#but i am so afraid to deal with family before i graduate and it's not /that/ long

[thedarklyblue]

i have to go to therapy.... sitting here in the booth before we get started desperately googling hrt near me

[tiredfox64]

Too Late? You’re Still Young!

Prior notes: DILFS! I LOVE THEM! I LITERALLY HAVE A I ❤️ DILFS SHIRT! YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE? CONSENT! WE 👏 LOVE 👏 CONSENT👏!

Pairing: Johnny Cage (MK11) x Virgin! Afab reader

Warnings ‼️: NSFW, fingering, praising, nipple play, safe sex is sweeter, mating press, aftercare (is freaking important)

So you spent all of high school and all of college with you virginity in tact. Impressive, but it wasn’t your choice. With a sheltered home life like yours you struggled to understand the dating scene. You were too afraid to have a boyfriend since you worried you would get in trouble with your family. You never had the talk before but your hormones were a big indicator that you were missing some important information about your body. You somewhat found the solution when you placed a pillow between your legs and it felt incredible good to you.

Through Sex Ed class and word around school you figured out what you were in need of. But to get it seemed so difficult. At least now you knew your fingers were a good option.

That frustration grew in you and you couldn’t voice it out. Even telling it to your best friend Cassie felt wrong. You’re almost graduating and you still have your v card! You can’t do this anymore. Maybe it’s time to ask Cassie for advice. Even if she can’t help you maybe one of her friends can. Two of them are engaged to each other you doubt they are waiting till after marriage. Heaven knows you can’t.

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You went over to Johnny’s mansion since you remembered Cassie was staying with him for a bit. You knocked on the door and waited patiently with an anxious look on your face. It was Johnny who opened the door.

“Hey! I haven’t seen you in a while,” He paused for a second, “Woah, what’s up with that face?”

“Hi, Mr. Cage. Is Cassie here right now?” You asked sheepishly.

“Nope, sorry. She just went out with Jacqui. But you should still come in. I’ll get you something to drink.” He invited you in.

You went inside, taking your shoes off at the entrance like a decent human being. You followed Johnny into the kitchen where you sat at the island. He gave you a glass of water which you thanked him for before he started talking.

“So what’s going on? You don’t seem to happy. Let me guess, a professor gave you a bad grade.”

He knows you too well. That could be true but not at this moment. You did smile though which is the reaction he wanted.

“No actually, it’s more of a…body issue.” You tried your best to explain it without saying it out loud.

“Ah, shark week I’m guessing? That’s why you need Cassie.”

“No! No! It’s another kind of issue that I have a hard time saying.” Your voice grew quieter the more you spoke.

Johnny stayed patient. He waited to see if you would say it yourself. You were being vague so he really didn’t understand what was going on. You sighed before continuing.

“The thing is I’m still a virgin. It’s really embarrassing. I feel so frustrated knowing that my body needs something but I either don’t know what it is or I can’t get it.” Now he understands.

He stayed silent for a bit as he thinks about what you said. He would say it’s no big deal but he’s a man with a high body count so he shouldn’t be talking. Still, he doesn’t want you feeling bad about it.

“Cassie did tell me you were a bit sheltered. But I don’t see why it’s a problem. You’re a nice and intelligent girl and I would hate for some dick to take your virginity as if it was nothing.”

“Everybody says that to me! I know what I am and I understand I need a good man to do it with. But how will I know what is considered a good man if no one tells me.” You were really expressing your frustration.

You had a point and Johnny could see that. You were at risk of being misguided. Everyone is at risk of that no matter what but you had a disadvantage. He had an idea that might work out but it seemed so stupid. Hormonal stupid. He’s been deprived for a while now and getting the chance to have some fun is really tempting right now. But he doesn’t want to take advantage of your situation. It won’t hurt to ask.

“Alright listen, how about you and me…do it. I’ll show you how it goes and what a man should be doing to you. It’s up to you. I won’t force you to do anything.” He said calmly.

You froze up and your cheeks started to feel warm. You were surprised he would suggest something like that even though you knew of his flirting habits. Was it a good idea however? He is your friend’s dad and he is way older than you. You can’t deny though that he is still good looking for his age. Older does mean more experience, right? He’s been so nice to you too so you can trust that he’s a good man. Screw it, he’s the best option!

“You wouldn’t mind doing that? I mean I do feel comfortable with you, especially since I don’t have any guy friends.”

“Of course, but only this one time. Promise me you won’t tell Cassie, right? I get it she’s your best friend and best friends tell each other everything and whatnot. But she is still my daughter and I doubt she will be happy that I banged one of her best friends.”

“I promise. She will never find out.” Better make sure of that.

He nodded before taking your hand and guiding you up the stairs. It was exciting yet nerve racking. Johnny could sensed that and squeezed your hand to tell you it’s gonna be alright. He’s gonna take good care of you.

You two walked into his bedroom. His bed was large and comfortable which helped settle your nerves. He brought you over to the bed and had you sit next to him. He may be an expert in this but he has never really dealt with a girl who was so nervous before. He better take this real slow and talk you through it.

“Alright, first things first, a man should never go right into it. Foreplay is very important. It will help make the experience better for you and prevent you from getting hurt down there.” He instructed.

You had no idea what foreplay was but you trusted Johnny enough to not asking him about it. You were right to do so since all he did at first was kiss your neck. Already that was a lot for you. Each kiss felt like a little tingle that shot down between your legs.

Johnny’s hand was slowly tracing down your body till he got to the waistband of your pants. Your breathing hitched which alerted him you were getting nervous again.

“Shh, it’s okay. Remember I’m taking it slow. I won’t hurt you.” He whispered against your neck.

You relaxed a little as his hand slipped under. His fingers lightly touched your clit and you whimpered immediately. It felt way different than when you would do it to yourself. This is way better, probably cause you are receiving it from someone else. Johnny wanted to see how you were a little more down and was surprised at how wet you already were. He could easily slip his fingers in if he wanted to.

“Damn, you’re really wet. I’ve never had a girl get this excited so quickly.” He commented.

You were embarrassed by that. Barely touched and you are soaking wet down there. You turned your head away from Johnny to prevent any further embarrassment. He just chuckled lightly at your reaction.

“It’s not a bad thing. It makes it easier. You’re doing good.”

One of his fingers slipped into your pussy with ease. You gasped in surprise and pleasure. You never fingered yourself since you never felt anything from it. But you sure felt it now. That one finger slowly pumped inside you as his thumb rubbed your clit. You were keeping yourself together which was good. Johnny felt like you could take a little more.

“You think you can take another one?”

You nodded your head confidently. You wanted more anyways. Your body was in need of it. Now having both his ring and middle finger in you was like heaven. He went a little faster while his thumb kept rubbing your clit.

Your whimpers to turned to quiet, breathy moans. Now it felt too good. Without thinking you were trying to close your legs. You don’t know why you do it you just know you don’t want to make it hard for Johnny.

“Gotta keep your legs open for me. I promise it will be better for you if you do.”

You listened and tried your best to keep your legs open, spreading them wider than before. That should do it.

“That’s it, good girl.” He whispered.

Immediately you had a reaction. Your heart did flips and you felt warmth in your stomach. Johnny caught on when he felt your pussy clench against his fingers. Not surprising considering you always did seem excited by praise no matter what. He’ll keep that in mind when he fucks you in just a moment.

Your body grew hotter the longer this went on. It didn’t help that Johnny was so close to you. So close that his other hand went to the small of your back to support you. You didn’t know what to do with your hands so you were left clenching the bed sheets. Suddenly he asked you a very important question.

“Wait, now that I’m thinking about it, have you even had your first kiss?”

Nope, you didn’t even get that. You nodded no.

“Well I must look like a jerk. What kind of man am I,” He said comedically, “Let me help you with that as well.”

This must be some sort of dream. A dirty one at best. A dream where you are kissing your best friend’s hot dad as he fingers you. Even if you weren’t the best at kissing, Johnny was making it work. Thank goodness your lips were soft cause you’d be embarrassed if they weren’t.

This was all enough to send you over the edge. It really didn’t take much effort since you were so deprived. Your eyes were shut tight as you felt pleasure pulse through your body. You were moan against Johnny’s lips. He felt your pussy clench his fingers which was enough evidence to show he just made you cum. Damn, in three minutes? That’s a new record. To him that was impressive and boosted his already high ego. You were embarrassed, thinking that cumming too early was a bad thing. It’s only bad when it’s guys, you’re fine.

“I’m sorry. I thought I would last longer.” You apologized.

“There’s no need to apologize. It just means we can get to the really fun part now. Take your clothes and get comfortable on the bed.” He instructed.

Johnny gave you a quick kiss on the cheek before slipping his hand out from your pants. He wanted to make sure you were still comfortable. There was no need to feel embarrassed around him. The important thing is if you’re comfortable and still okay with this.

You took your time when taking your clothes off. Obviously you never stripped down in front of a man. Even when you would go to the pool you were nervous to take your shirt off. This was a big leap but you felt like you could do this. Deep breathes and take your time.

While you did that, Johnny went over to his bedside table to grab a condom. You could see how prepared this man is when you saw the long line of condoms he had. It’s been a while for him, they’re still good.

When you took all your clothes off you were quick to get on the bed and cover yourself with the blankets. He doesn’t mind he understands. He started to strip his clothes off and oh…wow.

You don’t care what anybody says he is like fine wine. He looks like he’s still in his prime. You couldn’t deny you felt yourself get wetter and you pressed your thighs together to alleviate the pressure down there. Then he took his pants off. Girl, you’re in trouble but a good kind of trouble.

You’re not mathematician or scientist but you can definitely say he was bigger than average. Was it supposed to be that thick? He saw how wide your eyes were and decided to tilt your head up so you could look at him instead.

“You should probably keep your eyes on me for now. Might scare you if you look down there for too long.” He’s not wrong but he sounds arrogant saying that.

He got on the bed and slowly pulled the blankets off you. You were still being shy which is fine. There is no need to rush into this he will make sure you are comfortable with going ahead. Plus, he’s gotta comment on those tits.

“You have a nice pair on you. Do you mind?” He was asking for your permission to play with them.

You nodded and he went in slowly. You felt his hands cup your breasts gently. His thumb rubbed against your soft skin. You were surprised by how calming it felt. Sure you were even more turned on but you also felt less nervous. Johnny came in closer and started to leave kisses all over them. At first it was gentle but then he decided he wanted to leave hickeys on them. Nothing too big but they were the perfect spot since no one will see them. It was definitely a new feeling but when you saw the marks he left on you, you knew you liked it.

You know what else you liked? When his tongue ran over your nipple. It surprised you but you soon relaxed again to the feeling. He sucked on your nipple gently, not wanting to overstimulate you just yet. His other hand went to pinch your other nipple which excited you more. Once again it was another situation where it felt better when someone else did it instead of you. With all this combined you started to grow needy. There was no sense of embarrassment or nervousness anymore, only this need to be fucked. You started to whine which let Johnny know you were ready.

“Alright, alright, I get you. Just give me a second, babe.”

It didn’t take long for Johnny to put the condom on, what a manwhore. He angled himself before holding your hand. It was for support.

“Just tell me if you need me to stop, okay?”

Then he started to push into your wet pussy. The feeling of being stretched out for the first time was deliciously painful. It’s not what you expected. You expected to be screaming and for a bunch of blood to come out. Nope, not at all. Inch by inch he slowly pushed himself inside of you till he was fully in. He didn’t start thrusting immediately since he knew you had to adjust.

“You okay?” He asked.

“I’m more than okay.”

“That’s good. You’re doing so good. So good for me.” Johnny started to give you kisses on your face which you appreciated.

After a few moments he started slowly thrusting into you. Your hand squeezed his but you never told him to stop. The pain slowly turned into pleasure. Finally, the pleasure of being fucked. Each thrust was another wave of pleasure through you. It was confusing at first, like your mind couldn’t comprehend something this good. Your body could.

Johnny started picking up the pace when no sign of pain was present in your face. You stopped having control over your moans. You weren’t being loud like a porn star. It was more like you couldn’t fake it even if you tried.

Damn, that’s what I sound like?

He didn’t want to push it too far but he was so tempted to pound into you. It’s been so long and you honestly felt amazing. He loved looking down at you and watching your breasts jiggle every time he thrusted in. You squeezed so nicely around his cock. He was trying to hold himself back from getting rough and you could see that. You wouldn’t push your lucky but your body says otherwise. Hormones are crazy like that, they will yell at you to do anything to get the pleasure you need. Your arms wrapped around his neck and your legs around his waist. You looked into his eyes and you said something that seemed so out of character for you but was what you truly wanted.

“Please go harder.” You begged.

“Fuck, are you sure?” Trust me, Johnny wanted to but he was still worried about hurting you.

You whined and wrapped your legs even tighter around his waist which let him know you weren’t playing.

“Alright, I get it. Never would have expected you to be so needy.” He teased.

He’ll do you one better. How about a new position? Nothing crazy but you will like it. He grabbed your thighs and pushed your legs back before putting you into a mating press. And you thought he was already deep enough. Good thing you are surprisingly flexible.

You really do need to keep your legs open more. It felt amazing to you when Johnny started pounding into your pussy. This position made it easier to hit that sweet spot inside you which you didn’t even know about.

You could hear a wet, squishing sound coming from down there every time he pulled in and out. Not only that but there was also the sound of skin slapping every time he rammed into you. It turned you on even more. You know why? Cause that’s the sound of being fucked, honey!

Johnny had a nice view in front of him. Listening to you moan for him as he continues to fuck you. You make him feel young again. He still has it in him. The energy to have fun with a girl and make her moan. Fuck, he is so glad he is doing this now.

You would be thinking the same but all you could focus on was how big he was and how all of that was slamming into you. At this point why hide any of your moans. No one is around and this is your first time. You should have as much freedom as you want. Get the full experience. You were keeping your eyes closed out of embarrassment but that won’t last for long.

“Come on, open those pretty eyes for me. Can you do that just for me, gorgeous?” Johnny whispered to you.

When he says it like that how can you deny. You slowly opened your eyes to look up at him. Sure you were still embarrassed but you realize that it was just hotter this way. The connecting that the eyes make. You’ve never seen a man look at you in such a way. A look that makes you feel desirable. There might even be some affection behind it. Because Johnny does care for you. Even if this is a one time thing he wants you to have the best experience and walk away with no regrets. It’s working for you.

It was all so much. The sounds, the feelings, the connection, the intimacy is all getting to you. Your nails started scraping against his back lightly. Your toes curled and your legs shook a little. Your eyes almost rolled back and your moans grew louder. You were about to cum and Johnny could see that.

“You’re gonna cum? You wanna cum, pretty girl? Go ahead. Just keep looking at me.” He commanded.

You kept looking at Johnny as he slammed into your sweet spot again. This orgasm was better than the last one. It felt like a heat radiated through your body. All your worries came undone just like you. Like a knot just unraveling in your stomach. You looked at Johnny with half-lidded eyes as you let out breathy moans. Damn, he could have came right there on the spot but he was holding himself together.

“Bet that felt good, didn’t it.” He teased before leaving some kisses on your face.

You knew Johnny would feel like a king after making you cum twice. He’s cocky like that. Ah, but you forgot. He hasn’t cum yet.

“You think you can go a little longer for me, baby? Just a little longer.” He asked to keep going so he can cum.

He didn’t wanna overstimulate you during your first time but it’s your call. You’re a trooper, you can go a little longer even though you are incredibly sensitive down there now. You nodded which made him smile.

He stopped pressing down on you which was a relief for your legs. He still kept them open. He started thrusting into you again, not as rough as when he had you in a mating press but it still felt great. He watched as his cock went in and out of your pussy. Your wetness coated the condom and it still made a wet sound. Oh how he wished he could just take it off and fuck you raw. Fell how warm you are and cum into that sweet pussy of yours. But that’s a stupid idea. One that young Johnny would make and he’s a better man than that. Still won’t stop him from thinking about it.

