#but i also just wanted to add my own input due to the fact that i myself have stumbled across stuff not mindfully put out to the public

[91divoc]

yeaa cuz like i remember opening the main ttte tag one time and went to recent, the first thing i saw was nsfw just out in the open, no censorship no proper warning, and it whiplashed the fuck out of me. granted im an adult, barely, im 18 i just got here, but it was still kinda shocking 💀

if anything tho, for my 2 cents (or wutever the saying is called), i think that in the end if u truly do want to post suggestive or nsfw posts here on tumblr, there are much better and safer ways to do so to ensure that it's not easily viewed by the poor minors, or non-horny people here just wanting to enjoy their hyperfixations and interests

an example: having a big banner or text at the very start of said post that clearly and easily can be read and understood that the post contains nsfw work, and then make it to where it's under the cut so someone has to physically intend to click on the "see more" option to truly reveal the post

or if there's another way to hide it properly that i dont know about, that too. but in the end, *in my opinion please dont sue me*, nsfw should be kept in safer places that are well assured it wont easily be viewed/accessed by minors, and that it should be handled with care and mindfulness as op stated. like yall please, dont be putting it just out in the open in the main fandom tags without a single warning beforehand, it's not cool, kind, or considerate. hate to be that "oMg We'Re AdUlTs AnD wE nEeD tO bE rEsPoNsIbLe" person, but dude it's true. we are older, and there are younger kids here, we need to be mindful of them when we post shit that could not necessarily be good for them to see. and if you do it purposely and dont care, then i hate to say, but you're just genuinely disrespectful and pretty yucky of a person. don't do that.

feel free to add on and/or correct me on things

Not to whack a hornet's nest here but I seriously think some people should reconsider putting their NSFW posts in the main series tag. Multiple main tags, mind you. Those posts will still end up being visible in the main tag search.

You're still engaging in media that is directed to a younger demographic. If you're an older member of the community please think about who is going to see these posts. Not everyone in the community is going to be interested in seeing that kind of stuff. And considering the fact that there are still plenty of younger community members here, I think you should be more mindful about what you post about these characters out in the open.

[liliansun]

FTWS: FIRST ANNIVERSARY | L. DONGHYUCK

synopsis: You and Haechan have been fighting lately and even though they were small arguments, it all got thrown into the same melting pot. To add onto the stress, your ex boyfriend shows up unannounced and his arrival causes things to stir up even worse than what they were before. (Note: this is a pt 2, check out pt1 here)

pairing: boyfriend!haechan x oc ft. mystery ex bc 🤭

wc: 7.7k

genre: fluff, comedy, slice of life au, angst, all that jazz

warnings: swearing, kissing, mentions of blood (just a small part where a wound is open but not anything graphic), lmk if I miss anything!

mentions of: 127, dream and wayv members, mention of aespa members

<3: did I write this all in one day—yea, do I regret it, no baby LMAO. also a special thanks to mako for getting me through these last few hours along w ash and briar for also just being some of the most amazing friends I could ask for. also thank YOU for giving all the love to fre trial wedding style and giving it 1k notes in just a little over a week, I hope this is just as good as the first and I love you all <33

Ever since you and Haechan started dating, it’s been interesting to say the least. He takes you on random dates throughout the city and almost always pays for each, you try to reason with him that you do have your own money to chip in, but he tells you chivalry isn’t dead and pays before you can get another word in. You know it’s sweet and he’s trying to be romantic, but somehow it also leads to small arguments. For example, the argument you’re both in as you pace the living room of your apartment happens to be based off the date you decided to cut short due to his lack of view from your standpoint.

“I don’t understand why you’re so mad, I’m your boyfriend and I want to be able to do things for you.” Frustrated, Haechan watches as you walk around your living room, running his hands through his hair.

“That’s because you don’t let me do anything, you don’t let me pay, you don’t let me have much say into where we go or what we do and you treat me like a baby when in fact I’m older than you.” After listening to the reasons off on your hand, you stand with your hands on your hip. He rolls his eyes, moving his entire body in the motion. “By a couple months—why are we even bringing age up, this isn’t about who is what, this is about—I don’t even know what this is about anymore.” You let out a heavy sigh, rubbing your temples to relax the migraine that was pounding against your skull.

Haechan moves across the room, grabbing both of your hands and bringing them to his lips. The soft kisses he places along your knuckles brings you back in as you meet his eyes. “Look, I’m sorry for making you upset.” You can tell how genuine his words are by the look he’s giving you. “I won’t plan everything without your input anymore, I promise.” He continues kissing your hand, moving his kisses down to your wrist. The feeling of his soft lips on your skin let's open the cage to the butterflies that flutter inside your chest. “I forgive you hyuck.” He smiles against your skin, moving his lips from your wrist to your lips.

You wrap your arms around his neck, grazing your fingers through the ends of his hair. As he pulls back from the short and sweet kiss, he rests his forehead against yours, taking in the moment while it lasts. “Are you staying over tonight?” You frown, shaking your head which is returned with a mirrored frown. “I got a meeting in the morning with Jungwoo and you know that he’ll chew my ass if I’m late by a second.”

“Why can’t you stay over then, I’ll get up and make you breakfast and even lay your clothes out for you.” Haechan moves his head into the crook of your neck, checking every box of his tactics to convince you to stay. You relish in the feeling of his worth, letting out what felt like the millionth sigh of the night. “That sounds like fun hyuckie, but last time you tried to make breakfast, you nearly burnt down your apartment.” He laughs against your shoulder, making you laugh in return by the tickling feeling of him giggling against your skin. “So does that mean I can stay over instead?” You pull back, eyeing Haechan as he gives you the same goofy smile he always has on. “Go home before I take my key back.”

Haechan continues laughing, pulling his keys from his front pocket. As he holds them up, you see the purple key with home written across the metal. “As if I’d ever let you take this back, this is my key to your heart baby and unfortunately for you, you’re stuck with me.” Rolling your eyes, you turn him around and start to push him towards the door. “Yeah yeah, better be glad I still like your crazy ass.” Haechan opens your front door, turning around to face you as you wait for him to initiate the goodnight kiss. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s almost become a tradition for you two to kiss before the other returns back to their apartment. Even though you’re right across from each other, to you it seals in everything that the day has brought and leads to a better night.

Haechan leans down, kissing you so gently that you can barely feel that he’s there and those are your favorite type of kisses with him. All of them are probably your favorite, but this one in particular tops the cake. As he pulls away, you almost don’t wanna see him go, but you need all the rest you can get before work in the morning. “Goodnight y/n.” Haechan’s voice sounds so bittersweet, walking backward to his door as you give him a small wave. “Goodnight hyuck.” He smiles at the nickname, turning to open his door and disappearing behind it once it’s shut.

Closing your door, you make your way down the hall and climb into bed to settle for the night. Just as you start to get comfortable, you hear your phone go off with notifications. Deciding not to ruin your comfort, you neglect your unread notifications and opt for sleep. By the morning, you still don’t have the energy to check your phone and instead skip breakfast and head straight to the office to get the day over with. The moment you step into the building, you’re greeted with Jaehyun who was standing by the front desk chatting it up with Winter. You notice two coffees in his hand and to much surprise, one of them is your usual order.

When Jaehyun notices you, he makes his way over and hands you your cup. “You’re in a surprisingly good mood today.” You scowl at him as you take a sip of your drink. “Says the one who took the time to order me a drink, I’m not gonna pass out am I?” He gives you an uneasy smile before stepping into the elevator with you. The weird sense of deja vu comes over you, sending a chill down your spine. “You haven’t checked your phone by chance, have you?” Looking up from practically spacing out, you give Jaehyun a weird look. “No, why, did I miss something?” He looks at you almost surprised, shrugging as he gets off a few floors before your stop.

“Good luck y/n.” Just as you’re about to ask him what his mood was about, he practically rushes away from the elevator, leaving you confused. When you get off on your floor, you see Taeyong and Doyoung standing nearby. You wave at them when they look your way, getting a smile in return. Something in your stomach tells you that things are going wrong when they immediately turn their backs to you and start moving in the opposite direction. You try to push the feeling down, continuing down to your office. When Karina sees you, she pulls you aside almost immediately. “Girl what the hell have you been doing?” You look at Karina with the same confusion you’ve been giving everyone, wondering what the hell you missed in the last twelve hours.

You crouch down to her level, rubbing your arm where she had pulled you aside. “What am I doing, what the hell is going on, everyone is acting like I got the plague or something.” She scans your expression with her eyes, realizing that you haven’t figured out what you’re about to. She sighs, slumping forward before looking up at you. “Okay, I guess you didn’t get my texts last night which by the way were important so don’t freak out or anything, but Xiaojun is back.” At the mention of his name, you can practically feel the color from your face leave you. The mention of ex makes you feel sick and you have to hold onto Karina to keep you from falling on your ass.

A little backstory into Xiaojun and your relationship explains your reaction and why you visibly look ill. Before the two of you became a couple, Xiaojun was an exchange student who went to your high school in hopes to get into the journaling club and that’s where you two met. He was tall, had a pretty smile and even prettier voice. Naturally, you two got close and even started to hang out after school and outside of club hours. It sounds like a typical high school romance and from the surface, it was. Until it was time for him to go back home and you were both left heartbroken and frustrated on how to resolve the underlying feelings between the two of you.

Somehow, the world kept working in your favor and Xiaojun ended up moving back once he graduated from his school back in China. The two of you went to the same university and even both got into similar classes to spend the most time together. All things were going great up until your senior year when you both applied to the job you work now. Tension started to build as you both wanted to get a spot as an intern in hopes to kickstart your career as a journalist. You knew how bad Xiaojun wanted it, but you didn’t know if you were willing to give up your dreams for your boyfriend. Yes, you did plan and hope to marry him one day and even in the toughest times, you’d still find yourself wanting to grow old with him, but when you got the spot and he didn’t, everything started to fall apart.

Both you and Xiaojun would get into fights after you got back from working all day and unknown to you, he applied as well for an actual job to the company. When he ended up getting the job, you didn’t know how to feel, I mean yes you were happy, but he also went behind your back and didn’t tell you about it until he was accepted. After all was said and done, you stuck through it and eventually was offered a job as well and to you, this was a great idea. You’d be working with your boyfriend who you loved dearly and you’d both be doing the thing you love. All was found great for about three weeks until he was offered a job at the sister company over in China.

When he brought up the offer to you, of course you were heartbroken, but you weren’t going to let him leave his dream behind to stay here with you and this somehow added more fuel to the fire. He started accusing you of wanting to take his position and even went as far to say you fell out of love with him which was far from the truth. In the end, he took the position and left overnight after a heated argument that caused you both to split. It took you years to move on from the first love of your life and when you did, you met Haechan who has been the absolute best boyfriend you could ever ask for. Sometime in the beginning, you did find yourself comparing him to your ex, but Haechan could never compare to Xiaojun because he treated you so much better.

Karina’s hand on your shoulder brought you back in, the concerned look in her eyes making you feel even worse. Everyone knew the messy breakup that happened between you and Xiaojun and everyone was sympathetic for you when you started putting all your focus into working. “Uhm, how-I mean when like what—why is this even happening?” Your voice was shaky, taking deep breaths in to calm yourself. Maybe it was the nerves that shook at the mention of his name, causing a chain reaction of old memories and emotions to resurface or maybe it was the sheer pain in your chest that drops down to your stomach when thinking of seeing him in front of you again.

“He’s supposed to come in today, but I heard from Doyoung that he’ll be in by the end of the week, I just thought I’d tell you in advance to prep you.” Immediately, you pull her into a hug to which she returns and the two of you hold one another on the floor in the back space of the office. “Keep strong, remember you have Haechan and all will be well, he doesn’t have a hold over you anymore.” Her words soothe you and she feels you relax in her embrace. You close your eyes, mentally thanking every star in the night sky for bringing you an amazing friend like Karina.

“C’mon, let’s go to my office so I can tell you about Yangyang and the shit he did last night.” Both of you get up from the floor, sitting in her office while she works on some reports and spills every little detail from her date with your boyfriend’s best friend. You thought it’d be weird going on double dates with Yangyang and Karina, but seeing as they’re not actually dating (yet), it all just feels like one big hangout amongst friends. You confide in her about your small arguments with Haechan and she now isn’t too happy with the boy of mention. “Seems to me like he’s ready to take the next big step.” You give her a look, flipping through her paper files as she types away on the computer. “And that is?”

“Moving in together, duh.” You snicker, trying to find any hint of her comment being a joke. When looking up to find her staring at you, you realize she’s joking. “Oh, you’re serious?” She shakes her head, pulling the files from you and setting them on her desk. “So you mean to tell me you haven’t thought about moving in with him at all, not even once?” Shrugging, your face scrunches up at her disappointing sigh. “L/n Y/n, you seriously haven’t thought about moving in with your boyfriend of nearly a year?”

“Not necessarily, I mean I’ve thought about it a couple times, but the thought of it always gave me stomach pains.”

“Are you sure that wasn’t just his cooking?” Jaehyun’s voice was recognizable from literally anywhere, making you whip your head around to throw up a finger at him. He smiles, slapping your hand away as you turn back to Karina. “Girl, this man is putting all the signs in front of you and you can’t even see them, see this is why you’re fighting.” She folds her arms over her chest, leaning back into her chair. “We’re not fighting, we’re simply arguing over the littlest shit which actually makes no sense in the end and we end up making up.”

“I hate to break this little counseling session, but you’re about to be late for your meeting.” You gasp, looking down at your watch to see you have barely three minutes to make it across the building. Pushing Jaehyun aside, you sprint as fast as you can through the building and bust through the doors just in time. Out of breath with your hair sticking to the light sweat that broke out on your forehead, you’re leaned over trying to catch your breath as you prop your hands on your knees. “Glad you can make it miss y/n.” The sound of Jungwoo’s voice makes you swallow thick, wiping your forehead with your sleeve as you move to grab a seat.

You can practically feel everyone’s eyes on you as you sit down, embarrassed at your unprofessional entrance. You look around the room, noticing the seat next to Jungwoo was empty. You’re about to ask Doyoung, who was sitting beside you who it belonged to before the door opened and caught everyone’s attention. “Sorry for being late everyone, I was caught up in traffic.” The familiar voice sends an uneasy chill down your spine, making your throat go dry and refusing to look in his direction. “No problem Xiaojun, please take a seat and let the meeting begin.” Jungwoo welcomed him, motioning him to the empty spot that was right across from yours.

You could feel his eyes on you, making you feel sick on the stomach. Instead of looking his way, you focused on the projector screen and tried to remain visibly calm and unaffected by his presence, but it was starting to get hard to maintain.

