#but having to do all this shit makes me feel so frail. and i hate it

[eebie]

[mars-ipan]

ggghhghrrgh i hate when i get an injury in a joint

[chastiefoul]

toji didn’t the remember the last time he had to take care of someone who’s sick. perhaps once or maybe twice, but that was practically an ancient tale from the past.

seeing your frail body tucked under the cover as you breath raggedly, your face flushed red not in the usual way that he loves, no, it only looked like you’re in a lot of pain and he hated that. he put his palm on your forehead, and even an idiot like him knew that no normal human should be this warm.

the coolness of his calloused hand refreshed you a little as you leaned into his touch, chasing it like it’s your only source of comfort. the black-haired man noticed how you clinged to him, keeping his hand there as his thumb rubbed the corner of your eyebrow ever-so-softly. if you decide that his hand that’s so used to killing and doing rough works is helping you, then it’s yours. damn it, he wanted to helpful, even just a little bit.

“head hurts, toji,” you frowned, wanting the incessant pounding in your head to be gone already. “bet it does, pretty girl. what you need?” he kissed your eyelid softly, desperate in needing guidance — some kind of instructions on how he can make you feel better. he lost all confidence in himself at that moment, afraid that his unwarranted clumsy action will upset you. “i don’t know,” you muttered, telling the truth.

“let’s get some food in you, hm? i’ll cook something,” he said as he stroke your hair. “but i don’t wanna get sicker,” you said playfully with whatever energy you had left. toji chuckled, leave it to you to always keep him on his toes. “i make a mean scrambled egg, even you and your bratty ass can’t deny that.” 

“you’re right, my boyfriend is really good at frying egg,” you said teasingly, loving the way his fingers kept weaving through your hair. he saw your grin, his lips stretched on his own. “having fun?” he raised an eyebrow, amused. “a little,” you replied, closing your eyes. toji raises the blanket all the way to your neck. his gentle touches made you sleepy despite the jarring headache.

“love it when you spoil me,” you mumbled, scooting closer to him. “don’t get used to it,” he replied with an easy tone, knowing damn well he will continue to spoil you rotten. his thumb brushed your cheek over and over, it felt blissful. when he was sure you’re off to dreamland he planted a kiss on the side of your head he muttered, “hurts me seeing you like this, baby.” he got up from the bed, already having many list of errand he needed to tick off, such as buying you food and some medicine for you to take. 

he chuckled to himself, his legs was faster before any other thought entered his mind like they got will of their own.

“…got me all soft and shit,” he grumbled to no one exactly, an endearing smile loyal to his face as he had you on your mind.

yet, he didn’t think it was the worst feeling in the world.  it’s up there. maybe next time you even will get him to admit that it’s one of the best.

[tender-rosiey]

MORE HUSBAND!SUKUNA PLSSSS (not forcing TvT) (not modern-)

tough love — ryomen sukuna x gn!reader

a/n: okay but like imagine living in a palace with this guy

your husband is sweet, but not in the traditional sense.

when you think of sweet, you think of nights spent with hushed whispers and mutual giggles, you think of flowers at your doorstep every single day.

you don’t think of a 7 foot something man, with the biggest scowl on his face, staring at you in the early morning and scaring the heebie-jeebies out of you.

but he is still sweet.

despite the blood staining his hands and his manic grin doing such acts, the same hands have the ability to hold you as gently as one would stroke a flower’s petal.

they’re able to cradle you and carry you to bed and tuck you in. sure, there is no goodnight kiss, but that’s because he doesn’t leave. when you rest, your husband stays awake on the look to make sure that no harm comes to you.

he is rough with what he does. still, you feel happiness about to overflow when, for example, he gets you jewelry he believes would suit you.

add to that, the fact that he personally puts them on you. you remember that one time he got back from his endeavor—terrorizing yet another village—and he greeted you with a box painted with gold and wrapped in velvet.

you took the box from his hands and opened. it revealed a very exquisite anklet with jewels of your favorite color. they are organized in a matter that you distinctly remember telling your husband about and how pretty that is to you.

you looked up to him giddily, “so you do pay attention!”

he takes the anklet from the box, grumbling, “shut up,” and despite his harsh tone and words, he kneels and puts the anklet on you. it’s a bit hard, considering his big hands and long nails, but he manages. he pulls back with a smirk, and you examine the anklet on your leg.

“I like it.”

“of course, you do; I chose it.”

he is an ass, but that same guy takes care of you when you’re sick—somehow. when news had spread that you’ve fallen ill, you expected that your husband would simply send the maids to your aid and the doctors to ensure your rapid and swift recovery.

instead, what you saw was the figure of your—scary—husband stood at your door. you peek from under the covers, a cough escaping your lips, “how can I help you, husband?”

he frowns down at you, “you look like shit.”

you start laughing, but it quickly turns into a coughing fit—his frown deepens—, “well—obviously! I am sick,” you try to get a look of what’s behind him, “where are the maids and doctors?”

he sits on the bed, right by your side, and rests a hand on your forehead, “I am not letting their filthy hands touch you,” a sigh threatens to escape him, when he feels your temperature, “you’re foolish.”

you huff, “I can’t control how sick I get, you know!”

“well, you could’ve avoided this, if you had listened to me when I told you not to play in the rain.”

the memory brings a dopey smile to your face.

the rain was falling freely but gently. the wind was blowing just right. and your husband was watching you, under the door frames so he doesn’t get wet. he called for you, of course, but you’re a free spirit and wanted to enjoy the outdoors a bit more.

you’re never confided in the walls of the palace, but it’s nice to feel like a rebel every once in a while even if it ends up with you being sick in bed.

he sees the little kick of your feet, “but, it was fun, right? I even managed to get you to stand in the rain with me!”

yes, he did, in the end and after much whining, go in the rain with you. he was simply standing there, but it’s the thought that counts, right? and because he is the king of curses, he didn’t get sick, but he did get stuck taking care of you.

it’s a win in his book—even if he hates seeing you all frail like that—but he would never tell you that.

he shoves a cup of water to your lips, and grumbles, “shut up and drink.”

your goes up to hold the cup, but his glare makes you slowly lower them back down. you get the memo that he wants to take care of you, to the fullest. he slowly helps you drink all of the water.

so you relax the entire night, letting him nurse you back to health. he is a bit clumsy throughout it, and you understand it’s because he never truly cared for someone before nor did someone care for him in a way so tender and gentle.

you think it’s cute: his determination mixed with a hint of roughness and cluelessness.

you want to giggle and chuckle at some of the things he does like how he was confused about which medicine you were supposed to take and at what hour.

or like how—despite his enormous strength—he was unable to take the cover of the bottle of herbs off, but you’re sure he would either glare at you or leave you to suffer alone for an hour.

so yeah, he stays with you the entire time you’re sick, night and day, never leaving your chambers. even when he needed something like medicine or a wet cloth, he would send the maids.

he stays by your side till you’re back to your feet with a smile on your face.

and when you’re dinning on the very long and gigantic table, you look intently at your husband’s face. he reminds you of something with his permanent scowl and grumpily attitude.

he notices your gaze and groans, “what is it now?”

you gasp as you finally come to the long awaited realization.

a tiger.

your husband is a tiger, one hell of a grumpy tiger.

“your face looks stupider than usual; what’s up with you now?”

an asshole tiger.

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copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[minus-plus-zer0]

One Good Grovel

♡ Genre: Fluff (trust me), little crack ♡ Pairing: Bakugou x Reader ♡ Tags: Established relationships

You and Katsuki had your biggest fight in a while.

Both sides fought like they were out for blood. You two said things you shouldn't have, things that were hard to take back. It ended with Bakugou storming out of your shared apartment.

The moment he did, he regretted it. But he didn't know how to go back inside and say it.

Hours later after he came home from doing errands, Bakugou found you on the couch. You hadn't answered any of his texts, and Bakugou never felt so helpless before. He was already losing you fast, and he couldn't dawdle now. Bakugou dumped his groceries on the kitchen counter and then approached you. Neither of you said anything.

You still looked torn up about your earlier argument, your hair a little messy in a way that Bakugou liked. He'd prefer to be the one messing it up himself, but he knew he didn't deserve that privilege now. Bakugou threw an extra blanket over you, because you looked like you needed one.

"Yo," Bakugou said, sitting down beside you on the couch. "How've you been holding up?"

"...I don't wanna talk about it. Not with you."

Your voice was frail, quiet. It broke Bakugou's heart, knowing that he put you in this position.

He had to make it right.

"I'm sorry," Bakugou said. "For everything I said. I wouldn't be surprised if ya never wanted to talk to me ever again after this." You looked at him suspiciously. "It'd kill me if you did, but that's fine. 'Cause I value your feelings over mine. When I was out today, all I could think about was you and what I said to you. So I bought you some gifts and I really hope you'll love 'em."

Bakugou reached out to stroke your hair. "And I promise you, I'll never say that demeaning shit to you ever again. You mean more to me than winning that stupid argument, and I don't know where I'd be in my life without you by my side. I was wrong, okay? I was dead wrong for treating you like that, like anything less than the best. Most of all, I just want ya to take me back and love me. But I won't force ya to do anything. I can walk out that door again and leave you alone if you asked. And if you hate me forever... I understand."

You smiled at him. "...Okay, I hear you."

"...So do ya hate me now?"

You still smiled. "Only a whole bunch. You monster." You playfully punched him in the face.

"Sorry," Bakugou said, matching your sweet expression. "I deserved that. Punch me all ya want. Won't even stop ya."

You gave him several more feather-light punches. "You're soooo dead."

"Ya gonna call the cops on me too? Make sure I never do that shit again? Make sure I learn my lesson instead of forgiving me too easily?"

"Yes." You fluffed his hair. "They're already on their way. The conviction of a famous Pro Hero is gonna be the scandal of a century!"

Bakugou fixed his hair. "Well I'll still love ya, even while in jail."

You crossed your arms. "Only after you've served your 10-year sentence and repent through hours and hours of community service will I finally forgive you. Then you'll be free, we'll start all over, and we'll fall in love again."

"Deal," Bakugou said, kissing your forehead. "But I wanna skip to the end."

"No, that's the easy way out!"

"The hell? You're not actually gonna send me to jail for saying it was wrong to like Pepsi over Coca-Cola, are ya?"

"That's how the roleplay is going!"

"It ain't that serious! I said I was sorry babe! I'm sorry!"

You recalled what you originally fought about quite easily...

"Alright," Bakugou said. "I'm gonna head out for groceries. Any last minute changes to the shopping list?"

"Oh yes!" You rushed out to meet him in the entrance. "Could you get me some Pepsi? Pretty please?"

"What the fuck?" Bakugou looked at you like you grew two heads. "'Pepsi'? You want freaking 'Pepsi'?!"

You shrugged. "...Is that so bad? It'd be nice to have something besides Coca-Cola for once..."

Bakugou's eyes narrowed into slits. He shut the front door and approached you. "I didn't realize we had a freaking problem here. You're telling me I've been buying the wrong soda for you this entire time?!"

"Well... It's just not as good as Pepsi. It's not the same. I'm sorry... but I've always felt this way."

"Since fucking when?! When did things change?" Bakugou slapped a hand over his eyes. "What the hell did I miss?!"

Bakugou couldn't believe this. He thought he knew you better than anyone, just like how you knew him better than anyone. You two were the tightest couple ever. Bakugou had an engagement ring hidden in his dresser because he had already long since decided that what he wanted in life was you.

But now, he didn't feel like he knew you at all.

He'd still marry you though.

You remained silent. Bakugou couldn't stand it. He shook his head, then walked back to the front door, opening it. He stopped before he left, turning to you.

"Coca-Cola is better than Pepsi. That's just a fact."

Then he turned, and left. Instant regret washed over him, but he continued down to the front lobby. As Bakugou looked down upon his cursed shopping list, he couldn't in good conscious buy Coca-Cola anymore. Not when you hated it so much. He had to make things right.

He was getting Dr. Pepper instead.

"This is fucking disgusting, Katsuki," you said, halfway through your delicious can of Dr. Pepper at your dinner table.

"It was on sale, alright?!"

(I've read that a lot of people are unsatisfied with grovels in romance novels because they don't feel that the love interest apologizes well enough, so I wrote this just in case anybody needs one good quick grovel with none of the baggage attached. Btw, my favorite is Coke and it's not even close)

[innocent-artery]

hi! if your requests are open could you do anything for patrick verona? like anything lol ill take it

So requests are actually not open right now, but given that this was sent in when they were I saved it for Kinktober. I hope you like it!

