#but i also understand it's pretty nerdy and the headcanon does deal with something a little tragic
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gremlins-hotel · 2 years ago
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From the notes of Capt. Alfred Jones: "Davie was a bus and the 'Flying Fortress' moniker seemed to pass her by, but it was a ship with a brave crew. The trudge of getting back to England from enemy territory is a story for another day. I miss her and sometimes I miss the boys we lost that day."
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B-17F "Dear Davie": *U.S. Army Model B-17F-65-BO Air Corps Serial No. 42-29670 Delivered Cheyenne 31/1/43; Pueblo 18/2/43; Salina 15/2/43; Brookley 19/3/43; Smoky Hill 23/3/43; Dow Field 18/4/43. Assigned to the 333rd Bomb Squadron/94th Bomb Group [TS-L] "DEAR DAVIE" 22/4/43; Missing in Action near Hamburg 25/7/43 with Alfred "Comet" Jones, **Co-Pilot: Daryl "Speed" Reed, Navigator: Richard Reed, Bombardier: Charlie Marstaller; Radio Operator: Johnathan Graves, Flight Engineer/Top Turret Gunner: Clyde "Pepsi" Ray, Ball Turret Gunner: William Ortlieb, Waist Gunner: Leslie Lipsey, Waist Gunner: Paul Rapoport, Tail Gunner: Thomas Pugh (6 Killed in Action); "DEAR DAVIE" lost to flak/anti-aircraft fire, crashing near Uetersen, 15 miles NW of Hamburg, Germany.
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[nerd things & acknowledgements below cut]
Notes on the B-17F... The B-17F was an upgrade of the previous E model, with several notable changes: A one- or two-piece plexiglas nose cone, as opposed to the ten-paneled cone of previous versions. Reinforced landing gear allowed for a greater maximum payload, from 4,200 lb (1,900 kg) of ordnance to 8,000 lb (3,600 kg). Flight and combat range of the F model was improved by 900 mi (1,400 km) with the addition of nine self-sealing rubber fuel cells in the wing root, aka, "Tokyo tanks". The F model was generally characterized by being tail-heavy - which lead to part failure - and woefully undefended from the front; the early F models had no front-facing armament, leaving a 60° blind spot to the direct front of the aircraft - a flaw which was exploited by German pilots, who held air superiority. Later F models would see a list of possible available modifications (factory and field) such as inserting two .50 caliber machine guns into the nose cone to solve the blind spot. Other modifications to later F models were bulged cheek turrets, as opposed to the window-mounted guns of earlier iterations, and the available addition of the iconic "Bendix" chin turret. The chin turret is far more common on the subsequent G "gunship" variant. ("Dear Davie" is an early F model without the nose mount, bulged cheeks, or chin turret.)
*This model production block, serial no., and fate are borrowed from real-life B-17F #42-29670, "Thundermug." "Thundermug" was an aircraft that originally served in the 333rd Bomb Squadron/94th Bomb Group alongside my great-grandfather and his usual steed, "The Gremlins Hotel." It was transferred to the 544th BS/384th BG, at which point it went Missing in Action over Hamburg from flak/aa-fire; 8 of its crew became POWs while 2 were KIA. I have had the honor to speak to descendants of both of its crews and help them research "Thundermug"; I wish to voice a mere glimpse of their stories in a unique way.
**All names of Alfred's crew are either cobbled-together family names throughout our history here or entirely fictitious - though some were inspired by real people whom I grew up with stories of. All inspirations were individuals that lived good lives post-war.
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ethereance · 6 months ago
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Thoughts on an au where Earth also has alchemy but it's kinda like one in fma and Lance did the Human Transmutation?? (I don't think kid!Lance would initially be interested in studying nerd shit alchemy but if it's to bring someone he loves? Then yeah. This guy was in show equivalent of nasa/stem program so he can be a pilot, I believe in him)
Very very very much like where you’re going with this Anon. Because oh boy does this give one the opportunity to test Lance to his limits *insert one evil cackle here.* (As someone who loves fmab, but especially fma03 and what that particular version did with its homunculus, *fma spoilers here* and their relationship with identity, and the identity imposed upon them, the very essence of ‘came back wrong’ this could lead to a horrible no good very bad time for Lance should I start writing anything remotely like this. Which I’ve now begun. Whoops.)
I have many thoughts :))) Probably focused way too much on the fma alchemy part, but brace yourself.
So. Humans have alchemy. Maybe they’re naturally born with this ability, perhaps many years ago ancient Alteans arrived in hiding and brought the practice of alchemy with them. It’s just a thing that’s always existed.
Pidge and Matt are the obvious to go for if you follow the fma storyline. They’re the kid geniuses and honestly that sounds like an interesting fic following the pair of them resurrecting their Dad (or perhaps Pidge trying to and Matt only catches on far too late). But. But. But Lance going f*** it we ball and messing around with those mystic mumbo jumbo dark forces he doesn’t get, learning to understand them because he cannot handle a reality where this dead person isn’t around? Yes please. I write self indulgently.
You get it! Lance got into fighter pilot class because there was a spot, meaning he would probably have been the top of cargo class, and you don’t get there without at least trying. Yeah, he’d call it ‘nerdy’, but this guy will put in the effort if it comes to it, and who’s he fooling, he was very much enjoying himself in that M&m episode.
So, if the situation arises, if he loses someone he cares about, and he’s in a world where the solution is there seemingly in the palm of his hand (human transmutation)? Yeah, he’ll put in the hard work, and wouldn’t think twice about the repercussions on him if it means whoever he’s doing this for will be okay. Is it selfish? Is it selfless? Who can say? Lance cares so much for his family, something happening to them would devastate him, so in this kind of au they’ll probably be at the top of the list of resurrection. So I’m thinking:
-His mother (his family is in shambles and a kid Lance wants things to go back to normal). Totally not ripping off fma with this suggestion.
-Rachel (they’re the closest in age, she has a matching jacket with him/has worn a spare version of his jacket so I’m gonna use what little breadcrumbs I have to presume she’s the sibling closest to him. I also like the probably refuted by canon headcanon of them being twins, and how upon returning to earth those two would deal with this new 3 year age gap between them. The ramifications of that time skip and Lance trying to find his own place in his family again just seems interesting to explore but I digress).
-Veronica (have more of a feel for her personality as opposed to characters like Rachel, Marco, and Luis. And Lance was pretty protective of her, despite Veronica being older than him).
-Hunk (could even go the childhood friends route with them). There’s nothing Lance wouldn’t do for his friends, he values them so much.
-Allura if it’s set around the same time as canon is (I’m an allurancer at heart and can’t help adding her to the list. Besides, allura has healed/resurrected him in canon during omega shield. Lance would want to give back, and would probably rationalise it as something she would do, sacrificing herself for someone else. Mr I can’t imagine this world without you is going to great lengths to get her the heck back, even at the cost of himself aka the fic I’m currently writing now Anon what have you done).
-or to pull plots up from canon, it could be Shiro and this is how Kuron (homunculus Shiro) is born, but I kinda see Keith being the one more likely to pull off the human transmutation for this. Maybe they work together on this? It would mean that Shiro and Lance would have to have a stronger bond than they did in canon, but anything is possible in an au (not that they didn’t have small moments, but they weren’t a focus like Keith and Shiro were).
Of course, it doesn’t go to plan at all. Whatsoever.
To what lengths would he go for sacrifice?
It’s all about that equivalent exchange.
-an arm and a leg because this gives him the perfect coping with humour ™ opportunity to say it only cost him an arm and a leg. Plus, perhaps Lance brought this person back out of guilt, ‘if I had been fast enough—‘. His inaction to save them the first time now leaves him without an arm, or without a leg. Or both (he’s not tethering anyone’s soul to armour here, just depends on how much flesh is taken from him to recreate the deceased’s body). Also, also. It correlates to his two positions on Voltron. The very same arm he was, the very same leg.
Also. It’s about those parallels of being just that little bit more like his hero (Shiro) but knowing that the loss of his arm was self inflicted, making him feel like a false hero, a presense, and he couldn’t feel further away from Shiro. He failed to save this person.
-memories of him in the mind of people he cares about (If you’re feeling super mean).
-His memories of the deceased. Now he wants to know why exactly he risked so much to bring back this unknown person back. What do they mean to him?
-him unknowingly giving up his soul so they can have one. And they’re fine and Lance feels like he was the one who came back wrong ™ there is something missing in him and he doesn’t get it.
And then whoever it is comes back.
They get thrown in a healing pod. Lance probably gets berated by whoever is there (Shiro, his mother, Coran) for doing so reckless, so risky without telling anyone. He knew they’d talk him out of this, but it all worked out right? Right?
But this person isn’t right.
Something about their skin is like a reanimated corpse’. It’s a little too pale. And their eyes are a little too dead. But it can all go by the wayside, they can ignore it. Being gone for so long can’t have been easy.
Said person resents who Lance made them be.
He didn’t bring them back at all.
And so we go the route of them having been brought back but is it really them? Or someone else who has been left with Lance’s memory of who they’re meant to be?
A small part of this person cares for Lance as they did, as a son/friend/sibling/significant other, and they hate that.
Maybe they require quintessence to keep them alive. And oh no. Not this again.
Just. Lance learning alchemy for the purpose of saving someone only he doesn’t save them at all. He risks it all to create a person that never asked to exist, that never asked to be who he wants them to be.
He didn’t make them right.
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br1ghtestlight · 2 years ago
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Hi hello, I just wanted to say how much I adore your account because all of your Bob's Burgers opinions are completely correct. Yes. You are wonderful. ALSO, YOU ARE THE AMAZING PERSON WHO WROTE THE GENDERFLUID GENE FANFICTION YES. IT IS SO ADORABLE AND MADE ME SQUEAL, DEFINITELY ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
Thank you for bringing the Autistic Bob headcanon to my attention 👏🏼
Do you perhaps have any headcanons about Autistic Bob, because it makes me absolutely feral 👀
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! :D this actually means a lot bcuz i always feel like im annoying people by posting so much on this account and spamming the tag im just very passionate about. burgers (and thank u for reading my genderfluid gene fanfiction i poured my entire heart and soul into it haha)
OKAY AUTISTIC BOB HEADCANONS
he is so bad at talking to ppl its very stressful because he doesn't understand social cues and people always assume he hates them?? bcuz he isnt very expressive and his words get misinterpreted so people he's talked to like once think that he hates them and he's an asshole so they treat him like garbage, but in reality he's a very loving and passionate and kind person he just doesnt express that very well :(
he wasn't very good at making friends when he was in school (and still isnt) like obviously socializing was hard bcuz of the restaurant and his mom but even outside of that he just Didn't understand other kids and they knew something was weird/different about him and treated him badly even if he didnt understand why, he was very trusting as a kid and fell for people's jokes and tricks a lot of the time bcuz he didnt question them which lead to him being pretty cynical as an adult
bob being autistic is 100% a genetic thing he inherented from big bob but neither of them would ever admit this and they both just think its a personality quirk, it is not
his special interest is cooking and he absolutely LOVES talking abt different recipes and ingredients he uses, he's usually good at controlling himself but if you get him talking about cooking he will not ever stop (linda actually loves this and actively encourages it by asking him questions especially when they first started dating bcuz she thought he was cute and otherwise he didnt talk about himself very much)
bob gets stressed out very easily and likes having control of things in his kitchen especially when he first started his restaurant bcuz he had a specific routine for everything, then he had kids and linda running around everywhere and he got a lot better at dealing with last-minute changes and stress LOL he still prefers cooking by himself though and his control freak tendencies tend to come out around the holidays (he definitely tries not to be Like That because he doesnt want to turn out like his father)
sometimes when the restaurant is busy bob will get overwhelmed and linda will tell him to take a break and go to the employee bathroom to calm down while she handles everything, he's very lucky that he married someone who thrives off chaos and craziness bcuz he would not survive without her
bob is the only person in their family who actually reads books its not very often, but he enjoys reading books about the cooking process and memiors written by professional chefs :) linda thinks that its extremely nerdy but she loves him and she thinks its cute when he reads before bed she calls him her little professor
bob doesn't stim very often bcuz he's good at masking (kinda) and he isnt very expressive in general but if he's really excited about something he'll start bouncing on his feet when he talks until he notices what he's doing and then he's embarrassed, he also mostly does vocal stims when he's anxious/upset lots of groaning just like tina and he repeats things somethings (especially recipes that he has memorized)
when bob has meltdowns (not very often) they usually come out as anger and he starts screaming at everybody and just being annoyed by everything and he's kinda awful to be around until he calms down, everyone in his family knows that he didnt mean it and that he was just stressed out and they're more worried about him than anything bcuz he doesn't typically lash out like that
bob learned the napkin trick he used with gene in the laser show episode when he was a kid bcuz he used to get stressed out while working at his dad's restaurant and the loud noise did not help, his dad wasnt totally understanding but he would let bob take a break if he needed it especially during busy days he would typically work in the kitchen
this is just canon but bob is awful with talking to customers which is why linda and the kids are usually the servers LOL he has absolutely no social skills and he feels like he always says the wrong thing and misses social cues and he comes off as cold and antisocial, if a customer comes back often enough like teddy he'll be more open to talking to them bcuz he knows them but otherwise he usually stays in the back of the restaurant and cooks (this is also why tina wasn't allowed to serve the customers when she was younger but after she asked her dad about it he said that she was allowed as long as she didn't try too hard to make conversation with them)
bob sees a lot of his younger self in tina which is something he absolutely refuses to look deeper into but she's a lot more social and confident than he ever was and she has way more friends than he did at her age (this is almost certainly something she got from her mom)
bob is usually okay around linda and the kids bcuz they're his family and he's used to them and doesnt feel as stressed out or anxious when he's around them, but sometimes he just cant deal with anyone and the kids annoy him with constant questions and loud noises so linda takes the kids out for the day and bob gets to relax at home and watch old western movies idk (this was a lot more common when the kids were younger bcuz now he can just ask them to leave him alone and they'll go to their rooms or whatever) but he's always happy when his family comes home <3
linda will occasionally drag bob out to social events or parties (especially when they were younger amd had more energy/no kids) but she also knows his limits and will come up with the perfect excuse to leave right as he's getting overwhelmed, he doesnt mind going to parties with her because of his (except family parties because they are a lot. he usually just stays home with the kids)
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v-eats-bugs · 10 months ago
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This is somewhat separate from this post, since I personally think it is wild to hate characters so much that you harass people or whatever, but I do think the male friendship/romance characters in Cyberpunk are written much worse than the female friendship/romance character.
