#but having to avoid conflict whenever possible
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actually i take back everything. spearmaster's campaign is perfect
#my posts#gameblogging#liveblogging rain world#i just did my first sm run with no passages and no pearl storage#and it was kinda fun#definitely the hardest thing i've done in this game#and i can't say i didn't get frustrated on my 20th death in the precipice lmao#but having to avoid conflict whenever possible#and having to think of not losing the pearl when i did fight something#not to mention that i finally figured out how to use grapple worms#i'll have to do this more#next on my to do list is artificer without any mods making it easier#and hunter with both pearl and neuron#since i recently finished hunter for the first time and it was way too easy#and then maaaaaybe ill give room rando or even inv a try lmao
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I like to hc Jadus is like. a Sith parasite. someone who became so warped by the dark side that they don't even resemble what they used to be or anything mortal (instead of just going to the beach that makes you old). the definition of something that looks like a Sith, acts like a Sith, and resembles one in order to fool others and worm their way amongst their ranks, but clearly has become something that merely mimics them now. His body is incorporeal, his mind in a different time and place; so steeped in the dark side is he that he barely qualifies as any kind of species but rather an individual offshoot of the Force, shed like a lizard's tail.
He may have been a man once. That doesn't matter now.
#swtor#ooc#have you noticed how he avoids excessive conflict as much as possible. that guy is so bored of working hard that he quits whenever it's too#much of a hassle. he has zero willingness to enact hatred. it's kind of hilarious#you could call it the indifference of someone who no longer thinks like a mortal does#but it also feels like the laziness of something that doesn't understand *why* you'd go this far. zero understanding of others#he really doesn't feel like something from the same world lolol#weird force specter gravely miscalculates how much agent is willing to get on his ass more at 8#i said it before and i'll say it again: he's the kid who skips class
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Can I request headcanons for Logan and Wade with shy gn s/o please?
I’m going to assume separate unless told otherwise as poly relationship between Wade/Logan and reader would be cool too, but again unless specified I’m just going to assume it’s separate.
Wade Wilson/ Deadpool
Wade found your shyness adorable but found your reactions to his teasing and flirting.
And he abuses the shit out of that to his hearts content.
Mouse was a nickname that you were given almost immediately from the moment you met as you were quiet and cute as one too that to Wade it just fit you perfectly.
Wade; stop being so fucking cute!
You: huh?
Wade: you heard me! It should be illegal to be as cute as you! You should be locked up for the thing you do to me, but I’d rather keep ahold of the details because half of them might make you faint little mouse.
You: oh. 😶🫣
Wade will make it a tradition to take you by surprise, whether it be by randomly kissing you, hugging you from behind, playfully smacking your ass, it didn’t matter because your tendency to whine his name out in embarrassment ‘waaaaddde!’ Before hiding your face in his chest as he laughs and whispers teasing words into your ear that only makes your flustered state worsen.
Wade didn’t mind that you were shy, he really didn’t as he found it to be one of the many things he loved about you and wanted to protect, he didn’t want you to feel as though you should have to change to better fit him when he was more content with you being you.
He’s never had as much fun nor laughter in his life like he did when he was with you, and Wade considered himself lucky to have someone as soft and sweet as you that he often times thought you’d be better off without a fuck up like him in your life but he’d kept it to himself, disguising it with humour and teasing you instead.
Logan Howlett/ Wolverine
Logan finds you being shy amusing to say the least.
It brought his protective instincts out as someone as soft and shy and softly spoken as you would need him by your side 24/7.
He’s your guard dog, scary dog privilege in the form of a very traumatised man who’s became more familiar with pain and heartbreak than the tender affection and touches you give him.
So you found it best to be patient with Logan and give him time to become familiar with your love and affection until he felt ready to reciprocate in his own way. And Logan appreciated you for that and would let you know his appreciation by planting a soft kiss to your forehead.
Logan is a softy with you and while he’s quick to bite back at other people, with you he’s much softer with his words that they’re practically sweet murmurs whispered within your ear, as he held you against his chest protectively as you both drifted off to sleep.
He more or less acts as your voice whenever you felt discomfort, he’d could easily tell from your bodily language and would immediately step in, and voice your discomfort for you in your stead for Logan knew that you’d rather avoid conflict then delve headfirst into it like him.
However Logan would be the type to try and teach you ways to defend yourself and how to stick up for yourself when he couldn’t, this is probably out of his fear of losing someone dear to his heart again, but he wasn’t about to risk looking you when he could give you the tools to keep yourself safe while he was away.
He gives you his jacket, just make sure that the point gets across that you were his and not theirs, after all he’s a possessive man who doesn’t like sharing what’s his with anyone else.
He didn’t care about anyone else, you were the only thing he gave two shits about alongside Laura Kinney (x 23) other then you two, nothing else mattered to Logan. He just wanted you to be happy for as long as possible.
Side note: he’d love it if you and Laura got along, it’ll mean all the more to him.
#mcu x you#mcu x reader#mcu imagines#mcu x y/n#marvel x you#marvel x reader#marvel imagine#marvel imagines#marvel x y/n#deadpool x you#deadpool imagines#deadpool imagine#deadpool x reader#wade wilson imagines#wade wilson x reader#wade wilson imagine#wolverine imagine#wolverine imagines#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett imagine#Logan howlett imagines
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Sleepy kisses
Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x gender-neutral Reader
Summary: You like giving your sleeping boyfriend kisses on the cheek. Your boyfriend likes receiving kisses on the cheek. But then Rodrick gets greedy.
No physical description; No use of y/n
Word count: 1.9k
Warnings: A bit of conflict but no intense angst
[Posted on AO3 as well]
In your opinion, your boyfriend is just the cutest when he is asleep.
There probably aren't a lot of people that would agree with you on that one. However, in your eyes, his slight drooling and open-mouth snores are just adorable.
Maybe this impression could be explained by the fact, that you both were still in the very early stages of your relationship. Having just made things official a few weeks ago.
That's why you couldn't resist giving Rodrick a small kiss on the cheek or the forehead whenever you found him asleep. Which, now that you think about it, has happened a lot more often in the last few weeks than it used to.
Rodrick was taking a nap after school when he made a great, revolutionary discovery.
You two had plans to hang out that day, so after your extracurriculars were done, you went straight over to the Heffleys' house. A difference you noticed that day, was that you weren't greeted at the door by your boyfriend like usual, but by his mother. After exchanging a few quick pleasantries with Susan you made your way up to his room.
Hearing someone come up the stairs Rodrick woke up. Assuming it was his mom he decided to act like he was still asleep, to avoid whatever chore she came up to assign him. So when he felt the bed dip beside him, created by you sitting down, he was surprised to hear your voice, instead of Susans, greeting him.
He was about to 'wake up‘ when he felt you gently placing a small kiss on his forehead, accompanied by a short gush about how cute he was.
And just like that Rodrick was hooked.
Everyone else calling him cute would have probably set him off, but when it came to you, every tiny compliment made butterflies burst in his stomach. You probably weren't even capable of offending him, even if you tried to.
After throughout research (aka fake sleeping a lot in your company) he came to the conclusion, that you just seemed to like to give him small kisses whenever he was dozing off.
Little did he know, that you were just as willing to give him those when he was awake. All he had to do was ask.
However, Rodrick being the dumb, lovesick puppy he was, decided that the most logical way to make use of this new information was to 'sleep‘ every time you entered a room. That way he would get the most kisses possible.
You on the contrary started to get worried. There seemed to be something wrong with your boyfriend lately. He was sleeping a lot more than usual, and that said something if you are talking about a lazy teenage boy, who even before took at least one nap a day.
Maybe it was a medical issue that caused him to get tired all the time. You hardly ever saw him not asleep. Was he not sleeping at night? Did he struggle with night terrors? Is there a way you can help?
When you first noticed his new sleeping habit, his naps were still limited to the first few minutes after you reached his house. The routine usually went something like that: When you arrived he would be asleep, you would gush a bit about him a little and give him a quick smooch. Then he would wake up about 10 minutes later.
But then it really started to pick up.
You would only leave the room for a short amount of time, for example, to use the bathroom or to get some water. Before, Rodrick always used to do things like getting you something to drink, for you. He was constantly jumping at every opportunity to do something nice. But all of a sudden he stopped. Now, after doing the small task yourself, you would return to find your boyfriend asleep.
And then he started to fall asleep with you right next to him. He would put on a movie or some music, then lay down on his bed or couch, and just minutes later he'd be out.
Another realization you have come to is that you didn't get to hear his soft snores anymore, which you used to adore so much. But that was likely because he didn't reach a deeper sleeping phase, right? That must be the reason, right?
Wrong.
One day you were coming over unannounced and that was when you saw it. While climbing up the stairs to Rodricks room you already called out a greeting, alarming your boyfriend of your presence. Like always, he threw himself straight onto his bed, closing his eyes.
What he hadn't realized, was that you were already able to see him from the position you were at.
And at that moment the self-doubt started. Did he not enjoy being around you? Was this his way of getting out of talking to you? Was he going to break things off?
Your thoughts kept spiraling, convincing you of the most horrible things imaginable. You felt hurt and tears were building up in your eyes embarrassingly fast. You had to sit down.
In the end, you came to the conclusion, that he never actually liked you and probably was making fun of you with his friends all along. Or he fell in love with someone new. Or he just decided one day that you were revolting. That must be it.
While you were drowning in self-doubt, Rodrick was getting impatient. Where was his kiss? Well, he knew he was probably pushing the limits a bit, but come on, that was no excuse for you to deprive him of his precious kisses.
Sneakingly opening one eye, he looked over at you, covering up his movements with a blatant fake yawn, trying to figure out what you were waiting for. What he wasn't anticipating, was to find you looking rather distraught, like you just saw a ghost and were about to start bawling at any moment.
Hastily he scrambles up and reaches for you.
"Baby, what's wrong? Oh my god don't cry, please don't cry." He was panicking. Rodrick had no idea how to comfort you. Now awkwardly petting your head. He was not prepared for this. Should he get his mom? She would surely know what to do. He didn't know how to console someone.
During his inner monologue, you were pulling away from him. "Why don't you like me anymore?" You sounded pathetic but were too upset to care about it right now.
Were you overreacting? Probably. But you're allowed to. Rodrick was your first everything. Your first real crush, your first real boyfriend, the first person you held hands with romantically, and your first kiss. You didn't know how to handle a situation like this, making everything quite overwhelming.