And that view of you, mwah! Watching your legs shake slightly from being overstimulated. Your hands gripping the sheets around you. Your breasts kept jiggling no matter how hard he pounded into you. He can see your eyes grow wet as you handle the sensations. All that combined with his little fantasy of cumming inside you sent him over the edge. One more thrust in and he was cursing softly as his cum filled the condom.

You both were left panting after that wonderful experience. Johnny pulled out and went to dispose of the condom. Damn there was a lot in there.

You were pretty exhausted but happy nonetheless. You don’t really know what you are supposed to do after. If you’re supposed to just put your clothes on and walk off as if what happened didn’t happen. That’s not how this goes. Not with Johnny.

He came back to you with a bottle of water in his hand. He went next to you and helped you sit up, placing his other hand on your back.

“You’re probably really exhausted after that. Here, drink this.” You gladly accepted the bottle of water, not even realizing how parched you were.

“So, what now? Do I just leave?” You asked which just proved to Johnny that it was best that he did it with you first.

“If a man ever told you to leave right after he’s an asshole. Don’t ever let a man do that to you. Come here.” Johnny pulled you close to him and made you lay down.

Your head laid on his chest which his arm was wrapped around you. He pulled the blankets over you to make sure you were comfy. His fingers ran through your hair which soothed you even more. This was incredibly nice. You didn’t realize how tired you were till he put you in this position. Your eyelids started to grow heavy and your breathing slowed down. There was only one thing left to say to him.

“Thank you…” You said softly.

You drifted off to sleep in his arms as he gave you a kiss on your forehead. Maybe Johnny was getting pretty old since he needed to sleep as well after that. He too started to fall asleep, happy to have a wonderful girl next to him again.

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Cassie and Jacqui just came back from their little, or more like big, shopping trip. Cassie was about to call out to her dad till she saw your shoes at the entrance.

“Oh shit, she’s here?” She said.

She went around calling your name, surprised you weren’t out in plain sight. in fact, neither was her dad. She guessed that maybe you were upstairs in her room. Nope, not there either. Well if anything her dad had to be in his room or something. She knocked a few times but no answer. She just decided to open the door herself.

“Hey dad, do you have any idea where-“ Cassie stopped herself when you looked at the scene in front of her. Even Jacqui gasped out loud.

She slowly closed the door again, a shocked expression on her face. She looked at Jacqui who confirmed what they saw was true. Out of all of Cassie’s friends she would have never suspected you of sleeping with her father. She doesn’t even think you did it on purpose you’re not that kind of person. This was all so much and she could only mutter three words.

“What the fuck.”

After notes:🍊…🦊so like, you gonna pay rent or something? Do I gotta feed you? Fuck do you even eat? One of your comrades came crashing through the window this early morning. Who the fuck gonna pay for that? Ah, anyways. My daddy issues have come to say hi. Can’t tell if fucking Johnny will heal me or having him be a father figure to me will. Just need him to ruffle my hair and tell me my professors are the bitches not me. Hope y’all have a good day! Adiós!

[a-supernatural-writer]

Rusted Orange Leaves

Poly Lost Boys x gender neutral reader

It's been awhile! I am so sorry for being gone so long. Ever since graduating life has been sort of a roller coaster. Working full time along with trying to figure out student loans has been tough.

I wanted to start writing again and get back into The Lost Boys with a bit of a self indulgent fic. For context I recently lost my Nana (grandmother) a couple weeks ago and its been tough to say the very least. She was not only my grandmother but she was another mother to me and in this fic there is a lot of things that are actual things that my Nana and I would do together. Not only that but this is also a fic for anyone who might've lost there own grandmother or even a grandparent in general who you had a very close connection with.

Happy fall to all of you and I am very excited to write for one of my favorite seasons of the year. Get ready for some spooky, Halloween fun and in general fall themed fluff.

Word Count: 1,840

The smell of pumpkin and cinnamon filled David’s noise as he walked into a place that he called a second home. Music that he remembered coming out during the time of the 1910’s and 20’s played at a reasonable volume. Being loud enough for anyone to enjoy but just low enough that people could talk comfortably to each other without raising their voice. 

He smiled softly as he walked deeper into the house and caught sight of you doing your thing around the kitchen. 

You were making your grandmother’s infamous great pumpkin cookies that she made every year around the fall holidays. You smiled a little though that smile didn’t quite reach your eyes as you mixed in the chocolate morsels that went in the cookies. 

But now these cookies were to be made by you and other members of your family since your grandmother unfortunately passed away not even a month ago in September, just before the leaves started to turn. 

A part of you was sentimental; making her baked goods and other recipes she taught you ever since you were little. You and your mother were really the only two who she taught her recipes to, leaving it to the both of you to teach the rest of the family. 

You had her cookies on your list along with her pumpkin and apple pie and the traditional fall soups she made from scratch. You also had some of your own recipes you’ve been wanting to make. 

With it being the beginning of October, the leaves turning their beautiful vibrant colors, you turned on the music that your grandparents played and had been going at it in the kitchen since the early hours of the morning. 

You were so engrossed in your activity that you didn’t notice your boyfriend David walk into your home. You had given him a key a while ago, turning your home into his home as well… along with your other three boyfriends; Dwayne, Marko and Paul. 

David had gotten there before any of the boys could. He knew that you were dealing with your grief in your own way. You had been having your days where certain sounds, images and even scents sent you into a crying mess. Hell, even before your grandmother passed away, you got so upset because a candle you bought smelt like her. 

You wanted to bask in her scent forever. Her smell gave you comfort and it scared you that you could never live in it again so you haven’t even lit it since her passing. Afraid to lose it and never smell it again. 

David knew that your grandparents weren’t just that, they were another set of parents; a mother and father to you. David knew how much your grandmother loved you. He and the boys got to spend some time with her and she talked about you so much and always wanted to make sure that you were taken care of. You were her first grandchild and she loved you like you were her own. 

Your grandmother even had them tear up, making them promise her that they would love you and make sure that you would always be happy and live your life. And they promised that. 

You eyed the amount of batter in your mixing bowl, finally noticing David when he walked into the kitchen, “Hey.” You said quietly, not fully trusting your feelings in that moment. You wanted to cry, but at the same time, you were feeling the most comfortable since her passing. 

David smiled, wrapping an arm around your waist and placing a soft kiss on your temple, “Hey. I can see you’ve been busy.” 

You nodded, leaning into him, “I made some apple turnovers for the first time. I think they came out really good. I have another batch in the oven and pumpkin soup is simmering on the stove… think it’s too much?” 

David shook his head, “Nope. I think it’s perfect. Do you need any help?” David didn’t think it was too much. If anything with how much the four of them loved your food, it could never be enough. And who was he to stop you from cooking and baking, this was your way of coping, he didn’t want to stop you from healing. 

You felt warm and fuzzy when he offered to help. Cooking with David was always wonderful. It surprised you just how much he enjoyed doing the activity with you. It warmed your heart even more at the idea that you were gonna teach him your grandmother’s recipes. 

“Yeah, I can teach you her pumpkin pie and I wanted to make her chicken pot pie to go with the soup.” You could help but get excited as you explained what you wanted to make. 

David just smiled, taking off his coat and gloves, grabbing a basic brown waist apron that was hanging on a hook in your kitchen, matching your own. You got one for him after he complained a little by getting flour and food particles on his pants one night. 

He tied it around his waist and grabbed the kitchenware he needed and the ingredients that he needed. He followed your instructions as you did your own thing, chopping whatever vegetables and poultry needed for the chicken pot pie. 

Of course, during the longest part of cooking, prep work, did the others file into your home. 

Paul came in smiling at the scene before him. He never in his life thought he would see David doing such a domestic thing in his life, but then again, he didn’t think that for himself either. “Do we have to kiss the cooks?” Paul teased before giving you a kiss on the lips, tasting pumpkin and chocolate on your tongue as he gave you a stomach fluttering deep kiss that held nothing but love with no lust behind it. Just pure love. 

David rolled his eyes when Paul gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek to tease the bleach blonde. “Smells great in here.” 

Paul honestly loved it when the home smelled like this. Your home for him was a place of comfort. A place for him to unwind and just relax. That’s what made you very similar to your grandmother. Both of you made your homes feel like a home. 

He always thought your grandmother was the definition of a grandmother. A woman with a heart of gold and a pure soul. Always making sure everyone was taken care of. The day she passed was a sad one. 

He was frozen in fear the moment the news settled in for you. He had never seen someone feel so much pain that wasn’t physical. He’d seen you sob your heart out before. But seeing your face turn into anguish and cry out so loudly and so heart broken, truly shook him to his core. 

Since then he’s been treating you much more softly. It wasn’t per your request, but something in him changed and he wanted to show you just how much he cherished you. It’s not like he didn’t already, he just had a much more lustful and hornier way of going about it. 

Marko was next to walk in, carrying a small brown bag in his hand and smiled once he saw you spreading out the cookie batter on the pan, “Are those the pumpkin cookies you were talking about?” 

Marko softly grabbed your chin and placed a short kiss on each of your cheeks before placing one on your lips. 

You giggled as Marko gently nipped at your lip, “Yes. I’m gonna bake them once the rest of the apple turnovers are done… what did you get?” 

Marko smiled as he carefully pulled out two tea cups with saucers attached to them. One design to be like fall colored leaves and the other in the shape of a pumpkin with leaves. You cooed at the teacups, wanting to hold them but didn’t want to dirty them with the batter on your hands. 

“Oh, Marko. They’re so cute.” You cooed softly. Marko felt his chest swell with pride as he got you a gift that made your eyes sparkle. And he knew that tone in your voice. You only talk that way when you truly love something. 

“I’ll go put them with the rest of your collection.” He took the teacups and placed them in a wooden cupboard with glass that you used as a display case for your teacups that you pulled out in rotation to use. You had an addition to mugs and teacups and you had an ever growing collection that weren’t just sitting on a shelf but were used for different times throughout the year. 

Marko grinned to himself. He had been trying his best to make you smile recently. Little gifts and outings have been his way to do just that. Even though you’ve told him multiple times that he didn’t need to buy you any gifts, he wanted to. He loved seeing your eyes shine with happiness and he wanted to treat you. You’ve been going through your emotions and even your thoughts for the most part alone. 

You didn’t want to talk to your family much about how you were feeling, afraid of judgment on some weird level. You were afraid that your family wasn’t going to understand how you felt and the way you were going through your grieving process. 

After placing the teacups in the case, he took one of the apple turnovers you already made and took a bite of it, groaning at how good they were. “These are banging.” He comments. Paul joined in and grabbed one of his own, enjoying the freshly baked dessert. 

Dwayne was the last to walk in. Seeing you doing something that you love and glowing, his heart, if it could, would’ve fluttered. Without a word, Dwayne came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and leaned down placing a kiss on your forehead. “You’re not pushing yourself, are you?”

You shook your head, done with placing the batter on the pans, “No. I’ve been taking breaks here and there throughout the day.” 

Dwayne hummed, squeezing your waist a little, “Good.” 

He didn’t want you overworking yourself too much, even if it was doing something you loved. Sometimes, Dwayne would just make sure that you took time to rest and relax. He knew how hard the past couple weeks have been for you. If the nights of you crying in his arms didn’t tip him off, then you being extra clinging to them lately did. 

You moved to go wash your hands, Dwayne still having a grip on you and moving with you, not wanting to let go yet.

You chuckled, and after you dried off your hands, you reached up and tangled your fingers through his hair. Feeling the utmost content in this moment. 

Out of all the days that have gone by in the past couple weeks, for once you felt at ease.

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

NRC having the future selves come over and Future Jamil pulled Jamil aside and told him to get Kalim checked by a doctor outside of the family cause he has depression and anxiety.

OKAY, so, I was working on this until Tumblr decided to be a but and eat it while I was in the middle of typing it.

I decided for this lovely piece I am going to try and make it Kalim Harem ship worthy cause it's my ask and my blog so my rules. I also am going to do a little different in writing so if you were purely expecting just headcanons I apologize boo

WARNING: This Fic will touch on Depression, Anxiety, Emotional and Mental Abuse of a Child of legal minor under 20! It will also be very shippy and might have suggestive dialog so if you can't handle these warnings or the ship than please calmly click off and don't comment on my post about you not supporting the ship

NOW ONTO THE ASK!

Night Raven Collage Mirror Chamber - Day

The Mirror Chamber was buzzing in eager joy as students talk among themselves in many floods of seven known colors behind their seven dorm leaders to guide them ahead to listen to their Headmaster, a Sir Dire Crowley in all his glitter covered feathers and glory, who stands in front of hall and clears his through before speaking out in a might voice, "Today is a day you have all been waiting for, the day many of dorm heads and students have witnessed and treasured the memories from this forth beyond, the day you all will have the answers of your biggest questions; Who will I be in the future after Night Raven Collage?" As the bird man speaks for everyone to hear, a pair of ruby reds glance across the room, a smile on a cute youthful face of sunshine warmth as those eyes clash with many colors and shades of the rainbow across the room of faces that make his eager heart flutter. Kalim, the dorm head of Scarabia and heir to many riches and titles from the Asim Family once he graduates, was like everyone else in the room who are eager and excited for the joys of meeting his future self. Thoughts race his head, Will I look different? I wonder what Jamil will do? I wondering if Azul opened a restaurant of his own. I bet Leona had some kids, he's real good with kids! Then, a sticky thought crept in the back of his head-

You know they might not want you in the future...

Kalim's eyes, once bright and shining now dimmed, slowly look down to the floor as he feels many sharp nails dig into his skin with allowance as the voice croaks more, You're annoying, you're slow, you're loud, you don't understand the struggles they all go through... They're better off not dealing with you in the future... The young heir tried to shake the voice away as the voices of his father and step-mother rang with the claws digging into him, the voices of his father and step-mother after he first brought up these... thoughts of always weighing down his mood and how he feels no one would care if he...was gone...The voices of his father and step-mother telling he's "over reaching" and "Everyone feels sad Kalim, your sadness doesn't make it different" and "it's those people from Night Raven putting twisted ideas in your head, aren't they? You should break from them, we can be the family you need"

Then, a gentle hand cupping his breaks him out of the thoughts and pains. He glance down and sees Jamil's hand before looking into Jamil's soft worry cole-colored eyes.

Jamil, Scarabia's vice-dorm leader and servant boy of the Asim family and Kalim's closest companion he has, squeezes his hand softly as his eyes show he's waiting for his answer. Kalim smiles and squeezes back, his voice low to not dare interrupt their head master in his speech, "I'm fine. Just thinking on how cool this is." Jamil smiles fondly in response before the two looked up and clued back into the speech, "Now as you all know you have free reign of questions to ask your future selves, however you must be held limits of these questions I'm afraid. No questions of who you get married if you get married, no questions of your future children if you have any, and no questions of what is happening in their year as these questions might alter not only your futures but the futures of others. Now if that's settled, all seven dorm heads please step forth."

Kalim smiles as he steps forward, along side him are the foot steps of the other dorm leaders from the beautiful rose red hair to the yellow waist coat of opposite build, from wonderful ocean blue eyes behind glasses mixing with the desert browns and reds he himself wear, from the elegant stance of violet in confidence to the slightly slouched mess of fiery blue hair that whisp and curls slightly in emotion, all the way to the beautiful greens and blacks that wrap perfectly with a man holding his head high. All seven stand near each other in the same platform as their silly head master and the great mirror that floats before them all. Crowley slowly pours out a vile of glittering white into the mirror's small fountain pool of green and watches as it bubbles as his voice speaks, "Great Dark Mirror, come forth those who's souls shall be summoned, 10 years pass today, for the next 48 hours let them roam here."

The room fell silent as they all watched closely as the mirror started to shine brighter, growing brighter as the mirror's fountain bubbled and floated around the rim in frozen dew drops. In response of the scene Leona reached and grabs hold of Riddle's hand in a sudden grip, the sudden physicals affection didn't go unnoticed by the other dorm leaders of course judging by their eyes and Azul's small sly smile of tease. The mirror shined brighter then what it was before, causing many gasps and eyes covered or blocking the light, the scents of many things trapping the air as the noses of those involved get consumed by the scents,

Finally, after what felt like forever, the light dimmed greatly as foot steps echo the hall. Eyes slowly opened and looked after the blurry effects ward off, small gasps and whispers echoing off the crowd behind as they couldn't help but stare at these seven men standing in front of them almost in perfect unison. The red hair, The ears and tail, The glasses, The eyes, The hair made of fire, The face and beauty, The horns-

There stands perfect fine and still with same looks of awe are this year's seven dorm leaders 10 years older and wiser across from them seven dorm leaders now...

