#but he always is going to let the child go at the end because keeping the child was NEVER THE POINT

[stoned-frog]

Your wish is my command mr. Freaky profile picture @thespectacularsunnyd (nah but fr your pfp makes me feel...... well it makes me feel something alright but it's not pleasant /silly)

Dream doesn't know rest.

He's been brought back after 494 years right into a war against his brother who is now a multiverse known villain, Dream has emotional development of a literal 6 year old with experience in life FOR ONLY 6 YEARS. IN CANON THE APPLE INCIDENT HAPPENED WHEN THEY WERE 6!!! In my headcanon I spread it out to 16 but the canon version adds more to his tragedy. He's under constant pressure to keep everyone happy, pressured to keep his cheerful persona, he's always stressed, there is always something to do, there is always someone in need of help. When he's given rest he can't sit still, he gets nervous because it's weird for him to not be in a never ending rush or actively helping someone. At one moment his and his friends' lives are threatened and later he has to go around and cheer everyone up like nothing's happened and then he has to clean up Nightmare's mess and then he has to pretend to be 100% positive because everyone depends on him and then he has to plan to stop his brother and then actually execute it and again he fights for his life while still holding onto the hope the Nightmare he knew is somehow still in there somewhere and he has to save him too. He doesn't only blame Nightmare or villagers from dreamtale but also himself, so that adds to the stress of feeling like he has to make up for what he didn't do, feeling like he wasn't helpful enough, sure he helped the villagers but what good did it do when he "ignored" his brother and they died in the end?

This also brings in the topic of how the villagers treated him or rather exploited him for his positivity or overally helpful nature. Both him and Nightmare were taught from the very beginning that their own feelings and needs don't matter, they were assigned roles they have to stick to and it's their fault if they crack. As any golden child a lot was and is expected from Dream and as any high achiever the price he has to pay is constant burnout from overworking himself to do better, be better

It would be common for him to start shaking, rattling his bones, fidgeting with his fingers, scratching his arms, I also think he would pick up smoking, he knows it sets a bad example, not like it's any harm to him specifically, but it calms him down so he often smokes when no one's looking. It also links to his endless feeling of being watched, either by the enemy or literally anyone and he's afraid to show any negativity not to break any poor soul's view on him.

All these feelings bottling up inside also give me a feeling he would often get mad at less important stuff or break down at little inconveniences not because it actually botheres him that much but just because he has to let out all that stress somehow so anger issues Dream? Count me in. I can imagine him either starting to scream at Ink or Swap or hyperventilating to the point of almost passing out.

Another point leading from that. He's an emotional hypocrite. He is the type of person to try his best to only show his good side, never cry in front of someone, never be negative, put his feelings aside for the sake of others but he goes around cheering up everyone and telling them they can cry and no one will judge them, that keeping it inside only makes it worse ect.

Also Dream absolutely smokes weed /hj

Maybe I'll add more later tell me what yall think gang

🌙"Stressful nights"✨

I think Dream would smoke a lot, he has so many responsibilities and pressure put on him he would try anything to feel better even for a little while...

[fancyfeathers]

How would the batfam react to the daughter darling not becoming more cold towards them but slowly starting to distance herself away from them cause she’s suspicious of them? Like she’s sweet to mother darling and so everyly loving and affectionate to the mother darling but the moment Tim walks in she pretends he doesn’t exist.

Daughter darling if she found out the black mail.

Yandere Batfam w/ Wife/Mother!Darling & Daughter/Sister!Darling Masterlist Lmao ya she is about ready to throw hands for her mother, but I think I covered it a bit here

But she is going to be fed up eventually, she had a perfect life with Mother!Darling and she looked up to her mother so much before this all happened, a celebrity, a fashion icon, and yet the perfect mother who always had time for her little girl. Like the time they were at their home in New York City because Mother!Darling, being the well known icon she is, was going to host some sort of party perhaps even something like the Met Gala and she was watching her mama be interviewed before the event proper as she was to be hosting it and the way she carried herself with so much confidence and charisma was amazing.

“Oh I will be wearing a necklace that has been given to me on lone by one of the jewelry houses of Paris.”

“How many carats is it?”

“Enough.”

“Could you buy it?”

“I mean I certainly could, but I rather spend one hundred and fifty million dollars on my daughter and buy her the world rather than a necklace.”

When her mother marries Bruce all that side of her mother goes away, she feels like a dead version of who she wants was, only having energy to care for her little girl who so desperately clings to her mother. She forces smiles for the cameras and laughs for the interviews but she just lets Bruce put on most of the act of charisma she used to on behalf of the happy couple.

She watches everything as she grows up and then by the time she is in her preteens she is painfully aware of everything, secret identities, the behavior. She’s just done with everything and she completely shuts everyone and everything out, especially after she learns about the blackmail.

She attempts to run away, leaving the manor while everyone is out on patrol and Mother!Darling is having some late night tea with Alfred. Waiting at an empty train station and she knows it’s all over when she sees Dick in his Nightwing costume come up to her. Despite her clear anger he is calm and patient with her, sitting down next to her, wanting to talk it out as if it was just a child throwing a fit, but it ends in him forcibly dragging her off while she cries and screams at him.

Now since is is going to find out when she’s older and smarter it isn’t like when she was a child and she had to go the corner for being disrespectful, she actually knows information that could be used against them, their secret identities along with the blackmail. She can try and distance herself all she like that doesn’t change the fact of what is going to happen, strict schedule, when she’s at school she never leaves Damian’s sight because she needs to go in order to keep up appearances (even if they are different ages they can have her bumped up a class or two, work through those grades with extra homeschooling or summer classes), at home she is either in her room under lock and key when no one is with her (and no she cannot be alone with Mother!Darling anymore), and when she is out and about one of her brothers or father is always with her (it is honestly so embarrassing to her when Bruce introduces her as his darling baby girl when she has to go with him into work at Wayne Enterprises, she’s sixteen now, not seven). Then the worst time is after the Justice League knew Batman’s identity and an emergency meeting came up when he was taking her to a museum for a school project so Batman just shows up with this teenage girl who looks pissed off as hell and looks like she is going to bite the next person who treats her like a child.

[myownwholewildworld]

12. MORNING DEW

chapter 11 | ao3 | series masterlist | chapter 13 (soon)

pairing: post-outbreak!joel x f!reader. summary: you and joel need to discuss what the future might look like for the both of you. whether that's together or on your own. a/n: HI! please accept my apologies, i know it's been like a month since i last updated this series. but fret not, here's chapter 12! hope you guys like it. as always, i appreciate comments, reblogs and likes, they keep us writers well fed and motivated! take care, lovelies <3 x warnings: 18+, mdni. fluff, some angsty hurt/comfort. smut because i got my period halfway through writing this. fingering. handjob. oral (m!receiving). edging. soft dom/sub dynamics. brief references to attempted suicide and attempted SA. reader is female, no other description given. reader is mid-late 20s, joel is 37. no use of y/n.  joel’s and reader’s pov. and a special guest’s pov too 👀 dividers by @\saradika-graphics w/c: ~6.5k. taglist aka the drama wagon at the end of the chapter (let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list pls!)

It never seemed to be the proper time to speak to you, Joel thought. Ever since his fuckup last night, he had struggled to find the words, to explain what his thought process was. A few hours ago, he had talked himself into ripping off the plaster and apologise to you, but when he called your name and you turned around with a composed expression, he froze in place.

He didn’t want to lose you too. Joel was afraid he would say something wrong again that would push you even further away from him. And then he would truly be alone, all because of his own actions, his own words. That fear clamped around his throat, preventing him from saying anything. From reaching out.

It was stupid, really. He knew that. Knew you were expecting him to say something, anything. Your blank expression was just a façade, a wall you had built around your heart so he wouldn’t hurt you anymore.

Joel hated himself for it, for your concealed hurt. Hated he had broken that trust between you two and made you feel like he was no longer on your side. He was, always had been, always would be. But he had let fear come between you, an abyss so vast he didn’t think it was salvable. It had to be though ― couldn’t be any other way.

The possibility of being a father again laid in front of him like a path full of dangers. Joel understood how much he could lose, because he had already lost Sarah. How suffocating that experience had been ― still was, every single fucking day.

He was frightened to go through it all over again. Having to hug another dead child of his; having to witness the light flicker away from her eyes. Sarah had been his everything ― his hope, his pride, the love of his life, the reason he would wake up in the morning to go to work, counting his blessings. And it didn’t matter in the slightest how good she was ― she was taken regardless. This world was cruel and unjust and greedy.

But there was also a sliver of hope, of dull excitement, shimmering underneath. One he wouldn’t allow himself to feel.

He still felt like a failure of a father who could not protect his baby girl when she needed him most. That emotional baggage would forever be with him. And he wanted it that way, because it meant he still remembered. This grief he carried was a reminder of the love he held. And he hoped it stayed with him, that she would stay with him.

Joel could still vividly remember digging with bare nails the grave Tommy had prepared for her. Elbow’s deep in the dirt, his fingers reaching for her as thick tears blurred his vision. The wails ripping his lungs apart, leaving his throat raw and tender. And Tommy hugging him from the back, arms clamped around his shoulders ― crying, begging him to stop.

“Little Sarah is resting now.”

“Let her be, Joel.”

“Stop unburying her, dammit!”

“I’m sorry, truly sorry. God I can’t―”

“She’s at peace now, Joel. No more suffering.”

Tommy’s slurry voice still filled his ears. His little brother had tried his best to comfort him, but at that moment in time, Joel had been too blinded by the gut-wrenching pain, the unbearable loss. He never really thanked Tommy for that. Never thanked you for stopping him from killing himself either.

Being an ass to the people he loved, apparently, was his only strength. Just like he had been with you when you needed him most.

Joel watched you as you struggled to unzip your sleeping bag, the soft material catching on the serrated teeth. You yanked the pull, almost snapping it from the slider, mumbling something to yourself.

He covered your tiny hand with a broad one of his, lightly squeezing your fingers.

“Let me help,” he muttered as you leaned back away from him.

Your subtle physical rejection stung, but he knew he deserved it. His hurt was nothing in comparison to yours.

Letting go of the bag, you faked looking for something in your backpack, avoiding his eyes when they searched for yours. Joel felt that the void between you only grew and grew, like darkness gaining ground to the light outside.

Could he mend your relationship? Your trust? Your love?

With careful hands, Joel managed to release the pinch on the fabric and tested that the zipper worked how it should do. When he glanced up at you, handing over the sleeping bag, Joel caught the rawness in your eyes, the slight dampness clinging to your eyelashes like morning dew on a petal at dawn.

It was now or never. He was hurting from seeing you hurt. Couldn’t take it any longer, he just had to say something, apologise to you. Ask to start the conversation all over again. One more second of this and he would lose his goddamn mind.

“Sweetheart, I―,” he managed to say out loud.

“I’m tired, Joel,” you quickly interrupted him. “Just wanna go to bed now, if you don’t mind.”

Your words were like a sobering, cold shower after a few beers ― stopped him right in his tracks before he could even begin to express what he wanted to say. Slightly shocked, Joel watched you fiddling around with your sleeping bag before you got inside it and turned around, facing away from him.

His slack jaw was soon gritting. But that brief anger quickly shimmered away when reality started to set in.

Perhaps he had misread the whole situation; perhaps you were not waiting on him to talk.

Perhaps you were past that ― past him, his bullshit and his doubts.

Perhaps your relationship was truly beyond salvation.

He paled in the face of such possibility, his hands shaking as they gripped his own sleeping bag.

Joel was up almost all night, eyes transfixed on you as his brain worked out all scenarios.

You faked falling asleep, but rest evaded you for hours until you finally gave in to exhaustion. Didn’t last long though, because a couple of hours later, you were, once again, wide awake.

The whole situation with Joel was overwhelming. You had hoped he would come to the car as soon as you left him behind, but he didn’t. Then that night you waited for him to say something, anything, and yet again, he didn’t. Not a fucking word when you both woke up this morning either, except for your name falling from his lips like a regretted whisper. Then complete radio silence and nothing else.

The silence treatment he had given you today was unbearable. Even if your doubts had lingered, pushing you to postpone the inevitable, deep inside you had hoped his reaction would be different. Shocked, yes, but then he would be… perhaps not happy, but at least a bit more excited? And after the shock had worn off, he would have soothed you, calmed you, told you everything was gonna be alright.

Maybe you had expected too much of Joel, your little delusion blinding you. After all, he had already lost Sarah. So now, in retrospect, this announcement might have unearthed bad memories, but especially regrets.

Was that it? Had you unburied his most primal fear? You had been so focused on what laid ahead, you had not stopped to consider what laid behind ― what this would mean for Joel. You had briefly contemplated he could perhaps see this as a blessing or a curse, but didn’t dwell too long on the thought, preoccupied as you were with other pressing matters.

You felt sick and it had nothing to do with pregnancy.

And then, when he had tried talking to you before going to bed, you had shut him down. But you were so tired, so mentally drained, you didn’t have an ounce of energy left to deal with a conversation like that. Because you truly didn’t know what he would say ― he wore such an impassive expression on his face, it was really difficult to tell.

You turned on the hard, creaky, wooden floor and faced Joel. One of his arms was resting on the wooden planks, extended towards you, as if he was trying to reach for you in his sleep.

