#but god. i want to ask for another bts album SO BAD | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bteezxyewriter12 · 2 years ago

Text

Neglect

Pairing- Yoongi x Named Reader

Word count- 6.5k

Includes- Angst, misunderstanding, fluff, oral, pussy eating, cum eating, riding, from behind, missionary, love making, multiple orgasms

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine

@yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana

@tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa @borntowalkaway @soulseobi05

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝 BTS Masterlist

📝Yoongi Masterlist

Pic from @yoonboobies

Yoongi POV

"Jagi, I can't right now", I say

"You can naekkeo", she whispers in my ear, kissing my neck, her arms around me from behind

God she's driving me insane

I just want to turn around, throw her on my desk and fuck her hard and fast

But I can't

Namjoon needs this song in an hour before practice

"No baby, I can't. Namjoon needs the song before practice. That's in an hour."

"Really naekkeo? You can't just stop for ten minutes?", she asks

"Ten?", I ask pretending to be shocked, "What are you trying to say?"

"Oh stop. You know what I mean. If you only have ten minutes, then you can do it in ten", she rolls her eyes

Fuck she's making it really hard to say no

Just thinking of her sliding up and down my cock is turning me on

'Stop!', I yell at myself

I need to get this done

"Baby, I want to but I can't right now ok?"

She sighs, "Ok Yoongi."

I feel bad for saying no again

It's not like I don't want her, I do but I have so much work and it's stressing me out

"I guess I'm gonna go so you can finish", she says

I don't want her to go but I shouldn't keep her here

She was with me all morning and I haven't paid any attention to her

And I'm just going straight to practice after this

"Ok jagi. I'll see you tonight ok?"

"Yeah Yoongi. Ok naekkeo", she answers

She leans down and kisses my cheek

"I love you"

"I love you Jo", I answer

She gives me a small smile, then she's gone

I feel bad that I'm not spending any time with her

It's been like this for awhile because we're getting ready to release a new album

We get really busy during that time

This is the first album since our wings album and we got bigger

There's a lot of changes for this album

More photo shoots, more videos, more practices, more everything because now there are different versions of the album

I always get home really late and she's always asleep when I get there

She's also asleep when I leave at the ass crack of dawn

I know she's probably upset but she never shows it or complains

I'm so lucky I have her

And I'm going to make everything up to her as soon as I have any free time

She deserves that and I want her to know how much I love her

---------------------------

I'm so tired

I'm on a break from the photo shoot we have today

I didn't get home last night until after 2

She was already sleeping and I felt like such an asshole

I told her I'd see her last night but I couldn't

Again

But I did get to see her a little this morning

She had to get up with me

She's one of our makeup artists and she had to come with me to the photo shoot

The photo shoot is almost over but I have practice after this

Again

So I don't know when I'm going to see her

Which is why I'm looking for her now so I can spend my break with her

If I can find her before it ends

I pass by a room, glancing in and seeing her there

I'm about to walk in when I see she's talking to someone, Grace another make up artist who she's close with

"He said no?", Grace asks

"Yeah", she answers

"Why?"

"He said he had to finish a song. I get it, I know he's busy"

"Uh yeah but it's obvious it's bothering you"

"Yeah but not because I didn't get sex", she answers

"Ok then why?"

"I just....he's always been busy before but that's never stopped him. He'd always find time see me for like fifteen or twenty minutes."

"For sex?", Grace asks

"Yes and no. Not just sex but to talk to me, hug me, tell me he loves me, see how my day is going, tell me about his. You know things a boyfriend says to his girlfriend"

"And he hasn't been doing that?"

"No", she answers, "Yesterday when I told him I was leaving he just said ok. He didn't try to stop me or ask me to stay or to go to practice with him. I just left and didn't hear from him for the rest of the day. I saw him when he woke me up to come here."

I didn't want her to go but I really didn't think she'd want to come to another practice

"Uh when was the last time you had sex with him"

"Uh two, no, three months ago", she answers

Shit

Has it really been that long?

"What? Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"And is that how long he hasn't spent any time with you? Like besides when you're doing his makeup?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm always alone. He's never at home anymore. Not even just to see if I'm there or if I'm ok. Just to sleep if he even makes it home instead of just going to the dorm.", she explains, "He doesn't text either. Not like he used to. And he's never been the kind of guy who does phone calls either. I just miss him. A lot."

Fuck

I'm messing up so much when it comes to her

She's right about everything

I haven't been texting her or even seeing if she's ok

I haven't spoken to her, for real, for months

I'm always in the studio or at practice or a shoot or a performance

"So why don't you go out? Do something when you're home alone?", Grace asks

"I don't feel like it. I used to go out to the park or to the bookstore but I just don't want to leave the apartment anymore. Just thinking about getting up, getting dressed and driving somewhere makes me tired. I don't want to do it"

"Jo, I think you may be depressed"

What?

No she can't be

Not because of me

I can't handle if it's true

That I'm the cause of something so horrible, something that hurts her

I never want to hurt her

Ever

"Nah, I'm just lazy", she answers

Grace is silent for a minute

"Jo, I don't really know what to say about any of this"

"I.....", she trails off

"What Jo? You can tell me"

"I think that he's....he's not attracted to me anymore. He used to never say no. He used to always want to be with me. I think he doesn't want me anymore and this is his way of distancing himself before he ends it", she says quietly

WHAT?

Is she insane?

No fucking way

"How long have you been together?"

"Eight years. Since we were 16"

"Wow."

"Yeah. Maybe he's tired of me and wants someone better"

No just no

She can't think this

That has never crossed my mind once in all our years together

I know I want her for the rest of my life

I knew it when I asked her out and I know it to this day

"Better? Whose better?"

She shrugs, "An idol? Someone who gets what it's like to be one? Or just someone who's not me"

No fucking way

I don't want an idol

I don't want anyone else

I want her

Only her

"Jo, I think you just need to talk to him"

"No", she answers so fast

"Why?", Grace asks

"Because I...I can't hear him tell me he doesn't love me. I can't hear him say he doesn't want me. Hearing him say it.....I just can't"

"So you'd rather just wait for him to break up with you? If that's even what he's going to do?"

She nods, "I can just tell him I know why so he doesn't have to say it. But if I ask him, then he's going to have to answer me. And I don't want to hear him tell me....tell me...fuck I can't even say it again"

"But doesn't he tell you he loves you?"

"Yeah but he's always distracted when he says it. And he just could be saying it because it's an automatic response."

It's not

I love her

With all my heart

This is all my fault

I've neglected her to the point where she thinks I don't love her

I never want her to think that

I fucked up

"Yoongi!", I hear my name being called

Shit

I don't want her to know I've been listening to her conversation

At least not yet

I move towards whoever is calling me

"Yoongi?", she calls

I turn to her voice, sad look on her face

"Hi jagi", I answer

"Did you have a break yet?", she asks

"Uh yeah", I answer

A look of hurt flashes on her face before she hides it

"Oh. Uh what did you do? Did you sleep?", she asks quietly

Shit

I shouldn't have told her I had a break

Now she thinks I didn't want to spend it with her

"I...uh..", I stammer

I don't know what to say

"It's ok. Forget I asked", she says looking down

"Jo-"

"Uh I'm gonna go ok? I'm uh not feeling too good, so I'm going home. You're almost done right?"

I nod

She's not feeling good?

Why what's wrong?

Is she sick?

"Ok so one of the other makeup artists can fix your makeup if you need it. You have practice after right?"

"Uh yeah", I answer, "But baby what's wrong? Are you sick?"

"My stomach just hurts. I'll be ok"

She's lying

She's hurt and just wants to go home, to be away from... everything I guess

And it's my fault she feels this way

"I'll see you whenever ok?", she says turning from me, "I love you"

She walks away, not even giving me a chance to tell her I love her

I need to fix this asap

---------------------------

"Yoongi, what the hell? That's like the tenth time you messed up. And stepped on my foot!", Jin yells

"Sorry", I mumble

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. It's like two in the morning"

I just want to go home

I want to be with her

"Don't give me that shit. Something is wrong", Jin insists

He's pissing me off

"Back off", I snap

"No. We have a fucking performance soon and you're fucking up. So what's wrong?"

"This!", I yell waving my hands around, "This, all this! The constant fucking practicing, the triple photo shoots, the schedule that has us even more fucking busy than we normally are! How every fucking waking moment is about work! How I have to be Suga all the time instead of Yoongi! How I have to be here instead of with her!"

They stare at me, shocked

"But we've always been busy especially around the time when we release an album", Hobi answers, "What's different this time?"

"This time I may lose her", I choke out

"What? Why?", Jimin gasps

"Because she thinks I don't love her and I'm going to breakup with her"

"Uh why would she think that? And how do you know?", Namjoon asks

"On my break today, I was looking for her and I heard her talking to Grace."

"About what?"

"How I haven't spent any time at all with her in three months. How I used to but I never find time anymore. How I always come home when she's sleeping, always gone when she wakes up. How we haven't had sex in three months"

"Uh....why not?", Jungkook asks

"Because I'm too busy! Because every time I finish with one thing, another thing is thrown at me that I have to do immediately. Because it's one thing after another. I have to tell her no every time she tries to kiss me, hug me, be with me because a song needs to be finished in an hour or I have to practice all day or we have photo shoots or she's always asleep when I finally see her and I don't want to wake her up, just to have sex, like I'm using her"

Silence

They don't say anything

They don't have to

"She thinks I'm not attracted to her and I don't want her. She's actually waiting for me to break up with her. She thinks I'm trying to distance myself from her before I leave her. She doesn't want to talk to me about it because she can't....fuck", I stop, breathing hard, trying not to cry

"What Yoongi?", Tae asks

"She thinks I'm going to tell her I don't love her, I don't want her and she can't take hearing that even though I would never say that to her"

"What?", Jimin asks confused

I laugh sarcastically, "Her plan is to wait for me to break up with her and tell me I don't need to explain because she already knows why so she doesn't have to hear me say it"

"I....I'm sorry Yoongi.", Jin says

"What are you going to do?", Tae asks

"I have to talk to her. I have to tell her that I love her and I'm never going to leave her. But I can't with this fucking schedule. I'll be gone tomorrow before she wakes up again because I need to finish three songs before the meeting with our managers and then we have practice again, all day. And the next day, we have a performance so that means all day at the venue, rehearsing and I'll see her only when she's putting my make up on"

I think to the days coming and I actually don't have any fucking time to see her and talk to her.

I can't believe this shit

It's like how it used to be when I was a trainee and they kept me from going to Daegu to see her

No wonder she thinks I'm going to leave her

"This is so fucked. We've never been this busy before where there's actually no time for anything else"

"Yoongi, listen ok.", Namjoon says, "Tomorrow don't come to practice"

"What?", I ask warily

"Just come to the meeting, then leave and go stay with her. You're going to be distracted again if you come anyway. So just go home and talk to her"

"I....are you sure?", I ask

"Yeah. I don't want you and Joanne to break up. You two love each other and need to fix this", Namjoon replies

The relief I feel is immense

And I thank god Namjoon is giving me the time to fix my relationship

I just nod, "Thanks"

"I guess we should all stop now and go home", Namjoon says

"Yes!", Jungkook yells

Namjoon glares at him

"What I'm tired", Jungkook says

"Whatever lets go", Namjoon mutters

I get my stuff, say bye to the guys and get ready to go home to my jagi

---------------------------

It's dark inside the apartment

I don't want to turn on any lights and wake her up

So I use the flashlight on my phone to see where I'm going

When I open the bedroom door, I see her sleeping

She's curled on her side of the bed, under the blanket

I can't help it, I go and sit next to her, dimming the flashlight so it's not so bright but I can still see her

Some hair is around her face so push it back, running my fingers in it

God I love her so much

It kills me that she thinks I don't love her

Looking at her I notice she has something she's holding to her, and she's actually laying on part of it

I pull the blanket down a little, squinting

Fuck

It's one of my shirts

She's sleeping, holding on to my shirt because she can't hold me

That breaks my heart

She's holding onto it so tightly and she wrapped part of her hand in it

Then I noticed she's wearing one of my shirts too

I move the blanket more and she also has on one of my pajama pants

Oh god what did I do to her?

She has to wear my clothes to feel close to me

Sleep holding my shirt because I'm not here

I'm such a fucked up boyfriend

And the worst part is that I didn't even notice how she felt

If I didn't hear her conversation today, I still wouldn't know

Because I haven't been paying attention to her

I see part of the shirt she's wearing is a little wet

It's then that I notice I'm crying and my tears are what's making the shirt wet

I lean over her, kissing her cheek, then get up to change

I just put on a t-shirt and pj pants, then get in the bed next to her

I turn to her, moving as closer to her as I can, cuddling into her back

And I just cry

I can't stop it

I can't believe I didn't see anything

How long has she been sleeping with one of my shirts?

How long has she been using them to sleep in?

How could I have not noticed until today?

I sleep next to her when I can and I was too stupid to notice

I wasn't paying attention but I will from now on

I'll never make her feel like this again

She moves, turning around to face me

"Wha?", she whispers, her eyes barely open

"Yoongi?", she asks tiredly

"Yeah jagi, I'm here", I answer

She moves closer to me, snuggling into my chest, her head on my arm and her arm around my body

"Yoongi", she says softly, her eyes closed

In a few seconds she's sleeping again, breathing evenly

"I'm sorry jagi", I whisper, holding her tightly, "I'm sorry. I love you Jo. So much. I'm going to fix everything. I swear"

I kiss her forehead and close my eyes, trying to sleep for a little

---------------------------

My alarm goes off and I reach for my phone to turn it off

I didn't sleep well

I kept waking up to find her on her side of the bed, away from me

I don't know why but I think it's because she's used to sleeping alone

I have to ask her when I come back after the meeting

She's laying on me now because I woke up half an hour ago and moved her to me

Again

I don't want to go

I don't want to wake her up

I want to stay right here, holding her

'You can after the meeting', I tell myself

Gently, I move her on her pillow but her eyes open

Fuck, I was trying not to wake her up

"Yoongi?", she asks, sitting up slowly and rubbing her eyes, "What time is it?"

"It's 9:30 baby."

"Oh. You have practice this early?"

"No baby. I have a meeting with the guys and the managers."

She nods, "Right, I uh remember you said that, uh the other day. You have practice after the meeting right?"

"About that, I'm not going to practice", I answer

"Oh. Why?"

"I'm gonna come home after the meeting"

She looks at me tiredly, "Oh ok"

"You're going to be here right Jo?", I ask

"I uh yeah. I have no where to go so yeah"

I hate that she just stays home all day and has nothing to do

She works when we have photo shoots, music videos, performances, events or interviews

But there's no reason to have a make up artist when we're just practicing

I think Grace is right

I think she's depressed

Especially if she's just home alone all day

And if I'm right, then it's all my fault

I made her depressed, I made her think I don't love her

It's killing me

But I'm going to fix it today

"Ok jagi", I answer

I gotta get up so I go to the bathroom

When I get out, she goes in while I get dressed

"Jo?", I call

"Yeah?"

I walk to the kitchen where she went after the bathroom

"I'm going to go. I'll be home soon ok"

"Yeah Yoongi. Sure"

I lean down, giving her a kiss on her lips, "I love you"

"I love you too Yoongi", she answers, giving me a small smile

"Bye"

I make myself turn away from her towards the door

I stop before I leave the kitchen and glance back at her

She's just standing by the stove looking out the window while she waits for the water for her tea to boil

She looks so unhappy

I have to change that

I will

I swear I will

---------------------------

I finally get out of the meeting with the guys and the managers

Pointless meeting about the schedule that we have over the next few months

More work

But I also talked to the managers about being overwhelmed with the amount of work and pressure they're putting on us

I told them that they need to lighten up or I'm going to burn out

I don't want that to happen

I love my job, I love performing, I love ARMYS

But if my body gives out, I can't do anything about it

They said they'd take what I said under consideration and we'll be getting a break after the end of the wings tour

Whatever

I'm still going to make time for Joanne no matter what they say

I leave BigHit, get into my car and drive home to spend the day with her

--------------------------

I open the door to our apartment and go inside

"Jo?", I call

She was in the kitchen when I left

"Yoongi?", she asks

I follow her voice and go to the living room

She's on the couch with the tv on

Looking at me in surprise

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at practice?"

"I told you before I left jagi that I was coming back today. I'm not going to practice", I answer

"Yeah but...", she trails off

"What Jo?", I ask

Is she not happy to see me?

"I uh....I'm sorry Yoongi but I didn't believe you", she tells me

I didn't expect that but I can't blame her

"It's ok Jo. I just want to stay with you today"

She looks so confused, "You do? Why?"

I blink

Did she just ask me why?

"Uh what?", I ask unsure of what to say

"Why? Don't you have to finish the songs for the new album? And aren't you guys starting the rest of the tour in a few days? Isn't practicing more important?"

This hurts me so much

I hate how this is how she thinks because of me

God, I've neglected her so badly, she's actually asking me why I'd want to spend time with her

That's so fucked on so many levels

And it's my fault

"I uh, no baby, it's not more important than you. I miss you"

"You do?"

The look of genuine confusion on her face breaks my heart

She really thinks I don't miss her

I sit next to her, "Yeah jagi"

"Oh. I guess I don't understand what makes today different. Why you'd rather be here"

Hearing what she's saying makes me start crying

I can't stop it

Just like last night

She really can't believe I'd rather be with her than at work

"Yoongi what's wrong?", she asks panicking, "I'm sorry. I...I'm sorry I made you upset"

She puts her arms around me and holds me to her, rubbing my back

That just makes me cry harder

She thinks she upset me

Fuck I don't deserve her

"I'm sorry Jo. I'm so sorry", I sob, clutching onto her tight

"Uh it's ok Yoongi"

"No baby it's not ok. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made you think I don't love you, don't want you. That I'm not attracted to you. But Joanne, that is so wrong"

"Uh ok", she answers

"I love you more than anything, with all my heart. You are the only girl I fell in love with and I'm just as in love with you as I was the day I realized I was..... No wait, I'm more in love with you than before. You're the only one I want, no one else"

"Yoongi, uh what's going on? What are you talking about?"

"I...I....heard you...Yyyy....yesterday talking to Grace"

"What?", she gasps

"I...I...went to look for you during my break Jo. When I fff...found you. I heard you talking to her. I heard what you said"

"Shit", she mutters

"No jagi, just listen. Please", I ask, pulling away from her and looking in her face

"Uh..ok"

"I love you Joanne", I sob, "There is no one better for me than you baby. I swear. No one compares to you. Not for me. Jagi you are the most beautiful, sexiest girl I've ever laid my eyes on. Don't ever think I don't want you. I do. I did, every time you tried but I let work get in the way. And I'm sorry"

"Yoongi", she says softly

"Joanne, I don't want anyone but you. I can't live without you. I mean that. You're my everything, my world baby.", I get out, "I'm sorry I didn't notice how you felt baby. I'm sorry I didn't notice how I wasn't paying attention to you. I'm sorry I made you feel this way. I never want you to think I don't love you because I always will. I can promise you I will always love you"

"How can you promise that? You can't", she says quietly

"Yes I can"

"How?"

"Because I can't even think of what it's like to be without you without crying. Because I can't imagine waking up and not seeing you next to me. I can't imagine living the rest of my life without you." I explain

I touch her beautiful face and I'm so happy when she leans into my hand

"I love you Yoongi. I feel the exact same way as about you"

"I know you do baby. I have never doubted that you love me. Ever. And I promise I'm going to change things jagi ok? I missed you so much. I promise I'm going to make time for you Jo. Everyday. I'm not going to let work take over. Lately it's been too much for me and I need to relax or I'm going to burn out. I told them that at the meeting. And I want to spend the time I take to chill out with you"

She smiles at me, "Yeah?"

