#but i also think that their main food source is sharks
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Just found out electric eels a) technically aren't eels, they're just fish that look like eels and b) swim in a special way that make them extremely fast swimmers (with average speeds of 62 mph)
So anyway, merperson au where the speedsters are electric eels
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idalievu · 6 months ago
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Time for my daily thoughts about how Jaws is rife with potential for an anti imperialist anti capitalist analysis
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0nelittlebirdtoldme · 1 year ago
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For Heesung, I thought he was a red flag mostly because the “apparently innocent second ML turns out to be a huge, even bigger asshole than the main ML” is a trope I’ve already seen a lot in BL, but mostly in shoujo. Also, him buying Dan all those gifts really rubbed me the wrong way, because a stranger essentially spending so much money on expensive designer stuff with second intentions buy the affection of someone they’ve known for a week or so seemed very alarming to me. Feels like love-bombing but with gifts. But turns out, he’s not the two-faced monster I thought he was going to be!
But, uh… You mentioned you thought Jae might let Heesung have a turn with Dan… Honestly, with the way Heesung reacted, I bet he thought he’d have a turn with Dan too. He blushed when he saw Dan and when Jae told him to be quiet and come closer, Heesung did exactly that while blushing. He only looked truly disturbed, scared and hurrying to leave after Jaekyung threatened him. Which might be me misinterpreting that scene, but for that he’s not out of my watch. Still, I think he might give up on Dan after that.
On another note, a lot of people ignore that Jae has been sadistic from the very beginning. People used the excuse that he “didn’t know about Dan’s situation” but after he quite literally buys Dan from the loan sharks, he knows that what he’s doing is fucked up. He knows he’s taking advantage of Dan— and he’s into it. The look he gives Dan before telling him he cleared his debt and how he tells Dan to “give up his pride” while smiling says it all. He even taunts him about it during their sparring/competition thing, saying
You know, when Dan’s about to be evicted and begs Jaekyung for money, humiliating himself, that’s when their dynamic starts to change. At that point in the story Jae didn’t know much about Dan, and Dan had considerably a lot more “power” and “freedom” in regards to Jae (even though, realistically, he couldn’t), but after seeing Dan on his knees, all beat up, begging for money to move into a new house Jae starts to notice that Dan is desperate and that means he can cross any boundaries — thus the infamous bop-it toy sex scene happens. His past partners could refuse it but Dan can’t.
And later, when he buys Dan from the loan sharks, that’s where their dynamic shifts completely. Before, Jae was just a source of money with no strings attached. Now Dan’s indebted directly to him (saved? no. more like under new management), and becomes completely reliant on Jae to have a place to live and is finacially dependent on him. At this point, Joo has complete awareness of Dan’s situation (even more after meeting his grandma).
He actively enjoys the fact that Dan is 100% at his mercy. And I believe him when he says he sees than as a possession, because in his mind it’s literally how it is. As much as I believe he might already have feelings for Dan, that doesn’t negate the fact that he’s just a possession now. He purchased Dan with money, “saved” him from a shitty situation and took care of the hospital bills for his grandma, in exchange Dan is completely his. And he hates it anytime Dan shows even a bit of resistance or steps out of line, or when outside circumstances (Potato interrupting sex; Dan helping out the other members of the gym; Heesung existing basically) interfere with Dan.
Dan’s the perfect toy that can’t say no to his whims and fetishes like his other partners did, he cooks him food and also takes care of his health and treatments. People say Jaekyung would drop Dan if he found out about Dan’s crush on him, but I disagree. He’d love that shit, because that means Dan won’t leave him and he can use those feelings to manipulate Dan even more. It makes no sense for Jae to drop Dan.
And the scary thing is that those stunts he pulls are CALCULATED!!!!! The car one and now the incident in chapter 34. He plans them in silence, he festers in his own jealousy and anger then acts it out.
Honestly Jaekyung is such an interestingly fucked up character, I love him and I love to hate him. I do believe he’s only going to get more controlling and obsessive from here on. I kinda hate that some people want to defend Joo because he doesn’t need defending. He is what he is, Mingwa knows that they’re doing with his character. He IS abusive towards Dan, and now we’re stepping into a more scary territory with the lying and manipulation, also the break of trust. Again, sorry for the long rant! I knew Jinx would be a dark romance but I thought it would be one of those very light ones where the ML is just a textbook asshole, which is why the recent development caught me off guard.
Oh wow, this is a big one.
Well, who knows, maybe I am in the wrong about Heesung after all. Maybe he too has some sceletons in his closet. Nothing is for certain.
I gotta disagree in one point tho; I do think that Jae does like it at least a bit when Dan puts on a fight, no matter if verbally or physically. Sure, he may be annoyed and roll his eyes, but if I remember correctly, he had been impressed by that hook Dan had thrown in the showers. I don't think he wants him to be a mindless slave either - perhaps he does enjoy him having a bit of a bite and character. And with all that shit he's been pulling, it is clear that he is not only a possessive but also a jealous man, who perhaps slowly starts to get involved, and is handling that absolutely terribly. I don't know. But he sure got issues.
All in all, a bastard. But I still cannot help myself and want to see where this is all going 👀
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alwayslosingtheplot-blog · 6 months ago
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Make a world with me Part 3.5
Part One , Part Two , Part Three
Just jumping right in today as I don't have much time!
More of the Islands
Oceanids - is the name given to a series of tiny islands that are so close you can swim from one to the other. Coral reefs, beaches, raiding parties and pearl diving are what this area is known for. Only the clams are as big as a train car and can fight back so its done in groups with strong spears. The pearls vary wildly in size, from as small as a pinky nail to as large as the torso of a big man. Most of these clams have lots of little pearls and the diving only happens once per year, although groups practice their diving every week in a religious mass-like ceremony as a community. Sharks are always a worry.
Oread - Oread is mountainous. Monstrous birds are known to fly here while chasing prey. This prey is the flying mounts of its people and are incredibly sacred. When a larger bird comes to hunt, the people gather to kill the treat. Oread is sizable, but not large, and its might comes from its aerial capabilities. Many other nations wish to use these flying mounts, but they are incredibly hard to breed and to train. Their diet is specialized (think hummingbirds) and so far recreating their food source else where has proved almost impossible. I can't decide whether to make them little dragons or pterosaurs or more bird/bat-like creatures.
Pegaeae - Known for it's many hot springs their supposed healing properties. There are also many caves in and around Pegaeae in the land and in the seas around it. The caves in the sea are the home are many dangerous eel creatures which make the transit to and from this island treacherous. Only the most desperate travel here.
Pegasides - The flying mounts of Oread can also be found here. In fact, they originated here and their droppings as they flew over other islands spread their food source to the only other island able to naturally grow it. Unlike Oread, most of these creatures here are feral and dangerous. Those who are tamed are smaller and do not belong to a single person but to a village which their pack protects. (Think of wolves compared to dogs).
Pleiades - Legend says that this was the birthplace of people, or that the earliest of people fled here from the mainland, only finding safety by following the stars at night. This is the Southmost island and the star 'Artemis' will always point to Pleiades. It's main city, New Ithaca, holds a great library and has travelling warrior historians whose missions is to gather all the histories of all people and return with them.
Potamides - The Oracles isle. All those said to be prophets have been born on Potamides. This tiny, remote island is often attacked by more powerful nations who do not want a new prophet to change the status quo and it's tiny population spends much of their time hiding. However, with much warning often these attacks are foiled or other allegiances are temporarily formed to protect the isle. The government here use these oracles in other for the nation (and them personally) to profit. Some prophets run away to live freely with the witches on Lampas rather than be locked away and guarded in the 'gardens' of their main city. There is a dedicated elite force - the Pythia - whose job is to 'protect' the oracles who often are sent out to find them and drag them home.
Semystra - Semystra was once a large city and holy temple until a volcano erupted and rendered the isle in two. The channel that now exists between the two halves are now often the route for ships that wish to use the safety of it to travel but do not wish to step foot on the 'cursed' isle. A small number of people live here but are seen as cursed by the other nations which refuse to engage with them. If they travel out, they have to hide their origins just to get other people to speak with them.
Thriae - The people of this island have a secret. The majority of their wealth comes from the mines and subterrain tunnels that naturally occur here. The amber-like gems are highly valued. However, the people here are unaware that this substance is not a gem, but the other shell of a large hive structure full of the termite-like creatures they sometimes have to defend themselves from.
I think that's it for the general over view. I'll start to deep dive into the cultures of each island a bit more after this. I've made a obsidian vault folder for this as well, to help keep it all together. I have some ideas for short stories in some of these. A poisoner girl from the flower isle, a warrior historian following a raiding party to record the damage they are doing and finding them waiting for him, a runaway oracle heading to Lampas and the person chasing them, etc.
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its-blip-on-the-radar · 1 year ago
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I was curious, are you in any fandoms? Or in general like a thing a lot.
oooohkay so. I'm not in any fandoms really, I don't watch online media enough to really say I'm in a fandom
HOWEVER
I am a HUGE science nerd. Especially about biology. I am constantly researching animals and their behavior especially with ocean animals and reptiles. I also really love insects. I'm planning to have a reptile/insect keeping room one day because I love them so much. I have literally told my girlfriend I rather have a blue tegu than a dog. I don't really like furry things all that much if I'm being honest, I relate a lot more to the types of animals people claim are unable to love. Like yeah they probably don't get the burst of oxycotin that humans get about things, but getting a lizard or snake to trust you enough to be held without pitching a fit is amazing!! They're demonized so much in media and I adore them. My main special interest is also sharks so take that for what you will. I relate a little too much to animals that people make out to be "evil".
I also have a big interest in psychology. My brain is ten different levels of fucked so I kinda like doing research into how brains normally function or hell, even how my brain functions. Like the fact that people with schizophrenia are (I think) 80% more likely to experience insomnia than the average person! I just thought I was bad at sleeping but no there's a reason for it! But I'm also a big fan about the science behind human sexuality. I won't get too into the facts of it cuz a lot of it is NSFW, but looking a the science behind getting it on and how it affects the brain and how fetishes and kinks form, ITS SO COOL. I also collect vintage erotica and gay porn because of this gkjdkjlkfldkgl.
I also just generally have a big love for queer history, learning about the aids crisis and the struggles that our community has faced but also just the fact that we've ALWAYS been here... It makes me feel less alone.
