#but he also does it bc he thinks its wrong to take their childhood away

[satorugojoswiife]

Dunno I but I actually feel kinda sad when I see people talking about Gojo like he's some kind of bad person etc etc😩 maybe I take it personally but how can I not when I love him so much😢 do you have such feelings?

No, I get you 😭 it's kind of frustrating to see how often he gets mischaracterized.

[nereidprinc3ss]

mojave ghost

in which spencer reid spends the night with fem!reader—a total stranger—because she just feels so familiar. based on the song "my life in art" by Mojave 3.

18+ (implied intimacy) warnings/tags: based on a song about a stripper who runs away from her abusive boyfriend. tws for mentions of physical abuse. r has bruises from pole dancing. a little ooc bc Spencer hooks up with someone he just met but that's the point and if u know him like I do u know its not completely impossible. mentions of typical cm violence/murder. one brief mention of spencer's addiction. spencer's childhood trauma and abandonment. it's kind of just a heavy one, lmk if i'm missing anything a/n: I doooo suggest you listen to the song first just to feel the vibe of the piece and also how it is literally about Spencer Reid. and also bc its gorjus. anyways its been a while and this is not my most standard content but pls lmk what u think and if u liked it <3

He shouldn’t have done it. 

But when he saw you, sitting in a metal folding chair next to some peeling veneered-desk, his breath caught. Something primal deep in his stomach tugged the way it does when he finds little external fragments of himself, calling out to him—usually nonhuman objects. He’s seen himself in books, still warm from the hands that held them but ultimately forgotten on a bench or in the airport, needles in alleys or in between tiles on his bathroom counter, in shards of glass, in a hundred open wounds and dead animals, abstractly gutted on the side of the street. 

When he does see himself in a person, it’s in alarming glimpses. The man in the sleeping bag on the corner who talks to people that aren’t there. The lost child crying on the subway platform, rooted to the spot and still gripping the straps of their little backpack with responsible fists. It’s never anything he wants to know about himself, but this identification, this taxonomy and recognition of sameness—it’s so strong it stops him in his tracks, every time. He never really relates to the people he’s supposed to. Not Hotch. Not Gideon. Not even Maeve, in the way he’d so naively hoped for. Three people, all incredibly intelligent, at times standoffish. Used to being on the outside. All still possessing things and redemptive qualities he doesn’t. And what Spencer has secretly believed about himself for what has recently become a very long time, is that he is defined by his lack. The shape of him is made of negative space. He feels like whatever is in your lungs when you’ve pushed all the air out. 

And then, you. 

Physically, you look nothing alike. And he stops and lurches and does a double take like he’s seen his doppelgänger or been startled by his own reflection in a passing window anyway. Maybe it’s the way you hold yourself—hunched, foot tapping, head hung but still scanning the room, ever vigilant as you pick at your nails. You want to be small. You want to fold in yourself so many times you become a black hole. Spencer knows this. 

Something calls out from deep inside him, from all around him, that is not quite in his voice, but feels like grasping and reaching. 

I know you, I know you. 

He doesn’t catch himself in time before he’s walking toward you like he’s been waiting for you. 

Of course your head snaps up at the same time as he stops, and your eyes are shiny but not teary—frozen over with a layer of thick, dark ice like you’d carried the cold inside with you. You look caught. He searches for some sort of recognition in your eyes, anything to betray the fact that you have met before, because he never forgets a face but he knows what familiarity feels like and he can’t remember meeting you. 

His throat forms around something but the wrong word comes out. Halting, like he’s trying to lasso it and pull it back in. 

“Hi.” 

You pull your scarf down—a deep Roman purple—to reveal a pretty mouth, lips chapped by the unforgiving freeze outside. 

“Hello,” you say, politely, considering his probably strange behavior. He gives you a proprietary scan. Utility coat over a thick grey sweater. Jeans, cuffed at the bottom but still nearly too long, probably belted, although he can’t tell from the posture and the sweater. Brown boots. Your bag is a frayed tapestry of neutrals and patches. Fingerless knit gloves. You’ve given yourself false density, let the clothes swallow you up. Shapeless. Nearly faceless, magnet eyes framed between the scarf and the hat. But you’ve got a name. Everyone has a name. There’s yet to be anything humanity has discovered and not bothered to name. 

He forgets to ask. You clear your throat. 

“Um, I spoke to someone on the phone—Aaron, I think? We’re supposed to talk.”

Spencer tries to pick his jaw up off the floor. 

“Yeah, um, I can—I’ll… go get him.”

He turns away and breathes for the first time since he saw you, but he feels you behind him. He’s aware of exactly where you are in relation to the back of his head, he can feel you, like a hot spot, all the way to Hotch’s door. He lets himself in, slipping between as small a gap as he can manage and shutting the door gently behind him. Hotch looks up, not noticeably displeased at having been interrupted in his endless paperwork. 

What Spencer learns from his boss is this: you live in DC. You heard about a murder in Kansas—a girl, her hair still a fine, pale cornsilk. Barely not a child. You heard the details, and you called the cops, because you swear to god you know who did it, and they told you there was nothing they could do and gave you the number of someone who might be able to help, and so you followed a bureaucratic trail of phone numbers designed to discourage until you got to the BAU. Hotch says he’s going to interview you, but it’s probably nothing. 

“Actually, I’d like to do it if that’s okay.”

Hotch frowns deeper than usual.

“Why?”

Spencer swallows. Hesitates. 

“I finished my incident report early.”

Though he clearly has his reservations about Spencer’s sudden interest, Hotch is knee-deep in paperwork. So that’s how Spencer ends up in the round table room with you. 

You look too young, too raw to have been married, but you’re rubbing at your ring finger with the adjacent thumb like something is bothering you there. An absence that has become a presence. Negative space. You see things that aren’t there. Spencer knows that, too. Maybe you’re the kind of person who could look at him and see something.

That is his most intimate fantasy. He imagines it with you and feels the same kind of illicit shame and bloodied, starving hunger other people feel when they imagine sex or drugs or ravaging power; the way anyone imagines anything they want and can’t have.  

But he can’t put that kind of pressure on you. He can’t hold expectations like that. You’re a stranger. 

“Do you always do that?”

He points to your fiddling and gets that sour feeling in his throat he always does when he says something and wishes he hadn’t said it. That probably doesn’t show on his face. Most things don’t show on his face. Or maybe they do and nobody has bothered to tell him. 

You flex your pretty hand and then make a fist like you’ve been burned, probably to stop the compulsion. When you give a self-deprecating laugh, Spencer feels incredibly guilty for having pointed it out. But he doesn’t know how to talk to you. And at the same time, he almost expects it’ll be like talking to himself. Only nobody will give him odd looks. 

“Uh… old habit. I used to spin my wedding ring around when I was nervous.”

Used to. You’re especially too young to have been divorced. 

“You’re nervous?”

Your eyes flash as you look up to him. With what, he doesn’t know. Lightning, maybe. Electrical impulses that are a little less well insulated in you than in everyone else. 

But maybe he’s projecting. 

“Yeah. I feel crazy. But I was with a guy for a while who—and he was from Kansas—who would always, like, talk about… about hurting people. And I thought it was a joke at first, but… he laughed, at other people’s pain. He liked to hurt people. And animals. His dad had a farm, so I thought it was maybe he was just cavalier about life and death, but it was more than that. And he lived… he lived in that town. Where that girl died. He probably knew her. I… I probably knew her.”

Spencer’s heart sinks and he clears his throat like the force could bring it back up the right level again. 

You’re not his soulmate. You’re just paranoid. Looking for answers and resolution, like everybody else. 

The piece of himself he saw in you was just free radical damage. Instability. 

“Did he ever kill anyone before?”

“Wh—not that I know of. But I don’t really think he would’ve told me.”

But you would’ve known. You’re here because you’re lost. 

“Did he ever seriously injure anyone?”

You swallow and sit up a little straighter. Heat lightning in your eyes, again. It makes him feel something. He sits up too, despite your indignance, because it’s entrancing. 

“Yes.”

“How so?”

“He… he…” you melt as quickly as you inflated and go back to spinning a ring that’s not there. It’s like watching technicolor go to black and white. “He’d beat people up. He cut them with broken beer bottles and… yeah. A lot of other shit. He was just… he was crazy. He wasn’t… okay.”

The way your gaze flickers back and forth like you’re reading pages of a book or perhaps in REM as you recount in vague detail what your ex had done clues Spencer into the fact that you’re extremely traumatized. The way you make sure to emphasize that your clearly abusive ex wasn’t okay clues him into the fact that you care too much. That you’re too quick to excuse people’s bad behavior, or dismiss it, because you know how it feels to be dismissed entirely and you don’t want to make anyone else feel the way you’ve felt. 

Or maybe he’s still projecting. Maybe he’s idealized you in these few short minutes since you met and he’s too far gone. Maybe he should’ve let Hotch do this interview after all. In fact, he absolutely should’ve. 

But the worst thing by far he did was ask to walk you to your car after all was said and done. 

The interview went on for over two hours, and he’d learned things about you he suspects you’ve never told anyone before, and thus has learned about himself, and the building is mostly empty when you finally leave. The work day is over. So he selfishly asks you to wait while he gathers his things—buttons his coat, wraps his scarf, packs his bag—and then he soaks in the silence on the elevator because it’s that terrible, beautiful space between where you first cross the line and when you do something unforgivable. Asking to walk you to your car was crossing the line. 

Sleeping with you was unforgivable. 

And he didn’t care. Maybe he knew he was going to do this from the moment he saw you. Spencer never does this. The knowing that it was going to happen is quite a distinct flavor of intuitive knowledge and it was always on the back of his tongue. 

You’re silver and purple, a streak, a blur, you move too fast to keep up with and even when you’re perfectly still the atoms around you scramble like they’re jonesing. You inspire movement. You are movement. But he gets to see you slow, and despite having known you only a few hours, he knows this is nothing short of a natural phenomenon. A once in a lifetime sort of shooting star. That’s where the silver comes in. 

The purple, though—it’s in strange places. Around your upper arm. Between your thighs. On your knees and shins and hips. The first time he noticed it he couldn’t ignore it, but he couldn’t very well ask what’s hurting you while he was touching you in a way that was decidedly not painful, if he wanted to keep it that way. And he did. He wanted to keep you looking at him through half-lidded eyes like he was something to see. 

