#but honestly I just think it��d be a fun little setup

[theautotrophic]

my girl Violette!!!!

Dumping all the lore I have about my stupid little girlfailure bisexual radiostatic fankid <<<3333

So basically, she's a loser, a fossil, and I don't mean to sound hostile - but the demon is a coward >>:D

She's an absolute LOSER GIRLFAILURE just like her dad <3

Idk know how to explain it honestly, like, just think of the biggest, most dumbest of ass, girl loser you can think of and that's her

Just an absolutely deranged loser idiot

She runs a company with her brother Veer (maybe streaming or smth 🤔🤔 I haven't figured it out yet). She's the "creative mind" (kills people) and he's the brains behind the operation

A company name I thought of might be Viedio Enterprises?

For her powers they're a bit of a mixture between Vox and Alastor

She can travel via shadows the same as Alastor

She can use other people's shadows to puppeteer them

She's got a connection to the Internet and television the same as Vox because of her head and antenna

Can play things through her radio and on her screen and manipulate devices around her

Connection to radiowaves

She can probably traverse the Internet

Can corrupt technology

Basically, she would be an extremely powerful overlord if she wasn't such an idiot

I think I'm gonna have like two different timelines for this AU since I couldn't decide if I wanted them to be adults or kids when the hotel opens and Alastor returns after 7 years

Cause I think it would be really funny if Vox accidentally created her (and her brother Veer who I'll probably post for later once I actually make a good drawing of him) while Alastor was away for seven years and Alastor comes back and learns he has kids and is like "how the fuck-"

But also their adult personalties are so fun and I'd love to think about how they would react to Alastor going missing for 7 years (cause if they were adults he def would have raised them with Vox) and I just think the potential in that AU is more fun, while them being kids I can just think of a lot of art and funny moments to draw

So, in the case where they're younger Vox would accidentally create them a few months after Alastor has left when he's super desperate to find him. He would be like doing some type of demonic magic summoning circle type shit to try and summon Alastor or find out where he is but he has actually no idea what he's doing. So he's got like this whole setup sort of thing with like his blood and Alastor's hair in this wholeass satanic circle. And so he does the spell. And instead of summoning Alastor it like combines their DNA and BOOM, congrats ur a single father now. And now Vox just has two kids to raise. (Yes I thought of all this just because mpr3g makes me uncomfy (but also this scenario is both very funny and kind of sad to me and I will be drawing it at some point. probably)).

OR

if they were older, like in their twenties by the time Alastor comes back idk Vox would probably still accidentally create them somehow I'd have to think about it

So yeah ill probably just do both versions and do what I want

Anyways! Send me asks about her if you'd like I'd love to talk about her :]

[jackfrombaskinrobbins]

baking contest w/ the avengers!!

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

word count: 1k

request: yes / no

original request: OMG CAN U PLS DO THE AVENGERS IF THEY HAD LIKE A COOKING OR BAKING CONTEST?

dynamic: avengers x teen!reader (teenage avenger series)

characters: reader, scott lang, nick fury, clint barton, harley keener, peter parker, miles morales, tony stark, pietro maximoff etc

a/n: HECK YEAH I CAN!!!! i loved this idea sm i was so excited to get this request :D i'm getting back into writing so sorry if it's a lil bad lol. also guys i'm gonna open requests again so feel free to submit!! i have a lot of muse for spiderverse stuff atm hehe so i may post again today!! tysm, hope u enjoy!!!

taglist: @shefollowedthestars @thecloudedmind @ayohitmanddaeng

(fill out this form to be on my taglist!)

-----------------------✰----------------------

so there’s this thing that the avengers do

in order to do team bonding

they’ll assign partners in the beginning of the year

& each month, a new set of partners will choose something to do

and it’s always super fun

like that’s how u ended up at the trampoline park last month

& how scott ended up with a broken arm rip king

so this month had to be something a little less dangerous

kinda funny when u think about it like it’s literally the avengers they’re in dangerous situations all the time

and while you wanted to do something different, certain ~forces~ kept preventing that

like y’all were watching a movie a couple weeks ago

and fury came on the screen 

how he could hack into it idk hes nick fury dude he can do anything

but he just looked at the camera and said “no more dumbass trampoline parks”

HAH

so yeah it had to be something tame 

anyway so this month was you and scott!!!!

best duo ever!!!!!!

so you had to plan what to do

& scott refused to go skydiving bc that was your first choice

smh scott it would be so fun!!!!

his arm was still broken & he said that was why he wouldn’t go but like…. scott we know ur a scaredy-cat

anyway you were trying to decide when suddenly he was like

“y/n!!!! i totally forgot! the great british baking show just premiered and i promised clint we could watch it together!”

and that gave you an idea

scott LOVED it

but y’all needed a couple things before 

first of all, u needed baking supplies

when i say baking supplies i mean BAKING SUPPLIES

there’s like a thousand avengers at this point bruh :’)

scott almost got one of those instacart orders for it but u hated the thought of an instacart person getting ur crazy order

so it was store time :D 

let’s just say tony’s credit card was used very well that day 😛

then it was time to pick teams

not everyone had to participate

wanda said she wanted in

so pietro joined too which was slightly concerning

the man literally burnt a bowl of cereal once

and ur probably thinking “how—”

EXACTLY

only you and harley saw it and honestly it rendered u both speechless

tony joined too

but you and scott made sure he knew that there could be NO robots 

vision asked to be a judge

scott said “vis, we really appreciate that but… uh… don’t you like not eat?”

“ah! you are correct, scott. i do not consume food in the traditional way. however, given my vast knowledge & global database, i do believe that i would be a very good judge of presentation and overall ingredient chemistry.”

“alright, you do that buddy!”

also off topic but why do i just know that tony would give vision the nickname “chat gpt”

 sorry i had to get that out ANYWAYY

you got a few more people to participate 

sam and bucky wanted to be a team, and harley peter & miles wanted to be a team too

yknow what that was fine by you

so the day came.

you had turned one of the empty conference rooms into a crazy kitchen setup

thx party city for the confetti & balloons!!! ;)

in came your loyal hosts, scott & clint

(clint begged you and scott to let him host, he kept using a british accent until you said yes & just trust me it was good that he finally stopped)

you, natasha, and vision were the taste & presentation judges

you surveyed scott’s & your work, pretty proud of how it turned out

“ALRIGHTY THEN, READY, SET, OFF THE BLIMEY!!”

vision shot you a quizzical look, but you just shook your head.

scott & clint rly were a…. hosting duo

yep, the most… hosting duo of all time

the hostiest hosters to ever host

omg the funniest thing was that they kept eating the cookie dough from harley peter & miles’ station

they literally had to push them away

peter & miles webbed their hands shut HAHA

everyone else seemed to be doing pretty well though

aside from their usual arguing, bucky & sam seemed to actually be making something good

wanda was perfect as per usual

and pietro was zipping around the kitchen, causing tony’s flour to rise up in his face

steve came over, blowing a whistle and pointed at pietro

you and scott had enlisted him to be the referee

yes, cooking shows don’t normally have referees, but think abt the ppl we’re dealing with here 😀

anyways finally time was up!!!

but you and scott still had a trick up your sleeves.

“and now presenting our special guest judge… GIVE IT UP FOR NICK FURY!!”

yes that’s right, he had said yes to this

after you promised to finish a mission report for him

and bought him some new eyepatches

which was why he was wearing a navy blue one complete with rhinestones

pietro was up first, and he placed four slices of chocolate cake in front of all the judges.

“i gotta say p, this actually looks really good!” you spoke, and he beamed.

natasha didn’t look so sure

“as y/n says, it does look alright on the outside. however, it does seem like there’s some sort of… strange ingredient in the chemical makeup… i am going to analyze for a moment.” said vision

“aw, let’s just eat the damn thing already!” fury spoke, and so you all did.

“mm, it’s good!!” you said, and natasha nodded in agreement.

but did not have the same reaction. 

he had stopped chewing, and his eye had narrowed. he was giving pietro a death stare.

“uhm… fury? what is … jolly wrong with you?” scott asked, his british accent wavering.

“yeah… guv’nr?” said clint.

“who the hell puts hot sauce in a damn chocolate cake. you better start runnin’ maximoff, because i’m comin’ for you!!” fury spoke, getting progressively louder.

“that one was supposed to be for y/n- i mean vision! yeah! oops. um…” pietro spoke, before disappearing from the room in a quick streak.

after that, fury left. 

and that's why now cooking/baking competitions are banned on the premises of SHIELD!!

-----------------------✰----------------------

[nerdyenby]

Green time :D I’m watching Oli

This is the most awake I’ve ever felt, Oli is magic, I swear

*Barks* “That’s a gecko sound” yup

CAMO OLI!!!

Ok but I’m legit confused because he’s actually in the room but is he greenscreening a picture of the room onto himself in the actual room being videoed??? Y’know what, I’m not gonna question it

NO HE HAS A GREENSCREEN OF HIS ROOM IN HIS ROOM IM LOSING IT

It would take at least two degrees to figure out Oli’s stream setup, I swear /pos

“It’s very unlikely that we’ll win” mhm yep no comment

“‘People have ads king they can’t see’ Oh I’m sorry, is that my problem??? They have the sub button don’t they?!?!!??” You guys don’t understand how much I love this man /p

“Obviously a great team: we got skill, we got passion, we got drive. What we don’t got is decision making” so real of them, honestly

Punz and Krinios are Oli antis, real and true

Oli what do you MEAN that is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen (pictured below because I can’t not)

WHAT IS BEKYS STREAM??!??!???!!?!??

Team captain Oli o7

Ah yes Gene Ellie

Oli is the absolute silliest

Can’t believe Oli Orionsound bullied Jojo off the server /lh

Oli and Beky are having so much fun, their energy is unmatched

“‘What happened to Quig?’ Died. Sad. Actually he went to North Carolina, which I think is worse”

“I just want to talk tactics with the bois” “What, am I not allowed?” “No, you’re one of the bois, Bekyamon”

Can’t believe Punz has never met a British person before /j

Krinios gets to have depth perception for once, good for them

Them all cracking up and Krinios’s “That’s so stupid!!” while still laughing, that’s the Orionsound difference right there

“I’m usually bottom ten, if I suddenly up my game, we’re cracked” Where’s that dodgeball ‘gift of prophecy meme’

FINALLY SOME HYPE FOR BINGO (it’s only good with pvp imo but I love some positive energy)

Bingo but Fast

The absolute chaos of thinking they had to get 45 of every item 😭

My bingo bois <333

They’re killing it!!!!

Was Oli the only one to discover the veggie points in bingo? If so that’s so cool and quirky of him

“You really fell off king” “Thanks man” is it too soon to say I love Krinios? I haven’t watched much of his content but they’re funny and gnc and that’s enough for me

“Maybe I was built for scuffed” little does he know…

“Bingo but second?” BEKY 😭

I literally thought “maybe the real elevator is the friends we made along the way” a second and a half before Oli said that exact thing

Battle Box

This team is so strong actually

Them chanting to eat the carrots

Their fight against blue was so clean

Them running around frantically trying to break and eat blocks is so silly

OLI’S POPPING OFF!!!!!

Punz holding a grudge from MCC13 😂

“That’s a hot leaderboard if I’ve ever seen it” they’re all so cool

Why are they talking about fonts and why is Oli doing so in a sultry voice 😭

Hole in the Wall

This team is so good at communicating and adapting, they’re so epic

It sounded like Krinios just straight up told Oli to cut his hands off and then said “Why not?” Lmao

The floor just falling out from below Oli is so comical

“We keep muchin’” so true

“I’m switching to Punz mode” “Yeah!!” Punz being supportive my beloved

Survival Games

“You can’t place blocks” “Not usually, but this is scuffed Punz” so true Oli

Punz just freaking died L

“Punz it’s okay, don’t forget: I’m Punz now” Oli is absorbing his power as we speak

Something about the way Oli swoops is so satisfying

Oli is so “haha I’m in danger”core

Beky and Oli supremacy!!!! They popped off!!!

WHAT IS THIS HALFTIME SHOW??!!!?!!???! I’m down but what’s the backstory here??

Well now I have to watch red lmao

TGTTOSAWAF

They all got top 10?!?!!??!! They popped off!!!

WHY ARE THEY ALL SO GOOD AT THIS????

