#but hey. here ya go. silly dialogue.

[hana-bobo-finch]

OK THIS TOOK WAY TOO LONG BC I KEPT GETTING DISTRACTED BUT UH. THIS SHOULD BE ALL OF THE RESCUE CORPS (+ koppaite trio) ON-BASE CASUAL DIALOGUE IN P4!!

basically all of the dialogue from the “let’s chat” option (except for a few lines that are triggered by completing tasks but uh. Whatever)

[almostempty]

What’s Love Got to Do with It

(oberyn x f!reader)  wc: 4.6k | other fics 

note: hey y’all it’s me ya gurl, here to defile another prompt with a silly idea <3 Sooo, from the three brain cells that brought you fuckboy!joel and divorced dad rock dilf!joel 🫡i now humbly present …. Frat bro Oberyn, Aka The Red Viper, aka the Prince of Pong, aka the Slut of Delta Psi (i did steal the frat name from the film Neighbors—in which they do sing a line from Creed in their frat chant, so in some twisted way, they’re kind of all connected right??) 

I fear this may have just been funny to me so feel free to skip, but thank you to everyone who tolerates my shenanigans <3. 

ANYWAY, The lovely @baronessvonglitter bestowed upon me Oberyn x What’s Love Got to Do with It for fucktober (happy belated bday babe) but naturally, i made it weird. Thanks to @sunshinehaze1 for reminding me that modern AUs exist when I got scared of the GOT universe and to @auterdelabre for reminding me that the answer is always fuckboy. Don’t blame them for anything else.

Summary: You attend a fraternity toga party, and you catch the eye of Delta Psi’s notorious Red Viper. He shows you how he got the nickname and then he shows you something else he’s known for. 

tags/warnings: explicit 18+ smut, alcohol/partying, gratuitous flirting, piv, fuckboy behavior aka on to the next one, infidelity, i couldn’t bring myself to write his dialogue in frat bro™ –aka i didn’t fully commit to the bit bc that man just had to be smooth and had to fuck no matter what universe i put him in, apologies if that ruins your immersion in my pwp, per usual: no y/n, f!reader is able bodied otherwise no specifics, unprotected piv as if it’s no biggie because it’s fiction (don’t do that irl), no beta/limited proofreading sorry for all mistakes 

“Oh my god, that’s him!” Your best friend shouts into your ear as you walk down the sidewalk. You blend into the sea of toga-clad college kids, sandals slapping against the pavement. Liv leans on you, pointing out the guy she’s talking about. You can hear the music pouring out into the street and people inside yelling and chanting over someone doing a keg stand or something equally as exciting and alcohol-related, you assume. 

The guy she pointed out is leaning casually against the banister, letting some ripped blond dude entertain him on the porch. “That’s the guy your roommate was talking about?” you question your friend. Liv agrees with a smile as you walk towards the front steps. 

Everyone else on the porch looks like a frat bro wrapped in a wrinkly bedsheet, but for some reason, he seems almost godlike. He’s luminous under the warm lights. As if he knew you were checking him out, he turns his head just as you walk past, and his eyes sweep over you, making your face hot. Something sparks between you before he turns away, taking a swig of his drink. 

Liv had given you a rundown on what to expect at your first Delta Psi party. You had argued that you knew what college parties were like. You transferred this quarter as a senior, and you just didn’t have Greek life at your other school or your best friend to convince you to go out. But now, you’re here, dressed up and entering a party that really does feel a little more intense than the ones back at your small-town university. 

Liv’s roommate had given you the rundown on the guys she knew in the fraternity, but you didn’t pay much attention to her descriptions. You figured there was no way a Brad, Dylan, Connor, or a Brent would actually be hot. And then, when she started with the ones with nicknames, you completely checked out after Viper and Rooster. It has to defy the laws of nature for a frat bro that goes by Rooster to be able to find your clit—even if he IS hot. 

Yet, now you realize you might be eating your words because you get it. You were too quick to judge, whoops. “Which one was that?” you ask in Liv’s ear as you both make your way through the people sloshing drinks and dancing. 

“Viper!” 

You can’t help the immediate grimace that emerges on your face. “That’s so douchey!” you shout back over the noise before she pulls you down a hall toward that kitchen. She leans in close to your ear, telling you that her roommate swears she got the best head of her life from him. “No fucking way,” you argue. 

“Way,” she smirks back. “He’s got a girlfriend now, though. They’re, like, totally in love, it’s all over social media.” She mocks puking at the idea, and you share a laugh.

You explore the party together. The house is huge; one room on the main floor is blasting EDM, and another is blasting top 40 hits. There are a couple of beer pong tables in the backyard and a detached garage filled with stoners on old couches giggling to themselves. You know that Liv is itching to park her ass on one of those sofas and find a girl or guy to whom she can woo with her French inhale and makeout with for the rest of the night. 

But, she’s a loyal ass bitch who wouldn’t abandon you. You circle back through the house. You spend a little while dancing together and taking your time to see if there’s anyone else who catches your eye. Nobody really sticks out to you in the first room until you catch his eyes again. You have to do a double-take as you circle your waist and roll your body against Liv. 

He’s semi-shrouded in the corner; with the dim lighting and the packed house, it would be easy to miss the two of them altogether. But when the girl clinging to him turns around to grind her ass against him, he locks eyes with you, and you swear that fucker winks at you before a group of girls prance into the room, shouting oh my god, it’s our song! You try to shake it off. You were definitely just seeing things with the lights. 

You signal to Liv, and she follows you into the other room. You dance together a bit longer. She offers you a swig from her rhinestone-encrusted flask, but you turn her down, staying sober tonight. You feel euphoric enough with the strobe lights and the thrumming bass from the EDM remixes blasting in the room. 

You turn down a few wasted white dudes who try to dance up on the two of you. Too drunk. Not your type. Too handsy. You’re not afraid to punch a man in the throat or the nuts if they don’t get the hint, but they back off when you give them a gentle shove and a shake of your head. The most recent suitor is turning and scoping for another girl to approach when you see him again. 

He’s moving towards you, looking right at you, but there’s no girl on his arm–or crotch, now. For some reason, it makes you feel too hot. You’re sweating from the dancing anyway, so you ignore the electric look in his eye that makes your clit twitch and grab Liv’s arm to make a dash for the backyard to get some fresh air. 

You debrief with each other and come to an agreement. You tell Liv to do her thing, urging her to head towards the couch with the skater dude wearing the toga made from a dinosaur patterned sheet and the high-top vans. She agrees to text you if she plans to relocate or wants to leave before you finish taking another lap around the party. 

You sort of lie to her, claiming someone inside caught your eye. They did, but you aren’t planning to do anything about it. Instead, you part ways and head back through the house, past the pledge posing as a bouncer at the front door, and onto the front porch. The music is still loud, but it’s quieter out front. People still trickle in and out of the party. You stare out at the night sky, searching for the moon. In your own little world, you’re basking in your own peace. 

“I haven’t seen you here before,” a rich, velvety voice washes over your shoulder. It should make you jerk away, give you goosebumps, and raise your hackles. But, instead, the interruption stirs liquid heat in your core and makes your nipples hard. Because it’s him. 

You turn your head and confirm. He’s so close to you. 

“You know every girl here?” you challenge him. 

“I know the ladies and gentlemen that pique my curiosity,” his voice is so smooth. He’s a charmer, for sure. He offers you a drink, holding out two plastic cups in one hand. The size of his hand does make you tingly, but his smile falters when you shoot him one of your signature dirty looks. 

Before he can ask about the look, you take one of the cups, give him a cloyingly sweet smile, and pour it out over the railing into the grass below. The tail of his brow quirks, and he gives you a sly smile that widens into a grin and a full-chested laugh. “Oops,” you mock. 

“You’re a bold woman,” he muses, “I like that.” 

He doesn’t back down after you toss out his drink. He doesn’t take it as a rejection. He understands when you explain you don’t take open drinks from strangers at a frat party, but you roll your eyes hard when he gloats about not needing tricks or drugs to find a lover. 

He banters with you as he downs the remaining drink. He’s quick, with sharp wit and a devious smile. You can’t keep your eyes off his exposed chest, his arms, his neck, his eyes. It’s still confusing how he can look so regal, whereas everyone else in the party looks a little…goofy? Cliche? He pulls you back to the present, asking for your name before he gives you his. 

“They call me ‘the Red Viper,’” he gives you a provocative grin like he knows exactly how hot he looks, even with a bedsheet draped over his shoulder. 

You play into his hand, “Is that some kinda of euphemism?” Feeding his ego with a suggestive arch of your brow. Maybe you’re bold, but you don’t think he’s the type to be deterred by a confident woman. In fact, it seems to make him glow even brighter.

His voice lowers, dripping with an enticing challenge, “Are you looking to find out?” he asks. 

His jaw quirks, and you’re mesmerized watching him suck at his lower lip. It looks so perfectly plump and kissable, curling into a smirk as his eyes gleam with mischief. “Come,” he beckons for you to follow him deeper into the party. 

“I thought you had a girlfriend,” you say stiffly, remembering what Liv had said as you walked in. He looks at you curiously before shaking his head lightly. 

“You mean Cora? From earlier? She’s not my girlfriend. We were just dancing.” 

“No,” you shake your head, “I heard it’s all over social media. That you’re loved up.” 

“Oh, so you’ve heard of me?” he gives you that cocky smile that absolutely shouldn’t work but somehow makes you feel warm like you’re laying on the warm sand on a beach listening to the waves crashing. You don’t say anything else, and he leans in a little closer, “What’s love got to do with it?” he asks huskily. Dangerously. 

It makes you shudder with something warm and twisted. 

“Now,” he guides you gently but firmly, “Come.” You need him to stop saying it like an order before you do. 

You let him walk you through the party. Weaving through the boisterous crowds. They part easily for him, clearing a path like he’s royalty. 

“They call me ‘the Red Viper’ because I’m lethal at any game involving a red Solo cup.” He murmurs it into your ear like it’s a sexy secret. 

You laugh brightly at that, giving him a gentle shove. “That’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard!” 

He gives you a coy shrug. “It’s the truth.” He leads you into the backyard, towards the beer pong tables. “I’ll show you,” he says just for you to hear. The string lights illuminate the yard in soft light; however, the mood is anything but romantic, with the drunk cheering college kids taking their drinking games very seriously. 

You watch, amused, as one team high-fives each other over their trick shot. At another table, both teams heatedly argue about “house rules.” 

“It’s the prince of pong!” one of his fraternity brothers shouts across the lawn. He gives you the most dramatic I told you so glance, and you mouth “lame” back at him. He calls ‘next game,’ and as if he were their lord, one table immediately clears out, forfeiting in a demonstration of fealty. 

“Ladies first,” he offers once he’s set up all the cups to his liking. He’s so arrogant about it, and it shouldn’t turn you on, but it absolutely does. 

You grin across the table at him. “You’re on.” 

He’s merciful at first. You land a few cups, giving you enough confidence to talk shit and tease him. But it rapidly becomes apparent that he’s a man of his word as he easily picks off every cup on your end of the table with precision.  

Despite your rapid descent towards a loss, you eat up his charm. His magnetic energy. He makes the rest of the party disappear when he looks at you. It makes your heart tingle and your pussy flutter. He’s a gracious winner, only gloating a little as he reracks the table and offers it up to other party-goers. 

“Alright, Viper, you won. You can retain your title.” You admit defeat as he slinks up close to you, ushering you along to the side of the house, only a few steps away but more secluded from the rest of the party. 

“And now, will you allow me to claim my prize?” he asks in his smoky, deep voice. 

Despite his clear intentions, you feign confusion as he wraps one wide hand around your waist and tilts your chin towards his face with the other. “I didn’t know we were playing for stakes,” you smile brashly. Your skin blazes under his touch and his seductive gaze as his eyes drop to your mouth. 

