#but him making it sound like someone passed away or sth made me realize how upset I rlly was

[you-can-face-this]

no but tell me why my ex-fwb texted asking if I was ok and then said he’s sorry about the tickets when we ran into each other

[masterjedilenawrites]

I’m not good at making requests, so forgive me if anything come out wrong.

But, could you do something were reader and Tech are fixing some eletronics and listening to cientific things, and start talking about a wrong thing people said there, so they get distracted and when realize, they’re in to a awkward position (like him btween her legs or sth like that)

I love your writing and thanks (: <3

Omg I've been so soft for Tech lately and this prompt is perfect 💚 I hope this is what you were looking for, I really enjoyed writing it!

Tech x reader | 2k words

...making bacta the most important scientific achievement in history...

"Dank farrik," Tech huffed beside you.

You came out of your daze at the sudden exclamation and looked at your friend with concern, trying to quickly figure out what had gone wrong. You were helping him with a project, though what it was exactly you weren't completely certain of. All you knew was it involved digging into the walls of the ship and untangling a lot of wires. You'd been instructed to hold onto several of them, keeping them pulled taught out of the wall so Tech could fiddle with the other ends, and the dullness of the task had caused your mind to wander.

"What's wrong?" you asked, doubtful you'd understand any explanation, but wanting to be sure you hadn't done anything to mess up his progress.

He waved a hand at you dismissively, not pulling his attention away from the work in front of him. "Just the radio," he mumbled.

You hadn't been paying attention; it had only been turned on as background noise to keep you from going insane with boredom. And since it was tuned into some kind of scientific news frequency, you didn't really understand much of what was being said anyway.

...with the most influential application simply being in the field of medicine, providing us higher life forms with a versatile tool in maintaining our quality of life, and potentially even prolonging it...

Tech huffed again. Scoffed. Your mouth quirked at how upset he was getting. It was kind of cute.

But, you had to debate whether engaging with his frustration would be worth it. He had only recently calmed down from his outburst earlier that day, the only time you had ever seen him genuinely upset. Wrecker had accidentally knocked over a piece of machinery that was... well, something very important, apparently. No one was too sure. But Tech had spent most of the week carefully arranging its parts just-so, so that when all his hard work went crashing onto the floor, his breathing had suddenly resembled that of a charging Nexu. He'd drawn himself up, trying to match his brother's height, and ordered the poor guy to never step foot in this part of the ship again. The other Batchers had tried to defend him and were subsequently banned as well.

That left you as the only option for help.

Maybe that meant he wouldn't kick you out for debating him....

"Sounds like they're saying some pretty reasonable things. Am I missing something?"

Tech's fingers, which had been deftly working through the wires before him, clipping some and splicing others, finally froze. The clone's face tilted over to you, his eyes looking a little too judgmental through those glasses for your liking.

"You think bacta is the most important scientific achievement?" he asked. You didn't like his tone, either.

You scrunched your mouth in thought, actually giving the question serious consideration. While you mulled it over, Tech stood up from his hunched position in the wall and started pulling on some of the wires, unraveling them from their tangled mess.

"Yeah," you finally decided. "I think medicine in general is pretty important. And bacta specifically is the strongest known substance to deliver fast and effective healing."

Tech was mostly focused on the wires, but he spared you a glance.

"And treating symptoms is the most important thing for humanity? Here, hold this." He added another wire for you to hold in your hands.

You knew it was a loaded question so you chose to answer it with one of your own. "Well if it's not bacta or medicine, then what would it be?"

"Electricity," he said quickly and assertively, as if it was the most obvious thing in the galaxy. He continued to focus more on his work and you were annoyed he didn't seem to want to offer up an explanation to his opinion, despite having made you give one. He'd finally untangled the wires and was back to leaning into the cavern in the wall and setting them into their proper places.

"Why electricity?" You hated how dumb your question sounded; obviously you understood the concept and understood its importance. You just really wanted to challenge him to give you some explanations.

"For one, most medicines would not be able to be mass-produced were it not for the electrically-run vats in which they are made." He held his hand out behind him and made a grabbing motion. "Blue, please."

You sorted out the blue wire and passed it over.

"For another," he continued, his voice sounding distant as he leaned further away into the wall, "we must ask what constitutes a quote-unquote important achievement. For example, is an achievement worthy of the title simply because it improves our quality of life? Green, please."

You handed over the corresponding wire. "I'd say it's more about preserving life. Even outside of war, there's enough injury and illness that would end life were it not for medicine to heal them."

"Ah, but in that same reasoning, electricity also sustains life. It powers sources of light and warmth, which can also provide a means of boiling water and cooking food. All keys to survival. Yellow, please."

"So does fire," you shot back. "People survived long before electricity, and there's still plenty of civilizations living fine without it."

Tech finally emerged from the wall and took the last few wires from you, the red and black ones. He met your eyes with an earnestness that let you know how much he was enjoying this conversation. "And people have survived without medicine. At least the manufactured forms that you're arguing for, like bacta. Traditional medicine is as sufficient as fire."

Before you could respond, Tech moved to the side, motioning toward the wall with his head and holding up the remaining wires.

"Now, unfortunately these last ones need to be clipped in down below. I'm not able to fit through the lattice of the floor, but someone of your stature easily could."

You stepped forward and peered down. It was a mess of machinery and pipes and beams, but you could clearly see the port where the wires had been yanked out earlier. You knelt down, resting your stomach on the edge of the wall, but paused before bending over.

"If it wasn't for bacta, you wouldn't have been born." You were confident in your comeback and thus didn't linger for his reaction, turning to bend down into the ship with your wires instead.

You were disappointed to hear his soft chuckle from above you.

"And what do you think powers the bacta tanks that hold the clone embryos?"

You were glad he couldn't see the frustrated frown on your face. While you tried to think of a new point in your debate, you snapped the red wire into the proper port. But then you realized you couldn't quite reach the black one, and started carefully shimmying forward, deeper into the wall.

"It seems we have circled back to the initial question," Tech offered in your silence. You felt his hands hold on to your hips, steadying you as your legs lifted from the floor, most of your body now inside the ship. You didn't think anything of it, though, your focus split between your task and his words. "What makes an achievement the most important? Both medicine and electricity are capable of preserving life, but neither are essential to survival. So, what criteria are we left with?"

You were finally within reach of the last port and pushed the wire into it. "Sounds like you already have the right answer, so why don't you stop teasing me and just say it?" you called up to him.

"I...I didn't mean to sound like I was teasing."

You could hear the apology in his voice, how truly caught off guard he was to hear that you had perceived his attempts at a friendly debate, a conversation, as mocking or disrespectful. Your stomach knotted up in guilt, making your journey to wiggle back out of the wall a little more difficult.

"I'm sorry, Tech," you said through a grunt as you tried to push yourself back. "I didn't mean to sound rude. I just don't know the answer."

You felt his arms snake around your middle, pulling you the last of the way out. You came to rest on your knees, breathing heavily at the sudden increase in air supply. Tech was crouched alongside you, his chest against part of your back, his arms still holding you.

"I honestly don't know the answer, either," he blinked down at you, speaking quietly. "I don't know what criteria would constitute the most important scientific achievement. I thought maybe we could figure it out if we kept discussing it."

You craned your neck around to look at him, unconcerned about the discomfort it took to do so. You needed to face him fully. "Or... maybe we don't need to figure it out? I mean, does there need to be one achievement labeled more important than any other? Can they not all be valued equally?"

"I suppose..." he relented. But only a little. "It is a fun thought exercise, though."

You smiled at that, and it made your heart flutter a little to see him return the expression. There were a few seconds between you where you sat pleasantly in each other's arms... before the realization hit that you were in each other's arms.

"Uh," Tech stuttered first. His eyes looked about frantically as if the more he saw of you practically sitting in his lap, the more he would know what to do about it.

Your face was hot and your heart thumped forcefully in your chest. But you weren't panicking. Even though you'd been around the Bad Batch for a while now, this was the first time you'd gotten physically close to any of them, especially this dorky genius, who made you feel just a little better about life than the others did. You hadn't been sure why, not until this moment, your face being mere inches away from his own. Now it clicked.

His arms had removed themselves from your frame and he was starting to crawl backward on the floor. You quickly grasped his shoulder to stop him.

"Tech, wait."

He froze, looking at you with wide, apprehensive eyes. His shoulder was tense so you relaxed your grasp and simply let your hand rest on it gently. You gave him a small smile. Thankfully these little gestures were enough encouragement for him to lean back to you. He still looked at you timidly, but he wasn't pulling away anymore. It seemed like maybe he had been feeling the same things about you.

"Yes?"

He was waiting for you to make the next move.

"So, this project," you stalled, needing just a little more time to work up the courage. "What is it again? Why did I just crawl into the bowels of the ship?"

Your face was creeping closer to his, breath gently fanning across each other, warm but refreshing.

"I... I..." Tech seemed to be short-circuiting. "I was just, uh, re... redecorating."

Your nose had just brushed his when you suddenly frowned and moved back to look at him questioningly. "Redecorating... wires?"

You were very amused at how flustered he seemed to be in this situation. But then the tables turned as Tech rolled with it.

"Yeah, I didn't like the way they looked in there. Wanted to change things up. You know me."

The smile on our face spread as he talked and you couldn't hold back your laughter any longer. You bent forward, resting your forehead in the crook of his neck while your body convulsed with giggles. Tech laughed along, bringing his arms back around you to hold you in place. When you finally looked up at him and the shit-eating grin he had plastered on his face, you knew you'd finally found your courage.

"Oh, Tech..." you chided, pressing your smiling lips against his own.

[stray-tori]

TPN Vol 8 - Chapters 66-70 Thoughts

[we're already on vol 9 but I'm slow with compiling]

I know I always rag on the "cop out" deaths and it is true that no corpse no dead, and I am curious if there will be any more worldbuilding regarding Lucas' survival (hello deus ex machina person) but uh. Idk. I'm sure it has a point and it makes sense in universe (having him be the reason for the knowledge among GP kids is good) but it just feels a little. Eh. Like it feels like paddling back on a small part of geezers guilt and feelings. In part it also feels like a "reward" for choosing the heroes moral side and going to help save Emma (why ever that happened - ig bc Gilda would blow up the shelter if he doesn't so. YAY).