“First is good, I think” so true Oli

3 green in the top 4, they’re so cracked

“Guys I think the second eye is helping me” He’s just too powerful when they have depth perception

WHY ARE OLI’S PREDICTIONS SO ON POINT??? He legit was just like “you don’t think we’re gonna get blockle? Really?” He was so confident my goodness

Sands of Time

Oli sand daddy :D

He’s doing such a good job giving instructions and getting everyone settled

Beky calling the extra something after the portal immediately and she’s right

They actually handled the jumpscare so well what the heck

“Oh it’s just giving us anxiety?!??? Oh my god, that’s so mean!!!” So real Krin

Oli’s such a good sandkeeper I could cry (I have covid and my eyes are watering every 10 minutes don’t judge me)

I’m so unreasonably proud of Oli’s performance this MCC, he’s doing amazing

Their comms are so good 😭😭😭

“It’s a hard jump kinda” “No it’s not, we’re cracked”

Big Sales at Build Mart

These guys are having so much fun, it makes me so happy

I was so sure “team captain Oli” was Beky joking but he’s genuinely such a good igl

“That’s funny man” “Thanks man” “You practice that one?” “Yeah I did :)” oh my gosh them

“You can’t punch in the nether bit” “That would be togettotheothersidescore” it’s for the best but I kinda wanted them to be able to punch each other into the lava, it would be so silly and (dare I say) scuffed

Oli being self deprecating and Bek just agreeing with him 😂

Ah yes, the bickering phase of buildmart

Oh no, Oli being one block off on the check board means he got 0% :((

“There has to be crazy game for us to get out of dodgebolt right now” “Hey, you don’t know how hard I can throw” the way Oli’s proud of that is everything, actually

Skyblockle

Why does Krinios think there’s friendly fire in skyblockle?? Who hurt them???? (Literally)

Oh did Bek’s internet die?

Beky’s back :D

Punz being shocked that he landed in the void and Oli’s little “I landed it :)”

“What’s that iron golem in the middle, what does he do?” “What doesn’t he do?” So true Oli

Gee thanks, no pressure Punz lol

Oli placing lava on himself, that’s my A tier <333

They were so ready to not make it lol

They’re so excited to team with yellow :))

Jimmy is so confused lmao

Dodgebolt

Jimmy and Oli my beloveds

“Blushi we’re sharing a brain” I love everything happening here actually

I love yellow so much I’m so excited to watch them

“You’ve never missed a shot, ever” … “I missed the shot!! D:”

“Hiding like a little mouse” “Like a rat, even” So true Bek

PUNZ 😭😭😭😭 “You have to hit one” *both miss*

Oli just standing still to stare at the frog for like five seconds is so adhdcore

Joel and Oli’s trade is so iconic

How are Krinios and Punz in such perfect sync lmao

KRIN JUST KILLED JIMMY 😭😭😭

“There is friendly fire, just to let you know” Thanks Jim

Oh whoops I was definitely wondering in previous pics what happens when pg and nonpg are thrown together in dodgebolt, guess we know lol

“Why would you start the anime betrayal arc?” Because he’s an anime protagonist, Phil, you know this, cmon

“If you hit both of these you’re the craziest guys… You’re the craziest guys!!!” You’d never guess what happened lol

This was so fun, I love them :))

“I’m actually pro-empires team, so” So true Oli

“Oli you popped off!!” “Aye YOU popped off!! No YOURE so hot, no YOURE so cute!!!” I love Joel and Oli so much

Empires popped off <333

Well I don’t feel bad anymore because I have zero clue who just called Oli “Grian” lmao, probably Sam??

Shoutout to Sam(?) for giving Oli good material to do an angsty outdo to lol

Nvm it’s motivational now, thanks Grian /ref

“If I can come second place, what can you do?”

[mochiwrites]

I’m almost entirely caught up to songbird au (around half way through the second chapter of enchante :3 ) and!!!!!!! I have enjoyed reading it so so much. I’ve really enjoyed the building of the word and its people as we experience all blind and new with Grian. I really enjoy the setup of it as a series on ao3 with either smaller multi chapter fics and one shots mixed instead of just one single fic because it makes reading through more digestible and it’s also fun looking ahead at the summaries of future parts :D it really shines through how passionate and excited you are to write this series and share it! Im so excited to catch up to the last little part posted and for what’s to come in the future!!! Lays on the ground

OH SOBS???? /pos

honestly sometimes I somewhat regret posting songbird as a series rather than one entire fic but I’m overall glad with posting it as a series :D like you said it makes reading much more digestible and honestly I think it works so much better as a series (could you imagine. reading all of that world building in one fic. insanity fr)

but weeeeee !!!! :D this series is very much beloved and there is sooo much excitement. and I am. Very normal about songbird’s running theme of humanity (that we’re about to start seeing more of very soon >:3c)

[kcrabb88]

✍️ 🥳 💭 for the ask game (i think i got these right lol)

✍️ What’s your ideal writing setup?

I do some of my best writing in my room at night, honestly! Just me, my music, and feeling cozy. I also love a good coffee shop setup on a weekend afternoon. I'm an old school Microsoft Word on my laptop person, too (sometimes I write in my Dropbox Word file, but it's still Word, hahaha).

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic?

I was a teenager going through a big loss, and my childhood best friend, who introduced me to fandom and fic, gave me a notebook (complete with purple sharpie writing on the front) and was like "fic writing is fun! You should try!" So I did, and it was great outlet for me, AND I loved it a lot, so here I am, many years later :D I was always inventing Scenarios in my head as a kid, so I just finally starting writing them down. I think for me, writing is almost a compulsion? Not in a bad way, I just can't think of another word for it, but more in the way that I don't think I could ever just stop doing it. I get ideas in my head and just ITCH to write them down, and that all started with those early fanfic writing days.

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

I get a lot of inspiration from music! I do a lot of imagining little movies in my head, and I've definitely had many many lightbulb moments while walking around listening to music. It's really, really integral to the whole writing process for me!

[feralphoenix]

WELL! finished my first run of steam edition yggdra union the other day, so as promised, heres the final roster as of the bf48 setup screen:

no surprises for anyone here i think. yggdra’s stats maxed out at level 17 in this playthrough as is inevitable for the best allied unit in the game. she would’ve maxed even earlier if the game didnt remove mvp bonuses when she rejoins the party at the beginning of chapter 5 but that never matters in the end, So Like

FUNNY STORY: i decided to work on item manual completion this run which actually requires you to actively use milanor a lot during the early game, which led to a lot of hashtag milanor-typical mvp theft... but the rng distribution this time was unbelievably funny and gave him like all atk and luck, never MIND that if theres ever any stat milanor ACTUALLY needs its tec to make sure steal always works. so despite being capable of decent dps/tank work he STILL wound up useless, just in a highly atypical fashion compared to the usual on my save files where hes stuck in mostly 4s and 5s lmfao

nietzsche ate one (1) zero reset right before level up while i was shaking off the rust of not having played for, like, 8 years or something, but also look at that hottt gen score. tank mermaid. will probably try this again for future saves where i dont have to leave my doping items to rot for item manual completion and when i dont need to raise durant for item fetching purposes

old reliable... roswell always winds up as such a solid damage dealer whenever im able to give him proper attention. if you prefer aggro tactics why ARENT you going with roswell as often as possible. he and yggdra took point most of the time on this file, with a little help from...

elena, who was absolutely the goat here; relatedly, sorry about everything, elena. a fun thing to do if you like to use elena is to make sure you get the rainbow arc from her in bf17 with steal and then actually equip it on her in chapter 8 and let her clean house/rake in the mvp. Im Sorry Elena. yggdra and milanor have to pay for her therapy sessions now i think

guess who ALSO got an inopportune zero reset while i was still shaking off the rust... mistels stats always suffer when youre letting your doping items go bad for collection purposes but it doesnt help that one of the best of those is locked to 2nd playthrough onwards, so whatcha gonna do

i played on hard mode because it was there and other difficulty levels are honestly way too easy for me, but since pamela & golden dozeu are locked your first play on steam regardless of difficulty i took these caps on bf48 because i assumed ending d would be 2nd playthrough onwards exclusive too.

IMAGINE MY DELIGHT WHEN I WENT FOR ENDING C AND GOT A NORMAL RESULTS SCREEN... means i am forced to play normal mode AFTER all to get ending c, but i will never turn down a surprise trip across heavens gate because i love to go hit hector with sticks. “youre not actually hitting him with sticks” ive sent yggdra to go do it and i Will join nessiah in yelling YAAAAAAAAAAS QUEEEEEEEEEEN SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY from the back row of the bleachers while she does that.

anyway.

over 80% item manual completion in one run is not bad for the first run after an 8 year blank. dabs. its good to be back. sting please put gloria union and blaze union on steam too

[icharchivist]

merry christmas icha!! love ur new icon. fittingly enough, the stars aligned and i just went through the a very mankai christmas event! i think it's a nice touch the event wasn't actually on the day... but since it goes up to the 25th i thought it fitting to read through it now. i was very hype for the mixed troupe performances but i knew that tsuzuru would be in absolute hell the entire time. like not being able to contribute writing-wise would take a real toll on me. however i think despite that pain it would be SOO fun! one thing i feel very much is like when u meet people who are just starting out with like writing etc.? writing is very very reflective of the self i think. and u end up learning a lot about how people work when u see other people's creative output. but it would also be hell.

i guessed hisoka would be one of the main characters the moment he was like oh i have no. christmas ideas. and then the moment tsumugi was like oh sakuya do u have a christmas memory I remembered sakuyas family situation and when sakuya was like nah I gripped my chair like. sakuya hisoka event? sakuya hisoka event? AND THEN they both went … at the end of the scene so i did lose my mind. thats a veryyyyy fun duo i think in terms of thinking about dynamics. also the funniest thing is I actually put off this event for like a week bc this chapter in the event started with the like sad a3 flashback music and I was worried I couldn’t handle it like. what if it was hisoka and it like glitched or smthing like that bc he can’t flashback to anything. what if it was rly sad. but instead it was just juzas chocolate melting which is a tragedy but not one that will devastate me. oh also tsumugis story with tasuku is so sweet. i was like. wow. they were rly good friends. also i literally have a scene in my drafts somewhere where tasuku catches tsumugi before he trips. glad to see thats in character.

but sakuyaaaaa. i was rly expecting him to be the sort of basic "main character" of this game but i think a3 doesnt rly have that feeling? (probably helped massively by the fact that there's 4 different groups in the first place) anyways he is not boring to me at all. i feel like hes a little bit of a subtle character with a lot of interesting quirks? probably related to the whole. family situation hes got. but man. smthing about having to be good for christmas got me. and the way he feels guilty about lying and when he tells hisoka he had a bad experience hes quick to brush it off as not a big deal even though that's like. his big memory of christmas as a holiday. and it really feels like. honestly thinking abt how sakuya stuck to his lead role as romeo in act 1 i do think a lot about like. how sakuya probably feels he needs to act around other people and how he needs to be as a person. like does he ever think oh i'm not a good person. that's why no one likes me. that's why i never got christmas presents. sakuya i want to give you a very long hug. going to jump a little non-chronologically and say that hisoka getting him that cat plush was SO SWEET. i grabbed at my heart really it was so adorable. the way hisoka is so pleased abt it! it was nice to see that from hisoka too. like. hes not sweet always but when he is hes SWEET.

anyways back on chronology. when izumi went "im baking today since omi is busy!" my immediate response was to narrow my eyes thru the whole scene and then go "…you know how to make more than curry?" next the other team plays. as predicted the team tsuzuru was on (team a) was wild. they had a good time so good for them. what really makes me laugh is that apart from like team d with the mains of the event etc. i think team a may have been the only group to actually do a christmas theme. the sakyo and azuma thing was HILARIOUS. with the like soap opera relationship thing. azuma was the perfect person to play that lady kazumi... also!! sakyo mentioned thinking about doing mixed troupe plays in the future... thats a nice way to setup that since i do know it does happen later! so cool.

let's see the last things i had to say... oh right. hisoka Thoughts. he was so weird abt the snow he was like “snow…” TWICE. so i have to assume there's some memories associated with that. there was the ocean in winter's episode too right?? anyways. this goes next to my hisoka == december??? / chikage jacket? notes. i thought it was nice that it was sakuya who was with him when hisoka froze up on stage! like, i think he's probably the best person equipped to handle that kind of thing out of everyone. oh and also im not saying hisoka used his assassin stealth to sneak in a present in sakuyas stocking but im also not NOT saying that you know. i also have to wonder how citron's sleeping reflexes are considering my runaway prince theory... like either sleeps like the dead or super light sleeper i feel.

unrelated but during the party where homare is like "I ended up getting a little too intoxicated on life and wine" and then izumi said smthing that was basically like "homare u were just straight up crying" that made me laugh.

this was such a sweet event! it hit a good balance of being melancholy without being like too depressing, i think.

AAHH HELL YEAH!! MERRY CHRISTMAS KIRI!!! (and thank you for the nice comment on the icon <33)And this is such a perfect timing, i was thinking about this event all day yesterday which makes it perfect for a proper christmas mood.

I really love this event a lot, as a Hisoka and Sakuya enjoyer, as you can imagine. It was sooo good to me.

I do love how the event is spread out. most of the events actually are a bit like that, kinda fits with the fact events usually lasts about 10 days, so when the stories also take a long time it really feels like you're passing the days with them.

Tsuzuru's absolute nightmare was a highlight of this event for sure, it was so funny. Of course, also terrible to picture oneself into, but the whole thing was so fucking funny, he really was paired with the group of people that would give him the most headaches. Love Lady Luck on this one.

SAKUYA HISOKA EVENTTTTTT sobbing.

There were a few minichats that built up this duo before that which i always loved, which is that Sakuya often caught Hisoka sleeping in wild places and would cover him in blankets, and when Hisoka would complain he can't sleep in his room because Homare is being loud, Sakuya offered Hisoka to sleep into his bed in the meantime and Hisoka has been "i'm going to protect this kid with my LIFE" ever since, keep calling him a good boy from this point on already.

