#but i also think i dont know how else to handle this but self harm

[muttsona]

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[phagodyke]

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[lilislegacy]

The way haters just boil Annabeth's character to just insulting Percy and not seeing theres more to her really shows how much they dont get her. Honestly Percy would hate them for this...

thanks for the ask @emilia9622!

agreed completely. like if you want to dislike a character, go for it. but don’t lie to yourself. don’t base it all off of one thing or flaw and make it 100x bigger than it is.

for instance, i don’t like luke. but it’s for a multitude of reasons. he knowingly betrayed all his friends several times, fought a deadly war against them, and intentionally poisoned the camp. he was percy’s first friend at camp and was a mentor to him, but had no issues lying to him and deceiving him. he literally was fine with the idea of 12 year old little percy being dragged down to tartarus. he also let annabeth be kidnapped and forced to hold up the world. when he finally saw thalia alive, he fought her and tried to harm her. yes i know that there is very complex trauma and history that led to all his actions, and i really do feel so bad for him, but i can’t respect someone who betrays his close friends like that. no matter what. i could go on and on, and don’t get me started about him having romantic feelings for annabeth… UGH. but that said, i understand why people love his character. he’s complex and has a lot of really good history. he also has a wonderful, yet tragic, redemption at the end. he really deserved better. i don’t have love for him, but his character deserves love. i’m happy that there are people to love him so that i don’t have to, because i have personal reasons for not liking him. i think luke is an amazingly well written character and i think rick wrote him beautifully. the truth is, besides the singular part where he admitted he had feelings for annabeth, i wouldn’t change anything about him or his story. so personally, i don’t like him, but i think he’s a great character and objectively, i can see why people love him.

it’s okay to dislike a character. but don’t pick their biggest flaws, strip away all the good parts of the character, and fool yourself into believing that’s all they are. (and then continue to go on tumblr and scream about how toxic and terrible the character is 🙄)

this is what “people can’t handle complex characters” actually means. people often throw that phrase around. people say that about readers not liking jason all the time, but the truth is, people are fully entitled to not like jason. it doesn’t make sense to me, because i LOVE jason. he’s my cutie patootie. but the people who dislike him simply don’t like him. they don’t usually make him out to be someone he’s not, they just don’t like him for who he is. they often just don’t find him interesting enough to break down the more complex parts of his character. it breaks my heart, and i don’t understand, but that’s okay. they just don’t like him. there’s nothing else to it. most annabeth haters, however, make her out to be someone she’s not and then proceed to hate on that one self-generated version of her. it’s so toxic. THAT is not being able to handle a complex character

no, annabeth is not perfect. if she was, she would be unrealistic, and people would hate her for that too. yes, she has excessive pride. she tends to think herself above others, and yes that even includes percy at times. but you know what? she admitted to having that issue all the way back in book 2. she was literally 13 when she explained to percy what hubris is and how it’s her biggest downfall. she’s a self aware queen. she knows it’s an issue and she works hard to correct it in little ways and make sure the people around her, especially percy, know she values them and their opinions. anyone who read the heroes of olympus series unbiased and got to read her POV knows that annabeth holds percy in the highest regard. she respects the hell out of him. even though sometimes she says things that aren’t nice, she doesn’t truly feel that way and always corrects it in some way. she’s not selfish, she’s just tragically intelligent, and it naturally gives her a bit of a complex. it wouldn’t make sense if it didn’t.

and i love her for it. the fact that she has a real flaw that can affect relationships, but that she is self aware of and actively works on, makes her legit one of my favorite characters ever. she’s SO realistic.

but people take that one flaw and make it her whole character. they call her cold and harsh, when in reality she’s one of the most warm and sensitive people in the series. she takes care of her friends. she’s strong and she’s often the leader, but it’s because she’s so loving and kind all the time. she works hard and looks out for everyone. she makes friends fast for a reason. she’s a wonderful person. she’s so, so sweet, and it breaks my heart that people choose to take that away from her.

anyway, sorry i just word vomited so much. basically i agree 100%.

[olderthannetfic]

Ok, wow, this is NOT the type of ask you seem to get usually, but this appears to be my best option...

I'm seeking out a post that is not particularly fandom-y in nature, but I was reminded of it after reading the earlier anon who was burned out from AI discourse - I totally feel the same way, and there was a really great lengthy textpost I reblogged a few months ago (read: "I read it any time from, like, April 2024 to almost a year ago......sorry") that I cannot find on my blog nor on tumblr in general - either because the post has been completely nuked from the internet OR because I'm just bad at SEO searches and remembering the keywords that were actually IN the post. I'm hoping it's a me issue or, if the post IS nuked, at the very least someone here remembers it and has an internet archive link or screenshot or something????

to get to the point, there was a post that was like (paraphrased, quote marks are not literal quotes):

"When it comes to the anti-AI crowd on tumblr, there's basically two schools of thought: people who completely hate AI and everything about it and are opposed to all forms of AI without even learning what AI really is. These people are stuck in their ways and generally can't be reasoned with.

Then there's a second group who are against AI for pretty good reasons - they really are worried that AI is gonna completely take over and steal artists' livelihoods, those who criticize it for environmental activist reasons, etc. These people generally can be reasoned with as they're truly misinformed, and in fact they would be - or already are - receptive to a less harmful AI."

The post then went on to compare AI to other forms of automation and made some really great parallels; such as bringing up the fact that stores that have both self checkout AND cashiers tend to be the best business models, because people who have their preferences can choose how they want to shop, AND we can utilize automated checkouts without completely getting rid of cashiers, which is obviously good for a lot of reasons.

It also debunked a lot of common fearmonger-y arguments against AI, i.e. explaining what "training AI" really entails, with some general copyright-critical philosophy in general. (I don't know the actual, like, political term, if one even exists, but basically they were talking about flaws with "intellectual property" as a concept - or at least how IP works today and why it works the way it does.)

There was also a really good addition to the OP's thoughts that I liked, with another user talking about: Essentially people who are gonna use AI would likely have done something else sketchy anyway, even if AI as it stands today didn't exist. For example, chatGPT isn't to blame for plagiarism. The people who use chatGPT to do their homework would, in an earlier time, likely go on Chegg / pay someone to write an essay / reuse their old work / etc. Likewise, the people who tell open AI to make artwork for them likely wouldn't make (or try to make) their own artwork anyway, nor would they even commission someone. They talked about how since fandom is so damn divided on the topic of AI, that the artists who DO feel as if their commissions are being taken away from them, or the writers who DO fear AI taking over fanfic.......well, to put it nicely, those people likely wouldn't really be losing many fans in the first place. You didn't lose a commission to AI - that person never would've commissioned you in the first place, and the people that do commission you hate AI as much as you do. You're not losing readers to AI - people who choose AI fics over yours are likely already the impatient type who can't handle waiting more than a week for an update, so they just make AI feed them 10k in one sitting! And the people who DO comment and read on your stuff, also hate AI!

I definitely did not agree with every single point made on the post (ie i dont think the self checkout metaphor was a great direct parallel logistically, but I def picked up what they were trying to put out and overall agreed with the general sentiment), overall it made a lot of really, really, really good points about the AI debate that I'd truly never considered before.

I know I've damn near rewritten the whole post myself now at this point but I also know there's a lot of stuff that I'm missing or that I just can't word and I'd love to know if anyone else has seen this post or has it on their blog in some capacity.

--

[stonedstargazer666]

I just did the hardest thing in my life.

Now I'm not sure how to go about talking about something like this.... i'm not all here mentally so just bear with me.... TW: Death, passing of a loved one, and organ donation. self harm mentioned.

I'm in Louisiana… Got here yesterday, everything feels like a blur… yet it feels like it's moving in slow motion…. It feels really good to see my stepmom, and stepsibs and my half brother Bear who came down to Louisiana JUST for me. Bear and our dad didn't really have a relationship, not the way I did with our dad. But Bear came down from Minnesota for me..... and I'm truly grateful for that.

My dad was legally pronounced brain dead on September 3rd 2024. Yesterday, September 4th, 2024. He had his Hero Walk from his ICU room to the ambulance bay…. i feel… I dont know… I've only ever have seen that on like med dramas before.. ya know? There's a place out here were they take him to handle as they put it "His gifts". Because he was an organ donor… I'm so proud of him for that Oh my gods I'm so proud of him for that…. but that walk… seeing all those doctors and nurses staff. some of who are my step moms co workers… it was the hardest thing i have ever done/ had been a part of in my life…. there is already a recipient of his liver. My dad is going to save someone else's life….. (we just got a call from the place that he went to, they were able to recover his liver, and two other things for transplants!!! THREE THINGS. MY dad is helping three different people!!!!)

Before we did the Hero Walk, Bear got to hang up a flag in honor of our dad. which was flown at half mast at the hospital. He's keeping the flag. Yesterday I had the honor of recording his heartbeat, and it's on my phone. I haven't listened to it since recording it.... I'm scared too, but I know that I wanna save up to get a Seattle Seahawks bear from Build a bear and put his heartbeat in that. I know it's going to kill me everytime I play it, but I think it'll also help???? the jury is still out.. lol

THe hero's walk was so surreal.... seeing that in real life.... I...I don't know how to process it... the doctors, nurses, and staff lined the hallways from the ICU to the ambulance bay.... it was so quiet, and I was sobbing the entire time walking behind my dad. He really is a hero... and my respect for him grew. I already had so so much respect for him. But wow.... The hero's walk was up til today, something I only saw on med dramas.... it felt so heavy, every single one of those people in those hallways had such a heavy look of respect and admiration for my dad. I feel like I'm shock kinda.... just a lot going on my head I cant keep things straight tbh...

Everyone has been a mess, but I think my stepmom and I take the cake on being a mess. (She doesn't have Tumblr, and none of my other family do so i'm not worried about them seeing this heh...) I have been dissociating a lot... I think... been blasting Sleep Token a lot to deal with this.... I never thought that my dad would be gone so soon... It's weird sitting in his chair writing this, knowing that he would usually never let anyone else sit in it... I have moments of hearing his voice when it's completely silent.... it's a sound that I will never forget, and his deep belly laugh when you would get him rolling.... his smile... Gods... I don't know how to feel.... it's weird to be here without him.... I wouldn't be sober if it wasn't for my dad, yeah I made the choice to get sober, but he helped me. He let me scream, cry, vent.... I didn't go to rehab, I literally detoxed on a greyhound bus on my way to Ohio. but when I got to Ohio. My dad was a Video call away, and I called him a lot. He didn't care about my ramblings, or the fact that I can never stay on topic.... he did the same thing.