Don't get me wrong I LOVE KERRY EURODYNE he is my bingy and I would kill for that man. On a similar level, I do like River, his quests are some of the most fun to play in the game imo.
However, that does not negate the fact that I do think CDPR lowkey dropped the ball on these characters.
Lets first look at Judy and Panam. We meet Judy pretty much right away. She is even standing next to Evelyn when you walk into Lizzies for the first (or second for Corpos) time. Judy is VERY present in the storyline of the game, and even if you don't choose to do every side quest for her to lead to friendship/romance, you get to see multiple sides to her! She is nerdy for tech, she is very cautious, she will fight tooth and nail for her friends, she cares about other women and about joytoys. This is all stuff you learn about Judy just by playing through the main story. Panam is similar, she is very multidimensional and her personality is quite strong. She is mad at Rogue, she is betrayed by Nash, she can be vengeful, she is resourceful, she is stubborn. Again we learn so much about her by playing the main story.
Now lets look at River and Kerry. They are both met through side gigs. Of course these are fun gigs, but you have to want to do them in the first place. While the game MAKES you interact with and see the unfolding characters of Panam and Judy, there is nothing forcing you to meet River and Kerry. The only men that are actually core to the story line that you must interact with are Jackie, Johnny, and Goro. Which is fine, but none of them are the romantic/friendship options. This stunts River and Kerry's character development for you right off the bat since their interaction isn't core to the storyline at all. They inherently don't matter to you as much because you don't have to see them if you don't want to, they don't impact your story directly as a way to move forward. This also gives them much less game time to make an impression on you. Judy is a character you get to feel out the vibe of almost right away. Panam has a whole core mission you do with her before you decide if you want to keep helping her out. However, as soon as you interact with River or Kerry, you are already on the way to finishing your storylines with them.
Looking at the characters themselves, River and Kerry also don't feel as complex. Of course I will chow down on headcanons people make for these characters all day and night, and Kerry has a lot of extra story since he is from the TTRPG. However, in the game itself, River is primarily: a man with a strong sense of justice, who cares deeply for his family, and Kerry is: a depressed, insecure rock star. They are much flatter characters compared to most of the roster of characters in Cyberpunk 2077; they are a bit one note.
These are interesting enough character types. However, if we compare them to Goro, who is similarly one note of "dog for Arasaka" you see that Goro still gets more depth integrated into his character. He has opinions on a lot of the people you meet, he has opinions on food you eat, he tells you about his childhood which makes you understand why he is the way he is. And you get all of this stuff integrated into just being around him. River and Kerry each have moments like this, River can tell you about his parents and Kerry takes you out for coffee, but these moments only happen after you complete something in their story, they are not laced throughout your interactions like they are with Goro.
Then as for the romances themselves, I have a good deal of issues with River specifically. Think about those relationship catalysts for everyone else, Judy takes you scuba diving to record a BD, Panam takes you for a ride in the Basalisk, Kerry takes you on a yaht and burns it down. Now, if you are a straight woman playing through for romance, you get River, who takes you to his house with his family, where you get pressured into starting a family of your own. Of course people can enjoy the peaceful night with River, if you like that then yay! I'm glad you enjoy it! However, I don't like how all the other romance options give you something really exciting and out there to this sci-fi futuristic roleplay game, and then straight women get... pressured into having kids with an ex cop? That's just a suburban American white woman simulator (/j). That disparty between the romances really rubs me the wrong way, and I can understand why people don't enjoy it.
I also think Kerry is a bit of a mess too. For one, there is the whole Johnny thing. The fact that it was confirmed that Kerry pursues V because of Johnny is really sad. The gay male V is not allowed to have a true romance, instead he just used by Kerry as a means to get to Johnny. Similarly, Kerry is the oldest romance option by over 50 years. He is falling into that stupid Call Me By Your Name trope of a gigantic age difference in a mlm relationship. The Kerry relationship makes me sad because it has a lot of potential to be interesting, but falls significantly flat with those two facts alone.
Of course, River and especially Kerry are some of my favorite characters in the game. I always make sure to do their quests, and I genuinely do like them both. However, I can recognize the poor writing in each of these characters and sympathize with people who feel alienated from them because of it. CDPR slept on these two, and is sucks for anyone who wants a similar sort of connection to what you can have with Judy and Panam but with River or Kerry instead. Do I understand outright hating them and harrassing people who like them? No not at all. Do I understand not wanting to go through their quests just to have a mediocre payoff of idk... sex? Yeah, I can totally see that.
Can we just talk about the hatred the male romance options in cyberpunk get? Just today someone was bickering that they didn't like Kerry because.. "he threated 3 innocent girls, and would've killed them" Hello?? Hate to say it but out of all the Romance options in game, Kerry is the ONLY one who doesn't kill anyone. Nor does he have the balls too. He threatens people and that's about it. OH AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE HATE THAT PEOPLE HAVE FOR RIVER. I have seen multiple people go after him, some people also just leave him to die on the farm because they hate him so much. I don't understand how people hate these two so much, and put Judy and Panam on a pedestal. All of the characters have their flaws, their own special stories, all of it. None of them are innocent, but none of them are the bad guys either. In short though,
STOP HARASSING PEOPLE FOR LIKING A CHARACTER!!!!! Just because you don't like them doesn't mean you gotta make it your whole personality.
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neon-junkie · 3 years ago
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Heyooo! I’m the anon that first plopped Tattoo Artist!Crosshsir on ya. I’m currently dealing with the anxiety of an incoming category 4 hurricane so I’ve given the Tattoo AU more thought and considered hypothetical tattoo specialties of the Batch, should they have, for whatever reason, decided to tolerate each other enough to open Bad Batch Ink in a modern AU.
Tech: Specializes in geometric style tattoos. Plain and simple. They just appeal to his delight for math, making the complex aesthetically pleasing. Nobody expects him to have the steady hand he does, so it always shocks people when they come in for a walk-in and see their artist is some nerdy guy who they never would’ve guessed had an inch of ink on him, let alone put any on anyone else.
Wrecker: It’s better known as American Traditional but it’s also known as Old School. It’s not a simple style per se, but the blending of bold colors, thick black lines, and dramatic imagery from pretty women to dagger-pierced snakes just seems to be something he would like. It’s real manly yet cool, y’know?
Hunter: Also probably skilled in Old School, but i can also see him being good at blackwork. Just big blocky pieces that can still get the point across. He’s a very straight-to-the-point type of guy.
Echo: Before he experienced an accident that claimed a few of his limbs, Echo was a pretty by-the-book type of guy. He wasn’t uncreative, realism just seemed right for him. Following the accident, however, he experienced a bit more of a zest for life and began experimenting with more colorful pieces. Neo Traditional probably best describes it. He also specializes in making tattoos for people who have scars left over from traumatic experiences. He knows how hard it can be to adjust to a changed body, and he’s always ready to help with that.
Omega is, of course, the kid sister who wants to help out and become an apprentice. But given she’s still a kid, the most they really let her do is sweep around the shop. Maybe restock some shelves with Tattoo Goo.
omg I adore these headcanons!! they're so spot on!!!
I especially love how Echo specialises in tattoos for people with scars. I think he'd love to sit and listen to how they got their scars, and any other life stories that they're willing to share.
Omega watches, when people let her. She understands that the customer isn't always comfortable with somebody watching, and backs off when they'd rather be tattooed alone.
When she's older, I can see her being incredible at realism, but she's also a sucker for kawaii, cute, colourful tattoos. Maybe she likes to mix between the two?
Her clients that purchase cute tattoos always seem to be the polar opposite, such as big, gruff men who just want a tattoo of a cute kitten, or pretty ladies that are secretly trained in martial arts, and can easily kick your ass without breaking a single nail!
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transsexualhamlet · 4 years ago
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asmr i psychoanalyze my favorite war criminal, aka calling out norman the essay
basically all of my thoughts on norman on one callout post because i care him (both manga and anime are discussed)
LINK TO RAY PSYCHOANALYSIS:  https://chaoticgaymess.tumblr.com/post/646749875570196480/ray-81194-the-long-explanation 
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this is going to be ungodly long so here’s a keep reading, essay below the cut
((tw for suicidal ideation and self harm, brief discussion of eating disorders))
Disclaimer: no shipping is included here this is just about norman also they’re kids who call each other siblings
Thoughts: So you may be thinking, Rowan, why do you yell about the colorless war criminal so often? Well the answer lies in your honor the court hates to see a girlboss winning. Norman is a girlboss :) Yes norman is a tiny twink who can't lift a milk jug. And he is a girlboss :) Obviously I don't condone, um, eugenics and all, but that's not the point the point is that he satisfies my need for more characters like Levi motherfucking Calder from Unwind because I’m apparently an edgy 13 year old. Also all of his problems are violently things I can fix and I keep him around as a pet project because someone needs to give him a hug and slap him on the face
I diagnose him with things: 
-pisces man :pensive:
-is he albino? Not literally. Is his skin so pale he would catch fire if he went outside at noon? Yes.
-autism: Yes I’m aware that calling him autistic makes him, problematic rep by perpetuating the autism unfeeling savant stereotype whatever but have you considered i’m autistic and I’m projecting also he’s L with standards? Anyway traits of AuTism he has: hyper   fixation, canonically breaks and fixes things over and over because like ofc he does, doesn’t understand Emotion, hyperaware of body language at the same time as it all somehow flying over his head, low empathy, sensory experiences™, min maxed in certain areas, and I don’t think he’s got social interaction quite right? There’s something off about it
-gifted kid (derogatory) This is self explanatory but basically him being the smartest and the best in a competitive environment caused most of his issues, such as the perfectionism, the need to succeed, the lack of self esteem and ridiculously high expectations on himself, giving himself no breaks or time to relax, the “i must be productive with every second of my day or i will die” deal, the “peaked at 11” thing, the way in which he goes through life like there’s going to be a fucking test on it
-Eldest Daughter™ lmao. Norman’s always had to be mature, he’s always had to be the best, he’s always had to do the things Ray got out of bc he’s a snitch and Emma got out of because Isabella likes her. Norman gets respect from Isabella only if he excels, and her bar for him is astronomical. He doesn’t have the Mommy Issues that Ray has, but it’s because for him Isabella basically just reflected his expectations on himself, whereas with Ray it was more personal.
-low empathy (part of the autism thing): this one needs more explanation, but it’s not a bad thing in and of itself. Cognitive empathy is a thing and he can use it, but he does not instinctively understand other people’s emotions, or even recognize them properly, especially when the person is not like himself. This is obvious in Emma. Man has no fucking clue what’s going on in her head or why she does what she does, but he can predict what she will do in any given situation very well. He could understand the suicide attempt from ray he predicted more because Ray’s an easier equation to solve, and someone who’s more similar to him. I know he gets it because, well, motherfucker’s just as self desctructive as him, just in a more dignified manner.
-he’s got some sort of chronic illness. This is also me projecting and a headcanon but he’s got something going on, even before lambda pumped him full of growth hormones or whatever which they maybe should have Not Done but oh well. (I assume this just didn’t happen in the anime, since he’s still so fucking short) But he's So weak. He passed out when it was too hot. He passed out when it was too cold. He can’t open a pickle jar. His skin is too pale and he’s skinny af. He’s much more prone to sickness and probably has asthma too? But in the case that he did actually have something going on, I don’t think grace field would see the need to treat it, if it didn’t impact the quality of his meat? Isabella’s probably just “you have chronic pain and you get migraines? Great, take some tylenol and do some calculus.” Can’t say that probably helped anything.
personality type: ISTJ
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Basically, he’s the most boring personality type to exist, and personally as an enfp i do not respect him. But basically this means he’s a fucking nerd that gets his projects done for school the day they’re assigned, is probably the president of the Anime Student Council™, and could probably get away with premeditated murder (ok actual istjs this is a joke don’t skin me)
The only trait that norman doesn’t have on the istj thing is telling the truth. Yeah, he values the truth, but like, that doesn’t apply to him, clearly. Bitch is a notorious liar.