And like the last main thing I'm into is spirituality type stuff. I'm actually a certified pagan priest irl, but my disabilities and life circumstances have made me need to take a really big step back from the work I've been doing. But I've always fueled my work in this with the fact I have seen SO MANY people do it the wrong way, that I want to be a guiding force in doing it the right way.
Besides that, I'm really big into the punk anarchist scene, I like the vulture culture community on tumblr here and have a few specimens myself, I build legos and models a lot, I like art (obviously), I'm learning how to do leather, metal, and wood working, and also building costumes or restoring old clothes/shoes. I like music and singing a lot now that my voice has dropped from testosterone, I play Minecraft and the Sims a lot in my free time, I'm not big on video games but I'm trying to get into TF2 again. I'm getting pretty good at the Pokemon Trading Card Game, as well as Magic the Gathering (Magic is much slower than Pokemon TCG if I'm being honest, that game is complicated.)
To be honest most of what I watch on youtube is documentaries, food reviews, and reddit videos, haven't found any youtubers I'm particularly into. Honestly, I spend most of my time scrolling through tumblr and listening to rock music because I'm two weeks away from finally getting to go home after getting stuck in Texas for seven months and I'm kinda stuck in wait mode. Hopefully once I'm back in Chicago, I'll be doing a lot more hobby wise. I might even share some of it here if I get my old camera back.
But yeah, that was a big old ramble, I know it's weird for me to be on the fandom website and not be in any fandoms but it honestly takes a LOT for me to get into series of any kind. 100% of the series or fandoms I'm "into" it just cuz I have an alter from their source. Either way I hope this accurately answered your question! I appreciate being sent stuff a lot!
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voidendron · 1 year ago
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Mermaid AU rambling while I take a break from coloring yeet
My Main Eight + some others are all merfolk, but some of my other OCs are actually human. A few of them are marine biologists and part of a research team studying mermaids because A Lot of humans think they're just nuisances and should be dealt with as such, but the team is pretty sure they're highly intelligent and have cultures and stuff of their own and it's just a language (and location) barrier making communicating with them difficult
Charlie (Chakem) is actually the researcher who discovered that mermaids evolved to fit certain niches in their ecosystems and ones in different areas seem to have different traditions. Some even went through convergent evolution, with sharklike merfolk often hunting with sharks and orcas like members of a pod. He thinks that the only reason they're aggressive with humans was because humans started it, and over the generations merfolk began to instinctively target them to protect themselves.
He's most closely been studying the pair sailors have named "Life" and "Death" - and has found that despite Life missing an arm to make it difficult to pry open the shells of his primary food source of mollusks, Death has learned how to do so for him despite having a vastly different diet.
Charlie's one of the only humans (along with his team) who the pair will let get anywhere close to them, and over his two years of studying them they've even begun bringing him gifts and speaking to him in their form of chirps, clicks, and chitters. Charlie's actually started being able to tell what certain sounds mean due to his time spent around them. The rest of his team consists of father-daughter pair "Kitty" and Jessi, as well as Cody (Kidak).
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The type Xaerez is evolved for rough waters and was hunted to near-extinction, so they adapted a potent venom and good camouflage for staying just beneath the surface, making it much harder for humans to kill them.
The survivors tended to start tracking ships, learning that attacking them during bad storms was an easy way to get food. They have four fingers with webbing between all of them, suggesting they don't use their hands for much besides swimming and holding food still while they eat. It's likely they mostly rely on their powerful jaws for catching and tearing into things.
They have thick scales that are almost leather-like.
It's likely they originally adapted to poison their prey, then follow until it eventually died, though changed hunting methods rapidly in response to their environment.
Loners are common due to their extremely endangered status.
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Synnda's type is adapted for eating mollusks. They have extremely long, hooked fingers that make tool-usage difficult but are perfect for scooping the meat out of a shell. There's no webbing between the thumb and forefinger, making it easy for them to hold things like clams while prying them open, or to use their thumb to do so without webbing catching. It's not unusual for their thumb to be their longest digit.
They adapted with sandy colors, mostly sticking along the ocean floor in fairly shallow areas - though as they've been hunted they've begun going deeper or into color areas to avoid humans, more recent generations have started developing more fat/darker colors to make colder/deeper waters more survivable.
Their faces are typically much less "human" than a lot of other merfolk, consisting of horns and crests. The reason for this is unknown, though Kitty speculates it may have been a fighting/courting method in earlier generations that younger ones no longer partake use to find partners.
Their mouths and teeth are small, making it nearly impossible for them to eat other types of prey outside their usual mollusks. They're typically peaceful and shy, though can use their powerful tails to cause serious injury to would-be attackers.
Loners are common, though it's also not unusual for one to pair with one or two other merfolk. They seem to avoid large groups and get anxious when too many - human or merfolk - are around.
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Qizulth's fills the same niche as vultures, scavenging carcasses to keep the ocean clean. They tend to be small with eel-like tails, allowing them to easily fit into tight spaces, with dark red or pink colors to make them hard to see in deeper areas - their coloring likely being self-defense rather than a hunting method considering they're scavengers.
Their jaws are extremely powerful, able to bite through bones and shells with ease, while their sharp claws make it easy to claw open carcasses. Like Synnda's type, they lack the webbing between their thumb and forefinger. They seem to like making tools, and are typically very curious and intelligent but also cowardly.
They have horn-like cartilage structures, and Kitty believes they're a status thing, with older matriarchs/patriarchs having longer "horns" than others. Those who have been cast out of their circles often have damaged or missing horns, further supporting Kitty's hypothesis.
They like to be with groups, though it's unusual for them to group with types of merfolk outside of their scavenger type. The team is unsure why Life and Death are paired, but attempting to figure it out. Cody thinks it may have been for mutual survival - possibly while they were both captive by humans - but that they developed a bond and didn't wish to separate after escaping or being freed.
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bluesoulforever · 2 years ago
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I would like to write a book.
Fiction, like I said previously, has always been so appealing to me. It's been an escapism from a painful life, but also has brought so much more depth and fulfillment to my every day. What I really want to convey through my book is connection-true human connection, and the magic, or not necessarily magic-but that certain force, certain energy, certain vibe, certain SOMETHING, that we experience when we have a true connection.
That human connection could be not just with a person, it could be with a place, an experience, a song, an image, a sound, words spoken or written, art in many forms, in a touch, in a look, in a feeling when someone enters a room. There are so many ways to experience a human connection, and I want to explore that in writing.
That said, I also want to make the story entertaining, relatable, thrilling, mesmerizing. A story that can make your heart skip a beat, and elicit a wide array of emotion. Its important to feel. I often think I feel too much but I also think, all things considered it is much better than being numb. I've experienced numbness, feeling nothing, feeling empty. In my experience that is the worse end of the spectrum.
I also want to explore the negative, the pain, heart break, grief, depression, anxiety, fear, terror, hysteria, trauma-for those are all human experiences and we gain human connection from sharing those negative experiences, and often this is how we truly heal, learn, and grow.
If souls exist, which I believe they do, I believe writing and reading of human experiences can be a source of soul food, a nourishment, to grow, to nurture, to heal the soul. And if they move on past this life, which I'm honestly not sure about (how could one ever be sure about that?), maybe they can take with them the knowledge gained, take the things saved from the fire and wreckage of this life and plant them in the burned ground, grow a new life from the ashes, rise again, be better for it, but maybe more weary from it as well.
Are old souls a thing? Of course. But why? Is it simply genetics, nature and nurture shaping that individual to who they are? To a large degree I believe yes, but I also believe there is more to it than that..and that is what is fascinating to me.
Before outlining the actual plot or characters I feel it's important to actually pinpoint what really makes the book tick..and I feel at the true core, no matter if I end up writing about boys or dinosaurs, or talking sharks at the bottom of the Atlantic ocean-this is the truest things I want to explore in my books and writing. Souls are fascinating and so is true connection.
Also I believe I will switch between writing on here like a journal and writing actual stories on here. Some days I will want to create and some days I will want to reflect-but the reflections will help the writing and the writing will help me reflect. A mutually beneficial symbiotic relationship if you will.
I think one main character name will be Max.
And that's a good start for tonight :)
-Blue Soul Forever
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altocat · 2 years ago
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Ok I will bite. What do u think abt jenova? Do you think she's actively malicious the way we people are? Or malicious in the way an eldritch monster may seem to come off? I dunno she's such a creepy wretched being. Im obsessed w her shes so fascinating.
Jenova is DEFINITELY malicious in my head, but I think it's a subjective maliciousness.
It's kind of like a shark. A shark will kill anything that gets too close if it's hungry. It won't care about the pain it inflicts, so long as it gets what it wants for survival. Now add to that a man-eating shark that intrinsically targets humans because it views them as the best source of food. It's still all about survival.
Jenova wants her fill of planets. But it's out of instinct first and foremost. It's part of her makeup to conquer and kill. She doesn't empathize with humanity (or the Cetra) because in her mind, they're all livestock. Expendable and unworthy. And it doesn't matter what she does to them--their customs and morals are not applicable to her. If you don't think about your food, neither does she.
She has more personality than an animal though. In that she can hate or feel some extent of emotion. But they're just a very predatory, low-empathy variation. I think at one point, her thoughts and desires were not as aggressive. But eons of conditioning or some sort of cataclysmic planetary reckoning drive her out and pushed her into her murderous mission. In the end, she only values her own instincts and survival.
I don't think Jenova is even female. I give her female pronouns because the games do, but I think that she's genuinely sexless. I also HC that she's the very last of her kind, hence her planetary travel in order to spread her influence.
As for her relationship with Sephiroth, I believe she manipulated/semi controlled him at Nibelheim and then allowed the altered, insane version of himself that currently exists to fuse with her and take control. To her, he's a useful enforcer of her desires. A pliant worshipper. Not quite livestock due to his cells, and enough for her to aknowledge that they are, in a strange way, similar creatures. He's a very helpful tool. And if he views her as his "mother" that's fine with her. She'll encourage it, expand those feelings, make sure he's in absolute euphoria just to be one with her. She doesn't "love" him because she's incapable of those sorts of human associations. But she does value their relation, as well as his skill. But if Sephiroth were to ever surrender himself back to his human feelings or memories, she will have no more use for him.
