#but i HAVE to get this off my chest

[wakandama2]

SHAMEEK STOP SCARING THE HOES

[maladaptivewriting]

here is my most controversial marauders opinion. please don’t cancel me

i don’t like david bowie’s music (or any music referenced in atyd) (or most music from that time period)

[preqvelle]

I never usually say anything about my personal problems, but it's been really bothering me just lately.

I just have to vent it and will most likely delete it later.

I had a friend who I thought was one of my besties who probably simped harder than a regular friend would, and countless of times I'd be like.. this is getting uncomfortable. Can you stop, stop for a week, and then it would resume. Until recently, I said you're making me uncomfortable. Can you step back. Now .... we don't talk anymore and is completely just blanking me just because I set a boundary for myself, I could go into more but I just don't understand how someone can cut a 6 year friendship off purely for the fact I said dial it back please. Or was it because you just knew you wouldn't get anything. This whole situation is draining

[ohnoohnoohnoohnoohnosblog]

AI

Okay I need somewhere to rant and vent and ramble about the shit that is Large Language Models and generative AI (which has become kind of synonymous with AI, whatever that term is supposed to mean anyway). I am so happy to see the writer's strike here on tumblr being supported and it's healing for me to see that we're not putting up with that shit.

To explain where I'm coming from: I work in academic writing at a writing centre, although my background is in historical literature. I started on a doctoral thesis about medieval religious literature but quit because I couldn't find meaning in what I was doing, it felt really far away from everyday life. Of course I had some reasons learned by heart of why it's so important: to understand today's culture, you have to understand past cultures, it helps to understand that everything is arbitrary and so on and so on, and I stand by that, but it wasn't enough for that specific research question I was working on to carry me through. So I quit, and there was this job opportunity for a 2-year project about AI in academic writing at a writing centre, because they were prophetic enough to see that this might become a thing in the future. "Wow, that's sounds pretty interesting and pretty relevant to the near future!," I thought, which was obviously quite attractive to me. I thought: I will use this 2-year project to sort myself out and see what I actually wanna do.

And for a year, it was splendid, I learned a lot about academic writing (I actually believe that the reason I scored the job was because of my knowledge of historical literature and how concepts of authorship can change and all that stuff), I spoke to people in different faculties about what might be coming (I was working with GPT-3 at the time, mostly using Jasper.ai), and everyone was like "wow, interesting, we'll deal with that when the time comes". Which was fine for me, I was learning a lot about other stuff, and also doing a lot of reading, but there was only so much I could tell people about the use of text generating AI before it was actually, you know, *in use*. Everything was hypothetical and there's only so much you can say about that. (And I'm not in a research position.) I was really just trying to figure out the most important questions, but I could only pose them, not find any answers. Anyway, that might be a topic for another rant. So I was having a kinda good time.

Sometime in September 2022 (I started in March), I was at a conference with some collegues doing a workshop on that topic, and afterwards one my colleagues said "we're one year too early". Turns out she was wrong about two months, because then ChatGPT was released. I didn't get the buzz at first (for me, it was not that much different than using Jasper before), but suddenly *everyone* was talking about it. We actually gained some media attention because obviously, since we had been working on that topic for a year already, we could deliver some insights and talk about our experience up to then. February, March, and April are a blur for me, suddenly there were so many requests and stuff to do that I was on the verge of burn out (or maybe still am, at least I don't feel good). That's okay, of course the attention was also nice, but I had to learn to say "no" to requests (wow, imagine that. no one had wanted to hear about the topic of my doctoral thesis, not even me by the point I quit lol). So that's been stressful, but it's not what's stressing me out the most.

It's the shit show that I learned that whole generative AI thing is. I got into some doomscrolling back in April, when people like Geoffrey Hinton came forward talking about existential risk, something that had been science fiction to me before. I was in a bubble, but I kid you not, I was doomscrolling as bad as when the Russian war against Ukraine started. (I am prone to doomscrolling so that's on me as well.) People talking about AGI and ASI and the singularity being near, and I was like wtf is going on. Then – for my own sanity, and I can't thank them enough for this – I started following women like Timnit Gebru and Emily Bender, and that's when I started to learn a lot more about the ideologies behind "AI" and those in Big Tech that work on it. And I am so furious. And while people are talking about "oh no, will essay assignments be obsolete in the future?" I am like, "can we please talk about the ACTUAL issues with this? how harmful this all is? that no one asked for this?"

I am not against AI in general (actually, I'm against using the term, but it's something that I have to use to for comprehensibility's sake). For medicine, there are wonderful things we could use it for. Actual solutions to actual problems. Who wanted creative writing to be taken from humans? This is consumerist dystopia: No one has to produce anymore, we can all consume. Consume what? And do what in the mean time?