The only other personality type he has any similarity with is intj, which is the same except it’s more rare and a purple theme instead of a blue theme. Sadly, that’s not him though, because although he can care more about some kinds of philosophy overall this isn’t the case and ray already occupies this personality type tbh. 
strengths and weaknesses: This one’s kind of obvious, but he is aside from the crazy insane intelligence good at planning. Extremely good at planning. He can predict any outcome and figure out how to prevent it, using all his resources. For example he’s physically weak and someone could literally just walk up and stab him, but it doesn’t impede his progress on his goals because he’s surrounded himself with strong, mentally inferior people who would die for him in a heartbeat. He never gets stuck in some “everything is shit and i can’t do anything” deal like Emma and Ray do, he always works through it and has confidence in his abilities (in as much as he will solve the problem or die™. Weaknesses other than his twink body include his Low Wisdom score. It’s funny how he’s often associated with an owl, the mans is 14. He thinks he knows what he’s doing. He doesn’t. Plus obviously his fundamental misunderstanding of so much of everything going on around him, the fact that he lies not just to the world but himself, his refusal to take care of himself and his incredible cowardice. His achilles heel is being forced to, actually confront his actions.
what he likes about himself: He does pride himself on his mental abilities, and his judgement, which in his opinion is the only correct opinion and the only correct way. In the past, he likes being seen as a leader, he likes being responsible for other people. He likes his ability to manipulate and lie, because he sees it as an asset, and I honestly think he enjoys being william minerva more than he enjoys being Norman. He prides himself on his unhealthy expectations and the fact that he is able to meet them. Honestly, he does think he’s better than everyone else, mentally, though it’s humbled by his self hatred. Cursed thought: If Norman had self esteem he would be light yagami. 
what he doesn’t like about himself/insecurities: Oh god, nearly everything. His appearance, his status, his superiority, his physical inability, his own mess of a mind, also have I mentioned his appearance. He’s obsessed with self control. He wants everything he sees wrong with himself gone. And I understand why having control of everything is necessary and appealing, everything for him has always been rigid and planned out from moment one, he was even more regulated in lambda, and though he desperately wants to Not Be Food, he has no idea what to do with the chains now that he’s broken out of them. So he just wraps them around himself. Regulates to an unhealthy degree when he sleeps, what he eats, when he actually takes even minimal care of his own problems, what he looks like, how much of himself he lets show, the expressions on his face, the literal thoughts inside his own head he will shut down if they are not Correct. It’s literal self harm. Norman, please stop it.
motivations/goals in life/general philosophy: To be honest, I’m not sure he knows what he wants. He sure thinks he does, he could sure give you a memorized answer, but it means nothing. He wants to excel. He wants Emma to be happy. He wants to be perfect and for that to make everything perfect. But he doesn’t realize everything he’s working towards will do pretty much the opposite of that. He’s a crippling perfectionist, and pretty much everything he does is motivated by his fear of failing. He picks the certain path, he doesn’t wait for anyone else, he doesn’t care if it’s not nice. Emma foils that a most of the time because he cares about her, but it can only go so far, especially after he’s had so much time without her to develop a Complex. His philosophy is very contradictory, basically the tokyo ghoul “everything bad that happens to you stems from a lack of ability”. All of his problems are his fault. All the world’s problems are his to fix. If he can’t fix them, it’s his fault, it’s because he wasn’t strong enough, and not being perfect condemns someone forever, including himself.
how he’s perceived by others vs how he actually is: In most people there wouldn’t truly be much of a difference, but with Norman things are different, because, well, most of his personality in grace field is a put on, as well as the tough guy dictator thing he radiates after lambda. How he appears to someone is determined by the context of their meeting- the kids at grace field see him as a nerdy, weakish, pretty boring kid who is really caring and kind. The researchers at lambda see an obedient, beaten down and perfectionistic boy. The lambda kids see him as an infallible leader, ruthless and genius, a good man who knows what’s right. But in truth none of that is him. It’s a fucking chess game to him, putting on different faces, lying and pretending and treating everyone differently. In truth? He’s a fucking coward. He’s scared out of his mind and he’s tired and he can’t take pain, he’s obsessed with reaching some goal he deems is necessary that in the end is going to be his death because he doesn’t want to face the consequences of his actions. He’s taken on the role of someone evil, though deep down he’s not, he feels it’s easier to live that way because it strips him of his conscience. 
interpersonal relationships: In general, Norman sees all relationships in a pretty dim light. He sees everyone as black and white, for the most part, and other people make no sense to him intuitively, he has to figure them out like a puzzle. He’s manipulative and not particularly kind, but he follows all societal expectations to a T, overly focused on his appearance and placing the person he’s interacting with into a Category™. So he can be truly kind, to people he feels deserve it, to people who he values and doesn’t see flaws in. He gets incredibly attached to people he loves, protective, though he often doesn’t take their own feelings on the matter into consideration, and he’s ruthless with anyone who he deems a bad person. With people he understands and relates to, though, things can be different. If he sees someone as like himself, he will drop all the social interaction police bullshit and cut to the chase of whatever he wants or needs from them, and he’s not very forgiving in any manner, if he thinks what someone did is actually bad.
Emma: Norman obviously cares a lot about Emma, and honestly views her as better than anyone else. He realizes her moral integrity and all of the things she has and he doesn’t, and admires it. Because of his black and white view, Emma is like an angel to him. She couldn’t do anything wrong if she tried. But he comes to treat her as something to be protected instead of respected, and although he realizes she wouldn’t like what he’s doing, he fundamentally cannot empathize with her and doesn’t try to understand her. Their personalities are very literally opposite. Norman really needs to fucking listen to her. And Emma needs to understand that Norman doesn’t have a single ounce of empathy and you really do need to spell it out for him. Emma can only convince him when she has logical reasons for her actions, which she, doesn’t often have. And Emma gave Norman too much slack, because she didn’t see past the surface, and Ray never wanted to warn her, even though he knew the dude was showing a bunch of red flags, because you know. It was kind of an unspoken deal between them. (on ray’s part)
Ray: His relationship with Ray is a lot more complicated than with Emma. He understands Ray, where he doesn’t understand Emma, and he can see right through anything Ray does. And this makes things really tense between them, because Ray doesn’t, take kindly to being psychoanalyzed. If someone perceives him he will deck them and Norman is just there silently perceiving him at all times when Emma doesn’t see it. They are both constantly in competition with each other, but they care about each other a lot, though it’s kind of in a derogatory way. They both recognize each other as fundamentally fucked up, and silently agree never to bring it up with Emma. They’re nice to each other when she’s around, but all pretenses disappear when she’s gone. Ray is always frustrated with Norman, because Norman’s never been intimidated by him, and though he tries his best not to be vulnerable around him, Norman can always see through it, whereas Ray can’t crack Norman’s fake fucking smile no matter what he does. Norman will always take Emma’s side, and doesn’t see Ray as a good person at all, but he still understands and can excuse him, he takes measures to be… worse than Ray, which is better in his mind, because it’s rational, and ‘not selfish’.
Isabella: She has always had ridiculously high expectations for Norman, and treats him kind of harshly compared to the others. Bitch has heat stroke and Isabella’s first question is a calculus problem instead of like, “are you ok”. She knows he doesn’t complain about anything ever and she doesn’t stop him from being Terrible to himself, because it makes her job easier. They want smart kids, not mentally adjusted kids. She does really care for all of them, but she basically overrides it, she gives them what they want, not what they need, lets them be exactly what they’re making themselves. Isabella is distant with Ray but gives him anything he wants, she’s close and super nice with Emma, but Norman is… it’s weird. Isabella is proud of him because he meets her astronomically high bar. But at the same time, Norman never really cared for her that much and has never pretended to. Once they discover The Thing, though, he has a revelation, and it doesn’t take him long to switch his entire perspective about her. He’s pretty much like. Oh. She’s like me. That explains it, time to treat her like I treat myself: fucking brutally. Passive aggressive as hell. The kind of energy the :) emoticon at the end of an email gives. He does like just go “yeah we should kill her” at one point, which. You know, ok. When he got shipped out it was hhhh really interesting because Isabella knew full well he knew he was walking to his death and Norman was like “are you Truly Happy?” and just went :) and she was like h u h and tried to get him to talk while they were walking there because she feels Bad about it and he just. Did not. He didn’t say a single word just kind of smiled menacingly at her and I think it was half a sort of rebellion and half because he viewed her as similar to himself and therefore felt no need to put up any front with her, no words were necessary for him to impart exactly how he felt about it
Lambda kids: His relationship with the lambda kids is weird and bittersweet. I think he really truly does care about them, they were in a similar situation to his and he wants them to get what they want. However it is not a healthy or beneficial relationship, they see him as a god and don’t realize that he’s killing himself to give them what they want, he’s basically adopted them when out of anyone norman’s the one that should least be in charge of kids. I think he’s honestly younger than them but I’m not sure if they even know. He acts like their fucking mom, and that’s from what he thinks mothers are like… like isabella?? Giving them what they want, not what they need, lying to them, showing a front, caring deeply for them but at the same time using them for his own ends. And it’s not helpful for him. He thinks he knows what they need, but what he’s doing is what they want. What they need is therapy,(and so does norman), and he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with using them as weapons because they love him. It makes him feel good, to be seen as perfect, to have people who don’t know how weak he really is. But it’s only making him worse, and he’s enabling everything the lambda kids are doing wrong as well. They need like, Yuugo and Lucas. Some actual adults who are actually wise and have the ability and the knowledge to take care of them and understand their mental problems and maybe actually address them. And actually be nice to them. But um sadly. 
what he’s doing wrong: It’s pretty obvious, but��� Norman, you maybe *shouldn’t* commit genocide? You’re not helping emma, you’re not making anything better. You’re not helping the lambda kids, you’re enabling them. You’re not helping your friends from grace field, you’re ignoring what they want. You’re not helping the world, you’re eradicating an entire race from the face of the earth and murdering the poor for the crimes of the fucking 1%. You’re not being a martyr, you’re a selfish piece of shit liar you little coward, you just want an easy way out and you want to die on your bloody fucking hill instead of admitting you’re wrong. Grow up, cringe little man.
why he went wrong: I think most of the reason this happened was the way he was raised combined with the kind of person he is. Norman would have turned out fine, if there has been good adults in his life who actually cared about his well being. Instead he got people who just wanted to control him and make him what they needed, and family who largely didn’t realize there was anything wrong. Ray being an ass to him most of forever probably didn’t help but well, that’s just Ray. Even then, he would have managed alright if he escaped with the rest of the kids because he would never have been separated from the experiences that caused the rest of them to realize demons weren’t all evil. In lambda he didn’t have anyone supporting him or telling him when things went too far, so he fell into relying on himself alone, pushing himself further with absolutely no limits. All he saw was enemies and allies, and things got stratified. He never had a lucas or a yuugo or mujika when he would have needed it, instead he found children who wanted him to be in charge and a world that made it so he had to be. Everything was an echo chamber for his worst thoughts, so they just became more and more dominant.
what he needs: To put it simply, he needs Emma and Ray to cut to the chase and slap him across the face and make him take care of himself. He needs to be forced to see everything for what it really is- this edgy 14 year old committing atrocities to feel better about himself? He needs to be told that what he’s doing is irrational, because in reality, it is. There are better solutions that he’s ignoring, both to his own suffering and the demons, and the way he’s going now no one will truly be happy because of it, that there is no requirement that things be perfect and this bullshit doesn’t make him stronger. He needs someone responsible to take the fucking dagger out of his hands. He also needs someone to babysit him and make him go to bed at a reasonable time.
i describe his personality through songs on my spotify playlist for him:
-outrunning karma by alec benjamin: this one super applies because it calls him out for making shitty decisions, being manipulative and a liar, and having blood on his hands in a very calm and subdued manner, that he knows this is wrong and yet he chooses to keep running faster and faster towards destruction, that he means to escape it through death
-empty by boyinaband and jaiden: yes this is a song about anorexia yes it also applies to norman i’m not saying norman literally has an eating disorder (but honestly it wouldn’t be far out of character if he did) but metaphorically this applies to his method of ignoring his needs, both emotional and physical, in favor of seeming in control 
-toxic thoughts by faith marie: this one speaks to his gifted kid trauma. Man’s got perfectionism running his entire soul. He’s terrified of failing, because he’s always been at the very top, he’ll beat himself up over any miniscule mistake and forces himself to keep at bad habits that keep him Productive, but he won’t ask for help no matter how much he’s suffering because that would be failing, he fights with his mind, this song basically tells him “yeah i feel you but you need to stop that”
-no time to die by billie eilish: ignore the romantic overtones but this is emma and norman, emma who trusted norman and was lied to, betrayed, for norman’s greater good, and norman who refuses to feel or hurt because of it, who refuses to apologize or see himself as wrong, pushes forward because he’s going to Pass Away
-achilles come down by gang of youths: hhhhh it's like. His vibe. Obviously you can disregard the lifestyle specific shit but it's. It's achilles come down you have to understand it’s like the same deal as friend, please just like french and longer
-friend, please by 21 pilots: i feel like i don't have to explain this one but it’s more to the manga (not the anime where he kind of figures out he done did wrong by himself instead of committing unforgivable sins and still going yeah this is valid before emma is like holy fuck). He is like sorry emma I cannot fix anything I’m going to die :) *coughs blood* and emma going like stop it stop it stop it fuck you see you fucked up and i forgive you just stop don’t walk away while he’s like “no<3”
why im a repressed little norman kinnie even tho he’s my exact opposite: I don’t generally kin ppl like norman, honestly he’s an infj I have no clue how it happened but I’m pretty sure it’s because of my intense desire to project onto a little man who cannot lift a milk jug and has chronic pain and decides you know what I AM tired of being nice i DO wanna go apeshit. Also he’s a twink. A little bastard. He’s a terrible person and I go mood every time he does anything. I said mood when he fell out of a tree. Don’t know what this says about me, I swear I wouldn’t commit no genocide. He’s like the inverse of Yoichi Saotome, and somehow i kin him too. Damn.
Miscellaneous headcanons:
-man’s SO attached to his william minerva cloak. He’s a wispy little bitch, you know he’s wearing that thing inside the house, he’s fucking cold. It also makes him Look Important he can retreat into it like an emo middle schooler with an oversized sweatshirt
-although you could probably get Mad street cred from having two whole brands you know he’s not gonna whip it out and show off his lambda thing he’s incredibly self conscious and his chest hasn’t seen the sun in years
-norman’s got MAD laundry skills to be able to wear like, all white all the time while constantly murdering people. I think he’s the only one who knows to do the laundry. And Ray is the only one who knows how to cook.
