#but i am a little pissed that my algorithm is like this TO GET ME TO WATCH IT

[eepzie]

downside of the tumblr for you page is that the algorithm is ad coded just like the rest of em

[sodacowboy]

I’m so glad I’m starting to recognize when I need to stop scrolling and forcibly remove myself from the internets

[boiohboii]

How would that keep us safe?

(Kimi Raikkonen x pregnant!wife!reader)

Inspo

When a formula 1 driver's car fails on them, they would a. be angry, b. go straight to their engineers, c. stay in the team's motor home.. but not kimi raikkonen, no sir, especially not with his pregnant wife on a yacht on her own.

or

in which Sebastian Vettel, Mark Webber and Jenson Button make fun of the infamous ice man for being head over heels for his wife so he just decides to double down.

WARNINGS: not proof read (when do I ever proof read this stuff), no sense of timeline whatsoever, just a small crackhead fic that came to mind. Thank you insta algorithm for the Kimi edits, the man is so fine omg, solid dilf right here people.

Masterlist

"God," yn huffed as she, for an accurate description, waddled alongside her husband, Kimi Raikkonen into the Mclaren garage "if you don't keep it in your pants next time I will chop it off."

"Yes dear." Kimi replied with a smile on his face, hiding his laughter as best as he could to spare himself the lecture that would inevitably make him laugh harder- he can't help it, his wife is much more adorable trying to give him an earful with her puffed cheeks, stomping feet and her belly looking like it's about to pop at any second.

It hadn't even been 30 minutes before yn started to feel the heat getting to her, making her fan herself with the collar of her shirt while glaring at the fan that evidently did nothing to help her out.

"Everything alright dear?"

"No, no!" yn turned to look at her husband "it's so fucking hot i feel like my skin is melting off and your daughter wouldn't stop kicking my bladder so no, nothing is fucking alright!"

While the engineers around gulped, scared for their lives, Kimi bit his lips to avoid smiling at his very cute, frustrated wife. He had gotten used to her snapping at him whenever any little thing annoyed her, he knew it's the least he can do and she always apologises so no harm done really.

"It's okay, here, how about you go watch the race from the yacht? Will that be better?" Kimi whispered as he stood behind his wife with his hands underneath her belly, lifting it up to give his wife some rest.

"Oh my god," yn groaned in relief "I really needed that, I love you."

Staying like that for a few minutes, yn agreed that it would be much better if she watched the race from the yacht in her swimming suit, the atmosphere and the clothing would definitely make it much more comfortable for her. And just as she was about to leave, new company arrived.

"Ohhh, did he piss you off enough to leave him before a race?"

"Damn Kimi, don't make a pregnant woman that mad, especially not your wife."

The voices of Sebastian Vettel and Jenson Button joined the couple, along with the laugh of Mark Webber.

"Oh, shut up." As much as Kimi tells yn that he would rather eat chalk than willingly hang out with these guys, he is indeed fond of them.

"He didn't piss me off," yn pulled her husband down so she could kiss him, smiling upon hearing two of the three newcomers groan and a whistle (of course it's sebastian) "i just feel like I will burst any second so I am going to watch the race from One More Toy"

"What the fuck is one more toy?"

"Oh, it's kimi's yacht."

"Our yacht."

Placing one palm on her belly while his other rests on her cheek, Kimi smiled at his wife "be safe, yes?"

"Yeah, of course."

Giving her a kiss on her forehead, Kimi let go of his wife, watching her head towards his yacht with the help of one of the interns.

"Be safe." Came the mocking voice of Jenson Button

"I'll be so safe." Sebastian continued as they both reincarnated the way Kimi and Yn were standing a few seconds ago; Jenson's hands on Sebastian's stomach and cheek

"I'm going to kill you on this track."

Deciding to join, Mark stood in between Sebastian and Jenson, breaking up their proximity and placing his arms around their shoulders "but how would that keep us safe?"

"An engine failure, yet again from Mclaren."

"It seems like Raikkonen is the one who will retire this race, what a shame."

"Everyone was hoping for him to win this race, he had been phenomenal these past few races giving one stellar performance after the other, truly a waste to see him go this early into the race."

"Well, it looks like Kimi is going to walk to the garage."

"That is insane, it's like a 20 minute walk, no?"

"And we are back, and oh my god, there is Kimi Raikkonen in his yacht, he hasn't got a shirt on, with his wife on his lap, the father to be could not care less in this moment ladies and gentlemen."

"What a legend, the Iceman strikes again everyone, leaving the race to be on a yacht with his family. And oh my god, it seems that the couple are having the time of their lives on their yacht 'one more toy' with snacks all around and their hands all over each other."

[thewertsearch]

GT: Well ive thought about it. GT: Even went downstairs to check the great vaulty doodad. GT: And predictably the infernal contraption is nowhere to be found. TT: Well yeah, Jake. TT: That's sort of the point. TT: Thrill of the hunt and all.

Ok, I think I get what's going on here.

Jake's Dreambot is probably the last remaining source of uranium on the entire island, and the AR is turning its retrieval into a game of hide-and-seek.

I'm not sure why Jake hadn't already retrieved this particular chunk of uranium, especially since he has no use for the robot himself. Maybe he was keeping it operational for sentimental reasons?

TT: I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure. […] GT: I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome. GT: I just prefer the idea of adventures which i can actually win.

Jake's picturing a LIVING GRANDSON SMACKDOWN - and, frankly, so am I. That robot's being piloted by an absurdly advanced AI, and I'm pretty sure Jake doesn't have any combat experience.

Winning, in this case, is shorthand for 'waiting for the AR to take pity on you'.

TT: It seems there is a 76.10395784% chance you are pussying out on me. Are you pussying out on me, Jake?

Now, to be fair, that one would only work if Jake had agreed to this challenge beforehand. After all, you can't pussy out of something you never pussied into.

GT: It seems it seems it seems!!! GT: It seems there is a million percent chance that you say it seems way too much and do it just to sound more like a lame robot from a movie and also probably just to piss me off! […] TT: Have you ever stopped to think that while I may be bound to processes inside the glasses of a real and incredibly cool guy, my algorithms in cognitive totality comprise a conscious entity not far short of the experiential and emotional complexity of a human being? GT: Oh malarkey. GT: YOU ARE A TIN CAN. ROBOTS DONT HAVE FEELINGS.

Jake, it's been sixty seconds since you complained about him pretending not to have feelings.

TT: I do have feelings. And you're shitting on them. TT: It sucks. GT: Oh. GT: Um. GT: Im sorry then if thats the case.

Well, that's something, at least - but I don't think Jake really understands why the AR is offended, so I'm worried it's just going to happen again in their next argument.

How long has the Responder existed for, anyway? Jake seems familiar with his schtick, so he's probably not brand-new - but at the same time, Jake's surprised apology makes it sound like the AR has only recently started to express feelings.

Maybe the AR has existed for years, but hasn't been sentient for years. Like, it really did just start as a primitive response script, but Bro kept uploading more of his personality onto it, until it slowly began to think and feel. Fascinating idea, I have to say.

GT: It can just be difficult to drum up sympathy for a program that presents itself as an impostor so often. GT: Maybe if you werent so ready to insist you were the genuine article all the time? Or didnt make it so confusing for me… GT: I think it would be best if we henceforth treated you as a totally distinct… uh… THING from my buddy.

