorlene there

but my highlight HAS TO GO to rosekiller

i had never really read a fic that had it, though i guessed i would enjoy the ship, and idk if it was specifically otrtbs take on those two characters, but i simply adored every single scene, line, literally everything about them. they were sooo funny and unhinged, but also laced with angst and it's just the perfect combination for me. it made me actually want to seek out specific fics where they are the main couple.

okay I'm gonna go back to reading ch 2 of my new giant marauder fic project, that i just started today ( it's desintegration) and I'll be back tomorrow to assess my first impressions, as always

i also want to review ahb! in depth, cause rn i really have to read bc i should actually just go to bed, but i need to address how much reading about so much art made my little heart warm up (i draw and paint, but had kind of a fallout with it all after i dropped out of a visual arts college course) so it was really nice to have the nerdy art discussion sprinkled on the fic.

[cashandprizes]

i was tagged by my gremlin partner in crime @mr-laveau to pick some songs and list the ships i associate them with. i am such a playlist girlie (gn) so this is very exciting for me!!! welcome to the inner machinations of my spotify~

Prissy (Alexis/Christian) - I know @autisticempathydaemon will have their own song (Hozier, I bet) for them but this is mine. It fits Christian's dorky but trying so hard vibes for me

Hot Honey Pizza/51 Shades of Honey (Guy/Honey) - SOMEONE i won't name names stole my song, so I had to pick another one! This is because of the silly jail jokes.

DAMN Polycule (FL/Damien/Huxley/Gavin/Lasko) - thank you @calicostorms bc this is from your playlist (HE MAKES SUCH GOOD PLAYLISTS Y'ALL) and like I could see FL saying this

Sam/Darlin - it was either this or save a horse ride a cowboy or pony ok this song is what I say every time I talk about the terrible amazing things I would do to my favorite southern belle (including the tiktok adlib "bend me over break my back in and fuck me from the back-") but I think it's still kind of cute and fits them

Ivan/Baby or Regulus and his listener - if you're ever met me you know I love my yanderes so much and like, Miss Twigs was NOT playing with this one (not pictured but also relevant is #1 crush by garbage)

James and his listener - I imagine his listener writing letters to give him when he (HOPEFULLY???) comes back just telling them about everything going on. It's very sappy.

Marcus/Love - speaking of yanderes <3 of course I had to pick a Vocaloid CLASSIC for this one

Alexis/Sam - I just.... this song fits them so well for me there's another Mayday Parade song that I think works too!

Not a ship, but this song makes me think of Freelancer and Caelum in the first season 💖💖

Geordi/Cutie - I mean. The title says it.

Spotify has officially said this is the maximum amount of songs I can link so that's it for now. Maybe I'll make a part two? Who knows. This is Lexi 🌕, signing off.

tagging my friends (no pressure live ur life): @calicostorms @angelnoodlesoup @just-call-me-angel @horrorscoupes @bicyclepainting @ejunkiet @gingerbreadmonsters (sorry if you were already tagged!)

[mothdruid]

Hi, babe 💌 You know what's been plaguing my mind for a while now?? rockstar AU tgm

Not necessarily rockstars, but like, what/how they would be as artists... ok hear me out KWJDKDKDK

I'm 100% sure rooster would be something like The Weeknd, bringing 80s tunes back and being super popular. He would know how to play a bunch of instruments and produce music, all thanks to his late rockstar father Goose, an absolute icon of the 80s that teached him everything he knows. (Goose would probably be part of a famous rock band with mav and ice hehe)

And hangman would be a country music star. There's no room for argument on this one lmao he'd have the most cocky annoying speeches on award shows and he'd constantly appear on those tacky gossip pages all over instagram/tiktok/twitter, showing up drunk to important events and allegedly hooking up with his fans but also being Texas' darling so he'd never flop or do any wrong on the eyes of his hardcore fans KSMSKSJDKS would definitely sneak the most foul double entendre spicy lyrics in his songs tbh...

I see bob as someone that would do music like Mac Demarco, Cults, TV Girl or Thee Sacred Souls. Something more romantic, calm and a bit of jazz influence maybe...? Songs you would listen to while reading a book or looking out a window while driving in the rain

I think payback would have some jazz influence too, like Nat King Cole or either something like New Order. Or even classic rock perhaps?? If not, I think he'd be a well-known producer like Jack Antonoff (taylor swift's producer) or Dr. Dre depending on his style

I can definitely see Phoenix as a rockstar girlie. Like Soho Dolls or Le Tigre typa beat. Or like Vic DeAngelis from Maneskin. OR OR she would sing the type of songs Mitski and Phoebe Bridges put out. She'd be so iconic plsss like when Hayley Kiyoko's fans call her lesbian jesus. Yes. Exactly.

Idk why but I think fanboy would probably be like a mixture of Steve Lacy and Kali Uchis. He'd slip spanish in his songs like kali and it would be a success I KNOW IT I feel in my bones. I bet he would serve LOOKS at the red carpet too and he'd be friends with so many artists

Coyote looks like he could pull off some mean R&B hits or even something like Tyler, The Creator. He'd have some incredible live performances and his fans would be so chill. He'd probably be the Mr. Worldwide of this generation and have a bunch of awesome collabs with a lot of artists, including his bff Jake hehe

And if they were a band??? I think bob would be a bassist and write their songs, rooster would be lead guitarist and vocalist, nat would sing too, javy would be the drummer and I haven't thought of other roles for the rest, I think I used all my brain juice on this one lmao

lmk your thoughts on this bc I can't stop thinking about it, it's such a cool concept 😩

ahhhh!!! i love love love this!! (i'm so sorry about getting to this so late)

i agree that Bradley's dad taught him everything he knows and also was famous in the 80s. i definitely know that he would make sadboy music, like the weeknd and joji. he would have some of the most beautiful music videos. i'm thinking of videos like Starboy by the weeknd and Tick Tock by joji.