-but even then there’s gotta still be a few questionable stains on that thing, but if anyone asks he’s like “ketchup” “I’ve literally never seen you eat anything with that much color” “ketchup :)” *coughs blood*
-he’s probably thought “well i have not literally coughed blood yet today so I am not legally obligated to take care of myself”
-He probably adopted much of his current personality from taking on the persona of william minerva. I’m calling him out for being like me, he’s a blank motherfucker, he absorbs personality traits from characters he plays! He’s just not in theatre so it’s a bit more intense!
-the first time he sees barbara Eating Demon Meat he kinda stares and goes oh cool! not for me and violently exits the room. Like it's hilarious bc he thinks that's really gross on a moral level though he understands why she would do it 
-Which is even funnier bc I’m not sure about the canon on this but there was That Chapter Cover that one time that kinda seemed to imply norman eating demon meat which i absolutely latched onto because I’m terrible. He was just politely eating it. With a knife and fork like why dude. As to a possible reason for him doing that I can come up with, of course barbara does it out of spite, but man we don’t know the properties, if it had some sort of painkilling aspect to it or it was like, caffeine, you know he would, but he would Definitely not talk about it
-I kinda disagree with what the anime did in episode eight? It was good I liked it and the imagery was fantastic but also have you considered Norman could not kill someone with his own hands if he tried, or even physically injure them? That’s what his minions are for shawty. That doesn’t make it any less bad, of course, but the manga captured it perfectly by the fact of he carries around a dagger and a scepter in the capitol battle, but he never even raises it out of more than intimidation. He walks through calmly like he’s not scared at all but he makes sure all the lambda kids do all the actual murder, he just stands there impartially, clearly The Mastermind, as the kids fucking murder the queen of the demons. And I think that’s more profound because he’s, a coward. And he doesn’t realize being the one who orders the strike makes you just as responsible as the one who sticks the knife in someone. The knife is just there to Compensate™  for the fact that he weighs like eighty pounds.
-he’s more of like lady macbeth (because he’s a girlboss) than macbeth himself. He has blood on his hands, but it’s the kind of blood that you can’t wash off. He never killed anyone himself, and he cannot admit he never would have been able to.
-the last thing is that there are definitely epic things about the anime, episode 8 was my favorite so far, goddamn that imagery and the bitch walking through the city while it burns down with the screaming asmr going on behind him my god. We stan. But like the downside of, letting Emma and Ray get to him before he commits first degree murder makes the whole thing lose a lot of his value. In the manga (oh my god look at me being a pretentious manga fan please) it fit more of his ideas- he never backed down, and he planned for Emma coming and trying to stop him. Of course he wanted Emma to stop him, he wanted it with all his fucking heart he was pleading for it to happen but the man wouldn’t give himself what he wanted if he was held at gunpoint. He knew she’d come and he made absolutely sure she wouldn’t be able to stop him. So when she came and he said “you’re too late”??? It kind of said it all, in the fact that he was disappointed that he got his way. He still thought he did the right thing, but deep down there where he shoved all his thoughts and feelings he desperately wanted to be saved from himself.
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So yeah, those are my thoughts. Feel free to eviscerate me if these are not Correct he is just my favorite girlboss who I feel the need to yell at
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demigodsanswer · 4 years ago
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Do you have any headcanons about Chris to go along with those last ones of Clarisse? How did he recover after TLO?
In the three weeks that Clarisse is not at camp following the war, rumors and conspiracy theories about his knowledge and involvement with Silena begin to circulate. 
People hypothesized that he was also a spy, and that they were working together. That Clarisse knew the whole time, and was either also on their side, or chose not to sell them out. Or that she was being manipulated by both of them in order for them to stay on camp’s good side. That Clarisse had left camp after the war either to escape retribution for war crime or to escape humiliation at being played. 
None of these were true, and Chris had told camp everything he knew about Luke’s army. 
Recovering from TLO was actually, in many ways, easier than recovering from TBotL, even though he hadn’t fought in the battle of the Labyrinth. He was healed soon after the battle ended, only to learn that Clarisse had spent a year trying to heal him out of sheer kindness, and two of his best friends had been killed as a direct result of a successful iteration of the mission he had been sent on. 
He blames himself much more for Castor and Lee’s deaths. While losing Beckendorf and Silena was not easy for him, he did not hold himself culpable in their deaths, really, in the same way that Clarisse blamed herself for Silena’s death and Silena had blamed herself for Beck’s death. 
He does grapple with these questions of heroism that Clarisse deals with, but, for him (as he was never someone who really desired traditional hero things anyway), a lot of that grappling is more centered on how to move on past these events (not so much how do I reform my identity after all of this, which is much more what the question is for Clarisse.) 
Ultimately, the three of them (him, Clarisse, and Pollux) realize that all they can do is step away from that life as much as they can. They can’t move on from these traumas and still try and achieve heroism. Clarisse tried pretty much constantly between the Sea of Monsters and the Battle of Manhattan, and it only got her more and more hurt. Their only choices were to keep fighting until they achieved some kind of glory in death (not what they want) or to separate themselves from that life as much as they can, resulting in a change from wanting their life to be full of glory to wanting their life to be long. 
As someone who had never really cared for glory and had never been a particularly strong demigod, it’s not hard for Chris to make this change in himself, but it is very hard for him to see Clarisse go through it. At first he thinks it just empathy - his partner is struggling emotionally, and he doesn’t know how to help - but he soon realizes that it seems to be deeper than that. 
It isn’t until years later when he sees The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi that he actually understands why that was hard. 
Chris pretty much created an instant attachment to Finn as a character - he was a character who was fighting for a side that didn’t care much for the humanity of their soldiers or the people who they fought. Finn rejects that dehumanizing and proves to be instantly affected by his friend dying in front of him (separate headcanon, but Chris does end up getting the storm trooper helmet with the bloody hand print tattooed on his shoulder). Even though he leaves the First Order, though, he does not have any initial interest in joining the Resistance. 
The Titan Army and their recruitment of demigods certainly had a little more complexity behind it than the Star Wars n*zi allegory, but the Titan army did prove not to care about the demigods they killed on either side. The fact that they left Chris to die in the labyrinth without care is proof of that. The fact that they actively killed demigods on the god’s side was proof of that. Still, the gods didn’t care for them much either. When Chris was healed, he still had a pretty ambivalent stance towards the war as a whole. 
I’ve written this before, but essentially, he told Clarisse that he isn’t fighting for the Titans or the Gods, but he’s fighting for her. 
Over the year before the war, though, that starts to change. Her passion, care, and bravery really begin to inspire loyalty in him. Not to the gods, but to the other demigods. He starts to lose that sense of selfishness, and instead develops (or redevelops) an intense empathy and love for camp and the demigods (on both sides). 
This is why he spends so much time trying to talk her out of her choice to not join the war. Because it was her in the first place who had dragged his selfish ass kicking and screaming out of faux-neutrality and into actually caring about other demigods. 
She had even called him on this a few months before the war: “You can’t really be neutral in this, you know. you said you left the Titan army because you didn’t think they actually cared about the demigods they recruited, they just capitalized on their sadness. But there are demigods in that army still and in this one who are going to be killed soon. Are you really going to pretend like you defected out of a sense of obligation to all of them, but then turn around it not care about any demigods except the one who saved your ass?” 
Clarisse was the one who inspired disloyalty in the Titans, but also loyalty to, if not the gods, then at least to camp. (”That’s how we’re going to win. Not by killing what we hate, but saving what we love” /// “There is some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.) 
So seeing her switch from that to someone burnt out and tired of it all was really hard. So much of what he had loved about her was her passion and bravery, and the ways in which those qualities had changed him. Seeing her lose those qualities (that coupled with him no longer being at camp) did put stress on their relationship. 
Although he’d always say that the half-year where they were broken up was one of the worst times of his life, he does, in hindsight, think it was a good thing. In those months without he, he was able to work on himself and grow as an individual, and realize that he had been imagining her as more than a person. She wasn’t Clarisse, my girlfriend, a person with these good and bad traits. She had become a symbol for something so much bigger than herself that she could never maintain. 
If they had tried to stay together when there was even more distance between them, their relationship likely would have exploded and never recovered. Instead, though, they are able to grow apart for a while, and come back together much stronger. 
(all that being said, though, his favorite Star Wars characters are still Finn and Rose [and Poe], and, gun to his head, he will tell you his favorite movie is The Force Awakens. But do not ask him about his thoughts on The Rise of Skywalker or the trilogy as a whole unless you are prepared for a very long, very nerdy conversation.) 
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keyofjetwolf · 4 years ago
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Bonus Question Answers! (anime heat 3)
I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. If yours is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE
SURPRISE EVERYONE WHO ANSWERED THIS ONE GETS AN ENTRY (with extra entry if you pulled a specific line). This has been such a struggle for me for the past ... you know, million years or something, and each of you made me feel so good, thank you. ♥
Q: This is reaching back into the memory a bit, I know, but what's your favourite of my fanfic? (BONUS BONUS ENTRY if you pull a specific line!)
*  i cannot remember a specific line off the top of my head but i remember the post-S series dealing with usagi's trauma from pharaoh 90 (sound of silence?) was a gut punch and a half --  anewconstellation
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* "Blue shirt. Pearl buttons." I think this was the first time I read you writing the Outers, particularly Neptune and Uranus, and, uh, holy shit. Absolutely note-perfect dialogue and dynamic, particularly for that period of Sailor Moon S when Michiru and Haruka used intimacy of speech and gesture as an instrument of distancing and obfuscation (of their goals to the Inners, of their hearts to themselves and to each other, of the heli-pad to the staff at Mugen Academy, etc). It was so clear, and so clearly *them* that I could actually hear the intonations of their respective seiyuu. And then to deploy such spot-on character elements in combination with the stakes and the maturity the anime never reached for, my WORD, are you trying to kill me??? The pacing, the restraint! What an absolute gift. You're a wonder. (also your drabbles are fuckin peerless, and the BTL concept is such a clever series framework)  -- @rasiqra-revulva​
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*  This was so hard to pick from, but I finally settled on "Cause and Affect" - it's such a heartbreaking story, but the juxtaposition between the clinical lines of information from the computer to the memories Ami is dealing with to the horror of the visuals around her... it's so bright and sharp and PRESENT.  It keeps me in the story, that mix of tones and feelings.  And the final line?  Perfection.  "Number of regrets: none"  What an amazing take on Ami and how she processes information and how she deals with the situation she is in.  I still get chills up my back when I read the story.  -- @amberlilly​
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*  I love your Between the Lines series, it's how I found your Tumblr and liveblogs back in the day -- @amboato​
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*  Author Alert.  “So never, ever, going to live this down.” -- @crunchbuttsteak​
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*  "Of her word" quote "But for all that, it remained sand. Rei erased it with one swipe."  -- Dei
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*  Between The Lines. Adding further character/emotional depth to canon is YES PLZ. I really liked the whole idea of Usagi having trauma post-Pharaoh 90 and all the chapters that hit on that. On a less serious note Chibs' circus-related PTSD and freaking out when Hotaru wants to go to the circus kills me every time. ("But your precious dreams Hotaru-chan!")  -- forgottenfae
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*  This is probably the obvious choice, but "The Sounds of The Silence" has haunted me in all the best ways since I first read it. The way you write Rei, Usagi, and Rei and Usagi hits me right in the heart every time. This particular fic, with Usagi so traumatized, and Rei being as soft and gentle as Usagi needs, will always stick with me. I pulled up the fic to try and narrow down a single line, and ultimately there's no real debate. "She would never stop trying to do more, but for now, she simply did this." That line is, at its core, the essence of Rei Hino. And it is perfection.  -- gatorsandglitter
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*  I don't expect this to win at all, just sharing,, but I just super fondly remembered the goggles and all the amazing content, meta, and fic those inspired, both from you and others  -- @goosebytrade
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*  "You Win or You Die"  my favorite line is "She and Rei WOULD have The Moment, they WOULD get their thousand years of bliss, and they WOULD be making out after all this was over. Like, SO HARD."  -- @i-needa-nap-please
~~
*  I'm always really bad at answering questions like this because my mind has pretty much become a goldfish in my old age and I have a hard time remembering specific fics; it all sort of starts to jumble up in my brain and things get lost. But I have always loved reading your writing, it's what got me onto this godforsaken website in the first place -- it was just before Crystal dropped, and we were all foolishly full of hope and excitement, and you were going through the Moon Pride video and waxing poetic about the FRIENDSHIPS and I was like, "YES! Finally! Someone who understands why I love this stupid kids' show!" I think I sent you an ask saying this before, (but who knows if you ever got it, Tumblrs being what they are - indifferent) but I tried reading fanfic and even published novels based on properties, like the Buffy novels and Star Trek and Star Wars novels, for a long time, and mostly found it frustrating and annoying and just... wrong. It always had this awkwardness and clunkiness to it that didn't do anything for me and just constantly screamed "THIS IS A FANFIC IT IS NOT REAL WRITING" at me. Didn't like it. But, I liked yours. Yours didn't feel awkward or clunky. You have never written any sentences like, "Rei watched the blonde stand up" where "the blonde" is Minako, and I don't know why fanfic writers think that calling characters "the blonde" or "the redhead" or whatever is sexy or cute but it ain't (sorry, pet peeve tangent). So, when you were writing stuff more, I would read it like it was going out of style, and you led me to Doc's writing, which had the same natural, "this is real writing" quality, and I loved hers, too. Anyway, my favorites of yours have always been the Between the Lines stuff. I just love the "hidden" moments that we didn't get to see. The Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead bits of Sailor Moon (speaking of fanfic that actually works) that bring so much depth to characters we know and love already or to characters we see only briefly. Also, the Shadow Senshi, because FUCK. Just... Kill Me. In any event, I know that writing has been difficult for you of late, and I know how that feels, so I hope that people who are actually able to answer this question have given you some places to go and draw strength from so that it can become part of your life again. TBH, I've been using the bonus questions on your Giftening surveys and Doc's 8 Days surveys as an excuse to try doing some small bits of quick, no pressure, nobody's gonna see it unless you or Doc actually LIKE it, don't think about it writing, and it has been helpful. I hope you can find something that gives you the same opportunity. Now that I've written you a novel that doesn't even answer the question you asked (goldfish, remember? *sigh*), have a gorgeous Tuesday!  -- @incorrecttact
