#but he hates himself and has trouble seeing himself as anything beyond a tool

[f-o-x-t-r-o-t]

Do you think Jason would ever try and adopt kids of his own? I imagine he'd be beyond happy to have a family of his own even if he would need to leave the vigilante lifestyle behind but also wouldn't really imagine something like that being possible for himself in the first place. For several reasons.

First and foremost, we all need to be on the same page that Jason is canonically really good with kids. It's also canon that Jason has some of the worst familial luck in the world.

I think, to Jason, starting a family would be one of his pipe dreams. He knows intimately not every person should be a parent. That it's a parent's job to put their kid first and not every adult is capable of doing that. Jason predominately had to raise himself and had very little guidance as a young child from the adults around him. He's been on the receiving end of taking care of the adults who should've been taking care of him and has had their trauma/issues projected onto him his entire life. Jason has no idea where to start with raising a child. The only stepping stones he has are "Don't do what was done to you as a child" and "What did I need as a child?" Which can be helpful tools, but aren't stable foundations to raise a child on. To this day, Jason still doesn't know how he should actually be treated as a living human being. While he can usually reciprocate needs to others, he's constantly overshadowed by this weight that he's doing everything wrong.

Jason is pretty self-aware and he knows how damaging it is to be on the receiving end of a parent who's not capable of raising a kid. Whether he faults those adults or not, he would blame himself because he would be actively choosing to have a kid. Jason knows he's fucked up and he wouldn't want to fuck a kid up like how he was. Especially because Bruce did do that with a multiple of his: "I didn't want them to turn into me." Even further, Jason doesn't even pursue most (romantic) relationships because he's well aware of his many issues and enemies and how that can lead to many problems. In what world would he feel comfortable putting a child in that position if he fears projecting onto and/or damaging a fellow adult? I think he'd even view it as being selfish. How he's only adopting a child because "he wants one," "wants to help them," "etc." because again that didn't turn out well for Jason. The man knows he'd have to achieve a spectacular amount of healing before he'd be capable of raising a child and Jason doesn't fully know how or if he can heal from the life he's led. Besides that, Jason would constantly be worried about his old life coming back to haunt his new one.

The only way I could see him adopting kids would be if he left the vigilante business (which neither he nor I see happening) and probably somewhat cutting ties with the bats. Whether because of rocky relationships or because he knows being in contact with them would only allow trouble to lead back to him and the new life he's made. Like if Jason was hypothetically a parent, I don't think he'd trust himself to leave his kids around Bruce. If something were to happen to his kids (like killed by an enemy hypothetically), he knows damn well Bruce won't do anything about it except try to stop Jason from putting an end to whoever hurt his loved ones. He would Especially not let them be his sidekick. I know Scarlett and Duela, two girls people like putting as "his" (which ignores the fact that he and Duela used to be the same age. Before that, her older than him), were already loosely ~in the bizz~ so to speak, but he actively encouraged both girls to leave and be something more. Tyler, on the other hand, I hate how fandom always forgets his mom is right there and still around? Yes, she was in the hospital, but people forget that she got better and is getting help. Very dismissive and, to me, comes off as incredibly uncouth.

This isn't to say Jason doesn't know anything about kids and child care. I think Jason knows logically that X is abusive and can do Y to a child's development. But I think his own fears, insecurities, and rightfully placed concerns+considerations would get in the way of ever truly considering kids of his own. In fact, I think that's one of the things that could make Jason a really good parent: He knows that not everyone should be one.

TL;DR No, I don't think Jason would ever adopt/have kids in general because he fears doing to them what was done to him. I.E. Pushing and projecting trauma onto a kid because he knows he doesn't have the skills to be a long-time caretaker to a child. Let that man heal. Slapping him with a kid won't actually do that. You can argue he could "break the cycle of abuse," but I truly think Jason is too terrified to even attempt that because he knows that kids are actually their own person too and deserve to be treated as such. He would never adopt "Just because he's always wanted a kid/start a family of his own."

Really, most takes I see with giving Jason kids are because people either want to squeeze him out of vigilantism or so he can "be more like Bruce" with the adoption tendencies. Neither falls in line with canon Jason while also confusing long-term care = "being good with kids" which are not the same things.

[helicrazy]

💬

Send a ‘💬’ to catch a glimpse of a memory my muse has.

Vortex is flying through the skies faster than any helicopter should be able to. Once he received an embedded message with coordinates from his close friend, Caliber, who always used his comm line to chat with him, it became a race against time. One he refused to lose to.

A friend is in serious trouble, and Vortex doesn't know how bad the situation is until he arrives at a dark alloyed fortress beyond Kaon where he sees the aftermath of a fight in front of the entrance. He can see a body on the ground, beaten, and broken with energon splattered everywhere, almost like the mech had been dropped from a great height. When he gets closer he recognizes the red seeker instantly. His friend. His partner in crime.

"Caliber, can you hear me?" Vortex questions as he transforms and lands beside the mech. He kneels and reaches a servo out wanting to help, to hold his dear friend and let him know he would be alright. It's what most mechs would do anyway. Vortex, however, pulls his servo away, not knowing what to do in a situation like this. Normally he shrugs things off but this...

This felt different.

Caliber attempts to speak but coughs up energon instead. His right arm is bent in ways it shouldn't be, and his left leg is torn and sparking above his knee joint. The fall shatters nearly every inch of his frame along with his wings. He looks over to Vortex with dim flickering optics, knowing who is beside him, but he also feels so out of place that his close friend appears like a stranger.

"Caliber, it's Vortex. I don't know if you can hear me but..." The Combaticon stops himself as he can't spit out the rest of the words. He doesn't know what he's doing here, to rescue a friend sure, except there is nothing he can do. The repairs required are beyond his skill level and the seeker is in no condition to be transported elsewhere for help. "Tell me who did this to you."

The red mech could hear Vortex perfectly fine, the problem was making the connections required to respond to the words asked. Every time he opened his mouth more energon spilled out, trickling down both sides of his jaw. The easier option was to send another message to the copter with a name so he didn't struggle to get words out.

Vortex watches Caliber's frame bleed out as he receives the message, feeling a stinging sensation in his chest like he's been shot. It hurts not being able to do anything, to help in any way, yet he does have something in mind to offer to his partner. An easy solution to a tragic problem. "I hate to do this, but I can..." Vortex lets out a vent, feeling like he's choking on his words while trying to act like he can handle the situation. "I can end it for you. Quickly."

Caliber wheezed as he stopped coughing, only to gasp for a vent but energon was flooding them. His weak optics watch the copter while moving his good arm to fumble around his hip compartment, and pulls out a silver prod with two pointed tines at the end capable of stabbing and delivering high voltage shocks. It was his favorite torture device with his designation engraved into it and now he was giving it to Vortex to remember him by. Something the seeker had planned on giving to his good friend anyway since he recalled Vortex mentioning that he needed more electrocuting tools.

"G... Glad I-" Caliber manages to sputter out, as painful as each word was to say, but his friend deserved to hear it. "Got... to... know... you." He shuts his optics off and nods to the copter, showing he is ready.

Vortex takes the device, almost hesitantly, and looks it over before placing it in his subspace. He couldn't refuse a dying friend gift even if it did feel like taking a trophy from him. A servo reaches back to grab a rotor and places the tip on Caliber's chest before raising it above his helm. Ready to bring it down straight into the spark casing yet... he freezes. His arm struggles to move and for a moment he wants to drop the rotor, grab his friend, and pull him into an embrace.

Except Vortex doesn't, he can't, and brings the blade down onto Caliber's spark without another second thought. For someone who normally likes to watch the lights go out in one's optics, he can't bear to look directly at his friend as he ends his life. The pain in his chassis was already difficult to cope with and he wanted it to go away. He hates it and says his final farewell through painful words that he's glad the seeker couldn't hear.

"The same goes for you, Caliber."

[hlycrwn]

kinda wild how dimitri’s character is known to be  ‘ tortured by his own compassion ’  thereby implying that as dead set as he is on getting revenge for what happened during the tragedy he must also hate himself for it and despise the significant parts of himself that relish in bloodshed and hatred b/c that sort of cruelty has never and will never sit well with him regardless of whether or not its his own hands or someone else’s   &   dimitri likely was so quick to accept the role of an absolute monster b/c he already thought of himself that way simply due to what he felt and imagined on the inside even if he had not yet done anything too atrocious at the time .

anyway  ,  dimitri hates himself   &   the kindness in his heart is constantly at odds with the hatred that is also present and he is  ,  at almost all times  ,  slowly ripping himself apart as he fails to devote himself to one side or another of himself .

[senjuushi]

Hhmmmm. Consider. In order to balance effects of antique and modern gun powers, they are forced to partner up, with each master obliged to have more or less same amount of each sort of guns. How would Gras, Ghost and Herme react?

Gras

He's far from a fan of this arrangement— especially if his brother is involved. Gras can't stand not being enough for you. Even if it's merely on an official level, it infuriates him to no end that he already has to share the Master that's supposed to be his. If you have other options, and options like Chassepot, at that, then why would you ever choose him? The chances of him sabotaging your Antiques are high; he's all but guaranteed to get himself in trouble somehow when the jealousy gets the better of him.

Ghost

His first expectation is that you'll forget about him as soon as other guns are involved. Ghost has plenty of jealousy issues when it comes to other Moderns— getting Antiques involved just leaves him seething and terrified of being abandoned. However, he's also not brave enough to do anything about it. Ghost is most likely to give up and resign himself to blending into the background and being his usual, unwanted self. He hates the situation entirely, but he's not expecting anything beyond his lowest hopes.

Herme

If those are the regulations, then Herme has no complaints. He doesn't worry too much about being replaced or overlooked— he's an exceptional weapon in every regard, after all. Depending on which Antiques you're paired with, he may tolerate the situation better or worse, but Herme is secure enough in his own worth (and detached enough from his Master) that it doesn't excessively bother him. He'd much rather you continue to see him and his fellow Musketeers as mere tools at your disposal, after all.

[notebooks-and-laptops]

really damn pretty though

some adoribull based on the dialogue Bull has about wanting a sword made out of dawnstone (banter with Blackwall), and finding the idea of someone making weapons by hand hot (banter with Varric). You can also read this here on AO3!

-///-

If Dorian had known it would be this damn difficult to make a stupid weapon, he wouldn’t have bothered.

His fingers had blisters on them. Dagna kept laughing at him, she’d even invited Sera down to watch his descent into madness.

Stupid, brittle dawnstone. It wasn’t even good for weapons. And he’d cut himself using Cadash’s tools when he’d collected it from the freezing wastes of the Emprise de Lion. He should give up and pick a better material. He should just give up altogether.

“Aren’t you a mage? Can’t you just—” Sera made an explosion sound, fingers wiggling, “zap!”

Dorian rolled his eyes, “No.”

Dagna hoped up on the table, “doesn’t work like that. Magics good for some stuff, for filling in the gaps, making something new. But the base has to be there to begin with.”

Sera frowned, poking Dorian’s shoulder, “Seems an awful lot of bother just to get a good fucking, like, can’t you just give him flowers or something?”

Dorian gritted his teeth, “I didn’t say I was making this for someone else.”

“Pft,” Sera let out another short laugh. Sometimes, Dorian hated her. “As if. You don’t use swords, even. You’re doing it for tall and horny. Ha! Horny. Get it? Didn’t even mean to do that. Anyway. You’re doing it for him. I know it. Everyone knows it. What I don’t know is how you can walk straight come morning.”

Dagna did a horrible job at hiding her giggle behind her hand.

Dorian sincerely hoped that Harritt didn’t come back from lunch anytime soon.

“Eloquent as ever, Sera,” Dorian murmured.

“Eloquent, smeloquent. I’m not the one trying to make weapons without any idea how.”

“I’ve read books.” He had, actually. Extensively. From the moment he’d heard Bull talk with Blackwall about what his ideal blade would be forged out of. Of course, back then he’d been planning on just commissioning someone else to make it at the inquisition, like Cadash did with all their weapons.

But then Bull had had to go talk to Varric about his not-so-secret affair and had mentioned he found it hot that Bianca made weapons with her own hands and now…

And now Dorian’s will was being pushed to the limit as he stared down at a rather horrendously crafted sword.

He kept burning his fingers too when he tried to use the forge. The blisters were angry and red.

It was a stupid idea. It was too much. It was supposed to be—something else. Just something he could lay on Bull’s bedside, claim to have made with his own hands and get a nice dicking down for his trouble.

Except it was considerably more trouble than he’d expected.

Which meant it was a thing now. If he gave it to Bull, in all its horrific glory, when it was finally made, he’d be admitting…something. Something he wasn’t sure he was ready to admit. But if he gave up now, he’d hate himself even more.

Horrible. Horrible. Dorian truly hated being put in these situations. Why he’d done this to himself was beyond him; wrapped up in the same unfathomable reason he’d given in to all Bull’s flirting and gone to bed with him in the first place.

“I think it’s sweet,” Dagna cut in, “you’re doing great, Dorian. He’ll love it.”

Dorian grumbled, “don’t you two have somewhere else to be? Bees to put in someone’s bedsheets? Explosives to set off in the great hall?”

“Bees in bedsheets! Great idea!” Sera jumped up, pressing a kiss to Dagna’s cheek on her way past, “gonna get started on that. See ya!”

Sera was an absolute whirlwind sometimes.

At least she was gone. Dorian could deal with just the one of them, and Dagna was a lot kinder and… tactful than her counterpart.

Dorian sighed. This really was a horrible idea. The blade…it wasn’t even shaping up to be anything good. The likihood of Bull being able to use it for anything at all was decreased every second he worked on it.

“He really will like it, you know,” Dagna had come closer, “you just need a bit more control. Here, I’ll show you.”

And so, despite the fact that it was a stupid weapon, despite the fact that he shouldn’t have bothered, Dorian continued.

-///-

It took another two weeks.

Another two weeks of spending every spare moment in that damn undercroft, rather than in his regular spot in the library.

Worse, Sera had told Cadash, who’d told Blackwall, who’d told Solas, who for some maker forsaken reason had told Varric. Which meant that the whole affair was probably going to be immortalised in some stupid smutty story where his name was spelt just wrong enough that he wouldn’t be able to sue.

But it was done.

It was…fine, as swords went. Cadash had given her blessing, although she’d admitted it was a little unbalanced at the hilt.

Dagna had shown him how to enchant it when it was done. Dorian ran his finger along the pink surface, feeling his own magic underneath his fingertips. Fire. He’d infused it with fire, his own speciality.

It was probably far, far too much.

He should throw it in the bin while he had the chance. Or better, off the side of the battlements, into the ravine, where it would never be found again. It would be satisfying, to watch it tumble into the abyss.

It would also be a waste of inquisition resources.

Besides, if he didn’t give it to Bull, Bull was bound to find out about it anyway. The biggest gossips in Thedas lived in Skyhold and all of them were on good terms with the Bull.

So, he wrapped it up, hefting its ridiculous weight up the stairs to Bull’s quarters with only a minor enchantment to help carry it. He needed to stop overthinking it, stop worrying about it. The Bull would just…take it. He’d take it, and Dorian would pretend that he hadn’t put the amount of work into it that he clearly had and he’d get fucked for his trouble and Bull didn’t even have to read between the lines.

Except for the fact that Bull was always reading between the damn lines.

He was infuriating that way.

Dorian pushed open the door to his quarters, feeling completely put upon the whole world.

“What you got there?”

Bull was on his bed (their bed, really, Bull hadn’t slept in his own quarters in months), leafing through what looked suspiciously like a copy of Swords and Shields.

“A gift,” Dorian muttered.

Bull raised his eyebrow, setting the book down, “for me?”

“Well, do you see anyone else here, you big brute?” Dorian snapped, depositing the cloth wrapped sword in his hands, “don’t expect anything special. Just go ahead and open it.”

“Aww, you got me a gift,” Bull grinned that self-satisfied grin that made Dorian want to do ridiculous things like kiss him right on his dumb lips.

“Don’t make a fuss,” Dorian insisted, waiting as Bull unwrapped it.

He didn’t…quite know where to look actually. When was the last time he’d given someone a gift like this? Never. It was hardly as if hand-fashioned gifts were common in Tevinter among his class. He’d never had to hand fashion anything in his life if he didn’t want to. And now he’d gone and debased himself for a Qunari savage of all people.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to see Bull’s face, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to not see it either. He settled for studying the floor.

“Whoa,” Bull murmured, and Dorian might have caught an actual hint of…excitement? From the corner of his eye, Dorian watched him pick it up, watched Bull test it in his hands.

“Horribly made, yes, but there is it. Cadash says the weight is off, which means it’s completely useless in the field – would be useless anyway, why you’re so obsessed with dawnstone is beyond me, it’s horribly brittle and you could just make your armour out of it and leave the swords to better materials, and I was absolutely horrible to smith and—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Bull ran his finger over the metal, “you made this?”

“Well, I’d hardly give you a gift I’d plundered off some corpse. I’m not Cadash.” Dorian could feel the heat rising to his cheeks despite himself. Damn it. Why could he never get himself under control around the literal Qunari spy trained to read facial expressions, “don’t make a fuss.”

Something glinted in Bull’s eye, something that looked worryingly like making a fuss. Dorian held his breath and waited for…something. But then Bull just turned his attention back to the sword. “It feels like you,” he murmured, “like your barriers, or that thing you do in bed with the electricity. You enchant it?”

“Fire rune. Will activate when you draw it on enemies. Try not to burn yourself on it.”

Bull took a few more moments to admire the weapon, before setting it neatly against the wall, “I’m going to kiss you now.”

“If you must,” Dorian murmured, before finding himself pulled closer by Bull’s huge hands. He didn’t mind. Kissing Bull was like…like nothing else Dorian knew. Which was cliché, and horrible, and Dorian hated himself for thinking it. But he also knew he’d never tire of it. Bull wore passion like a badge of pride, and he put it into every touch they shared, like every time was the first.

It was intoxicating.

It made Dorian do stupid, ridiculous things like hand make brittle swords.

It made Dorian do stupid, ridiculous things like imagining a future beyond the whole end of the world mess, a future where he could have this.

“Thank you, Kadan,” Bull murmured, “I’ll treasure it.”

Dorian didn’t ask what the unfamiliar word meant. It wasn’t the first time Bull had called him it, but it was the first time Bull had called him it sober.

Dorian had the horrible – wonderful, amazing – feeling that it was a term of endearment. But he wasn’t ready to face up to the truth of that just yet.

For now… “I made it myself, with these hands. I seem to remember you telling Varric you found that sort of thing hot.”

Bull’s answering laugh was worth all the stupid time it had taken to make the damn thing.

[sketching-shark]

Monkie kid fandom: o well macaques a morally grey character he’s got a traumatic past and Sun Wukongs so mean and evil for leaving him

Reality: Macaque is literally ment to the representative of Sun Wukongs EVIL side and having a “traumatic past” doesn’t justify literally trying to kill people who had nothing to do with it he also traumatised Mk because he can and because he’s connected to Sun Wukong. Sun Wukong choose to change his ways macaque just decided “you no what am going to kill this monk because he’s connected to somebody who left me.” I don’t understand how people try so hard to Villainise Sun Wukong when’s he’s literally ment to be one of the first ever superheroes. 

Haha oh geez that is how it often feels.

Like at this point there does seem to be something of an effort to make Sun Wukong look bad in order to absolve Macaque of a lot of wrong-doing...But as you mentioned, besides it being the case that the Six-Eared Macaque was originally made to function as a representative and/or living embodiment of Sun Wukong's anger and violent tendencies (hence why Sun Wukong's a lot less prone to sudden acts of violence after he kills the six-eared simian in JTTW), given all the murder attempts and manipulation and literal acts of kidnapping/brainwashing/mind control he's committed in the lego monkey show, personally I feel like the dude is pretty much as viciously jealous & as willing to throw people under the bus to achieve his aims as he is in Journey to the West.

