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#but i WILL do my best to do it before the episode on tuesday
lovecolibri · 2 years
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SaL anon here bestie and sorry I missed our usual good luck wishes last night, work is kicking my ass this week and since there's a conference till Friday I'm working night's as well. A shame too because it wouldn't have been necessary (love when that happens) since it was soooo good!! Yes there was way more Owen and Nazi's than I'd like but at least I enjoyed watching the agent in charge barely managing not to roll her eyes whenever he spoke. Even his talk with Tommy was fun (not getting over
the "you weren't in it" line anytime soon, the delivery was perfect 😆😆😆). In fact the entire Tommy storyline us such a delight, loved watching her flounder with Trevor while her work kids giggles in the ambulance. And I cackled out loud at the dinner when Evie and Izzy introduced themselves, it had such The Shining vibes, intentional or not. On a side note who does Gina Torres's hair?? Like mostly we see a work bun but when they go all out with the styling it's a damn masterpiece, nobody should look that good with all their hair on one side of their head). 
And of course the Tarlos this episode was perfect. I'm so relieved they didn't turn Iris into an obstacle, it was looking grim for a sec. But all the Tarlos scenes were so sweet and loving, even when they were meant to be funny. I won't say too much cause I feel like we can get a song out of this  this episode. But i'm looking forward to next week (with more Paul, Marjan, and Mateo please)!!
Hi my friend! I’m glad to hear from you, but sorry things are so busy right now! I had a rough week too with me and my mom both having our vehicles out of order at the same time and a boss that was difficult about letting me work from home a few times 🙄. ANYWAY, I hope you’re free to relax soon!
I know I bitch about Owen but I do like him when they let him focus on the job and his team and his scenes with Tommy are always so good! Their whole conversation this episode had me laughing, especially her face when she tells him he’s not in the dream 🤣 And the FBI agent was all of us rolling our eyes, but that scene was also pretty funny with him doing all that work and then not turning the tracker on. Unfortunately that’s about the only good thing to come out of this arc because so far I’m just bored with it. I do not care about this biker gang at all. Zero percent interested in this storyline. Damian Darhk hangs at a white supremist bar? Color me shocked 🙄
I do agree that Tommy’s storyline is an absolute delight so far! Part of that is because I really enjoy D.B Woodside, but I’m enjoying the character, he and Gina have some great chemistry, and I’m loving Nancy’s take on the whole thing. Breanna has SUCH good delivery and she plays so well off Gina and Ronen. And Gina’s hair is always stunning and I love that they find new ways to do it, since most shows, especially procedurals with the characters in uniform a lot of the time, typically pick one, maybe two styles if they do a “work” style and “home” style, (as you can see with Grace and Nancy) and that’s it unless there is a fancy event and then you get one episode with “fancy” style. But Tommy has had a lot of different looks and I love that we get to see that!
I’m also really enjoying what they’re doing with Iris. Even with all the (easily avoidable) plotholes this “new” backstory created, I think what we are going to ultimately get out of it is going to be worth it (insert *don’t blow this for us.gif* here). I really enjoyed how Carlos made sure to remind TK before Iris arrived that she’s blunt but not malicious, and that TK really takes that to heart and when he’s spiraling about what she said, it never comes up or is played that she said something to upset TK, but that she inadvertently hit a nerve. And out of that, we get such a good Tarlos scene that really shows their growth in being vulnerable with each other and committing to talking things out. Love that for them and for us! Also, can we talk about the CONSTANT soft touches because they are killing me with the gentle, casual intimacy and domesticity. Carlos calling TK “dude”? TK affectionately telling Carlos to shut up while blushing and rolling his eyes fondly? I’m just watching all their scenes like *chinhands* 😍 I’m looking forward to getting hit with the angst and tension next week, and I can’t wait to see what song you come up with for this week. It’s been AGES since we had something to work with!
If there is one complaint it’s that, as you mentioned, there is NOT ENOUGH Marjan, Mateo, and Paul. We’ve got three big storylines going into the opening of the season, Owen, Tommy, and Carlos. Judd is mixed into Owen’s and to some extent Tommy’s storyline, Grace and Nancy (and TK a tiny bit) are involved in Tommy’s storyline right now, and Carlos’ storyline is of course involving TK and Iris and may ultimately involve a little Owen and/or Judd if TK needs someone to talk to, plus we know TK helps Gabriel out. Soooo, where does that leave our other three “main” characters? It seems like if the storyline isn’t about them personally, they aren’t involved and I haaaaate that!! I want to know more about them, yes, and I WANT them to have their own personal storylines too, but they should get to be involved in the other character’s storylines outside of just work as well! We KNOW they have 126 hangs so they are all supposed to be super close, but I feel like we just don’t see that with them being as involved in the storylines outside of the firehouse. Which is one of the reasons I’m irritated at Owen having a storyline outside the firehouse because the other two main storylines right now are outside the firehouse and especially since it’s the start of the whole season, it would be nice if his storyline involved the 126 and let us see more of the crew, OR that Owen’s storyline was pushed to later in the season and we got someone else having a storyline focus, or just the 2 storylines right now, and more emergencies. This episode only had the one, ONE emergency this episode, and a blip of Grace being on the phone. It’s like...the opposite problem OG is having right now where they have so little going on for the main characters that the emergencies are taking up too much time (while still not showing us the team doing work, just looooong ass set-ups and focus on the guest character’s for the emergency), while LS has so much going on for the characters that there isn’t time for emergencies. Which circles back to not seeing Paul, Marjan, and Mateo as much because we mostly see them on calls when the episode’s storyline isn’t directly about them. It’s irritating that this is STILL an issue for these three characters in particular this many seasons in, but I do know they have said we ARE getting some central episodes for those three at some point, so fingers crossed we get more of them sooner rather than later. And any time we want to work them more into the personal scenes for other characters that would be great! Why don’t we see TK and Paul and Carlos going out? When can we get “danger magnets” TK and Marjan trying to one-up each other during a group night out? Why couldn’t Owen’s big storyline involve Mateo? Or Paul or Marjan? They are SUCH interesting characters and I NEED more of them! And Owen is always at his best when he’s in Good Dad Mode, or Competent Captain Mode, instead of Main Character Who Can Do Everything Syndrome Mode.
ANYWAY, I’m enjoying the season so far, I actually laughed out loud MULTIPLE times last night watching this episode, and I’m ready to enjoy the wild ride! 
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A media literacy handbook for Israel-Gaza
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Next Tuesday (Oct 31) at 10hPT, the Internet Archive is livestreaming my presentation on my recent book, The Internet Con.
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Media explainers are a cheap way to become an instant expert on everything from billionaire submarine excursions to hellaciously complex geopolitical conflicts, but On The Media's "Breaking News Consumers' Handbooks" are explainers that help you understand other explainers:
https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/otm/segments/breaking-news-consumers-handbook-israel-and-gaza-edition-on-the-media
The latest handbook is an Israel-Gaza edition. It doesn't aim to parse fine distinctions over the definition of "occupation" or identify the source of shell fragments. Rather, it offers seven bullet points' worth of advice on weighing all the other news you hear about the war:
https://media.wnyc.org/media/resources/2023/Oct/27/BNCH_ISRAEL_GAZA_EDITION_1.pdf
I. "Headlines are obscured by the fog of war"
Headline writers have a hard job under the best of circumstances – trying to snag your interest in a few words. Headlines can't encompass all the nuance of a story, and they are often written by editors, not the writers who produced the story. Between the imperatives for speed and brevity and the broken telephone between editors and writers, it's easy for headlines to go wrong, even when no one is attempting to mislead you. Even reliable outlets will screw up headlines sometimes – and that likelihood goes way up in times like these. You gotta read the story, not just the headline.
II. Know red flags for bullshit
The factually untrue information that spreads furthest tends to originate with a handful of superspreader accounts. Whether these people are Just Wrong or malicious disinfo peddlers, they share a few characteristics that should trip your BS meter and prompt extra scrutiny:
High-frequency posting
Emotionally charged framing
Posts that purport to be summaries or excerpts from news outlets, but do not include links to the original
The phrase "breaking news" (no one has that many scoops)
III. Don't trust screenshots
Screenshots of news stories, tweets, and other social media should come with links to the original. It's just too damned easy to fake a screenshot.
IV. "Know your platform"
It used to be that Twitter got a lot of first-person accounts from people in the thick of crises, while Facebook and Reddit contained commentary and reposts. Today, Twitter is just another aggregator. This time around, there's lots of first-person, real-time reporting coming off Telegram (it runs well on old phones and doesn't chew up batteries). Instagram is widely used in both Israel and the West Bank.
V. "Crisis actors" aren't a thing
People who attribute war images to "crisis actors" are either deluded or lying. There's plenty of ways to distort war news, but paying people to pretend to be grieving family members is essentially unheard of. Any explanation that involves crisis actors is a solid reason to permanently block that source.
VI. There's plenty of ways to verify stuff that smells fishy
TinEye, Yandex and Google Image Search are all good tools for checking "breaking" images and seeing if they're old copypasta ganked from earlier conflicts (or, you know, video-games). The fact that an image doesn't show up in one of these searches doesn't guarantee its authenticity, of course.
VII. Think before you post
Israel-Gaza is the most polluted media pool yet. Don't make it worse.
There's plenty more detail on this (especially on the use of verification tools) in Brooke Gladstone's radio segment:
https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/otm/episodes/on-the-media-breaking-news-consumers-handbook-israel-gaza-edition
The media environment sucks, and warrants skepticism and caution. But we also need to be skeptical of skepticism itself! As danah boyd started saying all the way back in 2018, weaponized media literacy leads to conspiratorialism:
https://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2018/03/09/you-think-you-want-media-literacy-do-you.html
Remember, the biggest peddlers of "fake news" are also the most prolific users of the term. For a lot of these information warriors, the point isn't to get you to believe them – they'll settle for you believing nothing. "Flood the zone with bullshit" is Steve Bannon's go-to tactic, and it's one that his acolytes have picked up and multiplied.
It's important to be a critical thinker, but there's plenty of people who've figured out how to weaponize a critical viewpoint and turn it into nihilism. Remember, the guy who wrote How To Lie With Statistics was a tobacco industry shill who made his living obfuscating the link between smoking and cancer. It's absolutely possible to lie with statistics, but it's also possible to use statistics to know the truth, as Tim Harford explains in his 2021 must-read book The Data Detective:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/04/how-to-truth/#harford
There's a world of difference between being misled and being brainwashed. A lot of today's worry about "disinformation" and "misinformation" has the whiff of a moral panic:
https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2023/10/are-we-having-a-moral-panic-over-misinformation.html
It's possible to have a nuanced view of this subject – to take steps to enure you're not being tricked without equating crude tricks like sticking a fake BBC chyron on a 10-year-old image with unstoppable mind-control:
https://sts-news.medium.com/youre-doing-it-wrong-notes-on-criticism-and-technology-hype-18b08b4307e5
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/28/fog-o-war/#breaking-news
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querenciasturniolo · 1 year
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guest ⮕ m.s.
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word count: 1.6k
warnings: swearing, awkward flirting, embarrassment
summary: request
a/n: this was requested by @rainsoakedphoenix, and i had SO much fun writing it (even though it took ages) ! sorry for the mix up, i hope this works 😭💓 i wrote this while watching the new season of heartstopper, which is AMAZING by the way
(this is like 89% dialogue, which i’m sorry if it wasn’t your vision, but i tried my best 🤞🏻)
everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.
“Good morning campers, and welcome to the Cut the Camera podcast. I’m Nick Sturniolo.”
“I’m Matt Sturniolo.”
“And I’m Chris.”
Your eyes flickered between the three of them, reaching your hands up to adjust your headphones. Nick finally turned his head to you.
“We have a special guest for this episode, introduce yourself.” He said.
You looked at one of the cameras and smiled, lifting your hand to wave.
“Hey, I’m Y/n.” You said, wincing slightly. “Jesus, that was awkward, someone else talk now.” Matt pulled a face, you looking over at him and mocking him playfully.
“Like some of you know, Y/n is one of our good friends from home. She hasn’t been in much of our content because she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing, but that’s fine, we love her anyway.” Nick said. You scoffed and leaned back in the diner seat, pulling the mic with you.
“It’s not that I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m just an awkward piece of shit.” You said, shrugging your shoulders. “S’not my fault your fans love watching me suffer.”
“Well that turned dark. Anyway, Y/n, why don’t you introduce the topic.” Chris said. You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest.
“Today we’re talking about how the four of us met, and how I’ve continued to endure their torture for so long.” You paused, Matt’s jaw slack as he looked over at you. You grinned and shook your head. “No, I’m kidding. They’re pretty great, I’m glad they’ve tortured me for this long.”
Chris scoffed. “You love us and you know it.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what I said, but if you want to get all mushy already, then yes, I love you guys.” You said.
Nick awed next to you, Matt leaning over and bumping your shoulder with his.
“You’ve always been the lovey-dovey one. Y/n has called me at like six o’clock on a random Tuesday before just to tell me she was thinking about me.” Nick said. You covered your face with your hands and groaned.
“God, why must you expose me? Let them think I’m dark and gloomy.” You grumbled.
Matt scoffed then, the audio coming through your headphones clear enough for you to peek an eye through your fingers. “None of them think you’re dark and gloomy, they’ve seen you in videos before, dude. Accept the fact that you’re a softy.” He teased, your jaw practically hitting the floor.
The conversation went on like this for about twenty minutes, the four of you talking and bickering back and forth. The conversation ran off the tracks quite a few times, and Matt tried reeling it back in as best as possible.
“So, back to the topic at hand—”
“Nick, what did you say?” Chris asked, completely cutting Matt off.
“I was just saying that was bullshit.” Nick said.
“Guys, what are we even—”
“How is what I just said bullshit?” Chris asked, the both of them in their own little world.
Matt sighed and looked at you, shrugging his shoulders. You turned to face him fully, resting your arm on the back of the booth. “So anyway, what’s an average day in the life of Matt Sturniolo?” You asked. Matt frowned and adjusted himself to face you completely.
“What?” He asked, pulling the mic towards him.
“What’s an average day in your life?” You repeated, raising your eyebrows.
Matt’s frown relaxed as he thought, shrugged, and finally spoke. “I’d say; wake up, shower, eat, go to meetings, come home, go to bed, repeat.” He held his hands out to count on his fingers, your eyebrows raising as you listened, no emotion on your face.
“Wow, riveting.”
Matt scoffed and shook his head, opening his hands and gesturing them towards you. “Please, tell me about your extraordinary day to day schedule, I’d love to hear it.”
“Of course you would. I happen to have a day packed full of important tasks.” You said, lifting your chin sarcastically.
“Oh, really? Name one.” He said, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.
“Well, I work.” You started, Matt nodding and pursing his lips.
“Oh, you work, do you? And what do you do after that?” He asked, your eyebrows lifting and your jaw going slack.
“Well, if you must know, after work I go home and eat and then shower and go to bed.” You said matter of factly, Matt staring at you completely unamused.
“That has got to be the most boring play-by-play I’ve ever heard.”
You rolled your eyes. “Oh, and yours was better, Matt?”
“I think so. What do you do for work?” He asked, the corner of his lips turned up in a half smile.
You sighed and shrugged your shoulders. “Retail. It’s not the most glorious job, but it gets the bills paid.”
“Yikes, customer service.” He winced, to which you shrugged your shoulders again.
“Like I said, not the most glorious job. I deal with a lot of dickheads, but the regulars are nice.” You said, grabbing your cup and taking a sip of it. You jutted your chin at him. “It’s your turn to ask a question, I don’t think they’re gonna stop any time soon.”
Matt hummed and thought for a moment. “Um, what’s your favorite color?”
“That’s really the best you could come up with, Matt?” You said, a laugh leaving your lips as he looked at you in mock offense.
“At least it’s not as mundane as ‘what do you do everyday’, Y/n. Cut me some slack, I’m trying here.” He retorted, your hands going up before you answered.
“It’s blue.”
“Lame.” He said, your eyebrows furrowing.
“Matt, that’s literally your favorite color, too.” You said, Matt scoffing.
“You don’t know me.” He mumbled, a laugh bubbling out of you as you adjusted in your seat, scooting the slightest bit towards him.
“I’ve known you my entire life, you dork. That argument is invalid.” You said.
Matt pursed his lips and shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.”
You rolled your eyes and shook your head, really studying him for the first time in awhile. You reached forward and lightly pinched a lock in your fingers and twirled it. “Your hair is getting long.” You said. There was something in Matt’s eyes that you couldn’t quite place, but the apples of his cheeks were tinged pink.
“Yeah, I need to cut it soon.” He said, his voice quiet.
You nodded your head, letting go of the lock of hair and resting your hand back on the booth centimeters away from his. “If that’s what you want.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he lightly jabbed the tips of your fingers with his.
You paused, realizing how passive it had sounded. You immediately shook your head. “No, oh my God, nothing! It was just an observation.” You said, resting your hand on his.
“So you wouldn’t care if I shaved my head?” He asked, mischief glinting in his eyes. Somehow, your fingers ended up entwined, but both of your palms were resting on the back of the booth. It was comfortable, but new, and you didn’t know exactly how to navigate this. You shrugged your shoulders and pulled your headphones off of your head and rested them around your neck.
“I wouldn’t care, no. Just because I think your hair looks cute long, doesn’t mean I’m going to freak out if you change it.” You said honestly. Matt blinked, processing your words before he replied.
“You think my hair looks cute long?” He asked. You nodded your head, ignoring the burning in your face.
“That is what I just said, yes.” You said, trying to sound like it was no big deal
“Wow, admitting you think I’m cute on recording? That’s crazy.” You could tell he was teasing, and by the color of his cheeks, you could tell he didn’t mind.
You cocked an eyebrow, tilting your head to the side as your smile grew. “Are we just going to ignore the fact that you’ve been practically holding my hand for this entire conversation?”
“I haven’t?” He said, immediately pulling his hand from yours and resting it in his lap, his eyes darting downward. You smiled and shook your head, teasingly gesturing around the room.
“Matt, it’s literally on camera, from multiple angles.” You said, Matt’s eyes meeting yours. He studied your face and eventually smiled and rolled his eyes, the awkward tension he was radiating before slowly dissipating.
“Yeah, okay, whatever.” He mumbled, adjusting his headphones before meeting your eyes again. You opened your mouth to speak, but were quickly interrupted.
“Oh my God, this is honestly disgusting.”
You whipped your head around to Nick, your eyes wide as he met you with an incredulous stare.
“You guys have been flirting like, the entire time. I’m surprised I haven’t thrown up yet.” He finished, your face on fire as your eyes flickered to Chris’ amused smile.
“Honestly, Nick and I stopped arguing like, five minutes ago. We just wanted to see how long it would take the two of you to notice.” You looked back at Matt, who was awkwardly laughing into his hands and shaking his head. “Clearly, way too fucking long. Can we get back to the topic of our joint childhoods now?” Chris finished.
You cleared your throat and nodded, adjusting yourself in the booth so you were facing forward and your shoulder was to Matt.
“Where were we again?” You asked, Nick jumping into the conversation effortlessly.
The rest of the podcast went smoothly, the four of you in almost perfect harmony for the rest of the time, the little embarrassing interruption nearly forgotten.
It was nearly forgotten until Matt’s hand rested over yours under the table and entwined with yours. You felt your face heat up and the corners of your mouth twitch, but you didn’t say anything or make anything obvious.
Matt was your best friend, and as affectionate as the two of you were, hand holding was never on the list until now—and honestly, you didn’t mind.
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vaaaaaiolet · 2 months
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It's the RPD's annual Secret Santa, and Leon's at his wit's end finding the perfect gift for his work crush. No competition, of course, except for the part where you make him promise not to bring something lame. Leon's got a week. He can do this. Right?
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gn / m, fluff, romance, humor, leon is a SWEETHEART, you guys work at the RPD but you're leon's senior and also love reading??, no outbreak, inspired by the teapot episode of The Office lol, tw: claustrophobia
word count: 1.5k // read on ao3
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a/n: vivi try not to mention christmas challenge go!!! @k1ssaphobe this one's for you <3 literally the ugliest effing banner i've ever made i'm SO SORRY but this completely destroyed my writer's block. i had so much fun <3
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It’s all been downhill since Leon plucked your name out of a glass jar last week. Shit. Multiply that times three, rain down a couple red and green sprinkles for holiday spirit, and you have a great representation of how prepared Leon feels about being assigned the most crippling crush he’s had since high school for the RPD’s annual Secret Santa: you. 
Shit, indeed.
His hands shake like tremolo as he rereads your name printed on his little slip of paper, and Leon decides right then and there that the best way to go about this is to not go about it at all. Plain and simple. 
“Aren’t you excited?” you gush after your turn to draw from the jar. Poor you, you’d taken his jittery hands as enthusiasm. 
Leon grins tightly. “For sure, yeah, I um… I love Christmas. Really excited. You get who you wanted?” 
“Hey, no cheating. Not even with me, rookie.” You scrunch your face, clutching your paper to your chest. “Secret Santa’s secret. But it’s no secret that you’ve got to give it your all, so no lousy gifts allowed, got it?”