You were in an abandoned cabin just outside Oswego. It was bare and completely stripped of furniture, but at least had a roof that would protect you from the cold, wet weather outside. It also had a covered chimney, but being so close to civilisation, it had to stay put out. Sleeping in the bag was not ideal, but it kept you warm.

Taking a deep breath, you then felt some sort of cushion under your neck that had not been there before you fell asleep. By touch, you realised it was one of those inflatable travel neck pillows that you had seen people use in airplanes. Frowning, you gathered Joel must have found one and tucked it under your head in your sleep.

You carefully studied Joel’s handsome, weathered face from the safety of your sleeping bag. Even in his sleep, his eyebrows were bunched together, a deep wrinkle ploughing through his skin almost permanently, giving him a worried look. His aquiline nose was buried in the fabric of his sleepsack, his long eyelashes caressing the top of his cheeks.

He would roll his eyes at you every time you called him “gorgeous” or “handsome”, but he really was. You loved to tell him, to help him see through your eyes. You knew he sometimes needed to hear it, to remind him of his own humanity. It was normal to lose sight of it in the current world you lived in.

And you loved him, the whole of him and his ghosts, even though he was a tactless prick sometimes. You had come to learn that when cornered, Joel could react like a beaten dog ― crouched back and showing teeth, ready to bite at the slightest provocation. Couldn’t blame him, even if you tried.

Feeling restless, you carefully unzipped your sleeping bag, not wanting to wake Joel up, and put your boots on. God knew you both needed some rest. Silently you stood up and stretched your back and arms, then one hand mindlessly stroked your belly. It wasn’t swollen at all, but the idea of a life growing inside you sat snugly in the back of your mind.

“What are we going to do, little one?” you whispered to yourself before grabbing your coat.

Needing some fresh air, you walked outside in the middle of the freezing night. It had been snowing, because there were at least three inches of white fluff blanketing the ground. Which meant the car battery could quickly drain and leave you stranded, so you went to check on the hidden Jeep.

Joel’s body jerked uncontrollably, one leg shaking as if he was falling off a cliff. Instantly waking up, he nervously looked around him, trying to recall where he was.

His hand patted the wooden floor in the dark, and when he located your sleeping bag, his breathing hitched at finding it empty. Then he heard the front door creaking, a sliver of moonlight coming through.

Were you leaving him in the middle of the night? Had he completely broken your trust, your relationship? Had he no chance of mending his mistake? Were you so hurt you would go without a word, without saying goodbye?

God knew he deserved it. He wasn’t cut for a relationship; he always ruined it. Should have known better than falling for you and giving in, but you were so warm, so effortless to love, so natural… How the fuck could he not? He was only human after all.

With a deafening pulse in his eardrums, he kicked the sleeping bag off as he got up with jerky, edgy motions, running towards the door to stop you from leaving him. For you he would fight, he would give you a whole motherfucking speech of why he loved you and how sorry he was. He at least had to try.

Joel swung the door open, and a frosty breeze greeted him, his skin bristled almost painfully at the feeling of frostbite.

You were walking through the snow, wrapped in your coat and with the hood on ― you looked so ethereal, your side profile bathed by the moonlight like a night fairy. Your features glowed under the lunar lustre, and he couldn’t help but fall for you even more.

Barefoot he followed you, his soles numb after a few steps through the snowy mud.

“Babe, wait,” he muttered, one hand reaching for your elbow.

You startled at his touch, and Joel didn’t know if it was rejection or that he had surprised you.

Your big, beautiful eyes widened when you saw him there. You wore a tired expression, and he knew himself the culprit.

“Where are you going?” he questioned in a whisper, heart still and lungs empty.

“I―”

“Please don’t go, don’t leave. I can do better. I’m sorry,” Joel stumbled with his words.

Had never felt this exposed as he was about to split his core in half, to undress emotionally in front of someone, allowing himself to be hurt by the only person it mattered.

But it had to be done to keep you by his side. So he did.

“I panicked. I wasn’t expecting― it didn’t even cross my mind that you… well, could be pregnant. It caught me so off guard, the news didn’t sink in. I’m sorry I reacted like a fucking idiot; I know I’ve disappointed you because of it. It’s just… ‘s hard, you know?” Joel swallowed to dissolve the dense knot forming in his throat, “I already had a shot at fatherhood, and I fucking blew it. I couldn’t protect her despite loving Sarah with all my heart, so the possibility of having to go through all that heartache again… I just, I don’t―”

Joel took in a deep, trembling breath as he unconsciously palmed his broken wristwatch, trying to soothe himself. He attempted to read your expression ― your lips pursed and eyes teary. Was he breaking your heart even further? You were about to cry, and he didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad one.

Anxiety was taking hold of his throat and gut, strangling him.

“Look, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m fucking scared, so scared I don’t think words do it justice. But I’m also thrilled, baby, I swear I am. I owe it to you, to myself, to this baby of ours… I ain’t going nowhere. Wherever you go, I’ll follow you both,” he husked, almost breathless. “I’m sorry I said what I said. Neither of us have a choice, but even if we did… I wouldn’t change a thing. This baby is happening for a reason and whatever that is, I’m all in, come what may. I love you, I really do, and I hate myself for having hurt you like this. I just suck at expressing my feelings and―”

You placed a gentle hand on his naked forearm, which made him lose track of what he was saying. Your fingers gently squeezed his cold flesh as you took a step closer to him. Your free hand slid across his left hip, dipping under the tee shirt he was wearing, until it reached the small of his back and you pushed him towards your body.

His taut muscles visibly relaxed at your touch and hug, his lungs filling up as he drew in the deepest breath of his life. Wrapping his arms around you, he held you close to his chest, chin resting on the crown of your head.

“Joel, I wasn’t leaving,” you murmured, cheek nuzzling against him, a tentative smile lingering on your mouth.

Joel’s eyebrows knitted together. From his perspective, it was more than obvious that you were actually leaving.

“Oh? I thought―”

“I was just going to check on the car battery since it’s freezing out here,” you interrupted him, glancing up at him.

Joel pursed his lips together, then licked them nervously.

“Well, everything I said still stands. I am truly sorry, sweetheart,” he said, mouth lightly pressed on your forehead.

A deep sigh after, you took a step back, your hand travelling from his forearm to his fingers, intertwining them with yours. Your palm was so warm in comparison to his, he just realised how little clothing he had on.

“For being a man who “sucks” at expressing his feelings, dare I say you’ve just spoken like a professional orator?” you jested, a grin curling the corners of your lips. “And I am sorry for not being straightforward with you. I was afraid of how you would take the news, and, well…” you shrugged, “you can’t blame me, can you?”

Joel shook his head vehemently. He definitely couldn’t ― the proof was there for both of you to see.

“But I understand how frightening this is for you. I can’t even begin to comprehend how you must have felt when… when Sarah left us. I was so blinded by my own insecurities, I didn’t dwell for too long on how this would affect you emotionally. So I apologise and―”

“Don’t. Don’t apologise, please. That’s a pain for me to bear, you shouldn’t have to think about it.”

“But I do, Joel. I want to bear it with you, so you don’t have to do it alone. That’s the whole point of this, of us. After all, we are going to be a family now,” your voice dropped to a low hum.

A pang of nerves traversed his stomach. No, not a pang, more like… butterflies? Joel had not felt that―the purest form of ecstasy―in a long, long time. The idea of being a dad… it always called him, always felt like that was what he was meant to be, nothing else. Sarah had been the center of his world and while no one could ever change that for him, the possibility of having another child to shower with the love he had buried… it was so overwhelming it brought tears to his eyes, his breathing shallow.

“A family,” he repeated, voice raspy with emotion.

You nodded and laughed, teary eyes too.

“A family, Joel. You’re gonna be a dad,” you snickered, now sobbing.

He couldn’t help but join you, draping his arms around you to bring you against his chest.

He didn’t deserve you, your forgiveness. The second chance you were offering him, in all the senses. A second chance with you. A second chance to form a family. A second chance in life, really.

Joel cradled your flushed cheeks, tilting your face up so his mouth hovered over yours.

“I can’t believe my fucking luck, honestly. You, the mother of my child…” he didn’t finish the sentence because he would choke on his own words if so. Took a second to compose himself. “If I’m ever such a dick aga―”

“Are you planning on being a dick often, Joel Miller?” you said playfully with a cocked brow.

He laughed, feeling completely at ease.

“I hope not. But if I ever attempt to be, just kick me in the balls so I may come to my senses quicker, please,” he replied with a lopsided grin.

His thumbs caressed the apples of your cheeks before bowing down to kiss you. A slow, loving stroke of his tongue over yours and he felt everything was right again. Your sweet taste soothed him, his mind finally at ease. How you achieved that for him with the mere brush of your soft lips, he didn’t understand.

You were the one to break the kiss, pecking his lips a few times before finally taking a step back.

“Let’s go back inside, you must be freezing only with those sweatpants and a shirt.”

And with that, all the anxiety, the mental struggle, was forgotten.

Joel took your tiny hand in his broad one and led you back inside the cabin. Dried off his feet quickly before helping you out of your winterwear and settle back in in the sleeping bag ― his sleeping bag. Luckily it was big enough for the both of you.

You hugged each other, trying to get back to sleep, but both of your hearts were fluttering so hard, it was difficult to ignore the excitement.

“I’m so thrilled right now, I don’t think I can go to sleep just yet. I can’t believe this is happening,” you whispered with a beautiful grin.

Joel couldn’t help but notice how you were beaming now, how much worry you had carried the last couple of days because of him. He felt infinitely better now that the joyful spark had returned to your eyes.

Dragging his thumb across your jawline, tracing an invisible line on your soft skin, Joel tilted your face towards him, his heart swollen with love. He hadn’t felt this alive in ages.

“Neither can I,” he admitted in a rasp.

His right hand roamed your body under the sleeping bag until it found the perfect spot to rest: your belly. Joel splayed his fingers over your lower tummy protectively, wanting to shield you both from any harm.

You hovered one of your hands over his, your palm stroking the back of his hand in a light caress. It felt like such an intimate moment, a respite among all madness and darkness, that he knew he would treasure it forever. When days would become hard, he’d only have to think back to this exact moment in time ― both of you cocooned in a sleeping back, warm and loving, calm and happy.

Fuck, was he happy and grateful. It still felt like a dream, but this was real. You were real. Yes, he was fucking scared out of his mind too, but the joy he was feeling right now eclipsed everything else.

With rough lips, he coaxed yours apart, the tip of his tongue tentatively swiping your teeth so you would let him in ― the place where he felt most at home. And you happily complied with a subtle sigh. Your tongues curled around one another, your sultry taste and sweet scent overtaking all his senses.

Joel felt your hand dragging his downwards and only took him one second to catch on. Soon his fingers were buried under your panties, his hand cupping your mound possessively while his middle finger dipped in your slit ever so slightly to faintly stroke your hooded clit.

Just one stroke.

“Joel,” you cooed, and he inhaled your breathless plea.

“I know, baby,” he hummed back, gifting you with another light stroke.

Your thighs trembled around his hand, and you parted them involuntarily, your body telling him everything he needed to know.

So he obliged, his finger slipping from your clit to your crying hole, gathering the wetness on the tip to bring it back up to your sensitive nub. With languid touches, Joel paid precise attention to your bundle of nerves with his thumb, while his index and middle fingers rubbed your dripping furrow incessantly, his fingertips hitching in your entrance from time to time.

You gasped, chest heaving and back arched, when Joel finally dived those two fingers in your slick, warm entrance. He groaned at your responsiveness, your eagerness, always ready for him. He could never have enough of you; of that he was fucking sure.

Joel nipped your neck, his stubble tickling your skin, then lapped at it while the rhythm of his hand increased. He knew you loved it when he curled his fingers, stroking that heavenly spot that would drive you wild with lust.

Then he suddenly stilled and you grinded your wet pussy against his palm, desperate for release, your hips tilting underneath.

“Joel, please,” you begged in a whisper, your walls clenching around his digits.

“Please what, sweetheart?”

“I wanna come, please let me,” you pleaded with half-lidded, glassy eyes, melting under his touch.

“What a good girl, asking for permission,” he grazed your slack jaw with his bare teeth, then soothed the bite with a kiss. “No, not a good girl, a good momma, aren’t ya?” he corrected himself, his erection swelling at the thought. “Not yet, baby.”

He teased you a bit more, dragging the pleasure, letting it build and coil inside you the way he knew you liked it.

“F-fuck… Joel…” you moaned, his fingers still and deep buried inside you, your hole squeezing uncontrollably.

Your pleas worked, because soon enough Joel was fingering you relentlessly, pumping in and out of you fast ― your gushing cunt making obscene, squelching noises under the sleeping bag. Your moans grew louder as the pace between your thighs increased, your back so arched Joel feared you might break it.

“You can come now, baby,” he spoke softly, knowing you were holding back until you got his permission.

Then your walls furiously fluttered around his digits, choking and clamping and clutching. And Joel fucked you with his fingers through your orgasm, his thumb smothering your clit, applying the right amount of pressure. You keened, breathing heavy, as you came down from your climax, eyes shut and mouth agape.