Luckily, Sephiroth is a good "son". Completely, mindlessly devoted. Touchingly loyal. He uses Jenova out of his own will and desires, but Jenova is satisfied because it's ultimately HER desires filtered into his own. He is in control. But she IS him. And he is her. And he will never betray her in her conquest. And, in turn, she soothes and caresses and strokes that very unstable, needy section of his psyche that is easily swayed by her influence. It's an extremely parasitical symbiotic relationship.
The only time she feels their link truly being tested is whenever Sephiroth fixates on Cloud or Aerith. It's the only time he truly seems to experience human emotions again (hate and fear and obsession and lust). Cloud in particular seems to draw out such strong emotions from Sephiroth and Jenova is constantly persuading him to drop the vendetta and get their goals accomplished.
Jenova changes her main physical shape every hundred years or so, though she can willingly shift into many different violent manifestations if threatened. Her physical representation is basically dead and dormant. Her active consciousness lies either as an invisible entity that hovers around Sephiroth, or manifests anywhere she wants to be. Shinra never really "owned" her. They had her body, yes, but Jenova hasn't used that old thing in years! She instead followed Sephiroth throughout his life, observing and haunting him. She was never interested in Genesis and Angeal as they were not directly implanted with her cells and thus, not related to her beyond a superficial means.
Jenova can take many forms and use many voices. She is unable to "speak" to humans though. She projects her desires through them and they can use that as a kind of language. She can also shape their dreams or induce hallucinations. She is capable of triggering madness in individuals by producing a terrible, growing vibration and that basically functions as severe tinnitus. She additionally is capable of secreting soothing pheromones from the liquid that coats her skin, rendering the victim drowsy and suggestible. Horrifyingly, Jenova has mechanically debated several times whether or not to mate with her "son", if only to preserve their species and expand her influence. She holds no qualms about the disgusting taboo of the act, but is not sure she could manipulate that out of Sephiroth. Even in his altered state, there's still too much human in him for her tastes. He'd possibly tear her apart for it.
Jenova is ultimately a disgusting, wretched, vile abomination. She isn't evil in her own primitive moral scale. But she would gladly kill all the humans and would even discard Sephiroth if he cannot serve her properly.
Sephiroth has, in the end, essentially unknowingly traded one prison for another.
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multific · 4 years ago
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Trainers
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Owen Grady x Reader
Summary: You are the trainer of the Mosasaurus, you have been working with her since she was a tiny little thing. So, you don’t appreciate when another trainer is asked to check on the work you have been doing.
 You understood that Claire wanted results. But they never understood that a creature such as a dinosaur is not as easy to train as a dog. Nevertheless, when the owner of the park specifically asked for you to be the caretaker of the Mosasaurus, you just knew you had to accept. Being a well respected Marine Biologist in your field, you loved the different challenge this would bring. Although you had to do a lot of studying. You would normally focus on a lot of species, so only having to deal with one animal was quite different. 
When you first saw her, you knew, you understood just how special she really was and you fell in love with the tiny being. Well, back then she was the size of an alligator, but then she grew into her normal size. She got huge. Even her tank spoke to itself.
Momo was chosen to do one of trick for the public. To eat a shark from a hook, splashing water onto the crowd. You knew she wasn’t a circus animal. You understood that, but since you two spent so much time together, a bond formed between you two. And you were more than surprised when she listened to you. 
One late night you were sitting by her tank, looking at her as she swam around. This was all she knew, the water, the hook and you. You often went to the Underwater Observatory where you can look into her tank through the glass. You spoke to her days on end as you just sat there after you finished with your work for the day. 
And one day, it happened.
Just like a dolphin show, you were talking and motioning around and when you moved your hand up as an expression, she jumped out of the water. The very first instant this happened, you didn’t pay much mind to it, thinking it was a coincidence. But then she did it again and again. Just as you lifted your hand up each time.
Progress.
Of course, you were to report every incident, but you chose not to tell them about this new revelation. You were afraid they will exploit her for money even more.
So, as you never reported any progress, Claire decided to send another trainer in.
Owen Grady.
He was supposed to look at your work for a month. You hated being supervised like that.
“Mr. Grady, nice to meet you, my name is Y/N Y/L/N. I’m Momo’s caretaker.”
“Please just call me Owen. To be honest I’m as happy to be here as you are. I’d rather be with my girls, so please just give me a quick run through, so I can leave.” 
“Okay...But, Owen. Claire said that you are to watch me for a month.”
“A MONTH? She didn’t mention that to me. Or I wasn’t listening. Probably the latter.” he made you laugh a little. Maybe it was better that he was the one who was sent and not some uptight ass. 
“Alright. So, it’s hard to miss her tank, or her. She eats a lot. There are public feedings, every two hour she gets a shark. I have been with her since she was born. Little thing she was. She is very stubborn, but I did hand feed her in her early years. She gave me a lovely scar too. From my wrist to my pinky on my left hand.” you showed him the scar. “Silly mistake. But I learned from it.”
“Do you talk to her?”
“I do. Steve thinks I’m mental, since she is under water, she wouldn’t hear. But I like to think that she somehow feels that I talk to her you know?”
He nodded and looked around, then up. He noticed a long walking platform way up high. 
“What’s that?” you looked up where he was looking.
“That is the new idea. Guests would be able to go up there and watch her from there. But they are not sure if she can jump that high, so it’s still not very safe. Although I told them that she wouldn’t be able to, they want to be safe. We can go up if you want to.”
You hated being up there, your fear of heights didn’t help you either. 
“You okay there?” Owen asked as he watched you taking deep breaths and your hands gripping the railing.
“No. I hate it up here.”
“Then why did you suggest to come up?” he laughed.
“I don’t know. It was silly. Can you see her?”
“Yes. She is...swimming. Shockingly. She is 84 feet long and she weights over 30,000 lbs, when the last time we checked. She is rather calm. Prefers to swim around and eats when she is supposed to. She is not socialized with other dinos, considering that the majority would drown in her enclosure. Can we go down now, please?”
Owen stood there, looking at the huge water monster swimming right below him. Then he looked up at you, and gave you a nod.
***
Owen has been working with you for the last week. He gave many ideas on what to do and how to earn their trust.
You also didn’t fail to notice how muscular and handsome he was. 
Each morning he arrived on his bike, looking sexy as can be. And every day he observed you. He watched as you said hi to her every morning, said how you liked to make sure her food was correctly prepared. It was obvious for him that you cared about the Mosasaurus very much. 
Owen wasn’t sure what else they wanted from the dino himself, He knew they created her as an amusement for viewers as a feeding show and nothing more. So, then why did Claire wanted him to come here and watch over you. As far as he was concerned, this particular dino wasn’t even the need of a caretaker. She just swam around and ate sharks as an attraction. He suspected there was something more behind the story he had been told. 
Owen admittedly loved the Underwater Observatory. It was cool down there, not only the weather, but they you can look into the enclosure and watch the majestic beast.
He also took a liking to it’s trainer. Even if he wasn’t sure what you were training the dino to do.
“How about tomorrow you come over to the raptors? I can show them off for you like you did with Momo.” Owen came up with the idea on his second week during lunch time.
“Oh, sure. I would like to.” Little did he know that you showed the very least to him.
During his two weeks, Owen and you formed some kind of friendship. You would be lying if you said that you didn’t like him, even if you knew about the rumors about his dating methods. But he never once hinted on anything with you. Or you just didn’t notice. Which was also a possibility, you were quite oblivious with men.
So, the next day after making sure that Momo was all set and healthy, we headed to the raptors. 
Although I wasn’t that interested in land species, his four girls amazed you. 
“Wow. they listen to you so well.” you said smiling at him as you watched the four inside the paddock. 
Owen looked very proud of himself. 
You spent all day at the velociraptor paddock. Owen told you about the plans that they had. And it was exactly what you feared would happen to your girl.
Exploiting them for military or personal gain. 
The thought disgusted you.
These were amazing creatures. In your opinion you should be learning from them, and not using them for war.
In the evening, everyone has left, you and Owen were still at the raptors’ paddock. You looked down at them running around.
“I don’t want Momo to have the same fate. Military? Really? That’s what we are doing now? These creatures are amazing, beautiful. Even the fact that we keep them on display is rather disgusting let alone using them as weapons.”
“I agree with you. But I can also see how they would be able to save many lives. Men and women.”
“But they will never be able to control them like that. Not by their own free will. It takes time. You have known them since they were little. Momo is... she is basically an attraction to them, nothing more. They wanted me to each her tricks. Like she was a fucking pony. Jumping through loops and whatnot. And when I refused, they threatened to throw me out. So, I had to come up with something. Telling them that she is not able to do such things. Even if it’s a lie.” you eyes widened at what you just said. You just confessed your greatest secret. 
“What do you mean lie? So, she can jump?” you panicked a little but his calm demeanor helped you a little.
“S-She can. Not as high as those railings go but...She can. Oh, Owen, please don’t tell Claire. They will make her into a complete circus animal, more than she already is.” you didn’t even realize but you were so desperate that you grabbed his forearm, pleading with him.
“I won’t. I promise. I decided on my second day over there that I will tell her that you are taking a good care of her and that a Mosasaurus is not a dolphin you can teach tricks to. But I’m clearly wrong. Could you show me?”
You were soon standing by her tank. Owen looked down at the water.
“I never understood. If she can get the shark from there, why doesn’t she jump out to get the guests?”
“Well, one, they are too small, so she is not interested and two, her species main food source comes from the water or from above such as flying dinosaurs. But as you can see her water is lower than the path, they made this safe so she wouldn’t jump out and eat guests.”
“I see. So how does this work? I don’t guess that you whistle to her.” Owen said as he stood next to you.
“No. I just...” it was easier to show him, so you reached your hand out as far as you could before moving it up.
And just as you did, she jumped out of the water and back in, as elegantly as a dino of her size possibly could. 
“Wow.” Owen watched as the water splashed neither of you cared that you were soaked.
“One night. I was talking to her. And as I moved my hand, she started doing things. She can also spin, but that looked better down under the water.”
“She listens to you.”
“I like to think that if I was to fall into the water one day, she won’t eat me immediately, but I might be too naïve.” Owen looked at you and all he could think is how beautiful you looked.
