#but i also worked at the most BORING center because fun was not allowed but i would let them check out the books at the library

[astramachina]

Why is that YA can get away with so much in comparison to Adult fiction?? Like, aside from "no graphic sex" (tho there's been some pretty spicy scenes in some I read during my youth), the only hard line that cannot be crossed is "protag can't be older than 18" (tho New Adult pushes that to 20/22, I believe). You can have the most fucked of body horror, the most gruesome deaths, and gratuitous amount of gore and it's all good for an age-range of 13 to 18. Some of these "extreme Adult horror" books wish they can be on this level.

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

why is namek like that

i had a namekian specbio post drafted but along the way i got distracted with the namekian sky, so im just jotting down a bit of my thoughts about how a namekian solar system and planet atmosphere might work. most projections arent particularly stable, its no surprise they had a severe ecological disaster. we know namek has liquid water, and is an earth-like enough temperature for bulma to be comfortable there, so everything else is kind of bending around that. this super cool article by sean raymond talks about how you might make a no-night planet work. luckily no other planets are ever specified to exist in namek's solar system (to my knowledge) which makes this a lot easier! generally more stars = less planets, so im imagining that namek is the only planet in its solar system.

this is raymond's three star system diagram! in this model though, the planet actually does experience night, but only once every 600 years. im satisfied with this, as we get the information about namek "always having at least one sun in the sky" from dende, who's 8 years old, and likely just hasn't experienced or heard about namek's night yet. there's a lot of fun worldbuilding potential here! supposedly grand elder is only around 500 years old, and given that within his lifetime there was a catastrophe great enough to nearly extinct their species, it's possible that no living namekians know that their planet has a night time. but if they have, it's probably some huge legendary event, and is probably associated with porunga in some way since that's the only time the vast majority of namekians will ever experience a dark sky (do namekians have religion? holidays? questions for later...)

so COOL a three star system works! (as long as you allow for these substantial aus, anything for eternal sunlight..) however due to dragon ball rules we're working with a canon year of only 130 days. this is kinda problematic for a habitable planet like namek. shorter orbital period = closer to the (main) sun. given that there are already two extra suns shining light on this definitely liquid water having planet, this seems like we might have to do some magical hand-waving, which makes me sad because i find that boring. but its at least fun to think about what the magical logic is instead of just saying "eh it works because magic", so i wanted to try that! since the dragon balls operate on their own magical logic they might have a skewed definition of what a "year" can be classified as (and a year is pretty cultural too, right?). also, why do the dragon balls take a year to be able to be used again at all? (aside from plot reasons) like... what are they doing? with the dragon balls on earth, it was kinda easy to presume that they were "recharging" or that the dragon himself needed some kind of "rest", and that this process just so happened to take an earth year. the translations i could find were kind of vague on this, so im taking advantage of that vagueness. being about 1 au from the sun in this model, namek's "year" as defined by how long it takes to orbit its central star is about the same as earths (a bit boring, sorry) ! and the time it takes the other two objects in its system to make a full rotation around their shared center far far exceeds that, so i kind of don't think theres any justification to define a namekian "year" as 130 days other than that being the time it takes for the dragon balls to recharge, which makes perfect sense to me culturally! i mean, given that there are three suns, surely the amount of time it takes for your planets magical wish granting dragon to start working again would be a much more meaningful unit of measurement than the time it takes your planet to complete and orbit around your smallest sun (oh god what are namekian seasons like. probably fucked. another question for later). also from my wikipedia skimming it looks like alpha centauri's planet (assuming its a planet) has a similar orbital period to earth's too. its nice to have some real-life justification 👍

theres more to say about that but im moving on from this part for now. i just wanted to provide justification for a namekian year being however long it needs to be in order for namek to have three suns and still have liquid water.

i wanna talk a bit about the planet itself. namely: why the fuck is the sky green??

almost any other sky color could have some non-poison gas explaination except green. DAMMIT!! but its fine we can make it work. (also the plants are blue. which is actually a lot less problematic but i'll talk abt that later) im referencing this artifexian video for my information here btw 👍he gives a few ways that a sky could appear green but we kinda have to rule out all of them here except for something green being physically suspended in the air, because there just isnt any light/atmosphere combination that makes the sky look green to human eyes. since krillin is a human whos just so super wicked strong he can also fly, id be fine hand-waving breathing a green gas or dust for him and gohan, but. bulma is on that planet too... breathing away... also there's pretty clearly grass on this planet and like, brown earth. so mars like dusty skies dont make a lotta sense either. so i guess artifexian's sky-algae idea will have to work ! as horrifying as the implications are .... either these guys are just straight up breathing in green stuff all the time, or the algae is somehow suspended too high up to be inhaled. (also sky-algae would explain why the planet looks almost gaseous from space)

luckily bulma doesnt seem to be having any problems breathing it that green stuff, but like pollen allergies its easy to imagine that someone would be. which is kinda fun to think about actually. someone having an allergic reaction to the namekian sky, validating bulma's concern about breathable atmosphere would be a lot of fun... BUT I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THAT FOR NOW !! i have other goals in mind. i just wanted to record this "namek's sky is green because theres guys in there" concept somewhere. also, three suns at various levels of rising at setting at all times, while not portrayed in the anime due to technical limitations, would almost CERTAINLY mean namek would have a really cool variety of sky colors! just all tinted green because of the sky algae. of course sky algae doesnt need to be green all the time, nor does it need to be in the sky (or alive) all the time. maybe the green skies are new post ecological disaster? very fun to imagine pre-guru namekian skies....

[elaho]

Stardew Valley MBTI x Enneagram: Abigail

Following my last post about the Stardew marriage candidates and their MBTI types, I've been learning more about Enneagram, how it pairs with MBTI, and how it changes some of the typical characteristics of each type.

The Enneagram and MBTI complement each other wonderfully, providing greater depth and understanding of how a person interacts with the world [Cognitive Functions] and their motivations why [Core Desire/Core Fear].

Here are my thoughts on Abigail's MBTI and Enneagram pairing.

Abigail - ENFP 7w8: “The Opportunist”

“ENFPs are the campaigners of the MBTI typology. They bring good vibes and excitement that’s hard to ignore. You’ll also agree that their happiness and charisma can be infectious. It’s not a surprise then that most ENFPs identify as type 7 in the enneagram of personality.

[ENFP 7w8s] enjoy a good adventure and good conversations. They can also easily be the life of the party when they are excited. However, having a type 8 as their wing makes things a bit interesting, [creating] a lot of changes in this type of ENFP.” - Personality Hunt

Abigails’s Core Desire: To be happy

The core desire of the ENFP 7w8 is to be happy. ENFPs need consistent intellectual stimulation and external engagement to be truly content.

Bringing their ideas to life is incredibly important to them, and the 7w8 tries to achieve this by reaching their goals and getting everything they desire.

“The birds were happily chirping today. They're too simple to understand the future. It's better to be like them, isn't it?”

“I always loved this place, long before you moved in. Now I can explore the farm whenever I want!”

“There's always something new happening on our farm... I love it.”

"The sounds of the night are louder out here. I'll never stop enjoying that."

“It's pretty cool that we have a cave on our property. It's something I always dreamed about.”

Abigail’s Core Fear: To be deprived

The core fear of the ENFP 7w8 is to be deprived. Because they lead with Extroverted Intuition [Ne] ENFPs get bored quickly and easily if they aren't given enough freedom and flexibility to explore new ideas and chase after their dreams [both old and new].

Because of their fear of deprivation, ENFP 7w8s do everything in their power to ensure they'll never be in that position.

“Hey, this is my favorite magazine! My Dad won't let me have a subscription, so I have to get it on the black market like this...”

"Don't tell anyone, but I snuck into the old community center last night... I think it's haunted!

"I heard you've been exploring the old mines. That sounds like fun! ...I'm working up the courage to go there myself...”

*sigh*... Can you believe my parents were ever young? They don't understand my perspective at all. I know, I know... they grew up in a different era, with different values. It still ticks me off sometimes, okay?”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

How Enneagram 7w8 changes typical ENFP behaviour:

New Strengths

1. More Direct

"ENFPs are feelers. This means that they use emotions as their first point of call. However, you get another vibe with ENFP 7w8s. While they retain their emotional intensity, they can now express these feelings directly and clearly. This can make the ENFP better public speakers." - Personality Hunt

Abigail isn't afraid to speak her mind or speak up when her values are threatened. Although she can come across as blunt in some instances, her emotional awareness allows her to temper her responses so that she still gets her point across without going overboard.

Examples:

“Hey. Sorry in advance if I say anything rude. I didn't get much sleep last night. What do you want?”

“I felt like making some soup for dinner. I hope it's not too disgusting.”

“I hope you'll still like me when I'm old and shriveled. It's going to happen some day!”

"Stop trying to make me feel guilty. I appreciate that you and Dad are helping me out, but expecting me to dress the way you want is ridiculous. I'm not a little girl anymore, Mom.”

2. More Likely to be Assertive [ENFP-A]

ENFP 7w8s are more likely to be Assertive [A] than Turbulent [T]. Because of their more direct nature, they can come across as opinionated or assertive. This can make them seem more determined and focused in the long term.

More information about the ENFP-A can be found here.

Examples:

"Ew, I hope I don't get a tan this summer."

"I used to think Pelican Town was kinda drab, but lately I'm starting to love some things about it."

“No matter how much we clean, the house keeps getting dirty again. I guess farms are kind of dirty.”

“Congratulations on the marriage. I guess this means Sebastian won't be moving to the city like he always talked about. That'll be nice. I'd be kind of sad if I never saw him again. We've always been good friends.”

3. More Disciplined

ENFPs aren't typically known for their discipline and following through on plans or projects.

Their Extroverted Intuition [Ne] constantly makes connections and seeks out new opportunities, and an idea that once had merit can no longer seem relevant or the best use of time, especially when more information and opportunities are made available later on.

Though ENFP 7w8s also struggle with procrastination and follow-through, this is reduced thanks to their 8 wing; however, the extent of their follow-through will depend on the strength of their wing.

Examples:

"I'm still mad that you beat me at the egg hunt last year. You'd better start practicing..."

"Feeling pretty good about the egg hunt, huh? Well, next year you won't be so lucky...

“Hey, the egg festival is tomorrow. I'm sorry, but I won't go easy on you because we're married! I plan on winning that egg hunt. Go ahead and try to beat me.”

"I guess you're wondering why I'm in the graveyard at this hour... Well, I'm here because it's the best place in town to find some privacy. And I'm all sweaty because I've been practicing my swordsmanship.”

4. More Ambitious

ENFPs are the adventurers and campaigners of the MBTI world. While they have big dreams, they don't crave financial success or riches. This is also true for ENFP 7w8s, but they realize that having money or power is one way to achieve the life they want. Thus, ENFP 7w8s tend to be much more ambitious when compared to typical ENFPs.

Abigail doesn't seem ambitious in the traditional financial sense, but her ambition is clear when it comes to making a name for herself: she wants to do something memorable with her life.

Examples:

“See? You understand why I'm out here, then. I've lived in the valley my whole life, but I've never really done anything memorable. I want to go on an adventure!”

5. ENTP Look-Alike

"ENFPs and ENTPs are cousin types. Thus, it’s only natural that they look alike. However, ENFP 7w8 will look a lot and behave like the ENTP to an extreme level.

They will be more rational, charismatic, and argumentative than your normal ENFP. Thus, a lot of ENFP 7w8 can easily misidentify themselves as ENTPs." - Personality Hunt

ENFPs and ENTPs have the same dominant and inferior functions: Extroverted Intuition [Ne] and Introverted Sensing [Si]. However, the main difference comes from their 'sandwiched' functions: ENFP ENTP

Extroverted Intuition [Ne] Extroverted Intuition [Ne] Introverted Feeling [Fi] Introverted Thinking [Ti] Extroverted Thinking [Te] Extroverted Feeling [Fe] Introverted Sensing [Si] Introverted Sensing [Si]

On the surface, Abigail may appear to be an ENTP. However, when considering the cognitive functions and their application between ENFPs and ENTPs, Abigail uses Fi much more readily to determine and defend her values and Te to implement her values in real life [ENFP], rather than use Ti to ensure her decisions are logically consistent and Fe for external feedback as to whether her logic is taking other people's values and opinions into consideration [ENTP].