Joel leaned to kiss you, his wet, pruney fingers still embedded in your leaking hole while your hand teasingly caressed his tummy, his muscles straining in anticipation.

“Feeling calmer?” he asked, the tip of his crooked nose nuzzling your ear as his fingers slid out with a pop.

“Mhmm, way calmer now,” you husked, tipping your face to trap his mouth with yours. “Let me help you relax too, gorgeous.”

A deep rumble coursed through his chest as your tiny fist dove and wrapped around his swollen girth, your thumb gently caressing the leaky head under his underwear.

He was ready just by working you, that was the power you held over him and Joel was fully aware of it. And he didn’t care one bit, he loved that you could get him hard just like that. It was lust, but it was love too; a deep, shared connection ― something he’d not felt before with anyone else.

You pumped him slow at first, your teeth scraping the skin over his Adam’s apple, then his jawline, until you hunted down his lips, swallowing his gruffy moans. Your playful hand stroked him faster, your fingers gripping harder, and he was close to losing his mind.

Then you licked his neck and nibbled his earlobe, and Joel had to summon all strength he could muster to not come there and then. You giggled at his intense reaction ― his muscles so tight he could snap at any moment, his breathing heavier and erratic.

Your hand imposed a devilish pace upon his throbbing cock, jerking him off fast and furious now, seeing how far you could take him before he broke. His balls felt tight and heavy, ready to spill his warm load on your hand.

Joel couldn’t stop groaning even if he fucking tried ― it had only been five days since the last time he fucked you, but those were too many days already. He pursed his lips together, eyebrows knitting in concentration to not come yet, while your mouth ghosted his. A few moans ended up slipping out and you breathed them in as you masturbated him with a tight grip.

And whatever cue he gave you, you knew he was close ― his orgasm imminent. Swiftly you dived your head under the sleeping bag and Joel lost sight of you. You freed his erection and a second later he felt your plump lips seal around his mushroom head.

His hands curled into tight fists, your little licks, taps and laps maddening. Then you suckled the swollen tip as if it was your personal pacifier.

“Holy fuck,” he huffed, shutting his eyes, as your wicked tongue commended him to come, your hand working his shaft dextrously.

Joel couldn’t hold it any longer. With a deep moan, he blew his sticky load in your mouth, and you drank eagerly from him. He felt your plush lips pecking his balls, then his column, and finally the tip, showing gratitude to his softening dick. Tucking his cock back into his underwear, you patted his bulge, gently, for a sweet second.

Then you popped your head out of the sleeping bag with a sinful grin, your thumb swiping across the corner of your mouth to gather a drop of his cum and guiding it back inside. Joel cupped your chin to bring your face closer to his.

“Thanks, baby. Always so thoughtful,” he joked before tasting himself on your tongue.

“Anytime,” you snickered.

You settled across his chest, warm bodies and calmer hearts, and a comfortable silence filled the room. Soon after that, you both fell into a peaceful slumber.

You woke up first, Joel’s arms draped around your shoulders in a solid hug, almost suffocating you. The first morning light filtered through the bare window, casting elongated shadows of the trees outside across the floorboards. Morning dew condensed on the windowpane, frozen like tiny, sparkly snowflakes. Some birds chirped, their melody pacifying. The whole scene was so tranquil, you didn’t want this moment to end.

Loafing about, you nuzzled Joel’s sternum, his thorax slowly rising, then coming down. His heart beat steadily too, so calming it almost lull you back to sleep. Something about Joel sleeping so profoundly made you feel at peace. Both of you had a very much needed rest after a tense couple of days.

You stroked the hairy trail down his belly button absentmindedly.

Joel grunted and stirred under you, his curved eyelashes fluttering a few times before his beautiful brown eyes stared at you. A boyish smile curled the corners of his lips before he closed his eyes again, hugging you closer. Joel buried his nose in your hair, then inhaled audibly.

“As much I’d love to stay here forever with you, I think we should get going,” you laughed, palming his chest.

He groaned, pinching the bridge of his aquiline nose. He wasn’t a morning person.

“Alright. I’ll get up just ‘cause you’re asking nicely,” he conceded, one hand reaching out of the sleeping bag to unzip it.

The cold air hit you both and you regretted your decisions, but if you wanted to find Tommy soon, you were not going to achieve that from this cabin, as idyllic as it felt to be here, in your bubble with Joel.

Half an hour later you were both up and fully awake. Joel was packing away the sleeping bags when he suddenly stopped.

“Fuck. You didn’t check on the battery last night, did you?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

You bit down your bottom lip and shook your head no.

“Shit. No, I didn’t. I, well― got distracted,” you replied apologetically, a nervous chuckle slipping.

“You mean I distracted you, right?” the teasing edge to his voice made you smile. “Don’t worry, love, ‘s alright. I’ll go check on it before we go into town.”

Joel brought you in for a hug, his hands lacing on the small of your back. He brushed his lips against yours in a chaste kiss and you wanted to laugh so badly, you sniggered. This man, pretending to be so decent now.

“What’s so funny?” he enquired, a cocked brow, not letting you go of his embrace just yet.

“You being so gentlemanly and proper now with your decorous kissing, as if you didn’t make me come with just your fingers last night. As if I didn’t eat yo―” you jested bluntly, butterflies filling your belly.

Joel growled at your provocation, interrupting you, his hips flush with yours.

“That nasty mouth of yours is gonna be my downfall one of these days,” he muttered. Then he kissed you, his tongue quick and ravishing. “Enough. Stop being so damn tempting.”

He let go of you, taking a step back and turning around. You took the opportunity to smack his ass before he walked off with a smirk on his lips.

You stayed inside, gathering all the bits and stuffing them back in your backpacks. You were going to venture into Oswego today again, stake out the town and the area where Joel thought Tommy and his group would most probably be.

Shuffling through your belongings, you found the pregnancy test you took a few days ago. The digital screen was still displaying the positive result ― one you dreaded, but then embraced.

In the span of forty-eight hours, you thought your relationship with Joel had crumbled down and reduced to nothingness, to then come back stronger like a phoenix rising from its ashes.

The look on his face when he thought you were leaving him still haunted you ― you hoped he would forget that feeling sooner rather than later. His confession had tugged at your heart so much, you had forgiven him after the first sentence. But you had let him keep on talking, because the self-indulgent part of yourself wanted to hear him say all those things. It wasn’t often that Joel Miller would make use of his mouth to verbally express his feelings.

You smiled to yourself, tremendously happy with how the situation had turned out in the end.

Throwing your backpack over your shoulders and Joel’s hanging from one arm, you walked outside with the pregnancy still on your hand, daydreaming ― your grin now permanently sculpted into your features.

Then you heard a voice you quickly recognised.

Tommy’s.

You froze halfway through the three steps on the porch, your gaze scanning the area until you found them.

Joel had a very schooled expression, almost blank, while Tommy frowned, gripping a shotgun close to his chest.

“You’ve been following me?” the younger Miller asked, visibly upset.

“Yes, we have, you dickhead,” Joel replied, his voice restrained. “You just left a―”

“We?” Tommy scoffed, taking a step back. “You’ve not ditched her body yet?”

Joel’s hazel eyes found yours, still glued to the steps. A silent plea for you to go back inside, sensing this would not end well. And you tried ― you took a step back to run back into the cabin, but Tommy was quicker.

Tommy turned around and almost jumped back as if he had seen a ghost. Probably because he thought he had.

You raised your hands up, showing him you were no threat.

“Hey, Tommy,” you greeted him with a feeble smile. “If you keep pointing that gun at me, I’m gonna start thinking it’s personal,” you joked to diffuse the situation.

“Tommy,” Joel’s firm voice made his brother looked at him askance, his pupils fixed right back on you. “Hey.”

Joel’s fingers wrapped around the barrel, pushing it down so it wouldn’t point at you anymore. You could see Tommy’s stiffness from the distance, ready to do whatever it was necessary.

When Joel yanked at the shotgun, Tommy broke eye contact with you to stare at his brother, not letting go of the shotgun.

“How’s she alive?”

“It’s a long story, bu―”

“She’s fucking infected. You’re fucking infected!” he screamed in a panic, stumbling back with his own feet and then directing the gun back at you.

Joel tried to approach him while you stayed as still as possible, your breathing hitching. Would he shoot? You hoped not, but he looked scared enough to do so.

“Tommy, listen to me―” Joel attempted to talk to him again.

“What’s that you’re holding?” Tommy snapped at you, ignoring his brother.

You paled. You had forgotten the pregnancy test was on your hand, lost as you were in your train of thought when you had walked out of the cabin.

No words left your mouth ― your orbs quickly found Joel’s. Both of you, frightened to death. Not for yourselves, but for your baby.

Tommy wouldn’t hurt you, would he? Unconsciously, your free hand dropped to your belly, wanting to protect this new life you were harbouring, growing.

Tommy’s façade fell, his jaw slack.

“You’re PREGNANT?!”

Joel reacted first, standing in the way, the barrel kissing the center of his chest. Then he pushed Tommy back, his composed expression gone. He was angry, you could tell. Really angry. You had only seen him that irate the night those two men almost raped you.

“If you ever point that gun at her again, I swear to fucking God, I’ll kill you myself with my bare hands, Tommy,” he growled.

Tommy blinked rapidly, his resolution coming back as he cocked the gun again.

“You both have lost your fucking minds,” Tommy scoffed, walking backwards towards the woods. “Don’t follow me anymore. Leave me the fuck alone.”

A minute after, the younger brother disappeared between the trees and Joel rushed to your side, his anger transforming into urgency.

“We gotta go.”

His words were impregnated with the same panic you were feeling.

Unbelievable, Tommy thought.

Had his brother gone mad? What the fuck was he thinking? And how were you alive? What kind of sinister magic was that?

He had so many unanswered questions, his head throbbed with an impending headache. Tommy needed the distance and the time to think this through. At first, he had been elated at seeing his brother after so long, but the excitement quickly shifted the moment he saw Joel accompanied by you. And fucking pregnant, by the looks of it.

Shaking his head, Tommy hooted like an owl, letting the people keeping watch know that he was approaching the two houses they all had been living in. The two buildings were on the forest boundary, far enough of other homes but close enough to town.

Bursting in through the doors, Laney met him in the corridor, hands on hips.

“So?”

“They are here. And what’s worst, she’s alive and pregnant,” Tommy almost spit the last word out.

Laney’s scowl deepened.

“Pregnant? Like, with a fucking zombie-like monster growing inside of her?”

The emphasis on that specific word made Tommy frown. He wouldn’t go as far as to say that. Laney could be a little dramatic sometimes.

“Well, I don’t know. No, I don’t think so? I mean, she looked fine, so I guess―” Laney walked past him, interrupting what he was saying. “Where are you going?”

“On patrol. Need to go into town for some supplies.”

“Need a hand?”

“No. Stay here, keep watch.”

And with that, she stepped out and closed the door behind her, leaving Tommy in the middle of the hallway with a nagging doubt picking at the back of his brain.

@yesjazzywazzylove-blog @pedrospurplerain @missladym1981 @fancyyoouu

@smolbeanzzz @guelyury @bishtrouille @harriedandharassed

@thepalaceofmelanie @eternallyvenus @theoraekenslover @vickie5446

[strawberri-blonde]

Chocolate Milk with a Side of Cuddling - Rafe Cameron

summary: you just want to love on the person who you love the most

warning: allusions to sex; maybe some cussing words

authors note: I love my baby daddy Rafe and idc who knows

materlist

You and Rafe had only started dating recently after months of yearning from both sides. You finally decided to stop letting fear of his past control how you felt about him, and once you did, you wished you’d let yourself have him sooner.

Rafe is everything you’ve ever wanted in a partner. He looks out for you in so many ways, from always keeping his hand on your lower back when you go out with his friends or to the local grocery store, to constantly texting you to check up on you or letting you know what he’s up to (even though you share locations). He does little things like putting his hand on the end of a table when you bend down so you won’t bump your head. He surprises you with presents despite you saying you don’t need all of it, always responding with, “I like knowing my girl is wearing things I bought her.” And after that, who could turn it down?

He’s also a great lover in the bedroom, always putting your needs before his own, pulling you to the peak of ecstasy over and over again before his own release. He even always cleans you up and makes sure you pee afterward, and while you finish freshening up, he’ll make you your favorite snack: chocolate milk with apple slices (peeled, of course) with peanut butter. He teases you by calling you a child, but that doesn’t stop him from learning the perfect ratio of milk to chocolate syrup and that you like green apples best with crunchy peanut butter. But if you could change one thing about him, it would be that he doesn’t let you love him the way he deserves and how you desperately want to.

After refreshing yourself, you put on one of his shirts and removed the huge king-sized blanket that you both referred to as your sex blanket because it was mainly used to protect your sheets from the mess (you) made. Once you bundled the soft fabric up, you threw it in the laundry basket and crawled back into bed. As you settled back on your side, Rafe returned to the bedroom with a tall pink glass and a small pink sauce plate. His boxers hung low on his hips, making you blatantly stare at his v-line. “Damn, that’s a four-course meal right there?”

Rafe smirked as he walked over to your side of the bed, setting the cup and plate on your nightstand. "Nah, more like a snack from burning all your energy," he said with a wink.

