#anyway had to get this off my chest lol i love his arc this season and its only half done

[weepynymph]

are people seriously not understanding that the whole point of colin's arc this season is him trying to be something he's not??

like sure the brothel scenes are a little weird and jarring but like they're meant to be??? because he's not actually that into it, he's just trying to do what all the other men his age are doing so he can fit in??

the writers aren't trying to 'turn him into anthony or simon' or make him a rake because that's what we're used to - HE'S trying to turn HIMSELF into anthony or simon or basically any of the other guys who this comes naturally to; who enjoy sleeping with lots of different people somewhat emotionlessly and don't get lonely because of it (and no judgement to that it's just not him)

he literally kisses Pen ONCE and absolutely loses his mind over it because its obviously never felt like that for him before. that moment is his 'oh so that's what that's supposed to feel like' moment and that's how he knows he's in love with her its literally so good???

i understand people feel like its rushed but honestly to me it feels perfectly in character for him to discover the solution to his loneliness he's been searching for all this time and immediately dive into it headfirst. that moment right at the end of ep4 where he asks her to marry him is the most authentic colin i think we've seen all season. he's sweet and funny and playful and passionate and impulsive - he's finally stopped trying to be someone he's not and now that he knows who he is and what he wants he's all in.

[tiredthespian]

I don’t normally post negativity about things that I like because honestly it can be exhausting (and I barely post at all as-is lol), but I just need to get my thoughts about TUA off my chest after that finale…

I honestly just don’t know what to think about season 4… watching it after rewatching 1-3 was an Experience for sure. My grounding thought through my rewatch was how strong the theme of “we are better for having loved, even if it all ends” was—even throughout some of the things I didn’t like about season 3, that theme was always there. It’s always the Hargreeves family. It’s all love. So when I saw the trailer for season 4, I got really emotional because to me it seemed like finally confronting the truth and grief of Ben’s death was going to be the key to everything, but honestly having finished season 4 I feel like his story got kind of brushed over even if it was the whole cause of the apocalypse this time…. Like I feel like they didn’t really give him a proper ending even after all that, and Jennifer just felt like a plot device even though I really wanted to love her. She just felt like a generic MacGuffin.

I don’t know what ending I would have preferred, and I understand that after everything just giving all the characters what they wanted wouldn’t necessarily be any better writing than what we got, but idk SOMETHING could have been different. Ray and Sloane were just brushed over completely, and Dave and Sissy weren’t even mentioned, even though they were all such vital characters to the growth of Allison, Luther, Klaus, and Viktor, respectively. And no, I wasn’t expecting everyone to be together in the end. Part of the bittersweetness of their stories is that their time together was only temporary—that’s a facet of TUA’s storytelling. But another facet of the previous seasons is that those losses are FELT. Dave’s loss drove Klaus in season 2, Ray and Claire’s loss drove Allison in season 3, Sissy’s loss and finding Harlan again drove Viktor in season 3. So why didn’t Sloane’s completely unexplained disappearance seem to have much effect on Luther in season 4??? Why don’t we know why Ray left???

Also playing “I Think We’re Alone Now” over the final scene was so uncalled for. It could have been the perfect song for the final scene if the final scene wasn’t that. Now, a song we associate with the Hargreeves siblings being free is associated with them being gone. Free from the endless apocalypses, sure, but also literally never having existed, never having loved or been loved, which again, is the Whole Point of the show in my opinion. At least Hazel and Agnes get to still be in love ffs.

Also self-sacrificing moves that don’t feel consistent with character growth just don’t jive with me. I’m getting Magicians flashbacks.

Anyway, I’m just tired now. I was vibing with the first couple episodes even though they felt different than previous seasons, but then it all sort of fell off. I wish they’d done more with the subway and the Five diner, given the siblings stronger individual arcs, and had more of those classic TUA fight scenes to fun music.

On the bright side, I can always just rewatch seasons 1-2 lol.

[shadowed-dancer]

Thoughts on Episode 124 (S6 E11)

Reeling reveals, devilish dancing, and brutal broadcasts. Let’s talk about it

HUGE spoilers for the episode but nothing for the manga. That said, it is wild that the contents of this episode are no longer considered a spoiler

Oh boy these Dabis sure do be dancing

I am going absolutely feral this episode was so good!

However I will do my best to stay composed

I gotta start with a nitpick just to get it off my chest. Way back in episode 1 of this season, they added a frame when Twice talks about the League that showed Dabi sitting in a chair. Many people (myself included) assumed this was a reference to his video, but the chairs were different colours (ep 1 it was blue, now it is red)?! WHAT?! WHY?! I know it’s random but it just bugs me. This season has been really good with keeping little details straight and then they do something like this. Given the fact that Dabi was wearing clothes in that scene, it is now my hc that he filmed multiple versions of this and picked the one that felt the most dramatic (must have decided that shirtless with a red chair was the way to go lol)

And I need to reiterate: that is absolutely a nitpick that in no way takes away from the rest of the episode. I just found it odd that they went through the trouble of adding such a scene to episode 1, but didn't keep it consistent

Ok anyways as for the episode itself

ueah this good

Brain happy

The first, Dabi-less half is honestly wonderful, which surprised me that they put so much effort into it

Ochako and Toga both looked gorgeous, and the tension between the two was done lovely

Then the episode switched to Endeavor and like one insanely smooth shot and this episode went from a 10 to a 10 billion

However, I’ll admit it, I kind of didn’t like the rearrangement regarding the broadcast. I loved how the manga had a little hint in the Toga section of tvs losing their signal, then the chapter starts with Rei, goes to the battlefield, and then cuts back to the broadcast

The bit with Toga made it all feel connected, like it’s happening at the same time, but it’s fine that it’s gone

I’m more disappointed by the rearrangement with Rei. It gave it a bit of build up that the anime adaptation now lacks, and honestly I was a bit taken aback by how sudden the moment popped up

I mean I guess props for showing how Endeavor must have felt lol

Upon a rewatch it doesn’t bother me nearly as much, but still. It’s probably just because I’m so used to the manga at this point

That being said, the second the monologue started all my complaints totally melted away

The voice acting! The animation! The DANCING! They really made him clap and spin around and I LOVE IT

TINY BABY TOUYA

and on that note TINY BABY FUYUMI

Any and all nitpicks I made previously are now null and void because of that scene of Fuyumi with a flower and Touya clinging to Enji’s arm

Oh man I love this episode

Also! Confirmation that the Sekoto fire was red! I’m glad they kept it, because many people were pointing out that that was likely the main reason Enji didn’t suspect Dabi

Im curious to see how they handle the soccer flashback when we eventually get there (mostly regarding hair colour lol. I want to know if they are going to give an explanation why it was red, or if they’d gonna colour it white and pretend they didn’t mess up haha)

I don’t know how I felt about Best Jeanist starting and ending it. I knew it was coming because I read the manga and had a feeling they’d sandwich the episode like this, but it almost felt like it was taking away from Dabi’s big moment

Which ha! I guess he technically was!

Still, it reminds me of the upcoming arc, which I am reluctant to think about

I don’t know what else they could have done, I just wanted Dabi to have a moment I guess (and I also wanted to forget how many cliffhangers the upcoming arc has lol)

Ooooohhhh and the ed hurt. I had a feeling they’d do a young and old Touya thing, but MAN did they do it well. Everything about it. The bright yellows to the cold blues, the big smile to the scream, oh my gosh

Anyways, overall 10/10. If you think this review sounds nitpicky it’s because there’s only so many ways I can express my absolute joy, yet it takes time to explain my grievances (however slight they may be)

I’m away for family stuff this week but you can bet that if I weren’t I would be watching this episode on constant repeat

Guess that will have to wait for next week lol

[ltleflrt]

*busts into the room with an air horn in one hand and a seltzer bottle in the other*

LISTEN UP CLOWNS!  I AM HERE WITH THE 15x19 POSITIVITY.

But bucklemming-- *AIRHORN* But the stupid things-- *SPRAYS YOU WITH SELTZER* No Caaaas-- *DOUBLE BARRELS YOU*

LOOK.  BUCKLEMMING ARE BAD WRITERS, THEIR EPISODES ARE ALWAYS POORLY PACED AND FULL OF SHITTY THINGS TO FILL UP YOUR BUCKLEMMING’S BULLSHIT BINGO CARD, AND THIS WAS NO EXCEPTION.  BUT LET’S TALK ABOUT GOOD THINGS AND HYPE OURSELVES UP FOR NEXT WEEK, AWRIGHT? AWRIGHT!

I enjoyed 15x19!  It was delightfully stupid, gave me exactly what I expected from Cas’ unfinished storyline, and managed to surprise me, made me bawl, and fuck y’all the montage was fun!

I like that my sad boy Dean pulled himself up from his bootstraps and went to meet Sam and Jack in the beginning.  Because he always gets back up, even when he’s at his lowest lows.  We know he ignored Sam’s calls while he had a good cry at the end of 18, but he got back to the business of Winchester World Saving once he got enough of it out of his system to function.

It felt good to see Sam have a meltdown.  I looooove Cool And Logical!Sam who is almost always the voice of reason, but Dean ain’t the King of Repression, Sam is.  The boy shoves so much down, his fears about being tainted, his Hell/Lucifer trauma, (frustration with watching Dean and Cas dancing around each other for 11 fucking years), his grief over his tragic love life... Let him yell!  Let him shout and scream and put down the burden of hope for a few minutes!  Yes, good.  Very good, Sam.  Get it off your chest!

Dean named the dog “Miracle”.  Stahp! So soft! *clutches chest*

DEAN SPRINTING FOR THE DOOR!  HE TOOK THOSE STAIRS TWO AT A FUCKING TIME TO GET TO HIS ANGEL!

C’mon now... who didn’t enjoy seeing Lucifer get murdered one last time?  *chef’s kiss*

JAKE ABEL YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN!!  I wish I’d glomped onto this guy years ago!  What a gem!  What a good bean!!  Too bad about Michael’s failed redemption arc, but NO MORE ARCHANGELS TO FUCK AROUND WITH FATE YEAH BUDDY!!

Upon first watch, I was rolling my eyes at Jack’s power sucking ability.  Where did that come from?  It was out of nothing!  I was going to handwave it as bucklemming fuckery.  BUT THEN!  I woke up from a dead sleep at 4:44am and thought SERAFINA.  SHE SAID HE WOULD BE LIKE A SUPERNOVA AND THEN ADAM SAID HE’D BE A BLACK HOLE FOR COSMIC POWER.  AND GOD IS IN EVERYTHING.  LITTLE BLACK HOLE JACK SUCKING UP THE COSMIC POWER IN EVERYTHING.  It took me a minute Dabb&Co, but hat’s off, that was pretty fuckin’ cool.  (I marveled over this revelation for about 15 minutes and then went back to sleep lol)

Hey, remember my first point about Dean always getting back up?  Yeah, that times a thousand, because now it’s him and Sammy getting back up every time they’re knocked down.  INSPIRING.  I WANT TO BE LIKE THEM WHEN I GROW UP.

Sam holding Dean upright.  Fuck.  *sobs in brochesters*

CHUUUUUUCK!!!!  I have been pulling my hair out since 14x20 trying to guess how they’d deal with Chuck.  I am FUCKING THRILLED with his ending.  Beautiful. Fucking. Poetry. 

AND JACK. SAVED THE WORLD.  TEAM FREE WILL’S SON WAS THE ULTIMATE HERO.

And Dean taking Cas’ last words to heart?  Knowing that he’s about love, not about killing?  alkdjfaz;oeirnfa;kldfj al;sdkjf elmoonfire.gif aldfj;adlks

Jack’s goodbye.  Oh Jack.  I love you so much you funky little nephilim.  Thanks for the heartfelt tears.  You are Good and the world is so blessed to have you.  A God with a Human Soul.  Perfect.

THE NAMES ON THE TABLE!!!  CASTIEL instead of CASS because FUCK THAT EXTRA S!!!

Fuck all of you making fun of the montage, I adored it and watched it like ten times before I went to bed last night.  If that had been at the end of 20 I would have side-eyed it haaaaaard.  But it was put in the perfect place in the season.  I appreciate the nostalgia bomb, thank you very much :P

ANYWAY!  Looking forward to 20!  Got my full clown gettup on!  And the airhorn and seltzer water WILL be used on any debbie downers and negative nancies that find their way to my inbox.

I LOVE SEASON 15 SO MUCH!!!!

BONUS CLOWNING:  NOW THAT DEAN IS FREE OF GOD’S MANIPULATION, EVERYTHING HE DECIDES TO DO IN REGARDS TO CAS IS OF HIS OWN FREE WILL AND HE KNOWS IT.  HE KNOOOOWS IT! 

[im-the-punk-who]

I'm new to the fandom, but haven't gotten the chance to watch the show yet. Bit weird I know. I've been spoilered for bits and pieces and read some fanfic. Why is so much of the fandom silverflint when flinthamilton is there and so beautiful? I don't want to watch the show and become confused between the ships (lol). Thoughts?

OH BABE. WATCH THE SHOW - JOIN ME IN MY HELL HOLE.

