#but i also won't lie about the fact that things will get better and have gone better
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Why I Resonate With Ninjago So Much As a Trans Person
Contains spoilers
So Lego Ninjago. Honestly, the whole show is about accepting yourself and accepting others for their differences. Which is why as someone who's a trans person I resonate so much with it. I'm also an overthinker and a weirdo who spends time doing stuff like this!
First let's start off with Zane. He find out he's a robot, or nindroid, as Jay says, early on in the series and has a difficult time accepting that. When the ninja (Jay, Cole, Kai) find out, they accept him pretty easily. Even though they accept his differences he has a difficult time accepting himself, refusing to believe it at first actually. This is something that trans people and I struggle with. Even though we're accepted by everyone else we can't accept ourselves. Most trans people most likely went through a phase where they refused to believe that they were trans. Which is why when I rewatched the series and I saw this episode I felt connected to it. Later on in the episode he accepts who he really is, and actually hides it a lot less often. In fact, after season 3 (which we won't talk about today...) he rebuilds himself and looks a lot more robotic.
The way he rebuild himself makes him look a lot more like a robot, or in his case, a nindroid. (I'm just gonna call him a nindroid for the rest of this) He is also rather proud of being a nindroid. This is a journey of self acceptance that a lot of trans people and I can connect with. We often start out in disbelief and in denial of being trans. However, after we come to terms with our identity, we express ourselves the way we want. We're proud and aren't too bothered about it anymore.
Now Jay and Nya. I'm gonna talk about them both at the same time since they go together pretty closely and also cause they're a really cute couple. (We don't talk about Dragons Rising season 2 part 2...)
Anyways, they both deal with the same thing. Hiding who you are so people can have a different view on you.
For Jay, he changed himself to look better in front on Nya when he first started to love her. He also had to hide the fact that he some of the venom in his veins so she doesn't view him differently. Most trans people and relate to this feeling. Hiding yourself to look different in front of someone. You don't want to be viewed differently so you don't mention your identity at all. Of course, later in in the episode, Nya finds out that he got the venom in him and is slowly turning into a snake and tells him and he doesn't have to lie about who he is. This is something that also happens to some trans people. People find out that they've been hiding themselves. Some will react negatively and some will be like a Nya!
Speaking of Nya, it's her turn! She was Samurai X the whole time. She hid that fact because she didn't want to be viewed differently by her friends, brother, and everyone else. Again, similar to Jay, a lot of trans people hide who they really are so they don't get viewed as differently. Now, when they find out, they're all surprised and make a promised to not hide anything else from eachother.
While we're at it, I also want to mention P.I.X.A.L (I'll just call Pixal for the duration of this) had a very similar thing with her journey of being Samurai X. Hiding who she was so she want viewed differently. She's also a nindroid like Zane which shows the acceptance of the ninja team of different types of people. (Nindroids are people, right?) This acceptance really connected with me as a trans person. The way they show acceptance to each other no matter what is amazing and touching to me. They even were rather accepting of Cole being of ghost.
Speaking of Cole, I'm now gonna talk about the infamous coming out episode. Okay, its not really a coming out episode but depending on the way you take it, it can. Let me explain.
The whole just of the episode is showing how Cole isn't what his father wants him to be. His father wanted him to be a singer and dancer. However, Cole didn't want to take that career choice and became a ninja instead. He lied to his father about going to a performing arts school and tried to continue the lie when he was visiting him. Of course, the truth comes out later on whole the ninja (Kai, Jay, Zane, Cole) are backstage and are discussing stealing the Blade Cup (it's one of the fangblades that they need to stop Pythor, the main villain) When Cole explains how he's a ninja his father refuses to accept him. Of course after the big performance and winning his father finally sees that maybe it will be good for Cole to be a ninja. He accepts his son's decisions and happy ending yay fireworks pew pew pew.
Now doesn't this sound like a coming out experience? Hiding who you truly are out of fear that your parents/guardian will judge you? Yeah it definitely does. I believe the episode is the perfect allegory for a coming out experience. Whether it was intentional or not, it definitely was the perfect allegory. Which is why i connect to the episode so much. I'm sure many others can. We're afraid of not being accepted so we hide who we are. Now whether or not you'll be accepted or not when the truth eventually comes out is different for everyone. Some will be accepted and some won't. Which is why I believe this episode shows how it feels like to not be accepted by the person you should trust the most, your parents/guardian. Which is why this episode I can connect to as a trans person. I'm sure many other can too.
I also want to touch on ghost Cole. The change was very difficult to accept for Cole and everyone else since he's a whole different species! However, they still accepted him and treated him like Cole. Similar to Zane, when he accepts himself, he's rather proud of it. When he learns how to control his body and his new powers he's rather appreciative of being a ghost. Again, same thing, trans people have difficulty accepting themselves most of the time. However, when they accept themselves, they're proud.
Also I feel like I should mention this here but I won't be looking into the gay Cole theory today. That's for a different day. XD
Now I want to talk about Sally. She plays a big role in season 15 episode 10. Her main thing was running away from home to play her songs in Ninjago City. She later on regrets her actions and want so go back, but can't in fear that her parents will be upset at her for destroying their van and attempting to run away. Later on in the episode, Zane reminds her that her parents love her very much and will probably be relieved that she decided to come home. She ultimately decided to go home and when she arrives her parents are relived. Zane also turned on his emotion meter but that's besides the point.
This episode can be taken as another allegory for coming out. She runs away from her come so she can pursue her dream that she's afraid that her parents won't approve on. I know some trans people run away from their parents, guardians, friends, or people in general, cause they're afraid that they won't accept them. When Sally arrives home, her parents are relieved and glad she's home. Some trans people decide to go back and the people/person they ran away from accept them. I know this ain't the case for all trans people sadly, however, in the allegory in this episode, it is the case.
I'd also like to mention that I think she's canonically part of the LGBTQ+ community since the progress pride flag appears on her guitar and ln the back of her dad's van. Just thought that was cool.
I'm sure there are plenty of more instances of self acceptance and acceptance of other but I find that these ones I feel the most connected to. Ninjago is filled with it, which is why, as a trans person, I really resonate with this show. It really holds a special place in my heart.
I'd also like to mention that this can apply to the LGBTQ+ community in general, not just trans people. The whole community deals with self acceptance and acceptance of others. I also make a lot of generalizations about trans people, not all trans people are the same. They all have different experiences.
Anyways, I need to stop overthinking over LEGO Ninja. I think this is my hyperfixation of the year. I also might make a Ninjago edit today if I feel good. Apologies to everyone who followed me for Project Sekai and Bandori. I'll make a Bandori edit after that Ninjago edit I swear.
#ninjago cole#ninjago zane#ninjago#ninjago jay#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago nya#jay walker#zane julien#nya smith#cole brookstone#elemental master#Sally#Sally Ninjago#Trans#Transmasc#lgbtq positivity#lgbt pride#lgbtq#long reads#long post#Zane#Jay#Cole#Nya#ninjago pixal#p.i.x.a.l#pixal borg#zane x pixal#jay x nya#Pink Zane
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OKAY. so you know about me going to my dream uni and major right???? the problem is. in high school, at least in my country, we are all already divided into to specific studies, science math and social studies. so if you’re studying social studies, that’s all you’ll learn for three years, no science whatsoever. the problem is, i was in social studies then i suddenly wanted to be a scientist and change studies to science math which i have zero knowledge of it…
ITS A BOLD MOVE TRUST ME I KNOW but i jst cant see myself going through social studies major and have a career in one… i wanted to be a scientist. i worked hard to get in, and im in my dream major now. that’s what i wanted.
the only problem is that i’m afraid, you know? im the only one who has zero knowledge of science and math among my peers and im just… scared. obv i have already think through of all the risk and sacrifices whilst making this major decision, im fully aware that i have to study harder and basically learn everything from literal ZERO and i don’t mind, in fact, im excited.
despite all of that, still doesnt change the fact that im scared. what if i cant do it? what if it all will end up in vain? what if all of my sacrifices turned out to be useless? :(
thank you so much for listening to my rant, al.
oh chu :(( it's okay to feel that way, your feelings are completely valid and understandable. will it make you feel better if i say i've had somewhat similar experiences? it happened to me when i first chose law as my major, so i can somewhat guess what it must be like.
i didn't change my course of study like you did, of course. which is very, very, VERY impressive and was super courageous of you by the way. being in an unfamiliar environment is scary, it's true. the nervousness or anxiety you're feeling is also absolutely normal chu, given the significant transition you're facing and all. it's a big thing.
also, i want you to understand that you haven't done anything wrong or chosen the wrong major or made the wrong decision or anything like that
it's going to be hard at first, that much is guaranteed with your background being different from the rest, but it's not your fault and i don't want you beating yourself up over that. i guarantee you as someone with similar experiences, it will get better. i once read something that said something along the lines of "not treating yourself as a failure when/if your future is delayed by circumstances that aren't in your hands" and i think it might resonate with you
your peers are there to help you, and so are your professors — the university wants you to succeed. there will be resources you can research, friends that will assist you and professors that will answer any queries you have. you're ready to put in more work and do your research, that's all that counts. you're putting in effort and you're trying, some don't even do that and im very proud of you for taking this leap. i hope you'll try and see you're as brilliant as i see you
trust yourself, you've got this. i believe in you. just take it one step at a time, make sure to take breaks so to not overwork or burn yourself out and don't hesitate to reach out for support ANY time you need it. you'll do wonderfully.
#the initial stages are you to be hard i won't lie to you#but i also won't lie about the fact that things will get better and have gone better#you have a brilliant mind‚ chu. i see that. i see YOU !!!#talk to me whenever it gets too overwhelming#i won't turn you away i promise#and if things are going too fast‚ ask your professors to slow down their teaching pace#you're dedicated and most of the times that's what gets you through life. no matter whatever hurdles are in the way#all the hardworking people i've seen have pushed through with their problems#and known*#but that also doesn't mean they haven't gotten tired and felt unsure#that's when your friends and families and people you cherish come in — to support you#sorry im yapping but#what i mean to say is#you're working hard‚ and you're going to work hard#you're also going to face some problems along the way. like now for example#but you will have people supporting you#you're not alone. you will never be alone#yeah ahaha this got pretty long#but love you chu ♡♡ take care of yourself#—asks.al#—moots.al
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College is good for several things. In the USA, it's good for learning facts about history and the rest of the world that high school either didn't tell you or flat-out lied about. Without college, most people would never encounter the academic resources necessary to unlearn lies and biases instilled by the overwhelmingly USA-centric, whitewashed viewpoint taught in most school systems, or the vocabulary needed to ask after those resources.
If (and only if) you are already extroverted and gregarious, college is good for making friends. It's probably good for some other things too.
But college is not very good for many of the things it supposedly does for people. College appears to be good for personal growth, but any environment with unfamiliar people, new experiences, and a large library would do. In fact, the academic rigors of college are probably mostly incidental to personal growth that occurs there. You learn about yourself in college in spite of, not because of, the rigid and demanding academic expectations, which serve to cement you further in what you think you already know about yourself because that is safer than discovering you might be something totally different.
It also doesn't prepare you very well for any other environment, because it is so different from any other environment you might encounter. At least in the USA, there are hardly any communities that are similar to college. College has an environment of communal living among mostly same-aged people, numerous public spaces, an endless hemorrhage of community-run events, and constant mother-henning by the institution as they encourage you to take advantage of all the services they fail to do a good job at providing. Authority figures are clearly delineated from peers and you have a clear hierarchical relationship with people that are not also students. It is an opportunity to practice adulthood, but one that supports you in the wrong ways and fails to support you in the right ones, both stifling and neglectful.
Colleges are brutally insistent on this peculiar style of community structure that you probably won't ever encounter again in your life, all the while being incredibly unforgiving if you fail to adapt to it. There are lots of rules, some of which are plain-attired descriptions of consequences as real as a granite wall, most of which reflect nothing except the fact that someone in authority would like to prevent a specific type of bad-faith exploitation of a more forgiving policy. The pure-hearted student is supposed to be able to ignore these rules and be judged according to the unspoken, more forgiving policy that is invoked when an authority likes your vibes.
This means part of surviving college is cultivating the right vibes, and part of cultivating the right vibes is being abled and not experiencing any extenuating circumstances ever. If you are having a mental health crisis that is stopping you from succeeding, the truth is as good as a lie; of course everyone struggles with mental health in college in these specific pre-cut ways, have you tried breathing exercises? If you are stressed and terrified all the time and whenever you sit still it feels like the universe is screaming through you, you will be abandoned because crisis is rare and interrupts otherwise normal life, and everyone claims to be having a crisis right now. "This system works!" and if we just repeat it hard enough the system will start to work.
If the truth is as good as a lie, then a lie is as good as the truth, and the ability to receive help when you need it is determined not by actually needing help but by being a better liar.
What if people lie to get accommodations they don't really need? I don't know the answer to this, because I find a different question more compelling: What if people lie to get accommodations they do really need?
Institutions are terrified of the possibility of a person that pretends to be disabled, and often they impress that terror into disabled people, who become terrified that THEY are pretending to be disabled, when probably almost all disabled people must pretend to be disabled because the raw Reality of what they experience as a person would be a brain-melting arcane and eldritch encounter for an Institution. Institutions don't see us. They see broad human tropes, masks worn by any number of actors. Some people are diligent students and some are lazy; some hone their potential and talent and others refuse, for whatever reason, to unlock it. This belief is so fundamental to our entire philosophy of shaping and educating students that if it directly encountered the Truth (whatever that may be), the truth would not survive.
If you want to be a good student (and I wanted to be and I was) the mask will become welded to your face and you will forget it's a mask partly because you will like how much better you were treated with the mask on. I sit in a therapy session, thinking, "Why am I framing my pain in a way that makes it seem less complicated and more solvable but doesn't cut to the truth of the matter? Which one of us benefits from that?"
The world is slowly, woundedly crawling into being a performance where everyone competes to pretend that they aren't dying. I have a version of me that struggles with school because I am autistic, but secretly I suspect successful, well-adjusted college students that manage their mental health and friendships and work do not exist in the way we think they must. After all, what of the numerous college students that cheat, that plagiarize, that make ChatGPT write their essays? My professors can all give examples of students that did, and their poor and shoddy attempts, but all this suggests is that the clever and cunning ones seldom get caught. In dealing with institutions, anything an honest person can do through their honesty, a good enough liar can do better with their lies.
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can i disagree with some of this fandom's perception of tom riddle? surely he won't be a sweetheart like lorenzo, but...
┊ i also don't think that he'd be so intentionally rude, so cold towards his significant other. i honestly think that if tom ever becomes infatuated with someone, he would take pride into getting this someone to belong to him. willingly! 🌷
౨ৎ i guess i'll never know the reason why you ♡ ͡
love me like you do; that's the wonder of you . . .
... tom riddle is a smart man, you see. love, romantic feelings, to act like a couple and all of those things— these might be the most confused that tom riddle will ever be, because otherwise, he's an extremely competent, capable young man.
tom riddle does get confused, a little lost on what to do; he'd torture himself by discreetly watching couples at hogwarts interacting, maybe make some research (= read novels. romantic novels. it was a discovery of a new medieval torture for tom, seriously, to waste his precious time reading some sappy crap like that.) to better understand how to handle you.
how to deal with you.
how to cherish you, so that you don't ever entertain the idea of leaving him. you see, tom is a practical man— he'd rather not commit mistakes, because to fail, means to spend extra time fixing his error and doing the same thing twice, so that this time, it's done correctly.
applying this ideology to you, it means: that 1) tom riddle prefers to always keep your heart happy, so that you don't have doubts about him; so that 2) he won't have to take twice the effort to conquer the city of your heart again.
some think that tom wouldn't like petnames. to be fair, tom would frown at many of those, at first— thinking that they were cringe, disgusting or a psychological way to acquire diabetes. however, when tom gets used to this stir on his heart, those loud heart beatings that cloud his rational thoughts...