"Yeah", I nod

"Ok"

I smile at her and pull her to me, my lips on hers

I put all my love into the kiss, kissing her like my life depends on it

She kisses me exactly the same way

After the kiss ends, I tell her, "I'm going to make everything up to you baby. I'm going to give you everything, all the attention I haven't been giving you. Starting now", I tell her

Leaning to her, I kiss her again

She puts her arms around my neck, kissing me back

I pull her on my lap, so shes straddling me, my hands in her hair, tongue in her mouth

She gets as close to me as possible, still kissing me

I move away from her lips, kissing her neck, making her moan

Jesus that sound turns me on so much

Sliding my hands down her body, I start pulling her shirt up

I pull away from her neck for a second to get the shirt off her

I go back to kissing her neck, licking and sucking, leaving marks all over her, touching her all over

"Yes Yoongi"

Moving down her body, I keep kissing her

When I get to her breasts, I suck gently on her nipple, running my hands up and down her back

"Shit", she moans, her body shaking a little

I smile

I love making her feel good

I miss making her feel good

Switching to her other nipple, I lick her over and over

"Fuck Yoongi"

I keep kissing her body, moving her up so she's on her knees

I kiss all over her stomach, leaving more marks all over, her hands moving into my hair and pulling

"Fuck, I love you", I whisper

"I love you Yoongi"

"Up baby", I say, helping her to stand up

I pull down her pj pants and panties, then move her back on me, just as she was before, keeping her up on her knees

I kiss lower, leaving more hickies on her perfect skin

Moving back I let my eyes roam all over her, my hands running up and down her legs

Fuck me, her body is so perfect

I can look at her all day, just sitting here staring at her

My eyes go to her pussy, and I bite my lip, getting so turned on

She's so wet, she's dripping all over my sweatpants, making them wet

I've never seen her this wet before

"Baby", I moan, just staring

"Yoongi", she whimpers

Fuck, I need her now

I pull her to me, her clit in my mouth and I start sucking fast

"Oh god Yoongi", she moans, her hands going back in my hair

"Baby", I moan too

Fuck, I love having her clit in my mouth

Licking, sucking, I love pleasuring her this way

And she loves when I play with her here than anywhere else

"Fuck YOONGI", she shouts, coming and shaking so hard, I have to hold her up by her legs

Moving my tongue to her pussy, I lick her, tasting her again and I kick myself for not doing this sooner

She tastes so good and I missed it so much

Pulling away, I see some of her cum on her thigh and I want it

I lean forward, running my tongue on her thigh, licking it off her

"Fuck, you're so good baby", I tell her

"God Yoongi. You're so fucking sexy", she moans

Not as much as she is

I look up at her, kiss her clit, making her tremble

"Can I give you more?"

"Huh?", she asks, looking down at me

God she's fucking beautiful

"I want to give my baby more. So much more jagi."

I lick her clit

"Shit"

"I want to make you feel so good baby. Over and over. I want to make you scream, make you shake, make you lose it. I want to give you everything", I explain, "Can I?"

"Yeah Yoongi. If you want to", she answers

"I want to baby. So much"

"Ok Yoongi", she smiles at me

"I love you", I tell her

I'm never going to stop telling her I love her

I want her to know, to hear it so she never forgets

"I love you", she answers

I love hearing her say that

"Ready to scream baby?", I smirk

She smirks and nods

I pull her to me, sliding my tongue all over her

"Oh god", she shouts, her hands going in my hair

Opening her legs more, I'm able to get better access to her, sliding my tongue all over her pussy

"Fuck", she whimpers

I love the way she feels against my tongue

I love everything about eating her out

I switch between licking her and sucking on her clit

"Yoongi!", she cries, coming again

God, I love it

Grabbing her, I move her, putting her on her back on the couch, opening her legs wide and sliding my tongue inside her

"Yoongi, fuck", she yells

I move my tongue up and out, sliding up her pussy, then suck on her clit

Then I slip my tongue back inside and do it again

And again and again and again

I feel her start to shake and put my tongue back in just as she explodes

She squeezes my tongue, releasing all over it, tasting fucking amazing

When she finishes, I move away, standing and taking my clothes off

Then I pick her up, lay on the couch, my head on the couch arm and slide her on my cock

"YOONGI!", she shouts, instantly clenching me tightly

"Oh god baby", I moan

Jesus Christ, I fucking forgot how good she feels

How tight, how wet

I was so stupid to wait so long

I should of been with her when I wanted to instead of stopping her

I'll never make that mistake again

Ever

"Fuck Jo. I missed you so much", I tell her

"I missed you too Yoongi. Shit you're so fucking hard and feel so fucking good", she praises

Fuck, she's the best girl ever

She tries to start moving but I stop her

"No baby"

She looks at me confused

"I don't want you to do anything. I want to give it to you. I want you to just feel ok?"

She tilts her head, looking at me but she answers, "Ok"

"Good"

Gripping her hips, I move her up then slam her down on my cock

"Shit!", she yells while I moan

I move her again, faster and harder, pleasure fucking exploding on my body

"Baby fuck", I yell

I watch her yell while I bounce her on me, pleasure on her face

She's fucking gorgeous

I feel her throbbing on me and it sends spikes of pleasure through my veins

I slam her down and she screams, orgasming, her hand gripping my wrist hard and her other gripping the couch

"YOONGI"

"Yes baby, fuck. I love when you cum on me"

"Fuck I love coming on your cock naekkeo. It feels so good", she moans

I keep fucking her through her orgasm, bringing her down and thrusting up into her at the same time

"Yoongi oh god", she shouts

I thrust harder, watching her again

She's yelling, her breasts bouncing hard, sweat all over her body

I can't tear my eyes away

I love seeing her in such pleasure and I love that I'm making her feel it

It just adds to the intense pleasure I'm feeling

The next thrust, slams into her spot, making her scream loudly

Yes

Fuck, she's gonna cum so much and I want her too

Every few slams in that spot can give her orgasm after orgasm and I love watching her in constant pleasure

The next thrust causes her first orgasm, making her shake above me and scream

"Yeah baby, more", I request

I keep going, causing another climax just as she finishes the first

"Oh god", she yells

"Again"

I slam in her again and she cums again

She's the only girl who I've been able to give multiple orgasms like this, one right after the other

And I fucking love it

Her constant orgasms makes her constantly throb and tighten on my cock, causing intense pleasure

"Again baby."

"Yoongi", she cries

"One more", I ask

One more this way

"Yes Yoongi, fuck I want it. I want you"

"I want you baby, always"

I move again and she explodes, screaming

"Yes, good girl. Fuck", I praise her, "My good girl. My best girl"

When she finishes, I pull her off and get her on her hands and knees

I thrust hard inside her and she screams my name loudly

"YOONGI"

I will never get fucking tired of hearing her scream my name

I love my name coming out of her mouth in any way

"Baby girl, your pussy is my favorite place to be"

"I love you being in me Yoongi. You always make me feel so good", she breathes hard

"Yeah baby? You always make me feel good too"

I snap my hips, burying my cock deep inside her

"Yes, baby", she whimpers

I pound in her mercilessly, just feeling the pleasure from her

She shouts and cums on me again

Looking down, I watch my cock slide in and out of her, soaked with her wetness and her cum

God that's a sight I love seeing

But I can't look for long or I'll cum

And I don't want to yet

I want to give her more

So I look away and just continue to thrust hard and fast in her

"YOONGI!", she shouts, "I'm gonna cum Yoongi!"

"Good girl baby. Be my good girl and let me feel you cum"

"Fuck!"

Her whole body shakes, her pussy squeezing and pulling my cock hard

Her arms start to give out but I grab her and hold her up

"Not yet baby. I want it again", I murmur

Slamming harder, I reach around her and rub her clit

"God Yoongi", she cries, her body trembling

"My baby likes when I play with her clit and fuck her?", I ask

"Yes Yoongi. I love it"

"Fuck baby, you're such a fucking turn on"

She really is

She can turn me on in a fucking second

"C'mon baby girl. Give me", I ask

"Oh my god Yoongi", she screams, another orgasm running through her

It feels fucking incredible

I need to get out before I cum

But she's holding on so tightly

"Bbbbb....baby let me go. Please jagi. I...I can't take it", I plead

I don't know if she's listening to me while she's feeling her orgasm

"Joanne! Let go baby. I'm gonna cum, let go!", I cry

I feel her orgasm end and the second she unclenches me, I pull out just in time

She falls face down on the couch and I sit back, trying to calm myself down

I know if I go back in her now, I'm gonna cum immediately

I give myself a few minutes, breathing hard

When I'm sure I'm good, I turn her over and move her on her back, her head on the couch's arm cushion

I open her legs, lay on her, pushing inside slowly

"Yoongi", she moans softly

"Jagi. Jo", I say kissing her lips

I move but this time I go slower, just feeling her

She tightens on me again, feeling so good

She puts her arms around me, pulling me against her, holding me tightly

Being in her arms is my favorite place to be

It's the one place I rather be than anywhere else

I feel safe and loved in her arms

And the best part is that she feels the same way in my arms

When she told me that for the first time, I was so happy

She runs her fingers up and down my back, heating every nerve in my skin

She's looking at me with so much love that it takes my breath away

She reaches out, caressing my face and I can feel her love

It's the best feeling in the world

"I love you Yoongi. So much naekkeo. Always", she whispers

God I feel like crying

I love her so much and I'm so happy she loves me

She's the only girl I ever loved and the only one that ever made me feel this way

I would give up anything for her, follow her anywhere

She's my life and I'm one thousand percent happy about it

"I love you Joanne. More than anything in this world"

She smiles at me, I can't take it

My lips land on hers in a passionate kiss

She kisses me back just as passionately

I feel her getting ready and the next time I move, she moans my name softly, coming and holding my body tightly to her

"Yoongi, my Yoongi"

The pure pleasure from her is too much and I can't hold back

I don't want to

I cum hard, pressing my body as close to her's as I can, my body shaking from my orgasm

"Joanne, oh baby, my Jo", I moan

When we both finish, I pull out but stay laying on her

She keeps holding me, running her fingers in my hair

I love when she plays with my hair

It feels good

"Baby, my baby", she whispers, "I love my Yoongi. My naekkeo"

I hold her tightly, listening to her heartbeat

"I love my Jo. So much jagi. Forever", I answer

"Forever", she agrees

I lift my head, kissing her and feeling her kiss me back

And I'm so happy I have her

Forever

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spiderlilyserendipity · 4 years ago

Text

made of gold (reader x myg) (*SFW*)

can be read as gender neutral!

tags: fluff, dating, insecurity , slight angst, happy ending, can be read as gender neutral, reader wears a bit of makeup

warnings: none

word count: 2.3k

💛💛💛

the liquor had gotten to your head.

your boss had insisted on a round of drinks tonight to celebrate the project that had just wrapped up, but no one in the team was in the mood. but knowing his head-strong approach, all your co-workers merely glanced at each other unhappily when the clock struck 5 and got up to follow him.

fast forward three hours and here you were, drunk off your ass in a neighbourhood far from your own. it was friday and you didn’t have anywhere to be tomorrow but you weren’t in the mood to sit in a taxi for the half hour it would take to get back home. you were feeling nauseous as it was, stomach uneasy from too many cups of coffee and the all-nighter you’d pulled in preparation for today’s presentation. it had all gone well, it always did knowing your team. but you were a worrier, and the last few weeks of working on this project had done bad things to you. forget the possible promotion your boss had hinted at, you just wanted to get by without liver damage for the rest of the weekend.

“hurry, hurry.” you told the first cab driver that pulls over. you glanced nervously over your shoulder, hoping your boss doesn’t spot your face standing on the sidewalk. you had made up such an elaborate lie to get away before they left the bar for a second round.

drunk and tired, you didn’t realize the address you told the driver isn’t your own.

you just got out at the corner and pay, bowing goodbye absently. then you turned around, fumbling when the passcode for the front door doesn’t work.

“what the fuck.” you muttered under your breath. you sighed and pressed a hand to your forehead. don’t say i forgot the passcode.

“y/n?”

you turned around, wondering why your female roommate’s voice was so deep today, or why she was just getting home now, too. but then you felt it. two warm, sturdy hands that clasped your upper arms. and then you saw them. dark, gentle eyes, hidden under a baseball cap and a mask, but you would recognize those eyes anywhere. you smiled. “when did you get here, baby?”

yoongi cleared his throat, cheeks turning a bit pink. in your drunkenness, you forgot yoongi isn’t baby, not yet. it had only been about three months of flirting between you two, more phone calls and top-secret dinner dates than anything serious. you understood that. yoongi’s a big man, and you were just lucky enough to have met him through a mutual friend.

you were simple and he was charming, but for whatever reason, he looked at you like you’re made of gold.

“this is where i live, y/n-ssi. remember?” yoongi reminded you lightly. your mouth fell open dramatically. ah. you fucked up. no wonder you’d felt a little funny telling the driver your address.

“oh. oh!” you blurted, looking around quickly. your eyes searched for any lingering people, cameras in bushes, that type of thing. suddenly, you felt a lot more sober. “shit. i’m sorry yoongi-ssi. let me just—”

you pulled up an app on your phone, ready to call your roommate to come get you instead of risking lingering around and being caught. but before you could do that, yoongi’s hand gently tapped your shoulder. you turned and he was standing with the door half-open. “just come in.” he said, hand trailing down your arm to take your hand in his.

blushing like a teenager on their very first walk of shame, you follow him past the lobby to the elevators. you can’t help but be a little shocked at all the marble and sleek steel around you. of course you knew of bts before you met yoongi, but you worked a very busy corporate job that made it hard to have hobbies. but even with all the small promotions you had gotten in the last ten years, you knew you would never afford luxury like this. min yoongi was rich rich. you realize.

when you glance at him, you suddenly feel nervous. you had been upright with him since day one about keeping the flirting polite and secret. you had a good job of your own and were very independent. yoongi liked that, he’d told you multiple times. you both liked to take relationships slow, mature and sensible adults as you were. but now you’d done it. you’d showed up and invaded his space, without the two of you ever discussing “dating”. as far as you knew, you were just another fling of this big superstar. perhaps you were making him uncomfortable? you two hadn’t even held hands until now.

you looked down at your clasped hands. yoongi was looking at something on his phone to bide the ride up to his floor. he was dressed in simple black sweats and a t-shirt but there was a rolex on his wrist. if you moved your wrist just a little, the cold sweat on your body would smudge the glass. are those diamonds? like real fucking diamonds? you wondered, staring at the shining jewels around the glass.

“something wrong, y/n-ssi?” yoongi asked. you jolted, pulling your hand back.

“n-no! nothing at all!” you replied a beat too late, mind still fuzzy. man, you really needed a nap.

yoongi looked down, where his rolex-clad hand dangled by his side. then he pulled his mask down, chewing his upper lip. “do you want me to drop you home?”

just the mention of getting in a car had you feeling nauseous. his home was even further from your place than the bar had been. and now that you know that min yoongi is rich rich, you can’t risk it. god, what if i threw up on his, like, hand-crafted leather seats or something?

the elevator dinged and slid open to reveal yoongi’s floor.

you followed him quietly down the long, marble hallway to the very last door. yoongi’s apartment. he glanced at you as he tapped the numbers into the electronic lock. you looked away sharply at the plant outside his neighbour’s house instead. you hadn’t seen the code, so why did you feel so guilty?

“sorry to intrude.” you said as you enter his home. yoongi didn’t reply, just nudged the pair of guest slippers towards you with his foot. you took off your shoes, watching yoongi with a bit of awe as he strode into the house and turned on the lights. was his back always that broad?

“what did you do today?” you asked, cringing at how it sounds like a question a partner would ask.

the sound of the fridge opening and closing answered you. a second later, yoongi appeared behind you. he lightly tapped your elbow as he came around you to sit on the large sofa. you followed, sitting down at the edge of your seat.

“i worked in the studio today. we’re preparing for our new album.” yoongi answered in short but polite sentences. he opened a can of beer in his hand. “how was yours? you mentioned you had a presentation today.”

you flushed. you couldn’t believe he remembered that, you had told the deadline for your project that weeks ago. “it was good. we went for drinks afterwards.” you explained, your leg bouncing at your side. “what do you usually do when you get home?”

yoongi set the can on the coffee table. he leaned into the sofa, facing you. “depends on the schedule we had that day. if i’m tired i’ll just eat, wash up, and go to bed. if i’m feeling good, i do all of that plus a drink or two.”

“you feel good today?” you asked, your heart jumping to your throat when he smiled against the cushion.

“yes.” yoongi answered, eyes not leaving yours. “i do.”

you cleared your throat. a notification popped up and you glanced down at your phone, happy for a split second away from yoongi’s eyes that make you feel hot inside. your roommate was asking where you were. “my roommate can come get me soon.”

“i’ll order us something to eat. text her once we’re done eating.”

you nodded numbly, looking at the can of beer on the table rather than at yoongi. alcohol really was the bane of your existence. you were so embarrassed to look this way in front of yoongi.

you and yoongi engaged in some more small talk once he ordered food. he asked you what you would like to watch on netflix and handed you the remote to put it on. in the meantime, he said he would go get your food. you felt embarrassed when he said your food. it was a reminder that you showed up uninvited and that he was probably just too nice to kick you out.

your sadness seemed to amplify the tiredness. without knowing, you drifted off in the few minutes between when you put the show on and yoongi’s return.

when you woke, there was something soft but firm in your face like a pillow. it smelled like laundry detergent and feels warm and cozy. you buried your face into it, sighing in comfort. a moment later, you felt fingertips gently card through your hair. was that your roommate pulling you in for one of her random cuddle sessions?

you adjusted again, pushing yourself up against your pillow. you were about to drift back asleep when a deep voice filled your ears. “do you want to eat yet?” yoongi asked.

you startled, sitting up as fast as you could. you looked down, horrified. you were laying on top of yoongi’s chest, your head having been tucked in the space between his neck and shoulder. yoongi, who had been scrolling on his phone until now, turned his phone off at your worried expression. “what is it, y/n-ssi?”

you grabbed your own phone off the coffee table to check the time. it’s 10:30 now. your roommate was probably asleep by now. and here you were, still drunk and laying on top of a man who wasn’t even your boyfriend yet. shit, shit, shit.

“i’m sorry. i really need to leave.” you said, climbing off yoongi. your eyes catch on an unopened pizza box on the armchair next to the sofa, feeling extremely guilty. this was terrible. you ruined everything.

yoongi was kind, too kind for you. he took you in despite the risk of cameras catching you outside his apartment. he bought you dinner just for you to fall asleep and not let him eat it. your own place was too far from here, a taxi would cost a ton. and on top of it all, you weren’t even dating. what the hell were you supposed to do now?

“i’ll drop you.” yoongi’s voice was back to normal, no longer sleepy. as expected, he didn’t try to make you stay. whether that was out of courtesy or just because you were annoying to him, it burned. “but aren’t you hungry?” he asked.

on cue, your stomach grumbled.

yoongi laughed. “sit down, i’ll warm some up for us.”

the two of you ate quietly, awkwardly.

when you were done, you stood up. fuck it, you would have to pay the big taxi fare and endure the nausea. you couldn’t bother yoongi anymore. so you said a quick thanks for dinner without looking him in the eye, ready to run for it.

“y/n.” yoongi’s voice stopped you. “are you sure you want to go home?”

yoongi’s cheeks were pink when he looked at you. he scratched the back of his neck. “you can spend the night here, if you like.” when your eyes widened, his did, too. “i have a guest room. a guest room with a bathroom and everything.”

still drunk and crushing too hard on min yoongi, you smiled. “okay.”

but as you took a step towards him, you nearly slipped on the polished surface of the hallway. you groaned as he caught you, embarrassed. you were going to kill your boss for making you drink this much.

steadily, yoongi guided you to the guest bedroom and sat you on the bed. you wait for him to return and when he does, it’s with a packet of makeup wipes and a brand-new toothbrush still in its pack. purple. you noticed as he set the latter on the duvet. interesting.

you startled when his hand cupped your face, guiding you back to look at him. “close your eyes.” he whispered, face only a few inches from yours. you let him wipe off the light makeup you wore every day to work. when you opened your eyes, yoongi was giving you that same look from earlier. like you were something special, something whose true value only he knows. like you were made of gold.

your eyes fell to his lips. you inhaled, ready to take your chances.

yoongi closed the space, kissing you sweetly. his hands cupped your face, and yours wound around his broad back. it felt perfect.

when you separated, the two of you were breathless. seeing each other’s flushed faces, you laughed together.

when you come back from borrowing yoongi’s shower, the lights in the house were off except for yoongi’s room. he smiled as you slid into bed beside him. he reached over you to turn the lights off, then pulled you in against his side. your heart fluttered when you felt him tuck the duvet in around you.

