#but he doesnt love racing and he doesnt care about wining

[reigningm4x]

Always wanting more, never being satisfied and just keep working. Don’t have a lazy attitude of ‘we are winning, why do we need to improve?’ Because you need to improve. Because if you’re not improving, you’re standing still and you’re going backwards. So I think it’s all about that.

Max on his focus to keep improving.

[fatskwirrel]

Continuining —>

Anna and Belle I havent written much of

Anna was raised in a mixed household. She is only half-siren and so she can shapeshift into more humanoid shapes than many other sirens without needing breathing time. Ever since young, she has practised shapeshifting and can now almost perfectly form a creature that looks like the recorded human of old. Most people in the group cannot figure out her race and it annoys them.

During times away from her socialite circle, she communicates with her grandfolk. They are very high in status. Her grandfolk feel it is necessary to hide her race from the other people around her, her parents however do not. But Anna understands the implications of having everyone know that she is a siren and hides it in order to get more opportunities. She only has one skill that matters but cannot apply it academically and so, in her spare time she practises her other skill, questing.

She understands people well. She also is more acquainted with the response of flight than fight. She is amazing at illusion magic but doesn’t actively acknowledge it causing her to have horrible walking nightmares of her own creation to the point the doesnt know wat is real and what’s not. The sin she associates with is Wrath.

Belle grew up in a coven of vampires in an alchemist society. The Vampire race is mostly half-elf and only a few pure vampires exist. Therefore, vampires value what elves value and elves value health and gealing magic.

One of her main themes is her connection to the elves and the vampires. Her race is normal but she lacks the poetics of health and healing.

Growing up in the coven was not rare but she was the only young vampire in the house. She was treated with love and given everything she wanted. It’s normal for her to notice things about people and understand them and their intentions very easily. This was very apparent during her time as a socialite.

When her socialite circle had to take a mandatory break from study due to the schedule, her coven encouraged her to take part in questing, this was as they believed it was all in good fun. They had connections to a guild and assigned her there. She joined and saw Alin, Wine and Saige palling around, made friends with them immediately and joined.

She has values that she cares for but will go against those values for comfort and conformity. She will also do anything to fit in but not everything, if it gets too much for her she will give up and go somewhere else. This is unless the group/person is attractive to her. This is shown in her relationship with [villain] who does horrible horrible things for their own comfort but despite Belle not approving of their actions she follows in their footsteps because they’re popular. That is her failure.

She is likeable and relatable even in a fantasy setting. Her card set is her most important item, she can use it to summon anyone she chooses but uses it to talk to her friends instead.

They all met at a guild, Wine and Seige were often randomly picked to go on quests together (Wine’s family paid for that to happen) and eventually they became besties. Anna and Belle were best friends beforehand but fought. Alin had often quested with Anna, Wine and Seige but never made any interpersonal connections. When they all met it was a while after the guild randomly assigned people together. They all ran into each other and decided it would he best to do this mysterious quest (mentioned earlier) together.

Before they all had their first meeting to set up, neither Anna or Belle knew they would be qyesting together.

When they all met to plan, Caedy gifted them with necklaces of revival - if a particular hesling spell was performed, they can be revived.

I’ve only fully planned out the first quest. The first wuest in this series of quests is meant to renew the questers sense of their own mortality by having them have to be eaten by a creature with a huge mouth. Caedy dies first, his torso is removed and he’s eaten shortly before everyone else is.

Another wuest I had planned is for an arc fof Belle. The arc goes >>>> They teleport to the location of the quest. A priest comes to them and asks for them to help him heal (the oracle knows that the group don’t yet know the instructions for this quest (they figure out soon but it’s in the leader’s pocket)) Belle attempts to heal him and kills him. The quest was to kill a priest of the Oracle to gain her interest. She was surprised and decides to follow the group. Soon, dhe takes Belle away and takes her as a mentee. She shows her war and the trials that await her which helps to corrupt her spirit.

That’s all folks! Thanks for reading and (im fr a freak just) lmk if you want more rambles of stories bc i have a few others im writing rn yayyy!!! and i lice attention yayyy

Ramble to me about your favorite WIP >:}

ok omg so my gavourite writing WIP is set in a fantasy world and most of what I’ve been doing is scrambled workdbuilding and character writing so hereeee :))

the main cast are all failures and inevitable become the villsins of the story i decided that this was because of the quest which aims to destroy the questers spirits, gain powerful allies, gain weak enemies and eventually create an extinction level event that will destroy every race on the planet!!!

I thiught humans in fantasy were kind of boring to write because we already know so much about them so every person existing on the world in that current day is some kind of humanoid creature. Humans do technically exist there but they exist as souls: orblike beings that look a bit like this

they are harmless and just kinda float around - some of them do “speak” but in shattered words and only truly ‘united’ souls can actively communicate in full sentences.

Worldbuilding wise, the workd is set many years in the future and if i actually write this and people want to read this may spoil a bit if a plot point but,, many years ago - or slightly in the future for us, astronomers had found that a big space thing was coming to destroy the earth :0000 but they also remembered that a couple years ago they captured a meteor to extract a weird energy coming off it and they believed that if they used it to layer the earth in some way (this is do not accurate im dorry 😭😭) they could save the planet. This energy can be kinda referred to as ‘magic’ and after they did their plan thing it turned out that it was actually quite harmful to every living creature,, but it was too late now soo yeah

but magic is actually a conscious creature and in short it kinda collected a bunch if creatures and shoved them in “souls” tjen recreated earth using their ideas and what was REALLY trending atm in the human workd was fantasy so thats a fantasy world - or tbh it could be just one collected orbs idea idkkk.

anyways, in the current (fantasy world story time) an elf had been excessively researching humans. I think in this world, history is different to ours and that’s because magic is a hive mind creature and every creatire that lived in THAT world was connected through that hyper intelligent being (magic) who also had the fractured memories of every living being on earth so everyone in that workd has vague ideas of what human life was like but no idea how they know and wgenever we have no idea how we know smth we usually push it away and accept it as a simple fact of life. They do that too unless they’re historians like my elf guy Ester.

Anyways,, in his studies he first tried replicating hunans through Nymphs. He kept messing up but it’s natural tjat he did since he was trying to do what no one has ever done before. In his research he went to go stufy souls and this ended up distracting him from his original goal. He found a soul that spoke in fractured words and he was infatuated since he never found one that could speak before. He studied it endlessly until he ‘figured out’ what they were trying to tell him: Magic destroyed them and to bring them back, magic must be destroyed.

He did more research and bla bla bla found out that the best way he could destroy magic with no intereference was to make a quest!!!

So, main cast. I’m not sure who my main character is yet but I got the main cast so far: Siege, nicknamed “the traveller” is a giant. He grew up in a predominantly alchemist society (Alchemy is a religion that believes the world and all creatures came from the first alchemist: a human who betrayed everyone he knew by collecting all the magic seals and setting magic free, destroying every human but bringing the new fantastical races of mankind (alchemy is believed by the majority of individuals especially giants as alchemy can be used to reduce their height)). When he was young he used to be explorative and every day he would visit the entrance of the castle to see the visitors from other kingdoms. One day, he saw a Ninja being walked into the castle for presumably an execution. He thought it was the coolest thing he had ever seen and since that day he had been researching and training himself to become one. But all the stories and documents describing them were never accurate or detailed and so as he grew he shaped more into the innacurate image of what he thought was a ninja but bever actually became one (also hes a giant who is he kidding).

Next up is his bestie Wine. Wine is an orc raised by elves. In this world femininity is seen as preferable and therefore orcs and other naturally burly creatures are demonised. Elves are often respected and revered. At the time Wine was born, a war was ongoing between the elves and orcs however the elves had more allies. His whole city was destroyed and his family with it (according to his parents) his parents were sent to heal those who could be recovered and when they saw him they took him in. He was raised to reject and hate his naturally orcish appearance. Quick story but his parents are LOADED and so when they moved, they took him to a posh alchemist school. He liked it there at first because he was very religious and so were all his friends who resoected alchemy but ome night they jumped him and he had to go to the hospital. When he was there he saw a kid getting a prosthetic and got a very self destructive idea. Before he enacted this idea ge met seige in the alchemy club (there was a kingdomwide shortage of what was needed to reduce Seiges height so he went to the alchemy club to get help) and they became friends. Then he got leg prosphetics by breaking his legs and boom thats his story.

I tried to associate each character with a sin bc i always do and Wine’s sin is envy, Siege’s is pride.

Another character is Caedy (he dies in the first chapter)

Next up is Alin. Alin is a Dwarf who grew up in a Dwarf community. She is a very business oriented person who is constantly calculating her next move. Her Dwarf community was quite poor so she worked her way up to get out and promised her villiage chief that if she becomes successful her money will go to the village. As I mentioned earlier, femininity is preffered and do it was hard for Alin to work her way up since anything she could ever apply for would be rejected. One way to become successful is to join a ‘socialite circle’. It’s a form of education developed to home people’s skills to help them eventually get a high class job in the court, in the majesties, etc. She was rejected from that as well. However, through tavern work she had eventually finally started making more than she needed and had enough to start her own business. She had a stall and shevwas hoping to use her earnings to build her own tavern that would hopefully even host a guild. But one day she list everything and had no choice but to go on quests for wuick money.

I have to go but I’ll finish later with a reblog!!

[pikaflute]

hi, sudafed cleared my sinuses long enough to think so here’s a giant post about most of my charles headcanons

Playlist

OH btw here’s my 4 hour and 23 minute playlist for Charles. Enjoy. Yes I know I’m insane: https://open.spotify.com/user/pikaflute24/playlist/4DBxaaxbqsmJt9Fvl8AgwZ?si=OcXlYCdFRzOhuKa4p_HdUQ

General Headcanons

He was born November 24 1965. He’s currently 56, but I usually write him in his late 40s in most fanfic and content I make. So there’s this middle aged man....

He has hazel eyes. Sometimes they look green, sometimes brown. Sometimes they’ll be white but that’s when he’s using his magic so mind your business

Gear brand over his heart >:)c

:) i think he has piercings and tattoos, a skull (dead man teehee) on his upper arm, a tattoo of a date (the date pickles and him first met TEEHEE) on his left arm also has a tattoo on his arm of the day he “died” on his right. had his ears pierced when he was a teen.

Has a sweet tooth so hard. Smuggles in treats into the drawers of his desk just to snack on during the day and has a mini fridge just filled with ice cream and also sorts of other goodies. He loves brownies and cookies the most

Likes to work out and keep himself in shape. it takes his mind off of stressful things like work and the boys, and just take his morning practice sparring and doing various exercises in the mordhaus gym. 

he’s uh also very flexible so he does yoga a lot when he exercises. don’t. look too deep into that

cannot cook to save his life. he almost burned mordhaus down trying to make himself a sandwich

he can play guitar! he used to play it more often when he was younger but he rarely has the time to play it nowadays. when he does get to play it, it’s usually in private (and mainly songs by dethklok), or it’s to show off to a certain lead guitarist that yes he is playing that solo wrong

he’s ambidextrous but prefers using his right hand. he’ll use his left hand to spar in order to go easy on his opponents because hes a smug cunt

he’s 5′7 but intimidation factor adds a couple inches doesn’t it

has a scorpion named princess as a pet. he lets her sit on his desk sometimes and it scares the shit out of dethklok which makes charles laugh on the inside

hes also a cat person. one time toki brought a cat home and it settled on charles’ lap and he almost cried

loves to be a smug asshole and relishes in it. will not take shit from anyone, especially from some asshole who is trying to pull one over on him

he has no idea how social media works at all. will print memes out to show to dethklok, he’s very fond of cat memes specifically (i can has cheeseburger type beat)

he has no idea what any internet memes means he isn’t going to start learning. he is going to misuse internet phrases. are you boys, ah, finding the imposter? [cue five groans from dethklok]

knows a lot of languages. not a comprehensive list but: french, swedish, norwegian, spanish, italian, japanese, chinese, german, russian and korean

is very competitive. scarily competitive. once he starts losing in smash or mario kart all hell will break lose

very bad at showing emotions or affection, when he gets compliments he gets all red and quiet and mumbles a thank you. 

weird about being touched as well and will usually avoid it unless it’s with someone he trusts

speaking of, his love language is acts of service :)c

hates being called charlie or chuck, unless the right person calls him it ;)

he’s autistic. was nonverbal for most of his life and only talked to certain people, or anyone at all. he stims with his hands and uses his pens to fidget.

has a collection of novelty socks. he likes the ones that have polka dots or stripes

sleeps with a garfield plushie he had since he was younger. it helps him with the nightmares

when any of the boys need help sleeping (usually toki or pickles), he’ll sleep with them in his bed. after dying he had trouble sleeping some nights, so dethklok returned the favor and all piled up in his bed and helped him sleep. he didnt have nightmares after that night

hes nearsighted, and prefers to wear glasses over contacts

lactose intolerant, hes still eating mac n cheese and paying the price

metalhead but pretends to not be just to mess with his boys

crippling addiction to match 3 games. also loves to play minecraft.

