#but his application was denied
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allastoredeer · 8 months ago
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I love the Platonic Pentagram!
Sounds like the start of a fun joke. Four Overlords and the King of Hell walk into a hotel...
Vox would literally die. LMAO. Bro took 4 Ls at once and cannot comprehend what their dynamic is.
Frankly, neither can Alastor, but he's pleased with the results none-the-less. Just a lovely group marriage of mutual companionship. Living the dream.
They'd all probably get together regularly for tea and card games.
VOX WASN'T INVITED TO THE PLATONIC PENTAGRAM AND HE'S SO MAD ABOUT IT. Boi cannot stop taking L's.
Alastor is having a good time. He's got his fellow oldie Zestial, his bestie Rosie, his coworker Carmilla who he's not especially close with, but she doesn't tolerate other peoples shit and he respects that, and his banter buddy Lucifer who he constantly throws hands with. It's just a fun time all around.
He is living his best afterlife.
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captain-astors · 1 year ago
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Creature. (The rendered ones are referenced from manga panels)
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alchemocha · 1 year ago
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Filled with literally so many feelings about jimbotnik I could burst from the seams
Just… thinking about him, his upbringing, the reasons he is the way he is now, what’s buried beneath the crafted image…
The loneliness he’s likely felt growing up. The depression and anxiety and self loathing I’m sure he’s had since far too young that he buries so deep if it were to escape again it would probably have 3 heads now. But you can only hold so much back before that dam bursts and it all overflows in a flood
He’s so fascinating to analyze and dissect psychologically, and to overlook his whole life. I’d really like to write some pieces touching on those things more directly, I have so many thoughts I couldn’t possibly convey properly just by babbling
Give jimbotnik the love and friendships he deserves!!!
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wonder-worker · 1 year ago
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"In reality Richard III invented a Woodville scare as a screen for his own conspiracy"
-A.J Pollard, "Richard III and the Princes in the Tower"
#lmao#richard iii#my post#I think that's true for all usurpations and coups to an extent#but its 10x more applicable and accurate for Richard III#Not only because of the compressed length of time (a mere 3 months as opposed to years of back-and-forth tensions)#but also because ultimately one of the key reasons Richard could do what he did was because he did it from the heart of the political#institution (ie he was an internal threat rather than an external one)#and he was someone who was trusted and loved rather than mistrusted and hated. His betrayal was political but it also had far more personal#ramifications for everyone involved - most people simply did not expect it from him and cooperated with him precisely because of that#which enabled him to seize power before most people even realized what he was doing#And there's the fact that he actually did stage a conspiracy by accusing the Woodvilles of plotting to attack and ambush him#and produced weapons from his own war in Scotland as fake 'proof' - when in fact we know that HE deceived and ambushed THEM#there's also the (propagandic) lie that they usurped him from the position as Lord Protector when they certainly didn't#either Edward IV didn't appoint Richard Lord Protector meaning the Woodvilles denied him nothing#OR the council collectively chose to have a council rule during Edward V's minority rather than a Protector (something they were entirely#within their rights to do both socially and legally)#so claims that they wrongly defied Edward IV's last wishes or broke the law (which Mancini repeats in his account) must be seen as exactly#that - propagandic lies to vilify EW and her family#when in fact Richard was the one plotting a seizure of power - whether it was as Lord Protector or as King#(of course these are just two things - there's a whole laundry list of others)#so this is definitely applicable to him
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narzissenkreuz-ordo · 3 months ago
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oh this feela really really bad and i feel so stupid to be upset over amth like this i just.
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steelycunt · 2 years ago
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if it were up to me anyone and everyone who wasnt my mutual would have to submit a formal document of request asking permission to mention my specialest little princess' name in any online space. it would be like applying for a passport it would be a hellishly convoluted and slow-moving bureaucratic nightmare of a process by deliberate design in order to deter people who were not committed enough to my sweet little parsnip there would be a rejection rate of roughly 97% and multiple stages including an in-person interview with me in a cafe of my choosing where i take notes throughout not only to aid my decision-making but also to put you on edge
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microcosmiclymbic · 17 days ago
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Really can't get over the fact that my therapist called me homeless
And I couldn't argue
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perlelune · 10 months ago
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NDA | Coriolanus Snow
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When you get hired as a nanny for President Snow and his wife's firstborn, you’re beyond thrilled and grateful. But quickly, the perfect facade melts, revealing the ugly truth of what actually goes on in the Snows' house.
Warnings: NON-CON, Capitol! Reader, Innocent Reader, Cheating, Coercion, Blackmail, Power Imbalance
This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.
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Your worried eyes track the frenzied glide of the woman’s quill over the notepad. You squint, hoping to discern some of the words she’s scrawling that way, but they are indiscernible…just like the stone-cold expression of the bespectacled woman on the other side of the desk.
She catches you trying to peek. Your heart jumps.
As her sharp green gaze zeroes in on you, you clear your throat and shift in your seat.
She puts her quill down and twines her fingers.
“So what do you think sets you apart  from the other applicants?”
You chew on your lip. When you arrived to offer your candidature this morning, you naively believed you’d be early. Instead, you were forced to join the tail end of the massive waiting line stretching far outside the Snows’ estate. It didn’t hit you before that moment, how prized the position is. Each of the women and girls you saw radiated excellent breeding and impeccable manners. Many probably attended the University and could double as a tutor if the need presents itself.
This isn’t your case. Your parents left you and your brother Laertes with nothing when they suddenly passed away in a rebel bombing. You couldn’t blame them. This wasn't the plan. Who plans on dying and leaving their two children to fend for themselves?
Still, you now have a list of bills the length of your arm coupled with a massive mortgage to pay every month. And as Laertes’ sole caretaker, you must ensure you can afford to send him to University once he completes his education in the Academy.
Circumstances denied you that chance. Despite being of university’s age, you couldn’t afford the cost of tuition and had to drop out as soon as you got accepted. You want better for your little brother.
So as soon as you heard the news that President Snow and First Lady Livia Cardew were in search of a nanny for their son Martius, you jumped on the opportunity to apply. You rose before the sun, rummaged through your mother’s closet to find her best dress, and hailed a car to come here.
It’s a long shot, of course. You’re not as polished and impressive as some of the other women. You’re also noticeably younger. But the wages promised alone compelled you to take a chance despite the odds being unfavorable.
Fiddling with your hands, you meet the woman’s impassive stare head-on.
“What sets me apart?” You mull over your answer. You could paint a false, august portrait of yourself, your skills and your accomplishments. Or try to at least.
But what would be the point of pretending to be someone you’re not only to be found out later on? So you elect to tread the path of honesty.
“Nothing,” you say. “But I’m a hard worker. A very hard worker. In fact, I already have three jobs, one at a bakery, another as a clerk in an antique shop and I assist Fabricia Whatnot at her boutique sometimes.” Panic quivers inside you as the woman quickly jots something down on her notepad. You swiftly specify, “...But I’ll quit all of them if I get the position, of course.” You lick your lips as knots tie your stomach. “I can learn everything there is to learn on the spot. I love children, and…” You trail off, gaze traveling to your lap as you muse if you should reveal more. Your fists clench as you add, “I have a little brother who’s a few years older than Martius, and I’m really hoping I get this opportunity so I can give him the life he deserves.”
An unnerving quiet occupies the air. The wait is agony, your nails digging painfully into your palms. The jagged drumming of your heart bleeds inside your ears as she studies you.
Eventually, she leans back in the velvet chair, her face betraying no thought or emotion.
“You’re dismissed,” she says.
Your heart plummets to your feet. You shakily rise, dispirited as you drag your heels towards the door. You steal a glance above your shoulder. The woman’s attention has already drifted away from you as she shouts for the next applicant.
You sourly exit the office. You try to swallow your dejection as you note how many women are still waiting in line, each of them likely more qualified and experienced. It’s obvious you tanked the interview. Shoulders slumping, you take resigned steps through the elegant, palatial hallways of the Snow’s mansion. You get lost in admiring the crystal and gold chandeliers hanging from the high ceilings. There isn’t an inch of the house that doesn’t scream excessive, unattainable wealth.
You take your time soaking it in. Chances are you’ll never step foot in such a place in your lifetime ever again.
Distracted, you don’t notice the person in front of you before it’s too late. You bump straight into a hard, inflexible body. 
The sudden collision threatens your balance.
Fingers coil around your wrists as you stagger back, preventing your impending collapse onto the marbled floor.
As your attention drifts skywards, your jaw drops at who fills your vision.
“P-President Snow, my deepest apologies, s-sir,” you stammer, flames licking your cheeks.
As if you didn’t make yourself look dimwitted enough before, you now carelessly crashed into the leader of all of Panem. Just when you thought the day couldn’t possibly get worse.
You take him in. It truly is him. Shock fills you. 
 Tall and dazzling in a crisp white shirt and crimson vest that hints at his lean physique beneath the clothes, his signature blond waves slicked away from his face, he looks every bit the important figure that he is.
The flickering TV screen you own at home doesn’t do him justice.
A gentle smirk unfurls on his lips.
“It’s quite alright. I’m not made of sugar,” he jests.
“No…you’re not, your highness…majesty...I mean sir.”
Your blunder expands his smile. His cerulean gaze drags over your frame.
“Are you here for the nursemaid position?”
“I am, sir.” You unleash a deep exhale, his inquiry tossing salt on the fresh wound. The interviewer clearly wasn’t impressed by your less than stellar performance. Maybe you should have tried to mimic the way the girls with whom you attended the Academy behave more. They carry themselves with such confidence, wading through the world with the certainty of their destinies being secure, bereft of hardships unlike district dwellers.
You envy how carefree they get to be. Everyday you wake up worried you’ll come up short on a bill and you and Laertes will be forced to leave your family home. No matter how diligent you are at work, there never seems to be enough money to sustain the two of you. Even with three jobs, you’re barely eking out a decent living for you and your little brother. Many times, you’ve gone to bed hungry just so Laertes would not.
You don’t even realize tears have filled your eyes to the brim until a handkerchief is daintily pressed into your cheeks.
Flabbergasted, you blink up at President Snow. 
“Thank you,” you exhale, stunned by his kind gesture.
“What’s the matter?” he asks.
You search his eyes. Genuine interest lights up his pellucid blue orbs.
Without much thought, you confess, “I just don’t think I did very well with my interview.”
As he scrutinizes you in silence, cocking his head sideways, embarrassment rushes through you.
Words anxiously leave your lips in a tremulous string.
“God, I’m so sorry, spilling my problems to you as if you’re not an extremely busy man, sir.”
He shakes his head. “It’s quite alright. And do not count yourself defeated, sweetheart.” Your pulse stutters when he bends over you to whisper, “You may have left a stronger impression than you think.”
He nudges the pocket square between your hands. It’s still damp with your tears. You gape at it in awe. President Snow’s initials are elegantly etched in the left corner of the fabric.
“Here. Keep it. Though I’d much prefer it if you didn’t cry.” He pauses, studying you. “Girls as lovely as you never should.”
His words send your heart into a frenzy. For a while, you’re too stunned to move. You then shake yourself back to reality, noticing you’re now staring at the empty space where he used to stand. He’s gone. You look ahead. He’s already miles away from you, wrapped in conversation with who seems to be an assistant of his. 
Your thumbs press against the soft fabric of the pocket square. Cheeks ablaze, you hold it to your nose. It smells like roses, the same delicate scent that wafted from him a few minutes ago. Your back prickles. You pivot and are astonished to find the envious glares of some of the applicants still waiting in line zeroed in on you. Self-conscious, you rush to continue your exit, fleeing away from the hateful stares. 
As the outside gates come into sight, you can’t suppress an elated smile. It’s not everyday someone meets President Snow and receives such a gift from him. Shoving the handkerchief in your pocket, you vow to place it somewhere safe and always cherish it. 
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When you return home, your brother’s already sitting in the living room, his tiny brows scrunched in concentration and his nose buried in his books. Your stomach sinks. Everything you did today was for him. You can’t help but feel you missed out on a huge opportunity, one that’d have changed the course of his life forever. You glance around at the apartment. The walls are crumbling. The wooden floors are creaking. The pipes in the kitchen have been leaking for weeks, a measly bucket you must empty every morning the only thing preventing a flood. And at night, the pitter-patter of rodents’ paws resonates from the ceiling.
Every inch of your family home is in dire need of repairs.
Unfortunately, every penny you earn goes into rent and food, meaning the house falls apart a bit more everyday. Perhaps one day, you and Laertes will awake beneath the rubble of what’s left of your childhood home. Nightmares of that sometimes keep you up at night.
“How was the Academy today?” you chime, rummaging through the kitchen cabinets. Worry twists your chest. There isn’t much left. You’ll need to make do with cabbage and whatever other veggies are left. Perhaps you could toss in some leftover dried meat and make a stew.
“My teacher signed me up for advanced trigonometry,” your brother announces.
You close the cabinet and beam at him.
“Oh, that sounds hard. I’m proud of you.” It doesn’t exactly surprise you. Laertes’ always been exceptionally smart. Even his teachers noticed how gifted he is from an early age. Unlike you, he breezed through middle school and now the Academy.
It’s why it’s crucial you make sure he can go to the University. A mind like his shouldn’t be wasted.
You brother shrugs, exuding nonchalance.
“It’s fine.”
You rush to him. You wrap your arm around him playfully and hug him in his chair, pulling his cheek like when he was little. You know he hates when you do that but you can’t help teasing him a bit. It’s your duty as a big sister after all.
“Don’t downplay it. My little brother’s a genius.”
He wriggles his way out of the hug, rolling his eyes. 
“Stop it.”
You head back to the kitchen and fire the stove.
“I’ll make you something,” you say, smiling at your brother.
His brows knit. “Make something for yourself first.”
You nibble your bottom lip. You truly hoped he wouldn’t notice, how much smaller than his your portions are. But he’s growing; he needs it. Much more than you. Besides, how can he focus at the Academy and be the brilliant boy he is supposed to be with a growling stomach? You won’t allow it.
“Laertes…”
He shakes his head, his expression firm.
“No. You always do this. This time, we split whatever is left.”
Heaving out a resigned exhale, you nod. You whirl to resume preparing dinner.
You gather a boiling pot from the overhead cabinet and place it on the stove. With the ease of practice, you begin chopping vegetables and tossing them into the pot. You add spices and water. The mouthwatering aroma quickly fills the kitchen. Pride swells in your chest. Your cooking skills have improved so much in the last year since your parents passed. You now manage to bring flavor to the blandest of meals. 
Once the stew’s ready, you pour a portion in each bowl, putting just a little more in your brother’s and praying he will not notice.
You place the steaming bowls on the table and take a seat opposite him.
“No books at the dining table,” you admonish, mimicking the exact tone your mother used with your brother. Admitting defeat, Laertes sighs and sets his homework aside. The tiny victory tugs your lips skyward.
He tells you about his day at the Academy while the two of you eat. You’re delighted to hear he’s making a lot of friends and he’s at the top of his class for most science subjects. He’s struggling a bit more with his poetry and ethics classes, but you encourage him by reminding him he can just ask the teacher for extra assignments to keep his grade up.
“I interviewed for a new job today,” you reveal, stirring the spoon in your bowl while waiting for your brother to eat more of his food.
“How did it go?”
“Well, it pays really well so I’m hopeful.”
The hope dancing in his eyes makes your chest ache. You don’t have the heart to tell him you made a fool of yourself today. You may not be gifted like your brother, but you want him to know he can rely on you at least.
Pursing his mouth, he looks down at his stew.
“That’s great. It’d be good if you didn’t have to work as much.”
Your smile falters. “Don’t worry. I have everything under control.”
“Okay.”
His dour tone stirs your concern. You wish you were better at hiding things from him, making his childhood as normal as possible. But your brother’s twelve now, and that’s old enough to sense when things are wrong.
He rises from his seat. You frown as you note there’s still food left in his bowl.
“Finish your plate before going to your room.”
Annoyance pinches his features but he still picks up his bowl and hastily guzzles down the remainder of his stew.
“Happy now?” he says, wiping his mouth.
“Yes. Very,” you cheerfully respond.
He gathers his books and strides towards his room. 
Your voice rises.
“Don’t stay up too late to study, okay? I love you.”
“I…love you too,” he mumbles.
You bask in the moment as you clean the table. Thankfully Laertes is still at an age where he says it back. One day he might not. So you must cherish every instant. Every conversation, every hug, every ‘I love you’. Because it could all vanish in a second. You learned that the hard way a year ago.
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The day of the interview recedes to the back of your mind as you keep living your life. Work is harrowing, as usual, but you tend to your tasks as best as you can. Your arms ache as you knead the dough in the back of the bakery. You give yourself a second to wipe the sweat off your forehead. It’s been a hectic afternoon. There’s a massive pastry order for some Capitol heiress’ birthday due tomorrow. So you’ve been racing between the front desk and the kitchen in the back. A baker called in sick today, leaving you with twice the workload.
You know it won’t take much to crash into your bed and fall asleep tonight.
To make matters worse, the day hits its nadir when you get your pay that day. You peer inside the envelope for the umpteenth time. An anxious chuckle peals out of your lips. 
“I’m sorry I don’t want to complain, but…this doesn’t match the hours I put in.”
The owner scratches the back of his neck, a contrite expression etched on his face.
“I’m sorry too. With the new taxes imposed by the Capitol, I had to cut your salary.”
Slack-jawed by the news, no word leaves your mouth as you stare at him. He sighs.
“If it’s a problem, we can find someone else-”
“No, no,” you interrupt, blinking in panic. “Please, I need this job.”
He acquiesces and you’re forced to thank him despite feeling cheated. You actually scaled back your hours for your other part-times since this one paid more. What a waste. 
Dispirited, you return home. As you give the driver a bill for the fare, your insides wrench. Every bill counts. Perhaps you’ll need to walk back home from now on. The streets of the Capitol are notoriously dangerous but you can’t see any other way to save your dwindling wages. You already know you’ll need to request an extension for rent this month. How will you pay it, however?
You suppose you’ll have to figure it out. You always figure it out.
These are the somber thoughts swaying in your mind as you check the mailbox. 
Bills. Bills. And more bills. Your already sour mood plummets even more. But a slim, silver envelope sticking out from the pile corrals your focus. Curiosity surges inside you. It looks fancy and there’s a wax seal with the Capitol’s symbol keeping it shut. You rush to open it, heart fluttering in strange anticipation.
You unfold the neatly folded letter inside. As you read the words, you gasp, dropping the letter. Still trembling from shock and excitement, you bend to pick it up. 
You take a deep slow breath before reading it again. 
This time, a squeal escapes from your lips. 
You read it many more times to make sure your eyes aren’t just conjuring wild fantasies. 
After a while, you realize they aren’t. It’s true. 
Holding the letter to your chest, you toss yourself on your bed and kick your feet excitedly. 
You then place your palm on your forehead. In disbelief, you beam at the ceiling. 
Somehow…you’ve been hired to work for the Snows. You actually got the job. 
Perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel.
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You fidget before the iron gates, smoothing absent wrinkles on your skirt. It’s one of the best outfits you could find on short notice that wasn’t moth-eaten or visibly overworn. You pray it’s enough. You let your gaze wander. The Snows’ estate truly is majestic. The lush gardens. The beautiful architecture. You feel a little small as you admire the mansion.