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*  The one with Pluto and Queen Serenity, where Serenity is selfish in a very Usagi way, but her arrogance combined with that selfishness makes it a fatal flaw? I liked that one a lot. -- Jules
~~
*  the bit you wrote to 'fill in' a gap for why during r did mamoru act like a distant jerk. My favourite parts were Rei coming to see the same dream, and despite being the one to have the biggest reason to believe in these kinds of prophetic visions, Rei still doesn't believe fate is set in stone. -- just... a fan. a well-baked one
~~
*  Make It To New Year's -- @kaleidodreams
~~
*  ahhh, where is a link to all of your fanfic? It's the series you started after S, with Rei comforting Usagi, because like you I was let down by the fact that they never followed up on what Usagi saw, or even how she dealt, with the end of S. runner up: the one where Usagi is about to give birth because everything you write with Rei and Usagi is amazing. -- kari
~~
*  There was a drabble/draft/something that you used one of my prompts for, and I prompted you with Usagi and Rei, but you did it from Luna's perspective and THAT WAS SO UNEXPECTED and it turned out SO GOOD cause like!!!!!! You made Sailor Moon both someone Luna cares for, because still the legacy of the moon, and someone utterly discouraging for her because *this should not be*, and wow what a way to make it both about Usagi herself and about her powers.  -- katrani
~~
*  I love the btl fics, they fill in the missing gaps, add depth to the story, and sometimes smooth over things (SuperS) when canon is just...blah. One line I really liked was: “I was listening, at first, but then I started thinking about how hungry I was, and how a pork bun would be really good right now, and then I wondered what makes a thing a bun, and like, if you put ANYTHING in a bun, does it become a Thing-Bun, so could you make a bun out of another bun and would it be a Bun Bun, and wouldn’t that be the greatest thing to– Rei?” It's a great run-on, stream of thought sentence that just really catches Usagi's voice, is hilarious, and such a natural progression. -- @kumeko
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*  “HUG,” Usagi demanded again, because dammit, she’d been promised a hug and SOMEONE was going to deliver. (The one where Michiru has the hiccups. Because it's fun HaruMichi stuff, because it weaponises Usagi in a useful way, because it manages to (gently) make fun of both perfect!Michiru and saint!Usagi without being mean to either character, and also because I get hiccups a lot and I haaaaate them.) -- nerdy-flutterings
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*  I can't remember a specific fic, but I LOVE your Shadow Senshi headcanons and they're the main reason I started writing my own Shadow Senshi stories. -- @notesfromtheidiotbox
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*  The Figuarts saga is the Sailor Moon fic I never knew I needed -- Raye
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*  Special Delivery is a delight. So much Rei Certainty (that ends up being misplaced). So much Usagi being The Most Usagi About Pregnancy. So much Comedic Hijinks, because why the hell WOULDN’T ‘the Senshi get blindsided when Usagi goes into labor’ end up going full screwball? There’s a lot of great lines there (Rei’s theory about Chibs taking control of the Gate of Time and manipulating things is fantastic, as is the ending,) but my favorite is definitely “Rei Hino if I give birth to my daughter on the side of the road I swear I will go back in time and tear all the pages out of your favorite coloring book! [...] I’ll break the crayons too, Rei-chan!” Delightfully specific and childish, especially since Usagi sticks with it, and that particular brand of comic specificity is definitely a highlight of yours. -- Regalli
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*  Fire on Mountain!!! When I got to “Her voice was deeper than most expected when facing the certainty of her. It was rough, sandpaper running over cherry. She’d been a singer, once. Nobody would have believed her.” I was like oh. OH! -- Sasha
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*  My favorite of your fanfic, one one of the first I read is 'Hard to Break'. And my absolute favorite line is Usagi's panic when Minako tries to smoke: "Minako who was almost certainly dying, the cigarette had spread its evil and killed her instantly oh god."  -- @shavedjudomonkey
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*  Tonight Ami would grieve, and wish she understood why.'  This Between the Lines about Ami getting her mini computer both haunts me and brings tears to my eyes.  -- @shonasof
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*  I can't remember the title, but it's the one where Minako realizes that Rei's been writing Sailor V fanfic under the name Red Bow -- Somariel
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*  You would think Mako-chan's Happy Ending, but nope, this one goes to Hard to Break (although I had to look up the exact name.) This thing is filled with such great lines. How am I supposed to pick out one? "[Watch out, boys,]" Minako said in smooth and entirely unnecessary English. "[Lady Super Cool is on the prowl.]" -- Ultrace
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*  I forget the title, but it's the 'last senshi standing' fic where Ami is reflecting on the battle that took the others from her. Detatched and cold as she analyzes Rei Minako and Mako and finally Usagi's death with a medical efficiency, going through her Visors readout and then reflecting that the clinical words were nothing compared to what she'd actually seen. following up the method of death of the senshi with a statistic in relation to her friendship with the girl. Number of milkshakes shared, number of conversations lasting well into the night, number of hugs, number of smiles that brightened the darkest of moods. Describing how Rei's heart was pulped in a monster's grip, Minako's once beautiful face smashed against the rocks, Mako's lightning that outlived its mistress as she and Usagi ran off, and then finally that one last attempt to protect Usagi failing as 'Cervical Fracture' flashes on her visor. And From there she just... accepts death. sitting beside where Usagi had fallen and waiting for the end. it's dark af but it's the first one that always comes to mind when i think about ur fics :>  -- Vega
~~
*  I am extremely predictable here with two of my choices, as you know that I am obsessed with Fire on the Mountain and Blue Shirt, two things you wrote when you "definitely couldn't write" (Sidenote: My new year's resolution is to be harder on your about writing) We all know why I love blue shirt, it's basically an underhand pitch to the face for me, but Fire on the Mountain has a quality of regret and longing that I really connected with, something that really struck me in a way that was powerful. It's different from a lot of your inners work, and I think about Mina posing as Rei, in her disguise magic in the woods, and all the reasons why, fairly often. Something that MAY come as a surprise to you, is I really wish we got more ofyour overwatch stuff, and maybe I'll just keep asking for this for my birthday for the rest of our natural lives, but I think of like, the one you wrote on 7/14/20, with Pharah longing to have a man to shoot in the face because that would be easier than the emotions around whatever's going on with her, and I'm utterly tantalized. And I loved that hurt/comfort you wrote for me, where Pharah had this single minded drive to find out what had happened to Angela, and Tracer's trying to, well, comfort her, on some level, and the way you described Pharah's "animal cry" was FANTASTIC, and as always I am deeply jealous of your Tracer voice and IF YOU WOULD WRITE IT MORE IT WOULD HELP ME. -- WRITE, BITCH.
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*  The one were Hotaru confronted Michiru and Haruka about how they had tried to kill her in order to stop the Silence. Such a good little moment =w= -- zorrito
~~
AND THEN THESE WERE UNSIGNED SAD FACE
*  Chosen. I like your Overwatch stuff but Chosen was a goddamn masterpiece.
*  Operation: Heart Angels. Senshi going after Mamoru for his bullshit was something I didn't know I needed.
*  The entirety of Beggars Would Ride, including every single line of Anya's dialogue.
I’ll be drawing for the bonus liveblog around the start of THE GIFTENING 2020 (currently looking to be Monday, 11 January 2021). Each bonus question is another chance to earn an entry! I CAN ABSOLUTELY AND SHAMELESSLY BE BOUGHT.
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returnn-of-the-mac · 5 years ago
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Since you did one for Edward, how about a fluff alphabet for Kent Connolly if possible? He’s adorable really and deserves more love
I totally agree with that, he really is a sweetheart 💕 I had fun with this one! I actually really like doing az’s for the NPC’s, it makes me really think about it since I’m pretty much working with nothing!
I really appreciate all the az requests I’ve been getting—thanks so much everyone! I still have 2 on the docket (the next one is interesting. Not something I was expecting, but I’ll be happy to do. And the second one is another popular, rather sadistic *hint hint* NPC). Hope you like it! 😊
Fluff Alphabet: Kent Connolly
Activities: What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
When they have down time, Kent likes cuddling up with Sole and watching episodes of The Silver Shroud.
Beauty: What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
Kent admire’s Sole’s selflessness and heroism. He also appreciate’s Sole’s knowledge of the Shroud.
Comfort: How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
Kent is great at comforting because he’s so sweet. He genuinely cares about Sole and their feelings and will do anything he can to make them happy.
Dreams: How do they picture their future with their s/o?
Kent wants to get married to Sole and (assuming he was able to recover from the events of the Silver Shroud) continue running his radio station.
Equal: Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
Sole and Kent are equals.
Fight: Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
Yes, Kent forgives very easily. He hates conflict, especially with Sole.
Gratitude: How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
Kent is eternally grateful for everything Sole has done for him. He is especially thankful for them saving his life.
Honesty: Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
No, they don’t have any secrets.
Inspiration: Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
Kent became braver because of Sole, especially after the events of the Silver Shroud.
Jealousy: Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
Not at all. He completely trusts Sole.
Kiss: Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
Not really. Kent isn’t experienced at all. He’s very hesitant.
Love Confession: How would they confess to their s/o?
Probably in some geeky way, like making some Silver Shroud-themed confession.
Marriage: Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
Yes, Kent does want to get married. He and Sole would have a cute and simple marriage that would last a very long time.
Nicknames: What do they call their s/o?
Kent doesn’t really use nicknames. Maybe something nerdy like “hero.”
On Cloud 9: What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
Kent is super cute and sweet. When in love, he’ll have no problem holding hands with Sole, giving them little kisses, etc.
PDA:Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
Yes, Kent is upfront about his relationship. He brags about Sole like a three-year-old brags about a new toy. He’s precious.
Quirk: Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
Kent is super committed to anything he gets invested in. As such, he is extremely loyal to Sole.
Romance: How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
Kent is romantic in a cute way. He’ll surprise Sole with dinner, or flowers, or a nice compliment.
Support: Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
Yes, Kent does believe in Sole and will help them achieve their goals.
Thrill: Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
Kent prefers routine.
Understanding: How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
Kent is extremely empathetic. He can immediately tell when something is wrong.
Value: How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?
This relationship is important to Kent, and is arguably one of the most important things in his life.
Wild Card: A random Fluff Headcanon.
Kent is a little spoon.
XOXO: Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
Yes, Kent is very affectionate. He loves to kiss and cuddle with Sole, especially while watching the Shroud.
Yearning: How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
When he misses Sole, Kent focuses on the Silver Shroud radio.
Zeal: Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
Yes, Kent would die for Sole.
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ducktales-wco-oo · 5 years ago
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✩ How I Run My Blog! ✩
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Speed: 
Slow As Hell, for the most part. True, there are times when I yeet replies out because me and/or my muse are ridiculously invested in a thread, or inspiration instantly strikes. However, my default tends to be Really Slow. Something I try to make prominent to everyone since I understand some people prefer to not wait months at a time for a response- which is something I often end up doing. For a variety of reasons: be it because muses are fickle, it tends to take hours at a time for me to craft replies, I literally have hundreds of threads... As a result of this, I don’t drop threads too often either? Usually, they're lingering in my drafts, and it isn’t uncommon for a hella old one to suddenly be thrust onto the dash.
Of course, I never expect people to reply to Old Threads if they don’t want to, and don’t mind either way! I just like offering a response so I didn’t just abruptly drop it. :3 But yeah, I am a very slow roleplayer and while I hope my writing is decent enough to be worth the wait, I’ve had experience interacting with others who obviously prefer things to be quick and constant. Which I am not. Not delving into THOSE experiences because yeah- They weren’t the best. lol But I just want to make it clear that my speed does not equate my interest in a thread or in interacting with others. I am just a hella slow person who wants to write about birbs. 
Replies: 
My replies tend to get L O N G. I am not adept at short threads, and even ones that start out as really small back-and-forth replies are pretty much guaranteed to get longer on my side within a few responses. My muses like to get introspective and I like to get descriptive- I’m talking several paragraphs before they start to talk or even get to the point where they aren’t thinking-about/reacting-to whatever your muse did in the last reply. XD I’ve noticed that my average seems to be three-to-five paragraphs, but it isn’t uncommon for me to break the double-digits at times. Of course, I never expect my partners to match length and as long as I’m given more than a couple sentences in return, it’s all good. 
Starters: 
Whenever I add a new muse, I often post a Starter Call for them. They tend to vary in length, but are often two-to-three paragraphs long because I’ve tried to make single sentence ones and it never seems to work out. Occasionally, I’ll throw out random Open Starters when inspiration or a random idea strikes. These starters are free for as many people to respond to as they want, and are ALWAYS open regardless of how long ago I posted them.  
Inbox: 
My Inbox is always open and I am constantly reblogging RP and Ask memes for it. However, again I shall bring up my Turtle-Like speed because my asks do tend to snowball. Right now I have 966 asks, so it’s no surprise that sometimes they can get lost in the pile. But I have a habit of answering random ones whenever threads aren’t working or I’m in a mood for something specific that a reply won’t give, so that’s why I continuously reblog things. I like having a healthy stash of stuff to answer when needed. So don’t be surprised if an ask you forgot you even sent is suddenly popping up onto the dash. XD 
Selectivity: 
I am semi-selective, meaning that while I am willing to RP with people I am not technically mutuals with, I won’t RP with everyone. I’m not trying to discourage people from approaching or make anyone feel poorly, there are just certain writing styles that I tend to gravitate towards and click more easily with. For example, if I notice that someone’s blog is filled with a surplus of one-liner back-and-forth, uncut replies, chances are I’m not going to follow because I don’t want my dash constantly cluttered. Maybe I’ll RP if they approach and give more than single sentences in our threads, but I’m not going to automatically promise to interact with everyone. Because I did that before and honestly, it’s not fair to me or the other person if I’m not actually enjoying replying to a thread. 
