#but hes kinda giving linguistics to me idk why

[bbgdefencelawyer]

so I did start college (British A Levels) this September and I've been rotating the idea of a OP (British) college AU in my head for like a week now.. yes its been done probably one billion million times but I have Thoughts okay

- Nami being picked up from a street gang and going from a career making maps for heists to pursuing cartography at A level

- Zoro doing some type of sports studies and attending a fencing club

- Sanji being forced to do business studies, economics and politics like the rest of his siblings before picking up an apprenticeship at the Baratie

- Chopper being a little kid who's so smart he came to college with a scholarship for medicine at the age of 13 - didn't even attend highschool and grew up in the mountains with Kureha

- Brook haunting the music room and being a famous musician who used to work at the college before he died

- Law taking medicine but also marine biology with the rest of the Heart Pirates

- Cora being an ex-mafioso that now teaches law

- Perona doing a textiles apprenticeship with Moria

- Yamato being a PE gym bro

[dnpbeats]

more phagenda theories ft. analysis of dan's story bc i am painfully unemployed

hi besties it's me again. i'm reaching the point of waiting for the announcement where it's like that tweet about the plate of corn in encanto. i decided to go back and watch dan and phil's first videos to see what frames they used to see if it would reveal anything intersting and well... it kinda does, but also this theory falls apart a bit towards the end so. take this with a grain of salt this is just for fun i'm just yapping it's not meant to be that serious etc etc

so starting with phil's video blog, i believe the frame is from about 0:41 or at least very very close to there (based on the position of phil's paper):

(side note but i don't wanna get too off track: 2 seconds after this is when phil's curtain blows which like obviously is from wind but maybe in another universe it's some kinda sci-fi fantasy spirit ghost thing idk)

this section of the video is when phil is reading off a question from his linguistics exam. we know from "teaching dan to speak" that if youtube hadn't worked out and phil actually used his degree, he was gonna be a forensic linguist. okay so now, what frame is used from hello internet? this one isn't quite as easy to pin down but my best approximation is at 0:37, or at least somewhere soon after that (going off of dan's placement in front of the door):

this is the section of the video immediately after dan gets done saying some "really good friends" he's made recently persuaded him to "give it [making videos] a shot" which like, we all know means phil. when i say immediately i mean he finishes saying that at 0:36

i just personally find this intersting because like. for phil's video why pick a frame of him reading an exam when you could've gone with the thumbnail or him looking at the camera or something? with dan, i at first thought it was the very beginning of hello internet, but it's definitely not based on the way he comes into frame. instead it's right after he says that phil persuaded him to make videos... so this brings me to the ripple effect/alternate universe idea a lot of people have been throwing around. what if they chose phil reading his linguistics exam bc they are going to explore a universe where he becomes a forensic linguist? and of course, if he didn't do that, then dan wouldn't have made his video, because the part where phil persuades him to give it a shot never happened (this is where we get into dinok territory). ok so how does this fit with the other two shots we can see? (i'm not including something we want to tell you bc it would be impossible to know exactly where in the video that shot is from, and ofc i can't include the mystery one 💔)

(warning this is where this starts to fall apart lmao) now obviously the one from gtpwtw is from the yoga section:

how does this fit in with the alternate universe/choices theory? well, this particular moment is right when dan is asking phil "top or bottom," which obviously in the moment is a joke and it's a really inconsequential question. however, it is a question nonetheless, with two possible outcomes 👀

for saying goodbye forever... i quite literally have nothing, the shot they chose has nothing going on it's just them standing there as priest sean walks in at about 0:35 💀💀

anyway yeah, assuming they consciously chose what shots of videos to include, it might give more validity to the multiverse idea, regardless of what medium they present it in! ofc this could also all mean nothing and i am just grasping at straws (10x more likely) i just thought it was intersting :)

[morganbritton132]

Idk if you’ve mentioned it before but what is everyone in the Party’s jobs?? We already know Erica is a kickass politician and Lucas is the family embarrassment doctor but what does everyone else do besides bug Steve lol?

Also is Dustin still with Susie or did that ship sail away in the EMTTS?? <333

So, fun fact about me: I am not a big fan of future AUs. I don’t particularly like reading them and I’ve never written one prior to the Tiktok Saga. I think the problem I have with them is that it’s really hard to determine where a character should be thirty-odd years down the road. How or why a one-off post about Eddie being bad with technology turned into all this, I do not know.

I don’t have everybody’s job picked out because I don’t really think about it until it’s relevant to the story, but luckily, I do spend way too much time thinking about this AU so I have few that haven’t been mentioned.

The ones that have been mentioned: Steve is a teacher, Eddie’s a musician, Nancy’s a journalist, Jonathan’s a photographer, Lucas is a doctor, and Erica is a senator.

I think Argyle owns a very successful marijuana dispensary in California where him and Jonathan live and it gives him the freedom to travel with Jonathan when he goes out of town for business. Argyle just has the vibe that should not be working a nine-to-five. Also, I think that Argyle as an old man stoner with long completely gray hair is just so cool.

Robin is also a teacher, but she teaches at a university in the linguistics department. She spoke four languages when she joined the party, she now speaks nine. She’s written a book. She has a kickass rating on Rate My Professor. She’s likely the front runner to take over the department once the current dean retires next year.

I really like the idea of Max becoming a physical therapist. She had a long road to recovery after Venca and spent over a year in physical therapy just learning how to walk again. She knows what it’s like. She knows when and how hard to push her patients, and she’s good at the job. This also makes Max a doctor so Erica includes Max when she says that Lucas is the worst Sinclair.

I’m less defined on what kind of careers that Will, Mike, and El have. I just haven’t found a job that I’m like, yes, that makes perfect sense for that character. I do think that Will has a career where he can be creative and that he’s successful, I just haven’t narrowed it down to what exactly he does.

Mike and El, on the other hand, I have no idea. I mentioned before that Mike had a band that opened up for Eddie on CC’s first national tour and I imagine that he did one summer or during his gap year before college (if he went to college). El, I like to think, travels a lot and has got to see the world and be free of the responsibility of saving the world. But those two, I think, are tough to pin down to a specific career.

Now, for Dustin.

Dustin has had a very successful career as a researcher and his career has taken him all over the world. Now what exactly does he research? That’s up to you. This man is a scientist and that’s all Steve and Eddie can tell you about Dustin’s job because it’s just over of their heads. He loves it and that’s all they need to know.

Dustin and Suzie are currently not together. They have dated off and on since they’ve known each other and have always split on good terms. It has just always been the wrong time for them because when they’re together, they’re great. They hit it off and decide to start dating again, and then they just get busy. They’re both top of their field and work crazy long hours all over the world, and the cost of that is their relationship.

I think they both kinda know that one day, they’ll meet up at the right time, but for now, they’re good friends and they date other people. Steve thinks that they’re soulmates and he’ll randomly give Dustin an update that Suzie is single again. Dustin is always like, “How do you know that?”

“We’re friends on Facebook.”

[the-gay-prometheus]

A Compilation of Frankenstein Book Covers I Discovered Today Whilst Trying to Find How The Full Title Is Typically Written, and My Ratings of Each

Starting off strong with this masterpiece, which apparently was originally an art piece about The Plague:tm:. I can't blame whoever decided this should be Frankenstein cover art, because going based on the description alone, the main figure do kinda look like the Creature. However, if I had no idea what Frankenstein was about and I opened this book to discover that the creature does not in fact ride around with a winged snake beast and does not in fact terrorize towns on said beast while wielding a crooked scythe, I would be extremely disappointed.

3/10

Sick as fuck. This may not be how the creature was described in the book but now it's how he's being described in my heart.

500/10

Who gave victor that beard

-infinity/10

Extremely offensive that somebody took a picture of me and used it as a cover for a copy of Frankenstein without my permission. I would've said yes if they had just asked. Adding bonus points for @mist-the-wannabe-linguist's caption though

5/10

It's giving vibes but idk what those vibes are. I like his kind eyes though.

???/10

This is probably the most sensible cover on this list but I can't get over Victor just pointing at the Creature like "YOU!!!1!!" and the Creature just being like "Who, me?"

Creature's Thick Fucken Legs/10 (my guy literally did not skip leg day ever)

BONUS ROUND

This isn't a cover but it definitely explains why Victor said "nah fuck this shit i'm out" when he saw the Creature staring at him in bed after that nightmare.

32 pearly whites/10

And finally, this is one I found a long time ago but it is absolutely legendary so I'm including it in this list

Literally the cover of all time. Absolutely zero flaws. I have no idea who or what this is supposed to be or why they look like that but they are perfect.

1,000,000,000,000/10

[deathonthe]

ferrari parked outside | 1633

pairing: charles/max

rating: explicit

word count: ~5000

tags: established relationship, slightly non-linear narrative, under-negotiated kink, somnophilia, riding

summary:

Max is an embarrassing amount of gin and tonics into the night when Lando shouts very loudly into his ear. “Does Charles pay for everything for you?” “What?” Max shouts back. “I mean like– Seems like he’s always paying for you, mate,” Lando says. Holds both hands up in the air and dubiously glances to the side. “Not that I’m judging or anything.” “He doesn’t pay for everything,” Max lamely insists.

director's cut:

the following are my notes and thoughts during the writing of this fic. they should in no way influence the way you've interpreted it! but feel free to read it to gain some extra insight into my pea-sized brain

ok. one thing u should know about me is that i will constantly push the max verstappen babygirl agenda no matter what. sugar baby max is pretty adjacent to that

i spent an awful about of time deciding the opening scene, between first scene (B) and the following directly after (A), idk how many times i swapped the two. i was afraid if i started off with B, it would kinda give a tacky record scratch effect when u reach A. but starting with A made the progression into B seem unnatural and too abrupt so. in the end i went with B, then A because the fic gradually loses its seriousness and matches the kinda light humour it progresses into

the line "I want chocolates and those bread rolls they bake fresh." took me a god awful amount of time to write. at first i wanted max to specify a monte carlo cafe to make it seem more genuine but all the reviews for cafes in monaco were in french! which i suppose i should've expected. in the end i went with that even though i'm not completely happy with it

another thing u should know about it is that i care about character voice and characterisation above all else. i try my best to emulate how these people sound. i always sift through so much interview material while writing a fic to try and get the drivers' voice tones and linguistic quirks and body language as accurately and naturally as possible. and too be honest, i don't think i did that very well in this fic. i think i could have imitated it better

a little bit of french, of course. they live in monaco, charles speaks french. max doesn't speak enough, so not quite as much french as other fics (for example, for esteban and lance, i would generally write about half of their dialogue in french if they were only speaking to each other in a scene. it feels more authentic as esteban and lance communicate in french when they are talking to each other in real life)

i designated charles three terms of endearment: baby, cheri and mon cher

nothing made me happier than when it became canon that max calls charles 'charlie' in real life, because i was gonna scrap it from the fic because i thought it sounded ooc

to be clear, i never intended to give charles a daddy kink in this fic. you can assume he doesn't have one. neither does max

the running joke is that this is actually a proposal fic and not a sugar baby one

in the lando scene, when max cuts him off before he can finish his sentence, lando is about to say: "and charles also paid for martjin to dj at this red bull party for u." i wasn't sure if the implication was very strong, though

in actuality, max cuts off lando with a "fuck off" and lando says later "why the fuck would i be, charles isn't my fucking boyfriend" but i thought that was too many fucks and ended up taking all but one of them out

i know charles doesn't drive a red laferrari

the other running joke in this fic is obviously charles is not ever watching the whale documentary seriously. he was instead always thinking or focused on something else in his head

the ice cream scene came to me in a fever dream

charles can't actually procure the cheesecake factory, he's about $125 million in net worth. the cheesecake factory is over $1 billion

i am not a fan (i.e., i am actually just a hater) of when max is depicted like an aggressive, overly possessive, hyper-masculine suave, dom caricature from an e l james erotica novel and when charles is just delegated the softer, more feminine counterpart automatically. so. u see me subverting that expectation a lot

i had a lot of fun writing victoria's part where she cooks both charles and max within 100 words

did you know this fic is exactly 14 pages on google docs? i thought that was pretty cool

if i had to sum up this fic in three words: chekov's schrodinger's proposal

thanks for staying 'til the end!

[feuqueerfire]

Pit Babe Live Blogging

This show is finally ending, I've been stopping myself from starting it since like December I think when I saw Tiktoks from those early episodes (honestly younger, cute boytoy top Charlie who is so beautiful to me had a hand in that lol). The chatter also seems to really like the show, maybe unexpectedly for quite a few people (also I think at least a certain amount of it is for the side ship? Alan and Jeff or something? who I know nothing about because I only really know some plot points until like ep 4 or smth because I'd look up Tiktoks)

So I really hope I like it! I've only been like "meh, sure" for the 3 shows/movies I've watched so far this month, so I'd love it if this one lives up to my expectations.