Like I know that Monkie Kid diverges from JTTW in a number of ways (a big change being that Sun Wukong had beat up a lot of demons instead of smashing them into meat patties lol), but one of the things that does feel like it's being lost in translation, as it were, is that the Six Ear Macaque was a villain not just because he beat up the Tang Monk, but because he wanted to take over Sun Wukong's entire life and identity so he could have all that glory and prestige for himself. To quote the macaque himself from the Anthony C. Yu translation, "I struck the T'ang monk and I took the luggage...precisely because I want to go to the West all by myself to ask Buddha for the scriptures. When I deliver them to the Land of the East, it will be my success and no one else's. Those people of the South Jambudvipa Continent will honor me then as their patriarch and my fame will last for all posterity." And in order to do this, the Six Eared Macaque had apparently made Sun Wukong's "little ones," his monkey family, his captives through either trickery or force, and gotten a number of them to take on the appearance of Tang Sanzang and the other pilgrims. It's also made clear that in direct contrast to Sun Wukong he doesn't care about these monkeys beyond how they might serve him, given that after Sha Wujing kills the monkey posing as him the Six Eared Macaque not only all but immediately replaces him with another, but also "told his little ones to have the dead monkey skinned. Then his meat was taken to be fried and served as food along with coconut and grape wines." So this monkey is not only willing to risk the lives of a lot of other monkeys for his own benefit, but is also a literal cannibal.

In Monkie Kid (at least according to Macaque, who is an unreliable narrator at best), he had been best of friends with Sun Wukong before Sun Wukong presumably went off to live in Heaven & abandoned all of his friends on Earth. And it is true that in Journey to the West, Sun Wukong had spent over a century of earthly years in heaven just enjoying himself before he gets into trouble by ruining the Immortal Peach Banquet and heading back down to his yaoguai kingdom. So in that regard, Macaque does have justification to hate Sun Wukong for having brought heaven's army to their mountain (of course you could say that starting a war over one banquet is a bit of an overreaction but that's a conversation for another day). What this does omit, however, is that the main reason Sun Wukong went to heaven in the first place is to see if he could get all of his monkeys to live up there, that he had spent centuries fortifying Flower Fruit Mountain from any and all threats beforehand, and that he brings back a bounty of immortality-granting wine, which all the monkeys eagerly drink. And perhaps most importantly, in the following war with heaven itself all of the assembled yaoguai were behind Sun Wukong 100%. He had already done so much for them, and they had already heard about how their great king was made to serve as a stable hand in heaven, and so got some sense of how little the heavens thought of them. This isn't to say that the Six Eared Macaque doesn't have reason to be mad at Sun Wukong or that the Monkey King doesn't share a lot of the blame for the events that led to the burning of Flower Fruit Mountain, but rather to say that all the assembled yaoguai weren't dragged into this war kicking and screaming. They seem to have regarded it as much as a power struggle with great potential rewards and which they could win as much as Sun Wukong did.

But going back to this version of the Six Eared Macaque, I find him interesting because I read him not as morally grey but rather as this frightening, somewhat tragic figure who's jealously of and resentment against Sun Wukong seems to have festered and grown to the point where it's become the sole defining feature of his life; like he's just gone from wanting to literally be Sun Wukong to wanting revenge against the Monkey King, and in all his centuries of living he hasn't allowed anything else to shape his life. After 500 years of apparently not really doing anything, after Sun Wukong made a reappearance Macaque just seem to be targeting anyone and anything that he thinks will let him hurt Sun Wukong, no matter the cost to others or to himself. It's like he was put into the role of Sun Wukong's doppelganger/shadow/evil clone, and he's now hellbent on staying in that position, no matter how much it hurts him or holds him back from cultivating his own individuality or his own story because that's the only way he feels he gain back his past power and/or stay connected to the Monkey King. There is something really tragic about a character who feels so damaged by and/or is so obsessed with the past that they stay in this stagnant position where they never even attempt to try something different from their destructive and self-damaging behavior, but that's precisely what makes Macaque a good villain as well. Besides being a clever and calculating villain, he never developed a sense of morality like Sun Wukong, he still treats everyone around him like tools, and his self-righteousness gives him "permission" to be a relentless monster to MK, all of MK's loved ones, and Sun Wukong himself. I know it's pretty common in media these days to start a villain down the path of redemption & into the bosom of team good guy by having them be hurt by an even worse villain, but personally I would love to see a story arc where Macaque actually has a realization of how horrible his behavior has been and to feel genuine remorse for it (maybe brought about by the violence he's likely suffering at the hands of the Lady Bone Demon, in a kind of "hey being manipulated and hurt for the benefit of others actually sucks oh no I can't believe I thought it was okay when I did it"), but then also has to face the consequence of his former student and former best friend (actually likely the entire monkie crew given the whole kidnapping/brainwashing/mind-controlling thing) never wanting anything to do with him again & cutting him out of their lives completely. I think he could still change for the better under such a scenario, but the seriousness of his bad actions shouldn't be swept under the rug.

In conclusion, I think a "redemption without forgiveness" story line could work really well for Monkie Kid's version of the Six-Eared Macaque in a kind of "you can't just do horrible things and then cry about your past like that somehow makes it okay" way, and smh at the Monkie Kid fandom for all the work put into giving Sun Wukong and only Sun Wukong flak for his and Macaque's fight.

Like if you have to demonize the Monkey King, at least go after him for having been a warlord.

[magnoliabloomfield]

Possession 13

Nikola spent a lot of time in her room until her period was over, the boys were just too loud even when they didn’t mean to be annoying, and she was still a bit too embarrassed to face Gally. Not only had he helped her clean the blood from her sheets while he was shirtless, she’d also made that weird, hormonal declaration to him from her balcony. But she wouldn’t take it back either because it was true, Gally was just about the sweetest person in existence even if he did have a hardened exterior, or didn’t express himself with tremendous amounts of warmth. The things he did were always just right in his own unique way.

The attention most boys gave her felt meaningless since she was the only girl. It was hard to feel special without other options to be chosen from. Did they like her personality? Did anyone like her with their brains or their heart, or just their hormones?

She wanted to think Gally cared for her beyond the superficial, but she feared the day another girl would show up that he might like better than her, or they got out and there were so many to choose from, what if he didn’t really want her but was settling because she was all there was? But that’s how life was. A small world with one girl and one Gally.

She was supposed to work on some mending that day and went to Gally’s work bench for a pair of scissors. He wasn’t anywhere in sight even as she scanned extra hard for him. She did notice Shawn looking her way and quickly averted her gaze. She grabbed the scissors and looked for a scrap of paper to leave a note on. Gally didn’t like his things going missing, so she was going to let him know she had them and where she’d be if he really needed them back. As she searched she noticed something.

Moving some things out of the way she saw drawings, somewhere between a sketch and a doodle, and it was all of her. She was shocked at how good the drawings were, but even more shocked by how beautiful the artist seemed to think she was. She’d caught some glimpses in rusty mirrors and still water, she didn’t really look that good. She couldn’t fool herself, this was Gally’s table, Gally’s stuff, so it had to be Gally’s drawings. Honestly if he saw one of his builders doodling away he wouldn’t stand for it or keep it around.

She bit back a huge smile before she covered it back up and looked around for his to-do list, maybe that would tell her where to find him. But what would she do when she found him? Say ‘hey, I saw your drawings of me,’ …then what? She just wanted to see him, just be around him, even without a reason. When she did find him he was in the dead heads with the other builders looking for any trees that could come down, or branches for fires or tools. He was busy and there was no privacy, she couldn’t play off going to see him as anything but going to see him just because she wanted to.

~~~

At dinner Gally got a huge surprise. Nikola was sitting at his usual table. It felt like his heart did an extra big thump when he saw her there in the evening glow. He saw Newt make a dash for the table as fast as his limp would let him, looking ready to be entertained by Gally who he claimed was ‘totally whipped’, whatever that meant. They were saying hello to each other as Gally sat down across from her.

“Hey,” she greeted him with a smile in front of all the other boys. “Did you get my note about borrowing your scissors today?”

“Yeah, I did,” he nodded, glancing at Newt who was watching them like they were a compelling tennis match. “Thanks for putting them back.”

“I saw your sketches,” she said innocently enough but there was flicker in her eyes that made him freeze.

The sketches. The sketches of her, she saw them, oh crap.

“They’re really good, I think you could make a perfect greenhouse if you had the glass for it,” she went on, but her eyes told him she wasn’t really talking about the greenhouse. Strange too was that she didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest.

Gally swallowed despite not having taken a bite of food yet. “Thanks. I like to plan ahead for future possibilities.”

“You never planned for this possibility,” Newt smirked as he pointed at Nikola.

Gally shrugged. “You can’t plan for everything.”

“Very true,” Newt admitted. “I mean, you were quite worried about the effects a girl in the glade might have, but nothing terrible has happened yet and you seem to get along thick as thieves.”

Gally gave Newt a hard stare.

“He does like to keep the chaos organized, doesn’t he?” Nikola conspired with Newt, a well meaning tone in her teasing. “Honestly, what would you do without him?”

“Better question is what you’d do without him,” Newt countered. He had spent enough time with her to realize who she fancied, no matter how stoic and subtle she tried to be.

“Oof,” she got a thoughtful look on her face. “Well, I’d be homeless.”

Newt laughed and even Gally cracked a smile.

“I might be under someones thumb, too,” she went on. “Without Gally advocating for me to get on the council. I wouldn’t have my swing!”

“Yeah, I heard about that,” Newt said looking right at Gally with an almost taunting grin.

“But all that sounds pretty terrible,” she waved it off. “It’s not just about the things Gally has done for me, or what I’ve gotten from him. He’s my best friend.”

“Is he now?” Newt asked in surprise that sounded more genuine than teasing. Meanwhile Gally could feel that he had gone absolutely, unsubtly red.

“He is,” Nikola smiled, looking at Gally as she answered Newt’s question, watching him adoringly as he bashfully avoided her gaze with red cheeks and ears as he pushed food around on his plate.

“I have bad news for you, love,” Newt sighed. “Gally’s best friend is me. Isn’t that right, Gally?”

Gally looked at him with one raised brow but didn’t say anything which Newt found very amusing in itself. But then Newt gave a sigh as if the fun was over.

“I know it’s- well actually I can only try to imagine how hard it is for you being the only girl here, and how there are so many normal and fun things you should be able to do… but this place is anything but normal. I get it, I don’t mind the fun and the teasing, but there are some who might. I know it’s not fair, but try to be a bit more careful. I really would hate to see either of you get hurt if someone got the wrong idea.”

Nikola looked thoroughly chastised even though Newt had spoken so soft and kindly.

“Right. You’re right,” she nodded as she looked down at her lap and bit her lips. She looked back up with just a ghost of the smile she was wearing before. “I guess I got away from myself there. I’ll have to work on that.”

Gally felt his heart sinking in his chest. He knew Newt was right but he didn’t want her to become reserved and shy away from him just to try and keep peace with some jealous shanks. She’d done all this just because she had seen his sketches of her, had he made her that happy to begin with?

“I guess I’ll go ahead and turn in then,” She said with a shine to her eyes that he hadn’t seen on her before, but he recognized it still because even boys cried.

She said goodnight and took her plate to the kitchen before heading to her house without looking back. It was all going on behind Gally’s back and he couldn’t look at her without making it obvious, but he watched Newt watching her, his longer hair hiding his gaze from others around him.

“I’ve gotten it all wrong haven’t I?” Newt sighed after Nikola disappeared from his view.

“How’s that?” Gally asked, suddenly not so hungry anymore.

“I think you’re the one who has her wrapped around your finger,” Newt clarified making Gally blush again against his will.

“I don’t,” Gally tried to argue quietly and just earned a disbelieving look.

“You best be very careful,” Newt warned. “No one says anything around you because they know you’re protective of her, and you can beat them to a bloody pulp, but there are some boys who would be very sore if she was taken. I know you can take anyone one-on-one but I don’t know if you could take them all at once, and I’m afraid it could come to that.”

“Who is saying what about Nikola?” Gally demanded.

“Oh god, it’s mutual pining,” Newt sighed to himself tiredly as he rubbed his face. “I’m not going to tell you that because you can’t act like you don’t know and you’d end up in trouble any way. For her sake and yours just tread carefully.”

“I don’t want things to go backwards. She trusts me, she knows I’d do anything to protect her,” Gally spilled without meaning to.

“If you’re willing to do anything than do this, just back off a bit when others are around,” Newt suggested.

When Gally didn’t say anything to that Newt just shrugged and took his dishes back to the kitchen. Gally sat there at his table alone, deep in thought and murky, unhappy feelings. He stayed there so long, Fry came over himself to take his dishes to the wash. He sat there till all the others had gone to bed, knowing his thoughts would keep him awake anyway.

~~~~~

A few days passed where Nikola and Gally did the last thing on earth they wanted to do and kept their distance most of the time. But when they did get a chance to interact they both made an effort to subtly assure the other that it wasn’t personal, that nothing had changed between them.

Nikola was sitting up in her house with various scraps of things arranged on her floor and was figuring out how to recycle them into something useful when Newt called up to her. She went out on her balcony and frowned when she saw his face.

“I need you to come with me,” he said apologetically. “It’s a gathering… of sorts.”

Her heart plummeted. She was shaking as she tried to go down her ladder and it made it difficult. She didn’t say anything as she walked with Newt, her mind racing with so many things at once and her stomach feeling twisted beyond untangling.

When she stepped inside she saw Alby, Gally, and Shawn. She narrowed her eyes slightly at the latter even though she was trying very hard not to give any of her emotions away. Gally didn’t seem happy with him either and Alby just looked completely impatient. Nikola just looked at him, not willing to say a word until she knew what was going on.

Alby reached out and handed her a piece of paper. “Did you write this?”

She looked at him doubtfully as she plucked the paper from his hand and then looked down to read it, immediately seeing it was not her handwriting before she took in what it said. “No, not my handwriting,” she said quickly and passed it back.

“Read it, will you?” Alby said as he pushed it back.

She sighed but complied.

“It’s time for me to wash my sheets, why don’t you come and help me get them real good and dirty first? It was so fun last time.”

She hid her disgust and tried to morph it into confusion instead. She looked at the boys standing around her. “What the shuck does that mean?” she asked Alby like it was Greek to her.

“Shawn says he saw you and Gally washing your sheets very late one night, and Gally wasn’t fully dressed. Said you seemed very… close,” Alby explained, glancing at Shawn who had clearly orchestrated this whole thing.

“And the first conclusion you jumped to was that we were screwing?” She asked Shawn directly, as flat as possible. “No wonder you faked a note, if that’s all you’ve got to support that theory.”

“She didn’t deny it,” Shawn pointed out smugly to Alby.

“Right, because I was up late one night, I was washing my sheets, and Gally was helping me,” She admitted easily. “That all happened because I started my period in the middle of the night and had to clean blood off myself, my clothes, and my sheets before the stains set.” Everyone but Gally looked uncomfortable as soon as she said period. “And before he tells you he saw me write this note to Gally, I did write Gally a different note about taking the spare scissors when I did the mending. I can get the med journal and show you an example of Shawn’s hand writing and my own if you want, but Newt also heard me talk to Gally about the scissors that day as well.”

Newt nodded to that and Alby threw an unhappy glare at Shawn’s now pale and unamused face. “I think we’re good here, you two can go,” He said to her and Gally, his gaze still fixed on Shawn.

Gally had fixed Shawn with a glare of his own and didn’t seem to be going anywhere, even as Nikola headed toward the door.

“Gally,” Newt said with a warning tone.

Gally let his arms uncross themselves slowly, eyes fixed on Shawn for as long as he could before walking away and following Nikola out the door.

She was out there squinting in the sun waiting for him.

“At least that was easy right?” she commented as they fell into step with each other. “I know that means it’ll only be worse the next time though. I’m sorry Gally-“

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” He blurted, some of his anger at Shawn coming out in his tone with her. He stopped in his tracks and took a deep breath to calm down, then looked up to see her anxious face staring up at him. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he repeated more softly, “And neither do I. He’s an idiot, and I don’t care what else he does, you’re my friend and I’m yours and I won’t allow any amount of childish jealousy to change that.”

His fists were clenched and his heart pounded in his ears. Nikola’s eyes were wide and he saw her swallow before she nodded vigorously.

“Yeah, absolutely,” she agreed. “Same here.”

Neither of them realized what it would take to keep that promise to each other.

Masterlist

@frequentlychangingfandoms @quackquackbi @poulterjonas @crazysheeplyca @pre-google @gladerscake @neilox @thesuitkovian @carp3d1em @cottoncandy-dreamxd @emilyhadenbaker

[iliumheightnights]

The children are our future? | Peter Parker x Male Reader

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Peter Parker x Male!Stark Reader

Summary:  (M/N) goes to surprise Peter and pick him up from school. While there a student tries to befriend him and (M/N) may or may not have lost his temper after realizing who it was.

A/N: I’ve been reading loads of fics about Peter and the field trip trope and like...maybe that’s coming… ;)

…

Peter tapped his pencil against the desktop repeatedly. It was obvious the school day was dragging on and he was ready to get out of there. He always wanted to get out of school early but even more so since he was supposed to be working with Tony in the lab today. Of course that would happen AFTER he saw his boyfriend, he always came first.

Peter was brought out of his boredom when he felt his spidey senses going off and no soon after something hit his head. It didn’t hurt and when he looked it was just a crumpled up piece of paper. He shouldn’t pick up that paper, everything in his body said to just ignore it. So he did, he ignored it. Then after a little bit another one hit him. Then another. Then another. He could tell it was Flash trying to mess with him and as much as he hated saying it, it was working. With one last paper ball Peter had enough.”WHAT!?” He glared at the boy who was only smirking at him. “MR.PARKER! What is going on?!” Peter felt his stomach drop. Oh he was in trouble. “I...I was-” “See me after class!” The whole class snickered and Flash smirked at him. Peter hated it here.

Peter stayed after class to get a talking to by the teacher. He was angry to say the least, Flash never got in trouble or anything. It should be him here not Peter. The teacher was going on about respect and not causing trouble, Peter really wasn’t listening if he was being honest.  After the rant Peter left the class to be greeted by Ned. “Hey, figured I’d wait for you. How’d it go in there?” Peter shrugged his shoulders. “Nothing important. Just another person who won’t deal with Flash.” Ned nudged him. “At least you didn’t get like, detention or anything. We can deal with Flash another day.” Peter and Ned exited the front door of the school and heard whispers and talk. “Is that (M/N) Stark?” “What’s HE doing here?” Peter looked up and gulped. There he was, his boyfriend...looking absolutely annoyed with a starstruck Flash talking to him. “Or he’s gonna deal with him.”

…

(M/N) Stark leaned against the passenger side of the car. He was there on a mission, Peter had been acting strange for the past week and it was worrying him. He was so worried he got in contact with Ned, who after several minutes of questions, told him about Peter’s bully Flash. (M/N) would have dealt with it sooner had he any name other than a Fake name to go off of. He could have asked Ned but (M/N) had a better idea. 

Before Happy could even reach his car, the poor man was intercepted by (M/N). “Sup Happy. You out to get Peter? Well belay that order, I’m picking him up today. Go out and get yourself some lunch you deserve it.” Happy didn’t know what was happening but he watched as (M/N) got into one of Tony’s sports cars and drove out of the parking garage. That’s how he found himself outside of Midtown High.

