#but he DOESN'T know and will never know that his failure to be an adult when he was a child is not a wrongdoing on his part

[thesmokinpossum]

Wow, Tom really spent decades in a perpetual fawning reaction and convinced that it was the absolute best life he could have ever gotten 🙃

[july-19th-club]

we talk a lot about how the shtriga case was bad parenting and horrible just being-a-person-ing from john back when the boys were KIDS but this time im talking about how . it's also horrible parenting when the kids are adults. like you held the guilt of that night over your son's head in his childhood, you looked at him different, you know? and that was worse. and THEN he's a grown twenty-something and he hasn't seen you in half a year because you're back on your old obsessive quest and you keep him busy by sending him cases to work. you send him this one because you know your son, and you know that when he realizes what he's hunting here, the same child-devouring creature he once left his little brother vulnerable to (although you never told him what he needed to look out for, and never gave him a reason behind the orders, and never explained), and that he will hound himself over it and insist upon finishing it and you allow him to do the job and you allow him to continue to take responsibility for your decisions seventeen years ago, when you left an anxious eight-year-old alone with a preschooler for three solid days to be bait for a thing that would kill them. he finishes this case thinking he's finally righted the wrong from back then, finally made up for his failure (as a CHILD) to protect his brother, to follow the orders, to obey and behave, and he'll never be corrected about this. he will insist to the boy in this episode that it's not that kid's fault, he will insist that it is not really his father's fault, no, dad gave me an order and i didn't listen. don't. don't. but nobody will ever tell him this one wasn't his fault

[synchodai]

When I say Tyland Lannister is my favorite character...

I am being 100% dead serious. Here is why I prefer this seemingly average nobleman over the many many many fan favorites in Fire and Blood.

Tyland Lannister is a second son in a story about second sons. Whether his feelings on this are as strong as Aemond's or Daemon's, we never know for sure in the books, but it's obvious that he's subservient to a mirror image of himself who only has more authority because of a few seconds separation between twins. It's a great display of both the arbitrariness and rigidity of succession.

His initial role in the Dance is as the master of coin for the greens. He's depicted as a typical Lannister: charming, comely, and cunning. He did what any savvy accountant would do and divided the crown's treasury amongst different allied regions for safe-keeping, ensuring that if King's Landing were sacked, their enemies wouldn't loot their coffers dry and they'd still have plenty of gold for their war efforts.

And of course, King's Landing gets sacked. Tyland is put in the black cells and ordered to be tortured by Rhaenyra to extract the gold's whereabouts. Winter is coming, people are starving and rioting, her army is dwindling, so she desperately needs that gold. Tyland is gelded, maimed, disfigured, and blinded but the torturers get nothing out of him.

Mind you, this man has been a rich, pampered bureaucrat all his life and he endured all that without breaking. When Aegon II releases Tyland from those cells, he has no fingernails, his eyes have been gouged out and/or sewn shut, this man who was once known for his good looks doesn't look human anymore — but he still manages to maintain his wits so much so that he plays an important role after the Dance.

Even with Rhaenyra dead, there are still armies raising their banners for her eldest surviving son, Aegon Trois. Tyland tells Adult Aegon to kill Child Aegon because obviously, the latter threatens the former's claim and Tyland's understandably angry over what his mom did. Aegon Dos is like, nah, I'll keep the boy hostage instead — that'll keep the armies at bay more than outright killing him.

So Tyland volunteers to go to Myr to hire sellswords for Aegon 2 since their armies are pretty much kaput after six years of this civil war. Tyland is blind at this point I remind you — there is a huge chance this man will never get to go home again. But he does it anyway, because even after years of fighting, he keeps his unwavering loyalty to the monarch he declared for.

Aegon II dies while Tyland is in Myr, and Tyland goes back to Westeros just in time to see Cregan Stark use his powers as the new Hand to marry Aegon III and Princess Jaehaera to unite the green and black sides. Cregan dusts off his hands, says my work here is done, warns the boy king not to trust anyone, then leaves for the North for everyone else to sort this mess out.

Now comes the part where Tyland shines as a character. He becomes the Hand of Aegon III and when you see his policies detailed in the book, it's clear that his goal is focused on repairs and renumerations. After what happened to him, he has every right to be spiteful and bitter against the blacks, but instead he "claimed a curious failure of memory, insisting that he could not recall who had been black and who had been green." He abolished the heavy taxes imposed on the smallfolk, sent out gold to lords whose holdings had been devastated during war, and set out to rebuild the Realm's granaries and fleet. Cleaning up is a tedious, unglamorous job — and because of his monstrous appearance and former allegiances, Tyland was looked upon with distrust.

And yet, while other regents grasped for power and tried taking advantage of the 13-year-old King Aegon III, Tyland seemed to be different. If he wanted power he could have married his twin brother's widow and convinced the boy-king to route more resources towards Casterly Rock and the Westerlands. But he didn't.

Instead, he genuinely seemed to be a father figure to Aegon III.

Tyland Lannister, blind and crippled, had always treated the king with deference, speaking to him gently, seeking to guide rather than command.

And for that, many lords saw him as a weak Hand. But Aegon, who cared for very little and never laughed and was always sullen, seemed to care for Tyland.

When the plague ravaged King's Landing, Tyland dutifully prioritized it over quashing the Ironborn raids at Lannisport. He was the last person to become afflicted with the Winter Fever, and the king sat by his Hand's side during his final hours. When the council starts discussing who should be the new Hand, Aegon (the boy who rarely ever speaks) says:

I would have Lord Rowan as my Hand. Ser Tyland thought well enough of him to offer him my sister’s hand in marriage, so I know he can be trusted.

This boy trusted Tyland, the man who only years ago wanted him dead.

So it's easy to imagine that this man saw Aegon III as the boy he was responsible for, as the son he could never have because of what the war had done to him. Tyland Lannister was a broken man who despite losing everything, his king and his brother and himself, kept a broken Realm and broken boy together when everyone else swarmed like vultures just trying to pick at carcasses.

What motivated this man's loyalty for a boy whose mother mutilated him? Did he regret pushing for the death of an innocent child and this was his penance? Did this man who gave everything for his cause think that this boy was something that could still give all that sacrifice and tragedy meaning? Was the mercy and kindness he afforded an apology for the horrifying trauma that scarred this boy — did he feel responsible for his mother's downfall and the failure to save his uncle? Did his disfigurement and blindness allow him to let go of the man he once was and become someone capable of seeing the folly of pride and power?

Here is his obituary in Fire and Blood:

Ser Tyland Lannister had never been beloved. After the death of Queen Rhaenyra, he had urged Aegon II to put her son Aegon to death as well, and certain blacks hated him for that. Yet after the death of Aegon II, he had remained to serve Aegon III, and certain greens hated him for that. Coming second from his mother’s womb, a few heartbeats after his twin brother, Jason, had denied him the glory of lordship and the gold of Casterly Rock, leaving him to make his own place in the world. Ser Tyland never married nor fathered children, so there were few to mourn him when he was carried off. The veil he wore to conceal his disfigured face gave rise to the tale that the visage underneath was monstrous and evil. Some called him craven for keeping Westeros out of the Daughters’ War and doing so little to curb the Greyjoys in the west. By moving three-quarters of the Crown’s gold from King’s Landing whilst Aegon II’s master of coin, Tyland Lannister had sown the seeds of Queen Rhaenyra’s downfall, a stroke of cunning that would in the end cost him his eyes, ears, and health, and cost the queen her throne and her very life. Yet it must be said that he served Rhaenyra’s son well and faithfully as Hand.

Tyland wasn't extraordinarily badass, noble, or even skilled. He was an excellent politician but no way the best. But I think that's what makes him compelling to me — that he's this down-to-earth depiction of a POW, a war veteran by all accounts, trying to pick up the pieces and slowly glue what remains of the Realm and himself back into something vaguely human.

We tell so many stories about the glory, the tragedy, and the losses of war. But I think it's important and beautiful to tell stories of those bravely and optimistically choosing to keep living in the aftermath as well.

[brighteuphony]

On the way back from Tea Country with Chakra-poisoned Kakashi tryna "casually" fish for some info before Sakura comes in with the one-hit KO on accident.

So she's got some complicated feelings for Kakashi as well, though they're a lot milder than what she feels about Sasuke.

There's a moment in my AU where Sakura goes through a deep reflection ritual, in which she has to face Inner Sakura -who is representative of all the ugly truths her day-to-day self hasn't been able to face- and come to terms with who she is.

During that time, she's got to face the music.

The music:

Sasuke is the last prodigal son of a clan that was brutally butchered. He's a genius with one of the most powerful dojutsu out there (that he has no idea how to use) and is coming in hot with more baggage than an airport terminal.

Naruto is not normal. She doesn't know what he is (as in-canon, she finds out after the time-skip and the Sakura from above is right on the cusp of Shippuden), but there's nothing normal about a kid who can pull wild orange chakra and who can fight Gaara's tailed beast and come out on top. He's got the personal attention of the Hokage, but the entire village has banded against him for some reason. He's special.

Kakashi is a war veteran turned Jounin and an infamous ANBU captain (I headcanon that some ANBU names are leaked specifically to generate a healthy level of fear/caution among other villages- which is why we know of Itachi/Kakashi/Shisui very publically) and is ALSO the last prodigal son of an old noble clan.

(No way a bookworm like Sakura didn't consume every publically available scroll on Konoha clans).

It doesn't take the big brains to figure out that he got team 7 specifically to help deal with Sasuke's trauma/teach him about the Sharingan, and put a leash on Naruto (and in the future, when she finds out that Madara was able to control the Kyuubi with the Sharingan as well as the knowledge that Kakashi was Minato's student it becomes even clearer why he got the Sasuke/Naruto combo.)

And Sakura? Sakura is a civilian. No clan, no dojutsu, nothing to her name except great chakra control. She's the literal meat in the meat-grinder of the military machine of Konoha, the acceptable sacrifice in a group of otherwise invaluable shinobi. She's just a...girl. (And it doesn't help that she was obsessed with Sasuke instead of training, furthering the gulf between her and Kakashi.)

Kakashi was absolutely not built to handle her- in fact, Kakashi has NO idea how to relate who hasn't gone through a mountain's worth of trauma or someone who hasn't been ingrained in the shinobi-as-a-tool lifestyle, and even then, he's not fully equipped to handle people who have (lmao Sasuke). Not to mention the man is a prodigy- he has no idea how to teach people who have to work hard to get somewhere in life. How do you teach someone if you've never had to 'work hard' to get there yourself?

So, Sakura understands that Kakashi was put in one of the most ridiculous situations of his career- a situation he had NO idea how to handle. She can forgive him for that. BUT, she can't forgive him for not trying his best.

Sakura spent a lot of time coming to terms with the fact that she rushed into the Chidori/Rasengan combo without a single idea of what she would do, but...Kakashi was a big reason for that.

She was HIS responsibility, and he fumbled that bag. Whatever his reasoning, whether it was to 'protect' her, or whether he thought she was worthless, whatever: he should have TRIED.

Kakashi was an adult with resources aplenty. He recognized that she had stellar chakra control but never bothered to teach her genjutsu or direct her to teachers who could pick up the slack.

And after the accident, he abandoned her again. Being forgotten in lieu of Sasuke and Naruto hurt...but she could heal. Being abandoned as some kind of martyr to Kakashi's failures as a teacher? It's gonna take a while for Kakashi to make that up to her...if he can muster the courage to face her.

Sakura finally understands why he preferred the memorial stone to the living. He already failed the dead, and it's easier to wallow in self-flagellation than it is to try and step up for the living.

Sakura stopped being a coward some time ago, and when Kakashi finally does the same, she'll forgive him.

Thank you so much for sticking with this wall of text! And thank you so much anon for the question! Once again, I really appreciate all the kind words people have been throwing my way. <3 <3 <3

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Friendly reminder that Gwen's father was most likely going to shoot her.

And Miguel might've legit saved Gwen's life.

Rewatching ATSV - This scene always just gets be HEATED. Everytime I catch something that makes me

'Okay. Okay yeah, yeah - AHHHHHHHHHHHH-'

And this time I realized. Oh. OH.

Gwen's dad was PLANNING to shoot her - Or.. if we consider cop training, he was mere seconds away from actually firing on her.

And he would've had Miguel not been there.

In Gwen's confrontation scene - her father WAS actively threatened and afraid of her. And from what we see, he was VERY VERY close to acting on it, more than you think.

The point in the scene begins with him pointing the gun at her, and as he speaks and Gwen begins to beg, he begins to gradually lower it.

Until she steps closer to him. And then he starts pulling it on her again.

He is literally re-raising the gun at his daughter, because she took a step towards him.

So not only is she his daughter, she's also like... 5'6 and sixteen years old.

And he's still afraid of her, enough so that when she takes even one step closer, he is ready to threaten her life again.

You can hear the fear in his voice, and I don't doubt for a second he would pull the trigger - either on a warning shot, or a 'nonlethal' blow.

We've all heard cops say it before. 'I panicked', 'it was self defense'.

And Friendly reminder-

MIGUEL saves Gwen's life here.

Now look at this first photo.

And before you keep reading, please guess what's really really REALLY bad about that photo. Just look.

Trigger Discipline.

If you don't know, trigger discipline is the concept taught to gun-owners in order to reduce accidental shootings and firings.

Trigger Discipline is the idea that your finger should NEVER be on the trigger of gun unless you plan to fire it in the next two-three seconds.

Otherwise, THIS is the proper position to hold a gun.

Gwen's father is a cop. He's 100% been trained in trigger discipline. He knows not to do this.