Hey, it's not like the AR can stop imitating Bro. Even if he wanted to have his own identity, he's currently bound to the response script of someone else's Pesterchum account. When he talks, he's forced to do it through Bro's handle.

All evidence points to the Responder being a thinking, feeling being with his own inner world - which makes it a little ethically dubious to force him to be Bro's secretary. The guy shouldn't be treated as a bargain-bin Bro, the same way that Davesprite wasn't a backup Dave. We all saw how that ended, and it sure wasn't pretty.

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

So for some reason last night the YouTube algorithm started recommending to me foster parent content and that led me down a rabbit hole where I read some stories that truly pissed me off on the children’s behalf. Two stories were of, in my opinion lazy foster parents who didn’t want to be bothered with their foster daughters hair and were looking for ways to get it cut really short without getting in trouble because in the U.S you can’t cut a foster kids hair without permission. I was still pissed about these stories when I woke up and as I’m snowed in today I channeled that anger into a little Cabin prequel ficlet. So enjoy and if your snowed in like I am stay safe!

****************************************************************************************************

Norm rubbed at his tired eyes as he went over one of his cases. He was working through his lunch break and desperate for just a little rest but was far too busy for either. There were just too many children in need of a safe place to stay for him to stop. Vetting foster families, coordinating placements, and taking care of the kids in his group home mattered more to him then almost anything else, equally only to his love for his wife Trudy.

He was just about to start falling asleep sitting up when his work phone rang, jolting him to attention. “This is Norm Spellmen.”

“Hi Mr. Spellmen. This is Debra Lebowitz, Miles' foster mother.” Norm repressed the urge to groan. Mrs. Lebowitz was a fine foster on paper. Her family was upper middle class. Active and well respected in the community. But their devout Evangelicalism always made him hesitate to send any of his Eywa worshiping kids to them. According to a few of them the Lebowitz’s made snide comments about their faiths here and there but that wasn’t enough for Norm to be able to keep them away. Recently he had needed a quick placement for his most difficult charge - Spider Socorro. The boy himself had a heart of gold. Norm would jump into traffic for that kid. It was Spider’s psycho father that kept the poor boy constantly on the move. At only eight years old he’d already had thirty seven different foster placements.

“Yes Mrs. Lebowitz, how can I help you,” Norm asked, his fatigue clear in his voice.

“Well I was just thinking that Miles’ hair was getting really long and so I would like your permission to get it cut.”

Norm once again fought the urge to groan. When he had dropped Spider off his hair had been shoulder length. By law Mrs. Lebowitz couldn’t change that without Norm’s say so and he would never agree. Ever since Spider had been brought in he had loved having long hair. When he was really little he’d cry and fight whenever the scissors were brought out leading Norm to simply stop. He believed that no matter how young, that children deserved personal autonomy. Spider might not have been able to vocalize it back then but he had clearly shown that he didn’t like short hair, something that had continued to that day. Norm had been burned too many times, giving a guardian permission to get Spider a trim, only for him to come back with a short back and sides cut or worse a buzz cut. Poor kid always looked like he was ashamed of himself. He wouldn’t act like his typical feisty self again until his hair grew back.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Lebowitz but I can’t give you permission….”

“Why not?” Her tone sounded pleasant enough but with an obvious bite behind it.

“Because Spider likes his hair long. I can take him to get a trim if his curls are getting hard to comb but I won’t approve any drastic cut.”

Norm could practically hear her eyes lighting with an idea, “well it is hard to brush and I am happy to take him for a little cut.”

“No. That won’t be necessary….”

“Why not? It’s not like he’s a native. There is no reason to not…”

Norms blood boiled. “Spider was raised with Eywa. That is his chosen religion. And while yes, braids are important to the Na’vi, Spider just prefers having long hair.”

He imagined that Mrs. Lebowitz rolled her eyes. “He’s an eight year old boy, he doesn’t care. I, as the one taking care of him, should be able to make this decision.”

“Well you're not. And he does care.”

That set her off. “But it looks horrible! It’s a complete rat's nest every day. I don’t have the time to detangle it all! This is what’s best for him…”

Norm had had enough, “sounds like it’s what’s best for you.”

Mrs. Lebowitz snarled. Whatever she was about to say she thought better of it, returning her voice to something sickly sweet. “What if he were to get something stuck in his hair? Or if he got lice? Would I be allowed to cut it then?”

Norm’s stomach dropped. She wouldn’t have been the first foster parent to bend the rules by intentionally putting something sticky in a child’s hair or faking lice. It was a “tip” on foster forums. Norm knew she would easily be able to find this answer online and so decided to say, “if that happens you better do everything you can to fix it without cutting it.”

“But if I can’t fix it?”

“Then call me.”

“Is that the rule Mr.Spellman.”

Norm sighed, “it’s what I’m asking you to do.”

“But I don’t have to.” Norm refused to answer. “Thank you Mr. Spellman.” She hung up without even saying goodbye. As soon as he set down his phone he started searching for a new placement for Spider.

****************************************************************************

Spider woke up Saturday morning, stretched, rubbed his eyes, then scratched the back of his head only to startle at the touch and recoil. There was a giant mass on the back of his head. Tentatively he poked at it. It was sticky and soft. He tried to pry it from his hair for some time, tears coming to his eyes from the pain. It was too stuck. He started feeling sick, knowing what his foster parents would do when they saw him. They’d made tons of comments about how embarrassed they were to be seen with him. How he looked like a little punk or like a girl. It was shameful they said, especially when they made him get all dressed up and forced him to go to church. Spider thought they were being dumb, especially with the church comments. Jesus had long hair so why was it so wrong for him? He’d told them as much, only to get his mouth washed out with soap for blasphemy.

“Miles, are you up,” his foster father called.

He snarled. He’d told them when he’d first arrived that he preferred to go by Spider. They had scoffed and said, “that’s silly. Your god given name is Miles.”

“Actually my parents gave me that name. And now they're gone and I go by Spider.”

“Well in this house you will not be going by that heathen name….”

Spider wanted to run. He hated it here so much. He almost wished his father would show himself just so he could have another emergency placement. His foster father pounded on the door, “come on Miles get up.”

Spider knew he had to face them. He tried to style his hair to hide the sticky mass then made his way downstairs. He took a seat at the kitchen table and forced himself as calm as possible. His foster mother made a beeline for him, parting the back of his hair as if she knew what’d she find. “Is this gum?” She picked at the back of head, “did you sleep with gum in your mouth?”

“No,” Spider rushed to defend himself, “I don’t even like gum! I don’t know what this is or how it got in there….”

She ignored him, “this will never come out. We’ll have to get this cut…...”

“No! There has to be a way….”

“Don’t talk back!” His foster father scolded “you did it to yourself by being irresponsible!”

“But I didn’t do anything!”

“Be quiet and go get dressed! We’re going to the barber right now!”

Spider died inside. “There has to be something we can do to get it out.”

“Yes there is. We’re going to get it cut,” his foster mother said, overly chipper. “Now go get dressed.”

Spider stood, feeling lightheaded. He made his way out of the kitchen but paused at the staircase. The front door was right there. And no one was looking at him. Quick as a flash he raced out the door and down the street. He didn’t register if he was being chased or not. He just ran for all he was worth.

******************************************************************************

Norm was in his home office when his phone rang. “Norm Spellman.”

“Norm?” Spider’s watery little voice answered.

He immediately shot to his feet, making for the front door. He kept his voice calm despite his thumping heart, “hey buddy. What’s wrong?”

“I…I…. I ran away. Can you come get me?”

