raccoon-james

[raccoon-james]

polycules of five or more should be organized like special operations squads. you have a commander you have sexual tension with. You have the sexy one. You have one with glasses. You know what I don’t know enough about squads i think

[raccoon-james]

Happiness Will Come To You.

[raccoon-james]

[raccoon-james]

this pride month im coming out as a furry stoner

[raccoon-james]

*checks watch* oh uh...sure. I mean. I'm literally here to kill you, but like. You can show me your minecraft house if you really want... let's have a look then

[raccoon-james]

St.-Matthäus-Kirchhof Cemetery in Schöneberg, Berlin, Germany

[raccoon-james]

escaped medical leech

[raccoon-james]

obsessed with this interaction

[raccoon-james]

im such a man who leans in doorways. relaxes against the counter. drapes across a couch. sprawls over an armchair. my spine isnt straight and by god neither am i.

[raccoon-james]

[raccoon-james]

normalize reblogging fanart for media u never consumed. girl idk who that is i see a pretty image i hit a button

[raccoon-james]

do you love the colour of the basilosaurus

[raccoon-james]

oh so now I’m “gay” just because I have a lot of gay thoughts and gay feelings?

[raccoon-james]

apologies to anyone who ever thought i was cool and reached out to me only to discover i am just a weird little hermit who can’t carry on a conversation to save my life

[raccoon-james]

Things I’ve Learned

- don’t drink water in the dark

- don’t look out windows at night

- if you feel it watching don’t look for it just hurry on your way, but to be safe if you feel running for some reason would insult This One then don’t

- take only dead wood from forests, fallen berries and flowers are safe too, the living things are Not For You

- NEVER stomp on the mushrooms

- stay on the animal paths

- leave an offering in the woods to be left in peace during your walks

- the hills and fields may seem open and empty but They Never Are

- listening to the wind is fine but you should never reply to it, if you feel it shift it’s time to go

- if your dog won’t go near it neither should you

- if It’s in your room then shut your eyes or otherwise don’t acknowledge It, It will eventually lose interest

- ghosts can and will lie to you

- don’t give anything your full name

- if you feel weak, don’t rest - leave

- your shadow doesn’t always belong to you

- check your seats before entering your vehicle, do not look back for ANYTHING after

- better yet keep things in your seats

- generally if you suddenly feel you shouldn’t look in a certain direction, be in a certain place, or do a certain thing then please trust your gut

[raccoon-james]

I’m craving some Nadja & Guillermo bonding in England next season.

[raccoon-james]

Anxiety: That sentence is the wor-

Me: Shakespeare is crying with envy as we speak.

Anxiety: You haven’t developed your backstory enou-

Me: The mystery. The intrigue. So intense even I’m not sure what happened.

Anxiety: You’re just copying all of your favorite tropes and clich-

Me: An incredible combination of all the best things in fiction. A testimony to human creativity. The paragon of prose. *blows kisses*