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scriptmedic · 3 years ago

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Mangled Mondays: Dislocated Shoulder

Dislocated Shoulder

Excerpted from Blood on the Page: A Writer's Compendium of Injuries, Section 1.4: Blunt Trauma > Appendages

Lethality Index

1/5

What Is It?

The human shoulder is a ball-and-socket joint between the glenoid (socket) and the head of the humerus (ball). Stabilized by muscles, tendons, and ligaments, the joint is fairly complicated. The scapula(shoulder blade) protects it at the rear; the acromion process at the top; and, in part, the clavicle (collarbone) at the front.

But the joint does have a weakness. A strong impact to the extended arm can essentially pop the ball out of the socket, known as a dislocation. (A partial dislocation is known as a subluxation.)

The most common – and least damaging – form of this injury is an anterior dislocation, when the head of the humerus pops forward out of the socket. As we’ll see, this is hardly benign and can involve fractures of the bones involved, but it’s certainly not as damaging as a posterior or inferior dislocation.

Therefore, it’s the anterior dislocation we’ll discuss here.

Clinical Signs:

· Deformity of the upper shoulder.

· Difficulty and pain trying to move the affected arm.

· Humeral head bulging under the skin.

Symptoms:

· Pain.

· Numbness and tingling in the arm, from the bone pressing against a nerve.

How Does It Happen?

There are a number of ways in which a shoulder can become dislocated, but the most common are when the character falls on outstretched arms or when the character suffers a blow to the shoulder with the arm extended.

These often occur in contact sports such as MMA (mixed martial arts) fighting, soccer, rugby, American football, or high-velocity sports such as motocross, cycling, and skiing.

Immediate Treatment

The primary treatment for a character with a dislocated shoulder is to sling and swathe the arm so that it’s tucked against the body, with the wrist across the chest and toward the opposite armpit. This can be done with a scarf, a large triangle bandage (“cravat”), a professional sling, or anything that can be improvised in the field.

Characters should receive the attention of a medical provider, but characters who have undergone reduction (relocation) of a dislocated shoulder will be familiar with the procedure. (Actually, there are a great many ways of reducing a shoulder; a few of the most popular are covered here.)

Definitive Treatment

Surgery / Hospitalization

Characters who have a shoulder reduced won’t require surgery or admission unless imaging determines a fracture; or if reduction in the ER is not possible due to (a) overmuscular upper body and/or (b) delayed presentation to ER, resulting in tight tendons and muscles impairing the physician’s efforts.

Emergency Department: Imaging

Characters with shoulder dislocations will have X-rays taken to ensure that there are no fractures of the glenoid or the humeral head. It’s possible, but unlikely, for these to happen in the process of the dislocation

Emergency Department: Sedation and Analgesia

There are two goals of sedation and analgesia in the ER.

The first goal is reduction of pain before, during, and after the procedure. Most of the pain of the dislocation will be eliminated when the shoulder is reduced, but not all of it.

The second is to reduce spasm of the muscles of the shoulder, which are fairly strong and can get in the way of reduction or make the procedure more difficult.

The simplest, and perhaps the most effective, way in which emergency providers can control pain is with a simple injection of lidocaine into the joint, which will numb the area, reduce pain, and cause the desired relaxation.

However, some providers will give a small dose of morphine and/or a small dose of a sedative like midazolam (Versed).

A low-dose infusion of ketamine can also be used, since it acts as both a sedative and an analgesic and is therefore an excellent single agent. This requires using an IV, whereas other methods are injected into the joint or can be used with oral medication.

However, a great many shoulders can be reduced without any pain medication at all, especially if the muscles haven’t had time to “freeze up” yet.

Emergency Department: Reduction

There are literally dozens of methods of reducing a dislocated shoulder, almost all of which are effective and well tolerated. (These do not include smashing the shoulder into any available wall; I’m looking at you, Lethal Weapon 2.) We’ll take a look at a few of them below, including what characters can do for themselves.

Kocher’s Method

The Kocher’s method of reducing the shoulder is a simple and straightforward one. It involves the provider helping the injured character tuck their elbow against their side with the elbow flexed and the forearm thus parallel to the floor.

The provider will then take the character’s affected wrist and move it laterally (away from the body) until there’s resistance. They’ll pull the elbow and upper arm forward a little bit, and then pull the wrist back across the body toward the opposite side.

The procedure takes less than a minute, and has a good success rate.

Cunningham Technique

This is perhaps the gentlest reduction technique around. The character is instructed to sit up comfortably, with their back fairly straight, and pull their shoulder blades together. The character will tuck the affected elbow against their body while the provider rests the character’s hand on their own elbow and supports the character’s elbow with their hand. The provider will then massage the trapezius, deltoid, and biceps with their free hand. As their thumb moves to the outside of the humeral head and toward the deltoid, they’ll gently nudge the humeral head back into the socket. This technique relies on relaxing the muscles rather than using any kind of force.

The Davos Technique

To perform this reduction technique, the character sits upright and flexes the hip and knee on the side of the dislocation. The character then clasps the fingers of both hands together around their flexed knee, or the provider will tie their wrists together with cravats or an elastic band.

(Can you say dramatic tension? Imagine the physician steps out of the room for a minute, and the villain walks in with the hero’s hands tied and their shoulder still out of place…)

Next, the provider sits on the patient’s foot to hold it stationary. The character is then told to relax their shoulder and arm muscles, let their head fall back, and let their shoulders roll forward with the arms extended. The humeral head should reduce.

In the Austere Environment

Because of its nature, a shoulder dislocation is quite easy to reduce in the field. There are risks and consequences if any of the relevant bones are broken, but the vast majority of shoulder dislocations don’t involve fractures.

Any of the above procedures should work quite well, but without strong analgesics, reducing the shoulder will take longer. The main thing getting in the way of reduction is muscle tension, so reductions should be fairly slow to prevent tightening.

Self-relocation

Sometimes a character will be on their own and won’t have the benefit of an assistant. In this case, they’ll need to help themselves.

The best bet is for the character to find some way of applying weight to their arm. The simplest way is for them to sit facing a doorknob and to grab it with their affected hand. (If they can tie their wrist to it that’s even better, since tension in the hand is part of the problem.) They’ll then lean back and support some of their weight with their arm. This may take several minutes, and isn’t always successful.

Another technique is for the character to reach up and behind the head, then reach for the opposite (“good”) shoulder. This should, theoretically, relocate the shoulder.

Neither of these techniques is foolproof or entirely likely to succeed, and the techniques will likely only be known to those who have dislocated their shoulders before.

However, most other techniques require a second person, and remember that this is fiction: outcomes are determined by what we want to have happen, not what might actually happen, so long as the act is relatively realistic.

The Rocky Road to Recovery

Capabilities Retained

Characters still have some use of their arm during the dislocation, including the hand and wrist, but won’t want to do much except hold their arm in place.

After the dislocation has been reduced, they will still have use of the hand, as well as all other limbs, neurocognitive function, etc.

Disabilities: Temporary

The shoulder that has been dislocated needs time in order to heal. Because of this, the character will need to keep the arm in a sling for at least one to two weeks (but more realistically, four). Failing to do so runs the risk of redislocation.

Disabilities: Permanent

Shoulder dislocations that don’t produce fractures almost never come with any permanent disabilities. However, it’s possible for the character to have damage to the nerves of the arm from either the dislocation or the reduction.

Features of Recovery: Hospital Stay

None.

Features of Recovery: PT/OT

Characters will need to strengthen their shoulder as it heals.

Initial therapy will aim to improve range of motion: raising the arm above the level of the shoulder, and rotating the elbow outward (elbow tucked against the chest, and wrist brought lateral to the body). After range of motion has returned, the goal becomes to strengthen the muscles.

Isometric strengthening:

The character will step up to a wall and almost touch it; they’ll push the thumb side of their wrist against the wall and press for 8–10 seconds. Next they’ll stand perpendicular to the wall and try to abduct their arm, meaning they’ll try to reach their arm out laterally to their body while pressing against the wall, again for 8-10 seconds. Next the character will bend their elbow so their lower arm is parallel to the floor. First they’ll try to externally rotate against the wall or doorway; then they’ll do the same for internal rotation (towards the opposite side of their body).

Weight training.

Characters who progress beyond isometric training will be encouraged to perform similar exercises with weights.

The first exercise will be to hold a weight – a can of soup works well – and will extend their arm laterally to the body and bring their hand toward shoulder height. Next they can lie on their side on the affected arm and hold the can or weight in front of them, and internally rotate the hand (toward the opposite hip).

The New Normal

Characters who completely recover from the injury will likely have no long-term consequences, though if they don’t stabilize their shoulder muscles with PT they may redislocate the arm.

Sometimes there will be some damage to the nerves of the shoulder, which may involve pain, numbness, and/or weakness both in the shoulder and down the arm. Again, physical therapy helps with these.

Future Risks

Your character will be at risk for redislocation of the same arm.

Total Recovery Time (Typical)

Sling: 1–4 weeks

Strength and flexibility:4–8 weeks

Sensory

Sights

The affected shoulder will look “off,” deformed. The humeral head may be visible under the skin, or the anterior aspects of the shoulder may simply look “out of place.”

Smells

None.

Sounds

Characters may hear an audible pop as the shoulder dislocates, and a pop or clunk may be audible as the shoulder relocates.

Sensations

As with sounds, the shoulder pops out and clunks back in. This may be audible only to the character with the dislocation, or may be audible to others too.

Medslang

A subluxation is something of an incomplete dislocation and is managed in the same way.

Abduction is movement away from the body in the same horizontal plane; that is, reaching out directly to the side.

Adduction is the opposite: bringing the body part back along the torso.

Internal rotation is rotation toward (and across) the body.

External rotation is rotation away from the body.

Anterior means forward (toward the front of the body), while posterior means backward or behind.

Reduction can refer to repositioning a dislocated or subluxated joint, or to bringing bone ends back to alignment in a fracture.

Key Points

· Shoulder dislocations are common, dramatic, and have few long-term complications; they are ideal for use in stories.

· Characters with shoulder dislocations might be able to set their own shoulders, but a second person is generally best.

· Setting the dislocation takes only a minute or two, but can be very painful; sudden movements are the enemy, as the goal is to relax the muscles, not tighten them.

· Characters will need a sling for 1-4 weeks (the younger, the longer) and will require PT to strengthen the stabilizer muscles after the fact.

#mangled mondays #masterposts #this post is not medical advice #this post is writing advice #shoulder injuries #dislocations

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frogtanii · 4 years ago

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It’s wind anon! (Imagine me as the screeching seagull meme) just pushing through the week. Getting the test out of my mind—it just sucks because there’s always this one test that I completely mess up on—and as someone who has to deal with all honors classes and my grades tend to be good, every time I fail to meet up to expectations my stress skyrockets. (Imagine a world where grades don’t matter and school is learning based rather than mark based...) Family pressures too—okay, wind anon is done ranting.

The update! The drama—I was there the moment it updated and I saw the comments rush in and I was laughing real hard.

But my reaction to the update!

Osamu POV :0!!! The insecurity... “all it did was remind him that he was alone”— I empathize because gosh, that is so real.

The attachment to Meiko though... his emotional state is on a very unstable tightrope. “Osamu had Meiko and he used to have Daichi and Iwaizumi...” that entire section has all my red flags raised. He’s going to completely break when everything comes out.

The loud clang startled me though. I was like “!!!” But it was our YN! Our kind, wonderful YN!! Trying to get snacks wwwwww.

Osamu thinking YN is cute :0 I be having a lot of thoughts about that but him squishing it down is fair. He considers himself to be in a committed relationship (though Meiko does not reciprocate and I am ready to fight regarding that) but I can respect his devotion (even if it is very misguided).

But. “After all, you were the reason Atsumu hated him now and never spoke to him anymore.” My gosh. What do I even say about this? Because the blame is entirely thrown off. I mean, you mentioned before Atsumu had a specific reason for believing in you over Meiko so I’m still waiting for that but Osamu is thinking something wrong but it’s a human action. It’s so easy to blame people to make yourself feel better. And your brain can do it without you realizing the depths of what has been thought.

Osamu being angry (!!!) and being a complete utter douche. YN literally just wanted a bag of chips and you’re here, crowding them in the pantry and being hostile. I don’t have much to say about it because he realized his mistake but by then he already stressed YN really badly and I am...(long sigh).

Atsumu to the rescue. We appreciate Atsumu very very much in this house. It really sucks that Osamu and Atsumu are confronting like this—I mean, Atsumu has been fighting a bit and Osamu had not really been listening to Atsumu on his own end prior to this confrontation so I’m...exhausted and a bit sad in the “It can’t be helped” kind of way.

“Osamu allowed him to, too in shock and ashamed to protest, much less fight back.” It couldn’t be helped considering how everything developed but...it still hurts my chest a bit, y’know? And then Osamu tries to apologize and I’m ready (so so ready) for them to communicate because they desperately need to—

But then Meiko comes in (I am...ready to throw stuff at her. Lots of stuff. Packing peanuts. All squeaky and annoying and bad for the environment just like she is—or something like that, I dunno, I’m half dead because I’m dealing with cramps rn) and all my wishes for them to finally have that much needed conversation where Osamu can finally break down and cry—all my wishes are turned to ash like.

(Angry Wind anon noises)

Meiko rubbing her makeup all over Osamu’s shirt like he is a rag. What in the... And her 4 inch heels please, I cannot, why, I can’t deal with this, I can’t, don’t make me get close to her because I’m like Yachi (stressed out of my mind). Please don’t do this to me. But yeah, Meiko with her poor makeup that doesn’t stay on her face. What the heck....

And Meiko’s scent... gross. Like, brown sugar, cute, nice, baked goods do smell really nice, (ever add a bunch of vanilla extract to a recipe? It like, perfumes around everywhere, it’s insane and wonderful) but chances are (because it’s Meiko), it’s overbearingly sweet. Chinese food (I do not trust her taste in Chinese food to be frank), I happen to come from a Chinese family, I have Chinese food for dinner like everyday, it would take a lot to be able to get that sort of scent on you. And I do mean a lot. And hairspray??? Chemical? I do not,,, I,,, Osamu, why would you breathe that in? It’s gonna be real bad for your lungs? And we already know Meiko smokes as well—your lung health, please value it—

And then the Suna entrance. Wonderfully done fr0ggy!

Final thoughts, I am very much projecting onto Yachi rn. Yachi has been in the house for less than a week and she already has to deal with this. The company should give her a raise. My gosh.

Anyway, might as well do a thoughts/headcanon thing because it’s been a while and my mind is still on gem/jewel stuff (so hope you don’t mind!)

Okay, so Kenma I think would go with a warm colored gemstone, and citrine would work well with him! “Protection against evil thoughts” because we know Meiko has ramped up is insecurity and lowered his self-esteem.

I mentioned this before last time but Sakusa is definitely onyx. That black is iconic, and “sharpening wit” would make sense with his grace for word play and snark.

Akaashi is an interesting one...I think sapphire. I mean, sapphire can have many colors besides the classic dark blue, so that’s one thing, but it’s known for “loyalty and a pledge of trust” which Akaashi gave. I think it’s suitable for him.

Suga...initially I was thinking pearl would match him in terms of appearance, but actually looking at my reference, turquoise would work really really well with him. “Protect from evil, maintain virtue, bring good luck”. Would work well.

For Atsumu and Osamu I wanted something that could represent their duality. My first thought was gold and silver. I mean, it’d fit in terms of appearance but I’m not sure that would be the best comparison. Gold doesn’t rust so it fits Atsumu who never fell for Meiko’s tricks. Silver has been said to vanquish dark/evil beings (vampires, werewolves, the classic silver bullets and stakes). It would be interesting to see if the comparison will apply to today’s update :D!

I like how my brain shut off and couldn’t remember anyone else for a second—anyway, Oikawa... every time I think of him, I want some hue of blue wwww. I guess Aquamarine “soothing influence” would work. Since he joined YN’s side, he has been able to see the big picture and be a voice of reason. He’s thoughtful and I think aquamarine which encourages long relationships is suitable because that is what he wanted. So yes, aquamarine.

Bokuto...is a tough one. I’m trying to still keep with their color schemes a bit. I think carnelian would work. “Health, luck, bold energy, warmth, joy”—it would represent him fine. It’s a bit more orange than I would prefer but it suits him so I think it’s okay.

Iwaizumi... emerald? I mean, he does suit green tones, and “rebirth, regeneration, new hope” would work just fine for him.

Right now my brain is complete mush and I can’t think of anything for Kuroo and Daichi. Like, Kuroo would be red, sure, but the more famous ruby/garnet I think don’t represent him fully because he is still rather contained. Hmm, would need to think about them more.

But I’d like your thoughts on this too :D!!

I wanna do something suitable for all colors for YN, so opal! YN has many different parts and colors and is overall a very vivid person—if you tilt opal, you see more and more faces and things underneath being brought into your eyes. YN may be seen from many different perspectives, but YN is always beautiful and amazing. So opal is what I think YN would be.

Anyway, I’ll end here :D! Need to eat lunch. Much love towards you fr0ggy! Make sure you eat and rest up too~ drink some water or any other fluid to hydrate! And keep warm too. Much love to all the fans and supporters and ask senders too! It’s really awesome seeing and hearing from all of you and seeing new faces with the old. Love the excitement and points you all bring up—makes my brain happy.

MAJDKD I NEED TO POST THE NEW CHAPTER BUT I HAD TO RESPOND TO THIS FIRST BESTIE ILY N I LOVE TUIS — I AM OBSESSED W THE CRYSTAL (??) STUFF??? IVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD IT BUT I THINK YOIVE EXPLAINED EACH GEM N WHY SO BEAUTIFULLY I AM IN LOVE W U KITH KITH UR SO LOVELY HAVE AN AMAZING DAY (sending u good vibes n anti-stress love >333)

#j’s asks #anons babey #℗ poker face #wind anon

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le-roi-des-bulgares · 4 years ago

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Voltaire writes back to Frederick...

... whom he hasn’t been in regular contact with for more or less four years.

Frederick had refused Voltaire’s asking for permission to go back to Potsdam in late 1753; avoided writing to him directly but let Abbé de Prades take up the correspondence; wrote and published a satirical ‘Portrait of M. de Voltaire’ in 1756.

Despite all the name-calling (fou, méchant, ~extraordinare~, etc.) to third parties, all the prayers to heaven that Voltaire never comes back, on Jan 19th 1757, Frederick wrote a ‘tender letter’ to Voltaire, days after Russia declared her entrance into the war.

At some point in summer 1757, with Frederick’s first major defeat at the Battle of Kolin, his mother’s death, the Prussian retreat from Bohemia, he fell into a deep depression (a haunting representation painted by Menzel) and meditated suicide. Either encouraged by Wilhelmine or voluntarily, he wrote to Voltaire, thus virtually reopened their regular correspondence.

The letter hasn't been found since (as the Jan 19th one, & many others from this period), but those survived still help construct a sense of it, as well as the brief personal warmth shown between Voltaire & Frederick - both said they couldn’t care less.

Here is a collection of some extracts which I like and hope can serve to paint this exchange of letters between F & V, with Wilhelmine as their mediator, in a somewhat clearer light. These are from letters written from July to December 1757 by Voltaire, Wilhelmine and Frederick. All originals are taken from Edition Garnier & Œuvres de Frédéric le Grand. Translations are mine. Emphasis in texts are made by me. my english and french are both not so good, but i try;; so feel free to critique my usage of words etc.!

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Frédéric au marquis d'Argens, (Leitmeritz), 19 juillet 1757.