Since you said you've been spoiled a bit, this does contain some spoilers for the show. Nothing major, but I dont think theres a way to talk about this otherwise. ❤

OKAY. I'm gonna say this as politically as possible, lmao, since there is...a healthy dose of animosity between people who ship silverflint and people who don't - mainly because the interpretations of John Silver's character are so varied.

For the record, enemies to lovers is my least favorite shipping trope, and silverflint is probably the biggest notp I've ever had. Edit: And Flinthamilton hits my absolutely favorite shipping trope, which is friends to lovers. We state our personal biases out front like REAL scientists of literature, lmao.  That said I have a bunch of mutuals who ship it and I try my darndest to uhhhh at least support them in that to the extent I'm able.

So, imo, the biggest reason silverflint is so popular is that they're the two characters with the most screentime together. Silver and Flint are on screen together in some capacity in just about every episode from the first to the last, and their plotlines and character developments are deeply intertwined. No matter what their actual relationship was, no matter if they were canon or if there were any actual romantic feelings between them, they were bound to be a big ship, especially since one of them is canonically attracted to men. Conversely, Thomas only has about 40 minutes of screentime in the entire series and it is all in flashback from before the series begins. Now of course he also has a lot of what I'll call 'off-screen callbacks' - James' entire character arc depends on his love and belief in Thomas' ideals - but he and James only interact for a very brief period of time and we really dont get a whole lot about Thomas himself.

There are reasons people ship both, and reasons people might be drawn to silverflint over flintham which all comes down to personal preference, but I really do think the biggest reason is their screentime disparity.

That said...even though Silverflint isn't canon, and Flintham IS the show's endgame, that doesnt make one more valid than the other as a ship because that's categorically not what fandom is about. I don't think there's a confusion to be had there, because there's no such thing as 'this is the right ship and this is the wrong one.' I have ships I doggedly sail that aren't canon and that for some are their notps. And I would quite literally fight to the death over them given half a chance. That's fandom!!

I will say that the reason silverflint is my notp is because I personally feel like the relationship becomes incredibly unhealthy when you put a romantic spin on it - but for some people that's the attraction! Or they don't have the same set of personal experiences I have that lead me to those conclusions! Just as a lot of people have experiences that sour them to him, John Silver is a very personal and relatable character to a lot of people. And honestly, if that's true why wouldn't they want to have him get with James Flint who is not only very beautiful but also technically perfect in every way and has never done anything wrong in his life, ever?

And that's okay! Again it's fandom! Everybody is right! You get validation! And you get validation! Everybody gets validation!!

(Lmao that's wrong - there are some people who are wrong but they're mostly wrong because they try to insist their views are the only corect ones.)

Idk what to tell you. Do I personally wish there was more flintham and less silverflint? For sure, lol. But that's because, let's be real - there was ABSOLUTELY NO WORLD where I wasn't going to be a rabid flintham shipper, and also absolutely no world in which I was going to like John Silver as a character enough to want him near my kin, my sun, my only light, my absolute unit of a child James Flint-McGraw-Hamilton any longer than absolutely necessary. I'm aware of my bias. I stand by it, but I am aware of it, lol. BUT HERE'S THE GREAT THING ANON IF YOU JOIN ME IN SHIPPER HELL WE CAN FIX THAT. BE THE CHANGE I WANT TO SEE!!

My biggest advice is that, at its heart Black Sails is a show about stories and the personal bias inherent in them. Keep your mind open, and try not to let fandom influence your personal feelings towards what you find enjoyable. (Even me. If you end up shipping silverflint, I promise I will try very hard not to take offense lmao). Oh, and don't expect a happy ending for anyone. Black Sails is a tragedy, and in true tragedy form there are no happy endings for anyone except the british empire.

For the most part this is a great fandom and Black Sails itself is a show that I think everyone should watch - even if they aren't in it for the ships. While I have some major problems with it(particularly its treatment of its female characters) it's also hands down the best show I've ever seen in a lot of ways. It is full of not just the most pure and perfect mlm ship in Flintham but ALSO some great canon wlw ships, a dumb himbo who ruins everything, lots of POC - specifically a large number of really excellently portrayed black characters - and just...absolutely phenomenal writing. And it says gay rights with its fucking chest. And it contains the most heartbreakingly real portrayal of why revolutions fail and whose stories get told that like. I've ever, ever seen. I still cry when I think too hard about it please don't look at me.

ANYWAY LONG STORY SHORT WATCH BLACK SAILS. (James&Thomas 4eva)

(And, to that end uhhhh, here's some timestamps for violence against women in the first season. I've been meaning to add on for the other seasons but just haven't had time.)

[vaguely-concerned]

the mandalorian episode 7 reactions

spoilers under the cut!

- during my rewatches I have been thinking ‘damn baby yoda has witnessed A Lot of murders/seen his dad get hurt even more’ and found it strange it hasn’t affected him more and little did I know they were saving it all to fucking stab me in the heart with one barbed wire-wrapped zweihander. the scared way he shakes his little green head while mando tries to reassure him fjskdfhaksd T___________T 

cara tho of all people. okay this is kind of a crazy idea but bear with me: what if baby yoda picks up a lot on mando’s feelings (in a wordless baby-with-a-Force-connection sort of way -- almost a metaphoric heightening of how babies actually attune to their caretakers in real life), and normally mando is a bit detached/dissociated around others but he’s starting to warm up to and trust cara and it’s bringing him a bit more online and the baby reads that engagement/excitement as danger because that’s the only thing he has to compare it to? like they’re clearly actually having fun but the baby wouldn’t know that because uh mando has never just had fun around him before and to the baby adrenaline seems like adrenaline no matter the source. that might be completely off base but it was what dropped into my brain right away so *shrug*

I’m so grateful mando doesn’t get mad at bb even when he gets scared like that though. it’s good for my soul. 

- cara and mando being bros is Life, is Love 

- but most of all CARA!!! I love her!!! and the effortless way mando put down his trump card.... “sorry got stuff to do people to beat up no can do my helmeted friend” “’kay. by the way we’re going Imp hunting” “:D:D:D when do we leave”

- KUIIL Y_____________Y actually I refuse (REFUSE) to accept it until someone finds his body and confirms he’s actually dead, I believe denial is my prerogative it’s almost christmas for goodness’ sake  

- when cara, greef karga and mando are about to leave for the town I actually SCREAMED at the screen “MANDO REASSURE YOUR CHILD AND TELL HIM EVERYTHING’S GOING TO BE OKAY BEFORE YOU LEAVE HE NEEDS SOME SAFETY” and then he didn’t and then I cried 

- pedro pascal did some Things with his voice in this one and it was mean and unfair and uncalled for and awful. the honest hurt and fear in his voice when he says “It tried to kill him”? END ME

- mando straight up doesn’t seem to know anything about the Force at all, or at least not in a way that lets him connect it to the baby. maybe he vaguely knows jedi were a thing but not quite what they actually were. I like that, an interesting showcase of the different perspectives through the galaxy. (maybe finding someone to help out with this is going to be the story arc for next season?

- I actually think this is the first episode where they’ve tried to cover too much in too little time and had to drop the emotional consistency as a consequence. it’s understandable since they need to get all the pieces set up right for the finale, but it didn’t quite work for me (by which I mean for the love of god I needed just one scene, however short, of mando and baby yoda connecting properly with nothing else going on to help me through the stress/reaffirm the bond so it’s unbearably fresh in your mind what this is all for. yes that’s right I wanted them to hurt me more that’s how I roll)

the stuff Kuiil was doing there with his droid story also felt slightly disjointed? out of tune with the rest of the episode? I like him very much and I think I see what they were going for but it felt a little off? mando gently being faced with the fact that droids are naturally neutral and that it’s people who decide what to make them/teach them (yessss go off kuiil!) deserves more space to breathe, this is definitely my least favourite episode so far  

- lol @ the empire dude. ‘yeah okay but apart from all the genocide what did we even do to anyone tho???’ in the end he seemed to earnestly admire mandalorian culture in an almost fanboyish way, which doesn’t really surprise me; there must be some decent overlap between people who believed in the empire and people who think the mandalorian tendency towards militarism and (periodic) expansionism is Cool. (which is why I traditionally haven’t cared much for them, incidentally, they’ve always sort of bored me as a warrior culture before this series added some mystical/more overtly religious overtones to the whole thing)

also loved how mando gave him  n o t h i n g  at all to work with and cara’s ‘who the hell is this guy??’ to the new bad guy lol

- mando averting the fight between kuiil and cara just by being soft and asking for help/reminding them of the kid ;___; I love him he knows how to deescalate a situation when he wants to 

also the parallell between baby yoda protecting mando and the droid hovering ready to protect kuiil... right in the feels man. also kuiils air of dignity and experience is so effective. pls be my gruff no-nonsense grandpa who helps me with my computer kuiil

if kuiil is actually dead (which I continue to REFUSE but if) I get the feeling that mando is going to have to Reevaluate some things basically out of respect to his memory, since the way he describes putting this droid back together is framed so heavily as parenthood and surely there must be some empathy for that at least behind that beskar chest plate at this point

I have been thinking that adding a droid to mando’s little uh ‘crew’ would be thematically appropriate so maybe that’s what going on? kuiil said he could reprogram it for childcare, perhaps we’ve found the babysitter we’ve been begging for

- the one-sided vendetta between mando and the very soft spoken, very conscientious, very polite droid is hilarious. mostly because it thus far has manifested mainly in mando presumably glaring behind the helmet and being slightly snippy in saying he won’t come down for dinner like a fucking teenage boy in a sulk fjskdafhsd (I am slightly forgiving of him because droids pointing guns at the kid must be trigger central for him and I can sympathize, it’d take some time to change)

- some other high points of hilarity: three blurrgs and four people in mando’s tiny rustbucket of a ship. “It’s trying to eat me!”. the fact that greef karga was ABSOLUTELY planning to double cross them from the beginning and admitting it openly, he ain’t ashamed (the ‘mando get better friends’ campaign continues). mando describing the spectacular firefight at the end of ep 3 as ‘a bit of a run-in’. baby cackling as he finally gets a turn behind the steering stick of the razor crest. the mysterious multiplying four storm troopers (‘you said four fucking storm troopers karga!!!!’) phenomena. “well there are more. what can I tell you”. mando, with perfect disdain: “on your wall”. the panicked force choke was upsetting but the fact that ‘we do not strangle our friends’ was the Mando Parenting Lesson of the day is undeniably kind of funny.  

- anyway I am here and ready to pass out from stress waiting for mando to lose his entire shit and go on a roaring rampage of rescue to save his kid in the next episode (I swear to GOD disney there better not be any between-season cliffhangers about this or I will fucking riot/possibly just die)

ETA: I FORGOT TO MENTION: credit where it’s due the flamethrower did pull it’s weight in this one, I still think he should invest in something more reliable but it did the trick this time and fair is fair

[thevioletjones]

Do you also think this is the worst season for gallavich ever? I think I even like the mexico border season better lol, the couple seems so out of chemistry this time around, and every cute moment feels like fan service, it doesn't feel genuine for the characthers like it used to... Idk is it just me?

I don't think it's just you at all, but I think for most fans there is a tendency in these types of scenarios (where we've been fucked over so much and deprived of the characters for so long) to try and accentuate the positive, because any new content is (arguably) a good thing. So the people who want the positive to outweigh the negative are more vocal and the most unhinged grumbling goes on in private messages.

I honestly can't tell you what the worst season for the pairing is. There's always been something (or a few things) every season that holds them back, whether it was actual good drama or not, the lack of screen time was always a factor. Long periods of either Noel or Cam missing. Etc. But there was some consistency in characterization up until the dreaded ep 512. The pivotal episode not only for gallavich, but Shameless as a whole. It became nearly unwatchable after that, because no character was in a satisfying place in their development, and the storylines (of which there had previously been some bad ones) got increasingly horrible.

To be fair, I did stop watching in early s6. I just had no interest anymore, and not even the actors still doing a good job could hook me into anything happening. I read synopses and skimmed reviews when the show was airing, but that's it.

I hated the writing for IxM in s7 too. Small tweaks could've made their whole Mexico storyline alright, but that was where we could plainly see that they were really sticking to their guns in the way they regressed Mickey as shown in that shitty prison visit in 601 (there was even a deleted scene with Mickey about to bang a rando in jail after he got back to his cell when Ian left, lol). They said fuck that character plain as day when they showed that insultingly crude and misspelled 'Ian Galager' tattoo on Mickey's chest festering with infection and Ian saying he had to be paid to see him.

Anyway, is this the worst written season that they're actually featured in? Maybe. I literally haven't even seen 1 single ep from s8. Who is she? Lol, but my larger point is that this fandom was built on a relationship that always had flawed writing, unfair editing, and minimized screen time. Both IxM always somehow got the short end of the stick. We rallied around them because situationally, their falling in love was so compelling and unique and easy to root for. Two adolescent boys trying to figure out how to be gay, and have sex, and be in a relationship, and genuinely care for someone else despite all odds, in a toxic environment meant to thwart them fully realizing who they were and living freely? You can't resist that. That's a classic underdog story, with the added bonus of the "bad guy with a heart of gold falling for the persistent 'one and only' sunshine boy who somehow just gets them" dynamic thrown in.