We are cremating him, and having a wake for him with a viewing... which is going to be really hard for me honestly. After seeing him in the ICU.... but I think it'll be nice. and by cremating him. I'll be able to always have a little piece of him with me always. I just need to find something for his ashes, something that means something to both of us. Just us. I don't know where to even start... I'm not gonna be able to do anything until next month anyway...... I honestly feel so lost right now.... I keep thinking who am I gonna call. and my first thought is my dad....

I can't call him, and it hurts so much. But I know he isn't in pain anymore. He's with his dad, and grandpa. He's with my grandma, and aunts who loved him. But.... I feel lost... my heart hurts so much... I know that I'll learn to cope, and with a lot of time. It will get easier, but it doesn't feel like it. It really doesn't...

there is a GoFundMe going... i can get it from my stepmom if anyone wants it.. it was set up by a family friend.. just dm me I guess. i'll answer DMS but that's really it.

Me and my dad in 2019 in Idaho

This picture of my dad, I'm not sure when it was taken, but he looks so cool.

My dad when he was about 17 or so and his Mopar, this is my absolutely favorite picture of him. Picture courtesy of my Uncle Floyd on Facebook hehe.

Then these are pictures of his flag, the first three I took from the parking lot of the hospital. the last one my brother Bear took. I'm gonna post more photos of my dad. My Uncle Floyd, his brother is sending me a lot, and my stepmom and I are going through his facebook page and shes telling me stories about some of them. While going through some of his stuff... I know its soon.... but honestly... I'm keeping a lot of it. IDK where I'm putting it. But so far its mainly clothes, and stuff me and TJ one of my partners can wear. Might give my other partner a shirt if they'd like....

My dad is a hero, and is going to be saving someone's life tonight with the gift of his liver. I am so proud to be his daughter, but at the same time I am so hurt that he's gone. A small piece of him is going to live on with somebody else, whoever that is. I know they will be grateful for this, and that makes me happy. so happy, my dad loved helping people. So he is very much a super hero in my eyes.

Fly high daddy. I love you so much. You are saving one more life tonight, and I am so proud of you. So very proud to be your daughter, thank you for being my dad and one of my best friends. Even if you said that we weren't. I feel in my heart of hearts we were, I will never stop thinking about you. Or what you would do, or say. what jokes you would make, or how you say them. I love you so so much. I know you will be watching over us from now on, and that you wouldn't want me crying. But dammit dad... you know how I am... I can't help it... It's going to take a while before I can think of talk about you with crying. and you know it. you were always my hero for many reasons....

Do you know how hard it is going to be for me? Not being able to call you? Not being able to excitedly chitter to you about small things like my crystals or tarot cards? or...or calling you crying because I don't feel good or I have cramps and you make me feel better by making me laugh?? I know you know... I get the concept. heh.. But...I guess something is coming from it. I'm getting to know my Uncle Floyd better... He misses you a lot dad, Floyd loves you so much. He's sending me all of these really neat pictures of you guys... and he was making me laugh. Explaining the difference between having a mullet, and having long hair with bangs... lol

Floyd has been checking in on me and everyone almost daily, I haven't talked to him this much ever... which, yeah I know I can't take all the blame. He even said so.... You know you two are so much alike its kinda scary. heh. He called me princess the other day while I was on greyhound. I don't think he was thinking about it to be honest. He's been calling me kiddo a lot, kinda like you did. I think its cute. hehehe. But I think sadly this was the push I needed to connect with him more... He also has a really nice voice, just like yours. And the push I needed to connect with Kim more too.

I know that because of my mom, my relationship with Kim has been kinda weird. But I'm realizing that... some information was revealed and more clarified to me about certain happenings with my mom and wellll.... let's just say there are A LOT of emotions right now with that... I don't even know where to begin on that.... woooboyyyy dad... there's a lot to unpack there... and I know we've kinda touched on this crap here and there and really talked about things from your point of view. But Kim told me stuffs that.... Well I'm gonna need to talk to my therapist about it first because I really don't know how to process it. Because it was during the time I was treating you so horribly.... and I'm sorry... I didn't fully know or understand what was going on. I know I know I don't have to apologize for anything I know. But knowing this new information..... I'm sorry..... I'm so sorry. Ok i'm gonna try not to say that anymore. TRY.

I'm taking a lot of your clothes to be honest, oh and Ace is like my best friend now. Look! HE HUGE DAD HOLY FUCK

As soon as I started talking to Floyd Ace came out and started loving on me. I love him so much dad, he's so soft and sweet oh my gosh. But he misses you. He's definitely your cat lol for sure your cat. Everytime attacks Kim I giggle I can't help it. it's so funny, Tucker and Flash miss you too. Tucker has been so happy to see me. I love those dogs so much. I'm so happy to see them, and cuddle with them!!!! it's been so nice to be writing this and being able to set this aside to love on one of them for a minute. It's also been nice to spend time with Bear, We hung out a little yesterday.

He needed to run to Walmart, I tagged along cause well I wanted to go for a car ride. and I wanted to spend time with him too. He did drive all the way down here for me.... and yeah I know. I'm just glad he's here, he's getting some kind of closure with all of this... I know I've always been kinda like the fixer.. always trying to fix things... like relationships. like with my mom and Kim.

I now understand what was really going on... and I...I can't fix that. I can't, I have my own shit I need to worry about dad... like how i'm gonna live without you.... how am I going to do that?? I know I have TJ and Fruits... Kim, Bear, Floyd... Yes I've been constantly talking to TJ. I've been keeping him updated every step of the way....

But not you.... goddammit dad..... I know I'm going to be ok eventually, but this fucking sucks right now... My mind is racing, one minute I'm laughing about something you joked about or said, the next i'm shaking and sobbing because you aren't here... I feel like i'm constantly panicking.... I would totally lose my mind if I wasn't here with Kim and them... honestly I think if I wasn't here with them, I think I would be hurting myself right now or wanting to be really badly.... and that's a scary thought to be honest. I don't know if I do right now... but so much has been going on that I haven't really thought bout it frankly. I'm keeping a lot of your shirts for myself and TJ. I'm gonna see if J wants any of them. If not, well I'm not worried about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I promise to take good care of your shirts that your dad gave you. I have a lot of good memories of you two together, so to have some of these shirts that I vividly remember grandpa Taylor wearing when I was little, then seeing you wearing them... now me... its.... very special to me. And I'm very honored?? I'm not sure if that's the right term, but i'm gonna go with it...Of course I'm taking your Kiss Blankie, and one of your Seahawks shirts. my favorite one. the one you always wore, you know the one. hehe. I even have the shirt J and I made for you when we were teeny tiny. My handprint is so small oh my gosh dadddd... I promise to take good care of it.

Gods....there's so much more I wanna say. But I'm not really sure how too... I definitely feel like i'm still in shock...I thought I still had time... Dad... You HAVE to tell people when you don't feel good, I know you don't like people worrying about you but... THIS IS WHYY!! GOD dad.... I'm happy your not in pain anymore I'm so happy for that, cause god knows that you hated it so much... But this was too fucking sudden for everyone. Too fucking sudden old man.... Christ... leaving me...us like this... fucking hell dad.... I just... I need you. here with me. I'm always going to need you. I don't know what I'm going to do without you.... you were a really good man whether you believe it yourself or not.

You ARE a good man, you saved three different lives.... but mine is going to be changed forever and you know how much I hate change like this..... Honestly personally I don't think I'll ever really get over this, or this trauma... I really don't think I will. I hate this so much I do. plain and simple. I want you here with me dammit, it's not fucking fair! It's so not fucking fair!! I hate feeling like i'm being selfish when I know this is normal....I feel like I have to be strong for everyone else I don't wanna be. I spent most of my life hating you because of my mom!!! I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT AND ITS NOT MY FAULT. I missed out because of her, and because she lied to me about a lot of things..... and that's time I will never get back with you.... that kills me so badly..... like oh my gods it hurts bad.... so much..... I know there is still a lot of high running emotions. But you know how strongly I felt and loved.... gods... How am I going to this without you? I know I will..... but right now...I don't know how... I really don't know how..... I love you so much this hurts so badly.... I don't think I can properly pet into words how bad i'm hurting.... how badly i'm missing you right now. I know for a fact that if you were here right now, we would be talking about everything under the sun. Gods I need that right now..... I really do daddy... I just wanna talk to you, and laugh and hug you.

I would give almost anything for just one more day.... just to hear your voice, see your green eyes. hear your laugh.... feel your arms around me... I am so glad that we were able to work on our relationship. So fucking grateful. you mean so much to me daddy, you really do. I hope you know how much you mean to me.... I really really hope you do . I love you dad. I will talk soon.... maybe... might start a sideblog with letters for you... I'll have to think about that for a little bit. But I love you daddy. I will talk you later. toodles....

[nestastits]

Relatively new to the fandom and ive been spam rbing your posts but idk im just heartened to see another nesta stan that doesnt think she was better off on her own at the beginning of acosf. Like...the girl was on a straight road to the grave and most people dont..see that? Idk as a survivor/recovering addict it makes it hard to interact with the fandom bc of that kind of thinking/posts. Its rly harmful to survivors as well as people in the middle of that-- ANYWAYS keep doing you bookie im glad i found your blog mwah <333

🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🥹

As someone who has struggled with depression/self hatred and a eating disorder, I can heavily relate to Nesta. The people around me pushed me to do better for myself and I feel like that is what the people around Nesta did. Coddling wouldn’t of worked on me. Coddling 99% of the time does not work on people who struggle from drug and or alcohol addiction either. Coddling would not of worked on Nesta. Neither would have leaving her in that apartment, she was only deteriorating and I’m tired of people saying she would of gotten better if left alone. No she wouldn’t have. She didn’t in the year they stayed out of her life in that apartment. She just got worse and worse. 

I am a firm believer that the intervention the ic did was right, just not handled correctly. But you have to also consider Nesta is a stubborn person who at the beginning of acosf did not want help out of self hatred. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to get better, it was that she hated herself enough to think she deserved nothing. And she thought no one else wanted her to get better either. I as a Nesta can read her book and relate to not only her but the characters around her too. I know what it’s like to be Nesta and I know what it’s like to be Cassian wanting to help someone he loves but not always knowing how.