Which implies - George Stacy was ACTIVELY PLANNING on shooting Gwen right then and there. As in, seconds away from pulling the trigger.

Raising a gun to his daughter at close range, finger on the trigger.

I think his actions can speak for themselves. He was going to shoot her.

And the only reason he didn't, was because Miguel saw this - and forcefully took the gun from him. (Like a proper Spider-man put some respeckt on his name)

George didn't care that there were TWO adults standing there as witness. He didn't care that he's not supposed to touch the trigger. In that moment, truly all he cared about was imprisoning Gwen - by any AND ALL means necessary.

And to top this off -

Friendly reminder, he never apologized. For ANYTHING.

He doesn't apologize for pulling a gun on her. He doesn't apologize for forcing her into homelessness. He didn't apologize for accusing her of murder.

He doesn't even ADMIT that she DIDN'T KILL PETER.

All he does is quit and compliment her. No apology. No acknowledgment about how his identity as a cop turned him into a toxic horrible father. No acknowledgment that Gwen isn't a killer.

Just 'I quit'.

Had Miguel not been there - I'm very sure George would've posed a VERY real danger to Gwen's life.

He doesn't deserve to be forgiven. And really, considering his arc, glorification - and his failure to even apologize - it really goes to show that at some points ATSV really teeters on casual copaganda.

Also Miguel that was really really cool of you (you saving Gwen's life totally makes up for the whole chokeslamming Miles thing <3 /j)

[at1nys-blog]

A change of heart

Pairing: Kakashi Hatake x Naruto mother figure!reader

Summary: Naruto has left to train with Jiraya and you are left to wonder if he is doing okay.

A/N: let me get this out of my system thanks a lot don’t know if is going to kill my writer’s block but I see what happens with the asks I have in my draft. I have no idea what this is, if is bad please pretend nothing was written🙃. This is the longer ff I have wrote and is just crazy to me lol @charming-cherry0 here the Kakashi’s ff I’ve talked about hope you like it

You gave up a life filled with missions; a life of notority for the love you had-and still have to this day-for the people that took you in and raised you when your family died. You had promised to Minato and Kushina that you would take care of their son if anything happened to them. You didn't expect to fill in the role of a mother this soon.

When they sacrified themselves for the security of Konoha you were initially mad at them, leaving you just like your biological family did. Of course it wasn't their plan to die this young, not when they just became partens for the second time. You had to live with the fact that you had a job do to, to take care of your little brother Naruto.

Time passed, Naruto grew up and you couldn't help but being reminded about that night. Mostly because the villagers would always bring it up when walking past you and the Jinchūriki, making the young ninja ask questions, and you had to tell him white lies about it, the Third Hokage had made everyone promise to never reveal the true identity of his parents.

It broke your heart to lie to him, keeping him in the shadows of his lineage, but you knew that if words spread he was the son of the famous Minato Namikaze, the Fourth Hokage of the Leaf Village, he was going to be in more danger than he already was for having a tailed beast sealed into him.

It broke your heart when Naruto would come home faking a smile. You noticed he had been secretly crying, his puffy red eyes giving away his secret, but you never commented on them, instead you made sure to remind him that there were more important metters than caring about what people had to say about it. It always brought a sincere smile on his beautiful features.

With time, his pranks and shenanigans never stopped, and so your profusely apologizes to the villagers, who only rolled their eyes to you and whispered under their breath what a terrible guardian you were to the kid. "If he doesn't know how to behave is because he is not getting a proper education" they always said and you had to control yourself and not yelling at them that you were doing your best as a young girl yourself. Sometimes Naruto would hear the adults making fun of you, and this was one of the reasons why he would be mean to them, throwing ramen leftovers on their face or sticking out his foot to make them trip.

"Naruto, what happened? Why would do that to them?" you would ask him once in confinement of your apartament, away from prying eyes and ears. He would only say that he felt like it, or that they had been making fun of him. He didn't want to make you doubt your skills as a parental figure, not when he too knew he wasn't an easy kid to take care of. You would scoff and tell him to got to his room and do some homeworks while you would make dinner.

With time, things started to get better. Naruto had came to you one day revealing that he was determined to befriend Sasuke Uchiha, at the mention of the clan that got massacred your mind went back to when you had met the boy's mother before the tragedies that took place at the village and you smiled at him. Assuring him that one day, the two of them would the best of friends, you didn't know that was taking them a long time to get there.

It was when Naruto failed the gennin exam that you felt like a failure, if he didn't came to you for help it had to be because you weren't doing a good job of reassuring the boy he could rely on you, but oh how wrong you were. Naruto loved you dearly, and was grateful to have you in his life so he couldn't let you down, he had to make you proud of him and he thought that coming to you for help was a sign of weakness for him and he didn't want to show you he was weak.

You cried, for the first time in front of him, that night after he had told you all of that. Hugging like your lives depended on that you assured him that it was okay to show weakness, for him he was just a kid. From that night he never kept sectres from you, well maybe just the fact that he knew that people still belittled you by doing a poor job raising him.

You never, in your life, were jealous of people but since Kakashi Hatake became the sensei assigned to Naruto's team you discovered a new emotion: jealousy.

You had heard about the shinobi in question, how could you not? He was famous because of his father and for his talents. While at the academy you never interacted much with him and he kept a distance from you too, the two of you had nothing in common but the fact that your adoptive father was his teacher, that was it. Nothing less, nothing more. One single person in common wasn't a reason strong enough to bring the two of you to talk to each other for more than five minutes. But now? How much you wished to be able to take off your ears, because honestly? You couldn't stand another day hearing about the man.

Naruto was smittered with him, sure Kakashi sometimes was harsh with him but he was a great teacher. He couldn't stop talking about him, not only that but the constant talk of the town on how lucky Naruto was to have such a mature and responsible teacher made all your hard work seem trivial. The villagers kept on belittling you by putting on a pedestal Kakashi Hatake, the gem of the Leaf Village.

It had been a week since Naruto left Konoha alongside Jiraya, a week without a single word from him informing you about his days with the legendary ninja and his training sessions, a week worrying about the boy. Was he eating enough? Was he resting enough? Is he spending his money wisely or is he spending it for useless things? You couldn't stop thinking about how he was doing away from you.

"Earth's calling Y/N." you heard the voice of Kakashi from the other side of the window of the shop. You rolled your eyes upon seeing him laying hands on the windowsill with his book on sight. You turn around, asking him what he needed in such a late hour at your store. "saw the light was on and decided to see if you needed anything"

"Nothing if it's coming from you." you simply said walking towards the register to collect your things before heading back home. You didn't hear him jump into the store, his movements always quiet as if he is always on a mission of some sorts, you didn't even hear him closing the window, only when you turned to leave the store you noticed what he has been doing. "you need anything?" you mocked him, your words harsh because why was he so suddenly paying you a visit after closing hour?

"I don't need anything. Again I saw the li-" you cut him off, taking out the keys you unlocked the door and invited him outside. He didn't say anything, just followed your silent instructions and waited next to you to lock the door again. "heading home?"

"What do you think?" his presence was annoying you, you didn't want to be seen with him walking around the village, who knew what terrible things people would say if they saw you with such loved shinobi like him. "Hatake you don't have to walk me home, I still remember how to protect myself" it was true, all those year of combat training were still present in your muscle memory so you could have managed just fine if something were to happen to you. He didn't care, keeping you company on your way home.

"I just want to catch up with an old friend, is that wrong?" you halted at his words? Friends? Since when did he consider you a friend? The last time you checked the two of you even spoke was during the attack of the Nine tailed fox on the village, and just because you had to inform him about a change in the original plans.

He noticed your absence a couple of seconds later, turning around he asked you what happened that got you to stop in your tracks.

"I'm sorry, since when are we friends?" Kakashi was about to answer but you didn't give him the chance to add anything. "Listen, just because you are Naruto's teacher does not mean you and me are friends. And before I say anything that I will regret later please go home. I don't need to be reminded that I am a pathetic excuse of a mother." you whispered the last part, you didn't need him to know how you felt.

Kakashi heard you, loud and clear. He knew you were critisized by the villagers. He came across a couple of people that would praise him by belittling you, the ninja had always took your side, defending you against the mean words spoke behind your back. He didn't fight you, he didn't comment on your sentence, he was sure whatever he said wasn't going to make you feel better.

That night you cried, alone in the apartament you shared with Naruto and that was going to feel cold until he was back from his training. You knew that those three years without him were going to be long.

The next morning you woke up tired, giving a quick look at the pillow you could tell you cried yourself to sleep. The sight in the bathroom's mirror could confirm your theory, not that it was that hard to come to the conclusion of that, after what happened last night it was either that or you had spilled some water on it. The latter being the last possible.

Once you were finally ready to go and open the doors of your shop, you were faced with a toad at your doorstep, you can tell is one of Jiraya's because the animal is too big to be a common one. Is only when you took a second look that you noticed it had an envelope between its hands, you asked permission to take it from the animal and when the envolope was in yours the toad disappeared. You smiled reading the name of Naruto on the paper. Today was going to be great.

Dear Y/N,

sorry if I haven't written to you sooner but this week my days were filled with learning new techniques with the Ero-sennin that I totally forgot to inform you about my days. You don't have to worry about me, the Toad Sage reminds me to not overwork myself. I am eating a lot of good and tasy food. My sleeping schedule is not the best but I always remember your words about how important a good sleep is to become stronger.

I miss you very much, take care of the shop and eat a lot of ramen for me too.

Love you, Naruto.

The letter finished with his signature thumb print and a smiley face next to it, you smiled thanking that he remembered you while away for training.

The door of the shop opened, and you looked up from the letter to invite in your first client of the day but upon seeing Kakashi you rolled your eyes annoyed by his presence already.

"I don't think rolling your eyes is a good way to make your costumers feel welcomed" he commented.

"Why are you here?" you asked walking in front of the your desk. "and don't you dare to say that you just want to have a talk with a friend because I'm pretty sure I made it clear yesterday that we aren't friends." your tone was calm but the point came across to the shinobi, you didn't want to have him around.

"I'm here in peace. I want to look for something to buy, that's all." he said, intertwining his hands behind the back of his head he started walking around the store.

"You do realize this is a store that has nothing for you, right?" your shop was filled with clothes and accessories for the female villagers, nothing that Kakashi could wear or use even if he wanted to. The sizes were too small for him and you could swear he is not the type to take a bag with him. You pictured him with a couple of hairpins but only in the secrecy of his apartament, never outside. You scoffed at the imagine of him securing his white hair with pretty pins.

"I never said it was for me. I said I'm looking for something to buy." he repeated, deciding to not ask you why were you scoffing so out of the blue. "Asuma wants to surprise Kurenai and I offered to help him find something that she might like" you were taken aback, you never imagined him to be someone that would offer his help to look for gifts. "oh by the way, do you know if Naruto is okay? That ungrateful kid didn't write me a letter yet." you totally missed the little smile that formed on his face, both because you were facing his back and because of the mask he never takes off his face.

"I, actually, got a letter from him this morning." you said happy that Naruto wrote to you first than Kakashi, even though he had wrote at the two of you simultaneously, but what you didn't know couldn't hurt you, right? and Kakashi kept that information for himself when he heard your teasing tone. He didn't want to ruin your day, not after what you had said yesterday.

"That kid, forgetting about his teacher like I mean nothing to him." he commented looking at some hair clips with a charm at the end, he took a couple of them and came to you asking for which one you prefered. You choose the wooden one with the red details reminding him that most of Kurenai's outfits involved the color red. He thanked you and paid for the object.

"You mean a lot to Naruto, more than I like to admit honestly." you told him before he could leave the store. "Thank you for everything you do and for taking care of him when I can't" you confessed. He only smiled at you, wishing you a good day and promising that he wasn't going to bother you for the rest of the day.

Months passed and once a week you would get a visit from one of Jiraya's toads delivering at your doorsteps a letter from Naruto informing you about his days with the Toads Sage and how much he is improving his ninja's skills and you, oh so wished to write to him how proud you were, but his safety came first and if you wrote to him the Akatsuki would probably find him, risking to get kidnapped. You just made a note to yourself to tell him that, the moment he was back to Konoha.

Naruto’s letters weren’t the only thing keeping you company and making you smile, Kakashi was another reason why your days weren’t too boring. He would come to your shop, pretending to look around and then waiting for you to close up so he could walk you home, asking about your day, asking what Naruto had told you in his letter that week, talking about his missions (if he was allowed) and about Guy. The stories about his friend were the one you anticipated the most if you had to be honest.

When he started to hang around more, you were annoyed at him, mostly because you knew people would talk behind your back, making comments questioning why Kakashi Hatake, one of the most renowned shinobi of the village was friend with someone like you. Someone that failed both as a shinobi and as a parental figure. Their words were just speculations, you knew that, everything was far away from the truth but they still hurt you.

"She was a great shinobi and gave up all of it just because of a kid." you heard someone commenting while walking past Ramen Ichiraku, his friend scoffed saying that if you gave up so easily to take care of Naruto it was because you weren't that good as a ninja to start with.

"She failed as a ninja and as a mother. If Naruto thinks he can do whatever he wants is all her fault." he added half drunk. You had to stop in your tracks, not because you wanted to know how the conversation would move on, you didn't care much, but you had to take a deep breath before breaking down in the middle of the street. The day didn’t start in the best way and it was going to end even worse if you were to show yourself weak in front of others.

"She was the only one that could keep up with me." you recognized the voice, how could you not? It was Kakashi. "and she could kick your asses if she only wanted." he stopped, you thought to eat some more portion of ramen or to drink some water. "She did her best considering her young age and the fact that everyone was against her. Leave her alone already, she went through so much and doesn't need such remarks from people that don't even know her." The other two ninjas didn’t talk back, and you headed back home assuming they dropped the conversation there. Nothing else to add after Kakashi called them out.