“Of course bud. Where are you?” Trudy, overhearing the conversation perked up from her spot on the couch.

“What’s going on,” she mouthed. Norm just waved her over, silently indicating that she should come with him. She set her studies aside, jumping into action.

“I’m…I’m..I’m at the library. The nice lady at the book counter is letting me use the office phone.”

“Okay Spidy. Just stay there. I’ll be there soon.”

“Can you stay on the phone please?”

Norm’s heart melted, “of course buddy.” He pulled the phone away and covered the receiver to speak to his wife. “Will you drive?”

“Absolutely.”

“Is that Miss. Trudy?”

Trudy smiled warmly. “Yeah kiddo I’m here. Everything is going be alright.”

They made their way to the library in record time making idle conversations with Spider to keep him calm. Norm’s phone rang a few times, caller I.d showing it was the Lebowitzs. He ignored it. They found Spider in the library office, still in his pajamas and bare foot. Norm and Trudy got down on his level. “Okay buddy. Now tell us what happened,” Norm said. Spider started hyperventilating. Instead of an answer he turned, revealing a matted mess of hair, blond stands clumped in bright blue gum. “That bitch,” Norm mumbled under his breath.

Trudy quietly took in her husband’s reaction then turned her attention to the distressed child in front of her. “Okay Spidy. We’ll find a way to fix it….”

“Don’t cut it!” Poor Spider was close to a panic attack.

“We’ll do everything we can not to. Let’s get out of here okay….”

“I don’t want to go back!”

“We’re not going back,” Norm said calmly. “We’re gonna go to the group home.” Spider sniffled, calming slightly. He nodded but didn’t immediately move. Then hesitantly he reached his hands out towards his trusted adults. Norm instantly took his left hand, while Trudy took the right, leading him out of the building.

************************************************************************************************

Just a little end note for context. Trudy, who survived the war because I love her and I want her to, went back to school to become a therapist specializing in trauma and P.T.S.D. So that’s the studies she sets aside and yes she’ll be Spider’s therapist one day.

Also I ended it where I did because I thought it was a good place to stop but if you’re curious, yes Trudy and Norm got all the gum out of Spider’s hair. It was a lot of work because his foster mom put a whole pack of gum in there but they were super determined to fix it for Spider.

[seat-safety-switch]

No matter what you do, people will always find a way to criticize it. If you get lost in the forest, don't fret. Just start welding something and wait for someone to show up and yell at you about your terrible technique. Then you can kill and eat him, so at least you won't starve.

Welding, for me, has always been a "need to do" rather than a "like to do." That's not saying that there aren't true artisans, magicians who can do things like "not keep getting the wire stuck in the workpiece." For those individuals, I'm sure it is very painful to watch a bumblefuck like me steering a MIG torch around like it's a flashlight, leaving a horrific graveyard of burned globs of half-steel, half-air in my wake.

I am also certain that those same individuals are not the ones leaving angry replies on my popular YouTube videos: "Need To Fix My Frame" and "Need To Fix My Frame VI" (for some reason, the middle five episodes are not very popular, probably due to algorithmic bias.) The world is full of armchair welders who dispense little in the way of useful wisdom and a lot of invective about how I should not be allowed near any power source that produces more than about five volts. Guess what, idiots? You're actually agreeing with my court order, so that's the company you're keeping.

Don't worry, though. If I let the haters get to me, then I wouldn't weld anything at all. And then my car would be in two or more pieces, instead of one slightly banana-shaped one that whistles every time the wind blows. My confidence is high that by doing more welding, I'll get better at it with experience. I'll learn from my mistakes. And that's great, because I just hit a pothole and it's been about two weeks since "Need To Fix My Frame XII." Don't want to piss off my loyal audience.

[newfeeling77]

im at a point where i honestly feel like a moron every time i get a little bored n start looking at my phone. i refuse to believe in the idea of wasting free time but i still feel like i am when i do stuff like that. and im not even advocating for screen free lifestyles i fucking love TV n i consider it a hobby so when i sit around doing fuck all but watching a show it still feels more productive than phone time. coming out of an instagram reel hole makes me feel dirty bc what did i get out of that. if i get a few laughs its worth it but the algorithm pushes stuff that pisses people off for engagement and $$$. and we let it happen bc we’re used to it and its easier than thinking. and i used to not watch short form videos on anything bc i didnt like what i thought it would do to me n i was right! i cant even wait for a page to load on my laptop without thinking of picking up my phone and looking at something else

[resilient-radical]

I think there is a lot of room for improvement with phone keyboard algorithms. Even as I type this paragraph, my phone tried to autocorrect "there" to "therapy." For me, it is far more common to be typing in something correctly, only to have my phone automatically change it to something incorrect. And the voice-to-text is pretty much shit. In any voice assistant ive used, whether it is google or bixby or the microsoft dictation tool, i find it to be incredibly disappointing and immensely frustrating. It might be small little things like not being able to end sentences very well, which I will say that on my windows computer, the dictation tool by pressing the windows key + h, is pretty nice, but I still have yet to get my phone keyboard to work right. So many times, I'll write out something really well thought out, and then when I go back and read it, i then realize how much shit the phone auto corrected incorrectly. I also find it surprising that my phone fights so very hard to censor my profanity with asterisks. I'm not a child, ffs. If I'm saying a curse word in dictation, then I was to see it fully dictated. And I also thought it was really weird that when I switched to the microsoft keyboard, there wasn't a place for me to access my clipboard, so I had to switch back to the samsung board. I've also reset my keyboard back to its factory settings a few times and tried to train it more accurately, but every single time it ends up driving me mad. Sorry, I am stoned and pmsing hard. And this just really pisses me off almost as much as today's political events. But that's a different topic.

Also I just want to add that Google Keyboard has been adding periods, spaces and capitalizing the next letter in my text when all it really needed was a comma. i've had to go back and change like 30+things in this post. We got quantum computers, yet still deal with this shit? Why? Just why?

[thegreatimpersonator]

hey sarah! how are you doing? you always let us ramble in your inbox so if you wanna rant abt something i am imploring you to do so in response to this! take care 🖤

as thanks lovely this is so sweet ❤️

i’m okay, i’m just kinda realizing i need to really start having better habits and use social media less, especially tiktok. that damn clock app is just a really draining app for me recently- everyone’s so bitter and every fandom is so weird and immature now. there’s discourse and outrage about everything and i hate that i’m subjected to seeing it. like over the past 2 days ive seen 3 different discourses by sabrina carpenter stans that have pissed me off lol. all of it is so stupid and none of it matters. i wish my algorithm was just funny little videos but instead its a pop culture nightmare. i need to stop looking at comments, stop interacting with the posts i don’t want on my algorithm and just use it les in general. i posted about this a few days earlier, but pop culture just isn’t a nice place to escape anymore. and i’ve also been having the same issue here, and it’s my fault completely. people come to me to talk about pop culture and i’m entertaining it. and tbh, i don’t want to change that but i think the combination of both tiktok and here is just too much. i’ve also been deleting a lot of taylor-related asks bc i feel like this is becoming a taylor blog again and it it is in fact not, im not even a fan like im talking about her too much (except ootd anon ily you’re not the problem, that’s more about discussing the clothes rather than taylor and i love that).

i wanna try and spend my time watching movies/tv shows. i stopped watching so much bc my attention span is so fucked and i would get bored and just go back to scrolling. but i really wanna try and train that muscle again. and get back to reading more books. just healthier options so im not just in a bad mood all the time lol.