I do think the double standards and hypocrisy that flow in a lot of this fandom are inconsiderate of people who are actually like Nesta or have struggled with addiction. There are people who have struggled with addiction who relate to Nesta and then the antis constantly spew out how what the Ic did was wrong and Nesta was living her life in her apartment. It just confuses me? Then the ones who claim the ic were abusive to Nesta or that Nesta is abusive still anger me to a high level 🙄. But I guess interpretation is up to anyone? If you agree with my interpretation of the books, then I’d love to have you here! It’s always comforting to see someone else who has gone through what Nesta did and understands the depths and importance of what happened in her story without toxicity.

[eteru-roses]

"No matter how the wind howls, the mountain can not bend to it."

(^ quote from mulan :p)

hello!!!! welcome to the blog!

this is a disney-twisted wonderland oc roleplay blog! we're all here to have fun but before you interact, please thoroughly read the following section

🌿 BEFORE YOU INTERACT 🎧

before you interact with my blog, there are a few rules and disclaimers on this blog. they are listed here

🌿 first and foremost, any type of homophobia, transphobia, sexism, racism, fatphobia, etc. is not permitted on my blog.

🎧 please do not bring politics on my blog.

🌿 absolutely no pedophilia or zoophilia

🎧 i ask you not to mention wars on my blog. its triggering to me

🌿 i ask you to please respect boundaries.

🎧 do not cause fights on my blog, with me or with someone else

🌿 there could possibly be mentions of alcohol, self harm, suicide and drugs on my blog. i try my best to put warnings on posts in bold red text but please notify me if you think something show have a trigger/content warning

🎧 there will be foul language in my blog, in which will not have a cw/tw. if it bothers you, i think youre too young to be on this app

🌿 I ask you not to use any slurs. even if you are able to use them, i do not truly know if you can, and they make me rather uncomfortable.

🎧 please dont bring heavy NSFW stuff on my blog. this means i dont want to read smut, lemon, lime etc. suggestive jokes and asks are fine. they're rather funny infact

🌿 If i do anything that crosses a boundary, discomforts you, or makes you upset, please, immediately message me. i want to be a mature person. i want to be a (atleast) decent person. i hate loosing friends.

🎧 you can absolutely dm me. you can rant about your ocs to me, show me art, go ahead!! i love hearing about other people's ocs. you can also vent in my dms, but please ask first.

🌿 when sending an ask, please specify who its for. if not specified, it will be answered by both atamai and rida, or whoever i think fits it best. if you want to ask me, ren/guy behind the screen, specify so.

🎧 im absolutely terrible at reading tone, so i ask that you please use tone tags

🌿 This is a multiship blog 🎧

there are more rules when it comes to this!

🌿 relationships will not under ANY circumstances intersect with eachother.

🎧 this also means that i won't be having poly relationships with my characters. i don't know how to handle them.

🌿 i, the mod won't be getting into any irl relationships

🎧 as stated in the previous section, please, no heavy nsfw. suggestive jokes are fine. be reminded both my characters and i are on the acesexual spectrum

🌿 if you would like to start a ship with one of my characters, please privately message me. I would like to set something up with you.

If any of the rules stated are broken, i will first privately contact you, giving you a warning. the second time i will send you a dm, then block you.

okay now all that stuff is over, we can talk about my characters and i now :3

🌿 atamai ēteru 🌿

🌿 atamai speaks in blue text

🌿 age: 18/eighteen

🌿 birthday: december 12th

🌿 year: junior / third (3rd)

🌿 height: 5'8~5'10 / about 175 cm

🌿 dorm: octavinelle

🌿 class: 3-A

🌿 gender/pronouns: amab, he/they

🌿 sexuality: omniromantic demiromantic (masc preference) demisexual

🌿 Iikes: old/classic literature, his plants, gardening, his cat

🌿 dislikes: loud places/noises, crowds, bright lights, unconsentual physical contuct

🌿 least favorite food: any seafood/fish

🌿 favorite food: spring/hanami/tri-color dango

atamai ēteru is a quieter young man. he tends to have a more formal/proper way of speaking, and is rather short with his responses if he doesn't know who he is speaking to. once he gets closer to someone, he speaks more casually and freely around them. he has a more business casual way of dressing, typically wearing collared button-up shirts and vests, along with dress pants. he has a small white cat in his dorm named jasmine. he enjoys plants, especially interesting ones. his favorite flowers are snapdragons. he has autism, ptsd, and adhd. he tends to speak in a more formal way, i promise he doesn't hate anyone.

his backstory can be found here

you can find picrews here

pintrest board of his clothing taste here

🌿 atamai's relationships

friends/platonic

🌸 @/nrcbookclub 🌿 trystia sullivan 🌿 considers her a sister in all but blood 🌸

🌸 @/official-nrc-prophet 🌿 atlas cassandrasan 🌿 conaiders him a friend 🌸

🌸 @/official-vil-schoenheit 🌿 vil schoenheit 🌿 considers him a friend 🌸

🌸 @/floyd-leech-thing 🌿 floyd leech 🌿 considers him a friend/co-workers 🌸

🌸 @/jadeleech-official 🌿 jade leech 🌿 co workers 🌸

🌸 @/seven-seas-octavinelle 🌿 azul ashengrotto 🌿 friends? he's mai's boss 🌸

partners/romantic

🌸 none yet! 🌸

🎧 rida ēteru 🎧

🎧 age: 17

🎧 birthday: may 20th

🎧 year: sophomore/2nd(second)

🎧 dorm: heartslabul

🎧 height: 6'1 / about 185 cm

🎧 gender/prns: trans male/afab he/xe

🎧 sexuality: panromantic asexual

🎧 likes: talking, horror games, listening to music

🎧 dislikes: unconsentual touch, getting yelled at, dogs (they scare him)

🎧 fun facts: he has a ginger cat named pepper, along with liking horror games, he likes games similar to splatoon

rida is a very extroverted, talkative young man. he has a bright and happy personality. he enjoys horror games, and can play most of them without flinching. he is rather smart for someone as talkative as himself. he is the younger brother of atamai. he has adhd, ptsd, and bipolar.

backstory has not yet been written.

you can find his picrews here

pintrest board of his fashion taste here

i also made him a spotify playlist here

🎧 rida's relationships

friends/platonic

🎧

partners/romantic

🎧 @/nrcbookclub 🎮 harvey moore 🎮 his boyfriend <3 🎮 #rida's butterfly 🎧

✩ about mod/ren - dude behind the screen ✩

hi!!! im ren (nickname) , so hi! i speak in purple text. i have medically diagnosed adhd and autism, please be patient with me. i dont have the brightest past, please dont yell(or all caps in this case) at me when upset. it is very VERY triggering. i use he/they and im a transmasc demiromantic omniromantic asexual

i love making friends, dms always open!!

say hi boys!!

hello.

hi!!!!!

credit for the dividers go to @/cafekitsune

also if anyone's wondering about the quote its because both of them are based off mulan :p

[1tsjusty0u]

another! ok one. do any of the champions have scars. two. link scars.

honestly i think all of them should have scars

ok mipha!!! one is on her arm from lightscale trident ceremony practice: a rock scraped her as she was coming down. i also want to think she got shocked by shock arrows before, however those Are fatal to zora so either she’d have to have a natural shock resistance or her mom was able to help her (fairy i think). i also think itd be neat for her to have top surgery scars however i dont think shes actually had top surgery before </3 . another is from sparring and its on her hand! and some from lizalfos and one from octorocks. other than that she doesnt really get scarred, maybe little ones from rock scrapes sometimes but scales kind of cover them. OH also guardian burn

revali!!! similar deal to mipha except its more recent- training his gale and ending up scraping the rocks lining the flight range. luckily they arent to bad but yeah. i think itd be neat if he had chronic pain in his arms but rhats not really a scar. i think he has slight scrapes from a bomb arrow he used that was a bit too close and maybe one from trying to fish and bonking a rock. otherwise he tries Very Hard not to scar himself (wings, also no dont ask me the logistics on his flying with burn scars. with chronic pain he just takes it until he gets aid either with things like compression gloves (rito style of which i need to consider) or pain medicine and such. i need to see what kind of aids exist for this). i would say he got burns from dinraal however i dont actually know how hard its be to get a horn without burning. also i dont want to have to deal w actually no he Did get burned by dinraal it doesnt have to be on his wings

daruk!!! on one hand i like to believe he has So Many Scars just because he lives in death mountain and also. rock guy. bounce. but the problem is i dont know what stories would be tied to them besides the champion trials. and also his rocks on his backside would take most of it/be chipped so. hm. well burn scars firstly; gorons can handle the head but i dont think they can withstand true lava. so when he stood on it it burned his feet a bit. igneo talus burns, self explanatory. maybe talus scrapes in general, i heard in a fic the concept of talus seasons for death mountain and while i dont know if its real i think its cool. maybe some scrapes from rock roast but otherwise yeah. tough cookie

URBOSA!!! same for daruk mostly as in i think she definitely has some but what stories they tell i have no clue. however i do have more ideas than daruk generally: one is from the yiga, likely due to thunder helm shenanigans. she’s pretty well protected with armour however they probably nipped a vulnerable spot that was in the . slashing zone for lack of a better word, and another time they mightve tried to go for her neck. another from a molduking, tossed and got scraped by the sand. shock lizalfoes also got her once, though less of a shock arrow but a shock weapon/horn. other than that? she’s doing pretty good!! as unless you get hurt pretty badly most things dont scar, or fade easily at least.

zelda!! i think she’d only really have a few pre cal, mainly one from punching a rock instead of the goddess statue, and two from yiga/monsters. and also shekiah tech actually, those lasers in shrines are actually called beamos which is so incredibly cool so i think she got a scar from one of those, and one from testing an ancient weapon. but otherwise post that its Guardian Burns and Malice. a guardian shot in her elbow is completely numb, but everything else Is Not!