... it's excused to say that tom's preferred petname to call you by, is 'my love'.
tom reasons that's because it isn't a lie at all. well, you're certainly his— and because of you, because of your existence, of this enchanting aura of yours; that's how tom riddle discovered love. there are few things that tom is attached to. even fewer that he shows to care about, to have affectionate feelings for; one of them is the basilisk. others are his favorite books, all of them first editions that were troublesome, but endlessly worth it, to get. nevertheless, at the peak of the pyramid, there's you.
you. oh, how your name sounds so angelic, so right, so perfect on his lips. sometimes, tom doesn't call you by any petnames, so that he can mouth each syllable of your name, tasting the acquaintance of the name of his darling on his lips.
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he might call you by other petnames, depending on the occasions:
darling; which, in his opinion, is fairly one of the best petnames to be shared between a couple. because you, reader, are endearing to his eyes— a darling, really, whose presence immediately softens (ever so slightly, because tom riddle still is tom riddle himself, and that mask of stoicism of his won't be broken without putting up a fight.) those previously icy, cold eyes of his.
dearest; if tom is trying to reason with you. unlike what many think, tom would take a deep breath, put on that handsome smile of his, and use a gentle tone to convince some words inside that pretty little head of yours. 'dearest', he calls for you— so gentle, so full of affection; as if reminding you that you are the object of all of his affections and desires. you, his dearest, the one he adores the most. the reminder of such a fact easily melts you in less than a few seconds, which tom sees as too perfect of an opportunity to lose to convince you much faster.
doll; if you look rather ravishing to his eyes, whenever you dress up even prettier than other school days, and wear such pretty clothes and many accessories to further optimize your beauty. beautiful, perfect, flawless; like a doll. a carefully made doll. a doll, that sits there quiet and all pretty, obedient, doing as she's told.
( i must warn you, though, that tom won't entertain silly nicknames from you. tom riddle will ignore you, march forward without sparing a glance at you, not even acknowledging your presence should you insist on the matter. tom won't answer you, should you refer to him by such hideous petnames. you could be about to fall from a mountain, and yet tom won't help you until you address him properly. baby? he's not a child, for salazar's sake! pookie bear? now that might make tom riddle himself throw you off from the mountain's edge— call him such a monstrosity like that, and tom will lose every drop of faith on you. you're a lost cause. )
if he had to choose; yes, tom would prefer if you were obedient. contrary to popular belief, tom riddle is quite fascinated with sweet personas. to have a sweet significant other, who's all smiles and considerate words— it's so, so much easier for tom.
between a brat that trashes around for his attention, and a sweet girl who gently tries to indulge (purely out of concern, wanting him to share his problems with her!)— tom would rather choose the latter.
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quite the darling you are. to boldly take tom's hands between your own, with that frown of yours. no, you're not being whiny; yet tom can see that there's consideration, there's time spent on that little brain of yours, that tries to find the right words to speak with him.
then, when you voice your concerns— that tom spends some time alone from time to time, seemingly hiding something from you, as if to shoulder all of those burdens all by himself...
tom takes a deep breath, swallowing his temper. trying to keep his composure, because tom hates having to justify his actions. with a smile, tom puts on a facade, with a too much convincing tone: "oh, dearest, no. i'm flattered that you noticed that i haven't been having the best days; however, your presence makes everything better. in fact, being with you now, makes all of my problems seem insignificant in comparison."
should his sweet words not be enough to keep your nose out of his business, then tom takes a step further. holding your hands, tom squeezes them between his fingers, gently at first, tightly when you're too stubborn: "my problems are mine to solve, my love. i would never put such a heavy burden on you; your smile is too precious for me to ruin."
sweet, sweet words; some that tom mentally grimaces at, but knows that are necessary and effective with you. talking as if he's doing you a favor on keeping you away from his PERSONAL thoughts and goals.
and that's how tom pushes you way. gently, smoothly— so that you'd have to rethink this moment over and over, for you to understand that once again, tom riddle has tricked you; tricked you into doing what he wants. because without a fight, without you daring to bother him further... tom riddle made you go back to your own business, and leave his alone.
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however, when tom is in a better mood and less stressed with his own goals, he'd find it funny, entertaining even, if his darling tried to be bossy. to pout, to want some sort of control. it's hilarious for him.
so, he indulges you. well, sort of— tom tricks you into thinking that he gave in to your commands. to your whims. in a sneaky way, tom makes you think that you're in control!
the one who's in charge is you. yes, darling, of course. he pats your head, gives you that charming smile of his. with such a serene expression, tom briefly raises his eyebrows, mocking you inside that devious mind of his, as he says: you are absolutely right, dearest.
tom riddle doesn't really mind that you aren't consciously aware that the one in charge is him. that's fine; no, seriously, go and brag about it!
because ultimately, tom knows that what he says, goes. that with some sweet words of his, a little touch here and there, that you'll soon see the reason and comply to whatever tom wishes you to say, to do, to behave.
he does is so smoothly, that even for the outsiders, well... it'd be hard to realize that all that tom riddle is doing to you, is nothing but manipulation. and you're oh so easy to manipulate— it was a challenge at first. now, it's more of a chore; tom barely blinks through it. he knows you so well.
however, so that you whining and getting used to think that you're having things done your way, tom throws some praises and compliments here and there.
touching you chin, gently brushing his thumb on your lower lip; tom's gaze intentionally softens, as he praises: 'you're just too good to be true, my love.', whenever you act accordingly. when you do as he says.
brushing a strand of yours away from your face, so that he can further admire the physical features of his beloved: 'i sincerely can't take my eyes of you, darling, when you are so good for me like this. pardon the way that i stare— you're too beautiful.'
and with even more sincerity, tom riddle isn't sure where his manipulation ends and his genuine care for you starts; tom isn't sure, whether his words are now a muscle memory of his, or if he truly means them.
but he never allows himself to discover the roots of this thought. to actually find out if he truly is such an emotionally shallow person, or if his weakness for his darling is deeper than he realizes. no— this is one of the few matters, in which tom would rather remain ignorant about.
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because tom is such a gentleman with you...
opening doors for you. walking two, three steps ahead of you as soon as the entrance is upon sight, tom will open the door for you; his arm keeps it open for you to enter or leave the room first, and so those grayish-green eyes of his watch you, as you pass by. then, tom will enter just behind you, following your lead, quickening his steps to go back to his rightful place by your side. he lies to himself, saying that he only does such a small gesture to effortlessly keep you by his side. tom would be telling the truth, if he doesn't interrupt the thought that he enjoys to escort you— because, deep down, tom genuinely appreciates your company. every step, every minute you spend together. 'here, love. please, continue; what did you tell your housemate, then?'
tom riddle refuses to let you carry heavy books. so, as if it was muscle memory and so smoothly that you can't do anything about it, tom will carry your books along with his, as soon as you leave the classroom. it's not that he finds you useless, incapable; rather, tom riddle perceives you as a... preciously delicate, fragile little thing. most of the times, tom does it so nonchalantly that you don't even notice; you're too distracted by your conversation, to notice how tom carries your stuff, busying his arms. however, should you notice or worry that you're being a burden to tom in any way; tom shakes his head at you, waving off this silly insecurity of yours: 'i know you can carry them, beloved. however, allow me to do it for you. i am your boyfriend, am i not?'
offering his hand for you to take, whenever there's a higher step to be climbed up, or tricky stairs on your way. tom will do it too, to give you some kind of support, should you jump off of a particular high edge. whenever you wear high heels, tom would be specially careful with you— he offers his arm or hand for you to take, walking in a much slower pace than usual, so that you won't overexert your feet. we can't have his darling getting hurt, now can we? no bruises, no pain, no redness on your skin undesired by him, nothing to interrupt the lovely time you're spending together. 'take my hand, my love; it's quite high for you. that's it, darling, good girl.'
whenever you're about to sit, tom grabs the back of your chair, pushing the seat backwards for you to take, then helps you settle closer to the table. only then, will tom take his own seat in front of you. it's something that becomes so, so common between both of you, that sometimes you find yourself taking a few more seconds to sit down, whenever you hang out with your friends; unconsciously, you'd wait for tom to gently guide you to your seat. oh, you're spoiled.
leaning down to get the material you accidentally knocked out; if he's not quick enough to notice, then tom will keep his hand on the edge of the table, so that there's no chance for you to hit your head. 'quite the klutz, aren't you, darling?' — with a lighthearted tone, so that he doesn't come by as mean, tom couldn't help but to tease you just this time, — 'next time, let me get it for you, dearest. now, careful with your head.'
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... and because he's always so soft-spoken with you, well, how could you listen to your friends, in case they notice that maybe tom riddle isn't as a good guy as he lets on? that perhaps, he is a little controlling. that maybe, he's too overprotective of you.
→ and of course, being the fool you are, you stroll to the lion's cage (or should we call it snake?) and deliver all of this information on a silver platter for him.
SAT SIDEWAYS ON HIS LAP, tom settles your thighs to rest on top of his, while a hand is respectfully kept there; caressing the smooth skin, rubbing circles on the bare skin of your thigh, just inches underneath the hem of your skirt.
tom riddle keeps up a serene expression, sometimes humming in acknowledgement, to show you that he's listening to this ramble of yours. if it's a topic that seems to have bothered or upsets you, then tom will keep another hand on your lower back; he soothes you with small movements of his fingers.
oh, how funny. so this ravenclaw friend of yours, told you that it isn't normal for tom, your boyfriend, to comment whether you roll up your skirt during summer? that such a thing is being controlling? now that's something tom will have to deal with. perhaps, he'll only have to frame this irritating ravenclaw girl; have you ever thought that maybe, she's interested in tom? that must be why the ravenclaw is filling your pretty little brain with such absurd exaggerations of his doings. how lucky you are, to have an attentive boyfriend that easily notices when a friend of yours has bad intentions.
( for obvious reasons, tom despises amortentia. he finds it disgusting, but more than that, tom riddle perceives amortentia has a rather pathetic tool to get someone's affection. tom will never use it on you— he doesn't need to! however, he will get his hands on one, to use it on that nosy, insufferable ravenclaw friend of yours. only to prove his point. so that this nosy girl acts disgustingly flirty around tom, so that you'll come running back into his arms, crying about such an awful friend and that once again, tom was right. you apologize to him, for doubting his assumptions. you end this friendship and cut ties with the ravenclaw girl. and tom, well, tom riddle has once again rid both of you from troublesome outsiders. )
ah, now this is entertaining! so these friends of yours, housemates, have noticed that tom has been keeping an eye on you. now, dearest, that's rather silly, don't you think? so what if you seem to find the same familiar faces in the same space as you? do you really believe your friends' theories? that he sends his followers ''friends'' to follow you around the school? darling, hogwarts is quite enormous and spacious, yet all of you study together in the same castle. it's inevitable, to see familiar faces, here and there.
( however, tom will blame his followers. how difficult can it be, to follow, to stalk a girl like you? and to go unnoticed as they do that? sincerely, tom stares at them with such disgust, such disappointment, that his followers tremble under his gaze— the future dark lord even mentions the idea of getting rid of them. of throwing them away. after all, why would he need such useless, such incompetent boys like them, if they can't follow simple orders correctly? it's excused to say, that you'd never suspect being stalked again. 1) because tom reassured you that such a thought is rather silly; and 2), because these followers of tom riddle do a much better job. out of fear. )
oh, darling, what silly friends you have! sincerely, it seems like you only attract observant delusional friends, or attentive paranoid companies!
in the end, it doesn't matter if your friends tried to alert you about tom's toxic concerning flaws traits. because in the end, at night, he will have you nuzzling on his lap, holding you so tenderly; all of these warnings disappear into thin air, when tom makes you laugh at such accurate ridiculous accusations.
in conclusion: no, tom riddle would never be rude or snap at you; not if he can help it, not if he can keep his temper in check. he believes that the best way to keep you so effortlessly devoted and infatuated, to keep you willingly by his side, is to treat you with care (even if sometimes he has to manipulate his way into it). how lucky you are, to have such a obsessive caring boyfriend!
🪻 ; . . . fandom : harry potter.
— i'm endlessly faithful to theodore nott. however. the first to kick the entrance door to my heart was tom riddle. and what a man (i can't fix him. i would let him ruin my life him tho!), ladies and gentlemen.
the headers + gifs + icons aren't mine. credits to the respective creators ! 🌷
#tom riddle#tom riddle x reader#tom riddle headcanons#headcanons#fluff#dark romance#hp fandom#hp fanfic#slytherin boys#slytherin boys react#christian coulson#tom riddle dating
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lando norris nswf alphabet (part 1) (minors DNI!)
navigation taglist requests
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) No matter how rough and long you have sex, Lando behaves like a typical Lando afterwards. Of course he giggles under his breath, as if it was his first time. And he freaking blushes!!! He then loves to cuddle up to you even more (as he stresses - you need to appreciate the contact of naked body to naked body) and you lie together for a long time before you go to prepare a bath together or a quick shower (depending on your mood) while you wash each other. Oh, how he loves to wash your hair….
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Lando loves his abs in himself. Well, I beg to differ, superbly muscled, gym-trained…. Yes, Lando is definitely proud of it, and especially when he sees that you like it too. That works on him the most. He also likes her eyes, I think for many reasons, but I beg - who wouldn't love those bright beautiful eyes? Exactly!!!
What does Lando love about you? I think it will also be the eyes. The boy loves to look into them and could do it for hours. They are such a damn mystery to him, and yet he knows them so well. He loves to look into them when you are happy and they sparkle or when you squint them with laughter. But he definitely loves to look into them when you close them from the euphoria that grips your body during your sex. A better view Lando has never seen before, I promise.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Lando loves to see you in his cum. I know how it may sound, but there is no better sight for him than your lips around his cock or your shapely breasts that are all in his seed.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Without hiding it, Lando has fantasized more than once and more than twice about being completely dominated by you. The very fact that he adores you on top during sex says a lot. He loves it when you take control, and all he has to do is hold your hips to support you as you bounce. Even so, this doesn't happen too often and mostly Lando takes control, but in his head for a very long time exactly such thoughts have been forming….
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) I wouldn't say that Lando is some very experienced. He had a few sexual experiences with other women before you, but nothing binding (except his previous girlfriend), so I think he only started to discover the depths of sex with you. But you can't deny that he is vague or can't do something. God, I swear, Lando is the fulfillment of your every need.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Nothing fancy, let's not kid ourselves - despite the fact that you are young, you do not overdo it. Lando's and your favorite positions? Oh, definitely cowgirl. Norris loves to see your breasts bouncing right in front of his face. When you let out a quiet moan as he fills you to the brim. When he can look at your face constantly and sneak kisses that aren't very precise. And his other beloved position is total wall sex. No matter where - whether in the shower or in the kitchen or even in the hallway. Lando loves to do this, especially since at this point you are completely dependent on him and he hugs you with his whole body.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) Well, I beg you - you know Lando. The giggles in your bedroom (and not just your bedroom) are an integral part of sex. As I mentioned - the boy also blushes all the time. So no, serious sex with him is not an option. Even if you have a damn intense and romantic moment, Norris will always pull out some funny line and say it. Unless he is angry, oh, then his laughter you won't hear for a damn thing, but how long does it last? A maximum of two hours and it passes. Lando can't get mad.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) I don't think this is one of the thoughts that occupies his head in any particular way, but I think he has a neat. He shaves there out of habit, but it's not always a 100 percent shave, so I think you've seen a light stubble more than once. And as for you, I think he doesn't have too many requirements either. As long as it was neat and hygienic, yes it gives you free rein. After all, it's not his body (well, kinda like that…), the decision is yours.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Well, all right, but despite his giggles and funny tics, you will hear from his mouth lots and lots of comments about yourself. How good you are to him, how great he feels, how much he loves you…. Lando is a romantic - he may not show it too often in a serious way, but all of his still small youthful acts (even though he is already 25) are infused with love. If you tell him once that you want to make love by candlelight in a bathtub full of foam - voila! The next day, or maybe even the same day, your wish comes true.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Well, Lando does not shy away from masturbation. Rather, he doesn't practice it often because you are constantly next to each other and his level of sexual gratification is in the right place, but if you happen to be away, why not? But it should be acknowledged that he has never masturbated to any videos or photos or anything not related to you since your relationship began.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Dom/Sub sex - As I mentioned before, Lando often has thoughts in his head that you should totally dominate him. But I don't mean some kind of BDSM (although…) or degradation. Simple domination over him, though, here. Since you are 50/50 in life…. Well, and maybe a little voyeurism - he wouldn't mind if you entered the room, if he was just masturbating. Or the other way around. He himself also would not forgive such a view.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Couch or shower. I don't know why, Lando just has it that way. He loves sex on the couch probably because then you're mostly upstairs and he can spread out on your damn comfy couch. And the shower? That's the realm of greater intimacy for him. He really enjoys taking a bath with you, even when it's just a simple bath - without sexual overtones.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) You. Simply you. Lando still has a boner with you, which is of course damn funny for you, but well, don't kid yourself, we both know that you also get your panties wet at the sight of him. Whether morning or evening, whether in sweatpants or a elegant dress. It doesn't matter to him. You are so damn beautiful and exciting to him that such silly things as clothing go away. You could even be in a straitjacket and he would continue to appear extremely clingy next to you.