It started a few weeks prior, with the dorm leaders and their vice dorm heads in a meeting as usual with their school's head master, a Sir Dire Crowley, who told them of the tradition the previous decade of school students and staff did; The Two Days The Students' Future Selves Will Spend With Them

It was a crazy thing to hear but it seem to have happened before so who are they to question it?

They were all given papers to pass around their dorms so their dorm mates and classmates had time to prepare for the big day

Everyone soon met their older selves after the dorm leaders met theirs's

Everyone's surprised on Older Ortho's heigh and deeper voice

People are staring in complete awe on how more beautiful Vil, Azul, Kalim, Jamil, and Diasmonia got after ten years

Idia and the rest of his dorm were taken aback with Future Idia's better speaking skills and confidence and the brief mention of his business he owns and runs

Epel was proud to see he got taller and has muscles finally-

Riddle was pleased to see how well he grew after all this time

The first day was each dorm taking their future selves to the dorm and let them enjoy memory lane and nostalgia of their youths

That was fun as some realize nothing truly change while some notice there's some differences on the group and now

Future Idia and now Idia did a dorm wide gaming contest

Future Ortho and present day Ortho talk about video games and Future Ortho mentions Ortho might be married to someone lovely and that he has many nieces and nephews from his brother and his marriage

Riddle fed the hedgehogs with his future self

Jamil gets informed he's now married with some little ones and saw the world

Kalim and his future self are having a good time throwing a party

Leona was surprised to hear he has kids in the future

Ruggie's future self mentioned he takes mountains climbing missions which confuses him

Jack is glad to hear he has a bigger family in the future

It took a lot of Octavinelle to beg for information of "WHO MARRIED ME/US?!"

Vil and Rook enjoyed seeing not much has changed since now as they hear and watch the older versions of the two still call each other nicknames and enjoy their company

Diasmonia were so impressed with the older guests, shock even to find out Future!Lilia cooks now!

Second day the future selves would spend the entire school day with their youthful selves with some fun activities the teachers have set up for them

Many were shocked to find future Azul, Idia, Epel, and Riddle are great at physical education in spite of the present versions barely passing minus changing clothes or not as great levels as these men.

When asked how/why, they only answer this, "That's the best part of having a active and patient partner" which makes everyone wonder more who the Hell did they marry

As the day drew closer to a close, Future Jamil pulls Jamil aside and-

"You need to take Kalim to the doctors." "Wha-Why? I-Is Kalim sick-" "He isn't sick, he just...he has something going on. You have to bring him to the doctor and get him diagnose fast. Take him to someone far away from his family, that includes the doctor you both have been seeing since childhood!"

Working fast, Jamil finds Kalim and drags him to the nurse's office

The others followed after they saw the worry expression of their usually calm Jamil's eyes

After a while the nurse let Kalim go with a pill bottle and a slip of paper

"What is happened Kalim?" Ace asked worried. Kalim doesn't look up at any of them, swallowing a harsh lump of salt before he slowly does look up with trembling hands, tears threatening to burst from the seems, "S-Sometimes...I...I get sad... Like...you are all better off without me...holding anyone back...B-but it's fine, B-Baba said this'll go away soon and-" He was silence as Jamil's arms wrap around in a tight grip, like a snake holding a mouse close but not in a way to cause harm. As soon as the hug started and those ruby eyes sees the sadden and worry expression of the others those rubies crack and tears poured out as Kalim's shoulder shake and his mouth trembles out soft sobs

After he calms down the 21 students walked back to Scarabia where they cuddled, ate, and drank while talking about their two days back and forth, some (Azul and Riddle) making theories of what could be happening in the future until Deuce, who's snuggling against a drossy Silver, said, "Well there's one way to find out I guess, we have to just go with the flow of life..."

[void-occupation]

The O'Carrick Curse

I just talked about a headcanon in the comment section of a fic that I just read, and realized that maybe I should post it here too.

In the fic ("who you are" by mipmaps on A03) Will ends up offering the surname 'Treaty' to Halt, who accepts, which I am absolutely in love with because of the headcanon that I am about to share with you guys.

I feel like Halt sees the surname "O'Carrick" as a curse, especially when he considers how miserably and/or tragically every O'Carrick (that we know of) has lived and died.

~ Halt mentioned that his parents argued all the time and were pretty much straight-up neglectful to everyone but Ferris. (I also headcanon that they were abusive, but I'll go more in-depth about that another time).

~ Ferris was so blinded by greed that he tried to kill his twin brother multiple times over a throne, and did so terribly at being king that he was most beloved by the people when that same twin was pretending to be him - not to mention that when he finally started to do better, he was instantly murdered for it.

~ Caitlyn spent her childhood being neglected and forced to grieve as the one person who truly cared for her apparently died, and she was the only one who really knew who was behind it. She also spent her whole life being sickly, and it was eventually what killed her, leaving her son (who I'm sure Halt was grateful didn't carry the same name) alone with her snake of a brother.

~ And Halt. He was also neglected his whole childhood to the point of being so afraid of hurting his parents' relationship that he would rather run away and leave everything he had ever known and loved behind then tell his parents that his brother was trying to kill him. Speaking of, his twin brother - with whom he spent his entire childhood, and loved in a way that only twins can - tried to murder him on three separate occasions for a throne he didn't even want in the first place. Shortly after this, Halt lost the man who he had come to see as a father, and had to deal with the survivor's guilt brought on by being saved by Will's parents, and leaving Will himself orphaned. He also didn't tell a soul about who he really was until literal decades later. He had to give up a second home in order to save his son apprentice that he felt responsible for losing in the first place (whom he has almost lost multiple times - the majority of which he felt responsible for). Then, he lost the man that he considered a brother (or perhaps a lover????). Not to mention the fact that by book 8 - aside from Sean - his whole family was dead.

I feel like Halt was bittersweet about his standing as the last of the O'Carricks. One reason, is he's glad no one else has to carry the burden of the (in his mind) cursed name. A part of him however, wonders if perhaps Halt was the curse all along. That was another reason that Halt didn't offer Will the O'Carrick name at his graduation, he was afraid that sharing a surname with Will would leave his former apprentice vulnerable to his curse.

When Will first offered his surname to Halt, the older ranger teared up, and Will was startled when Halt seemed to be on the verge of breaking down.

Before Will could start apologizing, Halt found himself pouring out all of his thoughts about the curse that he had feared his whole life, and his fear of inflicting it on Will and causing him the same misery. Will was completely stunned, because the only other times Halt had been this vulnerable were when he was telling Will about his mother, and when he spoke about his own childhood, and even then, those times were nothing like this. He had never heard this self-loathing from his teacher before but as he processed the words, he realized that it must have been hidden deep within Halt all this time.

Will took Halt's hands in his own, cutting off the older ranger's uncharacteristic rambling, and looked deep into his stricken eyes. "Halt," his quiet voice cut through Halt's mind like an arrow, "You are many things, but a curse is not one of them." Halt's eyes misted over, and it was all he could do to maintain eye contact. Will had never seen this level of vulnerability and hurt in his teacher's gaze, and he would do anything to take his pain away.

"You are not a curse, or a burden, or a monster, and it is not your fault that things with your family turned out the way that they did. You were as much of a victim as they were, if not more so." Here, Will took a deep breath, and bent slightly to maintain eye contact with the Hibernian whose dark gaze had drifted downwards to hide his shame. "Do you know what you are?" The soft question was rhetorical, for Will needed no one to give him answers besides his own heart and memories, "You are a protector, a kind soul, and the greatest man I have ever known. And I am proud beyond belief to call you my friend, mentor, and father."

At this, Halt's gaze snapped back up in shock. How could Will still say that after seeing him like this? After all the broken promises, and the hurt and heartache cause by simply being associated with the former prince? However, before he could speak his thoughts, Will plowed on. "I offer you my surname, not out of a sense of debt or obligation, but because I love you, and I wish for the world to know that we are family, and nothing - no self-believed curse, no painful pasts, and certainly no self doubt - will ever stop me from seeing you as my father. I offer my name because I see how much pain your own brings you, and if I can do even one thing to show you the same care you have always showed for me, then I will gladly do so."

By this time, tears had begun to flow freely down Halt's face, and Will's own eyes burned as well. Slowly, Halt nodded and whispered his acceptance which Will had to strain to hear. The younger ranger pulled his father into a strong yet warm embrace that he could only hope expressed the love he had for the slight man before him.

As Halt melted into the embrace, he felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and though it would never truly leave him, the pain of his curse finally melted away as accepted the family he had feared for so long.

[jojoturnip]

Maybe what I needed you to understand was the love I had for him.

The love I still have.

I've been making a timeline of my life in therapy. It's split between good memories on top and bad ones on bottom. There's so much bad, that much you were willing to accept, but there is a lot of good, too.

Sometimes it's the good that keeps me up at night more than anything.

A younger me runs around our old apartment carrying the wand he hand-carved me from cherry wood ("all purpose, good for a young girl to learn all sorts of magic on"). I asked him to keep a crystal point off the top unlike the other wands he made because I liked to wave around, and I was afraid I'd hurt something I had a sharp tip. Besides, I loved that wand so much I kept it under my shirt, at the ready for playing pretend any chance I got. I'd have scratched myself to hell and back if he had added a point. He put a piece of polished, smooth citrine on the other end of it so I could at least channel some energy.

Citrine was my favorite stone. Because it was yellow. Because I loved the color yellow. Because it meant happiness and joy and sunshine. Because that's who I was.

He wrote me a song once, before he even got with my mom officially. He named it, "Sunshine Girl." My mom recorded me singing to myself in the mirror as I blow-dried my hair once and sent it to him as he wrote it. I was so embarrassed.

He would pick me up from school a lot, and I loved that part of my day. My elementary school got out earlier than my sister's middle school, so it meant riding around with him and getting fast food while we waited. He would teach me about music on the radio, tell me my voice was much prettier than Melissa's, and listen to all the drama I would bring home from my day.

When he went to auctioneering school, we practiced the tongue twisters together in the living room, laughing about Betty and her butter batter. He graduated as the valedictorian of his class. I cheered him on from the audience.

He taught me to shoot a bow, adjusted my draw weights and sights, cut me grips from his leather scraps, and fixed up the old long bow when I snapped it from pulling it too far. His hands over my shoulders as he taught me how to stand, over my three fingers as he taught me to aim. He made a quiver with me by hand with buffalo rawhide and sheep leather and sinew. He brought home horse hair for fringe but I was too freaked out to add it. He made the fringe from leather and pony beads instead.

The wand and the quiver and a locker we painted together and so many more things he gave me, made for me are sitting in that storage unit I'm supposed to empty. I don't know how to face them all.

I love him. I miss him. I think that's what you'll never be able to understand.

You didn't want to understand.

I have to juggle what he did, how he hurt me, with how he loved me.

We can call it grooming or gaining my trust or a false childhood built in manipulation, but that doesn't change the fact that it was my childhood. My reality. What I know love to be.

You said you couldn't handle cognitive dissonance. Can't you see I was born from it, bred from it, grown and germinated from its hard and rocky substrate?

A friend told me she thinks I drove you insane. The way I hold and stitch these contradictive truths together. I think that's the most reasonable explanation I've heard so far.

A part of me wants to apologize here. I am sorry that my life was too much for you to bear. That it scared you to see me go back to my family, to love people who hurt me time and time again. I know that must've been hard. I do understand where you are coming from.

Another part of me knows that I never asked for you to take that problem as your own. I never asked you to deal with my parents. I never asked you to save me. I didn't want that. I just wanted someones shoulder to lean and crash on while I carried the burden myself.

Instead, you told me that it was too much for you.

Instead, I supported you through every goddamn second of you refusing to take care of yourself. How was that not too much? You had the option to change. I cannot change my memories, my childhood.

You ask me to lose my family but you cannot get new parents like you can a boyfriend.

You like to compare my situation with you and your ex, a fool's comparison. Your abuser did not raise you. You keep your life when you walk away. You were not made of a boyfriend you met in college. Our situations are different. Our lives are different.

We are different. You never seemed to get that.

My life is tainted. I can't look through rose colored glasses, the stain remains. But I can't get rid of the memories either, or cast them out in distaste. They are a part of me. They are what made me.

I think I needed you to see that.

Remember a week before you broke up with me, you called asking for the explicit details of quite possibly the worst events of my life. Things I can't write about, much less talk about. You said you wouldn't be able to understand me without knowing.

You left me crying on the phone. It was never about understanding.

It took me one and a half years to tell you the bad stuff. It was harder to tell you the good, you know. It's all racing around, conflicting inside of me, too. But if you wanted to understand me, know me like a partner should, it required knowing the good. Seeing me, and how I am built of cognitive dissonance. Seeing the power that it gives me in empathizing with you and others, and the pain that it gives me, too. My existence is a fragile thing.

They were not excuses. They were glimpses into my mind. Into what I go through every single day.

When I let you in, you only wanted to see the bad. But you have to see the good, too. The gut wrenching good that bleeds out of me in yellow. The citrine stones and bamboo arrows and rainbow cheesecakes and Annie lockets.

I'm a storyteller, and I wanted you to know my story. You only wanted to hear a parroted version of your own sung back at you.

I am not you. I never will be.

[monsterwaterwolf6]

The Restoring Team: Chapter 2

Kenna is so patient waiting for Poppy answer. Poppy sits down and think for while. “Do you remember anything happened four years ago? What your very last mission with your team?”

Kenna sigh, “Well, we were going to rescue the hostages who kidnapped by Prototype’s cults… included my teammate’s wife and daughter. But it was too late saved them. The cults used the hostages for experiments to something what they had goals and failure. The hostages were killed, same for…” A memory appearing in her mind, her teammate’s wife and daughter were found as dead in the tube with filled water and the ECG were beeping told their hearts stopped. Her hand lay on her face, “He was out of control in rage with his superpower. He slashed the tubes where the hostages in, killed the cults, destroy anything in lab, and… attacked us as well. We tried to stop or shout him snap out but not working. They started to stop or attack him. I got close to him, suddenly I got slash by him. I got down and watch other teammates attacking him before I black out. I know he do not mean it; he lost his wife and daughter. They are his light as bright his darkness and now lost light and fall in the darkness. He had bad childhood; he had no family or friends. My people who afraid of him. I found him and bought him to my house. When we joined as Space Riders, Black Night, and I made the new friends as my team. What happened to my team, Poppy?”

Poppy listens and quiet, “Well. Once I saw your team with you when you were heavy wound and fell in coma. You were taking to hospital. Your team were bad arguments and fighting. They felt not trust anymore and decided to…” Silent few minutes, “Quit be Space Riders and left to their home… I tried to stop them, but they were not listening. The prototype and his cults’ plans, but they did not realize it. And… Prototype and the Cults had to break their friendship get them quit and Space Riders losing power for fighting and protecting all planets. They know about your team is strong. “

Kenna shocked and shaking fist hands, “Damn it… How bad while in four years? And I am so sorry about my team went to quit… I was not there that time, my power of heal was slowly because of Black Night’s power, Darkness”

Poppy nods her head, “Few lost space riders… Yes, this darkness is rare like Black Night had it. It is kind like absorbed any superpowers which why your heal power is slowly. I do not see one of Space Riders have a darkness as superpower in past before Black Night. However, I have few teams are strong after they had graduated and join us after your team left. They are best and strong as your team. I am glad they are doing well. Also, Dogday’s team has found something that Prototype, and the cults planned, like the monsters. They are strong. some Space Riders do not have superpowers and can not beat the monsters. One teammate of Dogday almost killed but she had idea to shot at the glasses from ceiling and the glass shattered down to kill a monster. She is clever. Only your team can deal with the monsters if we get them back…”

Kenna shocks, “The Monsters? That not good. I must get my team back, but I do not think so I can get Black Night back. He is so broken heart and will refusing go back be Space Rider. I do not know what I am doing…”

Poppy hums her finger and thumb on her chin, “mmmm, I have one someone almost familiar with Black Night’s wife and daughter. She is one of Dogday’s teammate, you will see. So, I cannot let you go, you are critical health. You need rest and get heal yourself. Once you get completely heal, you will get ready to go, you will join best team to restoring your team. Got it?”