"What?" how the hell did you come up with that? He liked you, liked liked you. "Why would I be with you if I didn't like you? Who put this nonsense in your head? Was it Greg? I swear-"
"It was you! You don't like me anymore. What does your brother have to do with that?"
"Me?" What had he done to give you that impression, 'Come on Rodrick, think'.
"Yeah," sniffle "You don't want to spend time with me. And to think I was concerned for you! I was researching all the possible reasons for you to be so tired all the time. All while you were faking the whole time, solely to get out of hanging out with me! Why didn't you just say it outright? You coward!"
"That's not true!" Rodrick was nervous. How was he supposed to explain the real reason behind it all without making a fool out of himself? "We always still hung out after I woke up, so your theory doesn't even make sense. And I was always actually asleep!"
"That's not true. I literally just saw you throw yourself onto your bed the second you heard my voice."
"I was sleepwalking."
"Rodrick!"
"I wanted to scare you?" He was grasping at straws.
"Oh okay, that explains it all, sorry for the misunderstanding."
"Really? Great. So I was thinking we could- hey what are you doing?" Rodrick stopped in the middle of his sentence when he saw you standing up and crossing his room.
"I'm leaving. I can't force you to tell me the truth, but I also won't be sitting here playing 'happy relationship' with you."
You pulling away was the last thing Rodrick wanted, so he had no other option than, to tell the truth.
"No wait, I'm gonna explain. But it's embarrassing."
You cross your arms, still standing at the top of the stairs, ready to leave but again willing to hear him out.
He had no idea how to start.
„I just- how do I say this, look, you were right, I was fake sleeping.“
Honesty it is.
„Oh wow, I would have never been able to come up with this.“ You were indeed able to come up with this.
„But it was an accident, I swear!“
"Rodrick," You looked exhausted. "How the fuck do you fake sleep on accident?"
"It was an accident! At least the first time."
That doesn't explain much to you. The whole situation was still weird and confusing.
"So you just decided to make it a habit? And why were you fake sleeping in the first place?"
"The first time I had just woken up because I heard someone coming up the stairs. And because I was still in a daze from just taking a nap, I forgot our plans or that you were coming over. At least for a second. So when I heard footsteps I assumed it were my mom's and she was coming to bug me. So to avoid that, I acted like I was still asleep. Then I realized it was you, but before I could say something, you-"
"I?"
"You kissed me. And then I thought if you saw me sleeping again, you would also kiss me again, and you did. So I just continued acting asleep around you." Saying it out loud made him feel kind of ridiculous.
"Crazy suggestion, we are literally in a relationship, why didn't you just, I don't know, ask for a kiss?"
"Just ask?" he didn't believe that to be an option.
"Yeah. Like, 'Hey can I have a kiss?'."
"And then you would have kissed me?" It couldn't be that easy.
"Yeah? And you could also have had real kisses, rather than only ones on the cheek or forehead." Why was this so hard for him to grasp?
"Wow." He was still a mixture of skeptical and mindblown.
"So can we agree that from now on you just ask if you want something from me, instead of making me think you have some disease or lost interest in me?"
He nodded, still having a dazed, stupid look on his face.
"Thank you. And sorry getting so worked up over that."
But Rodrick was hardly listening to you, still stuck on the fact that he could just ask you for a kiss. He was pining over you for way too long, so now he had to sometimes remind himself that you were dating now. He had to try it out to believe it.
"Can I have a kiss?"
"Of course."
You lean over to give Rodrick a quick but sweet kiss.
"It worked, you kissed me."
Your boyfriend is an idiot. A cute idiot though.
#rodrick x reader#rodrick heffley x reader#rodrick heffley x y/n#x reader#diary of a wimpy kid#fanfic#fluff#oneshot#reader insert#no use of y/n
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I think we NEED to discuss more on Logan being Wade's new roomie. Just, out of the sudden, this new hunk moves in with the really annoying (but lovable) guy that lives a couple doors down from you. warnings: Deadpool and Wolverine spoilers, just some cozy ideas otherwise. wc: 430
Imagine trying to get your laundry done in the on-site laundry unit, and he's there. That's how you meet him, the mysterious roomie that barely leaves Wade's apartment. It's late at night, an effort on your part to avoid most people in the building, and he's there, the same reason as you, waiting for his clothes to finish the rinse cycle with a beer in hand. He's totally wearing that wife beater tank top, and you can either get caught staring at pure muscle or try to have a real conversation with him.
Imagine forming a friendship with him over those nights. Imagine how stiff and uncomfortable he was at first, he didn't even fold his clothes before leaving because he very much didn't want to be there. now he's cracking jokes and you're both bonding over your shared annoyance with Wade. you're both looking for any excuses to prolong the night.
Imagine Wade convincing you to join him and Logan on some shopping trip. Guy's new, stripped from his 'verse, and needs more clothes if he's sticking around. ("I think we all would love to see him walk around in his birthday suit, buuuut-") You can tell Logan doesn't wanna go, it's written all over his face, but he doesn't voice his protest when you agree. Btw, if he grabs a shirt just because you pointed it out, don't pay attention to it too much.
Actually, imagine running into Logan all the time after you two become friends. Like it's one thing to see him at the grocery store, but you run into him in the hall just before you leave for work and when you come back from work. He makes an appearance whenever you're talking with Wade, arms crossed over his broad chest and staring at you both. (Wade comments on it, something about a pup.) It's like he was purposefully hiding from you before, and now started making the effort to see you as much as possible.
Imagine bumping into Logan when he's taking Mary Puppins out on a walk. You're on your way up to your room, and you ask Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome if he'd like to join you for dinner tonight. Imagine if he looks at you with that stupid charming smirk and says yes.
Just. imagine being neighbors with Logan. Imagine pining after him and the very slow slowburn because of course the Wolverine has his walls up. Imagine Logan pining after you, with his conflicted feelings because he's much too old to be engaging in romance of all things.
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heehe ok don't mind me..!! just joining in on the fun, even if it's short. I've never written anything marvel related before, so i hope this was ok! requests for logan are open so I can get back into writing ^^''
#wolverine x reader#wolverine and deadpool#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#wolverine and deadpool spoilers#deadpool 3#marvel x reader#wolverine || logan howlett#writing#reader insert#scripts and pages || writing tag
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Mars in signs
Mars in Aries
Mars in Aries is like having a supercharged engine in a sports car. People with this placement tend to be bold, assertive, and full of energy. They're not ones to sit around and wait for things to happen – they go out and make them happen. That impulsive action and independent streak make them a force to be reckoned with. They're quick to act, competitive, and always up for a challenge. Honesty and directness are their trademarks; they have the physical energy to back up their courageous approach to life. When you've got Mars in Aries, it's like having a firecracker lit under you – you're ready to go full speed ahead!
Mars in Taurus
Mars in Taurus brings a super persistent and steady vibe. People with this placement have a practical approach to everything they do and possess some serious willpower. They're patient and focused on stability, and once they set their sights on a goal, they're determined to make it happen.
These folks are all about that sensual and physical energy, taking slow but deliberate action toward their desires. They're resistant to change and value endurance and stamina. These individuals provide a grounded and unwavering presence in a constantly changing world.
Mars in Gemini
Gemini Mars individuals are like the Energizer Bunny on steroids - quick, adaptable, and always on the move. Their mental agility is off the charts, and they can switch gears faster than a Formula 1 car. They're the kind of people who can't sit still for too long and are always on the lookout for the next adventure.
These folks are curious cats and have a relentless thirst for knowledge. They ask a million questions and always dig deeper to uncover the truth. Their smooth communication skills can charm the socks off just about anyone. Plus, they're great at juggling multiple tasks without breaking a sweat.
But here's the catch - Gemini Mars individuals get bored faster than you can say "boredom." They need constant mental stimulation and variety to keep them engaged. Their playful and witty nature makes them the life of the party, and they're always ready with a clever solution to any problem thrown their way.
Oh, and good luck trying to win a debate with them. Their verbal skills are top-notch, and they thrive on a fierce debate. Overall, Gemini Mars folks are a force to be reckoned with, and you definitely want them on your team when quick thinking and communication are key.
Mars in Cancer
Mars in Cancer is all about wearing your heart on your sleeve. People with this placement tend to be emotionally driven, making decisions based on their feelings and intuition rather than cold, hard logic. They're incredibly protective of their loved ones and will go to great lengths to ensure their safety and security.
These folks have a knack for picking up on subtle cues and often take an indirect approach to getting what they want. They may be sensitive to conflict, preferring to avoid confrontation whenever possible. However, when motivated, they can be surprisingly persistent and will stop at nothing to achieve their goals.
Mars in Cancer individuals are caring and nurturing, with a strong home-oriented focus. They can also be quite defensive by nature, especially when they feel their security or loved ones are threatened. While they may sometimes suppress their anger, it's important to remember that it's there, bubbling beneath the surface.
Mars in Leo
Mars in Leo brings a confident and bold energy to the table. People with this placement often have a creative drive that fuels their passionate pursuits. They are leadership-oriented and tend to approach life with a dramatic flair. They bring a strong sense of pride and generous energy to their endeavors. Focused on recognition, they are charismatic and magnetic, drawing others to them effortlessly. They are loyal and determined individuals who inspire others with their bold and passionate approach to life.
Mars in Virgo
Mars in Virgo folks are all about that detail-oriented action. They're practical and methodical, with a knack for dotting every "i" and crossing every "t." These people have perfectionist tendencies and are hardworking. They're service-oriented and thrive when they can be efficient and organized. Health-conscious is their middle name, and they have an analytical mindset that doesn't miss a beat. They might seem reserved when it comes to passion, but trust me, it's there simmering beneath the surface. And when they do speak up, their constructive criticism is always on point.
Mars in Libra
Libra Mars peeps are all about keeping the peace. They've got this super charming and social vibe, always working the room with their diplomatic approach. They're all about finding that sweet balance spot, but man, can they be indecisive sometimes! These folks are all about their relationships; that's what keeps them motivated. They're not ones for direct conflict, preferring to smooth things over tactfully and fairly. Libra Mars crew are all about cooperative energy and focusing on harmony - they like to take strategic action to keep things chill and pleasant for everyone.