...

Obviously the development is still his, and he obviously isn't expecting to find anyone alive there, but ig i felt like he was leading up to... healing more through the kids and not one epic Emma speech and "oh your one friend is alive btw" reveal later on. It feels like a spark of hope and happiness for him that I'm not sure if was needed narratively. He already decided he wouldn't harm them.

Like maybe they handle it very differently so i might be jumping the gun here but idk. It just feels a little... weird to me. Probably in a similar way how speeches about Norman hurt but also kind of get that "well uh about that...." Air once you know. I feel for the characters and their separation but it doesn't have the same weight it could have anymore.

In theory it reminds me a bit of the whole gate reveal structure in s2. With a setup being built up or established and a reveal just going "nvm that's not what we're doing".

It makes sense, I'm just not a huge fan of what it does for me for previously established things.

But i guess writing wise it puts its cards on the table with small scale Lucas and then Norman haha.

.

I find it rly funny how much the arc sort of mirrors the s2 arc so far (character assumed dead is alive, new cast of demon kill children introduced, a plan to kill demons).

Ig that might be intentional, for all intents it's a good method of conveying character change. Or different specifics or how things might be judged differently with different specifics (like hunting for enjoyment vs. farming)

I'm totally jumping in on this too early but idk it's interesting to think about.

That and also our whole "There's someone I want you to meet" - "ITS NORMAN" jokes made me think, like you could probably ACTUALLY restructure some of this in a way that would allow Norman's return here instead lol. Could be a fun AU, esp since we have the seeds of a (small-scale) demon annihilation plan anyway.

I also just find it funny to think about Norman grumbling from his future self that Emma agreed to some random guy's plan so easily udkhjsd

Obviously the time is a bit of a mess -- it's only been 3 months? is Adam out bc Norman's escaped already or was Adam just shipped to GP? if he already escaped, our boy is quick - plus, why would he go to GP. the supporters in Lambda probably know it's been compromised, so aside from freeing the children, there isn't a lot of reason to go there and while that may have priority, I feel like 3 months is a bit of a short timeframe for Norman to settle in there well enough -- so it's more wonky than anything BUT IT'S FUN TO THINK ABOUT.

.

btw I find it so funny how Emma has that whole "intent to kill" thing going on now, considering her later moral stance - like it's fair but coming from s2 it's a bit of whiplash haha especially since she's so determined about it right from the start. (though I have no idea if she ever addressed killing demons before this, memory bad)

Though notably she said "she wants to shut down the hunting ground too", not "want to kill them too" - and it's good that she draws a line but IDK IT'S JUST INTERESTING because what bothers her is the toying / no respect for their lives, right? - "this kind of hunt", not hunting in general.

... so like, if you were hunted by a demon in the wild, who didn't toy with you, just killed and ate you, that would be fine then? Idk, it's a very fine line and I get it, but it's interesting to think about. A quick, suffer-less death is of course a valid thing to want if you will die anyway, but you're dead afterwards in both variants.

Of course maybe I'm reading it wrong and it's just her sort of realizing that between mass production farms and GP, they really did have it good, even if they died an early death, and how this is much more hate-worthy than GF's method. Which is true, I suppose, and might expand on the building blocks of her moral development down the line (as in "there's different stages of demon-badness").

.

Also a more funny thought but imagine if Lucas DID have the pen, would... Geezer-senpai just not find the way back? And even if he did would he even get into the bunker? That'd be one tragic ending pff. Tell the person to run away and they can't even go back inside sudhdjd

.

Also i thought about it and isn't it weird that none of the books or materials mentioned what goldy pond actually is? Like youd expect sth that important to be in there.

We know WM wasn't at the bunker in the last 13 years and we know that the books he supplied to GF, the newest one was 2015. What if he was discovered or had to limit his WM activity 30 years ago?

So 30 years ago, he still sent people to goldy pond.

I'm just realizing.... That totally sounds like a setup for minerva to actually be on the demons side or a demon himself sjdhjddj. Like he orchestrates escapees (who are likely to be smart) and then sends them to GP where he and his noble friends can hunt them.

But where i was actually going with this uh, what if GP 30 years ago (potentially longer depending on how long ago he was there last) wasn't actually a hunting a ground? Why would you send kids there without a warning otherwise? What if it WAS a small human community (tho that would likely have been passed around by the inhabitants) or it was at least WM supporter base like the bunker, intended for humans to live there. Not sure about mansion then but YKNOW.

If it was, i wonder if it being discovered was a huge part in WM cover being blown OR if the demons decided to keep it secret bc you know this place is rly convinient haha

I also wonder how wm even finds and builds all these underground things lol. Bc it can't have existed since before the world split i think?

Man has some big construction projects running pfff.

I'm also not sure how that underground thing works-

.

its tori is confused about minor things hour

[Emma takes the axe with right hand, her right hand is still behind her as if she was winding up, but the axe is already thrown?]

like if she had the axe still in hand it'd make sense or if it was in her hand AND spinning, it'd be like "2 frames".

but this?? i am just-

.

im rly late with this but the glove is Lucas' memorial. the pair will only be together again when they reunite :<<

what I want to know is HOW. like the John thing is already questionable but I guess he could have gone back again?? but with this.

he has both gloves when they part he still have one glove on when his arm is gone. but the arm Leuvis has, doesn't have a glove?? So either Leuvis took it off but i wouldn't know why, and just dropped it on the ground for geezer to come pick up ORRRR he took one off for some reason?? maybe he threw it at the demon pff something is very un-continous here and i need answers-

.

the duality of man... not wanting people to know a) your age and b) your name (which you may have forgotten, who knows)

we just assumed geezer's name is censored here but I guess it could be anything haha-

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

So, I’m going to put this story out here cause it is bothering me again (guilt galore no other reason) and because I also don’t want that to happen to anyone else. (side note: At first I only spoke about it with my own people because I didn’t feel it was anyone else’s business that I fucked up, but through all these months that have passed since then, I have noticed some fans going for something I tried to do and fucked up big time so I want to give them all some heads up so that you don’t end up being hated by an artist you admire, or an artist that means a lot to you in some way, anyway.)

If you are a visual kei fan you’ve probably noticed by now that compared to other artists in the world, visual kei bands tend to be more personal, even to the point of replying to fan comments regularly or mails etc. Some of them do it to gain traction for their band and others because they genuinely want to develop some sort of communication, away from the stage, with their fans (the latter one is a minority so I never know whether that’s true or not but some of them have proved they have no other motives).

So yeah, one time, one of my favorite rockers was really hurt about something and started talking shit about himself more than usual, and, having been his fan for sometime, I was tired of no one saying something (see this is the thing, I have 0 confidence in myself yet there have been so many times people praised me for being able to calm them down and help them being heard and understood (not only people I knew personally, even strangers online that I only spoke once to in case I saw they were speaking about a problem in a post) that at that point I felt that maybe I could do it now for someone I acually cared for, which was a big mistake). He has hit rock bottom multiple times but dammit, even now, I believe in his talent and what he is all about, because he fucking loves visual kei and I think he deserves better chances so I tried to speak up. I have been learning Japanese for 2 years now but back then it was roughly 1 and a half years so I hadn’t realized that in order to speak Japanese, you don’t only have to translate your words right, but also use the right type of grammar to pass that you are caring for someone and not lecturing. As you might have understood from all this, I tried to tell him that I did care and that I don’t think he is shit and that life is a fuckin train-wreck but also that I really really didn’t want him to give up on life. He was like “There is nth fun about life“ and even though I agreed with that post he had made, I tried to be positive (not too much cause I know how fucking annoying it is when you’re super down and people come to you to say all the fun things about life that you don’t see) and told him that maybe he will find sth in the future and all (like maybe in the future sth you like will pop up). I told him he is not alone cause there are a couple of jrockers he seems to be really close to so I was like hey look, you are close with these guys for many years (or at least for as long as i’ve known him he’s been doing things with these guys) etc. I said many things, okay? And once this was all over, I apologized about any parts that might not make sense cause I didn’t know good Japanese and I was using a translator to help me.

His reply made me understand that, what he had understood from my last phrase was that I was looking down on his ability to understand what people are telling him cause he said “Don’t worry, even I understood what you said.“. I thought maybe it was translated wrong or sth and then he posted an angry tweet, right after replying to me, questioning wtf is fun about life and that if I had an idea what was fun then maybe I should tell him, cause he sees nth like that. I felt like a spear went through my chest and took sometime to think. I reviewed what I sent, I translated again phrase after phrase while crying and trying to find it but I couldn’t so I wrote a long ass apology for intervening with his life and told him I didn’t want to tell him what to do cause every person has their own life and it’s all about “your life your rules“ for me and I only wished to show him he has fans who like him about his work too and that we cared about his well-being and yeah, I said i will never send anything like that again i won’t bother him, maybe send some wish on bdays and stuff, and that i am stupid for speaking without being asked. Anyway he didn’t reply so I rushed to research about dealing with someone that hurts that much (cause I’ve always thought what he is going through is worse than me, which is why I refrained from giving specific examples of what could be fun to try for him). Long story short I found several articles in encyclopedias and not, discussing the fact that apologizing after hurting someone by taking all the blame makes it look like you make it about yourself. That you apologize because you can’t stand not being forgiven. I erased the apology part in a heartbeat. That was mistake no 2. Cause days later he posted about that “my life my rules“ thing and that he had discussed it with his boss who told him that there are times you can’t follow your rules in his opinion cause you have to think of what people might think (obviously that phrase for me doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take other people’s feelings into consideration, I just wanted to point out I am not lecturing cause it’s not my business to tell others what to do but that’s how it seems he received it), and he was thinking about it. From that post and another one he was thinking about it alone, he made it look like he didn’t remember where he saw it so I thought that maybe he read it when I sent it and then the next day, seeing it gone, made him think that maybe he imagined it or sth.