Well, there’s that plan gone. It’s back to police academy basics: Keep It Simple, Stupid. 
There’s nothing to overthink about making a good impression as the newest RPD recruit, Leon gaslights himself while haunting the Target holiday aisle on Monday night. You routinely save him from Irons’ infamous wrath, so it’s only natural that Leon spends all of Tuesday in a stupor at his desk, definitely not thinking of how he could never pay you back the favor with a silly Secret Santa gift. 
Wednesday rolls by and his coffee from yesterday sits in the break room, cold and overstirred next to today’s breakfast crumbs. How many times has Leon watched you sip tea at your desk? Five, six? 
Your eyes sparkle over the rim of your cup when he asks you about your weekend. Really, he doesn’t get the hate for small talk. There’s nothing small about the smile that bunches up your cheeks when he cracks a stupid joke about the weather, and more often than not, Leon finds himself waterboarding his notes app with the names of all the novels you drop mid-conversation so he can binge their Sparknotes over the weekend. So it goes, according to Kurt Vonnegut.
Ugh, he should have paid more attention in English. What the hell is an allegory anyway? Leon spends all of Thursday browsing your Goodreads profile and wracking his head over the hefty price tags attached to your TBR list. His wallet makes for a terrible wingman. 
But really, finding the perfect gift is no sweat at all. Leon is absolutely nonplussed (according to his 50th vocabulary-related Google search) when he steps into the RPD elevator on Friday morning with a clumsily wrapped, candy cane-striped bundle in his arms. 
“Hold it plea- Leon!”  
Liar, liar, pants on fire – he’s totally shitting his pants when you barely make it inside before the doors snap shut. 
“Thanks,” you gasp. 
Leon nods stiffly, his cheeks growing warm, and jams the second-floor button with his knuckle.
As the elevator starts its maddeningly slow climb, you hum, rocking back and forth in your snow boots. You’re cradling a package of your own, something four-cornered and fairly small. Leon, however, feels like he’s holding a bomb, the object of his affections standing less than three feet from his radius of destruction. How are you so carefree right now? You’ve probably got this gifting thing in the bag and he most definitely doesn’t. 
Leon can see everything unfold the moment he enters the office. You’ve had your gift planned months beforehand, his gift is going to be horrifically lame when you open it, everyone’s going to clap politely but you’re going to hate him forev-
And then the elevator plunges into pitch black.
“Oh my god!” 
Who screamed louder, Leon doesn’t want to find out.
The elevator shudders to a complete stop. Leon’s mental spiral of doom helpfully supplies him with an image of you two dangling in midair, suspended on wires. Maybe this is the universe saving him from delivering the worst Secret Santa gift of his life.
Leon blinks in the darkness, waiting for your unflappable voice to cut through the silence and figure a way out, headstrong as always, except you don’t, and Leon strains his ears to hear what’s surely not what he thinks it is, a whisper that sounds an awful lot like: “Leon, I don’t want to die.”
“What?”
“We’re gonna die,” you whimper. “I don’t wanna die.”
Your voice floats up from a lot lower than he remembers your head being, so he crouches down to find you with your arms hugged to your chest. You’re huddled against the wall, breathing all shallow. The package in your arms lies forgotten somewhere in the abyss.
“Hey, hey, nobody’s dying.” Leon reaches out to find your hand. “What’s the matter?”
“I have, cl-clau-”
“Claustrophobia?” He remembers that one well. Wishes he didn’t. 
You nod fitfully.
“The dark doesn’t help either, huh?” he whispers, craning his head to look at the busted bulb on the ceiling. “Damn.”
Your palm grows colder and clammier in his hand by the minute, and the shakiness in your breathing is starting to worry him. Your head pops above your knees when you hear rustling in the shadows, and then the telltale Christmastime cacophony of wrapping paper being torn to shreds. 
“What are you…?”
“Being resourceful,” Leon grits, tearing his Secret Santa gift open. He fumbles with its contents for a second, slipping something into a plastic compartment. “It’s not the best, but…”
The elevator blooms with soft, golden light.
“...it’ll do.”
“What’s this?” you murmur in awe, cupping your hands around the tiny book light Leon holds. 
“My Secret Santa gift,” he chuckles sheepishly. “I kind of, um, blanked. I’m also really bad at giving gifts, so there’s also this,” he says, pulling out a mug from the heap of trashed wrapping paper.
When I Think About Books, I Touch My Shelf, it announces with impunity. 
Leon blushes when you giggle at the inscription. Things always look better online than in person, rookie mistake. But at least you’re breathing better now. 
“This is amazing,” you laugh, cradling the cup like there’s warmth inside. 
“Not so amazing now that I’ve opened all the packaging.”
“Your Secret Santa won’t mind at all, trust me, not with a gift like this- ‘touch my shelf’, you’re unbelievable! Tell me where you got it.”
He shakes his head. 
“Leon Scott Kennedy, if you don’t stop gatekeeping this incredible mug and this super useful book light, by the way, I’m going to tell Irons you spilled coffee all over his desk. I can be very convincing, y’know.” You cross your arms decidedly, waiting. 
“There’s no need for all that!” he protests. 
“That was a promise, Leon, not a threat.”
“C’mon, be reasonable here.”
“You’re still not telling me.” 
“It’s for you, silly.” Leon tilts his head, face heating up faster than the book light bulb, “You’re my Secret Santa.” 
He must be hallucinating the pink in your cheeks.
“Oh,” you breathe. 
“Yes, oh,” Leon teases, scooching to sit next to you. “I couldn’t think of anything,” he confesses, “so I just went with the basics. I know you read and I know you really miss your old tea mug, the one that broke, right? You’re my gifting competition and I got nervy from how sure you were about your person’s gift. So, um, I played safe.” Leon finishes lamely and squeezes his eyes shut, hoping the light doesn’t also illuminate the shame radiating from his body. 
And then he feels the press of an unbelievably soft kiss on his cheek.  
“It’s much better than what I’ve got,” he hears. 
His eyes fly open. Words don’t form right in his throat when you reach out for the package you dropped when the lights went out. Wrapping paper falls apart neatly in your hands (what don’t you do perfectly?) and you unveil a mini waffle iron, proportioned perfectly for somebody always running late without breakfast. Somebody like Leon.
“You keep missing breakfast and Irons is on my ass about saving you food all the time, so I guess took the practical route too,” you shuffle your feet, bashful all of a sudden. “And um, my gift’s kind of useless if we never make it out. Sorry.”
He fingers the tag in wonder. 
Merry Christmas, Leon! There’s a timer so you don’t burn them :) xoxo, your Secret Santa!
You’re so goddamn sweet. You’re perfect and thoughtful and it’s all your fault that Leon didn’t have the faintest clue what to give you. Think, Leon, think. He knows he’s not this stupid. What do you give to somebody who has everything? 
A kiss. One that’s all smiles and just as sweet as the way you kiss him back, because screw Secret Santa.
It’s hard to keep secrets when you’re Leon’s favorite one.
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psst, find more of my work here!
comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3 take care and i love you!
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triptuckers · 9 months
Text
wild flowers - percy jackson
Request: yes! "Can I request a platonic Percy Jackson x Child of Demeter!Reader based off the new Disney series? Where Child of Demeter!Reader is significantly older than Percy (17/18 maybe?) and is the one to welcome him to camp instead of Luke. Reader is more gentle and understanding to Percy's questions and is in general sort of a parent figure in the camp?" Pairing:  percy jackson x demeter!reader (platonic) Summary:  you welcome the newest kid at camp half-blood Warnings:  none (omg??) Word count:  1.1K A/N: was excited when I saw the new episode will be out on Tuesday but then I looked at the time zone and it's 3 am for me so I'll still watch it on wednesday :') thanks for your request, enjoy!
you try not to look away as percy, the newest addition to camp half-blood, nearly shoots another camper. he falls to the ground due to the force of the bow.
'alright.' you say, walking over to see if percy's okay. 'so not archery.'
'I didn't mean to!' says percy, looking at the kids who had flattened themselves to the ground to avoid being shot.
'of course you didn't, they know that. can I have the bow?' you say.
percy quickly shoves the bow in your hands as well as the quiver of arrows. you hand them back to the apollo kid who was teaching him with a thanks and an apologetic smile.
'see, I suck at this.' says percy. 'I'm not good at anything.'
'hey, that's not true.' you say. 'everyone is good at something. c'mon, I'll take you to my favorite spot at camp.'
that gets his attention. 'your favorite spot?'
'yep. right this way.'
you lead him away from the archery field. you can tell he's curious. you take him to the strawberry field, where some of the satyrs and your siblings are tending to the plants.
you walk past the strawberries to a field of grass where wild flowers grow.
'it's pointless.' says percy as the two of you sit down.
you frown. 'what is?'
he gestures around. 'all of this. I'm not one of you. it's clear there's something wrong with me. none of this matters because my dad won't reveal himself, he doesn't care. my mom is gone. I suck at archery. and I can't work in the forge. I can't do anything.'
you look at him. most kids are tough on themselves when they arrive. percy isn't any different.
'at least you didn't suck as much at archery than I did.' you say. 'contrary to you, I actually did hit someone when trying out archery '
percy's eyes widen. 'you did?'
you nod. 'apollo kids had to patch them up. luckily it wasn't that bad. but still I haven't touched a bow since. and I'm also not good at sword fighting. I only carry one because it's the weapon I suck the least with.'
'what if you suck at everything?' asks percy softly.
you smile at him. 'this is all normal. we all felt like this when we came here, regardless if we could already fight or not. and look at me, I still can't fight that well. I'm a joke compared to luke and clarisse if it comes to fighting. gods, even annabeth is better than me and she's your age.'
you point ahead to the strawberry fields. 'my cabin doesn't bring forth the best fighters. and that's okay. we're good at other things.' you say.
percy looks at your siblings, sure enough, not a lot of them carry weapons. maybe you do because you're head counsellor of your cabin.
'when did you find out who your mom was?' asks percy.
you sense he's not just curious about your godly heritage. he wants to know how long it would take before his father claims him. and he already knows there are unclaimed kids.
'for me it was pretty clear. I've always loved plants. I've got an impressive garden back at home.' you say. 'demeter claimed me my second day at camp.'
'so pretty fast...'
'for some kids it's fast. for some it's slow. some kids are very certain about who their godly parent is and sometimes they're right and sometimes they're not. you can't predict it with 100% accuracy.'
'did someone guess it correctly?'
'most of the times it's the athena kids who are right about their hunches. but they're athena kids of course, very smart. also a lot of ares kids are right. and for others it's a 50/50 chance. for instance, milo. everyone was convinced he was a hephaestus kid because he really liked to blow stuff up. turns out he's an athena kid. he's just really smart about blowing stuff up.'
'I bet I'm a kid of the god or failure or something. I'm just a regular kid, I'm not special. I don't have any impressive powers. not like you.'
'you think my powers are impressive?' you chuckle. 'I'm good with plants percy. over the years I've learned how to master those. but at first all I did was accidentally make flower patches.'
percy looks at you, frowning. 'you what?'
you laugh, then point to your shoes. they look like you've worn them every day for the past five years. which you have, somehow they won't wear down.
'these were a gift from my mom. if I don't wear them, flowers grow where I walk.'
'really?'
you nod and take them off. you get up and walk a circle around percy. and indeed, flowers grow where you put your feet down on the grass. you pick one and give it to percy, then put your shoes back on.
'it's the only thing I still can't master. maybe it's not something to be mastered. I'd ask my mom but the only time I saw her was when I was out fighting for my life. wasn't really the time to ask about flowers. she didn't even give me my shoes in person, just sent them here.'
you and percy are silent as you look out over the valley. you remember your first days at camp, how scared you were. you didn't know anyone, you were told your mom was a goddess, and you could never have a moment alone because there would always be someone who could find you based on the flowers you left behind.
'everyone here has been through what you're going through now.' you say. 'maybe they didn't experience it in the same way. I mean, you did kill the minotaur. but all of them have been confused, wondered about wether they belong, if there's something wrong with them. we all found our way in the end.'
'did you feel like you didn't belong?'
'sure. but then chiron explained to me it's all because of the gods. we've got dyslexia because our brain is wired in greek. the adhd is from our need to fight. it's all in our dna. just give it time, you'll belong. any other questions?'
'what do you do when you're not at camp?'
you smile. 'try not to run into any monsters and wait for the time to go to camp again. you'll find your family here, percy, trust me. now let's see if the aphrodite can teach you anything.'
you get up and offer your hand to percy. after pulling him to his feet, you start to walk toward the aphrodite cabin.
'you know, regardless of what cabin you belong to, you can always come to me if you have any questions.' you say.
percy smiles at you. 'thanks.'
A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rulesHere’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit/Max
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teddypickerry · 2 years
Note
Can you do a Jess Mariano blurb where the reader is helping Jess with his homework but he keeps trying to distract her by kissing her lips and neck? 😄 (think of the episode “teach me tonight” but with Jess and the reader dating and he’s kissing her like he kissed Rory in S3 EP10 when they’re walking and kissing)
𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 !
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pairing! jess mariano x gn reader
warnings! imply of sex (i think that’s it?)
word count! 833
a/n! took me forever ‘m sorry!!! this is also not my best work but back & writing for my boy is good enough for me. <3
the diner was quiet on the particular evening. despite the typical eight o'clock late dinner rush, the door were locked and a red 'closed' sign hung from the blue painted door. the only sound erupting throughout the small former hardware store was the sound of your voice reciting the words from the textbook balanced on your thighs. you were leaned back in your chair, your legs pressed against the table with the book pressed into them. your hair was falling in-front if your face which kept the attention of the boy who sat beside you everytime you pushed it behind your ear.  "and the trail of tears was what year?"
your head bopped up from its current slouched down position as your eyes caught glimpse of the dark haired boy sat beside you. he was leaned on the table, specifically over his book. his head rested on his palm as he held his head up from falling down in boredom.
"is your hair shorter? it looks shorter." your boyfriend was far from an idiot. but in this moment you honestly doubted him. jess was one of the smartest people you'd ever had the privilege of knowing. hell, he was way smarter than you. but here you were sat helping him with history... and geometry, and biology. it wasn't like you were the smartest person in school, but you got your fair share or a's. plus you knew how serious luke was about his nephew passing the twelfth grade. and you'd do anything to get your boyfriend on a good path.
"1828 and 1829." you explained to him simply before continuing onto the next page, him leaning closer to you. it wasn't hard for the smell of cheap cologne, cigarettes, and luke's laundry detergent to catch your attention. especially when you glanced up at your boyfriend's face far too close to your own. "i like it." he mumbled as he lightly pressed his finger to your face, pushing back the strand of hair that fell once more. no matter how long you'd been together, the small touches and glances still made you go mad. "you liked president andrew jackson's racist speech against the cherokee?"
"no," he rolled his eyes at your statement as you tried to diffuse the way he was making you feel on this tuesday evening. "your hair. it's a good length... and you know — i know all about good length."
his comment resulted in a laugh escaping your lips with a smirk growing on his face. jess felt accomplished for making you laugh, especially when you'd just spent half an hour explaining nonsense to him. "okay cmon, back to work." you ordered as he stayed in his exact position. you were about to scold him for not taking this study date seriously. but you lost time when his lips pressed to yours. your eyes immediately shut as your hands cupped his face. he deepened the kiss and leaned over the table to press into you even more. you found yourself getting lost in the kiss that warmed your soul. but before you could be taken by him, you pushed away and pressed your lips together. "jess, we're studying."
"okay we can study," he nodded as he positioned himself back on the chair and balanced a pencil between his fingers. which immediately caught your attention. "i'll start with the inside of your mouth and you can start with mine."
"jess," you hinted with a tone reaching annoyed. he let his smirk grow a bit before glancing around for a moment. "'mkay tell me more about the Indian Removal Act," he shrugged. you gave him a proud smile and muttered a "gladly" before opening the next page and reciting the next paragraph. you were only two and a half sentences in when you felt him move closer to you. and then some more... then some more.
it was when you finished the first paragraph that you felt his dark curls against your jaw as his lips connected with your neck. his arms wrapped around you as he continued to harass your neck with several kisses that would definitely leave a mark. something jess was certainly good at. "jess! we have to study!”
"no, i think you've got this stuff pretty much down." he mumbled as he pulled away for a second before you felt the feeling of his lips reaching your sweet spot. you held in a breath as you found yourself not fighting the feeling for a moment. "you need to learn this stuff if you're going to graduate, jess. please, work with me." you begged as he drew his face away slowly. just enough so that you could face one another. "and after, if you get a b... you might just get something starting with a b.”
the glow on the boy's face suddenly erupted with slightly wider eyes. he simply sat back as he sat his textbook in his lap, leaving only one arm behind your shoulders. "mkay, teach me tonight."
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jmdbjk · 1 month
Text
It's got that VIBE baby... like the friend-zone vibe.
WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT! Are You Sure? Episode 3...
I had trouble with the title of this post...
Jungkook's savage era
Jungkook: Tae, get off my lawn! (he means Jimin)
Puppy playdate!
But I went with the one I did because wow... what a difference between Episode 3 and the first two.
So here we are in Jeju and it's really gorgeous there. The villa they rented looked amazing.
My first impression after watching the entire episode: a whole different vibe than when Jimin and Jungkook were in Connecticut.
Examples:
Episode two, Jimin wants to jump in the shopping cart at Walmart and Jungkook says no, stop playing around, let's shop for ingredients "so I can cook you the best carbonara that ever passed between your lips."
Episode three, Jungkook and Tae run around like 5-year olds shooting a water pistol at Jimin's ass.
What was the difference? Tae's presence changed the dynamic and everyone went into friend mode. Episode 3 was less adulting and more silliness.
In no particular order...
This sequence sets the tone:
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Was this staged or spontaneous? The crew were seated at the restaurant when Jimin and Tae took off running with Jungkook close behind...but the drone was already in the air ready to catch it all.
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The drone camera man was ready!
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Locals minding their own business when the biggest celebs in all of Korea run past them, one cussing the other out ... probably thinking rich celebs got no sense, running through the streets of Jeju trying to feed each other... they'd be right I guess.
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They are back on the road to the accommodations and singing the explicit version of Seven while Jungkook is on the Harley behind them:
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🎶 Fucking you right 🎶 (in front of the church):
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Gratuitous shot of JK on the bike:
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Another...and he's wearing the same pants from the yacht in Connecticut.
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If Tuesday, Sept. 26 is the day they arrived in Jeju, Jungkook had just come back from NYC the day before. The man had to be tired.
Jimin wanted Jungkook to be hydrated and caffeinated. They drive thru Starbucks.
Tae never having gone through a drive thru before. What?!?
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They get to the villa, show us around... its stocked with everything, even JK's Mikrokosmos lamp...
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Except no Twinkies...
I'm not sure what Jimin is telling Tae to do here... script says go lay down so we can stage you having a bonding moment with JK? Or what? (just kidding).
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A moment of relaxing for Tae and JK... cuddle me dammit! Or was this a prank Jimin and Jungkook schemed so Jimin could get revenge on Tae with the water pistol? Really, I want to know. The chronology of the editing is giving me a headache.
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Nice. Swim trunks, nice...
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Which leads to swimming... and water pistols...and nakedness.
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That being said, what's up with Jimin having stomach issues so much? Back in April 2023, he said he wasn't well the day when he came on Weverse live at 3 a.m. when Like Crazy hit #1 on the BBHot100. This is getting concerning.
Again, a few people watching the hilarity...
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They were laughing SO hard. Jimin was laughing hard too even though he was the one being pelted with water!
Jimin got out of his soaked pants and then took a nap... on the hard floor, in front of the camera crew...
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What is this? Recycling wine bottles? Party party yeah? What?
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Then they went to the climbing wall/go kart place... Jungkook was IN HEAVEN!
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Jimin busts his lip while making Tae do the sandbag grab in mid air. Jimin can't catch a break.
At the go kart track, first thing we see is Jimin with a band aid on his face... what the fuck?
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Then the bandaid is gone:
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Jimin with a bandaid on his face at the beginning of the racing karts segment and then it disappearing at the end. In post-production they did not edit it chronologically. STOP REARRANGING THE TIMELINE!
iT mAkEs A bEtTeR StOrY... ok whatever. How about just tell us wtf happened instead? Or will we find out in the behinds?
Tae and Jimin race...JK has something to say about it...
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Mr. I'm-Fastest-To-The-Top-No-One-Can-Beat-Me-Wall-Climber isn't shading them because of a friendly race is he?
But the exchange after (I'm assuming this is after, but hell, who knows) ... Jungkook was a bit pissed. He really is jealous when Tae monopolizes Jimin. All is fine when he's playing around but let Tae take Jimin away from him and its time to throw hands!
And Tae understood this hahahahhaaa omg.
Episode 3 ends at the go kart track.
It was fun and funny. It was good to see them having fun. We all miss our Tannies all together and having three of them together is a treat. It WAS fun and I laughed a lot! But.
But this travel show series has been highly anticipated because we want to see Jimin and Jungkook together. We know they are close and we've been waiting so long to see them be themselves. So having Tae there, while it is great to see them together, he did change the dynamic. Definitely not the same vibe as the first two episodes.