alright so. link does have scars. bbut uhm. yeah no im not dancing around this: tw for self harm you can skip this section, it has a graph like the champions jsyk

so yeah! self harm; theyre mainly on his upper arms (luckily not on his wrists) and . yeah. theyre almost mistaken for yiga scars sometimes because he has scars from them, but nobody really. sees them because he actively wears longer sleeved stuff. anyways other scars are from a lynel slashing him, and a talus breaking his arm; its not a visible scar but yeagh. post calamity he’d get more self harm scars and more monster scars but thats about it. also same deal with mipha for top scars; i Love the hc so much but i dont think links ever gotten surgery for it he does other things like a sarashi as a binder (its not very safe dont do this in like. modern times)

[magnoliamyrrh]

i find the whole conversation around self-dxing to be interesting too because while self-dxing can indeed be dangerous and bad, on the other hand i am also quite anti-psychiatry, if youve got something youve obviously got it without a diagnosis, and getting a diagnosis can be hard af

like idk i think way too many ppl push this "go get therapy go get professional help and evaluation!!!" thing all the time. as if many therapists and psychs arent stupid af, as if they cant be wrong, as if they cant further traumatize someone, as if they can't be smart and kind ppl but Still get things wrong. and as if the entire psych system for the most part isnt fucked in manyyy ways...... like... yea, if you can and find a good one go i guess depending on circumstance... but you better take everything they say with a grain of salt too, wtf

.... yes teenagers and in general young ppl self diagnoing themselves with 2000 things is harmful. they may be doing it either for attention, because its cool and trendy, bc theyve actually got histrionic or mauchausens, bc theyre pathologizing normal human reactions, or bc theyve not done enough actual research and went off of articles which explain things in such a way that frankly most humans would relate. or they may confuse disorders among each other, or they may not be pragmatic enough abt it. yes this is a huge issue. weve got 20000 teenagers and young adults and even some adults running around saying theyve got turrets or did or autism or bpd or ocd or whatever the hell is trendy. psych wards for symptoms and conditions (which are themselves often imperfect) have been watered down to an extreme and are thrown around. therapy talk is being used to make excuses for behavior which should not be excused

...... at the same time. yea self diagnosis isnt inherently harmful all the time. the ppl who say otherwise and are 2000% certain only docs can tell u shit arent skeptical enough of docs. with some things its obvious. i didnt need any doctor to tell me i had anorexia nervosa or bulimia lmaoooo that shit was obvious and clear as day. i didnt need to be told i had bpd, i caught on at a young age i had it, and bc i neither could go to therapy nor wanted to, i spend years understanding that disorder on every which side and way and recovering from it myself. it saved my life. i dont even wanna know how bad things would have been if i didnt accept i had that and understood it - and yea, i didnt need no doctor to tell me to know. and low and behold, docs agree i used to have bpd, still hsve some symptoms, but have mostly recovered from it. funnily enough i caught onto having some sort of osdd/did years ago, than denied it completely to myself for years, than i couldnt ignore it and deny it anymore. ended up getting a diagnosis for that too. :/ i figured i had adhd for years on end but docs either thought it was something else or i wouldn't bring it up much. low and behold i have a diagnosis and the high doses of adhd meds i can handle without feeling st all "drugged out" are proof that i do actually have adhd

if anything lmaoo i have personal experience with having a crazy psych. a woman who mistook cptsd&osdd/did for bipolar disorder, gave me drugs literally illegally which ate at my body and told me not to tell anyone, and also yelled at me that i was crazy. had a therapist who thinks being molested makes ppl homosexual and that step-parent sexual attraction is normal on some level.....;;;; like;;;;;;..... yea. the psychs and therapists arent some sort of final say people. they can be crazy and they can be wrong

and the idea that Inherently someone with bpd, or did/osdd or whatever else Cant Know of their disorder before being told (tho the latter was actually suggested to me many yrs ago by someone) is just. wrong and harmful frankly. yea in some cases pls dont know, or theyre in extreme denial (like with anorexia). but not with all. not with all. 👀 my psychs found it surprising how self aware i was, impressive, but they did not think this was some sort of disqualification

idk. yea. like. theres definetely issues around self-dex especially in the hell were living today but acting like its Always Inherently Bad and Will Never Help and docs are some sort of authority who are the only ones with some say... ,,,, yeaaaa. no. that's also dangerous

[sillypilled-friendcel]

(my story)

(in dpeth talk of emotional abuse tw)

(i am NOT claiming that bipolar makes you abusive, just ranting about how my mum's bipolar influences the way she abuses me)

THIS is what i mean when i say my moms bipolar influences her abuse. alot of ppl do insane things when manic then dont even remember them after. my mom is at her worst when she's manic. that's when she snaps at me every day for miniscule things. that's when she threatens to rip off ny toes for being slightly annoying. because mania can make you a little insane and affects everyone differently. my mom gets angry and violent easily when she's manic. i get that from her, though I'm somehow alot better at not directing it at people. because i have the decency to be kind and normal and not hurt other people. because I'm working on improving myself so i dont hurt people. at least other than myself.

she's violently abusive and threatening to me when manic and has seemingly no recollection of that behavior after.

when shes depressed, she's at least manageable. she guilt trips and gaslights me all the time when depressive, but it's more manageable then being threatening and angry.

when she's depressed she's loving, even. just in a way that still hurts. she sends me things like "im sorry if i ever hurt you because of my own issues", which shows a level of self awareness i tend to force myself into believing she doesn't have. she may not thinks she's abusive, but she definitely fucking knows she hurts me. at least sometimes.

idk... just ranting becuz. i need to out this somewhere public to properly get it out, idk how else to explain that. it hurts, man.. especially fidning oht i have bipolar, and how i manage to be alot better than her about how i handle things. i still snap, yeah, but not nearly as much as i did before, because im working on myself. she's gone to therapy for years and almost fucking 50. yet i, an 18 yr old, have made more improvements in my behavior and handling if situations than her...

and like. i have the decency to worry about if im hurting people or not. even doing objectively harmless things i worry about being harmful. i need my friends to reassure me sometimes that im not hurting them somehow, and that also feels like im hurting them by needing that. she doesnt even care...

[theuniverseawakens347]

This is Garret he’s racist - colorist HATES LIGHT SKINS WE ARE SEEN AS SEX OBJECTS TO BE FUCKED W BUT SEND THE BLACK MAN TO DO IT BIT ALSO TALKING W CASHAY SHES BEHAVED AND WELL SPOKEN ENLUGH I WONDER IF SHELL LET ME STICK MY DICK IN HER -

NO YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

.. you talk to James WHOS A CRACK HEAD USING THE DRUG TO LIVE HIS SIN OF YELLING AT WHOMEVER HES RACIST TOWARDS FOR HIS OWN PERSONAL REASONS vs the Mexican woman in the library yelling SAME THING .. SHE SEEING PPL HER DED ANCESTORS FOR BEING FUCKING RACIST AND BLAMING SOMEONE ELSE FOR HER CHOICES IN HER LOFE POSITION ROGHT NOW - SAME W JAMES BUT NOT SEEING THINGS HES HEARING VOICES. - ANCESTORS FUCKING YOU UP FOR BEING A SHIT HEAD AND PUTTING TOO MICH FUCKING STRESS ON ME AND DARNIECE AND MY WHOLE BLOODLINE TRYING TO BALANCE SHIT OUT IN OUR OWN LANE BREAKING CURSES.

NOW YOU GOT PPL LOOKING AT BEN LIKE HES RACIST - BUT ITS TINA TO THE WHITE MAN AND BEN TRYING TO DEFEND HIMSELF BUT NOW THE OUTSIDERS CONFUSED ON RASIM BEGINNING THINK ITS JUST STRAIGHT HIM - WHITE MAN N A AFRICAN TURNED AMERICAN FAMILY OF SAVAGES TRYING TO GET BACK FOR THE MISUNDERSTANDING OF PICK A NIGGERS WHEN IT WAS UR OWN KIND BEING JEALOUS OF SOMEONE OUTSIDE THE TRIBE DEEMING SOMEONE KN UR TRIBE THE BEST AT X Y N Z - AGAIN YOU WERE GIVEN WHAT YOU CUD HANDLE HAD YOU STAYED IN UR FUCKING LANE N TENDED UR GARDEN BUT YOU SAID NO I WANA FUCK YOU OVER BC IM ALways the last picked in basketball teaming - YOU NOT PRACTICING UR SKILL SET TO GET REWARDED YOU STEALING FROM SOMEONE ELSE OR SETTING UR KIND OF FOR MURDER YOH WISH YOU WAS LIKE BUT DONT SEE YOU JUST NEED A LITTLE EXTRA PRACTICE TO GROW THAT SHIT DUMBASS DDG - sexyy red glorrilla who got a bigger ass or tits or prettier w make up on cause our music suck outside the beat and one or two bars here n there - LETS JUST TWERK - OKAY RAPE CULTURE CONFRATS ALL THE WOMEN AND MEN NOW FUCKING AIMLESSLY AND BOOM BABIES W PARENTS WHO DONT WANT EM IN FULL UNLESS THEY MAKE MONEY BC THEY DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE AND PARENT THEMSELVES TO BEGIN W - MOMMY N DADDY WILL YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU FOREVER TIL YOU DIE I DONT WANA GROW UP BUT ILL FAKE IT TO THE CAMERA OR THE OUTSIDE FAMILY MEMBERS OR JUST ENOUGH TO YOU TO GET WHAT I WANT AND NEED - LEE GARLINGTON IN FULL AND HOWARD NUGENT PROJECTING THEIR DEPRESSIONAL ERA MOMMY N DADDY ISSUES ONTO ME N MY TRIBE ACTUALLY WORKING LUR ASSES OFF .. SHAUNTE ALWAYS IN SNOOP BUSINESS CLEANING UP SOME ASS WIPE MESS 2pac CAUSE A NIGGA GOT TWO CARRIED AWAY W NOT UNDERSTANDING SELF SABOTAGE AND EXTENDING IT TO THE WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY - INTER RACE SHOW ALL GENERATIONAL CURSES. 🤬 FUKING DICKS.