“This really is something else. You must have an amazing bond.” you smiled at Owen who got your now soaked wet hair out of your face. He slowly leaned down and was about to place his lips on yours when another sudden splash of water interrupted him. He groaned and as he looked down at the water noticed Momo slowly descending into the water. 
You only laughed at the annoyed expression on Owen’s face.
“Maybe take me on a date first, Mr. Grady, I think then she will approve.” you said as he finally looked back at you.
His eyes softened.
Maybe you will thank Claire later for sending Owen over. Who could have thought that two trainers would find each other on an island like that? 
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obeymeluv · 3 years ago
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Demon Baby Headcanons: A Reference for “The Baby Assignment” Project
It made more sense to post my headcanons as a single thing since I’ll be working on “The Baby Assignment” headcanons in between the “Quick! Kiss Me!” miniseries.
These will be hinted at throughout “The Baby Assignment” pieces and I just wanted to put them all together. Keep in mind these are demon baby headcanons. I don’t really have any idea about angel baby headcanons since I’m card locked in chapter 21 :/
I think I got them all. I can’t really think right now.
Warning for one headcanon about human eating (obviously discouraged in the Devildom). I wanted to put in a section about how the Devildom handles bad parents (hint: logic first, then with justice) but I wasn’t vibing with it. Didn’t do it. No worries.
Demon children are usually born small but develop quickly until they stagnate around “teenage” years. Most babies (ironically) weight at least 6 pounds. It’s VERY rare to get a smaller baby and they must be taken care of EXTREMELY well
Their eyes will open within an hour or two of delivery and will be their lifelong color
Because they’re typically raised in the darkness of the Devildom and learn to flourish in the shadows, demon babies really struggle with exposure to light. It hurts their eyes and makes them cry. They should be shielded from light until they’re about a year old or show increased tolerance. Unless they need glasses or have a birth defect, most children appear to tolerate light with no problem between 4-6 years old.
Hybrid children are an exception (and hard to record for the census given how many subspecies of demon there are and all the magical co-mingling), but full-born demon children typically nest and seek out sources of heat to stay warm until they’re able to walk, talk, and do more for themselves. They tend to attach to the warmer parent.
Devildom childcare advocates recommend swaddling the child in parents’ clothes or clothes of relatives because it keeps them warm and orients their brain to who the main family members are. Pyjamas are a suitable exception but parents and close family should make an effort to show the child their scent
Demon children latch, and not just on their milk-producing parent. Within the first month of life the tiniest baby talons come out and allows the child to latch onto the clothes/skin of their caretakers. Full demon children latch and can maintain their grip/fully support themself in moments of stress, aggravation, fear, and in moments of cuddling. It is still recommended to support the child with an arm because they will get tired. Half-demon children should be supplemented with an arm or carrying device until the full extent of their latching ability is determined
Latching is also critical to scent development. It is an instinct of the child to tuck itself into or around those that will protect them. Unless absolutely sure of their safety, they tend to latch onto the stronger parent. When they feel safe, they usually latch to the other parent or try to make a nest with both
For babies who latch or show interest in latching, being semi-naked or completely naked is recommended. Their parents’ scent is stronger and seems to be preferred this way.
Devildom children don’t really crawl. The best way it can be described is “skitter”. You’ll hear their little claws go. Most parent describe their children moving in a lupine manner, on all fours. they like to stay low to the ground and move faster than human children.
There have been reports of children climbing up cabinets, walls, and onto structures like chandeliers and fans. This is part of their hunting instinct and preps their claws for the different things they will encounter/handle as an adult.
Most demon children develop their “Devildom” vocal chords first and will define parents/family by individual growls/shrieks. If other languages are not encouraged in the household, it is not unusual for a child to stay in this stage until two or three. They typically gain muscle control/development to speak real words by they end of their first year
Devildom babies aren’t as tactile as human babies but will definitely show preferences. It’s a lot easier to figure out what a Devildom baby hates. They’ll be quick to show you. 
Devildom babies purr to show contentment and can start purring within 1-2 months of birth. This is one of the first signs of affection.
Other signs of affection include petting the parent or trying to get them in a state of skin-to-skin contact (see latching, above), snuggling, headbutting, showing nesting behaviors, and gently teething on them.
Full-blooded demon children can expect to cut fangs starting at the end of the first year. They will get their first full set of fangs near age two. For children who can only inherit one set of teeth, these fangs will be with them for life. They will naturally harden and lengthen to a full adult set as the body grows. 
Mixed demon children are special cases where fangs are concerned because some species have extra sets of fangs, defense mechanisms where they lose and regrow teeth, and other things of that nature. For most species, teeth are seen in the first year of life.
Fangs typically look pointy and shark-like until they get a little older (somewhere between 3-6, it varies amongst children) and the teeth start to differentiate themselves in a “human-like” smile.
Children with fangs should have a greater variety in their diet for the sake of tooth shaping and development. Fangs need to be kept sharp. They can have slightly tougher food or snacks, and may display the “kill shake” when eating. This is normal. Supplement with teething toys as needed, but keep a close eye on them. It’s best to engage them a little like a tug of war to help develop the biting instinct and lengthening of the teeth.
Tails, like fangs, do not have set rules for growth or appearance. Some children of purer lineages get them as early as 3, and some get them as they move into the teenage years. There is no set age for tail development. If the child itches their back/bottom a lot, tends to streak, and shows general aggravation or discomfort, it’s best to take them to a health specialist to see if they’re developing a tail.
It is a similar scenario for wings. The child may cry or scratch a lot. Be prepared for biting and wrestling your children into shirts. Back rubs, cold creams, and soft textures are recommended. Though VERY RARE, some children can develop their wings within the first year of life. It is more normal to see them sprout between the ages of 3-5
Should the child develop wings young, they will take on a life of their own. They will twitch and flap at random times and this is normal. This is the child’s brain working wing movement into the subconscious, just as it would breathing. Devildom children who have wings go on to move them reflexively and this is how that starts. 
Keep an eye on your child. They will try to hover and may be able to pull their body weight and travel short distances (about 30 seconds) within the first year of having them. Within two or three years they will have better altitude and some sense of guiding with a bit of a struggle. Prepare to be dive-bombed “accidentally” and for things to be broken in bad landings
There have been reports of full-blooded and half-blooded Devildom children gaining night vision. You can determine if your child has this by whether their eyes grow in the dark. Remember the rule of thumb: the older the demon lineage, the brighter their eyes. If obtained, this stays with them for life. The degree of clarity varies amongst children.
Children may develop horns. All horns start out as tiny velvet nubs once they break the surface of the scalp. Prior to breaking the surface, the child may scratch at their scalp excessively, rub their heads on things, or headbutt tougher surfaces to counteract the pressure and itchiness they feel. Scratching their head or brushing their hair may help but nothing can be done until the horns breach. If the horns do not breach, take them to a healthcare facility. They may need help.
Horns should be watched closely as they start to take shape. Some shapes need to be regularly broken or shaved to prevent the child from harming themselves
Children are driven to develop their horns and may try to shave off the velvet lining by rubbing against family members or hard surfaces. This is normal.
It is not uncommon for children to try to “lock horns” with each other when younger. This is another way to shave off the lining. Some studies indicate that this type of play may make them develop faster. If one of the parents have horns, it is encouraged to do this with great care
Although not scientifically proven, the vast majority of Devildom parents swear by rubbing horns to soothe tantrums and put children to sleep. Seems to work. Interestingly, this trait carries on to later stages of life but brings a greater variety of reactions.
It is not uncommon to see growth spurts and great deals of change between the first 7-13 years of life (7-13 by human standards). After this, the demon will stagnate. Their rate of development can vary but demons live for thousands of years so it takes a very long time for signs of aging to occur
Old records suggest that feasting on human souls or the blood of other magical creatures may accelerate this process but these records cannot be confirmed.
Certain activities, such as participating in a pact, are prohibited until the child is 1,800 or older. Their magical capacity is not there and they cannot legally be bound in a pact. If a sorcerer or sorceress is pushing for a pact or you believe a pact has been made in bad faith, a grievance can be filed with the magical review board. If the other party is found guilty, a piece of them may be taken for consumption for the sake of “fairness”. Repeat offenders will be handled by Lord Diavolo (and are usually eaten. This has been “tentatively” amended due to the effort to unite the three realms)
Children who come from very powerful lineages (for example: one of the Seven Lords) may exhibit that key sin trait from a very early age. Some children will be hungrier than others, some will want more attention than others, some will be far stronger and may accidentally break things. Be prepared and parent accordingly.
Those born to succubus/incubi/naga lineages may show signs of charming or hypnotism from the age of two or when they can form sentences. If a member of your family has a natural susceptibility to this, brush up on negating spells and personal reinforcement charms.       
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newcatwords · 3 years ago
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where is hawai'i? can you point to it on a map?
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if someone asks you to point to hawai'i on a map, where would you point?
before colonization, there was (and continues to be) an island called "hawai'i". the entire chain of islands is called "hawaii" and there is a state called "hawaii" made up of a large number of those islands.
now, because there are too many things named "hawaii," the island of hawai'i is often called "the big island", because o'ahu, the island where the city of honolulu is located, is what many people think of when they think of "hawaii". it's a mess.
on top of that, we have the "main hawaiian islands" (aka "southeastern islands" aka "windward islands") vs the "outer islands" (aka "northwestern islands" aka "leeward islands").
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most maps of "hawaii" show only the "main" islands. the map above (created by USGS) shows more of the hawaiian islands, but omits the names of two of the islands in the "main" chain: lana'i & kaho'olawe. these are not insignificant omissions. lana'i is 98% owned by larry ellison, founder & chairman of oracle corporation. kaho'olawe has been relentlessly used & abused by the west. it has been used for ranchland, military training, and most notably, as a munitions testing site, resulting in the continued contamination of the island. after many years of protests & lawsuits by native hawaiians, the island is now only accessible by native hawaiians for cultural, spiritual, & subsistence reasons.
meanwhile, this tourist mug with a creepy colonial-style map of hawaii includes both kaho'olawe & lana'i. good job, tourist mug!
