#but god... I hope I represent myself well. If they don't like me they can stop me from doing the program

[girlscience]

meeting with the grad students in the center for fisheries and aquatic sciences in 30 minutes aaaa

[ilsolefiesta]

the unpleasant thing about asteroids

hello-hello, long time no see! this month has been crazy, but here we are again. today I want to talk about an important topic that might make some people disappointed or even angry with me. some might say that I don't understand astrology at all.  the issue I want to raise is the total madness surrounding various asteroids and their persona charts. take it easy, it's not more than a fun addition to "real" astrology. 

however, the fact that people have become suddenly obsessed with finding their Aphrodite asteroid in order to check if they are necessarily extremely beautiful... (note: guys, Aphrodite is simply the Greek name for Venus, which was already occupied...)

or Boda, for example. how will my wedding look? c'mon, Boda was only discovered in 1938. unlike the main planets and objects which have been observed since ancient times, and some for at least 200-400 years, modern asteroids discovered recently may not actually have any patterns yet. and the names are mostly given according to astronomical standards and the imagination of those who discovered them. sometimes, I come across really bizarre and far-fetched facts that are presented as genuine astrological observations. and many people become really disappointed when they don't find Fama in their 1st house/Leo/5 degree. do you want me to create a similar "100% true" fact right in front of your eyes? if asteroid Mr. Spock (2309) forms a conjunction with your Venus, then "Star Trek" is destined to be your favorite movie. (well, the asteroid actually gets its name from the discoverer's cat)  absurd, right? another example: there's an asteroid named Tomhanks (12818). oh. my. god. it falls to my 1st house! (I'm not kidding, btw) does it mean Tom Hanks has a great influence on my life or personality? I couldn't even remember his face until I looked up a photo...

want more? my best friend has a slightly unusual internet nickname. she calls herself "Stasik", which is a diminutive of a Russian boy's name. she has her own funny story about how and why she chose this nickname, and it has become strongly associated with her personality. guess what? exactly. there is also an asteroid called Stasik (4131) and it makes me feel cringey even to write that I've checked it... well, this name is literally a part of who she is, so there must be some connection, right? it's just in her 9th house. that's all. NOTHING special. I want to emphasize one thing: I'm not against asteroids, and I use them myself often. however, there is a point where it can become a strange form of self-made astrology with even less evidence than traditional astrology. everyone has the right to believe what they want, but my opinion is like that:

some asteroids, such as "Starr" and "Glo", don't necessarily make you a star, even if they are in a harsh conjunction with your ASC. and the absence of these asteroids in "important" houses doesn't mean you lack star potential. btw, why is "Glo" associated with popularity, actually? why can't it simply represent the fact that you smoke a tobacco heater of the same name lmao? I hope you understand what I'm saying. astrology is more complex than people think, which is why it's easy to manipulate facts. that's okay, but please stay rational. I always say this, but astrology can help provide insights, but it shouldn't define or rule your life. 

take care and thank you for reading! Picture credits: mine

[eluminium]

Skizz week day 2 lets GOO!!!!

I apologize for the lack of polish on these. I have seemingly caught a cold and am also in the middle of important schoolwork. But hey, it's better than nothing!

Anyway, this is kind of a sneak peek into an AU I've been working on. It doesn't have a name yet, but it sure exists! I hope I can post about it more when I have more things to work with!

Once again, thank you to @skizzlemanweek for todays prompt!

Prompt 2: Hybrid/AU

-

Impulse has lost his mind.

That's the only logical conclusion to this situation. To him sitting here on his dead best friend's bed while talking to said best friend who's apparently ascended to godhood? But he doesn't know what kind of God he is yet somehow? He also may have given Impulse some knowledge about the divine that Impulse is 75% sure he isn't supposed to know, even as his best god friend's semi-accidental oracle and/or priest. Probably. Maybe.

It's been a rough couple of hours, to say the least.

"Impulse! You're not listening to me!" A voice, Skizz's voice, echoes through his head. Impulses hands fly to his ears as he groans in pain. "Control your volume, dude! You're gonna blow out my ears!" He hisses.

"Oh...! Sorry...!" Skizz whisper-yells in response, although not without a mischievous giggle. Oh gods above, Impulse was gonna have to deal with SKIZZ. TALKING IN HIS BRAIN. UNINTERUPRABLY. FOR THE FORSEEABLE FUTURE. He shakes his head to try and get rid of that awful realization and quickly moves to change the subject before Skizz catches on.

"Alright, so. You became a God, but you don't know what of. So you appeared back here and found me. And you want me to help you figure out what you are the God of. Did I get that right?" He summarizes, looking at the faint blue outline of his best friend sitting on the same bed they spent years having pillow fights on in their youth-

Skizz sticks out his hand and does a so-and-so motion. "Well, yeah...But since I picked you as my oracle, as in my special important mortal representative guy, you're also gonna have to start my cult and get people to worship me!" He exclaims, clearly excited at the prospects. 

"Wow, we really got a Mr. Humble Guy over here," Impulse deadpans.

"HEY! You know I'm not in it for the fame, man! Even though I am really handsome and my godly muscles are huge!" Skizz huffs in mock offense. Impulse rolls his eyes in response.

But instead of another sarcastic quip, the barely visible parts of Skizz's face soften into something dangerously genuine. "I mean it, dude. Think about it. Think about how cool this is gonna be. Think about how deadly we are as a duo now that we have divine power behind us. Think about how many people we can help!"

"But we don't even know what you're the God of!" Impulse snaps with a glare. "How are we supposed to get people to join in on this when we can't gurantee anything?! And don't say 'We'll make something up', you KNOW I'm a TERRIBLE liar! I can't lead a whole freaking cult by myself! I need yo-"

His throat closes up. He can't say that. Because that would mean Skizz couldn't help him, that his best friend was...not with him in some way. That he was alone in this, for now. No, no it's too raw. He breaks eye contact as his eyes snap towards a corner of the room. He draws in a shaky breath and blinks rapidly. 

"Dipple Dop..." Skizz's tone is...sad. He reaches out towards Impulse before remembering that he can't really...touch him. Nor can he touch anything mortal, really. He needs belief for that, followers who believe in him. 

A sigh leaves him as he retracts his hand. "I know this is a lot for you. To be honest, it's a lot for me too. You're scared, and I'm scared. And you're probably thinking something like: 'This is a total disaster, we're so screwed'-"

Huh, that was...exactly what Impulse was thinking. To the word. Weird.

"-but man, dude, my homieh buddeah-"

Impulse can't help but snort at that one. The man is a god now, and yet he's still just Skizz.

"We got all the time in the world to do this. We don't have to rush this. We'll make a plan. We'll do our research! The big fancy library we used to study at had a bunch of books about the gods and stuff, remember? Maybe we can find the step-by-step guide to finding your godly trait and a "How to Cult for Dummies"! Gee, wouldn't that be convinient!"

They're both giggling now. Why? They don't fully know. Probably the absurdity of sneaking into a royal library to read the most suspicious books of all time is getting to them. But, somehow, there's a glow of warmth in Impulse's chest. A feeling he's been missing ever since Skizz unwillingly left the mortal realm for the divine.

Hope.

As the giggling dies down, a timid smile settles on Impulse's face. Gods, how does Skizz do it? How does he make Impulse believe in some new goal that fast? Well, he supposes he can blame it on magical god powers now. Hell yeah.

He takes a deep breath in, jumps off the bed, and stands up. "Alright, I'm in. What's the worst that could happen?" He says with attempted confidence. Despite Skizz certainly detecting his lingering anxiety, he jumps up (or well, floats) up in the air beside him with a barely seeable hand pumped up in the air.

"Allllright!!! Imp and Skizz are reunited and back on the case! I love it!" He cheers.

Impulse wastes no time in heading to their shared kitchen and grabbing a snack for the road. The library isn't far (perks of living in the capital) but hey, emotional rollercoasters tend to leave ya a bit tired. A snack for the road never hurt anybody!

Skizz unexpectedly chuckles. "Except that one time you decided to shove jello in your backpack," he points out.

Impulse freezes.

"...Are there more things in my head than just your voice?" He questions while slowly turning around to face Skizz. Skizz, in response, raises an eyebrow.

"Of course! I know everything going on in there! That's what happens between a God and their oracle!" He says like it's common knowledge.

"So you know all my deep dark secrets now?"

"Well, kinda!"

"Does the "kinda" include how much I missed you?"

"Awww yeah!!! I know you love me soooo muuuchhh now!"

"God damn it- I hate you. You SUCK." 

At Impulse's overly sulky tone, Skizz giggles like the sacred bastard he is. And once again, something cozy and soft glows and grows in Impulse's chest. It feels...good. Happy. Like it's right as it should be. And looking at the faded form of his best friend, he knows Skizz feels it growing too.

Maybe, even with all the responsibility and having Skizzleman but now with divine powers in his head 24/7, this won't be so bad. 