Ep 1 (Feb 7)

girl what's going on? okay we're starting with fucking but he's gotta blow off steam bc his senses are too sensitive? Or what's going on?

alpha smell, i died

ohhh dubcon sexual coercion racer/fan hookup as payment <3333

charlie doesn’t have a smell (smth about an enigma in the tiktok comments?) and babe can’t stand alpha scent

fuck off iqiyi ad, right in the middle of the scene

i wonder if Charlie does have ulterior motives other than the car bc tiktok comments hinted at it but i stopped looking at them after a couple eps so didn’t find out

ohhh the objectification and using Charlie as a bet is a doozy

Charlie talking about not exploiting Babe is the funniest shit ever

random villain

I need to sleep almost 2am agh - 28m

back the next morning hehe

Why is this guy who seems to be around the same age as everybody else being called Uncle and referring to himself as old man lmfao is it like how Gumpa was maybe supposed to be older than he was in Not Me?

oh, i like these scenes actually, I usually have a 50-50 on whether I'll skip through these makeout/NC scenes but I'm watching these lmao

Babe being so irritable/standoffish after an orgasm is so funny like why lol

kalsdfjlk;asfjlk;asdfj talking about roleplaying as a maid/wearing maid costume/Charlie calling Babe master omg

Babe doesn't know how to appreciate maid Charlie, give him to me instead

the holes in the walls of Babe's house are so funny like what

Also how old are these people? I think I remember a Tiktok of Charlie going to uni (and Babe following him because he's suspicious lol) and I'm guessing Babe is a couple years older than that?

[Linguistics] Pom and Phi for Charlie while Gu and Mueng for Babe

Babe calling Charlie docile awooga

So was the villain whose face we kinda saw earlier the UAC Corp leader? Tony Chen?

"report about Babe"

okay I'm reading the on-air thread for this on r/boyslove and some people are like hmmm about their chemistry so far and are like why is the NC stuff so tame/vague but personally... I can watch the NC scenes when it's like this, so it's going well in my books lol rip, though I kinda assume it might get more heated in the later eps? Also hm idk about Charlie and Babe's chemistry, it seems fine but not magnetic/magical yet.

Also people in that thread seem to have little to no experience with omegaverse or have mostly read alpha/omega and also seem confused about what's allowed vs not allowed when in fact, there's no rigid rules with omegaverse because it's a literal fanfic concept and you can make it whatever you want. Personally, I haven't read any original book/manhua/etc. with omegaverse but am so well-versed in fanfic a/b/o lol a/a o/o a/o are all great, sometimes with a beta though beta/x do tend to be quite rare, even more than a/a and o/o I feel like?? Also have read OT3 a/b/o or a/a/o or a/o/o etc. Love all the different types of fics omegaverse has to offer: the 4k explicit fics and 20k romances and 60k of criticizing society/trying to break out of the rigid molds/mirroring real world issues/etc. Traditional, medium trad-nontrad, and nontraditional omegaverse can all also be interesting and good.

I'm expecting this one to just be like the 20k kinda non-traditional romances w/ a/a.

Ep 2 (Feb 7)

Oh Tony Chen investor is Babe's literal father?

The fiery flashback transitions lmao

Babe's adoptive father

What's Charlie planning?

the menopause comment is so interesting cuz wtf do you even mean but I'm pretty sure I'm also heard it in reference to men in other BLs maybe Thai ones? So it's probably a different word that refers to a similar thing but not exactly menopause

working for free, not suspicious at all lol

This new repairman kid tuning the car to have more horsepower or whatever is reminding me of a high school class where we were doing AutoCAD and stuff but then also had to ?? create a digital car but neither my partner nor I knew shit about cars so we were fr just trying out whatever and seeing the specs go up and down

[Linguistics] Alan addressing Jeff as Nuu lol

lol the germophobe so I don't touch anybody thing

I did think Jeff and Charlie were working together so this makes sense but I thought the guy who was scheming with Charlie was the same age as him but he calls Charlie Phi and is 20 years old (so Charlie's older than that)

Wait Alan just said Jeff and Charlie are the same age? But Jeff called Charlie Phi, so did Jeff age himself up by a year or two?

Did nobody notice how weird Jeff and Charlie were behaving toward each other?

Why'd they zoom in on Way like that when mentioning the UAC Corp

dang, what plan Jeff and Charlie got cooking up

What is this random physical fight that's Charlie's doing lol

Didn't like the camera work during that fight scene, keep it still

And also this one Red Racing member's an annoying character as he's meant to be but the acting itself annoys me

ahh, Charlie choosing the car he knows is Babe's favourite and Way being like Babe doesn't let anybody get in it but Babe letting Charlie borrow it

"I'm Pit Babe, I don't decide on the wrong people" is crazy omg I hate such expectations

Ouchhhh terrible driving lesson flashbacks when my instructor would yell at my stupidity from the passenger seat like this lmfao

Ouch lol Way being like haha what if I fell in love w you and Babe being like lmfaoooo if we were gonna have sparks, it would've happened long ago

Is Way not an Alpha? why did Babe say I'm good with just chewing alphas? Or did he mean he'd rather do that than fall in love with them?

Alan and Jeff barely exist so far beyond Jeff ignoring Alan and everybody laughing about it but I'm into it. The age difference + Nuu thing is also uh good

The Glances that Alan and Babe share whenever Way's talking and kinda sidelining Charlie makes me think that Babe must know that Way likes him, right?

Red Racing aka the team Tony Cheng (Babe's foster father) is investing in wants to poach Babe?

Saw through some reblog's novel spoiler tags that Jeff's an omega

Ep 3 (Feb 8)

Pouty, whiny, dramatic Charlie and Babe's smile peaking through at the act so cutee

Aw, our tough guy sad backstory

damn, tf he fostered a bunch of kids and did what with them

unexpected telekenesis - if I hadn't been spoiled through a post like 2 hours ago about how it just randomly appears in ep 3, I would've been shocked lmfao

and Babe breaks his no kissing rule

Jeff’s reaction after the sniff kiss from Alan akhdjaja threw him off fr

Alan’s hiding that Pete will take % of price money? or is that just understood?

tbh i dint rlly get the investment and returns cuz the show doesn’t explain it like why couldn’t they do smaller races before but now they can? cause of cost to join the race and fuel and whatever else needed for it without the guaranteed winning money to subsidize it? would it be so expensive to do that they couldn’t go to smaller races at all without investments? how were they doing it before this though like why does it matter if red racing is getting this investment, how does that mean x hunter can’t do the same stuff they’ve done so far?

Ah, I've seen tiktoks of the suspicion and Babe following Charlie

Can Babe tell that it's Jeff

damn girl, how are these thoughts even come into your mind as you drive such at high speed with high concentration

Winner is such annoying character I really cant

Ah, so the driving accident wasn't in this ep but ep 4 I guess

Lol caught a glimpse of the next ep preview and I remember seeing people discuss whether the Way and Babe talking about being boyfriends in the preview is in the past vs present (It looks like the past to me)

This show must actually be insane to watch on air, first the surprise omegaverse and now surprise telekenesis

I understand Way's suspicion of Charlie and he's right to be lol but the way he talks about how nobody cares about him and Babe and Babe shouldn't get too close to people is... I wonder if he really has power to hypnotize through touch bc I did see murmurs about that on the tiktok comments. And I didn't think about this, but Way should've waited a couple days to mention to Babe the results of stalking Charlie since it'll affect Babe's performance

Ep 4 (Feb 9)

Annoyed that I was too busy today to actually watch more than an episode yesterday and I think it'll be the same case today, maybe I'll try to squeeze in 1.5 eps.

Is Babe specifically not mentioning seeing him and Jeff together because he wants Charlie to come clean himself?

Damn, Way really is clutching Babe's arm as he tells him to be alone and not trust in love

Babe so mean for pulling that "shall I be your bf?" thing on Way aksdfj

also young Babe is sooo pretty omg

mopey sad Babe :(

How did Charlie get there?

Oh, Jeff watching but unable to outwardly show concern for Charlie in front of everybody

would Tony do this fr though? I thought it was fuckass Winner

Damn, Winner tryna bribe someone to cut the fluid line or smth in Babe's car idk what that means but sounds bad. stopped by Kim but Winner does say he didn't send those people to beat Babe up, so did Tony really do it? Did Charlie...?

Charlie's endless cooking for Babe ahh

Jeff and Alan hehe

Oh yeah lol Babe's upset at Jeff cuz he thinks Charlie went behind his back w Jeff

woah Jeff can see the future via touch?!?! No wonder he was averse to touching so cool

So does this mean that Charlie and Jeff were also in that house raised by Tony along with Babe? The kids were all separated from each other, so it'd make sense if Babe didn't know them. Interesting

The Tony and Co. have been looking for somebody with Beyond Group Pete's power for a long time? Archery? Hand-eye coordination?

Finally, the car crash. Not much happened this ep tbh since it's continuation of last ep's tensions but hopefully we'll move forward at a faster pace now, either in terms of relationship or plot. I also stopped checking the tiktoks at this point, so I don't know as much now and haven't really seen stuff after this except stuff I've already mentioned like Enigma Charlie? Omega Jeff?

omegaverse + racecar + xmen powers & evil father foistering said powers

Agh, fuck, people are writing novel spoilers obviously and accidentally saw it I think say "Charlie and [Babe I'm guessing] have the same evil foster dad" well the on-air thread people who guessed this like 2 eps ago were correct, gj

Ep 5 (Feb 9)

hmm is it indeed somebody on X Hunter who betrayed Babe? I refuse Charlie and Jeff, would Way do it? Would Tony?

Did Jeff go to that car at night in secret because he wanted to try to prevent the fire since he saw it in that vision?

I mean Alan’s not completely wrong, though Way and Dean came off real strong

exploiting Jeff’s sadness for an ad smh

the person avoided the cameras seeing his face as if he knows where they are…

Pete being like “I thought you guys had a mole and didn’t know”

oh i went to ep 4 on air discussion and ppl were discussing whether charlie can suppress powers/steal powers apparently shown in teaser for this ep and immediately as soon i start this again we get Babe being like why can’t i sense you

choosing Charlie (guy who barely just started training and has never done an actual race before) to take Babe’s place is crazy esp amongst others who may not be good but have actual experience before being thrown into the deep end

well at least they’re gonna test Charlie

wdym? Isn’t Babe too hurt to do a fucking competition?

getting v strong insider job vibes but idk if they’ll make it be Way (suspicious), Dean (suspicious just cuz he’s eager to side w Way), or the youtuber dudes (they seem useless and it’d be boring if it was them)

Ep 6 (Feb 10)

Well, at least they still made Babe win by a fair amount while rookie Charlie who has never competed won by a hair compared to junior Dean who doesn't really win

The directing was bad in this though i literally couldn't tell who was ahead because the cars look the fucking same

Charlie looks sooo good with the kinda mushroom hair here idk omg

What even is this argument? Dean is not acting well here and somehow neither is Alan even though Alan's been fine thus far, though he hadn't had to express too many outward emotions until now

Oof, Way watching Babe walk away from him down to Charlie and going with him

so does this cafe thing happen often or no? and in which countries? First Twinkling Watermelon also had some "story" about their table that the guy had submitted for Se Kyeong and now here Alan did a apology thing for Jeff

Ahh it's so cringe but I'm kinda into it, idk esp the way Jeff keeps trying to not smile

babe and charlie looking at stars scene so romantic

omg children

sorry this mama papa thing is killing me so bad

it’s also killing babe lol he keeps laughing during the roleplay

actually okay idk role playing as each other during the first meeting is kinda fun fr and them giggling through it hehe so cute

Pete watching Way drink at the bar?

Dean so annoying

What did Pete see in Babe's future?!

Ah, publicly saying they're bfs but rip Way

Babe doing that smoke thing was crazy cuz if I was Way, I'd be like damn is he boutta step out of his relationship with me rn

ouch ouch ouch ouch

Unrequited crush on a friend is so saddd even though Way's being annoying about it

broooo that spot when Babe and Way are sitting on the car, looking at the sky - is that the same spot Babe took Charlie?

man, ouch!

I seriously wish the subs were better man

but Babe and Charlie were so cute this ep hehe >.< and Babe was just sooo smiley

I want Charlie to get some more personality soon though because we don't know shit about him and I also can't tell what's genuine vs not with him since he's so secretive

Ep 7 (Feb 10)

Ah, so Babe indeed feels suffocated by how Way tells him to be alone and feels like he can't love anybody

I don't get it, I thought Jeff touching Babe would mean he sees Babe's future, so how can that guy lying in the car not be Babe?

Oof, Way and Pete

Also, I try to track when someone's putting on shoes for a romantic partner/candidate but taking off shoes is also so good and intimate, like now Pete taking Way's shoes off

Are Kim and Kenta supposed to ba thing? Can't remember but hope Kenta stops being Tony's laptop someday

As expected, it was Tony's doing

omggg so many things happening at once, exciting

Kim doing a little investigating to find that Tony sells his kids and Babe's the highest price

and also he called Babe to the place he knew that Charlie would be meeting Tony and Kenta omg

and Tony asking about Jeff

oh yeah lol Babe last ep being like since you're Charlie's nong/brother, you're my nong too :) at Jeff like girl first of all Charlie is also your adopted brother technically so let's not get too familial here lol

Tony seeing Charlie and Babe's interaction... Also, I wonder why Tony doesn't know that Jeff is a mechanic at X-Hunter c'mon

On that note, I also wish Charlie had somehow blurted out that Babe shouldn't tell anybody about Jeff being Tony's son also or tell anybody about Jeff's location

Aw, crying and regretful Babe and heartbroken too

Charlie just SAY it while following Babe around instead of being like P'Babe x10 and asking him to listen/being like let me explain. LIKE JUST EXPLAIN BRUH

Charlie doesn't have a power for real or it's just a power like stealing/suppressing powers that Tony's teachers couldn't sense? especially because Charlie specifically mentioned that Babe was just buying time by running away since they were still after his powers - so maybe Charlie thinks the solution is to suppress those powers and that's why Babe doesn't have them anymore

sorry what are we even talking about right now, they're suggesting that Tony intends to get an Enigma (different even more powerful sort of alpha - 1%) to impregnate Babe????? Because that child will be even more powerful? Like what are we doing right now klajsdflkasdjfk

But anyway, this means no hope of Omega Jeff? Since apparently only Alphas have powers.