Remembering yourself, you pivot to the man who drove you there. You fish inside your pocket for a bill and hand it to him. He stares at you blankly from the driver’s seat.
A weary sigh ripples behind you.
You turn, your eyes widening. It’s the woman who interviewed you that day. She wears the same stern expression.
“You don’t need to pay him,” she explains, dismissing the man with her hand. He nods and drives away. “He’s your assigned driver. He’ll pick you up each day and take you back home.”
“Oh.” You offer your hand. “Nice to meet you…again.”
She gives you a lengthy onceover, completely ignoring your gesture. Then she motions at you to follow her. You let your hand fall to your side. Heat blooms in your cheeks. Perhaps, you were too enthusiastic just then. Straightening your spine, you try your best to keep pace with her quick strides.
“I’m Pandora. I supervise most housekeeping duties for the president. I’ll show you around the estate. Then you’ll meet the young Master.”
She gives you a tour of the mansion. You’re even more amazed than last time though you try to suppress your awe and not stare excessively. She shows you the garden as well. The sea of snow-white roses makes your head spin. She specifies that the only part of the house that is off-limits is the west wing of the mansion, as these are the First Lady’s apartments and she must have rest and quiet.
She ends the visit by taking you to the nursery. A smile spontaneously finds its way onto your lips. A toddler plays with his toy train on the floor. With his blonde curls and bright blue eyes, he bears a striking resemblance to his father.
“That’s him? He’s so cute,” you whisper. Even the stern woman’s expression thaws a little as she looks at the child, softening ever-so-slightly. You send her a questioning glance. She gives you a nod of approval. 
You approach the boy and crouch in front of him.
“Hi. You’re Martius, right?”
He lifts his head and beams at you. You’re immediately endeared. Again, his smile reminds you of President Snow. You suppose one could probably take over the world with a smile like that. 
You turn to Pandora.
“Is his mother around? I should probably introduce myself.”
Her face pinches. “Mistress Livia has been unwell as of late. She is not to be disturbed today as she is quite tired.”
“Of course.” Your lips squeeze shut for a few seconds but curiosity gets the better of you. A question burns on your lips, one that nagged you ever since you got the job. It slips out before you can think it through. “Is this…Is this why the president and his wife require a nanny? The First Lady is sick?”
Pandora glowers at you. You flinch as she steps further inside the room, her searing tone like a whip.
“You are here to do your job, and nothing else. Mistress Livia’s health is no concern of yours. Do you hear me?”
You rise on shaky feet. You forgot yourself.
“I-I understand. I’m sorry I asked.”
“This reminds me. You have to sign this,” she says, handing you a pen and clipboard. A thin stack of papers are attached to the clipboard. The front page spells ‘Non-Disclosure Agreement’ in bold letters at the very top. You scowl as you flip through the pages.
“What’s that?”
“It’s a contract, one signed by every one of the President’s employees.”
“I don’t understand most of what’s written here…”
A frustrated exhale peals from her lips.
“I’ll make it simple for you then. For the duration of your employment here, nothing you see or hear must ever leave this house. You are here to care for the young master, that is all. Nothing else should concern you. Is that clear enough?”
You swallow thickly. It doesn’t sound hard at all. Discretion is essential in every job, isn’t it? But the way Pandora makes it sound, you’d assume there are bodies buried beneath the Snows’ estate. You’d laugh if her death stare weren’t so disquieting.
You peruse the contract, perplexed by most of the legal mumbo jumbo filling the pages. None of it rings any bell. You understand the gist of it however. You must preserve the president and his wife’s privacy. While you don’t know the specifics of the first lady’s condition, her public appearances have been few and far between in the last few years.
She used to be the envy of every woman in the Capitol. Beautiful, young and married to the dashing President Snow.
She was a fairytale princess come to life.
Then their son Martius was born. And when they held him up from the balcony of their mansion for all of Panem to gaze upon, they truly seemed like the perfect family.
Until one day, Livia Cardew simply…vanished.
She was noticeably absent from all the events of the season, some she even hosted herself. Tongues wagged of course, rumors and wild theories spreading like wildfire. 
But no one knew the truth of what had happened to her.
The matter seems delicate. You promise yourself not to bring it up again.
You click the pen and scribble your name at the bottom of the very last page.
“I’ve…never signed a contract like that before starting a job.”
Pandora lets out a wry chuckle.
“Well, you’ve never worked for President Snow.”
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As promised, you quit your two other jobs to focus solely on Martius. You’re hesitant at first. Your departed parents taught you never to put all your eggs in one basket. And it’s exactly what you’d be doing by trusting the Snows. But when you receive your first paycheck, long before the end of the week, every qualm you had fades. It’s more money than you’ve ever had, more money than you expected. Rent isn’t an issue anymore. Neither is food.
Besides, gifts keep coming from the estate. Clothes mostly, for both you and Laertes, but also jewelry, perfume and other fancy things you don’t need. Overwhelmed by President Snow’s generosity, you try to send some of it back, but you don’t have the heart to return everything when you see your brother’s happy face when he opens his wardrobe one day.
You’ve caught the self-conscious glimpses he casts at his classmates sometimes, when not wearing the Academy uniform. Their clothes are always brand new and custom, perfectly tailored while his are stitched back together by your clumsy hands whenever they fray at the seams. You’re not a seamstress but you’ve always done your best. But you know your best doesn’t compare to the access and privilege those kids have.
Other than those blessings, your time with Martius has been a breeze. Only hazy memories of your brother as a toddler linger in your mind, but you don’t recall him ever being as sweet and calm as the little boy is.
It hardly feels like work, caring for the small child. You spend the day playing along with his games, reading stories to him and, as the day nears its end, the two of you feed the ducks in the massive pond behind the mansion. He even gives them names and gets upset when they fight with each other. 
“Lily doesn’t like James anymore,” he whispers to you one day, a sullen pout scrunching his tiny features. 
“And why is that?”
“I think she’s angry that he steals her food.”
You chuckle and ruffle his golden locks. The little boy always has a story for everything he sees. At all times, his world must make sense. So if he cannot find a reason to explain what fills his gaze, he’ll weave a tale that matches it. His stories are each more wild than the other and he sometimes utters words you’ve never heard a four year old use.
But you surmise it is expected from the son of the president. When he isn’t with you, the little boy is often with his private tutor. Even at his tender age, the importance of manners and eloquence is impressed upon him.
Martius tugs at your skirt when you make your way to the door. You look down. His blue eyes are pleading. 
“You’re leaving again?”
You heave out a long exhale. The little boy wasn’t so clingy before but with your bond growing, he’s been expressing more sadness from watching you go at the end of every day. 
You hunker down to his level.
“My little brother’s expecting me.”
His forehead puckers. “Stay…”
“I told you before, Martius. I have a brother. He’ll miss me if I’m not here.”
“Okay,” he mumbles, giving a begrudging nod. Tears already swim in his eyes though. Panic flows through you. You didn’t want to upset him. You pick him up and bounce with him in your arms to try to soothe him.
“Oh, no. Don’t cry, sweetie.” He buries his head in the crook of your neck, nearly squeezing you to death when he wraps his arms around your neck. His loud, tearful sobs swell in the room. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow like always, okay? So I need you to be brave for me.” His grip on you loosens as he sniffles. You put him down and the two of you pinky promise that you’ll return. Your heart twists at the sight of his tear-stained little face. 
You give his hair one last affectionate pat before rushing outside. If you stay, he might throw another tantrum. No matter what, you can never get mad at Martius. He’s just a child. In the absence of his mother, he’s bound to grow attached to any woman filling a role adjacent to hers. You loathe that you’re taking those moments from the first lady. Though it pleases you to have a steady job and spend time with the sweet boy, it feels wrong that she isn’t there. She should get to see her baby grow up. She should hear his inane ramblings and eccentric stories.
As time wears on, you’re dying to meet her and tell her about Martius. Is she truly so sick that she can’t even see him for a mere few minutes? You’re itching to break the rules and visit the west wing of the mansion. Sometimes you hear blood-curdling  screams and wailing coming from the dark halls but you never dared venture through them. You know that if you did, Pandora would crucify you.
Laertes’ well-being matters more than your curiosity.
Humming absently, you halt in your tracks in the middle of a hallway. Confusion has you blinking. A peculiar noise bounces faintly against the walls. Your gaze drifts sideways, where the noise seems to come from. You’re clocking out. Whatever’s going on in the house isn’t any of your business at this hour.
But what if someone needs help? What if it’s something bad? You’d feel awful if you learnt something happened the next day and you pretended to ignore it. So you gingerly approach the wall. Your fingers graze the tapestry covering it. 
Your eyes widen when the wall moves, a tiny crack forming in it.
Your eyes bulge. It’s an ajar door, you realize. A secret door one wouldn’t notice if they weren’t aware it was there. Light spills from the slight opening.
Confining your breath, you bend over the crack in the wall to get a glimpse of what’s behind it. 
The vision crowding your sight makes the blood in your veins freeze. 
President Snow rutting into a maid with his pants down to his ankles. His usually neat blonde locks are tousled, a few damp curls kissing his forehead. His massive cock glistens with the girl’s essence, disappearing into the girl’s spread lips over and over again. Her body is bent over the railing of the bed and her maid outfit is bunched around her hips, exposing her ass, the flesh trembling with each of the president’s harsh, pointed thrust.
Each time he snaps his hips he draws a broken moan from her. One of his hands is around the back of her throat while the other’s on the small of her back. He grunts low in his throat as she clenches around him, thrusting into her even faster than before. 
The obscene sound of their coupling rises, coalescing with the feral grunts spilling from the president’s mouth. In that moment, he’s not the poised gentleman you’re used to seeing, he is an animal in rut chasing his high.
A shocked exhale escapes your lips. Your hand flies to cover your mouth. President Snow’s head snaps up, his gaze landing straight on you.
Your heart slams against your ribcage.
You jump back from the door and push the secret door closed. You dart across the hallway, determined to find the exit as quickly as you can. You don’t glance back, your steps hasty and panicked. 
Pandora was right. It’s best not not to hear or see anything, to become a tomb in which secrets are buried.
You can only hope he didn’t recognize you through the tiny crack in the door. 
Though you’re shaken to your core, you continue your work as a nanny. You still need money. You may have set aside everything you made thus far, but it will only sustain you and your brother for a month or two. Besides, you’ve already handed in your resignation for your other jobs.  The positions have likely been filled. You can’t exactly show up out of the blue and ask for your former job back. 
No. So you convince yourself that it’s alright. You have a good thing going anyway. You’re making more than you hoped. The child is happy. You’re happy. All is well. Or it would be at least.
…If you could conjure the memory of President Snow railing into the maid far away from your mind. 
You want to forget it, bury the moment so deep in the abyss of your thoughts, it can never be unearthed.
But it isn’t so easy. Because every time your mind wanders even a little, you see him again. Skin glistening with sweat and blue eyes alight with lust. The image is tattooed into your brain. 
You wonder if the first lady knows. Perhaps it’s why she’s hiding away. The weight of her husband’s indiscretions may have grown too heavy to carry. It sours your heart. President Snow seemed so kind, good and noble. He was nice to you. You still have the breast pocket he gave you tucked away in a drawer. You loathe to think he’d do that to his wife. No woman deserves this.
You lift your head when your name is uttered. You get to your feet. Adrift in your thoughts, you didn’t realize Pandora was in the nursery. 
“Yes?”
“The president wants to see you in his office.”
Dread wrenches your gut. It’s exactly what you feared. Does he know? Did he see you? Your pulse picks up. What other reason would there be? He never summoned you before.
“Really, why?”
“He didn’t say, but I’m assuming it’s to congratulate you.”
Befuddlement wrinkles your forehead. “Congratulate me?”
Pandora heaves out a weary sigh. “Well, you’ve done much better than we thought,” she begrudgingly admits. “The young master smiles all the time.” She rolls her eyes. “Even if we must deal with his tantrums when you leave.”
A sliver of pride flutters through you with her admission. Pandora made her doubts about your capabilities plain and obvious from the beginning. It gladdens you that you may have changed her mind a little. 
“I’m sorry.” 
“It’s fine.” She turns to him, the ghost of a smile playing on her lips. “It’s a small price to pay for his happiness.”
Your smile vanishes as she adds, “Now let me escort you to the president’s office. He doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you trail behind her. The entire trek to the president’s office, your stomach’s in knots. You keep wondering if it’s the day you’ll lose your job for being too nosy. You should have walked past the noise. You shouldn’t have peeked. 
You inhale a lungful of nerve as Pandora opens the door to his office and frees room for you to enter. Your clammy hands wrench in your lap. He’s sitting behind his desk. You stagger further inside the room as he motions for you to sit in the chair on the other side of the desk. He looks the same as the first time you stumbled into him, disarmingly handsome in an impeccable shirt and pants that flatter his long legs.
A sharp contrast to the version of him that has plagued your thoughts lately. 
His sky gaze follows you as you take a trembling seat.
“Are you settling in well?” he asks.
“Hm, yes,” you stammer, anxiously twining your fingers. “It’s pretty much the perfect job. I get to be around a cute child all day.”
“I hear my son is very fond of you.”
You bashfully dip your head. “He’s very easy to like. He’s such a good boy, sweet, kind, and curious. You and your wife are raising him well, sir.”
He hums in thought. “I can’t take much credit for that. I’ve tried my best to carve out time for Martius…but work’s kept me busy. As for Livia...” He lets out a humorless chuckle. “Well she isn’t quite herself these days.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
He places one hand under his chin, scrutinizing you. You try not to twitch beneath his stare, your insides tight with dread.
“Hm, it’s strange,” he states after a minute that goes by like an eternity.
Your head rises. “What’s strange?”
“A girl like you.” His lips drag upward. “Sweet, nurturing, beautiful. Shouldn’t you be married already?”
Your lips part in astonishment. This isn’t the line of questioning you expected. “I-I’m not.”
“No fiancé?”
“No, sir.”
“A lover then?”
Warmth rushes to your face.
“No…”
He laughs, mirth dancing in his cobalt orbs.
“You must pardon me for being so forward but I simply find it astonishing. No suitors? It’s hard to believe since you’re so lovely, sweetheart.” He tilts his head. You shift in discomfort, his attention making you feel see-through. “I mean, a husband would have made your life easier than it’s been thus far, wouldn’t he, dove?”
A long exhale flows from your lips. “I’ve had offers, after I graduated from the Academy. There was even this boy, he was so kind to me.” The memory draws a small smile from you. “He proposed. I’m sure he’d make a great husband, but…”
“But…”
Your mouth dries.
“I know it’s probably naive and unrealistic but I want to marry for love, that great, life-changing love, like in those romance novels my mom used to love, not money or status.”
His eyes twinkle. “Or financial stability?”
Shame gathers in your chest. You know it sounds silly when uttered aloud. 
“I know, I’m an idiot.”
“No, you’re not. It’s sweet that you still believe in love.” He appears lost in a faraway memory, his gaze hazing over with remembrance. “I used to believe in it too. I used to think, ‘Who needs wealth and success and power when love conquers all?’”
He chuckles but it’s bereft of amusement. 
“Really? What happened then?”
His gaze locks with yours. 
“I grew up.”
Confused, you frown. 
“But aren’t you and the first lady in love?”
Another laugh bursts from his chest.
“God, you’re sweet.” His tone lowers to a dulcet whisper. “It’s like none of the world’s ugliness has gotten to you yet.” He reveals matter-of-factly, “My wife and I hate each other.” His smile widens at your flabbergasted expression. “Always did. It’s best that way, more…efficient. Of course, there was a time, when we had…passion.” He licks his lips, something you can’t pinpoint flickering in his gaze. “But not anymore. She’s far too gone for that.”
He rises from his chair. You stiffen as he circles the desk, making slow steps towards you. 
“Which is why I must…satiate my needs wherever I can,” he mumbles, fingers lurking under your chin, forcing your eyes to fall upon him. “Do you understand my meaning, dove?”
“I…yes.”
Discomfort flares within you. Tension hangs in the air, so heavy it clogs your airways. 
He cocks his head, lips slanting crookedly.
“Do you really? With that innocent look in your eyes, it’s hard to tell.” His thumb sweeps over your shuddering bottom lip. “Men have needs. And am I not a man, sweetheart?”
“Y-Yes you are, sir.”
He bends over you to whisper in your ear. “You saw everything that day, didn’t you?” Your heart stops.
Flames lick your face as you bow your head. “I-I didn’t see anything.”
His warm breath ghosts over your earshell.
“Liar,” he mumbles.
Your pulse quickens.
He leans back and nudges your chin upward.
“Since my wife fell sick, I’ve been very lonely. And sometimes…” He looms over you, crowding your space as you peer up at him, fingers squeezing the arms of the chair. “I need something soft and warm to forget that feeling.”
President Snow slowly falls to his knees in front of you. His fingers find your thigh, starting to creep under your skirt. A devilish glint sparkles in his cobalt gaze. He finds your center, pressing the sheer fabric into your folds. You gasp. He chuckles at your reaction. He starts teasing you through your panties, tracing your slit and dragging over your tender bud. Your breath hitches as the air around you grows hotter. You grow slick beneath his finger, your thighs shaking as tingles bloom on your flesh.
“Sir…” you whimper, tears welling up in your eyes.
He pushes further inside you, adding another finger, and you unleash an audible breath. You try to close your thighs. He places his other hand on your knee to keep you open for him.
The air in your lungs grows thinner as he rubs your core through your soaked panties. The friction is a delicious torture. Pleasure pools in your belly causing your face to burn with shame. You’re getting embarrassingly wet with President Snow’s attention.
“I just want a little taste,” he murmurs, his deep timbre bleeding lust. “Just one time and it’ll never happen again,” he promises fervently as his lips graze your ankle. You find some relief when his fingers disappear from your drenched center. But your respite is ephemeral. He slips his hands under your ass and tugs at your panties.
Panic widens your eyes. Cheeks ablaze, you pull at the material between your legs with both hands. But he’s stronger than you and effortlessly drags the fabric along your legs. A wicked smile plays on his lips as tears glisten in your eyes. It’s soon down to your ankles. You squeal when the president yanks the panties off your foot, tossing them aside. Cool air sneaks beneath your skirt, swirling over your bare folds.
Hands over your knees to keep you spread, his wolfish gaze sweeps over your glossy folds. 
Your skin heats, embarrassment gathering in your chest. You’ve never been this vulnerable and exposed in front of anybody before.
“Please, President Snow, s-stop…” 
“But you’re dripping, sweetheart,” he states smugly, sinking a finger inside your weeping core, as if to make a point. Your breath hitches. He takes his finger out sluggishly. You clench when he grazes one of your sensitive spots. “Just as sweet as I expected,” he hums, obscenely licking your essence off his long digit.
Without a warning, he buries his head between your thighs. A sharp exhale leaps from your mouth. His cool tongue traces a wet trail over your folds. President Snow traces maddening patterns over your swollen bud causing your eyes to roll back.
You card your fingers through his silken platinum locks, hoping to push his head away. But the delightful sensations grow too overwhelming. You unravel beneath his sinful ministrations, your limbs twitching as the thread of your thoughts comes loose.
Your grip on his hair weakens. Your belly tightens, your chest rising and falling rapidly. 
You jolt as his tongue flickers over your tender heap of nerves. 
