#but heres her very first friend and she suddenly changes from grumpy to excited and leaping towards him

[maddisandy]

enjoy this clip of me realizing that felicity and gorim were finally reuniting in denerim

[whataboutsimple]

Hello again! I’m here to ask more questions and collect ideas for fanfiction

So, Lukas. Where’d you find Dewey? Was he hard to tame? Any shenanigans from the little guy?

Elegaard, do you own/are you interested in owning pets? Also, other than Olivia, have you ever had an assistant?

Jack/Nurm! How’d you meet?

(And Nurm, are any of the stories Jack tells actually true?)

And finally, Radar!! My favorite guy How did you become Jesse’s intern?

Sorry for so many questions!! Please feel free to split this into multiple parts.

//Start of the recording//

Lukas tapped his hands on the knees — "Ah, well- you see, I never really tamed him? To be honest, I was just wandering around jungles and decided to fish. It was quite fun! But, uh- creeper approached me from the back so I did what any normal person would do - run. I forgot my fishing rod there, so after five minutes or so I've got back and saw little oceletos eating my fish."

Lukas scratched the back of his head — "I'm not sure why he didn't run away, but I think he just connected the blocks, understanding that I'm kind of a source of the food? It's like.. I went home and he was following me, but everytime I tried to, like, touch him, he hissed, so I dropped the attempts. First few days he just kind of was there, randomly approaching me if I had fish- than he once appeared in the house and never left."

Lukas shrugged — "He's pretty grumpy from time to time and I need lots of bandages to cover little scratches he does, but other than that he's cute little guy."

Frame changes to Ellegaard sitting on the couch.

"Owning a pet would be a great waste of resources and time, which both I can't afford." — she adjusted her work-glasses — "As for Olivia, no, I've never had an assistant before. It was as much of a waste as a pet, it's easier to be productive when no noisy people are around you, especially after the fiasco with Old Order-" — she suddenly closed her mouth, looking down — "However, having Olivia around is nice change of things.. she's a good and smart girl. I believe she has a great future, with the right guidance of course."

Frame changes to Jask almost laying in the couch, hands behind the back.

"Ah! That's quite an interesting story! You see, both me and Sammy were friends before we met Vos or Nurm. And they were friends before they met us as well! So, it was a very hot day.. we just got back from raiding a desert temple, clenching onto our dear lives after we've met those cadavers. No water, no food, only endless sand.. that's, until we approached a small village! It was like an oasis, out tired bodies moving purely on enthusiasm from finding life! Some villagers met us, brought to their cleric and helped to gain back the strength. The next day we were ready to move, so youn' cartographer made us a map! But.. it's a desert, so it was hard reading it. The head of the village decided to let the cartographer show us the way, and their local adventurerer said he's going with him. That's how we all met! Ah, good ol' days.."

Frame changes to Nurm sitting on the couch. He made some villager noises.

(..dang it-)

The screen glitches, before showing Nurm and Gabriel sitting on the couch. Nurm makes some villagers noises again.

Gabriel turns to the camera — "He says most of it is true, even though Jack loves to embellish his stories."

Nurm makes noises again.

"Most of their adventures were just wandering from temple to temple making maps."

Yet again, villager noises.

"But some of them were as exciting as Jack tells. Though no one really called him the nicknames he spells."

Frame changes to Radar, nervously tapping his fingers.

"Hm.. actually- I've applied to this job mostly to piss off Stella.. I didn't expect to be recruited. Before that I was living in Champion City, only because my parents were there, so it only made sense for me to be too. However I've never actually owned Stella anything, so when she broke my last nerve, I moved to BeaconTown. That was the time Jesse was trying to find themselves a helper, cause ruling the whole town was becoming a bit too hard, and being emotional, I send an application. And actually got hired. Fantastical. I didn't even knew what type of a person Jesse were before this, but after.." — he sighted with a smile — "I think it was the best decision I ever made."

//End or the recording//

Don't worry, both me and our director Dimple Totallynotsimple love the questions! Feel free to ask more!

[mattybsluvr]

still in love with you.

matthew sturniolo

pairings: matt x fem!reader

warnings: angst, fluff, kissing.

summary: you and Matt were dating for over a year when you suddenly broke up because he moved to LA for his career, you knew it would break your heart but you knew he needed to follow his dreams and you didn’t want to stop him from success. what’s happens when you see Matt at a bar in boston?

authors note: this is my first time posting shit like this on tumblr so pls bare with me!!! also this is based on “still” by Niall Horan 😍

—————————————————————————

when your best friend, Amelie called to invite you out to the bar in your hometown, you were very hesitant.

“babe it’ll be fun! besides you can get your mind off of you know who!” amelie says with excitement in her voice. she knows you can’t say no to her, which is exactly why she’s already at your house with all of her tools. which is also why she didn’t even let you answer. she hung up and knocked on the door. you walk downstairs and open the door, and there she is, the blonde girl who’s mouth is open with a smile, holding up her bag.

“i can’t believe you drag me into this mess.” you say to her as you roll your eyes, but she pushes you upstairs and into your bathroom, doing your hair and makeup.

“i didn’t know what you’d want to wear so i brought a couple of options so-”

“amelie that’s really not necessary!” you say with urgence.

“it really was.” she gives you a blank stare while setting out the outfits she brought on the bed. every single option being way too revealing for your taste but she loves to say “you only live once” so you pick out the sleek black dress and the cute heels. once you changed, you were out the door. she was very excited for this night out. not that you knew why, exactly.

“so why are you excited to go out?” you ask with your eyebrows hinting your confusion. she just waves her hand as if to say “don’t worry about it” but of course you did. how could you not? the car stops and she walks out of the car. you open the car door and walk into the bar.

“don’t be nervous, you look amazing.” she says holding my hand. i look at her, perplexed.

“i’m not nervous? what makes you think im nervous?”

“your steps are small and your hand is a sweaty mess.” she says, but you know it isn’t to make you feel bad.

“oh.” you say. you take a deep breath and walk into the bar with all the false confidence you can muster, the bar smells of sweat and alcohol, not a great mix if you say so yourself.

when you walked in, something about matt’s demeanor changed, he was more grumpy and just wanted to leave, of course nick and chris were confused about it, since he was having fun five minutes ago.

“what’s your deal, kid?” chris asks while resting his chin in his hands.

“nothin” he says with annoyance. he’s looking at his phone when he sees both nick and chris stare directly behind him. they look at eachother.

“is that y/n? what do you think she’s doing here?” nick asks, quiet enough so only chris can hear.

“well she lives here you idiot, so i assume she’s doing what everyone else is.”

“what are you two idiots talking about?” matt asks, curiously.

“oh we just thought we saw y/n.” his eyes light up with the mention of her name, a name you’ve missed. the girl you miss.

“is she here?” he asks. he looks around the bar, searching for the specific girl. nick and chris eye eachother while he’s looking around and nick goes to text someone, Amelie.

nick: he knows

amelie: she’s getting drinks, she has no idea.

nick puts his phone down and gets up.

“i’m gonna go get a pepsi.” he tells the two brothers. they both nod. that’s when nick spots her.

“y/n?” nick sort of yells out. y/n’s whole body turns and her face lights up.

“nick! oh my god! what are you doing here” she asks as she wraps her arms around the boy.

“we’re visiting mom and dad, and trevor of course.” he laughs at the mention of his small dog. she laughs too.

“is chris here too?” she asks and he nods. he points over to the table they are sitting at, and she spots Matt right away, swallowing hard. she walks over to see chris, maybe Matt will say nothing.

“y/n!” chris gets up and jumps in her arms like a little kid. she hugs him hard, closing her eyes. she’s missed them so much. then the hard part, to look into matt’s eyes.

“hey matt.” she says with a smile, but a part of her is breaking inside, seeing him and not kissing him.

“do you think we could talk?” he asks, with his sad eyes. she nods and they walk in stride to the front of the bar and walk outside.

“bab- y/n, i’m so sorry. i really am.” he says, slipping up.

“what do you have to be sorry for? for being successful? that’s all i wanted for you.” you fidget with your hands to distract yourself from wanting to touch him. he sighs.

“it split us apart, and it doesn’t feel right.” he says with a pain in his eyes that you’ve never seen before. you’re eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“doesn’t feel right? what do you mean?”

“i mean that just because i live in a different state, i still feel you everywhere. i can smell you everywhere. like you’re right next to me.” he says, continuing on about how he’s feeling. you feel tears well up in your eyes because you’ve been feeling the exact same way. you don’t remember thinking about it, you just wrapped your arms around him, holding his head with your hand.

“i’m sorry, matt. it’s been terrible, hasn’t it?” you ask while he’s nuzzled into you.

he nods his head and he looks down at you.

“i still love you. im still in love with you.” that was all you needed to hear before you smashed your lips to his. his shock caused him to falter but he never pushed away, as soon as it hit him, his mouth is devouring yours in hungry kisses.

—————————————————————————

authors note: this actually made me want to cry because of how sweet it is 😔. (i need love) but let me know if u want a part two cus ill make one fr. if people don’t read this or whatever ill just do a different story but lmk! also i kept changing tenses but i wrote this at like 5 am so im becoming hysterical and delusional!

i love u!

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Hi, I hope it's okay that I do another request, could you please write something about the reader having a bad day somewhere new. Like it was her first day and it didn't go as she had hoped. (I had a bad day in a new environment and it didn't go as I had hoped so... yeah?) Anyway, could you please do something fluffy with Jonathan Byers comforting the reader after they come home from wherever and it's all comforting and fluffy. Please and thank you? I hope you're doing okay and your operation went okay and post-op isn't too bad

Finally fulfilling this request because I think it would genuinely help my soul to write and I hope this helps someone else too.

My body is just about to give out by the time my back hits the mattress, my pounding head making my eyes water as I listen to my fan spin on a constant loop.

College was supposed to be fun, a new experience where I learn how to find myself and really dig deep into who I am. But the day started off with me a minute late to my first intro to literature class and the professor slammed the door in my face and made the deliberate effort to lock the door, telling me silently that I wouldn't be welcome in class.

After that, a TA spilled coffee on me as she turned the corner, the scalding drink making a mess of the new sweater I bought just for today. I cried while buying some school merch from the school store, not having enough time between classes to go home and change.

The rest of the events of my day were small enough for me not to remember, other than missing my bus and being forced to walk home a mile and a half in the rain.

I was so excited to move out of Hawkins and to the amazing city of Los Angeles, to attend the school of my dreams and start over. I wanted to get a breath after the years of trauma that Hawkins inflicted upon me and my dearest friends.

And my boyfriend.

My phone ringing beside me snaps me out of my grumpy haze, my eyes tiredly opening to look over at my lit up phone, a smile taking over my expression at the sight of Jonathan's name across the screen. I'm quick to snatch it off of my pillow and answer it without hesitation.

"Hi honey." He hums and my eyes flutter to picture him laying in a similar way that I am, back against his headboard, a fond, excited smile sprawled out across his lips at the sound of my quiet breathing through the phone line.

It's been difficult to get used to the long distance but with Jonathan and I both being very independent people, we've only flourished and our relationship has only gotten stronger. But I'd be lying if I said that, after a day like this, I didn't miss his arms around me.

"Hey, babe. How are you?" I ask, kicking my feet up on the bed and kicking my uncomfortable shoes off at the same time, letting out a breath of relief.

"Good, good. Hopper just left, came over to help Will with some essay." Jonathan chuckles, a small chuckle leaving him as a smirk spreads across my lips.

"Oh, he came just for Will? Not for your mom." I snort, pulling a groaned laugh from my boyfriend as the line breaks up for a moment as he moves.

"Shut up. How was your day?" He asks and suddenly my laughter and happiness is sucked from me at the slight recollection of everything that's happened to me today and shame fills me at the thought of having to tell him how poorly it went. "It was your first day of classes right?" He quizzes with a small sniffle.

"Yeah..." I trail off with a small sigh, shaking my head as my eyes flutter shut. "Would it be already just to say that it was the worst day ever but that I really don't wanna talk about it?" I whisper, my voice trembling a bit and my stomach swirling anxiously.

"Yeah, uh, are you sure you're okay?" He asks, his own anxiety lacing his voice at the thought of me feeling such weighted emotions without him being here to pluck them away, one by one.

"I'm okay now that we're talking. Just tell me something to cheer me up." I laugh, reaching up to bat away any stray tears that have escaped me without permission, my eyes burning.

"Hmm." He hums, clicking his tongue. "I could tell you how much I love you?" He offers and I giggle, rolling over onto my stomach at his cheesiness. "I could tell you how much I missed you today and since you've been gone-"

"Yeah I like this plan." I cheer, a huge grin taking over my flushed, tear stained cheeks.

"Oh yeah?" He laughs, the image of his eyes burning into my mind. "Alright, then stop interrupting and let me make you feel better."

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[shivada-jade]

codename: vind

older sibling!reader

characters: diluc, kaeya ➡ mentions: adelinde, crepus, la signora warning(s): alcohol consumption, swearing, and because for some reason, older siblings tend to be shorter than younger siblings. iDK WHY but ugh, yeah you're shorter than diluc and kaeya bc you're the older sibling. ik, i hate it too

like, i wanna be a tall 6'2 woman

diluc's 5'10 so u can still be tall in the story.. just not 5'11 😢 sorry over 5'10 folks

➡ WRITTEN BEFORE 2.1 so uhh :D

notes: platonic w diluc and kaeya, duh bc ur the older sibling. sibling love!!! sibling love !! woop woop !

"Dad, I'm home!" You bellow out to the house, waving a polite hello to Adelinde who looked shocked to see you. You kick off your shoes and slide your way to the long table in the living room, swiftly grabbing an apple before heading upstairs.

Your hands graze the railings and make your way up to find your dad. Upon reaching the last flight of steps, you were suspicious with how the place was very quiet. Granted, your younger brothers are now adults, but it still felt too quiet. Maybe you expected to see your brothers playing a game of chess, maybe bickering and fencing. You were hoping to see your family after being away.

You were a part of the Fatui under the Mondstadt branch. It was and at the same time wasn't a choice to be roped into the Fatui. You got roped into the wrong group of friends and found yourself blackmailed by the infamous group.

You didn't want to join. You didn't want any of it. You've been disconnected from the world. Wiped out from the face of Earth. No one gave information to you, you couldn't learn anything about what's happening currently. The most you could do was send letters, but even those were difficult to send out. You had to do it in secrecy or you'd be in trouble.

Love, the better sibling,

[Y/N]

Or another common send off is:

Please write back soon,

[Y/N]

And your family never failed to send back letters. They asked what you're doing, where you are and how are you, still you never told them your occupation, fearful of what they would think and where your loyalties lie, so you told them you were working under an adventurer.

It's for the greater good. You remember trying to convince yourself.

You're a horrible person.

You were sixteen then. Your younger brothers were twelve. It's been 10 long years since you last saw them, and 6 years since you last received a letter back. You miss them dearly. You often wondered what sorts of adventures they did without you.

But why are you wondering about this? You knew what they did: you knew everything that happened.

You're living under a heavy burden.

"Dad?" You call out again. Maids and wine makers look aghast when they see you, and they're on the verge of fainting when you call out to your father.

Stop the act.

It's strange how the letters were suddenly cut off. The last letter you received was from Kaeya, telling you how you needed to come home straight away. You tried to, but the Fatui prevented you from doing so. A lady called La Signora supervised you directly to make sure you didn't leave.

You know...

Adelinde brushes the dust off her uniform and hurries up the stairs to catch up to you, "Dear, is that you [Y/N?]"

"Did you forget me that easily? I'm offended Miss Adelinde," you chided, but the teasing look in your eyes give Adelinde relief to know you aren't actually offended. "Miss, where's dad?"

You're sickening.

Adelinde takes one look at you and squeezes your shoulders with a smile, "I'm afraid that's not for me to say. Master Diluc should be able to-"

"Oh, where's Diluc and Kaeya?" You ponder, and the corners of your lips curl upwards. "Those two were always attached to the hip. Where are they now? Horseback riding at the vineyard? Ha! I-"

You glance at Adelinde's watery eyes and stop your babbling. "What's wrong Miss Adelinde?" You reach for her hands on your shoulders and hold them. "Ah, has father been making you work too hard? I can request him to lessen your load."

Adelinde shakes her head no. "You don't have a clue, do you? Oh," she sighs. "Please, rest yourself by the fireplace. I'll prepare tea for you." She rests her hands back at her side and scurries to the kitchen.

You frown, unsure why she's jumpy, but you follow her request and sit by the fireplace. The crackle of the fire contrasts the tense air you feel when maids brush past you, offering tea Adelinde made. You thank them, gently blowing on the drink.

After taking a sip, you place it down with a pinky to lessen the noise it makes on the table. You hear the door open, and the choruses of maids greeting someone.

"Welcome home, Master Diluc," you hear and other voices saying, "We've prepared a meal for you and your sibling, would you like to rest yourself?"

You peek from your chair, he obviously hadn't realized you yet.

Diluc's lips make a thin line and shrugs off his jacket, "Why is Kaeya visiting. Isn't he supposed to do his knightly duties?"

You have no clue why he says it like that. The venom in his voice sends a shiver down your spine. You decide this is your cue to give him a warm welcome. You stand from your seat, and open your arms in a grand gesture and waltz to your brother. "Diluc! It's been a while huh?"

You clearly see him tense hearing your voice. His head snapped to your direction with his mouth parted. The maids respectively take their leave, bowing before they do so.

Diluc looks you up and down, still not believing you're there, like you're just his imagination. His hand slowly reaches out to you as if you're a dream.

Your feet lead you closer and you grasp him tightly in an embrace.

He freezes, but slowly relaxes in your hug, reluctantly bringing up his own arms to wrap around you. You feel his grip tightening, and you feel his shake out silent sobs. His face buries in your neck, letting tears fall on your clothes.

You soothe his back, and press a kiss on his hair. "I'm home, Diluc."

He trembles, pushing himself away to look at you clearly. Why hadn't you come home earlier? He wanted to vent, he wanted to yell, shout, he wanted to know how much he missed you in your absence.

He clears his throat and coughs in his fist. "You should have told me about your arrival," he adjusts the gloves on his hands, and looks to the floor like he did when he admitted he accidentally broke your toy when you were 10.

After these years, he still looks up to you as his older sibling. Not a thing has changed.

But you couldn't help but notice one thing. You knew Diluc and Kaeya had matured, you knew they would grow taller, but shit, now Diluc's taller than you.

"I sent a letter a month ago," you began. "It should have been sent to your office in the Favonius Headquarters? That's where I send my mail after you told me about your promotion to Cavalry Captain."

You squish his cheeks with both your hands. "Because I know you're a workaholic and only respond to letters that mean business, so that's where I sent it off to. You never write back, neither does Kaeya," you pause, thinking for a moment. "Neither does dad. Tell me he hasn't gotten sick that he couldn't respond to my letters."

Diluc lifts your hands off his face and frowns. He doesn't know how to break the news to you- not when you look so excited to be home and tell of your adventures to your family, so he asks, "Did you eat yet?"

You note the frown on his face. "'What's got you grumpy," you prod. "I need to find dad first. Told him in the first letter I gave him, I'd give the first gem I find."

Diluc watches you leave him to go to Crepus' room on the second floor. He hears the thuds on the floor and the opening of the door, but does nothing to stop you. You left with a smile, and you come back confused.

"Why is dad's room empty?"

How cruel.

...

Kaeya hums, passing by Flora's shop and purchasing a Calla Lily for the sake of it. He is well aware of the Fatui that stand by corners. Whispers of the wind give him intel, and so does alcohol apparently. He leans on a wall right outside Angel's Share, watching two Fatui members drink some of the tavern's strongest alcohol, imported from Snezhnaya.

"That damn," the one with the red and black mask hiccups, lifting a mug with foam overflowing. "Damn brat's gonna snitch on us to the Knights- *hiCC* boss lady wou- *HicC* would have our heads!"

Thankfully, their more responsible Fatui friend takes the mug and switches it with their drink, water. "You're the one who let Vindicta out of your sight when you know their frequencies to escape. This is all on you, buckaroo."

One of the Fatui escaped? How peculiar.

Kaeya hums, in steady strides he shows himself to the Fatui and takes a seat from another table and sits in front of the two. "My, my, my. If it isn't the wonderful Fatui," he divuldges. He twirls his Calla Lily around his fingers, amused with the Fatui's reactions.

Their mouths drop, knowing who he is and they hastily clean themselves up by sitting straight and wiping away the alcohol from their faces. "Good evening, sir."

"Evening to you too," he places the flower behind the person's ear, flustering them. "Well? Drink up. Everything you order will be on me."

The Fatui look at each other, skeptical with Kaeya's kindness, but the drunken one accepts the offer. Kaeya celebrates in the inside as he slowly gains Fatui intel.

Though, the second Fatui whom he dubbed the "Responsible One," took a while for them to take a sip. Turns out, they couldn't handle alcohol, that's why they avoided drinking it.

"So, my dear friends," he slides a coin on the table and stares both of them down. "A mora for your thoughts? I couldn't help but notice the tense of your shoulders when you first arrived here."

Responsible One raises their mug drunkenly, and gives a pointed look, "You... you know too much. How?..." They stare at their friend and whisper shout, "Don't tell him about Vind or-" They fail to continue their sentence and pass out on the table.

Kaeya feigns a surprised face and looks at Fatui number 2, "Who exactly is Vind? I'm sure you don't mean the storm watcher up at the cliff." He coats his voice with sugar, and it seems Fatui friend fell for his kindness.

"The damn brat," they spit out before hiccupping again. "Recruited them, fed them, saw potential, gave a home, and they escaped."

Kaeya nods and pushes another bottle of wine to the Fatui's direction, urging them to continue.

"Was supposed to be one of the Agents to spy on the *hiCc* to spy on the Ragnvindr family, because *HicC* Vind was one of the best there is. They were about to be promoted Harbinger after an assignment *hiCCUpp* but then Big Boss Lady said 'End the Ragnvindr legacy,' Vindicta left without a word. They escaped."

The Fatui downs another bottle of wine. "But judging from Boss Lady's reaction, Vind did the job: killed him and placed the blame on the Knights."

The Calvary Captain knits his brows and places his hands in front of him. It laced themselves and he watches the Fatui person empty out his wine.

"I'd be careful of what you say if I were you." His lone eye glints dangerously.

"End the legacy?" Kaeya frowns. "Can I ask..." He couldn't ask why or the Fatui would stop talking to him. "Can I ask when your beloved spy did their job?"

The Fatui waves a hand, "Six years ago. After they killed that damn aristocrat's father, they tried escaping. Big Boss supervised them under their watch. 'Potential' the Harbingers always say, but I don't see the potential in them if they don't have loyalties under the Fatui. A wild card, really."

They lay their cheek on the table. The temperature drops quite dangerously. Kaeya's diamond eye glints with coldness before it turns back to warmth.

"Rumours have it," the Fatui sighs, playing with his empty mug. "The training Vindicta went through is rougher, so we were hoping they would tie their loyalties to us. We let them explore once, and they escaped under my watch. Maybe it was their assignment to leave, maybe it's not, because Boss Lady was okay with it, she said 'Vindicta will always return in our hands.' when they first escaped, and surely enough they do return. But either way, I'm fucked for letting them go missing the third time of the week."

Kaeya laughs with no soul and quickly ends the lovely 'conversation.' He pushes himself from the table and stands, "Thank you for chatting with me, it's been interesting." He tucks in the chair and glances at the two Fatui dozing, or close to dozing off.

He swiftly turns away, scoffing when he's out of sight from people. Vindicta is a dangerous card. Not even the Fatui know where their loyalties side.

Vindicta. How peculiar indeed.

One of the best Fatui, which probably meant they were payed well with respect and mora, but why are they labeled as an escapee when they always return? With someone as dangerous as a Harbinger, who do they side with- the Fatui or something else?

Kaeya has a lot of questions.

...

Diluc sits on a cushioned chair and hunches over, resting his chin on his hands, thinking.

Always thinking.

The once lit fireplace is soaked with water he splashed over. The scent of burnt wood wafts nearby. The light chatter of maids go through one ear and leave the other.

How long had it been since he last saw you?

Eternity is his answer. It's been eternity since he last saw you.

He lets out a long sigh, throwing his head back and running a hand through his untied locks.

Too much thinking for today. Diluc groans in frustration and sits back up. He turns his head slightly, seeing you in the corner of his eyes taking out boxes of things you owned from 10 years before.

It doesn't make sense to him. Why come back so suddenly after years of not seeing you? Though, you claim you sent him letters, he never got them because he closed himself off from the Knights.

"Diluc," you set down a small picture of a family portrait you took out from hiding behind many books.

You are taking this oddly well.

You're taking this too well, in fact.

This raises a red flag for Diluc. He told you the fall out of your family, how he quit the Knights, but still you're going around the place like nothing had happened.

Don't you feel any rage? Or even sadness?

He sees too many red flags and hates it- from the way you can hide things like Kaeya so easily, to the way you just suddenly appear back in his life. It feels weird. It's not easy to let someone that in quick, yet you're still his role model, so it's okay, right?

He's always looked up to you when he was younger. You never were at a loss of words and stood up for him. You were the person he can turn to when something wrong happens, but what were you doing for yourself to be gone for so long? Adventuring Teyvat could not have taken ten whole years. Where did you even stay?

"Diluc," you crouch in front of him and talk to him as if he were six again. "I'm okay, okay?"

Diluc takes a shaky breath and sits up straight. His posture resembling a king's. "I have an idea, and I would like you to help me."

You look at him in awe. The realization settles in: Diluc has grown, and you're still stuck trying to make up the past.

"And what do I help you with?"

"Finding who's responsible for father's death."

notes: had this in my drafts for a long time and i was like "wait where was i going with this..." until BAM i have the idea again so im gonna continue it

(part 2)

[storytellerofuntoldlegends]

an icarus and his sun: chapter 3

A/N: seablings headcanon? seablings headcanon. (i adore jimmy and lizzie's dynamic, they're siblings ur honor. and joel makes a pretty great in-law tbh)

Warnings: arguing, flirting, teasing/banter

AO3 Link - Tumblr Masterpost 

-

Katherine was extremely serious about the “no weapons” thing. Not a single tool was allowed, not even shovels or hoes. She had everyone place their weapons and tools in specifically marked chests, assuring each of them that they could get them back after the meeting, and that her iron golems would protect them from any threats if they were to arise. Besides, the chests were just at the entrance of her castle, visible from the meeting table. They could easily rush to their weapons if need be. It didn’t mean anyone was less jumpy about it, though. And Jimmy was particularly antsy- Fwhip was practically glowering at the table, and while Sausage looked outwardly cheerful, there was an edge to every word he spoke. Jimmy couldn’t fight the paranoia that one or both of them had snuck weapons to the meeting, and was just waiting for the right moment to strike.

And then there was Scott. There wasn’t anything outwardly shifty about the winged elf, but… there was definitely… something. Jimmy wasn’t sure what it was, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off Scott. He was perfectly poised, as always, every hair in place and wings mantled. There was something elegant and serene about Scott as he listened to Katherine speak with a gentle smile. His gaze was focused on her, and Jimmy tried to search those icy blue eyes for any hint of malice. He found nothing but kindness, and that was what worried him. Surely Scott should be up to something… right? He had seemed so hostile the other day, but then they both apologized to each other… maybe he had nothing to worry about. But then there was that strange, soft yet calculating look he had given Jimmy, like he could finally start seeing the complete picture a puzzle would make. Was that something bad?

Jimmy’s thoughts were interrupted by Scott’s eyes suddenly meeting his, one eyebrow raised. Jimmy tried his best not to jump as he quickly looked away, focusing on Katherine. He could still feel Scott’s eyes on him, and absurdly, Jimmy felt like he was melting. Figures that Scott would have secret laser eyes or something. He wouldn’t even need a weapon, that was his plan all along. Surely that’s why Jimmy felt like he was going to implode, he definitely wasn’t embarrassed. Definitely. Thankfully, Scott’s eyes shifted away as Katherine spoke again.

“Now, there is one very important thing I wanted to discuss at this meeting. I don’t know if any of you have heard, but there are some new empires rising up. I think we should do our best to welcome the new rulers,” Katherine said. For the first time in the whole meeting, Fwhip looked interested. Somehow that scared Jimmy more than when he was grumpy and despondent.

“What would you suggest?” Fwhip asked, voice smooth and suspiciously charming. Jimmy didn’t like his tone one bit, but Katherine seemed to fall for it, beaming at Fwhip’s sudden interest.

“I would like to hold the first ever House Blossom Ball. All rulers will be invited, and it will be held in honor of the two new empires in our lands,” she explained.

“Oh that sounds wonderful!” Gem exclaimed, and excited murmurs of agreement circled through the room. But Jimmy felt uneasy. He did like the idea of a ball, dancing and dressing up fancy with friends sounded fun! But Fwhip’s excitement didn’t sit quite right with him, and there was the other issue of the two new empires. How did they know they could really trust them? Establishing a good relationship was important, yes, but was inviting them in so openly the best idea? Jimmy had tried being so open before, but look where that got him. A war over a disc, and a ravine on the outskirts of his empire. And now whatever was happening between him and Scott. Then suddenly, as if just thinking of him prompted him to speak, Scott brought up one of the very things that Jimmy was worried about.

“What do we know about these empires? Do you think we can trust them?” he asked. The excited murmurs stopped, something uneasy settling in the air instead. Katherine faltered for a moment, but kept her head high.

“The House Blossom Ball will hold the same rule as our meetings now do: no weapons. So unwarranted attacks will not be an issue. And not a lot is known about the other empires… they are just starting out, after all. One of them is in the jungle, and his empire can only be found if you are lost. The other empire seems to have sprouted up from nowhere, but its ruler has come a long way to settle here. In a way, both are lost. As the ten ruling powers in this land, I think it is our duty to welcome them so that they won’t have to be lost anymore,” Katherine said firmly.

“Poetic,” Fwhip said, voice a little overly saccharine for Jimmy’s liking. Katherine seemed a little put off by his tone as well, but didn’t comment on it. A determined frown came to Jimmy’s face. His skepticism be damned, he was going to support Katherine. He turned to her and smiled, reaching out to gently clasp Katherine’s hand, not unlike how she had after the last meeting.

“I agree with you, Katherine. Let’s help them be found,” Jimmy said softly, giving her hand a light squeeze before letting go. Katherine smiled at the touch, seeming grateful that Jimmy backed her up.

“Can’t believe I’m saying this, but I agree with Jimmy,” Scott said dryly. Jimmy looked to Scott in surprise, expecting more of a fight, some clever retort or thought-out reason for why the ball couldn’t happen.

“Thank you, Scott,” Jimmy said, unable to keep a small smile off of his face. Scott’s nose scrunched up in irritation- and yup, there was the Scott he knew. Always looking at Jimmy with disdain or irritation.

“I was more supporting Katherine here than anything else,” Scott pointed out with a huff.

“But you specifically mentioned me…” Jimmy trailed off with a teasing grin. Scott’s cheeks tinted pink, just ever so slightly- but he still glared at Jimmy in frustration.

“Shut up,” he muttered. Jimmy grinned wider.

“Make me,” he teased, parroting Scott’s words from the last meeting. Sausage gasped, excitedly tapping Pearl’s arm as she shushed him and muttered something about how we had talked about this, Sausage.

“Well… we definitely have two supporters of the ball, any other thoughts?” Katherine asked, not-so-subtly changing the subject.

“I am absolutely in support, it sounds fun!” Gem replied, elbowing Fwhip. He jumped, and nodded in agreement.

“If Scott and Jimmy are going to be there, I definitely want to see what goes down,” Sausage chimed in with a grin. Scott and Jimmy both made an offended sound, but Pearl spoke up before either of them could say anything.

“And it’s a good diplomatic foot forward with the two new empires, Sausage. I think the ball is a lovely idea, Katherine,” Pearl said, offering an apologetic smile to both Scott and Jimmy for Sausage’s comment.

“I’m in too! I’d love a chance to dress all fancy and dance with Joel,” Lizzie added, linking arms with Joel and gazing up at him with a charming smile. Joel blushed a bit, and nodded his agreement as well.

“Well, since it seems like everyone else is going to this dance, guess I’d better show up too,” Pixl said with a nonchalant shrug and a grin. Katherine clapped her hands in excitement.

“Oh wonderful! I think I’ll cut this meeting short then, I have a lot of preparations to take care of, and I will send out the invitations soon!” Katherine said, rising from the table. The other rulers followed her lead, each of them bidding her goodbye before they went to their respective chests to retrieve their weapons and tools.

“I look forward to the ball, Katherine. I’m sure it’ll be a blast,” Fwhip said with a bow of his head and a cocky grin. Katherine beamed in response.

“Thank you! I’m glad to see you’re excited!” she replied, bowing her head to Fwhip as well. Jimmy still wasn’t sure how he felt about Fwhip’s sudden interest at the meeting… but then again Fwhip was only really Jimmy’s enemy. He and Katherine were on good terms, after all. He should trust Katherine’s judgement, even if he didn’t like Fwhip. He did, however, wait until Fwhip left to walk up to Katherine and bid her goodbye.

“See you later, Katherine! I’m excited for the ball, I’m sure with you in charge it will go great!” he said with a grin. Katherine laughed, blushing slightly.

“Aw, thanks Jimmy! And who knows, maybe the ball will not only forge new alliances with the new empires, but will strengthen or fix the bonds of the current ones,” Katherine said, glancing pointedly at Scott, whose back was to them as he looked over his weapons, before she looked back at Jimmy. She smiled not-so-innocently, and Jimmy’s face flushed in embarrassment.

“I- well, I dunno about that. But… maybe. Today’s meeting didn’t go too bad, right?” Jimmy asked with a hopeful smile. Katherine giggled.

“Right! You guys are really turning a corner here, I can feel it!” she chirped. Jimmy laughed, shaking his head.

“Whatever you say, Katherine. I’ll be off now,” Jimmy said, bowing his head.

“Bye!” Katherine replied, bowing her head too and offering a little wave as Jimmy left. He waved back, and was still smiling to himself as he met Joel and Lizzie outside. The two of them had their elytra on, and there was a smug grin on Lizzie’s face that Jimmy didn’t like one bit.