“How do we get away from the white man chains on us” - EXAMINE YOUR OWN WHITENESS IN YOU .. WE ALL THE SAME FUCKING PPL - U FUCKED OVER AFRICA AND NATIVE INDIGENOUS PPL FOR WHAT!? Cows brains cannibalism - CONGRATS IDIOTS. EVERY DAY YOU WANT ME MAD N STARVING. SO FUCK YOU - I DIE WE ALL FUCKING DIE - LEE WHY YPU NUMB MY HYPOCAMPUS SINCE BIRTH - DARNIECE HER BLOODLINE HUNTS US SINCE THOMAS JEFF right .. Benni Frank. - GEORGE WASHINGTON .. illuminating the idiocity with Benni frank dropping in here and there semion toko - U DONT DESERVE GOD CAUSE YOU KEEP DOING DUMB SHIT TO DIE SO IMA DIE W YOU .. but YOU still gon be miserable- 3/4 EARTHLY WIPE PUT. CAUSE YOU WAS GIVEN SOOOO MANY FUCKING CHANCES TO GET IT RIGHT - NEVER TOLD YOU I WAS GOD TIL NOW BC AGAIN WHY TF WOULD YOU HARM ANYONE INSTEAD OF WORKING ON YOURSELF!??? - self harm new perspective LEE GARLINGTON HOWARD NUGENT Suicidal PARENTING

[spade-club]

Mental health update of sorts. Heavy stuff under readmore!!

Summary: still upset about getting cheated on forever ago but I'll be okay

Guess who's self harming again!! Its meeeee~

Read through some texts between my partner and one of the guys they cheated on me with. Most of it was in person (fun fact: they were roommates at the time!) So it wasnt much of it but it was still fucking uncomfortable!! I dont feel bad for reading it. I think they gave up their privacy when they did what they did tbh. But I know I shouldnt have done that because now its so easy to picture and to get the day-nightmare scenes set just right.

Me doing this was prompted by seeing him in passing at the store today. He was just shopping with his kid. As if he wasnt the gross pathetic asshole he was in those texts. And here my partner is shopping with ME, as if they werent the avoidant cheating asshole they were in those texts. All while I still dont know shit about what really happened between them!!

I have to remember that most of the time I do still love them a lot. Its just really hard to believe that they just,, got better. That they realized they were in love with me and they'll never do this again. It feels like a line. They still willingly disrespected the O N E rule I gave them. With MULTIPLE people. All while trying to convince me that I dont ACTUALLY want them to tell me if they are having sex with other people (real thing they did!! I was telling them the whole entire time "i might be okay with you sleeping with someone else but you need to tell me as soon as possible" and they kept telling me that they didnt believe I wouldnt be cool with that (which I would have been!! Duh! Or I wouldnt have said it!!) All while still actively PLANNING on NEVER telling me they were talking to two other people!! And slept with one of them!!)

I know things are better lately between us. But I cant help but think theres such a thin line here keeping me from getting hurt again. I'm afraid of trusting it, and I'm tired of having to consider it. Always having to think about it. Every time they go out, having to ask what they're doing and if I'm not sent a picture from wherever they are I panic.

The girls (which is to say the other parts of me that consider themselves my partner's girlfriends) can talk forever about how happy and safe they feel in this relationship. Genuinely, they could all go on and on and on! I know I'm sticking around here for good reason (and not just because I can't afford rent on my own!) I think its important to remember the good things and what this is all for. I wouldnt struggle this much here if I didnt love them. They make me coffee every day and open doors for me and we laugh and make music and share our little hobbies and interests together and we have such cute little patterns & routines. We're a family and we're here for eachother. We cry together all the time. They've comforted me though some wild shit. We host our little parties and get togethers as a team! We spend pretty much all of our time together (not just because I'm afraid of leaving them alone but also) because we really truly love being around eachother.

I just wish we didnt have such a rocky start that 7 months later I still can't get over it. It kills me every day that things didnt turn out just a little bit different. I would have liked going my whole life without having to have experienced how shittily they handled that. But its too late for that now!! Gotta just keep moving forward I guess! Relapsing into hurting myself over this situation is, realistically, just a slip up. These happen. I'm still recovering. I am still going to be okay. Things will be better again!! I was just triggered today but things will be better again!!

Gonna go to bed now maybe... yeah... its weed and homestuck time until the Z's drop or whateverr. Goodnight everypony!

[nahalism]

Hey! I thought it was interesting when you said that cheating is a sign of not having self respect, I never really thought of seeing it that way. I wanted to hear your deeper thoughts on that, I would say it’s simply that your partner clearly doesn’t care about you or maybe your partner gets a kick out of hurting you (because some people are like that, I’ve heard them straight up say that it feels like they have control even if their partner doesn’t find out they enjoy that they’re messing behind their partner’s back) personally I never understood people who cheat that is honestly something I would never on bible do, the act of betraying the people who love you and that you love is unforgivable to me and that goes for any kind of betrayal not just between lovers.

i love topics like this & would ac love to discuss them with others at length more often cause i feel like theres so much to b said & so much to unpack/understand.

— the reason i say its a lack of self respect is cause a self respecting person doesnt need to play games for control or power. a self respecting person respects themselves for one, so they know how to respect others. but they also understand fundamental world truths (which is why they respect themselves) & so fill themselves from within, move towards situations that are authentic to them, & allow them to move with integrity and in purpose. as a consequence, they leave what they come into contact with, with love and better than they found it. even if they cause harm, (for example fall out of love with their partner & break things off) they have enough love and respect to handle it responsibly and respectfully. a self respecting person wouldnt get into a relationship with someone they want to cheat on, hurt, have control or power over. they would go toward someone they can love, be loved by, and build with. what your describing sounds like a person too afraid to face their demons, so their enacting the internal battle their avoiding externally, on another person. whatever abandonment/rejection they get joy from inflicting is exactly what they suffer from and 🤷🏽‍♀️. i dont get that kind of cruelty.

someone who doesnt respect themselves buys into illusions since the truth hurts too much. so they believe the external acts make up for what they lack internally (which is untrue), & as such they dont have a functioning relationship with themselves, let alone anyone else. hurting other people or yourself (even if it provides hedonistic pleasure) is just a temporary numbing agent. full stop. i can be worked thru when a persons willing, but if they aren't, people literally treat others like they treat themselves. i also think we attract what we are. so i think when someones been cheated on, the low self esteem / self respect is triggered in them, & that shame (especially when they may have ignored their intuition before it getting to that point), delivers such a big self esteem blow that they fall into the same pit as the cheater, if they werent already. anytime someone buys into the person who cheated's narrative, 'maybe i wasnt enough, maybe i was tooo much, maybe if i fucked them more, if i was sexier etc etc' thats whats happening. & its just like... no. allow it.

bottom line is, if someone has character and integrity, they would at the BARE minimum have the decency to tell the truth about what they feel or, become single before they move mad. theres literally no way around it, any explanation other than 'i was trying to fill a void' is an attempt to excuse or deflect. naturally that doesnt make the pain of betrayal any less painful, BUT it helps. cause someone whos moving like that is childish & not all they make themselves out to b which 1) makes it easier to get over them, but 2) makes it easier to have mercy.

big up all the reformed cheaters & accountable human beings that chose 2 have character. super sexy

[kkoumiii]

Hi idk if you do these types of readings but can i request a 'reaction when angry' reading for txt members please! If you dont want to do the whole group that is ok! Instead can u do bg.

Thank you🤗

P.s. i hope u understand what i meant😂

Hey anon! I hope I understood properly your request! I gave it a try, don't hesitate to tell me what you think about it. What I got was really interesting, so let's dive right into it!⚡

/!\ Friendly reminder that my readings are not to take at face value, I do not mean any harm to this idol, it’s only for entertainment purpose. /!\

: ̗̀➛ 𝐓𝐗𝐓 -ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

sᴏᴏʙɪɴ ✺ ˡᵒᵛᵉʳ (ˢʰᵃᵈᵒʷ ᵃᵗᵗʳⁱᵇᵘᵗᵉ), 7 ᵒᶠ ᵖᵉⁿᵗᵃᶜˡᵉˢ ʳˣ, ᵃᶜᵉ ᵒᶠ ᵖᵉⁿᵗᵃᶜˡᵉˢ ʳˣ

⇝ Soobin doesn’t know how to handle his anger. He can’t seem to express it in a healthy manner, that’s probably why he tends to repress it a lot. Rather than releasing it, he takes his mind off the situation. However, once he explodes, his persona changes completely: he can become very aloof, which contrasts with his habitual self. He won’t say anything, and his coldness will let the people around know that he’s mad. He can also be a lot more impatient and passive aggressive. He won’t say what’s wrong, but you can feel it through his aura. Soobin seems to feel everything intensely, but he doesn’t manage to put his emotions and feelings into words. This brings him a lot of frustration and contributes to his anger, which builds up little by little until he finds a way to calm down. He probably needs to be alone in these moments as to let his anger flows until it’s gone. Soobin will get cross because of accumulation, when it is the last straw that breaks the camel’s back. It can also happen when things don’t go his way, and he feels like he’s losing control.

ʏᴇᴏɴᴊᴜɴ ✺ ˢᶜʳⁱᵇᵉ (ˢʰᵃᵈᵒʷ ᵃᵗᵗʳⁱᵇᵘᵗᵉ), 10 ᵒᶠ ˢʷᵒʳᵈˢ, ᵗʰᵉ ˡᵒᵛᵉʳˢ

⇝ When angry, Yeonjun tends to bring back up past events that hurt him and are hard to forget. He’s a bit resentful and even if he forgives, he never forgets. He’s willing to resolve any situations because he doesn’t like conflicting atmospheres, but once something or someone reaches his limits, he will list every mistake that did him wrong. This bitterness can lead him to use sharp words. Even though it doesn’t stem from a bad intention, he just can’t control himself, the words go out of his mouth without any filters. To come to this point, you have to hurt him really bad though. And if he reacts that way, he doesn’t mean to hurt anyone, but he reacts with his own wounds. I don’t think he would intentionally use someone’s insecurities to hurt them in return. He would rather tell his point of view and point out which actions made him feel that way. He might be really sensitive to what the person he’s confronting might say during the conflict, and their words will influence the way Yeonjun will react afterwards. If the person is willing to find a middle ground, he will chill out. But if it’s not the case, he will try to turn the situation in his favor. This leads me to think that he needs alone time to calm down whenever this happens. He’s aware that he can be easily riled up in these moments. He will lose his temper when it’s related to an open wound or something precious to him, but you won’t get him over futilities.