We use words like very close, domestic, intimate, boyfriends, husbands, depending on how far each of us want to take it to describe Jimin and Jungkook. But we rarely say soulmates with these two.
The definition of soulmate is a close friend or romantic partner with whom one has a unique deep connection based on mutual understanding and acceptance, according to Merriam-Webster.
That describes Jimin and Jungkook perfectly. We always use the term soulmates about Jimin and Tae. Its true they have a level of friendship that is already automatic because of their culture and we know the history between them.
Yet, no matter what we describe Jimin and Jungkook's relationship, it is very clear that these two men are soulmates too. They take care of each other, they care about the well-being of each other. They are in tune with each other even if they disagree on something. They are vocal about all of this. They are very close. We need to start using soulmates more often with Jimin and Jungkook.
It does not describe Jungkook and Tae's relationship. At all.
At the start of this travel vlog business, JK wasn't sure what they were doing but by the end of their trip in the U.S. he was fully on board.
When I saw the first Jeju promo it was obvious to me he had taken co-ownership of this franchise too. I could tell by that attitude in his tone in the promo. Here was Tae... adamant to tag along after finding out two days before that he was being left out of a trip to Jeju. Never mind respecting that this was Jimin and Jungkook's project.
We felt the first two episodes were more "intimate" because we saw the little things... touches, tone of voice, the way they behave with each other, just their natural chemistry. Did they butt heads a little? Yes, but not the same way as what happens between Jungkook and Tae.
Jungkook knew what would happen.
Understandable he’d be taken off guard. Jungkook had to pivot. He did well with it ... until Tae monopolized Jimin.
I am looking forward to next week!
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yelena-bellova · 2 years
Text
Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter Six
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Chapter Six: Road Trip
Plot: Joel, Y/n and Ellie continue to make their way cross country, and Joel and Y/n’s truce is heavily tested.
Warnings: tlou ep.4 spoilers, language, insinuation of killing, mention of a p*rn magazine, guns, (16+)
Word Count: 7.1k
A/N: This chapter feels like filler, but there’s still lil’ nuggets that will come into play later. Thanks to HBO for throwing that curveball of a Friday episode, now I gotta hustle to get the next chapter out within two days 😂
As always, this series is 16+ and I will not be tagging anyone who does not have their age in their bio. Gotta look out for younger eyes 👀
I hope you all enjoy this one and prepare for the next one because….anyway, enjoy!
———————
June 2nd, 2002. Austin, Texas.
——————
Joel and Y/n had gone out for three weeks, equaling a total five dates. Between their respective work schedules and Joel being a parent, they had to get creative if they wanted to see each other. They’d meet on their lunch breaks or, if they were too busy, Joel would stop by the hardware store in dire need of help finding something and only Y/n could possibly help him. It gave them a good twenty minutes or so to wander the aisles together.
On a particularly slow Tuesday afternoon, Y/n was doing inventory. Joel and her had made plans to grab coffee on his way home and she was counting down the hours till he came through the door.
A small voice broke her out of her daydreams, “Excuse me?”
Y/n turned and met the face of a girl, no older than maybe thirteen. She had dark skin and a head full of curls pulled back with a scrunchie. She looked slightly out of breath, but determined.
“How can I help you?” Y/n asked curiously.
“Are you Y/n?”
She confusedly furrowed her brows, “Yeah…”
The girl huffed with a grin, “Okay, good. I asked, like, three other people where you were and they had no idea.”
Y/n awkwardly smiled along with her, “C-can I ask how you know my name?”
“Oh,” the girl snapped back to the current conversation, “I’m Sarah.”
“Sarah…” Y/n repeated, wracking her mental index of high school friend’s kids, before it hit her. Her eyes widened, “Wait…Sarah…Miller?”
She nodded, “Yeah.”
Y/n’s body locked up, to say she was surprised was an understatement. Joel had told her that he wanted to wait a while before introducing her to Sarah. He hadn’t had a serious girlfriend since Sarah’s mom and was trying to figure out the best way for them to meet. Y/n hadn’t taken any offense, she’d supported it, actually. She’d never dated anyone with a kid and she wanted to do everything as close to perfect as she could.
“D-does your-“ Y/n braced herself against her inventory cart, “Does your dad know you’re here?”
Sarah’s mouth twisted, “Not exactly.”
“Uh-huh,” Y/n replied, suspicious, “And not exactly means…?”
“Not at all,” Sarah nervously smiled.
Y/n gathered the little oxygen left in her body and laughed. “How did you get down here if you’re by yourself?”
Sarah shrugged, “I took the bus.”
“Ah,” Y/n nodded, “And you ride the bus alone without your dad’s permission a lot?”
The girl gave a guilty smile and balanced on the heels of her Converse. It was all the answer Y/n needed.
“So, why are you here?” Y/n asked, feeling like she was doing something wrong.
Sarah sighed, “I got tired of waiting for my dad to introduce me to you. I’ve asked him, like, ten times and he keeps saying no. I knew you worked here so…I figured this was the only way I could meet you.”
Y/n couldn’t help but be a little touched, and also terrified. She was more nervous about impressing Sarah than she had been Joel.
“I mean,” Y/n rubbed her forehead, “Yeah, I knew your dad was waiting to introduce us but…I didn’t realize his daughter was a secret mastermind.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” Sarah smiled, resting a hand on Y/n’s cart, “So…you’re dating my dad.”
Y/n nodded, “Seems that way, yeah.”
“Well, he really likes you,” Sarah replied, “Like, really likes you. He’s in a way better mood than usual.”
“Is he now?” Y/n inquired.
“He’s smiling all the time, he’s cooking,” Sarah’s face turned serious, “Which never happens ‘cause he kinda sucks at it. He’s even singing.”
Y/n raised an eyebrow, “Singing?”
Sarah nodded, “Uh-huh. Just under his breath, but still…”
Y/n was trying hard to restrain her grin, but Sarah was making it difficult. It was nice to know Joel was as uplifted by their short time together as she was. She’d practically been floating down the aisles.
“He’s just never this happy and…” Sarah shrugged one arm, “I really wanted to meet whoever was responsible.”
“Well,” Y/n smiled, “Your dad’s pretty great. And he loves you, never stops talking about how well you’re doing in school and in soccer…”
Sarah’s posture visibly improved upon hearing the compliments.
“Look, my dad’s never going to work up the nerve to let us all hang out together,” Sarah began to explain, “But the county fair’s on Friday night, me, him and Uncle Tommy are gonna go and it would be really fun if you came.”
Y/n inhaled deeply, a family outing. Was she ready for that? Were her and Joel at that point?
“I don’t know, Sarah,” she hesitate, “I should really talk to your dad first.”
“No,” Sarah urged, taking hold of one of Y/n’s hands, “He’ll just get all squirmy and frown and say that it’s not time yet.”
Y/n thought for a second, “He does frown a lot.”
“A lot,” Sarah chortled, Y/n joining in soon after, “Just think about it. Please?”
Y/n was between a rock and a hard place, or rather, the guy she was dating and his crafty daughter. She wanted Sarah to like her and they were already a step in the right direction. She didn’t want to blow it.
“Okay,” she relented, “I’ll think about it.”
“Yes,” Sarah cheered under her breath, still holding onto Y/n’s hand. “I gotta go, the bus is gonna be back any minute.”
As she moved to go, Y/n took a step forward. “I-I really don’t like the thought of you on the bus by yourself,” she objected, “Why don’t I drive you?”
“But you’re working,” Sarah replied.
Y/n gestured to the empty space around them. “I think they’ll survive without me for twenty minutes.”
Sarah gave a small smile, she was getting to spend more time with the woman she had a million questions about. Sneaking around had paid off substantially.
“Come on,” Y/n removed her apron, draped it across her cart and pulled her keys from her pocket, “You can tell me what your dad’s been singing on the way.”
The two girls headed out of the store, giggling to themselves as Sarah did an impression of her father humming old country tunes to himself while washing dishes.
—————————
Later that afternoon, Joel arrived to pick Y/n up for their quick coffee. When he arrived, she was nowhere to be found. After asking around, and finding out she had stepped out momentarily, he decided to wait at the empty checkout line for her.
Y/n walked back into the store with a new spring in her step. Sarah had not only spilled a lot of dirt on Joel, but she had talked about herself a lot. Y/n felt like she’d already been able to make a connection.
Joel spotted her before she did him, waving a little to catch her eye.
“Hey,” Y/n greeted, apprehension taking over.
“Hey,” Joel replied, his smiling fading the closer he got, “What’s that look?”
“What look?” Y/n asked, unaware of how nervous she appeared.
“You look like a kid with their hand caught in the cookie jar,” Joel smirked, taking her hand lightly into his, “What’s going on?”
Y/n sighed, she’d been trying to figure out how to broach the subject of Sarah all the way back to the store. Joel’s gentle touch was only heightening her nerves. “Why don’t I drive us to coffee?”
Joel squinted in confusion, “Okay…”
The two of them drove off in Y/n’s old Toyota, but she waited until they had their drinks in hand and were walking down the main street to start talking.
“So Sarah came by today,” she blurted out.
Joel nearly choked on the sip he’d been taking, “My Sarah?”
“Uh-huh,” Y/n nodded, anxiously holding the cup close to her chest.
“H-how’d she get down the-“ Joel began to ask before pressing his lips together and shutting his eyes, “She took the bus, didn’t she?”
“Yep,” Y/n answered.
Joel sighed, he was already starting to find grey hairs across his head. Sarah was going to turn the whole thing silver before she was 16.
“She said she was tired of waiting for you to introduce us so she was going to do it herself,” Y/n retold the story.
“Yeah, sounds like her…” Joel replied with a loud sigh, “Look, I know you wanted to meet her-“
“Yeah, but I was perfectly fine with waiting,” Y/n was quick to say, “You said you wanted to do this the right way.”
“Yeah, well, the right way was decided for us,” Joel sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “So what’d you two talk about?”
Y/n smirked over her coffee cup, details of the conversation still fresh in her mind. “Girl stuff,” she answered, quickly taking a drink.
“Why don’t I believe you?” Joel asked with an eyebrow cocked.
“She, uh, she invited me to the fair this weekend,” Y/n changed topics, “With you guys.”
“Ah,” Joel nodded, he didn’t know whether or not to thank Sarah for speeding his relationship up. Lord knows, he was too nervous to do it.
Y/n held a hand up to Joel, “But I didn’t give her an answer. I wanted to talk to you first.”
With the obstacle of Sarah’s approval out of the way, there was nothing to stop him from saying yes. And he didn’t want there to be, he was just used to using excessive caution around his family that anything else felt unnatural. 
“You should come,” Joel answered, turning to Y/n with a shy smile.
Y/n inched back a little, placing her hand on Joel’s arm, “Are you sure? Joel, I don’t want to insert myself anywhere.”
“How can you insert yourself somewhere you were invited?” Joel replied, settling his hand over Y/n’s, “Come.”
Taking a deep breath, Y/n knew that this was a big step for them. Joel’s daughter was his world, and Y/n was being given the privilege of being a part of it.
She blew out her cheeks, “Okay.”
Joel’s smile was earnest, rubbing his thumb over the back of Y/n’s hand. 
“If all goes well, I won’t have to hide you so much,” he said.
“Yeah, I don’t think you’re doing that great a job,” Y/n chuckled at Joel’s confusion, “Johnny Cash?”
Joel’s face turned sour, “Can’t believe she told you ‘bout that.”
“Hey, I thought it was a cute story,” Y/n held her hands up in surrender, “Your daughter thought it was a laugh riot.”
Joel lightly rolled his eyes, letting them rest afterwards on Y/n’s face. A stray bit of hair had fallen in her face, thanks to the breeze, and Joel brushed it away, cupping her cheek.
Joel and Y/n had made the decision that they wouldn’t take their relationship any further without having Sarah’s approval. They had yet to even kiss.
“If this works out,” Y/n started, “You’re not gonna be able to get rid of me.”
“Who says I want to?” Joel muttered, their close proximity allowed him to lower his voice.
They both knew if they stayed in the moment a second longer, their wills could cave. Y/n shoved her coffee cup between their mouths, allowing them both a breathy laugh.
“Come on,” Joel reached down and clasped Y/n’s hand, “I gotcha for a little while longer.”
The two of them walked off into the Austin evening, savoring every short second they got together.
—————
2023. Somewhere in rural America.
Joel, Ellie and Y/n had been driving for one day and no one had yet to end up in a body bag. A win if ever there were one.
That wasn’t to say they hadn’t come close. Joel and Y/n’s truce was an uneasy one and with the promise made to Ellie that they’d get along, their arguments had phased to thin lipped smiles barely concealing their disdain for one another. Still, their guns had stayed in the holsters. That was progress.
Joel pulled over at an abandoned gas station somewhere, needing to refuel. Ellie headed off to the bathrooms while Y/n and Joel went about setting up the siphon.
As Y/n handed Joel a rag, she noticed the state of his hand. It was still healing, and after using it so much in one day, it was beginning to shake.
48 hours ago, she would have let him suffer, but in the interest of a truce…
“Here,” she scooted closer, taking the siphon into her hand.
“I got it,” Joel protested.
“I know you do,” she placated him, gently prying his hand off the device, “Now move.”
She inched him out of the way and took over attaching the device. Joel crouched next to her in the dust, he felt useless if he wasn’t working.
Footsteps signaled that Ellie was coming back. She glanced over the abandoned car at Y/n and Joel.
“We have to do this every hour?”  
“Gas breaks down over time,” Joel answered, “This stuff’s almost water. Back in the day, we’d drive 10, 12 hours on one tank. You could go anywhere.”
“So where’d you go?” Ellie asked.
Y/n continued working, bouncing the memories off that threatened to stick in her mind. 
“Pretty much nowhere,” Joel answered, it was technically the truth, but so there was unclaimed life resting in his ‘pretty much.’
Y/n huffed a large breath into the siphon, the gasoline dripping into their canister.
“Nice,” Ellie complimented, “How does that work?”
“It’s a siphon,” Joel explained as Y/n monitored their levels, “It’s when liquid…travels against gravity because pressure-“
Ellie nodded smugly, “You don’t know.”
“I know it works,” Joel quickly replied.
Y/n smirked and looked over her shoulder, “Please teach us more about physics, professor.”
Joel frowned at his ex before turning his attention back to a walking Ellie, “No wandering.”
Ellie thought a moment, “Okay,” she went into her backpack, “This is your fault then.”
She whipped out a small paperback that made Y/n shut her eyes in exhaustion. “Oh, sweet Moses, not that book…” she muttered.
Joel started to speak, “Wha-“
“‘It doesn’t matter how much you push the envelope,’” Ellie recited, “‘It’ll still be stationary.’”
Joel blinked, Y/n let her forehead rest against the car.
“‘No Pun Intended: Volume Too’ by Will Livingston,” Ellie held up the book to Joel, “Volume Too. Look, you get it? Too? Like t-o-o?”
Joel mumbled something under his breath and got up.
“‘What did the mermaid wear to her math class?’” Ellie asked her captive audience, building tension in the silence, “‘An algae bra,” she laughed, “Like algae bra. ‘I stayed up all night-“
“No,” Joel shook his head, like that word carried an ounce of power with Ellie.
“‘Wondering where the sun went,” the girl continued, “‘And then it dawned on me.”
“Feel free to wait in the truck,” Joel suggested, crossing his arms across his chest.
“Well, Y/n thought it was funny,” Ellie retorted, she’d tested the jokes our on her watcher back in the QZ.
“I laughed at one out of, like, fifteen, Ellie,” Y/n grunted as she got to her feet, “That’s not the win you think it is.”
“Okay, but just know,” Ellie held up the book again, “You can’t escape Will Livingston. He’ll be back. There’s nothing you can do to stop him.”
Ellie took her backpack and her jokes and walked back to the Chevy, leaving Joel and Y/n by themselves.
“You get that book,” Joel started, trying to break the silence, “I’ll roll down the window.”
“Oh, that’s not even the worst of ‘em,” Y/n replied, wiggling the toe of her boot into the ground, “But they make her smile. Like I’m in any position to put a stop to that.”
Joel glanced over at Y/n, taking a temperature reading of her once again. It was hard to see so much of the person you’d once loved with your whole heart mixed with who they’d become. Every once in a while, he got flashes of his ex-girlfriend in the light she used to radiate. But something inevitably came through and blew out her flame. More than often, all it took was his mere presence.
“We should be good,” he said, changing his train of thought and kneeling down to pack up the siphon.
Y/n took the gas they’d collected and carried it back to the truck. Heavy as it was, she wasn’t about to ask Joel to help her. She’d lived through twenty years of their dystopian hell-space, a gas can wasn’t about to best her.
Once the truck was filled up, Joel and Y/n hopped in the front seats with Ellie sitting in the back.
“Must’ve been some truck,” Ellie commented, staring out the back window at the fleet deserted vehicles.
“Yeah, they used to stick big-ass plows on them and clear the roads for their tanks and such,” Joel said.
Ellie spun around in her seat, “I wanna see a tank!”
“You will,” Joel replied, “Tanks, choppers, all that stuff. But they’ll fight the wrong enemy. Just scattered around now.”
By now, Joel was background noise to Ellie as she dug around the back of Bill’s truck.
“I got somethin’,” she announced proudly, waving another cassette tape in between Y/n and Joel. “Here, does this make you all nostalgic?”
Joel took the tape from her, it was Hank Williams. Y/n and him shared a sideways glance, if Ellie had any musical knowledge, they’d have been insulted. 
“This is actually before our time,” Joel handled the cassette.
“Great,” Ellie settled back in her seat, unamused.
“Doesn’t mean it’s not good,” Y/n stated, watching Joel pop the tape into the player and adjust the volume.
The speakers flooded with the warm sounds of the country legend. Something about it made both Joel and Y/n relax into their seats a little more.
“Oh, man,” Joel mumbled to himself, briefly closing his eyes and letting the music wash over him.
“Yeah,” Y/n absentmindedly replied, staring out her window.
“Got somethin’ else,” Ellie announced, the sounds of magazine pages flipping behind Joel and Y/n, “It’s, uh, light on the reading, but it has some interesting pictures.”
Y/n and Joel peered into the dashboard mirror, catching a graphic cover. Their protests overlapped.
“Oh, no, no, no, put that back.”
“Ellie, don’t read that.”
“That’s not for kids, Ellie.”
“There’s nothing you need to see-“
Ellie opened up the centerfold of the x-rated magazine, her jaw dropping at the sight, “How would he even walk around with that thing?”
“Ellie,” Y/n unbuckled her seat belt, flipping around in her chair and stretching into the backseat, “Put it back.”
The girl slid to Joel’s side of the truck, too far away for Y/n to reach. “Hold you horses,” she argued, “I wanna see what all the fuss is about.”
While Joel watched nervously through the mirror, Y/n was not so easily defeated. She kept clawing at the air, trying to rip the magazine out of Ellie’s hands. Ellie turned away just enough so Y/n’s fingertips barely touched the paper.
“Why are all the pages stuck together?” Ellie asked.
“Uh,” Joel elongated, unsure of what to do, “The-“
“I’m just fuckin’ with you,” Ellie burst into laughter, reaching past Y/n and slapping Joel’s shoulder with the magazine.
Y/n slid back into her seat, moving as far away as she could from Joel’s shoulder.
Ellie unrolled the back window, the whipping winds blowing through the truck. She tossed the magazine out with a grin, “Bye-bye, dude!”
Y/n sighed and put her hand to her temple, nearly laughing at the absurdity of the moment.
They drove for most of the day, answering Ellie’s occasional question, but mostly sitting in silence. Somberness would fall over the truck whenever they passed by some piece of the old world, ruined and rusted by time. They drove by an abandoned amusement park, a rickety coaster still standing. A sign for what used to be a Love’s truck stop. A bridge that had collapsed at some point in the last two decades. To Ellie, it was a lost future. To Joel and Y/n, it was the world they didn’t know if they’d ever see again.
When the skies grew began to grow dark, there wasn’t much driving left for them to do.
“All right,” Joel announced to the truck, “That’s enough for the day.”
One part of their agreement was that Y/n would trust Joel’s ability to get them to Wyoming. Her rebellion against his every word made her want to argue that they could go a little longer, but she was trying to keep up her end of the deal.
Joel pulled off the main road and drove them into the nearby forest. They set up camp deep enough that they were hidden, but close enough to the road to escape quickly, should the need arise. Joel and Y/n took care of preparing dinner, using a portable stove and cutlery they’d taken from Bill’s house.
Eventually, they all sat down to a lukewarm meal of ravioli. Ellie practically inhaled it while Joel and Y/n tried to make it last.
“Slow down,” Joel cautioned.
“This is slow,” Ellie replied with a full mouth, “What am I even eating?”
“That is 20-year-old Chef Boyardee ravioli,” Joel answered.
“That guy was good,” Ellie complimented, stuffing another piece in her mouth.
Joel stared down at his meal, “I actually agree.”
Y/n swirled a piece around her plate, “It’s technically food.”
“How long are we staying out here?” Ellie inquired.
“I figure I sleep tonight,” Joel answered, “And drive tomorrow, all day, all night, and get us to Wyoming by next mornin’.”