Maybe this could become something great.

[darklinaforever]

Well... People are aware that if some are not happy that Michael becomes Michaela and do not want Sophie to also become an individual of the opposite sex, therefore a man, for Benedict... well that's nothing have with homophobia ?

It's quite simply that we cared and care about these characters that are Michael Stirling and Sophie Beckett ?

Personally, I don't care if Benedict is bi. Who didn't suspect it after season 1 ? It didn't shock me at all.

But it's not because he is confirmed bi that some people should suddenly hope that Sophie becomes a man ?! For what ?! Sophie is a great female character ! And I don't want anyone to touch it ! At this point, I've been waiting for years for the Sophie in the book to meet the Benedict in the show (because I find the one in the book bland...). There is the potential for a great love story !

Look, I really understand the desire for representation, but there are other shows for that if you want !

Limit, if Bridgerton wanted queer characters, they could invent or take secondary characters for that ! Brimsley and Reynolds were excellent ! After all, they fill this show with a pretty unnecessary subplot ! They could have completely made up this type of plot which for the most part would have been much more interesting !

Moreover, Benedict could very well have had adventures with men during seasons 1 and 2 instead of always making him change female partners until making him have a threesome with another man, just before the season or he is supposed to marry a woman. No because if this is supposed to be a real arc of discovery and exploration for Benedict... well that's pretty damn botched.

It's almost like it's basically there to just confirm the suspicions about Benedict's bisexuality that have been there since the beginning of the show. There is no real discovery and really in-depth exploration. It's like it's there just to be there.

Again, it would have been much better, if the goal was really to have Benedict discover more about his sexuality, to see him explore it in previous seasons. Or simply from part 1 of season 3 and not just in part 2 ?

And obviously the people who are super happy about that (which is to their credit even if I don't think it was very well written) some want Sophie to become a man and... I clearly say no.

As much Michael we will say that I can accept it, because it makes (technically) sense since Francesca as a widow will not be obliged to marry again m, and I imagine that in this scenario she will surely succeed in having a son by John / fall pregnant shortly before he died so that she could continue to live peacefully in security and then experience her second romance with Michaela to represent the second chance in true love. On the other hand, I imagine that we will lose all this desire for motherhood that Francesca had in the book which had particularly touched me, but we will see what they will write to compensate. Until then I I really like Francesca from the show after all, so we'll see ! And then, I never deprive myself of a good romance between two women, so if it's done well I would surely appreciate it. But nothing will match Franchael's original story in my heart... They were objectively the best Bridgerton romance, as well as the best book. So it’s a real shame not to see it adapted for the screen.

But the central fact is ; Why touch on central romances for beginning ?

Once again, this has nothing to do with homophobia for the most part, but simply the fact of caring about these characters who basically come from the books.

My god, are you aware that some people who didn't want Michael to change sex or don't want the same thing to happen to Sophie are members of the queer community ?!

The thing is, I really hope Sophie doesn't get changed into a man. She is the best female character in the books for me and I don't want to lose her.

[infoglitch]

My very bad takes on rwby ships (the well known ones atleast. And yes most are jaune)

(i do not represent anyone except myself so do not judge others based on me because if you do. That's YOUR problem. Not the peoples you think I represent)

Hoi! I think its time I get crucified. Kidding obviously. This community isn't completely toxic, that much is obvious. Now let's get the obvious ones out the way

Bmblb.

Ok... time for the one I don't wanna touch because I don't have nice things to say.

Ok first. I don't mind this ship. Wanna get that out of the way because unlike most would assume. I don't hate or love this ship.

BUT. I got problems with how it was made fucking cannon. First off, fuck you rt and your "from the beeginning". I don't fuckin care how much you try to cover your incompetent asses. If the pants don't fuckin fit. Don't fuckin wear them!

Second. There was no real build up (you can argue there was. But it wasn't good. Anyone could have done a better job than rt). The only real thing that could "prove" this was planned was that yang "flirted" with Blake. Now you might be saying-

"oh but she explained her trauma to Blake that clearly means shes interested in her" in which. NO. Yes this moment is VERY good basis to build off these twos dynamic. And if rt kept building onto this by having yang slowly break down Blake's wall before eventually getting her to open up, I would be applauding rt for it, hell I would be a fan of it probably because for these two, it fuckin works! Blake clearly is alot more reserved and is rather prickly meanwhile yang is the rambunctious, ass-whooping, badass, and overall awesome ball of joy (sounds weird saying especially since yang is my favorite character). yet rt dropped the fuckin ball the moment sun showed up. Now I love sun and i enjoy black sun. But for the love of GOD if this shit is from the beginning than this clearly proves it was fucking not!

After volume three who did blake spend most of the time with in menagerie and rt was clearly trying to push? Not bmblb! BLACK-FUCKING-SUN. Let's give a round of applause to RT for making the dumbest decision of saying bmblb was planned from the start because bitch it was not.

And what did we get for yang. Oh only her trauma from one losing an arm and the fact she has PTSD from it. Oh yeah let's not forget the fact yang had ABANDONMENT ISSUES. Yet the moment her and Blake meet back up suddenly it doesn't fuckin matter because Weiss managed to somehow fix it by telling yang that Blake had suffered as well (i know that's not exactly what happened but point is I fuckin HATE the scene where Blake rejoins the team and yang is just "OK! I totally still don't have problems with the fact you left me and the team at both my and our teams lowest moment." Personally fuck you rt)

.....where was I again? Oh yeah rwby ships. So before I fuckin lose it at rt's incompetence at story telling, developing a romance and character building- let's move on to..... whiterose.... SON OF A BIT-

Whiterose

Look does the fact I don't care for BB and the fact I hate white rose with such a burning passion make me look like a misogynistic homophobic asshole a bad thing? Yes. But I just can't enjoy this damn ship because I just find it so FUCKING BORING!

I get it, it's "opposites attract". But I just don't care because this is so boring and basic that I can't even be glad a gay ship is actually popular instead of the same boring straight pairings.

I don't care if ruby could help Weiss be less of a bitch. Because that troop has been done to fucking DEATH.

There's not even the fact that it be a middle finger to Weisses dad because guess what he's already got his comupance and is also you know, FUCKIN DEAD. There's no satisfaction from any of this ship for me. Is it a bad ship? Fuck no we aren't even going to cover THAT!

But do I like this ship and hope it'll be cannon? No. And if it is? I won't care and I'm not even gonna celebrate it. You can take a fat piss on my grave before I say whiterose becoming cannon is the only option.

Now what ship is next- oh. Oh no. It's the ship everyone enjoys.

Arkos

Look I'm already gonna get fuckin crucified for my opinion of WR and BB. I don't feel like pissing off even MORE people!

... ok fine I'm saying my opinion.

I don't care for this ship. I don't care for pyrrha and I'm actively glad she is dead.

I won't even elaborate because this ship is dead and will gladly piss on its grave.

Rest in piss arkos. Overrated as fuck!

Next up is... rose garden. Finally a ship I dont mind supporting... but also... one thats gonna be hard to say

Rose garden

Look... their just fuckin cinnamon rolls and I love it!

"but you hated arkos yet both jaune and pyrrha were cinna-"

Uhp! No! None of your bullshit. But I will explain.

I don't care for arkos because I don't care for the fact pyrrha has no development. Not even a personality. She was always "the one girl that has feelings for jaune" which don't get me wrong, jaunes one of my favorite characters but I prefer the character he would be shipped with are actually characters and not... cardboard.

Now thankfully Oscar does not suffer the same fate. He's not infatuated with ruby, he is just a "kid" who just found a wizard stuck in his head and now he's off into a war he never knew about. He was timid (batshit terrified even) and yet when he sees the courage shown by the cast he slowly tries to be like them. with the moment between ruby and Oscar being a moment I fuckin love. Oscar is being honest and asking ruby why, why does she keep fighting? Keep marching into a unknown war that could very well kill her. And ruby simply answers by admitting she Is aware she might die, she even lost good people during the fall of beacon but she kept going because she wanted to be a huntress, she wanted to HELP people.

One of the many reasons I love rose garden is because these two fuckin dorks grow WITH each other instead of the simple "oh I'm the love interest of the main character I'm gonna be a cardboard cutout of the character I should be!".

I can't put it into proper words but I just love rose garden.

Whiteknight

Wait... are we actually talking about white knight and not another ship that I probably don't care about and get crucified because of them?

FUCK YEAH!

Gentlemen and ladies. I am proud to say I am whiteknight trash because damnit I love this ship.

I will say it now this ship is the shit that gives my Tumblr account LIFE. And like rose garden I can't even find words to describe how this ship makes me my brain go up with dopamine. This ship is just my favorite ship. Weiss and jaune have had so much buildup. Starting with jaune being a idiot and trying to flirt with a very much more cold Weiss (HA) To Weiss laughing at jaunes reaction to his voice after the high of depression that was V9! The little smile jaune had as he heard Weiss giggle. To the mother fuckin mature scene that has skyrocketed to memehood! I just love this ship because it is just everything I want out of a romance subplot!