Anyway. On Xmas I sent a Merry Christmas under a Merry Christmas post and he liked it so I was like....are we fine now? Anyway I said nth more. And then months later Corona came up and for several days he wasn’t posting anything which made me worry cause he used to post everyday until then or with a few days break? (i know this sounds like I was stalking and maybe that’s what you call it when you care about someone’s well-being during a pandemic, but I always check a couple out of all my favorites’ twitters more often than the rest, either because they are often talking about suicide like this guy I am talking about, or because I simply enjoy their posts more.agree with what they say more, etc. Other than that I am just scrolling down my feed and like photos, or posts I find okay or that I really like or agree with *shrugs*) Anyway I took the courage to ask if he is okay. If he and his family are okay and said that of course he doesn’t have to reply, I just wondered due to the whole pandemic and I wish he and his own people are safe. He first posted a tweet after that, saying that he knows what game someone is playing and that he is not fucking with tanuki(sly) girls like her so she had better drop it and that he doesn’t need her help and other lovely adjectives about someone who pretends to care in order to sleep with him? What would you take after that? And he also posted two videos which I didn’t even watch but it was to speak about the band I guess or where he is at the moment? I don’t know. I knew I wouldn’t understand so I didn’t bother. I never send anything after that. I spoke about it with my own people and my teacher, though, and my teacher was sooo willing to help me clear the misunderstanding and explain herself that I am still learning and that she knows me and that I’d never try to “pretend I care“ in order to “fuck“ or gain anything else from anyone, but I said no, let him be and that we can’t be liked by everyone. If that is what he got from me then it’s my fault and we should end it there. And I did just that, I let it be.

Today he spoke about visual kei again. He says he will never give up and got me back to the reasons I liked him in the first place. It seems that he went back to the idea that visual kei is fun and his reason to be so, I am glad. I am glad he has sth to hold on to and that he is glad to represent. His bandmates made him an all gold guitar recently too and he seemed ecstatic so this is enough for me. :) But let this be a lesson for you fellow fans out there, especially if you don’t speak the language that even if you care, even if you are trying to be supportive, you can’t guarantee your words will be passed to the other persont the way you intend. Sometimes people receive our words differently and you end up feeling guilty because your “kind words ended up hurting them“. Don’t do that to yourself. Be careful how you approach the artists you love and if it comes off the wrong way and, after hours overthinking what to send and going through one single phrase you sent that came off the opposite way of what you wished, let it go. We are responsible for what we say not what other people understand from them so...be careful. Personally I still feel guilty, even though I understand the mistakes I made now that I know that formal and informal speaking isn’t that easy to define in Japanese without appearing rude but yeah...it’s not easy accepting you tried to help someone you care about or make them smile but ended up hurting them even more. One day I hope I will accept it and stop blaming me for it. The blame is mine yes, but people have to move on. He moved on so I can, too.

[raccoon-james]

Midnight guest

Pairing: Billy Bennet x Reader 

Words: 2522 

Universe: Deadly Class syfy 

Requested: Yes 

Summary: The reader has an unexpected guest in the middle of the night. 

Warnings: kinda bad writing I guess? 

A/N: As you can see, I’ve finally uploaded my work! It’s my first published fic, but I thought it’s good enough to show it to you guys. English is not my native language so I’m sorry for every grammar/language/spelling mistake I had made while writing it. Also, it’d be nice to receive some feedback, some pieces of advice – please leave a comment or sth. It’s very helpful and motivates me to write more.

                                                      ●○۞○●

Nights at King's Dominion contrasted with the school in the daylight. Relative calm seemed to return to school halls every time when sun comes down. No noises, no running or fighting - no whatever-made-pupils’-daily-rutine. With sun held up, high at the sky, the school was bustling with life, but with the moment of sun disappearing time seemed to slow down immediately.

Sitting in the room with the door closed, you could easily feel cut off from that little world you have lived for some time. It wasn't hard to feel lonely sometimes. All you had to do then was talk to your roommate, or sneak out to meet friends living in another room. If you wanted peace and silence it was enough to not speak to anyone, play music and take care of whatever had to be done - like homework or makeup.

You liked nights here. Somehow you managed to get a small single room, which was a godsent for you, someone who enjoys being on their own, and the lack of unexpected guests was a guarantee of a successful night. It gave you a feeling of control. You could choose when you wanted company or not; if you wanted some time by yourself, you just stayed in your bedroom. That kind of control was enough to make up for many things, that the legacy status had taken from you. People think if you have a high position in the walk of life then it's easier to live. Bullshit. Why is no one speaking about the expectations everyone suddenly has for you? That you have to be the best, never miss a bit in a fight, never hesitate to pull the trigger, to know all poisons at the back of your hand. And what if you simply cannot live up to the expectations? That's when the lynch starts. "She? I can't believe..." "You're so not what I expected" "The shame of our family"... People pick you clean, then go to work on the bones.

It was couple minutes before midnight and the only audible sounds were your breath, pen writing something down on a sheet of paper and the turning of pages of numerous books surrounding you. Tirelessly you've been repeating materials for the “fundamentals of psychopathy” class. It was interesting, specific but exceptionally enjoyable.

The conception of motive that you had focused on this night was far more addictive than you could imagine. For you it was like digging in someone else's brain. Coming to the conclusions about the killer’s personality based on his actions - adding the way of killing, some repeated patterns and you can compile information about their past, present...the top of the top in this field can speculate - based on tiny details found at the crime scene – about the traumas and habits of the criminal.

The cracking of the door interrupted your flow. While studying in a school for assassins, unannounced visits after midnight don't bode well. In any moment then you could find yourself stabbed or with broken arm, your position meant nothing. Everyone could become a target, from children of the heads of state, through mafia bosses, to the average street rats.

With daggers, the fight technique you have been training for several years, you almost never part with, always keeping them within reach. That was the main reason why you grabbed the weapon so quickly.

Ready to defend yourself, you turned towards the door, no longer sitting but standing. Feet shoulder-width apart, knees slightly bent, ready to fend off the attacker.

"Y/N, put the dagger down" said Billy closing the door, in the tone of someone who's welcomed by people ready to slit his throat at least three times every day.

"Uh, I don’t know, I like it... Brings out the color of my eyes, dontcha think?" you said relaxing a bit. You fliped the dagger that made a full rotation in the air and than came back to your hand, that fist on the handle again. Pretty easy trick but always impressing Billy - until one day you'd be very unlucky and loose a hand while catching the blade.

"So, what's the matter?" you asked putting down the dagger. You tossed it on opened notebook on your desk. It was obvious that the studying session is over for you, at least for that night.

"You better tell me, huh?" said the teenager seemingly upset, pointing out to a half-packed suitcase on the floor. Shit... You promised yourself to tell him about you leaving right before They come to take you, which would be about 7 am, definitely not midnight! For all intents and purposes you didn't even know who or where was supposed to take you by tomorrow morning. All you knew was that your parents admittedly, may have overplayed your hand a little. You were a kid after all, a student who'd rather stay up late studying killers’ minds than actually becoming one. Still, have you ever had any other options but learning how to live under direct orders of your family?

"I'm leaving...for some time" you mumbled averting your eyes.

"And what? You...you didn't want me to know? Just leave?" he started, and by that moment you realized what was going to happen. It was going to be a bloody long lecture about your incompetence as a very best friend, as a main theme.

You haven't completely got used to the relation between you and green-haired Billy Bennett. Since your connections with other people were built on viable alliances, and because your loyalty twords them was like loyalty of an average whore from the brothel, you haven’t had many friends. All that had to happen was an extremely unlucky incident, a broken nose and slippery wooden stairs, for you to make some changes in your social life. That was how you met Billy.

"Could you once in your life shut the hell up, maybe?" you stopped his speech before he got a chance to get started with it, slowly looking up at him. He shut his lips and tilted his head a little, raising his eyebrows, noticably surprised with your reaction. You sigh heavily, running your fingers through your hair, wondering what you actually wanted to say when you stopped him. Or was that only self-defense because you didn't want to hear him whine about how bad you really are.

"Y/N..."

"No" you cut him off again. Tiredness that studying drew away, now started to slowly overtake you. "I seriously wanted to tell you but..."

"But when I couldn't do shit about it, right?" he snarled looking little piqued.

"It's not always about you" you hummed staring at your white socks "I don't even know what they want me to do. I received a letter saying I have to pack up and be ready to go at 7 am in the morning. Nothing more. No greetings, how are you or a fuckin hello. It doesn't matter if I told you about this crappy trip today or tomorrow morning, you can't do shit about it.  I can't disobey direct orders" you managed to keep your tone serious. You glanced at the rat, still standing near the door. It could be harder for him without you at hand but come on! He could handle it before, so why the hell would anything change now?

Before you had the chance to think about anything else, Billy was standing next to you, embracing you all of the sudden. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you close, gently rubbing your arm. Despite the heaviness in your stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of your body pressed against his. You sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. His touch made the room warmer somehow, your future within its walls seeming a little less bleak. Still, you were confused after that sudden display of benevolence coming from Billy. Your body was tense, ready to attack. It took you a moment to edge off but when you did it, you returned the hug.

You liked Billy. He was like cat. Not a fluffy kitty, pretty as a picture but homeless, a bit scraggly and scrawny with unbelievably stunning eyes. These cats you want to take with you even if they aren't drawn to you. And honestly you'd never thought, till this moment, that leaving the cat would be so damn hard. Stupid Billy... Why on earth did he hug you? It was clear now why you had avoided profuse goodbyes all your life. It was so much easier to leave not realizing what's left behind you, because without "goodbye" it feels like you'd never really left. You spared yourself the heartbreaking pain and feeling of  loneliness, that goes hand in hand with every long-term goodbye.

"Do you have any plans for tonight?" you mumbled into Billy's t-shirt, hoping your voice wouldn't crack and reveal how devastated you started to feel with every passing second. You used to keep a stiff upper lip, but now it's harder, apparently.

He stepped back at the length of an extended arm and grinned as only he could, which warmed your heart.

"Sleep? I guess..." he answered slightly shrugging his shoulders.

You smirked wrinkling the bridge of your nose, waited for a moment just squinting at him and than turned on your heel so you can walk over to a nightstand and reach the alarm clock.

"I'm not sayin' now, right? But what else would I do at this hour, haha..." Billy muttered while staring at you, tracking all your movements when you were setting an alarm for 6;30 am. You mumbled something like "mhm" putting the device where it was before.