A/N: part two is already here! english is my second language i will be very pleased if you leave something behind - orders are open, and I am very close to 200 followers! maybe I can get in by the end of the week?
please do not copy and translate my works! in case of any issues related to this - I invite you to discuss privately :)
#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 fic#formula 1#lando norris smut#lando x reader#lando norizz#lando norris#lando norris x reader#ln4 x y/n#ln4 fluff#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4 x reader#ln4#formula 1 x you#formula one#mclaren
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hello, hello :) i like drama so... could i request a mean girl trying to flirt with hunting dogs and insulting their s/o?
I won't lie I've rewritten this like multiple times?? I don't know why this was so hard for me other than I hate conflict, so I struggled hard bro.
Scenario: Mean girl insulting their s/o while trying to flirt (Tecchou, Jouno)
Tecchou
“You can do better, you know?”
Tecchou blinked at the girl in front of him, the one who was staring at him dead in the face with eyes that looked like a predator.
It was an unsettling gaze. He felt challenged, as if the two were in a cage, ready to throw down.
She didn't look like an assassin, but Tecchou met abilities that were far more dangerous than physical capabilities alone.
“Excuse me?”
”You heard me. Ditch the cabbage patch bitch, come here and get a barbie. I think you're worth that.“
The woman leaned in closer, her long hair almost brushing against his arms.
Tecchou took a step back, regaining his personal space. He breathed as he felt his sword tied to his body, certainly within reach.
She was a civilian, but she could very well be a threat.
”I don't know what cabbage patches have to do with my girlfriend.”
The woman squinted at him, almost in offense. She was the one offering him a doll in the first place, like some sort of man in a white van offering kids candy.
It was a strange situation.
“I'm saying she's ugly. What? You don't think you deserve someone hot like me?”
Oh.
She was almost aggresive with her words, her long acrylic nail nearly jabbing at his chest - this was aggression, but it was pointed towards someone else.
It was targeted towards you. That's very crass, isn't it?
”I don't think you're attractive.“
Tecchou had a hard line to toe. He didn't want to deal with a hysterical woman, but he also knew that you most certainly heard this conversation, listening from somewhere off in the park while he had gone to order you both lunch.
He hated to imagine the look on your face from hearing those words. You were rather sensitive compared to him when it came to these things, and he hated to imagine you crying.
It was one of the worst things that he had ever seen, that and wasting food. Maybe his bones poking out from underneath his skin were a close second, but he could handle physical pain pretty well. He didn't really know how to handle you crying, and it was damn near as painful.
”Excuse me?“
Tecchou had to take another step back, the woman not understanding the concept of personal space and respecting boundaries. It was agitating, watching as she tried to encroach onto his personal boundaries again, her hand reaching towards his chest area.
Slapping her hand away, he glared at her, looking between her and the offending hand between them.
“Don't touch me.”
There was an anger building up inside of him, watching the woman as she stared at him in confusion. What the hell did she have to be confused about? She was the one who had insulted his girlfriend.
"Who the hell do you think you are-"
"Don't insult people you don't know."
He didn't bother to look back at the woman, instead rushing to get his food.
He and his girlfriend's food.
Because that's who really mattered. Not some woman who didn't even know how personal boundaries worked. Or notice the fact that he was carrying a lethal weapon.
Tecchou wasn't the kind of man to harm a civilian. But once and a while he was reminded of why he was different from them.
Jouno
"You know, for a blind guy you're really cute."
Jouno hated having his downtime disturbed, and of course, when he tried to be a good boyfriend and get a package for you, he was interrupted by a woman who he did not care to hear from.
Certainly not his girlfriend, nor Teruko, nor anyone he respected.
The only distress he smelled was in her pants, and frankly, he wanted no part. He just wanted to go home and bring you back whatever stupid shirt you ordered.
"My girlfriend says that to me all the time."
He emphasized the words, hoping she would feel embarrassed and leave him alone. There were others in the mailroom, surely she would take the hint and know not to hit on a man wearing fire-red Hello Kitty pajamas.
At least, that's what you had told him. He was against wearing tacky outfits, but you liked to match and he wasn't going to say no when you were thoughtful enough to buy something so considerate to his senses.
Maybe they looked stupid. He didn't care to see them, anyway, since he only wore them at home. And in the mailroom.
Where he was currently being hit on.
"Well, do you think she appreciates it?"
"What?"
Already starting to walk away from the woman, he found himself being followed by her into the stairwell. He would rather take an elevator, but being stuck in a locked room with her seemed rather unpleasant at the moment.
"You know..."
Not caring for her life, the woman grabbed his arm, hugging it close to her chest. He cringed as he tried to push her off, feeling as she pressed her entire body weight against him.
It felt like someone had thrown a piano at him.
"I think I can show you a way better time than she can. Just stand here-"
Cringing, Jouno pushed her off, listening as she stumbled against the railings.
"You're not deaf, are you? I'm in a relationship, psycho."
He dusted himself off, trying to clean away the dirty particles that was her mere existence on his clothes. At this rate, he was going to have to bleach them.
"With an ugly bitch! I know you can't see it, but-"
"I haven't seen your face but I already know a pig was your mother."
Smirking, he felt for the fire alarm on the wall, pulling it.
Jouno knew he was just out of line for the sprinklers, and it was satisfying to listen as the woman shouted as the cold water shocked her system. It was worth the screaming in his ears - he knew that she most likely looked like shit now.
With the woman off of him, he took the dryest path up the stairs, smiling as he listened to her screams of indignation.
Possibly humiliation. He sure hoped so, for being unable to listen to a simple rejection.
"I hope you have your phone on you. I'm not leaving the door open for you, ugly bitch."
He waved goodbye to her with your package, smirking as she banged on the now closed doors of the stairwell.
The fire department can deal with her. That wasn't his problem.
There was a package he had to deliver to his lovely girlfriend, who he knew would be sitting in a shared apartment wondering why the fire alarm went off.
Honestly I struggled mad hard with this one. So much so it took me nearly a year to write (haha...haaaaaaa). But also hope you enjoyed it cause damn...I've never been in a mean girls scenario so i had to make it up
#bsd x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader#tecchou x reader#bsd x y/n#jouno x reader#jouno x you#jouno x y/n#tetcho x reader#tetcho x you
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❝ꜱᴏᴜʟꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴄʀᴜꜱʜ❞ — chapter seventeen | coriolanus snow
「ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ:」 SFW | canon typical death, violence, mentions of self harm, Coriolanus Snow, mentions of suicide | lmk if I forgot anything
「ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ:」 young! Coriolanus Snow x fem! Reader
「ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ:」 coriolanus snow is now a peacekeeper.
「ᴀ/ɴ:」 i wrote this at four am, please forgive me if it's not good, give me your feedback!! And uhm.. i am gonna pull an all nighter, coz if i sleep now i won't be able to wake up in time tmr, wish me luck!!
Beta read by 🩶 @nowitsmissing 🩶
masterlist | navigation | series taglist
Coriolanus was on the train. He had nothing but mere minutes to pack his belongings and say goodbye to his life in the Capitol. Tigris was in tears. And he knew the hug he gave grandma’am would be the last he ever received from her. Peacekeepers have to serve for twenty years after all.
He was on his way to district twelve. Not once had you come to visit him. He would lie to himself if he said he thought you would be at the train station. He expected an explanation. He was ready to accept lies. But no one was waiting for him. He was all alone.
Snow has lost his previous blonde curls as all officers had to have a buzzcut. He also had been sprayed with extremely cold water before he was given the blue uniform of peacekeepers. Coriolanus had gone over a small handbook and he realized hierarchy is everything. There are ways to raise rank but what's the point of it all?
What's the point?
He will never be president.
The Snow name will fall.
He will never have you.
He should just end it all.
That's when the door to his train cabin opens. The person who enters is completely unsuspected. Sejanus Plinth. His… friend.
Sejanus sits before him. Coriolanus doesn't even greet him. He's shocked. He blurts out, “Before you came, I was thinking about the merits of suicide.”
Sejanus replied with a chuckle, “Don't give them the satisfaction, Coryo.”
Coriolanus nods. He won't. He will make it out somehow.
“Why are you here?”
“I volunteered,” Sejanus said proudly, “as a medic. I will make a real difference like you said I can.”
Coriolanus wants to roll his eyes but doesn't. He likes the company he has right now, it's better than nothing. He smiles, all nice and fake. “Of course, Sejanus. You'll also meet your songbird.”
Sejanus Plinth blushed, “That too.”
✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧
The First Week.
Ma Plinth sends letters regularly to Sejanus. She also sends him various goods including pastries that Sejanus shares with him. He hates it. Coriolanus still finishes his share of the sweet as it's so rare to find in the districts.
They don't have a day off yet. Sejanus hasn't found Lucy Gray. He's worried. Coriolanus speaks false words to put the poor boy at ease. It works more often than not.
The training is hard but Coryo excels. He's noticed by several of the recruits. They're friendly. He doesn't reveal that he's from the Capitol, nor does Sejanus Plinth. The gifts from his Ma are kept a secret.
✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧
The First Month.
Coriolanus Snow trains more and more. He trains harder than everyone. Snow eats well. He has more muscles than he had in the academy. Coryo could beat several people in combat now. He had gained the respect of his peers.
He was angry.
That’s the only reason he trained so much. Because if he thinks too much, he won't be able to live. He checks his mail every day. He gets them weekly from Tigris. It doesn't say much except the fact they're doing well.
Coryo rarely writes her back.
He yelled at Sejanus today.
It's the first time he ever yelled at the boy. Sejanus looks like he is about to cry and Coriolanus doesn't know what to do.
Coriolanus Snow is mad at you. And you aren't here to take the burn.
✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧
The Second Month.
Coriolanus caves in. He writes. He writes and writes dozens of letters addressed to you. It's about the smallest thing. How heavy the gun was for him to carry in the beginning and how it is now. How the air is fresh in some parts of the district and horrible near the factories. How bright the sun is. How pretty the flowers are. He speaks about the culture he thought district people could never have. He speaks about the people who are… kind. Different than he thought so.
Coriolanus doesn't send them to you.
However, Sejanus Plinth does.
Sej is sure you'll reply.
You don't.
He stops writing the letters.
✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧
The Second Month; Second Week
He begs onto the paper. So much ink is wasted.
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please.
SAY SOMETHING BACK
He scrawls the words roughly onto the letter over and over again. Tears falling from his eyes and ruining the ink. It makes some of the words ineligible. He doesn't care. You'll get it.
You get him.
Out of all the people, why did you abandon him like this?
✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧
The Second Month; Fourth Week
Snow doesn't get a reply. It doesn't matter.
Whatever healing his soulmate scar had gone through had reversed. It was the same ugly scar now. It didn't matter. Nothing does.
Sejanus says he's colder now. Angrier. He has a temper. Coriolanus doesn't care.
Sejanus Plinth forces Coryo to enjoy his day off. He drags him to The Hob, the bar in District Twelve. He sees Lucy Gray dancing and singing around. He meets with the Covey. He laughs for the first time in a while.
The same night he kisses someone. He doesn't remember who. He hates it. It felt like spiders crawling on his skin. He vomits outside of the bar. Sejanus is concerned. Coriolanus Snow quietly cries himself to sleep that night.
He doesn't touch his soulmate's scar for comfort anymore. He wishes he could cut all the skin off from his wrist where the mark was.
✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧
The Third Month; First Week
When he comes back to the Capitol, he will. He will kill you. He will ruin you like you ruined him. The next time you meet Coriolanus Snow you aren't coming out alive.
✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧
The Third Month; Fourth Week
Coryo can imagine his life here. With Sejanus and the Covey. Lucy Gray quickly becomes his friend (somewhat). Maude Ivory, her younger cousin, is sweet and considers Coryo like a brother figure.
It means a lot to him.
The music they play. The cabin in the woods. The cool lake is hidden in the forest. It's nice. A life worth having (he's lying to himself).
He hates the heat.
He misses the Capitol.
He misses you. Though he will never admit it.
✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧
The Fourth Month; First Week.
Coryo finds out what the hanging tree is named after. It's a tree used for hanging the rebels. And some rebels were caught recently. Their names were called out by the captain. And they were sentenced to death.
Coriolanus had to stand up straight and keep a poker face as they were punished. A girl calls out the unfairness of it all. Pleads that they were doing nothing wrong. Snow wants to scoff. The rebels tried to escape, flee to the north, away from the safety that Panem offered. That's betrayal in Coriolanus' book.
The girl is taken away as a rebel as well.
As it should be.
Dumb district girl.
✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧
The Fourth Month; Third Week.
A few officials have come from the Capitol to district twelve on a mission nobody knows anything about. Coryo hears rumors about it being about district thirteen and he's reminded of you. He doesn't pay much attention to it as they were just baseless rumors. District thirteen ceased to exist and his family had to face the consequences because of it.
Commander Hoff gathers every peacekeeper in the Nauen radio station. Hoff begins with a speech, “Today I call you here to let you know about the prestigious guests staying in District twelve for the time being. It is suffice to say that they expect the best from you as one of you will be assigned to be each of their bodyguard for their safety. They're from the Capitol, remember their lives matter more than yours. Do not let me down.”
Commander Hoff calls out names one by one and the peacekeeper is assigned to the person. He calls out your name. Coriolanus freezes, perhaps he heard wrong. He looks around onto the stage where the officials are and sees you for the first time in months.
Fuck. You're so beautiful.
He fists his hands. He bites the inside of his cheeks. It takes him everything not to descend into madness.
“...is assigned to Coriolanus Snow.”
You're under him now.
Good luck.
Next Part
#character x reader#x you#x reader#x female reader#fem reader#coriolanus snow#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#president coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus smut#coriolanus x you#coriolanus snow x female!reader#coriolanus snow x reader smut#coriolanus snow x you#young coriolanus snow#president snow#tom blyth#dystopian fiction#thg tbosas#tbosas fanfiction#tbosas#tbosas x reader#the hunger games#the hunger games x reader#thg x reader#thg series#thg fanfiction#thg#snow x reader
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The Toy's favorite Child
Notes: This is the first time I'm doing such thing so I'm really nervous XD I didn't know what to put into the background of the drawing so I didn't put any. Maybe I'll edit it soon. Do forgive me for my shading, I'm still learning(trying to)
Synopsis: After starting to live in PlayCare, one creature you became friends with grew a liking to you...
Warning: PLATONIC, headcanon + little story, reader is 12-14 years old, reader is a chill teenager
It's been a year since you got into the PlayCare, passing through the security with laid-back face and leaving the staff confused. They kept you because you seemed useful for them...