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there are actually over a hundred islands in the hawaiian archipelago. the state of hawaii includes 137 of them (source). midway atoll (made up of 3 islands) is part of the archipelago, but not part of the state. it is one of america's territories: an unorganized unincorporated territory.
additionally, some of the islands "are too small to appear on maps, and others, such as Maro Reef, only appear above the water's surface during times of low tide. Others, such as Shark and Skate islands, have completely eroded away." [source: wikipedia page "list of islands of hawaii"].
in the course of writing this post, i failed to find a map that shows & names all the hawaiian islands and failed to even find a list of all of them (plus if an island only appears sometimes or has disappeared entirely, what do you even do with that?). if you find either or both of those, let me know in comments.
so where and what "hawaii" is remains a mystery.
but this has not prevented commercial & official interests from using maps of "hawaii" in all kinds of places! here on the islands, hawaii map imagery is all around.
maps are very common on tourist items:
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the hawaiian telcom logo uses dots roughly arranged in the pattern of the islands on a map:
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but i guess only five islands are worth including (i understand. branding needs come above all else!).
this souvenir cloth item is interesting because it includes all the main islands (including ni'ihau, lana'i, and kaho'olawe - which are often excluded), but smooshes them into the available space without much consideration for where they are in relation to each other:
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the postcard above has the main islands in their rough places, but squishes them all together so that they fit in the space. also the islands are made more similar in size to each other so that you can better see the little illustrations.
here's a more "official" map to show where the islands "should be" in relation to each other, and their sizes relative to each other (although both of those can change depending on what projection the map uses):
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in my mind, though, the ultimate hawaii map fantasy lives on the ubiquitous reusable walmart cloth bag (available for 50 cents at checkout to all who have forgotten to bring the right number of bags. there's a plastic shopping bag ban in hawaii.):
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in the walmart commercial universe (wcu), the only islands that exist are islands that have a walmart. the general outlines of the islands & their general orientation is preserved (along with a rough topology too!), attempting to convey a sense of adhering to a recognizable reality, but islands without a walmart have been not only omitted, but the space where they would be has been eliminated as well - as if they were never there to begin with. in the walmart version of reality, what makes something "hawaii" is whether or not it has a walmart on it.
i've had a lot of time to think about this remarkable image because i have a whole bunch of these bags. this is the bag of the people - everyone uses it for everything. the one in the above photo is in a typical state - pretty rough - because it probably came from the side of the road. you can almost always find one on the side of the road. so wherever you are, you are probably within sight of the walmart version of the islands.
so why does it matter whether or not you can point to "hawaii" on a map? well, maps are political documents, meaning that they reflect the vision of whoever has the power to put the map in front of your eyes. so if you're the one with the power to make some of the most commonly-seen maps of hawaii and you decide to remove a few islands, well that can really shape what people think "hawaii" is! we're a sea of islands - many people here have only ever been to one or two of the islands. if it wasn't on the map, you might not know that it existed at all.
hawaii is incredibly important to the united states, not just for tourism, but in terms of global strategy. it's the largest outpost of american power in the middle of the pacific. it puts america & its troops half an ocean closer to some of america's biggest competitors, most notably, china. it's a springboard to all the other island territories of the pacific (which you maybe haven't heard of because they almost never appear on maps):
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once you see a map of all of america's territories in the pacific, along with the exclusive economic zones (eez) that extend out for 200 miles around each island, you start to get a better feel for the extent of america's power in the pacific.
when a place is left off the map, it can be easy to make it (including its people!) invisible. so if you're america, with bases across the islands of the pacific, with a nightmarish history of atomic weapons testing in the pacific (rendering islands uninhabitable and leaving both land and waters too contaminated for people to use), perhaps you might not want some of these places to appear on the map.
in Foreign Policy in Focus, Khury Petersen-Smith writes:
"Many of us living in North America who are concerned about climate change, for example, have a sense that Pacific Islands are facing particularly severe impacts from rising sea levels. But that knowledge tends to be vague and limited, as actual residents of these islands are rarely invited to the table to speak for themselves.
This is not accidental. Commenting during the Nixon administration on U.S. nuclear testing in the Marshall Islands, which share the same region of the Pacific as Guam, Henry Kissinger said “there are only 90,000 people out there. Who gives a damn?”
The U.S. has long had an interest in Marshallese and other Pacific Islanders remaining “out there” in the American mind. This marginalization helps allow the U.S. to carry out military operations in the region, along with policies that further climate change and other harms, while keeping most Americans unaware of these practices’ impacts in the Pacific." [FPIF]
often hawai'i (and alaska - which is in many ways similar to hawai'i in its relation to the contiguous US) doesn't even appear on national maps of the USA.
here's a screenshot from the new york times homepage on march 21, 2020, just as the coronavirus pandemic was beginning to spread:
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there is no alaska and no hawai'i on those maps. so if you were looking for information on the most important issue that was happening at the time, and you live in or are concerned about hawai'i and/or alaska, there would just be nothing. and what does it say about the people who run the top newspaper in america that they decided it was fine to omit these two states? are they not states? do they not matter? do the readers in those states not matter? and this is not an unusual thing at all. it happens all the time.
i'd like to finish by sharing with you a poem by CHamoru poet Craig Santos Perez. CHamoru are the indigenous people of the mariana islands (which include guam, saipan, tinian, rota, and others).
in this poem, Craig Santos Perez writes about not appearing on the map...
“Off-Island CHamorus”
My family migrated to California when I was 15 years old. During the first day at my new high school, the homeroom teacher asked: “Where are you from?” “The Mariana Islands,” I answered. He replied: “I’ve never heard of that place. Prove it exists.” And when I stepped in front of the world map on the wall, it transformed into a mirror: the Pacific Ocean, like my body, was split in two and flayed to the margins. I found Australia, then the Philippines, then Japan. I pointed to an empty space between them and said: “I’m from this invisible archipelago.” Everyone laughed. And even though I descend from oceanic navigators, I felt so lost, shipwrecked
on the coast of a strange continent. “Are you a citizen?” he probed. “Yes. My island, Guam, is a U.S. territory.” We attend American schools, eat American food, listen to American music, watch American movies and television, play American sports, learn American history, dream American dreams, and die in American wars. “You speak English well,” he proclaimed, “with almost no accent.” And isn’t that what it means to be a diasporic CHamoru: to feel foreign in a domestic sense.
Over the last 50 years, CHamorus have migrated to escape the violent memories of war; to seek jobs, schools hospitals, adventure, and love; but most of all, we’ve migrated for military service, deployed and stationed to bases around the world. According to the 2010 census, 44,000 CHamorus live in California, 15,000 in Washington, 10,000 in Texas, 7,000 in Hawaii, and 70,000 more in every other state and even in Puerto Rico. We are the most “geographically dispersed” Pacific Islander population within the United States, and off-island CHamorus now outnumber our on-island kin, with generations having been born away from our ancestral homelands, including my daughters.
Some of us will be able to return home for holidays, weddings, and funerals; others won’t be able to afford the expensive plane ticket to the Western Pacific. Years and even decades might pass between trips, and each visit will feel too short. We’ll lose contact with family and friends, and the island will continue to change until it becomes unfamiliar to us. And isn’t that, too, what it means to be a diasporic CHamoru: to feel foreign in your own homeland.
Even after 25 years, there are still times I feel adrift, without itinerary or destination. When I wonder: What if we stayed? What if we return? When the undertow of these questions begins pulling you out to sea, remember: migration flows through our blood like the aerial roots of the banyan tree. Remember: our ancestors taught us how to carry our culture in the canoes of our bodies. Remember: our people, scattered like stars, form new constellations when we gather. Remember: home is not simply a house, village, or island; home is an archipelago of belonging.
–Craig Santos Perez
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thank you for reading this post! please let me know if you see any errors.
if you'd like to learn more about some important issues in the pacific, here are just a few:
july 2, 2020: "US says leaking nuclear waste dome is safe; Marshall Islands leaders don't believe it" - Los Angeles Times
may 30, 2021: "Pacific Plunder: this is who profits from the mass extraction of the region's natural resources." - The Guardian
april 5, 2021: "75 years after nuclear testing in the Pacific began, the fallout continues to wreak havoc" - The Conversation
june 4, 2021: "Guam won’t give up more land to the U.S. military without a fight" - The World (radio program)
aug. 24, 2021: "The US is building a military base in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Micronesian residents have questions." - The World (radio program)
and if you'd like to learn more about how maps are political, here are a couple articles:
june 5, 2014: "The politics of making maps" by Amanda Ruggeri, for BBC
july 11, 2018: "Politics and Cartography: The Power of Deception through Distortion" by John Erskine, for the Carnegie Ethics Online Monthly Column
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koko-doodle · 3 years ago
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Voltron AU Idea
During my browsing of the interwebs I have found so many great AUs and I was struck with one last night when I’m supposed to be sleeping. My brain works overtime when it needs to be sleeping!!!
Aaanyways, the idea is basically the team is infiltrating and shutting down a transport base. The main leader sets the base’s core (a nuclear reactor type of power source) into a meltdown to prevent Voltron from accessing any information or supplies. The team gets locked out of the system, not even Pidge can hack it so they have not choice but to bolt it out as fast as possible. Just as they were getting out the door the reactor explodes causing nuclear/gamma rays rushing throughout the facility. That mixed with the stored quintescence at the facility hits the team and the next day they have changed with abilities correlating with their lions and personalities.
Shiro
His ability is flight/teleportation just like his lion. His main change would be added wings and some bird like markings to his skin maybe. He would also get extra strength as well. He can fly super fast and when in flight, he can do a couple of short “jumps” but only a few feet, he can’t teleport super far like Cosmo can. Not a ton of drastic changes on Shiro.
Kieth
His ability is fire. He can withstand extreme heat and his body emits extremely high temperatures when he is panicked or stressed. He kind of has a rage/beast mode thanks to his Galra heritage so don’t piss him off. His change is red skin and horns with claws, maybe a tail and wings? Not sure yet. His beast form is more dragon like and his chest glows red with how hot his body temperature is. This boi can swim through lava because of his resistance to heat. He has full control over his beast form, it’s just hard at first to transition between his two forms.
Pidge
Her ability is nature related. Her whole body would go through a drastic change and she would become a plant based creature. She still looks relatively the same just with green skin and leaves or vines for hair. She would drink a lot more water than usual but doesn’t need to eat food since her body uses photosynthesis to create energy. She has a connection to any plant on any planet and can manipulate it to her advantage. Plant powers FTW.