Knightshade

Oh... oh we already at some.... unpopular ships.

Now this isn't exactly ship related as pyrrha was to arkos but I just don't like Blake, so you might be thinking "oh then you must hate knightshade". Well..

You.

Are.

WRONG!

I don't know why I like it I just like knightshade. It's cute, it's got enough crack to make it a crack ship, and the memes! The. Fuckin. MEMES.

God I love knightshade.

Knightfall

So... how do I say this?

I love this ship. Not joking I love this. I'd be peeved if this became cannon but as syndrome once said

"OH COME ON! YOU GOTTA ADMIT THIS IS COOL!" (Man was a salty man and died like a BITCH)

As to why?

The

Fuckin

ANGST!

I could write an entire fanfic of jaune and cinder fighting each other for days on end until jaune fucking loses but instead of killing him cinder just lets him live. To continue to fight as she gets some sick enjoyment from the attention.

That's all. (Also cinder please choke me with your thighs-)

[GLITCH HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY BANNED.]

Alright I'll behave. No thirsting, now onto.... Lancaster.... you know I can't tell if I want to be killed or be celebrated as a fuckin gift because this list is bizarre as fu-

Lancaster

.... where do I begin?

Ok I should probably state this now. I love this fuckin ship despite how... cliche it really is. I want these two dorks to be fuckin happy but I just can't say whole hearted this is my otp. It's just not for me, I'm sorry. But as you all know I have written.. some.. Lancaster fanfics (I am absolute jaune shipper trash, you can Bury me before I say any jaune ship is terrible except THAT! Even arkos ain't bad just overrated!)

But... yes I like this ship that why I'm writing fanfics in the first place I like alot of jaune ships (despite how much I hate THAT!) Because we'll most female characters that I pair with jaune have atleast some form of interaction. (Except silent knight. I just like that one because I like the "small murderous and tall gentle" dynamic. But we aren't covering silent knight.)

Now thats all I could say for Lancaster but there's one more sister that I wanna talk about but first.

For runner up on this list. Drum roll please.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Thank you-

.....

Huh I guess that drummer wasn't as dumb-

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Ok fuck you, your fired!

Now for runner up on this list (mainly because I like it but I don't have much to say-)

Martial arcs

(ha bet y'all rat bastards weren't expecting me to list a gay ship that I liked.)

Now all I have to say is.

🎶let them be fucking gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!~

OH YEAH!🎶

Now onto... my favorite one thats not white knight. The one, the only, the truest form of "what the fuck is glitch snorting"-

Dragon slayer

This is the one ship that has continued to be a ship I love dearly.

To me yang and jaune feel like they would be each other's wing(wo)man and would just be an ride to watch.

There wasn't even any evidence in why this ship could happen. But I still love it. Y'all can call it "just a write inserting themselves as jaune" but let me say this.

Dragon slayer is the Pinnacle of the most wholesome moments! Not even Lancaster can compare to the intimacy of this ship and yes! I AM TALKING OUT OF MY ASS BECAUSE I LOVE THIS STUPID SHIP AND AINT NO ONE TELLING ME I SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

....

Ok I think that's enough talking about Rwby ships for one Day because I've caused three things.

1) probably pissed off arkos, BB, and WR shipers.

2) weirded out quite literally everyone with my batshit insanity.

3) probably started a debate on what I mean when I say "THAT!"

Anyway have a great day/night/or what other time it is bitches, bros, and non-binary rat bastards

I'm off to get crucified because OH BOY did I probably poke the bear.

[rainbowchewynuggets]

Hello, I'm still here!

I just moved again, and I wanted to share some stuff I made before I did.

So I was working on an idea for an episodic serial comic about a small polycule with mild super powers trying to live a quiet life together in an apartment in a small city--hanging out, running errands, going to work, and trying to duck the feds who want to take them away to be "studied". Just a cute slice of life thing with some spice to heighten the magic and preciousness of mundane life.

It woulda been called UNSUCOTH (Untitled Supernatural Comfort Throupple).

I didn't get far into making it, and I may never. I think I started it because I felt really sad and lost and missed my hometown. And now that I live there again, I don't really feel that motivated anymore. I just want to go outside all the time lol.

But here's the cast anyway because I love them, they're a part of me, and they may show up in later posts and projects regardless.

This is Chesah. They have psychic powers (largely Akira style, but they've always had a spiritual/emotional connection to the stars and are starting to think they can also talk to the dead). ((My notes also say they have acid blood? What??)) They work as a clerk/archivist in the filing room at a very outdated office. People leave them alone, so they get to use their powers to do their job and listen to music all day.

They are my inner goth who never got to come out.

This is Kanai. He can influence local temperature, air pressure, precipitation, plant life, animals, and kind of effectively the sun? A lowkey nature god, though he's too humble to claim the title. He splits part time as a line cook and a delivery cyclist. Really, he'd do any job where he gets to be in a group or meet new people.

He is the 90s beach dude I want to be.

And this is Briar. He's a shapeshifter who has used his powers to explore his gender and humanity, as well as extend his lifespan by hundreds of years. She does odd jobs--any relatively anonymous contract work she can get. It's safer that way of course, but he also enjoys trying new things and getting to blow in and out of people's lives like a phantasm (with the exception of Chesah and Kanai's lives--he loves them to death).

She is the metalhead I almost forgot I am.

------------

It's also worth mentioning that I had a funny little gender awakening after I started this.

Turns out I'm genderfluid! Yippee!

These three characters represent archetypes that have developed through my projects and hcs since I was 14. I always put a bit of myself into my ocs, but I put these three to paper and realized that they're much bigger chunks of me. All the stuff I'd been repressing all my life.

(Also, I should clarify that I'm a white redneck American. The ethnicities of the throupple obviously don't apply to me. They're based on other people I know or cultures I want to know more about.)

I especially looked at Briar and said to myself, "Oh, that guy really is just what I look like on the inside." So I named myself after him.

Can you do that? A reverse self-insert?

Still, all three of them have been my guides through this wacky, cool period of my life. I'm having all kinds of complicated feelings about it and am very slow in the process of exploring it as I put my new life together.

Look forward (maybe) to some kind of post about how agenderism, shapeshifting, and monster kinning factor into this. (Legitimately. I think it's really cool and I hope I can sort out my thoughts well enough to explain it.)

Anyway, thanks for reading.

Signed, BRIAR!!!

[bleachbleachbleach]

9/22 - 9/29/2024

Aaaaand several months later, Renji 11 is complete (again).

Which brings me to a couple additional milestones:

1) I finished a full draft of my banner!

My idea here is that each chapter would get some little icon that relates to something about the chapter, as well as the narrating POV's division flower. I'm trying to decide whether it matters if the item is, uh, legible. That's supposed to be a baggie of manju but they kind of look like tomatoes. Is it weird that the two images are totally different line weights? And even if it is, do I trust myself to draw 20 different glyphs with the same line weight?? The stamp effect/weathering could probably be more intentional--for now I quickly took a dry media brush to a Layer Mask to see if it could effect what I wanted. It's because I am bothered by the vector-smoothness of the weathering in the font itself when the text is that large.

Apparently I did the low-res mockup for this on December 14, 2023, so at least it's been less than a year?! It also means that I've continued to like this design, even after 10 months. (Here's the partial V2 I didn't move forward with.)

2) It's my first time in the six-figure club! Which is impressive to me, because I don't generally consider myself a longfic person, and I've never written a singular fic of this scale before, for any fandom.

At this point, this project is causing me a lot of cognitive dissonance, ngl. Because this fic represents the majority of my Bleach fandom experience (I've been working on it since 2021, and it's the sequel to my first two Bleach fics, which I wrote before we made this blog). In my mind, it basically IS my Bleach identity. But it's not meaningfully reflected in this blog, which is... well, it's us? B3 IS our Bleach identity? Not that our original posts are what the majority of people follow this blog for, but still. What an identity crisis!

The obvious solution is to post it, and I do feel like I've moved on emotionally enough from Part 1 that I could probably survive that! But I also kind of feel like, don't I already have plenty of things to survive right now? 🫠

--

I'm undecided on what I want to tackle next. I'd like to finish my revision round for Rukia 7 / Rukia 10 / Renji 11, but that's the kind of thing that requires more unbroken time, and that does not really work with my current "oh god 10 minutes, GO" state of being. So I feel like if I want to try that, I also need an additional place where all I need to do is drop in and write lines. They can't be in Hitsugaya 12, though, because I've written as much of that as I can without knowing how the Hisagi 9 revisions pan out.