You chuckled, wrapping a hand around his wrist and pulling him closer until he was standing right by the bed. You shifted your position so he was standing over you, looking down with that playful glint in his eyes.

You let out a hum and kissed the dip in his abs. "Wasn't talking about the apples," you mumbled against his skin, feeling him slightly stiffen from your affection. Luckily, he's been loosening up to you some.

"Is that right?" His voice was full of confidence as you kissed up as far as you could reach, then wrapped your arms around his warm waist and tilted your head up, resting your chin on his chest. "I didn't give you enough of a fill, baby? Need me to grab my own midnight snack?" Rafe kissed your forehead and cupped your face in his big hands, making your stomach churn with butterflies.

As his lips were about to touch yours, you lightly dragged your fingernails down his back and grabbed his wrist. "You know I can't get enough of you," you murmured. Rafe kissed you deeply, and you happily accepted, but you pulled back to let out a yawn, making him laugh as you blushed.

"Maybe you can then?" he teased.

You both settled into bed, of course, after you had your snack and drink (Rafe helped you eat some of the apples). As the darkness enveloped you both, your eyes locked onto the back of his head, feeling a sense of warmth and contentment.

You wanted to be close to him. You guys didn’t cuddle much, but tonight you wanted to change that. Slowly, you shifted closer to him and wrapped your arm around his waist, making Rafe look back at you through the darkness.

"What is it, baby?" he asked softly. You shook your head and kissed his bare shoulder.

"Just wanted to cuddle tonight."

This seemed to catch his attention because he turned over, and you pressed a hand to his chest. He looked at you with a questioning expression and hesitated. "We've been together for three months, and we don’t hold one another. I want to love on you, Rafe, and not just when we have sex. Do you... do you not like to cuddle?"

He looked embarrassed, which was so unlike the confident man you knew. "I've never really done that. I mean, most, if not all, of the girls I've been with were just physical."

You hummed at his confession, trying not to get jealous because he was with you now, not them.

"And my mom died when I was little, so I haven't really felt what it's like to have someone hug me just because they cared."

His confession made your heart clench, and you rubbed his chest in slow, small circles.

"I care, Rafe. I love you." The room grew quiet, and Rafe kissed your lips as gently as ever, then hesitantly wrapped his arm around you.

You kissed him back and slid your hand down his chest, wrapping an arm around him as well. "Let me show you how nice cuddling someone you care about can be." He nodded, and you gently pushed him back so he was laying on his back. You kissed him softly, then trailed those kisses down to his chest. Finally, you laid your cheek against his skin, feeling the warmth and steady rhythm of his heartbeat. You wrapped your arm around him, nuzzling into his warm body, creating a cocoon of comfort and love.

Rafe was unsure as his hand slowly rubbed your back, seemingly not knowing what to do with his other one. "Don't think about it too much, baby," you whispered into the dark room. "It's just me and you." Your thumb traced gentle circles on his skin.

Finally, he linked his arm with yours, his hand gripping your bicep. You let out a content sigh and kissed the skin beneath your cheek. "You're the perfect man, Rafe. You take care of me so well. I just wish you'd let me take care of you too."

He was too quiet, so you looked up and noticed tears in his eyes, reflecting the soft glow from the plug-in diffusers in the room. "Rafe, what's wrong?" you asked gently, trying to pull away, but he held you close, not wanting to let go. "If you don't like this—"

"I've... I've never had someone love me the way you do, baby, that's all," he said, his voice breaking with emotion. He kissed the top of your head tenderly, and you reached up to brush away the few stray tears on his face. "It's just overwhelming, in the best way," he added, his eyes searching yours for understanding.

You cupped his face in your hands, your thumbs gently wiping away the tears. "Rafe, you deserve all the love in the world. I'm here for you, always," you whispered, your heart swelling with affection. The bond between you felt stronger than ever, wrapped in the warmth and intimacy of the moment.

"I love you, Y/n," he whispered softly.

He kissed your forehead again and settled into the bed, tightening his grip around you, making you sigh in contentment. The two of you basked in the silence and warmth of each other's embrace, savoring the feeling of being so close.

"I know that I love you more," you replied, your voice full of affection.

"Impossible," he murmured with a gentle smile.

It had taken three months to get Rafe to cuddle, but now, wrapped in his arms, you felt like you had all the time in the world to make up for it. The journey had been worth it, and you knew that every moment from here on out would be filled with the love and closeness you both cherished so deeply.

But you also couldn’t help but think… Take that past bitches.

dividers by @cafekitsune

[technovillain]

*Imagine there's an anon ask from roughly a year ago here asking me to share "what campers I thought become Psychonauts/what each of them end up getting up to when they're older" here. Imagine it cuz it got deleted randomly. T_T

BACK ON MY PSYCHONAUTS KICK THAT MEANS ITS TIME TO ANSWER YEARS OLD ANON ASKS LET'S GO!!! I have better story ideas for some more than others here...but if you're curious abt what I've written abt any of them, I encourage you to pry, that way I can think abt it harder and develop them further :]

Putting them under the cut, cuz breaking them down will be Long.

Let me preempt this section with this thought: every former camper of Whispering Rock ( save for maybe a few bad eggs ) is offered a job to work for the Psychonauts agency once they're of employment age. That's what you get for going to Secret Government Agency Summer Camp as a kid. You get weird letters in the mail for life. But hey, nice job, maybe?? In addition to this, particularly talented campers with high psychic aptitude and teamwork skills are offered a shot at the Intern Program at the Motherlobe.

Razputin becomes the superstar agent he always dreamed of becoming. He would pick it anyways, but at this point it's almost like he wouldn't have a say, with the way that the organization has sort of relied on him since he was 10 years old. I think he learns the hard way how much doing field work, like actual danger situations not just inside someone's mind, can take a toll on you quickly. Eventually he ends up taking a break, a "sort of running away from it all" type hiatus from agent work to go back and work with his family's circus again. No matter what happens, he always ends up going back and forth between these two things. Completed the intern program and specializes in Clairvoyance (much to his dismay) and favors Blastokinesis in the field.

Lili ends up in a situation similar to Raz, what with being very tied up with the organization from a really young age (even younger for her). But she gets the bonus points of stress of "being a Zanotto working for the Psychonauts means you'll probably end up in some big important role someday...doesn't it?" I'd argue that Lili would fall into the realm of trying to keep her image spotless and becoming a real precision agent, getting really good in high-stakes crisis situations. Was an intern for longer than anybody else, and specializes in both Herbaphony and Pyrokinesis.

Dogen is a training field agent for a while but has a bad accident and basically goes into hiding... He goes through a really similar thing to Compton, but he isolates himself so much that he really starts to scare other people. He starts to search for a way to make himself "un-psychic" and this gets him accidentally involved with some dangerous forces who are looking for an 'in' to mess with the Psychonauts. He struggled his way through the intern program as a teen and maybe sort of didn't really graduate it. Obviously Blastokinesis is his speciality, but in the field he did his best to repress that entirely and was a Mental Shield assisting agent.

Bobby goes through a whole arc of recovery and finding out his family lore. It's worth mentioning that I hc Loboto to be his father, and he lived with his grandparents growing up, and eventually got kicked out of that house. With nowhere to go, the Psychonauts as an organization pretty much ended up raising him. It takes a whole psychic village to raise a horrible little child. He still can be a jerk but he's a good guy now... Did the intern program, begrudgingly, because he "had nothing better to do". Specializes in Blastokinesis and Pyrokinesis.

Crystal gets her life turned around with the help of psychic outreach programs in her young teen years. She was taken on as an agent for a while, but finds her passions lie with helping others. She ends up working at Psychoisolation, helping active agents to recover from the things they've seen. Does most of her work inside the minds of other psychics. Specializes in Mental Connection.

Kitty becomes the big breakout "spotlight" agent that everyone has heard about, even being well known in nonpsychic circles. She has a full blown Hollywood celebrity vibe, despite the fact that none of her coworkers act that way and (most) at the agency don't view her that way. She's still a messy person. She's very hot and cold, wishy-washy, does whatever she wants. Has a complex relationship with Razputin, and consequently, Lili too. Maintains a mostly unrequited facade of an "Agent Rivalry" between her and Elka Doom. Completed the intern program with flying colors. Specializes in Hypnosis/Confusion and Electrokinesis.

Elka becomes an agent. She's always on the verge of about six different breakdowns. She keeps her image mostly clean and mysterious to the outside observer. Despite living her life waiting for impending disaster she still tries to stay on the side of good. She becomes an iconic "write about her in the comics" agent with a difficult relationship to her psychic powers... Completed the intern program at a young age. Specializes in Precognition.

Vernon works under Adam Joseph Gette as Psychic historians for the agency for a while as part of his internship. Eventually he decides to branch out, getting really into photography and field research. He becomes fascinated with the Rhombus of Ruin and its tales of disappearance and mystery. He gets approved for a reconnaissance mission there with Elton Fir (and Benny Fideleo too...kinda.) Completed the intern program. Isn’t a regular field agent but works at the Motherlobe. Specializes in Astral Projection.

Elton never lets go of his sailor aesthetic, but he kind of has no choice, because Hydrokinesis and Zoolingualism (namely with fish) are his specialty. He still harbors feelings for Milka, despite things becoming...really complicated. Recently he's been working with his buddy Vernon in the depths of the Rhombus of Ruin, trying to uncover the mystery of the Psilirium there. He was never in the intern program, he worked in a shipyard until being offered a job from the Psychonauts. Being their marine mission specialist has really boosted his confidence.

Benny really thought his job working for the Psychonauts would be cooler. But he isn’t allowed to work in the field because he can’t get over his *ahem* panic reactions to danger. He failed every test he was given. He’s just a chicken. So much to his dismay, he has to stay back at base. Behind a desk. Watching blips on a screen in the Nerve Center. Blahhh. There aren’t a lot of transmissions to come back from the dead radio zone of the Rhombus, but when they come through?? He’ll be ready. Flunked out of the intern program. Doesn’t get to use his psychic powers much, except using TK to mess with people when he’s bored.

Mikhail ditched Maloof. And he was probably the only one to ever do that and live to tell the tale. Went back home for a while, but came back and did the intern program when he was a little older. Specializes in Telekinesis but now has a special Zoolingualism tie to bears. He's a good guy agent, sure. But he absolutely will Sic The Bears On You.

Franke never grew out of her “yes-man” tendencies. In fact, it could be said that she leaned into them tenfold. She has taken it upon herself to work as an “assistant” to the superstar agents, doing physical, emotional, and my god janitorial duties for them. She focuses mainly on Kitty and Elka, but she’ll suck up to anyone. Lili wishes she would hit the bricks. Franke doesn’t use her powers often on account of having something Ford dubbed “psitanium sickness” flareups on the regular. Basically, her brain accumulates a lot of psitanium, but for whatever reason, she doesn’t have the firepower to dish it back out as psychic energy. So it builds up in her head. Gives her freaky purple eyes. So routinely, agents will go into her brain to farm psitanium. And she loves it.

Clem, after drifting apart from Crystal, kind of just fell to pieces. Home life was not good, so the job offer from the Psychonauts was refreshing. But what is Clem’s job exactly?? Does anybody know? Does moping ominously in the Quarry and making everyone really anxious count as a job? Does talking to a very very old woman in the Gulch about having an identity crisis count as a career? Who’s to say! “Specializes” in Mental Projection.

J.T. becomes the new groundskeeper at Whispering Rock. Never was in the intern program, was offered an office job. Worked it for all of 2 months before he felt crazy. You can’t put this cowboy indoors. He’s a much better groundskeeper than Ford was. He actually prioritizes keeping the kids safe, and they all love him. Hangs out with Mikhail every now and then when he comes to help tame psychic forest animals, and the two get very nostalgic about their summer camp days. Specializes in Levitation.

Maloof becomes a psychic crime boss. Obviously. His mother has a lot of sway over what he does. He has a serious man-child thing going on, so he doesn’t act a whole lot differently than he did as a little kid. Which only makes him more freaky. He holds a lot of grudges against the people who feared and doubted him as a child. Specializes in Mental Projection.

Milka’s bouts of invisibility got worse as her home life soured even more. As a teenager, she tried to join the intern program and better herself, but she developed a real problem with running away from things that were good for her. She dated Elton again as a teen, but ran away from him. She ran away from the Psychonauts as a whole. Simply disappearing into the wind, extremely hard to track. Everyone worries about her. Nobody knows exactly where she is. Some are convinced she actually disappeared somewhere and didn’t just go invisible, as nobody can even track her mental footprint anymore... Specializes in Invisibility.

Chloe is doing her own thing. There are a number of agents who were given the task of “keeping an eye on Chloe Barge” to make sure she doesn’t become some sort of large scale threat or something. But nobody ever really knows what she’s up to. It’s probably got something to do with aliens. And psychic activity. But what the heck is it?? Never joined the intern program, but visited the Motherlobe a couple of times as a teen to use the psychoisolation facilities. Specializes in Photokinesis.

Chops drifted away from the whole psychic scene and got into homeopathic medicine. Keeps his powers on the down-low, and uses them behind people’s backs. Maybe a little shady for blending his light psychic knowledge with plant knowledge and branding it as ‘medicine’, but he means well. There just isn’t a lot of interest in psychics from the Canadian government, so he’s leaving it alone for now.