Kenta doing these "mistakes" with being sloppy enough so that Kim can find evidence + letting Charlie live with Babe... is he on their side?

Oh, Charlie did indeed make Babe's sense disappear by absorbing/stealing it (and being able to do it so well because he's closer to Babe)

ow ow ow ow owowoowowowowowowoow owwwww Babe thinking back to the first night and how Charlie touched him

oh my goddd all their encounters T.T

tf Charlie can't return Babe's powers unless he dies? no way...

girl why is Charlie even thinking of reconciliation right now, you just told Babe all this stuff you hid from him including the way you stole his powers and can't give it back unless you die

stop, I'm really annoyed by this tone change, this is not the time for mama/papa, I want Babe to blow up on Charlie now to dare to make light of the situation and how much Babe's hurting

ah I can't even appreciate the making up T.T

Also, is the fact that Charlie's not mentioning Jeff gonna be considered a secret later on?

Way waiting for their dinner which he took as a date to the sentimental restaurant vs Babe riding Charlie in the car on the road with the roof down

okay sorry this is a whole lot, too much in fact um

Bro Way gotta escape cuz Babe is fr stringing him along for too long let's end this, make some bad decisions but in terms of drinking too much/fucking random people (Pete) but not hypnotizing Babe or anything. and then, let's move on

broooo why are Alan and Babe just discussing Tony and everything in the garage where there are other people

I thought Babe realized that Way liked him... does he not?

woah soooo much info

Wish there was actually more angst/longer drawn out period before reconciliation because Babe would need time to come to terms with everything. but oh well

The spoilers I found right now while going through gifs is that: Apparently Way is the Enigma that Tony's planning to use to impregnate Babe... I'd seen hints that Way is evil/does something against Babe and if we're going with the fact that he has hypnosis through touch powers, then he'd been with Tony but the fact that he's the enigma was new to me

Ep 8 (Feb 10)

Aw fuck, I keep watching this instead of doing my much-needed work D:

Kenta has to somehow not let Kim get killed and his organs harvested right

Aw, Jeff telling Alan his secret special power

Way talking about revenge and being a bad person and doing what he was originally supposed to do...

ahh Charlie not telling Babe about Jeff's vision is scary, even though Charlie consoling Jeff is nice

omg blood everywhere enough investigating let's leaveee

First time seeing Charlie use his powers and he uses it to be kinda stupid lol

Did Tony pick up on the fact that Babe lost his powers?

Ken? Do Pete and Kenta know each other?

Damn, Jeff's visions, he's getting them without touching anybody?

Also, how are you sneaking around in Tony's house lol cameras gotta be everywhere

ah, I wish I wasn't spoiled about Enigma way cuz I might've been like gasp but actually probably not since I already knew about Way being from the other side

Jeff no don't get caught

the fact that Charlie is still like -khap at the end of his sentences with Babe despite having fucked like 50 times and being boyfriends and also having held secrets from him is funny

they're doing doctor/patient roleplay while jeff's in trouble D:

ah, all the plans in front of Way

This must be a trap as well right, set up by Way? I'm afraid Andy's gonna get killed or smth? Or even if it's not a proper dangerous trap, like a trap t somehow save them to gain trust?

Why did they even get out of that room though lol

Winner's soooo annoying, like not even an intriguing semi-antagonist like Way, just irritating and bad at acting

North, Sonic don't both go into the cell cuz what if it's locked from outside

They left Kim again? man...

Jeff I believe in you

Ep 9 (Feb 10)

Charlie can't you at least once wonder where Jeff is? WHAT ABOUT YOUR BROTHER? Literally everybody at the garage is staying at Alan's except Jeff?

you know Tony's looking for Jeff and you're just chill about the fact that neither you nor Alan can contact him? Man, cmon Charlie wtf

girl not Babe finding out about Pete being an Enigma at this place where they're auctioning kids D: and then Immediately going to tell Way about it bruhhh

aw fuckkk not Way hypnotizing Babe when Babe's at the auction place alone with Way and has just found out about Way beingthe Enigma through Charlie. I hope Pete comes out and sees them

ahhhhh aklsdfjalks;fj ewewew I can't watch this like I watched 0.2 seconds of it in the reflection and no aghhh and Babe's sad face in that reflection T.T

Or I hope Charlie immediately goes to Way's apartment or smth after informing Alan of what happened

okay at least Charlie did come

This is so fucking sad, poor Babe D:

And every Babe and Way montage is so sad, first when Way was going through his heartbreak and now because Babe got sexually assaulted by Way agh

abusive father Tony fr but also what power or whatever does he have? He said Way's Enigma can't compete with me

man, this is so fucking sad, the way Babe's trust in me people is shattered and doesn't wanna be betrayed again

Anyway, Charlie learned than his brother Jeff was captured by Tony and crew but has called him and hasn't heard from or seen him since, he should be a little more concerned about him I think

Well, it's good that apparently Jeff is all good and safe

Alan and Jeff are sooo cute, espp because age gap but Alan and Jeff are both so skittish lol... Jeff asking if he can be Alan's boy is crazy though

what are Charlie and Jeff planning, yikes

Also, Charlie being like okay at least father doesn't know that my powers will go back to Babe if I die... so if he fakes his death, Babe still wouldn't have the powers back but the father wouldn't find it questionable?

Is Dean trustworthy?

Ah, this time Charlie getting overwhelmed with the senses and Babe helping me out with an orgasm... romance <3

why is the sex scene surrounded by the car race lmfaooo I kinda wanted to see it and choose to skip parts if it was too much for me, not have it spliced

Ah, they spoiled that Dean's a traitor/snake in the preview, that's dumb smh

oh omg, okay I remember seeing some stuff about main character death in Pit Babe just a few weeks ago (esp when Last Twilight was ending) but as I started this, I was like hm this doesn't seem to track, maybe that was about The Sign. But now I just glimpsed the words "The cross on Charlie's grave [...]" in a text post and seems like this really is for Pit Babe. Not to mention that Jeff and Charlie's plans seem to involve Charlie's death, though I'm assuming it's a faked death.

Ep 10 (Feb 10)

I'm dreading the scene from last ep's teaser where Charlie is against Babe driving and Babe's like you don't have any faith in me? I'm so disappointed in you

ouchhh "you don't believe in my skills" because of the lack of sense? ah it's true like charlie can't control babe just because he wishes babe well but I'm nervous that Charlie planned something terrible what with their plans and Charlie dying/disappearing

ah yep, Charlie's plan is to flip the car over, so scary but Jeff knows at least.

dang, did Babe not finish his lap and just came off in the middle of his last lap? Makes sense, I didn't expect the car to be right there

Jeff's pretending that he did that to Charlie's car to kill him in order to get Tony to do something on his end? Or does Tony also know Charlie's not dead?

Bro what the fuck what do you even mean that Babe got his senses back

This is actually devastating for real

How has Kenta not turned his back to Tony yet fr

Also, so I guess Jeff was telling Tony that he'd crash Charlie's car + with Kenta's help but Jeff was really planning on it killing Charlie

Babe's "I don't want my senses back, I don't want anything back. I just want charlie back" askldfjaskdlfjsadf owwwwwww

This montage is so fucked up

Oh, can you walk over the grave just like that to give the flowers omg? I'd be like D: there's somebody's corpse right underneath my feet and I'm stepping on them...

fuckkk this grave scene is also so devastating

Jeff really and truly is the only person getting anything done, so he got Kim in exchange for the Charlie thing?

girl, not the Jeff and Alan flirting in the midst of devastation. cute thought :( jeff being so done with Alan's inability to flirt that he has to do it himself here too

aklsdfja;sdlkf ow Jeff so cute, coming back to give him a little kiss on the side of the mouth and then running away

The fuck, Dean hit Babe with a HAMMER?!?!?! to the head

So was it Jeff (or Kenta w/ Jeff) who punctured the oil rigg while Dean did something else (gas smth?). or was it that Dean and Kenta together cut the gas line to crash the car but Jeff punctured the oil rig to kill Charlie?

Oh man, the fucking devastation. How did people who watch weekly go through this fr? I wonder... if I could get away with just looking at Pit Babe archive tags or if I'm gonna be spoiled with ep 11/book spoilers... ig I'll try to be very careful? agh idk

Also, I wonder how they're pulling off this fake death if Babe got his senses back? And we saw the dead body? Though ofc Jeff "took care of everything" on his own afterwards so we didn't see him be buried or anything but yknow

Ep 11 (Feb 11)

Good morning, time to watch the show and hopefully finish it toda

Man, I would've rooted more for Way/Pete if Way wasn't gonna rape Babe when he got the chance... makes me a hypocrite since I'm a Vegas/Pete enjoyed but yknow

Oh my bad, seems like Dean did stuff to the gas lines but Jeff had done stuff to the brakes

Ooh, okay, we get to see Charlie already

ugh so did Kenta tell Dean to do stuff to the break lines? I thought Dean did gas

who is this Uncle Reval and what's his backstory? Anything to do with Babe? He's not his father or something right?

lol a secret drug that fake-kills you and gives Babe his powers back

so what's the plan after this? How we catching Tony guys?

Ah, I love Alan and Jeff :( And Jeff telling Alan to think a lot because he knows he's the one who made Charlie's car crash like that + is hiding Charlie from them all

They sometimes treat Jeff like he's a mourning brother and other times they don't lol

Oh that bracelet with the A is crazy like oh Alan you're marking him laksfj oh and he's got one with J, very presumptuous to wear it first before letting Jeff know but loll I guess he's finally stepping up in the flirting department and not leaving it all to Jeff

I can't believe we're not getting proper Omega Jeff though, so he's just Alpha :(

Why did Jeff say I like no love you and Alan's like I got it already and didn't say it back

Jeff's actor is 28 and Alan's is 30, I wish at least Jeff's one was like 20 (That's Charlie's actor's age) so that we could at least feel the difference in age when they're talking as if there's a big age gap cmon

omg sorry the "Nuu, cooperate" "How?" was so good in terms of experience gap

okay Enough, this is going on forever actually lol

ah, Kenta and Pete were playmates and brothers while growing up in that house, thus the Ken and familiarity before when Ken had his knife to Pete's throat

Does Pete not a special power other than just being an Enigma?

oh ngl I thought they were finally doing a pair of Tony's kids who actually saw each other as siblings and not as lovers lmfao but seems like Kenta liked Pete

God why did they leave this dynamic for the end, Kenta crying (or is it just intense sweat?) while trying to harm/maim/kill Pete and thinking of their times together, it's the perfect dynamic - ToddBlack & VegasPete vibes

Wild turn from last week (Babe's still devasted though, I knew I could trust him) and it's like glad AlanJeff is finally happening but it's really happening a few days after Jeff's brother died lol

Also okay idk how to feel about Alan and Jeff sex scene cuz it's like... Alan is very subtly pressuring Jeff just a little? Like when Jeff was like shouldn't we get to know each other a little? but Alan's like that's for later bc he's so intent on fucking Jeff tonight. + the "Nuu, cooperate" when I guess he thought Jeff didn't want to let him take off his pants. the thing issss I could be so into age gap slightly dubcon, slightly immoral relationships but that's not how it's presented here + Jeff's supposed to be in mourning, so idk how I'm supposed to take this

Ep 12 (Feb 11)

Please please please please please Kenta and Pete scenarios and scenes and moments please please please idec if it's a happy or sad ending

agh no i don't want peteway anymore i want petekenta

oh Pete can read minds, woah

Aw shucks, they're kidnapping Jeff

Is the sense going back to Charlie and disappearing from Babe?

girl every 3 hours? that's all it takes before Charlie's senses start coming back from Babe?

okay I'm sorry but literally why are you bringing Way to meet Babe randomly like that fucker would've raped Babe and gotten him pregnant to forcibly make him have kids like we as the audience could be like oh tortured angsty Way but why is Pete randomly bringing Way to meet Pete. Anyway, Kenta now also knows Way's on Pete's side so it's not necessarily like Way can infiltrate the other side either unless Kenta keeps his lips sealed

ah I wonder who is "working for" Tony now...

Pete, Babe, Kenta, and Way lmao for sure there are not gonna be any betrayals and this team isn't gonna go up in flames. It'd be hilarious if Kenta does manage to finally join the other side but Way or something betrays them

Sorry that I was thinking of kicking Kenta (in a fun sexual way) while he was kneeling down like that and then Tony actually did it (in a mean abusive way but I was unfortunately into it)

oh my god okay sorry this is actually so devastating that Kenta is learning how the man who he's ready to give his life for doesn't see him as a son but as a dog but I'm actually losing my mind at his kneeling and crying and begging and getting kicked and giving his hand like a dog gives its paw

Did they also leave the bag this time? Girl, they're so bad at rescuing Kim and not retrieving the bag

I like don't even want Way and Babe reconciliation for real, so I'm glad we're not getting that already at least

ah, as expected he's Babe's father

All these people know that they're buying the kids right? Is it gonna be like Gifted when they're like making a disruption to let the world know what's really going on but they all already know?

Alan trying to drag Jeff away while Jeff wants to protect the kids, this uncle man is annoying me lately

Charlie just zooming in at the end lmfao

The lack of Charlie and Babe was so interesting. Like yeah, makes sense that the two wouldn't be together in Ep 11 and 12 but we got so much airtime for side characters in these 2 eps but it didn't make me feel like no, go back to the mains, because there are so many characters and threads here. And even gave me Kenta and PeteKenta brain rot in these 2 eps.