overly self sacrificial. puts ones he love needs before his own, results in himself being very isolated and distant from those he cares about because he’s afraid of hurting them

his favorite colors are black and purple

coffee kinda guy. black coffee or bust

has a lot of cute novelty mugs to put his coffee in. he ones from places where dethklok tours, dethklok official ones (the only two that aren’t adorned with spikes), some cat themed ones, a couple that have ties and math references, and one from his boys that says “most brutal manager”. he drinks out of that last one the most

he has a couple of grey hairs and wrinkles, but he keeps them because they remind him that he’s human. also pickles said old men were hot but you didnt hear that from me

likes to play chess but he can never find a good opponent. all the klokateers are too scared if they win and dethklok is too distracted to ever play with him or they end up losing to quickly if charles plays against them

really wants kids. he babies his sister’s sons and daughters a TON (uncle charles always brings the best gifts :) ) and also treats toki like his own son in a way. toki doesnt mind, he really appreciates the love

speaking of, toki does call charles dad once and it makes charles cry for like. a week and a half

his favorite dethklok song is the gears :)

he likes to collect knives as a side hobby, his favorite of his collection is a sleek black one with skulls on the handle

he has a motorcycle and likes to drive it around sometimes to just be alone with himself. it’s all black with a red gear on it

lightweight but only if he drinks the amount dethklok drinks. can hold his alcohol fairly well if he drinks like a sensible human, prefers brandy and wine

he can smoke cigars to be sexy for me and me ONLY

likes to read in his spare time. he likes mystery novels and science fiction

he has soft spot for cheesy sitcoms, they’re his guilty pleasure

his favorite youtuber is lockpickinglawyer. yours should be too

usually sleeps in only his boxers but will wear a shirt if its’s cold. he tends to sleep on his side (also wants to be the little spoon when cuddled but he will never admit that)

takes vacations sometimes away from the boys despite his worry that something will go wrong (it will!). many of his vacations are usually going to visit his family and going to the shore with them, or travelling to somewhere new for a change (cue charles being a yakuza substory on his one vacation per year)

he can sew pretty well. learned from his mom and used to sew the whole his sister use to put through her soccer uniform.

can also do makeup, and usually does it for one of the boys of there’s no one else around to help

bites his lip when he’s nervous. which is a lot

likes chococat and gudetama. he’s a man of tastes

laughs really loud if you catch him off guard. he snorts sometimes too. he’s embarrassed by it, but i think its’ cute

loves law and order obviously 

he likes men

has a lot of pent up rage. very good at compressing it. sometimes

as high priest, he stays up very late trying to decipher the ancient prophecies that dethklok needed to fulfill. he doesnt sleep very much when he starts out because he misses home, so the band makes him come back (or else)

also as high priest he becomes more intune with magic granted to him after he died and he mainly uses his magic to protect his boys when they go back to being a band. also to fuck with them

the band he managed before dethklok was a band named savior who said they were a metal band with a unique sound, but that unique sound was actually just being a christian metal band that were bad at playing music. they also treated charles like shit and blamed him for them doing so poorly with sales and shows. had an unfortunate “accident” with a tour bus after charles had enough of their attitude towards him.  he denies he had anything to do with it (he did.)

Family/Childhood

He’s the baby of the family. Spoiled rotten to the max. He doesn’t admit it though but whenever he comes home you know he abuses the “:)c im the favorite” card

He has 4 older sisters: Caroline who is a high school civics teacher, Cynthia who is a librarian, Callie who is a coach for a soccer team, and Charlotte who is a lawyer/manager who manages Ladyklok, which gets awkward (and funny) when Abigail starts dating the lead singer Natalie

charles is actually one of the tallest in his family. his dad is 6’1 and his older sister Callie is 5’11. cynthia is 5’6, caroline is 5’6, and his mom and charlotte are 5’5.

his mom is a doctor and his dad is an accountant. his mom’s name is giovanna and his dad’s name is elijah

caroline is the oldest sister, followed by cynthia, callie, charlotte then charles.

Charlotte and Charles are sworn enemies since they were born on the same day a year apart and basically have the same job. They do love each other though

His father calls him Charles. Caroline and Cynthia call him Charlie. Callie calls him Chuck. Charlotte calls him Charles (derogatory). His mom calls him a whole slew of nicknames that she made up when he was young (she calls him cheese ball and he turns red)

caroline has a wife (lauren who is a chef) and two kids (evan and shelby)

cynthia is dating a coworker (viola)

callie has a husband (john who is a stay at home dad) and they have three kids (brenda, melissa, and jeff)

charlotte is dating ladyklok (and abigail). this is a weird flex on charles i think.

He had a race car bed when he was like 5

He also was also one of those kids at family game night. He almost killed Cynthia over a game of monopoly

Always got to lick the spoon first after his mom baked brownies

He grew up in North Jersey (derogatory) (also yes im projecting state shot)

He’s also Italian (derogatory)

He got bullied in middle school for a little bit but once his older sisters found out, oh boy did all hell break loose

Was in band in high school. He played flute (DONT TALK TO ME I LIKE PROJECTING), he was of course a soloist and incredibly smug about it

Took gymnastics as a kid. Can do a backflip on command. Also very flexible.

First manager gig was helping his sisters sell girl scout cookies. They raked in a lot of profits when baby bro was behind the scenes. His cut was eating thin mints for free

Loved Star Trek when he was a kid

Was incredibly gifted, and taught himself to read at a young age. didn’t talk that much though

was always sick when he was little. he would always get sinus infections and colds if someone even sneezed weird

was in mock trial in high school. one guy on his team was a jerk to him so charles made it a point to be this poor kid’s nemesis

was on the student council, treasurer of course.

was also in nhs, and he was treasurer there too

was that kid who insisted on doing the group project by himself because he didn’t want to wait on anyone to finish their part

was super rowdy as a kid, always got into trouble but his mom was a little lenient of punishment (hes a mommas boy)

when he was like super young he bit people cause he was just a little monster (charles' sisters: mom charles is biting again. charles, biting one of them: im not :/ sheesh)

wanted to be a lawyer since he was 7

put his own siblings and parents on trial and would win every trial and would always get the last cookie or a higher allowance

he shared his room with his sister Charlotte and they would set up a pillow fort on one of the beds and stay up late reading together 

loved going to the beach as a kid, his mom still has his collection of shells from the beach

on the boardwalk, he would dominate at claw machines anad carnival games. he won a bunch of plushies from himself (and his sisters obviously)

his dad and him have a super close bond. they watched star trek together and also like to watch how the stock market would do. his dad was also sometimes the judge in charles’ mock trials at home

they were very supportive when he came out as gay, he was also the first of his sibilings to come out of the closet

College

Got his masters in business management at rutgers and a JD (law degree) from seton hall law.

Started college when he was 18 (1983) and ended college when he was 26 (1991)

Wasn’t a party guy. Never got invited to many, but he never went unless a certain redhead was in town

Sustained himself off of ramen, coffee, and SSRIs to get his masters (hey man i feel ya)

Did weed like three times. Three of those times were because of, you guessed it, a certain redhead

Speaking of, his first time having sex was in his dorm with Pickles. Pickles also kicked him off of the bed (those beds are fucking tiny) while they slept, and almost burned Charles’ dorm down trying to make toast the next morning

Absolute did not do essays until the night before. Bad habit that made it’s way into Dethklok managing when he’s forced to write a legal brief before 12 am.

Loved calculus 2 for some reason. Nerd

Had a mullet. Pickles thought it was hot (still is) while Charles would rather die than remember anything about that horrid hairdo

Also went through his goth/emo phase while in Law School. He stuck out amongst the sea of sweater vests and polo shirts

Was in a band with his fellow college bandmates. The band was called Habeas Corpses and he was the lead singer who also played guitar. Their sound was kind of similar to TWRP’s first two EPs (The Device and 2nite). they had a grunge aesthetic, and yes charles dyed his mullet black (with a purple streak), for the band.

his bandmates were all fellow law students. dillan was on drums, margaret was their bass guitar, and nick was their keyboardist. all three of them also got tutored by charles while in law school. they are still best friends and write to each other sometimes

Was on the debate team, but uh kicked off due to be very competitive (he threatened to punch the opposing debater)

Was also in the chess club, also kicked off for being too competitive (lunged at a kid for cheating)

After being kicked from the two previous clubs, he joined fencing, his very competitive nature made him the best in the state

nick (the guy in charles’ band) was charles’ roommate the whole time they were in college. they may or may not have had a brief relationship before they realized they would be better as friends

nick also has a nes and charles loved to played zelda and wrote an entire guide for himself because he’s was that into the game (nerd)

occasionally would be found sleeping in the library on campus

wanted to be an RA but the resident association at his schools thought he was a little much. charles took this as a compliment

worked out a lot between studying and classes. a lot of jocks underestimated him because of his size but charles was just :) [casually lifts something heavy]

a lot of fellow classmates thought he was super cool cause of the leather he wore, and how cool and quiet he was, too bad they didnt know he was a huge nerd

tried skateboarding. once.

had a cadillac that barely started and drove like a piece of shit but that was charles’ baby

pickles tried to have sex with charles in said car btw, charles almost killed him for even daring to suggest to tarnish his beautiful baby

has damaged his back permanently because of all the books he used to carry around in his crappy back pack

did some modelling for one of his friends in college. he was very attractive and got some other modelling job through it. he tries to hide that from the boys in the future because he thinks it’s embarrassing

Relationship with Dethklok

Pickles - he’s known the drummer the longest out of any other member, and if you couldn’t tell by now, he had a brief relationship with the drummer back in the 80s (and maybe also still has a crush on him :)). charles respects and admires pickles’ talent as a musician and sometimes they play together when they have time alone. he tries to be there when pickles has a relapse in either emotions with his family or something else, but still tries to maintain a distance because he thinks that pickles doesn’t feel the same as he did in the 80s. (he does btw). nothing could break the bond these two share. not even death

Nathan - understands nathan’s quiet nature (nonverbal kings!) and strive for perfection in everything dethklok creates because he is the same way. their similarities allow them to connect on a level that allows nathan to open up about his feelings that he likes to lock away. nathan also gets charles to open his feelings up and actually care for himself for once in his damn life. charles also helps nathan with the depression he develops after charles dies and how to deal with it despite it being not brutal. nathan wants to give back and he does by becoming one of charles’ closest friends (and maybe even lovers hehehe)

Toki - charles has taken it upon himself to be toki’s father figure after seeing the way toki’s family has left him for essentially dead. ever since toki joined the band, charles has made it a point to be there for him whenever he needed it. even if it meant spending late nights reading to toki or sleeping over in toki’s room to help him sleep, he’ll do it. he blames himself for toki’s disappearance but toki assures him that he did the best he could. toki calls him dad a lot after doomstar. it makes charles cry.

Skwisgaar - unstoppable asshole meets immovable object. skwisgaar sees himself above everyone else like he does with the other dethklok members but with charles, skwisgaar knows that charles isn’t intimidated by him nor will he bow to the guitar god in anyway. this develops a game of cat and mouse between the two, with skwisgaar trying to no subtly push charles’ buttons and to see what makes him ticks, while charles resist him at every turn with a smug ‘:) is that all you got’ and it delights him to finally see the guitarist squirm under pressure.

Murderface - at first the two are very. distant to say the least. murderface used to see charles as unemotional robot and charles was fine with that and accepted the distance. overtime however, and especially after charles died, murderface warmed up to charles confiding in him things he hasn’t told the band, mainly things about his insecurities because charles is ‘fucking smart with crap like this’. and charles helps him and is happy to see him work out his problems and not bottle them anymore like the rest of his bandmates. charles also enjoys murderface’s company as a friend as well. and….he’s gonna help murderface the most with the whole traitor stuff too.