(M/N) was scrolling on his phone waiting for his boyfriend to arrive. The school bell rang and students started walking out. He could hear people talking about him and it made him smirk. “Holy shit! You’re (M/N) Stark!”  (M/N) looked up to see a boy who looked like he was about to faint. “That’s me.” He didn’t say anything else as he returned to his phone. “What are you doing here? Never mind. You have a really cool car! I got a sick ride too! I can show it to ya if you want! Oh! Can I get a photo?” (M/N) let out a sigh. He didn’t want to be rude, but frankly this kid was getting on his nerves. “What’s your name kid?” “Eugene, Eugene Thompson. But you can call me-” He stopped as Peter and Ned came walking up. (M/N) smiled at his boyfriend who was smiling back at him. “Hey.” Peter said but was interrupted by Flash. “Hey Penis! Can’t you see the two of us are talking? Trying to make it seem like that Stark internship is a real thing?” Peter glanced to his boyfriend who was still smiling, but his eyes held the intent to murder. “I bet (M/N) here would just LOVE to hear about it. A loser like you wouldn’t even be able to go through the front doors!” Peter smirked at Flash. 

(M/N) started typing into his phone, still smiling. “You know what EUGENE. I would LOVE to hear about it. Why can’t Peter here walk through the front doors when he is one of the best interns my father has ever had?” Flash looked shocked while Peter was smirking, Ned looking somewhat lost and happy. (M/N) was still typing on his phone. “Also I should point out that the very boy you are insulting and calling penis is actually my boyfriend and if you know anything about me...I don’t take kindly to people who hurt the people that I love. And....done.” (M/N) looked back up from his phone to Flash. “You have now been blacklisted from every ivy league college on the eastern seaboard. You’re welcome. You’ll be lucky if even a community college accepts you here.”(M/N) held up his phone and took a photo of Flash’s red face. “What!? Y-You can’t do that!” (M/N) smirked. “I can. You know why? I’m (M/N) fucking Stark and you fucked with my boyfriend. You’re lucky that being blacklisted was all I did.” He stepped closer to the boy and tightly gripped his shoulder. “Because if I wasn’t so good about controlling my anger.” He let some of his powers slip through to let his eyes light up. “You wouldn’t live to see graduation. Now get out of here and don’t let me hear about you messing with Peter, his friends, or anyone else again.” Flash looked like he was on the verge of tears but nodded and ran away. Before he could get too far (M/N) stopped him. “Oh and Eugene! This isn’t over, I’ll be watching.”

With everything that went down it was no surprise that most of the students were staring at them. Some shocked still from the Stark boy being at their school, others for what he just did to Flash. They weren’t sure what he could really do to them so no one dared say anything or take videos. Turning to a blushing Peter, (M/N) smiled brightly at him. “Hey babe.” Peter smiled and looked embarrassingly at his feet. “Did you really have to do that?” (M/N) smirked at his boyfriend and held onto his shoulders. “Of course I did. He was a dick to you and annoying me. He made his bed now he gets to lay in it.” Peter was about to say something else but his boyfriend cut him off by pressing his lips to Peter’s. The sound of gasps and whispers could be heard, but neither of them cared. Pulling apart (M/N) opened the passenger door. “Shall we go? I’m sure dad’s already working in the lab.” He turned to Ned who was looking shocked beyond belief but also smiling broadly. “Thanks again for your help Ned. Much appreciated.” Ned nodded. “Anytime. See ya later Peter. Bye (M/N)!” 

Peter said his goodbye before sitting in the car. (M/N) got into the driver's seat and pulled away from the school. “Man...I really hate public school. You sure you don’t want dad to just...pull some strings and get you into M.I.T or something?” Peter chuckled at that and looked at him. “Yeah I’m sure, I’d miss Ned and MJ too much. Besides I have a feeling it’ll be alright now that you’ve dealt with Flash. Don’t think anyone else would want to get on your bad side.” (M/N) shook his head with a smile. “Good. They better not, otherwise I’ll come after them. I wonder if that twerps gonna go run to mommy and daddy. If he does...I’ll end them too.” Peter’s soft smile turned into a glare. “Don’t do anything that you’ll regret or that will be too...bad.” (M/N) huffed a laugh. “TOO BAD!? What are you five? Don’t worry it’s not like I’ll ruin their lives...just make it a little more difficult.” Peter put his face in his hands but smirked. “Sometimes I worry about you.”

“You love me.”

“Maybe TOO much.”

…

The rest of the drive had been pretty uneventful. Just small talk about what each other's day had been like. Peter had made sure to leave out the part about Flash getting him in trouble, if he told his boyfriend that he’d ruin his life even more than he already had. When they had arrived at the tower Peter wanted to do nothing more than to lay down with his boyfriend but Tony wanted his help in the lab.

“So I heard my son single handedly ruined a kid's life today.” Peter blushed at Tony’s words and focused on the project in front of him. “Ugh..k-kind of. I can try talking to him to undo it.” He heard Tony scoff. “Don’t you dare. That kid deserves it and plus...you honestly think we’d be able to get (M/N) to undo it?” Peter laughed along with Tony, at least he didn’t seem mad about it. “The question is kid...why didn’t you tell us? We would have done something a lot sooner and maybe less...intense.” Peter didn’t know what to say. He had wanted to tell them about everything but also didn’t want to at the same time. “Well, I DID want to tell you. I just...didn’t want to bother either of you. I just thought it was something I’d be able to deal with on my own. Figured it wasn’t that important.” Peter shrugged but felt Tony’s hand on his shoulder and he was soon facing his mentor/future father inlaw. “Peter. We both love you. Anything that deals with you is important to us. We want to make sure that you’re okay and living your best life. Asshats like that try and get off on pushing people around thinking they can get away with it. Now he won’t do it to you or anyone else again. Please, if something like this happens again tell us. We’re here for you.” Peter let out a sigh and felt tears building up in his eyes. “Thanks Mr.Stark.” Tony pulled him into a hug. “Anytime underoos. Now...Put away your tools and stuff. I’m sure my kid’s anxiously waiting for you upstairs.” Peter pulled back from the hug and began putting everything away. Tony going back to his own project. Peter was heading out of the lab when Tony called out again. “Also if you two get heated just make sure to wear protection!” Peter blushed. “Mr-Mr.Stark!” Tony waved him off. “Kidding! Kidding! Now go on!”

Peter walked to the common room where (M/N) was laying on the couch watching tv, when he saw Peter he smiled. “Hey. You’re done early.” Peter walked over and sat beside him. “Yeah. Your dad let me out.” Peter leaned his head on his boyfriends shoulder as the others arm pulled him closer. “Doesn’t sound like my dad. Maybe he’s an imposter.” Peter rolled his eyes and sighed. “Did you really black list him from every college?” (M/N) scoffed. “Peter I’m not that cruel. I believe people can have redemption. But I DID block him from the good ones on the eastern side of the us. He can still go to community colleges or to good schools on the other side of the country. It’s not like he’s out of options.” Seeing his boyfriend's face he sighed. “Ugh. If you feel that’s too harsh I’ll undo it. But I think it’s the push he needed to understand.” Peter smiled at him. “I love you.” (M/N)’s breath hitched. “What? I mean I love you too but...how did that come about?” Peter blushed and kissed his cheek. “Because even though he was incredibly rude to me you still were willing to undo it for me. Which I don’t want you to. He’s rich, or at least well off, I’m sure he’ll be able to go across the country. And you’re right, he needs to learn...plus maybe I’m a little salty about the years of bullying he’s done.”

(M/N) leaned in, smiling at Peter. He cupped his face in his hands. “Honey. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I gotta say you’ve pretty much ruined me.” The two boys laughed at each other. “I’ve been told I’ve had that effect on people.” Peter leaned in and brushed his lips against (M/N)’s, who leaned deeper into the kiss. After a while the two separated and laid down together. “So...what are we going to watch?” “Have you seen clone wars?”

“Duh.”

An hour later Tony would walk in to find the two boys passed out on top of each other. Quietly he pulled out his phone and took a photo. “Nerds. But they’re my nerds.”

[palettepainter]

I’ve got post vaccine (moderna gang) shivers so I need to express fluff headcanons to spread good vibes

When Ecto was planning to propose, he had to keep it so hush hush because Higari can easily find things out. He didn’t tell anyone but higaris mother and his own parents. He was very happy that Higari was actually surprised with the proposal. Higari wears the rings on a necklace- his quirk doesn’t exactly make wedding rings easy to find.

As much as Higari prefers being a support hero, search and rescue jobs that go smoothly it’s very rewarding. He often checks up on those he’s managed to rescue, keeps in touch with some too. There’s this lovely older woman who he rescued from a crumbling retirement home who sends him baked goods every holiday. He visits her every month for tea.

When Ecto is sick, Higari cares for him easily. Even when Ecto acts like he isn’t sick. He’ll make him soup, make sure he’s resting, cold compress on his forehead. As stubborn as he is, ecto appreciates it.

Higaris favorite memory with his dad is digging around in the yard with him. Since they had the same quirks, it worked out. He showed him how to carve tunnels without the ground crumbling, or just played around in the dirt. There’s a picture of Higari when he was three, covered in dirt with his head peaking out of a hole. His dad was grinning, sitting near by like he was cheering him on. Sometimes, especially on days where thinking about his dad is hard, he’ll tell Ecto stories.

As someone who also got shivers after getting a vaccine I know the feeling, how you’re doing well!

Ecto proposing, Yes! I love the idea of Ecto proposing to Higari, and his rugged flirting smirking self just crumbles in the face of Ecto holding a ring to him. Ecto’s eyes are so full of love and he has such a soft grin on his face that Higari can’t help but tearing up, he tries to think of something flirty to say back, but he just can’t. He’s overwhelmed - probably ended up tackling Ecto in a hug with a big kiss, which threw Ecto off guard, thinking at first maybe he’d overwhelmed Higari when he started crying.

Higari wearing is around his neck, also yes. Higari’s wedding ring is the only thing that he will spend careful hours cleaning and polishing at the end of each day to make sure it stays in good condition, wears is around UA proudly - though I imagine for interviews outside of UA or when he’s called out for hero work he leaves it at home in a special box on his dresser or safely tucks it away in a drawer in the design studio, as much as he loves wearing the rink around his neck he dreads the thought of loosing it in a rescue, or having some nosy reports pester him for answers if they catch sight of it. 

With Higari’s gear I’m a firm believer he’d be a great rescue hero in say like natural disasters or if a building collapsed. With his giant robotic suit and his know how on construction he could easily map a safe route to evacuate citizens from an unstable building, or quickly find a way to clean up after a land slide. Need to move a giant tree? No problem he’ll move it no prob. Citizen can’t move because they’re leg hurts? He can carry em out to safety. Kids they rescued are bored while they’re waiting for parents to pick them up? Higari tolerates them clambering about on his hero suit like it’s a jungle gym

Anything with Higari caring for Ecto or vise versa is so wholesome! In my NGAU I imagine Higari prolly knows all the tricks to help when someone is sick, he grew up in a big house with tones of little siblings, as kids they got sick a lot with how often they played in the garden and mud, they’ve all got very strong immune systems so it’s rare Higari or his siblings get sick - but Higari still knows all the tricks to help nursing someone back to health. He remembers to give Ecto some medicine, make him some soup, hot water bottle if he’d cold, flannel if he’s too hot and plenty of liquids. A teenie tiny part of Ecto might even enjoy all the attention, appreciating Higari’s concern. Too bad Higari is too stubborn to actually treat himself when he’s sick, with how little he gets sick he doesn’t take it all that seriously - thankfully Ecto is a patient man with many clones, so is willing to drag Higari back to bed if needed XD

And the last one with his dad...

Anon: Are you trying to make me cry-

In my NGAU Powerloader’s dad was all over him, spoiled Higari so so much. Spent many lazy afternoons slacking off work when the missus wasn’t looking to play around with Higari (bragged for like a week straight that he got his quirk, proud dad moment). Higari’s mother came out into the garden to see how the boys where doing, she finds her husband and toddler son covered head to toe in dirt and mud. She gets angry at them, insisting the two need a bath if they want to have dinner. Toddler Higari hated baths from the day he was born apparently, and it’s only until dear old papa gives him a bath is he willing to get clean. His dad puts bubbles in Higari’s hair, and Higari splashes bubbles onto his dads beard, who then makes a silly face to make Higari laugh. Too bad only one hour after tea the two got dirty again-

The first time Higari used his quirk was when he was outside with his dad. His dad was working on fixing up the shed, Higari sitting in a small play pen outside with some toys while his dad stood close by, able to work while also keeping an eye on Higari. Higari, bored of playing with his building blocks, begins to drag his little hands at the ground, and before he knows it he’s tunneling his way to freedome beyond the bounds of his baby playpen. This kind of scneario probably ensued:

Kaigo (PL’s dad): Phew *picks up tool box and turns around* Alright sweetpea, time to go back insi- *freezes when he sees the playpen is empty, and no baby in sight* W-WHAT?! *drops tool box, and rapidly looks around* Uh- H-Higari?! Sweetpea?! Where’d you go?? Come to dad, this isn’t funny! *rushes around a bit*

Higari: *tunnles his way up to the surface in his mothers flowerbed, a small pile of dirt with a flower sticking out the top sitting on his head*

Kaigo: *searching in the bushes* H-Higari?! Higari! Where are you?! *mumbles* Shit I took my eyes off him for two minutes! Where the hell could he-

Higari: BAPA!

Kaigo: *jumps and whirls around*..*heaves and sigh and rushes over* Oh thank god! *scoops him into his arms for a hug* You stupid lil’ ankle biter! Don’t you ever do that again! *holds him out at arms length* How in the world did you even get out??

Higari: *sneezes from the dirt, making the flower fall off his head*

Kaigo:..Wait. Did..D-Did you, DIG your way out?!

Higari: *incoherent baby noises*

Kaigo;...Ooooh you are in SO much trouble young man, you know how many years off my life you just took? Huh?...*scowls as Higari giggles* Oh so you think this is FUNNY?-

Higari: *grabs his nose* BA!

Kaigo:............*sighs* You’re damn lucky you’re cute, you know that?...Uh, how about we DON’T tell your Ma about this, okay?

Ever since then his dad had to watch him like a hawk, one minute Higari was sitting playing with his toys, the next he was trying to dig his way to the other side of the world. When he was old enough his dad did give him some lessons in how to dig safely so the ground wouldn’t become unstable. I imagine Higari may have madea  few tunnels as a kid that where too close to the surface, and his very unsuspecting mum and dad would just sink into the ground collapsing an old tunnel Higari made. And Higari having pictures?? YES. His mum probably has a whole stash of pictures of Higari as a baby playing outside with his dad and her. Including the embarrassing photos, the kind of photos Higari would never want Ecto to see, but his mum showed him anyway. 

Now I wanna write angst with Powerloader and his dad aaaaa-

[fallout-drabbles-n-stuff]

(Romanced) Companions baby-sitting Shaun for the first time.

(They didn't really have to be romanced for this one but it just seemed like a nice sentiment.)

Cait:

She really doesn’t mean anything by it, but the first time you leave her and Shaun alone she is fantastically scared. Be it because shaun is a synth or just because the weight of the responsibility suddenly sits on her shoulders. She quickly realizes that this alone time with Shaun is very valuable though. A piece of her even becomes strangely sympathetic, realizing the kid probably just wanted to have a complete family with his mommy/daddy and her. So before she even knows what’s going on, she finds herself playing in the makeshift backyard outside your house with Shaun and dog meat, finding true happiness.

Curie:

Curie is automatically elated at even the thought getting to spend some quality time with the boy. Though she was careful, she considered Shaun her son from the moment you introduced him to her. Let’s be honest, Curie is a natural at taking care of the boy. Probably the best to be honest. They have a really good time, playing an old blast radius board game you found and so on. Shaun can’t help but behave with her too, even going to bed with no fuss the second the little synth mentions bed time. Overall him and Curie go together really well, alleviating any past apprehensions you may have had about leaving him with the scientist.

Danse:

The notion of being left alone with his adopted son scared Danse more than anything. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to bond with the child, after all Danse was rather quick to consider him his own, his anxiety was more or less caused by the fear of screwing up something. Yeah, he has interacted with the squires on the airship before but none of them were his. What if he runs out of things to talk about? What if Shaun starts misbehaving? God forbid Shaun somehow got hurt, what the hell was he doing to do? Sure he knew how to dress wounds and such but admitting something like that happened under his watch? The thought made the Paladin want to tear his hair out. Much to Danse’s relief, his fears were for naught. Shaun really likes danse, asking his new father all about his power armor and his laser rifles and..well, anything the young boy could think of. This made Danse very happy. By the time you got home, Danse was in the garage with the young boy- teaching him all about how to repair lord knows what and getting Shaun to hand him tools as he demonstrated.

Deacon:

Surprising both himself and you, him and Shaun quickly become besties in their bonding time. Being left alone with the spy was actually really good for Shaun, and Deacon. Though he wouldn’t admit it, Deacon was scared to get too attached to your son, scared to accept him as his own but now? He couldn’t imagine it any other way. They played hide and seek, pulled some tasteful pranks on poor unsuspecting settlers and over all just had a really good time.

Gage:

In all honesty, Gage was scared shitless. If not for the strangeness or taking care of a child for the first time in his life, it was also the vulnerability of being left alone for the kid to judge him. Without you there as a buffer...Surely his adoptive son couldn’t think too highly of his “pa” being a raider..could he? The thought of him disapproving of gage made the old raider hurt in a way he both didn’t like nor think he was capable of hurting. So because of this, Gage is pretty grumpy at first, rather to stay at an arms distance. However it only takes an hour or so of shaun’s wide puppy eyes, much like his parent’s, for gage to fall weak. After this, good luck finding either one of them because Gage is totally taking Shaun around the park to ride some of the rides.

Hancock:

In theory, Hancock thought it would be super easy..and well, it kind of was. Though he didn’t have much experience with taking care of young kids, he was still compassionate and at the very least- entertaining. This definitely worked in Hancock’s favor the first time he babysits the newest addition to your little family. Figuring it would be a good pass time, he takes Shaun around his city, making sure to acquaint him with all the “upstanding” citizens so they all know not to fuck with the kid. His kid. Needless to say, everyone quickly loves Shaun.

Macready:

He wasn’t that perturbed, more or less just wondering how in the world he was going to manage to watch both Shaun and Duncan without them teaming up and pulling one over on him. His fears were perfectly justified though, seeing as when you came home you found both the little boys laughing as Macready frantically tried to clean up an absolutely wrecked house.

Yes, they both got into some serious trouble. Macready never wants to be left without backup ever again.

Maxson:

(Just assuming he doesn't know he's a synth/ maybe a slight canon divergence? Like maybe Shaun actually ends up being Shaun and father is someone else?? I don't know..because it wouldn't go over smoothly if shaun was a synth no matter what.)

He's pretty good at this whole babysitting thing, remembering the many people who took care of him and what their were methods with crystal clarity. Granted, his previous caretakers were all soldiers. However, even though Shaun isn't technically his blood and doesn't have his last name, he is your son and that was good enough for Arthur. Plus, he figured it would be good practice for whenever you and him managed to finally make heirs. Seeing as Maxson wanted to do his best to acclimate Shaun into the brotherhood way of life, he'd take the precious bonding opportunity quite enthusiastically. It went beyond him just wanting Shaun to know his organization better though, truthfully, Arthur wanted to impress the young boy. Even more than that, Maxson wanted to let Shaun know that no matter what, he'd be there to protect him. That all being said, Arthur is still pretty awkward, not wanting to mess it up. He really tries though, taking Shaun around the airship, familiarizing the boy with his new family, answering any questions he may have about basically anything,

What he doesn't know is Shaun is impressed with him already, not because he is the leader of some crazy metal loving army.

As soon as Shaun makes that clear though, you can expect to come home to a teary eyed Maxson hugging a confused, but happy Shaun. Later on when the child's asleep, Arthur even slips up and begins referring to him as his own son...which makes you very happy.