For this reason, I believe there is strong evidence that Abigail is an ENFP 7w8 rather than an ENTP, though she does share qualities of both types.

Examples:

“Hey! I'm just debating what I should do today. I'm not used to having this much freedom!”

“Oh, that's right... I heard someone new was moving onto that old farm. It's kind of a shame, really. I always enjoyed exploring those overgrown fields by myself.”

“Disgusting... I love it!”

"Whoa... Where'd you find this? The workmanship is fascinating...It's a little too rusty to use, but I'll add it to my collection."

“Sebastian mentioned that he heard strange music while having dinner the other night...I didn't tell him it was us! It seemed better to keep it a mystery.”

“I may fight with my parents a lot, but I know they're just looking out for me. They're doing what they think is best. I dunno why I'm saying this to you. Don't tell anyone.”

6. More Focused and Determined

"Their wing beings a steely attitude to the ENFP. Thus, they will be more focused and determined. This might show in school, the workplace, or even at home.

ENFP 7w8s are go-getters and will achieve their goals or get close to doing so. You’ll see a clear difference between this ENFP and the stereotypical ENFP you have probably heard about." - Personality Hunt

Examples:

“*sigh*... so I've been playing 'Journey of the Prairie King' for hours and I can't even beat the first level...”

"Hey, I finally beat the first level of Journey Of The Prairie King! Watching you play helped a lot.”

“Maybe I'll boot up Journey Of The Prairie King today... one of these days I swear, I'll beat the whole game”

7. Less Impulsive

ENFPs aren't the best at considering long-term implications when jumping into something.

Their Extroverted Intuition [Ne] is great at taking advantage of opportunities in the here and now; however, their Introverted Sensing [Si] function is the weakest in their stack, meaning they aren't the best at examining past experiences to help navigate potential pitfalls in the future.

This can cause them a lot of trouble and lead to repeating avoidable outcomes that could have been prevented with some reflection. Depending on the strength of their wing, ENFP 7w8s will be slightly less impulsive and more considerate of the consequences when putting themselves in a position that may lead to the loss of power or control.

Examples:

“Whoa, that's a creepy looking book... I love it! *Flip* *flip* *flip*... Ooh... It's full of monsters...I'll have to study this before going into the caves... Thanks!”

“If I knew how to use a sword I would be exploring those caves by the mountain lake right now. It's probably nice and cool in there.”

New Weaknesses

1. They Have a Temper

"Type 8s are known for being confrontational. So, no matter how soft and emotional this personality type might seem, they have this in them.

Thus, ENFP 7w8s can have quite a temper. This might only be displayed when they are pushed to their wall or when their feelings have been hurt. It can be quite scary." - Personality Hunt

Examples:

“Hey, I heard you and Sam got together... He's a really good guy! We've been friends for a long time. You'd better be good to him, or you'll see my bad side!”

“Oh, it's because I'm a girl... isn't it? Ugh...Why? I'm just as strong as you! I'm not some fragile princess… I can take care of myself.”

"Mind your own business [Dad]! You think I should be at home cooking dinner because I'm a girl, don't you?!"

2. Manipulative

"This personality type will be more manipulative. Type 7 loves to have influence over others while type 8 loves power.

These two types blend to form an individual who knows how to control or influence people’s decisions.

While this is true, this does not necessarily mean that they might use this to hurt others. However, it is definitely part of their arsenal." - Personality Hunt

Though Abigail isn't manipulative throughout most of the game, when her marriage to the farmer is on the rocks, her manipulative tendencies start rearing their ugly head:

She becomes passive-aggressive, wondering out loud if she'll eventually get bored living on the farm.

She also asks if she could have done better than marrying the farmer and brings up her old flame Sebastian in front of them.

A low blow, if you ask me.

Examples:

“I wonder if I could've done better... I was very good friends with Sebastian before we met. He was probably the one...”

“I wonder if we'll live here our entire lives? I might get bored.”

3. Distrustful

"There’s a lot of talk on ENFPs being naïve. While this personality type loves ideas and wants to trust others, they can be especially distrustful.

They realize that people might not be exactly what they sell themselves as. Thus, this personality type might play the fool but understand exactly what is going on.

You’ll probably know where you stand with them when the chips are down." - Personality Hunt

Examples:

“One thing I've learned living here... everyone stares at you if you look different.”

“I can't trust a person who doesn't like animals...Oh, don't worry! I know you're an animal lover!”

“Hey. I know you're smart, but I still worry about you sometimes. The world is full of monsters. Just promise me you'll be careful. I don't want to lose you.”

“Hey! What... you think I'm too weak to swing a blade? Sorry, I guess I'm getting a little defensive.”

------------------------------------------------------------------

Conclusion

Abigail is everyone's favourite goth gf in the Stardew Valley community: she's outgoing, quirky, energetic, and marches to the beat of her own drum.

However, there is a lot more to Abigail than her renegade lifestyle:

Though her character arc isn't as dramatic as other bachelors and bachelorettes, Abigail struggles to find what many of us yearn for in our lives: happiness.

Though she hides it well, Abigail is deeply unhappy with her life and life circumstances. Her parents are overbearing and controlling, demanding she conform to their traditional lifestyle and manipulating her into doing what they want by holding financial support over her head:

"Stop trying to make me feel guilty. I appreciate that you and Dad are helping me out, but expecting me to dress the way you want is ridiculous. I'm not a little girl anymore, Mom.”

"Mind your own business [Dad]! You think I should be at home cooking dinner because I'm a girl, don't you?!"

Even her community doesn't seem to understand her or make an effort to. There are few people she feels she can trust to be herself around, and those are few and far between.

“One thing I've learned living here... everyone stares at you if you look different.”

Her Enneagram type 7 desire for happiness, paired with her MBTI cognitive strengths as an ENFP, leave her wanting more than what Pelican Town can offer her. That is until the farmer arrives and embraces Abigail for who she truly is: encouraging her to follow her dreams, and supporting her in all her adventure-filled endeavours.

“I always loved this place, long before you moved in. Now I can explore the farm whenever I want!”

Do you agree that Abigail is an ENFP 7w8? If not, what type do you think she is? Let me know your thoughts in the comments :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------- References:

Personality Hunt: ENFP 7w8 - The Complete Guide

[moonlightsapphic]

Y'all, I find the reception of XO, Kitty so dissapointing.

TL; DR: The underlying homophobia/biphobia/lesbophobia/misoginy towards Yuri as potential and viable endgame which I don't think would have happened if she were yet another hot guy.

The straight-baiting marketing of this show was absolutely genius and I loved that Jenny Han, who writes the straightest central romances to ever romance (To All the Boys I've Loved Before, The Summer I Turned Pretty), actually initiated a series with such visibly queer storylines and then literally jumped into this sort-of-interracial, sapphic romance centered around a bi+ character. I could see Han trying to be more inclusive in her past on-screen works, but this was incredible.

No you don't understand. There was this point midway through the show where I thought I was in a fever dream and watching wishful fanmade content because I couldn't believe an IRL Netflix show could actually give us this. My mind was blown.

So you'll understand that I was fully bamboozled to see that social media is swamped with Min-ho fangirls pretending like Yuri doesn't even exist. I love Min-ho too, but am I the only one who also saw so many signs that point to a future Yuri x Kitty?

First, for the narrative satisfaction of their moms being best friends in the past!

... and to complete Kitty's coming of age! Kitty, growing up in the cisheteronormative Song-Covey household, made the oversight of initially operating under the assumption that she exclusively likes boys and that she has mastered the art of relationships. That's already been debunked partway by her breakup with her first boyfriend who was supposed to be endgame, and is only going to be sealed further if she ends up with a girl in a long-term relationship. (And no, of course she doesn't have to "end up" with a girl for her queer identity to be valid, but I think it just makes the most narrative sense to have that unfold in the story as her worldview alters.)

Here I present to you: my pet peeves in the XO, Kitty fandom

hyping up parallels between Peter x LJ and Minho x Kitty scenes claiming that this means Minho x Kitty may be endgame. They literally have to reach and dig for those because the most parallels are between Peter x LJ and Yuri x Kitty, right from the scene that they bumped into each other! Kitty has also shown zero romantic interest in Minho so far, as opposed to her very keen interest in Yuri.

People finally addressing the elephant in the room like "Ugh, Yuri is probably going to be endgame. 🙄 I want Minho instead!!" like it's such a disappointing or borderline gross outcome. Yuri is a much more intense enemies-to-lovers character than Minho. She is beautiful, kind, and fun with a little bit of bite, everything that Minho is plus Kitty is falling for her hard.

Being real here—If you think Yuri is a boring love interest or kind of a b*tch while Minho is simply a fun old enemies-to-lovers character, I am begging you to check your biases. You, a straight woman, may only see hostile fictional women as competitiion and hostile fictional men as ... well, kinda hot. However, Kitty is bi+ and she could see them both as viable romantic interests, equally. Yes, Yuri has done more malicious things than Minho, but then again she has had a harder time this academic year than Minho. You are obviously still allowed to like Minho better, as long as you're not dismissing the struggles of and flattening a strong female character. Misoginy and homophobia make an ugly combo, y'all. Trust me, you don't want any part in that.

(Additional unpopular opinion: I'm going to get crucified for this but I genuinely think Kitty is too boring for Minho in the same way that Dae was too boring for Kitty. He seems to be into her only from the Halo Effect. Minho is my child and I squeal whenever he's on screen and I hope to see him finding someone actually fun!)

Saying that Kitty’s crush on Yuri was just a token plot point with no real basis or depth. While there is some unrealistic family drama in the show, it's all still credible. Fiction is supposed to bring in imaginative elements and try to keep things grounded. Regardless, I'm never going to be the person who says that a wild and shocking bi- or gay-awakening is unrealistic. As a queer person, let me tell you that it is just as wild and confusinh for us IRL.

Besides, many cishet people actually do not care if (or is hateful when) the MC is bi, that I doubt how much it “helps” with marketing. (That's why queerbaiting exists, folks.) Also, have you seen Kitty in TATBILB? That's a bi preteen right there if I've ever seen one.

"Stop trying to invalidate other people's ships!" I will say this once: I don't care if you ship Kitty with Min-ho, or Dae, or anyone else that's not Yuri. I DON'T CARE! Frankly, good for you because straight ships have better luck out there anyway, ya know? I am simply begging you to not reduce a queer person's nuanced concerns about dismissal of sapphic fictional characters to petty fandom arguments. Read the room, guys. Please.

This is such a crucial show to many of us. I just want y'all to understand that this is just a little bigger than your celebrity crush on a hot guy whose character you're rooting for. We never, ever get contemporary slice-of-life romcom sapphic rep (and Netflix is notorious for cancelling sapphic shows, too). Please don't be dismissive of a perfectly good possible ending! We want to give Netflix every reason to renew this show, and give Han every reason to allow Kitty to flourish just the way she plans to! (This is me begging y'all to not influence the writers into swerving last-minute towards a sloppy Minho endgame, though I do trust her better than that.)

I hope that Netflix renews the show, even if it's through the excitement of straight people in denial LMAO. And then I hope it treats us with a glorious sapphic ending.*

*(Aaaand I can already imagine the cishet women in the audience complaining online about what a terrible person Kitty is for leading Min-ho on and then dumping him, and how she and Yuri are both awful and totally deserve each other. Music to my ears.)