For the rest of the day, you stayed pretty silent and dodged every question that was being asked. You could tell people were worried and tried to be there for you, but the overwhelming shock of seeing him after nearly three years was still so fresh on your unhealed wound. Even Karina tried to keep people away from you just to let you have some space and give you time to collect your thoughts, knowing later on you’d fill her in, which you did. You called her after you left work, telling how uncomfortable it was with him staring you down and how tense the meeting was and how Doyoung pulled you aside and apologized for his unexpected announcement. Doyoung mentioned specifically he’d chew Jungwoo out for not giving him right information about his whereabouts for your sake.

“I can’t believe that happened, that’s something from like a movie.” You sigh, sticking your key into your door and pushing it open, nearly dropping your phone as you scream. Haechan, who you assumed wanted to surprise you, was standing in your living room with a plate that was covered with a metal lid. Taken aback by your reaction, he too screams and unexpectedly drops the plate which ultimately lands on his foot, furthering his scream. You throw your phone aside after telling Karina you’d call her back, scrambling down to a very much in pain Haechan. “Are you okay hyuckie, how bad does it hurt?”

Haechan moved his hands away from his bruised looking foot. You noticed the cut that was bleeding, frowning as you graze your fingers near his wound. “I’m sorry baby, I ruined your dinner.” When you looked up to meet his eyes, you immediately wanted to cry. He looked so soft and sad, like a puppy that was kicked and it broke your heart to see him apologizing over something so small. Okay, maybe it was just the weight of stress from the day that tipped the tears in your eyes to start spilling mixed in with your overly sweet boyfriend in pain apologizing for something that felt like your fault.

After you cleaned his wound up and had him propped up on the couch with a pillow under his foot, you cleaned up the mess it made and took a well-needed shower after. When you got back, you saw Haechan asleep on your couch, looking too peaceful to wake up. Grabbing the blanket from your closet, you gently drape it over him. He stirs a little, blinking up at you with a smile. “Baby, why didn’t you wake me up?” You shake your head, crouching down to hold his hand as you place a soft kiss onto his cheek. “You looked too peaceful to be woken up, plus you need to rest your foot.” He sits up a little, pushing the blanket off as he tries to get off the couch. “I can still walk, I’m not on crushes.”

You shake your head, helping him up and instead of guiding him to the door, you guide him to your room. “Why aren’t we going to my apartment?” He questions, letting you help him into bed. He knows far too well he can walk on his own, he just finds it too cute that you wanna help him around. “You’re staying with me tonight, duh.” After climbing into bed, you snuggle up to him and rest your head on his chest. His arm that you’re laying against is playing with your hair as you relax under his touch. “Wanna talk about it, your day I mean.” If you had a list of all the things you loved about him, near the top would be his attentiveness and how he seems to always know when something is troubling you.

“Maybe in the morning.” He nods, satisfied and way too tired to pry it out of you. Instead, he kisses the crown of your head and closes his eyes. His thoughts are turning and the sleepiness lets his tongue become a little unfiltered before thinking of his own words. “You know, maybe we can do this more if we lived together.” You could hear your heart beating out of your chest, only hoping that he didn’t hear it as well. You decide not to say anything, opting to go to sleep instead.

When morning comes, Haechan was still asleep and damn did he look so cute. You slowly and as quietly as you can get out of bed, get ready for work and leave your apartment with Haechan in it. You did write him a note and left it on the counter for when he wakes up before rushing out the door and praying your day would be better than yesterday. You genuinely had hopes it would, that is until you actually got to work and ran into the one person you were hoping to avoid. Xiaojun was walking just as you were, waving to you as you with return a nod. Trying to rush to the elevator, you’re starting to think the universe genuinely did enjoy shitting on you as Xiaojun made it just in time in the same elevator with you.

“What floor?” Practically spacing out, you didn’t realize he was talking to you until he got closer to you and started waving his hand in front of you. “I’m sorry, what?” For some ungodly reason, he smiles at you and repeats his question. Your tongue goes dry as you tell him and he clicks on it. You want to crawl into a hole and let the earth swallow you up when you see he only clicked on your floor, meaning he too had to get off on that floor. The rest of the ride up was tense and uncomfortably quiet.

Once the doors open, Xiaojun goes to say something and you can almost guess what he’s about to say before you run, literally run, out the elevator and run into your tiny office space and hide. As embarrassing as you probably look, you’re thankful you kept the conversation short and didn’t have to endure any more short talk with him. You pull your phone from your pocket as it starts buzzing, settling in your chair and logging into your computer. You immediately smile at the caller id, swiping right to answer and bring the phone to your ear. “Hi hyuckie.” You can practically hear his smile through the phone as he shifts around in the background. “Hi baby, i like the note you left me.” Smiling a little wider, you start to click open some unanswered emails.

“I’m glad you like it baby, I meant it too, especially the part about taking one of your toes if so much as lift a hand today.” He laughs, taking a bite of what you assume is the food you asked Yangyang to bring him for you. “Yeah yeah, don’t touch my money makers.” You snicker, holding the phone up with your shoulder as you start to reply to emails and sort through the ones that aren’t as urgent. “Anyway, have you thought of what I said last night?”

“Hm, last night?”

“Yeah, about moving in together and stuff.” The timing of his words and the email you just opened triggered a chain reaction to you feeling awfully sick. The email you received from Doyoung was his email that he got from Jungwoo, telling you that you’d have to work on a piece for an up and coming company with—you guessed it—your ex. “Baby? What’s wrong, you went super quiet.” You almost forgot you’re talking to Haechan, clearing your throat as you type a very infuriating reply to the email. “Uhm, sorry I just got distracted, can we maybe talk about this another time, I’m so sorry baby, but I just—I gotta take care of something real quick.”

You miss the defeated tone in Haechan’s voice when he bids you goodbye before hanging up the phone. As if on cue, Doyoung comes flying into your office, giving you the same sympathetic look he gave you just the day before. “Don’t do anything irrational before you send that email.” You push yourself back from your desk, swiveling your chair around to stare up at him furiously. “Are you kidding me, out of all the people in this building I just so happen to be paired up with him?”

“I know and I tried to fight Jungwoo on it, but he said what we were all thinking.” Doyoung threw his hands up in defense, trying to keep you from tearing him apart. “And that is?” You crossed your arms over your chest, waiting for something logical, anything that’ll make you believe there’s nothing to quit you from going to Jungwoo yourself. “You’re the best we have and he’s also very talented, think about it y/n, if you both work on this together—not even together, just you working on the draft and him finalizing it, it’ll give you so much light.” You hated it, you hated how right he was and how sick it made you feel. You hated that you now were forced to have contact with him and you absolutely hated how Haechan would react.

Just as you’re about to tell Doyoung you didn’t care and that there was no way in hell you’d work with Xiaojun, the man himself peaks into your office as Doyoung is leaving. “Hey y/n, can we talk?” You look to Doyoung for help, but instead he waves you goodbye and disappears amongst the crowd of your coworkers. “Uh, sure?” He leans against your desk, picking at his nails as you can only assume he’s trying to find his words. “I assume you got the email and I just wanna say I’m excited to work with you again.” You feel way too many emotions at once and it’s all overwhelming. Thankfully, he doesn’t look at you directly and can’t tell how close you are to crying.

“In celebration of being back, we’re all going out tonight and I wanted to know if you’re coming or not.” You want to say no, you want to scream it from the top of the building and tell him to eat shit for coming back into your life as if nothing happened, as if he didn’t break you, but you pull it together and shrug. “I guess, if Karina goes of course, don’t wanna be with you alone somewhere.” The last part comes out completely by accident and it throws Xiaojun off. He smiles, taking his leave, leaving you to try and filter your thoughts.

The rest of the day goes by relatively normal and you made sure to text Haechan that you were found out with work friends for dinner. To much surprise, he didn’t ask why and told you to have fun. You told him you’d be back not too late and somehow that was the opposite of how the night ended. When you all left work, everyone immediately wanted to get dinner and have a good time. You on the other hand kept close to Karina even though she invited Yangyang. Karina made the promise to stay by you regardless of her state, but two shots into the night and she was off somewhere dancing on tables with her (soon to be)boyfriend cheering her on.

Awkward tension was surrounding you and Xiaojun as people kept congratulating you both on getting such a big story to cover and to be honest, it didn’t feel like a real celebration. By the end of the night, Karina had lost your keys somewhere between the bathroom and the bar she was clinging to. Xiaojun of course had to be the first to offer you a ride home with the drunk (not yet)couple in his backseat and although you wanted to call Haechan, you felt bad if you got him out the comfort of his bed at this ungodly hour. The drive on the other hand was a breeze since Karina and Yangyang kept spewing nonsense and directly talking shit about Xiaojun.

When you pulled up to your apartment, Xiaojun got out of the car as you did, watching you walk towards your building. Turning around due to the feeling of being watched, you saw him leaning against his door. “Why are you watching me, it’s uncomfortable.” He smiled, shaking his head as reopened his door. “Just making sure you get inside safely.” You chose the safest option and turned back around without a word and went up to your apartment. The only thing you wanted right now was to crawl into your bed after an amazingly hot shower and sleep your worries away, instead you were met with a very upset looking Haechan standing at your front door.

“Hi baby.” You mumble, pushing your door open and walking past him. “Who was that?” His question threw you off, turning to him to see him standing in your doorway with furrowed brows. “Who are you talking about?”

“Pretty boy making heart eyes at my girlfriend, the one whose car you got out of?” You could see the hurt written across his face, making you frown. “Baby, he was no one, don’t worry about him.” He scoffs, dropping his crossed arms to run his fingers through his hair. “He’s not one of your coworkers I’ve seen before, so please y/n, just tell me who the hell was that guy.” You’ve never seen him so upset before, his eyes were glossy and yet there was a lingering anger that you could see in his eyes. “He’s my ex boyfriend—I know it looks bad I know, but I can explain perfectly.”

He looks down at his feet, silently waiting for you to give your explanation. “He used to work at the came company, but he ended up moving back home to work at the sister company and we broke up—I promise you hyuck there’s nothing going on between us, he just dropped me off because Karina lost my keys and they all wanted to celebrate him coming back and I didn’t have a ride ho-“

“Why didn’t you call me?” It was all too much, your senses overwhelmed. Both of you were a mess, crying as you each tried to keep it together. “It’s late and you’re hurt and I didn-“

He scoffed, taking a step back and out your front door. “So you take a ride with your ex instead of calling your boyfriend..is he the reason you don’t wanna move in with me?” Shaking your head, you try to reach out for him in hopes he’d let you in, instead he shuts you out and takes another step back. “Please hyuck, I do wanna move in with you, I just can’t.” Everything was happening too fast, Haechan silently went back to his apartment leaving you falling to your knees in tears with your door wide open.

That night, you felt empty inside. It seemed dramatic, but you truly never had such a bad fight with Haechan before. Sure, you two would have small petty fights, but this one ripped your heart right out your chest and all you could think of was how he might leave you. The next morning, you laid in your bed, crying on the pillow Haechan used each time he stayed over. You had already told Doyoung you’d be working from home for the rest of the week, making up an excuse that you were sick and didn’t feel like coming into work and risking everyone else getting it as well. Of course Doyoung wished you a good recovery and told you he’d email you everything you needed.

As the day passed, you laid dormant in your bed while watching the sun rise and fall from its shine through your window. A knock on your front door caught your attention, immediately rushing up from your bed and running through your apartment to answer it. When you opened the door, you were hoping to be met with Haechan, instead you saw Karina holding a duffel bag. “Don’t just stand there, lemme in, it’s cold.” You stepped aside, sniffling as she entered your apartment. You could hear shuffling coming from down the hall, watching Yangyang come up and to Haechan’s door along with Renjun and Mark. They all gave you a sympathetic smile when seeing you nearly break down, knocking on Haechan’s door.

You stood there, waiting for it to open just to get a glimpse. You needed to see him, almost desperate to see him and you wanted nothing more to have him back in your arms. Mark picked his phone from his pocket, answering it and nodding before hanging up his call. “He said it’s unlocked.” Both boys nodded at the other before giving you one last look before they all disappeared into Haechan’s apartment. Karina gently guided you from your door, holding you when you turned into her arms and let it all go.

Not exactly how long you stood by your door crying into her shirt, but being the amazing friend she is, she held you as you let it all out. The stress from work, the stress and pain from being forced to be around Xiaojun and the stress and pain of worrying of losing Haechan was all too much and you finally let it all out. Once you had calmed down, both you and Karina settled in your bed and watched your favorite moves for the rest of the night till you got hungry. “Go shower and I’ll order food.” You could only nod, imagining how bad you smelt from wallowing in your bed all day.

As you got in the shower, Karina ordered your favorite take out and waited till it was delivered. She went to get it from the delivery man when she spotted Haechan coming up to his apartment. Not knowing if she should say hello or not, she paid for the food and stood awkwardly in your doorway. From the looks of it, he looked just as bad as you did. Hair unkept to, clothes inside out and mismatching and he overall looked heartbroken. She started to think he didn’t notice her, until he finally made eye contact. “How..is she?” She too felt her eyes start to sting thinking about you and how softly you tried to cry in the shower when she passed by.

“She’s not herself, but I got her.” He simply nodded, standing in front of his door for a minute. “Karina, did the food come?” Your voice caught both of their attentions, making Karina turn around and shut the door before she caught sight of him. When the door shut, Haechan silently cried as he entered his apartment, being brought into a group hug with the three boys.

A few weeks had passed since your fight with Haechan and both of you were avoiding each other, despite how much you wanted to talk to one another. When he was coming in from work, you’d be opening the door for Karina or leaving to go meet up with Xiaojun for work. I know, meeting with your ex when you and your boyfriend aren’t talking isn’t ideal, but Jungwoo got down your throat about your project and wanted a final draft soon. Karina kept telling you to man up and text him first, be the bigger person and to ‘get it over with’ so she doesn’t have to see you mope around.

In your defense—you tried to text him and every time you did you could see the three little bubbles indicating he was too trying to text you. You always chickened out, waiting for him to finish his text, only to be saddened when the bubbles disappear and your heart breaks all over again. As you’re sitting on your couch binging It’s Okay To Not Be Okay for the fifth time this week, you hear a knock on your door and don’t think much of it. When you get off the couch and finally open the door, to much surprise you don’t see who you expect. Usually when you hear a knock, it’s typically Karina and if she can’t come, she’ll send Yangyang in her place. You were even hoping it’d be Haechan, instead you were met with a very smiley Xiaojun.

You notice the flowers—your favorite flowers in his hand and a bag of what smells like your favorite food. The old you probably would’ve swooned at him standing in front of you, but the person you are now is completely taken aback by his unannounced arrival, more importantly how did he remember where you lived. “What do you want?” Now he looks taken aback, not expecting your reaction. “I uh, can I come in, it’s kinda cold out here.” You relax, leaning against your door frame with arms crossed over your chest. “No, now answer my question.” He takes in a deep breath, swallowing thickly while trying to avoid your gaze.