Bennett once again was like a torrent, an unbelievable flow of words which wasn't exactly what you needed right now. Soon it would be half past one, your mind has told you that six hours of sleep is definitely not enough for you to be full of energy by tomorrow morning. Billy was concerned with your actions but didn't ask any questions, hoping you'd tell him what was on your mind. What the hell were you trying to do? Well, you wanted to turn off the only light in the room which was the lamp on your desk buried in books and notes. And when you did it, complete darkness surrounded both of you.

Billy was ready to ask question about what the fuck you were doing. He raised his arm, opened his mouth but that instant you grabbed his raised wrist

"Come" you whispered, dragging him to bed.

"Wha...No! Y/N what the fuck?" he squealed, acting like he didn't want to go with you, yet somehow his body didn't fight back and let you sit him on the bed, so his behavior didn't match the words he was saying at all.

"God...I don't want to bang you man!" you rolled your eyes lying down on the mattress "I had already packed my emotional support teddy bear. How do you think I'm gonna fall asleep now, hm?" you were kinda joking, but kinda not - it was true you had packed your stuffed animals but it didn't really have any influence on your ability to sleep well. You just wanted Billy around, even though you haven't thought about it earlier. The boy widened his eyes on you or at least the darker spot on the bed that should be you. Pretty hard to see anything without any source of light.

"You're still sleeping with a teddy bear? What are you? Twelve?" he laughed. Not exactly laughed, more like attempt to laugh. He was cut off with a cold blade of the dagger near his throat, the best way to silence him in your opinion.

"Say a single word about it and you're gonna end up stuffed just like that teddy bear" you hissed not anymore laying on the bed

"Jesus, how many of them do you have here?" whined Bennett moving away the blade. You couldn't help admiring his ability to stay so chilled and cool with your threats. It was really impressive. Something (the dagger) landed on the floor as evidenced by the hollow metallic sound going with the sound of a laying back body.

"But waking up so early...I don't know..." boy was still whining around while taking his shoes off.

"I'll do my best to not wake you" you said calmly waiting for him to lay near you. To be honest you had never ever slept with him. Sure you had laid down together, sometimes even he managed to take a quick nap but you never lowered your guard.

Billy tried to lie down comfortably but it was hard since it was single bed, not exactly what two people need to sleep together. Your back was slightly touching the wall against the bed, sticking to the boys body, hoping it would compensate for the lack of the bedsheets. You were actually lying on one but it was pretty warm already so it wasn't necessary. With your arms around his neck and a leg over his belly you breathed softly into his hair. You know you should have found it adorable but after all you liked your space. Still you couldn't resist it since you haven't got any idea when you would meet him again. You weren't really much of a hugger when it comes to people,  but liked teddy bears as a kid and it you stuck with till now.

Time was passing and the feeling of tiredness disappeared, leaving you on standby mode exactly the same that you were on while being on a lookout. Just like someone if was about to burst into your room now and attack both of you. You haven't locked the door, it was haunting you now but you didn't want to move, scared it would wake Billy up. He was probably asleep by then. You could tell by the regular deep breaths and silence.

With your right hand, you reached for the boys head. For a couple of minutes, you were playing with his short green hair tangling them between your fingers until you would get tired again. That relaxing activity, it made it inevitable for unpleasant thoughts to come across your mind no matter if you were or were not prepared for them. Obviously, you weren't.

Was it possible for you to come back to school in one piece? Who would protect Billy from getting in trouble during your absence? Would you have a telephone wherever you were going, to call Billy here every evening or at least once a week?

It was mind-blowing for you since you have never, ever had problems like that! But also you never had a friend like Billy to make your life more complicated than it already is. Master Lin was right when he said that when you have someone who you would die for, sooner or later things were going to get messed up...

The red numbers on the screen of the clock showed five minutes after one a.m. when you finally dozed off.

[patriciaselina]

Nogami Sho’s photoshoot for numan’s  沼落ち5秒前！インタビュー／声優編

The translation of the interview connected to these pictures can be found under the cut!

So what led to you entering this world?

During my summer break in 2nd year middle school, I'd noticed that other people's names were lined up beside the characters' names in the ending credits, and while I had always known that the reality behind that was that "these are the people whose voices appeared in this show," it was then that I saw them in a new light. At that time I had to quit my club activities due to my injuries, and was worried about having a future without anything to work towards, so I was very happy and surprised when I found out about voice acting as a profession.

Please tell us the actors (seiyuu) you respect, and the reasons why you respect them.

Seiyuu:

Yamaguchi Kappei - I'd just become a regular cast member for a year (with him), but just by being there he'd make his surroundings become lively, his presence is really like the sun. He was very approachable even though we were newbies, and I'd always look forward to every time I'd get to see him at work.

Shimono Hiro - I met Shimono-san in the same show I got to costar with Kappei-san in. He's a guy who thinks about his kouhai a lot, and he advised me in many things, from work to private matters. Up to now we still exchange emails sometimes and get along well. Of course he's my esteemed senpai but he's the kind of guy I'd wanna call "aniki" instead of "senpai"...

Fujiwara Takahiro - Ever since my debut, he would take me out to eat during the times when I barely had enough money for transportation expenses, and he'd given me advice after I got reprimanded very bad at work...he'd always been looking out for me, and now I've been thinking that "this is the kind of senpai I want to become." Just like Shimono-san, he's the kind of guy I wanna call "aniki".

Enoki Junya - He debuted the same year as me, but from how nonchalant he is when he's at work, to how he does adlibs during dubbing...no matter where he goes I always see his face in a refreshing smile, but he's actually a guy who's passionate about his work and I think there are a lot of things he has that I don't have, myself...I'll never tell him this to his face, though (lol) And I'm simply just a fan of his Spiderman.

Actors:

TEAM-NACS (Morisaki Hiroyuki, Yasuda Ken, Ooizumi You, Totsugi Shigeyuki, Otoo Takuma) - TEAM-NACS, who met in their theatre research club in college, and up to now are still actively participating in plays as well as various other genres. Their variety shows and stage work saved me from the homesickness and other troubles I went through after first moving to Tokyo. If I could become the catalyst for someone else through my characters, just like NACS had been for me during those times, I would be happy.

Who are the actors (seiyuus) you get along with well?

Kumagai Kentarou-san and Takeuchi Shunsuke-san

Who are the seiyuu/actors who you want to have as a friend?

Ooizumi You-san. He's been involved in a lot of projects as a seiyuu so I'd be happy if I get to record from the microphone beside his someday.

What is your hobby/talent?

Shopping

What do you usually do on your days off?

I go strolling, which is okay even when I don't have much time. Or I'd go gossip about recent events with my favorite clothes shop's staff, while drinking coffee.

What did you eat yesterday?

Curry rice

The thing you want the most right now is?

Self-confidence

Of all the things you've ever gotten up to now, what made you the happiest?

The wallet my father bought me at around the time of my debut. I still use it now.

Your favorite karaoke party trick is?

Kimi no machi made (To your town) by ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION

Please tell us your hangups (whether regarding plays or not)

The character's feelings are important. Never forget that.

What have you sunken into (what is your obsession lately)?

Clothes...probably, right? In the beginning I'd scared myself into being aware about it by saying "If I don't present myself properly I'll never become a seiyuu!", but as time passed, bit by bit, I begun to just like it.

Up to now, what's the thing you've worked the hardest on?

The hardest...I can't decide on one, but I think it would be my audition for the agency I'm attached to, where everything started.

Up to now, what are you most useless at?

Normally there are very few things I am not useless at, so I can't think of what should come first; but I have an extremely horrible sense of direction, and recently it took me 40 minutes to go to a studio that's 10 minutes on foot away from the station, and in the end my manager still had to meet me halfway...I'm always very sorry.

my translation index

fun fact: numan comes with its own auto-translation function!!!...and i only realized this function right after i was already finished with this...interesting (hmu whenever, guys, i can help...but at a pric

“ What have you sunken into “ there is supposed to be “so what swamp are you in?” or sth like that, a reference to the interview series’ title!! ,,,but this sounded ok to me so i used that instead

thanks for reading!!! please do not redistribute this translation!

[codename-bewareofthefangirl]

AAAAH SOME AOMOMO PLEEEEAAAASEEE!!!! Anything that comes to your mind

Hi dear! Letme say it, you’re probably the most lucky anon I’ve ever met! When I firststarted this blog, I made a mistake and wrote this AoMomo instead of an Akamomoso…yes, I’ve never posted it and now you can have it! The prompt was thedialogue: “You should stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make mewant to kiss you.”

Hope youenjoy!

AoMomo, Fluff,After High School, Established Relationship, Long-Distance Relationship

Cherry Lips

 When did things start to change?

Aomine couldn’t answer. Maybe they never did, it justchanged the way he looked at them. Because, in one way or another, Momoi hadalways been part of his life. Her loud, bubbling chatting had been thebackground music of his childhood; her lectures had annoyed and amused him injunior school and her faithfulness had kept him breathing during high school.She’d never left him. Not that everything went pretty and easy either. They hadcold moments, during Teikou she stopped calling him “Dai-chan” for example, andsometimes their friendship seemed more a son-and-mother’s relationship…but withtime, they’d given it a proper shape.

Looking back, Aomine found it ironic how they realizedtheir affection when it was almost too late. It had been the sum of small details,which had started to pile up during the last part of his second year, when hisrelationship with basketball was more stable and he felt freer, that made themmove on. Little things about his life he started to notice. Was Momoi his typeof girl or his type of girl was modeled on the only girl he’d ever cared about?Why during their weekends, as always spent together, a sort of cripplingtension filled the air? Why Momoi had never left him even if he could be the ruderand more annoying guy ever? Why did he feel uneasy when she blabbered aboutKuroko or used “Aomine-kun” in public to avoid rumors? Why did his eyes alwaysfollow her?

Feeling protective when she walked alone in thestreets in the evening or guys stared at her more than they should. Feelinghappy seeing her dancing under the rain in the garden or talking about newdiscoveries about basketball players. Feeling at home when she curled upagainst him during their nights spent talking quietly in one of their rooms.Burning with desire to caress her cheeks, brush her cheeks and hug her tightlyduring sad days.