[garbagequeer]

Can you help me im so confused how archie (and everyone listening to him) had those memories for his poem i thought everyone but betty and jughead forgot 😭

bobbyjean asked: Wait a second were those the good memories. the serial killer gene and jason’s corpse. and archie playing football in leopold and loeb juvenile detention center……

well imo you can work with different theories so like

they dont remember these things as things they lived themselves but they remember them as things tabitha showed them the first time they saw the riverdale memories (so like if they'd watched themselves go through these things in tv but not as if they happened irl for them)

goodbye riverdale is back to jughead's narration and jughead is unreliable he's just making shit up (this also goes with the theory that what jughead showed betty was not real but was a fabrication he made up for her as her dying wish was to relive those days with everyone as they were + the fake reality had plot holes because to be fair jughead was like 86 when he died he cant keep track of who remembers the serial killer genes and who doesn't he's busy)

narrator jughead seems to be in control of this episode more than he was before (we see him corporeally and there's 2 jugheads in the end) so the characters' lives have been rewritten to fit the narrative jughead wanted to tell so they remember because he does too and the story belongs to him and not to them (to me jughead is always afraid of abandonment and change so he keeps his stories ones where his friends don't leave or grow + he has been shown to find it hard to come up with anything other than stories about his friends in riverdale in s5 and as bunker/god jughead). for me this also fits with the idea of the characters and angel tabitha trying to break free and narrator/god jughead(s) not allowing it -> town won

they loved these memories they love cults and killing and corpses and gay juvie. the bad memories were like archie not getting his high school diploma or something

from a doylist pov (boring) this meant nothing about the story and was just an homage to their most iconic moments in the show for the audience and the crew. you could twist this a bit to be meta and make something up about the characters behaving as characters and talking willingly to an audience because they exist only in our eyes if you wanted

which are all fun ideas to consider and theyre not mutually exclusive (like it could be jughead taking over the narrative but it could be in a world he makes up just for betty so all the other characters are in the real sweet hereafter but betty went to purgatory pop's because she does remember it all and this prevented her from being able to leave it behind. also archie for sure would remember some of gay juvie he loved the gay parts of gay juvie he told me. and fangs probably had god times at the cult i mean he dated human kevin maybe a love for cults is what they had in common)

to me it stood out as a moment where i was like oh jughead is lying to us for sure. awesome. one last jughead lying to us and trapping us in the cycle forever for the road yippee

[santacoppelia]

A different approach to narrative analysis model, (over)simplified.

I promised to make a post about “my approach” to narrative analysis. When I say “mine” I mean it literally: a couple of years ago, a good friend of mine (who is a philosopher, with a knack for logical models and maths) and me (I’m sort of a CommSci major, with wide experience in cultural semiotics and directing narrative analysis thesis) were so frustrated by the finale of “Game of Thrones” that we started ranting, which was the natural way at the time.

What wasn’t natural was that we started veering towards the need of a different sort of analysis when talking about “serialized audiovisual narratives” (yeah, series). Because most of the tools you can find out there are:

Derived from literary analysis: where, in most cases, you have only one creator for the entire thing, while in series you have a lot of people involved in what you get on screen: writers, directors, showrunners, actors, editors… If you want to take the "autorial intent" route, you find that there are too many possible authors, each one with a different approach and ability to contribute. Also, there is the question of time, but I'll talk about this in a bit.

Influenced by psychology: which, I admit, is a lot of fun, but it is also speculative at best… because a character, by nature, has “no psychology” or “inner life”. We all love analyzing and overanalyzing this (it is sooooo much fun!) but in the end, in terms of achieving some sort of “objectivity”, it is really difficult to pinpoint and to get with some semblance of certainty. All we have to understand the characters are their actions, really.

Too abstract to generalize: I love narratology, really. The emphasis on characters being sort of “agents” that fulfill actions that are needed to propel the story forward is precious for many things and allows shifts in analysis that can be delicious (“What happens if you make your antagonist the actant?” might be my favorite). However, this tool set works better when analyzing written narratives, for specific scenes, and even when you could extrapolate it to compare or check out entire character trajectories… It is just not the right tool to do it.

Another factor that we considered was that, while books have an inner time that may or may not correspond to any external time logic, usually serialized audiovisual narratives are constrained by other sorts of time: episodes, seasons and such. Characters do not live in reality, but live in a “reality” that needs to create its own inner “sense”. As my coauthor would put it during one of our first discussions: “the main difference between being a human and being a character is that characters have a lot of ellipsis, while us humans have to go to the loo, pay taxes and do a lot of boring stuff”.

If you live in a “reality” where ellipsis are rules and not exceptions, every action counts. If an action is being shown, it is because it has relevance into building the plot. But how can we use this analyze the “probable trajectory” of a plot?

Our first proposal was centering the idea of actions over time. But… We needed something more. If we do not have psychological parameters, how can we observe the effects of actions over time in the narrative? We decided to center in relationships. Those are also “observable”: you can know if an action had an effect on a relationship between characters (usually, and we could also build a “valence” for those relationships: positive (strengthens the relationship) or “negative” (undermines the relationship).

We built this interaction scale, very modeled around the sort of actions you would find in a show like GoT, but that we felt can be easily extrapolated to other narratives:

Therefore, you could see how an action affected the relationship over time, and it also had to “build a trajectory” that had some internal logic in the internal world. A good narrative, we proposed, was not going to take a character from 0 to 100 in a blink, or that would break the verisimilitude of the whole world. Yup, we should remember that the last season of GoT inspired this.

What we were looking for was something as “neutral” as narratology, but that we could also transform into… TA-DA! A mathematical model. That was mostly the work of the other coauthors. They analyzed and programed all the interactions in the first three seasons of GoT… And well, it clicked, and allowed us to understand if a character arc was working in terms of verosimilitude, or not. You can find the whole paper here.

Even when I don’t use the math model for predictability, I usually go to the same basic principles when analyzing media: characters, actions, relationships and if that “makes sense” in the internal logic of the world. That is also why I tend to not invest myself deeply into “symbolic analysis”: it is fun, and it is great entertainment, but I’d bring up a couple of concepts borrowed from Umberto Eco: “obra aperta” (open work), as a finished and published work that becomes a playground for all the interpretations that the reader/spectator wants to superimpose over them (some of them “more accepted” than others, but none of them absolutely right or wrong, disquieting as it sounds) and “infinite semiosis”, the phenomenon through which we connect our references with one another and multiply their meanings. There is a real life complexity built into semiotic and symbolic analysis, in the purest sense of "complexity": too many moving parts, generating emerging qualities that have no clear causality. This is one of the most frequent criticisms received by these models in academia!

That's why, fellow tumblr citizens, I work the way I work... And I loved the idea of sharing this in here. It would probably be one of those posts with 2 notes, but I'm weirdly proud of this "toy" and I wanted to share with the class.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

The event was so weird.

I guess we were expecting something akin to Glorious Masquerade with a more extensive story, more meaningful character interactions and more impactful situations. From the way they framed it, that’s kinda what it looked like?

I wasn’t expecting it to be like GM at all, but like you said, it just feels like it was supposed to be much bigger than it actually was but they had to reduce/take out a lot of stuff from the event for unknown reasons. Like we’ve been hearing about Falena all this time and when we get an event that is centered around Leona and his homeland we don’t even get to meet him? We get a random Zazu-inspired character instead? We get crumbs of family drama and it’s not even the brothers directly interacting? They imply the fight is gonna be this huge thing, we’ll see the importance and strength of the lioness beastwomen with them implying Cheka’s guards are gonna fight?? And then???

And then Catch the Tail wasn’t even…. A cathartic moment. No hype. Nothing exciting or meaningful. This event was basically tourism. As interesting it as it is to hear about Sunset Savanna’s culture and culinary, I feel like the entire event was just that and it got a bit boring for me. Not even many fun interactions between characters, most of the time they are talking about souvenirs and food – we got that in Jamil and Kalim’s event and it wasn’t even boring then. We also got that in Glorious Masquerade but there was so much more to it than that.

Honestly this event was a let down :/ at least we got to see Leona look in his card. Maybe they couldn’t do both this event and the chapter 7 part 2 release, who knows.

[Referencing this post!]

While I’m disappointed with how little the Sunset Savanna event did, I’m not too surprised because I understand that this is ultimately the same as other hometown events. The bulk of the story will inevitably be dedicated to learning about this new location and its traditions, tasting local delicacies, and souvenir shopping. This was also somewhat true of Glorious Masquerade, but that was on an entirely different scale (basically the same as the Halloween events) so it was allowed to have a grander story and bigger stakes.

I would say the degree of “fun” to the interactions is a really subjective thing? Some people won’t like certain character combinations over others. For example, this event was a lot of bickering due to Leona not getting along with like��� anyone, whether that’s his classmates or those from his homeland. (I actually really liked those interactions 😂 but I get why someone would think they’re annoying or even repetitive after a while.)

I feel like the Scalding Sands event was only “fun” to me in that it was novel (it was the first of the hometown events). I was pretty bored with it outside of seeing the food and Najma; it was a lot of Jamil being saddled with more work which… just made me feel bad for him, not entertained (especially knowing his history with being overworked). The character interactions from that particular event weren’t for me, and it didn’t help that nothing of much significance happened?? The only notable conflicts were that Malleus vanished for five seconds and a monkey stole a flash drive, both of which were resolved in like a few chapters altogether. At least Scalding Sands didn’t make any big promises that it failed to deliver on?? Which is sort of the opposite of the Sunset Savanna event…

I think if TWST wanted to make this event bigger than it actually was, they should have saved it for a special occasion. The last part of it was so short (like 4 parts???? And only one part was for Leona showing up and winning) ;u; so it seemed like there was definitely more space in even the current version to expand on the ideas. Again, it really feels incomplete or like… not fully realized due to all the missed opportunities and unfulfilled hype surrounding the tournament (which feels weird given that the event was apparently in the works for 2 years??).

It is what it is though, we’ll have to accept it and move on. There’s still the Groovies to come on the 27th, along with the next part of episode 7 and Lilia’s Dorm Uniform card!

[oiblackestsheep]

Letters to MBTI: ESTJ

Dear ESTJs,

Webster's dictionary defines "realist" as:

Nah, I'm just kidding, I'll get right to the point. I know that's how you Te-doms like to do things, anyway!

If you hadn't already guessed, my definition of a realist is, without a shadow of a doubt, the ESTJ.

I can't help but notice how few ESTJs we see interacting with the online MBTI community, and while it is too bad because I think they can have such useful insights to things, it really is no surprise why.

So, exactly, why is it?

Between dom Te making what feels like all of the practical decisions (for themselves and their own organizations/friend-groups/communities) and aux Si constantly storing and updating their internal database of relevant details to continuously inform their choices going forward, ESTJs really do find themselves at the center of it all!

They are focused on making real and measurable change/impact on the environment around them, and, it's usually well within the reasonable realm of possibility, too, which makes them all the more likely to be successful! This can be professional impacts at work/school, or it can be personal impacts at home/with friends.

Either way, ESTJ knows how to set their own goals, take the appropriate steps to achieve them, then cross the goal off their list in the most satisfying way. Only replace it with a new goal in mind!

All of this to say, there really is such little time to spend on hypothetical musings like MBTI (to an extent) on the internet. And while this has manifested itself in my own life as not having a whole lot of common ground for sharing interests with ESTJs, I have truly come to respect and praise the dedication that ESTJs have to their own craft (similar to how I view the ESFJs, too).

ESTJs, like all of the xSxJs / high-Si users, make the world go round. They keep us on track from day-to-day. Whether it be heading up the group project at school, keeping employees/co-workers on track throughout the work week, or simply navigating all of the necessary logistics that inherently come with a big day out with your friends, the ESTJs are on top of it, and they do it well and with pride.

Especially in social situations, they can be the unsung hero because it's often that having all of the boring logistics satisfied and taken care of that allows everyone else to have fun. Nobody has fun when the social circle gets to the event late, doesn't have enough food or money, or forgot their tickets. Who makes sure that doesn't happen? The ESTJ, that's who.

So give thanks to your local ESTJ. They work hard to make sure everything goes smoothly because it satisfies them, but also because, deep down, they care that everyone else has everything they need to be their most effective self.

[chocolix76]

An unstarted project: Rupert and the Misfits

Just a few months back, I came up with an idea for a FNAF fangame called Rupert and the Misfits. Since I lack coding ability and the money to hire a team at the moment, this game probably won't go into production for another year or two. The premise of the game is subject to change but so far it was a 14-night game, each night averaging about 7-8 minutes. The storyline follows two protagonists, Melanie (the night shift worker) and Leon (the dayshift worker) trying to piece together what's wrong with the animatronics at the restaurant while surviving their shifts.

The restaurant The Misfit's Dine & Drink is geared towards older teens and young adults. It gives them a place to be themselves and feel represented and empowered while enjoying a nice meal, entertainment, and even making a friend or two. The animatronics not only play in a band but also do interactive events such as comedy or D&D nights and when they aren't providing entertainment on stage, they're roaming around the building and interacting with patrons. They're programmed for a more mature audience and are allowed to operate with a limited set of rules as to how they should behave. However, they are always respectful to patrons unless rudeness is deserved and aren't allowed to harm patrons unless the restaurant or the animatronics themselves are in danger.