Abigail - mlm and wlw hostility. but seriously they’re good buds. he sympathizes with having to deal the moronic actions of dethklok on a daily basis and also thinks she’s really intelligent and overall fun to hang out with. they take lunch breaks frequently together and like to make fun of people at dethklok dinners together as a fun activity together. abigail will bully his ass once she finds out she’s dating charles’ sister and WILL bring up those baby pictures to get a higher raise thank you very much

Knubbler - can you say coworker besties! like abigail, he gets along because they both have to deal with dethklok being, well dethklok, but with knubbler, charles can relax a little more. the two cause problems on purpose just because they can. the two are also close friends and knubbler tries to get charles to relax for once in his life, and despite charles protests and objections, he sometimes caves and hands out with his friend (maybe boyfriend OOOOO who knows)

Sex Headcanons (IM SORRY)

um maybe he can have a giant dick (10 inches for me), it do be swinging though

daddy kink (everyone stay on this side, ill take care of him….come to daddy ;)c)

likes to do roleplay. he has a lot of costumes prepared for when his partner wants to do a scene with him

likes to bite and be bitten during sex. after a very long night, he’ll be covered in bite marks, it’s kinda hot

no gag reflex ;) he likes to deepthroat but good luck trying to get him to go down on you without him teasing

remember how i said he was flexible like eight times? yeah he uh, uses that a lot to his advantage. likes being fucked in weird positions because of it

the suit stays on during sex

he likes topping because he likes to be in control of everything he does all the time, but really wants to be told what to do sometimes and will let those he trusts do that for him

he has a dick piercing i know it

he's a very busy man, so he relies on his huge collection of toys he keeps in his bedroom and office

really good with his hands. as soon as those hands are on you, its game over

he loves to do it on his desk, makes him feel powerful. when he gets blown under his desk, it really takes all of his willpower to not cum immediately

really sensitive in weird places, specifically his ears

he likes to cuddle after sex, hes the little spoon :)

likes to be tied up, sometimes he’ll get tied up under his suit

mating press and riding are his favorite positions, giving and receiving

size queen, likes large toys and well ;)

has a private room that he sometimes goes to relieve stress, it has a fucking machine that he likes to use often when his job gets too stressful

he’s sucking people off at the klokateer glory hole, he’s uh, very good at what he does

likes to be spanked and like to spank

uses collars and leashes

maybe the klokateers can fuck him, if they’re good ;)

freeballing

likes cum on his face but doesn't seem to realize that means he’ll get cum on his glasses and will need to clean them

he can wear a chastity belt :) for me

likes being came in but will still complain about being gross after

pretty much up for anything, he’s not picky, he just wants to be in control and get off

[thesubtlegatsby]

if ur dnd homebrew has a pantheon, talk about its deities!!!

i am going to answer this if i were an overconfident 19 year old in his first creative writing class after a teenagerhood of only reading hemmingway.

once upon a time i created a pantheon for a small and isolated collection of rpers on a site for friends only. i did this because i wanted to and fantasy should have its own religion, so i puttered through the creation of a smattering of simple gods, lovingly stealing the best and most reliable tropes while inverting the ones that bored me. death remained complex and seething with darkness, justice was prone to its own rule-breaking, and thieves hid behind smirks as much as cloaks - but where saddened wives also held vengeance in their bloody hands and love was not designed with passion in mind, but the rounded and well-fed hearth and home where it dwells most comfortably and with the least drama.

the problem with gods is, once you name them, they demand worship. the problem with these gods, is i was the only one left to pay them any mind.

so pay them i did. i paid them in hours of scribbled notes and a new world, not one they were crafted to fit but one crafted to fit them, one where the beginning was theirs as much as the ending and every step along the way was filled with their worship, their mark, and their handiwork.

then i did something i didn't expect to. i killed one of them. i left the hole where she stood, an empty space in the fabric of creation that made your skull itch if you looked too closely at it but underneath the false veneer of godly immortality i hid the truth that gods could be killed and one of them had killed the other. or at least made it look that way - she had stolen what made this goddess a goddess and left her a broken and confused shell of her former self while the world spun madly on without her.

i did all of this before i even sent out a message saying i would be running a campaign.

poetry aside, here's brief descriptions of the pantheon:

Tophyros: god of the sky, dragons, and justice. firm, fair, and so tired of his long long life, tophyros is the backbone of Lucidion's religion and father, brother, or husband to every god known to exist. his major flaw is that lawful is not enough but he thinks it is, so his judgments are flawed for their lack of forgiveness.

Ygriva: his wife, goddess of marriage, women, childbirth, victory, and vengeance. for her i picked up hera and went "what if she knew she was right and also had a knife?" while tophyros putters around with the Above Board Solutions, Ygriva slips back and forth between slipping poisons in opportune mouths and appearing the dutiful wife.

Skyrozh: Tophyros' brother, god of death, ice, and lies. he was once content with his fate in the underworld as its arbiter but has grown weary and has begun his second attempt to free himself and wage war against those who would keep him trapped. Well, that's how the story goes. In truth, something has been taken from him, and its loss has corrupted him beyond recognition, the caring hand of death replaced with a god who corrupts resting souls themselves to fill his armies.

Goldozath: son of ygriva and tophyros (as all gods following him on this list are) and god of war, revelry, fire, and tactics. he is as much the flow of blood on the battlefield as he is the flow of wine at the feast following a surrender. Goldozath was killed in the first war with Skyrozh, but his champion at the time was able to absorb his godhead and take his place without mortals becoming aware. This replacement puts a much heftier emphasis on the party part of his new godhood than the original god.

Zenrava: goddess of magic, secrets, rituals, and knowledge. she created the elves and was jealous that her sister's creation, the humans, were preferred, and nursed that spite for generations. Zenrava pulled magic out of the world when the war began to protect the souls of the elves in an afterlife separate from Skyrozh's, but the very same sister used her champion to return magic to the mortal races, and for this slight among the others, Zenrava ripped away her godhood and hid it, rewriting the knowledge of the world as if she had never existed.

Trensicaya: goddess of the earth, beauty, music, the hunt. she created the dwarves as well as the lute, and is a no-nonsense goddess who is worshipped quite popularly for being responsible for harvests. the major fall festivals are all in her name, and winter itself is said to be when she leaves the mortal realm to hunt in more dangerous fields for a season. She nursed her own resentment of their youngest sister and assisted Zenrava in keeping the secret of their sister's de-godding.

Tamrohx: god of thieves, merchants, luck, and tricks. Trensicaya's twin. he's a little shit with his own band of followers who are basically a glorious little thieves guild. he has six fingers on each hand which he finds super helpful for sleight of hand tricks. he created goblins to help him with his schemes but lost control of them, and the descendants of these escaped goblins are how common goblins came to be.

Rioh: god of rivers, ocean, storms, health, and chastity. for this i went "how do i make the god of chastity look as slutty as possible" and the answer was wet twink who doesnt have sex. he's the most like tophyros in that he's got a lot of rules he likes to follow, but he's much softer with his followers than his father is. one of his champions, Eost, created a river that allowed civilization to expand into the desert, but part of the magic used to anchor the river also cursed the land around its source and now people who live there turn into alligator monsters.

Diraeus: god of the sun, the moon, travel, and choice. he is also two gods - raes, god of the sun, and dirus, god of the moon. when all is well, diraeus cycles both celestial chariots through the sky. when conflict splits the gods, he shatters, Raes standing stalwart at Tophyros' side and dirus often siding with Skyrozh's schemes and helping to hide his plots from the other gods. the campaign began with diraeus splitting and Dirus knocking Raes out of the sky entirely, plunging the world into night.

last is Amaliana, the tenth god. She was killed and forgotten, the mortals having no trace of her existence and the gods all believing her dead. As mentioned, however, Zenrava did not kill her but hid her godhood from her and left her physical form wandering the world, while trensicaya assisted with the coverup. she is the goddess of the hearth, of love, and of family.

and she gave the group their first quest without them knowing it was her.

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

To Owe A Date

Request fill from AO3 I got carried away with.

@cecie-does-stuff-things I thought maybe you'd like to be tagged since it's DeSleep!

Summary: The new barista at the coffee shop Janus frequents is a shameless tease of a flirt. Janus finds he doesnt really mind.

Warnings: none

Ships: DeSleep, Janus x Remy

WC: 1,499

Rarely was Janus in a worse mood than he was that morning.

It had started off fine, his sons getting along relatively well for the most part. Remus had only stolen one shoe and hidden it the morning and Roman had only gone off on one tirade concerning some musical or another. He loved both of them dearly, chaotic as they were with their typical escapades and he loved listening to their interests and debates on those interests, but they often made for exhausting mornings that made him crave the sweet release of caffeine before he felt ready to face his clients, many of which acted less mature than his seven year olds.

As it was he gently massaged his temples as he kept a fast pace to the nearest coffe shop, which made average drinks at best but was cheap and on his way to the tattoo parlor so he really couldn't complain. Burying himself further in his caplet as he went (yes they were still in style, it was warm and kept his arms free) he stepped hurriedly inside, the small bell tinkling and alerting the worker behind the bar.

Janus' brow furrowed slightly as he took in the new cashier, styled hair swooping low over a dark set of sunglasses and an eclectic assortment of what looked like silly bands adorning his wrists. Sighing quietly he prayed that the newcomer knew how to make coffee already and wasn't a completely new trainee, otherwise this day was going to be a lot more painful than he had anticipated.

"Hey shortcake, what's your poison?"

Janus blinked, the server stood at least a head taller than him, making his comment instantly infuriating. "I have to wait until at least two before consuming alcohol. Unfortunately coffee is classier than wine before noon."

The barista laughed outright. "Ooooh, tired wine mom aesthetic! Don't worry, in this shop we love Karens."

"You won't in about five seconds if I'm still refused service, no ones too tall for a kick to the kneecaps." Janus leaned pointedly against the counter, refusing to acknowledge the others shameless flirting, if that's what it could even be called. The other whistled low and grabbed a small pad and pen, straightening and standing to attention.

"Yes sir." The sultry tone definitely didn't go over Janus head but he merely rolled his eyes and glared point blank. "Alright fine. Geez girl, you are absolutely no fun. Do you know how boring it is in here most days? Can't blame a guy for trying. I'm gonna guess...you're probably a lightweight, so decaf with lots of sugar hun?"

Janus snorted. "Fuck no. A mocha with two extra espresso shots and whipped cream. I'll pay the extra."

Raising his eyebrow the barista jotted down his order and smirked. "Love a man who can hold his espresso. It'll be just a minute...?"

"Karen."

Laughing out loud again, he just nodded and turned away forwards the various machines to go about filling the order. In no time at all it was done, his cup handed over with Karen ♡ carefully written on the side. Paying quickly, Janus turned to leave, only pausing when the man's voice called out to him.

"See ya later babes."

"Depends on how good the coffee is." Janus threw over his shoulder not bothering to look back as he left to actually go to his job. Walking briskly down the sidewalk he idly took a sip of his order while checking his phone for the time.

...well shit.

Concentration fully on his drink he realized that even if that shop wasn't already his regular coffee shop it certainly would be now.

-----

"Dad! Guess what I did today?" Roman jumped up and down excitedly clutching his backpack.

"No, his story's stupid! Guess what I did instead!" Judging from Remus' mud covered jeans Janus could definitely give a guest as to what he did. Sighing in mock exasperation, he shifted the groceries and continued to carefully step up the stairs.

"I suppose it'll be up to whoever can get the groceries over to Mrs. Gibson the fastest can tell their story first." That way too he wouldn't be tripping over them trying to unlock the door with an armload of groceries.

"RACE YOU!!" As soon as they reached the landing Remus took off, leaving a loudly protesting Roman to catch up with him.

"Quieter please, and be-!" A loud crash followed by apples skidding across wood. "-careful. Are you alright?"

His worry dispersed as Remus scrambled up and began picking everything up and shoving them back in the bags, his brother begrudgingly helping him. Smiling and shaking his head he turned to the door and attempted to reach the key while still holding the bags, a feat which he stubbornly refused to believe was impossible now that he had started.

"Do you like, need help or-?" A familiar voice had him glancing up, mouth running dry as he recognized the sunglasses wearing flirt from that morning.

"How am I supposed to be enraptured by my saviors eyes if I can't gaze into them like the star struck lover I am?" Janus drawled, still making a valiant effort to reach his pocket.

"No can do babe, fluorescents are just as bad as sunlight and I enjoy looking at your own eyes too much to risk blindness." So saying he reached over and took the groceries, smugly carrying them all one handed while holding a cup of coffee in the other.

Pretending not to notice his burning face Janus turned to finally get the door open just as the boys were running back down the hall.

"Dad Mrs. Gibson gave us candy-! Oh! Hi mister!" Roman stopped abruptedly in front of the stranger, who smiled and tipped his head.

"Sup kid." Unfortunately, Remus didn't have the luxury of paying attention, too enraptured by the bag of chocolate he had been given to bother slowing down and barreled his way straight into his twin.

Janus saw the dominos fall in slow motion; Roman stumbling forward and reaching out for something to grab, which just so happened to be the baristas arm. Coffee spilled in a waterfall on both of twins' heads and in a desperate attempt to remedy the situation the man jerked his hand up and away, getting a face full of ice and the remaining coffee in the process. For a moment time stood still, but taking in everyone's drenched appearance Janus couldn't help a small small to grow to a grin, a snort breaking the silence as he struggled to contain his laughter, apologizing through it nonetheless.

"I'm so sorry, are you-are you okay?"

Before he could answer he was cut off by Roman. "I'm so sorry I didn't mean to it was an accident-!"

"Hey kid, check this out." The man kneeled, setting the cup down before flipping his glasses up and letting chunks of ice fall from behind them. "No use crying over spilled coffee. It's chill."

Janus stared incredulously before letting loose another peal of laughter. He nudged open the door and ushered the boys inside. "Go clean up before you end up sticky. I don't care if you like it Remus go."

"Boy they took chaos twins to heart didn't they?"

Janus turned around and offered an apologetic smile. "I really am sorry about all of this-"

He waved him off. "It's cool babes. You just owe me coffee now."

Janus smirked and tugged on his groceries, taking them back. "I'd say I just owe you an offer to come in and clean up. Where's the coffee coming from?"

"Oh I might have a place in mind."

----

"This is not what I thought you meant." Janus stood with a deadpan expression as he took in the small cafe that was decidedly not the other's place of work.

"I never eat where I work babes." The man replied, reading Janus' thoughts.

"I thought I was just buying you coffee?" He sputtered following after him.

"Oh you paid me back with that yesterday when I washed my hair in the sink. This is because i owe you a date."

Who the hell- "You are really forward aren't you?"

The other tipped his glasses down slightly to wink. "You haven't told me to fuck off yet so I'm just taking it in stride."

"This is one date, to be clear."

"Sure Karen."

"Janus."

The other stopped and whirled around. "What babes?"

Janus ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. "It's Janus."

Smiling, the man stepped forward and leaned slightly to fix his hair, making his face erupt in flames. "Call me Remy, shortstack."