I have distinct memories of having very pleasant daydreams about how those revisions should go (very specifically on US 127, in weather non-conducive to daydreaming), but I looked over those scenes last night and HAHAHA. I HOPE I WROTE NOTES FOR THOSE DAYDREAMS because while I do remember writing them as written, I do not have any distinct memories about how they needed to be changed, rip

[lingeronyourhazeleyes]

thanks for your tags on that nowhere boy post! I'm so curious what your thoughts are on the movie. When did you first see it? Are you a John girl? What are your thoughts on Mimi and Julia?

aww thank you for this ask 🥰🥰 (and i'm terribly sorry, i'm gonna leave a wall of text here, cuz I just can't resist the opportunity to yap about my Beatles-related experiences and opinions xd)

first of all, i don't really get why this movie tends to get so much hate (aside from the part where John hits Paui, and i really liked your insight that it was necessary to make the subsequent hugging and crying on each other's shoulders less gay - god i hate you late 2000's), because tbh this is my favourite Beatles biopic. Aaron Taylor-Johnson captures John's whimsical spirit quite well imo and even though Thomas Brodie-Sangster wouldn't have been my first choice for Paul, he's really good at being a charming motherfucker and a lil shit at the same time :D

i think i saw it for the first time in my late teens/early 20s with my mom and her husband, but i didn't pay much attention to the details then (given that i only had a very surface level of Betales-knowledge back then). I rewatched it last November though (in the midst of a full-blown Beatles brainrot).

Am i a John girl? Huh, i guess i'm something that people around here would call a John-coded Paul girlie xd nevertheless I aspire to be a Ringo in the lives of my loved ones

And omg your last question led me very far, but I'll try to be brief (edit: i failed lol) :D so, as i read your notes, i was very surprised that it's considered an anti-Julia and pro-Mimi film (and seeing the points you have raised, now i can totally understand why). For me (even on my first viewing) it was never a Julia vs. Mimi thing. I've read it as a John vs John conflict (and this is the point where i start talking bullshit and/or total banalities. Feel free to correct me or argue with my points :D i always fancy a good argument). I've always seen him as a man with two conflicting sides: one is the whimsical, creative, free but overly emotional (consequently kinda unintegrable (i'm not sure if it's a real word lmao i hope it is :D) into modern western society) side (enabled by Julia), and the other one is the abandoned little boy who only wants to be loved, and is therefore ready (or even needs) to be controlled and steered in "the right direction" by others, hoping that they would not abandon him this way (and this side of him is fed by Mimi in a way in my opinion).

In my reading, both mother figures embodied and enabled one side of John, while actively trying to suppress or outright hurt the other side -- as, I think, John did in his own mind, constantly berating and hurting himself in the process. I thought Julia was so antagonistic (and i guess i was waaay more forgiving of her than i think an average person would be, because unfortunately in many ways her behaviour reminded me of myself), because imo society tends to frown upon overly emotional, somewhat detached and destructive, but free-spirited and creativity-enhancing behaviour, while supporting Mimi's "behave according to unspoken social rules and expectation, don't change the status quo, and suppress your emotions"-mindset, that she represented in the movie and tried to instil in John. (Seeing Mimi handle (and making John handle!!) Uncle George's death with coldness and complete suppression of emotions was just as painful and infuriating for me as the scene where Julia sent John away after all the (sometimes creepily inappropriate) lovebombing.) I have a theory that Paul was so important to John because he not only accepted but straight-up embraced (dare i say served) both sides of him. But probably i just see too much into all this xd

Sorry for the long, messy (and probably borderline meaningless) reply 🫣 i happened to have waaaaaay too many thoughts 😭😭

[epicthemusical]

Angel Polites Collection Pt 1

Now some background. Angel Polites is also red star polites from the Crimson Star one shot here

Red Star Polites does not hesitate to kill those who harm/ severely disrespect Ody

now red star polites often dumps the bodies into the ocean which please Poseidon so when he dies Poseidon brings him back as a spirit representing loyalty (closest thing to an angel in greek myth) and becomes Ody guardian angel.

semi nude art of angel polites by Ardenzia777 on both twitter and instagram . anyway hope you enjoy!

It was Polites but he had changed since they had last seen him and was obviously a divine being. Polites has 4 brilliant white and gray wings behind him. The wings are somehow both elegant and strong, effortlessly keeping him afloat. Power and light pulses around him like a halo. He grips a golden spear in hand, the point gleaming dangerously. The most terrifying part though were his eyes staring down with an anger matched only by a God. They are a molten gold color, glowing with a red tint. 

“Poseidon.” The name echoes through the air with another pulse of light even without raising his voice. 

“I ask for you to not harm Odysseus.” Poseidon looks on annoyed 

“You have no say in this. Don't forget I am the one that gave you your spirit status and your power.” Polites simply glares 

“You made me into a spirit that represents loyalty and my loyalty has and always will belong to Odysseus. Have I not given you many sacrifices? The only thing I ask is that you leave Odysseus alone.” Polites grips his spear tighter determination in his eyes. 

“I am not delusional enough to believe i would win against you but i don't care.If you want to harm Odysseus you will have to kill me as well!” Posiden thinks a bit before the waves finally calm 

“Very well then I will let the mortal go just this once as a gift for all your sacrifices to me but don't expect any more favors in the future.” Polites nods and Poseiden sinks into the ocean.

Odysseus is finally able to breathe freely and he watches in awe as polites gently lands on the deck the light fades until its a light shimmer on his skin.He looks at Odysseus his eyes now a warm bronze color still faintly glowing and smiles brightly 

“Hey there Ody You miss me?” Odysseus finally stumbles closer before running into Polite's arms. 

“Polites…” Polites hugs him tight as Odysseus starts to sob. Polites gently wraps his wings around his friend giving him comfort and a bit more privacy from the others on deck. 

“It's okay, Ody let it all out. I'm here now.” The wings feel soft and the warmth of his friend brings him so much relief he all but collapses, Polites being the only thing keeping him upright. 

“I'm so sorry…Polites you died because of me..” Polites wraps his wings around his friend more firmly 

“No Ody im the one who chose to shove you out of the way of the club. I would never have forgiven myself if you died and I don't regret my decision. I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant you could be safe.” Odysseus cries some more before he manages to calm down. 

“What happened to you, Polites?” Polites continues to gently cradle Odysseus with his wings 

“Poseiden had taken a liking to me and decided to bring me back as a spirit, one that represents loyalty. I'm actually  quite happy with my wings. Maybe sometime I can let you fly with me! It's so freeing to be up in the sky!” Odysseus smiles at the obvious excitement and happiness in Polite’s voice 

“I would love that. I do have to admit you wings are beautiful…. You won't leave again right?” Polites sighs sadly 

“Unfortunately I'm not allowed to stay for very long. I will always be watching you though and whenever you need help I will be  there.” Polites eventually pulls back his wings and smiles at Odysseus 

“I'm sorry but I need to go now but if you need me just ask. I promise I will always be there.” Odysseus nods and returns the smile 

“Okay then bye Polites and thank you.” Polites fades away leaving no sign he was there except a single feather that Odysseus picks up.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Odysseus jolts awake with wide eyes, his breathing frantic. All he can think of is blood so much blood and everyone died because of him- Something starts to glow and he reaches out looking over the feather he had made into a necklace. Polite's feather was glowing a soothing golden color and he holds it close. Thats right Polites is okay he is not laying dead and broken in the cyclops cave. He puts on the necklace and as he settles down to try and sleep again he hears faint humming. Odysseus smiles and watches the faint glow and listens to the peaceful humming.He soon finds himself drifting off to sleep again with a smile, this time without any nightmares. Seemingly nothing but air brushes the hair from Odysseus face “Sleep well my friend.”

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Eurylochus walks into his room and starts getting ready for the night, he can't wait to lay down and relax. 

“We need to talk Eurylochus.” He jumps at the sudden voice and turns to see Polites standing there and he finds himself scared for his life. Polites never used his full name preferring to stick to nicknames and his eyes are glowing a faint gold. 

“Why did you think it was a good idea to open the bag that Odysseus specifically ordered nobody to touch?” Eurylochus gulps. 

“I don't know…” Polite's gaze feels like it's seeing everything he is hiding. 

“Do you regret doing it?” Eurylochus nods 

“Yes I really do. I should have just trusted him…. If you had not stepped in so many would have died because of me…” Polites nods 

“You are lucky, had anybody else opened that bag I would have killed them. I will give you another chance.” Polites starts to fade away. 

“Don't make the same mistake again or I can't guarantee your safety.” 

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Odysseus starts to climb up to the crows nest to watch for any possible danger but as he starts to pull himself up into the crows nest a particularly big wave has him slipping and he starts to fall. He closes his eyes and waits for him to hit the deck below only to feel someone's arms hold him up and gently place him onto the deck. Odysseus sighs in relief 

“Thanks Polites, that was a close one.” Polites pulls Odysseus into a headlock and ruffles his hair 

“You're always so clumsy! You really need to be more careful.” Odysseus pulls away from the hold with a huff working on fixing his hair. 