Ep 13 (Feb 11)

Last episode, like 50 mins long and I don't know what I'm hoping for. like at first, the show was mostly about Babe and Charlie and I want a good closure for them too, esp after like 3 episodes without them together. But I'm randomly so invested in like Kenta now and I don't know what I want from that end. I don't care that much about Alan and Jeff anymore, unfortunately but I'm guessing we'll get some time with them too. Also want to see how the huge and elaborate child trafficking ring is dealt with.

Bro stop explaining everything right now and escape, even though I get Babe's conflicting emotions of "am I dreaming?" unbelievable amounts of happiness and confusion at why Charlie fakes his death

Kenta okayyy

damn, the reaction to the socmed vids seem dumb from Tony's part but who knows

loll Sonic dgaf about pushing away Winner's gun

What happened to all the other patrons and guards?

ah, you did it Kenta even though you cried, you still killed your father. stabbed him in the back, poetry

oof, rip Way

Man, these scenes of Way dying and everybody mourning him at his grave are objectively sad (esp the Way and Babe compilation again) but I don't care as much about him as I did in the earlier eps when he was going through his unrequited crush but before he attacked Babe

The part with Babe and his dad is so sad man but I hope this is heading toward a better future

Charlie and Babe will never stop having public sex and they shouldn't

negl for a second I got scared that they were implying Babe's pregnant or smth like what

Y'know I realize that Charlie and the other drivers a bit of a public figure, does nobody in their audience wonder why Charlie's not dead suddenly? Or was that not public knowledge, just that Charlie crashed real bad

public-ass kiss frr

Where is Kenta? my beloved

Overall:

This show had everything: non-traditional alpha/alpha relationship (w concepts I wasn't aware of like Enigmas but somehow no Omegas lol), racecar competitions, x-men like superpowers (heightened senses, stealing powers, hypnosis, mind reading, telling the future), child trafficking, pseudo-incest if you think about it (from Kenta's side at least) and more. And it didn't have a super strong script, there were nonsensical elements and plot holes that didn't get addressed and things that happened to just move the plot along, but it was a fun watch nonetheless, both for the novelty and the entertainment factor.

The most important aspect of the show was definitely the characters and relationships despite there being like a wrong human trafficking ring and everything involved; it well went back to how it affected the people and their relationships. Babe was a very compelling character with his past and how he behaves in the present and his relationships with Tony/Way/people in general. Also helped that Pavel did a really good job with him and acted his ass off, there were quite a few emotional moments in there.

I agree with some people's comments that I wish Charlie's actor Pooh as a better actor. And his character wasn't as developed or with depth as the other ones either, like in terms of emotions I guess. I could never quite tell how much in love with Babe he really was at a given time because he didn't quite... look it, it looked more like a little puppy fanboy who may or may not be playing it up to conceal his true intentions. Alan and Jeff were cuter in my head before they got together tbh. North and Sonic are dating to me, they're so cute.

Although I really liked Charlie/Babe, my true ship winners might be Pete/Kenta in a Not Me ToddBlack fashion, to be honest, with Kenta as maybe my favourite character (2nd is Babe). They gave us like 2 tiny hints that they might know each other and waited until literally last 10 mins of episode 11 out of 13 to lay out their history and baggage and relationship and Kenta's crush, all the while showing them in a fight where Kenta's trying to hurt Pete (but Pete knowing Kenta can't kill him). They have an interesting friends (-> brothers/crush) -> enemies -> allies again at the very end dynamic where I think that they could become lovers post-canon. And I love how pathetic and desperate for love Kenta is and how he was willing to do despicable things for Tony's approval before finally, finally knifing him. Really had me writing a fic idea in my notes app after my few months of no drive to write, I wonder if I'll actually finish it or not because it's kinda... more explicit and intense than the fics I usually write but it was really good in my brain.

Once again, I'm shallow, so here are the people I find most beautiful: Charlie specifically when he has his glasses on and is being a cute puppy, Sonic omg pretty girl for real, Babe is so attractive - esp the younger version of him without the gelled hair but even in the present day when he smiles and is happy he's so beautiful. Jeff sometimes but I think I'm more into his vibes than specifically his face. Way is gorgeous omg, also aside but that actor has mentioned dating men before including a 7 year relationship.

Rating: 6/10 [May 12, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating shows I’ve watched in 2024: 6.5 -> 6]

Tiktoks:

Several of the most liked Pit Babe edits from Ep 1 - 2 because that's when I first saw it and went through the tag

Charlie (song: Honey, I Hate You - XIS)

Ep 3: When Babe stops Charlie from kissing him before the race

Ep 4: Babe telling Charlie they're done

^ Those ones I added before I watched the show and these ones I added now:

Kenta with Tony (Song: Mama's Boy)

Ep 11 Kenta and Pete history (Song: Take Me Back to the Night We Met)

PeteKenta interactions

[wench-and-jezebel]

NCIS Reaction: Minimum Security

Wench (@scripted-downfall) reacts.  At a later time period, and without having seen Wench’s reaction, Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts.  Comparisons may be made as a result.

“If my old man finds out I’ve been biking with you, he’ll kill us both” “I’ll get you a ride.”  Sounds like they might not just have been biking, if’n ya know what I mean.

[“Don’t get your thong in a twist”]

“What if he doesn’t stop?”  “Oh, he’ll stop.”  Buddy, I’m not sure I’d be so certain about that

Ohhhhh, the poor bike :(((( 

I understand him being pissed about the bike, for real.

That doesn’t change the fact that the guy’s already dead, I bet y- [Aghhhhh’ ☠️☠️☠️  Well he ain’t gonna be wishing shit lol]  WHAT DID I SAY!!!  (Should I start keeping a prediction counter?  I think I should.  Prediction Success: 1)

[Aight imma say it. Gibbs is handsome.  There I said it.  Add it to my weird list]  I don't get this one, but that's not much of a surprise to me these days alksdjf  [Idk it’s his smile. Kinda Tom cruise-y but 🤷���‍♀️]

I love the sections of the intro belonging to Tony and Abby.  His lil wave?  Her lil jump?  So cute.

Blegh.  BLEGHHHH.  “RUN THE GUT FOR ME.”  BLEH.

Ducky’s assistant’s name is Gerald, btw.

If not gallbladder stones, then… Diamond smuggler?

“They’re stones, doc.”  Diamonds looking possible.

Oh, come on!!!  EMERALDS???? 

[Emeralds.  Well shit]

I’m so annoyed now.  I think diamonds should count.  The point was there; “gemstones” was the correct answer.  I just didn’t get the exact gem right.  Hmph.  Now I’m unhappy.  You know what?!  I got the gemstone part right, so.  (Prediction Success: 1.5)

I also got the smuggling part right, so… (Prediction Success: 2.5)

[God I’m glad Tony brought his hair back forward.  The slicked back wasn’t it.] Agree.

Tony being linguistically pedantic makes me happy; I relate

TONY BEING SO HAPPY ABOUT GOING TO CUBA MAKES ME SO HAPPY TOO!!!  HIS CACKLE?!!?!  MY BELOVED. [Tony is so happy]  (Same Brain Cell — SBC — Count: 1)

[Sir how many times you gonna swap which way you’re wrapping that cord]

Oof, NCIS agent is involved.

“The women I date think the smell of sawdust is sexy.  That’s probably why I don’t date many women.”  Gibbs.  Ma’am.  Excuse you.  Sawdust is amazing.  The smell is awesome.  I would not date Gibbs, but the sawdust is not the issue.

All of these characters spilling Gibbs’ coffee… damn, what a waste.

“The Navy’s giving us a priority ride today.”  TONY FINALLY GETS HIS PRIVATE JET RIDE!  He looks so disbelieving; he’s adorable.

Oh.  Okay, apparently it’s not a private jet ride, and is very uncomfortable, but still.

OH.  Apparently it is a private jet ride.  HAH!

Dude, this looks like the Criminal Minds jet.  [It looks like the criminal minds plane] (SBC Count: 2)

Gibbs bemoaning the comfortable seating because it’s not uncomfortable; madam, calm yourself.  A little comfort will not harm you.

Poor Tony, keeps getting his hopes up about the trip, only to have them dashed.  Then again, the last times this happened, things were then better than he expected, so maybe he’ll get his horseback riding et al. after all!

Okay, I suppose I should have said: Oof, NCIS agent might be involved.

NO BUT TONY PULLING UP THE AIRPLANE STATS ON THE TOUCHSCREEN IS SO RELATABLE; I DO THAT ALL THE TIME.  Whenever I fly (very rare occurrence), I always stare at the air temperature and watch it change alsdkjf. Gibbs actually looked vaguely annoyed-but-endeared, and I approve.

“Anthony DiNozzo”  Whoa, we’re being fancy

[HES CHEESING SO HARD. i can’t even]

[I love her hair cut]

I know she said “there’s a map in it”, but my subtitles got cut off and it reads “there’s a man in it”

Y’all are really not being subtle, ngl.

“So, is there something going down that I should know about?” SEE?!?!?!

Wow, they were even more unsubtle than I thought.

[I half-remember this one]

That scene change was… abrupt.

I like Tony’s shirt.

Are Kate and Tony gonna bicker over room placement

I KNEW IT.  (Prediction Success: 3.5)

Kate saying Tony’s sexist in past episodes and also being the character who pulls the “I’m a woman” excuse more often than anyone to get her way

[I love Abby]

Are they still bickering over room placement

Please tell me Gibbs takes the room they were fighting over

WHAT DID I SAY; HE REALLY WENT AND DID THAT! I’M ON A ROLL (Adding two becuase they were still bickering over room placement btw.  Prediction Success: 5.5) [He took the bed with the bath I love it]  (SBC Count: 3)

[Tony.  You child.  I love it]

IGUANAAAAAA.  [Oh man, iguana]  (SBC Count: 4)

Poor Tony aksdjflkasjdf. Pulling his gun on the iguana.  [HALT]

To be fair, if I woke up with a strange lizard on my pillow, two inches away from sleep-clogged eyes, I might flip out too.  Especially since it was hissing.

[The wink at the fact Tony sleeps in the nude, though.  Kate!  You dog!]

Kinda poor Benjamin, but also.  He seems annoying.

I love Abby’s choker.  And her gloves.  (My brother bought my sister fingerless gloves and didn’t get me any and now I’m left mourning what could have been.). Abby’s are still cooler than my sister’s though.

I know this dude… OH.  HE’S THE MUSEUM CURATOR IN THE MUMMY ISN’T HE

Tony being followed by the iguana saldkfj 

[That iguana staring him down. He like what he saw in bed lol]

“Might want to keep that door shut; iguanas’ve been known to wander inside”. Yes.  Tony knows.

[Tony’s whole damn looks change with his hairstyles]

I love the word “rapport”

“Did I say both of you?”  “Well, you didn’t not say both of us.”  “She’s kinda got a point there, boss.”  The Kate-and-Tony-versus-Gibbs interaction I always knew we needed.

btw, Tony calling Gibbs “boss” is adorable

Ooh, Gibbs, why you having Kate stay, huh?

Did.  Did they just randomly time-skip from him leaving to him coming back?  I’m confused.  [Did the video time skip… did it go from Tony leaving to Tony being back]  (SBC Count: 5)

[Lord Tony’s gonna be out there dancing ☠️]

“Shane.”  “Who’s Shane?”  “Alan Ladd.”  “Who’s Alan Ladd?”  BUDDY

“Why aren’t you praying?”  Don’t assume, Ka-  WHAT DID I SAY.  “I’m Presbyterian.”

IS HE ASKING ABOUT SHANE- I LOVE IT

“Oh, you young people don’t know what good movies are.”  Speaking as a person on the younger end of the gamut while still having been raised on classics, I can attest that modern audiences have suffered in movie quality.  In my opinion, at least.

“‘Splat’ isn’t violent?”  Love you, Tony.

“Are you here to check me out?”  Flirtatiously: “Define ‘checking out.’”  I SEE YOU, TONY

Buddy’s not even subtle rn, is he?  That was blatant flirtation.

[Tony. You blew that one]

I feel like pulling out Paula has some serious risks attached.  Yeah, she might be dirty, but she might not be, and her rapport is being screwed up as a result.

Tony playing the desperate flirt at the bar over here.

[She came back]

“If you don’t like me, then why do you keep coming over here for refills.”  “I like the game.”. “Me too.”  ngl, really hoping she’s not corrupt because the banter is decent.  And since McGee isn’t in this one, I’ve gotta take the repartee where I can get it.

 BUDDY GETS HIS DANCEEEE.  Tony, I’m so proud.

OOP-  That spin was slick; Tony, I commend you

— — — 

Stopping here because we’re at a scene change for the midpoint reaction!

I confess I’ve not much to say… It very much annoys me that this show has been very guilty-until-proven-innocent, without many instances where that changes; I mean, just from what springs to mind, there was the episode where the group was convinced the kid committed suicide; the naval folks were taking drugs; and now this, the ep where they’re all assuming that Cassidy is dirty from the fact that the vic had her (his coworker’s) male in her care.  They always assume, even when it’s illogical to do so, that the obvious is factual.  And I think that’s part of why I keep making predictions to the contrary, tbh.  I want them to be wrong because I want them to face their illogic each time, instead of getting lucky.  (But, I recognize, sometimes they’ll be right even if their logic isn’t sound, so I guess that’s fair.). Anyway, I want Cassidy to be innocent because of that, even if it doesn’t make sense given the story, but I’m not making that a prediction.

Mourning McGee’s absence; appreciating Kate and Tony, and Gibbs is not bad.  On we go!

— — —

I’m cringing just thinking about swallowing those emeralds; they look sharp.