Mon cher marquis, regardez-moi comme une muraille battue en brèche par l'infortune depuis deux ans. Je suis ébranlé de tous côtés. Malheurs domestiques, afflictions secrètes, malheurs publics, calamités qui s'apprêtent : voilà ma nourriture. Cependant ne pensez pas que je mollisse. Dussent tous les éléments périr, je me verrai ensevelir sous leurs débris avec le sang-froid dont je vous écris.

My dear marquis, see me as a wall breached by two years’ misfortunes. I am shaken on all sides. Domestic misfortunes, secret afflictions, public misfortunes, looming calamities: these are my food. Do not think that I have given away, however. Must that all elements perish, I will bury myself underneath their debris, with the cold-blood with which I am writing to you.

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[Frederic wrote to Voltaire at some point in mid-august 1757, sent to him at Les Delices in Geneva via Wilhelmine.]

De Margrave la Baireuth à Voltaire. Le 19 août.

Je suis dans un état affreux, et ne survivrai pas à la destruction de ma maison et de ma famille. C’est l’unique consolation qui me reste. Vous aurez de beaux sujets de tragédies à travailler. Ô temps ! ô mœurs ! Vous ferez peut-être verser des larmes par une représentation illusoire, tandis qu’on contemple d’un œil sec les malheurs de toute une maison contre laquelle, dans le fond, on n’a aucune plainte réelle.

I am in an awful state, and I will not survive my house and my family’s destruction. This is the only consolation left for me. You will have handsome subjects of tragedies to work on. O time! O morals! You will perhaps make tears pour down by an illusory representation, while people contemplate on the misfortunes of a whole house with a dry eye against that which, deep down, they do not have any real pity for.

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Voltaire à M. le Maréchal Duc de Richelieu. (a vous seul.) [Août 1757.]

Le roi de Prusse s’est remis à m’écrire avec quelque confiance. Il me mande qu’il est résolu de se tuer, s’il est sans ressource ; et madame la margrave sa sœur m’écrit qu’elle finira sa vie si le roi son frère finit la sienne.

The king of Prussia started to write to me with some trust again. He tells me that he resolved to kill himself if he is without resource; and madame la margrave his sister writes that she would end her life, if the king her brother ended his own.

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Voltaire à M. le Comte d’Argental. Aux Délices, 12 septembre.

Les affaires de ce roi, mon ancien disciple et mon ancien persécuteur, vont de mal en pis. Je ne sais si je vous ai fait part de la lettre qu’il m’a écrite il y a environ trois semaines : J’ai appris, dit-il, que vous vous étiez intéressé à mes succès et à mes malheurs ; il ne me reste qu’à vendre cher ma vie, etc., etc. Sa sœur, la margrave de Baireuth, m’en écrit une beaucoup plus lamentable.

Allons, ferme, mon cœur, point de faiblesse humaine.

The affairs of this king, my old disciple and my old persecutor, have gone from bad to worse. I do not know if I had told you about a letter that he wrote me about three weeks ago: I learned, said him, that you were interested in my successes and my misfortunes; it only remains to sell my life dearly, etc., etc. His sister, the margrave of Bayreuth, writes me a much more lamentable one.

Go, harden up, my heart, nothing of human weaknesses.

[note: the last line is a quote from Molière’s Tartuffe, Act IV, Scene III. vendre cher sa vie means to kill a number of enemies before one’s own death.]

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Voltaire à Madame la Margrave de Baireuth. Aux Délices, 29 août 1757.

Madame, j’ai été touché jusqu’aux larmes de la lettre dont Votre Altesse royale m’a honoré. [...] me sera-t-il permis de mettre sous votre protection cette lettre que j’ose écrire à Sa Majesté le roi votre frère ? [...] Je voudrais qu’il fût persuadé de son mérite personnel : il est au point que beaucoup de personnes de tout rang le respectent plus comme homme que comme roi. Qui doit sentir mieux que vous, madame, ce que c’est que d’être supérieure à sa naissance !

Madame, I was brought to tears by the letter Your Royal Highness honored me. [...] Will I be allowed to put this letter under your protection, which I dared write to His Majesty the king your brother? [...] I would like that he be persuaded of his personal merit: he is at a point where many people of all ranks respect him more as a man than as a king. Who would feel better than you, madame, what it is like to be superior to one's birth!

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Frédéric à la margrave de Baireuth, Naumbourg, 9 (septembre 1757).

Ma chère sœur, viens de recevoir votre lettre du 6, avec l'incluse de Voltaire. [...] Je vous prie de vous tranquilliser l'esprit; vos inquiétudes me sont précieuses, certainement j'y suis sensible, et je vous regarde comme le seul exemple d'amitié parfaite dans ce siècle corrompu; mais, en s'inquiétant, on ne change pas le destin, et dans des circonstances où l'on doit s'attendre à tout, il faut se préparer à tout événement.

My dear sister, [I] just received your letter of the 6th, with Voltaire's enclosed. [...] I beg you to reassure your mind; your worries are dear to me, certainly I am sensible of them, and I regard you as the only example of perfect friendship in this corrupted century; but, one does not change destiny by worrying, and in the circumstances where one must expect everything, we must prepare ourselves for all events.

[last time Frederick wrote ‘this corrupted century’ to Wilhelmine was in 1730, from Cüstrin.]

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La margrave de Baireuth à Frédéric, (15 septembre 1757)

[note that the letter F wrote to V, which Wilhelmine speaks of, was a reply to V’s late august response, likely dated around September 9th, sent in the same package to Wilhelmine.]

Mon très-cher frère, votre lettre et celle que vous avez écrite à Voltaire, mon cher frère, m'ont presque donné la mort. Quelles funestes résolutions, grand Dieu! Ah! mon cher frère, vous dites que vous m'aimez, et vous me plongez le poignard dans le cœur. [...]. Votre sort décidera du mien; je ne survivrai ni à vos infortunes, ni à celles de ma maison. Vous pouvez compter que c'est ma ferme résolution.

My dearest brother, your letter and that which you wrote to Voltaire, my dear brother, have almost made me dead. What fatal resolutions, great God! Ah! my dear brother, you say that you love me, and you plunge a dagger into my heart. [...] Your fate will decide my own; I will survive neither your misfortunes, nor those of my house. You can count on this being my firm resolution.

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Voltaire à Frédéric. Octobre 1757.

[...]; je vous ai appartenu, mon cœur vous appartiendra toujours.

[...]; I belonged to you, my heart will always belong to you.

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Voltaire à Frédéric. Octobre 1757.

Vous voulez mourir ; je ne vous parle pas ici de l’horreur douloureuse que ce dessein m’inspire.[...] Écoutez contre ces sentiments votre raison supérieure ; elle vous dit que vous n’êtes point humilié, et que vous ne pouvez l’être ; elle vous dit qu’étant homme comme un autre, il vous restera (quelque chose qui arrive) tout ce qui peut rendre les autres hommes heureux : biens, dignités, amis.

[...] Je suis bientôt dans ma soixante et cinquième année, je suis né infirme ; je n’ai qu’un moment à vivre ; j’ai été bien malheureux, vous le savez ; mais je mourrais heureux, si je vous laissais sur la terre mettant en pratique ce que vous avez si souvent écrit.

You want to die; I do not speak to you here of the painful horror this plan inspires in me. [...] Listen to your superior reason against these sentiments; it [would] tell you that you are not at all humiliated, that you cannot be; it would tell you that being a man, like any other, there would remain for you (whatever happens) all those things which can make other men happy: possessions, dignities, friends.

[...] soon I will be in my sixty-fifth year, I was born to be sick; I only have a moment [more] to live; I have been very unhappy, you know that; but I would die happy, if I left you on earth putting what you had so often written into practice.

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Frédéric à la margrave de Baireuth, Buttelstedt, 8 octobre 1757

J'ai ri des exhortations du patriarche Voltaire; je prends la liberté de vous envoyer ma réponse. Quant au stoïcisme, je crois en avoir plus que lui, et quant à la façon de penser, il pense en poëte, et moi comme cela me convient dans le poste où le hasard de la naissance m'a placé.

I laughed at the exhortations of Voltaire the patriarch; I take the liberty to send you my response. As for stoicism, I believe myself to have more than he does, and as for the way of thinking, he thinks in poet, and I think as suited to the post which the accident of birth placed me in.

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Frédéric à Voltaire, (Buttstedt) 9 octobre 1757.

Croyez que si j'étais Voltaire, Et particulier comme lui, Me contentant du nécessaire, Je verrais voltiger la fortune légère, Et m'en moquerais aujourd'hui. [...]

Believe me, if I was Voltaire, /and private person like him, /content with necessities, /I would see frivolous fortune flutter, /and make fun of it right at this moment.

[you send him an epistle, and say he thinks like a poet. fair enough]

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La Margrave de Baireuth à Voltaire. Le 16 Octobre.

Accablée par les maux de l’esprit et du corps, je ne puis vous écrire qu’une petite lettre. Vous en trouverez une ci-jointe qui vous récompensera au centuple de ma brièveté. Notre situation est toujours la même : un tombeau fait notre point de vue. Quoique tout semble perdu, il nous reste des choses qu’on ne pourra nous enlever : c’est la fermeté et les sentiments du cœur.

Overwhelmed by the ills of mind and body, I can only write you a little letter. You will find one enclosed [Frederick's letter from Oct 9th] which will reward you a hundred times more than my brevity. Our situation is always the same: a tomb makes our destination. Although all seems lost, there still remains for us things which cannot be taken away: firmness and sentiments of the heart.

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[Frederick won the Battle of Rossbach on November 5]

Voltaire à M. le comte d'Argental. Au Délices, 19 novembre.

[...] Luc n’avait pas vingt-cinq mille hommes, encore étaient-ils harassés de marches et de contre-marches. Il se croyait perdu sans ressource, il y a un mois ; et si bien, si complètement perdu, qu’il me l’avait écrit ; et c’est dans ces circonstances qu’il détruit une armée de cinquante mille hommes. Quelle honte pour notre nation !

Luc had no more than twenty-five thousand men, also they were exhausted by marches and counter-marches. He believed himself to be lost without resources a month ago; and so wholly, so completely lost, as he wrote to me; and it's under these circumstances that he destroyed an army of fifty thousand men. What shame for our nation!

[Luc: cul: ass. i.e. Frederick.]

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Voltaire à M. le comte d'Argental. 2 décembre.

Serait-il possible qu’on eût imaginé que je m’intéresse au roi de Prusse ? J’en suis pardieu bien loin. Il n’y a mortel au monde qui fasse plus de vœux pour le succès des mesures présentes. J’ai goûté la vengeance de consoler un roi qui m’avait maltraité ; il n’a tenu qu’à M. de Soubise que je le consolasse davantage.

Is it possible that people imagined I am interested in the king of Prussia? Good lord, I am very far from that. There is no mortal in the world who wishes more for success for the present situations [of France]. I tasted vengeance by consoling a king who had mistreated me; it only depends on M. de Soubise that I console him more.

[if we make him cry more i get to hug him more. O sweet vengeance!]

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[Frederick won the Battle of Leuthen on December 5]

Voltaire à M. le comte d'Argental. Lausanne, 20 décembre, au soir.

Quand les Prussiens tuent tant de monde, il faut bien aussi que je vous assassine de lettres, mon cher ange. Il est difficile que vous ayez su plus tôt que nous autres Suisses la nouvelle victoire du roi de Prusse, près de Neumarck en Silésie. Ce diable de Salomon est un terrible Philistin. La renommée le dit déjà dans Breslau ; mais il ne faut pas croire toujours la renommée.

When the Prussians are killing so many people, I must also assassinate you with letters, my dear angel. It is difficult for you to know sooner than us Swiss, about the new victory of the king of Prussia, near Neumarck in Silesia. This devil of a Solomon is a terrible Philistine. Legend says he is already in Breslau; but legend must not always be believed.

[in the 18th century philistine is perhaps used to say someone is merciless & bloodthirsty.]

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I had chosen not to include a sub-plot in which Voltaire tried to connect Marechal de Richelieu with Frederick to negotiate peace between France and Prussia - which was fruitless.

#long post #fritztaire #Wilhelmine of prussia #w威廉明娜真的倒霉要给这两个人当中介 #and she was visibly distressed #which must've struck a hard blow on her health #:(

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badboys-imagines · 5 years ago

Text

My neighbor

PART V

A/N : Hope you’ll like this chapter ♥ 🌝

Pairing : Henry Cavill x Reader

Summary : You move into the house of your dreams. It all seems like a fairytale, until you meet your neighbor, Mr. Cavill…

PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV | PART V

The building was filled with loud voices and sounds of people frantically typing when you rushed to the Human Resources office. The door was open.

A well-built man turned to you, a folder in his hands,

"Come in, Miss Y/L/N" he mumbled, “I was finishing your evaluation."

Hair still wet and messy, you panted,

"Thank you, sir."

Raising his head from the documents, Mathias smiled,

"Call me Mat', will you ?" he chuckled softly and pointed the seat in front of his desk, "Sit."

Body still shaking, you sat into the chair and he kept gazing at you for a moment,

"Your profile is very interesting." he stated, "Need more time to get ready in the morning ?" he asked, glancing at your bun.

Oh, shit.

For a moment, you wondered which was messier, your life or your hair.

"I apologize, si...-Mat’. I had a serious issue with my new neighbor..."

"None of that with me, Y/L/N." he chuckled, "I was just joking. One thing you need to know, you can be late, work from home, the boss don’t care as long as you do your job."

Nodding quickly, you silently cursed Cavill. Damn him. Thank god, Mat’ seemed to be in a soft mood.

"Well, now you're here, we need a good article for tonight, something entertaining. Do you think you can do that ? Like a fight, a violent altercation. Anything spicy."

"Of course, I'll figure something out." you nodded with a smile.

Sighing in relief, you sat at your new desk, closing your eyes as you recollected yourself. You’d been lucky. So. Freaking. Lucky.

"Hey there !" a friendly masculine voice caused you to open your eyes, "I'm your neighbor. I mean, kind of, our desks are side by side."

Oh God, no more neighbor for today, please.

Andres was a tall, blond-haired man. It was the first time you met him. He handed you a coffee, his wide smile and happy face contagious,

"Thanks ! Nice to meet you, I'm Y/N/."

"I know, I... read your badge."

"Oh," you chuckled, "and you are... Andres." you said as you read the name on his own badge.

You both nodded and smiled awkwardly, until a tall woman walked into the room, causing everyone to look back at their screens and papers. Andres leaned in and whispered,

“This is Erin. Big boss.”

Erin scanned the room and as soon as her eyes found you, she walked in your direction.

“Hello, Y/N. Welcome to Nova Times. I’m Erin.”

There was something very sweet in her smile. It made you feel immediately at ease and you shook her hand.

“Nice to meet you. I can’t wait to start working on my first article.”

“Did Mathias give you a lead ?”

“Yes, he did. I’m sure I can finish today.”

“Great. I hope you’ll feel comfortable here.” she said, pointing your desk, “If you need anything, I’ll be in my office, alright ?”

So, yeah. It was even better than what you expected. Surprisingly, it felt way less oppressing than your previous job.

Your boss was friendly, the environment seemed nice. Plus, Andres was really hot.

When you finally left the building, it was already late and you’d been talking with him non-stop for an hour. He walked you home and you both took your time, enough for you to tell him about Mr Chaos.

“You just call him like that ?” Andres asked.

"Yeah, well that’s because he’s always acting indecently when all I’m trying to do is keep calm. It seems like his two moods are just... glitter and death, you know."

Andres laughed,

"What's his name again ?"

You hadn't told him and were about to do so, but you noticed your house in the distance,

"Oh, this is me." you smiled, stopping in front of him.

Andres plunged his eyes into yours, and you thought it was the moment when two characters kiss in books. There was a chemistry between you both, you couldn’t deny it. So when he leaned in, you glanced at his lips, willing to do it, to kiss him.

Yes, Y/N.

Do it.

But as soon as you looked at him, an image came to your mind, like a spell, something moving under your skin. Heart beating fast, you moved back.

Henry’s eyes were haunting you.

Fuck.

"I-I'm sorry." Andres stuttered, realizing his mistake, “It was so inappropriate, I thought...”

"No ! No, it wasn’t. It’s not you. You thought right." you assured him, "I guess I'm still shook by all the changes in my life. I just need some time. But I really enjoyed walking with you. You know what, how about we walk to work together, tomorrow morning ?"

Not an ounce of resentment in his eyes, Andres smiled shyly, burying his hands in his pockets,

"Tomorrow morning, then. Good night, Y/N. I'm glad we spent this moment together. If you're in trouble, just call me." he said, referring to your neighbor.

What was happening to you ? He was probably the cutest guy you’d met in years and yet... you just couldn’t take Henry out of your head.

Dragging your feet toward the door, you noticed the window was slightly open. Even though you didn't make a sound, your cat ran to you, meows and purrs breaking the silence as you entered your house.

"Oh, poor kitty, I'm sorry for this morning hon'..." you took her into your arms and made your way to the kitchen, pouring some cat food into a plate. "Here you go..."

"This cat is a liar,” you heard Henry grumble behind you, “I fed her, twice. She's going to die from a heart attack, like the average over-eating American she is." Henry glanced down at the furry ball, “I'm serious pal', you're going to die.”

Straightening up, you were now facing Henry as he brushed his fingers through his dark hair. This time though, he gave you an apologetic gaze,

"Sorry. Didn't mean that." he risked, "I just... I did feed your cat this morning. After all."

Without a word, you shrugged him off and turned your back to him to open the fridge. Here and there, you found his food and barely managed to know what was yours or his.

"What are you doing ?" he asked, his tone softer.

"Avoiding."

"Avoiding what ?"

"You. Everything."

You heard him sigh and he moved closer to you, heading toward the fridge where you were still trying to figure out what to cook. His voice echoed in your ear, so close it vibrated against your skin,

"This is mine,” he said, his arm plunging into the depths of the fridge, “this is yours... Oh, no. These are mine too." he said as he grabbed a box, causing you to gasp,

"No, the tomatoes are mine." you groaned, trying to get your food back.

Pulling hard on the package, you wouldn't surrender, but your hands slipped, letting go of the precious tomatoes and your body was thrown back. Henry caught you just in time, an arm snaking around your waist, the other still holding the vegetables. The tickling, almost stinging sensation made your skin burn again and your stomach clenched deliciously. Rather amused by your reactions, Henry gave you a questioning look,

"I thought you were avoiding."

Without hesitation, you hit his chest with the palm of your hand.

"Asshole."

"I'm getting used to this one." he uttered, releasing his embrace.

You placed a strand of your hair back behind your ear and Henry made a face,

"Let's order something."

"Yeah, let's do this."

Henry mechanically called the closest Chinese restaurant and you both moved to the living room. Sprawling on the couch, you closed your eyes for a moment. The sound of Henry’s typing on his computer lulled you and you started to drift off.

"I know you like being carried to bed, but..." he started and you opened an eye, ready to spit another homemade insult, but a knock on the door kept you from talking.

"Food's here !" you squealed.

It was still hot, and you were terribly hungry.

You sat down on the couch with your precious ramen and opened the box. This time, your stomach was twisting, because it was craving food.

Henry eventually came next to you, searching the bag. He leaned back into the couch and started eating silently. You looked up at him. Nope, you weren’t going to talk first.

"Had a good day ?" he tried, causing you to shrug. After a moment, his dark gaze settled on you and Henry grumbled, "I fed your cat, I swear to God I did. She didn’t stop cooing and purring after that."