You were quite chilly and relaxed, reserved and smart. Also, because of your personality you were almost the same with Cat Nap from cartoons. Maybe that's why you became quick friends with Smiling Critters. With most of them, at least...
The big purple cat was almost never appearing like others from his party. And this interested you.
After a week or so you finally met him face-to-face. You were as calm as always, but your heart was pounding from excitement. You said 'hi' for politeness and introduced yourself, waiting for him to do the same.
Guess what? His face didn't even shift. He continued staring at you with his dead eyes.
After understanding that you won't get an answer from him, you tried to talk about something else.
But he disappeared in blink of an eye.
You were quite disappointed, but you still had the same urge to get to know the living toy better. You knew it'll be a long while...
It was worth 3 months to make him sit and listen to your rambling for 10 minutes. It was worth more months to make him spend at least an hour with you. It took even longer for him to let you stay near him and sleep, leaning onto the puppet. But it was worth the pleasure you get from his warmth and company.
Even though you never heard him talk, it's enough for you to be near him. It's good to talk about any nonsense which randomly comes to your mind and have a listener who won't judge you. It's also good to take a great nap in his fur or stay in complete silence, thinking of your own thing.
The staff, of course, sooner found out the relationship between you and the purple cat puppet.
They tried to use you to their own benefits and new information, but instead you composed some lies which sounded like truth to tell them(Cat Nap helped you a little sometimes, nodding or shaking his head if the lie sounds truthful or not).
When the scientists were starting thinking about taking you for the test next, Cat Nap started to monitor you to make sure you won't end up in the Game Station.
It definitely wasn't him who knocked out the staff members right behind your back. It definitely wasn't him who let out some scratching noises in Home-Sweet-Home. Also, of course, it definitely wasn't his sharp gaze you felt on your gut 24/7.
You liked to use the hair brush on the purple furball. It doesn't move away so you can say that he's at least neutral to your activity(we don't talk about his really quiet purring).
[Now. The small story]
It was a normal day like any other one. More specifically, night. However, this week was quiet strange: the staff members of Playtime Co. except the workers from the PlayCare appeared more often in front of you. When they started talking about 'test', they randomly passed out because of the red smoke. You knew it was one of the Smiling Critters you were hanging out with for a while, but you didn't know why was he doing it.
You were currently sitting with your back leaning against the living cat plush, brushing your companion's tail you gently patted with your free second hand. The only thing that bothered you in that peaceful time was the fact that the purple cat wasn't purring at all. It was staring at you with its dark eyes. Sooner after, you finally asked him about this:
— Is something wrong, Cat Nap?
It didn't answer. Instead, the living toy just stared at you with expressionless eyes, not moving an inch. You weren't intimidated by the stare at all, so you just continued brushing the long tail. You weren't hoping for an answer anyway, but still a small, almost impossible dream was remaining in your heart.
The silence was broken by the raspy, low voice coming out from Cat Nap's voice box.
— The Prototype... Will Save Us.
You flinched.
Wow...
This is the first time he ever said something to you. It was surely a progress for your friendship.
You stared at him with wide eyes for a moment before shifting your attention back to the tail. You shrugged with your shoulders, your face had a relaxed smile.
— I don't know who the Prototype is, but if they helped you somehow, I think they're my saviour too. You're like a home to me.. I can't even imagine what would it be like living without you here!
You chuckled, patting the fluffy tail while Cat Nap looked at you with the same stare. However, something in his eyes changed... Maybe his gaze gained a little more... softness?
He stared at you until you fell asleep on him again. A few minutes of him sinking into his thoughts have passed, the toy putted his head on his paws, wrapping his tail around you like a blanket and soon enough closing his eyes. You would call it the same night-time scenario with Cat Nap in the next morning, because you didn't know that he was comfortably purring, nuzzling himself into your warmth last night...
Notes: OH MY GOD I DID IT :D I'll maybe do part 2, but without promises
Anyways, thank you for wasting your time reading my first-ever-made English fanfic. Do write me some comments about my errors if you find any, I will appreciate it since it'll improve my writing skills.
Have a nice day/evening/night!😘
#poppy playtime x reader#poppy playtime#poppy playtime 3#cat nap#cat nap x reader#platonic#child!reader#fluff#own work#own drawing#first post
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Hiiii <3 i absolutely adore your works, I have been SEARCHING for someone who appreciates the sub!hotd boys
I saw that you recently wrote this for Jace, but I've been thinking so so hard about taking care of sub!Aemond when he's not feeling good/sick, the way he would absolutely install all of his trust into his beloved, and completely melt away in their arms! Especially if he has a stomach bug or something like that.
We know how he feels about people in his space, so he definitely doesn't want the maesters or servants near him, so all of his care is basically through his lover 😵💫😭
I love this idea! I also think it's very funny how much we all love torturing these characters.
There's nothing NSFW in this answer but the vibes are definitely sub!aemond and also I do make reference to what happened at the brothel when he was 13 so I'm gonna hide it behind a cut just in case.
Firstly, Aemond trust is very VERY hard to get. You are the only person he actually trusts. Sure there are some others he trusts to certain extents, but you are the only one with his full trust. A big part about why you have that level of trust is because of how you protect him and his vulnerabilities? You will never ever let anyone else see him in a vulnerable position. Plenty of people have tried to get you to reveal things about Aemond to them and of course you always tell them to get lost and then tell Aemond about it later. There are no secrets between the two of you, ever.
(And I really do mean ever, not even white lies, not even a lie that sets up a surprise for him, nothing. In fact you go out of your way to always ensure he knows what's going on with you and letting him tell you what's happening with him. It's this constant, open communication that really solidifies the relationship for Aemond. You become his safe space, and he becomes yours)
So when Aemond gets sick, his first reaction is absolutely to find you and ask for support. In fact, he probably doesn't been realise it? He just feels bad and before he knows what's going on he's wondering around the keep trying to find you.
It's because he always feels better when he's in the same space as you? He just feels so much more secure when he's with you, when he knows he has someone who is 100% on his side and have his back.
You know something is wrong the moment you spot him because he doesn't actually come to you and join the conversation you're having, instead he just stands there watching you. He looks even paler than normal. You quickly excuse yourself from the conversation and go to him.
The first thing you do is ask what's wrong and he actually doesn't answer the first time. There are too many people around and he doesn't want anyone else hearing that he's not feeling well. So you take him to your shared chambers and only then does he confess about how bad he feels. You try to convince him to call a maester, but needless to say that doesn't work.
You arent too surprised with that refusal, considering how reserved he is and how much he hates seeming weak in front of others. You're just glad he's come to you. You don't even consider calling a maester anyway. It doesn't matter how sick he is, you won't break his trust like that. He came to you for help.
You help him get undressed and then help him into a wam bath to get him feeling a little better. Only once he's in the bath do you ask if you can remove his eye patch, and part of you think he'll say no because of how clearly vulnerable he is. But he nods and asks you to do it for him. You, of course, gently taking it off him and then help him wash himself. Aemond absolutely ADORES when you wash his hair, so when you make the offer to do that he agrees immediately.
Once he's nice and clean, you help him onto the bed. The moment he's changed into more comfortable clothes he's pulling you into bed with him and turning into your arms. You let him rest against your chest and run your hands through his hair, untangling it with your fingers.
He just lays there for a while, eventually he starts shivering and you pull away to ask what's wrong. That's when you feel his forehead and realise he has a fever. Again you suggest calling a maester and again he refuses, choosing instead to dive back into your chest and cling to you as he shivers.
You wait a little while longer and ask again when you realise he's not getting any better. You then offer to call the maesters but ensure they don't touch him. That's an option he considers, and eventually he agrees. `
You go to fetch the maester on duty, and you give them a very stern talking to because allowing them into the bedroom, making them promise they won't touch Aemond.
Aemond is sitting in the bed when you return, and he immediately holds his hand out to you. You come and sit on the side of bed, taking his hand and then telling the Maester what's going on. The maester tries to say he needs to feel Aemond's forehead, but you stop him mid sentence. Aemond doesn't even need to tell the maester no, you've already stopped him. You can feel how aemond's grip on your hand relaxes when you prevent the maester from touching him.
The maester prescribes some medication and to keep a cool towel on his forehead. You administer his medication and put a damp towel over his forehead as instructed. Aemond doesn't even bother listening to what the Maester said because he knows you would have listened closely and would ensure he follows all instructions.
When aemond is sick is the only time he will actually be openly needy with you. When you try to leave the room he actually whines and begs you to come back. And he's so hostile to anyone else who tries to enter the room, because he mostly just feels so vulnerable and he can't stand the thought of others seeing him that way. You basically have to guard his door for him to be able to relax enough to actually sleep.
Oh and if he made you sick as a result, he'll look after you and lord help anyone who tries to get him to move away from your bedside.
#sub!aemond#aemond targaryen x reader#prince aemond#aemond one eye#aemond targaryen#hotd aemond#aemond x reader#house of the dragon#house of the dragon fanfiction#hotd#house of the dragon imagine
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🌻 tate langdon boyfriend headcanons 🌻
tate langdon x reader
💜 oh lord, buckle up guys, you're in for a wild one
🧡 he definitely fell first and 100% harder and you can't tell me otherwise
💜 we all know how tate is, he's very clingy and he's very very possessive of what's his. and that's how he views you, you're his and nobody else's
🧡 would definitely stay hidden at first, just so he could watch you for a bit. at this point, there's nothing about you that tate doesn't know
💜 when you finally meet, tate swears he could die all over again and he'd die happy
🧡 tate would definitely act more innocent than he actually is. this boy knows how to cry on command and he will use it to his advantage, don't think just because he loves you that he wouldn't
💜 if anything, he does it because he loves you and he can't have you leave him like violet did
🧡 i hope you like nirvana, because tate will not listen to something that you like if he doesn't enjoy it. he's not very good at that
💜 tate always needs to be touching you. all the time. whether it's an arm around you or holding hands, this boy craves physical touch and to be the centre of your attention
🧡will probably try his best to get your friends to stop hanging around you so he can have you all to himself. will deliberately scare them to stop them from coming to the house
💜 would also certainly lie about ever doing such a thing were you to confront him about it
🧡 tate wouldn't ever want you to ever leave the house., if he had his way that is. would hate it if you chose to spend time with other people
💜 like what did they have that he didn't?
🧡 he would 100% be the type that watches you even when you're asleep. or anytime, really.
💜 would definitely want you to commit suicide, so that you can be with him forever. you of course find this idea insane and don't think he actually means it
🧡 he does. he's 100% serious
💜 i can imagine that tate gives really good hugs though. the warm, bear hugs that you never want to leave because they make you feel so secure and safe
🧡 is very big on comforting you after a bad day. he'll listen to your rants, let you cry in your arms, whatever you need him for and he'll do it
💜 let's be honest though, it's probably just another way he gains your trust so that you won't ever think of leaving him
🧡 feels extremely guilty if he ever hurt you in any way, or upset you
💜would probably just disappear for a few days because he can't face the fact that he's hurt you. but obviously he comes back because the boy can't help himself
🧡 tate is your ride or die. he would die for you all over again if you asked him to and alternatively would kill for you if that's what you required
💜 makes silly little handmade gifts for you. tate can't leave the house so he has time to be creative
🧡 it's even better if it's raining outside when he makes them, it sets a nice vibe
💜 loves, loves halloween. the two of you would carve pumpkins together and sit for hours in your room telling ghost stories and drinking apple cider
🧡 if tate had his own way, you'd never meet his mother
💜you do eventually and she probably hates you lmao, but do we really care let's be real here
🧡 tate is the kind of boyfriend that would make a playlist for you as a present
💜 he'd try his hardest to make sure you don't find out about his past. which lasted about 2 months max because you're not stupid
🧡 violet, vivien and moira would try and protect you at all costs. they're like your three guardian angels, whether they decide to show themselves to you or not
💜 i imagine you'd actually get on with violet really well
🧡 this could go one of two ways with tate. he'd love it, both girls he'd loved were getting along, makes his life easier. or, he'd hate it. hate that you choose to spend time with the girl that broke his heart
💜 isn't really big on nicknames tbh, he thinks your name is the most beautiful word he knows, and so he wouldn't dream of calling you anything else
🧡 tate is 100% the little spoon, don't fight me on this
💜 absolutely lives for your affection. he thrives best on it
🧡 would be sweet but low-key toxic, so solid 6/10
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Bam Yang Gang | F1/F2 (kimi bday celly!)
type :: h/c, fluff tw/cw :: imposter syndrome (kimi), contains :: kimi!, carlos, paul request :: hi! i wanted to request the bam yang gang prompt for carlos and paul along with kimi, these are tough and trying times for us sainz and aron fans 😭🥲 (yessss! my favs from both series!!! and ik :( well get through it tho,,, i hope) link to kimi bday celly!
Kimi Antonelli | 04
He didn't lose the race, he did much better than others - but he was still harsh to himself. He got P14, which wasn't god awful since he beat many drivers. But compared to his other results, he was so disappointed with himself. He didn't even want to speak to you out of embarrassment from his results.
But you just have to force yourself in, since he most likely won't talk to anyone. So when you knock gently on his driver's room door, sneaking in, he tries his best to turn away from you. He doesn't like pity or false-comfort.
His results mean the world to him, there's always so much pressure on him. Although he basically has a good future secured within Mercedes, he's still terrified of it being ripped away from him one day. He feels a constant pressure to perform at his peak, to prove his worth to the world.
Imposter syndrome is something he feels often, he just never opened up about it to anyone. Anyone but you. You knew the best way to help was to assure him that it was just one bad race, not a bad career.
Staying near him and reassuring him he has more races is the best thing you can do. He likes cold hard facts over emotional help. So instead of saying he did amazing, tell him how he almost got fastest lap or tell him how his average position is still around P7.
Also, acts of service helps him as well. Taking any stress off of him that you can makes him feel special, he sees all the effort you put into making him feel better. So, cleaning his driver's room, fixing his hair, or wiping that gross sweat off his forehead means the world to him.
Carlos Sainz | 55
The race was going great for him, he was staying in P2 which was amazing compared to his last races. But it went downhill so fast when he unable to control his steering wheel, making him crash into the barrier and DNF. The entire car was broken, wheels popped off, metal scraps flying everywhere, and even a small baby fire that went out on it's own. The crash was scary, but wasn't his biggest crash.
To say he was disappointed was an understatement. He was angry, disappointed, guilty, and so much more. Instantly, he just ran to his drivers room, wanting to lock himself out of everyone. But when you come in the room, he's unable to say no to you.
The best way to comfort him is just remind him of all his good wins and achievements. His self doubt will build up if you don't remind him of how amazing he is. Physical touch also calms him down and reassures him more.
"You did amazing, Carlos" You say as you brush his sweaty hair to the side and plant a kiss on his forehead.
"You don't need to lie to me." He says as he tries to gently push you away, but you knew he wanted you close. "I was so close to winning, so close..."
"You'll be even closer next time Carlos, you've been improving every race!" You say, knowing you had to stroke his ego a little, "You started in P9 and went up to P2! Who cares if you DNF, you'll probably be driver of the day."
"Ah, I don't care about driver of the day." He says with a hand wave, but you could see the small relaxation his eye muscles made, softening his eyes. You knew he didn't mind the idea of being driver of the day.
"This is just one bad race! Think about Austria or Monaco! Those were great" You say, playing with his hair slightly despite the sweat. You see him give a small smile as he remembers those races.
It was a constant back and forth, of him downplaying himself and you. reassuring him. You knew he already felt better, but you could tell he just wanted more praise for his hard work.
Paul Aron | 17
After Silverstone, Paul was a mess. Mentally, he was screwed - but physically he was doing his best to hide it from others. He knew it was "just a race" but it means so much more to him. He doesn't just want to win, he needs to. With so much pressure to succeed, no academy behind him, and his family pouring this money into this dream of his: he feels the guilt and pressure to succeed 100 times more than any other driver.