Kinktober 31st: I Knew You'd Come Around

aka hate sex with Patrick Verona

1k words

Summary: Hate sex with Patrick Verona. That's it.

Pairing: Patrick Verona x fem!reader

For the sake of avoiding spoilers, extensive warnings will not be given. This story includes sexually explicit material, reader discretion advised.

While reading, I recommend listening to enemies to lovers, a spotify playlist by me!

~

You hated yourself for doing this, you really did. You hated the butterflies in your stomach for fluttering when he grabbed your ass, hated your hands for tugging him closer by the collar of his, hated your heart for racing at the feeling of his tongue on yours.

That was the general emotion when you were around him. Hate. Hate and frustration and annoyance and pure, fiery arousal.

The last one is the most prevalent as you're pressed up against a bedroom wall, the bass of the song playing outside reverberating on your back. Patrick's hands are all over you, groping and tracing every inch of skin he could find.

"Fucking idiot," you huff in between wet smacks of your lips, yanking at his shirt collar, trying to signal him to take it off.

"Y'know," he starts, tugging his shirt over his head and tossing it aside, "for someone who proclaims to hate me so much, you sure are hell-bent on getting me naked."

"They're not mutually exclusive concepts, dumbass." Your words seem frail, and your voice trails off at the end as his fingers tug at the belt loops of your pants.

"Ooh, big words." He purrs, cocking an eyebrow. "Are you doing that thing where you try to sound smart so that I don't notice that you're full of shit?"

"I am not- oh..." Any biting remark you may have had ready died on your tongue as his fingers slipped under your pants and stroked your covered lips, building a dull, throbbing ache between your legs.

"Aw, not so talkative now, are you?" Patrick placed open-mouthed kisses over your neck, nipping gently every so often. "If I'd known this was all it took to shut you up, I would've done this sooner."

With a gasp, your hand snakes up to his hair, fingers curling when the pads of his fingers linger over your covered clit, roaming a little before finding the rhythm that made your head fall back with a thump.

"Atta girl, keep making those pretty noises." He hummed, using his other hand to pop open the buttons of your pants and tug them down to your knees.

Well, naturally, you just had to do the opposite of whatever he told you. So you clamped your mouth shut. But by then your vocal cords had developed a mind of their own, so your hums and sighs were still crystal clear in his ears.

Patrick pulls back for a moment to look at you, eyes darting all over your stony face. His tongue poked the inside of his cheek, and you could see the gears turning behind his eyes.

"Shoulda seen that coming. But we'll get you talking."

And you should have known he wasn't all talk. Before you have the chance to scoff at his remark, his hand dips under the waistband of your underwear to trace along your lips, skin to skin contact.

You could feel your cheeks turn hot as he watched you, eyes wide with awe and amusement. "'S such a mess down there, pretty. Little ol' me did that?"

He knew you weren't going to admit it, so he didn't wait for a response. He got all he needed when he saw you react, saw you keen when his fingertips dragged over your clit, resuming the rhythm that set fire in your belly.

"Aw, it's okay," he purrs, tonguing over your collarbone. "Y'don't have to say it. Y'know why? 'Cause this pretty pussy says it all for me, doesn't she?"

That makes your pussy clench, and you know he can feel it. An airy chuckle tells you he definitely can. "Thought so. Can feel her asking for it, begging for me."

You can't help the surprised moan that is ripped from your throat when he sinks a finger in, curling at just the right spot to have your nails digging into his shoulders. Your legs are already weak, and stray hairs are already pasted to your forehead by sweat.

"Fucking hate you," you sigh, but when you're rolling your hips up into his hand it doesn't hold much venom.

"Can't hear you, sweet cheeks, might need to speak up."

"I hate you."

"What's that?''

"I hate you." You can feel pleasure boiling in your gut, seconds away from boiling over.

"One more time," he purrs, pressing his palm up into your clit.

"I hate you! Patrick!" You grasp onto his shoulders as pleasure comes over you in waves, spreading through every vein into your fingertips until you're panting through a blissful afterglow.

"There we go." Patrick wipes a hair that fell over your mouth away, grinning. "Knew you'd come around."

You roll your eyes as Patrick pats your cheek and then leaves towards the ensuite bathroom. The air is suddenly cold against you, and a strange feeling swoops in your gut when his figure disappears from your sight. But he comes back a moment later with a wet rag to hand to you, and the feeling lightens.

For the first time in all the time you've known each other, a thick silence permeated the room amongst the smell of sex. The sound of fabric rustling against skin and the bathroom sink running sounded louder against the tile.

Patrick was the first to speak. "I'm assuming you don't want to be seen together, so I won’t overstay my welcome. I’ll see you around." He didn’t meet your eye, murmuring into his shirt as he buckled his belt.

You didn't respond. You weren't sure why, and you weren't sure what the answer would have been if you had. But Patrick doesn't seem to take offense to it, instead stepping out of the bathroom. You watch through the mirror as he heads towards the bedroom door.

He stops in the doorway, hand on the doorknob. He's wearing his telltale grin and his hair whips with the movement as he looks back at you.

"If you ever feel like hating me again, give me a call."

.

[matchadobo]

KIDD; the captain has an allergy!

wc: 2061 summary: kidd has an allergy, he's allergic to... you. warnings: afab reader, none, just dumb kidd who can't figure out his feelings while killer tries to compartmentalize the captain's head to sort out his feelings for you, just fluff, a bit suggestive but no nsfw, kidd rambling abt you that's it

something's wrong with eustass kidd. he reckons that he's fatally ill. he feels like he could die any second. his chest feels tight, his muscles feel tense, his vision hazy, his body temperature skyrocketing, and his body perpetually weak most times of the day. he wanted to kill someone, the next pirate king shouldn't be so frail!

"man, i-huff-i feel like i'm having a-huff-a heart attack." the redhead clutched his chest tight, discarding his fur coat off and tossing it somewhere in the blond's quarters. killer looked quite offended that his captain interrupted his knitting.

"what's wrong with you?" killer started as he watched his captain sit by the edge of his bed, taking his vest off as he tries gathering air. "not a fever perhaps?" he stood up and placed the back of his hand atop kidd's forehead, he seemed to be sweating coldly. "talk to me, kidd."

"can you- huff- can you get allergic to someone?"

killer looked at his best friend like he grew a another head. it took him a while to respond. he cleared his throat and continued. "sorry, kidd but... whatever the fuck do you mean?" he tried searching clarity from his captain's eyes as he tried racking his lacking-medicinal-terms brain.

"this is fuckin' ridiculous, alright mate? don'tcha dare laugh at me." kidd started, leaning his arms back behind him as they supported his weight. after taking in a deep breath, he continued. "i think i'm allergic to name."

killer tried stifling his laughter but failed, receiving death glares from the other. "oh you're serious, damn." the blond soon realized and cleared his throat. "how did you... arrive at that verdict, kidd?"

"to start: whenever that fuckin' woman's around, she always makes my stomach feel funny. like i'm about to puke rainbows and shit." he started. "i feel all hot and my throat goes dry, like cat got my damn tongue." he moved his hands around for emphasis, mostly towards his head and chest.

at this point, killer's not getting enough credit for stomaching whatever bullshit his captain brings upon him. he's thanking all the gods there is for his mask because he can't muster how contorted his face looks from the dumb shit his captain is spewing. the amount of times his best friend rambles incoherent drivel about you will send him to madness the next time he hears about them and not see any development. it's nonsense like these that makes him rub his temples and would rather physically punt kidd to make that boneheaded captain realize what he truly feels about you.

the blond stared at him with a grim aura around him, "the fuck are you staring at me like that for?!" kidd protested.

"do you not realize that maybe- just maybe- she makes you feel something else more than... just a fellow crewmate? like i don't know maybe fucking love?" killer tried tiptoeing, piecing it out for him. that is until kidd just blankly stared at him, blinking his eyes as he waits for a word that he understands.

"love?! pft, hell no, shit doesn't sound like me. and that's impossible, i am in hate with her." he shook his head, crossing his arms. "that's why she makes me sick all the way to my stomach. she's a witch i'm tellin' ya."

killer worried at how serious kidd was at that last bit, the redhead's brows furrowed earnestly as he clasped his hands together. "and you think these are all uhh- symptoms for your allergy?"

"not just those!" he interceded, fist slamming down the wooden table. the impact shaking the cup of tea killer had before this disaster walked in. "my chest, i can't breathe each time she's there. just like earlier before i came in, she walked pass me and then i feel like she casted some kind of stupid witchcraft and then i suddenly struggle to breathe...! have i told you that i strongly think that she's a goddamn witch?!"

"yeah, that's twice now."

"i can't eat, feels like i'll throw everythin' up once she sits beside me. and each time she does, her touch feels like i'm bein' stung. she'll walk up to me with that annoyingly beamin' smile and bright fuckin' eyes, i just end up embarrassin' my damn self if i associate myself even further..." he downed the rum in his hands, "there it is! i feel fuckin' hot again! that woman really-"

"what woman?" you suddenly came around, peeking at killer's quarters. kidd jumped at your voice, knocking over things from the table and immediately falling off his seat. killer could be seen with a hand buried on his face, well in this case helmet. you let out a laugh at your rum-drenched captain who was sitting bashfully on the floor.

despite that, you sauntered towards him and squatted down. you took your hanky and unfolded it, drying his hair and wiping the residue liquid on the rest of his face. "what dumb shit are you up to again, captain?" you tilted your head to get a good look at him, but he refused to meet your eyes. you sighed, realizing he was too embarrassed to speak. "well, pick yourself up cuz you look stupid. also, it's not good to see the future pirate king on the floor, don't you think? whatever, see ya." you stood upright, waving to the two men goodbye.

"kidd, you alright?"

"you're right. i'm in love, am i?" he looked up at his best friend, fisting his pants bashfully.

killer rested his chin by his hands with a sigh, "about time you fucking realize."

"that's fuckin' funny, how could i be fuckin' in love?! cuz i hate that she shuts me up cuz i think she's right most of the time. i hate that all that i see is her, every minute for every day. i hate how her eyes shine when she smiles. i hate how she looks at me with that much faith that i'd make it. i hate how she calls me captain and it messes with my fuckin' head, drivin' my chest abnormal. i hate how i constantly want to be beside her. i hate that i always think about where she is and what she's up to. i hate that i am dying to know if she feels the goddamn same for this helpless sack of fuck that can't even pull himself towards her!"

"damn." killer clicked his tongue. "you really are crazy for her, aren't you?"

"from the beginning of it all," he shook his head in disbelief. how can a woman, manage to weaken eustass kidd like this?! just how?! "but i doubt this'd happen, have you seen her and have you seen me? she's way out of my league." he picked himself up, padding his bum with dirt and wiping himself with that hanky you gave. your perfume mixing with rum on his hands.

"oh? humbling yourself, kidd? now, that's not like you." killer countered.

"i-i'm not!" his ears turned red just as fast as he shot out a response. "she's just..."

"too precious you don't want to ruin her?" killer finished, the shock in kidd's eyes proved his accuracy. killer stood beside his best friend and put an arm around his shoulder. "come on, kidd. i look at the two of you and all i see are a couple of hardheaded crooks from the same mould with the same attitude, same stubbornness, and same passion for their dreams. she's tamer than you yes, more intelligent yes, more emotionally aware yes, and much calmer than you yes. that's exactly why you need each other, she regulates your storms and you give her peace a little peril. and trust me, i've seen how much she craves for your danger."

that bit made something primal awaken within kidd, something that he won't be apologizing for once it reveals itself later.

"so go, kidd. get her." killer gave him a little pat on the shoulder and pushed him out his quarters. a sigh of relief as he finally sees the end of this farce.

kidd took a deep breath and went on a search for you. he went looking for you in almost an hour, only to find you in his workshop as you mused at his trinkets and creations. "name, i've been looking everywhere for you. the hell are you doing here?"

"jeez, a hello would be nice." you rolled your eyes. "i wanted to tell you something."

"that's crazy, so do i." he shut the door behind him. he saw the shift in your expression as you heard his statement.

"you can go first." you smiled, making his heart skip a beat again.

"nah, you go."