Up through 511, both Ian and Mickey had satisfying character arcs, with the most compelling and drastic being Mickey's obviously. Had the final scene in 512 on the porch and after played out the way it seemed to be pointing before the 180 of IxM breaking up, that could've been a great ending for their entire storyline together. Love is declared, they get an apartment together, say no more. But now they have to go and try to undo literal years of having Mickey off screen (and Ian doing really stupid shit and having boring relationships with no chemistry) within the span of like what... 8 or 9 episodes with between 8-12 minutes of screentime total for both characters??? Mayyyybe good writers could bring the magic back and turn it all around in that amount of time, but as we can see from what we've gotten so far, it's the hackiest most uninventive writing room working in cable television.

If Cam and Noel's chemistry feels stilted, I think it's because of what they're being forced to portray on screen. They're doing what they can with what they're dictated by the script. Had they written s10 differently, we could be singing a completely different tune right now.

So, they clearly can't accomplish any truly dramatic beats anymore, and the comedy is just not funny anymore. So what's that leave us with? A show that's awkwardly painful to watch. Even when you're literally only picking and choosing to watch the scenes your fave characters are in.

I don't know what else to say about it. Lol. I think we all get it.

[ghostbustermelanieking]

praescitum chapter one (of twenty)

casefile, season 10, season 11: post my struggle i and founder’s mutation.  part of my series that i write as i rewatch the x files.

Summary: As Mulder and Scully adjust to their reassignment to the X-Files and working together in the wake of their separation, they find themselves investigating a small town and a ghost that apparently warns people of bad things to come.

note: so this is the extraordinarily long casefile i’ve been working on since june or july. i have 10-ish chapters written, and it’s already broken 50,000 words, and counting. i have 20 chapters planned, divided up into four parts, and i’m going to try to keep up with a schedule of posting twice a week, if possible. 

this story is intended to span the entirety of seasons 10 and 11, and chronicle the arc of mulder and scully’s reconciliation. (most of the reason it’s so freaking long.) i’ve more or less taken some liberties with the timeline of these seasons because it’s honestly a mess anyway lol. any errors are a result of this.

this casefile is fairly unviolent in my opinion, but warning for mentions of violence and brief mentions of suicide. (largely in the context of founder’s mutation in this chapter.)

thanks to @i-gaze-at-scully for reading over the outline for this story forever ago. i am indebted to your suggestions and your reassurances that this idea wasn’t off the wall crazy.

---

PART ONE

one.

May 20, 2002

Willoughby Daily Press; Willoughby, Virginia

MARRIED COUPLE FOUND DEAD IN APARTMENT BUILDING OFF OF CHURCH STREET

Last night, responding to a 9-1-1 call from a house on the corner of Church Street and Humphrey Avenue, police found Ian Caruthers (34) and Marion Caruthers (32) reportedly stabbed to death in the hall outside their apartment in the Willoughby Woods Apartment Building.

The Caruthers’s infant son was apparently found unharmed in his crib inside, and has since been released to family.

Neighbors say that the couple was spending time with Ian's brother, Jared Caruthers (27), the night of the attack. There was no sign of Jared at the scene, although it is believed that he made the 9-1-1 call. He is currently missing. A second 9-1-1 call was placed when the Caruthers's neighbor returned home and ran into the brother in the hall, who was reportedly covered in blood.

The Willoughby Police Department is currently searching for Jared Caruthers. WPD declined to comment on whether or not Jared being considered a suspect.

Anyone with information on Jared Caruthers's whereabouts should contact the Willoughby Police Department immediately.

---

Reports of appearances by the Willoughby Specter have come sporadically since its famous appearance in the eighteenth century. Some of the more famous sightings include local farmer George Brown seeing the Specter just before the highly public destruction of his harvest in 1834, or World War I soldier and Willoughby native John McNeeley reporting a sighting prior to the loss of his arm in France—albeit miles from the usual site of sightings. But however, wherever, or whenever the sightings occur, one thing remains clear: the Willoughby Specter is a warning, a harbinger of misfortune. And anyone who sees him is likely to experience such misfortune, in whatever form it may come.

— Excerpt from Folklore of Rural Virginia, written by Tabitha Cooper

---

october, 2015

Sheriff Joe O'Connell has never been a superstitious man.

He's heard the story of the Willoughby Specter a million times throughout his life, but aside from a strange string of uncertainty-striking events in 2002 when he was just a deputy at the Willoughby Police Department, he hasn't believed in the spirit since the second grade. He's had no reason to. The legend remains a believed part of Willoughby's history, but few people actually believe in the ghost anymore, and most of the people who do are under the age of ten. The best example is Joe's son, Robbie, who is six and has preached his belief in the Willoughby Specter since he first heard the story at age four, but he's a kid, and Joe is sure that he'll shed the belief when he grows up.

Or at least he's sure until he finds the family dog missing one morning. The back door is hanging open when Joe goes downstairs, teeth chattering with the October chill, and the dog, Bear, isn't where he usually sleeps in the living room. He searches the house, jogs around the neighborhood in the chilly morning air calling the dog's name, but there is no sign of Bear anywhere.

Robbie is devastated, bursting into tears when he finds out and clinging to his mother. Joe feels a pang of sympathy for his son, tousles his hair and promises that the dog will turn up eventually. He's planning to dispatch a deputy to search for the dog if things aren't busy (which they never are, their town is too small for much crime to occur outside of minor disturbances and petty neighbor squabbles), but at the moment, he's stuck on how the hell Bear actually got out. None of them are sleepwalkers, and his wife swears that she closed and locked the doors last night before she went to bed. There are no signs of anyone breaking in, no signs that anyone took the dog on purpose, so either someone inside the house made a mistake… or someone from outside let the dog out.

Robbie gets off the bus the police station that afternoon, the way he always does, his eyes red and his sweater rumpled. He climbs up onto Joe's lap and sits there for a while, sniffling and refusing Joe's offers of an afternoon snack. Joe tousles his hair absently as he talks on the phone. He's been calling around the town to see if anyone's seen the dog to no luck. He's sent his best deputy, Kenny Jacobs (his best friend for years and practically an uncle to Robbie), out to drive around and look for the dog, but he hasn't heard anything from him.

When he hangs up the phone, Robbie tugs at his shirt in an impatient sort of way. “Daddy?” he mumbles, rubbing his face against the pocket of Joe's jacket.

“What's up, bud?” asks Joe, rubbing his back. “Do you want me to call Mom to come get you?”

“I knew that Bear was going to run away.”

Joe blinks in unabashed surprise. “What?” he asks, startled. Robbie nods, his lip jutting out, looking like he has just confessed to murder.

The door to Joe's office opens as Kenny enters. “Hi, Uncle Kenny,�� Robbie says, instantly distracted, wiping his nose and waving at him.

“Hi, Rob.” Kenny sits in front of the desk, giving Joe an apologetic look. “No luck, Joe. Sorry.”

“We'll talk about that in a minute, Ken. Son, look at me for a second.” He puts a finger under Robbie's chin, tipping his head towards him until the boy is looking him in the eye. “Did you let Bear out, Robert?” he asks carefully, a little sternly.

Robbie shakes his head furiously. “No, Daddy, I wouldn't do that! I love Bear!”

“But you said that you knew Bear was going to run away,” Joe says with confusion. “How did you know that? Did someone tell you that?”

Robbie looks a little nervous; he looks between Joe and Kenny, scans the room quickly like he's checking for something, and motions Kenny closer, who leans across the desk. He says to the two men in a low, confidential whisper, the words slurring through the gap in his front teeth, “Cause I saw the Willoughby ‘pecter last night.”

Dumbfounded, Joe says nothing for a few beats. “What?” Kenny says incredulously, and Joe is suddenly reminded that Kenny is a superstitious man. (He's never forgotten about what happened in 2002. He brings it up once or twice a year, whenever the Specter spectacle inevitably comes up again.)

“Uh-huh,” says Robbie proudly. “Just like in the stories! He was a glow-y guy with a creepy beard and a black cloak and an old hat, and he looked reallllllllly old-fashioned. And I was really scared, but then I remembered that everybody likes the ghost! Well, everybody except Ryan.” His face twists up thoughtfully.

(Ryan is their former babysitter, hired by Joe's wife, Bonnie and fired by Joe himself, and Joe is suddenly reminded of why he dislikes that kid so much. Filling his boy's head with nonsense.)

“When did you see him?” Kenny asks, completely serious.

“Last night. I didn't know why until Bear was gone. But the ghost warned me! He came ‘cause of Bear!”

“Robbie, buddy,” Joe says slowly. “Did Ryan tell you scary stories the last time he came over?” It was less than a week ago, and that entire encounter did not go well, ended in an argument with Ryan and an argument with Bonnie and general awkwardness all around.

Robbie shakes his head. “I bet the ghost is going to tell me where Bear is! What do you think, Daddy? Uncle Kenny? Do you think the ghost's come again, Uncle Kenny?”

Kenny's mouth gapes open, like he doesn't know what to say. Joe holds up his hand to halt the conversation. “Son, I think I'm going to take you on home. I'll drive around and look for Bear on my way back, okay?”

“Okay.” Robbie rubs at his eyes and jumps off of Joe's lap, slapping Kenny's hand in their routine high five. “Maybe you'll see the ghost, Daddy,” he suggests.

Joe pats his son's head indulgently. “Go wait outside, bud.” Robbie nods and goes running, the door slamming behind him.

Joe grabs his keys and hangs it around his thumb. “Can you hold down the fort, Kenny?”

“Sure, boss.” Kenny is standing, too, arms crossed over his chest. “Do you… think there's something to what he's saying? Robbie?”

Joe shakes his head, jaw set.

“Cause if it's true, then that'd be the first time in thirteen years. Except for… you know…”

“I seriously doubt it, Kenny.” Joe starts towards the door, swinging his keys absently from his thumb, more than ready to let the subject of the Willoughby Specter go. (Not likely, with Robbie, but he can sure try. Maybe some ice cream on the way home will help.)

“Cause… if it was… you remember that unit of the FBI?” Kenny asks, rubbing thoughtfully at his beard. “Those agents who came and investigated?”

“I heard that unit was closed down years ago.” Joe opens the door and turns back. “It's nothing, Kenny,” he says. “Robbie’s imagining things. Don't let your imagination run away with you.”

And then he leaves, letting the door slam too hard behind him.

---

Of all the unexpected things that have happened in Scully's life, this goes up pretty high on the list, if not at the top. She never expected to be reassigned to the X-Files, especially not after years of being on the run with a federal fugitive, and over a decade spent out of the FBI completely. She thought she was done with all of that when she left DC in 2002, thought it was over again in 2008 when they worked the Monica Bannan case. She certainly didn't think she'd be entering the X-Files again with Mulder after their separation. She's been genuinely taken aback by all of this, Tad O’Malley and Sveta and Mulder's renewed obsession, insisting that this is important. Her own insistence that they needed to protect Sveta, to stop the people who have been doing this to innocent civilians for years. It's all happened so fast that her head is spinning. She never expected to be working with Mulder again.

She has to meet with several people to be recertified, make sure she fits the Bureau’s new qualifications. It takes the better part of a day, exhausting and working her way under her skin, but she aces every requirement. Every bullet she fires hits the target; she fires out out of pure muscle memory, she doesn't have to remind herself how. She'd forgetten the feel of a gun in her hand, the click of the trigger and the smell of gunpowder; it's stunningly satisfying, achingly familiar. She never really thought she'd want this part of herself again.

When Scully gets out of her meetings, she finds an unread text from Mulder. He's already been here a couple days; he got recertified a few days ago while Scully was clearing up her leave of absence at the hospital. (She had no idea how long she'd be at the FBI when she asked for leave, whether it'd be a few months or a few years; she honestly isn't sure what to hope for.) Mulder had called her the night before, grim and solemn, to inform her of Sveta's death, and Scully had been filled with a weary anger that she hasn't quite felt in years. Thinking of that girl's fear underneath her smugness; she can relate to what Sveta has been through, even if Sveta hadn't thought so, and she knows Sveta didn't deserve to die. To be murdered. Another innocent woman fallen victim to these men's evil.

Now, Mulder has texted her telling her that he's at the office for the day and he's just gotten a case offer. He offers to discuss it on the phone with her, or discuss it tomorrow at the office. The message exudes politeness, a courtesy that the earliest days often lacked, and it makes her want to smile. He's been so gentle with her since she agreed to come back; cautious, as if he's afraid he'll scare her away. He went from inviting her along to meet Tad O'Malley to not inviting her along to his stupid little conspiracy rendezvous to agreeing to work with her again. Navigating this new stage of their relationship—living apart for two years, in a perpetual state of separation and resentment and fear and affection—is strange, and Scully barely knows how to do it. The most they'd talked before this Tad O'Malley mess was the phone call on Mulder's birthday a couple weeks ago that inexplicably lasted nearly an hour.

Instead of responding to Mulder’s text, Scully slides her phone into her pocket. Goes into the elevator and hits the button for the basement. She feels twenty-eight again, stupidly young and nervous. She hasn't been down to his office in years, and the last time she was there, it belonged to someone else. This feels like a strange new beginning.