Walking down memory lane that night you rememberer how during your days at the academy you thought you didn’t like Kakashi, but with time you realized you hated him. Growing up you matured and came to the conclusion that hate was such a strong emotion to feel for someone that you had nothing to do with, it was jealousy, not hatred. It could never be hatred. Now, at the doorsteps of your thirties you had to admit you were envious of him.

You envied Kakashi because he was naturally talented; you envied him because every kid always talked about him; you envied him because he was liked by all the people of Konoha; you envied him because he was everything that you could have been if life didn’t throw you a tragedy after another. You went to sleep with Kakashi’s words still in your mind and with apologizing to Kakashi on your to-do list.

That morning was rather...calm, the sky being grey didn't allow the birds to fly away from their nests and you imagined today was going to be pretty slow since people didn't like to go out with such a weather.

Opening the door of your house you bumped into Kakashi, standing there with a Bangasa* umbrella in hand.

“What are you doing here?” You asked visibly, and rightly so, confused at his presence in front of your door.

“Walking you to work? I need to be gone for a mission after lunch so I thought that maybe I could spend some time with you before leaving. If you are fine with it, of course.” You were fine with the idea of him walking you to work but the fact that he was leaving for a mission wasn’t in your plans. You decided to wait when he was back to talk to him, you didn’t want to distract him while on a mission. “So…”

“Sorry. I’m… that’s okay and really, you don’t have to spend time with me.” You said locking your door.

“But I want to. And you know, we can’t tell if I’m coming back to Konoha in one piece.” He teased but you took it seriously, knowing that you had a conversation planned with him.

“You better come back in one piece I… I have something I would like to discuss with you.” Kakashi was curious and asking to explain further your words, you repeated that it had to wait when he was done with the mission. “I just don’t wanna distract you.”

“You would never distract me. Come on, tell me.” Giving in sounded so easy and it was. The apology rolling out your mouth in a second. “And it had to wait for the mission to be over because…” you didn’t know, it was stupid considering you just had to apologize to him. Maybe you thought he was going to add more than a simple ‘thank you’, what exactly were you expecting was a mystery to you too. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to tell me.” He added before you could express your reasoning, if there were any.

As he said he spent half the day at your shop, in the corner he made himself with time. He was quiet, reading his book and not exchanging words with the women that wanted to talk to him. They didn’t exist to him.

At lunch he stood up from his chair (yours but you never used it so he decided to claim it as his) and took out of the pocket of his vest a small white stone, you recognized it, it was an opal.

“I read it is good for protection. Never go out without it until I’m back.” You smiled at him and thanked him. “Or… don’t I don’t know. I was told… I thought you would like it.”

“I love it. Just, make sure to be back safe and sound. I don’t want to plan your funeral, I still don’t like you.” You joked. He smiled under the mask, his visible eye squinting a little bit.

“Don’t worry, Guy has everything planned for my funeral already.” He joked “see you when I’m back.” He added before leaving the shop. You watched him walk out when one of your costumers nudged at you.

“He is a good catch, confess already.” You blushed at her words and made sure she understood that you felt nothing more than admiration towards the ninja. “Whatever makes you sleep at night.” She said before paying for the necklace she had chosen.

The mission took longer than what you expected, and since your apologizes to Kakashi you bumped into his friends more than usual (Guy drunk told you he asked them to keep you company when possible) but you didn’t mind their presence. Since Naruto left you realized he was your only friend.

Kurenai was a sweet woman, always making sure you were doing fine and making sure if you had eaten enough for the day; Asuma was quiet, mostly sticking around Kurenai and promising you he would quit smoking (he never did); Guy was the funniest of the trio, telling you stories about when he and Kakashi were younger and even if you knew some of them already you let him talk.

Waking up, you looked at the calendar on your little desk, the day circled in orange was a reminder of the anniversary of the death of Minato and Kushina. It was the first time you went to their grave all by yourself and thinking about it you didn’t want to go anymore. Maybe staying all day home wasn’t a bad idea after all.

You wished Kakashi didn’t get his friends to be on your neck 24/7 because the second you laid down in bed you noticed the three ninjas outside your bedroom window.

“Why are you guys here?” You asked looking at them.

“Because we don’t want you to rot in your bed today.” Answered Guy “get off bed and get ready” he added.

“Ready for what?”

“We have a little surprise for you.” Asuma was the one answering your question. “Come on.” You sighed rolling your eyes before leaving the bed once again. “Good choice.”

Getting ready with your mind elsewhere wasn’t easy but you wouldn’t dare make the three ninjas outside your house tell you, once again, to move already.

Stepping out your apartment you wanted to go back in, whose idea was to blindfold you? And, most importantly, why would they blindfold you? Kurenai assured you it was her idea, you doubted that but there wasn’t time to fight if she was lying or not, and that you had to trust them.

Is not like you didn’t trust them but the fact that they just decided to take you out and blindfold you wasn’t helping at all. You decided to follow their instructions, without complaining.

The spot was a special one for you, not because it was anything secluded (if it was your friends couldn’t be able to find it) but because it was where Minato, Kushina and you liked to spend time together. It was your little piece of Heaven on Earth until…

“You didn’t had to” you told them, because they really didn’t had to prepare a picnic for you.

“We wanted to” replayed Kurenai “and besides what a best way to remember them than spending some time at their favorite secret place” she added up, smile on her face.

“If the dishes are not of your taste blame it on Kakashi, he suggested those” explained Guy

“Pretty sure he remembers his sensei’s favorite foods so I’m not even surprised.” You were, because those were mostly your favorite dishes (also some of Minato and Kushina’s).

The four of you started eating and in the mean time ended up talking about the Fourth Hogake and his wife, the three ninjas asking you about how the two deceased shinobi were in the privacy of their house and you laughed at the memories.

“Okay, okay let me just…” you cleared your throat and took a sip of sake before speaking again. “…I would tell you curious cats all about my lovely parents that died to save the village that hates me” everyone laughed at your tipsy words.

Standing up you try to stay as in equilibrium as possible before speaking again. And you started from the beginning, from when Kushina found you crying your eyes out over your parents’ dead bodies. She comforted you, telling you everything was going to be okay, and she took you with her, there is when you met Minato and Jiraya for the first time.

You told them how Minato was a lovely fiancée to Kushina and how he was always helping around the house without a sense of shame whatsoever, you admired him for that wishing for yourself a man that could help around the house without complaining that he shouldn’t do such things since ‘he is a man’

“That sounds like Kakashi if I have to be honest” cut you off Asuma and you laughed it off, maybe he was right but you and Kakashi? Engaged? No thank you. Talking about them some more you arrived at the day they sacrificed themselves and your happy smile dissolved from your features, leaving space to a more serious expression.

“No one knows, not even Kakashi I guess but I need to be honest about it. I hated them for quite a bit. They promised me to never leave me alone. That they would never do like my biological parents did and yet… but they didn’t leave me alone, no sir. They put the responsibility of raising a child on my shoulders and I was only 15 years old. I hated it, I couldn’t look at Naruto without thinking about them and for a couple of months I didn’t take care of him like I promised. Then one day I saw Kakashi…” another sip of sake “…and he looked like nothing was bothering him, he had moved on faster compared to me, he made it seems so easy and I hated him for that. I hated how fast he had moved on, I hated him so much that I felt like I had to prove a point. I still don’t know what the point was supposed to be, but I think it helped me come to my senses and do what I was supposed to do for the past three months.”

Asuma, Kurenai and Guy were left speechless at your words and you mentally thanked them for keeping their judgmental thoughts for themselves. Because if they spoke their minds you would have hated it.

You spent the whole day eating and training with the three shinobi and you are happy to be able to get back to the old days when you would train with them when you weren’t yet stripped of your position as a ninja of the Leaf Village.

You are a little rusty, I mean after 17 years of working in a jewelry shop everyone would be, but you managed to take down Guy and Asuma a couple of times. It was after the sun set that your friends decided it was time to go home and after your thank yous they left you alone with your thoughts.

You stayed some more, looking at the horizon with one thing in mind: Kakashi Hatake. You wished he was there with you, he was the only one, after you, to have spent the majority of his time alongside Minato. Rin was dead, to keep the village safe, Obito died to save Kakashi and he was away for a mission that would take his life away if he wasn’t careful enough.

Walking up the stairs you didn’t notice the “bread crumbs” left on the steps, only when you reached the top and see Kakashi in front of your door that you notice he is holding something in his hands.

You look back noticing the petals of Kushina’s favorite flower. Your eyes tear up at the memory and the fact that you didn’t allowed yourself to look at those flowers ever again.

“Surprise.” He said and when you turn around to face him his small smile disappeared and his expression turned worried. You don’t have the time to fall on your knees that he is holding your shaking body into his. Your cries filling the silent night. “Is okay, I’m here now.” And you keep crying holding into him for dear life.

It took you a couple of minutes to stop crying and even then you kept on sobbing every now and then. Kakashi took off his fingerless gloves and started wiping away the tears on your face.

“I miss them” you said hiccuping your words to him. He doesn’t say much, just that he understands the pain in your heart because he misses them too. “Please don’t you leave me too” his heart aches at your words and he keeps on drying up your face assuring you that he wasn’t going anywhere without you.

He helps you up and walks you to the door and you wished you were able to function but no. With shaky hands you dropped the keys on the floor but he is there, helping you in every way possible without judgement.

Entering he made you sit down at the dinner table and while you tried your best to recollect yourself he filled up a glass of water.

“Drink up everything you are drained” he commented and you listened to him (mostly because you were truly thirsty) and chunked the whole glass down. It was refreshing you though. “Sorry if I made you cry, it wasn’t my intention”

“It wasn’t your fault. I think it was the build up pain.” You didn’t mean to tell him about it but you did regardless. Telling him how you never properly mourned their death because first you hated them for leaving you and then you had a child to take care of and you couldn’t dwell in your pain.

“I hated Minato for a while too.” He confessed and you were speechless at the confession. You always thought he had moved on pretty fast after what he had been through, you imagined he was used to people leaving him behind. You were so wrong about all of it and you felt guilty you felt like crying again. But you didn’t, you couldn’t because Kakashi told you to get ready for bed. “If you need me here I can sleep over.”

You find yourself almost using the L word in that moment, if it was out of friendship love or romantic you didn’t know. You knew you were grateful for him in that moment. You tell him he could sleep in Naruto’s bed and he nods at your proposition. That night you had a good sleep, one you haven’t had in years and that you truly needed and you only had to thank Kakashi Hatake for that.

It was during dead time that you heard Konohamaru screaming from the top of his lungs that Naruto "big brother" was back from his three years training. You rushed outside, locking the shop as fast possible. Running behind the Third Hokage's grandchild on your way to see Naruto you almost bumped into Kakashi.

"where are you running to?" he asked, following behind you.

"Naruto is back" Konohamaru and you said in unison, Kakashi speeding up and catching up with the two of you. He wanted to meet his student because he too have been missing him lots during those three years.

Kakashi stayed behind, never passing by you. The shinobi wanted for you to be the first one to see Naruto, considering the relationship that binds the two of you and for the fact that the young ninja didn't write that week (Kakashi hopes that Naruto did it on purpose but he imagines the kid just genuinely forgot), and you did, between the three of you, you spot him first. He was talking with Sakura, the girl was mad at him for something you didn't even care to find out. It was when the kid you raised as your own spotted you that he ran to you. He hugged you, hands around your middle and lifted you making you squeal out of surprise.

"why didn't you wrote me you were coming at the village?" you said once he put you down. "I was going to think something had happen to you" he scratched the back of his head giving you a nervous smile. Before he could apologize properly Konohamaru was all over him asking him questions about the time he was away and reminding him about the promise the older ninja made before leaving (a stupid challenge about who performs better the Sexy Jutsu Naruto invented). You noticed Sakura rolling his eyes, Moegi doing the same.

You felt Kakashi lightly hugging you from the side, and you didn't mind the presence of the ninja, not when you apologized for your shitty behaviour. Since that day your relationship with Kakashi got better day after day to the point where you started having feelings for the man, romanic ones to be pricise.

"what is happening between the two of you?" he asked, looking confused to why you weren't at Kakashi's throat for being this close to your figure. "are you fucking my mom?" you were able to feel hear Kakashi stiffening at those words, who wouldn't when accused of such an intimate, and very personal, activity. "you know what? I don't actually want to know. Treat her right or I am coming for you, I know where you live" he threatened him and both you and Kakashi weren't able to say much back before he excused himself saying he had to report to Granda Tsunade frst thing first.

As you were left with Sakura, team Ebisu and Kakashi you cleared your throat ready to explain that the only thing that there was between Kakashi and you was pure frienship. Nothing more, nothing less.

"not to be that person..." started to speak Sakura "but I never, ever, saw Kakashi sensei interested in a woman like he is with you." she shrugged her shoulders when you gave her a death stare. "Just saying. By the way, gotta make sure Naruto doesn't get in trouble with the Hokage" you pinched the bridge of your nose, inhaling deep to keep calm. When you opened back your eyes you noticed the younger ninjas looking at you.

"You three better get to training before I rat you out to Ebisu Sensei" Konohamaru wasn't didn't care, you could tell, the smirk selling away his thoughts on the entire situation.

"Kids those days, always telling lies" you tried your best to light up the mood but Kakashi's espression told you you were failing. "you don't... you don't think so?"

"totally, yeah. Kids teasing their teacher like there is no tomorrow." he said, heading back to his apartment avoiding any type of contact with you. You follow behind him, your shop being in the same direction as his house.