Yeah, that sounded like your cat. And yet, you weren’t going to forgive him so easily.

"I got it. Not going to talk." he nodded and paused, "I saw you by the window, with Ken."

You flushed.

He'd seen you ?

You wanted to answer so hard, but there was plenty of food in your mouth and Henry kept going,

"Hm. Not to dictate your life, but drop the shitty boyfriend."

Choking on your noodles, you brought a hand to your mouth. Now, it didn't matter how much food was stuck between your teeth,

"Fuck you !" you mumbled, hiding your lips with your fingers, "You don't know anything about him. His name is Andres, and you're a judgmental ass."

Henry glanced at his food and took a few bites,

"Maybe, but I'm being honest with you, am I not ?"

"Honest ? You’re being a dick ! Andres is nice. This morning was terrible. I got late because of you ! You know what, Andres is the nicest person I've met so far. He's not arrogant, nor pretentious. Our little talk was relaxing." you paused, "After this evening with him, I can't stop thinking and... I'm amazed at how caring some people can be, and at how insignificant we are."

You looked away for a while, lost in your thoughts. Meanwhile, Henry raised an eyebrow and shook his head,

"Not me, I'm important."

It burst your dreamy bubble at once and you narrowed your eyes at him. This man couldn’t stop. Calmly, you put your empty box on the table.

"Henry, do you know how we make someone kind and holy, like Andres ?"

Seriousness writ on his features, a suspicious frown appeared on his forehead,

"Well, I don't know. Probably by cutting off their testicles."

Oh hell.

"You have to beat the hell out of them." you growled and suddenly, your fists hit his chest, causing him to cough in surprise.

In a desperate attempt to defend himself, Henry dropped his box and grabbed your wrists.

"Stop it Y/N !" he stifled, struggling to push you back.

Panting, you started laughing. The tension you’d kept all day long slowly faded away as you giggled, trying to reach his chest with your hands. Without warning, you pushed hard with your whole body and Henry fell on his back.

Out of breath, you plunged your eyes into his deep blue ones, hands still pressing against his strong arms,

"So, you still think Andres is a dumbass ? Because I can do this all night." you uttered.

Damn it Y/N. All night ?

Not releasing his grip around your wrists, Henry suddenly stopped putting efforts into lifting you above him. In seconds, his demeanor went from the grumpy neighbor who pissed you off, to a worked up, soft but still dominating version of himself.

Slowly, you felt your chest pressing against his torso, then your legs intertwining with his. The slight movement, paired with the fire in his eyes was making you squeeze your legs together.

Your heart dropped to your stomach. You looked away for a split second, realizing your lips were only inches away from his, but then his eyes locked on yours.

The look he was giving you could have melted iron. Damn it. He knew exactly what he was doing.

Yes, just looked at you, his face emotionless but stern, studying you closely. He was driving you crazy, edging you on, and still giving you that stupid look.

This was exactly what you craved.

The way his fingers grazed lightly against your skin radiated this dominant energy despite the fact that you were on top. He had a way of making you feel like all of you couldn’t escape him. No matter what.

Heart still pounding, you blinked in confusion. You didn’t know when or how, but your mouth opened,

"You don't know anything Hen’,” you whispered, “you just act like it."

You saw his eyes flutter and his tongue slipped against his soft lips as he held your gaze, making it even more difficult to resist. His warm breath crashed near your lips and he released a low “Hm” of resignation.

The grip on your wrists loosened into a soft touch, setting you free.

God, you wanted to kiss him.

Every gear started turning into your head and you forced yourself to come back to your senses,

"If you ever feel stupid, or powerless..." you whispered, still hovering over him, "Remember that I'm not."

With that, you moved back and jumped on your feet, leaving him lying here, breathless.

Henry freaking Cavill would never have you.

Little did you know that he liked challenges.

* Italic means your tag isn’t working

My Neighbor Tag list : @boiled-onionrings , @sheanaghgoldenheartblog,@allnewimaginecharliehunnam , @drewmcintyreinarefereeoutfit , @mc225g , @supernaturalvikingwhore, @the-nerdy-lock, @devilbat , @heelsamizayn , @wolfiepirate , @the-marvelatic , @holychic , @avengergirl130 , @laurakasus , @maia-hocane , @sarahdangerfieldd, @jocelynscloset, @marycampbellxxx, @kathhdd, @barikawho, @elisewithak, @redrxbel, @lazyladyworld, @the-marvelatic, @comfortingcreature, @jesseswartzwelder, @mxtchbyx, @sea-rtina, @comfortingcreature

Tag list Henry / Geralt : @d14n4ol, @alwayshave-faith, @marycampbellxxx, @wolfyandy, @dirty--heart

Tag list * Geralt of Rivia : @emmalbg , @the-nerdy-lock

Everything tag list : @darling-loki, @hufflepuff-flufflepuff, @medussaurora, @addyliners, @lokilvrr, the-marvelatic, @jesseswartzwelder

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imagine-lcorp · 6 years ago

Text

Mustang Ride (Part X)

A/N: Hello dear beans, how are all of you doing? I’m just here posting another part of this series. I hope you enjoy it and let me know if you like it. As always, thank you all for reading my shit, I love you <3<3 never change.

Lena Luthor x Shapeshifter Reader//Word Count: 1, 251

#Mustang Ride: Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV - Part V - Part VI - Part VII - Part VIII - Part IX - Part X - Part XI (WIP)

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You had no idea how much time had passed when you came back to consciousness. The sedative had started to lose its effect again but you could still feel your brain thundering against your skull, your dry mouth and burning eyes. You could barely move and it could have almost passed as a hangover, were it not for all the fuss going around you.

"What the..." You tried opening your eyes but closed them as the light above you was too bright.

"Looks like someone is waking up." A stern voice near you said.

You turned your face towards it. It was strangely familiar and you knew you had to fear it but your mind was still a few moments behind your senses.

"Just in time." A deeper voice followed.

When you finally opened your eyes it all looked so different and so familiar at the same time. You were not connected to any wires or tubes anymore, the cardiac monitor was missing and the room was bigger and illuminated. However, you were still lying in a hospital bed with restrains on your wrists and ankles, a tray of large syringes near you and, this time, you were wearing a hospital gown. You looked around. Roulette was nowhere to be seen but you had been right. That was a voice you had to fear.

Lillian approached you with Henshaw and man in a white coat following behind.

"Shall we begin with the procedure?" Henshaw moved to the other side of your bed.

"In just a minute. I need to have some words with ma petite bête here." You flinched as she spoke. "Isn't that what they called you in the ring? The Beast?"

"No one calls me that anymore." You responded trying to clear your throat.

"Oh, yes. Your days on the ring were over when Supergirl rescued you from Roulette's last party, or so I heard." She stood near the bed, covering the light coming from the lamp above you, and looking at you. "Wouldn't it be a shame if you returned to that cage?"

"If Roulette wanted me back she wouldn't need you." The fog in your mind was clearing.

"Seems like my daughter may have taught you a couple of things." Lillian smiled. "You're right, Roulette doesn't need me for that. I couldn't care less about her petty shows but they have turned to be... a suitable environment for testing."

"You brought me back so you could test me?" You furrowed your eyebrows.

"Test you? No, we already know what you're capable of doing in that cage. Here, you'll help us with some samples."

"We should start now, before the sedative wears off completely." Henshaw remarked.

"Of course." Lillian smiled once again and took a couple of steps back. "Prepare everything."

"What kind of samples?" You managed to ask before Henshaw took off the restrains on your right wrist and ankle, and moved you so you were lying on your left side.

Lillian took the restrains securing them on the side rail while the man in the white coat moved around towards the tray of syringes. Without saying a word, he took one and moved around the bed again, standing behind your back. Whatever they planned to do they were going to do it whether you wanted it or not.

A grunt escaped your lips. You may have been more awake but you didn't have any way to escape and fighting them in this state was impossible.

"Of whatever it is we need, of course." Lillian told you with that wicked smile.

She motioned to the man behind you and that was the last thing you saw her do before you felt the syringe slowly moving through your spine.

The scream made Lena open her eyes in a second.

"Lena!" She was still in bed when she heard Winn's voice echoing through the halls. He arrived in a rush at the rest room door, where Lena had tried to sleep with no success and called for her. "Lena, quick! You need to come."

"What is it? Did you found (Y/N)?" She turned on the bed, looking at Winn with hopeful eyes.

"Not yet, but we found something you need to see."

Usually she would have taken a few moments to ready herself, put her hair on place, to stretch and clean her face, but that was all forgotten as she jumped out of the bed and followed Winn, like her life depended on it.

"Look, I know I was the one that suggested we should take a break but..." He started to explain on the way to the labs. "The autopsy result arrived a minute later after you left, and Alex and I decided to take a look at them."

"Winn, what did you find?" Lena said almost frantic.

"It's better if she explains it."

Alex was already in the lab when they arrived and she looked just as tired.

"Got any sleep?" Alex asked Lena.

"Barely." She responded. "What about you?"

"Not much."

Alex had stayed up with Winn after their conversation in the control room. While she had sent Lena to sleep, the autopsy result from the labs had arrived and they couldn't seem to stop working. Besides, Alex knew Lena wouldn't get any real rest until she knew what had happened to you and she was going to make sure that happened as quickly as possible. Even if she didn't get any sleep either.

"What is it?" Lena asked immediately as she watched Winn move across the room and type something on the main computer.

Models of DNA sequences filled the screen and Lena took a few steps closer to have a better look at what they were showing.

"DNA test results?" Lena frowned. "Are these from-?"

"Our animal trio that went crazy on the cell block? Yeah." Winn added.

"We decided to take a look at the autopsy reports before we did the same." Alex took some folders from the desk and handed them to Lena.

The reports of each subject detailed the lesions found in their bodies, Lena noted most of those lesions were accompanied by the presence of "animal tissue", and the three subjects presented lumbar punctures. The summary finally indicated the most probable cause of death had been by septic shock, a severe and abrupt malfunction in the organs caused by an infection in the bloodstream accelerated by the involuntary transformation of the subjects.

"Blood infection? Do we know what caused it?" Lena prompted as she passed the pages looking for a clarification.

"We may have an idea." Alex walked to the screens. "Okay, these are the genetic sequences of the subjects. However, these are not normal sequences as they don't fully match the elements of human DNA. Then Winn gave me another idea."

"We compared the sequences with animal DNA." He explained as he moved to another computer, showing what he had done. "Specifically, DNA from three species."

"Bear, rhinoceros, and python." Lena couldn't take her eyes off the screen as Winn showed everything in the screens. "Did they match?"

"Not completely but close enough. There seemed to be something still missing so we decided to take a look at some DNA we already know could be more than just...human." Alex sighed as Winn made a new DNA sequence appear in the main computer. "Do you recognize this one?"

Lena shook her head no and Alex looked at her with a seriousness she had never seen before.

"That's (Y/N)'s DNA."

#mustang ride #mustang ride series #lena luthor #lena luthor imagine #lena luthor imagines #lena x reader #lena luthor x reader #lena x you #lena luthor x you #shapeshifter #Shapeshifter!Reader #shapeshifter reader

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laughingpinecone · 4 years ago

Text

Press Start letter

I am laughingpineapple on AO3

It’s a long list of character combos so the specific requests aren’t overly detailed, please draw at will from my general likes and general fandom likes in addition or as an alternative to any of those!

All requests are art or fic - for art, the stuff I like is the kind that depicts the characters doing something. I’ll always be happier with a very simple drawing of two characters walking together or sharing a cup of coffee than with an ambitious composition that looks like an Avengers poster. I also enjoy seeing them wear different clothes, getting a feel of what their fashion sense is like beyond their canon outfit(s).

Likes: worldbuilding, slice of life (especially if the event the fic focuses on is made up but canon-specific), missing moments, 5+1 and similar formats, bonding and emotional support/intimacy, physical intimacy, lingering touches, loyalty, casefic, surrealism, magical realism, established relationships, future fic, hurt/comfort or just comfort from the ample canon hurt, throwing characters into non-canon environments, banter, functional relationships between dysfunctional individuals, unexplained mysteries, bittersweet moods, journal/epistolary fic, dreams and memories and identities, canon-adjacent tropey plots, outsider POV, UST, resolved UST, exploration of secondary bits of canon, leaning on the uniqueness of the canon setting/mood, found families, characters reuniting after a long and/or harrowing time, friends-to-lovers, road trips, maps, mutual pining, cuddling, wintry moods, the feeling of flannel and other fabrics, ridiculous concepts played straight, sensory details, sickfic, places being haunted, people being haunted, the mystery of the woods, small hopes in bleak worlds, electricity, places that don’t quite add up, mismatched memories, caves and deep places, distant city lights at night, emphasis on non-human traits of non-human characters (gen-wise, but also a hearty yes xeno for applicable ships)

Cool with: any tense, any pov, any rating, plotty, not plotty, IF, nerdy canon references, unrequested characters popping up

DNW: non-canonical rape, non-canonical children, focus on children, unrequested ships (background established canon couples are okay, mentions of parents are okay), canon retellings, consent issues

Dark Souls

I’m only familiar with the first game+DLC! It’s probably relevant to mention that I think that linking the fire is kind of a dumbass move and Gwyn is an ass, but on the other hand Kaathe has his own agenda and there’s no winning move in this world, or at least no obvious one. Feel free to deviate from anyone’s canon endings, to make things happen that’ll stave off their hollowing. I am interested in any of these people meeting and possibly striking up a friendship, and also in exploring Lordran’s temporal/dimensional fuckery, where it’s possible to meet people who have been gone for ages…

Group: Solaire of Astora & Siegmeyer of Catarina: so much fanart of Sun Bro & Onion Bro being bros, so little fic. And yet, the potential! How’d they bounce off each other, what about the fact that Siegmeyer is apparently a proper Catarina knight after all while Solaire just painted his self-made insignia and left, what would Sieg think of Solaire’s quest?

Group: Alvina the Cat & Sieglinde of Catarina: dunno, kitty. I love them both and I want everyone cool to go on adventure with each other. What’s left for Alvina now that Sif is gone, Artorias’ grave desecrated? For her part, did Sieglinde, you know, (mimics Ash Lake)?

Ghost Trick

I am very interested in various characters finding about the erased timeline, but not getting their memories back, and having to live with being told about what they did but never remembering it. Exploring the ghost lore is great. All what-ifs welcome (what if they managed an acceptable happy ending but didn’t reset the timeline, what if a different party went back to the past and kept their memories, what if Alma’s ghost stuck around…) Also open to AUs here, especially for generic fantasy or sci-fi settings or the Final Fantasy ones I prompted last Yuletide.

For the non-canon sides of Jowd/Alma/Cabanela, please no infidelity? I’d be good with either setting the fic during the game timeline or some what-if thereof when the other spouse is dead or unavailable, or simply keeping them offscreen and not mentioning them (eg Alma/Cabanela beach day, Jowd/Cabanela precinct shenanigans)

For Jowd in general, I do love my big boy and enjoy milking that size difference for all it’s worth. In gen contexts too, it’s neat. him big.

Group: Jowd & Yomiel: I’d love to read about the intimate understanding that comes from their shared memories and the horrors they’ve mutually forgiven (and a penchant for morbidity they’ve gained from such horrors probably). Cat dads things welcome.

Group: Alma/Jowd/Cabanela: maybe once Alma and Jowd have figured out he’s smitten and that they do in fact reciprocate... they tease him to death, slowly and deliberately? Is it even a Jowd romance if there’s not an exhausting amount of teasing involved, I ask?

Group: Alma/Jowd & Cabanela: Cabs’ life is wild; his best friends’ home is a safe haven...

Group: Emma & Pigeon Man: Emma’s unsuspected beta reader...

Group: Alma/Cabanela: (taps mic) legs. And fashion!

Group: Cabanela/Jowd: a recent tumblr post made a convincing argument for Cabs liking to be in charge (the argument is just pointing at Cabanela, honestly). Jowd is... agreeable, by his own admission. But is it that simple?

Kentucky Route Zero

I love the ending and I’d love to see its themes and setting explored. I’m all for exploration of any of the game’s themes and for including any staples from adjacent genres - wanna go full-on American Gothic? Dip into surrealism? Take a leaf from Twin Peaks with tulpa / split narratives to explore the characters’ issues? I love AUs so that’s an option too. Or of course there’s Xanadu at the height of its glory, an infinite what-ifs generator. Were the requested characters part of it, what were their digital counterparts up to? A Xanadu narrative would be great! I’d also love to hear about any new spot along the Zero or the Echo river, or an expansion of some place that’s only mentioned by Will in HATATE or only gets a few paragraphs of text. Mostly, I just love all these characters so much and I’m going through the tagset’s options like a hyperactive cat. Any fragment of their lives will make me happy.

Group: Shannon Márquez & Conway & Conway's Dog: does Shannon get to see them after the ending? Even for a moment?

Group: Lula Chamberlain/Joseph Wheattree/Donald: so Lula went back to Mexico. Joseph is pensive. Did the events of the night shake up Donald, or what will it take?

Group: Junebug & Lula Chamberlain: artists! Outspoken... artists... with a complicated personality. Put them in the same room and...?

Group: Junebug & Johnny: where’s the strangest place they played in, and what did Johnny find there?

Group: Conway & Johnny & Junebug (Kentucky Route Zero): their story is about finding individuality, his is about succumbing and losing it. Would any of them pick up on this mid-Act IV? Or just... talking about limbs and stuff?

Group: Cate & Will & Shannon Márquez (Kentucky Route Zero): a few months later, Shannon finds herself on the Mucky Mammoth again...

Group: Carrington & Weaver Márquez & Shannon Márquez (Kentucky Route Zero): maybe the cousins were trying to bond or reminisce or whatever and Carrington dive-bombed into the conversation, but in the end it was an enriching experience... of sorts?

Group: Carrington & Lula Chamberlain (Kentucky Route Zero): I don’t usually look for college shenanigans but this may be the exception? Or Art Opinions?

Group: Carrington & Clara (Kentucky Route Zero): would she even... get a word in? Maybe with the right topic?

Group: Carrington & Cate & Will (Kentucky Route Zero): Mammoth life! ...what does theater have to say about mushrooms again?

Group: Shannon Marquez & Weaver Marquez (Kentucky Route Zero): at the end of it all, Weaver was waiting. After this end, they can stand side by side again...

Group: Emily & Ben & Bob (Kentucky Route Zero): so what does it mean, like, poetically, that they were temporally displaced and Act I is in their future from Act V? Is it possible they were not aware of it?

Mutazione

The island, the sense of community, newcomers joining the community, gardens and music... I love the mood of this little game. Got ideas for some part of the island we haven’t seen? What stories do they tell each other about Moon Dragon and the first days of the new life it brought? The plants encyclopaedia was great - do Yoké’s archives hide some other cool tome? Please, if Graubert is mentioned, I would much prefer a sympathetic portrayal - he’s got his issues but I felt that the game was much harder on him than anyone else.

Group: Yoké & Karoo: I love the friendship between Yoké and Nonno and filtering it through Karoo feels even cooler to me. When did the big spooky bird first visit, did Yoké know or perceive what was going on?

Group: Yoké & Claire: book club book club book club!

Group: Spike/Claire: they’re so cute! Dinner at Mori’s? Swimming together?

Group: Nonno & Spike: I love Nonno’s role in the community and Spike’s role in the community, and they’re the two people who landed there and decided to stay. Could they bond over this?

Group: Dennis & Nonno: Important Tree Health Business!