and hangman? 100% correct. i think a lot of his music calls back to country music of the 90s though, a time he was nostalgic for and what influenced him to become an artist.

when i think of bob as an artist, rex orange county and mac demarco are definitely the first artists that come to mind. i think also someone like dayglow. but i also have thought that maybe he would be like marc rebilet. i could also see him as someone like tame impala.

i agree with payback being more of a producer who has made some music. i think it'd be music similar to what kendrick lamar has made. extremely impactful music. maybe something like denzel curry too. i just think his music would be very impactful. (ps. i love jack antonoff and have met him)

SZA is who comes to mind when i think of what artist natasha would be. so similar to the mitsuki and phoebe vibe. but the song Kill Bill by SZA screams nat to me. but also Silk Chiffon by MUNA also gives me nat vibes. (the versatility of woman)

i also 100% agree with your mickey analysis. i could also see him doing rap though. rich brian is who comes to mind if mickey rapped.

javy? i think javy would be closer to drake than tyler, sonically. maybe like pharrell (but his rap stuff)?? but if we are thinking out there bands, the flatbush zombies would be up that alley too. but i think that drake or maybe travis scott are the artists i think javy would be like.

[docholligay]

Eurovision Rehearsal quick takes

I’m not linking the tiktoks because I openly resent the fact that Eurovision wants me to use tiktok, but clearly I don’t care THAT much, or I wouldn’t watch them. I’m not gonna be one of those people pretending seeing Eurovision rehearsals or whatever is a right, and I HAVE to use tiktok by force. lol. I’m more self-aware than that, thanks.

ANYWAY, here’s my off the cuff takes on each of the performers who went today. YOutube clips should be up May 3rd, and also be BETTER, so any in-depth thoughts I share will be then.

These are in running order:

Norway: Can she hit anything BUT the whistle note? It is all over the place here, and considering MGP is out of its fucking mind and lets competitors use autotune--though Alessandra claims she didn’t--I wonder if we’re gonna see shaky vocals on the night. it’ll qualify anyway, the tiktoks girlies are all over this one, and televoters don’t always punish bad vocals. (YOU SHOULD START.)

Malta: Love the sparkle sweater and the use of the LED screens. Also, he can actually sing the song he represented he could sing. Very dynamic, i’m not sure I think it can save them, but it maybe DESERVES to?

Serbia: I cannot wait to see what the fuck the casual viewers make of this. Bringing the NF staging, strange discordant gamer chaos that I am strangely unopposed to? I think?

Latvia: It was nice knowing you. They can sing it, but they brought a staging that is not going to stand out in this semi and it’s just too tough.

Portugal: GIRL NO. When you said you were bringing “A luxurious and glamorous cabaret:” I assumed like, a prop. Maybe some glitter. Just a thought. Even the couch is gone.It’s 5 of you on a bare stage with lights in the back. I have so many concerns now.  She can still KILL the vocals, but the staging is not it, friends. Best dress she’s had so far though.

Ireland: OBSESSED with how much I hate this guy’s jumpsuit. There’s stairs! BOY PORTUGAL WOULDN’T STAIRS BE NICE? There’s pyrotechnics! The staging actually looks good, and he can sing while moving about the stage, I bet the odds board is ALL OVER THE PLACE rn.

Croatia: This is going to be so much fucking fun to see live, and unless they REALLY fuck it up I am going to pay human American dollars to vote for it because this MUST be in the final.

Switzerland: I am so disappointed at how they burned this kid with this song. He can SING. He can sing WELL. He can RUN ACROSS THE STAGE WHILE HITTING A STRONG NOTE, meanwhile käärijä and mae are out of breath singing and walking across stage, my god. I do not think any of that can save this, and I don’t even WANT it to be saved, I fucking hate the song and think it is in EXTREMELY poor taste for Switzerland, but GOD, Remo deserved better.

Moldova: Oh Moldova is QUALIFYING. That was great, he can move and sing with ease, his flutist is incredible, my only negative is a miss the deer antlers and don’t care for the new headgear on the gals. But I am feeling SO much more confident about a Moldova Q, we love it.

Sweden: Finally got to see the solution to the panini press problem! It looks a little rinky dink in a wide shot, but I think with the close in camera it’ll look very similar to Melfest at home. It sounded a bit like she was rushing the vocals! I’m so used to Loreen sounding perfect all the time that it was pretty jarring, and the odds changes reflect that, but when one takes the average of her performances, i’m not actually concerned.

THERE WILL BE MORE TOMORROW AND THUS I WILL BE BACK WITH MORE.

[tenseoyong]

glad to see you in your wednesday era i was wondering if youll watch the show or not. im kinda curious on your thoughts of the show and ofc were you a tyler girlie or a xavier girlie. or we could go the other route of ajax or rowan 🤭 there were so many fine men

lol it was an expected evolution wasn’t it.

i haven’t actually watched the show yet, i haven’t much had the time but im planning to start and hopefully finish it this weekend and then i can give you all my thoughts 💭 but i can say im already a xavier girlie lol what can i say i love a pretty boy with long hair in clown dress up 😩

we shall find out how down bad ill be soon enough, won’t we? not like my entire tiktok fypage isn’t entirely xavier edits or anything like that

also it’s hilarious to me that there’s people that consume media and go “hm i bet this person on the internet will like it” and wait to see when i fulfill the prophecy