The door is half ajar when she reaches it, no nameplates on the door. She can see Mulder inside, sitting at a haphazardly-placed desk with a pile of files and what looks like a phone system sticking out from underneath it. He's distracted, flipping through a file. The rest of the office looks like a mess, papers scattered all over the place, pencils hanging from the ceiling. She smiles a little before catching herself, taps on the door jamb before entering. Holds back the urge to make a crack about the FBI's most unwanted.

Mulder looks up, and a smile spreads over his face that makes her heart flutter a little like she really is twenty-eight again. “Scully, hey,” he says, knocking over a flurry of files in his attempts to stand. “I didn't know you were here.”

“I had to get recertified,” she says, standing awkwardly in the doorway like an unwelcome guest. “I just now saw your message.”

Mulder nods, a little awkwardly, and motions to the half-finished office. “We're a little bit of a work in progress here,” he says. “I haven't cleaned up in here much, and, uh… they've only delivered one desk, and no computer yet.” He motions to said desk. “I'm gonna call up for another one. Another… desk, that is. For you.”

Scully smiles smally again, and this time it is completely involuntary. After all this time. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't touched, just a little. “Thank you,” she says quietly, and he nods, watching her carefully. So much has changed; it's been almost twenty-three years since she first walked into this office.

Scully's eyes scan the office briefly before they land on a familiar image, crumpled and peering over the top of the trash can. “What happened to the poster?” she asks, astonished. That poster, although not the original copy, has been in their office forever; it even made it through the years without Mulder, Doggett and Reyes dutifully leaving it up.  

Mulder follows her line of sight before he realizes what she is referring to and laughing a little sheepishly. “Oh, uh… a little unbridled rage. The poster was a victim.” He pulls it out of the trash only for Scully to see that it's been ripped in half.

“That's a shame,” she says lightly, pretending that statement (unbridled rage) doesn't worry her. “I've always liked that poster.”

Mulder nods grimly, letting the top half of the poster fall back into the trash again. “Me, too.”

They stand in silence for a few seconds before Scully speaks up. “You said you've got a case? Already?”

“Oh, right.” Mulder rummages in his pile of files for a moment before coming up with one and holding it out. “Do you remember the case in Willoughby, Virginia?”

She blinks in surprise. “Should I?”

“I don't know. It was after my time.” He passes her the file, tapping the top of it with his index finger. “May, 2002. Agents Doggett and Reyes signed off on it. I didn't know if they ever talked to you about it, or…”

“Oh.” She doesn't want to mention that May was the setting of the aftermath of her decision to give up William. She hadn't worked many cases then out, of an attempt at self preservation, and John and Monica hadn't asked often. But either way, she doesn't remember Willoughby. “No, I don't remember if either of them mentioned it to me. It was thirteen years ago.”

“Right.” Mulder clears his throat uncomfortably, looks away. “Well, I've been looking over the file since I got this call, trying to get a full understanding of the original case.”

“The case you got a call about today is in Willoughby?” She's admittedly never heard of Willoughby, on the X-Files or otherwise.

“Yeah, looks like some kind of recurrence of the case that popped up in 2002,” says Mulder. Scully flips open the top and sees that it's classified under Hauntings. “The alleged perpetrator is a ghost, a local legend that seemingly warns townsfolk of future misfortune to come. A sort of premonition. Doggett and Reyes's report is a little hard to follow, but it looks like they were called in to investigate a string of hauntings and an apparent suicide that may have occurred as a result.”

Scully flips the file closed, lets it fall on the desk. “So why have they called you now? Is it related to the same suicide?”

“The suicide didn't come up, but the ghost did.” Mulder drums his fingers on the table, a nervous habit she instinctively recognizes. “Apparently a deputy at the local police department—one Kenneth Jacobs—called in response to a missing dog.”

Scully laughs. She can't help it. “A missing dog? That cannot possibly fall under the Bureau's jurisdiction, Mulder.”

“It may not fall under the Bureau's jurisdiction, but it does fall under the X-Files's,” Mulder says sheepishly. When she shoots him a look, he clarifies: “The dog belongs to the local sheriff. His six-year-old son apparently saw the Willoughby Specter the night before the dog disappeared.”

“The Willoughby Specter? Mulder, you can't be serious,” she says. “This is the big, triumphant return you want to make to the X-Files after thirteen years—no, fifteen years for you… After all this time away, this is the case you want to take? A missing dog and local lore? A ghost with a name like the Willoughby Specter?”

“Don't tell me you don't believe the legend, Scully,” Mulder says, pushing his pen around the table. She can't tell if he's teasing or not.

“I don't,” she says matter-of-factly, “but that's hardly the point. It'd be different if a human life was in danger, but this is a dog. It's a ridiculous case!”

“The X-Files investigates the unexplainable, the paranormal. What would you classify this as?”

“A waste of time,” she says bluntly.

Mulder doesn't respond to that. He's looking at his desk, rummaging through like he's looking for something, and Scully begins to wonder if she's being too harsh. She adds gently, “Besides, Skinner will never sign off on it. You know that. He’ll agree with me on the jurisdiction.”

“Might as well find out, right?” Mulder looks up at her, raising his eyebrows playfully, and he doesn't look upset. He looks better than he has in months, just for one brief instant. “I've got a meeting set up with Skinner in the morning. Now that you're recertified, we can just ask Skinner if the case is worth looking into. If he believes—as I do—that a simple case is the best avenue to help us adjust to being back in the field, then we'll take it. If not, we'll look for another case that's less of a waste of time. Sound good to you?”

“Sure,” she says, and just barely manages not to roll her eyes. Mulder smiles.

Scully's stomach rumbles, reminding her of how late it is; she checks her phone for the time and sees that it is after 5:00. “It's a little later than I expected,” she says, “and I'm starved. I'm headed out for the night. Are you coming?”

Mulder seems to hesitate, looking down at the files again. “Mulder,” Scully adds, gently prodding. “It's past five. You're not going to stay late and work, are you? You shouldn't overexert yourself.”

Mulder looks back up at her, and she can't read his look, can't tell if he's neutral or resentful of her for trying so hard to take care of him when she's the one who left. She doesn't dare ask. “Lost track of time,” he says, reaching for his laptop bag, and she resists a sigh of relief. “I should head home; those country roads are awful at night, remember?”

She remembers. She offers him a small, slightly tense smile before turning and leaving, him on her heels. The two of them walk down the familiarly cramped hall together until they reach the elevator; Mulder presses the button for the parking garage and she mumbles a quick thank you. The elevator begins to rise.

The quiet is near stifling, so Scully makes a grab at conversation. “What did you say that ghost of yours does, Mulder?” she asks.

Mulder perks up, just a little; he has always loved to tell a good story. “I need to do more research, but best I can tell is that it warns people of bad stuff in their future,” he says. “It appears before a death or an accident or a…”

“Runaway dog?” Scully offers, and he chuckles. “You don't really believe in that, do you?”

Mulder shrugs. “I've got no reason not to. We've run into some ghosts in our heyday, remember? The haunted house on Christmas Eve?”

“Oh, god, don't bring that one up,” Scully groans as the elevator reaches their floor. Mulder laughs again, quietly. They step out of the elevator together, shoulder to shoulder like the old days, nearly in sync.

“It's strange to be back, isn't it?” Mulder asks over the echoing of their shoes on their pavement. “To be doing this again, after all this time.”

“It is,” she agrees wistfully. She reaches her car and stops, and it takes Mulder a few more paces to realize she isn't with him. He turns around in confusion.

Keys already out, Scully motions to her car awkwardly. “I'm parked here,” she says. There's still traces of the message Mulder scrawled to her on her back windshield: Don't give up. The same thing he'd told her after Monica Bannan, the first time she almost left him. That feels like an eternity ago.

“Oh.” Mulder hovers awkwardly in one place, like he's considering whether to step forward and kiss her cheek goodbye (which is how he'd said goodbye in their last parking garage meeting) or shake her hand like a stranger. He seems to decide not to move at all, lifts his hand in a sad little wave and says, “See you tomorrow, Scully.” And then he turns around and heads down the row of cars, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his shoulders hunched up. He misses her.

“See you tomorrow,” she calls after him, and is surprised to find she's glad that's true. She's missed him, she misses him.

As soon as she gets home, she logs onto Amazon to buy the office a new poster.

---

She really is sort of expecting Skinner to just sign off on the case—because truthfully, Mulder is right about the simple case being an easier adjustment, as much as she wants a challenge, something to occupy her mind—but the next morning, before their meeting with Skinner, they're being called out to Nugenics to investigate the suicide of one Dr. Sanjay.

Mulder seems to think there's more to this case than just a suicide—which is why he snatched the case up—which Scully is inclined to agree with, based off of the Department of Defense blocking their efforts at the crime scene. (A small part of her can't help but think, Here we go again. Plunging into conspiracies, pissing off government agencies, tumbling right into trouble.) She finds something written on the victim's palm: Founder's Mutation, in reference to Dr. Goldman (also known as the Founder), someone who Sanjay worked for and who Mulder wanted to interview in conjunction to Sanjay's death. They end up searching Sanjay's apartment by the end of the day, finding a wall full of photographs of kids who could be classified as experiments. Sanjay, Mulder tells her, fears that these children were dying.

Scully looks at the photos and thinks, with a pang, of her own children and the experiments they had seemingly been. Emily, who was dying, and William, who she's always been afraid would never be able to escape the intentions of the people who wanted him born. With her past, it's hard not to think about them in this situation.

But she has no time to linger on that, because the police are entering the apartment and Mulder is falling to his knees, his hands flying up to his head in pain. Panic rises up in her throat like bile, memories of his half-frozen form in the snow, of his frightening headaches that lead to a fucking brain disease flooding her mind. She falls to her knees beside him, but the chaos of the whole situation takes over. Her worry for Mulder—her panic at seeing him in distress, unable to talk to her or explain what is wrong—has to be pushed aside in order to explain things to the police.

Her explanation takes a good ten minutes, most of which she spends casting nervous looks at the room she left Mulder in, but once they are good and convinced that Mulder and Scully do, in fact, have a right to be there (which they don't, but Scully isn't going to linger on that), she nearly rushes back into the room to find Mulder, her heart thudding hard in worry that he'll be badly hurt.

But Mulder seems to be fine, by all definitions; he's rummaging through Sanjay's desk, pulling out files from drawers like he wasn't in pain at all. He looks slightly exhausted, maybe a little off-balance, but otherwise fine. “Are you okay, Mulder?” she whispers in confusion, going to his side, raising her hand to touch his head and then lowering it.

He nods, teeth clenched in his familiar headache habit, forehead furrowed. “I'm fine. Help me get these files, Scully,” he says, his voice slightly pained but hard with determination.

She reaches out to touch his arm, gently, and he motions to the files again. Scully can't tell if it's because he's become hyper focused on the investigation, the way he did all those years ago, or because he has no interest in comfort from her. She sighs and proceeds to help him gather up the files.  “What are these?” she whispers. “Are they in relation to those pictures out there?”

Mulder nods distractedly. “I took a quick look at one, and it looks like the kids Sanjay worked with had serious genetic abnormalities. If Sanjay believed they were dying, this could go a long way to explaining why he committed suicide.” He chews his lower lip, gathering up files and gathering them together with a ball of loose rubber bands retrieved from the desk drawer. “And if I had to guess, Scully, I'd say the DOD is involved. I'd say these children are likely experiments.”

Scully nods a little, wearily. She thinks it's bitterly ironic that her first case back would involve experimented-on children, considering everything. “So these files…”

“We need to get them back to the Bureau,” says Mulder, “and make copies before the DOD takes them back.” He gathers up the files against his chest and turns towards the door, wincing a little as he goes.

“Are you sure you're okay, Mulder?” Scully whispers. There are still police outside; she lifts the side of Mulder's suit jacket to partially hide the files, falling into step beside him. “You seemed like you were in a lot of pain.”

He waves it off absently. “I'm fine, Scully. Seriously. Let's just go back to the office.”

She's guessing it's going to be another long night. She flashes her badge to the police officers again as they walk to their car, and climbs in the driver's seat. Mulder is rubbing his temples as he gets in, setting the stack of files on his lap, so she offers him a bottle of Tylenol and he mumbles his thanks. The pills rattle as she starts the car and pulls away.

“So,” says Mulder as they merge onto the highway, “what do you think? Is this better than a missing dog case?” His voice is grim, but not bitter, not exactly. She thinks that Mulder is more invested in this case than he'd be in the case in Willoughby, but she's guessing he's had the same thoughts she's had about this case. The untouchable subject of their son.

Scully grits her teeth, watching the road quietly. “Not sure yet,” she says softly, thinking of needles and hospitals rooms and all the time she's feared her son was an experiment. Of everything she wanted to forget. “I suppose we’ll see.”

---

They end up at the office most of the night dealing with this issue. (Mulder keeps acting like he has a headache and Scully watches him like a hawk, nervous, but neither of them bring it up.) The DOD figures out what they're doing and confiscates the original files, of course, but Skinner surprisingly and satisfyingly has their backs (while maintaining an outwardly stern appearance). The two of them keep digging, combing through security footage from Nugenics, and Scully is stunned by how natural this all feels, investigating; aside from having to adjust to all the new technology, her transition back into the FBI feels near effortless. Even working with Mulder feels as natural as breathing, if they ignore some of the awkward tension between them.