He locked himself into his drivers room, too scared to lash out at someone or even worse, cry in public. But you sneak in, how could you not? Seeing him so stressed out would worry anyone.
When he sees you, he can't help but try and hide away for a bit. He needs space for some time to gather himself and assure himself first. It's nothing against you, he loves your company and reassurance, but he also likes to assure himself. His mental is surprisingly calm and collected despite how chaotic life can be.
Once he's ready to face you, most likely after 10 or 20 minutes of being alone, he'll want to move on from the topic. He's not one to dread on the past much and focusses more on the future. The best way to help him is to mention the race once, only once. Otherwise he'll start to think about the race again and feel embarrassed.
Something that helps him is physical touch and quality time. So after the race, just shower him in kisses and hugs and then take him to dinner. He's a very spoiled boyfriend, he is 100% part of the sassy-man apocalypse but he just hides it well
"Thammk you" Paul says in a mumble as you continue to drown him in kisses all across his face. He can't help but smile as you continue to go insane on his face, like a wood pecker. As you pull your head back to take a breathe, he gives you a rude side eye. He clears his throat dramatically, "I didn't say stop, did I?"
He says as he places his hands on your waist, making you sit on his lap as you continue to drown his entire face in kisses. He doesn't even care if you have lipstick or lipgloss on, if anything he prefers it. It makes him smile to see all of those kiss marks on him, it fuels his ego slightly.
#f1#f2#andrea kimi antonelli#kimi antonelli#kimi antonelli x reader#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x reader#paul aron#paul aron x reader#f1 x reader#f2 x reader#formula 1#formula 2#formula 1 x reader
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Can request one where y/n is the sister of a f1 driver ( u can choose) and they find out she is dating either Fermin,pedri,or gavi because she appears at one of the games?!
found us out / Fermín López
Summary: Fermín x Sainz!girlfriend!singer!reader - Things don't blow over well with Carlo Sainz when you're caught dating a Barcelona player.
Warnings: censored cussing, a little bit of Spanish, reader being a singer isn't really important at all- i just made it a fact in order for things to tie in together and made more sense, mention of nausea, this ended up being pretty long
Requested?: Yes.
Author's Note: Boy, what a crossover! As I was reading this request I literally started giggling in excitement to write this because I knew how fun this would be. I think it's clear that this has to be the sister of Carlos, though. Always good when there's a little bit of drama.
You exhale, fiddling with your fingers under the table as you listen to your father and your brother discuss plans.
You wish that exhaling would release not only the carbon dioxide from your body, but also all the unnecessary stress building up in your chest.
The plans they're discussing are for a small party. Of course, it's a little party that you're expected to go to. It is an entire family event. Or so you've heard...
On the surface, having a family gathering surrounded around Real Madrid playing a literal fourth-tier team (Arandina) in the Copa del Rey sounds really lame. And secretly, you do think it's really lame. But the point is looking forward to watching them slaughter the underdogs. Which is fair enough.
Suddenly you interrupt: "Isn't El Derbi next week? Wouldn't that be better for a family get together?" You're sure they've already thought of that, but if there's any possible way you could get out of this, you'd love to find it.
"Haven't you been listening?" your father questions. "Carlos has plans already. He needs to leave Monday morning, and won't be back until Friday. That won't work."
You clench your jaw. No, you weren't listening, because you were stressing out about your plans for that weekend.
You figure if you're going to tell your brother and father, right now is just as good a time as any other time. You sigh and say, "Well, I'm busy on Sunday, actually..."
Both pairs of brown eyes snap to you, and Carlos says, "What do you have going on? And the Madrid game is on Saturday, anyway- shouldn't it be fine?"
Really, why shouldn't it be fine? What lie will you come up with? Because you can't really say what you're busy with on that day. You manage out, "Some friends... we planned weeks ago to go out that day. Have some fun, you know... Sorry. I guess... Would it be fine if... Surely I wouldn't be missed...? The, uh, thing he have planned is... for Sunday night...."
Carlos sighs, leaning back. "Come on, Y/n. You can't cancel? Family over friends, right?"
But you shake your head as you finish your meal. You stand up with your plate, knowing that if you stay any longer, you'll be guilt tripped into doing what they want you to do, despite what you want to do. So you say, "What's done is done. You can still have the party without me." And you walk out of the room.
Hours later, you're laying in bed. You should be sleeping, but instead you're staring up at the ceiling and thinking.
'Family over friends, right?'- Carlos' words from earlier play through your head in the exact tone he had said it. Yeah, family over friends, Carlos. You've been seeing him and the rest of your family on and off frequently for the past month. But the one you really want to see? You haven't seen him in over a month, and you miss him, dearly. You just want to be able to see him. To surprise him.
And you know he misses you, too, by the constant text messages he sends you.
And, with perfect timing, your phone buzzes on your bedside stand next to you. You pick it up right away and smile to yourself when you see it's him. Telling you he can't sleep. Asking if you want to face time.
You don't even respond, and just call him first.
A smile immediately sneaks up on you when you see your boyfriend. His golden brown hair is all messed up, as he's leaning on a soft pillow, and he has a blanket pulled up all the way to his chin. His brown eyes look even deeper in the dim lighting, but they light up when they view you across the phone. "¡Hola, mi corazón!"
Immediately you feel butterflies fly up in your stomach at his little pet name. "Hey, Fermín," you say, much more casually. "How are you doing?"
He shrugs, and his eyes flutter down a little. "I can't sleep... I wanted to hear your pretty voice. And see your pretty face."
You smile softly, but ask in concern, "Why can't you sleep?"
But a cute little grin appears in his face, and he laughs a little. "Because I'm thinking about you."
"Oh!" you chuckle. "I see..."
You continue chatting together softly for who knows how long. But this is what you do. One of you calls and you can't help but just chat for minutes or hours or however long.
You just love the sounds of each other's voices and the sparkle in each other's eyes.
Saturday evening, just as family member are starting to arrive at the house, you walk to the door, pulling your hair into a ponytail, about to walk out. Your brother stops you, saying, "So you are really going?"
You turn, meeting his eyes as you grab your black long coat. "Yeah, I am. I'm sorry, Carlos..." you add when you see the disappointment in his big brown eyes.
He shrugs, and says what he always does: "Alright. Well, just be careful. And have fun. When will you be back?"
You hesitate. This is the very question you didn't want him to ask. "Uh... Probably Monday morning... I'll text you, though."
His eyebrows knit together even further. "Monday morning? I thought you were just having a night with your friends."
"One of them suggested we could stay at her house and spend the following day doing something else," you lie, nearly effortlessly now."
"Why not just come home?"
You sigh at the question. The truth is, you booked a hotel so you could catch Fermín as soon as possible in the morning and spend more time with him, since you'll have to get to Madrid right away again afterwards. You just want to get going. But you know Carlos only asks questions because he cares. Being nine years older than you, he's always been very protective of you. Too protective. But you know it's just because he cares.
He just cares too much, and it makes you angry. It's hard to keep secrets from his honest eyes.
"Because I was invited to hang out more and I haven't seen this friend in a while!" This one is only half a lie.
"Oh..." he slowly nods. "Well... where does this friend live, then? Far enough for you to just stay there, or... I mean, you haven't seen this friend in a while, so I'm assuming they don't live in Madrid?"
"Nothing- er, yeah, we, uh... she lives in, uh, Sigüenza! Yeah, Sigüenza! And, well, you know, she just moved there and there's uh, you know, it's Sigüenza! The cool stuff there, in... Sigüenza..." You've lost it. You're literally pulling sh*t out of thin air now.
And Carlos can tell. "You're lying. Where are you really going?"
"No, no! I am going there! My friend just moved there! There's castles and sh*t she thinks is cool and she wants to show me! And like go around like I think there's a restaurant she likes and... yeah! And then we'd probably just maybe go to a club for an hour or two or something tonight and then go back and hang out at her house!"
Carlos looks thoroughly unsure. "Is it good for you to go to a club...? Be careful..."
"Oh, come on!" You're speaking too quickly. "There'll be a few of us, and we're not stupid! You know that, Carlos! Don't worry about it, we'll be fine! I'm an adult, for God's sake!"
"Well..." he murmurs, "I hope you're not lying to me. I hope you wouldn't do that."
You swallow, but nod, and feel terrible as you say, "Of course I wouldn't. Why would I lie about something like this?"
"I can think of lots of reasons, but I won't get into it." Carlos says with that look of concern still in his eyes. "Well, be careful. I can see you're impatient to go, so I'll let you. Have fun. Te amo, Y/n."
"M-hm!" you say, and rush out the door. You didn't want to be leaving this late, but you figure you'll just have to hope you get there at a reasonable time.
Fermín nods as João (Félix) discussing the upcoming game with him, watching the Portguese man's eyes as he speaks his thoughts. So he catches it when João raises his eyes, looking over Fermín's shoulder.
You grin, bringing your finger to your lips as you walk down the hall towards the two, behind Fermín's back, making eye contact with João. João subtly nods, makes eye contact with Fermín and says, "Nothing. I was just seeing things."
You thoroughly appreciate João's playing along. And his good acting.
"Seeing things?" your sweet boyfriend asks his teammate. You reach Fermín just as he's turning around to look anyway. He he lets out a confused, "Uh- oh!?" noise when you pull him into a hug, before (pretty much) yelling, "Wait, Y/n?!"
You giggle, and nod your thanks to João, who's smiling and practically chuckling himself. He nods and gives a small wave, before turning to saunter away, a smile on his lips. "So, how's my Fermín?" you ask softly.
Your boyfriend hugs you so tight, it slightly hurts, but you don't complain. You're probably hugging him tighter. He's giggling, and starts showering your cheeks with kisses, before exclaiming softly, "Very good, now that you're here! But why are you here, huh? ¡Mi corazón!" He's so adorable about your little surprise arrival. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"
"So it could be a surprise! And so I could see you acting all cute and surprised like this!" You grin up at him, your hand on his chest.
"Stop that!" he laughs, touching his nose to yours, holding you close. But then he gets a little more serious. "How long of a drive was it? I'm assuming you were in Madrid?"
"Madrid to Barbastro? It wasn't so bad. I would drive any difference to get to you, though..."
This makes him chuckle and give you those soft little lovey-dovey eyes that you love to see. He strokes your hair as you rub his back a little, before murmuring, "You were staying with your brother? What did you tell him?"
You smile at this question. Fermín- he always thinks deeply about a situation- especially if it's involving you. He always worries and makes sure everything went well with you. He really cares. "Just told him I'm staying with a friend," you chuckle and add, "In Sigüenza!"
"Sigüenza? Have you ever even been there?" He smiles, clearly amused.
"Uh, maybe, like, once. Not sure if he completely believed me, but I got out of there. So that I could come here and see you! Figured a game like this would be better for me to come to. You know, maybe since it'll be such a small stadium, it'll be actually easier for me to just get in and hide in the crowd."
Fermín nods, gently stroking your cheek, looking into your eyes and says, "If you think so." He's just so focused on taking in your presence.
He leans in and kisses your cheek again, when (of course) Ferran Torres turns the corner, slaps Fermín on his back, and says in a teasing voice with a chuckle, "Got to get going, Fermín. Glad you're having a good time with your girlfriend, but-"
"Oh, Ferran!" you snap, pulling away from your boyfriend to glare at the older man. "Would you shut up?! We haven't seen each other in forever. But I guess you wouldn't get how it feels, since clearly you could never pull-"
"Hey, hey!" Fermín laughs, putting a hand on your shoulder. But he's grinning. He loves your spunk. "Leave the poor guy alone. He's right, corazón. I do have to get going now."
Ferran just waves as he walks off, giggling mischievously. You roll your eyes and turn back to Fermín. "So annoying." But you're grinning. You hug him a last time, peck his lips, and murmur, "I'll go to my seat now. I'm excited to watch you do great out there, mi chico guapo."
He grins and says as he starts to turn to walk the way Ferran walked a minute earlier, "You just watch. I'm going to go out there and score a goal. For you. Okay?"
You grin back and nod as you pull on your mask, hat, and sunglasses- hopefully enough to hide your face from cameras. "I'll be watching for it."
He nods, that lovely adorable little smile on his face, waves to you, blows a kiss, and walks away from you.
Adrenaline fills every cell of your body as the ball hits the back of the net. A goal. But not just any goal.
Your Fermín's goal!
Your muscles send you to your feet, and you cheer, clapping your hands together, watching your boyfriend. You're sitting in a seat very close to the pitch, and you know that if he wanted to, Fermín could come over and hug you right now. But he knows he can't. He understands and respects that you can't be being pointed out. It has to stay a secret.
So, instead, he eyes you, with all the joy in the world.
You grin back, nodding at him. You can't help but giggle.
After the game, you return to Fermín's arms immediately, as if there's a magnetic force between you and him. "Hola, mi prícipe azul," you mutter softly with a little chuckle, before squealing and saying, "You did so good! What a goal! You're amazing!"
"Stop..." he murmurs back, but is clearly loving your praise.
You smile and lean up, about to kiss him, when suddenly your phone starts buzzing and ringing in your back pocket. You hesitate, eyes locked with your boyfriend's, before sighing and leaning away. You slip your phone out of your pocket. "Oh..." you stare at the screen. "It's Carlos."
Fermín nods understandingly and leans away. "I'll keep quiet. I know you have to answer it."
You nod, sending him a grateful smile, before leaning against the wall and answering the phone with a bubbly, "¡Eh, Carlos! ¿Cómo te va?" You hope you don't sound so cheery that is sounds like you're faking it. Well, it's not like you're not happy. You are!
Carlos completely ignores your question, cutting right to the chase. "Where are you?"
"Uh...? I'm at my friend's house. In Sigüenza. Why?"
"Really?" Carlos asks slowly. "How far of a drive is it from Barbastro to Sigüenza? Because I doubt it's under fifteen minutes."
You feel your heart drop to your stomach, and you lean more heavily on the wall behind you as your knees start to shake. Fermín sees this and takes a step toward you. He opens his mouth to say something, but you prevent that with simply a shake of your head. You swallow and put on a confused voice as you respond to your brother, "Sorry...?"
"You heard me. Y/n, what the hell? Why the hell did you lie to me? Why the hell are you in Barbastro? Why the hell are you at a Barcelona game, instead of on the sofa next to me right now?"
"Listen-" you cough, nervousness pounding in your head. Your eyes sprout tears, but you wipe them. Fermín- bless his heart- puts a hand on your shoulder, and gives you the eyes that seem to say, Just say the word, and I'll stand up for you.
You give your boyfriend another quick nod before responding into the phone, lies coming to your brain naturally, on the spot, "Listen, Carlos. I'm sorry for not telling you. My friend in Sigüenza I guess is a fan, and she thought it'd be so fun for us to all go to the game together. So, you know, there wasn't much I could argue with when someone buys you a ticket to a football game. You... You know? I'm sorry for lying. I really am. I just didn't tell you because I knew you'd be upset. You know, about me going to FC Barcelona's game instead of staying home with my family and watching Real Madrid's the night before. I really am sorry, Carlos. I hope you'll... forgive me. But... How did you even know I was at the game... Carlos?" You swallow, waiting for the answer. Fermín takes your hand and give it a gentle squeeze.
"The television showed you. Over and over. The commentators were pretty fascinated to see Y/n Sainz at a Barcelona game. Especially the one in Barbastro."
"Oh, f*ck that!" you snap. "My f*cking disguise didn't even work! Why don't they get their stupid cameras out of my life for once! Ugh!" you say angrily. Fermín gently rubs your shoulder, which is at least some ounce of comfort. "So, what? How did you see it, anyway? Have you just been caught red-handed watching a Barcelona game, too?"
"No. I was flipping channels, and there you were. But there's still something that's not making sense." Your eyebrows scrunch together as your grip on Fermín's hand tightens. Was there a hole in your lies that you missed...? Then Carlos asks, "Where were your friends?"