He starts to dip towards you, but you swerve away from him. It’s on the tip of your tongue to ask again if he’s in a relationship. He growls softly, almost a purr, next to your ear. “What’s wrong, my lady?” he murmurs. The intimacy of it is heady, and your surroundings fade. 

You want to take whatever he’s offering, no questions, so instead you whisper, “Tell me your real name.”

He sighs softly before giving in and telling you his name. 

“Oberyn,” you repeat back, “that’s unique.” 

He starts muttering about how he’s an international student, but you’ve got all the info you needed. Now you don’t have to add a guy named Viper to your mental list of hookups. 

“I like it,” you cut him off before slotting your mouth against his and making up for ducking out of his last attempt at a kiss with your eagerness. He wraps his arm around you, and you’re transported. One large hand presses against your lower back, urging your hips toward his, and the other cradles your jaw, giving you a sense of stability as he matches your ferocity. 

You briefly wonder if you’d have melted if he wasn’t holding you so tightly before your thoughts are consumed by the sensation of his lips against yours and his tongue running along yours. It’s not a kiss you would’ve expected from a frat guy. It’s romantic and passionate, and you feel your body rolling against his, caught up in the sensation and intensity. 

You keep going, letting yourself enjoy the moment, eating up the flavor of him, the scent of him, and the throbbing intensifying between your legs. You slip one of your hands along the back of his neck into his soft hair, and he groans into your mouth. It makes your knees weak. 

You chase his mouth as he pulls back and looks into your heavy-lidded eyes. Sharing the hot air between you, it feels like a current is looping through your bodies, buzzing with need. 

“Let’s go upstairs,” he urges in a gravelly whisper. You can feel him hardening against you. His hand on your back is firm, keeping you flush, pelvis to pelvis, making you nearly dizzy. However, his hand on your jaw is gentle, brushing his thumb along your cheek sweetly. You still can’t help goading just a little. 

“What for?” you ask playfully. 

“To fuck.” 

It makes your cheeks hot. Maybe there should be red flags popping up in your mind, but you don’t care. He likes a bold woman, and you like a direct man. 

“Unless you’d rather do it in the grass here,” he tilts his head toward the ground. You act like you’re considering the option seriously, making him laugh before he releases you from his arms. “Don’t tease,” he says with a severe look, “It wouldn’t bother me.” 

Me either, you consider before deciding not to say that part aloud. You tell him to take you to a real bed, and he does. Swiftly guiding you into the house and up the stairs, past the pledge guarding the rooms, and into his bedroom. He spins around, pinning you against the door for another searing kiss. It’s more urgent this time. He’s quickly moving to your neck, trailing open-mouthed kisses down your tender skin as you both greedily run your hands along each other’s bodies. 

Before you can get your hands under his toga, he’s detaching from you and sinking to his knees. He moves efficiently, bunching up your toga and asking you to hold it. Then he’s hovering his hot mouth over your mound before kissing you over your lacey panties. 

“Mmm,” he hums into you and traces the crease of your thighs with one hand, following the line until he’s softly running his fingers along the edge of your panties, the tips of his fingers barely dipping beneath the hem as he moves towards your core. You watch, staring down with your mouth parted as he holds your gaze. 

He teases you, running his fingertips along your seam over the soaked fabric, tapping and teasing at your swollen clit through the fabric as he watches your needy expression morph into frustration. You shift, spreading your legs wider, but he stops you with a large hand on each thigh. 

“Hold still,” he orders, and you feel compelled to listen. He pulls your underwear down and off of you, then hooks one of your legs over his shoulder, spreading your cunt open. “That’s better.” 

You can’t tell if he’s talking to himself or to you. You don’t have a chance to ask before he’s burying his face into your soft, wet pussy. Your breath hitches at the sensation and one of your hands flies out to grab at the door frame to steady you, while the other one digs into Oberyn’s hair. 

He’s unbothered by your dramatics. Oberyn moves with enthusiasm, drawing his tongue along your slit and pressing into your sex with his jaw. His facial hair tickles at your tender skin deliciously and his nose grazes over your clit as if his face were molded to maximize your pleasure. He changes his strategy, mouthing at your clit and sweeping his tongue over it like he’s making out with it, with the same passion that he kissed you with outside and a moment ago. 

You can feel it starting to build. Your hip flexors straining and thighs starting to tremble as your breathing gets quicker and more shallow. Closer and closer and closer. He’s perceptive and diligent. Repeating the same tricks that make you moan and dig your fingers into his hair. 

You’re stuck on the precipice, so close but not quite there. Your eyes roam around the dimly lit room, the bed, the bookshelf, the tapestry pinned to the wall, the collection of cologne bottles lined up on the desk, the mirror on top of the desk–pointing right at the bed. 

It starts to frustrate you. Not the decor choices, but the tension and the building pressure. You squirm slightly, hoping the smallest adjustment will somehow bring everything into a sharper focus. You let your eyes close, letting the roar of the party downstairs fade, focusing on the pressure and warmth of Oberyn’s mouth. 

More, more, more. 

It’s all you can think as Oberyn stays dedicated to getting you off on his tongue. He sucks firmly at your clit before releasing you with a slick sound. He hovers, mouth fanning warm air over your core looking up at you. His eyes are lit with hunger.  

“More?” he asks in his deep, rich voice. 

You can’t tell if you were chanting out loud or if he’s somehow reading your mind. “Please,” you respond with a needy edge, “more.” You catch the sparkle in his eye and the flash of a grin. He works you up again, towards the brink, relishing in your responses as you whine with need as he resumes holding you in a purgatory of pleasure.

Mercifully, he does give you more. Oberyn grips your thigh with one hand, steadying you, while he swipes two fingers along the length of your pussy once, twice, coating them in your arousal before plunging them inside of you. The increased pressure and friction from his fingers pumping into you causes you to moan. It’s a lower register than your breathy panting from earlier, layered with satisfaction as you can feel the anticipation starting to crest. 

“Don’t stop,” you beg, “I’m so close.” 

He doesn’t stop, groaning at your words, rumbling against you. That snaps the tension and you cry out his name and a string of curses as your orgasm hits. He doesn’t slow down when your cunt contracts around his fingers and he doesn’t lose focus when you shake and writhe against mouth. Not until you’re pulling him off of you, oversensitive and wrung out.  

Oberyn stands, wiping at his chin before pulling you in close for another breathtaking kiss. He walks you back toward the bed and you fall into it, pulling him with you. You tangle together, frantically, you want him inside of you now. He laughs softly against your hot neck, sensing your frustration. 

“Shh,” he murmurs as you huff with defeat. He moves deftly, braced over you with one arm, and freeing his cock with the other. Your hands stroke up and down his shoulders and back, and you hook one leg around his hip, encouraging him. “You want me to fuck you now?” he asks and you whisper a yes that turns into a gasp as he runs his tip through your soaked center. “And how do you want it?”

“Hard.” 

“Yeah,” he agrees, sinking into you deeper and deeper, and pulling back, all the way out, then all the way in. “Fuck,” he says to himself as he sets a quick pace, slaming his hips into yours making the bedframe creak with every thrust. If the noise from the party didn’t drown everything else out, you might be embarrassed to have strangers over hear, but you would be surprised if anyone could hear a thing. And, even if you were louder than the party, you could care less about being caught as Oberyn fucks you into the mattress. 

“Harder,” you goad him, hoping for more. To your horror he pulls out of you completely, but you swiftly find yourself flipped onto your stomach as he lifts your hips and enters you from behind. You press back, meeting his thrusts, bouncing off of his hips until he presses his palm between your shoulder blades. He forces your chest into the mattress, holding you still so he can fuck you like he means it, with enough force that all you can do brace yourself and ball your fists, twisting the bedding between your fingers. 

With your cheek against the bed you can watch your reflection in the mirror. It’s hot, even with your togas draped and bunched up, you look good together. It makes you grin. He catches you looking and turns, meeting your eyes in the mirror before watching your bodies. He grips your hips firmly and you can barely keep your eyes open to watch as he continues. 

He overwhelms you with his stamina, keeping up a pace that has your mind feeling blissfully fuzzy. He says something else before folding over you and slipping his hand around towards your clit, determined to feel you come around his cock. You’re so close already, it’s only a moment, a few more thrusts, before shuddering beneath him. He tries to fuck you through it, but you clench and constrict around him so tightly that he pulls out while you’re still moaning. 

You can hear the slick wet sounds as he strokes himself, cursing under his breath again, before you feel the warmth as he comes across the swell of your ass and your fluttering cunt. You sink, dropping your hips and relaxing onto the bed while he catches his breath. Oberyn squeezes at your thighs, offering praise you don’t quite hear, then he’s slipping off the bed. He cleans you up with a towel, but you remain still for a little longer, enjoying the satisfaction and the sweet ache from the intensity. 

“Take your time,” he tells you, leaning down to press a kiss to your shoulder. It’s gentle. You murmur a thanks at him before breaking into an airy giggle. It makes your ribcage shake, bouncing slightly on the mattress, realizing that Liv is going to die when you tell her you can confirm her roommates story. Oberyn doesn’t question your reaction. 

He pauses to readjust his toga and his hair in the mirror. Once seemingly satisfied, he turns back towards you, watching you sit up. “I’ll see you out there,” he says with a smile before he slips out of the room. 

You linger for just a little. Allowing yourself the privacy to revel in the sweet satisfaction of the post-sex chemicals flowing through your body. You let yourself grin while you check your phone to see where Liv is at. 

You take another minute, using the mirror to fix your own appearance, aiming for a slightly less obvious version of I just got railed, before meeting your own eyes. For a sobering second you remember you didn’t get a real answer about if he has a girlfriend. He sure as fuck doesn’t act like it, you decide. You shake off the thought. 

He might be a frat bro, he might be a piece of shit, all you know for sure is that he is hot, a good kisser, and he knew how to make you come. Three things you didn’t think you’d find in one guy under this roof. You give yourself a final onceover before heading out of the room and down the stairs. 

You don’t see Oberyn in the first few rooms you pass. You keep looking; he couldn’t have gone far. You’re barely finished that thought when you spot him in the kitchen. The sight makes you stumble, shooting a hand out to the wall to catch your balance. 

He’s leaning casually, with his hip against the counter, as a starry-eyed girl looks up at him, giggling flirtatiously, as she lays a hand along his bicep. 

It’s in slow motion. The way he looks at her hand, the way his eyes trail along her arm, over the curve of her breasts, and down her legs before flitting back to her face with that same sinful smirk you just fell for. 

Your shoulders drop. It’s not like you were planning your wedding or that you even thought a date was on the table—but you didn’t think he’d be on to the next girl before you made it down the stairs. 

You start to recenter yourself, reaching to check your phone again before you look for Liv. 

He sees you before you can mind your business and plan your next move. Catching your eye through the doorway. Before you can formulate a reaction, you’re stuck, held in his gaze. He winks at you again, only this time there’s no question if you were making it up. He winked at you and despite everything, it makes your whole body tingle. 

“I saw that!” Liv shouts into your ear, wrapping an arm around you. “You have to tell me what the fuck that was about. But first can we please get pancakes or cheese fries?”

You don’t bother turning back for a second glance as you follow Liv toward the front door. 

You must understand though the touch of your hand

Makes my pulse react

That it's only the thrill of boy meeting girl

Opposites attract

It's physical

Only logical

You must try to ignore that it means more than that

Oh, oh, oh

What's love got to do, got to do with it?

…..

tags for babes, but no presh:

@lovely-vamp-princess

@gothcsz

@auteurdelabre

@adoreyouusugar

@swankyorange

@itwasntimethatdidit40

@ivoryandflame

@magneticecstasy 

[ordinaryschmuck]

David Zaslav is on the phone as he enters his office.

David: It's nothing personal, it's just business. But don't worry, once another buyer offers eighty million, you'll have your property back. Okay? Okay. Goodbye, Mom. Love you.

He hangs up and notices a package left on his desk.