"I'm sorry for Naruto. I will make sure he apologizes to you as soon as possible." he doesn't answer, keeping his pace slow so you were able to keep up with him. "I would suggest he pays for whatever you would like, you know, as a little revenge" he chuckled a little and you were happy that he finally was able to let Naruto's words bahind him.

Kakashi kept you company at the shop, helping some costumers that mostly wanted to engage in a conversation with him. Mostly to ask him if he was single and what type of girls he liked, he nervously laghed at them trying his best to change the topic.

Looking at the interaction you couldn't help but smile at it. The way he softly smiled at those ladies trying to set him up. The way he would try and subtly change the subject. The way he would walk them out with gentle hands.

He scoffed, walking to the cash register he takes his head between his hands complaining about the ladies of the village doing whatever they were trying to achieve.

"I mean, you are old and never been seen with a partner of any sorts. You spend all your time with your students or out for missions." you tell him, pushing his elbows away from the desk. "they like you and they want to see you settled down. That's it" Kakashi and you were discussing about the fact that he doesn’t want to settle down with the first woman people would set him up with, he wants to meet someone and grew with them, embrancing their qualities but also their flaws and he does tell you that. Soft boy, was your first thought at his words.

The bell at the top of the door rang and shifting your gaze to the entrance you saw Naruto with his signature smile on display.

"Ehy mom, I came to tell you that I need to go first thing in the morning for a mission."

"So soon? But you just..." looking how his joyful look turned into a more serious one you knew it was about Sasuke, it had to be about him. "I get it. Do you at least have the time to eat with me before you leave?" he nodded and you told him, and Kakashi to wait for you outside so you could finish cleaning before closing the shop.

Walking to Ichiraku Naruto revealed some new details that he couldn't share before about his days with the Ero-Sennin and you had a good laugh with him. Kakashi didn't intrude much, for what reason you couldn't tell, but it didn't care at the moment becuase you were back with your favourite boy.

Teuchi welcomed the three of you and so did his daughter, a little smirk forming on his face at the sight of Kakashi.

"Introducing the boyfriend to the family?" she said earning a little spank on her back from her father.

"He is not my boyfriend Ayame, how many times do I have to tell you?" you complied at her statement.

"But you wished he was?" said the younger ones, you turned to Naruto looking at him in confusion, what gave him such an idea? "I mean I come back and you haven't yelled at him once."

"This doesn't mean I want him to be my boyfriend but just that me and Kakashi talked out our.."

"yours" he interjected and you rolled your eyes at him.

"Yeah, my problems..." you said looking at Kakashi "...we became friends with time. Nothing wrong with it" you said and then asked Teuchi for three ramens.

While Teuchi and Anyame prepare your food Naruto was curios to know how it happened, he clearly remembered you saying that there was no way you would change your mind on Kakashi, and here you were, sharing some ramen with the person you were supposed to hate the most in this world.

You told him about how everything changed between his sensei and you when you apologize to him and that you find out a different side of him when he helped you during your breakdown. Since then you did everything together, let it be a little stroll around Konoha or having lunch during your breaks at the shop.

“With time I started liking him.” You said “oh thank you for the food.” You take a spoonful of it and complimented Teuchi. “You see, with time you can understand who truly cares for you.” That was a little jab at Naruto because you never liked Sakura for him. Sure they were good friends now, but the way she treated him at the beginning ot their training times? It wasn’t what you had expected from a team mate.

“Don’t get all philosophical on the kid already.” Commented Kakashi. You gave him a side eye. “Sorry but he just arrived after three years with Jiraya what do you think he will understand if you use big words to him?”

“I’m not stupid”

“He is not stupid” Kakashi turned around when he heard Teuchi and Ayame defending Naruto as well. “The kid just ignores some things.” Carried on the owner of the ramen shop. “I mean a LOT of things but is not his problem. He took after his mother.” You laughed, remembering Kushina being just like him when you first met her. She calmed down a little bit, still being her silly self, now that you were under her care.

Naruto finally dropped the previous conversation, more interested in knowing more about his mother now that the man mentioned her. Sure you had talked to him about his parents but you didn’t know much about them before you became part of their family so while he is intrigued about stories of his young parents from Teuchi you kept an eye on him, smiling at his shiny eyes at the stories he is told.

Once you were done eating Kakashi payed for the three of us and you thanked him for the gesture. Naruto complained, if he knew his sensei would have been the one paying he would have got a second portion to take home for you just to rise the bill a little bit and annoy his sensei.

“You want us to walk you at the gates?” You asked making sure you weren’t too much of a burden for him since he had to be at the gates before sun rise. He “uhmed” in response and you are quite happy that you can spend some more time with him.

“I wouldn’t be too mad at Kakashi if he tried something.” Naruto spoke when he was able to see the gates of Konoha. You and Kakashi stopped in your tracks both looking at him with wide eyes. “I want you to be happy and if he makes you happy I’m okay.” He kissed you goodbye before sprinting away where his friends and team mates for the Sasuke rescue team were waiting for him.

You were left alone with Kakashi next to you, with nothing to say due to Naruto’s confession. What were you supposed to say? What were you supposed to do? You wished Kurenai was there to give you some advice on it but she wasn’t. And even if she was she wouldn’t be much of help because she would be too occupied teasing you.

“So… do I make you happy? Because you sure make me happy.” Kakashi cut the silence and you wished he didn’t, not like that at least.

“You annoy me, that’s different.” You rolled your eyes at him and started walking towards your apartment. It took him some minutes to realize your words and when he does, he runs behind you catching up with you almost immediately him and his stupid long legs.

“Ehy, what do you mean I annoy you? You said you started to like me.”

“Again, it doesn’t mean you don’t annoy me sometimes.” You keep teasing him and he missed the way you smiled at him. And you miss the way he does the same.

It was in front of your porch that he cups your face and looked deep into your eyes before asking permission to kiss you and you gave him the green light to do so. The kiss is gentle, and short lived but you didn’t care. You invite him inside and this time you let him sleep in your bed.

[ruegarding]

for context, @rosabell14 is referring to tags on this post.

ok we're going off-road w this one

generally speaking, i like the concept of "some things aren't meant to be controlled," which annabeth says to percy after he controls the poison. this is said and then immediately forgotten abt, however, this could be another angle of change, a reoccurring theme in hoo, as well as a continued theme from pjo.

obviously, from pjo, the change is addressed w the myths, the theme of yielding, and w the conclusion of the story:

hoo continues this concept of change w the percy-jason switch, the greek-roman conflict, the idea of what an identity is and how to change it, etc. there's a lot of individual character work w this idea, but there's less of a mythological concept attached to it. gaea is a static and flatly written antagonist, octavian becomes incredibly flat as a character and his development into this sort of fanatical antagonist that is never explored, there's a lot of teeth-gritting abt how the gods are gods and they never change and everyone just has to accept it, the myths aren't challenged in the same way they were in pjo, etc. there's a few major exceptions, i'll get to that.

this is a glaring issue i have w hoo. it wouldn't be as bad as a standalone, but hoo makes the entirety of the previous series meaningless. in tlo, percy asks for kids to get claimed and be trained so when (or if) they have to go on dangerous quests/fight monsters/etc they're both older and more experienced. this is the conclusion to the war and how the status quo is changed (disability accommodations expanded to reach more ppl and work more effectively).

hoo, however, does not do this. camp jupiter infamously has a child army while the adults are retired, all of the new characters are younger than percy (who is still 16), and only two of them have spent a long period of time training, although hazel's isn't formal/in a camp (and piper doesn't even learn how to fight until book four ffs). this sort of immediately bastardizes pjo in a way that is never acknowledge by the series and makes it, and anything after it, a failure as a continuation of pjo.

and that's where this theme could've come in. when bob is remembering who he is, him and percy have this back-and-forth abt identity. percy relates to bob bc he, too, just had his memory erased and that vulnerability exploited (annabeth's perspective in this conversation is very different bc she doesn't have this same experience nor does she understand percy's feelings abt it. a good way to build tension using different povs, but, once again, doesn't get fully utilized). in the conclusion that conversation, there's an interesting moment:

this is that idea again, "some things aren't meant to be controlled," like fate, like identity. titans are meant to "be the same...forever." and here percy is, not only as the catalyst for change by throwing bob into the river lethe, but also by encouraging him to commit to this change once bob should know better. this was percy's role in the previous series, as well, where he constantly challenges the perspective of other characters to be more quote human unquote.

afterwards, annabeth has a similar moment w damasen:

i also think these are very funny to have side-by-side, just as character analysis, bc percy is very much both insecure and empathetic like u can choose ur future, it's up to u, etc, whereas annabeth is like i am right, listen to me.

anyway, both of these moments repeat the idea from pjo/tlo: immortals can't change. but they are changing. and they will change. the rules of the world are malleable (i also think hazel's monologue abt seeing the minotaur as a victim would be another aspect of this to explore). what abt traditions? what abt camp jupiter's child army? how should these change? going back to the og thought, tho, what shouldn't change? what are the "some things" that aren't meant to be controlled? how do you balance traditions and reform (great opportunity to use octavian btw!)? why can't a god be human, act human? why are the ancient rules important? that's an important discussion to have if we're growing this universe.

i don't particularly like that hoo immediately reverts back w the premise of the story, like i was talking abt earlier, nor do i think these characters were introduced or used well in canon, but using these characters, these moments, these conversations, rick could've salvaged this mess by embracing change isn't a static thing. he doesn't, tho, so it's all lost potential.

separately, something i've always liked abt the akhlys fight is that percy wins the literal, physical fight against her, but loses the metaphorical fight. he gets to walk away, but he walks away miserable. and this is bc the gods aren't ppl, they're physical representations of concepts. and percy has this thought abt tartarus and gaea while in tartarus, and i believe it's brought up in boo, but it's barely relevant. it's something i wish was explored more.

now onto specific characters. i talk abt my general idea here, ie this moment in tartarus is forcing percy and annabeth to confront their worst-case scenarios.

for annabeth, i've repeatedly gone on record to say i hate the way annabeth is written in hoo, here is an example, ie her fatal flaw does not come thru in her character (i also think she and percy switched characterizations from pjo to hoo, but...). separate issue is that annabeth's character revolves around percy a lot. so there are two issues i would focus on, largely bc she's not written well and doesn't have established unique conflicts. like,

this is a big revelation at the end of hoh, that she has to "step back" and she can't "protect everyone she love[s]." except it doesn't make any sense. tlo ended w annabeth telling percy to give luke her knife which luke uses to kill himself. not to mention, thalia's sacrifice on hbh. ALSO. percy accepting the prophecy and "taking the brunt of the danger"! and finally. annabeth has been at camp for 7-8 years. 1) she should have relationships w these ppl and 2) she should care that some of the ogs died in the previous war (which would also require rick to figure out who died lol). but the point is, this isn't a new conflict for annabeth!

the thought she had in moa abt having to accept she's not always the best person for the job:

this is not built up nor is it delivered on, but would be interesting, given that she demanded to be on the quest and if there was an actual power struggle instead of writing her as the de facto leader. this would be a better conflict than accepting that "she couldn't protect everyone she loved" when she has historically not been able to protect everyone she loved.

anyway, back on topic.

first, this moment exists to challenge her perception of percy, which is important to challenge bc she quite frankly has an unhealthy attachment to him. other ppl have said this better than i, so here's a post abt codependency and p*rcabeth and here's another one i rbed a while ago.

tldr; rick treats annabeth's abandonment issues/possessiveness/codependency as like. cute, peak romance. and he's been doing this since pjo, right, like annabeth's abandonment issues and possessiveness didn't matter when it was thalia joining the hunters,—bc there's no romance trope here w thalia—but gods forbid percy speak to rachel.

and this doesn't change in hoo. in fact, it's worse. like,

i'm going to [statement redacted] rick for this. what part of this is cute??? i'm killing it with fire.

so anyway, i want to treat annabeth's possessiveness/etc as an actual, consistent, character flaw, that she can grow out of, even. maybe even connect it to her hubris or her rsd. explore her feelings abt luke now that we have her pov to do it in. the fallout from this moment w akhlys is a great way to begin delving into that bc it's a shocking moment for her.

second, and going back to the theme of change, annabeth is different from percy in the sense that she has a different relationship to the gods than him (which i'm comparing bc i think rick (and fandom) has a hard time giving these two consistent and separate personalities/beliefs post pjo). the two times she has rebelled against the gods directly were bc of percy's influence (again, this is percy's role in pjo), 1) in the zoo truck, a scene that only takes place bc percy challenged her view of the poseidon-athena rivalry and their place in it, and 2) w hera where the first words out of annabeth's mouth are literally "percy is right."

i find this interesting especially bc her fatal flaw is hubris, which is common in mythology and frequently ends up fatal bc ppl challenge the gods. so, annabeth using the gods and these stories to keep her hubris in check makes complete sense.

and it seems like this is the same approach she's using w percy:

percy is directly challenging a god for power, and more than that, he's challenging a domain he's not supposed to have control of at all.

very interesting! does not get explored. such is common for hoo.

for percy, this scene is part of a long-running conversation of his powers (which is a huge part of his disability coding!!!!!). and it doesn't go anywhere.

percy has established anger issues and implied emotional dysregulation. this has been a thing since the beginning, literally chapter one of tlt! punishing percy for this when he's clearly not getting the support he needs is. a choice. also there's the issue that hoo kinda. erases this aspect of percy's character until the confrontation w akhlys, which is a separate but related issue.

there really should've been more buildup to this outburst (eg: in son percy punches a shelf in the library and immediately feels guilty bc he scares frank and hazel. percy is in an incredibly stressful situation; this should've happened more), but that would mean rick would treat it and the disability conversation seriously (which falls flat after son) and do less teeth-gritting abt the whole gods thing.

so, to go back on my "using the different povs to build tension was wildly underutilized" train, a featured part of almost everyone's pov is that percy is very kind, and gentle, and forgiving. i discuss a moment w frank being impressed w percy's selflessness here and he also says that he would follow percy anywhere, jason says percy is "a nice guy" after like 2 days, nico has his whole thing, hazel says "percy was a child of poseidon’s better nature," going on to describe him as gentle, etc.

and all of this praise goes nowhere and kinda just becomes percy is so awesome...and then turns into everything is percy's fault in boo...it's bad writing.

but it's an interesting opportunity to play w perspective. percy in pjo is dehumanized in that he is both villainized and idolized, and obviously hoo is continuing the trend w idolization. rick sets up a great plotline w this in moa:

and this doesn't go anywhere bc apparently percy's problem is that he needs to learn to step back. which. part of this is bc rick recycled plotlines from percy and gave them to other characters, which means that percy cannot be in character anymore without making themlook bad (the recycled plotlines i'm talking abt are the idolization, imposter syndrome, wanting to step back but constantly pushed into the spotlight, being seen as different/elevated status bc of ur parentage, struggling to connect to who your parent is, even the dehumanization as a weapon is straight out of percy's writing in pjo). this is a big problem w hoo in general ie characters becoming ooc by necessity (see: bad writing). the other part to blame is that rick is literally trying to redo tlo what w the whole "you are not the hero." it's all the same from pjo except written worse. it's a running theme of hoo (and a bonus). bad writing all the way down!