I don’t take graphics or Aesthetics into consideration when it comes to following or interacting. After all, what is important is the writing and the fun. :3 
Wishlist: 
I have a tag for random things that I thought would be fun to explore- #Got The Quacking Craze || {Wishlist}
But if I have to state some specific things, I suppose that right now I’d enjoy threads in some of my AU verses. Specifically, the Siren AU for Fenton because I LOVE that fluffy fish and it’s a shame that I don’t often get to write in it. Another AU that I like is the Robo AU for Louie, and I’ve rarely used it as well. Not to mention, his negaversion Louis is a precious boi who I definitely wouldn’t mind more interactions with. Oh! It’d also be cool to have threads that take place when my muses are kids- particularly: Fenton, Gladstone, and Mark. 
Or threads that take place during College/Teen years. Again with: Fenton, Gladstone, and this time Imma throw Panchito into the mix. Some College Caballeros, perhaps? Some Fenton-still-with-his-assnugget-bf Angst? Some glam-rock-phase Gladstone dealing with the jealousy of his peers, the still-lingering guilt of having ‘killed’ his parents, and crushing on his nerdy best friend all wrapped up in the facade of Teen Drama? JNFFJKSDFNDSF... 
Honest Notes: 
As well as being slow with Replies and Asks, I am oftentimes slow with my IMs. This is nothing personal against anyone! I just get overwhelmed at times and have the memory of a potato. Which means sometimes I’ll think I replied or just flat-out forget until days later. Plus Tunglr LOVES to screw with my messages, so more often than not I’m not even alerted of them until hours upon hours later... Long story short, I really do enjoy talking with all of you and love getting messages from my friendos. Seriously, I don’t mind if when I’m flooded with them. It just sometimes takes me a bit to gather up enough energy to reply coherently.
Random Side Notes: 
My blog is pretty messy and while I’m trying to whip up bios that are more than just notes for my own benefit hastily scrawled down whenever I was in a muse-adding frenzy, lots of info about my muses tend to either be in my own head or jotted down on the random Headcanon posts I sometimes throw into the wild. XD I also have a habit of analyzing the HELL out of things when I get excited, so long-ass posts like those sometimes pop up as well. 
Speaking of excitement, there WILL be times when I gush about the star of this blog- *motions at Fenton* and everyone must Accept That. Because he is my FLUFFY SON and I shan’t apologize for loving him with every fiber of my being. X3 Sometimes I’ll go off about other characters too, but more often than not it is HIM. OOC posts are a thing too.
Sometimes inspiration comes in bursts and muses take over the blog for a day or a few- like right now, how Fenton is dominating everything. My birbs are fickle bishes and I’ve learned to just let them fight over who is going to get the attention, then roll with whoever wins. This is why I encourage people to interact with as many muses as they want and start as many threads as they’d like. That way, no matter which muse is strong or what kind of thread I am in the mood for, there’s a chance something will Work With Me. Besides, I’m always up for new threads and ideas, regardless of how many things we are juggling already. 
That being taken into account- Please understand that I oftentimes don’t know WHO the Hell I’m going to feel the muse for or WHAT threads they will be. So no rushing or nagging for replies because all that does is make my muses drag their feet. :’3 
Tagged by: @soul-heart-and-beyond​
Tagging: Whoever wants to! :3 
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mishimalovemail · 5 years ago
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i’ve seen people’s lgbt headcanons going around so here’s some of mine:
ren: bi nonbinary transmasc. gender is a prison and he chewed through the bars. very pointedly refuses to have a gender because he finds it constraining and wants to stick it to society. is also polyamorous and catches feelings super easily for anyone who even looks at him, regardless of their gender. he sees a cute person and that’s it. 
akechi: gay trans man. any femininity gets passed off publicly as just his pretty boy thing, which works in his favor. doesn’t care much for masculinity of any kind and would rather just be Pretty and cute, which he does well. if given the opportunity, i feel like he would dress differently (less nerdy-masculine), but he has an image to uphold. refuses to cut his hair short.
yusuke: nblm who doesn’t quite understand gender at all due to also being autistic and he has no desire to correct this. has a weird complicated relationship with attraction in general that he can’t put into words well for the same reason. is more into presenting in ways he finds to be aesthetically pleasing than anything else. if you ask him if he’s a guy or a girl, he thinks for too long and then just shrugs and won’t elaborate further. okay with any pronouns, but mostly uses he for ease. his friends will use she or they at his request, but it isn’t really something he thinks about much. 
mishima: bi trans man. tries to be plain and unassuming primarily because he feels like he passes better that way and can blend into a crowd more. like ren, gets crushes very very easily, but this is mostly due to not having many friends growing up and not knowing how to deal with friendliness. 
ryuji: bisexual who thinks he’s straight for 17 years and then suddenly realizes straight guys don’t look at men that way and feels his whole life flash before his eyes. chronically terrible at talking to girls. not much better at talking to guys but at least he can play up the haha i love you bro thing more easily. 
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“The Firebird Trilogy” by Claudia Gray: A Review from an Eighteen Year-Old Teenager Doing a Bachelor’s in Biology
"So does destiny create the math, or does math create our destiny?" "Insufficient data," Paul said.  
How did I get here?
So, my friend and I were talking, as friends do, and we went through this rabbit hole involving Powerpuff Girls Z and Zenith. And we came to the topic of A Thousand Pieces of You.
In short, we don’t like it. She stopped at this book. I continued because I was interested enough. That was a mistake. An generous 2/5.
And this isn’t like a thing where all of my friends disliked it. Only the two of us disliked it. Everyone else liked it.
I know I’m not the demographic. I’m not a white girl doing a Bachelor of Fine Arts. I’m asian doing a Bachelor of Science. But whatever.
Imma go into a full review.
Spoilers under the cut.
Good Things:
1. Dimensional Travel. It was the only thing that kept me reading.
2. A sort of exploration of Jean Paul Sartre’s Existence vs Essence
3. The cover art is really nice. It so good. Its like home decoration to me it’s so good.
4. Says “Capitalism is bad.” I like that.
Bad Things:
1. The Characters: Paul and Theo really like Margarita
- Marguerite Caine: I’m not like other girls
Margarita is our protagonist. She’s not like other girls.
We’re pretty different, for sisters—she’s average height while I’m tall; she’s athletic while I’m anything but. She inherited our parent’s love of science and is following in Dad’s footsteps by becoming an oceanographer; I’m the odd duck in the family, the artsy one. Josie’s laid-back while I freak out about every little thing.
She has no interest in science. In a household... where everyone is a scientist. As someone who’s lived in a household where everyone’s a doctor, all of my siblings and I are in some sort of science background. My sister’s a medical doctor, my brother’s a Master in Psychology, and I’m doing a Bachelor’s in Biology. I have no doubt it can happen. But it happens a lot in young adult. I’m tired of humanities main characters. I love the humanities. I don’t know why but everyone I know in science has some sort of humanities background. Everyone in my family can play instruments and paints and does photography. 
And can I just say how pretentious that ending was? Here’s my painting its a unique perspective from seeing my alternate dimension selves. She plagiarised herself. She basically plagiarised her alternate dimension selves. I’ll save those in later
- Paul Markov: Nerdy Love Interest
Love interest. Also Russian. Don’t know who he is.
- Theo Beck: Nerdy Love Interest 2: Bad Boy Boogaloo
Love interest. French(?). Does drugs to stay in bodies because idk.
- Henry Caine: Dad
Like the Beatles.
- Sophia Kovalenka: Mom
Depressed without dad.
- Josie Caine: The pretty one
The pretty one. Died in an alternate universe.
- Wyatt Conley: I see why you like Josie
Rich. Villain. Oh... but he’s in love with Josie. Oh no.
As you can see. The characters are well fleshed out. I have headcanons for all of them. Margarita hates sciences because her sister is good at it and she has to be good at something in her family so she pursues the arts. Paul and Theo have no reason to like Margarita. She’s whiny and really unlikeable. But here we are.
2. The Science: So that science huh?
This is a science fiction novel with a murder mystery element. It should something I should be gushing and loving it.
But the science is, uh, meh? 
So, there’s this thing called a Firebird. And this miracle baby lets you travel between dimensions. I’m no physicist. The best of my physics knowledge involves how organisms abuse the universe’s physics engine.
The most unrealistic thing about the science here is... the fact that these people got funding. The firebird’s supposed to revolutionise modern science. And I can see how, steal info from other dimensions. But no one with enough funding would be interested. And I get that Wyatt would be interested because he could be funding from Capitalist Dimension. I get that. Okay. Fine.
But the explanation. The Firebird is made of materials that easily move between dimensions, can grab onto consciousness, and leaves a dimensional trace. What material? How does it grab onto the consciousness? What is the dimensional trace? We don’t know because Margarita doesn’t know because ALL THE SCIENTISTS WON’T TELL HER BECAUSE SHE WON’T UNDERSTAND?!?! Anyone with a PhD in science is a nerd that will jump at any opportunity to tell you how something works. You might not understand but they will try their damned hardest. AT LEAST GIVE US PHLEBOTINUM!!
There’s this whole thing where Paul explains how universes are formed because of an asymmetry and that sort of let’s us travel between dimensions and that lets us save dimensions being destroyed. Oh yeah, there’s a plot where the Capitalist Dimension wants to destroy universes to get all the fragments of Josie because that’s how consciousness works. I don’t know how it works. These people do. Whatever. But it feels like... how do you get enough energy to create enough antimatter to destroy entire universes? I don’t know but they’ve probably done enough research and experiments. Fine. How did they invent the solution though? They didn’t have the time to do any experiments or research. Oh well.
Also consciousnesses apparently show up in CT scans. Which means they’re altering the brains of these people. That’s a human rights violation. Never mind the highjacking free will thing. This would never, and I mean never, be approved. I had a research proposal where I would feed Tilapia feed that had little bits of microplastics to see how microplastics affect growth and everything. That was not approved due to ethical reasons. They’re even stricter on humans. Shocking.
3. Existence vs Essence: Does that mean I fell in love with every Paul, everywhere?
Now Claudia Gray has the idea there. But it really falls flat and the potential it had made it worse. If you want a young adult series that handles this idea well go read The Monogatari Series by Nisioisin. Its not in the entire series but in one of the books, Kabukimonogatari. 
The entire series is filled with fauxlosophy on this whole thing from Jean Paul Sartre. Admittedly I’m no philosophy major. I took a college philosophy 101 class. That’s my whole thing. I got an A in that class. Those are my credentials.
But Margarita keeps asking if she falls in love with one Paul is it all the Pauls? And if someone in an alternate universe is a murderer does that make her a murderer. But, and this is important, we learn that Firebirds don’t actually find alternate versions of you but a genetically identical version of you that isn’t already in that universe. You see where I’m getting at. They even have a conversation with all the Margaritas she’s ruined in the Sextuplet Universe where she’s sextuplets Osomatsu-san style.
Her questioning was pointless especially since it continues after this point. And she tries so hard to be like, “but if my circumstances were different I’d be Murderer!Margarita.” And Mob Psycho 100 by One deals with this concept really well. Mob gets transported into an alternate world, with no memories, and spends six months there being bullied with no friends or anyone to confine to. He ends up evil. And the villain goes on to say like, “see, you’re only good because of your circumstances!” when Mob gets his memories back. And Mob goes, “that’s right. i’ve been shaped by the people around me and my circumstances. I should be grateful!” 
Claudia Gray’s solution is basically Paul goes like “don’t worry because you guys are mathematically close but different so you guys are fundamentally different.” Which is like, no. They’re arguing that essence comes before existence. Which is kinda supported by the fact that every incarnation of her is an artist. Like, not a single Margarita likes science in the multiverse. That makes zero sense. Like what?
In conclusion please do not read this. Or do. Lots of people like this.
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crossroadsimagine · 5 years ago
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★//1//Could i ask for a halloween match? For Boku no hero or Gintama. I'm a straight female. Halloween stuff: I don't really care much about the holiday itself, but i like the idea of having a nice halloween movie evening with scary films (i'm easily scared) + cuddling. I'm more for a "calm halloween" and don't like going on parties, not on halloween, not generally. If my partner likes halloween, i'd be up for fun with trick or treat/matching costumes though! no party, i feel lonely on parties.
🎃 Note: Marvel was added in a later part of the info, so don’t think I answered this with the wrong match up. lol
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👻 Matched with Peter Parker
Peter takes an interest in you quickly after meeting you  and even just seeing you around and interacting with others will pique his interest, because seeing your personality will make him want to get to know you and begin to fall for you but he’ll need to spend time with you before he really falls and once he does fall for you he falls hard and fast. 
Spending time with you either just the two of you or in a group like going to festivals, the zoo or amusement parks in a group of friends, or even more casual things like eating lunches together, studying together etc. He just needs to spend enough time with you to see your real personality, but even when he knows he’s developed feelings for you he can struggle with when and how to go about telling you how he feels and asking you out. 
He can be rather shy about going through with asking you out so he can wait longer than he really wants to before asking you out, this means it can be weeks or months before he actually follows through with asking you out. He won’t plan anything really all that special to ask you out, just one day in the afternoon he’ll walk you home or maybe take you out for something simple like ice cream, milk shakes, coffee something he knows you like. 