Still, he can’t notice it and then fuck you without saying something—or maybe he could, and you desperately want him to and you ask for it and maybe most people would, but he won’t—so he brings it up. 

“I lead a very active life,” is your whispered excuse, shaped by a smile that is something like mischievous. And then you’re kissing his flushed neck and making your descent and so he can’t ask very many questions. 

It’s only in the precarious after that he can fit his questions in, which is dumb and he knows that, because you’re a dizzying contradiction of cagey and flighty and really the slightest thing will send you running. It’s funny how he knows that after a few hours and sex. Sex can tell you so much about a person. Spencer has compiled all the data from his experiences and decided sex is radically more effective a profiling tool than interview. 

You’re on his pillow, lying on your stomach, and his hand is in your hair. Falling in love is quite a distinctive taste as well. Or at least, the recognition that if you spend enough time around a person you will, beyond a shadow of a doubt, fall in love with them. It is almost the same thing. It aches because it’s there and the proper thing to do is pretend it’s not. 

And his hand is in your hair. And your eyes are closed, and you look like you might fall asleep, and he should be beyond grateful for all of these things. He is. 

But that pesky desire to ameliorate, to improve and make better, and fix and heal, is too strong. Probably it’s the only way he thinks anyone will love him, is if he makes himself useful. That’s no revelation to him. The thought is not shocking whatsoever. It’s just true. 

So he asks again. You blink your eyes a quarter of the way open. 

“Hazard of the job.”

“What job?”

You make a noncommittal noise of reluctance—a discontented puppy’s whine, half-asleep. 

“I’m a circus freak.”

He laughs and remembers to keep scratching your scalp. The way you smile, eyes closed, is infectious. 

“Yeah? What’s your act?”

“Guess,” you challenge through the remnants of a smile, oozing satisfaction and glowing like a star. 

When he pauses to regard you, to seriously consider, studying the curve of your cheek and the color of your lips, you open your eyes again. 

“Tightrope walker,” he finally says, earnestly, so soft it could tear down the middle like gauze. 

Your answer is a smile into the dark. “How’d you know?”

The corner of his mouth vies higher. 

“I sensed a kindred spirit.”

Silence floods the room again, slowly, thickly, like molasses. It’s pleasant. You’re still here, in his bed, and he’s still measuring time with the pendulum of his hand in your hair. 

“What do you really do?” 

He expects you to be asleep. 

“Dancer.” Your lips hardly move as you say it, inflectionless, immediate. If his hand falters, it’s only momentarily. That explains the bruising, and so is a relief, as far as he’s concerned. But perhaps his silence is misconstrued. “Do you want me to go?”

It certainly doesn’t seem like you want to go. Your eyes aren’t even open. 

He keeps his voice low and gentle like maybe you really are asleep. 

“Why would I want you to go?”

“Don’t… do that.”

“What?”

“Don’t act like you’re not judging me.”

“I’m not judging you. I’m from Vegas. Your job is not a novelty to me.”

This time when your eyes slide open, there is a new, curious light behind them. 

“Really?”

He nods, distracted by a freckle just beneath your eye. 

“When I was ten I ran into my bus driver wearing two quarters as a shirt. And we weren’t even on the strip. We were in a Texas Roadhouse parking lot.”

You snort with laughter and it’s melodic, like twinkling crystals, like running water. Even as you hide your face behind your hand, he’s transfixed. God, he’s never cared about being funny before. Now he wants to make you laugh over and over again. He wants to keep you softer than you’ve ever been. The laughter fades slowly and he grieves it—but your hand sliding away from your face like the sun coming up from behind a mountain eases the ache. 

You reach out as if in a trance and run your thumb gently beneath his eye. He holds his breath as you make contact, butterfly light. Nobody has ever touched him like this before. 

“You’re gorgeous,” you murmur. A thoughtless observation. A truth cast to the breeze. Knuckles carefully follow the dip of his cheekbone—a cartographer, learning her way by touch. Marking her territory. He’d let you do it. His eye stings, ready to spring forth a river just so you can have the pleasure of discovering it. “Breathe,” you laugh, softly, and he does. 

“Sorry.”

You don’t say a thing. You let your fingers trace borders into his skin and follow them with soft eyes and he wonders what he’s ever done to deserve this kind of magic. He wonders if he’ll ever feel as good as he does right now, when it’s all over. Nobody has ever paid this much attention to him—but you’re intent, focused, like he’s art. 

“Tell me about Vegas.”

It takes him a moment to reply. 

“Hm?”

He feels bewitched. Warm. Foggy. A thumb brushes over his lips, but it’s only a pass, thank god, because he can hardly stand how you’re touching him already, at the high point of his cheek, beneath his brow. Finally getting enough sometimes feels awfully close to too much. He’s already almost cried once. 

“I wanna hear about Vegas. I’ve always wanted to go. Is it hot?”

Spencer will say whatever you want him to say, but he has to focus a little—like he’s speaking through honey. 

“In the summer, during the day. In the winter at night it drops to below freezing.”

“Desert-y,” you hum.

“Very.”

“Tell me more.”

There’s a rousing hunger in your voice and it reminds Spencer to want you again. He finds your waist and tugs you closer. Who is he with you?

Is he better? 

“There are 175 casinos in the city, but only thirty on the strip. There are 15,000 miles of neon tubing on the strip alone. It’s the brightest place on earth. You can see it from space.”

“Not that.”

Petulant. He loves it. 

His lips find the softness of your shoulder. “Then what?”

The only clue that you can feel what he’s doing to you is the twitch of your fingers on his cheek. 

“Tell me something… tell me exactly how it feels to stand in the middle of the desert. With nobody else around. Tell me things and details I couldn’t know about unless I’ve been there.”

At the junction of your neck, he pauses. This beautiful girl, and her beautiful brain—you are so disarming. So perfect. 

You shiver into him as his fingers brush up the back of your neck, gently pushing away hair so he can learn you everywhere. So he can remember your landscape, just like he’s doing as he closes his eyes and falls into memory. 

A gas station, off the side of the road—seemingly in the middle of nowhere. Desert all around. His dad’s ’79 Ford Fiesta—the one he didn’t take with him when he left. The driver’s door is open. Spencer’s dad has been inside for minutes. Spencer is watching from the middle of the road, because he looked out from the backseat of the Fiesta, and saw that dark, unassuming spot, and thought—how would it feel to be the darkness? What would I see if I were nothing at all?

When he gets there, and he stands on the sun bleached pavement, veined with spiderwebs of tar, and he sees this all from a distance—he realizes he feels exactly the same as he always does. So he pivots his head to the left. The road goes on until it disappears into the smudgy horizon. To the right, it does the same. The earth swells, far away, so many miles, so coal black, so impossible. Hardly even real. But there is something out there, he thinks. There is something, even if nobody else has ever been there, and I want to stand in the middle of it and I will learn how it feels to be nothing. I will not observe—I will become apart of the landscape, with the Joshua trees that have been there for a thousand years, and the rocks that haven’t moved in millennia. 

So he begins to walk. 

The rocks crunch under his feet, and that is the only noise. 

He walks for minutes. He walks until he knows the gas station will be small. He walks until he can feel the emptiness on the back of his neck, until it feels like an embrace. 

“It’s silent,” he hears himself say to you, in some other universe, decades in the future. “At night, it’s completely silent. You can hear yourself breathe. If you throw a pebble ten feet away, you’ll hear it hit the ground.”

Little Spencer takes a deep breath of inky air. 

“It smells like… geosmin.”

“What?”

Perfect. Your voice is perfect. 

“Dirt. But it’s not the same as dirt anywhere else. It’s… drier, like it’s smelled the same way for a really long time.”

Spencer’s cheeks burn. He’s doing a terrible job explaining.

But he feels your breath on his cheek—eager. Your hand at his shoulder as you lean closer, enraptured. Reverent, almost. 

“What else?”

What else?

Dry brush snags on the hem of the corduroys his mother had picked out for him. They’re a little too short. She’s going to try to take him shopping again tomorrow. It’ll work this time—they’ll get to the store. Mom’s just been having some trouble leaving the house lately. 

Rustling leaves skim the tips of his fingers as he reaches out for them, and keeps walking. When was the last time someone touched that shrub?

“There’s vegetation. Creosote, mostly, if you’re in the scrubland. Larrea tridentada. It’s dry—kind of twiggy, with green leaves and yellow flowers in the spring. The smell is bad, like asphalt, but you only notice if you get close.”

He hears his dad calling his name. It fades in and out. 

It’s dizzying, hearing his father’s voice. His father saying his name. 

It’s been a long time. 

“It’s so flat that things don’t echo. But because of the extreme variations in temperature the air pressure sometimes forces the sound waves to the ground and makes it impossible for them to propagate. They’re called the Santa Ana winds. Someone could be standing right next to you and if the wind blows at just the right angle, you won’t be able to hear them. But when it’s still, sound carries far.”

His father is angry. Or is he worried? 

Spencer can make out his dad, pacing frantically back and forth across the gas station pad, white button-up a glowing beacon even from this far away beneath the lone yellow street light. He looks so small. So very far away. Ant-like. 

Santa Ana comes slow—warmer than the night air around him, to ruffle his hair and rustle the dry leaves and blow soft clouds of fragrant sienna dirt around at his knees. It blows through him. For a moment, it wakes the desert up. 

Then it’s passed. It moves further down the desert and leaves Spencer behind. Things settle into silence again. He’s alone again. 

Spencer’s stomach flips as he realizes his father can’t see him this far away, this deep into the dark nothing. 

As he finally feels the enormity of the distance on all sides. 

Suddenly the void behind him is massive. Suddenly it is everything, and it is sucking him deeper. Nobody can see him. He could just disappear into 25,000 square miles of desert. He’s already, what—a thousand feet gone? More? The weight of all the infinite space behind him presses, and he thought it’d feel interesting but it feels like dying and there has never been so much regret or dread curdling in his stomach before. His face crumples, eyes stinging in the dry air, and he takes one step forward, and then another, and then he runs like he’s running for his life. But he doesn’t feel chased—no, that’s the worst part. He is running from an infinite, vacuous, nothing. Dad! He screams, but even this young he knows how sound waves work in the desert and he can tell his dad can’t hear him and he’s running and screaming until his lungs burn, and the scrub lashes at his ankles, and it has been the same for a thousand years and it will stay the same for a thousand more with or without him. Dad, I’m right here! He sobs, the words ripping up his throat with desperation as they go. 