“P-President…” 
He purrs against your folds and the vibrations rock through your core. You squirm in the chair. Your thighs quake. Your vision dims, your mind blank as waves of pleasure swaddle you in their tide. Protests scatter on your tongue, replaced by wanton whimpers and moans.
Electricity ripples through your spine as you cry out.
Bliss engulfs you and your legs turn liquid. Shame swirls in your gut as your juices coat his tongue. He drinks your nectar, elation rumbling in his chest. 
When he lifts his head, you hardly recognize him. The feral glow in his gaze chills your blood.
There is no time to collect yourself, realize what just occurred, as the blonde gathers your limp frame from the chair and places you on his desk. Documents and papers are flung to the ground as he grabs your thighs and presses his throbbing hard-on against your cunt. 
He hastily unbuttons his pants, freeing his hard length. He fists his cock and guides it through your wet entrance. Your back arches, the sudden intrusion robbing you of air. He reaches the hilt of you in a few seconds, giving you no time to accommodate his thick girth. You collapse over the desk, weak whimpers leaving you as your walls are stretched to their limit. He drags out of you, his pupils flaring as they trace the motion of his length in and out of you. Coriolanus leans over you. He snaps his pelvis into your hips, each of his thrusts tearing tearful moans from your throat.
When you turn your head, hot tears flowing down your cheeks, he grabs your chin so you’re forced to meet his lustful stare. Bracing himself on the desk, he reaches between your bodies to pinch your swollen clit. He plucks at your soft bud until you shatter around him with a sob. His throat bobs, a look of sheer bliss flitting across his face when you clench around him.
“I’ve been dying to fuck you the minute I saw you,” he confesses, trailing soft pecks over your collarbone. A sinister chuckle peals from his lips. “The way you looked at me with those sweet, innocent eyes…it made me rock-hard.” He tilts your chin towards him, his thumb skimming over your parted lips.
Satisfaction glimmers in his eyes as they flick over your prone form.
“You should thank me. Those boys at the Academy wouldn’t know what to do with a girl like you…” His cock twitches inside you. Sticky warmth spills from him, painting your walls and dripping past your hole. Drops of his seed leak onto the desk. A throaty sigh pours from President Snow’s throat as your cunt flutters around him.
His teeth nip the skin of your neck.
“...But I do.”
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After what occurs in his office, you hope to avoid President Snow. Those hopes are swiftly dashed however. President Snow lied to you. It doesn’t happen once. In fact, you begin to lose count of the actual number.
Every time the president finds a little spare time, he summons you.
Sometimes you end up bent over the desk in his office as he pours the frustrations of the day into your warm hole. Sometimes he prefers you sprawled on your back in one of the multitude of luxurious beds in the mansion while he devours you as if you were his very last meal. And at times, he grows even more impatient and simply shoves you against a wall before ravaging you.
More than once, a maid or footman has walked in on the two of you, and you’ve had to swallow your shame and embarrassment.
As you’ve come to learn, the entire staff is aware of Coriolanus Snow’s insatiable appetite and none of them seems to care.
You feel sick, desperate, trapped in something twisted and awful you never signed up for.
But how does one say no to President Coriolanus Snow? The entire Capitol yields to his every whim. And you are the same. Here to bow and smile and lie back whenever he demands it.
You long to focus on your job, to care for Martius and nothing else. Whenever the boy looks up at you with those innocent blue eyes, eerily similar to his father’s, your stomach wrenches. You pray he never comes to learn what kind of man his father is. You wish he’d stay just as kind and sweet as he is now.
Those are the thoughts drifting through your mind as you watch Martius play with his toy trains. Your eyes wander towards the window. Outside, orange and purple hues are bleeding into the sky, the afternoon nearing its end. Your stomach coils. It’s during times like these that President Snow often seeks you out. You’ve tried to run away from him but it’s all a game to Coriolanus, and he always delights in chasing you through the hallways.
Your brows crumple as you note that Martius has stopped playing. He drops his toy and rushes to your side. Confounded by his behavior, you’re on the cusp of asking him what’s wrong…but your gaze follows what caught his attention on the other side of the room.
You fall silent, your eyes rounding in shock.
“Martius. Come here, my love,” says the blonde woman in a white robe and nightgown, her arms wide open.
Time stands still for a few seconds. It takes you a while to realize who stands before the door. She looks so different, more ghost than woman, her glassy blue eyes hollow and sunken. But her likeness is unmistakable. Even with her graying, limp tresses and ashen complexion, you recognize Livia Cardew. The president’s wife.
You bolt to your feet. Arms still open, Livia takes slow steps towards Martius.
“I’m your mom, sweetie. Don’t you remember me?”
The little boy’s fists clutch your skirt as he hides his face against your leg.
“You’re not my mom.”
A stricken look twists Livia’s features as she shrinks. As if her own son just drove a knife through her heart. Your chest twinges. While her abrupt appearance is a shock, you can’t imagine how she must feel. You place a hand on Martius’ back and try to nudge him forward.
“Martius. It’s the First Lady, your mother. Go on, hug her,” you urge softly.
He shakes his head, tears filling his eyes as he hides behind you even more.
You’re stunned. Has it truly been that long?
“Martius-”
You don’t get to finish your sentence, Livia lunging at you, her eyes wild with fury.
“You! This is all your fault,” she hisses. She points at you and scoffs, “You’re his new whore, aren’t you?” Her mouth wobbles as she grips her head. “First you take my husband, now my son.”
Martius begins to sob. His loud cries overlap with his mother’s frantic yelling. You cover his eyes, tossing Livia an apologetic look.
“First Lady, I never meant-”
Before you can explain yourself, she grabs a nearby vase and smashes it. White roses scatter on the floor. Stomping all over the petals and broken glass, she collects one of the shards and races towards you. Terror numbs you. You freeze as Livia aims the shard at you, scarlet droplets dripping on her nightgown as she squeezes her fist around the glass.
Your eyes shut as you wait for the inevitable strike.
You shiver, waiting still.
But it doesn’t come.
“Livia, darling, that’s enough. It’s time for you to sleep and take your medicine.”
The familiar sound of Coriolanus’ voice causes your eyes to snap open. 
You watch him restrain a struggling Livia. She curses at him, fighting him with all her might. It’s a painful spectacle. 
“No, don’t touch me!” Other staff members rush into the room. It takes several people to hold Livia down, colorful expletives pouring from her mouth as she punches and kicks whoever comes close. “You’re killing me! You bastard! Give me my son back! Martius! Martius!”
The child trembles against your skirt, his tear-filled gaze stuck to the floor.
Eventually someone manages to stick a needle into Livia’s neck. She instantly goes limp, arm still reaching for her son in her last conscious second.
“Take her away,” Coriolanus instructs.
The first lady’s flaccid form is dragged out of the room. Still shaken by what you just witnessed, you don’t move a muscle. President Snow approaches you, worry swimming in his blue orbs. 
“Are you alright, dove?” He cups your cheeks, his brows crumpling as his gaze settles on your neck. “I’ll have Doctor Gaul look at you. She has an ointment for that.” He caresses your cheeks, smiling. You gape at him. How can he smile at a time like that? “It won’t even scar. I promise.”
You graze your neck. Your fingers come away bloody. Oh. Livia nicked you with the shard but you didn’t even feel it. Perhaps adrenaline numbed you to the pain.
“Dada,” Martius chimes, lifting his chubby arms.
Coriolanus’ face warms as he picks up his son. He tosses him in the air and catches him. Martius giggles through his tears.
“My sweet boy. That was very scary, wasn’t it?” he says, balancing his son on his hip. Martius nods and wipes his nose. Coriolanus flicks his cheek, beaming at him. “Don’t worry, son. The scary lady won’t bother you anymore in a few months.”
A wave of ice blows through your veins. You wonder why the president uttered those words with such certainty. Like a promise. Or a prophecy. Almost as if he knows exactly when the grim reaper will come knock on his wife’s door.
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The next day, you hand over your resignation to Pandora. Her expression is skeptical as she gauges the manila folder you give her.
“This is for the president,” you announce.
She unleashes a deep exhale. “You should reconsider, sleep on it.”
You almost laugh. Sleep on it? You can hardly find rest, the picture of a disheveled Livia Cardew crying out for her son haunting your nights. Whatever befell upon the poor woman, you wouldn’t be surprised if her husband somehow had a hand in it. It broke your heart, seeing her like that, her own son unable to recognize her. You also despise the role Coriolanus forced you to play in erasing her memory.
All of it feels wrong. 
And most of all, you don’t want President Snow to use you to satisfy his lewd desires anymore. He took all your firsts, all the moments that should have been beautiful, and made them a nightmare you have to relive every time he touches you.
You respected him; you admired him. Now you can’t be in his presence without dread whispering through you. What will he make you do this time? How will he make you small and powerless again?
“I can’t…I can’t do this anymore. He can hire someone else to care for him.”
Pandora purses her lips and shakes her head.
“It’s really not that simple. The president has developed…a fondness for you.”
You bristle. “I have to go back home. Laertes is expecting me.”
“You won’t like what comes next, trust me.” Her gaze narrows. “No one leaves the president.”
Ignoring the shudder elicited by her daunting words, you pivot and make a beeline towards the exit. Pandora’s voice echoes down the hallways.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Depleted, you glumly make your way to the gates. You enter the car that takes you back home everyday. Your thoughts wander as the Snow’s house grows smaller through the car window. You were thrilled when you got this job. It felt like kismet after the year you and your brother had. A rainbow after the rain. A slice of hope.
How it all went to hell so quickly. You’re still reeling from it. You’ve no idea what you’ll do next. The only thing you know for certain is that you will not step foot into the Snows’ estate ever again.
The car suddenly halts. You bump your head into the passenger’s seat. Wincing, you grip the sides of your head. As you retrieve your senses, you look around. You stopped.
You toss a questioning look at the driver.
But before he can respond, the car door opens and you’re yanked outside. Two pairs of strong arms drag you away from the car.
You take in the blue uniforms of the men. Terror pulses through your blood.
Peacekeepers.
Noting the guns at their sides, you stop trying to resist. There’s no fighting against them, ever. They are the Capitol’s fist and carry the President’s will. You don’t stand a chance. In fact, you likely never did. You slump in their grip, despair thrumming inside you.
They escort you to a black car with tinted windows. Your pulse soars. You’ve only ever seen one individual step out of this car.
The peacekeepers toss you inside and slam the door shut.
Your fearful gaze rises to him.
He casually sits in front of you, his eyes narrowed.
“You disappoint me, dove.” He lets out a weary sigh. “After everything I’ve done for you…you try to leave me. I thought you were smarter than that.”
You twine your hands, sputtering, “I-I’m not the right person for this job, sir.”
He slides his fingers under your chin, tilting it upward.
“Oh but you’re perfect. My son loves you. You’re sweet, dutiful and most importantly…” He smirks. “You are mine. Mine to hold, spoil and fuck whenever I please for however long I please.”
The prospect fills you with dread. He wants you to be his toy again, submissive, available whenever he pleases.
“Sir…”
His jaw ticks, his hold on your jaw tightening.
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your brother could attend the University, free of charge? A bright young mind such as his, I believe he deserves it.” His blue eyes twinkle. “Instead of, let’s say…end up in a District, his name chosen as a tribute in the next Hunger Games.” Your heart sinks to your feet. “That’d be awful, wouldn’t it? So cruel…” he mumbles, stroking your trembling bottom lip.
“No, please,” you beseech, tears swelling in your eyes. Your brother’s all you have left in the world. Nothing can happen to him. 
Coriolanus fondles your cheek, the tender gesture a sharp contrast to the wicked words rolling off his tongue.
“It’s all up to you, then, dove. As long as you behave, I’ll give you the world. But if you act like a little brat again…” A threat lurks in his soft tone, a glint of madness swaying in his cobalt orbs. “I really don’t know what I might do.”
Chills dance over your spine.
“I promise to never do it again,” you blurt out.
He pulls out a square from his breast pocket. It’s identical to the one he used the first time.
But a lifetime seems to have passed since that moment, the world now so different from what you imagined, and the man before you…even more so.
“Good girl,” he lauds while swiping away your tears. 
He shoves the pocket square back in its place. Coriolanus then beams at you as he starts unbuttoning his shirt and undoing his pants.
“Now, I’ve had a long, exhausting day. So how about you get on your knees for me and make it better with that sweet mouth of yours, dove?”
5K notes · View notes
maeumi-jng · 11 months ago
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lipgloss and kisses
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pairing: enhypen x gn!reader
synopsis: he watches you put it on and he loves to take it off.
warnings: fluff, skinship, suggestive-ish for hyung line except sunghoon, swearing, humour levels: bad, proof read ig
library: enhypen bookshelf
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heeseung
one word. impatient.
heeseung obviously thought you looked good with lip gloss. in fact he thought you looked good in anything. lip balm, lipstick, lip oil, whatever that was... the reason behind it wasn't the product, it was you.
you just had such kissable lips. he had always thought so. even before you got together. heeseung liked you so much to the point any time you'd bring out some lip balm, all his attention would be focused on your lips. it was a bit strange, he couldn't deny that. but heeseung also couldn't help that you were just so captivating. the care you took to put it on, ensuring nothing escaped the borders and if it had, the swipe of your finger that tugged those pretty lips down... god... it was a lot.
honestly, you spent a lot of money on lip products. the reason? heeseung.
that man was always kissing you. on the bus, during your night routine, before bed, when you wake up, when you cleaned the dishes together, after being a part for a mere half hour....
and it wasn't just a peck. no. it was like heeseung was consuming you're entire essence. he would be breathing heavily, hand supporting the back of your neck to bring your closer if possible, kissing you as if he had been waiting a lifetime to do so. small gasps would fall from your lips while he nibbled down slightly, tugging and pulling at what was purely swollen by this point.
you lost more product than you put on. take now for instance because this is how it played out every single time. especially in the case of your stupid lipgloss.
you were getting ready for the day, adding your final touches. heeseung, who was only half dressed, still sporting his sweatpants from the night, had his arms slung around your neck, chin nestling into your collarbone, being his usual clingy morning self as you began to apply your lipgloss.
heeseung, finally registering you were putting on the lip gloss, whispered in your ear. "come on, a little faster, baby."
"hee," you whined, cheeks beginning to burn already. this was it. you could barely get through putting anything on your lips without him urging you to hurry up so he could kiss you. "stop! i always have to reapply because of you. i'm not going to kiss you."
heeseung just smiled softly, leaving gentle kisses on your neck. you sucked in a sharp breath, trying to regain your focus. "why do you make this so difficult?" you mumbled, carefully applying the gloss to your bottom lip.
you could hear a huff of amusement slip out of heeseung's mouth. "you are one to talk... you know how i feel about your lips. yet you torture me every single day."
you suppressed your eye roll at your boyfriend's theatrics. "not my fault you're down so bad."
heeseung poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue, now watching you finish up without a word to say.
you had barely put the wand down let alone in the tube when heeseung's hand gently travelled to your chin, turning your head slightly so he could duck down and bring his lips to yours.
your half-groan and half-squeal turned muffled. your grip around the applicator tightened as you fell victim to the very thing you had been trying to stop. not that you were trying hard or anything. the gasp you released when he nibbled down allowed him to make a mess of you, slipping his tongue in to mix with your own and dance with the rhythm of your heavy pants.
heeseung finally parted, chest rising up and down with heavy breaths. his finger tugged down your bottom lip, only little remnants of your lip gloss dotting it. he sighed with a small smile. "you were right. i am down bad."
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jongseong
the first time jay saw you apply lipgloss in a mirror, he was hooked. he only had to see you do it once and the following day, he brought several lipglosses for you.
it was like a side quest for him. every time he gifted you anything, a lip gloss would be on the side. or when you were literally out for groceries, you'd find him in the cosmetics aisle and he'd turn to with a lipgloss on hand. grabbing your hand, he'd pull you closer to him and start to compare the lipgloss in the packaging to your lips. "hmm... i don't know... maybe the red one would be better."
as much as you loved it, you were beginning to complain once your draw began to fill up with several tubes of gloss, covering any other item you had in sight. what were you supposed to do with this much lipgloss? furthermore, they actually had a shelf life.... they expired.
when you brought this up to jay, he gave you the most careless shrug. "i'll just get new ones. besides, all you have to do is put them on. i'll just take it off."
oh?
oh.
jay would also be so fucking sulky if his favourite colour was changed or discontinued. it wouldn't be obvious at first but after finding out, he'd let out little sighs every time you applied a different colour and he'd keep on looking at the expiry date, wishing time would stop.
you did manage to find a dupe, however. and the moment jay saw it, he was over the moon. like thank god and the stars in heaven.
immediately he'd ask you to put it on. and who are you to deny your boyfriend's sweet request? so you opened it and applied the colour, conscious of jay's trailing eyes. the moment the wand went back into the tube, jay grabbed your face, examining your lips with the distance of a hairbreadth.
you felt warm in his grasp, feeling his thumb hover over your lips as if he were tracing them. a satisfied smile washed onto his face, the scrunch of his furrowed brows disappearing. he nodded. "beautiful."
your cheeks tinged with a heated flush. you couldn't help but just give him a long kiss on his lips, parting to find your colour imprinted on him. you grinned, imitating his own tone. "beautiful."
jay rolled his eyes, hand travelling to encircle your waist. your mouth dried at the sudden proximity and the intensity swirling in his brown eyes. "let me show you just how beautiful you are."
STAWPPP 😳🤭
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jaeyun
babe. listen. jake will stop everything he's doing if it means getting to watch you put some lipgloss on. sure, there's lip balm. but lip balm is not as pretty as lipgloss is on you.
pretty sure he has a spidey sense for it as well. like at any given time, if he thinks you're about to put on some lipgloss, he'll run right towards you.
you'll be in your room and you got a package the other day. it was some new lipglosses that you wanted to try. jake is in the living room, headphones on full blast, but yet somehow he can hear you open the package he brought from your mailbox.
you've just picked a lipgloss to try on and jake is already dragging the ottoman in the corner of your room to your mirror. "jake? i– where did you come from?"
"i heard you open your package, so," jake shrugged.
you blinked blankly. your hand stretched out to lift the headphones hung around his neck with a finger. "you heard me? with these on? jake, they're noise cancelling."
"i should sue for false advertisement," jake nodded to himself before redirecting his attention to you. his wide eyes flickering back and forth between you and the lip gloss in your hands.
you sighed, shaking your head. you knew exactly what he wanted. he wasn't slick with it. you had caught him several times, purposely placing your lip glosses randomly everywhere. on your bed, on the kitchen counter, next to your phone, next to the sink... the list was endless.
jake intently watched you open the lipgloss, head leaning in naturally. the push of your hand towards him surprised him but he realised quickly that you were fulfilling the question lingering inside his head: the smell of the lipgloss. taking a quick whiff, he noted the feigned berry scent, reminiscent of the warm plum colour it had.
you pushed down your smile at the cute little nod jake did once he was satisfied. taking the wand back, you leaned into your mirror, eyes narrowing and lips pursing.
out of your peripheral, you could see jake do the same, except his teeth were sinking into his bottom lip, far too focused on what you were doing.
his eyes trailed the tip of the applicator. the warm plum colour smeared softly against your pillowy lips, mostly sheer. it had small speckles of glitter from what jake could tell. as you rubbed your lips together, finally bringing in the entire coat, jake could tell he loved this gloss.
it looked amazing on you. or well, you made it look good.
you turned to him, wiggling your eyebrows. "what do you think?" you queried, jutting out your lips for him to see.
jake was at a lost for words. all he could do is grab your face with his hands and place his lips onto yours. your eyes widened at the sudden kiss before closing once you began to melt away at the pure fervour jake had within him. he was consuming you, attempting to get closer to you if he could and seizing any air around you.
you pulled yourself away, taking a big inhale of air. shit...
your eyes fell to the plum colour smudged across jake's lips. you were sure yours looked the same. you could've sworn your heart skipped a beat when a loose grin played on his face. "i love it."