Lance
Lance’s ability is water! He looks fairly normal most of the time besides his ears being pointed and his eyes are bright blue. When wet he gets scales and becomes basically a merman or sea monster. I haven’t decided how his fish form is going to look quite yet, if I want him to be a shark/killer whale look or more sea monster look like the new Pixar movie Luca. He has full blown water bender abilities though, he can’t make water out of nowhere he can just control the water around him. Since Pidge usually has a water bottle around her now though, if Kieth pisses him off enough he’ll splash him in the face. With Kieth’s ability it steams right off but it still makes him mad.
Hunk
His ability is strength. He gets a bit taller and bulkier, his is almost like a half werebeast of some sort. Little bit furry, maybe a small tail, but large arms retractable claws. He is much stronger than Shiro, even with Shiro’s new abilities. Think of Hunk as the fluffy tank of the team. Very powerful but just a big teddy bear. He doesn’t like it at first but once he realizes he can cut food and peel things with his claws, he starts to get really excited.
Xena (my OC)
Because why not. To me the Galra look bat based in a way so I decided she would look like a gargoyle. Larger ears, horns, anthro legs, wings and a longer tail. Her main issue at first would be noise. She has really enhanced hearing now including echolocation in a way, she covered her ears a lot at first before she learned how to focus her hearing. Her main issue, is blood though. She is like a vampire in the case that she needs it to survive. She can last maybe a week without feeding but she doesn’t go into a bloodthirsty rage or anything without it, she just gets very weak. Passes out if she lets it go long enough.
And that was my thought.
I’ll go back to my hidey hole now.
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veronicamarsconfessions · 4 years ago
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Joel Silver, The Ruthless Producer (But He Wouldn’t Allow Logan To Be Killed)
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This blog talks a lot about Joel Silver and his influence on pop culture (especially his role in Veronica Mars). He is well known as one of the “Bosses From Hell” in Hollywood and yet he is the lesser evil from other producers like Harvey Weinstein and Scott Rudin. Which is not a compliment whatsoever. But he is known as very protective with his assets such as his TV shows.
It is surprising that we hardly heard about sexual misconduct allegations against women/men (yet) especially during this decade alone. According to many, he is not interested that much in sexual hedonism as he is more concerned with being on top of the food chain. He is a married flamboyant producer who is deeply serious about his investments. He is always at the movie/tv set, watching everything like a hawk, making sure that everything is working accordingly. He dislikes unprofessional behavior from actors or showrunners, and most of the time, he just loathes writers. “Writers sometimes don’t know what works and what’s not. I don’t care if you are a brilliant writer, but I know better than anyone else in this business.”
That is the young Joel Silver, playing a frustrated director named Raoul in the movie 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit'. According to interviews, Raoul was based on himself but more tamer.
Joel Silver was a type of producer who likes to change a lot of the source materials, to the chagrin of the creators. Many just saw him as this tough guy producer who is very meticulous and wants the job done properly. Sources said that he liked to yell a lot, but hardly physical towards his employees (unlike Scott Rudin).
This is why it was so shocking that he and Rob Thomas had a fistfight argument at the Veronica Mars set. Rob must’ve pissed him off so bad that he resolved to a fistfight. According to a TVGuide interview, Rob said that Joel wanted to have Tara Reid as Trina Echolls and Paris Hilton to be put in the show as a guest star while promoting the House of Wax movie. Rob hated the idea and Joel didn’t take it lightly. Their brawl was reported to many blogs and forums back then.
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Joel was frustrated and furious that Rob was adamant about his vision, citing that he knows more about what works and what’s not in the industry, and that includes casting and storylines. Rob insisted that Veronica should be with the love of her life, which was Duncan Kane. Both Joel and Rob head-butted about this because Joel knew that Logan was more a compatible and popular character than Duncan. Not liking the idea of being blackballed all the time, Rob wrote Logan as insufferable in season 2, hoping that fans would turn against the character.
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The plan backfired as the fans at the time rejected Duncan instead. Diane Ruggiero even admitted that they were reading the feedbacks especially from Television Without Pity and she said that they didn’t have a choice but to get rid of Duncan. At the time, they also didn’t know whether the show was going to be renewed or not in season 3, especially during the merger between UPN and WB to form The CW. The fans’ voice was clear: they wanted LoVe (Logan & Veronica) to be together. This didn’t bode well with Rob, but the fans (and Joel) have spoken. He finally got rid of Duncan by sending him off to Australia with his baby. And that was it, the end. Logan and Veronica got back together.
But season three came, and another obstacle came in a form of Dawn Ostroff (the president of CW) who wanted some changes in the show for the network to be more teen-friendly. Gone the whole Noir and mystery style, they focused more on the white teen drama and a love triangle. At this moment, Joel decided to stay behind the scene. He was no longer hovering, he had other projects, other money to pursue. He still co-owned Veronica Mars. But he was no longer involved much.
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When Veronica Mars was canceled, Joel immediately snatched Jason Dohring - he approached Jason "out of the blue” and said, “There's a role, and I'm making it younger". Joel offered the main role of the CBS vampire procedural series Twilight to Jason before it was changed into Moonlight. Jason read two pages of the script featuring Josef Kostan and was interested in the character's "dark" and "sharp" personality. Jason had to go through the normal audition process and was not sure he would have gotten the role without Joel Silver, who had "pushed it through to the end". Joel noticed very early that Jason had a main protagonist charisma so he fought for him to be cast as Josef Kostan. Jason’s performance was praised by many critics and fans alike as this sarcastic manipulative vampire. Unfortunately, the writing of the show was atrocious and the rating was abysmal because of the Writers Guild strike and they had to hire ghostwriters to keep going. After one season, Moonlight was canceled and it was another money down the drain for Joel.
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When the idea of a movie was pitched, Joel said the movie would NEVER HAPPEN. “There are no fans for this market. Sales of DVDs and merchandise are nonexistent.” Joel was thinking as a producer; no sales for the merchandise = no fans, which is wrong, obviously. But that was the way many producers thinking at the time, and still are. After his company severing ties with the Warner Brothers, Joel was no longer interested in any mention of the Veronica Mars movie. Knowing that Joel would not approve of the Kickstarter, Rob and KBell decided to go straight to Warner Bros head honcho Kevin Tsujihara and asked for a chance to get a Veronica Mars movie funded by the fans. The movie then was made, and Joel was proven wrong for this particular moment.
Sharks however started to circling Veronica Mars movie - a lot of producers started to take an interest in the Kickstarter when they found out that it became successful and a phenomenon — notorious producer Harvey Weinstein wanted to grab the rights of Veronica Mars and he boasted that he could make it more successful under his Miramax banner. But his rival, Joel Silver, wouldn’t have any of it. Joel might not be responsible with the Kickstarter, but he sure the hell would burn a swimming pool first before Miramax steals VMars.
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Rob and Joel have a “good work” relationship - they definitely aren't friends in real life, but most of the time they avoid each other except in public events and red carpets. Their relationship is mostly being tolerant of each other. Joel didn't even bother to come to the Veronica Mars movie red carpet even though he was the executive producer of the movie and this franchise was a part of his life. Many thoughts for him not attending the red carpet were to avoid any embarrassment because he said that there were no fans of Veronica Mars. If it was allowed, Rob would say ‘fuck you’ to Joel as he strutted on the red carpet during the premiere of the Veronica Mars movie at the Chinese Theater.
However, when HULU took an interest in a VMars miniseries, Rob asked Joel for a favor, which is to get Kristen Bell to work around NBC The Good Place contract. As HULU is a part of Viacom and also an umbrella company for CBS and CW where VMars reside, technically she couldn't and was not allowed to be working with a rival company. So Joel helped Rob by calling the NBC president Noah Oppenheim to lend Kristen Bell to HULU temporarily. No words or interview about how Joel thinks about season 4 and how they killed off Logan Echolls; a character he protected during his reign back then. It is obvious if he was in charge of Veronica Mars season 4, he would scold Rob Thomas for killing the Golden Goose or maybe already stopping him before it happened. He might have a soft spot for Jason Dohring himself, calling him a “talented actor but too quiet for this industry”.
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Joel Silver seems to have moved on from Veronica Mars and its tumultuous relationship within. He has a bigger problem than handling a franchise that has crashed and burned because it flew too close to the sun; namely being sued for the death of an assistant and the fact that he was kicked out from his own company (Silver Pictures) by the company CFO Daryl Katz, and also he is a bit struggling with financial means. But no matter what, Joel Silver was a part of Veronica Mars with its complicated history. And he definitely has no problem keeping going - after all, he is one of the notorious bosses in Hollywood.
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theflyingpimphat · 3 years ago
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From what I know of Sharks, Crocodiles and Theropod Dinosaurs, Godzilla must lose, and also be constantly replacing his teeth a lot. Do you concur? Also, would Godzilla's teeth be serrated or not?
1. Yes
2. His teeth were always conical. It's better to puncture hard surfaces and go better with strong jaws, while serrated teeth are better for slicing soft surfaces and are usually found on weaker jaws.
[another ask] “What do you think the Titans sexual dimorphism would be like? What do you think a female Godzilla and Rodan and a male Mothra would be like?”
That one is an interesting question. Rodan would have bigger females if going by birds of prey, but bigger males if going by pterosaurs. On the third hand, the original Rodan movie had the two individuals show no sexual dimorphism (if I remember correctly and those were supposed to be a mated pair rather than brothers). Maybe there could be a difference in crests, too.
For Mothra, I would assume the male to be more slender, maybe even a bit smaller. It is also possible for the male to be coloured differently.
As for Godzilla, I have made concepts going into both directions: if the titular character is male, the females would be smaller and have more hydrodynamic plates, and the mating behaviour would resemble crocodiles. If the titular character is female, the males would be smaller, less bulky and their plates would be larger, with lead oxides accumulating in their centres, so that they develop white edges. In this case, females are territorial and defend areas with radiation sources, while males are wanderers.
Generally, it would depend mostly on the mating system, with other factors playing a minor role.
[another ask] “How do you feel about my theory that Godzilla stores the majority of the radiation in his tail, which explains why his Atomic-Breath charge starts at the tip of it?”
Fair. I assume the main storages are the bones, since that’s where radioactive isotopes tend to accumulate in vertebrates, and the liver, since that’s where I put the radiation processing into.
