#but he doesnt stop her. and everyone has to be selfish at times

[pinkseas]

on my hands and knees begging u to say your words about xiaolumi… i want to hear them… i’ll pay you back in art i prommy—

WHY WOULD YOU ENABLE ME LIKE THIS no need for art i literally owe you my fucking Life just for that one piece like oh my god. ohhhh my god. the amount of times i have linked that to my friends and waxed poetic and maybe cried a little. ANYWAYS. i am about to be So Silly And So Disorganized

so here's the thing right?? it depends SO heavily on how you interpret lumine. the traveler definitely has their own personality and agenda ingame but there's still SO much wiggle room in terms of what you do with that. if i really wanted to i could probably make it a Lot More Accurate by focusing on the traveler in canon and going from there however i will in fact be completely ignoring that and focusing on my interpretation of lumi specifically light and love <3 <- thats my little disclaimer ANYWAYS

they are So Similar in a lot of ways. young adults who are also centuries old. stubborn bastards who would give their lives protecting those around them even if they got absolutely nothing in return. so quick to throw themselves into the line of fire for the sake of friends and strangers alike. such a strong instinct to protect. not mortal, not by a long shot, but not quite gods either, something uniquely inhuman and in between. a centuries worth of weight on their shoulders. reaching their breaking points and pushing further still, refusing to let themselves crumble. and, even with very close companions, i think they're very lonely. there's no one quite like xiao in teyvat, no one quite like lumine without aether there by her side- maybe no one quite like lumine at all, anymore.

i think its about sharing. i think they'd find it easy to talk with and be around one another, even though they're typically so slow and so careful with trust. i think fighting together comes as easily as breathing, that their urge to protect lines up perfectly with the others and leads to them doing so much for those around them as well as each other. they will not let the other fall. they share the weight on their shoulders, share the centuries of bloodshed and horrors seen and caused alike, share in the unique brand of loneliness that comes with knowing that where someone was once by your side there's no one like you left.

vulnerability does not come easily to any of them. they can always push themselves further, always be a little stronger, always run a little faster. but its exactly that, i think, the recognition of someone so like themselves that makes it easier for them to trust in one another. lumine can call xiao's name when she needs him, xiao can find lumine if he needs her. i think that for all they would shoulder the world on their own and know the other would do the same in a heartbeat, they trust one another to come to them when they need help. it would be so, so easy to ignore it, to press forward, to remain alone. but they made a promise, and they intend to keep it.

i like to imagine that lumine's presence has a purifying effect on xiao. something she could control and channel should she realize, but for now something small, just enough to ease that weight. just enough to make sure he won't succumb.

i think a big part of it is about learning how to live again. they both carry that weight, that stubborn mindset, but wanting to see the other happy helps. knowing the other understands helps. when it hurts they can breathe together, and the type of pain they feel may never truly go away but they dont have to experience it alone.

every snowflake, every sunrise, every flower is just a little bit different from the rest. xiao's favorite quiet places are nicer with her there. they live so very differently but lumine's teapot is always there and xiao is no longer bound by his contract, learning ever so slowly how to let himself go. they have spent so, so long surviving. now, though, they remember to taste the fresh air, learn to indulge in the smallest things. lumine experiments with recipes until her almond tofu is catered to xiao's tastes exactly, the perfect texture. at night in liyue xiao tells her stories of the constellations and she remembers every word, at night in the teapot lumine will lift a hand and the sky will match her memories, her turn to tell stories about stars he's never seen.

they are both so, so tired. and i think that they would trust the other enough to let themselves rest. you can put your strength down. im sitting here with you at the kitchen table. you dont need to say anything. <- that quote is so them for real its shared silences mutual understanding and comfort always having each other's backs its twin moons twin stars two beings caught in each other's orbit and choosing every day to stay. sitting side by side on the mountaintop, hands entwined, lumine's head on his shoulder. breathing. loving. living.

[recitedemise]

It isn't easy, Gale hopes she understands, baring himself in such a terrible way. It feels entirely too much as though he's stripping down his soul when they'd only just met. In fact, had he any say in the matter, even a whisper of a word, she can trust in her bones that he never would have come here. Wallowing and aching, he'd sooner have died.

Sooner have wasted. And sooner turned rot.

But in the whole of the world with its meandering people, it is now she of so few that have gleaned his heart.

To be honest, it might've been an honor were his folly, unsightly, a little less damning. As it were, he can't be anything else but another sad story. She is too young to take it, should be far from this store calming wounds and grief, but then, what age would befit her colossal burden? Perhaps there isn't one. And perhaps there's never been. But she's old enough, she argues, more a mother to her mother than her mother is hers, and this toiling life is all she knows, he thinks. Oh. "Unfortunately--" most tragically "--I was afraid you'd say that."

She's here to pacify. She's her own host of scars. She tuts and argues but she cares so immensely, and it's this kindness he hopes that she shows herself. Still, 'take' throws him off kilter, the wizard staring as her magic yet whirls in his marrow. Take, quite obviously, sounds so wildly selfish, and cowed, a bit ashamed, he smiles in turn. "Loathed am I to deny a witch her knowledge," he teases, "but, yes, considering what I know of this condition of mine, you'll find me rather partial to your observation. Simply being in my company won't deplete you of anything. That said, if I do somehow manage to wear down your graces, I may know a way or two to win them back."

Like...? Interesting gentleman, no? Gale smiles, his genial air most stunningly sincere. Naturally, he's preoccupied a great, great deal with this witch's comfort. He's burden aplenty, regrettably, already quite a pity among gossiping colleagues, so a world where he bothers both her and hers? Distantly, he feels her mother's pale Weave from the floor above. Well, if no one looks to her, he supposes he would. At the very least, should ever she offer him more than she should, he would warn her to end it. That is more than enough. "Were I a bolder a man--and believe me, I'm not exactly lacking in gumption--I'd say I just happened to stoke something dangerous in you. Honestly, I'm more than impressed with all that....verve of yours--" he says as his palm opens, hand gesturing to the whole of her "--but gods, do I appreciate your mesmerizing generosity. Know that were you and yours in any real danger, I never would have come. I won't allow you or those you care for to suffer for my mistakes. You needing to put on a sweater should be the worst of it."

She! Oh. She never means to turn him away. It's, um, silly, he supposes, but those had long been words he's only heard in his head. Gale smiles for the sound of them, the self-deprecation now finally dropped, and relieved and chuffed, Gale finds a warmth again in his bones. He sips his tea, full-bodied, and visibly laughs. "Ha. By all means, you'll find I'm quite confident in your hands. That said--" he looks to where she cups her drink "--yours are a little light right now. While you work on whatever it is you must to sate my hunger, I believe I can whet yours in turn. In addition to payment, I can offer you glimpses to all such magic that would steal your breath. The world of academia suffers with your absence, Callisto. I can feel your passion. She could benefit were you to indulge it. "

Her veins still feel icy, the tingle of it in her hand where their skin had connected. It was unlike anything she'd ever felt - the frozen void of him, so unlike the magic she's used to.