“You know I can take a shift, right?” Y/n asked, Joel’s stony silence served as his reply, “Ah, so you do know and you’re choosing to ignore it.”
“In the interest of gettin’ us there the quickest, it’s better I drive,” he stated.
“Yes, navigating a highway,” Y/n retorted, taking a sarcastic tone, “That’s men’s work.”
“What happened to getting along?” Ellie smirked as she watched the exchange.
Joel and Y/n glanced over at her and backed down. They had to watch themselves.
“So can we start a fire?” Ellie changed the subject, “I’m freezing.”
“Now, why am I gonna tell you no?” Joel replied shortly.
Ellie shrugged in defeat, “Because Infected will see the smoke.”
“No, fungus isn’t that smart,” Joel said, “This is too remote for Infected, anyway.”
“People?” Ellie came back with.
Joel nodded.
“So what are they gonna do? Rob us?”
“Oh, they’ll have way more in mind than that,” Joel answered, never once looking up from his plate.
Y/n had lived a vastly different life than Joel had, post apocalypse, but she knew the horrors people willingly committed against each other. Being cold for a night was the ideal.
Once the sun set, the three of them rolled out their sleeping bags, another courtesy of Bill and Frank, and set up for the night. Y/n laid her head next to Ellie’s, while Joel stayed on the complete opposite side of them.
Ellie took a whiff of the inside of her bag, “Actually smells kinda good.”
“Well, that would be Frank’s then,” Joel quipped.
“If mine smells like gunpowder,” Y/n held her sleeping bag up, “I’m gonna assume-“
“Bill,” Joel took no time in answering.
Y/n nodded, “Copy that.”
Before they could lay down for the night, Joel and Y/n made a point of each checking their shotguns and laying them at their sides.
Ellie and Y/n nestled into their accommodations beside one another, Ellie pulling something out of her backpack before switching the lantern off and turning on her flashlight. Y/n’s back was turned, or else she would have put a stop to what was about to happen
“Joel?” Ellie eventually called out, “Y/n? Joel?”
“What?” Joel jumped to attention, he still moved with the urgency of a father. 
Y/n turned over, “What is it?”
“Can I ask you a serious question?”
“Yeah,” Joel said for both of them.
Ellie sighed deeply, “‘Why did the scarecrow get an award?’”
Y/n and Joel both looked over at the same time to shoot Ellie a glare. She kept a straight face as if she really needed the answer.
“Because he was outstanding in his field,” Joel answered.
Y/n groaned, “Oh, God, there’s two of you.”
“You dick,” Ellie laughed, “Did you read this?”
“No,” Joel turned over, smirking only to himself, “Now go to sleep.”
Ellie victoriously smiled, having successfully chipped away at a little bit of the ice man’s exterior.
“Admit it,” Ellie whispered to Y/n, “You like them.”
“I will smother you in your sleep,” Y/n mumbled into her pillow. She’d never admit to cracking a smile.
They had just settled back into the sleepy silence when Ellie spoke up again, this time truly serious.
“Those people you said…there’s no way anyone knows we’re here, right? No one’s gonna find us.”
Joel and Y/n both stiffened, they could only guarantee so much. Where they were was as close to safe as they could get. But that wasn’t something you told a scared kid who wouldn’t admit to being scared. You gave them hope, confidence.
“No one’s gonna find us,” Joel confirmed.
“Okay,” Ellie accepted the answer and flipped over. 
Y/n lay on her back, staring up at the stars. Her paranoia had softened the longer she survived, but laying in the middle of the open woods with a big flashing red sign above that read ‘FREE KILL HERE’ was resuscitating it.
A few feet away, Joel was feeling the same thing. He couldn’t pretend like he was fearless leaving himself completely vulnerable. And now that he knew Ellie was nervous, it only woke him up further. He eyed the shotgun, calculating in his head how little sleep he could make the drive on. If he counted on Y/n to take one of the shifts, they could still make good time…
They both unzipped their sleeping bags at the same time, turning to one another in the dark. No matter how hard they tried, they were on the same wavelength.
Y/n sighed, “You take the first shift?”
Joel’s nod had a heaviness to it, “Yeah.”
Y/n settled back onto her side, this time facing where Joel was heading to take up his post. She fell into an uneasy sleep, only after keeping watch over Joel until her exhaustion forced her to stop.
——————
It was a few hours later, Joel eyelids were beginning to droop. His ears were beginning to ring. He needed sleep.
After doing one last scan of the area, he walked back to their campsite. He came over to Y/n’s sleeping bag, ready to wake her, but stopped.
He stared down at her, her lips slightly parted, her hair framing her face and her lashes fanned across her cheeks. The frown she carried throughout the day faded in sleep, softening to a content expression as if she was between the bliss of unconsciousness and the evil of the waking world. It was the most at peace Joel had seen her in the last few days.
He couldn’t bring himself to wake her up.
She’d be mad at him in the morning, he knew it. She’d berate him for thinking he didn’t need her and probably make a crack about him falling asleep at the wheel. That was fine, he thought as he went back to his post, he’d take it. Anger and nostalgia were waging a battle within him, and right now, he was allowing his wistful memories to win.
——————
Y/n woke up to the smell of coffee brewing and the rustling of something in their truck. Seeing that Joel wasn’t in his sleeping bag, she grabbed her shotgun and bolted upright. The barrel of the weapon found Joel, packing up the truck, cocking a brow at her.
Y/n exhaled and set down her gun, running a relieved hand over her face. “You didn’t wake me up,” she said when she came to fully.
“I had it covered,” Joel said softly, not wanting to wake Ellie yet.
“I didn’t ask that,” Y/n replied as she stretched, already annoyed with him. She rolled out of her sleeping bag and got to her feet. “Well, I’m driving this morning. I’m not ending up dead just because you’re stubborn.”
Joel didn’t look up as he tied his sleeping bag up. Right on cue.
“Coffee’s on,” he changed the subject.
Y/n felt like Joel knew that would distract her enough to move on. He wasn’t wrong. She reached over to grab her backpack, feeling around for her travel mug. Her hand graced the plastic butterfly she’d taken from Joel’s apartment, freezing as she did.
Grief, much like heartbreak, had to be danced around. If you got too close, self destruction would swallow you whole. Y/n collected her thoughts and led them back to where she was, quickly finding her mug and zipping the pack up again.
Ellie rolled over, awake finally, and sniffed the air. She scooted over to where Joel had the coffee boiling and carefully opened the lid. 
“Ugh,” she gagged, “What the fuck is that?”
Joel turned to her, “You don’t like coffee?”
Ellie grimaced, watching the bubbling brew a second longer before throwing the lid back down and rolling back onto her pillow.
“Uh-uh,” Y/n shook her head, nudging Ellie with her boot, “Up and at ‘em, come on.”
Ellie stuck her middle finger out, “Fuck you, man.”
“Up,” Y/n repeated, tugging on the bottom of Ellie’s sleeping bag.
The girl moaned and sat up, glaring at Y/n, who went to pour her mug of coffee. Whether it was the first sip of caffeine shifting her mood or she simply was making an effort, she wasn’t sure, but when Joel walked over with his mug, Y/n poured it for him.
“Thanks,” Joel mumbled, “Why don’t I drive for three hours, you take over after?”
“Two,” Y/n countered, “Those bags under your eyes make you look like you’re in a fucking Tim Burton movie.”
Joel sighed, remembering the truce. “Fine.”
Y/n and Joel finished packing up their supplies and the three of them were back on the road in minutes.
“Is that what the Starbucks in the QZ used to sell?” Ellie asked, eyeing Joel’s mug.
“Well, there’s was a lot fresher than what Bill saved up, but yeah,” Joel answered, “This is what they sold.”
“The world used to run on this stuff,” Y/n added.
“Smells like burnt shit,” Ellie mused, smirking over at Joel.
Joel, straight faced as could be, raised his mug and took a big slurping sip. Y/n bit down on her lip to keep from rewarding him a laugh. 
“Eyes on the map,” Joel ordered.
“76 west and then 70 west for, like, ever…” Ellie read, Y/n had taught her how to navigate directions and she was still getting the hang of it.
“Where in Wyoming did you say your brother was?” Ellie asked Joel.
“Last contact came through a radio tower close to Cody,” Joel answered.
Ellie scanned the map, “Cody. Cody…Cody…ah, man. That is deep up in there.”
Y/n peekd over Ellie’s shoulder to take a look, “Do you know where he would have gone other than there?”
“Odds are he’ll be near a settlement,” Joel answered, “Probably close to another city out there. Ain’t too many of ‘em in Wyoming.”
The second part of his reply was meant more for Ellie. She was getting a crash course in geography.
“Chee-Yen,” she read off.
“Cheyenne,” Joel corrected, he’d studied that map so intensively that he could have found his way around the state blindfolded.
“Chey- really?” Ellie double checked before reading again, “Cheyenne…Laramie…Casper? What’s his name?”
“Whose name?” Joel asked, avoiding the question another five seconds.
“Your brother,” Ellie replied.
Joel paused, “Tommy.”
A wave of nostalgia crashed around Y/n, hearing his name made her think of cheap beer and belly laughter.
“Younger or older?” Ellie continued to question Joel.
“Younger.”
“Why isn’t he with you?”
Joel sighed, stretching his neck out slightly, “A long story.”
“Is it longer than 25 hours? ‘Cause I think that’s what we got,” Ellie asked, turning around to Y/n, “Do you know?”
“No, I don’t,” Y/n clocked Joel in the dashboard mirror, “And if I’m risking my life to find him, I think I deserve to know.”
Joel met her eyes in a fleeting glance, she was backing him up against a wall.
“Tommy’s what we used to call a “joiner,” he began to explain, “Dreams of becomin’ a hero. So he enlisted in the Army right outta high school. A few months later, they ship him off to Desert Storm,” he allowed for Ellie’s confused gaze, “That’s what they called that war, it doesn’t matter. Point is, bein’ in the Army didn’t make him feel much like a hero. Cut to twelve years late, outbreak happens. He convinces me to join a group makin’ their way up to Boston, which I did…mostly to keep an eye on him, keep him alive.”
Y/n’s stomach turned, she wasn’t just hearing about what had become of Tommy…she was hearing about what had happened to Joel after they broke up. Gaps she’d wanted filled for twenty years.
“It’s where we met Tess,” Joel continued, breaking for a sip of coffee, “And that whole crew, we, uh…well, for what it was, it worked. And then Tommy meets Marlene. She talks him into joinin’ the Fireflies. Same mistake he made when he was eighteen,” Joel’s tone turned bitter, his voice quivering an almost undetectable amount, “Wants to save the world. Pipe dream. Him. Fireflies, all of ‘em…” he didn’t dare meet Y/n’s eyes, “Delusional.”
Y/n lifted her feet up and hugged her knees, she knew the remark was meant for both her and Tommy. And while her anger with Joel hadn’t lost its momentum, she let him continue. He needed to get it all out.
“‘Course last I heard, he quit the Fireflies too,” Joel went on, “So now he’s on his own out there, and…I gotta go get him.”
The car was washed in a somber silence. Only one of them was brave enough to break it.
“If you don’t think there’s hope for the world,” Ellie said, “Why bother going on? I mean, you gotta try, right?”
“You haven’t seen the world,” Joel said, a little wistful, “So you don’t know. You keep goin’ for family. That’s about it.”
The five words pierced through Y/n’s heart, the wooden arrow splintering inside the chambers. Each syllable was like taking a knife to the carefully placed stitches around her soul.
“I’m not family,” Ellie said, blissfully unaware of the situation surrounding her.
“No,” Joel agreed, “You’re cargo. And I made a promise to Tess. And she was like family.”
Numbness set in and Y/n rested her head against the window, focusing on the rolling fields of rural America. If Ellie wasn’t in the car, she would have let herself go off on Joel, but it wasn’t the time.
“What if you don’t find him?” Ellie asked the man.
“I will,” Joel replied,
“How do you know?” 
“I’m persistent,” Joel stated before switching gears, “You got up pretty early, if you wanna grab more sleep.”
Ellie scoffed, “I’m not even tired.”
Within a few minutes, Ellie was beginning to doze off. Y/n gently tapped her shoulder, gesturing for her to climb into the backseat. She helped pull her through and Ellie settled against the opposite window.
Joel drove them for an hour in silence before Y/n couldn’t stand being still anymore.
“Pull over,” she told him, “Let’s switch.”
Joel was tired enough to listen to her, stopping the car in the middle of the road. They unbuckled and got out, meeting at the front. 
“You’re wrong, you know,” Y/n said once they were face to face, “About Tommy, about the Fireflies…all of it.”
“You wanna prove me wrong, have at it,” Joel replied, disgruntled by the whole idea.
“Tommy wanting to be a hero is him wanting to help people,” Y/n kept going, “To fight. To do the right thing. When has that ever been a bad thing?”
Joel nearly scoffed, “Maybe when it gets him killed.”
“If he’s still here after all these years, maybe you need to stop looking at him like he’s some idiot kid. You don’t get to judge the people who are trying to get some of this,” Y/n spread her arms out to the wide open space around them, “Any of this back. It’s a hell of a lot more than you seem to be doing.”
Joel rested a hand on the truck’s hood, “Maybe I don’t feel the need to waste my time on a pointless cause. Last time I checked, that was all the Fireflies ever accomplished.”
“At least I’m doing something,” Y/n fought back, “I’d rather spend the rest of my life on a pointless cause and go to sleep with what’s left of my soul than sell it to the devil and not recognize my own damn reflection.”
Joel felt the last part of her sentence push into his gut like the tip of a spear. She was hitting too close to home without knowing it.
“‘Keep going for family,’” Y/n repeated, practically spitting the last words, “When was the last time you fought for anything?”
Joel reached out, grabbing Y/n’s arm roughly as she turned away and spun her around. If she hadn’t dug her boots into the asphalt, she would have fallen right into him.
“You don’t know what I’ve fought for,” he growled, his eyes boring into hers.
Y/n’s chest rose and fell rapidly with rage, inching her face closer to his to show him she wasn’t afraid of him. “Neither do you,” she seethed.
Their breaths mingled in the few inches left separating their mouths. Neither one of them were making any real threats, there was simply too much tension between them to ensure a safe car ride. They needed to let it out.
Joel realized his fingers were digging into Y/n’s arm, it had happened when she had moved closer to him. Habits were tricky to break, but the body didn’t hold grudges like the mind.
The close proximity wasn’t lost on Y/n, but she was able to free herself from it before muscle memory took over. She yanked her arm out of Joel’s grip and took the keys from his other hand, stomping around to the driver’s seat and getting in. Joel unhappily followed, and their wordless journey continued…
—————————
Joel caught maybe thirty consecutive minutes of sleep while Y/n drove them. It wasn’t that she was a bad driver, he just wasn’t used to not being in control of a situation. He gripped the map tightly as they drove into downtown Kansas City.
Surrounding them were rusted abandoned vehicles, but the tunnel in which they needed to go through was blocked entirely by a semi. Y/n brought the car to a halt, glancing over at Joel knowingly.
“Wait here,” she told Ellie, who had just woken up.
Joel and Y/n got out, Joel grabbing their shotguns from the backseat. He handed hers over and the team took calculated steps towards the tunnel. Joel crouched down to get a peek at the open road waiting on the other side of the mess. The semi was parked that way deliberately.
Joel walked back to the truck, Y/n only a step behind him. They got back in their seats seat, Ellie squeezing over the glove compartment. 
“Where are we?”
“Kansas City,” Joel answered quickly, taking the map from her. The three of them studied it.
“How far back do we have to go to get around this?” Ellie asked.
Joel traced their route with his fingertip, Y/n tugged the map closer so she could study it too. There weren’t a lot of options if they had a prayer of getting to Wyoming within their time frame. They could either go back, costing them a few more hours, or take their chances passing through the city.
Y/n sighed, everything she was about to say went against what she wanted to say….
“It’s your call.”
Joel was honestly surprised that she had relented so quick. “Screw it,” he muttered, “Head back ‘round the tunnel, get on the next ramp. We’ll be back on the road, minute tops.”
Y/n put the truck in reverse and backed them up, swinging around a shoulder of road that would take them into the city.
“You guys are my eyes,” Y/n said as she navigated the first set of streets, 
“Tell me where to go.”
“Look for any signs,” Joel instructed while Ellie read the map.
They drove for about five minutes, having gotten no closer to finding the open road.
“Where the fuck is the highway?” Joel complained.
“I can’t tell from this,” Ellie let her hand fall against the map, “I’m all turned around.”
Joel was trying to help Ellie navigate while also keeping an eye peeled for potential threats. “Well, don’t look at the state map, look at the inset,” he directed.
Ellie groaned, “Well, I don’t know where we are in that either! This is my second day in a fucking car, man. I mean, I think we’re heading north?”
“I don’t even see any fucking signs,” Y/n mentioned.
“It’s gotta be the right,” Joel said, shaking his head, ”What the fuck?”
“Y/n stop,” Ellie exclaimed.
Y/n threw on the brake, bringing them to a halt in the middle of the street.
“Is that the QZ?” Ellie asked, her eyes wide as she peered over Y/n, “Where the fuck is FEDRA?”
Joel and Y/n got a look at where the Quarantine Zone should have been, zero military presence. That was unfathomable.
“Hey,” a voice called, their attention was drawn to a man limping towards their truck, “Please help.”
Y/n and Joel’s blood ran cold, they knew exactly what was about to go down.
“Put your seatbelt on,” Joel told Ellie, throwing his on as well.
“Aren’t we gonna help him?” Ellie asked innocently.
Y/n said a silent prayer to anyone who was listening for survival.
“No,” Joel answered, looking to his ex, “Drive. Now.”
Y/n pressed her foot down on the gas pedal, the “injured” leaping out of the way. The man cried something out she couldn’t hear over the blood pounding in her ears.
“Y/N!” Ellie screamed.
Y/n was too busy driving to see what Ellie and Joel were watching, but the message was received when a large object got dropped on their windshield. Y/n swerved, Joel reached over to steady the wheel as she regained control. In their mad dash effort, they didn’t notice the strip of nails ahead of them. The truck shook as its tires began to deflate. 
“Fuck!” Y/n yelled, “What do we do?”
“Hard right into that building,” Joel shouted, there was another guy in their path, “Now!”
Instincts ignored, Y/n pulled to the right, holding her breath as they smashed through the glass windows of the nearest building.
——————
TYL Taglist: @bachiracore @stolenxkissess @kayleezra @the-wistful-reader @allthesesonsofbitches @goth-detectives365 @trippovert @rh1nestonecowg1rl @emiliaserpe @khaleesihavilliard @frietiemeloen @gracie7209 @dorck26 @thegirlnextdoorssister @alanis-altair @mariwinns16 @whosscruffylooking @endofthexline @alexiaricciardo @eonnyx @pedrosmexicangf @scarlettequinn @ao-sleepy @toinfinityandbeyonce2 @deanlovescassie @turmoil-ash @sorrowjunky @kpopslur @xxlilyxx90 @midgetpottermills @presidential-facts @scoopsnini @tubble-wubble @jamesdeerest @burninggracesandbridges @star-wars-lover @lucyhotchner @cococola-cocaine @witheringhqarts @fall-writes @alwaysdjarin @xxmoonn @emilia-the-artist @wand-erer5 @boneyarrd @lizard-zombie @itwasallinmyhead1 @cassidylea123 @paleepeaches @mxltifxnd0m @kettlekatie @ultimate-cinephile @gloryekaterina @caramelkatsukis-bitch @whovianayesha @memeorydotcom @deadunicorn159 @get0ut0fmyr00m @siriuslymooned @emmyeed @superbreadsoul @hellu-people1 @ourautumn86 @inas-thing @noraapple05 @givemylovetoall @luvwanda
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magnuscomedybracket · 9 months
Text
FINAL ROUND
087 Uncanny Valley vs. 034 Anatomy Class
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Propaganda under the cut!
087 Uncanny Valley
Guy cleans out flesh from a drain without a blink and nikola has to invite him back again with Jude because he wasn’t scared enough the first time because of obliviousness
Besides the obvious bit of Guy who Doesn’t Realize He’s In A Horror Story, imagine this from Nikolas perspective. Like “oh shit lol this guys name is “skinner” I’m gonna mess with him for shits and giggles… Ok he didn’t notice any of my spooky bullshit, wild! I threatened to butcher him and he was Not Paying Attention! Jude! Hey! Come check out this idiot man!”. Also implication that Jude and nikola hang out being shitty together. I support women’s wrongs.
"Megan" tries to expose this guy to The Horrors and he's so focused on his job that he just doesn't notice. She's so shocked by this that she calls him back and still has to literally force him to notice
The world's most oblivious plumber somehow doesn't notice all the creepy stuff going on and just does his job like normal. It only gets funnier when you consider it from the Stranger avatar's point of view.
