#but i am feeling some type of way abt it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

subtlybrilliant · 8 months ago

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People who only get in contact/say they miss you when they need something 😒😒😒

#thank you for observing the bare minimum niceties i guess #but also #i no longer work there #and you don’t reach out/reach back when I tried to maintain social contact for like holidays and stuff #(seriously. how hard is it to just say ‘happy holidays to you too. hope ur well too!’)#idk #it wouldn’t bother me so much if i hadn’t thought last year we were friends enough to do that #like i was starting to think of them as friend friends and not just work friends #but like. none of them reached out or checked in. even tho i reached out for holidays abd beginning of the year and everything #which. ya know. hurts a bit #and now that they have a question now they wanna reach out #i mean like. i answered and was polite bc of course that is the correct thing to do #but i am feeling some type of way abt it #and i’m not sure if it is just the general discontent/depression of this time of year exacerbating things for me #or why this strikes such a nerve #but apparently it does #kiki shouts into the void #and i guess it wouldn’t bother me so much if my own family didn’t do it too #(estranged family)#only reaching out not to check on us or with genuine concern/care. only when they are fishing for gossip or being nosy abt our lives #or wanting something #idk. idk.#i just am Feeling Feelings today #and have to vent them to the void #which i guess is better than letting them consume me?#and my journal is far away at home. so. shouting into the void it is!

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lunarharp · 3 months ago

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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles

#dragon age tag #i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below #weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type #it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me #if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year #almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol #tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3 #and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me #but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me #sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points #witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too #which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3 #my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free #Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...

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ayyponine · 4 months ago

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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....

#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3 #talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut #SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time #the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me #sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression #this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma #but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa #and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age #and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID #so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them #to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate #hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself #and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside #somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before #2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces #the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah #i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok

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3416 · 7 months ago

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so what i've learned is that for mitch marner specifically any points earned in a blowout game don't count actually. especially not in a blowout game where he helped swing the momentum. also points super don't count if you got them in games 1-4 of a potential 7 games series because idk reasons. being the first maple leaf with a round 2 gwg in half a million years doesn't count the most obviously because it wasn't a game 5, 6, or 7. it doesn't matter how you got to games 5-7 but if you're not putting up points in that exact stretch of games then well you're just not built for playoff hockey apparently. unless your name isn't mitch marner of course.

REALLLL TO ALL OF THIS.... everything he's done in the playoffs is bad and he's a whiny child apparently for ? existing ? having an occasional bad game when he just came back from an injury known to continuously impact your game while you heal ? we're just gonna look over the fact that he was better in the first game than everyone that contributed in the second bc we didn't win the first, lol. amazes me that no matter how many times i read this shit, i get so worked up every time like. not even from a mitch marner fan perspective sometimes but just from the sheer lack of fucking LOGIC and then seeing hundreds to thousands of people agree? like bro this is really partially the worst fanbase in the league, lol. i am NOT ride or die with all of you stupid fucks, that's for sure.

even yesterday i was just seeing stats about how he and mo were at the top of the list of most pass to shot attempts made in the oz so far in the ENTIRE playoffs and i'm like ????????????? you'd think he was doing NOTHING just bc his linemates can't put it in, lol. i'm so tired of people saying 'the second mitch is on a non-leaf team, he'll win a cup with them' even as defense of mitch from the fanbase bc like. he's not going anywhere?????? he's got a nmc like what are we even hypothetically discussing??????? him for WHICH stud dman on the market??? letting him walk and pissing off your franchise star center while you're at it???? like what. anyway. the extension with a raise is going to hit so hard after all the 'mitch can only stay if he takes a discount' too fhijdsklfejds.

#easks #bro ill watch a team where 5 players take half the cap for the rest of eternity #i dont give a fuck #hope it stops the leafs from re-signing some guys too just to piss off the worst part of the fanbase even MORE #god.#cant even fully enjoy the leafs success bc it will somehow still be abt how mitch marner isnt good enough #which in turn makes me wanna see the leafs never win the cup just to fuck those ppl over. ok but i want 1634 cup. fkldsjklf #im not a crest above everyone type person lol #im here for mitch and auston and have attachment to some other guys but oh man #its glg forever bc my guys are gonna be leafs forever #not bc im rooting for the leafs no matter what . lmfao #ik its bc im not local that im not ride or die in the same way but i love those guys so much and am loyal to them #and will be loyal to the team they play for with no issue #i just hate such a huge section of leaf fans it makes it impossible to feel kinship lol

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asspinkie · 9 months ago

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gale: i do enjoy our conversations. what do you need?

tav: to fuck you. obviously

#i am feeling some type of way abt this man #gale of waterdeep #bg3

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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months ago

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...