“What’s that smile for?” Jimmy asked with a laugh as he equipped his elytra.

“Oh, I was just thinking about how you couldn’t contribute anything to the first half of the meeting because you were making eyes at a certain elf,” Lizzie said with a teasing lilt.

“I wasn’t ‘making eyes,’ I was making sure that he wasn’t up to anything!” Jimmy spluttered.

“Sure you were,” Lizzie crooned, taking off before Jimmy got a chance to respond. Joel sighed, smiling sympathetically at him before following after Lizzie. Jimmy took off too, the conversation far from over, in his opinion.

-

Jimmy wasn’t quite fast enough to keep up with Lizzie, but she and Joel waited for him on the dock outside of his house. The three of them had often hung out and chatted on the dock, long before Joel and Lizzie had gotten married or even began courting. Their empires had been much smaller then, but the bond between the three of them hadn’t changed. Which was why Jimmy was (affectionately) furious with Lizzie for implying something about himself and Scott. He sat down beside her, feet dangling over the water.

“Explain yourself, right now,” Jimmy huffed, trying to put on an angry act but couldn’t really keep it up with Lizzie. She smiled far too innocently at him, and okay. Maybe he could manage a frustrated expression pointed at her.

“I mean, she’s got a point. Plus I heard about that uh- scuffle, you two had,” Joel said, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leaned forward to look past Lizzie at Jimmy.

“Ooh yeah, Katherine did tell us about that. You’d better watch out for those land boys, Jimmy. They’re trouble,” Lizzie said with a mock-concerned tone, but her playful grin gave her away. Joel shifted to look at Lizzie with an offended noise.

“Babe, I’m right here,” he said, near pouting.

“I know what I said. You’re trouble, King of Mezalea,” Lizzie teased.

“Like you’re any better, Ocean Queen,” Joel replied with a laugh. Lizzie giggled, playfully swatting at Joel's arm.

"You may be right, but this is about Jimmy’s troublesome land boy," Lizzie pointed out as she turned back to Jimmy.

"He's not my land boy!" he protested, face heating up slightly.

"Aww, that blush says otherwise!" Lizzie teased.

“He could be your land boy if you weren’t so busy trying to kill each other,” Joel chimed in.

“That’s exactly why he’s never gonna be ‘mine,’ he hates me, and I hate him! There’s nothing else going on!” Jimmy protested.

“Are you sure you two hate each other? You seemed pretty friendly at the meeting today,” Joel pointed out, voice a bit more gentle than the teasing tone it had been before. Jimmy sighed.

“That’s only cause Katherine insisted on us apologizing to each other when we uh. Fought. We’re only playing nice for Katherine’s sake,” Jimmy said sheepishly.

“Uh huh. Or you’re playing nice because you think Scott is pretty,” Lizzie teased, elbowing Jimmy playfully.

“I don’t think he’s pretty! I- I mean objectively he looks nice I guess but it’s more irritating than anything! How can a guy be so perfectly poised and elegant all the time, it’s annoying!” Jimmy spluttered. Joel and Lizzie exchanged amused, bewildered looks before looking back at Jimmy.

“Wow, you really do have it bad for him, huh,” Joel commented with a disbelieving laugh. Jimmy made an offended sound, opening his mouth to retort but was halted by Lizzie patting his arm comfortingly.

“It’s okay Jimmy, I’m sure Scott will come around and see what a sweet swamp boy you are,” she crooned, Jimmy flushing at the childhood nickname Lizzie always used for him.

“You two are impossible, nothing’s going to happen between us! And I’d prefer it that way!” Jimmy shot back with a frown.

“Methinks the cod boy protests too much,” Joel said dryly.

“I’m the Codfather, thank you very much,” Jimmy huffed.

“Hey, maybe if things work out really well, you’ll be a Codhusband,” Lizzie replied with a sly grin. Jimmy buried his face in his hands, trying to hide how bright red he was.

“Stop iiiit,” he whined. Lizzie only laughed, but threw an arm around his shoulders to give a small hug in apology. Joel reached around Lizzie to pat Jimmy’s back, and despite the teasing he had endured from them, Jimmy felt pleasantly warm and comforted all the same. Although to be fair, Joel and Lizzie always playfully teased him. But it would often end like this, the three of them nestled close together on the edge of the dock, watching the sun set over the water.

-

Taglists below! Ask to be added or removed!!

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[buckyownsmylife]

sunlight sunset - andy barber smut

The one where Andy throws you a baby shower and you thank him after.

Warnings: smut (p in v), masturbation (f), dirty talk, probably a little bit of daddy kink, pregnancy, the misconstruct of gender that I tried to avoid by referring to biological sex only, curse words, dirty talk

A/N: this was requested by 🤰 anon and it turned out to be much fluffier than any smut I’d ever written previously. Also, I ended up changing the idea of the reader’s “thank you”, I don’t really know why,  but I just figured Andy would be in really soft mindset after a baby shower 🤷‍♀️ Also, this is sort of a part two to this fic

Andy’s P.O.V.

“Shh, everyone! I think I hear her!” All around me, the sound of conversation suddenly dulled, people trying to make themselves smaller to fit behind furniture or walls and I had to cough to hide a laugh, but truly, it was just sweet. There weren’t many people in my apartment, Y/N didn’t have a lot of friends she cared enough to let them be a part of her pregnancy, and I still hadn’t managed to get her father to accept the idea of his baby girl having a baby, but at least her mom was here and Jacob was too.

“Do you think she’ll like it?” My son asked me, fingers absentmindedly playing with a blue balloon while his eyes remained trained on the door, waiting for her to burst through. I knew he was hoping for a little boy, someone he could help shape and not worry about, but I was rooting for a baby girl despite not having the guts to admit it to my girlfriend. I could just perfectly see it, me and her, raising this little version of her together, and she’d be loud and opinionated and the best parts of both of us and I just loved her already. 

I knew it was a girl. I just knew it. I felt it deep in my gut, every night when I talked to Y/N’s still barely-there belly. But I let her and Jacob believe it was a boy. That was just something I kept to myself and my unborn child, the secret that would come out tonight.

“I sure hope so,” I muttered, trying to look unworried but probably failing. It’s just, Y/N had been having such a hard time lately, between telling her parents about the pregnancy, moving in with me, telling Jacob and her friends and it was just a whirlwind of emotions for us both, but of course, it hit her harder than me. She was the one dealing with the body changes and the misconceptions that people had about the nature of our relationship. I just wanted this one experience to show her how this pregnancy wasn’t all stress and tears.

But of course, I should have known better.

“Surprise!” Everyone shouted when the door opened, a surprised Y/N covering her mouth as she took in the balloons, her friends, the cake and me. And then, as if on cue, she burst into tears.

I shouldn’t have expected any different, really. After the first initial shock wore off, I found myself chuckling as I beckoned my sobbing girlfriend into my arms, delighted to have her warm body to squeeze again.

“Baby, don’t cry… This is supposed to be a nice thing!” It only made her cry harder, clutching at my shirt as I couldn’t control my amusement, trying to get her to separate from me just enough so I could cradle her face.

“It is nice! It’s so nice… I don’t deserve you, Andy.” The thought was so absurd to me that a fucking snort came out as I grazed her cheekbones with my thumbs. God, she was beautiful. And mine. All mine.

“Oh, please, sweetheart. If anything, I’m the one who’s unworthy of you.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

The utter stupidity of the statement had me gasping, and then promptly slapping one of the arms with which he was holding me. “Don’t be an idiot. You’re too intelligent for that.” That earned me one of those hearty laughters that started from the depths of his chest and that warmed me to my very core, leaving my face burning. God, how I loved this man. And how I loved to be the reason for his laughter.

“C’mon, princess. Let’s open that envelope. I’m dying to know what we’re expecting.” Oh, right. As if on cue, my hands started sweating and my heartbeat picked up, the anxiety about knowing our child’s biological sex finally hitting. I was hoping for a boy, but I knew he wanted a girl. As much as he tried to hide it, I could just read right through his expectant face.

With shaky hands, I reached into my purse and pulled out the little red envelope that the doctor had given me. At first, I thought it was weird that Andy had decided to skip this one appointment, since he was so enthusiastic about being a part of everything, but now, as I stared at the balloon and the familiar faces of my friends, it made sense.

“Can I open it?” He asked, almost too quietly, large palm turned up as he waited for my reaction. I didn’t need to think about it, immediately dropping the paper in his hand, almost laughing at how ridiculously small it looked with him holding it. “Here we go.”

I knew all around us, everyone was waiting to hear the single word contained in that note, excitement barely concealed as the air around us felt electrified with it. But I couldn’t even care. At the most, I noticed my mom and Jacob holding hands not that far from where I stood with Andy, and the image made me smile right as my boyfriend’s face lit up like a christmas tree when he processed the doctor’s ruling.

“A girl. It’s a girl. We’re having a girl!” He darted into my arms and behind me, I felt as someone else - most likely Jacob - hugged me too. They were followed by each and every person in the room, until there was no one else to congratulate me on the news. We ate cake, talked and then, one by one, everyone left, and it was only Andy and me.

When I turned to look at him, after seeing the last visitor out, it was only to find his darkened, lust-filled eyes staring right at me as he sized me up, his hands in his pockets and the sweetest cockiest smirk on his lips.

“Come here, baby.” There was no hesitation, I didn’t even think before I moved in his direction. As I approached, he sat on the couch behind him, hands beckoning me closer and closer, until I was just close enough that he could easily pull me to straddle his legs.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he whispered as he nuzzled his bearded face against my neck, tickling me while making my pussy throb at the same time. A shiver of pure desire ran up my spine, right as I started to unconsciously grind my crotch over his, already desperate for a release.

“I-I’m thinking…” I tried, only to stop in a gasp as Andy suddenly seized my waist, forcing my movements to gather some speed. The friction was nothing like what I truly wanted, but it was just enough to make me whimper for my boyfriend’s wonderful touch.

Andy’s P.O.V.

“Tell me, sweetheart,” I urged, knowing that I was teasing her and knowing that she knew, especially since I couldn’t keep the smirk off of my face. “If you tell me what you want, I might give it to you.”

It was an offer she couldn’t resist, I knew even before I whispered it in her ear, but as I kept stimulating her body and she didn’t find a way to stop me, instead of finally confessing what was going through her mind, what I got was an exasperated, “Stop doing that! I don’t wanna cum yet!”

It made me laugh and decide that I definitely wouldn’t be stopping any time soon, so I opted to suck on one of her earlobes, appreciating the little shiver that she tried to hide before asking, “Why not?”

She hesitated for a second, but I couldn’t tell if it was because she wanted to hide it or if she simply still couldn’t gather her thoughts enough to voice them, although the way her fingers were buried in my shoulders made me think the last option was more probable. At last, she admitted right right before throwing her head back and whining, “Because I want to be the one pleasing you.”

She was heaving now, delicious breasts bouncing before me and just begging to have my mouth wrapped around one nipple, but her confession felt so silly I ended up laughing and capturing one of them between my fingers, instead.

“Can’t you feel what seeing you like this does to me?” I asked, making sure to raise my hips so there was no denying the hard line of my cock against her cunt. “I’m sorry you don’t feel like cumming, princess, because that’s exactly what you’re going to do. So just relax and accept it.”

It didn’t take long for her to cum after that, and I took in every beautiful second of the perfect image as her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her hips seemed to take a rhythm of their own.

“That’s my girl,” I cooed softly as I watched her slowly come back to me, eyes blinking lazily to look up at me from under her eyelashes with an expression that was simply sinful. “Can you open this for me, baby girl?” I asked as my hands remained occupied with holding her up, gesturing towards my own crotch, but it felt unnecessary when her hands immediately flew down to rub the boner I’d been sporting for quite a while.

“Yes, princess. Can you get my cock out, please? I really need to be inside of you now,” I confessed, nose rubbing over the soft skin of her neck as her small hands expertly unzipped my pants and I raised my hips up just enough so she could wrap her fist around my member and pull it from its confines.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Nothing felt quite as good as having my hand wrapped around Andy’s cock, knowing it would be inside of me, making me whole in just a few seconds. And knowing that he was giving me the control to grab it and put it in me myself just had me excited like nothing else.

“You’re not wearing any underwear,” I noted, raising myself just enough to rub the head of his member against my lower lips. The action had him grunting before groaning in frustration, grip in my ass tightening in a sort of warning.

“No, I figured it’d be easier this way. Didn’t anticipate you being such a tease, though.” The grumpy tone of his voice made me giggle, and I slowly lowered myself down on his hard cock, moaning out loud and holding my own breasts as he hissed to the feeling of my pussy squeezing him.

“You feel so fucking good.” Just the hoarseness of his voice had me whining, even before he used the grip on my ass to make me start riding him. “You make me feel so good, baby girl. No one can make me feel as good as you do.”

Only this man could have me simultaneously melting from his sweetness while cumming on his dick while he pounded me from the bottom. “I wish I could keep you right here, sweetheart. Right here, sitting on my dick, all day, everyday.”

I saw the way his eyes never left my bouncing breasts, and when he licked his lips with an expression of pure hunger, I came, knowing I was bringing him with me when he let out a high-pitched moan and picked up his pace.

“Fuck, I’m yours, princess. I’m yours. Thank you for giving me our little family. I love you.” Grabbing his hand to give a kiss to his knuckles, I took a second to appreciate just how incredible this man was. Despite how hard this could be, I knew I’d never regret having him beside me.

[20moonchild21]

𝗦𝗲𝗵𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵𝘁 [𝗯𝘁𝘀]

⇉ 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 11

[pairings]

JK x female!oc, Bunny!JK x human!female!oc, Jin x female!oc, Leopard!Jin x human!female!oc, Jimin x female!oc, white Tiger!Jimin x human!female!oc, Taehyung x female!oc, black Tiger!Taehyung x human!female!oc, JK x Jin x Jimin x Taehyung x female!oc

[warnings]

self-doubts, mentions of an abusive past

[words]

4.0k

[author]

Hey there! I really hope you had an amazing week so far. For me, I finally finished all my exams this week. This means I will have finished school forever in only 4 weeks!😱 How crazy is that?!

Important information:

Next Wednesday I won’t upload a new chapter, because I am at a funeral, and I don’t think I will be in the mood to do anything that day anymore. I hope you can understand🙏🏼

If you don’t want to wait until next Sunday for my next chapter, I can only recommend you to check out Inferiority complex written by my friend @starlightauroras-main. It’s a super cute and exciting story about Hybrid!Jimin and the reader. Please, leave her a lot of likes and comments, because she deserves it!

Here in Germany, it is Easter weekend next week. Do you celebrate Easter where you come from?

Stay safe and healthy!

Mꨄ

[chapter 10 ||| chapter 12]

Jungkook was sitting crossed legs on his favourite spot in the middle of the hallway, looking dreamily at the photo wall, where now the photo of him and Jin was hanging as well. It was one of the day were he had nothing to do at all.

In the morning, he had already finished his sport routine, ripping Jin out of his sleep as well when he had punched against his bag. After breakfast, he had practiced the guitar and read in his book again, before he helped Jin to get ready for his grocery shopping tour with Hope. Hope always offered that they could join her when she would go buying groceries, because she wanted to offer them as much freedom as possible.

They had put Jin’s long, fluffy tail down the leg of his trousers, while a black beanie had covered his ears from the other people’s glances. Lucky for them, autumn had arrived in New York, so it wouldn’t be strange to wear a hat when going outside. The both of them had left a few minutes ago, and since there was nothing else for Jungkook to do, he had sat down and looked over the photos.

Sometimes, it all felt unreal to him. Just about 2.5 months ago, he had been strolling around the streets, not knowing what the next they would hold for him. He had thought that his whole life would have to include fear and submission, because that was the only thing he had learnt in life. Never had he thought, that he would do simple things like watching TV, sleeping in his own bed or just sitting at the same table as a human.

Not once Hope had askes anything from him, since she had taken him and his brother in. She gave them anything, showing them that they were worth it all. In the past, he had several thoughts about not worthing all the things she offered. It was stuck in his brain for too long.

He often asked himself why people were so cruel these days. Hope had told him what had happened a long time ago, and how the people told themselves that their minds had changed. Since he had been living with the girl, he somehow didn’t felt that different anymore. He was just living his life with his brother, doing the things he liked without being punished for it. He wanted everyone to have that possibility.

His thoughts were interrupted when the door behind him opened with a small squeaking sound. He didn’t need to turn around, because by now, he knew Jimin’s scent. The smaller tiger and his grumpy brother had been staying with them for over 1.5 weeks now. Jungkook wasn’t that happy in the beginning when they crashed into his life without warning.

Especially, when that grumpy tiger growled at Hope that one evening or when he showed off his fangs. Though he hadn’t sharp tooth like him, he would not have been afraid to kick them out of the flat, but he had tried to calm himself down when Jin used his stern tone on him. His brother was right, a few weeks ago, him and Jin had been in the same position as Jimin and Taehyung. They laid scared and injured on the girl’s sofa, begging for her to help them.

“What are you doing?” Jimin had stepped out of the room and was now standing behind Jungkook, looking curiously at the bunny Hybrid.

Jungkook had to admit that he somehow like that white tiger. Jimin was a calm person to hang out with. He wasn’t sure about him in the beginning, because he had thought he was like his grumpy brother, but once he had talked to him a few times, he had developed sympathy for him.

“I look at those photos.” Jungkook turned his head and looked at the smaller male.

Jimin’s white ears stood up in attention, while his tail was slightly wrapped around his left thigh. He was looking at the photos on the wall, before he took a step closer and carefully sunk himself down next to the bunny. Jimin had definitely changed since the first time he came here, Jungkook could tell. He had become braver, talking and joining them sometimes while eating or watching TV.

Jungkook didn’t mind thought. He had wanted a friend (who wasn’t his brother) for a long time, because when Jin was cooking in the kitchen and Hope was working on her computer, he often got bored.

“Are you only looking at them all day long?” Jimin had crossed his legs as well, as he carefully studied the pictured on the wall.

“I –“ Jungkook stopped. It was hard to explain his affection for pictures. “It just – when I first came here, I was so scared that maybe Hope would be as cruel as my – as my last owners. But then she showed me around and when I saw those pictures and she told me the stories behind them, it just felt right. They made me feel – safe and like I was home, you know? It’s hard to explain, but I just love that wall.”

Jungkook pulled up his knees towards his chest, before putting his head onto them. Jimin next to him just hummed in response, but he wasn’t saying anything for another few minutes. Jungkook knew it may sounded selfish when he talked about his now happy life, while he knew that Jimin and Taehyung technically didn’t have one. After all, they weren’t living here.

“It must be great to have Hope as your owner.” Jimin suddenly said, his voice held a lot of sadness. “Since I can think, Taehyung had been my only family. It had always been just him and me.”

“Jin and me were alone for a long time, too.” Jungkook turned his head to look at the older male sitting next to him. “I always thought that I would spend my whole life with those cruel people. I thought that I was destined to live like that, but then I met Hope and everything just turned upside down. She is just – she gave me everything I could have ever asked for.”

Jungkook didn’t realized that he was already rumbling about the girl again, but Jimin did.

“You are talking about her a lot.” Jimin just stated, as they looked into each other’s eyes. “You like her, don’t you?”

Of course Jungkook liked her. Hope was the only human he knew who would actually treat him as if he was a real person and not just some animal. She gave him a real home. A home that he loved to wake up in every morning, and a home he felt safe to go to sleep in the evening.

In addition, Hope was a really beautiful girl in his eyes. He always like the way her skin would glow in the sun when they sat at the breakfast table. The way she always closed her tired eyes, as she sipped at her coffee mug, or how that two dimples would form on her cheeks every time she laughed along with him. Somehow it would always make his own cheeks reddened when caught himself thinking about her.

Not to mention her scent, that was all over the apartment and the furniture. It was nothing he could describe or compare with something, but still, it was the most beautiful scent he had ever smelled in his life. He never wanted to miss that anymore.

He wanted to feel that closeness they had while they would be cuddling onto the couch, watching the Simpsons over and over again. As well as her small kisses on the head when she would say good-night to him, or when she would massage the back of his head. He wouldn’t even have a problem with her touching his ears by now.

“Yes, I like her.” He whispered back, confessing it for the very first time to another person.

Jimin pulled his eyebrows together in surprise and confusion. Of course, he had noticed that the girl was very natural and nice, which made her likable, but he also hadn’t known her for as long as Jungkook.

“Did you tell her that?” Jimin innocently asked the bunny Hybrids after a few seconds of silence.

“No, it’s not appropriate, Jimin.” He said quietly, fixing his eyes on the photo were the girl smiled at her graduation ceremony. “I am just a Hybrid after all. She would never get involved in something like that. She deserves better than me.”

Jimin just nodded in response, before he fixed his eyes on the photo wall once again, getting lost in his own mind. Jimin was clearly a person you could tell your matters and secrets without feeling judged un some kind. Jungkook felt really comfortable in the older one’s presence.

“Why is your brother even so grumpy all the time?” He suddenly changed the subject, wanting to cheer up the mood a little bit. “He is always pulling a face when I see him.”

Jungkook tried to imitate the older black tiger, making some funny grimaces that mad Jimin chuckle slightly. The white tiger shook his head, before he looked behind him to make sure Taehyung would not be standing behind them.

“Usually, he isn’t like that. Really.” He sighed, turning his attention back towards Jungkook. “He has been through a lot in the past. I swear, he would never hurt a fly, that would not be him. He can be really caring and protective, that’s why he reacted the way he did the other night. I am sorry for him, but he is only scared.”

Jungkook nodded, understanding Taehyungs reaction in some way. He probably would be the same way, if he would be in his position.

“I understand.” He mumbled, before a smile spread over his face. “But that doesn’t change the fact that he is a big, grumpy cat.”

“Oh my god, Taehyung.” The girl gasped, as she removed the bandage that had been wrapped around the older boy’s injured arm. “That looks much worse than yesterday. Did you scratch it or something?”

The black tiger’s arm had become much better over the past few days. The infection had been gone down, but now it looked horrible. The skin was red and swollen again, with some blood coming through the injured skin.

“I – ehm – no?” He stuttered around, not looking her into the eyes. She cocked her eyebrow up and gave him a stern look. “Okay, it was itching badly last night, so I scratched it a little bit. Are you happy?”

Hope just rolled her eyes when he tried to talk in his loud way. He could be so stubborn. I he would just had asked her, she could have gave him some salve which had avoid that scenario. But he, he was too proud.

“Taehyung, this is no joke.” She grabbed the wet glove and tried to remove the small amount of blood, which made Taehyung hiss. “Your wound got infected again. You have to be more careful. If it itches again, just come to me and I add some salve to alleviate it, okay?”

She sighed when he just rolled his eyes in response. She had tried to show him that he could talk to her in a normal way, without intimidating her with his fangs or snapping at each other, but somehow he seemed to isolate himself on purpose, and she couldn’t understand why, because Jimin was the complete opposite.

The white tiger had clearly opened up over the past few days, talking and joking around in his bubbly way that was nice to watch. He even got a tiny little bit closer with Jungkook. She sometimes saw the two younger boys talking or watching TV together.

“Where did you even got that injury?” She suddenly asked without thinking. As soon as the words had left her, she noticed her mistake. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to ask you that. It was inappropriate. You don’t have to tell me of course. I was just curious.”

Taehyung had bit his cheek inside his mouth, as she just turned her attention back towards his arm and continued to clean up the injury. For a short moment, she thought that he would again try to intimidate her with his fangs, but instead, he shook his head, before he turned his head away.

“After Jimin and I managed to get away from that audition – “ He hesitantly began to talk in a slow, deep voice. “ – they sent some chasers after us, that should catch us and bring us back. We ran for hours, when Jimin had suddenly spotted that old, rotten building. We tried to find an entrance, but we there was none, so we tried to climb through one of the windows. I wanted to jump from the window sill, when my arm got stuck at a nail, that I haven’t seen in the wall. That’s the beginning how I ended up here.”

Hope didn’t miss the bitterness in his voice when he talked about his escape. It took her much to not break out in tear in front of him, even though her heart broke at his story. She knew that inside in, Taehyung was just a normal boy with good intention, who deserves to live in a peaceful surrounding. He definitely didn’t deserve to live a live on the streets.

“I definitely need to be more careful the next time, what?” He suddenly joked, chuckling slightly.

It took the girl a few seconds to realize what he was talking about. Her heart skipped a beat when reality hit her. Jimin and Taehyung weren’t living here after all. She had told them in the beginning that they could stay until Taehyung was healthy again, and that day would come along soon.

Both tigers would leave the apartment again, going out on the streets an living their lives there. It broke her heart when she thought back how scared both of them had been when she had found them a few days ago in that abandoned parking house. In addition, winter would start soon and the temperatures were already falling. It would be crazy to spend the nights out there alone.

“Do you – “ She stopped, battling in her head if she you ask him that question or not. “Do you know where you want to – to go?”

Her voice was nothing more than a whisper. She actually didn’t want hear his response, knowing that it would stuck in her head and wouldn’t let her sleep anymore.

“No.” He whispered back, still refusing to look into her eyes. “We – we will just try to hide somewhere, I guess.”

“Goodnight, Jimin.” She slightly waved at the white tiger, before he closed the door, leaving the small girl alone in the hallway.

The conversation from earlier was still bugging at her brain. She wanted to take in any Hybrid that was suffering in this world, but she knew it was impossible.

Over the past days, she had often thought about Jin and Jungkook and how she had just taken them in. Should she ask Jimin and Taehyung too? After all, the apartment offered them more than enough space to stay and it seemed like Jungkook and Jin got along with at least Jimin. But maybe Jungkook just acted nice because he knew that they would leave at some point.

It was not a decision she could take on her own. Jin and Jungkook were living here as well. She would have to accept their decision like they had always respected her decisions.

A shiver ran down her spine when she thought about how she would have to tell Jimin and Taehyung that they would have to leave again. Where would they go? Taehyung had told her that they would try to hide on the streets again, with no one to protect them, with no warm place to stay.

Carefully, she turned around and walked towards her boys’ door. She softly knocked against the piece of wood and stepped in when Jin told her so.

“Hope!” Jungkook jumped off the bed and walked with big steps over towards the smaller girl.

Gladly, she accepted the bunny’s hug. He wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her closer until her face was pressed against his chest. She pressed her cheek against the soft fabric of his shirt and closed her eyes. Even though her nose wasn’t as good as theirs, she smelled his manly scent through the shirt.

When Jungkook let go of her, he took her hand and pulled her over towards the bed, before he sat down and pulled her next to him. Jin was sitting at the desk, writing something into his notebook when he spotted the girl. He closed the book and walked over as well, giving her a quick side hug when he sat down.

Hope was glad that Jin had warmed up to her over the past weeks. In the beginning, he had often kept his distance towards the girl when she was near. But by now, he wouldn’t pull his hand back when their hands would touch while they set the table, he wouldn’t move over to the end of the sofa while watching TV, and he even gave her small hug when they would say goodnight to each other.

“Why did you come, Hope?” Jungkook asked, as his big, brown orbs looked into her eyes.

He was still holding her smaller hand in his bigger ones, which made her heart beat a little bit faster. She had noticed that the small things he or Jin would do would make her cheeks redden or her heart beat a little bit faster. She told herself that it was because she never had such intensive contact with a boy and that she eventually would get used to that. What was going on with her body?

“I – ehm – “ She began to stutter, trying to remember the reason she came. “I wanted to talk to you about something. What – how are you doing so far? Did you feel different since I adopted the both of you?”

She decided to not jump into it right away. She was afraid that she would offend Jungkook with her huge request. Jin was another thing. She knew that he had a pretty calm and rational personality. He never let his emotion take over him like Jungkook, who spoke before he had thought about it.

“Amazing.” Jungkook swarmed, squeezing her hand slightly. “I feel so happy now that we can live here. But I wish we could do more to help you with everything. Sometimes, I feel bad because you have to most of the things alone. I wish that I could just do more.”

The bunny sunk his ears next to his head. His eyes were filled with sadness.

“Oh, Kookie.” She lifted her hand and carefully drove it over his thick hair. “You do more than enough for me. Look, you always help me doing the laundry and set the table for me, this is a big help, you know? One day, you can do anything you like, I promise, okay?”

Jungkook’s head shot up, before he nodded quickly. He rubbed his head a few more times against her hands, before he looked over towards Jin, who was slightly smiling as well.

“I – “ He stopped for a shirt moment. “I feel truly happy. Sometimes, I still think back at – the those people – but then – I am not scared anymore, because I know that I have Jungkook and you and then it’s okay.”

“That’s nice to hear, Jin.” Hope took his hand in her right on and squeezed it slightly. “But what do you think about Jimin and Taehyung? I know you didn’t like them being here in the beginning.”

Immediately, she felt the hand to her left side tense up at her question. Jungkook didn’t seemed to be so fond of that question.

“I like Jimin.” Jin said without hesitation. “He is fun to hang out with. He helped me cooking a few times. But that other boy, Taehyung, I have barely seen him, and if he was grumpy. I think he is still scared.”

“I hate him.” Jungkook hissed, pulling his hand away, before he crossed his arms over his chest. “He is angry all the time and I don’t trust him. He growled at you, Hope. Jimin is okay, I guess. It was fun to play the PlayStation with him, but that doesn’t mean I trust him completely.”

The girl sighed at the bunny’s words. That was what she had been afraid of to hear.

“What about you, Hope?” Jin had obviously noticed her mood. “What do you think about them?”

“I – listen, I know that you are no sure about them, and especially not about Taehyung.” Her voice was slightly shaking, as she began to speak again. “But I know that they do have any bad intentions. I just think that Taehyung is scared and worried about Jimin. I want to be honest with you. Taehyung’s arm is healed soon – “

“Good.” Jungkook interrupted her, a slight smile on his face. “That means they will leave again, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, it does.” The girl pulled her hands away and began to fiddle with the hem of her shirt. “But – but I don’t want them to leave again.”

At the end, her voice was nothing more than a whisper, still afraid to say the wrong words.

“What?” The bunny’s eyes went wide when he hear her statement. “What do you mean, Hope? Do you want them to live her with us? This is – ”

“Jungkook.” Jin spoke in a warning voice now. “Let her finish.”

Jungkook looked at his brother for another few seconds, before he nodded and took the girl’s hand again.

“It just doesn’t feel right for to kick them out, when I swore to myself that I would protect any Hybrid with everything I have.” Hope was near to cry now. “We have enough room here, and I really like the both of them, even Taehyung. He is not like that all the time, he talked to me yesterday. He told me about how they fled form those cruel people and how scared he is. I won’t let them stay if you don’t want to. I respect your decisions. I felt like telling you about my concerns.”

She hadn’t noticed the tears that were now sliding down her cheeks. Why did she had to be so emotional about anything? Jungkook had noticed it too, and lifted his arm to carefully whip the we stains away with the sleeves of his shirt.

“To be honest – “ A small smile was playing on Jin’s mouth. “ – I already knew that you won’t want them to leave. Jungkook and I know what they are going through, and we were more than lucky that you found us. I am willing to show them that there is another life for them, so it’s fine with me if they stay with us.”

“Thank you, Jin.” The girl whispered, the tears were still spilling out of her eyes.

She bent over and wrapped her carefully around Jin’s broad shoulders. He had gain more weight lately, so he wasn’t just the thin, tall boy anymore.

Jungkook was still sitting there, eyes flickering between his brother and the girl. Hope could tell that he was having a huge battle inside his head, whether he should agree or stay with his opinion. He sighed, before sinking his head, ears dropping down next to his face.

“Kookie, what about we give them a chance.” The girl let go of Jin and was now sliding over to the bunny. “You don’t have to be best friends with Jimin and Taehyung, but we can try to get along.”

Jungkook’s big brown eyes were looking up at hers. His brown orbs held a lot of sadness, as he carefully nodded his head. Hope smiled widely, before giving his a tight hug from the side.

“But if he growls at you one more time at you, I won’t hesitate to kick his butt.”

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[bvidzsoo]

Downtown

 Author: bvidzsoo

 Warnings: sexual situations, swearing and angst 

 Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x female reader x Hong Joshua

 Word count: 29, 624

 Summary:   You never thought you’d fall for the person you’ve known for almost ten years, but you did know he wasn’t the right person either for you. It was hard getting over him, especially when you were friends with benefits. But then, a mysterious gentleman came along, and changed your world. Suddenly, you knew what you deserved.

 A/N: Holy shit, this feels like it took a year to write, when it was a week and a half? It’s very long, the longest oneshot I’ve written in my whole life so far and I’m proud of it. It’s past 3 am here when I’m posting this, so good night everyone. Don’t forget to leave your feedback, to feed my curious heart. Enjoy now!

     Things weren’t always so complicated. As a child, you only have to worry about your grades and to not disappoint your parents. You go out with your friends, have fun, let loose and have no worries about the cruel world surrounding you. But then you grow up and all sorts of responsibilities are dumped on you; you suddenly don’t know this foreign world. It all feels scary and malicious, ready to take you out, but then you learn. You learn how to be an adult and things aren’t that hard anymore. Except if it comes to your feelings. People always say, ‘we are adults, we have to approach the issue straight on and address it; you have to talk about your feelings without holding anything back’. But that’s always easier said than done. Because I am an adult and yet I still don’t know how to tell the man lying down next to me that I’m in love with him. The room feels hot, skins glistening in the moonlight that comes in through the open window, both of our chests rise quickly, neither one of us having completely come down from our highs. I love it while it’s happening but hate it after it’s over. The sex is amazing with Soonyoung, he knows every inch of my body, he knows what turns me on and what I hate. He never chases his own release; he works for both of us. He’s rough but never to the extent to hurt me or make me uncomfortable. But then it’s over and there come the feelings I try repressing during the day. The want to turn into him and snuggle into his side, legs intertwined, eyes closed as we fall asleep is hard to ignore. Sometimes it happens, but then one of us leaves before the other could wake up. The bed feels empty without him and some mornings it makes me crazy. My sheets carry his scent, the scent I feel around me everywhere; it’s so deeply etched into my own being that it’s simply everywhere. Actions can be scary, but feelings are scarier. I closed my eyes to take another breath before turning my head. Soonyoung’s tongue poked out to lick his dry lips before he turned his head to face me, our dark brown eyes locking onto each other. My heart speed up, could he see it in my eyes? The desperate love I wanted him to see and feel? Or was he the oblivious boy he used to be back in high school? He changed in many aspects, but one thing remained the same: he was the same funny guy I used to hang out with, the same guy who always carried a smile on his lips and hid his real feelings.