David: Huh. That's peculiar.

He walks over and sees that it's addressed to him. With a shrug, he opens it up.

*WHACK*!

And gets hits in the face with a springy boxing glove.

***

A burlap sack is ripped off David's head. He looks around and sees he's in a form of a warehouse, with the only light being the shining above him. In the shadows, he hears a crunch of somekind.

???: Eh, *tsk-tsk* What's up, Doc?

Out from the shadows comes Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Yosemite Sam, and even Foghorn Leghorn. They do NOT look happy.

David: Who...Who ARE you? WHAT are you?

Sam: OOOOOOOOOOOH!

He pulls out his guns.

Sam: Now I KNOW y'all didn't just say that you--

Bugs waves a hand in front of Sam.

Bugs: It's okay, Sammy Boy. Can't blame da poor, dumb, foolish suckah. (To David) Do ya know who Mickey Mouse is, Doc?

David: Is...that who you are?

Daffy: Doeth he look like a MOUTHE, you buffoon?!

Bugs: Daf. (To David) Mickey's the mascot of Disney, YOUR competitor. Fer bettah or woise, he represents da company. And to dis day is the backbone dat made Disney what it is. As for me and my compatriots, dat's who WE are for Warner Brudders.

David: I-I'm the CEO of Warner Brothers DISCOVERY.

Foghorn: Which is, I say, which is the result of merging with WARNER BROTHERS, ya dumb pig! No offense, Pork.

Porky: N-N-No-No-No offense taken.

Bugs: (To David) Ya see, Doc, we're da Looney Tunes. Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Foghorn Leghorn, and Yosemite Sam. Ya see, while Walter was makin' the mouse dat would rule the world wid a goofy cartoon mouse that entertained the kiddies, we's was making some CLASS. Cartoons dat dee adults AND kids could appreciate, wid witty dialogue and cartoonish slapstick. Me and Daf, here? We made bank off a short where we discussed who got shot by Elmer Fudd, where da joke was ALWAYS Daffy getting hit.

Daffy: Took a lot of shotth to make that comedy gold. LIterally.

Bugs: And it worked. Wid a poifect simple premise dat people always remember, wid people going "Wabbit Season, Duck Season" to dis day. Dat's who we are, Doc...And ya messed it all up.

Sam: Ya messed with the WRONG pardners, Davie!

David: H-How? How did I mess with you?!

Bugs: Hey, don't feel too bad. Warner Brudders' have been messing wid us for years, but we always took it on the chin. Dey want us to do TWO basketball movies? Dey want us to get rid of Pepe Le Pew? Why not. He stunk anyway and we wanted him out for years. Dey want our iconic image for an animated sitcom? We did it. 'Cause we're da Looney Tunes. We can sell ANYTHING.

Porky: I-I-I actually l-l-li-lo-li-lo--Really enjoyed the sitcom.

Bugs: Okay, it can be argued dat da sitcom is criminally underrated, but dat's besides the point. What I'm getting at is dat we're willing ta sell anything just as long as we get some of dat green ourselves. But ya made a mistake, Doc. Ya see, you went after one of our own.

He makes a "come here" gesture, and both Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner come out from the shadows as well, with Road Runner comforting the Coyote.

Bugs: Pepe Le Pew is one thing. We understand that his sense of humor doesn't fit well wid dis day and age. But Wile? Oh brudder, why did ya have to mess wid him?

David: What did I do to him?!

Bugs: Coyote Vs. ACME. Ringin' any bells?

David: That...movie no one wants to buy?

Bugs: A movie ya overselled for a quick buck. A movie dat people worked night and day on. A movie written by James Gunn, yer golden boy who you have fixin' yer DC franchise.

Foghorn: Which is, I say, which is a whole DIFFERENT can a worms.

Bugs, ignoring him: A movie dat stars our very own Wile E. Coyote. A character who's toons and silly antics are timeless and, I'll admit, makes bank better than me. Wit no dialogue, just expressions and goofy signs, him and da Road Runner are characters where the possibility is limited by da power of imagination. And a movie where he sues ACME over their failed gadgets? Well, I'd watch that. Wouldn't you, boys?

The others all murmur in agreement.

David: Well, it might not make a profit--

Bug: Space Jam 2 made TWICE of what yer trying ta sell Wile's movie for. Ya would think that a man desperate to make money would release a film featuring their most iconic brand to get him MORE money. But, no, that's what a GOOD business man would do.

David: Please! I-It wasn't anything personal! I didn't even WATCH the movie!

The Tunes all stare at him.

Bugs: ...Ya didn't WATCH it?

David: N-No?

Bugs: You were willing to sell, shelve, and even DELETE a movie from existence because ya don't think it won't make a profit. Except ya nevah THOUGHT ta watch it yerself and make yer judgment?

David: ...Running a business is REALLY hard--

Bugs: You MAROON. You marooniest maroon that's ever marooned. I can't even comprehend how not only did you get yer job but how ya STILL have a job despite all da STOOPID decisions you've made in--How long has he been in charge?

Porky: A-A-A--Nearly t-two years, boss.

Bugs: TWO YEARS. Ya've been in charge for TWO YEARS and managed to cost da studio so much money that ya could compare it to da GREAT DEPRESSION! If Disney loses dat money, dey can make it back wid anothah Marvel movie or a live action remake of Moana! WE ain't Disney, Doc! We need every dime we get and we're losin' it because a YOU!

David: ...

Bugs: Honestly, we was initially thinkin' a beatin' the snot out a yous and leaking da movie to da public. But now? Woof. NOW I know yer as dumb as an animal. And an animal needs to be treated as an animal.

He pulls out a dog whistle and gives it a blow. Within seconds, a small, brown tornado bursts through a wall in the warehouse and zooms over to the group, stopping its spin to reveal The Tasmanian Devil.

Bugs: Have ya heard of the Tasmanian Devil, David? Who am I kidding, of COURSE ya haven't. Well, let's just say that he'd be happy to meet you.

Taz looks at David, licks his lips, and starts jumping for joy as he heads over to him.

David: No. No! NOOOOOOOOOOOO--

***

David stands before a press conference, clothes torn up and his body bandaged.

David: I am now announcing that I'm stepping down as CEO of Warner Brothers Discovery...And as my last act, I will release Coyote Vs. ACME to the public.

Reporter: And are you going to release Batgirl too?

David: Well, no, that movie's unreleasable--

A batarang lands in front of him.

David: ...Batgirl and Coyote Vs. ACME. Both coming soon...to a theater or streaming service near you.

[kozumesphone]

hi! your writing style is so cute!!! <3

could I request for a jason x sister!reader fluff? maybe a holiday theme oneshot at camp ft. leo's silly little dialogues of course 💞

masterlist

💌┊₊˚⊹꒷ LIKE WE JUST MET .ᐟ

⤷ platonic!multiple x daughter of zeus!reader ‧₊˚ ⋅

ᝰ. 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 . . . percy jackson and heroes of olympus

ᝰ. 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬 . . . jason grace’s sister!reader and tooth rotting fluff ft. jason (ofc), leo and his adorable dialogues, just fluff basically, christmas party, and a fun day out for the demigods. ft. y/n saying a few words here and there in french, princess passenger!leo again <3, sugar crashed!leo, matching lightning mcqueen pjs for y/n & jace. alsoalso jason’s weatherman nickname inspired by this post.

ᝰ. 𝐤𝐞𝐲 . . . y/n — your name | n/n — nickname | r/n — random name | ‘merde’: shit | ‘mon amour’: my love

ᝰ. 𝐰𝐜 . . . 1.5k

ᝰ. 𝐚/𝐧 . . . uhajshwkjs this request is everything! tysm anon, bc I miss winter sm 😭 this was the perfect way to get over my summer depression fr <3 hope you like it!

“rise and shine, my lovely buffalos!” clarisse’s voice rang loudly.

“stop, no,” jason groaned from the opposite side of the room, grabbing a pillow to cover his ears.

“I love you, but it’s christmas eve. let us sleep in, clarisse! even jace wants to!” I yelled.

I cracked an eye open, and sunlight filtered through the now-open door as clarisse walked in, her hand intertwined with a sleepy chris’.

“oh, the light, i’m going to go blind, merde-” I rambled and picked up a pillow, throwing it in the general area of the cabin’s door. a thwap sounded as clarisse caught the pillow before it maimed chris.

“man, wake up, where’s the christmas cheer, yeah?” chris said, extremely unenthusiastically.

“you’re half asleep, dude. let me sleep,” jason mumbled.

“yeah, we all know clarisse dragged you here-” suddenly, my blanket was yanked off my body as I muttered a string of curse words. “nooooooo, my lovely and warm blanket-”

a squeal sounded from jason’s side of the room and I sat up on my bed to see him blanket-less as well. satisfied that I wasn’t the only one who was being annoyed by the two lovebirds, I grinned.

“you know, this is the first time you didn’t wake up the second your clock hit 5 in the morning,” I chuckled at jason.

before he could reply, clarisse started ordering us around. “get out of your pyjamas and come around to the dining pavillion for breakfast at 8.”

she glanced at jason’s and mine matching lightning mcqueen pyjamas, and grinned. chris and her walked out, leaving the door open.

“at least close the door,” I mumbled.

we disappeared into our sides of the room to get ready, and met up outside the cabin in 20 minutes.

it was absolutely serene to wake up to an almost-empty camp as it was snowing, with the harpies asleep. a butterfly landed on jason’s nose and I smiled. in that moment, it felt like nothing could disrupt the harmony of the world-

“HEY, WEATHERMAN! oh hello, lovely n/n,” leo skidded to a stop in front of us and grinned.

“morning, princess,” I said. leo and I did our handshake, as jason was still preoccupied with the butterfly.

“dude, how did you not wake up at 5? did your alarm malfunction? I can fix it for ya,” leo commented, looking at jason.

“what, i’m not allowed to wake up late?” he rolled his eyes, and started walking towards breakfast. leo and I followed him, talking about our prank war against the stoll twins and the general ongoings of camp half-blood.

we all take our seats at the hermes cabin’s table since chiron decided we should just sit at the same table because we’re only 40-ish campers, as compared to the usual 150 or more.

jason talks with clarisse for a while as leo and I engage in conversation with connor and travis, as we wait for the food. when everything we could ever want for breakfast turns up in our plates, we collectively get up and make a line to offer some food to the gods. I drop in a portion of my french fries and some vegetables I didn’t want.

“good luck receiving burnt vegetables, my dudes on olympus,” leo said, looking at me dropping some broccoli into the pyre, making me roll my eyes.

as we ate, chiron walked trotted in and took his seat at the head of the table, as mr. d echoed his actions on the other side.

“merry christmas eve, kids,” chiron said. “we have an announcement to make.”

we stopped talking between ourselves and turned towards chiron.

“as you all know, most of our campers have left camp to visit their families for the winter,” chiron said, as we all nodded along.

“and in lieu of the small number of you left in camp, we wanted to let you know that we are giving you pesky kids permission to have a ‘party’ for christmas.” mr. d continued. “and as a bonus, for gods know what reason, chiron asked to send any four of you to the mortal world to buy some decorations, or whatever, and anything else you might need.”

chatter broke out at the news of camp’s first ever christmas party.

“no alcoholic drinks will be permitted, unfortunately,” mr. d remarked sadly, which no one bothered to hear.

by the end of breakfast, we were all talking about the things we’d need for the party, and I began making a list. after an hour of begging, chiron decided that jason, leo, travis, and I (or as mr. d called us: “lee, jackson, tyler, and r/n”) could go to buy decorations and food ingredients. he gave us a few american dollars, and told us to eat something with any remaining money. he also pulled jason and me aside, asking us to look after the other two.

we piled into the camp car with travis driving, and leo beside him. ever the passenger princess, he put on his sunglasses, turned up the radio, and started singing to some pop music.

in about half an hour, we reached a store called 7-eleven (“but why would you name a shopping centre in numbers?” leo had asked us the last time we’d been there) and walked into the store, the sound of the bell resonating behind us.

we split into each of the four aisles for food, use-and-throw cutlery, decorations, and board & card games.

