#but i am afraid i am eating it all up

[totheidiot]

the utter juxtaposition of how tv drama light reacts to the death note and their murders vs how animanga light reacts to the death note and their murders. is the most funniest thing in the world. because like in the jdrama he is. undone. he is sick with himself and almost vomits. he trashes the notebook and wants to burn it. he hurls the notebook across a building and means to kill himself over it. he goes above and beyond whereas in the manga, his reaction are a little tamer but justified. he loses sleep over it, he loses weight. but then in the anime he kills a guy and he is. welp. i guess we are doing murder now.

[transmechanicus]

I’ve had a deep seated fear of the flesh-eating undead type zombie since like age 6 and i think i finally figured out why it formed before i had ever seen so much as a nanosecond of media depicting them.

See, in my actual nightmares, while there are very much stereotypical hordes of ravenous, rotting creatures, there is always an awareness to my dream self that they can be tricked. If i cannot run or fight or hide i must convince them from my behavior that i’m one of them, that i am already eaten, infected, dead, and returned. This is not a common thing in zombie media, yet it’s always part of my dreams.

I’ve realized in the last couple months as i’ve navigated new social situations and stressful performances as part of my PhD, that there’s a pretty clear core to why zombies are scary to me, someone with lifelong struggles to conceal and suppress autistic and transgender behaviors. It’s the idea of being recognized as something different and being savagely killed for it. It’s the idea that even your own family could turn on you for your differences. It’s the idea that you’re under constant threat and scrutiny of your entire being by everyone around you. That nowhere is safe enough to protect you if enough people recognize you’re not like them. Which y’know, i’m sure is a completely relatable fear for everyone reading this, right? Right? Why are you opening your mouths? D:

[starry-bi-sky]

Clone^2 Damian

If you really think about, Damian's situation in the clone^2 au is... kinda tragic? Especially in the early months of his arrival. Like,,, think about it. Damian has always known he was a clone of Damian Wayne, that he was a copy of the blood son. There was nothing 'original' about him, not even his name (of which at least Danny has that). He was just... a replacement. A disposable one, to boot.

And he knew that, to an extent, by the time he was six years old. he might not have been actively acknowledging it -- he's six years old -- but deep down he knew. And like, he's six years old. Every small child craves the love and affection of an adult, especially their parents, and even though he knew he was clone, I imagine he still considered - and still does consider, somewhat - Talia and Bruce as his mother and father. And I really doubt he was... getting it?

Now, I know Talia loves Damian, her son. At least in some interpretations she does, and in this au she does. But... a clone of her son? I'm not so certain if she would have the same affection for baby Dames as she would for Damian. I don't think she would treat him badly, but I don't think Talia would treat him warmly either. Kinda just, distant. Colder than she would have been with OG Damian.

And, I know I've mentioned Damian's arrival from Danny's point of view, and its kind of comical kind of insane from his perspective -- a little boy clone of Damian Wayne falls through a portal and immediately attacks him. That sounds like a bad joke.

But, if you think of this from Damian's point of view? It's like he just got dropped into a scary movie. Like, think about it. You're six years old, and suddenly a portal, as green and as swirling as your grandfather's pools, opens up beneath your feet and sucks you through.

After an intense bout of vertigo, you end up in a massive, urban city -- completely different from the rural mountain palace that you lived in for the last six years of your life, and in this city, you don't know any of the language. You don't know what anyone is saying, you can't read any of the signs - you are completely stranded, away from home.

And then, to make things worse, you're facing a figure with a terrifying mask and eyes as burning green as the portal you fell through. Of course Damian's first instinct, six years old, is to attack. He's terrified.

And this figure, he's not a good fighter, but he's fast, and he dodges you quickly. He grabs your sword with his hands, and tries to restrain you, saying something in a language you don't know. Naturally, Damian is just scared. He's six! He'd just be learning how to read if he was normal child going to school.

This figure halfway through the fight yanks off his mask -- he realizes you're scared -- and looking at you now, is a youthful version of your father. This is a clone of your dad, someone you have never met but, six years old, still wants to. Damian gets defensive. This is an imposter.

But this imposter eventually gets you home with him - and he's using his little box, his phone, to communicate with you through a mechanical voice speaking in arabic. and it's frustrating. The boy, the imposter, can say whatever to you just fine, but trying to talk back is a hassle and a half. He's six, he doesn't have that much patience.

He wants to go home.

And so he keeps trying to run away. He keeps trying to find out of this hellish concrete jungle, and he keeps getting lost. It's loud, and busy, and there are people talking to you and you don't understand them, and there are rules and signs you don't understand - Damian tries to cross the street and nearly gets hit by a car. He doesn't know how the road signs work, he was never taught. They didn't get to that.