Phoebe is still working on her music career, and has become a relatively successful indie rock star. Quentin never was taking it seriously enough for her, so they moved on. She was offered a lot of gigs from Morris, but is trying to make it “in the regular world” and declined most of them. She struggles to keep her Pyrokinesis in check still, and it heightens her anxiety on the road, only making it more likely for flareups to happen. Her band members know that she’s psychic, but she doesn’t want to tell anyone else. She calls Lili a lot and she helps Phoebe learn to control her Pyro.

Quentin is running a little farm in Green Needle Gulch. His produce and *ahem* herbs are loved by all sorts of Psychic clientele. He really isn’t interested in any of the agent stuff, or paperwork stuff, he’s just kinda...zooted, idk. Just chilling, and a lot of the more uptight government types in the organization cannot stand that he’s allowed to hang around the gulch.

Nils went to prison on multiple accounts of stalking. He’s still in there. I don’t think anyone misses him, but I’m sure there’s a few people who worry about him getting out. Sort of a looming “it’s only a matter of time before he breaks out and becomes a huge threat” villain. Specializes in Cryokinesis.

[dreamdragonkadia]

a/n: Something something Percy and vacation, because we all know the poor guy deserves a break. For some reason, I have this entire short series of Percy and his partner in Hawaii floating around in my head. Surfboards, shaved ice, and a lot of sunburn jokes (because you know Nico would never let this go). Honestly, it’s the idea of him being both so in his element with the water and so hilariously out of his depth when it comes to the whole “vacation” thing.

daughter of hades! reader

For as much as you were your father's daughter, the sun seemed to give you the perfect tan—unlike any other child of Hades. (RIP Nico, your lobster-colored skin will never be forgotten.) At least it usually did. This time, you were pretty sure you'd leave the water with a good sunburn, judging by the relentless warmth soaking into your skin. But you couldn't bring yourself to leave your surfboard. Not with the way your sunglasses fit snuggly on your nose, nor when the waves were so perfect, lapping against your legs and carrying you with a kind of ease you'd been craving for weeks.

This whole trip was a much-needed vacation after weeks of college exams and late-night stress eating. The only thing keeping you sane during those grueling study sessions was the promise of seeing Percy again. Long-distance relationships were complicated as hell—ironic, given your family ties—but somehow, the two of you made it work. Even going from opposite ends of the world to just two states away hadn't magically solved the struggle of missing him every single day. But him attending New Rome University did make things easier when it came to shadow travel.

So, when your semester ended, you made it your mission to convince your boyfriend that a trip to Hawaii would solve all your problems. It was the ultimate win-win situation. You got a week on the beach, Percy got to try out his water skills in style, and both of your families got a much-needed break. Plus, it wasn’t every day that the son of Poseidon got to show off in the Pacific. Plus, this whole trip was going on Daddy's credit card anyways.

The sound of a familiar laugh cut through the rhythmic crash of waves, and you glanced toward the shoreline. Percy stood there, grinning ear to ear, holding what looked like a painfully large plate of shaved ice. He waved it in the air as if to say, Hurry up, or I’m eating this all myself. Typical.

"You're lucky I like you," you muttered to yourself with a grin, lying flat on the board and paddling toward the beach. The salty spray stung your eyes, but it was worth it. Every second you spent in Hawaii with Percy felt like another little reminder of why you'd fallen for him in the first place. His effortless charm. The way he somehow always made you laugh, even on your worst days. And, of course, how he absolutely refused to stop teasing you for being a "walking contradiction."

"You're Hades' kid," he'd said when you first arrived, eyes sparkling as he watched you grab a lei of bright yellow plumerias. "Aren't you supposed to, like, hate the sun or something?"

You’d shoved the lei into his face. "We don't all brood like Nico, you know."

The water rushed around your ankles as you pushed the board closer to shore, and Percy handed you the shaved ice with a cheeky smile, already plotting something—you could tell by the glint in his sea-green eyes. Sure enough, as soon as he sat down, he used his powers to send a gentle wave rolling up behind you, pushing the board—and both of you—back into the ocean. "Took you long enough. I thought I’d have to send a search party."

"Oh, please." You rolled your eyes, trying to steady yourself while digging your spoon into the colorful mound. "I’m not the one who spent half an hour arguing with the guy about blue raspberry being superior to pineapple."

"It is superior," Percy argued, unrepentant, pressing his legs against either side of yours. "I’m just spreading the truth."

"Spreading lies, you mean," you shot back, handing him the bowl, then, with a content sigh, you lay back against the board, letting the gentle rocking of the ocean drift your mind away.

How the two of you managed to fit so perfectly on the surfboard was a mystery, especially considering that Percy was anything but small. But somehow, it worked. Maybe that was just...you and him. Always finding a way to make things fit, no matter how chaotic or improbable it seemed.

“We should do one of those couple massages the hotel offers,” Percy muttered, breaking the peaceful silence. You felt him lean forward against your legs, his voice a warm rumble as the waves continued to lap softly around you. “Mom and Paul got one this morning, and she said it was worth it.”

So that’s why Sally and Paul had left Estelle with you two earlier. Not that you minded. Estelle adored both of you, and you couldn’t say no to that little face. The memory of her tiny fingers tugging on yours that morning as she lay between you in bed brought a smile to your lips. She had giggled uncontrollably every time you’d snuggled closer, her bright laugh filling the room in a way that made your heart feel impossibly full.

“She’s the best, isn’t she?” Percy asked, as if reading your mind.

“Definitely,” you agreed, a fond smile curling your lips. “She didn’t even cry when I accidentally dropped her pacifier. Just gave me this little side-eye like, ‘Really? You’re supposed to be the responsible one.’”

Percy barked a laugh, the sound so genuine it made your chest ache in the best way. “Yeah, that’s my sister, all right. She’s already better at judging people than I am.”

“Low bar,” you teased, nudging his side lightly with your foot.

“Hey!” He grabbed your ankle in mock indignation, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You wound me.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, the sound blending with the soft crash of waves around you. Moments like this—peaceful, playful, with no looming monsters or world-ending crises, or college essay's due—were rare, and you wanted to soak in every second.

“So,” Percy said after a moment, letting go of your ankle and leaning back again, placing the bowl of already half eaten ice in the empty space under your legs. “Massages or no?”

You hummed in thought, pretending to deliberate even though you already knew the answer. “Fine. As long as this sunburn doesn't kill me tomorrow."

“Ah, yes, finally you will achieve that lobster burn like all children of Had—” Percy started to laugh, but you didn’t let him finish. With a quick shove of your leg, you pushed him off the surfboard, sending him tumbling into the water.

There was a startled yelp, followed by a loud splash, and then silence. For a moment, the waves lapped peacefully, as if the ocean itself was holding its breath.

Then, with a dramatic gasp, Percy resurfaced, water dripping from his soaked bangs as he propped himself up on the edge of the board. His nose was inches from yours, his sea-green eyes narrowed into an exaggerated pout. “Hey! What was that for?!”

“For daring to slander my superior tanning skills,”

Percy squinted at you, water glistening on his skin. “You know, I could just flip this board and end this little truce right now.”

“Percy, so help me, if you try—” Your words were cut off as he leaned forward, slotting his mouth against yours.

The kiss was warm and salty, the ocean’s spray clinging to both of you as his hand found your cheek. For a moment, the world stilled—the waves, the sky, the sun—all of it fading into the background as his lips moved with yours. All that mattered was Percy, his touch, the quiet certainty that he was yours, and you were his.

When he pulled back, his grin was back in full force, all smug and playful. “That’s what I thought,” he said.

You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to keep your expression serious, though the heat blooming in your cheeks probably gave you away. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“Lucky?” Percy quirked an eyebrow, sliding back onto the board with practiced ease. “Babe, I’m a catch.”

You groaned, pushing the shaved ice back into his hands. “And now I’m regretting everything.”

“Liar,” he teased, bumping his knee against yours. The two of you sat there, the surfboard rocking gently beneath you. You let out a long sigh, resting your head against Percy’s shoulder, your fingers idly trailing through the cool water beside the board. “You know,” you said after a beat, “I think this might be the longest we’ve gone without a sea monster showing up.”

“Don’t jinx it,” Percy warned, his voice light but carrying just enough seriousness to make you laugh. “The last thing I want is a giant crab ruining my shaved ice.”

“Or ruining our massage plans,” you added with a small grin. “You’re still treating me, by the way.”

“Treating you?” Percy shot you a faux-offended look. “I’m the one risking my life out here. You’re the one who almost drowned me.”

“You fell off,” you corrected, snickering as you felt his gaze on you. “I just… gave you a little nudge.”

“Yeah, sure,” he muttered, shaking his head, but the way his arm wrapped around your waist told you he wasn’t really upset.

The two of you drifted for a while longer, the sounds of laughter and waves filling the air. As the sun moved across the sky, Percy glanced at you, his eyes softening. “Thanks for this.”

“For what?” you asked, turning to meet his gaze.

“For... making everything better,” he admitted, his voice quieter now. “Even when stuff sucks, you somehow make it less sucky.”

You smiled, leaning into his warmth. “That’s what I’m here for.”

Percy grinned, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Well, good. Because I’m not letting you go.”

You smiled up at him. “You’re stuck with me, Seaweed Brain.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[toto-the-cactus]

Eat up, yall starving lunatics. More Papatarion for the books since yall feel kinda tender for this man <33

Summary: Mortarion's approach to fatherhood 2.0

Pairing: Mortarion x Reader (Female)

CW: Mentions of pregnancy

Little and Precious (Part 2)

Mortarion wasn’t a fan of going through every little report that needed to be addressed by him after any sort of deployment from the Legion. It seemed too meaningless in comparison to other tasks that needed most of his attention.

So far, it was a drag having to oversee the next resupply of the dreadnoughts even when his gene-sons could go for long periods of time without needed them, but neglecting his duties could lead to terrible consequences he rather not have to contemplate when the ones in the line were you and his daughter.

The fact that you had understood and even tried to help on the workload made Mortarion wheeze in amazement because how had he managed to find someone like you in this wretched universe?

You’ll be the end of him.

While overseeing one of the many dataslates on his desk, the Primarch heard the door opening and closing just as fast. A light shuffling approached behind him, but Mortarion pretended to not see or hear anything and kept himself occupied while a twitch graced his scarred lips in an attempt to hide a playful smile.

There was a breathy giggle and immediately the partial silence of the room came back as if nothing happened.

When Mortarion looked at the pile of dataslates on his right, he noticed a freshly cut yellow flower above them. It was very innocuous in nature and contrasting in a manner that made the Pale King blink a few times in bewilderment.

He still found surprising how silent and fast his girl could be when she wished to.

The Primarch then heard the shuffling again to his left and right there on his desk rested a pile of hard candies of different flavors.

“Hmm… It seems a spy has entered my private chambers” he said with a serious tone despite the gentle smile on his face. “Where would they have gone?”

Mortarion made a show to ignore the giggling behind his chair and simply checked under the desk to left and right, his smile only widening at the sound of snickering when he sillily checked under the dataslates to keep the play.

The mighty Primarch can only imagine how much his Legion would be both confused and perplexed at his behavior, but the demigod had spent enough time with you and his daughter to start understanding the soft edges he could possess too with his family.

The sweet silliness that accompanied the toddler’s laughter made any sense of shame or aggravation be forgotten at the sight of happiness from the girl. What would have been a slight towards his person, now it made something tender spread over his ribcage.

Of course he always made sure not to make a fool of himself in public, but no one was blind to the gentleness Mortarion displayed towards the little lady of the Death Guard Legion.

It was a good thing his daughter had the same approachable and warm disposition that her mother possessed, as she had managed to have pretty much any astartes graped around her little fingers without realizing.

The Pale King hummed, tapping patiently on his desk until his precious girl let her guard down and swiftly scooped the toddler with his two hands under her armpits, all while she shrieked in laughter.

His little girl always loved to be raised in her father’s arms.

Mortarion went ahead and sat himself along the child on his lap, grabbing the yellow flower over the dataslate and settling it behind his daughter’s ear to decorate her hair.

“I thought you were with your mother, my little bud” he extended one of the hard candies to the toddler, who sheepishly accepted the offer while swinging her little legs.

“Mama got tired and went to sleep” she explained idly in that sweet tone of hers, but Mortarion noticed some dejection too. “I just feel a bit sad that mama can’t play with me like before because of my little sister being in her belly…”

Ah, so that’s why his precious lady had wandered here.

The second pregnancy had been a huge and scary surprise just like the first time, as you two and some apothecaries had believed that the first one had been nothing short of a miracle.

Mortarion wouldn't say that he felt disappointed at the result, but he could see now what other effects were starting to have an impact on his little girl in a terrible manner. Your due date was just a month away and rest had become nothing short of obligatory at this point, so he understood where the frustrations of his daughter seemed to arise from.

This was the kind of stuff you would usually be dealing with, as the Primarch still had a hard time understanding a proper approach to the simple concerns a small 4 year old would have.

He was the imposing and protective father while you managed the complexities of baseline human feelings his little flower may experience.

This was a territory he never expected to cross.

“Well… my little bud… I know right now it’s hard since it's only been you around us… but once your little sister is born, you know who else she will need to guide her and protect her?”