“yoongi?” you asked. under your ear, his heartrate got a little faster. he must’ve thought you were asleep. “we’re—we’re a thing right?” you ventured, hoping all of this was real. that min yoongi wasn’t the kind of guy who could do this for every fling.

yoongi laughed under his breath. “obviously, baby.” he replied, kissing the top of your head. you smiled as you fall asleep beside him.

#bts fics #bts fluff #yoongi x reader #yoongi x oc #yoongi x you #suga x you #suga x oc #suga x reader #suga fluff #yoongi fluff

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btsandvmin · 4 years ago

Text

Ask: Reply - 2021.04.16

Time to answer some more of your questions. I have a lot this time, and still a lot left I’ll have to save to another post. You are all very good at being curious and asking interesting questions. There are also some asks that are replies to old asks, and then I’ll include the link to the referenced post.

This time the topics will be:

Ask 1 - About KTH1 and expectations Ask 2 - KTH1 spoiler with “Oh lady” Ask 3 - Vminies getting superiority complex Ask 4 - Not dismissing the bond between Vmin and the other boys Ask 5 - Other people’s words can influence your thoughts Ask 6 - Vmin not sharing rooms in Bon Voyage Malta Ask 7 - Has being a Vmin shipper always been so overwhelming with all the content? Ask 8 - “Just a friend” interview Ask 9 - The garnet necklace Ask 10 - Vmin in CMs Ask 11 - Taehyung uncomfortable about shipping/tae*kook? Ask 12 - What did Jimin write on his shirt in Run ep. 53? Ask 13 - Gina Maeng ask follow up Ask 14 - Vmin’s love is beautiful (and so much nice praise omg)

Today’s post is a long one... Enjoy!

Ask 1 - About KTH1 and expectations

Ok, so I did write a shit post about this... (I mean… This is literally all Vmin’s songs so far ), but I still think your questions are worth a proper answer.

Honestly I think speculating about KTH1 is kind of hard, and as seen in the shit post I am quite torn with my expectations... In general I am the type who doesn’t like to expect too much in fear of being disappointed. I rather be pleasantly surprised. That being said Vmin does have a track record of getting involved in each other’s songs. I mean a lot is just speculation of course, but we do have confirmed cases as well, enough to not be too surprised if they would keep it up and do something for Tae’s solo album as well. (Tae saying his mixtape would be named Jimin back in 2016 still haunts me.)

On the other hand, they have already given us a lot of collabs. Adding more would feel more like a statement, at least if it would be only Jimin out of the members on that album. The thing is that if Vmin would have something “real” or at least if they are a bit careful with how they come across... I am not sure they would do something too “obvious”. But where such a line would be drawn is impossible to know. I mean clearly they managed to write and sing Friends and it worked fine, even if they did get more attention as a ship.

We also know Tae has been quite loud about Jimin in ways that single him out, so maybe they would really dare push the boundaries as far as actually including Jimin in the album somehow. It’s also very possible there could be other members, and honestly we probably shouldn’t hyper focus too much on it and that it has to mean something no matter if anyone is on it or not.

I think one of the rappers being on it is probably more likely out of the members, but it seems Tae has shown an interest in collabs with people outside of BTS, so that’s kind of what I am expecting the most. No matter who in the group is on it I am sure fans will make a big deal out of it, and maybe Tae would rather have his own thing for his first album. I really don’t know how his thoughts would go.

But again, looking at how Tae and Jimin has talked about working together, and have had moments like Tae promising Jimin a song or Tae saying they will work together again... It’s definitely not impossible to get another Vmin song. I do feel it’s more likely for any connections to be vague and not instantly noticeable though (at least not anything romantic looking because we know what happened to the Christmas song). Especially considering how they have only recently revealed things like 4 clock’s inspiration more openly and had Friends followed by Sweet Night. My main stance for any possible real ship is still that they have reason to be careful, and yet another Vmin collab, on Taehyung’s first personal album would probably raise some eyebrows considering everything else we already have. But it could also be me over analyzing them, and maybe they just really like and want to work together. Tae for sure has after all been vocal about this preference and want to work with Jimin.

So yeah, on one hand they have a track record that is hard to ignore... But on the other I wonder if they might want to add another “point” for ARMY to look at them and their songs. I also don’t want to assume that if there are songs on there that sound romantic that they automatically will be about Jimin. There will have to be legit possible connections for me to acknowledge them.

It’s tricky. I guess we will have to wait and see. I am kind of scared both that there won’t be anything or that there will be SOMETHING. Thank you for the ask, and I hope I shed some light on my thoughts on this subject. Either way I am very excited and looking forward to an album full of Taehyung’s own songs and the stories he wants to tell.

Ask 2 - KTH1 spoiler with “Oh lady”

I am not sure it is “lady”, since it’s a bit unclear in general. He also has a part that just seems to go “do be do” and I don’t know if the lyrics are even finished or if he worked with someone else etc. We basically lack a lot of information. But even so using lady/her/she etc. in a song doesn’t have to mean it is about a specific person or that the person is a she or that it is Taehyung’s own feelings (I know he said he usually sings about things he have felt, but just saying it doesn’t always have to be).

Of course I don’t want to downplay it and say it doesn’t mean anything, but considering their fanbase is majority women, they live in a homophobic country and he has even been denied to sing a romantic song with a man before, it’s not impossible to add that to make it more “relatable” or less “gay”. God, that sounds terrible. I don’t want to start discussions where we don’t take their words for what they are, so I hope you might understand my point of view. That being said of course it could just as easily be to or about a specific woman in his life that we don’t know about. Or as you say, he isn’t actually in love but is simply writing love songs that could be inspired by non-romantic relationships or movies etc. as was the case for his inspiration for Winter Bear.

Tae also used “she” in Winter Bear, and that seems a bit forgotten. Or people try to say it has to be about his grandmother... Which we obviously don’t know, it’s just the woman people jump to since he used “she” and many people don’t like the idea of him dating a woman or writing about a woman we don’t know. Either way I think we need to remember that anything is possible and we don’t know them personally and how they think or why they choose to do what they do.

I think we need to remember that there is always going to be the possibility that ships aren’t real, that the romantic songs aren’t about Jimin and that either one of them could be in a relationship with someone else (all genders included).

Ask 3 - Vminies getting superiority complex

Hello! I want to address something that has been bothering me for a while now. I have been seeing some vminnies have a superiority complex just bcoz they ship vmin. Its very rampant among new vminnies and twt vminnies. I get that we all feel validated and happy when out OTP claim to be soulmates and bff. I feel that way too. But people have to remember that vmin are real people and their relationship is dynamic. Like they did grow from bff who used to tease e/o and fight alot to soulmates who are gentle and caring. Who is to say that one day they wont drift apart (i hope not and dont think thats gonna happen but for argument sake) so there is no reason to feel superior or look down on other shippers.

If people think vminnies are superior bcoz they are not toxic they probably know they are lying. Lbr i have seen my share of toxic vminnies though may be a lesser number but they are there and its not the ship but its that particular person who is at fault. While i agree that some ship theories cultivate hate and toxicity there may be people among those ships who are just as sane and good as we claim to be. I just wanted to address this bcoz seeing some vminnies on twt saying locals thinking vmin were tgt after coway add is a validation kind of triggered me. I m sure there would have been similar responses to any other ship bcoz they all have been tgt for a decade and are very comfortable with e/o. I just wanted to talk to someone about this and i know you have discussed similar topics in the past. So yeah this was very long.

First of all, on request I won’t show your name, but thank you for sending me this and letting me know who you are. It’s always nice to know who is behind the question. But that being said I don’t mind people asking on anon, I totally get it being a lot easier to ask or question things when you don’t have to reveal yourself. Either way I am just glad to get interesting and important topics and I do think the things you bring up are worth talking about.

As you say, there is this thing when people start to feel and act superior for various reasons, and I too have seen some Vminies do this. Getting a lot of moments is sure nice. But honestly, just imagine if another ship came and mocked Vmin or gloated every time they got more moments. It has surely happened too, and I am sure it doesn’t feel very nice when on the negative end. Just be a decent human, ship moments will always vary and it’s great to be happy about getting moments, but there is no need to compare or look down on other ships. I say it again, shipping is not a competition, just enjoy your own ship and let others enjoy theirs.

As for feelings superior based on group behavior I think we really need to stop looking at groups and start looking at individuals, both when it comes to groups we are part of and groups we consider “bad”. I have said it many times, but individuals of other groups we don’t agree with won’t all be bad, or all stupid or young etc. We might want to tell ourselves they are worse, but it really doesn’t change much.

Being “less bad” it not a merit and it shouldn’t be a competition. We all have our own selves to answer to and we should judge other people based on their actions and not based on what group they might belong to.

I think size and the toxicity of a narrative can lead to more people in certain groups behaving in toxic ways... But I think any person could happen to fall into these behaviors if not careful and aware. Often the change is gradual too, or you feel attacked by the other “rival group” and thus feel it’s justified to attack back, and so it escalates.

Vminies are at the moment as a group smaller, and thus have less “bad apples”. We likely also have a narrative for Vmin that doesn’t require as toxic mindsets, for example extreme jealousy or Vmin being forced to hide. But there for sure are still toxic Vminies, and there are also a lot of non-toxic shippers in all groups. Usually the louder ones are also the worst ones while the chill and nice will remain in their own lane and ship more peacefully. But being part of a smaller group doesn’t make you superior, your actions is what is important.

As for small moments getting noticed or other types of “validation” for your ship, of course it’s going to feel nice. However, what people see and think of any relationship in BTS is still just an outsider view and literally has no meaning for their actual relationship beyond it being a cute moment. That’s why size and popularity also doesn’t matter as any kind of “proof”. Interpretation will always just be interpretation, good or bad, if you like it or not.

Sadly I think we will get more and more toxic behavior from more ships as the fandom grows and as some things get more normalized within those ships’ communities. It’s about certain behaviors growing into a community culture... The more toxicity that is allowed the more others will follow. That’s why bringing up the problems is important, but trying to do so without shunning people so that they don’t go and create their own space where everyone else is the enemy. After all, being open and welcoming and understanding is much more likely to make someone listen and even change their mind than by attacking them.

I answer for my own actions. So does every person. I don’t want to be judged for everything every Vminie or ARMY or Multi K-pop fan etc. has done. Generalization is a huge problem in general, not just in fandoms or ship wars. I do try to be a positive influence, to not judge too harshly and to remember that being hostile won’t help any situation. But that’s about it. I am glad you brought up this topic, because talking about it is important, but sadly I don’t think there is a lot that can be done about it. Just try to be nice and open minded.

Thank you for the ask, I hope you all understood what I wanted to say.

Ask 4 - Not dismissing the bond between Vmin and the other boys

Thank you. I really see no need for it. It’s clear as day that they all love each other, and even if one pair would happen to be romantic instead of platonic that won’t change. We don’t have to compare and we definitely don’t have to downplay the moments they share with each other. All shippers should at the very least accept the the things they do and say as mostly genuine. I trust BTS and what they show us, it’s that easy.

I know some also get influenced by toxic fans, but we really need to remember that no narratives by fans matter when it comes to reality and what bonds BTS share with each other. They are all great people and seem to have such love and respect for each other I frankly don’t understand how you can be a fan if you think any of it is played up to the point some claim.

Likely no ship in BTS is real, but if any is, to me I am sure the ones involved would be happy and supported by the rest of the members. That’s why it doesn’t really matter what ship would be real or not real as long as they are happy. We shouldn’t let our own views and sometimes want or hopes affect the way be judge their reality. This applies for things outside shipping as well.

Thank you for your kind words. :)

Ask 5 - Other people’s words can influence your thoughts

Indeed. The brain is a powerful thing. This is very obvious if you are a multi-shipper or a general fan, but BTS truly has a lot of questionable moments between all kinds of pairs. Focus is a interesting thing. If you like something you will notice it more, and you will also remember it more while you forget other moments. Likewise if something is “negative” like a rival ship you are likely to notice them more as well. This happens even if you just watch the general content and get your own bias. Imagine then how it might influence you when others keep repeating either your happy interpretations or things you worry about? You’ll get it stuck in your head and remember it more than other things.

Like isn’t it funny how we might gush about Vmin sharing beds, or worry about ji/kook or tae/kook cuddling while hope/kook literally sleep wrapped around each other in both Bon Voyage 3 and 4? Sometimes it’s all about perspective.

By now we need to realize that fan perspective will influence us a lot. And in particular if a lot of people say it or if it is presented in a way that makes it sound logical and intelligent. Words have power.

I still think using “Vmin is dead” or spreading worry often in itself leads to people thinking it and it being somehow accepted as fact. In similar fashion getting to hear about certain ships or certain narratives will make us notice things in relation to that. My own words and posts too will have influence on some people that read them. That’s why I try to be so careful, and why I try to avoid using strong words or claims that might cement themselves in someone’s mind. (I’ll actually talk more about the power of language in my big analysis as well)

Thank you for your input, it’s definitely an interesting thing to consider and another aspect of why shipping mentality is so complicated.

Ask 6 - Vmin not sharing rooms in Bon Voyage Malta

Hi and yes, I have answered this before HERE, but it’s ok. I know it’s not easy finding old topics amongst my collection posts.

Collection of asks - BTSandVMIN Collection of asks 2 - BTSandVMIN Collection of asks 3 - BTSandVMIN

In short I think Vmin wanted to share rooms but that Taehyung got fooled when Jimin stopped him from checking the upper room. Because it seemed like Jimin stopped him from walking into that room by saying he couldn’t peak Tae probably assumed it wasn’t Jimin’s room and that when Jimin said it was his room he was joking (his face was definitely something). So yeah, I think he just got fooled by Jimin’s statement about not being allowed to look inside the room before picking. There are other interesting things about this whole moment, but the one thing we should take away from it is how it is one out of now many examples that seem to show that Vmin have a preference to share rooms/beds. Thank you for the ask. :)

Ask 7 - Has being a Vmin shipper always been so overwhelming with all the content?

I wouldn’t say it’s something recent. I say it often, but we really do get very intense periods from time to time with many of the ships. For example in February 2017 with ISAC, fan signs and everything else we got a lot of Vmin too. I remember being overwhelmed myself, and that was coming out of BST era Vmin. We got many moments every day and that’s just one specific period I can remember.

Over the years sometimes we do get these very intense days or weeks with a lot of moments at once. Usually I get asks like “do you think something is up with Vmin lately” or “wow I can’t believe how much Vmin we have gotten lately” but really, it’s hard to tell, because it really does happen from time to time. I also still say we always get Vmin moments regularly as long as we get BTS content, but sometimes a bit more and sometimes less. I am sure there will be more times when we also get “Vmin is dead“ and worried people because we get less moments than they expect. It just happens, up and down and around it goes.

As for what ships are big I will definitely say Ji/kook and Tae/kook are the biggest, but that all BTS ships are big by now. Meaning as soon as we do get moments it will be seen online. Especially if you follow people who talk about it of course. I also think what platform you are on can result in some ships being seen more than others. For example I know ji/kook is by far the biggest BTS ship here on Tumblr while Youtube seems to have more tae/kookers.

Thank you for the ask. Let’s hope Vmin keeps overwhelming us. (But let’s not start to worry if they don’t) ;)

Ask 8 - “Just a friend” interview

Ah yes, I have a bit of a soft spot for this interview myself. I am not sure, but I think it might be from 2017 (since Tae wrote a birthday letter to Jimin in 2016), or at least that’s when I found it and saved it down. I haven’t actually tracked the original source. You can find the translation in the link shared HERE, credits to @95z.

Seeing this close after the chaos of Let’s BTS and other letter confessions it really does seem very cringe for them to express sincere thoughts in these more formal ways. I can’t blame them.

I do think this interview is yet another example of how much Vmin has tried to adapt to each other, learn and be more open with expressing how they feel. They literally inspire and learn from each other in how to express themselves. Isn’t it completely endearing?

I also love how they get each other to feel strong emotions and how they are there for each other when in need. On a slightly more analytical note I also can’t help but note the “just a friend” vs “soulmate” descriptions and how they seem to have a hard time putting it into proper words. We already know this of course, but yeah... They really don’t have an easy time describing their relationship.

Thank you so much for sharing this moment. I was going to talk about it in my big analysis anyways, but honestly I can’t save everything for it, and you mentioned it so who am I to keep it to myself.

Ask 9 - The garnet necklace

Oh yeah, I know that JK wore it once and that the talk was that a fan gave it to all of maknae line. Not much was ever confirmed from what I know, but regardless it doesn’t change why I think it’s a Vmin/soulmate necklace and why I see it as special.

Here is the thing, when I use “Vmin thing” it really doesn’t have to be exclusive. To me it’s the context around it and how they have used it and even reacted to it that makes the garnet necklace something special for Vmin. In the case of the soulmate necklace Vmin wore it a lot. Almost constantly during a big part of 2017 and even a bit into 2018. They also wore it at the same time a lot. I find this very cute, and we all know “couple items” is something all fans enjoy even if it would just be a platonic relationship behind it. But if both of them wearing it was all there was, as a lot of Vmin sharing clothes (or BTS in general sharing clothes) I wouldn’t really think too much about it beyond it being cute. It could still be just a cute thing that Vmin did, but I personally see it as something beyond the normal clothes/jewelry sharing.

(At the very least you can remember Vmin did this while people thought their relationship was dead, which doesn’t make much sense to do if you hate or dislike someone.)

The things I find more noteworthy about this necklace is the fact that the fandom picked up on it and because they wore it so much and so often at the same time it was dubbed the “soulmate necklace”. Possibly knowing this Tae also brought specific attention to the necklace at two times, as if wanting to show it off. Interestingly enough, in one of these times Jimin seemed to ignore Taehyung who was bringing attention to it on purpose. For me it came across as another thing Taehyung wanted to show off and that Jimin was a bit more careful about.

Of course I could have read it wrong, maybe Jimin just misunderstood. But even so, Tae did bring attention to it in specific relation to Jimin. You can watch the clip HERE. (BTS Tell Us What They Love About Each Other & An Update On Tony & Nate From America Hustle Life)

The other time was in Run ep. 39, right after Vmin talked about being in school together and showing off their school uniforms. If Tae is the one to try and highlight something, I feel it likely has some meaning to him at least.

Either way the necklace is basically a symbol of Vmin’s relationship and the fact that they liked it so much and wore it together during a long period I think they liked wearing it not only because they both happened to like the design but because they both had it. If JK also had one and didn’t use it of course it could include him, but I will still say it remains significant for Vmin’s bond with each other.

As for buying a necklace together they haven’t talked about this one in particular, but Tae did mention he bought his tiger necklace with Jimin in NY, so maybe you are mixing the two things up?

Ask 10 - Vmin in CMs

Thank you for loving my blog and for the ask! :) I am not sure if you perhaps meant in a lot of BTS own photoshoots/units as well, but I’ll focus on CMs in this post since that was your direct example. I might go a bit beyond here, but I saw it as a good chance to revisit some Vmin ad moments.

I wouldn’t personally say we have gotten “way more” but I do think because of their Friends unit they got to do some more interviews together and some CM stuff too. I also think we have gotten more BTS commercials in general now, likely because it’s an income alternative to touring during the pandemic. So that obviously means more CMs, and more chances for them to be paired up. They also have gotten paired with others of course (like in the Bodyfriend CM or Baskin Robbins), but most commonly they aren’t divided in smaller groups at all.

We also have gotten Vmin paired up before, both in photoshoots and in CMs. Of course we saw some great ones in 2016 with Puma and NUGU, but I don’t think we got that much more in 2016 and before than in 2017-2019. I think what we can see is BTS having more endorsements after Covid.