And he gets lost. And it gets dark, and Damian is brave, but he is six, and this is the worst stress he's been under in all his six years of life. He wants, desperately more than anything, to go home. Why wouldn't he? The only stable... semi-stable environment he was in just got ripped out from under his feet, literally! He wants his mother.

And it's not happening.

But there's something good to be said, at least. The imposter that looks like his father always comes and finds him, no matter what. He could have left that morning, and he will find Damian at midnight, frazzled and worried, and carrying an extra jacket with him because it is cold in Amity Park and Damian is six years old.

And sometimes Damian attacks him - he's scared and stressed and he doesn't want to be here. And every time he catches the sword. Even though Damian can see it cut into his hand and pearls of blood well up and stains his fingers. Even though Damian can see him wince in pain and bite his lip, he still catches it.

But with that little box, he coaxes Damian to come back with him. It's cold, it's dark, Amity Park is unsafe at night. They can figure something out tomorrow, please. And every time, he agrees, reluctantly. And the imposter takes the extra jacket he brought with -- a flannel, a hoodie, a jacket -- and he wraps it around him. It's warm, Damian's clothes are not that thick, and even though he thinks he might hate this imposter, he still sticks close to his legs as he leads him down the street.

And sometimes the imposter carries him, because Damian's shoes are not that thick, and he cuts his foot on broken glass while they're walking home. The imposter sits in the bathroom with him and carefully cleans the cut out, and makes sure it doesn't get infected.

There's hope you know, he still has it. His mother will be looking for him. She'll be worried. He's important to them. Damian may not be the original, but he is still a blood son. He is still her son. She will come find him. This nightmare will end soon. He can go home.

And then weeks pass, and nothing. Then months, and nothing. His family is not coming for him, and it hurts. Hurts more than anything. And yet while that happens, the boy he's attacked, and hurt, teaches himself arabic in order to speak to him. He takes Damian out of the house one afternoon and buys him new clothes, or tries to. And then he keeps buying him new clothes. He gives him blankets and gives up his bed to him until they can get him one himself, and steadily he teaches Damian english.

This boy is kind. Kinder than Damian's ever experienced, and he doesn't know what to do with it. He's devastated by the fact that he is not as important to his family as his family is to him. What do you do when you're six years old and you learn something like that? When a random stranger who looks like your father is kinder to you, and cares more about you than your family did?

And then Damian tells him he's a clone. He's Damian Wayne's clone, and he tells him his purpose - that their grandfather made him to kill him. And the boy, the imposter, Damian thinks he probably already knows that he's a clone. But he doesn't say that. He just nods, and asks him if he wants to tell his original about him.

Damian says no. He doesn't want to. He's tired of living in the shadow of his original. He wants to keep this to himself. This is his. For once, all of this is his.

And to his surprise, the imposter doesn't try and convince him otherwise. He just nods, and says okay. And when Damian asks why, the imposter - his brother - looks at him and says.

"I don't care about Damian Wayne. I care about you." And in Damian's gobsmacked silence, his brother continues. He tells him that if Damian doesn't want to tell his original that he exists, then they don't need to. They don't need to worry about the LoA going after him, because clearly if his 'grandfather' needs to make a clone of Damian in order to take him out, then whatever it was that Damian Wayne was doing to keep himself safe, was working.

"Wayne already has people in his corner, he's got Gotham's army of vigilantes to keep himself safe." his brother says with his eyes as blue as moonlight. "You, however. Do not." And he continues, and says that if Damian Wayne has the same training as Damian does, then he will be fine. He doesn't need to be aware of his clone. Because if DW doesn't know about Damian, then the LoA doesn't either.

And here's the thing. Damian would not have survived in the LoA for long. Not as a clone. No matter what, he was going to die no matter what he did, and sooner rather than later. The sword of Damocles was always hanging above his head in the League of Assassins.

That portal, and meeting Danny, saved his life. There's no way around it. And to an extent Damian knows this even at six years old. He may not be aware that he would've died, but he knows that meeting Danny was the best thing to happen to him.

It's no wonder after that, that Damian is as clingy to Danny as he is. Danny is the first person he's met to offer him unconditional love, with no strings attached, only pure affection.