Worse still was the horror. The realisation. It's an unfortunately familiar feeling, the young witch rubbing over the scar on her chest absently as she considers. The flashes drifting at the edge of her consciousness of a book devouring him whole, sure to revisit her in the early hours of the morn.

"I'm not that young," Is the automatic response, before Callisto realises that he's talking about the store. Except she is that young - but having been left no choice but to take charge at an even younger age has meant the store has already been graced with nine or so years of her undivided attention (and makes her feel older than she should). So yes, the shelves mirror the feel of her, just like they did those before.

He means it as no affront, and she certainly doesn't take it that way (she does, especially, clock the continued flattery). The desolate, greedy thing leeching from any source it can find - she'd felt it, even in the brief moments they'd been connected. It does, however, spurn an idle thought for the other witch in the vicinity - Jupiter, mother of Callisto, a ghost-like presence in the apartment upstairs. "It only takes when you touch, right?" Not that Callisto thought Gale was doing any of this on purpose. No, it was plain to see how much the very idea of it carved pieces out of him, leaving him hollow - a shell of a man in well-kept robes. "Not that you will find any mediocrity here, but I like to know what I'm working with.

Because, she had told him she would help him, no? No.

Clearly, she'd gotten so swept up in her own convictions that she'd lapsed in actually giving them voice.

"I'm not worried about safety," This is, perhaps, a mite blunt, and a mite incorrect. "Or, I'm not worried that I'm unsafe with you. If this conversation has shown me anything besides your way with words and my need for an extra jumper," Her mouth twists in amusement at her own little joke - a display that (though it probably should), the ice-cold sheen under his skin and permeating the store doesn't scare her. "it's that you don't seem like the type to jump into things without consideration." A pause, during which she picks up her own tea, reheating it with the brush of her fingers against the chill of the room around them. She would do the same for him, of course, but doesn't want to presume that he can't do as much himself.

"And I was never going to turn you away. Not once I felt it." Because even against the despair, there's power there, and one of Callisto's key failings is that she's always been an unfathomably curious little thing. "Consider the tea a concession to letting me root around in there." Which isn't to say there's no matter of payment, but they'll get there in time.

[sugashook]

hes teaching wade how to be a hero by just being himself. and wade is like wow you're the best

when wade had nothing he was mostly focused on himself, not fixing anything, other people had to fix things for him a lil bit, or people got hurt because of him when they didn't have to.

logan has nothing, but he carefully listened to wade and saw wade and understood him.

but unlike the last movie he has to die fr like he used up cable's time travel for himself, he got vanessa in danger twice. he got the x force killed. he kinda stole cables family time from him.

but logan literally doesnt even have anything to sacrifice for, or to fight for, just like wade! and he's at peace with that and still so selfless. BUT logan has a higher purpose that is loving and taking care of mutants. wade has wade at number 1 kinda and saves people along the way (even if it is heroic it's everyone else hurt in the end except him)

now wade will manage to die, but without even anything waiting for him on the other side, he stopped being selfish. logan would have the x men waiting in heaven but wade would have no one. that's pretty scary....that's sacrifice and nobody would be hurt. :-)

wades hero wolverine kinda came to be his hero finally and show him temperance and love. BUT THEN wade showed wolverine love and temperance making the even greater sacrifice. becoming a true hero like wolverine!!

cassandra missed charles to teach her as her other half. and wade missed logan as his other half.

wade was like HELP THEM I CANT DO IT YOU DO IT. and then logan taught him how!!

[go6jo]

thinking what if there’s is an inherent selfishness in gojos selflessness when he says he wishes to raise sorcerers who are just as strong as he is. maybe its but a hopeful dream to be a little less lonely, to lift a weight off his shoulders. and maybe he doesnt even realize it and its an unconcious thing he hopes for.

being born the strongest sorcerer alive, he learned to rely on himself and his strenght and grew up with everyone around him relying on him too. even if he wanted to count on others to help him they would inevitably get in the way being weaker than him, he could never expect others to ever live up to his strenght.

i think thats why he said its a pain looking out for the weak. it is a pain to carry all that weight by himself all the time. it is a pain to have everyone rely on you. why must he be responsible for other peoples lives? thats an unimaginable burden to carry. can you imagine the guilt that comes from having someone trust your their life and you’re unable to save them? contrary to getous beliefs, maybe gojo thought that instead of shielding the weak from harms way, the weak should strive to become strong instead. to be independent. because, in the end, he never got that himself. he never got to depend on anybody else. (the only exception being geto) he never got to slack off, to sit back and wait for somebody to save him. and despite being born the strongest, he still continuously yearned to be better. i think that after amanai’s death he realized that although he’s strong he still hadnt achieved his full potential, he was the strongest just not as strong as he could possibly be. (and to answer getous question hes the strongest because hes gojo satoru!! he might have blamed himself for her death but he didn’t let that stop him. it fueled him!! maybe he had felt helpless back then losing to toji and perhaps that was a feeling which was unknown to him and he decided he never wanted to feel that way ever again.)

thats why i think that being a teacher suits him perfectly. he wishes to create sorcerers who are self suficient, he raises them to be on his level. as long as gojo is alive, there’ll always be those that think that if it ever came down to it, gojo would come to the rescue but, on the other hand there’ll be those who look up to him and wish to be like him. and thats gojos dream. and maybe if there are sorcerers who grow up to be just as strong as him, just as reliable, it would make the weight he has carried alone all these years by himself a little lighter. maybe they wont mind carrying a little of that weight themselves.

[saltyskeletonkidpasta]

Prepared to get backlash on this but I dont understand why anyone likes jack gibson? He Literally ruins EVERYTHING then doesnt even feel the need to apologise then just gets given the chance to swoop in and be the hero or the nice guy and people seem to fall for that?

He slept with andy in s1 knowing it was against the rules and they could've broken the whole teams trust, slept with maya knowing andy would probably be hurt and let maya take all the blame for that and didnt defend her or have the decency to explain to andy himself, went out of his way to make maya feel worse for crying after Ripley died all bc he found her tears "a little distracting" and just kept going even after she told him to stop making her feel worse, threw a hissy fit the entirety of s3 at her bc he was bitter abt being dumped and had no problem ganging up on her with andy as if he wouldnt have taken the job if he was offered it, broke the code and slept with his teammates wife multiple times despite knowing she was married and then when Rigo found out he continued to lie to his face like right before he died he said he didnt know (which he did after the first time), then after being given therepy by diane and the team forgiving him very easily and he was preaching abt how he was trying to be better then had absolutely no problem helping maya self sabotage her new rl despite him knowing she was in one and that she'd been abused by her dad and threw that in her face then didnt leave when he was asked then picked her up and took her to the bunk while maya was clearly emotionally distressed, thus making the exact same mistake again after the rigo and eva situation and after treating maya terribly all season and constantly whining abt how she chose her career over him as if she ever made any promises to him or did anything with him other than hook up then SHE was one to apologise to HIM, he didnt apologise to the team for breaking the code, or to carina for getting with her gf knowing she was with her.