Aomine was slow, but not stupid. In the end, he had understoodhe wanted to be by her side, as he had always been, forever; he wanted her tobe the only one. And this wish had aclear, defined name.

Unfortunately, it was too late. They could enjoy fullytheir new relationship only for a year before they chose different university’spaths and were thrown in a long-distance relationship; a year full of smirksand excited laughter, of afternoons spent goofing around with a basketball andnights on the couch watching stupid films. Days filled of “Dai-chan” andchildish pouts, of quick embarrassed kisses and sudden, giddy hugs.

Now, they had to settle for random weekends when theirschedules allowed it or for the holidays spent at home. And, for Aomine itwasn’t enough.

 “Oi Satsuki, how did the week go?” Aomine asked on thephone, laying down on his bed and looking at the blue ceiling, a hand behindhis head and the other playing with his favorite ball.

“Dai-chan!” she trilled in his eardrums and he felt hislips curling in a smile, “I’m dead tired! My evil professor assigned me threeproject to submit by today!” whined to him.

“I bet you aced them anyway,” he commented rolling hiseyes.

“That’s obvious, Dai-chan!” she laughed wholeheartedly,“You know how they say? The only one who can beat me, is me,” she quoted and itwas as if he could see her mischievous grin.

“Stupid,” he snorted, shifting and rolling on hisstomach.

“Did you attend practice properly?” Momoi asked again,in his mother like tone.

“I always do,” he huffed, passing the fingers throughhis blue hair.

“Do you remember you’re talking with your formermanager, right?” she mocked him.

“I thought I was talking with my girlfriend.”

“Unfortunately, they’re the same,” she repliedgiggling and Aomine closed his eyes, remembering her face when she laughed athis stupid jokes. Man, they haven’t see each other for a month now. Sometimes,he feared the day he could not recall her smile anymore.

“Well, then the answer is maybe.”

“Dai-chan! You promised!” she scolded him and the boy couldsee her putting the hands on her waist.

“Do you believe me if I say it was because I had tostudy?” he tried, defeated.

“No.”

“You know me too well,” he muttered under his breathand she laughed again.

“Years of experience.”

“However, don’t worry. Kagami has taken your place asa nagging nanny. He literally drags me to practice by force if I try to skip,”Aomine sighed twitching his lips and heard her chuckling.

“The truth is that Kagamin is my undercover agent!”she threatened lightly and he grunted at the idea, “However, what are you goingto do tonight?” Momoi asked again, to carry on the conversation. As always,they tended to spent hours and hours talking together about everything, mainlytrivial things. Just to feel as if they were still sharing the same life.

“Bakagami had abandoned me with a stupid excuse andsaid he’s going out, without inviting me. The bastard…We had planned a playstation’s tournament. Now, I’m going to watch some matches on TV,” he complainedabout his roommate, who had mumbled something incoherent and disappeared anhour before. He was hiding something, but Aomine couldn’t discover what.

“Poor Dai-chan!” Momoi joked amused and Aomine finallyrealized something strange about her voice.

“And you? What are you doing?” asked curiously, “Areyou out?” He could hear her accelerated breath and…was she eating something?

“Yup, I’m walking! And eating cherries,” she explainedhappily, like a child.

“Cherries?” he repeated, while his mind imagined Momoitaking a red cherry between her long, delicate fingers to bring it to her mouthand then biting slowly the fruit, her lips turning scarlet red and…damn.

“You know I love them. I’m the beast at knottingcherry’s stem,” She flirted shamelessly, knowing exactly what his boyfriend wasthinking.

Aomine groaned, burying his head in the pillow.

“I know perfectly how good you are,” he replied with alow growl, “You’ve gotta stop doing that,” Aomine added in a whisper.

“What?”

“Saying things that make me want to kiss you.”

Momoi fell silent for a moment and Aomine knew she wasblushing, because, even if she was flirty and bubbling, she loved romantic,fluffy lines that he usually never used. Moreover, they both knew the implicitend of his reply: “Stop doing that now that we’re not together.”

It was painful, a bittersweet grip to their hearts.

“Dai-chan, sometimes you are the one who says thingsthat make me fall in love with you,” she stuttered in the end, probably smilingwidely and tilting her head to the side as always when she looked at him withstarry-eyes.

A long, obnoxious ring sounded in Aomine’s room beforehe could answer, probably with something cheesy again to make her happy, and hemoaned annoyed. He wanted to shout to Kagami to move his ass, but thenremembered he was out and just cursed.

“What’s wrong?” Satsuki asked, hearing him moving andshuffling things.

“Someone ringed the doorbell.” He explained irritated.Why a man couldn’t even talk to his girl in peace?

“Do you want me to hang up?” the girl offered, but inher tone Aomine heard the plea for not having to do it.

“Don’t even think about it. I’m sending this one awayin a second.” He growled, leaving his room and walking down the narrow corridorwith the phone in his hand. He reached the door and started struggling with themultiple locks.

“Well…” Momoi whispered giddily on the phone, while finallyAomine opened the door with a glare, “…I hope you aren’t going to do that forreal,” she finished standing in front of him. On his doorstep, for real.

Peach hair and sparkling eyes. Scarlet red lips.Aomine’s too big hoodie on her tank top and a fluttering skirt. A bag of cherryin a hand and the pink phone in the other.

Aomine froze, paralyzed, and blinked at her, slowly.

“Surprise, Dai-chan!” she chirped with a timid andquivering smile, blushing.

Aomine’s phone fell on the floor while he threwhimself at the girl, wrapping his arms around her waist and finally savoringthose long-awaited cherry lips. He didn’t need it anymore.

“Satsuki.”

[zelos-official-armrest]

Promised Warsaw Boom fanaccount

Ok, where do I start? Was this an experience! It was my second B.A.P concert and boy am I happy. B.A.P truly are amazing! It was my first time travelling all alone AND to a country so far away from home so I was pretty nervous at first. Besides B.A.P I met many nice Babyz so shoutout to you guys! I’ll put the long overview under “read more” so if you don’t want to, you don’t have to scroll through all of this.

I’m not gonna put much about my travel down here, but I’ll mention that the traffic was really busy on Friday so I struggled for 3 hours to get to my hotel using the public transportation. I was so tired afterwards so no sightseeing which I had previously planned to do. At 5 pm on a day before the concert there were already about 10 people queuing outside the venue.

Me and @mingyubabe had decided to queue together and so we left for the venue a bit before midnight. I’d say there were around 40-50 people there when we arrived. Here’s a blurry picture.

Some Babyz had a leftover heat blanket? (Idk how they’re called) and they gave it to us so we wouldn’t get too cold at night. Thank you a lot! We had to sit there until 6 am to get our first numbers. In the end, the fact that we queued for so long, didn’t almost matter because as it came out, the fanstaff had an unoffical list where they wrote down names and this had begun already on Thursday?! (Found sth on twitter about 2 Spanish babyz arriving then and bombarding staff with their calls, like wut?) Since we didn’t know anything about the list and I don’t think they ever announced it anywhere, we got our names written down like 5 am in the morning, so my number was 110.

Next check-ups were at 13 and 17. By that time I had gone back and fourth my hotels (had to switch because the concert day was sold out in my first one). At 4 pm fans had planned a flash mob and I heard from someone that B.A.P was going to watch it. So everyone gathered under the balcony and we started waiting and chanting. Then someone came out and everybody screamed. Well, that was just some random dude (probably staff) and then everyone laughed. This happened like at least 10 times, in the end I got kinda tired of it because fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice... One cameraman had the time of his life though, haha. Probably went back home and boasted that he just made 1500 fangirls scream.

And then finally our boys came out and there was actual thunder and lightning, lol. I was like WOAH, omg, this is great! At that point my day had already been made. I got a picture of them with my OWN PHONE (yeii, my first pic of them). Dae looks like he’s looking straight to the camera. If you’re wondering where’s Jongup then look really closely between Himchan and Zelo. That tiny strand of hair sticking out is him.

They were filming an waving and sending hearts our way. Youngjae was being his sassy self in the end.

Now a bit off the course. Since you know, this year they had a dress code for the concert so I’ll post a pic of my outfit for it. I tried to fit several styles (rose, casual, maybe sexy&special too, idk if I can classify as this) but the main thing were these bunny ears with LED lights that I made all by myself (White parts are hand-painted with acrylics, I also sewed, glued and messed with electronics). Worked really hard to make them and I’m pleasantly surprised they survived the concert after all the water fights and jumping.

The concert itself was wonderful. I’m not able to compare it to last years one in Helsinki because the circumstances are different. That one was my first ever B.A.P concert so it certainly left a huge impact. I really loved the solo performances that time. But I can’t say this concert was any less. I’d say this time there was certainly more fan interaction.

As everyone already knows the concert started with DJ B.Shoo hyping up the crowd. I think I’m not gonna talk about all the performances, but maybe just point out some. The remix parts were nice as always, Youngjae was the one picking a lucky fan this time and then they drank beer. The water gun fight was crazy, I was soaking and my makeup was getting kinda smudged (at some point 4 of them were just pouring water everywhere. I think I accidentally swallowed a drop from Youngjae’s, but the main evil was Himchan. He’s responsible for ruining makeups, lol). Zelo’s solo song in English was adorable, Jongup and Daehyun did really well with theirs too. We got butt wiggles from Zelo and Daehyun and Yongguk lift his shirt. If I remember correctly, someone kicked someones butt and Dae gave a backhug to Jongup? We started using our whistles for fanchants when One Shot came on. Their performances are really powerful and their moves are so smooth. They still sound like they eat CD-s and dance effortlessly. The concert was sold out and I think B.A.P were really amazed. They thanked the crowd and promised to come back to Poland next year.

I had a VIP ticket which meant guaranteed high5. Our high five took place right in front of the stage, like, we were just waiting and then we see the members in front of us. I was surprised because I thought we would go to another room to do this. The picture is very blurry because my phone didn’t want to focus but you’ll get the gist of it.