ANYWAY. so pjo ends w percy at an elevated status bc he 1) survived an unsurvivable prophecy, 2) was offered godhood, and 3) turned down godhood to improve the lives of the demigods while all the demigods watched. and he has the curse of achilles but. we all know how that went. the point is, all of this puts percy on a pedestal. i like to think it's the biggest reason hera kidnapped percy: if he said no, if he refused, she would've lost the support of almost all the demigods at chb (also the metaphor for the audience lol). i think making percy go on the quest, or at least to new rome, is the only good bit of world building rick did between books.

the problem is, rick is kinda all over the place w how percy is perceived and misses both the point of percy's character (callback to what i said abt his disability) and the world building of the previous series (what happened to power-scaling, narrative consequence, etc fr). that's what creates the flip-flopping "percy is perfect" and "everything is percy's fault," and neither are particularly good reads.

going back to annabeth, i don't think she's an exception in idolizing percy. she has no reason to see percy's vindictive side bc he works hard to hide it. even w crusty, annabeth is preoccupied. annabeth is smart, she's not omniscient. instead, there's the famous "percy is too nice" from som. i also like to think this is why she keeps trying to talk to percy abt luke as if luke is a good person who didn't try to kill percy. she doesn't understand that percy would hate luke for betraying him bc why would he? percy is a good person.

(for the record, i think the exceptions are: 1) grover, who chooses not to bring it up w the exception of his nemesis comment in tlt, 2) rachel, who made a painting where percy's "expression in the picture was fierce—disturbing, even—so it was hard to tell if I was the good guy or the bad guy" and simply said that's how he looked, and 3) arguably nico—considering percy has attacked him before—but i do think "very [dangerous]. to his enemies." does a good job of capturing that, it just doesn't go anywhere).

so, to condense all of this, ppl are idolizing percy in terms of both strength and morals and percy feels stifled by this knowing that he is not as strong or good as ppl think (and also by the fault that he was demonized prior and has corresponding low self-esteem bc of that lol). keep this in mind, i'm changing the topic.

in botl, percy's torture scene is used primarily to set up how powerful he is. he can cause an eruption that necessitates the evacuation of thousands of ppl and wake the biggest threat in greek mythos, but he would never know that if he wasn't back into a corner. bc that's not who he is. he shies away from power and titles. he wins his fights w strategy and very rarely relies on his powers to overpower his opponents.

just to clarify, i categorize percy's powers in two sorts of ways: involuntary and voluntary. involuntary is like speaking to sea creatures, healing in water, things that don't require a lot of energy/effort/focus. he's not scared of this. he's wary of the voluntary, powerful explosions, the things that set him apart from his peers. that's what i'm referring to in this section.

so, percy has to come to terms w the fact that he 1) blew up a mountain, 2) survived blowing up a mountain, and 3) woke typhon. and what does he say immediately after that?

he immediately deflects! he wasn't in control, it wasn't him that's powerful, it was an accident, and besides, he can't do it again bc he almost died. and what's even more interesting is the only time he uses his powers after this (in botl) is when grover asks him to stop the fire in the woods.

so, what lesson did percy actually take from mt saint helens? that he's dangerous. very interesting to use this teaching moment and have the protagonist come to the quote wrong unquote conclusion.

in hoh, we don't have a purpose for the torture scene. there's no significance to confronting how powerful percy is. percy is not addressing his self-sacrificing tendencies nor his propensity for bottling his emotions up. there's no questioning of p*rcabeth's relationship. there's no questioning of the gods. it's a cool scene w no narrative purpose.

so, take two. what is percy supposed to be learning from akhlys? how do we relate this to percy taking the wrong lesson from mt st helens?

at the end of botl, nico comes up w the river styx plan and percy takes almost a full year to agree to it. how much further ahead in the war would they have been if percy had accepted the curse sooner? how many fights could percy have won faster if he used his powers? if he trained his powers? if he trusted his powers?

there's a really interesting comparison w phorcys and akhyls where percy doesn't attempt to fight phorcys bc he assumes he won't be able to overpower him,

but w akhyls he tries anyway,

bc he's backed against a corner. and he succeeds.

percy is a character who very much embodies duality. i've talked abt this before wrt his loyalty being both his greatest strength and greatest weakness and how it clashes w his desire for freedom, but it's true for almost every trait. he's honest and manipulative. he's ruthless and merciful. he's kind and violent. he's looked up to and looked down upon. he's the saint and the scapegoat. etc etc. and percy responds to this by frequently trying to deny his quote worse unquote traits until they eventually bubble up and explode out of him. this is part of why juno calls him a loose-canon (which btw, i love. everyone has been treating him as a loose canon and no one on this side has the balls to say it until then, seven books in).

all this to say, *ethan voice* it's abt balance! this moment should've been abt percy confronting his unfair treatment! the idolization from his peers! the demonization of his flaws/disability!

thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[m00nchildwrites]

Random headcanons I have of the LADS guys:

I hope you guys enjoy this little head cannon post that I have about the guys. I'm going to put it under a read more just because it's quite long. It is no triggering content or adult content. All fluff all feels.

Enjoy.

Sylus:

Keeps journals. He has bookcases upon bookcases, filled with journals. All of them are leatherbound, but none of them match. Varying sizes and thicknesses various dark colors from maroon to dark green to black to golden and everything in between. All handwritten, all cursive with expensive ink dipped pens.

He also writes poetry that tends to be more prosy. Each of the poems are about you in some way, whether it's a memory or something about you that he misses or fears about the memories of you fading.

When he meets you again, the poems become hopeful and longing and eventually evolve back into love poems

Kioso tens to write song lyrics and unfortunately has performed one or two for you.

Yes, it's the thought that counts, but the poor man can't carry a tune. Still, the words are so sweet that you end up tearing up anyways.

And no matter how poorly he sings, you will never turn down him reading one of his poems to you or yes, even singing one of the songs that he wrote.

Zayne:

I see Zayne also as someone who keeps journals. Although his are different than Sylas'.

All of Zane's journals are on a singular, large, wall-to-wall bookshelf in his Home Office. All are perfectly identical. Each is sleek, a leatherbound, and either black or dark gray. Think like a moleskin journal, and if you weren't him, you wouldn't know which one is which, but he knows exactly which one is which, for he keeps them in chronological order.

Each of the pages is handwritten by pen in his slightly slanted, messy but legible doctor's handwriting.

Each starting from the first one on the top shelf details, everything that he can remember about 1 of yours and his pass lives together.

And rather, morbidly an excruciating detail heed. He writes out exactly how you died in the events leading up to and afterwards.

You might wonder why in the world does he do this? It's because he is studying every instance that went wrong and trying to find a loophole in a way out of the the curse that Astra has places upon you both.

In these journals, your name is never mentioned, and they are written out like case notes from his patients. So whenever you do stumble upon them, write them off. As simply him keeping detailed case notes of patient's life and death, since all of the deaths have to do with something with the heart or heart trauma, our heart disease or our heart failure of some kind.

It is not until either you regain your memories or zayn. Finally tells you about your past lives and his that you also learn the true story about the journals. Until then, they are simply a collection of case studies in his home office.

Rafayel:

Rafael has no need for journals because his memories he brings to life through his paintings.

Let's be honest.He also doesn't have the patience to sit down and fill up a bunch of journals. Not because his hyperactive persona is true, but because if he allows himself to sit still long. Enough with his thoughts, he gets real dark, real quick. This man wears a mask for the world, but also for himself.

That said he does sing.

Shocker, right? He's a mermaid or a siren or both. However, I have the head cannon that he can switch the siren thing on and off. And so is fully capable of simply singing, however, for him, because he is Lemurian, his "simple singing" is etherealy gorgeous.

Because of this, he only does it in the privacy of his own home when no one is around, except for that short little stint, that he had as an opera singer. But of course, that was for darker purposes and not for enjoyment.

He sings songs that he has written about you. All of them are in ancient tongues, long since passed and faded away to time. And all of them from the different lifetimes that he met you in.

Some songs he sings when he's feeling especially heartbroken and caught up in memories of the past, or overwhelmed with his feelings for you, and those songs are sung in his native tongue- Lemurian.

At first, whenever he is painting or in the zone, doing something and drifting off into a daydream, he hums around you.

Eventually, however, as he allows himself to trust that you're not going anywhere this time and uh relaxes his guard. Enough to allow himself to fall for you again and let you in. Eventually, one night when it's just the 2 of you and the windows are open and the ocean breeze is billowing the sheer, white curtains of his livingroom, the tune He's humming to you, as you lean back against his chest slowly begins to have words.

You don't know the words that he sang, they feel ancient.

But you feel the emotion in the words and by the end of it, you have tears running down your face and the overwhelming urge to hold him tightly and never let him go

The second time he sings for you is less heartbreaking and more warmth and an overwhelming feeling of love.

On days when it's just the two of you, he will sing just for you.

Xavier:

Xavier does not keep journals. However, he did enjoy his captain logs on his ship. And so that is a habit that he has kept with him.

Every once in a while, he will go back to a ship and and enter a new captain's log. All of it has to do with information about you and him trying to find a way to save you from the eventual Fate that awaits in the future on planet Philos.

Periodically a poem will also make an appearance one that he read in a book that stood out to him and reminded him of you.

Sometimes, before you two get close, he'd go to the ship and listen to his pass logs. And remember the you he left behind on that dying planet.

Xavier also sings, and he actually sings quite well for a human. So well, in fact, that one time karaoke with the hunters association, an agency attempted to scout him. (I picture his voice like Keshi- soft spot. If you haven't heard it, listen to it.)

This hidden talent comes as surprise to you. The first time that you hear him, add that karaoke event.

Of course. You knew that he enjoyed music because you often caught him humming when he was doing things around the house or helping you chop vegetables whenever y'all cook together. There was also his record collection that was a dead giveaway. As well.

He doesn't write songs for you, but he will sing songs to you. That make him think of you at first, it's subtle and without him really letting you know, but that's what he's doing. Perhaps you think the 2 of you are just playing around and both of you are singing songs that come on the radio. But eventually, as you get closer, it becomes clear, but it's not by chance- the songs that he picks to sing.

Your favorite is when he sings to you softly. As you rock back-and-forth, slow dancing in your apartment or his or on the balcony, the location doesn't matter.

Somehow, some way swaying softly to the sound of his voice feels like coming home after a long, long journey.

He does also occasionally read to you a poem.

And sometimes you find out the poem, he said aloud to you was actually written by him, and eventually you learn that they were all about you.

[thyfleshc0nsumed]

I agree with you about your stances on punishment, and I think it's so important to see that perspective instead of the more common one. I do not want to live in a world with the death penalty or prison.

But I'm very curious how you got to the point where you want your abuser to be happy. Capital H happy. I've never seen that before. I think it's great, and it must've taken a lot of time, and if it's not too personal, I'd like to hear about the process. If not to help myself, to help someone else. I'm personally very very jaded to the whole "forgiveness" mentality (it seems very catholic to me somehow? I forgive you so I'm better than you?) But the way you put it feels different somehow. Sorry for picking your brain, and if it's too personal I totally get it. Thanks for your time.

Thank you for this question.

Hm, it's a tough one. It may be informed by my lack of any singular capital-A Abuser. Certainly, I have had people who were abusive to me longer term (my mother especially), but for the most part it was many dozens of adults in single instances or shorter term situations during my childhood and teenage years that raped or otherwise harmed me. That lack of any singular individual to act as a locus for all the damage may have made it easier for me to come to a point where I wish them well.

I remember being 19, face in my toilet bowl, puking my guts up after downing a fifth of rum in an hour or two. I think it was a Thursday. I understood my mother for the first time. I wanted to stop drinking, and I didn't know why I couldn't.

My roommate at the time slept on a mattress on the floor in the living room. He left his family the day he turned 18 and took the Greyhound across the country to crash with me. We were good friends when he got here, but my negligence and failure to control my drug use ruined that relationship within a few months. He stayed with me for two years. He didn't have other options.