If more people show interest, I'll gladly go into more detail about how the game itself works, but for now, I'll just talk about the main animatronics! There isn't any concept art for them yet and probably won't be for a while, but I'll open up asks about the game if people are interested!

Rupert: She's a fennec fox and the main vocalist of, well, Rupert and the Misfits! They have more of a rough and self-centered personality, wanting to be the center of attention most of the time. However, they are fine with sharing the spotlight with her bandmates every once and a while. Unlike the other members of the band, she has a two-toned voice which means that when she talks normally, she can speak in both a male and female pitch. When they sing, they have the ability to sing songs that require duets all by themself. To fit with their design as a fennec fox, she has sensitive hearing that allows her to stay on pitch with the music they're singing so they're always on pitch and in tune.

Osmo: He's a raccoon and the bassist of the band and overall the most chaotic of the group. Patrons sometimes joke around saying that he lacks any common sense because there have been times where he has gotten in trouble with the staff for attempting to set things on fire just because he's bored. Much like Rupert, he is a bit rough in nature and enjoys teasing patrons or just messing around with them, but he's really a softy at heart! Despite his more rough personality, he's a gentle person in reality and knows his limits and when to leave certain patrons be.

Oswald: He's a quokka and the drummer of the band as well as the gentle giant of the group. Oswald also has the ability to play woodwind/brass instruments thanks to a tube built into his throat that can extend and blow into an instrument if needed. While most of his other bandmates are more outgoing and don't mind breaking a rule or two for the sake of having some harmless fun, Oswald is more laid back and would rather go with the flow and watch from the sidelines than engage in the shenanigans himself. Rather than causing trouble when he's not performing, Oswald prefers starting meaningful conversations with patrons, ranging from simple small talk to deep almost therapeutic conversations.

Spencer: He's a calico cat and the guitarist for the band. Like Oswald, he also has a function where he has a tube in his throat that allows him to play woodwind/brass instruments. Despite being more reserved, he's the most active with interacting with patrons and will often flirt with anyone he deems can handle it without things getting strange. The staff has specific outfits picked out for each animatronic, but Spencer often refuses to wear the outfits chosen for him and will take the more punk outfits and switch them with more feminine clothing. He's in charge of D&D nights and comedy sets and though he can often be quiet, he more than makes up for it in stage presence!

[techtechonmymind]

Okay now that time has allowed it to marinate, here are my thoughts on Golden Age like three days later haha.

Baggy Jeans - For me, Ten, Doyoung, and Taeyong are just incredible in this song. Now that the harsh shock of the chorus has blunted, I really do think it’s a beautiful track. Ten underneath Jaehyun’s lines at around 0:30 is absolutely breathtaking. This kind of vocal directing is what makes NCT so fucking special. What a gift. This is the first of kind of a running theme of very stage musical theatrical sounds that so consistently run through the album, which I think is really impressive and cohesive! When they sing as a chorus before the bridge, these five sound so beautiful together. The bridge itself - stunning.

Listening to the track itself, it’s a bit challenging to really understand the final fifth without the performance. Like if I had no idea this had a video and choreo, I would be extremely confused about the section where Ten dances in the center, for example. I hadn’t really thought about that. I don’t really think a song necessarily needs to stand without its performance, but it’s just something to keep in mind. Anyway, I do like it, but it can never break into full marks category because the lyrics are nonsense and not in a fun way lol. Also, I love Mark to pieces, but I find the rap in this song uncharacteristically forgettable. 7/10

Call D - This is another song where the performance is playing in my head as I listen. The instrumental is so good, with what I think sounds like a melodica. Both Ten and Taeyong sound absolutely beautiful. I don’t really have notes. Again, this song is very much like a stage production - we saw that at NCT Nation. 10/10

PADO - Haechans and Junjun - a perfect partnership. The brass instrumentation is gorgeous. Haechan’s lead into the final chorus is beautiful, as is Xiaojun’s adlib out of it. 10/10

Interlude: Oasis - Chenle and Jisung sound lovely. Jaemin’s kinda deadpan delivery works for something like this. The ultra high chimes at the very top end are so grating to me though. 7/10

The Bat - I both love the chorus and feel it drilling it into my skull haha. I love Jeno performing this song, and I am enjoying his foray into more challenging rap verses. Yuta is the highlight for me here. After a few days, I actually find it a bit boring. I really liked it at first. Kind of a shame. 7/10

Alley Oop - More brass! Extended sports metaphor. Yuta sounds so lovely. I actually also really like Jaemin in the choruses and Jeno at the end of the bridge. Their boyish tones work well for a song about being a basketball team or whatever. 8/10

That’s Not Fair - This is such a theatrical track. This is the song where that running theme really peaks for me - even moreso than in Golden Age. It very much feels like it should be in a musical on stage lol. It’s a weird but very familiar little number. Ten sounds great. 7/10

Kangaroo - So cute. Weeooweeoo! I loved this song as well when I first heard it and still do now, but it doesn’t leave me with the strongest impression. 7/10

Not Your Fault - Beautiful, lovely backing harmonies. Would have liked more dual shared lines like Xiaojun and Kun’s. But NCT have many gorgeous ballads. This doesn’t stand out that much above most of them. Except that it has my beloved 96 line… singing beautifully… but independently haha. 6/10

Golden Age - If it was up to me, I would have chosen not to use such a present Beethoven sample. It never works. I am also not an enjoyer of Red Velvet’s Feel My Rhythm lol. My gut says to me that NCT’s team feel unconfident with full group songs, so they’re opting for weird mash-ups (Resonance), the safest soft jammer on the planet (Beautiful), or a song that relies on SUCH an overwhelmingly present sample. I think they would truly benefit from just taking the plunge and seeing how weird they can get. They have such depth of talent, they can do it.

But I do think the rest of the song works very well. I love the glitch and change up, and the back and forth throughout the rest of the song. I love how anthemic the chorus feels. The pre-choruses are a bit too Christmastime lol. Xiaojun and Yangyang’s “everybody! say are you ready? arrrre you ready??”, Doyoung’s stunning line, the busy drum fill and Taeil’s closing line are a lovely stretch to the finish line. Also just happy Tennie has such a big presence in this, even though it’s in my behated pre-choruses lol. I kinda wish Taeyong was in this more, oddly enough lol. I think it would benefit from even more of a counter to the inclusion of a classical sample in the form of Taeyong’s weirdness. 6/10

[biblicallyaccurateandrogynoussex]

now allow me to fill you in on our cast of characters, all with a healthy dose of found family. (note that if i say a sexuality or anything of that sort its likely a headcanon, this show was made in like the 80s or 90s)

Captain Benjamin Sisko: human. he's like. the only one on this show who isn't some flavor of queer. he's the supportive ally and also very dadcoded (but also has like. an actual son. his name is jake and someone compared me to him once). sisko is in charge of the station! he calls all the shots and is also apparently part bajoran god? he also really likes baseball! one time (in the middle of space war) he taught all his senior officers how to play baseball so he could be petty and win against some dude he didnt like.

Colonel Kira Nerys: bajoran! she's definitely lesbian. she also used to be a terrorist, but now she's second in command! shes got a very queer relationship with the science officer, jadzia dax. her character is really fun. she's technically not a part of starfleet, since she still works for bajor, and that means she gets to bend the rules a little bit. she's stubborn, and her temper can run a bit high, which provides for a contrast with sisko. canonically, shes with odo, and their relationship is the most boring EVER except for when they got together that was so fucking funny

Doctor Julian Bashir: MY SKRUNKLY!!!! he's just a human guy but he's genetically modified because his parents are ableist! he's definitely autistic, transgender, AND bisexual. and when he was a kid, he was special needs, and learned very slowly, and his parents HATED that so they illegally turned him into a super human intelligence wise (and BECAUSE it's illegal, he hides this for most of the series). he aslo CANNOT stop committing medical malpractice and flirting with his patients its awful. hes got a Very Very Homoeroitc relationship with one Elim Garak, who refers to him consistently as "my dear doctor" (they're clearly fucking).

Chief Miles O'Brien: human, literally just some guy, goes through The Horrors regularly. i wish i could remember some of the shit the writers put him through because they do him SO dirty every time there is an episode centered around him. he's the maintenance guy and he technically isnt even an official officer. he was also on a previous show, star trek: the next generation. he's got a wife and kids and a Weird relationship with bashir. theyve at least explored each others bodies.

Jadzia Dax: i forgot her rank. actually. but she;s trill! the trill are weird because there are the PEOPLE and then there are the worms (symbiotes or however its spelled) and you can choose to get joined with a worm or not. jadzia is joined so shes got a shit ton of memories of like 7 other people (kinda systemcore /projecting) and she's best friends with sisko. she's the science officer and canonically gets with worf. they get married, their relationship is... interesting? she's very fun tho, shes got tons of skills from her worms knowledge and she regularly wins at gambling.

(THERE ARE MORE IM SENDING ANOTHER ASK AND PRAYING THIS ONE DOESNT GET EATEN)

I love the comments on how some of these guys have explored each other's bodies. Also we love queer coded guys and system coded guys. Obsessed with their names they're like so normal but to the left

[dangermousie]

I am going to add my own rant to this because oh boy is this topic near and dear to my heart.

I am someone who LOVES serious period narratives - book or TV. Was a history major, before that read Livy and Tacitus for fun in middle school. I got in trouble in 5th grade because we had to do a report on the favorite thing we read in the summer and I wrote that mine was Euripides' Alcestis and the teacher refused to accept it. My parents got me an edition of Demosthenes' speeches for a New Year's present in 6th grade. I read the entire 20 novel Les Rougon-Macquart cycle by Zola when I was a tween. I freaked all over Gorgani's Vis and Ramin at 12 and used to be able to recite bits by heart. I learned English specifically so I could read Edward Bulwer-Lytton's The Last Days of Pompeii. So basically NERD NERD NERD NERD NERDDDDDDDDD THE BIGGEST NERD EVER - imagine the most annoying snobby nerd possible, that's me.

The reason I bring this up (other than comment that my upbringing was like a wealthy Victorian boy orphan's) is that I am hardly someone who watches idol historicals because I don't like "heavier" stuff or have no interest in history. Some of my favorite cdramas are opuses like The Story of Han Dynasty, Three Kingdoms (2010) and The Advisors' Alliance ie serious historical drama stuff or fantasy equivalent like Tribes and Empires or Eagle Flag.

And guess what? Every time I see someone bash idol historicals or complain that eg In Blossom did not have complex study of limits of feudal obligations, I want to roll my eyes so hard they fall out.

"Why do people who are not like me like stuff that is not like stuff I like" is a question one should stop asking once one hits double digits. It would be incredibly boring if everything was the same and only one genre. And it is likewise ridiculous to blame a work of a particular genre for following the canons of that genre. Oh no, a murder mystery has dead bodies!!! How dare people in a romcom have a meet cute!!!! etc etc

An idol historical like eg Wonderland of Love or The Wolf isn't going to have deep politics but a traditional period cdrama is likely not going to have much of a role for women or much romance. And if you think the latter has less merit, you should perhaps ask why are things considered traditionally directed at women less valued, to be looked down on? Why is exploration of love and other emotional relationships of less value than a narrative centering on politics and war?

I think a really good way to compare this is The Advisors' Alliance v The Secret of the Three Kingdoms, since both of those dramas cover basically the same period with largely the same characters - Cao Cao bringing the end to the Han Dynasty. The former is a very serious period drama (and is brilliant - if you haven't watched it, you must!) and the latter is an idol historical.

Here is Sima Yi in TAA (center):

And here he is in Secret:

If you want brilliant politics and some insane acting, the former winds hands down. But the former also has extremely limited roles for women (there are some of course, but they are secondary), and romance is also of course secondary. The latter does not have amazing politics but its exploration of grief, friendship under stress and of a woman (the last Han empress) finding softness and love instead of just grief and cause is wonderful; its romance between a very soft man and very bitter woman is excellent. And the acting is just fine even if not as epic as TAA. Why is one better than the other? If it's because one privileges romantic love more than the other, ask yourself why this is an issue for you.