I finished picking out the decorations first and met up with jason, who got lots of food, near the cashier.

“ooh, percy, hazel and nico would’ve loved the cocoa and marshmallows,” I said to jason, peeping into his basket.

“yeah. and frank, will and annie would’ve loved to help you put up all those streamers and everything,” he said.

I realised that it was the first time we were spending christmas without them.

“why do you guys look like someone ran over your favourite stuffed toy? it’s christmas eve, guys! cheer up!” travis said, slapping jason’s back.

leo joined us too, suddenly smacking my shoulder as well, earning himself a glare from jason.

jason and I scanned travis and leo’s baskets to make sure they didn’t get anything extra. satisfied, jason grabbed all four baskets and made small talk with the cashier about a football game till the billing finished.

“shotgun!” leo called, as soon as we got our receipt, and he ran away along with travis to get into the car. I chuckled and took two of the four bags from jason.

from the store, we drove to a cafe for some coffee and bagels before getting back to camp.

timeskip

by half past 10, the hecate, tyche, hebe, hypnos, hera, poseidon, and hephaestus cabins had all the decorations set up, while the athena, demeter, nike, iris, and hades cabins whipped up the foods. the remaining cabins (ares, apollo, artemis, zeus, hermes, nemesis, aphrodite, and dionysus) set up the various games and logs for the campfire. chiron and mr. d chopped and dragged a tree from the woods to decorate.

we began settling down in a circle around the campfire with the decorated and well-lit christmas tree to one side. the apollo kids began singing, and the hermes kids put on their own version of a musical they called ‘hamilton’.

games were played and christmas carols were sung until we felt sleepy, and the chirping of the crickets increased. I was on my fourth cup of hot chocolate (jason said it wasn’t healthy, but whatever) and fifth packet of mini marshmallows, while leo was… passed out beside me from way more than just five cups of hot chocolate and lots of candy. typical leo valdez sugar crash.

“ay, mon amour,” I laughed at him.

beside me, jason was smiling warmly at the fire. his face was glowing in the harsh light of the campfire, making him look every part thalia’s brother.

I was a few months younger than jason, but I was at camp before he stumbled in. thalia was almost like my blood sister, always taking care of me. at this moment, everything about jason reminded me of the girl I once loved like a sister.

campers’ clocks struck 12, echoing wishes of ‘merry christmas’ throughout the camp.

“merry christmas, n/n,” jason smiled down at me.

“merry christmas, weatherman.”

“N/N!!! mErrY cHriStMaaaaaaaS!-“

“merry christmas, your honour, bad boy supreme,” I laughed at leo.

getting up from our spots on the mattresses around the campfire, everyone made their way into the hermes cabin. they had the biggest beds, and we’d all gotten our cabin’s heaters into one for more warmth.

the stolls fell onto the bed first, followed by around 10-12 campers, jason, leo and me. everyone readjusted themselves to comfort, and we were all falling asleep.

in the morning, I wouldn’t have anyone to share a miraculous christmas kiss with, but I will have many hugs to give to the boys I loved like my own brothers, and that would be enough for me any day.

bonus!

“i’m not crying, you are,” chiron said, wiping a stray tear away, looking at the huge cuddle pile in the hermes cabin. “my babies!”

mr. d scoffed at him.

taglist — @sunnitheapollokid @puffoz @canonfeminine @taytayluvr @urmomabby @cinemaconrad @aezuria @thetunnelunderoceanboulevard @jgracie @cherigall @percabethluvr @pjoverseluvr @maybxlle

kozumesphone © 2024 | don’t repost my works onto other platforms, or edit and post them even on tumblr, without asking me first • don’t steal my works, steal my heart instead • reblogs and comments are more than appreciated !

[starlight-lesbians]

okay so this sort offfff counts as a dialogue prompt but this post

https://www.tumblr.com/whatthehellami/734319377214767104/artwork-is-not-mine

for greasedinah! gb is obviously the angry one

You're Killing Me

a/n: greasey's cuteness aggression, basically

synopsis; greaseball is acting all frustrated, and dinah can't figure out why!

sfw, no warnings

Dinah was messing with her head. Greaseball had been irritated for hours, and her girlfriend was only making it worse. She couldn't really be mad at her for it though, it wasn't like it was on purpose. Dinah was just so cute, and it was getting to be too much for her, made her want to punch a pillow.

Technically she had things to do around the shed today, but she found herself stuck in place watching a focused Dinah experiment in the kitchen. The way her nose scrunched up when she was thinking was so frustratingly adorable, and she'd been unable to get it off her mind whenever she tried to think.

"What's got you in a mood today? You look tense..." Shit, Greaseball was hoping flying under the radar would be possible here.

"I'm..fine babe, just distracted" Dinah tilted her head curiously, Starlight she was cute..and made her way over to the couch.

"I don't believe you, you look mad." She pointed out bluntly, tapping Greaseball on the nose. "You sure you don't need anything? I can make some food or something..." Well, shit, nothing ever got past a worried Dinah, she noticed anything and everything, especially when you didn't want her to.

"It's stupid...like so stupid I don't want to tell you because you'll laugh, and you would be so justified in laughing." Greaseball put her face in her hands, trying to hide the redness popping up on her face with an angry expression that didn't quite hold.

Dinah sighed in exasperation, "What could possibly be that dumb? If it's upsetting you, it matters, we've talked about this..."

While Greaseball really appreciated Dinah trying to validate her feelings, that was unfortunately again making the weird urge to squeeze her so tight she popped way more powerful, What was this..?

"Dinah, baby, I'm fine, just in a mood is all." She huffed, still not looking at the coach in front of her to hide her blush as much as possible.

"Honey, your face is bright red...what's going on with you?" Dinah paused, a small giggle escaping her, "Wait a sec...are you just flustered? Did I do that?" She grinned mischievously, big doe eyes locking onto Greaseball's.

"N-no! I don't get...flustered." Greaseball rolled her eyes at the word, "I just told you, I'm in a bad mood, that's it!"

Dinah rolled her eyes, moving to straddle her lap, "You sure? Because from where I'm sitting, you wanna kiss me soooo bad." She pulled Greaseball in by the back of her neck, just barely not kissing her yet.

Greaseball groaned in frustration, pulling Dinah in the rest of the way, "Starlight, babe, not my fault you're so damn cute all the time." She barely broke the kiss to speak before dragging her back in again.

"What was so cute that it had you in a mood like this?" Dinah almost preened, sitting victoriously on her girlfriend's lap, "I need to know so I can do it more."

"Ugh, it's just you, babe. You're just there and you're adorable and I wanna squeeze you so hard you explode, I dunno." Greaseball shrugged, flicking Dinah on the nose

"Hey! Behave yourself!" Dinah giggled, barely able to fake annoyance, "You're cute too y'know, not sure why your response to me being cute is choosing violence though."

"Couldn't tell ya, but I guess it worked out, because now I have you here, and I can be as annoying as I like because you're stuck." She locked her arms around Dinah's waist and started kissing all over her face, "See what you do to me? I get all stupid about you, woman"

Through giggles, Dinah managed to press a kiss to Greaseball's nose, "If you haven't noticed, I'm pretty stupid about you too, so I'd say we're even."

anyways...this was silly

hope you like! and as always requests are open!!

[tgcg]

ive been a tgcg fan ever since the earlyish days of the blog and i cant believe only now im going to send in an ask despite enjoying your work for a while now, going to fix that now i guess.. ahem.. i know you probably get dis alot but i jst wanna say i love love love your art, writing, playlists, comics & your interpretation of davekat as a whole, its a breath of fresh air and feels very 'in character' and comforting to me in a way? very silly and natural.. esp the dialogue in ur comix, it feels.. real,, i could reread your stuff for hours and stare at your pretty colour choices as well, vry awesum 😁 its been sooo cooool to see this blog improve &grow over time, i love going back here every now n again when i remember so i can like all the posts.. one of my fave piecez of yours is def the big dk week one, i love all of them actually but that one is spechul 2 me

..sorry if this is too long and/or annoying, i just had to gush over this blog cause its ceritified AWESOME. anyway, have a good day for the rest of ur days randy of tgcg 🍀🍀

hehe hey hell ya i recognise ur url from quite a while back!

thank u so so much. i rly have come a long way with my ms paint mouse skills since i started this blog, which honestly wasnt even the point of the blog remotely, but i just got so into doing it. its gotten 2 a point where i get a lil embarrassed looking @ some of my earlier stuff, but i just think abt how much fun i had doing it & that it made ppl happy, & it goes away. this blog has always been abt fun

not annoying at all, im always blown away by the kindness of my fwlrs, u guys r rlly rlly lovely ppl & its something i never wouldve expected out of making this blog. U R certified AWESOMESAUC !

i hope u also have a lovely 4ever & thank u for sticking with me 🧡

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest | Vol 30

Howdy folks :)

Welcome to the THIRTIETH Spreadsheet Digest!!

I started reading a few series this week, and I'm not putting them on the spreadsheet til I've finished them; so, if I told you I'm reading your fic but it's not here, that's why. Eleven fics this week (Dieter, Joel, Din, Ezra, Javi P, and a Marcus P/Din/Reader)!

Fic Rec Masterlist | My Masterlist | My Kofi

Recs Below The Pedge

In Fiction - Dieter one shot by @sin-djarin

Summary: Dieter comes to bed. Tags: Established relationship, mentions of self doubt, no physical description of reader, no dialogue, no use of y/n. Thoughts: This was so sweet. I just want to hold him and pet his hair, fr.

In Reality - Dieter one shot by @sin-djarin

Summary: Dieter comes home for Christmas. Tags: Established relationship, masturbation (M), Dieter's self deprecation, no physical description of reader, no use of y/n. Thoughts: I'm just extremely obsessed with the nailing of Dieter's characterization here. He's a little gross and sad, but it's endearing. Poor baby can't keep his phone charged to save his life. And I love how reader just like... knows he's a mess and is okay with it. It's a little bittersweet? In a way that I adore.

O, Christmas Tree - Dieter one shot by @covetyou

Summary: As PA to Dieter Bravo, you were used to the strange, unusual and downright weird. What you weren't used to was taking in a shipment of - what? And how many? Tags: sex toys (so many butt plugs), Dieter being a menace to his PA, no smut, pure silliness. Thoughts: This is so delightfully silly. And they do kind of look like christmas trees.

The hat stays on - Joel one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

Summary: Hooking up with a cowboy in a bar bathroom... kind of. Tags: sub/dom dynamics, Sub!Joel, Switch!Joel, Public sex, Bathroom Sex, Squirting, orgasm denial(mention). Purely Porn with no Plot. Thoughts: I love these lil plot twist fics, I love cowboy hat joel, I love sub/switch!Joel, I love this.

To Know the Light - Din one shot by @burntheedges

Summary: to go in the dark with a light is to know the light. Tags: fluff, a teensy bit of angst, introspection, winter, food mention, reader has no description, gn!reader Thoughts: Din's internal struggle with removing the helmet is such a fascinating aspect of his character, and I think you did a beautiful job of capturing it here. I thought the imagery, the characterization, and the story telling in general here was just gorgeous.

Killshot - Ezra series by @magpiepills

Summary: A lonesome prospector comes face to face with a dangerous stranger. What happens when you can’t resist his charm? Tags: SMUT, PIV, fingering, oral (m&f receiving) pet names, spanking, dub con, angst, anal play, deep throating, cum eating, thigh riding, dirty talk, double penetration, toys, teasing, no use of y/n, no physical description of reader. Thoughts: This shit had me YELLING!!! Dirty Dog Ezra in full force here. I am still shook and I read this like 4 days ago.