So when the event was specifically about Hisoka getting dedicated in making sure Sakuya was a good boy in a way Sakuya could get/that would override Sakuya's feelings that he wasn't one…. it felt very precious.

PUTTING OFF THE EVENT BC SAD MUSIC WHILE IT WAS ALL JUZA… THIS IS SO FUNNY HELPPP. Tsumu and Tasu's bit were really sweet yessss. and glad to see you also get them in character so well in your drafts on that.

And i agree completely about Sakuya!!! He's a bit of the posterchild of the app but it's especially because, as an orphan who feels like he constantly has to prove he has his place here, he makes for a great demonstration of the found family thematics of a3. But yeah i agee he's very subtle and interesting. It really strikes me that Sakuya has basically been raised into erasing himself, making himself as small and helpful as possible, not imposing himself, desperately trying to be good enough to be kept around. So when he's actually doing that in the story - rarely taking up the whole focus, apologizing for unconvegniancing anyone, not wanting to talk about the bad feelings of his past…. it really feels more like it's his habit of erasing himself in front of his neglecting family, than an idea that he's just a boring character who's good to be good. The whole thing about the "maybe i'm not a good boy" realization was devastating to me, because while it's such a childish thing, it's also obvious it carried on to his current age, and he definitely needed to hear that he was being good, but was never in a situation where he could actively express that he needed to hear that. That Hisoka made it his lifemission to make sure Sakuya knew he was good is so much to me. And yeah it is really interesting to put in comparaison to how he stuck to the Romeo's role. Sakuya kept repeating he'd be okay just being on the stage, but this was the one time, i think, that he allowed himself to be selfish. That he found something he wanted to be good at. Tsuzuru had written this role for him, laid all those hopes for him. And i feel like Sakuya was always so desperate to fill the expectations of his families, only to realize that those expectations was just for him to be as little of a problem as possible so he could be forgotten somewhere. While for once, he had an expectation on him that required him to be himself, and to bloom and grow as himself, and i think eventually, for once, to have this encouragement, really helped him for once to try to reclaim some place for himself. Meanwhile, yeah, i have no doubt there's a whole idea also of Sakuya thinking he's never going to be good enough, which is also why he is so eagger to try once someone give him a chance. But i want to give him a hug so bad too, my precious soon….

And really Hisoka's whole reaction to it was so soft. Like i said, already Hisoka just cares for Sakuya, but i also think like. Sakuya is a highly neglected kid, who basically erased himself for the sake of others. Hisoka, at this point in the story, has lived his memory loss as being erased from others's people lives as well, which was why he was so distant and aloof at the start, with no reason to try to connect to anyone. And i think it may play on how Hisoka just thinks that erasing yourself like that is just too much of a suffering that a sweet kid like Sakuya doesn't deserve.

I'm honestly just. so soft on "Hisoka: guardian of Sakuya's happiness". And the cat thing is so bites fist. Of course in the event they draw a direct comparaison to his role as the cat to the plushy, but it adds that there were a few backstages too where Sakuya kept comparing him to a cat. For instance, the Cheshire Cat's preparation N backstage had Sakuya basically decide "how to best act like a cat. I know. I'm going to learn from Hisoka.". It's like such a running joke between those two that i find it so sweet and gentle.

Back to chronology: listen you go "you know more than curry?" but she legit made them gingerbread. Gingerbread. That's still spices :sob: Girl still has a tunel vision, even if it's a little larger than usual.

For the other teams oh god yeah, it was such a mess. Tsuzuru suffering through puns. BUT YEAH, TRULY VERy CHRISTMASSY compared to the rest. They actually put an effort into it! Meanwhile Muku's team all on fanservice. Itaru and Tasuku being all "why are we doing this", meanwhile i can imagine yen signs in Sakyo's eyes as in "if it means the devoted fanbase invest in us, it's good. Do it again." Sakyo would totally exploit the fanservice there i swear. And the Sakyo/Azuma play was SO FUNNY it was SO DRAMATIC. And tbh with how much Azuma flits with Sakyo in backstages i have to believe it's Azuma who went "what if i play your lover ;D" while Sakyo is just "…. if it makes for a good play i'm in.".

BUT YEAH good set up for the mixed troupes, i love a3's build up.

Ok so obviously about the whole bit about Hisoka, i can't say much, despite wanting to say a lot, but well shoves fist in mouth i'm quiet. I love your thought process though. and yeah!! Sakuya being the one on stage really helped here. He's truly the king at improv to save his companions in time of troubles. I also still find it so touching that Sakuya went to check on Hisoka after the play because he caught on that something was going on, this kid is so perceptive.

and DLKFJD for the stealth HELP. And good question for Citron, that does raise question. Maybe Citron woke up to see it happen and realized it was for Sakuya to have a merry christmas and he closed his eyes back in solidarity. Or Hisoka's stealth is just that good! who knows!

DLKFJDLFKDF that line is so good. Homare i love you so much, don't ever change.

It was really a sweet event! i really loved their dynamic and truly as someone who adores those two; those two lonely kids, i was so in love with this event. crying so hard thinking about it everytime. But yeah, it kept such a good balance of fun and sweet that the little angsts there was wasn't soulcrushing. I truly adore this event

Glad you had fun and thank you for the sweet message <333 i didn't have the best of christmas to be honest but this ask truly lifted my spirit again a little, it was so nice to relive the event that way and it reminds me just how good those kids are. Thank you so much for the message <3333

Take care and i wish you a merry christmas :3c

[tiredelirium]

D.14

This is the near halfway mark where this task of self journalling begins to feel like a chore. A selfmade target with a pointless trajectory. Still honestly surprised I’ve been able to keep this up so long.

A part of me knows nobody will ever read any of these entries. They’ll never be picked up by an algorithm thanks to my limited tags, or reblogged for any particular reason as theres no real meat behind each entry.

These words are, as I’ve tagged them, scattered thoughts written out loud, alongside a handful of meagre stories of my past. Maybe I’ll write something about my present sometime in one of these entries, but it’s an unlikely thing. My present isn’t very thought provoking, interesting, or available in any way.

Pretty soon I’ll be a third of my way through a life that I haven’t accomplished much in. There are things I want to do, of course, but a lack of drive and motivation to get to action has always been my biggest character flaw. I’ve mentioned before about this. They say disinterest is a big part of depression. But I don’t think it would be possible for me to have been depressed since I was 12. Maybe that is a possibility, and it was just something that came with puberty alongside anxiety and isolationist habits.

I want to write a book. I’ve made several attempts to start ones in the past, both fantastical and modern. Though I can never get past the first few pages. It always hits me after that point. The disinterest. The apathy. The lack of drive or motivation.

If we were ever taught as children how to motivate ourselves in life I must have missed that lesson.

I want to travel the world. I’ve been to places in the past, but very rarely of my own volition and choice. Family holidays to sunny climates, and school trips are truly the only ones. I’ve been to the far east of Europe, borderline Russia. I’ve been to New York. I’ve been to the Mediterranean, to little islands in the middle of seas. And i’ve travelled across a tiny fraction of the UK, namely England and Wales.

At one point I seriously considered, and briefly looked into, joining a crew and attempting a ship faring life. I was talked down from the idea by my parents. One whose father was a sailor and an arsehole, the other who didn’t want to lose contact with me for months on end with no idea if I would be safe or not. The second wasn’t overprotection, but just genuine concern. The seas are unforgiving after all, and I’d be a rookie before I was ever good enough.

I want to make a game. Not necessarily a video game though that would be a fun project and there’s lots of engines and facilities out there these days to try and make one. I’ve made a ton of homebrew dnd content for my own enjoyment, from specialised subclasses and unique items, to monsters and large scale settings. Currently, in my spare time, I’m working on a Horror based TTRPG setup. A kind of one and done game, that, unlike DND, wouldn’t be a module that could run for 50+ sessions.

It’s a fun project so far, but the disinterest will hit me eventually. Maybe I’ll get distracted with another project idea. Maybe I’ll simply hit a wall of non-creativeness, where ideas just don’t hit as good. Or maybe I’ll get frustrated and think the project is dumb and pointless.

I wish my mind wasn’t this way, but it’s not an easy thing to change a method of thinking. Especially when you don’t know where that thinking originated or why it still persists, even against the things you enjoy.

I’m greedy.

[citrijp]

Day 6

Today's Objectives

Kana Practice: 10 min

Anki: 20 new + 21 review

Grammar: ~40 min

Active Inmersion: ~1 hour (not including Yomitan setup)

Let's go gamers

Kana Practice

Not counting legitimate typos, it was 345/348, or 99.1%. No confusion on マ and ム tho!!

Anki

Not much to say on Anki. Struggled a little, but this is a new deck for me, I figured this would happen :P

I think I'm gonna reduce the daily new cards to 5 or 10 tho lol 20 is a lot. Fortunately it's only a couple days in so it won't mess things up TOO badly.

Grammar

Today was on Japanese sentence structure and the importance of understanding the true purpose of が, as well as the "desire" helper adjective, たい. Also the helper verb がる which is needed when talking about other people's wants bc the Japanese language recognizes that we can't read minds better than the average person tbh. So a sentence like. キンケードがポテトを食べたがる。which might be about a d&d comfort character that's between me and god.

Also the helper verbs る (godan) and られる (ichidan) for conditional statements. The stem for those is え. So like. 買える。飲める。歩けれる。And then られる is easy because ichidan verbs are easy and you just chop off the る and add られる. So like. 食べられる。

Fun fact: 「私はスパゲッティが食べられる。」 is different from 「私がスパゲッティを食べられる。」. Like they're pretty much functionally the same—the first is "In relation to me, the spaghetti is able to be eaten" where the second is "I can eat the spaghetti"—but the former is apparently considered to be better. The more ya know.

Last was forming complex sentences using て form and くれる。I have some bad notes for this bc it has been a Brain Day:

Yeah. If I'm feeling up for it tomorrow I kinda wanna rewrite all my notes for the week and compile them into a doc.

Can't believe that Monday's already gonna be a week in??? Ik that's not terribly long at all but honestly I'm happy with it

Active Immersion

If I can find a way to use Kiwi Browser to set up Yomitan I might be able to use Precure but otherwise I'm just gonna watch mozuku's ACNH videos ��� Maybe grab Some words but not all of them

Conclusion

Not a great body day but I still got shit done and I'm happy with that.

[kellshaw]

New Post has been published on https://kellshaw.com/ive-got-piles-of-worldbuilding-notes-scribbled/

I’ve got piles of worldbuilding notes scribbled across paper notebooks, Scrivener files, and Kanka.io. Now I’ve downloaded Obsidian and will see if I can organise everything in the one place. It was okay when I had one book, but now I’m up to drafting the third, I keep forgetting what color various characters’ eyes are, the dates, what phase the moon should be. Little details like that. I heard that Steven Erikson wrote the Malazan Book of the Fallen without keeping notes—a tremendous feat.

While Obsidian has a fantasy calendar plugin, I need to figure out how to use it better, like embedding dates in notes and having it calculate the ages of characters and things. Kanka.io (a RPG note taking wiki) does this and it’s very handy.

why i write in obsidian.md (and why you should try it!)

hey, hi, have I mentioned my notes app? let me tell you about my notes app! I’ve been writing in obsidian for over a year now, for fanfic and original fiction/worldbuilding (and dungeons and dragons, and life organisation, and a myriad of other things) and so far I’ve gotten at least three people to also start using it, and I am in fact on an endless quest to get more people to try it.

obsidian.md how do i love thee, let me list the ways:

It’s offline. you are not beholden to the whims of wifi!

Did i mention it’s free? it’s free!

you can pay to support the devs, or to access the sync service, but honestly I just use a free file sync service to move things between my desktop/laptop.

It’s super lightweight at its core. you can (and I do) run it with a bunch of plugins and customisation, but at it’s base it’s just text, in simple files. plaintext. readable by anything. your writing is not trapped in proprietary file formats.

HOWEVER you can in fact customise every aspect of it and if you like Making Your Notes Cute I cannot recommend it enough as a Way To Procrastinate Actually Writing

Crucially, you can link your notes. This is phenomenal for not only worldbuilding, but planning, research, outlining and connecting characters and events. You just make a note, type in square brackets, and boom. linked notes. You can make yourself a little writing wikipedia with approximately 0 effort.

I have separate vaults (Instances, pretty much. Big overarching folders with separate sets of content) for my Valloroth project, my day-to-day notes/fanfic, and my D&D game. They’re aesthetically very different, which is so so so great for getting in the right headspace for the work I’m doing.