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sunghoon
to be honest, sunghoon had never thought about this. like ever. he had never seen it, never mind with someone he really liked, so it didn't really register for him. jake, the most clingy person he knows, talked about it all the time. he was already down bad but whatever this thing was with lipgloss, it had jake go feral. and sunghoon just didn't get it.
like bro, it's just lipgloss? like chill.
sunghoon understood the mundane things. like watching you tuck your hair behind your ears, the way you would chew down on your lip when you were concentrating on something, or the scrunch of your nose when you would squint. he would never admit it to you, or anyone for that matter, but he loved that shit.
this lipgloss thing? eh...
but then he saw it.
sunghoon never really pegged you for a lipgloss person. you were always complaining about your hair getting stuck in your lip balm, which resulted in your tucking your hair behind your ears (a win for him). so he just figured lipgloss wasn't in your kit.
but you two were getting ready for a lunch date and sunghoon saw you whip out the warm pink gloss while he put on his shoes. he forgot all about doing the laces... eyes honing on your lips through the mirror.
now that he had seen it, he couldn't stop looking. he understood it.
it was so intriguing.
the way you had to purse your lips and apply such a pretty colour. the way the light bounced off the shine, glittering occasionally. the care you took... the rubbing of your lips to smear the colour evenly... the little satisfactory nod and smile you sported when you saw yourself fully in the mirror...
fuck, he got it.
after finally finishing his shoes, sunghoon walked up to you, watching you turn around with a wide smile. you wiggled your eyebrows. "how do i look?" you asked, giving a small spin.
sunghoon smiled quietly, mind full of only your lips. he dipped his head down to your cheek, leaving a lingering kiss on the soft surface before pulling back. "pretty."
you smiled at his compliment, your own eyes looking him up and down, hand rubbing his chest gently. you stood on your toes, pressing a quick peck on his cheek as well. "you look pretty too."
your eyes widened at the shiny pink stain on his cheek. "aw shit," you cursed.
sunghoon raised a brow, looking at himself in the mirror. his body paused on the silhouette of your kiss on his skin. he could've sworn his heart was thundering in his chest while a wave of warm washed over him.
you grabbed a fresh wet wipe from your vanity, hand stretching out to wipe off the mark but sunghoon's hand wrapped around your wrist, stopping you.
sunghoon gave a small smile at the confused expression swirling in your eyes. "leave it."
your eyes go big at his words. "b-b-but it's gonna be on your skin? it's so pink and so... obvious..." you told him, voice slowly turning into a whisper as his smile got bigger.
"it's okay," sunghoon murmured, grabbing this wipe out of your hand and resting it on the vanity before intertwining his fingers with yours. "i like it like that."
soft for this type of sunghoon 🥹🤭
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seonwoo
listen, seonwoo is the motherfucker that would apply it for you.
don't get him wrong. he loves watching you put lipgloss on. he admired the way you got so into it, blocking out the rest of the world for a good three minutes to make sure you had applied it well. besides, you looked so pretty.
but one day, you broke out of your trance and caught seonwoo looking invested in it. the surprise he had when you offered him the wand and a lipliner was like no other. you thought he wanted to put it on which was fine with you. especially considering you were secretly the one who loved seonwoo's lips the most. so soft... so pillowy and plump, perfect for any lip product.
but much to your surprise, seonwoo shook his head no and asked is he could put it on you. the offer was so sweet, you immediately wiped off any product on your lip, not caring that it was technically a waste, and sat ready for him to apply it.
and now... it was like a daily ritual.
every morning, as the both of you got ready, you would both decide on a combo you would wear for the day. and you would sit in front of the window, on the floor, sun beaming down on you.
it normally took three minutes at most to line your lips and then fill it with lipgloss. but with seonwoo, it took a lot longer. the both of you got distracted to easily.
he'd be lining your lips, unaware of all the sweet whispers falling from his mouth. "you're so pretty, baby," "i didn't know it was possible for lips to be this cute." and adding the final touches of your gloss, he'd say, "i just want to kiss you so bad... every day."
and this was your breaking point.
screw the lipgloss.
you would always end the entire moment by grabbing his face to kiss him. you could feel the sticky gloss move onto him, his soft pillowy lips absorbing all the colour and sparkles.
seonwoo would also get into it, pushing himself closer into your touch, making the kiss deeper as his craving for you expanded. his hands, free of the liner and gloss, would crawl up your neck, getting tangled in your hair. his eye would be completely shut, letting himself melt into you entirely.
the whole gloss thing always left seonwoo on fire. like he just couldn't wait to kiss you again and again.
you would leave the kiss by placing kisses across his jaw and kisses. practically adorning his skin in your marks while your hands fisted the end of his shirt.
you'd both spent the next ten minutes trying to wipe off the marks with wet wipes, talking and laughing about how maybe the lipgloss should be left to you, only for seonwoo to get sulky about it, refusing the proposition entirely. he was going to put your lipgloss on. even if it only resulted in it coming off.
you didn't mind though. seonwoo knew that deep down you'd wake up the next day and do it all over again just to kiss him again. because that's exactly what he wants.
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jungwon
jungwon is another one who doesn't really get it. he's just so caring and romantic that he revels in the simplicity of romance.
he likes that you're the first text he sees everyday, even when you're right next to him. or when you walk around in his clothes... hoodies, matching bracelets, and keychains. when he checked on you to make sure you had eaten and to see how you're day had been going. his favourite, however, was your random urge to poke his dimples. it always made him break out into a shy smile which you teased him for.
these simple things... they kept him going.
but then came the lipgloss his sister had gifted you for your birthday. you were a big fan of tinted lip balms, he knew that. he always pretended to gape at your drawer full of them because he knew you'd end up hitting him in the arm, annoyed by his teasing.
this lipgloss, however, was truly one of a kind. it was packed with some of the prettiest glitter jungwon had ever seen. to be honest, jungwon should've thanked his sister when he saw you first apply it the next day.
you were out having a picnic. everything was just right. the sun, the comforting breeze, and the warmth of your head resting on jungwon's lap, while music softly played from your phone.
as you were resting on jungwon's lap, eyes closed and absorbing the peaceful atmosphere, you suddenly remembered you had brought along his sister's present. jungwon, who was spending most of this tranquility staring at you and combing his hand through your hair, had a mini heart attack when you suddenly opened your eyes and were lunging towards your bag.
his sharps brows furrowed at your rummaging. "what are you looking for, baby?"
your tongue hung out of the corner of your mouth. "uh," you failed to respond, trying to find the tube that you apparently had misplaced so easily in your bag. "ah! got it!" you cheered, feeling the smooth tube enter your hand.
jungwon watched as you grabbed your phone as well and went back to laying on his lap. you slid your phone to the camera, turning it so it faced you. placing the butt of the lipgloss tube in your mouth, you expertly twisted out the applicator and moved the tube between your fingers to apply the product.
the whole scene was some sort of alluring contraption to jungwon. the dexterity of your fingers surprised him but nothing surprised him more than his sudden fixation on your lips. the way you applied the warmish red in thin sheer coats across your soft lips, letting the sun capture every single speckle of glitter in it.
you were radiating.
you checked yourself in your phone before putting it down. you looked up at jungwon's staring eyes and pursed your lips. "thoughts?"
jungwon remained silent for a second, internally contemplating. but, nevertheless, a sigh slipped out of his mouth before he pressed his lips to yours. the peck was momentary before he pulled back. "i think it's pretty."
a flush of heat travelled down your cheeks. "jungwon," you whined, jutting out your lip, only increasing his urge to kiss you again. "you took like half of it off."
jungwon grinned, dimples popping out, making you instinctively poke them with your finger. his lipgloss coated lips pressed a brief kiss on the side of your finger. "i also think i'm going to have to buy you some more lipglosses."
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riki
an interesting sort of impatience.
from the moment you started wearing lipglosses or he watched you put on your lip balm, riki was fixated on the act. he always pretended like he didn't care because for him it was slightly embarrassing. to be affected by something so simple, that is.
he never tries to enforce you like some people might by putting lipglosses everywhere or buying you them specifically. riki liked when it happened naturally and every so often.
on the occasion, maybe you were getting ready or you were testing out a new colour, he'd watch you out of the corner of his eye. patiently waiting for you to apply. why? it was simple because he wanted to come off.
he couldn't really grasp it. there was just this sort of annoyance that you had when riki smudged the gloss so it escaped the confines of your lips... and riki adored your reaction to it.
you'd always get slightly heated. whining and purposely trying to move away from him so you could apply it in peace. only for him to follow you out, resulting in you being chased around the house.
that was what he was impatient for. that very specific intimacy between you two. as mentioned, he enjoyed the natural occurrence of it. he could never make it happen. it just happened. and when it did, it would set the mood for the rest of the day.
like today.
you were already cautious the moment you saw riki walk into the bathroom in your peripheral. riki would raise his arms in defence. "i'm just looking for my cologne," he'd say, "i put it somewhere here because jake was hounding me for some.
you narrowed your eyes, silently turning back to the mirror and returning to your application. riki was next to you, pretending to rummage through the bathroom drawers. you can't miss the way he slowly rises up from drawers, his eyes fixated on your lips through the mirror.
by the last swipe of your lipgloss, you can already feel and see riki leaning in to mess it up. "nope!" you said, immediately retracting yourself from the bathroom counter, rushing to walk out of the room.
riki was hot on your tail. "oh come on... i'm not doing anything. i just want to spend time with you. is that so bad?" he asked, amusement underlying his voice.
you turned to him, now walking backwards out into the living room. "yes. it is bad when you have that look in your eyes."
riki stepped towards you, eyebrows pulled together in a feigned confusion. "what look?"
"that one. like you're going to eat me or something," you pointed accusingly.
riki rested his hands on his hips, standing in front of you with a slight tilt to his head. he clicked his tongue. he spoke with a nonchalant tone. "because i am."
the moment you see him take a step forward, you're off. you fell into a maze, running around your furniture which riki just inches behind you. you made it to your bedroom, in fits of laughter by this point and about to shut the door on his face.
but you're just a bit too slow.
riki's hand stretched out, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you back into him. you squirmed in his grip while he shifted the both of you to the bed with a soft thud.
"riki," you complained despite the wide smile etching on your face. your head fell to his chest, hair falling around your ears to cover your flushed skin.
a hum fell from his lips as riki's eyes flickered over your face, hand reaching out to push your hair behind your ears after he tilted your face back up. the action seized all the air around you. at least that's what you thought by the feel of your mouth drying.
"i got you," riki quietly teased, grinning at you.
you snapped out of your trance and rolled your eyes. you hit his chest playfully, a soft laugh following after. "let me go."
riki blinked at you, head leaning in towards you. you could feel his hot breath glide past your face. one would think your heart is in your ears by the sound of how loud it is. lips a mere millimetre away from yours, he whispered, "never."
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© maeumi-jng | do not copy, post (repost is fine!) or translate anywhere else! thank you ♡︎ requests here!
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fallhound · 1 month ago
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Hi! I'm Fall! And I'm screwed!
Got ghosted on some contract work I was banking on, and now I only have 14 days to make rent.
I'm an immigrant disabled trans woman in between visas, making finding work fucking hard here. Gov getting more conservative and pushing anti-migrant shit doesn't help. Got my benefits cut, and I can't partake of any gov aid or my visa application will get denied 🙃
It's my bday on Halloween, you wanna help a bday gal, don't you? Between 9 prescriptions, bills, rent, and food I'm looking at:
(oct 25) 861/850$ !!!!!!
ko fi | pp <3
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jlheon · 8 months ago
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୨୧ — kiki the cat (psh)
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pairing. brothers best friend! park sunghoon x fem! reader genre. college au f2l fluff wc. 5410 notes. ft. hyung line & chaewon, profanity library.
synopsis. you've liked your brother jay's best friend since you were five. you now go to the same college and one night on the way to the store, you stumble across a kitten. you want to keep it but aren’t allowed pets in the dorms. impulsively, you show up to sunghoon's apartment in hopes he'll let you keep it at his apartment for the rest of the semester.
JUST AS SUNGHOON SETTLED IN BED, SOMEONE RANG HIS DOORBELL.
he let out a loud groan, sitting back up and contemplating wether or not he was going to answer it.
maybe the person would leave him alone if he pretended he wasn’t home. he was about to lay back down when he heard the doorbell being pushed five times in a row.
“hoon!!” a muffled voice called out to him, then doing your signature knock.
it was you. his best friend jay’s little sister, or as heeseung liked to call you: the original sunghoon fangirl. 
as humble as sunghoon seemed to be, he could not ignore the line of girls who swooned over him on campus. as cliche as it is, it was true that many girls had eyes for him. they sized him up as either some untouchable god or a complete fuck boy.
but neither of those was true. you knew that best of course as the first girl to ever like sunghoon, or at least you hoped. 
at the ripe age of five, you declared your and sunghoon’s marriage, or rather future marriage.
your eyes flickered over the three boys your brother brought home with him from school, eyes coming to a halt and staring a little too hard once they landed on sunghoon.
once your eyes landed on sunghoon you decided your search for a boyfriend was over, because the perfect one was sitting next to you in the back seat. all thanks to jay.
whispering to the older boy that when you grew up you would fall in love and get married. he awkwardly nodded, not wanting to upset you because his mother told him never to argue with younger kids as they get angry easily. 
now at nineteen and twenty, you were still very adamant about your ‘pact’. even though it was only a statement since sunghoon never verbally agreed.
over the years it had been an ongoing joke between him, jake, heeseung, and jay that you were the reason sunghoon’s relationships were never long term.
which of course wasn’t fully true, but many girls just felt like he couldn’t fully commit to them. though the problem never being you, since you avoided him at all costs when applicable.
sure, you were down horrendous for sunghoon and wanted to fight every girl that looked his way (because they didn’t know him like you did), but when it came to his love life you never dared to interfere.
though when he was single, which was the majority of the time, you made constant remarks and jokes regarding your feelings for sunghoon. all four of them chalking them to be an ‘inside joke’ since they believed you only said those things to honor five-year-old ____’s dream. they all even played into it.
unfortunately it wasn’t a joke and you were undoubtedly in love with sunghoon.
of course, it was seemingly unrequited but you didn’t let yourself fall into a pit of teenage angst. instead, you let your feelings stay the same, holding onto some hope and the fact that in college you could meet a guy who liked you as much as you liked sunghoon.
a year after jay and his friends graduated you had gotten accepted into the same college as sunghoon. 
jay and his other friends going to a neighboring campus a forty-minute drive away. 
following many extensive meetings with your guidance counselor, you and your mother decided it was the best fit for you.
though you couldn’t deny that sunghoon being there was an added a bonus.
you texted him the night you had made your final decision, jokingly saying it was fate. 
he’d liked the message, and for a few minutes didn’t respond. you fell back on your bed in defeat, grabbing the nearest pillow and screaming into it. 
your phone then pinged, sunghoon finally responding with a short ‘it’ll be nice to have another familiar face around’. 
you felt a blush spreading on your cheeks and again reached for the same pillow to scream. 
you and sunghoon had had semi matching contacts for each other ever since you had received your first phone. again he passed it off as a joke, while it fed into your delusions.
you had him saved as husband, while he had you saved as ‘self-proclaimed wife.”
you’d rather it just be wife, but it was a start.
though he had changed it every time he had a girlfriend which was understandable, but would always somehow remember to change it back when they broke up.
you hoped that it meant something.
now that you had settled in and been going to school with him for a year, the two of you had gotten closer. as you saw each other frequently, around school, or even on rare occasions when you hung out at his apartment when your brother came to visit.
you had finally gotten as close enough to sunghoon to where you could stop complaining over how he didn’t like you and was content being a friend if anything.
IT ALL LED YOU TO BE OUTSIDE SUNGHOON’S DOOR AT ELEVEN AT NIGHT.
once he’d recognized your knock he got up and made his way to let you in. opening the door he felt an unfamiliar feeling bubbling up in his chest when he saw you in your pajamas cradling a baby cat in your arms staring up at him.
“who’s cat is that?” he made space for you to walk past him into his home, shutting the door. 
“it can be ours.” you sat down on his couch.
“i was going to buy a small cake roll for my roommate because she had a bad day and then i got distracted and saw this cute little cat and she’s allergic to cats so now i’m here because i want to keep it.” you rambled even more.
“did you walk all the way here? didn’t i tell you it’s not safe for you to be out alone after dark?” he scolded, sitting down in the empty spot next to you. 
“does your roommate know you are here and did you bring the pepper spray jay gave you?” 
“yes hoon i did all of that! i just came here because you live off campus so you’re allowed to have pets here!”
“what if i don’t want it ____? did you consider that?”
“you can’t say no to me, my birthday is coming up soon!” you sulked, holding the kitten out for him to see. 
“how do we even know that it doesn’t have diseases..” he argued. 
“because i found the nearest vet and we are taking it tomorrow!” you grinned. “can we please keep her hoon? you know i’ve always wanted a cat since we were kids!” 
he did know that. he remembered more things about you than you could ever imagine.
“we can keep him for now but if the vet says otherwise we are releasing him,” he said sternly. “but since you walked here i don’t want you going back alone so you’re staying here.”
your heart fluttered at the fact you were going to get to sleep at his place for the first time without the presence of your older brother. 
but that fluttering came to an abrupt stop right when he added “it’s what jay would want”. 
he motioned for you to come with him to his room so you could both go to bed. you followed behind him still cradling the cat.
“wait hoon we need to feed her and give her a place to sleep!” you paused in your tracks. 
he sighed but wordlessly went to his kitchen to get a small bowl of milk and an old blanket. He returned to the bedroom, settling the bowl onto the ground and making a makeshift bed for the baby kitten. he gently took the animal from your hands, setting it down on the floor, guiding it towards the milk.
you kneeled next to him watching the scene in front of you, eyes glimmering with envy for the cat at how gently sunghoon treated it. 
he looked over at you already staring at him and smiled softly.
“what will we name it,” he asked you softly.
“i want to wait until we know if we can keep it.”
with that you both stood up, sunghoon letting you take his bed while he tried to prepare to sleep on the couch. which you quickly shut down, saying there was more than enough space left for him, which was true.
after bickering for five minutes about where sunghoon would sleep he finally caved and laid down on the empty spot of the bed, hoping jay would never hear of this. he would be teased till the ends of the earth.
“goodnight ____,” he said from his side of the bed.
“goodnight hoonie,” you yawned. 
hugging a pillow you had put in between you two, you wished you didn’t have to sleep and could embrace the only time you would ever be in this situation with him. but alas your eyelids betrayed you. 
sunghoon struggled to fall asleep, extremely hyper-aware of the small proximity. right before he finally drifted off into slumber you mumbled a curt, ‘i love you’ in your sleep. 
he knew he shouldn’t assume that it was directed towards him and that you could very well just sleep talking. he told himself he shouldn’t think so hard about what you said. though the warmth spread throughout his body begged to differ.
however, one thing he knew for sure was that wasn’t going to fall asleep now. 
