#but he has a better claim
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My trans nibling just shared that he's thinking about switching to a cool, new name...
That I have already named a leading character in my book.
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ghost stares at the ceiling, chest heaving in a harsh pant; sweat ice on his clammy flesh and soaked into the sheet he restlessly kicks away.
ears still ringing, his fingertips blindly drift down to trail along his vivisection scar. he half-expects blood to smear in their wake. his own line of solomon, who ordered him split in twain; half of him given to a grieving mother and half left with the grieving to be.
just for both his broken halves to be rejected.
what did it make him that his mother grieved him more than she loved him? that she begged to be relieved of him more adamantly than she begged to receive him? why did his worth spill out with his drawn blood? why was his pain lesser than hers?
his hand flexes, digging into the raised scar like it’ll part beneath his fingertips to plunge into his mangled insides. no one knows the cruelty of reforming the halved; his name, his being, not nearly as important as his body when he was stripped from himself. no one knows the pain of healing and understanding losing pieces of yourself means losing your value along with them.
how many more pieces did he have to lose before he was halved once more? before his very presence incurred grief so strong it was better to be rid of him than cradle his bloodied remains?
did the infant fight himself? did he age always at odds with himself; his halves never truly whole? he hopes he wasn’t, that he was spared the loss of self; the fear that one may be welcomed over the other.
who will he lose when the inevitable comes? when he’s ripped apart again? simon? or ghost? is it better to be cursed with choice just like his mother or live with an aftermath chosen for him? does it matter if in the end, he convinces himself there was nothing of him left to lose?
his head lolls to the side and the wild buck of his chest slows. he watches johnny beside him, his face lax with the rare peace of sleep; his cheek squished against the pillow, his lips pursed as long breaths escape him.
johnny. soap. never torn asunder but two all the same.
he carefully reaches out and ghosts his fingers along the jagged scar on his chin. even in sleep, he presses into his bloodied touch. he’s never fled his half-flesh, never shies away from his gore as it spills unbidden from his cleaved torso. he holds on where his mother let him go; cups his stomach to hold his insides in place and never minds the blood that drips through his fingers.
simon will never let him become his own solomon and cannibalise himself. he will never let him question which half of him has more value; which pieces he can afford to lose before he’s cast aside.
ghost’s soap. simon’s johnny. his.
whole, in any incarnation.
#yall know the story of king solomon?#and the two mothers who claim a baby is theirs so he orders the baby cut in half so they can each have half of him?#well guess what woke me up out of a dead sleep and demanded to be written?#anyway roba showing simon clips of his mum on the news begging for the safe return of her boy#for the government to do something; /anything/ please she just wants her son back#just for ghost to dig himself out of simon's coffin and she can't bear to look at the man he's become#he's cold and afraid and hesitant and angry and in pain and so different from her little boy that it's just too difficult for her#he's a living breathing reminder that her simon didn't come back from the desert#and ghost has to live with the knowledge that his mum couldn't love him through anything#that maybe if he got himself out sooner if he was stronger or smarter or a better soldier... if he hadn't let simon die...#maybe he wouldn't have changed so much that she wouldn't look him in the eye and see a stranger#if you know anything about me by now you know i love the separation of the self and the person they become around others or bc of trauma#whether thats hizashi and present mic or simon and ghost its one of my absolute favourite tropes#and simon knowing hes become someone else and going home expecting to still be loved anyway?#just for this new version of himself to be rejected?#thats the moment he fractures into ghost#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#ghost call of duty#cod mw2#cod mwii#save post
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there is a difference between being born to a throne, maliciously vying for a throne, stealing a throne, and having a throne thrust upon you when you are already in the midst of an identity crisis. And I fear Loki's place in the line of succession has people unable to differentiate between any of these
