#but he’s a funny depressing old sounding man and I like that lol

[mc-tummy-blur]

Day 8 of Cringetober : Tumblr Sexyman Featuring Fictional Adulthood Crush The Narrator from The Stanley Parable

Click for better quality (though there’s no real point for this one I guess)

Ko-fi

[luc1ferian]

Hi I'm thinking about writing a h2g2 and gravity falls crossover fic. I saw your post awhile ago and I was wondering if you had any idea on how the two fords would interact.

Oooh this is a really good idea!

Hm, I haven't properly watched Gravity Falls in a while (I KNOW IM SORRY), but comparing their personalities from what i know they have a couple similarities and differences.

For first interactions I'm not entirely sure how or where, neither of them are naturally social but if someone were to start a conversation it would be Prefect, and once they realize they're both named Ford P. they'd hit off perfectly.

I think they'd love to go out for a small drink and talk about their outlooks on life, about space, their own traumas and relationships, about their research and studies with their respective books (Pines to the Journals, and Prefect to the Guide), and about their plans for future. This interaction could also be a lot funnier depending on the tone you wanted to take.

Ooooh they could also rant about their annoying family members (Zaphod and Stan)

They would also engage in an epic game of Dungeons & More Dungeons no doubt

[one-in-a-million-fishsticks]

The dichotomy between game!Alucard and show!Alucard is so funny to me.

Like on one end of the spectrum you have the game version, who is much older and more jaded. By the time Trevor, Grant, and Sypha show up he's basically already reached the stage that we see him at as of Nocturne in the show's continuity. Homeboy has seen some shit, and he has a hell of a complex. He's on some grizzled "I've already killed at least a few enemies, what difference will Dracula make?" type shit, he's sick and tired of that old man. Patricide? Sounds great, Belmont! Thanks for coming. I know that this was a totally different and generally underdeveloped version of Alucard character-wise, but he was DOWN TO CLOWN on Dracula in Castlevania III, bestie was ready.

Then, on the other end of the spectrum, we have the show version. Giving off a lot more sad puppy energy than his counterpart, like Castlevania III Alucard had remorse too, but it was WAY less. He's a lot more open about his feelings in that Sypha knows the depression when she sees it, and he definitely acts like a 19-year-old about to commit patricide would. Not helping matters is the fact that show!Dracula was previously way more human and caring than game!Dracula, both versions had it coming but game!Dracula lacked most of show!Dracula's redeeming qualities.

I'm just so enthralled by the possible dynamics between game!Alucard and the other misfits. Obviously everybody is MUCH different in the games, not just Alucard, so that would have a pretty strong influence on the relationships. Game!Trevor, for example, is way more open to forming alliances and a lot less jaded than his show counterpart. Which is hilarious in and of itself, because he basically swaps coping mechanisms with Alucard personality-wise (trying to keep people at an arms length).

All of this to say that game!Trevor probably looked at game!Alucard and said "LOL, hey Sypha? I bet that I can domesticate this one!!!"

[velvetvexations]

Really love how every time I argue with people on here about how actually trans men do not generally have it meaningfully better than trans women, people avoid actually explaining their points or providing sources and start calling me a little boy. Very fun. Love that. It's so fun to be insulted for asking asking people to explain their point

No one can actually explain that.

rhea ripley is so hot. and for what

for me to be all Weird Trans Woman about her

Honestly as an non binary person, I feel more and more pushed out of the community with the serious adherence to the binary. "if you Id as this you MUST be this thing, you're you're a liar and a faker and you're hurting other trans people" that, and the denial of trans men's oppression. It's just cruel and bitter, and seeing other trans people go down this path is pretty disheartening

it's so depressing

Well, you see, it's not like saying they're transitioning from black to white, because OBVIOUSLY, just like race, your soulgender is immediately apparent to everyone as soon as you plop out the womb

lmao so true

(also I've heard soulgender is a Black thing and it should be spelled with like, a space or a hyphen? so I'm probably gonna do that from now on)

"Trans men are the White People of the trans community" Oh okay so yeah this is just "Ace people are the White People of the Queer Community" all over again huh Begging other whities to stop comparing race and gender like this, makes you look stupid as fuck

pls

Fascinated to know if the "All trans women are nonbinary" crowd also believe all trans men are nonbinary

you'd think so the way they insist trans men cling to being AFAB lmao

Went to check /-/'s blog and she's reblogging pro Chat-GPT and anti-copyright posts now

I'm tapping the sign.

as a nonbinary thing i feel like so much tma/tme shit just completely fucking forgets us like im not „occasionally mistaken as a trans woman” its a fucking coin flip!!!!!!!! my „AGAB” doesbt matter 2 ppl outside the the internet!!!!! all that matters is no matter what i wear no one wants me i their bathroom!!!!!

people don't even just hate you for when they mistake you for a trans woman anon they hate non-binary people AFAB too

i kinda feel like the discourse is becoming more mainstream now. im seeing a lot of trans bloggers who dont post much about trans issues making posts about it (usually along the lines of "can we be normal about trans guys please" which is nice)

good maybe the backlash will finally kick in

Idk if this is me generalizing but I’ve started noticing that headcanons of canonically male characters as trans women that get traction are usually skinny and have trauma or coded with anxiety or depression. Like idk if that means literally anything but just a weird observation I had

a lotta people on here literally define being a woman as when bad things happen to you lmao

I was looking at the Patricia Taxxon stuff (funny enough, did actually see you @ ed in deleted replies) and I saw the sentence “However, being discriminated on the basis of being perceived as a manly woman is just an adverse effect of transmisogyny directed towards trans men.” Which. Hey now. What about butch women. Like how does that not uniquely apply to cis butch lesbians, even if we ignore trans men entirely.

MAINSTREAM SOCIETY LOVES TOMBOYS

Man. It really sucks when a popular-ish figure you look up to turns out to be transandrophobic. Should have seen it coming ig. She was intersexist too, and those often go hand in hand.

well I mean it sounds like you shouldn't have looked up to her already lmao

IIRC from old drama, Patricia Taxxon also thinks toxic masculinity isn't a real thing that can harm men because it's just splash damage from misogyny and they should get over it, lol, so I'm not surprised if she's turned out to be weird about trans men

lmao literally just that radfem-libfem feminism-is-for-women comic huh

Tragic: local man forced to actually read Serano's writing for the theory he's trying to make even though the way she talks about transmasculinity and female gender nonconformity gives him a headache

F

[calcitedraws]

FENS DIARY

Tw: Mentions of death, suicide, depression, brief mentions of sexuality and Fen being generally sort of creepy and trying to rationionalize it.

Around 2,300 words

This was supposed to be a few entries and I got too invested lol and I use y/n because I'm old school. Also when Fen says 'Im not a girl' that isn't indicating a bio or gender identity I was just including the fact that they're nonbinary.

November 17th

I haven't written in a while, eh? After… what happened I sort of shut down for a while. Even now I want to shut down, but my dad always said I should face things head on. Ok, as my therapist used to say: if I don't know how to word something I should just say it as plainly as I can to get started.

I'm in pain.

I can't sleep I can't eat and I can't fucking breathe. The only person making sure I have a moderately healthy sleep/wake cycle is Dandelion, and even then he doesn't seem to mind if I sleep on the couch all day as long as he's fed.

I'm packing to head down to the funeral and I came by my journal. I don't even know why I'm doing this. This is fucking stupid.

I'm scared of seeing them. I haven't seen my mom or siblings in… 5 odd years? I never even came out to them. I'll have to explain so much that I'm just not in the goddamn mood to. I don't even think they want to see me. Dad told me that once they figured out the whole situation that they didn't take it well.

Dandelion keeps curling up in my suitcase. If he behaved better in crates, I'd bring my little man with. But he chews on the bars and yowls, so I'm leaving him at one of those pet boarding places.

November 19th

I don't want to go tomorrow. I'm sitting here at this shitty hotel desk that's sticky in this shitty hotel room that smells like booze and mothballs. There's a weird mark on the carpet and I can't decide if it's old blood or a shit stain. Either way it's suspiciously big. The people in the other room keep having really loud and bad sounding sex, all the damn time. Like, literally, their headboard is apparently against the same spot as mine, because the thumping keeps me awake. I tried to move my bed and found another stain that I'm convinced is blood. I put the bed back and slept on the tiny couch in the room. I'm pretty sure there's bedbugs on every fabric surface.

OH MY GOD THOSE TWO ASSHATS ARE HAVING SEX AGAIN!!! WHY ARE THEY BLASTING THAT ONE SONG FROM SHREK 2 I HATE THIS HOTEL

November 20

I'm just sitting here. At this sticky desk again. I don't think I can do this. It's 3:30 AM and I can't go back to sleep. Waiting for my sleeping meds to kick in.

My therapist always said that the best time to journal about something is when it's the hardest to think about.

I wish I had someone. I like to think soulmates exist. Maybe Dad was right and that's all horse shit. Maybe I should just throw myself into oncoming traffic instead of going to his funeral.

I've been paying more attention to cars recently. Funny how many look like my dad's.

I think the meds are kicking in? No clue, maybe I'm just too angry to think.

—---------------

It's 8:10 AM and I need to leave in 20 minutes.

I've decided to go, because I owe it to him. I think I'd hate myself more if I didn't go.

What do I even do if I see my mom again? Is she even my mom? Am I allowed to wave if she spots me? Will she even recognize me. I can recognize her. I've been cyber talking her Facebook. Her husband and her just got back from a weekend trip to the Bahamas.

I haven't dared look for my siblings. I miss Sherry.

Had to take a minute to reign myself in.

I'm glad my aunt (my dad's sister) took care of the funeral prep. Shes nice. Haven't talked to her in a half a decade, I should send a nice letter after the funeral.

The thought of coming back to that house alone is killing me. No more face times. No more random phone calls. No more sending him pictures of weird stuff Dandelion did.

I need to head out soon. My hair is greasy. My eyes hurt. I look like shit. But I have to go.

I forgot to charge my phone last night but there should be enough juice in it to get me there and back. Don't know where I'm headed since I've never been here. My dad said I wouldn't like where he lived because it's crowded. Maybe I can just throw myself into oncoming traffic after.

—----------------

I think I met an angel.

I got lost after the funeral and my phone died. I started crying in the middle of the side walk like some fucking weirdo when I spotted them.

They were so cute, in their cozy sweater and jeans. They asked what was wrong and I said I was lost and that my phone died.

They actually lead me back to the hotel! Apparently they live here in the city too but near the outskirts. I never got their name, I'm such a fucking idiot.

I've always felt like there's been a wall between me and other people. But with them… I didn't feel that. I felt I had known them all my life.

Shit, here I am rambling about someone I just met after going to my dad's funeral.

It was awkward. Like, painfully awkward. No one approached me. My dad's funeral was closed casket, which all things considered, makes sense. But I felt like if I opened that casket it'd be empty. It was a weird feeling.

I didn't know any of his friends and only Sherry showed up to the funeral. I don't know why but that somehow made everything worse. Sherry couldn't even look at me. I didn't stick around long afterwards. She looks so different from when I last saw her (why did she go blonde?) but I recognized her instantly.

I'm packing up to head home. I technically don't need to go until tomorrow but the longer I stay here the more I feel the need to itch the back of my throat with a shotgun. At least at home I can cry into Dandelions fluffy belly.

January 8th

—------------------

Guess who's forced me out of rotting in my bed? My boss threatening to fire me if I don't log on and do my job!

A fair point, but fuck him anyway.

I said I'd log on today and he seemed satisfied.

So here I am instead, procrastinating. I can't keep my eyes open for very long. I mean, I logged on and have been reading meeting notes. That's progress.

Dandelion has been very accommodating with allowing me to randomly pick him up and cry loudly into his fur.

Oh! I found a new cat! Her name is Queenie and she's a little black cat. I found her right outside the hotel I was staying at before the funeral. I thought she had that lethal cat bloat I had heard about, but she was just really pregnant! Like, ready to pop pregnant. She gave birth on Christmas and now I have a small army of tiny black and orange kittens! I woke up to 6 of them on Christmas morning. They're all so small and cute and they won't stop meowing very very loudly. I got Queenie spayed as quickly as I could afterwards.

Queenie warmed up to my quickly despite being a stray. I named her that because she's a little diva. The amount of times I had to separate her and Dandelion from fighting over mutually favorited spots is well, embarrassing since these are two adults. But now? Queenie just lays on top of Dandelion and he seems to enjoy it.

Why am I jealous of two cats?

January 15th

—----------------

Oh my God I found them. The person who saved me and lead me back to the hotel, I found them!

Ok, so, I'm a penetration tester, which means I hack into systems. It's boring so I never talk about it. But, the job we were handed made us pen test a random hospital and I found them! They went in for a checkup recently and I found their data while spelunking! I took a picture of their government ID before I could stop myself.

I can't believe I found them! I clicked on a random name because I liked the way it looked and it leads me right to them! I know it's them, because the ID card looks like them and says they live near where they said they did.

I've been looking at our star signs. I also found their social media and they're so chatty! I think they just think their friends are watching because they post sporadically. I scrolled through everything I could find during my lunch break.

Oh my God I sound insane. This is insane and totally illegal. I need to step back and calm down.

January 25th

—----------

I tried!! Couldn't step back couldn't calm down. I've been cyber talking a stranger for like, a week now.

But I've come to a revelation: I'm very greasy. I haven't showered in… no clue to be honest. I only realized because I accidentally leaned against the sliding glass door and my head left a strong imprint on the glass.

I haven't changed my bedsheets in a while either. Or vacuumed, or cleaned the kitchen, or swept the patio. So instead of any of that I have spent the entire afternoon paralyzed on the couch in sustained fear. Dandelion has joined me.

February 4th

—----------------

I finally got fed up of being greasy and took an actual shower instead of sitting under the water staring at the floor and disassociating for like, half an hour. The sheer amount of dead skin I scrubbed off is embarrassing.

*Y/n* (the name of my angel) talked about spring cleaning early online. They even have the link to their favorite songs to listen to while cleaning. I recognize some of the songs but most of them are new to me. Maybe if I listen to the playlist it'll make me want to clean?

Update: It did. Managed to clean the kitchen and living room before getting tired. Maybe I should start working out again…?

Feb 14th

—-------------

Y/n is single! (Very good information to know)

When I clean I just put y/n’s play list on and I'm suddenly full of energy.

I think it eases the loneliness. I miss my dad.

Feb 20th

—--------------

I've discovered something about myself that I can't unlearn. I think I have a praise kink?? I was watching my favorite show with Dandelion and one of the characters that kind of looks y/n said ‘good girl' to the main character and. I got so horny I had to pause the show and sit in silence. I'm not even a girl. What the fuck just happened? I think the cats know because they've been staring at me judgementally all afternoon.

March 1st

—-------------

Lasagna is my enemy.

April 29th

—------------

It was my dad's birthday yesterday. He would've been 46 today.

I sort of shut down for the entire month, again. House is a fucking mess. Only think I can manage is taking care of the cats, who don't seem to mind the mess.

I just wish I had someone. The house is pretty quiet. Sometimes I put the TV on to avoid how quiet it is. I miss talking to my dad, about literally anything. The weather, what my cats were up to, about my dad's new girlfriend of the week, literally anything. I miss how funny he was. I remember when I was in secondary school how him and I would watch TV every Friday night and eat Mac n cheese from the box.

May 1st

—--------------

I think I'm in love with y/n?? Is that a thing you can do? I had a dream we went on a date to a coffee shop and then we went home and made dinner and I kept making them laugh and smile and when I woke up I just burst out sobbing. I literally couldn't calm down for who knows how long.

But I want something like that! I want it so badly! I want to make them dinner while they talk with me! I want to cozy up to them on the couch while watching a movie! I want to hear them breathe next to me at night!

So I might've done something maybe unethical. I located their IP Address. Which isn't bad since I already know their physical address and their safe with me and it's not like it's illegal to find it!

May 10th

—------

So I did something stupid. I did something really fucking stupid I hacked into their email. All it took was a phishing scheme and bam, I was in. And Lord knows how everything is connected to emails nowadays. I'm a criminal now. I've been reading their emails for like, three hours. I mean… the government can like totally see your emails so it's not that big of a deal?? Right???

Oh my God I'm a criminal now!

But I'm learning so much!

May 18th

—-----

The time has come. Queenies kittens have all found new homes, I can't have all these cats in the house. But I kept my favorite kitten; Cali, the little calico. Short of Hotel California, My dad's favorite song.

Cali is a menace against society. He's chewn through wires, eaten pillows, and I've had to take him to the vet twice for eating batteries. I don't think another family can handle him.

I like to think he gets this from Dandelion, who despite being well over ten years old still chews on wooden furniture.