Group: Bopek & Jell-A: Jell-A is the absolute coolest and Bopek grew on me a lot. Their friendship is adorable! What could they do together? As a side note, Jell-A’s place has the tightest interior decor in the whole game. How’d that happen, and does Bopek get a flair for vintage shapes and volumes in his weaving?

Group: Mori & Nonno & Yoké: FRIENDS. Friends for a long time, through so much pain. An evening together while The Youths (tm) are at Spike’s bar?

Yoké: catch-all Yoké request because he’s my fave! Doing Yoké things, being a big nerd, caring for books and plants and stuff

Pyre

The burning found family feelings, the revolutionary passion, the tension between topside social constraints and the kind of freedom allowed by the Downside! Thoughts about finding oneself at the end of an age, as everything crumbles down to form something new. I love all the themes, the solemnity, the heart of this game. I adore everyone in that Blackwagon+Dalbert+Celeste, so if you want to add a Nightwing or two to any prompt, please do! I also love all the Scribes and find Erisa a compelling tragic figure. Out of the other triumvirates, I’m “love to hate them” for Manley, Brighton, Udmildhe and Deluge and would not like to see them featured in sympathetic roles. My main interest usually lies in post-canon exploration when applicable, but I’m also into various adventures during canon. Pick a location or a place outside the map and see what happens? As for the ending variables, I’d ask for a peaceful revolution and Oralech alive, but no preferences for who’s up and who’s down, pick whatever works best for any given plot bunny.

Group: Tariq & Soliam: what were Tariq and Celeste like in their earliest days? Were they made or summoned from some sort of preexisting star consciousness? They’re wildly different scenarios! I’m good with either. Does Soliam then see Tariq as a child of sorts, someone he made, or something greater than himself? Did he mean to do that, to have these two immortals around? What does Tariq learn from the First Scribe?

Group: Tariq & Dalbert Oldheart: Any excuse for Tariq to hang out with the Fates for a little while, and treasure and be treasured by dear Dalbert...

Group: Oralech & Vagabond Girl: after all is said and done, Oralech’s view of the Scribes is probably... understandably... dire. So of course I want to see him talk it out with ae!

Group: Celeste & Ignarius: look, listen, if the various triumvirates just camped out near their respective Scribe’s place during the Nightwings’ years-long absence (not the only possible explanation for how you find them all neatly lined up before the first lib rite, but an explanation nonetheless, I think. just let me have my crack), that means Iggy was Celeste’s neighbor for a long time. Neighborly hijinks please?

Group: Bertrude/Pamitha: Pam returning from her travels, again and again, and finding a home in Bertrude’s lab, finding an understanding there... Bertrude’s attitude being thorny in a way that’s just what Pam needs to allow herself to open up... also: snake kisses.

Group: Volfred Sandalwood/Oralech: waking up and remembering that the mourning that’s set deep in your roots is for someone who never died, waking up and remembering that the bitterness that consumed you had made up a betrayal that never was, finding each other through these crumbling walls...

Molten Milithe: that’s the pov for a love letter to the Downside, right? And/or which Scribe did she bond with the most? Or the least for that matter?

Volfred Sandalwood: catch-all Volf’n’anyone request. I want to see our tree interact with any friend and foe you might fancy! Arguing for his beliefs, being a history professor through and through, finding himself in a tight spot and getting unexpected help, verbally tearing Brighton a new one if they ever cross each other’s path again...

group: Volfred Sandalwood/Tariq | The Lone Minstrel: Volfred’s zodiac sign is Cancer and Cancer is ruled by the Moon, so there’s that. I love how they both hold the other in the highest esteem, especially on Tariq’s part since he’s the immortal Herald of the Scribes and Volfred is, all in all, a history teacher, but listen to him and you’d think the roles were inverted. I love my nonviolent canon but could anything happen to either of them that may require a rescue, and/or some good old-fashioned h/c? What’s something that could make Tariq of all people lose it? How’s life 100 years on?

Shenmue

This game cares for the little things. I’d love to see fanworks that try to out-slice-of-life canon...

Group: Qiu Hsu & Xianzi Bei: cormorant kung fu adventure! Do they hang out sometimes?

Group: Hazuki Ryo & Shenhua Ling: any moment, discussion, small adventure from their travels together! I love their bond! For all its waifufication of Shenhua, S3 really sold me on their friendship and a shared brand of dorkiness. Alternatively, sometimes I remember that they’d be 50ish in the present day - how and where do you picture them?

The Silver Case

I‘m all for the surrealism, big things being introduced and never picked up again, Rashomon’ing it up with six explanations for the same thing where no single one can be true, people dying and then popping up again like nbd... maybe the thing I like the most is characters transcending their humanity and looming over the dystopian world like ominous avatars. Correctness’ first ending had me swooning, that kind of mood is unparalleled. I have played TSC, FSR and 25W so far and have vague memories of K7. I’m aware of the “everything’s connected” readings but that’s not my main interest in these games. For FSR-focused requests, I see Lospass as a real island but also a metaphysical place of transformation first and foremost, where strange things happen that don’t make sense elsewhere.

Group: Toriko Kusabi & Remy Fawzil: What’s Toriko up to when she’s not chasing Chris? I think it could be fun to throw her at Remy and see the island from their point of view!

Group: Tokio Morishima & Edo Macalister: since Tokio stayed at the Flower Sun and Rain... I’m interested in peculiar happenings on Lospass that are not centered on Sumio...

Group: Tetsugorou Kusabi/Sumio Kodai: Tetsu picked one hell of a crush, huh! What’s it like in the aftermath of the games, when Sumio is Like That? How does Tetsu grapple with Parade? Is Tetsu an anchor of sorts for Correctness Sumio, who seems (at best) to be existing on a slightly different plane of existence at any given time and could disappear if you blink too hard?

Group: Tetsugorou Kusabi & Shinko Kuroyanagi: I’m joining the “let these two be foulmouthed friends” masses - who’d be more fed up with the other’s nonsense, and in which ways would they be an unstoppable team?

Group: Shinkai Tsuki & Tetsugorou Kusabi: Both of them end their stories in the shadows one way or another, and defending their protégé may have had a hand in their misfortune one way or another. What kind of understanding could they reach? What IS Tsuki up to anyway?

Group: Christina & Catherine: anthro Catherine, as per the Placebo bonus chapter Yami, was unexpectedly charming. What was Chris before reaching Lospass, and did he also have a chat with her on the plane or on the island?

#letter

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pagesaplenty · 5 years ago

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Freddy’s 10 Books to Read to Date Me (Friends can date too!)

Although I am married and not looking to start a harem of book loving spouses, I loved Pete’s book list and wanted to create my own! There are a few books on my list that my husband did read per my recommendation, though I hope he eventually reads all of them. It was hard to pick only 10 books, so I picked a couple books to represent a genre of books. Honorable mentions go to “Station Eleven” by Emily St. John Mandel, “Hatchet” by Gary Paulsen, “My Side of the Mountain” by Jean Craighead George, “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” by Ann Brashares, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” by Willliam Shakespeare , and “Dracula” by Bram Stoker. Sorry if this is cheating, but I’m probably the most indecisive person you’ll ever meet, well I mean maybe. ;)

In no particular order…

Nimona by Noelle Stevenson - I can’t remember the first graphic novel I picked up and read, but they’ve always been important to me. It was tricky picking just one for my list, but Nimona will always stand out. When you find a form of media with a “message” there is a fine line the creator treads to not make you, the consumer, feel like they’re shoving their opinions down your throat. Noelle does an amazing, hilarious job with this book! Good and evil are not always black and white, and friendship comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, and sharks!

The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton - I was “forced” to read this book in school, and I am all the more happy for it! I credit this book with awakening my love of poetry. Though I’d read and enjoyed poems before, Ponyboy’s feelings about poetry and the world made me feel connected to it all, instead of just a reader.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte - This was my Grandma’s favorite book. She read it every year. I wish I could say that is why I read it, but unfortunately I watched a film adaptation first. However, sometimes movies are a great way to make books feel more approachable. Jane is intimidating, but once you get to know her (like some other people I know) you see her for the fiery treasure she is.

Fairy Tales by Whomever - I wanted to have fairy tales included on my list, but couldn’t pick just one collection or author. For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted the world around me to be magical. I can remember sitting perfectly still outside hoping to see a fairy, or creeping quietly to my room anticipating that I’d catch my stuffed animals walking around and having fun. I love how all over the world different cultures have their own stories that have been passed down. We create our own magic in the tales we spin.

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie - I read this book one year in celebration of Banned Books Week, and I’m so glad I did. Sherman Alexie gives you a glimpse into a life I knew hardly anything about. You can hear his voice throughout the book and all of his emotions. I felt like my world was so small after reading his book that I needed to read bigger and learn more about all of my fellow human beings.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith - This book will be on all of my book lists! Similar to what Pete said about Wives and Daughters, this was the book that made classics approachable for me. I wanted to be friends with Francie Nolan and her family. I want to write a book someday that made readers feel as this book made me feel.

A Girl of the Limberlost by Gene Stratton-Porter - I could really pick any of Gene’s books for this list, but this was my introduction into her writing. Thanks to our Mum, my siblings and I were brought up in a nature loving environment. She always had rocks, leaves, bugs, and more around the house and shared a love of all these natural wonders. You can feel Gene’s love for the outside world in her books and her passion for preserving it for years to come. Also there’s a really sweet love story and that’s always a bonus!

Poems by Maya Angelou - I’d always hoped I could one day meet this lovely poet, or at least attend one of her readings. When I read her poetry I hear her voice in my head spinning a passionate and beautiful world of emotion and desire. “Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.” You’re hooked now, aren’t you?

Matilda by Roald Dahl - This is one of those rare books where I love the movie almost as much as I love the book. Roald Dahl was the master of children’s books, perfect in his silliness and magic in the everyday world. Matilda helped me feel less alone. That it was wonderful to be different and I shouldn’t try to hide what makes me different.

#book list #to be read #books to read #readers #date me list #reading #impact #books

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 5 years ago

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Caramel Skin Under A Vanilla Sky. Part 20 full draft