Mulder confesses that his ordeal last night in Sanjay's apartment was due to a sharp, high, painful sound he heard, along with words: Find her. Scully points out that Sanjay killed himself due to hearing some horrible sounds, suddenly upset at herself for not seeing the connection sooner. A letter opener to the ear to stop a sound, and why didn't she see that this could easily be happening to Mulder? “This is dangerous,” she says, and Mulder scoffs, a little playfully, “When has that ever stopped us before?”

It never has. They keep digging.

Scully takes Mulder to Our Lady of Sorrows in an attempt to get in contact with Dr. Goldman. They arrange a meeting with him for the next day, but that's not what ends up sticking with Scully. They also find a pregnant woman, Agnes, who is frantic and asking for their help. She says that her baby isn't normal. She says, “I changed my mind, I'm not giving it up,” and Scully feels a horrible familiarity wash over her. All she can think about is her own son, wherever he is, the possibility that people are using him the same way that they are using Sanjay's kids. That Agnes is being used the same way she was. First Sveta and then Agnes, endless reminders of her own ordeals.

Outside of the hospital, Mulder suggests that the women in that hospital might be tools of the DOD in their experiments, incubators, and Scully can't help it. All these dark feelings rise to the surface, the same fight they've been having for years, the reason they broke up. She asks Mulder, “Is this what you believe happened to me 15 years ago? When I got pregnant, when I had my baby?” It's hard not to wince at the words, the memories this is bringing up. “Was I just an incubator?” she adds softly.

“You're never just anything to me, Scully,” he replies, and she wants to cry from it all, the horror of everything that's happened to them and how long it has been since they spoke to each other like this. In a manner of comfort, of sweetness and love, rather than from stiff politeness.

He comforts her, tells her that he thinks about their son, too, tells her that all they can do is keep looking. Suggests that they go home, because they didn't get any sleep last night and they can't exactly do anything until their meeting with Goldman tomorrow. Scully agrees, maybe because she really is tired. She feels drained, and she feels like some of that can be attributed to the day she's had. She lets Mulder drop her off at the Bureau before she drives her way out to Bethesda.

She sleeps for a few hours, tangled up in blankets, but it is unfortunately not a dreamless sleep. She dreams her usual dreams of William, the good dreams: beautiful scenes of a life she and Mulder have created for their son together that gradually turn nightmarish. She wakes with a start hours later, covered in a cold sweat and tangled up in her blankets, the image of William pleading for help still vivid behind her eyes. She stumbles to her feet quickly and pads out into her living room, collapsing in her desk chair.

Almost dizzy, she rests her head on her forearms, letting the images of her daydream leave her. She can still see that one part bright in her mind, the one where she took her son to school and kissed him goodbye. The most important thing to remember, she'd said, is that I love you. The thing she'd most like to say to William, the thing she'll never get a chance to.

She pauses for a moment, considering, hesitating, until she decides and reaches for the drawer where she keeps William's picture. It's small in her hands, glossy, and she strokes a thumb gingerly over the front in lieu of all the things she wants to say.

She never used to look at the picture. She never allowed herself to when she was living at home, actually used to get mad at Mulder when she saw him doing it. But she took this photo with her when she left, and now she does it enough to feel like a hypocrite. But she can't help it. There's something in her that needs this tether, the same part of her that keeps her wedding ring around her neck.

Her phone, which she'd deposited with her keys on her kitchen counter, buzzes. Scully gets to her feet and goes to check, sees Mulder's name lighting up the screen. You okay? the text reads.

Scully smiles a little, involuntarily. I should be asking you that question. Are YOU okay? How's your head?

I'm fine, doc, Mulder types in response, her phone buzzing merrily, and Scully shakes her head ruefully. His next message reads, I'm sorry about this case. I had no idea.

It doesn't matter, Scully types out before pausing. Even if it doesn't matter to her, the issue of William isn't her cross to bear alone; Mulder has been just as hurt by the whole thing. She deletes that message and sends, You didn't know, instead.

We should've taken the dog/ghost case.

Scully rolls her eyes automatically, although not without affection. You're never going to let that one go, are you? She can picture the way he'd be smirking with her if they were having this conversation in person.

I actually got another call from Deputy Jacobs. He says that another person has claimed a sighting.

And how many people know of the original sighting?

The deputy didn't disclose that information.

Scully is grinning unabashedly before she catches herself. It feels great to be discussing a case with Mulder, bickering back and forth about something that doesn't matter. It's almost a shock, how great it feels. But it feels just as strange to argue with Mulder over text instead of face to face. The smile slips away in a sudden, surprised motion, and she's left cradling her phone uncertainly.

It buzzes again. You know… that case is always an option. If this one gets too personal.

Scully bites her lower lip determinedly, types, No, thanks. I'm fine. She means it to sound light and casual and dismissive, but it's impossible to convey tone through text, and she's sent it by the time she changes her mind.

There's something of an awkward silence—if such a thing can exist in texts—where, if they were talking in person, Mulder would probably hurl a hurt, You're always fine. But they're not in person, and the one advantage of texting that Scully can halfway enjoy and loathe in the same breath is the ability to compose a sensible, well-thought reply. Mulder doesn't answer right away, and so she puts the William photograph back in her desk without letting herself look at it, picks up her phone and goes into her bedroom. She's changed and curled up under the comforter, her book resting in her lap, when her phone buzzes again. Mulder has said, Just let me know if you're not. Fair enough. She pretends she isn't relieved that it didn't come down to accusations.

Scully puts the phone on her bedside table and cracks open her book at an attempt at distraction. But her mind keeps returning to what Mulder had said before, in response to her asking if he ever thought about William. Yes, of course I do, he'd said with conviction, like he couldn't believe she had to ask. She'd seen Mulder looking at William's picture many times in the eleven years they'd lived together before she left, but somehow, she had never considered that he might think about William, too, at least in the way that she did. That he might imagine the life they could've had instead of what happened when they let go.

---

Goldman shows them a flurry of children who seem more or less miserable, who claim to have been there forever. Agnes is found dead, the baby gone; Scully performs the autopsy and feels like weeping the entire time. They find Goldman's wife, who tells a story Scully finds all too familiar: lost sons and daughters, experiments she couldn't save. “A mother never forgets,” she says in sympathy with the other woman, the ache in her chest that she knows Goldman's wife must feel.

The lead from Jackie Goldman leads them to Kyle Gilligan. Mulder falls to the ground again from the same horrible sound that Scully cannot hear, and her panic only increases; she tosses around angry convictions until they've arrested the perpetrator and Mulder is on his feet again.

Their arrest of Kyle Gilligan leads to a confrontation with Goldman that Scully largely doesn't see, blacking out briefly after she goes flying somehow, hits the wall hard and crumples to the hospital floor. She wakes up to Mulder kneeling beside her, his hand warm against her cheek, her forehead. “Scully?” he says softly, worry spreading over his face.

Scully's head is pounding, aching from the inside out. She groans a little, trying to sit up; Mulder grabs her hand in his and helps her sit against the wall. “Are you seeing clearly? Can you tell me your name?” His hands brush hair away from her forehead.

“Dana Katherine Scully, I'm fifty-one, and you're Fox Mulder,” she says impatiently. “We're at Goldman Technology investigating Augustus Goldman. My vision is just fine.” Mulder’s thumb grazes her cheek, and her irritability wilts, just a little. “I'm okay, Mulder. I don't have a concussion.” Although she's going to be sore as shit tomorrow; she nearly winces at the thought. “Where's Kyle?” She looks past Mulder, over his shoulder, and sees Goldman's mutilated body, winces on instinct at the bloody mess.

“Yeah,” Mulder says sympathetically, brushing hair out of her eyes. “Far as I can tell, they're gone. I'm not sure; I blacked out, too.” His hand moves down her arm to cup her elbow. “Do you want to try and get up? Have a doctor check you out?”

“I'm fine, Mulder,” she says, but it's half-hearted, and she lets Mulder help her up, lets him support her with an arm around her shoulder. “Are you okay?” she asks softly, her hand unintentionally pressed against his hip. Suddenly concerned by the fact that he says he blacked out, today; what happened to them?

His nose brushes her hair as he nods, a phantom kiss. She reaches up to touch his temple, a reflex of times long gone, and he catches her hand and lowers it gently, shooting her a gently chiding look. “You’re getting checked out if I am,” she says by way of rebuttal and he nods, tightening his arm around her shoulders. They move past the flurry of police officers and nurses and men in suits to an examination room where a nurse confirms that Scully doesn't, in fact, have a concussion, and neither does Mulder. And by then, the DOD and Skinner have arrived and the whole thing is pretty much over. Their involvement is severed.

They stand together behind the red tape, watching the whole thing go down, Mulder revealing a stolen vial of blood. He's concerned for her in a way that's absurdly surprising (and it shouldn't be surprising, not at all); he keeps touching her arm or shoulder. He backs off a little when he hears that she is all right, but he doesn't leave her side the whole time.

After they're dismissed, Mulder drives her home. It honestly surprises her, because (as she points out several times) it adds another hour to his trip, and because he's always avoided her house with a delicate staunchness, a stubborn refusal. But still, he drives her home, and she gives up trying to argue with him by the time they leave the city. By the time she's directed him to the silly smart house she can't quite believe she's still subletting (she hasn't heard from the doctor who technically owns the house in months), she’s thanking him quietly. “You really didn't have to do this,” she says as he parks, reaching for the door handle. “I promise I'm fine.”

“It's been a while since we've done this,” Mulder says, and for a minute, she thinks he means something different entirely until she realizes he's talking about the job. “Even if you don't have a concussion, I know you've got to be in pain. I wanted to make sure you got home okay.”

Scully looks down at her lap, her fingers tangled, and says, “Well, I'm grateful.” She is briefly disgusted with herself, that she can't even have a normal conversation with this man she's loved for years. That they've been reduced to near strangers.

Mulder brushes his fingers over her cheek again, and she shivers briefly, looks up at him. He's leaned a little closer, his eyes dark in this light, and they're almost nose to nose. “I'm sorry about this case,” he says softly. The same thing he'd said a couple nights ago.

Scully catches his hand in hers, gingerly, as he lowers it. “You don't have to be sorry, Mulder,” she whispers. “I know this case couldn't have been any easier for you than for me.”

He looks down at their joined fingers, squeezes her hand in lieu of an answer. She strokes the back of his hand with one tentative finger. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she is protesting that this is dangerous, that they shouldn't be doing this, but somehow, she can't stop herself. His palm is warm, and he'd tried to take care of her after she hit the wall, and she's tempted to ask him to come in, press her forehead against his and kiss the side of his jaw, his cheek. A near-insane part of her actually wants to discuss William with him; she's always avoided that topic with him in the past, but now, she honestly thinks it would help. But she is so tired, and the pounding in her head has increased to a steady ache, spreading down her back.

“You look exhausted, Scully,” Mulder says, voicing her thoughts. He squeezes her hand again before letting go, nudging her thumb in a familiar gesture from years and years ago before pulling back completely. “Get some rest, okay?”

She nods, head down, reaching for the door handle. Pauses briefly, and turns back to him. “Mulder,” she says carefully. “We can take that case in Willoughby if you want.”

Taken aback, Mulder says with surprise (but not with an inflection of amusement), “I thought it was a waste of time.”

“It is a waste of time. I think that's what we need right now.” After everything that's happened in the past couple weeks, she'd really love a ridiculous ghost story to distract her. She meets his eyes, questioning him wordlessly on what he thinks.

The side of Mulder's mouth lifts, the ghost of a grin. “I'll check with Skinner,” he says. He leans forward in one rapid motion and kisses Scully's cheek, a familiar gesture that catches her off-guard. “Goodnight, Scully.”

Her face warm, she opens the door. Offers him a lame little wave as she steps out onto the curb and says, “Goodnight, Mulder.” Like they're lying in bed beside each other, like they're holding each other as they fall asleep. Like they haven't been separated for two years.

She closes the door and watches him pull away from the curb before she goes inside.

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Glease

Masterpost

4x06: Glease

Well -- we’re still amidst a ton of Klaine angst -- but we, thankfully, get to skip over other story lines I’m not as fond of such as; Marley’s eating disorder, the Newbies doing Grease, and Rachel/Brody/Finn/Cassie nonsense.  I will take Klaine angst any day. 

Role You Were Born to Play

So Kurt wasn’t in episode five, but there are still some things in this episode that I need to discuss.  

First of all -- we’re entering the part the main part of season 4, where Kurt just doesn’t get a lot exploration or commentary -- and therefore we get to fill in some of the blanks.  I’ll try to do my best at explaining what are facts and what are my own headcanon. 

Anyway -- there’s not a whole lot of Blaine in this episode either, but here are some things we learn: 

Kurt and Blaine already discussed spending the rest of their lives together.  I’m gonna guess this was as early as when they got together in season 2, back when Kurt said Blaine was on board going to New York with Kurt. 

They were going to move to Province Town and buy a lighthouse and start an artist colony.  Okay, they were weirdos. 