June 19th

—-------

I've been trying to find a way to say this that doesn't sound bad. But like, I literally can't? So I'll just say it.

I broke into y/n’s phone.

I'm not doing anything bad! I just want to see what they're up to! I won't use this to hurt them so it isn't bad, is it?

I've been watching them play candy crush for 45 minutes. They're bad at candy crush but something about that is so cute! I've downloaded candy crush. Maybe I can play the same levels at the same time as them…?

I've also been eating meals with them. They watch stuff on their phone as they eat and I've started eating at a regular schedule again. But their diet sucks so much?? Why the fuck are they eating gas station sushi so often? I'm scared they'll get worms!!

July 1st

—----------

What if my cats tell me neighbor I got high???

July 2nd

—----------

So um, I tried edibles for the first time yesterday. You'll never guess how it went.

Anyways, high me decided that cleaning the entire house was their sole mission. Thank you, high me.

July 19th

—---------

I finally gathered the courage to go into my old room.

I only had the attic room because everyone had their own rooms and I was sick of sharing with Sherry. So, my dad fixed up the attic and gave that room to me for my 10th birthday. When everyone left, I took over Sherry's old room. Mom only left the mattress and headboard, so it didn't feel like Sherry's anymore. All that's left is the thumbtacks from her old posters.

Anyway, my old room is just how I left it. Dusty, but the same. I even found Howie, my old plushie! I took all of Howie's stuffing out and it's in the wash right now, but they still have the old lavender satchet I put in them. I don't know what to replace it with, to be honest.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: #36

36. FINLAND Windows95Man - "No Rules!" 19th place

Decade ranking: 143/153 [Above Nadir, below Let3]

Okay so, I promised in Saturday's post that I would try to be positive, but I may already have to rescind on that promise lol. (the "lol" is for punctuation because I definitely did not laugh.) "No rules!" stinks and has very few redeeming qualities. 🙂 Natalia was right, she WAS robbed by a Nudist Demon!

For real, does anyone over the age of twenty-five enjoy this dumpster fire? If so, fukk meee. LOVE YOURSELVES.

As I noted in my UMK review back in Feb:

I have difficulty buying into this hyperactive ball of bad taste. “Fuck The System” always feels like the go-to message of individuals that fail to fit into social structures that aren’t fully of their own shaping. For an entry that’s all “live as you like, there’s no rules!” in its messaging, these two look like they conform to just about every styling and behavioural rule associated with Zoomer culture: A total disregard for general aesthetics over a dumbed-down drone of a beat because everything is ironic and nothing is to be taken seriously.  It is a depressing take on life. Yeah sure, a bit of camp levity is welcome in this loathesome world, but any happy song that weaponizes irony like this one trends towards encouraging irresponsibility, cynicism and nihilism. Some things DO matter in life, you know? You need to afford your bills and groceries, charge your social batteries, cultivate your friendships, or else you’ll wind up living alone in a van, down by the river. But if the latter life appeals to you, then this is the entry for you, I guess. For me though; this contest is already has one Joost Klein. Let’s not add a second one from Finland.

Funny how I nailed that even before knowing the full extent of it. I ofc vastly underestimated how bad the live would be, and as soon as I'd seen it my scepsis immediately supernova'd into intense HATRED. If ONLY "Paskana" hadn't been weak as piss. Yes, the cringe in "No Rules!" is deliberate, obviously, I have a sense of humour. Having a sense of humour is why I hate it? How much "deliberated cringe" can one tolerate before concluding "nope, this is r o t t e n." Does it start with

THE BAD GUNTER IMPRESSION?

or

THE DONALD DUCKING?

or

CALLING HIMSELF" A QUEEN"?

or

screaming "SEE ME SLAYYYY" :proceeds to not slay: ?

It definitely ends in whatever this shot is supposed to be.

Humour is subjective sure enough, and Windowsninetycringeman's jokes fall flatter than a pancake á moi. Why is everything denim? Why is this THIRTY-NINE YEAR OLD MAN still engaging in toilet humour and internet speak? Grow the f up? The art lies in the execution and Finland showed neither. I do NOT like Europapa much, but having Finland and not Netherlands in the final vibes wrong on so many levels. Europapa at least had a clear plan and delivered its nonsense in contained, piecemeal doses? It was COMPETENT in what it attempted to be (A Televote Winner), not a lazy amalgation of simple-minded drunk jokes strung together over a Planet of The Bass megamix as some sort of a Hail Mary. Joost and Teemu represent the Expectations/Reality divide of Zoomer Nonsense and it was darksided that only the latter got to compete for points. But on top of that, Teemu was generally just full of shit? Hooray, an Old Millennial engaging in Zoomer Cringe who lets an actual zoomer do all the vocal heavy lifting, without giving him a single featuring credit. Yay! It's a painfully accurate depiction of what being a zoomer is like, but not an intentional one.

Also remember when Teemu said he would "try to discreetly approach the other contestants to find ways to show support for Palestine" (remember that this contest was supposed to be 'not political'?) Hm yes discreet. So discreet he declared his intentions to interviewers so that everyone would know it was HIS idea. "Discreet", human please. And the result of all that talk was...

(lol I'm SO making it sound like I care about what political standpoints any of these acts took, and I don't. But I do call out a fraud when I spot one.)

Yeah well thanks for trying, but I'd rather you hadn't. A statement you can apply to my feelings of the entry overall. Okay, we've reached full circle, time to move on to our designated palate cleanser because THIS page is a safe zone for people of good taste.

The universe where YLE overrules the results and sends THEM to ESC is the one where we head to Helsinki twice in a row.

THE RANKING

[sequestered-song-skirmish]

Round 2 Poll 29

Straight People… Am I Right!?!：　「funny song title name. also a good song」

Rum and Cigar：　「Listen. LISTEN. I am the ONLY fucking views on like HALF of his music on youtube, and on a good chunk of the rest of it there was only one single lonely view before me. He has an avg 10 monthly spotify listeners (tho i dont use spotify, it just showed up when i googled his name). Apparently yt music doesnt add to normal youtube statistics, but I like his music and I have literally NOBODY to talk to about it 😭 I stumbled across him completely by accident, and it was this song, and it's still my favourite (tho Revy and Underbart Kaos are also up there). Technically it's a christmas song, but it's so interesting and not traditionally christmas-y and I love it. It has a nice latin beat and it's one of those groovy fun depressed songs lol (sound vs lyrics). Please PLEASE give him a chance even tho there is absolutely zero chance anyone else is going to submit him. Unless my rec a while back on a popular tumblr post asking for obscure music actually reached someone but I doubt it. I will champion this old swedish man even if nobody else will!! I have no idea about how many listens it has on spotify, and youtube music doesn't give stats, but the youtube video for this song has only 94 views, so surely in the limits even with the other platforms. It's by far the most popular video he has on his channel.」

Previous propaganda

[nebulousfishgills]

for the random ask game!

2, 4, 5, 26, 35, 43, 58

Thanks bestie! The other asks are gonna get done eventually, brain has just noooot been letting me do shit lol.

2 - Do you have an accent?

Not really. Although technically my state has an "accent" that people kind of unofficially adopted. Sometimes my "a's" sound like "o's." It's not like southerners saying "wooter" and not "water," but the most obvious example is saying the name of my state itself.

4 - Have you ever slapped anybody?

I don't think so. Definetly not in a real, serious way, but I can't remember if I've done a stage slap or not.

5 - Did you learn a skill or get a new hobby during lockdown?

Honestly... I don't think so. Lockdown was really hard on me even being as big of an introvert as I am. I was depressed and mostly did what was familiar rather than doing new things. I've blocked most of 2020 out tbh.

26 - Have you ever won a contest?

Actually yes! Our big botanical gardens was opening a kids area and they needed a name for their mascot, a Marmot. The name I suggested was picked and I was there to attend the grand opening. It was televised and everything. I was gifted a marmot plush that I still have to this day (this was thirteen years ago).

I went there a couple years ago and the kids' section is still there and the mascot is still around here and there, although I don't think my name is anywhere. I can't even find articles about it.

Here's the little lad:

35 - Favorite dessert?

Fuckin Cinnamon Buns. I could eat so many of those, especially the ones from Cinnabon.

43 - Is there a movie you detest for a very specific reason?

Fucking "Sound of Freedom." As most of you know, I worked at a movie theatre this past summer and it was the bane of my existence. It's about child trafficking and it released on the fourth of july. And as you know, Americans see the word Freedom and go ape shit. And it's a very specific crowd: Conservatives. Your religious grandparents, military members, Blue Line Supporters...

And the tRump/QAnon crowd.

I extend my customer service to everyone but these people were/are ASSHOLES. Getting mad at me when showings were sold out (my co worker even had people ask if she could *move other people* from their seats so she could sell them to this old bat and whoever was with her).

On my last day I had two women buy tickets for it and try to trick me into free food by saying they ordered pretzel bites when they most certainly didn't, thinking I was too stupid to realize otherwise... I read their order back to them twice and they said it was fine both times. Jokes on them cause I rang them up in a separate order so they still paid...

Oh and our ushers have seen SEVERAL religious pamphlets and scriptures left behind on the seats.

But it did lead to this funny story:

When I was working on the 4th of July, every showing was full or almost full. This one dude with a Trump hat and a cross around his neck the size of my palm asked about a solution to the problem of his wife not liking butter on her popcorn but he did. I poured the popcorn into a paper bag we give out so people can share easier and let him use his free refill to fill the bucket again, so two buckets of popcorn.

He called me smart, asked for my name (since I didn't wear a nametag) so he could thank me properly, and gave me candy. I wished him a happy fourth since I really was hoping he would tell my manager I did a good job (praise is praise even if he wears a red hat) and he just bellows "AND A HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO YOU AS WELL, MA'AM!"

...so there was a thin veil made of ignorance and my own resourcefulness that prevented me from getting hate crimed at work since if this man knew a gay pagan had helped him out...

And no I don't think he actually talked to my manager about my helping him.

I seemed to get more respect from these people seeing this fucking movie than others (which says a LOT cause I had so many dicks I had to help) and I've theorized that maybe these nut jobs thought I was religious cause they saw the pin on the hair scarf I wore and assumed it was representative of some Christian sect...

...It's a Volturi crest pin.

But, yeah, to sum up, fuck this movie and the crowds it brings. I knew it was gonna be bad when I read the synopsis on my monitor the morning of the 4th and saw Jim Caveziel was the lead, fucking JESUS in "The Passion of the Christ..." and what's even WORSE is that he's the lead of "The Prisoner," the show I wanted to watch because of baby JCB.

Working Barbenheimer was like a doomsday for me, but Sound of Freedom was a chronic and horrid pain...

Although this happened, so that's horribly ironic:

58 - Are you or were you a good student?

Yeah basically. I was kind of universally known as the smart kid nobody talked to but everyone wanted in their group projects. Finished high school with a 3.97 GPA, but most of that can be credited to my extreme fear of failure. College has been no different lol.

[jaggedwolf]

can't sleep so I retrieved my favourites of the 2024 media list. ramblings on random selections under the cut

Movies

okay those two being the gayest of the Hitchcock films I watched last year isn't the reason they won out. or at least I don't think so?? the issue is that even with the Hitchcock films I'm going hell yeah at there's always some part of the ending that pulls me out of it, so it's a matter of degree. Vertigo and Psycho could've made the cut if it wasn't for how jarring I found the push in the former and the overlong explanation in the latter. (when I was a teen I thought Rear Window > Vertigo but now I must admit that Vertigo > Rear Window.)

Laura was a good noir where I went oh! at two particular bits that I retroactively understood the Shadow Play episode of PLL to be referencing. I love that the detective has a tiny portable game he plays with whenever he talks to the one guy he's annoyed by. I desperately need a modern detective movie where the detective whips out their smartphone and plays one of those gacha rhythm games in similar circumstances. yes, with audio on.

Wicked: thirteen-year-old me was dying nonstop. how did they make this gayer than the stage musical. don't fuck up part 2 Mr Chu

Theatre

Merrily We Roll Along: if I explain the basic plot it sounds like the most boring thing ever tbh but the chemistry of the three leads sells this friendship breakdown. also got to see Radcliffe and Groff on stage :D :D

I liked Suffs more than The Outsiders but seeing both last year was the first time I could understand how one musical could get Best Book and Best Score while a different one could get Best Musical lol. Really liked the dying while speechifying and the forced feeding stagings (cheery huh), and have re-listened to the album a whole bunch. Still not sure a partially color-blind casting in this context is something that works for me.

Television

what can I say, I like mysteries with fun gimmicks and I like beautiful animation of beautiful women beating the shit out of each other. Perhaps one day someone will combine the two and I will truly lose my shit.

Books (Fiction)

Poirot helping a precocious attendee of an all-girls boarding school and old man Poirot solving his last case were delightful - I was very satisfied with our Belgian detective's ending.

It's pretty funny that I read a book for every state I passed through during my big trip last year and the one novel to make the cut is the first one for New York. The bias, it's evident.

Books (Non-fiction)

Can you believe the least depressing of these four books was The Power Broker. Fucking brutal, you know, but well-written reads all around.

[base0h]

a/n - @countingsheepboi had the idea and now I’m gonna do a part two bec these are funny >:)

Warnings ⚠️ - chaotic g/n reader, crack-ish

Opposites attract p2

- he’s never wanted to cry from stress until now

- he could be just talking to one of his siblings for one second, and when he turns around, you’re gone

- you enjoy messing with him by hanging onto his back so he can never find you until he either uses haki or you scare the absolute shit out of him

- will go to brulee for advice

- he’s the only thing keeping you alive, and you’re singlehandedly shortening his lifespan

- “KURI! Look at this cute mushroom! It’s so small-!” You said, poking the spotted little plant

- it was so squishy and adorable that you decided to stick the whole thing in your mouth to see if it tasted good

- tasted like shit mixed with tree sap

- you choked on it lmao 😭

- “Y/n did you swallow it??”

- whats the ginormous mochi man wearing platform boots with spurs gonna do-?! (as you can see I love his boots a lot lmao)

- he doesn’t want to hurt you but he also doesn’t want you to keep choking so he’s trying to pat your back with two of his fingers gently

- it still hurt

- he swore he could’ve fainted at some point from anxiety

- you’ve unfortunately introduced him to panic attacks

- cannot sleep without knowing you’re in bed, ok, not eating poisonous things, and that you’re not hurt

- yes he’s stressed now, but you’re the only thing that makes him happy

- and so fucking stressed at the same time

- joins therapy with smoker

- he’s already stressed, and now he’s more stressed

- requires screaming into a pillow every once in a while to blow off some steam

- will make bepo or shachi or even Penguin watch over you

- almost every time you manage to magically disappear

- “CAPTAIN Y/N’S GONE-!”

- the amount of energy and effort it’s taking him not to scream is amazing

- he needs to get you a rope for you to hold onto like a kindergartner lmao

- before he even gets to say a word about his plan you’re already beating people’s asses with no second thoughts

- a little part of him becomes more depressed every single time you rush on ahead

- spends all his time on these plans 😭

- inside he secretly appreciates it when you bring over a marine that’s been beaten up by you with a smile

- makes him happy :)

- you’re so thoughtful and he loves that 🙃

- he’s clumsy enough already 💀

- he ends up setting you on fire as well sometimes

- nooo but his devilfruit with your abilities is so overpowered 😭

- no sound is made when you literally rush in and beat every single person up inside the room while Corazon throws a grenade inside when you’re done

- y’all have the epic moment of walking away from the explosion

- and then his coat catches on fire

- will be by your side whenever you need

- you’re the one who’s dragging him along by his coat into danger because he can’t run a single minute without falling

- imagine seeing a 9’7 man getting dragged by someone half his size 💀

- doffy will always be confused as to how you two got together

- 10 year old law is even more stressed now

- poor kid is surrounded by clumsy reckless people lol

- Cora is the type of guy who would run into danger without thinking just because you were right next to him :)

- he didn’t know wtf to do when you ate something poisonous

- “Y/N-! OH GOD- UH- CAN YOU THROW UP?! LAW WHAT DO I DO-?!”

- he is freaking out

- started sobbing thinking you were gonna die, “Y/N I LOVE YOU SO MUCH-“

- “CORA-SAN Y/N’S FINE SHUT UP!”

- he’s now crying out of happiness while suffocating law in a hug

- I think he sobbed for a solid hour straight into poor law’s ears

a/n - poor katakuri :’)

[taevbears]

Magic Shop - 06

He’s waited a long time to see you again.