“Yeah yeah I know but that's what you are here for right? You always help me when I need it.” Polites hums and he stares up at the clear sky 

“Hey Ody the sky is so beautiful how would you feel about flying with me?” Odysseus brightens at the prospect of flying 

“Of course I would love to! How would it work exactly?” Polites laughs and simply picks him up from his armpits and flies straight upwards. Odysseus yelps at the sudden change, his eyes closed tight. 

“Come on, open your eyes, the view is amazing!” Odysseus slowly opens his eyes and then gasps at the view. The ocean stretches out endlessly glittering like jewels. Polites flies over and to Odysseus’s surprise lays back on a cloud. 

“You can lay on clouds now?!” Polites laughs and they watch the view for a bit.

”Hey, want to try something cool?” Odysseus nods and suddenly Polites grabs him tight as he grins mischievously. 

“Hold on tight then!” Before he can ask what he was going to do, Polites hops off the cloud and they start to plummet. Odysseus shrieks while polites laughs. Right as they were about to hit the water, Polite's wings unfurl and they stop in the air. Polites chuckles some more at Odysseus wide eyes and his messed up hair from the wind. 

“What..what was that for?” Odysseus asks out of breath. 

“I'm sorry i just couldn't resist” Polites smirks 

“Your shriek was pretty hilarious.” Polites lets his friend catch his breath as he flies back to the ship. They finally arrive and Polites once again places Odysseus gently onto the deck. 

“That was fun, I should take you flying more often!” Odysseus looks terrified 

“NO, no more flying!” Polite's laughter fades away along with him. 

“We will see about that”

—-------------------------------------------------------------

Odysseus sits down with a groan. It had been a long day and he is glad to finally be able to eat Dinner. He starts eating but eventually notices his food is disappearing. He looks around to see who it could be but when he looks down even more has vanished. He finally notices the feather was glowing and he sighs 

“Polites I know it's you, your feather is glowing. Hmmm do spirits like you even need food?” He hears a thoughtful hum 

“well I don't think so? I wouldn't know. I haven't been a spirit for very long so I still don't know how some things work.” 

“I guess that makes sense. I was just curious, you know how I am.” A chuckle 

“Yes I know you always want to learn more. I have never really understood how you could enjoy those lessons from the tutors.” Odysseus rolls his eyes 

“Yeah yeah. Can I see your wings by any chance? I want to see how they work.” Polites fades into view and offers his wing with a smirk 

“I know you just enjoy how soft the feathers are.” Odysseus clears his throat, obviously embarrassed at being caught 

“I have no idea what you're talking about.” Odysseus runs his fingers through the feathers with a smile. Polites sits down next to him and wraps 2 of his wings around him and he all but melts into the soft feathers. Polites reaches towards the food 

“Are you going to eat that?” Odysseus smacks the offending hand away with a huff 

“Yes, I'm going to eat it! Stop trying to steal my food!” Polites simply laughs 

“Okay i promise i will stop.” Odysseus finishes eating before he continues to run his fingers through the feathers enjoying how soft they are and cuddling into the warm cocoon. Eventually Odysseus falls asleep and Polites lifts him up and brings him to bed.He places a couple of his loose feathers that had fallen out on the nightstand for him to find when he wakes up.He starts to fade away again 

“Sleep well my friend.”

BONUS

This is how the first scene went originally until someone pointed out that Polites wouldn't be stupid enough to immediately pick a fight with the god that gave him his power. I really love how it had turned out so yeah bonus!

It was Polites but he had changed since they had last seen him and was obviously a divine being. Polites has 4 brilliant white and gray wings behind him. The wings are somehow both elegant and strong, effortlessly keeping him afloat. Power and light pulses around him like a halo. He grips a golden spear in hand, the point gleaming dangerously. The most terrifying part though were his eyes staring down with a fury matched only by a God.They are a molten gold color, glowing with a red tint. He points the spear at Poseidon, the very image of divine wrath.

“Poseidon.” The name echoes through the air with another pulse of power even without raising his voice.

“I will not let you harm Odysseus.” Poseidon grits his teeth before bellowing

“You ungrateful mortal! I bring you back as a spirit and this is how you repay me?!” Polites simply glares

“You made me into a spirit that represents loyalty and my loyalty has and always will belong to Odysseus.I will not stand by and watch you hurt him. I don't care if you are a God or that you brought me back as a spirit.” Polites drops into position ready to act at a moment's notice before snarling the last words

“If you want to hurt Odysseus you will have to kill me first!” Power pulses and clashes between the two as the waves grow violent and Polites starts to glow. At last the waves calm and Polites eases up on the light.

“Fine then for all the sacrifices you have given me I will let Odysseus go this one time but don't expect my help or favor anymore.” Poseidon melts into the waves and the ocean at last is completely calm.

[questiontocertaintyofreality]

Theory: Sigma's Identity is Lev Tolstoi

Decay of the Angels is a organization, equivalent of Russian literature in Bsd. There is something in the subtext that has been puzzling me since the first moment I saw Fyodor and Nikolai together.

Where is Lev Tolstoi in the BSD universe?

I thought for the first tims hat he would not be on the same side as Fyodor and Nikolai because of differences in philosophy and ideas, or that he would start on the same side and leave, etc. I was thinking about it, but Tolstoy did not appear in the story. So of coudse theory came to my mind.

Sigma, who is we don't know he's full identity" is actually Lev Tolstoi

I will explain everything in detail and at the end of these short paragraphs you will understand the logic of the theory. Now, I saw an idea at @bungoustraydogs-tr was written in just one sentence:

Sigma might be represent one of the building blocks of Russian literature, Gorky or Tolstoy.

is it possible ?

I think: (Drum voices)

He could be

Let's dive to the point. With his own words and writing, Lev Tolstoi is constantly searching for something that can be called internal and tries to understand his own self, why he is alive, what is being a god etc. He explains that he is trying to understand. He thinks day and night to prove to himself how the value of life is determined and the existence of the God he actually believes in. He is similar to Sigma, who does not remember his memories, does not actually have a sense of self, and therefore tries to understand the world he thinks he lives in. Tolstoy's sense of self was also undeveloped. At the same time, Sigma existed in the middle of nowhere, meaning he had no choice but to seek values, vitality, and purpose. He thought he had to follow the path given to him. To follow the path promised to him. Rules made by destiny , well, sound familiar to someone also to someone's characters . Tolstoi

At the same time;

"The view that knowledge acquired through reason leads to error helped me to save myself from the wrong path of indulging in unproductive thoughts. The certainty that knowledge of truth can only be found through life called me to doubt the correctness of my life. Despite everything, I was looking for God, I was hoping to find Him, and I was directing a prayer to the God I was looking for and couldn't find, as was the old custom. Sometimes I was weighing and measuring Kant's and Schopenhauer's facts about the unprovability of God's existence in my mind, and sometimes I was trying to refute these facts."

These are the sentences coming from Lev Tolstoi's own mouth.

Second thought for the theory;

When Sigma was born in the middle of nowhere, he had a ticket for a train that wasn't in the desert.Simple. Anna Karenina. Anna Karenina is a book that begins with children playing with trains, and the train has an importance that cannot be hidden in terms of the plot. Even though I haven't personally read it, I researched that trains were important to the book.

Second thought for theory;

When Sigma was born in the middle of nowhere, he had a ticket to take a train that wasn't in the desert. Simple. Anna Karenina. Anna Karenina is a book that begins with children playing with trains, and the train has an importance that cannot be hidden in terms of the plot. Although I haven't personally read it, I researched that trains were important to the book.

Thirdly, while thinking about religion and morality, Tolstoy, like most people, thought that the world in which a religious person lives was not the most important fact. He had no ambition, but he took good care of himself because he valued life. Sigma voided a gamble at Sky Casino, giving its customer a second chance. Sky Casino was life for Sigma and he nullified one of the game his customer play so Sigma think games aren't important as his customers views. In fact, the search for talent emerged in parallel with acquiring knowledge.

I can believe Asagiri doesn't want t add Tolstoy but after all the authors reveal in story.... Also Sigma isn't count as a villiain after all and Lev Tolstoi really want to see himself as a better person, this is kinda a obsession to him. So, this theory might make sense

[olasketches]

i came across your "megumi has the narrative traits of a protagonist story-wise" post recently and smth u said about him needing to let go of tsumiki confused me. why does he need to? i dont think she was ever an obstacle for him at all (except rn but like. Sukuna literally planned it that way so i dont think it really counts) so i was wondering if u could elaborate on that part if u can; esp what it means 4 his character

oh but I don't think megumi needs to let go of tsumiki, quite the opposite tbh. what I said in the post you mentioned...