Finally, finally, he’s heard, and he’s close enough to see his dad seeing him, he stops pacing and stares dumbfounded at the little boy appearing from the desert, sneakers slapping cracked asphalt. He gets closer and closer until he can see the lines on his father’s face and the color of his eyes and he sobs as he crashes into him. His dad’s hands are vice-tight around his arms, as Spencer cries and can’t breathe and thrashes like a fish out of water. 

What? Is all his father can manage, tight and baffled and afraid and the first word of a question he doesn’t even know how to ask. He says it again and again, like a skipping record; what—what? What?

On the drive home, Spencer sits in the backseat, a bottle of Bug Juice in his lap. His ankles sting, whipped and bloodied and punished for wearing too-short pants. 

The silence is cloistering and at the same time, completely par for the course. He does not expect his father to speak to him, but he sort of thinks maybe another father would. 

Outside, the black spine of distant mountains rolls on forever and stays impossibly far away. He peers out into the nothing, past what the moonlight can illuminate—and now, he doesn’t have to wonder. He knows how it feels. Imagines another little boy made of shadows, as far away from the road as he’d been, and feels sick from all that fruit juice. He won’t ask his dad to pull over—all he wants is to get rid of that feeling on the back of his neck, like he’s dissolving into space. Like he’s the only thing for miles and miles. 

But the problem is—the feeling doesn’t go away. 

Not in the driveway. Not in the bath. Not in bed, later that night. 

Spencer did a bad thing and he wishes he could go back to normal. He wishes he didn’t get that desert feeling when he was surrounded by other people. But it comes back, again and again. At school. When he tentatively asks for new pants and his mom throws a vase at the wall and then sobs on the floor for forty minutes. When a few weeks later, his dad leaves, and doesn’t take the Ford with him—so it sits under the carport, greets him on his way to school every morning, and over the course of years the windshield turns opaque with dust. 

He hasn’t stopped feeling that way since. 

“You okay?”

A long, soft breath draws him back into his body. Into his bed. 

Not creosote. Not geosmin. Not the Santa Ana winds, coming from the deepest parts of the desert and carrying their desolation to him. Shampoo. Warmth. A girl who smells sort of like him, now—a girl whose perfume is all over his neck and chest and pillow. 

You’re there. You, a stranger. You, a girl he’s going to fall in love with. You—the only person he ever brought into the desert with him. The only person who ever brought him back. 

Point Nemo is not in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Asphodel is not in the underworld. It’s a little less than half a mile out across from an old gas station on the I-15 in the middle of the Mojave desert. 

Spencer nods because he can’t bring himself to speak just yet. 

You smile and take the time to find his hand in the dark. 

“Felt like I was out there with you. Thanks.”

And he squeezes your hand—because for the first time, it feels like someone is going to come looking for him. 

lyrics from my life in art <3

[dontbesoweirdkira]

howdyyy, what do u think of plat yan! dick grayson (or platonic yan father bruce wayne up to u) with a batsis who is very disinterested with him primarily bc when she was younger she idolised him a lot but now not so much. there are comics where grayson has cheated on his partners before so imagine batsis coming to realise as she aged and matured that her doting brother is a bit of a playboy…. a lot like a playboy actually—

You know, this is actually extremely realistic. There's nothing like the rose color glasses falling off and realizing just how messed up your family truly is.

I'd like to think that there was plenty of jokes and mentions about Dick being a playboy but Batsis would just be absolutely clueless. You probably just thought it was a reference to his charming appearance or the way he gets hit on at least once whenever he goes out. Not really that he was an notorious heart breaker.

Like i don't think the other batkids had serious talks about it in front of you because of your (then) age or maybe it was a request by Dick so he could keep on his perfect mask with you?

Ironically, he wouldn't want any man to treat his little sister (or any of them) the way he does to other women but he has a problem. I will say though, it makes absolute sense that Dick or even the others would have issues keeping relationships or even have sex addictions. I mean it's a real issue that many people are struggling with right now. But can you imagine your father constantly bringing home women and cheating your entire childhood? Like Bruce introduces some of these women to them, they get attached to this potential mother then it's ripped away to be discarded for the new catch. I think that definitely warped Dick's view of women and romance stems from that. *intense mommy issues* But also i mentioned before that it's hard for him to maintain relationships while taking on the fatherly role in the family. His obsession with making sure all of his siblings are cared for and protected(mixed with being nightwing), makes it all the more difficult. Maybe that leads him to just hooking up with and being sloppy in his relationships. Maybe its just a means of stress relief and that causes him to almost dehumanize/objectify the women he "romances".

I'm not saying this is justifiable, cheating is disgusting and his behaviors are something that needs to be corrected regardless of mommy issues but for headcanon sake we are entertaining the concept

I'm not sure how you'd exactly find out about it. Maybe one of the kids let it slip and didn't bother to do damage control because you're old enough now? Maybe you spoke to one of his exes that is still friendly with the batfam? Or maybe your brain started to develop and you realized he wasn't hanging out with that new super model as just friends all night...it was something more and his girlfriend definitely didn't know about it.

Regardless, I think when you finally found out about everything, your world crushed. I don't think you'd hate him but you just feel yucky about the whole thing. Now when you look at him something in your stomach just sinks. You might even wonder if you can trust him. I mean if he's got that much of a problem to be dishonest with his lovers, then why would it be so left field to suggest he lied to you too when he said he loves you or that you were his favorite? The transition from you idolizing him to being standoff-ish would be extremely noticeable to him. I mean it's hard to ignore when you were his mini me. Even as you got older you followed him around and never skipped an opportunity to be near.

He wouldn't think that it was because of the playboy thing, maybe just you needing some space as a teen. Everyone has gone through that phase before but when he notices your shift is only directed towards him, he's a little upset about it. He doesn't understand what he did wrong? One day you guys are eating ice cream together while having a sleepover in his room to you treating him like a disease.

Eventually your big brother corners you and makes you to confess whats bothering you. He apologizes if something he said rubbed you the wrong way but you couldn't keep treating him this way.

"uhm..i dunno, dick? I found out how you've been treating you partners and i think it's kinda gross. I guess i just don't really wanna be around someone who treats women like that right now..."

I think Dick's reaction would be complete shock....who tf told you?! He has no defense but he tries to muster up one before realizing this is just making him look worse when EVERYBODY knows how much of a whore he is lol. He'd back off of you and maybe even mutter an apology before walking away to go collect himself.

He's furious as well...whoever told you will be getting an earful because they just ruined something precious to him. (yeah they did. totally not his OWN actions) If it was one of his brothers, he will be throwing hands.

Dick does very much care about others perception of him, i've said this before. He knew he had a problem and his other siblings have spoken to him about it and it affected him but never enough to change. It's just a far deeper issue than wanting a quick fuck in the expense of his partners...But seeing his baby sister look at him with just so much disgust and disappointment was enough to cause him to spiral. He's not proud of his actions and knows he's hurt and discarded of many, many women for his own satisfaction. It's deplorable. I can imagine him taking maybe a few days to himself, he's just in his head while being overtaken by heavy guilt.

I'm not sure if Dick would actually change for you though? I think he is even debating it. Yeah he's a yandere for his batsis but is his obsession with you enough to kick the other one to the curb? That's up to you. A hopeful person would say, yes he would. Anything for his babybat! He's going to do whatever it takes to prove himself again, anything to make you proud. This habit isn't worth it if hes loosing you.

My opinion? No, he won't change after his guilt wears off. He'll just pretend like he's reborn. Dick would try for like a week and then go right back to doing his habits. He's a manipulative piece of work and yeah, lying to you is bad but he wants his cake and to eat it too. He's not willing to give up anything that gives him a euphoric boost. Shh...what you don't know, won't kill you.

[casscainmainly]

I think the recent Cass and Jason discussion is very interesting bc like, Jason or even steph in her first appearance take these actions of righteous, murderous (or near murderous) justice bc of the fact that not only have they've been abused, but they're also able to recognise that fact, and feel that despite everything, they didn't deserve to suffer like that (Jason with his murder, Steph with her childhood abuse)

Whereas Cass struggles for most of her series to recognise that she was abused and struggles to properly resent her abuser on the grounds that she didn't deserve it. She resents David for being a killer and making her love him, for making her a killer, but rarely for the actual abuse that came with her training. She eventually recognises it right before the end of pre-52 in batgirl 2008, but not after a long time, and she still tries to save David at the very end after contemplating letting him die.

she does grows to resent Bruce after some time, and confronts him, showing that she's slowly gaining higher expectations for how she should be treated after developing relationships outside the batfamily (coincidentally with Steph, someone who can relate over having a shitty dad, along with her love interests like Kon and Tai)- though Bruce, despite his multitudes of bad parenting moments never truly abuses cass like david did, so there's nuance, and after her fight with bruce, she still has trouble fully reckoning with her abuse (still calls david shooting her 'a game' in front of tim- she knows its wrong but still doesn't act upset about the fact it happened to her).

She kind of sees all the training she went through as a necessary evil in order to have the skills to be a hero- which is somewhat true, but I think it also contributes to her being unable to see herself, even partially, as a victim for large portions of her narrative.

She can understand abuse as something that molds you into a killer, she can't understand being abused and then choosing to be a killer bc of the righteous fury you have at what happened. In Cass' mind her abuse is synonymous with killing. That's the worst thing Cain ever did to her and the reason she ran away. She can't understand someone like Jason choosing it as a way to cope/deal with abuse.

I don't think this is necessarily a ground breaking thought but I think abuse is an interesting lense to look at both Jason and Cass' stories- pre52, Jason's story is about continuing a cycle of abuse. Criminals hurt him, he hurts criminals, and anyone who gets in his way of hurting the criminals, bc even tho he pursues justice, he also pursues retribution, which is hard to do justly. Between that and the whole zombie/living ghost thing, it's downright gothic. Whereas Cass' story is about breaking out of a cycle of abuse- nobody dies bc she let one person die and will never let it happen again. It's just an interesting way to view their differences I think. Good Cass and Jason posts recently!