⤑ pairing: (eventual) OT7 x female witch!reader; Taehyung focused  ⤑ genre: magic au, romance, hurt/comfort, slow burn ⤑ rating: 18+ ⤑ word count: 8.2k ⤑ warnings: minor character death, abandonment/loss, depression/grief, oppression against mages, a bit of self-deprecation, brief description of sexual activities.   ⤑ note: Happy birthday Taehyung! Your chapter happens to fall align with your birthday lol (at least, in the time I’m posting it. I seriously didn’t intend for it to happen, but it worked out this way!). For all my visual readers, the references I used for the shop are from the FESTA 2020 staircase photoshoot, BE concept photos, and of course, the 5th Muster: Magic Shop intermission clips. I also couldn’t decide if I wanted to make Taehyung a crow or a raven lol. But I’m happy to finally change gears from the dark and dreary with this story and into more light-hearted and fluffy moments. There are only a couple more chapters left until this first part of the series is done, so thank you so much for sticking with me and all the lovely comments ^^ I hope you all have a wonderful, warm, and safe new year!

Chapters:   01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 (final)

An awkward silence passes as the mysterious man smiles at you all. Then, hesitantly, after clearing his throat, Seokjin is the first to speak up. “I’m sorry, but who are you?”

“Ah, that’s a good question.” The man rubs his chin, taking his time to think of an answer. Then, with a slight smirk, he replies, “You can call me whatever you want.”

“Don’t you have a name?” Namjoon tries.

He shrugs his shoulders. “My last owner called me Taehyung.”

“Okay. Taehyung,” you test out his name as he turns his full attention to you. His eyes are a dark amber, almost like honey. It’s a little difficult to look away from them. “H-How do you know who we are?”

His smirk widens as he quirks up an eyebrow. “Ah, that’s a shame. It sounds like you don’t remember me yet, darling.”

You blink. “Wait. What?”

“We used to be lovers.”

“Wait—”

“WHAT?!” the boys echo around you, nearly screaming, just in as much shock as you are. Maybe even more so.

The mix of confusion, disbelief, and panic causes Taehyung to burst into laughter. He claps his hands, eyes squinting to crescents between his fits of giggles. “I’m kidding! You guys are too funny.”

“That doesn’t answer… I’m…” you start, your brain seizing over the fact that a mysterious, handsome, possibly Wicked man is joking about you two being lovers once. You know it isn’t true. You’ve never seen this man before in your life. Yet, you feel so flustered.

In your arms, you feel Yoongi brush his tail around your arm. His dark eyes are trained on Taehyung, watching him carefully. It’s as if he isn’t sure what to make of him just yet either.

“Why don’t you all come inside? You seem pretty tired,” Taehyung suggests, gesturing at the old and broken building. He doesn’t wait for an answer as he spins around, walks down the short pathway, and leaves the door wide open.

“This is a bad idea,” Seokjin whispers as the four of you huddle together in a circle to discuss. And he’s right. None of you have ever met this man, yet he seems to know you quite well. The building is sketchy and in disarray, as if no one has taken care of it for years. The entire thing looks like it’s on its last leg and could collapse at any given moment. It’d be incredibly stupid if you blindly take his word and follow him straight into a trap.

“Let’s just hear him out,” Hoseok surprisingly disagrees. He’s usually more on the cautious side, especially when it comes to trusting strangers. “He might be able to help us lay low from the wardens.”

“Didn’t you see his eyes? He looks like he’s Wicked,” Namjoon argues. “He could corrupt our minds and devour our hearts.”

“And turn us into toads,” Seokjin adds with an affirmative nod.

The black cat in your arms meows, causing the boys to glance down at him before looking to you for a translation. “Yoongi said he’s not Wicked. He’s something else.”

“What? A mage?”

“A demon?”

“Familiar,” Taehyung answers right beside you, somehow joining your little circle without any of you noticing. There’s a brief glimpse of amusement in his golden eyes when you all jump back and yell in surprise, but the expression quickly changes. With a long, exasperated sigh, he tilts his head to the side and calmly reasons, “Come on. You guys didn’t mind me when I was with you in the forest. Do you dislike my human form this much?”

“He did help us out,” Hoseok points out, eyes flickering between you guys and the man.

“It’s not the best-looking place right now,” Taehyung admits, nodding toward the building as a piece of plaster falls off. He promptly ignores it and continues, “But the wardens won’t know you’re here. The shop will keep you safe from anyone troubling you. And you guys can stay as long as you like! There are enough beds for each of you.”

Namjoon sighs and rubs the back of his stiff neck. All of you haven’t had much of a proper rest since the night of the attack, always on the move and always on your guard. “That does sound better than sleeping on the ground for another night.”

“I’m not a good cook, but I can see what I have and get a stew going. There’s a marketplace in town with good meat and vegetables, too. Whatever ingredients we’ll need for supper, we can find it there.”

Seokjin’s stomach growls at the mention of food and he curses under his breath. Ears red, he mumbles, “Maybe we should stay for dinner at least.”

You watch as your companions are won over with the promise of a hot meal, Hoseok and Namjoon immediately agreeing to Seokjin’s suggestion. Throwing caution to the wind, the three of them enter the suddenly inviting abode.

That just leaves you and Yoongi.

The cat’s dark eyes have Taehyung in his gaze since he appeared before you all. Suspicious and weary, but Yoongi doesn’t seem to think that the man intends to harm any of you. And while he observes the amber-eyed brunet, your gaze is fixed on the building before you.

It’s odd.

You were so young when you were taken to Blackstone Castle, you don’t remember your parents or the town you were born in. You don’t know if you’re from the countryside like Namjoon, who helped his family pick ripe tomatoes and other crops in the summer and grew up in a tight-knit community. You don’t know if you’re from the seaside like Seokjin, who’d go on fishing trips with his father and older brother and help his mother at their family restaurant. Like Hoseok, who was born in the castle, you’ve never been outside those walls until now.

Yet, you feel like you’ve seen this place somewhere before.

Taehyung’s gaze is intense as he stares at you, drinking you in. Almost like he can’t believe you’re real and standing before him. Your attention is pulled away from the building when he inquires, “Aren’t you curious?”

It’s an innocent question, but it draws you toward him all the same. Taehyung, with his hypnotizing eyes and alluring voice, extends an arm like a gentleman for you to take. Your determination to seek answers falls right into his hand as he leads you through the threshold with a smirk and shuts the door behind you.

Once upon a time, when the trading town of New Haven was just beginning to develop, a mysterious shop seemingly appeared out of nowhere. The first settlers, exhausted and burnt out from working nonstop, stumbled through the large doors and were pleasantly surprised to find exactly what they were looking for: a table with a delicious feast, soft beds for a good night’s rest, warm shelter against the grueling cold night. After spending some time to refresh themselves and heal their tired hearts, they were able to head back to work the next day happier and with rejuvenated energy. However, just as strangely as the shop arrived, it vanished just as quickly, as if the shop itself was made of magic.

Some people claim that the shop only appears when you need it the most; when the days are hard and difficult and you’re in need of comfort and love. Others would say that the shop didn’t exist at all, and that the settlers were just dreaming of their heart’s desires after they built the town. Either way, the story has become a legend.

Over the years, the type of shop it was has changed. Some stories say it’s a teahouse and pub with brewed teas, coffees, and homemade alcohol that have healing properties or a bakery with bread that always tastes freshly-baked and buttery, no matter how long it’s been put on display behind the wooden shelves. Some say it’s a quaint inn with the softest beds, guaranteeing the best sleep of your life. Some say it’s an entertainment lounge with musical instruments that play on its own, and the sounds of laughter and dancing can be heard long after the building is empty. Some say it’s an actual shop with oddities from foreign lands and objects that symbolizes luck, wealth, protection, or love.

What is consistent, however, is that the shop is almost unnoticeable upon first glance, seamlessly blending in with the surrounding neighborhood wherever it pops up. And once it’s fulfilled its task, it disappears as if it were just a dream. Like magic.

Stories like this have become forgotten when the teachings of the Devoted interfered with the whimsical and wonderful curiosities of the masses. New Haven, built upon by hard work and dedication, provided a safe place for weary travelers coming from the ominous forests and long, worn-down roads. People come and trade goods for coins, share stories of wild tales from their quests, provide information with fellow travelers, and recruit help from the growing guilds. The story of the settlers and the first discovery of the shop is kept alive through word of mouth from the townsfolk, but not many people believe it anymore.

Magic, after all, is forbidden. Even in a town like this.

Thus, without a purpose, the shop begins to deteriorate. The vibrant colors within the shop fades, the displays of artifacts and souvenirs collect dust among the untouched books, the breads are stale and the drinks are not as tasty, the instruments are out of tune and the equipment for other hobbies are broken, and the building itself becomes an empty shell of the liveliness it once had.

People pass by the shop all the time, but no one ever stops by to look inside. It’s become abandoned, haunted, left to rot with the elements.

And the only living thing near the old building is a lonely raven, whose unwavering belief and magical affinity keeps the shop on its last leg, long after its previous owners have left him all alone.

Inside the old shop are remnants of what the place used to be.

At the entrance is a small lobby with a check-in counter and a seating area. Behind the worn-out leather couch is an antique shelf collecting dust and cobwebs among its books and decorative pieces. On the other side of the entrance is a mysterious dark-painted door that seems to be permanently locked. A light above the door with a strange symbol of mirrored parallelograms doesn’t seem to work.

To your left is a faded teal-colored parlor room with an upright piano that is out of tune and an easel by the window with spots of colorful painted residue. Oddities collected from travels are displayed in this room, from dolls with inhabited spirits to scales and fossilized eggs of a mythical beast. They’re decorated around a round wooden coffee table with a fancy red sofa and white chairs pulled around it, inviting and cozy for long talks, playing music, and hanging out. At the back of the room is a reading nook with several books off its shelf, untouched for years with paper yellowing over time. And just above the reading nook is a loft that overlooks the entire parlor and entrance, where a fortress of blankets and pillows have been made.

To the right is a cozy tavern with a long bar separating the kitchen from the seating area. Bottles of wine and ale are aging behind the bar, as well as jars of half-empty coffee beans, tea leaves, and other herbs and aromatics. Various pots and pans are in the kitchen, as well as a huge cauldron that sits on the hearth of a fireplace. Mixed chairs of different colors and designs are gathered around the tables. Though, the one that stands out is a long table by a window with a long bench on one side and five different chairs; an arrangement perfect for a big family or a group of friends.

There are stairs between the entrance and the tavern that seem to lead to the bedrooms that Taehyung promised. From the outside, the floorplan of this building doesn’t make a lot of sense. With such limited space, it feels like you’ve entered a rundown shack and crossed the threshold of a hidden mansion.

“What do you think?” Taehyung asks, observing each of your reactions.

Namjoon is already thumbing through some old books on a shelf, eyes sparkling when he seems to find some he hasn’t read before. Seokjin looks puzzled and curious at some of the runes and artifacts on display, as Hoseok picks up one of the jars of pot pourri and observes the ingredients inside. Even Yoongi leaps from your arms and finds a spot on the couch he feels comfortable in.

“This is amazing, Taehyung,” you breathe, taking it all in. It’s weak, and the place could use a good cleaning and fixing, but there’s a whimsical feeling that you know all too well.

This is a building full of magic.

“I’m glad,” Taehyung replies warmly, eyes squinting to crescents and cheeks rising as he smiles. “This is the Fate Reader’s Requiem. At least, that’s what my old owner called it. The shop has had many names over the years, as it’s served different purposes. Lately, I’ve been calling it The Raven’s Nest, but it could use a new name.”

“What do you mean by that?” Hoseok asks, looking over his shoulder at him.

“Come on! I have to show you upstairs!” he urges with a flash of a boxy smile. Your arm is still linked with his as he pulls you along, and the others stop what they’re doing and follow after you two, a bit worried that he might hurt you with his eagerness. The wide, creaking steps lead to a single white window. There isn’t a hallway, but along the diagonal walls are eight doors. Four on each side, facing each other. All the doors look identical to each other except for one. That one, you assume, leads to Taehyung’s room. The two of you stop in the middle of the narrow room – the steps barely wide enough for three of you to stand side by side – as he beams down at the others. “See? I told you there are enough beds. Go ahead and pick one.”

You exchange looks with the others, all who seem more curious than anything else. Then, curiosity bubbles to anticipation as each of you stand before your own door.

“There’s even one for you, Yoongi,” you note with an excited smile, seeing as the room next to yours has a cat door. Though, you’re not sure if the previous owners happened to have small pets, or if the building itself put one for him.

Regardless, the excitement is hard to contain as you grasp the doorknob and push it open. You hear Hoseok and Seokjin shout in awe, and Namjoon gasp as they enter their rooms. But you stand, silently stunned at the room before you.

It’s a simple room with basic furniture: a bed, a bureau, a mirror, a wooden chest, a simple table, and a reading chair. There’s an ensuite bathroom with scented oils and essences already in stock. It’s much bigger and nicer than the dorm you shared with Mina and your other roommates in Blackstone Castle, and even more so than the tiny bedroom you moved into in the enchanter’s quarters.

What gets you is the wave of nostalgia you feel upon seeing it. Even though it’s your first time being here, you’ve seen this room before. You’ve dreamt of it so many times, even during your Harrowing.

“You picked that room last time, too,” Taehyung quietly tells you.

You turn around to face him, not sure if he’s just messing with you this time. “Taehyung…”

“Wow, pretty girl,” Hoseok interrupts, coming to peer into your room with the others. He wraps his arm around you with a cheerful smile. “This one suits you.”

“I don’t think I want to leave,” Seokjin admits with a bashful laugh through his chosen door. “The room I have is perfect!”

“It’s definitely better than just sleeping anywhere else, I think,” Namjoon confesses, not sure if he’d be able to give this place up after what you’ve all seen. You’re sure he, Hoseok, and even Yoongi could feel the faint, protective, magical aura this place has as well.

“I’ll give you some time to settle in while I get the stew started. The rooms should have everything that you need,” Taehyung tells you all, though his amber eyes don't leave your gaze. He offers a small smile. “We can discuss it after we eat and rest up, yeah?”

“What do you make of all this?” you quietly ask, sinking deeper in the warm bath water. The white foam from the soaps and shampoo are your favorite scent, filling the bathroom with the distinct aroma.

Yoongi sits on the edge of the bathtub, seeming tempted to pop some of the foaming suds covering the bath water.

“I don’t know if we can trust him,” he says, sounding distracted. He raises a delicate hand, eyes focused on a particularly big bubble by your leg.

“Should we stay the night?”

Yoongi hisses when you move your knee the second he strikes, causing him to miss and nearly fall into the tub. You bite back a snicker as he grabs your thighs to keep his balance, glad that he’s in his human form so he can’t claw you. 

“We could,” he replies, coolly, calmly, as if he isn’t half-drenched in your bath water. “He’s a bit strange, but Taehyung doesn’t have any malicious intent.”

“His eyes are of a Wicked man, though.”

“Your eyes were almost Wicked too,” Yoongi mutters under his breath, casually dropping a shocking revelation to you as he wipes his wet hands on his pants.

You sit up straight in the tub. “What! When?!”

“It was when Seokjin got hurt. When you were fighting Adriel,” Yoongi answers, refusing to look at you. His cheeks distinctly turn red as he turns his gaze at a random tile on the wall.

You’re in shock, not realizing you almost turned Wicked. You just remember feeling so angry. When you found Seokjin, he was at the brink of death. And at the time, you couldn’t help but think of the what-ifs: what if you hadn’t gotten there sooner, what if Miss Eunjeong stayed behind with the children, what if he didn’t make it that night. Once you were certain that Seokjin was alive, you just attacked. You didn’t hold back as you cast spell after spell at the beast, not realizing that Adriel was the monster.

The only reason you stopped was because—

“Don’t think about it,” Yoongi cuts in sharply, snapping you out of your thoughts. You blink rapidly. You’re hugging yourself so tightly, your nails are digging into your skin. Your heart is racing so fast, your breath is short. As if the outrage, helplessness, and fear back then were just beginning to resurface again. “It’s in the past now. Seokjin and the others are okay.”

You stopped because you heard Seokjin call for you. You stopped because, when he could’ve sworn he saw a flash of golden amber in your eyes, he looked terrified of you.

“Sorry,” you mumble, sinking down in the bath water again. He’s right. Seokjin is probably asleep in his room, or helping Taehyung with supper. Hoseok and Namjoon are freshening up and resting around the shop as well. “I didn’t know… I thought he…”

You feel Yoongi place his hand on your knee, trying to comfort you. “Taehyung… he has an innocent aura to him. It’s almost child-like,” Yoongi tells you, and you try not to shiver when his thumb rubs your skin. “He must have lost someone important to him to have turned Wicked. But he must have found something within himself that gave him reason to hold onto his humanity.”