Everyone had such loving smiles and soft hands and they told me thank you when I high fived them, so I answered the same (I had planned to tell something else, but it would’ve been awkward if they said thank you and I’d say sth out of topic). Yongguk and Daehyun were the most memorable for me, Daehyun slid his hand a bit while high-fiving, so the fingers kinda linked a bit. Even Jongup, whom I though would be a bit in his own thoughts or sth, was really into it. For some reason though, Himchan was either tired or thinking of sth else, so he didn’t really pay attention. While other members had their hands up, he had his down, so at first I was searching for it.

But in the end, I could high five all of them and that’s all that matters. I was really happy, the concert was great and I had so much positive experiences. Now I’m on a high for some time.

Now on another note, I was heading back home on Sunday and I met B.A.P at the airport. I didn’t take any pictures because I didn’t think it would’ve been appropriate. They got even less sleep from last night and their flight was departing soon, so it’s up to you if you believe me or you don’t. To be honest, I was actually hoping to see them there, because I had a small present for Yongguk, but gifts weren’t allowed at the venue this time. I still took it with me should there come a chance like this. So... my flight was at 11 o’clock but I saw that planes to Budapest were leaving either at 10:30 or 10:50. I waited a bit near the corresponding gates. Then I saw a suspicious looking man in a mask standing at the McDonalds. I thought to myself, could this be one of them. My suspicions were cleared when a person in a black coat with huge red text on the back of it appeared. “Death by Rock&Roll” it said. Jongup, Youngjae (the suspicious masked man), Daehyun and Zelo sat at McDonalds near gate 36. I wanted to confirm so I got a little sneak peak from the other side. When I got back, there was a shop at the corner and VOILA! Wild Himchan appeared. He was shopping there with the pretty stylist lady. They came out and I said hi to them. The stylist lady smiled but I don’t think I got any reaction from Channie.

There wasn’t much time left to board the plane and I still hadn’t seen Yongguk. I decided I had to at least hand the present to some of the members then. Dae, Jae and Zelo left McDonalds so I walked after them. They were going to a different gate than I assumed. As I was walking, someone passed by me on the right side and it was Jongup. He went to Daehyun and they turned around, Dae put his hand around Up’s shoulder and they walked by me without noticing. I guess they headed to the bathroom. So there I was, standing real close to the other members with Yongguk nowhere to be found. Zelo seemed pretty lively and in a good mood so I decided I’ll ask him to give this present to Bang. As I was getting ready to talk, I looked slightly left and on the chairs opposite of Zelo, there he was. Damn he’s good at playing hide and seek, haha. I was standing 1 meter away from Yongguk and as I was about to hand him the present, their manager turned around and was like woah, what are you trying to do here. I told him I had a present for Yongguk, so he took it and handed it to him. I stepped a bit further from the manager. Yongguk was really surprised, he was like, where did this come from?! So he looked behind and saw me standing there. He realized I gave it and nodded and smiled and put it in his bag. I answered with the same and rushed away. I was so so happy. He is so precious. I’m very glad there weren’t any other fangirls crowding them at that moment, which gave it a bigger meaning for me.

Since I didn’t take photos, you’ll get these not-very-good doodles from me.

And this is it. I almost missed my plane, but I will never forget this. I was incredibly lucky yet again. #ForeverWithBAP

[thesniffler]

This time around I ship you with lovee Ronald Weasley. (Romione is still my fave, but you two would go really well together) 1. You two would really enjoy just sitting on a couch together in the common room, whenever thunderstorms hit. He would more likely enjoy the fact that spiders kept away from creeping up on him when there are thunderstorms than the way lighting illustrates the sky. He would share his few sweets and treats with you and when his mother sends him homemade pastries (1/a lot)

SHIPS FOR KISSES CLOSED

“you would have one waiting on your plate already at the next meal. 2. Once in a while during a study session he would be really nervous. He knows you don’t like to serve as everyone’s personal talking library, but with just the two of you around and him not getting anything down for this Charms essay, he is just a little anxious. Of course you would sooner than later realize his weird way of opening his mouth and then closing it with a little gasp again without uttering a single word. (2/a lot)

You would in return just scribble some key points and hand the scroll across the table. He makes that weird little hiccup sound when he reads through it and scribbles something on a parchment scrap. He hands it to you. You sport a small grin when you read his words. “You are like Molliare to a broomstick is to my heart. You know, like how they use that charm to make broomsticks more comfortable for riders.” And then he blushes furiously. Hurriedly Ron scribbles another parchment scrap (3/a lot)

and slides it over to you, not being able to lift the tomato on his head from his notes. “Merlin’s beard, I didn’t mean for it to sound so sexually and everything, we were just studying and you know I am (struck through “sometimes”) always not good with words and everything and this relationship thing and stuff. Sorry, love!!!!” 3. One summer night during holidays you would meet up in a forest. He has no clue why you asked him out to this dark, very dangerous, filled with spiders (4/a lot)

forest at night, but he went nonetheless. You scared the living shit out of him when you brushed your fingers down his spine. After his initial diva reaction (Sth about not accepting to be treated this way, how this is not gonna happen again, etc), he finally agrees to be led to whatever you have prepared in the dark, dangerous, spider rotten forest for him. “What’s this all about then?”, he asks. You just silently release a bunch of fireflies you had collected from the Forbidden (6??/a lot)

Forest with Hagrid. The illumination allows him to take the atmosphere in: picnic dinner, comfy cushions all round, a flying, flat surface and a movie projector. The look on his face says no words. “Well, I thought that instead of just watching a movie at home, we could watch a movie underneath the stars. And …”, a little cough escaped your throat, “maybe get some time alone?” Oh dear, that got longer than expected, lol. I just picture you as someone who would love to surprise (7/I lost count)

their fav persons with cute dates. It’s been a while since I last read anything Ron-only related, so there might be some glitches to his personality, but I hope it’s okay!Ehehehehe, so back to my Kiss *wriggles eyebrows seductively* You know I love me some Sirius action!!! BECAUSE IT IS ME – JORDANONNY! But because you may find it boring to always write Sirius, I would be more than okay to get Georgie all over me, lol. I’d like a happy first kiss please; the last two things broke my (8/I guess)

heart. Still female, still Slytherin, but this time round I want to beat the Gryffindors in a Quidditch match as la capitana of Slytherin’s team. *eyebrow wriggling intensifies* But I also won’t mind just chilling with the Girls and being all into DeepTalk! Oh btw, sorry for spamming you. I will now return to studying or my exam ._______. Please help, dear Neville, for I am taking muggle herbology. PS Sorry for spamming, I just had to confirm to tumblr I was not a robot lol (9?/maybe)

Jordanonny again - Oh dear, I am still sorry for spamming you. I just wanted to say thanks for the Situatuíon Aesthetic!!! My poor puppy just being so heartbroken all the time and yet having to be brave for everyone else. Please don’t rush with anything I request, I have patience. Actually, I have exams. Which may or may not result in the same thing hahaha”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*GASPS* Jordanonny!

Oh my goodness. I could not keep the smile off my face or the laughs in my tummy from reading these adorable little scenarios you’ve done for me!

Thank you so much, it’s always wonderful getting shipped with someone different than usual and Ron is such a sweetheart.

Enjoy love!

(I’m sorry if it’s a bit short, I’m trying to keep them a little short like I intended to do from the start.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flying through the air was what you lived for, racing around players, dodging bludgers and throwing quaffles through hoops. It’s what set your blood on fire.

That was until your eye had caught a shock of red hair and well something else set your veins a light with challenges and smirks.

That’s how it began when you started playing the Gryffindor team as the Slytherin’s captain.

Every game was the same, a cheeky comment, a cat and mouse game against the beater twins, George more than his brother Fred.

This time was a bit different. The tension was higher, the smirks just a bit more wicked and the flirting, god it was off the charts even Lee Jordan couldn’t keep the commenting to himself.

“And they’re off again! The Slytherin’s dynamite captain and George Weasley! Leaving us all wondering if this is a Quidditch match or foreplay!” A laugh tore itself from your throat as you caught sight of the microphone being pulled from Lee’s hand by Professor McGonagall.

You ducked quickly under a bludge passing by and made a beeline for the quaffle that was being traded between two of the Gryffindor chasers.

You watched as one of your beats bats connected with the bludger and set it harshly towards George’s head. He ducked in the nick of time.

“Oi! Foul on that!” Fred called out for his brother’s face as they went racing around the pitch. You called out to your player.

“Keep it below the shoulders! He’d look a lot less pretty without a face!”

You heard a laugh and turned to see George zipping up past you.

“Thanks for the concern love.” You rolled your eyes and smirked.

The game was like that, a quip here, a flirt here, but still fiercely competitive, real ground never really given until Potter caught the snitch. Slytherin, however, still came out with more points and therefore took the game.

You were ecstatic, shaking hands with the crestfallen Gryffindor team, sending a wink in George’s direction before heading off to get a shower and change from your sports robes. You were the last one to leave, as usual, congratulating your teammates as they headed back towards the dungeons for the celebratory party.

As you finally made your way from the changing room, hair damp and skin clean of dirt and sweat you were stopped almost instantly by the appearance of George, he too, changed and clean from his Quidditch garb.

Suddenly there was that flirtatious tension in the air again, coiling tight in your chest as you smirked up confidently to the boy.

“Nice game out there Wea-” You were cut off by George moving forward three strides and cupping his hand on your cheek, lifting your mouth to his in a hot press of lips.

The smirk fell from your mouth and you closed your eyes against the feeling the pumped through your veins. Like the fire of flying but the headiness of a quick drop. Your arms went to his tall shoulders and you lifted yourself into the kiss, George’s hands going to your hips and setting you back just a tad til your shoulders touched the cold stone of the castle.

The touch from his hands was like a warm summer’s day and you could smell his soap from his skin as his nose brushed against yours when you tilted into the kiss, lip caught between his before you pulled away, eyes fluttering open slowly.

“Good game George.”

[beartes22]

A little Zoyalai for your lonely souls

You know the four cats (@stormwitchprivateer  @mimiofthemalfoys @thekiingofscars  @bucumber  @gizkasparadise Idk who else they are like five and I have searched for each one of you for content like a stalker) that are thirsty like me for the King of Scars Release and who I will avoid till my book arrived the sixth bc I have a hate/love relationship with spoilers and you will probably post your impressions. 