#you can't really argue he planned the extent of Thor's downfall#that was all Odin#Loki didn't force Thor to invade Jotunheim he isn't even the one who gave Thor the idea -- Thor did that all on his own!#that he was doing waswasa @ thor didn't help but wasn't really crime worthy on its own#Thor himself took time convincing the other warriors to be okay with the trip despite the treason and danger involved#like. what. Thor can't differentiate good advice from bad and is emotionally volatile and reckless and that's Loki's fault?#THOR was the one who got them past Heimdall too#the entire ordeal inadvertently showed off the favouritism Thor was receiving in comparison to Loki#even though Loki was the one supposedly so easily influencing Thor to such an extent#call Thor a puppet the way he--wait. no. that sounds weird. uhhhhh#you get the point#people will claim Loki was all up in there rearranging Thor's mental processes to cause his downfall#when really it was Loki doing the bare minimum instigation and watching things only devolve from there#because Thor WAS reckless and immature ?? and he WAS quick to anger and enjoyed exerting his power with violence ??#Loki didn't STEAL THE THRONE FROM THOR he literally just is implied to undermine the coronation#that's not even confirmed but we assume it's true that he let the frost giants in near the casket etc.#Loki has his own actual crimes that he did against Thor and hugging his bro's arm and saying 'you're soooooo strong and correct' was not on#even if you manage to argue Loki was cheering Thor on for the invasion (he wasn't) it was clearly to dob Thor in with Odin#which he did when he had some guard inform Odin#that Odin's chosen punishment was for Thor's disobedience aside stop blaming Loki for the damage ODIN inflicted on him#focus on Loki making up lies to Thor about how Odin died instead like at least Loki DID SOMETHING for that#you can even ascribe as evil a motive as you want there bc Loki was slipping fr#twirling his hair and telling Thor he's smarter about the realm's safety than the king was on the normal scale#you want to talk morals go look at how eager Thor was to invade mass destroy and massacre in the other realm#and expected Odin to 'finish them off! together!' bc he was power high on whatever bloodlust pheromones battle apparently imitates for him#sigh. this is why you can't have nice things Thor. no Loki you're barely any better. sit down. have a cookie.
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Big update! Change log is in the tags, plus a much cleaner look!
Doc link
#hypno changed to 6’4 with an official source#iskall now 5’10 with an official source#(which cracks me up coz he claimed to be taller than Ren lol)#tango moved from yellow to green#Grian changed to 5’8 and yellow#(bc Joel says they’re the same height n it seems Joel is 5’8 but I couldn’t find a clip of him actually saying it)#and possibly most controversial:#Bdubs moved back to green!#I know he jokes abt it a lot n other ppl joke abt it a LOT but#the majority of instances he sticks with 5’10#I’ve linked 3 sources where he says that#but if anyone ever has more sources#either saying 5’10 or saying anything else#hmu! I wanna provide as many links as I can so ppl can make their own decision#that goes for anyone!#the more sources the better#thanks again all!#hermitcraft heights#rae art#hermitcraft#quick edit to fix jevin who’s been marked wrong for who knows how long LOL
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genderfluid byakuya and tonaegiri au where every morning byakuya makes makoto and kyoko guess what pronouns to use and kyoko launches into a full analytical spiel based on today's clothing choices and yesterday's dinner and current weather trends etc. meanwhile makoto guesses blindly and somehow gets it right every single timem
#byakuya togami#makoto naegi#kyoko kirigiri#tonaegiri#gee makoto how come you get two girlfriends who are also both boyfriends#ultimate lucky guy. do you get it#(hands blindfolded makoto a singular kitkat bar) “left”#(clicks my tongue and marks 'correct' on my clipboard)#kyoko has a 98% accuracy rate. makoto has 100%. she claims not to be bitter about it#makoto has debated trying to say the wrong answer just once to make her feel better but also suspects he'd be insulting her if he did#byakuya has considered not saying anything if makoto were to get it wrong at some point bc it'd be funny. but that hasn't happened yet so#my thoughts
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Laios while I love you and do think you are in the right. You should not be in a fight that close, getting your ass beat up by a man that hasn't eaten or slept in days thatt literally just fainted a couple minutes ago.
be better babe
#I also think shuro has like somewhat valid claims and reasons it was pretty fuck what just happened but still#also I did not appreciate him acting like he loves falin more than her actual brother who has also spent days looking for her.#and all that stuff about never liking him was just mean😡#free my boy he don't know no better he altruistic! that a medical condition!#kc watches#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeons and dragons#dunmeshi#laios touden#laios dungeon meshi#laios thorden#shuro dungeon meshi#toshiro nakamoto#dunmeshi shuro#dunmeshi shitpost
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... Made myself legitimately, physically sad thinking about Kory's place on Earth post NTT /in modern comics generally.