#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before #is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things #the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the #weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad #not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a #prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country #my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for #treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad #as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain #shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing #to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird #when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk #i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach #out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home #somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long #term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting #whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot #i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors #i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival #unrelated

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femmefaggot · 1 year ago

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ok hi haha lol I dont rly feel like going in circles in my head forever trying to figure out whether, among other "smaller" things, being left alone in a room w only media as a child and not feeling like I had even a semblance of a personality for most of my life counts as "trauma"

a lot of these parts of me are new, I'm just recently putting names to them and it feels as though I'm developing facets of personalities in my mid 20s after a lifetime of either feeling like I'm basically just ADHD in a person, an amalgamation of kins shoved into a body, or something made of guilt Also shoved into a body.

I don't like, claim to know what this means. but I don't think a lot of my current mutuals would feel comfortable interacting w me bc I don't necessarily believe in the black and white of what plurality is. I'm not able or planning on getting any formal diagnosis and while I'm discussing this w my therapist they're very much not one to pathologize

I definitely don't feel like one person but I dont think id count for most of you as a "system" as the different parts of me feel as though theyre still developing. take all of this as you will, I'm not going to stress my body out more by trying to figure out "what" I am as I've been doing that my whole life and I'm kinda tired of it.

I know that I'm not entirely one thing and feel Enough like multiple things for myself, but blurred in a lot of ways. like some sort of gem with many different facets.

not sure where to go w this tbh take this how you will. im not comfortable saying I'm leaning one way or the other regarding system discourse, (<- not a phrase i want to use but the best shorthand i have) as I genuinely don't believe the human brain is nearly that black and white.

I'm both "me" and very much not "me" at times. idk what this means but ik I'm not comfortable saying im just pandora and im not sure im "allowed" to say im a system and im not sure if it matters, or should matter, regarding friends. im going to be like this regardless, id unfollow me if this grey area im likely to stay in bothers you

if you don't want me refollowing I'd probably block, too, as my memory is bad

#puts this in my drafts to publish at atime to cause maximum damage to my #social circle and mental health bc i LOVE conflict and pain #< A JOKE lmao this has been causing me severe distress for ages so whatever unfollow me idc #outgoing transmission #idk when im gonna publish this ive been going back n forth w my therapist a lot #rhis maybbe repetitive im just uhh tired and have been legitimately driving myself crazy overthis for ages #bc honestly like i didnt exist as a person until age 14 at least and that person #wasnt... me. isn't me they dont exist to me anymore and im not sure #the one before 19 existed either its all fractured #is that trauma?? or is it something else. does that make me endogenic to you?? i really dont know or understand #you can decide for yourself. but im not comfortable saying either way.#i barely feel comfortable existing. i dont exist? as i type this 'i' is wrong but nothing else fits so far #we could go for we and we have befkre bht so far its so nonexistent whats the opposite of i #nothing...? [ ]#some blank. the dilemma is that nothing is real.#these tags are not. genuinly i am fake.#this will get published sometime in a haze and this body will wake up to a disaster.#not enough bridges burned i guess. sure.#back 2 sleep dont send me asks abt this jst block if ur gonna block

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potatobugz · 10 months ago

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Noelle Holiday? (Yes this is a bingo request that I guess is a semi-sequel to the previous one for Susie)

thgey call her noelle holiday the way she. brightens up. your day

#deltarune #rambles #ask game #OK CONTINUED!!! APOLOGIES I WAS AT SCHOOL FOR MOST OF THE DAY #(note: i am in high school i am a teenager nightmare nightmare nightmare)#explanations for some of these: i bingoed the “some ppl are weird abt them” one #primarily because i am referring to the spamton sweepstakes thing: when ppl were hating noelle #for that one “holidaygirl1225” post where she watched susie bully kris #i think the entire exchange is incredibly interesting. cuz from noelles perspective the girl she likes is bullying her childhood friend #& i think people need to remember that like. noelle is a child #i wish i could properly articulate thid #augh. it just bothers me ? aaahhh??? im struggling my words are failing #i really like noelle regardles like hooly fart shes so interesting. i love her i lauv her #silly girl. noelle having q blog is so funny. i love that she types like that #in all fairness i Live On Tumblr so im not entirely sure how much of the dr fandom is weird abt her but i remember seeing it when #spamton sweepstakes first came out #i am sorry i cant properly explain why i feel that way i hope u understand somewhat at least *snigfle*