Like honestly, the Puma adds are iconic. Of course the original one, but also the revisits from 2018. Puma definitely seemed to like to pair Vmin in particular. (There are so many good examples from Puma that I’m not including)

We also got a snippet in the Hyundai one, also from 2018.

Another snippet from the Coconut Chicken ad from 2017.

I mean, I don’t know if I should count the snippets at all, like from BTS x VT cosmetics in 2019, but I feel sometimes just being seen in the same frame seems to get attention as being paired up so. (I decided to not include being together when it’s at least a third member in the frame)

And guys... Have you ever watched BTS and the milk song?

What did we get so far more recently? In 2020 we had the Hyundai interview.

And the hyundai #PositiveEnergyChallenge

Fila provided a nice one, also from 2020.

Samsung gave us a snippet recently.

Coway was basically couple goals and like the best one in my own opinion (besides Puma because it is going to take a lot to beat Puma).

But other than that? I don’t think we have seen it that much, have we? I am not complaining or anything, like I am happy with what we got, but I don’t know if it’s that much. I might forget some obvious ones, but these were the ones I had top of mind. Feel free to add ads if you can think of more recent ones that I left out.

So I think we have gotten more BTS ads in general, also more where they are not all of them or single focus, and that we have seen maybe Vmin getting paired a little more after Friends. But to me there is such a small difference I can’t really say if it is anything particular to Vmin or just BTS doing more CMs.

I mean, I don’t have a sheet of who has been paired with who and how many times over the years. But either way I don’t think we should look too deeply into things like CMs or even photoshoots units. Thanks for the ask though, I hope you enjoyed this mini collection. :)

Ask 11 - Taehyung uncomfortable about shipping/tae*kook?

So this is a thought sent in after THIS ASK though it really brings up a new subject, which is that of Tae possibly being uncomfortable with shipping. As for Tae saying that to a tae/kooker in particular I think we have to remember it could very easily just have been in the moment and we can’t know why he decided to reply to that person in particular.

The Vmin post was not invasive and it wasn’t romantic. I mean, I do think Tae keeps showing again and again that if there is any person in BTS that is special to him it’s Jimin. But the difference in the posts also likely matters, but we can’t know how much. We don’t know if Tae would feel annoyed if a Vminie wrote the same thing as the tae/kooker did, and we don’t know if it was just in that moment that he got fed up with the shipping discourse in general, or if it was because it was tae/kook.

Honestly any shipper, regardless if a ship would eventually prove to be real or not, should not go and invade spaces where the boys get exposed to it. We don’t know if Taehyung would have reacted in a similar way if it happened to be another ship.

Personally I don’t think tae/kook drifted apart as a result of shipping, because honestly they still kept being pretty intimate physically and engaged in fanservice on stage etc. If they truly were uncomfortable with the idea I just don’t think they would “feed it” much at all. I think as they said in ITS they just, kind of changed and it became harder to talk. I’ve talked more about tae/kook and my views on their bond in THIS POST and a little in THIS POST as well as about BTS possible stance on shipping HERE.

I also think all of BTS has a pretty good distance from hate and fandom speculations in general. I think that because they know about shipping and partly also feed into it they probably expect crazy people to some degree as well, even if they probably don’t like it. Hetero shippers as well, or solo stans etc. have very toxic behaviors at times, but I think BTS can recognize that it is kind of “bound to happen” with their popularity, no matter what they do about it. Not saying they would like it, and they could definitely feel awkward or annoyed because of it, but it doesn’t seem to bother them too much as I think they can detach themselves from it pretty well.

I also think “fan opinions” in form of rival shipping wouldn’t really harm a hidden couple as it first would likely be a sort of “shield” and second because they have their relationships and are likely comfortable with them on their own terms. What fans think is probably secondary.

It is possible that they could get annoyed or frustrated at times, but again, if they truly felt bothered by it they probably wouldn’t do a lot of the things they do. Because I am sure they are aware to some degree that fans scrutinize their every move and ship moments. Both Tae and Jimin are some of the most physical out of the members, and also some of the members that seem to like to initiate fanservice moments... So I doubt they would have much problem and can feel secure enough in their relationship no matter what fans think.

Ask 12 - What did Jimin write on his shirt in Run ep. 53?

Hi, I guess you got curious after I talked about this episode recently in my post Ask: Reply - 2021.03.30 (Ask 8 - Going down the rabbit hole, micromoments and shipping vs believing).

I don’t know hangul, but I do know what “Jimin” looks like. On Jimin’s shirt from behind the scenes of Run ep. 53 you can see he’s written his own name “지민” Jimin followed by what looks to be “ 님 “ which is nim. So basically the text on the container in the picture says Sir Jimin.

Jimin seemed very keen on writing his name on both his own shirt and on Tae’s and even tried on JK’s. He failed of course, but he sure did try.

Thank you for the ask, and isn’t Tae cute?

Ask 13 - Gina Maeng ask follow up

Glad you liked my reply. :) (From Ask: Reply - 2021.03.30 Ask 4 - Idols dating members of the same group). Yeah I get what you mean, talking about it openly I suppose isn’t so normal. But since it seems to be more and more fans who assume it happens to some degree maybe it’s not so strange if it starts getting more talked about as well. I’ll take it as a good sign, even if the information is nothing new in itself, being more open is going to make it easier for fans to realize it’s possible for their idols to be LGBT+ or have hidden relationships.

As for K-Population it doesn’t seem to be too well known, but it’s one of few actual examples to be found. So yeah, interesting that we know it has happened, and also that it shows what risks it could mean to get involved with a group member. I think the risk of a falling out is something a lot of shippers tend to forget. Anyways, thank you for your reply. ^_^

Ask 14 - Vmin’s love is beautiful (and so much nice praise omg)

Oh my... I am not sure I have ever been called sweetheart by anyone ever before. Thank you! You are making me blush with all the praise. 💜💜💜

But really, we can all just watch Vmin in awe and be happy they have each other and feel such immense love for each other, no matter what that love is. It’s kind of amazing. Like even if they are platonic their relationship is so wholesome and they put so much love and effort into it that it’s truly inspirational. I love when we get bombed with moments like this with a very intense period of great Vmin interactions. As you, me too never fail to feel all soft watching them together.

95z is love and what a love they share. Truly wonderful. 💜

You take care too, and really, thank you so much for this lovely message. it means a lot and is very heartwarming.

And with that sweet ask I’ll end the post. There was a lot of very different questions and I feel I could have written more about many of them, but alas I need to remember I can’t write full essays on everything or I would never get anything posted. Thank you all for reading and I hope you found my thoughts and speculations interesting. ^-^

#vmin #vmin analysis #btsandvmin #ask: reply #vmin collection #vmin ad #vmin cm #vmin commercial #vmin gif #vmin photo #bts shipping #btsandvmin answer #my post #Ask: Reply - 2021.04.16 #vmin soulmate necklace

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bangtan-sonyeonddaeng · 4 years ago

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:BTS OT7 Reaction:

You were nervous getting ready that morning for the fansign and you didn’t really understand why. You were still a month away from your due date, but you just had a weird feeling about today. You just chalked it up to nerves from finally getting to meet your favorite group and got ready to head out the door.

As you all were herded into the room to wait in line for the members you felt some discomfort in your stomach. You rested your hand on there and rubbed gently over it. You felt your daughter kick up into your hand and smiled. Your baby was okay, maybe a little bit more active today than usual and that was why your stomach was feeling weird. As the members came in and sat at their chairs everyone clapped and cheered loudly. They all smiled and waved but when Namjoon and Hoseok spotted you their smiles turned even wider and waved more enthusiastically. You didn’t understand why. You had never met them before. Did they have you confused with someone else? You snapped back out of your thoughts and waved shyly back. The line started to move and you began feeling some pain in your stomach. It was minor, nothing really alarming. But you felt your heart rate pick up slightly in worry.

Oh please not here baby, just hold off at least until the signing is over.

You know she can’t read your thoughts but hope that some force in the universe is listening to you so you don’t go into labor right now. You approach Namjoon first and his dimples are on full display as he smiles at you.

“Hi! What’s your name?”

“It’s y/n.”

“It’s so nice to meet you. I hope this isn’t weird to say but you are absolutely glowing! When are you due?”

“Oh you really think so? Thank you so much. I’m due in just over a month actually. Although I have a sneaking suspicion she’s coming earlier than I thought.” His eyes widen at that.

“Like here? Now?! Oh my gosh do you need me to call someone?” You laugh and shake your head at his slightly panicked expression.

“No no it’s fine. I didn’t mean now. Thank you for your concern though.” He nods and smiles at you again.

“Well I wish you the best. You and your baby.” He signs your album and passes it down to Hoseok next who’s absolutely beaming at you.

“Hello! Oh my goodness you look adorable. And hello little one!” He waves at your stomach. “Are you having a boy or a girl?”

“A girl.”

“Did you name her yet?”

“Hmm nope. I have an idea, but I think the final name will come to me after she’s born and I can see her.” Hoseok smiles and signs your album you see what he’s written and feel a warmth spreading in your chest.

To y/n and her little one! I hope you grow up happy and fill the world with hope.

“Hoseok that is so sweet. Thank you.”

Yoongi is next and he barely gets a hello out before a sharp pain wracks through your stomach. You double over in pain. Yoongi shoots out of his chair and places a hand on your back.

“Hey, are you okay?”

You shake your head and he waves the staff over. But before any can reach you, you feel your water break. Yoongi’s eyes widen.

“Oh my gosh. You’re going into labor. Oh god what do I do?!” He looks to Namjoon for help who’s eyes are just as surprised as his. He walks over to you with a few staff members and they help guide you to a back room away from the prying eyes of the fans. Yoongi tries to shuffle back with you but the staff tell him to sit. He grumbles in frustration and sits back down, nervously biting his nails as he’s worried about you. He heard you tell Namjoon your baby wasn’t due for another month. Were you and your baby okay?

You sit on a couch and groan loudly in pain again as another contraction hits. You don’t realize that you’re squeezing the life out of Namjoon’s hand until he makes a hiss in pain. You immediately let go.

“Sorry!”

“No no it’s okay. The staff called an ambulance for you they should be here any minute.”

“I don’t think she’s going to wait another minute, Namjoon.”

He looks at your stomach and points his finger at your belly.

“Hey! Listen little princess. I know you want to make your grand entrance early but at least wait until you get to the hospital! Do your mom a favor okay?” You laugh at that but it’s quickly cut off by another pained noise.

“Namjoon! EMS is here now they’ll take y/n to the hospital." Everything happens so fast you don’t even register you’re in the ambulance until you go over a bump and another painful contraction hits. You also didn’t notice Namjoon asking the staff which hospital they were taking you to.

Shortly after you had arrived to the hospital you had given birth to a healthy baby girl. She looks just like you. She doesn’t cry very much as she is instantly soothed and stops crying once she is placed in your arms. You feel tears welling up in your eyes as you glance down at her, already so in love with her and wanting to do everything you can to make sure she grows up happy and healthy. You thought back to the message Hoseok had wrote for you in your album and can’t help but think that you picked the perfect name for her. You are singing softly to her under your breath when there is a knock on your door. Your nurse comes in with a confused look on her face.

“Um.. miss y/n? There is group of guys here to see you. Um.. 7 of them? Actually BTS is here to see you? I don’t even- Okay sorry I was just so flustered seeing all of them walk in. But they want to visit you should I let them?”

Now it’s your turn to be confused. You tilt your head but nod slowly. A few moments later you see Hoseok pop his head in.

“Hey Mama!” He sings at you and you can’t help but immediately laugh. Your baby starts to fuss in your arms and Hoseok slaps a hand over his mouth and whispers out a sorry. He approaches you and looks down at your little girl sleeping happily on your chest.

“She’s so cute!” Soon all of the members peek their heads in and wave, smiling fondly at the two of you.

Jimin walks in with a giant bouquet of flowers in his hand, Jungkook has a pink bear and Taehyung has a bouquet of pink balloons. They all set the gifts beside you on the table and you feel tears immediately welling up in your eyes.

“You guys.. you didn’t have to come here and you especially didn’t have to get me anything!” Jin grabs a tissue and lightly pats your eyes with it to dry your tears since your arms are full with your daughter.

“Nonsense. Of course we had to come and check on you and make sure you were okay. We all were worried when you went into labor. Poor Yoongi over here I think nearly chewed all his nails off because he was so nervous.”

“Shut up, hyung I did not. I just... didn’t want anything bad to happen to her or the baby if she didn’t make it to the hospital in time.”

“I guess my stern talking to worked.” Namjoon puffs out his chest proudly and you giggle quietly.

“Thank you all so much. Really. This means so much to me you don’t understand I wish I could repay your kindness.”

“You don’t have to thank us, really.” Namjoon says.

“Actually there is something you can do.” Taehyung says. You lift your eyebrow at him in question. “Sends lots of baby photos! And pictures of you too. We want to watch your little one grow up too. I know it might seem weird since we just met and all but, this baby is special to us too since you’re our fan and almost gave birth at our fan meet! I think it’s like a sign or something.” You feel fresh tears pooling in your eyes that the boys already care about you and your baby so much even if they only spoke a few words to you.

“Yeah! I agree with Taehyungie. Please let us still see her! Maybe even visit every once in a while. We can be like, her cool but overprotective uncles.” Jimin says with a giggle.

“And I can give you some of the baby shoes in my studio!” Namjoon offers.

“You guys stop you’re going to make me cry again!” Jin wipes at your eyes again and you thank him. “I would love to. My phone is in my purse just put your contact numbers in there.” Jungkook walks over and grabs your phone. He smiles when he sees Hoseok’s photo card in the back of it.

“Ah, so we all know now who your bias is.” He flashes the phone so the other members can see and you blush madly.

“Don’t get me wrong! I always switch out my photocards because I don’t have a bias. You guys are all so sweet in your own ways and are funny and incredibly handsome. I couldn’t possibly pick a bias.” They all smile at that but Hoseok speaks up from the seat next to your bed.

“But we all know I’m your favorite. It’s okay I won’t tell them.” He winks at you and you can’t help the chuckle that escapes you.

“Hey, noona what’s the password for your phone?” Jungkook asks.

“The day you debuted. 061313.” Jungkook smiles at that and puts the code in. He passes it around to the other members and they all put their number in. Yoongi is the last to and he creates a group chat for you and the other members.

“There. Now we can all see whatever photos you want to share with us.”

“Can we take one with you now?” Taehyung asks with his eyes shining.

“Sure. Can you ask my nurse to come in and take it for us?”

A few moments later you are surrounded by all of them and the photo is taken. You share it with the group chat and they all coo over how cute you and your baby look.

“By the way what did you name her?” Namjoon asks.

“Oh.. well I named her Hope. Because that’s what you all have given me. When I was struggling in my pregnancy and darkness threatened to take over I would listen to your music and I immediately was filled with happiness and hope. And also because whenever I played Hoseok’s mixtape she always seemed to be the most active and it felt like she was dancing in my stomach. Plus I also kind of thought it was very fitting too because of what Hoseok wrote in my album.”

Hoseok pumps his fist in the air. “Ha! I told you I was the favorite! I’m gonna be the favorite uncle you hear that?”

“No fair! You don’t know who she’s gonna like best. She’s a baby!” Jin argues. You watch them all bicker amongst themselves and can’t help but laugh and feel a fondness blooming in your chest watching them all.

“Why do I feel like I now am going to have 8 children in my life?” You ask Namjoon who has been quietly watching them with the same fond expression on his face.

“7 children. Don’t include me in on their chaos.” You laugh at that and Namjoon brings his hand over to gently run his hand over your daughter’s head.

“Hope is a good name. It suits her. You’re going to be a great mother y/n.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

“And I know we don’t know each other very well yet but I hope we can all change that. And if you ever need help with anything just let any of us know.”

“Okay. I will.”

“I’ll take the kids home. You go ahead and get some rest. We’ll come back and see you tomorrow?” He says it as a question, leaving the option for you to say no.

“I would love that.”

#bts reaction #bts scenario #bts imagine #bts #kim namjoon #rm #kim seokjin #jin #min yoongi #suga #park jimin #kim taehyung #v #jeon jeongguk #jeon jungkook

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hellishvu · 5 years ago

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Imagine BTS: and their kinks

Bottom! Bts x Top! Male Reader!

A/N: I- 7am smut is where i go, to my naughty corner CKSKD this got really nasty i need a church sometimes. oh well! dua lipa’s new album really helped me write this. lol everyone thank her. anyway hope quarantine is safe and good for you guys. i had a moment of silence because i was going through it with staying inside all day BLAH. hope this all goes away soon :( take care of yourselves <3 luv u

Kim Namjoon: <3

tags 🏷: swearing, praising, punishment, spanking, lingerie, cum, and rimming.

˚✧₊⁎ Namjoon lives off praise, from the beginning of your relationship your small compliments could make the man jump on you. If you wanted to make Namjoon cum the fastest, load him with praises and with your cock and it can be done.

˚✧₊⁎ He doesn’t shy away from punishment though, it makes praises that much special when he knows he gets it when he’s good. When Namjoon does something wrong please !! punish !! him.

˚✧₊⁎ Don’t shy away from it. Spank him and make him count every spank. Start over if he stutters or doesn’t respond in time. Make his ass red with your hand prints.

˚✧₊⁎ “One!... T-Two!... Y/N!” Namjoon cries out while you chuckle, enjoying this view of him bent over your lap. “Start over honey.” You rub his ass while he nods sniffing.

˚✧₊⁎ When Namjoon does something good please let him know, he thrives off of it. After a showcase or a tour let him rest and make him dinner. Big spoon him :(

˚✧₊⁎ But once he’s back up and his energy is up. Namjoon wants it all. Rim him to the gods, and buy him lingerie to gift him. He’ll literally melt in your arms. His favorite foreplay is rimming just because he loves to grind his ass against your face <33

Kim Seokjin: <3

tags 🏷: swearing, sex everywhere in the house, vanilla, cumming on him, and blowjobs

˚✧₊⁎ Seokjin really needs a horny police because he is always turned on. He’s not like Jimin where he’ll fuck anywhere in public but at home? Expect to fuck him everywhere in the house.

˚✧₊⁎ It started in the bathroom then moved to the living room and then the kitchen. Seokjin still dreams of the moment you gripped his thighs on the kitchen counters. Seokjin gives the small pout with his hand around your budge.

˚✧₊⁎ “I’m too horny to wait till we get to the bedroom. Just fuck me here.” Seokjin leans on the staircase while you smirk at him. “On the staircase?” You ask seeing Seokjin perfectly okay with the idea, already taking off his clothes.

˚✧₊⁎ I can see him as a occasional vanilla. He loves to have soft lovely sex in the bathtub. While you two just make out and touch each other gently. Sometimes he’ll enjoy when he’s sucking you off that you’ll cum on his face. Licking up his lips to taste you.

˚✧₊⁎ “You taste sweet. I want more.” Seokjin kisses you while you grip his ass to move Seokjin to sit on your lap.

Min Yoongi: <3

tags 🏷: cum denial, overstimulated, swearing, and tears

˚✧��⁎ Yoongi loves to not know if he can cum. He lives for the mystery of cumming. He would kiss you and hope it’s a good day. Or if he behaved well today, he would come to you happily knowing 75% of the time he would cum that day.

˚✧₊⁎ On the other hand, when you are simply not in the mood or if he’s done something bad. You would not let the sub cum :(. Yoongi would get so close he could feel his balls tighten. Then poof it’s gone.

˚✧₊⁎ “No! Please!” Yoongi grabs your sleeve of your shirt. His cock still red and leaking precum, you leave him there. “Not today kitten.” When Yoongi heard “not today” his cock twitched.

˚✧₊⁎ You would expect it would make the poor mans cock shrink but waiting for the release made it that much more exciting. And when that day comes Yoongi would cry out, fly to cloud 9 even. Cumming loads on his chest while you fuck him.

˚✧₊⁎ You would fuck him so many times on other days that he would cum after another and cry out over over sensitivity. You’ll let him have his break then back to making him empty, after these sessions he would just pass out.

˚✧₊⁎ “You okay kitten?” You ask while he finally woke up. He wakes up to you fonding with his hair and your warm embrace. “Never been better.” Yoongi kisses you.