Are narratives like The Double female wish fulfillment fantasies? Yeah. But so is a lot of actioners (or traditional wuxia) for men. So what? Something is either well-acted or not, something is either well-written on its own merits and its own parameters or not. Because something covers romance or allows female wish fulfillment in terms of narratives or hot men does not make it inferior.

My three favorite cdramas this year are in no order, Joy of Life 2, Tender Light and Eternal Brotherhood. None of them can be classified as idol anything. Last year my very favorite cdrama was Lost You Forever part 1, which was definitely an idol xianxia followed by A Journey to Love, which was an idol historical. So what? It's not the subject matter but how well it's made.

PS Some of what are considered classics also centered around love by the way. Fakhraddin Gorgani's Vis and Ramin? Is a hell of a love story.

More than the days the two worlds have been given, More than the stars that fill the vault of heaven, More than the seeds in every last location, More than mankind in every generation, More than birds’ feathers, hairs on every pelt, More than all words that scribes have ever spelt, More than your thoughts, and my anxieties, More than all faiths and creeds and pieties, I wish you joy for all eternity And wish myself your love and loyalty. May you find happiness, and may the light That shines from you illuminate my sight; A thousand times I wish, and wish again, That great good fortune may be yours. Amen

Looking down on "girl cootie" topics does not make one cool.

In Defense of the Idol C-Drama

(I will finally eat crow: after years of complaining about how everyone looked too goddamn young in historical, I guess I am now writing a defense of it?)

But I had some thoughts brewing in my head after some recent discussions with @dreamyklutzsblog and @silviakundera. And of course, caveat being people can enjoy what they enjoy, people can dislike what they want to dislike, what press my buttons may not press your buttons, etc etc.

Recently I equated the idol historical (but idol c-dramas in general, I just happen to watch idol historical the most) with the CW, and that actually got me thinking, why do I feel strangely defensive of this genre even though LBR, there are many idol dramas with plots and acting that I don't enjoy. I think it really to me boils down to one thing: I feel like idol dramas actually view the female audience as a marketable audience.

I, of course, do not want to speculate on the motives of IQIYI and Youku and Tencent investors, but it does feel to me that idol dramas target a female audience. Many times I've seen critiques of idol dramas as too "Mary Sue" or "wish fulfillment." But in a media space across international lines where the default target audience is men, it is refreshing to find a genre that is targeted towards women. Now does it mean that every single piece of idol drama is a feminist, unproblematic work? Of course not. Just like how Western genre romance does not operate that way. Nonetheless, I do find idol dramas tend to center the narrative around the FL.

Does it mean that I hate prestige dramas and will love every single idol drama that comes my way? of course not. Are there "bad" idol dramas? absolutely. Do I find that often people who criticize idol dramas don't get the point of idol dramas? yes.

[moo-nstone]

the sun through the houses 

sun in the 1st house: you irradiate confidence and self-assurance, as if you know exactly who the fuck you are and what you're here to do and people are very drawn to that kind of energy in you, to the way you're so full of life, spontaneous, ready to face anything that life throws at you and your ambitious nature. you thrive when you're uplifting others to feel as good as you do because you don't want to shine alone, and because on the inside, you might be much more insecure than people are aware of - you understand what it's like to be at rock bottom, but you're good at hiding this part of yourself. can be very controlling and competitive, and if you were raised in an environment where your parents used to fight a lot, you might chase conflict wherever you go. be careful with being arrogant and proud, and be aware that your strong energy might overwhelm a lot of people. whatever you do, you follow your heart. you need appreciation and recognition from others. you keep your cool in the most stressful situations. 

sun in the 2nd house: you crave to achieve financial success; here, the planet of the ego is tied to the house that rules material possessions and our self-worth, so you want to achieve power by getting rich because that's how you feel safe. you're very talented when it comes to business and making good investments that'll allow you to get to the next step. when it comes to your ambitions, if you want something, you'll work hard for it and only stop when you get it. you're very witty, with your dry humor and sarcastic personalities, you truly have the best comebacks lmao and above all, you always keep your word. you take pleasure in everything lavish that life has to offer; you have great taste and know when something is of value almost instinctively. you need to make sure you're appreciating the people in your life instead of only what you own and your ambitions because you're at your best when you're expressing your kind and generous side. you might be into retail therapy when you feel sad or empty, but afterward, you might feel terrible because the fulfillment shopping gives you is only temporary. careful with being controlling or possessive. 

sun in the 3rd house: you use your mind like a weapon. you truly have a way with words and you're able to express yourself in a way that leaves everyone wanting to know more about you; but most of all, you crave to keep on learning more and more and to expand your knowledge, because that's what feeds your soul. spontaneous personality; bold but unpredictable and you feel a sense of pride whenever you think about your friends, they're very important to you. you have the capability to bring stories to life, this placement is amazing for aspiring writers, and you like analyzing your surroundings which, in turn, makes you a very adaptable person. constant change in your way of thinking because you're always viewing things from different perspectives. you can become easily bored when you aren't feeling mentally stimulated, which is why you're always seeking new experiences, communicating with others and why you live so much in the present. persuasive. people who don't seek to expand their minds terrify you. you refuse to live in the shadows of your siblings, you have a need to stand as your own person. 

sun in the 4th house: when the planet of the ego is in the house of our family life, our inner experiences and our childhood trauma, you are blessed with a rich inner experience that leads you to want to delve deep into what you went through and how those experiences shaped you into the person you are today – and that means the trauma you went through, too. if you had bad experiences in your child, your journey is longer and harder because you find it harder to understand life, and you might've compared your home life to the "outside world" a lot, feeling like they were two different entities (think sinclair from demian). you're very caring and nurturing and very attached to your family, either the one you were brought under or the one you want to establish. having a home that feels cozy and safe is what brings you security, and you want to bring happiness to the ones you love the most. be careful with being too pessimistic and feeling paranoid that something bad will suddenly happen, and also with being too controlling and domineering. you need a lot of reassurance, but be careful with coming off as if you don't trust your loved ones. very strategic, you play the long game. 

sun in the 5th house: you literally irradiate artistic talent and creativity! you thrive when you express yourself and your originality and get recognized for it, and appreciation for your efforts is very important to you. intelligent, you can be very cunning and strategic, at the same time that your optimism and spontaneous nature naturally commands attention from others. very dramatic, you shine in the eyes of others. but although you have a happy aura to you, you can be very hard on yourself, thinking you're not good enough whenever you're not being appreciated. at your worst, you can have an exaggerated sense of pride, dominating energy, manipulative tendencies or feeling less than others. you may fluctuate between focusing a lot on yourself and being overly generous with everyone in your life. bold, you do a lot just to feel alive. you're very loyal and love deeply, passionate and nurturing, but be careful with involving yourself with people who take advantage of that. you should realize that appreciation should come from yourself and not others. if you add discipline to your originality, you can become very successful. 

sun in the 6th house: one of your driving forces is your attachment to your work and your need to be of service for others and to be recognized for your efforts. health, dieting, exercise and keeping a structured routine are very important to you. you have a constant need to be perfect and that can be your own worst enemy, because when you or others aren't meeting your high standards, you might feel like you're weak and have your insecurities taking over you. you can't stand being told what to do. very self-aware. a tendency to be a workaholic because it's what makes you feel proud of yourself; you need to feel like you're making the world a better place. stress can easily physically affect you, you should understand that validation needs to come from yourself and not from others, and accept that having imperfections is human, it doesn't make you weak! careful with having a routine too restrictive that doesn't allow you to have fun, work can become an obsession for you. you truly always want more and need to keep busy and productive to feel safe. don't let your insecurities stop you from pursuing your ambitions. 

sun in the 7th house: you have a very strong sense of justice because of your capability of analyzing a problem from all different perspectives. you need to bring peace everywhere you go and to help others in any way you can. you have a special charm that others feel drawn to, and many admire you for your caring nature and talent at giving advice, making you often the center of attention in the middle of groups. sociable and good with words, you're very persuasive; although you might tend to identify yourself too much with what others think of you – you should understand that others' opinions aren't that important and it's how you view yourself that matters. you crave affection and are very sensitive when it comes to your relationships, you would do anything for your loved ones and you're very in tune with their needs. you can have people-pleasing tendencies because you're terrified of rejection. you're determined to succeed and to build an amazing self-image because you have a gift when it comes to social intelligence. can have some open enemies.

sun in the 8th house: can attract a chaotic life that pushes you into achieving transformations because that's how you grow and evolve, through the process of death and rebirth. you can't deal with superficiality and you crave deep connections with people, intimacy and to evolve with the person you love. creative. you may feel like the universe sends you messages so that you'll reach an awareness of some kind. you love experiencing new things and especially with yourself, you constantly look forward to changing your appearance and your spiritual or emotional views on the world. you feel a need for self-improvement. very secretive, you value privacy more than anything and you don't allow almost anyone to figure you out. you might be terrified of not finding people who want to connect with you as deeply as you want with them. tendency to isolate yourself emotionally, as in you might open up to others about superficial matters but when it comes to emotions, you're terrified of showing that part of yourself. you want to help others through their darkest times. 

sun in the 9th house: you love learning and dream of exploring the world, it's like you can absorb any information that you get your hands on. very idealistic and dreamy, it's hard for you to keep grounded on reality and material things when you're so concerned with the metaphysical, to understanding the secrets of the universe and all that is spiritual, philosophical, religious and transcendental. so enthusiastic and curious, it's like you can't stay still for a minute and long to go on adventures. you can see the best in people, but be careful with only seeing their good parts – you need to understand that nothing is black or white and people are morally grey and complex, not all bad nor all good. might be very pessimistic if you've gone through something traumatic that completely shattered your perceptions of the good in the world; you might feel like things are never going to get better (i promise they are). very proud of your knowledge. high ideals and honesty. loyal to your beliefs always. careful with being too authoritative. 

sun in the 10th house: when the planet of the ego falls in the house of social status, you seek power above all. you want fame, notoriety and to lead, and when not achieving what you want, you might become insecure. you can't help that ambition runs in your blood, but you should make sure you're doing things because you love doing them and not just to get recognized. it's like you need to achieve so that you can feel proud of yourself because you never felt that kind of support when you were younger, and achieving success feels like a life or death matter to you. you ooze charisma and you naturally draw attention to yourself, wanting to be recognized for your talents. very aware of how others perceive you. but even if you're a great leader, you hate following orders which can make you have problems with those in charge – be careful with making enemies and with stepping on others to get what you want, it’s very important that you keep a strong sense of morals or else you can grow to be arrogant and tyrannical. at your worst you can start abusing your power; at your best, you can use it to better the lives of all those around you like a true leader.

sun in the 11th house: here, the planet of ego is in the house of friendships, hopes, inventions and the collective, making you shine when you're able to help others. your friends are the most important thing for you, but be careful with identifying too much with them. you carry yourself with so much confidence, you're so full of life and with a love for learning and giving to others. eccentric personality and big dreams. you want to stand for a cause that matters to you alongside others who you love. others gravitate towards your magnetism, individuality and friendly nature, naturally looking up to you as a leader. if you happen to have been betrayed in the past, you might shut yourself completely from friendships due to a fear of trusting the wrong person again, but please don't deny yourself your need to socialize and to express your revolutionary ideas to others because you truly shine when you're around those who you trust and help you grow. 

sun in the 12th house: you might have a very hard time understanding who you are and your identity, and because of this sense of unclarity about yourself + your intuitive and empathetic nature where you absorb others' energies like a sponge and need a lot of solitude to recharge yourself, you might feel like you need to keep a mask in public, to play a character to feel safe interacting with others. plus, it doesn't help that you have perfectionist tendencies and hate failing and making mistakes. there's a tendency to feel very insecure and misunderstood, and to feel melancholic and with turbulent emotions, so you should be gentler with yourself and allow yourself to express your sensitivities, the way you're so compassionate and giving. because even if you need time to recharge for introspection, you shine when you can help others. be careful with developing self-destructive behaviors. artistic tendencies because of the depth of your emotions and inner world. you can be truly wise and others might see you as an "old soul" because of that. you might be a night owl. psychic potential. 