ʙᴇᴏᴍɢʏᴜ ✺ ᵈᵉᵗᵉᶜᵗⁱᵛᵉ (ˡⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵃᵗᵗʳⁱᵇᵘᵗᵉ), 7 ᵒᶠ ʷᵃⁿᵈˢ, 9 ᵒᶠ ˢʷᵒʳᵈˢ ʳˣ

⇝ As for Beomgyu, he has a lot of pride specially when he’s angry, and he’s easy to anger. He knows exactly what to say, he has an answer for everything, and he’s always right (it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily the truth though). The other person could say whatever they want, Beomgyu would always find a counterargument to win. He doesn’t question himself in these moments because his anger takes the lead above everything else, he can be very impulsive. He might regret it later but in the heat of the moment, he doesn’t control it and knows exactly how to hurt the other one. I feel like he can be a bit snide and cutthroat. He doesn’t wait for his anger to pile up, he expresses it right away and you can feel it coming. If he doesn’t treat the origin of his anger, he will distract himself and make sure to keep his mind busy as to not think about it. At least, he does this until he can’t hold it anymore… This can be unhealthy for him.

ᴛᴀᴇʜʏᴜɴ ✺ ᶠᵒᵒˡ (ˡⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵃᵗᵗʳⁱᵇᵘᵗᵉ), ᵏⁿⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵒᶠ ʷᵃⁿᵈˢ, 2 ᵒᶠ ˢʷᵒʳᵈˢ

⇝ Out of all the members, I think Taehyun is the one who handles his anger the best. He sees the two sides of the same coin and takes into consideration each perspective. He’s not easy to anger, he’s comprehensive and does his best to understand the situation. Yet, once he’s angry… it means there’s a justified reason and it’s hard to win an argument against him since he already assessed the whole situation. Compared to Yeonjun, he’s not the type to bring up things from the past, he only focuses on what’s doing him wrong in the present time. Once he gets everything clear, he gets over it and can even laugh it off after a while. He’s not resentful, he just resolves the problem without losing control of himself. He manages to say what he thinks even if he’s cautious with his words. Overall, Taehyun accepts and embraces his emotions the way they are, so if he feels angry, he knows it’s for a reason. He simply lets things unfold by themselves.

ʜᴜᴇɴɪɴɢᴋᴀɪ ✺ ᵐʸˢᵗⁱᶜ (ˡⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵃᵗᵗʳⁱᵇᵘᵗᵉ), ᵗʰᵉ ʰⁱᵍʰ ᵖʳⁱᵉˢᵗᵉˢˢ, 6 ᵒᶠ ʷᵃⁿᵈˢ ʳˣ

⇝ I feel like Hueningkai is the one who dislikes conflict the most, and he avoids anger as much as possible. He would rather try to resolve the issue before it explodes than having to deal with the anger and the resentment it can bring out. He won’t scream nor lose control over himself. He will remain calm but if the other person screams at him, he will feel aggressed and thus, shut himself away. He tries to be wise and takes a step back to better apprehend the situation. He tries to put his anger into words, to understand the situation and resolve it as soon as possible. He’s not the type to be aggressive. In these moments, his pride doesn’t matter because he doesn’t care about being right or wrong, he only wants to take this weight off his mind. He’s more worried about getting in troubles or feeling someone else getting mad at him. He can’t bear to be angry and he tries to not reach this point, that’s why he doesn’t get mad easily. He might go on a guilt trip if he loses his temper.

Hope you enjoyed it! Take care 💛

Bye 🌻

- kkօմตííí ❁

[om-headcanon]

☆ mc catching the obey me brothers crying

i believe its fair to assume mc has seen at least one of the boys cry. here is what i believe happened. (if you want me to do undateables, let me know! tw for low self worth, panic attacks, and survivors guilt/death mentions)

lucifer

without a doubt the most embarassed to be caught crying

he had just gotten into an argument with diavolo, and he questions his importance in diavolos life

he goes into the study to get some extra work done late at night to reassure himself he is useful

with all of the stress from the situation at hand and some stress from supporting the family on his back, he cant help but shed a few tears

all he wants to do is keep those around him happy and healthy... and it tears him apart when he cant

if i cant make the ones i love happy then... what can i do...

he doesnt notice your presence, as he has hands over his eyes and is breathing slowly in order to relax himself

you call out his name softly to get his attention

lucy jumps and tries wiping his eyes and playing it off as if he was never crying

you walk closer to him and he keeps inquiring if theres anything you need

you dont say anything, you just place your arms around him and hold him in a tight embrace

and he starts crying again on your shoulder... harder, this time. holding you tighter and closer in the embrace

because of his pride, its hard for him to admit what he needs the most: someone to show they care for him

mammon

mammon is the type to not cry often but when he does, its a lot

while his brothers dont really have bad intentions, the daily degradation they execute against mammon really gets to him

he can only put up his confident front for so long, and not long after a fight with asmo, it recedes

he lay on his bed sobbing heavily into a pillow to muffle the sound for nearly a full hour

his mind cant help but insist all the words his siblings tell him are true... and he wishes more than anything that you were there to tell him they werent

he looks up to the door every once in a while with blurry vision, mind convincing him theyre at the door, but you not being there makes him cry even harder

maybe they just think the same as the rest of my brothers

he hears the doorknob, but convinces himself its his mind again. ironically enough, this makes him cry even harder

except its actually you this time

you run over to his bed to sit down next to him and rub his back reassuringly, asking if hes alright

he jolts up, shocked youre actually here. he closes his mind and smiles sadly with a tear stained face

he pulls you into an embrace and whispers a soft thank you... your presence helps him more than you will ever know

you hold him for a few minutes and tell him how awesome the Great Mammon really is

leviathan

its been a long stressful day at rad, and he cant help but overthink every single action he has made

every single glance hes made, every single word hes said ... just everything

most days he would resort to playing a game or watching an anime he loves in attempt to distract himself, but other days its not that easy

he starts spiraling, thinking of not only everything hes done that day, but actions hes done in the past too

eventually hes past the point of no return, and starts having a panic attack

levi cant seem to catch his breath and with the thoughts still rushing through his head at full speed, he cant attempt to calm himself down

he envies those who dont feel the way he does right now because god, what he would do to not feel like this

you were just wondering why your gaming buddy hasnt come looking for you so naturally, you go to him

you knock on his door waiting for him to ask you for the entry code... but theres no response

you enter and are quite shocked to see levi shaking on his bed

this is familiar to you... whether youve had to guide a friend through a panic attack or have been through one yourself, you know what to do

you reassure him this will all pass and knowing how hard school is for him, you tell him he did well today

you get him to regulate his breathing and gain some composure

hes embarassed you had to see him like that... but he lets you know hes so thankful that you came to help him

satan

he just wants to be his own person but with how his life was set for him, its almost as if thats a tall order

its very rare he cries from happiness or anything like that, but sometimes he gets so sad that he gets angry... and then he cries a lot

no one dares to go near him like that

and that hurts him too... that nobody could or would ever dare to console him because they fear what hed do to them

he acknowledges this is a justified fear as he is after all the representation of wrath itself, but it still hurts nonetheless

belphie decided to poke fun and tease satan reminding him of how hes lucifers shadow

he didnt take it well... and retreated to his room to handle his emotions

he knew his family didnt want anything to do with him while he was angry... and that made him feel like a burden

but he grew used to everyone expecting he handle his emotions himself even if every once in a while he desired some reassurance

satan sat in a corner of his room crying to himself waiting for this to pass because he didnt believe anyone else would care to check on him

but you were curious as to why he wasnt in his usual 4 pm reading spot, so you decided to check his room

he was just sat completely still staring into the distance while tears fell down his face

he didnt even notice your presence until you sat down next to him

you didnt want to pry, so you just asked if he wanted to talk about it

he shook his head, laid on your shoulder, and just said “this is all i need”

asmodeus

ahh... while self love is so easy for him, self value isnt

its easy for him to believe people want to be around him solely with lustful intent rather than because they genuinely love him

he doesnt really believe anyone could ever love him

so he overcompensates through self love because he believes hes the only person who could ever love him

hes great at hiding it but sometimes, this gets to him... especially after some quick encounters with others at the fall

he thinks maybe there is no depth to him.. maybe i really am just a pretty face and nothing else

asmo cries pretty often, but he only lets people see him cry when its over something material (ie, he couldnt get a new bag hes been wanting for weeks)

he cries quietly too in effort to make sure nobody sees him

he seemed to have forgetten that you two were planning to go shopping today so you went to his room to see if he was ready

you werent expecting to see him rolled over in bed softly crying to himself

you startled him when you said his name

“oh, mc, i didnt see you there!” he chuckles lightly to himself in effort to change the mood of the atmosphere as he wipes his eyes

you ask if hes okay and his sad smile falls slightly

he asks you if you genuinely think he could ever be lovable

your heart breaks a little knowing that he even has a moment of self doubt, but you reassure him that hes a lovable person inside and out

you hug him tightly while another tear falls down his face

you two decide shopping is best for another day... for now, you just want to talk and do facials

beelzebub

beel loves his family a lot

more than he loves food (also a lot)

he hates conflict between them and would do absolutely anything to avoid it

what he hates the most about himself is how hungry he gets... hes aware its poorly timed but theres really nothing he can do about it

but the feeling hes being an inconvenience to those he loves hurts him

beel is great at smiling as often as possible, but if theres any tension between the family, he wont stop crying until its resolved

once he was so hungry it wasnt possible to control himself and he ended up going on a rampage

he earned scolds from lucifer, mammon, and satan for this

it tore him apart knowing that he had caused his family trouble for even a second and he started crying because of the guilt

he couldnt even find enough energy to make it back to his room, so he just sat in the kitchen with tears on his face

you had decided to go to the kitchen to get a snack when you saw him

he apologized for being in the kitchen and offered to move if you wanted his seat, but you declined

beel didnt even bother wiping the tears from his eyes... he wore them like they were a punishment for his own behavior

when you asked him what was wrong, all he said was that he was a bad brother

you tried to tell him otherwise, but then he went into detail about the situation and how all he does is cause the family distress

you told him that isnt true at all and he continues to bring light and happiness to all those around him

hearing that his brothers will come around and know he meant no harm is all he needed to hear

“thank you, mc... i feel less hungry when im with you”

belphie

he has lots of survivors guilt

its been millenia but he still wishes that it was him instead of lilith

because of this he cries quite often, but never in front of anyone other than beel

this feeling that lilith and him should have traded places haunts him often, and its not always so easy to sleep it off

as fore mentioned, he usually finds comfort in talking to his older twin but beel isnt always there

beel was at one of his clubs at rad and belphie didnt want to bother him, but he really did need someone right now

unlike his older brothers, belphie actually makes an effort to find you

he doesnt find you in your room nor the kitchen, so he continues to search around the house in hopes youre around here somewhere

he happens to find you by yourself in the study on your d.d.d.

belphie feels bad bothering you, and enters the room quite quietly

“mc, can we talk?”

he sits down next to you and lays his head on your shoulder

contrary to what he stated he wanted, not much talking is being done

he just lies there quietly crying with no explanation why

he realises he may not be as ready to talk about it as he thought... but thats okay

you tell him that youre going to listen whenever hes ready to talk about it

that makes him feel a lot better

he falls asleep right there with a thankful smile placed on his face

[binniesthighs]

two tails | reader x minho |

One 

Pairing: self insert, female reader x lee minho 

Genre: strangers to lovers, neighbors to lovers, fluff 

Tags: neighbors au, comfort fic, catowner!minho, catowner!reader, author!reader, bestfriend!seungmin, agedup!skz, slow burn, plot-driven, gradual romance, meet cute scenarios, lil bit of angst, strained parental relationship, explicit language 

Word count: 3.9k 

Chapters 

P | ONE | TWO

homebody noun 

: one whose life centers around the home. 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Grocery stores are a cursed place. Horrible. You might have guessed that if there were to be a special layer of hell to be reserved for you (which you sure as hell wished there wasn’t) it would likely be a grocery store. 