“Well, it’s our anniver—“

“Was our anniversary, past tense.”

“Yeah, was, um, but I thought you’d like to come out with me, but judging by your absence at work I decided to come to you instead.” Your deadpan expression should give away how you feel, but you almost forget who you’re dealing with. He was the same way when you two dated, completely oblivious to your feelings despite your body language giving it away. “Xiaojun, I’m sorry if you got some mixed signals by me being in your general presence, but I have a boyfriend actually and I’m not really into the douchebag type anymore, sorry.”

He scoffs, dropping his hand that was holding the flowers. “You could’ve just said no, you don’t have to make up having a boyfriend.” You’re not exactly sure how the universe managed to pull this off, but just as Xiaojun was finishing his sentence, Haechan was walking up to his door with Yangyang and Mark. “Actually, that’s my boyfriend right there, wave hi.” You point to Haechan who was confused seeing you and your ex staring at him. “Who, the one with blonde hair?” You visibly gag, shaking your head while Mark snickers at the very offended Yangyang. “Ew, no, the brunette, that’s the boyfriend, so sorry, bye bye now.” You give Xiaojun a little shove away from your door, pushing him a little further before going back into your apartment.

You almost miss the look Haechan is giving you, making your stomach turn upside down with butterflies that cry out for him. Something inside tells you to stay, to hope he comes over and scoops you up and kisses you to make up for each kiss he missed out, but you choose to hold it together and shut your door before you completely break down all over again.

Another long week passed with no word from Haechan and you’re starting to think he’s never going to talk to you again. By the end of the week, you’re fed up with it all. You’re over the silence from his end and the avoided eye contact in the hall when passing one another, you’re especially over spending your first year anniversary alone in bed in the morning. Thankfully it was a weekend and you didn’t have to go into work with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks, opting to finally confront Haechan and sort through the shit show your relationship has come to.

Sometime between crying to old Taylor Swift songs and brushing your teeth, you go over what you want to say to him in case he breaks up with you and the thought leaves a bitter taste on your tongue that the brush cannot get rid of. You finish getting ready for the day, taking your time to eat breakfast in hopes that it all goes well. Karina had called earlier, trying to give you a pep-talk and hype you up, but she only added fuel to your nervousness. Deciding to stop stalling anymore, you leave your apartment and stand frozen in front of Haechan’s door. The butterflies in your stomach are beating against you, rushing around to be set free.

With a deep breath, you knock on his door and await in the background noise of the city. After some shuffling, you see Haechan swing the door open and you feel your knees giving in just by the sight of him. His hair has been trimmed, combed nicely and parted even with what you assume is styling gel. He was wearing some of his nicer clothes in his closet, no suit and tie, but more of his favorite jeans and a shirt that complements both his shirt and skin tone. He has his shoes on, as if he was about leave and part of you is terrified to know where he was going. “Go back home, you’re not supposed to be here.”

Now you’re a little taken aback by him, furrowing your brows as he immediately realizes how harsh that sounds. “No, no not like that—I mean I had things planned and I was supposed to come to you and it was supposed to be roman—“ As expected, you completely melt as he tries to explain and instead of staring at him like he’s an idiot—(he is but he’s your idiot)—you pull on his collar and take him into a very awaited kiss. Haechan is just as surprised as you are, hesitating a little before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his apartment to hold you closer.

The two of you share an intimate and very much missed kiss, holding one another until you’re both out of breath and pull back. “I missed you hyuck.” You couldn’t see the goofy boyish smile he had, his heart doing flips in his chest at the use of the nickname. “I missed you even more baby, I promise I’ll never go that long without you again, I mean it baby.” Letting out the breath of relief, you took this moment to re-familiarize yourself with Haechan. His touch was still the same, gentle yet firm when he held you. His lips were still as soft as ever, a little dry—but a few swipes of chapstick never hurt anyone.

“I think we should talk about this all, I really do—but I have a surprise first.” You look up at him, smiling as he grabs both of your hands and leads you out of his apartment. “Where are we going?” He shakes his head at you, wiggling his finger after making sure his door was locked. “It’s a surprise woman, don’t ask me questions I can’t answer.” You roll your eyes at him, sticking your tongue out to which he blows a kiss. Following him down to his car, you both get in and head out for whatever his surprise was. You start to look around, heading just a little further down in the city to an area that was somewhat familiar.

“Alright, we’re here.” Once he parked the car, both you and Haechan got out of the car and he took your hand into his. Giving his hand a squeeze, he returned the squeeze with a smile. “You look beautiful by the way, especially when you’re telling your ex off.” You snicker, rolling your eyes at him while following alongside. The two of you walk up to a cafe door, Haechan covering your eyes with one hand as he pulls the door open. “Okay, now take a couple steps forward—but be careful not to fall, I cannot afford to spend our first anniversary at the hospital.”

“And if I do, don’t judge me.” He only smiles, coming in behind you as he still holds his hands over your eyes. You can feel how close he’s gotten, his breath fanning your neck as he drops his hand and you finally take in everything. There were rose petals scattered all over the floor of the cafe that the two of you first met, all leading to the table you were seated that day and circling around it. On the table was your favorite dinner from a chain restaurant that you two ordered on your first official date and along the wall are polaroids you took at the reception of Johnny’s wedding.

Tears began to swell in your eyes, turning around to pull him close and peck small kisses all over his face. He holds your waist, taking in the affection he missed so much. “I know we have a lot to talk about and a lot of explaining to do for the distance between us these last few week, but right now I just want you to know I love you, I’m head over heels in love with you and I wouldn’t have asked for anyone else to want to spend my life with.”

“We’ll talk about that later, for now, I just wanna be with you.” Haechan didn’t have any problem with that, leading you over to the table where you two sat and ate and talked for hours. He told you about how the boys tried to cheer him up and even helped him rent the cafe out for the day—which was very expensive, he mentioned. You told him the full backstory about Xiaojun and Haechan fully understood why you didn’t want him around. Regardless of him being your ex, the two of you were just no good and created a bad environment for you to be in. For the rest of the night, you both danced around the cafe to music Haechan could sing on the spot and had the best night to end your perfectly imperfect first anniversary.

©︎𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍., 2022

[punk-octo]

Soldier 11 and Anby Theory

So there's a lot of Solider 11 and Anby theories going around and as anbys #1 fan I feel like I should add my input.

So I'm personally under the assumption that anby and soldier 11 are identical twins (the clone theory is compelling though and there are most likely at least 11 of them. I feel like it wouldn't change my theory though) and they most likely grew up together in a military structure to be soldiers, this much we can assume based off of the general behaviors of both soldier 11 and anby and what we learn from soldier 11's backstory. I'm assuming that due to their very similar fighting style and weapons that it was most likely a situation where there was a soldier of each 'element' (maybe more soldiers in the future with ether and ice? We'll see) anyways...

Anby has a specific line of dialogue where she references that she "can't save anyone." Soldier 11 has multiple instances where she talks about hating traitors and people who abandon the obol squad/her in general. The amount of personal hatred behind this makes me believe that she has personal experience/trauma of being abandoned by someone she loves.

OK ACTUAL THEORY TIME

Due to Anby's dialogue and Soldier 11's backstory, I believe there was an instance where Anby and Soldier 11 we're on a squad together (and extremely close as sisters or 'sisters') and Anby got the idea that she should leave to live her own life. Whether or not Soldier 11 also shared this idea isn't really relevant. So while Anby was sharing this idea with Soldier 11 and they began arguing OR when they were trying to escape together (most likely the former imo), they were attack which lead to them being separated.

Anby believes that Soldier 11 was killed in action and she couldn't save her (hence the can't save anyone line). Due to not wanting to be faced with her sister's death or just due to not also wanting to be killed, she ran away.

Soldier 11 was in fact not dead (duh) but saw anby running away and believes that Anby left her for dead and betrayed her, a thought most likely encouraged by her superiors.

So tldr anby believes soldier 11 is dead and its her fault and soldier 11 believes that anby abandoned her.

And that's my theory, sorry if there's any typos I'm on mobile. I'll come back to this when their connect is revealed to see how right I was

Babygirls ^

[mayordeas-clone]

saw a take that peeved me in the vocaloid feed on bluesky but i don’t wanna be confrontational there + my thoughts are too powerful for a 300 character per post thread so im making it tumblr’s problem

due to my intense vsynth brainworms this is going to sound incredibly pedantic and annoying which is why i am posting it here okay here we go

the post was sort of a ‘callout’ of a creator who uses synthv for covers of fnf songs or whatever. the general body was like “they write their own lyrics but they make the vocals using ai with a program called synthesizer v” (the implication being, “this person is an ai-using fraud, don’t support them”)

if ur in the community or like have a little bit of an idea of how ai is associated with synthv specifically this is a nonsense uninformed take (the ‘ai’ training is used for autotuning/cross language synthesis/some other shit idk but the point is it’s not the type of ai that like, writes the melody/lyrics for you and is voiced from random samples from unknowing providers but i’ll get back to this later)

ai is mentioned on synthv’s website (also vocaloid’s much to the detriment of news articles that report on hatsune miku) so it’s a common misunderstanding, whatever. it would be nice if people actually looked into the ways ai works in vsynth at least a little bit but in an age where artists are on the defense against the ai boogeyman i guess i sorta understand the knee jerk reaction to assume the ai in vsynth software like synthv is the Bad kind. annoying, but nothing new.

but i think what made this post rotate in my mind to the point of crystallizing into unnecessary rage is an add-on that was like “i just prefer my music to be sung by real people!” followed by “by the way, vocaloid isn’t ai, so no you’re not bad if you like hatsune miku music”

ohhh man this actually did piss me off a little cuz wow way to really shout to the heavens that you have no damn clue what you’re talking about

firstly, i COMPLETELYYYY understand that the premise and general sound of vocal synth music is not for everyone. the computerized words, the unrealism, or even the fact that it’s not an actual person singing, like whatever that’s fine i get it. but like you can’t go around and be like “by the way vocaloid [aka hatsune miku] is chill don’t worryyyy” bc that line of thinking from my understanding doesn’t really make sense? miku isn’t a real person either 😭😭 her latest release even uses ai! (at least i think it does cuz vocaloid 6 has ai support but idk i guess that doesn’t matter) does she just get a free pass cuz she’s an internet darling?

miku is a piece of software where you write the midi for her vocals and input the lyrics so a slurry of samples recorded by saki fujita can be played back in an in-character singing voice. synthv is a piece of software with similar character voice databases where you do the same thing, write a midi and input lyrics so a database’s voice samples put it all together to sing back. the inclusion of ai in this process is to streamline the workflow for the user to automatically work out the pitch transitions between notes to save on time manually tuning, creating a more realistic playback. this ai, perhaps merely the inclusion of these two letters in the proximity of synthv’s marketing, is what makes synthv both Significantly Different and Inferior to miku.

the lack of ai with vocaloid (as far as op knew, cuz need i remind you vocaloid as of its 6th installment uses similar ai to synthv lol) making it Better than synthv sent the implication, TO ME, that op thinks that the ai used in synthv is the type that like, takes samples from other people without their permission to create the voices (then leading to the “i just want my songs sung by REAL people” aka not sung by dubiously gathered samples). i recognize this means of creating ai voices to impersonate other people and make them say things they should not without their knowledge or permission is CERTAINLY bad but like that’s not how any of this works if we’re talking synthv (you could argue this applies to those utau banks that make voicebanks for like sonic the hedgehog and shit but those usually sound like ass and are about as convincing as a sentence mixed youtube poop). maybe that’s not what they meant (i don’t wanna dig up the post cuz i don’t wanna be bothered and it’s probably gonna piss me off to the point of starting something which i don’t want) but based on my understanding of their point this is like. wholly untrue. in fact synthv voicebanks (particularly those from eclipsed sounds whose terms of service are free to read on their website) have special terms specifically designed to protect the voice providers of their databases BECAUSE of the extra realism in their voices (terms such as, “you can’t credit any voice work done with Solaria to Emma Rowley [her voice provider] or anyone else besides the software itself” in the case Solaria is used to say something objectionable and cast it on Rowley, that would be a breach of the terms and might even get your license revoked). shit like that is likely what people who are afraid of ai voices expect to happen but there were contracts signed to protect and inform the voice providers of what their vocal likeness is being used for + compensation paid to them for their work providing vocal samples SPECIFICALLY for this product. and ofc miku is the same. ITS THE SAME. BUT MIKU IS A FUNNY INTERNET MEME SO SHES FINE. GRRRRR!!!!!!

[hematomes]

Hey! I'm the anon who talked about how the whole Traveller getting mad at Fontaine twins scenario got spread like wildfire on social media. Just call me Kina for now.

There's something I wanted to add but didn't because my rant was long:

While the twins (and Freminet) aren't bad people (as far as we know), I do find it hilarious that everyone is salty over Aether/Lumine getting angry when anybody, no matter how understanding, will feel very frustrated, conflicted and confused about learning that someone who's been so sincere towards you turns out to be apart of a dangerous group that's responsible for something going wrong in your journey.

Also, Diluc's allowed to hate the Fatui (for very good reason) but the Traveller? No, no, no. Their the protagonist, their supposed to be understanding and everyone's buddy. What a fucking bs reason to justify demonizing Traveller.

i got some insight from the other side and they gave some understandable argument, although it still didn't really make sense to me

from what i understood, the "problem" (for a small minority of people who whine about it, imo. the one side i could picture actually) lies in the inconsistency, specifically when you put the fontaine situation side by side with the one back in inazuma

i could see how it's mildly frustrating to have a main character that is inconsistent on a logical level: being harsh when faced with a lie vs forgiving a character that embodies fanservice (ei) in the blink of an eye despite the fact that she subjected her people to countless horrors and civil wars

to this i say, not unkindly: suck it up. the inazuma archon quest was a shit show, we are finally back on something that MAKES sense and to me personally, that's what matters. id rather keep with an unforgiving traveler that has seen too much now to be too kind (let's however not forget that they offered to be the attorney for the very same people that lied to them lol) and not on their guard. it's what i would call character development - just like how they're more wary when it comes to the archons, thanks to input they got from dainsleif (among other things, like the abyss twin's input for example)

maybe im optimistic in the sense that i have decided to ignore the mishaps and focus on what i enjoy, which is messy yet coherent travels and decisions. let the traveler change, make mistakes, whether that's intentional or due to past poor writing management. maybe im also sentimental, but i like seeing humanity in the character, pouring from the writers' very own: errors, mistakes, whatever

it doesn't make sense? does it absolutely has to? does it really not make sense? i disagree. i like where it's going, and you, like some of us, are providing solid reasons as to why it just works, despite how frustrating it may be to see the main character being insufferable to you. let's use that as a reminder that aether and lumine aren't actual self-inserts

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

I disagree with your post because I’m a reader. I can’t block the tags, I want the x reader tags to be filled with x reader fics so I can go and read it, and I want the general tags to be general fandom posts pictures and gifs.