Then got with inara after saying he wouldnt, who was previously abused in a relationship who he helped get out of. Broke the code AGAIN in S5 by making out with vic knowing she was with theo and didnt even apologise to him and told vic she could ruin her life and that he didnt care, the writers then gave him this redemption arc with helping set up the clinic, and giving people medical care which he is literally paid to do, and stripped carina of any dignity and turned her into his fan girl with that stupid donor crap, his motivation to be it wasnt at all abt helping out his friends all his reasons were selfish then he butted into everything, literally fetishised them and was straight up just creepy, then blurted out marinas private information to the first person he next saw (andy) without permission, then ditched the station without a word after Andy's charges literally JUST got dropped and leaving marina with absolutely no warning, also bailed on marsha who has basically been a mother to him, lied abt where he was to andy for like 3 months knowing how triggering lies were for her, was blatantly rude to maya and disclosed her private info AGAIN infront of vic, didn't even apologise to her for leaving or to andy for lying all carina got was "oh sorry by the way" then went with the victim complex. Everyone on the team showed up for him and tried to help him ben, vic and carina gave him advice rigo came back from THE DEAD for him and andy constantly bent over backwards trying to help him and she was met with rudeness.

He made maya's injury all abt himself and confided in her literal WIFE abt how hard it would be for HIM to lose her then didnt even ask if either of them were okay nor did he visit maya in the hospital, then when carina came back to the clinic he followed her around like a creep trying to peer into a private cubicle then started accusing her of all sorts and gossiped abt her to ben despite knowing she was going through such a difficult time as if he has any right to criticise given his track record and used the excuse that "he didnt want the family to fall apart" and said he'd do the same with ben and miranda which is just rude and not his place anyway and also that he'd "worked hard to be back there" when he really didnt he was instantly given his job back the second it was announced that maya was injured.

When he slipped and smacked his head in 6x14 he got a concussion he still went on the call and didnt tell anyone until he literally passed out in the beanery which if he had collapsed on the call he could've hurt himself even worse or left a team member exposed in a fire and got them hurt or even a civilian. Extremely irresponsible of a paramedic then was suprised it lead to permanent brain damage. Then when everyone tried to do something nice and throw him a party he was like "they are only doing this bc they are obliged to" like seriously? People on the team are constantly there for him and he is so coddled by them. He has marsha and his sisters yet still mopes around like "I have no one who cares abt me :(" I get hes been through alot but so has everyone else they dont whine nearly as much and some dont get half as much support as he does. He has made so many mistakes and has put in the least amount of effort to make up for them yet everyone still loves him? I dont get it..

Also I think the actor is so bad. I'm sure grey is a nice person and this is purely criticising acting capabilities. I literally can't watch his scenes without cringing. In the first 3 seasons I thought he was bland and emotionally stiff then after that it looked like he was almost trying to hard as his face was constantly twitching and eyes squinting, all his sentences were stuttery and couldn't get one out without an "uhhh", also his HANDS omg I particularly noticed this in S5 and a bit in s6 (however it looked like the directors made an effort to get him to tone it down after s5) WHY is he always flailing? They're constantly moving and it doesnt look natural AT ALL and it is SO distracting. I known for a fact that makes the editors lives so much more difficult bc that's hard to edit in post..and emotional range is not good. It never has been. If you pay attention pretty much all of the crying scenes he's has he covers his eyes. There is no tears. It doesnt seem like grey is very comfortable with doing them he doesnt really do it very well imo

[beatboxing-puppy]

saw some posts on this website discussing what sort of videogames the dunmeshi characters would play and i think everyone is wrong. everyone is wrong except for me so im going to spell out exactly who plays what. putting it under a read more because im going on a damn tangent.

Laios: He's not a gamer he does not play games on purpose he will only ever play video games when his friends ask him to join them in their multiplayer things. One day tho Falin told him about Monster Hunter and now thats the only thing he plays aside from Spore and he has sunk countless hours into that damn game. Also he probably has played Some pokemon but he doesnt like PLAYING it he just likes it in concept he knows the name of all the pokemon

marcille: people keep saying she would be a cosy gamer playing animal crossing and stardew and other cute games ^-^ its so lalalaaaa NO!!!!!!! no she does not. Marcille plays games that stress her out on purpose marcille plays overwhelming micromanagey games like lobotomy corporation and rimworld and etc. She also likes games with deep lore and mysteries to discover. The only thing that doesn't fit in this category that she plays is Minecraft shes always in there CREATIVE MODE building virtual dungeons and other crazy shit. Also she plays on her work laptop with trackpad ok

Chilchuck: This one is for me. This one im just basing off my own dad ok. Chilchuck used to be a hardcore gamer in his youth but specifically he was playing stuff like world of warcraft and old school runescape he had really big setups so he could run several instances of the game at once on all his alt accounts so he could beat a boss by himself and he was really good at it. But then he had kids and didnt have time for this sort of thing so he stopped playing videogames aside from occasionally helping his daughters beat a super hard mario level. Later in life he probably discovered some shitty little low-commitment phone game like pokemon go or pikmin bloom or some daily sudoku puzzle thing and he plays it every day but its not that big a deal. He has been pressured by his friends and daughters to make a roblox account but he hasnt played it at all.

Senshi: THIS guy is the one that plays animal crossing. He logs in when he can but hes not on that every day grind. Also he doesnt play the newest one he doesnt play horizons he plays one of the DS ones. Wild world probably. He either doesn't like or doesn't know about the nintendo switch. Whenever one of his villagers say that they want to leave he'll nod solemnly and say smth like "Well... I suppose it'd be selfish to ask ye to stay, friend... Just promise me you'll stay safe and never forget me... Go and explore the world. Wish ye the best." Plus his island would be covered in weeds. He also has some mobile games he enjoys angry birds and candy crush and crosswords (gotta keep the brain in shape!) but other than that he doesn't videogame much because he prefers board games and tabletop stuff he isnt too jazzed about all this modern technology plus a console or a laptop and all that gaming equipment is a lot to lug around and hes a nomad he would NOT have that shit

Falin: Now FALIN is the cosy gamer. kind of. Falin plays animal crossing new horizons sometimes and has fun making a bad island on purpose. Very mildly "bad" tho the worst she'll do is use the drawing feature to hide a giant penis on the beach or whatever. Or she'll give her villagers silly outfits. She also plays minecraft (either skyblock or she makes a new world and explores and builds a couple houses and then forgets about it and makes another new world) and roblox (likes 'trolling' strangers by dressing up funny and acting kind of strange in roleplay servers but she's never actually mean or anything.) But the big thing she likes is story-driven indie rpgmaker games. She's the person who will say shit like "Yeah I played Blums Booglies the quest for Big Dinners and it was so good I cried for 9 hours" completely unironically.