Moved with the help of a hover trolley, Lance looked even worse under the lights of the Telula. Having scanned his body, Daehra set up a drip line with a herbal concoction to help flush Lance's system of the excess drugs, as well as lower his fever. It was only by some miracle that Lance was still breathing on his own unaided. Holding the Cuban's hand firmly, Keith hadn't left his side as he waited for him to wake, having fallen asleep with his cheek against Lance's palm, and Kosmo by his side. The question of "why?" had plagued his mind right up to the moment the exhaustion of everything hit him like a 2-by-4 to the face. Waking to something tickling his cheek, Keith jerked back when he realised Lance's hand was moving. Grasping it firmly with his left hand, Keith's attention shot to Lance's face. The pain in his eyes causing him to tear up again as he surged up to hug Lance as tightly as he could with his right arm. Burying his neck against Lance's neck, he choked out "You stupid bastard... you nearly left me" Coughing, Lance's voice was a gravelly rasp "What... happened?" "You took too many drugs. You had a seizure and you wouldn't wake up... I thought I lost you..." "Keith..." Pulling back from the hug, Keith glared at Lance. Lance wincing at the fierce look "Why?! Why would you do that?! Daehra said you had double your daily pills, plus triple that golden liquid stuff in your system! You body went into meltdown! Why, Lance!?" Lance's bottom lip trembled "Don't give me that! I thought we were getting closer again! I thought I was helping you! That I was getting through to you how serious I am about staying with you! You tried to kill yourself... because of me" "No! No..." "No, what? You do this. You cut me out. You keep pushing me away! I don't understand why you don't believe me!" "Because everyone leaves!" Coughing, Lance rubbed at his throat. Keith caught off guard at Lance's words "Everyone leaves, Keith. I didn't try to kill my self, I tried to kill what I'm feeling. I can't afford to feel. I can't afford to slip up. I have to... I have to keep moving forward. I didn't try to kill myself. I tried to kill..." "You tried to kill what?" "Me... because everyone leaves and I knew you would now that the mission is over" Keith stared at Lance in shock "I'm not ok. I can't keep being Lance. I can't be with you. I can't give you my heart. I can't even stand the thought of kisses, let alone being fucked. You were going to wake up sooner rather than later and see that I am not worth any of this effort. I took... I took more because... I wanted to kill off these emotions. I'm barely human anymore. Could you say that in 5 years time, 10 years time, you weren't going to see how much of a fuck up I am? I can't love you like you deserve, so I don't want to feel anything... I'm not worth anything..." "How can you say that?! What about all the good you're doing?" "Making you cry. Making you lie. Making you think I tried to off myself because of you. How is that good for you? You're lying to your mum. To Shiro. To your family, because I can't get my shit together. Ever since you turned up on my goddamn doorstep, you brought everything back. Why can't you see I'm not worth it?" "Because I love you" "I don't love you, Keith" "Lance..." Keith's heart began to race, sick dread filling him "I don't. I don't love you. I don't think I love any one anymore. Go home" "Lance" "Go home! I don't love you! I don't want you here! You can't fix me!" "I don't care if you don't love me, you fucking idiot, I love you!" "Do you want to know how I feel about love?! It makes me sick. When you touch me, I want to tear my own skin off! When you're nice to me, I want to vomit. When you sit there watching me, I want to break your fingers!" "No. You don't mean that" Denial came thick and fast to Keith. He'd seen it Lance's eyes, in his touches. In the way he smile, and relaxed into his hold. Lance had come so far. He'd reached out his hand, and Keith had pulled him close "Get out" "Lance, please. Don't do this" "Get out!" He was ugly crying now. His world felt like it was shattering "L-Lance" "What's going on here?" Whether already coming to check on Lance, or drawn by their yelling, Daehra walked into the med bay. Her question taking Lance's attention from him "Keith was leaving" "Lance, please..." "Go home, Keith" "Lance" "Go home! I don't want you here! I've humoured you long enough. You're not my friend. You're not my family and your love, it disgusts me" Unable to take anymore, Keith fled for the medbay doors, collapsing against them as his strength gave out. With his chest heaving, he couldn't believe Lance would say those things. He knew he didn't mean them. He couldn't have possibly meant them. Lance was trying to drive him away. But god, it fucking hurt. Driving the heels of his palms into his eyes, he tried to calm his breathing... but it was hard when Lance was right behind those doors. Lance was talking to Daehra instead of him. Why couldn't it be him? * "Leandro, did you really need to treat Keith in such a manner?" Grasping his chest, Lance struggled for breath. His heart feeling like it was shattering in a way it hadn't since Allura died. Sucking in a desperate breath, his lungs refused to cooperate. He didn't want to hurt Keith. He didn't want to hurt anyone. But, Keith... he... he would leave. He hadn't meant to overdose. He'd simply wanted to keep up the appearance of Leandro for his team, and protect himself from Keith leaving the only way he knew how. Letting out a choked sob, Daehra rushed to his side, gathering him into her hold. He didn't have the energy to push things down anymore, knowing that every single thing he felt for Keith was flooding into her "Oh, Lance... why? Why, could you not tell him?" "Because he deserves the world... I can't hold him back" "He loves you" "I think... I'm falling for him all over again, but he deserves better than someone like me" He'd tried so hard to not breakdown against Daehra like this. He'd tried so hard to be everything everyone wanted "He chose you" "I can't choose him. I can't. There's things he doesn't know... if he... if he knew... if he knew he'd leave on the spot. If he's going to leave, then he needs to go before I fall even harder for him... I love him... but I can't, Daehra. I can't be with someone like that again" Hushing him softly, Daehra rocked him as she fiddled with his IV line with her other hand "He cares for you far more than words can see. He did not leave your side since you collapsed. He refused to eat or sleep" "See! How is that healthy? I can't be responsible for him" "You are not responsible for him, Lance. He made the choice to stay" "For how long? The pills don't work when he's so close. He's so gentle, but I can't help but feel sick. He... I can't do that to him, Dae... I can't" Sobbing out his feelings warmth started spreading through his body, radiating from the IV in his arm "Shhhh. You are very weak. You need rest. Much rest" Letting her hold him, he hated himself so much that he wished he hadn't woke. His body was wrong. His face was wrong. His mind was wrong. He'd come back wrong. So everything he was feeling for Keith, must too be wrong. Not knowing that Daehra had opened the line to sedate him, it wasn't long before Lance was back out of it again. The woman having prepared a seperate line on Keith's warning that Lance may grow violent due to the drugs in his system and the fact he was going to be thrown off by suddenly being in an environment that his brain might not recognise immediately. Lowering Lance down, the woman sighed. Both of them were idiots in her books. * Half falling back when the door opened behind him, Keith barely noticed. Moving to squat down in front of him, Daehra placed her hand on his own "Keith?" With watery amethyst eyes, Keith blinked in attempt to make his whole world less blurred "How is he?" "Not good. We should speak" Despite the abuse Lance had thrown his way, Keith didn't want to leave him in the med bay alone. Kosmo might have been there, but he couldn't help in an emergency "I can't..." "You are both... I swear!" Daehra's remark sounded like she thought "I swear" was the same as actually swearing "Did he... I mean..." "He spoke" "And?" "You are both frustrating" "He's disgusted by me" Shaking her head, Keith was sure Daehra was doing so in pity "No. He is scared" "I know he's scared. He's been scared since... before I even came back into his life" Taking her hand off his arm, Daehra pressed it to his chest "He is scared here. He loves you, and he is scared by that" "He doesn't love me" "If he does not love you, why did he just tell me he has "fallen" for you?" "He... did?" Nodding, Daehra gave him as sad smile "He loves you. I could feel it as I held him. He loves you and he is scared of what that means. He is sure you will leave" "I don't want to leave him. I told him I don't want to" "Keith. The heart and the mind do not always align. He does not believe he can over come his fears. He fears he will hurt you. That somehow his love is wrong. I know his words hurt. But he wants to love you. He is simply scared of where that love will lead" He wasn't fucking Allura. He wasn't going to leave Lance behind to start all over again with a broken heart. He didn't want to live in her shadow "What do I do then?" "You stay. The Telula still needs many repairs. You stay, you help" "I was going to, but he won't listen" "I think it best I show you something. You have given me much to think about. I feel as if I'm betraying Lance, but he has... I fear for him" "Show me what?" "Come" Walking back into the medbay, Lance was out cold again. Kosmo had moved to lay up against him, his head resting on Lance's chest "Do not worry, he will not wake. He will probably not remember waking up and fighting with you" That didn't make things alright. It didn't take away the hurt done by Lance's words. The only small comfort he had was that Lance hadn't tried to kill himself. No. He'd only tried to kill the feelings he had for him, which stung like all fuck "I want to show you something now I know Lance has not told me everything" "What?" "Here, you come" Following Daehra down to the end of the room where the scanner equipment was located, Daehra pulled up a hologram "This is Lance's body. I feel he is hiding something more from me. I can tell you were confused by his cycle. Answer me honestly, this is not normal for someone of his physiology" "No..." Sighing, Daehra manipulated the hologram to Lance's pelvic region. Keith trying not blush at the holographic image of Lance's junk. It'd been bad enough cleaning him down there. There was nothing sexual in his actions, but looking felt wrong, even if he'd seen it before. Tapping, Daehra spun the image, before enlarging something "I don't know what I'm looking at" "This is Lance's womb. Human males do not have wombs" His what now?! What... what? "There has to be a mistake. Lance... is human. No. He was not born with a womb" "These scanners do not lie. Before meeting him, I was trained not in depth with this technology. I tested his pills without his permission" Feeling dizzy, Keith stumbled to grab the end of the bed. He didn't understand a damn thing about how this could have happened "I test all his pills. I have run simulations, and have drawn conclusions" "Tell me" "If Lance did not take his pills, his marks would return. His body would regulate and his cycle would begin. He emits a scent that is appealing to Galra. And most probably those who do not share his same genetic base. He always spoke fondly of you, and I believe I understand now. He has undergone changes on a genetic level from male human physiology. I think he also fears that you cannot love him how he is, because he cannot love himself how he is. You and I are the only two to know this. I have not informed the others. Though I do wish he had told me. I did not make the decision to follow him because of his body. He has always been an excellent leader. We will continue to follow him, because he needs whatever he is getting out of this. His mood may drop lower when he learns the Telula was take many moons to fix. This is all a lot to think of. He will not wake for many vargas, and your Kosmo will be with him. Go rest. Think. If you cannot love him, then leave. If you do love him, make peace with your past, and explain to those you love you need to be with him for now. You give each other strength. I feel it deeply" Keith's head was still spinning. He wasn't sure he knew which way was up as he nodded "Thanks... I... need to think, I think..." "Please rest" Nodding again, he felt numb as he forced himself out the medbay and through the Telula. Instead of returning to the quarters he'd used, he walked the extra few steps to Lance's, quietly letting himself into the darkened space. Ignoring the soft light that turned on automatically, Keith dropped down on Lance's bed as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Lance didn't make helping him easy. What the fuck had Allura done to him? Did she mean to change his body so drastically? Or was it a by product of giving Lance part of her life force? Wiping at his tired eyes, he let himself crawl slowly under the covers of Lance's bed, bathing himself in the scents Lance had left behind. Beneath his head, something hard dug through the pillow, irritating him and teasing him with the thought it could be more drugs. Grabbing the hard thing out, he found it to be Lance's orange communicator, his thumb accidentally taking it out of standby mode where he was flooded with bright light and what seemed a long message and call list from Veronica. Fuck. Of course she'd been worried. Her and Lance talked far too frequently for Lance to just disappear without telling her. Shiro might have said they were on a mission, but now Keith felt like he had to explain what was happening. If she pushed Lance too far, things could get even quiznakking worse. Scrolling through the contact list, he found misses calls from Lance's home and a message from Hunk talking about having a get together in a few movements. He said he needed to talk to Lance, but the message was two movements old now and he hadn't tried to call. Wiping at his face, Keith scrolled back through the list. Lance was so loved by his family, yet was hurting so bad he couldn't accept that love at the moment. Without knowing what time it was on Earth, Keith found himself calling Lance's mother. "Lance?! Mijo?! Are you alright?..." Swapping to Spanish, Lance's mother had his head swimming. She took a few moments to slow, then finally asked "Lance?" "Hi, sorry. It's actually Keith" "Keith?! Why are you calling? Is it Lance? No... no..." Her mind had leapt to the worst place possible. Keith kicking himself for not interrupting further "Lance is fine. He's asleep at the moment, we just came back from a covert mission. He pretty much fell asleep within minutes of getting back. I saw how many times you called, so I wanted to reassure you he's ok" "Thank the lord. Thank you, Keith. That boy never stops to think when he's on a mission. Is he there? Can he talk?" Chewing his lip, Keith shook his head before remembering it was an audio only call "No. He's in the other room sleeping. I just didn't want you to continue worrying. He was helping me out on an off the book mission, that wound up taking longer than intended" "Thank you, Keith... At least someone knows the value of a call" It hurt to hear the pain in her voice "Can... I ask you a question?" There was a pause from Lance's mother "Yes, yes. You're as good as a son to me after helping my Lance, and saving the planet. Please, go ahead" "If I said that I had feelings for Lance, would you be ok with that" Keith didn't expect the laughter, or the apology as Lance's mother laughed "I'm sorry. Your feelings for him were obvious to everyone but him. You wish to date Lance, then you need to ask him" "I know, but you're all so important to him. I don't want to... do anything to ruin that" Lance's mother sobered "After Allura died, Lance lost himself. My son... he has issues. He was jumping at shadows, scared of loud noises, stuck in love with Allura. When he left suddenly, we were all confused, but he seemed happy. If you two have found your way back to each other, then I know nothing will make him happier. He is stubborn, stupid and foolish, but he is my baby" "I understand. I know how much Allura dying hurt him. Recently we've been talking about it. I want to date him, but I don't know if I'm the best choice" "That is for Lance to choose. You are a fine young man, Keith. I will not need to worry as much if you're by his side" She'd probably have a heart attack on the spot if she knew what Lance had gone through. No wonder calling home was hard "Thank you. I'm sorry for calling randomly. I don't even know what the time is" "No. I appreciate it. Please tell Lance to call when he can. We miss him... and please, keep him safe" "Um... I promise I will, but can you not tell anyone about what I asked? Lance and I are still working things out, and it's going to take time" "When you are ready, you will tell me. Now go rest, I hear the exhaustion in your voice" Snorting, Keith nodded before remembering she couldn't see him "Thanks. You too" Well. He had Lance's mother's permission. Not that Lance really needed permission to date, he just didn't want to risk coming between Lance and family. He didn't think it would be too big of a deal... actually, no, he was glad the words had slipped out without him thinking because now that he was, he was slightly freaking out. Still, he didn't have time to rest just yet. Scrolling through Lance's communicator, he found Shiro's name. He really needed Shiro right about now to tell him what the hell to do. Calling Shiro, Keith swore it took even longer than normal for his adopted brother to answer. Dressed in formal wear, Keith had the feeling he'd interrupted some kind of diplomatic meeting, but couldn't bring himself to care "You're not Lance" "No. Can you talk?" "Sure. What's going on?" "I... Shiro, I don't even know where to begin" "I'm assuming it's Lance?" Stupid tears rolled down his face, Shiro's eyes widening. With a small flurry of movement, Shiro had changed location "Keith, what's wrong?" "I don't know what to do" "First off, are you and he safe?" Nodding, Keith wiped at a stray tear with his thumb "We're on a friendly planet. Two of his crew come from here and they all love Lance" "Good. That's good. Now, are you both alright?" "I don't know... Shiro, he's so convinced that I'm going to leave him like Allura did, he nearly got himself killed" "Is he ok now?" "Physically. His team's medic is looking after him. The mission... god, Shiro. It was a mess. We didn't find Guile, but we found a whole lot of people hacked to pieces. Lance saw the... he freaked. It took me two days to calm him down... he keeps trying to act like it never happened, and he keeps pushing me away because he thinks I'm not going to stay. I'm fucking scared for him" "Keith... I think you should let us come to you" "He'd only get more upset. You know how he thinks. He thinks he's some great burden, even when he's done nothing wrong. His anxiety levels are so high. I keep telling him I'm staying here, but we he won't listen" Sighing, Shiro nodded "I understand. I had... similar problems with Curtis. The feeling I'd let Adam down, and not knowing if I could be there at the crucial moment for him" "How did you get through it?" "We're still working our way through it. Touch is a big thing. It doesn't have to be grand gestures, but small touches should ease his nerves. Have you talked to Krolia about staying?" "She knows. I sent her the film from the mission... she hasn't got back to me about it. We need to close that place down. It's a government prison, where they're supposed to be storing prisoners in status. They're chopping them to pieces. Lance... he recognised one of the people on there... He's not in a good mental state" "That's revolting... Send me through the data. We've been locked in negotiations with three planets in the sector we're in, meaning there's a back log to be checked. We won't be able to move right away" He'd drop everything and come to pick them up, but wouldn't drop everything to go blow up a floating body farm... yep, that sounded just like Shiro "Patience yields focus" Shiro let out a soft laugh "That is does" "Mum has the files, I think she was going to send them through. I know I can't keep Lance out of this, but I think he needs to rest and take a step back. He's probably going to be mad if you make plans without us, but... I don't know what else to do. This... this a whole government covering up murder. They're using police and agents to bring them bodies. Then there's also some weird cult operating out here that's after the Lions..." "Keith. I'll look into it. Knowing you, you probably want to go back to Lance. You're exhausted and you need to rest before you do. Take a shower, have something to eat and rest" Huffing, Keith rolled his eyes "Yes, dad" "Good. Let me know if your status changes, or anything happens. I'll talk to Veronica" "Better you than me... she's been blowing up Lance's comms" "I'm not surprised. I think she would have taken the Atlas after him by now if she had the choice. Her and Acxa have both been... difficult" "Acxa's there?" "She has been for a while now. I suppose with you stepping back, she'll be recalled to Daibazaal" His team was on the back burner. It wasn't like he was leaving then forever, but right now Lance came first "I didn't think about that. Can you... Lance and I aren't dating. Can you make sure they don't bring that up? He's... hesitant" "Keith, I can handle my crew. Now rest" "I will. I'll talk to you later Shiro" "You too, Keith. Call me if you need anything. If either of you need anything. I'm only a call away" "I know. Say hi to the others for me" "I will" Ending the call, Keith carefully placed Lance's communicator on the spare space beside him. He didn't like lying, or telling half truths, but when the truth wasn't his to tell, all he could was muddle through things the best he could. Burrowing down into Lance's bedding, all he wanted to do was get back up again and return to Lance's side. On the castle, they'd never let anyone wake alone, and now he felt as if he was breaking that promise to him. He still held the secret that his mother knew Lance had been raped, and with how much time has passed, he had no idea how to come clean about it... * Feeling like cotton wool had been stuffed down his throat, and in his head, Lance blinked up at the roof the Telula's medbay with no memory of how he'd gotten there. Despite the space being a safe place to him, the fact he was clearly missing time caused him to start panicking. Was everyone else alright? Had he snapped and lost it at someone? Hurt them? He... remembered landing... and Annla... but... "Lance?" A soft hand came to his cheek, Keith's face filling his vision "Hey. You had a bad reaction to your medication, and collapsed. I cleaned you up, and Daehra hooked you up to an IV" Medication? His... oh... "How... long?" His tongue felt thick and heavy, his throat itchy "2 and a bit quintants. You scared the quiznak out of me" "'m sorry..." "No. It's ok. We told the others you picked a space bug from bad food" "We?" "Daehra and I. I'm so relieved to see you awake" Lance's chest tightened in guilt. He'd taken more of his medication in an attempt to remain strong, but with the way Keith was looking at him so softly, he was wavering all over again "'m sorry" Coughing, he wrinkled his nose at the taste it brought "Take it easy. You had a seizure. Let me get you some water" A seizure? It'd been a while since that had happened... Disappearing, Keith returned a few ticks later with a water pouch, adjusting and holding the straw for him, Lance drank deeply "Slow down. You're probably feeling really flat right now" Pulling back, Lance groaned. Flat was an understatement. Settling the water pouch somewhere, Keith took his hand in his "You really scared me" "Didn't mean to..." What was Keith still doing here? He didn't get it. If 2 quintants had passed, then he'd had plenty of time to leave "I know. I should tell you, I had to bath you. I know you don't like being touched, but I want you to know no else did..." Lance's heart fell further. If Keith had bathed him, he'd seen him completely naked. He'd seen everything "Hey, it's alright. Even I'm not going to feel up an unconscious man, no matter how hot he is" "Don't say it like that" Time loss and being stripped naked had him wanting to scrub himself raw. It didn't matter that he trusted Keith. No one had ever said anxieties were reasonable "Sorry. I'm just trying to say, no one else touched you. Other than Daehra to set up the IV. Daehra has been handling the aide shipment. I called your mum too..." "You called my family?" What? Why the hell would Keith do that?! What had he told him?! He had no right... Lance's tone was snappish, Keith nodding like the stupid mulleted angel he was "To tell them we'd been on a covert mission so you hadn't been able to call. That we are safe, and that you're fine. You had dozens of missed calls on your communicator" "You were using my communicator?" "I couldn't find mine. I was checking in with Shiro, so he didn't freak out and send the Atlas. He says "hello"" Keith staying here, covering for him, and now lying for him... he didn't understand why Keith would go this far after he'd fucked up "Why... why would you do all this?" "Because you're my best friend, you idiot. I've got your back. Plus, I know you were snoring your head off in here, and could exactly do it yourself" Still annoyed, he was even more annoyed that his annoyance at Keith was fading. Pouting, he tried not to seem too forgiving "I don't snore" "We both know you do. You're better than Kosmo though, he lets out the worst farts in his sleep" Yipping at them, Lance agreed with Kosmo "Don't insult Kosmo. He's the best boy in the universe" "Tell that to him when he stinks out a whole ship" "You're not supposed to talk about it. It's like having your parents tell everyone your embarrassing stories" "He's practically your wolf too. He didn't even want to leave for food" Kosmo wasn't his. He was Keith's, but Lance loved him like crazy. He'd been jealous as hell when Keith had come back with him "Naw... Poor Kosmo. I'm sure Annla has some treats for him. She's been really excited about meeting him. They don't have a lot of animals around here anymore. She couldn't even comprehend what a wolf was" "I realised as much. You're really good with children" "Kids are easy, there were always kids around the farm. They don't expect you to be someone you're not. They haven't seen the shit we have... Plus, Annla is a good kid" "I've never been good with kids. They usually run away when they see my face" Lance doubted it happened as often as the half-Galran implied. Keith was gentle, and ridiculously attractive. Sure, he used to scowl at anything that moved, but time was the real wonder drug. Keith's sullen temper had cooled, his baby fat falling away to reveal sharp lines Lance would kill for "Because you used to be scary Keith, all glarey and no cuddly. Now you're like grizzly, chiselled Keith" "I don't think it changes things" "God. You're frustrating. You know you're good looking and you're like "nooo, I have no idea why the alien princess would like me". It makes me want to smack you over the back of the head" Keith had the manners to at least blush hard at Lance's words "You're the only one who thinks like that" "What, the only one who would hit you? If you ask Lucteal, I'm sure he'd take a swing" "No. You're the only one who's called me pretty, and good looking..." Keith's blush grew, Lance finding it stupidly sweet, though his own cheeks reddened at Keith pointing this out. Glancing down, Lance staring at his lap instead of Keith's perfect face "Well... I'm stating the facts. Speaking of pretty, I'm pretty done with this bed. When can I get up?" Laughing, Keith shook his head at him. Why did every little thing have Lance's heart beating like it had no idea what a normal rhythm was "Only you could change topic like that. You're stuck there until Daehra says you're ok to get up" "I'm fine" "You're not fine. You nearly died" Minor details. He didn't, so there was no need to be stuck in bed "You're over reacting" Catching a whiff of something sharp?, grating? He wasn't quite sure but his body tensed at the smell, stalling as he started moving to escape the bed "You're under reacting. If I hadn't stuck my fingers in your mouth, you would have choked to death on your own vomit. I know you're having issues with wanting to living, but don't you dare think that I won't drag your arse back every time. That wasn't ok. You're not allowed to up and die on me. Just like I'm not allowed to go and die on you" "Keith..." What was he supposed to say to that? No one could promise they wouldn't die. It was impossible... After all Allura had been through, he'd conceived in his wildest dreams that she'd give her life for the universe "I'm serious. I can't lose you, Lance. And I'm not going anywhere. If your stupid arse gets killed, I'm going right after you" "Don't talk like that..." He wasn't worth it. The universe needed Keith. Lance still believed he was the future. His humanitarian work had done so much to improve the Galra image. Keith was everything he wasn't. A cool, collected leader who was smart enough not to let his life be fucked up thanks to a good ego stroking "Then don't do stupid things. I have no idea how to make you understand I'm not leaving your stubborn arse" Keith was going to send his heart into failure if he kept this up. He couldn't take the heaviness or sincerity of the man's words "Fine. Message received. You can go find Daehra now. I'm sure she's just going to say I'm fine anyway" "Lance..." "I get it, Keith. You're not leaving right away. I want to get up and shower, my skin feels gross, plus missing time and waking up naked..." "I didn't think about it like that. I'll find Daehra, but please stay in bed until she gets here" Waving Keith off, Lance stayed in bed as he was told. Not for Keith's sake though... not at all. He simply couldn't be bothered wrapping a sheet around himself and then darting through ship back to his quarters. He also wasn't attempting to escape because he couldn't. Keith wasn't playing fair. Everything he'd said had sent Lance's heart racing. He had far too many feelings for Keith... but no idea what to do... He couldn't forget what had happened. No matter what he did, it was always right there. The little voices in his head were fast to remind him how thoroughly worthless he was. How below Keith's league he was. All he wanted to do was go back to work now that he was awake. There were people out there who needed help, and the Telula needed repairs. He needed to see what was happening there.. He didn't need to be stuck in the stupid medbay because of a small overdose. He wasn't dumb enough to accept that it was a bad reaction. He'd overdosed in an attempt to shut down the feelings he couldn't cope with, and now Daehra and Keith would be watching his every move because of his fuck up. Growling at himself, he smacked his head back against the back of the bed. It was all another fuck up to add to the list.

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anihan-spills · 5 years ago

Text

Girl in the Mirror (Part IV)

VI. Maria

A large number of people assemble every Sunday to celebrate mass in the Quiapo church. While most celebrate mass to continuously become closer to God, it is obvious that Senator Magglabo is on his third time celebrating mass that year — first when he was running for senator, second when the ballots were being counted, third (that day) being the day he won as a senator.

Maria knelt quietly, still in deep prayer after taking the holy host in her communion. Most churchgoers were already loud and noisy, talking about their daily gossips.

Father Arnaiz entered the post and said his closing remarks. “Go in peace! Love and serve the Lord.”

“Thanks be to God!” all except Maria say, for she was still kneeling and deep in prayer.

Senator Magglabo turned to his daughter. “Ang saya, hindi ba!? O, senador na ako! Hays, ang biyayang binigay ng Diyos... at sa sambayanan, ako ang biyaya ng Diyos! Maraming taong naghihintay na bumati sa akin sa labas. Mahal, gusto mo bang sumama?”

Maria turned to her father, smiling politely. “Paumanhin, itay. Maaari po ba akong magdasal pa?”

Senator Magglabo frowned at this, but accepted it anyway. “Sige. Sa labas lang ako. Oh! Sina Tita Cori at Tita Rani! Ibabati ko na muna sila.”

Senator Magglabo sat up from his pew and went to Tita Cori and Tita Rani. He soon proceeded into having a small talk with them.

Maria continued to sit down in prayer.

“My Father, you are the light of my life, the light of my love, and the love of my life. You have never failed to listen to my pleas. You were always the one I could trust. I long for you as the deer longs for the stream's water. I long for you as to how King David's subjects long for the notes he plays on the harp. I long for you as much as Bathsheba longed for you when she was betrayed by the same king.

My Lord, I know I am just a woman, but I'm tired. I need your presence. I need you. Help me try to forgive. Help me try to live. Protect me, my Father. Protect me. Amen.”

I remember Maria standing up, tears still welling down her face. She walked to her father and soon overheard his conversation with Tita Cori and Tita Rani.

“Pero alam mo, parang nagbago na si Maria. Maslalo na noong pumasok ka sa pulitika.” Tita Cori remarked.

“Oo nga, eh. Parang hindi siya kasing sigla noong bata pa siya eh. Naging mas mahinhin pa.” Tita Rani added.

Maria interjected in the conversation. “Nahihinayang lang po ako, tita. Parang nahahawa na ako sa pagod ng aking tatay. Ngunit, walang dapat pag-abalahin sa akin.”

Tita Cori, Tita Rani, and Senator Magglabo laugh at this.

“Alam mo naman ang mga babae: napaka-emosyonal.” the Senator smiled, going behind his daughter.

The comment made Maria laugh uneasily. She turned to her father and said, “Magpahinga na po kayo, itay. Maraming nangyari kahapon. Senador ka na at dapat masmarami na ang paghinga mo.”