Kenna groans, “Oh man, I hated hospital. It is so bored as hell. Worst foods I ate all my life. Fine, I will get heal and get physical therapy for my body improving. When the doctors let me go, I will need some trains myself.”

Poppy rolled her eyes, “Stop complaining. Oh! You need take quick test if you know anything from Space Rider Academia. I will be contacting to Miss Delight about it. That a rule, that you were coma in four years as long time.”

Kenna nods and remembered, “Oh that about Black Night’s darkness, I never see it like that. I saw that very first time his power is four years ago. That i-“. Someone opens the doors. Poppy and Kenna look someone, Poppy realizes it is Dogday and his teammates. Poppy hears ‘Fuck me’ from annoying Kenna and glares at Kenna before looking back to Dogday and his teammates.

“Please forgive her for causing trouble with you. Kenna is best known a firebird from a team call ‘The Myths’. The Myths is very first for ever one of all teammates have superpowers, none has un-superpowers. Three of eight teammates are very stronger, and five of eight teammates are best fighters. Unfortunate they quitted being Space riders and left. Kenna is only one left of teammates of The Myths. Kenna, this is Dogday and his team. Dogday is leader of his team. This purple cat is Catnap, he is second commander of team. Two best fighers, green rabbit is Hoppy Hopscotch and a chicken is KickinChicken. A intelligent cyan elephant is Bubba Bubbaphant. A Chef pig is PickyPiggy. A nurse bear is Bobby Bearhug. Oh, where Craftycorn is?”

Bobby smiles “She is with her boyfriend Drago. She is busy right now. *giggles*”

Kenna noticed and sit up in panics, “Oh fuck. Did my husband and daughter know about I was coma?”

Poppy looks at her in annoying, “I had informed them, you can call them later. You are always troubling whatever hell you are doing…” She is shaking her head. “Will you take Kenna to hospital?”

Kenna whisper ‘I am not old yet, only 27- no wait that four years, then 31.’ Her arms are crossing on chest. She feels a glares by Poppy but ignore her. Dogday get closed her, “Respect to her. She is our boss”

Kenna waves her hand, “Don’t worry about it, I liked annoying on Poppy since I joined a Space Riders. I never forgot about this happening when Poppy called my team in ‘emergency’, and we rushed to her, but she asks something us about new teams will join after graduation. My female teammates and I were busy to hold my captain before she was ready to destroy on speakers… Poppy do not notice this instead she busies on system…”

Poppy surprised, “Really?” Kenna nods. “Well, I don’t know that she has short temper. However, get out of this room now!” The space riders left (Bubba carrying Kenna) and way to hospital.

Kenna thinking to say, “Um, I am sorry about what I did to you all. I just panicked and went to see poppy about my team. I will not run away from hospital, well I wanted to, but Poppy will yell at me if I do.”

Hoppy laughs, “You are look like fun. Kickin and I always get trouble all times. Hey Kickin we should join Kenna!” Kickin quickly nods few times. Kenna laughs.

Stop laugh and sad smiles, “I must get my team back soon as I can.” Bobby questions, “Why your team quitted being Space Riders? Did something happen four years ago when you were bad wounded.”

Kenna quiet and scratch behind her head, “Well, yeah. That unbelievably bad happens but I need think about it, and Poppy told me anything. Maybe I will find my captain’s last report before she left.”

Anyone stop walking, Dogdag asks, “Your captain is female? That few female can become captains, I see some teams have. What she looks like is? About your teammates?”

Kenna smiles, “You need to wait when I can bring them back. But Poppy said one of your teammates familiar with my teammate’s wife and daughter. Craftycorn right?” They are nods same times. “Where she is? I don’t meet her yet. Hope I am not getting freak out and think they are alive…”

Dogday confusing, “What you mean? Did something happen to your teammate’s wife and daughter?” Kenna quiet few minutes and tap Bubba to move. They walking to a hospital and meet a doctor and a nurse.

A doctor sighs when he saw Kenna, “You should not move your body, it is so weak to move. I am surprising your wings are fine. Let us get her to a room, thank you for bringing her back here.” Dogday and his team bows at a doctor. Kenna sits down on wheelchair before Kenna leave, Kenna looks at them, “If Poppy picks you as team join my mission to get my team back, I will be explaining anything.” Kenna, a doctor, and a nurse left.

Still working on drawing Kenna but often Boston came to me… so I don’t think about my characters can date with Dogday or his team instead they have families. I am not sure which one date with them. I decided to use characters belong to @tekumaniac311. Forgive me for use your character, I like yours and they are cool.

Kenna belong to me.

Space Riders belong to @onyxonline

Drago belong to @tekumaniac311

[acomposerofdreams-blog]

Why I’m afriad of Red, Yellow, and Blue

It is deceptively simple, a sheet of red boarded by a line of dark blue on the left, and a bright cheerful line of yellow on the right. The colors just pop out at you and linger in your mind, it is easy to picture, simple to recreate in your imagination, and utterly haunting in its simple context. Cause yes, there is no denying that the painting itself is… simple, that’s the point. There is nothing that gets in between you and connecting to those colors the terrifying question it asks so blatantly. Why are you afraid of Red, Yellow, and Blue?

Such is Barnett Newman’s first iteration of his series of paintings titled, “Who’s Afraid of Red, Yellow, and Blue”. A story of a man whose life begins as the child of Immigrants from Poland, a childhood spent watching the First World War who turned into a young man that graduated art school right before the Great Depression, who then saw the horrors of the Second World War unfold only to then be faced with what seemed like at the time… imminent nuclear extinction. The story of his life and how it affected his art should be an essay in its own right, however that is not the point today. It is a more personalized look at what might be considered his most beloved and reviled work. Today I’d prefer to talk about why I am afraid of “Red, Yellow, and Blue”.

My family has a history of rage, of lashing out in anger against those we love the most, especially on my father’s side. My own father struggled with controlling his emotions as a frustrated man with three sons that he always had a hard time understanding. To which I’m not saying that he was abusive or hurtful towards myself, my brothers, or my mother, just that he was open with that struggle. I can remember him having to remove himself from situations when he was angry, cause he could feel that surge of adrenaline that could lead to him losing control. I can remember times when his voice rose and I could hear him rant through the walls of our home as he told my mom about all the things that weighed down on his mind and shoulders. 

 I never learned to fear his anger, just my own.

One of the memories that sticks out most is when I was twelve, with all the mess that comes with being a pre-teen who feels lost, alone, and scared whenever he steps outside of the house because of his own anxieties. The moment was with my younger brother, I can’t remember what we were arguing about, but I remember I just had the urge to strangle him cause I was so angry. I didn’t though, I knew enough about my own father’s struggle that what I needed was space, though I didn’t know how that would help. So I left, I stomped down the hallway as he badgered me about the “thing” and just as I passed by his bedroom, the youngest brother stuck his head out cause he was worried about what was going on. 

I punched my six year old brother right across the jaw. 

Cause I could… he wasn’t in my way, he wasn’t doing anything, he was just worried about his oldest brother. I had just wanted to hurt someone, he was the easiest person to hurt.

I’ve never lived that moment down, through a great deal of effort and time I learned that moment was forgiven, along with others like it that I still can’t quite forgive myself for, even though forgiveness was given. I do not like the person I am when I’m angry, that person who takes joy in hurting others as a way to deal with his own hurt. Though I have been told repeatedly that I’m no longer that person, I can still feel him deep within me, gnawing at the bars, hoping to get out. That part of me isn’t gone, it’s just controlled, cause anger doesn’t just go away… you just get better at handling it.

I still fear that anger, I still am very much afraid about what kind of person I am with when rage can so easily be my chief motivator. What kind of Father could I be? What does that mean for me as a Husband? How does that affect my wife? My friends?

So what else am I supposed to see when I look at “Red, Yellow, and Blue”? 

The whole point of it is to ask that question, then put it on those colors so that you have to examine them. That is the brilliance and terror of such a piece of art. Perhaps that’s why when the series of four paintings have been displayed, there have been protests, threats made to staff members, and people boycotting the places that chose to display these four simple paintings. And I can understand that desire, when I look at these paintings I feel… fear. I want to reach out and throw these paintings in a fire, dump them in a river, or shoot them into the sun so that they never have to make me confront that which I fear again. But it’d be in vain, that picture in my head is far more haunting than any physical painting, forcing me to confront the question again and again… 

I have changed though, for the better even. Change that has come with a great deal of understanding from my Father. I remember much of his own thoughts on anger, and I remember most that he wasn’t angry with me after such a moment. Just sad that his own family tendencies had passed so easily to his children. I remember one day I had locked myself in my room because I was furious at, again, my brothers. I had at the time an old walking stick  that was something of a family heirloom, it was heavy, strong, with a thick metal tip. My door never stood a chance as I punched holes through it, to the point that about a quarter of it probably couldn’t be considered part of the door anymore. 

I was so ashamed. I had terrified everyone in my family. Our dog wouldn’t go near me for days, the cats wouldn’t enter my room for another week, and those holes in the wall only got repaired when we eventually moved out of that house some four years later. Yet in counter to that… I remember my dad sitting on my bed right afterwards. Telling me that he understood how much anger must have been in me, cause he had felt that before, and still felt it. He told me that, for now, I was right to remove myself till I learned how to control myself better. We talked about how good anger felt, and what bad things could happen because of it. I like to think that my door was never replaced because my parents wanted me to keep a reminder of how dangerous uncontrolled anger could be.

This would be the part where I’d also talk about kind and understanding therapists, but that wasn’t in the cards. We didn’t have the kind of money for a child to spend several hours a week meeting with someone to help work out all of their problems, something that is likely still needed. But even without that source of help, I became better at not being ruled by my anger through the help of a family that loved and supported me. First from my parents, then from my brothers, and finally from my loving partner. 

I have changed for the better by confronting what scares me, and learning to not let it rule me. By taking that fear, that anger, to understand that it is wholly my own. 

I hope to continue doing so.

[sourcherrydaydream]

This picture holds a lot of meaning to me. It's an art piece I walked past all the time in 2021. Within the confines of a sterile, sad hospital, with an even more sad reason to be there, it would bring a smile to my face, remind me to be hopeful, and provide a short moment of escape from my diagnosis.

September is Blood Cancer/Leukemia and Lymphoma Awareness Month. Every year, around 9,000 people are diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma in the United States. In February 2021, a few weeks after my 22nd birthday, I was one of those people. Before then, I didn’t even know Hodgkin's Lymphoma existed as a form of cancer. The doctor who told me my results was a head and neck surgeon. She told me to look it up and laughed saying she was relieved she could be off the hook, that this wasn’t her area of expertise, and that someone should call us from Oncology within the next day or two. It was the heat of the pandemic before vaccines were readily available to anyone except healthcare staff or people with special privileges.

I got the news in my parent's home with the two of them surrounding me feeling like everything I knew was collapsing. Why me? What did I do wrong to have this happen to me? Why is nobody walking us through the next steps? I’m scared. What if I die? I’m too young. Is this real? Luckily, we were able to get on the phone with a nurse from the Oncology department within the day, do some research of our own, and get the ball rolling with more testing and treatment discussion.

On March 1st, 2021, I started my first round of chemotherapy. That was also the day I got into the Masters in Social Work Program that I am now in my final year of. In a moment of such difficulty, I also felt so much hope. I had to get vaccinated between chemotherapy treatments, I was becoming more and more immunocompromised as treatments carried on, I got shingles around my PICC line, I lost my hair day by day, I had horrible and amazing experiences with healthcare professionals, I watched a lot of TV, I got acupuncture, the list can go on. I'll never forget how it felt to feel the chemo going through my body. How the last hour was the most uncomfortable. How I was so restless and nauseous and inflamed. Most days, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I still completed my B. A in Philosophy and graduated during this process.

I feel so lucky that it was caught early, and I am currently in remission, healthy and in a good place. I am so lucky that my mom works at the hospital where I received care, so I had the best insurance, and that my privileges got me through the journey with much more ease than most.

It's one of the most horrible experiences. Sometimes it was more of a burden trying to share how bad I felt because I was afraid that I would make other people feel scared or uncomfortable. Sometimes it was that I was afraid saying it out loud would make my fear come true. It felt safer to withhold or deal with these things on my own. In retrospect, I wouldn't encourage the practice of withholding. It's important to speak the truth somewhere safe.

It was an extremely difficult, painful, scary experience that I would not have been able to get through without my family and friends. They held me up when I couldn’t. They had to be hopeful when I couldn’t be. I am forever grateful.

To anyone who knows anyone going through a difficult health journey, try not to let your discomfort, pity, or ego guide how you choose to or hope to connect. Maybe you decide not to reach out, maybe you do, but think about it truly and honestly. Don’t get offended by people’s decision to not respond, and don’t put pressure on them. I very often found myself having to sugarcoat my feelings/experiences or responses so that I could protect other people’s feelings. Putting them before myself, and draining my already low energy. If I could encourage one sentiment from my experiences, it would be to remember that your true intention will always be felt.

This is just my point of view. This is only a small part of my story. I wish I had known more back then, but that wasn't possible.

[syringa-ephemeris]

Happy 2H Profection Year!

Or something.

I was supposed to make this entry a week ago. But in between juggling my PMDD, job, personal projects, and all the planetary happenings since Leo season started, I decided it was best to slow down and keep a close check on my health first.

But I digress. Mentally speaking, I'm actually doing better these days. My body feels quite beat though. The commute in this country is dogshit.

It was a rainy night when I first started writing this, I was sitting alone at a dinner reservation, waiting for my advanced birthday dinner. I wanted to do something different for my birthday after all I've gone through. It was normal for me to spend it alone, but I hadn't really done anything special for me before. And so after a weekend of deliberation, I booked myself a dinner reservation at a place I've long wanted to try and also bought myself a limited-edition dress back in July.

Getting to the place was easy. I had already placed a deposit, and I loathe to waste anyone's time. Wearing the dress though, was a different matter entirely. It was a long, pretty thing. I was afraid of being judged as over-the-top and self-indulgent. In the end, I managed to convince myself to wear my oversized dress after seeing a couple of Genshin cosplayers during my commute. Slay, kiddos! And thank you. It was also my alma mater's graduation day at the time, so I guess we're all having our very own special days that day.

I ordered an extra upper tea along with my meal because quite honestly, I can never quite shake the melancholia that overcomes me the week my birthday rolls around. I once dreamed of having a huge birthday party. Make it an adult debut so to speak, since I didn't feel like I could do one back when I turned 18. Yet today, I chose to celebrate by myself. I didn't even invite any family lol

My 24th/1H profection year was a doozy. I'd like to say it was a net positive. I graduated (finally!!), got a job, started embracing my AuDHD. But I also lost my cat (death) and lost some friends (betrayal). So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . Honestly, it felt like my 12H year was still pranking me.

The 2H year deals with values. And from this point on, I'd like to start valuing myself more, start being more unapologetic for who I am. It's not just about the money--though that's a relationship I'm also working on. It's not enough that I'm no longer passively suicidal--I want to make space for myself too. And I want to own that space in spite of the people that tell me I'm unworthy.

Which is just a long-winded way of me saying that this dinner is part of my baby steps in living more as myself. I already watch movies, shop, eat, etc. by myself. But I'm ngl, the dinner reservation still felt like an uneasy growth because all attention was on me. It's not like when you're performing as part of a group. You can just mirror and fade into the background. When people are being attentive of you, just you, you (I, at least) sometimes catch yourself trying to look as dignified as your meal.

Or you can relax. Unclench and unmask. Most I'll do is straighten my back.