I LOVE THIS!! I absolutely think abuse informs the way Jay and Cass see the world (and Steph - Steph, in many ways, is the median point between Jason and Cass).

It's the fundamental question that drives Jason and Cass apart. For Cass, her question is: how can I be the victim if I'm the villain? And for Jason, the question is more: how can I be the villain if I'm the victim?

I love this line: "Cass struggles for most of her series to recognise that she was abused and struggles to properly resent her abuser on the grounds that she didn't deserve it." This is doubly complicated by the genuine love David Cain had for her - that panel of them watching the stars kills me every time. This is another key difference between Jason and Cass' abuse (taking Jason's abuse to be his death) - Jason had no love for the Joker, but Cass did love David Cain.

It's why it's so easy for Jason to want to kill the Joker, and so hard for Cass to even be angry at her father. And your point here - "In Cass' mind her abuse is synonymous with killing" - is absolutely on point, because Jason's conception of abuse is the helplessness of being murdered. They are both acting in ways to prevent what abuse means in their minds: as Batgirl, Cass will never have to kill again, and as Red Hood, Jason will never have to be helpless in the face of murderers again.

Any rebuke of their moral codes feels like a denial of the abuse they suffered. It's why Cass can't allow others to kill, and why Jason can't accept Bruce's reasoning for not killing the Joker. It's why these versions of them could never get along. Argh there's been such good Cass and Jason commentary recently, they drive me insane!!!

[holdmymetaphor]

okay heres some things about houses childhood i think about

theres clearly a few dynamics here

-he hates his father, resents the abuse, recognizes that bad things were done to him

-probably when he was very young, he didnt understand why bad things happened to him, was not intentionally A Bad Kid

-because he surmised his dad was not his dad at 12 i assume the abuse started from a young age.

-house mentions ice baths and sleeping outside, but he also mentions his father not speaking to him for months at a time, which is interesting to me. when house tries to qualify the severity of abuse to eve he says "not as bad as your [trauma] if how your acting about it shows how bad it is." which to me is pretty noncommittal. was he doing that bc he was still kind of lying, trying to get info out of her? if not, it seems like house is actually unsure of how to qualify his own abuse, which would lead me to believe it was largely emotional and verbal. although i suspect that his father did physically abuse him at times, to me this exchange implies that house thinks the ice baths and sleeping outside were the worse of it (interestingly both acting on his whole body and ability to regulate temperature)

-at some point he acts out intentionally, instead of unintentionally, bc his father is Wrong and shouldnt be abusing house in these ways(the fact that the thing he wanted to hear from his father was "you were right, you did the right thing" 😭😭)

-this leads to worse and more cruel punishments, which house both detests and wants to avoid repeating. furthering his resentment, but reinforcing his fathers authority

- despite his knowledge that his father is wrong, his dad claims to do these acts out of love, to teach dicipline, to toughen him up. (in this way his struggle with god is really an allegory of his father: is it better he hates me (i deserve pain) or loves me (i dont deserve pain) when he does awful things to me? or is it better for him to not exist at all (things just happen, there is no deserving)?

-in my perspective, especially as house got older, into his teens, he was actually probably really "well behaved" finally smart enough to fake social cues and swallow his pride so that his father wouldnt hit him or what have you (which is why he regresses to a child often as an adult, because he was not allowed those things)

its interesting to me, to see how all of houses character is shaped around the shadow of his father. the parts where he is similar: rigid, principled, yell-y, and where he is intentionally different: encourages independent thinking, respects challenges to his authority (only when he has authority lmao that all falls apart when people take his power(read:agency) away, his biggest trigger)

and none of this even gets into his mother, blythe (a word which means both happiness and bland disintrest) which is a whole nother can of worms. the fact that at the funeral she said that "the war was over" (which implied that no matter how much house actually listened to his father, there was still a part of him that couldnt help but to point out the logical issues, and therefore continued abuse)

lastlly, she had said that john loved him. which i think house believes to be true. especially when he tries to talk to his dead father in season 6, he says "i think i focus on the wrong things," implying that he did want to find some peace with that relationship, and that he wanted his fathers love, despite it being illogical, painful and confusing.

that he was willing to look past the abuse was shocking to me, because house is right his father shouldnt of abused him. but it was coming from a place of love, however ill concieved.

this is as close as we get to house praying to god. to admit that the suffering of life cannot be defied or denied, and grasp for the love nestled in between all the pain, however flawed, wrong, or illogical.

in a lot of ways, his story is so much about houses struggle with the body, its agency, its disability, its doom. he literally becomes a doctor to grasp with this ideologically (at times paradoxically) instead of physics because his question isnt really about existance in general

its about why he exists in the broken, painful way he does. and at the end of it, he sets down his need for an answer, righteousness, and admits that despite it all, his body cant help but love. and that love is the death of him. the end of his suffering.

[homicidal-lingonberry]

Some thoughts on Todd,

he started out as one of my least favorite evil exes, but I think part of that was simply that I could not quite figure out his motivations for a while. what is he gaining from being an evil ex? Why does he cheat on envy and veganism? I think I finally do understand his motivations now tho, and I am appreciating him more for it! and it also makes him seem a lot less jerky.

thoughts are mostly going to be coming from the comic and anime, with a lot of thoughts on his fling with wallace as well.

Todd is basically a pushover who is incredibly out of touch with his own feelings, and overvalues external validation. he is not the type to ever go for what he wants. not purely, not truly. he commits to what he thinks he is supposed to. goes for what he thinks he Should want instead of what he really does.

He isnt a vegan bc he wants to be. he's a vegan bc his father told him he'd never have the willpower to do so! I feel he is also in a relationship with envy bc he thinks he should be. childhood friends, and she wants him? and she's drop dead gorgeous, talented, and successful? he'd be crazy to say no, right?

I think him joining the league was a similar situation. It seemed like what everyone else was doing. so clearly, thats what he should do too, right?

But these arent the things he wants. He places value on these things bc other people do. But these things dont satisfy him, and inside him is an itch to act out in rebellion. the part of him that knows he isnt being true to himself. and he cheats!

He cheats to feel a sense of control over a life that is in no way his own. and I think that is why he feels so much for wallace.

bc why should he be with wallace? why would that be the obvious choice to anyone? It would be so silly to throw everything he has away for some guy he's just met. A guy that most people in his circle would probably consider a major downgrade compared to The Envy Adams.

but he is experiencing genuine attraction!! he is feeling fireworks!! he isnt messing around with someone who is simply a trophy or status symbol. Someone he thinks he should want, but doesnt really. he's messing around with someone who actually gets him going!!

Someone who he is into enough to realize that what he's doing with Envy is absolute bs!!! that everything he is doing is absolute bs!! And he chooses the real desire he has for Wallace, even tho it should seem like the wrong thing to do. In breaking up with Envy to pursue Wallace, Todd is finally Openly doing what he wants, breaking his former pattern of pushing it all down until it seeps out in secret rebellion.

and thats why he stops being vegan as well I think. he realizes its not something he ever truly wanted, he just wanted validation from his dad who was never going to give it to him anyway. And with the new revelation of choice, he quickly casts it aside.

While it seems like he lands in a rough place compared to the other exes, and it seems like wallace fucked him up bad, I think wallace gave him exactly what he needed. Wallace was never going to be the love of his life or happily ever after- Wallace was a wake up call.

Who better to show Todd how to get in touch with his repressed desires than Wallace, a man that denies himself no pleasure, and assertively goes for what he wants? Suddenly Todd can see he is allowed to be unapologetically himself. he doesnt have to be this person he hates being anymore.

What Wallace leaves Todd with is a new foundation to build something true on. One that takes into consideration that Todd is his own person. Its barren, but its steadier than the old one made of lies. and while he's got a lot to learn about himself, I think he will consider his own heart more fully from now on.

Where we see Todd at the end of the anime, he thinks he loves Wallace. But really, he's finally beginning to love and honor himself, and feeling more connected with his own heart than ever. <3

[fatuismooches]

hii, its 💌 anon coming reallll late but happy anniversary :)) i was gone for so long bc i had school and so much other things but i am back‼️ with pantalone thoughts….and dottore thoughts ofc teehee.

akademiya zandik writing reader letters but then he was like “okay no, im not that whipped (he is) i’m gonna toss it somewhere else” but he ends up keeping it in a box. fragile reader on the other hand used to always write him letters :(( and ofcourse he kept them all. they were always well decorated and had the most beautiful wiring but after reader got sick, he didnt get them anymore. the younger clones would probably make little get well soon cards while the older ones write letters and all :(. (also fits reader literally writing him a letter in the case,, yk,, they die)

meanwhile, in pantaloneland, reader and him watched barbie together!!! he wore pink and the entire shebang, probably even rented….bought an entire theater for the private viewing for the both of you. (its actually js a theater version of the barbie movie. no movies back then so…play! arlie would love it too). BUT!! he js hates ken in the middle of it. “i would never ever get rid of your barbie dream house, darling :(“ because honestly? it makes him sad. how can someone just strip things that their lover likes away just to be better? it reminded him a bit of his own bitter childhood, and because of that, he buys you even more things after <3

“pantalone, i dont need that many outfits-“

“just indulge me darling :) you’ve been with me since i was young, its only fair i return the favor”

- 💌

HI 💌 ANON! Welcome back ❤️ I hope you've been doing good and taking care of yourself!! AND AGHHH THANKS FOR YOU FOR THOUGHTS 😭🤲

ZANDIK WRITING LETTERS 😔💖 He thinks that instead of verbalizing his feelings, he can water them down and make them all professional like he does in his notes/research reports... WRONG. Within the first sentence, he looks at it and stops because wtf there's no way he's gonna continue writing this sappy shit (it wasn't even sappy he was showing that he cared about you a bit more than the average person) But you on the other hand? You don't care if you sound too emotional or sappy or in love or not. You just write what you wanna write. Zandik will scoff and make fun of you but you know he keeps all of them. Where? You don't know, but you just know.