Being on time was an issue I tried to fix my whole life. At first, it wasn’t my fault, my dad would never be on time, therefore, I was always late thanks to him. But slowly, after I was independent enough to be on my own, I started noticing that I took on his habit, being late almost everywhere. I overslept my first class today, which would be an issue later on as I have another class with the same teacher, and now I was hurrying down the hallway to try and not be late to my second class as well. And it was going well, until it wasn’t. A hard show sent my arms out and my notebook, book, and pencil case flying to the ground. It took me by surprise as there were few people in the hallway that someone would run into me, there was plenty of space. My eyes fell on the culprit as he carried on his way as if nothing had happened. 

My morning grumpiness got the best of me and I opened my mouth to call out before he could round the corner, “Next time apologize, asshole!”

I bent down to pick up my three things laying on the ground, groaning when the bell rang, now I have to make it inside class before the teacher does. As I stood up once again, a black curly-haired boy stood in front of me. His cheeks were puffy and his eyes sharp and small. He resembled a hamster; it was the boy who ran into me. His uniform wasn’t neat and his left shoe tie was unmade. I glanced over his figure again before making eye contact. His dark eyes had a certain allure to them and I definitely didn’t expect the sudden wide smile he offered me.

“Sorry! I’m kind of in a rush,” He spoke hurriedly, his voice a bit raspy.

“Well, me too, but do you see me running into others when there’s enough space for the both of us in a, now, empty hallway?” I raised my eyebrows expectantly, eyes falling on his name tag. Kwon Soonyoung. I haven’t heard of him before, however, his face is one I would have remembered for sure if I saw it around. Is he new? Or just invisible like me?

“Uh, sorry…” The boy scratched his neck embarrassed as he looked around us, “I overslept, so I’m in a hurry to get to my second class in time--”

“We are already late, so don’t bother” I sighed as I walked around the boy to start my walk, now casual, towards my class. I was for sure late now, the teacher probably inside, there was no need for me to rush anymore.

“You overslept too?” The boy was by my side and I nodded my head wordlessly.

“I’m Kwon Soonyoung!” He extended his hand while we were walking and I looked at him before shaking his hand firmly. He was smiling widely and I offered him a close-lipped smile.

“I’m Lim Y/N” I introduced myself and Soonyoung nodded his head violently.

“I know!” He was excited as he kept grinning, his eyes disappearing completely, cheeks even puffier. I could pinch those cheeks right now.

“Yeah, we have name tags…” I muttered with a chuckle as we rounded the corner.

“No, I know who you are!” My eyes fell on the overly excited boy walking next to me and my eyebrows furrowed. How did he know who I am but I didn’t know who he was?

“Did we meet before?” I asked confused as Soonyoung stopped walking.

“No” He chuckled and looked at a closed-door he was standing in front of, “But we always arrive at the same time to school...well, besides today…”

“Oh” I muttered as I tried to remember his face but couldn’t connect it to his words, “If you say so”

“I’m not well known, but that’s fine” He chuckled as he shrugged his shoulders. I glanced at my wristwatch and figured I should really get to class now.

“I’ll see you around then, I guess,” I said as Soonyoung nodded before knocking on the door he was standing in front of.

“See you” He winked before sliding the door open and stepping inside while bowing. What a weird boy, I thought to myself as I walked down the hallway, finally arriving to my class. I did the same thing Soonyoung did and thanked the heavens the teacher asked no questions.

Our eyes stayed locked as I wondered what Soonyoung was thinking. He looked troubled; eyebrows furrowed as his eyes fell to my lips. My heart rate picked up again and I was ready to refuse a second round, tonight I wasn’t feeling it anymore. But Soonyoung said nothing as he scooted closer and draped an arm around my naked torso, his naked body coming in contact with mine. His skin brushing against mine made me feel like I was on fire, as if a few minutes ago he wasn’t inside me making me feel things only he could. The way our bodies molded together made me almost forget the things I wanted to tell him. I could never truly muster up the courage to tell him that I love him more than a friend, after all, we are just friends. Friends who help each other out in desperate times. I’ve known Soonyoung for almost ten years. 

We met in high school for the first time and quickly became friends, connecting over our similar interests and the fact that we were pretty much invisible to the others, friendless. Soonyoung was always happy and smiling, he quickly became someone I relied on upon and confided in. When he needed someone serious to talk to or just listen to his rants, he knew he had me and that I wouldn’t judge him, as many others did. But then high school was over and we made empty promises to keep in touch throughout college, but I wasn’t too wealthy so I couldn’t attend the same college he chose. And in our second year, Soonyoung transferred to a bigger city to have part of better education, leaving me behind. And slowly like that, our friendship faded into distant happy memories. We both went on with our lives, sending each other birthday wishes when those days came around the year, but never truly did anything to reach out for a real conversation. I figured he was busy and if he really wanted to talk to me, he’d know where to find me. College came to an end after a few years and soon I found myself working in an office where my boss was loathsome, I didn’t last for long there, only a year. And that’s when I found my dream job presented to me. A wedding planner agency, they had a free spot for the interior designing of the places the soon-to-be-wed couple chose. So, I applied and I got the job. Everything went well there, the colleagues were nice and soon I found myself in a friendly relationship with everyone from the office. Our boss was a very nice older lady, hair always in a bun and lips always painted a nice shade of pink. She was always smiling and she always knew how to create a welcoming and pleasant environment for her working place. Maybe that’s what attracted her to Soonyoung so much. He emitted a certain warmness that drew people in, a small always on his face. He was rarely angry, he stayed calm in stressful situations, and he always had a joke for when times became unbearable. So, he got employed. To the same company I have been working for, for five years. And he changed, a lot. His innocent smiles from high school turned into flirty ones. His somewhat raspy voice turned into a full rasp and sultry comments. He got taller too, his body lean and worked. His dark hair didn’t grow much, but the curliness was gone and nowadays a few strands were always falling in his eyes. The puffiness from his cheeks subsided and he became manly looking, his sharp eyes keeping you fixated on a spot if he wanted to. His behavior didn’t change much, except he became more confident and less invisible. Unlike me, throughout the years I turned more into myself and realized I didn’t need people to be close to me, I felt more comfortable being on my own. Maybe it was the fear of getting to know someone more only to be left behind, like it happened with Soonyoung, but I was content. It’s not like I was actively looking for a friendship, even though sometimes I would complain about it to my sister, emphasis on sometimes. But of course, when Soonyoung and I reconciled, things were bound to happen. We weren’t oblivious teenagers anymore, we were adults with certain needs. And somewhere along those lines, we found ourselves in a friend with benefits kind of relationship. I didn’t even know I found Soonyoung attractive until he kissed me behind the club while we went out so that he could take a cigarette break, he’s an amazing dancer, by the way. But now I wish he didn’t kiss me that night, a year ago, because maybe then I wouldn’t feel so choked up by the feelings he makes me feel now. 

“Did you look for decoration for the reception?” Soonyoung’s sleepy voice broke me out of my thoughts. By how slowly he was breathing, I assumed he already fell asleep.

“Sort of,” I mumbled quietly, not fighting the urge to play with his hair anymore, “I can’t decide on the colors”

“What does the bride want?” Soonyoung’s question got muffled when he pressed a kiss between my breasts. 

I sighed and gulped as my heart continued beating violently, “She didn’t specify, but I’m leaning more towards beige” 

“Beige is always a good color choice” Soonyoung muttered as his long fingers ran down the side of my body.

“Yeah” I muttered as I looked up at the ceiling, trying to calm my erratic heart beating. I knew he could hear it, or feel it, and it made me anxious. Would he think it was from the sex or did he know how much these little interactions, touches, actually made me feel? But tonight, I didn’t want to find out, tonight I just wanted to take a hot shower, drown a whole bottle of wine and go to bed, in my own bed.

“I have to head home” I spoke up as I cleared my throat, glancing down at Soonyoung. He groaned as he muzzled his face more into my chest, his hair tickling my breast.

“Did your mom give you a new curfew?” He joked as he lifted his head and gazed at me. I chuckled and rolled my eyes, trying to hide the blush that came onto my cheeks at the view in front of me. I could never get used to the image of Soonyoung after sex. He looked so hot while disheveled. 

“No, but my boss won’t be impressed if I’m late to work--”

“Again” We chorused at the same time, both of us giggling, Soonyoung’s eyes disappearing as he pushed himself up onto his elbows. I quieted down and licked my lips, awaiting his next move. He really didn’t seem like he was about to move, so I nudged him with my leg. 

“Get off, leech, I can’t get up” Soonyoung’s laughter echoed in the quiet room and I shook my head at him, “I’m serious”

“Can’t you just sleep over?” He whined like a little kid and I shook my head, raising to my elbows, closing the distance between our faces. Soonyoung’s breath mixed with mine and I really wanted to lean in and capture his lips with mine, so when he did it first, I hummed contently. I let my eyes fall closed as our lips moved lazily against each other, knowing this was Soonyoung’s way of trying to trick me into staying with him, I didn’t let myself get lost in the feeling of him, even if I wanted to.

“I’m going” I muttered as I tilted my head back, away from Soonyoung’s lips. He just groaned and started kissing my neck instead.

“Stay” He muttered, lazily landing a wet kiss on my jaw, “Please?”

“No.” I said firmly as I lowered my head to look into his eyes. I leaned forwards and pecked his lips quickly before gently pushing him over, letting him fall on his back on the bed.

“Let me drive you home?” He asked as I quickly rose from the bed and found my underwear, putting it on.

“I’ll call for a cab” I answered him as I bent down to pick up my black jeans, feeling his eyes on me.

“With me, you are safer” He argued and I sighed as I threw on my grey sweater, zipping my jeans up.

“I’ll text you when I get home” I found my socks and smiled in victory as one was thrown underneath the bed.

“You better not forget it this time” Soonyoung’s glare was playful as he sat up on his bed, still fully naked. I gave him a pointed look before seeing his briefs at the foot of the bed and throwing it at him.

“You know I probably will and get dressed, you’ll get sick” I scolded him as I went around his bed to close the window and pull the curtains closed.

“You know the old ladies love a good show” He wiggled his ass as he pulled his briefs on and I giggled as I opened the locked door of his bedroom. I was surprised to find the lights on in the kitchen, a very sleepy Jihoon rubbing his eyes as he eyed a carton of milk in the fridge.

“You’re leaving?” He asked surprised, jumping when I accidentally bumped my bag into the table by the bathroom door.

“Yeah, I still have some work to do for tomorrow” I found my boots quickly and pulled them on, shooting Jihoon an apologetic smile, “I hope we didn’t wake you up…”

“Thank God you didn’t, Soonyoung is so loud” He grumbled with a glare and I heard a scoff coming from the living room.

“I know” I whispered with a chuckle and Jihoon shook his head before finally drinking out of the carton of milk.

“Hey! We share that together, can you stop leaving your saliva over everything?!” Soonyoung’s shriek made both Jihoon and I groan as the culprit came marching into the kitchen.

“I bought this with my own money!” Jihoon turned his back to Soonyoung when he tried taking the carton of milk from him. 

“It’s late, can’t you two be less noisy? I’m sure the family living underneath doesn’t appreciate you screaming at night…” I threw them a glance as I unlocked my phone and ordered a cab through the app, pulling my leather jacket on. 

“If you want to scold us, just leave already, mother” I flicked Soonyoung off as I unlocked the front door and opened it, poking my head back in.

“By the way, I love the new color, Jihoon” I whispered with a smile, the newly dyed blonde giving me an appreciative thumbs up. Soonyoung’s amused smile slowly slipped from his lips before he marched over, I didn’t miss the subtle glare thrown Jihoon’s way, and he went to playfully show the door in my face.

“Good night” He mumbled quietly, a softness rarely heard enveloping his voice.

“Night, Soo” I winked before turning around and heading for the stairs, ignoring the longing to turn around and crawl back into bed with him.

   Soonyoung was right, the color beige is always a good choice. I stared at the reception in front of me decorated in beige colors, a proud smile slipping on my lips. The fairy lights around the tables gave the room a dreamy feel and the flowers on each table brought a touch of freshness. The bride and groom were yet to arrive so my nerves were still over the roof. It was always hard and nerve-wracking when it came to decorating a place to other’s likes, even if all were discussed in detail. 

“Breathtaking, as always” The male voice whispered in my ear and I cringed away from Soonyoung. He was wearing his usual dark blue suit, rings decorating his fingers, and loose strands of black hair falling in his eyes.

“I told you to don’t do that here” I threw a glare at him as I took off between the aisles of tables and chairs. I heard Soonyoung chuckle behind me and I tried to ignore the sudden jump of my heart. I missed him even though I just saw him yesterday. 

“It’s just us here, Y/N, relax” Soonyoung took a different route as he bent down and started examining the silverware. 

“Half of the decoration team is here, Soonyoung, please” I rolled my eyes as I found a stray napkin on one table and picked it up.

“That’s Hana’s fault” Soonyoung’s voice turned stern as he came up beside me.

“Go easy on her, she’s been here for a month only” I pressed the napkin into his chest as clapping came from behind us. I turned around with a smile and headed towards our boss, her lips in a wide smile.

“This is spectacular, Y/N, you’ve been working for me for so long yet you surprise me each time!” She exclaimed as she looked around the room, patting Soonyoung’s arm when he came up beside me, napkin stuffed in his pocket now.

“Thank you, Mrs. Choi” I bowed my head and she walked past us, stopping by a table.

“Did you bring the cameras, Soonyoung?” She asked as she leaned down a bit to arrange the flowers in the vase.

“Everything is set, Mrs. Choi, we are waiting for the bride and groom” He answered her back smoothly, sending me a wink. I rolled my eyes as the clicking of heels caught my attention. Kim Yerim, dressed in all pink, came waltzing inside with her blonde hair in two pigtails. My eyes widened before I sighed, looking back at Mrs. Choi and Soonyoung.

“Morning!” She greeted in the loudest voice ever and came to a stop next to me, “Damn! This place is fucking awesome!”

I threw Yerim a look before I sighed again, pointing at her outfit, “Are you headed to Disneyland or something?” 

“I look like a princess, don’t I?” She giggled excited, twirling around in a slow pirouette. I pushed her shoulder playfully.

“More like a Barbie doll” Soonyoung walked up to us with a smirk on his lips, eyes traveling over Yerim’s body. I gulped as I looked at the wall ahead, trying to ignore the sudden fire that was ignited inside my body. Of course, Soonyoung flirts with every female from work, even Mrs. Choi sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I’m not bothered by it every time he does it. In fact, I hate it. How he just so casually compliments other women with his flirty tone, looking them up and down; and I know they feel weak in the knees; how he just so casually winks at everyone or the playful touches, especially with Yerim. I like Yerim, a lot, she’s eccentric, much like Soonyoung, and she’s fun to hang out with. She swears a lot, but that’s something everyone already got used to, yet I can never brush aside the want to grab her by her silky blonde hair and smash her head against a wall. Sometimes she wears something overly sexy just because she likes the attention from Soonyoung, and I know because she confessed to it some time ago while we were on a coffee break in the recreation room. I wanted to throw my coffee at her when I heard her words. Very mature, I know.

“Guess you could be my Ken for tonight?” Yerim raised her eyebrows, a smirk crossing her lips and my jaw clenched when Soonyoung chuckled airily, leaning a bit closer to her.

“Just for tonight?” I wanted to kick him, drag him away by his hair, gag his mouth with toilet paper, and scream at him that I love him, that I want him, that he’s mine. But instead, I took a deep breath and exhaled quietly, trying to put on an amused smile and smooth out the venomous tone wanting to come through.

“You can sort out your business after we are done here,” I gripped Yerim’s arm a bit too harshly and turned her around, “Because the bride just arrived and you need to dress her up for the photoshoot”

“Fuck, she’s here?” Yerim exclaimed, “I gotta run to the car to bring in the clothes, catch you later!”

I shook my head as Soonyoung giggled while we watched Yerim run away in her pink stiletto heels. Mrs. Choi was still at the front, sorting out the name tags for the tables.

“Go do your job, Mr. Kwon” I turned to Soonyoung with raised eyebrows and he did a mocking salute before glancing back to see what Mrs. Choi was doing.

“Yes, ma’am, yes” Then he took a step closer and my eyes widened when he squeezed my ass, “I want to bend you over and fuck you against one of those tables, this dress fits your body in all the right places”

I bit my lower lip, staring into Soonyoung’s hooded eyes as his gaze dropped to my lips. Yes, I think I would like that proposition a lot, but then the words he said to Yerim rang through my head and the heat I felt was suddenly gone. Right, we are at work.

“Just...do your job, Soonyoung” I muttered breathless, pushing him away gently. He groaned as he took a glance at my lips again then walked out, leaving me with Mrs. Choi. I took a deep breath and tried to clear my foggy mind, organize my messy thoughts. Sometimes I wish I never agreed to this whole madness with Soonyoung. 

“Dear, I think you messed up a few names, come check it out!” Mrs. Choi called from the front of the room and I started walking towards her with a sigh.

“Coming now!”

       Pictures and pictures lay endlessly on my big counter in the kitchen, laptop pushed to the side and wine glass in my hands. Yesterday’s reception went amazingly, the bride and groom were in love with how I decorated the place and earlier today I was assigned another couple. They’ve been together for half a year only and they were pretentious. They had a sophisticated taste and every little detail mattered. They even instructed me to place five white pearls on each table, not more not less. It was challenging and my headache was turning stronger as I kept staring at various pictures of what I could do for the reception. I’ve been working in this field for a long time now, but some clients were indeed special. Special enough to give me a headache, that is. I groaned as I pushed the picture of the reception, that I did last year, beach themed, and placed my wine glass down, far away from my laptop and pictures. It wasn’t even that tiring, yet I felt like I haven’t slept in days. My brain was restless. It wanted me to tell Soonyoung everything, to confess finally. My chest felt heavy every time I had to look at him flirting with other women, draining a great deal of my energy. I want to confess, badly, but I’m scared. He’s so good at concealing his feelings, that I genuinely can’t even predict his reaction. Would he be surprised? Would he be angry? Would he laugh at me? Would he tell me he already knew? Would he tell me…he feels the same? Countless and countless scenarios ran through my mind as I quickly slapped my cheeks and looked back down at the pictures. Focus, Y/N, your job is more important than your feelings right now. The bride wanted purple colored decoration but the groom something orange. Now, these two colors would look hideous together but somehow, we have to make them work. How? That’s what I’m currently trying to work out. Maybe use purple decoration and put orange flowers here and there? Maybe use orange pearls? No, she pointed out she wanted white ones. What if I use white and orange ones? That wouldn’t look too bad. What if I decorate the bride and groom’s table orange and the rest purple? That shouldn’t look so bad. I should talk to Soonyoung first, see what his ideas are. After all, we are partners when it comes to our work, we do it together. We were supposed to be doing this together right now, actually, but something urgent came up and Soonyoung had to cancel. Something so urgent that he couldn’t even tell me about it, that hasn’t happened before. We are friends, first of all, we tell each other most things. As I reached for my glass of wine, my phone pinged, alerting me that I had a message. From Soonyoung, I knew because he has a different ringtone. I reached for my phone and opened it up as I took a small sip of my wine. I almost finished what I had poured out in my glass.

From Soonyoung: Be there in ten!

My eye widened as I nearly dropped my glass. Be here in ten? What does he mean? He can’t just come over like that! I’m not in the mood to get laid tonight, I actually have a lot of work to do! And he has too, what is he thinking?!

To Soonyoung: No, you can’t come over!

The response was almost immediate.

From Soonyoung: Too late, I’m two blocks away.

To Soonyoung: Don’t drive and text you idiot!

My heart started beating erratically as my eyes scanned my apartment. Shit! It’s a mess! I quickly hopped of from the stool and ran into my bedroom to put on a lacey bra. Maybe I can convince him to leave me alone tonight and actually get some work done together. I quickly pulled my hair in a low messy bun and ran back out to my living room. I quickly arranged the pillows on my sofa and turned off the TV, which was on for some background noise. I groaned as my eyes fell on the leftover pizza, that I left on the coffee table, the box too big for me to quickly throw away so I took it in my hands and walked to my counter and dropped it off behind it. No, you shouldn’t put food on the floor, am I desperate enough to do it? Yes. My kitchen was open so there was no wall separating my living room from it, just the counter. Before I could do anything else, I heard the turn of a key and the lock unlocking as Soonyoung came into view. I quickly put on a small smile, trying not to fidget much as my heart continued to beat quickly. I could never get enough of seeing him. It’s always as if it’s the first time. He takes my breath away. I gulped as I watched him take his shoes off at the entrance and he closed the front door, not locking it. Is this a quick visit then? Does he have an idea and he just quickly wants to give me the sketch? He wouldn’t have taken off his shoes then, or come over, he would have just done it tomorrow at work.

“So, what are you doing here?” I cleared my throat before speaking and Soonyoung looked at me with a wide grin. He looked so happy and enthusiastic that I couldn’t help it and returned the smile, with less energy though.

“Let’s sit down first!” He giggled as he skipped towards my grey sofa from the living room and I raised my eyebrows as I followed him, tugging on the sleeves of my oversized sweater. Soonyoung’s hands were crossed as he leaned his elbows forward on his knees and I sat next to him, a bit rigidly, as I waited for him to speak. I wanted to scoot a tiny little bit closer, to feel his body heat. He was like a magnet, always pulling me closer and closer until there was no space left between us. It was always so hard to not touch him when we were together. I always found somehow an excuse to lay my hands on him. Even if it was just the small action of smoothing down his shirt or collar of his coat.

“So…” He trailed off as he turned serious and I gulped. Did he figure it out? Does he know I love him? What’s with the sudden seriousness? He definitely isn’t here for sex. He would be undressing me by now if that was the case.

“So…” I trailed off, trying to get him to talk but patience laced my voice, to let him know it was okay if he needed time to word his thoughts.

“I’m going to be just plain forward, simple and honest.” He turned his head so that our brown eyes could look into each other’s, and I gulped loudly. Tonight, I fall, tonight he tells me he knew all along and that he can’t return the feelings. And that’s heart wrenching but perhaps even alright. I understand.

“I have a girlfriend” Silence, that’s what followed his words. Deafening silence. The sentence, ‘I have a girlfriend’, echoed through my mind as if he said it again. I gulped and smoothed out my face, no reaction.

“You have a girlfriend?” My voice was composed, sincere and curious. I even smiled, giggling inside. Soonyoung has a girlfriend? I silenced my thoughts, almost screaming at them to shut up, as Soonyoung opened his mouth to speak again.

“Yes” His voice was so quiet, he looked shocked. I was the one feeling shocked actually. My smile widened and for some reason, the way Soonyoung was watching me, made me feel like I was crazy.

“That’s amazing! I never thought I’d hear you saying those words!” I chuckled as I went to reach out and squeeze his hand, but stopped myself and instead scratched my thigh as if it started itching. He has a girlfriend, I can’t touch him, not anymore.

“Yeah-yeah…” Soonyoung breathed, gulping almost speechless as he continued watching me like a hawk, “It finally happened, I guess. It’s out of the blue, I know, but…yeah.”

“Damn, it is out of the blue!” I exclaimed and crossed one leg over the other, trying to hide my trembling hands as I slid them between my thighs, “But…you know, we are back to being friends. Just friends, Soonyoung”

Soonyoung’s jaw clenched at my words and I almost frowned as I bit my lower lip nervously, scared it would start trembling as well. My whole body was on the verge of trembling, my heart was thumping so loudly I was afraid I wouldn’t hear Soonyoung’s response.

“Just friends?” He whispered but then caught himself and cleared his throat, “Yeah! We are great friends, aren’t we?”

“Bestest friends, Soonyoung” I laughed, tears almost pooling up in my eyes, almost, “Since high school, eh?”

“Yeah, who would’ve thought…” Soonyoung shrugged his shoulders before abruptly standing up, “I have to work on the interior design, I didn’t get to do any work yet”

My eyes fell on my packed counter and my eyes remained glued to it. I didn’t want to look at Soonyoung anymore, I felt sick. Nauseous. I wanted to grab my glass of wine and throw it at him, but I forced myself to turn my head back and stare him in the eyes.

“You better, I’m almost finished with my ideas. Just drop off your sketches in my office tomorrow morning” Soonyoung nodded as he sniffed and glanced around my apartment before his eyes fell on my body, running all over it. I hated it; I hate him. Because I knew what he was thinking by the way his eyes darkened.

“You’re wearing my favorite hoodie” His voice was quiet and lower as he licked his lips and I walked up to him and quickly hugged him, but there was no force in my arms, no passion whatsoever.

“It’s late, I’m tired since I worked all day. See you tomorrow, Soonyoung” I didn’t give him time to reciprocate the hug and pulled away as I walked to the front door and grabbed the handle. Soonyoung smiled, but it didn’t look genuine at all, as he walked next to me and took on his shoes. His body was so close to mine that I could feel his warmness, his intoxicating scent. His eyes narrowed when he rose back up, scrutinizing me as my smile widened.

“Good night, then” He stepped out as I opened the door for him.

“Good night!” I watched him walk towards the elevator and push the button to order it up. He turned his head a little and I waved cutely at him, watching him as he boarded the elevator once it arrived. The doors closed and Soonyoung was gone from my vision. Disgust flooded my body as I closed my door slowly, the clicking of one lock feeling like a scream in my quiet apartment. The second lock, however, set everything off. The second turn of the lock, made my heart explode into a million pieces. My heart was glass and that glass just exploded into so many tiny pieces, that it would never be mended back together. It needs to be thrown away and replaced. But you can’t throw away a heart just like that. My hands startled trembling violently as I finally let my body do whatever it wanted. I was alone, I could do whatever the fuck I wanted. My thoughts, the ones I screamed at to stay silent, suddenly came back screaming at me. ‘I have a girlfriend’, it made me chuckle. Because, really, it’s very hilarious! How did I never notice?! Then it turned into a giggle, because, honestly, we are best friends! How did it slip through my fingers? How did I not see it sooner? Wait, why did he never tell me? And suddenly, I was sobbing. Tears were flowing down my cheeks so quickly that there was no reason for me to wipe them away, new ones would replace them. I leaned against the wall as my body curled into a ball as much as it could while standing. My thoughts screamed continuously: ‘This is your fault! Why did you not tell him earlier? Why are you sobbing right now? It’s disgusting what you are doing, please stop! You are such a fucking idiot, Y/N! He has a girlfriend.’

My head started throbbing worse and I straightened up and glanced around, eyes falling on the bottle of wine. My throat felt dry, my eyes were burning and there was definitely snot coming out of my nose, a bit salty, as I wiped it away with the sleeve of my sweater. Disgusting, I’ll have to wash it tomorrow. I grinned as I walked up to the counter and took the bottle in my hands, examining it. Rosé, my favorite. What a perfect timing to get fucking wasted. I sat on the stool and raised the bottle, pouring as much of the alcohol that I could in my mouth without choking myself. Suddenly then I realized that the throbbing of my head wasn’t the worst feeling I was feeling right now. Oh no. It was the hollowness in my chest that made me choke up and start another downpour of tears. It was so foreign yet so familiar. Turns out, I’ve always felt like this when it came to Soonyoung, just not this intensely. I wanted to rip my hair out, to kick someone, to scream at Soonyoung. How could he play with my heart so much without knowing what he was doing? Why did I allow him to do that? Why did I go so deep that I allowed him to make me feel like this? Like what? Like utter garbage, like the leftover you get disgusted by when you look at it, like that present you get from your aunt and you hate but you have to pretend you like? And disgust. It was so powerful, I wanted to scrub it all away. I glared at the last place where Soonyoung stood not so long ago and took off towards the window, forcefully opening it to get rid of his scent. I have to wash myself and every single clothing and bed sheet he’s ever touched. I have to clean everything. I have to clean myself.

        The next morning, I looked worse than what I felt like. My eyes were burning, still, puffy and even red. My nose was red and my upper lip swollen. I looked horrible and I panicked more and more the longer I looked in the mirror. Not even makeup can salvage the way I look, at least not the kind of makeup that I know how to apply. I groaned as I grabbed my phone and dialed the person I wanted to talk to least as first thing in the morning.

“It’s so fucking early! You are lucky I was already awake or else—”

“Good morning” I cut Yerim off with a grunt and the girl just sighed.

“Are you okay?” She asked calmly, realizing how weird this was. I rarely called the girl for anything other than work and I didn’t even tell her yet what I needed.

“Somewhat” I muttered as I tried to tame my wild hair, “Question.”

“Shoot, damn, you’re making me anxious, Y/N!” I rolled my eyes as Yerim shuffled on the other end of the phone.

“Can you do my makeup today?” I asked while chewing on my lower lip, afraid of her reaction.

“Fuck yes! Finally!” Yerim exclaimed and I scrunched my nose up at her loudness, “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life!”

“Okay, cool, I’ll see you in an hour at work!” Before she could say anything else, I quickly hung up and groaned. God damn it, I look horrible! I quickly pulled my wild hair in a high ponytail and got to washing my face, trying to get the swell to go away with cold water. After drinking all the wine, I had in that bottle, I went and took a hot shower, burning my skin because I was drunk and stupid, and then proceeded to cry myself to sleep. I don’t think I have ever before cried so much. My chest felt empty and hollow still, my eyes filled with tears still when I thought of Soonyoung, but I felt lighter. The break down last night wasn’t something pretty but it was better than bottling it up for longer. I already bottled up too many things.

When Yerim saw me, she gasped and probably swore for at least ten minutes, I didn’t check the time. She didn’t ask questions so at least I didn’t have to come up with a stupid excuse, but she scolded me every five minutes and kept saying she’d have to come over to give my skin a treatment after I dared to destroy it last night. I was itching to ask her if she had a treatment for my broken heart as well, but I didn’t. I would sound bitter and I didn’t want to explain myself. Today, I wanted to be left alone. By everyone. I wanted to close my eyes every time Soonyoung passed by, I wanted to block out his voice, his flirty and annoying remarks. I just wanted to work on the design for the upcoming reception, but for that I needed to see Soonyoung. And I didn’t want to do that, so I postponed our meeting. We have a whole month until the reception, I don’t have to rush myself so much right now. I need at least a week to recover.

But that was a lie. A week turned into a week and five days. It was finally Friday and I’d be free for the next two days. I could do some touch up on the sketches Soonyoung left in my office last week and finally organize a meeting where we can talk about all the little important details. I still wasn’t ready to just face him, but I had to suck it up. We are adults, aren’t we? I might as well start acting like it, but only starting from next Monday. Today, I shall still wallow in my pain and ignore Soonyoung as best as I can. Which is starting to become harder and harder as his text are becoming more and more overwhelming. I could brush him off for one week, making it seem like I was actually busy with work and not dying a little bit more every night while I watched my favorite movie, ate mint chocolate ice cream and drank wine to wash away the hollowness in my chest. It didn’t even work, it just made it worse for the next day when I looked in the mirror and saw how messy and unkept I looked. I didn’t exactly care but I knew I had to stop being a baby when even Mrs. Choi voiced her concerns about my well-being. I didn’t even know others could see my suffering. Everyone but Soonyoung, who would happily waltz into my office from time to time and tell me random things, which used to entertain me before, but now they were just pissing me off. I wanted to smash his face in, but I couldn’t.

  I was quietly enjoying my coffee in the recreation room when another person entered, making me sigh to myself quietly. I’d have to make conversation again, lovely. But as I turned to face the incomer, my breath caught in my throat and my heart thudded in a dull way. Soonyoung was standing close to me, staring me in the eyes intently, with his eyes narrowed. I gulped and quickly raised the mug to my lips to take a big sip of my coffee, finding it as an excuse to break eye contact.

“Okay, what’s happening with you?” Soonyoung asked when I loudly slurped the coffee, voice angry. My eyes widened as I looked at him, taken aback by his sudden anger. He was rarely angry; it took a lot to piss of Kwon Soonyoung.

I gulped and shrugged as I side stepped him, putting distance between our bodies, “I don’t know. Nothing?”

He was only standing so close to me to intimidate me, to make me tell him what he wanted to know. But I wouldn’t do what he wanted anymore, we were over that. I wasn’t going to bend to his wishes so easily anymore.

“How’s your girlfriend doing?” I asked with a smile, trying not to cringe at the word ‘girlfriend’ and to keep an even tone.

“Pretty well, don’t change the subject” Soonyoung snapped and I dropped my fake happy smile.

“I didn’t” I muttered and continued to slurp my coffee loudly, realizing it was pissing Soonyoung off more. It was actually quite entertaining to watch him clench and unclench his jaw while he glared at my mug, who knew such little action could tick him off!

“Yes, you did and stop slurping that God damn coffee like a five-year-old!”

“Woah, woah, there, horsy! What’s got your knickers in a twist?” I asked with a snicker and Soonyoung opened his mouth lightning fast but he closed it a second later. He took a deep breath and his eyes softened. My heart skipped a beat, the broken pieces becoming a bit more broken if that’s possible, and I tried to look away from his face but our eyes were glued together.

“I don’t know what’s happening with you, but you barely speak to me nowadays” Soonyoung spoke quietly, leaning against the counter defeated. Shit, guilt enveloped me as I watched his tired face, “Your responses to my text messages are dry, you don’t hang out with me anymore and you always throw me out of your office when I have something to rant about! Why are you ignoring me?!”

I lowered my mug on the table that was between us and tried to push down the sudden urge to walk up to him and hug him tightly and apologize, “I know, I just…I’m so busy. These clients are really making me work hard. I mean, their color combination is horrible and we have to make it work somehow. I’m also trying to match the decoration to your sketches, while trying to find a fitting set for the photoshoot. I guess I just got really busy suddenly. But when we are done with these clients we can—uh, hang out…”

“Hang out, yeah” Soonyoung whispered as he looked down at the ground and I bit my lip nervously. It’s not like what I said was a total lie, “Jihoon misses you, you should come hang out with us sometime when you decide to rest even for a second”

Jihoon misses me. Only Jihoon? Jihoon and I aren’t even friends, we just know each other because he’s Soonyoung’s flat mate and because I would go over to have sex with Soonyoung almost daily. I wanted to hear Soonyoung saying he misses me, I wanted him to tell me he can’t live without me, that his heart breaks every day more as we spend less and less time together. This is just like the first time we grew apart, but a lot more painful. Back then I thought I only lost a friend, now I feel like I lost a piece of myself as well.