[animatorweirdo]

Imagine being there to witness everything and watching your beloved die

(Well, this is almost an series forth headcanon. I do love some angst in stories, but this one was sad one to write, so be aware of the warnings)

Requested by anonymous

Warnings; ANGST, violence, goes a lot with the canon, doomed love and doing nothing to save the day. Angst level cruesome. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

- You know how the story goes. You loved every Tolkien’s work, the most favorite being the lord of the rings and the hobbits. However, you did not expect to get thrown into the same world at the point where it all began. 

-You have read Silmarillion and know its deep history, so you know how it all went. You did not know how to react because the first age was all about war and bloodshed over three jewels everyone was obsessed with having. 

-Meeting the valars and the infamous elves was something, so those parts were exciting, at least. 

-Most of the time, when someone gets suddenly transported to another world. It was either mysterious or reincarnation, like in every fanfic and novel you managed to cross.

-Surprisingly, you had a purpose in Arda. 

-There was a voice who asked you to record history firsthand, then you woke up in the gardens of Lorien with an empty book in your hands. 

-The valars were uncertain when you spoke about your situation to them. You were a human and appeared out of nowhere. They did conclude the mysterious voice who brought you to Arda was Eru himself. 

-They believed your story, but since humans were not supposed to awaken yet. They made you wear enchanted earrings that helped you to appear as an elf to the firstborn. 

-They then gave you a tour around Aman and allowed you to walk freely. 

-It was exciting because you had the chance to meet all the famous elves from the books like Galadriel, Fingon, and Finrod. Well, the whole Finwean house itself. You even bore witness to the family drama between Fingolfin and Feanor himself. 

-Feanor was scary as hell. He always looked like he always had a scowl on his face and appeared as Noldor prince should, but surprisingly he was pretty chill when you went to meet him with a Vanyar noble, who also acted like your guide. 

-He was respectful and welcoming, which was a surprise when you know what he would later do for his most prized creations. You used to think of him as a bit self-centered and arrogant for a character, so it was a lovely surprise that he might have been an average person until the grief and loss of the silmarils got him. 

-However, the scowl always returned when any of his half side of the family was around. You did not know why, but it was funny to watch. It was like their existence was a war crime against his life. 

-You didn’t have much to do in the beginning and had no idea what to write since you knew what would happen in the future. You chose not to write anything about the future because you didn’t want to change the course of the story. Even the tiniest change could change the story drastically, so you desired to avoid that. 

-Living as an elf was fun for a while, but it got boring pretty quickly. 

-You sometimes wrote things you saw in events, but sometimes you simply wrote stuff like you saw a squirrel one day. 

-The elves were also too refined and collected. You missed human things like wild parties and shenanigans without too many rules. 

-Maybe you were too human for an elf. 

-Also, your earrings were itchy as hell. You have several times almost removed them in front of elves till you remember you’re not an elf, which was troublesome because you were not used to wearing earrings 24/7. 

-It almost happened again when you were chilling in a local garden, and your ears itched like lice. You tried to make sure no one was around and tried to scratch the spot until someone suddenly appeared out of thin air, scaring the soul out of you. 

-It was awkward, and the special someone was the red-haired prince Maedhros or Nelyafinwe Maitimo since Maedhros was his sindaring name. 

-He smiled in embarrassment and apologized for the scare. You were scratching your ears quite aggressively, and he heard you curse like a sailor, so he was curious if you were alright.

-You quickly assured him everything was alright and told him you just had itchy ears. 

-To your surprise, he was fully aware of who you were from a party you once attended with the Vanyar. You looked nothing like the golden-haired people, so he was curious to meet you. 

-You told him your made-up background as an elf, then the conversation flowed from there like a breeze. 

-He was super sweet and knew how to keep the conversation going. 

-You know how to talk with people, but you felt shy around him and couldn't help but just listen while he spoke. 

-You almost couldn't believe this tall redhead was this innocent and kind before all the atrocities his house would later commit for the sake of the oath. 

-You thought it was going to be one time encounter, and he kind of gave you a nickname, the itchy-eared maiden. It was an embarrassing nickname. 

-However, you started meeting up much more and hanging out like two casual friends. 

-You learned a lot about his family and brought you to meet some, especially Fingon, who was super friendly. 

-You liked hanging out and going out with him, but then you realized something. You had an actual crush on this elf. 

-Sure, you might have simped for some fictional characters in life, but since you were actually in Arda and got to know him as a person. You knew it was real. 

-It was wrong since you know how the story goes, and you promised not to tamper with it by including yourself, but you couldn't help but feel conflicted since Maedhros continued being sweet, and you just adored that aspect of him since he was like that with everyone. 

-You hoped it was temporal, so you decided to have a little break and excuse you were busy with other things. 

-Maedhros was understanding when you said you had some business and wished you well till you see each other again. You felt bad because you were technically avoiding him. You did not want to lie, but you had to. You can’t utterly fall in love with him. Even though; you most likely already have. 

-He just made it worse by telling you you could count on him if you had troubles with your business. 

-You left quickly, trying to think through your feelings for him. 

-You stopped at Alqualonde, and some of your friends there didn’t make it easy when you revealed your feelings for someone. They kept encouraging you. 

-Your crush calmed down a little because you told yourself that he might think of you as a good friend, not a possible lover. 

-However, he didn’t make it easy when he started sending letters to you, asking how you were doing and keeping you updated on his family drama. It was falling hard for feelings all over again. 

-You were stupidly in love with him. It turned out to be a grave mistake because you realized too late that the events of the Silmarillion were taking place. 

-You agreed to meet with Maedhros one day and catch up. You dumbed on a strange tall man, and when you saw him, you almost froze. 

-You had seen a lot of descriptions and fan art about the dark valar, but seeing him with your own two eyes was something else. 

-Melkor was tall and eerily beautiful in his way, but the way he spoke left you to have goosebumps. And you almost shivered because he looked like he knew something was strange about you, especially when he asked about your book. 

-Luckily, Maedhros came to the rescue and helped you leave the conversation and leave the dark Vala's sight. 

-You panicked when Maedhros told you Melkor had been free for a while, which meant the story had started.

-It took all your willpower to have a panic attack. Things were about to go down, and you didn’t take notice because you were too busy living your life in this world. 

-Maedhros sensed your distress and comforted you. He thought you were afraid of Melkor, so he tried to assure things were okay. You appreciated the effort. But you were not certain about accepting his affection when you knew what was coming. 

-You watched from the side when things started to go down. The family drama in the house of Finwe became dire, and you were there when Feanor threatened Fingolfin with a sword. 

-Maedhros tried to offer his comfort from time to time, but his family got banished for a while, and the pressure almost became too hard to handle since he stopped sending letters. 

-You returned to Alqualonde, trying to calm your nerves. You even begged Eru to send you back to your world because you didn’t want to witness what was coming.

-You wrote everything in the book, but it didn’t ease the ache and fear for the future. 

-You went for a walk one night to calm down your nerves and admire the stars. It helped for a moment until everything went dark. 

-It was pitch black, and you couldn’t see anything. Luckily, the stars showed enough light then the realization hit you. It's the darkening of the trees. 

-You were alone, so it was terrifying, especially when you saw the giant spider and Melkor with the silmarils in his hands. It was like a force struck you down because you couldn't move when you saw them. 

-Luckily, they didn’t notice you, so you were left unscathed. You couldn't say much about Finwe thought. 

-The fear left you frozen for a while, but you managed to get yourself free and return to Alqualonde. 

-However, what you saw next were fire and blood. 

-Maedhros stood among the fire, blade in his hands, coated with blood. You recognized many faces that lay around him, dead. 

-You felt like deer in headlights because you got frozen with shock. You have never seen death before, so your body wasn’t reacting well. 

-Maedhros tried to catch your attention, trying to make an excuse, but when he took hold of your arm. You panicked and started struggling in fear. You pushed his face away with the blood of his victims and ran away when you got free. You ignored his calls and just ran. 

-The aftermaths weren’t pretty. You remained hidden with a couple of Teleri and helped them when things calmed down.

-There were so many dead. You felt awful because some were your friends and neighbors. They never did anything wrong, so they didn’t deserve it. 

-Fingon found you mourning in the street. You told him about Maedhros, and he felt awful because he and his father helped the feanorians with the conflict. He almost broke down because you lived in the city and most of the Teleri were your friends. 

-You didn’t honestly blame him because you knew what would happen next. Fingon was at least kind enough to help you bury your telerin friends. 

-Even though; you shouldn't have. You decided to join the journey through Helcaraxe after burning the ships. The event didn’t surprise you, but you did wonder what Maedhros thought as he watched his family burn the stolen ships. 

-The journey through the icy wasteland was brutal, more horrific than in the books. 

-You watched as Turgon’s wife died, leaving him with their only child. You watched as the elves struggled and died from the cold, and they couldn't do anything to avoid it than curse Feanor and his sons. 

-You tried to hold on to good memories with Maedhros, but it wasn’t easy. 

-You took time to rest and record everything when you finally reached Middle earth. The sun was finally born, so you embraced the day. 

-Fingolfin’s people were tired and pissed with the feanorians. You couldn't blame them. You were angry and hungry as hell. 

-You weren’t surprised when they told Maedhros had been captured. It was going to happen, but it didn’t stop you worry about him because Angband was an evil place. You didn’t want to imagine the tortures he would suffer. 

-You gave Fingon a hint when you caught him sneaking out to save Maedhros. It wasn’t too revealing. You said you just made some investigation about Angband. 

-Fingon was grateful and returned with Maedhros upon the great eagle. 

-You avoided confrontation until you got worried about him when he received backlash for giving up the crown and being a former thrall. 

-He looked broken, so you mustered the courage to talk to him. 

-Maedhros didn’t look you in the eye when you arrived. He only asked why you followed. You saw what he did to your home. 

-You did not know the answer. Your task was to record the history that was about to happen, but at this moment, you were just worried. 

-His eyes were filled with guilt when he turned to look at you. It broke your heart to see that, so you just stayed with him, offering comfort and company like all those years ago. 

-You didn’t see each other often. Maedhros was busy with his duties, and you continued writing down everything in the book. 

-You would spend time together, drinking and talking. 

-You kept him informed and sometimes used dry humor to describe how cruel and stupid his father was to abandon a loyal addition to the army just to spite his half-brother for one final time. 

-Maedhros allowed you to talk like that because he agreed and felt even more guilty when you told everything that happened in Helcaraxe. 

-You sometimes helped him with his hair since he had trouble with one hand. It was to help him relax, and you enjoyed the calm silence it would bring. 

-Maedhros was hardened, but he was still that sweet elf you met in the garden all those years ago, and your still existent feelings didn’t make your situation easy. 

-You tried to avoid your feelings, pushing yourself to be an unimportant character who technically doesn’t exist to anyone. 

-However, you noticed some things about Maedhros. 

-He was more gentle with you than anyone else and didn’t refuse anything when you asked him for little favors. Fingon does it too, and he was the high king.

-He said he didn’t have the right to refuse anything from you after what happened. When he wronged the Teleri, he wronged you, so he was willing to do anything you wanted. 

-You would have thought it was sweet, but it was just sad because the Teleri deserved the compensation, not you. 

-Things didn’t look up when the battle of the unnumbered tears finally happened, and you lost Fingon. 

-You can still remember the moment when you hugged him one last time before the battle because you knew it would be his last.  

-You wished you could have done something because the pain was unbearable when Maedhros brought back his mangled body. 

-You wished you could have done something, but you didn’t want to change the timeline. It would have been too dangerous and unpredictable. 

-Maedhros turned for the worse, and you tried to support him, but it wasn’t enough. 

-You wished you could have interfered and stopped him from making the worse mistakes, but you kept telling yourself you couldn't because it was not in your right to change anything.

-You watched as he killed more elves for his damned oath and everything just went wrong.

-You stopped talking for a while because you focused on trying to help raise Erenion because he was the last thing you two had from Fingon. 

-Maedhros sometimes sent letters, asking how you two were doing and if someone was causing you trouble. Nothing else. 

-You tried asking yourself why you kept forgiving and seeing him, knowing his fate was near. Maybe because of your feelings. Because you still loved him and hoped there might be an alternative ending.

-The day finally arrived, and you met little Elrond and Elros. 

-They looked innocent, and you never imagined meeting the lord of Rivendel when he was just a little child. Pure yet subjected to violence at such a young age. 