But it's only after it's too late that he realizes how much he likes the little letters he used to receive from you. (UR EVIL FOR THAT LAST PART.) Stop now I'm thinking about bb Zandy giving you a card... he drew you two with crayons 💖

NOT PANTALONE AND YOU WATCHING BARBIE... I haven't seen it yet but I'm beyond excited to go and watch it whenever I'm able to!! Psh, he doesn't even need to buy a theater because you know he been had one for years!! But OUCH not the angst at the end ;( Ugh he literally loves and respects you so much, he can't fathom the thought of ever hurting you on purpose.

In your closet, there are two types of outfits. The ones you wear regularly, and the ones you wore only once because Pantalone makes you try on everything he buys you. Oftentimes you have to enlist your husband for help choosing outfits and accessories because you probably get overwhelmed by your closet being the size of a big bedroom 😭

[joelletwo]

(second post) extensively noted im RLY unclear on a lot of endgame gintama. i am disabled and it makes me a bad reader and im irritable abt it and i dont really want anyone to explain things to me on this Specific post lol. im just thinking things thru to myself.

hard to hold a lot of sugi's gayass trauma mental processes in my head all at once. the elisions between destroying the world [math symbol] destroying gintoki who stands in the way of that as a universal constant [math symbol] destroying the political foundations of the country from the inside using connections with the same forces (this guy does NOT understand the larger background plots of gintama and isnt sure if this is correct ->) that in part got his teacher killed and set this whole thing off* [math symbol] destroying himself.

(*side note i think there was a real missed opportunity to bookend all of sugi's political maneuvering which was treated by the plot as. SIGNIFICANT. and extensive. and effective. and one step ahead of all the chars we see pre-utsuro reveals. by revisiting it after the utsuro reveals and coming down on his schemes as either ultimately fruitless and really just getting him in over his head bc he didnt understand the real forces at play OR still effective bc sorachi wanted to retroactively say he and katsura understood all the shadowy background shenanigans. but zura kind of takes over the role of political maneuverer. but worse and stupider.)

(not a WHOLE lot under the cut its just getting unwieldy as a post.)

like if he just wants to kill himself why does he have to take the world down with him (katsura planning a beautiful death seppuku line). if he's doing this out of love for gintoki (canon fact.) why does gintoki need to be broken.

but if i stop trying to untangle what materially he means by all of that then i can understand sugi's actions post-execution as kind of in parallel with my understanding of oboro and utsuro's, which is to say, they are acting on behalf of what they think are universal laws of nature both because they believe in them and also to push the world to the breaking point to test their immutability and prove their fatalistic worldviews right or wrong. [with gintoki as the main tool to do so.]

sugi's inability to reconcile gintoki's decision to save them over sensei bc he cant understand how he'd possibly deserve it + resents gintoki for going against their understood mutual sensei as number one priority + grieves for gintoki having to bear that cross. um. turns into the desire to. destroy the world that made gintoki cry -> gintoki is an unshakeable barrier of protection in front of that world -> prove that the world sucks and isnt worth protecting by making it into sugi's own most pessimistic conceptions of it from childhood that shouyou had started to prove him wrong about -> push gintoki to a point where he will realize that he chose wrong and sugi was meant to die instead

and in parallel. avenge the death of the man who had shown him a better path in life -> throw away the life that man had sacrificed himself to protect -> um if i go down this path i just start rewriting reductionisms' proofs on seppuku and bushido again. waves hand. take the contradictory tragedy as laid out.

like utsuro trying the open mind+open heart gambit for one life and then immediately giving up. and oboro. well oboro is harder to unpack and summarize for me. but he serves utsuro's goals in service of his own goal of. proving rebellion like he and shouyou tried is futile? takes it upon himself to destroy shouyou's legacy to prove it's okay that shouyou-the-concept died. idk a lot of layers going on in oboro its not important to focus on here.

the. making a half-step of progress into a better world that you're having to pioneer and imagine into existence. and then, when u fail under the world's pushback, deciding to undo all that progress with your own hands. and one guy says no, it's still possible, and im going to do it. and you're like. what if i made it as hard as possible so that if u succeed despite that u realize my dearest hopes with IRREFUTABLE proof so that i dont have to face how scary it is to try without knowing if its even possible.

WHIIIIIIIICH. i find all of that incredibly sexy on all of their parts. i enjoy it a lot i like it when humans act out of irrepressible existential fear bc fuck man. living is scary. thats basically the backbone of every gintama antagonist and gintoki [who carries on shouyou's desire to fight and win against his own nature, and thus is himself an antagonist].

whiiiiiiiiiiich. makes it so interesting that these three specifically. other than bansai lol. are the ONLY!!!!!! real casualties of the story conclusion. that gintoki DOES carry thru and realize all their hopes of the world for them by beating them as obstacles. AND they dont get to live and see the fruits of it. but im not prepared to unpack what that means narratively at this point in time.

[snikt111]

i have so many mixed ass feelinf about sniktfam.

logan fucked up as a dad to all his kids (bio/clone in particular) but i think like, as a reader, its important to also consider the situation. like is he an ass and did he further their misery? yes. but is it necessarily 100% his fault? no.

i think if he’d gotten the chance he could’ve been a good father. but he’s terrified of himself and terrified when he sees himself in his children— and ends up taking that out on them, usually through some form of neglect.

now, tbf, its complicated to say logan is a neglectful parent. he didn’t have any say or knowledge in laura’s creation or how she was raised; they only met when she was a young teen. and if you look at laura���s original appearance in x-men evo, you can even see that he’s trying, yk? similarly, in the comics, he does seem to want to try but has absolutely no idea how to do so without “corrupting her” i guess, to some degree, or triggering himself. so inevitably she is dumped with people who don’t understand her.

idk, that whole thing raises such an interesting thought to me— logan didn’t know she existed, so he can’t be blamed for her childhood or anything. however, once he knows she exists, is it on him to take care of a kid that is “apparently his”? to a large degree, yes. but he’s also his own person, yk. i don’t think it’s a fully valid argument to say it’s totally unreasonable that he didn’t want to fully become a father to her…

like don’t get me wrong, he still fucked up over and over and honestly didn’t really help laura nearly as much as he should. but it’s complicated. there’s nuance. but i do think the two of them should be able to heal and get to an actual family dynamic where thye care about each other. i especially think laura bonding with kitty AND jubes would help that. (also dont get me wrong remy is also lauras dad but yk)

and for gabby? i think logans reaction to her after he comes back is immediately “get tf away” bc hes Like That. but i think withh the help of laura they could also become actual family.

akihiro…. that’s a whole different subject, tbh. i think they should eventually get to a mutual understanding and a genuine care for each other, but rhey won’t ever stop fighting, and trust isn’t going to ever be great between them. and tbh, it’s fair for both of them to be so distrustful of the other.

i dont hate the idea of akihiro shaping up and becoming a better guy but i think the comics rushed it and made him “himbo vibes”. like dude hes so smart… he’s not just gonna get along with the other snikts so quickly. it will take SO much time and effort, and even when they’re at their healthiest, he and logan are still going to be at some degree of odds.

besides all that though? i wish logan and gabby interacted more. i think laura would be 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ about it for a long while at first, but eventually end up deciding it’s a good idea and it’s healing for both gabby and logan for them to be interacting like family— and in some ways, healing for her.

[mind0invader]

Vent + rant

Why is life so stressful as a teenager,

my friends always hangout together I feel left out no matter what, I get jealous over my friends having another friend, I feel like I’m 6-10 years old again, I used to get bullied and my ‘best friend’ would bully me and so would my other classmates because I was ‘weird’ nobody liked me and I have been left out and people only wanted to group with me when it had something to do with art because I was very good at it but no matter what I always feel alone, I hate socialising, I hate my family, I don’t want my friends I don’t feel like I fit in, I think I’m autistic and tried to actually open up to my parents about my feelings for once and hey got mad at me for thinking I was autistic, I hate my parent, I hate my older sister, she never takes me serious and whenever she talks to me it’s only her who is allowed to talk whenever I try to talk to her shes like shut up I don’t have time for you, I’m also the middle child so I have been left out a lot by my siblings and my family is religious and Muslim but I don’t even believe in god because I don’t get how it works but I’m scared to tell them because I’m scared of getting abused and yelled at like I used to get, I still remember that time where my father smashed my head to my plate bc I didn’t know what he meant by fixing my posture when I was 5 or 6, it’s always stressful at school like last year it was fine and easy and suddenly everything I’m doing is wrong and hard and suddenly I wonder what would happen if I disappeared or committed suicide would people actually notice me or apologies, I rot in my room constantly bc I hate talking I feel like everything gets worse and that I’m no one’s favourite, I get nervous easily when talking in front of people. I love drawing a lot and I want to become a comic artist but seeing that I suck at doing colouring and line-art and others are better just makes me feel useless and stupid, I don’t wanna work or talk to anyone I just wanna do my own thing and do what I want, I don’t wanna be a hijabi, I don’t like wearing it and I don’t want to but my older brother is pressing me into wearing it he keeps asking me why I won’t, I just don’t like wearing it, I don’t wanna cover my hair, I use my hair to calm down at stressful situations, I wanna get away from my family, I wanna call the cops, I just wanna die, I’m just a child and my parents don’t realise that, my mom presses me to learn subjects at home when it’s not even homework, its MY free time and it’s precious to me I don’t wanna waste it on that til I actually need it, I keep getting stress from everything, I feel like I get judged or no one will ever love me, I just wanna be a normal girl but I can’t, I feel like I’m already mature and my parents are always like why are you so serious and so does my sister think that I am overreacting when SHE is the one always trying to get me to do everything she tells me to like I’m a slave like I’m just your little sister like who the fuck do you think you are, I hate how my father yelled and abused me before but I don’t get hit since I don’t yell back and I just do what he says but I truly hate my family because of how they are acting my mom used to be normal I used to love her but since she got stress from that education she was trying to get, she is just another person, I wanna scream and yell so bad but I just can’t, I feel like throwing up whenever I cry, I am emotional and my sister always says some shit to me and laughs it off and tries to show me some stuff like nothing happened, I don’t forget everything that she pushes away I don’t forget whenever my parent act like they didn’t do anything wrong, I observe and hear a lot and understand how some people are and what type they are.