One day, it would be nice to have people celebrate me in my terms. But this one has stopped waiting. From now on, I celebrate each day as myself. Later on, I might even have the guts to do some shopping in my day dress. If people will look at me for being weird anyway, I might as well serve them a feast to look at.

[automatismoateo]

Loosing my bestfriend to religion but she is happier like this, so idk how to respond appropriately via /r/atheism

Loosing my bestfriend to religion but she is happier like this, so idk how to respond appropriately

I need to talk to someone about this, if this post doesnt belong in this sub I am sorry.

Well, as the title says: I am loosing my bestfriend (here revered to as B) to religion. And idk why I feel like I do or how to deal with this.

Some backround infos:B and I have been best friends for 10 years, from the age of 10 to now. We both grew up christian, went to an all christian girls school, went to church every week, etc. But growing older I realised I was queer and the people I was told to look up to basically wanted me gone. I got depression and social anxiety with 12. It was a shitty time, lol. I am still dealing with this (finally starting therapy in october :D). I am not religious or believing in any way at all. B also became less and less religious, stopped going to church (tho never giving up on god completely as far as I know).We both became feminists, vegan, and queerfriendly. We graduated 3 years ago and both moved away from our hometown, I across the country right after graduation, she to a completely new country 1,5 years ago. Our convos now are only online.

B had a bad time starting studying so far away from her family and friends. She was lonely and anxious, her only friend there invited her to biblestudy and even tho she told me she doesnt take it very seriously she started going every week. She has been experiencing winter depression for forever and the winter 22/23 hit her hard. Her roommate sexually assaulted her third roommate, wich was also hard on her. She was angry about the fact her church didnt exclude her roommate after sexually assaulting someone. But then she stayed with the pastors wife for a while (bc she didnt feel safe in her flat), taking bible study more and more seriously. Spring came and her depression got better again (as every year), but this time she blamed god and jesus and thinks he healed her from all her hardships. She now believes that one of her friends sees gods will in his dreams, every situation she experiences is a sign from god, everytime she feels bad it is an opportunity provided to learn and everytime she feels good is because her believe healed her. She is happy now, bc she doenst worry about anything anymore, since it is all gods will. She is healthy, eats well again, has a lot of friends in her church, a strong female community, she is genuinely doing extremely well.

She never pushes any of her believes on me, but I find it hard to believe that she doesnt think I am the idiot for not just excepting god and be healed of my depression but instead "choose" to suffer. She does offer to pray for me everytime I mention having a hard time with something.

Idk why I feel so shitty about all this, I am genuinely glad she is doing better. But I think it is absolutely egocentric to think god took the time to heal her but not every child dying of cancer, who believed just as hard as her. And she is studying medicine. I am afraid that winter will come, she will get depressed again and will spiral even harder. It annoys me that every conversation I have with her is about god and church at some point. And genuinely believing that your friends can communicate with god sounds delusional to me. Her Church is her family rn and I think it is awesome she is doing better and found people who accept her, but idk how to deal with hearing how great everyone in her church is, how binding believes are, how deeply she is connected to every other believer, all while all of these believes are the reason for my family hating me, for my friends finding me weird, for myself hating me. How can she call herself a feminist but get so deeply involved in a church wich is currently protecting a sexual abuser.

I love her, but everytime we talk I just get so frustrated and have to leave before I say something mean or anti-her-religion.

I am sure a lot of people experienced situation similar to this, so I would really love to hear from yall how I can best deal with this.

edit: Unsure of some of the words I used, english is not my first language, sorry.

Submitted July 21, 2023 at 02:06PM by Ratshapedsandwich (From Reddit https://ift.tt/irHgTwn)

[moejommadontpreach]

I’m feeling better about myself recently. At least today. I know Monday was rough. (For posterity this is on Wednesday)

I’ve made my workouts a little more vigorous, adding in body weight stuff between lifts. I’ve stuck to a regimen for the last two weeks and that I’ve recorded my workouts as detailed as possible. The documenting adds some accomplishment. My body is slowly gaining tone. I’m told conventional people like to document. Idk if that was an archeological, anthropological, or psychological concept. I may have made it up.

I need to walk more. I like to walk 4+ miles a day on hills. I like watching peoples dogs and gardens. Plus there’s 4 out door cats I can pet and approach. 1 ginger. 2 tuxedos and a tabby. The tabby has this really cute collar that says “if I am on x,y, or z streets I am not lost!!”

Still no progress on me actually graduating. Anytime someone tries to motivate I feel the need to further entrench myself. I’m combating years of thinking I’m not going anywhere. Years of thinking about self harm and suicide. Losing my father in that awful slow way sapped my willpower. I never valued life much before. and during that episode… I just wanted the suffering to stop for everyone.

I read a few articles on NSSI and that helped calm me some. Knowing other people have self harmed to try and combat extreme emotions helped me feel like I wasn’t a freak. I know that if I was teleported into someone’s life who was self harming I’d be rush with empathy. Idk if I could help them. I’d just want them to hear “I understand you, this person doesn’t not think you’re a freak. We all have a value. We have to find it ourselves, which is the hard part, but it can be found. Your crisis is shitty. There are ways to deal with it”

Now my fathers at peace but I still suffer. Maybe baseline suffering maybe, maybe a little less. I’m more at peace with my failed romances at least. Idk why I was so afraid of being alone as a kid. Everyone is alone to some extent. Just like every family is dysfunctional.

Looking for free creative writing courses currently. And playing more video games that I love.

[shinra-makonoid]

I came out of this day a bit depressed and I'm not sure exactly why. We had a whole talk about palliative care and all, but as soon as I said that I have graduated after 2 years of studying, I felt incredibly diminished as a person. I am very vulnerable about this, and I wish I could explain why it happens in such a way (it's a mix of circonstances, money, being homeless then, psychiatric issues) but I don't really want to. I hate having that complex about myself, and it's not like not having a lot of diploma is a bad thing (it doesn't mean much about a person, proof is, I saw dumbasses having PhDs), but I think I feel that way because I'm majoritarily surrounded by people with more diplomas than I have, I guess? Even in my work. It's a real suffering, and a weird one, because it's not like anyone really makes me feel that way either for real. I imagine people look at me differently but it doesn't mean they do. I also am afraid constantly about the team feeling like I'm an outsider that is problematic, I try as much as I can to be open, polite and in general not take too much place anywhere, because I really really don't want to make them uncomfortable or cause issues.

The sadness I felt could also be the build up from tiredness (this is extremely tiring for me, despite the fact that I don't really do anything at all during the day except smile through my mask, say hello, nod and listen listen listen, obviously I ask a bunch of questions and read stuff but like... Yeah lmao). Which I guess should be taking into account, if I'm tired for 2 days, maybe it means I won't have the strenght to actually do it at all? But it could also be because I'm not having enough calories compared to the energy needed to go through a whole day either (and I ate more these past days due to that effect, I have to walk 1h40 a day just for transportation, and it's not all flat, so just that is demanding, and then there's a lot more walking included during the day too, etc). It could also be the general depression I feel these days, so idk. I wake up earlier than my alarm, and I do feel rested, it's just during the day that it's harder, and when I come home my whole body is tired.

And finally it could just be the patients. Like, some being in a very bad state, especially when you see the families, is heartbreaking, and I don't know those people at all but I know their sadness. Some patients are very lonely and you can see the sadness creasing deep their face. I don't think I've ever saw such expressive faces before. I never focused so much on how people look, but the doctor asks me how I feel patients are, so I'm very focused on that. If they can't talk, you have to look at their face to see whether they're in pain or not, if their body are comfortable or not, etc. Some are really endearing in their own way. Today one patient left (alive) and she was a very "fighting" patient, non compliant and all, but she was a scared old lady dealing with her shit like she can and in one day and a half I got attached to that old lady because I listened to her rant about how "covid is dumb" and that "youngsters today are always tired", you know?

"Funny" thing is that the tiredness and the depression only comes when I'm out of the hospital. It's like when I'm super stressed at work and I feel right, up until I'm in my home where I just roll in a ball and panic. I have to be very mindful of this, but I don't really know how, could be the tiredness that makes it all explodes too, I was pretty much fine during my meal today for ex.

I had my first internship day for palliative care and it was really interesting. Because they're less under pressure to deal with patients, the doctor had time to explain to me each patients, their issues, their meds, and understand better the function of the structure.

It was also very interesting to be on the side of doctors, dealing with (often ngl) very unreasonable families of patients (which is very understandable). And the communication issues between structures and inside the structure. Palliative care is social by nature so there's a lot of actors playing inside of it.

[letarasstuff]

Ranting

(A/N): This was requested by an anon, I hope you like it :)

Summary: In the middle of midterms, Spencer's daughter has enough and for the first time in her life, she rants to the team

Warnings: one swear word, school, school stress, mental breakdown, shitty friends, a bit of angst (but there is fluff to balance that out), weird grammatical sentences that are according to google correct

Wordcount: 2.3k

✨Masterlist✨ _____________________________ As a teenager, Spencer was pretty closed off. But this had several reasons, like being a child (or moreover a teen prodigy) at college and getting his first Ph.D, or that he hadn’t had a safety net of people he could have gone to. So as he became a father himself, he tried everything possible to assure his own daughter that her feelings and thoughts are always welcome and valid.

Unfortunately (Y/N) herself has developed the same habit starting high school and ever since Spencer can’t do anything to get her to open up to him. It’s not like they don’t have a good relationship, they have one of the strongest father-daughter bonds the BAU has ever witnessed. The girl simply has other ways to cope with her feelings and how to act them out in the safety of her own four walls. Her father learned to accept it, knowing that he can’t and won’t force her to talk to him.

So what follows now not only shocked Spencer. But also his work family.

It’s the time every teen in high school dreads: Midterms.

A word a teacher can mutter and a shiver goes through the rows of students in the classroom. Or at least it feels like it to (Y/N). She takes her school work very seriously. In her mind every single grade determines her future.

The rational part in her knows that the grades in her sophomore year doesn’t matter. That they are even long forgotten when she graduates. There is just so much pressure on her. But it isn’t coming from her father.

Spencer is pretty laid-back regarding school. He knows his daughter is trying her best and that it’s just the tenth grade and not the end of the world. School is not everything life has to offer, especially he has to know it as a scholar and profiler flying through the country in a jet back and forth.

It’s (Y/N)’s classmates, who pressure her to get good grades.

“We depend on you and your notes”, Tyler exclaims as he jogs next to her through the busy hallway. “Ty, I know. But I don’t have the time to get them done for all of you to understand by tomorrow. They are still a mess that only I know to see through. I still have to finish my history project and I go to my Dad’s work this afternoon, which means I won’t get much done and I still have to do the homework I got today before sorting my notes for the test in two days.”

At her locker, the boy still doesn’t let go of the subject. “Do you want to say that our grades don’t matter as much as yours? Because this would be a true selfish statement.” Maybe it is the lack of sleep, because she pulled three all-nighters in two weeks, or the fact that she is slowly getting fed up being treated like an unpaid private teacher, but (Y/N) can’t stop her sassy answer. “Tyler, you wouldn't even know how to tell apart your ass from your head if it weren’t for me and my help in biology. You wouldn’t even know how to spell selfish if I didn’t let you copy my answers in spelling tests in elementary school.”

Done with the day and her friend’s shit, she slams the door of her locker shut and leaves a flabbergasted boy behind. Half an hour later the teenager enters the bullpen with her visitor badge clipped to the pocket of her sweater.

On the way there she was fuming. The audacity of her friends. It’s not only Tyler, who tried to get her notes of a unit, she was the only one listening, even though the teacher said loud and clear that this will be important for midterms. A few other friends out of the group she usually hangs out with texted her the same question of when her notes will be given to them. Understandably, (Y/N) comes into the office in the worst mood anyone from the team ever saw, including her own father.

“Hey Sweetheart”, he tries to greet her with a hug. Even though both of them are not big on touch, they are extra affectionate with people they are close to.

To everybody’s surprise, the girl takes a step back, effectively avoiding his open arms. “Hey”, she grumbles out before taking a seat in the chair already waiting for her. Nobody is allowed to sit in this one, except for her. Not even Derek has ever put his butt on this one, knowing the sacredness of it.

Without sparing anyone another glance, (Y/N) gets the needed stuff for that history project out and continues working on it. The team resorts to throwing a questiongly look to Spencer, who shrugs his shoulders with a look of despair. So everyone resumes their work without even daring to say a word.

The general silence is occasionally broken by an unnerved sigh leaving the teenager’s lips. “Is the conference room occupied?” She asks, her voice clearly showing how annoyed she is. Her father shakes his head. “No, not that I know of. Do you need help with your school work?” This is obviously the wrong thing to say. “Do I look like a baby? I don’t need anyone to help with that, I have been going to school for ten years now, I think I can handle this project as perfectly fine as I did since day one. It’s just your keyboard typing that will be the reason for my first grey hairs if I don’t get out of here soon.”

Quickly (Y/N) gathers her stuff and storms off into the conference room. Immediately the team crowds her father’s desk. “What happened?” “Who hurt her?” “Go, talk to her!”

“Guys, I don’t know what’s going on. I’m at the same loss as all of you. The only thing I know is that (Y/N) is under pressure, because it’s midterms. But judging by the way she reacted, I don’t want to go near her. It’s safer to try to defuse a bomb than talk to her in that mood. Last time I saw something similar, her favorite show was declared finished, got a revival and then didn’t get one and nobody mentioned it again. She was so mad, I think it took three years of her life.” A silence of uncertainty spreads through the room.

“What about we give her some room until she calms down?” JJ suggests, being unsure herself how to deal with a teenage girl. But the rest agrees and goes back to filling out their paperwork.

This continues for about 20 minutes, till a loud bang and a frustrated scream is heard followed by “DON’T THEY WANT TO GET IT OR ARE THEY JUST STUPID?!” Alerted by that, seven people (yes, even Dave and Aaron leave their offices, while Penelope was already in the bullpen) storm into the round table room only to see a more than outraged (Y/N).

“Sweetheart”, Spencer speaks to her in the gentlest voice they ever heard from him and slowly moves towards his daughter, “What’s going on?”

Her response is delayed by several deep breaths she has to take in order to be able to talk without seething. “ALL OF MY SO CALLED FRIENDS ARE ASKING ME FOR MY NOTES, like do I look like a personal tutor? And when I tell them that I got a life, a life outside of school and grades, because otherwise I go completely bananas, just like all of you say, they get mad. Now they act like I’m the most selfish person in the whole world. I’m so done, can’t they understand that they are old enough to take care of their own stuff? I’m not responsible for them, their grades or anything regarding their lives. Otherwise I would be the mother of at least four toddlers and one baby and at the age of sixteen I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility. I know friends are there for eachother, and I really don’t mind helping them from time to time. But what they are doing is terror. Terror.

“Oh and don’t get me started on their tormention if I get something lower than an A-. Then they suddenly transform into geniuses, like they suddenly know everything possible. Of course, I’m the dumb one. I should have studied more.

“I am under an insane amount of pressure, because I know they rely on me, but enough is enough. I tell them that if anyone asks me for anything school related again and they act like I owe them an answer, I’ll cut off all ties to all of them. What am I, a roboter just there for their needs, without some of my own?”

After her long rant, (Y/N) takes a couple more breaths. It’s pretty much the only sound right now, because the team is stunned. None of them heard her talking, no ranting, like that. Not even her Spencer has seen her like that.

Realizing what she just said, the teenager fidgets nervously with her hands. “I’m, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, you know, blow up like that. I, I really don’t know where this came from.” Nervously she scratches the back of her head. It really wasn’t her intention to let it out like that. Her plan was just to come home tonight and deal in the confinement of her own four walls with all of her feelings. It’s easier to be honest to yourself when you are alone than having an audience watching you losing it.

Suddenly (Y/N) finds herself engulfed in a massive bear hug. “Oh, my sweet sweet summerchild. You needed to rant to us and I’m so happy you did. Even though your uhm, friends, sound like big douchebags, we can help you sort something out”, Penelope tells her while keeping her arms around the teen.