"the fandom often thinks of tsumiki as an obstacle in megumi's growth, which well... they're not really wrong but many stans forget that it's mostly thanks to tsumiki, megumi is the person he is today."

megumi's relationship with tsumiki is quite complicated considering we only see it through megumi's flashbacks. I think megumi's problem was that he idealised tsumiki. in his mind she was "the good one" she was the one who deserved to live and have a good life. megumi struggles with low self esteem and he doesn't really see himself as a good person, which is probably why the fandom (or from what I've seen in) thinks her death is a good thing for his development (and in a sense I agree) because he can now let go of her and the idolised version of her he had in his head (and that's the part I don't really agree with anymore).

going back to my previous post, I think it's mostly thanks to tsumiki, megumi is the person he is today. megumi doesn't think of himself as a good person, like tsumiki and yuuji (god Im repeating myself lol), but the thing all the good parts of him, all the things that make megumi so megumi and all his core beliefs are the things his sister taught him.

I often see other stans saying how megumi needs to let tsumiki go or at least the idolised version of her and be more selfish, but I personally think (and I might be totally wrong about this) that megumi needs to accept her (or part of her that lives with him) in order to accept himself.

megumi is a character who is often defined by his shadows. his curse technique is basically a "shadow". he has locked up his emotion in his shadow (or in other words repressed them). everything about his character links one way or another to his shadow, even his sister took a form of his shadow later in the manga...

but I find it interesting how when he says "I don't want to see a good person, no matter how dangerous, die." we can see a panel of tsumiki surrounded by sunflowers and sunflowers often symbolise happiness and good fortune. they also often represent hope as the very nature of sunflowers is that they always seek light.

despite the shadows that has been following megumi's whole life, I believe that at the core, he is someone who also wants to seek light. the problem is that megumi doesn't really allow himself to do that due to his trauma. he can't truly accept tsumiki because he doesn't accept that part of himself. in order to accept that part of himself, he needs to accept that he is just as capable of goodness as tsumiki and yuuji, that he is more than his trauma and shadows. that it's okay for to seek light too.

[denimbex1986]

"...when you're casting, you always hope that you're gonna get the right people, and I think - clearly - we got the right people, so it was amazing."

"...I knew before I signed on that I was going to love working with you, and then everything kind of fell into place when we were together on set...it just felt very natural and kinetic."

"Kinetic, no less. Kinetic. Um, yeah, it was. Magnetic. Ecstatic...it was a pretty instant connection; yeah, it really was."

"...Claire and Jamie are just the most fun, brilliant, playful people...and you draw a little bit from your own life, yeah, definitely, but um, you know, it was - it's just an act of imagination. And I think that's why audiences really love it because it's a - such a beautiful premise for, for a story..."

"...music is such an amazing way to bring you back...you feel like you used to feel when you were young..."

"...I want to try and keep the set small...especially for like the sexy scenes...for those scenes we let everybody come in; Andrew wanted everybody there..."

"...I think with characters like Harry - I feel like I took; I feel like I see a lot of my friends in someone like Harry, okay, like - and bits of myself for sure, where you have this kind of highly, high-functioning kind of party boy that on the surface - like the minute you scratch beneath the surface, he's kind of drowning. And I think that's true of a lot of young men and lots of young men. It's getting better, but there's a struggle for young men to articulate actual pain - and I think this film illustrates that beautifully, so I think I took; I recognised young men in today's society in the film with it."

"For me the, the big takeaway genuinely like - the more I work, the more I realise the process is nearly equally as important as the actual product itself and, um, this really isn't PR speak; it's so important when you're, when you work on something as intimate and, uh, complex as this, uh, that you make real friends and the big takeaway - you know, when you're doing, you're doing something like this and you're promoting it, you enjoy it - you feel so proud of it because the process was such an amazing experience as well as the product being something that everybody loves. So the big thing that I, I've taken away is, is, is, is, is friends, you know? And, and, and friendship, definitely, definitely."

"...I think, I think when I was a little less self-accepting; I mean all actors are completely different, it's - accents are so personal I think - and before I really loved using an accent, and I still do sometimes, but on this one, there was something about it that, that we talked about you know where, where it was set and how, how Irish I should be essentially. And I suppose it wasn't necessarily about an accent, but just a complete absence of any kind of extraneous things that you might need. Um, and so for this one it, it didn't seem important but I don't know - it's really interesting. I, I, I just - the only thing I think about it ultimately is that I still - I, I really believe now that acting isn't about pretending to be someone else; it's about finding who, who you are through, through a sort of weird filter and still in some ways remain - remaining intact. It's a, it's a, it's a fucking mental thing to do for a living..."

"...I love the fact that anybody of any walk - you know, walk of life - can, is, is now repres - represented in places like The National or the Royal Shakespeare company or The Abbey Theatre, whatever - it should be. Acting is for everybody; it's not - I hate the idea of it being an elitist art form."

"...I think Andrew is a genius of kind of using his own voice but finding the idiosyncrasies of the character..."

"...I understand the concept of queer joy and how we need to see queer joy. I like to see it as well...there's always so much pain in a lot of queer people's lives - it's getting so much better, thank God - but especially people who are my age and older people; and so I wanted to make a film that was about those two things existing together - that it can be really painful but you can persevere and find a way through it to find something better. And that to me is I'm not wallowing in queer pain; I'm realising that it's there and then trying to find a way through it to get to something happier and more content I suppose."

"I feel like Andrew - I feel like within us, myself and Andrew were always very keen that those - especially the intimate scenes - I always felt like we, we had an opportunity in what Andrew wrote to play something that felt really intimate...the sex scenes aren't like, grabby at all, which was really important to us, that there was a real tenderness to those sex scenes, and I'm really proud of what those scenes do on the screen, for me when I see it, yeah."

"Yeah, and I think it's about like; I don't think a film like this resonates with a lot of people if it has a sort of very specific almost cynical attitude about encapsulating what queer joy is. But something about it has encapsulated people and it's completely magical and I think it's just to do with authenticity - and I, I think the thing that's remarkable about it is I think what can be very insidious and very reductive for a lot of queer people is that they're just represented as people who are, um, in relation to their sexuality, and I love the idea that you see both queer grief and queer joy represented in relation to how they are with, uh, their families, and how they are, um, aside from their sexuality; that, that, you know, coming out I always say has nothing to do with sexuality.

When people are coming out to their parents, they don't feel frisky, they're not thinking: 'I'm feeling sexy now', you know, they're feeling - they're talking about something that is very, uh, personal to them, and what they're thinking is: 'I really hope you accept me, uh, when I tell you something that I haven't told you before.' And that's not necessarily something that's exclusive to queer people; that's something that all people experience, and so I think the reason that it's wonderful for queer people is that they feel included in a greater, greater, um, greater experience, um, which is just I'd like you to love me, uh, for all sides of me, you know?"

"...I think there's a lot of bullshit frankly spoken about the difference between stage acting and screen acting. I think people know - one of your chief, um, requirements I think as an actor is to understand when you're; people say, you know, when you're a screen actor you should do very, very little, and when you're a stage actor you have to hit the, hit, hit the back of the auditorium, but actually some of the most beautiful things in the world are is when an actor is completely stock still on the stage, and the audience just goes towards, towards the performer.

And likewise, people have an extraordinary way of, um, an extraordinary physicality that I think you maybe have to have an awareness of your physicality when you're screen acting, but I think we all sort of know when you're being a bit OTT...and I think, I think just that it's playfulness, you know - and it's a word I use an awful lot - but like it's, it's getting to know yourself and, and, and to be interest - a lot, there's a huge amount, I think it - when you're starting out, there's a huge amount of opinions about what kind of actor you are and blah, blah, blah; and it's just to hold onto your own spark of divine fire and trust your own instinct."

[synnthamonsugar]

my challenge if you choose to accept it is simply “make Ikora and Drifter convincingly loyal/committed to each other somehow” :D

Among the ruins of a Reef outpost, Ikora Rey bundles into her heavy coat and the arms of Drifter. The air is mercifully still but bitingly cold, the cracked terrain of Rhea claiming the structures piece by piece, twisted metal and broken glass scattered down a rocky scarp. The complex has laid untouched, undoubtedly, since the Queen's deal with The Nine, two decades ago at this point, permanently ending the royal spies' intrusion into their territory.

She hopes hers' and Drifter's presence will not upset them as the Crows' had.

"I'm still a little starstruck you invited me on the mission," he says, winding his arm around her back as she wraps hers around his shoulder. It could have been empty flattery, but she's seen Drifter's lies and honesty enough — more the latter in recent years — to distinguish between the two.

"You're smart. Perceptive. Tough. You talk as well as you fight, Eli, and know exactly when to do both."

In some measure, he would always be The Drifter to her, but he's hardly the itinerant showman she once knew — or didn't know, to be precise. He had stayed, against all odds, growing on a path that commingled with her own. He had become known, and in being known deserved a name. 

The dossier had provided Ikora options. Sometimes he was Germaine. Others, Wu Ming, and others still Hope. The Hidden wore many faces and titles, and though The Drifter was not a part of her order he slithered between identities as effortlessly as any of her own.

"And I know myself. I've shed myself and embraced a new skin, more times than I can count. I am many," The way he hangs on those words sends a shiver unrelated to the cold. "I've been many since before the first brick was laid in the City walls. But all of that? It still don't make me one of your agents."