"i insist. go on."

"no, go ahead."

"captain, just spit it out."

"you spit it out."

"you were the one looking for me, you go first!"

"well, you're the first one who said you were gonna say somethin'!"

"you know what?! neverfuckingmind! i can't with your dumb, stubborn ass!" you walked pass him. that is until he impulsively grabs your wrist and puts you back in your initial place.

you felt your skin burn at his touch, sucking in a deep breath as you regulated your rhythms from his firm grip.

"stay." he announced, seriously this time. you got a good look at his face, the faint light of the lantern along the little window by the other side of the room illuminated his sharp features. his eyes glowing with earnest and the genuine

need to say something he seems to be keeping for a while now.

he got closer and closer until your bum met with his worktable settled at the other side of the room, your hands holding at the edges for support as he got precariously close. you looked away as to not make your heart explode, mustering something up to calm yourself down. "w-why are you s-so clo-"

"look at me." he raised your chin with his index finger, directly locking eyes with you. "you aware that you've been driving your captain fuckin' insane ever since you set foot in the victoria?"

you furrowed your brows lightly, looking for any sort of clue in his honey eyes. your mouth was agape, too lost at the situation and too aroused at the proximity between the two of you. "from the way you always oppose me on the littlest things as you measure up to my stubbornness and knock some sense into me, to the way you usher me on to my dream like my pocket-sized cheerleader." he started, hypnotizing you with the fiery burn of his golden orbs; honey swirls swimming in them. "i love you." he placed a kiss on your forehead, down to your nose, to each side of your cheek, before pausing and waiting for the green light to your lips.

"well?" he raised a brow, keeping a milimeter distance away from your lips you could choke physically.

"tease." you replied, pulling him by his collar as you two clash your lips against each other. you wrapped your arms around his neck and he did too around your waist. it went on for a while before you two pulled away to get some air, panting in each other's lips. "your breath stinks of rum."

"as if that doesn't off you." he smirked, playfully tugging at your lower lips between his teeth. "so, what were you gonna say?"

"that i'm nuts about you too." you kissed his cheek. "funny how this whole shit works, right?!"

he threw his head back as he laughed. "all this time i thought i was the only crazy one."

"well, you're not very good at hiding how you like me so much." you teased, poking his cheek.

"shut it and kiss me more." he changed the topic, growling as he nuzzled his face by your neck. grinning as he elicited a little moan from you.

"have i told you how much i love your perfume?" he sucked in a deep breath, buttering your jaw and neck with kisses as the red pigment from his lips spanned further across your skin.

"no i thought you hated it."

"that's code for love, you dumbass." he breathed in your ear, making you giggle. he littered your neck with kisses, reveling at the fits of giggles he kindles from you.

i took this idea from an ao3 fic i read abt todobaku aND I CAN'T FIND IT ANYMORE! but anw i thought it'd be a good idea to incorporate kidd into this hehe. FINALLY FLESHED OUT A FIC IN SO LONG WOO

[blushweddinggowns]

Eddie sighed as Steve fastened the vest around him, still annoyed that he had lost this particular battle. He hadn’t spent a hundred and fifty dollars on the damn thing to go on him. 

“You got it for me against the bats, but now it’s you against the bats. It makes sense.” Steve said for the millionth time, taking Eddie’s sigh as the quiet complaint it was, “Don’t argue with me on this. Again. Does it fit okay? Tell me if it feels like it’s going to slip."

“It’s fine,” Eddie mumbled, the irritation he’d been holding back bleeding through, “It’s completely fine despite the fact I don’t fucking need-”

“Eddie,” Steve interrupted, “Stop. You’re doing the more dangerous thing-”

“Angel, don’t lie to me,” Eddie warned, his eye twitching at the very implication “You wouldn’t be letting Dustin do this shit if that was the case. We don't even know what you're up against.”

“I’m only ‘letting’ him because you’ll be there to keep him safe,” Steve sighed as he stepped back, admiring his own handiwork, “I trust you more than anyone to make sure he’s okay.”

“And who’s going to make sure you are?” Eddie asked.

Steve smiled at him. It was small, frail even. So far below the kind of joyous grins Eddie was used to. But it was real, hopeful. Steve pulled him into a hug, holding him close as he mumbled in his ear, “You will. When all of this is over, I know you’ll make sure I’m okay. Won’t you?”

Eddie couldn’t help but smile a little as he hugged him back, “You know I will. But I still fucking hate this. I don’t like splitting up. ”

“I don’t either,” Steve said softly, “But it won’t be for long, right?”

“Anytime is too long.”

“Sap.”

They were still clinging to each other, despite the fact that they were out of time. 

Everything was set. The set up on the roof, the bikes on each floor, their escape route secured. Even the journalism room was fortified, with one of the two doors blocked. The other, in prime position to be blocked just as easily, assuming that Eddie and Dustin made it back in one piece. The other three were already at the Creel house, waiting for their signal. There was nothing else to wait for. They couldn’t wait. Not when Chrissy was about to risk her fucking life. 

But Eddie still didn’t want to let him go. He never wanted to let him go. 

“It’s going to be fine,” Steve mumbled in his ear, “Just… promise me you’ll run if they start to overwhelm you, okay? Even if we aren’t back yet.”

Eddie nodded, even though it was a damn lie. He would just have to hope everything finished before he got to that point.

“I love you,” Steve murmured, letting his head slump down onto Eddie's shoulder, “So much.”

“I love you more,” Eddie mumbled back, “More than you can ever know.”

Steve nodded against him, fully aware that time was up. Nancy was already calling for him, but if anything the sound made him cling to Eddie harder. He gave him one last long squeeze before pulling back, kissing him quickly as he stepped away.

Eddie watched him and the others go, the anxiety about the whole fucked up situtation coming  back in full force, strong enough to nearly strangle him in it’s intensity. But he didn’t have time to dwell on it. 

Everything after that happened so fast, too fast. Their distraction worked perfectly, every single demon with ears was on their way towards them by the time Eddie had finished playing. They ran straight away, down the steps, down the hallways, with time to spare to block off the other exit in the journalism room. Everything was working. 

The bats themselves were struggling against their makeshift barricades, but there were too many of them to hold them back for long. They would have to leave. And leave soon, if they didn’t want to be completely overwhelmed. 

“You go first,” Eddie panted as he shoved Dustin towards their makeshift rope, his ears picking up on every sound the creaking wood of the old doors made, “Hurry!”

Dustin listened, climbing up and out of this fucked up world while Eddie lingered behind. 

Something was wrong. He knew something was wrong. If Steve and the others had won, then the bats would have already been dead, wouldn’t they? That’s what happened before with the dogs, years ago. They all went down at the same time they finished off the last big bad. 

So if Steve was okay, if they had all made it out, if they had won then they should have all gone down. But they hadn’t. They were alive and well, chomping at the bit to get at them. Which meant… that if he left, if he lost the interest of those same vile creatures, they could easily swarm right back to the house. 

Right back to Steve. Steve who was almost certainly fighting for his own life against God knew what. And that was assuming he was still alive. But… no.

Eddie couldn’t let himself think of the possibility. Steve had to be alive, and if he was alive then Eddie couldn’t risk running away. Not if it meant risking Steve’s life more than he already had. 

And if he wasn’t… then what did Eddie have to lose?

He could hear Dustin yelling at him to follow, the figure of him distorted through the portal. But he didn’t. Instead, Eddie cut the rope clean off, cutting off any way for Dustin to follow him on his impromptu suicidal plan. 

He could hear Dustin screaming at him, asking what the fuck he was doing. He didn’t have time to answer, not when the wood was straining underneath the weight of hundreds of monsters. Instead, he skidded towards the other door, pushing away the original furniture they had used to block it. The vast majority of the bats were concentrated towards where they saw them enter the room, their animalistic nature giving Eddie the slight advantage he needed. 

He didn’t look back when he bursted out of the room, he couldn’t bear to see the look on Dustin’s face. Instead, he sped down the hallway, listening to the trashing of wings hitting each other, all of them so desperate to get at him that they kept knocking each other to the ground. 

But they were following, all of them by the sounds of it. He didn’t look back,  instead he kept peddling, praying to any god out there that they would just fucking die already. 

But they didn’t. No, they were alive and well as they pursued him. He made it to the gym before the first one caught up, biting down hard into his calf. Hard enough for him to finally crash off the bike and topple to the floor. 

Everything was a blur after that, a pain filled blurr of screaming. 

It took a minute before they started tearing through the kevlar of the vest. If anything, most of them were focusing on it instead of the open parts of his body, almost like they were desperate to get to the shit inside of him that made him tick.

 Eddie couldn’t help but deliriously think that it was a fucked up instinct. The little assholes. But they had won, he felt it as they started to eat into him, no doubt sending his body into shock. 

Until it stopped. Suddenly, they were all going limp around him, the rows of teeth in his side staying embedded, but unmoving. He could barely feel the pain anymore by the time it happened.

Eddie laid there, breathing hard as he felt himself bleed out. He tried to move, tried to stand, but his body wouldn’t let him. Instead he was frozen, laying on the ground as he waited for an end he never wanted. 

He didn’t know if he did the right thing. Chances were, he’d never know. Everything was fading fast, too fast. Fast enough for Eddie to not even realize Dustin was in the room with him, not until he was lifting his head into his lap, his panicked voice cutting through the fog in his own head.

“E-Eddie?! Eddie, can you hear me?!”

Eddie nodded, his eyes feeling heavier by the moment. But he could see Dustin, Dustin who was already crying above him.

Eddie tried to smile at him, “Hey, Bud.”

“Don’t fucking bid me!” Dustin screeched, panicked hands working to try and stop the bleeding, “Why the fuck did you do that!?”

Eddie knew exactly why he did it. Eddie did it because he was a piece of shit, all the way to the end. 

Because he didn’t die to save Steve. He knew that. It wasn’t just to be his savior. Eddie was selfish when it came to Steve, worse than he could ever imagine. That prick of uncertainty, the vagueness of not knowing whether he was alive or dead, was all Eddie had needed. 

He was never going to risk a world without Steve in it. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Not if ever given the choice.

So he made his choice. He just didn’t have the chance to explain it all. Not now. He had more important things to say anyway, 

Eddie swallowed, his voice coming out weak, but there, “Tell Steve, I love him.”

Dustin shook his head, hard and fast, “Don’t fucking do this to us! You can’t do this!”

“Tell him he was everything to me,” Eddie went on, “T-Tell him that he deserves a good life. Make him promise to live it.”

“Tell him yourself!”

“Tell him I’m sorry,” Eddie finished quietly, the words barely escaping his mouth, “I’m so sorry.” 

It was… horrifyingly insufficient. No words would make this better. Nothing that could be said would make any of this hurt less. It was so fucking awful. Part of Eddie couldn't believe he was doing this to Steve, leaving him all alone. Every promise he’d ever made to him, broken in an instant. 

It was too heavy, too horrible. Nearly enough for him to wish that he would die faster, just to get away from it. And it seemed his wish was being granted. 

He felt cold, too cold. It wasn’t the pain. He could barely feel it anymore, his body surely going into shock.

This was really it. 

He was going to die here.

from the newest chapter of this fic

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Jang Wonyoung Perspective Reading

Disclaimer: No facts, just interpretation of the cards and messages I get.

I still wanted to get through my favorite male Kpop idols before I dive into any girl group members, but she was on my radar and she is known as a controversial Kpop figure, be it good or bad, she is talked about and sought after, so thought I get to her. So, of course the song Barbie Girl by Aqua came up for me. On the surface she can be depicted as such. In Korea she is the standard of what people would like to look like whether you agree or not. I do feel there could be more to her story. I hope it isn't as creepy as I think it may be, but we'll see, now to the cards.

Okay, well, this may go the route I was expecting. There is a lot of shame and guilt she feels. She got both the cards of gilded regret and down cast pride. This could be due to hate comments she gets. She may also get comments by people around her that make her feel like shit. Now with the is this me card, she doesn't particularly know who she is. Has she got plastic surgery? It is like she has no sense of self and maybe looks at herself and doesn't know who she is. She is molded to how they wanted her to be. Man, the Barbie Girl reference makes even more sense. She is just confused as to who she really is. There are things she has regretting doing and that she feels shame in. Now with this Bride in a Cage card, the person on the card is rather thin and frail, kind of a shell of themselves, practically dead inside. She may never feel good enough. I am getting the message body dysmorphia from the card, just the messenger, not saying she has it. It is like she thinks about is this really the direction I want to go. She has kind of morphed into their puppet is what I am getting. It is like she is a clone of herself. Who she was she isn't anymore and who she is now, she isn't sure, like she asks herself who am I? What do I think? She isn't sure.