[alchemistc]

I wish I'd thought to screen grab it, but I was on TikTok yesterday and scrolled to a Live I have no idea HOW the algorithm thought I'd appreciate.

Dude in a MAGA hat, preaching the word, talking about Sin and Jesus and how only Christians would make it to heaven. How Christians couldn't sin. Didn't Sin.

I nearly scrolled away immediately, but for some reason - I think I thought it was a bit? It seemed just ridiculous enough to be a bit - I stuck around for a second. This dude proceeded to spew a whole pack of gobbledygook about accepting Jesus so that heaven could be your otherworldly destination.

Now. Here's the thing. On the whole, I have no problem with a belief in God. I even really like the teachings of Jesus, the socialist who hung exclusively with whores and dudes, who ranted against wealth inequality and told rich men they wouldn't even get to the gates with their money. I vibe with that guy.

Personally, the idea that a book written by a bunch of dudes (and ladies, but we don't put those parts in any official versions bc what would a woman know about God), and the seemingly active threat of firey depths of hell is the only thing keeping most people (US Christians, at the very least) from actively raping and murderering and adultering (etc) their way through life is a little... Yikes to me. But that's not really the point.

The point is this man was very much NOT doing a bit. Which was. Disappointing. No idea how he worked his way through my algorithm if it wasn't satire.

I'm watching him answer questions coming in on the Live. I am refusing to click into it bc I don't want to give him the views.

He reiterates that Christians and Christians alone follow the word of God, and therefore CANNOT Sin. Sin is somehow not inevitable for them. Sin is impossible because they accept Jesus.

I'm not very religious, I don't know a whole lot about the practicing parts of most religions, but I do know the very basic tenant that this Jesus guy, like, DIED for our sins. Because... we all commit them. Like that's a pretty big part of his story, right? He sacrificed his earthly body because we are all sinners and by accepting his teachings we could learn to do better, be better, etc.

I'm annoyed. I'm looking for a reason to be a pest.

The MAGA hat is off limits because I'm not looking to start a political argument. I just want this guy to know that while everyone else is picking apart his preaching, I think he's full of absolute shit.

I hone in on his shirt. Black polyester golf polo. Hey, I remember a thing or two from Jed Bartlett's bible speech.

I click in to the live. Type out 'hey what's your shirt made out of'. And I wait. He's reading comments. Responding here and there. My comment scrolls up and away in frame, but he's reading them all.

I can see the moment he gets to mine. I watch this dudes eyes widen. The sigh, put upon, caught out, aware that he is Full of Shit escape his lips. It's the longest sigh I've heard since that time in highschool when someone made an incredibly WRONG analysis of Picture of Dorian Gray and my AP English lit teacher saw me pulling out my notes and my annotated copy before I spoke.

He ignores my question. But someone else has seen it. In between comments, a theme becomes apparent. "What IS your shirt made of?" "Is that a fabric blend?" "Do football players get into heaven if they play with a real pigskin but they've accepted Jesus?" "Didn't you cheat on your wife? Is that not a Sin bc you're Christian?" (I assume this was someone who knew him irl) "What if my name is Christian, does that give me an automatic pass?"

I have derailed this mans entire comment thread. He is DROWNING. He is pissed. He is trying desperately to get back to his proselytizing but he's not getting anything that will bring him back on track. He calls us all Sinners.

"But I'm Christian, not Sinner," says a commenter, and I decide I've given this man a minute too much of my time.

I hope he had such a terrible fucking day after that, but I know he probably just stopped reading off comments and went back to his soap box of lies.

[fraemlingg]

im just gonna freestyle this text so this is not gonna be very thought through or whatever but literally i am so incredibly sick of social media i am sooo sick of that ugly AI slop everywhere and algorithms and ads and everything being designed to keep us glued to our screens no matter the consequences

i am sick of monetarisation i am sick of posting my art online literally begging for people to like my posts in hopes of being able to make at least a lil money with my art one day it feels like im selling myself out and its so fucking far from authentic like im a tattoo artist and so i follow a bunch of other tattoo artists and although they all have such amazing unique styles everything feels so performative and i KNOW that every single one of them feels the same and its so fucking sad that we cant really do anything about it

and im not trying to sound pretentious but i?? kinda hate meme culture?? it pisses me off?? can we not have normal inside jokes anymore why are 10 people sending me funny little posts even though they know i will not look at them (and like rlly truly no offense bc i know they do it bc they love me and think of me and i love them for it and i appreciate it in one way or another im not being judgy rn thats not my point). i want to write letters not dms but i feel like if i were to say that i might be called "cringe" which yknow is a concern i already expressed in another post and might be a me-problem but as ethel cain said it so fantastically nothing is taken seriously anymore and i hugely blame social media and meme culture

and like pls keep enjoying ur memes im again not judging just speaking from my subjective experience and that experience is that it caused me brainrot im not sure i'll ever be able to fix and that SUUUUCKS dude we all got dragged into phone addiction without a fucking choice and it will just get worse and worse and worse

i watched LuvstarKeis youtube video on why you should make a website and i think they (i looked everywhere for their pronouns sry if i got it wrong ;w;) have such good points i rlly enjoy their youtube videos in general. so yea in the long run i think im gonna create a website (or two to separate tattoos n music), post it to instagram with a statement, and then im gonna "leave instagram". putting that in "" bc im gonna keep my instagram but only so people can dm me for appointments or other things bc i dont wanna give out my telegram and people these days are too damn lazy to write a single email (even dj bookers lol it pisses me off a bit like what do i have this mail for then). like why are people using AI to write emails pls make it stop sometimes we have to do things that are inconvenient and that is actually a GOOD thing my fucking god, same thing goes for physical media like dvds nd such like fuck streaming services but thats another topic for another day

im probably gonna keep posting on my priv instagram just bc like. theres so many photos on there from so many years ago that would probably be lost if i deleted that account nd like i go on there like every 3 months or so to dump my photos there and then i log off so whatever. i am mostly pissed off about sharing art on social media and feeling so unauthentic about it and being glued to my phone when i could do so many other much better things liKE UGHHHHHHH

i think dead internet theory is scary and depressing but lowkey i hope the internet is actually dying bc i am so sick of this internet society. i am so goddamn sick of everyone being addicted to their phones. remember when we had a life like?????? how did we end up like this

i also wanna get a flipphone one day but yea i gotta plan that shit

i just needed to vent i could probably go on for ages about this but imma choose to shut the fuck up now

[derpoprime]

i'm gonna be a little hater on like, 90% of the selfshipping fandom i've personally come across on tumblr for a little bit.

because i've talked about it a lot on my blog, and i'm sure i've made my stance clear on it, but i know my talk posts are far and few in-between and people might not see them anyway even if they aren't so scarce. that's just how algorithms work sometimes, i'm afraid. but like... i never go into it in depth. how pissed off i am at the whole proship drama going on. and it IS drama because it doesn't fucking matter and nobody cares. ever heard of dead dove do not eat? ever had other shit to worry about? ever not given a shit about what ships other people enjoy because 1) cringe culture is dead, and 2) you can talk to people you don't agree with and have fun..? no. no, these people haven't, apparently. now selfshipping is a safe space for people, i don't wanna tell anyone that their safe space is bad and they shouldn't have it. it's just that hey, these people you call proshippers are also in the same sphere as you trying to find both comfort and community like you, and they're not really harming anyone. why insult them and drive THEM away from what's also THEIR space?