Kurt’s not talking to Blaine.  AT ALL.  It’s kind of implied over the next three episodes that after Blaine left the loft that morning, Kurt has done his best not to be in contact.  Which is a very Kurt-ish thing to do.  He doesn’t really face his problems head on.  He likes to avoid them, and ignore that he feels anything.  

Blaine has a Kurt scrapbook -- which most likely means that Kurt has a Blaine scrapbook.  They probably made these together.  

After looking at the still -- I noticed there some postcards, and I while I can’t really see what they say, I’m almost positive that they were from Kurt (it looks like his name) -- and, awww, bbs, Kurt sent Blaine postcards from NY!!

Sill in Mourning

So, like a good roommate -- Kurt’s helping Rachel prep for her Glass Menagerie audition.  This scene is really about Rachel and Cassie getting to spar once again, but I’m going to ignore most of that an concentrate on Kurt. 

First - I’d like to point out that Kurt’s looking disheveled and is wearing black.  Look, I know the narrative isn’t focused on Kurt, and is more interested in telling Blaine’s story, but I need to make this clear.  This break up -- fucking sucks for Kurt, too.  Breaking up with Blaine is not something he ever wanted or anticipated.  And dealing with the shock and the pain of what Blaine did is something he’s in the middle of doing right now --- even if we don’t get to see much of it. 

He’s putting /no/ effort into how he looks -- which is a big thing for Kurt.  He’s wearing sweats, for god’s sake, and doing really nothing about his hair.  And while I, shallowly, kinda like this look, it means that Kurt’s hurting so much he’s not concentrating (either) on things he loves.  The black, which he’s worn since that night at Callbacks, also, is something he’ll continue to wear until he and Blaine have their talk in Thanksgiving. And the black, very obviously, is for mourning.  He’s grieving the death of his relationship. 

So -- on to the plot -- Tina’s giving him updates on the play.  Why would he care? Why would Tina care to tell him about it? I have to wonder if Tina’s passive-aggressively trying to get him to talk to Blaine.  I wonder if he listens because there’s a part of him that, while I’m sure Tina’s bugging him, wants to know what’s going on. He may have cut Blaine off completely -- but that doesn’t mean he’s not willing to hear second hand details. 

So -- Cassie comes in with her abs and her ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude and tells them that if they still have baggage over their exes -- go home and fix it.  

Rachel, I should note, claims she has closure (well, you did get something at the end of that episode....) but is totally lying to herself about her feelings because she’s too busy pretending to be an adult and be fine with things that are not fine instead of dealing with her issues.  (That’s sorta her arc this season.) 

Meanwhile, though Kurt is at least admitting he’s not fine.  In fact, he’s not fine at all -- and when Cassie mentions having baggage and no closure, and when Rachel mentions she’s fine, Kurt gives her a look -- this look that says, I fucking do not have closure and am not fine and c’mon Rachel.... 

Kurt breaks down and decides he’s going.  He admits here that he hasn’t seen or talked to Blaine since that night -- and I’m guessing that any kind of closure now is better than what he’s going through.  He’s not sleeping (hey, didn’t someone else mention that in the previous episode?) -- and taking sleeping pills to force himself to sleep.  And watching The Notebook, over and over.  

And as I mentioned earlier -- it’s not just that this romantic relationship failed.  It’s not even that both Kurt and Blaine just lost their best friend.  They had their entire lives planned out, together, and now Kurt’s entire future (because he thought he was gonna go to NYADA, too) is out of whack -- and so not what he thought it was going to be.  

So -- Kurt wants to go back, because maybe-- just maybe seeing Blaine again won’t hurt so much.  Maybe they’ll be able to work something out.... 

Kurt what even are you doing, lol? I mean - I understand that you’re mirroring Cassie, but why? Do you want abs, too? 

I need to mention, though, that Kurt begs Rachel to go with him because he can’t go alone.  The thing is -- this stuff sucks -- and Kurt, while definitely trying to handle everything alone, is not doing a good job.  Rachel, right now, is his only real friend -- and adopting her attempt at shoving away her feelings and issues seems like something Kurt wants to try in order to not feel so much pain.  (Granted, this comes up more in Thanksgiving, but I thought I’d point it out here.) 

Making a Return

Kurt and Rachel return to Lima.  And this is the first time he’s come back since he left.  It’s always a little weird returning home, especially for the first time.  It’s the same, yet weirdly different.  Anyway -- Rachel’s all about her ego and Kurt’s like, ha, no, I’m nervous and anxious because I’m really here for Blaine, and idk how that’s gonna go. 

For nostalgia’s sake -- Rachel brings up the time that Kurt pretended to have a crush on her to get out of dating Mercedes.  So, did he tell her about that? Cause Rachel didn’t know at the time.  Anyway - this is all to lead up to the return of Mercedes.  

And it’s so nice to see Kurt light up when he sees her.  Life might suck at the moment, but seeing her is always a balm on his heart (at least in my interpretation.) 

Also, hilariously, Mercedes said that they should come back stage and see people, cause they’ll freak when they’re there.  Other than Finn and Blaine, who’s really gonna care that they’re there?  Lol...

This scene. Damn, this scene.  I don’t even know where to start.  

Can I say it’s pretty hilarious when Mercedes hightails it outta there.  She doesn’t want to have anything to do with that little mess of a group. 

Other than Blaine’s stutter at seeing Kurt, and saying he didn’t expect them there, there is /no/ dialogue between the two of them.  But the non-verbal communication is off the charts.  Finn and Rachel have a majority of the conversation here -- and I wish I had the After Elton review of this, but they summed it much better than I will -- but while Finchel is being somewhat petty with each other -- Kurt and Blaine are just having a really, really sad conversation with their eyes. 

Kurt keeps trying to look at Blaine -- and he can’t.  Because Blaine is so beautiful, and so lovely, and it fucking hurts to look him at because how could Blaine do such an awful thing to him. And how can he still have so many feelings, so many conflicting feelings.   (A side note - I am not letting Kurt off the hook for his part to play.  But in a way, he won’t really realize that until he breaks the relationship a few years from now.)  

And then there’s Blaine -- who is staring at him, with those sad, puppy dog eyes. And he’s so, so sorry.  

Kurt tries really, really hard to focus on the little Finchel drama going on.  Because ever time he sneaks a little peak at Blaine, it’s so much harder. 

There’s an interesting moment -- where Finn says they’re proud of the play, and Blaine puffs his chest a little -- like he is proud of what they’re doing, and he’s gonna try his best even though he’s breaking inside, too.  Kurt desperately tries to ignore that.  Blaine’s heart breaks a little more in that moment.  So does Kurt’s. 

I mean -- remember last year at this time? When Kurt was so proud of Blaine on that stage? And they were intimate for the first time afterwards? Yeah - like that isn’t in the back of their minds, too. 

I also want to give a shout out to the costume department.  Kurt dressed all in black, yet so pale looking.  While Blaine is in white -- Teen Angel ironically, though with such darker features.  They’re two sides of the same coin -- two parts of the same pair.  They’re matched up, even when they’re broken.  Oh, bbs <3 

Blaine gives one last lingering look to Kurt before he takes off.  And the minute he’s gone, Kurt begins to breath again.  And he nearly breaks down.  Because seeing Blaine again makes it almost worse.  It makes all these feelings even more real than they already were.  Blaine is still Blaine -- yet he is changed, and seeing him again doesn’t fix what happened.  

Rachel, who is better at masking her feelings, gives him a pep talk -- and he gives in to her -- cause it’s much easier to let someone else take control.  (Which is saying something -- because Kurt very much likes to be in control.) 

Performances

Blaine as Teen Angel is -- ironic on about hundred levels.  Here’s this a projection of a flawless and perfect prince for you Kurt -- and it’s a bit of a mockery.  (This scene is more for Blaine -- who, side stepping the fact that it wouldn’t be possible, sees Kurt in the audience and it causes him to falter.) But Kurt looks like he’s going to be sick during the whole thing.  Everything on that stage was something he believed in -- and everything is now a lie. 

As an aside -- though -- it’s actually a good thing that Blaine has slid off Kurt’s pedestal.  To actually really love someone, you need to see their dark side as well as the light, and love them anyway.  And Kurt will eventually come to the conclusion that he does. But, shattering this perfect image, and seeing the truth underneath, is not an easy thing to come to terms with. 

The look on Kurt’s face as Blaine gives one last dashing look before he leaves the stage.  Goodbye overly romanticized ideal of the man I loved.  You’re never gonna have that back, Kurt but that’s okay, I promise!! 

Man -- Kurt spends this entire episode nearly in tears but never really breaks down.  Kurt’s usually an easy crier.  But he’s doing his damnedest to control his feelings.  And it’s probably tearing him up inside. 

Kurt’s at least enjoying the play as a whole a little better. 

So -- we get this whole ‘You’re the One That I Want’ montage.  And, first I’m glad we’re skipping Marley’s eating stuff and Ryder kissing her to calm her down and a whole lot of no -- yuk.  Also, it’s fascinating to me how much better Finn and Rachel sound when they start singing opposed to Ryder and Marley. Also, also -- it cracks me up that they flashback to the pilot, and they still include Kurt’s WTF look in the flashback. Anyway, I digress.... 

Finchel has this little fantasy.  Who’s dreaming about the other couples? Who knows.  The point, though, is that the show is letting us know that despite being broken up -- all these couples still want each other.  

Well damn, Chris.  I mean...

You all have seen this scene gif’d a million times.  You know what the close ups look like (I can’t still it without it being awful.)  Kurt and Blaine dance with each other -- and it’s cute.  Watch for their background moments, because they’re goofing around when not in focus, and it’s adorable. 

Finchel Lite

So -- Finn and Rachel get this complex and length little scene that hits on a lot of points about their relationship.  And then Klaine gets thirty seconds.  Ug.  I’m not bitter at all....  But the a point I need to take from the Finchel-ness is that Rachel says that home no longer feels like home.  And Kurt doesn’t understand for another thirty seconds. 

Blaine wants to talk -- Kurt doesn’t.  Because Kurt’s in way too much pain to have any kind of rational conversation.  (And because Kurt tries not to have these hard conversations whenever possible...) 

But oh, Blaine -- you opened with the /wrong/ thing to talk about.  Kurt really, really doesn’t want to hear about details about what happened.  It doesn’t matter what actually happened, it’s the fact that it did that hurts Kurt so much.  As I said in the Break Up post -- it’s the fact that it happened at all that shatters Kurt.  And rehashing that isn’t going to help.  

The conversation here about trust is interesting.  Kurt is right, relationships are about trust.  Blaine didn’t trust his relationship enough.  Kurt trusted it too much -- and the thing is -- the real key here -- is that Kurt does whatever he can to shield himself in from pain and heartache.  He’s spent years shielding himself off from people who have kicked him when he’s down, and trying to show that he doesn’t care.  He’s spent years perfecting this perfect defense against his own emotions. 

And he let Blaine in.  He let Blaine into his heart, and let him see the most vulnerable parts of him.  And no one -- /no one/ had the ability to hurt Kurt as deeply as Blaine.  Because Kurt protects himself.  Except the one time he thought it would be okay to let his guard down, and his heart got stomped on in the worst way.  

The trust conversation doesn’t come back until the end of season five -- because yeah, it takes Kurt /that/ long to figure how how to trust Blaine again.  But also -- he’ll need to screw up the relationship, too, to fully understand.  But man - we have a bumpy ride to get to that point. 

Meanwhile - Kurt’s about to lose it, and he can’t stay any longer because he’ll be just a mess.  And he says that Rachel is right -- Blaine, who was one of the definitions of his home, feels the furthest thing from it.  

Kurt takes off with Rachel, and I’ll bet you anything, the minute they round that corner, Kurt, who’s tried so hard to control everything this entire episode, breaks down crying.  Oh bbs.  It gets better. 

So yeah -- that’s the episode.  And Kurt’s absent from episode 7 because it’s time to make Blaine become a real boy, and let him forgive himself.  These are tough times -- but there are some great things to dig through coming up.  I’m kinda looking forward to it. :) 

[wrathtied]

really  LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY.    RULES.  repost ,   don’t  reblog  !    tag  10  ! good  luck  !    TAGGED.  @vrepit-sa​    TAGGING. @bluerioted​ @percautus​ @feralmindset​ @shiroganc​ @warzonic​ @judgehund​ @matthxlt​ @oceauz​ @oceanpride​ @vermiillion​

BASICS.

FULL  NAME :   kreihid ( no last name ) NICKNAME :   none, but his alias is ‘keith’ AGE :  human equivalent of 19, about 150 drosurian rotations  BIRTHDAY :   unknown from his home planet, earth dates april 4th ETHNIC  GROUP :  galra, drosurian subspecies  NATIONALITY :   galran, planet drosur-6 LANGUAGE / S : universal galran language, drosur dialect, human english SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :  homosexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION :  demiromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS :   single HOME  TOWN / AREA :  drosur-6 does not have towns CURRENT  HOME :   earth or the castle of lions PROFESSION :  galra foot soldier, spy, paladin of voltron

PHYSICAL.