Why has my childhood always been so shit, why am I considered weird? Why can’t I just have a normal life with stress? Why is it that I am not allowed to sleep if the kitchen is not clean I’m not the one eating and dirtying everything like a pig, my parents are unfair when it comes to me and my siblings, I’m a girl so I have to clean everything, im not allowed to be on my phone before the kitchen is clean I have to help with everything, I have 2 other brothers that are old enough to clean and cook but my older brother always gets me to do stuff and tells me I can’t wear pants and T-shirt that’s for females, GIVE ME A BREAK, WHY IS LIFE TREATING ME THIS WAY, THERE IS A REASON WHY I DONT BELIVE IN GOD ANYMORE, why can’t life just give me a break, I just wished I was somewhere else maybe like in anime or just somewhere away from this, I hope I die soon somehow. I hate being a girl, I wished I was born a male not trans but born and treated like one because they have an easier life because WDYM I have to go through pain every month bc I’m not pregnant I’m just a 14 year old.

I also know this is idiotic to post

[bytedykes]

Nie mingjue and liu qingge for the character ask game?

Sexuality Headcanon: im a nieyao/3zun truther so like he likes men... lqg is my beautiful aroace swordguy <333

Gender Headcanon: I LOVE BUTCH WOMEN!!!! ok both of them are men to me as canon, but like. take my hand. butch nmj and he/him butch lqg okay?

A ship I have with said character: i guess i already said but Big fan of nieyao i like it when weird assholes tear each other into pieces ^-^ 3zun is also good. for lqg i like him in bingliushen but only the way i personally like it and not the way people usually do it. hes a part of their marriage in the sense that he's their nonsexual nonromantic chew toy that they like sooo much. also lqg/tlj can be really good sometimes (thinking of raitala's 'the reluctant suitor' series - very nice tianliu series but also one of my fave lqg characterizations i've seen lol he's such a weirdo in this one)

A BROTP I have with said character: nmj and nhs!!! i love you nie siblings you rock. also i like nielan childhood friends i think its very fun especially when they start falling apart in the later years <3 an interesting take ive seen before also is nmj&wq which is pretty fun. LQG&SQQ THE BESTIES <3 theyre everything !!! i really like them i like how much they genuinely enjoy each others company and how fucking Bad they are at like. being in a friendship its awesome. also as a treat for myself lqg&yqy is sooo tasty i love it when lqg genuinely likes and looks up to him and yqy is fond of him in turn. could a sect leader and his coworker-subordinate really be... friends?

A NOTP I have with said character: obviously ew incest ships but aside from that i cant really think of anything? lqg x romance my notp i think he's so aro. also okay. okay honestly. liushen sometimes NOT all the time but sometimes the way ppl act about it irks me and i automatically look away. like the blatantly ooc fandomized liushen. bye </3

A random headcanon: lqg forest puddle water drinkerrrr dkjaskdss no im kidding im kidding. my random headcanon ("random headcanon" lol) is that he has good dad energy. he could pull thru. give that man a baby :] can i plug spring in bloom here again does anyone want to read spring in bloom by kay my friend kay <3 also i think he's immune to sex pollen bc he's an aroace jock who just exercises it out of his system. no basis for this one other than it's hilarious

for nmj... i think he secretly has a very annoying sense of humor that many people don't know about but he terrorizes nhs with. dad jokes type of beat... da-ge jokes <3

General Opinion over said character: I FUCKING LOVE THESE GUYS!!!!! i love it when there is a guy with a big fucking sword who has sooo many problems. lol! anyway ok more specifically:

i thought nmj was very interesting while reading the novel and definitely had a "hey wtf dude" initial reaction to him, but he's reallyyy grown on me <3 partially bc he's been on my mind a lot and partially bc of his presence in cql! (cql nmj is my type also so that definitely did smth to me as well lol) i think he's a really interesting character to explore both bc of his general backstory and bc of his relationships w other characters, as well as the fact that (in the novel) we never really see him of completely sound mind, so there's lots of room to play w how you portray him. he's fun!

lqg i love soooo much i loved him from day ONE i loved him as soon as he showed up. he's so good. i think his appearance was a very funny surprise (?), esp the way sqq narrated it lmao, and i really like him in general. i loveee the loyal sword character trope and i like how lqg does it (so well <3). his general awkwardness and extreme talent to put his foot in his mouth is also really charming ("its ok you can just get a new disciple" what is wrong with him). i also think there's room to explore w him, especially his family + relationships w other sect members, i love you liu siblings... lqg is a character who goes through a lot of growth imo and it's very satisfying to see that + how his rs with sqq changes through the novel. lqg is also a character that is so fun to put into situations and also make fun of. bc he's so sucks <3 ANYWAY I FUCKING LOVE LQG if there is no lqg lovers on this earth i am dead etc

TYSM FOR THE ASK KAY <333 sorry it took me so long to answer LMAO it was really fun though

[junkartie]

I'm hearing 2 opinions on Erdogan and idk I wanted to ask you bcs I got both of them from non-natives. So the first says that he IS a good president, there is just too many outside factors trying to bring him down. And the second told me that he WAS a good a help for the country until he decided to care about some other things (colonisation ?) which eventually led to the current downfall. Maybe both are right or both are wrong, what do you think?

(can you tell I love political discussions because I don't I'm just really invested cause you're one of my fav blogs hehe)

Non natives love to defend Erdo which is why us Turks have a whole term for them. Most of it however DOES stem from the second option being true.

Erdogan was in fact a very good leader in his first few years of power, now my family personally never liked him, he technically was in power on the sidelines for 10 years until he became president 10 yrs go. He did many things like make hospitals and healthcare way more accessible, fixed a lot of roads and built bridges etc. Now you may go “jay, isnt that what a normal president is supposed to do ?” Well, yes. But the guy before him didnt do a whole lot, so him doing his literal job was enough to convince people he was good enough to keep around.

As time went on he started to take a way harsher approach. Slowly but surely the price and tax on everything went up. Religion started to be the hottest topic in turkey despite us being a secular country on paper.Slowly festivals became too loud, protests were bothersome, pride parades were sinful, gays werent considered people, music after 12 wasnt allowed, Eurovision was something too embarrassing for our country to take place in, alcohol was a luxury that only the desperate & sinful tried to buy, women were not obedient enough, the legal age to get married was too high, sex before marriage became a big topic, rapists and murderers would walk freely, femicide got to a brand new high and a whole lot more.

This all happened slowly and gradually. By the time we thought to speak up on any of this the i-don’t-even know, 60% yearly inflation rate had worn us down. A dollar was no longer 2.5 TL, it was close to 25. Nothing could be bought with minimum wage. Whatever you bought, you bought a second one for the govt in tax (a phone here costs twice the price of one in america). People who vote for him mostly do so because all media outlets are heavily censored and totally in his favor. He has control of literally everything. Literally!! He hosted a referendum where he legally was given so much power that he can change whatever he wants on a whim. He will confidently lie out of his teeth and tell his supporters that the reason everything is so expensive is because of his opposition (who have virtually no power) + its fine because even if we’re poor we’re closer to god and his supporters eat it up because they have some fucked up parasocial relationship with him.

Right now we’re screwed beyond belief. The election was rigged in his favor but despite everything he either wasnt able to end it on the first round or intentionally didnt so he could win by a higher margin on the next round. The house is fucked, the opposition lost a ton of seats to highly religious islamic fanatics who straight up advocate for sharia law. That and the president literally had an alliance with a terrorist organization who want 15 year olds to get married, theyre also in the house. Its great.

Now we wait for the 28th, but its going to take a miracle for Erdogan to lose. I have virtually 0 hope at this point. One thing is foreigners defending him, but any turk who does so deserve everything they get. I truly hope anyone who voted for him suffer a fate worse than death (at this rate, they will). It may sound harsh, but ive seen no one in power except for this absolute sorry of an excuse, cunt of a man. My teens and childhood was wasted away with terrorist attacks and a staged coup, along with a power hungry man who made every walking day of my life worse than what it could have been.

Basically, wish us the best of luck i guess lol.

[fortunefool]

hi hello everyone!! im here w yu sera and her luck manip ability!! aka ur rabbit's foot & broken mirror in one! ik ik ... 2 in 1 .... what a steal ! formal descriptions / pages will b coming this weekend!!!

dc is avail. upon req if u prefer it over tumblr ims (which im ok with, btw!!) & like this if u wna put our beasts in some situations (if u want to plot) ! OH! and ty to evry1 who has alrdy reached out!! tw for mentions of : death, murder, drowning, sewer side.

ㅤㅤㅤ 𖹭 ㅤㅤㅤ statistics .

name : yu sera. (유세라)

birthday: 980922. (twenty5)

hometown: yongin, south korea.

education: master degree in nursing, second yr.

residence: yellow hall('s resident advisor)

ㅤㅤㅤ 𖹭 ㅤㅤㅤ biography & co .

you see, sera's life has been L after L after L, back to back

her mother? poor, modest, v excited to have a daughter. her f*ther? HWAKTHU. fluctuating between rich and poor, gambling his life away, alw fucking around, messing w the wrong people, scamming!

scammer on scammer hate crime ensues when a dubious low budget genie irl tells sera's dad "give me all the $$$ u have. but dw dw! i can grant u a wish... such as.... i'll give ur newborn daughter the power of Luck." and he leaves out the part that Luck is bad n good.

and what does her dad do? he listens!!! a born, living, lucky charm? sign him tf up!!!! he waits for sera to be born, tells her mom that he has to leave n he will take sera (so he doesnt have to share the lucky charm yknow), the mom tries to fight for the daughter but... ope... person w money vs person w no money.... yea... head low.

sooooo, she spends her childhood pretty happy. daddy's girl n all! w an ability that she believes to be some form of Good Luck Manip. she sees her dad as the best man in the world and he. loves. it. why? bc it makes her ability v powerful and he keeps on winning, buying expensive things, not being caught etc etc... just living the best life off of sera... but ofc. nothing lasts forever.

sera enters her teenage years and hell breaks loose. she accidentally learns that her mother didnt abandon them (as per her dad's fake sob story), she figures out that her dad is no Fair businessman and it alllll comes crumbling down.

so young and so shaken up with new, different emotions, she quickly learns that she can manifest bad luck as well. luckily(?) for her dad, she was still in denial so the bad luck wasnt strong enough to k*ll him off.... but it did take away all of his riches which cld count as murder in his books. long story short, he becomes a Monster, trashes her things, kicks her out, leaves her out in the street w nothing.

i'll try to make this part rlly brief bc i want her Trauma to be traumaing but i also dont want to get into graphic deets!! couch surfing at a friend. friend dies. parents hate her. sera starts searching for her mom, someone tells her that she's dead. ope... sera tries to end it all bc of that by drowning. randomly gets saved. ends up living w this cute ol lil lady, a retired nurse, who feels like a grandma figure for sera... baow. accidental bad luck manifestation makes them get into an accident, guess who survives thru survival luck and who doesnt. yea....

so ... you may be thinking ... now what. WELL. she hears abt sua ... abt the Patch (one that she cldnt afford/get her hands onto) so she decides well. im sick of being the bad guy (accidentally) all the time, im sick of spiraling, im sick of my ability fluctuating. let me become a nurse and help out! maybe i'll finally get to use my power for proper good this time....

soooooo she tries to cheer up during her uni years. she gets more control over her ability but theres still lots to learn! her emotions still affect her deeply but its no longer THAAAAAAAAT bad.

her goals? become a v v v good nurse. gain complete control over her ability and use it w her job. help ppl w her power. find her mom. and... devious smile..... find her dad to k*ll him w the bad luck.