Janus scowled. "I'm not that short!"

"Babes, I'm like a head taller than you. You're kids'll probs be taller than you by the time they're ten."

Bickering all the way to the door Janus couldn't help but smile. Short just meant dibs on being the little spoon, and he had every intention of taking advantage of that.

As always this work is also available on AO3!

[zyadkhalid]

If you think you are boring read this

“My heart breaks every time I see somebody call themselves boring. You're looking at it all wrong and that's why you still feel the same way. Please read this and I'll try and prove it to you.

People don't care if you're interesting. They care how you make them feel.

Heres a thought experiment. Picture yourself alone at a fancy cocktail party that you have to attend for work. You would like to talk to people but you aren't sure what to say. At different times during the evening two different people approach you and make conversation. Heres how it goes:

Bob approaches you. You find out he just bought a boat. A 35ft with twin engines. He wrecked his old one racing it off of the coast of Portugal last year and almost died. Hes been doing kettle bell workouts to get his body back in shape and its working great. He thinks the wine they served at the cocktail party is shit and he bets they don't have a single real sommelier in the building. Hes going to do something about that actually, because he knows the guy that owns the place. He leaves his number on a napkin and says lets get coffee before he answers his Bluetooth headset and runs off.

Larry approaches you. He said hes feeling a little shy and he noticed that you were standing there alone. He doesn't care for big parties full of strangers. He asks if you like Dr Who. You arent really but you say you have heard of it and there is an awkward pause. He asks you what you do for fun and you say you love doing archery and renaissance fairs. Hes never done anything like that but hes interested to know more. Do they do those around here? What time of year? Do you have to dress up or can you just go? When's the next one? Larry says if you ever need someome to go with you that hes down and he asks if he can add you on Facebook.

Ok. Who are you going to call? Bob or Larry? Was it more important that they were interesting or was it more important that they were interested in you. You don't have to relate to everything. Fight that urge. Just be interested. If you make somebody else feel interesting, they will think the world of you.

I have cool hobbies. I make knives and tools in my metal shop. I like to take hallucinogens and go to music festivals. I don't talk about them, people dont give a shit and that doesnt hurt my feelings. Nobody is ever going to get a warm and fuzzy feeling from you because you have cool hobby

Most people are shy when it comes to making friends. Some people do walk around just bored and disinterested in others. Learn to recognize them and pay them no energy.

Take some time to appreciate yourself. Stop calling yourself boring. You arent a fucking jester here to entertain people. Youre an entire human being with just as much validity as anybody else. Love yourself for who you are, and help other people feel good about themselves and you will never feel lonely again.

Just remember to ask "what do you do for fun?" “

[franidovki1983-blog]

Please think this one over. There will be people in your life who grumble (or flip) about you asking to be called by your new name. Keep correcting them until they get it right, I really wouldn leave it up for debate with anyone. Overall, just make sure you don't make assumptions, accusations, or diagnose. I find stating observations helps, but then asking what they think and validating their feelings. Make sure she knows that this is her choice. I apply to dry hair and clip up in plastic (no metal, as it can cause oxidation on your hair!) I cover my head in plastic wrap, leave on for 2 hours, and then wash out. First I wash it out with loads of conditioner. Then I shampoo twice, and condition as normal. That, there another thing the cliche photos: jumping out of a plane in a baby bjorn contraption attached to some big dude. I mean sure, it cool that you did that I suppose, but it doesn particularly make me go "ooh I have to meet this woman!" or the macchu pichu shot. I never been like "you know who would be the perfect girlfriend a girl who went to macchu pichu. He is very logical and doesnt really believe in anything unless there is absolute proof of it. (I not opposed to this. I dont think this mentality is better or worse than others, simply just another mentality.) Anywho, we were alone, and the front door opened itself. Ehhh, as a roamer I say 60/40 in terms of importance out of/in combat respectively. The extra MS helps with kiting, disengage and even micropositioning 삼척출장샵 myself more quickly to pull off a burst (such as playing DH and walking across Test of Faith more quickly so I can pull a tethered opponent across it). The main reason I always ended up going back to +25% MS runes in the past is because I could feel the difference, like when trying to take a camp, realizing I be outnumbered, then fleeing/kiting those who chase successfully without getting run down, or more easily walking out of aoes.. The do serve a purpose and that purpose requires a whole lot of less prominant Bonehunters getting what could seem like unjustified "screentime". Can go into it any more because spoilers, but it probably something that many would find fairly obvious in hindsite and I just slow :)xarallei 2 points submitted 8 days agoGW2 raids are fun, but are nowhere near the level of WoW raids as far as difficulty. The raiding scene is nothing remotely like the race to World First in WoW. I think in the bottom of my heart I do understand that but the whole stupid rest of my heart loves and cares for him. Besides the most negative shitty and stupid aspects that I outlined above he is a loving, caring, kind soul. The kind of person that would go out of their way to do nice things for those they love and consider family. It not a fight it a glassing. It fires up. So one of the contestants walks over and pours a full glass of alcohol on top of another person head, then the glass in hand is smashed on the table, and then she goes for the face of the person who spilt the wine, Denyer claimed, adding he didn know the identity of the other person involved in the fight.(the glassing) is just about to happen, and the crew has to intervene.full on is that? How are they going to level it for the series next year? A drive by? Where do you go from here? has reached out to Nine for comment.A short time after Denyer dropped his 삼척출장샵 bombshell, Mel appeared on the 2DayFM breakfast show and confirmed it was true.know what? There all that and more, she told the hosts when confronted with the story.season it like the fireworks, and then the fireworks finale.

[rawring-rainbows]

The Queen’s pajamas

She was woken up by her potential girlfriendand her story is still being worked on if you wanna read the notes and rough draft so far here you are

Our Queen found a living island fixed it up and discovered it travelled different  dimensions and worlds

Queen Eclipse her two orbs floating above her shoulders holds back her true  (as corny as it sounds).. form

Her body and soul is directly connected to the living island when those little marbles fall she forms into this huge beast lays

behind her castle/Huge body of water (I cant decide) She goes to sleep and also so does the island No one knows for sure

what happends during this time besides her royal higher ups During this time its dark and most of the creatures plants etc seem to be put at rest things are dim dark and calm and

normally people can leave the island but no one can it looks almost as if theres a barrier around it During this time the entire kingdom starts this gigantic festival they play games they eat food they meditate they do

mminor rituals but this most import thing is laying your dominant hand on the royal beast and the other on your heart and

telling her that you believe in her and thank her for all that she's done as well as a what you hope for when the sun comes

up again Her form gets smaller and smaller as time goes on but when she wakes up shes happy and rejuvinated like her people who

canot help be filled with an explosive amount of happieness but so does the entire continent harvests are plentiful and

delicious flowers bloom trees are full of fruit the hopeless have hope the sick are healed all sorts of miracles happen

except one the dead cannot be raised and the wicked use this strange phenomenon for one thing.. To Kill without regret

You finally earned your way to the top of the royal hierarchy to get some sort of answer is to what the Queen does while

she sleeps a tall wise looking creature looks down at you with his hands behind his back an expression and peircing eyes

that gave you this feeling he could read u like a book."What would you do if you were a God?" He gives you no time to

answer "One God of many who takes over a world and play with those puppet strings as you please and make your ideal

world..Would you abandon it? Would you get bored? With endless time and power what do you do with this immortal life?" He

finally answers a question "You become atleast a quarter mortal..Taking on the life among your people but! Is it enough?

NO!!" The sudden outburst startles you but he keeps a calm expression "Do you take a small part of an enormous world and

make it your own? What kind of God would make one's self slightly vulnurable  while taking the lives from countless God

Ruling worlds of your very own kind? Is this God planning to make a Utopia for many?......Or To grow strong enough to wage

war and flip that coin calling heads to who will be the ruler of ALL worlds?...And will you be strong enough to live

through to thank the one who ripped off a peice of herself to show you how lucky you are to stand on the grounds of someone

who could erase u from existance with the flick of her wrist..Will you be thankful to the one who allowed you to be a part

of the game that no matter what you do you cannot stop..or will you realize All you can do is attempt to give her the heart

to try her damnest to allow you to survive in an existence where others like herself wont have a smidgen of pity for you?..

"

"You ever hear the term a captain goes down with their ship?" The Queen asks looking up at the stars. You Nod. "You see

those stars up there?.....They're sunken ships... God's are not made of flesh of blood..They're pure energy and each one of

them swimming around up there looks for...hmm...how do i put this...They look for shelter and they feed on energy and when

a God First manifests they're very fragile..and easily consumed its a battle to live on untill they find theyre set

home..Some are stronger then others and build their hearts in several worlds some have dozens some settle with one" her

eyes darted up with a look of pain on her face. "Some dont make it..Their people they work so hard to grow and have their

planet thrive..either destory eachother or destroy their God..If a God dies in their shell its people could thrive for some

time but then..." she pointed to one of the brightest stars in the sky that was soon shut off like a light. "Theyre used to

fuel the next world" You asked which one is she like. She grinned eared to ear. "Im a special kind...the kind that doesnt

like to be tied down..The kind that's deeply afraid not only to lose my own life but the ones who grew with me and

Thrived!" She took a deep excited breath then sighed.  "Though I took a big risk being different from the others..I have no

idea what's in our future..but!..I will work hard enough so that we have a big chance for it to work out in the end..Most

God's abandon their children..Most God's just watch them grow thrive and destroy eachother while sitting back without a

care because they only think about themselves...Me...I want to work together.." She lifted her glass of wine. "If the plan

works smoothly we'll be unstoppable if not well.." She clinked her glass against yours and lifted hers up again. "To an

unexpected future!!"

"When do you feel the most mortal?" You asked the queen who was scratching her chin in thought. "I...How do I put

this...Any sort of pain...emotional,physical,etc I do not feel immidiatly..I feel just enough to settle the situation at

that moment..whether its comfrontation..or a fight i feel about 5 to 25 percent of any sort of negative feeling...untill

later..when theres no one around..when theres no danger my people cant handle..I break down..I cry..my chest hurts..my

heart breaks..I throwup and so on and so fourth...for centuries i would wonder why this happend...then i realized..I use my

immortality as a shield and dont give my mortality a chance to breath..its something ive been trying to work on for a long

time..others who ive told this secret to said they've felt something similiar to that..that its because we hurt for others

and put everything holding us back aside for those including ourselves.. Who are we if we do not protect others while

they're weak as our parents who have provided us with shelter while we were young?.. We're all still young you know...Young

and afraid Unsure of our futures no matter how hard we work for them..Life is tough and brutal as Hell and its nice to have

someone to protect you when you need it most..I dont mind having these moments..Pain isnt so bad when it reminds you that

you're alive.."

God's are very territorial shes nervous Oh my Stars!..Look she's sweating!" You say as you watched her talked to the group

of Gods. "She's fine she's smart but very cautious these are her friends-"  You interupt him. "Ticking time bombs you mean!

any one of them can turn around and attempt to kill her or kill someone else-" "She wouldnt allow that! She would rather

lay down her life then allow them to put us in danger..." You look to the side with uncertainty "What is one life to a God

thats rules over many?" You sighed and clutched your chest trying to still your racing heart.

When two Gods fight it's...Ugh! I'm a journalist! Im risking my life on the surface and i dont even know how to explain this!"  Adrenaline pumped through your veins you were panicking there was two  gargantuan God's standing thousands of feet from you ready to Rip into eachother. "What to do What to do" You say quickly pacing back and fourth Suddenly CRACK BOOM! Heat rushes over you as you fall and eat dirt you look up over the stone you stood behind leaning over and watching it slowly start to disintegrate, but that didnt matter just yet you're writers block was destroyed at this very moment and you had to write this down "Through Mortal eyes this fight looked as if two Colossal flames were trying to engulf eachother-" You start to say but just like that it was almost over the enemy was tossed in your direction as you watched in shock it skid across the ground and stopped 10 feet from you The Goddess who ruled over the ground you stood on seemed to appear on top it then immidiatly looked right into your eyes. "She stared at me..Its like looking into one thousand suns though it doesnt burn.." You say out loud attempting to write it down without looking The monumental beings expression started to change. "Her expression went from pure fury that melted into absolute worry..You look tired.." You said softly it was like talking to an intelligent beast who said nothing but you could tell how it was feeling. The deity suddenly started using her last bit of strength on her enemy pressing her enormous forearm on its throat struggling against her grip. "Stop! Don't worry about me! Fight this guy with a better strategy! You could die!" You braced for impact There was a loud crack and a deafening sound of thunder you soon after looked up. "The Enemy was destroyed in an explosion of pure white..It's snowing diamonds..She's ok..She won....Risking her life for one weak being who stood on her grounds which she ruled....and im in love with her"

[choisgirls]

Trick or treating/favorite candy for a spooky request?? Pwease!

Ah, I can answer this real quick for you, love! ^^ ~4

YOOSUNG:

CANDY IS HIS MAIN CONCERN FOR TRICK OR TREATING. DO NOT TELL HIMHE IS TOO OLD.

He’s the type to plan out THE BEST route for trick or treating

also the type to leave you behind because you aren’t walkingfast enough

His favourite candy is… all of it. All of the candy. Hedoesn’t even look.