#i have so much catch up to do#but from what i understand/ have seen?#she's either still on whatever incarnation of Titans but like. babysitting. or in TT's Titans generally being ignored#or in RHATO where you could argue she finally snapped but honestly its not even the same character#and it's just ... so sad?#i genuinely hope there's stuff I'm missing and will find out later#because she has no family on Earth except the Titans and it feels like they all either died or moved on#and maybe she's working with the next gen#but who gives a damn about her as Kory?#it makes the writing between her and Roy in RHATO that much worse#because yeah he SHOULD have been fucking worried when she showed up claiming amnesia#and lets be real its not like she's getting respect on earth- dc wont let her#Koriand'r#there's at least a decent friendship with Vic in JL Odyssey from what i remember#but like#... i hope she gets better than i think she does
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Fun awful doodle I did of New Age Nightmare and Error last night immediately after I posted their refs.
#I wasn't going to post it#but why not lol-#Nightmare is the braincell holder but he also is allowed a bit of owo energy#meanwhile Error's brain just has a bunch of explosives going off all the time but he looks aware#I think he would explode a man for getting too close to Night#Lore: Error has a long long history of property damage. he claims it was by accident. mostly.#this would be better but my roommate and 2 friends came in and I had to stop working on it because I couldn't#begin to explain this even if I tried#New Age AU#I do want to do more serious artwork of Night though because he's a self-indulgent design and I really like his mask and hood vibes#he was a very intimidating king. not... not much anymore#he. he might actually wear heels now to simulate his old height tbh.
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in MDZS the novel, the innkeeper in Yunping mentions that people are too scared to go petition Yunmeng Jiang for help because someone once walked in on Sect Leader Jiang whipping a guy in the main hall, supposedly because the guy was a demonic cultivator.
#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#jc apologism#anyways as you can hopefully tell by now this is a jc stan blog.#so as a stan i will do my rightful stan duty and insist that my fave did nothing wrong#so. onwards. the “jiang cheng tortures demonic cultivators” claim is interesting on several levels#because we don't see it happen onscreen. and because thematically mdzs is a book about the unreliability of rumors#especially when said rumors conform to your preexisting understanding of someone. or what you want to hear about someone#it would have been so easy for mxtx to include a scene where jc tortures a demonic cultivator onscreen. i would love to read it too#but that doesnt happen. when jc actually corners wwx he just shoves a dog in his face and bullies him emotionally#smh jc get your shit together!! what is this lame ass display?? not living up to your reputation here loser#anyways. tbh i consider two things separately: 1. mxtx's intentions. and 2. what the text itself implies#for 1. i am legitimately unsure of what to think. mxtx relies on rumors/empathy/etc to give us info about side characters#in part because she's constrained herself to writing from wwx's perspective and has no other easy way of getting the info to us#does she intend for us to question the rumors? or are we supposed to take them as fact because of the narration limits described?#2. what the text itself implies is not necessarily the same as what mxtx intends.#for me mdzs is in part a story about the unreliability of rumors and reputation etc etc. other meta writers than i have explained it better#so for the work to go “all the rumors about wwx were exaggerated/manipulated/not 100% correct.”#“but the rumors about everyone else are 100% true!!!!!”#is peak stupidity. and shit-tier writing#and i actually like mdzs so i would like to believe the writer is more intelligent than that#thus. i conclude in part due to this emotional necessity of mine that there must have been something more going on#anyways. i have similar opinions about the “did jiggy kill rusong” business but that's a post for later#ill probably put my jc torture opinions in their own post some day#yanyan polls
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new deadpool movie is just. hey, i'm deadpool, and i'm breaking the 4th wall! every 4 seconds! also: here's a vague critique of a Big Corporate Bad. oh and a meme. you like that, don't you? isn't that funny? are you laughing harder than you've ever laughed in your life, you fuck? are you pissing yourself laughing???