"AI can help me write emails faster!" So yeah, what happens when my AI mail assistant emails you, for it to be read by your AI assistant to respond to my AI assistant? What *are* we doing in the mean time?

And those people working on AGI have answers – we'll all be living blissful lives with our transhuman brains being digitized in some kind of utopian heaven. Oh, but also, it could go terribly wrong, but whatever. Also, this is not like, conspiracy theory. You can go on OpenAI's website and look it up for yourself.

Some of this is not new. This has been discussed about automization and technology before and before. And generally, I guess, our lives have become more comfortable. And I am an optimist: I believe most people will use anything to be more creative and create more meaningful things, and maybe creating will become more accessible. This is something where my historical view also helps me, because there have been debates about any new technology of how people will become more stupid because of it, and generally it wasn't the case. But we cannot stop asking the question: what is this technology for? for whom? who profits from this? who asked for this? what kind of problem is this technology supposed to solve? or... do we just do it – because it's possible?

There's so much more, but I'll stop for now. Maybe I should just stop engaging with this so much, but it feels as though I'd be doing a bad job then, because I'm not staying up-to-date. In workshops, I try to be neutral, but of course it slips through. I never teach people "how to use AI" anyway, it's easy enough, you can do that by yourself, that's why it's a chatbot, it's not magic, you don't need me. I try to teach people to be able to make the decision of when and if they should use AI, and for what.

But if you ask me: Don't use it. Fuck this. And I haven't even touched upon how it is all theft. If people have to rely on AI to get their jobs done, because it's the only way they won't burn out – and I talked to my sister about this, who is a therapist, and said that if the AI would be able to do her job, it would be awesome, because there's not enough therapists and she has burn out herself – there's something wrong with the system. There is something deeply wrong with the system and AI is not going to fix it, it is going to make it worse.

[inkskinned]

it is hard to explain but there is something so unwell about the cultural fear of ugliness. the strange quiet irradiation of any imperfect sight. the pores and the stomachs and the legs displaced into a digital trashbin. somehow this effect spilling over - the removal of a grinning strangers in the back of a picture. of placing more-photogenic clouds into a frame. of cleaning up and arranging breakfast plates so the final image is of a table overflowing with surplus - while nobody eats, and instead mimes food moving towards their mouth like tantalus.

ever-thinner ever-more-muscled ever-prettier. your landlord's sticky white paint sprayed over every surface. girlchildren with get-ready-with-me accounts and skincare routines. beige walls and beige floors and beige toys in toddler hands. AI-generated "imagined prettier" birds and bugs and bees.

pretty! fuckable! impossible! straighten teeth. use facetune and lightroom and four other products. remove the cars along the street from the video remove the spraypaint from the garden wall remove the native plants from their home, welcome grass. welcome pretty. let the lot that walmart-still-owns lay fallow and rotting. don't touch that, it's ugly! close your eyes.

erect anti-homelessness spikes. erect anti-bird spikes. now it looks defensive, which is better than protective. put the ramp at the back of the building, you don't want to ruin the aesthetic of anything.

you are a single person in this world, and in this photo! don't let the lives of other people ruin what would otherwise be a shared moment! erase each person from in front of the tourist trap. erase your comfortable shoes and AI generate platforms. you weren't smiling perfectly, smile again. no matter if you had been genuinely enjoying a moment. you are not in a meadow with friends, you're in a catalogue of your own life! smile again! you know what, forget it.

we will just edit the right face in.

[notsolonedesert]

*Rises from my grave*

...Ithacan siblings....what if...Ctimene's instrument is the harp......

*dies again*

[pokimoko]

I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.

[weepynymph]

are people seriously not understanding that the whole point of colin's arc this season is him trying to be something he's not??

like sure the brothel scenes are a little weird and jarring but like they're meant to be??? because he's not actually that into it, he's just trying to do what all the other men his age are doing so he can fit in??

the writers aren't trying to 'turn him into anthony or simon' or make him a rake because that's what we're used to - HE'S trying to turn HIMSELF into anthony or simon or basically any of the other guys who this comes naturally to; who enjoy sleeping with lots of different people somewhat emotionlessly and don't get lonely because of it (and no judgement to that it's just not him)

he literally kisses Pen ONCE and absolutely loses his mind over it because its obviously never felt like that for him before. that moment is his 'oh so that's what that's supposed to feel like' moment and that's how he knows he's in love with her its literally so good???

i understand people feel like its rushed but honestly to me it feels perfectly in character for him to discover the solution to his loneliness he's been searching for all this time and immediately dive into it headfirst. that moment right at the end of ep4 where he asks her to marry him is the most authentic colin i think we've seen all season. he's sweet and funny and playful and passionate and impulsive - he's finally stopped trying to be someone he's not and now that he knows who he is and what he wants he's all in.