Which he will seem quite nervous and uncomfortable the entire time because he’ll know what he wants to say but he’ll struggle to actually say it. But he will relax a bit once he manages to get it off his chest and you agree to go out with him. 
Once the two of you do begin dating, he is very attentive, caring and respectful towards you, he can be kind of nervous or easily flustered when it comes to affection and particularly with PDA. He doesn’t instigate a lot of affectionate or physical contact at the start of the relationship, he needs time to feel more comfortable around you first. 
Which you can’t initiate physical contact too much aside from some nudges though you don’t typically think of it, he will instigate more affectionate acts later on when the two of you are alone but generally doesn’t like too much PDA and at most can be comfortable with holding hands in public, too much more than that can embarrass him. You can be lazy at times and it actually kind of embarrasses you and you also tend to cry very easily particularly when it comes to movies and different shows, but he is understanding and won’t make you feel bad for any of this especially any time you cry. 
Though you can catch him off guard or fluster him a bit if he isn’t sure why you are crying, like watching a movie that isn’t particularly sad or a movie he doesn’t see as sad and you crying over it. He may not immediately link you crying to the movie and wonder if something happened unrelated to the movie. You like music and have a tendency to live in your mind a bit, and you do have a bright imagination and you space out a lot, which doesn’t bother him and he can even find it pretty cute. 
He loves spending time with you and even simple ways and just talking with each other, he can be a very good listener but there are times when he can be very clearly distracted. He’s not clingy though and doesn’t need to spend every minute with you and will give you space when you need it, or any time you just want to be by yourself. You can get tired of too much social interaction and can need some time to yourself now and then, which is fine because he’ll want time to himself as well from time to time. 
He’ll never let you feel alone though and is pretty observant when it comes to noticing that something isn’t right or that something is bothering you, like if you are sad or if you had a rough day, even if you are trying your best to hide it. He will never pressure you to talk to him and won’t ask too many questions if he feels like you are down and don’t want to talk, but he does encourage you to talk or at least lets you know that he is there for you if you want to talk. 
But generally he is more comforting to you physically though he also tends to ramble when he’s trying to comfort you verbally cause he doesn’t know exactly what to say to make you feel better, when he’s trying to comfort you physically it can just be with simple gestures, hugs, cuddles, holding your hand/s, playing with your hair, patting or rubbing your back or other things he knows you like. 
You do get stressed pretty easily and often think of the worst case scenario, which can make you think rather negatively at times, while he can be more of the opposite and is more positive and optimistic but at the same time he can also be realistic in certain situations but will always go out of his way to help you and cheer you up. 
When it comes to Halloween, he can be interested in the holiday but it also depends on what else is going on and if he’s really busy, if he has time for Halloween activities he’ll be up for it and even more so if you or friends are really interested in doing Halloween stuff. He’s not really crazy about going to parties and prefers a more laid back get together among close friends or even just the two of you, and you don’t really care for parties either and can feel rather lonely at parties even. 
So, something like a small get together for friends (Only like 4 or 6 people including you two) to watch a few Halloween movies and play some board games or card games is more along the lines of something you’d both be comfortable with. 
Though for actual Halloween he’ll prefer to spend it just with you watching some horror movies, eating snacks or take out, and mixing in some other things like video games, board games, card games etc. The movies don’t even have to be anything to horrifying and can be new or old classics, perhaps you picking a movie or two and him picking a movie or two to watch and kind or making a day or evening of it. He’ll like doing some decorations or at least carving pumpkins together and he will give you candy for Halloween, but really doesn’t make a big deal of the holiday. 
Over all he is very loving, supportive and cares about you a lot he does worry about your safety and well-being and wants the best for you, this makes him very encouraging of your dreams and goals for life. He will be by your side for all of it even if the two of you can’t be together all the time, he will always check in on you and make sure you are doing alright. He is protective of you and will make sure you are okay and safe always; he’ll have your back no matter what comes up and is a very reliable and loyal partner.
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👻 Headcanons between you two
🎃 Has a tendency to hug you, squeeze your hand or kiss your forehead if he feels like you need comforted or encouraged, he also like cuddling with you with you lying against his chest, sitting next to each other with his arm around you or even you sitting on his lap or between his legs with your back to his chest.
🎃 Can be kind of on the fence with costumes it may not be something he’s overly excited about or interested in, but can be far more interested if you want to wear costumes even matching ones he’ll go along with or if friends push him to dress up. Though he can be more interested in classic horror costumes or clever nerdy costumes.
🎃 He can be more interested in carving pumpkins and Halloween candy or even decorations for Halloween, especially when it comes to clever or handmade Halloween decorations or home-made Halloween based sweets, like cookies that look like spiders or ghosts.
🎃 Really likes listening to you talk about things you are passionate about your hobbies, your interests, your dreams and goals for the future. Because he will like talking about what the future will be like for the two of you and what your dreams are, what Universities each of you want to attend and more.
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myfandomrambles · 6 years ago
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Lars Barriga Character Analysis
Facts:
Is a (nominally) Filipino teenager, likely around a senior in high school who lives in Beach City. 
Had a falling out with his childhood friend
Very stereotypical disaffected teen
Slacks off at work
Dances around attraction to his co-worker
Has a strained but generally caring relationship with Steven
Wants to join the “cool kids”
Can be paralyzed by fear
Has experienced a lot of side effects from the Gem stuff around them
Has his body possessed by Steven
Tries to join a band but is unable to ever engage those people
Is kidnapped in the “My Mom” attack
Ends up captured on Homeworld due to his own anxiety
Dies saving Padparadscha Sapphire
Becomes a revived human by the Pink Diamond Power through Steven
Fight with his new friends and steals a plain
Becomes the captain of the Off Color Gems fighting off other Gems
Pilots himself from Homeworld back to earth
Analysis:
Lars is a pretty relatable teen, he is struggling to find an identity and friends. Deals with relationships that are a bit complicated, past relationships that didn’t work out and a job he chronically slacks off at. His own insecurities and sometimes myopic focus tend to override his life to a point of severe problems.
Lars spends much of the show up till season 5 as a stereotypical anxious slacker. But ends up in a place of being a leader and much more confident. Lars shows clear signs of anxiety for the show and it creates a huge problem for him. He has almost no friends outside of Steven and a strained relationship with Sadie. His parents are shown to be worried about him because his grades are terrible and he seems highly distressed often. His self-esteem issues caused him to act fake around people a lot meaning many people are surprised if he ever shows confidence.
In the finale of season 4, he ends up with Steven captured being taken to the gem Homeworld. His paralyzing anxiety stops him from escaping. His anxiety makes it very hard for him on homeworld steen having to lead and protect him hear even with his own stress. During their escape, they run into the off colours who are “broken” on Homeworld. Lars bonds with them and we can see he feels guilty if he were to get them hurt. He is able to dredge up his courage to protect them fighting the bots chasing them as the others can’t because he has no Gem. In the end, he essentially dies saving the others. Puts himself in front of the beam and Padparadscha Sapphire. Steven then brings him back to life with his healing tears. Lars is transformed into a creature of indeterminate status like Pink Lion, a creation of the Pink Diamond based powers.
After this symbolic rebirth, he is first terrified understandably but accepts this. He lets Steven go home through his portal even if this leaves him stranded. The other Off Colours stayed with him, unwilling to leave him stranded with nobody and no way to protect himself. He bonds with them and even helps them take an escape attempt. They are able to capture a spaceship and head for earth. In this role las finds his confidence and acts as their “captain” taking charge of their future protection. He bonds well with them as he can be as funny and weird as he likes. They already consider him brave and worthy from his previous actions, and being victims of prejudice themselves don’t expect anything from him. The Rutile Twins and Rhodonite also show similar anxiety to the king he experiences and Padapsher is coded as neurodivergent in her own right.
His obliviousness of others and anxiety can come across as pretty problematic in his relationship with Sadie. They have a kind of song and dance around crushing on each other. Both being over possessive of each other and show affection in a broken way. Sadie let herself often become a doormat to avoid confrontation with Lars. She also performs horribly possessive acts like stranding them on an island hiding the way home in Island Adventure (01X30). This is the first time both show romantic affection through kissing, but largely feels rather taken advantage of and not loving. They don’t move forward well after this. Lars struggles to show affection to never expressing the way he feels clearly. His anxiety and slacker mentality interfere with anything that could be, and the possessive ways Sadie acts he feel put off, not really understanding how much he wanted to be around her after being stranded in space. His reactive inferiority complex makes him feel abandoned by her having new friends.
Lars and Steven’s relationship was generally friendly, and Steven even seemed like the only person currently who he hung out with on a more level playing field. It was impossible for him to push Steven away or run away from him because Steven never let him. Acting essentially as an annoying younger brother. Steven does want him to form new friends but doesn’t really understand Lars’s social anxiety issues. In The New Lars (03X10) Steven poses Lars in a kind of creepy way. There is an inherent violation here that is understandable disconcerting to him. It does allow Steve to see some of how Lars lives but takes the ability to “fix” his problems not taking into account what he would want. This has a few effects on their relationship outside of making Lars more anxious around Steven and the other Crystal Gem’s powers for a long period of time. 
As of I Am My Mom (04X24) Lars and Steven’s relationships changes extremely. The whole arc on Homeworld after this ending in Lars’s head (05X04) makes them into a more equal relationship in power. Lars’s new found confidence allows him to have new friends who respect him with the off colours. He is no longer the odd one out with her friends so he and Steven no longer have an annoyed sibling dynamic but colleagues in fighting a broken system. Lars new confidence also allows more direct affection like hugging Lars was scared to previously shown.
A past relationship we get some insight into is he had a friendship in previous years with Ronaldo. It’s shown they were pretty close to best friends. In Horror Club (01X41) we get this backstory during an adventure Lars, Steven, Sadie and Ronaldo go on. As kids, they share a love of slightly nerdy things and Horror movies. Ronaldo and he saw something spooky and supernatural. Ronaldo's obsession with “Keep Beach City Weird” type things wanted to show off images and expose supernatural things. Lars, however, destroys the images out of fear others will see it and humiliate him. This broke their relationship pretty fast, and it seemed to continue to be something Lars felt bad about doing on impulse. They don’t really talk it all the way through, but express kindness at the end, maybe showing no longer being mad about it.
Lars was never my favourite, relatable with my personal anxiety but he often was annoying. His stories lacked relevance for many seasons but when we get to his involvement in major plotlines on Homeworld the past descriptions of self-esteem problems and anxiety made the personal arc satisfying. His fining of courage partially by accident but really accepting the role of protecting others. Through taken charge, he starts to feel very strong and proud through this. He is one of the side town characters whose arc had a real effect. He along with Peridot and Amethyst have the strongest complete arcs. It was disappointing to have gaps afterwards not seeing much of the Off Colours and e bonding and stealing their ships. The time skip robs us off more slow build up in plot lines and character things.
He is a character who was able to tease out to be a pretty interesting strong character after a clumsy start. He is able to transcend his slacker behaviour and rudeness toward Sadie and Steven. It is also disappointing that until the Off Colours both of his friends did some rather controlling behaviour towards him. I hope they do something with him and the off colours moving forward.
Nd Headcanons:
Social Anxiety Disorder/Generalized Anxiety Disorder:
Avoiding social situations and anything that could cause
Catastrophization
Distracted by fear and preoccupation when in social situations
Fear of rejection
Fear of talking and/or otherwise engaging with other people
Has some “safe people”
Masking
Panic Attacks
Physiological symptoms: Freezing up, vocal changes, nervous energy
Preoccupation with fitting in
Rising anxiety around new friends
Rumination of being embarrassed
Trouble forming relationships based on his anxiety 
Depression:
Concentration issues
Difficulties with relationships
Executive dysfunction issues
Hopelessness in his own ability to do more
Low self-esteem
Restlessness 
Struggling in school
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seyaryminamoto · 6 years ago
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Do you have any Sokkla family head-canon? I'm craving some Mum Azula :)
Hmm, well, I have several, but I’d rather not be too spoilery so… under the cut!
In most my stories, Azula finds balance in her own life and peace in her role in the world. Said role varies depending on the story, but she generally grows, develops, becomes a better person without losing her edge, all those things we Azula fans adore about her character.
Naturally, Sokka has a great deal to do with all this, and it’s relevant because he helps her feel better about her vulnerabilities, helps her feel safe even when she’s defenseless in front of him. With this, Azula slowly but surely becomes more open and understandable of what love is, and she experiences it properly for the first time in her life through the man who shall be her husband and father of her children :D
This, then, translates to how she’ll relate to said children once they’re born. I’m not going to explain in full detail how certain things will unfold in the story I’m obviously talking about, but I’ve always planned for Azula to be very attached, to the point of paranoia, of her firstborn, a daughter. Azula takes care of her from the moment she finds out she’s pregnant and through every moment later because… well, I’m not going to explain the main reason why xD but in short, she doesn’t even think it through, she just has to protect her daughter no matter the cost. 
When the baby is born, her life changes. Motherly instincts she never knew she had in her pour through, and the eagerness to protect the child only increases. So she’s careful with the baby, constantly making sure she’s okay, only trusts a handful of people with her and never is far away from her for too long. This doesn’t really mean she’s suffocating the baby… I like to imagine her talking to Hotaru even about serious things, when the kid is very young still. She’d also like to listen to her daughter, to try to understand what she needs and wants, whether it’s something simple like needing a new diaper, or something else, like being afraid of bad dreams. I think Azula’s only lesson learned from Ozai will be to treat her daughter as an ally, but Azula does that without treating her as a tool. As in, they’re in the same boat together and have to support each other through and through. And as Hotaru is still a baby, Azula needs to take the best care she can of her, since babies are pretty hopeless xD so Azula establishes a bond with the little girl pretty quickly, looks after her with surprising devotion and indeed makes difficult decisions to protect her if need be. Needless to say, Hotaru is seldom happy when she’s away from her mom’s comforting presence.