-You already knew the explanation Maedhros and Maglor were going to give you, so you just tried to welcome the little twins with open arms. 

-It was peaceful for a while. The twins warmed up to you quickly and enjoyed all the stories you had to offer. They were just the sweetest beings in the world. 

-You and Maedhros barely talked at first, but he slowly opened up and apologized for failing everything. You wanted to forgive him but couldn't. 

-You and Maedhros sometimes stayed all night, admiring the stars and drinking something warm with blankets. You two sometimes talked about better things that could have happened. 

-It was peaceful, and your little group started to feel like a family. You hoped things would have turned out well in the end, but they didn’t. 

-Maedhros and Maglor decided to give the twins to you and go for the last silmarils. You knew begging would do nothing, but you asked Maedhros to consider and not leave you.

-He looked at your tear-struck eyes, stepping closer to cup your face as you both looked into each other’s eyes for the last time with sadness and guilt. 

-He whispered words in forbidden Quenya and apologized one last time because he would not be able to fulfill your wish this time before placing a gentle kiss upon your forehead. 

-He then left. 

-You watched as he stole the silmaril and jumped into the fiery pits of the earth. You watched as Maglor threw the silmaril into the sea and vanished to forever lament the wrongdoings of their house in regret. 

-You were glad for them since the oath was finally gone, but it didn’t heal the pain of knowing you could have done something, yet you did nothing to spare them from this fate. 

-You sat upon the cliff, gazing into the ocean as the book lay on your lap. The first age was over, so you were finished. You begged the voice to let you go home, but no answer came from heaven. 

-You finally broke after hundreds of years. 

-Years of watching from the sides and watching the one you love kill himself finally got to you. You got left with nothing but a task you did not want in the first place and earrings so you could appear as a fake elf. You did not belong in this world, so why couldn't you leave?

-You did not move until Elrond and Elros came looking for you. They sensed your distress like it was their own, but to their shock, you revealed your ears and told them the truth of your existence. 

-You expected them to hate you because that’s what you deserved. However, the two forgave you. Elrond asked you to live because you were all they had left, and it broke you because they were also all you had from Maedhros. 

-Your pain did not heal. You had difficulties finding joy, but you mustered the strength to continue because you couldn't bring yourself to leave Elrond and Elros. The two needed someone to support them, so you decided to be at least that to them. 

-You hated Eru for giving you this task as you found no reason to smile anymore. You hated yourself, and you had no power to change anything. Maedhros was gone, and you remained.

[finefiddleheaded]

Your English teachers were wrong!

Okay, so I was a college writing tutor and so many students I talked to were told (honestly wild) things by their grade school teachers. And it really fucked with them! I heard about all sorts of Rules set by grade school teachers, like "every paragraph should have five sentences in it and each sentence needs to be xyz" or "never use adverbs" or "never use semicolons." And it makes writing all about restriction and punishment and steamrolling nuance and UGH IT MAKES ME SO MAD.

You are absolutely allowed to use 'said'! It's just useful to understand its function.

'Said' is a word that tends to disappear when we read it. It's used often, like 'the' and 'is' and all sorts of other small structural words that your brain sort of filters (because it's seen them a million bazillion times and recognizes them on sight) to get the important words like 'Thomas' or 'zombie' or 'daffodil' and construct the meaning of the sentence.

But FOR FUN and VARIETY you can replace 'said' with a more "important" word that will have more meaning (and also slow the rate the at which the reader is reading which is a fun thing to play with.) For example, instead of "Frida said," you could say "Frida joked" or "Frida gasped."

BUT! The thing about using words like that is that they're seasoning. If you use too many at once, your "soup" becomes more about the massive amount of seasoning you've added than anything else. There are a lot more important questions. Like, if it tastes good. Or if the seasonings you choose work together. Or if it has any more filling ingredients in it. But on the flipside if you add no seasoning at all, then soup is gonna be bland. So basically your teachers told you seasoning is the most important part of the soup, and the only guidance they gave you was "more is better." Also "never use salt and pepper because it's preferable to never ever use it than to risk using too much and those are boring seasonings anyway."

When deciding how to structure dialogue, I find it useful to remember that dialogue tends to be read at a quicker rate than things like paragraphs of description. So a lot of what I'm doing with my decisions is more about controlling the flow than worrying about how many times I use 'said.' The reason why variety is important is that it will quickly feel choppy and bland if you structure each line of dialogue the same way.

Here is an example where I use a bunch of different strategies for delivering dialogue:

"What the hell is that?" Thomas shrieked, scrambling backwards.

Frida spun, waving at him in a frantic hushing motion. "Shhh! You're going to wake it up!"

Thomas froze, his heart pounding in his chest. "Okay... but what is it?"

There was a terrible pause.

"Thomas," Frida said, with an awkward, breathless little laugh, "Thomas, I really don't think you want me to answer that."

For that example, I picked how to write the non-dialogue parts based on how it controlled the rhythm, tension, and emphasis of the delivery. I added description of what characters were doing as they delivered a line of dialogue NOT ONLY to give information and center the reader in the action, but to give variety and to fluctuate the speed the reader runs through the dialogue.

Because it's a word that disappears a bit, using "said" multiple times on a page will not be noticed the same way it would if you repeated 'warbled' or 'shouted' or 'joked.' And it will be noticed even less if you change up where it is placed in the dialogue and how much information is delivered around and between each use.

Another example:

"It was right there," Thomas said. He pointed at the empty corridor, which now seemed perfectly, maddeningly innocent.

"Are you sure?" Frida was frowning.

"Frida," said Thomas, desperation creeping into his voice, "I know what I saw. It was right there."

Both of these examples were scenes where I wanted more tension. I'd employ different strategies and word decisions for a calm, reflective scene to make it feel calm and reflective to read.

So yeah! Rules like "don't use said" are wild and restrictive and just... not helpful AT ALL. Friends, if someone has taught you "don't use this ever" about something to do with writing it is because they have decided it would be easier for them to make you throw it away so they don't have to teach you to understand how to use it.

TLDR; Said is a really useful word. Use it however much or little as feels good and right and comfortable to you.

(And! One last tip. Read what you have written out loud to yourself. It is probably the single most useful thing you can do for determining what's not working and what is working in your flow and word choice.)

Ngl this might sound stupid but lets blame the learning disability but writing dialog is so fucking hard for me mentally i think mostly bc of english teachers nonstop saying i cant use the word said. I feel like that did not help me know wtf to do in that situation at all.

Like character voices and everything else is very fun to me its just thst 1 thing thst stresses me out for no reason still 😭

[dreamerstreamer]

Human GPS

Pairing: c!Technoblade x f!reader

Summary: [Dream SMP!AU] Technoblade really needs some books of mending, and you just happen to be the daughter of the village cleric.

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: this a repost of the first ever story i posted when i first made my blog. this story takes place back when technoblade was still allied with pogtopia. i hope you like it as much as i did! <3

Technoblade blinked, his eyes squinting up at the clear, cerulean sky. It was about midday now, and the beating sun sat in the center of the sky, almost taunting him from where it hung.

If the sun is directly above me, he thought, then west must be… He frowned. Somewhere. Maybe.

He groaned and swung his legs off of Carl, the horse letting out a soft whinny as he hopped onto the ground. He had been travelling for what must have been close to an hour now, and he still hadn’t found a village. It was almost like the universe was trying to waste his time. All he wanted was to get his hands on some books of mending so he didn’t have to worry about any of his armour breaking, yet the world was sending him on a wild goose chase, anyways.

“Seriously,” he muttered, irritation gnawing away at his already dwindling patience, “how hard can it be to find just one cleric? It’s not like I’m asking to find a woodland mansion, or something.”

Letting out yet another long groan, Technoblade flipped open the pack he attached to Carl’s saddle. He pulled out a baked potato and bit in, allowing himself a few seconds of relief as he ate.

For a brief moment, he considered digging through his bag to look for a compass or—better yet—a map. But then he remembered that just prior to leaving, he had reminded himself that he was a human GPS and that “Technoblade never fails.”

He sighed. No compass, it is.

He took another bite of the potato in his hands, looking around at the terrain around him. There was a lush birch forest to his left and a barren desert on the opposite side. Just a little to his right was a river and—

Wait a second.

Technoblade froze, his jaw freezing halfway through chewing another bite of potato.

He recognized that river.

A wide grin split across his lips.

He totally knew where to find a village.

Doing his best not to choke, Technoblade stuffed the rest of the baked potato in his mouth and buckled his pack shut. With a grunt, he pulled himself back onto Carl, picking up the reins. “Like I said, Carl, who even needs a compass? I’ve got the map memorized, and my inner compass is perfectly calibrated.”

Carl looked back at him and let out an almost sarcastic sounding neigh that seemed to say, “Sure.”

Technoblade’s face rolled his eyes. He snapped the reins once, and Carl charged forward.

The human GPS never failed.

You let out an ecstatic cry as you pushed the last book in your hands onto the creaky bookshelf, stepping back to look at your work in pride. You’d been organizing the library for a little over half the day now, and you were almost finished. Each shelf was now in alphabetical order.

Dusting off your skirt, you took one last glance at the shelves before settling down at the table in the corner of the room, looking over the to-do list you had set out for yourself the night before. “Let’s see,” you hummed to yourself, “I already dusted all the tabletops, mopped the floor, and delivered that order to Mr. Hart. Now I can check ‘organize bookshelves’ off the list, too.”

You set the quill down on the table. “Meanwhile, dad’s out trading with Mrs. Lee and said he would be back soon.” You stared down at the page for a moment longer before sighing. A frown etched itself onto your features. You leaned your elbows on the oak tabletop as your gaze trailed out the church window and up at the cloudless sky.

You had lived in the village your whole life with your father, the village cleric. Everything was peaceful and you loved the familiar environment you resided in, but things had also become so… boring in the village. So bland, so dull. You can’t even remember the last time you did something fun. Sure, you were productive and made sure to help your father around his workspace the best you could, but you wanted more than this.

Please, you thought to yourself, squeezing your eyes shut in a silent prayer. Please, please, please let something new and exciting happen. At least just once in my life.

All of a sudden, you heard a distant rumbling.

You sat up straight, blinking awake from your reverie. What’s that sound?

The rumbling grew louder, and you could now recognize it as the galloping of a horse. Your thoughts were only confirmed by the loud whinny you heard right after the rumbles stopped.

You pushed your chair back, standing up from the table and walking over to the front window, crouching down to peek outside. You squinted, your eyes scanning around outside before they landed on an unfamiliar shape.

Your heart suddenly barrelled over in your chest.

Sitting atop a horse wearing diamond armour in the center of the village square was a stranger.

His back was facing you, but from what you could see of him, the first thing you noticed was the crimson robe hanging off his shoulders, cascading down his back like a scarlet waterfall. An axe was strapped to his back, tinted with a murky, violet hue. His hair was a vibrant shade of cherry blossom pink like nothing you had ever laid eyes on before, and on his head sat a golden crown encrusted with glittering gems. You wondered what his face looked like, curiosity bubbling in your chest.

Just then, he slid off his horse, landing on the ground with a small thump. He stood tall and proud, turning his head this way and that as he looked around at the houses around him, an air of regality surrounding him.

Then, he turned.

Your eyes only met for a fraction of a second before you immediately ducked down, hiding your figure from view in the window. The moment you were out of sight, you stilled, doing your best not to give yourself away.

He was handsome.

His face was calm and demure, reflecting his royal air almost perfectly, and his eyes, like his robe, were a piercing crimson red. They almost seemed to stare into your soul, laying every part of yourself bare for him to see.

He looked like a king in every sense of the word, and you just had to meet him.

Your heart was thrumming wildly in your chest as you struggled to regain your breath. You peeked over the windowsill carefully, glancing past the glass outside once more. The stranger had tied his horse to a post in the square and was walking around, glancing at the villagers here and there. Most of them seemed to be slightly wary of him—after all, it wasn’t everyday a king showed up at your doorstep. He seemed to be looking for something with the way he kept looking around him, his eyes sweeping over every inch of the village. Perhaps you could help him.

Slowly, you slid away from the windowsill and carefully clicked open the front door, stepping outside. The sun shone brilliantly on your face as you made your way toward the stranger. Once again, his back was turned to you, and you stopped a few feet behind him. Taking a deep breath, you mustered up what courage you had before speaking.