There is like an inner battle with herself. This unwillingness to accept part of herself, probably more so her flaws. She fights anything that goes against her image, not sure what that means exactly. I can also see this card as people fighting for her attention. She prefers the solitude and being alone away from all the distractions. She can pretty much be a loner. There is a secure base she has made for herself, to keep her safe, she does her best to keep to her image. She does not want to fail, look weak, or show any cracks. There is a sense of forgiveness she has for others for maybe what they have done or said to her. I say she is more forgiving to them then maybe herself. Well, the card I didn't want to come out, but was expecting to come out was the traumatized card and that came out. I got hints of this in the Dark Mirror reading. She dealt with some sort of trauma, now is it the mean comments, the surgery she may have to go through, or some sort of abuse, not sure I want to go there. She is trying not to get angry, upset or frustrated about what has been done to her, but to rise above and keep her cool. I have to take deep breaths during this reading, because I am getting what I expected and I wanted to be wrong, now I still can be, but energetically, something is off here. I just want to say when someone gets traumatized, they tend to dissociate to help move on and not relive the past or situation. Like I am getting that wasn't me, that was someone else, this is kind of a coping strategy, this is what I am sensing, no facts.

Okay, love these cards here. I wanted to see a bit more positivity here. She has a strong divine feminine energy. Is she follows her intuition and connect with her spirituality and use her creative energy she can very move through this and gain success in her own right. She may be already doing this. She seems to be spiritually guided and protected at the moment that can help guide her in the right direction. There is something good for her to come out of her terrible past and things she may have faced. As long as she keeps kindness in her heart and communicates from the heart and does not allow this to harden her or make her into a villain, so what I am getting is you know how victims can being villains and repeat the cycle. This tells her to keep kindness within her, so she doesn't turn into that in whatever form that it would be for her. Like she can go on a path to being very nasty and cruel to others, possibly a bully, but she doesn't have to go down that path, hurt people do hurt others, but it doesn't have to be that way. She can break that cycle.

There is some spiritual growth she needs to and can learn from what has happened in her career. She may have had to face the challenges she has to obtain the growth she needs on a personal/spiritual level, but if she dealt with any sort of trauma/abuse not a great lesson to learn as a human. On a spiritual level it makes sense, but no one wants that on a human level, that is a terrible experience to go through. Her life mission is to gain spiritual lessons through her work. Now with this House 8 card, the keywords on the cards are about transformation and Karma. I read it as transforming Karma, so whatever karma she may have, she can transform it and break that chain of cycle.

Both these card numbers come to 11 from this spread. 10 is a closing of a cycle, so I see 11 as a new chapter and beginning for her. To release the old cycle and start new. They are asking her to trust things as they are and that things will align itself for her. To trust that things will work out for her. To kind of look at the big picture. They kind of, I say they, because I sense this is more guidance from the collective/guides, even though she won't see this, they may want us to know lol It is like they want her to look at this from a spiritual perspective to look to why it happened for her, but no to her, very hard to do that on a human level though. They are asking her to be more gentle, soft and kind, once again, to not get too hardened, cold and harsh from what she experienced. Okay, walking in circles here, now ended it with Tarot.

Okay, this 5 of Swords is very telling, a lot of keywords here, so she may be falling for the trap of being cruel to others, or this is done to her, or it is cycle. The keywords on this card are argumentative, hurtful comments, conflict with others, avoidant, challenging to be around and pushes others away. I feel these all apply to her. I feel she tends to keep her distance as much as possible, but can get triggered and say mean things, but this can also be done to her. See, now with the Libra energy, this is like the opposite energy, a need to please others, do what they are told. I can also get the vibe with certain Libra's is that they don't really know who they are, they kind of mold themselves to what other people want them to be. I can see that with her. So, on one end she could say hurtful things, but she always finds a way to make peace, she may be the one to always apologize, even if she isn't in the wrong. Now with the Queen of Pentacles, she is successful and abundant in her own right. Her career is very important to her. She values her career. This may be something she puts above anything else. She would do anything to hold tight to what she has and what she earned. There is a nurturing and giving aspect to her as well. I feel this woman earned and worked hard for what she has achieved and has been through a lot of shit to get there, so I give props to her for that.

Okay, that went how I expected it, of course the first parts were a bit hard, but there were some highlights here. I just hope she works on healing and listens to the guidance to be gentler towards herself and others. Happy I did this, quite fascinating.

[creedslove]

HEARTLESS 💔 - PART SIX

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels) x f!reader

Summary: your weekend on the ranch continues, as Wyatt enjoys every single aspect of it, the tension between you and Jack increases

(this is the sixth part of the HEARTLESS 💔 series)

• PART ONE| PART TWO| PART THREE| PART FOUR| PART FIVE

Warnings: asshole!jack, angst, hurt, fluff (because Wyatt is soooo cute), mom!reader

A/N: oh besties, I don't know what to do to Jack honestly. He just can't get one single thing right. He opens his heart, only to make things wrong again, I love him, but it's getting tiring

2.4k words

Jack gripped his cheek as it burned and looked at you in pure shock and awe. He had no idea a frail little thing like yourself - as he envisioned you when it came to physical confrontation - but he'd be damned as your hand was heavy. You panted heavily as you wiped your lips and groaned 

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Jack?" You roared at him, tears filling your eyes as you felt yourself anxious and hurt, that was just how little he thought of you: that he would offer you shelter for the weekend in exchange of fucking you. Over your dead body. 

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? I kissed you, it was an act of affection and you slapped me? Fuck you!" 

"No, fuck you, Jack Daniels because you have been treating me like shit ever since you walked back into my life, you make sure to tell me every single time you hate me, you even told me to my face you never loved me, so now you think I'll let you kiss me just because you probably got a little horny? Why don't you leave $50 on the nightstand so I can have the full hooker experience?" You hissed, seeing he was angry at your refusal, even if he had no right to be angry. 

Jack placed his hand on his hips and sighed deeply licking his lips softly and feeling a pang on his chest as they tasted like you 

"I was trying to do something nice to you, figured you deserved some attention, after all pregnancy was rough on you, and it's not every guy who's gonna look at you now" he regretted his words as soon as they came out of his lips, he could tell he went too far and the worst was that it wasn't even true, he just wanted to hurt you because you hurt his pride and ego by refusing him. 

You couldn't believe his words, he was such a pig, and you didn't even think before raising your hand and aiming for his cheek once more, you knew Jack deserved more than that, but you had never thrown a punch and you didn't even know if you could do it correctly, but he was faster catching your fist before you could hit him. 

"Careful sugar, you are becoming a feisty little bit-" 

"Don't call me a bitch, you wouldn't do that to your late wife, would you? Why are you doing this to me?" You raised your voice, not hiding all the hurt in it as he softened up for a while, letting go of your arm 

"Don't talk about her, Y/N" he warned "you know damn well why I wouldn't call her that…" his tone was low but it carried so much anger and hurt, he knew he had crossed the line with you, but he thought you'd come back to your senses instead of dragging his wife into the middle of it. 

"Yeah? Then go back to your grieving and leave me and my son alone" you spat at him and rushed out of the bedroom, finding Wyatt wandering through the home mesmerized. To him it was a big adventure and he felt the need to explore, he couldn't wait to start playing and didn't understand why his mommy and the cowboy were taking too long, so when he saw his mommy, his face lit up, being too caught up in his innocent excitement to see how sad she was 

"Can we pway mommy?" He asked adorably and giggled as she picked him up, so happy to finally be able to go outside as you crossed the big living room and went out the door, but Wyatt frowned as soon as he realized they were heading towards the car, and not the green fields. His little heart sank as he didn't want to go home just yet, he wanted to play with his friend cowboy. 

"Mommy no go home, pwease" he asked in a whimper but you didn't seem to have listened, so he tried again, louder this time, asking you not to go home. You didn't say anything else, expecting him to calm down as your son had always been such a calm and sweet child but when he started crying and begging you to stay, you didn't know what was happening to your sweet Wyatt, he was just having a meltdown in your arms, shaking his head and bawling as he didn't want to leave. If only he was a little older and you could explain him why you two shouldn't stay for any other minute at that house. 

"Cowboy, pwease!!!" Wyatt wailed and felt a tiny hope in his chest as Jack rushed outside immediately "don't wet mommy take me, pwease" he cried and you could only feel Jack taking your son into his arm.

You looked back at him with so much anger and you were willing to fight for your son, but the way he wrapped his arms around his father's neck and breathed a sigh of relief to be away from you shattered your heart. 

Of course Wyatt preferred his dad. 

You sniffed as you looked at them "come with mommy, my love" you extended your arms at him but Wyatt turned away, hiding his face from you just like he did when he didn't like someone.

You bit your lips as you felt so hurt and rejected at that moment, you knew it wasn't his fault, he was a toddler, he didn't know the context of that situation and especially not the weight of his actions. 

"Alright then" you whispered and looked down, walking towards the stable at a fast pace, there was at least one creature that wouldn't treat you badly in that place. 

Helen was deeply upset to have witnessed the scene, she hated to see you so heartbroken and also Wyatt crying like that and she was also sure it had all to do with Jack. She wished she could yell at him, grab him by the shoulders and shake him until he got into his senses, but unfortunately she couldn't. He was a grown man even if he didn't act like one, he should be responsible for his actions.

She walked behind him, smiling at Wyatt and wiping his tears, "come see the dogs with me, they love to be petted" Helen offered, intending to take him to the kitchen first and get him a glass of water so he could calm down. Jack immediately got the hint and rubbed his son's back gently, up and down "it's okay Wyatt, mommy's just a little stressed, let's watch the dogs and other animals before we find her? I ain't letting you go home today buddy, you and mama are staying the whole weekend, got it?" He assured his son, who smiled softly and snuggled him, feeling so comfortable and safe in his arms.

                         •••

You spent a long time in the stables, not sure how long exactly but it was definitely hours, judging by how famished you felt as you fed those lovely animals. You've always loved horses, always seeing them in movies, on TV and on the internet, and you always liked what they looked like and how strong and yet gentle they could be; your passion for them really sprung when you started dating Jack and he introduced you to his horses. You remembered being dumbfounded to know he actually owned horses and it also made you come to the realization he had money, not that his overall lifestyle in the city and his ranch weren't enough evidence of it, but you've always heard horses were really expensive to own and take care of, and if there was something you couldn't accuse Jack Daniels of, was not taking care of his horses. 

He was so gentle with them, patient, and he showed you the best way to approach and feed them and of course, brush them. And once he realized you loved doing such things, he let you do it. You did it almost every day, until Jack came home with a young mare he bought at a very cheap price because the owner was going to put her down, as she had been born with a problem on the hoof which caused her pain to run and she absolutely refused her. He was a softie at heart and bought her, knowing maybe you would like her. 

And you fell in love with her beautiful gray fur and how sweet she was, so Jack was amused when you named her Silver Pony - like his jet. 

You would spend so long with Silver Pony, telling her everything about your life and about your relationship with Jack. She was like a friend to you - and you addressed her with human pronouns, because she meant so much to you. And she seemed to understand you too, she showered you with affection and so much understanding coming from her sweet eyes. Even before you found out Wyatt was nothing more than a small bean inside of you, Silver Pony would greet you by gently rubbing her face against your womb, sniffing it gently and making you giggle. 

The way you loved that horse, made Jack fall in love with you even more at the time you were together and that was why he knew you'd rush to your old friend after what happened. So he took Wyatt on a tour through the ranch, not without gifting him a stetson hat specially made for his son first and then leaving the stables for last, so you would have enough time to see Silver Pony and spend time with her until you were calm. In the meantime, Jack's heart melted at how cute his son, Wyatt, was the happiest he'd ever seen, watching the animals and being able to touch some of them. He liked chirping at the birds and giggled when he saw chicken because he thought they were so funny. 

Then, Helen met them near the lake with a basket full of sandwiches and other yummy things. After what she'd witnessed, she thought it was better to replace lunch for a picnic and hoped maybe you would join them for dinner, as she had prepared your favorite. 