kabru: social gamer like laios but the games he plays on purpose are the sims (he likes to cause them problems) and online multiplayer games (he likes to peoplewatch). I can also see him doing absurd and tortrous challenge runs of games like No items no pokecenter one type hardcore nuzlockes. im correct

izutsumi: ACTUALLY trolls people on roblox. And she plays needlessly gory flash games. Maybe she calls people dumbfucks over valorant voice chat sometimes

[mintaikk]

Moments I Think Blitzø Realized His Feelings for Stolas, Part 3: Stolas's Chains

Imma just go in backwards order ig. Part 1, Part 2

Truth Seekers is what made me say, "Okay, fine, I ship it!" After denying it for 5 episodes. There so much juicy Stolitz stuff and Blitzø angst to analyze! Many people have done this already, but goddammit, I want a piece of the cake too! Won't analyze the hallucination though, that's veen done enough. But I'll analyze some parts!

Throughout the entire hallucination, Blitzø is being pushed around by the people he's had a romantic or sexual connection with in the past. Moxxie insults him and berates him the entire time, and we know he has sexual feelings for Moxxie (I feel like Millie isn't here because she's never shown hostility to Blitzø, so he doesn't see her as 'bad. Edit: It's bcuz he finally found a friend he doesnt want to fuck im so happy for him 🥺'). Fizz is here making fun of him, and thst was his childhood friend who he had a crush on, but it ended horribly (💌🎂🕯🔥). Verosika is his ex girlfriend and drags him around and gets into his face calling him "a selfish shitty shit fuck." Striker is there as well calling out Blitzø's lies to himself about wanting to do things alone, and that fits well because he asked Striker to join IMP, and we know he had some attraction to him. The point is, everyone in the hallucination is someone he has been attracted too, and they're all including him and dragging him around against his will.

But then we see Stolas and all the insults and berating stops. He simply just asks, "Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?"

This is the only person Blitzø actually goes towards. He runs up the stares, trying to escape everyone else. Why? For comfort? Because they were there? Or because he wanted to go to Stolas?

He looks at Stolas in awe, with his eyes wide and gasping. And then he starts crawling towards him.

At first, he willingly crawls up the stares. He looks tired and energy drained, but he doesn't look angry. Maybe a bit nervous, but not angry. But as he gets closer, chains appear around him, and Stolas uses them to bring him closer. But he doesn't fight these chains. I looked up some symbolism, and apparently, chains can symbolize "eternal love and human connection" (from gatsbyjewllery.co.uk). But they also symbolize feeling trapped. I think this shows that Blitzø feels trapped by his emotions for Stolas, and like he's powerless against them. He's falling again, despite how his past relationships turned out, but he's still doing it again. And he's powerless against it.

Look at him! He's not having a good time! He looks surprised and hurt and frustrated, but he still goes along with Stolas, because while Stolas is pulling him closer, Blitzø isn't struggling and still goes to him. I think it's multiple things here. He feels like he has to do it for the book, but it also goes back to his emotions again, and feeling powerless against them, and feeling powerless when he's with Stolas.

Look at him. In the first image, he just looks nervous while Stolas holds a hand over his collar. But then, when Stolas tightens it, Blitzø starts blushing and looks both nervous and embarrassed. He's embarrassed because he likes it, and he has feelings for Stolas, but he also feels like a pet or a plaything. He's scared for the same reasons he's embarrassed; he likes it. If he likes it, that's a dangerous slope of falling again, but then leaving Stolas fucked up, and Stolas will see how much of a terrible person he is.

Ah, then my favorite part. The ✨️festhers✨️

Everyone in the drug trip dissappears, with Stolas (and Moxxie) disappearing into golden feathers. I think the gold feathers at this point symbolize the truth, which is why both Moxxie and Stolas disappeared with gold feathers. They've been calling him out on all the emotions he had buried, so of course they're the ones that change. But then, instead of going in the weird tornado thing, Stolas's feathers cling onto him.

In the first picture, Blitzø is just noticing the feathers. He looks annoyed and angry and disgusted ("ew, feelings"). The chains are still on him, but without the actual chains. I'm sure that means something, but I can't figure it out. Maybe symbolizing hisblingering emotions??

In the second image, he's now aware of the feathers that are there and is actiey swatting them away. He's grimacing and hunched over, clearly feeling vulnerable, angry, and scared.

By this image, the feathers have taken over most of his body. He looks confused and angry about it, and they're covering his mouth. He holds his hands up like he doesn't want to even touch them.

And by the last image, the feathers have fully taken over his body, and he's screaming in pain. If the feathers symbolize truth, and one of his truths is his feelings for Stolas, the feathers are his true feelings wrapping around his body until he can no longer ignore or handle them.

Later after the trip ends he says, "I have delt with one two many emotions for tonight, let's fuck these fuckers up!" There he goes, ignoring his emotions again with violence or sex.

This was supposed to be a short series, but my god, there is a lot more.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Lila remakes the universe. She is now the Ladybug Hero. Unbeknownst to her, Adrien and Marinette are the new evil wielders of the Butterfly and Peacock, but they aren't reclusive like Gabriel in their civilian lives.

Wisher's Remorse

-Through a genius Plan that involved Manipulating Gabriel/Monarch. A double knock out of Monarch and Ladybug+Chat noir.

-Lila danced across the field and scooped up the Ladybug and Cat miraculous. A smile on her face as she goes to make her wish

-Marinette and Adrien unable to respond. Gabriel unable to stop her. Lila made her wish.

___________________________________________________________

-Lila Rossi, Billionaire daughter, Movie Star Actress, Top of her Class, and above all, Super Heroine of Paris.

-Lila crafted a world where she was the center of everything. And Her Heroine Identity, The Incredible Signora Rossa.

-Lila was loving it! Her Parents showered her in attention and gifts whenever she wanted. Everyone wanted to hear her talk. Interviews, lavish lunches, and the best part was she didnt even need to put effort in.

-Marinette was basically her Sabrina. Loyal and obedient. (Lila had apparently helped save her parents failing bakery)

-Adrien was her boyfriend, sweet and attentive. (His father had it arranged.)

-She also had some hero side kicks that would help with all the grunt work of heroing, so that she could go in and take the good parts.

-Lila was enjoying her life, until there was a super villain attack.

-Lila thought it would be easy, since this was her world now. Though her Kwami Tikki was trying to warn her about something.

-It wasnt just one villain, it was two. The Butterfly Miraculous and The Peacock. And both of them were... Incredibly competent.

-Signora Rossa called on all her Allies (Side Kicks) for help.

-But the duo was Decimating them. The fighting skill easily outclassed her. And Signora's lucky charm only helped her escape. (Because her mindset is not on protecting people, but getting what she wants.)