Jung Hoseok: <3

tags 🏷: power bottom, walking in on sex, porn, dirty talk, stripping, and choking

˚✧₊⁎ Hoseok is a power bottom. Can we argue here? No. The man can be getting fucked at 100 mph but he would still make you lose your mind. Choking you while you fuck him, rolling his hips, clenching around you, and moaning out how well you fuck him.

˚✧₊⁎ “Your cock is just for me. Shit- I love the way your cock fits around me.” Hoseok groans describing just how well you feel in him.

˚✧₊⁎ Hoseok would love for people to watch him get fucked by you honestly, like if one of the members walked in? Okay? Like at first he would hide it and like cover himself up. But now he’s got no shame around the members.

˚✧₊⁎ Sometimes you two would watch porn together, Hoseok would ask you to finger him while you two watch. Mentions of a sex twitter you two anonymously post? Possibly but that’s a secret for you two to have <3

˚✧₊⁎ Strip dance or tease, Hoseok is the absolute profesional at that. He’ll know just the way to grind his hips on your lap, and the whispers in your ear while he leg is around your waist. Whew you had to stop yourself from fucking him then and there.

Park Jimin: <3

tags 🏷: freaky jimin, public sex, swearing, and mentions of sex toys.

˚✧₊⁎ Jimin is so freaky like I cannot begin with this beautiful son of a bitch. Jimin loves to do things in public places.

˚✧₊⁎ I can imagine he’ll touch you in public all the time. Especially during a dark setting like eating at a fancy restaurant or even at a dressing room. Jimin would be all over you.

˚✧₊⁎ Jimin would always fantasy about doing the vibrator in public. He’ll set it up for you and ask you to do it with him. What are you going to say? No?

˚✧₊⁎ “I want you, fuck.” Jimin moans in your ear while he reaches for your hand to touch his cock. While the movie plays Jimin bites your ear. “I want your touch.” Jimin whimpers quietly getting turned on by a sex scene on the screen.

˚✧₊⁎ Jimin could not count the number of times he’s came in public on his hand. A drive in movie was his favorite spot especially after midnight where it’s just a lovers paradise.

˚✧₊⁎ A classic butt plug before leaving for a special and professional event is his favorite thing ever. Many amounts of touching each other behind the scene till you dragged him into the bathroom to fuck him.

Kim Taehyung: <3

tags 🏷: bratty taehyung, punishment mentions, tying up, and orgasm denial

˚✧₊⁎ Good luck trying to submit Taehyung, he’s a wild fire. So fucking hard to tame just due to him loving to talk back. Of course that’s the type of partner Taehyung needs. A person to check him, to control him.

˚✧₊⁎ “What are you going to do? Punish me?” Taehyung snaps at you while you grip his wrist pushing him into you for a make out session. You two are just angry sex reincarnated into a couple.

˚✧₊⁎ If Taehyung got too pushy, the night would end in him getting tied up. Consensual of course, but first it happened when you mentioned it on accident. “Sometimes I just want to tie you up. You are a brat.” You complained while Taehyung pressed his wrist together. “Why don’t you?”

˚✧₊⁎ The perfect combination for Taehyung is being tied up while sexual music plays in the background while you punish him. Kill him slowly while you barely touch him, pull his hair. Show him who’s truly boss around here.

˚✧₊⁎ “I’m about to cum! Please!” Taehyung fidgets in his restraints while you took the dildo out of his ass. Taehyung cries out tears flowing while you chuckle.

Jeon Jungkook: <3

tags 🏷: messy, needy, blindfolding, insults/degrading, nipple play, and swearing.

˚✧₊⁎ Jungkook loves it messy!! Please put extra lube but not just for safety but just because he loves to wash off the mess of your cum, the lube, and the sweat. Wants to feel like a whore at the end of the night.

˚✧₊⁎ Jungkook is so needy, he hates when you leave him unattended. He’s latches to you when you come home and with that ass and that demonic sexual energy the man has. It takes no time to get hard.

˚✧₊⁎ “Come on baby, let’s go for a ride. You always wanted to blindfold me.” Jungkook smirks when he sees your eyes show interest. The night lasted so long, just because you wanted to see him cry.

˚✧₊⁎ You would degrade him because he adores it. Jungkook never wants to feel like he deserves to cum. Not in your hands, all the nasty names give it to him please!!

˚✧₊⁎ Sometimes he would be too lazy to do extra stuff, so you would just lick him up. Play with his nipples and lick them till hes cumming in your lap. Untouched was one of the hottest things you’ll ever experience.

˚✧₊⁎ “You’re such a needy bitch. I don’t think such a stupid doll deserves my cock.” You would say while you pinch his nipples Jungkook whimpering.

#bts x male reader #male reader #kpop x male reader #bts smut #bts imagine #bts mlm #kpop mlm

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aliendes · 4 years ago

Note

hii are u taking requests? if so could you maybe do a reaction of bts being their s/o’s first/taking her virginity? ty xo

Thank you to the anon who sent in this request: “hii are u taking requests? if so could you maybe do a reaction of bts being their s/o’s first/taking her virginity? ty xo” BUT I have some explaining to do. I started writing this for Seokjin and got a little (a LOT) carried away. My bias was definitely showing here. I will write the rest of the boys at a later time and compile them into a reaction, but for now, here is a one shot (lol) of you losing your virginity to Jin.

Warnings: smut, cursing, mentions of virginity and taking of virginity, fingering, oral (f receiving), protected sex (woot!), lots of love and care, minimal alcohol consumption.

Word count: 2.5k~ wooooops

You and Seokjin have been dating for a little over three months. Three months of absolute bliss if anyone were to ask you, and you hoped it was the same for Seokjin. At least from what you could tell he seemed to be just as smitten with you as you were with him. There was just one little thing that was holding you back from completely giving yourself over to him - you were a virgin. Seokjin knew this and was adamant that he didn’t mind either way, and that he had no problem with waiting until you were ready. And well, you felt ready.

That’s why when you got ready for tonight’s date, you picked out some pink lace lingerie to surprise your boyfriend with. You were currently wearing it underneath your dress and the two of you had dinner. It was nothing fancy, just a BBQ place near your apartment, but Seokjin had just finished up some tracks for their new album and you two wanted to celebrate with dinner and drinks.

Now, you were both walking back to your apartment, hand in hand, warming each other up from the chilly Seoul weather. “Jin?” You asked, feeling a bit brazened by the one drink you consumed earlier.

“Hmm?” He asked, looking down at you, smiling. He really did love you, more than he thinks you know.

“I think I’m ready,” you blushed, looking down at the sidewalk as Jin halted all movement, jerking you back slightly by your attached hands. Turning around, you blinked up at him through your lashes.

“YN, I’m not in a rush, you know that-”

You cut him off before he could finish, “I know Jin, really. I’m ready.” You smiled genuinely at him to let him know you were comfortable, and that you weren’t doing this to please him.

Without saying anything else, Jin pulled you into his chest and wrapped his strong arms around you, crashing his lips onto yours. The kiss was intense, a searing heat burning through your body. He sucked your bottom lip into his mouth for a moment before releasing it and continuing his assault on your lips. You could feel arousal building in your panties at the thought of having his mouth and tongue in other places. You flushed at the vivid picture.

The kiss was hot and heavy and left both of you panting when Jin finally pulled away for air. Staring at each other for a moment, you looked up to see you were next to your apartment building. Without warning, Jin picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, practically jogging into your apartment building and up to the second floor. “Seokjin!” You shrieked, high pitched giggles falling from your lips and he ran down your hallway. Without putting you down, Jin punched in your door code and entered your apartment, heading straight for your bedroom.

“Sorry baby, I’m just so excited,” he said, tossing you gently onto your plush mattress, “you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear those words.” You looked down to Jin’s crotch and you noticed the large, very large, tent forming in his trousers.

Another grin spread across your face and your boyfriend adjusted himself, wincing as his rigid cock brushed against his pants. You felt bad for him, wanting to help him in some way, even if you weren’t really sure what you were doing. “There’s condoms in the nightstand,” you whispered, suddenly becoming nervous for what was about to happen.

Jin smirked at you before his eyes softened, “Let me take my time with you baby. You only get to do this once, you know.”

You nodded at him as he crawled over the bed until he was on top of you, slotted between your spread legs. He never took his eyes off you and he descended towards your lips again, this time locking you in a sensual kiss. You’ve kissed him like this plenty of times, usually turning into full blown make out sessions that leave both of you wanting. But tonight, there would be a satisfying ending to your fiery kisses.

Jin’s hands traveled all over your body, starting from the tops of your arms, roaming down to your bare thighs, pushing the hem of your dress up slightly. “Is this ok?” He whispered against your lips before diving back in. You nodded against him, giving him the green light to pull your dress up. As Jin bunched your dress up around your middle, his fingers grazed the lacey material of your panties, causing him to pull away and look down, making you snap your legs shut in embarrassment. “Hey - it’s ok baby, don’t be nervous. If you’re uncomfortable let me know, and I’ll stop, ok?” His voice was saccharine sweet, making sure you were completely ok with what he was doing. You looked into his eyes and nodded your head, letting him know you understood. With soft hands on both your knees, Jin spread your legs for him, putting your soaked pink panties on display for him, “Fuck, YN,” he muttered, reaching down to palm at himself through his pants. He reached out towards you, running a finger over your clothed core, making you jump backwards at the sudden contact. Jin’s eyes snapped up to meet yours, making sure you were feeling ok. “I’m gonna take your panties off, are you ok with that baby?”

“Yes,” you whispered, excitement hiding behind your nervousness, “yes, please.”

Something dark flashed in Seokjin’s eyes before they softened again, “So sweet, baby,” he murmured before slipping his fingers under your panties and sliding them off your legs slowly, before stuffing them in his back pocket. Your eyes widened at his actions, making him chuckle darkly. He leaned down to leave a chaste kiss on your lips before he slides down your body, coming face to face with your dripping pussy. “So wet already and I haven’t even touched you,” his voice was breathy, soft, “can I kiss you, YN?” You knew he didn’t mean on your lips, and despite feeling embarrassed, you nodded your head quickly, wanting nothing more than to feel his tongue on you.

Slowly, eyes never leaving your face, Jin lowered his mouth onto your core, placing a quick kiss to your clit and then pulling away. You’ve touched yourself before, plenty of times, in fact, but having someone else, something foreign touch you there, was a new experience. Teasingly, Jin placed a few kisses on your pubic bone and then on your thighs, before delving back in and licking a long stripe up the center of your pussy. You cried out at the sensation of his wet tongue touching you in such an intimate way. Fireworks were exploding in your stomach, your eyes twisting shut as he continued his ministrations. Jin swirled the tip of his tongue through your folds and up to your clit, giving you just a little bit of stimulation. He didn’t want you to cum yet, just get you warmed up. Pulling back a bit, he looked up to see your face screwed up with pleasure and he smiled to himself, “I’m gonna use my fingers, ok? I’ll go slow.”

He was being so considerate of you, you felt like you might have fallen even deeper in love with him at his words. Or maybe it was his tongue, you weren’t sure. You nodded frantically, wanting to feel every part of him you could. As Jin brought a single digit up to your slit, he brought his lips back onto your clit, sucking lightly to distract you from the intrusion. As Jin’s long, crooked finger entered you, he brushed against your walls in such a delicious way it made you scream out again, “Jin! Oh - fuck!”

His fingers felt so different from your smaller ones and you’re relishing in the feeling of it. Slowly, he began pumping his digit in and out of you, all the while his tongue was flicking at your swollen bud. “M-more,” you whispered, shocking Jin. With his eyebrows raised, he slowly added a second finger, stretching you out further, “Ah - God it feels so good!” You could feel Jin smiling against you, loving the way you were squirming under him.

Jin let go of your clit and pulled his head up, still pumping his fingers in and out of you. “Can I feel you, YN?”

This was it. You were about to lose your virginity. And you couldn’t be happier. “Yes, yes, please Jin, I need to feel you.”

Quickly, Jin pulled his digits from your dripping pussy, making you whine at the loss, and grabbed a condom out of your side table. You watched through hooded eyes as he unbuttoned his slacks and slid them, and his boxers, down all at once. Your eyes nearly popped out of your head at the size of his cock. You watched it bob up and down a couple times before you heard Jin laugh.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll go slow, I promise.”

You knew that your first time probably wouldn’t feel amazing, but you were even more nervous now after seeing the size of it. You nodded slowly, still not totally believing your boyfriend. You watched on as Jin tore open the condom wrapper and slid the rubber over his length. The action making your mouth water in anticipation of having him inside you. He tossed the wrapper on the nightstand and leaned over you, propping himself up with one hand, the other lazily jacking himself off before lining up with your center. Jin gazed into your eyes and your breathing picked up at what was about to happen. “Are you sure, YN? We don’t have to do this. I can eat you out all night if you want me to and we can cuddle.” The sincerity in his voice made your heart sore. As tempting as the offer sounded, you really needed to feel him inside you.

“Y-yes I’m sure, Jin,” you whispered, leaning up to place a peck on his plump lips, “I trust you.”

He smiled at your words, pushing the tip of his incredibly hard dick against your opening, “Tell me if it hurts too much, and we’ll stop. Promise me you’ll tell me.” You nodded at him. “I need to hear you say it.”

“I’ll tell you if it’s too much,” you muttered, “please just put it in me.” The whine in your voice made Jin’s cock twitch, loving how obedient you were. He’d save that kink for another time.

Slowly, he pushed his tip into your slit, parting your lips. As he entered you, you felt a burning sensation as the skin stretched, “Ah, a-ah,” you whimpered, causing Jin to furrow his brow at you. He knew it would hurt a little, so he continued pushing into you slowly. He let go of his dick once the tip was snuggly inside of you and reached for your clit, wanting to give you some pleasure to distract you from the pain. As he began rubbing circle eights into your nub, he pushed inch by inch into your pussy. The feeling of him rubbing at your clit was sending shockwaves of pleasure through your bones, effectively making the intrusion of his member more bearable.

“You ok?”

You nodded before remembering his words from earlier, “Ye-yes, it hurts, but it’s not too bad.” He nodded at your words, pushing in a little further, “Please Jin,” you begged, though you weren’t sure what for.

Jin pushed his hips a little quicker, bottoming out inside you. The feeling was intense. You were the tightest thing he’s ever put his dick in, and if he wasn’t careful, he would cum right away. Trying to save himself the embarrassment, he stayed still for a moment. “God YN -,” he breathed, “I need a second. You feel so fucking good.” He leaned down and kissed you again, this time brushing his tongue against your lip. You eagerly opened up for him, allowing him to slip his tongue in your mouth and explore. You make out for a moment, both distracted by the intense pleasure happening between your legs.

Pulling back, you whisper, “Please fuck me.” Your voice is high and whiny, and it sends Jin into a spiral of desire he can’t pull himself out of. Slowly, he pulls his hips back and starts to fuck into you gently. The burn you were feeling before is slowly dissipating into searing hot pleasure. You can’t control your moans anymore, loudly groaning at the feeling of his cock entirely filling you up. You weren’t expecting to feel such immense pleasure your first time. “Faster,” you beg. Fuck, he can’t say no to that.

Jin picks up his pace, slamming his hips into yours, finger still pushing into your now pulsing clit. He could tell you were close with the way you were clenching down on him, the feeling making his hips stutter. “Relax, baby. I got you. Let go,” he whispered against your mouth before placing a sweet kiss on your forehead. Usually when you touch yourself, your orgams builds slowly before snapping, but this time it hits you all at once. It was like the earth stopped spinning momentarily and all you could feel was the static shock rolling through your body in waves. You let out a loud curse at the feeling as Jin fucks you through your high. It wasn’t until your muscles finally relax that you realize Jin has completely stilled inside you. “Fuck, baby,” he pants out, forehead coming down to rest on yours, “I couldn’t last any longer, you were clenching down on me so hard.”

You let out a long sigh, completely sated, “Thank you, Jin,” you murmur.

“For what?” He laughs.

“Making me feel comfortable and making sure I felt good. I was expecting it to hurt a lot more.”

Jin shook his head, bringing his clean hand up to cup your cheek, “I would never hurt you, YN. I love you.”

Your world stopped spinning again, only this time it was for a different reason. You two have never said those words to each other before. Though you knew you loved him, and you felt loved by him, those three words haven’t slipped into a conversation yet. Butterflies were erupting in your stomach, making you feel giddy and nervous at the same time. A grin slowly spread across your face as you met his gaze, causing him to giggle.

“I love you, too.”

#bts smut #seokjin x reader #seokjin smut #seokjin x virgin #virginity seokjin #virginity bts reaction #bts reaction #seokjin reaction #seokjin drabble #seokjin fluff #bts fluff #jin smut #jin drabble #jin fluff #jin x virgin reader #seokjin x virgin reader #cypherwritersnet

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reversecreek · 4 years ago

Text

struts onto the dash carrying this deliriously wriggling little elf in my arms like a swaddled bebe......... they’re genuinely my oldest muse of all time i think i created them when i was like. 13 possibly. n i haven’t written them in Years but. i’m literally so excited to jst vibrating w muse. smiles at u all demurely..... they have risen. u can find their pinterest here n their playlist here.

* alana champion, nonbinary + they/them | you know nyla palmer, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, eight months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 6669 (i don’t know if you know) by neon indian like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole a two headed doll of a prairie girl with stitched on rabbit ears and butterfly wings, befriending shadow puppets & finding god with your eyes open underwater in a public pool you broke into thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 2nd, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her )

HISTORY:

was born in georgiaaaa georgiaaaa (phoebe bridgers voice holds my bang...) to a vry honest hard working man named george (omgggg he’s called GEORGE and he’s from GEORGIA? ahaaaaa fuckk ur jestinggg) nd a woman who did her best named pamela..... george worked on a construction site n pamela was a pharmacist..... their house was this small rickety white thing with a wrap around porch n a very rabid overgrown garden tht kind of looked like the earth ws trying to reclaim it bc nobody ever hd the time or motivation to mow the lawn.... there ws literally a piece of fold out furniture just entirely submerged by weeds n foliage

nyla ws always closest w their dad george..... he hd this way of looking at the world tht was seeing the best in all of it.... he took them on long walks where he talked abt how u have to respect the trees bc they’re breathing fr us n we’re breathing fr them..... he hd a strange whimsical sense of humour n a gnome alter ego called grundlebolt who always tickled them..... in a way this closeness created a distance between nyla n their mother but not so much that it ws rly a problem. just enough tht nyla sometimes waited until their mother ws out of eye n ear shot to tell their dad they loved him bc they didn’t wna make her sad >_>

(mental health, death & grief tw) pamela always struggled w her mental health but george ws great n understanding n knew how to help her thru this... nyla didn’t get it too greatly at a very young age bt they knew their mum got “the sads” sometimes (how their dad wld explain tht she needed to lay down in the quiet for a while or why she’d stood at the stove n let the dinner burn until the smoke detector went off without doing anything abt it). when nyla was 14 they got home one day to a police car in the driveway n came prancing in exuberantly as they always did. immediately hugged the legs of an officer bc this is hw they wld greet everyone they ever met. they only realised something was wrong when they let go n saw their mum sat at the table crying. essentially there ws an accident at the construction site george worked at n :/ yeah.