Proper tagging is a legitimate complaint, going to a general fandom tag and seeing only fics when I don’t want to read is annoying.

Then your complaint should be with Tumblr's search system and the fact that they input an algorithm (and with the new post type that they input), not with people who write and post fanfiction.

I have never seen this complaint about fan art. I have never seen this complaint about memes or discussion posts. I have never seen people ask to get fan art off of "general fandom tags". General fandom tags are for posts about that fandom. That means fanfiction. Because GASP fanfiction - including x reader fanfiction - is a part of fandom. So it is a part of "general fandom tags". It belongs there.

If you want to complain that someone tags fanfiction with a character that it's not about- fine. That is annoying. If you want to complain when someone only uses the general fandom tag and doesn't tag their fic with "(character) x reader" or (fandom name) fanfiction" so that you can block the tags - that is also annoying and you should either block that person or ask them to add tags to it so that you can block their posts better.

The major problem came when Tumblr input the post type that combined all post types together, meaning that all post formats are now technically one.

And I am not the only person who had a problem with this - gif editors also have a major problem with this. Because before, you could choose to specifically post something as a text post or a gif post, etc. and that meant that filtering posts by type actually meant something. So if you wanted to view text posts (which, on fandom tags is primarily fanfiction) then you could filter by the text post type. But if you wanted to view gifsets, then you could filter by the gif text post type.

Now that all post types are lumped into one, fanfiction that has any photos or images on it, even if it just an image divider, automatically comes up when filtering by the photo type. (And this switch to all post types being in one was largely due to the large influx of mobile only users that surged during the pandemic in 2020, so... thanks for that.)

(This also means that any photo with a text caption comes up when you filter by text... which is so fucking tiring.)

Your true annoyance is with Tumblr's search format, not with writers.

If you want to look for gifs from a certain fandom - go to gif makers' blogs. Follow great gifmakers when you find them. That is how I always find and reblog awesome gifsets. I learned to stop looking in the tags years ago. Tumblr's search system has been hell since they ditched chronological order.

Also, since you claim to be a "reader" - you are part of the problem in your own search results because Tumblr does use some algorithmic tools to tune your search results, including posts you have interacted with in the past and tags you might follow (so if you follow x reader tags, then you are more likely to get x reader fics higher in your search results).

I am generally pissed off by the notion that the onus is always on fanfiction writers - especially if our work is considered "cringe" or lesser - to stay quietly in our own quiet corralled off little corner until we are called upon to serve people with our work for free, and we usually will not be thanked for doing so. And we are constantly getting shit on for not 'tagging correctly' (the whole 'surprise watersports' meme still makes me grind my teeth) - as if we aren't welcome in The General Fandom when we make up a very large percentage of it.

I am just so tired of being told that as a writer who contributes to fandom in every way and has for years - I am an annoyance and I still don't belong at the fucking table. And my writing is (supposedly) the cheap TV dinner of all literature when in reality it is a five star meal at a restaurant that so few people even bother to book a reservation at.

Fanfiction - yes, even the cringey het x reader ones - does belong in general fandom tags. Fanfiction writers are a part of fandom, whether people like it or not.

[elgatorapidprototyping]

Brick Breaker Game Concept

If I were to continue with this prototype and develop a game out of it I would first focus on the artistic artstyle of the prototype so that I can later on develop more mechanics without needing to worry about this too much. My current idea for the artstyle of the game would be to have the background not be blank and use a city landscape of it. I would use a minimalistic "city" landscape in the background made up of majorly squares and shadows, I feel like this would allow the game to feel relaxing in its own way.

With the current state of the brick breaking games, I would tone down on the glow just a little and add the backgrounds in which would help a lot. But, what I really would like to do if I were to make this game is transform the cubes to not be in such a boring lineup. I would reorganize the bricks and add multiple color variations to them in order to reach a certain shape somewhat like pixel art.

EG: I would reorganize the bricks in such a way so that the bricks resemble the face of a cat which would add a lot more variations to my game. I would do this across multiple levels with multiple different variations of things such as cats/dogs/cars/food and any random object that I could think of. I feel like this would make the game feel more creative and alive rather than have a bunch of bland dull looking bricks in the middle of the screen. Alongside all of this, I would like to add relaxing music within my game rather than some intense one. I would add sound effects to the bat hitting the ball but make them subtle as well as sound effects as the ball hits the bricks but it would not be too loud or distracting just enough to be satisfying. I would use the sound of little taps which would keep the game simplistic and for the background music of the game I would love to add some relaxing music that somewhat fits within the lo-fi genre if possible. I want to make this game as relaxing as possible.

As well as all of this the game would require a bunch more mechanics. the mechanics that I would love to implement but I will need to see how the time allows me and what I am able to do would be to add mechanics like: speeding up time. Speeding up the time within this game would be necessary due to the fact that the ball sometimes gets stuck at a certain angle as it bounces therefore leading to the player needing to wait an eternity before they are able to actually allow any input in or hit any of the bricks. I would also love for the game to have powerups such as- more balls spawn - bigger balls- bigger bat- explosions and much more. These powerups would fall down from the destroyed bricks and be able to be collected by the player to utilize and would turn on upon collection. I would have the chance of about 1/4 bricks having a powerup which would keep the game somewhat balanced and not take away much of the player input and make them too overpowered but I think this would be a nice addition.

In addition to all of this I would like to change the designs of the bat and ball, I have not yet decided what I would change them into but one of my main ideas as of right now would be to do something similar to nyan cat where the bat is the cat and the ball would be rainbows shot out. I would aim to make this game as relaxing as possible as well as making it as random as possible so that the player can never expect what happens next.

Edit 25/05/2024: I have decided to go with the brick breaker prototype after all. In terms of what I will be doing for this project it will mainly be artwork and I will add some features/mechanics if I come up with anything along the way as of right now I have a couple ideas but don't feel like I need to hurry and implement them. For this week I will mainly focus on creating artwork as well due to the fact that my Harddrive has broken and I need to wait for it to be repaired and that was where my game files were stored.

[reasoningdaily]

In this week’s Bienkov Briefing

RISHI SUNAK’S NEW BREXIT SLEIGHT OF HAND

DOWNING STREET DODGES CONFLICT OF INTEREST QUESTIONS

EXCLUSIVE BYLINE POLL: VOTERS BACK CANNABIS LEGALISATION

VOTERS SAY LABOUR BEST ON CRIME AND IMMIGRATION

Rishi Sunak announced with great fanfare overnight that the UK has unleashed the “benefits of Brexit” by signing a new trade deal with Pacific nations.

“As part of CPTPP, the UK is now in a prime position in the global economy to seize opportunities for new jobs, growth and innovation," the Prime Minister said.

However, a quick look at the details of the deal reveal that these supposed “benefits of Brexit” are entirely non-existent.

In reality the UK already has free trade deals in place with nine of the 11 countries included in the partnership. 

And while the UK does conduct significant trade with some of these nations, the sheer distances involved means that any potential benefits from this deal entirely pale in comparison to the huge amount of trade and growth we have lost by leaving the EU.

In fact according to the UK Government’s own figures, the CPTPP will add just 0.08% to the size of Britain’s economy over ten years. This compares to the estimated 4% that the UK is set to lose due to leaving the EU.

And unlike the EU Single Market, whose operation we had direct democratic input over through the European Parliament, the operation of the CPTPP will remain almost entirely outside of British voters’ control.

So far from being a net “benefit of Brexit”, this deal merely demonstrates how much we have lost by exchanging our previous close trading relations with our nearest and largest market, for much looser relations with smaller markets on the other side of the world.

And as with pretty much every other claimed benefit of leaving the EU, Sunak’s latest claims fail to stand up to even the mildest of scrutiny.

When the Prime Minister was asked this week whether he had any conflicts of interest he needed to declare around his decision to hand big new subsidies to childcare agencies, he replied, “No, all my disclosures are declared in the normal way."

We now know this was a lie. Within hours the I Newspaper had revealed that he did in fact have a massive conflict of interest due to his wife holding shares in one of the companies most set to benefit from the subsidies.

It has also since emerged that representatives from the same company his family are benefiting from, attended an event inside Downing Street just a few days ago.

On Wednesday I asked Sunak’s spokesperson directly why he had failed to declare this massive conflict of interest. Here is a transcript of the exchange.

As you can read, the responses from Sunak’s spokesperson reveal the absurd lengths to which his operation have gone to in order to hide from the “accountability” that the Prime Minister previously promised he would personally champion.

Rather than face up to the simple fact that Sunak had a massive conflict of interest which he failed to declare, Downing Street instead insist he has followed the rules “to the letter”, while ignoring all of the evidence that he quite obviously has not.

As with the latest deceptive claims about the “benefits of Brexit” the promised new era of “accountability” under this Prime Minister is looking increasingly like a mirage.

The Government this week confirmed plans to ban the recreational use of laughing gas, despite being advised by its own advisory council that doing so would be “disproportionate” and lead to adverse social harms.

New polling commissioned by the Byline Supplement suggests that the move is likely to be popular. According to Omnisis 73% of voters support the ban, with just 14% disagreeing.

However, while voters clearly want an end to the presence on the streets of the little canisters associated with the gas, they take a notably different attitude when it comes to cannabis.

According to our poll, a majority of UK voters now support the full legalisation of cannabis, with 55% saying it should be legalised, compared to just 32% who disagree.

Support for legalisation is strongest among under 40s, but remains strong among all age groups, with the single exception of voters over the age of 75.

Even Conservative party voters are more likely to back legalisation than oppose it, with just 40% saying they would not like to see it legalised. There is also little divide between Leave and Remain voters, with both groups almost equally backing cannabis legalisation.

Voters also take a much more measured approach when it comes to the question of which illegal and legal substances are most harmful.

Asked to pick which of a list of various substances were most harmful to public health and society, cocaine was the substance most picked by voters, followed by alcohol and then tobacco. Cannabis was next on the list, with laughing gas firmly in last place with just 6% of voters saying it was the most harmful substance.

Our poll also found little support for the Government’s overall record on dealing with crime and anti-social behaviour.

Almost half of voters said that anti-social behaviour had got worse in their local area over the past five years, compared to just 12% who said it had decreased.

Meanwhile, when asked to choose which of the two major parties would be best at dealing with the issue, 43% picked Labour, compared to just 25% who picked the Conservative Party.

This comes on top of other polling commissioned by Byline this week, showing that voters also believe Labour would be best at dealing with the issue of immigration.

The poll also found little support for the Home Secretary herself, with just 15% of voters saying they approve of the job Suella Braverman is doing.

[miraculouscontent]

Not really directed at anything specifically, more just based on things I’ve heard from friends and what they say others are talking about. Just needed to get this off my chest.

So... “Syren” airs, and Chat Noir gets upset by a secret that is neither Plagg’s nor Ladybug’s to tell. Both the fandom and the show/writers think he is right for doing this, even as he threatens to quit while Paris drowns if not told the secret. He is ultimately rewarded in the end with the secret because, according to one of the writers, “Chat was correct and deserved to know.”

Later down the line, “Truth” gets a synopsis.

It hasn’t aired, it simply gets a synopsis (I must also add that a previous synopsis in the same season had been wrong).

Based on said synopsis, the fandom gets riled up about Luka supposedly being upset by a secret Marinette is keeping (her identity), going on about how he “doesn’t have a right to Marinette’s secret,” “is being extremely entitled,” and “doesn’t deserve to know Marinette’s identity,” as it is “Marinette’s right” to tell whoever she wants.

In truth, the actual episode features Luka struggling and fighting against the akuma, because he actually believes that he is not, in fact, entitled to Marinette’s secret, wanting her to share it rather than it being forced out of her. He is then “punished” for this when the show has the couple break up due to Marinette believing that she’s not allowed to have a boyfriend, all thanks to her secrets. Nevertheless, Luka maintains his previous stance and wants Marinette to tell him things whenever she’s ready to do so.

“Gang of Secrets” airs two episodes later, featuring the exact opposite philosophy. Over the phone, Marinette’s friends claim that they want her to talk with them when she’s ready, only to barrel into her room minutes later and insist that she talk to them. She refuses, kicking them out, and they get akumatized without resistance in order to force her to tell them her secret. After the fact, without so much as an on-screen apology from them, Marinette folds and talks about (some of) her problems. This also features another “whenever you’re ready” from Alix that may or may not be a simple joke given how the group laughs at it. Once all but Alya and Marinette are left in the room, Marinette has a mental breakdown and gives Alya her most precious secret: her identity as Ladybug.

Upon this episode airing, the fandom is upset at Marinette, not for telling her secret, but for not telling Chat Noir her secret instead of Alya, because Chat deserved her secret. This is also after “Chat Blanc,” where Marinette is aware that “her love with Chat” and Chat knowing her identity nearly led to the end of the world, and it is later confirmed in “Sentibubbler” that Marinette has actual trauma over the moment, never made aware of the specific mistake Chat made (i.e: keeping his knowledge of her identity a secret) that caused the issue in the first place, thus leaving her with all of the blame as the timeline is scrubbed away and Adrien is left with no actual lesson, even from Bunnix who could’ve chided him for his priority on love over safety. Chat received no consequences for this (not remembering his time as an akuma) and was even rewarded for his erased-from-time decisions as Ladybug laid her head on his shoulder, happy to have him back after the nightmare she’d lived where everyone was dead because her partner prioritized dating her over telling her that he knew her identity, despite her repeated stressing that no one must know.

(”Glaciator” also follows this formula, forcing Ladybug to apologize first and then having her blush when Chat kisses her cheek after he’d put up a huff mid-battle, while Marinette is blamed both for Andre’s akumatization and not going to a date that she didn’t promise to go to.)

Cut to some time later, when “Crocoduel” airs. Marinette, believing that she only causes problems for Luka and that he would rather be away from his own birthday party than be around the girl who “broke his heart” and “got him akumatized twice” (the first time being Silencer, something that apparently she, Alya, and the show blame her for), asks Juleka in private to make sure Luka isn’t present at the party. She later apologizes for this, admitting that she was unreasonable in her request.

The fandom proceeds to go off on Marinette, stating that she is selfish and that Luka “deserves better.” This is in direct contrast to episodes that feature Marinette/Ladybug apparently slighting Adrien/Chat (according to the fandom), where rejection is not wished on the ship itself, but rather a desire that Marinette/Ladybug apologize to Adrien/Chat and repent for her sins so that he can be happy and they can get together.

Interestingly enough, complete radio silence is given on the friends who had forced Marinette to go to the event in the first place (and also had supposed “whenever you’re ready” development in “Gang of Secrets”), not consulting with Luka on the matter nor considering what either would want, and only asking for Juleka’s permission in what is essentially an afterthought (having made plans without her input first). This is made doubly “interesting” by the fact that the action of said friends is what leads to the supposed “end of Lukanette,” with them officially confirming becoming friends.