Nikola Orsinov trying so hard to scare the least observant man you've ever seen. Whispering in his ear about flencing while he hums noncommittally and pulls a wad of meat from the drain of her spooky factory in the middle of fuck-all nowhere and then he just gives her the invoice and walks out??? Like it's a normal job? And when she calls him to come back the next day she has to dress up in a clown costume to get his attention and grab his head to make him look at The Atrocities that he just entirely missed the day before. I love Sebastian Skinner so much and I wish only the best for him
#I really just want to point out that they're trying to scare a plumber. #A plumber!! #do you think this is the first time this man has had to clean skin and hair out of a drain? #do you think he's never seen blood before? #like yeah it's objectively funny from the Horror's point of views but for him? It's a tuesday #Like that isn't even the weirdest thing he's seen that week #'oh they threatened to butcher him' yeah? what makes them special? #this guy probably deals with 20 different avatars a week by necessity #no amount of 'his name is skinner let's fuck with him' is going to be worse than service work in people's homes (via @/childoferebus)
#the only reason we know what's happening for half the episode is taht we know this is an horror story #and how things usually go. #dude spends half the episode going 'just a normal job. #house in the middle of nwohere. weird smells and textures #*shrugs* just anotehr day on the job* (via @/monstersqueen)
034 Anatomy Class
The delivery. The teacher going crazy because students asking questions.
#fear beings who want to know more about the human body and decide to go to college about it (via @/the-goose-caboose)
#all those “students” had like. sneak 100 surely their behavior was completely unsuspicious lmao #and at the end theyre genuinely just like “hey thanks for teaching us about the insides” and the teacher's just completely traumatized (via @/silverywillowtree)
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diazsdimples · 5 months
Text
Tease Tidbit Tuesday
I'm getting to everyone's snippets tonight, I promise! I'm a few days behind cause lectures have just started up again 😬 tagged for Tuesday by @thewolvesof1998 and @elvensorceress thank you friends 🫶. Also I'm updating my taglist for the first time ever so please interact with this post if you want to be on it!
Figured I should probably get cracking on my 7x06 spec fic before the episode comes out so please enjoy a bit of Buck getting roasted by his best friend and boyfriend.
Eddie frowns, looking a little confused. “I thought you guys were all good?” “We are,” Buck replies, his eyes never leaving his parents as he watches them greet guests, both looking the brightest and bubbliest he’s seen them in years. From afar he’s sure they look like a regular, happy older couple enjoying their daughter’s wedding, but Buck can’t hide the way seeing them still makes his gut twist uncomfortably. Tommy snorts beside him, bringing him back to reality. “Except Evan decided it was a good idea not to mention me until today” Eddie does a little double take, his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline. “Wait, you haven’t told them yet?” “I’m gonna go find Denny,” Christopher announces, bored of listening to the adults. “Is that okay, Dad?” “Yeah, of course bud. See you in a bit,” Eddie says, ruffling Christopher’s hair. The three of them watch as he shoots off, making his way towards Hen, Karen and Denny as fast as his legs can carry him. When he’s safely out of earshot, Eddie rounds on Buck again, fixing him with an incredulous look. “Seriously, Buck, in what world did you think springing this on them today was a good idea?” “That’s what I said!” Tommy says, flicking Buck a smirk as he squeezes his side. “Hey, you’re meant to be on my side!” Buck protests, elbowing Tommy in the ribs, but it’s all forgiven when Tommy brushes a light kiss against Buck’s temple.  “And I didn’t want to tell them in person, I thought doing it like this would be… easier,” Buck finishes lamely, aware of how delusional he’s sounding. “Uh huh, cause telling your parents big, life changing things has always been easy in person hasn’t it,” Eddie deadpans, crossing his arms over his chest and raising his eyebrow at Buck in a way that screams you’re an idiot and you know it. “Listen, I wasn’t exactly thinking -” “Clearly,” Tommy and Eddie say in unison, turning to one another with shit-eating grins as Buck gives them both a flat look, before continuing.  “- but, I didn’t want them to gripe at me and say they would have rather heard it face to face than from behind a phone.” “I think they probably would have had a go at you either way, honestly,” Eddie says with a sympathetic shrug, and he reaches over to squeeze Buck’s shoulder. Buck sighs and burrows closer into Tommy’s side, resting his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. Tommy runs his hand down Buck’s spine, rubbing at each spinous process as he encourages Buck to relax. Buck softens a little, biting back a whine as Tommy nuzzles his nose against Buck’s hairline.  “You’re probably right,” he admits with a sigh. He’d really wanted nothing more than to heal his relationship with his parents but turns out it takes more than a little lightning strike and some shitty therapy sessions to mend years of trauma.
No pressure tagging @theotherbuckley @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @bidisasterevankinard @neverevan
@babybibuck @fortheloveofbuddie @spotsandsocks @aroeddiediaz @daffi-990
@jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @wikiangela @bibuckbuckgoose @exhuastedpigeon
@cal-daisies-and-briars @wildlife4life @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @evanbegins @nmcggg
@alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @weewootruck @rainbow-nerdss @kitteneddiediaz @epicbuddieficrecs
@smilingbuckley @actuallyitsellie @spagheddiediaz @loserdiaz @thekristen999
@loveyouanyway (Remember to interact with this post if you want to be on my taglist and lmk if you want to be removed)
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bronx-bomber87 · 4 months
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Hello my wonderful fandom :) I CANNOT believe we are at the finale already. This season went by in the blink of an eye. I was VERY excited for this finale and what it would bring. They don't have a ton of moments. But the ones they do the writers made count. My goodness I was happy and hopeful after this episode ended. Hard to believe we won't see our babies on screen till 2025. *grumble*
D sent me something about that actually (thank you bestie) Here it be. A.H. saying he's pretty sure all networks are doing this mid season 18 ep start. One of the reasons being the Election coming up. They want to protect shows and their ratings from the debates, coverage etc. And those usually happen on Tuesday nights. Which is actually really intuitive foresight from ABC. So to protect our ratings and show I get it. Especially if we wanna lock down a S8. I don't love it but I get it. Anyways lets get to it shall we? My last "mini" thoughts of the season.
6x10 Escape Plan
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Always makes me nervous for Lucy going UC but still amazing to watch her in her element. Even if it makes my stomach tie in knots. Now maybe this is just me but Lucy seemed EXTRA uneasy on this OP. This is pure speculation on my part. But could be lending a little more credence to this not being the path for her? Just the feeling I got while watching her in these moments with with the kids in this one and the sneaking around.
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I will say I do love seeing Lucy with the kids. Gives us a glimpse into her as a mama. I'm liking what I am seeing. Can't help but have that thought. I really can't. Chenford has taken over my brain and I'm very ok with it. Smitty's text to Lucy did crack me up. 'Red incoming.' Gotta love Smitty. Lucy is giving me a damn heart attack being undercover though.
The panic in her soul is so evident the minute she sees Monica is approaching. The way she guides the kids out of the room. Then the sheer terror when the kids wanna take a shorter exit. She has to pivot and redirect them quickly. I feel like the pressure of this specific UC mission was getting to her. I really do. It was felt in all her movements and body language through out these scenes IMO. I could be wrong but it was just a gut feeling I got watching her.
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I think her expression in this scene after Monica departs is everything. Melissa be crushing it out here. Almost like she has to take a deep breath. Calm her racing heart down before unrooting herself from that spot to investigate further. I feel like her look of unease and panic here brings home the point I've been making.
Her questioning if doing UC is worth this stress? Worth the constant worry? Like I said back in my 5x20 review. Just because you're good at something doesn't mean it's meant to be your destiny. i.e. Lucy being a permanent U.C. Pretty sure her cover is blown after she runs right into him but she got the info she needed. At the expense of my own anxiety and worry though ha
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The look in this scene oh my lord. How can they have so much chemistry with just one look? Melissa and Eric are a damn treasure to this fandom. To this amazing ship. Tim saying 'It's good to have you.' That loaded look between them. *screams into a pillow.*
You know that man is happier now that she's folded into this OP. His eyes were on her from the moment she stepped on scene. Be more in love with her Tim please. Then sharing a look with Angela. I’m dying. Angela is us we are Angela. She is the fandom in this moment watching this exchange. *sigh* So good.
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Someone please tell me how do they look so amazing just standing next to one another? It's unreal how they can exude SO much chemistry just standing next to one another. Forever floored by the amount of physical chemistry these two have without even touching. It blows my mind in the best way.
Also I always enjoy me some Tim in T.O. mode it's sexy af. It revs my engine to watch him back in leadership mode. Not gonna lie. So very confident and sure of himself. Gah makes me need to cross my legs watching him in action LOL Sorry (sorta)Feral Caitlin made a return there haha But I do love seeing it. Like he’s getting his mojo back professionally. It’s nice to see. Does my heart good to watch it.
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Oh my word they haven’t really been alone to talk (not counting the hug last ep) since 6x06. I’m so happy. I was legit buzzing watching this. My heart Tim telling her he took her advice and went to therapy. Yessss been waiting for this to unfold. Was hoping when they got a moment alone he would tell her about it. Look at him taking the first opportunity they have solo to tell her this. The growth of this man is incredible to see. I'm so proud of him it's insane. He takes a beat and makes the best of their time together. Breaking the uncomfortable ice with it. *happy sigh*.
I'm so proud of him. I can't state this enough. It is NOT easy to have this convo let alone be the one to start it. Another way to see he's grown. Tim is tackling the conversation. Being the one to broach it. Not Lucy dragging it out of him. I love her telling him that's not normal what happened for him. Definitely hasn't been my experience haha I do love her following up her little joke with being serious. Wanting to encourage him to keep going. I love this. Doesn’t want him to think one bad experience will tar the entire profession.
Tim nodding with a smile asking her if she wants to know the irony of it all? Lucy of course does. Tim continues on that she was a good therapist. The sessions they helped him. Damnit Blair.... I do adore the way Lucy is looking at him while he speaks about this. That angry look she started with has softened quite a bit. Truly hope he continues in S7 and we get to hear about it. God I would love to see sessions. Some of my all time fav Beckett scenes in Castle's S4 was getting to see her sessions with her therapist. It's on my wish list. *fingers crossed.*
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His continued sharing with Lucy makes my heart so happy it might implode. Letting Lucy know therapy despite Blair being dirty has been good for him. She unearthed things he wasn't even aware of. I felt the same way too after a couple weeks. I felt more regulated tbh. I had massive sleeping problems from age 15 to when I decided to go to therapy in my 30's. After a couple sessions my sleeping issue's were gone for most part. I had been carrying my problems for so long. Like a pressure cooker with no release valve. So with no outlet they followed me into my unconscious and manifested into anxiety attacks. Couple weeks of sessions and my sleep issues all but disappeared.
Therapy when you truly lean into it can do wonderful things. i.e. Tim opening up to Lucy like this. Also look how SOFT Lucy looks with him as he bares his soul to her. I would be remiss if I didn't go in depth on this. The look of pride and love splayed all over her face is everything. Also reverence and love as well. This episode has a lot of loaded looks and I ate them all up. We started this scene with her face hard and holding a lot anger still. Then Tim melts it with his genuine vulnerability and sharing of what going to get help has done for him. Not only that but giving her props for the original advice in the first place. I'm beaming with delight.
We move onto Tim is being anxious his sessions are going be heard for evidence cause of the FBI investigation. Ugh. This kicks Lucy's brain into gear about that. Asking if he said anything revealing about her? His reply had me rolling. I adore him making a joke like this. Letting her know he mentioned ‘Freak in the sheets.' about her. I’m dying. I have no doubt there is some truth to that for them both LOL Look at our boy making jokes and getting her to laugh. God it was so so nice to see her laugh again. He earns a smile out of her too. The first time he's been the cause of that since her gifted her that KIA Radio in 6x05. I'm floating. They're both smiling by end of this scene. *sigh* We needed this.
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We got to see some BAMF Lucy in this moment. Something that just like Tim in confident T.O. Mode has been missing since 6x06. I love her being like take this guy my man is in trouble. Getting him dropped off and instantly taking off after Tim. Who is also trying to pull off some bad assery tbh. A little recklessly but that's why Lucy is coming after him.
She see's his play and wants to be there to back it. Literally waste's no time in pursuit of him. Peels right out of that damn laundromat after him. Tim's play going south VERY quickly when this guy catches on to him in the bed of the truck. Sends his gun flying and my heart racing.
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Adore the worried wifey look as she watches from the car. It's pouring out of her in that brief shot. Well done Melissa. Just like Eric she knows how to convey so very much with just a look. Lucy knows Tim is in trouble. That she can't just sit there in pursuit of the vehicle without helping him.
Especially after she watches him get pulled into the cab. Knowing that he is currently at a tactical disadvantage. No way in hell she is leaving him to fight this guy off alone. Telling Lopez to take the wheel as she makes her way out to help him.
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Lopez's face when she makes the jump is shocked and amazed. Lucy continuing her BAMF streak on this OP. I loved the surprised look on Tim's face when she first jumps on the truck. Like he can't believe she just risked her life to come help him out. He can't stay in the feeling long as she takes the guy out for them. But it needed to be noted his utter surprise she was there to have his back. Risked her life to do so. Such a bad ass battle couple. Back to back finales we get to watch them be poetry in motion in the field with a battle.
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Oh my lord what an epic scene to watch. Lucy jumping onto that moving truck bed to save her man. They take him down together. Their work dynamic easily coming back into play here. They don't miss a beat in this moment. Working as harmoniously as they always have in the past together in the field. I love the looks shared once they've stopped the truck.
Especially Tim's. He is so damn impressed with her. Always finds a way to blow him away with the bad ass she's become. Man is falling in love all over again. It shows all over the two looks he gives her in this scene. First one is his falling back in love again. I mean he already was but think sunk him deeper. Second one is more of just being in awe of her. The pride he feels watching the amazing cop she's developed into. I love these two so much.
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Let me start with how happy it makes my heart that Tim smiles when she walks up to him. Despite all the hurt just the sight of her elicits a smile out of him automatically. His walking sunshine. Love of his damn life. She truly is his happy place in human form. Lucy making a crack about him taking a half day. Their banter still simmering beneath the surface. It's a little subdued in this moment but it's alive and well with Tim's reply. He is ever the gentlemen letting her go first.
His elevator version of holding the door for her. That chivalry never dying with him. It's the little things. Can't ignore how Lucy is looking at this man the entire scene. From start to finish. With such reverence and love. Still so in love with this man standing in front of her. Lucy can't help it. She is a moth to a flame with him. Especially with Tim thanking her for saving his life. Let's delve into that a little shall we? Tim Bradford is saying he didn't have it. Admitting fault he would've lost that battle without her.
Saying not only did he not have it but Lucy did. That he wouldn't be standing here without her. Giving her the kudos and all the praise for saving his life. Far cry from 1x01 and his future reaction to that moment in S5. This is a different Tim we see standing before us everyone. The amount of growth in this moment is immense. Because not only did she save his life but she saved him in a deeper sense. Feels like it's truly hitting him like a freight train the impact she's had on his life. I think there is double meaning to his words above. It's what leads him into this next section below.
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The loving expression on Lucy's face when she replies ' You're Welcome.' That look of I'm still in love with you, I would do anything for you despite the hurt, and her realizing the deeper meaning of Tim thanking her. The growth she is currently seeing in him is prompting this soft/warm look and even softer reply. It's what encourages Tim to say his next portion. You can see him psyching himself up before he turns around to apologize. To own what he's done to them. To her.
Tim starts his apology by telling her he knows what he’s done (thank you lord for this) That he knows he ruined everything. You sure did babe...but you’re gonna earn it all back I know it. Lucy has the most loving and forgiving nature. The biggest heart. Also we can see there is still a tinge of anger to her expression at first above. So that journey will not be an easy one for Tim. Nor should it be. He has a lot to make up for. But my god will it be worth it in the end. I truly believe that. I'm going to be crying river's when we get there.
Look at how he has grown. Immediately spilling his guts emotionally to her twice in one episode. Not once but TWICE. Hell three times really. With saying she saved him and admitting fault to what he's done. I can't get over this. He had two really hard conversations with her in this episode. Swallowing that pride of his he's trying to hard to overcome. Doing this in order to communicate better with her. To show her he's putting in the time and the effort. To let her know he knows he messed up and is owning that. Something Tim wouldn't have done before. At least not easily. These are great strides for him. I couldn't be prouder of where they are ending the season for him. Imma need more therapy though in S7 you hear me writers?
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Tim thanking Lucy for extending him the kindness she has shown him. *my damn heart.* That he can never explain how much he appreciates it. That she could've easily turned on him and he would've understood. But that's not Lucy. We all know that's not who she is. Or ever will be. It's that forgiving nature of her's that is one of the many reasons Tim is so damn gone for her. I think there is once again a double meaning to his words. To me Tim is saying this is for far more than just post break up. It's for their entire relationship. Together/apart and especially when they were not 1-4. The kindness and the empathy she's aways shown him. Even at his worst.
Like I said earlier it's all hitting him hard. The place she held in his life for so long and the impact she's had on him. Imma cry. A giant epiphany moment for Tim I think. Maybe starting to slowly understand the unconditional love she has for him. This scene made me tear up. That anger that is still present melts away a little more for Lucy. If she continues to see Tim work on himself. He shows her his continued growth. No reason she wouldn't take this man back when he's put in the work to re-earn that place in her life. Tim saying he's gonna spend rest of his life repaying her back for said kindness. *screams into the void.* In whatever small doses she allows of course.
Respecting her boundaries and hoping she will allow him to do so. It's the sweetest most sincere part of his apology. The way she looks at him as he departs. *heart clutch* You can see he's stunned her into silence. But also Lucy can see the growth in him and it’s written all over her face. This is a fantastic way to end the season for them. It wouldn’t be right to get back together right now or even just a 'we almost died' hook up. (Wonderful fic's out there for that just recently BTW.) Just wouldn’t. As much as my shipper soul LONGS for them to be back together. Legit longs so much it hurts. This was a good way to end them for the season. With some hope, some growth and a path forward leading us to S7.
Some Final thoughts below. With a Chenford hug to this lovely fandom of ours.
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First off I want to thank you all for doing this not so mini review journey with me. I was nervous to do them. Even after doing 9 plus months of them with 1-5. This was different. It was first impressions. Hope you all enjoyed them. I'm more than happy to do this next season too. First impression thoughts for S7 as well if you are all interested. Let's move onto some final thoughts I'm having. You know months could pass by when we get to 7x01 in their timeline. I’m hoping he’s in therapy during this duration. Ready to prove he wants to earn her trust back. To earn her back. I don't think for one second that moment in the elevator is the last deep conversation they're going to have before we get a reconciliation. Tim has her love. Always has. Always will.
Lucy's decisions and responses in 6x10 show that. No matter what she loves this man. What he needs to gain back is her trust. To prove over and over again. He's there to stay. To show her through kind acts. To rebuild his rapport with her. I’m excited for that journey cause when we get there. *phew* God the fandom is gonna implode with happiness. It’ll be well earned. Their relationship is going to be even better with the growth Tim has done. (Hoping for some more for Lucy as well and getting the support she needs/deserves)We saw massive results in this episode alone. Can you imagine how it’ll be when they’re back together? *chefs kiss* it’ll make all the hurt and pain so worth it.
Getting emotional writing about this. This ship has a stranglehold on my emotions and I’m ok with it. Eric and Melissa love our passion for this couple. So I won’t be ashamed for the affect it has on me. I’m excited for s7. It’ll be a long hiatus. But we will get through it together. I will probably wait till mid July to do my thoughts fully fleshed out for S6. Think we all need time for finale to settle. For us too as well. I'm most definitely not ready to re-dive into everything just yet. Especially 6x05/6x06. But I'm hoping couple month hiatus for me will help with tackling that. Then we can start that journey for us all to go on with my deeper analysis.
As always thank you all for the likes, comments and reblogs. For being interested in my thoughts at all. It means the world you have no idea. Love this fandom, love this show and this incredible ship we are so fortunate to have. So once again thank you all for being on this journey of S6 with me. Like said earlier I’ll get started in my fleshed out S6 reviews come mid July. :)
~~~
Side notes-Non chenford
Monica cleaned up a mess for Blair. Manipulated her by helping her most Monica thing I've ever heard. Glad to finally have answers to that. I knew it felt like manipulation. She had too much of a conscience to be dead inside and doing it for money. Sucks cause she is very good at her job. That scene with Aaron was a mic drop moment for him. So proud of how far he came this season as well.
Friggin Nolan never listens. And get shot for not listening. In the ass. Because he's a pain in one. Was apropos. Also he's right back to being a dumb putz to me. It was short lived john you made it half an episode before falling out of my good graces LOL
Once again music amazing for their final scenes whoever handled that this season crushed it. Bringing out all my emotions.
See you all later this summer for my in-depth ones. Till then be kind and rally around each other. Gonna be a long hiatus.
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skzdust · 3 months
Text
Room 514
Part 3
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Sorry this part took so long! I finally had a ton of time to write this morning and I'm getting a lot done! I hope you guys all enjoy it!
Summary: You’re moving into a new suite halfway through your sophomore year at Stay University, populated by three guys: Jisung, Changbin, and Bang Chan. You meet their friends and quickly become a part of their group, but you find yourself wanting more with Jisung…
Pairing: Han Jisung x Reader
Includes: sleepy reader, sleepy Jisung, shirtless Jisung, shopping, Jisung being a gentleman
Word count: 1.5k
Taglist (Comment on a post/send an ask if you'd like to be added): @weirdowithaphone, @caught-in-the-afterglow, @palindrome969, @skzstan12345
Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated!!!