[thebrainrotsreal]

Was pondering how Mark’s rigid ass mask/lens is prob a Budget Thing (since squishy, bendy lens are pretty much a mandate for all hero animated series, like JL, BTAS, TNBA, Spider-Man, etc), and then I was slapped with a vision of Mark in a more JL/BTAS-ish style and I had to see it through. I am a genius btw.

[the-phantom-peach]

Meeting the Light Dragon ✨🐉

[tagged as spoilers!]

[whatdidtheydotomygirljinx]

Jinx just never really liked Vander that much.

One of the things that, to me, seemed like a main theme in Jinx's arc in season 1 was the contrast between her two families, and how her switch from Vander's daughter to Silco's drastically changes the way her personality takes shape.

And I hate that the fandom, and now the show, too, has reduced Silco to an unhealthy influence in Jinx's life, pushing her towards her "bad" side (being Jinx) when, for all his flaws... he gives her a better childhood than she ever had with Vander. The first three episodes of the first season, to me, when I watched them, illustrate quite clearly that Powder feels unhappy in her family life. She is the most mal-adjusted of Vander's kids. Her older brother constantly berates her, and it's quite clearly having a big effect on her self-image. She later takes up the Jinx name and persona once she feels like she has become irredeemable as a person. Her other brother never defends her. Vi is the only one who is there for her, and they care for each other, but at the same time you can see there's still a little insecurity in their relationship. Vi is worried that maybe Powder is indeed too weak, and Powder worries that maybe Vi does indeed see her as a Jinx like her brother does.

And when it comes to Vander... he's just not really all that present in her life. And I don't blame him, the man has four kids to take care of, on top of keeping things running in the Undercity. It's clearly not his intention. But it doesn't change the fact that he's not there for Powder, not as much as she needs. To me, when I watched the first season, it seemed like Vander was a figure that felt far away to Powder, someone that she admired but also feared being completely herself around, and someone that she ultimately wished to be closer to than she actually was. It's worth mentioning that Jinx never says his name post time skip, and he is not a hallucination for her, not until Vi brings him up in the finale. Hell, Claggor is somehow a hallucination for her and he never even speaks. Vander was just not an influential figure in Jinx's life.

I always found the scene at the end of ep3 of s1 fascinating, because Powder never once mourns Vander. She never once cries for him and never once says his name. When she sees his dead body, she becomes shocked and starts crying, but it's not actually what breaks her. What breaks her is Vi's rejection. Had it just been that she accidentally caused the deaths of her brothers and adoptive father, she would not have crumbled mentally. It's Vi's rejection that destroys her. Now, of course, a little girl that cares more about her sister's affection towards her than the lives of her family members is kinda messed up, but that's what makes her character interesting. And we can see that that little girl doesn't go anywhere, as Jinx displays the exact same one-mindness about her sister. Because Jinx and Powder were never really that different, after all.

She is quite clearly placed with her back to Vander's body, that she never turns to, barely looks at, only enough to recognize him and see he's dead, and never says the name of. She's turned towards Vi, calling for Vi, crying because of Vi, and no one else. Heck, Vi had just been crying over his body a few moment ago. Vi is clearly distraught over his death. Vi is devastated, she literally punches her sister and curses her in the exact worst possible way she can, in the way she know it will hurt her sister the most. But Powder... she just honestly dgaf.

So to then hear Jinx say this line in season 2...

...is just straight up jarring. I was pulled out of the story when I heard this. This is Jinx saying this to Vi. This kinda makes it seem like it was Jinx who was most attached to Vander, or at least that she was just as attached to him as Vi was. Which is just not how things seemed in the story at literally any point until this one. And then season 2 continues this way, and somehow makes Jinx seem like the closest daughter to Vander. Flipping Warwick literally acts more attached to Jinx than Vander ever did to Powder. Like literally. Season 1 clearly sets up that Vi is the favorite daughter, and then they just... flip it?? Warwick cares more for Jinx and responds better to her than to Vi. It's actually insane. It's true they sanitized Jinx's character to hell and back this season, but this is a straight-up rewrite. I can't wrap my mind around why they did this. Plus, the entirety of act 2 they set up this weird and pointless arc of Jinx rekindling her relationship with Vander or something... and like literally her story was genuinely never about that.