i. hate. making media pure. stories do not have to be pure. stories do not have to cater to your sensibilities. stories that DO have to have good morals and role models are children's stories. because they're catering to an audience that will say slurs on you on xbox call of duty in real life and hurt real people otherwise. children, although not as dumb as people think, can't exercise critical thinking and distinguishing of real things vs. fake media in the way that older people and adults can. and that's only GENERALLY. TYPICALLY. but if you're eighteen or above, you'll usually have an easier time! and you do not have to interact with that stuff if you don't want to, i should know, this is tumblr and hey, i don't want to interact with media that makes me feel really horribly bad either. especially not in an unpleasant or vulneranle head space. but these people totally are exposing themselves to content that is inherently "proshit" anyway! this is on god the same people who will say proship (a label where someone enjoys noncon, incest, toxic, and/or otherwise taboo relationships in media) go away, but then SELFSHIP WITH SUPERVILLAINS, VILLAINS WHO ARE INCESTUOUS IN THEIR BASE MEDIA, AND SUPERCOMPUTERS WHO WOULD MAKE YOU RAPE EVERYONE BECAUSE IT HATES YOU AND PROBABLY EVERYTHING ELSE THAT BREATHES.

i get it, transformative media, headcanons, you can water down that character all you want until the point of their role and character disappears if you want to. i don't like it personally, but i respect and admire the drive and am not gonna forbid you from talking to me about it. i am genuine about this. selfshipping is different from being totally in line with canon, something most fandom work generally doesn't have to do at all if they don't want to. that's cool. i just think it's something else to say "if you enjoy bad media you're bad! and i don't want to talk to you! but i can do it though, because i'm doing it the non problematic way" essentially.

and you know what else? this is cringe culture. in the first place, shipping two characters has never been exclusively "i want them to live happily ever after and be so good for each other! 😊" shipping is "wouldn't it be awesome if these two were in love". which can be, and HAS BEEN, taken in a million ways. what if they made each other worse? what if they made each other better? what if the relationship is dogshit but considering who they are this is quite possibly the best outcome and not honestly as bad as it could be? what if the relationship is dogshit and then they fix it? what if the relationship is dogshit but it was so funny? what if the relationship is dogshit but they do really love and are committed to each other, in their own fucked up little ways? these are all stories. that media make. all the time. why can't people enjoy having a selfship that's like that? enjoyment itself encompasses a huge array of emotions, starting from "this is my guilty pleasure thing i do on the side sometimes, i know it's wrong and i microdose and try to make up for it everyday i prommy 👉👈" to "i kinda like this thing. sometimes" to "i'm crazy and everyone will know it forever and i could kill and maim someone about this and i'm righteous for enjoying this and i look down on you if you don't". is all of it so abhorrent to you? makes someone a horrible person to you?

oh, but dude, they're talking about proship SELFSHIPPERS! like people shipping themselves with kids or with characters who are their brothers! — see my rant up there about people whose partners are literally villains and hateful to everyone with no exceptions and that's the core of who they are, because the whole point of the proship label is "people who enjoy taboo relationships in media" like, in general. i have a problem with anyone incessantly hating such a general view of media. and if the definition doesn't encompass bad things generally being portrayed in media? no problem! so. many. anti proship people also have "darkfic darkship neutrals variants dni" on their shit as well! people HATE variations of this term! people HATE variations of taboo things even existing in media! is that not the impression you'd get eventually, after seeing so many people say that at least? ALSO. specify that if that's what you mean! on the website where people are neurodivergent and take things literally a lot (the easiest way to take sentences in my case, because my head's so tired of looking for the hidden meaning sometimes), you don't think to specify which proshippers you meant? ALSO selfshipping is a fucking fantasy, who cares? it's like the scenarios we imagine before bed or some shit, it can be personal and mean a lot to someone. i know that i'd probably recoil a bit by second nature if i like, see some guy shipping themself with caillou, but i wouldn't completely demand they never be in the same space as me, now would i? they have their reasons, and for all intents and purposes, i don't know what they are. they could totally be caillou's age with extremely good writing / drawing / technological smarts and abilities for a four year old and have no parental supervision because their parents don't care, i don't fucking know! the point is that you never know what specific circumstance led to this! that's THEIR business, not mine, and i'm not going to immediately ridicule them or think they're a criminal for doing that. i'm not gonna say "never talk to me ever, we can't possibly have a good conversation together or understand each other" because that's ridiculous if that piece of info is the only thing i know about this person. i'm not going to jump to conclusions based on that. and if this post looks like i'm doing the same thing with anti proshippers to you, then i'll tell you now that there's other stuff coming up ahead that kinda makes it sound like some people really do think being a proshipper is the same as being a criminal. those people are the ones i probably don't agree with most. because fuck man, people are having fun. doing their thing. just like you, by the way. they don't harm real people unless you decide you or someone you know will be harmed by looking at a controversial piece of media. which, likewise, that would be YOUR business, not theirs.

fiction does affect reality to an extent; the reason we're always vying for more representation in media is because if people only ever see skinny white strong cishet men do everything, everyone's gonna eventually think that's what they oughta look and be like, yeah? but that same extent can vary wildly from person to person. it's not fair to assume someone else reacts the same way or internalizes the same things as you do to fictional things. this topic is a whole different can of worms, too, and one that i will not be getting into here in the interest of not derailing to points that are tangential to what i'm talking about.

fucking also, so what if some selfship fantasies involve some weird shit? what if that fantasy is too freaky for you? is it always "match my freak" until someone's actually freaky? what if they want to engage in toxic fucking yaoi in their selfships, do you not want them breathing the same air as you then? every time someone interacts with you, they're not asking you to look at everything they're doing and making. they might even be totally nice and normal by even YOUR standards outside of their shipping proclivities! do you not like that because you think it's someone "pretending to be nice to cover up crimes"? or are you not willing to know that people are multi faceted? i'm not saying people are never cold and calculating and comically evil and shit, but are you sure the guy also engaging in what a lot of people outside the sphere would say is "really cringe shit" anyway is any different or worse than you? selfshipping is cringe and taboo to a group out there somewhere too apparently, i've seen people make the argument that "fictional characters can't consent because they're not real," and selfshipping at large is seen as a weirdo activity, right? especially because the more serious you are about them, the more "sad" it looks like to the outside world because you don't have a real life partner and "have to get obsessed with your fictional one instead". people have been making fun of "sweaty weebs" with waifus for years. to engage in that and then not also understand that something like this — shooing away everybody who doesn't make sure nothing too problematic is in their ships — maybe shouldn't be happening is wild.