OH and we have obsidian canvas now! which is a simple mind-mapping feature where you can make and connect note cards, which can also be notes in your vault. I haven’t had a chance to do timelines with it yet, but it’ll be fun for that. I have made relationship charts with it, and it was great for that. If you like visually laying out boxes of information and connecting them into a pepe silvia board of plot, canvas is incredible

this is a pointcrawl map I made for my D&D game. Those red words in the boxes? links to the locations in the city the players were exploring. phenomenal

do you like split screen? you can have multiple notes open at once in horizontal and vertical configurations, and you can also open multiple tabs in each split window. it’s SO great for research and outlining, when you need like ten documents open at once to move between

finally, there are so many addons to COMPLETELY CUSTOMISE your Writing Setup. styling for tags. kanban boards. LINKABLE MAPS. ways to label scenes with metadata and pull just so many different tables/lists of story information. AND SO MANY MORE. I’m gonna do a whole post of my favourite writing plugins at some point so i can yell about them

the only downsides are that it’s somewhat clunky still to export things out of obsidian—I copy my fics into googledocs for my beta, and I have a plugin to make exporting to html easier to post on ao3, but it’s still kinda fiddly. Also, if you want a program that Has Everything and Just Works, this is…not that. you can build a lot of really useful writing specific features, but you do have to build them. it’s a sandbox, so if you don’t like sandbox-style programs, this may not work for you.

that being said, I do think everyone should try it and play with it and love it like I do and convince all their friends to start using it like i did. come play with obsidian with me! it’s fun! there’s a great community in the official discord that’s very active, plus an ever-growing collection of resources, particularly on youtube (highly reccommend Danny Hatcher’s videos as a jumping in point, they’re super accessible imo)

anyway, come try obsidian!

Obsidian – Sharpen your thinking

[thecooleraveragejamm]

Welcome to L’manburg, as told by the various home videos filmed by its first residents

Hi, Hello!! Welcome to the beginning of my first Big Boi Project.I love practical effects and VHS cameras and Ive been wanting to learn how to edit and make videos so I decided to make a fun project out of it to make it funner to learn! So the plan is to make Home video style videos of clips I find funny from available vods. Anyways this is the first time ive ever filmed and edited a video all by myself, and although the audio is super low and wack, Im very proud of it, so now imma rant about the making of the trailer lol

Ive been planning this for like 3 months and I wanted it all done by August 2nd but im bad at time management so now its going to be done in parts, slowly, overtime since i work a full time job. If you noticed in the first part, there’s two voices, and I did that completely by accident, I wanted wilburs dramatic speech from after pogtopia, but that didnt really fit with what i Filmed so i recorded a clip form the festival, but I forgot to mute the original Pogtopia clip so they recorded together, and I decided to keep it since it seemed cool to see the contrast and parallels between the first and second speech. Also the audio bits where they all came together took me so long but I really love it, especially since I ended it with tuboo saying “our president fucked a fish?”, its too low to hear tho :’D. The ending where wilburs walking down that path also took me so many shots because my headphones kept falling out and it was honestly the worst time of my life since it was hot and I was walking for an hour to find that pathway lol, the place I went to was very pretty though! I just realized that you can barely perceive the walls, I spent to much time adding little details and you cant even see them, we out here suffering. Video could also be better but converting from analog to digital and making it look good is hard, my setup for it is so scuffed the people at digitalfaq would be so dissapointed in me

I think thats kinda it for the rant, anyways if you see this thanks for reading!

[kiirotoao]

The Byler Season-Episode Parallels

I know that this was a topic of conversation months ago already, but I have to bring it up again because it is one of, if not my favorite, pieces of Byler evidence. And it’s a meta detail once again (I think that I’m going to talk a lot about meta details on my blog because they’re so fun to explain haha).

The detail in question? The Byler season-episode parallels. Basically, Byler have key moments in season 1 episode 1, season 2 episode 2, season 3 episode 3, and season 4 episode 4.

I firmly believe that none of the season-episode parallels are coincidences. These moments are set up too perfectly.

Allow me to explain :).

In season 1 episode 1, we see the establishment of Mike and Will’s relationship.

Will is honest to Mike about the last roll in their D&D game, the roll that wasn’t high enough to cast fireball. So Will admits to Mike that “the demogorgon… it got me.” And Mike doesn’t reply to that, as far as we see. He just frowns a little, likely confused as to why Will would admit his loss.

As short as this interaction in season 1 episode 1 is, it ends up being the perfect setup of each moment I’m about to highlight. Not only that, but this interaction is crucial to both of their developments as characters in general. For the s1e1 moment, Will is honest about the roll, specific, too, with the failing 7, and Mike is unaware that the demogorgon is real and about to attack Will. Their respective dispositions in this moment continue on through the show:

Will is honest and open, and Mike is unaware of certain truths.

And before I get into how the pattern shows up in each season-episode parallel, I want to highlight it in other moments throughout the show.

In season 2, Mike complains about Max ruining Halloween night when he doesn’t even speak to her or know her, emphasized in the coming episodes when he finally does talk to Max, while Will admits that he was open to her and let her join trick-or-treating with the Party. Also in season 2, before the boys and Max show d’Art to Mr. Clarke, we focus on a very brief moment between Mike and Will wherein Mike concernedly and unknowingly inquires about Will’s fearful expression when Will honestly explains what he heard in his last Upside-Down episode and his connection to hearing d’Art.

In season 3, after the sauna test, Mike ignorantly argues that, between him and El, “it’s not over, okay, we’re just taking a break” (when by all means verbally, it totally is over) and Will counters him by declaring his honest observation, “she said she dumped your ass, that doesn’t sound like a break!” And now, this is such a tiny detail in the dialogue, I know, but I think it’s interesting how in season 3 episode 5 when Jancy and the Party take off to go look for clues at the Holloway’s, we get a quick exchange of a peeved Mike saying, “seriously?” while realizing (meaning he clearly wasn’t aware of the seating situation beforehand) that he has to sit in the trunk - side by side with a shrugging Will who acceptingly and bluntly says, “welcome to my world.”

Then in season 4, in the Rink-O-Mania fight, Mike complains to Will that “you should have told me she was having trouble.” He didn’t know El was being bullied. Meanwhile, Will calls out all kinds of honest truths about El lying, about Mike being “mad that [Will] didn’t talk to [him],” about the minimal calls and “book of letters;” Will knows it all.

Again and again, Mike is not in the know about something while Will is, and each time, Will honestly and truthfully lets Mike know what’s going on. This pattern of Will’s honesty and Mike’s unawareness happens all the time. It constitutes their characters, especially when they’re together (but not exclusively when they’re together! I could go on and on with examples of how they interact with others but I think that’d make this post too long).

So now, let’s look at the how the pattern plays into the rest of the season-episode parallels.

In season 2 chapter 2, we have the beloved “crazy together” scene.

“It’s like… like I’m stuck.”

“Like, like, stuck in the Upside Down?”

“No. You know on a View-Master, when it gets, like…”

“Caught between two slides?”

I love how Mike finishes Will’s sentence - Mike is aware of what’s going on to an extent! At the very least, he knows Will very well to finish his thought. But in general, we open this moment with Mike inquiring about what Will went though. He’s asking questions while Will explains.

“Yeah, yeah. Like that. Like, like one side’s our world, and, and the other… the other slide is the Upside Down. And… and there was this noise coming from everywhere. And then I saw something.”

“The demogorgon?”

Again, Will explains while Mike asks questions. In this case, Mike is unaware that the problem at hand is no longer the demogorgon but something much bigger.

“No. It was like this, this huge shadow in the sky. Only, it was alive. And it was coming for me.”

Terrifying as that notion is, Will is right on the money. He knows that the Mind Flayer is coming for him, as it does in the following episode.

“Is this all real? Or is it like the doctors say, all in your head?”

After everything, Mike is in disbelief. It’s a lot to take in. And Mike is unaware of the reality of what Will sees.

“I don’t know. Just… just please don’t tell the others, okay? They won’t understand.”

And once again, Will makes it known, honestly, that he doesn’t want Mike to tell anyone else about the information he just shared. He wants to be understood in his situation, not pitied.

“Eleven would.”

“She would?”

Mike goes on to mention Eleven in this conversation, yet another thing that he’s unaware of - where Eleven is and if she’s even alive.

“Yeah. She always did. Sometimes I feel like I still see her. Like she’s still around, but she never is. I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“Me, too.”

“Hey, well, if we’re both going crazy, then we’ll go crazy together, right?”

“Yeah. Crazy together.”

So the both of them lie with thoughts unsolved, with both uncertainty and certainty together. And thus ends their exchange; “Hey, well, if we’re both going crazy, then we’ll go crazy together, right?” “Yeah. Crazy together.”

Also, side note because this moment is so sweet and iconic for a reason: I think that this entire “crazy together” moment is so special because this is the first time we see Will explain his episodes without hesitancy or deep fear. And at the same time, Mike understands his explanations (unlike Owens, who has yet to bridge the gap between the realities). And despite not being able to see each other’s situations, they both believe each other’s words, listen to each other, and just get each other. Their synergy is truly endearing.

Now, in season 3 chapter 3, we have the infamous rain scene.

A lot happens in this scene, and I think nearly every word from Mike and Will perfectly highlights their respective unawareness and honesty.

“Will, come on! You can’t leave, it’s raining. Listen, I said I was sorry, all right? It’s a cool campaign. It’s really cool. We’re just not in the mood right now.”

Despite all Mike’s efforts, this really just feels like a ramble to me. “You can’t leave, it’s raining,” he exhorts, thinking of Will’s safety and yet doesn’t realize how serious Will is and that Will is going to leave no matter what Mike says. “Listen, I said I was sorry, alright?” he continues, and again doesn’t realize that an apology isn’t going to help anymore; the damage has been done. He then says, “It’s a cool campaign. It’s really cool,” which may be true, but then he finishes with, “We’re just not in the mood right now,” which doesn’t address the true reason why he and Lucas don’t want to play.

So then, we see Will’s parry:

“Yeah, Mike. That’s the problem. You guys are never in the mood anymore! You’re ruining our party.”

And I think this highlights Will’s perspective perfectly. Whereas Mike dances around caring about Will but ultimately not caring about him - Will gets straight to the point. He feels like Mike is “ruining [their] party.”

“That’s not true!”

And so, behold. Mike’s go-to argument phrase: “that’s not true!” This is plain denial of what’s been said, and it doesn’t see into the matter fully.

On the other hand, Will is the one to extrapolate on the matter.

“Really? Where’s Dustin right now?” (Mike doesn’t reply.) “See? You don’t know and you don’t even care. And obviously he doesn’t either, and I don’t blame him! You’re destroying everything, and for what? So you can swap spit with some stupid girl?”

Will points out Dustin. Even though neither of them know where he is let alone the gravity of the mission he and the Scoops Troop are conducting, Will is the one to acknowledge Dustin’s absence. He’s sincere with his emotion and his frustration, and he even lashes out at Eleven. But if you ask me, I think that his calling her “stupid” was more of an emphasizer to really show his anger with Mike. Regardless, he’s clearly mad here and true to his anger.

Mike matches his anger, likely offended that he brought up Eleven, and hence, the line.

“El’s not stupid! It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”

Now, this line is interesting. For one, Mike is assuming that Will doesn’t like girls. The assumption ends up being quite correct, but it baffles me that Mike would appear to know this. Even more painfully yet, Mike isn’t aware that he is indeed the reason why Will doesn’t seem to like girls. Will doesn’t show interest in any girls throughout the seasons, but he also doesn’t show interest in any other boys. It’s just Mike.

And for a moment, the two switch places.

After Mike says this, Will is left speechless. He can’t even express what he thinks after hearing that - his honesty is suddenly curbed.

And suddenly, also, Mike seems to realize what he’s done. Looking a bit regretful, he attempts to mollify things by saying,

“I’m not trying to be a jerk. Okay?”

But then, they switch back in the very end.

“But we’re not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we’re just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?”

Mike asks all this thinking it’s rhetorical. Of course Will wouldn’t expect that. Of course he wouldn’t expect them to never move on to other things in life like romance. So naturally, he’s shocked when Will answers,

“Yeah. I guess I did. I really did.”

Their exchange closes with Will’s true and honest reply; he really did think they’d continue doing the same things they used to love.

After all the subtly stewing conflict between the boys, Mike and Will finally address the elephant in the room. As much as it’s not a happy exchange, it faithfully portrays the two’s attitudes.

And lastly, in season 4 chapter 4, we have the pep talk scene, as well as the apology scene that follows. Season 4 chapter 4 is one of my favorite chapters ever because of how richly we see everyone’s emotions - and Mike and Will are no exceptions. I can’t even talk about just one scene because they have two amazing moments together in this episode that follow the pattern.

First, we have the moment in Jonathan’s room.

“I… I mean, I don’t think they’ve actually thought this through. If this goes on for a month, or months, and people can’t get a hold of us, they’re gonna totally freak out. Meanwhile, my mom’s probably having a panic attack already. And then what about Hawkins? That lady’s just supposed to keep it ‘contained.’ Like you can contain any of this without El. I mean…”

From the very beginning, we see Will worrying out loud about his mom, Hawkins, about how ridiculous it is to try and keep any of this mess “contained.” Will worries in front of Mike, allowing Mike to hear his thoughts.

“Yeah.”

While Will is ranting, we see Mike more internally worrying at first. He’s looking at El’s letter. The newfound, “from El.” He doesn’t open up about it until Will sits beside him.

“If you keep staring at that, it’s not gonna change. You know?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” He then crumples up the letter and throws it away.