“Siguro nga. Maraming salamat.”

The four bade their farewells. Maria and Senator Magglabo walked together on the street on the way back to their house.

“Anong pinagdasal mo kanina?” her father inquired.

“Nagdasal ako para sa inyo, at kung gaano akong kagalak maging anak mo.” Maria replied with a smile.

Senator Magglabo blushed. “Aww…”

Senator Magglabo and Maria were surprised to see four Japanese soldiers inside their home. Senator Magglabo was not scared, however. He was actually very delighted.

“Mr. Akinari!” Senator Magglabo smiled, extending his arms, “Good to see you! How was Bulacan?”

“Good to see you, Senator Magglabo. I heard of your victory.” Mr. Akinari nodded to him. He turned to Maria. “Good to see you again, Maria.”

Akinari held Maria’s hand and kissed it. He turned to Senator Magglabo once more. “Bulacan was great.”

Maria gulped. “I should probably go to my room.”

“Wait!” Akinari stopped and turned to the other soldiers, signaling them in.

The soldiers brought in the mirror and removed the cloth that covered it.

“This mirror is taken from one of the American bases. Some would say it dates back to the Spanish era. But it's still so beautiful.” He turned to Maria and smiled, “As beautiful as you.”

Maria gulped once more. She inquired, “Where will you put it?”

“Inside your room, of course.”

Maria and Akinari watched two Japanese soldiers bring the mirror in before exiting. Akinari moved closer to Maria.

“I missed you.”

“I didn’t.”

Akinari tried to moving closer again but Maria resisted.

“Not right now, please.”

Akinari nodded before leaving the room.

Maria lied on her bed and quietly cried.

I remember her face when I appeared in front of the mirror. I remembered looking for Eugenie and then seeing her.

She stared at me a bit, quietly. It was almost scary.

“Oh wow. I’m surprised. You didn’t scream.”

Maria gulped. “I’m turning mad now, am I?”

“Mad?” I frowned, “Oh no, honey. I’m afraid you are.”

Maria sighed and turned over. “Yes, I am.”

I smiled at her, trying to radiate comfort. “If it could make you feel any better, I can introduce myself. Hi! I'm Lucia. I'm no ghost. I don't think I'm reflected light either. I'm just… Lucy.”

She smiled at me as she sat up, “Hello, Lucy. I'm Maria.”

“Yay!” I grin, “Now we’re friends!”

It was late that I realized her tears. I frowned and breathed in deeply. “You’re crying. Is there anything bothering you?”

Maria sobbed and nodded.

I asked, “What’s wrong?”

She sobbed once more before looking away and shrugging.

I deduced. “Was it the man who tried advancing on you.”

She sobbed in the very same manner as she did before. “My father can’t know what happened two weeks ago. My father can't know that I was raped by Mr. Akinari! What my father did, his election, his position, what he stands for — all of it would just be lies.”

I frowned before a knock on the door was heard. I disappeared.

Senator Magglabo entered the door, gleefully. “Akinari is inviting us to a party,” he announced.

Maria was in sudden shock for a while. She looked at the mirror, and then at her father, and looks at the mirror, then at her father once more. She smiled at him. “Tell him I'll be happy to see him.”

As he left, she went to the mirror to fix herself.

Akinari and Senator Magglabo laughed and drank on the same table. A Courier entered and gave a document to Akinari, who then passed it to the senator. Magglabo laughed and jokingly elbowed his Japanese friend. The two had a soft conversation, pointing at each other as if offering each other the honor to announce something. In the end, Akinari stood up, making Senator Magglabo applaud.

Akinari announced with enthusiasm, as he held his glass up high. “I have an announcement to make…”

Maria climbed downstairs just in time to hear the proclamation. After observing Akinari standing, she turned to a waiter to ask what was happening.

Akinari continued, “I am to ask Ms. Magglabo’s hand in marriage.”

Maria’s heart wrenched. She felt everything fall down — as if Atlas had decided to let the heavens go.

Akinari met eyes with his betrothed. She went up to her, held her hand, and kissed it.

“No need to worry, my love.” Akinari told her in assurance, “You’ll be in safe hands.”

Maria stared at Akinari, waiting for him to release her hand. She gave up waiting after a while. The night continued, strings latched all over her numb body.

Maria arrived in her room. She laid down, face flat on the pillow. The nap broke when she heard the door opening, making her jot up.

Akinari opened the door and smiles at her. Maria started to breathe heavy.

“What are you doing here in my room?” “Am I not allowed?”

“Kind of not.”

Maria breathed in heavier as Akinari sat beside her.

“What’s your goal with me, exactly?”

“You’re just really beautiful — and easy to acquire. Who would want to pass the chance on that? I know I wouldn’t.”

Hours passed. Akinari awoke, got up, and put on his clothes. Maria stirred, panting heavily, before waking and getting up.

As soon as Akinari exits, I appear in the mirror.“Hey,” I smile at her, “How was the party?”

“Tiring.” she told me, “I’m marrying him.”

I frowned. “Did you consent to it?”

“When did I ever?”

I sighed and sat to listen to her.

“I pray to the Lord every day. I pray that I could have the strength to move on. I pray that I could have the strength to forgive. I pray that I could have the chance to live with my shame.”

“Being a victim does not put you to shame. Being raped does not make you any less of a person. Raping does. You’re human. You get hurt. You feel lost. You feel abandoned. You feel shamed. You think this is your fault, but it’s not. I believe in you. You can always choose to move on. You can always choose to forgive. But that choice is yours. Even if you do or don’t it still does not make you any less of a person.”

Maria walked through the bustling streets of Manila, carrying a basket of crops with her. She notices the glum, monotone environment despite the vibrant, colorful harvest of produce the summer had to offer. After a moment of brief observance, she bumps upon a woman her age, wearing a shoal around her face. The woman’s fruits fell from her basket. The two knelt down to pick up the fruits. The woman, however, was stopped by people passing by her, “accidentally” kicking and hitting her along their way. Maria notices this, and then the two stand up, the woman is pushed once more.

“Dahan-dahan lang!” the man shouted violently at the woman.

The woman stood up and wiped a tear from her face. She quietly walked out of the scene.

Maria watched the covered woman go before realizing that, in her hand, was a tomato that did not belong to her. She grabbed her basket and called out for the woman.

Upon nearing, the woman looked worriedly at Maria. Maria approached the woman and was about to give the fruit to her, before being pulled over to an alleyway.

The woman hushed Maria beneath the darkness the building had constructed for them in the deep corner. “Please be quiet.” the woman pleaded, “I’m not supposed to be outside.”

Maria frowned and handed over the tomato, which the woman accepted.

“Where are you taking the foods?” Maria curiously asked.

“To my friends…” the woman answered, “for us to eat.”

“Where are you going?”

The woman hesitated to answer before sighing. Maria noticed tears rushing to fall from the woman’s eyes as the woman shook her head. Maria went over to the woman to hold her.

“To the fort.” the woman answered.

Maria knew exactly what fort. The fort that had been the torture place for so many years. In that fort were churches that should have served as a place of protection for its people, but instead were converted as sites of hell.

“I-Inside?” Maria asked.

The woman just nodded. “Why did you think people shoved me away?”

Maria frowned and watched the woman go. She then felt the urge to run up to the woman to hold her. She fed into that urge.

The woman cried in reply.

“It’s okay,” Maria said. “I know that feeling.”

The woman laughed. “Really? Have you ever felt what it’s like seeing your husband tortured and whipped in front of you while you were being defiled? Have you ever felt what it’s like witnessing your father skinned alive, and your brother being stabbed? Have you ever—”

“No.” Maria pulled away, shaking her head. “But I know what it feels like to be abused. This is not a competition.”

The woman was silent. She stared at Maria as she continued.

“I’m sorry this happened to you. But it’s not your fault. Being a victim does not put you to shame. Being tortured like that does not make you any less of a person. Torturing does. You’re human. You get hurt. You feel lost. You feel abandoned. You feel shamed. You think this is your fault, but it’s not. I believe in you. You can always choose to move on. You can always choose to forgive. But that choice is yours. Even if you do or don’t it still doesn’t take away you being a person.”

The woman snickered. “They all say that. But what do they do? Nothing.”

Maria looked away before staring at the woman sincerely. “I could help get you out.”

The two heard Japanese soldiers approaching. They run towards the other corner of the alley.

The two pant as they were able to safely arrive outside the alley, back into plain sight. She smiled at each other as they caught their breaths.

“My name is Maria.”

“My name is Asiang.”

“Alright, Asiang, here’s the plan…”

And the two conspired to escape — with every detail for every thought-of circumstances. The thought of, not only an escape for themselves but for everyone in that comfort station. It’s the least Maria could do. For, after all, she too wanted to escape like them.

After the planning, Asiang looked up at Maria and smiled. “Salamat.”

“Walang ano man.” Maria replied, “Mag-ingat ka.”

The visions came by fast. First I saw Maria carrying a gas lamp as she placidly walked by thick stone walls, sounds of explosions and gunshots all around her. She walked alleyway after alleyway before eventually arriving at a building. She looked through the window and saw Asiang waiting for her alone in her room. Asiang, likewise, noticed Maria and slipped a piece of paper through the two walls that connected her room to the others’ rooms. A loud knock was heard from the door, hurrying Asiang to escape. Maria helped Asiang get down through the window. As soon as Asiang got down, the two slowly back away from the window. They were stopped, however, as they both bumped into a big soldier, holding a bayonet. The two stared in horror.

#Girl in the Mirror

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xyfanficarchive · 6 years ago

Text

Pieced Together

Pairing: DBH Daniel x Reader

Warnings: none

Summary: Reader is an ex-Cyberlife repair technician who has been chosen to observe and help rehabilitate Daniel in the months following the successful android revolution. But first, they have to put him back together.

Word Count: 4543 (!!!!!!!!!)

Author’s Note: tHis is insane! this is bananas!!! this is fuckin bazonkers!!! 4.5k words>???>> this is a scene ive had in my brain for a bit now. thsi would be something like the prologue to a long slow burn type fic if i decide to continue it right now, but i dont think i will. ive never written anything of that magnitude before and i want to prepare for it, to make sure im ready to follow through until the end rather than dive right in immediately. I hope you guys read it and enjoy it anyways though!! BLEAS give me your opinions on this!!!

You checked your watch. 12:48 am. You stood on the sidewalk in the eerie silence of the November night; thick, fluffy snow falling around you, padding the environment and all ambient noise. You look up at the sign above the storefront, bright white illuminating the street, the snow scintillating dazzling whites and yellows in the glow of the sodium street lamps. “Cyberlife Repair Centre” it read. You take a sip of the hot coffee in your hand before walking up to the window and pressing your face to the glass, using your free hand to block the glare that would prevent you from viewing the inside.

This place was not the location you worked at before, but it was absolutely identical in every way. Cyberlife was, if anything, the absolute master of the term “cookie-cutter.” You chuckled to yourself.

The room you were looking into was only a small part of the whole building. It was wide and short. There was a reception desk stood in the exact centre against the back wall, directly in line with the door’s entrance. The room was painted in Cyberlife blue, and the walls were decked out with displays (that were currently powered down in the store’s closed state). Sleek, modern furniture sat on either side of the room, shiny, sterile white and uncomfortable. Seating for the patrons waiting for their androids to be repaired. To the left of the reception desk was a normal sized frosted glass door. That was the staff room. And to the right of the desk was a larger frosted glass door, decorated in Cyberlife’s signature hexagonal pattern. That was the repair lab, and where you needed to be.

You backed away from the window and adjusted the straps on your backpack before digging through the pocket of your puffy winter jacket for the keycard that would allow you access to the store. You slipped it out and held it in your gloved hand, just staring.

You never did think you’d ever be here again. It made you almost giddy, in a way.

But you had a job to do. There was no time to stand around reminiscing. You walked over to the door and passed the keycard over the wireless pad, hearing the beep of the lock disarming cut through the silence. You pushed the door open and stepped into the warmth of the store inside. The room whirled to life around you, lights coming on blinding to your unaccustomed eyes, the wall displays blinking on and awaiting further human instruction. You turned back and swiped the keycard over the internal lock, closing the store off to the outside world.

Smiling to yourself, you kicked your winter boots off on the rug as you unzipped your jacket. That was something you were never allowed to do, always having to put on an air of perfection and professionality for the customers. Cyberlife was clean, Cyberlife was immaculate. But, you always worked best when you were comfortable, and you weren’t a Cyberlife employee anymore. You were just using their lab you were trained to use to repair the android waiting for you inside. Your… ward now, you supposed. Although the thought felt weird.

You padded your way across the cold floor to that big square door on the right, still unlit beyond the frosted glass. Using the keycard again, you unlocked it and it slid open, and upon entering the lights automatically turned on. There was a soft electric hum coming from the computers and machinery powering up. The room was bright white and sterile looking. In one corner there was a wall of monitors and input terminals, where software repairs were effected. Against the right wall was a set of three large 3D printers, for printing simpler components like limbs, or soft external structural plates, which gave the face and body its shape. On the left wall sat another door, that led into the storeroom where more complex biocomponents that had to be manufactured externally were kept.

You shrugged off your backpack and coat, and slipped off the fingerless gloves covering your hands, setting them down onto a stainless steel table adjacent to the door. Now stripped down to only your jeans and knit sweater, you took another sip of your coffee as you walked towards the centre of the room.

There was the main focus. Another stainless steel table, equipped with sensors and other equipment, a rolling tray of tools situated nearby. Above, a rotating module fitted with assembly tools on long mechanical arms sat waiting, although you had always preferred to simply use your hands when doing your job. You padded closer, sipping your coffee with both hands and relishing the warmth on your digits.

“Fucking Christ…” you mumbled to yourself. Lying down on the table in the centre was your ward, the android you were to repair. You remembered Markus and Connor’s words telling you he was in poor shape, really, really poor shape, but you hadn’t paid it any mind. Now, actually standing in front of him, you realized that it was kind of an understatement.

The PL600 lying in front of you was surprisingly clean for his appearance. You suspected he might have been covered in thirium at some point, but his clothes and person were only now spotless because thirium degrades and becomes invisible to the naked eye. He was missing his left arm and both his legs (and you were surprised at the fact that his legs were torn off above the knee joint, when they were designed to dislocate at the knee). Gaping hole in his right shoulder, gaping hole in the left side of his face (you gently moved his mouth open and closed and cringed at the clicking sound of plastic and metal), the front of his shirt was torn open and his abdomen was scrubbed clean of artificial skin (‘What in the fuck did they do to him at the DPD?!’ you wondered.) And his eyes. Blue-grey and open, unblinking, unseeing in his state of shutdown. You took a flashlight from the rolling tray and shone it on them, and when you didn’t see any sign of damage you were relieved. With a grimace, you took your thumb and forefinger and gently closed his eyelids.

Where to even start with him? You pulled up a rolling chair and sat adjacent to the table, propping your feet up on the edge. It would be a much easier and quicker process if you could wake him and have him run his internal diagnostic program, but there was no guarantee he would even start up in his state of disrepair. Besides, you weren’t sure you wanted to wake him up to be conscious in his dilapidated body anyways.

With a resigned sigh, you spoke up. “Computer, run scan and diagnostic on PL600 model, create list of all damaged components.” The technology allowing for the contactless scan and diagnosis of androids was new, and slow. It was effective, but took time for the computer to take the images it was sensing and separate each component from the rest in a powered-down state. Running your fingers through your hair, you got up and walked over to your backpack where you retrieved the tablet you had stored within. Taking another sip of coffee, you returned to your seat with your legs propped up, and unlocked the computer. You brought up the DPD file on this android. Might as well refresh your memory.

Model PL600. Serial number 369 911 047. There was a description of his nature and his actions on that August night, but you weren’t particularly interested in whatever police officer’s interpretation of the events that were on file. Instead, you elected to view once more the raw footage, visual and audio data taken directly from Connor’s memory banks as a record of what happened. It was intense, as always. You were rather infamous for your notable empathy towards androids, and the plight deviants faced, but you managed to have conflicted feelings towards this one. On one hand, you understood him. The flight of emotions. Anger, sadness, fear, betrayal, all racing through his mind for the first time, clouding his perceptions. Emotions giving him violent impulses that he didn’t yet have the capacity to confront and control like everyone else could. On the other hand, the girl. She was so young. She couldn’t possibly have understood this whiplash change, the android who she trusted to take care of her, with whom she was so close now standing with her on the edge of a building threatening to end her life. With her every cry and plea for her life he seemed so awfully pained, so why? You were caught between the thought that he understood he was hurting her and it was wrong, and the knowledge that he couldn’t really control it, between the belief that what he did was morally incorrect, and the belief that he deserved a second chance.

You looked up to watch him resting on the table. Now, you were legally required to take care of him. One of the first talks Markus and the rest of the android revolutionaries had with the government was on the subject of android criminals. What was to be done with them? Deviation, at the start, before it was possible to wake androids up with a single touch, was an extremely traumatic experience generally brought about by horrible instances of abuse, or strong negative emotions. It wasn’t particularly uncommon for those androids to have charges of assault, theft, or even murder on their records. But it came from a place of necessity, a drive for self-preservation; just scared people acting in fear, in self defense. They ruled that any crimes committed by an android prior to November 11, 2038 would be pardoned, but since deviancy had spread so quickly by touch across the country and most if not all androids were now deviant by non-violent means, it stood to reason that they now should be treated equally in the eyes of the law.

The government’s ideal plan would have involved every android with a crime on their hands being tracked down and put into a system where their behaviour was monitored for a certain period of time. Markus and the rest of Jericho argued that not only would it be a logistical nightmare and a huge waste of resources to track down mostly peaceful people who just want to live free, but it would likely be generally frowned upon given the public’s support of androids and the United State’s unfortunate history of marginalizing people. The government settled on a compromise: all androids currently locked up in evidence stores across the country would be submitted into this system. They were, after all the ones who were unstable enough to let themselves get caught, or something to that effect. The only caveat was that the androids would get to choose who took them in and observed them, helped them reintegrate into society.

That’s where you came in, you were approached by Markus and Connor, and asked to be the one who took in this PL600. You weren’t sure at first. Sure, you were good when it came to dealing with passing deviants, a few nights stay while you pieced them back together in your living room with your limited resources, but to have one live with you? For a matter of months? One who was particularly volatile, particularly angry and difficult?

You’d had a week to think on it. You were given his file to look over. Yes, you were indeed conflicted on how to feel about him, but the more you thought the more you came around to the idea. Markus and Connor trusted that you were capable enough anyways, right? You were up for a challenge.

“Diagnosis complete. Listing all damaged biocomponents,” chimed the computer from a speaker in the ceiling. You were startled a little from your thoughts, and looked behind you at the wall of screens in the corner, where a window had now popped up and was creating a list of all damaged components. You sucked air through your teeth as you watched it keep going on and on, and you pushed off the table with your feet to propel yourself on the office chair towards the screens.

Your expression soured as you read. Nearly every biocomponent contained in his abdomen was non-functional and needed direct replacing, not just repair. There were a few damaged bones in his shoulder area (all his limbs needed replacing it seemed, even the one that looked mostly intact). He was going to need a new jaw structure, and new soft structure components on his hip, and face (‘Fuck,’ you thought, ‘face plates are a bitch to replace…’). All in all, it was looking to be a long night. You looked at the clock. 1:32 am. You sighed.