-After Signora Rossa Fled, The peacock villain was annoyed. "She escaped. "

-The Butterfly Villainess smiled. "Dont worry my Lovely Feather, she left us a gift."

-The Peacock Villain smiled as he picked up the villainess Bridal style before leaving.

-Unfortunately for Rossa, two of her side kicks were captured. The Tiger and the Pig. Both their miraculous taken as trophies. Content for the time they left.

-Lila detransformed yelling at tikki what went wrong.

-"This is my world! I should have won."

-"The wish doesnt work like that. Your selfish wish changed so many things, the universe created a counter balance. You are a 'Hero' in this world that may have a great life, but there has to be a counter. Those villains that beat the stuffing out of you without even using their powers. Thats your counter balance. Its fitting, I hope you lose."

-Lila growled at her kwami before telling tikki to shut up. She was not going to lose to these villains. This was her world, and they were just living in it.

[mellohiizz]

Heh.... guess whos back to yap even more.... (its glitchduo anon) if this is too long and you dont want to reply thats totally cool however i saw you were interested in ashs character and i just HAD to assist...

(Everything neg here is about the characters not ccs btw, most of it is /aff anyways :3)

Ok so im assuming you know the general gist of s4 which is kind of all i know about it aside from like one or two vods ive fully watched. You also probably know about swagdoons which are the enemies to lovers (sometimes) of lifesteal and they try to kill each other but kiss afterwards..... they are the yaoi ever but ill try to be less insane about them to keep this rant focused

most of my REAL info about ash is from mid s5 and s6 which is when i started watching streams more than the videos, however i know he tries to portray himself as the big scary villain in s4 but honest to god he was apologizing PROFUSELY for the smallest things that guy is NAWT a truly heartless villain although he is pretty selfish and greedy but. Well:

before getting into his character i thought he like fully hated everyone, would never try to help someone else, was a general asshole etc etc but the more i paid attention to him the more i realized that yeah i guess he is those things but there is at least one person he gives a shit about (squiddo) and by god does he care a LOT about her

he also is pretty pathetic actually.... when his peace thing in s5 didnt work out he immediately went back to trying to be evil and selfish in s6... hmm its almost like he reverts back to hating everyone before they think hes a loser hmmm... its also really funny because this guy can BARELY pvp so he's very all or nothing on his dramatic gestures (eg he cant take over the server with pvp so he does it with the wormhole which imo is 500% more impressive, although i dont know very much about pvp)

despite him being pathetic he is def a force to be reckoned with, hes very idle until provoked and the provokation is usually out of spite and malice but that guy will stop at Nothing to get what he wants once he has a good enough motive (and doesnt have collage work)

he also gives me false god vibes but like... hes sort of AWARE hes a false god but does not want to admit it At All. i think its really interesting that the season after he became god he was made a host for a god (he actually confirms hes possesed by the commisioner/overseer/lifesteallord when he talks as them btw absolutely wild) and i think it would be cool if that was intentionally to like. Humble him. Show him a real god, not just an immortal guy with flying powers

(This is a little more of a headcanon but i think its feasable) i think that since his s5 loss, being his first major loss in any season ever, hes lost a sense of self in lifesteal, sitting in his house thats too big with empty walls and emptier reasoning. not to mention hes teamless and his only ally/friend is squiddo and thats not even official 😭😭

so yeah my guy is Going Through It... someone get this man hot chocolate and a warm blanket or maybe a picnic with his Best and Only Friend 🙁🙁

(Oh yea if you want a general idea of s5 onwards and dont have time for streams or really long cinematic videos i would recommend squiddos videos on it, theyre rarely over 15-20 minutes and there are only seven right now so you can get through them in a few days if you're REALLY crunched for time ^_^)

hello again glitchduo anon!! giggles i kind of know some general lore?? but mostly out of things i see on here about it, or like clips/vods i'm able to watch when i have time? so yeah... ash's character is very interesting to me, and honestly, what you said about him aligned pretty well with what i did see of him, but like... not in lifesteal, but the character he played in spoke's unstable videos. bro was literally begging for attention and alliance, and then turned around and BOOM twist villain jumpscare he's actually evil... he was acting off the whole time (ignoring mapicc, probably because he knew mapicc was harder to manipulate, and being very obnoxious about getting close to spoke in particular), so that checked out (sorry, i can yap about unstable for so long, im so insane about it) but yeah, i really really enjoy watching him do his thing, and i want to study him in a lab like a weird microorganism or something definitely was getting the false god vibes too btw from i did see of him in lifesteal (which was mostly just other people's vods) actually the whole being host of a god sounds so interesting?? that's definitely the first time i heard about something like this and i love everything having to do with possessions and stuff like that definitely one of the top characters i actually want to know more about (second close is minutetech i'd say) and don't worry, i really like reading what you send in, it actually helps a lot and it's very interesting!! the moment i opened my inbox and saw a lot of text i was like "oh yeah i know who this is from" (/hj/aff btw) thank you for taking the time to give me more knowledge i guess :33 !!

[stevie-petey]

speaking of jon, can we get a blurb of how he was feeling when bug fell at the house and almost died by the demogorgon? i know that guy was close to tears

YES YES YES I CAN ABSOLUTELY DO THIS BLURB ANON

enjoy <3

"bug-" one second you're beside jonathan, the next you're on the ground, clutching your ankle. when jonathan realizes this, he feels the world stop. "bug!"

he starts to scream, tries to go and help you up, but a hand grabs at his jacket, stopping him. jonathan, blind with fear and rage, screams at the person holding him back. "no, let go of me! i have to help her, nancy!"

the monster stalks closer to you, and jonathan watches as you try to stand up but only fall back down. youre in pain. he can see it all over your face, the way you scrunch your eyebrows together as your lips quiver.

he has to help you.

jonathan cannot let you die.

youre the only person who puts up with his bullshit, who can take his shitty days and make them into his favorite days. youre his best friend, the first person who ever paid any attention to him. hes based everything about himself around you. his kindness is an extension of yours, his intellect is a result of yours, his humor a connection of you.

but youre on the ground in pain and nancy is holding jonathan back and the monster is inches away from your face.

even if jonathan breaks free from nancys grasp now, he'll never make it in time. you seem to know this too, and jonathan watches as you nod at nancy, accepting your fate as if this makes any of this okay, and jonathan just wants you back in his arms where nothing can ever hurt you ever again.

he loses his voice, screaming your name repeatedly. he cant do anything. he cant fucking do anything.

all jonathan can do is watch as you brace for your own death, the death that he caused. jonathan byers, the boy born from selfishness and greed, is what kills y/n henderson in the end.

the monster bends down, gets ready to lunge, and jonathan forces himself to look away. he cant watch. sobs wrack his body, he thinks hes about to die alongside you.

then, in a flash, steve harrington has his arms wrapped around you and carries you towards jonathan and nancy.

the second he sets you down, jonathans body collides against yours. his hands are everywhere. they sprawl all over your back, your sides, your head, your arms. every part of you that he can touch, jonathan does.

youre alive.

youre alive.