(jst mental health & grief tw now) this rly had an intense ripple effect on everyone tbh. pamela’s mental health deteriorated quite a lot without george there as her rock n nyla sort of had to step in as best they cld but it was....... hard. some days she ws better bt some days nyla had to sit her in the bath n stroke a wet sponge over her back bc they didn’t know how else to calm her down. nyla always had a very overactive imagination which george encouraged bt it ws like. losing him rly opened a window in nyla’s head n all rationality went floating out of it. their dreams seemed more real than being awake. fantasy wasn’t jst the way they coped bt it was the way they thought n the way they saw. everything on earth was alive. the trees n the clouds n the wall with a brick missing at the bottom of her road n especially their dad. their dad was alive in everything in nyla’s head. the sun shining extra bright in the morning was george. ponds were a veil they could dunk her head under and find george waiting on the other side. reality rly just pulled the plug n said bye tbh n they were ok w that <3

(abuse implied tw) their mum remarried too fast to a man named stephen n it was jst not a good arrangement. he was Not a nice man. i won’t go into this but home wasn’t a nice place for nyla any more n after a couple of yrs stephen wound up asking them to leave n their mum said nothing to contradict tht. there’s more to this bt long story short nyla left <3

(drugs tw) they couch surfed fr a while before settling living w their best friend. they got up to like... all sorts of trouble n grew up far too fast. nyla’s lack of sense n realism hd a habit of getting them into some sticky situations n these few yrs were a rollercoaster where they got by on the skin of their teeth. when they think of high skl they think of gravel and skinned knees and sucking sherbet dunkers to ignore the taste of pennies in ur mouth and getting lost in the woods a lot bc they’d take FAR too many drugs n be lead astray having conversations with kind trees whose branches held their hands

(drug mention) got by on odd jobs like making candles n selling them at market stalls. leaf blowing at cemeteries. face painting fr children’s parties (where they were blatantly high). random stuff. all over the place. in this time them n their best friend also hd a sugar daddy named tony who always wore very impressive colour block suits n mink stoles n jewelled fedoras n hd a swanky apartment w marble floors. rly just. surreal. lots of strange stories frm this time.

things kind of blew up in their friendship group n they fell out w their best friend raya bc she slept w this guy aj who nyla hd been madly in love w for yrs.... he was a Stinker n honestly so ws their best friend so good riddance i say bt obviously it felt like having their entire world flipped upside dwn fr nyla.... they split after this came out bc they just did Not want to b around these ppl any more n they decided to leave w this guy frm a band they barely knew tht much save fr a one night stand to tour w them..... this ws another whirlwind. jst chock full of them. it ws similar to being on a teacup ride at a carnival n spinning round n round n only knowing u were surrounded by lots of lights. tht’s how they’d best describe their time on tour.

SO in terms of them coming to irving 8 months ago they came w the band.... they honestly did pretty well on tour n wound up renting a big beach house on dorado as a kind of “retreat” sort of place fr them to shack up in while they worked on writing and recording their first big studio album (they gt signed w a label so it’s all vry exciting stuff). nyla among like 3 others were allowed to stay w them too bc they hd a lot of fun on tour. literally jst. taken on as professional groupies essentially. nyla loved it bc they’d never seen the ocean n when they first got there they jst threw off all their clothes n ran straight into the water. it was 3pm on a tuesday afternoon. they got arrested fr public indecency n didn’t get why bc they were like but i just wanted to hug the ocean u silly little oinker? i picture the beach house as like. the loudest one on dorado.... comes alive like a jungle at night..... they r probably bad neighbours. anyway. onto personality puts hand on hip.

PERSONALITY:

sets out patio furniture on someone else’s lawn n jst takes a seat n leans back like ahhhhh vat a nice day to be alive ya! (swedish accent suddenly bc they think it’s fun). they come out n start yelling n they’re jst so confused they’re like hey wat’s the big idea hey wat’s go on here why u angies why this happen?

likes drawing imaginary veins over their arms in all different colour blue pens in a sudden fit of hyperfixation n then forgets all abt it n goes out like tht n scares several townsfolk bt they’re oblivious they’re jst in her own world loving life already onto the next fixation. has many many different fads like this. one day will jst start snipping up a bunch of magazines bc they’re like EYES ARE COOL N THEY SEE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P n they’ll stick a bunch of them over their wall n then forget they was doing that n leap onto the next. quite a pattern. bt they love the vein thing a lot it makes them feel like a walking planetarium like they have their own constellations

sometimes jst doesn’t make sense. they’re honestly kind of strange. pops up in places like they suddenly materialised there n it’s like how did u get there where have u been when were u last seen are u ok. has the energy of an ancient deity frm deep in a mountain cave n an ambiguous forest sprite all at once..... talks shit honestly. abt anything n everything. sometimes outrageous. sometimes plain incoherent. like what are u talking about? i dnt kno. even i dnt kno sometimes.

luvs stick n pokes will let anyone tattoo whatever they want on them for the price of a gummy bear kindly placed onto their tongue n swallowed whole

has this obsession w being underwater w their eyes open luvs it. calls it their tadpole time. runs baths just to lie there blinking looking around n drifting her arms. best friends w the bottom of any local swimming pool n hs probably given it a quick kiss so it knows they’re bff’s n then got sick bc there’s sm germs in a public pool. says the kgb probably poisoned their oatmeal n r finally here to deliver on their promise n THAT’S why they got sick unrelated to the pool incident. what promise? noone knows.

unclear if they believe what they say or if they jst has a very expanded sense of humour where they nvr let on if they’re joking.... lines r blurred a lot.....

loves excitedly shouting things. sometimes just screams at the sky bc they say it’s good to let the creatures in ur belly fly out every once in a while otherwise their wings get sore.

(drugs tw) still does an excessive amt of hallucinogens n it kind of shows. very bad fr their brain bt we’re going to ignore it.

dresses fun n strange n eccentric n careless. loves to experiment. does nt care abt what’s considered to be societally appropriate. living in their own world.

sleeps around a lot... jst doesn’t rly see sex as a big deal.... very free w themselves in that way..... sometimes greets their friends w a kiss on the lips they’re like awww :) kisses <3 when they run into them in the middle of the cereal aisle n then pulls away n suddenly breaks into a box tht has a free toy in it bc it’s a banana with googly eyes n that’s the best thing they’ve ever heard in their LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n isn’t he so HANDSOME????? enchante indeed my good sir ;)... gives the toy a kiss too.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

other groupies of the band: self explanatory a little.... i dnt have a name for the band yet bt all can b worked out..... i picture them as kind of. not that nice but like. there for a good time........ rock genre.... bit chaotic...... to say the least........ they dnt have to have come there w the band like nyla n the others they cld have been adopted in their time there.... whoever wld b wild n down fr a good time <3

chaotic trash goblin friends: idk what this title rly means it just came to me in a vision....... jst ppl tht r rly kind of off the rails n don’t care abt anything...... they r who nyla tends to mesh very well w......... they rly r living in their own world n by their own rules n they like ppl who do this too <3 inevitably they get up to no good n party far too much...... cld be angst to this if they enable each other’s bad habits...... world’s our oyster. opens my office door. let’s talk abt it.

nyla set up camp on their front lawn: maybe jst w a fold out chair. maybe w a literal pop up tent w someone else too. genuinely so bizarre of them bt that’s what we’re dealing with. they poke their head into the tent n nyla’s lying down crunching on a cracker crumbs over their tits n they just hold it out to them nt even fully consumed n are like hey polly want a cracker? :)

they responded to her craigslist ad: they posted one saying they cld cleanse their house of demonic energy bc they’re an all seeing eye in touch w the spirits. this is a lie. they came n waved sage around n did a little dance as they did it w bird sounds playing on a special cd they brought fr the occasion (had weird indistinct doodles over the case it ws brought in) n then ws like OOH! scary.... n jumped at something in the hall. they go in thinking maybe they’ve seen a ghost bt they just were startled by their own reflection in a mirror n is like. scary mirror placement...... might wna reconsider that........ they charge them merely 10 dollars fr their time n is like this was so fun we shd do it again some time :) also i think u have mould on ur bathroom tile! vanishes. they dnt recall them ever going to the bathroom.

came knocking asking for items for a garage sale: yes. u heard that right. they’re asking for ur muses things to set up their own garage sale. selling items that do not belong to them. they think this is a genius business strategy n don’t understand why ppl think this is so strange or why they cant just ask ppl to donate them things to sell bc hey they’re an entrepreneur? they even had a pencil behind their ear when they knocked on the door so why aren’t ppl taking their business seriously? probably got distracted several times trying to explain their pitch n chattered abt random other things instead.

honestly anything... fwbs... flings... good influence... someone who cnt stand the fact they’re barely coherent.... someone they stopped on the street one day n asked for their opinion on water beds.... we cn do literally anything. fling ur chara my way n we can talk.

#irvingintro #mental health tw #death tw #grief tw #drugs tw #abuse tw

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neo-shitty · 3 years ago

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toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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xihaveaplanxx · 4 years ago

Text

Happy Birthday Jenny ^_^ (Short Story)

As promised, your birthday gift, well part of it, a story! I hope you enjoy it and enjoy your day too <3

“Jenny, Happy Birthday!” Erandur walked into my room at midnight on the dot. I was often so lonely moving from my family but he always made me feel just as loved as his own family. I wiped the sleep out of my eyes and sat up on my bed to be presented with a huge box. “You don’t need to open it now, but I think you’ll like it. Teldryn picked it up yesterday!”

“You guys didn’t have to get me anything.”

“You have been a good friend to my daughter for years and you are practically family. I’d be remiss to not have gotten you something. Today is your special day. Whatever you want, you got...so long as it’s legal but you aren’t like other people Dreama seems to hang out with. Especially that .... man.”

“Dutch?”

“Don’t even say his name. I fear she likes him and the very idea makes my skin crawl. She did always like wayward men. You remember Anders.”

“We all remember Anders. If he didn’t get locked up they’d still be together”

“I know.” Erandur sighed “But enough about that. Today is your day. I’ll let you get back to sleep. Got a surprise planned”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, but you didn’t hear it from me.”

In the morning

“Happy Birthday, Jenny!” I was greeted by Dreama running up to me holding a giant Chimmy plush with a bow on it. I could tell Teldryn probably tied it on him because she wasn’t the best at tying things around things. “I hope you like this!”

“I love it” I smiled as she placed it in my arms and then hugged her. I was meaning to thank Erandur too. He got me a few BTS albums, and some cards. He wrote me a sweet letter too. He truly was like a backup parent and I adored him for it. He had gone to work though and so did Teldryn leaving me with Dreama and giant Chimmy of course “Thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome! We are planning something. Well, I’ll tell you we are going to Burger King! I got Bull to uh....maybe threaten Cullen ot let us hold it there”

“Dreama! You didn’t need to have him threatened so we can hold a party there!”

“He deserved it.” She crossed her arms. “Besides, it's your special day. We are going to keep it special which reminds me, wash up, we are meeting Dorian at the mall”

“For what?”

“Well today is your birthday, you have to show up as the princess you are! I’m even going to let you wear one of my tiaras”

“I feel honored because I know how you are.”

“I know but you can wear one since it is your day and you are my best friend. I can part with...one for one day.”

“Well thank you, I feel special”

“As you should! Now, go get ready. We have to meet him in an hour!”

“Right! I’m so excited”

“Good, you should be. You deserve to have a great day!”

At the mall

“Happy Birthday, dear!” Dorian walked up to me, handing me a Gucci box. I opened it and saw a pair of big Gucci sunglasses, just like the ones Dorian was often wearing or had sitting on his head or hanging off his shirt. “Nothing is too good for one of my closest friends. Go on, try them on!” He encouraged me and I put them on. I felt they took up most of my face but the cheers from both he and Dreama made me feel like maybe I didn’t look as odd as I felt wearing them. “Oh now don’t you look cute!”

“Well thank you!”

“You are so precious. Time's a wastin. We need to get you a new outfit and all for your party. Dreama don’t get distracted. Flirting with JAvier will make your dusty boyfriend upset.”

“Dutch isn’t my boyfriend!”

“Yes he is. Or something like that. Maybe he’s more of a hit and run.”

“He's nothing. He’s annoying.”

“Yes, and I know how you are when people annoy you. Cullen annoyed you so bad you dated him for a whole year. You think we forgot, we didn’t.”

“Shut up Dorian!”

“Fine, I won’t bother you, not on Jenny’s birthday but tomorrow, it’s free game.”

“Fine.” She rolled her eyes. “Let’s start at Hot Topic.”

“That’s where you want to go. What about where Jenny wants to go?”

“No, Hot Topic is good with me.” I told him. “Let’s go there”

“Perfect!” Dreama clasped her hands excitedly. “Then we can go eat a little bit then go home and get prepared for later.”

“Yes and maybe you’ll wear an outfit that covers your boobs. You don’t want your not boyfriend to be in some sort of stupid frenzy when he sees you.”

“Dorian, I.....”

“You don’t need to explain it to us. We know how you are.” Dorian shook his head. “But I do know one thing, we will be the best looking people in that Burger King. No one will be ready for us.”

“Damn straight.”

“You better be careful or Bull might knock you over and want to bang you on the counter.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time”

“WHAT?”

“Nothing.” Dorian turned red and now I had questions. A lot of questions. “Let’s just go shop and forget I said anything.”

“I don’t think we can just forget that, Dorian.” I told him. “But....for today...we will but later....”

“I know I know...i’ll explain then... I promise.”

At Hosea’s house/Arthur’s pov

Whoever said money can’t solve your problems.

Must not have had enough money to solve em.

They say which one, I say nah I want all them.

Happiness is the same price as red bottoms.

I very much liked Dreama, but I just couldn’t find it in me to forgive her for introducing John to Ariana Grande’s music. All he did was dramatically sing along and pine over Farkas, this boy that lived a town over that he had a thing for ... sometimes. I don’t know. Shit was too complicated for me and frankly I didn’t care. John was as dramatic as Dreama so I understood why they liked to hang out and what not but still. All that drama, that just ain’t for me. John was always little to the left, but now more so. And he wasn’t the most intense person in that house, that honor went to Dutch. He was always in some kind of thing. Hosea honestly kept us all together. He had been getting better after getting treatment and honestly I was glad because the idea of him not being here, I knew John and I would be fine but Dutch, he’d go off the rails and he was barely on the rails as is. Then him and Dreama were another issue entirely. I didn’t know what the hell they thought they were but it wasn’t normal and they were both grown as adults which made it more concerning. I think she drove him crazy and he just pissed her off and yet they liked to be near each other a lot. Once again, shit like that don’t make no sense to me. Love don’t make much sense to me especially seeing all the examples I got around me, I’m doing just fine in my own lane.

“Farkas viewed my story on snapchat!” John came over to me to show me his phone. I didn’t know what the hell that even meant. I saw the little icon and John jumping up excited in front of me. Frankly I wanted to throw myself down the steps but that would be bad. I’d miss Jenny’s party if I did that but I think she’d understand my pain dealing with John like this....all the time....most our lives. “Maybe he’ll call me.”

“Aren’t you the one that made things...weird?”

“No. He did. It wasn’t my fault. I....he’s so stupid.”

“Then why do you like him?”

“I don’t! I just .... you don’t get it Arthur.”

“You’re right, I don’t nor do I want to.” I sighed. “You getting ready for the party later?”

“Yeah, I was about to. I got her this cute shirt. I think she’ll like it! What did you get her?”

“A keychain. I know she collects those. Got her one of that BTS group guys, got them on it. I think she’ll like it.”

“That’s so nice!”

“Hosea is baking the cake to bring there. He’s so excited. Dutch is bringing his thoughts and prayers I guess. Didn’t see him pick up anything.”

“He’s probably not going for her...just to see Dreama.” John said honestly and he was probably not wrong. If Dutch was coming with us, he was probably going just to see Dreama and be pure chaos. “I don’t even know why he bothers her. She’s so on and off about him, mostly off.”

“I could say the same about you over Farkas.”

“That’s different! Farkas is a stupid guy. Dutch is a stupid man. It’s different.”

“Marston I.....nevermind.” I didn’t even have time to comment on this. John was so dumb....not even sometimes...all the fucking time. This was the tip of the stupidity iceberg with him. “I guess I’ll just finish getting ready.”

“So will I. I want to get there early and get a crown.”

“Course you do.”

“Oh come on, you know you want one.”

“I don’t.” I crossed my arms. “I’m going to finish getting ready. Also can you keep your bad music down. I don’t want to hear all that mess when I’m trying to be in my thoughts.”

“You need to have fun, Arthur. You never wanna have fun.”

“ I do have fun, y’all just don’t see me have it and that’s fine. I don’t need y’all in my business.”

“Party pooper.”

“You can think how you want.”

In the living room/Hosea’s pov

“This is Jenny’s birthday. Don’t you dare act up. I am upset I need to tell you this. You are 41 years old , Dutch. Acting stupid because of her friend is not what w need. You know better than that. You know a lot better than that. I know you can be dumb when you get in your feelings but this is Jenny’s birthday. This is her day so you keep your feelings to yourself. You didn’t even get Jenny a damn present . Just showing up empty handed after she got you a hat for your birthday and you got nothing for her. I’d chastise you more but I know how you think. You just want to see Dreama and for what? That girl don’t like you. At least I don’t think she does. Let it go. She don’t like you .”

“Oh Hosea. You don’t understand. She’s a tricky one. She can say she don’t like me but I know she does. I’m going to bring her something.”

“So you are bringing her a present on her friend's birthday..wow.”

“No. I got Jenny something too. I asked Arthur about things she likes and I got her a little wallet with them little characters on it she likes. I even wrapped it. She’ll like it. As for Dreama...I got something really special for her.”

“I swear to God if it involves you guys naked in a Burger King bathroom, I’m going to ask you stay home.”

“No! Not that. That’s disgusting Hosea. I just want her to admit she likes me. I’ll make her do it.”

“You can’t make her do anything.”

“That’s what you think.”

“Don’t ruin Jenny’s party please. I swear...”

“I’m not. Gee Hosea, you always act like I’m the problem.”

“You are. Usually. I love you like family, you know that so dearly but sometimes, your idea, your thoughts are off the rails. I just want you to for once, FOR ONCE to have all your ducks in a row.”

“They are in a row. I just.....they’d be more in a row if she stopped playing these games.”

“Or if you both just ignored each other.”

“That’s an option but you know that won’t happen.”

“I know, I just accept it now.”

That night at Burger King/Jenny’s pov

“SURPRISE!” The smile on my face when we walked in and I was faced with all of our friends and Hosea holding the cake. I can tell he worked hard on it. I saw all these presents along the counter and food on all the tables. They really did plan this out. It was so thoughtful. Everyone was even wearing a crown. John had two because of course he did, he had to feel extra special always. “Happy Birthday, Jenny!” They all said in unison as Hosea placed the cake on the table. I truly did feel loved. In my new outfit. Dreama and Dorian helped me pick it. A cute red top and comfy black pants and one of Dreama’s tiaras with the Gucci shades, he more than insisted I wear them. Everyone seemed so excited, hugging me and what not.

“Jenny, you might want to grab food. Your large friend has been eying those nuggets. Might not be any left in a second.” Hosea said pointing at Bull who already had a plate full of nuggets. “I hope you like the cake! Arthur helped me with it!”

“It was nothing. Really.” Arthur said. “Anything to help with your special day.”

“Thank you.” I smiled at them both. “This is all very lovely.”

“You look adorable. The sunglasses. Mr. Pavus idea wasn’t it?”

“Yes, yes it was.” I nodded my head. “They aren’t too bad.”

“Probably cost as much as a house but he does like the expensive things.” Hosea shook his head. “Javier is setting up the music. This is going to be a fun time. Glad we were invited. Even more glad Dreama somewhat kept it a secret....kind of I guess.”

“She didn’t say all of you were going to be here but yeah she kind....kind of told me.”

“Course she did.” Hosea shook his head. “No matter. Have a great birthday!”

“Thank you. With all of you here, I think that I will.”

Outside of the Burger King/Dutch’s pov

“You know you are really annoying. Like so much. You are what 40 and fucking stupid. I can not stand you. Ever. I don’t even see why we invited you. You aren’t even Jenny’s friend. You are Hosea’s stupid friend with the stupid face who does stupid things and has stupid plans and is a shitty maanger at the shitty Walmart!”

“Gee, tell me how you really feel.”

“Oh you don’t want that! You’ll probably cry.”

“No I won’t. Not over you. If you think you’d make me cry, you must think you are something so special.” I shook my head. “You know I could have any woman I want.”

“Then go to them”

“I said I could have any woman I want. I don’t want them though. I want you.”

“No.”

“I do. Believe it or not, I like you. Even though you are mean to me. Violent, rude but you are also brilliant, smart, intriguing. You remind me of me.”

“That’s an insult.”