ZEN:

He’ll go with you because obviously he isn’t gonna let you walkalone at night he doesn’t care if you’re old enough to

All of his candy? Goes to you, of course!

He doesnt normally like to hide his perfect face but he mustadmit, wearing a mask is nice because people dont recognize him! He can enjoyhis night with you!

Doesn’t eat candy (“MC! The sugar can make my skin breakout ;A;”) but if he /has/ to splurge, the dork will eat old-lady-bottom-of-the-pursekind of candy, ya know, butterscotch hard candies! Every now and again, he’lleat a simple piece of chocolate

JAEHEE:

THE DOTING MUM BLESS HER

She holds your hand so she doesn’t lose you and waits at the endof the walkway for you to get your candy! What a mum! Such a beautiful mum plssave her

Goes through all of your candy. She wants you to be safe? Sheknows you can just eat your way through it all without looking. Totally doesn’tsteal some for herself

Her favourite candies are the simple chocolates, like plainhersheys or some generic chocolates

JUMIN:

Has you trick or treat within his building instead of outside.At night. With strangers. No MC, he wants you protected!

That being said he literally provides everyone in the buildingwith a variety of different candies that he knows are your favourites

All of them are king sized. All of them. He won’t let you eatmore than one or two though. Jumin pls

His favourites are the ~fancy~ chocolates, imported fromdifferent countries. This hoe likes those wine infused ones too, smh

SAEYOUNG:

LITERALLY PUSHES YOU OUT OF THE WAY TO GET THE BETTER CANDY ATHOUSES WHAT A BRAT

Kind of like Yoosung, makes a plan and maps it all out, but healso starts the /minute/ the sun goes down

Totally the type to pour out all of the candy for a swap meetwith you. He may have gotten the better candy at the time, but if you want it,he will give it to you. For a price. Usually a kiss.

Favourite candies are the ones he eats mixed with HBC, or theones that have a crunch! (Like butterfingers, Crunch, the works)

JIHYUN:

Just gets dragged along with you but is smiling the whole time

Carries your candy bag until you need it, totally sneaks somesmaller candies from you when you aren’t looking

“What do you mean your bag feels light, MC? I didn’t takeany. Maybe you need to go to a few more houses?”

Loves those fruit chews! Some of them can be a littleoverbearing but he still loves them nonetheless

SAERAN:

One Continuous Groan™

Until you’re about 5 houses into the night then he’s hYPED. He’sracing you to the next house.

You dress up? No one knows who you truly are? /AND/ they giveyou candy? What the fuck? Sign him up?

His favourite candies are whatever your favourites are becausehe likes to be a little shit and eat all of them while giving you this lilsmirk

 VANDERWOOD because i cAN:

It’s time to play: “How many times can Vandy make the ‘tch’noise in a night”

Though they offer to hold your bag the whole time. Also such amum, refuses to walk up to the door

Goes through your candy because they’re Paranoid™, being anagent can do that to you and they just wanna make sure you are safe and happy.Does let you eat as much as you want, so long as you don’t make yourself sick!

Favourite candies are probably those chocolates that have fruityflavours like raspberry or sometimes coconut

Masterlist

[hey-its-ellice]

Zach Werenski- It doesnt look good.

 Request: Hi sweetie can I ask for Zach Werenski? Where he cheat or jealous ? And end up with luffff?💗 thank you so much💗

Authors Note: Hello, Of course! It is a bit long I kind of did both. 

Warnings: Cussing, Cheating, sad Zach, apologetic Zach, jealous Zach.

Featuring: Dylan Larkin.

Song that was slightly used: Whatever it is- Zac Brown Band

“Babe where were you?” Zach asks with a bite in his tone when I reach him. Him leaning against the bar a beer in his hand and a frown on his face.

“I had to go to the bathroom...” I answer unsure of why he was actin that way.

He scoffs at my answer, his eyes rolling.

“I saw you talking to Dylan.” he says looking annoyed.

“Yeah, he needed girl advice.” I reply grabbing Zach’s beer out of his hand and taking a drink, then handing it back.

“Yeah, okay.” Zach mumbles rolling his eyes again.

“How about we go dance?” I ask hoping to lighten the mood. I go to reach for his hand but he quickly snatches his away. I feel a pain in my chest at the thought og him being this upset with me.

“How about you go dance with Larkin.” He says rolling his eyes and turning to face the bar, quickly asking for a whiskey.

“babe, why are you being like this?” I ask 

“Whatever.” I reply walking away to go talk to Dylan to explain why Zach might be hostile toward him later.

“Dyl.” I call over the music while tapping him on the shoulder.

“Hey, (y/n)- wait, whats wrong?” He asks turning around and quickly interrupting himself.

“Zach, is in a jealous mood tonight. Just a heads up in case he looks like he wants to rip your head off.” I tell him with a slight laugh.

“Why would he be upset with me?” Larkin asks while looking over my shoulder toward the bar. His eyes go wide for a second before returning to normal.

“Because I was talking to you earlier.” I reply turning to look at the bar.

“Oh, I need to ask you about something else.” Dylan states, grabbing my attention.

“Dylan, why do you not want me to look that way?”

“I-I-ummm-” I quickly turn and look, quickly wishing I hadn’t. I see a girl grinding against Zach on the dance floor close to the bar.

His hands are on her waist and her arms are around his neck.

“Hey, Dyl, would you mind taking me home?” I ask as I see Zach kiss the girls neck and whispering in her ear, soon after his lips meet the girls.

“Yeah, of course. I will talk to him, okay?” Larkin asks putting his hand on my lower back in a friendly way as he leads me out to him car.

“I’m sorry about you having to see him like that. He gets a little gutsy and stupid when he drinks.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. HE is the one that acted that way, not you.”

I wake up to the smell of bacon and eggs. So, I head out to see who it was, though it was most likely Dylan seeing as he was worried about me last night.

I am shocked to say the least when I see Zach making breakfast, his back turned to me and all the lights off. Probably because he has a hangover.

“Where is that girl? Looked like you were getting pretty cozy.” I ask, a bite in my tone as the rest of last nights events come back to me.

Zach jumps, my presence probably unexpected.

“I wasn’t getting ‘Cozy’, i was getting stupid.” He replies his back still to me. The only other noise being the sizzling of the bacon. 

“You could say that again.” I mumble under my breath.

“Look, I know I fucked up. I was drunk, stupid and jealous. It still doesn't excuse what I did but, I figured at least making you breakfast and us having a date tonight might help?” He asks with a bit of hope in his voice. The rest of what he was saying covered in regret for his actions the night before.

“Zach...-” I start to reply

“Please,” Zach begs, his voice cracking as he turns around.

“I cant have you mad at me.” He finished and is completely turned around to face me. The light coming through the kitchen window showing his tear streaks and puffy eyes that break my heart.

“I need to get ready for work.” I say turning to head back upstairs.

“(y/n)...” I hear as I basically run upstairs. I quickly through on my work clothes and fix my hair before heading back down stairs.

“Your breakfast is on the counter and I packed you a lunch for today.” Zach says looking unsure. His hands playing with the kitchen rag.

“Thank you, Zachary.” I say as I quickly eat my bacon and eggs. before grabbing the lunch Zach had put together.

“Love you.” I say as I walk to the door to leave.

“I love you too, (y/nn).” Zach calls his voice still somewhat hoarse from crying earlier.

“Zach, I’m h-” I am shocked at what I see the whole living room and dinning room is covered in fairy lights. There is a meal on the table as well as music and Zach with a tux on.

“Welcome home, beautiful.” Zach says walking up to me and kissing my forehead.

“Zach, what is this?” I ask looking around.

“My second step in apologizing to you.” He says grabbing my hand and leading me toward the table. He pulls out my chair for me, pushing it in before pouring me some wine. He then moves to his seat.

“I love you.” He says after a few minutes of somewhat comfortable silence.

“I love you too, Zach.”

“I will get the dishes later.” Zach says once we have both finished eating. HE then grabs my hand and leads me to the living room. He quickly puts his phone on the port. The song ‘Whatever It Is’ by The Zac Brown Band coming over the speakers.

“Look, (y/n) I’m bad with words, especially around you, you still make my heart race just by walking in the room, and you make my heart melt just by smiling. This song will explain a lot of things I’m bad at.” He says grabbing my face and kissing my head again.

She's got whatever it is It blows me away She's everything I wanted to say to a woman But couldn't find the words to say

“I’m really sorry for what I did. I’m also sorry for being jealous.” He says his hands on my hips and his head rested against mine, my arms are around his neck the both of us swaying.

“I know. By the way the whole jealous thing it doesn’t look good on you.” I state trying to lighten the mood.

“i know. Can you forgive me?” 

“Yeah. Just please, never do it again, I could never see that again.” I answer my voice cracking at the thought.

“I swear baby girl, I will never do that again.” He replies moving his hands to wipe away the tear that fell down my cheek.

“(Y/n), I have something to ask you.” Zach says sounding unsure.

“Whats up?”

“Will you marry me?” He asks his head still rested against mine.

You know I've never been the type that would ever want to stay Bring 'em home at night and they're gone the next day But that all changed when she walked into my life People ask me what it is I tell them I don't know Just something about the woman makes my heart go haywire She's gonna be my wife

“What?” I ask shocked.

“(Y/F/N), I have loved you for forever, you are selfless, beautiful, caring, sweet, sarcastic, and if I sat here and listed all the things I love about you we would be here forever. You are perfect in every single way, and I love you so much it scares me. The thought of ever losing you scares me so much, so Will you  marry me?” Zach asks again this time down on one knee. A beautiful diamond ring in his left and he holds mine with the other.

“Yes.” I reply. The feeling of the cold ring being slid on my finger brings a smile to my face. 

“I love you so much.” Zach says grabbing my face gently in his hands as he leans down to kiss me. The kiss is slow and passionate, leaving a smile on both of our faces.

Because every time I try and tell her how I feel It comes out "I love you" (I do) You got whatever it is

[shades-of-tedium]

Raylin “Ray” Nadia

Appearance -

Gender: Female

Race: Miqo’te, Keeper of the Moon

Height: 5'3.8"

Eye Color: Green (Peridot-right) and Blue (steel blue-left)

Hair Color: Black with silver/white undertones

The Facts -

Name Day: 4th Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon

Occupation: Adventurer-Jack of Most Trades

Sexual identification: Pansexual

Romantic identification: Polyromantic/demiromantic

Alignment: Neutral/ Neutral Good

Criminal History: She’s not been caught doing anything illegal though she does like knowing things and has been known to use that knowledge to her advantage and to some other’s misfortune. 

Relationship Status: Open relationship, but is bonded to Lilith

Favorites –

Favorite food: Blood Currant Tarts, though loves sweets above most treats.

Favorite drink: Mulled wine/tea, though is a tea fanatic and loves a good spirit or chilled red every now and then.

Favorite artist: She likes hearing music, woodwinds and stringed instruments are her favorites though.

Favorite scents: Tea, petrichor, anything that smells earthy and natural. Though baked goods are always a plus.

Favorite person: Her twin, Lilith, her gaurdian and her friends. She doesnt have just one.

Randoms –

Ten facts about your muse:

⚫ She likes anything that’s considered forbidden, so she seeks out forbidden tomes or cursed objects as a hobby. 

⚫ She loves to read, out of her usual trio of herself; her brother, and her beloved wife, she’s the only bookworm.

⚫ Cannot swim, will never admit it and will avoid being in deep water. She’s fine on a boat, not on anything smaller.

⚫ She has a fascination with plants and their utility and thus enjoys potion and elixir making. 

⚫ Has a green thumb and enjoys gardening and botany.

⚫ Tends to dabble in as many crafts and skills she can practice, so is always busy with something or other.

⚫ She’s a bit of a philanthropist as she’s good at speaking and bartering so seems to donate to anything that peeks her interest without much hesitation.

⚫ She carries a small bone panflue that has bits of metal attached to one side that she fiddles with when she’s out on her own away from other folk.

⚫ She’s slightly envious of those that can sing or dance, so is a bit envious of Lilith and her brother’s singing voices. And their dancing. 

⚫ Has many pets and plants she takes care of.

Five Things -

Things they like: - Learning new trades or skills. - She likes being able to nap and keep her natural sleeping patterns. - Likes to spar and experiment. - Likes getting to know people, so enjoys crowded places such as taverns. - Likes to collect peculiar objects or shiny things. 

Things they dislike: - Being focus of attention. -  Being told what to do.  - Touched by unfamiliar people. -  Gridanians, specifically racist wildwood elezens and hyurs.  - Mushrooms. “Fungus is for poisons and potions, not food” - Raylin

Good habits: - Very patient and understanding. -  Curious and Adventurous - Empathetic and sympathetic. -  Generous. -  Good listener.

Bad Habits: - Is a trickster at heart.  - Implusive, she understands risks but decides to ignore them. - She’s analytical, as is naturally inclined to see how to use information against people, she normally wont do so, but likes seeing the pros and cons to information.  - Easily bored. - Secretive 

Personalities they gravitate toward (depends on the person and how he sees them BUT): - Mischievous people - Secretive People  - Kind People - Intellectual Persons - Anyone that seems intriguing

Personality types they avoid: - Racists  - Snobbish - Religious Zealots -  Narcissists - Nosy Persons

Fears: - Trusting the wrong people - Losing those she cares about - Loosing her collections - Drowning - Being blinded or deaf 

Tagged by: @masked-magicat

Tagging: Anyone who wanna do the thing 

[mysticmessenger-reactions]

Can I have some angst that doesnt end well? With RFA +V and Saeran if possible.