I don't remember those years well at all. Besides various temp jobs, all I did was drink, get fucked up, and make messes I never cleaned up. It was a one bedroom apartment and I had the bedroom, he couldn't really go anywhere. He didn't really know anyone. I was a fucking terror to live with, and a terror he couldn't even really get away from.

And I didn't mean to be that way. I didn't mean to hurt him with my dereliction. But it doesn't matter, y'know, impact is more important than intent. I fucked up bad.

Eventually he left. I was and still am filled with remorse for putting him through what I did. Maybe this perspective is the christian upbringing, maybe it's twelve step bullshit, but often I see my feelings as very self serving. I can justify just about anything, as long as I use enough self pity. But this feeling was different. It was just... remorse, pure and unfiltered. No rationalizations as to how it wasn't really my fault, no equivocations, no blaming outside factors, just acknowledgement that I fucked up and I hurt someone I loved. I was sorry that I had done that.

Humility does not come naturally to me. This was a humbling experience.

I--and everyone I've ever met, everyone who ever harmed me--am a human being. No more, no less. In each of us is potential both to love deeply and to do great harm to others. No one is without both these potentials.

It comes down to this: what I wish for myself, I must wish for all.

Do not mistake me here--this does not neatly translate into a pragmatic political position. For me, this is simply some sort of spirituality, that is to say, how I strive to navigate my life, day at a time, in the world as I find it. This is as small scale as it can get.

I understand that feeling about forgiveness you mention. What I have to say about it probably won't help the christian connotation; I am an atheist and a subjectivist, though obviously culturally evangelical. Maybe it is that last part that influences this next, but I don't feel I have the authority to forgive anyone. Or, in another word, 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone.'

Now, of course, I believe in neither god nor sin, but I do believe in harm. 'Let he who is not capable of such harm cast the first stone,' perhaps. Not all harm is equivalent, certainly, but no one is innately capable or incapable of greater harm than others. The ability to actually do harm is relative to relations to power, no doubt, but a given power relation is not innate.

So yeah I end up back at 'i have no moral high ground over or under anyone else, the forgiveness is neither mine to give nor withhold,' which frankly is a rather christian viewpoint.

There's this idea in Judaism that has stuck with me for the last few years: tikkun olam. To repair the world. What must I do to ensure my part in that repair happens?

There is so little I have control of. The only thing I can change is what I do. If the world around me is hardened and cruel, why must I adopt that cruelty into myself? Will it get me better outcomes in life? Perhaps, perhaps not. I have found it hasn't, but others may find it has. But that's talking about results. And I don't have power over results.

I cannot change the world, cannot repair it alone. But I think I can work to repair myself, and in the process, the smallest portion of the world may be repaired alongside me. Maybe, maybe not. It becomes a matter of faith. Or to put it in a therapeutic framing, it's an 'even if.'

I'll end with this, an old twelve step saying: "resentments are like drinking a bottle of poison and expecting the other person to die."

What is a resentment? Re- as in once more. -sent, as in sentiment. Feeling something once more. It is the reanimated corpse of a feeling, not the feeling itself. It looks like the feeling you know, maybe walks and talks like it too. But it's rotting away. It died long ago. So why should you pretend the corpse is alive? It moves, it rasps, but it's something else now; it only shares a body with the original, nothing else. So maybe it's time to let go, and begin to move forward.

[dumbkiri]

A FEAST FOR BIRDS 2

𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐝 𝐱 𝐅! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

HIGHLY REQUESTED

Y'all I know this was a blog for the Batfamily, but DAMN! Was not expecting so much enthusiasm for a second part. Thank you and I hope this one is worth the wait.

This came out rushed too. Will rewrite this part lowkey bc it doesn't satisfy me just yet.

10 pages, 3.6k words

JASON’S POV

This felt surreal. 

With the dark-tinted glasses dulling the colors around me, it showed me how much my world has been dark for so long. It showed me that I couldn’t dare to see the world in color ever again. My life’s goal, up to this point, was to get revenge on the Joker, to get revenge on my family for replacing me. 

All my anger and all my pain, I took it out on them. I couldn't forgive Bruce for sparing Joker’s life when that psychotic ass never bothered to spare me. Beaten and bruised, all I dreamed about was that crowbar hitting me over and over. 

And my last words to her; to [Name]. I wonder if she remembered our last conversation. Because in the moment of taking my last breath, I did. I remember telling her that I wouldn’t be mad at her, for whatever she needed to tell me. 

I did my best to reassure her that everything would be okay. I remember her shaky breaths and the resigned reply she gave to me over the phone. 

I guess I should have stayed to listen to her because if I did, I would have lived. Lived to raise Jay with her. 

When  [Name] walked in with heavy shoulders and a tired smile, I saw my life flash before my eyes. Never did I see those memories when Joker slammed that crowbar against my ribcage. Her [e.color] eyes are dull like my own and her happiness is clouded by her own problems. It was obvious to me, obvious to my family that she was running away. 

Then she showed off the greatest joy in her life, that shine coming back in her eyes. Who would have guessed the little boy she carried in her arms with so much love was a product of our love. A teenage love that couldn’t grow into an adult one. A love that ended with my last breath. A love that created a being for her to cherish in my memory. 

I didn’t want the dinner to end because watching them, my little family, laugh and enjoy their company filled an empty hole in my heart. Their interactions with each other overwhelmed my broken heart and I felt an emotion I haven’t truly felt in awhile; genuine joy.

I want them to stay. I want this moment to go on forever. 

“So I was hoping to do something I haven’t done in a long time.” 

[Name] spoke up after setting her fork down by her plate. She looked at Bruce specifically and asked, “Do you still host the Dance of Snow event?” 

Memories plagued my mind of her ice skating on the rink Bruce provided in his backyard. Every year in the beginning of December, Bruce would host an event for the wealthy. There was the ball aspect of it then the performance [Name] did for charity. The Dance of Snow was how I met her and how we began to fall for one another. 

Her gliding on the ice so effortlessly took my breath away. I couldn’t understand how she moved like that with grace while I fell on my ass every time I let go of the wall. We would laugh about my failures together and fuck it, I will admit I did exaggerate just to hear her laugh again. 

“Ever since the star of the show left,” Dick teased with a shrug of his shoulders, “Bruce only hosted the Winter Ball for the guests. I swear every time they would ask about you, but he would shoot them down with politeness as always.” 

“Perhaps I can surprise them then?” [Name] asked shyly then proceeded to say, “I recently started teaching Jay how to ice skate and I guess my passion for it is coming back to me. I also want Jay to see what I can do in a live performance and show how beautiful this event is.” 

Bruce agreed with ease, no need to convince him when everyone knows how much he admired her show of grace. I mean everyone did and she was the reason why the charity event succeeded so much in the first place. 

“Of course, I’m sure everyone will be happy to see you back. I can get the skating rink set up for your practice in the backyard. Would you like me to call Anthony, you two can do your famous performance as the first show.” 

[Name]’s excitement flourished at the mention of her old ice skating partner while jealousy painted itself over my body. I didn’t notice I let out an audible groan of annoyance at the mention of Anthony until everyone focused on me. 

Oh shit. 

“Lazlo and Anthony don’t get along,” Dick jumped at the first thing to say. His excuse is just as lame as the stupid fake name he gave me. 

But [Name] paid no attention to my disgruntled attitude, instead she giggled and said, “Yes, well Anthony is difficult at times. He wouldn’t be the first person to make friends with anybody. I’m surprised he actually got married! To think that my best friend, who promised he would never get married, actually put a ring on someone. I can hear Jason giving him a bunch of crap for it.” 

Dick and Bruce chuckled at her joke knowing well that I would. 

Because hell yeah I would. Anthony never believed that [Name] and I would last because he described her as gentle while I always showed up with random bruises and cuts. Little did they know, I spent my nights fighting crooks and villains. Then he went on to brag about never being in a relationship because it caused too much drama. 

Anthony turned out to be right anyways since I died. We didn’t last three years or more. I wonder if that self-centered asshole took care of her. I subconsciously clench my hands into fists thinking about another man with my family. 

“I’ll make sure to give him a call then,” Bruce smiled then dinner went by in a blur for me. Like I said, everything felt surreal. I couldn’t help, but think this was all a dream. The intrusive thoughts of revealing myself to [Name] would make everything set in for me. Her reaction, her words to me. 

Say that you missed me, to me. Not to Lazlo. 

Say that you love me, to me. Not to Lazlo. 

Know that it’s me under this disguise, not Lazlo. 

Please [Name] recognize that it’s me, so that I wouldn’t have to do it. Don’t make me take this mask off and show you that I’ve been alive all along, suffering in this dark and gloomy reality. I need you to figure it out all by yourself. 

“Jason.” 

I looked up from my untouched plate full of food and watched Bruce give me a pained look, “How are you holding up?” 

I took notice that everyone disappeared from the table, it was just Bruce and I sitting. When did everyone leave and where to? Wait, I didn’t get to say goodbye to Jay or [Name]. I was too absorbed in all the scenarios that played in my head. 

“Don’t worry they’re still around. JJ is racing Dick out in the backyard and [Name] is writing a letter,” Bruce explained and his eyes never left my own. I knew he was trying to figure out what I was feeling. I knew I had mental breakdowns here and there, this was the time for me to have one actually. 

“I felt better,” I replied honestly, “did you…did you take care of them as best as you could?” Bruce was a questionable parental figure, but he couldn’t have let [Name] walk away like that. She must have told Bruce about her pregnancy and he would have supported her. 

Please tell me you did, old man.

“As much as she allowed me to, yes. [Name] did fairly well in raising Jay and it was only very recent when she cut off ties with us. Now she’s back and we need to know what happened to her.”

“She mentioned an arranged marriage with some business partner, know anything about that?” 

Bruce shook his head dejectedly, “No, but I do know her mother has been trying to find a suitor for [Name] for years. It’s all some of the older women gossip in Gotham about. Some have tried to offer their own son’s hand to her. But [Name] is stubborn to a fault. She has told me many times that you still hold her heart.” 

Bruce gently smiled at this revelation like it was going to ease my worries and insecurities away. But it didn’t. 

“Why?” I asked selfishly, “Why hasn’t she forgotten about me? You all did. Replaced me without a single care in the world. Dumped the memory of me like I never mattered in the first place. So excuse me if I question the integrity of her…fuck, this isn’t…stop giving me that look.” 

I faltered at the sad look on Bruce’s face. My harsh words disappeared like a drop of blood in water. 

“She loves you, Jason. Five years have passed and all she can think about is you. All she does is remember you. She remembers the [color] flowers you would throw at her feet when she finished a performance. She would talk about the books you’d gushed about. There’s also a show she recently started watching that she thinks you’d like. It’s just what [Name] does in order to keep you alive. She does it on her own, but there’s Jay to remind her too when she hits her lowest.” 

I shook my head and fought back, “It’s impossible. I-I didn’t even remember her when I came back. All I remember was the pain and the revenge I wanted to take. Now…now she’s here with him? That boy is supposed to be mine? I can’t believe that, that’s not what I expected when I told you I would come back to this family on my own terms.”

“The Lazarus Pit has effects, you don’t need to feel ashamed for not remembering her. I don’t blame you for only thinking about revenge. What you went through-”

I stood up from the table, my food cold and unappealing in this heated moment, “He’s so small and she’s- Damn it, she’s still the girl I fell in love with all those years ago. I cannot afford to be distracted, not when my team and I are close to taking down Black Mask. I cannot go back to being the guy she loved. I’m no longer him.” 

“Well it’s a good thing you’re dead then,” A voice so irritating spoke up, it sent me scowling at him behind my glasses and mask. 

Damian plopped a plate of cookies on the table and took his seat. He looked at me with boredom in his bright green eyes and asked, “What?”

“You need to watch your words, Damian,” Bruce shook his head in disappointment at his youngest son. 

“You heard him as well as I did,” Damian picked up a cookie and broke it in half, “He’s no longer the guy [Name] loved. He’s Red Hood now, a vigilante fighting villains. He can’t be a father or a lover. So it’s a good thing Jason Todd is dead because he’s not him.”

Before I could respond, [Name] spoke up as she walked into the dining room. 

“Alright, I put my little gremlin to sleep and I feel sleep catching up to me.” She stretched her body and let out a small yawn. Her exhaustion looked to be catching up to her after days of traveling. 

Bruce stood up and told her, “You can stay the night if you’d like. There are plenty of rooms to sleep in and I’m sure Alfred would love to prepare a room for you.” 

[Name] waved Bruce off with a smile, “Thank you, but I need to get to work on the house. I promised Jay I would renovate as quickly as I can so he can come home. Not that he doesn’t like to spend time with his family.” 

She shot quickly hoping she didn’t offend Bruce or Damian. The demon spawn went back to eating his cookies while Bruce said, “Don’t worry, we know Jay loves spending time with us. Do you need help with anything? I can arrange some help. I’m sure Dick wouldn’t mind helping you out either.” 

“I got this handled, Bruce,” [Name] walked over to Bruce and she passed me like ships in the night. Her perfume wafted my way and lingered in my space, slowly seeping through the face mask. She started wearing perfume more mature like instead of the usual peachy flower scent. 

I turned around and saw her embrace Bruce with a small ‘thank you’ and the old man hugged her tightly. I knew Bruce towered over the average woman, but she really was small in his arms. Like a father holding his daughter. 

Then she walked over to Damian snacking on the cookies. She pinched his cheek and pulled it roughly, ‘Don’t teach Jay such obscene words next time, Dami’. Damian choked on his cookie for a bit before he rolled his eyes muttering a wack apology. I’m so gonna kick his ass when she leaves. 