She looked expectant at the answer. Big childish eyes drinking every word from him.

“It will be you. When your Mother or I can’t be around, your little sister will be counting on you to take care of her… at least, until he grows and can protect herself”

The once dejected look on her face regained a new light of understanding. Little fist balling the beautiful fabric of her purple dress while looking now at him with one can only describe as unshakable determination that made something inside Mortarion choke a bit.

“Then I’ll be the best big sister ever! I’ll help mama and-and I’ll help you too papa, then…!”

His precious daughter seemed to have gotten quite the fire on her rambling now. Going on and on about the things she wished to do once the baby was born and even making plans at which of her favorites astartes will be allowed to help protect her future younger sibling.

Never in his wildest dreams, Mortarion believed he’ll be granted such wonderful moments.

This is me while I wrote this shit at midnight

[hsnlv]

jealousy | s.jy

a/n: this is actually based on this tweet because honestly, i do see him as someone who WILL get jealous but whatever you say sim jaeyun🤭 oh and! if you read from my page often, it would be nice if you can leave some comments on what i should improve on and how!! ily have a great day ;)

(cut to story)

jake always had this self-assured air about him, claiming jealousy had no place in a relationship. “if you trust someone, there’s no reason to feel that way,” he’d say with a smug grin, like he’d figured out the secrets of love. right?

wrong.

this man is confident—too confident—but the moment he’s in love, he turns into a completely different person. sure, in theory, he thinks he can handle it. but in practice? he can’t even stand the thought of other guys existing around you, let alone looking at you like you hung the moon.

“jake, are you serious right now?” you groan, watching him sulk in the corner of your shared couch. his lips are pushed into the most dramatic pout, and while it’s usually cute enough to make your heart flutter, right now, it’s testing your patience.

“stop it, y/n,” he grumbles, refusing to meet your eyes. “he was staring at you, practically drooling like some kind of idiot.”

“okay? and how exactly is that my fault?” you cross your arms, your glare fixed on his moody figure.

“it is your fault!” he whines, finally turning to look at you with those ridiculous puppy-dog eyes that make it impossible to stay mad for long.

“how exactly?”

“you’re too pretty. what was he supposed to do? not look at you?” he stomps over to you like a sulking child, his shoulders hunched as if the weight of the world is on him.

you sigh, your annoyance slowly melting into amusement. “didn’t you used to say jealousy wasn’t a thing in a relationship? what happened to that wisdom?

“that was before!” he shoots back, throwing his hands up dramatically. “i didn’t know i’d end up dating someone like you! cut me some slack.”

before you can reply, he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close until your back is pressed against his chest. his head rests on your shoulder, and you can feel his pout shifting into a soft smile as you instinctively reach up to cup his cheek.

“you’re ridiculous,” you mumble, though your fingers move gently against his skin.

“maybe,” he says, his voice quieter now. “but you’re mine, my love. i don’t care what i said before. i don’t want to share even the air around you with anyone else.”

your heart softens at his words, and you turn in his arms to face him fully. his face lights up when your hands move to cradle his cheeks, his smile brighter than the sun.

“you’re not gonna lose me, okay?” you whisper, your thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. “i’m not going anywhere. i love you too much.”

he grins, leaning into your touch with that boyish charm that always makes your chest ache in the best way.

“promise?”

“promise.”

before you can say anything else, he dips his head to press a kiss to your forehead, then your nose, and finally your lips—so sweet and soft that it makes your toes curl.

“you better,” he mumbles against your mouth, pulling back just enough to look into your eyes. “because if anyone else even thinks about stealing you away, they’re in for a fight.”

you laugh, the sound light and airy, and his smile grows wider at the sound.

“fine,” you say, pressing your forehead to his. “but only if you stop pouting every time someone breathes near me.”

“deal,” he says, though the mischievous glint in his eyes tells you it’s a promise he probably won’t keep.

[kanansdume]

The Mandalorian switched from writing a story following the arc of Ice Age (2002) to writing a story following the arc of Shazam (2019) in-between seasons 2 and 3, and this is why a perfectly satisfying ending to a two season miniseries got ruined.

[laniidae-passerine]

Honestly I think Dean Highbottom has some shit to answer to as well. The mockery, the derision, the outright admittance that he was hoping Coriolanus would fail and the Snow family would continue to suffer. How someone who loathed the Games still treated a young man with cruelty because of the past, because of social divides that would be so easy to tear down. In the end, it wasn’t just Gaul who shaped Snow into the man he became. So bitter and hateful. So incapable of compassion and forgiveness. Just like his father. Just like his Dean.

[tiffanylamps]

i apologise to my mutuals for who i become every wednesday after watching ted lasso i just love that show. I LOVE IT.

[slvttyplum]

satoru as your baby daddy… is something else. he is going to make sure his presence is known by all means. there is not a day when the both of you are not talking, and kids, you realized that it annoyed the fuck out of you. 

you knew what he was doing, and it made you so mad because it was lowkey working. 

he was the baby daddy who was still in love with you and was real delusional about you, and he knew that you knew that. every time your child stayed over at his place, he always had to text you.

over any minor thing, he was calling your phone

and the one little conversation about your child led to a conversation about what panties you were wearing. 

even though you tried to convince yourself that satoru was bothering you and was still in love with you, which he was, doesn’t mean you ever stopped fucking him.

how could you when he put it down so good that he made you pop a baby out. the dick is too good to give up, and you recognized that.

at the end of the day, satoru was satoru and had his ways of doing things, as did you, but the one thing that both of you could agree on was sex. 

that man knew how to roll his hips, slap your ass, and touch your sweet spot until your toes are curling, and you’re crying out his name repeatedly. 

the way he fucked you and had your legs behind your head made you want to keep having his babies back to back, that’s how good it was.

it’s like he was practicing how to fuck whenever he wasn’t with you, he almost had you addicted, but sometimes you had to resist. 

y’all were grown as hell. the both of you couldn’t just keep fucking each other at your old age, y’all had to go out and find people who fit y’all wavelength, but lord… he had you on your knees, literally. 

sucking him up at 8 am in the morning. when you were supposed to be mad at yourself and disgusted by your behavior, you were giggling and kicking your feet, i mean come on? 

you were single with a full-time job and a child; you needed that stress reliever, and he was the best one. 

at the end of the day, he was your favorite man to play with, and he let you because he loved the fuck out of you. you were playing at the moment, but you’re the only one who had his baby and no one else’s. 

ever since y’all went separate ways, you didn't go on any dates. so he knows the way he was putting dick in your stomach, and you and your child were going to be right in his bed in the next few months. 

[chuluoyi]

✎ daddy-to-be

- gojo satoru x reader

in which you're worried about how he'd react to you carrying his baby

genre: fluff and comfort, mentions of pregnancy and dizzy spells

note: i feel soooo warm writing this *sigh* thank u anon who asked this!

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

"Gojo-sensei! Must we do this?"

"For real?!"

"Okaka..."

"Yoohoo! Hehehehe~"

You sighed at the sight of your tall paintbrush of a husband. Satoru was supposedly teaching his first years—Maki, Panda and Inumaki—and yet, from where you were standing, it looked more like he was bullying them into following his whims more than anything.

A kind reminder that… this silly man is the father of your unborn child.

He didn't know that you were pregnant yet, because you had discovered it just a few days ago and chosen to keep it a secret for the time being.

In theory, this was normal. You two were married and engaged in a high level of sexual activity—something Satoru made sure of—and therefore, conceiving a child was bound to happen sooner or later.

Admittedly, accepting the fact that you were carrying his baby wasn't as easy as you thought, even knowing that. You hadn't seriously talked about having kids, and sure, your husband might have just taken a young cursed boy Yuta into his care—and way before that, Megumi, but it wasn't the same with your own child. It can't be the same.

And not to mention that you two were jujutsu sorcerers. Where would raising a baby fit in this bloody, cursed world you lived in?

...and above all, as things stand now, does Satoru even want a baby?

You released another sigh as you walked away, but then your vision tipped and you had to grab the wall for support. Right, you hadn't even been feeling well these past few days. You got queasy easily, and you experienced sporadic bouts of vertigo too.

"Sensei?" Yuta's worried voice greeted you, and you forced yourself to remain upright. "Are you okay?"

"Ah, yes, I'm fine," you assured him with a smile.

"Should I get Gojo-sensei? You seem pale..."

"No, no, that's—"

"Ooh~ Wifey!"

You cursed his impeccable timing as the striking white hair of your husband came to view. A mischievous grin adorned his face, a bundle of sunshine and trouble as always, as he wrapped an arm around you.

"Don't you have to teach the second years? My pretty wife, you can't be slacking—"

His smile abruptly fell when you subconsciously leaned on him and he noticed your shallow breaths. Satoru promptly tightened his grip on you.

"Yuta," his tone had taken a sharper turn. "Go to the training grounds and train with the others. Class ends after that."

As Yuta nodded and proceeded on his way, he immediately turned to face you. "What's wrong?" he asked with genuine concern. "Are you not feeling well? Can you walk?"

"I'm fine," you insisted, even though the edges of your vision started to blur.

Satoru pursed his lips, and you could tell even with his blindfold on, he was staring at you hard. "Don't be stubborn. Come on, let's get you home."

In an instant, he teleported you back to your shared home, his arms securely under your knees. You didn't know when the dizziness started to ramp up, but you were sure to fall if he didn't have a secure grip on you.

"How long have you been feeling unwell?" he inquired as he carefully lowered you onto your bed.

Realizing there was no point in hiding it any longer, you squeezed your eyes shut as your head rested on the soft pillow. "...since this morning."

Satoru expressed his dissatisfaction with a grunt. "In that case, you shouldn't have gone to school. From now on, you're on leave."

He fussed over you—removing your shoes, fine-tuning the air conditioner, and ensuring you were snug in bed. "What is causing you to feel this bad? Is it something you ate? We had dinner together, and I feel perfectly fine..."

You raised your gaze to him just as he tore off his blindfold, his eyes locking with yours. The blue of his eyes scrutinizing and assessing you, and suddenly, you felt insecure as he quirked an eyebrow, seemingly suspecting something. “Is there something you aren't telling me?”

This is it. You couldn't keep this from him any longer. This was his child as much as yours, he had to know for you to be able to decide on the next steps.

You exhaled. "I'm… pregnant."

Silence. For the next five seconds, you could've sworn that Satoru held his own breath.

"Pregnant?" he repeated, stunned, widened cerulean marbles blinking several times. "You...?"

You sat up, reaching for your nightstand and retrieving the five pregnancy tests you had stashed in the drawer, handing them to him.

Satoru fixed his gaze onto the two red lines on the sticks, examining them and then shifting his eyes between you and them several times. You didn't dare to look at him, feeling your hands starting to shake and your gut twisting.

But contrary to your dread, before you could blink, he pulled you into his embrace. Your heart melted as he softly murmured, "Dummy, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I... I was worried. I didn't think I..."

He nuzzled into your neck, breathing in deeply. "Silly... I'm supposed to be your safe space. You can and absolutely should tell me these kind of things..."

A lingering fear persisted in your gut as you croaked out, "Are you... okay with it?"

Satoru snapped his head so quickly, his brow furrowed. "What do you mean—of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?"

You didn't know why, but his impromptu and steadfast declaration brought tears to your eyes.

"Stupid," he chided, his voice tinged with slight giddiness and overflowing fondness, and doubled with the wide grin on his face, you were starstruck. Holding your hand, he pressed a tender kiss on your knuckles, and then on the wedding band resting on your ring finger.

His sincere, warm eyes spoke volumes as he said, "You are my beautiful, lovely, and amazing wife. And now you're about to make me a daddy. Why wouldn't I be thrilled about that?"

You had given him love that saved him in countless ways, some of which you might not even realize. And now, you were about to gift him another piece of you to love—his own family to cherish. Satoru was convinced he couldn't love you more than he did in this moment.

You cried even harder, wiping your face sloppily as you pouted at him, voice clogged with tears, a mixture of relief and happiness overwhelming you. "Why are you so s-sweet? You're u-usually... such a menace..."

"Hey! That's slander! I'm always nice to you!" he protested with a mock frown, trying to lighten the mood.

Satoru brought you into his arms again, affectionately stroking your hair. His excitement was palpable as he chuckled gleefully at the very idea of becoming a father to a mini-him or you in a not-so-distant future.

With that sentiment in mind, he genuinely meant every word of what he softly uttered in your ear:

"I love you, sweetheart. And mark my words—with everything I have, I won't let anything happen to you or our baby… I swear it."

[lemonlover1110]

𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐀…

Sukuna

Pairing: Trueform!Sukuna x f!Reader

Summary: Sukuna comes to terms with the idea of having a daughter with you.

Warnings: MDNI, smut, vaginal fingering, anal fingering, double penetration, creampie, pregnancy, slightly ooc but still a misogynist, fluff at the end

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

“What the hell are you doing?” Sukuna squints his eyes, looking down at you as you knit something for your baby girl. There’s no way of actually knowing the sex of your baby, but something tells you that you’re expecting a daughter. Sukuna negates the thought, assuring you that you’re carrying a son. He can’t possibly have a daughter, he’s always saying something along those lines. 