Mars in Scorpio
Mars in Scorpio brings a deep intensity to everything you do. You're fiercely determined and have the emotional strength to tackle even the toughest challenges. Driven by a need for control and transformation, you don't give up easily and tend to work behind the scenes with powerful, strategic moves. You're also magnetic and mysterious, drawing people in with your enigmatic energy. Your relentless pursuit of goals and fearless nature make you a force to be reckoned with.
Mars in Sagittarius
Sagittarius Mars folks are all about that adventurous and bold energy. They're the types to jump headfirst into new experiences without a second thought. With their optimistic vibes, they exude a contagious, can-do attitude that just can't be held back.
These freedom-loving individuals despise anything that feels confining or restrictive. They thrive on direct and honest communication, and they're driven by their unquenchable thirst for exploration. You'll find them constantly on the move, their restless and active nature always propelling them forward.
Mars in Capricorn
You're ambitious and super goal-oriented, always hustling to climb that ladder of success. Practical and strategic thinking is your jam, and you're highly determined to make things happen. Patience is your virtue, and you methodically approach everything. Your work ethic is off the charts, and you thrive in a structured and organized environment. You're all about that long-term success and have some serious self-control (even if it is damaged by other planets, you have that in you; it just needs to be opened up). People know they can rely on you because you're super reliable and responsible.
Mars in Aquarius
So, if you've got Mars in Aquarius, you're all about that independent and unconventional vibe. You're not one to follow the crowd - in fact, you're all about breaking the mold and being innovative and forward-thinking. You've got this rebellious spirit and are determined to shake things up, even if it means being a bit detached at times.
You're all about change and progress. You're motivated by shaking things up and moving forward. And let's not forget that you've got a highly intellectual approach to everything you do. You're all about the big ideas and the visionary thinking.
You prefer to work in a group effort to get things done. You thrive in collaborative environments where everyone's ideas can come together to create something truly original and experimental. At the end of the day, you're driven by your ideals and making a positive impact on the world.
Mars in Pisces
Pisces Mars people are seriously compassionate and gentle souls. They approach life with a lot of empathy and understanding, and their actions are often driven by their emotions. They're not big on direct conflict, preferring to navigate situations flexibly and intuitively. Their creative drive and imagination are off the charts, and they're always down for some spiritual and dreamy vibes. Sometimes, they can be inconsistent, but they're like a force of nature when inspired. Plus, they tend to be self-sacrificing, putting others before themselves.
#astrology#astro#natal chart#astro observations#birth chart#astro notes#astrology posts#zodiac#zodiac signs#mars#mars in signs
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─── & 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍
+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 4k | content: slight angst, established relationship, friends/exes to lovers, hurt/comfort, breakup, mentions of jealousy, implied adults here
notes: DISCLAIMER I HAVENT WRITTEN PROPERLY IN A WHILE so it’s probably quite shitty but i missed him ok !!! T_T sobs i hope you guys like this one <3
summary: sae’s still learning the ropes on being in a relationship, and sometimes you think you can’t wait any longer. but this is itoshi sae, maybe you can.
sae hates this sickly tension in the air.
your brows are furrowed and you’re biting your lower lip; it’s the look of confusion that he’s not very used to, but is most aware of anyway. it’s the look you always carry when you’re upset and conflicted and you’re trying not to say any more than you already have on the off chance that you’d cry after you do.
it’s not your fault for getting jealous—sae knows that. all it is is an unfortunate byproduct of him not being around as much as you need him to. but in his head, his mind tells him one thing only: how can you expect him to when that’s what his career entails?
didn’t you know that before agreeing to be his girlfriend?
maybe you’re painfully aware of how it’s neither of your faults, and maybe that’s why you’re really confused. because there’s no one to blame. sae wasn’t to blame for having to show up at an event with some famous actress. he was doing his job. he had told you not to go, but somehow oliver had taken it upon himself to invite you anyway.
“i’m at every event with a different girl, the tabloids wouldn’t suspect a thing about her being your girlfriend, right?”
famous last words because sae’s going to have to kill him one day for that.
beside you on the couch, sae’s head falls to his hands, elbows propped on his knees. it’s not your fault either, he realises, for not being able to take it when you experience firsthand how people gush over him and saiko, the actress. you aren’t used to this life. maybe you shouldn’t have to.
“i don’t know what to do anymore, sae.”
after an entire hour of arguing how he should at least talk to you about these things instead of throwing them under the rug, after an entire hour of how sae tried to defend himself by saying he couldn’t possibly read your mind—you’re both exhausted.
“well i don’t fucking know neither,” he confesses, half snaps, and his head is still in his hands. he knows you’re looking at him, wanting to search his expression for answers that he can’t give verbally. but sae doesn’t want you to see him like this, unsure and conflicted, almost as much as you.
through your eyes, you’ve never felt more rejected than you do when you look at your entire world and see it refuse to let you in. his hair is a mess now, from running after you in the rain, his expression is unreadable and his clothes soaking through his body. sae is always like this when there’s a fight—always avoiding the hard conversations.
and maybe you would’ve let it slide if you’re sure of his feelings for you, but you’re not. you’ve been friends with sae for three years, been together with him for six months. but in all this time, he’s never actually told you how he feels for you. not a small utterance of his love, or any indication of his feelings through text.
no matter how strong or optimistic you are, you aren’t sure if you can last any longer like this.
“sae, can you answer me honestly?”
he doesn’t say a thing, but you know he’s listening. he always does. which is why it hurts even more when he doesn’t do anything whenever you argue. because you know that out of everyone, itoshi sae best knows what you need.
but he won’t do it.
“do you still want this?”
a suffocating silence blankets the room, and after an agonising two minutes, you get your answer in his silence.
slowly, you get up off the couch, and you can almost laugh at why your impending departure is the only thing that can make him look at you.
“i’m sorry, sae, i can’t do this anymore,” you tell him, smiling even though you’re crying, and for a moment, the way he widens his beautiful teal eyes and how he instinctively reaches out to grab your wrist almost breaks you. but you’ve decided, and it’s too late now. “i’ll find an apartment and move out as soon as i can.”
when sae watches you retreat to your shared bedroom and lock the door, he realises by the plunging of his heart that he’s not okay with this. that he’s not okay with letting you leave. it’s stupid why he can’t even find the fucking words to say because he does, he does want this.
that’s why he rushes to the door, knocks rapidly in succession only to hear silence in return. and now he knows exactly how you feel. you’ve always been the vocal one, always been there—armed with your assurances that you never realised he needed, coupled with your smile that drives every negativity in his head away.
“y/n, open the door,” sae tries, but you don’t respond. he hears the tap switching on and he’s cursing himself in his head. his forehead presses against the white wooden surface, unable to bring himself away. “y/n, talk to me.”
for the first time since he met you, you don’t listen.
the next morning is even more torturous than the night sae spent not sleeping.
when you finally come out of the room, you feel like a stranger. your hair’s done up, your makeup fresh, the smile on your face is still gone.
“morning.”
your eyes flick up to meet his as you walk to the kitchen, but they don’t light up like they used to. he can see you swallowing the lump in your throat before you choke out a good morning in return, though it’s strained.
have you been crying all night?
“listen, can we talk about last night?” sae asks, but it’s futile.
the way you close the fridge door carelessly sits uncomfortably with him, only because he feels like he recognises you even less. the way you smile after that is so forced he would rather you didn’t.
“oh right, about that, good news,” you try to sound chirpy, but it settles awkwardly between the both of you. “i managed to find some listings, so i’m gonna go check them out. fingers crossed i’ll be out of your hair soon!”
you’re prancing around the kitchen like a madwoman, humming tunes he doesn’t know and playing the part of not you all too well.
“y/n, i don’t want you to—”
“stop, sae,” you cut him off, heart broken and head buried in the cupboard.
he saunters to your side, not daring to get too close to you, afraid you’d just retreat further away. “tell me what i can do.” a part of him wants you to ask him that question again, so that he can answer now. so that he can tell you how he really feels.
but it doesn’t come. you’re just staring blankly at the wall.
when his gaze falls to your neck, he realises that necklace he gave you isn’t there like it used to be everyday. his heart sinks even further. “you’re not wearing it anymore?”
it’s stupid of him to expect you to. as of last night, you both were as good as broken up, after all.
“y/n, can we talk? i really—”
“sae, enough,” you utter through gritted teeth. “i don’t want to hear it anymore.”
—love you. that’s what he wants to say. but you’re past caring, it seems.
sae’s lips are sewn tightly shut after that, both of you eating breakfast in silence. you’re eating what you cooked, some sausages and a sunny egg and toast while sae’s stuck with cereal because you usually do all the cooking.
you don’t look at him, and he doesn’t look at you. the hands on the analog clock are all either of you hear aside from your own chewing.
“at least let me drive you,” sae says as you head for the door, slipping into your sneakers.
your hand hovers over the doorknob, as though you’re considering it, and for a minute sae is hopeful, but then the next minute, you pour water over his fire.
“it’s fine, i can manage fine on my own.”
for some reason, sae feels like you’re telling him that for much more than just today.
days pass and you’ve barely spoken two words to each other. sae finds himself taking the chance to look at you much more than he has before; you still look tired. maybe it’s from all the house visiting, or maybe it’s the outcome of being with him. he’s still not okay with you moving, with you not being in his life, but sae’s stuck at a loss of what to do.
you’d been spearheading this relationship all this time that now, sae has no idea what to do. any attempt at a conversation is thwarted by you, and any time he comes near you, you relegate to the room and lock yourself in there.
sae’s taken his necessities and moved to the guest bedroom, and he thinks it’s so stupid to think that sleeping in a different room is better than being at a different apartment altogether.
but how long until you find a suitable apartment and move out? how long until sae has zero chance at being able to see you again?
“that sounds like a you problem though.”
as sae sits across the booth and deadpans at his younger brother, he thinks maybe the most useless thing you’ve ever done is repairing their relationship. especially with rin mumbling useless shit like that.
“yeah, thanks for the help,” sae rolls his eyes, watching as rin pops a nugget into his mouth.
“why didn’t you answer her then?” rin surveys his older brother’s movements; uncomfortable, awkward, reserved. he’s amazed that anyone can get sae like this, if he’s honest. he doesn’t usually give a shit about anything that doesn’t concern himself.
sae sighs. if he knew, he wouldn’t be here. he’d be with you, trying to explain how fucked up he is and why he didn’t say shit when he should’ve. but now, you won’t even give him the chance to talk without shutting yourself away.
rin groans, thoroughly annoyed because unbeknownst to his brother, you’d already filled rin in on everything. besides, you’re kind of already like a sister to him anyway. and you’re better at being an older sibling than sae is, granted.