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moonlit-escape · 2 months ago

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us when the weird woman who is weird and has said she is weird and has shown she is weird and literally wrote multiple entire shows and miniseries to show off how weird she is, is actually pretty fucking weird

#tldr; anyway all this below to say.#it's okay to like a weird cringefail show and not have to point out it and its creator are weird all the time #it's okay we all watched the channel we all know the layer of hell we're in together that aph puts us through #sorry its just something i noticed a lot here #like i dunno i guess im just confused on why everyone acts so surprised that this show is weird at points #when its written by a weird woman #and weird has good and bad things about it #at least she's not the type of weird that other mcyt of her time turned out to be #i dunno i dunno #im jus here sthinkin #eli rambles on #also this is not about the people who casually complain every once in a while abt what they dont like abt the weirdness #i mean i do it too. i did use 'us'#its more specifically abt those people who feel the need to bring it up constantly as if we didn't all watch the same show #and with everything they interact with they sprinkle in her not being the greatest person as if it's some secret #and since they acknowledge it all the time that makes them like. i dunno like they have to justify themselves liking this show #which i totally get im that way sometimes with the things i like that i find embarrassing #but when it's so constant it starts to feel like genuine guilt over enjoying something #and i haaaaate that #like bro why am i feeling guilty for enjoying something im not catholic

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unproduciblesmackdown · 8 months ago

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truly lmao 2024 lambda literary award finalist wynnstannery

#have probably already heard of these awards w/o absorbing it but has a sizable [twitter acct you follow follows this acct] overlap for one #wikipedia blurb ''to recognize the crucial role lgbtq writers play in shaping the world...celebrate the very best in lgbtq literature''#Lol! naturally everyone set to laugh abt Individually being lambda award finalist Authors amidst 40+ anthology contributors. sure #and of course oh absolutely crucial cam stone page. we did make the back of book blurb too after all #born of [crucially soph nothingunrealistic (a) investigates that akd role which (ai) leads to me also checking it out. later (b)#investigates this Call For Submissions For All Trans F&F Zine which (bi) leads to me going ''oh so true cam stone Needs to be there'']#all originating in The Wrong Fake ''Fans'' Show Up For Billions By Way Of Beloved Character Winston lmao #b/c fr imagine the trans f&f zine Doesn't have a Did You Know That???? page abt a delightful akd role & canon nonbinary f&f character #but this amidst Plenty of ''fake'' ''wrong'' ''fans'' messing around w/the concept of Fast & Furious as a Work throughout #as i said & got the feedback of [hell yes You Get It] that the premise Guarantees you get a very Varied & inherently Playful response #not b/c playfulness need be ''unserious'' but it sure need not be ''serious.'' like f&f itself; as part of [the premise guarantees it]#& that the Range of ways ppl can approach this broad concept is like the Range of ways ppl can approach the broad concept of Gender lol #& not Unearnest but needing no Gravitas / ''serious'' ''legitimacy'' guaranteed in turn to ''validate'' your efforts #and your not being the ''right'' or ''expected'' audience getting the perhaps straight(tm)forwardly intended experience here lmao #so in many ways it did feel very resonant / relevant to wynnstannery #embracing [the one use of: editor's note!] and [the one use of: the word ''autistic''!]#2 trans 2 furious #which is probably gonna get a physical reprint sooner than later; pdfs still available despite the lack of link there #was already The Intention if vaguely so; now with the added ''can put the 2024 Lambda Award Nominee / Finalist on the cover lol''#page 54 (i believe) brought to you by a couple of quantnoisseurs; rushed to finish last minute then ft. some post deadline edits lmao #classic....nonzero other works i've Heard Of! nice #which: sure does seem like the focus here is like ''did you hear about these books? :)'' as many ''awards'' can ultimately be #like i Am hearing about them now. had seen abt Being Ace on twitter interesting interesting. hi honey i'm homo hell yeah #do we have one or two f&f films left? put cam stone cameo in there for real. Fast furious worth the effort worth the cost #& just shoutout to the like bifurcation of Akd Role Types. [intense in a relatively restrained affect way. some dramatic flair for sure]#and [spontaneous! vivacious! bright! playful! pretty emotionally open!] that's right lmao

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dandyshucks · 2 months ago

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i havent even thought about what starter im going to choose omg... i don't think i have any preferences towards type, i usually just end up liking pkmn based on vibe and aesthetics LMAO, and I've never played any game except for platinum (and I haven't even finished my first playthrough of it....) so i have zero experience in choosing starters,,,, THIS IS EXCITING