[another ask] “"By putting them on the surface of Solid Earth." Guess I should've been more specific. I meant, what kind of habitats and locations would they be found in and would it be possible for then to still technically be subterranean or, at the very least, have subterranean adaptations?”
Well, neither warbats nor hellhawks have any subterranean adaptations. The former would be better placed in mountainous terrain, or into forests with very large trees, the latter could have a lifestyle similar to bats, resting in caves while searching for food outside. The ‘arthropods’ and foetodon appear to inhabit rocky areas.
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and-justice-for-zoisite · 5 years ago
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𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕜 𝕨𝕖𝕖𝕜 (𝒟𝒶𝓋𝒾𝒹 𝟪 𝓍 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇)
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Summary: It’s that god awful time of the month for you, and it seems to hit harder and worse considering that Meredith Vickers is unable to empathize with you and makes you do some harsh chores that make your pain worse. But at the end of the day, there’s a certain android boy waiting for you. And even though he’s never dealt with such a situation, he’s certainly willing to try.
Original Request:  So, I was thinking about a david 8 x reader, where she's in pain because of her period, and she needs some comforting, so David decides to be brave and cuddle her. Then our android sweetheart tries to distract her by kissing her cheeks, and ends up kissing her lips for the first time...lots of fluff follows. Thank you @the--queen-of-hell​ for making this request, I very much enjoyed writing it!
Warnings: Mentions of periods, otherwise just fluff
Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~
It had been a rather long day for you. A long, and painful day. That was why it felt more amazing than usual when you were able to flop onto your somehow comfier bed in a fresh set of pyjamas after having showered off the stress of the day. Yet, some pain still lingered. Like the pain in your abdomen due to cramps that felt like someone was repeatedly punching you in the gut, and the migraine that made your head throb. 
Why did you have severe cramps and a migraine? Well...that was because it was that time of the month where the sharks in your uterus tore up whatever they could find, and you suffered because of it. And who made it worse? Bloody Meredith Vickers.  Since you’re not only a biologist, but also an advanced mechanic, Vickers had you fix something on the ship, even though technically it wasn’t your job. How did that go? Well...
~
“(L/n), I need you to go check out the main power source of the ship, there’s been some system failures and we believe that a malfunction somewhere in the main system is the cause,” Vickers explained as she walked into your room, seeing that you hadn’t gotten up from your bed just yet. You looked up groggily, having been awake but too sore to get up and do anything. “With all do respect, Miss Vickers, technically that isn’t my job,” You started, placing your hands on your abdomen, “I’m a biologist on this expedition. And besides, I’m on my period. Go ask Janek or something...”  When you rolled over to face away from her, Vickers felt her brow twitch as she began losing her cool. “Janek can’t fix it, he already tried. And if anyone else tried, not only are they likely to electrocute themselves, but they’re also at risk of wrecking the entire ship and killing us all. As for your period situation,” She kicked a piece of clothing on the floor, “deal with it.” You could’ve easily ripped her head off right then and there, considering that your period filled you with rage and that rage filled you with the motive to kill if provoked.  When you did nothing for a moment, Vickers thought you’d been ignoring her and got a little more mad. “That’s a direct order and if you fail to follow it there will be consequences-” “Alright, alright!! Quit pestering me I’ll bloody do it you-” You cut yourself off before you could call her anything that’d get you in a bad place.  Even though Vickers was mad that you were clearly about to cuss her out, she let it slide, considering your hormones were out of whack, and simply walked off. 
And that was how your super cruddy day started off.
~
Some time in the middle of it all, while you were half way through fixing up the main power source, David, the android on board, came to visit you with food and drink since he knew you’d been working hard. David wouldn’t have done that for any of the other crew members, but that was because you were the only one who treated him as a valued equal - a lot of the time you even treated him above yourself, considering the silly little crush you had on him. But what you weren’t aware of was the fact that he very much shared those feelings, and would do perhaps anything for you.
So, when you saw him arrive in the main power source room, looking perfect as usual, you almost dropped your wrench on your face considering you were working on your back from a creeper, like one would on a car. You wished you weren’t so sweaty in that moment, but that never seemed to matter to the lovely android. 
“I hope I’m not interrupting, Miss (Y/n). I thought you could use the replenishment, you’ve been working rather hard,”  He said in his usually smooth british accent, yourself smiling sweetly as you rolled out from underneath the machinery and sat up to take a breath. He always called you Miss, rather than Dr, and you assumed it was a form of endearment.  The pain in your lower stomach was severe in that moment, but you managed to hide it. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a sweetheart, David?” You asked in huffs, the man raising his brow slightly as he picked up the glass of ice water he had prepared for you. “You’d be the first one to. In fact I’ve never been called an endearing name in my entire life,” He said as he handed the glass to you, yourself taking it gratefully. “Cheers love,” You thanked before taking a decent few gulps of it, David seemingly zoning out while he watched you. That was when he remembered that he’d brought food for you too, and forced himself to snap out of it as he picked up the tray. “I made sandwiches for you as well. They’re (your fave sandwich filling), I hope they are to your liking,” He said as he held the tray out for you. You could’ve burst into tears right then and there from how loved you felt by the one person on this ship that wasn’t supposed to love at all. But you managed to hold it down as you smiled up at him and took one of the slices.  “God, what did I do to deserve you?” You asked, the man tilting his head slightly at the statement as you began devouring the tasty food. “What do you mean by that?” He asked.  “I mean...you’re always doing such lovely things for me, and it’s not like anyone else was gonna bring me stuff like this. I...I was just wondering, why?”  David stared at you for a moment, simply in his thoughts. He knew exactly why he took care of you the way he did, but he never thought you’d be curious to hear why. “Well...it’s quite simple, really. You’re so kind to me, and for some strange reason I don’t receive that same kindness from anyone else on the ship. I’m only returning the favor,” He explained, a small smile gracing his perfect lips.  “That’s pretty silly, don’t you think? They believe that they have the right to treat you like a servant, when really there’s so much more to you than that,” You sighed as you rolled backward slightly on your creeper, “In fact, you’re probably the most human one on this entire ship, which is ironic considering physically you aren’t.” You smiled sweetly in that moment, “I think it’s lovely how you’re so polite to everyone even though majority of them don’t return the gesture.”
The two of you simply stared at each other with sweet smiles, the silence comfortable as you fell into your own thoughts. David really appreciated you, and would honestly do anything for you. It especially made him feel all giddy inside knowing that you thought so highly of him, even though he was an android. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t have a crush on you, and he was always looking for an opportunity to impress you or make you happy.
In the content silence, you felt another sharp pain in your abdomen, and this one you couldn’t hide as you grabbed your stomach and leaned forward with a groan. This concerned David very much, his features changing to worried as he crouched down in front of you and placed a hand on your shoulder.
“Are you alright, Miss (Y/n)?” He asked softly, yourself looking back up to him as you nodded with a sort of cringe upon your face. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine, just period cramps. Do you think you could get me an aspirin, please?”  You almost expected him to cringe in disgust, since the men that’d been in your life prior to now squealed like a bunch of girls when you tried talking to them about your period. But David seemed to immediately understand, in fact he seemed more worried about you. “Are you sure you can work like this? Surely you’re in a bit of pain,” He asked as he placed his other hand on your shoulder. “I’ll be fine. And besides, it’s not like I have much of a choice. Vickers was on my ass all morning about it. It’s best I just get it over and done with so I can rest properly,” You sighed. As much as David wanted to protest, wrap you up in a blanket and cuddle you, he knew you were a strong woman, and with some aspirin, you’d be able to work just as well as you usually did. So he sighed softly, and rubbed your shoulders comfortingly.
“Just let me know if you need anything else throughout the day,” He got up from crouching and stood near the door, “I’ll be right back with your aspirin, Miss.” 
~
So that was your horrible day. And even though you had a relatively comfortable bed underneath you, the cramps remained painful, which was why you had started crying. Now, it wasn’t messy crying, it was just soft sobbing, but it was enough to attract the attention of a certain blonde android boy. I mean, he was already on his way to your room to check on you and make sure you were doing okay,but  hearing you cry softly only gave him more of a motive.
He arrived at your door and slowly opened it. But you were too busy sobbing to realize that anyone was there. So, David set a soft three knocks upon your door, and your head snapped around to see who had interrupted you.
“Are you alright, Miss (Y/n)?” He asked in a gentle voice. You made sure to quickly wipe your tears away as you sat up, nodding as more tears managed to pool up in your eyes. “I-I’m fine David, really. I’m just in a lot of pain,” You tried reassuring, the android’s face shifting into more concern as he slowly approached the bed. He’d never had to deal with a situation like this, but he knew a few tricks. “Here, lye on your side Miss, with your back facing me,” He instructed as he sat on the bed beside you, yourself sniffling as you did as you were told and laid facing away from him. You weren’t sure of what he was doing, and you found yourself questioning it more as you felt the bed sink behind you and you fell against a warm body. David’s body. Your face flushed red as he hooked his legs gently underneath yours and wrapped his arms around your waist, his hands placed on your lower tummy as he seemingly spooned you. Your nerves were going haywire at that point, the butterflies were bouncing around your stomach at a thousand miles an hour and your heartbeat increased a fair bit. Then, he began working a gentle massage into your abdomen, to which you let out a small sigh. “...D-David...” “A gentle massage will help encourage blood flow and relieve the cramps temporarily,” He explained just above a whisper, “are there any other symptoms? Such as a migraine or lower back pains?”  You shook your head, and David smiled sweetly and slid his hand under the fabric of your shirt (in a fluffy way, this is not a smut!) and continued massaging below your bellybutton. And as your cramps began subsiding, you closed your eyes and intertwined your legs with David’s, pressing your head back into the crook of his neck as you metaphorically melted against his touch. 
While you were thoroughly enjoying the attention you received, David didn’t think it was enough to make you feel better. You were still sniffling, and sometimes a random tear would fall down your cheek. He wanted to distract you from the pain, but he was at a loss at how.  That was when he took one hand from your tummy and began subconsciously brushing the hair from your face, simply admiring your beautiful skin and the way it became glossy and red with your tears. Then, he leaned in a little, and took in the scent of your hair. It smelled so lovely, like floral and sweet fruits, and it almost seemed to hypnotize him. He wanted to kiss you, just politely on the cheek. Maybe it’d distract you, make you feel better or at least happier. 