A heaviness fills your heart. Taehyung mentioned a previous owner, but it looks like no one has entered this shop for a very long time. Has he been here all alone all this time? When he appeared before you and Hoseok as a baby bird in the castle, and as a raven in the forest, was he trying to seek you out?

I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.

We used to be lovers.

You picked that room last time, too.

Does Taehyung think you’re his previous owner?

“Yoongi,” you ask, thinking about how both Adriel and Taehyung managed to regain their humanity after they’ve turned. “What exactly makes a person Wicked?”

It’s a bit funny what humans deem as magic and what they think is entertainment. In the Fate Reader’s Requiem, the shop was just that. Entertainment. Bells and whistles and illusions as the owner, known as the clairvoyant, pulls wool over people’s eyes for a pretty penny and a good laugh.

“It’s not real,” they would say, eager to see what trick she has up her sleeve. Eager to break the illusion and find out how she does it.

To many mages, it’s almost a mockery of what true magic really entails.

But to the beautiful and mischievous clairvoyant, it’s just as entertaining for her to have them believe they know better.

“Oh, you got me again!” she would say with a perfect smile, promising to find a better way to prank them next time. And Taehyung, her raven familiar, would wonder why she dabbles into silly tricks and games in the first place. When the clairvoyant is actually a proficient fortune teller and potion master. “It’s just for fun, and the customers are happy when they think they’re right. If they walk out of this shop feeling happier than they did coming in, that’s all that matters to me.”

She was selflessly kind, as charismatic as she was beautiful. Found him during a particularly harsh winter, and called him the greatest and warmest gift.

And Taehyung was in love.

It was just the two of them, aimless wanderers as they traveled the roads together by carriage, helping curious adventurers with vague advice for their journey or playing a game for trade during their quests. While she enjoyed pranking the skeptics, she also genuinely helped a lot of her clients as well: selling handmade lucky bracelets with protection spells, adding essence of magic in the baked goods, giving accurate and helpful advice to those who truly want to seek answers. And in their travels, the shop would appear at every stop, providing them a home they can settle into before they must pack up and disappear again.

New Haven was the town she liked most. It was a bustling town, full of fellow travelers and stories. It was the place she and Taehyung spent the most time in, a place that they could settle together, a place that they called home.

She told Taehyung that’s all she ever wanted for them. A place to settle down, a permanent residence for the shop. While it’s nice to travel the world and take in new sights and experiences, she’s always wanted to find a place she could always come back to. And New Haven, to her, seemed to be that place.

Despite how often her abilities teetered between magic and illusion, she was always so careful. After all, real magic was taboo. And her foresight has always been reliable, letting her know when it’s time to move to a new place, when people are becoming too suspicious.

“I’m tired of running away all the time,” she confesses to Taehyung one day, petting his feathers as she looked out the window, into the town she loved so much. “Wouldn’t it be nice if we could stay here for a long time too?”

They didn’t leave as baseless gossip around the pubs spread about her and her affinity to magic. They didn’t leave when some of the townsfolk threw stones at them, trying to drive them out of New Haven. They didn’t leave when they tried to burn the shop and almost killed them.

They should've left when the hunters came.

They’re a ruthless, violent group. Persistent as they knock on the doors and demand to know how the clairvoyant does her tricks and illusions, forcing her into revealing her secrets. They drove all the customers away, turned the once beloved regulars against her, creating more hearsay as they called her a con artist and a scammer.

Taehyung doesn’t remember the reason why they took her and tied her up against the wooden pole, throwing stacks of hay and easily flammable foliage around her feet. He doesn’t remember the reason why a preacher from the Devoted stood before the rowdy crowd, calling her a sinner as he riled them up more. He doesn’t remember why no one stood up for her when all she wanted to do was make people happy.

He does remember the hurt and fear in his owner’s eyes before the anger started to seep in. Taking over him completely, until he saw red. Until all he could feel was something pure and foreign. 

Hatred.

Black feathers sprout from his arm and his nails sharpen into talons. He gasps and tries to hide it, to shift back into a full human. Among the outrage, the terror, and the betrayal that weighs heavily in his broken heart, he can feel something fighting against it, trying to keep him from transforming.

“Taehyung, don’t lose yourself,” the clairvoyant pleads as the smoke rises and the embers grow. Although she’s being made a spectacle, he can hear her voice as if she’s standing before him. “I have one more prediction. It’s about your future. Won’t you listen to it?”

There’s too much going on. The clamor of the crowd, chanting like a cult. The fires grow steadily as smoke fills the air and goes into her lungs.

Physically, he starts to change. As he blinks, his eyes become a little more golden. The suppressed darkness and negativity start to taint veins, coloring them black against his skin and spreading from his chest to his neck.

“One day, Taehyung, we’ll meet again. You’ll be happier then. More than you’ve ever been at this point. You’ll fall in love again. You’ll be surrounded by good people who will keep the shop alive, who will give comfort and joy to people better than I ever could by myself. Those people will be your family, Taehyung. And they’ll love you so much.”

Taehyung doesn’t realize he’s crying. He feels so small. He feels so helpless.

It isn’t fair. Why her? Why did they all turn against her? She did nothing wrong. She only wanted to make others happy.

“Don’t lose yourself, Taehyung. Keep holding on. I’m sorry I won’t be with you much longer, but take care of yourself. Take care of the shop. Remember, no matter how harsh the winters are, you’re a person full of love and warmth.”

Taehyung sobs as her screams pierce the smoky air.

When you come down from your bath, you see Seokjin cutting some vegetables in the kitchen and Namjoon dutifully stands by the cauldron and stirs the pot.

“I thought Taehyung was cooking the stew.”

“He’s playing with Hoseok,” Seokjin says, nodding toward one of the small tables where the two of them are laughing together and peeling potatoes. It seems like they’re trying to see who can make the longest peel without magic. “All he’s doing is boiling some meat, so I’m adding more ingredients to make it tastier.”

“Do you need help?”

“Yeah, grab a spoon and let me taste the broth,” he instructs, hands full as he continues to chop cabbage and carrots into chunky pieces. You pick up a ladle, scoop up a spoonful from the cauldron, and carefully take it to Seokjin. You watch a little too intently as he leans toward you, puckers his plush lips, and blows gently on the liquid before tasting it. HIs lips smack a little as he nods his head. “It’s better.”

“Really?”

“I want a taste too,” Hoseok tells you, pouting playfully when he sees you and Seokjin.

“Me too!” Taehyung chimes after. Even cat Yoongi hops on the counter and meows at you that he’s hungry.

Thus, somehow, you end up going around and feeding each of them. Even Namjoon, who could perfectly get some himself as he’s supposed to keep an eye on the soup. He smirks as you glare at him, muttering, “I hope you burn your tongue.”

“Behave, baby,” is all he says, voice deep as he raises an eyebrow. You ignore the skip in your heart as you maintain a straight face and flip him off.

Taehyung smiles as he observes your interactions with each of them. “You know, this is the liveliest this place has been in a long time. It’s really nice.”

There’s a tug in your heart when you recall what Yoongi said. How he must’ve lost someone important to him. How quiet and lonely the shop was in all these years. Quietly, you ask, “Can you tell us more about the previous owner?”

“Ah, she was a lot like you. Pretty. Kind. Brave.” He trails off a bit, and you can see the lingering love he has for her in his voice and his face. The fond expression is clouded with sadness as he continues, “She passed away a long time ago, though. As you can see, her magic is fading from this place and the shop needs new owners to keep it alive.”

“New owners?” Seokjin repeats, carefully dumping the cut vegetables into the stew. He glances over at you, and you meet his gaze for a brief second, shocked.

“That’s right. The shop runs through magic. Without it, it’ll just deteriorate and collapse upon itself,” Taehyung explains, looking at the current state of the shop. “Actually, I wanted to ask if you’d want to be the new owners.”

“Why us?” Namjoon asks, a bit hesitant. Only because it seems too good to be true. You and the others need a place to stay, and the shop, although falling apart, feels more like home than Blackstone Castle ever did.

“Destiny,” Taehyung simply replies, glancing over to you as well. “I think there’s a reason that we met, and why I found you guys again in the forest. I think there’s a reason why the three of you have all dreamt of this place.”

Your eyes widen as you look at Namjoon and Hoseok. “You guys too?”

“It was only once or twice,” Namjoon admits from behind you, “but after dreaming of running and being chased, I sometimes ended up here. Whenever I dreamt of reaching this place, it didn’t feel like a nightmare anymore.”

“I saw it in Divination class,” Hoseok says, a bit bashful. “There were lots of people living with us, cooking and eating together, playing music and dancing, laughing and having fun. We were a family. I didn’t think it would come true at first, but I wanted it so badly.”

“Me too,” you murmur, looking at Seokjin. You’ve told him your prediction about the shop that fulfills many needs and comforts. “I didn’t think it’d come true either.”

“I’ll give you some time to think about it. I think there’s still enough magic in this shop for three more days. Then, once it runs out, it’ll disappear for good,” Taehyung explains as he holds up three fingers. Then, his face lights up when he suddenly remembers something. “Ah! But I do have one more question.”

“What’s that?”

There’s a glint in his amber eyes as he asks, “Do any of you need a familiar?”

It feels like the world moved on too fast after she left.

Sunlight peeks from a heavily curtained window, shining some light into a dark and gloomy room. But Taehyung has long since been awake, hand touching the side of the bed where she would’ve laid. Sometimes, he doesn’t bother to get out of bed at all, even when the shop provides him all the things that would’ve made him happy: instruments like trumpets, trombones, and saxophones playing a jazzy tune, a new canvas upon an easel with vivid colors of paint to use, fresh strawberries and cooked meat already waiting for him at the dining table. Eventually, the music stops, the muse to create remains untouched, and the food becomes cold.

The hunters leave after tearing the shop apart, only finding a lonely raven hiding in its nest.

One of the hunters gives a young boy a dagger. “Take care of that animal, boy.”

The young boy nods and approaches the loft where Taehyung hides. He raises the weapon, sharp tip pointing right at him, but Taehyung doesn’t move. Perhaps this is better than having to spend another day without her.

But the boy has a change of heart. When the other hunters aren’t looking, he carries the raven to a window and sets him free. “Go. Before they notice.”

So, Taehyung flew off to start anew.

Years passed, and day by day, things got a little easier. He still feels so small and fragile, and it shows in his form as a baby bird. And while he wishes he could put everything behind him, the magic shop still follows him. Whether he’s in an eastern temple, a southern desert, a northern snowscape, or a western forest, the shop is always there to comfort him.

And then, one day, when he feels numb enough to forget the pain, he enters it with the intention of releasing its contract with him. With dead, amber eyes, he stares at the dark-painted door by the entrance. 

A door that leads to the heart of the shop.

Beyond it is a small, empty room with white walls, but it can transform into whatever the owner of the shop desires: a banquet, a loft, a studio, a game room. As Taehyung enters, it's a séance room. One that the previous owner held many of her readings, whether true or not.

Sitting on the table is a crystal ball. To his surprise, he sees an image inside it.

He sees her. The old owner. She smiles and waves at him, keeping her promise of meeting him again. Taehyung grabs the ball in his hands, looking into it with disbelief. “Clairvoyant!” 

The image changes. An ominous fortress. Blackstone Castle.

Is he meant to go there?

As a small raven, he flies across a thick forest until his wings are exhausted. But like most familiars, he can sense magical auras nearby. It gives him the strength to keep going. Many animals are attracted to mages, including dangerous predators. It isn’t uncommon for wolves, bears, and big cats to lurk near the castle. He does his best to avoid getting attacked by any of them.

By the time he reaches it, he collapses from a tree, dizzy, tired, hungry.

“Hoseok, look!”

When Taehyung opens his eyes, he’s being carried by warm, gentle hands. He feels the tips of fingers carefully rub his feathers, and two faces peering down at him. Yours and Hoseok’s.

Contracts between a mage and a familiar tend to be straight-forward. For Hoseok, who is still considered an apprentice, it’s simple.

“Defeat me in battle, and I’ll become your familiar,” Taehyung dramatically tells him. 

The two stand across from each other in front of the shop. Hoseok seems nervous as he holds onto his wand, glancing around as if anyone would stumble upon you guys at any given moment. Even though Taehyung has assured you all that he’s put up invisible portals to prevent any human from walking into the match, turning them around if they happen to walk through it. The rest of you sit on the porch steps with Yoongi on your lap and Seokjin passing some snacks over your head to Namjoon.

It’s the second day. Dawn barely breaks through the horizon before flashes of bright colors emitting from Hoseok’s wand light the dark skies. After supper together and wishing each other good night before breaking off into your separate rooms, all of you feel more rejuvenated than you had in days. Fed, well-rested, safe, and sheltered. You can’t quite imagine a better place than this.

Yoongi purrs in your lap, his eyes darting back and forth between Hoseok and Taehyung with interest. Effortlessly, Taehyung becomes a raven and flies overhead, dodging the bullets of light that shoots from Hoseok’s wand. Neither of them are holding back as Taehyung would swoop down and peck his ear, tug on his hair, or scratch his shoulder.

This is how it should be, Yoongi seems to tell you. No need for Harrowings or unnecessary deaths. Just a good, ol’ fashion duel between magical beings.

Twenty minutes later, Hoseok lands a hit on Taehyung, who dives down and rolls on the ground, shifting into his human form. “Ow. You win.”

“I won?”

“He went easy on him,” Seokjin scoffs, munching on his snacks.

“Hoseok knows how to make ambrosia. That’s the hardest concoction to make,” Namjoon points out, not only because of how rare the ingredients are, but because of how difficult and time-consuming it is to get them. And even then, it is very easy to mess it up. “We can let him pass this one.”

“Hoseok! You won!” you cheer, running up to him as Hoseok screams in triumph. He catches you in his arms and spins you around in glee. 

Taehyung, voice hoarse, dramatically rolls to his back and looks up at Hoseok. “You have proven your worth, apprentice. No, enchanter. I shall be your familiar and help guide you through your magical journey from now on.”

Hoseok laughs as he extends a hand to the raven. “I’m looking forward to having you by my side, Taehyung.”

A connection between them is instantly made. A special bond between familiar and mage. You look over at your own familiar, sharing a knowing look with him.

“We should celebrate,” Seokjin suggests as he stands up with a proud smile. “I’ll cook something nice for all of us.”

“Maybe we can look around town as well,” Namjoon adds, seeming curious about what's in New Haven. The rest of you agree, in need of new clothes and supplies since everything has been left behind at Blackstone Castle.

Before heading out, Namjoon warns you and Hoseok not to use any magic. Even if the people seem friendly, they could easily turn you to the hunters if you warrant enough suspicion. Taehyung is eager to help you guys blend in, transforming your enchanter robes into casual attires.

It feels a bit strange. You’re not used to wearing something so pretty. In comparison, the enchanter robes are so plain and simple. One bland color without design or appeal.

Taehyung takes a step back to admire his work once the illusion spell is cast on your old clothes. There’s a sincerity in his voice as he murmurs, “You’re so beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you reply back, a bit flustered. Perhaps it’s because Taehyung himself is so handsome, or perhaps it’s his honesty that makes you know he means what he says, but he has a way of making you feel so shy.

The boys have changed their robes and armor for suits, and at the entrance where you’re all gathered, it’s like you can’t stop looking at each other.

“Wow! Jin, you’re so handsome!” Namjoon loudly exclaims, causing Seokjin’s ears to turn red as Hoseok touches the fabric of his suit. Even though he and Namjoon are wearing something similar.

“You don’t look bad yourself, Joon,” you comment when Taehyung brings you in. Hoseok’s jaw falls open as the redness from Seokjin’s ears spreads to his face and neck. In the tiniest, quietest voice, you think Namjoon compliments you back. But Hoseok is already all over you, openly admiring how nice you look in your new outfit. Even Yoongi stares at you so intensely, you almost want to ask your cat if anything is wrong.

The five of you enter town and spend the day exploring. 

You and Hoseok feel like children, fascinated with everything around you. He excitedly points at horses pulling a carriage or some of the funny hats some people wear on their heads. At a clothing shop, the two of you try on some of the silly hats you guys saw, bursting into fits of laughter the more flamboyant and ridiculous they are. When he hears music from street performers, he pulls you along to dance with him, both of you giggling as one song blends into another and another.

Seokjin has your arm linked around his when you enter the famous marketplace. It feels like a place that’s easy to get lost in. Merchants have set up stands, selling everything from armors and weapons, common and rare artifacts and accessories, and daily ingredients for home-cooked meals. He sees you eyeing one that sells flowers and buys a small bouquet for you. His whole face turns suspiciously red when the old merchant smiles at him and says, “You make a lovely couple.”