Nick:

Deciding it would be for the best, he takes the synth boy to the agency- getting a little help from ellie. However he takes his duty very seriously, keeping his synthetic eyes practically glued on his boy. That being said, Shaun behaves especially well for the old detective, spinning around in one of the office chairs as his adoptive dad sorts out some old case files.

Old longfellow:

He was a little apprehensive at first but he knew that the time was bound to come. Luckily he already has an entire day planned out for him and his “son”. Much to shaun’s delight, Longfellow brings him out to the water and teaches him how to fish. The two of them don’t catch anything for a while, more so just enjoying each other’s company and chatting away. However Longfellow couldn’t help but be proud when Shaun caught some fish, far too small to eat but that didn’t matter. He was still so proud. To celebrate, he even gave the young boy a beer with a wink and a “don’t tell yer mom/dad.”.

Piper:

Much like Mac, Piper had both the disadvantage and advantage of also having another child under your roof. Though Nat wasn’t her child, she always cared for her little sister like she was so Piper didn’t exactly fear having to care for a kid. Unlike Mac, the additional kid in her care wasn’t mischievous. So, as much as she hate to admit it, Nat was the one that kept Shaun in line, all while Piper tentatively kept a watchful gaze on the two.

Preston:

Thanks to occasionally taking care of exhausted settler’s children, Preston wasn’t entirely in the dark when it came to taking care of Shaun. Sure, the first time being left alone with his “son” still made him a little nervous..but he’d do anything to make the boy happy. With that being said, providing it’s a chilly night, he’ll build a fire and tell Shaun all kinds of lovely campfire stories and roast some s’mores.

X6-88:

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that him and Shaun get along swimmingly, having known each other before you even found your son. So, X6 was a natural at caring for Shaun, with or without you present. Plus Shaun knows better than to act up with him, as well as they get along, x6 has none of it. Nonetheless, they are so totally partners in crime. Much to your surprise, you’ll likely come home to find the evidence of what appears to be a massive prank war. Shaun passed out on the couch with shaving cream on his face and X6 with mysteriously fuchsia hair.

[lonestarbabe]

Learning to Speak

Chapter 1: Channeling the Noise

[A03]

Moments of TK in therapy.

“Has anything important happened since your last session?” Melody Janson asks, a warm expression on her face. T.K.’s seen her for a couple of sessions already, but he’s still getting used to her therapy style. He’s been to a lot of therapists in his time, some of them good and some of them bad. He isn’t quite sure where Melody falls yet, but he likes her as a person, which is enough that he’s going to take the sessions semi-seriously, even if his willingness to share about himself is still limited. There are still some things that he can’t say and he’s not sure he will ever be able to say. He’s made peace with the antsiness of the things that go unsaid. The thwarted words bounce on his tongue like it’s a diving board and they are waiting to plunge into the icy waters of hard conversations.

“Depends what you consider important.” He pinches his lips together. He continues when she doesn’t say anything. “I don’t know. It’s been the same mostly. For all the action I experience, my life is boring most of the time.” Boredom is one of the things that makes him want to use, so he craves the moments of action, but there are never enough of them. He could tell her about calls he’d had on the job— like the baby in the tree—but he hadn’t done a whole lot in that rescue. The brunt of the work had been all his dad, ever the hero, and T.K. doesn’t feel like bringing up his dad because Melody always hones in on that topic. As nice as she is, she’s a vulture when it comes to certain discussions, which is probably what he needs, but he doesn’t want to need it. Some days he loves therapy, and other days, he hates it.

“Have you still been feeling restless?”

“Since birth,” he jokes. “I don’t know how to keep myself busy. Time is slower when I am sober. I only used oxy that once, but it feels like it’s sent me a million steps back.” One slip up, and he feels like he’s ruined everything. It feels like things will never be back to normal, and how can they be? He’s moved across the country to a hot and stuffy place that lacks the cool veneer of New York City. He misses Manhattan nights already. He doesn’t need stars. The New York skyline has always been more dazzling, and since he was a kid, it told T.K. stories that the constellations could never tell. New York may not be a natural wonder, but it’s a wonder nevertheless.

“Progress can be slow and isn’t always linear,” Melody reminds him. “How have the urges to use substances been?”

T.K. shifts in his seat. The urges are there, and that’s enough to send a wave of self-hate through T.K. It bothers him that he’ll never rid himself of those urges. He can lessen them, but he can’t stop them from existing. “Okay, I guess. They’ve been more manageable lately. I’m still fucked up, but I always will be.” Melody raises her eyebrows at “fucked-up,” and he knows it’s not because she’s concerned about his foul-mouth. He can tell she’s noting that to talk about later.

“What techniques have you been using to keep them manageable?” He has a whole toolbox of techniques that he’s collected from various stints in therapy, but some of them have become rusty, and it’s taking time to make them usable after neglecting them.

“I’ve been able to notice when I feel on edge more.” It’s like looking at the radar to predict a storm. He was never able to do that before. He’d always ignored that feeling of creeping closer to a cliff until he was staring down at the abyss below and gravity pulled him over.

“Sounds like you’re learning a lot about yourself. When I saw you in our last session, you were very on edge. You said you were feeling antsy about being in Austin. How are you feeling this week about being here?”

“It’s never going to be home, but I’m getting used to this place. I’m not getting lost as much, and it has a weird charm.”

Melody understands what he means immediately. “Yeah, it sure does. Have you been keeping up with thought-behavior logging?” The thought-behavior log is a worksheet that she gives him each week to explore how certain situations can lead to beliefs that produce unhealthy behaviors and negative feelings.

T.K. nods. “I’ve been filling it out, but I don’t know that it’s doing anything.”

“You did say that you were more aware of when you felt anxious. That’s progress. Did you make any helpful observations when you were logging your information? Even something small can be important.”

“That distractions are good for me.” Getting his mind off what was wrong with him is the best way to pretend that he was okay. He isn’t sure if that was an unhealthy way of coping or not. Knowing himself, it probably leaned towards unhealthy.

“What kind of distractions do you mean?”

“Anything I can find.” Anything but that one thing that he shouldn’t do, shouldn’t even think about.

“What’s the first one that comes to mind?” She’s persistent enough that she can get past the resistance that T.K. can’t help but have when some tries to get to know him.

“I met a guy— Carlos— and he’s been keeping me busy enough that I can keep my impulses in check.” He adds, “It doesn’t hurt that he’s hot. Between seeing Carlos and my job, I don’t have too much time to think. I can’t be tempted if I don’t have tempting thoughts. It’s a win-win.” T.K. is enjoying the no-strings relationship he has with Carlos. He’s glad they haven’t decided to complicate things by defining a relationship. He’s not ready for a real relationship. He gets attached too fast and that only leads to heartbreak.

“So these distractions are the main tool you use to stay sober?”

“I guess. It’s been working so far. I haven’t relapsed.” He’s thought about substances— a lot— but he hasn’t acted on those thoughts. He doesn’t let himself be proud of that fact because staying sober never should have been a challenge to begin with.

“I think that would be a good topic to add to our session today. But before we dig too deep into that, I want to know what else you’d like to cover today. Is there anything you think we need to talk about beyond this new relationship and the other distractions you may have going on?”

“It’s not a relationship,” T.K. tells her. “It’s… complicated.” T.K. chuckles to himself. “I’m sure you’ll want to unpack that.” So much to unpack, so little time.

“You’re as much responsible for our agenda as I am.” He doesn’t want that responsibility. He wants someone to shove him through this process as quickly as possible so that he doesn’t have to think about it anymore, but Melody has explained how important it is that he takes an active role in the process, so he’s trying to meet her halfway.

“I guess we can add it. It can’t hurt.”

“Okay, T.K.,” she says, “I think we should also touch on how you’ve been feeling about your sobriety.”

“We can talk about it, but I’m feeling fine.” He’s not happy, but it’s not like he’s ready to swallow a handful of pills— again. He wants to be sober. He wants to be alive. I’m good.

“You seem apathetic about most of these topics,” Melody observes. “Why do you think that is?”

“It’s just been that kind of week.” Work’s been hard. He isn’t sure what to think of his new coworkers yet. He likes them, but he doesn’t know them yet. It doesn’t take long for firefighters to bond with how much time they spend together, but T.K. is overwhelmed with having to basically reset his whole life and try to make sense of his new situation.

“What kind of week is that?” Therapy is a lot of questions, so many questions.

“The kind where I don’t want to think.” He wants to clear his mind and forget he exists because that’s easier than having to sort through the influx of feelings that he has. It’s the perfect kind of mood for substances to creep in and screw everything up.

“I see. Is something weighing on your mind?”

T.K. shrugs both shoulders. “Just the usual stuff. Work, getting used to this crazy place. I haven’t slept well.”

“Have you been having trouble adjusting?”

“It’s hard not knowing anyone. I’m good with people, so I can fit in, but it’s still hard. ” He puts on a big smile and acts like his normal goofy self and that seems to endear other people enough, but it doesn’t bring them too close. He’s not sure if he’s ready to get too close.

“That’s something we can explore some more because you’ve expressed in past sessions feeling like you don’t have a good support system here in Austin.”

“Another item on the agenda?”

She nods, a pleasant look on her face. “Does what we have sound like enough?”

“We’ve got a lot on the agenda,” T.K. says with a sigh. “So, yeah, sounds like enough.”

“You always rise to the challenge. Remember that we can always be flexible to suit your needs, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Let me ask, what is the most important of these items for you, T.K.?”

“Let’s start with the distraction thing,” T.K. tells her because he’s not sure where he wants to begin and the first thing on the list seems easy enough. Might as well just knock them out in order. “Or the guy thing. They’re pretty much the same topic.” His heart gets fluttery when he thinks of Carlos, and he’s not sure if it’s in a bad way or a good one.

“Okay, the male distraction. Do you want to tell me about him?”

“His name is Carlos. I met him on a call.”

“What do you like about him?” He’s nice to me. He has the best smile. He was the first person who made me forget that I was an outsider in Austin.

“I think the sex might be better than drugs.” He says the sex part before thinking about it, and then he feels weird because he’s talking about his sex life with a woman he barely knows. He’s always been pretty open about that kind of thing, a trait he inherited from his parents, but it’s different in a clinical setting. The faded, geometrically-patterned chair feels stiff under him like it’s judging him.

Melody’s face doesn’t change from neutral. “What about sex is satisfying to you?” Everything. T.K. doesn’t really believe that sex is better than drugs, but it is close and it helps him to pretend that it is better than drugs. Sex is a release. It allows him to escape his head for a while and give in to his carnal urges. “Like I said, it’s a distraction.”

“What does it distract you from?” Everything.

“If I think about it too hard, that defeats the purpose of distraction, doesn’t it?” He doesn’t like to use the words addict or drugs or substances, which probably doesn’t bode well when drugs are what got him in therapy in the first place, but at the end of the day, the drugs are a symptom of the feelings he has that he can’t deal with. Those stiff words hang in the air and then he keeps thinking about them, and if he thinks about them, he figures that he’ll give in eventually, and he doesn’t want to give in. He doesn’t want to disappoint his dad, lose his job, or hurt anyone else. He doesn’t care much about himself, but the way his addiction impacts other people holds him back when he’s on the edge between resiting and relapsing. Sometimes, it is enough. Other times, it is not.

“What do you think will happen if you talk about it?”

“I’ll lose control?” Control— that sounds deep and pathological, and therapists like that, right? He’d had a therapist who had been obsessed with the control thing, so he ran with the idea, thinking it was something he could hurry Melody through. His real answer is somewhere behind a wall in his mind that he doesn’t want to peak through let alone tear down. He keeps a lot behind that wall, just beyond the point of easy access. It’s a cluttered wasteland, but with the wall, he doesn’t have to look at the mess of life. He can pretend it’s not there, and if he can’t easily access it, he won’t think about it.

“Lose control of what?” she pushes him.

“Just in general,” T.K. tries.

“What is it about control that alarms you so much?” she asks again, and the question is oddly unsettling as flashes of him being high or drunk rush through his mind. He brought this up, and now he’s regretting the can of worms he’s popped open thinking it was just a normal can. He suddenly and ironically feels like he’s lost control of this line of thought. He should have thought this through, but he didn’t. That’s what he’s always done; he didn’t look before he leaped. He’s not afraid of losing control, he realizes with dread. He’s afraid of taking control. Maybe Dr. Bundting wasn’t such a quack about this control thing after all.  There’s something alluring about spiraling. He disarms himself so that no one can do it for him. He hands his life over to substances so that he doesn’t have to take the reigns and navigate through it himself.

T.K. crosses his arms over his chest. “No one likes to lose control.” Except for freaks like me. T.K. feels his chest clench, and his heart is pounding.

“The question seems to bother you. Was there something I said that made you uncomfortable?”

“It’s complicated.” Complicated is the way T.K.’s life works. Nothing is clear-cut, and it makes deciding what the fuck he is doing with his life eight million times harder.

“Can you explain what makes it so complicated?”

“It’s weird,” he tries, but Melody has never been stopped by that excuse before, so he’s not sure why he thinks it will work now.

“Austin is weird,” Melody says with a reassuring smile. “We like weird here.”

T.K. takes a breath. “I used to lose control all the time, and it didn’t bother me. I liked being out of my mind and not caring about anything.”

“And how does it make you feel about yourself when you’re in that state of mind?”

He swallows. “Like I’m defective.” He adds a laugh so it doesn’t sound so pathetic. “But also like I’m alive. It takes away the worries for a while.” He shakes his head. “But, mostly defective.”

“You remember how we talked about core beliefs?”

T.K. rolls his eyes. “I’ve been hearing that word for years.”

“Then you probably know where I am going with this. What makes you think you’re defective?”

“I can’t do things that normal people can.”

“What can’t you do?”

“Handle things in a normal way. When anything goes wrong, I spin out.”

“You’ve been managing your cravings. That doesn’t seem like spinning out to me.”

“It’s more of a feeling, and then the feeling is what makes me want to do things that I shouldn’t.”

“Can you define what ‘spinning out’ means to you?” Wanting to give in and wreck my life just to escape my head for a while.

“I go crazy. My mind starts to race, and before I can think better of it, I’m doing something dumb.” He hates to think about all the stupid things he’s done just because he doesn’t have the mental clarity to resist those impulsive urges.

“What kind of ‘dumb’ actions are you referring to?”

“Relapsing, fighting, fucking up opportunities— those kinds of things.”

“You called those actions dumb, so can you tell me what do those actions have to do with your intelligence?” Because I am an idiot who can’t control himself.

“Because I should know better than to do them. That’s pretty dumb, right?”

“You seem to use that kind of language a lot about yourself. Do you think addiction or mental illness makes someone dumb?”

“I know it makes me dumb.” My mistakes could have all been avoided if I only used my head.

“Okay, so your addiction makes you feel dumb, but if you saw my other patients behaving because of their illnesses, would you call them dumb? Or did your dad’s PTSD, for example, make him dumb?”

“He went through a lot, so it makes sense that he would react in the way he did. He wasn’t acting dumb, not really. He was just trying to survive after a shitty situation put his life in danger.”

“And what’s different about you? When you talk about your dad, you blame the circumstances, but when you talk about yourself, you attack your core characteristics.”

“I made choices. That’s what created his problems. My dad was powerless. Something happened to him while I happened to me.”

“I’m all for taking accountability, but don’t you think you’re showing yourself none of the mercy that you offer your dad or other important people in your life?”

“He deserves that.” I don’t.

“What has he done to deserve that? You’ve talked about how his actions hurt you, so why do you forgive him for those actions that hurt you but not your own actions that hurt you?”

“There’s nothing to forgive. He never meant to hurt you.”

“Did you mean to hurt yourself?” she prods.

“I tried to…” T.K. trailed off. “I nearly died.”

“If you got to choose how you feel, would you choose to hurt?”

“No. Who would?”

“So, that brings me back to the question, why can you forgive others more easily than yourself.”

“It hurts me more not to forgive him.”

“Does it not hurt you more to not forgive yourself?”

“Because maybe he’s not perfect, but I’ve burdened him with my issues, so I owe him forgiveness. It’s not his fault that I’m overly sensitive or whatever. He made mistakes.” But I am the mistake. “But he’s a hero, and the hero’s kid always has to make room for the heroics, but I was always too selfish to see that..” T.K. doesn’t mention how he still has a kernel of resentment for Owen, one that he has never been able to forgive away.

“What about you? You save people every day. Aren’t you a hero? If being a hero is why you are merciful with your dad, shouldn’t you extend that to yourself?”

“Yeah, but it’s my job to save people, and I haven’t sacrificed anything to help others. My dad lost his whole crew on 9/11. That’s a sacrifice.” What about my loss? the childish part of him wants to say, but he’s learned that that part of him is the one that drives him further from his dad. When he lets his inner child say his piece, the tension between T.K. and Owen smothers any goodwill they’ve forced into existence through years of close proximity and the common goal of saving other people’s lives.

“It takes sacrifice to be a hero?”

“Yeah, if you don’t lose anything from doing something, it’s not a big deal.”

“You sacrificed many moments with your Dad. You sacrifice time and energy at your job. Wouldn’t that make you a hero too under your definition?”

“It’s not like I had a choice.”

“Why not?”

“Firefighting was the only thing I’ve ever considered.”

“Okay, and why’s that?”

“Because I knew it was what I wanted.” He didn’t need to think. While other kids his age had been debating what they wanted to be, he never had to make that grueling decision. He just knew. My fate had been decided for me already, and it was nice not to have to think about what kind of future I wanted. It had always been written for me.

“What was it that you wanted?” A dad.

“To be like my dad.”

“And are you like him?”

“Not in any of the good ways.” T.K.’s sure that he and Owen are both headstrong. They’re both passionate and like grand gestures. T.K. knows that he’s a lot like his Dad but not in the ways that would make him proud.

“In what ways aren’t you like him?”

“Well, for one, I’m constantly making bad decisions. I nearly died before I came here, remember? I was so dumb. What was I trying to accomplish by nearly killing myself?”

“You’re back to using the word ‘dumb.’ Do you know the early meaning of dumb?”

“Probably not,” T.K. admits.

“In Old English, it referred to someone who was mute.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And people conflated the inability to speak with the lack of intelligence. Dumb was a word used to degrade and mock those who couldn’t speak because other people didn’t understand muteness”

“What’s that got to do with me?”

“While the behaviors that result because of your mental illness may feel dumb as in stupid, you’re conflating your inability to speak with the lack of intelligence. Mental illness doesn’t rob you of your intelligence; it robs you of your ability to speak and communicate your feelings. Your ‘dumb’ behaviors are attempts at communication, but in these sessions, we figure out how you can break your silence.

“So I’m learning how to talk to people?”

“Not just how to talk to people but also how to talk to yourself. Your self-dialogue fuels your feelings and behaviors, so if we can change that dialogue, we can change your experiences with the world. What I want to accomplish with you goes beyond just talking.  What I’m teaching you is how to communicate healthily, which can come in more forms than just verbal language. There are lots of ways to speak, and what you need to do is find the ones that work for you.” Melody’s words linger with T.K. as he carries on the session, and he wonders if happiness is that easy. Is it nothing more than learning to speak?

[hotpotrandomfics]

Sixth Year AU: Missing Part 3

Summary: The group had been captured and founded by Rakepick and were brought to the lair of the cabal she served. What they find them had shaken them to the depths of their cores as they prayed the can make it out of this alive...

Word Count: 5,431

It was horrible, to say the least, a nightmare you wouldn't wish on anyone if you had any sense of compassion — the smell of iron hanging in the air and gripping the nostrils of the would-be saviors. For Merula, it was as if time was still as she looked on in terror as Jason was hung from chains around his wrist. His chest was exposed with a cut in the shape of an x on his left lower abdominal.  Bloody and bruised as if he was some animal that was a mere object of some sick torture.