OK here you go just a

ou go just a warning the Yoosung one is really long OK! So buckle up this is gonna be sad. And if this is not what you wanted then pleaselet me know so I can re-write it!

And dear lord you guys are trying to kill these men…and woman.

Yoosung

Between gaming and school he had no time for you. You could understand studying that was a necessity. But every night when he came home you ran to the door to greet him but he would just push you to the side telling you that he was stressed and needed to game to make him feel better. And thats ok the first few times but not everyday. But being the good wife that you are you still made him dinner, did his laundry, and even washed his dishes. But all you got was a ‘thanks. 

 The day of your anniversary came by. You and Yoosung were so happy on the day of your wedding.  Your friends and family were there it was perfect. Part of Yoosungs speech went like 

“MC I promise to make time for you even though I’m busy I will never forget to hang out with you you are not only my wife but my best friend.”  

And in the beginning of your marriage that was true…..for a while. After his classes he would run home and tackle you with hugs and kisses exclaiming how much he missed you. But over the months his excitement faded more and more to the point where you were basically old news. 

“I’ll spend all my time with you my ass” You mock setting the table for a romantic dinner.

 Then the door opens and you run to see Yoosung.  

“Yoosung~” You say cheerfully. “Your home”

 He just looks at you sadly and walks past you. You give him a cold stare. Finally he looks up at you confused. Tears are dripping down your face. 

“Whats wrong MC” He asks. 

“Have you even looked at the chatroom today. He glances at his phone and sess all the ‘Happy Anniversary’ texts theres even one from V.

 “Shit I’m so sorry” He says.

 “Oh, what sorry that all our friends remember our anniversary but you dont. You yell.  “Its just school an-” You cut him off. 

“No, Yoosung its always school you never have time for me anymore” You yell through tears. “You know what I’m calling Seven to come pick me me up” 

Tears are dripping down his face youve never seen him this sad. You pick up your phone and call Seven all Yoosung can do is watch in horror as his wife walks out the door.

Zen

He came home late….again drunk…again. You had enough of this he had been doing this for the past few weeks since his “career took off”. You were happy for him, dont get that wrong. But this excessive drinking and partying was to much for you. You decided to talk with him.

 ‘Hey Zen, honey.” You say sweetly.

 “Yeah MC” He slurrs.

 “I think this drinking is getting out of hand.” You say genly putting your hand on his lap.

 He slaps your hand away and you stare at him in shock. 

 “You don’t tell me what to do woman” He sneers lighting a cigarette.

 “Don’t smoke on our new couch dear.” You remind him.

 “Im the one who bought this thing” He yells.

 “Yes but your wife gets a say too!” You yell back on the verge of tears.

 “Whatever” He says looking off.

 “What happend to the man I married” You say walking away.

 Once you get out the door you call Yoosung.

 He answers the phone.

 “Hello?” He answers sounding tired 

 Yoosung. You sob into the phone

 MC is that you….why are you crying. He says hecticly

 Zen is such an asshole why did I even marry him” You sob

 MC what happened. He asks with a scared tone.

 Ill tell you can you please come pick me up. You say shakily. 

 Ok Ill be there in a minute MC hold on. He says.

 When Zen wakes up the next morning your gone he then remembers what happened last night. 

 He lost his MC.

Seven

 He came back from a mission and you were so excited to see him. He had been gone for about 3 months and you had been so lonely without him. You missed his pranks, his jokes, and just everything about him was perfect to you. He was such a loving husband to you. You were getting ready to go to the airport Jumin was getting you a ride and you were so thankful. When you arrived you told Driver Kim to wait outside. But when you walked in Seven looked awful you could feel the worry and anxiety from all the way across the airport.

 “Seven~” You scream.

 You go to hug him and he flinches back but you wrap your arms around him and he loosens up.

 “I missed you” You sob.

 He smiles but then turns to a frown he looks behind him and hugs you tighter you feel tears go onto your back.

 “MC you have to listen to me ok” He says frantically

 You nod confused.

 “Someone followed me back their extremely dangerous I need you to get as far away from here as possible” He whispers.

 “What? Seven I-I cant leave you” You sob into his chest.

 “MC…please don’t make this harder for me to say goodbye” He hugs you tighter. 

 He pulls way wiping your tears from your face. “MC don’t cry just know that Iove you”

 “I know but-” He start.

 “MC were running out of time please just go” He begs.

 You hesitate but look into his eyes “Goodbye Seven” 

 You run to Driver Kim’s car and get in.

 “Take me to Jumins’s house now!” You scream.

 As you drive away you see an explosion and cry harder. Your Seven is gone forever.

Jumin 

 “MC not now I have to work” Has become a common phrase in your house. He has become almost robotic like he has no emotion at all. Now hes not good with emotions he never was but now he has almost none including love. You were so done so you stormed out the door to take a walk but you saw the headlights racing towards you to bad you didn’t care anymore.

 “MR. HAN MR. HAN” An employee ran into the meeting room.

 “What is it” He says sounding annoyed.

 “Its your wife sh-” He didnt even finish his sentence before Jumin was out the door.

 “Please be ok” He says to himself over and over.

 When he gets to the hospital he immediately runs over to your room. 

 “Doctor please do you know what happened.” He pleads.

 “She got hit by a car” He says quietly.

  “I will sue whoever did thi-” He was cut off.

 “You didn’t let me finish, many witnesses said that it looked like she saw the car coming she stared right at it” He finishes.

 “So your saying she committed suicide” He looks over at her covered by the cloth. “Why MC” He sobs.

 Jumin was never ok after that he often just skipped work and drank wine. The RFA tried to help him but he didn’t want it he just wanted to be alone

 Ok I spent hours on that so please let me do another one I’ll do the ones I didnt do tomorrow ok. 

[the-firebird69]

and i help my sons build New Vegas and he is shilo and is surrounded now we moved several inlast night...and have foundations being built if we have to we move. one casino by s only we surround him.  and moved several in, about ten.   and it is huge each casino dwarfs Vegas Casinos which are vast, ours are ten times the size several million square feet each, about 50 thousand rooms each...tons of space no we have it now..the raili s almost done and lots paved tons of equipment...tons. and we see it is about the future... huge Casinos  and we speak to Hooters they are wiating.....he sits adn thinks...this always goes pop in my face.   we use thier girls in ours. they can go on the outskirts.  no Hardrock they took him for a ride too, we use it now...no to Hooters nope....stole it from our boy and used it on him lots and he hurts still..nah....we f you up too. we have a few in they want to knoow which Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory and it is fully operational and you wear protective gear and enter and sign an agreement noswimming touching even w your gloves and so on y ou may veiw it remotely in the store, and movecameras and all. it is amazing most see it in the store and run to the line.  huge pieces of candy that are edible for aprice you may buy a piece or the whole thing andedible decorative pieces are for sale in thelobbytons of them all different shapes....a favorite the white swan...all candy and fluffy marshmellow mainly, but the kind at easter,and he says it...tons love it...huge ones too that are about the sizeof a giantpolar bear in the shape of men women and more even ofy ou.  tons do it and bring it to tier parties they hvae off campus or in rented rooms or halls tons of halls huge ones. and he will be offered candy bars by bg. tons.  each scanned so they wont let him no want him to and be dissapointed. he doesnt want to go to iether so ou watch ok. Kid Hotel  we named it that.  and it is for you s and your kids your kids now ok.  a baby lamb or soemthing yes.  goat.  and it has the track.  they check first and entered thier cars to be in the ride only a few were selected as were collectors items.  wie hadone.  and th two with him.  we knew....and they loaded up all collectors cars.  old new and the first off the line. tons willride moslty adults at firs to the kid hotel. Auto Mile it is a big attractor he says anchor.  and it is massive.  it has tons of his dispensors and it is usually Pennywise Inc most  think it is these here.  and we hear himno wedont care it is not.  huge too and plenty of showrooms andhis ideas, a track to try them and all feed to it....it is massive, tons like it and hit has a main street you go to and from the  track on. and beep and play loud music.  nad more.....huge with ppl huge. they all go and buy tons of things. his cars too are intermingled and are like Tesla, no, same name only branded differently.  he calls them Thor but are not called that  go and see.  he is a genius with marketing with yours s.  genius.   we have our brands too that are intermingled lots buy them we know what to do with the money Apollo showed us. and it is good.  bg runs Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, and he is happy doing it.  has funny costume as he does in the movie and it is geat tey all love it...says try wait thought a few days too.  then vrooooommmmmm  you will wash away iwth customers....wash away..he laughs and booze there too, tons of candy flavored....and mine yes....for those who need health..he laughs....tons of cars all big four.  all fast car makers.  all specialty, alltrucks up to six tons.  and all other means basically, Harley all japanese and all usa ktm and the trke one and the smallco he liked.  asked they sent some....are a huge hit on the strip...he likes it asked to be in the Man Cave....so he did they like seeing him...and he is like this what am i to do it is buietifiul a bueitiful ride lol. ohno fun. and he runs the Hammer the popular Carnival strength test but right in the middle of th man cave you hear the ding and he chose, the prize, a free room.    the Hammer and bell means your the man...and its yourhammer and night etc.  so not many can. bill hit it right away....and preston...have the swing and arc.  tons laughed it is them.  they won.  saw went at it..... thror tried missed came back jacked an hour or two later andwon. got a roomloved the room too had a great time...beer galore the room is setup like a mancave allof them and you can pick Patriots and so on..not just pillows,chairs and tbles lamps andash trays and much much more you can buy thingsin the room too almostany of them.  amarkenting guru but wethougt of that.  he had itfor a while we did too lots of hft so no Movie Casino and of course bob wanted more and gt it, ceo of the movie casino...a real one and ours.  a drive in or three, huge. roller skated servers.....tons of movie theatres like man caves rentable,headlinemovies in the middle, and more...and we see allare in and weheari t cfo is Enzo fromhere.  and John C Rielly is the Ceo  Death Race Casino and Bar and Raw Bar lori runs the latter saki served there too. ahuge track. she is the CEo and it is massive.  tons of space and huge tracks.  massive and weloadedit allin.  tons of it is fromcali.  huge amounts. and down the street all the refinery stuff  and we see t is like howw ilwe and we know how. massive lines to this one folks it is an alltimefav....and weheard this like Arlen Ness they can buy sign certify and race.  tons like it andneeded the break lol..... we outfit them too.  racin gear customized....and a special request for veep, crazy chicken el polloloco heagreed has sharesnow....and knwe who andwas upset allnight...youi can bo buy a car like the transporter had and outfit it using our stuff, and go and race, get up on the board your name too, tons of stars signedonright away most go for hp first and other stuff later, smart if you canarmor as wieght ruins speed and we know it s true tons of drop plates and more...huge with fans.tons see stars buy one and drive it in traffic it is only outfited the day of the race. not before entreing the pit area...you watch it fromabove andtattoed guys there...and Kat von d has a shop there in New Vegas only two shops now are yours s.  one is  a casion it is Shilo’s  but named Saul’s..and is huge.  he is rich already.  tons go there are comfortable... Bar Cafe is huge too it has so many bars you could choke a thousand small ones pubs from allover Earth are replicated he says a bunch are real lots of real memorabilia from Three Cheers and Bullfinch...and more tons of boston bar memorabelia. a realone here and theretoo.  lost fromnh the strip. huge ones there arefrom all over all clean. decon notnecessary...wekeep it allnice. and ahuge beer factory,allcan see andor tour. it is huge samples at each batch.  and are safely handed out.  no trouble pls or arrested...it is easy no thsor that simple rules.  huge vats of beer. huge. tons arrive. and wine halls thatare massive and cigars and bill is ceo. a huge jobhe says i have to count it andmore tonsof things could g wrongor right.  it is hard. like a factory ihadin lewof this beer thing.  so i am disgruntled.  weill lastonly  afewmonths nah he says it willmove...if need be. wesee it hesays. dontlike it. but im the bar restoring guy who never gavehim  abreak got a job ok.  see how itis  Superhero Bar and Casino  tons of cosplay and all workers are in costume some are s some are not real ones and cosplay all have fun and like it.  occasionally Superman shows, looks real form the last movie series Zod too and co all look real helmets and all. ons love it..huge huge conventions now...huge.  allover Earth they show tons of star wars and Darth Maul allover he is athome now it isterrible again. lol.  huge crowds ovewhealm him andhe hisses at them like the real thing would.  they are shocked he moves so fast and they call thiers security always intercepts, he is agymnist and they move on bt mark him up somehow some stick things to him athey did caa.  huge lines there too to get  in get a room or play the outragesou games wonder women is there....and he got it off the Seminoles, who want him to open a branch there a whole branch....Superhero Branch, says ask Uriel on  a seperate occasion they shall...and will. and they laugh ti will sell Vegas but it is a taste of it and they see he gets it. massive cranes get it done and we plan need land andhe sees.  we work now. tons see it more friendly or appearst o be Jurrasic Park and Casino with real dinasours setup like he said vip pay and get a real view.  others the zoo and it has relics there meaning old lions and tigers and bears no Kaiju. it is very tame but holy crap real dinasours..real. and eat large animals that areskinned anddead.  full cows trex swallows one a day. huge ones too.  fullblownsteer. and he eats allday too. snacks. on chickens andmore.  tons seehim andboast i can kill that and more. and wesee....he likes tosee it live.  it is the dinasour....andhe is the LIzard King andhe has justin as Ceo well justin says he is andi s.  and he is Jim Morrison........and he thankshim but no ok lol. movies yes and a few theatres and tons of film like museums and tons of toys and artifacts for sale and viewing real fossils galore tons...and we see. more there now ok he is tired. Thor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=094MOX6ALMc

[samanthasroberts]

Hockey, weed and taxes? 11 Canadian stereotypes debunked

Canada is often pictured as a uniformly cold, multicultural, socialist paradise full of beer-swilling ice hockey fans. But a close look at the evidence reveals some very different truths good and bad about the Great White North

Its pretty easy to conjure an idea of a Canadian. As one young paramour looking to marry an American told a dating website: She must be willing to become a hockey fan and eat maple syrup and Beaver Tails in my igloo.