For lunch, Taehyung shows you a place by a river that instantly becomes Namjoon’s favorite spot. The five of you sit by the grassy bank, admiring the way the sunlight shimmers off the reflection of the water. Yoongi growls at him in disdain when Namjoon rests his head on his spot – your lap – but proceeds to climb on his chest and glare down at him menacingly. Seokjin and Hoseok finally share a drink together, clinking bottles of alcohol. You giggle when Hoseok gives a curious Taehyung a sip of his, and laugh harder at the utter disgust on his face that follows afterwards. Namjoon smiles when he feels you absently run your fingers through his hair. He tells you that he’s happy, and you admit that you are as well.

By sunset, when all of you finally return back to the shop, you and Seokjin immediately prepare a celebratory supper for Hoseok and Taehyung. Although you were all gone most of the day, the place suddenly seems cleaner. Brighter. You hear Taehyung playing with the piano and it doesn’t sound out of tune like it had before. Even the food tastes more delicious, and you’re not sure if it’s because Seokjin has an eye for high quality ingredients and impeccable cooking skills, or if there’s a bit of magic that’s poured in from the shop.

“Taehyung,” Namjoon begins as dinner begins to wind down. “I think we’ve all made our decision already. About the shop.”

After meeting you and Hoseok, Taehyung can’t get you out of his mind.

Perhaps it’s because you really do remind him of his previous owner. Even if he isn’t completely certain you’re her in another life.

For days, Taehyung would watch you from the crystal ball, seeing little glimpses of your life. He sees that you’re a hard-worker, serious about your studies, and self-motivated in learning new things. He finds you really admirable, and knows that you’re very kind with the way you took care of him until he got better.

He sees your relationships with the other boys, and how easily drawn you are toward each of them. Namjoon and his admirable intelligence and gentle nature. Seokjin and his witty humor, playfulness, and consideration. Hoseok and his fervent passion and unyielding optimism. Yoongi and his calm, comforting aura and constant assurance.

He feels a bit envious, wishing he could be a part of that too.

The shop, once a place of painful memories, suddenly gives him a bit of hope. It isn’t every day that he is able to look into your life. Sometimes it’d take weeks or months for a new vision to appear. But every time it does, the warm and optimistic feeling of hope resurges within him.

Taehyung sees visions of darkness, flames, betrayal, loss, and terror that occurs during that fateful night. He sees how it’s ripped you all away from everything you’ve known and everything you’re used to. But a smile appears on his face when he sees something else.

You, at the shop, helping Seokjin cook for everybody and sharing quick kisses when he passes by you to grab a utensil or an ingredient. You with Namjoon at the reading nook, noses stuck in your own books and heads resting on big pillows on the floor, but you’re reading the same lines over and over as his fingers absently massages and trace patterns on your leg. You and Hoseok dancing together at the parlor room, even when there isn’t music playing, and he’s incredibly smitten as he spins you around and dips you before slowly bringing you back up for a kiss. You and Yoongi napping together in the afternoon, seemingly innocently, had it not been for the fresh bite marks against your thighs and neck.

Then, he sees you and him. 

Taehyung gifts you pretty things: coins, jewelry, bottle caps, buttons, polished rocks. He sings to you while you work, pecking your face with teasing kisses before pressing his lips against yours. At night, he shows you his nest at the loft and has you lie among his collection of pretty, shiny things. There’s an alluring look in your eyes as his hands tugs on the strings of your corset. His eyes seem to glow with desire as he drinks you in, watching your reactions as he tenderly kisses your neck, your collarbone, your breast, your torso. He sees his large hand pin your wrist down as he brings your hips to him, and how your hand clenches the fabric of a blanket beneath you as your lips part open.

There’s more that the crystal shows him, but Taehyung is already gone. Determined and flustered to see you again.

On the third day, all of you have gathered around the dining table with the deed to the shop sitting before you. It feels like an easy decision. 

Of course, all of you had to treat it like a business and figure out ways to make profit. Seokjin and Hoseok like the idea of keeping the tavern and providing warm meals and cold drinks to customers. Although none of you have experience in owning a shop, Namjoon is good at numbers and offers to take care of the back-end of the business, such as bookkeeping finances and sales. Taehyung is adamant about the mysterious room in the entrance, selling you to the idea that it can have many uses in both the professional and personal sense. And all of you, including Yoongi, like the idea of providing entertainment at the parlor room with music, dancing, and games.

“Is there a catch that we should know about?” Hoseok asks as he reads through the contents of the deed one more time. All of you look at Taehyung for confirmation.

“It’s not a catch, per say,” Taehyung begins, shifting uneasily as the room falls silent. “I just want to reiterate that the shop is driven by magic.”

“So, is the shop going to drain our magic or something?” Namjoon asks, hesitant.

“No, nothing like that,” he assures you all. “One mage alone can power the shop by casting spells, doing small rituals, and crafting potions. Three mages and two familiars living here will make the upkeep easy.”

“What about non-magical beings? What can I do?” Seokjin nervously questions, seeming to want to contribute as well.

A slow, boxy smile appears on Taehyung’s face as he locks eyes with you. “Do you know what the most powerful kind of magic is? It’s love.”

Seokjin snorts in disbelief. “Isn’t that a little too cheesy?”

“He’s right, though,” Hoseok defends, sighing as he thinks of Miss Eunjeong’s parting words to him. “It sounds simple, but loving yourself, loving others, sharing that unconditional and mutual feeling with someone can be difficult.”

“You have to face the ugliest parts about yourself and accept it. Find ways to choose love when things become tough. It’s a constant effort,” Namjoon adds, and it feels like all of them are looking right at you when he says, “You can love someone so much, and never know if they truly love you back.”

“It’s a little scary,” you admit quietly. Even now, you feel so vulnerable opening up like this. Are you even a person worthy of being loved like that? Although you know that you love the boys, are you deserving of theirs?

All of you fall quiet again, thinking about it. With all of them, you had to hide your feelings from them in one way or another. With Hoseok, it was because he was in love with someone else. With Namjoon, you were both rivals and had a reputation to keep. With Seokjin, it’s because an affair between a mage and warden is forbidden. Even you and Yoongi stay strictly in the lane of mage and familiar.

“But you’re willing to try, right?” Taehyung asks, looking between you all as if he already knows the answer. “As long as we all love each other, as long as we’re together, the shop will become more than just a business. It’ll be a home. We can settle down and continue to have happier days from now on.”

“We give the best of each other,” Namjoon says with a soft smile toward you, being the first to sign. “I’ll show you.”

Hoseok signs as well. So does Seokjin. Yoongi dabs his paw in the ink and presses it on the paper. Taehyung’s name is already on the paper. That just leaves yours.

You pick up the quill and draw in a breath. It feels like all your dreams are coming true. A new home, a new family, a new life.

Ink spills into your signature and seals the deal.

Thank you for reading ♡ Comments & reviews are greatly appreciated! Taglist: @natalie-rdr​; @scentisterror; @aloneatpeace ​ To join the tag list, please read [here].

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[makeste]

BnHA 326: What’s up Kids, It’s Me, Your Old Pal Stain

Previously on BnHA: Ochako shamed the U.A. Clown Mob into letting Deku go back inside his own fucking school by giving them an hour-long speech about how not to be humongous dickheads. Kouta and Gigantic Fox Lady saved the manga by being the only ones brave enough to give Deku a hug. Shouto was all “man, all this togetherness sure does remind me of that promise you made that we would handle Touya together which you immediately bailed on, doesn’t it, Dad.” Aizawa was all, “for the one and a half people out there who thought that my losing an eye and a leg might actually make me less sexy, I’m very happy to prove you wrong.” All Might was all, “[standing outside the U.A. fortress alone in the rain talking to someone or something??].” Like seriously, what was up with that though.

Today on BnHA: All Might is all “here I am in Kamino having a belated mid-life crisis because Deku abandoned me and I’m a terrible mentor and everything sucks and I hate myself.” Stain is all, “don’t make me come over there and give you a ten page speech about why you’re still the goat while menacingly holding you at swordpoint the entire time” because idk if you knew this guys, but Stain is pretty crazy actually. Anyway so he does that, and then All Might gets all emotional, and then the lady from chapter 92 shows up and gives All Might’s statue an encouraging pep talk, and then Horikoshi is all “and it even stopped raining lol can you believe this shit I’m not even a little bit subtle,” and he really isn’t. But I still got emotional anyway, because seeing people reassure All Might that everything he’s struggled for his entire life hasn’t been in vain just got to me okay. Horikoshi knows I am weak to the All Might feels and he just goes for the jugular every time, that bastard.

lmao. “in the neverending downpour, All Might is...” yeah, thank you, glad we’re getting right to that then

“All Might is driving 95 mph in his busted ass car in the pouring rain, is what he’s doing.” huh

so basically a day or two after his adopted child refused to accept the handmade bento that he packed with love, my man is out here acting like he’s got nothing to live for anymore. this sure bodes well for certain prophecies on which the clock is still ominously ticking down

his fucking face though omg. is it weird that I’m kind of hoping more people ambush him just because I think it’d be funny to see them get their asses kicked like the last bunch

(ETA: or maybe he will just stand there openly not giving a fuck and basically daring them to stab him!! get it together please All Might.)

side note, “anti-hero supporters” is such a strange way of saying “people who hate heroes”, which I’m assuming is what they actually wanted to say?? this makes it sound like it’s a group that really loves antiheroes. “these Hannibal stans have been a real menace lately. time to go deal with them”

ha ha ha, fucking ouch

are you really gonna do it Horikoshi you bastard. are you really going to let that be the final encounter between the two characters whose relationship you once described as the vertical axis of the entire fucking story. are you really gonna?? huh??

huh

you’re telling me you were driving 112 mph and you still didn’t get there in time. you’re losing your touch old man. lol Todo’s ice is almost fully melted already, how late were you

(ETA: so apparently this is taking place after the end of chapter 325, meaning he went to U.A., hung out for a bit, saw the kids come back with his bedraggled half-dead protégé in tow, watched as they shamed the civilians into some long-overdue character development, and then was all “welp, time to go argue with the hero-hating faction or something because I’m feeling useless.” and Edge just let him go, just like that. though to be fair I have to imagine it’s pretty hard to say no to All Fucking Might.)

also belated lol at the fact that the kids were all “yeahhhhhhh we are definitely not gonna touch that thing, let’s just leave it here, he doesn’t need it anyway.” probably the right call to make since they couldn’t get a hazmat team on such short notice

fuck. ha ha ha fucking ouch part two

All Might please put that thing down before you get gangrene. also yeah, you dropped the ball, good for you to acknowledge it. nobody’s perfect and you did your best. but yeah you could have handled a lot of things completely differently. but I still love you

is Horikoshi really putting this flashback here. are you serious. what kind of fucking sadist

look, I swear I’m not one of those people that runs up and down the street shouting “DEATH FLAG!!” at every third panel lol. but this shit screamed Death Flag when we originally got it, and it’s screaming DEATH FLAG!!! even more now. like with the capital letters and exclamation marks and all. and that’s just a fact. I don’t like it but that’s how it is

ffkdjslk

“DID YOU READ THE SIGN??!” Horikoshi asks while zooming in maniacally because he thinks we’re blind or something. lol what

-- though actually, it only just occurred to me that this sign is actually written in English. I never really paid attention up until now and had been assuming it was written in Japanese and translated by the scanlators, but the writing here is clearly part of the original image. anyway so maybe that’s why he’s zooming in?? just to make sure everybody pays attention lol

okay fuck this

see, this is the whole problem right here. once again All Might is all on his own. Deku’s self-destructive angst spiral was fortunately brought to a grinding halt because he actually has support from his friends and family and teachers and classmates. but All Might never had that same kind of support, and it’s made all the difference between the two of them, and not in a good way. Katsuki wasn’t wrong when he said All Might and Deku were both cut from the same cloth. but now when it’s All Might’s turn to go all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD~~” once again, there’s nobody in sight

just, after forty plus years of him carrying this torch, I just wish someone would finally come along to let him know he doesn’t have to. all those things that he wanted to say to Deku are also things that he needs and deserves to hear himself. Aizawa was making a little progress there, but now he’s got his sad zombie cloud boyfriend situation to deal with, and we can’t expect him and his perfect hair to solve all our problems. someone else has gotta step up

oh my god

“you rang?” never mind I take it all back sob

omg why am I laughing. shit

this man truly has the best PR game in the series. we were truly convinced he was gonna suddenly become a good guy and defend All Might against the other villains or some nonsense. as if this wasn’t the same man who decided on a whim that Iida Tensei deserved to be paralyzed, and that his fifteen-year-old brother deserved to die for daring to be upset about it

lol even All Might is all “I genuinely never saw this coming” lmao

just want to say, for the record, I have always harbored a very sensible hatred toward Stain. feeling very vindicated right now. good job Past Me

adsfklwkfsdwgkj

ffffwefjslkg. ghsdlkg. dsfkkkslkjldwkjrg

STAIN: heard you talking shit old man

ME: smh that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking Stain

STAIN: how dare you talk about All Might that way

ME: gljfljgk

(ETA: in hindsight I have no idea how I didn’t clue in sooner that he didn’t recognize him -- or, well, ~didn’t recognize~ him, to be more accurate lol. I think it was the whole “is that a slight against the heroes?” thing that threw me. Viz’s translation makes it much clearer that he’s offended on behalf of All Might specifically, not heroes in general. anyways.)

sob. so All Might is all “yeah I don’t blame you for not recognizing me in this sweet leather jacket”

good thing he still knows how to do this party trick

A+ reflexes on Stain’s part presumably pulling the sword back a few inches to keep this dumbass from impaling himself with his whole pufferfish routine. can you imagine if that was the gruesome death Nighteye foresaw. and he was just too embarrassed to say anything

lol anyways guess I was wrong about Stain everyone

way to fucking go, Past Me. you really biffed this one

oh wait

Stain sure is one wacky rollercoaster ride

oh fuck me lol I forgot how much I did not miss this

(ETA: “this here is the sacred ground where All Might gave up the last of his power and turned into a shriveled old man!! please ignore the part where I admit to knowing all about that, and yet pretend not to recognize said man when he’s standing two feet in front of me.”)

Past Me, I know we’ve had our ups and downs these past ninety seconds, but I’m really starting to think you were on to something. this dude has always been kind of insufferable. always acting like his high horse is a fucking giraffe when it’s actually a Shetland pony

dammit now he’s got All Might going off on a depressed monologue

oh my god my heart

shit

why the fuck does that hit so hard. he became a hero because he couldn’t bear to just sit back and let bad things happen to people who didn’t deserve it. I mean that’s basically the same as every hero ever, right? so why does it still hit so fucking hard every single time though. what is it about seeing someone so determined to stand up for other people and fight on their behalf. it just never loses its impact no matter how many times I see that determination mirrored in so many of my favorite characters

“I wanted to make the world a better place.” omg. but you did, though. like seriously, I feel like people are always dogging on him for not being 100% perfect, and fandom really doesn’t give him enough credit for everything he still managed to accomplish. this man came of age at a time when Japan was by all accounts a total shitshow, and singlehandedly managed to bring about an era of peace that lasted for four fucking decades. can you imagine having peace for that long?? that’s longer than I’ve been alive. shit

and he gave people hope. he inspired them and protected them and made them feel safe. and no, he couldn’t save everyone, because he’s only one fucking dude (and also because the whole time AFO was also out there desperately working to undermine him so that he could keep preaching his narrative of “heroes are bad actually”). but you know what he did do, is inspire multiple new generations of heroes who, if they can all manage to work together, will finally be able to accomplish everything he never could

so yeah. forty years of peace, and inspired the “that’s how we all became the greatest heroes” generation -- that’s a fucking win in my book. talk about having a net positive impact on the world. lol anyways now I’m all fired up and ready to fight anyone who tries to talk any shit about you, All Might

“but what if I talk shit about myself” okay listen up All Might I’m gonna need you to try just a little bit harder to work with me here okay. please calm down and stop blaming yourself for every single bad thing that’s ever happened in the world. do you remember that time Bakugou was blaming himself for Kamino, and you gave him a hug and told him it wasn’t his fault, and that he was only a boy, and that even though he was strong, even strong people can struggle with the burdens they place on themselves, and that you were sorry for not seeing that earlier? do you remember all of that? that’s what I want someone to tell you too, dammit. anyway please stop breaking my heart please and thanks

wtf

are you dead All Might

um

I don’t even have the slightest idea what’s happening lol

oh snap did he grab him so they could hide??

hold the fucking phone. don’t tell me this person in the background with the umbrella is here to actually do something decent??

oh my godddd

and here come the feels. oh boy. okay don’t mind me, I’m just gonna sit here sobbing over this fictional lady and her simple act of kindness in this weekly shounen manga that I care about way too much