#choosing to be excited abt this rather than stressed fhdkdl #i like how litten looks but i dont rly like incineroar #actually i dont know if i rly like any of the third evolutions of the starters #okay wait actually i take it back. i just looked and the third evo of rowlet is fun #im so sorry to incineroar likers and primarina likers 😭#incineroar looks silly to me and primarina just annoys me DBFJDML its calls in the anime were rly grating on my nerves after a bit 😭😭#rowlet in its first evo doesnt appeal to me a whole lot tbh which is funny bc now that i look at its evo line i rly like the others #but rowlet itself is just kind of ... shrug. like it looks very polite but it doesnt have any sort of Spark to it yknow?#its just a polite looking orb fjdksl #which is perhaps the charm of it but i feel like its an orb w a bowtie and its very plain fjdksl #theres not a lot of ✨Personality✨ to its appearance #WHICH IS PERHAPS RICH COMING FROM ME. THE INFAMOUS PIPLUP ENJOYER. DNDKSL #i think im gonna go w rowlet though which is funny bc thats the one I thought i Wouldn't be going with #i like popplio and litten in terms of design way more but i just dislike both their third evos too much to choose them 😭#WAIT WHY DOES ROWLET HAVE TWO TYPES #I THOUGHT ALL BASE STARTERS ONLY HAD ONE TYPE??? HUH??#okay anyways i gotta stop chattering djdksl i am sitting outside i should not be looking at my phone LMAO im gonna do some sketching #yall... im choosing another bird pkmn as my starter.... i fear i may be developing a pattern of some kind LOL #dandy.cmd

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phagodyke · 8 months ago

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thinking abt the touden siblings got me sniffling and weeping....

#im.too emotional abt them to properly explain #just rly glad to see autistic characters in media that i can deeply relate to and share experiences with. its such a rare thing #and i feel so protective of them i dont give a fuck abt fandom normally but some ppls bad takes lately are getting under my skin #like just say u hate autistic people and leave. stop calling laios a fucking freak im going to kill you with my bare hands #ppl think theyre so smart and funny for making posts like haha hes thr type of autistic that makes everyone uncomfortable and wish he-#would shut up or go away. im going to start hitting u with a brick until ur a bloody pulp #and thw way ppl treat falin so differently just bc shes not a guy. even tho theyre both clearly autistic and struggle socially #like wow thats crazy. do you act this way abt autistic ppl irl too #whatever just liberally blocking ppl abt it i dont fucking wanna see ur stupid posts #anyway.. back to thjnking abt their backstories and crying a little. masculinely of course #man i am soooo tired im so glad its the weekend i want to melt into a puddle and soak into the carpet and stain it forever #but we dont.have carpet.in this flat so.i guess ill just go to bed......#well maybe a little elden ring first #i would reallt like to draw sometime this weekend too. need to muster up some creative courage #but thats a problem for tomorrow... zzz #.diaries

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oysterie · 7 months ago

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playing so much eo luminous the last few days i tetris effecting fish swimming in the corners of my vision at all times.

#i will probably write more in depth how i feel abt it but basically what i expected from initial trailer. not a fifty dollar game but i am #autistic and have been grinding the event map i want to crack top 100 #at 160 now. uhm it sure is a game. there are no jellyfish in the game i didnt realize tilsomeone on reddit pointed it out lol #crazy. was talking to my brother abt it and he compared it to starfield which like. mmhm.#ive literally only played the event map i got the game a week late so like i have not experienced the actual generation part but still.#but like. slow collectathon mixed w pokemon snap free roam and random ppl swimming in circles w me is fun enough i will get my moneys worth #add seals to the game. i dont expect a giant content update but i would like a like. heres another fifty animals w like seals and waterbird #and jellyfish yknow. i dont expect a true story mode or even an aquarium mode (i never cared abt the aq in the original games so idc either #way) but i do hope for like some more types of spawn in formations and then more animals. pipe dream is zoom in spots but idk how possible #that is w the shared maps. though i figure its no diff than ppl freezing in place for the cutscenes.#i will write out my oficial thoughts probably next week but for now i will no life this game etc etc. yay #went and typed in the code for the softlock item from reddit so i am just going and starting to collect salvage the last hour #so its fun to read item descriptions

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goldiipond · 8 months ago

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HARVEST MOON??? omg you just unlocked a memory from like, a decade ago. I used to be obsessed w the animal parade characters

YEEEEAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the only game in the series ive played is tale of two towns i was obsessed with it as a kid. it was really nice to come back to, all the characters are so fun and charming and it brought back a lot of memories <3

#skye's ramblings #harvest moon has always been a series ive been interested in but i havent tried any other titles. mayb some day ..#iknow the games are great it definitely is a type of series i feel like i can just sort of relax with yknow. ilike life sim games like that #but yah tott has really good characters man i maxed out my friendship w everyone by like year 3. theyre all so fun #theyre really really fun to draw too they were a nice way to start easing back into art <3 #also made my character a guy so i could do the girls romance routes but it was really funny seeing the guy i chose in my og file again #because it was cam and let me tell you. of the guys in this game cam is 100% the guy i'd expect an unaware lesbian to choose #also i picked reina this time which makes that even funnier to me. my type is socially awkward dorks that are really autistic about plants #speaking of reina ilove reina. ilove reina soo much. love her design even if i am so confused abt how her hair works. i love reina #love the non-romanceable villagers too my favorite's probably mako. ifucking love mako #bowIetta #shrimps squad

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wormsdyke · 2 years ago

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experiencing whiplash from the silly little television show that i was so excited to premier happening to hit every single trigger point for my silly little mentally ill brain so i fully cannot watch it

#i am so close to having to blacklist neverafter which is insane and the worst #but i jaw saw a gifset abt like destiny being somebody’s project instead of a naturally existing thing #and brother. i do not have a firm enough grasp of reality to not go down a paranoia spiral #which sucks! bc they were like ooooh horror season and i am not like scared off #the horror is fine and i enjoy it it’s just. some of the things are worded in such a specific way that it feels unnervingly personal #to the extent that even typing about it makes me nauseous. how does he know #it looked so good :( i love the intrepid hero campaigns :( but brennan lee mulligan is effectively chasing me with a knife #i don’t know. i’m upset i can’t enjoy it and embarassed that i can’t do it even tho i shouldn’t be

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dan-crimes · 1 year ago

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Mfs can't understand a blunt mf they always gotta try and read between the lines or straight up deny the words you're saying and deny how you feel

#I just woke up so Imma overshare without worrying abt it lmao #like yeah people should be wary there are some messed up people out there but like #I'm being straight up with you I do not have the energy to keep up a lie and I just think it is much easier to have clear communication #people just instantly assume that I'm up to something or not being sincere they don't even give me a chance #bcuz if they did they would instantly be able to tell that I am just like that and I am being as straight up as I possibly can #people just aren't use to that ig #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that's why I just assume everyone is telling the truth to me and if they did lie my trust in them would break thru those lies #they will eventually tell me the truth if they feel they can trust me and if they don't then that is their business #if someone spends all their time formulating lies for me then that is /their/ energy wasted. not mine lmao #just like let go bro it ain't a big deal to just say stuff straight up you just gotta figure out the right ways to say stuff is all #ya just gotta be real with urself and sometimes shit it confusing af and that is normal brains tend to just fuck around #situations aren't black and white so you might seem hypocritical but again that's life #the best you can do is show how you feel thru actions when words fail you #and people might not understand you but at least you know how you are and you either accept it or make efforts to get better #~.~ me when I get too into it listen I got a little sibling who doesn't understand lots of stuff like I'm trying to teach them things #so I kinda go into this mode a lot of just like trying to explain stuff mostly abt understanding emotions and that other people feel things #I also talk abt this stuff with my other sibling but they are older so it's usually a lot of trying to figure out brain stuff #and trying to come to an understand etc etc I like to talk about these types of things and I might not have all the answer but like #I try. it doesn't work for everyone but hopefully it can at least help people discover what DOES help them #like it might seem like I value honesty a lot but I honestly don't care if people lie to me that is their business ✌️😋#like it only bothers me when it's obvious like Oh I didn't put that dish there I put it somewhere else Well buddy ur the only other person #who else did it or like Oh I didn't say anything I didn't say a word and it's like Buddy I know you did it just own up it's over with #people lie a lot in an attempt to avoid getting in trouble and specifically people getting angry at them but like I'm not the type to argue #I'm not gonna get mad and if I do I'll cool down pretty easily as long as we actually talk things out but like I don't get mad often #I don't really mind most things like if you talk shit behind my back that's not my business lmao just goes to show ur own character #like so many things are not my problem and simply show ur own judge of character #if you don't like me simply don't talk to me 😌 it's really not a big deal I don't mind at all #anyway I ramble... I could likely ramble more but I assume Imma run outta tag space soon

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