Mike has to be guided to realize that things won’t change so easily, and that he can’t contact El right now. Will points him to that conclusion.

“Before the cops came, me and El, we… we had a bad fight. We never fight. I mean, we fought before, but just, like, silly fights, stupid fights. But, I don’t know, this one just felt more adult. Like, it… it just felt more real. Like… like it was a fight you can’t come back from.”

Mike talks about his fight with El which I think he very vaguely describes as “more adult… it just felt more real.” He also calls it “a fight you can’t come back from.” He seems to be unsure about what happened or what he should do.

“Maybe I should’ve said something, and if I would’ve said that thing, then maybe she’d want me there with her, wherever she is.”

“No. Look, Mike, you’re gonna see her again, and whatever it is, whatever you didn’t say, you can say it to her then.”

Will backs him up with advice and confidence that El will be okay. And even though Will supposedly can’t look into the future, he is right about this, that they’ll see her again.

“Yeah. Yeah.”

“She’s gonna be okay. She’s not in Hawkins. That’s what we should be worrying about.”

“You don’t trust Owens?”

I find this question, “you don’t trust Owens?” to a bit more thought-provoking than I think it was ever intended to be, but I wouldn’t trust Owens! It’s almost debatable if he truly saved Will back in season 2: his diagnosis was wrong. But the point is that Mike is asking about Will’s perspective here. I remember the first time I heard Mike ask this, I was thinking the exact same thing Will replies:

“No, uh, I don’t know. I mean, he’s been good to us and good to El, but he wasn’t able to protect me. That was you guys who saved me. That was you guys.”

That closing repeated line is just the sweetest thing ever for Will to profess, and it’s also very true! It was Bob, Joyce, Hopper, Mike, and Owens who helped saved him. It was never just Owens.

And I don’t have much to say about their final lines that relates to this post, but I do love the synergy once again when they both believe that they’re going to step out into the fire together. “Looks like it’s gonna be up to us again.” “It always is, isn’t it?”

Finally, later on in the episode, we have Mike and Will’s heart to heart. (And side note: I think it’s a really sweet detail that Mike and Will move from Jonathan’s room to Will’s room, showing how their conversation shifts from worry in a less familiar place to a pure, heartfelt confession in Will’s very space that he calls his own.)

“Thanks, by the way.”

“For what?”

“For knocking some sense into me. I mean, I was being a total self-pitying idiot.”

Now, as much as Mike is being quite open and honest in this entire scene, I love what the two say next that displays how it was always Will who was honest and, despite not talking about it, hindsight made Mike see that he was wrong:

“Oh, I didn’t say it.”

“You didn’t have to.”

Also, [emotional, tender music playing] starts up here! Just wanted to point that out, lol

“Hey, also, about, uh, about the last few days-“

“You don’t have to say anything. I… I was being a total jerk to El. I deserved it.”

“No. No, no, no, you didn’t deserve anything.”

Will takes the blame. He opens himself to the blame, but Mike shuts him down and arguably doesn’t acknowledge how much this means to Will - Will promptly stops packing his things and pays attention to Mike here while Mike keeps talking.

“Listen, the truth is, the last year has been weird, y’know? And I mean, you know, Max and Lucas and Dustin, they’re… they’re great. They’re great. It’s just… It’s Hawkins. It’s not the same without you. And I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El, and I don’t know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something. Does that make sense?”

Will nods to this. He’s listening. And honestly, I don’t think that I have anything to say about Mike being unaware here other than him being seemingly unaffected by Will’s tearfully pining expression, but anyway - what makes this moment so intimate is that Mike is showing his heart, here. He’s being honest and honest about none other than Will. He basically tells Will that he missed him and that home doesn’t feel the same without him.

“I have no idea what’s gonna happen next. But, whatever it is, I… I think we should work together. I think it’ll be easier if we’re… we’re a team. Friends. Best friends.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

Mike admits he’s unsure about the future. He “has no idea what’s gonna happen next,” but still, he wants to be by Will’s side through it all. A bit stunned, I imagine, Will can only reply, “cool.” To which Mike immediately reinforces.

This scene is truly special as it highlights a lot of Mike’s honesty, and I think that’s why this scene is so emotional. Besides the looks they give each other and the music and the camera zooming in, that is.

And if Will and Mike’s dispositional pattern isn’t enough, there’s more. In every season-episode parallel…

Mike is always on the left side of the screen while Will is always on the right! And even though the s1e1 scene and the s4e4 heart-to-heart scene don’t show this directly, we see them in over-the-shoulder shots on the left and right of each other.

Each moment (save for s1e1) has a key word or phrase repeated by the boys! We have the iconic “crazy together” in s2e2. Then we have the declaration, “stupid” as an adjective in s3e3. Finally, in s4e4, we have the back-to-back, “cool.” I love the easy and childish vernacular of each one, highlighting their relationship that is so uncomplicated and has longevity since they were young kids. These words are simple. They understand each other through the simple.

There are patterns in the wardrobe choices! I’m not sure how deeply intentional all these choices were, but I find a rationale behind each one, so here’s that: in s1e1, Will is in all three primary colors while Mike in a very dark blue, practically black. I think this can show how Mike is in the dark about what’s happening while Will is covered in red, yellow, and blue, each color of which show up throughout the show and highlight how Will is about to set off this journey. Then in s2e2, they’re dressed very similarly with their Ghostbusters outfits. I think this shows how they’re both on the same track, both afraid of what’s to come, but at least they’re together. Crazy together. In s3e3, the two are dressed in each other’s primary color, Mike in yellow and Will in blue (and gray), in which I’m aware I may need to explain the show’s general color usage, but truly, Mike is often dressed in blue and Will is often dressed in yellow, so their contrast in this scene helps depict how they’re in conflict. Lastly, in s4e4, we see them in their respective colors as they renew their friendship.

We also see the lighting alternate every season, from a dark atmosphere in s1e1 to a light one in s2e2, back to a dark and rainy one in s3e3 and then a light one in both scenes in s4e4. This one might be a stretch, but it would point to season 5 including a darkly-lit moment between them (meaning, potentially, flickergate??? 👀).

Overall, I think that these moments not only parallel in season and episode, but they all also reinforce the characters of Mike and Will. I really think that there’s a meaningful reason why we get these one-on-one moments and show their relationship expand through each one: the show is rooting for them and their growth.

(Thank you once again for coming to my very long TED Talk <3)

[ganymedesclock]

your thoughts on gorons being frustrated with Hylians has me thinking about the explicit dynamic they invariably develop with link; like even in the games where they have a very stand-offish relationship to Hylians, they vibe VERY quickly with link and hit it off with him really well so i think there's something very nice in how Link could be seen as being a very refreshing personality or similar to them in a way they can relate to.

also its kind of funny that the LOZ fandom as a whole tends to treat Darunia as this big, fun party guy and big brother figure when he's actually kind of a hardass, so you get a bit of an impression that his behavior to Link is the result of some execeptional circumstances, but he's a lot more serious than what he was built up by fan interpretation or nostalgia over the years?

Honestly the impression I got of Darunia was actually sort of a cheeky prankster? Not that he isn't taking things seriously, but like. when you first talk to him and he's in a terrible mood, the list he rattles out is fairly comprehensive and intensive- he comes off believably like a community leader who has a lot to think about.

The scene post-Dodongo's Cavern also has him sneaking up on Link by dropping on him from above, which, considering he had several other gorons ALSO waiting to drop above makes it seem like more than a bit of a setup / deliberate, and when he's rough with Link, it's conveniently in a way that a scrappy hylian child can handle unharmed. The "how about a nice Goron hug, brother? :D" feels like a group of people gently, affectionately hazing their newest 'little brother'.

It's also in contrast to, like. Darunia in just about every other conversation you have with him is shown to be canny and reliable. The Bolero of Fire, which is associated with Darunia's temple, is one Sheik describes in terms of loyalty and solidarity. Loyalty that comes from an idiot who doesn't know better, or a person who's so good-natured they give it away cheaply, is basically meaningless. By default, 'meaningful' loyalty has to come from someone who has standards; it means something that they chose to stand by this.

The gorons... I guess a semi-related side headcanon I tend to have about them is that because they're a bunch of super-strong, long-lived beings, they kind of have to be a given level of, not necessarily formal, but scrupled in how they deal with each other? A goron with a grudge can cause immense damage to the infrastructure, the city, and each other. In a society of supermen, things don't average out to "normal", they become actually pretty dangerous. Especially when you consider the priority many gorons, throughout the continuities, place on martial strength, whether that's more serious (Gor Coron's sumo duel in Twilight Princess) or sillier (GUT CHEEEEEECK)

So like. you've got a society of nearly-needless, nearly-indestructible people living together in an environment where everybody's gonna be stuck with everybody for the next several centuries. Similarly, I've always felt like there's some politics to how and in what ways the gorons use the term 'brother'. It's not just a friendly address; it's certainly, as you say, often a gesture of respect to Link, that gorons who are feeling warmer or more disposed to him start to refer to him with 'brother'- but there's also, a very specific moment in Twilight Princess where an entire room full of gorons are about to attack Link, and Gor Coron stops them immediately, and tells them that all of them do not need to attack him at once, "little brothers."

It immediately verbally places Gor Coron on the pecking order. Likewise, we see younger gorons referring to their fathers, but father-son bonds seem to be the only kind of familial relation the gorons have, and they don't seem to reproduce like hylians. There's not really distinct Men and Women that we can see; gorons are just gorons. Their use of masculine terms may even be an imperfect translation as they're speaking Hylian when we encounter them- I'd imagine gorons speaking the gerudo language would probably use the 'vai' terms since that's considered the standard unit of personhood.

Basically, I think that "brother" is not just a casual term of belonging, but an expression of the ethos of the gorons overall; any particular group of gorons is a pseudofamilial unit to which one is in a system of brothers, younger and older, and- for the most extreme cases of tutelage or superiority- fathers and sons.

I guess I like the idea that the gorons have a superficially simple impression, but, just like stones, their history is deep, vast, and extremely complex. The average rock scooped up off the ground doesn't look like much, but it might be a remnant of a former glacial ice age. To people who don't know much about rocks, we can take them for granted; the more casual geology you know, however, the more you realize this ostensibly simple, stupid, unrefined world glimmers with context.

And, because the gorons are a bit more active about it than 'mere ordinary rocks', we often get glimpses of the sophistication of their society without much elaboration. They're casually insinuated or interpreted as idiots all the time, but I'd love to see a take on Death Mountain that really hammers home besides aesthetic metal-and-mine that the gorons seem to be living in the industrial age compared to the rest of Hyrule's pseudo-medieval nature. Show me a goron city that comes off like, say, Iron Town from Princess Mononoke- entire buildings dedicated to blast furnaces and modern-looking foundries.

Heck, even that threads into the concept of loyalty to the Gorons- and that along with the gerudo, they're heavily associated with Din, goddess of power, as practically elemental spirits of fire and stone. Because by all accounts, with their massive advantages and superior technology... the gorons should have been able to level Hyrule and conquer it for themselves. Yet, despite this and their extremely martial culture, the gorons are remembered peacefully by Hyrule. Death Mountain's eruption is a hypothetical doomsday scenario, even though it's likely previous eruptions of this ancient mountain probably created the 'green fields of Hyrule' by laying volcanic soil in a bygone era.

It's like Hyrule, and its people, forget that the gorons are capable of destroying them- that their mountain earns its name as a pillar of great death. But I don't think the gorons are clueless about this at all- they can't. They regularly, often, live and work alongside Hylians with bodies and muscles that could rip a Hylian to pieces. Darunia can pat Link's head and bully him a little by making his knees give out but the kid still comes out of it harried rather than concussed.

It makes me think about a bit of lore from the game Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles, where the setting's dwarf-equivalents, the Lilties, are peaceful people in the timeline of the story but live in the shadow of an ancient conquest and empire that they later abandoned, to the point that one level of the game is exploring their great mine, which was abandoned when its supply of iron was exhausted.

Darunia, to me, warms to Link quickly, but it's not really until he sees adult Link in the fire temple, and nods, and says that he means to speak to Link man-to-man, that it feels like he actually 'respects' Link. Before that, it comes off more "haha, look at that plucky squirt go! I like your style, funky little man! here, take this wrist brace so you don't hurt yourself having fun out there."

Which... who knows? The gorons may relish Link's existence as a hylian they don't have to 'go easy on' and can thus trust with matters of slightly more gravity.

[twwpress]

Creator Spotlight #1: JessBakesCakes

Welcome to our first TWW Author Spotlight! For every spotlight, we’ll ask each featured author the same ten questions as well as questions submitted by you. Thank you so much to the wonderful @jessbakescakes​ (ao3: https://tinyurl.com/m9evs4bs) for kicking us off this week!! 

All answers are directly from Jess. Let’s give her a big round of applause and a lot of love for being our first featured creator! Questions under the cut:

1) What are your top 5 desert island fics by other authors?

like love in a drunken sky by thotsandfeelings: https://bit.ly/3pttb0F This is purely a vibes thing. It’s got COS era J/D all the way through parent J/D, and it’s really lovely.

nothing but the truth of my love by LookingForShadows: https://bit.ly/3QA2ROg I’m biased because this was written specifically because of a prompt I submitted, but it’s everything I could ever ask for in a future fic.