Dare to Surrender - Javi P series by @auteurdelabre

Summary: “First to come loses.” You can’t stand Javier Pena but when Steve Murphy makes an off-hand remark that gets both you and Javier’s competitive sides going, there’s no telling how far you’ll go. Tags: Office Sex, Enemies to Lovers, Blow Jobs, Office Blow Jobs, Face-Fucking, Dare, Co-workers, soft!javi p, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Pet Names, Jealous!Javier Peña, Phone Sex, Jealousy, Steve Murphy cockblock, Desk Sex, No Pregnancy, Banter, Bonding, Bets & Wagers, Vaginal Fingering, Fingerfucking, Finger Sucking, hey we said no kissing, he falls first, no protection, From Sex to Love, Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Semi-Public Sex, P in V sex, Sweet!Javi, Nicknames Thoughts: I loved this storyyyyy. Javi was so pathetically in love with her and so bad at saying it. Brad sucks, btw, but I love how jealous he made Javi. P.S if you like the whole bet concept + Javi P check out Go Ahead I Dare Ya. It's a slightly different premise, but so very good.

Handsome, Dirty, Rich - Joel one shot by @pedgito

Summary: the rich father of your best friend, sarah — joel miller, was a mystery to you until one day he isn't and you quickly find that your interest in him isn't one-sided. Tags: no use of y/n, au/no outbreak, bfd!joel, ceo!joel, mentions of reader growing up poor/absent parents (joel is ridiculously loaded, it's fic y'all let me live lol), sneaking around, age gap (not explicitly specified, but reader is in final year of college and joel is probs late 40s/50s), vacations, gift-giving, unprotected piv, come swallowing, daddy issues if you squint, one (1) pussy slap, oral (f receiving), semi-public fucking Thoughts: The buildup was immaculate AGH. And I am obsessed with the kind of not quite happy ending? Part 2 maybe?

Comfort, Despite the Storm - Joel one shot by @marisferasiop

Summary: Joel's neighbor (you) is the town archivist and brings him a present on his birthday (with a side of teasing). Later, after waking from his own nightmares, he finds you sleepless on your porch during a storm and you take comfort in one another. Tags: fluff, smut, nightmares, alcohol, p in v sex, oral m receiving Thoughts: Love a lil continuous hookup situation. I adore how they get together in this and how reader takes the lead in the situation. And like the fic overall is sweet and flirty, but that smut is hot.

Misfire - Dieter one shot by @qveerthe0ry

Summary: Dieter gets waxed for a role and gets a little too excited. Tags: dubious consent, body hair waxing, pain kink, humiliation kink (kinda), subby!Dieter, ruined orgasm, coming untouched, hands-free orgasm, reader does not engage in sex acts, mentions of alcohol, mentions of drug use, accidental exhibitionism, accidental voyeurism Thoughts: Pathetic, whiny, whimpering, humiliation kink Dieter? Yeah. Yes. Thank you. Perfection. And if you want a version where reader plays along instead of ignoring him read that here.

Closure - Marcus P/Din one shot by @javier-pena

Summary: Marcus, Din and you used to be best friends. Now you're on opposite sides of the law with a decade worth of grudges between you. But hate can quickly become something else ... Tags: angst | canon-typical violence | mentions of food and alcohol and smoking | they’re all mean to each other and they have a difficult relationship | (a lot of) dirty talk (by my standards) | slight power imbalance | reader has hair that can be grabbed | threesome m/f/(m) (kinda) | ecouteurism | voyeurism | exhibitionism | a bit of edging | fingering | competitiveness | (unprotected) piv sex | creampie | a tiny, tiny bit of degradation Thoughts: Marcus and Din is a pairing I truly never thought I would see, but I am obsessed with this pairing. The way their personalities mesh is just stunning. I love the characterization of all three of them. I'm not usually one to read Din AUs where he's not some sort of Mandalorian, but I truly could not resist reading this. Everything about this fic was amazing. Reader's story, Marcus and Din's relationship, the setting, everything was just so good AHGHGGH.

--------------

This week I posted:

Scotty Doesn't Know - a Dieter one shot

Summary: Scotty doesn't know you're hooking up with Dieter Tags: songfic, smut, infidelity, dieter is a loser, scotty doesn't really deserve this he's just annoying, crack taken seriously, porn with the barest of plots, barely edited. WC: 2.8k

---------------

Happy Reading!

[pawseds]

I convinced our Delta Green game master to have a play-by-post (basically text roleplay) section in our game's server and uhhhhh maybe I've been having too much fun with it. Writing is faster than drawing comics, what can I say?

(Long ramble about writing stories below hehe oops)

While we're here! A bit about writing: I like writing! I've written for loger than I've drawn for (because school). I think I'm better at writing than drawing for that reason (I'm more confident at least). I've written short stories. I've written short stories about TTRPG things. I've also written a ~100k word novel by hand for 2 years. While writing it, I had 'writing class' (technically AS/A level Ennglish Language classes). It was the only class I had confidence in and high expectations for.

With those 2 combined, I burnt out pretty quick LOL. Specifically, I had a big perfectionism issue because of the high expectations I had from my teacher and especially myself -- it was the one thing I knew excelled at in school, so I better do it well! After I was done with the novel and A levels, I was supposed to edit the novel. It's been years and I haven't done it yet, and I wouldn't write non-assignment stories (except 2) until now. Writing became more nerverwracking than it was fun, so why would I?

To get back to the PBP thing: I've been in a campaign that was fully PBP. With my mindset being the way it is, hey! This is just one big writing exercise, so I ran along with that and had fun with it. I saw how some players would make their own PBP and essentially monologue/have a scene only with their PC. That was cool to see.

And now, my current Delta Green campaign (tagged 'Helvetia'). Hrothgar (guy in drawing) and his kids were ported over from a previous D&D campaign (the fully PBP one!), so the crew had a very well defined background already. Of course I get tons of drawing ideas for them, except I don't have the time to draw them all (compsci hard). But since the server has a PBP section, I had like 2 weeks to kill between session 0 and 1, and I was bursting with ideas... I made a lot of solo PBPs that were essentially short stories.

It didn't quite hit me until some time ago, but the PBPs actually made me enjoy writing again -- enjoy it a lot more, in fact! I think the format of Discord threads and messages removed most perfectionism tendencies I had. I just had to fire the story away, message by message. It didn't have to be amazing, and it was fun! (Also I really don't know how to shut up with them LOL)

I'll definitely be cleaning these PBPs up and posting them here as stories. Some of them are just silly, fun, slice-of-life character sketches. (These were the stories I wrote after my novel... and yes, they were about my other set of Delta Green characters LMAO) (and I've posted them here under pawsedswrite btw!) But some I see as legitamite short stories that I would edit more heavily and present as a short story. They were the kinds I could see myself writing on a document rather than on Discord.

Well, I lied. 'I would edit' is false. I have already edited one, because I spent like 5-6h writing this one PBP (oops) instead of writing the draft for my short story class/elective (oops 2). I joked to my two friends saying that I could just submit it as my assignment. Apparently, they both really liked it and said the dialogued slapped. So I did!

I procrastinated like hell on it though, because I was very nervous to go back into the PBP with an axe to edit it. Being in a writing class where nearly everyone else has been formally studying writing for some years kinda puts some pressure on ya!

Like the last assignment (which I'll post here after editing), I had a lot of worries. But the feedback and grade I got from my last assignment, the peer review I got from the current one, and also the support from those two friends (shoutout @katastrofish <3) made me feel more confident in myself. And also the fact that I had a lot of fun editing the PBP!

Uhhh this ramble was way longer than expected LMFAO if you've made it this far, damn, thanks for reading! If you also write or have similar experiences, feel free to share em. And have a good day!

(bonus POV editing)

[wvbaandtheboys]

ok the joke’s going way too far now but hey it’s fun and everyone’s enjoying it so… let’s enjoy it!! (expect drawings and more scenarios honestly HWJWJSH)

here’s some death scenes and death lines from the ro-boxers! (by the way, if y’all wanna give your two cents or even yeet robo ocs in the mix? completely fine by me, let’s all be silly together!!)

By the way, here’s my silly thought process for the robots: if they’re not having a cliche “tis a malfunction” moment, it’s prolly them being sentient and envying the real boxers and some openly expressing how they wanna off you through their more violent dialogue.

so obviously content warning for gore and stuff (guys it’s late and I’m tired so just b careful AJHSJS)

Little Mac:

Mac plays that distorted tune in the dark as he creeps into your office… and proceeds to kill you by pushing your head against the wall, slamming it and fracturing your skull.

“Ya weren’t paying attention, Birdie! Heheheheh!”

“HAH! Gotcha!”

“Bet you Mac couldn’t do that in a million years… heheh… Too bad, Petey…”

Glass Joe:

Well if ya don’t close the door on Joey, he comes right on in and lunges over your desk to get to you. He kills you by snapping your neck.

“Oh ho ho! La victoire est à moi!”

(“Oh ho ho! The victory is mine!”)

“I got you now! Ho ho hoh!”

“You were frozen in fear at the sight of me! Oh my, how sad!”

“Il a passé des années à se faire craquer... Mais c'est maintenant à mon tour de VOUS briser.” (Evil French laughter)

(“He spent years getting cracked… but it’s now my turn to break YOU”)

Von Kaiser:

If ya disturb the war grandpa, he’s gonna rush to you screaming “ATTACKEN!” and bust into ya office. He vaults over your desk and slams his fist right into your face.

(Just evil German laughter here)

“Du bist so dumm, wie du mit Blutrot befleckt bist…”

(“You are as stupid as you are stained with blood red”)

“Deine Zeit läuft ab, Junge. Wenn deine Stunde zuschlägt... werde ich da sein, um deine Flamme zu löschen.”

(“Your time is running out, boy. When your hour strikes… I will be there to snuff out your flame”)

Disco Kid:

Disco’s itching to dance but equally itching to kill. He’ll boogie his way on up close and personal before spinning you round and round and slamming you into a hard surface. Owch.

“Whoopsie!~ Guess ya couldn’t handle the disco fever…”

“Aw, c’mon Pete! I was just gettin’ started too…”

“…C’mon now Peter… do you really think I’m just gonna let you go?… Mm-mm… I’m not nearly as nice as your friend. Let’s get down together… better keep up… or else I’m gonna paint you black and blue~”

King Hippo:

Hippo stomps right in, flips your desk and reenacts the bite of 87 on you.

“My, how flavorful!”

(Hippo laughter here)

(A different hippo laugh here)

“…Hippo sees you… in the camera… watching him…….. you.. look.. delicious. ….I’m coming for you.”

Piston Hondo:

Piston full on drags you into the vent like the xenomorph from Alien: Isolation while laughing maniacally.

(Evil ANIME laugh here)

(Enter another evil ANIME laugh here)

“Your ears aren’t up to par… that much is obvious.”

(This is said in Japanese but it’s difficult to accurately translate for me so just pretend) “Hah… Allow me to snuff out that flame of hope you have… I am not merciful like him. Struggle if you wish… it is futile. This night… I will not let you escape alive.”

Bear Hugger:

Well if ya don’t hide, he’ll just mow down your desk and crush your spine with his huge metallic arms! And if you hide when he’s already seen you, he’ll yoink ya from beneath the desk and lift you up, then crush your spine.

“Yahaha! Got ya!”

“Eh, no use hidin’ from me, Pete! I got the eyes of a hawk, ears like a bat and the strength of a bear! You can’t do nothin’ against me! Heheh!”

“Found ya!”

“C’mon, Pete… come out, come out wherever ya aaareeeee…~ I know you’re heeeree…~ I ain’t got candy for brains like that hoser… I ain’t stupid.”

“C’mon now, Birdie… I don’t like losin’… Why don’t you come on out for a nice, big squeeze…?~ I promise it won’t hurt… not for long anyways… heheheheh.”