“I’ll see when I finally get to rest” I smiled at Soonyoung again before quickly leaving the room, leaving a solemn Soonyoung behind. Unlike me, he radiated more and more as days went by. His smile was wider than ever, his laughter louder than before. He even stopped flirting so obviously with the other women, especially Yerim, and it made me think how serious his relationship must be. He never spoke about it, but the little changes said enough. Or at least the little changes he wanted us to see, his real feelings buried deep inside away from everyone’s eyes.

        The day was finally over and I dragged myself home. My apartment quickly became my sanctuary over the past week. Here nobody could bother me if I didn’t let them in and most importantly! I didn’t have to see Soonyoung! If before I couldn’t wait to see Soonyoung, now I can’t wait to get away and ignore him. It’s not the best way to deal with things, I’m further ruining our friendship, but it’s the only way I can cope. For now, I’ll just ignore him for as long as I can, and once I get over him, I can tell him why I did what I did. He would understand me, for sure, and hopefully even forgive me. If I thought before, that I think too much about Soonyoung, ever since he told me he has a girlfriend I feel like I’m obsessed with him. I’m constantly thinking of him and all the if’s that could have been. It’s not healthy and I keep telling myself to stop, but it’s really hard. I want to be the one he hugs and whispers his lame jokes to when cuddling in bed. I want to be the one who gets to wake up to him next to me every morning and cook together breakfast that will be burnt in the end. I want to be the one who’d argue with him for having a messy room, and I want to be with him and plan a future, our future. But I’m not and that thought drives me into craziness and I just want to run into a wall and let my body fall crushed to the ground. But I can’t do all those, I have to live my life. This is just another cruel joke that life has to offer me and so far, I’m not taking it well at all. Jokes are supposed to be funny.

Surprisingly enough, ever since I became pretty much depressive, I found the little motivation hidden deep inside to clean up my apartment and cook daily! My apartment hasn’t been this clean ever since I stopped living with my parents, I made great effort to keep it crystal clear. I even started calling Yerim almost daily to ask her for new recipes, apparently, she’s an amazing cook! I never knew all the cookies she brough to work were cooked by her! It’s as if the suffering Soonyoung caused me has opened my eyes to a new world, in which he didn’t play that much part, and that world, as painful as it was, was actually much better and liberating. But my high spirits were crushed when I opened one cupboard and saw I had no pasta…or sauce for the pasta. I then thought of ditching home cooked dinner but then I opened my fridge and realized I drank all the wine last night. Damn it! I groaned loudly as I turned around and quickly hopped into my white sneakers and pulled on my brown coat. I must look horrible wearing sweatpants, and a turtle neck with a coat. But the little market is just five minutes away, it’s already 8pm, there’s not many people outside since it’s cold. I locked the front door and instead of taking the elevator and wasting my time by waiting for it, I quickly raced down the seven flight of stairs and left the building, shivering at the cold. I underestimated the weather tonight, I should have worn my thick jacket instead of this coat! But that only urged me to walk faster in order to reach the market and the lovely warmness. The bell chimed loudly, the sound drowned out by the music coming from the stereos, as I pushed the door open and stepped inside. There was no one behind the counter and I looked around, trying to remember where the pasta was last time. The boss of the market has a weird habit of reorganizing the aisles every few weeks, confusing, but I won’t question it. As I passed by the freezers my eyes fell on the wines and I hurried towards them, quickly zeroing out my favorite brand. I took a bottle off the shelf and looked around to find the pasta. It was at the second aisle to my left and I strutted towards it with a victorious smile. However, once I got there, I stopped with furrowed eyebrows. What kind of pasta should I buy? There are so many types, I never understood the logic behind it. Isn’t pasta, pasta? Why do you need so many types? Just make spaghetti and everyone will buy it! Why have penne, tagliatelle, tortilla and all the other types that I don’t even know the names of. I rubbed my chin as my eyes juggled between the tagliatelle and the penne. I want to eat Carbonara tonight, but won’t it be too greasy if I use tagliatelle? Maybe I should just go for penne. But penne are so small! I sighed as I took a step back and continued to think of which one to choose, playing with the bottle of wine in my hands. I was so lost in thought that I almost didn’t notice the guy slowly inching closer and closer, eyes focused on the products that were displayed on the shelf. If I wouldn’t have stepped back when I did, he definitely would’ve crushed my toes.

“Oh” He whispered at my sudden movement, eyes widening. My lips formed a thin line as I looked at him wordlessly, “Sorry, I didn’t see you there”

“Yeah, I figured” I mumbled as I watched from the corner of my eye as he bowed his head a little bit. He had light brown hair and it was falling all over his forehead in little waves. I ignored the stranger as I looked back at the different types of pasta and just sighed. But my sigh was louder than I expected, in fact, I realized, the stranger looked just as defeated as I felt. Hearing my sigh caught his attention as I saw him glancing at me from the corner of his eyes.

“You have trouble choosing one?” I found myself asking as I glanced at the stranger again from the corner of my eye. He was quick to look away, but his slightly pink cheeks indicated the fact that he knew I caught him staring.

“Yeah!” The guy chuckled, his voice light and melodic. It carried a warmness that unwillingly brought a smile to my lips.

“You’ve been standing here for longer than me, though” He spoke up again, an amused smile crossing his lips as he looked at me, “You must be more troubled”

“Yeah!” I nodded, finally facing him fully. His eyes were big and I felt like he was smiling at me just with his eyes, as his lips now were in a pout. He was dressed casually and I couldn’t help but laugh when his outfit registered in my mind. His eyes widened a bit as he looked at me and I quickly shook my head.

“Nothing’s funny—I mean, I’m not laughing at you!” I quickly said before he could misunderstand furthermore, “Your outfit, it’s just—before I left my apartment, I thought how hideous I look wearing sweatpants with a coat.”

The handsome stranger looked down at his outfit and then back at me, his eyes wide again, “I know, right?! My friend would be horrified if he saw me dressed like this!”

I giggled and nodded my head quickly, realizing Yerim would’ve skinned me alive, “Mine wouldn’t have appreciated it either”

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow and I almost choked when I realized the sudden warmness on my cheeks was me blushing. Since when do I speak to strangers? Wait, no, since when does a stranger make me blush by such little action? Well, I can’t blame myself too much, this stranger is really eye catching. He’s handsome, I mean, really, handsome.

“So…did you decide yet on what pasta you want?” He cleared his throat as he looked away sheepishly, and I wanted to think it was because he saw my blush and became shy. This stranger wasn’t just handsome, he was actually really cute. And it’s weird how his voice solely made me feel safe, I don’t even know him. But something about his whole demeanor screams safety and lots of warmness. I can imagine what a day would feel like with him. Lots of giggles and laughter, and good time spent well together.

“I don’t understand why there’s so many types. Wasn’t one enough? Why do I have to choose one? What’s their purpose?” The stranger started laughing as I sulkily stared at the shelf, glaring at the pasta. Suddenly something warm spread through my chest hearing his laughter again, and I blushed, again.

“Well, if it helps, I don’t know either, but I choose penne” He stepped forward and grabbed a pack of penne before turning around to face me.

“I think I’m going with the same choice…” I muttered as I followed his previous actions and turned to face him once I had the pack in my right hand, left holding the wine. I made sure to leave a respectable amount of space between us, even though I wouldn’t have minded being a bit closer to him. He had an innocent sort of lure that was getting harder to ignore.

“I’m Joshua.” After a few seconds of silence, the stranger, Joshua, spoke up. His name rolled down effortlessly his tongue, articulating the name with a perfect American accent. I blushed and I almost slapped my own cheek in front of this handsome man—Joshua.

“I’m Y/N,” I squeaked out once I realized I stayed quiet for too long, “Uhm—your name it’s—uh…you’re a foreigner?”

I wanted to dig my own grave as I stuttered over my own words, my cheeks becoming warmer as a sweet smile appeared on Joshua’s lips. Many would have been amused by my reaction, but he looked understanding, like he wasn’t bothered by me asking.

“Sort of,” He started explaining and I raised my eyebrows at his answer, “I grew up in LA, but I moved back when I was around ten years old”

“Oh,” I nodded in understanding and Joshua scratched the back of his neck, “Explains the subtle accent”

He chuckled and now it was his turn to blush and I had to bite my lip to not smile so widely, “Yeah, well—you could call me Jisoo too. But I might not react to that name…”

“I think Joshua fits you, it’s a pretty name” A pretty name for a pretty boy, I almost continued aloud, feeling just as flustered as Joshua looked.

“Thank you” He mumbled quietly and I cleared my throat and motioned for us to start walking.

“You live in the neighborhood?” I asked as we walked towards the cashier.

“No, but my friend does” Joshua answered with a shake of his head and I hummed, glancing at him again. He was attention capturing, my thoughts were suddenly silenced. I was only focused on him, a sudden calmness overtaking me, calmness I haven’t felt in long. Even the hollowness in my chest felt subsided. And he’s just a stranger, he made me feel like that in the ten minutes we interacted. Could he make me feel more if we were to spend more time together? With the sudden surge of confidence and curiosity, I opened my mouth to speak up again.

“Do you want to exchange phone numbers?” Joshua stopped walking and he turned to look at me shocked. I examined his face to see if I made him uncomfortable, but he only looked surprised, “It’s fine if you don’t want to, Joshua”

“No! I actually want to!” He quickly spoke up and fished his phone out of his pocket at lightning speed. I smiled and took it in my hands, his phone unlocked already, as I went to his contacts to type in my number.

“I left my phone at home so you’ll have to text me first” I said with a wink as I handed his phone back after I saved my number, “I really hope you’ll text me…”

Joshua giggled as he quickly worked something on his phone, his fingers working fast before he was showing the phone’s screen to me.

To Y/N: Hi, this is Joshua. I promise I’m not a creep, can you promise me the same thing?

I laughed quietly as I nodded my head when Joshua put his phone away, “I can promise you that I’m not a creep.”

“Good.” He grinned and placed his items on the counter, “As much as I’d like to spend some more time with you right now, Minghao isn’t a very patient person, and we are hungry too”

“Oh, yes, sure! Wouldn’t want to hold you back from having dinner” I placed my own items on the counter as Joshua paid for his purchase. The cashier scanned my wine and penne before she placed the items in a bag.

“I hope you’ll answer my text, I’m not very patient when it comes to texting…” Joshua said in a teasing manner as he held the door open for me, we walked out together after I paid.

“Give me five minutes” I chuckled as we stopped in front of the shop, shivering as the cold breeze passed underneath our coats.

“I’ll give you ten” Joshua smiled a bit and I chuckled before biding him goodbye and quickly hurrying home. I wasn’t even that hungry anymore, I just wanted to talk to Joshua. I was giddy and breathless by the time I made it up to my apartment, having ran up seven flight of stairs. It felt like all my worries were gone as I looked forward to texting Joshua, a good feeling spreading through my body.

        It only took us two days to agree on going on a date. It was the fastest someone has taken me out on a date after getting to know me. But during those two days, Saturday and Sunday, I felt like I’ve known Joshua for my whole life. He was really funny, in a very innocent way meanwhile Soonyoung’s energy always drained me. However, Joshua, he knew how to balance out being serious but funny at the same time. Sometimes he would make snarky comments and I didn’t fail to notice his mischievous nature. He liked to play pranks on his friends, I found out after he told me a story of him pranking his two friends at work. His boss wasn’t very impressed with Joshua but he likes him too much to fire him for such petty thing, and it was April 1st. Joshua worked as a banker in the city center, half an hour away from my own office. He likes to take long walks in his free time, he likes going on little trips in the country, rides his bicycle every Saturday in the forest on the outskirts of the city, he likes playing the guitar and watching movies when he’s feeling stressed. We agreed on doing a movie night the next time he gets stressed. I felt like a high school girl when talking to Joshua. My heart would start beating faster every time my phone alerted me that I had a new message and I would be really disappointed when it was just a simple notification and not Joshua texting me. However, he did keep his word about being an impatient texter. He really didn’t make me wait with his replies and if he was busy, he’d tell me, so that I knew why he wasn’t able to answer me right away. On Friday, the day we met in the shop, we stayed up until 3 am texting. I would burst out laughing every five minutes, maybe it was from the wine in my system, but everything Joshua said that night seemed to be overly funny. He told me he’s never seen someone looking so serious while shopping for pasta, neither did he think someone would get frustrated over such topic: ‘why are there so many types’. My cheeks flared up when he confessed telling his friend, Minghao, that he took so long to arrive back to his apartment because he was talking to a chick who was angry at pasta. He also said, Minghao’s words, “that he can’t believe Joshua was able to pick up a girl looking dressed like that”. I had to agree with Minghao and Joshua feigned hurt for a good ten minutes, ten minutes that I wouldn’t stop laughing because wasn’t Minghao right? Even I thought we looked ridiculous dressed like that. It was hard to put my phone aside and focus on my work, work that I tried pushing to the back of my mind, because it reminded me of Soonyoung. And Joshua made me feel so good and happy, that even the thought of thinking of Soonyoung infuriated me. I didn’t want to see him or think of him, I didn’t want the hollowness in my chest to return, the frustrating thoughts and wondering of what could have been, I wanted peace and happiness. Joshua offered me those and I tried to focus on them while working, even if it was hard. Soonyoung hasn’t texted me for three days now, and I would lie if I said I didn’t hope he’d do it. I missed him, again, and I missed him badly. I wanted to cuddle up next to him in bed and whine about the horrible color choices the bride and groom made. That I couldn’t handle this task without him, that I could barely handle myself without him. But I refused to do that, I realized it was unhealthy and I realized Soonyoung truly does see me as his best friend and I’m ruining the friendship we tried so badly to restore once we met again at work. I was selfish for ignoring him, but I couldn’t think of any other coping way. His words still hurt me, his words like poison to my heart. But Joshua…he made it all go away. He pulled me in and made me think of the present only and the feelings he was giving me. No Soonyoung, no pain. That’s why I decided Joshua deserved a chance, I deserved a chance. Soonyoung was happy, then why wouldn’t I be too? Why limit myself to a man who didn’t see me the way I see him? It was time to mature and move on.

My smile spread from ear to ear as I read the text from Joshua, ‘Good morning, cutie ^^’, while I brushed my teeth. I slept well last night but now my stomach wouldn’t stop grumbling. And it wasn’t because I didn’t have breakfast yet, it was because in an hour I’d be on a date with Joshua. Our very first date, and hopefully there is many more to come. I quickly sent back a good morning text and did my morning routine. Once I was dressed in a nice dark green, form fitting, dress that reached my ankles, I grabbed my purse and folder that I needed for later for the meeting. My red high heels clicked loudly as I descended the stairs, I might hate elevators because they kind of make me feel claustrophobic. I quickly got into my car once I got outside, shivering at the cold morning breeze. Joshua had a tight schedule this week and so did I, it was my own fault really for postponing the meeting with Soonyoung for so long, so we agreed on having a breakfast date at the coffee shop that’s closest to both of our workplaces. The car ride to the coffee shop didn’t take as long as I expected, today’s traffic wasn’t so bad, that was a first. So, I got there earlier and decided to wait in front of the coffee shop, but to my surprise, Joshua was already waiting at the front entrance. I quickly hurried up and hearing my high heels, Joshua turned towards me and smiled. A wide smile appeared on my own lips as I stopped in front of him, cheeks warming up when he pulled me in a short but warm hug. We greeted each other shyly and Joshua opened the door for me, both of us shivering once we were inside and enveloped in warmness.

“What would you like?” Joshua’s eyebrows rose as he turned towards me.

“One tall Caramel Macchiato and a croissant sandwich.” I answered and Joshua nodded before walking to the front counter. I looked around and chose a seat that was next to the wall, a pretty painting of flowers hung above the table. There weren’t many people in the shop right now as it was early and most people were already at work, thankfully, our schedules started later on the day. We had two hours before we had to head to work.

“Here” Joshua whispered more to himself as he placed down a tray in front of me, my order on it. I thanked him and helped him with his own tray, taking it from him and placing it on the table as he took his coat off and hung it on the hanger behind our table. I quickly followed his actions and took off my own coat, hanging it next to his.

“Do you plan on telling me how much my order was?” I asked with a smile as Joshua chuckled and shook his head, “Okay, I’ll just look at the menu on our way out and pay you back before we part ways”

“Oh, come on, Y/N!” Joshua giggled as he leaned back in his chair, his warm brown eyes connecting with mine, “It’s our first date. Next time I’ll let you pay for both of us”

“Only if on the third date we get to split evenly” I pointed a playful finger at him and a big smile spread on his lips, which he tried to hide by drinking from his drink. It was Caramel Macchiato, good choice.

“I really like the idea of a third date…” He trailed off and I bit my lower lip, looking down at my food.

“To be honest, I haven’t been on a date in ages, so I might be a bit rusty at it” I admitted and giggled a bit, feeling embarrassed. I was too wrapped up in Soonyoung to go on dates, or to even think about someone else. Apparently, he wasn’t.

“Don’t worry, so far so good” I gave Joshua a pointed look and he shrugged his shoulders, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“We’ve been together for like…fifteen minutes?” I glanced down at my wrist watch, “I don’t think I had the time to fuck up yet”

“Yeah, about that…” Joshua’s lips pulled up in a thin line and I raised my eyebrows.

“Now you made me curious, tell me all about it”

“Uh, maybe it’s not a first date kind of subject to talk about—”

“No, no, you really have to tell me Joshua, or I’ll nag you forever about it” I smacked my lips in a tight line and Joshua sighed before clearing his throat. He sat up tighter and his sudden serious demeanor took me by surprise, but when his lips quivered, I realized he was joking around and I gave him a small glare.

“Right, so…I went on a date with a girl, like…two years ago?” His eyes narrowed as he thought for a second, but then continued on with his story, “And like…I offered to pick her up and drive her to the cinema, we were having a movie date, and then while we are in the car, she turns pale and stops talking to me”

“Oh, your breath must have smelled really bad, dude…” I muttered, interrupting Joshua, and he threw me a warning glare. I started giggling and quickly bit into my croissant to muffle the sound as Joshua just shook his head.

“That really wasn’t the case, Y/N, I was literally chewing on the strongest gum out there—”

“If it’s Orbit, it really isn’t the strongest one, Shua” I interrupted once again and he wanted to glare at me, but his lips turned into a smile. My cheeks warmed up realizing that I just gave him a nickname, but he seemed to really enjoy it.

“It was Airwaves Extreme, hon, that thing throws your throat on fire” Just like my cheeks are on fire right now? I gulped down the rest of the croissant that was in my mouth carefully, trying to ignore the fact that he called me ‘hon’, shit, this is the first date only and I’m already dying? Was I out of the dating life for too long or does Joshua really have this effect on me?

“Anyways, back to the important things—the girl had food poisoning, so I had to drive her to the hospital. She felt bad for our ruined date, and so did I, until I found out she was set up by her younger sister and wasn’t really looking for a new relationship because she was pinning on a different guy already” I gulped a bit harder, eyes locking with Joshua’s. His lips were in a grimace and I hummed quietly, telling myself that I’m not pinning on Soonyoung. I’m getting over him, whatever I felt for him will soon be gone. Gone, because I have Joshua, because I want to try this out with him.

“What about the tickets…” I mumbled and Joshua nodded with a solemn look on his face.

“Didn’t go to waste, I went to the movie with Jeonghan, the co-worker I pranked” I giggled remembering the story he told me on Friday and wiped my mouth with a tissue before speaking.

“I still can’t believe you poured glitter all over his desk and his suit!” Joshua started laughing, his chest moving up and down by the force of it and I grinned, once again, from ear to ear.

“He looked good with the pink glitter though” He said with a grin once his laughter died down and I hummed, biting into my sandwich again.

“Are you not going to eat your breakfast?” I asked as I glanced down at his plate, two toasts sitting untouched.

“We’ve still got time, right?” He raised an eyebrow and I nodded as I glanced at my watch. Half an hour has already passed, but we still had time, indeed.

“I feel like I did all the talking…” He trailed off, playing with his tissue, “Like, I told you a lot about myself. Not that you didn’t tell me about your hobbies or something, but, you didn’t really talk about your childhood or friends…”

I hummed and took a sip of my drink, clearing my throat before speaking up, “Well, because I consider myself a boring person? I mean, compared to your filled childhood, mine sounds so boring. So, I didn’t want to like…bore you with mine, you know…”

“If I found you boring, Y/N, I wouldn’t have stayed up until 3 am or texted you daily or asked you on this date or would’ve thought about the other many dates that I’d like to go on with you” Joshua spoke with passion and a serious voice, making my heart beat quicken. He really wanted to hear my story, to get to know me. He was curious of who I used to be before I blossomed into the person I am today. I forgot, how it works when you meet someone new. When Soonyoung and I reconciled, I didn’t have to tell him everything about my life, I just had to fill in the gaps of the time he wasn’t part of my life, he already knew the rest about me. But Joshua is someone new, someone who doesn’t know, someone who doesn’t know my past self. He wants to know me more, to discover me and create a future with me.

“Where do I start…” I sighed as I glanced at the beautiful painting before looking back at Joshua, “I’m an only child, I was well off while growing up but we did struggle from time to time. My mother owns a restaurant and my father is a taxi driver. I’m usually late to everything, it’s a bad habit my father passed down on me. I went to college in my hometown because we couldn’t afford me going to a prestigious one, but that’s okay. I’m doing my dream job now, it all turned out well in the end. I don’t really have friends, if I’m being honest, I already told you I was never bothered being on my own. Being alone isn’t something that scares me, it gives me comfort rather.”

Joshua listened to me closely and nodded his head every once and then, a warm and understanding smile on his lips, “Come on, you must have had at least one friend…”

“Well,” I chuckled and tried to keep a neutral expression while thinking about Soonyoung, “I guess I accidentally did end up making a friend. We met back in high school, but during college we drifted apart because he transferred to a better college. And because the world is so small…we met at work again, became co-workers, so we reconciled. He’s known me for the longest. I guess I could call Yerim a friend too but…you know, I don’t feel her close to me like I do with…Soonyoung”

Joshua studied my expression and he nodded while blinking, lips jutted out a bit, “So…it’s a he, huh?”

I shrugged and took a sip of my Caramel Macchiato, “He ran into me in the hallway when we were both late to class…that definitely wasn’t the last time we were late to somewhere”

Joshua chuckled and nodded his head, a charming smile directed at me. I bit my lower lip, suddenly feeling shy under his intense gaze. It felt like he was looking straight into my soul and I took my time to shamelessly check him out. He was wearing a dark brown suit, a white shirt underneath and no tie on. He looked very official, all buttons done, unlike Soonyoung. He was always showing his collarbones off, a necklace on from time to time and, of course, his rings. Soonyoung never left the house without his rings. Joshua was his opposite. He wore no jewelry, and as attractive as I found men wearing rings and necklaces, I found Joshua even more attractive with his put together and elegant look. His hair was still messy, however, falling in his eyes in waves and I thought it looked even more attractive now with his current outfit.

“I think I could get used to mornings like this one…” Joshua spoke quietly, smile now turned fond and I let out a small sigh of air, “You look really beautiful”

“Thank you,” His words were so innocent and genuine, unlike the filthy words Soonyoung would whisper in my ear while we were at work, “I knew men in suits were attractive, but you took it to a whole another level”

Joshua burst out laughing and I followed him, feeling light and warm. My cheeks would hurt by the end of this date, that’s how much I smile because of Joshua. My skin tingled and my heart quickened every time I took a sneaky glance at him and I realized, it took him two days to make me like him. And I didn’t just like him, oh no, I liked him very much. But maybe it was attraction at first sight, something that I haven’t felt before. Not even with Soonyoung. This feeling was brand new and reserved for Joshua only. Finally, something that Soonyoung couldn’t rob me off.

“You should eat your toast, Shua, because I know if you won’t, I sure will” I said with a shrug and Joshua shook his head before finally taking one toast and biting into it. I smiled at him contently and sipped my drink, feeling genuinely happy for the first time in two weeks.

Our date came to an end sadly and we left the coffee shop half an hour before we’d have to start working. Joshua didn’t have a ride because Minghao offered him one, apparently, he slept over at his apartment, so I offered to drive Joshua to his workplace and save him from freezing to death. We walked to the parking lot and I unlocked my car when we were a few feet away and my eyes widened when Joshua sat in the driver’s seat. I stopped walking and gazed curiously at the passenger door as it was opened from the inside.

“Get in, hon, I’m driving today” I couldn’t help but laugh as I finally sat inside, turning towards Joshua amused.

“What are you doing, Shua?” I asked airily, unable to stop laughing.

“I would’ve opened the door for you before getting inside, but I have a feeling you would have refused, so…I took matters in my hands and I’ll be driving you to work!” He clapped his hands together once, excitedly, before he reached for his seatbelt. I was still laughing as I buckled in my own and opened my palm so that he could take the car keys. When his long fingers brushed against the skin of my palm, something that felt like slight electricity traveled up my arm all the way to my chest. This was new, I’ve never experienced this before. Not even the first time Soonyoung touched me in a sensual way. Joshua must have felt it too when his eyes lingered on my palm, and I bit my lip and turned away to look out the window as he started my car, engine roaring to life.

“You’ll be cold by the time you arrive to the Bank” I tried to convince Joshua while we were still in the parking lot, “It’s a twenty-minute-long walk. What if you get a flu? We’ll have to postpone our second date and maybe I’ll have to come over and nurse you—”

“If I get you to come over by getting sick, I will catch a flu on purpose” I tsked and lightly punched his thigh as we were in traffic and not in the parking lot anymore, aiming for his arm would be dangerous.

“I will come over some time, idiot, don’t catch a flu—”

“Oh, good.” He grinned as we stopped at a red light, turning his head towards me, “Calling me an idiot on the first date?”

I instantly blushed, my whole face going red probably, “Sorry, that was inappropriate”

Joshua just chuckled, driving past the traffic light as it turned green, a smirk on his handsome face, “I see you’re getting comfortable around me, we love to see it”

“Joshua…” I muttered quietly, throwing him a glare that I knew he could see from the corner of his eyes. His smirk turned into a wide smile and I sighed as I looked out the window, fighting my own smile to act like I was sulking.

“Don’t worry, I called Jeonghan to pick me up while you were in the restroom” Joshua spoke in a reassuring, warm, voice and I turned towards him again, gaping a bit.

“You, Hong Joshua Jisoo, are something” I huffed out, “First, your friend drives you to your date, then you steal your date’s car and drive her to work, but then your co-worker picks you up!”

“What can I say,” Joshua turned his head just a bit, enough for me to see the sneaky smirk, to glance at me, “I have good connections and I can be very persuasive”

“Mhm” I hummed with a grimace and he just laughed, slowing the car as he turned on the street that led behind the building I worked in. He turned into the parking lot and parked my car nicely, turning the engine off. We undid our seatbelts and Joshua gave me the keys. I was reaching for the door handle but Joshua’s hand on my left hand stopped me from doing so.

“Not to sound cocky, but I think you had a great time with me and I felt amazing for the past two hours, so…that second date is set then?” I grinned at Joshua and nodded my head.

“We go cycling on Wednesday, yes?” Joshua nodded his head, his hand still on mine. My heart started beating quickly again and I glanced down at our hands before squeezing his fingers lightly. When I looked back up at him, his smile was replaced with a contemplating look and I gulped, hoping he’d lean in and kiss me. Peck me on the cheek or give me an actual kiss, I didn’t care as long as his lips touched my face.

“Cycling on Wednesday because you are busy on Saturday, that’s right.” Joshua spoke quietly, eyes on my lips and I just wanted to lean in and kiss him, but decided to ground myself, “See? I’m even changing my habits for you”

“Which is good in case a serial killer was following you and figured out your habit, Joshua” Maybe that sentence was a mood killer, because Joshua laughed and stopped looking at my lips. I really shouldn’t have said that, but I couldn’t help myself. I knew he wouldn’t judge me, so everything that ran through my mind had to be voiced. With Soonyoung, that simple sentence definitely would’ve been a mood killer. He would’ve whined about me being weird and ruining the mood with stupid remarks, but Joshua didn’t do that. No, he actually leaned in and pressed his red lips against mine. His were soft and a bit cold as I pressed my lips back, closing my eyes and enjoying the way my heart was about to explode, the blush on my cheeks and the tingling of my skin. The kiss only lasted for a minute but it was enough, I didn’t want it to last longer. It felt loving and reassuring. It wasn’t desperate and demanding, like the kisses I was used to receiving from Soonyoung. This kiss felt like it said ‘we’ve got all the time in the world, let’s take it slow’, and I liked slow. I liked the process and the freedom I felt still.

“Go inside before you are late, again, Y/N” Joshua spoke sweetly, patting my hand before opening his door. I nodded to myself, he’s not wrong, and opened my door, getting out. Once the car was locked Joshua walked me to the front of the building and looked up at it, squinting.

“Have a good day, don’t forget to text me when you have time.” He winked at me and I rolled my eyes.

“I’m afraid I was too lazy and I really won’t have time to text you that much, maybe in the evening. You can still leave me messages, I’ll look at them when I have time!” Joshua hummed and nodded before patting down my hair.

“It was a bit ruffled…” He muttered and I smiled knowingly at him. Sure, it was, Joshua.

“Hey, yo!” Suddenly a shrill voice caught our attention and Joshua groaned, “Bro, you have exactly ten seconds to get in the car before I leave you here!”

Joshua closed his eyes in exasperation and I laughed as I pushed him forward, “Go, talk to you later!”

Joshua waved and winked as he jogged towards his friend’s parked car, Jeonghan I assume, his car was blocking the traffic and cars were already honking behind him.

“I’m going, I’m going!” Jeonghan shouted, his window still down, as he looked back at me, “Nice to meet you, pretty lady! Next time Joshua can introduce us formally, but we’ve got to go before these monsters cuss me out!”

“Bye!” I laughed and waved as Joshua rolled the window up, cheeks flushed as he shook his head at me, and Jeonghan took off, lips moving quickly as he spoke to Joshua. With a smile on my face, and carefree, I walked inside the building feeling proud that I wasn’t late today.

        My happiness didn’t last for long, as I was expecting it already. Everything went well until Soonyoung and I finally met up for the meeting in my office. I had all plans and sketches laid out on my table, all ready before Soonyoung came, so that we wouldn’t waste time on that as well. We were on a tight schedule and two weeks went by without us doing much, which was really my fault. But that meant that right now we had to move fast and decide what we wanted so that we could order everything for the reception and be ready on time. My stomach was making sounds the closer the time of the meeting came and I blamed it on the little breakfast I had, but I knew it was because of Soonyoung. I wasn’t ready to face him, not after the amazing morning I had with Joshua. I wanted to stay relaxed and cheerful, but I knew upon seeing Soonyoung I would turn moody and irritated. Seeing him would only make me miss him more, something I didn’t need right now. A knock on my door made me jump and I straightened up in my seat before calling out for the person that it was okay to enter. The door opened and in walked Soonyoung, looking just as flawless as always. He was still wearing his black suit, upper buttons of his white shirt undone and rings on his fingers. My eyes focused on the pendant hanging around his neck, realizing it was the one I bought him two years ago when we went on a vacation in Jeju. I gulped and focused my eyes on his face, trying to give him a genuine smile.

“Good morning,” He greeted quietly as he shuffled around, frowning down at the papers in his hands. I bit my lip and stopped myself before I could sigh, I really missed hearing his voice. I’ve been doing my best to ignore him and I was succeeding at it way too well.

“Good morning,” I greeted back once I found my voice, Soonyoung now was seated across from me, all papers placed down on the table.

“Fancy seeing you finally decided to meet up.” His voice was bitter and I rolled my eyes as I looked down at his sketches, refusing to make eye contact with him even though he was searching for my gaze intently.

“Yeah, I was really undecided about this project…” I muttered, reaching across my table and taking Soonyoung’s sketches into my hands. He mimicked my actions and did the same thing, my sketches in his hands. I hummed quietly as my eyes ran over the drawings Soonyoung made, reading the descriptions on the backs of them. He had good ideas and I liked them more than the ones I chose. However, his location choices didn’t fit well with the theme the bride and groom wanted. I was so lost in thought that I almost missed Soonyoung gazing intently at me, almost.

“What?” I snapped before I could control myself, eyes falling on him. He was chewing the inside of his mouth and just shrugged before he looked back down at the sketches.

“Nothing…” He muttered but looked back at me, sending the butterflies in a frenzy in my stomach, “Just missed you, I guess. And you look amazing today”

I gulped and ignored the way my body reacted to his words, the want to walk up to him and embrace him powerful, “Thanks. You look the same as always”

Soonyoung chuckled and sent me a smirk, one I decided to ignore, before he placed one sketch back on the table.

“I like this design, it looks good” He said, pointing at the paper and I nodded as I placed all of his sketches on the table.

“The locations you chose aren’t very fitting, Soonyoung, it doesn’t go well with the theme” I decided to be direct with him, the faster we get over this the better. I really want to text Joshua right now. And as if he’s a mind reader, my phone pinged, signaling I just got a message from him. Soonyoung’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me confused.

“Why are they not good? They want something water themed so I looked over all the locations they could afford and those are the only decent ones” He said, voice a bit aggressive, as he looked at me. It wasn’t like this was the first time we disagreed on something for work, but he never got hot headed about it.

“I get it, but they are either too small for all the people they invited to fit inside or not next to an actual water” I explained as my phone pinged again, and I bit my lip to hide my smile. Joshua must be having his lunch break right now. Which just reminds me of how hungry I am right now.

“You can’t have everything” Soonyoung shrugged nonchalantly, eyes falling on my phone when it made another sound, “They either give up on a few people or raise their budget where I can find them an actual place that has it all”

I threw him a glare before looking back down at the sketches, choosing one that could work out, “Yeah, well, it’s a bit too late to tell them we can’t find a suitable place. We have to make it work”

“Well, who’s fault is it, huh?” My eyes snapped back up, focusing on Soonyoung, who was glaring at me. I scoffed and shook my head before pushing the sketches towards him.