there are thousands and thousands of romance tropes — general story tropes — relationship dynamics and tropes — that many many many people can honestly say "i love this in fiction, but i'd hate it if that really happened to me or someone i know," not to mention KINKS that you'd love to fantasize about but never ever do in real life. that's also part of critical thinking and separation of what's real from what's fake, babes. and, unfortunately for YOU maybe, some of those kinks do include incest or huge age gaps or toxic relationships or what have you. that does NOT translate directly into someone's morality profile. maybe they like thinking about morality and testing it or edging the line on it. maybe it's just fucking hot. in FICTION, no less. we're talking about characters, characters that you can make healthy or unhealthy or any shade of gray in-between depending on what story you'd want to tell. for the umpteenth time. video games do not cause violence, proshipping does not cause you to get into toxic shit. it might even deter you because now that you've experienced it through fictional ragdolls, you never have to try it out yourself. oh my god. i'm losing my mind. if i'm missing something crucial about this, because i feel i must be, then please let me know. it feels like most of the selfship community on tumblr is like this and even look down on those who think different, and i know there's probably a good reason, but from where i'm standing (and because of the reasons i'm stating out) that reason doesn't look all that reasonable. and i know, i know — i enjoy overclowning on things and people i don't like as well! i already think so hard about so many things, i'm allowed to not wanna think about at least one topic too hard. human flaw, sue me, i understand that people hyperbole their distaste a lot for the funsies or because they're tired of explaining their nuanced take on it over and over and over again. cool. but god, you know you don't have to put, and i quote, stuff like "PROSHIPPERS AND BIGOTS GO AWAY SHOO" and "if anyone notices a pro/com/dark.shipper reblogging or liking my things people shoot me an ask or message letting me know! I can't always get all of them since I average like 100-300 notes a day! I appreciate it <\3" and "proship/neutral on proship (meaning you ship and enjoy pedo/incest/other weird illegal shit in media)" right? such intense reactions to people minding their business in the goddamn cringe and free selfshipping fandom. first of all, huh, it kinda sounds like you're lumping proshippers and bigots together? "bigot" is such an umbrella term for so many things generally, the fact that it isn't listed out what specifically they're looking to avoid (plus of course the GO AWAY SHOO) makes me think that first dni is overtly simplified, and, in cases of overt simplification, sometimes people who do so in lists like that group everything in that list in around the same ballpark.

"whimsy and fun" and "magic and potions" and the like, right? all this to say i don't think that person was saying "proshippers and bigots" as two different dnis. correct me if i'm wrong.

you don't need me to tell you proshippers and bigots aren't the same thing, but hey. just in case. because i thought i didn't have to say that sometimes media is taboo and that's what the artist/creator/etc. was going for, and that furthermore stories like that can be interesting and good for you to consume every once in a while, but here we are. i'm gonna use the actual definitions for these words. "a person who is obstinately or unreasonably attached to a belief, opinion, or faction, especially one who is prejudiced against or antagonistic toward a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group," for bigots, and "one who supports a ship or shipping deemed problematic (e.g., due to incest, age differences, abusive dynamics, etc.), and/or believes in the freedom to create and consume fanworks with such elements" for proshippers. they can be the same. i'm not saying they can't be. but they are not similar nor can they necessarily be clumped together by concept alone. UNLESS you assume proshippers are unreasonably attached to their beliefs because you haven't heard their reasons for it, or you find their reasons unreasonable for some reason? or you make a point to turn this into a mini separatist civil war in yume fandom where proshippers are on one side and antis are on the other. wherein in this reality, proshippers are prejudiced against antis and antis are prejudiced against proshippers. second point. where do you find the time and energy to siphon out every single proshipper in your sphere? it sounds like you're hunting them for sport, calm down. if this is the only space you have on tumblr then sure you'd wanna make it your best space, but you are treating people like pests. last but not least, legality is not morality, either. and just because something is "weird and illegal" doesn't make it wrong to exist in fiction.

I'M finding the time to copy and paste these extra statements unneeded in your regular good old dni (which may not actually work if the people you want out are THAT bad) because i don't want anyone — not even me, when i read this back years later (if this post is still up) — to think that my claims of people equating shipping in fiction with real life morality are unfounded. i want you to see i have examples that i have seen on the regular. these are real blogs, with real people behind them, and i know they're most likely decent people so i don't think they'd harass me because they found out i made this post with their words as examples. i think they'd just block me, shit talk me on their own circles and their own time, and/or also put me up with the proshippers on their dni. if they acknowledge me at all. any of these options happening would be an honor! because believe you me, i want to live and let live. i hated having to go back and gather those examples because it pissed me off and i wanna not get myself in trouble by getting too pissed off. like, i could be playing a card game right now. but my reason for doing this still stands. my reason for writing and posting this (so others know where i stand, so i make myself very clear, so i have some peace of mind having gotten this out now, to analyze this for enrichment and to train my brain, many such reasons) still stands.

so what am i saying? "selfshippers, let anyone you're uncomfortable with into your circle"? i don't fucking care what you do, i'm just fucking pissed off. just some dude speakin his shit, and that's my prerogative, alright? who am i to tell you what to do? who am i to tell you what to think? i ain't your fuckin mom or nothin. i just don't like people suddenly deciding media needs to be morally good now. in any capacity. i don't like this "no proshippers allowed!!" treehouse mentality. and am i saying proshippers have no issues? hell no also, i've seen both sides play to this "war" thing, i've seen people go "anti antis fuck off i hate you!!!!" or whatever, it's also annoying. and for some people out there, maybe being a "proshipper" really does reflect their real life morality. there's always this non zero chance that it turns out most proshippers are criminals and can never hold a pleasant conversation and i'm insane and never saw them or whatever. either way, we have tags for this. we have content warnings for this. to shift the warning over from content to people to whole groups and/or beliefs isn't my thing. which is why when i selfship now, i sit by myself in a corner and make things. it's why i'm leaving the community before i ever got in it. and if there's any thought of "you can just ignore them" or "why get so angry if you can mind your own business", it's because, to reiterate, this is most of the fandom space i've come across. the blogs i'm referencing i have seen around the selfshipping community like a dozen times and seem to be pretty big names, populating so much of the self ship tag whenever i check it. and they're usually very angry and vile talking about those they deem proshippers. i couldn't ignore them if i tried. and i did! i do have the little "proshipper dni" thing (+ the spelling "pr0ship" because, woah... is that the censorship of a whole group of harmless people?) in my post text and tag filter settings. the space is so concentrated with it that it doesn't work effectively, though. AND let's not forget people don't apply these dnis only to the blogs — they slap the thing onto basically every post they make as well. tell me why i keep being recommended posts on my For You thing where people will just say the most benign shit and tag it "proshippers dni!!! 🤢" arbitrarily, like

"imagine your f/o just sitting there PROSHIPPERS GET OUT!!!!!!!!" that's been my experience on yumeblr. every. day. that i decide i wanna see what's going on. what is that. for what reason do you have to randomly exclude people on posts like that? do you think some proshipper will find your post about someone's f/o sitting down and go "oh yeah, and then they would TOTALLY fuck children after" or something? is tumblr being dumb or is this seriously what the fandom is.

because i wanted to reach out, to have a community, to be around people who were also engaging in a chill hobby. and now i'm too annoyed to, because the fandom doesn't like it when you enjoy anything not good and nice in fiction? and i'm barred off from talking to people simply because i don't take to the extreme belief that "if you like imperfect ships, get out". i'm wrong about that, whatever, i'm hyperbole-ing, again, sue me. i'm done. if festering and perpetuating a community where there are only the purest ships was the goal, then good for every anti out there! i'm never coming back. because disgusting humans like me should be kicked out, right? sigh. respond how you want. unfollow if you want. if you feel you might wanna rage at me (understandable, i made this raging at the public air first and wrath is a sickness that spreads, so to say) be aware that

for one, i made this post to get it off my chest first and foremost, if you want to argue with me about it you're barking up the wrong tree because i believe in this very strongly and inherently.

secondly, i suffer from the horribly human flaw that is "big hordes of people opposing me all at once is scary"; if you're planning to do that, wait for me to respond, ask me to clarify whatever point of contention you have with this. don't ask me to never form an opinion again. or kill myself. or whatever harmful thing you can say to people.

thirdly, i have hobbies and interests outside of this post, discourse (i actually... don't really like talking discourse outside of this), thinking about anti proshippers, the selfship community as a whole, and tumblr. clearly, it's why i can step away from the selfship community in the first place. lucky me! instead of arguing about this one thing, i can also talk about things like bears. or being in art block and dying smoke out of my head so sad. or my crippling card game addiction.

last of all, that i use tumblr for fun. i know selfshippers who hate other shippers so much also do too. i'm pissed off for my own personal reasons. you may as well take this post as screaming at the open field. kay? ok. i think i've covered my bases. if i post this to crickets, that'll be alright too, because now it's out there. and i've "old man yells at cloud"ed it.

a lot of why i'm upset anyway is mostly just the fucking putting that dni on random posts thing and the having to divide a fandom into like, fighting factions. i'll still continue interact with posts and prompts that don't have dnis on them in the future, because i'm going to try and have a good time no matter what. if anyone doesn't like me reblogging their stuff because their overall blog is a "proshippers go away" space, then they can block me liberally. beautiful world and all that. i'm gonna straight up microdose a community! yay!