“Just making a little something for our child.” You inform him, and Sukuna frowns. Your child is not going to wear something so pink because they’ll be a boy, Sukuna is sure of it. He snatches the cloth out of your hand and tosses it.

“Why pink? Are you saying we’re having a girl?” Sukuna questions, and you cross your arms. You look up at your husband, mad that he's tossed your hard work to the side. 

“You have pink hair, Suku… Are you a girl?” You cock your eyebrow, and he’s not amused. He crosses both pairs of arms, rolling his eyes. Maybe he shouldn’t associate colors with a certain gender because you are right, he does have pink hair… But he also knows that you’re making a pink blanket because you think you’re having a girl.

“Make a blue one.” He orders, and you glare at him. You shake your head in response, you’re not making a blue one. He grits his teeth, grabbing the blanket that he just tossed to the side and shredding your hard work to pieces. 

“Keep an eye open tonight, because when you least expect it, I’ll strangle you.” You warn him, and you’re dead serious. It’s clear that you’re carrying his child, you’ve never threatened to kill him before. 

“If you even come close to it, I think I’ll fall more in love with you.” He chuckles, walking away, leaving you alone with your own anger. You let out a yell, cursing at him because the twinge of fear that you had for him completely faded a couple of months ago. 

He holds no threat to you anymore. Sukuna wouldn’t have done anything to you anyway, since he hates that he loves you so dearly, but the realization that you carry his child and he’ll do no harm to you really gives you much more power and comfort. Sukuna finds humor in a very nonthreatening person, threatening to do something to him; especially when he knows that you can barely lift yourself up anymore.

He knows that you won’t even come close to succeeding in hurting him, and he laughs in amusement at the mere thought. But you’ll get him back, you know you will.

“I thought we were going to spend the day together?” Sukuna asks as he watches you get ready to go out. You never invited him anywhere, so he was shocked to hear that you weren’t at home. He isn’t well liked in public, there’s just something about being huge, having four arms and being extremely scary that people don’t like. Sukuna can kill anyone without a second thought. 

“I thought so too before someone ruined the blanket that I was making for my daughter… So I had to get the materials to make it again.” You tell him, and Sukuna nearly gasps when you drop the d word. You’ve always refused to call the baby your daughter since you have no idea what the sex is, but it seems like you use it to piss him off. You click your tongue when you notice his reaction, “What? You’re so overdramatic. You’ve killed for fuck’s sake, why is saying daughter so scary to you.”

“Because we’re having a son!” He yells, getting defensive about it. You don’t understand why he gets upset at the mere suggestion that he’s having a daughter. Before you got pregnant, Sukuna never seemed to care about the gender of a hypothetical baby– Although you shouldn’t be shocked since your husband isn’t exactly the most fair when it comes to different sexes… Sukuna is a misogynist, that’s what you’re trying to get at. He treats all humans with the same disdain, but particularly women. It seems that you’ve forgotten because he doesn’t treat you the same way he treats everyone else.

“Sukuna, we’re having a daughter.” You reiterate, and you watch his eye twitch. You’re doing it to piss him off, he knows it, yet it’s working. “You wanted a baby, Sukuna. You knew there was no guarantee that you’d be having a son, but you still decided that you wanted one. You can’t cry about having a daughter.”

Sukuna takes a deep breath, surprisingly managing his anger well. He decides to leave the room, leaving you alone to do whatever the hell you want. You fuel his anger even more, yelling at him, “And don’t come back until you fix your attitude!”

You stare off into the distance, your hand resting on your bump. You begin to wonder what Sukuna will actually do, and you can’t do anything but hope that he’ll come around to the idea because you know Sukuna. He isn’t good whatsoever, he won’t hesitate to hurt her, even if she’s his own flesh and blood. You’re not sure you could stay by his side if he were to do anything, but you wouldn’t really have any other option either.

You decide to go to sleep, because thinking about it further won’t really help you in any way. You delude yourself, thinking that he’ll come around to the idea.

A large pair of arms wrap around you, waking you up from your slumber. Sukuna does it to try and be romantic, but he nearly suffocates you. You slap his arm, telling him, “Loosen the grip–”

He loosens his grip, which lets you know that he wasn’t trying to kill you. Thankfully. Sukuna would never do anything to harm you, but sometimes you swear you don’t know him much. It’s very rare when you get a heart to heart with Sukuna where he actually talks about him, he usually prefers to listen to listen, and to threaten anyone in the stories that offend you in the slightest.

“Can I say something without you getting mad?” You begin, still half asleep. Sukuna furrows his brows. Due to his lack of answer, you decide to speak, “You’re overreacting.”

“I just don’t know what I’d do with a daughter.” He confesses. He doesn’t know how he’d handle her, how to treat her fairly, how he would– He doesn’t know how he would do anything. He doesn’t know what being a woman entails so he won’t know how to teach her anything. He wants to teach her how to do everything. 

“Everything you’d do with a son.” You reply. You really doubt that your child will be raised to have great morals, so there’s no point in really raising them differently. “Sukuna, how will it be different?”

“How will it not be different?” He sounds offended. There’s nothing similar between men and women. Sukuna’s hands go to your bump, his hand caressing it. “But for my heir, I guess I can make an exception.”

“Is that your way of telling me that you won’t make a fuss over the possibility of having a daughter?” You ask him, and his silence gives you an answer. Yes, Sukuna is fine with it, as fine as he can be at least.

His hand goes under your nightgown, caressing your thighs. You feel Sukuna kiss the back of your neck, and you squeeze your thighs, his large hand stuck between them. The man rarely touches you nowadays, seeing you as fragile as ever. You don’t know about the sudden change, but you certainly don’t mind.

“What changed in you?” You ask him as his hand goes up to your panties. He pushes them to the side because last time he tore something of yours, you got too mad at him so he’d rather not risk it. His fingers run through your folds before going to your clit, and you bite your bottom lip due to pure excitement.

“Was thinking about how I’d be nothing without you.” He confesses, letting you know that he didn’t come to terms with having a daughter�� Sukuna is a man that fears nothing, at least that’s what you thought up until now. He fears losing you. It’s your issue… You’ve never paid attention to the love in his eyes when he speaks to you or about you. Sometimes you don’t realize just how much you mean to him. “Then I remembered how gorgeous you look carrying our son.”

“If you say that again I’ll–” You begin but Sukuna is two steps ahead of you. He pushes two large fingers inside of you. You can’t help but moan, covering your mouth immediately. One of his hands pulls your hand away, even in the dark he knows what you do. After all, you’re not just getting to know him, but he’s getting to know you too.

“Did I tell you to be fucking quiet?” He asks through gritted teeth. You have to be quiet at other times, like when the baby gets here and you risk waking them up. Now, if any of the servants hear, that’s their fucking problem. “Be loud, my love. Remind everyone who you belong to.”

“They know.” You tell him, which is quickly cut off by a moan as his fingers move faster. You feel his thumb graze your asshole, teasing you before he pushes it in. “Suku–”

“You’re not going to be able to stay quiet.” He ends up laughing. You never do because he’s just too much for you to handle. He curves his fingers so they hit your sweet spot. You shut your eyes, quickly succumbing to pleasure. You’ve missed this feeling so much, and he refuses to give it to you.

Sukuna loves when you turn into putty by his touch. It takes practically nothing to work you up, and you begin to squeeze around him. He smirks, knowing that it takes nothing for you to be practically screaming his name. Sukuna speaks into your ear, “Already so excited for me? Do you want more?”

“I need more.” Your voice sounds so demanding and Sukuna laughs. Another hand goes under your nightgown, his fingers focusing on your clit. You loudly moan his name as it all gets too much for you to handle. 

“Is it too much?” He mocks you as your orgasm builds up, until you finally reach your peak, your legs shaking. Sukuna takes his fingers out, shoving the fingers that were in your cunt into your mouth, making you gag. 

Sukuna lights a candle, providing some light in the room. You sit up, getting on top of him, undoing his robe. Your body yearns for more, and he smirks since he knows it. You lean down, your lips going on his, your tongue entering his mouth and pressing against his own. When you pull away from the kiss, you mutter, “I’ve missed you.”

You raise yourself, aligning the cock on the top with your pussy before slowly pushing yourself down on it. You take a moment to adjust to him since it’s been a while since the last time you’ve fucked her. You begin to bounce on him, and Sukuna spits in his palm, grabbing the cock on the bottom and teasing your asshole with the tip.

Sukuna holds you down when he begins to push the other tip in your asshole. Even though you’re expecting a child together, you’re still loud when he fills both of your holes. It’s too much for you to handle at first, but throughout the time you get used to it.

“Tight little cunt–” He groans, and he never thought that he of all people would end up touch deprived. But then he got too scared to hurt you in any way when you knew you were expecting, so he stuck to… Nothing. To suppress his dirty thoughts. 

“Move.” You order, too tired to continue. Sukuna begins to move for you, thrusting slowly in and out of you. He continues at the pace you had set. 

“Is it good? You’re making a fucking mess.” He says as he picks up speed. You throw your head back, one hand going down to play with your clit as he thrusts in and out of you.

“It’s so fucking good–” You answer. You’ve been needing this every single fucking night, and you’re lucky to be receiving it now. He’s finally giving into your cravings. 

“You just love being filled up like a little slut, don’t you?” Sukuna’s hand goes up from your bump to your mouth, shoving two fingers into your mouth again. He feels the vibration of your moans through your tongue before you begin to twirl your tongue around his fingers. 

Sukuna loves the way you take in his cocks, smiling at you at how well you take him– Of course he wouldn’t tell you though. Your hands go to his chest, using it for support as well as subconsciously digging your nails into his skin. It stings for him, but he can’t help but love it.

Sukuna does you a favor, his fingers rubbing your clit. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, 

A second orgasm overtaking you. Sukuna feels you squeezing on both of his cocks, feeling himself get weak. 

“Suku–” You loudly moan as you reach your second orgasm. Sukuna mocks you for it.

“What? Can’t handle it?” He asks, your nails digging deeper into his skin. He’s losing control, his thrusts getting sloppy. It’s been so long since the last time he did this– And when he finishes, he fills both of your holes with so much cum, and you swear you’re in heaven because there is no better feeling than this. 

When he takes his cocks out, so much cum drips out of you. You end up falling on his chest, him wrapping a pair of large arms around you while another fixes your clothes. 

“This is a nice way to apologize for misbehaving.” You comment, and Sukuna scoffs.

“Who said I was apologizing?” Sukuna is frowning, and you lightly smack his face which pisses him off more. He holds your hands so you don’t try to do anything more with them.

“I’ll take it as an apology.” You tell him. Sukuna wants to laugh, but he manages to keep a poker face. He grabs you up by your hair, putting his lips on yours. 

“It was not an apology, woman. Shut your mouth.”

Bonus:

You swear that hell is freezing over because what the hell is the scene you’re witnessing. You’ve never seen Sukuna like this… You don’t think you are supposed to see him like this.

“Who’s a headstrong girl?” Sukuna is putting on a baby voice for fuck’s sake. For a daughter that he didn’t want. Your baby girl laughs, and he falls in love all over again. She’s just so fucking perfect– With her little eyes, her little nose, her little mouth, her four little arms, her soft pink hair. She’s everything to him.

“Do you need anything, Sukuna?” You approach them, but Sukuna pays little attention to you. He keeps looking down at his daughter who lays on your bed. She’s in need of a nap but Sukuna doesn’t like putting her to bed because she’s boring then.

“Yeah, how do I order another one of these?” He asks, and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“Of what?” You respond, wondering what the hell he talks about.

“Another daughter.”

[emmyrosee]

Imagine having a kid with Sukuna and him urging you to have a day out after giving birth and taking care of the baby so you can have a fun stress free day with friends, and then him having a daddy daughter date. I thought it’s cute 🥰

oh… oh you KNOW HOW I FEEEEEEEEL ABOUT A DAD!AU (bro this got so long im sO SORRY-)

———

“Okay, there’s three bottles of milk in the fridge.”

“Okay.”

“And her melts are in the cabinet!”

“I know, I live here too.”

“Oh! And her stuffed lamb is her favorite to nap with-“

“Babe,” Sukuna laughs, wrapping an arm around you. In his other arm, Akiara is held securely, with an arm under her thighs to keep her perched against his chest, the pacifier in her mouth bouncing as she rattles a small toy in her hands. “I got this. It’ll be fine.”

“Okay, but if you need me, call me.”

“I’m not going to call you. Go have fun,” he encourages. Deep down, he knows you’re terrified to leave the baby with anyone for more than 15 minutes, always keeping her in close proximity and within earshot. The farthest you’ve gone is to shower while Sukuna indulges with tummy time, and it seems that every time, you’re surprised the house hasn’t crumbled in the brief period.

But Akiara is five months now. And your friends begged you to come shopping with them, missing you from outings with the group. Sukuna knows you trust him implicitly, but your separation anxiety is physically felt in the air this point. He pulls you in for a hug and presses a kiss to the crown of your head, “go. If the house catches on fire, I’ll call you. Otherwise, I can handle a few hours with my own spawn.” You tense slightly, and he offers you a stern look, “do you trust me?”

“Of course I do, but-“

“Then let me take care of everything. Go.”