“And you only hate it because it’s true.” I reached in my pocket “John told me you like these weird things. It’s a keychain. Hello Kitty I think he said it was. I don’t know but I thought you’d like it and you can keep it if you give me a chance.”

“How about I take the keychain and you fuck off.”

“Now you and I both know that you don’t want that. If I fuck off then who will you chase around the Walmart. You know we can’t have non-employees in the back and yet...”

“Dutch....”

“I dont think your friends want to know what happened there a few weeks ago. Oh, they’d really know how much you hate me, especially that day.”

“Don’t....”

“Oh no, not you climbing on me, the lowly Walmart manager in the back room. You surely showed me how much you dislike me. I felt that....clearly.”

“I hate you”

“I bet you do.” I laughed at her and she reached in my hand and snatched the keychain. She broke the keychain part so I guess she was going to sit it on her desk or something. She glared up at me and she was angry, oh so much but also, I know she was considering my offer. I wouldn’t really tell everyone what happened.....unless she pushed me to it. Part of me felt she wanted people to know in some sick way. Like me, we had pride in the things....in the people we did. Why keep it such a secret ? But also like me she was complicated. It’s why she pissed me off as much as I liked her. “You broke it.”

“I don’t need it as a keychain.” She told me simply. “And I do not need you as a boyfriend.”

“Then what are we?”

“Nothing. You got lucky.”

“Lucky?” I arched my eyebrow. “So I’m what a rebound because of the crazy guy you were with? You know he’s not getting out of jail any time soon”

“Don’t talk to me about Anders. Your friend is in jail. That dusty ugly blonde dude.”

“I didn’t fuck Micah, you fucked Anders and you fucked me!”

“DUTCH!” She looked at me like her entire soul escaped her body. I doubt anyone heard us but even if they did, would anyone in there have been surprised. “Please, do not!”

“But you did! Not even just physically, but mentally too. You just like broken guys. Anders was broken and you want me broken too. Maybe it’s why you are like this to me? Because I refuse to let you do that to me. I won’t worship you like him and it pisses you off.”

“Fuck you, Dutch.”

“I already have and if you keep this up I’ll do it out here and it would be a real shame for everyone in there to come out and see you bent over a Burger King dumpster! And by someone you hate oh so much! THat would be awful.”

“I hate you.” She tossed the little figure from the keychain at me and stomped into the Burger King. Maybe I did really piss her off ? Maybe but I doubt it. I could tell she wasn’t 100 percent mad because she waited for me to come in after her, even holding the door for me. Was it bold to reach down and hold her hand, maybe but she didn’t pull away like I thought either. She just let me hold her hand. “Maybe I don’t hate you....as much.” She told me as we were walking towards the food. “Or...maybe not at all.”

“It’s not much of a secret.” I told her, giving her the little Hello Kitty that was in my other hand. “Maybe we can be something.”

“Yeah...maybe.”

Over at the table/Jenny’s pov

I had just blown out my candles and was surprised to see Dreama and Dutch walk in, calmly. They were usually at odds but this time, they were holding hands. I heard Dorian comment about how he knew this would happen. He was never truly wrong about these things. The cake was being served and honestly, Hosea really did outdo himself. It was delicious. Bull was eating Dorian’s slice. Dorian barely even got to get any on his fork before Bull decided, his slice also belonged to him. Dorian’s face as he was eating it was priceless. John was being relatively calm, talking to Farkas. I wish Vilkas would have come but since he and Dreama broke up he had kept his distance. Especially since he felt it was Dutch’s fault they broke up and the very idea of seeing him made him want to torch the entire town. He did send Farkas with a card for me which was very sweet. Farkas seemed quite confused most the party mostly because John confused him. John was a lot like Dreama and was just not good at expressing how he felt. When he and Dreama hung out it was always some kind of mess and often ended with them running from the police. They were the definition of sharing a brain cell.

“Jenny, I got you this. I didn’t get to wrap it but...” Sean walked up to me holding a giant plush cat. “I got him at the arcade! I won it for you actually!”

“Aw, thank you” I smiled as I held it. “That was very sweet”

“I can be sometimes.” He told me. “This beena good party and I didn’t even drink!”

“You don’t need to be drinking Sean.” I told him remembering at Dreama’s party he got wasted and was screaming in the bar about fucking someone with a glass lamp. It was quite intense. “Being sober isn’t the worst thing.”

“Aye, I suppose but it was fun the last time....given I don’t remember”

“The rest of us do though.”

“Did I really threaten to fuck someone with a glass lamp? That’s what Lenny said I did.”

“Yes you did. It was...alarming.”

“Well..I didn’t actually do it did I?”

“No, because there were no lamps around and also you passed out a bit after”

“Well then there was no cause for alarm” Sean chuckled and I shook my head. He soon disappeared within the party and Dreama came up to me and jumped in my arms as she was prone to doing.

“I hope you enjoy your party!” Dreama told me, clinging to me.

“I really am. Thank you.” I smiled as I set her down. “Thank you for everything. You guys didn’t need to go through all this.”

“Oh it was nothing at all. We wanted to do this for you. I mean you’ve helped all of us in a lot of ways so we wanted to show you how much you mean to us.”

“Well I do feel very loved so thank you.”

“Thank you for being there for all of us.” She hugged me once more. “We love you, never forget that.”

“I won’t. Thank you for everything. I really truly appreciate it.”

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woozi · 3 years ago

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i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

#lov u u genuinely make my days better!! <#*<3 #also the way u called me by name... passing out rn </3 #🪂 anon #anon #y.ask #long post

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bangwoolofbangtan · 4 years ago

Text

MAX Talks "Colour Vision", "Blueberry Eyes", And Texting With BTS's Suga

Let's start at the beginning — I'm really interested in your first track, “Colour Vision”, both in terms of the title and the tone. It sets the scene for the whole album, and I’m curious whether the song or the title came first, and how important it was for you to have that be the introduction to the album.

MAX: Funny enough, the title came first, and I knew I had to write a song. I wanted to make that intro experience. I wanted it to be the first song of the show, and make sure that you felt you were being immersed in the world we wanted to create. Usually, you go into a writing session, and you don’t know what you’re going to write. You’re like, “What’s happened to you? What’s going on?” and you just dive in. But having the parameters of knowing what exactly we wanted to fill that box with was pretty amazing.

Basically, the rest of the album was done. So writing the intro was kind of amazing, because how do you want this to be introduced? I really wanted that lyric to showcase the reawakening and the rebirth, and finding that control in your life again. You have the control of your own destiny, even if people make you feel like you don’t, and that’s what I wanted that song to make you feel like. Your dreams can become a reality. You just have to dive outside of them and create that colour vision.

I always like to listen to an album from first song to last song. How important is that to you, and how do you decide which track goes where? Can it be listened to on shuffle, or do you want people to listen to it in order?

MAX: If people do listen to it on shuffle, that’s totally cool. Every song stands on its own. But I did make it a very poignant point to have each story kind of roll into the next. It was important to have “Colour Vision” roll into “Working for the Weekend”, because the whole record is about that you have to love what you’re doing, or else you’re going to want to jump off a cliff. When you’re not doing what you love to do, every second feels like an hour, and I had that before I really committed to doing music, things I was just doing for the money, or because I felt like everybody wanted me to do it.

I really wanted it to sonically feel right, but then storyline-wise also to have an arc — to start with a lot of energy, but then go to a lower place of getting in your feels, and then coming back to more of a visceral and loving place, ending with “There’s a God” and this climax of emotion at the end. So, yeah, in short — every song, I was very clear on wanting them to flow into each other. That was important to me.

You have a lot of collaborators on this album. It’s been a long time since your last project, so was that a conscious decision, or was it just a natural occurrence after meeting these people over the last four years?

MAX: The latter, for sure. I just get obsessed with people and I’m like, “We’ve got to make something together!” It always comes out of that mutual respect and excitement. I’m an only child, and I’m a solo artist, so you just want to involve other people in your world to feel connected with it. That’s probably why I collaborate so much. You find something in the person you’re collaborating with within yourself that you never would have found without really connecting and diving in with them. There’s a spark of magic in every collaboration, and you find you made a song that you never would have done if you were alone in your room.

What kind of lessons did you learn from your collaborators on this one?

MAX: Oh, so much. For example, with bbno$, his process writing-wise is so different from mine. I’m so meticulous and I spend so many hours on each line, whereas there’s such a freedom in his writing. Even for his verse, we spent four hours on a Saturday while I was on a road trip going back and forth about which lines to keep, and I think that freedom definitely teaches me, maybe I’ve got to sometimes be a little more experimental.

Of course, with Suga… Having language not be a hindrance, because you’re coming from the same emotive place. Going to Korea — that whole trip changed my life. It made me realise which songs people connect with, not necessarily because of the specific lyrics, but because of what’s behind it. That transcends language. That collaboration taught me so much, and that was so special.

You previously collaborated with Suga on “Burn It”. You said you were supposed to be releasing the albums on the same day, so were you working on that and “Blueberry Eyes” at the same time? They’re so different from each other — what was that like?

MAX: We were! It was cool. I think it worked out, because his stuff for “Burn It” was pretty much done, and it was mostly me going back and forth, nailing what he wanted. It actually started in a way lower key, so he had to re-cut his parts based on what key he wanted my voice to be in for that song.

It was kind of great that we were both working on each other’s projects at the same time, because there was such a camaraderie of, you know, “Thank you for doing this for me, and I’m so happy I’m doing this for you.” It was just such a delightful process. I’ve never really done especially multi-country collaborations, not being in person, but it was so seamless. We were very specific about what each of us wanted, which really helped us be creatively free but also be understanding of how to keep the message of a full project cohesive with each other’s collaborations.

So do you have the idea for the song first, and then discuss those ideas before writing lyrics? I’m very curious about the process of a Korean artist writing Korean lyrics for a majority-English song.

MAX: I just sent him the whole album. I basically said, “Here’s all the songs, you tell me what you want to be on, and I’ll make it work. I’m grateful to have you on any song.” And he liked “Blueberry Eyes”. I’d already written the song, so I think that probably helped the message, because it was very clear that there was a sweet, loving, dream world to it.

Actually, funny enough, I asked if he’d jump on “New Life”. I just thought that that would be the one, and he said, “You know, it’s not my style. I like the song a lot, but I just don’t know that I would fit on it.” So that’s when I sent him the whole album. I was just like, “You choose what song. You do your thing. I don’t care.”

I was actually surprised. I just didn’t think he would choose ["Blueberry Eyes"], but I can’t hear it without him now, especially because I’ve learned all the Korean with Emily for the video. It was cool, because the first thing you hear on “Blueberry Eyes” is the first thing he sent me. I didn’t give him any notes. I was just like, this is it. It was so cool to have another language and see the translation and be like, this is so romantic and beautiful and something different than I hear from him in most of his music. It was a new moment, and it was really special to have him do that on this song.

“Burn It”, similarly — sometimes I do features that are very dark, but that was way darker of a world than I usually do. So it was cool that we were both out of our comfort zones and our creative boxes.

Obviously, collaborating with a member of BTS comes hand in hand with a large and dedicated family. What has the response from ARMY been like since “Burn It” and now with “Blueberry Eyes”?

MAX: ARMY’s been amazing. I think at first — and I am ARMY, so I know [laughs] — there is this distrust in anybody who gives love to [BTS], because you don’t know what their reasons are. Oftentimes, people come out of the woodwork and they put a tweet out just because they think it’ll blow up because they mention them, and It’s less about the appreciation of them or the music or the diligence or the focus.

I mean, I always had so much love and respect for the group. I think people knew what’s up, and it was pretty clear that it had been a few years in the making, this collaboration. But once I met Suga, it went so deeper realm for me. They had just shot a music video for the last few days, but he wanted to see this basketball game. He was so kind, and so warm, but he was taking a nap in between plays because they work so hard. I think that element isn’t seen by so many people who just want it for clout. When you don’t really understand the human element, and you just see people as numbers or artists that aren’t human... It’s that human element that makes people want to protect them. And they should, because so many people are in it for the wrong reasons.

That’s what I was hit with at first — when I put the song out, I got some people who totally got that it was authentic and that I had so much love, and there were people who were a little sceptical. But for the most part, I really was blown away by how positive the whole fanbase welcomed me. It’s been amazing. They hate that I teased so much, but I do that with every song. [laughs] I’m so bad at keeping secrets, so I always feel like I have to share just a little bit.

You mentioned the "Blueberry Eyes" music video earlier, and you've been teasing it on Twitter and Instagram for a couple of weeks now. What can you tell me about it?

MAX: The video is basically like Disney meets Wes Anderson. It’s all in one quarantined house that you see in the “Love Me Less” video, and it’s “Blueberry Eyes”, so we’ve got all these blueberries. We used the blueberries afterward! Everyone thinks we were wasting food, but we made “Blueberry Eyes” shirts with the tie-dye from the blueberries. We had, like, thousands of blueberries and we were bathing in them, so we didn’t want to eat them, but we had to do something with them.

We learned the entire Korean [verse], and those were our vows in our quarantine wedding. Of course, we threw a little cat in there to make it feel like Yoongi was part of it, because unfortunately he couldn’t be in the video — we wanted every bit of his spirit to be there, even though he wasn’t there — but now I know a bit of Korean, which is awesome. I’m going to keep diving in. I literally texted him right after saying, “I just learned your whole verse in Korean, now I hope we can have more conversations in Korean, because it was so hard to learn.”

And it's just you texting lyrics that he wrote. [laughs]

MAX: Our conversations are so short and cute, it’s always like, “Go Max! Go 'Blueberry Eyes'!” and then I’m like, “Go 'Dynamite'! Go Yoongi!” It’s just right to the point.

As for the rest of the album — do you have a personal favourite song on the tracklist?

MAX: I’d say it’s between the intro, “Colour Vision”, and the last song, “There Is A God”. There’s a certain moment where you write a song as an artist, and you know that it’ll stick with you in a different way. With “There Is A God”, it was right before Emily got pregnant, and it was this moment of knowing that [our family] had to be my number one forever. As much as I love music, this person and our family and our love and our life, that’s what I’ll always be most grateful for, and what I’ll always have the most faith because of. When you have something so deep to lose, you have so much to believe in. So that song meant something on a grander scale than most songs usually do, and every time I listen to it, I get a little emotional.

And to wrap up — the world has been through a difficult few months. I’m wondering if the timing of this release was intentional, and what you want listeners to get from this album during hard times?

MAX: I always feel like my favourite albums or my favourite movies, they give me that little spark of magic that I’ve been waiting for. The worst times in your life, you watch that one movie, and you just feel a little more will to live and excitement, and you have a little more inspiration that there’s a real happiness out there, and you’ve felt it before, and this piece reminds you of that.

For me, people kept being like, “It’s the wrong time to release anything right now. Just keep pushing.” But I just hope people find that little spark. I hope it gives them something that is an escape, that also makes them realise maybe there are certain joys in their life that they can dive into even more. Being that vessel for anyone, in the same way that I feel about certain movies and albums, is an honour. So I hope that’s what this means to people. That’s why I want it now because, more than ever, we all need a little reality, and also we need to believe in our dreams. That’s what this album is about.

#bts #min yoongi #MAX #blueberry eyes #suga #myg #yoongi #yoongi collaboration

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dinoyoongi · 5 years ago

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Confirm or Deny (4)

SYNOPSIS: You’re a member of the rising group FRNZEE. You’ve been dating Namjoon for years when Dispatch releases an article exposing your relationship. Your company confirms the relationship. Big Hit denies it.

PARTS: ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE

PAIRING: Namjoon x Reader

GENRE: Romance, Angst

WARNINGS: Strong language

WORD COUNT: 4819

AUTHORS NOTE: Finally - so sorry about the long wait! Fall was an extremely busy season for me both work and personal wise. There will only be one or two more parts left depending on how I choose to wrap the story up but there won’t be toooooo long of a wait for it this time. Please make sure to like/comment/reblog if you enjoy the story! Thank you! ❤️ (P.S.- this is totally unedited so any mistakes are my own)

_________________________________________

“Are you sure that this a good idea?” Ji-na asks from the doorway, arms crossed over her chest as she watches you pull a sweater over your head. “Things are still bad, Y/N. They're still pulling vandalized advertisements from-”

From everywhere.

Since you've become the laughing stock of the k-pop industry, fans (ARMY mostly, you'd wager to guess) have begun making you into the clown that they obviously believe you are. All around the city, advertisements featuring your group have been vandalized wherever they're posted – soju posters in restaurants, fashion billboards in the train stations, album promotions on the side of city buses. The damage can be as little as a small mustache scribbled above your upper-lip to something as extreme as animal feces being smeared across your face.

“I'm aware, Ji-na. The company makes it a point to send me every video and photograph of every reported incident,” you tell her, unable to restrain the edge in your voice. “I just want to support you. I want to be there … I can't hide in this building for another minute.”

Ji-na's face softens. “Won't it be difficult for you, though? To watch us perform? To watch us stand on that stage without you? We already know that you support us – you don't have to make yourself uncomfortable to show it.”

You pause, your fingers stilling on the laces of your shoes. She's absolutely right – it was going to be uncomfortable. More than that, it was going to hurt insanely bad. You were aware of this, you were prepared for this. But as masochistic as it was, you needed to be there. Just to be in the building, surrounded by the frantic bustling of groups and managers and stylists … if that would make you feel normal – even for a minute – you would take the tradeoff.

“I want to go, Ji-na,” you stress, rising upright and turning to face your concerned friend. “Please just let me be there. I need to be there. I'll be okay – I promise.”

Her eyes roam the expanse of your face for what feels like minutes, searching for any kind of twitch or frown or quiver that might expose a wariness on your face. But when she finds nothing, she slumps her shoulder with a sigh of finality, giving up and nodding with an accepting smile.

“We leave in ten minutes. You know the drill – hat and face mask on. Be ready or we go without you,” she warns, a finger pointing in your direction. You're not given a chance to respond before she's turning on her heel to exit the room.

_____________________________________

Pulling into the parking garage of the KBS building, you're overcome with an overwhelming sense of nervousness. Lifting your hand from your lap, you're startled to see your own fingers trembling.

“Ugh, I need soju right now. I'm so nervous,” one of your members cries from the backseat. There's a chorus of agreement among the residents of the van. You'd like to join them because you also feel like throwing up, but you know it's not for the same reason.

This parking garage … this cold, dimly lit, nothing-but-concrete parking garage … how does it immediately trigger so many memories? Like the time that BTS invited you to the taping of their debut Music Bank performance and told the crew that you were one of their makeup artists so you could hang out in their dressing room – you remember a game of hide and seek in this garage before their performance that ended with Taehyung falling directly onto his face and bruising his chin. The real makeup artist had to apply four layers of foundation to cover the red and darkening splotch of skin. Or there was the year that FRNZEE and BTS were promoting at the same time. After having an argument with Seokjin, Namjoon had convinced you to sneak away from your group and the two of you hid out in his company's car with the tinted windows for almost an hour.

Out of everything, you definitely did not expect a fucking parking garage to conjure up thoughts of Namjoon.

It's been nearly one month since he abruptly ended your relationship. You want to say that you've been a strong, independent woman – that you took the breakup in stride and were moving on with your life.

That'd be a very laughable lie, though. You were – and still are – the definition of a hot mess.

You've sent texts – oh, god, you sent so many texts. You've left voicemails, of both the drunk and sober variety. You've sent emails asking him to return your texts and voicemails. You've even written a few letters but you're positive that instead of the mailing the parcels as requested, your manager probably shredded them.

Namjoon was yours for almost ten years. Ten fucking years. How could he just be done with you so quickly? How could he just stop all form of contact? Did these past ten years not matter? Did he fall out of love with you?

Maybe since he's Grammy nominated now, he knows he's capable and deserving of being with someone more beautiful than you, more talented than you, more successful than you.

Someone else. Not you.