“do you still want her though?” rin asks. it’s kind of tiring, being in the middle, being told by both parties to not say a thing to the other. he’s also tired of sae and his cryptic messages when he wants advice but is too proud to outright ask for it. and also of you whining in his messages about how if sae keeps this up you can’t keep being strong about this anymore.
“yeah.”
sae’s answer is surprisingly simple, and rin is entirely unamused.
“yeah maybe i see why she left you.”
“excuse me?”
rin meets his brother’s gaze, unrelenting. “you still want her yet you’re here telling me about it instead of her. i think you’d win best boyfriend of the millenia award.”
rin is dripping with sarcasm and maybe if he wasn’t his brother sae would’ve already punched him. but by the end of the night, sae can only come to one conclusion; it’s his fault for not talking it out when he could. so he could either let you go, or try, just like you did before.
he’d have to do it tonight, unless he wants to wait another month after his match next week in the states. but if he does, you’d be gone by then, he knows it. so he has to make it tonight.
and he’s hopeful, because he’ll make it fucking work no matter what he has to do. he’s not going to back down that easily, not anymore. and he knows it’s late and it’s 11pm and you’re probably asleep but fuck, you’re just going to have to wake up when he pounds hard on the bedroom door.
which is exactly what he plans to do—wake you up, talk to you, and tell him how fucking stupid he is and that he’s sorry and he fucked up.
it probably won’t make up for all the times he failed to speak when he should’ve, but sae thinks it’s a start.
so he unlocks the front door and walks straight to your bedroom door, but when he reaches up to knock it, he realises it isn’t even locked. when he slowly opens the door, you aren’t even there.
sae knows what to expect, but he still opens the closet anyway. and all the drawers. and inspects the bathroom. but every trace of you is gone. even the photos in the living room that had been all framed up. it’s no longer there. you probably threw them somewhere.
fuck.
he’d chase you if he could, but you’re already long gone. his calls aren’t even going through—did you block him already? not even a goodbye note, nothing.
it’s useless, but he opens your chat thread anyway.
y/n, come back. i still want this.
but it reads undelivered.
it’s a long shot. a very, very, slim chance.
sae tries to take it anyway.
a month later, the moment he touches down and puts his luggage back at home, he grabs his car keys and makes a break for your favourite hangout; a cosy family cafe at the edge of the city, near your workplace. he’s taken you there many times before on your request, and if there’s anywhere he’ll find you, he bets it’s there.
after a whole agonising month of trying and failing to talk to you, sae’s still going to try. fuck it if you reject him after that—at least he gets to say he tried.
he sits at the cafe from noon till evening, five hours of occupying the spot at the corner—your favourite one because you say it shades from the sun and it’s easy to wave the waiter over.
sae’s beginning to think that you’re not coming today, but then he sees a familiar figure strolling into the cafe. it’s not you, but it’s your best friend, suzuki, if he remembers correctly. suzuki, the one with the black hair and sharp blue eyes because the moment she walks in, she spots him in the corner, a knowing smirk on her face.
“what’re you doing here?” she asks, without a greeting first, because you probably told her what happened and she’s probably not very happy with him.
sae sighs, feeling stupid sitting here for five hours. although at least, she’s confirmation that you’ll be here soon.
“eating.” weak excuse, but whatever.
suzuki cocks a brow, “sure you’re not just a pathetic loverboy waiting for my best friend?”
is this embarrassment even worth it anymore?
before suzuki can say any more, sae hears a very familiar voice speaking his name, and there it is again—all the negativity seeped out of him in an instant.
“y/n, hey,” he greets, as though you haven’t been avoiding him this whole time.
on your part, you acknowledge him, which is way better than what he expected (you storming out and running away from him).
“what’re you doing here?”
sae wants to talk to you, but with suzuki’s eyes glued onto him, it kind of ruins the mood. still, this is the most you’ve spoken in two months and he’s not about to pass that up.
“i wanted to talk to you,” he says, keeping his voice down. “meet me after dinner?”
there is hesitance in your eyes, but your gazes meet again and for the first time since that night, sae is greeted with your genuine smile—“yeah, sure.”
just like that he’s taken back to three years ago when he first met you, when he first saw you smile at him and instantly knew that he had to have you, somehow. sae’s stupid to have hurt you however he did, he knows that now.
but now, selfish as it is, he can only hope that you haven’t moved on yet.
sae puts your new address into his phone as you get into the car, fortunately agreeing to let sae drive you home.
“so, how’ve you been?”
it’s a stupid question to start with, and he hates himself for not getting to the point, but sue him; he’s still somehow afraid you’d shut him out straightaway if you knew what he really wanted to talk about.
your fingers rest awkwardly on your lap. sae can’t help but remember how they used to crawl over to the driver’s seat, resting on his thighs or teasingly curling his hair.
“i’m okay, finally left that job of mine.”
the one with the overbearing boss who micromanages way too much—yeah, sae remembers. he really wishes he’d treasured the little things more when he had them, like your small updates on your job and your family, or even the way you’d routinely text him everyday after work to see what he wanted for dinner.
“found a new one yet?”
you look out the window where you’d usually look at him. guess this is still awkward for you. “nope, but i’m working on it. i have a couple of interviews scheduled next week.”
“that’s nice,” sae responds, albeit half-heartedly because he’s never been good at conversations like these.
(on your end, you can’t help but realise how slow he’s driving even when there’s no other car in front of him. a part of your heart warms at the fact that maybe itoshi sae wants more time with you after all.)
“how about you? how was the match in london? heard you guys won by a huge margin.” (that’s a lie. you didn’t hear anything, you watched the match, stayed up late and all. nothing that sae needs to know.)
sae can tell you’re lying though, because you have that little habit where your ears twitch ever so slightly when you speak, and he chuckles softly. “it’s not a crime to watch my match, you know?”
your cheeks heat up—you really shouldn’t have asked anything at all. you whip your head towards him, sulking, “i didn’t watch it, okay?”
“sure, whatever you say,” sae tells you, feeling the tension lift off, feeling the normal you come back again. “how’s the new house?”
“it’s… okay. my roommate’s a little bit annoying but i can live with it.”
sae thought he could endure the small talk a little longer, but he can’t. not really. because the words just slip out of his mouth.
“then move back in with me.”
the car comes to a stop at a red light, and neither of you can look at each other. sae wonders if you’re just going to be impulsive and run out the door.
you don’t.
“it’ll be a little awkward living with an ex, don’t you think?”
“then all you have to do is get back with me,” sae answers, witty as you always remembered.
a moving car isn’t the best place to have this conversation, but if he doesn’t take the chance now, what if he loses it forever?
“i was stupid, okay? i don’t know why i didn’t say anything back then but the answer is yes, yes i do still want this- you.”
and it takes you aback slightly, because he’s never been one to be so vocal about his emotions. it kind of scares you a little too, how easily you fold when it comes to sae. it took everything in you to block his number that day, and everywhere else, and you’ve been hard at work trying to forget him, to the extent you’d agreed to room with some male even though you knew it was a bad idea.
but the moment you saw sae in that cafe, everything goes back to square one. and you’re kind of sick of lying to yourself—that the way you left didn’t leave a gaping hole in your heart, that the way you blocked him didn’t leave you chock full of regrets.
“maybe you should’ve said that before i left, then.” but you’re also stubborn, so there’s that.
sae pulls up outside of your new apartment complex right as the words leave your mouth, but his hand reaches out to grip your wrist after you unbuckle your seatbelt.
“i know i probably wasn’t a good boyfriend—” sae can’t bring himself to look at you as he speaks the words he thought would never leave his mouth— “but i promise i’ll work on it, ‘kay? just- don’t leave.”
again.
maybe in another life, you’re stronger than this. in that other life, maybe sae’s better at being expressive, better at reassuring you.
your eyes flick across the car to meet his, and he’s looking right at you, a sort of gaze that you’ve never really quite seen before—a mixture of both faith and fear. his grip on your wrist is firm, as if he’s afraid you didn’t believe him when he uttered those words.
“you make it very hard to stay broken up, you know that?” you’re pouting, hard, if only to try to keep yourself from smiling.
and the second you respond, the second he realises you didn’t reject him, his expression levels with that of a—how would you describe it, a golden retriever? as though he’s wagging his tail.
“so- you’re willing to give this a shot?”
you chew your inner cheek, “not so fast, hot shot. i’m not taking you back that easily.”
sae pulls back, cocking a brow, but he knows by the tone of your voice that his chance is at least granted. “what do you mean?”
you grin, “maybe i want you to chase me again, itoshi sae. can’t have you thinking i’m that easy to get, you know?”
your future boyfriend smirks, shaking his head. “you’re impossible, y/n l/n.” you hear nothing but fondness in his voice.
and just like the good boyfriend he envisions himself to be in the future, he walks you up to your doorstep, complete with giving a peck on your forehead when you arrive.
“how am i doing so far?”
“sae, it’s only been an entire elevator ride!” you laugh, sae pecking even more kisses onto your face. what makes this entirely more amusing is how he’s so straight-faced while doing it. “okay okay, i’ll rate you a six so far. you’re gonna have to do better on those dates you’ll ask me out on.”
he thinks you’re such a tease, but hey, he wouldn’t have you any other way.
when you open the door, you turn around to look at him, pressing your lips into a firm line before placing a quick kiss on his lips, making his heart skip two beats because he didn’t think you’d be so kind.
“see you soon, itoshi sae?”
sae nods, “yeah tomorrow.”
“someone’s eager,” you chuckle, though you agree to it. “see you tomorrow.”
bonus: the next day
“itoshi sae, you’re too much.”
you’re lugging your suitcase behind you, sae carrying one of the heavier boxes. he keeps quiet, a sullen expression on his face.
“we could’ve at least waited for the movers to be available, you know?” you sigh as you get into the lift, sae pressing the topmost floor—back to the apartment you shared after a mere month of living on your own.
sae’s expression is now tilted towards you, and you don’t need him to speak to know what he’s thinking.
“do i really deserve the silent treatment for this?”
you’re not really arguing, but having a little disagreement. a small part of you is happy you get to do this with sae again, and not anyone else. that just means you two are that much closer, still.