As Wyatt chewed his sandwich calmly he looked up at Jack with sad little eyes "whewe's mommy? I miss mommy, cowboy" Jack's heart sank at his son's puppy eyes and wiped the crumbles from his hand before ruffing his hair "mommy is spending time with a special friend of hers, she's by the stable I'm sure and I'm also sure you'll love mommy's friend" he said with a sweet smile and could feel Helen's burning gaze on him. If Jack were the kind of man to blush, he would be blushing right now. Wyatt came closer and leaned his body against Jack's side, sighing softly.

"You know, your mommy was my… friend… and she used to live here with me for a few years, she was a lot of fun and I miss her" he said "but I was mean to her and even when I try to be nice to her, I end up being mean" 

He frowned softly and looked up at him 

"Why mean? Wyatt no wike mean" he said and waited for an answer as Jack swallowed 

"Sometimes we behave bad even when we don't want to, right?" He watched as his son nodded "but your mama is a wonderful woman, and I love her just as I love you, Wyatt" the boy wrapped his small arms around the cowboy's big body and snuggled him tight "I wove you too cowboy" he said innocently and Helen teared up as she witnessed the moment, she wished so hard you could be there to see that scene and hear Jack's honest words, it was a heartfelt moment and she felt upset you had missed it. 

Jack hugged Wyatt tight and kissed the top of his head, handing him his small stetson which he put it on excitedly and watched as Jack gathered the food and placed it back inside the basket "why don't we take these to the stables and have another picnic with mommy? She's probably hungry too" he suggested and saw as Wyatt nodded excitedly and quickly helped the cowboy to gather the food. 

You were stroking Silver Pony's face as she stood next to you and smiled sadly the moment you spotted Jack and Wyatt walking side by side. You could see they were so similar and especially with the stupid hat on, even if your son looked too cute, it was still a reminder of who his father was. 

When Wyatt saw you and the mare, he rushed to you, opening his arms and throwing himself into your arms "mommy!!!" He squealed and looked at you "I sowy mommy, I didn't want to make you cwy" Your heart shattered at how sweet your son was and you only held him tight, caressing his soft cheek and shook your head "I know baby, it's okay, and mommy is also sorry she made you cry" you said and kissed his forehead, loving how welcoming his small embrace was. 

Jack shyly cleared his throat and showed you the basket 

"We brought you some food, sug- I mean, Y/N" he opened it and began taking out the sandwiches, bottles of juice and cake "you must be hungry" he added hesitantly and you nodded "thank you" you said politely and grabbed a sandwich, taking a big bite out of it and Jack felt another ounce of guilt for making you starve like that, though you barely looked at him, instead you smiled at your son "honey, mommy wants you to meet Silver Pony" you told him and got up, taking his small hand and guiding him to the beautiful mare. Wyatt was mesmerized and jumped in excitement, he couldn't believe how beautiful and nice that horse was to him and immediately hugged her

"I wove you, I wove you, I wove you" he squealed at Silver Pony, never wanting to let go of her. 

Jack also got up, taking a few steps closer and stood next to you 

"Y/N, I want to talk to you… I want to apologize, really apologize, I don't know if there will ever be a forgiveness for leaving you and our son, and even if it did, I know I don't deserve it, but I do want to apologize for being so cruel to you… maybe after Wyatt goes to bed you could talk to me?" He asked, as you swallowed and looked at him "I spent the whole day crying because you can't go by ten minutes without offending me, Jack… do you think you can just give me your puppy eyes and I'll forgive you? Don't try to fix things, you don't care about me, you never loved me, you told me that yourself, just let me be and make it through this weekend so I can go back home with my son" you told him and walked towards Wyatt, the two of you showering Silver Pony in love and affection, as Jack watched the two of you at a small distance but feeling a complete outcast from your lives.

____

A/N: I don't know about you besties, but my heart is a little broken now 💔

[themulitipurposechannel]

Dynamics: Part 2, <Next!>

For Apocalypse F! Mikey: Now see Uncle Tello content is great and I love it. But consider this, it’s alr everywhere AND think bout Master Michelangelo /Uncle Mi/ lowkey unspoken Dad!Mikey supremacy ✨👀 think bout uncle Mi being the warm/comforting/ steadying presence that Cj clung to when Leo and April are stuck being the sole two pillars of leadership for the entirely of sentient life on earth and Donnie is off doing his mad scientist things(No hate to D but we know our boi has low empathy and tends to get hyper fixated to the point he ignores everyone. Not that he wouldn’t absolutely try for Junior cuz he would but ya know what I mean) which leaves the Mikey cuz our poor Raphie and Casey Sr died early.

Like Cmon guys hear me out Mike alr has Dr feelings and his ole mediator shtick. you can’t tell me that as he grew and matured it didn’t not grew stronger. Plus he defo Leaned into the whole mediator thing esp with the apocalypse cuz someone defo needed to be the calm mediator in the chaos that was the kraang. Plus he was ALR the most mentally/emotionally stable out of all the fam and a child in a chaotic environment (cough the apocalypse cough) is gonna unconsciously gravitate towards that. And mikey being mikey is then absolutely gonna white knuckle his “I’m emotionally healthy” even more cuz we got a kid now. We gotta make sure he grows up with SMTH.

Plus I like to think everyone had diff roles in raising Cj. Eg: Cj spends time with tello if he wants to hang out and blow shit up or wants to brainstorm tangible solutions. but if he needs/wants emotional support or emotional safety he goes to Mikey and if he wants all of the above plus advice in general it’s Leo and Comander April lmao (but 7/10 times it’s Leo). Side note: Before Raph died he and mikey used to tag team M’s role and April’s role was formerly Cassandra’s but welp we all know what happened 😭. Also I just wanna make it clear that these roles weren’t always hard and fast rule. It’s just generally the common status quo but was still subject to change depending on the circumstances cuz ppl are ppl and ppl are complex. Like if Cj was feeling particularly scared for Dee or April’s mortality I can guarantee he glomped them. And they let him.

Edit: In any case, their dynamic is basically all round calm, slow and cozy vibes. Cuz like I said, Mikey was acting as Cj’s living sentient equivalent of a warm, weighted blanket. Plus mystic overuse/cursed aging gave Mikey a lot of chronic fatigue and plus Mi leaning hard into the whole mediator thing rlly made him mellow out esp when he had to be responsible for a kid. So most of their hanging out was either sitting around talking about their day, making up stories bout random objects they found like ‘I bet that cup has a chip in cuz an alligator got it’ ,Cj ranting, mystic training, lots and lots of snuggles or (big shocker I know) Mikey reading to Cj (don’t Judge Cj, he finds Uncle’s Mi voice calming. And as tor Mikey, options are limited when you’re old, physically frail and in an apocalypse) or them reading whatever they can find in comfy silence with the occasional comment of ‘man this character is so stupid’ and ‘I know right!’ Or ‘im pretty sure this accident report is faked.’ Also In the earlier days when resources weren’t so scarce and Mikey had more energy they used to draw on the walls tgt using chalk but well.. stuff like that don’t last very long in the apocalypse.

.

For Past/present time: Once Cj starts to properly distinguish between future and present and feels a little more ready to start properly interacting with P!fam. He starts to build a stable relationship with Mikey. their dynamic is one of more equal standing cuz of the lack of age difference aka the big theme for this dynamic is all abt growing up tgt. This creates a more free and unrestrained dynamic where both feel more encouraged/safe to try new things cuz they don’t have to worry bout any hovering from any older siblings (sorry Leo he tries but even he can’t fully escape the big brother instincts even towards Case. Which is hilarious cuz Cj is the most self sufficient out of everyone XD ) and cuz they don’t have to worry bout looking stupid in front said older siblings if they fail/ being coddled if they fail. Initially it was a very big whiplash for Casey to adjust to the fact that someone he used to look for answers/ be a pillar was just as clueless as he was AND the fact he could freely argue back with said someone due to the lack of age difference.

But once both parties settled in, they have alot of fun just being kids and messing around. Honestly their dynamic is adorable. With Mikey’s more adventurous and more hopeful personality helping Cj start to relax a little more and start acting more like the 15 year old he is. And Cj’s more serious and sensible mindset helps Mikey become a little more thoughtful/cautious as he’s more open to Cj’s criticism cuz it feels alot less condescending than the rest of the fam due to the age similarity.

This dynamic also plays a part in Cj’s adjustment to the past. Due to said adventurous behaviour, Mike always wants to show Cj new things. And his emotionally intuitive nature helps him pick up when Cj is uncomfortable but doesn’t always feel comfortable saying it or can just generally quickly pick up the warning signs of a trigger. So after some trial and error Mikey gets pretty good at knowing when to push and pull Case out of his comfort zone or just out right cancel an outing cuz Dr feelings can sense the ensuing panic attack/ PTSD triggers. Which Casey rlly appreciates. On the flip side, Cj is the biggest advocate (second to Leo) for letting Mikey do his thing cuz he knows what Mikey is capable off and isn’t blinded with older sibling instincts. Which Mikey greatly appreciates. We stan mutually supportive siblings.

And as the youngest, they both bond (mostly Miguel talks, Cj listens oh how the tables turn) over how frustrating it is to see the rest of their family (for Cj it’s him using his experience with F!Fam to relate to P!Mikey cuz the P!Fam don’t rlly baby Casey the same way/the obvious extent they do for Miguel. For Mikey, it’s more they water down info either intentionally/unintentionally or try to stop him from doing stuff cuz they want to protect him. And for Cj, it’s more them trying to be extra subtly careful of his sore spots. Like Legit cuz of Cj, everyone at some point had independently googled ‘how to care for war-torn ptsd riddled relative’ and ‘how to help someone with material insecurity issues’ or ‘how to support someone going thru bereavement’. For once it wasn’t only Mike reading psych stuff lmao) trying to water things down for them like dums dums XD.

They also tag team the rest of their family with the combined powers of their puppy dog eyes and shared status as “baby’s of the family” to get out of trouble/get what they want like the gremlins they are 😂. Generally when hanging out they’re either doing things action driven stuff (a stark contrast to F!Mikey and Cj. Cuz P!Mikey is younger, less traumatised and hasn’t been peepawed) like graffiti (Mikey sprays full on masterpieces and Cj loves spraying colourful doodles cuz he’s delighted to play with all sorts of bright colours and see the pretty art Anglo makes that Cj didn’t have the luxuary of seeing in the apocalypse, so despite the huge skill gap, which is rapidly becoming smaller, they still have fun tgt), skateboarding, playing video games, parkour or Mikey kidnapping Cj to show/get him to try smth he didn’t get to do in the apocalypse, *cough the occasional arson cough* Like I said they’re awesome lmao

On a side note: both Cj and Mikey are very happy to have a cool brother/friend who is the same age as them. For Cj it’s cuz fellow kids were very rare back in his time. Meaning the kids that were round him were either much older or much younger so same age friends is very much a novel experience lmao. As for Mikey, although he does call Cj baby brother( he doesn’t actually enforce that unless in certain situations like Cj in distress or trying to get Cj to do Miguel’s part of chores lmao) most of the time he’s happy to not be alone in his age grp of family/friends cuz it can get a little lonely sometimes. Raph, April and Casey have each other, Donnie and Leo have each other and now Mikey and Cj have each other! Yaayyy

[sunwarmed-ash]

WIP Thursday/[Sinful Sunday post??]

hey so im gonna be taking time off writing for another job all next week so I'm posting this so you have something to read. DONT WORRY Sinful Sunday will continue, I'll just be busy this sunday and next making that capitalist coin!

This may turn into a fic, it may not. I wrote it right after I finished QAF for the 36th time.

Tags: Angsty steddiegrove, sex work, HIV+ character, violence

"Where do you go at night?"

Steve and Eddie are lying on Steve’s bed smoking weed when Steve asks the question that will inevitably change the course of their relationship, their future, forever. 

"What," Eddie asks, trying and failing for aloof. He thought he had been so careful. 

“You sneak out, every night. Where do you go, when you leave?"

Lying is the only probable next course of action. If he wants to keep Steve in his life that is. The truth will sever everything they once had. 

“Dealing doesn’t exactly fit a normal 9-5," Eddie says. It’s a half-lie. 

"You were selling drugs in Lafayette at 3 in the morning? Do you think I’m stupid," Steve snaps.