Firstly, they are one of the messiest places that you could ever experience. Have you seen the ways that those beige-y grey floors get caked with dirt and smudges from who knows what? Have you seen the dirt and grime that hides under those produce shelves? Secondly, why is it that everyone always feels the need to get so close to eachother crammed in those isles? Why is it that you have to do that awkward shuffle when your cart and someone else’s cart gets in each other’s way and you have to do the “no you go first” and “no, you go first.�� 

You prayed that you had been good enough in this life to escape some kind of grocery-store induced hellscape. 

Partly it was Bomi’s fault. Temperamental nuisance. Three days into her newest bag of cat food and she suddenly decided to go on a hunger strike. The internet  had told you that perhaps she just didn’t like the flavor. Little did the internet know that you had nearly already tried every other flavor there was, even the expensive ones. 

You stared down to your crinkled up list filled with the ramblings of an attempted grocery list and other absentminded doodles. 

DONT FORGET STUPID NEW CAT FOOD 

Under the reminder, you had drawn an angry little cat face with Bomi’s characteristic calico facial splotches. 

“Damn cat. You’re lucky that I still love you.” You uttered under your breath. 

The wheels of your cart screeched as you turned the corner into the pet isle. Of course, you were the lucky one that had to pick the cart that had only three functioning wheels and whined like your mother over the phone. You cringed to yourself, bearing through the sound and the two glances from a mother and her child throwing an obscenely large bag of dog food into their totally normal cart. 

You didn’t need to, but you mouthed a tiny “sorry” to them as you passed them. 

The tall metal racks appeared to touch those flickering fluorescent lights above them as you perused them, glancing over all of the brands which you had undoubtedly purchased one time or the other. 

Tuna, salmon, tuna and salmon, tuna and veggies, salmon and veggies... 

What would it be that Bomi would tolerate this time? Was it grains that she didn’t like? Wet food? 

Merely looking at the prices for the canned cat food sprung such a headache that you wished you hadn’t looked at them at all. But, if it was what your princess would eat... 

On the highest shelf, your gaze caught a brand that you hadn’t seen before, so you summoned your strength to stand on your tip-toes, stretching up your arm as far as you possibly could, teetering just a little... 

“Al...most--” 

“Here, I can get that, let me just--” 

“--Oh no, it’s fine, I can reach it, thank you--” 

“--It’s alright, I’ve almost got it...” 

His elegant fingers got tangled up with yours. Had your determination been any weaker, he would have snatched it up all himself, but...

He chuckled a little. “Are you sure?” 

You turned your head to affirm, “Positiv--Minho?” 

“Y/n?” 

You had finally had the little can in your grasp, only to feel it slip out of your fingers in your shock. 

The terrible sound of the aluminum can hitting Minho’s head and glasses bonked between your fumbling arms, working just too slow. 

“Ssss-OW!” 

Minho’s hand went immediately to rub at the top of his head with eyes tightly shut. 

“Oh my god!!! Are you okay?” 

Instinctually you swooped in to see if any harm had been done. 

“Ah-I’m fine, don’t--I’m fine.” 

Your neighbor patted down his head, trying to craft a smile for you under his painfully crossed brows. 

“Are you sure? I-I’m so sorry. God, I’m so stupid and clumsy, don’t you think that you have a concussion or something?” 

He laughed out a sharp chuckle, then winced at what the action did to his head. “I don’t think so.” 

“Are you sure about that?” If he could have heard, he would have noticed your heart anxiously beating at a hundred times per second. 

“It’s okay, really, I’ve had worse things thrown at my head.” 

“What the hell could be worse???” 

“You don’t want to know.” He maintained his hopeful grin. 

Even after being assaulted by cat food, he was still just as beautiful as you remembered. 

“Oh! Your glasses!! Where did those go??” 

Frantically, you spun around, shoving your cart aside with another startling screee. Quickly you found them nearest the bird seed. 

“Here. Here you go, I hope that they’re not broken.” 

“Mm-doesn’t look like it.” Minho inspected them. 

“Oh thank God.” 

He huffed out one more little scoff-sounding laugh. “At least you’ve got the cat food that you wanted now. 

“Yeah, but at what cost?” 

“I said don’t worry about me.” 

Minho fluffed his hair back into place, likely hiding another rub to his throbbing head. 

What even does one say to someone who you nearly wrecked with cat food? 

“You uhh--what are you doing here?” 

“The same as you, getting cat food.” Minho snatched a bag of food from a lower shelf. “With three mouths to feed you tend to run out pretty fast.” 

“Oh! I-uh...can imagine.” 

“Weird shopping here like I live here now...never thought that would happen. I’m still getting used to everything around here; never knew that I would end up back living with my mom...and at my age.” 

“Don’t-don’t feel bad! It’s a nice area around here! At least I think, and it’s a... nice grocery store...” 

You did not think that it was a nice grocery store, but it seemed like the right thing to say. 

Minho smiled back at you warmly, just as he had done back on your doorstep, tabby cat in his arms. You had wanted to see it again. 

“-Guess that means I’ll be seeing you around here more often too then.” He took the cat food can--his ex-assailant-- to drop into your cart. 

“I guess so...and sorry, again.”

“Really don’t worry about it!” Minho rolled up his hands into little sweater paws on the handle of his cart. “I’ll see you later then.” 

“See...you...” 

Your words trailed behind him, seeing as he had already started wheeling away. As soon as he was out of an earshot, you cursed yourself out terribly--another habit you had developed since living alone; you really were your only company. 

“God, Oh god. Now he thinks that I’m a recluse and a wreck, oh god--” 

“--Hey! Watch where you’re going!!” 

An old man with a newsboy cap griped before you nearly collided with him and his cart full of diet sodas. 

“Sorry!! I’m so sorry!” You bowed profusely in apology while removing yourself from the isle as fast as you could.

Grocery stores really were your own kind of personal hell. 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

The cold metal of the bus stop sign dissolved into your sweating forehead while you watched the springtime sunset fade out before you. It really was pretty, and it was just enough to distract you from how weighed down your backpack and numerous reusable bags felt. Had your hands been free, you would have taken a picture. 

What time is it even? 

Your watch was restricted by the number of straps around your wrists. Sometimes stepping outside of your home and onto the sidewalk was draining enough to make you feel like scurrying back inside. Big trips like this however, had you falling asleep in those uncomfy plastic chairs in (also) disgustingly messy buses. 

To your right, you heard the usual hum of the number 10 bus wheel up. 

“Wait! Wait!! Hold the bus!!” 

Hurried footsteps came patting behind you, followed with shallow running breaths. 

Hair bopping and cardigan flopping a little like wings behind him, Minho sprinted to the doors. 

“Take a seat ma’am.” The bust driver snapped you out of your embarrassment over seeing him one more time than you would have liked. 

“Ah-sorry, I will.” 

You shuffled your way near back of the bus and attempted to hide your face behind your bags decorated with none other than flowers and cartoon cats. 

“Please don’t see me, please don’t see me.” You chanted under your breath while your neighbor looked for a seat. 

“Y/n? Heh, I just keeping running into you don’t I?” 

“Minho!!!!” You piped, just a little too animatedly. “Huh! Didn’t figure I would see you here...too...” 

Minho slid into the booth across from you. “I mean, it makes sense, we’re going to the same place basically.” 

“Don’t you...have a car or something?” 

“I do, but I figured that the grocery store was close enough, although, I didn’t really factor in how all of this would weigh a ton.” 

“Hm, I never really do as well.” 

A pair of older lades glared over at the two of you, clearly displeased that you were disrupting their peaceful bus ride. Minho cowered under their piercing and aged brown eyes, then stealthily slid into the seat next to you. 

His washed out jeans brushed up against your leggings, and you felt your hairs stand on end. If there was someone out there who decided if you went to a hellscape grocery store, they must have also been able to mask the smell of your sweat. You hoped that they were listening to your pleading requests. 

“It’s a really a nice evening isn’t it?” 

Minho peered out your window at the little shops and bustling streets beside you. The sidewalks were decorated with little skinny trees here and there which had just started to bloom with the buds of leaves and flowers. There was a peaceful air about the scene that reminded everyone that the cold would soon be gone for good, and the sky swirled into pinks and purples. 

“Oh! Yes, yes it is.” 

You tried your best to ignore the fact he was leaning into you slightly. 

“So. What else do you do besides be a cat parent and a part-time chucker of canned goods?”

You wanted to crawl in a hole once you saw his adorable grin once more. “I-I have a job, a couple actually.” 

“A couple? And what are they?” 

“I teach online college courses in creative writing and English.” your glasses fell a little down your nose bridge, so you adjusted them accordingly, “I also edit for a small publishing company--but that’s more of a side thing.” 

“That’s...a lot of writing and things like that.” 

“Well, it’s what I went to school for, and, I don’t mind...although my mother--” 

“--Have you written anything yourself? Anything that I could read?” 

You felt your cheeks set ablaze with heat. “You?! Oh no no no no.” 