The lump in your throat grows larger. "What do you mean?"
"You were sitting next to some fat old man with a jersey from twenty years ago and a bunch of snotty kids on the other side-" Carlos has never been one to go out of his way to compliment anything associating with football club Barcelona. "-so where were your friend sitting, then?"
It feels as if all the muscles in your body flex at this one. Your mind goes blank, desperately searching for yet another lie to save yourself from telling your older brother the truth. It's like you've dug yourself in a hole that you're desperately trying to climb out of. It feels like you've nearly reached the top-
but your hand just slipped, plummeting you straight back down to the bottom, where you started.
And you break.
Tears stream down your face, and Fermín immediately tries to grab the phone from you, but you pull it away, swallowing as you blubber into the phone, "I don't know, Carlos... Okay... I don't know..."
There's a second or two of silence on the other end, before Carlos says, now in a more tender, less interrogating voice, "Y/n, all I asked is where your friend are. Is everything okay? Are you alright? Y/n, you're worrying me..."
"Please, Carlos... I'm fine... Just... Please..."
"Can you please just tell me the truth?"
"No..." you sniff, leaning into Fermín more and more. "I can't, because you'll be mad at me... It will ruin our relationship..." You don't know if you're talking about your relationship with Carlos or your relationship with Fermín.
"This is ruining our relationship! You keeping stuff from me! Y/n, you're my little sister! I don't want anything bad to happen to you! Just tell me what's wrong, and I can help!"
"You're the one making it all wrong. If you'd just leave me alone-"
"No. Y/n, you need to be honest with me right now, okay?"
"No, I don't. I don't, and I f*cking won't." At this, you hang up and fall into Fermín's arms.
He holds you there, close to his chest, before whispering, "I'm sorry..."
You look up slowly, sniffing, and wipe your eyes. It doesn't do much, since your tears are still coming. "For what?" you whisper. "You've done nothing wrong... It's just... Everything is messed up. Nothing went how I wanted it to... Fermín, I'm scared."
His eyes are tender, and he strokes your cheek. "My Y/n... I hate to see you cry. There's nothing to be scared of." He puts his arm around your back and starts leading you down the hall. "If Carlos finds out, Carlos finds out. He loves you, and you know that. I know you've spent all your energy hiding this, but mistakes happen, okay? I'll be by your side, but what's done is done." You nod, wiping up your soaked face with your hands, and let him lead you, until you get to the street. He sighs and murmurs, "F*ck. Missed the bus back to the hotel..."
"Oh..." a wave of guilt washes over you. "Fermín, I'm sorry... Isn't your team worried about you?"
"No, no. Don't worry about it. Either they completely missed my absence, or they got the memo that my girlfriend has just arrived and I might have other plans. Let's hope it's the second one, because that would be just a tad bit too silly if they just flat out forgot about me." There's a teasing tone in his voice, in an attempt to lighten the mood. Make you feel better. "You drove here? Where is your car?"
"Oh... yeah, right..." you sigh. After all the rush and emotions, you completely forgot you had your car here. You glance to Fermín, and catch in his expectant eyes a glint of excitement, too. You smile softly, understanding completely what this is from. You roll your eyes. "And no, Fermín. I didn't pull up in a Ferrari. That would draw too much attention." You can't blame him for being excited. You have driven a Ferrari before, (and many other super sick vehicles) and you know Fermín would love to go for a spin in one (or another of the insane sports cars you've driven.)
Fermín thinks they're cool, and as the daughter of Carlos Sainz Sr. and the sister of Carlos Sainz Jr., you tend to be able to get your hands on some pretty luxurious cars, it just so happens. And it's not like your family (especially your brother) won't jump at the drop of a hat to lend you something like that. You're Carlos's baby sister, and he'd do anything to treat you. So when you take advantage of that, every so often Fermín gets to go for a ride.
And you suppose Carlos has no idea of that.
Yet.
And just like that, you feel nauseous again.
When you arrive at Fermín's hotel room, you immediately both put on pajamas and get into bed. All night, he holds you close, never letting go. You lean your head against his chest, basking in the comfort. He knows it's hard. He understands what you're going through.
"Te amo," he whispers, just as you're drifting off to sleep. You never get a chance to say it back, because you're asleep before you can.
"I'm coming back to Barcelona with you."
"Lo siento, ¿qué?" Fermín asks, his head whipping up from tying the drawstrings of his sweatpants as he exits the hotel bathroom. His light pink lips are slightly parted as he stares at you, eyebrows raised.
"You heard me. I'm coming back to Barcelona with you," you repeat, locking eyes with him.
Fermín crosses the room and slips onto the hotel bed next to you, gently placing his hand on your thigh. "Mi corazón..." he mutters. "Of course I would never complain- I would love it if you came back to Barcelona with me. But don't you think that's not the best idea? Don't you have things to deal with back home in Madrid?"
You hesitate and mutter. "Sure I do. But I'd rather come with you back to Barcelona."
He frowns, nodding. "When are you going to go back to Madrid? And what will you tell your brother?"
Suddenly you snap, slipping out of bed, "I don't care, Fermín! And I don't plan to tell my brother anything! I know he'll call, but he can't make me pick up. I'm sick of him pretending like he's in charge of my life!"
"Y/n, come on. We both know he just cares about you. You know how worried sick he'll be if you randomly cut off communications and don't even tell him what happened to you. You can't do that to him. I know if my sibling did that to me, I'd be worried sick, too, and you and Carlos are very close. And he's much older than you. You know how he thinks of you. You can't do that to your brother," he tries, looking for eye contact. But you continue looking down.
"Fermín, no." You speak quietly, but firmly. "I won't. I'm scared, and I don't want to deal with him right now. And I know you said you'd be by my side, but I know you can't be. You can't possibly come to Madrid with me, and then get back to Barcelona."
Fermín sighs, and takes your chin, forcing you to look him in his eyes. "I understand you want to avoid your brother, but you can't have him worrying like that. It's just not right. He's only so concerned and protective because he cares, Y/n."
Your jaw clenches. You try to look away, but he doesn't let you. You swallow, looking at him, and murmur, realizing there's not much you can do, "Alright. Can we compromise?"
Fermín looks a little surprised at your sudden giving in, but nods. "Maybe. What are you thinking?"
You sigh. "I come back to Barcelona with you, but I still text Carlos. But I tell him I won't call, and if he wants to talk to me, he has to come to Barcelona himself and do it."
Fermín's immediate reaction is to protest with, "You expect him to drive from Madrid to Barcelona? You know how long of a trip that is!"
"Well, too bad, Fermín!" you snap. "It's what I'm willing to do! If he cares enough, he'll drive up. And trust me- he does."
Your boyfriend frowns, considering this, and finally nods. "Okay, then... I guess it's fair enough." And that's that.
You sit between Fermín's legs on the couch, watching the television as you munch on buttered popcorn and Fermín plays with/braids your hair. It's been three weeks since when Barcelona faced off with Barbastro, and since then all you've communicated with your brother is that if he wants to discuss anything with you, he's got to come to Barcelona and do it himself.
Do you miss your older brother? Yes. Yes, you one hundred percent do. Are you scared of your brother's attitude and reaction? Yes. Yes, you one hundred percent are.
As Fermín leans close, now stroking your arm with one hand, your phone buzzes in your lap. You give the bowl of popcorn to your boyfriend and pick up your phone.
You stare in shock at what you read on your phone. Fermín leans over and reads the text from Carlos along with you:
Carlos: I just arrived in Barcelona. I'm hoping we can meet somewhere in the morning, if you're not busy? I've been worrying lots
Fermín's hand gently moves to your waist, and after a few seconds, he whispers, "What will you do, my Y/n?"
"I don't know..." you sigh in hesitation.
"Can I make a suggestion?"
You look up at him from behind, meeting his eyes. You can't help but giggle at each other. He sighs, before turning serious again and saying, "Just send him my address and tell him to be around at 9:00 A.M."
"Fermín!" you snap, as though he's a complete lunatic. "You think we can just do it, just like that?!"
"Sure," he nods, cool headed. "I'm not scared of him, just because he drives cars fast and he's got big muscles. I run fast and... have slightly less big muscles than him." He grins, and you can't help but smile, too, at this. Fermín has a way of making serious things light-hearted. "Anyway, if you do it this way, I'll be there with you. Maybe it'd be easier to show him rather than tell. And I'll do the talking that you're still nervous to do. I will." He looks at you with sincere eyes.
You stare ahead, considering this for a while as Fermín slowly and absentmindedly rubs your thigh. Finally you sigh and mutter, "I guess that's the best thing... It's a shame it has come to this."
Fermín laughs softly, shaking his head, but you don't mind it. "You knew that at some point it would come to this. Y/n, you know this will be fine. It will be. I promise. Your brother loves you too much to do any of the stupid things you're scared of happening."
You frown, but then turn around hug him tightly. "Okay... Fermín." You look him in the eyes. "Okay. I know. It's still nerve-racking, though."
"I know, I know," he responds.
You sigh, take out your phone, and, despite yourself, text him.
Fermín gives your upper thigh a little pat.
You look up and study his handsome, lovely face for a few seconds, before kissing him all over. He lets you, chuckling a little. He always seems to laugh when you show him lots of affection, and you love it.
And before long, the two of you are fast asleep there.
When the doorbell rings at 9:01 A.M., your heart drops to your stomach. You knew it would happen. You prepared yourself. But you still can't help but shiver with nervous.
Fermín is trying making breakfast, and you're sitting at the island in the kitchen. He looks up from the food and is about to speak, but you say before he can, in a hurried tone, "I'll get it. You just stay here and keep making breakfast."
He hesitates for a moment, but then nods. "Alright... Call if you need me. And he's welcome to come in, too."
You nod and then head to the door. You exhale slowly, before opening the door.
Immediately, you're wrapped in a huge bear hug from your strong older brother, and he snaps, "What the hell? Why have you been avoiding me like this?! Are you embarrassed? It's fine! I've thought about it, and if you're dating a Barcelona fan that's fine... As long as he's a good guy, it shouldn't matter that much, right?"
You blink in surprise, leaning back, away from him, and meet his eyes, which are very similar to your own in shape and color. He's not stupid. Clearly he's tried to figure it out. But the concept of me dating an actual player for the club is so ridiculous, he just expects it's some random culer dude? Just this concept makes your heart (which was already in your stomach) seem to fall down to your knees. You swallow and awkwardly smile. If you could speak, you would, but no words whatsoever come to mind, and your mouth feels much too dry to form any words.
"So... I'm assuming this is his flat? Is he here? Can I meet him? What's his name?"
You allow yourself to breathe a little, and swallow. "Yes, this is his flat... And he's here... In the kitchen... You- You can meet him..." You open the door wide for him, and have to try a few times, before your voice finally allows you to call, "Fer- Fermín!"
"Fer...mín? That's his name?" your older brother asks. You nod slowly meeting his eyes again. You can't imagine that Carlos would know who Fermín is... right? It's not like a gives really any of his attention to any football club other than Real Madrid... Perhaps just the name sounds familiar? Well, it's not like Fermín has a super uncommon name or anything...
Your head is starting to hurt from all this overthinking. You swallow. "Yeah, yeah... That's his name."
You watch with dread (which you never though you'd feel at the sight of him) as your boyfriend enters the room. He has a smile on his face, but he's eyebrows are knitted together.
For a moment, the two stand there.
It's strange, for you. Here are (probably) the two people you care about most. The two people you spend the most time with, the two's whose opinions you value the most. Here they are, together. Two who you care about so much, but have always been separate. And you've always kept it that way.
It feels off, to have the two in the same room, right here, in front of you.
Their heights don't differ much, but Fermín's younger, gentler features contrast with Carlos. Fermín has lighter, nicer kept hair, while your brother of course has the same shock of dark hair you have, and right now, it's grown out a bit, curling at his ears.
You stare at the two.
You swallow as something like very vague recognition is reflected on Carlos's face. He says slowly, holding his hand out to shake Fermín's, "Hola... Have we met before...?"
You can't help but shake your head a little. Carlos, not recognizing a first team Barcelona player when he's right in front of him.
Or, pretty much first team, anyway.
A (cute) little nervous crooked smile appears on your boyfriend's face. He sends you a brief little glance with only those chocolate brown eyes, before looking back to Carlos. He shakes his hand as he swallows and says, "Well, you know, I... uh, I actually play for FC Barcelona."
Carlos opens his mouth, shuts it, and opens it again. "Okay..." he says slowly. "That... It makes sense, now... that Y/n was at the game in Barbastro..." he seems to be talking more to himself. He glances to you, and his eyes linger, before shifting back to Fermín and saying, "Fermín... Fermín Gómez...?"
That crooked little smile appears on Fermín's face again. "López."
You watch as your older brother nods, and then looks to you slowly. "Y/n, can I...?" he trails off, glancing to Fermín.
Fermín seems to get the hint that you didn't even pick up and nods, saying, "I'll go finish making breakfast. Carlos and Y/n, you're welcome to just stay here in the living room." He gives a cute little awkward smile, and walks out of the room.
Now you don't want him to go.
But your brother gently takes your wrist and tows you to the couch, forcing your eyes to wander from the doorway that Fermín just left through. You look to Carlos and swallow. Those eyes. So incredibly earnest. "You're not... mad?" you murmur softly.
"Mad? I'm disappointed you hid it from me, and didn't trust me. A part of me doesn't feel right about you dating a Barcelona player, but it's not like the club someone is playing for decides how good of a boyfriend he is, or if he's meant to be with my sister or not. I'm shocked- I was expecting it's a Barcelona fan, not a player. But whatever..." He trails off, swallows, and finishes, "No. No, I'm not mad."
"Oh... Oh, okay... I'm... I'm sorry."
He nods, not looking at you. "I forgive you. I'm sorry, too. There had to have been a reason why you didn't trust me. So I'm sorry."
You say, "I forgive you," though you're not even one hundred percent sure what you're forgiving him for.
If you thought introducing just your older brother to Fermín was just terrible, introducing him to your whole family is like actual hell.
Fermín keeps his arms tightly around your shoulders as you sit on your couch. You feel stiff and rigid as Fermín manages the awkward questions and empty small talk. Your family is always so open, but with Carlos insisting everyone meet Fermín here, it's unnatural.
Why don't they accept him? They accept other people's friends, girlfriends, etc., much easier. Fermín is acting so sweet and polite.. like he always does... What don't they like about him?
Unlike Carlos, do they really care that much about stupid football club rivalries? Gosh, there are plenty of fans of different clubs who get on just fine.
How is Fermín being a player any different?
He's a culer, just like any fan, right? I mean, I don't know what I am. Am I a culer?
Who cares? I'm Fermín López's girlfriend and Carlos Sainz Sr.'s daughter. Think that's enough for one person!
Suddenly you're pulled out of your racing mind when Fermín's hand settles on your waist and he says, "...right, Y/n?"
"Uh, huh?" you ask, looking at Fermín just as he pecks your lips with a little laugh. You blush and murmur, "Gosh, Fermín, not here."
But he pulls you tighter to his side and says with a soft, slightly defiant little smirk, "I'm so happy that you all have accepted me as Y/n's boyfriend, Sainz family." The faces of your family members span from confused to uncomfortable to (only a few of them) genuinely accepting. But Fermín adds with a chuckle, kissing your cheek, "Although, of course, your opinions, or anyone's, about our relationship doesn't matter to me." He meets your eyes with those deep brown ones.
You swallow and nod, getting up the courage in that moment to respond with, "Yeah, Fermín... You know, I think I agree with you..."
#fermin lopez#fermín lópez#fermín lópez fanfic#fermín lópez imagines#fermín lópez imagine#im really not in the mood to be writing tags rn#oh well#fc barcelona#barcelona#fermín lópez fan fic#fermín lópez fanfiction#fermín lópez fluff#fermin lopez x reader#fermin x reader#fermin lopez imagine#ferran torres#fermin lopez fluff#fermin lopez x you#joao felix#fermin lopez fanfic#fcb#fc barça#fc barca#carlos sainz#la liga#madrid#real madrid#barça#barcelona one shot#barcelona imagine
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Moon Arcanum Callum + Sun Arcanum Claudia in S7?