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5
Masterlist
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You blinked your eyes open as a beam of sunlight fell over your face.
Apparently, you’d fallen asleep in the living room. You didn’t remember putting a pillow next to Jisung and curling up with your head against it, nor did you remember Jisung going to get another blanket, but he must have at some point. You were still under the fluffy throw he’d brought out when you’d first started The Immortal and the Restless, and you could see a blue quilt out of the corner of your eye.
You carefully sat up, trying not to disturb Jisung. He was in the same fetal position you’d woken up in, with his head on top of the pillow instead of against it. His quilt was draped over him, and you could see the corner of the fabric scrunched in one of his hands. The morning light made his hair seem to glitter as the air from the ceiling vent gently played with it, and his face was serene and unguarded.
He rubbed one of his eyes as you stood up from the couch. You held your breath as he stretched. The blanket slid off his side as he unfolded his legs, and your eyes widened as his back arched.
He opened his eyes with a sleepy smile, and you made your expression as normal as possible.
He scrunched up his nose. “What’s wrong? You’re making a weird face.”
“Nothing’s wrong, I’m making a normal face.”
“Mhm.” He smiled again, closing his eyes and letting his head fall sideways onto the pillow. “Normal face.” He ran one of his hands through his hair.
You fought the urge to also run a hand through his hair. “How many episodes in did we get last night?”
He shrugged, eyes still shut. “Dunno. I think I turned it off after three, but they’re each an hour long and I was mostly asleep by the third one.”
“Yeah.” You yawned. “I only really remember the first half of the second one.”
“It’s okay. We can rewatch. No rush.”
“I liked what I remember.”
His smile grew a little bigger. “Good, glad to hear that. It’s one of my favorites.”
You looked at him for a moment longer. His eyes were still closed, and he looked so relaxed, more relaxed than you’d ever seen him.
He opened his eyes and raised his eyebrows, and your cheeks reddened.
“Staring? I know, I know, I’m gorgeous, you just can’t take your eyes off me.”
“That’s not it, I… you’re… ugh.”
He laughed softly. “Just kidding.” He stretched again and sat up. “I am gonna take a shower, though. Maybe we could do something after, if you don’t have calculus to do?”
You did your best not to imagine Jisung in the shower and waved a hand, dismissing both your thoughts and Jisung’s concern. “Calculus isn’t due until Tuesday. It’s Sunday. Plenty of time.”
“Okay, well, I’ll meet you out here in a few minutes and we’ll figure out somewhere to go.”
You nodded. “Sounds good.”
You went back to your room and sat on your bed, staring forward.
Did that really just happen?
You got changed and did your morning hygiene, changing your outfit a couple of times before deeming it good enough. You went back out to the living room and sat down on the couch, scrolling on your phone for a minute.
A staticky noise stopped, and you realized Jisung was still in the bathroom. He must’ve just turned off the shower.
A minute later, the bathroom door opened.
Jisung’s hair was wet, wearing a towel draped around his remarkably hot waist and… nothing else.
You looked down, hoping he wouldn’t notice you.
“I’ll be ready in a minute.” Jisung smiled at you as you looked at him.
You focused on keeping your eyes on his face and not his body, smiling back. “Cool.”
As Jisung disappeared into his room, you took a deep breath.
His body is perfect, too. That’s really not fair.
He walked out a minute later in a jeans and a green hoodie layered under a leather jacket. “Anything you’d like to do?”
You shrugged. “Nothing’s coming to mind except shopping, but I’m kinda broke right now, so I dunno about that.”
“We can try stuff on, though!” Jisung tossed his car keys from one hand to the other. “Come on, I’ll drive us to the mall.”
“Okay, I can try stuff on.”
Jisung beamed. “Perfect.”
The mall wasn’t particularly close, but it was a pleasant drive. You chatted the whole way, and Jisung was a good driver, unlike many of your friends—your old friends, you reminded yourself. Strangely, thinking of them didn’t hurt when you were with Jisung.
You parked and got out of the car, Jisung running around the front and opening your door for you.
“Thank you.”
“Of course.” His smile was like sunshine as he shut the door behind you and locked the car.
You walked into the mall, and he took your hand, guiding you towards a store with a few cute tops in the window. “Ooh, these are cool!”
You walked in and found one of the tops in your size, a light green bustier with ruching across the front and cap sleeves. “Isn’t this one cute?”
“Very cute.” Jisung agreed. “You should try it on!” “I think I will.” You nodded and walked off in search of a dressing room.
You put on the top, struggling with it a bit before realizing there was a side zipper. It looked great on you, fitting like a glove.
You pulled back the curtain and walked out. “Jisung?”
“Here!”
You walked out to the sitting area outside the dressing rooms, doing a little twirl for him.
He smiled, watching you. “Beautiful, you look… amazing.”
“Aw, thank you.” You did a little curtsey, immediately realizing it made no sense since you weren’t wearing a skirt and the top wasn’t that fancy. “I don’t know why I did that.”
Jisung laughed. “It was cute. How much is the top?”
You tried not to think too hard about Jisung calling you cute and looked at the price tag, doing a double take. “Wow, 85 dollars.”
“Damn.” Jisung’s lips twisted. “It looks good, though. Do you want me to get it for you?”
“No, I couldn’t let you do that.” You waved off his offer. “I’d feel bad.”
“I want to, though!”
“I’d feel guilty, though!” You mirrored his language.
Jisung sighed. “Go change back, and we can keep looking, there was this sweater vest with an apple on the front that I really liked.”
“Why don’t you try it on? You’d probably eat it up.”
“I would.” Jisung preened. “Maybe I will.”
You walked back into the dressing room and put your T-shirt back on, carefully adjusting the top on its hanger and walking back out to Jisung. You hung it up on the return rack. “Where’s the sweater vest?”
“Over here.” He stood up, and you followed him to the sweater vests.
“It’s cropped! Cute.” You took it off the rack, feeling the material between your fingers. “Oh, it’s soft, too.”
“Perfect.” Jisung pulled out the vest in his size, and you went back to the dressing rooms. He pranced out a moment later with the sweater vest on.
The crop exposed the bottom part of his abs, and his arms were muscular. The combination of the light green of the trim, the red of the apple, and the cream background looked great on him.
You were reminded of earlier in the morning, when you’d seen him shirtless, and you could feel yourself go red.
“It looks great!”
“Everything okay? You look a little flushed.” Jisung looked concerned.
“Yeah.” You laughed. “All good, just a bit hot.”
“Yeah, it is warm in here.” Jisung nodded, and you exhaled, a little bit relieved. “But you like it?”
“I love it.” You said sincerely.
“Maybe I’ll get it.” He pulled at the hem. “It’s a little tight, but I want it a little tight. I like to wear either oversized stuff or tight stuff. No in between.”
“It’s a good style on you.” Both of those options are really hot.
“Okay, I’m gonna change out of this, if you want to look around a little more, I’ll find you.”
You stood up. “Okay, perfect.”
You walked over to one of the racks, looking at a pink satin top with a large bow across the front. It was cute, not quite your style, but very cute. You walked through the store, but nothing else caught your eye the way the green top had.
Someone tapped you on the shoulder, and you whirled you around, startled.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Jisung smiled, holding out a bag.
“Hm?”
“Look inside.”
You did so. Inside was your green top, a receipt stuffed on top of it.
You looked back up at him. “You did not.”
He gave you a mischievous smile. “I did.”
“Jisung! I told you it’d make me feel guilty!”
“Don’t feel guilty! I did it because I wanted to! It looks like it was made for you.”
You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling, taking the bag. “Thank you. I’ll wear it, I promise.”
“You definitely need to. I also got that sweater vest, which has green trim, so we can kinda match!”
“Perfect!”
“Perfect.” Jisung beamed.
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dangerpronebuddie · 3 months
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Tease Tidbit Tuesday!!
Tagged by @tizniz @inell who both shared WONDERFUL stuff y'all should absolutely show some love!! 💜🩷
This wip is both heaven and hell for me. It's new territory, but I really want to write it. I shared a little bit in Screenshot Friday, and a few of y'all did see what it was 😁. For some insane reason, I'm writing a time loop fic for 7x04. Why did I do this to myself? I don't know. But I'm having a lot of fun with it so far. Shockingly, I have more of the ending than the actual plot written so... 😅. Slow going. Oh well! Have some of what happens in loop one, during my favorite part of the episode:
"Well listen, I- I think it's great..." Just like in his dream, he trips over his words. He doesn't know why. He's had the stutter his whole life. It only comes out when he's really excited or really nervous (see also: fucking terrified). He's not either of those things now, so why does it feel like he's forcing the words out? His crush on Tommy shouldn't be affecting him this much. First the hangar and now this? Get a grip, Buckley, it's not that deep. Eddie looks up at him with a raised brow. Fuck, he noticed. Buck does his best to cover up... whatever it is he's trying to hide: "you know? You- you can't have enough friends, right?" Eddie smiles at that, a small and proud thing, and Buck is proud of him. He's come so far in his healing and he's finally allowing himself to be happy. Buck should be ecstatic! But... Why does he have to be so happy with Tommy? “Right,” Eddie says before looking away. “Y’know, it's like that thing when you meet somebody and you just… click. Y’know what I mean?” Something squeezes painfully in Buck's chest. For a split second, he thinks he's having another embolism. But his blood keeps pumping, his heart keeps beating… and cracks a little at his words. It's not a dig, surely not. Eddie wouldn't… But then, he has been all over creation with Tommy the last few weeks. Maybe they do click better than Buck ever could. With either of them. “I do,” he says once he unsticks his tongue from the roof of his mouth. “I really do.”
(tags under the cut. As always please let me know if you want to be added/ removed):
@13shadesofanni @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @loveyouanyway
@ronordmann @steadfastsaturnsrings @daffi-990 @kitteneddiediaz
@exhuastedpigeon @hippolotamus @diazsdimples @thekristen999
@actuallyitsellie @fortheloveofbuddie @wildlife4life @theotherbuckley
@rainbow-nerdss @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @lunarspark-cos @idealuk @shipperqueen6 @slowlyfoggydestiny
@misshiss727 @lin27 @jshadow01 @orangeboxfox92
@thegeekcompanion @emilybahu @lemotmo @awolfnamed-nyx
@kaseysgirl86-blog @darkrose6578 @totallynotagoraphobic @dandelioncasey @bibuckbuckgoose @whatsgoodinthehood22
@lady-elaine @buckley-diaz-rules @buddiedaydreamer911 @monroemary @pirate-hunter
@nonspeakingkiku @eddiedisasterdiaz @drunkandsupportiveeddie @traumabuddies @epicbuddieficrecs @elvensorceress @disasterbuck
@tofanasmuse @gnoeltop and anyone else who wants to share!! 🥰🩷
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spidermans-l-o-v-e-r · 3 months
Text
Orange Blossoms
Pairing: Buck x Reader
Word count: 7.7k
Notes: No cause actually I’m just finishing this now and it comes out Thursday how could I do this to myself it’s Tuesday. And more importantly why is it so LONG cause it’s cute that’s why and this is the SET UP chapter okay
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Episode 6: Beach Blanket Bingo
Approximately three weeks after your first date Buck has the third one all set up and ready to go
He did not want to wait, in fact, he wanted to plan five dates in five days which would have been cute but Eddie said no. He had to take his time and show you that he cared about you so he went along with it because Eddie was his patience.  
Eddie helped him set the whole thing up, they went to Target and had a little shopping spree. They bought a cute pink blanket, a checkerboard print picnic basket, and two beach chairs. Eddie threw in a few other things, A couple of portable silverware sets, and a strawberry-shaped serving bowl. Actually, he got two of those because he really wanted one too. 
Everything they have is very colorful and Buck hopes you like it. Eddie knows a private beach area, from a friend and he got that spot for Buck just for tomorrow 
“You really think she’s gonna like a beach date? What if she secretly hates water or something”
“Did she tell you she secretly hated water?” Eddie asks as he cuts up the strawberries for the fruit salad they’re making 
“If it’s a secret how am I gonna know” he makes a dumb face at Eddie and Eddie has to take a second, just to remember why they’re friends and why he loves this man 
“Yeah…you’re so right” He puts his head down, returning to cutting the strawberries. 
“Anyway” Buck throws some grapes he cleaned off into the bowl and pops one in his mouth 
“I should probably get cooking. You mind being my guinea pig?” 
“For what?” Eddie asks warily as he slides the strawberries off his cutting board and into the bowl 
“I’m trying out a new seasoning mix for burgers I want to know if it’s good and I can’t eat it myself because then I won’t be hungry later!” 
Eddie rolls his eyes as he starts on the watermelon 
“Fine, I suppose I can suffer through this,” He says sarcastically, but his growling stomach gives him away 
Buck is so particular with the way he cooks these burgers, he’s so careful about how he seasons and what he seasons with and Eddie sits on the counter, handing him things and watching him. He even times how long he cooks each side and puts the bacon in the oven 
“You’re doing great dude,” Eddie says as he holds out the plate Buck puts the toasted bun on 
“You think so?” 
“I have literally no idea how this could suck. Like it’s beautiful” He hops off the counter, setting the plate down and Buck plates it exactly how he wants it to be and takes a couple pictures
“Ketchup or not?” He teases him and Buck rolls his eyes as he hands him the ketchup
“After you try it plain. You probably won’t even want it!!” 
“Oh, we’ll see about that” Eddie pokes at his side before picking the burger up and taking a bite out of it. Buck puts his hands to his face, nervously watching as Eddie takes his time considering it. He sets it back down and puts his hands on Buck's shoulder 
“That’s the most delicious thing you’ve ever made me in our entire lives and you’re right I don’t want ketchup”
Buck has four swimsuits he could possibly wear and a speedo Eddie said that he should burn and it literally didn’t even fit his junk properly 
Not his fault he’s too big for it
So he and Eddie settle on his shortest pair because it shows off his thighs the best and they’re really short and they make his butt look good and they really think you’ll appreciate that
Not to mention they have super cool sharks on them. 
“You nervous?” Eddie asks as he blows up the cute pink and white beach ball that Buck bought especially for you 
“Incredibly. Like what if I mess this up?? You’re usually there to save me, what if she thinks I’m like a freak or something, or what if I accidentally drown her”
“How?? How would you accidentally drown her?” 
“It’s called an “accident” Eddie! I don’t know! Oh god, what if she can’t swim?!” 
“Then you get to hold her in the water? You haven’t asked her if she can swim?”
“Oh god, I should have asked oh my god. Eddie!! I’m already ruining this!!”
Eddie rolls his eyes and takes out his phone, dialing your number “You’re not ruining anything Buck you’re putting way too much on yourself, she would not have accepted a beach date if she couldn’t-“ 
“Oh hey!” Eddie holds the phone up between him and Buck “Just a silly, crazy, cute lil question… can you swim?”
“Uhhh” He hears through the phone and he looks horrified as you take too damn long to answer this question 
“Y/N” Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose and you nervously giggle, Buck looks like he’s about to have a heart attack. In fact, he sits down on the floor just staring at his hands 
“Yes, Eddie?” You say so sweetly he’s sure his teeth just rotted 
“You can’t swim, can you?” 
“Okay okay hear me out-“
“Y/N!!”
“Hear me out!!” You yell and Eddie groans loudly as Buck lays out on the floor, waiting for death to take him 
“I’m not a strong swimmer okay!! But you know… I can… float and do little kicks….”
“Jesus fuc-“
“Besides!!! I figured you know… um… see okay I was thinking that I could just tell Buck when we went into the water and just ask him if he didn’t mind holding onto me you know?? I just- I thought hey maybe he’d want to and- and that way like-“
“Are you telling me you’re using the fact that you can’t swim to get Buck to have to keep his hands on you??”
“For safety!!” 
Eddie hears May laugh and you shush her, he looks down at Buck who’s got his hands over his face and he can’t tell what he’s feeling. 
“Don’t tell him okay?? He might back out if he knows” 
“I don’t think he’d back out, he’d rather die than cancel a date ”
“Promise me you won’t tell him!!” You whine and he rolls his eyes 
“Fine. God. Goodbye, Brat.”
“Bye, bestest friend in the entire world!!!”
Eddie scoffs as he hangs up, nudging Buck's foot with his.
“God sometimes I think you two dumbasses really were made for each other…Well?” 
Buck squeals at a level only dogs can hear and Eddie slaps his hand over his face 
“She wants me to hold her!!” 
“I’m packing water wings” 
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This was such a bad idea, this was the worst idea he and Eddie could have ever come up with. Why did he think he could do this? 
He and Eddie picked you up together from the house, Eddie came with you as a decoy because Buck just had to pick you up from the house. 
Eddie lets out a low whistle as they look up from their phones, Buck’s mouth drops open and Eddie closes it for him 
You’re walking towards them, a little skip in your step. You’d just bought a new swimsuit anyway so Buck’s idea of going to the beach was perfect. The red material clings to your body, it's low on your chest and cut high on your hips. May called it your Baywatch swimsuit as you spun around giggling while showing it to her the other day. 
“Are you gonna be okay?” Eddie asks as they watch you walking over to them. That bounce in each step is causing him to feel things 
“Huh?” He mumbles, still staring at you. It feels like it’s taking years for you to get to the car, Oh okay he kinda understands the slow-motion runs now. 
“Hi, guys!” You say as you open the front door and climb into the jeep. Eddie wolf whistles and you giggle, handing him your bag to put in the back 
“Damn, Pamela” He jokes and you roll your eyes, pulling your cover-up tighter around your body 
“That’s literally what May said. I think it’s cute!” 
“Oh trust me I’m not disagreeing in the slightest,” He says, putting his arms on the backs of your seats 
“You think he’s ever gonna snap out of it?” You turn your body towards Buck and Eddie and Eddie shrugs 
“Eventually… this one really is a banger though sweetheart it might take him a minute”
“Does he even know I’m in the car?” 
Buck’s hands are on the steering wheel, his palms are sweaty, and his stomach flutters like crazy… maybe he’s sick. He’s definitely sick, he’s gotta be sick. He should cancel the date he doesn’t wanna make you sick 
“Buck?” You poke at his arm 
“Breathe… dude” Eddie rubs his shoulders and Buck starts to relax slowly 
His voice is robotic and plain, and his hands grip the wheel tighter
“Hello, you look nice. Are you ready to go?” 
Eddie falls back in his seat laughing and you pull him into your chest, hugging him
“Buck come on!” You whine as you smother him like he does to you 
“Snap out of it so we can have fun!” 
He groans loudly and wraps his arms around you, nuzzling his head into your bare chest, definitely getting glitter all over his face and hair 
“You look So. Damn. Good. I swear Y/N I could just eat you up right here right now” 
“Please don’t do that. We’re still in the driveway” Eddie says from the backseat, reminding you both oh yeah he’s still here 
“Wait the driveway is your problem?” Buck turns to face Eddie, still keeping his head on your chest 
“Why did you say it like that” Eddie slaps his arm and Buck starts giggling as he finally pulls away, he starts up the jeep again and leaves the driveway to drop Eddie back off at home 
“It’s fun to harass you” 
He reaches for you as soon as he gets to a stop sign, cupping your face in his hands, he lets everyone go first as he kisses you, sliding his tongue in your mouth and wrapping it around yours. Your cheeks flush deeply, the butterflies in your stomach going wild as you kiss him back, fighting him for dominance 
“Oh my god, do you want me to freaking drive? Go!” Eddie yells at Buck as cars start to honk behind him and he pulls away quickly, hitting the gas. 
You hook your phone up to his Bluetooth and pull up the playlist he’d made for you. Jessie’s Girl plays through the speakers and you squeal, turning up the volume. You play the guitar while Eddie does the drums and Buck looks over at you, enjoying the way you sing into your fake microphone and cue Eddie for his drum solo 
“You’re singing this, way too intensely” Buck looks down over his sunglasses into the rearview mirror at Eddie as you and he sing together and he bursts out laughing, falling over in the backseat as you kick your legs, hiss laughing 
“Shut up!” 
After your little laughing fit you mostly talk with Eddie as you drive back to his place, he’s not coming with so you give him a little extra attention, but that doesn’t stop you from cuddling up to Buck and blowing in his ear softly. At first, it tickles and he’s trying to fight you off with one hand while you giggle and keep blowing. But one particular moment sends a spark of electricity down his spine and he’s fighting a boner with every… bone in his body. He shifts awkwardly and his eyes shoot up to Eddie’s in the review mirror, silently begging him to save him and he shrugs, getting your attention back easily and Buck can finally breathe again.
Which isn’t even easy in the first place because you smell good. He wonders what it is, he could bathe in it. Maybe you’ll spray some on his pillow for him, he’d do it for you in a heartbeat if you asked. 
He’d do a lot of things for you if you asked. 
Once you pull into Eddie’s driveway he hops out and you open the door, giving him a big hug. He winks at Buck who rolls his eyes and flips him off 
“I’ll see you two later! Enjoy your day!” He steps back from the Jeep waving as Buck pulls out of the driveway 
“Bye, Eddie!! Have a good day!!” You wave back as you speed off toward the beach. 