Okay, I’m sorry, but I’m vaguely suspicious of museum-curator-translater dude.  Like, ever since I saw Shutter, where Ben’s lying to Jane about what the photo shaman dude was saying?  I never trust that translators are adequately conveying the message.  Call me cynical, but ‘tis true.

Tony dancing with Cassidy is so cute, I’m sorry.

Damn, Gibbs, be even more blunt about it why don’t you; that wasn’t harsh enough

Iffy acting, but I can’t tell if it’s actress or character

She really shouldn’t just hand over her apartment keys, I’m reasonably confident.

Tony looks vaguely conflicted about having to search Cassidy’s apartment

IGUANA.  [IGUANA]  (Damn, that one was blatant; SBC Count: 6)

“You were so excited coming to Cuba and riding on the jet” It’s true, Kate, he was adorably excited.

“You were the first woman I saw on my ‘endorphin high.’”  “Yeah, well.  We work together, Tony.  It’s like a brother-sister thing.”  Ma’am clearly has not seen any of the countless films, shows, fics, and irl interactions that feature in-office romances.  

WAIT NO I’M AN IDIOT; SHE HAD AN IN-OFFICE ROMANCE?!?!?!  IN THE PILOT?!!??! MA’AM, WDYM?!?!

“You might wanna take that chip of your shoulder”  Oh, of course, no problem; of course it’s okay that you searched my mail and my apartment and so on.  Not a difficulty at all.

“He blew his chance to get laid”  Oh, come on, Cassidy, it’s not Tony’s fault.  [He blew his chance to get laid. Poor Tony ☠️]  (SBC Count: 7)

Oh, are we back to terrorists again?  How.  Unique.  [TERRORISTTTTS]  (Okay, that counts.  SBC Count: 8)

Gibbs once again being vinegar-not-honey.

DAMN ABBY YOU’RE EXPENSING A LOT I SEE  [Abby ☠️☠️ racking up a bill] (SBC Count: 9)

Tony’s hair is floppy.

Did he notice that she had “Escada” perfume?  

I KNEW IT.  (Prediction Success: 6.5)

“Horizontal salsa” alksdjf ["Horizontal salsa"]  (SBC Count: 10)

I reallyyyyy want Cassidy to be good now that they’re giving Tony so much shit for caring about her.  [Tony’s done got smitten over one dance.  Buddy. 💕 *sigh*]

“Romance between agents, Kate.  It never works.”  Sir, shush.  Even if you’re speaking from experience, that proves nothing.  You’re not exactly easy to get along with. [And the romance between agents never working is coming off as an asshole rule/thought. BUT HE ISN'T WRONG AS FAR AS THE SHOW GOES]

I know my comment about the translations was about museum-curator-guy, but I maintain that it counts as half a prediction success since Sa’id was doing exactly that: not translating the whole conversation.   (Prediction Success: 7)

Abby and Ducky, again; I love you both.

[Ducky’s mother!]

DUCKYYYYY.  OMG, SIR!?!?!?  YOU’RE HILARIOUS, YOU SCANDALOUS DOG!  [You… dog? 👀]  (SBC Count: 11)

[Easter eggs ☠️☠️]

“My cursor has moved across places that would make Tony blush.”  Not Tony looking appraising!

IGUANA.

Protective!Tony is adorable.

Jeez, Gibbs, be harsher why don’t you; that wasn’t enough.

Cassidy, I stuck up for you, and now you be mean to Tony?  To make yourself look good?  Once again, these people need to stop tearing down their fellows as a means of increasing their own status.  I’m actually getting annoyed again by this.  [Tonyyyyyyy ☹️☹️☹️  “He bought my act.”  I hateeee the sad tony eps.  There’s a few.  Be prepared.]  (Does this count as SBC?)

Poor Tony.  [Poor Tony. “She’s good.” Tony’s face. Ya I agree 💔💔]  (That does.  SBC Count: 12)

“Eyes always give you away”  Poor Tony :(  [Sass tony! Get her GET HER (Eyes always give ya away)]  (SBC Count: 13)

[And she has the AUDACITY to look at him like a kicked puppy]  Like I said.  Don’t be mean to your allies to make yourself look good.

I. Do not trust this.  I’m waiting for her to pull an Elizabeth-from-24 and not go along with the plan.  Get pissed and try to kill him, or screw up the plan.

Tbh, I’m glad that didn’t happen.  I didn’t appreciate it in 24 (only partly because it was Misha who got attacked as a result), and I wouldn’t have appreciated it here.

“There.  Right there.”  I didn’t realize this was Legally Blonde: the Musical.

I’m impressed he didn’t notice the wire yet.

Did I mention, yet?  Poor Tony.

This situation was astoundingly mishandled, ngl.  [Damn plan backfired]  

[Well the back fire backfired also]  Literally lakdsfj

Poor Tony :(((  [Tonyyyyy]  (I’m counting that one too.  SBC Count: 14)

I appreciate Kate trying to help Tony.

Also, just saying, Tony is quite dashing in the suit.

TONY.  HE FINALLY GOT TO SHOW OFF THE TECHNOLOGY TO SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATED IT!!!  My goodness, he’s so adorable.

[Well his smile’s back at least.]

And that’s a wrap!

– – –

For the endpoint reaction… Be warned that I’m writing this with a killer headache (hah, pun unintended), so I’m not sure it’s 100% coherent, and it might be a bit short.

I’m glad that Cassidy wasn’t involved because, as I’ve said, they’ve got a bad habit of having snap judgements they make at the beginning be right all the way through to the end.  Unfortunately, this was about the most logical snap judgement of the series thus far, so I’m also vaguely annoyed it wasn’t right.  I’m deciding to wash my hands of it because it’s not like the characters will actually learn, but oh, well.

The writing was decent, I suppose?  Highly, highly lost as to how the hell emerald smuggling turned into terrorists again, but… I’ve given up on trying to track it.  I will say: there’s a slight possibility that reacting simultaneously to the ep is causing me not to notice stuff?  Or to track the plot?  But I doubt it.  I’m still good with Dark Angel, after all, and following it is easy.  But I guess I’ll just wait until we watch something else to decide; I legitimately cannot be sure whether the bad writing would be a little better if I were just watching it straight.  (Pretty sure not though.)

Gibbs was an asshole again, but not enough that I’m currently fuming about it, I suppose.  Kate was good; I liked her.  Abby and Ducky continue to be awesome.  McGee was notably missing, which is sad, but oh, well.

Summary of this ep: Tony deserved better.

Final thoughts as I type the end of this reaction: The chances I don't write something about this ep… Low.

[screampied]

hii pretty baby!!!!! HIGURUMA IS BACKKKKKK, omg i’m like ready to give him the biggest reward for coming back home. me and the kids missed him a lot 😔

yes, i have 5 dogs!! four of them are rescued or the children of ones my family rescued and passed away. but the one that murdered the pigeon is a pitbull. she is lovely and charming, and this is not at all a normal occurrence, but we think the pigeon got inside through our yard and she got scared. this reminded of my latest cat and how she would bring lizards and rats over, and give to my sibling, who might i add, has a phobia of those two animals. she was a lil bitch and i miss her everyday.

omg, i know right? like toji might be looking stinky sometimes, but that man’s wallet is as big and thick as his cock. he just likes to spend most of it with stupid bets, but he has money. give him a sugar baby, he just needs a new hobby! on god, i would’ve send you, but that shit flopped, i’m just waiting for a bit to see if it gets better, idk.

THE WORM DOESNT LOOK SOFT. it’s an ugly think, probably smells like trash and i’m gagging already. KINGSNAKES ARE SO CUTE!!! AND THE NAME??? adorable, gimme 14 of those.

toji would 1. be the happiest man alive, 2. be the saddest man alive. i fully believe he would go around and steal peoples money. like someone by his side got a large amount, next second they are dropped out on the floor and mr. toji just got the bowl of coins!

oh, makes sense. i’m not gonna lie i thought the vaseline would go somewhere more..well, you know.

five languages? you’re so cool!!!! and i love those languages name, so unique. i speak my native language, obviously, english, italian and bits and bits of korean. i can however understand spanish, french, and for some fucking reason russian? dad says i should be a linguistic because i have facility to learn languages. i think it’s cool, i want to go back to french (i used to speak as a infant because of my dad), and learn japanese.

question for today is sweet or salty food? and who do you think has the prettiest cock in jjk? i was wondering that these days and i fully believe is gojo.

OH, AND BY THE FUCKING WAY, I READ YOUR RECENT ONE…. WHAT WAS THAT? need suguru’s head glued to my pussy 😔

nut anon

NUTTY MCNUTSAR 🙆‍♀️

HIIIIII omg pookie i got sick again istg my immune system hates me like . i was dying in bed alllll day yesterday but we lived 🫡 YESSSS HIGURUMA’S BACK WE STAN. im so curious as to how he survived bc ????? but at least he’s safe 🙂‍↕️ now its sukuna n choso’s turn YAY.

you have five dogs :(((( ugh i love dogs. literally my comfort animal. i have three. i grew up around dogs my whole life aaaaughh. i wanna get a husky one day bc they r just so cute n i love their eyes sm. so cute 🥹🥹 i have a pit bull too but she’s mixed with black lab and she’s such a sweetheart. she’s the baby of the trio but she’s always getting into trouble </3 she loves going through my closet for whateverrrr reason.

not toji’s wallet as big and thick as his cock 💀. see !!!!!!!!! i try to tell my moots this all the time but they call me delusional for defending a broke man like WHAT. no one can go band for band w toji, he has a literal hell cat and stacks for days wbk !!!!!!!

STOPPPPP WORMYGURO’S SO CUTE :(((( i just wanna poke it. kinda reminds me of slime. WHY DO U HATE HIM SO MUCH HELPDOIGKH. personally, i think his worm would smell like roses :’)

LMAO UR SO RIGHT. and omg, i saw this video on twitter where this guy in new york runs up to someone on a train and steals their salad and runs away. why do i kinda feel like toji would do that to people in las vegas help 😭😭😭😭 he could steal my food any day <3

really …… what did you think i meant ……. 🧿 i would have said lip gloss too but yk its not a fashion show its survival so 🐩

thank youuuu !!!!!!! ackkk im learning italian also !!! im just taking a break tho but its such a pretty language, french also. korean omg you’re so cool, i wanna learn korean / mandarin one day. is korean hard? ouuugh i wanna learn russian also.

hmmmm i think i prefer sweet foods. prettiest cock in jjk, maybe gojo, suguru, or nanami

TEHEHEH THANKYOU FOR READING MWAH

[enn0s]

omggggg!!! bruh my idenITY HAS BEEM REVEALED HASNT IT DAMNNN DAMMN DAAAMN!! you know whats funnie? as I was typing I was like "When will be the day I forget to press anon" I...forgot how different the interface is on here...I am sweating lmaooo

I was not ready for this yet OTLx infinite

*i pretend i do not see* (but hello darlin its nice to meet you for real ♡♡♡) ill copy the old message so we can still talk anon if you're more comfortable with that 😊

im sorry life has been hitting like that lately! i know when it rains it really pours so i hope you've been able to find an umbrella and that you've been finding places to rest enough during this period of go-go-go! i bet once you get settled into a school routine your schedule will hopefully be a bit more manageable.

Linguistics is such a cool field! My partner was going to go into that before life decided that she was gonna be an AC technician lol, she'd still like to get back into it and become an interpreter at some point tho! Languages and their evolution are fascinating, i hope you go and get to enjoy it to the fullest! Fuck everyone else, it's your life and you get to go do what you wanna do.

lmaooo its cool about my partner calling me fucked up and feral, shes not wrong and we were saying it in the context that her and her sister were street dogs and im an alley cat, its why we mesh so well even tho we're all very different people at first glance lol.

I listened to your list and im diggin the vibes!!! WOODZ has been a fav in my house for years im always excited for his new stuff. That first EVNNE song is /it/ tho, i really do like it a lot, their voices don't sound like they're new to the game, they sound really polished for how young they are. Idk whats in the water in Busan but thats where bts jimin and jungkook are from too so it must be somethin special!! That Phantom song brought back SOOO much nostalgia lol it was everywhere for so long and i hadnt listened to it in a hot minute. 2Pac and Limp Bisikit too, still holdin it down after all these years.

whewww this took so long lol top 10 songs /IS/ a hard question to ask! every time i would lock in a list i would come across another song i wanted to add but for the moment i think this is a pretty solid personal soundtrack.

1. Snooze - Agust D (this is Suga from BTS' solo work and it hit me like a fuckin bus the first time i heard it, hes been my guy since their debut and they've gotten so astronomically huge compared to where they started, it kinda gives me whiplash sometimes and ive just stopped interacting with the fandom as a whole besides my little group chats with my friends bc it just got Too Big but despite all that he's still putting out music that touches my soul and aims to comfort the lost and tired and i just... i love him idk)

2. Bleed - Epik High (love these old dudes, my friends call them my kpop dads and this song in particular is a fan song but they've taken bits and pieces from the track and remixed it into new songs over the past few albums which is just a super cool auditory experience for me)

3. Dancing With a Stranger - Sam Smith & Normani

4. Just Pretend - Bad Omens

5. Pensamientos Intrusivos - Kali Uchis

6. Flip Flop - Megan Thee Stallion (its definitely one of her more lowkey beats and a sad ass song but i just. i love her so much and im so proud of her for keepin it pushin)

7. Que Maldicion - Banda MS, Snoop Dogg and Becky G

8. The Sharpest Lives - MCR (i know this album front to back lol)

9. Not Worth It - Emotional Oranges

10. Pied Piper - BTS (sorry for all the infodumping about them but id have to make a whole other list if i got into their discography lol. for the moment this one just jumps out at me as a fav and a vibe)

I hope you enjoy if u get a sec to listen to any of it!

im sending you good vibes goin into your new semester and that your phone stops actin up! its always so frustrating like... u have one job, please work 😭

wishing you good days ahead and time to yourself to recover ♡♡♡

talk to ya next time!