Callum getting the Moon arcanum has been a fandom... not theory, but shall we say, prospect, since even before S4. Some of this was because of the seeming set up in previous seasons, such as:
Callum having a hunch that the cube wasn't glowing due to the Moon, and being our first hint at illusions on the Cursed Caldera (1x09)
Lujanne explaining the secret of the arcanum (as she understands it) to him in 2x02
Callum doing moon arcanum spells (3x08, Through the Moon) much the way he did Sky spells before unlocking that arcanum
Callum employing aspects of the Moon arcanum in his plans (3x01 with tricking Sol Regem, creating the illusion pearl in 6x01)
His growing relationship and understanding with Rayla, and potential involvement with her family/village
But especially:
This is of course already reflected in spades in his arc as a mage. Everyone, Lujanne included, believes that humans can't do magic. She treats this as absolute fact and destiny, but Callum perceives it as subjective truth; why can't he just make his own connection and do magic anyway? And in doing so, he changes the world. He creates a radically new, better reality.
With season seven's synopsis on sacrifice and life and death, both things we see tied heavily to Moonshadow culture and the Moon itself, I could see Callum connecting to the Moon arcanum next season for a few reasons (and potentially Claudia with the Sun arcanum, which I'll get to after). So let's get into it.
Precursor
Previously, if Callum was going to connect to the Moon arcanum, I'd speculated it'd mostly be around ideas of the consistency of Love (light or dark, the moon is always the moon) and his love for Rayla being his light in the darkness / the one constant truth of his life. I don't think this anymore, obviously, because we got all those things through the Star truth light ritual beat for beat and we're not going to be repeating, but I did think it'd be worthwhile then to revisit what a Moon arcanum could mean for Callum under new context / emotional epiphanies. I've also always thought either Earth or Sun would suit Claudia, but leaned more towards the latter, so we're gonna talk about that, too.
Truth and Lies and Aaravos
As Lujanne explains in 2x02, the Moon arcanum is understanding the true nature of the relationship between appearances and reality, and we can only understand the appearance itself. This feels like a very fitting idea to come back to with Aaravos, who ostensibly never lies but routinely withholds or presents not entirely correct information. "How may I serve you?" when you're just going to be a pawn. Not telling a mourning Claudia that he was indeed the one who killed Viren so that she'll continue to do his bidding, with Claudia asserting that Aaravos "didn't lie" about the ritual in 6x01, and he didn't. We also see him wield the truth as a weapon with people like Khessa ("would you like to know the truth of her fate before you meet yours?") and Sol Regem (more on that here.)
Everything that he says is truth to him, and then he lifts it up as being objectively true (i.e. you're destined to play into my hands) even when it isn't necessarily true. We can also see Callum veering into mindsets that Claudia and Viren have had, where he believes he's past the point of saving ("I'm ruined, it's too late for me" "Promise me you'll kill me") or removing his own agency by admission ("Finnegrin was going to kill you, I didn't have a choice" / "Every step forward is a choice").
Callum understanding Aaravos' or others' actual truths versus their lies and the ones he's believing could be very fitting in S6, especially if he might be learning more about the existence of the Cosmic Council and who made their world the way it is. I think his existence may help lead to that "slow spiral of chaos" but that it won't be just or even Bad at all the way they'd feared, etc.
Claudia is also linked to lies and truth. She lies to others, but Aaravos notes that "If you tell the truth you will lose her," and she goes looking for her own deep truth in S6, but doesn't seem to fully find it. Terry asks her "What do you need to find your one deep truth?" and Claudia says that she needs her dad, but she and her mother have also made it clear that she "needed to stay with Soren" and her family (vs Viren telling her to pick the egg over Soren). With Viren gone and Aaravos manipulating her, Soren could easily be one of her guiding lights next season or in future seasons.
The Pearl
The moon is analogous, framing/appearance wise, to the prison. This is alluded to in 5x09 through framing, and then made even more direct in 6x09: Aaravos escapes his prison thanks to Claudia and (unbeknownst to her) she has become the prisoner, much like how Callum may physically free himself from chains in 5x08 but magically/emotionally chains himself further to Aaravos, or Viren shouting while in chains that he's finally free of the dark puppetmaster.
Basically, when Callum says in 6x01 that he's inside the pearl, I don't think (as of S6 / probably first half of S7 at least) that he's ever gotten out of it. Aaravos uses him even after his nightmare, and we know thanks to the pawn intro that Aaravos' final machinations for Callum also haven't yet come to play. I've been wondering if the Aaravos intro is going to change in S7, since he's out of his prison — and it still may — but if we look at it from the angle of Callum and Claudia both being stuck within the moon/pearl rather than just Aaravos himself, maybe it could stay.
And if Callum is stuck inside the moon-pearl, shattering it by understanding the arcanum ("the whole world is like a giant primal stone, and we're inside of it, and it's also in us") and/or with Claudia moving to the opposite of the moon could be useful, especially since Karim is a corrupted sun in his own way. Speaking of which let's talk about
Light and Dark
We know thanks to Claudia that black and white, or light and dark, are not always clear cut. Her hair thanks to her dark magic use changes like phases of the moon, with the light being bad and the dark being good. Conversely, her path is a dark one with the path of truth and light being withheld from her. In a similar manner, we see Callum's light (Rayla) being what led him into dark magic use and what led him out of it, and will likely see this pattern play out again. Aaravos is a representation of a path of darkness, but we also see the cube flashing a bright light in the pawn intro, tying light and darkness together for him as well.
Callum's understanding of himself that he gained through the Ocean arcanum can not simply become untrue or disappear, so I think recognizing that darkness isn't all he is ("I'm ruined" / "your heart's not full of darkness" "Neither is yours") even if there are dark parts of him and of his life would be fitting. It also seems that could be helpful with Claudia as well, and even characters like Ezran, who will have to wrestle with darker parts of his emotions/personality next season as well with Runaan. They've all got light and dark inside them, and learning how to walk in that balance and still break away from the Cycle / Aaravos is useful. As Ezran said in 4x03:
I just want to yell stop. But that’s not enough. It won’t work. I think about a positive vision, a faith we can all share, that we might build a future together in hope. A future where we can be safe with each other. But… It’s not that easy or simple. Because people are still hurting and they are still angry. We can’t ignore that, or pretend it will go away. Somehow, we have to hold it all in our hearts at the same time. We have to acknowledge the weight of the pain and loss, but open up our eyes and allow ourselves to hope and maybe forgive and love again. We have to give today’s children a chance to inherit a future filled with peace. To give them that, we have to hold pain and love in our hearts at the same time.
Claudia's love for her family led her to ruin, but it can also save her through Soren. Callum's love for Rayla led him to ruin, but it has also saved him (and again, we'll likely repeat this pattern). Ezran's love for his father will lead him to anger but also pull him out of it, just as Viren's love for his son caused him to begin his journey of terrible things, but also guided him to do one final, truly right thing by the end.
Love is light and dark. Claudia, who's been walking in shadow, needs the full light - the sun, in the form of her brother. She needs to accept and see the truth of what's happening and step fully into the light. Callum, who has been routinely worried of the dark within him, needs to the reminder that he's not all he is, that he has light of his own inside. In doing so, he can break Aaravos' control over him and give hope to any other dark mages / humans in general that no level of corruption is too late to come back from, and that there is always light amid the darkness.
Life and Death
The stakes have never been higher as Aaravos and Claudia are on the warpath, determined to destroy the Cosmic Order and invert life and death. With the world’s fate on the line, our heroes must be ready to sacrifice everything to save it.
In Bloodmoon Huntress, we get a very different peek into how the secret of the Moon arcanum can be thought of through Runaan, who is peak Moonshadow-sacrifice elf man:
Moonshadow form is only achieved when we understand the balance of life against death. Balance is weight against weight, and to understand the weight of death you must feel the weight and value of another's life. Think of those you love, of who you hold most dear. Now think of the souls who have touched your life. Understand that each time your weapon meets its target, each time we fulfil our duty, the potential for that soul to change a life—to love another—is gone. We may remove hate, but we remove the potential for love as well. Moonshadow form is only achieved when we reconcile this balance between life and death.
While Claudia with her hair and dark mage-assassin parallels could unlock the Moon arcanum—especially if her perspectives continue to change—I think Callum as the Protagonist is better placed at this time to be the one to understand the balance between life and death in a season where the antagonists are trying to invert/destroy it. Him therefore understanding appearances and changes, how to control his own and see through others', understanding that balance between life and death, feels very fitting.
Callum's fear of Aaravos and dark magic comes from the fear that he's changing—"I hope you're careful, cause [magic] can change people" / "the corruption takes innocent creatures and changed them"—and that death would be better for him than life if he goes too far. Learning these things aren't the case and that he can get back to the middle (and indeed, "real trust is about accepting even the dark parts we will never know" could be about Rayla accepting he may not entirely swear off dark magic again, the same way Viren kept that door open to do Good) would be useful.
It would also mean the two mage characters most drawn into Aaravos' darkness get the Moon and Sun—the arcanums most associated with light—to banish said darkness as well. Claudia finally being an uncorrupted light and chasing life, not death, and Callum, learning how to be balanced and that he can maintain his identity / use Aaravos' book and key without fearing that he'll lose control.
The fact that Claudia's eclipse imagery only started the same episode she lost her brother, and that her Laurelion dragon-scale necklace is very Sunfire-y looking...
Conclusion
TDP for Callum and Claudia has always felt like a parallel coming-of-age mage story between the two of them, leading to the amount of similarities and diverging plot beats the two have, down to doing the same spell at the same time but in different locations in S6. The Sun arcanum is associated with truth, light, and healing, whereas the Moon arcanum is associated with change, life + death, and secrets/love. All of these things could be nicely brought to a head with Callum and Claudia each unlocking an arcanum of Moon and Sun respectively, showcasing their differences, their continued room to grow, and light amid the darkness.
While I could see alternatives like Sun for Callum and Moon for Claudia, Stars for Callum or no arcanum for either of them, I think these are the ones that fit best at this time / Stars will likely get saved for arc 3 given that arc 3 will probably focus more on rewriting destinies and the Cosmic Order as antagonists.
As always hope you enjoy and Dragons out!
#the dragon prince#tdp claudia#tdp callum#callum x claudia#moon arcanum callum truther#tdp#predictions#arc 2#s7 speculation#tdp theory#sort of#tdp spoilers#bc of synopsis#theme: duality#s7 wishlist#honestly yeah#callum#claudia
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Tags: Dad!Leon(Older), Leon is the girl's father; fluff.
Warning: There are none.
He was really afraid of becoming a father. It's not so much the news of your pregnancy that scares him, but the likelihood that an innocent child may be harmed. His child. Leon is paranoid to worry about you and the baby. He'll probably get drunk before he puts that thought in his head. Don't get him wrong, he wants a family, he had plans after completing the police academy to get married in a few years and have two children, he still wants a family, but his fear devours this desire entirely because he knows that if something happens to the child and you one day, he just won't survive it.
It takes two to tango so I don't think he'll start getting angry and blaming you for everything. Leon just needs a little time, but when this happens and he thinks it over, he will want to transport you to some place that he thinks is safe.
You might have to get into a long debate with him, but this guy doesn't want anything like the Winters family to happen to his family. If someone kidnaps his child, he will simply go wild.
Due to the fact that he is a government agent, all information about you is classified. Also, if a bioterrorist attack suddenly occurs, you will be quickly evacuated along with your child. At least that's what Leon wants to believe.
The house will be nice and simple (perhaps like the Baker's house but without additional extensions) I think Leon likes something classic and cozy rather than modern and abstract. It is unlikely that you will be against it, especially since he does not skimp on quality items and excellent appliances.
Your child will definitely have a great room at all stages of growing up. But when the baby is born, Leon will still insist that the baby girl sleep next to him and with you for the first time. He would have put her in the middle of the bed, but since it was not safe, he agreed to just put the crib on his side. He's just calmer that way.
“Look, I found a catalog with a whole selection of cribs. There are different options, classic, round, even some very strange ones, what position should the child lie in?”
You will laugh, but in the end you will find the right option. Not too expensive, but first you need to explain to Leon that the baby in the first months of life will definitely not be whimsical in which bed he sleeps on. Leon, of course, knows this, as well as the fact that many of the toys that he has already ordered will not be needed by his daughter until at least six months, but he cannot do anything about it.
Choosing a name is a whole challenge. You two will have a debate about this when you find out the gender of the baby. Leon will want a simple name and will roll his eyes when you read him rare names from your notebook.
"Laura, Mary, Ashley, Sarah, Jessica, Kate? These names are for weaklings! Need something crazy and original, right?"
It will really be difficult, but he will win and his daughter will have a normal name.
When his baby is born and Leon holds her for the first time… you will see tears running down his cheeks. He would have kissed this pink, swaddled bundle of joy, but he just sat there, held her in his arms and cried from the fact that he was now the father of a little girl.
This girl will be lucky as hell. Her father would literally give her the whole world at her whim so you're a little worried that she might grow up spoiled. However, while she is a baby, your only problem is the fact that your daughter loves to be held in her arms because Leon constantly carries her around the house, showing her things and telling her some stories.
Leon will wake up at the first cry and immediately try to calm her down. Change a diaper? hungry? If you are not breastfeeding, Leon will easily prepare the formula and feed her. Sometimes you think that he is a better mother than you.
The best toys, a special children's area when your daughter begins to explore the world around her, beautiful and comfortable onesies. Your daughter will definitely have a bodysuit with the inscription "daddy's princess"
A stern special agent in the White House and on missions, Leon becomes an affectionate bear at home.
He is a truly caring dad. Watching cartoons with her, coloring coloring books, playing games when she grows up. This child is the only person who can attack him from behind and Leon’s reflexes simply won’t work.
Often he needs your help and advice on what to do best. He will especially need your help when her first childhood love and first broken heart happen. Because he can get really angry at anyone who causes his baby any pain. He really doesn’t understand how it’s possible not to love her, but more on that later.
At the age of 3-6 years, Leon can only be seriously shocked by some accidental injury or illness. Be serious but he will panic even if it is a common cold. You will have to work hard so that he doesn’t drop all his business and take your daughter straight to the doctors for all the examinations. Of course, you will dissuade him, but he will repeatedly check the baby while she is in bed. He will kiss her on the forehead and lie with her for a while so that she does not worry (even if she was initially calm). It would also literally break his heart if Leon heard you sneeze.
She will definitely be daddy's princess. She almost literally walks on his head, does her dad's hair with pink bobby pins and combs his bangs, and paints his nails with polish. Leon allows her to do almost everything to him. But of course he won't come to work with pink nail polish.
Support any hobby. It could be dancing, drawing or playing football. The main thing is that she likes it herself.
What Leon definitely won’t allow is to look into his safe where he stores weapons and ammunition. The password will be complex and only he will know it. This is one of the few things that Leon forbids his child.
He, of course, loves his baby and is ready to do anything for her, but… he won’t have a second child. Every time he returns home, a terrible thought comes to his mind: “What if something terrible happens to my family.” He often has a nightmare in which you and your daughter have turned into zombies, so he will need a drink.
I think one day, when your daughter woke up, she left her room and went down to the first floor, holding in her hands the plush bunny with whom she usually sleeps. She saw her father sitting at the table with a bottle of whiskey as he simply looked thoughtfully into his glass.
Leon, of course, immediately noticed her and looked at her. God, tears will immediately flow from his eyes when he stretches out his hands to her and your daughter runs to him. His arms wrap her tightly in his arms and pull her onto his lap. You will see this picture and the perplexed look of children's blue eyes turned to you when your husband is just sitting at the table, holding his beloved child and crying because he is fucking AFRAID!