#personal#i'm 30 mins in and like damn okay i get it ryan reynolds is too cool to be constrained by the traditional movie conventions of the past#wherein a film is just a fucking story being told#it has to be a constant running quippy commentary on a story being told and for some reason that's sooooo much funnier and better#i'm think i'm gonna call it here i only gave it a chance bc a friend of mine sung its praises to the high heavens#what men find funny is really grim honestly#they tried to poke fun at the wayyyyy overdone “he's right behind me isn't he?” that ppl make fun of marvel for and like#no it's not meta or satirical or somehow claiming it back if you make deadpool say it followed by a smartass remark#you didn't do what you think you did marvel lmao#and breaking the 4th wall is only a good device when it's used sparingly and with intention to create impact#not when deadpool is whispering some memetic nonsense as an aside into the camera every 20 seconds please i beg of you#play your character motherfucker stop making eye contact and saying shit to me like we're friends you're not real#deadpool#this is 71% serious
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“Jason’s so rebellious”, “he’s the problem child” bro is NOT. He THINKS he is. But if anything he’s the kiss ass child trying to seem cool and rebellious. He’ll blow up a building and immediately be like “did Bruce see that?” “Did he see how rebellious I am??” “What’d he say???”. Rebellious my ass.
#He’s not really the cool antihero the fandom and even some comics claim he is#When dick rebelled he cut off Bruce however he could to be with the titans#not a expert on Tim but I think he did something similar or at least did the basic#Spray paint and skateboarding type of rebellion#But no Jason has some dumbass ideology which just happens to clash perfectly with his dads#And also gives him room to monologue about how he has daddy issues#(He doesn’t)#(At least not from Bruce)#All he does is care what Bruce thinks#In a strange filial version of the girl asking if the guy she’s “not into” mentioned her#And no I don’t think Bruce’s moral code is good#But people claiming Jason’s is better don’t understand that#“I just kill bad people”#Isn’t a sustainable solution#And can be heavily influenced by personal biases#Jason todd#i guess it’s kinda#anti jason todd#batman#red hood#dc comics#P-14c
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i want to say for the record that you do not, under any circumstances, have to hand it to jos verstappen
#'oh he's made a better point than the team principals' has he tho??? has he???#why are we perpetuating these conspiracy theories about individual stewards?#did you ever think that jos verstappen may be as biased if not more than the stewards that he is claiming to be against?#there are issues with the stewarding processes but very few about the stewards themselves
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Anyway, the way Sanderson decided to conclude Shallan's arc was stupid as hell and infuriating as fuck. We were promised answers regarding her and her past that we absolutely did not get. I'm absolutely livid.
#Knowing her mom is one small piece of her past jfc#How about her original truths#And what exactly counted as truths for pattern#We know some but not all#How and why did the ghostbloods get involved with her family#What exactly were her parents arguing about so explosivly regarding her future#That she mentioned literally one book ago#Why did fucking ishar and nale get better more satisfying endings than her#Also why is it that adolin and kaladin are the only characters who spend any time thinking about her#Shallan claims to love jasnah navani and dalinar but none of them spare her any thought#She has gotten shafted so many times by the narrative#And I'm fucking livid#What the actual fuck was he thinking#And why didn't beta readers push back more#wind and truth spoilers#wat spoilers#stormlight archive
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Every time I write or letter Elias directly addressing Maia I find myself asking "Do you actually not know Maia's name or are you just being an ass?" I mean, I know the answer. At least, I should know the answer. He's being very willful over this.
#You also just know it's been driving her crazy every time he's said Butterswitch instead of the actual syrup name#Much as he likes sweets I'm sure he's very well acquainted#with Mrs Butterwitch and her saccharine delights#And has been doing it intentionally on the claims that Butterswitch sounds better. Rolls off the tongue.#With Butterwitch there's only one butter#but imagine#A witch made out of a whole assortment of churned creams#what a world we could live in were that the case#He would say#As Audric stares back at him over breakfast dead-eyed and wondering where they all went wrong#solivaga
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I have decided to completely disregard the events depicted in Secret Invasion.
In much the same way that Marvel/Feige have disregarded the very real effects which Stephen Strange's grueling, excruciating painful emotionally & physically, 1,500+ year search for the path to victory over Thanos, have had upon him.