Great Tiger:

Well ya slacked off and now you face the music. Tiger comes eeriely slithering out of your vent with his gem a-glowing before pouncing at you like a proper tiger. His clones even join in on the jumpscare! :D

(Mean laughter) “Oh… what terrible eyes you have, Peter.”

(Smooth but evil chuckle)

“If only you looked a little harder… oh well, you’re already dead…”

(Somewhat raspy and low) “Like a tiger, I stalk my prey… savor your pungent fear on my tongue… between my teeth… waiting… waiting… for the moment… that I… can finally… POUNCE!”

Don Flamenco:

Well, guess ya couldn’t resist the rose man’s charms. Don pops up and shanks ya right in the heart with his rose.

“Oh, pobre...”

(“Oh, you poor thing”)

“La muerte nunca ha sido tan poética, ¿eh?”

(“Death has never been this poetic, eh?”)

(Somewhat malicious laughter)

“Mercy…? Oh…… you foolish boy. I share no passion with… him. …The reaper calls your name… and I shall send you to him… I have no heart that beats in my chest… and I will bleed yours into stillness.”

Aran Ryan:

Well, ya looked. Why did you look? Well whatever the reason, Aran whips out his flail and tightens it around your neck. Snap crackle pop!

“Ya looked!”

(Irish gremlin chuckle)

(Irish gremlin cackling)

“Ya look pretty blue, Pete… did I squeeze ya a little too hard?”

“….You should see the look on yer face right now… heheh… what’s that…? You don’t want me to hurt you?… Heh… heheheheh! Sorry Petey… but I don’t change my mind like the other one does… Now… how about ya hold still…”

Soda Popinski:

Well, since Soda doesn’t kill you, he just breaks your door. He feels bad about it though.

“Sorry! Soda didn’t mean to break it!”

Bald Bull:

Busts down your door and proceeds to give you the nastiest headbutt of your life. …And the last headbutt of your life. Owch. That certainly left some blood.. everywhere…

“You weren’t going to keep me out forever.”

“You provoked the bull. And got the horns.”

(Slight evil chuckle) “Useless bird. You never stood a chance fighting me.”

“You may try and struggle… you may try and fight.. but it’s all in vain. I will get in one way or another… and when I do… I’ll coat the walls with your blood.”

Damnbullchill-

Super Macho Man:

Well ya fucked around and ya found out. He sweeps your desk aside and caves your face in with his boot once you’re on the ground.

“You don’t ever keep a star waiting.”

“Ugh! You ruined my photoshoot! >:[“

“Work it!~”

“You were taking too long, dude… not my fault you got such a bogus fragile skull…”

“Don’t make me wait… don’t test me. I’m not an idiot like that guy.. so you’d better hurry it up… or else.”

Mr. Sandman:

You once again fucked around and found out. The power goes out, and Sandman creaks open one of your doors and makes sure you’ve seen him before he comes in. Creepy how the only thing you’d see is his eyes.

“Heheh.. night night, Peter…”

“It’s way past your bedtime, baby… why don’t you start countin’ sheep?”

“Heh… sound sleeper, huh?…” (he says while watching peter actively bleed out)

“…It’s time for bed, Peter baby… n’ don’t think I’ll hold any punches. He mighta done that cause he likes you… but I don’t do holding back. Brush your teeth, close your eyes… and go to sleep.”

[1lostsoul0fishbowl]

do u have any sibling headcanons for Max and Eddie?

like maybe activities they do together or shenanigans they get into?

Okay first of all I LOVE YOU for asking this, because I live and breathe the Munson-Mayfield Sibling Agenda! 😄 I have a zillion headcanons for them but here are just a few:

They made up their own secret code language and absolutely refuse to explain it to anyone else. Eddie won’t even tell Chrissy what the code words mean.

They have their own private walkie-talkie channel, which they immediately change if one of the other kids manages to find it.

They talk every single day. Even if it’s only for two minutes, a quick “Hey. You doing okay? Alright, great. Catch ya tomorrow. Love you.”

In the Lostsoul Universe, Max escaped Vecna with only one arm badly broken. While her arm was in a cast, Eddie would brush and braid her hair for her every morning before school. He was actually a little sad when she finally got the cast off and could do it herself again, so every now and then she still asks him to do it for her.

Whenever they go grocery shopping together they play a game where they try to sneak something weird into the other person’s cart without them noticing. Five points if they don’t notice until the checkout line. Ten points if they accidentally buy the thing. They’ve kept a running tally for over a year now, and Max is winning 35-5.

If Eddie loses Max in the store, he will absolutely scream “MARCO!” at the top of his lungs. And as embarrassed as she is, she never fails to holler back “POLO!”

They both love McDonald’s and they eat there, as Chrissy says, way too often. Eddie introduced Max to dipping fries into a milkshake, and Max taught Eddie to put the hash brown right into the middle of the Egg McMuffin.

They also play a game called “my sibling’s an expert”. It involves going to the flea market and waiting to be approached by a seller. Some lady will innocently say “would you like to buy a picture frame?” And Eddie will immediately respond “oh, my sister’s an expert on picture frames!” and then Max has to make up some ridiculous facts about why frames are always rectangular and never square. Or at the homemade jellies table Max will casually tell the old couple “you know, my brother’s an expert jelly checker” and Eddie has to convince them not only what a jelly checker is but that he definitely is one. 25 points to whoever makes up a plausible sounding story without laughing. 50 points if they can get the seller to believe it.

Before Mystery Science Theater 3000 was a thing, Eddie and Max had perfected the art of wisecracking and riffing on movies. They actually got banned from the local movie theater for talking too much and distracting everyone around them. Before renting a movie, sometimes Chrissy will make Eddie swear to just keep quiet and let her watch without adding his own dialogue. More than once she’s threatened to duct-tape their mouths shut.

Eddie sometimes forgets that Max isn’t actually his biological sister. Once an old lady in the grocery store asked him where his sister got that lovely red hair, and Eddie spent a few minutes trying to think if he had any ginger relatives before he remembered.

Max, on the other hand, never forgets that Eddie isn’t actually her brother, and worries a lot about him replacing her. Finally Eddie made up a set of fake adoption papers, formally adopting her as his little sister “until the end of time”. He set up a ‘courtroom’ in the Harrington’s living room and had Hopper act as the judge and made it into a whole big thing. They goofed around and acted silly the whole time until Hopper formally pronounced them siblings. Then they both started crying.

I could seriously go on and on but I’ll stop here - thank you again for the fun ask!!!

[hellvcifer]

So hey silly little question here..♡ but lol would you let someone help you write?♡. And also. I like...i really love writing with all my heart. But...i dont know where to start?♡ .. Am a bit unsure and worried .tbh but i totally wanna get a feel for it!! What do ya Recommended fellow writer?♡><

- Zikie🐽

Hi there, Zikie !!

First, thank you so much for the love! I appreciate it a lot <3 I’ve added more below the cut!

Second, not a silly question at all!! I personally don’t think I would let someone help me write just because I typically have a vision of how I want things to unfold and with how my brain works, I find it easier this way. But I’m always up for writing collabs or helping out other writers !! ^^

Starting out writing may feeling a bit overwhelming or intimidating at first but once you begin getting a feel for it, you’ll slowly learn how you like to write and what process feels more comfortable for you.

Have confidence in yourself! A huge tip I love to give to other writers is write like no one else will read it! I know it sounds weird, but the idea is to not worry about what others might say about your writing and focus on what makes you happy. Don’t change scenes or dialogues because of what others might think about it. If you like it, then include it!

Also don’t be afraid to outline your work before really getting into the bulk of your writing! Even if it’s just small blurbs of dialogue or scenes here and there. I do this for all of my fics and it helps with controlling the plot line and eliminates potential holes. I’ll even write the ending of a fic because I’ll think of how I want it to end first LOL

I have complete faith in you and know you’ll be great! Just gotta get the strength to start and I promise you’ll do amazing :)

I’m open to giving out more tips that I personally use and go further into detail if you’d like! I’m also available to read over writing for feedback through my submission box :) just let me know <3

[themirokai]

I genuinely don't know if you can send URLs in asks, so if this doesn't work, blame the blue hellsite... but how about a raven being adorable? And naughty. But mostly adorable. https://youtu.be/hh52CfnGCK4

Thank you so much for this! Over on my last Matthew The Emotional Support Raven fic, I asked for prompts of real ravens and this one is perfect.

The URL does work but just in case it needs to be included in the answer as well, I strongly recommend that everyone watch this beautiful lady hanging out and entertaining herself:

The thing that got me the most about this charming video was the mimicry! I kind of knew ravens did this, but I loved Fable saying "Hi" in what is clearly the same tone her handler uses. So that's where I started with this silly little fic. Enjoy!

Matthew landed on the branch of a gnarled tree. “Heya, Merv.” 

Mervyn Pumpkinhead glanced up from where he was digging a ditch. “Hey, new kid. Whaddaya want?” 

“I’ve been practicing,” Matthew told him. 

“Aw yeah?” Mervyn stuck his shovel into the dirt and leaned on it with his elbow, puffing on his cigar. 

“Yeah, ya wanna hear?” 

“Go on, then,” Mervyn gestured with his cigar. 

Matthew took a deep breath and attempted to draw himself up regally. “I Am The Shaper of Form, Prince of Stories.” 

Mervyn’s orange face scrunched up. “Nah, needs work, kid.” 

“Wait wait, I can do better!” Matthew cawwed, fluttering his wings. He took another breath, closed his eyes this time. “Guardian of Sleepers, Lord of the Dream Domain.” 

Mervyn waggled his head from side to side. “Eh, better, but still not there.” 

“Anthropomorphic Personification of the Collective Unconscious.”

“Whoa there!” Mervyn put up his hands. “Too far, kid! Pull it back!”   

“Sorry, sorry,” Matthew said in his own voice. “How’s this?” he cleared his throat. “King of Dreams, Ruler of the Nightmare Realms.” 

Mervyn’s eyes went wide. “Oh yeah! You got it, kid!” 

“I am the Sandman,” Matthew continued. 

“Very amusing.”

Every feather on Matthew’s body stood on end as he watched Merv’s cigar fall from his gaping mouth into the dirt. Slowly, inch by inch, Matthew forced himself to turn his head and look behind him. 

Lord Morpheus was there, clad in a gray t-shirt and black jeans, arms crossed over his chest and frown on his face. Just behind him stood Lucienne, face contorted with the effort of containing her laughter. 

Matthew’s heart hammered in his chest. “Uh, hi. Boss.”

“You might have considered practicing with something other than my names.”

“I’m sorry, Boss, I j-“

Lord Morpheus held out his hand, his face stern. “Come, Matthew.”

Matthew flexed his feet against the branch and tried to look small and inoffensive. “Uh… where are we going?” 

“To my gallery. I am going to block the visual connection.”

If Matthew had eyebrows they would be scrunched up as he flew to Lord Morpheus’s outstretched hand. 

“Wait…” Matthew landed as gently as he could and was immediately transferred to Lord Morpheus’s shoulder, “you want me to talk to your siblings? As you?” 

Now he could see the little smirk on Lord Morpheus’s face. 

“I do.”

“Oh this is gonna be fun!” 

~~

I hope you enjoyed! I don't usually write Morpheus's dialogue in bold, but it worked here.

Update: the master post of my Matthew the Emotional Support Raven ficlets is here.

[crypticjackal13]

Any tips on writers block and/or writing itself?

Hmmm.....perhaps? Here's what I ask/tell myself as I write ✍️🤠

Write what you love. I don't like writing things that don't make me happy/fulfilled in some capacity. Like I've said before(especially for fluffy/romantic content!) If I don't have a stupid grin once I'm done I go back and rewrite! For more emotional stuff, I think of stuff I've read that's made me feel feelings and try to figure out how it got that way

It doesn't have to be perfect. Period. It doesn't matter how long you've been writing, you know your own skill level/strengths/weaknesses. Vibe with it!