… I hope none of that was spoilery xD but either way, another headcanon: Azula sings this song to her children!
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Admittedly, I borrowed this headcanon from someone else… but the voice is even similar to Azula’s in a few points of the song, so I said “DAMN RIGHT SHE SINGS THIS!”
Also, if anyone’s curious and thinking the song rings a bell… this is what she sings with Xin Long back in Gladiator’s 67th chapter :’D the ridiculous scene where Xin Long looks through her childhood memories, finds this song and TRIES to sing it despite being a dragon… well, it’s this one xD I planted that seed THAT long ago :’D
“Well, I wasn’t judging your weird song on sunsets and stars and whatever it was you were singing about!” Sokka said, proudly,
Anyways xD there’s a headcanon I am adamant about too, and it’s that once Hotaru is older she starts playing with dolls, of course! Which, as we know, is NOT Azula’s forte.
… But I suspect Sokka is pretty good at it, thanks to the unaired pilot episode xD
So one day Azula walks into their room to find Sokka happily playing with their daughter, and she’s blown away xD Sokka is flustered but defends his right to play with dolls, and eventually Hotaru herself convinces Azula to join them. Azula is very awkward about it because she doesn’t really know how to do this… but after a while she understands the rhythm of the game, creates a personality for her chosen doll and things just go bonkers from there xD for the first time in her life, a fully-grown Azula discovers dolls maybe aren’t so boring if you have someone worth playing with.
As for the other kids, Shun is a firebending fanboy who adores his mom on principle because she’s awesome and amazing (and he’s right to think so xD). Sokka would say it’s only natural that she’d charm their son that way, seeing how she charmed him too xD but anyways, their bond is quite positive and Azula helps him with training sometimes (Hotaru too, but as Shun is more devoted to firebending he usually asks for her opinion more often). He’s also pretty nerdy, loves history and learning about past events that no one even remembers, so both Azula and Sokka tend to get him books on history that he can eat up and later tell them heaps of things about.
I think Azula’s second pregnancy (Shun) is much smoother than Hotaru’s, she’ll have less reasons to be on edge this time. She’ll forge a similar bond with Shun since he’s a kid, trying to foster genuine trust between them both, trying to be in tune with whatever he needs, and that way she establishes since he’s very young that he can count on her. Ergo, he does when he’s older, all the time xD
Yuuna is the last, and as she was an apparent non-bender who then turned out to be a waterbender, things are pretty different here. Azula does her best to establish the same bond as with the two previous kids, but she worries that she can’t help Yuuna with developing her bending skills the way she can with her two older children. Yuuna is also a little more unpredictable and takes after her dad A LOT… but that resemblance to her father just makes Azula love her lots xD any sign of Sokka traits in their children is always something Azula loves dearly.
Yuuna is also the scientist, and she’s unpredictable in regards of the way her brain works. She is curious about EVERYTHING, asks unexpected questions like “what’s inside an eyeball? Is it gooey? How do we SEE through it? Why doesn’t Toph see even if she has eyeballs like us?” and so on and so forth xD she’s inquisitive, persistent, lacks common sense in most regards and disregards most of societal norms (that artwork I did recently with them and the babies? Well, Yuuna’s hair probably only stayed like that for like… 5 minutes and then she took off the hair tie and ran around investigating things in the Palace xD).
Azula of course has some trouble figuring out what to do with Yuuna because, on one hand, she wants the girl to cause little trouble, but on the other, she realizes some things are important to her daughter the same way some things are important to her. And she doesn’t want to shut down her interests, unless they’re genuinely dangerous interests. So Azula struggles at times with how to take care of Yuuna, but never to a point where Yuuna feels unloved or unwanted by her mother, not over her waterbending or anything else. They’re more prone to having conflicts than Azula is with the other two, especially if Azula sets limits that Yuuna fails to understand, but ultimately Azula respects her daughter, all her children, and that teaches them how to respect her too.
Azula is convinced she’s not their children’s favorite parent xD that they prefer Sokka, and she’s happy for it if anything. She loves seeing him with the kids because he has a way with them, always makes them laugh, goofs about and they love him for it. For once, she doesn’t care to be the best, the #1 at something, and ironically, that she’s not competing with Sokka over who’s the favorite parent makes her even better as a mother than she knows xD in the end, I can’t really tell you who’d win in a popularity contest with the kids xD
Pretty much all her children admire her, and if anyone messes with their mom they’re ready to throw down because of it. I think Hotaru will eventually hear stuff about her parents’ past at school and be very confused about what she’s being told, her school friends all have inappropriate crushes on Sokka because he’s sooo heroic and to her it’s just weird because he’s her loveable dorky dad? xD Either way, Shun definitely would get into a fist fight with anyone who badmouths his mom or dad xD Yuuna would probably just start asking insidiously WHY the other person is saying all these things before dismounting their entire insult via nothing but empirical evidence xD arguing with Yuuna is a bad idea for anyone, really.
As for their parents’ past, yes, I don’t think Sokka and Azula would tell their story to the children so quickly, and I also doubt the kids would expect much from the story to begin with. As far as they can tell, these are their parents, that’s their role in life and that’s all there is to it, right? It would take time for them to realize that woah, a Fire Nation royal married a Water Tribesman, that’s not exactly common in their world… how did that happen?
Of course, the questions begin eventually and by then Azula and Sokka end up agreeing to tell their story to the kids. They will of course skip a lot of things that are not appropriate for children to hear xD but theirs is quite the love story, and they take pride in it… so the day comes when they share it with their little ones, and after the MANY storytelling sessions, because as we know this story can’t be told so quickly xD the kids only admire their parents more.
So yep, happy family indeed! I have other ideas, more story-oriented, one where Sokka gets caught by a gang of criminals who don’t realize who he is, his guard is down, Azula has to go save him and, in pure The Incredibles fashion, Shun and Yuuna sneak aboard her ship while Hotaru is left at home to panic over what’s going on xD obviously, Azula and her two stowaways save Sokka, who’s fine and has every finger and toe still in place, Azula will give him the scolding of a lifetime before kissing him and being grateful he’s okay. Shun of course is grossed out by the kissing and amused by the scolding xD Yuuna is just happy her dad is safe now.
And I guess that’s more or less what I can think of right now. Hope that was a nice doseage of Sokkla family headcanons and Mum!Azula :D
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ammeh7 · 6 years ago
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7KPP Week 2019 - Day 4
Letters || Learning
When you were 15 your schedule became so filled, your parents insisted you only had time to continue studies with one of your tutors. 
One of my headcanons about my nerdy SP Ambrine is that going into the Summit, she’s best known internationally for having broken down crying when her parents made her give up her tutors at 15 (the other countries clearly have Opinions on how Arland treats its women, royal tutors were certainly often important enough to go back and spread gossip in their home courts, and who could resist the urge to gossip about how tragic and oppressive your termination was?), so I just had to write that scene for the Learning prompt!
“But—” This can’t be happening. All of them?
Her father shakes his head. “I won’t repeat myself, Ambrine. We’ve indulged you on this, but you need to focus your attention on matters that will prove useful to your future nation.”
“As a Princess of Arland, there are certain expectations you need to meet,” her mother adds. “Expectations that we have been remiss in allowing you to neglect. At your age, Constance was far more prepared for marriage.”
She understands everything they’re not saying aloud. She has a great deal to compensate for—she’s taller than is considered becoming of a lady, of a height with some of the men in her father’s court. Her face has been called expressive, pleasant, even handsome, but never beautiful or pretty by any but the most transparent of sycophants. Her waist-length curls look lovely when her maids have finished with her, but muss up at the slightest provocation.
She knows the steps to all the formal dances, but she can’t flow into them, can’t float across a room or make artistry of her motions. She knows all the polite little things to say in conversation, but she sometimes catches herself staring off into space, and it doesn’t matter that she can repeat their last several sentences verbatim, people think she’s ignoring them. Sometimes she even is, her mind running off without her consent.
She’s too forward, has been told that her attempts at being charming cross some inscrutable line into flirtatious. Sometimes she talks too long, or makes leaps in conversation that only make sense to her. At times she misses cues that everyone else seems perfectly capable of reading, and blurts something out at the wrong time, or stands around like an idiot because she didn’t realize she was supposed to leave.
But surely she can improve on all that without giving up all her tutors.
“I—of course I’ll gladly learn whatever skills I need to fulfill my duty,” she says. “But—is it truly necessary that I completely abandon my other lessons to do so? Being well-rounded would surely make me a more appealing bride. I’m certain we could reduce the length or frequency of my current lessons—” she looks over at her tutors, gathered off to the side, for confirmation, and gets some encouraging nods. “It would force me to learn to accomplish more with my time, which is a skill I’m sure would serve me and my future household well.”
The idea of giving up all her lessons is horrifying. Her math tutor, Lady Sumie, has been teaching her the most beautiful patterns with shapes, how to calculate all sorts of measurements from the merest scraps of information. She’d promised that next they’d move onto the art of formal proofs practiced in Jiyel, had already sent for books on the topic. Her ethics and philosophy instructor, Sir Vincent, has lately taken to holding their lessons in the form of lively debates that leave her energized for hours.
Perhaps she can learn from books about the period where Corval split from the old Revairan empire, but her history tutor Mistress Pembrey brings so much more life to the telling. There are entire realms of the natural sciences she’s yet to cover with Master Brelton. She’s finally at the point where vocabulary is her main barrier to conversing in Jiyelian, and she’s barely even started learning Skaltic. It’s not as if it’s unlikely she might need to know those languages someday; that’s half of her options! And—and—the adjective declensions in Skaltic are fascinating, and she’s only just starting to get the hang of it…
“Of course you’ll continue some of your lessons,” her mother assures. “Lady Clemence tells me you still have much to learn about Revairan and Wellish ballroom and dining etiquette.”
“What of mathematics? Rhetoric? History? Language?” she asks, distress breaking her voice and making her inquiry far more abrupt than intended. “Surely those skills are just as important as my comportment at balls.”
Her father frowns. “Watch your tongue, Ambrine.”
Her mother raises a single finger. “I will allow you to continue one additional area of study. You may choose rhetoric or history. I know what you’ve been covering in your mathematics lessons of late, and it’s far outside the skills needed by a lady in your position. You need to be able to manage finances, not…design aqueducts.” Her nose twitches in a way that suggests she would be wrinkling it had she not trained herself out of such indelicate gestures. “You can learn your new country’s language after you’re married should that prove necessary. And allowing you to study the sciences at all was an indulgence, one that I am now regretting.”
She knows that, that’s why she didn’t mention them…
“It’s most important that you focus on polishing yourself and familiarizing yourself with the peerage of the other kingdoms,” the Queen continues with a firm look. “Your other studies are becoming a distraction.”
“But—” She feels tears welling up. “I’m sure I could balance it all if you’d just allow me to try—” Her voice cracks.
“Ambrine!” her father snaps. “Decorum!”
She shouldn’t cry. She’s making a scene in front of her parents, and all her tutors are here, and Lady Sumie is such a terrible gossip, and she’ll be going back to Jiyel, and—oh, she’ll be going back to Jiyel! The loud sob she’s been fighting down breaks free.
“History, please,” she chokes out, clutching at that boon before they retract the offer in the face of such unseemliness. “Master Amari has been missing his family in Corval and might appreciate the opportunity to return to them.”
Sobs continue to escape as she thinks of everyone she’ll be losing. Master Amari, whose tales of Corval were the closest she could feel to Constance. Master Brelton, who can’t stay on topic to save his life but always has something fascinating to share. Lady Sumie, who makes art out of numbers and finds it endearing when Ambrine unconsciously finds new and exciting ways to sit in her chair…who uses the cover of their Jiyelian lessons to share the most outrageous gossip. Sir Vincent, who likes to present moral quandaries that make her want to tear her hair out, always has a cup of strong tea waiting to help her focus. Mistress Nemar, her music tutor, who has yet to give Ambrine a straight answer on why she learned Skaltic.
There’s still so much she could learn from them.
She feels wicked for even thinking it, but if she were only expected to attend mass weekly like the peasants do, instead of every morning, she’d surely have time to continue another area of study. She knows better than to even consider voicing the thought, pushes it down like she’s attempting to push down the completely inappropriate weeping that’s overcome her.
“Very well,” her mother says stiffly, obviously mortified at the display she’s making. “I’ll also be informing Lady Clemence that you’re in need of additional tutelage on your comportment.”
And that was that.
--
“Does that say…Sumie Lian?” Ambrine asks, squinting across the table at the latest mathematical treatise that’s just arrived in the mail for Lyon.
Lyon nods, gathers it up and hands it to her. “Yes. You know her?”
“She was…my tutor, up until I was 15. Mathematics and Jiyelian. She was probably my favorite, in retrospect, though at the time I was just upset to lose all of them”
“I heard. You cried.”
She flushes. With his general lack of interest in social affairs, she’d been hoping there was some way that story wouldn’t reach him.
“I didn’t understand why, though,” he adds.
“Why I cried?”
“Why they thought you should stop learning.”
“They just…decided I was done. Needed to stop filling my head with ‘useless’ things and focus on husband acquisition.”
Lyon snorts. “That’s stupid. Any person with sense would appreciate an educated partner.”
“That’s what I told them!” Ambrine exclaims, feeling righteously vindicated, 4 years late.
“Did you want to invite her over?” Lyon segues abruptly, nodding at the treatise. “You…should have friends over when you want to. And I wouldn’t mind an opportunity to ask her some questions about her writings on the nature of infinity.”
Right. That’s…a thing she can do, now.
“I’d love to.”
And that’s that.
(For folks who picked up on it, yes, Ambrine has ADHD.)
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