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Buck and Eddie showed up earlier and got everything all set up so when he grabs the picnic basket from the backseat and takes your hand his nerves quiet just a little. He really wants this date to go well, Eddie was right, he wants to show you how much he cares. 
“Buck this is really cute,” You say as you kneel down on the blanket and reach out for the basket. He hands it to you before sitting down and straightening out the blanket a little 
“I can’t take all the credit, Eddie helped set things up” He watches you take out the food and set it out. You grab a plate and serve him first and he blushes, it’s so domestic and it makes his heart do flips 
“I should be doing that for you” He takes the spoon from your hand and puts some of the fruit salad on a plate for you and you sit with your legs out in front of you 
“You did everything else, the least you can let me do is serve you, it’s not that difficult you know” 
“I know… but I want to do it anyway. He hands you the plate and you smile, leaning forward and kissing him sweetly
“Thank you, for everything”
“It’s my pleasure, Doll,” He says, kissing your nose and sitting back with his plate 
You and Buck eat the fruit salad first because it’s your favorite part and you taste even sweeter when he kisses you again. His hand trails up your smooth thigh, pulling you closer to him by your hip. He nuzzles his head against yours and you melt into his touch. He smiles, pulls away, and goes back into the basket 
“You know we should probably actually eat” 
“Personally I think there are more interesting things to taste but okay” You shrug and his cheeks turn red 
“Oh haha, very funny” He sticks his tongue out and you bat your eyelashes playfully 
“What can I say, I’m a slut for a dirty joke” you quote him from earlier and he slaps your thigh, handing you a warm bowl. You take off the lid and there’s a delicious-looking burger inside. 
“Where did you get this” Your mouth is already watering as you put the little container up to your face, inhaling the delicious aroma 
“I made them myself! But wait-“ he grabs a couple of buns from a bag and hands you one “I didn’t want these getting soggy” 
You carefully take the burger from the container and put it on the bun, he hands you a napkin, and you wipe your hands off before putting the bacon on and wiggling a little 
“It’s gorgeous,” you say through fake sniffles and he rolls his eyes smirking when you take a bite. Your eyes widen before rolling back in your skull and you sigh 
“Oh Buck” you moan and his cheeks flush deeply. He knows you mean his cooking but like…. Like could you just do that again??
“I think I’m in love” You giggle as you eat and he opens the bag of chips for you both 
“Well that makes two of us” he winks and you blush as you take the chips and nibble on one 
It’s quiet when you’re eating and you can’t help it, because it’s good and who even knew Buck could cook, because he hadn’t cooked for you before and now you wish he would again, or maybe you could cook for him next time, you set your empty container aside, leaning back in your chair a little as you chew the tip of your sunglasses in deep thought 
“What are you thinking about?” Buck asks as he sips his capri sun “You kinda zoned out a little there” he chuckles and you shrug 
“Maybe… for one of our dates? I could do something for you. I want to do our next date okay? You can have the last one!” 
“Awww you don’t have to! I like spoiling you” He boops your nose and you giggle, wiping off your hands grabbing the hand sanitizer, and spraying it 
“I want to Buck!! You deserve to be spoiled too” 
“I can think of other ways you could spoil me,” he says dreamily and you roll your eyes as you stand up and stretch out for a second before bending over to grab a drink from the cooler. You fall out of your top a little and stop for a second, putting your hand over your chest 
“Hey! That was one of them” 
“Oh shut up!!” You swat his thigh and stand tall, opening your little drink 
He eases himself out of his chair and onto the ground, pushing his chair away a little, and opens his arms
“C’mere cutie” 
You step over him and he looks up at you, goddamn are you a sight to behold as you straddle his lap and sit down. 
“There we go! Nice and comfy” he smirks and you wrap your arms around his neck 
“Oh yeah, soooo comfy,” you say as his hands slide down to your ass and squeeze gently 
“Oh? Is this not to your liking?” He slides his hands up your sides while laying back and bringing you with him. You blush as you’re laid out on him 
“How about this?” 
“Even better” you purr and he sighs, his hands shaking a little as he feels you up 
“You wanna go swimming soon?” He cups your face in his hands, mushing it around and making silly faces and you snicker, pushing his hands away
“Yeah!! But um… I gotta tell you something about that” You say quietly and he slaps his hands on your butt, making you jump and yelp and you punch his chest 
“And what would that be?” He starts tapping out a little beat on your butt and you reach behind you trying to bat his hands away but he just smacks your butt 
“Would you quit that!!” You wriggle on him and he gasps, his hands stalling. 
“Oh? Oh, you like that huh?” You smirk evilly 
“I mean you’re literally inadvertently grinding on me so yeah I think I like that” 
“You want me to do it on purpose?” You ask quietly, reaching up to twirl his hair with your finger. His mouth drops open 
“Wait- seriously?” 
“If you don’t want-“ You start to get up and he shakes his head fast, pushing you down against him by your ass 
“No- no!! I want, I want!!” He says pleadingly and you laugh, burying your face in his neck for a moment before you start to roll your hips. His breath hitches and he sighs, melting into the sand below him 
“Mmmm that’s my girl,” He says quietly as you sit up, putting more pressure on his cock 
“Did I mention you look super, super good today?” you say and he blushes 
“Really?” 
“Uh huh, your sharks are so cute” 
Buck perks up a little as he holds your hips 
“You really think so??” He sounds so cute and excited and it makes you blush at how adorable he’s being
 “I named this one Kevin!!” He points to one of the sharks on his swim trunks and you stop grinding for a second to look down 
“Hi Kevin” you giggle and wave at the little hammerhead shark and Buck sits up now, looking at Kevin 
“Yeah he’s pretty cool… just don’t tell the others” He whispers in your ear and you bite your lip before kissing him, knocking him backward into the sand again. He moans quietly, wrapping his arms around you and squishing you down onto him a bit. He laps at your tongue, tangling his with yours as he kisses you passionately and downright dirty 
“God you’re just so cute sometimes” You pant in between kisses and he pushes down on your ass as you start to grind on him again, he chuckles, grinding back against you and you gasp against his lips 
“Cute huh? I don’t wanna be cute right now…” He rolls you over onto your back and grinds into you, bending down and kissing you breathless. Your body shudders as he’s a little more aggressive with his movements now, thrusting his hips gently into yours. 
You tug on his hair, your hands tangling through it as you open your legs to him more, lost in the moment of pleasure he’s giving you. You can tell by the way he’s angling his hips he’s after one thing 
And he’s hitting it over and over again. 
Oh, he’s definitely boyfriend material. 
He gasps in your ear, a soft little pathetic noise that sends a shiver straight up your spine. Your heart flutters and your pussy clenches around nothing desperately 
“Jesus Buck” you pant, wrapping your legs around his waist and he chuckles darkly as he ruts his hips harder into yours. 
His phone rings and he completely ignores it while you claw at his back, egging him on. The heated desire between the two of you could practically make glass underneath you. You slide your hands down his lower back, going to ease his shorts down-
It starts to ring again and you turn to look at it “Who is that??” Your chest bounces with each of his thrusts and he’s practically mesmerized by the way you look underneath him 
“Uh I’m not-“ He moans desperately, letting his head fall onto your shoulder “Fuck it’s Eddie” He bites down and your body arches into him
“Shouldn’t you answer it?” You pant softly as you look over at it 
“I’m kinda busy??”
You laugh as you reach your arm out toward his phone, wiggling your fingers to grab it and answer it. He stops for a second, grabs it, hands it to you, and goes right back to kissing your shoulder and leaving hickeys across your chest 
“Hello??” 
He’s definitely not going to stop this time, in fact, he makes it worse by pulling the front of your swimsuit down 
“Buck!!” You shriek as his hands cup your breasts, he places featherlight kisses on them, trying to refrain from biting 
“Yes, beautiful?” 
“Put the phone up to his ear” Eddie hisses and you do as he says 
“I swear to god if you fuck her in the middle of this beach”
“How do you know what I’m-“
“Binoculars” 
Buck's hips freeze in place and you can hear Eddie laughing his head off 
“What did he say??” You ask and Buck looks around frantically “Uhh nothing baby nothing” He gets up, tossing a towel over your chest, and awkwardly pats it 
“I really really need to take this call,” he tells you and you nod fast handing him over the phone 
“No, go ahead!” 
He jogs away a few feet closer to the ocean so you can’t hear him 
“Where are you?!” 
“Actually pretty far, you were so nervous I thought I’d show up for a bit and make sure you were okay… and now I really wish I hadn’t” 
“Did you see…her-“ He gestures around his chest and Eddie laughs
“No, I looked away. But it seems like you don’t need me, man. So… I’m going to Chipotle”
“Wait bring me home some queso” 
“Oh yeah sure okay. I’ll send you my locaysh so you don’t have to be paranoid I’m still here”
“Wow, thanks how’d you know I would be?!” 
“Because I know you better than you do buddy. Also, she’s going toward the water, 9 o’clock”
“Mmmm I can’t tell time” Buck turns around 
“Jes- Goodbye” 
Buck jogs back over to your little picnic and tosses his phone down. He looks over at you as you walk towards the water, your backside covered in sand… god he loved that swimsuit. 
He follows after you, walking right next to your footsteps and semi-fangirling over the way they look so cute together 
“Is everything okay?” You look up at him and god you really have given him a size kink 
You’re. Just. So. Petite. He could pick you up and throw you. God okay he doesn’t wanna actually throw you. But you’re like five feet tall and that’s cute 
“Earth to Buck” you wave your hand in front of his face and he flinches “You good”
“Huh?? Oh. Oh yeah sorry I was just thinking about throwing you” 
You blink at him and he blinks back, narrowing his eyes and pursing his lips for a moment really just thinking  
“…Just gonna leave that there huh buddy?” 
“Leave what where?” He asks, looking around 
“You- you just said you wanted to throw me?” 
“Ohh…”
3…2…1…
“Oh shit! No fuck no!! Shit god no that’s!?? That’s weird I just- no I meant like you- you’re just so tiny and-“
You’re letting him dig his hole deeper as he fumbles over his words 
“And-and like so easy to pick up and like no god no I’d never throw you I- know I would never hurt you” 
You shake your head, listening to him with a wide grin on your face 
“I’m- I’m making this worse aren’t I” 
“Yes” you shake your head giggling and he groans loudly, spinning around in a little circle and throwing a tiny tantrum 
“It’s like when you see something just so darn cute you wanna squish it forever!!” 
“So you’re saying you think I’m so cute you just wanna throw me?” 
“Yes!!!” He throws his arms out and you nod 
“Yeah no okay I get it now. Like how I want to be Lady Dimitrescu’s vanity” 
“Goddamn, what I wouldn’t give to be that” Buck wholeheartedly agrees and you both stand there for a moment, just… dreaming. 
“So you wanna get in the water?” Buck asks 
“Okay!” 
Maybe Eddie was right, maybe you were made for each other. 
The bimbo to his himbo 
Buck sighs dreamily as he takes your hand, pulling you closer to the water. What a match made in heaven. 
You nearly drown in a wave that knocks you flat on your butt. 
You forgot to tell Buck you couldn’t swim and Buck forgot to remember you couldn’t swim. 
Both of you blame it on the messing around earlier. 
Buck pulls you up the beach before flopping down on the sand next to you, both of you panting heavily 
“You terrified of the ocean yet?” 
“I think I just swallowed half of it” 
You look over at him, you look like a drowned rat. The cutest drowned rat he’s ever seen. He chuckles as he leans into you, kissing you slowly and putting his arm over your waist 
“You wanna try that again?” 
“You promise you’ll hold onto me?” 
“I promise baby” He kisses your nose and you blush 
“Okay…” you get up, bending over to brush the sand from your legs and Buck smacks your ass 
“Hey!” You yelp and shoot up straight and he puts his hands up in mock defense 
“I was just trying to help” He pats his eyelashes sweetly 
“You’re groping me way too much today” You scold him as he takes your hand again and leads you back to the water, it seems to have calmed down 
“Honestly, if it’s too much please ask me to stop and I absolutely will. On the other hand… if you like it. You know you can do it right back, right?” He smirks as you look at him, a light blush dusting your cheeks 
“Huh?” You say and he takes both your hands, walking backward into the water 
“Might I remind you I have a butt too? A very cute one” 
You giggle as he walks you out a little deeper so you’re floating and he’s still standing 
“I also have- you know,….something else if that’s to your liking” He winks and you roll your eyes, wrapping your arms securely around his neck. He stops at a safe distance and bends his knees so he’s floating with you on top of him 
“I’m just saying… I’m giving you permission you know… if that’s something you’re interested in and you know now that I’m saying that I’m sorry I didn’t ask to use your booty as bongos”
You laugh into his shoulder and pull back again to look at him 
“It’s okay, you’ve got pretty good rhythm, and I’ve got a pretty nice ass”
“Oh boy do you” He sighs softly, tilting his head cutely “I just can’t get enough of you, my sweet, sweet little bunny” 
“Bunny huh? What happened to Doll?” You ask, booping his nose and he nods 
“It's Bunny when I’m ready to take a bite out of you” He growls and nips at your finger and you squeal, pulling away from him and he pulls you back closer
“No-no-no!!” You try to push him away from him laughing loudly “Don’t eat me!!” 
“You better watch out or my sharks are gonna get you!!” 
He purposely drags you to shallower water and lets you go and you run away 
“I can’t tell if that was an innuendo or not!!” You call over your shoulder and he nearly trips from laughing so hard 
“Oh my god, I didn’t even think about that!! Now that’s exactly what I mean!” 
You know he’s running so much slower than he really can, no matter how hard your little legs pump you know he could catch you if he really wanted… and maybe that’s what you both like about it so much. For as much as you run and dodge his lunges you know he’s just toying with you at this point and you sort of do feel like a little bunny, like his prey. 
“Awww come on! You’re starting to slow down bunny! I thought this was gonna be more of a chase!” His voice is borderline sinister? And that’s hot. 
What a great distraction. 
You shriek as his hand grabs the back of your swimsuit and yanks you backward, pulling you down into the sand with him, the waves lap against your bodies as he pins you to the ground and stares at you, his pretty eyes, dark and stormy now 
“Well, well, well, look what I’ve caught” He runs his finger down your cheek as you pant beneath him, his eyes roll back slowly as his hips connect with yours, grinding against you 
“You gorgeous, gorgeous little bunny. I like watching you run from me” He whispers in your ear, his voice dripping with a seductive husky tone. Your eyes widen as you shove him off of you, sitting up fast. He falls onto his butt, stunned for a second, and looks at you 
“Too far??” He asks worriedly and you run your hands over your hair, they’re shaking so hard he can see them 
“Y/N??” 
“That was the hottest damn thing I have ever experienced in my entire life I need a minute,” you tell him and he falls backward laughing loudly 
“You scared me! You brat!!” 
“Oh, I’m just supposed to be completely normal. When you treat me like prey?? And you’re all “Grrr, I’m…I’m some sort of…”I don’t know what kind of animal do you wanna be?” 
“I’ll be a wolf, it’s funny” 
You giggle into your hands as you fall back into the sand “Okay, my very own werewolf boyfriend, Nice!” 
“Hey I’m on TikTok, I know what booktok is okay. You’re into it” 
You burst out laughing, throwing wet sand on his chest “Are you kidding me?!” 
“Let me see your Kindle unlimited Y/N!! Let. Me. See. It” 
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Buck has another little surprise but you have to wait for it to get darker he says so instead you guys go for a walk down the beach. He’s picking up little random pieces of wood as you go 
“So you think we could have a sleepover sometime?”
He asks as he picks up another and you shrug, smiling “It sounds nice, but how are we gonna get around that one?” 
“If Eddie’s there I’m sure Bobby won’t mind” 
“Right…right Having a sleepover with two, grown, attractive, men! That totally sounds like something he’d go for!” You poke his side and he giggles 
“Maybe we can say May is invited too! She’d cover for us” 
“I could always ask her, you think Eddie will be available?” 
“Yeah to cover for us, no way am I having my best friend come over when I’m trying to have a completely innocent, wonderfully pure, amazingly sinless sleepover with my girlfriend” 
“Oh, we’re gonna fuck huh?” 
Buck bursts out laughing, grabbing your arm as he almost falls to the ground and you steady him, laughing with him. He giggles and kicks the sand, trying to stop laughing all the way back to your little slice of heaven. He drops the wood he was collecting and plops down in his chair 
“I hate you so much” 
You snort as you sit down next to him “It was funny!! You’re the one who laughed for six hours” 
He kicks some sand on your leg and you slap his thigh, to which he slaps yours. Your mouth opens a little and he sticks his tongue out at you. 
“You wanna go? Because I’ll fight you right here right now” you tell him and he flicks you off with both fingers 
“Come at me, Princess” 
He doesn’t know what he expected, even though if he was actually paying attention he would have known. You tackle him out of his seat and he yelps as you two go rolling in the sand. He screams laughing as you tickle him and kick his legs as you end up back on top of him 
“Stop!! Stop I’m gonna pee!!” He screams and bucks his hips trying to knock you off but you just hold on tighter, attacking him more
“Nice try! But I’ve won the bull riding contest at Lucky Jacks four times!!”
He grips your wrists, holding you off “Wait you’ve what???” He pants harshly, holding you back as you struggle 
“Yeah! I’m actually really good at it” 
“Are you telling me with a straight face you’re good at riding” 
You stop wriggling so much and think for a second, humming softly 
“Yeah okay, I’ll go with it. I’m amazing at riding” you purr seductively and he groans, rolling his eyes back and letting your wrists go 
“Oh god you’re my dream woman” He sighs and you giggle, bracing your hands on his chest 
“Are you good at taking it?” You ask, letting your head tilt to the side as you look down at him 
“A-am I what?” His voice is hoarse and his eyes turn wide as saucers 
“Are you good… at taking it?” You ask again and his heart nearly shoots out of his chest 
“I wouldn’t know,” he says simply, quietly. But damn is he starting to think he wants to find out 
“Are we talking about the same thing?” You giggle and he shrugs because he’s sure he’s got little hearts radiating in his eyes right now 
“I don’t know” 
You both leave it at that (much to his dismay) and you get off of him, going back over to your little setup and grabbing a dry towel from the pile Buck brought 
“Suns just about right for some last-minute tanning!” You say as you spread it out and grab another, spreading it out next to yours for him 
“Hey uh…just how private is this beach?” You ask and he looks up from the cooler where he’s grabbing two water bottles 
“Extremely, they kinda keep a tight lid on this but rent it out for parties and stuff sometimes” 
“So…there’s no danger of anyone showing up expectedly?” 
“None at all, Why?”
“I don’t really like tan lines” 
You turn away from Buck, slipping the straps of your swimsuit off and rolling it down your body so it looks like it’s just a pair of bottoms and he has to turn away before his sharks start to get a little too tight. 
He walks past you to his towel and you turn again, covering your chest with your arms 
“No peeking,” you say and he closes his eyes 
“Didn’t I literally full-on grab them earlier?” he asks and you kick his thigh lightly as you lay on your stomach, it’s not a sustainable position but it’ll be fine for a little while at least 
“Yeah, you did. You can look now” 
He looks over at you, laid out on your tummy with your legs crossed and your head resting on your hands and he smiles, shaking his head before looking up at the sky 
“I ever tell you how pretty you are?” 
You blush and shrug, “Not nearly enough” you tease 
He chuckles and scoots closer to you, your faces so close you can feel each breath he takes 
“You are the most stunning little thing I’ve ever met” His voice is husky as he turns over, trailing his fingertips down your back and you shiver under his touch “So beautiful and I get you all to myself”
“How lucky you are” you tease and he leans closer, kissing you softly 
“Damn right I am” 
You lay together in the sun for a while, just relaxing and occasionally talking. He likes to listen to you talk, he especially likes to listen to you laugh. He’s falling faster and faster every second and he’s starting to not care about Eddie saying he needs to wait to tell you he loves you 
As the sun finally starts to set, Buck gets up and dusts off his legs 
“You ready for your lil surprise?” He asks excitedly and you perk up, carefully sitting up and keeping your chest covered 
“Yeah!!” 
He turns around so you can fix your top again and picks up his towel, shaking it out 
“I wanted to just leave you here and surprise you more but to be honest I kind of want to show off” 
You snort as you get up, shaking out your own towel and taking his hand to walk back over to the chairs 
“Well whatever it is I’m excited about it” 
“You can help if you want! Or I can do it myself” 
“Well if you’d just tell me whatever it is, I’m sure I’d be happy to help” you tease him and he smirks as you both toss your towels down. He brings you a little ways away from your stuff and there’s a little pile of rocks and his sticks 
“Just make a big circle with the rocks in the sand alright? Brat” he smacks your butt and you swat his hand away, putting the rocks in a circle as he told you to, you make them pretty, setting them out nicely as he arranges his sticks in the middle 
“You know…” you start to help him pile his sticks “I’m pretty sure I know where this is going now and a firefighter starting a fire is pretty funny” 
“I’m an expert!! Trust me I can even start it with two sticks okay you’ll be so impressed!!” 