Finally, cut to the most recent episode (at the time of writing this), “Wishmaker.” In this episode, through two different instances of Second Chance, Luka discovers the identities of both Ladybug and Chat Noir, shocked and later saddened by both revelations. When asked by Ladybug, he makes the decision to not tell her that he knows anything, though the current reason for this is unknown.

The fandom, once again, goes up in arms. They are upset by Luka’s lie (to a hero who he now knows is extremely stressed about her future and needs little else to worry about) regardless of whatever the reason may or may not be revealed to be. This is a far cry from the “golden boy” Adrien Agreste, who has not only lied (whether by omission or otherwise) on multiple occasions (”Copycat,” “Miraculous New York,” and “Chat Blanc”), but when Ladybug’s identity was put into his hands (the hands of a permanent hero who has one of the two exact miraculouses wanted by Hawk Moth), he chose not to say anything so he could date her.

Neither had a magical charm to protect them while one of them had a rabbit hero to erase his actions as if that removes what he would’ve done if given the chance, while Ladybug is left with the guilt and trauma. Both were told that identities are precious, and one lies for reasons riddled with ambiguity while the other lies in order to date the person who has already rejected one side of himself. One is a “threat” to the endgame ship and is either sympathized with or criticized depending on what will make his own ship look worse (and whose likeability seems to coincide by how “threatening” he is and what importance he receives in comparison to his “competition”), while the other is part of the endgame ship and is treated accordingly by the show and fanbase, his actions defended and validated while the blame falls on the other side of his ship.

In the end, Marinette and Luka are dealt an equally bad hand, and both are dealing with consequences of Adrien’s actions. Adrien had gotten to peacefully date “Ladybug” in a removed timeline because he selfishly kept a secret (and, again, was ultimately rewarded for it), while Marinette suffered dating Luka because she selflessly kept a secret (leading to him being akuamtized and her to nearly have a mental breakdown). Luka, meanwhile, who has had a track record of being incredibly selfless and having a history of always keeping Marinette’s feelings/best interests in mind, now knows both Ladybug and Chat Noir’s identities, and the latter being because Chat Noir let himself get hit by the akuma’s powers in the first place.

Yet it’s Luka who gets heat, and Marinette who gets heat, while Adrien isn’t even so much as on the back burner.

Isn’t history fun?

[doomednarrative]

Not the same person who asked for those fic recs but wanted to talk about those fics with you!!!!! I think the ways these fics treat Hoffman vs Strahm is so interesting, especially because a lot of them end in a lot of them actually ending up together: ie Dating Tips and Street Cats. But Dies At The End does NOT have that ending, and it is probably because of how it has a darker tone. Even saying that I feel like it is kind of interesting because both Dies At The End and Dating Tips have perhaps the most, inner dialogue of Strahm. Also both Dies At The End and Dating Tips have this sense of loneliness in them that Street Cats just does NOT. Street Cats seems the most, vibrant and expansive universe of them all due to the fact that Strahm is just not lonely in them. He talks to people and he interacts with them and he like, actually has people that Strahm can talk to. It makes him more well rounded and able to realize what his choices are and what he wants them to be. Strahm also has choices in Dating Tips, but he’s still lonely and has no one to really turn to. He is isolated and just gnawing at himself from the inside out. Dies At The End has him isolated AND without choices which is extra interesting because he is literally doomed by the narrative by the title, you know he is going to die there is no way he is going to live, so anything he does is futile and that leads to the isolation he has! The way Dating Tips treats Hoffman actually is really interesting now that I think of it because Dating Tips starts as very comedic and funny, and it still is very funny throughout but the source of comedy seems to come FROM Hoffman, and the more time spent with Strahm alone the more neurotic he is. Strahm actually seems the MOST, neurotic in Dating Tips for some reason probably because he knows he can leave the situation but he has nowhere to go to. But Hoffman stands as this looming figure not even as a threat, just more as a bad decision and it is so funny. I don’t know if the Dating Tips writer even sees Hoffman seriously within their own narrative just based on how they treat the two but it works. Compared to Hoffman in Dies At The End who is such a threat and is treated as such the entire time but the danger and fear and isolation is kind of what makes him compelling. Ok I’m done saying all this stream of consciousness writing thoughts, I wish I had all these writers on a panel or something and ask them their thoughts on both the characters and the way that they write them vs the ways these other people write them. I kind of want to know what the Dies At The End writer and Dating Tips writer think of each other’s writing because they are just the most differently tonally, but the way they both have the most inner thoughts of Strahm in almost a similar manner is kinda interesting, I wonder if they know each other. 

Okay I will get to your thoughts here in a moment and add my own feedback because I do have things to say here too! But I wanted to say that A. I'm mutuals with both authors! @carouselcometh wrote "Cosmo" and @romanromulus wrote "Strahm Dies"! and B. I'm pretty sure I did see Remy say somewhere that "Strahm Dies" did give them some inspo for "Cosmo"! If either of them want to add their input on this post or if you anon want to direct questions to them, feel free to! I'm personally always down to hear y'alls thoughts on your writing choices anyways, it helps me when doing my own writing for Strahm too~

Your comments re the nature of Strahm in Street Cats vs the other fics, I totally agree! I think Street Cats in general, as well as most of Doztoevsky's fics are more lighthearted when it comes to dealing with Strahm overall. That's not to say they don't also include some great meta for him in their work because they absolutely do, but it's a much different take on Strahm than a lot of other works! I think some of that honestly comes from the fact that Street Cats in particular is taken Outside of the canon timeline too. It's mostly set in the post canon timeline, so it has room to Breathe and explore plotlines and settings outside of jigsaw city, and that gives both Strahm and Hoffman a chance to show different colors yknow?

Cosmo and Strahm Dies meanwhile are pretty based within the canon timeline confines, and they do keep Strahm separate from any other human connections he might have been able to have, so that sense of loneliness is amped up and ever present in a way that pervades the Whole narrative. The reader truly is Strahm's only friend in that sense, and he doesn't know we're there! He's just alone in his own mind, slowly losing himself to his neurosis, especially in Strahm Dies considering he knows after a point that he's not getting out of here. He submits to his fate in the end, and so he submits to loneliness and isolation in full.

Re Hoffman in Cosmo, yeah that's exactly what I meant in my original post!! From what I've seen of Remy's other posts, I'm pretty sure they do take Hoffman a bit more at comedic value than as a serious threat, which is fair tbh. The canon of the movies can't seem to decide how serious of a threat he would be and he does do some pretty stupid shit at times, so having him be more of a comedic source is a great take on him if you ask me. Strahm Dies meanwhile does make him more completely into a threatening force, which tbh gave me some food for thought to chew on with my own writing too. I think in a more fleshed out canon we could have gotten a more solidly threatening Hoffman, and it is something I would have loved to see with the glimpses we Did get, so seeing that so thoroughly played out (and then contradicted too with Strahm's last dream in chapter 4!!) was really interesting!! I do prefer a mix of both things honestly, I strive for a balance between terrifyingly capable of hurting people and somewhat of a bumbling idiot at times for Hoffman, it feels a bit more natural to write him that way for my purposes. But in the case of both these fics taking different extremes, its a fun read and I loved seeing how it all played out in the end.

Honestly I think my favorite thing in all these fics is just seeing How they push Strahm when he makes the choices he does. Remy writes him in a very frantic and neurotic way that honestly I could understand really well and captivated me from the very beginning. Adam meanwhile wrote him in Strahm Dies as a very frighteningly realistic portrayal of a man who's terrified and losing his damn mind from being kidnapped and subsequently abused and mistreated, and like. That narrative hit hard enough to match some of my own personal trauma that I Knew exactly what Strahm was feeling, and it felt Very real to me to read how Adam had written his reactions and internal thoughts. Doztoevsky meanwhile has Strahm combating himself internally with his choice to be happy in a relationship where he still can't 100% fully commit even with his best efforts (all the times he has to forcefully push away the reality of the things Hoffman's done to make himself comfortable where he is with him even if it's where he Wants to be realistically.) I live for narratives like that. You can't take Strahm's sense of justice and morality away from him, it's a very core tenant of his character, and so writing him with Hoffman in a relationship where he's Always going to struggle with those things even if he's actively choosing to be in said relationship is really really good!

Overall I'm just...god I agree with all the meta that you said in your ask, and I love these fics so much for such different reasons. Remy and Adam, I know yall will see this so just let it be said again that I love both your works, and I really think yall did an amazing job with your respective fics <3

[shihalyfie]

Regarding Konaka’s influence on Tamers (or how much he actually didn’t have)

(Rest assured that if you’ve had a conversation with me recently about this issue, I’m not vaguing you; this conversation has come up a lot in the last few weeks, especially in my private chats, so this is just me deciding that I should write something about this for once since it’s been weighing on my head lately.)

I think, right now, with what happened regarding the DigiFes debacle, a lot of people are having complicated feelings about how to feel about Tamers, and this is completely understandable. I think there are also some things that may be inevitably unavoidable, such as starting to second-guess certain nuances in the series and what they might lead to. All of that is perfectly reasonable, and in the end, it’s going to be up to everyone to decide how they feel.

In light of this, a lot of people have been bringing up the fact that, while Konaka was the head writer, he was by no means the only person working on it. This is very much true, but I’d like to add something else to the equation: this is an issue that goes much deeper than the usual claiming death of the author for the sake of sanity. The full picture is that Konaka has always had much less influence on the series than the fanbase tends to attribute to him. Official statements have been very clear as to not attribute the entire series to him, and, among all the other controversial statements he’s made, Konaka himself has at least been very active about crediting the other staff members as far as their influence on the series! The idea that he was the only person who ever did anything substantial for Tamers is something I’ve been warning against since long before any of this happened (if you want proof, I have a post from April with this sentiment in it), and right now we just happen to be seeing what’s basically the worst possible outcome of the fanbase constantly worshipping him like the only real creative heart behind the series to borderline cult-like levels...when that’s never been true, and has resulted in unfairly taking credit away from people who deserved it.

I’ll go into detail below, and I hope this can help people understand the situation better and sort out how they feel about it.

Note that I make references to his infamous blog in this post, which I’m deliberately refraining from directly linking for obvious reasons, but all of the information is still there, so it should be verifiable if you decide to look for it yourself.

Personally, I’ve always found it really bizarre how there’s been this obsession with portraying Konaka as some kind of auteur whom the entirety of Tamers depended on. I’m not saying this out of spite towards him, because, again, even he himself was very insistent on disclaiming credit for things he wasn’t actually responsible for (he was quite humble in this respect, actually). Not to mention that I think it’s a mistake in general to constantly pin a single person in a multi-person production as the sole heart behind it, and the Digimon fanbase has historically had this strange double standard behind it when it comes to uplifting him as the only heart behind Tamers when nobody says that about any of the head writers for...anything else. (How many times has Nishizono’s name ever popped up when talking about Adventure? People are usually more obsessed with talking about Kakudou or Seki.) Konaka’s work is certainly distinctive, but Tamers had a lot more going on besides just that.

In fact, based on his own statements on the matter and all of the other official information we’ve gotten about Tamers production, while you can’t really quantify such things, it’s generally been estimated that Konaka was responsible for something like only a fourth of the series. Which is an incredibly low amount compared to what the fanbase would have told you before all of this happened, because of this fixation that he must be the genius mastermind behind the whole series. Not only that, this “brilliant auteur” image of him was so inflated that people were attributing way more of 02 to him than he deserved; 02 episode 13 was the only thing he contributed to the series and he was specifically brought on as a “guest writer”, and the overall plot of the episode was determined by the rest of the production staff and not him -- but ask the fanbase and they’ll tell you stories about how he invented some grand planned arc for 02 that got cancelled, or even that Tamers exists because of a “writer revolt” from him and other writers not being allowed to do what they wanted. (You know, as much as I understand 02′s a controversial series, it would be really nice if people didn’t make up completely baseless stories like this just to scapegoat it...)

I honestly cannot emphasize enough how much of the problem we’re in right now has been horribly enabled by the weird pedestal the fanbase has been putting him on. This is to the point where there’s even been a double standard where some of the more unpopular/criticized elements of Tamers must not have been the fault of a brilliant writer like him, and in fact was forced on him by the executives (this excuse had always been brought up anytime someone doesn’t like something about Tamers, just to make sure the image of him as a perfect writer was maintained). Turns out, as per his own admission on the infamous blog, while he wasn’t the one who initially had the idea of putting Ryou in, the part that rubbed the fanbase the wrong way -- that he came in as an accomplished senior who was better than everyone and played up by everyone in the cast -- was unabashedly his idea (he apparently was enamored with the idea of having someone like Tuttle from the movie Brazil). Again, this is a weird scenario where even Konaka himself has been more humble about this issue than the fanbase’s perception of him; he fully admitted whenever he had trouble writing certain parts. For instance, he doesn’t actually like writing about alternate worlds, felt they were out of his comfort zone, and only wrote in the Digital World because the franchise needs one; he’d stated that if he’d had his way, the Digital World arc wouldn’t have come in as early as it did, which might be a pretty shocking statement for a Digimon fan to hear.

If you want even more specifics, here are some extremely major parts of the series that Konaka was not actually the one behind:

The character backgrounds. Konaka stated on his blog that he wasn’t interested in going too much into character backstories because he felt it was too plot-limiting to say that a character is the way they are thanks to something in their past or background (basically, he cares more about plot than character for the most part), and that he’s also not into worldbuilding. Certain things like Ruki going to a girls’ school were supplied by Seki, who infamously loves worldbuilding, family backgrounds, and character settings.

Certain nuances of Ruki’s character, especially the part where she’s pigeonholed into uncomfortable places due to being a girl, were informed by Yoshimura Genki, writer from Adventure and one of the head writers of 02 (who eventually would go on to create an entire career out of feminist cinema).

According to the posts on his blog, Impmon’s character arc didn’t have much input from Konaka himself and was largely written in by Maekawa Atsushi (also a writer from Adventure and one of the head writers of 02).

The whole concept of Yamaki being redeemable in the first place was something Konaka didn’t originally plan for; he’d initially intended to make him a straightforward antagonist, but, of all things, his Christmas song, combined with the input of the other writers (especially Maekawa) humanizing him, led to the development where Yamaki eventually changed sides and became sympathetic. (This makes Konaka’s recent stunt revolving around Yamaki a bit painfully ironic.)