(prev message under the cut for ref ♡)

--

I sliding through wild, rowdy and funky

D. Racc here once again 🦝✨💨

I hope you didn't forget about me because I didn't forget about yoo hoo~ Since our last talk, I have to admit…if God, gods, or some all mighty force exist, they're giving me a run for my mental and physical health this year, but I am alive and unharmed just…life is LIFING right now But! I will be going back to college this year and I am going to study linguistics. I find it funny when people ask what I'm studying and they reply with an underwhelmed response. No worries though, it just gives me the drive to go toward it even more. I have been getting out of the house often and trying to take care of myself, but I will say its hard to keep consistent with constant setbacks. How's things going on your end?

I totally understand not being able to turn a hobby into a career. I admire those who do, but also respect those who keep it as a hobby because doing it for work will definitely dampen motivation in my opinion. TY TY for the recognition, same goes to you too!  because it is VERY hard to actively stay tuned in into hobbies or interests when you're an adult in this day and age. I get you there though loool I hate being told what to do as well even for regular work. At this point I know I need to be my own boss or work under someone sensible which..for some reason, it's rare. But I get you, I started to learn a little late that, even the smallest doodles count as art or even progress. And us as an artist, decides when a piece is done. There's a lot of delusion when it comes to art and as I grew older I realized all these standards are made up! I can art any way I want too! art snobs can eat iiiit~

Awww I'm glad someone who isn't a fan (well YET! hopefully lol) truly recognizes a group or artist's talent when they are actually talented. One of the members, Seung Eon, vocals reminds me of Daehyun's. Saw that he is also from Busan. Them Busan boys got some PIPES! on them. I don't know why it gives off opera potential. Daehyun being in plays just proves it. But man…do I feel your pain. I can't bring myself to support a group when the youngest of the group is like 15. And no offense to those who do…but I have a liiine. Youngest member in EVNNE just turned 18 and the oldest Keita, recently as well, turned 23. This is the only group I stan right now and have been trying to look for more groups 21+. I've seen a couple debuts and took notice of some groups I never got to look into since I dropped the fandom. HOnestly thoough…once again..they are my new B.A.P loool! I don't know how people multitask affection. They are literally the only ones in my EYE VIEW. I do wish them big success on top of healthy, free lives, but I will say I love smaller fandoms. It's much more intimate and less toxic, but I do want the boys to get their moneys worth lool. All that work? Yeah they deserve all the love.

I love K-pop when it comes to the music and culture, however the standards and fan culture honestly turned me off even to this day. It's hard to support the industry with all the twisted shitake mushrooms that go on especially in the background.

ahhhhh! the dreeaded questiiion lool! not in a bad way it's just…so many y'know? and sometimes I forget a song is my favorite until it comes on shuffle again. No specific order, just some off the top of my head.

SUN OR SUCK -WOODZ (fell in love and discovered this man's music late last year I feel like I missed out too, but when he comes out of enlistment!? going to see his first show once he comes overseas, so talented and such a sweet person)

Badder Love -EVNNE

XO -EVNNE

IXLU - BYG (!!! are you prepared for B.A.P's farewell comeback?? they look like classic men, very nostalgic, almost makes me want to draw)

Hole In Your Face -PHANTOM

Do You Wanna Taste It -Wig Wam (Peacemaker put me on)

One Look- Leo

All Eyes On Me -Tupac

Stay With Me - Yoo Young Jae (ft. Zelo) (I don't know why this song always brings a smile to my face. It's one of those songs if serenaded I will combust)

Break Stuff- Limp Biskit

I was fighting so hard to keep it at 10 loool. Sorry it's mainly K-POP, it's really been taking over my radio ;; What about yoou~?

Yeeees as you should've. You already knooow! Tevin Cambell? amazing singer. Stand Out as well…//chef kiss of the divine. Shrek is important to the culture. I know this is somewhat unrelated…but since he's the voice of Shrek, I LOVED Austin Powers. I did not know that man was a constant in my childhood along with Jim Carey. The Mask is amongst my favorite childhood movies.

HAaaaa..I'm sorry but that's so funny. Not him calling you a  jacked up and feral ahhh..that's love right there. Tiger + Stray = I bet fierce and majestic on the outside, but natural, wild and free on the inside..maybe a little crack-headedness but hey! that's their charm haha!

TY x3 for wishes of good quality Zzzs N' Meats! I will do my best! Hope you've been well and stay well.

Until next time! D. Racc City OUT! 🚪🦝✨ _💨💨

P.S. My phone is completely inoperable ;-; on my computer like a old head lool I joke. Nonetheless, we will talk as soon a possible ciao ciao and take care

[smollobsession]

25.3.

I'm 40. damn bro.

I finished Mark's book about not giving a fuck and it was really good.

there was a part about death that i found most intriguing, saying that if death is inevitable you might as well live until it comes. which is true and something i've been struggling with since my mom died.

Idk now if I said it in the last post but I also finished Dan's book and it was so helpful, I really wish I could force my teens to read it. (lovingly)

i'm now listening to "because internet" which is a fun linguistic study of internet language.

today i finally made crepes on the crepe maker E gave me ages ago. depression had a hold on me so i couldn't try it for ages but finally i'm there! i need to buy milk and mineral water for good pancakes but the experiment was a success!

in pogo news, I did groudon and kyogre raids and ... got nothing special :D but raiding was fun :D annoying tho that it's obvious you just can't have certain pokemon on certain levels. i played with my secondary, much lower account, and it just wouldn't let me catch groudon, even tho i won 3 raids for it. boo.

This weekend was Intense.

On friday i had my korean lesson and then met up with F for Zone of Interest. It was a great movie, I was immersed in it to the point that I kinda forgot it wasn't present. I also couldn't help but draw parallels to gaza but apparently I'm not allowed to talk about that.

Satuday was raid day and then Sunday I went to the protest. This time I got a flag and I made it all the way to the end of the protest! (minus the dancing, i went home for that :D ) it was ok despite my horrific anxiety making my back hurt and some details I didn't like (a guy spilled a bag of flour to prove some point but like... why are you spilling food while pointing out people are staving pls.) it was quite interesting how I spent most of the day today trying to see myself in pics and vids of the protest and only found ONE pic. soothes my anxiety a little, knowing i'm invisible :D

i've been following exercises from here and i've been increasing the number and length, i'm pleased! My flat is currently fairly clean and things are mostly in their place. yay mental health? and on the note of mental health i'm working on my fic again slowly too.

I did end up buying all the currently published Mo Dao Zu Shi comics :D which is 5 :D oh well! I'm also going to get a in person local Korean teacher. It'll cost a bit but it's fine I hope. Meanwhile I tested spotify and i don't like it. the organization is sadly a mess. the main feature i miss is the ability to see all songs by an artist. without that, their whole app is useless to me. I watched cooking crush and it's a really good show, I recommend it to all my friends now :D even tho the asian parent thing... it's not for me. i'm too chill toward my family even for my culture.

I got tickets for a musical in april, which i'll see with a student. (and another student is in the musical!)

had some good talks with my therapist, mainly about whether or not i care about being fat. i combined this with a chapter from mark's book, and it's quite simple i think. do i care? somewhat. certainly some mobility is not as it should be and i def want to fix that part. but a lot of my feelings about my own body are from outside. and he talks about how wanting to be something isn't the same as wanting to do the work for it, and that's basically it. would i like to be skinny? sure. am i willing to do the work for it? ... not? really? at least not now.

anyway exams are approaching, the end of this career is approaching. i'm chewing on that but so far i haven't reached anything specific. i need to write an email to the company i'm gonna ask for help, so this is my reminder to do that tomorrow :D

happy skz day :D my babies are 6! <3

[thorne1435]

If you'd listened to your English classes properly you'd learn that there are two genders, male and female and if you don't classify as either of them, you're an 'it' because at least EVEN ANIMALS have genders. Which makes you worse than them honestly. You freaks are the reason insecure pathetic men in lipstick and frocks compete in sports and other activities for women and ONLY ACTUAL WOMEN. How many times do I say this, you freaks don't count as women. Just stop already with your fucking bullshit, you're the reason people invented fucking condoms. If I ever have kids, I'm letting them NOWHERE near you groomers and disgusting pedos, the safety of children is more important than your irrelevant feelings 😒

This person sent me three asks. This is the third.

I'm so proud of you! When you sent me the rough drafts, I admit, I was a bit reluctant to accept the efficacy of your essay here, but I see you took my advice to heart. You even took out the bit about Lia Thomas or Thompson or w/e (because no one actually gives a shit about her or whoever the other one was) You did such a good job, honey! This is a good revision. I'm sure it'll at least be worth a C. Maybe higher!

Nice enby-flavored transphobia, by the way! I hadn't gotten that yet, because I tend to just say I'm a woman. Acknowledging that I'm nonbinary is a "diversity win," as the kids say. I'm glad we can set aside our differences like that, and I know it's hard, all these new ideas about gender and sexuality. I mean, it's confusing for me sometimes too. But I'm glad you've already come to the same conclusion that I have: "Just go with it, it'll make sense later."

So anyway, more seriously, (it/its) pronouns don't bother me, because when I was younger and more conservative I thought that referring to everyone as "it" would be the better option. The reason why I stopped believing this is the same reason why your "English class" thing is wrong. Linguistics is actually my special interest, so let me tell you how many genders English has: Masculine (he), Feminine (she), Neuter (they/it), Animate (he/she/they), and Inanimate (it/they). So, like 4 or 5, depending on how you count the "In/Animate" binary.

The Masc-Neut-Fem axis is a parallel gendering relative to the Animate-Inanimate binary. Though, Animacy in English is...complicated. For example, most animals, particularly pets, are referred to with (it/they) pronouns, or when the sex of the animal is known, (it/he) or (it/she). But we still do refer to them as inanimate sometimes, and this might have something to do with how we look at sentience/sapience in regards to animacy? Like, it doesn't matter as much if it's a moving or living thing, like "animacy" would imply: if it can't communicate with us, we're inclined to label it an object. It's sort of a human-centric linguistic trait but then again, how would language not be human-centric, y'know? It's something for animal rights activists to get upset about, and I don't think they're overreacting necessarily.

But uh, yeah, that was what I wanted to say about your gender comment. You don't understand grammatical gender. Why don't you read up on it before embarassing yourself in front of someone who doesn't really enjoy demonstrating how complicated it is?

Also, it should be noted that grammatical gender (the gender that animals..."have") and social gender (the gender that animals do not have, by any stretch of the term) are not the same thing. Like, you can't really "Identify as inanimate" can you? How would you affirm someone who identifies as "non-living"?

(Which, for the record, isn't to say that someone can't identify as 'inanimate' in the same way that we would assign, say, a dog or a cat the 'inanimate gender,' because that's functionally different. They're still saying they're alive, and they have to be because otherwise that sort of falls outside the scope of social gender and...like...IDK, that's just kinda wack. They're just playing with grammatical gender and that's an interesting concept but I'm not entirely sure how to approach that other than, like I said before, "Just go with it, it'll make sense later." I'm just saying this because I know it's new to you. I digress.)

There are plenty of similar, non-social grammatical genders in other languages, and the idea of someone "identifying" as one of those is kind of funny, because...well, for some of those genders you actually probably would take on those genders as part of a linguistic system within the language's conventions, and for some of those, they're impossible for humans to be, because they weren't meant to refer to humans, though I imagine that's relatively rare? It's certainly pointlessly complex, but that doesn't mean languages don't or couldn't do it, if it just happened to shake out that way. That's how language works, there are no hard-and-fast rules, it's all just happenstance shit that sticks and develops over time, a lot like Darwinism I guess.

[moa-broke-me]

Actually I kinda wanna do college majors for everyone now so here:

Annabeth: Architecture (duh)

Percy: Idk maybe culinary arts? I don't like the whole marine biology thing I think it's too obvious. I think he'd prefer to take after his mom and make pastries and such. He'd be there on an athletic scholarship for sure, either swimming or soccer.

Jason (yes he's alive shut up): Honestly I'm not sure he'd want to go to college. I think he'd major in mathematics or physics or something super hardcore and math-y to prove himself because he's competitive like that, drop out after a year or two because it's too stressful, travel, see the world and just do odd jobs here and there. But maybe in a few years he'd come back to college and learn how to become a teacher, of little kids specifically.

Reyna: Archaeology. Don't ask me why, it just seems right. She's in boxing too.

Alabaster: English major. He just... Gives off those vibes, those dark academia 'i watch dead poets society every night to go to sleep' vibes. He truly does think of himself as the main character.

Piper: Music seems like a pretty obvious choice, but she can already sing well without really trying thanks to her powers, so I'm gonna say theatre or cinematography instead. From what little we know about Shel, she seems to know arthouse movies really well, and Piper's been involved in Hollywood for basically her whole life. I think they'd want to make movies together.

Frank: ... I'll be honest, I'm drawing a blank. I think history would be cool, military history specifically. Or maybe veterinary care, I don't know. Both seem so right, like, they're both such a good fit for him. Either way he's not going on the GI bill. Maybe he idolized the military when he was younger, but, he knows better than to put his life in their hands.

Hazel: I think she'd major in painting or animation. I mean, art is her hobby, and she's really good at it. I think she would think of it as her calling.