FUCKING DAMMIT AND HERE’S A SECOND HELPING

DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST GETTING DISPROPORTIONATELY EMOTIONAL OVER THIS WOMAN’S DETERMINATION TO HONOR A MAN WHO SACRIFICED EVERYTHING TO SAVE HER AND COUNTLESS OTHERS. I’M JUST HAVING SOME FEELS OVER HERE ABOUT HER HEARTFELT, DOESN’T-EVEN-KNOW-ANYONE-ELSE-IS-WATCHING FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE THAT COMPELLED HER TO COME OUT HERE AND MAKE THIS SMALL BUT POWERFUL GESTURE. I’M JUST OUT HERE GETTING ALL PROFOUNDLY WORKED UP ABOUT STATUE MAINTENANCE AND THE HUMAN RACE. NEVER MIND. JUST IGNORE ME AND CARRY ON

holy shit. I was not even remotely prepared. you can’t just do that to me. you can’t just leave all these death flags on my lawn and then suddenly shift gears to show me the best of humanity in a chapter where I was expecting the worst. that fucks a person up lol

OH ARE WE STILL GOING

my heart. you see that, All Might. your legacy is so much more powerful and meaningful than you think

...has. has Stain actually been giving All Might a pep talk this entire time

I give up lol. this dude is a fucking enigma

YAYYY

it may just be a metaphor panel, but I’ll take it lol. I missed them. nice to see the traffic light trio front and off-center. I know the whole “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes” thing had left some questioning whether certain characters would continue to play a central role in the narrative, and hopefully this will help to ease those concerns just a bit

anyway, so idk if it’s getting a bit chilly down there in hell, but damned if Stain didn’t just give an actual decent fucking speech

I have to say, earlier when I was whining about All Might not having a support squad, I really was not expecting Stain to be the one to come over and pat his head and reassure him that he made the world a better place

-- okay LISTEN

YOU CAN’T JUST COME INTO MY HOUSE AND HIT ME WITH THOSE ALL MIGHT TEARS AGAIN GODDAMMIT THIS ISN’T FAIR. my god. first 317 and now this

holy fucking shit

“I’m just gonna pretend like I haven’t been stalking him for two days and didn’t see the entire Deku bentogate thing go down, and then I’ll give him the whole big speech that I rehearsed, and then I’ll turn around and be all ‘BUT IF YOU’RE A TRUE HERO’, and then I’ll toss him the super-secret AFO wifi password that I stole from Tartarus. god I’m such a badass. fucking give myself chills”

so basically what you’re telling me is that this whole time my “what’s up kids” characterization of Stain from this shitpost has actually been 100% accurate. just want to make sure I’m understanding this right. okay then

“and then I’ll dramatically spin around and be all NOW COME KILL ME BITCH”

it must be so much fun to write Stain. drawing this coked-out maniac who talks like a chatbot that was trained to speak by reading Alan Moore monologues. that must be a trip

anyway so All Might is still crying, the awesome lady from chapter 92 is admiring her handiwork totally oblivious to the batshit insanity going on fifty meters to her right, and it’s finally stopped raining lol

“THE RAIN WAS A METAPHOR YOU SEE” yes, yes, we got it lol. thanks for that Horikoshi. don’t think we needed any help putting the pieces together on that one but I appreciate the effort

so that’s the end! and as I mentioned in another post, I had the count off by one chapter, but next week should be cliffhanger week! so break out your U.A. Traitor bingo cards, friends and fiends. either that or something else happens that I’m completely not expecting at all. which, based on my success rate with Stain predictions, I’d say is more than likely lol

mmm but anyway, so now that the Hug Deku 2021 campaign has finally come to an end, what’s it gonna take to get a hug for my struggling bento-preparing jacket-rocking world-weary death-flag-waving husband who is the worthiest man to ever live and deserves the fucking world, goddammit

[oneoftheprettynerds]

Don’t Let Me Down: Dark!Steve x Reader (Mob AU)

Chapter 6 in the Lipstick and Crayons Series.

Chapter 5: In The Name Of Love 

Main Masterlist

A/N: Hi guys, thank you for being so patient with me! I have been editing this chapter a lot lol so i hope things make sense and there isn’t any plothole. Lmk your thoughts! Also I won’t update until August cause I have a very important exam in August and I’ll be giving up my phone soon. Hope this chapter was worth the wait, I’ve been so tired. Yesterday I passed out for a few hours while studying lol. Nevertheless, happy reading!  

Warning: Non-Con, Sickening Threats, Drugs, Mob Themes, Violence, Death, Manipulation, a mild mental breakdown, Cheap Tricks.

Genres + Characters: Mob AU, Single Parents AU, Steve Rogers x Reader.

Summary: Steve can’t ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can’t get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob.

Word count: 6K [whew]

Chapter 6: Don’t let Me Down

Dozing off while you were kidnapped and in unchartered territory wasn’t smart, but your day had been long and fatigue had worn you out. Was it even the same day anymore?

The window behind you that provided you with light some mere hours ago was covered with thick translucent glass; that’s where your neck’s flexibility ended. The soft glow of the filtered light was no clue; the beam’s luminosity could very well be that of an early morning or of a setting sun.

Your shoulders were stiff, lower back ached the worst it had in years and wrist and ankles were raw, bruising. It reminded you of the time you had tried to go to the gym to shed the pregnancy weight, and how badly that failed. Your trainer was kind enough to go easy on you, keeping in mind your hearty toddler and hectic job. It was funny how in moments of demise, one remembers the small things, one they believed to be insignificant, their failures.

Your thoughts went to Grace and your parents next, the little sparkle in all of their eyes whenever they got a gift they had been eyeing for too long or when feasting on sugar. You sometimes believed that your dad and Grace purely bonded over their joy for cupcakes and desserts. Of course, that wasn’t true, that was the cherry on top reason for her to be his little princess like once you had been.

  While thinking about all of this, you did wonder if you would see your parents again. Given, you did worry about seeing Grace and her future but that was all you fretted about the past few days. If something happened to you, at least she’d be in the more than capable hands of your parents. Maybe it’d be for the best, they would nurture her far better than you could even dream of; a tear escaped at that reflection. You had to place your trust in the universe, it owed you at least Grace’s security for all that you’ve both went through.

Another area of your brain focused on one more concern; what about you and your parents? As much as you were a mom, you were also a kid who possibly might not be able to take care of her fragile, old parents either. They had the enthusiasm and the strength but they also needed you. What about that?

Wow, dark gloomy places can really be depressing.

Your dismal train of thoughts was interrupted by the grating sound of the metal door opening and you realized the room was more like a cell because metals bars were present in the place of one of the walls.

“I see you’ve woken up, sweetie.” The man from earlier, gigantic, burly and tattooed came inside and switched on the light. Your eyes ached as they uncomfortably adjusted to the brightness, a headache striking through your skull.

Surprisingly enough he waited, till you were done evaluating your now bright surroundings and done struggling. Not that you struggled much, you knew better than to anger the man whose mercy you were at. Look what happened with Steve.

“You ain’t a talker, I see. Well, good for me.” He let out a hefty snicker and continued, “The main rule here is don’t piss me off. My hospitality can and will get worse. Understood?”

You slightly nodded, your neck straining and stinging at the awfully easy task. Your mouth wasn’t gagged but it wasn’t hydrated either to answer this man. Besides you really didn’t trust yourself fully to not lash out at him. He was robbing you of your future, depriving you of your child’s future.

“I’m going to remove the restraints and you are allowed fifteen minutes in the bathroom. My man will give you the privacy but the door won’t be locked, so don’t try anything. Then I’ll feed you something and we’ll talk. This much sound good?” You nodded again and let him untie you; your eyes downcast the entire time, showing you weren’t stupid enough to pull anything.

His hands uncuffed yours and then he removed the rope tying your torso to the chair while you complied and sat still. He really went above and beyond to ensure your captivity, leaving room for no errors. His hands did wander but not quite far enough to warrant a reaction, but just enough to alarm you.

He patted your shoulders and you got up while he pounded the door twice. It opened and three men stood outside. He pointed to the door and tilted his head to the side, his eyebrows urging you to go.

You went outside as one soldier marched away, as if to be your tour guide, while the other two stood guard. Your legs wobbled with each stride as you struggled to catch up, limbs aching after hours of inactivity. Trying to keep track of the dingy hallways and the turns you took was a task you failed miserably at, your mind foggy, frame weary and soul spent. Your legs struggled to carry you even to the bathroom but you reached there somehow and collapsed inside on the toilet seat, your bruises from the restraints burning.

A sob threated to escape. Your reflection in the mirror was tainted and timorous, but over-all tired. Within hours of captivity, your face lost all its glow and your body all its strength. There was no way you’d be able to overpower even a single man here, much less the entire army of his with whatever strength they had in numbers.

You sighed and splashed your face as you tried to wash away the horrors with the grime.    

"What about the call?”

“It couldn’t be traced. He was prepared.” Sam answered as he watched a fuming Steve. They had been at it for hours but without any clues. They had scoured Rumlow’s properties in the city, checked out each abandoned building and tried to hunt ‘The Vices’ scoundrels but each was in vain.

The man that snuck to Grace’s bedroom to capture the picture also evaded the cameras perfectly by sheer coincidence, nothing more than a black mass showing itself. Those were personal to him and it sucked that when he let his team take charge of the cameras, nothing came out of it.

It made no sense, even his allies got to know about you last week at Sarah’s party and even on assuming news spread from there, your abduction was far too planned and strategic. Your kidnappers almost knew your schedule as good as Steve: your work offs, day-care time, Grace’s bed time. They were even able to evade Steve’s man that periodically checked on you back then. Last time Steve checked, Rumlow didn’t even have the resources for this, far less for it to come to a point to trick Steve’s men.

Now that he had collected some records about it, he noticed that Rumlow had been buying new properties left and right. He wasn’t supposed to start the territory war, the claim for it should have taken at least a few more years according to Steve’s calculations. His growth and empire, although still less than Steve’s, was developing exponentially, almost as if he had stumbled upon some unknown treasure that funded him.

Hard questions then started hitting him; and although they were brutal, they made a lot of sense. Rumlow had a new associate.

“I’m thinking we might have a mole. Or maybe Rumlow has a new investor because look at the price of these properties.” Steve tapped the various documents lying messily on his table. “His trust fund wasn’t this well-off. We need to find his new ally. Look into it. Check our assets too, don’t leave the possibility of a mole compromising us. And get Tony on the line for whatever intel he needed to verify. I need something before the day ends. Clear?”

The men around him nodded and as soon as Bucky gave specific instructions to each, they marched off. Steve looked through the files of Rumlow’s activities to see if he missed something, to get any hint of his new partner. He did have some new recruits from his trusted allies’ legions but maybe he didn’t delve deeper enough in their backgrounds.

Bucky called Stark but reached his assistant who promised a callback as soon as possible while Sam tried to track the location again and make something out of the photo of you they had gotten. He was hoping to track the next time he called, which was scheduled tomorrow.

The boys were as busy as bees and efficient to get you back, you were as good as family. Steve huffed and got frustrated at his slip up, he needed to wind-up this foe, once and for all and bring you safely to his manor where you belonged, his little family as safe as protected as it could be. Grace might not notice your absence for a few hours but then what?

You finished eating the sandwich the man had provided you, with hands still cuffed but this time in front of you. You hadn’t eaten anything even hours before your abduction, trying to get ahead of schedule just to get the errands done with.

You were the tiniest bit grateful to at least get a trickle of your strength back. He was patient and you were surprised by his calm demeanor; maybe it came easy to him because he had the advantage against Steve in whatever he was plotting.

You finished the entire bottle of water and looked at him as he put his phone down and faced you.

“Let’s start darling.” He was awfully jolly and you were annoyed beyond measure but you didn’t let it show. “I’m Brock Rumlow, your man’s worst enemy, leader of ‘The Vices’.”

It didn’t take too good a memory to remember the name of the crew that killed almost hundreds. A montage of the people that died, the children whose corpses laid on the muddy ground and the creeps that tried to abduct Sarah, endangering you and Grace in the process played in your mind. This man in front of you was a monster, ready to light the world on fire just to set off some rockets for his own entertainment; ready to drown the entire world just to enjoy the luxury of a cruise. Terror flashed in your eyes and this bastard seemed to relish in it.

“We go way back but not as buddies as you’d have already guessed. I need something that the bastard is too stubborn to hand me and that’s why you are my leverage.”

The story was short and vague but it had everything you needed to know. These idiots thought that Steve would submit and surrender just to save you? They didn’t realize you were easily replaceable and their plan would be in vain. You have known Steve, for what, just over a month now? You held no significance to him except for being a sort-of a plaything for him for a few weeks at max. Did they just spot you together and assume you were a couple?  

Your mind made theories while your eyes followed every one of his moves. He picked up his phone again and still caught you off-guard, “Look into the camera, sweetheart.” Your eyebrows furrowed and he snapped a photo, your eyes blinking away the sting due to the flash. “His demands.” He shrugged. “I need to send him proof of you being okay and unharmed every day until Monday. So, you are unscathed.” He paused and thought. “Well, for now.” He shrugged and your eyes widened at the implication. You deciphered two things. Firstly, Steve had agreed to some sort of a deal to save you.  And secondly, it was confirmed that he was not going to hold up his end of the deal on keeping you unhurt.  

Your subconsciousness broke your vow of silence as you whispered in surprise more than wonder, “What is that supposed to mean?” You didn’t know why you were so astonished; you were already accepting of the possibility of not making out alive but the way he said it made you queasy. Maybe he was going to kill you anyways for revenge, or to send a message. Or some other greater ploy.

“Sad to be the bearer of bad news, but you won’t make it out of here breathing, darling. A pretty face gone to waste, such a shame.”

“You’ll never get through to Steve then.” You stupidly enough played his card back at him, trying to convince even yourself that Steve did care about you and for once that might save you. The bastard smirked at you, taking your words as a light teasing and whipped out a cigarette with a lighter, smoking right in your face.

You looked down as a tear escaped, your mind numb as you registered your subtle pathetic pleading. Not so accepting of death now, are we? Well, who could blame you? You were only human. And survival is the most basic instinct of all.

A stream of tears slid down following the traitor, your nose scrunching, not at the burn due to the joint, but at the realization of not even getting to say goodbye to Grace.

“Aww,” the fiend mocked, “I really did want to keep you, alive and as my personal slut, as a reminder to that bastard that lost and what a fine asset, I must say.” He eyed your cleavage. “But I have to hold up my end of the deal, sweet-cheeks, and I promised your sexy body in a bag.”

You felt naked under his lewd gaze, mind speculating on who hated Steve so much that they wanted you dead? You were just an unsuspecting lady and in a matter of weeks, someone had marketed you as an important person in the Rogers’ household. And this false information now promised you your demise, literally, in an attempt to retaliate to Steve, who you don’t know why still bothered with you. But you were glad he did, the fact that he coming for you, even though he might prove to be late, was the only solace you could find in this dingy cell of yours. It was unexpected of him, but somewhere deep within you, you were glad he was willing to take the extra leap.

Rumlow left you alone to attend a phone-call and you wallowed in self-pity meanwhile. At least, whoever hated Steve and somewhat, loathed you, didn’t despise either of your kids.

Steve strode into Tony’s office, hoping that Tony calling him all the way out from his headquarters to Stark industries across the city bridge better be worth the time he was losing. Tony had called Steve back himself an hour later to invite over the next day, promising intel he couldn’t discuss over the phone. Irritated at the lack of clues he was able to collect in regards to your abduction, he agreed in a heartbeat, though slightly disappointed to wait an entire day.

Steve was ready to give a whooping thirty percent of his territory up for you initially when he got the call for specifications, but the motherfucker demanded sixty-five percent. If the deal would be conducted fairly, he would even be ready for that, yes, you were that precious and he was a man of his word, but his team and his intellect both knew that Rumlow would play a trick. Or he would go through the deal and then attempt an assassination on him, continue the enmity.

Because Rumlow and him despised each other so much, that words couldn’t explain the rivalry. They had been in the same premises only thrice till now, no party hosted them together anymore. One celebration had ended with a fist fight that sent Rumlow to the ER with broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder and a shattered jaw. Another had ended with Rumlow killing his own ex-spy, aka Steve’s late wife in front of everyone and then grazing even Steve’s chest with the same gun.

    Needlessly to say, they both hated each other’s guts. It was like they came out of the womb as enemies.

Steve broke out of his pondering when Jarvis greeted him and stepped into Stark’s lab on the sixty-ninth floor. Sometimes, he felt Stark was a child trapped in a man’s body, which, of course, wasn’t true given how much of a prodigy he was, how his genius was known overseas.