Anyway, I wrote sth. If you’re interested. Under the cut. Feel free to ignore me

There are things he can never tell anybody. Nikolai suppresses the urge to snort, there were always things he can never tell anyone. He dons many maks and all of them are incomplete. To Ravka, he can’t be a bastard; to his old crew, he can’t be a prince; to his people, those who depend on him, he can’t have doubts. He is a beacon of hope, always. The keeper of secrets, the best actor there is.

There are things he can never tell anybody alright. And then there’s Zoya Nazyalensky.

She’s not a dream wrapped in mystery and clothed in beauty. There’s no hidden corners or sweetness or all that fragile, ethereal things written and imagined time and time again in women. Zoya is not like a sea breeze or a cold air current or the exhilaration of the wind against your face the first time you dare to fly. She isn’t even like the storm in the middle of the sea, when the sea stripes everything out of men except their need to survive.

She’s harsh and truthful and ruthless. She’s loyal and fierce and stubborn. She knows herself much better than a man can dare to describe her. No. Zoya is not like that.

(But Zoya is the first breath after drowning. She’s the gasp after waking from a nightmare. She’s-)

Nikolai doesn’t remember much of his time as a...well, back then. He doesn’t wish to. He remembers trying to hold to his purpose and his identity. Flashes of the Sun Summoner, that girl who despite the hold corruption had of her, firmly dragging her down, stood time and time again as herself. He knows he traveled the Unsea, he knows when the screeches of the monsters that suddenly sounded so human started to make sense to him, almost like words. He knows that he fought against his orders- because Nikolai was not born to rule, not really, but he made himself a ruler and no Darkling could take that away from him, not even then.

But the part he remembers most clearly is falling. Thinking, barely conscious, of the cost of freedom. Welcoming death. Then, he was flying. Not as a volcra or a demon, not even like one of his boats. The wind simply carried him like a friend to the arms of an ally. She smirked then, burns on half her face and filth coating the other half. She was a mess and her eyes shined with power and victory.

(Sometimes, Zoya’s beauty was like a punch on the face)

“Looks like I caught myself a king” She was playful with barred fangs and Nikolai was left speechless, breathless, thoughtless. His charm was an alien mask to don, like all the others, all incomplete and lacking. He was stripped naked before her and she smiled, daring him to- well, he still doesn’t what she was about but he has never met a challenge in his life he couldn’t met. There was light blinding him and his eyes subconsciously searched for the Sun Summoner. Instead, he found Ravka. His shining, broken, desperate Ravka. Nikolai never was one for Saints of legends outside of their use in his pursuits but he believed then.

For all but an instant, there was a miracle.

Then Zoya dropped him to the ground without a care and the magic was broken. “Do try to keep up, your highness.” She said over her shoulder, voice honey sweet and mocking, already walking away. He followed her. In that moment, he would have followed her anywhere. It was a feeling he didn’t as much dislike as fear. Nikolai was a king, he took the lead, even with weak knees and-

It could have ended up like that, just a moment too fast to catch but things with Zoya are never that easy.

His first years as a King weren’t easy but- they were a difficult he could deal with. He knows how to rule without sleep or food or hope. He could lead men with his eyes averted, always looking at a better future. He could make the best of the chaos, after all, Sturmhold has grown up in chaos and mist.

But his nightmare turned real and he was a monster again. That first time after, when he woke alone and covered in blood, he didn’t know where he found the strength to come back. Probably his ambition turned selfishness because as much as Ravka didn’t need another monster to rule her, Nikolai has taken it. Monster or not, a pirate is not in the business to give back his stolen goods. He did not choose to be a bastard and being king was the ambition of his life, but a pirate? That he chose.

That, he is.

He was a monster again and the hope he has for Ravka was escaping time and time again between his corrupted claws. He woke, time and time again, with broken clothing and old blood and-

After that first time, Zoya was always there. He didn’t understand why, then, he barely does now. But she is. He gasps that second or third time, fighting against the darkness that slowly consumes him and here she is, bright-eyed and tense with caution.

(Slowly, so slow he didn’t notice till it was too late, Zoya was the only sight he associated with safety.

Painstakingly, so humbling he barely took note, Zoya was the only one who saw him that weak, a trembling pathetic mess of a man and he didn’t care.

Carefully, like the first draw of a new project, an idea so brilliant he’s blind to anything but it, Nikolai-)

“You have to marry. Ravka is at risk without its heir” Her voice is not as harsh as her words, never has been, but it carries so well it’s easy to see why she leads the Second Army with such efficiency.

“You are still too interested in my love life, Nazyalensky” The response is immediate, barely thought before it escapes his lips. The smile that accompanies it is equally charming as daring “I wonder why”

Zoya rolls her eyes. His smile widens

“Someone has to.”

“Ah, how lucky I am to have your meddlesome self on the case then. Your practicality knows no bounds”

He doesn’t care to see the exasperated looks traded between Genya and- well David most probably is just baffled but it’s the thought that counts, he supposes.

“King or not, I will maim you”

“Eager, are we?”

He doesn’t have a clue why he’s baiting a tiger but he can’t help himself.

“Don’t flatter yourself”

“It’s not flattery if it’s true”

“If you have finished your courting rituals, we have actual issues to discuss” Genya drawls form her side of the table. His face is warm and he doesn’t understand why. He declared himself shameless long ago. He acts as if it’s nothing and smiles his most charming grin at his Grisha generals.

“Let’s get going, then”

He is careful and does not look at Zoya’s eyes for the rest of the meeting. He stares at her nose instead, it has tiny freckles on it and is round as a button. Sometimes she scrunches it when she’s viciously murdering someone’s else point. It’s absurdly cute.

“So” Starts Genya with her hands still healing the scratches of his face some weeks after. Nikolai is tired, already weary of his busy schedule and wondering if Ravka will survive one day if he books it and sleeps it away. Probably not. Last night was a hard one, but a country waits for no man. “When are you going to realize you’re in love with Zoya?”

Nikolai chokes on air.

“I’m what?” He gasps. He tries to regain some composure. He throws back his head and laughs. It sounds genuine- Nikolai is a great actor- but it feels fake “That was a nice one”

“Never it is” Genya finishes his face. Nikolai tries his best not to scowl. He succeeds, of course. “She’s going to find someone one day and it won’t be you”  The oblivious face of his friend Kirigin comes to mind. He smiles but his eyes may be more Sturmhold than Lanstov. He could say many things. That, as a King, any wife he may have must be advantageous for Ravka and Zoya doesn’t need the title for that. The same thing he said to Zoya- he couldn’t condemn a girl to live with a monster. Maybe even that Zoya was too busy, as was he, for romance.

“She’ll probably eat him alive” He says instead. Genya isn’t impressed, he can feel it without turning.

“Someone she loves? You don’t know her at all”

But he does.

And he knows.

(Nikolai is an expert liar and can make a blind man believe he can see. But it’s only with Zoya he lies to himself and he can’t believe it at all.)

He doesn’t say anything more, changing the topic smoothly to some issue Ravka is struggling with and Genya indulges him with a knowing light in her eye. He resists the urge to rip it off. The days, weeks, months pass as normally as ever, as if Genya never opened her mouth and Nikolai relaxes. He has too much to do to concern himself with romance anyway. Then he finds her crying in an abandoned, dark, dirty room and all his plan go to shit.

“What happened?” He is on her in an instant, hovering but not daring to touch because this Zoya is vulnerable. The image is so jarring his usually brilliant mind blanks out “Zoya.”

“Nothing” She’s herself again in an instant, using the sleeves of her kafta to dry her tears.

“I don’t believe you”

“Then don’t” She cuts him off, a warning clear in her eyes but Nikolai has never been one to listen to others or reason or warnings. Anything he didn’t want to hear, really. As a king, it’s very handy.

“Talk to me” He’s not begging but that was not an order. A request, maybe.

“This is my burden to bear. Don’t poke your royal crocket nose in my business”

“I will poke my royal perfect nose wherever I please. You’re not getting out of this with an explanation”

“We don’t have time for-”

“Zoya”

“It’s stupid”

“Somehow, I doubt that”

“...It’s girly”

“Believe or not, my masculinity does not tremble at girly girls”

“...Very very girly”

Nikolai gasps with the same melodrama of a fourteen-year-old girl messing around with her friends. “You broke a nail.” The act is completed by his hand in front of his mouth. Mainly because his lips are twitching and he’s not suicidal.

“I’ll break your face” She warns and Nikolai pouts

“We can’t afford that. My face is the last royal heirloom in all Ravka”

“We’ll starve this winter then, with such worthless treasure”

“Ruthless”

“Practical” She corrects, a smile dancing at the corner of her lips. It’s reluctant but there all the same. Nikolai is absurdly proud of it.

“Tell me, please”

“I” Zoya is already looking as if she regrets everything. Nikolai will enjoy this immensely, he can already tell “was having love troubles”

Nikolai has never been more wrong in his life. This is not enjoyable, it’s the opposite. In fact,-

“Bullshit” Thank the Saints for his brain. Saved again by logic.

“Yes, it’s true, laugh it up. The boy I like doesn’t like me back.”

“Bull-shit.” He repeats, the last council meeting clear in his mind. Zoya hadn’t had breakfast and had eaten an orange during it. “No man has ever rejected you”

It was a drooling disaster. She was just eating a fucking orange, for Saint’s sake. Didn’t even try to make it sexual. He’s surrounded by idiots who only listen to their libidos and he doesn’t know how many hits his pride can take before he loses it completely and makes a royal decree that forbids looking at Zola during meetings.

“You’ll be surprised” She snorts and it’s bitter. Nikolai curiosity perks like a bad weed. It’s unkillable and most likely to kill him one day.

“...Who?” He asks, torn between the need to know and the wish to never know “As your King, you have to tell me”

Zoya rolls her eyes so hard it’s a wonder they don’t fall off. But she will talk all the same and Nikolai feels giddy at it, for some reason.

“Well, firstly it was the Darkling who was the worst puppy love ever but it did happen.” Zoya says like it’s the weather and Nikolai has to repress a shudder.

“Gross.” He adds because he really is a child at heart, great ruler (and many other things) or not. What’s life without a little childishness anyway.