The director, Kaizawa Yukio, was deliberately picked because he didn’t have experience on the prior series, for the sake of changing things up, and he spent Tamers as a period of studying what Digimon should be like. Based on what he’s hinted, it seems Konaka's writing style and choices were able to have as much influence as they did because Kaizawa approved of them -- that is to say, Konaka’s detailed imagery and descriptions were extensive enough that Kaizawa could go “sure, let’s go with that.” But in the end, nothing Konaka did would have gone through unless Kaizawa and Seki (among many others) didn’t also approve of it or provide input. Moreover, Kakudou Hiroyuki (director of Adventure and 02) has also been stated many times to have been a valuable consultant on invoking Digimon so that the new staff could understand what to aim for and how to get the right feel (and also assisted with providing stuff for the mythos, such as the Devas). Nevertheless, Kaizawa also seems to have had his own strong opinions and input on the story; he especially seems to get passionate when it comes to the topic of making the story something the kids watching it could relate to and imagine. (He would eventually go on to direct Frontier and Hunters, along with several episodes of the Adventure: reboot.)

So in other words, looking at this, a lot of these things that people emotionally connected to and loved about Tamers are things that literally were not his personal creation, and were largely contributed by the other writers! Of course, Konaka’s “creator thumbprint” is very obvious -- he was the head writer, after all -- and all of this had to go through his own vetting to make sure he personally liked it as well -- but nevertheless, you can see that this very much was a collaborative effort from head to toe, with him being very open about this fact himself. Insisting on making sure that this fact is well-known isn’t just a coping mechanism to try and remove his presence in the series, but rather a desire to get people to seriously stop giving him credit that really should be going to others (especially since, again, even he himself was very diligent about assigning that credit).

In the end, I’ll leave you with another thing to keep in mind: Konaka doesn’t get paid anymore for Tamers work (unless they make something new like the DigiFes thing), so continuing to buy Tamers merch and supporting the series through fanart and such will probably end up going more towards the Digimon IP as a whole. Basically, if we’re just talking about Tamers specifically, what degree this is going to matter is only really relevant to the content in the original series, which is now twenty years old and remains unchanged. By Konaka’s own admission, he wasn’t into all of these conspiracy theories until 2010 at the earliest, so while it’s understandable to be a bit wary about the themes in Tamers having traces of the base sentiment, the original series itself does not seem to be an outlet for alt-right propaganda, and it’s probably forcing it a bit much to read into it that way. Konaka’s also repeatedly insisted that all of his attempts at a Tamers sequel have been rejected and that he’s been doing increasingly strange swerves to get around members of the original cast not entirely being available, and the Japanese audience has turned out to not be very fond of the contents of the 2018 drama CD and the stage reading for reasons entirely separate from the politics, so it’s also unlikely we’ll be getting a Tamers sequel from him or something in the near future.

So -- at least for the time being -- what’s done with him is done, and the remaining question is how all of us feel about Tamers. I think everyone will have differing feelings on it, and that’s perfectly understandable. Personally, given everything I just said above, I’m going to continue treating it as a series very important to me, and one that many people (including, as it seems, a very different Konaka from twenty years ago) worked on with a lot of effort and love, although you may see me getting a bit more willing to be critical about the series and its themes thanks to my concerns about some of the sentiments in it and what they imply. I also completely understand that there are probably people whose associations are going to be much more hurt and who will have a much harder time seeing the series the same way ever again, and I think that’s reasonable as well. But at the very least, going forward, I hope all of us can understand the depth of this situation, give credit where it’s due, and not force credit where it’s not due.

[dragynkeep]

Hi there, ironpines! (Love the name btw, I read a really good fic about ironwood being a father-figure to Oscar when RWBY and co. get to Atlas).

So this is probably going to be very long but I’ve really gotta vent about some stuff.

(Also, first ask. I honestly didn’t know how to do this for the longest time. Just got back into tumblr a bit ago).

1. I hate Jaune Arc (a lot of people do), but I want to know why. Do you think/believe he’s an author’s pet? Also, why the HELL did he kill Penny in the first place?!? Why not Winter, Nora, or Ruby? Why did he have to go to the island? Just- WHY?

2. In the first three volumes I really liked Team RWBY, but now….how did they get so skewed? What went wrong? How can Ruby be THAT arrogant that she point-blank says to Qrow: “we never needed an adult’s help.” Like- yes you did! If not for Qrow killing the Grimm in v4 they would have been continuously fighting Grimm. I’m the fight against Tyrian (one of my favorite characters and favorite fights) if not for Ruby getting in the way Qrow wouldn’t have been POISONED!

3. (This is the one I’m going to get cyber-ly killed for). (I also had just started RWBY when volume 5 was airing weekly.) The beginning of Volume 5, in my opinion was good. I liked the first five-six chapters, but when AU watched ‘Rest and Resolutions’ V5C7, I was so angry! Everything about the conversation between Ruby, Weiss, and Yang felt so out of character and out of place. It was so bad and the next episodes following that were not good either (only the raven v cinder fight was any good). The battle of Haven was a train wreck that I honestly have no idea how I even retained braincells after that. Like- why KEEP teasing Weiss v emerald if you aren’t going to do anything with it. Why tease Mercury v Yang if you’re not going to do anything new and interesting with the two (Mercury isn’t even a character anymore!)

4. I wish we got good rep. I really wish we didn’t get confirmation on LGBTQ+ characters from supplemental material (that’s not even canon). And I’ve gotta ask, why do you consider cannon? Cuz for me, the only things I consider actually CANNON to the storyline are the Red, White, Black, Yellow Trailers and the show itself (Grimm Eclipse just for the sake of more cool lore about Mountain Glenn and the fact of mutant Grimm). That’s it. I don’t consider the World of Remnants, manga (DC or otherwise, those were HORRIBLE!), anthologies, and the DISGUSTING novels.

(This is the last thing, I promise!)

5. I’m working on a quasi-rewrite RWBY fic and I didn’t know whether or not I should post the first chapter on my page or not. I just really don’t want the simps to come for my head (though it might happen anyway). But I’ve been writing this for about a year and a half now and I really want to post it but I’m so nervous about the reception and backlash. What do you think?

Thanks for answering me and indulging the fact that it’s okay to like something and still want it to be better (critics/the Rwde tag is my favorite because I can read opinions that I mused share but are too scared to put as a post).

Thanks, we picked Ironpines because we loved Ironwood and Oscar, and then our friends, being the good friends they are, immediately told us it was the ship name for them so now we can't have anything nice.

1) First off, yes, we absolutely think Jaune is an author's pet. We don't really go for self-insert anymore since everyone in RWBY was a self-insert, Monty clearly based them off his friends. But now, Jaune is absolutely an author's pet and has been since the start of the show.

Just look at Volume 1. Jaune literally had more of a storyline than Yang, one of the girls in the title. He then went on to have a dumb love triangle in V2, only to resolve it with Neptune without any input from Weiss, because why not, and then V3 was Jaune finally taking more of a step back for Pyrrha, who was long over due some character.

Until V4 where, rather than everyone mourning Pyrrha, we focused on Jaune mourning her instead. Nevermind that Pyrrha was Ren and Nora's teammate too, probably their only family since they're orphans, or how Ruby literally watched Pyrrha die in front of her. Nope, gotta focus on Jaune. Add that it stretches into V5 also, adding another storyline about his Semblance while Ren, Nora, and Ruby have to stand in the background and wait their turn, while Weiss literally loses all her braincells so she's injured for Jaune's development, how the confrontation with Cinder doesn't go to Ruby, the main protagonist, but Jaune.

Then we get that stupid statue scene in V6 that took over Oscar finally getting some development of his own. It's not even the whole team, because it's only Jaune that gets to meet the lady who totally isn't Pyrrha's mother, it's Jaune that gets the big teary moment, and how Ren and Nora have to stop and comfort Jaune because of course they have to.

I was glad that Jaune finally took a backseat in V7. I actually started to like him again, because he wasn't sucking screentime away from those who need it. But then V8 happened and now I want him dead.

I've said it countless times before so I don't wanna repeat myself, but Jaune is one of the last people that should've killed Penny. He shouldn't have killed her, he shouldn't have had the big tearful scene because another redhead died, he shouldn't have fallen into the void to join Team RWBY, but he did. Now there's no doubt in my mind that Jaune is a fucking author's pet, because the writers won't let him go into the background where he belongs.

2) There's not much to say about Team RWBY. They just suck now.

3) After watching V8, V5 is no longer my least favourite volume. That's how bad it was.

4) Yeah, RWBY's rep is absolute trash and it's because they keep putting it in supplemental material, and also because they look at the LGBT and only see L. The only MLM we have is Scarlet, and he's a catty fae gay stereotype that is so unlikeable and voiced by a creep. Nevermind the whole Fairgame queerbait controversy because this company can't stop themselves for five minutes.

5) I always say that, when you post work on the internet, whether its art of writing, you have to understand that you will get criticism back. It'll suck, especially when you've put so much time and effort into something, but that's the risk you have to take as a content creator.

The good thing is that AO3 has features that let you manage what you see properly. If people just want to hate without giving proper criticism, you can always remove it and ignore it, but I personally believe that people aren't entitled to criticism when it's only said nicely. Sometimes, people will get annoyed and say it in a meaner way, but that doesn't make the criticism any less valid.

Either way, decide based on how you think you'll react to it. If you don't want the stress of criticism, be careful, but if you think you can handle it? Then go for it, the world's your oyster.

[leviiattacks]

Two Faced | Chapter Two

↳ levi ackerman, the very person who was about to kindly behead you by a surprising turn of events manages to become your loving husband? you would be elated if this was true love, but it's all thanks to a mysterious magic spell that your life is spared. for now at least.

pairing :: duke!levi x duchess!reader genre :: royal au, angst, fluff, slice of life etc word count :: 2.6k → click here for the next part !

You're apprehensive the first few days. Peering over your shoulder when you walk through the halls of the Duke's estate. You often find yourself fiddling with the only real possession you have remaining from the entire ordeal - a silver locket given to you by your mother, it hasn't stood the test of time, it's littered in small scratches and it's clearly seen better days. Neither does it shine the way it used to but you need it to feel at ease.

Currently, sitting in the estate's library you attempt to focus on reading the book in front of you. It details the life of an orphaned child, the rest of the plot is a blur to you as this task is not done with the intent of enjoying the literature but with the purpose of distracting yourself.

You've been avoiding Duke Ackerman for days on end now. He's made the occasional visit to your quarters, always politely asks if he's permitted to speak to you - allowed to take even a second of your precious time. You decline every single request, your excuses range from "I'm feeling particularly ill today." to"I would like to rest early.", He never inquires after you've responded. You do however find he communicates in a variety of different ways ; Meals of the finest standard, A luxurious place to live, the maids also offer you the opportunity to venture out into the beautiful gardens but you know he's asked them to do so.

Quite frankly, you're still petrified and are unable to fathom what happened that fateful day, you had never been one to put much faith in God especially after all he had put you through, but maybe there was a God or a higher being or a somebody who helped you in your moment of despair.

Eyes darting from your page to the door of the library, you swear you see the door knob twist and you hastily double take. Nothing looks out of the ordinary so you allow yourself to shake it off. Your eyes droop shut as you knead your shoulders attempting to relieve some of the tension you feel. Recently, you find it to be an ordinary occurrence for your muscles to seize at the worst possible opportunities.

"May I speak to you?" A beaming voice enters the room from behind you but never had such a cheerful voice made you freeze in fright. It's him.

At his appearance you begin to think of all sorts of scenarios and outcomes but the specific thought you've been actively ignoring slyly slips into view. What if the spell weakens?

Fate is an ever changing entity, one minute it may be in your favour, the next... you'd rather not delve any deeper into that alternative.

Jumping to your feet you don't look in his direction trying to keep the contact you have with him minimal.

He audibly huffs and just as you're about to scurry away he speaks again. "Halt your movements."

Something about his voice beckons you to do so and you anxiously face him.

"Did I come off too bold?" The expression he makes is unlike any other you've seen from him before. His eyes twinkle and it looks as if he's holding his breathe expectantly. It's almost comical how different he looks and you can't stop your cheeks from flushing. He's quite adorable under this spell.

But then a flashback is presented to you. The anger in his eyes, the cold feeling of his sword, if he were any closer he would have been swiftly slicing your neck open. Y/N, you were seconds away from becoming a corpse you remind yourself fiercely.

"I'm not doing very well at courting you, Am I?" He frowns as he asks but he's not upset, perhaps disappointed.

Looking at the floor you hear him bombard you with even more questions, he's crowding around you now like a swarm of bees - somehow he manages the job of an entire hive on his own. No one has ever taken such an interest in you.

Your conscience tells you that you will regret this later on down the line, it tells you this will come back and bite you incredibly hard, you will regret being so ignorant and trusting yet you yield. Is it so wrong for you to consider feeling affection? When the Duke snaps out of this spell he will promptly execute you and you're aware of that fact, so what reason is there to cower away in fear?

For all your life you have never experienced the true feeling of love. You had mother's maternal love, which hadn't lasted very long at all. Never would you have any other opportunity to experience the romantic intimate kind involving a significant other. If you were to die you may as well play the role of his wife for as long as this spell wills it. Perhaps he'll receive his memories back so late he forgets or simply no longer cares. Part of you hopes he doesn't remember at all.

"Would you like to..." you pause already regretting what you're doing but before you can continue the Duke cuts you off.

"Have tea together? Explore the gardens together?"

What really sticks out to you most is how he casually emphasizes the word together. He really doesn't care what activity you engage in as long as it's with him. You feel your heart twist in your chest. This is dangerous.

He's eager, leaning forward with wide eyes. It feels odd having someone care about your input, even more odd seeing that person smile at you with the same spirit of an elated child. It's bittersweet knowing his true character.

"Let's have some tea."

A few months have passed since then. Surprisingly you're still alive and the spell shows no signs of wearing away any time soon.

After the raid at your palace he's been nothing but sweet towards you. At first many people were against him courting you and a handful of his advisors attempted to steer his sights away due to suspicions and speculation that you were a "sinful witch" who had manipulated or even seduced him.

The day he had heard those rumors he caused an uproar and had fired the royal advisor who spread them around. "Impertinent fools have the audacity to make such comments about my Duchess." You would usually add in you were not worth such respect considering you were not officially a Duchess but the fiery blaze in his eyes had stopped you.

"Hey Lev, lets go have some tea they've learnt their lesson." You shot the gossiping maids a sympathetic look.

Being under the spell does not make him more tolerable towards other people is what you learnt that day.

Multiple women all with visuals worlds more appealing than your own approach him, some even sent by his advisors to set you up. They test if his love is strong enough to withstand the attacks of others. Time and time again he proves everyone wrong and doesn't think for a second to give up on you.

You're glad for that because through these few months you've ascertained how much you love the Duke for who he is. Well, who he's acting as. You want to slam your head against a concrete wall repeatedly when you think about the level of affection and tenderness you hold towards the man but you can not lie and say you hate him.

The fact that before meeting him you lived a life lacking of love and affection does not help your case either. It only makes it harder.

But it's painfully obvious to you that this is all truly one sided. You aren't really in love with the Duke but you're in love with the magic holding him hostage.