“I’m sorry I have a life that doesn’t revolve around you and work only! I had other things to take care of, besides, it’s not like you can’t do this without me!” My voice raised a few octaves and Soonyoung’s eyes narrowed at me as he leaned forward, challenging me with his gaze.

“We are partners for a reason, Y/N, I can’t choose a place without you matching the décor to it” He snapped back, voice leveled, but the way he was clenching his jaw gave away his anger.

“Stop making excuses and find a place! Or do I have to do that as well?!” I stood up from my chair, realizing this meeting really wasn’t going the way I wanted it to go. Now I was just screaming at him and letting my frustrations out because he has a girlfriend and I’m in love with him. It’s not really his fault he couldn’t find a bigger and better place, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to scream at him, to make him feel like I felt the day he told me he was seeing someone. I knew it wasn’t a reasonable reason nor a nice thing to do, but I had to let it out.

“What the fuck!” Soonyoung was on his feet in an instant, eyes glaring at me as he slammed one hand down, “Don’t make this sound like I always fuck up or something! If you didn’t ignore me for two fucking weeks this wouldn’t be an issue right now—”

“I wasn’t ignoring you—”

“Oh, fuck off!” Soonyoung rolled his eyes as silence enveloped us. I fisted my palms and willed myself to take deep breaths and think logically before I said something that could ruin the last thin thread our friendship was hanging on. But then my phone pinged again, twice this time, and Soonyoung’s eyes snapped towards it.

“Can’t you turn the fucking phone off?” I glared at him and took the phone off the table and threw it in my purse, which was by the foot of my table.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” I argued and Soonyoung rolled his eyes before crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Why are you ignoring me?” The way he was looking at me left no room for denial. I knew he knew what I was doing, and he also knew he was right. He caught me red handed and I didn’t have a good enough excuse this time. So, I didn’t think much before I answered him.

“Because I can.” Soonyoung laughed humorlessly before he stalked towards me, making me glare at him.

“You can’t just ignore me. We are friends. You stopped talking to me ever since I told you I have a girlfriend as if it’s the end of the fucking world—” He stopped talking abruptly, standing just a foot away from me. We looked into each other’s eyes and Soonyoung gulped. It was clear that he finally realized what was the reason and I didn’t care anymore. If this was the way he found out I had feelings for him, so be it. Now, I’m working on getting over him so I don’t care anymore. I have Joshua, someone who makes me feel like no one has done it before. And I want to make it work.

“Yeah, well, it was the end of the fucking world for me, Soonyoung. But don’t worry, it’s not like you should have at least warned the person you were fucking regularly that you might be seeing someone” I huffed and smiled at him bitterly, watching as his face became expressionless. Of course, classic Soonyoung, act like nothing is happening in the middle of something serious.

“I didn’t have time to—”

“I don’t give a fuck about your excuses!” I snapped and pointed a finger at him, “Get out of my office and find a fucking place by tonight for the reception. If you don’t, I’ll work with Chan on this reception and cut you from it. It’s not like we are actual partners, I can work with whomever I want.”

Soonyoung’s jaw clenched more and he raised a hand, about to grab me, but quickly put it down by his side and went to gather his sketches.

“Two weeks of no dick turned you into a real fucking bitch” His sneer was malicious, he wanted to hurt me, to remind me I could no longer have him. And I was surprised when I started laughing, finding his words amusing. He was wrong, not getting dicked down for two weeks felt like a fresh breath of air. I didn’t realize how stressed it made me feel when he’d come over daily. Most of the time I wasn’t even in the mood but decided to go along with him because I knew afterward, I could be close to him, at least until one of us left.

“What makes you think you are the only one who could give me dick, Soonyoung?” I laughed and watched as his expression morphed into furry, his eyes traveling to my bag. Oh, this is amazing. He might think that’s my booty call and that just makes this situation even more hilarious.

“Yeah, so…maybe you should start working, unless you want Chan to be the one getting paid” I smiled sweetly at my friend and he threw me a glare that could kill before turning around and storming out of my office, slamming the door after him. But I wasn’t feeling better than he was looking, so I fished out my phone and distracted myself by answering Joshua.

       The chill music played lowly in the background as my finger hovered over the ‘send’ button. Soonyoung never contacted me with the new sketch, so I assumed he wouldn’t do it. I mean, it’s almost 12:00 pm, if he didn’t do it by now, he won’t do it. Chan is someone who I know I can trust, we’ve worked together before when Soonyoung was away, and he works fast and neat. But I didn’t know what to do, Joshua said I should wait until tomorrow and work it out at the office. I didn’t tell him the co-worker I fought with is my friend, Soonyoung, because I’m not ready to tell Joshua yet about the relationship I had with him and how I feel about Soonyoung. We haven’t even gone on our second date, which is in two days, I don’t want to ruin it. But even with Joshua’s reassuring words that I’ll work things out tomorrow, I couldn’t help but feel anxious. I have never neglected my work before and Mrs. Choi relied on me a lot, I was nervous I’d fail for the first time and I wasn’t ready to face the consequences for my childish acts. If the jiggling of keys wouldn’t have distracted me, I would have sent the message to Chan. But my eyebrows furrowed when a key was pushed into the lock of my door from the outside, after the person missed for the fourth time, and I stood up alerted from the counter. What is he doing here at this hour? I rushed to my front door, ready to lock it again before the person could enter, but I was a few seconds late because by the time I got there, it was already being pushed open.

“Y/N!” A raspy voice slurred and my eyebrows furrowed when my eyes fell on Soonyoung and saw the state he was in. His jacket was barely on him, white shirt even more undone than the last time I saw him today, his whole chest on display.

“What the hell are you doing!” I exclaimed when Soonyoung literally fell through my door, I quickly caught him before he could hit the floor.

“Y/N!” He slurred again and I was being pulled into Soonyoung, his face buried in my neck, arms sneaking around my waist. The air left my lungs at the sudden contact, heart beating at a mile. I was frozen as I gulped down the sudden feelings ignited inside my body and pushed closed the front door, locking it.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered, more to myself, as I bit my lips and gave in. My arms went around Soonyoung’s torso and I sighed as I closed my eyes. I missed him so much, his warmth and his scent. His body felt like heaven right now, to be hugging him, it was like something broke inside my stomach as I allowed myself to melt into Soonyoung for a few seconds longer. I knew this was wrong, but I couldn’t help it. I missed him so much.

“Y/N…” Soonyoung sighed into my neck, the hairs rising on arms, as he tried to stand up straight by me supporting his weight.

“You’re so drunk, Soonyoung…” I sighed as I ran a hand through his black hair, pushing it out of his eyes. The alcohol was so strong that it almost filled my nose as I put a little distance between our bodies, “Take your shoes off”

Soonyoung nodded wordlessly and while holding onto me, he pushed his shoes off clumsily, giggling when he lost his balance for a second, making me gasp as I had to catch him once again.

“Stop being silly, Soonyoung.” I scolded him as I rested one of his arms around my shoulders and walked him further inside my apartment, towards the sofa in the living room.

“I’m so shitfaced, Y/N!” He giggled again as he spoke, his words slurring even more and I shook my head with a sigh.

“You don’t say…” I helped him sit on the sofa, and he just fell on it, giggling again when he bounced a bit on the mattress.

“Stay here, I’ll bring you water” I pointed a finger at him, his small eyes narrowed as he looked up at me through hooded eyes, a lazy grin on his lips. I narrowed my eyes at him and Soonyoung shrugged before nodding once, signaling he understood. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass to fill it with water. What am I doing? Should I even nurse him? Why did he even come over? He should have gone home or to his girlfriend, why is he here, with me? I wanted to send him home after making him drink water, but I just couldn’t. He’s so drunk he can barely stand; I’m amazed he even got here.

After he drank his water, we stayed quiet. I placed the glass in the sink and went back to the living room, sitting on the little coffee table, to face him. Soonyoung’s lips were jutted out as he continued looking at his fingers, playing with them. Suddenly, a buzzing sound caught our attention and Soonyoung lazily reached inside his pocket and pulled out his phone. His eyebrows furrowed as he brought the phone closer to his face, mouthing the name of the caller. He looked more and more confused as seconds went by so I took the phone out of his hands. It said ‘babe’. My eyes went back to him as I held the ringing phone in my hands, not bothering to pick up.

“I should answer that…” Soonyoung trailed off, eyebrows furrowed as he reached forward, totally missing the direction I was sat in, “She’ll kill me tomorrow if I don’t…”

“I’ll let her know, okay? You don’t have to answer the phone right now.” I pushed him by his exposed chest to sit him down, he rose to take the phone from me, but his hand gripped mine against his chest, “I’ll—I’ll tell her, don’t worry.”

I gulped as Soonyoung ignored everything I was saying, his half-opened eyes focused on my hand against his exposed chest. His warm hand was pressing it against his heart and I didn’t have the power in me to pull away, not yet. So, I just gulped and unlocked Soonyoung’s phone before dialing a number. It rung five times before it was answered.

“You have three seconds before I hang up on you—”

“Jihoon!”

“Oh—oh, Y/N—” The man on the other end sounded surprised, “Hi!”

“Hey!” I greeted back, my fingers twitching as Soonyoung started playing with them.

“Is everything okay?” I could hear worry seep into Jihoon’s voice, “Why are you calling form Soonyoung’s phone?”

“He’s—very drunk…” I cleared my throat when Soonyoung intertwined his fingers with mine, “I would send him home but he can barely stand on his feet. And I know I just woke you up, which I’m sorry for by the way, so I’m not going to ask you to come and get him. I, however, want to ask you to do me a favor…”

“I mean, if I’m already awake…” Jihoon sighed and I smiled, eye connecting with Soonyoung’s as he looked up from our hands.

“Call his girlfriend and tell her he’s really drunk and had a blackout, please? She keeps calling him” There was silence on the other end before Jihoon groaned, I knew he just rolled his eyes.

“The fucking things I do for that idiot, I swear, and even you!” Jihoon was starting to get angry, and he had a good reason for it, “I get your situation, I really do! But if he’s going to act like that, I won’t cover for him every time—”

“Hey! It’s not like that!” I quickly cut Jihoon off, knowing where his thoughts were taking him, “He’s very drunk, I’m not lying!”

“Jihoon, I love you!” Soonyoung exclaimed loudly, as if to confirm my words, and I squeezed his hand, sending him a glare. My neighbors have kids who are sleeping at this hour!

“Fine, whatever, make sure he doesn’t drown or something—actually, no, let him die.” I chuckled as Jihoon grumbled a goodbye before hanging up on me.

“He loves me, deep down, I know it” Soonyoung sing-singed and gave a harsh tug to my arm, surprising me, as I fell over him. I went rigid as Soonyoung’s hands started roaming my back, tugging me closer into him, until I was straddling his hips, no space between our bodies. I clutched Soonyoung’s phone in my hand tightly, afraid to even breathe.

“I missed you,” He sighed into my neck, head falling on my shoulder, “So, so, so much, Y/N”

I gulped and bit my lip, unable to move yet as I tried to fight my own thoughts. I wanted to melt into him and just cradle him until the sun comes up and he sobers up, but the rational me, the logical me was screaming at me that this is very wrong, we both have someone we care about, Soonyoung more than I. And I won’t start contradicting myself, I refuse to sabotage myself, not this time. So, I gulped down the burning want to just stay like this with Soonyoung, and went to push myself off him. But even when he’s drunk, he has an impeccable force, especially when he’s clinging onto someone.

“You have to let go, Soo.” I spoke softly, knowing he doesn’t react well when he’s drunk and someone is demanding of him. He groaned and gripped onto me even tighter, making me gasp when he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to my neck.

“Soonyoung, please.” I whispered, heart aching. I missed this so much, to be close to him. My time with Joshua was always amazing, he makes me forget about all the suffering I have to go through when I’m alone, and it’s amazing. He makes me feel things I’ve never felt before, not even with Soonyoung, and I think my feelings for Joshua are slowly becoming more and more powerful. I don’t want to lose what I have with him, not when I know Soonyoung will never appreciate me or give me what I need. I braced myself this time and wiggled out of his grasp enough so that I could push his chest back against the sofa. His eyebrows furrowed and he gripped onto my waist as he tried to glare at me.

“You are not going away again.” He muttered, an angry expression crossing his face, and I shook my head. I tried to pry his hands off my waist but he suddenly sat up, our faces very close. So close, his lips were brushing against mine.

“Soonyoung, I can’t—”

“I love you.” The breath was knocked out of my lungs and I paused, eyes wide and heart racing. I searched Soonyoung’s gaze, one he returned feverishly, and I was taken aback by the passion he was showing. He never really shows his genuine feelings, it takes him long time and a lot of coercing for him to open up, even to me. He usually would do it after sex when we’d be laying in bed.

“I—”

“I love you, I really do, Y/N!” His lips started quivering and my own eyes filled with tears as I shook my head. I couldn’t believe he was saying those words to me. Not now, not when I already decided I was over him. Not when I realized I deserved better than him. He can’t offer me what I need, he never would, we just don’t match well. I don’t want to suffer while I’m with him, I’d rather do it alone, I’m already used to that. But I couldn’t help it, he finally said the thing I’ve been wishing to hear for the past year, he loves me.

“I love you too, Soonyoung.” I found myself whispering back and a tear escaped my eye without me realizing. Soonyoung wiped it away, eyes still hazy and mind intoxicated as he leaned his forehead against mine, exhaling deeply. His breath reeked of alcohol but I didn’t care as I closed my eyes and wallowed in the moment. A weight was lifted off my chest, I felt lighter. I wanted to laugh at the feeling, but the dull pain was still there, it didn’t let me actually do it. It was there because it didn’t matter if we loved each other. It was over for us, and Soonyoung won’t even remember this in the morning. He’s too intoxicated.

       After confessing to our feelings, I convinced Soonyoung to go to bed. I lay next to him and traced his face with my fingers delicately, knowing he liked to be caressed, especially when drunk, and that put him to sleep faster. Once I was sure he was asleep, I pulled the covers over him, he changed into a t-shirt he left over a while ago, and left my bedroom. I slept on the couch in the living room, TV on and some horror movie playing, to which I finally fell asleep to. The sun was up high by the time I was up and my heart picked up when I thought I was late to work, but realized I still had two hours. Mrs. Choi had to take care of something so we got to go in later today. As I stretched my hands over my head, back popping, a familiar scent entered my nostrils. I sat up quickly, head spinning a bit as I looked towards the kitchen, a sight I wasn’t expecting greeting me.

“Good morning!” Soonyoung called out cheerily when he saw that I was up, a content smile on his lips. My eyebrows furrowed as I threw the cover off my body and stood up, pulling a bit on my shorts, hoping it would cover up more of my thighs.

“What are you doing?” I asked confused, walking over and sitting at the counter. Soonyoung wore clean clothes, he didn’t reek of alcohol anymore, his hair was still wet from the shower he took. The ends of his black hair were already curling up and I smiled a little as I looked at them for longer, I really like his curly hair. He stopped styling it like this a long time ago, always straightening it, it reminded me of our high school days. He looked softer and warmer back then and even now.

“And good morning.” I added as Soonyoung turned around with a grin and glass in his hand, “What’s that?”

“A little morning treat.” He answered casually as he placed the glass in front of me, the scent of cocoa filling my nose. I laughed as I leaned down and inhaled the scent of the hot cocoa.

“Seriously?” Soonyoung nodded grinning and placed the breakfast in front of me, toast with butter and strawberry jam and omelet. I took the fork he handed me and dug into the food, groaning at the taste, “At least you didn’t burn it this time.”

“I’ve become a good cook over the past two weeks…while you were busy ignoring me…” I threw him a glare and he just shrugged as he picked up a toast with butter and strawberry jam and took a bite. I took a longer glance at him, admiring his beauty. Something in his demeanor changed. He looked relaxed and content, happier than usual.

“What?”

“Nothing.” I mumbled as I finished my breakfast and took a sip of my hot cocoa.

“Slept well on the couch?” A teasing grin was on his lips as he raised one eyebrow, knowing damn well how small the couch is and how one person can barely sleep on it.

“No, asshole.” I threw him a glare as I sipped on the hot cocoa.

“You could’ve just slept with me, there’s plenty of space in your bed…” I paused drinking and glanced at him; his eyes curious as he looked at me.

“Yeah, no, thanks,” I rolled my eyes and finished the hot cocoa, “You burp a lot in your sleep when you’re drunk, it’s disgusting.”

Soonyoung started laughing loudly and he gathered my glass and the plate and fork I used and placed it into my sink, putting away the food that we didn’t eat. I placed an arm on the counter and placed my chin in my palm as I watched him move around my kitchen while humming something to himself.

“Was sleeping on my bed so therapeutic or you’re just really that happy because I’m talking to you again?” I raised my eyebrows as Soonyoung shrugged teasingly, walking up to me but keeping a respectable distance. It made me happy to see him so content and happy, but I couldn’t fully brush away the lingering feelings he caused. The want and ache, they were still there. But I felt better about them, like telling him how I felt, lifted a curse. I was finally free, at least it felt like it. A new room was created for Joshua only in my heart and that made me happy.

“I just really missed you.” Soonyoung said seriously, placing an arm on the counter.

“I missed you too.” I confessed with a smile, which quickly fell when Soonyoung leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. My body instantly reacted to the familiar feeling, tilting my head up for him to have more access, but I caught myself just in time. I quickly pulled away and glared at him, eyebrows furrowed.

“What are you doing!” I demanded angrily, placing a hand on his chest to push him back.

“What do you mean?” His happy demeanor quickly changed; his eyebrows were furrowed too now.

“You have a girlfriend, Soonyoung, if you want to cheat on her go find someone else to do it with!” I snapped and rose from the chair, pointing a finger at him angrily.

“But you love me.” I paused, finger hanging in the air as I bit my lower lip. So, what if he knows? I thought he really wouldn’t remember it, but I don’t care, he knows now and that’s it.

“So, what if I love you?” I scoffed and pushed the finger pointed at him against his chest, “You still have a girlfriend. If you would’ve told me earlier that you loved me, things could’ve turned out differently.”

“What do you mean?” He asked confused as I lowered my finger and ran a hand through my hair.

“I’m over you, or at least trying to be. It doesn’t matter if I love you or not, you are still just my best friend.” Soonyoung’s expression changed in an instant and I didn’t give him time to speak, “I like someone else, a lot. And I want things to work out between him and I, Soonyoung. He treats me right and he likes me as I am. I’m not going to throw away this new chance, like I did a few times before for you. For something you can’t offer me.”

“I can’t offer you what, Y/N?!” He snapped angrily, taking a hold of my jaw, “I know you better than anyone else. I know everything about you, Y/N! What else do you need? I always gave you what you wanted and I was always there for you. You meet this new guy and you’re head over heels for him after a day—”

“Shut up, okay!” I snapped and gripped his wrist, “You don’t know Joshua and you wouldn’t understand! Ever since we reconciled everything has been about you, God damn it! It’s always you, you and you, never me! I’m done feeling like shit because of you! I deserve more and not just someone who uses me for my body!”

“I don’t use you for your body!” Soonyoung screamed back, letting go of my jaw to clench his palm into a tight fist, “I fucking love you! What more do you need?!”

“I never felt loved by you, Soonyoung. Saying it to me isn’t enough, you need to make me feel it!”

“All the times I fucked you gentle, cuddled with you and stayed up to talk about bullshit wasn’t good enough?” I huffed and rolled my eyes as I walked away from him.

“Yeah, it wasn’t enough. If that’s your definition of love, please, go do that with your girlfriend.” I shrugged and Soonyoung’s jaw clenched.

“I don’t—” The doorbell rang and we both turned towards it. I gulped and my eyebrows furrowed. I wasn’t expecting anyone, is it Jihoon? He wouldn’t come by, he’s at work at this hour. Maybe Yerim? She comes over sometimes, but never unannounced. Maybe—Joshua? No…it can’t be…I did give him my address because he’s picking me up tomorrow for our date but he wouldn’t come today as a surprise, right?

“Go get your things,” I snapped at Soonyoung quietly as I walked towards the front door, “I don’t care who it is, you’re leaving!”

“I’m not fucking going anywhere!” He snapped back and I turned around abruptly, face turning red from the anger.

“Don’t try me, Soonyoung.” I hissed and he rolled his eyes, my palm itched to slap him across the face, but I took a deep breath instead and unlocked the front door. I swung it open and my jaw fell. A huge bucket of red roses covered the face and mostly the upper body of the person standing behind it, but I knew who it was.

“Surprise!” His melodic voice echoed a bit in the hallway and my heart started beating fast. Oh no, what will he think when he sees Soonyoung over? He probably won’t know he slept over, right? What if he gets the wrong idea? I can’t lose Joshua right now.

“Jo—Joshua!” I gasped and took the bucket of roses from him, beaconing him inside, “These are—gorgeous!”

Joshua was grinning, his cheeks a light red, as he leaned down at pecked my lips. My heart started beating faster, knowing well he still hasn’t noticed Soonyoung standing behind me.

“I’m glad you like it, I didn’t want to come over unannounced but—” He scratched the back of his neck as he looked down shyly, “I couldn’t help it.”

“What if I wasn’t home?” I chuckled and hugged the roses to my chest.

“I would’ve delivered the roses to your office!” He grinned and I chuckled, cheeks flushing, “But your car was in the driveway, so—”

A throat was cleared behind me and my happy demeanor quickly faded. Shit. Soonyoung will ruin everything.

“Hello there,” Joshua greeted politely once Soonyoung walked up beside me, “You must be…Soonyoung, was it?”

I gulped when Soonyoung slug an arm around my shoulders, a stoic expression on his face as he looked down at the roses. Then suddenly, as if having such a quick change of demeanor was a normal thing, he smiled from ear to ear.

“You are Joshua!” He exclaimed and extended a hand to shake, “I’ve heard a lot about you!”

“Y/N told me a little bit about you too!” Joshua returned the smile and shook Soonyoung’s hand firmly, turning to smile at me. I returned a fake smile and went to the kitchen to get a vase.

“Y/N!” Soonyoung called out, making the hairs stand on my arms. I knew that tone, the teasing tone, when he was about to fuck up something, “I left the final sketch in your bedroom, you should make the order if we want the reception to happen.”

I turned around and gulped, waiting for Joshua to react badly, but he was just glancing around my apartment solemnly, “Yeah, uh—I’ll do that.”

I watched as a smirk crossed his lips and he turned his head and took in Joshua’s body before looking back at me, Joshua oblivious to us as he walked over to a photo frame placed on my bookshelf.

“So classy.” Soonyoung mouthed as I filled the vase with water, working quickly to make Soonyoung go away before he fucks up.

“Soonyoung, you told me your girlfriend asked you to do some grocery shopping on the way home,” I said with a smile as I placed the vase with the roses on the center of the counter and walked towards my friend, “You should go now or else you’ll be late to work, again.”

Soonyoung laughed and grabbed a small bag from the floor, his clothes from the other night inside, “Jihoon is cooking dinner tomorrow, we’ll be waiting for you to join us.”

Liar, Jihoon is working the night shift tomorrow. I sent him a glare but Joshua started walking towards up so I evened out my expression, Joshua coming to a stop next to me.

“Actually,” He spoke up, surprising me, as he placed an arm around my waist, “If you don’t mind, I’ll be stealing your bestie tomorrow night…”

The way Soonyoung’s jaw clenched left a weird satisfaction in me, knowing well ‘bestie’ ticked him off, especially after what went down yesterday and today. Joshua was smiling politely at Soonyoung, but there was a glint in his eyes I didn’t quite understand yet.

“We have a date.” Joshua finally finished his sentence and Soonyoung nodded aggressively.

“Yeah, sure, dude! No problem!” He shrugged and offered me a fake smile, “Have fun tomorrow, but not too much!”

And with a wink he was out of my door, leaving me with Joshua alone. I sighed quietly and leaned into his side, forgetting for a second he didn’t know about anything that went down.

“You good?” He whispered and I turned my head to look up at him with a tired smile.

“I just didn’t get much sleep.” I said with a shrug and he smiled, ruffling my hair a bit.

“I’ll drive you to work today, get ready.” He pulled away from the little embrace and stepped back, “Had breakfast already?”

“Yeah…Soonyoung brought some food…” I lied and Joshua nodded before pointing towards my bathroom.

“You smell like alcohol.” He said with an apologetic smile and I blushed, pulling my hair in a ponytail.

“Sorry, I had too much wine last night…” I lied, again, feeling guiltier and guiltier.

“Don’t worry,” Joshua smiled, winking at me, “We are taking your car to work.”

“Again?” I laughed and Joshua nodded with a sneaky smirk, “I’m starting to think you don’t have a car, Joshua…”

“Uh, about that…” His lips formed a thin line, making me laugh, “It’s in the car service, but it’ll be ready by tomorrow!”

“You’re serious?” I walked towards my bathroom.

“Dead serious!” Joshua called out, making me laugh again as I closed the door. At least he knows how to go around getting free rides.

        Before Joshua dropped me off at work, we went to the coffee shop we had our date at and I bought a cup of coffee for everyone from work, even for Soonyoung. I do this from time to time, I haven’t done it in two weeks so I considered the timing was good. And everyone came in late today, a little coffee wouldn’t hurt anyone right now. Joshua helped me carry up the trays of cups of coffee and with a kiss he was gone, leaving me smiling and blushing in front of the entrance. Taking a deep breath to gather myself a bit, I pushed the door open and greeted everyone with a wide smile.

“I bought coffee for everyone!” I called out loudly and my colleagues called out in appreciation, forming a line to get their coffee.

“Thank you!” Yerim exclaimed loudly as she helped me hold the two trays, “I really fucking needed it.”

“As if we didn’t come to work later than usual.” I threw her an amused smile as Wendy, another co-worker, took her coffee with a wide smile and a ‘thank you’.

“Exactly!” Yerim’s eye widened, a very ‘duh’ expression covering her face, “You think I went to bed early? No, fucking, way! I was out partying last night!”

“Explains why you look like a zombie…” I muttered quietly, thinking Yerim wouldn’t hear me as Baekhyun’s, a very annoying but sweet co-worker, laughter flooded our ears. But Yerim heard me and she threw me a glare.

“I’m always fabulous, even when I look like a zombie.”

“True.” Baekhyun said with a shrug before strolling back to his desk, making Yerim throw her long blonde hair back. I chuckled and shook my head, grabbing the next cup and handing it to Chan before he could reach for it.

“Thank you!” He beamed at me, eyes lighting up, “I didn’t get my doze of caffeine yet today.”

“Slept in?” I asked with a smile and Chan nodded his head with a chuckle.

“Cute.” Yerim muttered while biting her lip, making Chan and I look at her, “What?”

“Uh—nothing!” Chan exclaimed embarrassed, about to walk away, but I held onto his arm.

“Hey, uhm…can I ask you something?” I asked quietly, smiling apologetically at Chan as he nodded, “You know about the reception happening in two weeks…if I send you the details, can you find me a place?”

“Aren’t you working with Soonyoung though?” Chan’s eyebrows furrowed as Yerim gave me a look, handing Hana a cup of coffee.

“I mean…something came up and he’s busy with other things…uh—so, can you help me out?” I offered him a small smile, in hopes he would say yes, and Chan seemed to be thinking for a moment.

“I mean, I can help you, of course! But I have a lot of work to do and I might be able to do by the end of the week only…and I know you need it, like, today…” I sighed as Chan grimaced, avoiding my eyes. It’s not his fault though, I understand him.

“Yeah, don’t worry, I should have asked you sooner!” I tried to cheer him up and reassure him, and he nodded with his lips in a tight line.

“So…can you wait until the end of the week—”

“Last time I checked; I was the one working with you.” Soonyoung’s raspy voice interrupted Chan, coming from behind me. I tensed up as Yerim and Chan were now looking at us questioningly. I took mentally a deep breath and then turned around, three more cups of coffee remaining on my tray.

“Maybe your girlfriend forgot to brew you some coffee this morning, Soonyoung.” I joked with a sarcastic tone and Soonyoung just chuckled, eyes narrowing as he grabbed a cup of coffee from the tray.

“Yeah, she was busy doing other things.” He smirked before taking a large gulp of the coffee, keeping eye contact with me. In my peripheral vision, I saw Yerim’s eyebrows raising as she looked between us. Chan cleared his throat and I glanced back at him.

“So, then…I guess you’ll be working with Soonyoung again…”

“Actually, no—”

“Yes, Chan.” Soonyoung cut me off, a charming smile on his lips, “I got a tight schedule and I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it, but it’s all solved now.”

“Oh, great!” Chan exclaimed with a big smile, “I’m really busy this week…”

“Sorry for the confusion, Chan.” I apologized, throwing Soonyoung a subtle glare, knowing well Yerim was watching us like hawks.

“Don’t worry,” He offered us one more smile, “I’ll be off to work then.”

Yerim smiled flirty at Chan before he could walk away, flustering the younger boy once again. She turned to look at me with an amused giggle and I shook my head, ignoring Soonyoung’s eyes boring into the side of my head.

“He’s so cute,” Yerim mused quietly, eyebrows raising, “Who was that handsome guy you came with today, Y/N?”

I looked at Yerim with a warning look, not wanting to discuss anything about Joshua with Soonyoung there, today’s morning being enough for me. But Yerim ignored my warning and silent plea, like she usually does, and raised her eyebrows even higher.

“Oh, Joshua drove you here?!” Soonyoung exclaimed next to me, face lighting up suddenly. I turned to look at him, eyebrows furrowed, but he ignored me as he looked at Yerim, “He’s a real gentleman, so classy…”

“Yeah, exactly.” I snapped, glaring at him again, “He’s kind and gentle, unlike you—someone.”

Yerim’s eyes narrowed at us as she took a sip of her coffee, looking at us with suspicion, “Okay, besties, I’ve got some work to do as well…”

“We are not besties—” Soonyoung growled as Yerim walked away, not caring to listen if we had anything else to say. I scoffed and chuckled quietly, enjoying how triggered Soonyoung looked. He always hated us being called besties, but ever since the whole friends with benefits thing happened, he really detested it. He even threatened Jihoon once when he dared to call us that.

“Why did you ask Chan to do my work, Y/N?” Soonyoung’s glare was directed at me, voice low as we were still in the front lobby, everyone could hear and see us.

“Because if I remember correctly, I gave you a deadline that you didn’t respect!” I snapped back, stepping closer to make sure the others couldn’t see our faces that well. We didn’t need them to know about how much our friendship was going to shit. I think it became obvious that there was something wrong the second I stopped interacting with Soonyoung so much, or when he slammed the door to my office so hard, I thought he’d break the whole wall.

“You are not the boss here, and I told you that wasn’t enough time for me to find something!” Soonyoung spoke quickly, nostrils flaring as his jaw clenched. His grip on the cup of coffee was tightening and he was probably close to snapping it in half, so I gripped his wrist, hating the butterflies that erupted in my stomach and how the back of my neck felt hot.

“Maybe if last night you didn’t get shitfaced and actually did some work, I wouldn’t have asked for Chan’s help.” I snapped, but my eyes softened, trying to calm him down. He was a calm man, but when you ticked him off, he left only destruction in his wake. And we didn’t need that happening at the office, especially in the front lobby.

“I will do it by tonight.” Soonyoung’s voice softened and suddenly the wrist I was holding twisted, gripping my palm into his. I gulped and looked down at our hands, shaking my head.

“Please, do it.” I muttered, hating the way my eyes fell on his lips when he licked them. Soonyoung saw it too and a grunt left his lips before he was stepping back, running a hand through his, now straight, black hair.

“You always make such a scene out of everything.” He said with a shake of his head, taking another sip of his coffee.

“I do not!” I scoffed and rolled my eyes, placing down the tray on the little table by the entrance, “And you are a dickhead, Soonyoung.”

“I know…” His voice was small and I looked back at him, a dark look crossing over his features. I sighed and turned around, mouth open to tell him to get to work, when a lady spoke up.

“You two should be working.” Mrs. Choi’s eyebrows were raised, lips in a playful pout, and Soonyoung smiled.

“Mrs. Choi! Fancy seeing you this beautiful morning, not more beautiful than you, of course.” Soonyoung made a spectacle as he took Mrs. Choi’s hand and placed a soft kiss on it, waltzing away with a wink directed at me. I sighed and handed Mrs. Choi the last cup of coffee.

“Good morning, I bought some coffee for everyone today.” I said quietly, avoiding eye contact with the older lady.

“Thank you, my dear,” She smiled as she took the cup, gripping it with both hands, “Is everything alright? I haven’t seen your plans about the upcoming reception and Soonyoung said you kept postponing the meeting for the past two weeks.”

I gulped and bit my lower lip, feeling embarrassed and guilty, “I did, yes, and I apologize for stalling. It’s just…I went through something and…I will solve this issue, I promise! I trust that Soonyoung will find the right location by tonight and then I can put everything into action.”

“I’m not worried about you making this work, you’ve worked in worse conditions before, my dear. I just don’t like seeing you sad and always grumpy, especially if it’s caused by a man.” I looked up at Mrs. Choi surprised, finding her smiling at me gently.

“Uh, right—I, uh, have a question!” I tried to divert the subject, knowing well the old lady had eyes and ears everywhere. I wouldn’t be surprised if she knew about everyone’s private life from the office, “This Saturday…can I bring a plus one? To the barbeque?”

“Of course!” Mrs. Choi exclaimed with a laugh, “The more, the merrier! We can split the bill even better!”

“I thought you were paying…” I muttered with a cheeky smile and Mrs. Choi laughed, shaking her head.

“Don’t disappoint me this time with your choice in men,” She said with a wink, sipping from her coffee, “Soonyoung wasn’t made for you, my dear.”

My jaw fell open as I gaped at Mrs. Choi, trying to come up quickly with something to deny her affirmation but by the time I thought of something, she walked away, leaving me alone and gaping. I cleared my throat and closed my mouth when Baekhyun looked up from his desk, eyebrows raised and mouth in an amused grin, looking at me questioningly. I shooed him off with a flick of my wrist and quickly fished my phone out of my purse as I took of towards my office. I dialed Joshua’s number and prayed he was available, on the fifth rang he picked up.