Nico: Music or linguistics. Probably both.

Leo: Engineering.

Nico is a humanities gay and Leo is a STEM gay

that's why they work so well

[emiko-matsui]

hello this is my official list of what i think every member of the bau would work with if they wouldn't work at the bau like if that wasn't a reality you get me

——

Jason Gideon: look i know this is technically canon but i truly do think he would be an author and would guest lecture a bit in his later years and like sure he could still write true crime books but also just regular crime novels i think this old man would just like to write

Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: i think she would work inside of the media, not in front of the camera necessarily but as a communicator or similarly inside of the media and the news. however i think there's a possibility of a divergence of path for her, i think its possible she could end up in a hostage situation due to her job in a similar situation like in neon terror and would start working out as a coping mechanism and like genuinely would pick up a (extra?) job as a personal trainer at her gym

Derek Morgan: firefighter. that's it i don't know what to say other than that, derek would 500% be a firefighter. there's nothing else. now that i think about it derek should've been a firefighter from the beginning fuck the bau this is his true calling don't even @ me

Elle Greenaway: similarly to JJ i think elle would work inside of the media but as an investigative journalist. well i think she would start out as a regular journalist but become an investigative journalist after a while because her drive would be too big you get me. also niche but i think that when she was a teen she was like briefly a singer like you know robin from how i met your mother but she would've made angry girl music

Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: genuinely don't think this punk could stay away from the government so i think he would still work a fancy government job just not inside of the bau, maybe not even the fbi but i so think he'd still be in government. now what i have no idea because i know nothing about the government especially the american government seeing as im not even remotely american

David "Dave" Rossi: now i don't even know if this fucking counts but you know those really fancy shops that are like made of dark smelling wood and is called something extravagant with a cursive gold font and they sell like cigar or wine or herbal products or like mustache wax or whatever the fuck you know the places im talking about. i think rossi would work there and be that old man at the counter who will come up and talk to you and you have no idea if he just works there and is really invested in this stuff or if he owns the place or just a really weird costumer but then he's the one you pay too so you assume it's his but the moment you step out of the store you've forgotten his face and you never want to go back there but you always think about it once a month or something. if you don't know what kinda place im talking about consider yourself lucky

Penelope Garcia: if the bau wasn't even a prospect here there's no question that penelope would still be a hacker illegally and make most of her money from there but i also think that she would work in a small second hand shop with lots of old trinkets and clothes and stuff just because she genuinely thinks it's fun to work there and also the old woman who owns the shop lets her be on the computer when there's no costumers in the store. i just think she would sit there in her cupcake dress next to a ceramic old cat from the 1930s talking to bernice about her grandson while hacking jeff bezos on her computer

Spencer Reid: now it's time for spencer all over the place reid who i think would work at like one of those really prestige but still public libraries where like everyone is welcome but they have like locked rooms with super valuable books and stuff and he kinda does whatever there bc sometimes he gives tours talking about thr history of the building and stuff and sometimes you find him at the counter ready to guide you to the specific book you're looking for plus twenty other recommendations you should read if you like this book and sometimes you find him in a window reading and his coworkers politely ignore he's had his "break" for three hours now bc he guided 17 tours yesterday (only ten were scheduled) and they suspect he mightve slept here. plus in his spare time i think he would do some independent work to keep him stimulated with stuff but that's not a fully developed idea yet

Stephen Walker: this might be controversial but i think stephen would be a guidance counsellor at like a school and i don't know why but he has the vibe and i think he would be quite good at it. maybe he just gives me more official jawbone vibes from dimension 20

Emily Prentiss: i firmly believe this woman cannot hold down a job for her life. i think the bau and interpol were flukes in her reality because im quite certain emily would physically not be able to keep one job for longer than a year. if you mention a job she's probably done it. she's done everything from high positions in government to bagging groceries to leading seminars to breeding puppies. listen emily prentiss is a lesbian ex goth trust fund kid (like canonically yall). i think right now she's working with the lights for a theatre production and she's liking it and seems to have a knack for it

Tara Lewis: this one's out there but i think she would work as a principal at a university (do universities have principals?). but like the one who's in charge of a school but like advanced studies with like adults study after they've already studied if you know what i mean. idk i just think that's what she would be

Luke Alvez: hate to do this to luke but he would simply just be a cop. or like a detective (that's like a promotion for a cop in america right? bro my knowledge extends to brooklyn 99 and brooklyn 99 only). i hope this is because i feel like luke is the serious crime version of jake peralta and jake is the sitcom version of luke. anyway, cop

Matt Simmons: this is my magnum opus but bro i think he would be a podcaster. i think he would do a podcast with kristy. for everyone who follows my blog think justin and sydnee mcelroy but matt is sydnee. i think they would have a little podcast together. after his unit at the fbi (?) got got by linda barnes i think he would retire home and start doing podcasting full time with kristy. this is my hot take

Kate Callahan: because such a central part of kate's personality/backstory is that her sister died in 9/11 i think that kate would've been a nurse. specifically a nurse not a doctor and i don't think it's because a lack of competence or anything like that fuck u no i genuinely think kate wanted to be a nurse and chose to study to become that. her hours would still be crazy but maybe meg isn't as worried about her now

Ashley Seaver: i don't have a lot for seaver but i think she would work in local government more centralised like those guys from parks and rec and yes i realise ive made way too many references that some people might not understand but here we are. i think seaver would do whatever leslie does in parks and rec or something like that

Alex Blake: this is just a formality to have her on here because she's literally a linguistics professor in the show

[charming-2d-boys]

Hey, bomi! Tbh, male scent is kinda attractive for me, is that a fetish? Idk, but i always judge someone to be attractive or not from their scent, and I see prompt 2 matches my situation haha. Can you make a feitan at prompt 2? Thanks!

Hi! 😄

Hmm, I wouldn't consider it a fetish, though I understand what you mean. I have something similar 😂

But thank you for the request and I hope you'll like it! 😊

2. “Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!”

A/N: for some reason, I found this a bit hard to write, like the words just don’t flow, but maybe that’s just me :/

-----

   Ever since you’d managed to get close enough to Feitan to become his partner, you had decided, through the faint traces of his cologne or aftershave, that he was attractive in more ways than one. He was physically attractive, he was strong - and dangerous - and extremely smart, even if some considered otherwise considering his linguistic mistakes. But those were just details. They didn’t know what Feitan was actually like.

   Sure, for the most part, and especially in front of the Phantom Troupe or in public, he was stoic, emotionless even and wouldn’t touch you in anyway unless you were in danger and he had to get you out of there. No PDA, under any circumstance, unless it was only the two of you. Those moments were all worth it, though.

   Grumpy, pouty, even pretending to be angry at all this sappy shit, as he called it, Feitan still loved it when you’d be affectionate with him. He always loved the way you snuggled into him and clung to his clothes, like you didn’t want him to leave - he wouldn’t unless it was Troupe business.

   Or when either one of you would lay their head on the other’s lap or shoulder. Which was also one of the best ways to literally have your heartbeat quicken when you’d have Feitan close enough to you to breathe in his aftershave and that own, personal scent.

   “What are you doing, (Y/N)?” His grumbling had you chuckling before you squeezed him once, hand going into his hair to run your fingers through it. Feitan bristled a little before slowly relaxing the more your fingers went over different parts of his scalp, lightly tugging on hair knots to undo them gently.

   “You’re warm and you smell good.” Again, he only answered with some grumbling and by burying himself better into your side. But the heat you felt radiating from his face and tips of his ears gave you enough answers as to how he actually felt and what your words were doing to him.

   “Say, when is your next mission?”

   “At the end of this week. Why?” That was in 3 days. Feitan almost never told you, since most missions were spontaneous and allowed him to come back the same day - or night, in some cases. So this one, planned ahead, might be more important and longer.

   “Can I have one of your hoodies?” Feitan sat up, looking at you.

   “Why?” Why does he always need you to explain thigs like those to him? It was weird enough having to ask him to give you one of his hoodies.

   “Just because...” He raised an eyebrow, arms crossed over his chest. “Okay, fine, I miss you and your hoodie smells like you and it makes me feel closer to you even when you’re not physically here. And sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie! Can’t believe I have to ask instead of just getting it myself...” Now it was your turn to grumble and avoid his stare as you crossed your arms with a pout.

   Feitan chuckled before shaking his head with a smirk, getting up and coming back a few seconds later with one of the hoodies he left in your closet.

   “Why do you think I left some of them here?”

   “...so you could get dressed here instead of bringing other clothes over every time?” Feitan only shook his head, mumbling idiot as he came closer, giving you the hoodie. The he sat back down after you put it on, gathering you in his arms and keeping you trapped. That pleasant scent of his was enveloping you completely and everything felt perfect in that moment.

   “There are 6 more hoodies there.” You turned around to peck his lips before snuggling better into his chest and continuing to talk and relax for the night. Feitan could be really thoughtful and nice when he wanted to be, that’s something most people didn’t know or thought was possible for someone like him. Good thing he allowed you to see more than the surface.

[kyoupann]

Please do more of the writing head canons. It’s really interesting to see other people’s ideas on the topic, so if you can be bothered, I would highly appreciate more, thanks bye <3

Y’all don’t know how happy I am to talk about these headcanons, they are my babies and I love them so much :’) thanks for asking g <3

Handwriting Headcanons

Same dynamic as before, try to guess whose handwriting it is before reading and tell me how many you got right! <3

You can find the first post here (no need to check it tho)

Quick disclaimer: halfway through making my initial notes, I remembered I had one (1) single lesson of graphology in my applied linguistics class, but that was a year ago and some information might be off. I just thought it was neat to include.

Another quick disclaimer: I don’t know much about Hylian, but I like to think it has a similar stroke system to Japanese, so the pressure and accuracy of your strokes play a major role in your handwriting (among other things, ofc.) so there are some parts where I focus more on that

(First Row, from left to right)

Sky

Our first boy is mother hen! Believe it or not, he has the prettiest handwriting out of all of them! Sky: probably has nice, even elegant handwriting because Sun forced him to practice when they were little. In the end, that paid off because his handwriting is the prettiest one. There’s no pressure, but he is confident in what he writes that his lines aren’t thin. Mistakes? what is that? this boy has impeccable grammar and spelling. No mechanic errors to be found in his letters! I’d like to think that many of Hyrule’s classic/staple poems were originally written by the firt king aka sky child. Like, imagine, after a retiring from being a Person of Power (as the first ruler), Sky finds comfort in the arts: revisits his old woodcarvings and starts writing poetry about the world he still doesn’t fully understand. wowie. tldr: sky writes poetry and you can pry it from my cold dead hands.

This is what one of his letters would look like: 

Next one is the one and only, our Hero of Time

2. Time

I’ll die on the “Time didn’t know how to read and write” hill. His handwriting is simple, not pretty but not messy. It has some grammar and spelling mistakes here and there. Can become unreadable if writing in a hurry, he sorts of forgets spaces between words are a thing/letters have different sizes and lowercase letters end up the same size as capital letters. I’m not saying he sometimes forgets to write articles: he just doesn’t want to. Honestly, he just has this dad-neat handwriting. He is a gentle dad and writes like a dad, if he puts too much pressure onto the paper, his handwriting become too sharp/angle-ish and ends up looking ugly. And as much as he would like to not care about it, in the end he does (:

Malon taught him how to write and it was quite the experience. At first he didn’t want to because he was ‘too old’ to learn and it was torture at first, but now look at him devouring his cowboy novels. 

A chunk of his handwriting: 

*sniff* such a dad quote.

3. my mansss, your  4x1 deal at Target: Four

Look, my boy is patient! He could do some nice and fancy lettering if he wanted to. He was taught that handwriting and spelling said a whole lot about him as a person, you know, like a first impression kinda thing; so he always proof reads more than twice before sending ­a letter. Super rare grammar mistakes.

The faster he writes, the more slant his writing becomes. Under stress/ when not sure how to write things down, run-on sentences are everywhere and his handwriting is inconsistent in general (I don’t headcanon each part of him having completely different handwriting because handwriting becomes muscle memory over time. It’s just slightly different variations of the same, like idk  Vio’s handwriting is neater than Green’s and Red writes hearts instead of any dot/circle and no, I do not take constructive criticism on that, jk i do.) Adding on to each of the colours’ handwriting, I’d think Red and Green write with words slanted to the right( inclined), Vio is a mix of the opposite, so reclined and straight, and my mans blue a true neutral writes straight (kinda like Time’s).

The logic behind this is that inclined writing supposedly means honesty and need for giving (and getting) affection; reclined means, as you can probably imagine,  defensiveness and repression of true feelings, but also shows great concentration; straight handwriting means self-control, observation and reflection as well as distrust and indifference. But as complete being (tm), Four just writes as in the image example which is not too straight and not too inclined, and I believe that’s a good middle for him

HOWEVER, if I’m feeling in the mood for crack, I totally accept this boy to have the ugliest, chicken scratches-looking handwriting! :’D It’s just funny to think that someone like him, who has to be precise and careful in his work, can't write neatly to save his life. 

One of his letters would look like this: 

Also I just LOVE how his hero titles look in this font ksksks

and that’s

(Middle row, from left to right)

4.- Mister Bunny Boy - Legend

His uncle taught him how to write. I’d call his handwriting pretty and neat at a first glance, but he presses too hard on the paper, most of the time staining the back or the following page. Sometimes will retrace some words if he doesn’t like how it looks (which only makes it messier). According to my notes, a thick or strong handwriting represents determination/commitment.