[thebirdandhersong]

Lol

[cuteniarose]

What I imagine Suiren and Vaatu’s ‘friendship’ in @rokurookajima’s Metalbanders verse to be like, as told by memes I found in the depths of my pinterest memes board

(Feat. Some commentary because I am Having Thoughts)

I apologise for how grainy it is but you just know that these two are the definition of WLW-MLM hostility

She gets him body wash for his birthday one year. greasy stinky bastard man (/affectionate) (/you cannot convince me that I am wrong about the state of Vaatu’s personal hygiene. Have you ever met a teenage boy) (/I have not showered in a week I have full right to say this)

Headcanon that Suiren knew she was a lesbian since she was a wee lass so her gaydar is crazy good and she literally went “I know what you are” as soon as she first met Vaatu. Except he very much was not aware yet and she knew he’d never figure it out on his own. But if she tells him he’s gay outright he’d reject it. So she’s left being the Ryuk to his Light Yagami, hovering over his shoulder whispering “gay gay homosexual gay” and telling him to google yaoi

She means it with love... I’m pretty sure

“Dude you’re talking like my uncle cut it out”

She’s his only friend TOLERABLE ALLY fr

Okay so we’ve established that Vaatu is a freak but the only reason he and Suiren get along is because she’s very much a freak too she’s just got a pretty face to hide it behind. She literally cannot talk like a normal person it somehow always boils down to smth like this

Suiren likes Ghibli movies. Vaatu thinks himself too much of an edgelord to watch Ghibli movies. Unfortunately for him, Suiren doesn’t care about what he thinks. He’s going to watch Ponyo with her and he’s going to LIKE IT

(She catches him humming “Ponyo Ponyo Ponyo fishy in the sea” afterwards and never lets him live it down)

After a certain point he just starts talking like this all the damn time. She’s accepted her fate

BONUS ROUND: Suiren being a useless lesbian and Vaatu judging her severely

[mercless]

🗡 mad cowboy disease....

[milo-is-rambling]

I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?

[clancyycat]

sorry for depression posting about my birthday i promise it’s not for attention lmfao

[slaygentford]

Do you think the portrait in the coffin room is of Gabriellle? Do you think Lestat loves Louis because he reminds him of his mother?

AND ALL HER LIFE CAME TO HER DEFENSE, the years and years of suffering and loneliness, the waste in those damp hollow chambers to which she’d been condemned,

AND THE BOOKS WHICH HAD BEEN HER SOLACE,

and the children who had DEVOURED HER AND ABANDONED HER,

and the pain and disease, her final enemy,

which had in promising release PRETENDED TO BE. HER FRIEND.

[seraphonfire]

i should probably get that checked

[jorvikzelda]

truly believed id come out of my migraine/post-migraine dissociation trenches last night, but then i woke up at fucking 3:30am and jesus fuck the sheer amount of real and Clear everything felt rivals every other waking minute of my life i think. Very interesting to happen upon myself in the mirror and have it feel true for the first time in something like 24 hours that it is me looking back, especially since in said past 24 hours I shaved all my hair off,

[hakusins]

me: damn my stomach hurts rlly badly, i wonder why?

also me: skips breakfast and dinner and only eats one big lunch

[sureuncertainty]

at least now i've gone through an important tumblr rite of passage, watching a longtime mutual become a radfem :/

[allylikethecat]

I just posted the All the King's Horses update and I tagged it as "Happy Friday!!" and realized I missed out on the golden opportunity of having On a Friday be my Friday update fic. Oh well

[skypiea]

if u were fat as a kid u spend so much time being fat as an adult unraveling the absolute mess of behaviors u had beaten into u by society and media and maybe even people you love. Learning to accept seconds when you’re hungry, learning to eat around other people in general, to wear clothes you like instead of ones that “flatter your body type” (ie obscure as much of your silhouette as possible). telling urself its fine to become visibly winded after doing a strenuous activity in public and u dont need to hide away in a corner or side room until youve recovered. letting yourself eat food you like. existing in public without shame. these things creep up on you growing up without u even realizing it and suddenly theyre a part of you. and it sucks so bad. but it feels so liberating to be free of them

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

be me 2 years ago, sitting in a chair.

pondering life, disheveled and sleep deprived.

Me: wait, people who murder and eat people are not okay.

me: what, wait....... WAIT WHAT WAIT WAIT WAIT?!!????

me: what the fuck where did that come from???

Me: NO WHY DID I THINK THAT, WHAT THE FUCK.

Me: why did it take until right now to recognise that, what the fuck.

Me: why did I think it was completely normal, ethical, and not a bad thing to murder and eat people.

Me: why have I held this belief so long??? where did It even COME FROM????????

Me: I am so confused, it's wrong??? since when???? am I stupid????

Me: eh, no harm no foul.