"Jason..." Merula dashed over to him and tried to lower him down. "Come on, Aurelius," she muttered between tears, "you can't die on me."

As Merula tried to get Jason down, Bill woke up to see what had become of his friend and instantly went over to help Merula bring him down. "What did they do to you, mate?!" Bill and Merula were only able to lower him but couldn't remove his chains as a key binds them.

Jason groaned and was shivering, showing that he was alive, and it was a good sign, at least. Bill removed his coat and trench coat and covered his friend. Merula ran her hand along his cheek as she was finally reunited with him. Talbot, Ismelda, and Chiara woke up and saw the sight of the proud Slytherin prefect beaten worse than any possible inmate from Azkaban.

"By all that is holy," Talbot knelt next to Bill. "Look what they've done. Are they that desperate to get what they want from the vaults?"

Ismelda placed a hand on Merula shoulder, trying to comfort her friend. Receiving a gaze of appreciation from Merula to which she gave a small nod.

"We got to get him out of her. Judging by the wounds, it will take a miracle." Talbot commented. "They took our bags and our wands."

The door that imprisoned them slowly opened, and behind it was the worst, most hated person in all of the world to the group. Patricia Rakepick, a sinister grin along her face as she and the two men behind her with bloody gloves, Winston and James, Jason's "caretakers."

"Um, guys," Chiara called their attention to her. "We've got company."

"Ah! Good to see you all awake and well. Bill," Rakepick eyed the wizard carefully, "seems you've grown, and I hear you're working as a curse breaker at Gringotts. See you've followed in my steps."

"I am nothing like you, and frankly, I am actually liked by your former employers." Bill stood in front of his friends, reading to be a shield if need be. He couldn't believe the mentor he respected did this to her own pupils. If she tries to hurt them, Bill will do everything to save them.

"Come now, no need for such sharp words Mister Weasely. I am sure you can understand the difficulty I am facing with trying to"

"Difficulty?!" Merula shouted as she stood up, looking from Jason to Rakepick. Her eyes were brimming with resentment as she stopped forward next to Bill's left side. "You nearly left us for dead! Almost killed me! My friends! And worse of all," she looked to the ground clenching her fist, and looked up at Rakepick, "you tortured the man who saved me from you!"

Patricia looked at Merula, rolling her eyes at the girl's tantrum, how she saw potential in recruiting her into the organization she had no clue. Merula reminds her so much of herself, but clearly, she was wrong in that regard. These students were her tools, and she would use tools until they couldn't work anymore. She had no sympathy for them as she never had compassion from anyone, and she would never give it.

"Oh, well, your savor is well quite not in a position to save you. Winston here," Rakeppick gestured to the large man behind her who only grinned. "Now then, if you are wise, you'll come with us without fighting."

"Like hell, we will!" Merula snarled.

"Merula, we aren't in the position to argue," Ismelda interjected as she looked at the older wizards.

"If you don't want to listen by the kindness of word then," Rakepick raised her wand, causing Jason to wake up and wail in pain.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Jason screamed as his muscles twisted, and his body was aching. The pain-causing his wounds to burn with a fury no dragon's fire could match.

"No! Jason!" Merula to his side, taking hold of him. "Jason, I'm here. Love!" "Stop!" Talbott shouted as he ran at Rakepick only to be sent flying by James with a flick of his wand.

"Talbott!" Chiara ran over to him, checking on him.

"Stop! Please!" Bill shouted at Rakepick. "We'll cooperate just stop this madness!"

"Mister Weasely," Rakepick lowered her wand, actively canceling the spell, "you were always the most reasonable. So, you lot follow us."

"Merula?" Jason looked at her with his less swollen eye. "Merula shouldn't be h-here."

"I am here for you dummy," Merula smiled through her tears, "are you okay?"

"You shouldn't be, Woah!" Jason's body flew up and was swung in front of his friends. Chains bounded his wrist and legs by James, who sighed as looked at Rakepick.

"Patricia, we don't have enough for them. Our Lord will not appreciate this waiting." James looked at her, annoyed.

"Very well, come along, and don't do anything stupid," Rakepick said as she turned and began walking.

The group followed behind Rakepick with Jason in front of the other teens. He was barely capable of standing was stumbling through the hall and had to have Talbott and Bill carry him through as they made their way into the main hall of what appeared to be a mansion with a man sitting on a distant throne. Watching them, he leaned his head into his fist. His gaze was colder than any winter storm, as was his hair.

"Welcome," the man said as he gazed at them. "I take it you've been treated well?"

"Treated well?" Merula said as gritted her teeth. "How would we be treated well? Especially with what you've done to Jason!"

"Merula Snyde, is it?" The man stood up and walked towards her with an irritated scowl. "Patricia has informed of your tongue. Let me assure you that I had my associates "take care of" your friend? No, lover?" He pulled his wand out; willow would with the hilt that had a dragon skull carved into it. "But time is running short, as is my patient. So, I will need your assistance."

"Why the hell would I help you? You sick yeti?" Merula growled.

"Oh, I wasn't speaking to you, Miss Snyde." The Lord raised his wand at her and cast the Cruciatus Curse on Merula.

Merula collapsed to the floor, screaming in pain as her muscles twisted in and contorted as she felt her body splitting. As she yelled, Merula remembered the torment of when Rakepick had done the same to her back in the curse vault last year. The pain was all too familiar to her, and the fear the set in was coming full force.

"Stop!" Jason ran towards the cold man ready to tackle the man but was then raised into the air by Rakepick. "Leave her alone! I'll do anything! Just don't hurt her! Please!"

"Is that a fact?" the man lowered his wand, causing Merula to be freed from the curse. He walked to Jason, looking at him, and turned to Rakepick, queueing her to release him.

"Merula!" Jason crawled over to her, holding her in his arms even though embracing her caused his wounds to ache. Stroking her hair out from her face, his heart raced as his mind did. How can they get out of this? Jason doesn't have a wand. Outnumbered. There had to be a way to get himself and his friends out of this, even if he didn't make it.

"Mister Aurelius De Leone," the Lord said, "I need you for the opening of the curse vault. From the tales of your successes of breaking the troubles of Hogwarts tells me you're clearly skilled, and you have your family resources." The Lord walked back to his throne, sitting down, and began to stroke his beard. "I want you to help my associates, and I obtain this power that the curse vaults hold. You see, we have a noble goal that will revolutionize our world. But child, I need you to cooperate as for you and your friend's survival. I won't have you killed as I would have the entirety of Italy storming after us. But your friends? Their families are weak, and my forces are quite capable."

"What is it you want of me?" Jason looked at the man with contempt. "Do you not understand those curses put lives at risk? Children of families can die! No one should have that power!"

"And yet you pursuit?!" the Lord snapped at the young man.

"So my school can be safe! My brother had tried solving the curses to make sure no one had it!" Jason retorted. "Do you have any sense of humanity?"

"What are but a few sacrifices for the greater good?" the Lord asked him with his brow furled. "Is your family free of sins of curses? Your brother has failed, and you will too if you do not obey!"

"Your goal, what is it?" Jason looked at the Lord. "It's to resurrect him, isn't it?"

"They what to resurrect You-Know-Who?!" Bill spoke. "That's beyond mad!"

"Resurrecting?! Is that even possible?!" Talbott's face went pale. "That is truly mad! You are all mad!"

"Shut your mouth!" Rakepick said, annoyed at her former students. "Our goal is even greater than that! Resurrecting the Dark Lord would only strengthen our goal. Your analysis skills still need work, Mister Weasely, and Mister Winger."

"You're not my teacher anymore, Rakepick." Bill scowled with contempt.

"Oh? And after all, I've done for you?" Rakepick laughed.

"You have done nothing but caused pain. You are a disgrace to all wizards and all teachers of Hogwarts!" Bill snarled, which was a shock to everyone in the room. Even the Lord was puzzled and mildly amused by the Weasely expression.

"Enough of the quarrel. We want to take control of the world ourselves. Fools run the Ministry, and it is time that they were dethroned. We wish to restore pure order and wizard supremacy," the Lord snapped his fingers, and the room was filled with a dozen cloaked wizards and witches, including Jason tormenters. "I will ask you now: will you join us?!"

"If I do, will you let my friends go?" Jason looked to Merula, who'd regain consciences. He stood in front of her. "Letting no harm come to them whatsoever?"

"I am many things, child, but I am a man of my word." The Lord faced turned stoic. "If you pledge your allegiance to me. No harm will come to them."

"Jason," Merula grabbed his wrist, "please don't do this! You can't join them!"

"She's right!" Chiara said as she held his other wrist. "We came to take you home. Jason, you're too good for them."

"Meri. Chiari." Jason looked at them with a sad smile.

"We didn't come all this way to end up joining these psychopaths!" Ismelda spoke up. Now that was something she'd thought she'd ever say, but Jason had to leave a positive imprint in her life and didn't see her as an inadequate person.

"Jason, you're my friend and taught me how to trust someone!" Talbott gritted his teeth as he looked around as the members of R snickered under cloaks. "And I am not gonna let you go through with something so stupid!" "Mate, we won't let you do this." Bill stepped toward Jason, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You're a brother to me, and I will do what big brother does and protect you. He won't be joining you, am I clear enough you pathetic Death Eater wannabes!"

The members of R were getting noticeably irritated by the nonsense spouted by these ignorant brats. They sought to make a new order that wizards and witches were supreme above all. Their organization will be the ones to rule. Where Lord Voldemort and Gerald Grindelwald failed is they didn't have enough power. The vaults had to have a higher power that will allow these ambitions to come to fruition, and no bunch of ignorant children will stop them.

"Well," the Lord said as he clapped his hands amused, "a touching sight, but time is short, and the time for negotiation is over. I've grown tired of this as have my associates. Patricia, kill them all. Except for the Aurelius boy. We still need him, and the rest are just a hindrance to us. "

"With pleasure," Rakepick smiled as she raised her wand toward Jason's friends. "Goodbye, my dear students."

"No!" Jason dashed with all the energy he had taking Rakepick to the floor. His wounds were stinging as the impact of his body against the distraught witch who threatens to hurt his friends. How can someone they trusted such a vile woman? No more! No one was going to get hurt because of him!

"Get off me!" Rakepick screamed. "You nincompoop, get him off me!"

One of the members of R was about to step up to help but was sent flying into the wall. Jason had wrestled Rakepick's wand in their struggle and punched her in the eye, dazing her. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't hit a woman. But Patricia Rakepick was the farthest thing Jason would consider a woman. He didn't care at this point, and he'll do anything to save his friends.

"Patricia, you idiot! Get them! Kill them all!" the Lord stood up from his throne.

"Not going to happen!" Jason cast the Meteolojinx, causing a snowstorm to fill the room, causing everyone's loss of sight. Jason called for his friends, and they found him from the call of their way to the entrance of the chamber. Before they left, he placed a charm on the floor so that they would have a bit of time to escape.

A few minutes later, Jason and his friends made their way into a room. It was near the dungeons where they had been held captive earlier. Fortunately, the room they were hiding in had everyone's wands, Jason excluded sadly. The teens tried formulating a plan to escape. Bill decided to see if apparting would work, but it seems that wasn't an option since he could. Most likely, R had used concealment and restrainment charms to prevent those they want from leaving. No one seemed to be coming up with any ideas that were viable to success.

"We can stay like this forever," Ismelda said as she peaked out from the door, watching the hall for any goons.

"I don't know." Bill held his chin in his hand. He could only think of plans where there was a low rate of success. The number of dark wizards was too much for them despite all the training Bill had given them. Why of all the times he needed to be useful did he feel so helpless?

"I could fly ahead of everyone while you follow behind me," Talbott suggested. "I would be able to distinguish the direction from certain smells that could lead us out."

"That's pretty dangerous, Talbott. Is your arm going to be able to handle the strain?" Chiara asked as she stared at Talbott's right arm. Talbott took quite the nasty fall at the inn they were staying at before the members of R abducted them. She wore an expression of fear that showed how hopeless the situation is that they were currently in.

Jason leaned to a wall trying to keep himself up, but the lack of food, water, sleep, and fatigue, in general, was taking a toll on him. He was the only one who hadn't spoken out about a plan. Though he had one, he knew for a fact no one would let him go through with it, especially Merula. "Dammit, we don't have enough time. Sooner or later, they would be found," he thought to himself as gritted his teeth. It would be better if they took the risk that still gave them a surprise advantage.

"Guys," Jason called to them, gathering his resolve to speak finally. "I have a plan, but you won't like it." He looked at Merula with a small smirk than at his friends. "I'll cause a distraction. There would be a full moon tonight of that I know if I didn't lose count of the days. I'll be able to cause enough mayhem to give you a chance to find an exit and then-"

Everyone looked at Jason with such surprise and wondered what could this lead to. Jason hadn't had his Wolfsbane, and it was too late for sure to even try and take it. He would be wild and not in control of himself at the mere glimpse of moonlight. The person who looked the most heartbroken from this idiotic plan was Merula. There was no way in hell that she'd let him go through with this. There had to be another way to save themselves. This was no better choice than Jason's willingness to join R to protect his friends who are trying to rescue him.

"That idea is mad!" Merula shouted, disregarding she could get them caught by doing so. "I won't let you do something so reckless! I won't allow it!" Merula grabbed his arms, looking at him, shaking, scared, and worried. Her boyfriend has been suffering and is covered in more scars. "Why is it always you? You who always do good? You who saved me must always suffer?!"

Tears rolled down from Merula eyes as she continued on speech, pouring out the concern and frustration she had been holding in her heart. She held him tightly despiting, knowing it would hurt him, but Merula was not going to let him go and get injured even more. This was something she would not allow.

"Merula," Jason lifted her chin within his fingers, "I am willing because it's for you. All of you." Jason smiled as he lifted Rakepick's wand and cast Lumos Maximum to blind everyone. At that moment, Jason had left his friends in a daze as he hobbled out of the room they were hiding.

It didn't take long for Jason to find his way out of the dungeon and into a great hall of white marble and obsidian walls. The windows were opened, showing the night sky, and the light of stars danced through the glass. To Jason's left, a large door stood out. It was the exit, and with a sigh of relief, he began to open it, but his friends had shown up behind him, calling for him.

"Jason, wait!" Bill called as the sound of footsteps echoed through the adjacent halls of the manor. Dammit, R's members have found them.

"You can't leave." The Lord walked smirking with his wand in hand. "Give up."

"There's something I learned from my friends. To not given," Jason smiled at Merula then turned toward the Lord, "no matter the cost! BOMBARDA MAXIMUM!" Jason turned to the door and blew it off its hinges, shocking everyone present as a shockwave shook the room.

Merula and her friends coughed as they were almost caught in the explosion of Jason's spell. The dust settled as the moonlight pierced through into the hall. The friends looked as Jason tossed Rakpick's wand to them. With a small smile and what could be made out of the small movements of his lips, "I'm sorry," and followed by a shout of "RUN!"

"NO!" Merula shouted as Ismelda held her friend back, holding her tears as the process of Jason transforming into the savage beast whose only thought was to destroy. Despite how fast her heart was beating, it felt as though if time had frozen still.

Merula tried to struggle out of Ismleda and now Bill's grip as they made their way for the door. Talbott had transformed as to fly ahead of his friends to find a safe route to lead them away from R. Chiara, on the other hand, had transformed herself and was keeping her friends safe from the rear. If Jason were to follow, she was the most likely choice to keep him from hurting anyone or turning them into one of them.

Jason howled as looked at the members of R who were shaking in fear as the beast that stood before them bared its fangs. Screams began as the R associates ran in a panic; this only enticed the werewolf to attack them. One by one, members were being tossed, clawed, and kicked by the canine. Bloodlust was guiding his actions, but it was his will that was preventing him from biting people. This curse may have an advantage at the moment, but it doesn't mean he'd wish to use it on others. What little of his conscious kept him from losing to the beast that controlled his body. The two members of R who tortured Jason were clawed across their torsos. The two men howled in pain as they laid in a pool of their blood as their entrails protruded from their stomachs.

The screams of the unlucky members of R could be heard through the entirety of the manor. The scent of iron hung in the air as the dark wizards panicked to fight back but failed. A beast was unleashed and one that was not shackled by his morality. All of these people had to pay for harming his school, his friends, and his brother. They reaped what they sowed, and the grim reaper has come to collect.

"Patricia! Did you know?!" The Lord's calm demeanor melt as the werewolf was treating his underlings like toys.  "Patricia!"

"No, my Lord!" Rakepick hadn't had a clue. She knew Jason had been under severe bed rest when she first went to teach at Hogwarts. There's no way—"oh shit." She thought to herself as she started connecting the dots. "My Lord we must escape before-!" Rakepick stopped as she realized a shadow shrouded hers. As she turned, she saw the beast towering over her — Sea-green eyes that held the rage of a stormy sea and a fur coat blacker than coal. "M-Mister Aurelius, come now. Surely you remember you're my favorite student, right? You know I wouldn't do something without reason, right?!" The fear and panic in Rakepick face betrayed her as she was supposed to be the voice of a confident curse breaker. The reality is that she was a pathetic coward when faced with higher power would run at a moment's notice.

"Patricia," the Lord's eyes widen, "you've doomed us!" The Lord waved his wand canceling the spell to prevent anyone from apparating out of the manor. "This place is doomed, as are you, Patricia," with that the Lord had apparated away to who knows where.

"No! MY LORD!" Rakepick shouted as Jason picked her up, clawed her face, reading himself to end the woman responsible for his torment.

"Jason!" a panicked Merula called out, getting the werewolf from stopping from killing Rakepick. "It's over! You won! We are free!" she pleaded for him to listen. Despite how much she wanted Rakepick dead, she didn't want Jason to be burden with that sin of having taken a life. She knew he'd never forgive himself if he did commit to the act. "Let's go home!"

Jason looked at Merula, trying hard to will himself to not ended it. Rakepick was not deserving of mercy after all she has done. It would be justice to all if he took her life right now — one less dark wizard in the world to hurt and deceive others ever again. But at what cost, though, become like her and be someone who killed? With what strength he could muster, tossed Rakepick to a wall, and with a loud smack to the ground, Rakepick groaned in pain.

"That's good. Come on," Merula held her arms out open, "let's go home, Jason."

Jason growled but slowly approached her on all fours. Slowly, eyeing her as if she was the prey, he was getting ready to pounce. Merula only could smile at him as kept getting closer and closer until Jason jumped her on top of her pinning her to the groaned. Snarling, teeth bared, clawing her shoulder as he had her pinned. Despite this, Merula could only smile and place a hand on his cheek. She began to sing as she did every time he'd transformed to soothe the beast in him. Slowly, but surely the aggression started to slip from his eyes as the sun began to rise. With it, the savage beast in her lover fell asleep as did he as he collapsed on top of her, reverting to his human form.

Three weeks later...

Jason's eyes slowly opened as he took in his surroundings. The last thing he could remember was the full moon and singing. Singing? Wait, Merula! Immediately he sat but waled from the pain in his sides. Jason lifted his shirt to see his entire torso, wrapped in bandages, and noticing the same on his arms. Was he like a mummy or something? Questions for later. Right now, he had to figure out where the hell he was.

Just as he was going to get out of the bed, the door of the room opened to Merula carrying a tray with a pitcher and two glasses. Merula's gaze met Jason's; for a moment, it seemed the only thing that existed in the world was just the two Slytherins.  She dropped the tray as her hands went to her mouth as tears flowed down her cheeks. Jason's vision grew murky as he too was breaking down at the sight of his girlfriend. Merula ran towards him while he tried to stand out up but fell back by the force of the five-foot-two-inch witch.

"Oh shit!" Jason said as he fell back with her in his arms.