Eddie’s entire body flashes hot with the amount of detail in that accusation.  

"What? No! Wait, how did you- hang on, have you been spying on me?"

"Answer the question Eddie!"

Eddie feels cornered, and that’s never a good place for him to be. Because when he feels trapped, he lies, and he can’t stop. He will say anything to cover his ass, even if its just to survive to see another minute. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you..."

Steve scoffs at Eddie’s attempt at self ownership. 

"Why can’t you tell me, Eddie? I mean, after everything we’ve been through!”

Eddie bites into his tongue. He wishes it was that easy. God, does he wish it could be that simple...  

“i can't, not with everything baby. I'm sorry.” 

“Why not?” Steve demands and now he’s angry. His eyes are lined with tears and Eddie can feel the beginning of the end coming like an approaching storm. 

“Because you won't love me anymore.” 

It’s the truth. And Eddie hates to even hear the words out loud. Because its gonna hurt so bad to hear it twice. From Steve’s lips. The soundbite will live with him for eternity. 

“Isn't that for me to decide,” Steve objects. 

“You've already decided.” 

Eddie remembers the shit Harrington pulled on Wheeler when she hurt his frail male ego by just existing in the same space as another man. He remembers the hateful way Steve spits the word ‘whore’ because he associates it with his father and all of his sins. It’s how everyone says the word. Like its poison in their mouth. 

Slut. Hooker. Whore. But that's what Eddie is. Until he can find something that pays better. Because he has to eat. He and Wayne won’t survive an Indiana winter without heat. And after Eddie was banished and then half-heartedly rewelcome into a unstable healing community, no one in Hawkins treats him the same. Weed sales have dried up. No one wants to hire him for any job. Not even the mechanic shop down the street that is desperately understaffed and Eddie is overqualified for. So what the hell else is he supposed to do? Wayne just turned 68. He shouldn’t need to work 12 hour shifts just to barely support the kid he didn't ask for in the first place. Eddie never should have been his burden. So this is Eddie’s way of giving back. Pulling his own weight so he didn't feel so much like a goddamn freeloader all the time. But could Steve understand that? Steve wasn’t stupid, but he also wasn’t, lets say as morally flexible as some other people.

"I can't- do this Eddie... If you’re going to lie to me." Steve says and one look into his eyes and Eddie feels what's left of the tie between them sever. 

"I'm not lying," He insists but its a half truth at best. 

"You're not telling me everything, that counts," Steve all but shouts. 

"You don't tell me everything."

He referring to whatever the hell went on between Hargrove and him two years ago. Eddie and Steve arent the only people different after an apocalypse. Their previous heated rivalry has all but burned out. So has Hargroves own personal brand of anger. They move around each other like chess pieces, always conscious of the others movement to limit interactions at school. But after school? Eddie’s seen Billy’s camero parked at Harrington’s more than it's parked in the trailer park. 

"That's different Eddie,” Steve huffs, scoffs as he pushes his hair back. “and you know it."

"How, how is it different Steve?" Eddie’s never brought it up before tonight. Eddie’s never been one for exclusivity, why the hell should he expect Steve to be?

"It doesn't involve you, or us. This does."

"Right,” Eddie scoffs, “Well, for argument's sake, it is safer for you not to know. For both of us."

Steve is silent for three beats too long.

Here it comes. 

Eddie can’t look at him. His face goes numb before the words can hit his ears. 

"Then you have my answer Eddie.”

It still hits him like a slap in the face. Steve’s done with him. And it hurts so much more than he anticipated it would. 

Eddie knew it was only a matter of time. He knew what Steve wanted in the end, and it was still someone more like Wheeler. A sweetheart. A family. Nothing Eddie can guarantee. Eddie doesn’t have much to say in his defense. So he doesn’t. 

"I'm sorry Eddie,” Steve, obviously uncomfortable in the silence, speaks again. “This is just, too much for me right now.”

"Okay,” comes out of Eddie’s numb mouth, even if it's the complete opposite. 

Eddie knew a clean break now would eventually be better than enduring their relationship fizzling out slowly. But it doesn't mean the inevitable failure of one more relationship doesn't hurt.

-two months later-

“Munson?”

Eddie blinks, of all the people to find him, here, he didn't think it would be Californian transplant, and fellow trailer trash bad boy Billy Hargrove from Hawkins. He just wants to disappear into the pavement. 

Eddie’s feet move to sprint, but Billy’s lighting reflexes catch him before he can. 

“Where the hell are you going now, Eddie?”

Eddie rips away from him. He hates the way his name sounds out loud. He hadn’t felt like ‘Eddie’ in weeks. He’s barely felt like anything. More like Nothing and no one. A nameless face in a sea of sex workers, businessmen, and bar patrons that he cycled through every day. 

“It’s none of your damn business,” Eddie spits, though it doesn't have much venom. He doesn't have the energy. He's sick, he’s cold, and he’s so fucking tired. He still has two more clients he can’t blow off tonight if he wants to have a prayer at ever getting unburied under his last hospital bill. Billy Hargrove and Hawkins and all that past shit is his lowest priority.  

“People are worried man,” Billy says, stopping Eddie from taking more than a step away. “Wayne especially. Don't you give a shit about him?”

Now Eddie is pissed, because who the fuck did Billy Hargrove think he was, telling him about what he should do? Talking to him about Wayne. As if he understood a goddamn thing about their lives! His anger flairs up his cough that only aggravates the pneumonia-scarred tissue and then Eddie’s coughing so hard it nearly knocks him over. 

When Billy moves close to ‘help’ Eddie slaps him off. 

“Everything I’m doing is for him! You don’t fucking know shit, Billy! How could you, you're just a kid!”

And while Billy was 17 and Eddie was 6 months into his 23rd lap around the earth, he felt so much older. His tragic sequence of life events had aged him decades. He’d be lucky to make it to 24 at this rate. 

Billy watches him curiously, putting together pieces Eddie doesnt mean him to. 

“Why did you take off Eddie?” 

“Why do you care?” Eddie doesn’t really think it's concern he sees in Billy's features. 

“Wayne doesn't have anyone else. You scared the shit out of him when you left.”

“Oh and what, you two are bffs now,” Eddie asks bitterly. 

Billy shrugged. 

“We've been spending a lot of time together, yeah.”

Eddie scoffs wetly. Fantastic. Now even Wayne has his own Eddie replacement. A better, nicer son. If Wayne didn’t need him anymore, well, he didn’t have any more ties back to Hawkins. He should be relieved, but instead he just feels empty. Forgotten. Unwanted. Billy had said people missed him, but the only name he offered up was Wayne’s.  

Eddie sniffs up the tears threatening to spill and reaches into his jacket. He takes out the seven hundred dollars and change he’s managed to squirrel away after his last AZT prescription refill and holds it out to Billy. 

“What is this?” Billy looks at the wad like its poisoned, and well, he's not entirely wrong, it's certainly dirty money. But its still green. And that’s all the world runs on. And speaking of money, the man he was currently scheduled to suck off is honking at him from across the parking lot, eyeing Billy with violent intent. Eddie needed to move quick before this escalated. 

“I’m not coming back. T-To Hawkins, I mean. I can’t, so I need you to give this to Wayne for me. Can I trust you to get it to him?”

Billy finally takes the money, counts it, and then his jaw drops. 

“There’s over seven hundred dollars here Eddie.”

“I know,” Eddie sighs dejectedly. “It should have been more but,” but you got stupid and believed some pretty, coked-up twink instead of following your gut. And now you get to live with the weight of that decision, forever… “It doesn’t matter. Just, please make sure he gets it. It should cover the next few payments on the trailer.”

Billy looks at him for a long time. 

“What the hell have you been doing Munson?”

Eddie scoffs before the car horn across the street blares loud, startling him right out of his skin. 

“Nothing you want to know about. Just please make sure he gets it, and knows, I’m sorry. For all of it.”

Billy’s eyes lower suspiciously. 

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Eddie shrugs.

“Because it has to be.” Eddie can’t feel anything below his neck anymore. The honk is starting up again. He’s really pushing his luck now. 

“Eddie, come on,” Hargrove begs and why does it sound like he’s actually pleading? Billy’s never had a nice word to say to him or Steve. And now he’s gone for what, a few weeks, and his enemy wants to become best friends? He doesn’t understand this plotline. He’s ready to get out of it. 

“I’m gotta go, Billy. Please, look out for Wayne.”

Eddie leaves the very next minute and sprints across the street, just narrowly avoiding being hit by the semi that blasts his horn.

[come-on-darling-honey]

stupid and heartbroken. [Embry Call x reader]

 You and Leah Clearwater have something in common, heartbreak and a inclining to stupid decisions. Slowly you and Leah find the secrets of the Reservation that took your best friend, Embry, slowly unravel themselves to you. But not without a little blood, tears, and love.   

word count; 2.5k

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE

     Chapter three: explanations at Emily’s.

Embry, Bella and I rode in the front of the truck. I sat between them. Bella and Embry made light conversation. Jared was in the back; I could imagine how it felt to have the wind gliding across him. It’d be better than having Embry and Bella stuffed in next to me, my thighs touching Embry’s.

“Drive me home.” I said, my throat dry. I didn’t want to go to Emily’s. I wanted to go home. I didn’t want any part of this. “Or take me to Leah’s.”

Embry’s voice was soft as he told me that Emily’s house was safe and that they needed to explain to me what I saw. Bella assured me too. I didn’t want any part of this. I looked at Embry, he had deep circles under his eyes. His posture frail and his nails had obviously been bitten. He looked horrible, a small part of me was bitter that he deserved to feel like shit. That it wasn’t fair what he did. But an even smaller part of me felt a hallow ache within my heart. That ache grew bigger as we turned into Emily’s. it felt weirdly good to sit next to him, to be within his space, he sat straighter than he had in weeks.

I’d only been to Emily’s a handful of times when I wasn’t close with Leah and went to buy the vegetables she sells. The house was covered in flowers and plants, it was beautiful. Jared went in talking with Bella about something I couldn’t be bothered to listen. I’d decided I would sleep in Bella’s truck and would do nothing about what has just happened, I’ll sleep then Bella will come back and drive me to Leah’s.

“Come on sleepy head.” Embry said, lightly pulling me out of the truck. Clearly aware of my plans to sleep away the issue I was avoiding. I wanted to burrow within myself. Curse Bella for making me come all this way but I felt so perfectly seen in Embry’s arm.

“I really hate you; you know.” I whispered to him, keeping my voice steady and monotone. I wanted to be mean. To hurt him. He sighed and said he knows. I didn’t hate him, it’s like what Leah said. You are angry at what the situation is not the person you love. I was certain she didn’t love Sam anymore. Any crumb of that had been washed away. But she loved Emily, deeply and unequivocally. She was angry at her and had told me she felt physically sick when she last saw her but knows she’s grieving the relationship they had. When all of this first happened, before I’d met Leah, she’d been so angry at what had happened she’d trashed Sam’s place. Turned it upside down. She didn’t regret it though; she’d do it again. She just wished she’d stayed longer to spit in his face. Her mom had told her that she shouldn’t take her anger out like this, the people around Leah expected her to cry. Leah didn’t cry, Leah screamed. I hurt with my words, she hurt with her actions. ‘It’s like they underestimate how I am,’ she’d told me once, laughing about how Jacob’s dad compared the pair of us and how we didn’t cry. She was methodical and cruel; it was addictive to watch.

A soothing voice called my name as I stepped inside, Embry’s arm still wrapped around me. Emily’s long hair framed her face, dark and straight. She had a large scar that dominated her face and arm but was still as beautiful as ever. She hugged me. I was completely stunned, my arms hesitantly wrapped around her. What the fuck. She whizzed back to the kitchen. I stayed to the door. Bella was sat at the table talking to Jared and now Embry who looked back at me.

“Please come sit.” He gestured to the chair beside him. I sat next to Bella instead. Jared winced and Embry looked away, they started talking about wolves and vampires, debating speed and agility. Then Sam came in, complimenting Bella’s ease with this information. I watched as he made a beeline for Emily, kissing her lips and then her scar. He held her waist with such a gentle tenderness I wanted to vomit. Someone called my name again and my eyes moved up to glare at Sam as he spoke, asking how I was feeling. I didn’t respond. Filling the silence Jacob and Paul came in, Paul apologised to Bella and Jacob took Bella outside to explain something. Jared and Paul spoke so loudly I felt as if Sam wouldn’t ask me again. I didn’t want to talk to him. Or be here. I didn’t want to be involved with this [HE(1] shit. My ribs began to tighten, lungs constricted, and it felt like they were filling with salt water again.