"bug." the nickname falls like a prayer from his lips. jonathan has never believed in a god, but he does believe in threads attaching everyone to each other.

and his thread connecting to you hasnt been severed yet.

your fingers find their way to jonathans hair and you tell him its okay. you soothe him and jonathan only then realizes that hes shaking. your body heat presses against him, a reminder that youre alive, and jonathans head buzzes with concern.

"did it hurt you, are you bleeding?" jonathans hands continue to run all over your body, if he misses any sign of injury then he'll never forgive himself. "there should be a first aid kit-"

you grab his hands and kiss jonathans knuckles. your lips, so familiar against his skin after years of being soothed this way, settle something within jonathan. the kiss seep into his bones, spreading throughout his body, and slowly hes able to breathe again.

"im fine, just twisted my ankle. if you help me up, im sure i'll be able to stand again."

jonathan helps you up in a heartbeat. you lean against him and he wraps an arm around your waist. youre still here. he has to remind himself of this. youre alive and thats all that matters.

but you almost died tonight.

jonathan had just almost lost you.

your hair is a mess, your shirt us torn and stained with your blood from earlier, and your ankle is the size of a balloon and yet jonathan thinks youve never looked more beautiful.

jonathan doesnt realize hes staring at you until you turn away, your cheeks flushed, and he hates the way his stomach drops. hes made you uncomfortable again, crossed some invisible line, but jonathan is so fucking tired of lines.

what matters is that youre alive.

your hand is in his, and jonathan knows that no matter what happens next, hes never letting go of you ever again.

youre his and hes yours. threads and lines and strings in all.

[ultimateplaylistmaker]

What do you headcanon the PreGame Cast`s personalities were like?

just like every other thing ive thought longer then five seconds about, i have a google doc about it

Now I don't have ideas for everyone but here's the sum up of who I do have figured out

Kokichi

God complex manipulator who believes himself to be the only person truly alive, he acts sweet and caring to get what he wants, and will entice people into bullying him to then leverage it for pity or blackmail, cares incredibly deeply about his appearance and how people perceive him and only lets down his guard to animals as he finds them inherently better then people due to actually making sense

Shuichi

Is rather manic and touch starved and has a lot of sexual and violent intrusive thoughts, however he is self aware of what a mess he is and trying to make sure he never actually hurts someone, very clever but heavily hindered by a low attention span, Tired and just wishes he could be a normal person and not this obsessive freak (his words)

Kaito

Very bitter thanks to his chronic lung disease draining his family's money, rather apathetic to the world, likes to avoid getting involved in things but he cant help but push into a situation when it gets serious, temper, thinks the previous people who played the game are Selfish Cowards because he bets if someone with a doctor ultimate actually used that damn talent he wouldn't be in this mess

Maki

BIG Guro fan, epitome of cute quiet shy girl who you look over the shoulder of and see she's drawing detailed gore, craves excitement, finds most other people annoying but doesnt really hold it against them, used to self harm before Kaito stopped her and became one of her only friends, was kinda manipulated into joining the game by staff at her orphanage

Kaede

Apathetic and horny, copes with her depression through adrenaline and said horniness, has a secret soft spot for kind people as theyre a rare breed and she thinks its endearing and cute not that she'd ever say it, good ear for tone

Kirumi

Parentification personified, basically the mom to her younger siblings because her parents are terrible and she hates her siblings, desperately wants to have a life outside of having to be the mom of her family, the stress has turned her aggressive and snappy refusing to listen to anyone else and fighting anyone who gets in her way, her grades are plummeting because she has to do All the chores and she doesn't have time to study or even do homework some nights

Rantaro

A little sexist in that way where he doesnt mean to be sexist but he kinda buys into the whole chivalry sexism of having to take care of women, the only thing he hates more then being a leader is someone else trying to be the leader, after his first game and learning he'll be put in a second one he starts breaking laws to try and get into jail to get out of it, feels like hes weak and pathetic for being traumatized after his game and having to have bodyguards.

[mooifyourecows]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Sure! (given in no particular order)

1. Daichi from Haikyuu, of course.. I just love everything about him. He's a great captain and he has a big appetite and he's so down to earth and masculine in the best ways, what a man!!! I want a tattoo of him on my body!

2. Pam Poovey from Archer. It's hard to stand out in a show where nearly every character is the single most interesting person in the world but I really do think that Pam takes the cake. She's a real one. She stays true to herself no matter how much everyone else begs her to stop and I RESPECT THAT. Also she's a fat character who isn't limited to being the Fat Character. While her weight does come up, often in insulting jokes or bits, she has so much else to her that it feels like such a small part of her character.

3. Princess Carolyn from Bojack Horseman. Out of all the insanely good character arcs in Bojack Horseman, Princess Carolyn's is my favorite. Usually the hardworking career woman character who wants a baby winds up the most disappointing character for me because she always gives up her career to be a mom but NOT MY GIRL PRINCESS CAROLYN. She said I want to be a badass boss lady AND a mom and I don't need no man to get what I want! And she did that shit. She deserves it.

4. Linda Belcher from Bob's Burgers. I aspire to be like Linda. She's fun, she's extroverted, she is just so excited to live her modest life with a struggling burger business, a husband she actually enjoys spending time with, and 3 kids she adores with every fiber of her being. She sings and dances at any given opportunity and doesnt let embarrassment faze her. What an icon.

5. Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings. Every time I think of him I wanna cry. He's just so.... perfect.... and wonderful.... He is the sweetest, bravest man to ever exist and NOBODY CAN ARGUE. The original Ride or Die. We all need a Samwise Gamgee in our lives. 🖤

6. Usopp from One Piece. That's my boy! He's so funny and relatable. I love characters who are brave while being terrified. Despite his wacky goofy personality, he's complex and insecure but he stands by his guns and isn't afraid to challenge even his best friend/captain to defend what he believes and GOSH what a stand up guy ammiright?

7. Eleanor Shellstrop from The Good Place. I love a disaster of a woman. She's a selfish bisexual with zero shame, what's more to love? I just can't help it. I'm weak for women who are just The Worst ™️.

8. Manny from Swiss Army Man. I mean... He's dead, he teaches us what it means to be alive, and he's played by Daniel Radcliffe. He's basically the perfect character, right? Listen, Swiss Army Man is my all time favorite movie and I want everyone else to like it too. I can't even talk much on it because it's so much better when you watch it yourself. Especially if you love amazing soundtracks, beautiful visuals, and queer revelations.

9. Hal from Malcolm in the Middle. I'm such a sucker for husbands who are obsessed with their wives and men in touch with their emotions and Hal is the epitome of both those things! I watched this show while growing up and I truly think that Bryan Cranston's portrayal of Hal taught me how men are supposed to act, especially in regards to their romantic partners. And now my own partner is basically a less theatrical version of him so it paid off ya know?