“Missed me already?” Came his teasing through the phone. I scoffed as I took a sip of my coffee quickly.

“You wish, do you have time to talk?” I asked, opening the door of my office.

“If you make it quick, yes.”

“You know, how I’m busy this Saturday…” Joshua hummed and I continued talking with a smile on my face, “Are you busy this Saturday?”

“Uhm…not really, no.” Came his confused answer, no doubt he was frowning now.

“Well, then I just made you busy!” I exclaimed, laughing alone as Joshua remained silent and even more confused on the other end.

“Uhm, care to explain, hon?” My cheeks became hot at the use of his nickname for me and I giggled quietly.

“I’m going to a barbeque with my colleagues, and you are invited too now!”

“Really?!” Joshua asked excitedly and I laughed.

“Really!”

“Okay, cool! We’ll talk later then, but if you need confirmation, I am coming!”

“Of course, you are! But it doesn’t count as our third date!” I spoke quickly, knowing he had to hang up.

“Of course not, hon, talk to you later!”

“See you, Shua!” I hang up with a big smile, taking a seat in my chair, melting away into it. Ah, the things Joshua makes me feel!

        Saturday rolled around quickly, our little cycling date on Wednesday went even better than we were expecting it. This time it was Joshua who drove us around, his car finally out of the service, and I even attempted to pull the same joke he usually did, and drive him home in his own car but, of course, he didn’t let me. He wanted to make sure I got home safely as night has fallen by the time, we finished eating at a local noodle restaurant. On Saturday, we agreed that I would come by his place first and then we’d drive together to the barbeque restaurant, as he lived closer to the place and we wanted to save some fuel. I chose to wear a black turtleneck and a denim dress over it, with black tights and knee-high boots, a thick denim jacket shielding me from the evening breeze. My black purse matched my turtleneck and I painted my lips red, applied some mascara and a little bit of blush to my cheeks. I brushed my hair and let the waves fall freely over my shoulders, clipping the front strands behind my ears. It was the first time Joshua would see me truly dressed up, not that I put much effort into my looks. Last date we went cycling, so I couldn’t wear anything fancy, and on our first date we both wore working attire. And well…the night we met, I was almost wearing my pajamas, so it doesn’t count. I was curious of Joshua’s everyday style, wondering if he dressed as fancy as he acted. He was a gentleman after all. I gave him a text when I reached his apartment complex and he was downstairs in three minutes. A big smile on his lips, eyes running over my body, as he jogged up to me. I giggled when he reached me and I threw my arms around, snuggling my chin into his shoulder, making sure I didn’t smudge my lipstick nor dirty his cream-colored coat. He wore dark grey dress pants that reached his ankles and I could make out a soft green turtleneck peeking out from underneath his coat. His light brown hair wasn’t as messy as usual and it had a nice middle part.

“Wow, Joshua!” I mused as I made him twirl around, “You look so fancy!”

“And you look breathtaking.” He said, his voice a bit deeper than usual, taking me by surprise. My cheeks heated up and I pouted as he leaned in.

“My lipstick—!” But Joshua didn’t care as he pressed his lips against mine softly, barely even touching them together.

“You can redo it later, let me give you a kiss!” He murmured against my lips and I grinned, pulling back.

“Maybe when we come back from the barbeque.” Joshua’s eyebrows furrowed and I giggled as I took the car key from his hand.

“Maybe?” He asked wondering, shaking his head a bit, “I don’t think that will work.”

“No?” I raised my eyebrows as I took off towards the parking lot.

“No,” He shook his head firmly, walking after me, “I will need my kiss, right now, and later too.”

I laughed and got into the driver’s seat before he could, claiming it as Joshua shook his head outside the car.

“I was supposed to drive tonight.”

“On the way back!” I grinned and he sighed before getting in, putting on his seatbelt.

“So…where is my kiss?” He asked, lips jutted out, as he turned towards me. I scoffed and leaned over the middle to give him a firm peck. He hummed contently, closing his eyes as I turned back around, turning the engine on.

The ride to the barbeque place was quick and filled with Joshua telling one of his stories about pranking Jeonghan, once again. These two were little devils and wrecked-havoc everywhere they went. On our cycling date Jeonghan actually turned up and tagged along for half an hour, even though Joshua made it clear that he should just leave us alone, but with a sneaky wink towards me, Jeonghan rode his bike along with ours. The man was nice and pleasant to hang out with, so I didn’t mind him tagging along. At least I got insight on Joshua through one of his friends. And I was pleased with the person he seemed to be. Truly, Joshua was a fresh breath of air to me. I don’t know what I did to find him, but I was sure that I’m not letting go of him.

“Are you sure about this?” Joshua spoke up as I parked the car, struggling a bit, his car being bigger than mine.

“Sure, about what?” I asked absentmindedly as I focused on not hitting the two cars I was parking in between.

“Me coming with you, I mean…we only went on two dates. You’ve known me for a week only, don’t you think…we are taking it too fast?” I paused, hitting the brake a bit harsher, sending us forward.

“Do you think we are taking it too fast?” I asked quietly, a bit afraid of his answer. Because I don’t think we are, the most we did was little pecks here and there. I felt alright presenting him to my co-workers and few friends, even if it’s been a week. I’ve never been so certain about someone before.

“I, personally, don’t think so. I just—want to make sure you don’t feel pressured or—”

“Joshua!” I turned toward him wide eyed, “If I didn’t want you to be here with me right now, you wouldn’t be, trust me. Two dates and a week of knowing each other, I—I don’t actually know, this feeling is really new to me. But I want it, I’m certain about it…about us?”

A smile spread on Joshua’s lips slowly and he placed a hand on mine, giving it a squeeze, “Okay, because I really fucking like you a lot.”

I started laughing, being the first time Joshua has sworn in front of me, and squeezed his hand back, “You should park the car now, I think we are making a line behind us…”

“Shit…” I muttered, quickly parking the car, making sure I didn’t hit the others, as Joshua just chuckled. Once we got out Joshua intertwined his fingers with mine and my cheeks turned a little red as I giggled, like a crazy girl, squeezing his hand playfully. He chuckled and glanced at me while leading the way inside. My heart was thumping in my chest as we neared the long table full of my co-workers, and few friends, unsure of their reactions. Only Mrs. Choi knew of my arrival with Joshua, and I truly feared how Soonyoung would react. For sure he would find some way to ruin it, I know him too well.

The chatter from their table was loud but when we arrived next to Mrs. Choi, everyone fell silent. I cleared my throat as Joshua gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Hi, everyone!” I greeted, voice a bit higher than usual, “Uh, this is—my boyfriend, Joshua.”

Cheers and greetings broke out from the table, Baekhyun already tipsy as he rose from his seat with a shot in his hand and cheered the loudest, meanwhile I felt two eyes boring into my face. One was coming from the man holding my hand and the other one from the man sitting at the head of the table, across from Mrs. Choi. I turned towards Joshua, a nervous smile on my lips, knowing well calling him my boyfriend took him off guard. I hope I didn’t screw up things, but as Joshua continued to remain silent my heart started hammering in fear. Did I say the wrong thing? But how was I supposed to introduce him? Especially when we arrived together and even holding hands. Before I could think about it even more, a huge grin appeared on Joshua’s face and he started quietly cooing as he pulled my head into his chest. I quickly sucked my lips in, making sure I didn’t dirty his cream-colored coat with my red lipstick, feeling embarrassed as Baekhyun whistled loudly.

“Come sit, love birds!” Yerim’s loud, shrill, voice called out for us. She was sitting close to Soonyoung, two seats empty on her right. The one who would sit at the end of the table would be basically next to Soonyoung. Before we could walk to Yerim, however, Mrs. Choi was on her feet, a warm smile on her lips.

“Good evening, welcome!” She greeted us and patted my cheek once Joshua freed me from his hold, “I see my dear Y/N decided to bring someone along. Who are you, young man?”

“Hong Joshua, Mrs. …”

“Choi Seunghee.” My boss introduced herself and Joshua bowed politely.

“Mrs. Choi, nice to meet you!”

“You too, Mr. Hong—” Mrs. Choi’s eyes landed on me and she winked, “Lovely choice, my dear.”

My cheeks flushed and I groaned quietly as Joshua chuckled and nodded once, before pulling me towards Yerim, who was waving us over aggressively.

“Thank, fucking, God!” She exclaimed once we were by her side, “My arm was about to fall off!”

“Well why were you continuously waving?” I asked laughing as Joshua helped me take my jacket off, “It’s not like we can sit anywhere else…”

“I’m just being a good friend, don’t lecture me about it.” Yerim said with a pout as I threw her a playful glare, holding my jacket so that Joshua could take his own coat off.

“Yeah, whatever,” Yerim rolled her eyes, eyeing Joshua as he went to take our jackets to the hanger, “Damn, classy but sexy as fuck.”

“Yerim!” I hissed, eyes widening as Joshua walked back, a warm smile on his face.

“I’m Kim Yerim!” She introduced herself, standing up and extending her hand. She was wearing a dark green dress, body fitting, for once reached bellowed her knees and had a turtleneck. I see everyone went for a turtleneck tonight.

“Hong Joshua, nice to meet you.” Joshua shook her hand delicately, smiling when Yerim grinned at me.

“A foreigner too!” She winked at me, eyes running over Joshua again, “Nice catch, bitch.”

My mouth fell open as Joshua started laughing loudly, covering it with his hand once he realized he was really loud. I threw him a glare before I pulled on Yerim’s straightened hair, earning a hiss from her.

“Watch your language, Kim Yerim!” I snapped, feeling embarrassed, as I took a quick seat beside her. I forgot about Soonyoung’s existence, but it didn’t last for long, when I heard Joshua greeting him.

“Good to see you made it.” He spoke monotonously, lips in a tight line. He wasn’t even trying to hide his displeasure and I threw him a warning glare.

“Good evening, Soonyoung.” I greeted him; expression neutral as he bowed before downing his shot in one go.

“Want to drink?” He raised his glass of Soju to Joshua.

“Not tonight, I’m the designated driver,” He said with an apologetic smile, “Next time.”

“Next time.” That made Soonyoung smirk as he sent me a wink, downing another shot. I sighed quietly, opening the can of soda in front of me, eyes accidentally catching Baekhyun’s.

“Eyo, I thought you ditched us!” He said loudly, smile lopsided.

“And miss seeing you drunk?” I laughed, taking a sip of the soda, “Never, Baekhyun, never.”

Baekhyun giggled and raised his glass of Soju in salute before taking a big gulp.

“So, Joshua!” Yerim exclaimed, making me go deaf for a few seconds, “What do you do? How do you earn money? How did you charm Y/N? What are your hobbies? Tell me everything!”

“Take it easy, Yerim,” I said with a snort, hand finding Joshua’s underneath the table, “I forgot to tell him how energetic and tiring you can be.”

“Ah, I know someone just like her…” Joshua mused, eyes glinting with mischief and I laughed, shaking my head.

“Jeonghan.” We chorused at the same time, making Yerim raise her eyebrows and Soonyoung frown at us.

“Hmm, his name doesn’t sound bad. Is he handsome?” Yerim asked, lips forming a pout.

“Yah, Kim Yerim!” Came Chan’s loud exclamation, he was sitting next to Wendy, two seats away from Baekhyun who was across from me, “You’re trying to find yourself a new man?!”

“Yes, do you have a problem with that?!” Yerim snapped back, eyebrows raising in a challenging way.

“Yes, I do!” Chan snapped back, lips jutting out as he stared back at Yerim.

“Then stop being a pussy and ask me out!” Yerim’s statement made the table go silent, and she blushed. Kim Yerim was actually blushing! I started laughing loudly and soon the others followed, well except for Yerim and Chan; and Soonyoung; who were staring at each other intently.

“Ah, to be young and in love…” Mrs. Choi mused from the head of the table, making Yerim glare at her.

“Who’s in love? I’m not!” She was quick to defend herself, throwing Chan a subtle glance. But Chan was focused on glaring at his bottle of Soju, ears red. I giggled to myself and Joshua squeezed my hand underneath the table, making me look at him. He grinned down at me and I blushed, scrunching my nose at him.

“Those two definitely are.” Wendy said with a sweet smile, nodded her towards us, making me blush further. I groaned as Joshua, once again, pulled my head against his chest, and rested his chin on top of my head.

“Yeah, we might be…” He sing-songed, making me pinch his hip just a bit, “Oh, come on, don’t be shy now.”

“Shut up.” I snapped and pulled away with a small glare, my eyes catching Soonyoung’s in the process. His jaw was clenched and he glared at me, downing another shot of his Soju. I couldn’t help but worry, watching as he did that three more times, finishing his first bottle of the night.

“Soonyoung…” I called out, Joshua was playing absentmindedly with my fingers as he conversed with Baekhyun, “Take it easy…”

Soonyoung’s head snapped up and he looked into my eyes, licking his lips, “What do you care?”

I rolled my eyes and glanced at Joshua to see if he was paying attention to us, but he wasn’t, so I lowered my voice knowing Soonyoung will hear me, “I do, okay? You are my best friend!”

“Yeah…” He chuckled bitterly as he opened up another bottle of Soju, “Best friend.”

“I mean it.” I snapped, eyes glaring at him as he just shrugged.

“Thanks for worrying about me, bestie,” He faked a grin and gulped half of the Soju down, “But I can handle myself.”

“I won’t be driving you home if you get shitfaced.” I warned him, becoming aware of Joshua glancing at me more often.

“Don’t worry, my girlfriend will make sure to pick me up this time.” I scoffed and gulped down the remark I had for him, instead looked up at Joshua to see him frowning at us. I have to tell him after tonight what’s been happening between Soonyoung and I. He deserves to know. Maybe he can help me out even with some advice, I don’t even know anymore.

“Are you okay, hon?” He asked quietly, eyebrows furrowed as he searched my face.

“Of course!” I offered him a small smile, then nudged Yerim, “Wanna hear the answers you were so eager for?”

“Fuck yeah!” Yerim slammed her Soju bottle down, spilling a bit on the table, as she leaned closer in, captivated once Joshua started talking. That’s how I felt every time I was with Joshua, utterly captivated. Like it was just us, no one and nothing else in the world. It was new and weird. It was something I enjoyed and craved, it felt amazing.

Somewhere halfway through, Yerim and I excused ourselves to the restroom, Yerim complaining about having to pee after she drank three bottles of Soju. The food was almost done by that time, everyone having eaten well and now we were just drinking the rest of the drinks and sharing stories. Mrs. Choi said she didn’t want to stay until very late, her son having to pick her up and he had classes tomorrow, so we decided to stay until midnight instead of late night, like usually we do. Yerim and I took quite a while, her having to make sure her whole makeup looked presentable, rambling about how she was going home with Chan tonight even if she had to force him. Something I’m sure she won’t have to do; Chan’s been eyeing her all night after she told him to ask her out. It was quite obvious Chan had a crush on Yerim, everyone knew, but no one expected Yerim to reciprocate the feelings. She was always after Soonyoung, barely batting an eyelash at Chan. And it’s not like the others know Soonyoung has a girlfriend, he hasn’t told anyone besides me and Jihoon. When we made it back to our table, Joshua had a neutral expression and Soonyoung was smirking as he leaned back in his chair, an accomplished look crossing his face. I gulped as I took my seat and tapped Joshua’s thigh, asking if he was feeling alright. Deep down, I knew Soonyoung told him something and that’s why his demeanor changed, but I hoped I was wrong and Joshua was just tired and Soonyoung just said one of his lame jokes to which Joshua had a good reaction. But when Soonyoung raised his fifth bottle of Soju, already drunk, and called loudly ‘cheers’ while never breaking eye contact with me, I knew he said something to Joshua. Something I didn’t want him to know, at least, not yet. Joshua, however, was quick to reassure me and say that he was tired and wanted to head home earlier if it wasn’t a problem for me. And it wasn’t, we quickly took on our coat and jacket, wished the others a good night and left the barbeque restaurant. My heart was hammering, cheeks a bit red from one bottle of Soju, and I was surprised when Joshua’s fingers intertwined with mine as we walked towards his car. No one said nothing, Joshua seemed deep in thought meanwhile I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know what happened that ruined his mood so quickly. He opened the door for me once we reached his car, and I thanked him quietly as I sat inside. Joshua was quickly inside the car as well, starting the engine to generate warmth. We put our seatbelts on and Joshua turned the radio down for quiet background noise as he started driving. I gulped and bit my lower lip, trying to find a way to ask him if Soonyoung said anything to him, without spoiling much.

“Are you okay?” I decided on asking, placing one hand gently on his thigh. He tensed up and I felt a pang in my heart as I quickly retracted my arm, clearing my throat. However, he quickly gripped my wrist and held it for a second.

“I’m not mad at you, please relax.” He spoke up calmly, thumb rubbing over the skin of my wrist. I let out a shaky breath, now knowing certainly that Soonyoung told him something he wasn’t supposed to.

“What—” I took a shaky breath, “What did Soonyoung tell you?”

Joshua was quiet for a second as he took a left turn, not rushing as he drove below the speed limit, “Enough to piss me off, honestly, but not enough to push me away from you.”

“I’m so sorry,” I sighed out, looking down at my lap, “You deserve to know, but we’ve barely been on our second date and I—I didn’t want to tell you anything yet, I just didn’t think it was the right timing, you know? What was I even supposed to tell you? That I—”

“The reason why it pissed me off, is because it wasn’t his call to make. You were supposed to tell me once you felt ready and not Soonyoung to spite me,” Joshua took a deep breath and threw me a quick glance, “I don’t give a shit that you two were friends with benefits, Y/N, calm down, okay?”

I took a shaky breath and bit my lower lip, “Joshua, I’m—in love with Soonyoung.”

The silence was deadly and my heart was hammering in my chest, but Joshua’s thumb never stopped caressing the skin of my wrist, not even after I said those words.

“But I like you, very, very much. And I want to be with you, not Soonyoung. It took me so long to realize he’s not good for me, that he could never offer me what I need. Soonyoung is—not a good person. He was a good friend, and still is sometimes, but when it comes to relationships, he—doesn’t know what those mean. I don’t want to be with him, yes, I still love him but God! I’m doing everything I can to get over him and…it’s working. It’s hard and it takes time, but it’s working, Joshua. I’m slowly, but surely, falling for you. Even if it’s too early to say that, I feel it. You are so amazing, I never even dared to dream of someone like you! You respect me and bring out the best in me, make me laugh until my stomach hurts and make me feel things I never even knew I could feel. You are special, Joshua.”

I wasn’t even sure Joshua was paying attention to my rant, but by the time I finished, we arrived in front of my apartment complex. My heart was beating fast and I was scared to look at Joshua as he stopped the car, head turning towards me. If I were him, I knew I’d be furious and feeling like I got fucked over. That’s what scares me, what if he leaves me right now? How do I get over that? Losing two men I care about is too harsh.

“I know falling out of love can be a hard process, but I sure as hell haven’t seen someone before trying so hard to do it,” He chuckled and my eyebrows became relaxed a bit, “I understand you and I respect you. Thank you for telling me, even if I had to find out this way, I think you would’ve still told me. I have to be honest; I’m not pleased to know you love other man, but who would be? But I see how you act around me, and I don’t know how you used to act around Soonyoung, but I know that you simply radiate when you are with me. And you make me feel warm and full, always tugging at my heartstrings without even doing anything. I choose to trust you, Y/N. Prove me right, please.”

The sudden relieved laugh that left my lips was loud in the car and it brought a smile on Joshua’s lips, I felt like I could breathe again. My heart slowly returned to its natural rhythm as Joshua and I stared into each other’s eyes.

“Thank you, for trusting me.” I whispered and closed my eyes when he pressed his forehead against mine.

“Thank you, for making room for me in your heart.” A wide smile spread on my lips and I pressed my lips against Joshua’s softly, his cherry-colored lips pushing back just as gently. There was nothing hungry behind the kiss, only genuine feelings being poured into it, as our lips moved slowly. I wanted this moment to last forever, I wanted to ask Joshua to come up with me, but it was too soon. We decided in taking things slowly, if I called him up right now, that would change a lot. And we are not there yet, I’m not ready for that yet.

“So…” Joshua’s lips pulled up into a mischievous smirk once we pulled back from the kiss, “I’m your boyfriend, huh?”

I chuckled and shrugged, “Guess you are.”

“Good.” He breathed out and I leaned in to press another soft kiss against his lips before I went upstairs.

“Good night!” He called out as he rolled his window down, sending me a flying kiss. I caught it and pretended to press it where my heart was, putting it away and keeping it in a safe place.

“Good night!” I called back and quickly rushed inside the building, racing up the stairs to my apartment. It wasn’t the most pleasant thing to be in the stairway late at night. Once inside my apartment, I closed and locked the front door, leaning over it. I was feeling ecstatic from that kiss and the word exchanges Joshua and I had, but then suddenly rage over took me. And I knew how I would spend my early morning tomorrow.

       It was early in the morning when I got up, the rage I felt towards Soonyoung didn’t let me rest much. Even as I cooked myself some breakfast, I found myself throwing everything around loudly and then feeling sorry for my neighbors, it was an early Sunday morning after all. After eating my breakfast, I took a shower in hopes that it would ease my tense muscles and angry thoughts, but it just fueled all the mean things I had to say to Soonyoung. After all, we all know in the shower come the mightiest ideas and arguments. After getting dressed, I took the car keys and off I was to Soonyoung and Jihoon’s apartment. Due to it being early, and a Saturday, traffic was almost none and I made it to their apartment in 10 minutes, a ride that on a normal day would take twenty minutes. I glanced at the clock and decided to go upstairs, knowing well hungover Soonyoung always got up at 6 am to nurse his headache, cook himself breakfast, and then go on a run to clear up his head. Besides, I wasn’t just here to put him in his place, I was here to hand him back their apartment key and ask for mine back. So, without second thoughts, once I reached their front door, I unlocked the door and barged inside. The apartment was quiet, Jihoon was still asleep as he had the nightshift last night, probably made it back home two or three hours ago so I was already feeling bad for waking him probably once Soonyoung and I start arguing. I heard some muffled noises coming from Soonyoung’s room, so I knew he was up. Taking a deep breath and rolling my shoulders a few times, I marched towards it and barged inside. The sight that greeted me wasn’t something I was expecting. Not now, not in a million years. Eyes wide, I turned back around and slammed the door closed, praying that it didn’t wake Jihoon. I heard a few groans and some mumbled words as I walked away from Soonyoung’s room, taking deep breaths. A girl, his girlfriend no doubt, with her mouth deep down Soonyoung’s dick. Both of their eyes went wide when I barged in, Soonyoung’s darkened a lot more once he realized it was me and not Jihoon. I didn’t see the girl’s reaction as I slammed the door closed, and now I was pacing up and down in the kitchen, reaching for a glass to pour some water into it. How am I going to do this? With his girlfriend over? I don’t want to drag her into this mess, I know she doesn’t know, and I don’t want her to find out either. I’m not like Soonyoung. If it was just Jihoon here, I wouldn’t have cared, he already knew everything. Just as I downed the glass of water, Soonyoung’s bedroom door was opened and the black-haired girl tiptoed out, long hair in a high ponytail now.

“Uh—Hi.” I greeted quietly and she gulped as she looked away embarrassed, “Uh—sorry, for barging in like that, I—”

“Yeah, uh—just forget about it?” The girl asked as she played around with the towel in her hands, “I’m Soonyoung’s girlfriend, Yuna, nice to meet you.”

“Y/N, nice to meet you too.” We nodded our heads at each other a little as the girl tried to smile at me but failed.

“Yeah, you’re Soonyoung’s friend—anyways, I’ll be taking a shower. See you later?” She headed for the bathroom door and I muttered quietly after her a ‘See you later’. As the bathroom door closed, out came Soonyoung from his room wearing his black sweatpants and a white t-shirt. His face was still swollen and his hair sticking out in every direction. He stood at the entrance of the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest as he watched me with a glare, a glare I returned fiercely.

“What?” He finally snapped like nothing happened yesterday, a glint of amusement filling his eyes.

“Don’t act like Saint Marry, Soonyoung!” I snapped, jaw clenching as the rage I’ve felt all night long flooded my body, “You have the fucking audacity to even ask ‘What?’ when you almost ruined my relationship with Joshua?!”

“Ah,” Soonyoung laughed quietly, “The one-week long relationship? Are you sure that’s a relationship? Maybe he just likes the way you suck his dick—”

“Don’t even talk about Joshua like that!” I snapped, making sure my voice remained low enough that it wouldn’t wake Jihoon, if he wasn’t awake already, nor would it reach Yuna’s ears.

“Oh, look at that! Defending him like you’re his little puppy—”

“Fuck you, Soonyoung! You’re a piece of shit!” I snapped, slamming the apartment keys down on the counter, “I want my fucking keys back, now.”

“No.”

“No? I don’t think so.” I snapped and glared at him as I went to walk past him, but Soonyoung grabbed me by my upper arm and pulled me back, hips pinning me between him and the counter.

“You can’t take the keys back.” He muttered lowly, his glare boring into my own.

“Those aren’t yours, to begin with, I am taking them back.” I went to push Soonyoung away but he grabbed my jaw tightly and forced my head to stay in place. I hissed at him and tried to swat at his hand, but he raised his eyebrows in warning.

“Just admit you’re here because you miss fucking me.” A shit eating grin spread over his lips and my palms turned into fists, ready to punch him any second now.

“I’m here, to tell you, that you are a scumbag, Soonyoung. I knew you played unfair your whole life, but telling Joshua we used to fuck? That was really low, Soonyoung. You proved that you’re a trash person deep down. You have a girlfriend but you go around being jealous? Trying to destroy your best friend’s relationship? When she’s finally happy?!”

“You just think you’re happy with Joshua, Y/N, but you aren’t really.” He growled, grip tightening on my jaw, making me hiss.

“Sure,” I scoffed, nodding my head, “Go ahead and tell me how I feel, right. Because you know! You! Not me!”

“You’ve only known him for a week, God damn it! You’ve known me for almost ten years! Can’t you see I’m right for you, Y/N? Who knows you like I do? No one else! I grew up with you, I was there to support you through everything! Through every heart break and every successful date! Y/N, I love you truly! Unlike Joshua who doesn’t even know you!” His voice started raising and he was breathing hard and I whined, gripping his wrist when his grip became unbearable on my jaw. If he was going to keep on squeezing, he would bruise it and I don’t want to go around lying to people.

“Well unlike Joshua, who doesn’t even know me! He’s the one who made me feel truly happy and heard and seen ever since we’ve reconciled, Soonyoung! I always felt so drained being with you. It was always about you! About making you satisfied, about making you happy, about supporting you no matter what, about bending myself to everything you wanted because I wasn’t important. Not as important as you, at least.” His grip softened but he didn’t let go, he was slowly shaking his head no, “You are afraid of letting go because I’m something safe, something you know. Something you can come back to. I know new things scare you, Soonyoung, but we are over. I don’t love you.”

“That’s a lie!” Soonyoung scoffed and rolled his eyes, giving me the moment to push his grip off my jaw, “You love me and I love you. Understand that already!”

“No, you don’t love me. Not like I did, anyways. My body is what you love, the way I made you feel and the way I would always bend to your likes. I broke myself down so that you could build yourself up, and you knew all along what you were doing, Soonyoung. And I knew, deep down I did, but I was blinded by my foolish love and selflessness. That’s not happening anymore, understand?”

But Soonyoung just kept shaking his head, “No, bullshit. I—love you!”

I bit my lower and realized pouring my heart out to him, about everything he made me feel made the dull ache disappear. It was like I felt nothing now when I looked at him.

“Stay away from Joshua and I, understand? Don’t make me take drastic measures, Soonyoung, because I will. You know I will!” I warned Soonyoung, wriggling out of his hold, “Whatever we ever had, takes an end, right now. After I leave this apartment, we are just co-workers. After we are done with this reception, we won’t work together unless Mrs. Choi or the project demands us to. We can’t be friends anymore, not after you broke my trust and respect like that. It was my job to tell Joshua we were friends with benefits, not yours!”

Soonyoung’s lips quivered as he stared at me hopelessly, a humorless laugh leaving his lips, “You really care that much about him? After a week?”

“You have no idea,” I whispered, looking away from him as seeing him so broken didn’t sit well with me, “He makes me feel like no one else.”

“And I couldn’t do that?” He whispered quietly; eyes trained on the kitchen floor.

“No.” I muttered, gulping and taking a deep breath, “Tell Jihoon I’m sorry if we woke him up and that I’m sorry I couldn’t properly say goodbye, but maybe we’ll see each other from time to time. Next time dinner will be on me, if I see him.”

Soonyoung sniffed once and then looked up and nodded, walking past me. I watched him as he reached inside his jacket’s pocket and pulled out multiple keys. He detached one set and turned around, walked up to me and placed the keys in my hands. The keychain, the little turtle that I gifted him in our first year of college, broke my heart. I looked up at Soonyoung with teary eyes and he was quick to hug me. His chest rocked as he buried his head in my shoulder and I returned the tight hug, feeling my own tears rolling down my cheeks. This hurt a lot more than when he told me had a girlfriend. My lungs were heaving for oxygen and no matter how deeply I tried to breathe it wasn’t working. It was more painful, because we were saying goodbye to each other. To a friend of a lifetime, to a secret lover, to someone who meant to world to us at one point. And that was more painful than realizing we were in love and thinking the other wouldn’t return it.

“Maybe—maybe when—we have sorted things out—we could be—friends again.” Soonyoung said between sniffles, rubbing my back up and down.

“Maybe.” I whispered, unsure if there was reconciling from this one. Maybe there was, maybe there wasn’t.

“Stay healthy for me, please?” I muttered into Soonyoung’s shoulder as I took in his scent for the last time. The scent that brought so much comfort and pain at some point in my life. A scent I associated once with home.

“Yeah…just, be happy.” Soonyoung was the first to pull away, eyes red as he looked me over. I offered him a sad smile, clearing my throat and cleaning my face of the tears.

“Bye.” I called out quietly and Soonyoung gulped before he gripped my wrist and pressed a painful kiss against my lips.

“Bye.” Yet he still managed to smile, that smile that was so contagious and lit up a whole room. I returned it, but only half heartedly as I left Soonyoung and Jihoon’s apartment, leaving my best friend and the feeling behind. It felt liberating in a way, like the final weight was lifted too, like I could fly up high in the sky again.

The door that opened for Joshua in my heart before, was wide open now. Ready to be filled with Joshua and Joshua only.

[chubbyreaderchan]

Review | Seto Kaiba x youtuber!Reader

Warning: Female Reader

Kaiba bit his lip, watching the fairly popular video. A young woman was reviewing quite a few different tech products. One of them happened to be his newest duel disk.

He was pissed.

He wasn't sure if it was her she was pissed at or the production company he employed but this video was tarnishing his reputation. Seto thought about forcing her to take it down but that would only make people think he did it. It would also hurt his sales.

It wasn't as if it was her fault that upon opening the box it fell apart and wouldn't even turn on. He picked up his phone, calling to see if the manufacturer had found out anything about that particular batch.

It was why it went viral. People where saying Kaiba was cheapening his products.

Scamming people.

"Well?" he said roughly into the blue Kaiba brand cell phone.

"S-Sir! It does look as if that batch was dropped off of the pallet before shipping." A nervous voice said.

Kaiba huffed. "Did they get fired?!"

"Y-yes sir,"

"Good. Also, I need a new duel disk sent to my office in the colors of that woman's channel colors..." Kaiba responded coolly.

He had a plan.

"Sir?"

"You heard me. It better be on my desk by tomorrow,"

Seto pressed the end button aggressively. The next step he took was began an email to the young woman. Hopefully this would be good press.

--

"Hey, guys!" (Y/n) said into a camera as she walked. "You won't believe where I am! I am in Domino City! This is like a gamer's Disney!"

She spun happily to show the city. "I have a big surprise as to why I'm here too!" She continued her introduction, filming her day up until she was standing in front of the original Kaiba Corp building.

"Here we are! The big surprise! The real Seto Kaiba saw my video on the duel disk. He wanted to be able to explain the whole situation! I even got a special key badge for today," She grinned and pushed through the crystal glass doors.

Putting the camera at her hip, she stopped at the security desk explaining why she was there. They were pointed to a special blueish chrome elevator. She walked over, scanning her badge. It pinged. The doors opened smoothly, she stepped in carefully. It made her feel a bit claustrophobic for a moment that was until she turned around to see how beautiful the lobby was. The shaft of the elevator was all glass inside, encased by a clear waterfall. The building had cubicles and workers but large statues of different duel monsters filled the center. They were disturbingly realistic. As if that giant blue eyes white dragon could fly off any second. She couldn't resist filming her trip up.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the elevator opened to his floor. Three doors, a desk with a secretary... Or was he security? Both? He looked up at her with a grumpy look, noticing the camera.

"So you must be her." He crossed his large arms. "Mr. Kaiba is waiting."

(Y/n) swallowed hard, nervous suddenly. It wasn't her first celebrity she's met. At least gamer celebs. She even met Yugi Moto once at a convention they were both guests at. But they had all been good.

Seto Kaiba's reputation really wasn't the best.

She stepped forward, knocking on the large doors at the end of the short hallway. The way it looked, his office must take 1/3 of the floor.

They opened automatically, there sat the handsome young CEO. A big box with blue wrapping paper and a silver ribbon sat on the desk.

"Sit." He nodded towards a blue chair across from him, sewn in a blue velvet.

He really knew themeing.

"Where do you want to set up the camera?" He asked coolly, looking her over.

He could admit she was... Cute.

She had appeal. Maybe he could use her as a face for Kaiba tech? Interesting.

"Oh! Uh." She had been wearing a large bag all day filled with equipment, she almost forgot she had it.

She placed said bag down and glanced around. There was a nice white leather couch with blue pillows and nodded. "That looks comfortable."

Then she moved to grab her bag only for that large security man from before to grab it politely.

She frowned but let it slide, Kaiba stood up.

"Wow, you are tall."

Did she just say that out loud?

Kaiba raised a neatly manicured eye brow at her. It was always interesting how he made people feel. Nervousness reflected so differently on different people.

"I mean I've only seen you on tv," She was so embarrassed.