SKIN: greyish purple, hard, dry, layered. it is broken up by scales-like plates that cover him in order to give him mobility. there is a slightly thicker layer of dead skin that is hardened into keratin and acts as a natural ‘armor’. when this layer is damaged, it sheds itself and regrows a healthy layer.  EYES :   a vibrant yellow, lidless.  LIPS :   thin and scaled, slightly softer skin than the rest of his body. sharp teeth tend to poke out of the corners.  COMPLEXION :  smooth scales.  BLEMISHES :   kreihid is spotted! some drosurians will have patterns on their scales, his are deep purple spots of varying size. SCARS :  pre-experiments, kreihid had a series of scars from training to be a soldier. a few deep scratches on his arms and back, and two on his face just below his left eye. after transformation, his human form has no scars.  TATTOOS :  none. HEIGHT :   drosurian - 6′5″. human 5′7″ WEIGHT :   drosurian - 450 earth pounds (drosur has far less gravity, so their bodies are denser), human 150 lbs.  BUILD :   slender, muscles typically defined in his thighs and biceps, as it is harder to train his abdomen muscles due to the keratin layer.  FEATURES :   he has two rows of sharp teeth, one in front of the other.  ALLERGIES :   dairy.  USUAL  HAIR  STYLE :  he doesn’t have hair, but the scales that frame his face protrude slightly and are a different hue of purple than his skin.  USUAL  FACE  LOOK :   its hard to read expressions on him. sometimes the teeth on the corners of his mouth will poke out over his lips.  USUAL  CLOTHING :  the drosurian soldier uniform is similar to the typical galra soldiers’ uniforms, however the chest and abdomen plating is slightly weaker given that drosurians have a natural armor to protect them anyway. 

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S :   to fail in his mission.  ASPIRATION / S :   to bring voltron to his emperor, to be a hero to his empire.  POSITIVE  TRAITS :   loyal, brave, steadfast, strong NEGATIVE  TRAITS :   blind by loyalty, careless, untrusting, untrustworthy, aggressive, violent MBTI :   VIRTUOSO ( ISTP ) ZODIAC :   aries. TEMPEREMENT :   choleric. SOUL  TYPE / S :    hunter. ANIMALS :   weasel.  VICE  HABIT / S :    crossing arms, rolling eyes, scowling, rattling FAITH :  none. GHOSTS ? :   kreihid tends not to believe in the supernatural  AFTERLIFE ? :   he doesnt give much thought to what happens after death REINCARNATION ? :   ^ ALIENS ? :   well..... POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT :  loyalty to zarkon EDUCATION  LEVEL :    educated as a soldier, and deeply educated in human customs

FAMILY.

FATHER :    unknown MOTHER :    unknown SIBLINGS :   unknown EXTENDED  FAMILY :   unknown NAME  MEANING / S :    kreihid comes from a number system in drosurian dialect; he is the 114th of his class. all drosurians are named with numbers.  HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? :   none.

FAVORITES.

BOOK :  none. MOVIE :   none. 5  SONGS : none.  DEITY :   none. HOLIDAY :   none. MONTH :   none. SEASON :   summer.  PLACE :    the castle of lions WEATHER :    sweltering and dry. drosur has 3 suns, and very little water, and almost no natural growing vegetation SOUND :   the low humming of flying through space, human music of any kind, sand crunching SCENT / S :    sand, smoke, cedar  TASTE / S :    meat, spicy foods FEEL / S :   squishy things, sticky things ANIMAL / S :    earth cats. NUMBER :  none COLORS :   red, purple, yellow

EXTRA.

TALENTS :  hand to hand combat, piloting, lying BAD  AT :  trusting others, picking up social cues, reading TURN  ONS :   control, physical touch, low voices TURN  OFFS :   losing control completely, most dirty talk, showing off his human form HOBBIES :   physical training, flying, sword/knife practice TROPES :   cunning like a fox, manipulative bastard, aliens and monsters, neutral evil, hidden villain, ( this was hard ) QUOTES :     “i’ve got a job to do, and im going to see it through” “destroying everything seems like the best option.” 

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?           A1 :   similar events as in the voltron series, but from kreihid’s point of view, probably focusing on going down his redemption arc.  Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?           A2 :   hard rock, industrial rock Q3 :   why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?           A3 :    i love keith so much, and i wanted to take my own spin on him. i wanted to explore the galra universe as well, and make my own take on a subspecies. also i love writing dark/manipulative characters.  Q4 :   what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ?           A4 :    i love aliens and emo boys, what can i say? also, i imprinted heavy on keith when i first watched the series, so writing him was an obvious choice for me.  Q5 :   describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.           A5 :   he’s gross. he needs to shower more often. he probably smells terrible.  Q6 :   what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?           A6 :   kreihid i have less in common with, other than i suppose we’re both workaholics. keith im way more similar to.  Q7 :   how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?           A7 :    indifferent probably.  Q8 :   what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with ?         A8 :   the paladins are fun to get to know because he can use all of that. he wants more interaction with his home species, or with galra in general.  Q9 :   what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ?         A9 :    typically its music that makes me want to write him, or discussing him with my friends.  Q10 :   how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?           A10 :    a couple hours but i had to take breaks because my dogs are horrible lol

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se3, ep10 (part 2)

-Yuki’s stages of growth:

I love yuki! I used to say that yuki’s growth is the most clear & steady going, it was done with much care & involving the audience in every step. However, I now think there is sth missing from his last stage of growth. Yuki’s growth is divided into 3 stages:

Realizing his weakness ( Mom’s tohru stage), in se01 & most of se02, took way longer than it should, imo. But the ideas were well-written, the concept of needing a maternal figure is original & we connected with him a lot.

Searching for himself ( Kakeru stage & friendship) in se02, took appropriate time. well-written, gradual, clear & fulfilling.

Becoming his own person ( Machi) & (kyo: altho this new dynamics just started) in se03. very little time, hasty development.

I’ve talked abt stage 1 & 2 enough. I loved the ideas, the struggle & the writing. I had few complains about how excessive the tohru-stage was & how it could’ve been reduced to benefit both tohru & yuki without stealing anything from their growth. Now, we see the consequences of not planning yuki’s growth moderately throughout the 3 seasons. The biggest element that suffered is his stage as a normal teenage guy with normal romantic feelings to contradict his child-like stage when he needed a motherly care & support from another female his age. By the time se03 started lots of characters with their arcs not starting yet needed the spotlight! Yuki was a character in the final stage of his arc, so his entire romantic journey condensed to (a) fixing machi’s issues to create a bond: se03, e03, (b) deciding to confess the curse & feelings: se03 ep.5. Their relationship can happen off-screen as well, that’s fine, but the audience who spent 2 seasons hearing yuki’s thoughts abt realizing his struggle to acknowledge a motherly love, should have been involved in yuki’s thoughts in realizing a romantic love. All you need, is a very short access to yuki’s thoughts. Him looking at her while doing student council activities & telling us he loves her, not him grabbing her hand  thinking “ oh gotta tell her my biggest secret & test her love to me”. So, it is a shame normal teenage boy yuki in love part is missing before the confession & becoming an official couple.

-Yuki’s growth after facing kyo:

This part that is confusing me. Part of making yuki become his own person is making him face kyo & they both set their differences aside & connect. They both becoming free from the “ I hate you” that the sohma system constructed & their trauma reinforced. This is huge as you can connect it to the zodiac legend: The cat never hated the rat for tricking it & the rat was never bad. The whole legend crumbles down as the two zodiacs connect.

--During the fight: yuki was his real self: someone who cares for others with burning passion. Yuki completely dropped down any remaining attachment to his mask & was his most open & emotional stage. The boys connected in a dark dim-let hallway between their rooms. Signaling they met in the middle. Now they see eye to eye.

--After the fight: Kyo left the darkness into the sunny streets, decided to face his dad & reconcile with his past, was rewarded with the knowledge that he didn’t have anything to do with his mom’s death. He left his dad’s house determined to chase his life. Move forward. He had doubts again as he neared tohru but those doubts added humanity & realistic reluctance. You just dont go 100% strong suddenly. But it is so weird that yuki kinda regressed a little after the fight?? he stayed in the dark dim-let hallway? why? His body language confused me so much!

Yuki looked broken, hugging himself, hiding his face, head buried, exactly as he was in akito’s room in his flashbacks!!!

We hear the same voice-over from the ep opener abt mistakes & trails. The voice-over fits kyo so much but it is so weird attached to yuki now in this exact stage after the fight while he’s sad? Why is yuki sad to begin with??? Is it because yuki is the writer & she needed to comment on kyo’s state thro yuki’s voice-over? This has been done before in se02, ep14. But why attach it with sad imagery of yuki? the voice-over can be attached to him being relived, calm & collected.

Shouldn’t he be relived & liberated knowing the guy who hated him & hurt him was in reality admiring him all this time?! Shouldn’t he be proud of himself for standing up to tohru? for opening up abt his feelings?

Shouldn’t he be happy to empty his chest from the long hidden secret of admiring kyo! Shouldn’t he be clear headed now? stronger? like how kyo is stronger now?

Shouldn’t he be glad that he helped kyo get his act together. He did another person whom he presumably hate a favor just like tohru did him a favor. I’m not saying he should be happily jumping in the house, lol, but he shouldn’t be sad, too!

Why staying in the dark? Why sulking? Why having existential thoughts abt life in general until machi saved him from all that with her call.

-Kureno/ Arisa/ Akito: (the end of the non-existence triangle):

Arisa unexpectedly found out the man she loved is hospitalized. Akito tells her I stabbed him. Arisa hugs her. I’m sorry, but what? XD. Shouldn’t Arisa at least say: what? is he okay? Not judging, but why did you stab him? I mean even if Arisa is okay with akito & all, but as a first reaction that was so weirdly-written, lol. I get the need to hastily close this chapter, But I duno it could’ve been written better even with the intention of making Arisa hug akito. oh well~ moving on. Arisa says she’s sorry she wasnt in kureno’s 26 years & I was like yeah, cuz you weren’t born yet, girl! You can plan to spend the rest of your life with him, but I fail to see the romance in the sentiment of feeling left out from the life of a person older than me. I simply wasn’t born. Anyway, moving on~ He then tells her he needs to leave /break up with akito for akito’s sake! oh, kureno, you’re such a kind/fool guy, but OMG, do I wish to hear my crush/lover say he’ll break up with his ex for his ex’s sake!  I get this is Airisa thing, to love foolish/kind ppl. I get it. She appreciate that & wasn't offended. But I cant help feeling those lines weren’t romantic at all! Moving on ~again~ she then tells him, she’ll follow him & won’t say why. Teasing him that she loves him. so cute! but also such a teenage girl thing to say, so....~~ lol.. Now, really Moving on ~ He’s cute, she’s gorgeous, so, their ship sailed~

-Running towards the future: (wanting you)

The ep closed with both kyo & yuki chasing their future in union. Kyo determined but worried, yuki surprised but blushing. Machi took yuki from the darkness of his hallway to the sunny streets to give him sth, unknowingly setting their 1st date! Tohru runs away from kyo, which he responded by more determination contradicting his defeated self when tohru confessed to him in ep8. Can I say seeing kyo runs after tohru is so fulfilling after seeing him push her away! yes, tohru, give him hard time! yes, make him bend da knee, queen! XD. I guess next ep we’ll see two confessions!

I can’t say much abt yuki/machi confession as I don’t know their romantic dynamics at all, but I have no doubt the director will make yuki’s confession worthy to compensate the lack of their growth as a romantic ship! can’t wait!!

As for kyoru, oh boy~ tohru looks hurt, as expected! her eyes are tearful. Kyo has to show her the old defeated, broken & accepting-death boy is gone now! he’ll have to show her how much he wants her!  That’s the key word: “ it is crazy how much I want her” ~ the boy who thought he deserved nothing but death is now actively wanting the best girl in all anime! Miss. Tohru Honda. My girl!

Side Notes:

I appreciate the personal privacy theme in furuba: no one knows the details of any couples fights or loves except them. Hatori/kana, hatori/mayoko: except shigre the matchmaker!, tohru/kyo: except yuki heard by chance & neither tohru nor kyo talked abt their fight to anybody, but everybody knows those two fools in love, XD. Yuki/machi: kyo didnt even know yuki is thinking of someone. but then again, I dont know if machi herself knows yet. shigure/akito: ok, I’ll skip this one until I’m confident I can express/ understand it. lol

Kyo’s face as he left his dad’s house! the determination! so proud of him!! but kyo’s I’m-so-crazily-in-love face is kyo’s best face, tho. The tenderness!

I’m the girl who rolls her eyes when someone tricks me to watch a “romantic film, like The Notebook” ... Also, i’m the girl who screamed when kyo chased tohru in a typical romcom fashion! XD. Takaya-san, what did you do to me?! AAAAAAAA~~

Kyo’s questions of why? how? what? he loves abt tohru, then ahh~ I just love her... I want her~ then the “ ppl shouldn't run when getting out of hospital” are the best tension release after the scumbag dad scene! I was amused, in tears, laughing, crying, cheering & above all! so happy!

MACHI was not allowed to turn her face to the viewers the entire ep! WHY!!!!!!!! T_T. You could’ve shown me her face as she was worried that tohru is yuki’s gf. or her shock at hearing ? mom? T_T.

haru is love. haru is dumb. haru is the best. lol.