[Name] embraced Damian in a hug and the boy begrudgingly accepted it. Then his green eyes landed on me, watching them carefully. The brat stuck his tongue out at me, hugging [Name] back while I subtly gave him the finger. I hate that kid. 

“Lazlo, it’s time to go,” Dick walked in the dining room with his jacket on and a dark blue scarf around his neck. Right, we had patrol for this night. “[Name], make sure to lock your doors and check every window. There have been reports of burglary in this area.”

“I may be fragile looking on ice, but I can defend myself pretty well, on land” [Name] happily smiled at Dick, fake throwing a punch on Damian’s shoulder. “Anyways, I really gotta go before I pass out behind the wheel. I love you all  and I’ll see you guys tomorrow. It was nice meeting you, Lazlo! I hope to see you some other time!” 

She looked at me with a pretty smile and soft giggle, fishing her car keys out of her pocket. I waved back at her silently and watched her leave the house with Alfred accompanying her. When I heard the front door shut, I looked at my brothers and my old man saying, “This shit sucks.” 

……

Jay woke up to the sound of shuffling in the room next to him. It sounded like someone was busy searching for something. Looking at his clock on his nightstand, Jay was not happy to be woken up at 3 am. Then fear seeped into his body. 

His grandma always told him that ghouls and monsters come out at 3 am looking for souls to take. Maybe this monster was looking for his soul! Jay scrambled off his bed and quietly ran over to his toy crate. He opened it slowly and saw his plastic red bat ready to be used. 

Jay would have to beat up this monster if he wants to keep his soul!

The little boy then walked over to his open bedroom door, thanking his mom silently for leaving his night light on in the hallway. It helped him to see that the monster was in his dad’s old room. Sneaking down the carpet hallway with his bat raised high, Jay urged his heart to calm down. He was afraid that the monster would be able to hear it beat so loudly. 

Taking a deep breath in, the little boy forced himself to peek inside the room. There was only one light on in his dad’s room and it was the lamp on his desk. Then he spotted the monster at that desk reading letters. Jay recognized those letters that were written by his mom. 

Hey! Those were letters for his dad! Not this monster!

Jay’s eyebrows furrowed in anger and the little boy sneaked into the room ready to whack the monster back to where it came from. But when he lifted his bat high in the air, he heard the monster sniffle…like it was crying. 

Confusion clouded Jay’s motive to beat up the monster and his eyes glanced at the mirror showing off the monster’s face. The monster looked like it was human and it had a large scar going from his cheekbone to his jaw. 

When the monster wiped his eyes, they opened up to reveal familiar blue eyes. Jay faltered as he knew what they reminded him of. He looked over at a picture frame with his mom and dad as teenagers holding each other after she won a championship at her skating tournament. 

The bat fell from his tiny grasp and the sound startled the monster…no, man. Jay watched the man stand up and whip around with tears falling down his face. 

Black hair and blue eyes. He looked older, but this was for sure his dad. No doubt. 

“Daddy?” Jay asked, his own tears blurring his vision. Next thing the kid knew was that he moved on autopilot. He jumped at the man and wrapped his arms around his dad’s legs clutching onto them tightly. He started bawling his eyes out as this was his dream. To get to meet his dad. 

…

“Jason, did you find the let-” Dick walked into Jason’s old room and stopped short. His eyes landed on Jason looking at him with wide, teary eyes. But that’s not what took the cake for him. 

It was the little boy holding onto Jason’s leg and crying into the dirty jeans. Dick wanted to let Jay down easy, by making something up like this had been a dream. But the glare Jason sent him from across the room stilled the older Wayne ward. Despite Jason’s red eyes from crying, Dick understood the threat in his deadly glare. 

Shut your damn mouth, Dickwad.

Quietly, Jason set the letter down with a picture of Jay as a newborn down on the desk. He wiped his eyes then pulled his leg away from Jay by crouching down in front of the crying boy. He didn’t know what to say, but the words slipped from his mouth so easily, 

“Hey, kid, you’re getting boogers all over my clothes.” 

Jason chuckled and watched Jay wipe his nose with the sleeve of his pajama shirt. A little giggle came from the boy and he gave Jason a timid ‘sorry’. They stared at one another with smiles on their faces, enjoying each other’s presence. 

“You have your mother’s smile, you know that?” 

The fake stars on Jason’s ceiling twinkled in the slight darkness of the room, not as bright as the kid’s smile that reminded him so much of [Name]. Her words written in the letter came back to him as he gathered the courage to hug Jay as himself, not as Lazlo. 

Jay melted in his dad’s hug and he wrapped his arms around his neck, saying, “It’s nice to meet you too, daddy.”

…

Dear Jason, 

Today I have had the pleasure of welcoming our bundle of joy into the world. His name is Jay [L.Name] and he is super adorable. He came out with a tuft of black hair, similar to yours. He came pretty fast and easy for it being my first every birth. Probably my last too. 

Anyways, Bruce and Dick have been such a great help. They helped a lot along with my father and they cannot wait to meet Jay. Actually, the picture is of Dick holding Jay and oh boy! I didn’t think holding Jay would make him cry like it did me. 

Do you think Bruce would cry too? I guess we’ll have to see and of course, I will give you the details :)

I’m not going to lie to you, this is my fifth time trying to write this letter to you. I guess knowing that you’ll never get to meet Jay brings sadness to me. I didn’t get the chance to tell you either and I know you said you wouldn’t be mad at me when I told you. 

But something tells me that you would have been better off knowing about him before you died. So as an apology, I named our boy after you and I’m sure the nickname JJ wil stick with his family. I’m already smiling at his future which will be surrounded by your brother and father.

Bruce has taken your death pretty badly. Yet he does his best to keep an eye on me and now he will do the same for Jay. I can see him trying to make up for your passing and I don’t know how to ease his pain. I hope someday we will cross the bridge together. 

I’m also grateful that Dick was present for the birth of Jay, I really needed someone by my side. Needless to say, we both cried tears of joy together when Jay came. I think I will tease Dick about this for the rest of his life. 

Oh, I provided the picture I mentioned earlier so you can see Jay for the first time. I swear he will grow up to look like you. I’m glad he got your good looks to be honest. All the girls will fall for him like I did for you. Which I’m not looking forward to. I just hope he doesn’t get his charisma from Dick. 

Unfortunately, this is the end of the letter. I fear that Dick might cry a tsunami over JJ if I don’t retrieve our babe. I miss you, jaybird. 

Forever Yours,  [Name]. 

......

TAGGED

@makanirock05 @accountforreading123 @itsmonicabc @huntressofartemis3 @kathybernice

[ledesaid]

Billy Batson Speedster AU | #2

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

Billy takes Barry's hand.

Lately, he does it much more often, this time to enter the school.

Billy doesn't want to go in and Barry knows it. The grip of his hand becomes tighter. They had a consensus...

Judging by the younger one's reaction, he has just learned that word, but he supposes they have reached a fair agreement: go to school in the mornings and run with Flash at night.

Fortunately for the younger one, Barry can see himself reflected in him and doesn't let it pass how Billy starts to breathe harder. He could hyperventilate or have a panic attack, Billy's strong grip was mixed with a gurgling of irregular breaths.

Barry: We can try it tomorrow.

Billy is holding his breath, the blond slides a smile while picking Billy up and leaving the place. The latter doesn't say a word and it's not necessary, Barry understands...

When his mother died, returning to classes had been a nightmare and fear can have different seeds, but this time Barry is on the other side.

And, although he feels moderately functional after a terrible darkness from his failure after the destruction of Fawcett, it wasn't easy to have those flashes of peace or tranquility. He never imagined himself as a paternal figure after losing Iris, but he doesn't stop being grateful for having Billy with him now.

The third speedster.

He wants to know him more and Detective West was helping him get to know his story. Quite a story for someone his size, from running away from foster homes to school dropout reports since...

Barry realizes a bit late that he should apply a new approach if he wanted Billy to reintegrate, academically speaking, but he has faith that there's nothing an ice cream in California can't cure. It's the first time that either of them leaves the state, the first time since he met Billy on his way to Canada...

Barry: Do you want to stretch your legs a bit, would that be okay?

Billy: Yes... That... That would be okay.

A provisional anti-friction suit leads Billy to wear a complete red jumpsuit with yellow details and also to travel across the country to an ice cream shop.

Barry: I found this place by accident, I like to come when I want a change of scenery...

Billy: Can I ask you a question?

Barry: As many as you want, kid.

The younger one lights up and clenches his fists under the table.

Billy: C-could... Could I study at home?

That surprises the adult. It really wasn't what he expected. The little one was closing his eyes. Flash sighed, really wishing he could reach Billy so he wouldn't be afraid to express what he wanted.

Billy: Of course, don't worry about that, we can make it work...

The dark-haired boy looks up and Flash smiles to him.

Barry: Since we're here, would you like to join me in visiting someone?

Billy: Is a superhero like you?

Barry: Of course, and he's also my best friend. He's a pilot and his favorite color is green.

---------------------------

Origin | Part 1

[sarabethsilver]

Jess and Rory were bound to fall apart in S3. They were two teenagers living in a crazy town that put ALL kinds of pressure on them, they were headed down very different paths, and Jess wasn't ready for a relationship at that point. They had to go their separate ways for a bit.

But what really makes them tragic? Is that all of the adults - and eventually Jess and Rory themselves - come to understand their relationship's demise as entirely Jess' fault. And this narrative is really bad for both of them.

We all know Jess' mistakes in this relationship. The show makes a point to blow them up and examine them thoroughly, often with multiple characters chiming in to talk about how terrible Jess is. A single missed phone call, concert tickets purchased for the wrong reason (??), a poorly-timed black eye, a fight with Dean, the fact he left town. All of these choices are discussed and framed as solely Jess' fault. Jess' behaviors get no context. It doesn't matter that he was working late, that Rory yelled at him throughout that dinner, that Dean threw the first punch, or that Luke kicked him out. S3 decidedly concludes with Rory, The Poor Victim and Jess, The Jerk Who Broke Her Heart. The show never re-examines this perspective.

But if you pause and examine Rory's choices throughout their relationship, she doesn't look that good. Their relationship starts with a lie: Rory kissing him, demanding he keep it secret, and then ghosting him for two months. She's really angry with him when she returns, having sincerely expected him to wait around for her while she continued to date Dean. She withdraws her friendship while Jess dates Shane. She yells at him in the street, joining the chorus of townsfolk who publicly dislike him. She eggs his car and mocks him about it. She runs away from their first real kiss with zero explanation. She scolds him for kissing her in public, prioritizing Dean's feelings over her boyfriend's. She lies about Dean repeatedly. She gives him the silent treatment after a single missed phone call. She tricks him into attending dinner with her grandma, then yells at him the whole time. She spends the entirety of Kyle's party mocking Jess while ignoring his increasingly desperate pleas to leave.

Does any of this make Rory a terrible person? No. She's a teenager, and she was in a really complicated, no-win situation concocted by her mother and a slew of Stars Hollow adults who are far too obsessed with the love lives of teenagers. Rory's a people-pleaser and she was desperate to spare everyone's feelings, unable to accept that by nature of this situation: somebody was gonna get hurt no matter what. But in trying to protect everyone, she ended up hurting Jess the most. She doesn't trust him, she doesn't prioritize his feelings, and she doesn't communicate with him. She ultimately follows along with the town narrative that Jess Ruined Everything.

The really sad thing is that this narrative is bad for both of them. Jess ends up feeling like the world's biggest failure, fleeing town without a word and ending up totally alone. Rory ends up feeling like a helpless victim, utterly lacking agency in her own relationships. She is told, over and over again, that her relationship problems were not her fault. That it's normal to sit back, make no effort, and expect to be treated like a princess by a guy who has to read her mind and do absolutely all the work. You can draw a straight line from Rory being Blameless in the Jess breakup, and Rory having an affair with her married ex a year later.

What I would give for an effort to re-examine their relationship toward the end of the series! It would have been good for both of them to understand that they were both kids, they both made mistakes, but they both tried their best. There were no villains here. Just two flawed humans who cared about each other and tried to have a relationship before they were truly ready.

[franzkafkagf]

How do you personally think they massacred his potential? I fully agree, by the way. He could have and should have been a fan favourite. He's one of the most tragic characters I've seen, honestly. He's interesting and definitely the most complex character of the season, but the lack of catharsis the writers gave him for his issues is anger inducing.

the concept is just so good to me. the prince with no sense for duty or responsibility, who did not want the throne but feels forced to take it anyways. he takes the throne to save his family and yet, he watches all of them die anyways.