“as if i’m gonna let you continue living there.”
you scoff, “what are you talking about? that apartment was completely fine!”
sae raises a brow, completely aware that you’re not actually back together but not being able to help himself nonetheless. because like hell is he ever allowing you to live there ever again.
“don’t fucking care, you’re not living with that michael fucking kaiser ever again.”
#bllk x reader#sae x reader#itoshi sae x reader#blue lock x reader#sae x you#sae x y/n#bllk x you#bllk x y/n#sae itoshi x reader#sae fluff#itoshi sae fluff#bllk fluff#blue lock fluff#itoshi sae x you#itoshi sae x y/n#૪ aeri’s fics !
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The Briar Siblings' Lies
It's very interesting that in the family of lies and secrets, the lies of the Briar siblings are included, and I'm pretty sure that will play a role whenever they find out about each other.
I expect Yor to be heartbroken and angry at Loid when she'll find out his lies, but I'd also expect her to be heartbroken and disappointed when she finds out how much Yuri lied to her.
Yor might have kept her own very dangerous secrets, but there are huge differences in their circumstances.
Yor took up her assassin gig when she was just a teenager, orphaned and with a little brother to take care of. Amidst the cold war brewing, there would be various criminal organizations looking for people to drag in, and a poor, desperate, kind, and almost supernaturally strong teenage girl was the perfect recruit for Garden.
Whether this is Garden's initiative or not, Yor has a strong determination to kill her targets as quickly and as painlessly as possible, along with avoiding unnecessary bloodshed. She has studied human anatomy specifically for this very reason, to be able to kill her victims with mercy. She's realistic about the situations she's in, but if talking things through is even a tiny bit possible, she'll give it a try.
Though her morals are slightly skewed for the average civilian - it's understandable to kill someone in self defense, but her main targets are situations where she plays judge, jury and executioner - she's still retained a lot of her humanity that allows her to be a kind person and a caring sister, mother and wife.
And then you have Yuri.
Yuri fell victim to a more sinister kind of indoctrination - extremism and bigotry. Having grown up in poverty caused by the war and the deaths of his parents, and having an overwhelming wish to protect his sister, he was the perfect target for Ostania's nationalistic propaganda.
But the tragic background leading up to this choice and the want to protect his family is where his similarities with Yor's case end.
Yuri wasn't left with no other choices. Yor was already supporting him financially when he started working for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and that was a job that he could stay at and be independent. He was older than Yor was when she became an assassin. I can assume that some underhanded methods were used to lead him into the duties of the SSS, but even so Yuri had more control of the situation, more choices to choose from, and more information at hand. It's directly opposite to Yor's circumstances.
Yuri tortures people. The SSS specifically want him, despite his young age and lack of experience, exactly because he won't hold anything back, even when it makes him feel conflicted.
The SSS may be taking advantage of the ease with which he tortures people, but it's still something Yuri willingly participates in - and again, considering the fame of the SSS among civilians, it's almost certain Yuri knew what he was getting into. He's giving up his own humanity, going down a path of "us vs. them" and while Yor plays judge on who gets to live, Yuri plays judge on who gets to be treated like a human being.
While two similarly dangerous and demanding professions, and (at least according to what Franky says) following the same government's orders, it's two highly different cases. I think Yuri will be mostly horrified to learn what Yor went through for his sake, but Yor will be very understandably heartbroken. Yuri could understand that Yor had no other choice, but Yor will know that Yuri had all the best choices right in front of him, and yet he chose this.
And it's why I believe this is the revelation that will hurt Yor more. She could explain Twilight's lies by the fact that they didn't know each other before, she could explain Anya's secrets by her young age and innocence, but there will be very little for Yuri to stand on - and the thing is, Yuri knows that. He knows that what he's chosen to become isn't what Yor raised him to be.
Currently he may be seeing himself as a martyr for his cause, that he needed to potentially break his sister's heart in order to protect her and "the country she lives in". He'd rather have her feeling heartbroken and betrayed by him than with her life and safety in danger. He'd rather her hate him than get hurt.
How will it hit him when he realizes she's already been doing the same for him, and has already been endangering her life for over a decade for not only his sake, but for the world in general too? When he realizes all the work he's been doing to protect her was in vain because she has been walking into danger herself all along?
It's a really interesting dynamic, because the revelation could either break them or make them. They both have a very heartwarming background together, they both love each other deeply, but it's a trial they'll both have to go through at some point.
(Anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)
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Dark features/people as blessed, white and light people as sick
ladyoftheseastuff asked:
I'm writing a fantasy story where the world is permanently covered in snow & ice. The people share a common culture & are loyal to their city states, but they are not homogeneous in appearance; there will be many, many characters coded as PoC. The main religion centers on the sun, & those with dark features are 'favoured' by the sun god, while pale people or anyone who has white/blonde hair are thought vulnerable to "snow sickness", a disease caused by environmental factors (1/2) & have other rules and customs to gain religious approval. It's dangerous & infectious but not well understood. It affects social standing and opportunities, but it's meant to be tied with ideas of youth, vitality, & fear of aging & sickness: it's not limited to those coded as white. This is a cultural detail and not part of the main conflict, but I want to avoid unintentional allegories/parallels & fetishization. Is this a concept that's too close to crossing any of those lines? (2/2)
This feels less like a means to show dark skinned people in an empowering light and more like a weak attempt at subversion. My primary concern (which you have not specified) is how do the "blessed" class treat the "sickly" so to speak. We have fantasy stories like The Grisha Trilogy and Girls of Paper and Fire, which deal with magical ability/feature-based segregation and conflict.
In both cases there is a sense of entitlement which comes with hailing from the "favoured" class, quite obvious, since there will always be an inherent othering metaphor whenever you create such a division, whether it was meant to be a source of conflict or not.
However, the two mentioned series use the "magical people are blessed, non magical people are to be pitied" arc which is somewhat more subtle than divisions created just on the basis of skin colour.
Disclaimer as I do not have albinism or vitiligo: The latter can be extremely harmful, and not just in a racial context, but in cases of albinism, vitiligo etc.
~Mod Mimi
The pitfalls of subversions
While it is always lovely to see dark features considered in a favorable way, there are some issues you may come across. Such a story could easily end up dressing those you wished to uphold as bad guys in the readers' eyes, even if the story's society and the sun god etc. thinks they're amazing, and white and light people as the victims of dark people, deserving reader sympathy. This may especially be the case based on how these groups get treated in the story.
These sort of subversions lean dangerously into "reverse discrimination" plots which are not overall accurate or favorable allegories for your real, human audience. There being diversity on both sides doesn't necessary fix this issue or remove racial or ethnic implications. On that note, and as Mimi mentioned, being demonized and ostracized particularly for skin and genetic disorders like albinism is already a thing. What does your concept say of them?
I think Dark/Black as good and Light/white as bad is a doable concept. Your concept differs a bit from simply subverting black/white tropes. This is not just Black good guys and night skies being peaceful or neutral. It's not just white/light villains (as opposed to victims) or snow symbolling death or sickness.
White and light people are quite blatantly being declared as sick and unfavored and they may very well be victims in the reader's eye with the dark people being the villainous, unsympathetic bunch. Is this your intention?
More to consider
Such a concept requires thoughtful, careful planning and intentional writing. You should have an understanding of what your story implies to the readers and the real-life takeaways.
I think it's possible to make dark skin the favored skin of the sun god without it meaning white/light people stand in a negative light and are sick or unworthy.
Consider what it is that you like about the concept of your story. Can you keep the essence of whatever it is that excites you about your ideas, without denying a whole group of people favor? If not, how will you go about telling such a tale that is not meant to symbolize a sort of reversal of roles discrimination?
Why does the sun god get to determine what is good?
Are there other gods that might have different strong opinions? Perhaps who is favored varies by time of day, season, region, culture, god?
Can dark skin get its favor without white and light features being deemed unfavorable as a whole?
How big of a deal does this favor have to be? I advise reconsidering it being the point of discrimination to white/light people for all the reasons already described.
No matter the directions you go, please research and get the appropriate beta-readers for feedback on the in-depth concepts and story.
~Mod Colette
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Hiiii~ any headcannons on how we meet/court/rizz/woo malleus or kalim? Or even trey?
Hii!! You're my first writing request!! I'm sorry it took this long though, this trio in particular are hard to write for me,, 100000 character analyseseses later and I'm finally done TT Trey's is kinda mid cuz I'm actually so blank rn but I hope you don't mind!
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Your mere existence is enough-
Jk jk, to be totally honest with you, even though I love the Malleus Otome Game allegations I don’t think he’s even considered you like that-
For one, you are first friend and rather than romance he’s more focused on the platonic bond you have.
It’ll take some time for him to see you as a romantic interest, most likely after he manages to befriend others at NRC.
Once that hurdle is passed, we can get to the wooing phase >]
He’s someone who has a very limited knowledge on human customs beyond what he’s learned in Biology class so you’d have to make a trip to the library to read up on fae courting rituals.
Offerings. Lots and lots of offerings. Ice cream, precious jewels, pretty rocks, basically anything you think is nice.
He’ll be quick to catch on.
I do think it’ll take some time for him to accept your feelings. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be in love and he can’t tell if his heartbeat speeding up whenever you’re around is because you’re his best friend or the love of his life.
That’s where peepaw Lilia comes in!
The self-proclaimed master of love himself!
He probably got impatient and decided to just speed things up by having the love talk with Malleus 50 years ahead of the schedule.
(Lilia is really cheering you two on. He’s grown on you as an individual and sees the genuine care you two have for each other.)
Malleus dates to marry, (It was straight up marriage before so thank Lilia) so he brings up the topic of royalty and its duties and dangers.
He understands if you back out but if you stay? Prepare yourself, for when a Draconia falls, they never climb back out.
Now, making Kalim Al-Asim fall for you is no easy feat. It’s easy to have him like you, sure! But love?
He’s accepted that his future marriage will be arranged by his parents, and he plans to make the best out of it!
But if one day he discovered his smile got a tad brighter around you than anyone else?
Kalim is full of hope but he isn’t innocent or dumb. He knows how he feels and he knows what would happen if he were to act on said feelings.
Your life would be in constant danger to the point that one day you might come to hate him and he dreaded that possibility.
So instead of running into your arms, he keeps his distance. It’s not obvious enough for you to notice but he keeps himself steadily behind a line.
To earn his love is to earn his trust.
Trust that you’d never make yourself unhappy just for him.
Trust that you won’t be burdened by his emotions.