He found Tony examining a small black device, barely visible to the naked eye, more like a piece of tape and also drinking brandy out of his favourite glass, one that hardly left his table to even get washed. He began pouring some for his blonde friend on spotting him but Steve shook his head. No matter how appealing alcohol seemed right now, he needed a clear head to get you back home.

“This shit better be good, Tony.” He came to stand beside his tech-savvy friend, who juggled and caught the device in his fist and then opened one of his hologram screens. “It is.”

“You must have come to some conclusions about the entire ordeal by now, Cap. Tell me.” Tony sipped his brandy while Steve grew exasperated, probably due to the lack of liquor, Tony concluded.

“Fuck you if you brought me here to play games, Tony. I have so much shit to fig-” Steve was getting impatient with each second that went by and left him uninformed. He needed to know you were safe and get you home; because he knew Rumlow was a man-whore and it wouldn’t be long before he tried something if he hadn’t already. And Tony’s games didn’t help.

“That’s mean, Cap. You are busy being a hotheaded piece of shit to your best friend and here I’ve already done the entire work for you.” Tony said, remembering to curse him back, and entirely unfazed by his fuming best friend.

“What? I swear if this is-”

“I don’t joke, you should know that, Capsicle.” Joke. “And I will tell you everything I’ve figured out but first I want you to tell me your deductions. Entertain me, I want to know how good you are at this, it’s been a while since the last time I got to see you in action.”

Steve felt relief and annoyance all at once. He wasn’t even sure since when his emotional range had gotten so vast, that he felt respite and anticipation for whatever data Tony had, anxiety and apprehension thinking of you, wrath and pure rage for that son-of-a-bitch, a little anger for Tony too for drawing this out, his pal really needed to learn how to read a room. Or at the very least, his friend. He was sure though; it was after he’d met you. Beautiful and charismatic you. Oh, how he missed you. Rot in hell, Rumlow.

Steve’s jaw ticked and tensed but he complied, the sooner he danced for Tony, the faster he’d get what his friend had brought him out here for.

“I know Rumlow has a new investor, who helps from the sidelines though. And I’m also eighty percent sure, I have a mole, or more than one of them. Maybe I didn’t check properly after those four at the carnival. I don’t know how else they got a whiff of her because only you and Pepper had met her prior to the party and I know it’s not you guys. I completely trust Wanda too so-”

Tony clapped Steve’s back to stop him from rambling and grinned, rapt by his analysis of the situation. “Impressive. Now take a look at this.” He gestured to the screen still floating there as a video began to play, a video of the penthouse that he had visited with you weeks ago.

Tony poured the glass Steve had earlier refused and handed him, “You are going to need this.”

It was day two or three of your captivity. You didn’t know exactly but you realized the passage of one night after you had woken up and talked to your captor.

You didn’t really want to sleep and be vulnerable at the claws of the men here but your barely-fed self had no choice but to conserve whatever left up energy you had through slumber. That didn’t mean you were rewarded uninterrupted snooze time, nope. Your creative as fuck mind chose to show you exactly what you suppressed while awake, a mosaic of memories of your kid.

You remembered her first steps at your parent’s house in the living room towards her Pops, the time she’d snuck up on you in the garden, her footsteps light and soft; her first nightmare and how tight she clutched you, the first time she spelled her name. You didn’t even remember your life before Grace, fuck her piece of shit biological father. It was you and her against the world.

When you had somehow gotten through the night, your day was ‘graced’ by Rumlow’s presence. The man was repulsive and a total creep, his lewd comments never stopped. Neither did his wandering hands when he untied you himself twice both the days. You slept on the chair the first night and when you woke up, he was in the room, watching like a hawk.

Rumlow generally didn’t stay to check on captives personally but you were an exception. Keeping you in sights made him grin every time; you were a trophy of his dominance over Rogers. A pleasant reminder that he had already won the ensuing battle. With the territory came the allies, as everyone favored the strong, and soon he’d set out to achieve the kingpin title that Steve was too much of a pussy to.

“There you go, sweetheart.” His terms of endearment made you heave on the inside but you didn’t react much externally, remembering his one rule of not angering him. You shook your free hands as he untied your torso, his hands playing with the clasp of your bra through your shirt after. He slid his hands up to your shoulders, dangerously close to your neck and whispered, “Twenty minutes today. Shower if you want.”

You pranced out of your chair after that and his snicker reached you, bouncing off the dingy walls of the room that held you captive. Even prisons were better than them. You made the mistake of looking back at him because you found him palming himself and winking at you.

You’d have to look for bleach for your eyes.

This was the fourth time you were in this rest room and every time, you wanted to smash the mirror, take a piece of glass and slit Rumlow’s throat. You would have been worried about your thought process if you weren’t practically in the jaws of death.

You had already killed a man, why not kill another?

Unfortunately for you, your plan had too many flaws. The sound of the mirror breaking would reach outside and his men would restrain you in an instant. The low-pressure shower and the taps won’t be able to mask the noise. And even if, by some miracle, you’d be able to do that, you would go out on a limb and say that overpowering three of his men that stood in the path that led to him was unachievable for you. Besides surviving for your kid was more important to you than revenge.

You sighed and got frustrated at the fallings of your plotting, you needed something, anything that would amount to hope in your brain. Screw your rational brain for the lack of optimism.  

This bathroom was your safe space here, you refused to show emotions in front of the men but here, you allowed your thoughts to wander, even if only for a few minutes. Here, you mourned everything you were going to lose and everything you had already lost.

You sobbed and closed your eyes as your mind kept reflecting the agony you were in, as if you were trapped in a kaleidoscope, with the jewels replaced by horrors you couldn’t fathom.  

You didn’t even get to say goodbye to Grace. You didn’t know that that morning would be the last time you’d get to see her off to school. That her lunchbox would be the last time you’d cook for her. That New Year would be the last time you’d get to celebrate something with your parents. You’d miss out on her growing up; that there was a possibility she’d be orphaned. You’d miss out on experiences that were destined to be yours, well were yours until Steve had ruined it all. Brock was your personal Grim Reaper here though, and you had never hated anyone as much as you did him for robbing you of your life, not even Steve.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to shout and wrangle your abductor with your bare hands. It was because of his insolent existence, his delirious need for greed that dug your grave as a normal human. It was the realization that men like him, men like Steve, killed more than a couple hundred people, even thousands with no second thought for their lives.

And even though they were alike in their torment and ambition, you hated yourself for preferring Steve over Rumlow. Maybe it had something to do with Rumlow promising you your death on a silver platter. In case of Steve, you were destined to be just another notch on his bedpost, but with Rumlow, you were fated to be one of his prized executions.

You washed your face and shook you head, wiping your tears. You still had the generous time Brock had given you but you decided against showering, you didn’t want to undress anywhere in this building, the comfort of your unclean clothes was far greater than what a shower would have provided. Maybe, he’d be repelled by you, the dirt and grime. You grimaced as you recalled him calling you attractive like this. You hoped he hadn’t meant it, that some odor would repel him.

The man led you back to the cell, and you could see the disappointment by the lack of hygiene in your captor’s eyes. He smirked in your face though a moment late, seeming to take this as a challenge. You trembled being within arm’s length of him but by the grace of God, his phone rung, a generic ringtone interrupting the looming silence before your impending doom.

He pointed his index up, as if asking for a moment and fetched his phone. Still wary of him, you scrutinized his movements closely, the name on the screen sending you reeling back. He rolled his eyes reading the name and stormed out, likely predicting a longer conversation than he had wanted.

For the first time here, you were without bounds and free to move but you couldn’t get out of the heavy metal door anyway. Besides, you were a bit preoccupied with what realization just hit you.  

“See that?” Tony knew Steve missed what he was pointing out, because to him it was just two ladies gossiping, getting drunk on Chardonnay. Because that was what he himself saw on first glance, nothing out of the ordinary, just his fiancée and her Maid of Honor.

Steve shook his head, looking quizzically, his nose scrunched and his face was in an adorable frown. Tony was impressed that Steve didn’t whine again, instead waited patiently for an explanation. The crotchety Capsicle was now a tolerant dad, oh how the times change.

“This,” Tony opened his fist to show the black gadget he was playing with earlier, “is a high-tech bug. I mean it, really impressive nano-technology. But no one could one-up The Tony Stark.” He scoffed. “I found six of these, one in each of my main properties. This video right here, it shows how and when they were planted.”

He replayed the video with 150x zoom on the flower vase. The men saw as clear as day, when the blonde woman lifted it to admire the pattern and adhered a very minute, small black rectangle akin to what Tony showed earlier, disguised very well in the pattern. It was no thicker than a sticker or a piece of paper and yet it had transmitting capability far impressive than a lot, Tony told.

Steve absorbed each statement spoken to him, eyes bouncing between the documents on the glass table, the screen and his genius as fuck friend, Anthony Stark.

“So you mean to say-”

Rumlow didn’t come back for the rest of the night and for that you were grateful; you had a lot of thoughts to string together.

“Sharon Carter has changed allies. She wins the psycho ex contest.”

If you were not mistaken, and you knew you weren’t, Sharon’s name had flashed across Rumlow’s phone earlier. And you knew of only one Sharon, the one you met at Sarah’s party. You had no doubt assuming her to be involves, there were few with the name and in the same ‘business’. It made no sense, why would she betray Steve just to help a lowlife like Rumlow rule the city? You thought she loved him? Was it aversion you mistook for allurement?

You didn’t sleep that night, pacing around the room coming up with reasons, involuntarily trying to defend the blonde woman you had met only once. This right here was your problem, Your stupid heart of gold. This is why you saved Sarah, gave Steve the benefit of the doubt, and now were mentally defending a woman who had brought you to ruins. If the guards outside heard your pacing and murmurs, they didn’t disturb.

You didn’t even realize how the nighttime had morphed into the dawn, the evanescent glow of the stars turning into the glimmering orange light that intruded the cell through the thick glass. At some point, you had sat down, your head in your hands.

You prayed to God that if Steve really wanted to save you, he’d see right through this traitor amongst his allies. That he’d use that smart, conniving brain of his to do at least something right by you. You were miserable coming to terms with all this, and even though you hated it with every bone in your body, the truth was it had come down to you placing your hope in Steve. Only he could help you find your way to your daughter.  

The clank of the heavy door brought you out of your contemplation, hands wiping any wet residue on your face. Your head was pounding, questions clawing at your throat just threatening to spill themselves about how and why to the man in front of you.

And so, just when the bastard was about to delve in his tormenting mind plays, you impulsively yet idiotically interrupted him.

“You know, I could hear you stomping-”

“Sharon is behind this?! Why would she even-” A hollow snivel interrupted you, just like you had Rumlow. You were afraid that he might be angered but you were still dumbfounded by the revelation. Why would she even want that?

“Nosy little bitch, aren’t you?” In contrast to his crude words, he was actually amused. More so entertained than actually mad. Maybe he was just being kind for your last days; well as kind as this mobster could possibly be.

“Yes, Sharon arranged the entire deal. You’d be surprised at how much intel that minx had and even more so at the price she was willing to pay to get rid of you.” He elaborated.

“That makes no sense. Was she always a rival in disguise? And why would she go after me? We have only met once! Sharon had-” Your brain to mouth filter had just disappeared. You, in your sane mind, would never mouth off to your dangerous captor like this, as if he was your friend with all the answers. But all your wit had away and disappeared with your time in solitary, hungry and introspecting.

It was almost some reward for the bad things you went through in span of last seventy-two hours that your abductor found you amusing and your musings hilarious and chose to answer, relishing in the horror that struck across your face at each revelation like some cruel sadist.

“Wow, you are oblivious as fuck, darling.” He sniggered and then resumed with a smirk, “Aw come on, you had to be blind to not see how desperate she is for Rogers’ cock. She wanted a family with him, house full of shitty kids. Looks like that cunt didn’t tell you they were exes.”

“Then why betray him? And where do I come in this? Me and Steve weren’t even exactly friends!”

Did you offend her somehow at the party? Was that why she wanted you dead as side task?

“Well, she viewed you as a threat, silly girl.” He shrugged, marveling at your turmoil while you were literally losing your mind, you were going to die because of a ridiculous crush. “She is a silent partner; we had a one-time deal to screw both you and Rogers over. I get the expensive land and a shit-load of money to dispose you off while she gets to pick Rogers’ pieces up after your loss and weave her way back into that household. I’d say she is at a loss because of the pathetic goals she wants to achieve, but it is what it is. A cock-drunk slut is what she is.”

He concluded and smoked a cigarette, not bothering to tie you up even after realizing that you’d been unrestrained the entire time. It was fun watching you get aggravates; people with expressive faces were few and far between in this trade full of disguised immoral humans.

Fucking jealousy got you into this mess. You’d have been more than happy to let Steve go, even though he never was yours to begin with. At least he succeeded in his task of advertising you as his. Well, good for him.

A simple conversation could have avoided this. If only you had gotten a chance to prove you absolutely hated the man. Was it even rational for her to reach out and talk? You didn’t even know each other!

Well exactly! How was she so bold in assuming you were dating Steve? Bitch should have used her ‘shitload of money’ for confirming that.

You would have been concerned by your cursing but you allowed yourself a pass days before fucking dying. You deserved a happy future with your kid; you deserved to witness her first day of elementary, even college, her first boyfriend, or girlfriend whatever; her first heartbreak and walk her down the aisle decades from now! The universe owed you that much, and you were only settling. You had deserved to watch her grow, shine. Witness all her seconds, and thirds and everything she’d go through. And now, because of one blond bitch and one misunderstanding, you’ve been stripped of that.

You collapsed on the chair as you veiled your face in your hands, not wanting the man to see you cry, after you had shown days of resilience; not wanting him to witness your acceptance of the future you’d lost.

Rumlow left the room to attend a call once again and didn’t come back for quite a while but you couldn’t care less. Your heart burned and throat hiccupped as your vision remained blurred for hours. You knew you didn’t have much time left, neither to plot nor on Earth.

You cried without restraint, your screeches echoing off the walls and back again into your own ears. You just wanted to hug your little girl one last time, clutch her as tightly as she did when she had her first nightmare. That’s all you wanted your last wish to be.

But you came to the terms with the fact that you won’t get to do that. You knew your life wasn’t that generous, and you’d have to make-do with memories of her; you just hoped you’d live on in her memories after this.

The only question that remained in your mind, after hours and hours of incessant crying was, were you willing to go down without a fight? After all, you had to buy Steve some time.  

[pinkcherryblossomangel]

Away from home - chapter 2

Y/N is an actress, filming for her first lead role in the film adaptation of her favourite childhood book, produced by maximum effort.

She bonds with Ryan Reynolds over their share Love of the Korean pop band Stray Kids, and he has a surprise for her.

When she starts missing home and the darkness creeps upon her, her hotel neighbour comes to her rescue.

Trigger warnings- mentions of depression, self harm and anxiety

Stray kids fan fic

Mainly staring 3ratcha

But the other boys do make appearances it's just easy to keep to minimum of characters lol

Chan x oc

This is my first ever fan fiction so if it's shit soz.

Chapter 2 - professional

I run quickly back into the hall, trying to avoid the group approaching. I just manage it. I find Jenna and pull her into a corner.

"It's them!"

"What?" Her brow burrows with confusion.

"Stray kids. You were right, well 3 of them. The producing unit." A smile appears on her face as she revels in this only way a best friend could.

"That includes the leader doesn't it?" That's why she was smirking. She knows my phone wallpaper is a photo of him. " he's you fave isn't he? Sorry bias." The shit eating grin on her face would be funny if I wasn't shitting bricks. "You should probably change your phone background" she giggles.

I change it to a picture of my mum and me on holiday in London.

" okay breaks over, Y/N it's your solo." Jonathan calls over. I clamor off the bleachers and make my way to the centre. Jenna and I run our few lines of dialogue before the routine and then the doors to the right of me quietly open and they walk in.

I have to be professional but every fibre of my being is telling me to stop cause I'll make a fool of myself. The music starts, it's some old 70s pop song, and I'm kicking and moving just like I'm supposed to. I'm shimmying and moving my hips to the rhythm and after a few minutes the music ends. Everyone claps. I love working in such a encouraging environment.

I take a few to catch my breath and it happens. I see Ryan leading them over to me, Jenna and tash and we're trying not to freak out.

"Y/N!" He greats me with open arms which I happily hug into.

"Ryan!" I let go " and Blake! It's so good to see you in the flesh again" I say as I pull her into a hug.

"And here are the movies musical composers. Y/N I know you know of them" He says teasingly nudging me in the arm.