He smirked but didn't say anything as he sat down. The man grabbed the wrapped present and (Y/n) began to set up her video equipment. Maybe she should hire a producer?

It took a bit of time but she finally sat down next to Seto. He was so tall that when sat at an angle his knee gently bumped hers. This made her face feel warm. Why was he so handsome?!

The camera was rolling but Kaiba barely changed his personality. "I noticed your duel disk didn't meet Kaiba Corp standard." He explain. "It seems there was an incident in shipping that I wasn't informed of. We recalled all of the duel disks from that shipment."

He picked up the gift making it obvious for the camera. "I want you to be the first to get your replacement."

Her heart fluttered when her eyes met his, what she didn't know that his did the same thing.

"Oh! I see! I'm so glad that you are accepting responsibility! So many companies just brush it away!" She was actually shocked that this was what it was about but yet had a feeling.

Her hands shakily opened the wrapping paper showing the custom machine. It was her favorite colors and matched her channel asthetic so well. Internally she was squealing.

"Oh wow!" She moved and began to open it on camera showing a beautiful working piece of machinery. "I'm very impressed." They talked a little longer. Kaiba using it as an advertisement moment and they finished it quickly. That was when a young man with black hair walked in. Probably only nineteen. He must be the now older Mokuba. His eyes widened.

"Woah! Seto. I didn't know she was coming today!" He was excited it seemed. "I loved the videos where you just unbox capsule monsters. Even though I have most of them it's so satisfying!"

She was in shock he even knew her.

"Thank you! I'm so glad." She glances at time. She needed to be at her hotel soon to call her friends back home.

"I'm sorry" she bowed. "I have to go soon. Morning back home is happening and everyone wants to see me safe!"

Mokuba watched her leave with a frown then looked at his older brother.

"If you don't ask her out... I will,"

[ushidoux]

Be My Last - Iwaizumi x  Reader (Pt. 5)

Summary: You have trouble getting over a past relationship and it’s preventing you from moving forward. (~1.6 words)

Warnings: angst, mention of kid and implied marriage.

A/N: We’re at the end here! I hope you’re okay with the way this ended, and if not... *shrug* LOLLLL, we can talk about it. Thanks for reading up to now!! <333 See you in my next fic!!

Part 1|| Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

-

Iwaizumi returned late that evening to realize that you were nowhere to be found.

It shouldn’t have been this alarming for him to not see you hanging upside down off the edge of the couch watching tv, futzing around in the kitchen, maybe staring out off the small balcony or snuggled up under the covers.

But you were absent, and on top of everything, the sight of a dark home proved to be too much for him to handle. Moreover, the home hadn’t always really been his, had it? It was yours and Ushijima’s far before he’d even come into the picture.

He had just been filling a space, just as he’d promised you.

He checked his phone only to be further defeated by the lack of a text message to let him know you were going out. You always let him know.

Iwaizumi turned on his heels and went back to his car. The roads were clearer now and he needed to drive. He needed to go, somewhere. It didn’t matter where to.

Years pass.

“Hot cocoa, please!”

Your daughter collapsed in your arms as she made this request, having run in your direction from the opposite side of the sitting room. She grinned widely, her brownish-green eyes seeming to sparkle despite the low light of the room. She is truly the happiest child, you thought for a moment, smiling as you mussed her hair affectionately.

“Okay, baby, we can get some,” you agreed, pulling her close for a kiss on the forehead, because how could you say no to that pure joy on her face?

“Did you have fun with your new friends?” You asked, rising.

You’d been watching her for a while now, seated in an overstuffed armchair by a roaring fire, thankful to be insulated from the frigid winter weather (turned out the cold of Eastern Europe was an entirely different type of cold than you were used to). It was a pleasure to see her discharge energy, bouncing around the other little kids at the ski lodge resort you’d been residing at since this past weekend.

She nodded. “That’s why I’m gonna drink it really fast so we can play some more!”

You chuckled, and held her little hand tightly. At least someone was having fun.

You on the other hand had decided you hated skiing with a passion six hours into the vacation after spilling spectacularly more than enough times on one of the beginner slopes. Not wanting to ruin your husband’s fun, you’d convinced him to let you stay behind with your four-year-old so that she could socialize, you could have a break, and he could try one of the more exciting slopes. 

Everyone won.

Well, sorta. He’d pouted as he set out on his own, and now you felt a little bad. Maybe you’d try again the next morning for him after you left your little one at a kids’ event.

“Is Daddy coming back soon?” 

Your little princess’ legs swung excitedly as she sipped her hot cocoa with far too many marshmallows, just after you’d blown at it a little to make sure she didn’t burn herself.

“Daddy will join us soon,” you assured her, your own hands warm with a cup of tea.

---

“I’m sorry.”

Before you is a glass of water with too much lemon. You’re seated at a diner, the very diner where you’d first confessed your feelings for him, and he’s speaking to you but you barely hear him - all you hear is the rushing of blood in your temples. 

Why now? What do you do with sorry after all this time?

Wakatoshi sees your expression and cracks a weary smile. 

“I shouldn’t say that, should I? It’s too little, too late.”

He’s right but you don’t answer.

It’s weird to see him after all these years, seated just across from you as though you were on a date as usual. You can imagine a heaping stack of pancakes between you, covered in too much fruit and too much syrup and him chastising you before you force a berry into his mouth. You can imagine laughter. You can imagine gentle touches, kisses, hugs. You can imagine the words ‘I love you.’

Is that what he’s sorry for?

“To-... Wakatoshi, why did you message me?” You don’t mean to sound curt, but if you speak longer you feel as though your voice will give out.

He winces almost imperceptibly at the use of his full name. But he’s always been steadier than you, emotion-wise. At least you think so.

“I wish it had been different.”

“So do I,” you say, quickly before thinking. But you don’t really, do you? 

There’s a man who loves you, possibly more than he loves himself, than he loves anything in the world. And if it weren’t for this, for Ushijima ‘releasing’ you, no matter how harshly, you wouldn’t have had the experience to be loved by him.

“I was wrong.”

He was. He was absolutely wrong. But what’s wrong and what’s right no longer matters. What matters is what is.

He pauses and sighs. You can see his hands now grip the end of the table as though to keep steady. 

“Thank you for coming.”

There is another pause, one that is suddenly too great for you to handle, where you want to sigh but instead you draw in a double breath.

You’re embarrassed because you do not intend to cry. Not after all this. Not in front of him. 

“You didn’t love me enough to compromise,” you end up sputtering out.

Your tears aren’t falling yet but your eyes swim and you blink them back furiously. “Why all this? Why now?”

He blinks once and you can see his fingers tighten around the edge of the booth, knuckles white.

“I was stupid then. I’m different now.”

The fact that his eyes are so sincere makes your heart wrench. You know that he doesn’t lie, he’s never felt a need to.

It’s a response that infuriates you but your anger is cool rather than hot and it’s diffuse, deafening and directionless. There’s no one to be mad at except the very fabric of time.

What do I do with this? What can I do?

Your heart settles, and you measure your next words carefully. 

---

“Daddy!”

Your daughter’s eyes widened immediately as she saw him approach behind you, and in mere seconds, she jumped out of her chair to embrace her father, nearly knocking over her hot cocoa in the process. You managed to salvage it to your credit, and you turned in your chair to flash a teasing grin.

“How were the slopes?”

---

“There was once a time where I would have followed you anywhere if you asked me to. Maybe it was unhealthy, maybe it was naïve, but I truly loved you to that extent. I would have left everything behind if you asked.”

The solemn look he sports on his face, so stoic as a defense mechanism that it seems almost caricature-like, only confirms that he knew. He knew that every word you said was true, and yet... 

“I thought it was the best decision at the time. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore.”

Maybe he was right. That sort of reckless love, especially when not reciprocated in earnest could only result in pain. 

His intentions were good. They were good. That’s what matters.

He had a reason.

----

Hajime frowned at you, which in turn made his little princess, now perched on his hip frown as well. 

“Your mother’s not being very nice, now is she?” He murmured, as he approached, now settling her back in the chair across from you. “She didn’t even want to ski with me!”

His arms crossed over his chest as he stood beside you now, a pretend-grumpy look on his face.

Your four year-old gasped. “What?! Mommy’s mean? Are you a bully?”

“Hey!” You nudged Iwa in the ribs. “Don’t make me out to be the bad guy! I’m coming with you tomorrow!”

To this, your husband’s eyes lit up, and he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, resting his chin on your head.

“You’d do that for me, my clumsy little penguin?” He whispered, just low enough that your little girl, who had now contented herself back to drinking her hot cocoa couldn’t hear.

Your eyebrows furrowed.

“If you keep making fun of me, you’ll be on your own again, and possibly so for the rest of this vacation,” you grumbled back, but he laughed in earnest to your threat, pressing a quick kiss on your cheek before dragging the nearest chair towards your table to complete your circle.

“So what do my favorite girls want for dinner?”

---

When Ushijima’s hands finally relax, and he places them clasped together on the table, you find yourself reaching for them. It’s no longer a natural, intrinsic movement of the arm and hand, the way it was years ago when you always yearned for physical contact. It’s now measured and intentional.

You squeeze his hands and they feel different. They’re larger, colder, rougher than Iwa’s are. It’s not a bad thing; just not the same. You can imagine that intertwining your fingers with his would feel imperfect, maybe even wrong.

You’ve changed. And he’s changed.

“Wakatoshi…”

You pause, and your hands linger. 

It’s hard to look in his eyes when you say this, but you do anyway. Their eyes are almost the same color, but Iwa’s are greener. An old idiom comes to mind and you banish it from your mind.

“You will always be my first love, but Hajime will be my last one.”

[imagine-loki]

What About Trust, Chapter 6

TITLE: What About Trust CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 6 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki owns a bookshop on Midgard. He had to do something there to try and avoid getting any attention. But he’s not fond of having customers, is rather grumpy and guarded. But then he meets a bright, bubbly and trusting young woman who doesn’t recognise him. To his dismay, he finds himself becoming rather fond of the mortal.  RATING: M

Cleo made her way down the street to Loki’s shop, she was just about there when she saw a young couple running out of the store as fast as they could, almost tripping on their way out.

‘AND DON’T BOTHER COMING BACK!’ Loki roared at them as he stepped outside to make sure they left.

‘Well, that’s one way to get recurring customers.’ Cleo commented, raising an eyebrow at him.

Loki’s face instantly softened. ‘They were spilling coke on my books! They almost spilled all over the very first edition of The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter! Do you know how much that is worth?’

Cleo’s eyes widened. ‘You have the original, like, the very first one ever? The Tale of Peter Rabbit?’

‘I do… And it was almost ruined by those imbeciles.’ He growled.

‘Can I see it?’

Loki huffed and folded his arms over his chest. ‘You’re not listening. It was almost ruined! Value, gone. Poof.’

‘Well we better check it over to make sure they definitely didn’t ruin it.’ Cleo said as she went past him into his shop.

He followed her in and she had already spotted said book on the table by the fire place. She sat down on his chair and pulled it in closer to the table, then carefully opened the book to the first page.

Loki knew he could trust her with his books. She was the only one he knew for certain wouldn’t wreck his prized possessions.

‘Oh wow, this is incredible. I can’t believe it’s the first one. Seriously, how do you get hold of these?’ She asked in awe as Loki wandered over and perched on the arm of the chair.

‘I have my ways… My adopted parents were rather, well off. I grew up surrounded by many of these books they’d managed to acquire over the many years.’ Loki said.

‘I wish my parents had been as into books or music. I mean, they did read and listen to music, but not to the extent that I do. I was always told off for living with my head in the clouds. My nose always stuck in a book or my headphones in to listen to music.’ Cleo admitted.

‘If it’s any consolation, my brother and father was the same. My brother especially was always mocking me for being a book worm. But there’s nothing wrong with it, nothing at all.’ Loki said softly, making her smile.

She looked back at the book and read through it, careful with every single page. When she finished, she closed it and gently put it back on the table. ‘Well, it looks fine to me. So I think it got away unscathed from the coke spilling.’ She smiled up at Loki.

‘Thank you for so graciously checking.’ He chuckled and grabbed the book to return it to its rightful place.

‘You’re welcome.’ She grinned and hopped up to her feet. ‘So, I was thinking.’

‘Uh oh, dangerous.’ Loki teased, smirking as he walked back over to her.

She narrowed her eyes at him. ‘Ha. Ha… I was thinking, if you’re not doing anything tomorrow night, perhaps you’d like to come along to a gig? My friend is in a band and they’re playing at Grand Central Pub.’

‘Hmm.’ Loki folded his arms over his chest. ‘I think I’m washing my hair tomorrow night.’

Cleo glared up at him and put her arms across her chest, too. ‘Don’t be such an ass. You might even enjoy yourself, where’s the harm in that?’

‘Being in a room full of sweaty strangers dancing and gyrating against one another is not my idea of a fun night.’ Loki drawled and wandered over to the nearest book shelf to tidy up a little, even though to Cleo it already looked tidy.

‘What is your idea of a fun night?’ Cleo queried and leaned against the book shelf next to him, getting in his way.

He scowled down at her. ‘A quiet night in with a good book and chocolate is all that I need.’

‘Well, it starts at seven, if you do change your mind. And it’s not a nightclub, it’s a pub. Table seats and a chilled atmosphere.’ Cleo shrugged and started backing away from him. ‘They’re a good band, you might just surprise yourself and enjoy it.’

‘I doubt that.’ Loki mumbled and concentrated on front of him.

Cleo rolled her eyes and shook her head. ‘Alright, your loss.’ She called to him as she headed out.

‘I look forward to hearing all about it the next time you come in to bug me and steal my chair.’ Loki said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, just before she headed out the door.

-

Loki sighed as he looked up at the pub on front of him. He couldn’t believe he had talked himself into going along.

It wasn’t like he had anything better to do anyway, but still.

If it had been anyone else but Cleo inviting him, he would’ve definitely refused. But the thought of spending more time with her was far too appealing, he couldn’t help himself. And she clearly wanted to spend more time with him, too. Since she had invited him, after all.

When he walked into the bar, he was indeed pleasantly surprised to find it was a relaxed atmosphere. It was busy, but not too busy. There was still room to move around without being pressed against other people.

‘Hey, Luke!’ Came a familiar voice.

He turned to the side and smiled when he saw Cleo at a small table at the back. She motioned him over and grinned when he approached, holding out a bottle of beer towards him.

Raising an eyebrow, he took the drink from her and sat down with her. ‘How did you know I would turn up?’

Cleo shrugged and took a swig of her own beer. ‘I wouldn’t say I knew you would, but I hoped you would. I figured if you weren’t here by ten past, then you wouldn’t turn up and I’d just go join my friends.’

‘I might’ve been fashionably late.’ He shrugged.

‘Nah, you certainly don’t seem to be the type to ever be late to something.’

Loki tilted his head slightly. ‘Why are you not joining your friends? Or having them join us? Where are they?’

‘They’re over there, near the bar.’ She pointed to a table of five people, two guys and three girls. ‘Our friend is the drummer of the band. I also guessed that if you did come along, you wouldn’t want to be subjected to conversing with my friends.’

Loki frowned. ‘We can join them if you want.’

‘Do you want to? Or do you want to stay here at this table?’ Cleo asked, smirking as she knew exactly what his answer would be.

‘It is cosier here…’ He said sheepishly.

Cleo laughed. ‘Don’t worry, I said I’d catch them for a quick catch up after the gig.’

Loki smiled and clinked his bottle with hers. He felt warmed that she had thought about what he would prefer, what he would be comfortable with. No one had really gone out of their way for him before or made a sacrifice to make him happier, no matter how little it was it meant a lot to him.

He ended up really enjoying the gig when it started, even bobbing his head a little in tune with the music. Cleo was moving around in her chair dancing and cheering plenty between songs.

Though Loki found himself looking at Cleo more often than at the band on stage. The way her eyes were sparkling in the light, she was such a cheerful and happy soul. It made Loki feel fuzzy inside whenever he looked at her and was with her.

He knew he was in deep trouble now.

After the gig was over, Cleo went to see her friends and Loki decided to go with her to meet them. He thought after all she did for him, he should at least make an effort and be polite.

Cleo was pleasantly surprised when Loki wasn’t like a bear with a sore head towards them. He greeted them all and commented to her friend in the band about how good the gig was.

‘Are you coming along to the party?’ One of her friends asked.

‘I have to work tomorrow, so should probably head home.’ Cleo said sadly.

‘If you give me five minutes, I’ll walk you home.’ One of her other friends offered, one of the guys. They were always wary about their female friends walking home alone in the dark. Even though it was well lit.

‘I’m heading home too, so I’ll make sure Cleo gets home safely.’ Loki jumped in.

‘Are you sure?’ Cleo asked.

‘Of course.’ Loki nodded with a smile.

After saying bye to her friends, Loki and Cleo headed out into the cool night together.

‘Don’t even say it.’ Loki drawled.

‘What? I didn’t say anything!’ Cleo said, but he had known from the way she skipped along the pavement that she had been about to say something.

‘I know you were about to.’ Loki narrowed his eyes at her.

She grinned and began walking backwards just ahead of him. ‘What, that I told you so?’

‘Yes. That.’ Loki rolled his eyes, making Cleo laugh.

‘Well, in my defence I did tell you so… But I am really glad that you enjoyed it.’ Cleo settled back walking next to him.

It wasn’t too far to Cleo’s place. She lived in a nice block of flats not too far from the city centre. But down a nice quiet residential street so it wasn’t too crazy.

Loki walked her up to the front door of the building.

‘Thank you for inviting me along tonight. It was a pleasant enough evening.’ Loki grinned.

‘I’m glad you decided it was more exciting than washing your hair.’ Cleo quipped, grinning back at him.

Loki chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. ‘Yeah, it turned out to be a little better than doing that.’

‘Because of course the company was exceptional.’ Cleo teased, mocking a bow.

‘It was indeed.’ Loki purred.

The both of them paused a moment, looking into one another’s eyes. Loki’s heart started pounding against his chest and so did Cleo’s. They both began to lean in closer, slowly moving towards one another. Loki glanced down at her lips, almost there…

Suddenly the front door swung open and a tenant from the building came bustling out, moving right through between Loki and Cleo. ‘Sorry, excuse me!’

Loki cleared his throat and Cleo stepped back a bit, feeling a little shy suddenly.

‘Uhm, well, thanks for walking me home, Luke. I really appreciate it.’ She smiled sweetly at him, her cheeks red.

Loki opened his mouth slightly for a moment, about to admit his real name. But he found he just couldn’t do it. Then she would know who he truly was, and all the bad things he’d done… He didn’t want to risk her hating him.

‘The pleasure was all mine, darling.’ He ended up saying charmingly.

He waited until Cleo was safely inside the building and out of sight, heading upstairs, before he headed for home… Muttering curses at himself under his breath the entire way.

[catzula]

A kiss to warm your heart

A/N: Ahh I missed writing for Bakugou and its been a while since I had this much fun writing anything, I hope you guys enjoy it too >:(

And uh lets not make this one flop pls 😦

Pairing: bakugou x reader

Warning: cursing

Genre: fluff! Mutual pining, some jealousy but not very prominent

Synopsis: going to a skiing trip for the weekend with you friends sounds like a good idea (not as much when you realize your crush, Bakugou Katsuki is coming, too!), but it's a bit hard to actually get to skiing when you can't ride the chair lift.

"Dips on the bed next to the window!" Mina rushed into the room, throwing herself on the said bed. You sent her a fake pout as you settled on the other bed, not really caring about it's location, but it was fun to guilt-trip Mina. She gave you a crooked grin as she laid her luggage on the ground, already unpacking.  

"Change into your skiing clothes, Kiri told me we're going to go skiing in about half an hour."

"What? No! We just came, I'm tired." You protested, throwing yourself on the fluffy hotel bed, groaning and hoping you looked as yitrd as you felt so she would leave you alone.

"Y/N, stand up and wear your ski clothes? Please?" Mina held you by the arm, lulling you off the bed and thinking you were a little too strong for your own good.

"Oh, come on," she groaned when you sent her a 'leave me alone, I'm tired' look, "We're only here for two days, and we should use every chance we have! Also, it's tea time, and they are serving those little free cookies, so I'm sure you'll feel better if you just ate one."

"Yeah, all I need is cookies." You scoffed, making her grin. "Nope, all you need is Bakugou." Mina turned to the mirror and fluffed her hair, trying to look as indifferent as she could, failing at hiding her sly grin as she gave you a few seconds of silence to reconsider. 

You sighed as you rushed down the stairs, evening your pace with Mina's. You always hated walking in ski clothing since it made you feel like a burrito: overheated, wrapped with layers and layers of clothing which rustled each time you moved, and very uncomfortable.

"Free cookies, you say? Are there brownies, too?"

~~~

You knew she wanted to talk about something by the way she kept turning at you and fidgeting her hands. "What is it?" You asked when Mina glanced at you for the fortieth time the last few minutes. "If it's about you-know-who, I don't wanna hear it, though." 

"Mina-" you started to talk, but she stopped you before you could argue, although you were itching to go downstairs already because you felt like you were going to have a stroke if you stood indoors with these clothes. "Don't Mina me, and you know this is your best chance to confess to him! What are you even waiting for, for him to confess first?"

"Uh, yeah?" 

"Oh, come on!" She groaned, emphasizing the last word. "If you want to tell him, this is your chance!" 

"Well, you're out of luck, then." Mina booped your nose. "We are talking about the worlds biggest tsundere after all. I doubt he'd say anything before you do."

She was right, and you knew it. "I know," you admitted, rolling your eyes at the way she grinned proudly. "But I'm not- I don't want to damage our friendship, you know? And I'm not ready for a rejection." You laughed wryly to ease the tension you were feeling. 

"Rejection? Are you serious? You guys are so obvious that even Denki asked me if you were secretly dating. You are almost already dating, just neither of you accepted the feelings towards the other." 

Well, it was true. You and Bakugou were a little closer than friends, maybe, but him every so often flirting with you or you meeting his gaze whenever you looked at him (which happened quite often, you had to admit) didn't necessarily mean he liked you back, did it? 

"I'll- I'll do my best." You smiled at her, trying to change the subject since you were in the entrance of the sitting area. "Let's go eat something already. Do you see them?" 

"Oh, I see Kiri." She spotted, grinning when she saw Bakugou frowning right next to him. "Look, Bakugou's there, too. Hey guys!" She waved at them, running towards the duo and pulling you along. You could see how his gaze snapped up at hearing Mina's voice, the red eyes finding yours immediately and a smirk replacing the frown on his lips. 

He had no right to look this good even with snowboard clothes. His spiky hair messy because of the big ski glasses that rested on top of his head, the black, skin-tight thermals enhanced his well-built body, and his orange-striped ski pants looked like they fit him perfectly. You had to admit you were maybe a bit excited to see him snowboarding down the mountain.

"What, see something you like?" He grinned, whispering so only you could hear, frowning almost immediately after that when he turned to Mina. "Took you guys long enough."

"Yeah, don't tell me that, it was her who needed 30 minutes of convincing, although it was pretty easy to convince her after I said- well, never mind what." She grinned villainously when you sent her an 'I'll push you of a cliff if you say one more word' look.

Bakugou quirked a brow at the pink-skinned girl's sudden change of behavior but decided not to think about it much. "Oh my God, I'll pass out let's go ski already!" Kirishima chimed in, pulling on the thermals he was wearing that clung to him like a second skin, and you could feel the eyes that were looking his way as you walked through the lobby. "These clothes are waaay too warm to be wearing inside." He added, fanning himself with his hands.

He was right, and you felt suffocated, too, the clothes too warm, too tight, too much and too heavy, there were too many things to carry with you, all your hands occupied with another ski gear, and you were itching to throw them and run outside to the snow screaming.

You were glad when your friends complied, all making their way to the ski room. You spotted Mina running towards you, and her ski pants pouches were suspiciously full with something that resembled cookies. You quirked a brow at her, pointing at her bulky pockets, only to earn a grin from her. "You know, its a little snack for us to eat when we get hungry or bored on the longass chair lift ride."

"Hey Mina, send me a cookie!" Denki waved to you, making Mina grin knowingly. "See? There's demand."

You chuckled as you entered the ski room. Bakugou was already sitting on the bench, a jet black snowboard right beside him, the crimson of his eyes contrasting with the black of his board and clothes beautifully. His eyes raised to you when you entered the room, a smirk finding its place on his soft lips when your eyes wandered over the pretty snowboard. 

You couldn't look away as he leaned forward to tie his shoes, arms flexing as he tightened them to fit his legs better, and your need to go running to the snow and maybe scream a few minutes had suddenly increased.

You were approaching him when you felt someone lightly touch your arm. It was a guy around your age, you noticed, smiling widely at you, and you could tell he worked there by the tag on his chest. Shindou Yo, it read. "Can I help you?"

"Oh, thank you." You muttered, feeling somewhat shy after taking a glance at his smiling face and noticing just how handsome he was. You followed him to the counter when he told you to come with you, making you forget the existence of the crimson gaze that was following you wherever you went. 

You didn't feel it, but Bakugou watched you as you gave your name and room number to the charming boy, unaware (or maybe aware?) to his flirty remarks as he pulled out the skiing gear you rented, smiling and giggling as he said something Bakugou couldn't quite hear. You finally realized the dirty looks the blonde was sending you as Shindou kneeled before you to help you wear the ski shoes and gears, but even then, you only smiled and waved at Bakugou, not noticing how he gritted his teeth. 

"Oh, fuck this." Bakugou muttered and raised to his legs, grabbing his snowboard and storming out of the room when Shindou laid his hand on your thigh to 'support' himself to stand up. "Bakugou?" You furrowed your brows and tilted your head when you noticed him sprinting outside. You quickly realized the rest of your friends had left, too. 

Thanking Shnidou, you stood up, running out of the room, only to sigh in relief when you noticed your friends had gathered right outside of the hotel, Sero trying to help Denki wear his ski gears, but both failing miserably. 

"Y/N, right here!" Mina called and waved at you, and it was hard not to see her in her shiny silver puffer jacket. "Oh, I thought you guys left without waiting for me." You spoke, breathless when you finally arrived next to them. 

"Aw, we would never!" Mina chuckled. "Bakugou would, though. Did, also." 

"What, he left?"

"Yep, said he was going to leave ahead since quote unquote, he couldn't wait for slow extras like us."

You frowned, you thought you would be together the whole day! So he wasn't going to stay with you guys for not even five minutes? "I'm going after him." You informed Mina, skiing as quickly as you could down the small slope, in which's end stood the beginning of the chair lift. 

You quickly spotted the spiky ash blond head, holding the giant indigo snowboard in his hands with a very grumpy look on his face. You sighed, and he looked pissed. "Bakugou!" You called out, trying to get to him before his turn in the line came, not so nicely pushing people in front of you to draw near him. 

"Bakugou!" You called once again, and this time you were sure he had heard but ignored you. "Hey, asshole!" You spoke, this time in a normal voice since you had finally drawn close to him, touching his arm to get his attention. 

"What're you doing here?" Bakugou asked without taking as much as a glance at you and making you narrow your eyes. "What do you mean, what are you doing here?" You snapped.

"I said, what are you doing here? What, did your new boyfriend leave you already?"

"New boyfriend? What the hell are you talking about?" But instead of getting a rational answer, instead of getting any response, you watched as he gave you a soft 'hmph!' and turn back in front of him. You would've pushed the subject if it wasn't your turn in the line, and you were already regretting this as you entered the chair lift right after him. 

~~~

"What the hell is your problem?" You muttered after sitting in silence for a good 15 minutes, you still had about 5 minutes till you landed, but it was enough for you to have and end this conversation, you thought.

"What is my problem? What the fuck is your problem? You were the one who chased me till here, after all." Bakugou growled in response, pulling the black ski mask down to his chin as he spoke. "I chased you because you left us and went ahead! We came here as a group, so why would you go off alone?"

"And what the fuck is this new boyfriend shit you're talking about?" 

"Oh, you just had to bring him up." Bakugou muttered under his breath. "Shut up, idiot. We're going to land in a minute, so raise your legs." He instructed, pulling the safety bar over your head when you complied. 

"You ready?" He asked when the chair came to the smooth surface, knowing very well how you struggled each time you landed from these things. "Okay," he answered when you nodded, instinctively taking your hand in his gloved ones, "one, two, jump!" 

He jumped with you, holding and pulling you to himself when you lost your balance despite his instructions, and you could feel the breath he exhaled as he chuckled on your hair. "Don't laugh!" You frowned, only making him laugh harder. "Whatever, come here so the next ones to jump won't run into you." Bakugou pulled you to the side. 

"Oh, look, Sero and Mina are in the ones right after this one!" You told and pointed to your friends, Mina waving in her hands in her seat like mad and shaking the chair in mid-air.

"I'm never riding this thing with Mina again." Sero took a breath of relief as they jumped down from the chair, too. "Don't worry the next ones are the single chair ones." Mina assured him with a cheeky grin, her response making both you and Bakugou gulp audibly. 

"Oh, fuck."

"Oh, no!" You cried out.

"What's happening?"

"Oh, that's okay, Y/N, even I fall sometimes!" Mina assured you, not aware of how your situation was. "No, you don't understand." You told her. "I suck at them! I have the 1 out of 20 chance of arriving at the end of them without falling!"

"Oh my god." You rubbed your temples.

"She can't ride those single seat ones for her life." Bakugou answered instead of you. 

"Yep, she's not even exaggerating." Bakugou assured her. 

"Are you sure, you know we can help-"

"Shut up, raccoon eyes." Bakugou growled at her, making her shrug and wait in the line. "Okay, now." Bakugou turned to you. "Stop being so stiff. It's fucking easy if you just relax."

Mina quickly became aware of how sincere you were with your 18th failed attempt at the single-seat chair lifts. "You guys go ahead," Bakugou finally told them. "I'll help this idiot and come right after."

"I'm sorry for not wanting to fall on my butt again!" You gritted through your teeth as you nervously eyed the lift. "You won't fall on your ass if you just do as I say!" Bakugou snapped back. "Look at me, dumbass. It's alright."

He frowned when you stood still. "Look, I'll sit at the one right after you, okay? I'll catch you if you fall."

"Promise?" You asked, smiling when he nodded. "Well then, let's do this."

You watched as Kirishima went first, Denki going second, Mina following him, and Sero going right after. "Your turn, dumbass." Bakugou nudged you. "Look, we can try it a few minutes later if you don't feel ready-"

"No, no, it's okay." You smiled. "I can do it if I know you're there to catch me."

And you did. 

For the first time that day, you managed to go more than a meter, still as stiff as ever, but a feeling of relief bubbling inside of you as you knew Bakugou was right behind you. "Whoo!" Mina cheered when she noticed you were riding it without falling the past minute.

"Did she do it?" Denki shouted from in front of you, and you giggled when you heard Kirishima whistling from the beginning of the line. "Did she do it, did she do- fuck!" You heard Denki's muffled curse, eyes widening in horror when you realized he fell as he tried to look back at you. 

The idiot he is, Denki didn't even think of skidding to the side so he wouldn't cause Mina to fall, too, but he did. Mina accidentally kicked the blond, who sat dumbly on the floor, with her ski gears when she tried to raise her legs so she wouldn't tangle with him, but she did anyway. 

"Oh, fuck, stand aside, stand aside!" Sero cried out, but the two on the ground were panicking and weren't thinking as they kept sitting in the middle of the path. Luckily, Mina managed to throw herself into the soft pile of snow the last second before Sero crushed into her, but Denki wasn't as quick. 

"Denki, don't you fucking dare!" You shouted.

"You fucking idiot! Stop it, you're going to make me fall, too!" Sero shouted when he noticed Denki was sitting there intentionally, reaching and grabbing Sero's seat, making the gear pull the both of them.

You would've laughed at the sight if you weren't so scared of falling, since watching Denki hang from a seat by hands and the rest of his body get dragged on the snow, his face and body buried in the snow and screams muffled by all the snow he was eating as Sero slapped his fingers and tried to kick him off, was a sight to behold. But you let out a silent scream when Denki let go of Sero's seat, eyes finding you, his next prey. 

"Kick him in the fucking face!" Bakugou shouted from right behind you, but you had lost your balance before you could even comply. Letting go of the rope you were holding on to, you let yourself fall on the snow and immediately retracting to the soft snow pile off the road. 

"Bakugou?" You turned around, and Bakugou couldn't help but think how cute you looked, face red from lying in the snow, hair tangled. "Did Denki make you fall, too?" You chuckled, not even trying to stand up, snow was pretty comfortable, you realized.

"You could say that." He shrugged.

You were laying face down on the snow, chest heaving as you waited for your heart to slow down. "What the fuck are you doing there, or are you dead?" You heard a familiar voice call from behind you. 

"What does that even mean?" You smiled knowingly. "Or did you jump after me?" 

"Hm, and what if I did?" He kneeled on the snow, leaning in, his face so close that his warm breath and caramel scent the only two things you could register for a few seconds. "I promised I'd catch you if you fell."

Bakugou hadn't expected to hear you chuckle when he said that, and he wasn't sure if he was happy or angry about it. "Well, you didn't do a good job, did you? I am lying in the snow, after all."

You had a point, and knowing that caused Bakugou to frown. "I'm leaving you here." He sighed, standing up and cruelly kicking some snow on your face, too.

"Hey, no, wait! Come back, Bakugou!" You cried out. "I can't stand up, my legs stuck!" It was true since your ski had sunk in the snow at a very odd angle when you threw yourself over it, making your ankle hurt when you moved it even an inch. "Bakugou! Please!" You called out one more time, not expecting him to sigh and turn back to help you. 

"How did you even do this?" Bakugou asked as he examined your leg, touching and pulling it slightly, rolling his eyes when you whined to tell him it hurt. "Stop being a baby."

"It hurts!" You answered at the accusation, feeling somewhat awkward as he inspected your legs closely, as you lay there watching the sky or playing with the snow, making snow castles, groaning every so often when he pulled at your leg. "Okay, I'll take off your ski now- Y/N, what the fuck? Stop playing with the snow and help me!" 

"What am I supposed to do- ow!" 

"I don't know... talk about your new boyfriend or something." He spoke, narrowing his eyes at the thought and pulling your leg a bit too harshly. "I untied the ski, but you have to pull your leg." He instructed. 