“Just like lil mama said, we are here for you, Baby Reid. Don’t ever be afraid to tell us something, may it even be as small as you having stubbed your toe.” Morgan ruffles her hair and gives her a reassuring smile.

Just like them everybody shows her their support, be it encouraging words or affectionately gestures. Rossi invites her to a calm and quiet dinner at his mansion, cooking class included. Hotch assures her that she will get through this rough patch, with or without these fake people. JJ suggests (Y/N) comes over to her home and she can participate in a family game night at their home.

When it’s Emily’s turn, she makes sure to get her message loud and clear by looking the teen in the eyes (not as deep as it sounds, because some people make an intense stare really uncomfortable): “If those kids give you a hard time again, tell me. I’ll pay them a visit in classic protective godmother fashion, because nobody traits MY godchild like this. Just give me their names and I’ll handle the rest.” Obviously she doesn’t say this aloud in front of everyone, else Hotch will have her head, knowing she goes through with her threats. Instead she whispers it into the teen’s ear. Still, it makes (Y/N) smile, having such a strong support net.

Sensing the family’s need for time of their own to talk about the whole situation, the team leaves the room. Spencer gestures to her to take a seat after moving two chairs opposite each other. He wants her not to feel trapped.

“Do you still want to talk about it? It doesn’t have to be now, we can do it tonight, tomorrow, in a week or in a month. Just, please don’t shut me out. I know it’s difficult to be a teenager, especially in times like these. But it won’t do you any good keeping all of this for yourself. Today you took it out through anger. How will it look next time?

I don’t want to pressure you into talking. We don’t need to. We can find other coping mechanisms. We can try and reduce your stress. Anything. But we both know that this is not the right way.” While speaking, he takes his daughter’s hand, making her look up to him.

(Y/N) nods. Her eyes fill with tears. “I just can’t keep going like this.” She whispers, feeling all the stress, pressure and the intensity of the last few weeks crashing down on her. Quickly Spencer gathers her in his arms, letting her cry in his embrace.

After calming down, she looks up to her father with bloodshot eyes. “We can talk tonight. But I need you to do me a favor.” “Anything”, he assures her, stroking a hand along her back. “I, uhm, I need a new phone. I may or may not have thrown mine against the wall after getting a text from Tyler.”

Spencer looks at the crooked cell laying on the floor, the screen cracked. “I think we can get that sorted”, he tells her with a smile and gives her a kiss on the forehead.

The two of them leave the office earlier, having many things to talk about and many problems to solve. But with the help of her family (Y/N) gets through this, a time where people unfortunately only like her for her smarts and not being herself.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos @jswessie187 @kneelforloki

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner

[ncitygirls]

forgive - hyunjin x f reader

angst, fluff, smut, royal au, 4.1k

to die just as one graduates to motherhood is the tragic fate of countless women of your time. though there is no shame in falling victim to eve’s curse, one does feels a deserving sense of pride in their ability to look the devil in the eye and turn one’s cheek. to crawl through the forest of death and drag oneself towards the light. many are denied the privilege of survival. living is a sign from the heavens that perhaps there is a reason for such trials. that strife is a lesson in one’s journey, a meaning to life.

but to die before bearing your husband a son is a fate you would readily accept in place of the dark nothing you nearly surrendered to. the thought drifts into your mind the moment your greatest trial and grandest reward shifts in your arms, your daughter’s wails slowly rising in pitch and frequency as you smile loftily at her bundled form in your lap. she sings a song most would call unbearable. the screech so shrill, it pierces through even the most impenetrable guard. but never through you. you could continue to find peace in the deafening sound had it not been for your husband. your dear, sweet husband.

your king.

your king, whose presence thus far escaped you. that is until he asked, just a decibel louder than the wailing infant, “could you please settle her, sweet?”

“oh,” you glance at his rigid form, across your living quarters, to find his pretty scowl trained on his heir, only softening when his eyes meet the familiar orbs of his queen. “my apologies, hyunjin. is she distracting you?”

“no,” he breathes, allowing his head to fall back on the loveseat, his sculpted cheek puffs. “it’s just annoying.”

“it?” your eyes quickly return to him, only to be met by the back of his morning paper. “i do hope you are referring to the sound itself and not to your child, my love?”

“does it matter?” he sighs, realising moments too late that the room has stilled. “my dear, i did not mean to offend.’

“of course not, your highness,” ah, ‘your highness’. you call on the title in the times you wish to hurt him most. “she is but a child, of course you meant her no offense. i ask for your mercy, sire.”

“i sense hostility in you.”

“shall I call on a nurse for you, your grace?” he wonders for a second what the reason could be before you readily come to his aid. “it is most unlike you to use sense of any kind.”

“that was out of turn-”

“me? my king, you believe it is i who is out of turn?” hyunjin knows there is no answer to such a question. because yes would present grounds for annulment and no would mean he is wrong. and kings cannot be found in the wrong. “not the new father who refers to his daughter as ‘it’? of course it is not he who is speaking out of turn, not when he is a king.

“when he is a man.”

“ah, ‘men are the source of all the world’s ailments’, must we hear excerpts from your manifesto again, my love? it is only noon,” he assumes you hear only humour in his tone and decides to take it a step further. “is it in your plans to fill the house of hwang with women just to spite me?”

“oh,” you breathe, smiling softly as he watches, “is it a son you desire, hyunjin? is that what you want?” his eyes squint as he watches his love rise to place his only heir in the cot before you glide over to him, sweetness vanishing from your eyes as you succumb to your wrath. “you want a son, king hyunjin? then give me one.”

“leave us.” the servants standing by flee the room, quick to abandon a maid who halts as hyunjin blocks her path. “take the child.”

she takes a hurried step towards your child before she is stopped once more. “take my child and i will take your hand.” the poor girl is quick to abandon her king’s direct order before fleeing the scene, closing the door as she departs.

a biting silence takes the place of the bodies that once filled the chamber, thickening every corner of the room. minutes pass before hyunjin realises you have no further interest in him. “if it were not for the fact my heart beats for you, my beloved, i too would take my leave.”

“your heart? is that what beats in your chest, hyunjin? a heart?” he scoffs, unbothered by the deflection masked by your jab. “kings are meant to rule, not jest. do not humour me.”

“was your tea cup mistaken for a bedpan?”

“i almost died, jinnie!” he withers as you tremble, your eyes misting as you try to find someone resembling your beloved in the man sat across from you. “i almost lost my life bearing you the heir you prayed for, only for you to treat her with the same regard one does a child born in illegitimacy.” he wishes to deny it, and you see it too. but your eyes are alight and hyunjin swears he sees his end in them. “she is your child, hyunjin. and should she be your only, she will wear your crown with pride and rule as well as any boy ever could.”

“i know that.” your scoff stung like a strike to the cheek and winds him like a blow to the gut. “i do. y/n, i swear it to you.”

“then perhaps you should act like it.” he finally sees what fuels your rage and rests behind your eyes: disappointment. “you cannot love me and not my kin, jin. i won’t allow it.”

“my love,” he reaches for you but you repel, moving instead to the babbling baby. “you mistake my desire for a son as a lack of joy for my daughter.” pulling your hands from the sides of the cot, he dwarfs them with his own. “i love her with everything i have in me. i swear.”

“had my father received me as you did our child, i would not believe that to be the case.”

“forgive me, my love.” you’re quick to cast your gaze elsewhere, ignoring his puppy eyed plea. “i will pray the heavens take mercy on me, but i need you to first. please believe me when i say i love her. i do. she is half of the greatest woman to ever walk this kingdom, i worship her.”

“then why? why the cold shoulder? why treat her this way?” he suddenly finds himself unable to answer, opting instead to rock the baby, basking in her glow. with a soft sigh, you raise a hand to his cheek, offering him reprieve as he burrows into your palm. “what troubles you?”

“nothing, my love.” your disbelieving gaze sends his shoulders south, his whole frame sagging. “it’s just my dealings with the courts.” of course. the courts. “i spent every night bowed in ceaseless prayer. i prayed for your health, for your life, for our child. i prayed until bruises formed on my knees, my love. and still i prayed. but as i prayed for my family, they prayed only for my successor, for a boy.” though you find it impossible, he manages to lower himself further. folding himself into you, almost in two, hiding his long face from view. “once I caught wind of their talks with the lord, i condemned it. i condemned any prayer against my wishes but the court can do as they please in their solitude and i know we do not rule on fear but after her birth, for the first time in my life? i wished we did.” it was inexplicable, the difficulty you had beholding an enraged hyunjin, the skin curving around his knuckles and jaw as they tightened with every word he uttered, your heart tightening in kind. “i wanted to make heads roll, to end them for the disregard they paid my child, my family, my wife.” it starts to make sense now, his grinding teeth and red rimmed eyes. his late and sleepless nights. the nights hypnos granted him even a slither of reprieve were spent clinging to you, a cold sweat soaking the sheets, puzzling you beyond belief. it all makes sense. “the courts have filled me with doubt. they warned of foreign enemies who would hear of our heir, of our girl. that they would see her as a sign we are weak, that we are lesser.”

“but how can they speak in such a way? we are ahead of such things.”

“my love, you must see past the likes of lord kim and baron han. the rest of the men in my court are old, and stuck in old ways. our nation has not seen a queen on the throne since the likes of my widowed great, great grandmother.” his hands cup your face, bleary eyes blinking back the tears his heavy words summoned. “i love you, y/n. and i love her. all i want is for you both to be safe. but i live in constant fear that i cannot keep you safe with enemies outside our walls and evidently within.”

“hyunjin, my love,” he settles at the soft spoken call of his name, the loving address soothing his forlorn heart. “i will burn the court to the ground before they bring harm to my kin. or to you.” it is not unlike you to let your anger consume you. in fact, it is but a facet of what made him fall in love with you. what continues to bother him is the fact he was not the first to make such a bold promise. “my love?”

“fret not, my queen,” his nimble hands gather his daughter from her cot, his lips pulling in a soft grin as the child gargles, reaching up for him. “it is just, with my brains and your ferocity, i believe this hwang might be the greatest queen- no, ruler levanter has ever seen.”

“forgive me, my love,” the apology fills the space to his left, from where your temple rests on his shoulder, fingers toying with his undershirt. “but you do not suggest that this girl will be inheriting her brains from her father-”

“watch your mouth.”

“watch it for me.”

“careful,” he warns, dropping his lips to yours for a brief peck before withdrawing but an inch, “i might just give you that son you asked for.”

“careful, or i might just let you.” your rebuttal has him fanning your lips with a breathless chortle, urging you to rise to the tips of your toes and connect your lips to his once more. when you withdraw, he follows, resting his forehead on yours, smiling softly as your eyes meet. your voice is barely a whisper as you enquire, “what do we do now, my love?”

“now, i will handle the courts,” huffing, hyunjin places a kiss to the crown of his daughter’s head, smiling as he does. “i am afraid you will just have to handle everything else.” the regret in his words do not match the smirk on his lips, though he confesses, “i do not envy you, my love.” placing the baby in the cot once more, he pulls you into his chest, resting his cheek at the uppermost point on your head. “but i will keep you both safe. i put my life on it-”

“sire,” you warn, leaning up to kiss his neck. “your life is no longer yours to wager.”

“is that so?” hyunjin only grins at your assured affirmation. “my queen, is there anything that is mine in this kingdom?”

“me.” even after all these years, hyunjin is undone by you. from your matter of fact utterance, a breathless admission of submission to your glowy eyed gaze, eyes shining with pure adoration. “i belong to you.”

“you do?” he sighs when you nod, the small bounce of your head forcing his own head up and down. his eyes and hands slowly trail down your arms stilling at your fingers. slipping his digits between yours, he raises them to his pouted lips, slowly pressing each one with a kiss so soft and so sweet, you nearly jump as he speaks. “and these? do these belong to me?”

“yes, sire.”

“good,” he breathes, joy flashing behind his eyes. “and what about this?” he whispers against your lips, his plump lips tangling with your own. only after playing with your tongue, sucking on the muscle and swallowing your whines does he ask, “is this smart mouth of yours mine?”

“all yours.”

he nods in agreement, fingers gliding down the side of your neck, dusting over your chemise to cup you over your stay. only to find you bare. “were you that hastened to join me for tea?”

“no,” you laugh, hitting his chest as he pulls you closer, enjoying feeling your near bare chest on his. “i breastfeed.” you love your king. for as slow as he is, he is twice as loving. you watch realisation dawn on him not once but twice, a slight pout stealing his lips, exaggerated by their natural downturn. “what is it?”

“i just,” he stops, laughing to himself. “i just realised these-” he cups your tender breasts, thumb barely dusting the sore nubs. “-they’re no longer mine.”

“hyunjin!” his laughter picks up before it stills, the sleeping princess nearly awoken by the delight of her parents. “no, they’re on loan.”

“that’s fine.” he sighs, ducking his head to kiss the center of your chest. “i’ll wait.”

“i’m proud of you.”

“thank you,” your pride does not last long, as he lowers his hands to cup your ass and pull you flush against him. through your chemise and slip, you feel him. all of him. he deftly slips his tongue between your gasping lips, filling your mouth in ways that force your panties to dampen, the fabric soaking with every roll of his hardening cock to your aching slit. “but this is mine,” he reminds you, leaving no room for misunderstanding. “do you understand?”

“y-yes.”

“yes, who?”

“yes, your grace.”

“good. now, go get a nurse for the princess.” the king proclaims, emphasising his point with a firm slap to your ass as you almost sprint out of the room. as you return with the nanny, you feel your heart swell to almost double its size. you find hyunjin by your daughter’s basket, a soft lullaby floating in the air as he gathers her in his long, folded arms. you watch him pass her to the nanny, his fingers passing over her puffed up knuckle, in awe of her inherent daintiness. “sleep well, my dove.”

you fear he might have forgotten you as the two leave and he stares in quiet longing. you finally approach him as his sniffles begin. “hyunjin?”

“i have missed her.” he whines, wet eyes cast skyward, guilt staining his face. “i have been a terrible father-”

“no.” your scold has his gaze falling, his shining eyes searching your frowning face. “not terrible. never terrible. just a little distant.” you soften as he nods, understanding pouring into him as you craddle his face in your palms. “you know now.”

“yeah,” he agrees, leaning to press a wet kiss to your lips. “please forgive me, my love.”

“there’s nothing to forgive.” you hum against his pouting lips, moulding your mouth with his as you try and tear him from this spell of despair. “come sit,” you whisper, guiding him towards his original seat.

when he lowers into it and feels you lower in kind, though to the ground, he frowns deeply. “i-” he stalls as you palm him through his slack breeches, fingers gripping him through the fabric. he grinds up into your closing fist, eyes squeezing shut as you momentarily silence him. the peace is short lived as he moans, realising what you’ve done to him. “i wanted to pleasure you.”

“and you will,” you quickly assure him, smirking when his frown deepens. “once i pleasure you.”

“fine.” he concedes, crossing his arms as you unfasten his breeches. you glare at him through your lashes until he huffs, stiffly raising his hips to allow you room to lower his garments down his thighs. “is there anything else i can do for you, mrs hwang?”

“that is all.” you chortle, fanning the reddened, leaking head of his cock. the sound forces a smile on his face until your tongue glides against his glistening slit. he almost chokes when you gaze up at him suddenly, eyes full of too much love for one king to fathom. “you just relax, okay?”

he can barely make himself nod as he fills your sight with his lovesick smile. “i don’t deserve you.”

“i know.” you rise to your knees to swallow his retraction, enjoying the lurid way he melts under the touch of your lips and palm. you offer languid strokes up and down his length, thumbing at his slit as he practically dribbles down himself. “jinnie, you’re making a mess.”

“‘m sorry.” the whine isn’t worrisome, but rather his second admission of guilt. with a gentle shake of your head, you raise your unsoiled hand to his lips, smearing your mingled saliva across his chin.