Trust that you’d always appreciate his existence.
Trust that he doesn’t need to do anything grand to keep your love.
Trust that no matter what, you’d never be able to hate him.
Trey hates conflict. So much of his life is based around avoiding it.
But after Riddle’s incident he’s come to realise that letting something stew for too long will make the pot boil over.
Thus, someone who balances him out, knowing when to act to stop a problem in its tracks would be a godsend.
Someone who despite his ‘normalcy’ loves him for him. Not the completely average student, the kind and caring vice dormleader of Heartslabyul or the dental obsessed freak. Just Trey Clover. For all that he is.
Besides that, he’s always had a longing for domestic bliss. Icing wiped onto noses, matching aprons and the like.
If you were willing to live that out with him it would be all he needed.
While he does enjoy the occasional flirt, wooing him is as simple as that. Calling him out, loving every part of him and savouring the treats he’d made with you in mind.
Next thing you know, you’re receiving ulterior motive cupcakes every week!
#was brushing my teeth while thinking about what to write for trey#i hit myself in the gum really hard with the toothbrush cuz i got distracted#all i could think was trey would be disappointed ;(#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twst headcanons#malleus draconia#malleus draconia x reader#kalim al asim#kalim al asim x reader#trey clover#trey clover x reader#twisted wonderland headcanons
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Request: Coriolanus manipulates unpopular girl into marrying him for her parents money. She finds out that he manipulated her years later. Coriolanus actually started to loves her but the damage is done.
So Much More
A/N: I loved writing this and will probably write a part 2 at some point if people are interested!
Buy me a coffee :)
Even though you were considered to be a part of one of the richest families in The Academy, you were wildly unpopular with your classmates, most probably due to the fact you were so quiet and tended to avoid your other classmates whenever possible. This didn’t seem to deter Coriolanus Snow though.
Much to everyone’s surprise, Coriolanus always seemed to either save you a seat or sit next to you in class and talk to you. Much to your own surprise, this ended up with you dating Coriolanus and him bringing you everywhere with him, constantly wanting to show you off. When he proposed to you in front of the Capitol while he was being sworn in as President, it shocked you. Even though you were completely head over heels for him, there was always that niggling thought in the back of your head that he was with you out of pity.
It wasn’t until 2 years after your wedding when you overheard Coriolanus talking to one of his advisors that you really understood why he was with you.
‘Look, the money from (Y/N)’s parents pulled me and my family out of the gutter, I’m not about to throw her away now. Why do you think I asked her out all those years ago in the first place.’ The involuntary gasp that left your lips had Coriolanus’s head whipping around to face you, his eyes wide when he realised that you must have heard what he’d said.
‘That’s really why you asked me out? Why you married me, to get my parents money?’ you asked, wanting more than anything for him to tell you that you’d heard him wrong.
Coriolanus gestured for his advisor to leave the room as he stood up, making his way across to you. ‘(Y/N), you have to understand, when we met, my family were on the verge of losing everything. Your family helped my family to climb back up, we wouldn’t be where we are now without them.’ He tried to take your hands in his, frowning when you pulled away from him.
‘So, you were using me?’ you asked, your voice breaking slightly as you wrapped your arms around yourself.
Coriolanus sighed heavily, running a hand across his face. ‘At first I was. At first, I thought that dating you would be the perfect way to save my family because I could just leave you straight after.’ You couldn’t help but flinch slightly at his words, a movements that didn’t go unnoticed by Coriolanus as he stepped forward, this time, placing his hands on your hips as his nose brushed against your hairline. ‘But then, the longer we were together, the more reasons I’d found to not break up with you because I found myself falling in love with you.’
‘That doesn’t excuse the fact that you were using me, Coryo,’ you whispered brokenly, your hands coming to rest on his that were still on your hips. ‘I was madly in love with you from day one, it took me months to accept the fact that you felt the same way, so finding out that you were lying the whole time - ’
‘I do feel that way now, baby. That’s the point I’m trying to make,’ he interrupted you, his fingers squeezing tighter onto your hips. ‘I was desperate, I would have done pretty much anything to save face. When we were at The Academy, I didn’t think you meant anything, but you mean so much more to me than I ever thought possible.’
As he was speaking, you felt tears pool in your eyes as you were hit by a wave of conflicting emotions, your love for him and the betrayal you were feeling being the main two at war inside you.
‘I just don’t think that I can carry on being married to you, knowing all of this, I don’t know if I can trust you anymore,’ you said quietly, letting your tears fall in streams down your cheeks.
‘Don’t say that,’ Coriolanus said, his voice almost sounding like he was begging as his voice cracked. He leaned in to press a kiss to your lips, only for you to turn your head at the last minute, his lips grazing your cheek. A single tear traced down his cheek. In all the years you’d known him, you’d never seen him lose his composure like this, even when he was caught out for cheating while he was mentoring Lucy Gray in the 10th Hunger Games. Seeing him like this was making you want to pull him into you and tell him that you loved him and you forgave him, but deep down, you knew that whatever relationship the two of you had was pretty much damaged beyond repair.
‘I should probably go. We can talk more about this when I’ve had time to think,’ you said, trying to free yourself from his grip.
It was as if your words had caused a flip to switch in Coriolanus as you watched his body stiffen and his eyes instantly grow colder. His grip on you tightened even more to an extent that you knew that you were 100% going to have bruises from where his fingers dug into your skin painfully.
‘You’re not going anywhere,’ he said in a cold, almost lifeless tone.
#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus snow x reader#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the hunger games
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imagining an alternate ending scenario where cas comes back (handwavey, thanks jack/whatever) and he and dean talk about The Confession after some sort of episode-long miscommunication/avoidance as usual and they get together. but i’m imagining the aftermath of this, where they’re getting used to permitting themselves the casual intimate touch that comes with the new emotional territory and dean is working up the nerve to tell sam so he keeps shrugging off cas’s hands or taking his own back or inching away whenever sam comes in, and eventually sam is like “*scoff* dean, im glad cas is back, too! you don’t have to hide it. it’s not like i’m going to think you’re gay or something.” thinking he’s lightening the mood and taking a weight off of dean.
however. lol.
after this dean keeps trying to tell sam that actually he and cas ARE in love. unfortunately sam is convinced dean is pissed about the gay comment and being weirdly PA about it, and he’s mad that deans dragging cas into his charade because why else would dean be sitting in cas’s lap or petting his hair or getting cas to put his hand in deans back pocket???? he GETS it, okay! dean doesn’t have anything to prove to him! can he just leave cas out of it??????
this would be a 2-3 episode long conflict. in my heart. which is only resolved when sam walks in on them hitting fifth base in the dean cave and is like. okay. well. i don’t think that was for my benefit whatsoever. going to go as far away as i possibly can and scrub off my brain.
#and then for like 2-3 eps afterwards cas and dean are soooo pointed about it#sam apologized right after a cold open and dean is going to give him a hard time about it forever#the only other person who doesn’t believe they’re together is claire.#she thinks this is their really bad way of being supportive about her and kaia#but this only lasts until she sees them in person and then she’s like oh god. gross.#✍️
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a message from your pain
talking about suffering is hard, but ultimately necessary. welcome to this pac, I am here to shed light on your wounds in ways that are helpful. by the way, sorry if the artwork is triggering, I tried to find the perfect ones that really encapsulate what deep pain and despair feel like, but the messages might be more soothing than the pics lol.
welcome to your reading ! just wanted to say thanks in advance for stopping by 🫡
Pile one 🖤
You're putting your sword down. Confrontation is a no no for you, isn't it? You rather die than pick up a fight again. You swallow your words, your boundaries are non existent, you're constantly on edge and anxious. Hear me out, pile one. When you're putting your sword down, you're not actually putting it down. You're shoving it right in your own stomach. I'm not telling you to become angry and start fighting everyone around you. But if you keep quiet, taking it all in, you're going to become sick. You want to keep the peace, but not your peace. You want to keep yourself small, not bothersome, for these people's comfort. If talking to the people around you is so conflict inducing, why bother having these people around at all? If your boundaries aren't heard or even allowed to be set, why bother having these people around you AT ALL? If you must live with them, consider moving somewhere more peaceful, like a family member. Take action if your words aren't welcomed. Leave. Remove yourself. Stop taking in poison, because the longer you do, the longer the healing will take. You're already feeling awful. Your suffering exist because you feel obligated to be around people who hurt you and demand you to be silent. Set yourself free. And don't try to talk to them about it. You will have to unpack all of this on your own, or with other people who will understand and hear you. Process everything you buried deep within you by journaling, speaking out loud, punching a pillow. Just let it all out. Short them you will have to slowly heal from all this crystalized, internalized abuse. Long term, recognize this pattern: whenever you feel the need to be quiet to not bother someone else, leave, and never go back to the people who did this to you.
Pile two 🖤
Oh, your pile actually resonates with the pic you chosen. I see an artist, a creative or someone who does something out of the norm. You could even be a witch, like me. The thing is, you have internalized a lot of criticism, and no longer feel as passionate as you did before. You want to create and be who you were before, but you lost your drive and motivation. It seems a lot of conflict used to exist or still exists because of your hobby, career or spirituality, and you felt like it lost the point. You could've tried to prove something to these people, you could've tried to argue, and nothing worked. Even your own progress wasn't matching to your expectations. So what if they were right? Your spark died, but now that you have worked so hard, it's hard to let go. It became your personality, it used to be your comfort, but now there's only a shadow of what it used to be. I'm not going to tell you whether you keep going or not, this is your decision. But you can regain the spark if you want to. But try to protect it better this time, whatever it is that you do. Hide it, if it is possible. Avoid taking about it to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. And go backwards. Reconnect with it, by understanding what made you so fascinated and entranced by it in the beginning. Maybe, that vision is no longer appealing, and if so, create another one. Restart from scratch, but have a vision, just like you did in the beginning. Say to yourself you are committed to falling in love again with your craft, if that's what you choose. If not, it's always ok to let it go. You can always find another something to be passionate about.