(This COULD have been Vi's story. And that might have actually been cool, and made sense. Maybe Vi is the one who finds him, and she is the one who helps him calm down. And then she brings Jinx, and maybe Jinx is terrified because she was never that close to Vander, and then she literally killed him, so seeing him again is the last thing she wants. Maybe VI is the one who tells Jinx that "he was your dad, too", which would make A LOT more sense, and maybe that's the first time that Jinx thinks that oh, yeah, he was... And then maybe they have a cute moment where Vander forgives her. Or maybe she sees the state he's in right now and loses it completely. Or maybe they look at each other and they both see the monster each of them has become. And then maybe Vi looks down at the enforcer uniform she's wearing, and, privately, sees it too. Idk. The things we could have had.)

Silco was actually a good dad to Jinx, in all the ways that Vander wasn't. He gives her all the attention that she never had before. He not only listens to her, but actively asks for her side of the story. He never insults her, and he defends her against Sevika. He trusts her and gives her opportunities to prove she's capable. She goes from being one of four siblings, and getting lost in the shuffle and often ending up feeling forgotten and alone, to being the most important child, always taken into consideration and almost put on a pedestal by her dad (this, like, has to have cured some inner wounds, i think).

Silco understands Jinx better than any other character in the show, and I'm genuinely sad that we didn't get to see any flashback of Jinx growing up with him. Because their relationship was so unique, and so integral to Jinx's character and to the rest of the story, that the fact that we never get to see any other glimpse into their bond is just...

As a final note, I'd also like to add that I dislike when people say that Silco "groomed" Jinx. I think a much more realistic analysis is that he enabled her. And as for all the times he tells Jinx that Vi "betrayed her", that's just a reflection of his own trauma, and also because he fears that if Jinx knew Vi was alive, she would go back to her and leave him (which, considering what goes down in the s1 finale, not an unfounded fear). It's wrong that he does that, but it's not out of malicious intent (also tbh Jinx never really seems to believe him anyway).

And for all the people who say that Silco "turned Jinx into a terrorist" (dumbest people in this fandom fr, im sorry), that's just straight up not true. Powder was already like that. That is quite literally why Silco adopts her. Because he sees that she's like him. Silco would not have taken Powder in if he thought she was just a cute, innocent kid who was orphaned (to, what, raise her for years so that, MAYBE when she's older, she MIGHT be useful to him? when they meet he doesn't know she's the one that caused the explosion, he just knows that she's been abandoned by Vi). This is the kid who thought playing around with explosives was a fun hobby. This is the kid who giggled at the thought of hurting others. This is the kid who already suffered from explosive emotions. This is the kid who saw her father and her brothers dead, because of her, and all she cared about was whether her sister was mad at her because of it. This is the kid who throws herself at the first person she sees, someone who her sister hates, who is the cause of all this destruction, and with an anger that shocks most viewers, declares that Vi is not her sister anymore. She is livid in that one moment.

Powder already had it in her from the beginning. And it's also ok to like a character (and to write one) even if they are not 100% morally pure in every single way under the sun, cause that is quite literally what stories are for.

[fineiguessimintowhump]

purposefully using fragile or flimsy materials to bind whumpee because no, no of course you're allowed to struggle, pet. What I'm doing to you is painful, it's inhumane (like you). When you flinch and pull and struggle it just shows how healthy you are - it's reflexes, instincts. But you're better than that. You know that there are rules to follow, right, pet? You know you're not allowed to break my things. I'm just setting a limit - struggle as much a you want, flinch however much you need, but if that rope breaks or if that bolt gets loose - you know what'll happen, right?

[sydneys-adamu]

I just want it known that sydney adamu is a person. a human. with human feelings which now more than ever will be annoyed. angry. frustrated. regretful. and she has every reason to be. she shouldn’t need to be defended with every argument as to why she is allowed this room for her feelings. what she is, is a human, not the obedient little girl so many people seem to think she should be. where as her white male counterparts can scream and yell and nearly tear the place apart, she can’t even be mad about it without being called ���annoying” or “ungrateful”. she may scream for the first time. she may yell. she may decide that she’s fucking over it and she may have to be convinced this is still worth her time. carmy may have to fucking convince her that HE is worth her time. she cares about him, and about every other person in that damn restaurant but that doesn’t mean she has to smile about it 24/7. I don’t want to fucking hear your stupid reasons as to why a young black woman isn’t allowed to be overwhelmed into making decisions you might not personally make. literally shut the fuck up.

[ninvic-art]

where my mind goes reading burakhovsky fanfic

[cringevalue]

there’s a knock at the door. eddie opens it. he’s covered in bruises and bite marks, lipstick smeared down his chin and mascara trailing into his hairline.

“you should see the other guy,” he says.

steve steps into the doorway then, face and neck dotted with delicate kiss stains, lips swollen and eyes glassy with love.

[tackykachowch]

How it feels to not like timebomb after s2