ㅤㅤㅤ 𖹭 ㅤㅤㅤ ability .

luck manip!!! she can give u good luck or bad luck!!! her eyes turn green when it's good luck & black when it's bad luck! she can touch u, look at u, think of u, it works either way! ofc, she can do more w a touch than w a thought!

she can make you get the luck you need to find your keys or to win the lottery! she can make you spill ur coffee all over ur new clothes or get u vvv sick! anything goes! if it's a casual ez kind of luck (keys, coffee), then she'll need a few moments to regain her energy. if its smth more extreme (lottery, sickness), she needs a few days (even up to a week), to recover!!! the more complex it is, the more it drains her energy!

it's all within d laws of physics & limits of 'reality' ! so she cant get you to magically materialize ur lost keys back and she cant spill invisible coffee on u! ALSO!!! this ability only works in like... idk.... a 100-200 miles radius!

her Survival Luck is also present n exists and she can (and has alrdy) managed to survive a bunch of extreme situations (see above)! however, the Way that she survives it.... out of her control fr.... cld be a scratch, cld be 5 broken bones, not up to sera!

ㅤㅤㅤ 𖹭 ㅤㅤㅤ brief personality .

she's v chill and looooooves helping people!!! not super hyper BUT still a fun girl nonetheless! not boring by any means despite being v toned down and lowkey!

DESPITE the previous bullet point, she is extremely afraid of getting attached to people and LET ALOOOOONE love them so she tries to keep everyone at arms length. why? obv bc of her ability and her fear of not being able to control it properly... she doesnt want another friend + grandma incident.

has a tendency to become mellow / nostalgic and can be caught overthinking... which she tries to do while on that nullivi .... ofc! LDFDFGJJ

ㅤㅤㅤ 𖹭 ㅤㅤㅤ plots .

a few friends????? a few foes?????? a few younger ppl @ yellow hall she's helped out as a resident advisor??? someone who tries to get close to her but shes ADAMANT on not letting that happen?

ppl affected by her good luck..... what abt ppl affected by her bad luck.... ooo swearing up and down that she didnt mean it and it was accidental... cld be true or not. ppl accusing her of using her powers when she didnt? OOOO what abt using the bad luck on a person that she was told was a bad person but sera was only manipulated into thinking soooooooo ooooooouuuuu

someone who's known her ever since she was a teenager? watching her go thru the whole spiral of bad luck??? maybe theyre older and even told her abt sua!!!

what if there's someone who jus doesnt believe that she has an ability? or they do and they think its a stupid one? NLKFJGN idk...

i kinda want lots of angst for her.... i think it'd be fitting.... lets put sera and ur muse thru the pain machine tgt!

THANK YOU FOR READING / SKIMMIN THRU THISSSSSSSSSS SMUAAAAAAAAAAAAACH!!

[tunemyart]

Gelphie, 6

6. How they decorated their bedroom

We see their room in the musical, so I'll answer this for the book! Galinda ofc is obsessed with image, and projecting a very specific kind of said image - sheeeee's rich! Sheeeeee's definitely part of this social class she's trying to fit her way into! Despite the fact that for the first year she was actively trying not to let anyone inside her room bc she was so ashamed of her forced association with Elphaba, I def think in the beginning she lived and breathed the image she was trying to become, absolutely not an expression of self, and I think as she got access to the other girls and their rooms, she adjusted accordingly in an attempt to match them while Elphaba watched in silent judgment across the room. Honestly I'm thinking like prints or knockoff copies of paintings by whoever's popular - not whoever the art circles are talking about bc they're causing a stir, that's not safe enough and would require her to have a divisive opinion about it, I mean absolutely inoffensive stuff that you say 'that's nice' about but blends in the background. Thrifted knickknacky stuff that's absolute fluff that is close enough to what she imagines populates the richer girls' houses. Honestly maybe some doilies. Fluffy bedding and a canopy she'd put in on the four poster. The irony being ofc that all the rich girls know she's not rich and not of their class, and if they saw all this stuff they'd be like cringe she's trying too hard, poor silly stupid Galinda to think she's actually one of us.

(Elphaba doesn't decorate her side of the room at all as commentary on what's happening on the other side of the room, and out of both a lack of sentimental items to decorate with and a complete lack of desire to do so regardless.)

By the time Galinda shifts into Glinda, I think she'd toss out a bunch of this stuff and put up art she has an opinion on, perhaps that she'd seen out with Elphaba and debated with her, perhaps that Elphaba herself bought her from some artist in Railway Square and makes Glinda feel oddly warm when she looks at on her wall, and she'd keep it there even if she didn't actually aesthetically love the piece, which is also, after all, cheap. I think she'd have a lot more fun with her love of architecture too, def a lot more books placed prominently at the very least. The canopy on her four poster stays but the fluffy lacy stuff on her bed gets replaced with comfy stuff she actually likes. She visits home and brings back a childhood stuffed animal or two or three. She and Elphaba argue over whether it's an animal or Animal.

(Elphaba starts to accrue things that aren't books too, from Boq and Crope and Tibbett and Fiyero and Nessa and most of all Glinda. Most she either throws away unsentimentally if she has no practical need of/desire for them, but some she places haltingly on her bedside table, and one she hangs on her wall, the lone thing she's hung up on a sea of neutral beige. This is also from Glinda, and it's a piece of modern art by the same Railway Square artists who'd created the one she'd purchased for Glinda that hangs directly across the room. Glinda had laughed when Elphaba put it up on the dare, knowing Elphaba liked it less than she did, but neither take them down. The very idea of it feels wrong.)

((Glinda hangs onto both when she moves out of the room and marries vaguely into the class she'd been after. Chuffrey is too kind and refined to do anything like wrinkle his nose but he does say something like my dear that's an interesting choice of art do you really believe it quite goes with the rest of the room? To which Lady Chuffrey says its my bedroom and I'll hang up whatever art I damn well please, and that's the end of that.))

[yuukei-yikes]

What are your thoughts on post-STR Hiyori and Haruka?

this rather became a hiyori post but hehe. under the cut

i think theyre such an interesting duo because they're considered and welcomed as members of the mekakushi dan, but they both kind of arrive late.

these 2 and ayano are the ones who spent recent time inside the daze but ayano has her whole family and i think hiyori particularly feels. weird about ayano. because they're related.

THE THING ABT HIYORI or how i interpret her at least, she's conflicted about her family because. lol she had this secret sister her parents never told her about?? she suddenly finds out she has nieces and nephews?? she runs away to the city without them knowing?? what are ayaka and hiyori's parents like to cause this reaction on both their daughters...

ok im getting a bit off topic, this isn't a hiyori analysis BUT i say this to justify hiyori being a little weird with ayano+mekatrio. i think ayano especially would try ridiculously hard to have a relationship with hiyori... she's delighted about having MORE family, especially from her mom's side since it's always been like. a secret. ayano approaches her with the big sister mindset of course

but since she doesn't KNOW hiyori, she fumbles spectacularly. ayano's overexcited approach isn't well received by hiyori's conflicted feelings about not only the tateyamas but also everything that's happened to her. idk i think it would irk hiyori that ayano just ASSUMES they're gonna get along and be best friends. i think generally, post str hiyori is more of her serious side and not so much the cheerful act anymore. i think it's there for when she's taking it easy especially around momo for example. but otherwise...hiyori's rly serious i think

ON THE OTHER HAND, there's hibiya and momo. i think thats who hiyori is the closest to/normalest to in the dan, BUT THE THING IS... hibiya and momo are already closer to each other than they are to her. ofc we can argue it with hibiya, ive always and will always choose to interpret hibiya and hiyori as childhood friends so hibiya is in fact this person she's relied on and been with for her whole life!! and they most definitely deal with separation anxiety post str lmao and share a unique bond

BUT in the trio that forms with hibiya hiyori and momo, hiyori can tell they're close. hiyori is jealous by both sides because wtf that's KISARAGI MOMO and she's my best friend :3 but she's bester friends with HIBIYA?!?!? WTF IM HER BIGGEST FAN THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. bur also... hibiya is MY best friend not HER best friend. so its double jealousy LOL nowadays hibiya finds comfort in momo rather than on her bc he doesn't wanna trouble her, he's always been the crybaby of the two and hiyori's always had to pick him up... anyways she enjoys her time with them but DOES harbor some jealousy and feeling like an outcast

ANYWAYS that's where I'd start talking about haruka. ok kind of. im still talking about hibiya and hiyori. i think hibiya and hiyori feel completely different about the konoha situation... i honestly see it being in all sorts of ways, them accepting it or them being against haruka, both having the same opinion or different, etc. BUT PERSONALLY i like the idea that hibiya is completely and utterly against haruka's existence and thinks it's unfair konoha had to go. while hiyori is more understanding and defends haruka. i think it's a huge point of division for hibiya and hiyori... not to the point of causing a fallout or anything but it's a thing they know are in disagreement about.