“I take it you don’t want to be a part of all this, I get it.” Sam said, his voice strong and stern. I hated that I felt comforted by his presence like he was my older brother.

“I don’t know what this is.” I was surprised at how solid my voice sounded, I was convinced it would be weak and fail me. Sam sat down beside Emily and tried telling me the legends. “I already know the legends.” I interrupted; I expected him to be annoyed at the very least at how rude I was being, but he didn’t he was calm. He looked relived that I’d even stayed here. I could just get up and leave but I didn’t know where Bella was, and I couldn’t just leave her alone.

“Well, they’re all true, and we’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone.” I was about to make a snide comment about no sane person believing me then he added “not even Leah.” The entire kitchen went silent. I guess her name didn’t get mentioned much. “He carefully explained imprinting to me, like he was explaining how to diffuse a bomb as a whole town waited in pained agony. I looked at Embry, his eyes weak. Bile rose in my throat. I looked away, not knowing why I was still here.

Fuck this. My fingers burned as I dug my nails into my palms. I saw Embry move out of the corner of my eye. He shifted in his chair, swallowing something painful. I needed to find Bella and leave, give them a false promise and tell Leah everything, not leave her in the dark like Sam did. I felt drawn to Embry’s side, despite everything, despite myself. I wanted to burrow myself within him, know him better, understand him utterly. Let him give himself to me. As the door opened, I was saved, Bella’s cold hand on my shoulder to let me know she was ready to leave. I got up, quick, abandoning the table. Voices calling my name, Embry’s stood out even though it was the quietest. Maybe I was just too focused on him. I practically ran out of the front door, telling Bella how ‘shitty’ and ‘stupid those shit asses’ were.

“Bella take me to Leah’s.” I could see the apprehension in her face before I looked at her, my gaze still firm on the lush greenery. “Now.” My voice was solid. An old oak tree. Rooted in the grounds of dirt and pain, sweet and bitter. She didn’t protest, sucking in a breath she turned the old truck around heading back into the heart of the reservation, the Clearwater’s. It was late afternoon at this point, the hours went by so fast I barely noticed. Sue was in the front of the house setting up for a family party, one that I’d been invited to of course. As I got out of the truck, I muttered a half-hearted goodbye to Bella, slamming the door a little too hard. I hope she knows I’m not angry with her, but I wouldn’t tell her.

“Go get Leah to come help me.” Sue said as she stopped me for a hug. She smelt like citrus and sandalwood, she smelt like home. My spirits would’ve been lifted if I couldn’t shake the image from my head. Embry sat at that table, slight yet large, eyes dark, pained and never leaving me. Party decorations swarmed the home, some cousin’s birthday or uncle’s anniversary. Leah’s door was shut completely, as usual. But when I opened it, her voice echoed in an angry yell. I walked through and saw her sickly figure. Sweating and panting, red nose and dark eye bags. She was taller somehow, leaner, stronger. She exhaled when she saw me. Not noticing the reclusive way I held myself.

“Thought you were my mom.” She said turning around and grabbing something from the floor. Her pillows and blankets, she must’ve thrown them off as she slept. Her movements were heavy, sluggish. It reminded me of Embry before this all happened. “Pick an outfit for me,” she said, a smile forcing her lips. Leah wouldn’t tell me if she was sick, that I knew. But this would just be the flu. Only the men of the tribe turn when forced to and Leah wasn’t a man, all the sleepovers we’ve had I knew that much. I picked out a T-shirt and baggy jeans, taking one of her dresses to wear myself. As we changed, she started to just look at me.

“what’s wrong?” I laughed.

“I’m so tired.” Her fingers began playing with the duvet as she sat down on her bed, now made. “Like I keep getting so angry it’s like nothing else is even happening. I keep fighting with my mom, more than usual. And..” she trailed off looking out of the window. I sat next to her grabbing her hand and placing it in my lap.

“And?”

“And I can tell you’re hiding something from me.” Shit. How the hell could she tell? If werewolves are real witches are and Leah Clearwater was a mindreading witch. After a few seconds of not saying anything I can’t hold it in anymore, screw Sam Uley. Fuck Embry and fuck all this shit. Leah is the only person who deserves an answer. All I can think about is her, when I eat sleep and breathe all it is, is Leah. How we spoke about the apocalypse and if it ever happened that we’d survive and get a farm, killing anyone in our way for each other.

“I am. I need to tell you now” before I can, before my lungs can bring in air again Sue bursts into the room, talking about family being here and how we both need to get out now, she grabs our wrists and pulls us away. Leah and I look at each other, I with desperation and Leah with a festering anger that is morphing her face. The afternoon air hits me with a welcomed delight. Which is suddenly vomit inducing once I see Sam Uley and his pack of puppies stood around the garden, talking with neighbours or family members of the Clearwater’s.

“I’ll tell you later.” I whisper once Sue lets us go. “I promise.” She doesn’t look like she believes me. I wouldn’t either but I have to tell her.

The sweet afternoon falls into a dark evening slowly and painfully but I stay by Leah’s side throughout, begging for a spare moment where one of the pack aren’t in earshot but those assholes are always fucking near. It’s actually fine when its Quill, at least he entertains us but when it was Embry near I wanted to cry, slouched and frail he stood forcing a choked laugh at Harry Clearwater’s joke. It wasn’t funny. I knew he was watching me, when Leah’s arm went around me, he straightened, it seemed like a spike of jealousy mixed with pure raged flew through him. Leah was so warm, like burning warm but it was freezing, and the dress didn’t offer much for warmth.

“Can I talk to you?” A voice asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. It was the one I couldn’t stop thinking about, Embry.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you, fuck off.” Leah almost shouted, her voice rumbling from the deepest part of her chest. I assured her it was fine and mustered all my might to stand up, holding my own arms for warmth as I left Leah’s side.

“I’m sorry for how this happened, I didn’t want you to find out. But I did even though I didn’t want to.” He rambled trying to sort through his mind. I couldn’t interrupt him even if I tried. “But I don’t want you to think this is the only reason I like you, that the truth is I’ve felt this way since we were kids and nothing changed it. That I’m sorry I left but if I’d you know, in front of you. I think our situation would be a lot worse.” I think of Emily and the scar across her face and body. He’d felt like this for so long but when did he know. Know that he… and I…

“When.” I demanded, staring into his eyes with a fire so uncontrollable it burned me. “when did you know it was me,” this would be a really bad time to vomit but oh god it was just so much. I could smell the fire and the food, hear everyone talking about different things and feel his breath on me, warm and hot. His hands on my waist and arm. Letting out a shaky breath he told me the one thing that had been crushing me since the day it happened.

“I was there when you were cliff diving, I was phased and watching you, and” he breathed onto me, his forehead pressing against mine. “And I knew then, I’m sorry.” I looked into his eyes, into him. Seeing him for himself for the first time in weeks. It felt as if my head was lighter, a feeling no drug I’d tried could emulate. As our lips connected, moving in a sweet and perfect sync his hand that held my arm moved to the back of my head. We moved closer, his warm body melting into me. My head was fuzzy, light and sweet. Tongues moved in a fluid motion, as one. His warm arms around me, one of mine cupping his cheek the other raking through his hair.

But before we could move apart on our own accords my body was gently thrown behind him, screams and yells followed two seconds later. A tree log was thrown in our direction, Embry deflected it. The lights were a blur as I stood up, his arm around me. Leah was shaking, screaming at her mom, as her body shifted, morphed. Bones snapped and changed, she was a wolf. Large and scared. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She ran into the wood line. Sam, Paul and Jared all ran after her shifting into the woods. Harry Clearwater fell to the ground, hand gripping his chest. We ran over, I pulled Seth away. His eyes were huge and scared he couldn’t look away.

end of chapter three.

 an/ sorry for the late upload! i thought i uploaded this last week! I've been struggling recently but writing this made me feel so much better, i hope it makes someone feel at least the smallest bit better for reading it. Has anyone else watched all of TLOU? Our beloved actor Graham Greene was in it! I'm planning to rewatch the game plays of part two. Leah and the readers friendship is borderline romantic, they care for each other so deeply and intimately it would be hard to ignore it. Asks are open! colourblind is coming. i love you, take care. -em x

[hazel-core]

Attacking you based on your favourite midnights track <3

Lavender Haze

You hate gossip but somehow still end up in the middle of it. It. wasn’t. your. fault. You want a love that feels quiet and safe so badly you’ve totally forgotten how to accept any other form of affection. That’s a hard way to live bestie :/

Maroon

You never let it show, but you are always stressed - about whether your friends hate you, about whether they’d have stayed if you just said something differently. You constantly feel blue (ironic because Red tv is your favourite album)

Anti-Hero

When was the last time someone hugged you? You exude confidence yes, but you don’t actually feel it. You constantly feel too much, like you're the overbearing side character in someone’s story; that when they get rid of you the audience will cheer. How can something so frail ever really be whole?

Snow on the Beach

You’re a dreamer above all else. You constantly dream up the perfect life, the perfect love. You find comfort in that. That may be a good way not to get hurt, but not an easy way to live jaan :/

You’re on your own, kid

You hate asking for help, which is ironic; because you always wonder how far along you’d be if someone had just…offered to help you when you were little. You were (are) a kid. You’re not gonna quit, mama didn’t raise a quitter - though she did raise a burnt out perfectionist who will settle for mediocrity.

Midnight rain

You had big plans, you were gonna be living in the big old city by now right? How’d they turn out? The burnt out Evelyn Hugo gentlemen. You pushed away everyone who didn’t line up with your one goal; and it hurts now to see that they’re doing better without you, while you’re so lonely.

Question…?

You’re the overprotective mom friend in the group, you won’t stand anyone bad mouthing the girls but it takes everything in you not to cry while getting your point across. You like to reminisce on old novelties, it’s not a bad way to live. But you do know that life only moves forwards right?

Vigilante Shit

You’re a reputation girl above all else, you’re a girl who believes in love at first sight, you are a self destructive girl, you want a love that feels quiet and safe so badly it hurts. You need to have the last word in a conversation. You are secretly sensitive but can’t let that show, you’re a girl who can’t leave the house without eyeliner on. Wonder what that says about you?

Bejewelled

It takes 13 compliments to make you believe you’re shimmering but only one arrogant comment to make it all go away. You try to exude confidence but people don’t see how you are being so brave about everything. You do realise you can let it out once in a while right? It’s not a crime to feel things.

Labyrinth

You feel unworthy of love but that is also the only thing you want. You’re definitely a hopeless romantic, and you can never shut up about things you find passionate, but then you look up and realise no one was listening. You feel like there is something intrinsically wrong with you, I wish I could tell you there isn’t.

Karma

You say you like to “live in the moment” but you feel terrified that this is all you have, and that after these couple of golden years your life will just be a slump. You keep choosing the life of the party thinking it’ll work itself out thinking “what’s meant to be will be”. I hope you’re right.

Sweet nothing

You find it difficult to formulate words, there is so much going on inside you but you can never get it out. Though, ironically, you love words. “For how much I loved words, it was surprising how often they failed me” you tell me. Just praying when the time comes you’ll know what to say.

Mastermind

You feel like you have so much to offer, you are smart and creative but not in a neurotypical manner. But you always feel like an outcast in friend groups. You may have even been in love a few times (with fictional characters of course) but you still feel like you haven’t (won’t) find your place in this world.

The Great War

You try to be comforting but you have a tendency to lash out unnecessarily when you think someone is going to hurt you - so you hurt them first. That’s not very nice bestie. You feel like the road ahead of you is too long, you’re sick of fighting. Well buckle up, there’s still a long way to go.

Bigger than the whole sky

You try to be resilient and optimistic but it only takes one snarky comment to make you cry yourself to sleep. You reminisce on old memories, thinking about what could’ve, should’ve, would’ve been and you can’t help but picture a different - a better life. Anywhere but here.

Paris

You love adventure, your love language is quality time, and somehow no matter how much you try; neither fulfils you. You are the social butterfly that no one really got to know personally, you're fun in a group but can’t hold eye contact for the life of you.