Dream of a Common Language by Nadera Furo: https://bit.ly/3CcIl1K This fic is beautifully written and it shows just how deep Josh and Donna’s connection is from the jump. One of my favorite fics of all time.

darling, so it goes (some things are meant to be) by mikaylawrites: https://bit.ly/3QKVT8E This is such a soft little AU that brings me joy every time it’s updated. J/D and pure happiness and fluff is just so fun for me.

i fall apart (and i thought i was so smart) by RoseyPoseyPie: https://bit.ly/3JYhhoZ This one has the angst and the fluff and everything in between. I think about some of these scenes every day. It was so fun to read this in real time.

2) Do you have a favorite character to write? Favorite ship(s) to write? Are there characters or ships you'd like to write more of? (shout out to @sam-loves-seb/@sam_writes_fics for submitting a similar question!)

My favorite ship is Josh/Donna without question, so I’ll focus on other characters for variety’s sake to answer this. My favorite character to write aside from J/D is Abbey Bartlet. She’s chaotic but has a big heart and cares about all of her adopted children very deeply. Characters I’d like to write more of… Kate Harper, and Lou. I don’t think I’ve ever written Lou in a fic because I think her voice is a bit intimidating to nail but she would be so much fun. And I don’t think I’ve written Kate because she hasn’t come up but someday I would love to!

3) Tell us about your writing process (setup/location? Night or day? Snacks/beverages? Computer/phone/notebook? Music or silence? Anything else you want to share is welcome!) 

I usually write best shortly after I wake up, which is a bummer on work days. But on weekends and non-work days I vibe really well shortly after I get out of bed. I don’t have to have any specific food or beverage items, but I definitely can’t write on an empty stomach. I write best on my laptop, though I have dozens of weird notes in my notes app with one or two lines of dialogue I didn’t want to lose but ended up forgetting the context for. If I’m writing based on a song/episode, I watch/listen to the source material over and over until I start writing and then I need silence. I can write with general background noise, but too much is distracting!

4) What writing advice do you have for others who may be reading this? 

Just write. Honestly. If you get too caught up in whether it’s good or not, or worry about it too much, it sucks the fun out of it. I have a rule that I only read through something three times before posting it, or else I know I’ll never feel confident enough to post. If you need more support/aren’t sure, find a beta/friend who you vibe with and tell them up front what you need out of the arrangement. Do you need someone to build you up? Edit for spelling/grammar? Help get you out of a corner? Tell them that!

5) From where do you usually draw your inspiration? (Other forms of media, music, tropes, etc?) 

It’s usually other ships on other shows, canon divergent stuff, or music for me. Or tropes. I love a good trope.

6) What is the fic you've written that you're most proud of and why? (shoutout to @sorkingirl for submitting a similar question!)

I have a usual answer for this but I think I’m going to go with just ‘cause i think of you in bed (don’t let it go to your head): https://bit.ly/3dqqYjF

This helped me break down some of my own baggage about sharing explicit writing and helped me grow (in a good way) as a writer. I think I’m proud of it for that reason, simply because of the growth.

7) What's the fic trope/concept/AU you'd read 1000 of? What's the fic trope/concept/AU you'd write 1000 of? 

I have so many but honestly, soulmate AUs are the one I love to read for J/D. There’s something about the two of them finding each other in every universe/being tied to each other that’s so beautiful to me. As far as writing, marriage tropes. I’ve done a secret marriage and a green card marriage and I have at least two or three marriage ideas bopping around in my head at any given time.

8) Is there anything you'd like to try writing-wise that you haven't yet? 

More friendships/ensemble-type fics. I would love to include more characters I haven’t yet, and highlight some of the friendships in both the Bartlet/Santos administrations.

9) What's your go-to Starbucks/coffee shop/other drink order? 

Starbucks: Double chocolatey chip frappuccino

Dunkin’: Frozen hot chocolate

10) Do you have any current projects you'd like to promote or anything upcoming you'd like to tell us about?

I’ll tease an eventual Gaza canon divergent fic I’ve thought about a lot involving Sam, Donna, and Josh. And M/ @thefinestmuffins​ and I would love to have everyone hop on board J/D tropes fest! https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Trope_Soup

Submitted questions:

From @thefinestmuffin: What is your favorite friendship between TWW characters? Do you have a favorite headcanon of this friendship?

This is so tough because the found family is so strong with this show and these characters are so close. I think one of my favorites that I would love to see more of is Josh and Kate Harper. The potential there was off the charts. My favorite headcanon of this friendship is that Josh and Donna take their kids to visit Aunt Kate and her house full of dogs, and this is how Josh and Donna end up with a dog of their own.

From @thefinestmuffin: When did you start writing (fanfic or otherwise)? And when did you start sharing your fanfiction (for other fandoms and for TWW)?

I’ve been writing since I was tiny. I used to write “books” as a kid. I started publishing my fanfiction in 2007 for Gilmore Girls (Luke/Lorelai all the way), and took a fandom break for a long time while I went to grad school. I published my first J/D fic in early 2021.

From @lemonylyman: What moment made you think “I should/could write about Josh and Donna”?

There wasn’t a specific moment for them, so much as I fell into a fandom rabbit hole. I finished the show, wanted to read fic again, and around the same time, someone commented on a fic of mine from a long time ago. I got the email notification, re-read my fic that I had no memory of writing, and thought “oh, hey, that’s decent, actually” so I started thinking about if I could write Josh and Donna. The moment I started to ship them was the “All the girls think you look really hot in this shirt” moment, but there wasn’t a specific moment where I thought “I’m going to write about these two”. I did know they had me with a buzz like my older fandom days, though, so I knew I had to participate in fandom in some way.

From @mlea7675: Who was the first fandom author you read?

Thotsandfeelings! I can’t remember for sure, but my first fic in TWW fandom was let’s give ‘em pumpkin to talk about: https://bit.ly/3A39uS9 or think I love you better now: https://bit.ly/3PuaUuM

The first one’s relevant with the new A League of Their Own series coming out, but the second one is just really lovely soft and sexy future fic. They were both out around the time I started reading, so I’m pretty sure it was one of the two of them.

From @s4mwilson: do you have an earlier fic you wish you could write again ?? have any tips that have made u a better writer ?? what's the most outlandish au you've ever considered writing ??

Earlier fic I wish I could write again: Ever Forward: https://bit.ly/3pp0RfE

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this fic, but I hadn’t fully firmed up my primary parent/stay-at-home Dad Josh HC yet. I just consider this a little AU of my actual post-series HC. If I could rewrite it I’d probably make the fourth inauguration day Sam’s.

Tips that made me a better writer: If you’re not sure about something you’re writing put <your general vibes/ideas/”insert more” in brackets or something similar> so you can find and replace and connect things later. Oftentimes, I realize that I don’t need a huge paragraph to connect two things, just a sentence or two. Also, get a beta/friend you trust or a text-to-speech app to read your fic out loud. That helps me get unstuck!

Outlandish AU I’ve ever considered writing: I have a bunch of AUs at any given point rolling around in my brain, but some of my most beloved are Teacher AU, Baseball AU, and Veterinarian AU.

From @flowersinapril_: when did you first come to the show?? tell me about ur watching experience? was it recommended did you find it on your own i wanna knooow

TWW was the last Sorkin show I watched. Before I watched it, I watched Sports Night, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, and most of The Newsroom. A friend of mine from another fandom tried to get me to watch TWW, and I watched through 1x04. At that time it wasn’t easily streamed, so I couldn’t find 1x05 (Which of course, is The Crackpots and these Women). Had I watched that episode I would have been hooked. But I gave up and never got around to it again. I’d heard it recommended a bunch and always meant to get back to it as streaming became more widely available. Then, I was quarantined in late 2020 and did nothing but watch the show from beginning to end in two weeks during my quarantine. It was such a wild experience!

Thanks again, Jess!!

It was truly an honor to have you be our first spotlighted creator!

If you’re interested in being featured for a future spotlight, please drop us a line here on tumblr, on twitter, or email weeklypressbriefing@gmail.com.

xx,

What’s next?

[petrichor-reminiscence]

I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship

Pairing: cc!Quackity x Reader

Warnings: cursing, uh i think that’s about it lmao

Word Count: 3.83k

Summary: you and big q have been best friends for as long as you can remember. hopefully, that will all change now that you’ve met in person.

Prompt: “We don’t have to be friends-” “You don’t wanna be my friend? Wha- Why? What did I do?” “No, you idiot, I’m trying to say I want to be more than friends!”

(this was for @sleepysoupi ‘s 1.8k writing event! you’re at 2k now so i’m a bit late lmao my bad, but CONGRATS ON ALL THE FOLLOWERS YOU DESERVE ALL THE CLOUT MY DUDE! :D)

♡♡♡

After a brief moment of silence, you and Alex both exchanged glances. He smiled, reaching up to poke your nose. You blinked, flinching a little, and he laughed. You couldn’t help but smile and laugh along as well; his laugh and smile were contagious, after all, not even the most tragic soul in existence could resist cracking a smile along with him. 

After ending the stream, Alex yawned and stretched - you did the same. You both had just finished doing a Roblox stream, dicking around and having fun together now that you had finally met in person, and it had gone on for a few hours. You were glad that he had called it quits when he did; sure, you were a streamer yourself, but Alex’s streams had a lot more energy and lasted longer than yours usually did. 

“Did you see how crazy the chat was tonight?” he questioned out of nowhere, breaking the slightly awkward post-stream tension and silence. You felt your cheeks heat up a little as you recalled all of the donos and chats from the stream. “We meet up one fucking time in person, and suddenly they treat us like we’re dating!” Alex laughed as he said this. You chuckled nervously along with him, rubbing the back of your neck and looking over at his setup instead of him; you were just a little too flustered to look directly at him.

Although, if you had, you wouldn’t have missed the adorable embarrassment written all over his heated face. 

“Heh, yeah, it’s pretty crazy,” you said with a laugh, “I certainly saw all their excitement and... interesting comments.” How could you not have seen it all? You had been hyper-aware of all the shipping going on between you and Alex, you’ve been paying attention since it first got started with a couple of Twitter posts and Tiktoks here and there. Once the snowball got rolling and started packing on more and more, you honestly found it fun to go through all the art tags and headcanon posts - and you had to admit, you were certainly guilty of reading the occasional fic for shits and giggles. 

At least, that’s what you convinced yourself it was. Shits and giggles. Just a joke, right? He was your best friend, Alex was your best friend… 

Which is exactly why you could never tell him just how deeply in love with him you were. 

Suddenly, breaking you out of your thoughts, Alex clapped his hands together. You jumped a little, and looked over at him to see him staring at you intently. “We’re going on a drive, right now.”

“Alex, it’s three in the goddamn morning.”

“Any fucking askers, Y/n?”

You laughed and rolled your eyes. “Alright, alright, fine, it’s drive-time,” you said, raising your hands in surrender as Alex cheered and fist-pumped into the air. He got off of his chair, grabbing your hand and practically dragging you out of yours, and he began to move across the room. Not letting go of your hand, he pulled you along with him as he went to his closet. You attempted to pull your hand out of his to walk across the room and grab your own jacket that was just laying on the floor by his desk, but his grip tightened. He looked at you and shook his head ‘no’.

“Alex, my hoodie’s over there, lemme jus-”

“Absolutely NOT, Y/n,” he interrupted, digging through his closet with one hand while the other firmly held yours in its grip. You cocked a brow curiously. 

“Why the fuck am I not allowed to wear my own hoodie?” you questioned, not quite catching on to his intentions yet. Once he had found what he was looking for, he pulled it off the hanger with a shit-eating grin. 

“Because mine are better~” he cooed, pushing the hoodie at your chest. You clutched it with your free hand, a little stunned. Sure, you were his best friend, but you had never worn any of his hoodies before! While he continued rummaging around his closet looking for a hoodie for himself, you looked down at the hoodie that you held against your chest. It was a navy blue, pretty decent material, and clearly well-worn. 

You smiled, still looking down at the hoodie. You had seen Alex in this hoodie many times, whether it was during a stream, video, or when the two of you would facetime or call over Discord. The fact that he gave one of his most favoured hoodies to you was certainly a little mind-numbing, but you were starting to feel quite excited. Did this possibly mean something?

“Alright, we’re fuckin outta here!” Alex exclaimed, shocking you from your thoughts as he tugged you out of his room. Right, right, the drive. That’s what we were doing. Get your head out of the clouds, Y/n! He let go of your hand so the two of you could put the hoodies on and put on shoes. After you pulled your shoes on, you barely had time to pull the hoodie over your head before Alex grabbed your hand and dragged you out the door. 

You stumbled behind Alex as he led you to the car, a big dopey grin on his face. “C’mon, Y/n, you’re so sloooooow!” he jokingly whined, looking back at you, and you rolled your eyes; you also couldn’t help but crack a smile as well. What could you say? His smile was contagious. 

“I’m not slow, jackass, you’re just weirdly fast!” you retorted, and Alex scoffed in mock offense. He reached for the door handle as you went around to the passenger side, and he waited for you to get into the car as well before he continued. 