YOU WOKE UP TO FIND SUNGHOON ALREADY STARING AT YOU.
you quickly shut your eyes again feeling like you were crazy, while sunghoon cleared his throat.
he immediately stood up, went to the corner where you had placed the cat the night before and brought it back to you on the bed. you sat up, resting your back on his headboard.
he wordlessly handed you the kitten so you could cuddle it. then reached over to unplug your phone from his charger and give it to you.
your screen was full of a myriad of messages from your roommate chaewon. from asking if you were okay staying at sunghoon’s, if you wanted her to pick you up, if the cat was cute, and more. 
you hadn’t checked your phone since getting here last night. 
you told her you would tell her everything when you got home, not wanting to actively geek out about sunghoon while you were with him. 
fifteen minutes later you ended up in the kitchen. making some pancakes for the both of you while sunghoon got ready. 
“what time does the vet open?” he finally spoke up.
“like twelve?” you replied. “you mind dropping me off right?”
“i’m going with you ____, i’d like to be there if this cat is going to be living with me until you can figure out what to with it.”
“you’re really going to let me keep her?” 
sunghoon swore your eyes were shining when you looked at him. he needed to take care of this cat for you. 
since you had showed up last night with just your phone and kitten in hand, he needed to drive you to your dorm so you could get ready. 
both of you quietly eating the chocolate chip pancakes you made and heading out to his car.
reaching your dorm, he unlocked the car waiting for you to get out, expecting to just wait in the car.
“are you not coming in?” you hopped down from the passenger's side.
“oh,” he started. “i wasn’t sure if you wanted me to.”
“no, it’s okay! you let me sleep over and keep a cat so…”
you both headed inside and took the stairs up to your room. sunghoon held the kitten while you unlocked the door. walking in you saw chaewon at her desk finishing up some assignments before her first class.
“____, i said no cat.” chaewon said bluntly.
“i thought you had class!” you defended yourself.
“i don’t, and also the fur!”
“it’s fine, the cat is going to live with me,” sunghoon interjected.
chaewon finally registered you had brought someone with you. her eyes flickering between you and sunghoon.
“well i’m leaving now,” she started collecting her stuff. “i do not want an allergic reaction so make sure to borrow hanni’s vacuum.”
“where are you going if you don’t have class?” you sat down at your desk, directing sunghoon to sit on your bed.
“i’m going out with,” she coughed, not wanting to say the name out loud. 
“oh my gosh really?” you stood up, shaking her by the shoulders.
“yes! she asked me to go downtown with her-” sneezing before finishing her sentence. she pushed you away due to you being covered in cat fur.
“oh sorry, have fun though! send me pictures! oh my gosh did she imply it was a date?” you rambled as she put on her shoes and rushed out the door.
“bye ____!”
“bye chae good luck!”
you turned back to sunghoon sitting on your bed, cuddling the cat while he scrolled on his phone. unconsciously breaking into a smile at the sight.
“hoon, what time is it?” you asked, looking through your drawers for something to wear.
“11:04” he looked up from his phone.
“okay, give me like 20 minutes.” taking steps towards the bathroom to wash your face and get changed. in a couple of minutes, your makeup was done and you informed sunghoon that you were ready to go. 
THE KITTEN DID NOT HAVE ANY DISEASES.
sunghoon felt conflicted after getting the green light that the cat could be turned into a housecat after getting some vaccines. the veterinarian had suggested some food brands and tips on how to take care of the kitten, and before he knew it the appointment was over.
both silently entering the car. the car ride was silent. you sat there trying to figure out a name. sunghoon sat there wondering why his whole body had felt incredibly warm since you had shown up at his door last night.
he started going through a pros and cons list the entire drive home in his head. 
the pro he kept coming back to was you would be over at his house more often. 
but it felt weird to think of that as a pro. not because he wouldn’t want you to spend time with more but because you were to put it simply, just jay’s little sister. so why did he catch himself stealing glances at you every time he reached a red light?
a quick trip to the pet store getting, a bed, bowls, canned cat food, and some small toys you insisted on getting. you quickly paid, not wanting sunghoon to since a small kitten now inhabited his house that he would now co-parent. 
when getting back to his apartment the both of you set up the cat’s stuff. staying for a while before chaewon came to drive you home. 
“so, how was it?” she smirked, pulling out of the parking lot.
“i could ask you the same thing.”
looking down at your phone, it read: “sunghoon sent you money.”
sighing as he paid the exact amount as the receipt on your lap.
SUNGHOON WAS STARTING TO FEEL INSANE.
once he was alone in his apartment he texted jake. voicing his concerns but not name-dropping as jake would laugh in his face, telling him that he knew it was bound to happen sooner or later.
jake had quickly got fed up not knowing who sunghoon was talking about so he pressed the call button without hesitation.  
“you like ____ don’t you,” jake giggled from the other side of the line. “i saw her post that cat you were describing.”
“i don’t know!” sunghoon groaned. “i think i might, but she’s jay’s little sister.”
“so what! she isn’t your little sister! has jay has never told you she was off limits?” jake argued.
“no,” sunghoon mumbled. “but you could have worded that better you know.”
“i mean there's something between y’all,” jake advised. “she’s been in love with you since we were six.”
“she’s just joking.”
“yeah and i can drive.”
“no, you can’t-”
“i’m saying you're wrong and in denial..” the boy on the phone sighed. “how about you see what happens while you take care of your new child.”
“not my child.” sunghoon rolled his eyes.
“cat co-parent. gaeul would be furious.” 
gaeul would be if she could talk. sunghoon abruptly hung up. maybe he did like you to an extent, he was taking care of a cat for you for crying out loud.
THE NEXT TIME JAY AND JAKE CAME TO VISIT, SUNGHOON WAS UNDENIABLY ON EDGE.
for the past month you had frequented his apartment more than you could count on your fingers. coming after classes and staying until after dinner. 
it was starting to feel so domestic, thinking about how this is what it could be like if you and sunghoon were dating. indulging on the fact this was the closest you’ve ever been to him.
when jay saw the kitten sitting on your lap when he walked in the front door he thought he was seeing things. sunghoon had been an avid cat hater ever since his family got gaeul, and seeing that cat only further confirmed what jake had told him a couple of weeks back.
he was only waiting for sunghoon to come to him now.
“what’s its name?” jay asked, patting the gray cat on its head.
“her name is kiki!” you exclaimed. “you are now an uncle, this is my daughter.”
“so is sunghoon the dad?” jake giggled mischievously.
“um.. well i mean i’ve never asked?”
“i guess i am since she’s with me almost 24/7”
“____ or the cat-” sunghoon muffled jake with a pillow. 
THE SEMESTER WAS ENDING AND SUNGHOON STILL HADN’T TOLD YOU ABOUT HOW HE FELT.
the weeks full of rain soon turned into warm days. the tulips around campus had sprouted. an assortment of pink, blue, and purple flowers filling the grass. summer was right around the corner. 
though spring and summer only meant one thing, finals.
sunghoon had not seen you for about a week at this point. his finals had been done for a couple of days while you had all of yours during the last stretch before break. he stayed home most of the time thinking about how he could confess to you. 
from the time you had spent together, his apartment was your second home.
he didn’t realize the sense of normalcy having you around provided until you could no longer stay with him and kiki.
kiki had been doing great. she was no longer the scrawny little kitten she first was. she had healthily gained some pounds through her recommended diet, slowly warming up to sunghoon more as his only roommate.
sunghoon had given you a copy of his key so you could come while he was gone to spend time with kiki whenever you pleased.
his favorite sight to come home to was seeing you and kiki snuggled up on his bed sound asleep. sometimes he would even join you two. you intentionally never slept in the dead middle of his bed, always leaving room for him in case he came home, not wanting to be a bother if he also felt tired and wanted to lay down.
but as the semester came to an end, he knew that you would soon be able to buy an apartment and take the cat for yourself.
he couldn’t stand thinking of you not being there when he got home nine times out of ten.
he wished that he could just wake up one day from one of your afternoon naps with you snuggled up against him. 
SUNGHOON WAS TOTALLY FUCKED.
finals were over. sunghoon had procrastinated to the very last second, and now you were on your way to pick up kiki and head home for the summer.
if he couldn’t just get it out today once you walked in the door he would genuinely go insane. 
he had gone through a practice confession three times last night with jake on call. jay refused to sit and listen to it, but he did give sunghoon the go that he trusted him with his sister. 
he was pacing around his living room, failing miserably to calm his nerves.
“kiki what if your mom doesn’t like me back?” he knelt in front of the couch, the kitten becoming eye level with him. she got closer to sunghoon and sat in front of him, meowing as if she was responding.
“yea i hope so too, i don’t want you to become a child of divorce.” sunghoon sighed, stroking kiki on her head. 
“hoon why are you talking to the cat..” you spoke up, sunghoon being too immersed in his conversation with kiki to notice the door being unlocked.
“oh hi ____,” sunghoon stood back up, scratching his neck and facing you.
“hi hoon,” you took off your jacket and shoes. “are you okay hoon? you look a little warm.”
“no i’m not! um i mean i am but-” he tripped over his words. “i don’t even know anymore.”
“do you need anything?” you walked up to him, feeling his forehead.
“no, but can we talk?” he sat down on the couch, he gestured for you to sit down next to him, kiki climbed into your lap.
sensing the awkward tension in the room, you also began to feel worried. sunghoon looked undeniably nervous which then rubbed off on you.
what if he found out you liked him, that the ongoing joke was never a joke in the first place? 
“i’m going to say something,” he shakily breathed out. “and i want you to listen to it all before considering hitting me or something.”
“okay,” you nodded. “should i be scared?” and awkwardly laughed. 
“trust me i’m more scared than you.”
yo moved so that you were fully facing him, letting kiki down from your lap so she could roam and not interrupt. tilting your head to connect your eyes with his and give him your full attention. which was never hard for you since you stared at his face often. he cleared his throat and mirrored your actions, now face-to-face with no distractions.
“i practiced this but i think i might just wing it.” he started, avoiding eye contact. 
“i like coming home to you and kiki asleep on my bed, i like how you leave a spot for me on the bed even if you don’t notice it,” you felt like you were dreaming, watching all the words seventeen-year-old you yearned to hear before he left for college leave his lips. 
“i like how i was the first person you came to with kiki when you have plenty of other friends who live off campus, i like how you’ve never been shy to show you like me ever since we were kids,” he grabbed your hands, and you felt your stomach churn. 
“i like you ____.” he breathed out, searching for any sign of return of feelings. 
you felt like you were going to collapse. your clothes starting to feel like millions of layers of itchy fabric. the collar on your shirt felt tight around your neck. the room began to appear extremely fuzzy, with complete silence, only accompanied by the pounding in your head. 
desperately trying to find words but they failed to come up in your head, and your mouth was muted.
“____? i’m sorry, please say something.” sunghoon worried, feeling you grip his hand tighter. 
“oh my god i thought you were going to tell me that you don’t want to help with kiki anymore because she gonna live with me now.” you let out the breath you were holding.
“why would i do that?” he asked in a confused tone.
“i don’t know it must be annoying having your best friend's little sister come over every day to check on her cat,” you replied. “you probably couldn’t have any girls over.”
“i don’t need any girls over but you,” he relaxed back on the couch.
“you’re so cheesy,” you elbowed him. “i like you too, i think everyone knows.” copying him you sunk into the couch cushion and leaned on his shoulder.
“is jay going to kill you now?” you turned your head towards the black-haired boy next to you.
“you underestimate me,” he said, resting his head on yours. “i asked him three months ago!”
“you’ve liked me for three months now?” eyes threatening to fall out of their sockets.
he grabbed you by your waist and brought you into his lap. resting his forehead on your head and inhaling your strawberry shampoo. 
“well came to terms with it..” he mumbled into your hair.
“i win! I’ve liked you since i was five.”
“i know, but i was in denial since we joked so casually about it.”
kiki hopped up onto the couch, making herself comfortable in your lap. purring as you gazed down on her and stroked her fur. you smiled, finally, your dreams were semi-true. you had a kitten and sunghoon all to yourself. you were starting to feel your eyes burn. 
“kiki you will not be a child of a divorce!” sunghoon told the kitten, bringing his free arm around to pet the small cat.
the thought of you not seeing sunghoon now that you’d be able to take kiki off his hands if he hadn’t confessed made the stinging in your eyes turn into small water droplets. the tiniest tear sliding down your right cheek was enough for you to turn your head away as far as possible to wipe the stray tear.
sunghoon noticed immediately, cupping your face and bringing it towards him.
“ew sorry i’m being dramatic,” you sniffled, avoiding his eyes by putting your hand in front of your eyes.
“no you’re not,” he wiped some stray tears. “but why are you crying?”
“i don’t know! i’m just feeling a little overwhelmed..” 
“i know i have that effect on people,” sunghoon joked, planting a kiss on your cheek, resulting in you taking kiki and jumping off his lap. “where are you going?” 
he watched you take the gray kitten and make a run for it to his room, trying to shut the door on him. standing up simultaneously and chasing after you, blocking you from closing the door with his left arm. 
putting kiki on her bed, you flopped onto sunghoons bed and slipped underneath the duvet. sunghoon follows after you, but not before approaching the cat in the corner of the room, muttering a quick goodnight like he did every night. he never knew he would like having a cat this much, but it being your idea gave some bias.
it wasn’t the first time you’ve slept over at sunghoon’s house, but it was the first time falling asleep in his arms. 
YOU WOKE UP TO THE LOUD VOICES IN THE KITCHEN.
sunghoon had forgotten that jay and jake would be there in the morning the next day, but he wasn’t expecting to hear his doorbell ring at nine. he gently slid his arms out from underneath you and let them in.
“why are you guys here so early” he squinted, rubbing his eyes.
“why were you still asleep? i told you nine,” jay said, walking straight to the kitchen.
“because ____ is still asleep.” sunghoon retorted.
“not anymore,” you yawned from the corridor, walking closer to greet your brother. you gave him a brief hug before moving onto to sleepily bury your face in sunghoon’s chest.
“gross. it's already started,” jake made a face of disgust, laying his head flat on the dining room table.
“hi to you too jake.” you looked up and waving at him.
jay had made the four of you breakfast and gave you both a whole speech about how he would do very bad things if sunghoon were to mess things up with you. also going into depth about things that made jake stuff his mouthful of food and cover his ears. you wished you did the same.
perhaps the nearly sixteen years of pining for your older brother's best friend was worth it.
BUT ONE THING YOU DID KNOW FOR SURE WAD THAT YOU NEEDED TO CALL YOUR MOTHER.
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kiki's first birthday! (extra)
the apartment was decorated, maybe even over-decorated. pink and yellow streamers going from one side of the kitchen to the other. hanging from the ceiling was a string of letters reading ‘happy first birthday kiki’ in pink letters. 
“hoon!” you came in from the front door holding a cake. “you bought candles right?”
“yup!” sunghoon walked over to you from his spot in the kitchen.
he took the cake, giving you a quick peck. you trailed behind him admiring his decoration skills. sunghoon placed the cake on the dining table and opened the lid. inside the white box was a small white cake, piped with pink icing, and writing that matched the banner. 
you took the candles from the kitchen counter and took the cake out. then placed the number one candle on the center back. 
both of you admiring the cake, before being interrupted by a ring on the doorbell.
leaving sunghoon in the kitchen, you opened the door. chaewon greeted you on the other side with a small present wrapped in white paper. she also held a mini headband small enough for kiki to wear. though you weren’t sure if you would even get it on kiki.
“i got the birthday girl something to wear!” the blonde-haired girl grinned, waving around the headband. 
she walked inside and set the present on the coffee table and walked over to kiki resting on the floor. chaewon sat down beside the kitten, pulling out a mask, glasses, and gloves from her bag. she put them on skillfully and quickly.
you and sunghoon shared a glance and let out laughs.
“hey! you can’t blame me for wanting to be safe.” chaewon huffed and crossed her arms. 
following after was another sound from the door. rather than ringing the doorbell jake opted on forcefully banging on the doors like a maniac. causing all three of you to roll your eyes. sunghoon taking one for the team, walked up to the door, and let the three guys outside in. 
“hi guys!” jake smiled, carrying his present for the cat unwrapped. “i couldn’t find a bag sorry..”
jay and heeseung following closely behind, heeseung with a pale blue bag, and jay with nothing.
“why didn’t you bring your niece a gift?” you chided your empty handed older brother.
“i’m bringing her on a shopping spree!” jay picked up the cat, spinning her around. “i’m the best uncle ever!”
“she can’t go out in public,” sunghoon deadpanned.
“i’m bringing you two on a shopping spree!” jay corrected himself, sitting down on the smaller couch.
“why is the girl on the couch suited up like someone is sick..” heeseung whispered to you. 
“that’s chaewon,” you whispered back. “she’s allergic to cats.”
an hour later you found yourselves in the kitchen surrounding the cake and wearing party hats. you holding kiki in your arms while sunghoon held the cake in front of the gray kitten. just as you predicted, kiki put up a fight while you tried to coerce her into wearing the party chaewon bought. resulting in some scratched littered around your arms.
after singing happy birthday you held kiki in front to blow out the candles from behind her. 
sunghoon and you were glad that it was kiki’s birthday. more like the anniversary of the day you had brought her home, but birthday sounded better. the day finally arrived and you were relieved, as you had avoided cutting her nails for a week so she could go crazy when opening her presents. 
she received a mouse toy from chaewon, some oddly expensive cat food from heeseung, and a plushie that eerily resembled gaeul a lot.
once everything was done and everyone was ready to leave, jay shouted that he would send sunghoon’s mom the pictures to show gaeul. 
you were to blame for sunghoon’s one-sided beef with the whole cat population for no particular reason finally coming to an end.
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hxney-lemcn · 8 months ago
Text
True Beauty — Vil Schoenheit x gn! reader
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summary: a simple sleepover had Vil questioning how you made him feel.
tw: none (maybe not the best characterization of Vil's thought process but this is cute so...)
a/n: just a small thought I needed to get out.
wc: 0.5k
Master List
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“He is not pretty,” You said with a judgmental look on your face.
“Are you blind?” Vil asked back, raising one of his perfect eyebrows. “Look at his jawline, the impeccable makeup, the fashion style!”
“He cheated on his partner!” You shot back, nearly causing Vil to mess up his application serum to your skin. His light colored eyes narrowed, silently warning you to stay still.
“That may be, but that has nothing to do with his looks,” Vil countered, carefully picking out an eye cream that would suit you. 
The two of you were having a sleepover…well that's what you were calling it. Vil had simply offered you help with your night routine since ‘your skin looked puffy’ (you hadn’t seen a difference but this was Vil we’re talking about). You managed to convince Vil to put on a show in the background and he had simply pointed out the main antagonist looked attractive, which led to this mini-argument. 