Pile three 🖤
Someone taught you that money was the only thing in life. That it defined your worth and value as a person. That nothing else was as important. That your safety was defined by the amount of money you had, from a young age or a very vulnerable period in your life. So your mind attached to the idea that if you didn't had money, you were in mortal danger, you were worthless and a nobody. Your relationship with money, regardless of how much you have or not, is distorted. You could be stable and still feel like it's not enough, or you could be just starting in adulthood and feeling very scared of the future. Money is important, yes. But it's exactly this fear, this pressure, this feeling like your life depends on it, it's paralyzing you, it's traumatizing and deeply agonizing. What will help you is basically lots of cbt. Ever heard of catastrophizing? Cognitive distortions? These could be playing a large role on your mindset and consequently, the amount of money you're able to make. These tools of cbt can help you relax and see things a bit more rationally. Since it's personal to each of you, I cannot fix your fears, but I can give you some of my tools for you to fix them yourself.
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I'll Make You Believe
While the whole "asking a ghost how they died is the worst taboo ever, so don't do it or you'll be in a world of hurt" headcanon is always fun to implement to either create temporary conflict or simply move the story along, I think it'd work just as well on both ends if it was only a minor offense.
Like if you were to ask a once living ecto being how they died the most negative response you'd get would either be some variation of "None of your business puny mortal" or an explanation using the most vividly graphic, stomach turning details as an act of petty revenge as well as insurance you never ask again.
So what could possibly be a way more serious, far more dangerous no-no when it comes to ghosts instead? Well, how about stating ghosts don't exist/there's no such things as ghosts? The reason why being you're invalidating the trauma they've experienced in their last moments.
Makes no difference whether you were aware of this or not. If they find out or worse, it's said to their face? You better hope they'll settle for beating you black-and-blue. Because the alternative is becoming a ghost yourself by the time they're done with you.
Now in dpxyj fics when Danny interacts with Wally and the whole "ghost are/aren't real" argument between them comes into play it's usually depicted as a trivial disagreement. But what if you were to make it more angsty by inserting this take on lack of ghostly etiquette?
Let's say after getting to know his teammates better Danny starts talking about his origins (in vague detail) and exploits, only to eventually be interrupted by Kid Flash declaring that he can't possibly be a ghost as they don't exist. And Robin, Aqualad, Miss Martian, and Superboy all become quite alarmed watching Danny go from easygoing to looking ready to beat Kid Flash to a pulp, as he's now fighting back his ghostly nature. To avoid giving in to the urge he abruptly leaves with a dismissive attitude, much to KF's confusion.
From there it spirals. KF, not realizing he's poking a hornets nest continuing to voice his skepticism whenever the opportunity comes up and each time Danny barely manages to keep it together. Until one day Danny in an explosive rage snatches up KF and in a tone colder than ice tells him he knows what he is, what he went through to reach that state, and that he has no need to justify any of it to him.
Then he leaves once more before he really loses it. Before going after him Miss Martian informs KF of how Danny opened his mind to her and that for his sake she hopes he never shares those memories of what he went through with him. Feeling bad now, KF tries to apologize once Danny returns. Which results in failure again and again since Danny keeps giving him the cold shoulder.
After having yet another apology disregarded KF, in mounting frustration blurts out that he wishes he understood what has Danny so convinced he's a ghost, unaware a certain wish twisting genie he was warned about had been invisibly lurking in the vicinity the instant Danny was elsewhere. Along with the rest of the regulars, as soon as KF's denials had spread to the Ghost Zone Desiree was on the warpath, intent on showing just how real ghosts truly were. By sheer spite and determination she beat everyone else to him, just in time to hear him say the forbidden word, presenting her with the perfect means of retribution.
With a "So you have wished it so shall it be" KF is magically transported to an underwater submarine, occupied by Black Manta. Unable to run as freely without potentially damaging the sub and causing it to flood, the fight upon his unexpected arrival is drawn out to the point KF starts to feel his hyper metabolism weakening him. It's when he's close to dying of starvation that one of the more incompetent goons sends him crashing into the stash of ectoplasm Manta had smuggled with the intent of using it to pollute the waters of Aquaman's Kingdom. The last thing KF sees before blacking out is Desiree looming over him with a smirk of satisfaction.
#dpxdc#danny phantom#young justice#danny fenton/phantom#wally west/kid flash#desiree#halfa wally west#new ghost do's and don'ts headcanon#denial of ghosts' existence is seen as crossing the line#even worst than calling them non sentient and non sapient#for ghosts it's the equivalent of an insensitive ignoramus telling a physically or mentally disabled person to stop faking#wow this just might be my longest post yet.#went on for way longer than i expected or wanted
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How They are When Jealous (Axis)
Headcanons for how I think the Hetalia characters would act when they're jealous of someone hitting on their S/O.
Italy: Feliciano doesn't doubt your love for a second, but he can get pretty jealous if a man is giving you extra attention, or outright flirting with you. While not one for conflict, he'd be quick to stand by your side and put an arm around your waist or shoulders, pulling you closer to him, all with a smile on his face as he tries to engage the other man in polite conversation. Feli will do his best to show that you're his without starting a fight. And if the guy is extra persistent, Feli will straight up tell the man that you're his before swiftly escorting you away from the scene.
Germany: Just like Feliciano, Ludwig doesn't doubt your love for him, not even for a second. However, the man does sometimes feel like he's not good enough for you, and sometimes wonders if you'll wake up one day and realize that you deserve better. He understands that he's not the most emotionally open, and that people are often intimidated by him. So when he sees another man flirting with you, he'll suddenly become very self-conscious. He may not say anything in the moment but might bring it up later at home. You'll have to reassure him that you love him, and that that's not changing anytime soon.
Japan: Kiku doesn't get jealous that often. Whenever someone flirts with you, he's able to largely ignore it. After all, you're a beautiful person, lovely, even. Who wouldn't flirt with you? But it would irk him a little if you flirted back with the other person. He also isn't above sending dirty looks or death glares to someone who's getting just a little too friendly with you. If this happens, and the death glare has no effect on the other guy, he'd be quick to respectfully tell him farewell and try dragging you away.
Prussia: Gilbert is no stranger to jealousy. As someone who's had unrequited feelings for someone before, he's no stranger to the pain of watching someone he adores being charmed by someone else. But make no mistake, Gilbert's a very proud man who will never admit to being jealous. What would happen is that, if he saw another man flirting with you, he'd be quick to slide on over and lazily wrap an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close and asking the man what he and his s/o are talking about. Placing extra emphasis on you being his s/o. After the two of you eventually walk away, he'd likely send the man either a death glare or a cocky smirk over his shoulder.
Romano: Alright, you think Ludwig is self-conscious? Lovino is worse. While Ludwig is used to people avoiding him because he's intimidating, Lovino is used to people just avoiding and leaving him in general. He's used to never being anyone's first, second, or even third choice. So when he sees another man flirting with you, his inner alarm bells go off. Immediately becoming confrontational, he'd put himself between you and the man and ask him who he thinks he's talking to, and that you're his. If the man doesn't bolt right then, you'd have to be the one to help deescalate the situation, leading to a possible argument/discussion at home. Is this a red flag? Yes, absolutely. And while he loves you, this is definitely something Lovino would have to work on in a relationship.
#aph#hetalia#aph x reader#hetalia reader insert#hetalia x reader#aph reader insert#hetalia axis powers#aph italy#aph germany#aph japan#aph prussia#aph romano#hws italy#hws germany#hws japan#hws prussia#hws romano#aph headcanons#hetalia headcanons#hws headcanons
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roses are red ~ damon salvatore;the vampire diaries
word count: 2936
request?: yes!
@faithiegirl01 : “Hi amor mio!! I’ve read though some of your other works and I absolutely love them. I was wondering if I could request a Hanahaki Disease fic with either Jasper hale, Damon Salvatore or possibly Steve Harrington? I’m just absolutely obsessed with these fics so so much right now. Useally I have a full blown summary to what I want with imagines, but this time I kinda just wanna let the artist do their thing. The only thing is that I don’t really like smut, but you can put it in if you want, I myself would just skip over that part. You don’t have to take this if you don’t want to, I just think it’d be a cute fic idea and that you’d write it very well.”
description: in which she develops a disease after realizing she’s in love with one of her best friends
pairing: damon salvatore x female!reader
warnings: swearing, mentions of a fatal sickness (Hanahaki Disease)
masterlist (one, two, three)
It was the way he looked at her; like he needed her more than the air he breathed. Like she was the most beautiful thing to ever walk the Earth. Like he wanted to worship the ground she walked on.
I wish he would look at me like that.
I don’t know exactly when I realized I had a crush on Damon. I had known him since he and Stefan moved to Mystic Falls. Of course, I thought he was attractive when I first met him, but I didn’t think of him in any sort of romantic way. At least, I didn’t think I did.
Until he told me he had feelings for Elena. Then, I started to have this bitter feeling towards Elena whenever she was around, especially when Damon was with her. It was like her very presence alone made me irritated and I couldn’t be around her for very long. Eventually, I was able to put two and two together to realize what was going on: I had fallen for the age old cliché of unrequited love for a friend who loved someone else.
It was so hard. I couldn’t just avoid Damon, he would know something was up. But watching him fawn over Elena when she was head over heels for his brother was extremely difficult.
Like right now, sitting at the bar in The Mystic Grill, watching Damon look at Elena and Stefan with this lovesick puppy look on his face. It was enough to make me want to order the strongest drink the bartender was allowed to give me.
“I’ll have what she’s having,” Damon said, finally tearing his eyes away from Elena and Stefan.
I rolled my eyes and muttered, “You have to get over her.”
He looked over at me. “What?”
I shook my head, realizing what I said would surely cause a fight. “Nothing.”
“No, tell me.” He didn’t sound mad, just genuinely curious. I could’ve made something up, or insisted it really was nothing. I could’ve easily avoided any sort of conflict.
But instead, I said, “You need to get over your feelings for Elena. It’s kind of sad to watch you pine over your brother’s girlfriend.”
The bartender passed us our drinks. I immediately downed the contents of mine, wincing at the bitter taste and burning feeling of the liquid running down my throat. Damon took a moment longer to drink his.
“You think I haven’t tried?” he asked. “To get over Elena? You think I want to feel this way about my brother’s girlfriend?”
“Drinking and having meaningless sex isn’t ‘getting over’ her,” I pointed out. “That’s just coping mechanisms. You need to actually move on.”
“I’m fucking trying,” he snapped. “But it feels impossible. She’s all I can think about. And she’s always at our place because of Stefan, which makes it worse.” He paused to take another sip from his drink. “Besides, it’s not like there’s anyone in this town that I would consider dating.”
His words felt like a knife through my chest. I could feel a lump forming in my throat, but I couldn’t let him see me cry. If that was how he felt, then fine. But it didn’t make his confession hurt me any less.