"Of course not. I would never ask you to work for — what do you say? 'The Man'?" 

He laughs. "Good. Like hell I'd say yes. But I'll work with you. Name the job, and I'll be there at your side."

She couldn't help but smile at his words, warmth greater than even their shared solar light could provide heating her.

Drifter distinguishing between Ikora Rey, person, Ikora Rey, Warlock Vanguard, and IKO-006, Hidden Spymaster would have been unthinkable at one time. Once, she was synonymous with authority, so it felt significant for her to be separated from it in his mind. She had come to find distinctions, too. The Drifter, gambit MC; Germaine, dark age lightbearer, Wu Ming, barkeep, and Eli, pilgrim guard; Hope, unknowing agent in an intelligence operation so deep undercover that the lines between what it was and what it sought to root out blurred into oblivion. He was no longer the avatar of an earlier age of lawlessness, vagrant, huckster selling thrills for a limited time, not worth reaching out to because he'd vanish as soon as she tried.

The struggle to understand Darkness, to ply it to their will to survive its representative had changed them both in surprising ways, subtle enough to escape the notice of all but each other. They had both shed old skins and embraced new ones. Or maybe — become more of themselves, what they'd been all along beneath the molt. 

"Can you imagine telling our past selves that we'd end up like this?"

"Well, I remember lookin' out across the courtyard thinking you were the prettiest lady I'd ever laid eyes on," he moves in for a gladly returned kiss. "So, I'd say old Drifter would be jubilant!" 

"I may have watched you, too, for reasons besides surveillance." She presses her lips to his again, this time lingering a bit longer. "I would be . . . pleasantly surprised. I'm not sure what I pictured for the future, but I was sure you wouldn't be a part of it."

"Did you picture tracking down cultists worshiping a god we all thought was a myth? Things change. Sometimes they change fast, if you're lucky for the better. I'd rather be with you, with the friends I've made —'' there's just a tinge of embarrassment in his words, like he's disused to saying it — "than runnin' away to watch fools brain each other for a cache of glimmer while I sleep every night with a gun clutched to my chest, waiting to be next."

Ikora had often thought of Drifter as a man who defined himself by his pleasures: food and drink, games and partners and adventure. But it was a surprise to hear him admit to wanting comfort. A rosy sense of peace settles into her as she presses her forehead against the rough fabric of his bandana.

"I'm glad at least some things changed for the better."

"I'm glad there's still thrills to be had, in good company." With a soft touch of her cheek he ducks away. Wordlessly they transmat their helmets, standing straight and stiff at a professional distance from each other as the cloaked figure rounds into view.

Their informant has arrived.

[metalandmagi]

Hello....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/manhwa/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? Why you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before....

Hope you don't mind if the same person ask a different questions. Thank you so much @metalandmagi .....

Funny you should ask, because I was just listening to a podcast episode about favorite fandom ships, and I had actually started making my own list that I was going to post anyway! And I don’t mind you asking, since I don't really have people to talk to about this stuff. I like looking at your blog and seeing other people’s answers too!

Here's my top ten! These are going to be kind of repetitive because I’ve already talked about these fandoms so much, but these are my favorite CANON SHIPS, meaning they’re actually together or at least have kissed or something. I have a million non canon ships.

10. Jem, Will, and Tessa from The Infernal Devices- I wanted to keep myself to one ship per fandom, but I couldn’t help it, I just love this OT3 so much. I don’t care what anyone says, they are a poly relationship, not a love triangle (and I maintain that if Jem wasn’t already dying, he and Will would have realized they loved each other romantically, and their parabatai bond would have fucked them over eventually). They all have an equal amount of love and respect for each other, and they balance each other so well. And I appreciate that none of them are relegated to being “the overly jealous partner who ruins everything for the other two.” We get time with each of them and love them all equally.

9. Patroclus and Achilles from The Song of Achilles- Call me a basic bitch, but these two are unparalleled in terms of doomed romances. I love friends to lovers, and the story is so widely spanning that it gives their relationship such gravitas.

8. Yona and Hak from Akatsuki no Yona- Still haven’t finished the manga, but these two are god tier for fantasy romances. I love that they completely lose their minds over each other whenever they are not within arm’s reach, and they’re another great example of childhood friends to lovers. Hak’s “teasing” attitude in the beginning of the series wasn’t my favorite, but it’s funny to look back on it later, knowing that he’s so in love with Yona and would murder the first person to disrespect her. 

7. Shigure and Akito from Fruits Basket- Because why would I choose one of the normal, healthy relationships when I could go for one of the most fucked up romances in shoujo? These two…I don’t even know where to start. They’re the definition of toxic for most of the series, but by the end, you’re really rooting for them to be together with the Sohma family curse broken. Shigure is desperate for the curse to be broken so he can prove to Akito that he loves her without them being tied together by fate. Akito feels like she needs the curse because otherwise everyone will leave her forever. Akito sleeps with Kureno. Shigure sleeps with her mom. They’re “gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss” meets “mansplain, manipulate, man-whore.”

6. Sasaki and Miyano from Sasaki to Miyano- What can I say? They’re just so freaking cute! I think they represent the romance a lot of people in fandom want, because they bond over manga and slowly come to learn more about each other. Sasaki never pressures Miyano to return his feelings, and I appreciate the patience he has in waiting for Miyano to give him an honest answer to his confession.

5. Jesper and Wylan from Six of Crows- Another basic answer, but these two are so entertaining whenever they’re together. I love that Jesper starts out teasing Wylan relentlessly about looking like a pampered rich kid (despite the fact that Wylan also lives on the streets), but Wylan deadass saves the group time and time again, so Jesper comes to respect him more. This is how you do teasing in a relationship: they get under each other’s skin but aren’t complete dicks to each other. And I appreciate that the Shadow and Bone show changes their dynamic slightly while keeping the chaotic duo the same at their core. 

4. Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase from the various Percy Jackson series- The pinnacle of middle grade/YA romance. Nobody else is doing it like these two. What works about their relationship is that we truly believe their friendship as 12 year olds before they start to have feelings for each other. So many times, authors shove two characters together because they feel like they need a romance, but Percy/Annabeth progress so naturally. They tease each other, but they know they’re both capable individuals at the end of the day (and their wildly different brands of intelligence work so well), and as long as they’re together, they can get through anything.

3. Hua Cheng and Xie Lian from Heaven Official's Blessing- I’ve shipped these two for much less time than these other ships, but they have smashed their way to my top 3 ships of all time. How do you compete with a god who’s fallen from grace and his eternally devoted follower who would burn the world down to see them smile? How do you compete with Hua Cheng, who has stayed by Xie Lian’s side for hundreds of years out of pure devotion, but not in a creepy or weird stalkery way? I think the biggest thing this ship has going for it is its sincerity. Hua Cheng doesn’t stay with Xie Lian because he’s hoping Xie Lian will fall for him eventually. He doesn’t believe he’s even worthy of Xie Lian’s love. But he stays anyway, because that’s what unconditional love is like. You stay when the one you love is at their lowest and you can’t do anything to help. You stay when they’re fighting the heavenly emperor and kick ass alongside them. You hold an umbrella over their head when it's raining blood and carry them across the ground when it's littered with corpses.

2. Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood from The Mortal Instruments/Shadowhunters- These two have destroyed me over the years. I think the best thing about this ship is how they bring out the best in each other and have changed each other’s lives for the better. Magnus is so outgoing and free spirited, but with Alec, he wants to “settle down” (lol) and raise a family. Alec started as the personification of the frowny face emoji, stuck in the closet with a stick up his ass, but now he’s basically running the shadowhunter world. They’re the perfect example of “opposites attract” who have changed their world simply by being in love.

1. Damen and Laurent from Captive Prince- Speaking of couples who change their world simply by being in love…I don’t know if any other ship will top them for me. All the other enemies to lovers ships can get the fuck out. They’re nothing compared to Damen and Laurent. So many times, people will write “enemies to lovers” or “hate to love” relationships that are just two characters snipping at each other or bullying each other for no reason. Get that shit out of here. These two start with the purest, most honest loathing possible. They hurt each other in countless ways, but they come to learn each other slowly. They have every reason to be enemies, but they come through each layer of trauma with love for each other. They’re the kings (pun intended) of this trope.

Honorable mentions: Nick and Charlie from Heartstopper- They’re just so wholesome and sweet. The progression of their relationship from like to love is so realistic, and they’re basically the live action/book version of Sasaki and Miyano.

Ronan and Adam from The Raven Cycle- (haven’t read the last book in the Dreamer trilogy, but I hope nothing bad happens). Their differing brands of chaotic energy compliment each other perfectly, and as a reader, the slow realization that Ronan is in love with Adam was so eye opening and satisfying in a way few other series have been able to capture.

Just for fun, here are some of my “less canon” ships too.