10. Judas Iscariot from Jesus Christ Superstar (1973). This is mainly based on performance. Carl Anderson did such an AMAZING job playing Judas that he literally stole the show, imo. Jesus who? You mean Judas's boyfriend? It's not JUST his performance though, the way the character is written is so well done that I feel like Judas is the real main character. Yeah, this is the story about Jesus but he ain't the star, ya dig? He's a basic bitch in comparison to the complexity and emotional turmoil of Judas. Also they're gay and in love, what a tragedy! This is cinema!

[iwasbored777]

so ur trolls posts got me to watch trolls world tour again. i remembered liking it but i couldnt remember why, but now i know for sure

I FCUKING LOVE TROLLS WORLD TOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL THE INCREDIBLE WRITERS WERE SECRETLY ON TROLLS 2 !!!!!!’n

I CANT TBINK OF A SINGLE FLAW IN TROLLS WOULD TOUR!!!!!!!

i was NOT expecting a brilliantly written masterpiece about colonialism, but thats what i got, and its going in the greatest of all time hall of fame in my brain forever.

im not gonna sit here and regale you on the message of the movie. they only said fax, no printer, and its an important message to send kids. alot of the messages kids get about races and borders is “we are all the same 😚” but they came in with the “we are NOT the same and that is both good and bad, both exciting and dangerous so you need to be aware of dangerous ideas of “harmony”” and thats so real. kids need to understand differences are OK.

i love how they backed off the “chosen one” vibe poppy had in the first movie and talked about her flaws as a leader. while her stubborness was a good thing in the first movie to contrast branches pessimistic nature, it wouldnt have worked here, and i can see a cheap writer (like m*chael w*ldron) either insisting she gets away with her selfishness and carrying on with the happy ending anyway, or pretending that wasnt a character trait at all (because w*ldron doesnt watch the first movie and writes a sequel anyway)

my favorite scene is the bubble scene and the woods right after they leave funk where branch confronts poppy. do i even need to tell you why?

i just want to mention it because im pretty sure branch sings a cover of “girl crush” by little big town, which is a country band, and branch said he likes country music earlier and that slays. but when poppy comes in, what they sing is definitley not girl crush, and i cant tell if its giving “trolls can mix music” or im completley wrong and its a different song alltogether. but i cant tell if that song is homophobic or is super gay, so if im wrong thats prob for the best.

the only flaw i can think of is the country music, as a midwestern i can confidently say that was an affront to real blue grass country music. i guess born to die “works” but it didnt represent country as well as the other genres did. theres alot of controversy in the country music fandom with alot of singers who sound exactly the same and produced like its a factory line. but even if people still think miranda lambert and carrie underwood arent true country singers, their songs wouldve worked better than born to die. also the country trolls shouldve been on a self sufficient farm instead of the wild west. that wild western jazzy piano and country music isnt the same.

the only bad part about the movie is that it ended and barb ATE. SHE LEFT NO CRUMBS WITH THAT INTRO. send ask.

Lol I love your review. I love Trolls World Tour a lot too and all their other movies. Great stuff.

And yeah I love Poppy and how she can accomplish A LOT but she doesn't make it on her own, she needs character development and help from others just like everyone else. Characters are surprisingly realistic.

Barb really was goat, the best antagonist in the franchise. I love parallels between her and Poppy, how both had different intentions (Poppy wanted to help and Barb wanted to conquer) but Poppy's method was also wrong and both Poppy and Barb and everyone had to make compromises for all tribes to live in harmony because no one has to change their lifestyle for that to happen, all they have to do is accept that they're different and that's perfect. Just be yourself and let others be themselves.

That song in the end (Just Sing) slaps hard (and so does Can't Stop The Feeling btw).

P.S. Tiny Diamond fucking slays 🔥🔥🔥

[placeinthisworld]

i am relating to SO much of what im reading on ur blog rn. do not get me wrong - i LOVE ttpd and love taylor. it's kind of one of those things that's like "always have, always will." im always going to be so grateful for her work and this community, and as i said - i AM loving the music rn!

BUT. she feels different, and feels so far away. i know we are not owed her time or attention, but when you've built your entire brand on fan connection and being "different" than any other celebrity in that regards, it's going to feel off and unexpected when it suddenly stops with no explanation. most of her little interaction is on tiktok, which is half the time not with actual fans, but rather anyone who uses her song in the background (which a lot of times is influencers!) ppl say "yeah but now she does so much more for us" .... yeah... so many new THINGS to buy.

i also think she's at a place where she KNOWS she is on top of the world rn (good for her!) but it has come with a complex - she knows now she doesnt NEED to be close with her fans, doesnt NEED to use her platform for good, doesnt NEED to take constructive criticism - because the gp likes her enough to where she doesn't even need a strong centralized fanbase. as of rn, no opposition can make a dent in her fame or income and she knows it. and it feels icky, and honestly makes her feel less human (which is interesting, because the ttpd is imo some of the most raw humanlike work)

the new social circle is off too. i dont hate travis, and i was happy for her, but have come to like him less and less since realizing he's a bit sleazy and is kind of only liberal for pay. he's publicly made r*pe jokes and xenophobic comments in the past couple years (NOT from 15 year old tweets! recent!) his dad is also super transphobic and mahomes brother is a charged SAer yet taylor gallavants w both of them. travis just seems like an oaf and while im glad she had something more easy and fun, it's telling that there's been a lack of backlash towards him when he's exhibited the same behavior as matty and the only things taylor could write ab him were sports and high school references. i hate to even touch on her personal life like this but god forbid this is a forever thing :/ omg this is a lot but yeah im glad we're having this convo

yup!! bestie your feelings are so valid and i feel very very similarly about everything!!

she knows she doesn’t need to appeal to a niche audience of tween girls anymore. she knows she’s beyond that. fate worked its magic and now she’s america’s it girl without any of drama of having to censor her work. and while yes i’m very proud and happy for her, you’re exactly right, she’s more than happy to continue to push things for us to buy in order to feel close to her. she’s already established a group of life long fans by those who she’s interacted with, invited to things, sent money too etc. so she really doesn’t have to do anything else besides make more music and have the world speculate about her personal life. at the end of the day she just feels sooooo disconnected to us now, compared to how we used to have it at least.

ugh i knew icky meathead was sleazy without even needing taylor to bring him into the limelight but now everyone and their mom is obsessed and up his ass too. EVEN with all those gross things about him (we all saw the recent commencement speech excuse 🤢) he’s definitely democratic for pay. i definitely don’t think he’s gonna stick around forever, either he’ll fuck up and get caught w another girl or she’ll get bored of his ass (speculating that this is a legit relationship and not PR at least lol) she’s a girl that needs a new boy every now and then i fear.

generally i’m just disappointed in her now in a lot of aspects. but completely disconnecting from the world, acting like a whole ass genocide is not actively happening, only ever promoting of talking about herself or her own work just seems so bland and selfish. she’s mentioned voting like what, twice this year? in generic ghost written sentences on an IG story?