As I also headcanon him to know many languages, mechanical errors are more present than grammar ones; that is, weird capitalisation of words. Punctuation is somewhere in between; uses too many commas when he should just cut the sentence. he mixes punctuation from two languages or more in writing when too distracted (or too focused, because, well, pressure.); when he writes for himself, he has almost no problem following said language’s punctuation rules. Also, this is just polyglot culture, and I’m projecting a bit, but when he forgets a word in the language he’s writing, he just replaces it with its equivalent in another language because we don’t care about fluency, but rather functionality. in this household (more on that in my language hc, ksksks).

An example of his writing:

so powerful

4.-  Mr. Wolfman, howl me a song - Twilight

I don’t have much for him because 1) I don’t think he writes a lot and 2) he is a hands-on/visual learner, I’ll die by that. He only learnt how to write because Ulli insisted it was important and he was not about to disrespect his momma; he IS That Guy, but doesn’t really write enough to have neat handwriting.

Many people seem to overlook the fact that his house is filled with books and write him as completely illiterate (which if not explored properly, ends up feeling a bit disrespectful and full of prejudice, but go off I guess; and that’s on my core Headcanons for Twi); however, he sticks to simple sentences. Knowing how to read and understanding a text is different from knowing how to write them. Like, when we would see a semicolon and understand its position in the text, but didn’t understand the nature of it. Is this clear? idk i’m sorry. So yeah, boy reads a lot, writes very little.

As for his Actual Handwriting, as opposed to Legend, his handwriting is thiccc but not because he presses into the paper; he is just that messy, he has no sense of ink-flow-control, he does what he can with what he has. To the untrained eye, his handwriting illegible letters like v, n, u are very similar; when he makes notes for himself he does it in the form of doodles or small ‘icons’. But! He reads a lot, so he rarely makes spelling mistakes (: he is your go-to guy when you don’t know how to write a word.

An example of his writing:

He keeps a journal, sue me.

3. My first born- Warrior

Okay, first off... I accept this is completely biased. I saw the idea and said “That’s True”. If you haven’t, please read Effective Communication; or The Lack of Thereof by htruona, a fic where the boys reflect on the language barriers between them. It’s incredibly funny and probably what made me start making these silly notes. So, if you’ve read that fic, you know where I’m going.

My man, Warrior, can’t fucking write. I mean, he physically can, but it’s very bad. Here’s the reason for it, tho, and it’s not his fault: Technically, he knew how to write alright but he joined the military and whatever note he had to write had to be concise or in the worst case coded. He mixes capital and lowercase letters. If we consider that he joined the military at around 15, his handwriting and grammar had yet to continue developing. Just think about how after summer break, your handwriting was always slightly worse than before because you didn’t write for an entire month. Now think what 2 years can do to that. Hmm, not cool, dude. He makes quick notes, when writing he’s all gotta go fast. he is the lighting mcqueen of writing; good for emergency messages, not ideal for love letters. His punctuation also suffered a lot, he only know full stops and commas and hardly uses them. A sentence for him is either one word or fifty without a single comma, no inbetween.

His hero title and an example of his writing.

(Bottom row, or what I like to call “fuck cursive” row)

7.- Magic man - Hyrule

I’m basic and I do agree with the popular headcanon of he not knowing how to write because well, y’all know his Hyrule. He only knows how to write his name because that’s important, same with numbers. I don’t see why would he write/read except checking the roadsigns. (he can even use this as an excuse for getting lost frequently; he thought it said something different.) But I do think that because his habitual reading consists of roadsigns, his ‘punctuation’ is weird af and places full stops/points/periods at the same level of his words and his commas/question/exclamation marks below them. Yk, creative license. Sadly, I don’t have much about my magic hands man so here’s what his writing would look like if he actually wrote a paragraph:

Man, I love Hyrule.

8.- Man, I don’t understand this boy -  Wild

Cursive? ain’t nobody have the time for that. He woke up and had to save the world in his underwear while not knowing how to read nor write.  He learnt during his journey and was taught by multiple people from different regions, that explains his inconsistent spelling of things and names for them. So Wild knows language variations for many items and uses them interchangeably (even if they aren’t exactly the same). Another headcanon related to writing/language skills that I’ve been thinking about is that if the shrine was able to cause amnesia, I’m sure there were other areas in the brain affected which leads us to language disorders such as agraphia and aphasia. But that’s a story for another day ksksksk

An example of his writing (after relearning)

9.- The best of sons - Wind

I don’t have much for him and that makes me sad. Look, he’s a kid, doing kid things like stabbing dudes on the head. This boy was taught cursive by his grandma, but could never do it and no one needs it anyway. His handwriting is good enough for his pirate life, Tetra is the one to handle Official stuff, he just gotta sign. Spelling and grammar mistakes abound. He is still relatively young and can correct his handwriting if he desires. But same as Wild, with how many times he’s been thrown out and hit his head, I’m starting to consider some language disorder for him as well.

An example of his writing:

aaand that’s it.

Thanks, y’all for showing interest in this silly thing uwu it was fun to finally talk about this. If you ever want to discuss ideas/headcanons(especially if they are related to language and culture), I’m your person (: I’m always happy to hear new headcanons. Feel free to add anything to this post either in a reply or in a reblog, I’d love to hear from y’all <3<3

[thebad---catholic]

My problems with AOS

Well here I am, 10 years late with an opinion no one asked for, but I have to write this down and throw into the void so that I can be at peace. I’ve been salty about this film franchise for a very long time now. This will mostly focus on Star Trek (2009) with the other two movies sprinkled in.

1. Starfleet

Honestly where do I even begin? In TOS, Starfleet was modeled after the navy (idk how accurately, but Roddenberry was in the air force so I’m assuming he’d know how all that works). You can get a feel for the chain of command, and everything feels natural with character ages and things like that. There’s a procedure for everything.

AOS Starfleet feels more like a high school club than an interplanetary exploration organization. Jim is supposed to be twenty-five when he gets the rank of captain- after he was almost expelled for cheating. He has no idea how to operate or run a starship. TOS Kirk moved through the ranks of Starfleet and was promoted on merit and leadership skills- he worked for his position.

Why was Jim the only person who knew what was happening when Nero showed up? Was there any requirements to joining to Starfleet other than get on the shuttle? Why did the linguist not know the difference between Vulcan and Romulan when they’re the linguist? How did Pike bypass the chain of command to appoint Jim Kirk as First Officer which was an obvious show of favoritism to someone was about to be thrown out of the academy? Why the fuck was he allowed to keep the title of captain? What the fuck?

Speaking of Jim.

2. Jim Kirk’s Character

I...don’t like Jim’s character in this film. It’s not terrible for a younger version of Kirk, but like I said though, there’s no reason Kirk should be this young. And in this one he’s just kinda a douche.

We know from TOS that Kirk gets around, but he genuinely cares for his exes, and in general respects women. He uses sex appeal as a strategy, but more than anything this comes off as a subversion of the femme fatal trope bc Kirk is a man. In the movie, he’s just a standard action movie protag who has lots of sex just because.

The scene when the Orion woman says she loves him and he replied “that’s so weird” is just...so weird? Like I can’t imagine Kirk doing anything in that situation than backing off and explaining that he doesn’t feel the same way. The scene continues with him hiding under the bed when Uhura walks in. Watching how the camera angle makes Jim out to be a voyeur made me uncomfortable then and it still does. It could be explained that Jim is trying to figure out Uhura’s identity or that he’s listening in and people look at who they’re listening to but like...she was in her underwear. You shouldn’t look at people while they’re getting undressed, especially when they don’t even know you’re there? Is that a hot take? Apparently.

In TOS there’s this really nice scene in This Side of Paradise(S1E24) where the whole crew is high (again) and has abandoned ship, leaving Kirk to tend to things. We see Jim move around the ship with a little clip pad and make the proper checks. This is a captain who knows his stuff. That is the Kirk we should have seen if we’re going to see Jim become captain.

AOS kirk goes through a standard “stop being an asshole” arc commonplace for male protagonists, but this happens well past the point he should stop being an asshole. Either the AOS series should’ve been a prequel with Jim becoming captain at the end of the trilogy, or he should’ve been older with a completely different arc- maybe coming to terms with his rank? Imposter syndrome? Learning to trust his crew and building trust with them? Building a friendship with Spock and McCoy? There’s a lot to work with here.

3. Spock and Uhura’s relationship

Why. Like why. For what. Por Que.

I like giving Uhura a bigger role, I don’t like making her a love interest to do that.

It doesn’t make sense for either of their characters. Lieutenant Nyota Uhura, linguist expert who handles all transmissions to and from the enterprise- an icon of black women’s representation is now demoted to Spock’s nagging girlfriend. This bothers me more than a little bit.

It manages to make even less sense for Spock. A hallmark of Spock’s character is his duality. He struggles to combat his emotions and the human half of him. His repeating character arc in TOS is coming to terms with humanity while upholding the Vulcan way of life. Having him in an established romantic relationship before this arc is supposed to happen just makes for a boring romantic subplot about a relationship that shouldn’t happen and that I don’t care about.

TOS Vulcan culture is kinda shitty. Explicitly patriarchal and stuff, and also kinda racist against humans. The source of Spock’s inner conflict is not himself but a society that views him as lesser for being half human. However, one thing that I can certainly understand from a “logical” (logic in quotations bc racism and sexism is fucking stupid) people is ritualized arranged marriages. It just...makes sense to me that Vulcans would simply have their mates chosen for them and then marry that person and be done with it. Neat. Logical. Conformity.

This makes Spock and Uhura’s relationship even stranger. Why would Spock go so against conformity that he dates someone before he truly comes to terms with himself? Even if they throw out ponfarr and arranged marriage, it still doesn’t work but now it especially doesn’t work.

My personal theory is that Spock and Uhura’s relationship was established purely to make shippers shut up. It’s no secret Spirk is the most popular ship from TOS. I have no doubt they knew this while writing the movie. So to quietly wrap a no homo on Spock and Kirk’s friendship, they use Uhura as a prop to do so.

The teacher/student dynamic should only be relegated to fan fiction and the throwaway line about oral sensitivity makes me cringe. Every. Time.

4. McCoy

Karl Urbans performance is easily my favorite part of this movie. He captures DeForrest Kelley so well it hurts. He made Leonard Nimoy cry. His chemistry with Pine made McKirk go from the most underrated triumvirate ship in TOS to rival Spirks popularity in AOS. His scenes with Zachary Quinto are just *chefs kiss*.

So why doesn’t he have more of a role? The triumvirate is missing a third.

In particular, there’s a scene where Uhura, Kirk, and Spock make their way down to a planet to talk to a Klingon. I can’t remember which movie it was or why, but Spock and Uhura were bickering and Kirk remarks “can we do this later?”

The line was funny. It would’ve been golden if it was McCoy and not Uhura.

A fantastic performance by an underutilized character in a movie where that character should’ve been at the forefront.

5. Representation

I am skeptical of any movie that advertises diversity. Nonetheless, it made me happy to know Sulu was going to be gay. This is Star Trek after all, known for its diversity and large LGBT fan base, and an homage to George Takai who’s a gay man irl. So whatever.

The fact that I wasn’t expecting much says a lot about the current state of LGBT rep in media but this blink-and-you-miss-it shit is really starting to get to me.

I mean he jus- he doesn’t even give his husband a KISS. Like why.

6. Destroying Vulcan

WHY. Oh god why.

This isn’t Star Wars, JJ. We don’t do that here.

Imploding Vulcan was the most god awful shock value bullshit plot device I’ve ever seen in a movie and it was done entirely to make Spock sad. Besides the gaping plot hole of “why did Nero go back in time to destroy Vulcan when he could’ve just saved Romulus” I’m just grasping to find a purpose for this particular event. New fans don’t care at all about Vulcan while I was enraged that they would do Amanda that dirty.

It’s not just that they did that, it’s more that they did it like that. Vulcan’s destruction should’ve caused a federation wide meltdown as the biggest catastrophe in the entire franchise. If they were gonna make the stakes so pointlessly high, they should’ve treated the destruction of Vulcan exactly how they would treat the destruction of earth. There a million ways to treat that event with more gravity and million better plot lines that don’t involve G E N O C I D E

7. Miscellaneous petty bullshit because I’m a baby

-lower the fucking stakes Jesus Christ

-Don’t like the set. It’s bright and white and boring and gives me a headache. You don’t need a remake of the old set but like have fun ya know? Shit looks like an Apple store.

-Christine and I are the same in that we are both soft and are thirsty for Spock. Imagine my surprise to learn she wasn’t fucking there. Same with Janice but I’m more pressed about Christine. I don’t even remember the name of that blonde doctor lady who is Not Christine but i didn’t want her.

-The costumes in AOS look boring but still don’t feel like a uniform either. I deadass think Chris Pines outfit in the SNL skit looked better than the actual movie (minor adjustments needed)

-I didn’t notice this at first but someone pointed out that women’s uniforms don’t signify rank and now I can’t not see it. I don’t...think this movie treats women good? Or McCoy? Or just people who deserve better?

-Lens Flare

-I get why they did it but I don’t like that they misquoted the opening theme to say “no one” instead of “no man”. I probably wouldn’t have even notice except they gave the line to Uhura. Comes off as just a touch too “yay feminism” which is really rich coming from that treated Uhura like an object to be looked at when she wasn’t too busy being Spock’s emotional support gf, and completely cut two women from the main cast.

8. Conclusions

If I could describe these movies in one word it’d be generic. Which sucks because Star Trek far from generic.

They’re fun to watch but not think about. It was nice that I got to see a Star Trek movie in theaters. I just wish it as the same Trek I saw on TV.