“Wrong,” You stated, making a buzzer noise. “Personality is everything. Yeah I can see what you mean physically, but he ruined his looks with his actions. He’s the ugliest character ever because of what he did.” Vil paused his actions, blinking at you. He genuinely was caught off guard by what you said. His entire life he felt pressured to look perfect, it didn’t matter how a person would act. He had always wanted a starring role, a role that was painted as a hero, yet he was always shot down because he ‘looked’ like a villain. So you stating that you saw the world differently, that you judged others mainly on actions instead of looks, he found himself speechless for once. 
“Yet you’ve fallen for my charms,” Vil tried to rebuttal, ignoring the weird warmth that tried to consume him. You were such a strange person, he still couldn’t wrap his head around you…but he supposes that was your appeal. 
“Yeah,” You shrugged, pulling back as Vil finished putting a really good smelling moisturizer on you. “Because you’re really nice. I mean you literally just used skin care products on me that cost more than my life.” 
Once again you had managed to make his heart stutter and he hated you for it (not really, he’s just being a drama queen). You said it so casually, do you not realize just what that meant to him? He always felt like he had to prove himself, make himself look the most beautiful, work hard for his place, yet you had managed to carelessly toss it to the side with such a simple statement. With a simple belief. You sat across from him as he wore no makeup, his hair messy (it was perfect even if it was casual), and in pajamas (they were the most expensive pajamas you had ever seen), yet your eyes held nothing but adoration. 
“Can I do yours now?” You asked, like you hadn’t just shaken his entire world. Typically he’d deny such a request…but he found his resolve crumbling under your warm smile.
Just what were you doing to him?
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slater-baby · 6 months ago
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Short (and v specific) fic request of how Simon would interact with an afab partner who was raised to be independent and self-sufficient (actively working on a computer science degree) but low key would rather be submissive, brain shut off, no decisions? 🥺
(ik there are already a lot of prompts out there like this but i love your writing style, pls feel free to disregard if this is not interesting/inspiring for you!!)
(can I be 💀✨ anon if there isn’t already one? :3)
Of course you can!! Thank you so so much for this request!! I didn't know if you wanted this to be spicy or not, but I went ahead and expanded on it! I hope you like it <3
Tags: Dom Simon Riley, Smut, Submissive Fem!Reader, she/her pronouns, praise kink
Edit: it just struck me when I was rereading over the ask that it was for afab!partner and didn’t have specified pronouns, but I wrote this with she/her. I’m sorry if u wanted gender neutral pronouns instead! Pls accept my deepest apologies ❤️
-
“That’s it,” you take a deep breath, clasping your hands in front of your chest, “Last paper’s finished.”
From a room over, you hear Simon make a small noise in encouragement. However, you’re so deep in your own mind that you hardly hear it, focusing instead on the sprawling lines of words and figures that lay out in front of you. For the past week, you’d been single-mindedly polishing off the final research paper of your senior year—an accomplishment which, to no small degree, would make or break your applications to grad school.
At the mere thought of it, you fidget in your seat, practically unblinking as you retrace your each and every key stroke. 
Well, you muse darkly, It can’t be the worst paper I’ve ever written, can it?
Dumbly, you bite your lip, and out of the corner of your eye, you spot an errant typo you’d somehow managed to gloss over. Instantly, your hands rush to correct it. 
Fuck, you seethe in your head, It could be the worst paper I’ve ever written. It totally could be.
Defeated, you make a small noise in the back of your throat, burying your head in your hands so that your tired eyes can’t read over another blasted line of your own research. So lost in your own mind, you hardly notice when the door to your bedroom opens and your boyfriend quietly comes to your side.
“Finished it off, did you?” He exhales, “Can I see?”
“Simon,” you grunt, struggling to find your words.
You don’t dare to raise your head in fear that he might see the frustrated tears currently working their way through your system. Well, it might be a little late for that. The tears and exhaustion are more than just painfully evident the next time you open your mouth to speak.
“Just wait another minute, okay?” You tell him, clearing your throat, “I’ll let you look in a minute, I just have to…”
Your wavering vision flits back to the screen, the entirety of your work overwhelming you all at once. Your fingers wring just that much tighter. Simon doesn’t miss the way that your chest expands with another anxious breath, and he looks down at where you sit with a cocked brow.
“Love,” he hums gently, “You alright?”
“What?” You whip your head around to look at him.
“Are you alright?” He asks again, clearer this time, leaning down next to you, “Just…seem a little in your head is all. Sure that paper’s not getting to you?”
On muscle memory alone, you shake your head, trying valiantly to straighten up.
“No, it’s just…” you stutter, mindlessly clicking about the page, “Look, it’s—it’s not all the way finished, I guess. I should do another round of editing. Y’know, just make sure it’s ready for my supervisor to look over…”
You hear Simon shift on his feet next to you, and his scent envelopes you as he leans over the desk to stare at the computer screen. Unconsciously, you scan over his bare face, watching his eyes read over the lines you’d written. Like that, you watch for some sort reaction or tell, something that would either confirm or deny all of your worst fears in their entirety.
“You sure?” He asks you hesitantly, gesturing towards the screen, “Looks pretty polished to me…”
“Well,” you swallow, “It’s—it’s still not ready. So maybe give me another hour or so, and then we can head out for dinner. Okay?”
Simon’s chest expands with an inhale, but he doesn’t move away. Instead, he pins you with a questioning look, body tense with unsaid words.
“Love, are you sure?” He begins softly, “I mean, you’ve been lookin’ over that thing for a bloody week already. Hell, the lads ’n I were on deployment for a good three months, and I swear that paper’s been the only thing on your mind the entire time…You sure that it’s not good to go? I mean, looks quality to me, love. You’ve done a bang up job.”
His eyes drift over the page, and although he’s listened to you explain the topic several times over, he swears his army brain is hardly sharp enough to decipher a single line of what you’ve written on the page.
“But…” he smirks, rubbing your back, “Then again, I’m not one of them lads in the fancy white coats. Can’t understand a bloody word of this shite.”
You might have been offended at that last word if you hadn’t been dating him long enough to know his tells. Getting Simon Riley to admit you had a bigger brain than he did? High praise in the most extravagant order. It was about the most sincere compliment he’d give any one of his closest friends. Hell, when you’d first met, he was so stoic that his compliments seemed more like commands than anything else. Idly, your mind drifts back to how he’d asked you on your first date.
“You don’t got a ride home from class, do you? Said your car was in the shop?”
“Yeah, it’s no big deal, I just—”
“Good. We’re going to dinner. At seven. Wear a something nice, yeah?”
“But, Simon, what—”
“Don’t be late.”
Yeah, it was safe to say you never let him live that interaction down. Not for as long as you lived. A year later, Simon was much smoother than you initially gave him credit for, but just because he home from deployment didn’t mean he’d gotten out of his bad habits. That was the officer in him, you suppose. 
“Just another hour, Simon,” your hands fly back to the keyboard, mind racing, “I—I promise I’ll submit it then, just give me a little…”
Simon watches as your eyes focus singularly on the words on the page, practically unblinking. The minute your fingertips hit the keys, you’re lost in your own task, oblivious to his presence. He bites his cheek with a small exhale, patting you on the back before walking out of the room. He lingers in the doorway, sparing a glance back at you.
You’ve been sitting in that chair for hours, fidgeting in your seat from how sore your back had become, and the bags under your eyes are nothing short of telling. He can see the redness in your eyes, the way your hands shake every time you lift them from the keyboard. You’ve been working yourself ragged, and if this essay wasn’t the final hurdle between you and your shiny degree, Simon would have ripped your body away from the computer before it destroyed you.
And yet…he bites his lip, clenching his hands instead of taking charge. It was the last assignment. He shouldn’t rush you.
But as he walks back to the living room, he finds himself simmering with a quiet frustration, eyes focused anywhere but on the TV as he presses play once again. 
You shouldn’t be working like this, he laments in his mind, You needed a break.
Simon had gotten back from deployment late last night, and when he’d walked through the door, you’d still been sitting at that blasted computer, hair frazzled from yanking at it in frustration. You’d jumped up excitedly to greet him, and yet, he could knew that look in your eyes. The exhaustion. The fear. The anxiety. The swollen skin on your face and the tired look in your pupils, the one that only came around when you’d been holding back tears, running yourself ragged.
He’d watched you work on that paper for hours—from dusk to dawn practically. And one thing had become exceedingly clear: that little head of yours was going to go crazy if you didn’t take care of yourself soon. 
Simon himself was far from okay with it. Sharing a bed with you at night—one of the few comforts he allowed himself—had even fallen victim to it. Last night alone, you woke up several times in a shock, jolting him awake behind you. You didn’t have to tell him what you were dreaming about. He already knew.
School, he groans in his head, That fuckin’ school would kill you in due time.
Don’t misunderstand him. Simon was happy that you were pursuing your dreams in such a feverish manner—ecstatic, even. Simon had been a jarhead his entire life, resigned to the camouflage the moment they handed him his high school diploma. To see someone like you working your hardest, chasing your dreams to the fullest of your abilities, it filled him with a blazing pride. And the fact that he got to stand by your side throughout the journey was a privilege he didn’t take lightly. By all means, you knew what you wanted, and you had no problem taking it.
But…
He glances towards your room, listening to the furious keyboard clacks beyond the entryway.
Your needs weren’t always at the forefront of your mind. The truth of the matter was that, sometimes, the guiding hand was more like an olive branch than a short leash, and there was no one better than Simon to understand that. Hell, since the beginning, he’d seen the truth of you: a girl who was headstrong and hard-working, but that needed something more than medals and accolades. A girl who smiled in the pictures, but crumbled under her responsibilities when she got home at night. A girl who needed someone to pick her up and put her pieces back together, no matter how many times she fell apart.
A girl who needed someone to take care of her, she just didn't know it yet.
And god, if this entire assignment wasn’t just yanking at his heart strings. 
It’s only been a year, he reminds himself, A year broken up by multiple deployments, too.
Simon knew what you needed, knew what you craved, even when you couldn’t admit it to yourself. It started as a slow trickle: pulling you into bed when it got late at night, picking up the slack in the chores, keeping your fridge stocked…y’know, the usual things any boyfriend should do. The bare minimum, really. 
And yet, even if the two of you had only just begun to explore each other, he finds himself yearning to do more—to take you in his hand, and pull you into his body time and time again. At least, until you understood how much you were worth, even when you felt like you were broken and bleeding, exhausted and beat.
The past few months had been a slippery slope. And just like anything else, a drop could quickly become a flood. 
It started off simple. Something so innocuous he hadn’t even realized when it began.
-
The two of you had been at a restaurant. Him, scarfing down steak like it was going out of fashion, and you, picking away at your bowl of pasta with a lost look in your eye. But then, your phone had trilled with that familiar notification: your Canvas app. And immediately, you’d dropped your fork, food all but forgotten.
Irked by your constant assignments, Simon’s temper had been short. And perhaps that’s why he’d said what he’d said. Perhaps that’s why he’d done what he’d done.
“Love,” he’d snapped, teeth grit, “Put your phone down.”
“But—But Simon, my professor—” you’d begun to explain, eyes filled with worry.
“Don’t care about your professor,” he’d grunted, pulling the phone out of your hand and shoving your fork into your fingers instead, “Care about you. Now, finish your food, love.”
“But, my homework—”
”I won’t say it again, love,” he’d pressed, voice firm, “Finish. Your food. Now.”
For a minute, you’d sat there in shock, watching as he pushed your phone into his pocket and continued eating as though nothing had happened. And yet, although you felt embarrassment in your veins, something else began to curl in your stomach—something eerily familiar, but shockingly new all the same.
Arousal.
Hot and burning arousal had hit you like a bucket of ice cold water right then and there, just at that simple command alone. It had felt so wrong, like something taboo, something meant to be hidden. You were a grown woman who could damn well carry herself. You didn’t need his guidance, and yet...
Somehow, you did.
Somehow, you needed it.
Somehow, you craved it.
When he spoke to you like that, like he’d take you over his knee if you didn’t listen to him…The thought of it had sparks igniting in your blood. However, overwhelmed with the sudden rush, you’d only continued eating, unable to meet his gaze when you shoveled another bite into your mouth. Simon had watched like a hawk the entire time, pushing your glass of water closer to you when you reached for it.
“There you go,” he’d commented as you’d taken a sip, “Good girl.”
-
And after that, those small moments somehow became something…more.
They came when you were slaving over your desk, lost in piles of research papers.
-
“C’mon,” he shocked you out of your reverie, hooking a strong arm under your armpit, “We’re going for a walk. Let’s go.”
“Wait—Simon, I only have one more page, just hold on—”
“That page’ll still be there when we get back, love,” he’d reprimanded, all but picking you up and setting you on your feet, “The sun won’t be. Now, go get changed.”
“But, Simon,” you’d whined, digging your heels into the carpet to stop him from moving you. HIs hand had only clenched tighter around your bicep, however, and he’d pinned you with a stern look.
“Do I have to say it again, love?” He’d warned, that now-familiar tone in his voice, the one he only used within the walls of your small apartment, soft with something that was all too familiar to how he spoke to you between the sheets.
“But, I…” you’d huffed, hypnotized by the fire in his eyes. It’s then that you found your body going limp in his hold, submitting to the squeezing pain of his palm around your arm. He’d watched intently, lips clenched with something he couldn’t name, as he surveyed the way you shrank under his gaze, the tension fleeing your body.
“No,” you’d whimpered, computer all but forgotten.
“Good,” he’d stepped closer, eyes flitting to your lips, “Now, go change. Something warm, yeah? S’cold outside.”
“Okay,” you’d answered meekly, jumping at the chance to escape the rapidly climbing temperature in the room. And when he’d patted you lightly on your bottom as you stepped out of the room, you’d be lying if you said your brain was still focused on your assignments.
“Good girl.”
-
Those two words echoed in your mind like a specter, following you throughout your home every time you stepped across the threshold. 
They buzzed under your skin when you listened to his words, when you did what he said.
They overshadowed your frustration, your exhaustion, your relentlessness.
Even when your professors showered you with praise, elevating you with their lofty words and recommendations, no single sentence amounted to the flood of dopamine that filled you when you heard Simon mutter those two, simple words.
Good girl.
-
Soon enough, those words were what you lived for, what you breathed for. And the way your body reacted to them—the way your mind clung to them, when diplomas and medals couldn’t satisfy you any longer—only made Simon all the more interested. 
Soon, it was so common you needn’t question it anymore.
-
When you achieved a high score on your first final exam, he’d been the one to greet you at the door.
“Great job, love,” he’d chuckled, pressing kisses against your neck while your arms squeezed his shoulders, “M’so proud of you.”
“Really?” You’d pulled back, looking up at him with tired shining eyes, “You mean it?”
“‘Course, love,” he’d brushed the hairs away from your forehead, expression softening, “Think this deserves a little celebration, yeah? How ‘bout dinner tonight? We’ll go to that place you like. The fancy one. Full courses ’n all.”
Immediately, you’d shaken your head, smile falling, “But, Simon, isn’t that a bit expensive? Wouldn’t it be better if we—”
“It’s not too expensive,” he’d rebuked, hands drifting lower over your waist, “Not for you. Not tonight. I mean…”
He’d pulled in a low breath, looking at you in your entirety. Entranced, you’d watched the way his expression melts, watch the way his dark eyes become even darker, even hungrier. And when his hands clench around your hips, dangerously low around your body, you hardly question it.
“You’ve been such a good girl, haven’t you?” He’d whispered, leaning in so that you can feel the length of his body, “Deserve a little reward, don’t you?”
And like that, you’d become lost in his voice once again, lost in the way that he looks at you, like all of your hopes, dreams, wants, and needs would be fulfilled with nothing more than a single look into his eyes.
“Yeah,” you’d muttered mindlessly, heat blazing under your skin, “I do.”
-
But those two words weren’t reserved for the high times only. No. Even when you were down in the dumps, when you thought you didn’t deserve it, Simon said it then, too. 
-
“But, Simon, I just—” you’d sobbed, struggling to gather your words. 
You’d been on edge all night, brain reeling with the sheer number of tasks you had to complete. And when you’d come home to see Simon packing his bags, preparing to leave on deployment the next morning, you’d finally crumbled. He’d raced to your side, bags all but forgotten.
In that moment, everything had fallen away. The tasks, the assignments, the hopes, the dreams—they all washed away. And for a single blessed moment, you were just you, and he was just him. You’d fallen into his arms just beyond the threshold, the tears finally falling. And without speaking a single word, he came to your rescue.
He’d guided you with hands on your shoulders, pushing you down onto the couch. He’d come to his knees in front of you, wiping away each and every tear with his thumb.
“Tell me what’s wrong, love,” he’d ordered, softly, “What’s happened? What do you need?”
“Simon, I—I…” you’d sniffled, kneeling over to bury your face in the crook of this shoulder and neck. 
But instead of freezing up, he’d only cradled the back of your neck, letting his shirt soak up your tears. Without a word, he’d circled his arms around your waist, pulling you into his lap. And you went willingly, body wracking with sobs while he stroked over your thighs and waist, letting you emotions dissolve under the weight of his scent and presence.
“S’okay, love, I’ve got you now,” he’d whispered, “I’ll make it better. Tell me what’s wrong, ’n I’ll make it right.”
Your voice had been muffled against the fabric of his shirt. And although you felt small and embarrassed, a crying puddle in his arms, your body was too exhausted to do anything more than cling to his frame as though he’d disappear if you let him go.
“You promise?” You’d managed, voice hitching.
“Promise,” he’d answered without hesitation, “Let me see you, love. C’mere.”
When his hand hooked under your chin, lifting your face into the light, you’re useless to fight against him. Tried and empty, you let him look upon you, let him cradle your jaw in this hand and take you in his hand—at his mercy.
“What is it, baby?” He’d asked, meeting your eye, “Hard day at work?”
Your voice was so choked with tears you couldn’t open your mouth. No, you’d nodded, furiously wiping tears away from your eyes. However, before you can lift your hand, he’d grabbed both of your wrists, effortlessly pinning them between your body. You don’t struggle against him. Not like you could, anyway.
“Yeah?” He’d cooed, cupping your cheek to swipe another tear away, “Little stressed, are you?”
“Yeah,” you’d sobbed, “There’s just—just so much to do—”
“What else, baby? Anythin’ else that hurts, right now?”
“No, it’s just—” you’d rocked on top of his thighs, melting down in his arms.
Your tense, fidgeting hands go limp where he holds your wrists together, body stilling as you look down at his calm face. When you were like this—a broken mess—Simon somehow managed to be the eye of the storm, just as clear and calm as he always was. That’s what made him such a good solider, you’d imagined.
“Just…” your breath hitched, and you took a deep breath, “Just—don’t wanna think anymore…”
“That it?” He’d leaned in then, so close you could smell the cologne on his skin, “Got too much in that pretty little head?”
Distraught, your mind doesn’t register the small quip. But something in your body—something in your core—yearned to be closer to him, to press yourself into him, until you couldn’t decipher where he ended and you began. And before you could question it, you’d collapsed against his chest, wrists pinned against your breasts.
“Yes,” you’d sobbed miserably.
And in that moment, unconsciously, you’d given yourself over to him completely, the world boiling down to nothing more than his strong arms and sweet voice. 
“Love,” he’d let go of your wrists, and yet, you hadn’t moved them an inch, “Look at me.”
Before you could even do it, Simon hooked his finger beneath your chin, raising your teary face to look him in the eye. Even with your raw, reddened vision, he sees you there, and meets you word for word.