You understand why Leon behaves this way. He finds it difficult to get rid of these thoughts because of his job. He survived Raccoon City, Tall Oaks, saved the president's daughter in Spain from parasite-infected fanatics, and a whole bunch of other crap that you probably don't even know about. He has every reason to be afraid and sometimes you regret that you did this to him. Although you know that Leon loves your daughter with him, the very thought that something like this will happen to her simply destroys him to the core.
Your little girl wipes the tears from his cheeks and kisses her daddy on the cheek, telling him that he doesn’t need to cry. Leon simply presses her too tightly, feeling her scent. If he could put an end to zombies and their creators once and for all…
Leon will take her and you back to the bedroom. Next to the two of you, he will be able to sleep a little peacefully, but you know that his sleep is never sound.
You try to talk to him but he pushes you away. He really loves you, but he hates it when people mess with his brain. Of course, whiskey is a bad medicine and Leon himself does not want his daughter to find out that her dad sometimes has the weakness to drink, thereby ignoring his problems, but still… no matter how hard he tries to be perfect, he is not perfect.
When your daughter goes to school, Leon will rejoice at any of her successes. She will also help with homework as much as needed. He will explain everything in detail, clearly and without shouting (sorry, this is a sore subject for me).
He will not always be able to attend school events, unlike you, but if possible he will not miss them. However, he asks you to record everything on camera.
Oh yes, on his desk at home there is a framed family photo of the three of you in the park, joyful and carefree.
So, adolescence is…complicated. Leon understands that his baby will begin to grow up and has no problem organizing small changes in her room. And he also understands that hormones are coming into play. Sometimes screams and anger accompanied by loud slamming of the door are simply inevitable.
That's the time when he can really start to get angry and swear in response, so you realize you need to cool his temperament… The truth is that you really have to punish your daughter when she crosses all boundaries.
Nevertheless, if something suddenly happens, she will always run to Leon, knowing that he will protect her. He may be angry, but as mentioned above, he will do everything possible so that nothing happens to his family.
Partying with friends at night? Absolutely not! Never! Have pity on the old man's heart. Leon will find a bunch of reasons not to let her go anywhere at night. After all, there will be alcohol, shitty guys who can offend her or get her drunk and take advantage of this by ruining her life. Perhaps Leon will exaggerate, but until the age of 16 he will definitely be adamant about this. Sometimes being the daughter of a government agent just isn't possible.
And then, before letting her go to the party, he will sit her down on the sofa and give her a long lecture, telling her to always watch her drink, drink only what she pours for herself or is poured in front of her. If are distracted, do not drink under any circumstances, but take another glass! If someone pesters her, he will show several self-defense techniques and immediately tell to call him. Well, the cherry on the cake - he still won’t allow her to stay there all night. He also won’t bother with calls, but she will need to respond to all his SMS, if not… he will come right away.
Even you yourself will get tired of this overprotection, realizing that Leon often goes too far.
But you ask your daughter to be more lenient towards her father, because he is simply worried about her life. However, when you are young and have not seen what Leon saw, it is difficult to understand his actions and behavior.
There will be conflicts and there will be a lot of them.
The only thing that can make your daughter understand the actions of her father is if someone kidnaps her and confronts her with the infected, forcing her father to go to another wilderness inhabited by the infected. (bad version of events).
Leon will immediately go after her, promising you that he will return her safe and sound. He remembers how he saved Ashley, but she was already an adult girl and not a teenager who, at most, had seen horror films on TV.
Leon, like Barry or Ethan, is ready to kick the ass of any bastard who hurts his baby. In any case, he will do everything to save her.
I imagine this concept as a teenage girl hiding behind her father's back, holding on to his kurta or vest while he shoots enemies, sometimes throwing improvised objects like bottles or stones, stunning the opponents.
After returning home, she will hug you tightly and cry for the hundredth time, promising her father that she will no longer contradict him.
There is no need to say what condition Leon himself will be in after this personal rescue mission. All three of you will experience extreme stress after what happened.
In a good scenario, bypassing the kidnapping, peace between father and daughter would most likely have come much later, when the teenage years would have been long behind us. Probably this realization would have come to her when her naive view of the world ceased to be naive and she began to understand what her father had been struggling with for many years.
Oh yes, about first love. Leon would definitely be vigilant and keep a close eye on everything. He has a whole database and he will immediately run through all the boy’s data, having learned everything about him, and yet he doesn’t really like the idea that some dubious guy is hunting for his daughter.
If Leon realizes that this is an ordinary bastard who runs after every skirt… well, he will find a way to take him away from his treasure. If not and he's just a normal guy… he'll just watch and give a couple of warnings.
The first parting… Leon consoles as best he can, but he has no idea what to do. He himself got drunk and slept through his first day of work, but this option is definitely not suitable. That's why he needs your help again.
"Movies, books, maybe give her something? What can I do to stop her crying into her pillow?! I don't know what else to tell her!"
In the end, he will gain strength and give a good speech, comforting your daughter's broken heart. After all, life does not end with one boy who, in Leon’s opinion, only proved that he is not worthy of his daughter.
He's a good dad. Not ideal, but your daughter wouldn't want it any other way. Of course, she is sad that he may not be home for a long time and sometimes he is too suspicious, but he is her dad who will move the earth for her.
#leon kennedy#leon scott kennedy#leon s kennedy#resident evil#leon kennedy x reader#leon x reader#leon s kennedy x reader#resident evil x reader#leon kennedy x you#reader#papa leon s kennedy#papa leon#leon kennedy resident evil#leon scott kennedy x reader#resident evil leon#leon resident evil#leon#dad leon kennedy#dad leon s kennedy#leon kennedy dad#leon kennedy headcanons#dad!leon kennedy#Papa!Leon Kennedy
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Hello, a new writing blog with great writing!
How about some NSFW headcanons for the paradise lost demons (whb)? I'm not sure if you write for them since the request rules don't really specify it, so feel free to just ignore this if you don't.
Have a nice day!
Hi Anon !
Yes, I do write for every character from every of the fandoms listed in my request post.
I’m sorry if my headcanons might lack a bit of accuracy or are not as specific as the ones I wrote for the kings, we don’t know much yet about the Paradise lost demons so I’m writing this based of on my opinion, some investigation and the little content we’ve seen in the game so far about them.
Hope you like it and thank you so much for your request♡
𝗪𝗛𝗕 !
𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗘 𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗧
𝗡𝗦𝗙𝗪 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗦
GN!Reader + Reader has a pussy + Slight mentions of She/Her pronouns in Buer’s.
𝗖𝗪: Overstimulation, Edging, Dacryphilia, Shibari, Toys (Vibrators), Praising, Degradation, Blowjobs, Handjobs, Lingerie, Somnophilia.
𝗟𝗨𝗖𝗜𝗙𝗘𝗥
⇒ He's a Top without a doubt, there's no debating in this, he would get mad at you if you dared to suggest the idea of him being a sub.
⇒ Lucifer is actually pretty sweet, yes, he does a lot of questionable things while "pleasuring you" but he never does anything that hurt you too much, you have a safe word and many other ways where you can communicate to him any discomfort you might have and he Iso gives the best aftercare.
⇒ He's into shibari, this mostly because this way he can have you all to his mercy so he can toy with you for hours until your face is covered in tears.
⇒ He's the worst when he overstimulates you or when he edges you, by doing that he forgets any kind of limits you have set for him, you can beg him to stop, he won't, the more you cry, the more he does it. If he is eating your pussy while he aggressively thrusts his fingers in and out and you are sobbing and telling him to stop, he is going to do it faster, harder and way for aggresively.
⇒ There's no such a thing as normal sex with him, he's into a lot of shit, one crazier than the other, and he's also pretty good at analyzing you and he can figure out pretty quickly the things you like, and Lucifer will also be into those things.
⇒ "You say that it's too much ? Well, this cunt tells me overwise, and those beautiful tears all over your face don't seem to be out of pain, so don't lie to me and give me one more
𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗕𝗔𝗦
⇒ Marbas confuses me, he technically cant be freed from his restraints without Lucifers permission because his libido and violence are to dangerous for EVERYONE, but for the sake of this headcanon, lets say that he's not that bad when he's free. (ill include some headcanons where he's tied up tho, thats literally his kink)
⇒ Marbas is a Top, the fact that he's into being tied up does not means he subs, he definitely doesn't.
⇒ He would tie you up if you begged enough or as a punishment, but you better appreciate it, it doesn’t happen as often as you’d think.
⇒ He loves when you use toys on him while hes tied up, specially those wired bullet vibrators, he's soooo into being defenseless in front of you.
⇒ When he's tied up he loves being overstimulated, suck his dick nonstop or furiously rub it it up and down or play with his dick head, the sight of your face covered in his cum makes him go crazy.
⇒ But in spite of this headcanons, he tops, a l w a y s, you can have him tied up and ruining him with a bunch of bullet vibrators attached to his dick, he's dominating you somehow.
⇒ "Do i look that weak to you ? speed up that vibrator right fucking now or else im not fucking you"
𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗔𝗫
⇒ I don’t know why, but he gives switch vibes, but is leaning towards subbing.
⇒ Morax likes to be taken care of but not to the point of being a pillow prince.
⇒ Omg praise him please, he’ll become the whiniest boy out there, tell him how beautiful he is when he cums or how cute his moans are.
⇒ He’ll do anything for you, if you want him to completely submit to you, he will, and if you want him to fuck you senseless and completely rail you, he will, Morax is the definition of being into what you’re into.
⇒ As his kink says, he’s into body modifications, if you have one, he’ll go crazy, and if you don’t, that’s fine for him. But if you wanted to get one, even if it’s temporary, just to please him, you’ll drive him crazy, not because of the modification, but because of the intention.
⇒ “Just tell me, whatever you want me to do, just tell me, I’m yours, every part of me is your property, I’m here to please you and only you”
𝗕𝗨𝗘𝗥
⇒ He’s neither a dom nor a sub, but he’s not a switch, he just likes to feel good and likes to make you feel good, but he tends to get a bit dominant sometimes.
⇒ Wear fluffy lingerie, bonus points if it’s animal themed. (I don’t see him being into pet play tho, but who knows)
⇒ Buer is a box full of surprises, you never know his next move, he can be kissing you in the most romantic way possible, and then suddenly he’s spitting in your mouth.
⇒ Buer has something that makes me believe that he’s into somnophilia, but receiving it, he likes to challenge you to make him cum without waking him up, and the feeling of having his pants wet with his cum makes him go crazy.
⇒ He would love a pillow princess, to just please her and only her for hours, that’s a big fantasy of his.
⇒ “We have all the time in the world, so for this night and every night you want, so let me be the one that makes you feel the best you’ve ever felt”
#prettybusy what in “hell” is bad?#what in “hell” is bad?#whb#what in hell is bad x reader#whb beelzebub#whb leviathan#whb mammon#whb satan#whb lucifer#whb morax#whb buer#whb marbas#whb Lucifer x reader#whb Morax x reader#whb Marbas x reader#whb buer x reader
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In case I don’t tell you enough, I love you.
a letter from sans directed to you, his lover.
y/n,
it’s been five years since monsterkind was freed from the surface.
it’s been four years since i’ve met you.
it’s april, and i’m still missing you.
maybe it’s stupid of me to miss you considering that i left your house only a few hours ago, and i’m laying in bed writing this on some loose paper i found on my floor while i think of you.
weirdly enough, the silence in my room is now unsettling compared to how calming it used to be. i guess the fan in your room blowing wind on your bed that i’ve yet to see turned off has grown on me. or maybe it’s the rain sounds you always have playing on your tv that clash with the fan that grew on me.
or maybe it’s you that's grown on me.
sometimes when i have a nightmare or i can't sleep i play fan and rain sounds on youtube to help me rest, not even thinking consciously about it anymore. it always just makes me feel like i’m back in bed with you with my eyes closed, waiting for you to come back from the kitchen with the glass of water that you wanted.
i wish that i could sum it up and say i can't find the words to describe how i feel, but that’s a lie. i know exactly how i feel about you.
tracing my phalanges along the little scars and nicks of your skin when i’m next to you never fails to entertain me. neither does running my hand through your hair, or twisting the rings on your fingers, or kissing you quickly for the 1000th time. i never thought i would be fond of that sort of stuff, i never thought i was a guy for any sort of romance.
i guess i just never realized that all i needed was the right person to give it to me. all i needed was you.
i’m not the best writer. even my lab logs from the rare times when i help alphys with her scientific tests are messy and short out. it’s almost like having all these thoughts about you is starting to eat me alive. i guess i have nowhere else to put them but on a piece of paper. if we ever get married one day like i hope we do, i’d like to give this to you. who knows when that will be though, so i guess this letter will just sit in one of my drawers collecting dust until i can give it to you. it kinda sucks to think about the fact that these words might never reach you, but that’s the way life is. it sucks most of the time.
i get this weird sinking feeling in my ribs near where my soul rests sometimes. it’s mostly when i think about how i miss you. sometimes my hand reaches up and brushes up and down my shoulder blade when i’m lying in bed alone, mimicking the motion that your hand does to me all the time when we lay together. i don’t even notice it happens anymore, but when i do and i realize you’re not actually there, that’s when that weird sinking feeling happens. it also happens on the rare thought of you not being in my future one day, even though i know that won't happen. i know you wouldn’t leave me.
i can’t help but wonder what this feeling was before i met you, and why i never got it.
was i just empty all the time?
even though i remember in great detail why my depression was so bad back then, back before i met you, i guess these happy years with everyone have slowly washed away that feeling. i felt so horrible for so long, and i didn’t care to ever try and get better because there was no point back then, but for some reason whenever i try to think of what was there in my life that i had like this, it’s almost numbed away from my memories. it’s like a bad nightmare that got washed away with the morning light.
that’s not to say i’m not thankful and glad i’m doing better now. sure, i’m still working things out, but who isn’t? i don’t think i wouldn’t have ever actually gotten help if it wasn’t for you, though. you’re really the only person who's ever seen me so clearly. i love how i don’t even have to tell you if something is wrong anymore, you just look at me and know. did you know that i’ve never had anyone take the time to notice the small difference between my genuine smile versus my resting and permanent one? the day you pointed that out to me was the day i realized i liked you.
i also thought it would take me a while to realize when i liked someone seriously. i think the last time i ever had a crush was… actually, i can’t remember. in the movies and books, it’s always the same scenario of ‘i like you but i haven’t liked anyone before so i don’t realize i like you until it’s too late’ but that wasn’t the case. i knew the moment i liked you.
it was this odd twinge in me that just kinda sprung throughout my bones. i think it’s the same equivalent of getting butterflies in your stomach, but without a stomach. i noticed your looks before, and i guess this sounds weird to say, but it was like after so long of friendship that i actually… noticed you.
you looked so beautiful, and you still do.
the shock at work and from other people was really funny when they found out we were dating. i don’t think they ever actually thought i’d find someone to settle down with. our friends knew better though. as shocked as our friends tried to act, it was pretty obvious that they were expecting it. i can’t believe it was that obvious that we liked each other.
there’s no big resolution to writing this. i just felt like writing it so that i could share the feelings i feel about you but that i forget to say when we are around each other. it’s not like i can get a single word in with how much you smooch on me though. not that i mind.
it’s not to say that if my puns ever get too much for you, or if you decide that i’m too lazy and you feel like you can’t leave, you can. i just really don’t want you to. i have a strong feeling that you don’t ever want to leave either.
i can’t wait to see how the rest of our lives turn out together. when we move in, get married, and just enjoy each other’s time. i know it’s crazy to hear from me, but i can’t wait to do the dishes with you and put away the laundry as you fold it. i can’t wait to enjoy your company every day one day. i know it’s a bit selfish, but i hope that things stay like this forever.
i hope that you get to read this one day, and in case i don’t tell you enough, i love you.
#undertale#undertale au#undertale alternate universe#sans#sans undertale#sans x reader#classic sans#sans x you#sap#sans headcanons
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