“Hello.”

The man turned at the sudden sound of your voice, his scarlet eyes piercing into yours. “Oh, hello.” His voice was deep, laced with a low rasp that sent a shiver down your spine.

Your offered him a warm smile. “Welcome to our humble village. I’m [Y/N].” You extended your hand, and he took it in a friendly handshake, smiling back.

“The name’s Technoblade.”

Your eyebrows quirked. “Technoblade,” you repeated. “That’s a unique name.”

“Thanks,” he said, jokingly adding, “I got it for my birthday.”

You giggled at that. He may look regal and intimidating, but right off the bat, it seemed that his personality was far from it. “You know what they say, a bad joke is always the best way to leave a good first impression.”

He frowned, feigning sadness. “Oh, c’mon, it wasn’t that bad.”

Your lips twitched. “Well, I laughed at it, so I’ll give you that.” His face lit up once more, and you felt your stomach churn with warmth. “Well, what brings you here?”

He gestured to the pack he had clipped to his belt. “Just looking to do a few trades, really.”

You looked at him in confusion. “A king? Trading with commoners like us?”

He blinked for a moment. “Ah, about that, I’m not really a king, per se.” He plucked his crown from off his head, tossing it casually in his hands. “The crown and robes are more for… aesthetic purposes, to say the least. I don’t really rule over my own country or anything.

Your tilted your head at him. “Where do you come from, then? I can only imagine you travelled for a while to get here.”

He shrugged. “It was kind of far, but it wasn’t a big deal, really. I never got lost.”

You raised your eyebrows at him. “Never?” you said.

“Never,” he confirmed. His grinned smugly, your heart reeling at the sight. “I’m a human GPS, if you will.”

You stifled a laugh but couldn’t hide your smile. What a dork. “Totally.”

His grin only widened. “Anyways, I’m from this place called Pogtopia.” You must have made a face at his words, because he laughed at you and god, even his laugh was pretty. “Yeah, it’s kind of a funny name, isn’t it? Well, I didn’t come up with it. My friends Tommy and Wilbur did.”

“They must be…” You looked for a good word. “…interesting people.”

He laughed. “It’s okay—you’re allowed to say they have bad taste in names.”

You giggled, your cheeks flushing in slight embarrassment. “Okay, yeah, their taste is pretty poor.” You glanced at him. “Are they the kings of your country then, since they named it?”

“Kind of. I guess you could call them kings, but they’re more like self-instated presidents, even though that kind of defeats the whole purpose of having a president.” You nodded, following along in agreement. “They’re trying to win back some land they were exiled from a while back called L’Manberg, although it was recently renamed Manberg, but there’s also Dream and his SMP, and—” He sighed, running a hand through his rosy locks. “It’s complicated. Basically, we’re sort of in the middle of this war, and I just kind of got roped into it.”

Your eyes widened in alarm. “A war?! Surely we wouldn’t get involved, right?” Your village, like many others, was a pacifist group of people, having no source of defense or battle skills to protect yourselves with. If this supposed war came all the way to your little village, all of you would surely perish.

Technoblade raised his arms in front of him, quickly shaking his head. “Oh, definitely not. You’ve got nothing to worry about, I swear.”

You pressed a hand to your chest as you let out a breath of relief. “Oh, thank goodness.” Technoblade smiled at you from the corner of your eye, amusement lacing his lips. You suddenly straightened, another thought popping into your head. “What about you, then? Aren’t you worried?”

He laughed again, though it sounded more like a cackle. “Me? Worried? Nahhh.” He swung his axe off his back, being careful to point it away from you. “I may not look like it, but I’m actually one of the most feared warriors in the land. Tommy and Wilbur basically begged me to join their side so I can help them win.” He gestured to himself. “You don’t have to believe me, but I think it’s pretty clear to see I’m pretty much a god at PVP.”

You hummed, shaking your head. “No, I believe you. You do look like you could seriously teach someone a thing or two with that axe, but I really don’t think I need to feed your ego anymore.” You smiled bemusedly. “It already seems to be quite large on its own.”

His grin dropped. “Wait, please, feed my ego, I thrive off complime—”

A giggle escaped your mouth as you waved your hand at him. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Your expression grew a bit more serious. “But honestly, you’re not scared? Even a little?”

Technoblade shook his head. “Nope. A war is just a lot of fights lined up one after the other, and I’m great at winning fights. Heck, I could probably wipe out the other side in a heartbeat with what I’ve got in my arsenal. Tommy and Wilbur might just send me out by myself to do just that.”

“They would?” you said in disbelief. “Aren’t they worried for you, either?”

He snorted. “They were the ones who wanted me here to help them win, so they definitely aren’t worried.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. Well, that was no good—no good at all. Wasn’t a single person concerned for this man’s safety, not even just one? No matter how powerful he may be, this was a war you two were talking about, and wars don’t always go according to plan.

Suddenly, it hit you.

“I see,” you murmured. You raised your chin, resolve filling your veins. “Then I’ll worry for you.”

Technoblade stared at you for a long moment, stunned into silence. Panicking, you began to ramble. “You and your friends may have overwhelming confidence in you and your abilities,” you said, “but it’s still important that you recognize that sometimes things don’t go according to plan. That’s why you should worry, and if you won’t, then I’ll do it in your stead.”

When he still didn’t say anything after yet another moment, you felt embarrassment rise up in you. “I’m sorry, we just met and that was totally uncalled for of m—”

“No, no, really,” he abruptly said, shaking his head. “It’s all good. Seriously.” There was a slight pause. Then, he softly added, “Thank you. I appreciate your concern.”

His lips curled to form a smile, but this one was different from the ones he gave you before. Those ones were proud and teasing, full of mirth and some level of arrogance. But this one was softer, kinder. More genuine and real.

You liked this one more.

Still feeling slightly embarrassed from having just rambled about caring about a near stranger to his face, you quickly shifted gears. “W-Well, I should probably ask what exactly you wanted to trade for,” you said as your cheeks flushed pink. You lowered your gaze to the ground, trying to avert your eyes from his. “I can probably help you find whatever it is you need.”

Technoblade hummed. “I have a bunch of stuff with me that I can use to trade, but I’m looking for a cleric to get some mending books from.”

Your head shot up in recognition. “A cleric, you say?” Your lips curled into a small grin when he nodded. “I know just where to find him. Wait here for a minute, okay?”

As soon as he nodded his head once more, you had already taken off, bounding down the grassy path with your skirt trailing behind you. Technoblade’s gaze followed you as you rushed down the path, a pleasant warmth bubbling in the pit of stomach and he watched you run off.

Usually whenever he came to a village, the people he met were wary of him and hardly ever spoke more than the bare minimum to him. Most of them were intimidated by his appearance, others thrown off by his cockiness. And yet here you were, treating him like a friend when so many before you had done the exact opposite. You were kind, compassionate, and you saw more than just his arrogant exterior. You genuinely cared for the person he was underneath the crown and the robes. Not to mention, you were quite the sight for sore eyes.

Warmth blossomed in his chest and something fluttered in his stomach.

He was glad he came to this village.

To say your father was more than pleased to trade some books of mending for the stacks upon stacks of emeralds Technoblade had was an understatement.

“I thought you said you weren’t a king,” you said to him, your eyes nearly bulging out of your head when you saw him open his pack.

“I’m not,” Technoblade said, twirling an emerald between his fingers. “I just happen to be very wealthy.”

You shook your head at him, a smile gracing your lips. “You’re a maniac.”

He shot you a smug look. “Oh, don’t I know it.”

After he had traded for some mending books with your father, he had asked you if your village had a fletcher.

“Oh, I made a delivery to Mr. Hart earlier today,” you said. “Here, follow me.”

The trek to the other side of the village was short enough, and you were content to wait on the sides while Technoblade made some negotiations. Just then, Mrs. Lee spotted you and strode up to you.

“Good afternoon, [Y/N],” she greeted, her lips tilting into a familiar gentle smile.

“Hello, Mrs. Lee!” you chirped happily, turning to face her. “Thank you for the pumpkins, earlier today! I’ll be sure to give you some of the pumpkin pie I bake tomorrow.”

“Why, there’s no need for you to do that, dear.” She leaned close to your ear to whisper, “You know you’re my favourite of the youngins here.”

You blushed. “You know that’s not true.”

She held a finger to her lips. “It’s our little secret, alright?” She looked over your shoulder at Technoblade, who was still debating with Mr. Hart. “Looks like you’ve become acquainted with our visitor, haven’t you, dear?”

Your blush deepened. “Y-Yes! I have. His name is Technoblade and he comes from a country called Pogtopia. He traded for some books with my father just now.”

Mrs. Lee wrinkled her nose. “Weird name, the both of them, but never mind that.” She smirked at you, glancing just behind you. “He’s quite the looker, isn’t he?”

Your face exploded like a bright red tomato. “I-I, um, he’s. Um.” You took a deep breath and fanned your face, lowering your voice. “He’s handsome.”

Her smirk only grew larger. “I hope the two of you become even more acquainted then,” she said cryptically, patting your shoulder. “I’ll be on my way now, but do let me know how it goes, okay?”

You nodded dutifully, too embarrassed to say anything else. Mrs. Lee turned away and continued her way down the grassy path, smiling to herself.

If only you had seen the way he had looked at you.

Hours had passed since Technoblade had first arrived in the village, and the sun was just beginning to set. The two of you had visited just about every working person in the village, chatting away as Technoblade traded for whatever he needed from each person you two saw.

The two of you learned a lot about each other in the time you spent together. You learned that Technoblade wasn’t a huge fan of government and much preferred anarchy. He learned that you longed for something much more than your normal life in the village, but you had yet to discover what it was you wanted to do. You learned that he owned a dog named Floof. He learned the location of your favourite spot in the village. By the end of the day, it felt like you two had known each other for ages.

You secretly hoped that he would stay, but you knew that he couldn’t. The village wasn’t his home, after all.

You stood nearby as Technoblade strapped his pack back onto Carl’s saddle, chewing the inside of your lip. He climbed onto Carl, securing his axe on his back and picking up the reins in his hands. “Well, [Y/N],” he said, a hint of disappointment tinging his voice, “it looks like this is goodbye.”

“I guess so,” you murmured sadly, casting your gaze down at your feet. You had only known him for so long, but an overwhelming sense of loss filled you knowing that Technoblade was leaving and may very well never return. He was funny with his dry, dorky sense of humour and charming with his sharp grins and deep voice.

You weren’t sure you were quite ready to let go just yet.

“Um,” you spoke up, your voice cracking a little, “will you…” You peeked up at him, nervously biting the inside of your cheek as you fiddled with your fingers. “Will you ever come back?”

Something in Technoblade’s chest seized at the shy look on your face, your cheeks rosy and your gaze darting back and forth between his eyes and the ground. While he had originally only come in search of this village to trade with a cleric, he supposed he might always need more mending books in the future. Not to mention, he would also get to see you.

He smiled, letting out a soft laugh. “Yeah,” he said, “I’ll be back, so wait up for me, yeah?”

Your eyes lit up and an elated grin spread across your face. “I-I will!”

He chuckled at your giddiness, his own heart beating wildly against his rib cage. “Good.”

Sharing one last look with you, he snapped his reins and held on tight as Carl dashed forward, his gaze trailing behind him as he watched you wave your arms frantically at him. He couldn’t help but crack a smile at your enthusiasm, raising his arm to wave back at you himself. He kept waving until he could no longer see you, and only then did he face forward to find his way home.

The journey back was significantly shorter than the trip to the village, and before he knew it, he was tying Carl to his usual fence post. He was a human GPS, after all. How else would he have found the village—and you—with so much ease?

He tilted his head up, looking up at the rising moon in the east. Now he knew that the village (and you, his heart helpfully supplied once more) lay to the west, just beyond the birch forest, desert, and river. Above him, he could make out the shapes of a handful of constellations, the stars twinkling and winking down at him from space. He wondered if you were looking up at the same starry sky as him. He wondered if your stomach was full of butterflies, too.

“So,” he mused to himself aloud, his heart thump-thump-thumping in his chest, “[Y/N], huh?”

He was definitely going back.