Theres more to the stereotype, of course. Canadas universal health care and gun-control legislation are frequently namechecked by American politicians (often disapprovingly), while the countrys adventurers have a long-standing tradition of stitching tiny Canadian flags into their backpacks.

But while some of these cliches are true Tim Hortons really does sell more of its hot brown drink (they call it coffee) than any other restaurant chain a deep dive into the actual statistics suggest that much of the countrys image is just that.

Some of the most common misconceptions about Canada include:

Canadas most popular sport by far is ice hockey

What football is to Brazil, hockey is Canada, right? Between them, the mens and womens national Canadian ice hockey teams won seven of a possible eight gold medals at the last four Winter Olympics.

But while Canadas superiority on the ice remains unchecked, the sport itself is becoming a little more niche at home. A 2014 study pegged ice hockey fourth among 3-to-17-year-old Canadians in participation numbers, behind swimming, soccer and dance. Its probably no coincidence that hockey was also ranked the second most expensive sport to play, and that multiculturalism means a generation of kids less uniformly passionate about pucks.

Meanwhile, the rest of the world is catching up to Canada when it comes to playing the sport professionally: 2015 marked the first time in 98 years when Canadians did not make up the majority of National Hockey League players.

Canadians live in the wilderness

Pierre Berton once declared: A Canadian is somebody who knows how to make love in a canoe.

But there are a few problems with this all-Canadian adage, beyond the obvious issue of tipping. For one, Berton never actually said it. For another, the image of Canadians as a wilderness-dwelling people is not borne out by research: as of 2011, a full 81% of Canadians resided in a population centre, census speak for urban area.

In fact, about 35.2%, or one in three Canadians, lives in either Toronto, Montreal or Vancouver alone.

And if you think the vast majority Canadas city-dwellers love nothing more than to race to the countryside, youd also be wrong: a 2010 poll found that only 23% of Canadians see their ideal vacation as a visit to a cottage or a lake.

Canadians are taxed to death

The status of Canada as something of a socialist darling leads many to assume that Canadians pay income tax rates at similar levels to those in, for example, France or Germany.

Not so, according to the OECDs annual Taxing Wages report. The report ranks Canada 25th out of 34 countries in terms of its tax wedge for single-income earners (a measure of the difference between labour costs to the employer and the corresponding net take-home pay of the employee). By this metric,, Canada is actually slightly below the US.

In the same report, Canada ranked 14th out of 34 in terms of income tax, based on the average national wage. When it comes to corporate taxes, too, Canada is relatively generous the headline corporate tax rate has dropped from 34% in 2007 to 26.5% in 2015, ranking Canada 61st in the world. By comparison, the US ranks fourth.

Canadians are obsessed with beer

There are few images more Canadian than beloved SCTV hosers Bob and Doug McKenzie sitting on a couch and cracking open a few bottles of Molson Canadian while complaining about US-style twist-off caps. The Beer Hunter, an all-Canadian take on Russian Roulette, has long been the nations greatest drinking game.

But while it is true that Canadians love beer they spent C$15.7bn on the stuff in 2011 an increasing number are embracing wine as their drink of choice. As a 2015 report notes, Beer sales as a share of the total sale of alcoholic beverages have been declining for several years.

In 2004/2005, the report continued, beer had a market share of 49% in terms of dollar value, while wine had a market share of 25%. By 2013/2014, the market share for beer had declined to 42%, while wine was up to 31%.

Canada is a haven for pot smokers

Since snowboarder Ross Rebagliati went on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno in 1998 to celebrate the return of his Olympic gold medal after it had been stripped from him because of THC in his blood, Canada has garnered a reputation as weed-smoking haven. The 2001 ruling of an Ontario court that prohibiting the medical use of marijuana was unconstitutional did little to shake that impression.

But although Justin Trudeaus Liberal government promised to table legislation to legalise marijuana in 2017, Canadas medical community and popular opinion are divided on the question, and there are diplomatic hurdles still to clear. Even if weed is eventually made legal, it will likely be sold in set quantities, possibly from government stores, and subject to significant taxes. In fact, the North American nation that has made the biggest strides in legalising pot has been the supposedly drug-averse US.

Canadian hospital wait times are so bad they flee to the US for care

During the 9 October presidential debate, Donald Trump raised some ire north of the border when he referred to Canadian healthcare as catastrophic. Said the now-president-elect: Youve noticed the Canadians. When they need a big operation, they come into the US in many cases, because their system is so slow.

As ever, Trump is manipulating the truth. Canadians do endure long wait times for specialised treatment, and as of 2014 Canada ranked last among 11 OECD countries in terms of how quickly patients can get an appointment with their family doctor.

However, Canadians arent flocking en masse to the US in response. A Fraser Institute report revealed that in 2015 just 1% of Canadians who needed specialised medical treatment sought that treatment in the US.

Canada is a major exporter of comedy stars

Dan Aykroyd, Martin Short, Eugene Levy, Catherine OHara, Lorne Michaels, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Dave Foley. All are Canadians who made it big in America and all are over 50. Whereas comedians were once regularly discovered on shows such as Saturday Night Live, SCTV and Kids in the Hall, the well has been drying up: the success of Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel and Ryan Reynolds is heartening, but Canada is no longer the comedy source it once was.

Though tightened screening at the US border may be partly to blame, the changing way in which we consume comedy bite-sized clips shared online, from acts such as Picnicface and Baronness Von Sketch Show also plays a role. The old model of a breakout US/Canadian TV sketch comedy may no longer exist, says Toronto Second Citys Etan Muskat: The CBC is trying to have breakout mainstream comedic success, following a model that doesnt compute.

Canada is a frigid wasteland

Canada is cold, eh? It has an average daily temperature of -5.6C, making it one of the chilliest countries on earth. But the idea of an average Canadian daily temperature is meaningless. Not only does it combine cities like Regina and St Johns thousands of miles apart, in entirely different climates but it doesnt capture range.

Canadas summer highs are in fact often equal to, or higher than, other major cities in Europe and the US. Winnipeg, for example, which suffers average annual winter highs of -12.7, has a summer average high of 25.8, higher than Paris and Los Angeles.

Canada also has a rich summer culture of cabin or cottage-going to rival the Scandinavians and the dacha-loving Russians. If anything, the brutal winters make Canadians appreciate the summer months more.

Canadas economy is driven by natural resources

Though Canada is the biggest exporter of crude oil to the US and the highest exporter of forestry products relative to imports, the forestry, fishing, mining, quarrying, oil and gas industries collectively employ only 355,000 Canadians, or 2% of the workforce.

In fact, Canadas services sector dwarfs the goods-producing sector by almost four to one. And the third-biggest service employer after retail and healthcare/social services is professional, scientific and technical services, including tech startups like Shopify, Hootsuite and Freshbooks. In 2015, Canadas tech companies produced $117bn or 7.1% of Canadas economic output, greater than that of the finance and insurance industry. As Mike McDerment, CEO of Freshbooks, notes: Its our observation that the economy is being restructured away from resource economy to services and tech.

Canada is a Scandinavian-style social democracy

Though Canada enjoys a strong healthcare system and is consistently ranked among the most livable countries on earth, many assume it is a thriving social democracy in the style of Sweden or Denmark. Not exactly.

Canadian bachelors students pay the joint 2nd highest tuition fees of OECD countries, alongside Japanese and Korean students. Canada also has the 7th highest child poverty rate in the OECD, and, as of 2013, was last in spending on early childhood education and is among the most expensive countries on earth when it comes to childcare costs.

Meanwhile Canadas rich-poor gap is slightly bigger than the OECD average, and the World Economic Forum put Canada in 30th place globally two spots below the US in gender equality measures.

Canada is diverse from coast to coast

The Economist recently pointed out that Canada is a world leader in immigration, both in acceptance and integration, a result of 1971 legislation enshrining multiculturalism. However, most of the resulting diversity is limited to Canadas big cities. Of Canadas 6.8 millions immigrants in 2011, 91% lived in one of Canadas 33 census metropolitan areas (CMAs) Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver compared with 63.3% of people who were born in Canada.

Across the country, skilled immigrants struggle with significant barriers to finding work, such as language and requirements for Canadian experience. In Vancouver and Toronto, many immigrants are increasingly living in inner suburban enclaves, with less access to public transport. At least one geographer, Zach Taylor, argues the isolation and resentment these enclaves can cause helped fuel the populist rise of Toronto mayor Rob Ford.

</me

Source: http://allofbeer.com/hockey-weed-and-taxes-11-canadian-stereotypes-debunked/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/12/31/hockey-weed-and-taxes-11-canadian-stereotypes-debunked/

[allofbeercom]

Hockey, weed and taxes? 11 Canadian stereotypes debunked

Canada is often pictured as a uniformly cold, multicultural, socialist paradise full of beer-swilling ice hockey fans. But a close look at the evidence reveals some very different truths good and bad about the Great White North

Its pretty easy to conjure an idea of a Canadian. As one young paramour looking to marry an American told a dating website: She must be willing to become a hockey fan and eat maple syrup and Beaver Tails in my igloo.

Theres more to the stereotype, of course. Canadas universal health care and gun-control legislation are frequently namechecked by American politicians (often disapprovingly), while the countrys adventurers have a long-standing tradition of stitching tiny Canadian flags into their backpacks.

But while some of these cliches are true Tim Hortons really does sell more of its hot brown drink (they call it coffee) than any other restaurant chain a deep dive into the actual statistics suggest that much of the countrys image is just that.

Some of the most common misconceptions about Canada include:

Canadas most popular sport by far is ice hockey

What football is to Brazil, hockey is Canada, right? Between them, the mens and womens national Canadian ice hockey teams won seven of a possible eight gold medals at the last four Winter Olympics.

But while Canadas superiority on the ice remains unchecked, the sport itself is becoming a little more niche at home. A 2014 study pegged ice hockey fourth among 3-to-17-year-old Canadians in participation numbers, behind swimming, soccer and dance. Its probably no coincidence that hockey was also ranked the second most expensive sport to play, and that multiculturalism means a generation of kids less uniformly passionate about pucks.

Meanwhile, the rest of the world is catching up to Canada when it comes to playing the sport professionally: 2015 marked the first time in 98 years when Canadians did not make up the majority of National Hockey League players.

Canadians live in the wilderness

Pierre Berton once declared: A Canadian is somebody who knows how to make love in a canoe.

But there are a few problems with this all-Canadian adage, beyond the obvious issue of tipping. For one, Berton never actually said it. For another, the image of Canadians as a wilderness-dwelling people is not borne out by research: as of 2011, a full 81% of Canadians resided in a population centre, census speak for urban area.

In fact, about 35.2%, or one in three Canadians, lives in either Toronto, Montreal or Vancouver alone.

And if you think the vast majority Canadas city-dwellers love nothing more than to race to the countryside, youd also be wrong: a 2010 poll found that only 23% of Canadians see their ideal vacation as a visit to a cottage or a lake.

Canadians are taxed to death

The status of Canada as something of a socialist darling leads many to assume that Canadians pay income tax rates at similar levels to those in, for example, France or Germany.

Not so, according to the OECDs annual Taxing Wages report. The report ranks Canada 25th out of 34 countries in terms of its tax wedge for single-income earners (a measure of the difference between labour costs to the employer and the corresponding net take-home pay of the employee). By this metric,, Canada is actually slightly below the US.

In the same report, Canada ranked 14th out of 34 in terms of income tax, based on the average national wage. When it comes to corporate taxes, too, Canada is relatively generous the headline corporate tax rate has dropped from 34% in 2007 to 26.5% in 2015, ranking Canada 61st in the world. By comparison, the US ranks fourth.

Canadians are obsessed with beer

There are few images more Canadian than beloved SCTV hosers Bob and Doug McKenzie sitting on a couch and cracking open a few bottles of Molson Canadian while complaining about US-style twist-off caps. The Beer Hunter, an all-Canadian take on Russian Roulette, has long been the nations greatest drinking game.

But while it is true that Canadians love beer they spent C$15.7bn on the stuff in 2011 an increasing number are embracing wine as their drink of choice. As a 2015 report notes, Beer sales as a share of the total sale of alcoholic beverages have been declining for several years.