Kakeru responding with ease “ she’s his mom” is the best & most realistic thing a friend should do to his friend! XD.

Why doesn't kyo (who is rich btw) own sneakers with different colors? lol. why the exact same color! is tohru the only one allowed to change designs? XD.

Yuki’s outfit today is his best outfit! Also, if blushing yuki is yuki’s default face in his romantic time with machi! then it is so refreshing! altho, i think machi is the blusher. lol. I duno, they both blush? maybe he’s similar to how haru is? I guess, we’ll know next ep! =D

Question: what was the joke in haru’s scene abt entering the house when yuki hit him & said so crass? I dont get it..... lol

Shigure was allowed to use his old jokes abt wrecking his house. I missed those! XD

Furuba’s voice-overs are always badly implemented. Now we have two voice overs of yuki with the same content exactly: one in the ep opener & one near the end. why couldn’t one be enough? Why repeat the same speech twice? this reduces its value & hinders the animation dynamics.

[heartbeatsonapage]

I support this perspective!!!

Kept the original tags because...same.

are people seriously not understanding that the whole point of colin's arc this season is him trying to be something he's not??

like sure the brothel scenes are a little weird and jarring but like they're meant to be??? because he's not actually that into it, he's just trying to do what all the other men his age are doing so he can fit in??

the writers aren't trying to 'turn him into anthony or simon' or make him a rake because that's what we're used to - HE'S trying to turn HIMSELF into anthony or simon or basically any of the other guys who this comes naturally to; who enjoy sleeping with lots of different people somewhat emotionlessly and don't get lonely because of it (and no judgement to that it's just not him)

he literally kisses Pen ONCE and absolutely loses his mind over it because its obviously never felt like that for him before. that moment is his 'oh so that's what that's supposed to feel like' moment and that's how he knows he's in love with her its literally so good???

i understand people feel like its rushed but honestly to me it feels perfectly in character for him to discover the solution to his loneliness he's been searching for all this time and immediately dive into it headfirst. that moment right at the end of ep4 where he asks her to marry him is the most authentic colin i think we've seen all season. he's sweet and funny and playful and passionate and impulsive - he's finally stopped trying to be someone he's not and now that he knows who he is and what he wants he's all in.

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Sadie Hawkins

Masterpost

4x11: Sadie Hawkins

I have some thoughts now that we’re into the second half of season 4 (which I realize don’t officially start until 4x12 - but 4x11 is definitely in the second half.)  Kurt’s story in the first half of the season is much tighter than I had realized until doing this meta.  There’s very much an arc there and despite me wanting /more/ it’s a pretty fully realized arc.  

The second half of the season, despite the fact that I enjoy these episodes more, isn’t as tight.  I can see what they were going for with Kurt’s arc but it feels very much incomplete.  And this is where we have to start filling in the blanks a little more. 

Welcome to NYADA

It’s Kurt’s first week at NYADA - and he’s finding that college is a lot like high school with all the cliques and pecking order.  I won’t entirely disagree with that point, though the college of music that I went to things were divided up a little differently (there were performance majors and education majors and music theory/history majors and my little group of composers.  Seriously, we were a tiny little group that mostly kept to ourselves). But -- the thing is, once you get past your freshman and sophomore years, when the people who aren’t going to make it drop out, it feels less like high school.  (At the same time there are aspects of adulthood that feel like high school still, too.)  Whatever, I’m digressing. 

The point is -- Kurt can feel that he’s back at the bottom of the food chain.  Or that, starting new somewhere is always hard.  

Anyway - I’d like to know what classes Kurt has this year.  I believe the only thing we see him taking this year is the acting class in Guilty Pleasures. I’ll have to watch...

So we learn that Kurt and Rachel are not inseparable (which is not a bad thing!!!).  Rachel probably already has her legion of sycophants as well as a half naked Brody to deal with.  Which means Kurt is on his own.  And, ngl, I like Kurt finding his way without Rachel.  So, Kurt is interesting in getting out there and meeting new people so he’s checking out what there is to do on campus and sees a sign for an a capella group named Adam’s Apples.  

And of course, Adam himself whizzes by just to mention he should check it out.  Anyone else thing that Adam routinely hangs out around that pillar just jumping on anyone who comes by so he can talk them into his group? 

***Okay here’s my thing with Adam.  I don’t hate him at all, and I enjoy the idea that Kurt would have another love interest while he works out his issues with Blaine.  I think it’s an interesting set up -- and it’s a shame it wasn’t developed as fully as it could have been.  However, I also think that Adam is ridiculous, and am going to poke at him from time to time. 

Hummelberry Chat

It’s canon that Kurt does vocal warm ups in the morning while making tea.  Just thought I’d throw that out there. 

So -- Rachel’s having Brody sleep over now.  Oh that’s fun [sarcasm].  Kurt’s a little -- okay -- about it, but he has his white noise machine so he can tune out whatever god awful sounds probably come from that side of the loft. 

Kurt mentions that he’s going to join Adam’s group and Rachel freaks out.  Sidestepping my long thoughts on how actual college works vs NYADA (I’ll spare you, I promise, but yes I have lots of thoughts...), Rachel tells Kurt that joining showchoir will lead him into a life of a background chorus member.  Kurt’s disappointed, and a little annoyed, at hearing this -- but is resigned and initially follows her advice.  

Adam’s Apples

Kurt’s trying to find something to do to fill up his time.  Is he really not meeting anyone in his classes?  Oh, kiddo.... 

Anyway, Adam’s still hanging around that pillar like a hawk.  And, impressively, is trying to recruit Kurt to join his group.  He’s heard Kurt at the Winter Showcase and knows he needs to lock that up before Kurt finds something else to do.  Kurt’s flattered (really - he is thrilled at the attention as Adam keeps showering him with compliments, as if he can’t believe this dude is really doing this) - but because of Rachel’s brainwashing suggestion that he shouldn’t, Kurt’s going to turn him down -- even if he kinda does want to join. 

My biggest issue with Adam, or really how fandom dealt with Adam because he was never supposed to be more than a plot device, was the fact that (besides being ‘not Blaine’) the Kurt fans latched on to him because he always showered Kurt with praise.  And yeah, I’m happy that someone is giving Kurt the praise he deserves.  But I also like fully rounded characters, and Adam is not.  He’s a prop.  Unless he was going to get actual development (which the writers didn’t seem interested in doing) I was never going to be fully on board with him as actual long term relationship material.  (That - and Klaine is where my heart is.) 

I can really understand people wanting Adam to be a friend to Kurt long term.  Completely.  I prefer Elliott -- and am glad we had Elliott -- but Kurt had /no/ friends except Rachel, and people just can’t live in a bubble.  

Baby Got Back.  Okay.  

First of all, I don’t like this song in any rendition -- but the sheer ridiculousness of it cracks me up every time.   Also the Apples are hilarious - I like them more than I like Adam. 

Here’s the thing that I find fascinating about this scene.  It’s intentionally set up to be like the Teenage Dream set up in Never Been Kissed.  I mean, like season 2, Kurt’s started off his year rough, and here’s this cute leader of a new singing group making him smile.  (And Kurt just breaks out laughing -- the way he hasn’t since....idk, some time in season 3 probably.)  This is good for him, bringing him out of his rut, making him alive (as he sang in Swan Song).  He’s even wearing white! Which is the first time, I believe, that he’s worn bright colors since The New Rachel. 

But Adam is not Blaine.  And Baby Got Back is not Teenage Dream. The scene is intentionally cracky - because it’s not about Kurt finding a true love or a big romance.  It’s about fun, and enjoying himself, and being okay with enjoying himself.    This is purposely a parody of Teenage Dream, because this is the mid-ship, not the endgame.  ;) 

I think also, I think this is as good as time as any to mention that there are some slight parallels here to what’s going on on the Blaine side of the story -- with his crush on Sam.  While Kurt and Adam will become more romantically involved (even if we don’t see it), like Blaine’s crush on Sam, Adam’s a safe choice.  

On a different note, it’s nice to be admired and courted and given positive attention.  But Kurt has all the control here, even if he’s later trepidatious about asking Adam out.  If he really doesn’t want the thing, he can walk away if he wants or needs to.  And with all the heaviness of Blaine (still) around -- it’s a nice feeling. 

Fast Moving

So, Kurt and Rachel are walking around downtown (after class?) -- and Rachel’s gonna go meet Brody and she invites Kurt along.  Kurt claims he doesn’t want to be a ‘haggy third wheel’ but I’m guessing hanging out with Rachel and Brody is probably not a fun time.  I can’t imagine it being any fun.  Man - what do they even talk about with each other?  Anyway.... 

Rachel can’t wait until he meets a new guy so they can go on double dates.  And I have to wonder if this was a standard thing that they did with Finn and Blaine.  The fact that she can so easily swap out partners in this scenario says something about her character.  Kurt, however, admits to her that there is a cute guy that he might have his eye on.  And of course, Rachel wants all the details.  

As an aside -- I’m amused that Kurt hasn’t mentioned this to her yet and I’m guessing it’s been a few days at this point? Rachel will spill everything to him in a matter of seconds after it happened, but Kurt’s more careful about these things.  

I’d like to point out that Adam’s Apples isn’t the only club he decided to join - he’s in the Tennessee Williams playwright club as well.  I wonder if this was still at the point where Ryan Murphy was going to have Kurt have a successful writing career, too.  

Anyway -- Adam comes along and says he looks like a young Paul Newman.   I mean at a distance I can kinda see it.  But I think Adam’s intentions are a little laced with that reference ;) 

Later - Kurt’s practicing his dancing and Adam, again, compliments him. And, c’mon Kurt, it’s definitely a come on this time because we all know how well a dancer Kurt really is (lol).  Kurt brings that his ex-boyfriend was a better dancer.  (First, oh Kurt comparing yourself, and secondly, the fact that Blaine is, if nothing else, subconsciously still on his mind.) 

But Adam repeats himself - and it’s a lesson to Kurt on taking a compliment when it’s given. 

(Though, Adam, dude, this guy is obviously not over his ex -- just warning ya.) 

Yes, Kurt has a legitimate crush on Adam.  And he’s also having a hard time believing Adam likes him back - because look at his past crushes.  He’s never had anyone pursue him, and it’s flattering but Kurt’s still unsure of himself.  Rachel, however, is right there to let him know he should go for it -- because all the evidence presents that Adam’s pretty open to at least a date.  And she’s not wrong, even if this entire scene she’s coming from a somewhat misguided place. 

Rachel brings up that he should ask out Adam because he’s over his break up with Blaine, and he and Blaine are now fine.  And, part of this is projection of her own situation (in which she’s completely in denial about) and part of it is her totally not paying much attention to Kurt (though Kurt often holds his deeper feelings close to his chest anyway).  But I love the look on Kurt’s face as she brings up Blaine.  There’s still a lot of pain there that he’d rather not deal with.  He and Blaine might be on the road to a better place, but they’re not ‘fine’ and he’s not over the break up. 

But - I will give Rachel credit for having solid advice that Kurt should go out there and ask Adam out because sometimes it’s worth it. (And because Kurt’s a catch - yes, yes he is! Even if he doesn’t believe that himself.)  Sometimes you do need to take the risk.  And there’s nothing wrong with Kurt being one to make the first move.  Kurt’s been burned before -- so I understand his hesitance, but part of this whole asking Adam out thing is him regaining his confidence. 

Rachel then spouts off about how wonderful it is to be in love in New York, and Kurt is a bit aghast.  He’s not looking for love, not really -- validation and happiness, sure.  But love is now a tainted concept -- both too heavy and too fast for Kurt right now, even if Rachel insists things move faster in the city.  (Though, she’s not really in love either, but again, she’s in denial.)  

And then Rachel crosses the street and I wait for a taxi cab to run her over.  Seriously - don’t stand in the middle of a NYC street and expect not to get run over. 

Phone Number

So -- Kurt’s waiting around for Adam.  And Adam’s been thinking about him (!!) and wanting to talk about Sondheim mash-ups, which, dude, totally leaves this an open chance for Kurt to ask him out.  And, awww, our sheepish Kurt gets over his obvious nerves and asks Adam out for coffee.  

Interestingly, this scene is sliced between Lauren and Sugar who are asking Joe and Artie, respectively, to dance.  The purpose here is about empowerment and seizing the opportunity when it arises, which all three of them do to success.  

Adam of course says yes -- and puts his number in Kurt’s phone.  And Kurt is bewildered and delighted.  Go Kurt - you accomplished what you wanted ;) 

(I’m slightly entertained that after Kurt asks Adam out, they cut to Blaine.  The editing in the second half of season 4 actually does this quite a bit.) 

But we now get to the issue I brought up before.  Why is this the end of the story?  What happens on that date? I want to know more!  Instead of the next step of the story seeing Kurt on that date and what happens -- we instead move to development in the Rachel/Brody story - which really had no build up prior in the episode.  For some reason, it’s like the writers wanted to touch upon this story (and throw it in with the girls’ empowerment stuff on the McKinley side) but not really go all the way with it.  Which is a shame, it’s far more interesting than Rachel/Brody.  

And speaking of Rachel/Brody -- Rachel’s going to ask Brody to move in without talking to Kurt about it first.  Not a cool roommate move, Rachel.  Not cool.