“There she is,” he’d carefully swiped at your eyes, “Take a deep breath for me, love.”
Mindlessly, you’d done as he said, a simmering familiarity bleeding into your veins at the unspoken dominance. 
“Good,” he’d pulled you closer, never once letting his eyes drop, “Now, you’re gonna sit there and listen to me for a minute, yeah?”
Without an ounce of hesitation, you’d snapped your mouth shut, hands shaking against his chest.
“You’re not gonna think anymore. Not tonight. Not with me,” he commands lowly, “I’ve got you now, and you don’t have to worry about a thing. ‘Cause I’ll take care of it. All of it. And if you so much as mention that blasted assignment again, so help me god, I’ll have you over my knee before you can so much as tell me to stop. That clear?”
Usually, the firm set of his voice and the rigidity of the order would have irked you. But in that moment, vulnerable and wet with tears, it feels more like bandaid than a ball and chain. 
“Answer me.”
“Mm-hmm,” you’d hummed, chest rapidly expanding against his own.
“Good,” he’d inhaled, “Now…”
He’d reached for your wrists again, and limply, you let him situate your arms around his neck. 
“Hold me like this,” he’d told you, cradling your waistline, “And you’re gonna sit with me awhile, okay? Until you feel a bit better, love.”
“Simon,” you’d melted into his arms, letting him hold you like the fragile thing you’d always known you were. And he’d accepted you, even when you were a teary mess, unable to even breathe for yourself.
“Shush. No talking,” he’d guided you, “Just let me take care of you. Just for tonight.”
And yet, when you’d felt his stubble against your wet cheek, honeyed words drifting into your ear, you somehow find yourself mourning the time. That this would only last a night. That in the morning, you’d have to find your footing again, all by yourself.
But like that, with Simon’s beating heart against your own and his voice in your head, it felt like the moment could continue on forever, whether he was halfway across the world or sitting right next to you. And at the idea of it—at the prospect that his memory will linger long after he’s gone—you’d found yourself in awe of all that he was…of all that he made you feel.
“Simon,” you’d asked, wholly undone, “Can you…”
“Can I what?”
“Can you…” you’d sniffled, pulling away to face him, “Will you kiss me?”
His expression hadn’t moved an inch, just as calm, careful, and collected as it was before. And in that moment, you truly hadn’t known what you’d felt. Only that you’d needed him in his entirety, just as he had you now.
“Take what’s yours, love,” he’d whispered, straightening his neck just to graze his lips over yours.
And without even dwelling on how scrambled you’d felt, you’d reached for his face with a fervor, pulling you into him with every ounce of the warring desperation you felt inside. The instant his lips met yours, sharp stubble scrapping over your raw skin, the incessant noise halts all at once. 
And before long, the tears have dried up. Your mind is blank, all but empty. Your fingers claw at him with a hunger you’d never experienced before, with a need you didn’t even knew you had.
A need he’d let simmer for much too long. One that only he could sate. One that could only be cured with his touch, his lips, and his tongue. And when his hands curve over your waistline, groping at your ass to pull you up against the quickly forming bulge at the front of his jeans, you’re nothing short of distraught when he presses between your legs.
Helplessly, you cling to him, kissing him as if he was the air you needed to breathe. And as the seconds pass, so does the stress. It bleeds out of you like plasma, staining the air with each gasping breath you take.
“Simon,” you inhale, pulling back. Strings of saliva hang between his lips and yours, and just like your eyes, you find your tongue swollen. Without a doubt, you looked just as bad as you felt, and yet, something inside of you had taken control.
That feeling deep in your stomach, the pulsing between your legs. He can feel you there, your heartbeat right up against your covered pussy, pulsing against the fly of his jeans. Artlessly, your hips move against his own, and despite the nagging need in his mind to quell all the stormy thoughts that race inside that little head, he can’t help but marvel at how he’d got you.
Out of control.
Mindless.
Grasping at his shirt like it was your last tether to this earth, focused on nothing but the wetness between your thighs, and the promise of what would make it better.
Him.
His cock.
His lips.
His love. 
His praise, care, and commands.
So when you rock forward once again, clit brushing against the button on his jeans, you’re helpless to do anything more than drown in pure, utter submission when he pulls you off of his lap and bends you over the arm of the couch.
“Fuck, love,” he grunts, hands clenching around your hips while he grinds against the cleft of your ass.
“Simon,” you practically sob, desperately trying to rock your ass back against him, if only to make the aching between your legs feel even the slightest bit better.
“No,” he gropes at your asscheek, pulling your pants over your thighs to expose your soaked panties and throbbing cunt, “No more whining, baby.”
He leans back, and you swear you feel your body falling apart when he pulls away. However, before you can moan at the loss, you feel his fingers ghost over your pussy, pressing into the dribbles of slick that leak through the threads of the fabric.
“Feel me here, love,” he breathes, watching your ass rock back against his hand when he thumbs over your clit, “This where it hurts? Huh?”
Your body collapses against the cousins of the sofa with a sharp whine, and unbidden, tears begin to slide down your cheeks at the feeling.
God, it just feels so good. So good to let go. To let him make all the decisions. To let him play with you like you were a doll, a toy who couldn’t make her own choices or speak for herself. A girl ho didn’t even know that she had needs only a man like him could fix.
“Tell me. Now.” He commands, delivering a sharp slap over your ass. 
“Yes,” you blurt out.
“Yes what?”
“It hurts—hurts there…”
“Mm,” he hums, and you hear the fabric of his jeans move when he reaches for his belt, “Figures. Haven’t been taking care of yourself, have you?”
“Simon, p-please,” you plead helplessly, and when the bare skin of his cock meets the fabric of your panties, you can’t hide the flood of tears that pools on the leather seat underneath your cheek.
“Shh, baby,” he leans over you, strong chest like an impenetrable wall against your back, “Don’t cry. I’ve got you now. I know what you need.”
“Please,” you whine, reaching back to grapple uselessly at his hips—like that would make him hurry up. And yet, he only swats your hands away, effortlessly pinning them against the leather with nothing more than a single move. With his offhand, he pulls the panties to the side, looking down at your leaking, swollen pussy. It’s so pent up you’ve already got slick on the inside of your thighs.
Needy girl.
“Fuck, baby, look at that. God, you’re fucking soaked,” he parts your sensitive folds with a single fingertip, looking at where dribbles of slick coat his pointer finger and thumb. You’re so wet that even his longer, thicker finger slides into you without resistance, eliciting a squeaking moan from your tired vocal cords.
“Tell me, baby,” he thrusts gently, watching at your nerves tense and relax with every move, “When’s the last time you touched yourself?”
At the question, you can’t even find it in yourself to be embarrassed. You don’t even question it, why your boyfriend might need to know that, like it weren’t a deeply personal question. And yet, when he says it like that—like he’d make it all better with a single touch—your mind doesn’t even think to question it when you relent your autonomy to him with nothing more than a single sentence.
“I…” you mewl, pushing your pussy back onto his fingers like a cat in heat, barely able to find your words through the force of the delicious fullness between your legs, “The—the last time you touched me…”
“Fuck,” he grunts, smacking your ass once more. It’s harder this time, hard enough to leave a red handprint against your ass. And yet, even if you flinch, you don’t let his fingers fall out of you just yet. No, if anything, you only rock against them harder, lost in the waves of tears and pleasure that fill you from the inside out.
“No wonder you’re so goddamn needy,” he rubs against that spongy spot inside of you, watching as strings of slick fall from your pussy onto the couch cushions below, “Haven’t been fucked in a week. Don’t even know how to take care of yourself. God, baby…Will you even be able to make it through deployment without me, love?”
“Si—Simon, I—I can’t do this without you,” you sob, arms hanging limply over the arm of the couch.
“I know, baby,” he gently pulls his fingers away, flattening his stomach against your back before you can even think to whine out in protest. Like that, he circles your stomach with one arm, lifting his shining fingers to your lips. All it takes is a single brush of his slick thumb against your lower lip to get you to open up and let him push them into your mouth, quieting your thoughts with a single word.
“Suck.”
Thoughtlessly, you suckle on his fingers, the taste of your slick on your own tongue. Tears stain his hand with every move, but the way he holds you, the way he grinds his bare cock against your wet folds, clears your head all at once. 
“Need to do something about that,” he laments, swiveling his hips just enough to notch the tip of his cock up against your hole, “Might have to buy you something over deployment. Something that’ll fill up this needy cunt while I’m gone. Yeah? That what you need, baby? Need something to fuck yourself stupid with while I’m gone?”
Moaning around his fingers, you nod your head yes, desperately grinding down against the tip of his prick. And when he pushes just the slightest bit forward, nothing more than a single inch of his dick filling you up, you can’t help the way you sob against the arm of the couch. 
“Tell me, baby,” he whispers, slowly sliding into you, “Is this what you need? Need my cock?”
He pulls his fingers out of you, harshly grabbing you around the jaw to make you face him. His fingers are wet with spit and slick, and the hunger in his eyes is so ravenous it nearly devours you then and there. But all the voices—all the protests, tears, and worries—are muffled under the weight of his body and touch. And before you can mourn the independent woman you swear you were, you find yourself desperately arching your back underneath him, sinking down onto his cock so fast it pulls the air out of his lungs altogether.
“Need you, Simon,” you cry, beginning to fuck yourself on his cock when he won’t do it himself.
However, at your little fit of helplessness, he stills you with a hard grip around your hips, pushing into you once again to keep you in place.
“Shh, baby, I know,” he coos, slowly fucking into your cunt, “I’ll give you what you need. Don’t gotta think anymore. Just need to let it happen. Need to let me have you.”
-
Images of that night run circles around his mind, and before he can even register the passing time, thirty minutes had passed into the TV show he’d halfheartedly put on. Your echoing voice ringing in his ears, he shocks back to reality, and dumbly, he lets his hand fall to the couch, TV remote all but forgotten.
His ears are wholly attuned to the sound of your typing, and with every keystroke, his anger only climbs higher and higher—until sitting on the couch, ignoring the way you’re hurting yourself, turns into a burning, fiery rage.
With a grunt, he stands, storming over to your open door. Determined, he pushes open the door, coming to stand behind you in your office chair. You’re so focused on the paper you hardly notice him. 
That is, until his larger hand covers yours, stopping you halfway to the mouse. Surprised, you glance behind you, pointlessly trying to fight against him.
“Simon,” you say, gasping when he pulls the chair away from the desk, “What are you—”
“Turn the computer off, love. It’s done.”
“But—but the final page—”
“Is perfect,” he grunts, hauling you to your feet, “Now, c’mon. You need a break.”
“But this is the last assignment!” You cry, shoving against him to try and get back to the computer, “If it’s not perfect, then I won’t graduate—”
“Love,” he yanks you back by the wrist, grabbing you around the jaw, “Look at me.”
Frazzled, you go limp in his hold, blinking up at him confusedly.
“You are the smartest person I know,” he explains tersely, “And one day, you’ll have some big, important job, and you’ll be sitting on piles of cash. And trust me when I say that I would love for nothing more than to sit at home and be your house husband. But,” he growls, yanking your hand down to press into the growing bulge at the front of his jeans. Your eyes widen when you feel how hard he is, “I’ve waited three months to have you. Three. Fucking. Months. And I know for a fact you haven’t been using that little toy I bought you.”
“Simon,” you flush, unable to meet his eye, “I—I have been using it, I’ve just been busy—”
“Love,” he warns, cocking his head, “Look me in the eye and say that again.”
You swallow, barely managing to lift your gaze. However, when you open your mouth to speak, no words come out. And just like that, he’s got you.
He grinds his jaw, rolling his eyes, “Fucking knew it.”
Before you can even register what’s happening, he’s ducking down. Without warning, he lifts you up, hoisting you over his shoulder with barely more than a single arm. You gasp when you’re lifted off your feet, scrabbling uselessly at his back when he begins to walk towards your bedroom.
“But—” you whine, watching the floorboards slowly transition to carpet down the hallway, “I—I have been using it, I swear! I took it out of the packaging and everything—”
Your words grind to a halt when he slaps you on the ass, hard enough for the sound to ring in your eyes. His fingers dig into the fat of your thighs, and helplessly, you dangle over his shoulder.
“Lie to me again,” he grunts, groping at your ass cheek to prepare you for another spank, “And I’ll just hit you harder.”
At that, you have nothing more to say than a singular whine, one that sounds so out of character against the stark Times New Roman of that blasted essay.
“Now,” Simon says, pushing open the door of your bed room, “You gonna be a good girl? Gonna shut up and let me fuck you? Gonna let me take care of you?”
For a split second, your eyes stare down the hallway at where the blue light of your laptop illuminates the office walls. And a part of you screams to push at him until he lets you go, until he lets you run back to all your responsibilities and work.
And yet, the longer you stare down that buzzing, blue cloud, the more you come to understand the simple truth of who Simon is: if you fought back, he’d only spank you harder, fuck you faster, and nag at you longer.
After all, that’s the only way he could get you to take care of yourself, diploma be damned. 
“Yes,” you relent with a mewl, going limp in his arms. And as he kicks the bedroom door closed behind him, the feeling of your head going empty is punctuated only by two, simple words. 
“Good girl.”
-
Notes: thank you so much for the request!! AO3 version will be posted soon with notes!! ❤️
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smokesandsonatas · 3 months ago
Note
Broke mc and the rich night raven college bois! Would they spoil the mc or would they let mc struggle, delighted in doing so 👀
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+++ After a long time, I'm finally starting to answer requests. I tend to combine similar asks, I hope people don't mind.
OnlyCams (Twst version of OnlyFans) Reader x All NRC students and Rollo. Reader is implied to be female. Mentions of cleavage, lingerie, and implied sugar daddy stuff. Slightly NSFW. +++
Update: Part II
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Your current financial situation, compounded by the need to eat proper meals, pushed you to find a side job. Crowley had cut your budget by more than half, citing Grim's damages—an accusation your companion vehemently denies—as the reason you're struggling to eat properly. It has reached the point where you only eat once a day to quickly pay off Grim's fees to the school. Your pride is too great to ask for help, and besides, you don’t consider them ‘close friends’—acquaintances from another world might be a more accurate term. You’re not particularly close to any of the boys, or rather, your schoolmates. They are just that: schoolmates.
You tried applying at Mostro Lounge but left quickly after your gut told you to. In a foreign world where monsters, beasts, mermen, and magic are the norm, your instincts are your only trusted guide.
The rules of this world shouldn’t and wouldn’t apply to you the same way, right? Whatever society imposes on them is not applicable to you. In your world, this type of job is common, though frowned upon, but it pays well.
You refuse to eat cobwebs from the dusty ceiling of the ramshackle dorm.
In your mind, you plead for privacy as you smile at the ghosts, asking them not to bother you while you rest—just as Grim has been doing for the past two hours. Fortunately, the ghosts heed your request.
You let out a soft hum as you change into a flimsy outfit: a cute two-piece lingerie with bows in the middle, and bat earrings from one of your highest-tier subscribers. While you only show skin rather than specific body parts, your effort in producing high-quality content led to you being featured as one of the emerging models more than two weeks ago. Now, you are close to paying off Grim's full debt, and you have saved enough to afford full meals twice a day with snacks in between. As a result, Grim is much more obedient, promising to be careful as long as you continue to feed him, of course.
You have a keen eye for beauty, after all.
You count silently as you pose for the camera—an alluring sight, sensual in your pose, a work of art in every sense.
3...2...1
Snap!
+++++
He first heard the rumors from the members of the Heartslabyul dorm. As the dorm leader, Riddle is keen to know what currently preoccupies the thoughts of his card soldiers. That’s how Riddle found you—by threatening to cut off the head of one of the freshmen, who nearly pissed himself as Riddle stood seething. That incident occurred a week ago. Riddle is never one to indulge in such perverse photos, despite what his highest-tier subscription might suggest. No, he is a gentleman after all. His favorite photo is the one where you’re wearing a red silk robe that clings to your figure, with a book pressed between your two mounds. He may or may not have specifically requested that photo, and he paid you generously for your work.
Of course, he knows you have one! Cater is the self-proclaimed king of Magicam and social media, after all. The OnlyCams platform is an emerging phenomenon that has taken Magicam by storm. You just happened to get on it at the right time, and Cater couldn’t help but respect the hustle. You’re now an emerging content creator, and his favorite photos of you are saved on his phone—essentially everything. Oh, what’s that? He can’t do it because it’s prohibited? Of course, Cater can! He has been your faithful subscriber from day one.
Oh sevens, when Trey saw your sweet bakery-themed photos he will not deny that he relieved himself more than once. You keep on releasing new mouth-salivating content every other day but that still stands as his favourite. He especially loved the one where you put whipped cream to cover your nipples. What? Trey is a man and therefore susceptible to temptation.
He will never tell you that he knows, but he has been there since your first post. Ace had been a loyal supporter even from the start, he even took it upon himself to try a few gigs to support you, you know? That's what friends do right? Just don't blame Ace when he uses your pictures to masturbate as he takes his baths.
Deuce cannot believe it, but he cannot take his eyes off it either. Deuce also knows but respects you enough to not bring it up. Why didn't you told him you have perfect thighs? He is pouty but as he works his hands below his pants he cannot help but bite his lower lip. This is the third time he masturbated on your picture. His favorite? A picture of you laying down as you wink cheekily in a 'Japanese' uniform, the short skirt hiked over your thighs. The caption says it reminds you of your place back home, Deuce briefly wonders if you would let him visit to see that uniform personally on you.
....
Leona doesn't give a fuck, his thick cock out as he works his hands up and down his shaft lazily in his bedroom. You've been a very cheeky herbivore. Ha! Leona didn't realize how much of an ass beastman he is not until he raised an eyebrow as he smirked when he realized all his favorites are the ones where it focuses on your ass. He likes it when you squeeze them. Leona wonders if he should send you a message for a special offer, the price won't matter to him. What? Breeding season will come soon for the beastman, he will have no other partner than you.
He admires your skills to hustle, Ruggie could not help but sneakily have his account opened through Leona's bank, it's not like the rich prince will notice it billing him anyway. Once he opens your highest-tier content, Ruggie now understands why. You're a complete pro at this! He is not sure if this is your previous job in your world or if this is your first time doing it at all, but those thoughts have escaped him when he fucks himself into his hand in the picture of you spreading your ass cheeks.
Jack had heard about the site from the other track team members, out of curiosity, he opened an account and was surprised when he got your account in his recommendation. He will support you of course! That's what friends do! He will try to contain himself when he unlocks your content of you wearing skimpy track shorts but it's impossible as he felt himself tightening through his pajamas.
...
Azul had never heard of this website before, but dear sevens! The possibilities are endless. Pleasure work is not unheard of in the Coral Sea, but he now knows they do it differently on land. It's called porn, as far as he remembers when he picked up the word from one of the guidebooks in the Sage Island. When he realizes at first glance that you will be one of its top creators—the money will come pouring right in! Azul chuckles to himself, restraining his excitement as he bites his lower lip while staring at your latest update. The thought of being your manager crosses his mind as he gazes at your picture of spreading your legs open, the flimsy thong left so little to the imagination. Will you let him manage you? Will you allow him to experience what he sees? Perhaps you’ll seek out a partner for a collaboration, and Azul will be eager to present himself. Of course, he will refrain from showing his face—he still has a reputation to uphold—but he cannot deny that you are his guilty pleasure in this realm.