"I'm bored of this new boyfriend issue, I don't even understand what the hell you're talking about!" You whined as you did as he said and pulled your leg despite the sharp pain. You actually did have an idea of what he was angry at, but it was so dumb, you didn't even want to think he was jealous of a guy you talked to for 5 minutes tops.

"Ah, fuck." You moved your now fee leg, brows furrowing when you felt a sharp stab of pain. "I think I injured it."

"I'll take you back to the hotel." Bakugou sighed, sitting on the floor to untie his snowboard as well. "Can you walk?"

"I'm not sure." You answered honestly. It hurt a lot to walk in unpressed snow since it was already hard to walk in it without being injured. "Okay, wait a second." He stood up, leaning towards you. "Bakugou what are- oh." You stood still as he snaked his arms beneath your leg and back, pulling you to himself and lifting you to his chest. 

"I'm willing to bet you won't be able to walk." He huffed, his warm breath touching your neck. "Yeah, but are you sure you'll be able to carry me all the way to the hotel?"

You smiled when he quirked a brow at you as if to ask, are you challenging me?"

"Who do you think you're talking to?" He smirked proudly. "Are you okay? Comfortable? Is your leg okay?" 

"I'm fine, don't worry." You chuckled, leaning back into him and relaxing between his arms. It felt nice to be in his hold. "Let's go, quick, since I'm sure my new boyfriend's very worried too." You teased, your words bringing his movements to a halt. 

"I won't have mercy and drop you face into the snow." He growled, but you grinned cheekily. "No, you won't."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Hm," you nuzzled to him, you could hear his quickening heartbeats. "I think you like me a bit too much for that." You muttered, feeling braver than you probably should, trying to hide your nervousness with a smile. 

"Well, maybe I do." He whispered, his eyes locked on your lips. "But I have another way to get back at him."

"And what's that?"

"I can kiss you, you know. Make him as jealous as I've been feeling this whole day."

You leaned towards him as well. "I'm not complaining." You smiled, closing the gap between your lips and smiling into the kiss. Bakugou could feel the warmth of the kiss spreading to his chest. 

[candyopala]

Stuck in his ways, Chapter 5

Chapter Summary:  Y/N’s training begins, but not before she discovers one of Obito’s secrets.

Words: 1.7k

AO3

Please reblog or like if you enjoy, comments are always welcome <3

5:30 in the morning. It is the sixth time Y/N has woken up. This whole concussion thing has messed up her whole sleeping schedule, she tried her best to get some rest, but to no avail. She ended up sleeping for about fourteen or fifteen hours between small intervals, but she feels worse than before. 

Y/N drags herself out of bed, makes some coffee, and brushes her teeth, the whole deal. Having a constant roof above her head is nice, she has to admit that. Not having to worry about wild animals and the climate is cool, but the warmth of a bed is the best part of it. Tying her brand new bandana on her forehead, she leaves the small apartment and heads to the training grounds on the outskirts of the village.  

She makes her way through the village’s main market, trying to avoid stumbling onto the hundreds of busy people bustling around her. Watching people attend to their duties and following their routines has always been a hobby of hers, she always found interest in seeing people who can afford to do the same thing every day, have some sort of routine. Can she consider herself one of them now? No, maybe not. Ninjas are always doing different missions and whatnot; their routines are as fucked up as a merc’s. Maybe she can become a baker in another life, who knows? 

Around the corner, a hand blocking her way surprises her. At the end of it is a medium height man with his hair tucked into some sort of fabric, with bits of brown hair coming out of the sides. The man holds a toothpick between his lips, accompanied by a smug smile and an attitude that instantly annoys Y/N. 

“’Sup babygirl, how come I’ve never seen you around?”

“I’ve been busy for the last 26 years”

“Busy living in my dreams, I bet”

“Busy fucking you mom, actually”

The sleazy type is the worst in Y/N’s opinion. Nothing disgusts her more than someone who thinks they’re hot shit just because they’re attractive. She pushes him away and keeps on walking.  

“Ouch! Feisty, I like that. I’ll remember ya!” he states as he leaves the scene with a wink and a flick of his toothpick. 

This has to be a joke, what a douchebag.

Going back on her way and observing the people, she closes into a mass of messy short black hair. The man has his back turned to her, but by the jonin vest and height, she assumes it could be… no, wait… it could not be! This man is helping an old lady carry a shitload of groceries, he would never be nice enough to do that. 

Could it be him!?

From afar, she changes angle to try and catch a glimpse of his face. After much difficulty dodging busy locals, she is able to see clearly and… it’s Obito! Obito Uchiha helping a poor old lady carry her stuff, I wish I had a camera on me. She thinks of approaching him, but she decides against it in favor of watching from a distance to see where this goes. 

Turns out the frail woman lives on the other side of town. Obito sure enough has carried all that stuff through the worst climbs Y/N has ever seen on a city. But that was not all: he was being extra nice. He laughed at all her jokes and even smiled back at her. This is grade A entertainment. 

When they finally reach her destination, the old lady pulls out a lollypop and gives it to him. Y/N immediately loses her shit, almost falling from the ceiling she is in because of her fit of laughter. Before she can compose herself, she notices a presence behind her. She was discovered, but who cares? She has seen enough. Obito towers above her, trying to look intimidating, but failing to do so since he has a lollipop on his mouth. 

“First you invade my house, now you’re following me. Are you sure I’m the one who should be called a creep?”

“Well, you’re right. Maybe I’ll start calling you… Granny Simp Uchiha©, how about that?”  

“I hate you”

“Ow, I’m so hurt, oh my god, how could you? But seriously, I didn’t mean to intrude, but when I saw that… I needed to see more to believe it” She states as she breaks into another fit of laughter

“Let’s go, we’re late for training”

“Have you ever been on time a day of your life, though?”

“Never, I’ll probably be late for my own funeral”

“Fair enough. Wait, did you just make a joke that’s not on my expense?”

“Oh no, your dumbassery is influencing me!” He raises his gloved hands ironically

“Shut up”

 ~”~

 They both reach the training grounds at around 7:30, late but not a whole lot, thanks to Obito’s kamui. Obito will have to make some slight modifications on the mission report to avoid Minato’s wrath. After a quick warmup, Obito goes straight to the point: 

“How much do you even know about jutsu?”

“Well… I can do that chakra punch, maybe walk on water and trees or release genjutsu, but that’s all.”

“Not even a clone or some substitution jutsu?”

“Nope”

“So you’re basically an academy student with enough brute force to take down S rank criminals… That’s… odd”

Y/N scratches the back of her head, clearly embarrassed by her lack of training. Obito did not expect to have to teach such basic things. I mean, if he wanted to teach people stuff he would have signed up for a job at the academy. He still cannot believe Minato sensei is putting him up to this babysitting job. 

He needs to do well on this mission if he wants to get back onto the Hokage’s good side and guarantee his position as the next one. This is his second day with Y/N and things have been insane and… fun? No, he should not be thinking like that. Perhaps he should also go talk with Kushina and ask her to convince sensei to let him go from this one; he was always her favorite after all.

“Granny simp? You ok? Did I disappoint you that much?”

Obito fixes his bandana’s position over his left eye, trying to get himself out of his head. He is here now, so he had better get to work. If he can control himself enough not to put her under a nasty genjutsu for calling him that again, that is. 

“Call me that again and I’ll tell everyone that you saw me naked”

“You were not naked, dickhead. And what’s wrong with that?”

“Uhm…?”

“…?”

“Anyway… we’ll start with some cloning jutsu. Have you ever done any seals?”

“Only one or two”

“Try to copy what I’m doing”

“Hey! Stop doing it so fast!”

She honestly seems to be giving her best, but her hand signs are not quite right and the chakra distribution on her network must be all wrong, judging by her failure in producing something that seems to be remotely human. This takes Obito’s memory back to his old academy days, back when he could not do a single clone properly. He would spend whole nights awake training to achieve something passable. Rin helped him a lot back then. The only thing he has ever taught someone was that sexy jutsu to Naruto. To say Kushina was mad was an understatement. 

“Concentrate your chakra all along your body, not only on your hands”

“Hum… right, can I get a lollipop after this?”

Four hours later and Y/N has finally mastered two basic jutsu: substitution and cloning. She almost passed out several times due to exhaustion, but thanks to some food pills, she is enduring todays training much better. 

Obito has been analyzing her every movement with his sharingan. Looking closely her techniques lack grace, truly a sign of someone who learned everything they know by experience. He needs to fix that too. 

Her endurance is also remarkably low. If she were to fight right now, she could do maybe two or three jutsu before passing out, making her rely solely onto her speed and blade habilities. The girl is more of a samurai than a ninja at this point. Examining her file earlier, he noticed that her chakra reserves are not that low as she has stated before, according to the medical department she has an average quantity of it. She just lacks the ability to use it properly.  

Some very hard work is in order; it could take some months to get her into decent shape. That would be too much time and effort for Obito, there has to be another way of dealing with this mission quicker. 

He did not want to do this, but he will have to talk to Kakashi for some teaching tips. Hell, if he was able to teach anything useful to Naruto he will be able to come up with a routine to help Y/N’s training. 

I just hope he doesn’t decide to bother me about this situation…

After dropping Y/N on her house, with much protest from her part, Obito heads to the village’s café to meet with Kakashi Hatake. He knows that the ninja likes to spend his late afternoons reading his porn books accompanied by some coffee, disgusting stuff if you ask Obito. The coffee, that is. He has no formed opinion on porn books.

Approaching the store, he spots his friend’s mass of upward pointing grey hair. Something is different about him, though. Kakashi is usually… a very apathetic person. The look he gave Obito had chills running the Uchiha’s spine, he looked, well, excited. 

“Obito! I finally found you! Sit down”

Aliens killed him and this is a body double. Or this is one of Gai’s practical jokes. Obito is honestly stumped.

“Are you ok bakashi?”

“Great! So… who’s the girl?”

Great, just awesome.      

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Of course you know, everyone is talking about how you were seen walking up and down with some mysterious gal. I’m so happy for you! Finally you’re going to stop being a sad grumpy bachelor! I’ll call dibs on the position of best-man” and suddenly Kakashi jumps up from his seat, coming closer to Obito’s face “Have you guys done it yet? Did she run away from you and now you need my advice? You could use some techniques from Icha I-”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Those books are rotting your brain, seriously what the hell?”

“So is it true?”

[official-weasley]

Godparents - (The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley AU)

Warnings: absolutely nothing

Word count: 3,076

Characters: Charlie Weasley and my OC Nova from TICW which you can find here

Charlie

“Okay, Dee-Dee, remember, we have to triple the ingredients today because a lot of people are coming.” My brother warned my firstborn.

“I know, uncle Georgie.” Aoede glared at him.

“Okay, can I trust you with the measurements while I talk to your dad?”

“Of course. I know how to make cookies.” Aoede turned to look for the flour the second George walked to me.

“Do you remember when I was uncle Geogie?” George sighs. “She is growing up so fast!”

“And so is her attitude.” I chuckled. “What, that?” George shrugged his shoulders, looking at his niece. “She just takes making cookies very seriously.”

“I know and I know you miss her calling you Geogie, but she is five and a half now and a lot of names suddenly changed when she learned how to say R.” I laughed, reminiscing when Tiger's name went from Tigel to Tigerrrr.

“Yeah, I mean Luna Dora said her first word a few days ago so perhaps I have a chance to be Geogie again.” George's eyes shone.

“Don't remind me.” I groaned. “And since she is giving everyone nicknames already you will probably get one soon enough.”

“Are you still grumpy about her first words?” George laughed out loud.

“No!”

“Yes, you are, Charlie! I can't believe it.” George couldn't stop laughing.

Luna Dora said her first word last week and as much as I was proud of it that much I couldn't help that her first word would be something else.

I was luckier with her than with Aoede and I didn't miss any firsts with her. I was changing her diaper when she smiled for the first time and I was there when Nova put her down on the sofa and she sat by herself. Nova was the one who missed the first crawl this time and we both got to see Luna Dora rollover. She is already walking if someone is holding both of her hands and I am planning to be there for the moment of her walking for the first time too. That was the only first I got to experience with Aoede and I promised myself that I am not missing anything else.

I still remember when Aoede said her first word. We were having breakfast and Nova was feeding her some apple sauce and for some reason every time we started talking, Aoede started to laugh and we couldn't help but join her and because Nova forgot for a split second to feed her, Aoede kindly reminded her that she is still hungry and said ma-ma.

As much as I was overwhelmed by her saying her first word, I was a bit down that she didn't call me first. Of course, I was expecting it – Nova being at home with her while I was working – it was only reasonable and the first word usually ends up being mama so I didn't stay down for long.

Nova said that since we are planning to have 2 more kids I have 2 more chances to be called first so that cheered me up a bit.

Aoede was about a year and 3 months old when she started saying her first words so it came as a surprise to the both of us when Luna Dora started showing signs of speaking with mumbling a few weeks ago – meaning before her first birthday which is today – so since I was around more I got my hopes up.

I had to fight the urge to tell Luna Dora to say the word dad or dada since Nova and I said even before we had Aoede that we will never press or push them to do anything, so we waited patiently for what she will say to us.

Luna Dora first surprised us when she was born and she came out with blue hair. The next thing was how fast her magic started to show by the baby powder and Aoede's toys flying around when we were changing her. Somehow, though, we haven't learned that she is full of surprises so when we were watching the telly and she started to make bubbles nobody expected her to say her first word let alone for it to be her sister's name.

First, she mumbled something, so we turned the volume down to encourage her to speak by talking to her. Nova was bouncing her on her legs, making Luna Dora laugh while she was watching her sister play with glitter and her unicorn plushie. I invited Aoede to join our little laughing party and as I called her name, Luna Dora started laughing uncontrollably and because Nova found it funny, she kept repeating the name of our firstborn.

Aoede was almost as confused as I was about what was going on but since Luna Dora's giggles filled the whole lower floor of the house, we started laughing as well. Aoede started repeating her name and in the midst of us having the best time as a family, Luna Dora spoke for the first time, calling her sister Dee-Dee.

The second the name came out of her mouth we all stopped and looked at the blue-haired girl who kept repeating the name and extended her arms to Aoede to hold her.

The second Nova noticed she had her mouth open and closed it, she glanced at me to see my reaction. I was as shocked as much as she was since we didn't think Luna Dora would actually say anything.

Without asking me how I feel about her first words, Nova said that perhaps she meant to say dada or that that is her version of it but Aoede was quick to point out that Luna Dora was saying the word while trying to get Aoede to hold her.

Aoede needed a minute to compose herself and realize what just happened, before clearing her throat and picking her little sister up, and taking her to her toys. The more Aoede talked to her, the more Luna Dora started to repeat her name and the whole situation was so cute that I completely forgot about my wish to be Luna Dora's first word.

That night, when the giggles stopped and we put our daughters to sleep, we knew that Aoede officially got herself a nickname. Nova was so excited about it that she sent letters to the entire family the next morning, and now, even though not even a week later, nobody is using Aoede's full name and she is doing nothing but being very proud about it.

“I am not grumpy about it.” I scoffed.

“Whatever, it's sweet that Luna Dora said Aoede's name first, admit it,” George said with a smug face.

“It's adorable but the wish is still there. You'll see when you'll be a dad.” I tried defending myself.

“I don't know if that is happening for me, Charlie.” George sighed.

“Oh, don't be so pessimistic. You still have time.” I tapped his back. “What happened between you and Angelina, didn't you say that your date went well?”

“It did. But she went to the Yule Ball with Fred and they went on a few dates so it's a bit weird that I'm dating her now.” George avoided looking me in the eyes.

“Yeah, but they weren't that serious, were they?”

“Not really but it's still strange.” George looked at me with pleading eyes as if waiting for my advice.

“Listen, you came to the wrong older brother for relationship advice.” I felt the heat on my cheeks.

“But you're married and have 2 kids. That's pretty successful if you ask me.” George wiggled his eyebrows.

“Yeah, well, I married my best friend. I was lucky. Besides the drama with McNully, I don't even know what heartbreak feels like.”

“You're right. You are kind of useless in that department.” George chuckled.

“In what department?” We both turned around when we heard Bill behind us.

“Uncle George!” Aoede called from the kitchen.

“Well, duty calls. Hi, Bill.” George waved at his eldest brother and walked to the kitchen.

“What department?” Bill asked again as he sat down next to me at the kitchen table.

“I think you need to talk to George about girls.” I sniggered.

“At this age?” Bill raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

“He thinks he shouldn't date Angelina because of Fred.”

“Oh, that. What do you think about it?” Bill was curious.

“He clearly likes her a lot so why not. Fred and Angie weren't that serious anyway.” I shrugged.

“True.” Bill narrowed his eyes thinking. “I'll talk to him later.”

“Thanks and welcome to the birthday party by the way.” I chuckled, pointing to the living room where Nova was sitting on the floor with Luna Dora in her lap, conversing with Fleur who was holding Victoire.

“Thank you! Nova said to put Luna Dora's gift into the guest room.” Bill grinned.

“You didn't have to get her anything. She's one.”

“Hey, we bring toys to Aoede all the time, we are not planning to only pamper her.” Bill winked.

“You didn't buy her glitter did you?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “The bottle you got Aoede for her 5th birthday is still sprinkled everywhere around the house.”

“Are you expecting me to apologize? “ Bill tried hard not to laugh.

“I woke up the other day with Nova laughing at my face and she didn't want to tell me what was going on so it wasn't until I looked at myself in the mirror when I was washing my teeth that I saw that I had a few glitter pieces in the middle of my forehead. I have no idea how it got there – it's just everywhere!” I slammed my hand against my forehead.

“Yeah, glitter does do that.” Bill let out a silent laugh knowing full well I would glare at him if he dared to laugh more.

“Just wait until Victoire turns 5 and I'll get my revenge!”

“Don't you even dare!”

“Oh, you'll see,” I smirked. “And if you didn't get Luna Dora glitter I thank you for whatever you got for her.” I put my arm around his shoulder.

“You're welcome.” Bill smiled and turned to where George and Aoede were making cookies.

“Are they making a cookie cake?” Bill giggled.

“Nah, Olivia made the cake, and mum brought all sorts of things so they are just sticking to good old cookies.”

“Are any of the lot coming?” Bill asked.

“Penny and Tulip?”

“Yeah?”

“We thought about inviting them at first, but it's Luna's first birthday and she won't even remember it and they were here for Aoede's birthday party.”

“Yeah, true.” Bill scratched his nose. “Listen, speaking of kids. Fleur and I want to talk to you and Nova about something.”

“Did you grow tired of Victoire already and want to give her to us?” I joked.

“No! She is the best thing that ever happened to us,” Bill said with scarlet cheeks.

“I was teasing you, Bill. I know you are just as manly about being a dad as I was when Aoede was born.”

“Right.” He chuckled nervously.

“So you were saying?” I encouraged him to speak further.

“We want to talk...”

“Daddy! Come and look at my cookies!” Aoede shouted from the kitchen, interrupting Bill.

“Char, could you get Luna Dora ready for her birthday party and I'll go with Aoede to change her clothes?” Nova asked from the living room.

“Dad duty calls.” I grinned at my brother. “Can we talk about this after the party?”

“Sure. Yeah, even better.” Bill nodded and we both got up.

I hurried to the kitchen for Aoede to show me her cookies before George put them in the oven and then brought her to Nova who gave me Luna Dora so we could get our girls ready for the celebration.

—

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Luna, happy birthday to you.”

Mum, dad, Olivia, and George were sitting on the sofa, Bill and Fleur were on the floor with Victoire, I was holding Aoede who was eating a cookie and Nova held Luna Dora while we were singing to her.

We all knew that she had no idea what was going on but she was giggling constantly and that makes the birthday party good enough of a success for us.

Aoede and I helped blew the candles and Nova helped her mum cut the cake. Despite being very excited to blow the candles for the second time this year, Aoede declined the cake and asked George to accompany her to the kitchen to get a cookie.

Both Luna Dora and Victoire fell asleep soon after. Aoede wanted to show George her glitter collection because for some reason he was the only one of her uncles who didn't see it yet and my mum and dad decided to take a walk.

“Now that we're alone, do you think we could have that talk?” Bill whispered to me, as we were both observing Aoede making glitter fly everywhere. “Sure.” I nodded and turned to him and Fleur.

Nova sat down next to me just in time to join the conversation and Bill cleared his throat as I wrapped my arms around my wife.

“Why are you zo nervous, William?” Fleur chuckled when Bill scratched his nose for the third time.

“I am not!” Bill lifted his chin in defense.

“Should I ask zem?” Fleur raised her eyebrows.

“What is this about?” Nova whispered to me.

“I have no idea. I just know they want to ask us something.”

“Nova, Charlie, we want you to be Victoire's godparents,” Fleur said casually.

“That's what you were nervous for?” I raised my eyebrows at Bill.

“Well, I didn't know how you'd react given that you asked us first and we're Aoede godparents,” Bill mumbled.

“What do you mean how we would react? We would love to!” Nova exclaimed.

“So you don't mind zat we are godparents to each other's children? I mean, you're godparents to Teddy, and Penny and Andre's son Max. We don't want to ask too much of you.” Fleur pressed her lips together.

“I don't mind at all. Soon, I'll have my own little army.” Nova giggled.

“At this point, it does seem as if we're trying to have our own little kindergarten.” I joked.

“Army, Char. Army. We strike at dawn.” Nova laughed mischievously.

“So, is that a yes?”Bill asked as he stopped laughing at how silly Nova was. “Of course, it is!” Nova and I said together.

“We would be honored and truth be told, we kind of expected it.” I sniggered. “You did?” Fleur asked.

“Yeah, we see each other often and Victoire adores us,” I explained.

“We knew it was going to be you before she was even born,” Bill admitted.

“As I said. We will take the role gladly.” I smiled at both of them and pulled them both into a hug.

“That reminds me. Did you pick Luna Dora's godparents?” Bill asked. “We did, we just didn't ask yet,” Nova answered.

“Right. We forgot about that!” I gasped.

“Hey, George!” I called his name.

“Busy right now, Charlie.” George who was sitting as still as possible because Aoede was drawing on his arm slightly turned his head to us.

“It's okay. No need to move. We were just wondering if you'd be Luna Dora's godfather?” Nova asked gently.

“What?” I had to hand it to George for not moving even the slightest at the question.

We have been debating who to choose for Luna's guardians for months. We ended up deciding between Ron and George because it seemed that Luna Dora liked them the most when we went to visit or when they were here.

In the end, Nova came to the final decision saying that George adores Aoede so much and she loves spending time with him and there is no doubt in her mind that Luna wouldn't feel the same way and I had to agree with her that even though Ron would have loved the title, with everything that George went through and how much he loves to come and visit us, it would mean more to him.

See him shake from excitement but not move at the same time not to disturb our firstborn at her work, only proved to us more that we made the right decision and we're planning to have another child anyway, perhaps Ron will get his turn.

“I-I don't know what to say.” George tried looking at us despite facing in the other direction.

“You don't have to if you don't want to,” Nova said gently.

“Oh, no! I would love to. In my head, I am already calling myself godfather.” George sniggered. “It's just...I didn't expect this at all. Why choose me?”

“I thought that was obvious. The girls love you and you love spending time with them both.” I explained our decision.

“I do. They are the best!” He moved slightly as he tried to smile at us, receiving a glare from Aoede.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Did I ruin anything?” George apologized.

“No, I know how to fix it. Dad moves all the time.” Aoede sighed and frowned in concentration as she got back to work.

—

“Thank you for this.” George pulled me in the tightest embrace I have ever gotten from him as he was saying goodbye the next day.

“George, we told you that you're a perfect fit. You're great with kids.” I hugged him back.

“No, Charlie, I am serious. You have no idea how much this means to me.” He swallowed thickly as he finished speaking and as I pulled away I saw his eyes were filled with tears.

“I know, George. That's one of the reasons we chose you.” I whispered to him and pulled him in for another hug and smiled.

After a year and a half after the battle, George was doing much better and I knew he was going to be excited about being a godparent but seeing it mean so much to him simply warmed my heart, and any time that I could make one of my brothers excited and smile as George did right now, I felt as if I accomplished something great and there was nothing better besides having my own family than to make the ones back at home happy too.

[chaos-writes-fanfiction]

I Don’t want to lose you

Pairings: Tanaka × Fem!reader

Warnings: none tiny bit of angst it you look really hard and some friendly cuddles

You sigh deeply as you flop onto one of your best friends bed.

“This sucks” you mumble

“What does?” Tanaka asked

“Being in love with someone who I’ll never feel the same” you said

“Oh this again” he said

“Yes this again” you said

This hasn’t been this first time you’ve had a conversation similar to this with your long time friend. He knows of the person you’re so in love with except of who they actually are. But little does he know you are actually meaning him. That you’ve been in love with him for a while now.

“Why don’t you just confess and tell this person you love them?” He asked

“Its not that easy, this kind of confession can go one of two ways” you said

“Which are?” He asked

“One they feel the same and have the same feelings” you said “or two they dont, they completely reject my feelings and they now feel guilty or it ruins the current standing friendship”

“I didnt think about it that way, if you have a current friendship with them that can make things different” he said

You sit up and sigh tearing your hand through your hair. And start getting up.

“Where you going?” He asked

“I’m not leaving the house, I’m just going to try and talk to Saeko” you said

“good luck” he said smiling a little as he turned on his TV

You walk out of his room and knock on Saekos door.

“Come in” she said

You walk in and immediately climb into her open arms and hug her

“What’s wrong?” She asked rubbing your back

“Hes so stupid” you mumble

“Ryu?” She asked

“Yes” you nod

“Well, hes an idiot, but I know you love him” she said “why dont you go out on a date with someone else?”

“Who?” You asked

“Why not with Sugawara?” She asked

“I mean hes cute, and very caring” you said

“I’ll call him, study date?” She asked

“Sure” you said a slight smile on your lips.

She pulls away and grabs her phone she had abandoned beside her when you walked in. She opened her phone and dialed his number.

“Hey Sugawara, its Saeko” she said you take her phone

“Hey Suag” you said

“Oh hey, what’s up?” He asked

“So I was wondering if you wanted to go to this really cute cafe by the school to have a study date, since midterm exams are coming up?” You asked

“Oh sure, I wouldn’t mind a study date with my favorite manager” he said “isnt that one the one with cats?”

“Yes it is I hope that’s not a issue” you said

“No not at all, tomorrow after school?” He asked

“What about practice?” You asked

“Oh didnt you get the text?” He asked

“What text? I’m in Saekos room I must have left it in the other room” you said

“Oh coach sent out a text we aren’t having practice because exams are coming up” he said

“Oh yes then tomorrow after school” you said

“Great, I’ll pick you up from your class” he said

“I’ll see you then, bye Suga” you said

“Bye” he said

You hang up and give Saeko her phone back. She hugged you tightly

“Yay I’m happy for you!” She yelled

“I’m surprised he said yes” you said

“Why?” She asked “you’re so freaking cute, sweet, and caring. Why wouldn’t he say yes?”

“I guess I should’ve known better than try to compete with Kiyoko for Ryu’s attention” you sighed deeply

“Stop that” she scolded you “my brother is an idiot for not noticing you like that, who know you going out with Suga tomorrow might make him notice you that way”

You shrugged a little bit and look at the time.

“Its getting late I should get home” you said

“You can stay if you want” she offered “go to school with Ryu?”

“Fine, I’ll go shower then, will you call my mom?” You asked

“Yeah grab some of my clothes to sleep in” she said

You nod and grab some of her clothes to sleep in, and walk out going to the bathroom. You close the door and undress after turning on the water for it to heat up. After getting in and doing your normal routine you get out and dry off and change. You walk out still drying your hair with a towel when you bump into Tanaka.

“Oh hey” you said

“Hey, you’re sleeping over?” He asked

“Yeah saeko offered” you said

“Nice” he said “wanna come watch me kick noyas ass at video games?”

“Sure why not” you said

You follow him back to his room and lay down on his bed as he sits on the floor with his back against the bed. You watch him for a bit before falling asleep on his bed.

“Did you see that?” He asked excited turning towards you when you didn’t respond. “Oh you’re asleep, Noya I’m getting off she fell asleep on my bed and I dont want to wake her”

He turned off his console and TV. He covered you up and left his room. The next morning you wake up and see you’re still in Tanakas room but hes no where to be seen. You get up and get ready for school putting on some tights since it’s a little chilly in the mornings.

“Morning” you said seeing tanaka

“Hey” he said

“Where did you sleep?” You asked

“Couch” he said

“You could’ve kicked me out of your bed” you said

“Its fine one night on the couch wont kill me” he said “besides you looked too peaceful to disrupt that”

“Oh” you said

You quickly eat breakfast and walk to school with Tanaka.

“Are you going to study with me and Noya tonight?” He asked

“Oh actually I have a study date with Suga” you said “so I’ll be studying with him”

He frowned for a moment “oh” he said nodding

“What?” You asked “it’s just Suga hes not going to do anything weird were just studying”

“Its nothing, I guess I’ve just gotten used to you studying with me and Noya” he said

“Oh, I’ll study with you guys later” you said

You keep walking when you see Suga waiting for you at the gate. You run ahead leaving Tanaka behind with Noya.

“Morning Suga” you said

“Good morning, coffee?” He asked handing you a cup

“You’re too sweet” you said taking it and taking a drink “how’d you know my favorite?”

“I might have asked Yachi” he said scratching the back of his neck “can I walk you to class?”

“Yeah I’d like that” you said smiling

You spend your day going through your classes and spent lunch with Suga, Daichi and Asahi. Enjoying your time spent with them. However not noticing that Tanaka was upset that you weren’t spending time with him.

As promised Suga showed up at your class to pick you up for your study date.

“Are you ready?” He asked smiling

“Yes” you said smiling back “bye Noya, bye Tanaka”

You got up and left walking with Suga. When you get to the cafe with him you get a table and sit side by side each taking up half the table going over your books and notes as you study. After a couple hours you decied to stop and lean back.

“You doing okay?” He asked

“Mhmm” you yawn as you stretch a little bit

“Break?” He asked

“Yeah” you said softly leaning forward laying your head on the table

He reaches over and starts rubbing your back “is this okay?” He asked

“Yes its okay” you said turning your head to look at him smiling slightly.

“Can I be so bold to try something else?” He asked

You nod a little bit sitting back up. He gently touches your cheek and kisses your lips lightly. You close your eyes and kiss him back. When suddenly theres a commotion outside and you turn to look out the window pulling away from the kiss but you don’t see anything.

“Did you see what happened?” You asked cheeks flushed from the kiss

“I thought I saw someone but I’m not too sure” he said

“Oh” you said

“How about i walk you home now?” He asked

You nod and you both start packing up your books and notes. You leave and walk with Suga.

“Thank you for studying with me” you said

“Of course, I should thank your for asking me” he said

“You live two houses down from Tanaka right?” He asked

“Yes why?” You ask and look and see Tanaka sitting on your front steps “oh”

“I’ll text you later” he said

“Okay thank you for everything today” you said

He smiled warmly and left going towards his house. You walk up your steps.

“Hey Tanaka” you said taking a seat beside him

“Are you and Suga dating now?” He asked

“No” you said “we just had our study date today”

“You had spent a lot of time with him today” tanaka pointed out

“Yes I did, he asked me this morning when he walked me to class where he asked me to figure out which subjects I needed his help with. And at lunch we talked about that and some volleyball stuff with Daichi and Asahi” you said

“I saw that he kissed you” he grumbled

Your eyes widened “you caused the commotion outside of the cafe, but I didn’t see you” you said

“I ran off after seeing it” he said

“Tanaka, be honest why are you upset that I spent the day with Suga instead of you?” You asked softly

“I didnt realize it until Noya pointed it out when you left to have lunch with him that I was jealous of Suga” he said “he was getting all of your time and attention, I didn’t like that”

“It was just one day” you said “you have my attention all the time”

“I only want you to pay attention to me” he said

You sighed a little bit and rub your face

“Tanaka what are you saying?” You asked “you’re mad I spent the day with Suga and he got a kiss? But you want me to pay attention to you?”

“Yes” he said

“Let me ask you something” you said “what about Kiyoko?”

“What about her?” He asked

“Nevermind” you said standing up and unlocking door

“Can I come in?” He asked

“Not tonight” you said “I have somethings to think about”

He nodded and kicked a rock as you watched him walk home. You go inside the house and go to your room. After a little while you get a phone call.

“Hello?” You answer

“How’d it go with Suga?” Saeko asked

You tell her what happened and about Tanaka sitting in front of your house.

“That explains him being grumpy when he came home” she said

“What do I do?” You asked

“Well, you’re not dating either of them” she said “but at the same time neither if them have asked you to be theirs”

“Yeah” you said

“Come over” she said

“Okay” you said “I’ll change and come over”

You hang up and get changed into a pair of sweat pants and a tank top. Then run out the house going to Tanakas house. You knock on the door and wait a few minutes before Tanaka opens the door.

“What are you doing here?” He asked

“I only asked Suga for the study date to make you jealous” you blurted out

“Make me jealous why?” He asked frowning

“How stupid are you Ryu?” Saeko asked “should I tell him?”

“I’ll do it” you said

“What are you talking about?” He asked

“God, I’m in love with an idiot” you mumble “I’m in love with you, I have since our first year”

“The guy I’ve listened to you whine about is me?” He asked

“I really like you more than friends but I don’t want to lose you” you said looking down

“Dont look down” he said tilting your up

You met his eyes and he leaned down kissing your lips his other hand going to your waist pulling you close. This kiss felt different than the one you shared with Suga. This one you felt his fiery passion you saw on the volleyball court when he played. He slowly pulled away. And pressed his forehead against yours.

“I have feelings for you too” he said “I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I dont want to lose you, will you please be mine?”

“Yes” you whispered nodding

He grinned and kissed your lips again. This time picking you up and having you wrap your legs around his waist as he took you to his room. Once in his room he laid you down and cuddled with you resting his head on your chest. And you run your hands over his shaved head and his back.

“I’m sorry it took me getting jealous and thinking I was going to lose you to realize how much I need you” he said

“You aren’t going to lose me” you said leaning down and kissing his head