"Composer's? That's so cool!! My favourite band, doing the music for my favourite books film, produced by my favourite person and her husband!" Blake and the 3ratcha boys smirk whilst Ryan sarcastically laughs. " I'm Y/N" I say to the boys with an outstretched arm.

" changbin" He says as he shakes my hand

"Jisung, or Han, or Peter if you want!?" Han says almost like the words are falling out of his mouth.

"Chris!" There he is. I make eye contact as he holds my hand. I must be delusional as a feel a spark. Need to take my anti delulu meds.

" yeah I know you guys. I'm a big fan. A stay!" I say awkwardly as if I haven't been hyper fixated on them for the past 3 years.

" That's so cool!" Chan says, his Australian accent standing out amongst the sea of Americans I'm now used to hearing.

"You're not American?" Changbin asks me

"English, from near Yorkshire. But I do have an American accent in the film" I say slipping into the accent.

"That's so cool. People tell me I sound English when I speak English." Han chimes in.

"Maybe southern English, but like London not Essex or cornish." I reply.

" there's different ones?" Ryan jokes.

I'm keeping my cool, but I can't help but feel hot under Chris's gaze. Or what I think is his gaze, I haven't looked at him since I introduced myself, but I can feel his eyes on me. I shoot a look and smile in his direction. He was looking. Fuck. I'd prefer it if I was just being Deluded, but no, he's staring at me and once I make eye contact he smirks. Fuck this man.

"So they'll be spending a few weeks here on set getting to really feel the heart of the film. To really understand the characters and their relationships" Blakes words break through my spiralling.

"That sounds so fun! We'll have to show you round!" Tash suggests. She's become quite the stay in the past few minutes. What can I say, these boys have an effect on people.

"That's lunch" Jonathan yells.

The hoard of crew and cast make their way to the dining area, I trail behind trying to come to terms with the fact this is my life. Blake joins me at the tail.

"You feeling better today?" She asks. In all the excitement I'd completely forgotten the complete melt down I'd had last night. I went to bed as soon as I got in and cried myself to sleep. I wish there was a reason why, but there isn't. I should be happy. I am. I've got my dream job! Yet I still feel empty.

"Yeah" I say trying to reassure her, it doesn't really work. "I'm sorry I rang you so late last night, it must've been a pain in the arse" the apology rushes out my mouth. She stops me and looks at me in the eyes, as she places her hands on my shoulders.

"No. Stop dismissing how you feel. There is no need to apologise. I'm here for you" she says pulling me into a hug. In her arms I feel myself let go of tension I didnt realise had built up.

I wish my mum was here. She'd hold my hand through all of this. I'm too scared to tell her anything is wrong, cause she can't do anything from back home and I know she'd get on the next plan over. I can't do that to her. She has a life outside of me and I need to prove to myself I can do this on my own. Plus I'm scared I'd seem ungrateful.

Blake let's go, but loops her arm through mine.

"Now let's get lunch!"

-----------------------------------------

Chapter 1

[headlesscribbler]

I finished For The Future and it's good! But ALL BETS ARE OFF I'M POSTING SPOILERS AND THOUGHTS. (Also its super long like has 20 different points)

Written plotpoint wise and then in general.

-The tone at first was insanely confusing with everyone dying and then then Hooty flying and Eda almost immediately getting over her missing limb (well ig the cliffhanger made it look more dramatic). Also haha hot Harpy Eda scene, fan artists are winners.

-The curse actually wasn't explored that much (or the Owl Beast being trapped which I'm really annoyed at) but it seems to act similarly.

-Luz totally saw King's slightly grown up form with the wings.

-It's depressing seeing literally everyone screwed up but that makes sense and I do like how everyone gets a spotlight on their issues.

-Ok Belos is SUPER cool this episode. Tbh I found him more weird/slightly funny looking last episode but I like how this 350 year old man's flesh is falling off the bones. Also that's definitely dead Caleb we saw this episode and probably last (very cool but the knife looked a little funky dangling there)

-The broken playground and swing, nice Episode 10 reference. Also the graffiti is always funny.

-Lol screw you Terra you got picked to be the Owl Beast bc you're old and cranky. I can't believe her not being in the trailer was for this.

-That Draining Spell is literally only a kill everyone spell, ok? I mean it would have been interesting seeing them try to adapt without any magic but sure (also ig there wouldn't be time)

-Boscha you still suck! Also I can't believe my brother guessed the Kikimora reveal, I was like red skin, short, that's too easy. But looking back, the voice, the glasses. Ok I see it.

-Yeah no redemption all the Grimwalkers/Caleb want to kill Belos. Also lol I joked that he would say shut up to them and I guessed it right.

-Also not really surprised his Grimwalker body didn't last, like you're running out of resources. Still not sure why it still ended up looking like you. Also I was spoiled on him climbing up the skull so I was jumpscared by that scene AND it being a spoiler!

-I liked the visuals of the giant book circling around the tiny planet. Also Collector I know you can rhyme better come on.

-I have no idea what's up with the Collector portraits (hey Hollow Mind parallels). I'll let others dissect it but I found the lore kind id underwhelming like last time but I'm a terrible theorist and time crunch so eh. Also repeat images?

-Literally the entire Hooty and Eda scene was recontextualized to be weirdly more chill and cheery. Like Hooty is alive, why and also why immediately joke about it being weird?I'm not sure how their hideout works but hey there's some peace? Also you're killing me Eda please be with Raine oh my god! Also Eda saying "What's the matter?" made me want to cry, she sounded like a mom comforting her kid! And she said it so kind and softly!

-Ok I was pissed at the Hunter possession bc I thought it was fake/looked dumb. This feels random and weird. Belos possessing a puppet, really? I swear it's like "Huh screw Eda I'm gonna use Raine". But they look better off than Hunter (also why the goop on the ears, like injuiry from a piercing?) Ok but they(?) have cool expressions and their normal voice and mostly look the same and I doubt they'll die (otherwise it's that Diversity Loss meme. I'll pretend they'll die so I don't feel as bad/disappointed if it happens). I don't know why we're doing this again, pattern breaking says they must go but don't they have too much potential?

-Ok this possession concept feels kinda written badly? It's only introduced last episode and you're gonna convince me Belos can actually possess the Collector? Please! Also in general I don't like possessions as they take away the person's choice and creates limited character development for them.

-I've got beef with the Collector (who I now realize is probably different from the Owl Beast trapper but still), I don't like how it's not acknowledged that he was fine with killing everyone. King is nothing like that and I don't like how this Collector feels different from the more scary and dangerous shadow Collector we've seen the most from. It doesn't make sense they're supposed to be the same! Also they'll probably depower him simce he's too powerful (I wonder if doing this will make Collectors extinct.)

-Someone else probably articulated it better but I like the spotlight on Willow, how holding in her emotions to be strong for everyone ends up making her spiral out of control and how Gus and Hunter tell her she can let it out. It's really sad seeing her miss her dads but I'm glad it's acknowledged.

-Yay Camilla and Luz time! Yeah, it's sad how they both have regrets but I'm glad they're reconciling and Camilla is righting her wrongs. Also Luz's wish makes so much sense and I love the anime like tears. (Also yeah her saying she doesn't know what she wants definitely fits Amity given a predetermined path)

-For the teleportation powers Hunter gets, ehh but I do like the action is brings. Also YEAH new plant attacks Willow!

-Also literally calling out every single guess and putting it all in one. I like the Chinese dragon looking one. The designs all kinda look like OCs but it fits and it'll probably grow on me. Also 80% snake for the win!

Bruh the animation looks so good! Honestly mostly the effects but also the scattered fight scenes as well! I like how it goes from whimsy to body horror (would've liked more but eh Belos takes an L)

Tbh the pacing was kinda off since there was the school, King and Eda, and Raine being posessed. It felt weird because it didn't even really feel right for a cliffhanger. Hey who's fault is it (Disney)

Ok compared to Thanks to Them (which I really didn't like and don't want to rewatch due to the Belos possession) this is leagues better. No doubt because questions are answered, things are different and we get to see them again! Effects/fights/body horror/character design is good, I really like the character development and them coping with this nightmare, and others than the Raine thing/unavoidable pacing issues (this feels like similar issues to the first episode) it's super good!

[aerialflight]

Fic Recs (mostly Naruto cause I read too many good fics in the fandom and now I'm in hell)

[Naruto]

Spirit-Touched by phooykazooi

Once upon a time, the Haruno clan were priests. It was said that they were spirit-touched, and that they walked among the downtrodden and the poor, and did not bow to royalty.

Or, an AU in which Sakura can see spirits.

Part 1 of The Realms Between

(Really, and I mean REALLY fantastic Shikamaru & Sakura friendship! Fantastic, beautiful writing, and such good worldbuilding, god, and the Haruno family is so badass!! Sakura and everything she does makes me want to scream!! Please read!)

Final Evaluation by Do_the_Cool_Whip

Progress evaluations are one-on-one consultation meetings between academy students and their teacher. Their purpose is to inform academy students of their strengths and weaknesses and guide them down their ideal path to becoming a strong shinobi. Upon graduating the academy and passing their jounin-sensei test, new genin return to the academy for one final consultation. (Or: The story of what happens when Umino Iruka uses his final meetings with his students as way to send them off to become the best shinobi they can possibly be.)

(Iruka! Is! The! Best! Teacher! Ever! End of story!!! Great interpretation of all the characters and their capabilities and I am so so excited for the sequel that will undoubtedly come! XD)

Celestial Bodies by Oceanbreeze7

Sasuke looked at the fire, eyes glowing red as the mutated corrupted seal on his throat. "Amaterasu blessed me. I see things. Like you with two normal eyes and the Hokage. And Sakura with a seal on her forehead. And I run Chidori through Naruto's heart. I keep trying to kill him. Over and over. And that knuckleheaded idiot never gives up.”

(Don't you get it? I saw it. The moon will bleed, the nations will die. The world is going to end.)

Part 1 of Celestial Bodies and Anomalies

(I swear, this fic freaking elevated my expectations on Sasuke-centric fics in general holy hell. Also, read the fucking sequel after this cause EVERYTHING GOES NUTS AND THE PLOT GOES OFF AND I'M HERE FOR THIS SHIT. Fucking Uchihas man. Also, you wouldn't think this series is funny, but it is, and it's amazing.)

A step to the left (and right off the cliff) by weavingBlue

Team Seven starts off on a different foot and Sasuke's canonical journey to get stronger goes off the rails a bit. It all works out though. Probably.

(This fic went in a direction I didn't expect and it's GLORIOUS. SO FUNNY, I honestly was dying while I was reading this. Please give this a chance!!)

promises by BombsAreForBabies

It's her first kiss and Naruto's last. She promises him that she will bring Sasuke home. It's his dying wish, after all.

(Naruto bleeds out faster than the kyuubi can heal him.

Sakura learns that being a ninja is more than fancy jutsu and fun.

Sasuke does not know that he just killed his best friend and turned his most loyal comrade into his worst enemy.)

(Listen LISTEN I know this sounds depressing but the relationship developments and slow healing is EVERYTHING and I think it's absolutely worth it to read this. Sakura's characterization is so good and Kakashi makes me want to hug him. A lot.)

Fang Under Fang by Vroomian

"Are we sure he's really an Inuzuka?"

(The answer is no.)

-

Someone reborn as Inuzuka Kiba not only has to deal with bullshit ninja magic, but soulmates being A Thing.

(Really good self-insert fic and its platonic soulmates, not romantic! I am always here for a good Kiba-centric fic and I won't say who the soulmate is. It's unexpected but so, so good! Trust me!)

Haunt The Lonely by Tht0neGal666

(Series where Sakura can see ghosts and the Things she gets up to due to this ability. The fics are short but man, you can already see the shifting differences in Team 7's dynamics, it's great!)

Perception by Ellie_Enchanted

Naruto can sense auras, which throws everything off it's balance. Because really, with someone as open as Naruto running around and peering into the depths of people's souls, something is bound to change. In other words, sometimes all that's needed is a push. Also, Sasuke apparently glows.

(Naruto the empath changing the plot and making it Better and I am loving it!)

Crossfire by DejaVu22

Following the events of Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke never makes it to Orochimaru's hideout. Instead, he is waylaid by a one-eyed man named Tobi, a man possessing a Sharingan, a terrifying dual personality, a penchant for always being late, and a single-minded mission to stop the Akatsuki in their tracks. When Sasuke runs into Naruto again years later, he must ally with his old teammate in order to protect him from the Akatsuki, while keeping him out of the two man war Tobi and Sasuke have started against the dangerous organization.

(I honest to god can't stop cackling when I read this, the Sasuke & Obito dynamic is so freaking chaotic and Sasuke's characterization is the best thing I've ever read. This boi is a mEsS and I'm fucking rooting for him. He cares so much! There's secret identity shenanigans happening on sasuke's end and it's HILARIOUS! This is the duo I never thought I needed but here it is! *cackles insanely*)

-

[Diamond no Ace]

Echo in His Hands by SportRayne (rayningnight)

Ship: Miyuki/Sawamura

What does it mean, when you remember snapshots of your own future?

Is it your future at all, if you change it?

Would you even want to change it?

(Look I am WEAK for BAMF Eijun and time travel fics and Miyuki being a tanuki bastard, okay? Time travel fic where Eijun gets feelings of people he knew before in the future. Really good so far and am so excited over this fic!)

The path we walk by WindsOfTime

Ship: Miyuki/Sawamura

Eijun goggles at the magazine she just shoved into his hands. "W-Wakana!" "I know!" she says, beaming. "That's my soulmate!!" "I know!!" "My soulmate plays baseball!!"

(Became such an instant fave so fast it's unbelievable. I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH! Best soulmate fic in this fandom, hands down!)

-

[One Piece]

switching places by fireflywitch

Zoro is 21 and wakes up in a desert they already saved, on a ship that they burned two years ago, and standing next to a man who is supposed to be dead. Except, that can’t be right, can it?

Zoro is 19 and wakes up on a ship that’s too big, next to a robot wearing a swimsuit, and he’s supposed to fight something called a Kaido. Also, he’s missing an eye, and no one’s even a little worried about it?

(or)

Time travel is a shitshow, and Zoro didn't sign up for this.

(FUCKING HILARIOUS ZORO IS THE BEST PERSON TO SEND BACK IN TIME CAUSE HE'D BE TERRIBLE YET FANTASTIC AT IT I CAN'T MAN FIEWNOPFEW)

No Time To Crank The Sun by VIKAN

He’s surrounded by strangers, but they’re all trying to convince him otherwise. Or, Zoro faces a mysterious and relentless challenge that he just can’t wrap his head around.

(This ripped my heart open, I cried reading this my god. Please read this, the pain is so worth it and Zoro and his relationship with his crew is so good here. This reminded me why I love the Straw Hats so much!)

-

[Fairy Tail]

to learn about a lucy (with a look into the future.) by るる凪 - nagi (arurun)

A watching the future fanfic.

It's currently X781, three years before canon. A group of Fairy Tail mages find themselves in a large building, with no known way out.

They sit down, and they watch the future.

(This is so much more fun than I thought it would be and I'm so happy I found this fic. This fic reignited my old love for this fandom and I hope it does for you too!)

-

[Harry Potter]

sunflowers by Marnie27

One day, a young girl sits on the edge of a well. On this day, she falls in. Then the next, she’s not even a ‘she’ anymore. He’s Peter Pettigrew — doomed to die at the hands of his (betrayed) friend’s son.

Peter is selfish, bitter and brash. He’s not some fairy tale hero, he doesn’t care if everyone around him dies, as long as he lives. The marauders are annoying and childish. Survival is his priority, and he can’t afford to face distractions.

This just makes the fact that soulmates are now apparently a thing all the more godawful.

(And then another day years later he falls into an entirely new impossibility, Remus Lupin in tow, right into the third book of Harry Potter. Smack bang on the other Peter Pettigrew’s grave).

It’s confusing and graceless, and entirely something that would happen to him of all people.

(Self-insert fic where a girl reincarnates into Peter Pettigrew! And there are soulmates! And it's angsty and hilarious and Peter is an Asshole (somewhat unintentionally lol). Always a fan of biased pov fics and characters slowly improving themselves and their mental health! Cause dying! Is! Traumatic! *smiley face* Please read!)

-

[Crossovers]

he's a killer queen, sunflower, guillotine by hoye

Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist, Harry Potter

He has to be the weirdest Hufflepuff Harry’s ever seen. Scratch that, he’s the weirdest Hufflepuff Hogwarts has ever seen.

(One thing everyone could agree on: NEVER call Edward Elric short.)

(This is peak Edward Elric and all the best things about him and I'm just having a Good Time. Friendships! Logical solutions! Marauder screentime! And so much More! *bright grin* It's a fun place here!)