i think it comes from different coping methods and the different circumstances they were in. like... hibiya's more with the urgency/denial and rly acts his age about it. like with him being convinced hiyori IS SOMEWHERE and HAS TO BE FOUND AND SAVED but he also learns to let go and be open with momo. coming back to childhood friends hibihiyo i think hibiya wears his heart in his sleeve with hiyori, while hiyori acts like nothing is wrong and never opens up and would immediately assume killing is the immediate solution to someone seeing her cry. i like to think hiyori's so rough with hibiya because, and these are purely headcanons: 1. he was the one person to treat her normally and not like a princess, then stopped when he develops a crush on her 2. he is the only person who's seen her cry. so she's like AUGHHH

anyways back to the konoha thing, hibiya's really mourning him (everyone is, but hibiya is kind of an ass about it) while hiyori looks at it from a different perspective. she's like, konoha is why i'm alive he wouldn't want me to be angry. also that's ridiculous and furrowing my brow would give me wrinkles 🙄 and she knows haruka was in the daze too so she's like. i was in there too i know what it's like not to be chosen and be left behind, it's cruel and unfair. and she feels for him. quick sidetrack about whether or not the daze ppl can meet each other... apparently they can but MY PERSONAL hc is everyone can do that EXCEPT haruka because of his link to the outside world, or like ppl can come see him but he can't really go to other dazes bc he HAS to be looking through his own eyes outside at the same time so he cannot leave his own daze. as soon as saeru takes over his body and he can't see outside anymore his daze is open that's why he gets to interact with shintaro&ayano when they come get him. ANYWAYSSS i speak from a hc where hiyori and haruka never meet inside the daze but are aware of each other's circumstances. if they did meet inside the daze it just adds to hiyori having so much empathy for haruka but yeah personally i like the idea haruka was just alone for the 2(+hibihiyo timeloop he had to watch) years. its more tragic like that (gets booed)

bc of this hiyori does hear haruka out while hibiya doesnt give him A CHANCE. like really for hibiya it's just that he needs more time to understand and he just. he needs to be angry for a bit. because he's a middle schooler and being mad at everything and the world is kinda how it goes so of course hibiya needs a damn minute

from haruka's perspective he is also super attached to hibiya and hiyori. we rly don't talk enough about how haruka's access to view what konoha did means he spent a lot of one sided time with hibiya & hiyori. he's 100% attached to them!! same with the whole dan and the one sided friendship thing "omg theyre gonna want konoha not me" thing i always talk about❤️ but with hibiya and hiyori it's even more concrete because not only is he attached but!! he rly feels like he owes it to konoha to maintain a bond!! konoha is most likely the one in the passenger seat now, seeing through him... haruka is sure he wants to see hibiya and hiyori!!!

so hiyori does hear him out and find out he saw everything, even the kagerou days timeloop and idk....i think they'd bond over the konoha situation, being unchosen by the daze, joining the dan last, having people inside the dan they're very close to yet these people ARE close to the rest so they feel like outcasts... hiyori hates to (and wont) admit that she finds a kinship similar of momo and hibiya's, with haruka !! sniff sniff...they are. best friends.

i think when hibiya and hiyori visit they stay at shintaro and momo's place. hiyori is in the middle of the sibling dynamic of shintaro momo and hibiya and tbh SHES ALSO A PART OF THIS. SHE VERY EASILY FITS INTO THIS SIBLING BANTER they all act like siblings not to mention mrs kisaragi probably adopts the hell out of them so its like.literally family times. but hiyori will NEVER admit that bc 1. girl thats a lot 2. she kinda likes being dramatic. again middle schoolers be like fuck the world.. idk was that just me. i feel like hating the world when ur 13 is a pretty universal experience but maybe im wrong. anyways its a difficult age even when ur not in a timeloop so hiyoris going thru it

anyways thats to say she gets out to go see haruka a lot. so she goes to harutaka apartment and theyre ALWAYS home bc they work from home so she's like hi. im here to see ur cat. ( <- pretty true but also wants to hang out with haruka) and haruka's like :3 ok come in. and they eat and chat and HANG OUT AND THEYRE BEST FRIENDS. and hiyori even just stays there watching tv while haruka works. sometimes she wants to sleep over but is too embarrassed to ask. takane is also there❤️ ig bc of this a bond would form between them too but we arent talking abt that. but i do think hiyori's a little iffy with takane for being haruka's partner. not in the HE'S MINE way. i just think since hiyori and haruka are so close she's protective and she's like u break his heart i break ur legs😐<- from a 12 year old girl. takane would laugh but knows it comes from loving haruka which happens to be takane's expertise so she can respect the enthusiasm. but from hanging out there/finding out their backstory hiyori probably grows to like takane. but again she loves being dramatic so she still insists to be indifferent towards her. but also keeps urging them to get married. not cuz she cares abt them getting married but she wants to go to a wedding. loses all interest when they tell her they wouldn't care to have a wedding

AND A QUICK acknowledgment of hiyori having a crush on konoha. first of all i think it's funny as hell bc konoha is weird as fuck and she's like omg...so dreamy... but also it's that she thinks he's really cute, its not REALLY a crush. my friends in hs following the seniors they thought were cute kinda vibes. turning red movie when the girls all are obsessed with the guy working at the grocery store. jandkejfjejd it's just sweet and funny and since it's about his looks yeah it'd translate to haruka post str but yknow after everything that happened i dont think hiyori would be delusional abt crushing on him?? if it still happened though id think its funny. i think ayano would weaponise haruka to try to hang out with hiyori

[shoheiakagi]

Okay, but is it selfish to ask for one for each of the boys? I just can't choose between them because they're all so good, even our favourite manwhore Chitose! You can choose the prompt for each boy to make it easier, if that makes it less selfish!

hiii! and no, its not selfish at all! i wasn’t sure if you meant all of hmr or just the abc boys, so i just posted for the abc boys. if you want more members, or different prompts for the boys, dont hesitate to send another ask!

Send me an emoji + a character!

❤ - What's something you feel like your muse needs to work on for a relationship to happen or for a relationship to be healthy? Do you think that's possible? Or is it something that'll likely never happen?

Akagi: he would have difficulty placing boundaries with some of his friends while he’s in a relationship tbh. in mor, we see that shouhei literally risks his life to rescue his friend from a dangerous gang by joining hmr. assuming that he does not have any romantic interest in her and that they don’t get together, one scenario i always like to entertain is what if he happened to be in a relationship then - how does his s/o feel that he was ready to throw his life away to save someone who’s just a friend? when he went to go attack the gang on his own, there was flashbacks showing his friend being all carefree about dating this dangerous guy and making this cheeky remark about shouhei will obviously come and save her if something goes wrong. so its easy to assume that her and shouhei have been close friends for a long time and that its common for him to do favors for her whenever she asks. if he’s in a relationship, that friendship will cause some problems bc i can’t see his s/o being okay with their man joining gangs to save another girl. i also think that based on what we saw on mor, shouhei’s friend wouldn’t even realize that she’s overstepping her boundaries (think of all those popular tiktoks and ig reels where girls post about their boyfriend’s girl ‘best friend’).

💐 - What small things go a long way for your muse? What small favors can someone do to get on their good side?

Bandou: it’s no secret that bandou has a huge inferiority complex. since childhood, he’s used to being looked over in favor of more interesting and attractive people, and not having a lot of people really check up on him. So when he finally finds his person, he’s pleasantly surprised at the small, intimate gestures he receives from them. Getting him a cup of coffee because they know he needs his caffeine boost after a long night of playing video games, cooking him a nutritious meal (because goddamn when was the last time bandou had vegetables), going out on a jog with him, cheering him on during his gaming tournament, etc. But what he really appreciates is when his partner knows how to set him straight. He would never admit to it, but Bandou knows that he can be arrogant ass sometimes, his insecurities getting the best of him. So a partner that is straight forward with him and calls him out on his shit actually gets a lot of respect. Although he would claim he wants someone soft and sweet, he likes it better when his partner challenges him, but still loves him with all of his flaws.

🍨 - What are expectations your muse has had about love that either was false or impossible to live up to?

Chitose: i think when he was younger, he had a more idealistic approach to love, especially when he was with his late girlfriend during high school. At the time, she seemed like she was his endgame and he was ready to tie the knot and start a family with her after high school; she would finish her studies in college while he would work some labor job and take care of her. But that dream of his takes a hit when he gets dumped, and then completely shatters when he finds out about her declining health. I also hc chitose to be from a broken family, so his late gf was his home and his safe space. When she first passes away, he starts getting angry, drinking himself into oblivion, sleeping around with different people, trying out illegal drugs. basically everything he promised he wouldn’t do. although he has calmed down a lot, he hasn’t healed and has a very jaded and skeptical view on love

🖤 - What's something that will instantly make them dismiss someone as a romantic partner

Dewa: hate to be that person but i see dewa to be veryyyy pretentious. He could find someone attractive and interesting enough to take out on a date, but get ready to bail once he hears them talk about the latest celebrity dating news, how they think their friend’s bf might be into them, how they’re team barbie instead of oppenheimer (#teambarbie4eva), etc. After spending so much time with Chitose (and a lot of the other hmr members) Dewa does not have enough patience for yet another dumb shallow, obnoxious person in his life, especially when he’s considering them as a potential romantic partner. He also finds it a major turn off when someone is promiscuous, and has no problem with casual hook ups. Dewa wants someone that he can have intellectual debates with, not another starbucks crazed bimbo.

🎀 - Do they aim to impress their partner often? If they do, how so?

Eric: I think Eric has a very shallow take on what it takes to make a healthy relationship. He has very limited experience in the romance department, so all of his knowledge are from cheesy old movies he was forced to watch and stories from some of the other hmr guys. So when he finds himself in a relationship, he ends up overexerting himself to impress his partner. Money being spent recklessly to buy expensive jewelry, afford expensive dates, and not enough being saved for his own necessities, etc. He believes that impressing his partner with materialistic objects will make them happy and not leave him

🍓 - Do dates matter to them? Do they often put a big focus on anniversaries, partners birthdays, Valentines day etc?

Fujishima: i see fuji as a very low maintenance type of guy tbh. He’s very sweet and caring, but he just doesn’t get why people make such a big deal about anniversaries. Fuji sometimes puts a little effort into celebrating his partner’s bday by buying pastry from a local bakery, but i can see him completely forgetting valentines and anniversaries. And it really depends on how his partner is like, but this can cause a lot of conflict in his relationships since his partner might think he’s not taking them seriously.