* Inej and Kaz (they're practically canon, but they never explicitly say they're together or in love...but we all know they are)

*Kylo Ren and Rey (also practically canonical since they've at least kissed)

* America and England from Hetalia (if I really want to go back to my fandom shipping roots. I read nothing but fics for them for like 2 years in high school 😅)

*Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima 

*Hinata and Kageyama

*Carole and Tuesday

*Link and Sidon

[silurisanguine]

OC Questionnaire Tag (bookish-karina questions answered)

Thanks to the lovely open tag by @bookish-karina I have more questions to answer as my OCs! I am loving doing these so if i haven't answered any you guys posted, send them my way!! As usual I'll be answering as Seren Jones, Aeryn Ryder, Zofie Orel and Kiara Black under the cut! Tagging @vorchagirl @despicablediet and @bearlytolerant @staticpallour @fangbangerghoul

@atonalginger @eridanidreams @toxiclizardwrites @therealgchu @aro-pancake @a-cosmic-elf and open tag to anyone who like to answer these questions three as their OC- 1- If you could time travel without consequence what moment in the past would you visit? 2 - Do you have a favourite food and drink? 3 - What do you think about the supernatural and magic?

Now to answer the questions given me - 1-have you ever wanted to stab someone? 2-what's your worst memory? 3 -what are you hoping to avoid? First up Seren Jones ( My Starfield Coemancer Starborn)

Have you ever wanted to stab someone? "Wanted to? I have, multiple times, with my beloved Va'ruun painblade 'viper's fang' - Spacers, Crimson Fleet, Fanatics and other Starborn. Damn I sound bloodthirsty don't I? Just the Settled Systems are the frontier, It ain't safe for an explorer and especially a Starborn one. You got to know how to defend yourself. But In truth, the only one I've ever really wanted to drive my blade into would be The Hunter for who he is, what he represents...what he did and could do again." What's your worst memory? "...Oh void, I hate talking about this, but... seeing Sam dead in front of me on the floor of the station. The Hunter had killed him, but I blamed myself for not being fast enough, for choosing to protect the people in the Lodge and not run to the Eye. It took me a long time to accept it wasn't my fault. But it hurts, especially when I see another Sam. I'm learning to live in the moment now, jumping through universes, taking a little happiness where I can until I find the right one. But that wound is still there on my heart and not sure if it will ever heal." What are you hoping to avoid? "Becoming like the Hunter in the amount of times I jump universes. Losing my humanity and compassion like he has to become this empty, cold and bitter creature. I... also really want to avoid dying before I find a universe to finally stop and settle down in again, like Aquilus has managed to do. Much as I don't subscribe to his faith, I admire what he's done." ✨ Next Aeryn Ryder ( My Mass Effect Andromeda Pathfinder )

Have you ever wanted to stab someone? "Yeah! That son of a bitch Archon would get the pointy end of my asari blade if I could get close enough to him. The rest, I don't want to do it, I just have to as they are trying to kill me!...well maybe if I ever find out who the Benefactor is, they might get to meet my blade too for what they did to Jien." What's your worst memory? "Dad told me that mom never wanted a funeral, that she didn't want people standing around her body crying, so we had a memorial service to celebrate her life and I remember just feeling so empty that she wasn't around anymore. That all I had were memories of her. That stayed with me. Close second would be waking up to find my dad had sacrificed his life to save mine after I'd...died. I didn't get to say goodbye or anything and then becoming Pathfinder, I haven't even really had chance to mourn or process the fact that I...died." What are you hoping to avoid? "Oh god, failure. Failure to live up to my dad's standard as Pathfinder. Failure to secure a viable home for everyone in Heleus. Failure to stop the Archon and the kett. Also really like to not die again." ✨ Next Zofie Orel ( My Deus Ex/ Assassin's Creed OC)

Have you ever wanted to stab someone? "I am an Assassin in the Coterie of Assassins. It's my job, so yes I have stabbed someone...many someones. Whether I wanted to, was very much up to learning what they'd done to warrant such an action. Sometimes it wasn't so much a want as a need. They were doing bad things, even if they thought they were doing good and couldn't be convinced otherwise. I took no pleasure in stopping them." What's your worst memory? "I could say it was the attack that caused me to be augmented, but truth be told, I don't remember it well. Being hit hard in the head has a tendency to do that. I think the worst, was waking up in the LIMB clinic and finding out Sarah, a fellow Assassin I was...close to, had died saving me, and my goshhawk Ghost had been killed too. That devastated me for quite some time. But I channeled that into my recovery, swearing vengeance for them both." What are you hoping to avoid? "Having to prevent Jensen from interfering with my mission. I'd prefer he was on board with what I have to do. So far the signs are good and I think once he finds out the full story he wont want to miss working with me." ✨ Lastly Kiara Black (My Dishonored/ Thief OC)

Have you ever wanted to stab someone? "Wanted to? No...maybe? Sometimes I saw an Overseer in Dunwall abusing his power, scaring someone, threatening them and I wanted to hurt them for it. But I don't really know how to fight. Garrett's shown me how to avoid fights and how to take someone down without them seeing you, but it's always no lethal. But there is a part of me that wants to see those who hurt people- be stopped for good. I have a feeling Garrett did that once, but he wont talk about." What's your worst memory? "...Finding out I might have caused my best friend's death. I was fourteen and Dylan was my only real friend. I thought I could trust him with a secret but he must have talked about it and it caused the Abbey to come to his family and try and take him...there was a fight, he and his family were killed by the Abbey and my family and I had to flee Caulkenny to Dunwall. I hated him for blabbing about what I told him, but I never wanted anything like that to happen to him or his family. That still haunts me." What are you hoping to avoid? "Getting caught. Either by the Abbey back in the Isles or by the City Watch here in the Eternal City. Both are as corrupt as they come, though if I had to choose, I'd take the Watch. least I know I could probably escape them. What the Abbey do to 'Heretics'... I think I'd rather die than be caught by them."

[yakuzabrainrotlive]

Y4 Finale thoughts part 2 time! I hope I can shove everything here labdksnsnqqlqm

This ending was... really good. No, this WHOLE GAME was just an incredible experience. SO glad I got to play this 100% blind! Gonna have to ponder my order of faves a bit, not gonna lie👀

I hate to bring up other media, but this absolutely epic cutscene of them taking off reminded me strongly of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 3's start when the Stardust Crusaders take off at the start. You know, the classic:

The group dynamic, the badassery, the raw masculine energy, the whole vibe... ahhhh. Thoroughly enjoyed it. One of my favourite cutscenes in the games this far.

Okay hold on... Arai has lowkey been just utterly and completely BASED this entire time. BESIDES the whole shooting Kido thing, I've honestly been loving the energy he brings to the table. I found myself agreeing with him a lot and cheering him on. What a great character.

As for Daigo; seems I was kinda spot-on about him. I understand why he did what he did and I actually really like the idea of rebuilding the falling clan entirely, but... I don't like him betraying Majima. Not just because it's Majima, it's because of how much Majima and his family have contributed to the clan. Very disrespectful, even if it's supposed to be for the good of the clan. It clearly wasn't a decision Daigo made lightly, though, so I can't bring myself to hate him.

GOD, why is this finale just pure EPICNESS. I was amazed the entire time. Peak cinema🔥🙌🏻

THAT'S MY KING!! Hell yeah! This is SO necessary, for both of them. I hope they can build a healthy and mutually (more) beneficial partnership in the future.

Not to be like... insensitive or to rain on your parade here Kiryu, but... you were officially the chairman for how long, exactly? 10 minutes?? 😭 Pretty sure Daigo knows pretty damn well how heavy the responsibilities of being the Tojo leader are. I know Kiryu has experience as a representative and liutenant advisor of the clan, and he fought in many major battles but uhh... Daigo has had to deal with like... EVERYTHING. For years on end. Through more than a few massive crises. Cool line, though!

As for the fights! I really like that all the playable characters got their own fights.

Akiyama vs Arai was quite simple and I atomized Daigo in... probably like a single minute. Saejima vs Kido was tricky because I never really learned to properly use Saejima's style (I HATE using those charge move thingies), but it was doable.

NOW. WHAT ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH WAS THAT TANIMURA FIGHT😭 I did manage it first try, but h o l y s h i t. At the start I thought it was a scripted loss and the rest of the lads would come help, but NAH. Wow. The rest of the guys got to go 1v1 while Tanimura had to fight - to quote Max0r - "90 enraged apes". I thought Kiryu would be doing the heavy lifting so all my staminan sparks and best gear were on him💀

Majimaaaa hi!!! Congrats on your release!! Glad to see you and Daigo made up! I would pay real money to see how THAT reunion went, though.

I was KINDA maybe hoping a little bit Kiryu would make a comeback as chairman, but I also knew 100% that it wasn't happening. Eager to see where Kiryu ends up being at the start of Y5! Also very happy for Saejima for becoming a patriarch!! ❤️