You offer him a shaky sigh and make your way over to Akiara in his arms, “mommy loves you so much, okay?” You whisper. She babbles and grabs your hair, and Sukuna can see the nervous tears welling up. “I’ll be home in two hours tops.”

“Don’t time yourself,” he chuckles. “Go with your girlfriends. I gave you the credit card, go buy some clothes, or a necklace, or those expensive ass pastries you love so much.” Then, he nods his head towards the door, “scram. Before you cry your mascara off.”

“Okay,” you sigh. “Okay-“ you blow them both a few kisses as you slowly make your way to the door, “I love you both so much. Behave. Oh, and nap time is at 1:30-“

“Babe. Go,” he snickers. He watches as you open the door and walk backwards out, your eyes focused on the two of them until the door shuts fully, keeping you outside and them on the inside. Sukuna sighs in relief and he adjusts Akiara to be held arms length, “you, stinky girl, need a bath,” he hums, and when the little girl coos, he brings her tiny body up to his mouth to playfully bite her chubby belly, hiccupy laughter filling the air briefly before he pulls a face of disgust and holds her back out. “Yeah. You stink. Like a lot.”

Sukuna wastes no time in setting up her bathtub and cleansing the tiny child with her soaps, letting her splash the warm water for some time until she reaches up for him. He barely gets her out of the tub and into a towel before his phone buzzes wildly. He sighs and answers it, “do I have to block your number?”

“No!” You whine. “I just wanted to see how things were going. I just got to the restaurant, wanted to make sure everything was okay before I ate.”

“Well the dog got out, I broke a vase and our kid went to college, so not great,” he says flatly, and when you huff in annoyance, and smirks, “everything is fine. She just had a bath, I’m trying to dry her off, and then we’re going to watch some of those dancing fruits she likes so much. Goodbye.”

“Wait- you bathed her before you fed her?” You ask.

He pulls his mouth into a straight line, “yes. Because she smelt like shit fart-“

“Sukuna!” You snap.

“If I have to bathe her again, I will. It’s not the end of the world,” he tries to soothe. When you click your tongue he chuckles again. “Okay. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye,” you say, ending the phone call. He pockets the device and looks down at his child. “Shes your mother alright,” he says. His daughter merely babbles and chews on her fingers. He gets her settled into a clean diaper before hoisting her back and onto his hip, making his way to the living room, resting her on his massive stomach and clicking on the TV for some entertainment. There’s a baseball game on, surely you won’t mind if he indulges while his baby lays on his chest.

The colors are good stimulation.

“Who you got money on?” He asks Akiara, who blinks eyes like yours up at him. When she smiles a gummy smile, he shrugs, “I don’t know. They’ve got a really good pitcher.” His thick fingers gently stroke up and down her spine, so gently and warm that he feels Akiara’s breathing slowly even out, his little girl falling asleep on his chest. He winces, he knows you’re not going to be thrilled about an early nap time, but who the hell is he to wake a sleeping baby?

A sleeping baby who sleeps for hours. You’re going to be pissed at him.

By the time the game is over, Akiara is still fast asleep on his chest, tiny hands balled into fists as her long lashes lay on her cheeks. Sukuna’s gotta give you credit, you haven’t called or texted since her bath, and now it’s well into four hours since you’ve left and you’re still out with your friends. He’s proud of you.

He’s not sure how long in total Akiara was sleeping for, but not long after the game, she slowly twitches awake, eyes fluttering open before fixating on him. He watches fondly as her body slowly wakes up, starting with her sleepy eyes that blink open, followed by her mouth which opens to let out the smallest yawn.

“Good morning, sleepy girl,” he hums, gently cradling the back of her head. “Was that a good nap?” Akiara merely thunks her head back against his chest in response. He kisses her head softly before standing up, shuffling to the kitchen to grab one of the prepared bottles from the fridge. He pops it in her mouth, where her tiny fists assist him in holding it. The child drinks the milk happily, wide eyes blinking as she downs the beverage hungrily. He smirks, “definitely my kid.”

With that, you come home.

He can tell by the jingling of keys you’re trying to hurry in as fast as possible, and he snickers at your struggle. Once the door finally creaks open, you haul your bags into the home and kick the door shut, smiling as your eyes land on your little family. “Hey you.”

“What’s up?” He hums, kissing you as you get close. “How was it?”

“It was great!” You squeal, and he can’t fight the way his heart squeezes at your excitement. “I got some new dresses, a pair of heels, some perfumes- oh, and I got you a cologne-“

“That’s my girl,” he says, but he can tell your attention is focused on the small girl he’s currently burping, and he shrugs, “you want to take over?”

When you nod sheepishly, he gently passes Akiara over to you, and you coo down at her, “hi, Mumma’s girl,” you coo, and she burps loudly in your face. “Well excuse you!”

Sukuna can’t fight the laughter that barks from his throat, snickers tearing through until you’re smiling and shaking your head, and he pulls you in for another hug.

He loves that his small family fits in his arms.

[nereidprinc3ss]

i keep you clean; you surrounded me

in which husband!spencer reid spirals after realizing he can't be your daughter's hero forever.

angst, fluff warnings/tags: this fic is about spencer's past addiction, and how he's afraid it will impact his relationship with his daughter, conversation about alcohol, this is a fix-it fic for my life, ends on a hopeful/positive note, lots of self-loathing from Spencer, uses the phrase "shooting up", PLEASE do not read if this is going to upset you!! PLEASE!! fem!reader a/n: this felt healing in a way for me but that might not be your experience reading if you also have issues with a parent with addiction so please tread lightly and make the right choices for you. CHOOSE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH OVER MY DUMB FANFIC I CAN'T STRESS THAT ENOUGH!! and ily

“Daddy?”

Ada’s not asking for you, but you look to her anyway. She’s squeezed between you and Spencer on Rossi’s swing, and her cheeks are still feverish—remnants of a recent and rather hysterical fit of giggles. She has a glass of lemonade between her little hands (you’re trusting her with a big girl cup, if only because it’s not your glass or your house) and she peers into it intently. Her little grass-stained feet kick. Spencer pushes the swing back ever so slightly, for her entertainment. 

“Huh?”

She holds her glass up for him. 

“Our drinks are the same color.”

“They are,” he nods. “Do you like yellow?”

Ada shrugs. It’s exaggerated—one of her favorite moves as of late. “It’s okay.”

Spencer glances at you like he always does when he sees glimpses of you in your child, eyes sparkling as if her opinionated and bluntly honest nature is in any way reminiscent of you. 

“Yeah, I agree. Yellow is just okay.”

She leans against him and he’s quick to accommodate her, affectionately brushing his knuckles over your bare shoulder as he slings his arm across the back of the swing. 

“Daddy?”

“What, lovebug?”

You smile, letting your head fall back and your eyes close. The sun is warm on your face. 

“Mommy’s drink is red.”

Nothing gets past her. Rossi had pushed the drink into your hand almost the second you stepped through the door, insisting it would go well with lunch. It sits otherwise untouched on the glass table. 

Spencer hums. The swing rocks gently. 

“That’s because she’s not having lemonade like us. She’s having a grownup drink.”

“Oh.”

You think that’s the end of it, that she’s satisfied with the answer, until another moment passes, and her voice, sweet as the tinkle of little fairy bells, is posing a very loaded question. 

“Why don’t you ever have grownup drinks? Me and you always have the same.”

Spencer’s already looking at you, brows drawn as you sit up. Your eyes, open now, go wide, and you shake your head slightly to signal you have no idea how he’s supposed to respond either. 

His hand goes to Ada’s hair, gently scratching her scalp as his eyes dart over your face. You can see the gears turning in his head. This is one of very few things he clearly didn’t read about in any of the literature on raising kids when you were pregnant. 

“I… some people don’t like grownup drinks.”

It’s an inadequate answer, especially coming from Spencer—just this morning he explained to Ada why the sky is blue. Rayleigh scattering. Blue light scatters more than any other kind of light. Which then led to an impromptu lesson on oxygen molecules and other basic chemistry in the car on the way here. 

So there are standards. 

“Why not?”

You interrupt, unable to watch Spencer flounder any longer. “Ada, why don’t you go see what Henry and JJ and Uncle Dave are doing? That looks fun, right?”

You gesture down the yard to where JJ and Rossi are teaching Henry to play cornhole. 

She looks at you with big brown eyes—the set of them, the color—those are all Spencer.

“Can you and daddy come?”

You straighten out her dress and take the half-full glass from her little hands, setting it next to your own on the table. 

“In a minute. Go ahead.”

Spencer’s hand slips from her hair as she pushes off the swing and bounds down the yard. You make sure she arrives to her destination without incident, before scooting closer to your husband and taking his vacant hand. 

“Spence?” You ask quietly, leaning in to try and insert yourself into his eye line. He doesn’t look away from Ada. 

“That was bad.”

“It wasn’t. She doesn’t understand. It’s fine.”

“I didn’t—”

He looks down, lips pressed together, and your heart twists and drops like overripe fruit from the vine as you realize his eyes have glossed over. 

“Baby,” you whisper, relinquishing his hand only so you can rub his back. Your other finds his knee, drawing as close as you possibly can. “It’s okay.”

“How am I supposed to explain it to her?”

A tear falls, making a dark splotch on the fabric of his pants. 

“You don’t have to. She’s only five. I guarantee she’s already forgotten all about it.”

“I will. I’ll have to tell her one day. She thinks I’m perfect, how am I supposed to—”

He stops himself, voice tightening to a halt. You watch him hold back a cry like you haven’t seen in years. It’s an old, familiar ache for you. You can’t imagine how it feels for him. 

“Spencer,” you coo. “She adores you. She loves you so much. That’s never going to change.”

His nose twitches. 

“I’m going to disappoint her.”

“How? How are you going to disappoint her?”

“I think it’s pretty disappointing to find out your dad is a junkie.”

His tone isn’t particularly harsh but the words are like a slap anyway. 

“Spencer…” For a moment you don’t know what else to say. It’s not a secret that he’s ashamed of that chapter in his life, but you had no idea he was contending with this much self-loathing over it, even after all this time. It seems like such a distant point in the rearview mirror that the two of you almost never need to talk about it anymore. “You are not a junkie. It’s been, what—a decade?”

“I don’t want to have to tell her what drugs are, let alone that I... she thinks I’m the smartest guy in the world, and one day I’ll have to tell her that drugs are extremely dangerous, and I was shooting up for four months anyway. No matter how I try to explain it to her the ultimate takeaway is going to be that I’m weak and I wasn’t smart enough and she’s never, ever going to forget that. How am I supposed to—I can’t be a role model for her. I fucked up so badly.”

Your chest aches, somewhere deep and hollow, as he leans forward, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes, only for a moment—before Ada shrieks and his head snaps back up. Henry is chasing her with a worm. Spencer watches on, tears still leaking from his eyes and expression otherwise neutral. It’s bittersweet to hear him express such deep insecurity about the thing he’s best at in the world, even as those parental instincts kick in and he’s setting aside his own feelings to keep an eye on her. He’s never trusted himself. He’s never seen himself the way you do. 

“Baby, you are her dad and she loves you. Her love for you is not contingent on your past. You are so, so good to her. That’s all she knows, okay? She doesn’t care what you were doing when you were 25. She cares about whether you’ll be home for dinner, and if you’ll play dolls with her, and if you’ll tuck her in. That’s all she needs to love you.”

JJ wrangles the kids and after a moment Spencer looks down again, brow furrowed deeply as drops like rain dot his lap, but he hardly makes a sound. You lay your cheek on his shoulder. “And until she’s old enough for the whole story, which involves a lot more violence than I am comfortable with her being subjected to right now, you don’t need to explain it to her. You have time.”

“She wants to know now.”

“She also wants icecream for every meal. But I can’t make her understand why that’s a bad idea. What she wants and what she needs and what she is capable of understanding are all different categories. I know you love answering all her questions, and you’re a really good teacher, but you can’t make her understand something as complex as addiction.”

Spencer sniffs. 

“Developmentally she’s only really capable of understanding the world as it exists in relation to herself.”

“Exactly. So give her some time, and give yourself some time.”

“What if she asks again?”

“Then… you say you don’t like how it makes you feel. And tell her to clean up her toys. Condition her to stop asking.”

Spencer stumbles over a teary laugh he hadn’t been expecting. You sit up straight, holding his face between your hands and encouraging him to look at you. His cheeks shine with tears, but you wipe them away tenderly. 

“You’re perfect to her,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to one cheek, “and you’re perfect to me.” He cups your elbow as you kiss the other and looks at you with so much sheer adoration you could get all choked up, too.

“Wow,” he sniffles, and takes a deep breath, pulling you into him, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Of course you do,” you mumble into his shirt, eyes fluttering shut as he presses three kisses to the curve of your neck where he’s buried his face. 

“I could be canonized as a saint and not deserve you.”

Sainthood. You ponder that. 

Saints have to live virtuously. They also have to be dead. 

You hold him a little tighter. You like him exactly how he is: technically imperfect. Probably not getting into heaven. Still venerable. Very much heroic. Alive, and with you.

“I’m really glad you’re not a saint.”

He chuckles. His hand slides up your back, and then side to side—a path it’s made time and time again which has only ever led you to wonderful, perfect places.

“Me too.”