“What?” A mischievous grin overtook Minho’s adorable one. “Do you write provocative content?” 

“No! I do not!” Your tone turned more defensive than you had intended. 

“Well, what do you write? Even if you did write that kind of stuff, I wouldn’t mind. Provocative contents are trendy these days.” 

“I didn’t even say that I write in the first place!” 

“I just assumed seeing as you seem to do other things in this field...so, what do you write?” 

“It’s embarrassing, and I don’t owe you the knowledge!!” 

Minho reached over your fuming body to pull at the bus cord, letting out the little stop requested tune. 

“What is it that you do then?” 

“Something boring and business-y that you wouldn’t care to know about. It’s definitely not as interesting as what you do I’m sure.” 

Your neighbor gathered up his bags while the bus slowed to the stop. 

“You coming?” 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

[19:07] 

me: seung, i’m such a fool. you will not believe 

seungmo: should I even guess? what? Bomi yack during your online lecture again? 

me: no, worse. 

seungmo: i’m listening. 

i guess i don’t really have a choice though don’t I? 

you’re just gonna tell me anyway aren’t you? 

The cat in question purred in your lap, permitting you your usual one hour of cat-attention a day like she would during the evenings. After your day of embarrassment, you had hunkered down on your favorite place on the couch, swaddled in blankets with the TV playing some nature show that you had been trying to pay attention to. Somehow, the thought that Minho living just doors away made it all seem even worse; you were bound to see him again. 

You bit your lip and started tapping away at your phone screen, regaling the entire tale to your best friend--who frankly had enough of your awkward “you-isms.” However, no matter how socially insecure you were, Seungmin appeared to stick by you. In fact, it was one of your “you-isms” that had brought the two of you together. 

Four years ago at that pet shelter where you had got Bomi, Seungmin was there too looking for a dog. It was Bomi’s skittish self that leapt out of her cage and into Seungmin’s arms when his dog started barking. Bomi had nearly destroyed Seungmin’s sweater by the way that she had clawed into him. Of course, you took her crime upon yourself and insisted on buying him a new sweater. After an exchange of phone numbers, he hadn’t gotten bored of you yet. Bomi had always liked him more than you--the traitor. 

[19:18] 

me: ...and then he showed up on the bus, just as I had thought that I had escaped, and then started berating me about what I do for a living. 

seungmo: are you sure he wasn’t just asking questions, NOT berating? 

me: it felt like it. 

seungmo: and why are you telling me all of this? 

me: bc I wanted you to give me some comfort?? or reassurance?? isn’t that what friends do? 

seungmo: what do you want me to say? I’m sorry, that was really embarrassing? get over it? stuff like that happens to you all the time y/n, I don’t know why you are making such a big teal of it. 

*deal of it. 

me: wow, you’re being of such help. 

seungmo: you’re overthinking it. as always. 

me: but i’ll have to SEE HIM again. 

Seungmin’s little three writing dots disappeared, and you waited in silent anxiety for what he would say next. 

[19:24] 

seungmo: you’ve got a crush on him don’t you 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

The evening sky had darkened, and you felt the air temperature begin to drop. It wasn’t unbearable however, and you had prepared yourself well with your giant sheep-like blanket wrapped around your shoulders. The cold wire chair that you sat in was undoubtedly pressing shapes into your bare legs crossed up on it, but you never seemed to mind it. 

Bomi yowled behind the sliding glass door to your backyard, so you allowed her to exit, making her a much happier cat. The two of you enjoyed these nights together deeply--they almost felt like a brief escape from life. Bomi would sneak around the edges of the fence, sniffing and looking rather suspicious when her green eyes would glow in the light of the house. Your glasses likely looked the same reflecting the light from your computer screen. 

You took one more sip of tea, then opened up your internet. A couple clicks, and you found the notification screen on your page. 

hearts: 267 

shares: 19 

comments: 21

Your eyes scanned over the little paragraphs that some of your readers had written for you. It made your heart swell with immense joy seeing the way that they had analyzed and picked apart every little part of your prose and how they would write IN ALL CAPITIAL LETTERS about how excited they were for your next chapter. 

~

I can’t wait for the next chapter! I’m DYING to know what was in that chest!! I really hope that Bomi can trust Davers. He just seems a little shady to me >////< 

YOU’RE INSANE FOR THIS. The fact that Bomi could fight off the dragon while Blaze was confessing his feelings for her??? I could never lollll 

 P L E A S E protect little Herbie. He’s such a cutie. I wish that hedgehog companions were real, I would take one with me everywhereeeee 

N/n, your writing is so so pretty!! I felt like I was right there in the scene with them! The way that you described the enchanted fountain had me drooling ahhh you’re such an inspiration to me as a writer!!! 

Blaze fanclub?? i’m trying to see somethin’ 

~

“If Blaze were real, I’d be the president of that fanclub.” You laughed out to yourself. 

Suddenly, you found you thoughts shifting from your dreamy Blaze to someone much less fictional. 

Crushes on boys who were real was much better than one’s who weren’t. It was nice admitting it to yourself at last. 

“Ahhhh” You sighed out, doing a little happy dance in your seat, then opened up the chat box to return to the replies. 

After responding to as many as you could, you opened up a new chapter. 

Chapter 22 

Blaze wiped off his sword, stained with the steel blue blood of the dragon, still steaming with heat underfoot. His disheveled deep black trellises were coated in his own sweat but it didn’t make him look any less dashing--per usual. 

“Princess Bomi, you still haven’t answered my question.” 

Bomi sheathed her own sword, then inspected her wooden shield for any more damage. For a moment, she thought that the claw marks made it look even more beautiful and intimidating. 

“Blaze. You know that I can’t talk about romance at a time like this, have you forgotten that the kingdom as stake?”  

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Bomi perched at her usual spot in the window, eyes fluttering closed before she would take her nap that would last for nearly the whole afternoon. You would have been lazing with her, but that would have to wait another hour or so: with your newest paycheck, you had decided to deliver some new flowers to yourself for your garden. 

The little array was spread out before you: yellow and purple pansies, pink tulips, fuchsia and baby pink peonies, and dainty while lilies of the valley were arranged where you had planned to adorn your front lawn. The aroma of the flowers lingering in the air was enough to make you feel as if you had transported yourself to the very magical gardens that you would be writing about that evening. 

A pair of songbirds chittered past, carrying their whistles behind them. For a brief moment, the sun shone directly onto your arms spotted with dirt and filled your whole body with warmth. Nothing was more peaceful than this. You took to work, crackling them out of their plastic pots, and digging at the earth in holes to hold them down. After a while, you felt the dew from the grass start to soak into your work-jeans, but it was a welcome little cool feeling. Next, you popped up to hose them down with your little attachment that made the water cascade like a rain-shower. You admired for a moment how the water would create little rainbows from the spray. 

“Ahem, uh-hi there!” 

You choked out a gasp before swinging around, aiming the hose like your sword to the startling voice. 

“STAY BACK!!’ 

You pointed the stream directly at them, only in your horror to see your neighbor, trademark cardigan and all, soaking wet from your weapon. 

“GOD! That’s cold.” 

The fabric hung onto him, adhering to every part of his body which was much more toned than you had expected.

Minho looked absolutely bewildered as the water dripped off his frame with sad little pat pat pats on the concrete sidewalk. 

“Oh God. Oh God. Minho, I’m so so sorry. I-I can’t believe that I keep doing this to you--” 

You nearly felt like crying, but for fear of embarrassing yourself further, you decided to turn around quickly in search of your rags. They were garden rags, but dry nonetheless. 

“Here, here, I-I think that these should help.” 

You dabbed at his body, although it was clear that this wasn’t helping in the slightest. 

“Stop, stop,” He pushed your hands away. “I just live next door, I’ll live being a little drenched.” 

“You realize that's an oxymoron right?” Your nervous hands continued dabbing. 

“A what??” Minho kindly laughed at your frantic hands. 

“It’s a...writing thing. Sorry...” 

“I really need to be careful around you don’t I?” 

Your mouth crinkled into a flustered line. “M’sorry.” 

“Can you quit apologizing?? Here, I came over to give you these, my mom made some extra side dishes so she wanted me to bring them over to you.” 

“Oh.” He handed you the little bundle of Tupperware containers. “Thanks.” 

“She also, or--I mean--I wanted to invite you over so that you could meet my cats...and! my mom. My mom too.” 

“You want me to come over?” 

“I did mention that I wanted to a little while ago didn’t I?” 

“Oh! You did...” 

“Does next Saturday work? Around 5?” 

“I-I can do five.” You brushed your muddied hand across your sweating brow. 

Minho scoffed, “You’ve...got something...on your...” 

“Oh! Oops.” You tried your best to wipe off the dirt, but you didn’t know you had only made it worse. 

Minho squeezed out his soaked sleeve to carefully raise it to your forehead. “Here, like this.” 

This close to you, his brown eyes deeply shone with the color of coffee, chocolate, the bark of forest trees after a spring rain, and a million other things that your writer brain could compare them to. 

“There. It’s all gone.” 

For a moment, you wondered if you really had fantasized him, or if he really was real. For you, you wouldn’t have been surprised if he was some kind of figment of your imagination: they usually were. 

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

[1 missed call, Mom, 09:12] 

“Y/n are you there? Why is it that you never pick up your phone? I’ve told you so many times that you should pick up when I call. What if it’s an emergency? What if someone’s died?? Nevermind, I wanted to call and tell you my friend’s daughter is getting engaged and I’ve been invited to the bridal party. I think that you should come with. It’ll be good to get you out of that house. 

Why is it that you haven’t gotten yourself married yet? You know that you aren’t getting any younger?? Either way, call me back. You’ll need to bring a gift too. Its impolite to show up without a gift. 

Ah, I almost forgot. Your brother got a promotion at work; I’m not sure if he’s told you. We’ll be having dinner to celebrate this weekend. Can I count on you to be there? 

Also, how is the job search going? Your father has some more connections for you to speak to. You need to take advantage of every one of them. You’re so close to getting something that really matters. I can feel it. Ah, I just feel like you’re wasting away there sitting at that computer with those silly classes. It’s like, barely any contribution at all. You could be making so much more money. 

Anyway, call me back once you hear this. 

love you sweetie, talk soon. 

i know that its tuesday and i said I would publish on mondays shhh just pretend I published this yesterday ooP