So, shyly, David began leaning down, his lips puckered slightly as he prepared to kiss your cheek gently. But perhaps, that’d been wrong timing. Because what he hadn’t met was your cheek, but seemingly your lips instead. This turn of events happened because you had turned your head toward him, hoping to ask him a question.  And even though this wasn’t what he had expected to do, he still continued with his actions. The kiss he pressed to your lips was a very sweet and loving one, and left you dazed momentarily. It only lasted a few moments, before he pulled away, your faces still being only a few centimeters from touching as he stared down into those beautiful eyes of yours.
“...my apologies, Miss. I...I didn’t mean to-” He was cut off when you shuffled onto your back and placed a hand on either side of his face, pulling him down and kissing him properly this time.  David felt his stomach twist in surprise when you did this, and he was wide eyes for a moment. But once the shock wore off, he melted into the kiss, placing his hand on the bed beside you to balance himself.  Both of you had been wanting to do this for a rather long time, and now that you were lying in bed, kissing each other like nothing else mattered, you could’ve sworn you were dreaming. But it seems that dreams can come true.
When the two of you pulled away, you took a moment to simply admire the look on each other’s faces. Your eyes looked as foggy as your mind was in that moment, your fingers of your left hand moving along the skin of his face to brush the hair that hung over David’s eyes out of his face. And as for David, he was simply taking a moment to process what had just happened, considering that this wasn’t exactly the turn of events he was expecting. But even so, he managed a sweet smile and a quiet sigh.
“...you’re a rather good kisser, Miss (Y/n),” He whispered, yourself chuckling breathily as your left hand traced back to it’s original position. “...just (Y/n) is fine, David,” you sighed, the blonde lowering himself back down properly onto the bed, still on his side.
Once he had, you wrapped your arms around his slender figure and rested your head in the crook of his neck, David returning the action and snaking his arms back around you as your legs intertwined with each other’s.
And even though occasionally a cramp would still jab at you from the inside, the fact that you were cuddled up to your favorite android boy made it tolerable. 
And you knew very well, that you’d never suffer while you were on your period ever again.
~
A/N: I’m sorry if this sucks, I really tried. 
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mst3kproject · 5 years ago
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Kingdom of the Spiders
Yep, this is the one with William Shatner in it.  It was directed by John ‘you really undermine your authority when you put Bud in the middle of your name’ Cardos, who did the same job for The Day Time Ended and Outlaw.  It’s also available on Rifftrax, so I think we’re fully qualified for EtNW status… but if you need one more returning star, we have of course the much-maligned Mexican Red-Knee Tarantula.
The Shatmeister is Dr. Robert Hansen, the vet in these here parts. He’s not sure what caused Mr. Colby’s prize calf to suddenly fall sick and die, so he summons help that arrives in the form of Dr. Diane Ashley, an expert on venomous animals.  She quickly determines that the area is being invaded by huge, pissed-off tarantulas!  The over-use of pesticides has forced the spiders to evolve, and they’ve become social hunters with a more concentrated and deadly venom.  In large numbers they’re capable of taking down cattle, dogs… and maybe even humans.  The soundtrack consists of terrible country songs, all of them by the same guy you’ve never heard of.
As 70’s Nature’s Revenge movies go, Kingdom of the Spiders is… adequate.  It’s not remarkably bad, but there’s nothing particularly creative or interesting in it, either.  The direction is nondescript – none of the shots are visually striking, but anything artsy would be out-of-place in a film that’s intended to look as down-to-earth as the farmers and cowboys that populate it.  There’s a county fair that stands in for the Fourth of July Weekend from Jaws, and a ‘spider hill’ that serves as the Smaller Shark, but both of them are mentioned and then just kind of go away, rather than fulfilling any role in the plot.  They’re there for the same reason as the love triangle, because movies are supposed to have those.
The love triangle is what’ll make you hate Shatner’s character. Dr. Hansen seems dedicated to his work and he’s kind to his neighbours, but he’s an absolute ass to women. He seems to have a thing going on with his dead brother’s widow, Terri, which is very Claudius of him, but he rejects her almost violently when she accidentally calls him by her husband’s name. In one scene he teases that he might marry her himself, and then a day later he’s bringing Diane by to introduce her, which results in Terri fleeing to the kitchen to cry.  The impression we get is that he can read her signals, he just doesn’t give a shit.
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He’s a jerk to Diane, too.  He asks her on a date moments after saying he has to go see ‘his girl’ that afternoon.  It turns out he’s referring to his four-year-old niece, but he didn’t clarify that until after he asked Diane out, which can only mean he deliberately led her to think he wants to cheat on somebody with her.  Later when he wants her attention, he runs her off the road and basically kidnaps her for dinner with him, and then he drives her car after she’s angrily told him not to.  He teases her about her feminism and makes her open beers for him… and of course this is supposed to be Twu Wuv.
Like a lot of useless love triangles in a lot of useless movies, this one is resolved when the third party dies.  Shatner therefore doesn’t have to choose – if Terri had lived and he’d chosen Diane instead, she might have decided to reduce Hansen’s time with her daughter Linda, whom he clearly adores.  With Terri dead, he gets Diane and the child all to himself.  Terri was nothing but an inconvenience, and is summarily disposed of.
I did like Diane, though.  She comes across as kind of a snotty bitch when we first meet her, but she warms up fast.  My favourite part of the movie is when she sees a gigantic tarantula crawling out of a drawer at her hotel room, and she immediately picks it up, pets it, and tells it it’s pretty!  How could I not like this lady?  Apparently actress Tiffany Bolling got the role mostly because she was willing to do that while their first choice, Barbara Hale (of The Giant Spider Invasion) was not. She deserved way better than to be William Shatner’s love interest.
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The unfortunate thing about this sequence is it, and a couple more in which Diane happily handles the spiders without harm, rather undercuts the idea that they’re supposed to be aggressively seeking out human prey.  There are other scenes in which we watch humans run around madly, screaming and flailing, while the spiders merely sit there not doing very much.  Worst of all are two separate sequences in which a fatal accident seems to result not from spiders attacking people, but from people freaking out because a spider was in a vehicle!  It makes the whole movie feel like an over-reaction.
I do realize this may be my personal reaction, rather than the average one… somebody who’s actually scared of spiders might find this completely horrifying.  But… you know spiders move at like one mile an hour, right?  The Creeping Terror could catch them.  Just go get in your car, and drive away.  It would have worked for the sheriff if the crowd hadn’t slowed him down!
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Moving along – the characters of the Colbys, a farming couple who’ve poured everything they have into their herd of cattle only to see their livelihood destroyed, are people we can pity but we know better than to get attached to them.  The opening scene is Mr. Colby bragging about how his calf is a shoe-in for first prize, and you know right away that he’s destined to lose everything.  The series of tragedies that ensue for the couple are all similarly telegraphed.
At the end we see a terrible matte painting depicting the entire town draped in spiderwebs.  This looks so bad it’s actually difficult to figure out what we’re seeing, and I’m not at all sure what it’s meant to tell us.  Diane had talked about the spiders ‘migrating’, implying that they’re just passing through.  So are we meant to think that now they’ve killed everyone else, the spiders have moved on and our so-called heroes can escape?  Because there are no actual spiders in the image, just their webs.  On the other hand, Diane also talked about spiders storing their food by wrapping it in webs.  So are they gonna come back to eat everybody later?  But it’s just a spiderweb… the humans can rip it apart and go.  Did the characters win, or lose?  Are they going to live or die?  The movie just runs out of ideas and ends.
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This is a bit of a shame, because the core idea here is kind of neat.  The spiders have become monsters not because chemicals or radiation has mutated them, but because evolution did.  Diane explains that over-use of pesticides has done two things: one is to create DDT-resistant spiders in the same way as misuse of antibiotics creates drug-resistant bacteria.  The ones that can tough it out survive and produce similarly tough offspring.  Second, the pesticides have killed off the spiders’ usual prey, forcing them to turn to alternative sources of food.  Spiders with more potent venom are better able to kill large prey – as are those that work together.
I actually like this better than the idea of monsters made by pollution.  The toxic monster genre can’t really be about nature striking back because the creatures in it are truly un-natural.  When it is evolution that makes monsters, that is nature demonstrating that it is more powerful than we are.  It’s also more realistic, I guess, though only in a movie-science-y kind of way.  It’s not very plausible that the spiders could evolve so fast – the major changes in their behaviour would probably take many, many thousands of generations – but at least we know that evolution is a thing that happens, whereas exposure to radiation or toxic chemicals just kills stuff.  Too bad the concept seems to make for terrible movies.
Unfortunately, if the movie’s point is supposed to be that nature is tougher than us, the vague ending kind of undercuts it.  As I mentioned, we don’t really know if the protagonists are going to live to see another day.  Diane says that if insects turned on humanity we wouldn’t last long, but at the end the main characters are still alive.  There are movies in which an open ending is perfectly appropriate, but in this one it just feels incomplete.  If I were writing this, I would have the humans escape to another town or city, onto to find that the spiders have gotten there first.  That would be a little cliché, but it would make the point that while minor victories are possible, in the end the battle of man versus nature can only have one winner.
Kingdom of the Spiders is fairly well-known as a ‘bad movie’, and I expected I would either love it or hate it, but in the end I did neither.  I dislike Shatner’s characters rather strongly, but I’ve seen worse, and he’s not as stilted here as he is in some of his work.  The rest of them are okay.  The music sucks but it’s pretty forgettable, as opposed to things like The Sad Mushroom Ukelele Anthem that crawl inside your ear and nest there like a botfly larva (if you don’t know what that is, do not google it, I refuse to take responsibility for what you’ll learn).  I think a big part of the problem for both this and other spider movies like Tarantulas: the Deadly Cargo and Arachnophobia is just that live spiders don’t make good actors.  You can’t direct them.  It’s really hard to take something seriously as a threat when it’s just kinda wandering around.
Speaking of Arachnophobia, apparently producer Igo Kantor believed it was a deliberate ripoff of Kingdom of the Spiders.  He didn’t do anything about it because, and I quote, “you don’t go and sue Spielberg.” That’s a good enough excuse, I suppose, but I bet he and the makers of Parts: the Clonus Horror would have a lot to commiserate about.
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