HEY! hey also! you reading this RIGHT NOW! just because i'm being a little bitch about this doesn't mean you can go and send hate to people. there's a reason i didn't mention names and made (maybe obvious) allusions to people and blogs. no matter how obvious these allusions are to you though, nobody take this post as a signal that they should start a war with random guys for real. everybody sit down or go do something that makes you happy. (i surely have to, after having to proofread this so many times to make sure that the "piss on the poor" website knows what points i'm trying to make). i'm just speaking and rambling and stuff like. in fact, positivity can be a fun challenge game in a community like this: go out there and find a selfship blog that isn't annoying about this proship business and send them some love (ideally unrelated to this post; i don't wanna get on my own high horse like antis do or confuse anyone osjdis. get in some general "hey, cool ship!"s in there or something). that is my mission for you should you choose to accept it. maybe... recommend me some "proship safe" (what a weird way to say it) selfship imagines blogs... for fun and love and happiness.

thank you for reading to the end. thank you for caring this much about my opinions, i seriously appreciate it. big thumbs up from me to you!

[kamoegoi]

tagged by @sovereign-of-the-void thank you sorry im going to write so much 🙏

i added a cut because sorry

- last song: Hey Big Eyes by Caroline Polachek if it's the last song i literally listened to but its Rizz by Plave if its 'the song my sister showed to me and now it haunts me at all hours i am not actively paying attention to something' in that i was humming the chorus while writing this

- last book: Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree. i uh dont like it that much if im being real. i think im in the last like 100 or something pages? i brought it with me to my mom's surgery and havent touched it since. the prose was sorta pissing me off at times but i get why people seemed to like this book so much. its a pretty easy read when im not being a dweeb about it

- last movie: Kill Bill vol 1. My mom asked me to rewatch it with her and it was fun yahoo. i have been doing a watchthrough of the planet of the ape remakes with a friend though. i finished all the james franco era ones and i plan on watching the mark wahlberg one soon

- last tv show: its either House M. D. or Yakuza Fiancee. algorithm kept serving me clips of dr house and i remembered i had a friend in high school who liked house and world of warcraft so much he stopped coming to school because it was all he did so it felt due for a post mortem for me and okay i get it. Yakuza Fiance is fun. the love interest is sort of a hyper bastard but i guess thats what makes him appealing. i just love it whenever Yoshino locks into her yakuza mode. i dont remember which i watched last so i name both.

- last thing I googled: zaiyuki. saw a clip and checked the comments for the name. it looked cool so i googled it and it turns out its an original animation by murata who is in my eternal good graces because of eyeshield 21.

- favorite color: red. its the color of burn, going fast, and being lucky. but in practice my casual wear is mostly black

- sweet/savory/spicy: savory>spicy>sweet. there was a time when spicy would've been top for me but im weaker now i guess

-looking forward to: i joined a bloodbowl league at my friendly local game store and my first match is this weekend (i chose black orcs but ofcourse i painted their armor red). i ordered some modeling supplies because i saw a video where someone kitbashed some chaos terminators into orks in space marine armor with some modeling putty and i thought that looked cool and replicable for someone like me who is new to this hobby so i want to give that a try and use them as warbosses. im going to the ado concert this summer. im going to anime north with my sister and my mom wants to come again after she had so much fun with delicious in dungeon. my friend is getting married.

-current obsession: warhammer/minis. i guess its been sort of a steady ramp up from working on minis at my friends house, but now that i am painting and playing and thinking about actually building an army.................... every time i go to the friendly local game store the warhammer shelves beckon me to them like the green goblin mask summoning willem dafoe. i heard "every kit is an ork kit" and i fear i have begun to take it literally. i stayed up late the other night because even though i have to work in the morning, i HAD to look at my opponent's roster and think about what i was going to do about it this weekend. i am looking up tip and tricks on "how to play bloodbowl good". i lined up my little half painted team on my desk before going to bed and was just standing there like : ). i looked up what a wet palette is.

Tagging @viiridiangreen @siyurikspakvariisis @atournamentoflies @asterixcalibur im not very good at starting conversations but i am curious please do not feel the need to respond if you dont want to

[timehascomeagain]

Smoking during storm eowyn like pissing into the wind. I want to change. I dont like who I am but nobody's forcing me to be this way. I used to read and I used to listen to john berger when I would cook. My brain is falling apart from the algorithm sludge. "Everyone I know is in some kind of pain. Everyone." I used to like who I was I thought I was cool and now I'm in the capital of the country and I can't get it together. I miss my friends all the time. I spend one week with people I can be honest with and it throws me out of whack. The lies we tell to live. But where does the falsity come from? What have I got to say for myself? What do you?

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

I'm curious if you have any ideas for Avatar modern au related to horses? Something like Ostwind etc. I see Quaritch who used to ride western but ever since Paz (as a charreada) died in some accident during a performance he hates horses forbidding his son from interacting with them until.. (something with Sullys) and that's basically my only ideas but I'd really like to see your thoughts!

I’m so sorry this took me so long to get to! I truthfully don’t know anything about horses and so I needed time to think on this one. Luckily I watch a lot of animal content because I am an animal lover. Mostly cat stuff since I’m a cat parent of two. But the algorithm blessed me with a horse rescue video that finally gave me an idea!

So the set up is exactly as you described. Quaritch and Spider live on a ranch where they have tons of animals. Cows, chickens, pigs, goats, sheep, herding dogs and a few barn cats but absolutely no horses. It makes Spider sad but he gets why after what happened to his mom.

The Sully’s live thirty minutes down the road where they run an animal rescue. Spider rides his skateboard there every chance he can get to hang out with his friends and help with the animals. And then a horse is brought in. He’s in really bad shape. Under fed to the point his ribs show, caked in dirt, mats in his mane and tail. But the worst is his hooves. They’ve possible never been cut before, growing to the point they started curving upward making it so the poor horse can barely walk.

He’s sedated so Jake can work on his hooves. Spider is fascinated by the process. It’s while Jake is taking a little break after hours of work that Spider goes up to the sleeping horse and runs a hand over his back, a thrill of excitement going through him at the touch.

After the hooves are cut and shaped it’s time for a cleaning. The mane and tail are so bad they have to be shaved. He’s caked in mud that’s hard to scrap off and they soon find out why. He’s covered in infected soars under all that grime. They have to be incredibly careful after that discovery. Once he’s cleaned Neytiri puts a homemade salve on the wounds to help them heal.