Ambience. For me, I need some kind of noise or sensory thing to get me in the zone. For my bakery request I had animal crossing music on and I sped through it bc the vibes were right :)) there are lots of YouTube playlists/videos/channels dedicated to writing ambience!

Look up those silly dialogue prompts or trope lists!! Find one you love and build around it!! If you find yourself stuck, maybe look at an alternative one and see if you can get further!

Getting stuck sucks. When I took my composition class in highschool my teacher told us that no matter what, keep writing something. Even if it's the same word over and over, keep going until something new pops up in your head!

Don't force yourself. In my personal experience I've tried to sit in front of a blank doc and try to picture stuff in my head but I could never get it through to the keyboard. If you honestly don't feel up for it, you don't have to. If you can only get a few words or sentences down, don't feel bad.

Sometimes you have to start at the end of a story. Most of the drabbles I write, I think of the ending before I think of the beginning. I knew I wanted Spider Queen to accept the reader and Redson being together, but from there I had to retrace the reader's steps! How was the confession? Did they have to sneak off? It's very much like "hey, you might be wondering how I got in this situation. Well, lemme tell ya"

I hope this helped!!

[ghostofhallownest]

everything everywhere all at once thoughts (NOT spoiler free)

i’m not a movie-goer. i think i’ve seen 3 total movies since 2020, including pre-pandemic, in theaters. before that, i only went if my friends wanted to go.

i went to see everything everywhere all at once due to a random retweet of a neil gaiman tweet from april 17 about how you should absolutely see this movie in theaters if at all possible, knowing nothing about it if given the chance. it leaves theaters near me on thursday, and there was a late-night showing yesterday, which is my favorite kind of showing to attend, so, hey. why not? um. 

bruh.

the core of everything everywhere all at once being, simultaneously: 1. one of the best visualizations of a queer kid’s mental health (the freaking bagel being built to hold the weight of everything she saw in the world so she could see if she “could finally die?” because she wanted the pain to stop?? her masking that pain constantly under a colorfully nihilistic exterior when it’s profoundly miserable to bear and she desperately hopes, in part, that someone [her mom] will face this “absolute truth” with her and show her a different way to view it/live it/bear it?) 2. one of my favorite depictions of the complex relationship between a child + their parents ive seen in visual media (”i love them, i want them to love me,they  hurt me trying to love and i hurt them back on purpose and i don’t know how to compromise to make this possible [because i haven’t realized compromise is even necessary]” going both ways); the fact that evelyn sincerely fucked up not just her relationships, but also the lives of her daughter + husband, and that despite that the consistent narrative thread through the whole of the movie is “im taking drastic action because you arent listening to anything else, but i just want us to talk“ 3. honestly the interwoven-ness of it all is part of what gives it its brilliance, that the evelyn we follow needs the perspectives of all these fragmented could-have-beens to broaden her own internal perspective, which allows her to reach out to her family and make the best of all of those paths for the life that she has. i also adore how well they portrayed the seductiveness of joy’s nihilism + depression bc!! yeah! that’s what it’s like! and how waymond’s core philosophy: yes, life is cruel, but i choose the beauty and the small joys and kindness anyway, because this world won’t make me hard, is consistently seen as weak and silly until, like...

honestly, i think that’s the hardest thing to do in this life. i think it’s a quiet resilience, but perhaps the strongest. + i adored that this movie seemed to agree. 4. the fact that even in her most “successful” lives, where if she’d done just one or two things differently the evelyn we follow knows she could have had all this---the fact that the movie takes the time to break down the difficulties that she has in these lives, or the joys in the ridiculous small lives; the fact that it’s always, no matter the measure of success, about the few glimpses where everything makes sense, and you’re never robbed of that no matter the size of the life you live if you’re willing to let those moments in...yeah. yeah. of course there’s so much more. the construction of the rock universe being voiceless, spoken in dialogue tags on the screen? i loved it. i also loved the font choice. the leitmotif in the fight scenes + the freaking hot dog universe with deirdre + at other junctures just. 

+++

after i saw the movie, i went to burger king because it was one of the few places open at 1am near me. i ordered, and as i pulled forward, i realized (panicking), that i...had completely left my wallet at home. so i don’t peel out of line, because, i dunno, that feels rude...there’s only one car in front of me, anyway. i pull forward, and sheepishly, apologetically explain that i don’t have my wallet, have a good night, i’m very sorry. “oh, hey, you just had the large fries and the chicken sandwich, right?” the manager gives me a kind smile. “here ya go. have a good night.”

alpha wang says he’s trying to bring the world back to Before, “how do we get back?” <to before all this mess, before we didn’t trust our neighbors, before we were so cruel to each other, before before before> and the answer, the dorky, clueless, lost wang provides: be kind first. even if you doubt there will be kindness given back.

[youandtom]

'Act 1: Scene 5 and 6'

Tom Holland X Reader

Summary: When helping Tom run through some lines, you begin to notice some similarities between the characters in his new romance film and your own life. All of a sudden, you aren't acting anymore...

Themes: fluff, friends to lovers

w/c: 1.8K omg a short fic for once

a/n: this was completely unplanned. I had the thought in my head for so long so I just fired it out quickly in like two hours but hey ho here ya go. Also everything in this is completely and utterly made up. Tom sadly isn't doing romance films as of yet.........

☆MASTERLIST☆

“Oh good, you’re home.”

The voice of your best friend, Tom, echoes through the hollows of your house as he marches in, ignoring social etiquette and barging right in. He doesn’t even give you a minute to respond as a pile of paper is thrown quite precariously towards your face.

“Come right in, Tom. Make yourself at home!” You sarcastically mumble as you peel the papers away from your face. By the way its formatted and by the way Tom perches himself at the centre of the room, you can tell it’s a script that he evidently wants you to run through with him. Tom has a habit of asking you to be his temporary stage partner before the big deal, and don’t get yourself wrong, you don’t mind it, sometimes you even find yourself getting carried away with the scenes, but tonight you’re just not feeling it.

Particularly because you know what this script involves.

Tom’s acting career has branched out from the action thrillers he’s grown comfortable with to romantic dramas and he has every right to do so; he’s young, attractive and in his physical prime to play the love interest that audiences would be fawning for. So when he scored a major role in the highly anticipated adaptation of the most romantic novel out there, he couldn’t have been happier.

The plot of the film revolves around two protagonists: a young couple in their twenties struggling to find their roles in each others lives, detailing the intriguing and intimate chemistry shared between them despite their bumpy, unstable relationship. It’s a devious plan on the writer’s behalf intending to keep the audience questioning whether or not they will end up together. And spoiler alert: they do. The film’s story is an emotional roller-coaster; gripping and unpredictable and it was those little qualities that drew Tom to the role.

Not that you don’t commend Tom’s ambition for expanding his expertise because his talent deserves all the attention he gets, but there’s a little part of you that’s been forced to lay dormant for quite a few years now, that wishes you could just keep Tom to yourself. You dare say that your attraction to Tom is just as dramatic as the film he’s been cast to feature in. You really do admire him but he’s your best friend and has been for a long time, why the hell would you throw away something like that for the sake of the silly, little crush you have for him? He probably doesn’t even like you back. In fact, you know he doesn’t. It simply isn’t worth it.

Despite not quite feeling up to the task, you comply anyway. After all, you can’t refuse your willingness to help him.

“What scene?”

“Act 1, scene 5 and 6.”

You flip to the page and quickly run through the dialogue, realising it’s one of the many scenes that show the more argumentative side of the relationship. The two characters, Theo and Alexa, engage in a very heated and tense fight. In your peripheral you see Tom psyching himself up, conjuring anecdotes to foster his emotions for the scene. You stand parallel to him, script in hand before immediately falling into character. Tom gives his opening line.

‘I can’t believe you, Alexa. Is this some sort of a joke to you?’

‘Of course not! You have to understand I never meant-’

‘Cut the bullshit. You knowingly stood me up to be with that guy and he knew what he was doing too. You’re smart, Alexa but sometimes you’re just so fucking dense!’

‘If you just listen to me, then I can explain…’

‘Oh so now you want to communicate? You could’ve saved yourself the hassle by telling me you weren’t going to show, at least then I wouldn’t have made an absolute arse out of myself sitting in the restaurant bar alone for hours.’

Your eyes find Tom’s, stuck in the heat of the moment as his character. Fuck, he’s really good at this. It motivates you to match his efforts, embodying this character and really feeling her emotions.

‘I tried to contact you, Theo, I really tried. But I was too upset and Gavin was just trying to help me and before you start insulting him, he wanted me to be with you, he wanted me to go but I…’

‘But what?’

‘I was scared that I was about to make a mistake.’

Oh shit. Why do you feel yourself tearing up? It’s just a run-through, get yourself together. Your eyes remain glued to the script in front of you, waiting for Tom to deliver his line but there’s nothing but silence from him.

“Tom, it’s you,” you mumble but still he remains silent. You look up to him to find that he has a wide smirk on his face, the script completely abandoned by his side. You can’t imagine Theo’s character to be smiling right now, very unlikely and unfitting. So why is he smiling? “What?” You cautiously ask, but he shakes his head and gives a gentle laugh.

“Nothing, you’re just really invested in this aren’t you?” The comment perks your lips and a rose colour blushes your cheeks. You did always have a tendency to get too far into it.

“Shu’up. Right, go from my last line.” You lift your script a little higher to cover your blush and with a flick of a switch, you are Alexa again.

‘I was scared that I was about to make a mistake.’

‘So I’m a mistake now, am I?’ Tom takes a step closer.

‘No, not you! Look, this is new for us both. I was so scared of losing the friendship that we already have…’

You flip the page and surely to fucking god, this can’t be real. You have to cut yourself off before you read your next part because the irony is just unbelievable. How did you know that your love life is as dramatic as this film…

Tom whispering your name pulls you out from your daze, prompting you to continue. You swallow the thick lump in your throat before muttering words of apology. You say the next part, but this time when you deliver your words, the acting stops. The words so scarily fitting that you’re no longer channelling Alexa, this comes from you unbeknownst to Tom.

“I was so scared of losing the friendship that we already have and sacrificing it for love. What if things didn’t go right? What if we did go on this date and it turns out we don’t like each other? Or what if I found myself falling for you and you didn’t feel the same? I knew that if any of those things were to happen that we could never go back to the way things were and I didn’t want to lose that. That’s what I was scared of.”

Your voice wavers just as you deliver your last line, something about those words touching a little closer to base more so than before. Your heart skips a little when you realise that you kept your eyes on Tom through every word, a way for your subconscious to manifest your true feelings through fake words.

The paper trembles in your hand but you refuse to pull away because you know that this script is the only thing separating you and Tom, who now seems to be standing inches from you, not breathing a word. Breathing slightly heavier than before, your eyes read the words that Tom is supposed to be saying, unsure of whether he’s pausing for dramatic effect or whether there’s something else that’s stopping him.

Seconds pass and the quietness calls for you to investigate Tom’s silence. He isn’t looking at the script anymore, but at you. He reads the hopelessness in your eyes as easily as he reads the words on his script, like it was written out for him. And he realises something rather peculiar about the way you hesitated before you spoke, something about those words that made your body tense and voice wobble and he deliberates until the message reads loud and clear. Tom’s known you for the longest time and given his experience in acting, out of everyone, he would be the person to recognise the difference between playing pretend and reality. You’re a good actor, but not as good as you think you are.

“It’s your-”

His soft lips melt into yours, stealing your breath. You stand, frozen to the spot, while you wait for your brain to register what’s happening. Tom moulds his lips against yours, recoiling only to tilt his head and sink himself further into the taste of your lips when you fully submit to it, eyes closed and breathing faltering. As time seems to slow, so does his kiss and it gives you all the time you need to savour it, to feel his hand that inches closer to the nape of your neck, obliging himself to run his fingers through your hair. A quiet hum suddenly resonates from your throat when Tom delicately passes the tip of his tongue past your lips to tease the edge of yours, holding back from the passion that’s infecting him and contain the powerful urge to explore more. Because this is new to you both…

It’s the idyllic romantic kiss that is the pinnacle of what romance movies would spend 2 hours building up to, the kiss that everyone waits for at the end and the kiss that every woman fantasises about, and being as gentle as he is, you didn’t think it was possible for a kiss such as this to happen in real life.