“I am not weirdly fast!” he gasped out dramatically, “I am the normal amount of fast, thank you very much!” He stuck the keys into the ignition, turning on the car as you giggled. 

“Suuuure, Alex, I’m sure that’s what you tell all of those ladies, Mr. “Sex-Haver”,” you said, putting ‘sex-haver’ in quotation marks to mock him further. Alex gasped dramatically loud, and you couldn’t help but laugh in response. 

“You fuckin take it back!” Continuing to laugh, you shook your head ‘no’.

“Even Vines last longer than you, and Vine’s been dead for how many years now?” At this point, Alex was laughing as well, and the two of you just continued laughing together. He didn’t even bother responding to that immediately, just letting his laughter play out as he backed the car out of his driveway and into the road. Once he backed into the road, he stopped, and looked at you. 

“Y’know, just for that comment? I’m only getting you a fucking medium when we get gas station slushies,” he said, chuckling a little, before he shifted from reverse and started driving. You cocked a brow at him. 

“Wait, we’re getting slushies?” you questioned. “Could we go back for a sec? I left my wallet in my-”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” Alex suddenly yelled, startling you and causing you to flinch a little. “YOU HAVE THE FUCKIN AUDACITY TO ASSUME THAT I’M GONNA LET YOU PAY FOR YOURSELF?” You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding; you thought he was about to yell about something serious, not just you wanting to pay for yourself. You rolled your eyes, chuckling under your breath. 

“Alex-”

“No don’t you fuckin ‘Alex’ me!” he said, cutting you off before you could argue with him. Instead of turning around like you had asked, he only sped up, doing the opposite of what you wanted. “Just for that comment, now I’m getting you the biggest fucking size we can fucking get!” You opened your mouth to argue out of guilt, but he cut you off again. “And there will be no arguments, otherwise I will get you TWO fucking slushies!” 

“Aleeeeeex,” you whined, reaching over to poke his side. “You’re too niiiiiiiice!” As you were pulling your arm back, he took one hand off the wheel and reached for yours, grabbing it before you moved it away any further. Your eyes widened, and you quickly looked out of your window, hoping that he didn’t see any of the embarrassment written all over your face. You were holding hands, holding hands with the person you’ve practically been in love with for who knows how fucking long. 

That giddy and lovey-dovey thought quickly made way for a more disappointing realization. You and Alex were best friends; best friends. You doubted that he’d see you as more than that. However, you couldn’t help but wonder as you glanced over at your intertwined hands. You smiled, enjoying the feeling of his warm hand and fingers interlocked with yours. 

Even with the doubts and insecurities, there was still the part of you that would think back to every borderline flirtatious moment and it would make you internally squeal. Every time he called you beautiful or complimented you, any time your eye contact would linger, any time he would jokingly flirt with you, and, now that you met up in person for the first time, any touches or hand-holding that were to happen - your heart felt like it would burst any time any of this happened. But despite your giddiness, you still would tell yourself that he’d never like you back and that you’d never have a chance.  

Maybe your opinion on that would change though if you just saw how he looked at you. Especially now, with your hands clasping one another atop the center console; the glances he would send your way were certainly more than friendly.

Alex had the same doubts, the same thoughts, the same idea that you would never like him back. You two were best friends after all, and he really didn’t want to ruin any of that. Even if it meant keeping these feelings locked away for the rest of his life, he would do that a thousand times over if it meant keeping you happy. 