I ordered another strong drink before saying, “Well, maybe you should try at least. It’s annoying to watch you go after your brother’s girlfriend when she’ll never feel the same way for you.”
A tense silence fell over us. Damon downed the last of his drink before standing from his chair. He pulled some money from his wallet and threw it down onto the counter. I watched as he left the restaurant in a huff. Elena and Stefan shared a look before looking over at me, but I turned away before they could lock eyes with me. I had to admit, what I said was harsh. Maybe I shouldn’t have said it the way I did, but I just felt hurt. Not that he would know that, but my pain wasn’t making me think straight.
I took my drink and downed half of it in one mouthful again. The minute the bitter liquid was gone, I started to cough. I thought maybe it had gone down the wrong way, but then the coughing became harder until it felt like something was coming up in my throat. I quickly ran to the bathroom and collapsed next to the toilet just as something finally came up. I spit it into the toilet and sat back. I was absolutely shocked at what I had seen.
Several flower pedals floating in the water.
~~~~~~
A few days later, I was sat in my doctor’s office. After the first time at Mystic Grill, I had started coughing up more flower pedals. Even in a world that included vampires, werewolves, and witches, I had a feeling that throwing up flower pedals was not normal.
I thought my doctor would want to run some sort of tests to see what was going on, if he even believed me at all. I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. I barely believed it and I was the one experiencing it. But when I told him what was going on, his face dropped. I suddenly felt very nervous by his reaction.
“Miss. (Y/L/N),” he said. “This is...very serious.”
“I kind of figured,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.
He didn’t seem to appreciate the joke. “(Y/N), this is an illness that’s still very new. We don’t know too much about it yet because it’s very rare.” I sat up a little straighter, my heart starting to pound. “What we do know is that it’s called the Hanahaki Disease. It was first noted in Japan, thus the name being a combination of two Japanese words. There’s not a lot known about how someone gets it, except the fact that unrequited love is involved.”
Are you fucking kidding me?! I’m throwing up flowers because of my crush on Damon?!
“So, what can be done?” I asked. “There has to be a cure or something discovered for this, right?”
The look the doctor gave me didn’t give me a lot of hope. “There’s been attempts at a surgical procedure that will remove the flowers from your respiratory track.”
“Attempts?” That doesn’t sound promising.
“Well, the procedure works. The thing is...it takes away your feelings for the person you have unrequited feelings for. Feelings you will never get back. Which may sound like a good thing, but that includes friendly feelings. With this surgery, you’ll just become apathetic towards the person you had feelings for.”
Okay, that was definitely less than ideal. I would love to lose these romantic feelings for Damon. It would make seeing him fawn over Elena a lot less hurtful. But, if it took away all feelings for Damon, including friendly feelings, then our friendship really would be over, and I didn’t want to lose him as a friend. That was the whole reason I hadn’t told him I liked him in the first place.
“That’s the only way to get rid of this?” I asked.
“The only other way is if the love is reciprocated, and I mean romantically not just in a friendship way.”
Well, that’s not happening.
“Can I think this over?”
The doctor gave me a look that I could only describe as pity. “You can, but try to come up with a decision soon. This illness is fatal if left for too long untreated.”
That should’ve been enough for me to agree to the surgery on the spot. My life was at risk so the solution would be a no brainer to anyone else. But there I was, days after my doctor’s visit, sat in my house with no decision having been made. My condition was getting worse. I could barley go a few minutes without coughing up a flower. I knew I must not have too long left before the fatality of the illness finally got me. Again, that should’ve been enough for any normal person to choose the surgery immediately. however, I couldn’t make that decision when I knew it would mean I’d lose Damon.
I had been holed up in my room and basically pushed my friends away. I told them I wasn’t feeling well, but I didn’t go into any specifics. They still reached out to check on me, but I didn’t respond much.
I hadn’t heard from Damon at all since that night at Mystic Grill. That was probably for the best. Talking to him right now, considering my condition, was probably a bad idea and I’d prefer him hating me if I died over him knowing I was dying because I had feelings for him.
I was in bed in the darkness of my room when I heard a knock at my front door. I ignored it, thinking it was a salesman or something, and figuring they’d just go away eventually. But, when I didn’t answer, there was another series of knocks, followed by the doorbell ringing repeatedly. I sighed, which turned into another coughing fit and a few bright red pedals landing on my floor. I groaned and reluctantly pulled myself out of bed. It seemed whoever was at my door was not leaving until somebody answered. Maybe if it was someone annoying I could just cough some flowers on them and scare them away.
But when I opened the door, it wasn’t a salesman on the other side.
It was Damon Salvatore.
“You look like shit,” he commented.
“Thanks,” I croaked, followed by another coughing fit.
Damon’s face suddenly became serious as he reached out for me. “Jesus, you really aren’t doing well.”
“No, I’m kinda dying,” I responded before I could stop myself.
“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”
“No, Damon. I’m literally dying.”
I felt him tense. I started coughing again, this time actually coughing up a few flower pedals. I caught them in my hand before letting them flutter to the floor. Damon looked at them in a mixture of shock and confusion, before wrapping his arms around me and guiding me into my own house. I let him take me to my living room, and we both sat down on the couch. Damon took one of my blankets that I always left on the back of the couch and wrapped it around my shoulders.
“What did you do to make yourself start throwing up pedals and apparently be on the verge of dying?” he asked. He had one arm around me, and I let myself lean into him. I knew this was probably very bad for me, for my condition, but if I had little time left, I was going to allow myself to have this one moment with Damon.
“It’s some sort of new illness,” I said. “Something that starts with an H, a Japanese word I think the doctor said.”
“Geez, should I be worried about being so close to you then?”
I smiled. For the first time in many days, I was actually able to smile. “It’s not that kind of illness. The doctor said it...it stems from unrequited love.”
There was silence. I realized Damon had been running his hand idly up and down my arm. It felt nice. Despite having kept him away for so long, I was realizing now that I really did need to see him one last time. To just have one final moment of somewhat normalcy with him.
“So...you have feelings for someone...they don’t like you back...and now you’re dying?” Damon asked.
“Apparently so,” I responded. “It’s something rare, but it’s been happening.”
“Who would be stupid enough to not love you?”
I knew that shouldn’t have hurt me, but it did. It hurt because I knew he didn’t actually mean that. Not in the way I would’ve wanted him to. But I really, really wish he had meant it that way.
“Someone who is already in love with someone else.”
“Ah,” Damon said. “That’s...that’s rough.”
I nodded. “I guess you know how that feels.”
“I guess it’s a good thing I’m a vampire and can’t get these sorts of illnesses then.”
“Lucky bastard.”
We both started to laugh, until I started coughing again. This time, it was a lot harsher of a cough, and I coughed out more flowers than I had ever at this point. I hunched over as the flowers came up in my throat and fell onto the floor. My chest burned with every harsh cough, and part of me wondered if this was the end. Was I going to die next to Damon? The irony of that was not lost on me.
I felt his hand against my back as I finally stopped coughing. There was basically a bouquet of flowers at my feet now. It could’ve been beautiful if these plants weren’t the thing that was killing me.
Damon pulled me back so I was in his arms again. My eyes felt heavy suddenly, so I rested my head in the crook of his neck and let them close for a second.
“Can I tell you something?” he asked.
“Now is the time to,” I mumbled back. “Who knows how much longer I have left?”
I meant it as a joke, but I could tell he didn’t appreciate it as much as I wanted him to.
“I’ve never loved Elena.”
My eyes popped open and I quickly sat up to look at him. “What?!”
“Okay, I can’t say never,” he clarified. “I did have some feelings for her when I first met her, but then when she got with Stefan and...and when I met you...those feelings went away.”
“When you met me?” I asked. He nodded. “Damon...are you...are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
He wasn’t looking at me now. “Depends. What do you think I’m saying?”
“Are you trying to tell me that your feelings are for me, and not for Elena?”
He didn’t respond, but he didn’t have to. His body language said everything. Damon Salvatore loves me, not Elena Gilbert.
There was a million and one things running through my head. I had no idea how to even respond to that. I was sure this was all some sort of hallucination caused by the disease. Like I was getting to see the one thing I wanted more than anything before I died.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” I asked. “Wait, no, more important question: why did you always act like you were so in love with Elena if you never were?”
“It felt easier than trying to admit to you that I had feelings for you,” he said. “I knew you never would’ve looked at me that way because you saw me as a friend. And Stefan had already clocked that I had feelings for Elena when I first met her, so I figured I would just lean into that until I could find someone else that captured my attention the way you did. But I couldn’t find anyone else, because there isn’t anyone else who makes me feel the way that you make me feel.”
He barely had the final word out before I was lunging at him, pressing my lips against his. It was a forward approach, I’ll admit, but I couldn’t stop myself. It was the words I had been waiting to hear from him for so long, and now that I was finally hearing them, it was like I didn’t have control of my body. I acted before my brain could process what we were doing. It took Damon by surprise, but it didn’t take him long to start kissing me back. He moved me so that I was actually sat on his lap, my legs on either side of his. His arms pulled me as close to him as I could get.
We kept kissing like that for so long that I didn’t even notice the heavy feeling on my chest had lifted, or the fact that I hadn’t been coughing up flowers anymore. I was so lost in Damon that I didn’t realize that the disease had been cured. I didn’t realize until Damon pulled away from our kiss and looked at me in shock. “Holy shit, you look so much better.”
“What?”
“You don’t look sick anymore.”
I stood quickly and rushed to the nearest mirror. He was right, I didn’t look as sickly anymore. And I felt like I could actually breathe again.
“Whoa, that happened fast,” I murmured to myself.
“How did it happen?” Damon asked, appearing behind me. “I thought it was an unrequited love thing?”
I turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. “Damon...do you really not know who I was talking about earlier? After I literally just threw myself at you on the couch?”
I could literally see the gears turning in his head until his eyes lit up. “Me?!”
I chuckled and walked towards him. I cupped his face in my hands and leaned upwards to kiss him again. “Yes, stupid. I was talking about you.”
“You almost died because of me?”
“Kind of, but also because I was too chicken to tell you how I felt. But I’m not sick anymore.”
“Thank God for that.”
He pulled me in for another kiss. I never wanted to stop kissing him. I had never felt so good in my entire life. I just wanted to pause in this moment and live it over and over and over again.
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