“Computer, cross reference list of damaged components with current inventory, and create a list. Begin 3D printing any biocomponents not in stock that can be printed,” you said, and after a second or two the 3D printers on the other side of the room whirred to life, and next to the existing list another window popped up detailing which components were available and their index numbers in the storeroom.

“Well, lets get going,” you mumbled to yourself and, setting your now empty coffee cup on the floor, you stood up from your seat and walked over to the storeroom door. Inside, the room was well lit, neat, and clearly labelled. Sleek, white boxes bearing the Cyberlife logo and the codes of the respective parts they contained lined the walls. A far cry from your makeshift shelving of scavenged biocomponents and scrap limbs, parts that were damaged but likely to be less damaged than whatever new deviant of the week who passed through your life was using.

You took a cart and walked through the room, picking boxes as you went. It was like your instinct came back to you in that moment, running through the catalogue of parts he needed in your brain and matching them with their respective locations, legs simply carrying you without conscious thought. Like some kind of latent memory awakened within you. It had been so long, but you fell right back into the old motions.

You took a new lung component. New thirium pump, and thirium filter. There were compatible arms and right legs, but no left legs in sight (‘What sort of left leg epidemic has been going on?!’ you wondered.) There was a replacement soft structural component #6746g in stock (the one that would cover his shoulder), and #4503y (the one that would cover his hip), but no mandible, or component #3365u (the one that would cover the left side of his face). You picked up a roll of new thirium tubing, as you figured you would need to redo the whole setup inside his abdomen too, and left the room.

As expected, you looked over to see all the components you were missing beginning to materialize on the platform of the 3D printers across the room. You wheeled the cart over to the table in the centre. Where to start? You supposed you would have to undress him. That was a thought that made you a little uncomfortable, you realized. You wouldn’t have even blinked an eye the last time you were in a lab like this, back when you repaired automata, machines obeying orders. But now you were repairing a person, fit with a sense of modesty, and you were to strip his unconscious broken body naked without even having spoken a single word to him. To make matters worse, you knew his model was, well, equipped, being programmed to function as a sexual partner if needed, and you were not equipped to deal with the weight of that –

You shook away the thought. Back when you worked for Cyberlife you’d fancied yourself some kind of doctor, spare the fact that you healed biocomponents and code rather than flesh and bone. And this was barely different from a team of nurses stripping a patient in preparation for major surgery, no? In any case, it had to be done, so you situated yourself in a position where you could hook your arms underneath his (or, what was left of them anyways) and with a whole lot more strength than you expected to use, you hefted him into a sitting position. With his dead weight still leaning on you, the corners of your eyebrows drew upwards in an expression of discomfort as you slipped your hands up the back of the Cyberlife default PL600 uniform shirt and pulled it over his head. You laid him back down a little less gently than you would have liked.

You marvelled at the unpredictable oddness of the human psyche when you removed the remaining scraps of his pants with comparative ease, and a whole lot less internal awkwardness. You had to turn around and contemplate that for a second, shaking your head and laughing to yourself in embarrassment, wondering if you were some kind of freak for that, before you once again physically shook the thought from your mind and turned back around so you could get down to business.

But you took a second to admire him first. You never could help yourself with that. You were always amazed at Cyberlife’s ability to take inorganic material and mould it into something that looked so… realistically human. Bar the fact that you could see the places where his body was ripped open to expose plastic and metal parts, the patches where he was missing artificial skin, and the fact that he wasn’t breathing, you might have looked on him and expected him to be warm to the touch, and you tasked with stitching together flesh and not putting together individually manufactured units to create a whole body. Cyberlife was rife with issues, but you had always, always regarded their creations with the same sort of reverence one would a piece of art. And it was moments like these where you were beyond proud of yourself that you knew just how to piece this fractured, mangled form together into a functional whole again.

Which is what you jumped right into doing. This was your specialty. You were one of the best of the best. Ever since you were fired from Cyberlife, you had continued to use your expertise as a repair engineer to help passing deviants, but here? In the lab? This was where you were really in your element. It took creativity to do your job outside the lab but within, you didn’t have to worry about outdated technology failing you, or working with faulty makeshift tools. All you had to focus on was the android in front of you. Being in the repair lab again was electrifying, and you entered a deeper, more exciting state of flow with every metal bone you fixed, every new biocomponent you clicked into its rightful place, every thirium tube and electrical wire you reconnected.

When the PL600 in front of you was as close to fresh off the assembly line as you could get him, it was nearly 8 in the morning, and you felt the exhaustion in your bones. In the fog of your fatigue you had managed to find a sheet (well, more of a plastic tarp used to make thirium spills easier to clean up) to cover him, and you sat in silence just trying to ward off the onset of sleep while you admired your work. After a few minutes you got to your feet and walked over to your jacket to retrieve your phone from your pocket. Only one last thing to do now. You scrolled through your contacts and when you found the name you were looking for, you tapped the call button. You pre-emptively pressed the speaker phone button and began to lazily pace the room.

After a few rings, a voice rang through: “Hello, Y/N.”

“Hello Markus. You told me to call when the – the –’’ your brain was failing you, and your voice was hoarse “ – the fuckin’… boy was repaired.”

“I – yes I did. Did you really already go in? Have you even slept?” Markus’ voice was tinged with concern.

“I left pretty much right away when you told me where he was last night. I got here at – ’’ you pushed a forceful breath through your lips as you wiped your hand down your face “ – fuck, I don’t know, nearly one in the morning? I’ve been working on ‘em ever since.”

“Oh. Well, alright. Don’t wake him up yet. It’s best that you wait until someone else is there, too. Just wait for me, I’ll head out soon,” he said.

“Wait, you’re coming? Alright, uhh – fuck, bring him some clothes, please.”

“Alright Y/N. Try not to pass out,” he sounded teasing on the end of the line, and with a click it went dead.

Well, some coffee couldn’t hurt. You ran your fingers through your hair and raised your arms above your head in a stretch that felt euphoric given your stiff focus for the past seven and a half hours. You walked out the door and into the reception area, blinking in the morning light shining in through the wide glass windows. You made your way over to the staff door and took the keycard out of the back pocket of your jeans, swiping it over the lock. The door slid open and you stepped into the room, yet another set of lights blinking on to reveal the modest staff room. There was a row of lockers on one end, a lunch table in the middle, a beat up looking couch on one wall (in stark contrast to the gleaming, polished seats just on the other side of the door) and –

God, yes. The mini-kitchen. Your focus was immediately on the coffee machine, but you eyed a loaf of bread sitting out on the counter that brought attention to the roiling emptiness in your stomach. A sandwich didn’t sound too bad. You made your way over to the kitchen and immediately opened the cupboard above, selecting a mug that said “#1 Uncle” in multicolored letters and setting it in the coffee machine. You checked whether there was water in it (there was, thank god), and selected a pod from a bin beside the machine, loading it up and pressing the button to brew it. You left it to work and made your way over to the bread, picking it up and inspecting it, and when you were satisfied it wasn’t moldy, you took two slices and laid them flat on the counter before walking over to the fridge and searching it for sandwich ingredients. You took the coffee creamer and sat it next to the coffee machine, before retrieving some sandwich ingredients – sandwich meat, sliced cheese, a tomato, a big head of leafy lettuce in a plastic container labelled “UFD”, some mustard and mayonnaise. And when you had assembled your sandwich and prepared your coffee, you exited the room to find Markus standing outside the door, holding a bag and looking exasperated.

Quickly swallowing a mouthful of sandwich, you rushed to the door as fast as you could without your coffee sloshing onto the floor and let him in.

“I’ve been trying to get in for ten minutes,” he says as you step aside and let him walk past you.

“Eeeeehhh… sorry,” you say, and flash him a smile that goes away fast when you see him look you up and down, eyebrows knitted together in concern. It was then that you looked down to see that you were absolutely covered in blue blood – both fresh and the dark, sludgy, crusty stuff that had been sitting in the PL600’s system for all those months. You looked like a goddamn android murderer with your sleeves rolled up, arms slick with azure fluid, splatters of cerulean all up your front. Not even your socks were spared. You look back up at Markus to meet his eyes.

“Uhh… I was all alone. Shit gets messy in there sometimes. Anyways, lets just get to business here,” you said. You gestured towards the lab door, and started following Markus, eating your sandwich and sipping your coffee all the way.

When you both entered the room, Markus set the bags down on the table next to the door, mentioning that those were the clothes you requested, and walked closer to observe the still form on the table.

“Wow,” he said, a breathless quality to his voice. “You… really are something, Y/N.”

“Oh, yeah?” you said, a little disbelieving tone in your voice. You were well aware you were one of the most proficient repair engineers Cyberlife had seen, but it did you no good to admit it.

“You don’t understand, we weren’t entirely sure it would even be worth trying to repair him in the state he was in, but Connor kept insisting. Kept saying that if anyone could do it, it was you. You continue to amaze me with your skills.”

“I amaze myself sometimes,” you said in a hushed tone. “This guy was in quite possibly the worst state I’ve ever seen an android in. Honestly, ‘really bad shape’ my ass, Markus.”

“Is he ready to wake up?” Markus asked.

“At any time,” you nodded at him, and he gestured towards the android on the table, telling you to do what you had to. You walked over and set your coffee and sandwich down on the rolling tray, activating an angled panel at the head of the stainless steel table he was laying on. You activated a command that would instruct the android to initiate his start up sequence and stepped back to observe beside Markus.

You waited for those few seconds with bated breath. This was the moment you would finally see your work in action, finally meet this android you were supposed to live with for the next eight months, whose insides you had become very intimately acquainted with and yet had never spoken a word to. His LED came on, first shining steady blue, and then spinning yellow as he entered the next phase of the start up sequence. All is going normally so far.

And then his eyes snapped open, he woke with a start and a gasp, LED flashing an angry red as he looked up at the intimidating rotating module on the ceiling, face contorting in fear. He looked to either side, quickly gauging his environment before bolting upright on the table and locking eyes with you and Markus. His expression twisted into one of anger and fear, and he looked about ready to bolt before you raised your hands.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! You’re… completely naked under that sheet,” you blurted out, and when he looked down to confirm you were indeed correct, he seemed to revaluate his impulse to run.

It was then that Markus began to slowly step towards him, hands raised. He spoke to the android on the table in that voice of his, perpetually smooth and calm, always somehow soothing:

“Hello, Daniel.”

#dbh x reader #detroit become human x reader #dbh daniel x reader #dbh daniel #dbh #x.writing

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juryokv-blog · 6 years ago

Note

five times kissed / kanata and wataru

* five times kissed / @crystliz

meeting a god is quite the occasion, even if it’s a false one such as this ! he wholly believes his godhood, does he ? the boy seems to think of wataru & rei as some sort of higher beings too. how amusing ! then, wataru will play along, for who is he to break this reality. ❛ your talents lie in wish granting ? see, i’m a master of magic. would you like to see a trick ? ❜ it’s almost too much fun, entertaining someone whose beliefs in the impossibles of this world is unmoving. he holds kanata’s gaze in his own, the look of childlike wonder in eyes only all the more encouraging & wataru smiles wide.

❛ of course there’s nothing more enchanting than the mystery held in the sea, but i could show you all the land has to offer. fufuhahaha. ♪ would you like a tulip ? daffodil ? some lilies ? ❜ that is this hibiki wataru’s specialty ! pulling flower after flower out of thin air for this god’s viewing pleasure. ❛ oya ? but none of these are befitting of a god. then - a rose ? ❜ the last lingers in hand rather than discarded in kanata’s general direction with the rest, eye contact unwavering as wataru brings rose to lips. no theatrics are spared in his first impressions, a kiss planted upon rose before arm extends back towards this other oddball & flower presses at his lips too. ❛ this is my gift to you, ‘kami’-kun. ~ ♪ ❜

ii.

there’s five of them now. four other individuals who stood on equal ground to wataru & while the name they’ve been given & the force that brought them together may be suspicious in itself . . he couldn’t say he isn’t thankful for these oddballs he’s come to cherish. wataru would never tell the others, cease there be any discontent, but . . he may cherish one above the rest. the way kanata speaks of himself, so mighty & holy, this magician has to stop & listen. who has held his interest like this before ? not many people come to mind, if any.

❛ ‘kami’-kun, i must tell you. ❜ how rude of him to interrupt, though wataru never thought of himself to be such a well mannered person in the first place & the way the latter always looks back at him like he’s about to preach the good word causes something to tug at heart strings. besides, this has to be said ! ❛ you know . . i am no god. neither is rei. we are mere mortals. well . . ! rei i am not so sure about. fufuhaha - ah . . no, you needn’t grant any wish of mine. ❜ he declines the offer before it has a chance to come, knowing kanata would demand a wish from him. even if he believed kanata to have the power to grant any desire, there isn’t anything more he wants than what he has here.

❛ though even as a mortal, i still am powerful, aren’t i ? ❜ wataru’s teasing mostly now. hand reaches across table for kanata’s own, playing with digits & examining flesh before bringing him closer. he is mortal too, even if he & so many others believe otherwise. he must have some desires of his own. wataru presses a short kiss to the back of kanata’s hand as a show of faith. ❛ then allow me to grant the wish of a god some day. ❜

iii.

things had been changing since the unfortunate fall of valkyrie to fine. somehow over night they seemed to be deemed monsters & despise from classmates whom once loved them only grew with each day. it’s becoming clear of the intentions of those scheming behind the scenes, yet they only walk deeper into the traps laid out before them. kanata seems so unbothered, curiously. convinced godhood would save him from being burned at the stake & his growing number of rabid believers almost make it seem impossible to touch him. dread & worry has begun to setting in wataru’s stomach over it all. to kill a god is a inconceivable task, but kanata is human & . . he wishes he’d see that.

❛ your worshipers are quite dedicated. it’s difficult to see you these days, ‘kami’-kun ! ❜ yet he’s managed because this hibiki wataru is a master of trickery & deceit ! up in his hot air balloon no one could find them. at least, that’s what he’d like to believe, but these religious types sure can be . . persistent. even if it’s only for a little while, it has to be good to get kanata away from them. wataru’s stood in the other’s space, an arm placed casually around him & his excuse for that would be how much colder it is this high up in the sky. but really . . he’s felt rather protective of this false god as of late. he wants to keep him selfishly close. with a short glance at the boy beside him & no thought given, wataru presses lips to his cheek. ❛ kanata . . though you are a god, i do hope you’ll rely on me if ever you’re in trouble. ❜

iv.

he isn’t sure how to feel. another oddball has fallen, kanata of all people. yet . . somehow it’s for the better. thanks to a boy with a hero’s heart kanata’s renounced godhood & become human like the rest of them no matter the metaphors used to to liken them to monsters. yes, he’s been cut down, but kanata smiles so much brighter now that it’s almost blinding & wataru can’t look away. the way he radiates when speaking of this boy & the unit he’s joined . . wataru is happy something good could come from something so terrible. he’s also a bit jealous, but that’s nothing he’d ever voice aloud.

❛ fufuhaha - you seem to be having much more fun as a hero than you ever did a god ! ❜ he isn’t one to let petty jealousy get the best of him, kanata’s happiness & well being is of far more import & he really is thankful to that morisawa for achieving something he wasn’t sure he himself could do. ❛ i think this role suits you much better & with that outfit - you really do look like a proper hero ! ❜ hands toy with the edges of kanata’s unit jacket, inspect the sleek new uniform. personally, the power ranger look is not his style, but . . the other boy pulls it off well. especially when sporting such a genuine smile along with it. ah, wataru can’t help himself, leaning forth & pressing a soft kiss to kanata’s forehead. the gesture not as meaningless as he hopes it comes off.

today is the day this hibiki wataru will die. there’s no need for tears, this is the fate he’s accepted & he would be reborn anew after his fall like a phoenix from the ashes. this is his role, after all the villain who must be slain by the main character. wataru will play his part, not because there’s no stopping it, but because he understands why it must happen ! . . that’s not to say his heart doesn’t break for the other casualties of this war. shu, kanata, rei, & their adorable boy they’ve given everything to protect. be it unfortunate so many had to be cut down to pave the path for a better future of this school, yet there’s no rewinding the hands of time & the most wataru can do now is prepare the performance of a lifetime for his upcoming execution !

while he invited his dear oddballs to come see him off to death, ( regardless of any disagreements for actions being taken, it’s only right that they be together on this last day. ) he hadn’t anticipated any desperate acts to change fate until right before he’d step onto stage, as most dramatic scripts went. ❛ you’re a bit early for my performance, kanata & a little late to catch my rehearsal. i’d give you a preview, but my secret weapon already left ! ❜ hokuto has gone to finish final preparations for their portion of the live, thankfully. wataru involved him only to ensure a valuable lesson is learned by his beloved junior, but there’s no need for him to be here for this. the air is tense & it’s almost suffocating, wataru’s heart growing tight for reasons he couldn’t place despite his attempts at light jests.

❛ . . have you any words about what i’m going to do, then perhaps it’s better left unsaid. i understand natsume’s inability to see why i must, he’s still a child, but if it comes from you . . then i might . . ❜ ah, how uncharacteristic of him to think such a thing ! he cannot let his mind be swayed by the heart, by the look in kanata’s eyes & the guilt building in chest over a wish he still couldn’t grant. it had to be kanata here before him now, didn’t it ? for who else could challenge the decisions of a martyr than the person with a hand around his heart ? wataru can’t help but think there’s too many things left unsaid between them for this to be his final day, yet it’s too late & he’d be cruel to speak them now. somehow harmless flirting & words with hidden meanings turn to real feeling & he couldn’t pinpoint when it happened, only that he’d realized not soon enough. they’re engulfed in war & nothing could flourish in such an environment, it’s better left like this.

but there kanata goes, saying things as he pleases as he always does without the consideration of consequences & wataru thinks how unfair life is to hear those three words on a day like this. he’s stunned silent, considering options. there’s a part of him that wants so badly to say it back, the part where his heart resides, but then the mind has to remind him how such things shouldn’t be said so recklessly. he can’t. yet feelings & longing can’t be suppressed entirely either & what makes a person more careless than raw emotion ? so caution is thrown to the wind, wataru forgets ideals & repercussions momentarily to reach for kanata, hands at his face coaxing him closer until lips meet for an overdue kiss.

there’s not enough room for regret with all he’s baring on his shoulders, forehead resting against kanata’s when he draws back, & he can’t think about how this will affect them later either. the pressing matters now are the live about to start & the sacrifice he’ll make & hopefully kanata . . as well as the others could understand. ❛ . . please watch me & don’t take your eyes off me. ❜

#hibiki wataru ——— ic.#crystliz #.........................................bye.#im literally dying

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theycallmesera · 2 years ago

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SEANNA’s BOOK REVIEWS: FINDING CHIKA

“… He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”

- Mark 10:14

What started out as a simple meme sharing of Seanna in messenger, took a greater turn of events when she was given this book on her birthday titled "Finding Chika" by her "Tita." And the rest, as they say, is history.

Warning to my fellow Filipinos: this is very different from the "chika" or "chismis" you know as "gossip." May y’all read this book with prepared hearts and appreciate it just as you have known this book as a meme.

This memoir book, written by Mitch Albom, recalls the life of Chika before and after she met the Albom couple and the orphanage. "Survivor from birth" may be how this girl may be described. On her 3rd day of life here on Earth, January 12, 2010, she was lucky enough to survive the very devastating and destructive earthquake that happened in Haiti. A country struck once again with tragedy, for it wiped out nearly 3% of its population. Sadly, part of that 3% was her mother. Although she was taken under the care of her godmother after the sudden death of her mother, she was later on brought to Mitch’s orphanage.