[zapsoda]

aUGH you talked about bax's and babygirl's i mean. roy's bad eyesight. does anyone else have an likewise handicap or disability? also what's their weakspot for each one of them ... both physically and mentally if you want to write even moar words hehe

ofc!!

as previously mentioned bax has shit eyesight. hes also a bit mentally ill (lack of survival instincts), and while that can be beneficial when in dangerous situations where he needs to act effectively and expediently it can also be VERY DISADVANTAGEOUS. for obvious reasosn. what would the crew do without him? when hes constantly getting injured and incapacitated?

roy has her weird eyesight, and she has kind of the opposite of bax's problem. shes pretty anxious and has trouble acting and making quick decisions. she doesnt really like getting into *serious* trouble (she likes silly stuff and pranks and goofs though), anyways this makes it harder for her to step in when someone needs help.

clam *is* a runaway government android and so basically anything that isnt healing or surveillance is antithetical to what he was programmed for which is bad for everyone. he wants so badly to deviate and cultivate more of an identity but its gotta be just one step at a time, while roy and the others help him reprogram his body and brain bit by bit. which sucks. he wants physical agency Now.

tallys lack of horns and low-ppointing fin rays would land him very low in his home planets sort of caste system. not like. homestuck per se, its less ingrained and more socially enforced. on a dangerous planet where community contribution holds a lot of social weight, being physically weaker, lacking parental skills or instincts, and being kind of selfish on top of all of that made him very. not liked. this is part of the reason kip feels so responsible for him and overly protective.

anyways hes kinda internalized it. every single crumb of attention and validation sends his ego to the moon (metaphorically). he is torn between accepting a low place in life and society "everyone hates me, why should i change that" and desperately trying to prove his worth to anyone who will listen. yaaay mentla illness mwah (i kiss him on the forehead)

kip is the opposite of tally. he has horns. his fin rays point straight up. hes big and strong. he can hunt and protect. hes kind of tender and paternal. hes generally well respected. and he left all that. with his "nephew."

hes used to the expectation of taking care of everyone, protecting them, making sure nothing goes wrong. so he overcorrects. he comes off a bit controlling, though he normally channels this through his cooking. its like a healthy outlet, where he has control over everything as long as everyone stays OUT of his FUCKING kitchen.

hes also very slow to learn and a bit stubborn (though he tries very very hard to work on this)

hes honestly very stable and good at keeping himself together unless He were to be the one hurt and or in trouble ahahaha. he would not handle that. he would go crazy. the thought of being the one to need others makes him ill.

he is so fucking awkward around clam and its for two reasons. 1. dont wanna break him, unfamiliar object, not sure how the best way to proceed 2. stop trying to help me stop leave me alone you sick vermin

deep down he loves clam though cause he feels like theyre the same. "this weird animate object is just like me fr" he admires clams instinct to help others a lot eheheheh.

[spacedlexi]

hbo tlou spoilers (and the game too) just rambling to myself bc i gotta get these thoughts out of my head

feeling.. conflicted about that episode still. wasnt gonna say anything but im a little bit nervous about how joel and ellie are being handled at this point just like overall

ellie to a lesser extent i just feel like shes a little.. one note almost (they gave her the joke book and she had some nice moments with sam at least). theyre just playing so hard into the spitfire side of her but game ellie was way sweeter and kinder than i think people remember? when i started my re-playthrough even i forgot how like.. chill she was honestly. a lot of her anger was reactionary/in defense and not always just immediately antagonistic. hbo ellie needs more softness to her its starting to annoy me a bit how just outright hostile she is to literally everyone

but in joels case.. the changes they made this episode honestly i feel were detrimental to his character development. they make it seem like joel asking tommy to take ellie is more about the fact that hes aging and hes afraid hes going to get ellie killed, so he needs tommy to take her because he has a greater chance of making it back. and they side step a bit the selfishness of joels request. when in the game it was SOLEY about joels selfishness and how he could tell he was starting to feel protective of/close to ellie and wanted to stop that shit immediately by passing her off to tommy so he could just wash his hands of the whole thing (which would also put tommy at risk and maria chews him out for it (which i wouldve liked to have seen in the show but alas...)). and the argument he and ellie get into (after she runs away!!) is supposed to be the culmination of those feelings and how hes pushing her away and hes afraid of being a dad again (im NOT your dad. and we are going our separate ways). but ultimately chooses to stay with ellie and that choice is SO IMPORTANT!! and now in the show its like... ok so... now youre Not afraid of.. getting her killed? because you STILL have a bad ear and ptsd? (that he wouldve had for a while anyway so honestly its a little funny theyre playing it up so hard all of a sudden him clutching at his chest all the time is just kinda funny to me again where is the subtlety i dont see it). and like with this change it makes their argument (and their reconciliation) less powerful honestly to me at least. that argument they have is seared into my brain its still one of my favorite scenes but i just wasnt feeling it as much with this different set up of events (and also imo the game still has the better actor performances PLEASE watch those scenes if you havent)

and this side stepping of joels selfishness as a character is honestly a problem for me. and im afraid what it might mean for future episodes. because joels selfishness is very integral to his character. knowing what i do about whats coming down the line, and how theyve been talking about the “cure” so far, im so 😬 just clenching my teeth so hard. because they just... keep saying every once in a while that “there can never be a cure making a cure would be hard how would you even manufacture and distribute it?” (squinting REAL HARD AT THAT LAST ONE!!) and im soooo nervous that they might downplay just how much of a selfish asshole joel is and how they might try to make his future actions less terrible.... or justify them in some way..... or something equivalent to downplaying what happens..... 

i mentioned it a while ago but these are arguments the fans have been having since summer 2013 but what annoys me about it is that none of it even matters!!! because the Only thing that matters is joels selfish choice. not whether hes right or wrong. the ambiguity is the whole point!! the selfishness is the whole point!! joel doesnt care and hes gonna do whatever he thinks is necessary regardless of the repercussions. and i am just so afraid theyre gonna undercut that. I HOPE THEY DONT IM CROSSING MY FINGERS SO HARD THAT THEY DONT WE CAN CELEBRATE IF THEY DONT but sometimes people are afraid to let their characters be shitty and have flaws and act selfishly and joel is a bit of a controversial character already. i hope they dont try to make him/his actions more “acceptable” somehow. i LIKE that hes like this it makes him INTERESTING

but yeah the rest of the episode was fine i guess. loved seeing jackson. oh but i will say that the end of the episode felt so uneventful to me which is hilarious based off of what happens, but the way things play out in the game is SO TENSE and drawn out that in comparison was just really weak in the show unfortunately. im sure it was a “for time” reason and like it still gets the idea across but again just more reason for me to stand by the game still being The True Last of Us Experience. looking forward to the left behind episode tho i am so excited to see my girl riley again 💔