Floyd is addicted to your content! How dare Shrimpy make him so excited every day? For almost two weeks now, Floyd has been happily completing tasks assigned to him at the Mostro Lounge. Sure, he pockets some tips for himself, but fear not! Floyd thinks he deserves it. Besides, they ought to reward him for his extra hard work. Floyd giggles when he sees a notification that you've posted a new update. One of these days, he will come to see you personally—only if Jade isn’t holding him back. After all, if left unchecked, Floyd just might take you deep into the coral sea.
Jade, on the other hand, is constantly watching you—or so you thought. At lunch, in the hallway, even in the library when you’re trying to study with Grim. You can feel his eyes piercing through your soul, but for some reason, you can never quite meet his gaze. Or maybe, you’re trying to catch him staring at you just to justify your suspicions, but when you look, he’s not. Unbeknownst to you, Jade is just as giddy as his twin brother. Don’t blame him! He adores the picture where you’re actually wearing the seashell necklace he sent through your fanmail. Oh, but wait—one moment it dawns on him that others, who pay to see your pictures, will also see that picture. Hmm… that doesn’t sit right with the eel. Jade wonders if he can offer you something more. Of course, he can! The only problem is... will you accept Jade Leech's offer? Hmm…
...
Jamil heard from Kalim that you have a business they need to support, Jamil didn't even complain when all Kalim sent was a link. He was hooked since then. He is a silent supporter but will be one of the first to view and like your posts. You wore red lingerie once, and Jamil can't even stop himself from coming from that. A good stress reliever after a tiring day's work. The veins in his hands practically popping, as he grip his cock, imagining you in front of him instead.
Kalim will support you of course! Although he is quite confused why you won't accept the money he's sending you. It's just a half a million madol. It's not a dowry!... At least not close to the actual amount he will give you anyway. He will support you! He even told Jamil about you! Doesn't he get jealous? A little.. but the feeling of an overwhelming bragging right that other people thirst over you makes Kalim so proud. He chose a good future wife after all!
...
To Vil, your content is vile... but undeniably a work of art. Hmph, no wonder you're one of its top creators. You don't merely post for lust; you post for aesthetics as well. You have a keen eye for taking good photos, that much he will admit. His subscription to you he considers a form of appreciation for beauty. He notes the way you do your makeup, the arch of your back, the way your lipstick complements your complexion... Fine, Vil will hate to admit it, but your content is something he looks forward to seeing as he relaxes after a hectic day—just him alone in a fancy room with a spa-like scent filling the air. Hmmm, he wonders if he should invite you someday to a hotel soirée with him. Vil appreciates the attention to detail in your work, and he finds himself compelled to support you further. Occasionally, he sends additional tips usually a thousand madol—small tokens of his admiration for your craftsmanship. He justifies it as an investment in art, a reward for the way you meticulously craft each image and video. After all, beauty like yours deserves to be recognized, encouraged even.
He will always blush when he's near you! Epel can't help it. He may or may not have teenage fantasies about you with him carrying you bridal style as his muscles bulge from his shirt. Although Epel came from a... Traditional family perse, he does appreciate how... sexy you look! His favorite is when you're wearing silk nightwear that delves low on your cleavage.
Ah, Rook. Forever the hunter of beauty. When he heard of your content, he immediately subscribed to the highest tier! He is now only waiting for you to accept personal requests because Rook definitely has a lot of ideas in his mind. It involves you and him, in a forest, being one with yourselves and with nature! Oui! He chuckles as he palms his crotch through his pants. Rook knows that you will post something new in a few minutes, and he is right! Oh, mi amor, Rook swooned as he saw your bat earrings from the new update and the matching pink bows lingerie. The lingerie he ordered is yet to be sent to you! But they're on their way. Will you be mad at Rook if he sends an arrow with a declaration of admiration through your window right after he pleasures himself? Rook hopes you will know how much the hunter loves and appreciates your beauty!
....
Idia may or may not be one of the software developers behind OnlyCams. He was absolutely stunned when he saw that you joined the site! His hair burned a hot red with pink tips as he scrolled through your draft photos. It gives him a twisted sense of satisfaction to know about posts that others haven’t seen yet. Is it illegal to pry... or, erm, stalk the OnlyCams models? Of course, he knows that. But Idia has convinced himself that he should act as your moderator anyway—even without you knowing. Unfortunately, there are a lot of comments and private messages that are downright disgusting to read, so Idia takes it upon himself to remove them for you! The maid outfit and cat ears he sent through your fanmail should arrive in just a few days. Idia can’t wait to see you in them! He imagines how perfect you’ll look, and his mind races with ideas for what else he could send your way. Maybe a little something extra, just to make sure you know how much he’s been thinking about you.
...
At first, Malleus does not know what to feel. Initially, there is confusion—are you whoring yourself out? But Lilia explains that people can only look at you, not physically touch you. However, when it dawns on Malleus that others can see your intimate, seductive photos, flames flicker along his fangs. He carries the pride of a king, and it does not sit well with him that others can see what he considers his. Still, Malleus can't help but growl. Your pictures should have been for his eyes only. He frowns, deciding that even Lilia should not see them. You don’t know this, but you’re already his. In his mind, you belong to him. Annoyance courses through his veins—this is the second time he’s broken a phone today. As night falls, Malleus finds himself brooding in the solitude of his tower. The thought of you, your image laid bare for others, festers in his mind. He clenches his fist, struggling with a mix of possessiveness and anger. Lilia suggested he could unsubscribe from you, but Malleus ignores him. Instead, he contemplates offering you wealth and power—if you choose to be by his side, of course. As if you have a choice anyway.
Sebek is embarrassed, yet hypocritical, as he can't help but masturbate to your seductive content. Part of him hates it, but the other part loves it. How dare you, human! He huffs as he angrily shuts off his phone, only to turn it back on moments later, unable to resist the allure of your pictures. On one hand, he feels disgusted with himself for succumbing to such base desires—he is a proud servant of Malleus, and he should not be indulging in such... human weakness. It's an insult to his Fae heritage! But on the other hand, he is irresistibly drawn to you, his body betraying his thoughts every time he sees your updates. The internal battle rages on, but he knows deep down that he’s hooked.
Lilia hums to himself, elated as he chuckles upon seeing your new update. Lilia has had his fair share of intimacy throughout the hundreds of years he's been alive. The concept of seduction as a barter is nothing new to him. But! Lilia can’t help but admire the way the new generation goes about it nowadays! Back in his time, Lilia had to travel to a brothel for such experiences. Now, he can just use his phone from anywhere. Yet, a small part of him is disappointed that you’re not physically present. He grins, his fangs poking out as he sees you wearing the bat earrings he sent you. Ah, they suit you so well!
Silver is ever the gentleman, probably the only one in Diasomnia—the whole NRC, who can separate the ordinary You and the OnlyCam's You. You never told him but you appreciate his approach a lot. He is subscribed to your highest tier and he always gives you tips that he got from his allowance and payment as Malleus' guard. Silver’s support goes beyond mere admiration. He views your content with a sense of quiet respect, understanding that there’s more to it than just the seduction part you're selling. For him, it's about the effort, the confidence, and the creativity you put into your work. Despite the nature of your content, Silver’s feelings remain pure. He never asks for anything in return for his support, never expects special treatment. When he leaves a tip, it’s with the hope that it might make your day a little brighter, that it might help you feel appreciated in a world you're alienated to. He is a knight, well suited to protect you should you ask him to.
....
Rollo feels as though he's sinning every time he opens your OnlyCams account—blasphemous content! His heart pounds with guilt and shame as he scrolls through your seductive photos, each one a temptation pulling him deeper into the abyss. He knows this is wrong—so wrong—yet he cannot tear himself away. The purity and righteousness he prides himself on crumble under the weight of his desire for you. He mentally recites prayers, trying to cleanse himself of the impure thoughts that flood his mind, but it’s futile. The more he resists, the stronger the urge becomes. Despite the shame that burns his conscience, Rollo keeps coming back for more, drawn to the very thing he despises. Trapped in a cycle of sin and repentance, he battles with his inner demons, torn between his devotion to his beliefs and his growing obsession with you.
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spacelazarwolf · 1 year ago
Note
Hey there! I’ve really appreciated your posts and perspective over this past month, I’m having a hard time (as so many Jews are) and your voice helps.
I’m hoping you can help me with reliable resources. A friend of mine condemned the Hamas attacks etc (as they should, to my relief) but is under the impression that Israeli govt is doing genocide to the Palestinians. I’ve no idea how to approach that to verify (or not), I don’t even know where to start looking. Do you have any suggestions?
Thank you.
thanks! this is a really tough question, but i'm going to do my best to break it down. also if anyone's thinking of clowning on this post without reading it, inb4 "omg ur denying genocide!!!!!!" bc this post is literally outlining, in detail, all the ways the israeli government is, by definition, committing genocide.
this is really long, just a heads up.
a big frustration i have with a lot of progressive or leftist spaces is the tendency to throw around words like genocide without being able to define the term or properly apply it to the situation in question. this isn't just a semantics issue. if all you're doing is repeating the buzzwords you've heard on social media, your "activism" is going to be less than useless. it is crucial that if you are going to talk about the current genocide in gaza, you must be able to define exactly what a genocide is and how it applies to what's happening in gaza.
i'm paraphrasing from this article by the united nations. the word "genocide" was coined in 1944 by raphael lemkin in his book "axis rule in occupied europe." it was developed partly in response to the shoah, but also to previous instances of what we would now define as genocide. it was recognized as a crime under international law in 1946, and codified as an independent crime in the 1948 convention on the prevention and punishment of the crime of genocide.
the definition of genocide
(from article II of the convention on the prevention and punishment of the crime of genocide):
in the present convention, genocide means any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such:
a. killing members of the group; b. causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group; c. deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part; d. imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group; e. forcibly transferring children of the group to another group.
the 10 stages of genocide
a model created by gregory stanton, the founding president of genocide watch
classification - people are divided into "them and us"
symbolization - when combined with hatred, symbols may be forced upon unwilling members of pariah groups.
discrimination - law or cultural power excludes groups from full civil rights: segregation or apartheid laws, denial of voting rights.
dehumanization - one group denies the humanity of the other group. memmbers of it are equated with animals, vermin, insects, or diseases.
organization - genocide is always organized... special army units or militias are often trained and armed...
polarization - extremists drive the groups apart... leaders are arrested and murdered... laws erode fundamental civil rights and liberties.
preparation - mass killing is planned. victims are identified and sepaarated because of their ethnic or religious identity.
persecution - expropriation, forced displacement, ghettos.
extermination - it is 'extermination' to the killers because they do not believe their victims to be fully human.
denial - the perpatrators... deny that they committed any crimes.
application to the crisis in gaza
to start with the first definition from the united nations:
a. killing members of the group - YES
the death toll in gaza has risen above 8,000 according to the associated press. as far as i know, as of writing this post, there has been no ceasefire so the death toll will continue to rise.
b. causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group - YES
over 20,000 people in gaza have been injured, and gazans - particularly children - suffer incredibly high rates of ptsd.
c. deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part - YES
the israeli blockade of gaza has had devastating consequences for gazans. they are running out of food, water, fuel, and medicine, and this is costing additional lives.
d. imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group - unclear but leaning toward YES
whether or not it is the explicit goal, the current bombardment of gaza has put the lives of 50,000+ pregnant women in gaza at risk, along with their babies. babies who need incubators are also in danger as generators begin to run out of fuel.
e. forcibly transferring children of the group to another group - as far as i am aware, NO
according to the us embassy in israel, the palestinian authority ministry of social development is the only authorized entity regarding adoption of palestinian children. this doesn't mean it isn't happening, it just means i was not able to find any credible sources.
the 10 stages of genocide
classification - YES there is a long history in israel of othering palestinians, both socially/culturally and legally. former israeli minister of interior and minister of justice ayelet shaked shared a racist quote from netanyahu's former chief of staff explicitly framing palestinians as "the enemy."
symbolization - not yet there are no overt symbols palestinians, even within israel, are required to wear to outwardly identify themselves, but there are identifying features on their ids. in fact, the opposite has been happening, with far right members of the israeli government attempting to pass legislation making it illegal to publicly display palestinian flags.
discrimination - YES there is, again, a long history of discrimination against palestinians within and by the state of israel. it is difficult for palestinians from the west bank or gaza to gain status in israel, israeli work permits are used as a form of control, and often forcibly separate palestinian families.
dehumanization - YES former israeli deputy minister of defense eli ben dahan said of palestinians, "to me they are like animals, they aren't human."
organization - YES israel is currently carrying out an organized and brutal attack on gaza.
polarization - YES from extremist groups like hamas, to the corruption in the likud party in israel, there are very clear signs of extreme polarization. israel's siege against gaza has caused polarization across the entire globe.
preparation - YES gazans in particular are unable to leave gaza without a permit, and now with the blockade from both israel and egypt they are essentially trapped.
persecution - YES gaza in particular could absolutely be likened to a ghetto. as stated above, (in "usual" circumstances) they are unable to leave without a permit, and since hamas took control it is nearly impossible to get an israeli work permit.
extermination - GETTING THERE if the siege continues and gazans are unable to get out of gaza, there will be catastrophic casualties.
denial - YES i often hear that "israel has a right to defend itself" but i cannot possibly find a way to frame the current siege as "self defense."
so in conclusion, israel is - by multiple definitions - committing genocide against gazans. and it's very important to be able to identify specifics, especially if you are planning on having discussions about it. and i've said it in the past, but if you are not directly affected by what's happening - palestinians in particular, but israeli citizens and jews and muslims in the diaspora are also getting hit hard - it is IMPERATIVE that you are able to talk about this with a level head. escalating tensions and pushing away potential allies is only going to make things worse. find common ground, form connections, and then have a productive discussion.
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ellecdc · 4 months ago
Text
Running Late
poly!wolfstar x fem!reader who is visually impaired
CW: reader has a degenerative eye disease that has left her with little sight, boys are obsessed with her, Marlene and Regulus read Sirius like a book
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A/N: another fic no one really asked for but, after my post with our sweet wheelchair user!reader, our resident pink heart emoji felt courageous enough to share their own experience with visual impairment and I was inspired by her to write this - so, I hope you enjoy it 🩷 (and everyone else who might need it 🫶)
There was a time that you and Sirius rivalled one another for who took the longest to get ready, but lately it seemed that you usually won in that regard. 
Remus didn’t mind, however; he’d wait on you for the rest of his life if you’d let him. 
He had a certain amount of patience for you that he, admittedly, did not have for Sirius; seeing as you had your degenerative eye disease to blame on your tardiness whereas Sirius was just a slow and lazy sod who lived to drive Remus mad. 
He and Sirius had been dressed in their best in the living room as they waited for you to finish getting ready before heading to Regulus’ birthday party that Lily and James were throwing for him, when Sirius couldn’t take it any longer.
“I’m just going to go see what is taking so long.” He explained before he disappeared down the hall.
But that was almost 14 minutes ago and now Remus had lost two of his partners in his own flat.
He slowly made his way down the hall to the bedroom door that was currently propped open, allowing him to watch Sirius who was perched on the vanity table as he hovered over you with a stick of eyeliner in his hands. 
You used to be quite adventurous with makeup; always watching new tutorials and trying out different styles. But as your eyesight deteriorated, you opted to remain more natural in your looks, working primarily off of memory than visuals when having to hold a mirror so close to your face no longer allowed you the dexterity to work as you were used to. 
And Remus knew for certain you hadn’t touched that stick of eyeliner in what had to be months. 
“Don’t you trust my abilities?” Sirius asked teasingly; his tongue poking out the side of his mouth as he focused on getting the wing just right.
“‘Course I trust you, Siri. I just-”
“-don’t want to look silly, I know, doll.” Sirius finished for you softly as he leaned back to consider his work. “I’d never let you leave looking silly.”
“When has she ever looked silly, Pads?” Remus asked then, alerting the two of you to his presence. 
“Not once; never.” He answered readily, causing you to scoff.
“See, this is why I don’t trust you; you’re not objective.”
“I am too objective!” Sirius quickly denied.
“Sirius, you think I look sexy with my retainer and flannel pyjamas.” You deadpanned in return. 
“But… you are sexy with your retainer and flannel pyjamas? You just look so cosy which makes me think about bed, which makes me think about going to bed with you, which makes me think about what we do in said bed and-” 
“Alright, alright.” Remus interrupted with a hand on Sirius’ shoulder as he inspected Sirius’ handiwork. 
“How does she look?” Sirius asked him, leaning into Remus’ side as they both watched you flush under their attention. 
“Breathtaking.” Remus offered. 
“You’re not objective, either.” You murmured, pulling the small mirror close to your face in order to scrutinise Sirius’ application. 
“Fine, you want objective, gorgeous?” Sirius quipped as he pulled his phone out.
“What are you doing?” You asked warily as you heard Sirius’ phone begin to ring. 
“Calling the most objective people I know.” He answered just as the ringing stopped.
“What the fuck do you want? And also, where the fuck are you?” Regulus asked his brother.
“Hey Reg, you’re on speaker phone and I need a favour.” 
“On my birthday? You’re asking me for a favour on my birthday?” Regulus asked incredulously. 
“Relax you git, I just need you to find Marlene and put your camera on so you can answer a question for me.” Sirius called back.
You grumbled in protest at Sirius’ theatrics but acquiesced at Remus’ kiss to your temple and thumb rubbing along your shoulder where his hand rested. 
“The fuck does he want!?” You all heard Marlene ask Regulus, causing the two of you to snort and Sirius to scoff in offence. 
“You guys are fuckin’ horrid, listen; how do I look?”
Marlene went first. “Slutty.”
“Like you tried too hard.” Regulus continued.
“Like you’re still trying to piss off your parents even though you don’t talk to them anymore.” 
“Like you were lost at a Paramore concert back in 2007 and still haven’t been picked up from the venue.”
“Okay, okay, Jesus.” Sirius sighed before repositioning himself. “And how does Moony look?”
“Better, I guess.” Regulus offered. 
“If I had to pick a man.” Marlene continued.
“Great.” Sirius said sarcastically. “And what about Y/N?” He asked as he pointed the phone to you. 
Remus could tell you were trying your hardest not to completely turn in on yourself, which he himself was selfishly grateful for as he got to enjoy the view.
“God, she’s such a doll.” Marlene breathed out. 
“You look stunning, love.” Regulus called out.
“Great, you guys are both wankers, love you, see you soon.” Sirius responded before abruptly ending the call.  “Was that objective enough for you?” 
You let out a sigh of faux exasperation and threw your head back. “Okay! Okay.” You relented, allowing Remus to pull you up by your hands and kiss your forehead.
“Oi! Watch the makeup Rem!” Sirius admonished him with a pat to his arse. “We worked hard on that, don’t you know?”
And Remus did know, though he didn’t think you had to. 
Because you were beautiful - always had been - and the way you carried yourself with grace and determination even when you felt as though your body was failing you left you, somehow, even more beautiful. 
Remus had known you before your eyesight started to deteriorate, and he was lucky to have been able to love both versions of you.
Though, selfishly, he thought perhaps he loved this version of you more, simply because it was his.
Simply because it was you; here, now. 
And judging by the lovesick look adorning his boyfriend’s face as he watched you stand and give him a twirl, Sirius felt just the same.
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