You share these thoughts to yourself as you take a short sip from your tea cup. Sasha has left the room to fetch some pastries and sweets. She takes her job seriously as head maid (you never address her as such because really she's just a friend to you). It's a chilly day hence why you've covered yourself up in a shawl, it coincidentally matches the beige drapes.

Suddenly a boy who you recognize to be one of the young apprentices by the name of Eren bursts through the doors of your tea room. His hair is all over the place and he's panting as he tries to formulate a sentence.

"Duke." Puff. " Duke Ackerman" Puff. "Refuses to return to the Imperial Palace and is threatening the Emperor stating he won't return to his duties!"

You ignore it and try to keep to your own affairs because who are you to interfere in military business? It's looked down upon to involve yourself in such matters.

You send him off and in the mean time Sasha makes her way back.

A few minutes later as the both of you are munching on a particularly sweet macron the palace's butler bursts in the same way as Jaeger and tries to get a word in but Sasha manages to interject first.

"My lady, perhaps you should check in on the Duke." she suggests.

You try to speak but the Butler cuts in abruptly.

"Duchess. I'm afraid he hasn't ate a meal in five days. Please talk to him."

"Mike there is no need to call me a Duchess when I hold no such title...wait the Duke hasn't ate for five days???"

You find it unbelievable that Levi has forgotten to eat or possibly starved himself for something.

Making your way to his office you enter with a speech prepared about how eating is one of the blessings you've been given and how it should be appreciated but instead you're met face to face with a trail of rose petals that lead to the Duke.

You stare at him in confusion. He holds a bouquet of roses in his hands and they kiss his chest, He gives you a look of admiration that can only be described as the look that is reserved for your one true love. His eyes glimmer and they shine along with his glossy raven hair. You look him up and down in astonishment.

He's arranged all this for you.

"I'd do anything to have you be by my side for all of eternity. Will you honor me with the opportunity of taking your hand?"

Just looking at this entirely different version of the Duke, you feel relieved and in the moment you recklessly accept his proposal. You know it's stupid, you know it's ignorant, you know you should be denying him but you can't make yourself ignore the will of your heart.

"I hope to live a long life. One with you present." he whispers into the shell of your ear, it tingles.

After weeks of the Duke's courting you accept his marriage proposal and the both of you quietly wed two months later.

He's so kind and affectionate that you're plagued with nightmares where the spell wears off.

In your nightmares he continues what he left unfinished. Every time he's about to plunge his sword into the depths of your chest he wakes you up and caresses your face in between his large hands. He wraps his arms around you after some time. Once your breathing relaxes he asks what has made you cry and you can't do anything to explain. It only hurts more seeing his concerned expression. The way his eyes flick between your eyes and trembling lips, you want to tell him the truth, instead you state that you"had a nightmare, and don't wish to talk about it." You don't want him asking questions over it.

It's another Wednesday and you're pacing back and forth in front of his office door arguing with yourself about whether or not you should enter. Finally, you decide to make your entrance and peek inside. You hear him arguing with his advisors as normal.

"Instead of blithering like a idiot and making excuses why don't yo-" he's midway through his sentence when he sees you at the doorway.

Dropping the previous matter he rushes over towards you and scoops you up in his arms. Smiling up at you, you smile back sheepishly ignoring the stares of his staff.

"Honey, why did you leave me? Where did you go?" He whines into your neck and you try to push him away shyly but he won't budge.

Everyone around you grimaces at his usual mood swings as well as the heavy flirting that he's targeting at you.

"You haven't come to eat dinner with me for three nights. You're the workaholic who left me." You swiftly retort his point and you pout at the end of your sentence. He pouts back and you can see his cheeks are tinged a blushed pink.

"Then we must dine immediately, you should have informed me that I had made you feel so neglected, my darling!"

After making your way to the dining room you and Levi are conversing happily as per usual when you spot his highly agitated secretary Mikasa. It settles in that she's been standing there for a considerable amount of time, time flies when you and Levi speak. She's clearly waiting for him to report back to duty.

The first time you had met Mikasa she was highly suspicious of you and would keep an eye on your movements at all times (literally) , you thought she perhaps fancied the Duke but later learnt that she was related to him and that was probably why she was on edge at the appearance of a new individual. Besides all that she's sweet really, sometime she joins you and Sasha for tea and you happily converse. She isn't much of a talker, more of a listener which works out well considering how extroverted Sasha is and how you love to story tell. You've shared many fond memories with her.

That's why you place a hand on Levi's shoulder and interrupt him.

"Why don't you return to your work? It's about time I send you back now." You suggest but he rolls his eyes in annoyance.

"Why do you keep on trying to get rid of me? I want to stay for a little longer. After all you are my wife. You count as one of my duties. If not the most important duty of all!" He's about to break out into one of his embarrassing speeches and you want to save Mikasa from that.

"Mikasa really needs you to complete your other duties. Do it for me Lev." You try and butter him up with the mention of his nickname. As expected he perks up and stands up to leave, not before placing a soft kiss on your cheek.

"Ah Lev, I'll be taking a short trip out today. Is that alright with you?"

You don't specify that 'out' means the Sunday Market place, he'll ask question after question.

He holds onto your chin with his thumb and leans in for a chaste kiss.

"Of course my darling. Be careful."

He giddily waves at you as he leaves and you wave back with the same enthusiasm. You giggle at the sight of Mikasa practically gagging at the two of you and glaring daggers at Levi.

The door then shuts and you're left alone.

All that accompanies you is silence and you purse your lips together trying to keep it together. Recently as soon as he turns away from you all you can think about is how this love of his is a hoax.

He doesn't really love you.

That doesn't stop all the sweet words he's ever uttered from flooding your memory.

"You're mine and I'm yours."

"My beautiful love."

"I love you I mean it." It hurts. He doesn't mean it.

But you'll keep the charade up. You'll find a way to keep him this way forever. It's selfish but you can't be blamed, It keeps you safe and happy.

Love is nice but you would prefer to live.

[barkkletshunt]

Those Worth Fighting For Part four

Have you ever seen a fic update so fast? Four updates in two days?

Part one

Part two

Part three

Part five 

Part six

Part seven

Part eight 

“While I like the idea of them having a red, green, and gold colour scheme going on, don’t you think it would have too much of a christmas theme and take away from the magic of their wedding?” Marinette sat on the same couch as Felix did, across from Kagami and Adrien who, despite their careful appearances, looked frazzled. 

“But those are our favourite colours,” Adrien tried, but Felix held his hand up to stop his cousin.

“Your wedding is in late spring, if you think for a moment that christmas colours are appropriate for that time of year then you need to hand over your fathers fashion industry to me right now.” Felix sipped at his now cold cup of coffee. “If anything, we could do red and gold and have green accents if we used things like leaves and give it a more rustic feel.”

“But that wouldn’t go well with their general aesthetic. They need to look like a king and queen, not a cottagecore couple.” Marinette countered. “I think we could go with a green, gold, and cream theme. That way they both get one of their favourites while keeping with the posh style. Either way, no matter what gold has to be a part of it. That I will not budge on.”

“If we made Adrien’s tie green it would bring out his eyes more.” Felix hummed, looking over at his co-planner. “You have good tastes, Marinette.”

“Why thank you, Felix, your tastes aren’t so bad yourself.” She said back. 

The two planners had successfully gotten their way with the wedding with everything they had put forth. Marinette’s ideas were either on point with Felix’s or close to it so the planning was going a lot easier than either of them had expected. Both had spent enough time with the bride and groom to know their likes and dislikes and due to their fashion background they knew what they were doing. 

They were unstoppable, not that Kagami and Adrien even tried. They saw the fire that was lit behind their companions' eyes and knew better, and it wasn’t like they didn’t like anything their friends had said. In fact, the more the two spoke the more excited Kagami and Adrien felt about the upcoming event. 

“Why don’t we make the groomsmen wear gold ties, just so that Adriens tie doesn’t fade in with the rest of them.” Marinette rambled, showing Felix the designs she had tucked away in her portfolio that she refused to show Kagami. “If you wear green too your eyes will stand out and Adrien is supposed to be the one people are paying attention to.”

“Should the bridesmaids wear green then? If that dress design is anything to go by we don’t want Kagami to blend in with the other girls.” Felix hummed, sliding closer to Marinette without thinking about it. “Can’t have you stealing the show from the bride, you know.”

Marinette’s face grew warm at the compliment, even if it did match her unintentional flirting moments earlier. The added proximity didn’t help, but she could pull herself together. This was Felix, after all, and despite how nice he had been that evening she still needed to see more of him before passing a proper judgement on him. 

The two planners missed the looks between the future Mr. and Mrs Agreste. 

“Well, after the akuma attack today I feel exhausted. I think I shall turn in tonight, since the two of you have it covered.” Kagami said as she stood from her seat. 

“Did you want me to make you a coffee?” Adrien asked innocently enough, but was immediately shut down.

“No, if I have a coffee now I won’t sleep.” Kagami raised her brow at her fiance, wondering if he had caught her drift yet. “And you have business to take care of in the morning. Let’s leave the planning to these two, shall we?”

The blonde man abruptly stood up, realizing what she was getting at. “Oh, oh! Yeah! Of course! They don’t really need our input for any of this stuff anyways, and I’m definitely beat after that sentimonster. We should go to bed.”

The owners of the house bid their goodnights and quickly escaped from the room, leaving Marinette and Felix sitting there dumbfounded. 

“Have, have they always been that obvious in their plans?” Felix finally asked, breaking the silence that had stretched on after their friend's departure. 

Marinette shook her head, “I have only seen them like that once when they were trying to plan a surprise birthday party for me.”

“And how well did that go for them?”

“Adrien ordered the cake from my parents bakery over the phone, but didn’t realize that I was the one taking his order.” Marinette recalled the look of horror on Adrien’s face when he had come to pick the cake up the day prior, and had begged Marinette not to tell Kagami he blew it. “For someone so smart he can be really oblivious, you know.”

“I did live with him for two years, I am well aware of how he can be.” Felix snorted. He shifted positions so he was facing towards Marinette. “I think it actually turned me into a better person, to be honest.”

“What do you mean?” Marinette mirrored his position on the couch. Adrien was an open book to her, she could ask him anything about himself and he’d answer her, and when she asked about his time in England he never said much about it. She couldn’t miss hearing about it from a second party, though. Especially when her friend was the cause of someone becoming a better person.

“Well, as I’m sure you are aware I was a terrible teenager.” Felix started.

“What? You? The man who deleted my love confession and mocked our friends?” Marinette jokingly pushed his shoulder. “I don’t believe it.”

Felix grinned, “I know, I know. I’m such a saint now. I wasn’t sure if you had even recognized me at first.”

“It was a bit difficult without those devil horns you used to wear.”

“Oh those? Those were natural. Grew them myself. Kind of miss them, actually.” 

The two laughed for a moment, enjoying their friendly banter that seemed to come so easily to them. 

“Okay,” Marinette giggled, “tell me how our sweet sunshine child managed to change the demon known as Felix.”

“Well, when he first moved in I was sent into a whirlwind of emotion.” Felix started, “I was still angry that Adrien had abandoned me when my father had died because his father wouldn’t let him call or text us, but I also knew how terrible it was to lose a father even if it was only to a lifetime imprisonment. I had so much baggage that I took it out on him. I think I made the first few weeks of his stay with us hell.”

The blonde man shifted, no longer wanting to look her in the eye as he confessed to his crimes. It didn’t take a trained psychoanalyst to see the regret he felt coming out and causing him to fidget. 

“It was when he transferred into my school and started to get bullied that I changed my tune.” Marinette was shocked. Adrien was so loveable and kind, how could anyone have bullied him? Then it donned on her. He was a terrorist's son. “People would shove notes in his locker with butterflies on it, or draw on his desk, and he’d just smile and say that they must have been doing it because of his fathers fashion symbol being a butterfly. Perhaps he wasn’t oblivious to it, but purposefully ignorant. No one would want to believe their father was the supervillian of Paris after all.”

“It was then that I decided to switch my targets from my cousin to those bullying him, and oh was I ever brutal. I had a few of them expelled for harassment, some I actually got physical with since they assumed I was Adrien. Either way, it was my school and I wasn’t going to let anyone insult my cousin. That was my job.” Felix’s brows pulled together. “It was the fights that got Adrien to step in. He reminded me that the emotions of people were complicated things, and that they were acting out more out of fear than actual hatred towards him. He told me what he actually needed wasn’t another bodyguard, but someone to lead his PR campaign.” 

Marinette remembered when Adrien’s image in the media had changed the first time, when he went from brilliant model to the heir to Hawkmoth's legacy. It had taken almost another full year of Adrien working harder than he ever had before to show the world that he wasn’t a monster, and it still took a live interview from Ladybug herself to convince the rest of the public that there was no way Adrien was involved in any of his fathers crimes nor was he a holder of a miraculous. It had been a wild ride from start to finish, but all considering it only took two whole years to get Adrien back in the world's good graces when the sunshine boy didn’t think he’d ever be able to live it down. 

“I spearheaded Adrien’s redemption. We donated to so many relief funds, I used our similar appearances to go onto talk shows to give a more calculated interviews. I did everything in my power to make people realize how inherently good Adrien is, and it worked.” Felix let out a long breath before turning a kind smile towards her. “But by the time all of that was done I had changed. I had become a person Adrien was proud of, and now I am here planning his wedding with his best friend. Whom, might I add, he talked about almost as much as he did his own girlfriend.”

“Now if you could have told me that, say, five years ago I would have been ecstatic.” Marinette set her portfolio down on the coffee table as she remembered how intense her crush for Adrien used to be. “But I am long over my crush on Adrien.”

“I am sorry about that, by the way.”

“Hm?” Marinette tilted her head to the side, not sure what he was talking about.

“Deleting your confession.” He explained. “It was wrong of me. I was jealous and petty and I’m sorry.”

Marinette wasn’t angry anymore, even if she wanted to be. Felix wasn’t the same as he was all those years ago and neither was she. It was silly for her to hold onto all that anger when he had changed himself so completely. 

“I am, however, not sorry you didn’t end up with my cousin.” He grinned. “Now I might have a chance.”

Maybe not so completely.

“In your dreams, devil boy!”

[idratherdreamofjune]

@sunheart wrote in her tags on another post:

Genuinely hate being alive ... I completely understand on so many levels why you would hate being a woman. Its horrible. And then as a Christian there's this whole really ugly dynamic- that i know is probably a lie i just haven't worked out how yet- that we're the 2nd best. The afterthought. The mediocre option. Almost everything in life men are better at and it's hard to believe it's just cultural-  math logic leadership writing cooking writing physical activities on and on, and women are good at being Nice :)   Which ok i like being nice   but it's like that's my only option   I feel like any other impact i might wish to have upon the world   will be paltry in comparison to what i could do   if only i was a man.   I feel incompetent. Irrational. Emotional. Obnoxious.   I feel like I'm supposed to be a plaything for the beings that were *actually* created to be in harmony with God   like I'm not supposed to have a connection with God-  only through my husband   which what does that make me as a single childless bitch?   I can't even fulfill the main point of my existence. Jesus interacted with women but did he care about them like he did the men? David and John were named his favorites not Deborah or Hannah. And like i said i'm sure none of that's true but i don't know how and it feels awful. hate it.