Trying to focus on the road instead, he shook his thoughts away and continued to drive through the nearly empty streets. 

~~~

 After quite the eventful gas station trip, the two of you were on the road again, driving out to a spot that Alex had promised would be nice and secluded. The two of you laughed as you talked about what had happened. 

“PLEASE fucking tell me you got a video!” he said, and you nodded while laughing. 

“Of course I filmed that shit, you stuck your head under the slushie machine and just straight-up started chugging!” you exclaimed with a laugh. “At least we managed to get our slushies, we almost got kicked out!” Alex began to laugh even harder, and you couldn’t help but join him. 

“Worth it!” he said through his laughter, and you slapped his shoulder playfully.

“I swear, can’t take you anywhere,” you chuckled, and Alex smirked at you. 

“Well you won’t have to worry about that, Hermosa/o, I will be the one taking you places while you’re here,” he replied with a wink, screaming inside but not showing it outwardly. Your face flushed and you quickly averted your gaze, looking down at your lap. Hermosa/o. Hermosa/o. You smiled, rolling through the thought over and over in your mind.

“Hermosa/o, huh?” you questioned with a teasing smirk of your own, looking up from your lap to glance at your best friend next to you. 

“Of course, dumbass, did you understand? Maybe I need to say it slower: HER-MO-SA/O!” He repeated the word slowly and loudly, one syllable at a time, and you laughed. You covered part of your face with the sleeves of his hoodie that you wore, trying to hide your embarrassment as much as you could. 

“Hah hah, very funny, now c’mon quit joking around,” you said, leaning to the side and nudging his shoulder with yours. You weren’t sure if your heart could take it; you were too infatuated with him to have him tease you like this. You had already come to your conclusion that he wasn’t going to return your feelings and that you’d just remain friends for the rest of your lives, so why did he have to torture you and tease you with his flirtatious comments?

“Who said I was joking?” Alex said seriously, turning to look directly at you. You froze, unable to pull your eyes away from his. After a moment of silence, he had to look away to keep his eyes on the road, and you managed to pull your gaze away as well. You chose to look out the window, watching various street lamps and parked cars fly by your vision until it all just became a blur and you were lost in thought. 

The silence in the car was deafening.

Alex swallowed nervously, trying to push back the lump in his throat and trying to ignore his nerves. When had he gotten this confidence? When the two of you would call or text he would jokingly flirt, sure, but the tone he had used this time was different. He had fully meant what he said. Not that he didn’t mean it when he was actually joking around - he meant every sickeningly sappy word he said, always - but this time he actually hoped you would take it seriously. Or did he even want that at all?

Fucking shit, I hate random surges of confidence. 

Whether it was the late-night adventure adrenaline that brought his confidence or something else that he couldn’t pinpoint, he didn’t really care; either way, he needed to figure out how to keep himself together if he was going to be saying shit like that out of nowhere. He took a quick glance at you, relieved when he saw you were no longer looking at him. He didn’t know if he’d be able to handle any sort of eye contact with you right now, he was barely managing to keep himself together with you simply sitting next to him. 

Why am I trying to make moves now that we’re in person? Why haven’t I done this before? Why am I doing this at all? What the fuck am I doing? Alex took a breath to steady himself, trying to calm his nerves and steady his thoughts. 

Making you wear his hoodie, holding your hand, taking you out for a drive and buying you a slushie; of course these were things that any friends could do, but he was trying to be more than that. He really wasn’t the greatest when it came to romance, but dammit he was trying, and tonight… - he took another quick glance at you then returned his gaze to the road, a smile on his face - tonight would be the night that he would tell you how he felt. 

After a bit longer of a drive - a drive that remained in incredibly awkward and tense silence - the two of you arrived at Alex’s favourite spot. It was a small dirt lot atop a hill on the outskirts of town; a place with an amazing view of not only the stars and trees around you but the bright lights of all the buildings below. Many of the local teens went here to make out, confess their love, or fuck in the backseat; and if everything went according to plan, one of those things would be happening tonight. 

The confession, of course. Alex couldn’t lie to himself and say that he hasn’t fantasized about the other options sometimes though,  but the main agenda here was confession. 

And you were thinking the exact same thing. 

During the silence of the drive, it left you some time to think - just as Alex had. You thought about all of his little gestures, overanalyzed any interaction between the two of you that you could think of, and you had finally decided that you were going to tell him tonight. You were going to tell him how you felt. 

Now, during this silence you had also spent a lot of your time prepping for rejection - that was what you were expecting, after all. You were expecting him to look at you with some sort of pitying smile, then apologize and tell you he didn’t feel the same. Sure, it would crush you emotionally, but then hopefully you could just try to act like nothing happened after the fact. 

So, here you both were, sitting in the empty dirt lot, each planning on confessing to the other and preparing for rejection. 

“Hey, uh, Y/n, w-we should uh sit on the hood or something,” Alex said, breaking the awkward silence as he turned off the car and pulled the keys from the ignition. “The view’s better without a dirty-ass windshield, trust me.” He looked over at you and smiled, that damn smile that always sent a whirlwind of butterflies through your stomach, and you smiled back with a small laugh. 

The two of you got out of his car and climbed on top of the hood. Was this good for the car? Honestly, who knows; you couldn’t be bothered by that at the moment. You were too preoccupied by your best friend that was sitting directly next to you, cuddling close for the body heat because of the cold nighttime air. After a shiver ran through our body, he instinctively wrapped an arm around you and pulled you closer. 

It was just you two and the silence for a while, the breeze the only thing playing in your ears as you mindlessly stared down at the city lights below. Your mind was plagued with worries and insecurities, thoughts racing. 

Alex felt the same way; his thoughts were everywhere all at once, every subject winding back to you until he was unable to escape what he knew was inevitable. You knew what was inevitable as well. 

You both just had to confess to the other. Now. 

“Hey I-” the two of you began at the same time, turning your heads to look at each other before erupting into laughter. 

“You go first,” you said through your laughter, not wanting to say your piece first. You were utterly terrified, and wanted to hold off on confessing for as long as possible. 

“No no, you go first dude,” Alex said, waving a hand dismissively. “Please, I insist.” Unknown to you, he had the exact same tactic: put off the confession. You sighed, rolling your eyes and trying to ignore how your heart began to race. 

“Alright, fine,” you said, then took a deep breath. “So, Alex, I… uh…” you groaned, looking down at your lap. “This is a lot harder than I thought it would be, what the fuck do I even say?” you muttered quietly to yourself before taking another deep breath. “Okay, fuck, uh… so, Alex,” you began, looking up to nervously look into his eyes. “We don’t have to be friends-”

You didn’t even get the chance to finish your thought before Alex cut in desperately with wide eyes. “You don’t wanna be my friend? Wha-” He felt as if his world had just shattered. Here he was, about to confess to you, and you say this?! He choked back the sob that wanted to escape his throat. “Why? What did I do?” 

Your eyes widened upon his response, and you realized you had just fucked up; you fucked up a little. Fuck, bad word choice! God dammit! You had to clarify your intentions, before you lost your best friend. “No, you idiot, I’m trying to say I want to be more than friends!” 

Upon hearing you say this, Alex felt as if the weight of the world had just lifted itself off of his shoulders. His mind went numb, and he felt lighter than air - he was lucky you were cuddling against him, if he didn’t have your physical presence to ground him he could’ve sworn that he would just have floated away. 

“... Oh.”

You sighed, shaking your head and looking back down at your lap. “Look, I’m sorry I made you think that I hated you or something there for a second,” you said with a chuckle, smiling nervously as you looked back up at him. “A-And I’m sorry for, uh… that. I-I understand if you don’t feel the sa-”

“Y/n I think I’m in love with you!” Alex blurted out, interrupting you. 

“... Oh,” you responded. At first, you were a little confused as to why his response to your confession had been so simple but now you understood. There wasn’t really anything else you could say to that. Your brain was haywire, you couldn’t even collect your thoughts if you tried, so why bother to say anything lengthier than a simple ‘oh’? 

“I think we’re both fucking dumb,” Alex said, breaking the tension, and you laughed. 

“Oh yeah, for sure,” you replied, smiling at your best friend sitting next to you. Or your… wait, what even were you two? You opened your mouth, just about to ask, but Alex beat you to the punch. 

“So, Hermosa/o, I have a proposition you can’t refuse,” he began, and you giggled with an eye-roll, gesturing for him to continue. “So, you are very poggers; and I, of course, am very poggers. We are both very very poggers. And I think that we would be even more poggers if I could be your boyfriend. So, what do ya say?” He wiggled his eyebrows at you, and you laughed. 

“As tempted as I am to just say ‘any askers?’ right now, I have to say yes,” you said, hugging him closer. 

“FUCK YES!” Alex cheered, fist-pumping the air before returning the hug happily. 

You had been fully prepared to lose your best friend that night, and in a way, you supposed you had - although, when you start dating your best friend, does that make them any less of your best friend? You had no idea, and frankly, you didn’t really care. You had one hell of a best friend, and one hell of a boyfriend, and you loved his goofy ass dearly. 

“I wonder how feral the fans are gonna be if we tell them,” Alex wondered aloud. 

“Will there really be any difference though? They already treat us like we’re dating, what would be any different?”

“Well, I mean, I can actually flirt with you and not pretend it’s a joke anymore, and I can openly agree with the chat when they call you beautiful~”

“Oh shut up, you flatterer!”

“What? They’re not wrong!”

“Uh, any askers, Alex?”

“Wha- hey!”

“Oh c’mon, you know I love you.”

“And I love you too, Hermosa/o; I love you too.”

[novelmonger]

Thoughts on Jedi Apprentice 3: The Hidden Past

Okay, this one has always been my favorite, so I am STOKED to read it again! When I look at the spines of the books on my shelf, this one is clearly the most beat-up (honorable mentions going to The Fight for Truth and The Evil Experiment, which honestly doesn't surprise me in the slightest - but we'll get to those in due time). It's angsty, it's dramatic, and it also was the book that taught me what dramatic irony is.

Unimportant aside: There's some kind of weird yellowed discoloration on the inside of the covers of my copy that none of the other books have. Don't know what's going on there. I mean, all of them are printed on pretty cheap, flimsy paper, but still....

Jedi Apprentice #3: The Hidden Past by Jude Watson

Chapter 1

The book begins with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan setting off on their first official mission together as master and apprentice. It also just so happens to be Obi-Wan's thirteenth birthday! He's officially a Padawan, and officially a teenager, so hopefully this will mean my complaints about what's being asked of him will be reduced. Judging from the track record so far, though, I doubt it XD

Qui-Gon forgot it was Obi-Wan's birthday! D: It's an important milestone, so he quickly thinks of a gift to give him...and it's a rock. A small stone he found in a river on his home planet (my sources say that his home planet is supposed to be Coruscant, but maybe that wasn't canonized yet when this book was written, because I feel like if he was referring to Coruscant, he would've just said so). I've always wondered if there was a story behind that, or if he literally just went there on a mission one time and fished it out of a river and just...kept it in his pocket for years and years.

"Only by remembering the past are we able to learn from the present." - This feels like a really fitting thing for Qui-Gon to say, right after his struggles in the previous book about learning from his own past.

"Obi-Wan trailed after Qui-Gon, fighting off a feeling of hopelessness. Would he ever please his new Master? Just when he felt Qui-Gon had given him the strong base of his trust, he found himself hanging free. Now he realized that the only thing Qui-Gon had ever truly given him was a rock." - Oh, baby, no.... ☯^☯

Chapter 5

Instead of going to the planet they're supposed to go to for their first mission, their pilot starts talking about a fuel leak, and how they have to make an emergency landing on the nearest planet...which curiously happens to be Phindar - the home planet of their pilot. It becomes pretty clear pretty fast that this was all a setup; their pilot lands, makes himself scarce, and leaves them in the lurch as Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan have to fight off a bunch of assassin droids. After this, the Jedi wander around, noticing that Phindar seems to be going through very hard times, the people beaten down and hopeless.

Just then, their pilot finds them again and leads them to a grubby little cafe. And there in the back room is...Guerra! Their pilot is is his brother, Paxxi, and this was all their ingenious plan to get back to their home planet and maybe even recruit some Jedi help with the criminal organization that holds their planet captive.

I'd totally forgotten that the brothers call them "Obawan" and "Jedi-Gon" XD I love it!

These brothers and their "laugh in the face of death" disposition makes them some of my favorite supporting characters in the entire series. Here, have a fun interaction from this chapter: "'You're a criminal?' Obi-Wan couldn't believe it. 'Oh, yes, but such a little one,' Guerra said. 'Not so, brother!' You have a price on your head!' Paxxi chortled. 'As do I! Assassin droids are ordered to shoot on sight!' 'So, it is true, brother!' Guerra agreed. 'You are right again, for the first time!'"

Chapter 6

"'Let me get this straight. You want two Jedi to help two common thieves steal a treasure from a bunch of gangsters?' 'Yes, exactly!' 'Wait, brother, we should explain further. We should assure the Jedi that we are far more interested in liberating our people than in stealing treasure.'" - Yeah, that sums up the plot of this book pretty well :P

In summation, Guerra and Paxxi are (in their own words) "freedom fighters who steal," and want the Jedi to help them free their planet from the corrupt gangsters who call themselves Syndicat.

Chapter 7

Assassin droids come poking around, so they have to make a run for it across the rooftops. There's a brief moment that is really sweet, even though it's just a simple case of the Jedi using the Force to jump from one rooftop to the next. "He asked the question silently: Can you make it? Obi-Wan nodded instantly. Once again, Qui-Gon was impressed by his Padawan's sharp instincts. Obi-Wan always seemed to know what he needed from him."

A big plot point in this book is that the Syndicat has developed a way to use droid memory wipe technology on people, taking away the memories of anyone who dares to resist. Then they drop these "renewed" or reprogrammed people onto dangerous worlds and bet on how long they'll last. Kaadi, one of Guerra and Paxxi's friends, joins up with them and tells them that her father is one such person. Learning about this aspect of Syndicat's oppression goes a long way toward convincing the Jedi to help Phindar out.

"Qui-Gon felt a deep stirring of anger. Kaadi's bravery in the face of her distress about her father had touched him. Even Guerra and Paxxi had moved him. Behind their clownish behavior was deep suffering. He could feel it. The living Force pulsed in the brothers, strong and pure. He didn't know if he could trust them completely, but he knew they deserved his help." - This perfectly shows how Qui-Gon's Slytherin Primary drives him to help others. He sees other people's suffering and grief over the people most important to them, and he knows what that feels like, so he reaches out to help them.

Chapter 9

"You fought well, Padawan. Next time, you will do better. It is time to focus on the now." - I'm struck by the differences between how Qui-Gon responds to Obi-Wan's failings, and how Obi-Wan will later respond to Anakin's failings. The brothers take them to the Syndicat headquarters, but when they get to the treasury, they find it all empty and an ambush waiting for them. In the ensuing battle, Obi-Wan lets his impatience get the better of him and doesn't fight as well as he should have. And in the previous chapter, Qui-Gon definitely notices how Obi-Wan fails and makes a mental note to work on that with him later when they have time. But notice what he says to Obi-Wan. He praises him. He actually doesn't say anything negative to him at all, he just says, "you'll do better next time," showing that he still believes in his Padawan, even when he's less than perfect. Obi-Wan, on the other hand, we can see repeatedly criticizing what Anakin does and how he does it. Perhaps rightly so, but I can't help thinking that his critical approach contributed to where Anakin ended up. Makes you wonder how Anakin would have turned out if Qui-Gon had been able to train him....

Chapter 10

Plot twist upon plot twist! Terra, one of the leaders of the Syndicat, is revealed to be Guerra and Paxxi's sister, who was "renewed" when she was ten years old, then raised by the Syndicat to be cruel. Their mother, Duenna, chose to become a servant to Terra, in the hopes of bringing back the daughter she once knew. I forgot all about this.... :'(

Chapter 11

Aaaaahhh, the foreshadowing is so thick in this chapter!!!! In order to get into the vault with all the stuff they're trying to steal, they need to steal back a device Paxxi made that can get past any fingerprint lock, which Syndicat unknowingly took when they confiscated some things from the brothers. So they have to break into the warehouse it's kept in...but then security gets wise to their presence. Guerra, Paxxi, and Qui-Gon are able to make it out without being detected, but Obi-Wan gets caught! I know what it's all leading up to, but it's still so tense!

Chapter 12

"Part of [Obi-Wan's] Temple training had been on patience, but it had been his worst subject." - XD

Obi-Wan comes face to face with Terra, and sees a glimpse of humanity, of the girl she used to be, in her. But all the same, she sentences him to be renewed and sent off-planet. That's right, folks: Obi-Wan's memory is going to be erased!!!!! :O

Chapter 13

"He wanted to rush at Guerra, rush at the first Syndicat guard he saw, rush into the headquarters. His anger filled him, raw and pulsing, irrational. He was surprised at the power of it. Guerra had betrayed Obi-Wan on the mining platform. Had he done it again?" - (ಡ‸ಡ)

You might wonder why I'm not yelling about these people throwing a thirteen-year-old boy into a jail cell, planning to erase his memories and then send him to some dangerous planet and bet on how long he's going to survive. But the Syndicat has already been well established as the kind of people who do that sort of thing frequently. They did it to Terra, and she was younger than Obi-Wan is now. So this really doesn't come as much of a surprise.

"He pressed his forehead against his knees, feeling the fear overwhelm him. It filled his mind with darkness. For the first time in his life, he knew what it was to lose all hope. Then, in the midst of his cold and fear, he felt a warmth inside his tunic. He reached inside to the hidden pocket against his chest. His fingers closed around the river rock Qui-Gon had given him. It was warm!" - And in his darkest moment, Qui-Gon's gift lends him the courage and reassurance he needs so desperately. The rock appears to be sensitive to the Force, so he uses it as a focus for his power, using all his strength to make a shield around himself and his memories. Ugh, my heart TAT

Also, this reminds me that for a few years after reading this book, anytime I would happen to be at a river or a rocky beach, I would keep my eyes peeled for a smooth, flat, round rock that looked like the one Qui-Gon gives Obi-Wan. I had quite a collection at one point. Can't remember what happened to them....

Chapter 14

"Time and again he had tried to formulate a plan, only to be filled with anguish at the thought of Obi-Wan's plight. He was rocked to the core. The thought of Obi-Wan without his memory, without his training, was unbearable. He had failed his Padawan. ... If Obi-Wan had lost his memory, surely he would still retain his goodness. ... The boy he knew was gone. The diligent boy, so curious and intent on knowledge. The quick study. The boy who wanted to learn. Qui-Gon refused to believe that all that was all gone." - oTL

Chapter 15

They put Obi-Wan in the memory wipe machine, and he fights back with all he has, protecting every memory with the Force. We get to see a sampling of these memories, and...oh my. I don't know if my heart can take it T^T The main one I remembered was just little snippets of his family - and even though these books aren't strictly canon anymore, they actually line up pretty well with the memories he mentions in the miniseries. He remembers his parents, and a brother named...Owen. His brother is named Owen. How...odd it must be, years and years later, when he hands over Luke to a man named Owen who utterly loathes him and everything he stands for.

"They knew they could not keep him from it. He wanted it so much. Yet goodbye was so painful, so hard. A soft cheek was pressed against his. I carry you always." - Okay, I'm actually crying this time. Oh, Obi-Wan.... TT_____________TT

Obi-Wan acts like he's lost his memories so as not to arouse suspicion, but all of his memories are actually intact! He gets dropped off on the planet Gala, which ironically happens to be the planet he and Qui-Gon were supposed to go to. They send a probe droid with him to watch him, but he manages to shake it with some quick thinking. The only weird thing about that is that, earlier in the book, it was called a "probe droid," but now it's being called a "probot"? o.0

"The idea flashed into Obi-Wan's mind like a powered-up lightsaber." - Hee, instead of a lightbulb.... :D

And that idea is that he hijacks the Galacian prince's spaceship, which he's taking to Phindar to solidify an alliance with the Syndicat. Obi-Wan ties up the prince, dresses up like him, and flies the ship by himself to Phindar. Not a bad plan, kid!

Chapter 16

This is it. This is the chapter that taught me about dramatic irony. I don't think I knew about that term when I read it the first time, but whenever it was that I learned about it in school, while everyone else was talking about like..."The Gift of the Magi" or whatever, I immediately thought of this scene, and it made perfect sense. It's interesting reading it again, though - the glorious moment of irony didn't seem quite as all-encompassing as I remember it being. But maybe that's just because I knew the entire time what was going to happen. It's still a pretty good example of dramatic irony, though. Obi-Wan shows up on Phindar, and there's a sort of double irony - first, Qui-Gon and the others think he's the prince, and then they recognize him and are all confused because they think his memory is gone. But the whole time, the reader knows everything is under control ^_^

"'Look at him,' Paxxi said in disgust. 'You can tell the brute is evil.' 'Look closer. That boy is Obi-Wan,' Qui-Gon murmured. Paxxi gasped. 'Yes so, I thought he seemed handsome and brave,' he added quickly. 'And what royal bearing he has!'" - ◔‿◔

"Qui-Gon concentrated and reached out to the Force. He gathered it in, then directed it toward Obi-Wan like a cresting wave. He waited, every muscle tense, every cell on alert. His heart cried out for his Padawan to hear him. He felt Obi-Wan catch the Force and send it back to him. It broke over him like a glorious waterfall." - \(^o^)/*\(^o^)/

Chapter 18

Qui-Gon and the brothers manage to get the treasury emptied out, according to plan. The Syndicat leaders take "Prince" Obi-Wan on an inspection of the goods that they're giving to him to seal the alliance. But of course, once they get there, the treasury is empty. Blame falls upon Terra, who recognizes Obi-Wan and accuses him of being an imposter. But she isn't convincing enough, and is shot down by assassin droids. Everyone leaves the room, allowing Qui-Gon and Guerra to slip in and see Terra's last moments.

"'You don't remember me,' Guerra said brokenly. Terra's eyes cleared. For a moment, they blazed brightly as memory rushed back. 'Not so, brother,' she said softly. She reached up a trembling hand and touched Guerra's cheek. 'Not so.' Her eyelids fluttered closed. She curled one arm around Guerra's neck, rested her head against him, and died." - ಥ-ಥ

Chapter 20

In a final, glorious battle, the Phindians take back their planet from Syndicat, they destroy the mind-wipe machine, and Prince Beju escapes to Gala (to be seen again in the next book!). Qui-Gon suggests that the brothers run for governor in the upcoming elections, which...may be the worst idea he's ever had XD But it ends the book on a humorous high note, at least.

"I'm glad of one thing, Padawan. You have held on to your memories." - You and me both, Qui-Gon. You and me both.