In 2004/2005, the report continued, beer had a market share of 49% in terms of dollar value, while wine had a market share of 25%. By 2013/2014, the market share for beer had declined to 42%, while wine was up to 31%.

Canada is a haven for pot smokers

Since snowboarder Ross Rebagliati went on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno in 1998 to celebrate the return of his Olympic gold medal after it had been stripped from him because of THC in his blood, Canada has garnered a reputation as weed-smoking haven. The 2001 ruling of an Ontario court that prohibiting the medical use of marijuana was unconstitutional did little to shake that impression.

But although Justin Trudeaus Liberal government promised to table legislation to legalise marijuana in 2017, Canadas medical community and popular opinion are divided on the question, and there are diplomatic hurdles still to clear. Even if weed is eventually made legal, it will likely be sold in set quantities, possibly from government stores, and subject to significant taxes. In fact, the North American nation that has made the biggest strides in legalising pot has been the supposedly drug-averse US.

Canadian hospital wait times are so bad they flee to the US for care

During the 9 October presidential debate, Donald Trump raised some ire north of the border when he referred to Canadian healthcare as catastrophic. Said the now-president-elect: Youve noticed the Canadians. When they need a big operation, they come into the US in many cases, because their system is so slow.

As ever, Trump is manipulating the truth. Canadians do endure long wait times for specialised treatment, and as of 2014 Canada ranked last among 11 OECD countries in terms of how quickly patients can get an appointment with their family doctor.

However, Canadians arent flocking en masse to the US in response. A Fraser Institute report revealed that in 2015 just 1% of Canadians who needed specialised medical treatment sought that treatment in the US.

Canada is a major exporter of comedy stars

Dan Aykroyd, Martin Short, Eugene Levy, Catherine OHara, Lorne Michaels, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Dave Foley. All are Canadians who made it big in America and all are over 50. Whereas comedians were once regularly discovered on shows such as Saturday Night Live, SCTV and Kids in the Hall, the well has been drying up: the success of Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel and Ryan Reynolds is heartening, but Canada is no longer the comedy source it once was.

Though tightened screening at the US border may be partly to blame, the changing way in which we consume comedy bite-sized clips shared online, from acts such as Picnicface and Baronness Von Sketch Show also plays a role. The old model of a breakout US/Canadian TV sketch comedy may no longer exist, says Toronto Second Citys Etan Muskat: The CBC is trying to have breakout mainstream comedic success, following a model that doesnt compute.

Canada is a frigid wasteland

Canada is cold, eh? It has an average daily temperature of -5.6C, making it one of the chilliest countries on earth. But the idea of an average Canadian daily temperature is meaningless. Not only does it combine cities like Regina and St Johns thousands of miles apart, in entirely different climates but it doesnt capture range.

Canadas summer highs are in fact often equal to, or higher than, other major cities in Europe and the US. Winnipeg, for example, which suffers average annual winter highs of -12.7, has a summer average high of 25.8, higher than Paris and Los Angeles.

Canada also has a rich summer culture of cabin or cottage-going to rival the Scandinavians and the dacha-loving Russians. If anything, the brutal winters make Canadians appreciate the summer months more.

Canadas economy is driven by natural resources

Though Canada is the biggest exporter of crude oil to the US and the highest exporter of forestry products relative to imports, the forestry, fishing, mining, quarrying, oil and gas industries collectively employ only 355,000 Canadians, or 2% of the workforce.

In fact, Canadas services sector dwarfs the goods-producing sector by almost four to one. And the third-biggest service employer after retail and healthcare/social services is professional, scientific and technical services, including tech startups like Shopify, Hootsuite and Freshbooks. In 2015, Canadas tech companies produced $117bn or 7.1% of Canadas economic output, greater than that of the finance and insurance industry. As Mike McDerment, CEO of Freshbooks, notes: Its our observation that the economy is being restructured away from resource economy to services and tech.

Canada is a Scandinavian-style social democracy

Though Canada enjoys a strong healthcare system and is consistently ranked among the most livable countries on earth, many assume it is a thriving social democracy in the style of Sweden or Denmark. Not exactly.

Canadian bachelors students pay the joint 2nd highest tuition fees of OECD countries, alongside Japanese and Korean students. Canada also has the 7th highest child poverty rate in the OECD, and, as of 2013, was last in spending on early childhood education and is among the most expensive countries on earth when it comes to childcare costs.

Meanwhile Canadas rich-poor gap is slightly bigger than the OECD average, and the World Economic Forum put Canada in 30th place globally two spots below the US in gender equality measures.

Canada is diverse from coast to coast

The Economist recently pointed out that Canada is a world leader in immigration, both in acceptance and integration, a result of 1971 legislation enshrining multiculturalism. However, most of the resulting diversity is limited to Canadas big cities. Of Canadas 6.8 millions immigrants in 2011, 91% lived in one of Canadas 33 census metropolitan areas (CMAs) Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver compared with 63.3% of people who were born in Canada.

Across the country, skilled immigrants struggle with significant barriers to finding work, such as language and requirements for Canadian experience. In Vancouver and Toronto, many immigrants are increasingly living in inner suburban enclaves, with less access to public transport. At least one geographer, Zach Taylor, argues the isolation and resentment these enclaves can cause helped fuel the populist rise of Toronto mayor Rob Ford.

</me

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/hockey-weed-and-taxes-11-canadian-stereotypes-debunked/

[circle111e-blog]

Hockey, weed and taxes? 11 Canadian stereotypes debunked

Canada is often pictured as a uniformly cold, multicultural, socialist paradise full of beer-swilling ice hockey fans. But a close look at the evidence reveals some very different truths good and bad about the Great White North

Its pretty easy to conjure an idea of a Canadian. As one young paramour looking to marry an American told a dating website: She must be willing to become a hockey fan and eat maple syrup and Beaver Tails in my igloo.

Theres more to the stereotype, of course. Canadas universal health care and gun-control legislation are frequently namechecked by American politicians (often disapprovingly), while the countrys adventurers have a long-standing tradition of stitching tiny Canadian flags into their backpacks.

But while some of these cliches are true Tim Hortons really does sell more of its hot brown drink (they call it coffee) than any other restaurant chain a deep dive into the actual statistics suggest that much of the countrys image is just that.

Some of the most common misconceptions about Canada include:

Canadas most popular sport by far is ice hockey

What football is to Brazil, hockey is Canada, right? Between them, the mens and womens national Canadian ice hockey teams won seven of a possible eight gold medals at the last four Winter Olympics.

But while Canadas superiority on the ice remains unchecked, the sport itself is becoming a little more niche at home. A 2014 study pegged ice hockey fourth among 3-to-17-year-old Canadians in participation numbers, behind swimming, soccer and dance. Its probably no coincidence that hockey was also ranked the second most expensive sport to play, and that multiculturalism means a generation of kids less uniformly passionate about pucks.

Meanwhile, the rest of the world is catching up to Canada when it comes to playing the sport professionally: 2015 marked the first time in 98 years when Canadians did not make up the majority of National Hockey League players.

Canadians live in the wilderness

Pierre Berton once declared: A Canadian is somebody who knows how to make love in a canoe.

But there are a few problems with this all-Canadian adage, beyond the obvious issue of tipping. For one, Berton never actually said it. For another, the image of Canadians as a wilderness-dwelling people is not borne out by research: as of 2011, a full 81% of Canadians resided in a population centre, census speak for urban area.

In fact, about 35.2%, or one in three Canadians, lives in either Toronto, Montreal or Vancouver alone.

And if you think the vast majority Canadas city-dwellers love nothing more than to race to the countryside, youd also be wrong: a 2010 poll found that only 23% of Canadians see their ideal vacation as a visit to a cottage or a lake.

Canadians are taxed to death

The status of Canada as something of a socialist darling leads many to assume that Canadians pay income tax rates at similar levels to those in, for example, France or Germany.

Not so, according to the OECDs annual Taxing Wages report. The report ranks Canada 25th out of 34 countries in terms of its tax wedge for single-income earners (a measure of the difference between labour costs to the employer and the corresponding net take-home pay of the employee). By this metric,, Canada is actually slightly below the US.

In the same report, Canada ranked 14th out of 34 in terms of income tax, based on the average national wage. When it comes to corporate taxes, too, Canada is relatively generous the headline corporate tax rate has dropped from 34% in 2007 to 26.5% in 2015, ranking Canada 61st in the world. By comparison, the US ranks fourth.

Canadians are obsessed with beer

There are few images more Canadian than beloved SCTV hosers Bob and Doug McKenzie sitting on a couch and cracking open a few bottles of Molson Canadian while complaining about US-style twist-off caps. The Beer Hunter, an all-Canadian take on Russian Roulette, has long been the nations greatest drinking game.

But while it is true that Canadians love beer they spent C$15.7bn on the stuff in 2011 an increasing number are embracing wine as their drink of choice. As a 2015 report notes, Beer sales as a share of the total sale of alcoholic beverages have been declining for several years.

In 2004/2005, the report continued, beer had a market share of 49% in terms of dollar value, while wine had a market share of 25%. By 2013/2014, the market share for beer had declined to 42%, while wine was up to 31%.

Canada is a haven for pot smokers

Since snowboarder Ross Rebagliati went on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno in 1998 to celebrate the return of his Olympic gold medal after it had been stripped from him because of THC in his blood, Canada has garnered a reputation as weed-smoking haven. The 2001 ruling of an Ontario court that prohibiting the medical use of marijuana was unconstitutional did little to shake that impression.

But although Justin Trudeaus Liberal government promised to table legislation to legalise marijuana in 2017, Canadas medical community and popular opinion are divided on the question, and there are diplomatic hurdles still to clear. Even if weed is eventually made legal, it will likely be sold in set quantities, possibly from government stores, and subject to significant taxes. In fact, the North American nation that has made the biggest strides in legalising pot has been the supposedly drug-averse US.

Canadian hospital wait times are so bad they flee to the US for care

During the 9 October presidential debate, Donald Trump raised some ire north of the border when he referred to Canadian healthcare as catastrophic. Said the now-president-elect: Youve noticed the Canadians. When they need a big operation, they come into the US in many cases, because their system is so slow.

As ever, Trump is manipulating the truth. Canadians do endure long wait times for specialised treatment, and as of 2014 Canada ranked last among 11 OECD countries in terms of how quickly patients can get an appointment with their family doctor.

However, Canadians arent flocking en masse to the US in response. A Fraser Institute report revealed that in 2015 just 1% of Canadians who needed specialised medical treatment sought that treatment in the US.

Canada is a major exporter of comedy stars

Dan Aykroyd, Martin Short, Eugene Levy, Catherine OHara, Lorne Michaels, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Dave Foley. All are Canadians who made it big in America and all are over 50. Whereas comedians were once regularly discovered on shows such as Saturday Night Live, SCTV and Kids in the Hall, the well has been drying up: the success of Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel and Ryan Reynolds is heartening, but Canada is no longer the comedy source it once was.

Though tightened screening at the US border may be partly to blame, the changing way in which we consume comedy bite-sized clips shared online, from acts such as Picnicface and Baronness Von Sketch Show also plays a role. The old model of a breakout US/Canadian TV sketch comedy may no longer exist, says Toronto Second Citys Etan Muskat: The CBC is trying to have breakout mainstream comedic success, following a model that doesnt compute.

Canada is a frigid wasteland

Canada is cold, eh? It has an average daily temperature of -5.6C, making it one of the chilliest countries on earth. But the idea of an average Canadian daily temperature is meaningless. Not only does it combine cities like Regina and St Johns thousands of miles apart, in entirely different climates but it doesnt capture range.

Canadas summer highs are in fact often equal to, or higher than, other major cities in Europe and the US. Winnipeg, for example, which suffers average annual winter highs of -12.7, has a summer average high of 25.8, higher than Paris and Los Angeles.

Canada also has a rich summer culture of cabin or cottage-going to rival the Scandinavians and the dacha-loving Russians. If anything, the brutal winters make Canadians appreciate the summer months more.

Canadas economy is driven by natural resources

Though Canada is the biggest exporter of crude oil to the US and the highest exporter of forestry products relative to imports, the forestry, fishing, mining, quarrying, oil and gas industries collectively employ only 355,000 Canadians, or 2% of the workforce.

In fact, Canadas services sector dwarfs the goods-producing sector by almost four to one. And the third-biggest service employer after retail and healthcare/social services is professional, scientific and technical services, including tech startups like Shopify, Hootsuite and Freshbooks. In 2015, Canadas tech companies produced $117bn or 7.1% of Canadas economic output, greater than that of the finance and insurance industry. As Mike McDerment, CEO of Freshbooks, notes: Its our observation that the economy is being restructured away from resource economy to services and tech.

Canada is a Scandinavian-style social democracy

Though Canada enjoys a strong healthcare system and is consistently ranked among the most livable countries on earth, many assume it is a thriving social democracy in the style of Sweden or Denmark. Not exactly.

Canadian bachelors students pay the joint 2nd highest tuition fees of OECD countries, alongside Japanese and Korean students. Canada also has the 7th highest child poverty rate in the OECD, and, as of 2013, was last in spending on early childhood education and is among the most expensive countries on earth when it comes to childcare costs.

Meanwhile Canadas rich-poor gap is slightly bigger than the OECD average, and the World Economic Forum put Canada in 30th place globally two spots below the US in gender equality measures.