Tom pulls away in slow motion, sinking back just momentarily to offer you a reassuring peck, relishing the intimacy until its final moments. The first thing he does is release a sigh of relief and it washes over the features on your face like a coolant to your burning cheeks. Being so unexpected, your blush continues to redden which prompts Tom to sweep a thumb over the highs of your cheeks. The buzz of your lips still lingers and you bite down on it to contain it for as long as you can.

“I don’t think that was in the script…”

“No,” he chuckles, warm and homely. “No it definitely wasn’t.”

“Then…why?”

“You went off-script too. Didn’t you realise that Alexa’s line is only two sentences long yet somehow you turned it into…like six?”

“I did? Sorry, I must’ve…must’ve got c-carried away,” you inwardly chuckle, eyes immediately averting. Lo and behold. He’s right. The line is a quarter of the speech you gave…

“You said it with such conviction, looking right into my eyes. I had to think that there was some truth in your improvisation.” You don’t respond because you know he’s discovered your biggest secret and you can’t bring yourself to confirm his suspicions. He lowers his head closer, eyes adamant to find yours as he searches for your line of sight. “Is there?”

Timidly you nod your head, movements small and embarrassed.

“Then you have nothing to worried about,” his words flow in a soft whisper through his smile. “Because I like you too.” Tom solidifies his words with yet another breathtaking kiss.

[obeiii-mee]

Hey! Sorry to bother you with a second ask but i thought this one would be cool. Fluffy headcanons of the demon brothers watching scary movies with MC??? Somewhere MC gets scared, and some where they don't? Thanks again!! :)

It’s no bother!! I love getting requests from you guys! The more, the merrier. I sort of hc that the brothers and MC do have movie night every week or so and with them being demons, they tend to levitate towards the horror genre. Thank you for sending this, this is really cute :)))

Without further ado—-

————————————

The Brothers watching Scary movies with MC:

Lucifer:

-Haha mf already knows how this is going to end

-He warned you, he really did

-The horror movies DevilDom has to offer are nothing, and I mean nothing, like the ones from the human world

-I’m not going to go into detail but imagine Two Girls One Cup, in a less kinky and more gorey way (then times that by 10)

-But you were adamant into giving it a go and he literally could not deny you in that moment

-Because you were giving him the puppy eyes

-That’s like, the finishing blow you use every time to get your way with him and as far as you know it’s the only one that works so-

-He expected your reaction to the last second

-You were traumatised for lack of a better word and you were basically watching the whole film through the cracks between your fingers

-Seeing you in that state was like a punch in the gut but he couldn’t stop himself from throwing in a subtle ‘I told you so’

-“I told you watching something like this before bed is a bad idea, MC.”

-He might be a bit condescending and judgemental at first, but he’s probably going to baby you a bit for the rest of the night

-Because he feels bad he allowed you to watch it in the first place

-HAHAHAHA SOFT LUCIFER HAS BEEN SUMMONED, USE HIM WISELY

-He will start muttering words of comfort to you later because he’s certain you’re going to have trouble sleeping

-Because of that one time, he’s very hesitant to let you watch another horror film anytime soon

-But he will relent eventually (especially if you want to watch a human horror film as those are technically less extreme)

-If it makes you happy, he will go through with it, even if he has to let you cling onto him for the rest of the day

-Besides, the way you cuddle into him while you’re watching a horror film is very cute and endearing to him

Mammon:

-Ah yes, the most effective method of waking up the entire House of Lamentation at 3:00 am

-Mammon screaming his own vocal cords out in his room as he tries to get through his human’s favourite horror movie without dying of a heart attack

-It was his idea because he’s definitely the type to go: “Yeah let’s do this, it will be fun. Don’t get too scared alright MC? The Great Mammon will be here to protect ya.”

-And then ten minutes in, he’s basically in your lap

-Half an hour in, he turned himself into a demon burrito with his blankets

-You were enjoying the movie, laughing at the stupid sound effects and poor quality while Mammon next to you has wrapped himself in like two dozen blankets and pillows

-“Mammon you’re going to overheat.”

-“Don’t be silly human, I’m a demon who lives in hell. I can take high temperatures the same way I can take this damn movie!”

-He doesn’t take either of them well

-Mammon and the horror genre don’t mix well together to begin with

-So even if you might enjoy horror, he doesn’t react well to it at all

-And he’ll be low-key relieved if you tell him you guys don’t have to watch any sort of horror film for your date night

-“Well I guess if you don’t want to, then we don’t have to. Can’t make my human do something they’re uncomfortable with eh?”

-But if you do watch a scary movie with him, be sure to show any sort of physical affection to him as often as possible

-You don’t have to say anything, just hold his hand or let him put his head in your lap or something

-It might stop him from screeching like a female sloth in heat

-The last time that happened, his brothers weren’t too pleased with him

-They about to recreate the horror film scenes onto him, bring the popcorn have fun

Levi:

-For some reason, I feel like he doesn’t get scared easily while watching stuff

-I mean, after decades of obsessively watching animes with brutal character deaths (like Attack on Titan style) and grotesque horror games that are pretty nasty even to demons, let alone humans;

-A horror film, from the human world or even DevilDom, doesn’t do much for him

-It will have to have very good psychological horror in it if you want the hairs on his arms to stand up in anticipation

-Tension is a big deal for him and he will immediately shut off the TV if there are any cheap jump scares

-But, if you manage to find just the right thing for him?

-You’ll both be hiding under the bed in no time under the bathtub more like

-Hell, if the film you’re watching is that good, he might even be holding onto you for dear life without realising it and getting flustered about it

-For weeks afterwards, any sound that is remotely similar to one from that movie will probably send both of you into panic

-You came to his room one night because you’ve had a nightmare about the stupid film and legitimately thought there was a fucking demon serial killer in your room

-So you wanted to stay in his

-“But what if there is a serial killer in your room and now you just led it to me MC????”

-It’s all jokes, there’s no question he would lock both of you in his room and then stay there with you wide awake until dawn

-You’re his best friend after all, he would have to be completely heartless to leave you on your own! (Besides Levi is terrifying when he wants to be)

-One time you were sleeping over and the sound of fumbling woke you tf up

-And Levi immediately turned into his demon form, like he was ready to throw hands with this fictional murderer that supposedly sneaked into his room

-“DON’T WORRY MC, I’LL PROTECT YOU!”

-“Ah never mind, it’s just Mammon breaking into your room again to steal your Ruri-Cham figurines and sell them on Akuzon.”

-“Oh OK.”

-“.....”

-“WAIT MAMMON WTF YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG, GET OUT OF MY ROOM-“

-I’m playing Minecraft

Satan:

-Believe it or not, Satan doesn’t care much about horror movies

-Don’t get me wrong, he loves watching his brothers shit their pants out of fear in the middle of one while he silently smirks to himself because watching other people suffer brings him euphoria

-Especially if someone actually manages to find a film that is excellent enough to spook Lucifer, because then he will be cackLING

-But, overall, he watches a lot of shows revolved around drama and crime

-That’s his thing

-However, he won’t turn you down if you’re up to watching a scary movie with him

-Any time spent with you is valuable time seeing as it won’t be long before his brothers start hogging you again like the cockblockers they are

-He is honestly surprised to find out you seem to be rather amused by those sort of movies

-So, even if it’s not inherently something he does on the regular, he would definitely watch a scary film with you if you enjoy them that much

-But in exchange, he makes you promise to read with him until bedtime rolls around (imagine Lucifer having a fucking curfew for his brothers and you lmao)

-So for the rest of night you guys just read together, ya know, like sappy romantics

-Tbh, this man will do almost anything with you as long as both of you are having fun

-He knows it’s not likely, but he insists on sleeping in the same room that night just in case you have nightmares and he needs to comfort you

- :)

-Satan is a gentleman. Idk how many people that don’t play OM expected to hear this

Asmo:

-Why would you want to watch a movie when you could be watching him???

-I mean, you would rather watch all that gory stuff on the TV than his beautiful face?

-He may get salty over a fucking movie tbh

-Horror films aren’t something he generally looks for while trying to pick a movie to watch

-He can definitely handle them better than Mammon but it’s not something he takes great pleasure in watching

-But the first time he ever sits down with you to watch one, he’s very intrigued to see your reactions

-You started feeling the sensation of absolute dread creep in at the very beginning and you were trying your best to act like you weren’t getting affected by what you saw on the screen

-But you were

-You went from “I’m grown ass adult, I can watch a fucking horror movie, no problem.”

-To “Welp, not enough of a grown ass adult for this-“

-And Asmo thought the way you tried to hide your nervousness was very mesmerising in a way

-He was planning on flirting with you during the movie anyway, but now that you were pressing himself against him?

-Oh boy, Oh boy

-“Darling if you wanted to touch me, you could’ve just said so. Making the excuse of watching a movie is unnecessary.”

-Nightmares? What nightmares? You won’t have time to have nightmares ;)

-haHAHA funny inappropriate joke

-It’s Asmo, it’s mandatory to have at least one of those added in here

Beel:

-Beel will show up if there’s food and that’s that

-He doesn’t care what type of movie is playing on the TV as long as he has a bucket of popcorn next to him at all times

-Horror films aren’t something he can’t handle, he’s a demon like the rest of his brothers and he is used to...violent deaths and such

-He doesn’t get scared but there are times where he gets attached to the characters

-Especially movies with actual good and not cringeworthy dialogue

-Therefore, when they die, he gets sad even if they’re just fictional and their death had no real impact

-He also thinks that the way you can watch these things without flinching is impressive

-I mean, he can watch it and so can his brothers because they are demons

-They’ve done worse things than the things you see in horror films

-But you’re a human! So it’s weird to see you watch a person get repeatedly slammed against a wall until their neck snaps without batting an eyelid

-Overall, he does not have an opinion on scary movies

-He gets a bit emotional when a character he really liked dies

-But other than that, he’s just focused on eating

-And occasionally patting your head affectionately

Belphie:

-He doesn’t really like horror films because there’s a lot of screaming and tense music and he’s just trying to nap in your lap (rhyme)

-He doesn’t really need sound effects like that in the background while he’s trying to sleep

-But one day he was like “Hey, what if I show my favourite human this particular scary film?”

-And he did

-And he’s internally dying and feeling guilty and yet so flustered because of you

-It’s like you suddenly turn into this very fidgety and anxious mess and he thinks you just look....cute

-At some point you were getting overwhelmed and sprung up on your feet to turn the lights on

-And he just grabbbed your wrists, pulled you down next to him and let you press your head against his chest

-As mentioned, he’s a little shit and will tease you for being such a scaredy cat

-“That was the most predictable jumpscare and you still flinched, wth is wrong with you lmao.”

-But at the same time....

-“Relax. It’s just a horror movie. You’ll be fine. Besides, I’m here. Like I would let something bad happen to you.”

-That’s sweet, even if the tone of voice may not imply it because he’s such a brat-

-He actually really likes holding you for once, because usually he’s the little spoon

-He’s still a bit of a sadist so I imagine him sitting there and watching this while giggling to himself

-Isn’t he the cutest, laughing at other people’s misery and their never ending suffering?🥺🥺🥺 UwU

-Ah well, at least he has the decency to spoil with affection afterwards and make sure you have no nightmares that night

-You know, as payback for the horrific shit he made you watch with no warning

————————————

OK, I think I made a decent job of this even though it took longer than it actually was meant to. Thank you for reading though. I’ve got so many requests to go through and I’ve been feeling motivated lately so yeah!

See you soon

Al~