“i like you messy,” you admit, watching his eyes glaze over at your confession. “you’re always so proper now. you were never like that.” you squeeze him tighter at his base as you speak, dragging up the length of his cock, forcing a mewl from his throat as he releases his bitten, spit slicked lip. “remember when you were still a prince, and i just a lady?” he nods dumbly, head rolled to the side as drool pools on the corner of his mouth. “you used to fuck me in the greenhouse as it rained on a starry night. and behind the guards’ stables. even in the old maid’s quarters-”

“tha-that’s because we couldn’t anywhere else.”

“true,” you tut, wiping his chin as he fucks up into your closed fist. “yet now the kingdom is yours, you only ever fuck me in the castle.”

“but i always fuck you well.” when you just smile his hips falter, brows knitting as you massage his tensed thigh. “say it.”

“say what?”

“that i always fuck you well.”

“you do fuck me well,” you knowingly half agree, pumping him in your tight fist before he grabs your wrist. only a few seconds pass but the small fire ignited by your defiance burns for an eternity. the warm embers blazed to a full village fire when you squeeze at his base, moving to restart your ministrations. hyunjin only scoffs, clicking his tongue with a soft shake of his head. “a king’s ego should not be so dependent on his queen-”

before you can finish, his fingers cling to the base of your neck, squeezing in a way that traps the words in your throat. he feels you swallow, his dark eyes watching how you struggle to breathe. it’s dizzying. the way he eyes you, flitting between your expanding chest and gasping mouth. he presses the back of his hand to your chin, tilting your lips toward his mouth as he leans in. “it seems my ego rests on the mocking words of my smart mouthed wife,” he whispers into your open mouth, sucking softly on your bottom lip. “so, my queen, mightn’t you humour me? tell me that which i desire to hear.”

“you-” he senses an unfitting retort on your tongue and tightens his grip, marvelling at the delicious way your eyes roll back. he only loosens when theu water, gleaming in pitiful surrender. “you always fuck me well.”

“like i will now.”

“li-like you will now.”

“good,” he grins, proud of your slow but gratifying progress. helping you stand, hyunjin gathers the hem of your chemise in his fists, hiking it up to your waist before placing the fabric in your waiting hands. he feels for your undergarments, fingers gliding along the soft skin of your belly, purposely missing the waistband of your panties. he watches your breathing change with every long second he teases you, missing your sex in obvious ways. when you whine he only tuts, watching a frown kiss your features. “it’s not nice to be kept waiting, is it?”

“no,” you mumble, jutting out a full blown pout. “please touch me, hyunjin.” you too can sense your lover’s utterances before they are ever fully realised. like now, when he smirks, knuckles dusting over your throbbing heat. “properly.”

your emphasis has him chortling, the sound delighting you in ways you cannot explain. how long had it been since you had him like this? warm and open, delighted by the trivialities of foreplay. excited by your pending coitus. it brings a sudden joy to your heart, and, to your husband at least, an inexplicable grin to your bitten lips.

“what tickles you, my love?”

“i just missed you.” you confess, not too dissimilar to his earlier realisation. “i want you happy always.”

“oh,” he breathes, finally pinching your panties and sliding them down past your ankles. “one can feel nothing but joy when you are near.”

“is that so?” you hum as he pulls you to his lap, his thumb dipping into your soaking cunt before slow dragging it along your swollen clit.

“it is so,” he affirms, offering soft pecks to the taut skin of your neck. “it’s why i married you.”

“really- oh,” words stick in your throat as he dips a lone finger in you, his thumb still circling as he presses against your walls. your lips find his in your daze, somehow still embarrassed by the awe with which he regards you. your hips roll against his cramped hand, chasing the beginnings of a tightening coil in the base of your belly. “you’re still infatuated with me?”

“always.” he removes himself without leaving your lips, swallowing your taunt as he guides you onto his awaiting cock. time stills for a moment as you adjust, brain whirring as you both realise the time that has passed since you had him like this. your throbbing walls clamped around his pulsing cock. the subtle tremor of his thighs as you sink onto him, buttocks resting in his waiting palms. he offers a gentle squeeze, one of comfort and question. “can you move?” you nod against his skin, damp forehead pressed to his as he guides your motions with gentle tilts of his wrists. his tongue slips into your mouth, readily lapping at your own as you wrap your arms around his neck. his hands rise to your hips in time, guiding you with a firmer grip, enjoying the slow rock of your hips on his aching cock. he feels you squeeze around him as he sucks on your tongue, his thighs shaking with a looming orgasm. he pulls you in closer, lifting you inches in the air before leaving your slippery lips. before you can even think to protest, hyunjin snaps up into you at a steady pace, enjoying the mewls he conjures from you.

“jinnie, i’m- i-”

“it’s okay,” he groans, on his own verge of release. “it’s okay, my love. let go.”

and you do. moments later you let go, loudly soiling his lap and favourite loveseat as he fucks into your soaking cunt. seconds later he follows you, head thrown back as he releases in you, fearful of nothing but the stained upholstery as he thanks the lord above that you are his wife.

“you owe me a new chair.” he says suddenly, still panting as you pepper soft kiss along his shoulder blade. “and new breeches.”

“it is you who is to blame, sire.” he watches with a raised brow as you rest on his knees. “you always fuck me so well, how could i help myself?”

“ah, right.” he folds when you laugh, the sound forcing his hands upward, along with the corners of his lips. “forgive me, my love.”

“i love you.” you whisper instead, settling against his chest as you both ignore the compromising position you’re in. “so much.”

“and i you,” he swears. “always.”

[bnhabadass]

So excited to be sharing my piece for this months bnharem collab!!! The theme for this is, you guessed it, sex worker!au. I am so honored to be writing along with everyone else who put so much time and energy into writing these pieces. Please please please check out their collab pieces here. Everyone has put so much work into these so give them a read through and some warm and fuzzy notes 😊💕✨

Pairing: Touya Todoroki x Reader Genre: NSFW Warnings: Coercion, Dubcon, Anal fingering, Hardcore sex, Deepthroating, Dabi is a Todoroki Word Count: 6,166 Synopsis: Rich ceo Enji Todoroki gives you the offer of a lifetime on one condition. You have to sleep with his eldest son.

Working at a strip club was the last thing you pictured yourself doing after you graduated high school. After graduating and moving into a cheap apartment on the outskirts of town, you decided to start working immediately to support yourself. At first, you first got a job working at a cute little Italian restaurant that paid quite well. Waiting tables helped pay the bills and save up for college a little, but after two years of working at the same restaurant, it unfortunately went out of business.

That was one of your worst months, constantly looking for new work and facing rejection after rejection to the point that you were plagued by the phrase, “not enough work experience.” By the time a month and a half went by of you scoping out newspapers and checking all of the job finder apps on your phone, you had gone through most of your savings.

One of your best friends, after realizing how bad your situation was, decided that it couldn't hurt to see if you wanted a position at the joint she ran.

You were very skeptical at first, since she happened to run an insanely popular erotic dance club (aka, a strip club) in town, but she assured you that you wouldn’t be stripping, just bartending and dishwashing. As soon as she explained everything, you immediately took her up on the offer and decided from then on you would owe Mina Ashido your life.

You were able to pick things up easily, make conversation with customers and become friends with many of the dancers who worked at the club. The only downside to working the job was, well, you’re cute. And that meant you got a lot of unwanted attention from guys who initially came for the strippers.

Mina assured you that if you ever needed to take a step away, that that was perfectly fine. But the attention you got wasn’t so bad, you thought. At least there was a bar counter separating you from the wandering hands and predatory words of these people.

Bartending, while it was enough to pay the bills and save up for some nicer furniture, did not pay as much as you would have liked it to. While you wouldn’t have dreamed of asking your friend for a raise, you still felt somewhat resentful watching the dancers at the club walk home with stacks of cash from tips meanwhile you had to wait every two weeks to get your next paycheck.

You were astonished when, on your twenty-first birthday, Mina offered you a job as a dancer. “A lot of our regular customers have been asking about that ‘cute bartender,’” she said. “And I think you would actually really enjoy it. Plus, it pays a lot more.” She ended that last bit in a sing-song voice, as if that in and of itself would be enough to convince you.

You were tempted to say no, you really were, but you’ve seen how much fun the dancers have and how much money they walk away with every night. You knew next to nothing about stripping or pole dancing, but Mina assured you that she’d teach you and that you’d pick it up fast.

And she wasn’t wrong. After a month of her teaching you how to sway your hips and gyrate your body, dip down and caress every exposed inch of skin with your supple fingers, you were ready to hit the audience with everything you had.

You didn’t realize how much fun you would have as a pole dancer. It was a great form of exercise and you kind of liked having lots of people cheering for you to show off your sexy moves. Plus, walking home with a stack of cash each night was one of the greatest perks it came with.

There was only one rule that you had, which you made abundantly clear to Mina. All you would be doing was pole dancing. No lap dances, no touching the audience, and for the love of god, no sleeping with the audience.

And she respected your wishes, even going as far as asking some customers to leave who have tried to touch you without your consent. She keeps a hawk eye over you and every audience member and their wandering hands. You’re nothing but grateful for everything she has done for you.

After the first few months of pole dancing and wearing revealing costumes, you moved into a new apartment and bought nicer furniture. Things were definitely starting to turn around for the better.

“Hey,” you greeted your fellow coworkers as you made your way into the locker room. The club was about to close up for the night and you were more than ready to flop onto your bed at home and sleep until your next shift. “Have any of you seen Mina?”

The other girls looked around at one another. No one seemed to have an answer for her whereabouts.

“Oh!” Nejire popped up. “I think I saw her talking to some guy in her office. Yeah, yeah. Some big guy wearing a business suit.”

Tsu frowned. “I wonder what that could be about.”

You nodded, a sudden feeling of anxiety washing over you. You really hoped she wasn’t being bought out or something. If she wasn’t the one running the club anymore, or worse, if the club was demolished, you would be surely out of a job.

A knock on the locker room door made you swallow your thoughts. “Is (Y/n) in here?” Mina’s voice rang through the room.

“I’m here,” you piped.

She looked scared, and a bit pale. You don’t think you’ve ever seen her look fearful before, even when dealing with rough customers who refuse to leave the building. “Could you come with me for a sec?”

“Sure.” The anxiety you were feeling was bubbling back in your stomach. “Just let me get dressed.”

“Actually,” her voice was shaking. “If you could come here now that would be better.”

You paused, then nodded and followed her to her office. On the way there, she squeezed your hand, slipping something inside.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. ���Please, please forgive me for doing this.”

“Mina, what’s going on?” You were worried. Never in the time that you knew her had she ever been so apologetic.

At her office door, you looked at what she slipped into your hand. A small pink bottle of pepper spray stared back at you. What could she have done that you would need this?

She opened her office door and on the other side, like Nejire said there would be, was a big, beefy businessman clad in a suit that was probably worth more than your rent.

“Mina,” you whispered to your best friend. “What is going on?”

The man turned around and you shrunk at his intimidating appearance. You felt the need to cross your arms and cover up your exposed skin of which there was a lot of. “Hello,” the man bellowed with such a low timber. “You must be (Y/n).”

How did he know your name? What did Mina tell him? Who is this man?

You meekly nodded your head and clutched onto the pepper spray until your knuckles couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Forgive me for not introducing myself first.” He extended a hand. “My name is Enji Todoroki and I am the ceo of Todoroki Enterprises.”

You gulped. What the hell did Mina get herself into? You croaked out an “oh” before extending your hand and shaking his. “That’s nice.” You didn’t really know what to say. Was he considering buying the building from Mina? You looked at her and she shrunk back at your gaze.

“Ashido,” he said with a stern demeanor. “If you would please.”

She nodded and squeezed your shoulder one last time. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered in your ear one last time before leaving the room.

And then there was silence. You took a moment to breathe and look around Mina’s office, find something to calm your nerves with. Her office was usually like a little safe haven for you and the other dancers. She deemed a corner of the room the “zen area” where she set up cushions and a kettle and tea boxes. You stared at the fuzzy pink cushion you were so used to sitting on. You were sure your butt had made an imprint.

“Please, take a seat,” Enji Todoroki said, gesturing to the other side of Mina’s desk, away from the cushion that brought you so much comfort.

You frowned at his tone of voice, as if he had been there many times before and as if he owned the damn office himself. At least there was a nice fuzzy blanket on that side of the desk which you could use to cover yourself.

“I can tell that my presence is intimidating you,” he said. “But please, allow me to make my offer before jumping to any conclusions.”

Why was he making an offer to you? What did he want from you?

“As I am sure you are aware, Todoroki Enterprises is a million dollar company run by me and my other associates.”

You nodded. You were not aware of that but you were afraid of what would happen if you asked too many questions.

“And once I retire, the company will fall on the shoulders of my eldest son, Touya.” Enji Todoroki sighed and rubbed his eyes and the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “At the moment, he is being rather difficult.”

You nodded. You weren’t sure what was going on, why he was telling you this, but hearing about this rich ceo’s family drama did spark a bit of interest in you.

“He is not doing what I ask of him. He spends all day sleeping in and wasting my money and he refuses to take any part in working for the company.”

That sounded like typical teenage behavior to you. You weren’t sure why this man was being so pessimistic about it, or why he was even telling you in the first place. Surely it’s just a phase he would grow out of. “I’m sorry,” you started, feeling incredibly out of place with the conversation. “I’m not really sure why you’re telling me this information.”

Enji Todoroki let out another sigh. It wasn’t so much that he was fed up with your inability to understand, but really he seemed reluctant to be there talking to you in the first place. “I believe that if he were to have some, well, motivation, he may actually perform his tasks as a part of the company and as future head.”

“Motivation?” What on earth did he mean by that?

“I watched you and your co-workers perform tonight, and from watching your movements paired with his type, you seem like you would be best suited for the job.”

Your face flushed. He couldn’t be suggesting that, could he?

“(L/n), I would like to hire you to have intercourse with my son.”

Your eyes widened. He wanted what? There was no way, no way you could do that. “I’m sorry,” you said with staggered breath. “I don’t think I’m comfortable having sex with a teenager.” You smiled and nodded, thinking that would be the end of it.

“A teenager? My son is twenty-six years old.”

You paused for a moment before letting out an incredibly articulate, “uhhhhh, what?”

“My son is a fully grown adult, older than you in fact. So if your concerns lie within the legality of this exchange I can assure you that he is not a minor.” Enji Todoroki’s booming voice had just shattered your resolve.

Still, he couldn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to. All you had to do was tell him no and it would have been fine.

But you didn’t get a chance to. Before you could even think of what to say next, Enji Todoroki spoke up yet again. “I presume you are wondering what kind of compensation you will be receiving in return.”

You stayed silent.

“Your boss tells me that you are saving up to attend university and intend on furthering your education. I can only admire that kind of work ethic.”

Why? What could he possibly do with that information to make his offer worthwhile? It dawned on you then that that is why Mina was acting so weird, apologizing constantly as she led you to her office. She must not have been able to find a way out of this for you. Either that or the deal was too good to speak on your behalf of. But what could it even be?

“If you are willing to spend a night with my son and get him to take more responsibility in the company, Todoroki Enterprises will pay for your full college tuition at any institution you decide to attend.”

Your jaw fell onto the floor. This had to be a prank, right? Was he seriously offering to pay your full tuition for you?

“So, do we have a deal?” Enji Todoroki leaned forward against the desk and folded his hands together, large hands that could probably hurt you if you decided to say no.

“This is...” you trailed off. You didn’t know what to say or how to respond to an offer like that. He must be pretty desperate for his son to work in order to pay for your tuition in full.

His son.

Oh.

If you took up this offer, then you would have to… “What if I say no?” you asked.

He cleared his throat. “While I would tell you that saying no to this offer would not be in your best interest,” he started. “I cannot force you to say yes or do anything you are uncomfortable with.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. This was an impossible decision. You didn’t know his son, what he looked like or if he would even want to have sex with you. “It would only be for one night, right?”

Enji Todoroki nodded and let out a sort of grunt out of confirmation.

The thought of being with someone you didn’t know was scary. But at the same time, you would never get an opportunity like this again. Taking a deep breath in and keeping your dream school in mind, you nodded. “I’ll do it.”

“You made the right choice.” He stood up and you followed suit, assuming he’d have you shake his hand and schedule a time and place. “If you’d follow me, the car is waiting out front.”