They name the horse Shadow. Shadow is incredibly timid, hiding in the far corner of his stall, screaming whenever a human comes near. Spider likes to go in and talk to him. He talks about everything under the sun. Video games, school, but mainly his controlling dad. After months of this Shadow slowly starts creeping closer. Everyone is amazed when it happens. Spider gently coaxes him closer. It still takes a few weeks of encouraging but eventually Shadow lets Spider pet his nose. Everyone is thrilled with the progress.

Meanwhile Quaritch is getting suspicious. His son smells like a horse stable. Quaritch would know the sent anywhere from back in his riding days. He use to love it. Now he can’t stand it. “Just what kind of animals have those Sully’s got now a days?”

Spider’s heart stops, “oh you know. The usual. Dogs, cats, a few turtles, some birds….”

“A huh. What about horses?”

“Ah no. No horses.”

Quaritch does not believe him. “You’re lying.”

“No I’m not!”

“Oh really? Then how ‘bout I drop y’a off at their place tomorrow.”

“Because they hate you and Neytiri will shoot you on sight.”

“Well then maybe you don’t need to be goin’ over there anymore. You can stay right here and see your little friends at school.”

“What! That’s not fair!”

“Neither is life kid.”

Spider is pissed and barely speaks to his dad after that. After a couple weeks of only seeing his friends at school Kiri tells him, “you need to come over. Shadow is back slipping! He barely eats. He won’t let any of us come near him. He misses you. He thinks you abandoned him.”

“Oh what you can talk to animals now.”

“Spider!”

“Well what am I suppose to do! My dad is watching me like a hawk! I want to come over more than anything. But dad will lock me up and throw away the key if he finds out I’ve been around a horse.”

The thought still nags at him though. Poor Shadow is suffering. He needs him. So one day Spider and the Sully kids agree to ditch school after lunch so Spider can see Shadow. As soon as Spider walks into the stable Shadow goes right to him. Everyone is thrilled. Spider feeds him, brushes his coat and now grown out mane and tail. He talks with him the whole time. Shadow seems happy for the first time ever. And then Spider hears the fight ensuing outside. His dad is there. And he sounds pissed. “Where’s my boy!”

“You are not welcome here! Leave at once!” Neytiri shouts.

“Miles jr! If you don’t come out right now I’m callin’ the cops and havin’ the Sully’s arrested for kidnappin’!”

“Kidnapping! We did not steal your child! He came here willingly!”

“Yeah!” Kiri yells, “Shadow needs him! It’s cruel to him and Spider to keep them apart!”

“Shadow? Is that a horse?!” Spider nuzzles his forehead with Shadows nose, silently saying goodbye. “Now you listen up! I’m takin’ my boy right now and then you’re never gonna see either of us again! Not here. Not at school. Nowhere. You hear that Junior! You better say bye to your little friends on the way out because you’re sure as shit never seein’em again!”

Quaritch walks through the door, radiating furry but knowing better than to shout in a horse stable. Spider has his face buried in shadows neck, tears welling in his eyes. “Come on now Junior. You’re in enough trouble as is.”

“I don’t care.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said I don’t care. I get it. You were devastated when mom died. So was I! But it was an accident. It wasn’t the horse’s fault. And now you’re gonna make Shadow and me suffer just because you’re still suffering! Do you think mom would want this! Because she loved her horse. And you loved yours! She would have slapped you straight in the face if you even joked about getting rid of our horses. But that’s exactly what you did when she died! She’d be furious with you! She’d hate what you’ve turned into!”

Quaritch stills, all his anger draining out in a rush. His son is right. His wife would be heartbroken to see them now. Especially if she saw the horse their son had fallen in love with. It was a sad, pathetic looking thing. Paz would be demanding they take him home. Quaritch approaches Shadow, gently patting his back. “You’re a timid fella aren’t y’a. I bet you couldn’t even hurt a fly.”

Spider brightens. “Dad?”

“Oh what? You wanna ask me something after skippin’ school like some punk ass? You’re grounded mister. And I’ve got a boat load of chores for y’a when we get home. Muckin’ out the stables, scrubbin’ floors, puttin’ down fresh bedding. You got a lot to do before this guy can come home with us.”

“Really!”

“Don’t act all excited. This is a punishment. Horses are a lot of work and he’ll be your full responsibility……”

Spider crashes into his dad for a hug. Quaritch squeezes him tight. “Thanks dad.”

So Shadow goes home with them. He never gets to a point where he could do any kind of competition or show. Spider and him go on leisurely rides through the country side and that’s about it. His dad eventually gets a rescue horse of his own and the two of them have a great time riding their horses side by side.

So those are my thoughts! I really hope you enjoyed, especially after how long this took. If you have anymore thoughts please reach out. I promise I won’t take months this time to answer. 💙 

[patricialupien]

Jesus Fucking Christ I hate Generative AI. I hate it with the passion of a thousand black holes. There is very little you can do to convince me that it has any purpose OTHER THAN TO PISS ME OFF!

Firstly, it's stealing. You're taking other people's art, other people's prose and passing it off as something you created, with no credit to the original innovator. It's being fed into a programmed sieve and turning someone's hard work into generic slop. It doesn't understand the original intent of the art and barfs it out and homogenizes it. (And for your information, I'm utilizing larger words just to fuck with the scrapers. Fear My Vocabulary Skills!)

Secondly, it's cheating. It's cheating creators of jobs to save a buck. The originators of the text that you stole to make your own AI story that you pushed up to Amazon Publishing to make a quick sale worked extremely hard to find the right words, the right phrasing in order to make the reader feel something. The journalists that are being pushed out of the press studied for years on how to present the facts in an unbiased way and still retain their style. Animators who have dreamed of working for a certain studio are being regulated (another big word) to storyboarding and cleanup because "AI will fill in the gaps." Voice Actors who have put nuance and subtlety into each phrase are having their voice patterns and pronunciations fed through and algorithm so that they won't be paid for future projects. Producers will just pull out a file labeled "J.K Simmons" or "Laura Bailey" and use their vocal likenesses without pay or accreditation.

I personally agonized for years on going back to school to get my degree in Graphic Design. But I realized that even with the background, no one would hire me without a Bachelor's Degree. So I went back to school. In total, it took me 18 years to finally get a Bachelor's degree in Graphic Design. I learned about proportion and color theory and techniques and tools, and I busted my ass! It took my free time, losing friends in the process. It took my money to get a degree. I have over 30 years of various experience from illustration to design, learning how to observe, to use tools as they evolved. I know about Gouache and watercolor and ink and anatomy. I know about Pagemaker and Quark and InDesign. Art has been my life. It's all I ever wanted to do. And I know I'm not unique. There are thousands like me in similar situations, with more talent, more knowledge, more invested in what they love.

And now the arts and humanities will be clouded with AI content that will eventually cannabalize itself. I am now not qualified to do my job, my passion, because I'm trained, and it'll cost less to have some prompt monkey plug in random words to try to get a half decent result. I can't appreciate anything that I see on my feed at first glance, because I have to count the fingers and look for flaws like some sort of forgery detective at the Louvre. AI art has made me cynical, where as art used to make me feel hopeful and magical. Meta has decided I need AI friends and influencers now while burying the people I want to connect to.

I am angry beyond words.

I don’t need AI, nor do I want it. Kindly stick your prompts in the hell that the NFT monkeys are suffering in.