"YOU IDIOT! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" Merula cried into his chest. "I was worried sick about you! WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO STUPID?!" Merula voice was so loud it garnered the attention of the hospital staff.

"It was the only option I could think of and-" Jason stopped as he looked into his girlfriend's eyes. Damn, he couldn't stand the fact he made her cry. The pit in his stomach felt far worse than the torture he'd suffer. Causing his troubled witch to worry was not something to make a habit of and the fact Merula was here made, and they made it through the nightmare.

"How do you think this made me feel, huh?! You damned idiot!" Merula grunted between her fit of tears and shouting. For a whole week! She was worried sick for her idiot and wondering what they had done to him. When she saw the sight of a tortured Jason, all she could feel was like the sad little girl at her family home the night her mom and dad were arrested and shipped off to Azkaban.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her figure, tightly like a python not willing to let go. "I caused you so much trouble." Jason gently rubbed her and felt bandages on her arms. Was it from him? "Did I-?" He gulped as his fears flooded in. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"  Jason's breathing became erratic at the thought he hurt her when he had no control.

"Shhh, hey. It's okay." Merula placed a hand to his cheek, wiping his tears away. "I'm okay, and you're okay. That's all that matters, my love." She leaned in and pressed her forehead to his and began to human softly whenever Jason was sad. Right now, they needed to relish the fact they are alive. "I'm here."

"I'm so sorry, Meri, I—" Jason was stopped by a soft pick on his lips. A sensation that sent sparks through his entire body, giving him the energy that he definitely needed.

The two held a long embrace as the two kissed, conveying the worry, the fear, but most importantly, how much the two missed each other. Merula was not going to let him go, and no matter the forces of Heaven, Hell, Ministry, or Death Eater, will ever take him again from him, she'd make it regret trying.

"Don't ever get captured again, okay?" Merula said as she smiled, wiping her tears.

"I promise," Jason said as he caressed her cheek with his thought. "Meri, d-do you think it's best if I—"

"If you're going to suggest leaving Hogwarts, I will break your nose." Merula's eyes looked at him, thoughtfully. "Hogwart is your home. My home," she sat up and looked him in the eye, "and my home is not a home without you." Merula ran her thumb across Jason's teary-eyed face. Her words, stung harder than any spell she cast on him in the past because her words were full of truth.

Jason tried to find an argument against Merula, but everything he said was shut down by her giving a quick-witted counterpoint followed by a kiss with every word. A deadly combination for a powerful witch, the most powerful witch in all of Hogwarts. After a few minutes of heavy debating, Jason was stumped and couldn't argue with her. Dammit, why did his girlfriend have to be so bright?

A knock at the door called the attention of the two Slytherins who were in a less acceptable position. Ismelda, Talbott, Chiara, and Bill had witnessed about fifty percent of what was going on. Ismelda suggested they wait and watch while Bill wanted to jump in and hug his friends but got a death glare from his friends. They thought the two needed a romantic moment, and then they'd tease them.

"I never realized how close you really are as a couple," Bill rubbed the back of his head, trying not to laugh.

"I...um...we..." Merula and Jason weren't sure how to respond. Typically, they only acted like this alone, but now knowing their friends were watching made them shudder at the thought. Did they hear them? Oh god, these two would need to talk about this later.

"Ismelda didn't want to interrupt you two as she thought you might need some time together," Talbott said. "Bill, though, wanted to join in on the fun."

"Hey!" Bill groaned. "I just wanted to hug my friend, okay?"

"You're too loud, Weasely. This is a hospital," Ismelda said as walked over next to Jason and Merula, who were now in an appropriate sitting manner. "Anyway, Aurelius De Leone. You leaving Hogwarts wouldn't be helpful to anyone. Exactly how many times have you helped everyone in this room?"

"I..."

"A lot." Chiara chimed in and sat next to Jason's side. "We wouldn't be who we are without you. We're a pack."

"Was that a werewolf pun?" Talbott covered his mouth as he started to laugh.

"Do puns do it for you, Winger?" Merula asked with a raised brow.

"Puns? Depending on the taste and situation, yes. But Jason, we need you around mate. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have found my mum's necklace and realized I have a future."

"You helped me with knowing there's another tomorrow, even the grimmest of nights." Chiara gave him a thumbs up.

"And you," Ismelda fiddle with her scarf, "got me to realize I do have value. So yeah, thanks, I guess."

"See?" Merula turned and smiled at her boyfriend. "You're what keeps everyone together, so don't go do anything stupid. Okay?"

Jason smiled and nodded to what his friend said as he began to tear up again — thanking his friends over and over for saving him. Merula held him in her bosom as he cried till his heart was content. They risked their lives to save him and didn't want to let him go. His friends, no, his Hogwarts family is the reason to stay strong and protect Hogwarts. R wasn't defeated, and he'd need to get stronger because they would probably regroup and wait to strike again. When that day comes, he'll be ready, and he won't be alone because he has his friend behind him.

[silyabeeodess]

FusionFall Headcanons: Individual Fusions

 Since the fusions’ personalities tend to mimic that of their OG counterparts and following the idea that they’re also greatly under Fuse’s control, I don’t know if I’ll have enough to talk about if I were to address each of them separately in their own posts.  Therefore, I’m going to bite the bullet and try to go through headcanons on every fusion below the cut.  This list may be subject to change if I decide later to include characters that I haven’t discussed much before due to which versions of the game they were added into. Wish me luck...

Ace: Fusion Ace isn’t overly dangerous, so you’ll find him just doing a step up above the small time crime the real Ace used to do, namely the mass destruction of property.  Since he actually makes a really convincing double of OG Ace though, he blends in well among Earthlings extremely easily so long as no one traces his fusion matter makeup.  He’ll occasionally work with Fusion Father to gather information or run other stealth missions.    

Albedo: Albedo’s fusion seems to share his narcissism.  Ironically though, without even caring about how much he looks like Ben... he looks more like him than the real Albedo does.  He’ll only take advantage of this when given the order to do so.  He and Fusion Ben sometimes work together to trick Fusion Fighters by double-teaming on their opponents in combat situations or convincing soldiers that only one of them was assigned to an operation so the other can work freely in secret.  He thinks his OG counterpart is a coward and has no respect for him or any other being that isn’t one of his allies.   

Ben (and his aliens): Fusion Ben’s “Omnitrix” is honestly more for looks than anything, but that doesn’t mean that every single one of his alien transformations pack any less of a punch.  He can often overwhelm his opponents by rapidly shapeshifting, and unfortunately looks close enough like the real Ben to trick Fusion Fighters into doing his bidding or fighting amongst themselves. Unlike OG Ben though, he shows little interest in being an actual leader, instead doing what he can to raise himself up and pinning any faults of his on those under his command. Alien versions split from this fusion share a similar mindset, but are often a lot weaker than Fusion Ben himself.       

Billy: OG Billy might not be the brightest, but his fusion is downright savage. Unusually keeping crouched low to the ground, he tends to move on all fours in a simian fashion.  He seems closer to the typical fusion monster than actual fusion, with just enough sentience to speak--occasionally--and lead a small pack of monsters at a time. Whether he’s naturally like this or it’s because Fuse is exuding too much of his own will over the fusion is unknown.  Nevertheless, that savagery makes his a fierce threat in combat.   He also seems to be attached to Dizzy World, likely due to a positive memory tied to the location passed onto him from the real Billy.

Bloo: Fusion Bloo is somehow even more selfish than the real Bloo can act... Outside of his fear and loyalty to Fuse, once his work is done, he does whatever he pleases that he knows he won’t get into trouble for.  Strangely enough, he seems to be one of the few fusions who takes an interest in things like eating despite the fact that he has no need to, as he took OG Bloo’s juicebox in “Leaderbored.”  His imaginary energy, meanwhile, gives him a jealous streak against OG Bloo: He wants the attention and companionship the other has, even if he doesn’t really understand the latter or why he wants either.  Those feelings have boiled down to him wanting to destroy the real Bloo, but a reluctance to honestly fight those Earthlings he sees as “friends.”         

Blossom: Unlike the real Blossom and Princess, their fusions actually get along because they’re both selfish and manipulative.  The one point where they butt heads is that, because of these same reasons, they rival each other for Fuse’s praise.  As of now, because of her powers, Fusion Blossom’s taken the lead.  She’s far more cruel than her counterpart, not hesitating to use violence to assert her position as leader of the fusion PPG. 

Bubbles: If the real Bubbles is sugar, Fusion Bubbles is poison.  She’s the kind of being who would only admire a butterfly if she’s tearing its wings off or an ant under a microscope as she attempts to set it on fire. She fights regularly with her fusion sisters for dominance, but gets along well with the fusion Kankers since she can lord over them easily and shares their overly sadistic streak.    

Buttercup: Next to Samurai Jack’s fusion, Fusion Buttercup was one of the first ones made.  While too reactionary and quick-tempered to lead, she’s had a long while to get used to how Fuse leads and what he wants, making her one of his favorites. As such, she’s more hesitant when it comes to fighting than OG Buttercup if she thinks that something might please/benefit Fuse if kept intact/alive instead.  This includes vital enemies wanted for their information or skill like Dexter.      

Cheese: Feelings toward this fusion are... conflicting, to say the least... OG Cheese has caused so much trouble for the Fusion Fighters that a lot of soldiers see a fusion of him as a means of forcing Fuse himself to suffer what they’ve had to deal with--potentially ruining his plans as their Cheese has for them. Sometimes, this happens: Sometimes, it doesn’t.  It’s still better to take him down when possible. Fuse hates this fusion, but has also discovered that it wields a surprising amount of power. In the mission “Assorted Cheeses,” this fusion showed that it could split apart into smaller monsters and reform itself similar to Echo Echo’s fusion.  How it has this ability remains a mystery, but it’s nonetheless useful to the tyrant. 

Coco: Unfortunately for Fuse, making this fusion did next to nothing to help him learn more about or capture the real Coco.  Even worse for him, Fusion Coco has a habit of helping his enemies instead.  Since she does this through her eggs, he can’t tell them apart from the ones OG Coco drops everywhere.  Often, the Fusion Fighters can’t either, so her secret is safe.  Her mind is greatly unstable, her desire to do good coming in bursts caused by whatever may trigger them in the moment.  Usually, this is if she sees someone in need/danger similarly to how the real Coco’s creator had been--which she subconsciously remembers.  The rest of the time, she’s extremely aggressive to her enemies and Fuse makes sure to keep her on a short leash.     

Coop: Fusion Coop was created in hopes of him finding a way to finally take over Megas.  However, while that’s a work in-progress, his inventiveness has equally been proven useful to Fuse’s forces.  He’s a bit of a sloth if he’s not interested in the assignment, but a good threat will jar him back in line.  He often serves under the other scientist Fusions like Dexter’s, Mandark’s, and Utonium’s rather than work completely independently.  He’s also good at breaking and entering.

Courage: Fusion Courage is probably the most unlike his OG Counterpart; bigger, badder, and always willing to put up a fight.  The main thing they share is their skill with computers.  According to “Critical Mission (Part 2 of 2),” Fuse put him in charge of one of his main communication hubs as a guard for the Fusion Uplink device.  His bite is far worse than his bark, bringing with it an intense fusion matter infection.  

Dee Dee: Fusion Dee Dee doesn’t have much to offer Fuse beyond her original purpose, but that purpose is extremely important to him when it comes to the war effort.  As of now, she’s still the most useful to him in finding a way to best Dexter and Mandark, since they’re responsible for creating nanos and a good chunk of the weaponry used against him.  However, she hasn’t been very successful so far, failing to manipulate Mandark or break into Dexter’s old lab due to the player’s actions. Her greatest strength is her agility, which allows her to slip in and out of trouble when it arrives.   If she ever succeeds in serving her purpose, Fuse will likely get rid of her.  The more aware part of her self is slow to act the more this becomes clear until his will takes over yet again, and she wants to prove that she can be useful to him in other ways.  

Demongo: The power to rob and enslave souls isn’t anything that Fuse would snuff at. With that ability, not only can he copy the strengths of the planet’s strongest fighters through the creation of fusions, he can actually force those fighters to submit to his own will!  This, combined with Fusion Demongo possessing both a knack for strategy and love for destruction, made the being an instant favorite of the intergalactic tyrant’s.  As such, he’s allowed more freewill than most others, assigned fusions to support him, and regularly given tools or victims to keep increasing his power such as the initial theft of the souls OG Demongo had stolen for himself and the quest to claim the ancient beast deep in the Fissure in Townsville Park.  If it weren’t for the Resurrect ‘Ems protecting Fusion Fighters from him as much as their own lives, he’d have an even more insane advantage than usual. Fuse may usually keep him close to his Lair to prepare for his arrival since the demonic creature is such a force to be dealt with, but there’s nothing this fusion would like more than to hunt down every strong foe he can find and prime them for capture.    

Dexter (and Computress): Fusion Dexter is a mad scientist with all the self-control needed to make him one of the most terrifying fusions in Fuse’s army.  He’s just as skilled as Dexter, but with none of the morality to stop him from taking his scientific endeavors to horrifying extremes.  While Fusion Utonium is the one that focuses the most on biotech, that doesn’t stop Fusion Dexter from running experiments of his own on live captives.  Furthermore, he’s ruthless toward any subject that fails to meet his desired results, willing to throw them away at a snap of his fingers whether they’re an enemy or ally.  Just good enough is not good enough for him, and he constantly seeks to improve whatever he makes for his own satisfaction as much as to please Fuse.  He feels he has a kind of secret rivalry with the real Dexter, that helping win the war also will establish himself as more than just a copy of someone else, but rather the improved version.  Like OG Dexter, he made his Computress, but he sees her as a replaceable assistant.  She, meanwhile, is rather emotionless compared to the real Computress since she wasn’t designed to be a free-thinking AI.      

Ed: According to Royal Ed-viser, Fusion Ed is responsible for studying dinosaur DNA to aid in the creation of fusion monsters.  This shows a level of intelligence that the real Ed doesn’t, likely run by OG Ed’s passion.  He’s possibly been forced to pool all of his focus into a sole purpose to give him that intellect and neglected a lot of the freewill other fusions have.  Nevertheless, his intense strength is equally as useful to Fuse for combat.

Edd: Fusion Edd mostly serves under Fusion Dexter or Fusion Mandark, depending on wherever he’s needed at the time.  Sometimes, it’s to assist them in their work; Other times, he serves as an independent saboteur.  Unlike the real Double D, he has no trouble getting his hands dirty, but does share that see-a-need-fill-a-need mindset--just for Fuse’s purposes instead of any good.  As a result, Fuse is often fine leaving him to his own devices when he has no particular orders.  He’s an extremely reliable fusion.

Eddy: Fusion Eddy shares OG Eddy’s arrogance, which often puts him at odds with other fusions until they or Fuse remind him of his place.  He’s extremely conniving, and holds a ruthless command over the fusion monsters under him, but isn’t very strong himself and will turn tail the moment a situation falls out of his favor.  This makes him just useful enough for Fuse to keep him around, but little more.  He’d do almost anything to rise up the ranks and become one of the tyrant’s favorites.    

Eduardo: Out of all the imaginary friend fusions, Eduardo’s is the one that’s been able to stay himself the most without Fuse finding out about how much freer he is from the hivemind than the others. This is because he’s too scared to refuse Fuse’s orders as much as he often wants to. As such, he helps the Fusion Fighters in secret when the urge becomes too great by leaving clues like in the “Fusion by the Sea” mission arc or slipping up on purpose.  He might get punished by Fuse or even destroyed by a Fusion Fighter, but so long as that secret is kept Fuse will keep recreating him due to his raw strength.  He doesn’t know why he cares about Earth so much and tries to talk himself out of it, but he can’t help himself.      

Father: Fusion Father is equally as deceptive and powerful as his counterpart.  His primarily dark form similar to the real Father’s allows him to sneak around on Earth better than most other Fusions--the main difference being that his flames are green instead of red/orange and he doesn’t have as good a control over his skinsuit.  He’s even managed to go so far as to establish himself among Earth’s small time crime rings to gain some monetary value and understand more about how the planet works and what the Fusion Fighters are doing.  This level of stealth and manipulation makes him a scary threat to deal with.    

Flapjack: Being a simple kid with the goal of becoming an adventurer, OG Flapjack didn’t have many great strengths of his own that would be passed onto a fusion of himself.  As such, Fuse never put much thought into Fusion Flapjack.  He’s weak, but harmless to his own goals.  As such, this fusion tends to carry out more menial tasks or is used as a distraction while more powerful fusions aim for their true objectives on missions.  When left to his own devices, Fusion Flapjack is more interested in causing mischief wherever he can with a mean streak that his OG counterpart would be ashamed of.          

Frankie: Similar to Fusion Mac, Fusion Frankie was created as a means of tricking and luring away imaginary friends.  After her defeat in “The Fraudulent Frankie” mission arc though, failing to overrun Foster’s Home and with the imaginary friends now aware and warned about her, she’s been severely demoted.  The only reason Fuse bothered to recreate her was because she can direct the Scribble Spawns and Extremospawns best: Another severe failure would likely end in her permanent destruction if she doesn’t prove her worth.  

Fuzzy Lumpkins: Fusion Fuzzy doesn’t show much sentience beyond his ability to wield a gun, and is often just used as a distraction or to attack civilian areas without restraint.  He’s only marginally brighter than the typical fusion monster, but often much stronger.

Grandpa Max: Fusion Max is surprisingly just as spry and smart as the real one--and unfortunately doesn’t have to worry about any years wearing him down!  This makes him a clever fighter that knows how to take down a soldier with or without a weapon.  Sadly though, he doesn’t share Max’s patience with anyone who stands against him.  

Grim: This fusion’s scythe might not be able to send you to the afterlife, but it can infect you with a strong dose of fusion matter if he lands a successful cut.  Effectively, this poisons the body to wear down an opponent, and can potentially take their life if he’s unable to strike them down first. Possibly due in-part to OG Grim’s long life and wealth of memories, Fusion Grim actually recalls quite a bit of knowledge regarding Earth and its history--which has served Fuse well in the search of useful tools or resources for the war effort. He’s also taken advantage of the suspicion of OG Grim being a traitor by tricking others and acting in a way to cement those worries. 

Gunter: This fusion’s form was... unexpected, in a good way--for Fuse at least.  While never having met Gunter’s past self as Orgalorg, Fuse knows enough about the being to want to untap its power for himself.  Unfortunately for him, Orgalorg’s penguin body on Earth has extended to his fusion, as well as OG Gunter’s memory loss from “The Comet”  making it nearly impossible for his fusion to also regain memories of that time or summon much of that nature. Only Fuse’s own evil allows a small fraction of “Fusion Orgalorg” to come out.  In the very least, Fusion Gunter is steadfastly loyal to both him and Fusion Ice King.  

Gwen: Fusion Gwen is a bit of a late creation, made in response to the activation of totems across the globe.  Even with her defeat, however, she’s still skilled enough to be useful to Fuse as both a fighter and in the search/destruction of magical artifacts.  Since she couldn’t stop the totems from activating, her job is to get now try to get rid of them.  She works under Fusion Hex.  

Hex: As much of what’s unknown about the realms of magic and the Underworlders to most of Earth, Fuse has no idea what they’re capable of or how much of a threat they may pose to him.  His goal is to either take or destroy those forces as a result.  Fusion Hex recalls enough of his OG self’s memories to track down various ancient relics, and he’ll often work with Fusion Grim or Fusion Juniper to achieve their lord’s goals.  He devotes himself to researching spells and at least trying to match his counterpart is magical prowess, since he doesn’t have all of his memories.  If he could, he would kill and steal from the real Hex.   