   Hopefully others have shared encouragement on this already, but just in case I wanted to give some thoughts. Please know that if I sound riled at all (and I’m going to try to avoid that) I’m not upset at anyone who feels this way but am deeply upset by the enemy’s lies that so many are hurt by. As a younger believer I did struggle with some of these questions myself, and for a long time it was difficult to reconcile these concerns with the promises that God loves me.

   Your instincts are right - it is a lie that women are second best. And before I go any further let me also agree that yes, we are physically weaker than men and have other weaknesses too. But since when has weakness meant that someone is any way “less than” others? Men have weaknesses too, just different ones. That’s the nature of humanity: every person is a mixed bag of strengths and weaknesses. I’ve never heard before that men are better at cooking?? My dad literally struggles to cook a hotdog in the microwave and has never touched a grill in his life. And okay men may (possibly, not sure on this one either) be inherently better at math, but which gender is drastically underrepresented in the nursing field? I suspect there are fewer male teachers, too, though not as huge a disparity. Men are more prone to recklessness and violence - part of the reason married men live longer (gotta get that stable influence). Again yes men are physically stronger but have you watched ballet dancers (oooh i mean ballerinas, sorry there’re so few ballerinos that I forgot to differentiate) or female gymnasts? Nothing “less than” there! The famous Proverbs 31 woman is a good insight into Biblical support of female abilities and value: “strength and dignity are her clothing”, “she opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” “Let her works praise her in the gates.” (The gates were essentially the city hall or forum of ancient Israel.)

   Going back to the beginning - women were created second, true. But did God not know His own plan? He was always going to create women. And the really amazing thing that I learned in the last couple of years is that, when God says He’s going to make Adam “a helper” (Hebrew ”ezer”), that’s the same word that is used to describe God’s actions for His people throughout the Old Testament: - Exodus 18:4 “The God of my father was my help.” - 1 Samuel 7:12 “Ebenezer” means “rock of help” and is a memorial of Yaweh’s help. - Psalm 30:10 “Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me! O Lord, be my helper!” - Psalm 115:11 “You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord, He is their help and their shield” - Psalm 121:2 “My help comes from the Lord” - Hosea 13:9 “‘You are against Me, against your helper.’“

It is a common word for “help” used in other settings, yes, but the fact that it’s used of God illustrates that this is no poor or second-rate role. Helping - aiding - supporting - incredibly important! In fact this article I just found puts it this way:

In two cases it refers to the first woman, Eve, in Genesis 2. Three times it refers to powerful nations Israel called on for help when besieged. In the sixteen remaining cases the word refers to God as our help. He is the one who comes alongside us in our helplessness. That's the meaning of ezer. Because God is not subordinate to his creatures, any idea that an ezer-helper is inferior is untenable. In his book Man and Woman: One in Christ, Philip Payne puts it this way: "The noun used here [ezer] throughout the Old Testament does not suggest 'helper' as in 'servant,' but help, savior, rescuer, protector.'

   Moving on to the New Testament, and the topic of John, who is known as “the disciple whom Jesus loved”. John is the one who wrote the book which tells us that (under the direction of the Holy Spirit, yes) and he only uses that wording as a title, in place of his name. Nowhere does it say he was the favorite disciple, or even most loved, just that he was loved. To me it seems more as if John is saying “Jesus loved me! Can you believe it?!” It has a feeling of awe and thankfulness as opposed to superiority.

  Getting into marriage specifically, I do believe that a wife should be under the headship of her husband ...mainly in the sense of letting him have the last word on decisions and plans. This is in part due to differing areas of strength, and in part because in some situations it’s better to have a family leader - most groups of humans need a leader, and following an assigned (or picked) leader does not make one inferior. All that being said, a wife should be able to provide input, advice, and feedback to her husband, who should take into strong consideration his wife’s needs, insights, and concerns (Ephesians 5:25-29).

   The lie that women cannot be connected to God outside of their husband is refuted not only by all the vibrantly faithful single or windowed Christian ladies of history (Amy Carmichael, Gladys Aylward, Mary Slessor, and Elisabeth Elliot are some of my favorites) but also Scripture itself. When Christ spoke with the divorced Samaritan woman the disciples were shocked not because she was a Samaritan but because she was a woman (John 4:27; she was shocked on both counts - John 4:9) - I hope they got used to it because Jesus spoke with women a lot. Despite the culture of the time, Jesus clearly had very warm and caring direct relationships with Martha and Mary, Mary Magdalene, and other women. Anna the Prophetess in the temple had been widowed for decades and was serving God alone “night and day” (Luke 2:37). Incredibly, in a culture where women were looked down upon, the Lord chose women to be the first to discover the empty tomb, and Mary Magdalene to be the first to see the risen Christ! I love that passage so much (John 20:11-18).

   Another example is when Jesus stopped on His way to heal Jairus’ daughter (i.e. He put aside a powerful man’s urgent request) to lovingly interact with the woman who’d suffered bleeding for years - a terribly personal and female problem (Mark 5:21-35).

   To try to wrap up, I’ll return to David in the OT, who was a “man after God’s own heart”. But again, it doesn’t say that he was actually a favorite - it does say David was chosen by God though, to lead Israel and establish the family from which Jesus would ultimately come. You know who else was chosen? Esther - “for such a time as this”. Once she realizes the task she must complete, she tells Mordecai how it’s going to go, and “Mordecai then went away and did everything Esther had ordered him.” Esther gets a book named after her and is remembered in the holiday of Purim to this day. Also note that Esther was married to an unbeliever. Likewise Ruth was chosen, as a young foreign widow, to be part of the Messiah’s kingly line. As an aside, my favorite thing about Ruth’s story (besides all the faith and beauty of it) is the simultaneous deep respect and protectiveness Boaz shows towards her (okay enough mush). Anyhow what it comes down to is that God chooses and loves both men and women, and both have a place (singly and married) in His plans and kingdom. See also Galatians 3:28 “ There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

   This post has all over the place, and I probably forgot a bunch of things I wanted to add (if anything else comes to mind I’ll add it later), but I hope it’s been encouraging. Yes I’ve struggled with some aspects of how women are portrayed in the Bible, but what I shared above, plus the love and blessings I’ve known as a single woman are more than enough evidence that we are known and loved. If anything is unclear or anyone has any questions please speak out/send an ask! Anon asks are on too. Also if anyone wants to add or amend anything do so without hesitation!!

[nordleuchten]

Hi ! Facts about the Lafayette couple. Thanks.

Hello Anon,

well, well, the La Fayette couple, Adrienne and Gilbert  - where to even begin with these two? Their marriage was arranged and arranged marriages were very common for the time and people of their position. A family with wealth, a title and influence was keen on preserving all of this – and tried to add to it by trying to arranging marriages with families who as well had at least one of these things. A truly popular combination was a family with a great name/title that had fallen on hard times and a very rich family without too great a name. Now, La Fayette and Adrienne were lucky in so far as that they really loved each other. Their marriage was far more than pure convenience. Still, not everything was picture perfect. La Fayette had different mistresses and although he loved Adrienne, I always feel like it took him quite some time to realise just how wonderful Adrienne truly was, how loyal and devoted. It was not entirely uncommon that a man and a women in an arranged marriage barely know each other prior to their marriage. That again was different with La Fayette and Adrienne. La Fayette actually lived with his future in-laws together in their house prior to the marriage. Behind the scenes everything had already been sorted out, but the bride and the groom were still none the wiser (although La Fayette was told before Adrienne was told). Partly responsible for this living-arrangement was Adrienne’s mother, the Duchess d’Ayen. She was the metaphorical lioness protecting her cubs. She was fiercely protective of her daughters and thought that Adrienne was still way too young. So La Fayette moved in with them, they had some time to get to know each other and to mature a bit. La Fayette also won over the Duchess, who was a bit skeptical at first.

When La Fayette and Adrienne finally married, she was fourteen and he was sixteen. Their marriage contract stated that they should continue to live with Adrienne’s family and that their marriage was not be consumed for some time. This rule again was included due to the input of the Duchess – who still thought her daughter way too young for any martial endeavours. Regardless of that, Adrienne became pregnant with the couples first child during this proposed period – the popular opinion is, that La Fayette after some time simply wanted to be with Adrienne and sneaked into her room (something that he supposedly confessed to later in life). Whatever happened, they both seemed quite happy.

When La Fayette departed for America, Adrienne was completely clueless, she said that herself but there is also circumstancel evidence to support her statement. She had a young and sickly daughter to look after, a daughter that would die a few months later when La Fayette was still in America. She furthermore was pregnant with their second child and Paris was on fire with rumours. Newspapers printed rumours about La Fayette’s death on the field or something similar every other day and she often had no possibility of hearing from her husbands for months and months (before La Fayette’s first return to France they had not heard from one another for roughly eight months). The news of the death of their oldest child Henriette reached La Fayette so late that he send Adrienne many letters asking about Henriette, asking if she was well, long after Henriette was deceased. But despite all of it, Adrienne put up a brave face in public and never complaint. In general, whether she agreed with her husband or nor, weather she liked what he did or not, she never criticised him in public, never embarrassed or questioned him in front of others.

After the conclusion of the war in America La Fayette and Adrienne together with their children moved into their own home. They were, for people of their time and status, very engaged parents. They started hosting their “American Dinners” on Mondays and Adrienne was also included in La Fayette’s “Plantation-Project”. La Fayette kept a lively correspondence with George Washington but Adrienne also exchanged letters with Washington. There is one lovely, humours account by Washington in a letter to La Fayette dated September 30, 1779:

“(...) But at present must pray your patience a while longer, till I can make a tender of my most respectful compliments to the Marchioness. Tell her (if you have not made a mistake, & offered your own love instead of hers to me) that I have a heart susceptable of the tenderest passion, & that it is already so strongly impressed with the most favourable ideas of her, that she must be cautious of putting loves torch to it; as you must be in fanning the flame. But here again methinks I hear you say, I am not apprehensive of danger—My wife is young—you are growing old & the atlantic is between you—All this is true, but know my good friend that no distance can keep anxious lovers long asunder, and that the Wonders of former ages may be revived in this—But alas! will you not remark that amidst all the wonders recorded in holy writ no instance can be produced where a young Woman from real inclination has prefered an old Man—This is so much against me that I shall not be able I fear to contest the prize with you—yet, under the encouragement you have given me I shall enter the list for so inestimable a jewell.”

This is just such a funny, carefree, teasing letter between the three of them. Its adorable. But these carefree times soon came to an end with the onset of the French Revolution (you could argue that the Revolution had already begun long prior to 1789 but in that year it rapidly gained speed).

La Fayette entangled himself in the political and military matters of the day and when everything started to go down the hill (from his perspective at least) he tried to fled to America and got caught before he even could reach a harbour. Adrienne and the children stayed behind in France. Now, it had became some sort of custom that the women of (aristocrat) man who fled France during the Revolution “divorced” her husbands. (“Divorce” because these divorces were often not real civil divorces in accordance with the law but more a sort of public separation from their “treacherous and anti-republican” husbands that could get these women a passport and/or out of prison. It also opened them the opportunity to marry again later in life.) Somebody proposed a divorce to Adrienne and she was absolutely repelled by the idea. She had married La Fayette for better and for worse and she would not, not under any circumstance divorce her husband. Period. In fact, she started signing all her papers with “la femme de Lafayette”, “the wife of Lafayette”. After and eventful and fearful time, Adrienne was eventually released from her prison in France. She gathered her two daughters (her son was safe in America with his tutor) and went to Austria were La Fayette was still imprisoned in Olmütz. She had some family connections to the court in Vienna and eventually obtained the permission of sharing her husbands imprisonment. Although accounts vary, all accounts agree that Olmütz was a true hell-hole. Adrienne and her children were treated better than La Fayette  - but the treatment was still not good. Soon Adrienne became ill and the prison doctor could not really do anything. Adrienne was told that she was free to go, leave this place behind, find a good doctor, settle down somewhere more comfortable. Nobody wanted to see her suffer or even die. The only stipulation, if she would leave now she was not allowed to ever return – and with that Adrienne stayed and suffered and hasted her death because she would not leave her husband behind. In my opinion her sacrifice at that moment made La Fayette understand just how incredible his wife was. He never forgot what she endured for him and her actions probably lead their relationship to unknown heights.

After they were eventually all released from prison they settled first in Danish-Holstein and then in the Netherlands before returning to France. Adrienne managed to regain a lot of the property that they had previously lost during the Revolution. Although she was successful in that regard, her health (and beauty) was forever ruined. Despite all that she took great joy in seeing her children marry and becoming a grandmother. When Adrienne died on December 24, 1807 La Fayette was absolutely shattered. He wrote a very, very long and very, very sad letter to a friend, retelling Adrienne’s last days and expressing his grieve:

“As yet you have always found me stronger than circumstances, but now this event is stronger than me. Never shall I recover from it. During the thirty - four years of an union in which her tenderness, her goodness, the elevation of her mind, charmed, adorned, honoured my life, I felt myself so used to all that she was to me, that I could not distinguish it from my own existence. She was fourteen, and I was sixteen, when her heart amalgamated itself with everything that could interest me. I knew I loved her, I knew I needed her, but it is only now that I can distinguish what life which I had thought was to have been entirely devoted to worldly matters. (...)”

The letter is really long but so worth the read if you are interested. Really! It is such an honest, open, affectionate and reflected statement of their relationship. Adrienne’s last words were “Je suis toute à vous” (I am all yours) and La Fayette had these words inscribed on a miniature of Adrienne that he constantly had upon his person. Here is an account of the portrait from Jules Germain Cloquets book “Recollections of the Private Life of General Lafayette, etc”:

“In his children he cherished the memory of their mother, (Mademoiselle de Noailles,) whom he had loved most tenderly, and whose name he never mentioned but with visible emotion. One day during his last illness, I surprised him kissing her portrait, which he always wore suspended to his neck in a small gold medallion. Around the portrait were the words, “Je suis à vous ,” and on the back was engraved this short and touching inscription, “ Je vous fus donc une douce compagne: eh bien ! benissez moi .” I have since been informed that regularly every morning Lafayette ordered Bastien [his valet] to leave the room, in which he shut himself up, and taking the portrait in both hands, looked at it earnestly, pressed it to his lips, and remained silently contemplating it for about a quarter of an hour. Nothing was more disagreeable to him than to be disturbed during this daily homage to the memory of his virtuous partner.”

I hope you have/had an awesome day!