#and don't even get me started on having characters in MoM mock/chastise/tell him that all Strange's are bad/dangerous#or claim they couldn't really love him even though they engraved a beaucoup bucks watch years ago to tell him they love him#and for the record I haven't watched Secret Invasion but I got enough of it through tumblr to reject it#just by the very assertion that Rhodey was an imposter for years & years#UGH#Stephen Strange#deserves so so so much better than what has been done to him in the MCU#yet he never speaks a word in his own defense#well except for 'we were at war and I did what I had to do'#Doctor Strange#the Architect of victory over Thanos#at a huge and brutal and terrible cost to himself#Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness#avengers: infinity war#avengers: endgame#unless we get Scott back for DS III I have no confidence that Stephen will be treated justly#DS III#Doctor Strange III#Strangebatch#the forever LOML#secret invasion
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I really can't say enough good things about the expression work they did with rook in this scene, the way you can see it all dawn for them and all the little nuances along the way. I've had some trouble at points to get rye's more distinct features to play nice with whatever the facial animation setup is (still always tweaking. every day in every way we get closer and closer etc., getting the mouth to move just right is such a struggle for many scenes lol), but in this it really worked out. perfectly. yeah, that is exactly how he would emote and I would DIE for him. just. look at him. his hard tight little mouth like a child furiously holding back tears. the shifts between vulnerability and anger, the swell of fury rising through that angry option. the way you can see his eyes go wide at hearing the companion's voices and how he immediately realizes that joining them means leaving varric behind. the warring emotions at 'you're not alone' -- confusion, wanting to protest, knowing varric is right but maybe not quite how yet. so much of the arc I'd envisioned for Rye going in hinged on this scene, and I'm so glad that when I got there it worked out so well. yeah. that's how it happened.
(I also like that you can see how tough it is for varric to be faced with 'I can't do this alone' and having to let rook down, in a way. it's the one time he glances away from rook not contemplatively but reflexively. looking up at the path they're going to have to walk -- without him. having to send them off with nothing but words and hope and your faith in them, because you can't be there with them anymore. and he only lets himself look sad when rook turns their back to him for a moment. the parent feelings in that. ouch aou aough I'm. fhsdjkfhas. ow. considering how little time rook and (plausibly real) varric actually spend on screen together, they really pack the animation so full of information and meaning when you look closely.)
also a true blink and you miss it moment but uh
yeah. sure solas wants to be a hero deep down. sure he deserves a second -- third?? fucking millionth????? -- chance to redeem himself. and I'll totally be the person to give it to him. don't you worry about it varric. you just rest now. I'll be taking it from here fhdsakj
extra heartbreak detail for the road: when varric tells rook not to get misty-eyed on him...
it's because they are actually visibly tearing up. so fuck me I guess
(also I know I'm always saying this lol allow me my broken record moment, but big shoutout to Jeff Berg for his voice acting as American masc Rook, this performance really has become so incredibly dear to me so quickly)
#sorry it cuts off so abruptly at the end I was fighting for my life against the ps5 clip length limitations lol have pity upon me#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#varric tethras#dragon age meta#for extremely understandable reasons they save the facial animation budget in this game for when they really need it.#but man. when they go there they go OFF and it HURTS ME#I think 'one step at a time' could be a decent varric & rye tag but it doesn't have that 'makes me feel crazy' element.#hm. I shall bide my time until some line of poetry knocks me the fuck out with feelings methinks#I do love rye's little face so impossibly much it brings me such simple joy just to. see him#I have refined a bit more now that I'm on a second playthrough and I think I'm starting to realize more what the sliders do#with better specificity and have troubleshot at least some of the problem areas I'd been noticing#(hilariously his makeup somehow didn't make it when I did the import character option so I spent the whole prologue yesterday#squinting at the screen a bit like... 'hm. he is my boy but something's slightly off'. and it was the fact that I was seeing#his nakey eyes for the first time in 150+ hours fjdsa. he looks even more baby without all the kohl btw)#anyway in being able to show us characters welling up bioware has claimed so much power and I was not ready
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