Him: This fusion’s strengths are as mysterious--if possibly a bit weaker than--his OG counterpart.  While his dark, magical abilities seem limitless, his state as a fusion force them to focus that power moreso on what he’s physically capable of rather than just summon whatever he wants or use mind control/empathic influence like the real Him can.  That doesn’t stop him from playing mind games with his opponents as he beats them to a pulp though.  Based on the mission “Doppleganger Gang,” he’s been ordered to capture heroes for Fuse--likely with the intention of feeding their souls to Fusion Demongo as the latter has already taken so many.   

Hoss Delgado: Fusion Delgado seems to be regulated primarily to being muscle and one of the main defenders of the massive Dark Engine located in Steam Alley.  He talks less than his OG counterpart, but has the same type of cybernetic modifications to his body and knowledge of combat/weaponry.  He can best be described as a fusion matter version of a Terminator. 

Ice King: Fusion Ice King is even more mentally unstable than OG Ice King, with no sign or even hope of him instead mimicking the trapped consciousness of Simon.  While removing his crown seems to dilute some of his power, it doesn’t seem to be the main source of it, but rather a means of keeping strongly connected to Fuse’s hivemind in a kind of dual consciousness. Overall, his only goal is cold, crazed, and poisonous destruction.  However, aspects of OG Ice King’s personality surface best in his relationship to Fusion Gunter and interest in... well, Earth’s females.  It’s not out of any sense of “love/affection,” warped or otherwise, and he doesn’t care about whether they’re a princess or not: It’s just a thing he remembers from the real Ice King.  As such, he’s more likely to capture rather than kill girls until he loses interest because he doesn’t even really  understand why he wanted to capture them in the first place unless Fuse or another fusion gives him a reason.  It’s all about a moment’s satisfaction that quickly burns out to him.      

Juniper Lee: If the real Juniper Lee is a protector of magic/magical beings, her fusion is a destroyer of them: Effectively, an anti-Te-Xuan-Ze.  As such, Fusion Juniper’s job is primarily to destroy all sources of magical power and ruin relations between magic creatures and the rest of Earth’s lifeforms by posing as OG Juniper.  What she doesn’t attempt to destroy, she tries to take for herself to boost her own power. She’ll sometimes work with Fusion Hex. 

Kevin: Just as how fusion matter allowed the real Kevin to be corrupted, it makes fusions of him too unstable to be of any use without turning into a regular monster or opposing force from absorbing combative energies/materials to its makeup.  As a result, you get the monstrosities fashioned similarly to his 11 year-old self when he was still struggling with his powers.  This fusion is a huge brute with an insane temper, but is always two seconds away from destabilizing if tricked into absorbing the wrong things.   

Lee, Marie and May Kanker: Even as fusions these three as inseparable.  Since they’re far weaker apart without any notable powers beyond enhanced strength, Fuse has kept them together during all of their tasks.  The OG Kankers may be bullies, but this trio has a sadistic streak that’s hard to match.  They will always play with and torment their enemies before ending them.     

Mac:  Due to OG Mac’s close ties to imaginary friends, his fusion was made in the hopes of tricking and luring them to capture--particularly Coco.  He’s not the strongest, but can turn wild if sent into a rage similar to how the real Mac gets after eating too much candy. Unfortunately, Fusion Mac was created using one of OG Mac’s backpacks, and after the player takes it in the mission “Pack Attack,” he’s been throwing a kind of permanent tantrum ever since.     

Mandark: Since Fusion Dexter is often leading the tech aspect of Fuse’s army, Fusion Mandark comes second with sabotaging or repurposing the Fusion Fighter’s tech--like rewiring Mandroids to make them work for him instead of the real Mandark.  He’s as intelligent as OG Mandark with less of the ego, particularly because if he showed it, he’d likely be punished for it.  Still, all of that outrage makes him all the more determined when hacking into systems and turning Earth’s machines against itself.  If he could though, he’s usurp Fusion Dexter as their lead scientist, and secretly looks for any flaw that might take the other down a peg.      

Mandy: Fusion Mandy isn’t known for her strength so much as her intellect and ability to manipulate others.  As such, while she’s often working behind the scenes with guards to protect her, she’s still a commanding officer in Fuse’s army with a hunger for power that rivals only her intense dominance of those under her.  Beyond seeing the advantages of having Earth’s living manifestation of Death on their side, she’s jealous of the OG Mandy for her authority of OG Grim--unable to enforce that same authority over Fusion Grim due to their ultimate loyalties to Fuse and separate orders.  As such, it’s her personal goal to get the real Grim under her control before Fuse consumes Earth.  (She has similar feelings regarding Fusion and OG Billy, but not to the same extent since his fusion is less of a challenge.)  She views her almost as a rival to steal everything from.  Also unlike OG Mandy, who is at least willing to show some compassion to those she’s close to, her fusion won’t hesitate to sacrifice her underlings to achieve victory--following Fuse’s mindset that they’re tools who can simply be recreated if desired.       

Mayor: Fusion Mayor is extremely weak, but far more ruthless than the real one.  Since he can’t really fight--and the Fusion PPG answer to Fuse directly instead of him--his primary tasks involve poisoning food supplies and similar objectives.  He’s small enough that he’s easily able to weave around forces when soldiers are distracted, and his fusion pickles look harmless enough at face value that he’s succeeded a good handful of times at infecting a whole cache of supplies.  One on one though, he’s easily beatable and Fuse doesn’t tend to put too much thought into recreating him until he’s fallen out of contact for too long.      

Mojo Jojo: At first he was confused, but there were no complaints from Fusion Mojo when his counterpart stole his fusion bananas and gave them to his minions--only for those minions to ally themselves to the former with several becoming Spawn Simians.  If OG Mojo is going to sabotage himself, then he can have at it! It makes his tasks creating tech for Fuse all the easier by giving him additional forces as backup.  As a result, he’s more concerned about other areas of the Fusion Fighters than his counterpart’s and can’t take them seriously.  He’d call the real Mojo an idiot to his face.         

Mr. Herriman: This fusion is exceptionally weak, but surprisingly diligent to Fuse despite being based on an imaginary friend.  He’s kept in the Darkland for two reasons: To be closely monitored and handle more of the organizational/administrative work behind the scenes.  As a result, he’s often silently hooked up to the hivemind to file away and pass along information while other fusions are distracted with other matters in real-time.  It’s not the most useful skill for them, but does speed things up.    The heavy workload also serves as a distraction in care he does feel a sudden rebellious streak.   

Numbuh One: Fusion Numbuh One is a fierce commanding officer, but worse is that he’s maintained a lot of the real Numbuh One’s memories of his time in the KND.  Beyond the dangerous of him possibly having important knowledge regarding the organization itself, this has allowed him to plot strategies involving emotional manipulation to attack Nigel and other members of the KND, such as kidnapping Robobradley in “Skunk Support.”  He also knows how much guilt Nigel feels over the events of the GKND, and isn’t afraid to use that against him and those he cares about.     

Numbuh Two: Fusion Numbuh Two isn’t one for direct confrontations.  Instead, he prefers attacking others through subtler means like poison in “Eduardo and the Pirates (Part 4 of 4)” or by sending out fusion monsters in his stead.  It might be a problem for Fuse if the fusion wasn’t so good at improving fusion monsters through his technological skills and increasing the defenses of areas he’s already captured by turning them into waiting death traps.  This lack of experience, however, serves to make the fusion both weak and overconfident when trouble does arrive on his doorstep.      

Numbuh Three: Fusion Numbuh Three prefers to capture her victims when she can rather than kill them.  However, this just comes out of a greedy, possessive desire.  If she sees something she likes, she has to have it--and that especially goes for the real Numbuh Three’s things.  If it’s an actual person in question, she’ll view them as a toy.  However, if you play along, you might have an easier time of tricking her and escaping.  Just make sure you succeed...

Numbuh Four: Fusion Numbuh Four isn’t very different from his counterpart, just that he’s serving on the opposite side of the war and can always focus 100% of his energy on his missions.  This basically makes him a fighting machine, who only seems to get stronger the angrier he gets in battle.  He’s often made to fight on the front lines.      

Numbuh Five: Fusion Numbuh Five shares a lot of the real Numbuh Five’s strengths, but is far more arrogant  She mocks her opponents constantly, doing whatever she can to through them off or upset them.  This includes going out of her way to upset OG Numbuh Five by stealing her candy and irradiating it despite it having little importance to the war effort.  She doesn’t seem to be as smart as OG Numbuh Five though, since she tried to make an imaginary friend of her own--likely as a minion--when fusions don’t have imaginary energy and was tricked into believing the player was that friend in “Imaginary Reinforcements (Part 4 of 4).”     

Princess: While not the most powerful, Fusion Princess’ combined tech and rage make her a fierce foe.  However, she often makes sure to let fusion monsters do her dirty work ahead of time or even tries to manipulate Earth’s denizens first with empty promises of gain before trying to get rid of them after their usefulness is up.  She belittles other fusions, starting fights with the more aggressive ones before their seniors threaten them back in line.   

Professor Utonium: To make himself all the more useful to Fuse--and partly in competition with Fusion Dexter--Fusion Utonium experimented on himself to increase his physical strength and give him tentacles shooting from his back as an additional weapon.  While Fusion Dexter focuses primarily on weaponry/cybernetics, Fusion Utonium focuses on biotechnology and mutations.  Rather than simply destroy Earth’s lifeforms, he wants to see how they might be further corrupted to serve Fuse.  He worked with Fusion Mandark to create the Scribble Spawns and works with Fusion Mojo Jojo to investigate the creation of the Spawn Simians.          

Samurai Jack: Noted as one of--if not the--first fusion created, he’s had more than enough time to prove his usefulness to Fuse with great success.  OG Jack is a warrior above all others among Earth’s forces, so his fusion plays a similar role.  Few have been able to face him in combat due to his strengths matching his counterpart’s: If he had all of OG Jack’s memories, without being controlled by Fuse’s hivemind as much as he is, he’d be pretty much unstoppable.  Even still, only those who have some guidance under OG Jack himself can really seem to face him. Similar to Fusion Demongo, Fusion Jack is kept in the Darklands as a means of leading/defending some of Fuse’s most important assignments/strongholds to the war effort.   

Stickybeard: Fitting of a fusion based on a pirate, Fusion Stickybeard’s main objectives involve attacking and pillaging from soldiers.  Most of his targets are those stationed away from the main bases, but he will occasionally steal from more important locations if given the order.  His work has caused a lot of trouble from ruining supply lines to robbing integral information to the war effort.  In the mission “Fusion Pirate’s Pillage,” he even managed to steal items for nano creation before the player stole them back.  

Tetrax: OG Tetrax’s intergalactic mercenary experience made his fusion just as tough to beat.  Not only can he handle fighting against Earth’s forces, but he also can direct some of Fuse’s allies like the Ectonurites.  Never losing his cool, he’s a strategic, ruthless general to the end.     

The Scotsman: Since this fusion’s sword doesn’t have the same magical properties as his OG counterpart, he’s mainly used as a relentless force of muscle--enough so to even gain a reputation among Earth’s soldiers. His Fusion Blade contains stronger concentrations of fusion matter than usual and therefore can infect victims with each cut like Fusion Grim’s scythe and Fusion Jack’s sword can. He often serves under Fusion Demongo, acting as an extension of the latter since he can’t often leave Fuse’s Lair.      

Toiletnator: This fusion is one that Fuse looks at and goes, “Well... you exist.”  He doesn’t have high expectations of Fusion Toiletnator, so he just lets another fusion give him orders for mostly menial tasks when needed.  He’s not as clumsy as his counterpart, so he’s actually quick to get his tasks done.    

Vilgax: While Fusion Vilgax is a powerful force to have on his side, Fuse really just savors having him due to how insulting he knows it is for the real Vilgax.  Fuse never thinks of most other lifeforms as much more than bugs to stomp out before he absorbs their words, but he’s actually had a few run-ins with OG Vilgax during previous conquests to think of him as a very annoying gnat.  Therefore, while he entrusts Fusion Vilgax with serious missions, he’ll also sometimes cause him to suffer in particular when he’s frustrated or if he knows OG Vilgax will see it as a means of showing off his power like a megalomaniac.    

Wilt: Out of all the imaginary friend fusions, Wilt’s is the most difficult to control.  He’s just too much like his counterpart: Overly apologetic with a strong desire to show kindness whenever he goes.  Fuse constantly destroyed and recreated this fusion because he couldn’t follow through with orders--and may have deemed him too much trouble to keep around were it not for his borderline desperate sense of loyalty and the cybernetics that Fusion Mandark would later give him. Beyond an increase of strength, these cybernetics serve a double purpose: They aid in enforcing Fuse’s hivemind for Fusion Wilt in-particular and serve as a means of altering his persona by catering to the role of the evil Lord Snotzax, which OG Wilt took in the episode “Make Believe it or Not.”  Even still, you’ll find that Fusion Wilt’s dark side isn’t so dark.  The mission “Fizzy Rox and Roll” shows him only stealing candy.  The worst he’s seemed to have done was set up Gooby Traps in the “Xtra Large Fusion” mission arc before going into hiding.  As such, he’s pretty low on the totem pole when it comes to leading Fuse’s army. 

[krixel]

Took a break from writing for fandom over the weekend to throw some attention on my original stuff, because sometimes I miss my own characters, and they don’t like to be ignored. Anyway, I wrote this scene and am putting it up solely because I really enjoy it.

I know a lot of writers say they can’t pick a favorite of their characters, but Layaka has been and will always be my favorite. But anyway, I just really loved how this interaction turned out, and am throwing it up if anyone wants to see where my head is when it’s not in Beyblade or TDP. (Hint: it still mostly involves elves.)

Obsidian snuffled at his hair, managing to finish what the wind had started. Layaka lifted his hand and scratched at the horse’s snout, lips twitching when Obsidian snorted with pleasure. “Still here, buddy,” he said with a soft pat to the muscled white neck. “I’m all yours today.”

Obsidian gave another snort and Layaka sighed. “You’re right, of course,” he said. “I’m certain they have noticed my absence by now.”

The sun hung high in the sky, marking the early afternoon, and the council meeting scheduled for that morning was hours past. In the distance, hoof beats told him he’d have company soon.

Woken by nightmares after too short a time asleep, the high walls of the Keep pressed in around him. Unable to stand another moment locked inside, Layaka had fled to the stables. Obsidian met him with eagerness, and with barely a word to the gate guards, Layaka urged the horse beyond the walls. Demons nipped at his heels, but the crisp wind on his face and the open air chased them back.

He’d intended a short ride around the perimeter, thirty minutes of peace to calm his thoughts before returning to face another day of madness and paperwork. Along the East side of the Keep a familiar path called to him, and upon cresting the hill and seeing the ramshackle remains of his old hideout, all thoughts of returning fled.

He’d spent the remaining dark gathering wood and bark, stripping fallen branches with his scimitar as he piled the collection near the base of the tree. By late-morning, with the sun warm on his bare back and sweat dripping down his face, he’d managed to replace the floor of the old tree house. Repairing the walls and roof would take more tools and supplies than he had, but he’d stripped them both clean and sat down on the edge of his perch.

Obsidian had paced below, snuffling and stamping until Layaka dropped back to the ground to join the horse. Again, he’d intended to return, muscles pleasantly sore and mind blank from the task. Instead, he’d sat down on the grass, lying back with his arms crossed behind his head and watched the clouds. Simple. Peaceful. All the things his life wasn’t anymore - would likely never be again.

The rider emerged from the tree line behind him, and Layaka sighed and closed his eyes. His chest tightened at the thought of confronting Ayden - again. The initial joy of seeing each other had dwindled to a frigid sort of duty that Layaka hated, but seemed to make worse with every interaction. “Ayden said I might find you up here,” called a voice, all honey and smoked liquor, and definitely not belonging to his best friend.

Layaka smiled, eyes still closed. “He didn’t want to come himself?”

“Nope,” Mishu said, sitting down in the grass beside him. “And I can’t say I blame him. You have been awful. He deserves a day off from King-sitting. At least when it was Leymin, he just sulked in his office.”

Anyone else saying that to him would have sparked his temper, but for her, he just shrugged. “Fair enough,” he said. “So, did you volunteer or draw the short straw?”

“Oh, I volunteered,” she said, that drawling amusement rolling down his spine and tugging at some forgotten part of him. “No one else wants to risk his majesty’s frequent temper tantrums, and the only other two capable of enduring them are still too weak to make the trip.”

The grass rustled next to him and Layaka finally opened his eyes and turned his head. Mishu stretched out in the grass next to him, her pale skin a striking contrast to the tumbling waves of black hair. Her lips were bare of her usual burgundy stain, and as he looked closer, realized she wore no color at all on her face. A soft black tunic, simple leggings, and worn boots finished her outfit, and Layaka struggled to remember the last time he’d seen her so casual. “How long do I have left before you drag me back?”

Mishu shrugged, green eyes turned towards the sky, though the little twist of her mouth told Layaka she was well aware of his gaze. “You are the King,” she said. “Technically, you answer to no one.”

Layaka laughed at that and rolled his own head back towards the expanse of blue above him. “Oh, we both know that isn’t true,” he said. “If anything, it means I answer to everyone.” And then, in a softer voice, “and I have always answered to you.”

The small twist to her mouth bloomed into a real smile at those words, and before he could process her moving, Mishu straddled his lap. She braced herself above him on her elbows, and her wild curls fell like a curtain around them. “You know, right here, like this - you almost seem real.”

Layaka frowned. “I am real.”

A flicker of sadness crossed her face before she schooled it away with a shake of her head. “No, you are a facade of who you think you should be, hiding a broken monstrous ghost.” She traced one of her nails along his cheek, as if tracing an invisible tear. “We all see it, but you have scared most of the others too much that they pretend.”

A spark of anger lit in his chest, but exhaustion and the awareness of truth snuffed it out before it could spread. “I am everything I never wanted to be,” he said. “My father would be so proud.”

Mishu sighed, and lowered herself until her forehead rested against his own. “I know you think you need to fix everything,” she said. “Be the hero our people expect. But you cannot do any of that if you do not fix yourself first.”

“I do not think there is a fix for this kind of broken,” Layaka said. “I don’t even know who I used to be, anymore.”

“Then it is a good thing you are surrounded by people who remember. You were good.” Mishu leaned down and kissed the tip of his nose, laughing as it crinkled. “So good, it was beyond annoying. You loved with your whole heart, and never seemed to run out of room in it. You knew what you believed in, and you fought for it. You were fair, and kind, and generous. You were also immature, impetuous, and your passion led you to fight the good fight as often as it led you to trouble. You were naive, but only because you wanted to believe in goodness - in the world, in people. You knew mercy should always win over vengeance, and you never intended to cause harm.”

“He sounds like a storybook hero.”

“He was an arrogant ass,” Mishu corrected. “But everyone loved him. I loved him.”

“And now?” His heart beat a rapid warning in his chest, terror gripping him for the answer.

She smiled. “Now, I cannot speak for everyone,” she said. “But I love you no less for what you have endured. I love all of your broken pieces and sharp edges, but love and tolerance are not the same.”

[lanwinograd-blog]

Topic:Men's RIghts Movement

During the very late hours of November 8, 2016 and early morning November 9, 2016, I sat in shock along with the rest of the country. The most qualified person to ever run for President had been defeated by a bumbling, sexist, clown. How did this happen? What actually happened? I spent a lot of time dissecting the election, and of course I ended up looking at whether or not gender played a role. Four years later Biden would pretty easily defeat the clown. The 2016 election was so close I wondered “if Hillary were a man, would she have won? How many people voted against her just because she was female?” While I watched the Trump supporters (of the asshole variety) gloat on Facebook, I would occasionally see people post “A win for men! A woman can’t be President. The Men’s Rights Movement Survives!” It goes without saying that anyone who said that repulses me…but “men’s right’s movement?” WTF is that? It sounded like a White Power thing…something that would repulse me…however, I had to do my research, to prove to myself it was nonsense…and, spoiler alert…for the most part it is, but not completely.