At first, the prince refused to be a part of his mother’s plans. “My sister is the heir, not me,” he said. “What sort of brother steals his sister’s birthright?” Only when Ser Criston convinced him that the princess must surely execute him and his brothers should she don the crown did Aegon waver.

that's just amazing. i cannot stress this enough; it's so profoundly tragic and sad. i don't hate everything they did with him in the show; they have many good ideas actually. him rejecting his valyrian heritage, him being kind of a failure at everything, him being desperate to my accepted/loved... this is all profound and good stuff! but i feel like his tragedy has been squandered by how the writers decided to frame the story. i could go on about how rhaenyra and alicent are potrayed so blandly in this show in order to make their embarrassing gender essentialism theme going but this is about aegon so i won't go into that.

aegon reminds me so much of theon greyjoy. maybe it's just me, but in my head theon and aegon start the story in similar places. they're spoilt, vain and indulgent. then they get their "calling", for aegon it's the crown. it's the first time in his life that he has a reason to get out of bed, to actually do something good for once. also, him believing his father actually wanted him to take the crown and it hurting him when otto scoffed at him for believing it? AMAZING stuff. I love s02xe02 to bits.

because [my father] didn't like me

theon's calling is to finally get his father's approval. balon, obviously, has no fatherly affection towards him and theon kind of knows it, he still betrays the only person he ever truly loved. and what happens to theon? he loses everything, absolutely everything; he is stripped of his pride, his dignity, of his entire identity. i've never seen a character go through something theon went through.

and i see parallels to aegon here! aegon is quite literally made and broken by the weight of a crown he never wanted. his story is more tragic than theon actually; the thing that destroyed him was quite literally forced on him. it actually kills me to think about it. he rushes into rook's rest because he feels powerless; because everybody around him shows him not even one ounce of empathy. his baby is dead and no one seems to care!

and he fails; of course he does. he is BETRAYED by his own brother, the brother he thought was loyal to him. this is just such good stuff my head hurts. his arc after the fall of KL is so amazing too, i'm desperate to see him go on his adventure to dragonstone and actually grow into the type of man that can turn rhaenyra's own people against her.

now, what could've been done to make his arc better in the show? well. let's start with not making him a rapist. i cannot stress this enough. the single worst choice was to introduce him as a rapist. it's actually crazy to me. it's so easy too... just make him like theon; make him promiscuous, make him vain, make him spoilt! they should've introduce his adult version with a drunk sex scene actually. set the tone for his character from the beginning.

he is not suited for the throne; he seeks pleasures, doesn't care for his valyrian lessons (based!), he drinks all day... like, what was the POINT of making him a rapist? what was it? -> the answer is obvious.... they didn't want us sympathizing with him. they were scared of people liking the villain. why is this hbo show scared you might have people sympathizing and pitying the "villain"? are you okay? YOU HAD ONE JOB. DEAR GOD.....

so with that said; make his motivations clearer. have him scream at aemond after jaehaerys dies, change up the godawful brothel scene to actually drive the point home; he is still grieving and his way of grieving is lashing out and drinking himself half to death! focus on his alcoholism and his rashness. I actually rewrote the brothel scene here

make us understand him bettter; there are moments like the "do you love me?" or all of ep 1 and 2 of season 2, but it's too little, too late. the writers in general have such a hard time with writing characters with actual qualities. all of them are so empty and act like robots. only aegon, criston, daemon and rhaenyra (in episodes 1 and 2 at least... then we went right back to robot mode lmao) show moments of actually being a character with rich inner workings. i hate it so much.

[rottenpumpkin13]

How does Zack cry?

What does it look like? What does it sound like?

What does he like for comfort?

Any other CC importants/you prefer to write about? Their cry comfort scenario?

Zack: When Zack cries, it's as if his emotions finally have nowhere else to go. It's a violent, consuming, absolute. torrent of tears. When he breaks, he shatters, a surge of frustration, pain, and helplessness that crashes over him all at once. He's not against being vulnerable in front of others, but even his closest friends may be shocked.

He drops to his knees, hands clutching his face, the sobs coming in jagged, gasping sounds. His body shakes violently, as if trying to expel every ounce of despair he's been bottling up, like a broken little kid trying to understand why everything is too much. When he tries to wipe them away, it only makes it worse—anger and embarrassment mixing. He doesn't want to cry, he hates it, but it’s beyond his control.

It's always at breaking point when you'll find him like this, utterly wrecked. Angeal usually finds him. Angeal knows exactly what to do—he wraps his arms around Zack, presses his chest against his back, his voice soft, steady, always telling him that it's okay to break down. And sometimes, Cloud is there, quieter, but just as determined in his own way. He doesn't have words like Angeal does, but he knows how to soothe through action.

Sephiroth: He never cries. Not in the way the others do. His tears don't announce themselves. They simply exist—silver trails down pale cheeks, no sound, no acknowledgment. He was taught to suppress emotions from the very start, conditioned to believe that showing weakness is the path of failure. He holds it in, all of it, for as long as he can. It's not loud. There's no sobbing, no hysteria, just the quiet, aching drip of tears he can't stop as his hand clutches his chest. Genesis would pull him in for a hug and recite poetry, Angeal would speak soft, careful words about healing as he stroked his hair. But Genesis and Angeal won't always be there. When they leave, Sephiroth just lets them fall, because what else can he do?

Genesis: When Genesis cries, it's anger that brings the tears. It's rarely sorrow, sometimes pain—but usually it's fury, frustration, and deep, burning rage that finally breaks him. His tears come in rivulets, hot and salty, mingling with the blood he's drawn from biting his lip in a vain attempt to keep it together. His face flushes red and it's hard for him to look anyone in the eye. Angeal is there, and Genesis melts into his arms like ice under a flame, sobbing in the arms of his best friend, the anger slowly dissipating into sorrow.

Angeal: He has always been the one who holds everyone else together. Strong for his friends, strong for the younger soldiers, strong for his mother, even when he's the one who feels like he's falling apart inside. He's the anchor, the steady one—the one who takes on burdens with a smile, even when it's too much. He learned long ago to push his own feelings aside, to keep going, to keep others from seeing his own cracks. But sometimes he can't keep it in any longer. His tears come when he's busy, when he's talking to to other people. He pretends that everything is fine, that it isn't happening. He wipes them away quickly, continue on with whatever task he's been doing. And the problem with Angeal is that he's very reluctant to let other people comfort him.

Rufus: He's been taught to suppress everything. He's the apparent heir to Shinra, the man who's expected to be strong, calculating, always in control. "Tears are a sign of weakness," is what dear old dad would say, "emotions are to be controlled and tucked away."

He learned this lesson early from his father, who showed him that to show emotion is to show vulnerability, and vulnerability is the enemy of power. But when he cries as an adult—as opposed to a lonely child in the arms of whatever nanny was hired to care for him, it's the loud, devastating kind, type kind of crying that belongs to a little kid forced to grow up too fast, but only with Tseng to witness it. Tseng has always been the one to comfort him, who knows exactly what words Rufus needs as he collapses in his arms, exhausted by the emotional buildup. Tseng will hold him, stroke his hair, murmur soothing words that Rufus needs desperately. Afterward, Rufus will pretend it never happened, acting like he's still the same reserved, controlled VP he always was. If Tseng ever brings it up again, there's a very real chance that he might find himself in the line of one of Rufus' bullets.

[brucewaynehater101]

Breaking in because some months ago you posted an AU idea where Dick kills Batman before Damian arrives but imagine if Dick realized that Batman got so bad a child resorted to being brutalized because he thinks he's needed to fix him

So then Dick ends up killing Batman BEFORE Jason ever arrives, and disposes of the body in such a way, that trying to ressurect Bruce w/ Lazarus waters is pointless

There's two three four ways we can do this

a. Jason only learns of Batman dying after coming back to Gotham and before meeting the Batclan

b. Jason learns Batman died while still with the League, something that throws him, Thalia, Ra's, and whoever else for a loop

c. Jason doesn't even know Bruce is dead after getting to Gotham, and it takes time until he learns Dick is Batman

d. Jason and the League only knows of Batman being replaced or missing himself, and only later learn he's been found or announced dead

When the newest Red Hood tries to pull shit? Dick (the new Batman) has none of it as he is extrq protective of his Robins (Tim and Stephanie) after Jason died and Tim was abused

Now what to do w/ Bruce and Wayne Enterprises? I mean, Dick w/ Barbara and Tim's help can become the new patriarch and owner/CEO but there's also the fact that tjey need to navitage the chaos that is either Brucie Wayne dying or going missing qnd being qnnounced deqd unsuspiciously

There's also the idea that Dick (+any accomplices) would have to navigate relations with the Justice League whilst hiding his murder, and Gotham has to deal w/ the changes a new Batman introduces

Suddenly Batman is putting the wellbeing of the people, especially his kids, over justice and his ideals, and whether or not anybody suspects or knows this new Batman "took care" of the old one leaves a lot of potential for plotlines

Also Cassandra, if she still joins the Bats, has to grapple with the patriarch being a killer because the previous patriarch was an abuser

Gosh how will this affect Damian and how he's raised? How will the LOA respond to Bruce's death?

Oh yeah Jason, I can't imagine Dick would leave Joker alive either after what happened to Jason, especially if there was a Joker Junior incident

It's gonna be a mindfuck for he, he needs wanted for his father to prove himself as still being his dad, for Bruce to choose him over "The Right Thing To Do" even if Jason became something Batman would hate

Except Jason doesn't even get the closure of his father proving himself a failure of a father, because Bruce already failed as a father to Dick to such a degree that his reward was death

Jason doesn't know who his father is or would have beenanymore, just that Dick is to Tim, Stephanie and so on what Jay dad wasn't as he was in the League, training for an encounter that would never come

Ooh! But let's add on more, shall we?

I don't remember the og post you're referencing, but let's be mean to Dick :)

I like the many many possibilities for Jason you've listed out, but imma get specific on how Dick killed Bruce.

To be cruel, let it be an accident.

For the exact stage, perhaps the JJ incident still happened, but after Tim was Robin. Dick didn't find out about it because Bruce never informed him, and Dick was busy with Bludhaven and the Titans (it was another unfortunate timing for Dick).

About a year or so after the event, Tim is doing much better. He's been on the field for a bit and doesn't relapse as much (either into thinking he's JJ, Joker's his dad, or the laughing spells).

Joker captures Tim again and calls him "Junior." Dick has never seen Tim react the way he did to that name.

They have history. A bad one.

Bruce isn't surprised.

Bruce hid this from Dick.

The young adult has to take several breaths, but he holds his reservations. Maybe Bruce was respecting Tim's boundaries (yeah fucking right).

Fighting happens ya da ya da and Dick learns what Joker did to Tim.

He's fucking enraged. Joker has touched another sibling of his.

Then, the Joker and Tim are in a precarious position. Dick rushes to save Tim and barely manages to get him in time.

When Dick looks up, the Joker is perfectly fine. Nightwing feels his blood start to boil.

His baby brother almost slipped out of his grasp when he rushed as fast as he could to save him. Dick moved, without hesitation, to save Tim.

Batman would have had to move, without hesitation, to save Joker over saving Robin.

Batman put Joker's safety over Robin's.

The flip is instantaneous.

Nightwing starts pummeling the shit out of both Joker and Batman. Due to the element of surprise, Dick had the upper hand. He gets broken ribs and a concussion for his troubles, but Batman is beneath his fist taking the beating Nightwing is dealing out.

He never realizes Bruce has stopped breathing until he feels a hand on his elbow.

Tim's expression is grim as he focuses on Dick. The teen is heavily dissociating as he takes in the scene.

Tim's lips, when he glances down at Batman, start to tremble. He presses them together to try to keep a calm facade.

The teen closes his eyes, breathes in, breathes out, nods to himself, and then opens them.

Bruce is dead. Joker is dead.

They've got work to do.

~~~

In this AU, Steph becomes Robin during Tim's recovery stage from JJ and after this incident. Tim takes a step back after helping Dick dismantle and hide Batman's body to consolidate Dick's position as Wayne heir, majority shareholder, and Batman. He works with Babs to aid Dick in these various transitions.

Lucius is the acting CEO, which takes a huge load off of Dick's shoulders.

Dick is obviously not doing fine about accidentally murdering his dad. At least he killed Joker too, though.

Tim's not doing great either, but it's fine. He eventually steps back into the cape. Steph and him like to play pranks on Gotham. They both vehemently deny that there's two Robins running around at the same time.

I don't think Alfred would stick around after they murdered and covered up the murder of Bruce :/ I wish he would, but maybe he takes a nice retirement in England.

Babs, Tim, and Dick are good at covering their tracks. There's rumors that the new Batman killed the old one, but there's also rumors that he eats people.

The LoA don't know who killed Bruce, but they know he's dead. Tim and Dick still grieve him (feelings are fun like that), so they aren't on the suspect list.

Red Hood shows up demanding answers.

Batman (Dick) confirms that he *will* put his family first. Always.

[arisveah]

i think theres a lot to be said abt six and monos differing backgrounds. its what makes six seem like such a monster to the vast majority of the fandom, and i dont agree.

explanation under cut

mono is a kid of neglect. wherever he's from, he knows not to depend on adults. but he also knows that other kids will help him, and that the more hands they have, the easier it is to survive. hes hopeful, because he's only ever lost a group once, and hes not come to terms with that.

six, however, is a child of abuse. shes from what is essentially a group home, and shes seen what happens to kids that get too confident. the pretender was not an adult- but she was a monster.

six understands that kids will do anything for praise and acceptance, and shes tried her hand at butting in on other peoples fights. it didnt help the girl in the yellow raincoat, and its never mattered before. she escaped the nest in the wake of anothers sacrifice: she will not be the next to take the fall.

and then, shes captured by the hunter. hes killed his family, and stuffed them into what looks like perfection. and its not garantiert, but its heavily implied that she would match their fate if mono hadnt broken in. that could have inspired her to reach out, but then she's dragged on HIS quest and almost dies, really truly dies, along the way. he saves her because thats what he thinks is right, but all six feels is that things have gotten worse. at least with the hunter, she could rest. she grows bitter.

some kids dont want to be saved. the way the system is, the best option is to just grow up sometimes. she needs out. she goes back to what she knows.

on the maw, violence is evident. there's bloody hand prints, cages, and so. many. kids. they're getting older. they're being consumed, sold, lusted for. gluttony. its so much worse than it was, with mono, but it's familiar. she turns her head, and sees evidence of those who came before her. the babies are cared for, but the older you get, the less charm you have. and sometimes, the best option is to just grow up. she doesn't- can't see another option. its her, or its the kids who come after her. she will not be the next to take the fall.

tldr: six isnt evil, shes abused and terrified of repeating the failures before her. terrified of something unpredictable.