However, at five years old, Chika was then diagnosed with a life-threatening brain disease called DIPG, an inoperable stage IV brain tumor that limited her movement and drooped her face. This makes way for the journey of Mitch Albom and his wife, Janine, to find a cure for Chika Jeune’s illness. What began as a hopeful trip to Detroit in search of a cure and a safe return to Haiti has evolved into a two-year long and purposeful journey that is meant to be told in the future. In the book, Finding Chika, you will read about a series of silly, imaginary conversations between Chika and Mitch and special lessons along the way.

"Beautiful, brave, faithful, confident, and optimistic." That’s how I found and viewed Chika. To sum it up, she was a beautiful picture of God’s love and children. She was brave, like Aslan (of Narnia), to overcome strife, poverty, and various medical procedures. A faithful lamb and a lamp of God that guided the couple and their friends until the end. This little girl was confident and proud enough to shout and sing her love for God, and an optimistic human, still able to appreciate the rainbow during the storm. Whatever was standing in her way (especially her disease), she would always fight back using these four characteristics.

Like what they say and as she implied throughout her 7 years of living, "You can never buy faith." I knew that she had gone through much more compared to me, and it made me feel blessed that I was born in a healthier environment compared to Haiti. From childhood up to today, during these teenage years, I never missed out on the latest trends in clothing, travel, gadgets, and food. Sure, I’m richer than she in those materialistic things, yet as a Christian like Chika, I felt much more attached to her very courageous faith and spirit. Her enormous trust in the unseen could be more mature than adults' and mine also.

As I have mentioned earlier, reading this book made me realize all the days of her life were somehow meant to be told in the future. Maybe God lets us see and/or take care of children so we can look at a different perspective in life. That we should not always take everything seriously and be grateful for each new day. A day given is a miracle, a chance to be better and move on from something. That's the thing that stood out to me the most while reading "Finding Chika." Like right now, I’m very thankful that I was given a chance to read Finding Chika and write this book review on Tumblr.

Sadly, in spite of the whirlwind adventure Chika had with the Alboms and her friends, she still wasn’t able to survive DIPG. She would’ve turned 12 last January. I never met her in person, but with the way Mr. Mitch and Ms. Janine recount her life and experiences, she will be terribly missed. Whatever she has gone through here on Earth, I’m sure this child of God is up there in heaven with Jesus, running around and healed from her sickness.

To everyone who wants to get back into reading, please read Finding Chika. It worked for me and gave me many more lessons than the past few books I’ve read. It’s my most annotated one so far. Plus, the profits from this book will go to Have Faith Haiti Orphanage.

I end this review with an acknowledgement to my friend Tita Chabs for gifting me this wonderful book. It gave and taught me many valuable lessons about faith, children, families, and, of course, love. Mwah!

#findingchika #mitch albom #havefaithhaiti #blessed #thankful #birthday #theycallmesera #booksbooksbooks #books

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itsahmed4455 · 6 years ago

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Introduction

Technology has made rapid strides in the past few decades and these technological changes have brought new inventions and products into our lives. Internet is now ubiquitous. Medical science has made it possible for heart and kidneys to be transplanted but that is not all; it may even be possible to transplant brain from one individual to the other. These changes make it possible to not only change human body, but also the possibilities of life extension are boundless. Automobile companies are coming up with technology that will make it possible for driverless cars to be introduced to our roads as soon as in the next 5 years. These changes in technology also bring fear and apprehension in the minds of many people of the kind that are usually related to panic about new technology or techno-panic as it is called. This kind of techno-panic is not a new phenomenon as whenever a new technology has been introduced, it has raised concerns and even fears about the social changes that such technology may bring. In this anthology, such technologies or new changes are discussed along with the concerns that such technologies inspire in people. This anthology notes the scope of these new technologies in terms of what can be done and what kind of concerns are raised by these new technologies.

Topics

I. Techno-Panic through History

Techno-panic is related to paranoia and fear in response to new technology. Thierer (2012) says that such paranoia is caused in humans because we are naturally risk adverse and not good judges of risks. We have a survival instinct and the awareness of our poor comparative risk analysis skills, due to which many of us easily give into techno-panics. Techno-panic is a phenomenon that can be seen at every point of important technological inventions throughout history. Recent techno-panic can be seen in context of Internet (Thierer, 2012). Although, history shows that most techno panics are temporary and humans generally adapt to the new technology in time; there is always a short-term danger of policymakers adopting measures to control the technology and this may lead to restriction or arrest of the technological development (Thierer, 2012). There is also the possibility of rising tensions in the society due to the panic (Thierer, 2012).

As we saw in the module related to Techno-Panic, and discussed in the class discussions, Techno-panic is nothing new. However, the ubiquitous nature of Internet has led to greater fear among people, especially in terms of social effects, such as threat to minors from paedophiles and cyberporn, and general impacts from fake news (Herrman, 2017 ). Concerns about technology’s impact on society were also seen when the printing press was first invented (Wirtz, 2017). When the printing press was

invented by Johannes Gutenberg, many monks were laid off work as Bible was begun to be printed in the press (Wirtz, 2017). This led to the moral panic regarding impact of the invention on those involved in the industry (Wirtz, 2017). It was also thought that too much information would have a negative impact on the society, which may not be capable of processing such information (Wirtz, 2017). Similar concerns are seen today with regard to information technology, in what is being seen as a ‘threat inflation’ (Thierer, 2013). However, as technology becomes mainstream the fears are set aside and the society accepts new technology.

II. The Future of the Body

With the immense development of medical science, there is now technology and science, which will possibly allow transplant of head in human beings. The protocol developed by Sergio Canavero is possibly one step further in that direction (Canavero, 2013). As per this protocol, the surgeon is to sever the spinal cords of the the recipient (person with diseased body) and the donor (brain dead person with a healthy brain and head) and then fuse the recipient head with the body of the donor (Canavero, 2013).Needless to say, there are ethical as well as medical issues that are involved in such a procedure. Some critics have gone to say that such procedures are impossible because the human body will not accept such transplants even with heavy doses of immunosuppressants for suppressing the immune system to make sure that the transplant is not rejected by the body (Pultarova, 2017). However, even if the head transplant procedure has not become a reality, the discussion on it does beg the question as to the future of the human body. Another issue that has come up for discussion in this context is that of chip in the body (Clapperton, 2018). On the plus side, chip in the body can be a useful passive devise that can help the wearer to keep track of his vital signs and receive medical treatment if needed (Clapperton, 2018). Microchips are already being used in pets, which allows them to be tracked by their humans if they are lost (Savini, 2018). With technology becoming smaller and smaller, it is now possible that many humans too will get chips imbedded so that technology becomes a part of their skin (Savini, 2018). In fact, there are already people who have chosen to do so as part of their employment (Clapperton, 2018). As we discussed in the class, this new technology can be very useful in saving lives, but there are fears in this area as well. While the fears are justified, the scientists will find a way to make things work, and like other technological innovations, this innovation will also be helpful for the society.

III. Intelligent Systems

Once upon a time, the thought that there could be cars that can drive without a human driver was unthought of. However, with recent change and development in technology, the possibility that we could soon see driverless cars is not so remote anymore. Automobile makers, Lexus, BMW, and Mercedes, are already playing with the technology for making driverless cars and Tesla has tested its driverless Autopilot system already (Moldrich & Woollaston, 2018). One may wonder how it is possible for a machine to drive on the road, but it is possible with the help of sensors which interact with the external environment, making it possible for the car to drive autonomously (Moldrich & Woollaston, 2018).

It is estimated that by 2012, there will be more than 100,000 autonomous vehicles used around the world (Naughton, 2018). This does raise some ethical concerns, predominantly in the area of human safety, however, Automakers have argued that the use of driverless cars will lead to a sharp reduction in highway deaths(Naughton, 2018). Another concern is in the area of employment as driverless cars would threaten the existence of repair shops, trucking companies and car dealerships (Gross, 2018). However, the advertising industry may flourish as the aesthetics of driverless cars may involve bigger backseats with entertainment centres that allow the backseat audience time to catch their shows in the car(Gross, 2018). As debated in the class discussions, there is a possibility of major social change with the advent of the driverless cares. However, law will also have to respond to the possibilities of different legal issues that are involved in accidents involving driverless cars, as the concept of liability may be different with respect to these cars (Calo, 2018). In the US, with the further evolution of common law of torts, it is possible that the American courts will adapt to the legal issues involved in driverless car, as they have already done with many other technological inventions such as robots (Calo, 2018).

IV. Making and Things

3D printing has now made it possible for people to make 3D guns, and a settlement between gun-rights activists and the government allows gun-rights activists to post 3D printable gun plans online (Williams, 2018). In 2013, Cody Wilson had posted plans for a 3D printed handgun that he called "The Liberator", which led to the lawsuit regarding the legality of such plans (Williams, 2018). In class discussions highlighted the problem with such guns is that these are do-it-yourself firearms and they will not have serial numbers, making them untraceable. On the other hand, some experts have rubbished the claims that guns can be made with the help of 3D printed plans (Tynan, 2018). Nevertheless, these guns do pose ethical and legal concerns that need to be taken seriously. 3D printing will allow people to make plastic weapons, that may not be detected in the airports metal detectors (Tynan, 2018). Another problem is that there may be people who are prevented from legally owning a gun, but such people may be able to circumvent such restrictions by printing these plans and making their own untraceable weapons (Tynan, 2018). Thus, convicted felons as well as the mentally ill, who are not legally permitted to own weapons, may gain access to weapons, making gun control laws useless (Tynan, 2018). 3D technology is not limited to gun making; it can be used for other purposes, such as, food making (Wiggers, 2017). 3D printing innovations have now made it possible for people to print and cook foods on a mass scale (Wiggers, 2017). With the advent of this technology, we are seeing commercial kitchens, bakeries, and confectionaries employing 3D food printers for making foods and saving time and effort (Wiggers, 2017). While ethical concerns do not affect food printing, the articles and class discussions highlighted definite concerns with respect to medicine printing. While medicine printing may cut down on wait time at the pharmacies, it could also pave the way for people to synthesize dangerous drugs or intoxicant drugs from their homes (Service, 2018). Yet another development in this area is the ability to print human organs. These organs can be used to save many human lives (Meghna, 2018). While this technology is still in the nascent stage, but in future it will be used to create viable human organs.

V. Cyborgs and Bioart

Cyborgs have now become a reality with the advent of the technology that combines medical science with cybernetics and allows the embedding of cybernetic characteristics in human beings (Towers-Clark, 2018). In this sense, cyborgs are simply people who have certain cybernetically enhanced qualities (Towers-Clark, 2018). Cyborgs, such as those seen in sci-fi movies, are somehow terrifying to human beings (Fratto, 2018). It has been argued that humans beings with their extensive use of smartphones, have basically become cyborgs too (Fratto, 2018). There is a concern that cyborgs will take over our lives as human beings because if they have artificial intelligence, they are capable of doing everything that we can. This means that they can also do our jobs and do them better because of artificial intelligence (Fratto, 2018). There are ethical concern that are involved in the use of artificial intelligence.

Bioart can be very useful for the purpose of improving the quality of life for those who are afflicted with certain disabilities, which comes in the way of their enjoying life at the fullest (Nelson, 2013). An example can be seen in the case of Neil Harbisson, who was born with achromatopsia (extreme colorblindness), but is now able to experience colors, due to specialized electronic eye, also called eyeborg, which allows him to perceive colors (Nelson, 2013). By being equipped with such bioart, people can also become like cyborgs. However, human cyborgs present issues with the law, as seen in the case of Meow Meow, who installed a travel chip into his hand (Ustik, 2018). Another issue that comes up in this context of conflict between cyborgs and the law and ethics, is that enhancement technology with implants can extend life past natural terms, and also make cybernetically enhanced individuals who are better than others at athletics, or certain jobs (Ustik, 2018). The emerging theme in the class discussions was that while some of the peers were exited about the technology, others had their doubts. While both sides have valid concerns, the benefits of this technology has to be weighed against the negatives effects; and only if the benefits are more than the harms, the technology should be adopted. As some peers commented that negatives effects needs to be mitigated effectively so that most benefit can be reaped from this technological innovation.

Conclusion

Any new technology introduced into this world will come with a set of ethical concerns and potential legal issues or concerns. However, as the history of techno-panic shows us, it is not appropriate to shoot down ideas on new technologies, simply because there are concerns about the way the technology may lead to certain social changes. It is however important to raise such concerns and even address them in order to make sure that new technologies do not have adverse social effects. A discussion or debate on ethical concerns involving new technologies also helps to find solutions or responses for such adverse effects and for that reason, such discussions are important, and must be encouraged. That being said, techno-panic should be avoided because these may lead to arresting development or change, when such change may actually be welcome and good for human society in general. Therefore, care must be taken to ensure that discussions on new technology and the ethical issues posed by these do not become oppressive to inventors and those who may have new ideas for future technology. As such, a balance needs to be drawn between being circumspect about new technology and being encouraging of inventors.

References

Calo, R. (2018). Is the Law Ready for Driverless Cars? Law and Technology, 61(5), 34-36.

Canavero, S. (2013). HEAVEN: The head anastomosis venture Project outline for the first human head transplantation with spinal linkage (GEMINI). Surgical neurology international, 4(1), S335–342.

Clapperton, G. (2018, July 16). Would You Let Your Boss Put a Chip in Your Body? A small number of employees are agreeing to subcutaneous implants — and the idea is spreading.Retrieved December 2018, from Medium: https://medium.com/s/futurehuman/would-you-let-your-boss-put-a-chip-in-your-body-83f9c8fe631c

Fratto, N. (2018, July 17). I’m a Cyborg; You’re a Cyborg.Retrieved December 2018, from Hackernoon: https://hackernoon.com/im-a-cyborg-you-re-a-cyborg-f54ec6349a45

Gross, T. (2018, December 10). The Revolution Will Be Driverless: Autonomous Cars Usher In Big Changes.Retrieved December 2018, from NPR: https://www.npr.org/2018/12/10/675254096/the-revolution-will-be-driverless-autonomous-cars-usher-in-big-changes

Herrman, J. (2017 , Dec. 5). The Return of the Techno-Moral Panic.Retrieved December 2018, from NY Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/05/magazine/the-return-of-the-techno-moral-panic.html

Meghna. (2018, 11 July). Rapid 3D Printing Of High-Res, Viable Human Organs Possible. Retrieved from https://www.evolving-science.com/bioengineering/3d-human-organs-00719

Moldrich, C., & Woollaston, V. (2018, October 18). Driverless cars of the future: How far away are we from autonomous cars?Retrieved December 2018, from Alphr: https://www.alphr.com/cars/1001329/driverless-cars-of-the-future-how-far-away-are-we-from-autonomous-cars

Naughton, K. (2018, October 26). Driverless Cars.Retrieved December 2018, from Bloomberg: https://www.bloomberg.com/quicktake/driverless-cars

Nelson, B. (2013, April 25). 7 real-life human cyborgs See how bionic technology has enhanced people's lives with everything from robotic limbs to electronic eyes.Retrieved December 2018, from MNN: https://www.mnn.com/leaderboard/stories/7-real-life-human-cyborgs

Pultarova, T. (2017, November 20). Why Human Head Transplants Will Never Work.Retrieved from www.livescience.com/: https://www.livescience.com/60987-human-head-transplants-will-never-work.html

Savini, L. (2018, March 26). Human Microchipping Is Here, and It’s About to Rock Your Skin’s World Soon it will open your front door, start your car, and provide your entire medical history.Retrieved December 2018, from Allure: https://www.allure.com/story/rfdi-microchip-implant-in-skin

Service, R. (2018, January 18). You could soon be manufacturing your own drugs—thanks to 3D printing.Retrieved December 2018, from Science Mag: https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2018/01/you-could-soon-be-manufacturing-your-own-drugs-thanks-3d-printing

Thierer, A. (2012, March 4). The Six Things that Drive "Technopanics".Retrieved December 2018, from Forbes: https://www.forbes.com/sites/adamthierer/2012/03/04/the-six-things-that-drive-technopanics/#3256d7aa70b0

Thierer, A. (2013). Technopanics, Threat Inflation, and the Danger of an Information Technology Precautionary Principle. The Minnesota Journal of Law, Science and Technology, 14(1), 309-386.

Towers-Clark, C. (2018, October 1). Cyborgs Are Here And You'd Better Get Used To It.Retrieved December 2018, from Forbes: https://www.forbes.com/sites/charlestowersclark/2018/10/01/cyborgs-are-here-and-youd-better-get-used-to-it/#526b48ad746a

Tynan, D. (2018, August 20). 'I wouldn't waste my time': firearms experts dismiss flimsy 3D-printed guns.Retrieved December 2018, from Guarfian: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/jul/31/3d-printed-guns-danger-problems-plastic

Ustik, G. (2018, October 30). Real-life cyborgs are fighting for their rights with art.Retrieved December 2018, from NextWeb: https://thenextweb.com/tnw-answers/2018/10/03/real-life-cyborgs-are-fighting-for-their-rights-with-art/

Wiggers, K. (2017, April 18). From pixels to plate, food has become 3D printing’s delicious new frontier.Retrieved December 2018, from Digital Trends: https://www.digitaltrends.com/cool-tech/3d-food-printers-how-they-could-change-what-you-eat/

Williams, D. (2018, July 20). Americans can legally download 3-D printed guns starting next month.Retrieved December 2018, from CNN: https://edition.cnn.com/2018/07/19/us/3d-printed-gun-settlement-trnd/index.html

Wirtz, B. (2017, October 17). Today's Techno-Panic Would Have Killed the Printing Press .Retrieved December 2018, from Fee.org: https://fee.org/articles/todays-techno-panic-would-have-killed-the-printing-press/

===========

Links for easy readability

Techno-Panic through History

https://www.forbes.com/sites/adamthierer/2012/03/04/the-six-things-that-drive-technopanics/#3256d7aa70b0

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/05/magazine/the-return-of-the-techno-moral-panic.html

https://fee.org/articles/todays-techno-panic-would-have-killed-the-printing-press/

The Future of the Body

https://www.livescience.com/60987-human-head-transplants-will-never-work.html

https://medium.com/s/futurehuman/would-you-let-your-boss-put-a-chip-in-your-body-83f9c8fe631c

https://www.allure.com/story/rfdi-microchip-implant-in-skin

Intelligent Systems

https://www.alphr.com/cars/1001329/driverless-cars-of-the-future-how-far-away-are-we-from-autonomous-cars

https://www.bloomberg.com/quicktake/driverless-cars

https://www.npr.org/2018/12/10/675254096/the-revolution-will-be-driverless-autonomous-cars-usher-in-big-changes

Making and Things

https://www.evolving-science.com/bioengineering/3d-human-organs-00719

https://edition.cnn.com/2018/07/19/us/3d-printed-gun-settlement-trnd/index.html

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/jul/31/3d-printed-guns-danger-problems-plastic

https://www.digitaltrends.com/cool-tech/3d-food-printers-how-they-could-change-what-you-eat/

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2018/01/you-could-soon-be-manufacturing-your-own-drugs-thanks-3d-printing

Cyborgs and Bioart

https://www.forbes.com/sites/charlestowersclark/2018/10/01/cyborgs-are-here-and-youd-better-get-used-to-it/#526b48ad746a

https://hackernoon.com/im-a-cyborg-you-re-a-cyborg-f54ec6349a45

https://www.mnn.com/leaderboard/stories/7-real-life-human-cyborgs

https://thenextweb.com/tnw-answers/2018/10/03/real-life-cyborgs-are-fighting-for-their-rights-with-art/

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