High infidelity

You’ve made your fair share of mistakes, but you still desperately want to be wanted. You fell like you are always too hard on yourself, you never forgive yourself for hurting somebody even if they forgave you. That is a hard line to walk my love.

Glitch

You tend to lean into your reckless spontaneity, pushing away every shroud of feeling thinking if you don’t feel them they won’t bother you. But it’s okay to feel things jaan i promise it won’t kill ya.

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve

I know you don’t hear this often but: I’m proud of you. You’ve been through so much; and all your morrose dad leaving and trauma dumping jokes are your way of expressing yourself (or whatever self survived anyway). What happened to you wasn’t your fault, you do know that right?

Dear Reader

Hello therapist friend who objectively gives good advice but has never once followed their own advice, how are we doing today? You DO realise taking on everyone else’s burdens without laying down your own isn’t healthy right? Yea okay just checking.

[brandwhorestarscream]

a crackshipp here( for the baby one-shots)

tarn x prowl

Ooooh methinks... Prowl is the one carrying. Usually I'd cast Tarn, but hear me out: pampered captive carrier. I dont know how they got together, I don't know if it was a one night stand to relieve stress or this is a post-war peaceful resolution where everyone is on the same side and everything is a-okie dokie and they somehow started dating. DUNNO. BUT! I can tell you this for sure: Tarn is still a weird obsessive freak (affectionately) and as soon as he finds out Prowl is sparked up he takes matters into his own hands.

He doesn't let Prowl go anywhere without him. It doesn't matter if they're living on the Peaceful Tyranny or in an upscale apartment in Praxus, Prowl does not get to leave his vicinity without Tarn. He hates it. Tarn is obsessed with him, obsessed with the sparkling, and especially obsessed with the baby bump. He can't keep his servos off of it, always trying to touch and caress it and trying to get bitty to kick at him. It'd be sweet if it wasn't so annoying.

Prowl's ready to bite his helm off within the first few days. He has work to do and he cant very well get it done with this overgrown guard dog breathing down his neck and insisting he stay in berth all day! He's carrying, not dying, Primus! He practically has to beat Tarn back with a bat just to get enough privacy to bathe. And even then he stays right outside the door, "just in case". In case of what? Fuck if I know. He's paranoid. That's a decepticon sparkling he's carrying, he needs to ensure top care and safety at all times!

When the baby comes, you can bet your ass it's the tiniest, nubbiest little Praxian, all done up in orange and white with blue optics. Summery orange dreamsicle of a baby. Tarn can hold them in one servo. But before they van meet their sweet little angel, they have to get through the labor first. Prowl snaps a grand total of 8 of Tarn's fingers during the birth, and afterwards grabbed him by the throat, dragged him down with strength Tarn did not know he had, and snarled at him in a voice that would make Unicron proud, "You did this to me! Get the frag away from me! Get out, GET OUT!"

Tarn was promptly removed from the delivery room with his neck dented impressively and broken fingers kinda just dangling there. He gets fixed up afterwards, dw.

Once Prowl has finished possibly the most difficult herculean task of his life (and god knows he's undergone a lot of shit in just the last 4 million years alone), he goes completely limp on the berth and immediately loses consciousness. He doesn't get to see the bitty at first because of this, but the trade off is they're clean and dry when he comes back. They're also crying, doing that soft little newborn bleat that kinda sounds like a wee little goat. His arms are shaking and he can barely lift them, struggling to sit up and mumbling, "My spar'ling... l- lemme sssee'my spar'ling..." slurring cuz he's so exhausted but desperate to see them.

The newspark is carefully placed on his chassis and he turns his face to carefully kiss their forehelm, whispering that it's ok, he's here now, mommy's here... and they calm right down. The feel of his spark so close and the sound of his voice was just what they needed: the world is big and loud and bright and cold and so, so scary, but feeling his familiar presence makes it all ok.

When Tarn finally gets to see them after getting fixed up, they're both asleep, snuggled together on the berth. He truly doesn't mind, just gladly takes a seat to watch them. He's never seen such a peaceful expression on Prowl' face, and is definitely marveling at how incredibly tiny their child is. Listening to the sound of their tiny, frail systems, the way their vents makes the softest little puff everytime they exhale... it makes his chassis feel tight. Overfull. Warm, in a way he never has.

The first time he gets to hold the little dreamsicle he's shaking a little bit. He won't admit it, but he is. They're so small! They fit in a single servo! What if he breaks them, they're so fragile! He's never had to be careful with his hands before, not like this! He's made for breaking and crushing and hurting, not- not delicate cradling and gentle touches like this! Prowl rolls his optics and says he's doing fine. Warns that sparklings can sense emotions so much stronger than adults, and if he's stressed then the sparkling will stress and that will make them cry.

Once Prowl has recovered from birth and the three of them are released, Tarn tries so hard to be a good sire. He wants to be involved but in the beginning, there's really not that much their infant needs. It's just a lot of carrying and hushing and feeding and he feels like he's not doing enough. He's always hovering and worrying, asking if maybe the sparkling needs a bath or to be burped or to be put down for a nap. It's so much less chaotic than he thought it would be and that makes him anxious. Prowl is constantly rolling his optics and telling him it's fine.

Their sparkling is safe, they're healthy, they're happy. Their optics are bright, their spark is pulsing just as it should. They're refueling and recharging well, and they react to our EMs and our spark energy. You don't need to constantly be actively doing something: just being there with them is enough. Tarn's not good at just sitting around doing nothing, but sometimes that's just what a sparkling needs: to just be quietly held for hours on end. That's one of the most important parts of early bonding, quiet, intimate physical contact near the parental sparks. Prowl has never seen someone go quite so stir crazy over a baby before, but it's definitely amusing 🤭

Once the sparkling finally starts walking around, Tarn finally gets what he wanted... and immediately regrets it because they've got a full fledged wild child on their hands. Into everything, waaay too smart for their own good, incredibly curious, boundless energy, and extremely inclined to mischief, the whole nine yards. They're constantly chasing them around, constantly saying, "What's in your mouth?!", constantly pulling bitty fingers out of places they shouldn't be, and no amount of babyproofing can save them XD

[seth-burroughs]

my response.

[longest recorded sigh known to man] Hi. [sniffs, briefly looks at the floor, then back into your fucking soul] I... [takes out and uncaps a a half-frozen żywiec zdrój water bottle making sure the logo and brand name is visible, cranes neck backwards and gulps down the entire thing in under 10 seconds] [coughs and sniffs again] As you can not see I've been crying... A little, I didn't do my make-up didn't do... My hair's a bit messy . I've... I'm trying to- write this, in the most humble corner At my 5 billion złotych villa I could find, I'm... On the floor right now, this is my basement, so- [smiles weakly, sighs. expression turns serious] This is different from my usual content. I... Really didn't want to make this post, but... Recent events have- This... Is the hardest post I've ever made. I've got a lot of hate recently and, it has affected my mental health.

I know I'm gonna get a lot of hate for this.... [sigh]..... Recent events have come to light in which- accusations- have... [takes out another water bottle, downs it's entirety in under 9 seconds] [sobs] It has come to light my, my identity as a... Yomi Hellsmile.... Fictionkin in the Rain Code fandom on tumblr. And and- I know that this... Came across as- shock, to all seven of you. This post serves as me adressing a few things, to paint a clearer picture of this whole situation. I... [sigh] I have realized I made a severe and continuous lapse, in my judgment, during the 5 years of which I served as the director of the peacekeepers in the Ward. [sigh] I just... let it get to me man, you know, the immense power granted by the capitalism gods there, but, nobody's perfect, i'm only huma- [stops] [audible gulp] 3 years. 3 years served as the director.

Due to my.... [starts petting my cat] past transgressions and problematic qualities, I've been facing... great mistrust and scrutiny, from the tumble kinmunity, but maybe I deserve it. [sniffs] [takes out another water bottle, downs it's entirety in under 8 seconds] [exhales] I am aware of my sins I've committed by the virtue of being a nasty abhorrent piece of shit villainkin, consciously, voluntarily and actively, despite not having- [flinches as the guy forcing me to write this post tightens his finger on the trigger, a clear warning] I mean, I am aware of my sins and am actively repenting, right now and my whole life from now on. Ok? Ok. [long sigh]

I have had it revealed to me, during my toluene huffing induced out of body experience yesterday, that I cannot be allowed to- exist in this world, nor be recognized by the council as valid, have I not feel guilt and shame constantly for the atrocities I've definitely committed in this life. And I now realize, how insensitive of me was to even list it, talk about it in any way or let it affect me and my life. [takes out another water bottle, lets it flow freely down my thrussy straight into my stomach, finishes absorbing it in under 7 seconds] [wheezes] I did not regret all of my actions hard enough, and for that, I need to simply accept the consequences of my past actions, and I hope you never forgive me. [sigh]

I've let you guys down. For- clearly not taking the obvious choice to simply hide or repress my kintype, or just, stop being kinning them. Just stop kinning them lol. Just stop it, since it's a choice and completely voluntary, and keeping that makes me a bit sus...... so I've been told. And for that, I am so fucking sorry. I'm on my knees right now begging for forgiveness and hoping that you'd kick my frail body for the audacity. [sigh] But.... I wanted to adress my side of the story, too, in this post. This is by no means an attempt at justifying my actions, this segment only serves as an explanation, as to how I saw- to better understand- that if you see how I saw things personally, you'll take pity and maybe, just maybe I'm not saying- believe- nevermind.............

[pauses. hesistates. takes out another water bottle and drinks it all under 6 seconds] [throws the emptied bottle behind me, hitting one of the hostages in his giant forehead, making a thwack sound] I don't remember much, but from what I can make out, I was in a very dark place at that time, when- when everything happened. [sigh] I failed torture college long before and never quite recovered, I've been struggling with my mental health, my boytoy hitman whom I won't name to conceal his identity and definitely not because I forgot, fucking died, all my employees were assholes, m*ske.d fr3a//k, and um- think of something, you're forgetting something, uhhh, fuck..... So you see- oh. There was also the... woman flesh cube incident, which, was what I ordered in a private moment, which should have never become public in the first place. I've already reached out to the victim and we're together aiming to resolve things peacefully. I think. She hasn't called me back. Well, anyway.

Now that we established this- I would like to apologize for executing Seth via firing squad that april. I had no idea he was queer and neurodivergent, had I known sooner I would not be this harsh with him, ever. I would also like to apologize for knocking out like, 2... [sigh] or 3.... of my employees that one day, I was under a lot of stress and pressure in that moment, and it just built up until I lashed out in a very destructive way. [sigh] In my defense, literal terrorists were blowing up my city and I was literally in the process of nearly arresting one of them. I will also apologize for kicking that one guy's body repeatedly, I would say, about.... 38 times, that time, and for that, um... he literally killed someone so I can do what I want actually, and I really- I don't really, remem- but I recognize some of you won't see it that way, and I'm sorry that- that's how you feel. And I apologize for also hitting that guy's neurodivergent boyfriend(?) with the whip later, I was under a lot of emotions still, and I was trying to make myself look more foxy to my subordinates present. But most of all, I would like to apologize for developing sexual feelings towards my shitty boss and arch enemy, m*k0t0 kag//uts/uch1. I did not realize he was minor-coded the whole time

[takes out another water bottle, sucks it dry in under 3 seconds] [meows] so :3 [sigh] no, sorry. I am so sorry, for everyone involved. But please understand, that I had grown and changed a lot since then, and am no longer that person. I mean that literally. I-Im really n- [a hostage gets shot for that implication] [stops] I mean, I want to grow and change from this moment and put the drama behind me- or not behind me really, I know I can never never truly atone for the atrocities. You know, I hope to be forgiven, personally, but if that won't end up happening, I will accept my due punishment to be brought out to public and flogged until I confess my sins and then, oh fuck, roughly manhandled and thrown down to the ground to get stomped on for being a ba- [professional editor's note: the following 6 paragraphs of the post have been deleted for a purely technical reasons]

[takes out another water bottle. it dematerializes in my hand.] [starts fake crying] I j-just... That was all I wanted to say. [sigh] I'm gonna upload this post unedited. [sigh] Before I finish this post, [sigh] I would like to announce that I [sigh] will be personally donating 50 groszy to charity, [sigh] in order to atone. [sigh] Please do not harass any of the people involved. [sigh] I hope you understand... [sigh] Now let us move forward. [sigh]

.........................................................................?