Now, let me get something out of the way right now…there are many hateful organizations that cloak themselves are fighting for “Men’s Rights.” Incels, the Proud Boys, the Oath Keepers, etc. I always assumed that anyone who supported even examining “Men’s Rights” was filled with hate. Well, I’m not filled with hate. I’m a feminist…and I don’t identify that way in an effort to get laid…cause well, although I’m not an “incel” I’m incel. (get it…hahaha). As I started my research I was lead to the “documentary” titled “The Red Pill.” Great…a documentary making some stupid Matrix analogy. Before I watched it I did a little research on it…it was funded by Prager University and Milo Yiannopoulos. Greeeattt…a movie funded by an organization I hate with a passion, and a person I hate with a passion. Ohh, and the person interviewed the most was Paul Elam…(male backwards…coincidence? mmmmm) who is quoted as saying “P---- is the only real empowerment women will ever know. Put all the hopelessly wishful thinking of feminist ideology aside and what remains is the fact that it is men and pretty much men only who draw power from accomplishment, who invent technology, build nations, cure disease, create empires and generally advance civilization. Women whether acknowledging it makes us feel warm and fuzzy or not, depend on men for all of that and the only tool they have at their disposal to have any sort of influence on any of it is the power of p---- and p---- is powerful indeed…Sexual robotics may well prove to be the best thing that ever happened to women from the standpoint of their humanity.... what would that do to the vast majority of women who would suddenly have to prove their worth as human beings beyond simply being the owners of said p——." I was not excited to watch this but I had to if I was going to write about it…however much I thought the whole concept was nonsense. So, as promised, I watched it, and yes, most of it was not reality based. Making dumb points that “Women and children are always brought to safety before men in an emergency” and “women should make less than men cause they live longer.” Honestly, I don’t even see how one had bearing on the other…and that “men are victimized in domestic violence situations almost as much as women.” Wait…is that true? The first two were opinion and the third was an actual statement of fact. Now, I wasn’t going to trust anything this movie said so I had to do my research. The answer surprised me…of course it was no…women are the victim quite a bit more, but the number of male victims was not as low as I originally had thought. “The crime survey’s stats also showed that 3.8% of men (equal to 786,000) and 7.5% of women (1.6m) were victims of domestic abuse in 2018/19. As ManKind points out: ‘For every three victims of domestic abuse, two will be female, one will be male.’”(National Domestic Violence Data Base). However while this is true, there is only one domestic violence shelter for men in the entire United States. This also can be misleading because the majority of DV shelters are unisex. Now, the movie pretty much had the thesis “someone cannot be a feminist if they admit males are disadvantaged AT ALL.” I disagree with this whole heartedly…because just looking at certain statistics…males are disadvantaged. Keep in mind, I identify as a feminist. Now, it goes without saying that if you take list and write the ways women are discriminated against the way men are discriminated against, you might have a mile high list for the women, and half a sheet of paper for the men. But the half a sheet of paper is not zero. It’s those things I would like to discuss. Now, let’s get some faulty statistics out of the way…you know, the ones the movie pushes. 93% of work places deaths are men…true but out of context…men typically have more physical jobs due to genetic makeup and women have just recently been taking part in these jobs. The movie states that 90% of the homeless population is men…that is just a flat out lie…it is 60%. The movie states that 90% of suicides is the United States are men. While that is not true, the number is 78%. Why this disparity. The only conclusion I could come up with is that men, throughout history have been taught to hide their emotions or they will come off as “a p—-.” I even have examples in my own life where I held back true emotion under fear of being ostracized. One thing that wasn’t mentioned in the movie but has always bothered me from observed experiences is false allegations against men. Whenever someone comes out against a politician or celebrity and accuses them of rape and/or sexual assault men are asked to fall in line, and not voice any other opinion other than “the woman is telling the truth.” I have encountered this twice in the past year. The first time was when I posted that Aziz Ansari did nothing wrong and the I did not believe the claims of Tara Reade against Joe Biden. Holy hell did men and women come after me like I was a woman-hating chauvinist pig. I pride myself in not being that; however I was called things I will not mention in this rant…but they were bad. Before I get myself into too much trouble, let me say that I believe every sexual assault allegation should be taken very seriously and thoroughly vetted by the police and any other agency that looks into it…however, that doesn’t mean they are all true. I will often times be told…only 8% of rape accusations end up being false…so the numbers speak for themselves. Actually, it’s 5.9% but I do believe that number is out of context. That number (5.9%) are rape allegations that are proven…100% to be false by either a confession of the woman, DNA showing it was another man, or proof that the man accused was in another state or country. However, the amount 44.9% of rape accusations are not handed over to the prosecutor. That number can also be misleading because prior to the #metoo movement…there was the ethic that “boys will be boys”…and I’m happy that is dead because it is offensive. I do predict the number of rape accusations handed over to the DA office will go up, but the amount not handed over will never be as low as 5.9%. Also, if a man and a woman are both blacked out drunk and have sex, the likelihood of the man getting arrested is much higher than the woman. The one place, and yes, only one, where I believe the woman has every advantage over the man is in Family Court. First, I am as pro-life as they get. Once a woman is pregnant is totally her choice whether or not to keep the baby…the man had a choice when he choose to have sex and put himself in that position…and that is probably 99% of the time…however, what about that 1% (these aren’t actual statistics). There are two types of men that have to be looked at here…married and unmarried. First, lets look at unmarried men. If an unmarried man is the father of a woman’s baby, he must pay child support…no questions, with only two exceptions (unless the woman doesn’t want it or another man adopts the child). However, would you believe that “sperm stealing” is actually a thing? I honestly though it just happened on lawyer shows and cop shows. Examples of this really are limited to a woman telling a man she is on the pill (probably cause of the heat of moment) while she is not. The movie quoted a Nigerian Story where a hotel maid took a condom out of the garbage and impregnated herself. Well, upon further research…that ended up being a satirical story with no truth to it. The movie also claimed that women use other “sexual techniques” to get the sperm, and than impregnate themselves with it…I could not find any examples of such. However, female on male rape is a real thing, admittedly much rarer than it’s counterpart, where once the woman gets out of jail, she can fight the man for custody…assuming she did not put the child up for adoption and the man is the sole custodian. When it comes to married men, their are much sadder stories. One thing the movie showed that I thought was insightful (and there weren’t many), was a woman on “The Wendy Williams Show” saying she wanted to have another child but her husband didn’t, so she was going to “trick him” and THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE clapped with approval. Here are some statistics that really made me think…and I’m still thinking: Fathers are granted custody only 18.3% of the time Mothers are awarded child support nearly 2 times as often as fathers are Fathers are awarded nearly 10% less, on average, in child support Fathers receive less of the awarded child support than mothers 69% of people surveyed believe that having two parents in the home is essential to a child’s happiness More than 25% of fathers live apart from their children Only 10% of nonresident fathers help their children with their homework Nearly 60% of fathers who do not get custody, speak to their children on the phone 4 times a month or less Over 25% of fathers who do not get custody, have zero in-person visits with their children each year Nearly all (97%) of the fathers surveyed agree that the rewards of being a parent are worth the costs/work that go into it. (National Institute of Divorce and Custody) Believe it or not…their are some good men out there. Men who want to be in their child’s life…I would actually say that is probably the majority; but being the woman holds the baby for nine months, it would appear she is preferred once those nine months are over. One of the saddest issues is false paternity. In all 50 states, when a married woman gives birth, the husband is legally deemed to be the father. However, what if he isn’t? What is the woman had an affair? Irrelevant. It is also illegal to perform a paternity test on a baby without either the mother’s consent or a court order. In these situations there are two male victims. First is the husband, who could be raising a child that is not his…and if he finds out the child is not his, he will be on the hook for child support anyway and has already formed an emotional connection with the child. The second victim is the biological father who will have NO LEGAL rights to a child that is biologically his. While asshole men might see this as a blessing…I have personally met men who have become suicidal over this. In conclusion, I am not a Men’s Rights Advocate…I am a feminist. However, I enjoy ranting on issues that people don’t talk about…all the way from porcupines to men’s rights…that doesn’t mean I fall on any side. I believe that in order to gain equality we have to work on and focus on how females have been discriminated against over the years; but to just ignore the (albeit few) ways men are discriminated against is irresponsible.

[divine-motion]

don’t fucking interact if you ship t/cest and minor/adult ships

more shitty phone photos of sketchbook sketches for my tmnt fan incarnation/tmnt 2012 rewrite bc i have no shame and i’m having fun with it! pictures should have captions since i spent time writing them out, but tumblr might mess it up, so in case captions doesn’t work: 1. left to right: leo, donatello up, raphael down, michelangelo 2. Casey Jones up top, April O’Neil to the right, donatello in the middle and karai at the bottom 3. casey and don again, raphael to the left, mikey at the bottom just bc i liked how their their expressions turned out and didn’t want a bunch of negative space so don and case appear again 4. size chart featuring turtles. left to right: leo, don, mikey, raph 5. sketchy Slash design. big boy.

general thoughts character stuff below the Keep Reading. A Lot of rambling below so beware!!

April: 15 years old, trans and bi. local fifteen year old telepath finds out that not everyone is able to feel what other people are feeling, something she’s been able to do since she was six after she played in that one weirdly glowy puddle (early Kraang mutagen attempt that only managed to mutate April in the sense that it gave her telepathy, was originally intended to make humans become part of the Kraang hivemind). she’s largely unfazed by the existence of mutants and aliens, taking it in stride, and finds out about the Kraang - and meets the turtles - while snooping around TCRI business (aspiring journalist that she is) and accidentally witnessing the mutation of Snakeweed. her telepathy, which later as she grows in power alongside the turtles extends to telekinesis and basically possession, is very useful whenever she gets into a scrap since she can predict what moves her opponent will make, thus letting her dodge their blows effectively. personality wise she is a very determined and driven young girl, incredibly curious (and cannot mind her own business, she wants to know all the drama while not having to be part of it... which makes her very fortunate to be a telepath. listen she’s 15 she’s allowed to misuse her powers a little bit. as a treat.), playful, and cheerful, and she’s an extroverted autistic. in her spare time between her studies, she likes to play bass, sing, read, and write. that, and investigating whatever shady business is going on in town, and she makes it very clear to the turtles that even if they weren’t going to deal with the Kraang, she’d continue to try to stop them herself. she would like to not live under the threat of her or her loved ones getting mutated, thank you very much! and, you know, it’s kind of exciting. kind of.

i know it’s bc i have brain issues when it comes to parent figures but i am very much leaning towards Splinter not being... a good dad. i don’t think 2012 Splinter is a good dad anyways but i’d probably amp it up, make him a mix of 2012 and idw probably. i’m still mulling it over but like, remember in the season 1 finale when leo is watching his show and thinks the captain guy making a totally unnecessary sacrifice is a heroic move, and then Splinter tells leo (his fifteen year old child) that leo should know what or who to sacrifice, more or less telling him to sacrifice his brothers’ lives, potentially?? i know there was a lot at stake but hello??? i remember watching it and being like me: ah i see, this is showing that splinter is wrong and there is no need for any sacrifices as seen in the show when the captain Goes Down With His Ship for no reason other than just sacrificing himself, and leo will see that- leo: *tries to sacrifice himself twice in the finale, both times being kind of unnecessary/seemed like if he had just hurried or done something slightly different there would be no need to stay behind, and he gets out fine with no consequences, seemingly no injuries, and does Not learn anything, his brothers don’t even get sad when they think he died or get mad at him for pulling such a dumb move) me: surprised_pikachu.jpeg

like that moment haunts me. has any other splinter told their sons to sacrifice himself or his brothers? has any other splinter put that on them??? idw doesn’t count if he has bc he’s more explicitly supposed to be bad so???

sometimes writers think they’ve made an uncle iroh but they really, really, really haven’t. also his backstory is the same as in the show

anyways. Donatello: 15 years old, bog turtle, nonbinary (he/they, doesn’t mind being called brother but doesn’t like to be called “boy” or “girl” or whatever), bi. he isn’t in love with April. no creepy incel shit here. donnie is instead more like a mix between his Rise and 2003 self. he has trouble expressing himself and is pretty introverted, but he is very altruistic, kind, and compassionate. a lot of his inventions are made to help people and he was driven to learn about science and engineering because he wants to find a way to reverse splinter’s mutation, to give splinter his life and humanity back. he feels like he needs to know if splinter would just abandon them if he wasn’t a huge rat man, needs to know if there’s any part of splinter that blames them for being constant reminders of his mutation. other than that, he also likes to make inventions because he’s a dreamer and wants to experiment to see how much of the unknown he can push beyond. also, the best liar out of the turtles. also fairly good at compromising and prefers to solve conflicts without violence he can get a little... “obnoxious 15 year old genius” at times. even when he’s helpful it can come off as a bit “poor dear isn’t as smart as me”, and while he usually gets along well with Raph, he doesn’t handle Raph’s temper well at all (calls him “Wrathael/Wrath” and thinks he’s being super clever) and gets really dismissive of Raph’s “outbursts”.

Michelangelo: 13 years old, diamondback terrapin, unsure about the gender and sexuality thing but he doesn’t think he’s exactly cis and definitely not straight. a bouncy ball of sunshine and surprising emotional maturity and emotional intelligence! more so than his emotionally constipated brothers, at least. it’s on his thirteenth birthday (it was leo’s idea for them to pick dates that would let them have their own birthdays instead of sharing the “Mutation Day”, Mutation Day being another special “holiday”) that the Plot would be set in motion, as he’s finally allowed to go to the surface same as his brothers, and on this first night out they meet April and the Kraang and other mutants. he is a goof still, but he’s capable in his own right and gets frustrated when people treat him like a baby or an idiot because he’s not. he doesn’t always treat everything with the seriousness it should but like. he’s thirteen, he’s having fun. even so, he’s very insistent of taking responsibility whenever he does do something wrong and gets mad if someone tries to take the blame for something he’s done. definitely the most compassionate and empathetic out of the turtles, he’s quick to make friends and is very persuasive due to his earnest nature and good heart. much like donnie, he prefers to solve conflict without violence but does enjoy knocking skulls a lot more than donnie. unlike donnie, though, he is almost overly forgiving and not petty at all. he’s well aware that his kindness and forgiveness may be taken advantage of, but he still likes to approach people with an open hand, even if he knows that it may end up getting bitten. oh, and his hobbies include drawing, cooking, singing, and dancing. he likes to express himself!

Raphael: 14 years old, mississippi map turtle, trans, bi. all his fury is compressed within his tiny body, that’s why he’s so angry all the time! no, he’s not angry all the time, but he does have a short fuse. he absolutely hates his anger issues which leads to a lot of self-loathing, and a lot of frustration as his family members either don’t take his anger seriously or don’t have the tools to help him with it. he’s the physically strongest out of the bunch and the least agile. he loves animals and plants a lot and keeps a lot of flowers in his room, hoping that he can one day become a gardener. as his idw self, he wants to watch things grow, but no matter what he does he seems to be best at destroying things. he’s also the one most self-conscious about how the human world perceives them, as he greatly fears rejection, and is the first one to see something positive with people getting mutated - namely, that maybe this way mutants will be more well known and finally accepted by society, so he’ll no longer be trapped in the sewer until the end of his days. so yeah, he’s a huge optimist, in truth. also he’s great at knitting - great at creating and taking care of things in general - and there’s no leo and raph rivalry this time around. he can get mad at leo but not really more than he gets with his other brothers.

Casey: 15 years old, nonbinary (they/them), bi. teen vigilante who gets inspired to fight mutants and the big time criminals (no beating up pickpockets or shoplifters or whatever, just the ones that are really hurting people) and gets roped into the turtle fam after meeting raph and becoming unexpected friends (everyone was expecting it, once Casey realized that mutants are people and not weird monsters. well, not all the time, anyways). they struggle a bit in school not because of a lack of trying but a lack of time, as their parents work full time jobs and someone has to take care of casey’s little sister. their parents are very loving, but they only have so much time, so casey takes it upon themselves to take care of their little sister when their parents are busy and/or burned out from work. that, and they run into the classic dilemma of vigilante work clashing with school work. as always, they have a short fuse, they’re pretty cocky, they like beating ass, and they like hockey a whole lot. hockey, vigilante work, school, and taking care of their little sister... yeah, they have a lot on their plate. oh, and making their little inventions like the taser glove and their puck bombs, something that they bond with donnie over.

Leonardo: 17 years old, Central American wood turtle, trans, gay. he doesn’t fall in love with his sister oh my god. ahem. so, leo is raised from the start to be a Leader and has to mature very quickly, learning to be an adult way earlier than he should’ve, and as such he is very stoic and quiet, and doesn’t seem to have any hobbies, instead just doing chores and training almost constantly, and when he’s not doing that he’s reading or sleeping in his free time. he’s incredibly protective of his younger brothers and his other allies/friends, even if he acts distant and detached most of the time, and removes himself from situations where they’re having fun to not be the stick in the mud. he loves his brothers and admires them greatly, believing they could be So Much if the surface world would just accept them, and as a result he tries to be The Soldier so his brothers won’t have to. alas, they still get caught up in the Kraang and Shredder business, which frustrates him internally. he is the best fighter out of the turtles on account of having more years to train (and convincing Splinter to wait a few more years before they got Real training bc Come On Dude They’re Kids) but it’s the Only thing he’s good at, along with stealth and his sharp eyes. he absolutely sucks at talking when it isn’t about a mission or something he can script easily in his head. in his mind, he’s supposed to be more of a weapon than a person, an idea that isn’t exactly encouraged by Splinter... but not exactly discouraged either. his arc would be very paralleled with Karai’s, as they would both learn to hate their dads... also, absolutely down for murder, and a lawful neutral at best, putting his family and friends’ safety above all other things and following a strict personal code. doesn’t care too much for society’s laws, though.

Karai: 16 years old, demigirl, lesbian. same backstory as in the show, she’s born as Miwa but gets taken by Oroku Saki and raised as his daughter. however, she doesn’t exactly want revenge against Hamato Yoshi because she believes that he killed her mother. she never knew her mother, so it’s much more difficult to hate someone for taking her mother away, even if it does mean that she never got to know her mother. especially since her father rarely spoke of what her mother was like, and much more about how much he hates Yoshi. instead, her need for revenge is more for the possibly idyllic life she was robbed of, since she believes that maybe, just maybe, her father Saki would’ve been a kind father that would’ve let her have a normal childhood and not be molded into a warrior from the start if her mother still lived. and hey, maybe Tang Shen would be a nice mom too. being trained in the art of deception, Karai has a tendency to talk a lot and say very little, or at least very little that is true. she is rarely ever sincere and acts as if she’s taking nothing seriously, which is part of her defense mechanism to never let anyone close or see her true self. she mocks pretty much everyone, ally and enemy alike, but especially likes to make fun of her father’s henchmen and is always the first to point out their failures. while she does value honor to some extent, she is a bit “flimsy” when it comes to loyalty, especially after the truth about her father is revealed. when that is revealed, she at first just feels very numb, learning that not only has she been nothing but a tool and a weapon for the Shredder from the very start, but also that the idyllic fantasy where her mother still lived, perhaps her life wouldn’t be so different after all. she looks at leonardo and sees a reflection of herself, that her “real” father chose to train his sons the same way the Shredder trained her. she feels stupid for feeling like she’s been robbed of even a fantasy, but it still enrages her. of course, this also inspires her to stay with the Foot Clan... just to get the kill on Shredder.

... yeah. that got long. ahem. i’m very passionate about this unfortunately!! anyways i might draw/write more for it because no one can stop me and i’m having fun