“Yes.” She confirms “Then it was Orestev”

“...Malyen Orestev? Hunting genius, mysterious third amplifier, and cousin a hundred times removed of the Darkling?” He has to check. He just has to. The man he met was so devoted to Alina that-

Nope. They kissed. He remembers now- he dearly regrets now ever looking from that window that day. Now he can’t unsee that forbidden image. Blast his curiosity. He’s no cat but it will kill him one day. He just knows it.

“Yup” She shrugs, as casual as ever. Nikolai, who is ever prepared for the unexpected, is not equipped to deal with this at all “At least I fucked that one”

At.

All.

“You have an awful taste in men. Just awful” He’s whining, fully aware of that fact and unable to stop. What a disaster “Wow. I did not expect you of all people to have this level of-”

“Shut it or die”

Wisely, Nikolai listens to the embarrassed Grisha.

“So, who is he now?”

...Nobody who actually knew Nikolai has ever called him wise and it’s for a very real reason. He fakes it, but wisdom does not come easily to him. Or ever.

“Someone I can’t have” Zoya shrugs casually. Nikolai frowns, utterly perplexed.

“You are aware of the many, many, many marriage proposals I have had to refuse in your name this past year, yes?”

“What?” Zoya blinks at him. No, she had no idea at all. Nikolai wouldn’t believe it if he was not seeing it. “I have not received any proposals”

Oh, Nikolai remembers now. He kind of started burning them a little while ago. And ordered the servants to bring all proposals to him. And forbid anyone to tell her- Okay. Maybe he has a problem here. Possibly. Genya may have a point too, but he will never tell her.

“...Well, now you know”

“Why did you reject them all?” She wonders aloud. Nikolai’s panic is a quiet thing, he merely smiles blandly while looking for exists or a distraction that is utterly out of hand at the moment and slowly loses the hope of escape this conversation “We need all the allies we can get” And the will to live, while he’s on it.

Now, how to explain this withou- He’ll just use a Tamar Rant instead. He has suffered through a lot of them as Sturmhold and he has always used whatever to defend his goals. He’s a thief at heart, after all

“You are no cattle to exchange favors from”

“...What?”

Oh, Nikolai apparently forgot that Tamar was not born at Ravka and the patriarchy in Shu Ham is so much worse. He also conveniently overlooked that he is not aamisogynistic ass and as the King what he says goes. And he will never be stupid enough to let someone as Zoya settle as a noble wife, of all things. What a waste of resources.

Nikolai hates waste of good resources even more than he hates the Darkling.

“I will not sell you like that” He tries again because Nikolai is nothing but committed.

“Excuse me?” Meanwhile, Zoya looks a remark away to commit murder. Considering that Zoya is just as stubborn as he is but with aggression instead of disarming overwhelming charm, Nikolai will proceed with Plan B.

“I need you as a Grisha more than I need any alliance”

“Why would I not keep my post as a married woman?” Zoya asks as if the question never occurred to her. It’s clear, in moments like these, that as much she can act like a noble (or even more superior, somehow) she was, in fact, not born as one.

Truly, an innovative notion.

“...No reason” He laughs nervously “Anyway, so who’s he? He must be very high on the social pyramid or very low, to make you think that” Zoya raises an eyebrow, unimpressed “Very high, definitively. You are also not the kind to have the whole starcrossed lover things with an enemy”

“One day I’m going to strangle Nina Zenik with my own hands because her stupidity will drive me to it”

“Drastic. Us Fjerdians are not so bad, I’ll let you know. Very handsome, very handy”

“You are Ravkian” She raises one single brow and it’s devastating

“...So I am” Why does he has to tell Zoya all his secrets without noticing, anyway? It seems like a huge oversight on his part. “So a high noble then. But I had dukes and counts ask for your hand and you’re not blind to their interest-”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore” She interrupts and triumph is so close Nikolai can already taste it. Then his brilliant stupid brain connects the final pieces and it promptly shuts down after its conclusion.

Because there’s only a man high enough and close enough to Zoya to awake actual feelings from her, not just lust. Because there’s only one person someone as ambitious and driven as Zoya will admit she can’t have and-

“It’s me, isn’t it?” He asks softly. Zoya stares right into his eyes.

“No” She doesn’t blink, doesn’t look away, doesn’t give away anything and Nikolai knows either way

She’s lying.

“It is me” He repeats and he can see the exact moment vulnerability rises and dies in Zoya’s face. He takes a step closer to her. She steps back, then forward to meet him, chin raised in defiance. ‘You won’t break me’ it says ‘I dare you to try’

Nikolai is kissing her before he knows it, damn the consequences. She kisses him back as if she will devour him if he’s not careful. Nikolai vaguely remembers Kirgin’s words, his dreamy uninformed ‘but what a way to go’ and maybe he agrees.

Then he bites her lip because fuck going anywhere he is exactly where he wants to be. She makes a mewling nose and Nikolai stops thinking to start feeling.

Her hair in his fingers, soft and dense and a lot more tangled that he imagined it-

Her hands in his neck, in his back, in his ass, massaging and scratching and grabbing as if she couldn’t have enough of him-

The whisper of teeth against him, unexpectedly gentle, her unusually sharp canines scraping his tongue, the soft coffee flavored lips moving and sucking-

Her legs around his lips, bucking and trashing and rubbing in all the right places-

Her kafta, a mess on his feet, almost tripping him-

Skin, the taste of her neck, perfume and sweat and something Zoya-

The sounds she makes, unintentional and genuine, the shiver on his back and the air leaving him in a gasp-

Her lips, red and sinful, slowly surrounding his cursed finger, one by one with eyes full of promises and wicked things-

Her, from all sides, surrounding him, suffocating him. His lungs full for the first time in forever, his mouth trying to breathe her in-

They end a mess on the floor, his limbs mixed with her, their clothes rumpled and hastily thrown away on the floor, chests heaving, cheeks rosy, satisfaction relaxing their limbs in puddles. Nikolai kind of wishes to roll over her and start all over again. He tries to but falls back. Maybe he’ll try again when he regains control of his legs

“This did not happen” Zoya is the one who breaks the silence, breathes still irregular but voice firm. It’s an order, so sure it makes him almost pay attention, fit for a queen and Nikolai is not usually this foolish

“Okay” He agrees carelessly, turning his head so he can look at her. She looks torn between hurt, satisfaction, and rage. It’s cute  “I was thinking about May, with the flowers in bloom. Here at the Little Palace”

“Wha-?” He has never seen her this confused and he can’t help but laugh, the sound free and easy. It’s been too long since he has felt like this.

“Our wedding of course!” He declares with as much pomp as he can manage

“Our-” Oops, it looks like rage is winning on Zoya’s emotional scuffle. this will probably be painful. Nikolai can’t wait “What are you talking about? I’m not marrying you!”

“Well, not now. I still have to propose and all but you will” He says as if it’s easy or simple or an universal truth. Like the grass is green and the sky blue and Zoya Nazyalensky will marry Nikolai Lanstov this spring. “Do you prefer July, then?”

Zoya throws a paperweight at him and it hurts. His exuberant grin does not falter for a single second. She throws the other paperweight and this one he narrowly avoids. It was straight to his face

“What game do you think you’re playing?” Her whisper is the last thing a lot of fools have heard and Nikolai Lanstov is no fool.

“Don’t be daft, we’re not playing anything” Nikolai Lanstov is also too involved making chaotic plans at the moment to listen to reason. Or Zoya. Or his self-preservation instincts. “Anyway, I think Genya and David should be the first to know- after Tamar and Tolya, of course, but they don’t count. We’ll twist this in Court to our advantage, shouldn’t be that difficult and-”

“You can’t marry me!” Zoya raises her voice. It’s shrill and a little scary but nothing new to Nikolai

“Watch me, dear” He says without paying attention “I think a little Ceremony will be best, nothing too opulent. We probably should let Kilgrin organize him, very supervised, he’s got a lot of practice in this kind of thing over the years-”

And Nikolai can’t continue because a very naked, very distracting Zoya has just straddled him, his hand caught in a vice-like grip upside his head.

“What.” She snarls right next to his face, eyes screaming murder “Do you think you are doing?”

“Weell...” He drawls, trying and failing not to smile at her cute, scrunched nose “when two people love each other very much-”

Her scream of rage it’s a thing of beauty. He can see the entire country of Fjerda trembling under the sheer force of her anger.

“We can’t marry each other” She snarls again, face falling from ‘Furious but not really trying to Maim’ to ‘Even your ashes will be destroyed.’ Normally, he would run now, aware of the danger of her temper. But he’s quite comfortable where he is, having all of her focused on him.

He’s probably a masochist.

“Why not? You’ll be a great queen”

“That’s obvious” Zoya rolls her eyes, more relaxed for some reason. It’s probably the bragging that does it “You know why we can’t”

“I can and will do a lot of things for Ravka” Nikolai concedes “Just not this time”

“We desperately need allies”

“I can charm them without a ring or a bed” He grins his best king smile to ilustrate his point. Zoya doesn’t blink at it. She’s hard to impress.

“We are at the brink of another war”

“All the better for marrying a general”

“You don’t love me” Zoya passes a hand through her hair. It gets tangled in the mess of it. Saints, she’s gorgeous “This- this thing is just pent up lust, sexual tension, I don’t know but not-” She’s nervous, moving this way or the other. Almost uncomfortable. It’s unseetling in someone like her “You don’t love me” She repeats, more like herself.

“But I do” He says softly. Zoya averts her eyes.

“What for? My personality?” She snarks at him and Nikolai laughs because she’s blushing like a school girl

“I was surprised too.” He kisses her, a soft caress. He can feel the moment she smiles “Marry me?” He repeats

“Okay” She agrees, just as softly.

“Yeah?” He asks again because apparently, this is what three rejected marriage proposals do to him. Ugh, insecurity.

“Don’t beg, it’s unbecoming” She’s back at her mean self and Nikolai couldn’t be happier. He lifts his eyebrows playfully

“Round two?”

“You wish” Zoya gets up, completely unashamed of her nakedness. Nikolai watches her “Get up, royal bum, we have a busy day ahead of us”

“Don’t call me royal bum, call me something sweet and loving”

“My sun and my stars, arrow of my heart, move your fucking ass”

Saints, does Nikolai love that woman.