“Wait, you mean right now?” No, you needed more time to prepare, to figure things out and to take it all in.

“Unless you have something important to attend to, which I doubt you do since you just finished your shift at work, then yes right now.” His eyes, which you hadn’t realized were such a remarkable shade of blue, bore deep into you. “I don’t like to be kept waiting, and neither does my son.”

“Right,” you flinched. “Um, if I could just grab my stuff and get dressed–”

“There will be no need. I already asked your boss to gather your things. We will provide a covering for you so there is no need to get dressed.” The authoritative tone to his voice made you feel so small, like there would be no way for you to even say no against his gaze. “Now if you’ll please follow me.”

You nodded and followed him out of the office and past the locker room where Mina and the other girls watched as you walked away. You barely had any time to watch them or wish them a good night before Enji Todoroki’s bellowing voice spoke up again.

“Our car is waiting out front. In the meantime, you can cover yourself with this.”

Another stranger, someone you presume works for Todoroki Enterprises, handed you a long, tan trench coat. You swiftly threw it over your shoulders and fastened the tie tight against your stomach. He also presented the boots that you wore to work that morning. Mina must have given them your things.

“If you’ll follow me this way,” the stranger said.

He led you outside where you could see the sun begin to poke its way up from beyond the horizon. You hadn’t realized how early in the morning it was. Would Enji Todoroki’s son even be awake at this point?

You were ushered into the backseat of a sleek black Tesla. You had never been in a car that nice before. It made the whole ordeal more harrowing and unreal. “Is Todoroki-san not coming with us?” you asked.

“He’ll be in the car right in front of us. Don’t worry, ma’am.” You usher closed the door and entered the driver’s side of the vehicle. He was a smooth driver, which helped with the nervous bubbles in your stomach that refused to calm down.

Free college, you had to remind yourself. This really was an incredible offer. You hadn’t even let it sink in until you were alone in the backseat of the Tesla, only accompanied by your usher and the light classical music that played on the radio. You would be able to go to any school you wanted to, free of charge. You couldn’t help the giddy smile that played its way onto your lips. This felt like a dream you were scared to wake up from.

“We’re here,” your usher said. Looking out your window, you saw that he had pulled up in front of a tall building reaching more stories than you could count. He opened the door for you and you stepped out into the cool, early morning breeze.

Enji Todoroki had also stepped out of his vehicle and gestured for you to follow him. The wind tickled your legs and you hugged the trench coat tight against your figure. He led you into the lavish building where one of the receptionists handed you a small paper cup of coffee. You were then brought to the elevators where you, Enji Todoroki, and your usher brought you up to one of the tops floors.

The elevator ride felt like it lasted forever. Your hands gripped the coffee cup and shaky lips sipped the beverage as Enji Todoroki talked your ear off. You knew that the receptionist gave you the drink because she figured you would be tired, but you were sure that your nerves would keep you awake regardless of the caffeine.

“I called my son in for an early meeting so he should be here.”

You nodded at the man’s words. This was really happening.

“And if he refuses to show up then we will provide a room for your lodging until he arrives.”

So you would be camping out here until the deed was done. A thought popped into your head, one that hadn’t even come to mind when you were given the offer. “What if he doesn’t want to have sex with me?” you asked.

Enji Todoroki paused. He didn’t really know what to say. “Knowing my son, he will.” As if that was supposed to give you any reassurance. “But on the off chance that he doesn’t, we will still compensate you for your time here.”

But no free college. The thought lingered in your mind. Of course you were doing this for the perks. You wanted to be able to make the most out of your young adulthood and part of that meant furthering your education. But you were still scared shitless by the bright fluorescent lights of the building as the grand elevator doors opened up on your destination.

“Wait outside the door,” Enji Todoroki directed at your usher, and you assumed you were supposed to wait with him. He led you through the halls and stopped at a door that's placard read “Touya Todoroki.”

You leaned against the wall and downed the rest of your coffee.

“I can take your empty cup for you, ma’am,” your usher said with a bright smile.

You smiled back and shaky hands dropped the empty paper cup in his own. You needed to stop shaking so much, but you didn’t think you could if you tried.

You could hear Enji Todoroki’s authoritative voice from outside the door and another one, you presumed him son. He sounded bratty, from what you picked up on their conversation. The more you picked up on it, the more nauseous you felt. “Is there a–”

“Bathroom?” your usher finished for you. “Right around the corner. But I would make it quick.”

At least he had a friendly smile that put you at ease. If this person you were supposed to sleep with was anything like him then maybe you wouldn’t mind it, but you had a feeling that was not going to be the case.

You stumbled into the bathroom and untied the trenchcoat, letting it fall to your ankles. You pulled your panties down and sat on the toilet, relieving your bladder. Your legs trembled. Not even you placing your hands over your thighs could stop them. A chill ran up your spine. How long had you been in there? No, you just sat down. Not much time had passed. But you should get back quickly. Enji Todoroki and his son, Touya, would be waiting.

By the time you got back to your usher, they were still arguing in Touya’s room? Office? You weren’t sure whether or not it was a bed or a desk behind the closed door.

“You’re just in time,” your usher said. “Any minute now.”

He had probably been working for Todoroki Enterprises, Enji Todoroki specifically, for a long time, because as soon as he said that, his boss’s booming voice called for him.

“Yamamoto,” he said, “bring her in.”

Your usher, Yamamoto, opened the door to Touya’s office and you tentatively stepped in. The office was spacious. A cluttered desk sat center in the room. On the other side there was a small couch facing a flat screen TV, although you couldn’t see the screen from where you stood.

And then, there was Touya. A young man with dyed black hair and white roots springing up from the center of his head looked your way. He was quite attractive. He had a much more lean figure compared to his father. He wore a tight fitting black dress shirt that accentuated his muscles, but what really set him apart from anyone you had ever seen was his face. Beautiful teal eyes, much like his fathers, stared back at you. The piercings in his nose and over his lips reflected the light from overhead. He would have to be one of the most attractive men you’ve ever seen.

“What is this,” he asked. “Another marriage arrangement?”

“No,” Enji, you think you know him well enough by now to start referring to him by just his first name, sighed. “This is not a marriage arrangement. After all, you threw aside the last twelve options I’ve given you.” He seemed to mumble the last part. He cleared his throat and spoke again. “I have hired her to take care of any of your...needs, and in return I expect you to finally pick up your slack and take part in this company.”

Touya scoffed. “So what is she then? A hooker?”

You felt incredibly out of place, and you averted your eyes to the dark hardwood floors you were standing on. “I’m not a hooker,” you mumbled.

“What was that, sweetheart? I couldn’t really hear you.” Touya snickered as you flinched at the nickname.

“Touya, I expect you to treat her with dignity and respect while you two are enacting in your...activities.” Enji turned to Yamamoto and nodded. “With that settled, I will leave you two alone.”

He and Yamamoto walked out the door and left. That was it? He wasn’t going to assure your safety any more than that? You were left alone in a strange room with this man you didn’t know who you were supposed to fuck. And you were completely and utterly defenseless.

You wish you still had that pepper spray Mina handed you. You’re pretty sure you left it on her desk when you had your initial chat with Enji. If only you had thought ahead enough to remember to bring it with you.

“So what’s your name, doll?” Touya, who was now on the couch, asked. His cheek rested on his fist and a lazy expression was splayed across his face.

“(Y/n),” you said, turning to look at him.

“That your first name?”

You nodded.

He chuckled. “So, what did my old man pay you to do this for me? A hundred k? Two hundred?”

“Free college tuition.”

His eyes widened. “Wow. He must really want me to start taking part in this company.” Leaning back. He patted his lap. “Why don’t you come over and take a seat, sweetheart.”

You didn’t want to comply, but your legs moved on their own as they walked towards him. Your butt found its place sitting on his lap and you pretended not to notice his semi erect cock pushing into your cheeks.

“Aren’t you a little obedient one,” he teased. One of his hands rubbed down your exposed thigh and up your trench coat. He thumbed over the collar of the coat. “So are you gonna take this off for me, or do I have to be the one to take it off you?”

You shuddered and he chuckled at how nervous he made you. Touya emanated so much warmth but even under the trench coat you had never felt so cold.

“Lemme guess, this is your first time whoring yourself out?” He grinned like the fucking cheshire cat as you squeezed your eyes shut out of embarrassment. “Nothing to be ashamed of,” he said with a cocky grin. His thumbs trailed up to the tie on your coat and his fingers pulled it open. “And I gotta admit.” He pulled the sides of the coat off and let it fall off of your shoulders onto the couch. “My dad has got my type pegged down to the nail.”

You were now fully exposed to the man in front of you. Your black bra accentuated your bosom and if it weren’t for the end of the trench coat you were still sitting on, you would have been able to feel the rough material of Touya’s slacks rutting against your ass.

He leaned down to lick a long stripe against the skin peeking out of your bra. “Although I wouldn’t have pegged you as someone who is this compliant.” His hands traveled further up until his fingers were wrapped around your panties, tugging at the elastic keeping them up. He moved up to pepper kisses up your neck, and you let out a sharp gasp when he bit your ear lobe.

“Sorry,” you mumbled when he stopped to let out a laugh.

He moved you off his lap so you were sitting next to him. “You’re not used to this. I get it.”

And you let out a sigh of relief at hearing those words. He was less scary then you thought he’d be. His kisses were gentle up until he bit you and the way he stroked his fingers up and down your exposed skin was comforting in a way.

But just as soon as you began to relax, his eyes narrowed with an evil tint. His hand reached down to unbuckle his pants. “So let's start with you getting on your knees to suck at my cock, shall we?”

Your body was frozen. His demeanor changed in an instant. You didn’t know what to do.

“Come on, doll. I don’t like asking twice.” Now, his hand was making its way up and down his dick. It was bigger than any you had seen before, not that you had seen many to compare it to to begin with.

You stood up from the couch and made your way in front of him, bracing your hands on his thighs as you lowered yourself down.

“That’s it. Now why don’t you pick it up and give it a few good strokes.” He guided your hand towards his dick and stroked it with your soft palm. It took a few strokes before you managed to get a hold of the rhythm. “That’s it. Now why don’t you give the tip a little kiss, hmm?”

Give it a kiss? You didn’t know how to put your feelings in words. His dick was impressive in length and width. There was a series of piercings lining the underside and the thought of them inside of you made you squirm. You leaned your head down and gave the tip a kiss.

Touya smirked. “That’s a good girl. Now open your mouth, sweetheart.”

You parted your lips slightly only to have him grip your hair and shove your head down against his length. You gagged and tears sprung out of your reddening eyes as you tried to push up for your release.

“Come on, sweetheart. Don’t you want that free tuition? If you want it, you gotta earn it.”

Gripping onto his shaft with one free hand, you hollowed your cheeks and tightened the shape of your mouth.

As he hesitantly loosened his grip on the back of your head, you realized what kind of person he was. He liked to be in control at all times, he’s the kind of person to take what he wants, and you knew that the act of him giving you gentle kisses not even five minutes earlier was just a facade.

Running your tongue up his pierced dick wasn’t as horrid as you thought it would be. You almost smiled at the sharp inhale he took when you swirled your tongue around the tip and lowered yourself onto him fully, using one of your hands to grip his balls and the other to keep your balance against him.

Breathe through your nose, you had to remind yourself.

The soft grunts that Touya made and the way he squeezed your ass may have gone over your head. Especially when he snuck his fingers under your panties and began to prod at your little asshole with his middle finger.

It took you by surprise, and you almost clamped your teeth around his cock out of shock.

“Easy easy,” he said, lifting your head off of his member. He took a moment to stare at your ruined face. Drool and slobber spilled down your chin and your makeup, which had been slowly rubbing off throughout the night, was completely gone as your tears had dragged it across your cheeks. “Look at you, you fucking whore.”

He’s right. You were a whore, selling your body for free education. What was wrong with you? And what was wrong with him getting off on this?

You wanted to speak up, but he beat you to it. “Why don’t you bend over the couch, sweetheart. I’ll show you what guys like me do to little whores like you.”

You hated how you could feel a rush of pleasure between your thighs at his words. Nevertheless, you obediently made your way over to the arm of the couch as he stood up, and you leaned over it so your ass was in the air and stomach was pressed flat against the cushy material.

Touya ran his hands over the fabric of your panties before ripping them off, tearing them to shreds. “Don’t worry about it, doll. I’ll buy you a new pair.”

He fucking better. Lace briefs are expensive for how little skin they cover. But your thoughts on the prices of various pieces of lingerie were pushed out of your mind when you felt something wet prodding at your exposed cunny. His tongue pushed past your folds and lips sucked around your clit.

Your hips pushed into the side of the couch and he snickered at how much he was affecting you. He slipped his thumb into your hole and you squeezed around the digit. “You’re so tight. I’d have expected you to be a bit more worn out.” The pads of his fingered rubbed quick little circles into your clit as his tongue dragged up to flicker against your bumhole, which fluttered against his touch. “Never had anything up here before?”

You shook your head vigorously against the couch and squirmed around as he ate out your ass with the full intent to make you cum. His fingers picked up the pace and if you didn’t have the couch to support you, you were sure you’d collapse into a heap onto the floor. You were edging closer to your orgasm, so close, so damn close, and then he pulled away.

Touya removed his thumb from inside your hole and sucked it clean. He laughed as you mumbled something about being close to cumming, but you shut up when you heard him tossing his shirt aside and dragging his pants further down his thighs. “I gotta say, after every shitty thing my dad has done to me, I gotta thank him. This is the best present he’s ever gotten me after all.”

You didn’t have time to think about what he just said as he lined his dick up between your cheeks and slid it up and down, gathering up his saliva and bits of your vaginal juices. He wasn’t planning on shoving his whole dick up your ass, was he? You didn’t think you’d be able to take that without any lube, or at least without anything other than spit.

It was almost as if he was so in tune with your body that he could hear your thoughts. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I won’t stick anything too big up there for now.”

For now? What did that mean?

He lined up his tip with your entrance and carefully pushed his way in. He thought to himself that he’d always remember the way you cried out in pain and pleasure as he snapped his hips forward once the tip was snuggly in place.

The way his piercing rubbed against your insides caused your toes to curl. Chills ran up your back and Touya rubbed a large palm over your spine to ease some of the pain.

He was raw and merciless as he pushed your head down into the couch cushions and thrusted into you at an alarming rate. You barely had time to catch your breath as he pushed balls deep inside of you.

Touya inched one of his fingers inside your tight little back hole to the first knuckle, and curled the digit up and down as you squeezed around him. He continued to push further and further in until you let out a sob of pleasure and the pace of his thrusts quickened.

Your body felt so hot yet so cold as you were pushed back and forth against the couch. It wasn’t long before you felt your orgasm build up again, but this time Touya didn’t stop. He wormed his finger around and continued thrusting into you until he felt you squeeze against him and your fluids gush out around him.

You laid limp against the couch as he pulled his finger out of your back hole and gripped both of your hips, continuing to thrust at a hard and fast pace until he came inside of you.

There was a moment of eire silence between the two of you as he settled down and pulled his cock out. You could hear him shuffling over to the other end of the room and typing something on his phone. “Yamamoto should be up with a towel to clean you up soon.”

You let out a groan of acknowledgement and sat up. Your body was still shaky, but not with nerves. You felt as though you had been thoroughly recked.

Touya couldn’t help but laugh at how pathetic you looked. “Was it worth the free college, babe?” he chided.

“Yeah,” you smiled to yourself. “Yeah it was.”

His smirk grew wider and a more devious glint in his eyes appeared. “Good. Now next time, let’s see if we can get something a little bigger in that back hole of yours.”

Your smile dropped and you could feel any contents in your belly churning around. “Next time?”

“What,” his eyes lowered in amusement. “You didn’t think this was a one time thing, did you? If you want that free college then you gotta earn it, doll.” He made big strides over to where you sat on the couch and gripped your chin, making sure you were staring into his bright teal and devious eyes as he spoke. “That was the best fuck I’ve had in weeks. I’m not planning on throwing you away any time soon, sweetheart.”