He gets up with a little pail and goes running off to the water and you watch him, shaking your head and groaning softly 
“Why is everything he does so damn cute???” 
You finish setting up the sticks for him as he comes back, setting the pail down. He can indeed start a fire with two sticks, and it is actually pretty impressive as the fire roars to life. He slowly throws some more sticks on it, feeding it carefully and you scoot next to him, putting your head on his shoulder 
“That’s pretty hot,” you tell him and he looks down at you
“Oh? Do you wanna scoot back??” 
You giggle and push him a little “No, Buck. You’re hot” 
His cheeks flush as he looks at the fire in front of you both and rolls his eyes “Oh, thanks” 
You wrap your arms around his and snuggle against him “No, thank you. Today was really really great” 
“You think so?” He pulls his arm away for a second, putting it around you instead and cuddling up with you. He kisses your head and you blush 
“Yeah I know so, I’ve never been so happy with someone before,” you say quietly and he smiles, laying his cheek on your head 
“Yeah me either” 
The sun finally sets, the air around you becoming colder as you cuddle in front of the fire. He reaches behind him and pulls over the cutest little box in the shape of a giant s’more and you laugh 
“Oh my god I love that” you smile as he hands you a skewer with a marshmallow on it and you put it over the fire 
“I saw it at Target and have never put something in my cart so fast it’s literally so cute and a total waste of money” 
You toast your marshmallows to a nice brown while Buck literally sets four on fire and this doesn’t surprise you in the least. He likes making them almost as much as he likes eating them. He looks over at you, a wide grin on his marshmallow-covered cheeks and you giggle, sitting on your knees in front of him and licking his cheek 
He snorts and tosses his head back “You could have just given me a napkin”
“No this is way funnier” You give his other cheek a little lick and he reaches forward, yanking you into his lap 
“Maybe I’ll just use you as a napkin!!” You squeak as he kisses all over your face before kissing your lips, he tastes good, like the sweet marshmallows and dark chocolate, and a little summery and warm. 
“Mmmph” You whimper against his lips and his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He can’t get enough of your body, enough of your existence. 
“So gorgeous” He mumbles against your lips and you grin, nodding along with him 
“Damn right you are”
His cheeks flush as he gets a bit shy and pulls away some
“Why do you compliment me so much?” 
You look at him curiously, pulling away now too “What do you mean?”
“I just… you tell me I’m gorgeous or- or handsome” 
“Why wouldn’t I?” You look taken aback 
“I mean- why would you??” He asks quietly, looking up at the night sky and shrugging and you take a second, looking down at the sand before looking back at him and cupping his cheek to tilt his face to you… kind of understanding now where he’s coming from 
Evan Buckley is a breathtaking man. And you’re not sure anyone’s ever told him that he’s so much more than his looks. 
“Evan Buckley, you’re one of the sweetest, most caring guys I’ve ever met. You’re funny and sensitive. And I know you try your hardest with everything you do… I’m not- I'm not just into you for your looks Buck. I’m into you for your heart and the way you care for everyone around you with every last breath in your body. You save lives every day Buck! You’re a hero, you’re my hero” 
He didn’t mean to tear up, but he couldn’t help it, no one… no one really sees him for him when he goes on dates, sometimes his friends don’t even see him.
But you do. 
He wipes at his eyes quickly, clearing his throat and rolling his eyes trying to reign himself in before looking away from you 
“You’re such a sappy baby” 
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Buck lays back, propping himself up on his elbows as he stares up at the stars. That’s his real surprise, how dark it is over here. You can see more than you ever have before. He looks over at you, watching the sky like he is and his heart melts. Your eyes are so wide and sweet, there are literal stars in your eyes
He can’t stop thinking about what you’d said, or the way you tackled him over after he called you a baby and tickled him until he had to run to the ocean to pee to which you screamed in horror and he started chasing you around the fire. 
“I love you” 
You look over at him, the fire illuminating your soft honeyed skin, and he’s sure he’s seeing an angel all over again. His heart hurts with how badly he wants you, the air is sucked from his lungs the longer he stares at you 
“I know” 
“You don’t have to say it back, we aren’t even together yet and you know today was amazing but we still have a lot to learn about each other and I love you.”
You smirk at him as he rambles, because honestly? Truly? It’s on the tip of your tongue too. 
“Eddie’s gonna kill me for this”
“I won’t tell if you won’t” You put out your pinky finger and he smiles, linking his with yours 
He drops you off at home around 2 again and he knows Athena is definitely gonna kill him for this. He always brings you home way too late. You make him park down the street from the house so you can climb into his lap and make out with him one more time before going in. It’s a bit messy, he doesn’t bother being proper as he feels you up, his hands sliding up and down your sides and over your ass. It makes you giggle against his lips and nip at them while pulling his hair back. 
“So you’ll come over tomorrow, right? Since we stayed out so late today and you’ll sleep over? Just me and you?” He looks so sweet and hopeful as he asks, like a cute little puppy wagging his tail for treats 
“That sounds like a perfect plan,” you tell him just as excitedly and he squeezes you, hugging you dramatically 
“I can’t wait to spend the night with you”
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mesetacadre · 3 days
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How do you avoid becoming a doomer with politics? I want to be more politically active but the current political climate makes me feel depressed.
talked more about this here but essentially, nothing is static. Conditions change all the time, the quantity of organized people can fall and rise (with parallel but not necessarily 1:1 development of quality). What today seems like an impassable wall, tomorrow (not literally tomorrow) will more and more began to be seen as a necessary step for an improvement to happen. The fact that there exists a scientific method of analysis of history and capitalism also acts as an accelerant; how much time passed between the first bourgeois state and the first formulation of scientific communism, 50 years? That is unprecedented in the history of modes of production, and it only took another 50-60 years after that before the first relatively permanent instance of the next mode of production.
The way I see this, inaction and pessimism feed into each other, pessimism favors inaction, and inaction reinforces pessimism, by limiting your perception because it limits personal experience. And that cycle can only be broken by first stopping that inaction, since it is possible (not always) to force yourself to act against your general feelings. And then, only by working against that inaction and finding an organization/party or general line of action that works for you, can you begin to sustain an action-optimism cycle (of course, it isn't this simple and I would not call my outlook to be optimistic, but this is the best way I can think of explaining this). This cycle is, in my experience, very fragile, and somewhat often I continue to act through periods of relative pessimism by inertia and by the continuance of the responsibilities that bind me to my party most strongly. I can keep talking about the way society and the economy evolve, but at a personal and more inmediate scale, this is the only way to avoid "doomerism", at some point you're going to have to start acting if you want to avoid it, and rethoric can help, of course, but you'll only start to internalize it once you experience becoming an active part of these mechanisms. For me, it sometimes feels like a hobby, other times like a chore, and most times like the best thing I could ever do with my life. But it's crucial that you're not only driven by blind hope. The amount of effort and time you can contribute as an individual will vary wildly, depending on your own personal circumstances, and in my experience the most common type of organized person you'll encounter is the one that can only really dedicate a few days a week or a couple of hours every few days.
There is some nuance to "you have to end your inaction" too, of course. I'm not saying to join the very first group you encounter and dedicate every minute of free time to it, but you also can't be waiting for the perfect opportunity or org to come along. I contacted my ML party on a Tuesday during a winter academic break, while I was only just beginning to stabilize out of a suicidal episode but still depressed, and while considering myself mostly an ancom (I was very lost in that regard, my beliefs were not truly emergent from any proper anarchist core, but I digress). You don't need to have read x books or need to have encyclopedic knowledge of your local movement to begin to organize yourself, and you also don't need to believe 100% in the emancipation of workers. The best time to begin is the next time you have some free time to research and begin to contact some orgs/parties, that's as best as I think I can put it. I can't assure you that it'll be straightforward, but I can assure you that you can't get out of doomerism just by thinking about it.
If it's too daunting, think about those executive dysfunction "tricks". Joining A Party can sound very big an unapproachable, but you can break it down into looking, for example, for "Communist Party of [your country]". Look at their socials, see what they do and say, maybe you find an offshoot org that looks better, or run into a completely unrelated group. Then you contact them, ask when they're doing something in your area or if they can invite you to some kind of meeting, etc. Be willing to contact them if you find a couple of drawbacks too, sometimes rumors turn into the thing everybody says about x or y org, without really reflecting reality. Have criteria, of course, if some org is talking about immigrants like they're invaders, for example, it is probably not worth your time. Everything depends on what your local scene looks like. Getting experience at a mediocre org is still better than staying at home and looking on at the state of the world like it's hopeless. this isn't a very well-structured post, I've been writing this across a few days when I can, I hope it's helpful
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bloomingdog · 5 months
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Acolyte
word count: 2.7k a/n: hii i'm going through a depressive episode and this is my fic about soap with a depressed reader cos he's my babygirl. might expand on them idk i love soap i wanna keep writing for him
Johnny is a friend of Kyle’s, and Kyle is a friend of Farah, who is your friend. And Johnny, or Soap, is here because Kyle invited him since he had “nothing better to do”. And it’s alright, he’s fun and a little loud, he talks over people but always apologises. You were a little nervous to meet him, having been promised a get-together with people you were already well-acquaintances with, but the tears in your eyes, from laughing, that is, dismiss all previous nerves.
“And then he-” He’s cut off by his own wheeze, it’s been going for a couple of minutes; him and Kyle trying to retell a story about their captain, but they keep getting interrupted by their own laughter. You don’t think it’s that funny, if anything their reactions are the thing that make you all go into hysterics. It’s hard to feel sorry for all the other patrons. 
You feel drunker than you really are, save for Farah, you only had two to three beers each. It’s the kind of silly drunkenness induced by being with friends. The forgotten UNO cards on top of the table shake as Johnny’s fist hits the table trying to catch his breath.
And the pub’s playlist keeps playing every top #1 hit from the last 20 years. And at some point you’re all performing a rendition of smash hit “500 miles”. And you’re getting giggly with sleep. And Farah’s driving you home. And she’s asking you about Johnny, which makes you giggly all over. And she’s telling you he’s single. 
And then it’s morning. And there’s a message from an unknown phone number.
“Hey. This is Johnny. 
Just wanted to let you know I had a blast last night, loved meeting you :-)” 
It makes you smile trying to figure out what to write back. Why is it so hard to sound nonchalant while also a little interested in getting to know him? 
“So did I!
Haven’t laughed that hard in a while lol”
That’s cool, right? It’s half a good response at the very least, since you get a response back.
“Wanna meet sometime?”
Oh, that’s good. At best, you get a little attention and maybe a lay, at worst you get a new friend. You keep texting throughout the day, you two fit like a puzzle piece: talkative, extroverted and active. He sends you a picture of a squirrel he saw earlier on his morning run, you send him a picture of your cat back with the caption “my asshole son” to which he replies “don’t be mean to him”. Those little interactions keep getting exchanged. On Monday, you send him a fun fact about a shark that had a virgin birth. Tuesday, he’s telling you about his fear of dogs. Wednesday is the perfect occasion for a picture of your cat, Gus, sleeping in a funny position. Thursday, your phone pings with a string of texts ranting about Glasgow City. Friday you’re texting Johnny that you’re at the restaurant you’re meeting at, a hole-in-the-wall that mastered the art of oily food and crispy chips, he replies he’s running late.
“I’m so sorry for making you wait.” Is out of his mouth before any greeting. “Are ye hungry?” It’s more a conversation starter than an actual question.
“It’s okay! No worries.” You’re just happy to be hanging out, not bothered by his tardiness. 
The two of you sit and chat, you learn he has a tattoo of a revolver but won’t say where. He laughs at the face you make while imagining where it would be. “Don’t be dirty!” He chastises, it’s within the law that you steal one of his chips as payment for the teasing. You ask where does Soap come from.
“A’m good at cleaning.” It’s a short answer that explains enough, you’re not keen on pushing the topic any further. Luckily, he changes the topic rather quickly, it looks like he’s not a big fan of silences. “Tell me aboot Gus. How’d you get him?” 
“A colleague’s cat had kittens, she was trying to find them homes, Gus was the only one left, runt of the litter you know?” He nods, listening, interested in what you have to say. “Kept pushing and showing me pictures of the guy until I caved. When I took him home he wouldn’t stop screaming, I think he might be part siamese, they’re really vocal. So, he kept me up all night, I thought he was sick or something, I even took him to the emergency vet, turns out he’s just a dickhead.” He smiles at the insult. “A very cute one, though.” You add, it’s hard not to love him even if he wakes you up at 6 a.m. on the dot.
 “Can I meet him someday?” he might if you’re lucky enough.
You might as well thank every saint, divinity, and omnipotent being for your luck tonight. He accompanies you home, only because “he’s a gentleman”, according to him. The kind of gentleman that kisses you dizzy and gets invited into your flat.
You text Farah about the events of the evening before falling asleep, it’s not kiss and tell if she’s your best friend. And in the early morning you’re both woken up by an angry Gus, whose side of the bed has been stolen by a guy that almost doesn’t fit in it. You’re cuddled on his side, one leg over his.
“Gus-Gus….” It’s a groggy mumble of displeasure, you know he only wants to be beside you, but the hour doesn’t help your mood. Still, you move away from Johnny so he can jump onto your chest for cuddles.
“He does skirl alright.” That morning voice might actually be the death of you.
“Told you. He’s an asshole.” A breathy laugh makes his bare chest move as he turns to face you.
“He’s real cute though.”
“Are you not tired?” The early morning light peeks through your window, the sun isn’t even out yet and you can’t imagine anyone that is appreciative of being woken up so early.
“Naw, no’ really. ‘M used to it.” 
It feels weird, good weird, to have him in your bed like that. Barely a week since you met, and he feels so close, more like a friend than a one-night stand, more than a friends-with-benefits. He checks the time on his phone before speaking again.
“Ye want breakfast?” Your eyes are closed again, hugging Gus close to your chest, hand moving up and down his fur but not doing much to pet him. His call of your name is answered by a groan, it makes him chuckle. He scoots closer to you, you can feel his arm coming up for Gus to sniff and the cat readjusts himself so his head is closer to Johnny’s. “Hi”.
Oh but the warmth dissipating from his body is to much, that and the soft noise of Gus’ purr drives you to fall asleep again. You only half dream, a mixture of images that won’t make any sense once you’re awake again, which happens rather soon as the bed adjusts and you feel a hand run through your hair. 
“Can I make tea?” His voice sounds softer than earlier, you nod, opening your eyes just a smidge to look up at him.
“Biscuits in the cupboard…”That’s as much as you can muster now. “Wake me up when it's done?”
“Course.” 
He left with Gus following behind, but you can’t seem to fall asleep again. That was…rather intimate. Your stomach feels hot and your chest tighter. Shooting your eyes open you’re quick to grab your phone again, Farah replied an hour ago.
“Wooo! Good for you”
“You’re gonna have to tell me everything about it btw”
“Farah”
“How pathetic is it to have a crush on your one night stand?”
Oh you don’t like that, calling him a one night stand, feels too impersonal, rude almost.
You’re getting out of bed, into your restroom and to the kitchen. 
“Good morning” He leans against the kitchen counter where your meds are,he’s looking at his phone waiting for the kettle to boil, clad in his boxers from last night, hair a mess and body soft under the morning light. Even though it’s the same body it feels so different from last night, scars, bigger and small, litter his body, it’s muscular and soft at the same time, big pecs a tad too inviting and a tattoo on his forearm. Reaching for the pills would mean standing next to him, probably brushing against—no, touching him, and that makes you nervous. Oh. You’re embarrassingly down bad. 
He stayed the entire weekend, Friday through Sunday. Next week it was picnic and football. You’re convinced any major team would be jealous of your 1-person teams and 5 meter field. He’s good, but you’re full of fear as he chases you for the ball, it’s the predator-prey kinda adrenaline that makes you score. 
“Yes!” 
“Offside! Offside!”
“What do you mean offside? There’s no one I can pass the ball to!” In fact, there’s not even a goal. You grab the ball and go back to him, looking straight into his eyes in fake defiance. 
“Talking back to the referee? That’s a red card.” He looks so handsome like this, standing tall and unmovable, even if only joking, and you let him know via a quick kiss to his lips. He’s pulling you back to his lips not even half a second after, deep and slow, giggly. “Bribin’ me, huh?” You let out a soft, happy, sigh and kiss him again.
“Wanna go home?”
You tell Farah everything over a cup of tea and a piece of cake, of course. And she laughs at you, not in a mean way at all, only friendly and amused, still you hit her arm.
And the following week it’s film night. This one’s more spontaneous than the others, it’s been a tough week at work, you want a quiet evening and some company so you ask him if he wants to come hang out, he replies saying that he’ll be there in 30.
It’s the two of you, your favourite take out, Gus-Gus sitting on the back of the sofa and Fargo on the TV. He’s not paying as much attention to the film as he is to you.
“What?” You say, turning to look at him.
“Ye’r a beauty.” You smile shyly and kick him on the leg with your foot slightly. “A’m serious. I like you a lot.” A big smile grows on your face, and it’s enough confirmation for him to know you feel the same.
Or at least he thought so. There are no plans for this weekend, not for lack of trying, that is, Soap’s been trying to text you all week, it’s a big shift from your daily texting. He misses the little life updates you send him. Tuesday, he thought you might just be busy. Wednesday he stops trying to contact you, did he do something wrong? Went too fast? Are you ghosting him? What did he do that was worth the silent treatment? Thursday, he tries calling you, multiple times. Friday all rational thoughts have left his brain, did something happen to you? Are you okay? Christ, what if you’re dead? He texts Farah, swallowing his embarrassment.
“She’s okay, I think.”
“Going through a bit of a depression episode at the moment.”
“She’s going recluse, I know she wouldn’t mind a bit of help.”
“I have a spare key to her flat if you want to come get it.”
The string of texts floats around his mind, spare key in hand in front of your front door. He’s been inside before, but he was invited in, this feels invasive, but Farah trusted him, and she knew you best. He sent you a message before showing up, the last bit of chivalry he can offer before showing up in your home, it went through, and he hoped you read it even if you didn’t reply. 
He calls your name upon entering, no response. Gus comes running up to him to headbutt his legs and meow, a quick look lets him know his water bowl is clean and automatic feeder full, that’s a good sign. His voice trembles as he calls for you again. 
“You know where she is?” Great, now he’s speaking to the cat, and he meows in response, great, an actual conversation with a cat. Gus takes off and squeezes himself into a room with the door ajar, your bedroom. He knocks before entering, not expecting a response. The room is dark except for the light coming from your laptop, empty and half-full glasses taking up most of the space on your desk, chair full of unfolded clothes and a doughnut of blankets on the bed.
“Go away.” The doughnut speaks. His heart breaks at the sad, much softer than usual tone of your voice.
“Love.” The pet name slips from his lips, he notices but doesn’t attempt to correct himself. He walks closer until he’s sitting next to you. “Can I help you?” 
You shake your head no, or what’s visible of it. “Go away, I stink.” He chuckles.
“That’s fine, smell better than the lads in base.” It’s a pathetic attempt at humour, you still shake your head no.
“You don’t have to do anything.” You don’t sound sad or angry like he thought you might, it’s emotionless, almost like an automatic generated response.
“But I want to. Want tae tak’ care o ye” He wants to make everything better, wants to fix everything, wants you happy and energetic and smiling. It’s silly how much he cares for you after barely a month of knowing eachother, scary now that he’s admitting it out loud. He pulls down the blankets for a full view of your face, his hand goes to your hair, it’s tangled, he’s careful not to pull on it. “Am gunna run you a bath.” It’s not a question, you laugh slightly and he smiles, realising what he said. “Didny mean it like that, c’mon.” 
He helps you up from the bed and into the restroom. From your seat ion the toilet, you observe the way he turns on the tap and rummages through your cabinet, trying to find something to put in the water, you assume. “The orange bar in the back.” He halts, looks for a second and comes up with it, he leaves it on the sink while he turns off the water, you grab the bar and crumble a bit of it into the tub. He looks at you and gets up, you take it as your cue to undress and get in. Johnny comes back with a change of pyjamas and underwear and leaves again. You can hear him moving around and making noise, talking to the cat in occasion, while you clean yourself, when he comes back it’s to put your dirty laundry in the hamper. You don’t know why that’s the thing that makes you break and start crying. As soon as he notices, he’s on his knees next to you, softly caressing your cheeks and moving your damp hair away from your face.
“Whit’s wrong?” 
“I don’t want you to do this.” Is no reply to his question. “I don’t want you to have to do this.”
“M’eudail.” He starts. “It’s okay.”
“No it’s not!” You look up at him” I’m so sad all the fucking time and I don’t want you to have to deal with that, it’s not fair to you, you know? I don’t want you to have to take care of me or put up with me.”
“But what if I want to? Wanna take care of you, wanna put up with you.” You shake your head no, looking back down.
“Johnny, I’m so much. I get so clingy and stupid.” 
“That’s fine by me.” There’s no deterring him. He lifts your head up by your chin to kiss your forehead, bright blue eyes staring at you. 
And you realise how ridiculous this is. You’re crying in the bathtub, your friend-situationship is on his knees next to you, again, crying in the bathtub. You let out a sigh and nod.
“Okay.” 
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