A sharp pain in the palm of your hand makes you wince. You look down to see that at some point during your self-deprivation, you've gripped hard onto the charm of the necklace that Namjoon had given you. Designed for you. You let it go and exhale a breath to expunge the gross thoughts from your head. There's a massive part of your heart and your brain that's telling you how much Namjoon loved you, how much he respected you, that he would never do that to you. But the small portion of your broken heart and your fizzled brain are louder, screaming and screeching that you aren't good enough to be the leader of BTS' girlfriend. In a dark, dusty corner of your self-esteem, he always seemed to be too good for you. And now your insecurities have been unleashed on the possibility that it was absolutely true.

He's embarrassed of you. The other boys are embarrassed of you. They literally don't want to be associated with you.

What else are you supposed to think?

“Alright, girls, it's time!” your manager yells from the driver seat, his loud claps startling you. “Remember that you need to pose for some photos outside before you can go in. If you want to fix your makeup, do it now and be quick, please. Y/N, you'll be standing off to the side with me. Make sure your mask is pulled up, okay?”

Your sigh is exaggerated as you watch your members pull their compacts from their clutches, reapplying lip tint, pressing eyeshadow pigment onto their lids, fixing flyaway hairs. They're dressed casual but they look beautiful. They look like idols.

It doesn't escape you that as you're pulling your hat down and your mask up – you don't feel anything of the sort.

You follow behind your manager as the girls trail ahead, strutting out of the parking garage and into the designated photograph spot. A large crowd of people behind barriers excitedly call out member names as they get into position, prompting rehearsed giggles from the girls. You don't realize you're whimpering as they perform the group greeting until your manager pats your shoulder.

“Try not to look upset, okay? I'm sure some of them have already recognized you and they'll be scrutinizing your every move,” he whispers in your ear. You nod once to affirm that you've heard him, keeping your eyes locked on the group.

They pose silly, they laugh among themselves, they look like a complete group. They look perfect. They … they don't look like they miss you at all.

“She's here! I knew it!” a voice screeches not far from where you stand. You lift your head, craning your neck to see what member the excited fan was yelling for. There's a group of girls in school uniforms loitering the side of the building but their attention isn't on the group, instead on a large trash can that sits against the wall. Everyone in the vicinity startles when one of the girls knocks it over, scattering bits of trash and discarded items across the entire lot.

You turn to face your manager. “Isn't there KBS security here? Are they going to allow them to garbage pick right in front of the talent?”

He shrugs. “I don't know. That's not my problem though. We're gonna wrap this up and go instead in just a few-”

“Stay away from Namjoon, you delusional whore!”

You don't have time to search for the source of the threat before something is hurled into the side of your head. You cry out, nursing the sensitive patch of scalp as you glance down at the offending object. A half-eaten, dirty apple?

“We won't let you get away with it!” another voice shrieks. The voice is followed by a flying cup – a large tumbler that you might get at a coffee shop – that smacks you right in the center of your face, the remaining contents of the cup soaking your gray sweater in dark brown splotches. Your manager shoves you behind him as he begins to scream.

“Don't any of you move a muscle! You will be sued for assault – I promise!” he warns. On the other side of the lot, the cameras that had been capturing your members are now turned on you. You watch as more girls surround the fallen trash can, filling their arms with garbage to use as weapons. Nobody stops them.

“We should sue her for slander! She tried to ruin Namjoon's reputation with her lies!”

There's a brief cheer of agreement before more garbage is being pelted in your direction; a broken hair brush, empty snack containers, more half-drunk coffee cups that have soaked not only you but your poor manager. He's lost his grip on you, stepping forward to push at any of the girls who dare to come too close. Unfortunately, this leaves you wide open.

Banana peels, cigarette buts, more fucking coffee cups – doesn't this country ever finish their damn beverages? – discarded makeup, used tissues … they hit you with precision. You curl your body into the wall, a feeble attempt to protect your face. You tilt your chin up to glance at your group; the spot where they stood is clear now and when you look farther down, you see their backs as they rush into the building.

They left without you. All of them. Even Ji-na.

They left you here. To be drenched in garbage.

Your manager is still fighting off a horde of the girls, screeching into his cell phone for help. When one of them gets a good grip on your hair and yanks you to the ground, the group of photographers finally realize the seriousness of the situation and begin to chase them off. Above you, though, is two of the meanest faces you have ever seen. One has your ponytail in a dangerous clutch and the other sneers at you from behind her phone, another cup in her hand. They glance at each other briefly before the cup tips, dousing you in more questionable liquid.

You're not a weakling – you could fight back. You could kick her right off of you. You could kick that phone right out of her hand. It would be so easy for you.

But this … this is it. This is where you break. There is where you realize that you don't have anymore fight left inside of you. You don't have the heart or the willpower or the mental resolve to get back up on your feet right now.

“That's enough!” a deep voice booms. “Get your hands off of her right now!”

Before the girls can even react, they're being pulled from you. Because your hair is still wrapped around her fist, you're yanked upwards with them. You holler in pain, smacking at her hands for release. It isn't until a large man wearing a KBS security shirt forcibly grabs her hand from your hair does she let it go.

With vision blurred by tears, you watch through watery eyes as the girls are shoved into police cars. When did those get here?

“Oh my god, Y/N. Are you okay? Where are you hurt?” your manager asks frantically, his eyes roving your form for any scratches or bruises or blood. “I'm so sorry – I didn't see them sneak behind me. I thought … I thought you left with the other girls. I motioned for them to bring you … I thought ...”

Oh. It makes sense.

Even your own group is embarrassed of you.

You open your mouth to speak but your chin trembles too violently to form any words.

“Come on, we have to meet the police at the hospital. I'll call another manager to watch the girls here on the way.”

His arm wraps around your side, noticing your wobbling legs. You take only one step forward before he notices something on the ground. “Oh! Isn't this your necklace? You were wearing it earlier.”

It's broken, the chain completely snapped in half. The moon gem is scratched and scuffed from where it was probably stepped on. You don't remember feeling it break loose in the scuffle but in all fairness to yourself, you stopped feeling anything after the fifth piece of garbage hit you in the face.

“No, that's not my necklace. It's just garbage. Leave it.”

__________________________________

An hour and twenty-eight minutes is all it takes for news to spread that troublemaker FRNZEE member Y/N was assaulted by BTS fans at the taping of Music Bank. The incident even made the afternoon news. When your manager attempts to turn the hospital room's television off, you refuse, keeping your eyes locked onto the humiliating videos that are now being broadcast to the entire country.

“The doctors said to keep your stress levels down, Y/N. You've lost thirteen pounds in less than a month and you haven't even been dancing,” he pleas, sinking down onto the chair next to you. Stressed. Stressed, stressed, stressed. It's a word that's been thrown around multiple times since you've arrived but you know what it really means. You know what it's code for, what they don't want to outright tell you.

You're having a fucking breakdown.

“The company is releasing a statement today. Soon, probably within the hour,” he tells you hesitantly.

You roll your eyes. “Let me guess – I'm on an extended hiatus from all group activities to work on my mental health?”

“Pretty much word for word,” he confirms solemnly.

You scoff, feeling another rising pressure on your chest. You didn't do anything. You haven't been doing anything. You've been hiding out in your dorm like a hermit crab for over a month just as they wanted you to do and you're going to punished because a group of psychotic sasaengs attacked you?

“They're going to kick me out of the group, aren't they?” you ask, your voice small. Your manager is silent and the sound of nothing only makes your chest throb even harder. “I … I don't- I don't understand … what did I do to deserve this? I worked just as hard as anyone else. I did what they told me and laid low. Those girls are going to get a slap on the wrist and I'm going to lose my group? Is this what's going to happen?”

Your manager sighs heavily before breaking his silence. “I'm sure everything will work out for you, Y/N. Please don't worry too much about it.”

Blinking back the pooling moisture behind your eyes, you divert your attention to your phone. Although your manager's phone has been ringing and buzzing non-stop since you arrived, yours has not. The media doesn't know your personal phone number so you didn't expect any messages from them but … what about the group?

“Were the members' phones taken away in their dressing room?” you ask hesitantly. Please say yes, please say yes.

Your manager shakes his head. “No, not that I know of.

“Oh,” you exhale. Sensing the dark shift in your breath, Manager glances at the screen of your phone on your lap. When he sees the text display “No new notifications,” he immediately realizes his error.

“Do you know what? My texts have been kind of delayed. Maybe we just don't get good service here. Let me take your phone downstairs and see if the messages come through, okay?” he talks so fast that you can barely make out the words that he's throwing at you. He doesn't offer you any chance to argue before he's quickly shuffling out of the room, your phone in hand.

_________________________________________________

“That's a wrap for now, Namjoon. Great job! Take an hour to eat and rest and we'll have your new wardrobe ready when you're finished,” the director of photography suggests, lifting his camera from the tripod. It's been an extremely long morning of photo and video shoots for next few chapters of BTS World – the group's successful mobile game. Namjoon bows respectfully before turning to rush to the catering table. He has spent the last hour so hungry that he knows everybody in the room could probably hear his stomach grumbling. After fixing himself a plate of assorted foods – kebabs, kimchi, sliders and some french fries – he sighs in relief when he's able to drop himself onto the sofa.

“Namjoon,” his voice is called but not loudly. Mouth stuffed with fries, he glances up to where Yoongi stands in front of him, phone clutched tightly in both hands.

“What's up, hyung?” he garbles through his food. He fights to swallow it down when he notices Yoongi's furrowed brows, the corners of his lips tilted downward in a worried frown. Something has happened. “What's going on? Are the boys okay?”

“It's not the boys,” he mumbles and Namjoon swears he hears a crack in the elder's voice. Yoongi stares at the screen of his phone for a few hard seconds before hesitantly turning the screen, holding it at Namjoon's eye level. “You need to see this.”

Namjoon is confused at first – the video begins with FRNZEE – minus Y/N, of course – engaging in silly poses in the parking lot of the KBS building. Loud voices and cheers for specific members infiltrate the audio but that's normal – there are always fans present when idols arrive to music show recordings. He's one second away from questioning his hyung on why this particular video has him so upset when it happens. There's indecipherable screaming before the shaky camera pans away from FRNZEE to the side of the building where a group of people are whipping garbage at somebody. The person in question is huddled against the wall with her hands around her head, her howls and pleas for them to stop cutting through the shouting. When the cameraman gets closer and closer, Namjoon's stomach drops to his knees when he realizes who the cowering, defenseless victim being attacked with garbage is.

The plate of food falls to the carpet.

“Namjoon -” Yoongi begins but he snatches the phone of out his hands, holding it close to his face as if the nearness of the video will make the contents stop. The video just keeps going. Nobody stops the attackers, nobody pulls you away from the scene. He's so close to Yoongi's phone that his nose brushes against the screen, his eyes wide as he watches somebody yank you by the hair. The screech of pain that follows pierces Namjoon who emits a tearless sob of anguish.

The finale of his heartbreak comes when one of the girls is violently pulled off of you by a security guard. In the scuffle, the necklace – his necklace, the one he spent months designing just for you – is ripped from your neck.

“Pick it up, pick it up,” he chants desperately, eyes trained on the small, neglected piece of jewelery on the ground by your feet. And then the video ends. The last frame it freezes on is you – hysterical, bruised, bloody and dirty – leaning against your manager for support.

When he lifts his head in shock, he's surprised to see the other five members next to Yoongi, eyes downcast and phones in their hands. They've seen it too.

“I did this,” he wheezes in disbelief. There's a painful swell in his chest and his heart is beating so hard that he can almost hear it. “I did this to her. This is all my fault.”

“Hyung, no,” Jimin admonishes, rushing to join Namjoon on the sofa. He wraps a comforting arm around his shoulder, squeezing. “You didn't do this. Those terrible girls did this.”

“They're ARMY though,” Jungkook's voice is almost a whisper. “Those are our fans that did this. To Y/N.

“No, I did this,” Namjoon snaps, shoving at Jimin's grasp and rising to his feet. “I denied our relationship to the public. I got her pulled from the comeback. I broke up with her. This is all on me.”

He's suddenly overcome with an overwhelming need to see you. To touch you. To know that you're okay with his own eyes. To get down on his hands and knees and beg for forgiveness. Maybe if he wouldn't have broken up with you, maybe if he would have just answered one of your many calls or texts, maybe … maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe.

Before he realizes what he's doing, his jacket is already on his shoulders.

“Namjoon, where are you going?” Jin sighs.

“Where do you think I'm going? That's my fucking girlfriend that they attacked. I need to see her.”

“She's not your girlfriend anymore,” Yoongi corrects softly. Namjoon feels a hand pull at the sleeve of his jacket, guiding him back toward the sofa. “And unless you're planning on getting back together with her, it's a very bad idea for you to visit her.”

Lowering himself back down onto the cushions, he drops his head into his hands. Does he want to get back together with you? Without a fucking doubt. You were his Sweets – the love of his life. But he didn't deserve you. No, you deserved someone who wasn't a coward, someone who would give you the world without any hesitation.

Namjoon was only somebody who broke your heart and your spirit. And now his fans – his fans, they supported him, they fought an unwanted fight for him – were breaking you in his name.

How could he ever expect you to want him back? How could he ever let you take him back?

“I heard that she's in the hospital, anyway. You know that place is swarming with cameras. You'll only make it worst,” Hoseok adds.

Namjoon's head pops up, his bottom lip quivering. “Hospital? Was she seriously injured?”

“I don't think so, hyung,” Taehyung murmurs, lowering himself to wrap his arms around his neck from behind. “I heard she's only getting a few bumps and bruises checked out. It's mainly to record evidence so they can sue the fans.”

“The fans ...” Namjoon trails off. He's suddenly assaulted with visions of cackling girls whipping things at you, menacing snarls on their faces as they yanked you by your hair. These fans … he doesn't know them but he hates them. He feels dirty, knowing that people like them are devoted to him, to the group. “Can somebody get me a pen and some paper? I need to put an end to this.”

________________________________________

“Manager said the girls are getting sued to the fullest degree. They might end up in a juvenile detention center for a few months,” Ji-na prattles, watching you with nervous eyes as you purge the contents of your closet, holding garments to your chest to examine in the mirror before tossing into one of two piles – keep or donate.

“The international fans have been really, really supportive. Even the BTS fans overseas have been rallying for you,” she continues, her eyes firm on your back as you study a stain on the sleeve of a dress. When it's clear that you're not going to respond, she sighs, dropping her chin onto her hands. “Has management spoken to you about this? How long are they going to have you on hiatus?”

Ji-na gets an answer this time – not with words, but with an empty suitcase being dropped onto your bed.

She sits up immediately, alarmed at the sight of luggage. “Y/N? Why do you have that? Why are you packing? I thought you were just organizing your closet.”

You fold a blouse, laying it down neatly. And then another. And another.

“Y/N, will you just fucking talk to me?” Ji-na screeches from her side of the room, launching herself off of the bed. She reaches out to slam the suitcase shut just as you're about to stack more clothes inside. “Why are you packing? Where are you going?”

You sigh – the first sound that Ji-na has heard you make since you got back from the hospital.

“I'm going home,” you say matter-of-factly. Ignoring her hand on the suitcase, you pull a duffle bag out from underneath your bed and begin to pack it instead.

“What do you mean? You are home,” Ji-na says confusedly.

“No, I'm going home, Ji-na. I'm going back to Daejeon,”

“Like … for good? Were you kicked out of the group?” she asks, shifting her body closer to you in an effort to distract you from shoving more garments into your luggage. “Please tell me what's going on.”

“Not that you care but I'm on an extended hiatus for my mental health. The company doesn't think it's a good idea for me to stay here right now so I've been sent home until they can figure out what to do with me. I don't know how long I'll be gone. I don't even know if I'll be allowed to come back. The good news is that I'll be gone so nobody has to worry about delusional little Y/N to bring them down anymore – I'll be out of your hair by tonight.”

“Not that I care? I – I can't even … why are you acting as if I'm happy about this?” Ji-na snarls, her hand smacking down onto the suitcase in frustration. “One of our members is leaving. One of my best friends is leaving – how can you accuse me of being glad?”

“Aren't you?” you drawl, arms crossing over your chest. “I'm a disgrace, remember? A laughing stock to the k-pop industry? Aren't you happy that you I won't be sullying FRNZEE's reputation anymore?”

“That's your insecurities talking, Y/N. Do not put words in our mouths. We would never leave a member behind-”

“You already did!” your voice is loud and shrill and it startles Ji-na who stumbles a few steps backward. “Today … when I was being attacked, all I wanted was for somebody to whisk me away. All I wanted was somebody to take my hand and pull me inside that building. But you – all of you – you just left me there. Even after Manager told you to take me!”

Ji-na opens her mouth to defend herself but she can't find the right words.

“We … Y/N, we didn't purposely leave you there. It was … it was fucking chaos. There was screaming and there was a crowd and we weren't able to even see you properly over all of the people recording. We just – we, I mean, I don't think-”

“Can you just leave me to pack? I'll come say goodbye to everyone when I'm finished.”

“Y/N,” she murmurs through wet, blurry eyes.

“Please,” you squeak, your plea breaking as you try to hold on to your composure. You just want to wait until she's out of the room before you allow yourself to fall apart.

Eyes trained on nothing, you wait until Ji-na's sniffling and soft footsteps are completely out of earshot before you slump to the floor. Glancing around the room, you study everything – the color of the walls, the placement of the furniture, the softness of the carpet. You want to believe that you'll be back here again soon but in your heart, you know that this is the end.

It feels like just yesterday you were blowing out the candles on your birthday cake, wishing for an everlasting happiness that included your boyfriend, your group and your music. And now, just months later, you've lost all three.

Where do you go from here?

#bts #bts fanfic #bts rm #bts namjoon #kim namjoon #RM #namjoon #namjoon fanfic #namjoon angst #bts angst #rm angst #namjoon x you #rm x you #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #namjoon imagine #rm imagine #rm fanfic

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subzerobts · 5 years ago

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Thoughts on the Eighth Member of BTS

A/N: No pairings or warnings for this, except that it may throw you into a sudden 8th member fanfic spiral. When I tell you I was reading 8th member fanfic for the majority of my day, I mean like a good six hours. It wasn’t good.

Okay, so I feel like a lot of people have talked about an eighth member and it being a girl and stuff so I figure I should add some stuff to the ever growing cache of things about the eighth member.

This was like 2300 words and I have no regrets.

~So if there was I feel like she would be slightly younger than most of them and would have come in after their first few albums

~Maybe she was raised in New York with her immediate family being mostly Korean and hella feminist and she’d have older brothers and be super chill

~So like maybe the company would be worried about the lack of fast growing traction with the group and have a girl added in

~First things first: it would be awkward as heck for the guys to suddenly have a girl there and would make living situations even more difficult, with having to share rooms and such. So, they’d probs alternate who rooms with who and who gets the couch, especially for her rooming with a guy

~Not to mention if she catches them talking about some sort of issue with the sleeping situation and then being nervous about it

~Eventually, I feel like she’d kind of get tired of all of the tiptoeing around her and be like

~‘Guys! I don’t even care! Unless you guys have some sort of creepy thing you’re trying to avoid, just treat me like one of you guys’

~Things would chill out basically immediately. Like the next few days, the boys were super relaxed and that was a problem because they just started walking around in just underwear and she would be like:

👀😒 um ew?? Put a shirt on?

~They’d clean it up a lil bit and walk around in like boxers and t shirts, which was fine she had older brothers, she could deal with that

~She’d respectfully bow out of the choreographed hip thrusts and things of that nature at first, like maybe they’d thrust and she’d like make a gagging motion or something(only rarely because the company would be like no) at some point she’d get extremely comfortable with just doing the hip thrusts herself

~The company even found that during interactions with fans she got just as much, sometimes more, attention and screaming as the boys

~Eventually she’d get used to dressing androgynous, like the stylist unnies would put her in skirts and she’d get kinda pissed and the guys would all agree that she’d be better in just what they’re wearing(i.e. pants)

~(Also, just a quick side note, before they even realized what was happening, they’d be super protective. Like unwarranted protection.

~Especially during interviews and talk shows any heavily toxic feminine questions related to her would be met with complete headassery(is that a word?) Just any kind of bullshit the guys could come up with.

~Like it wouldn’t happen immediately, but like after a few interviews and them seeing how uncomfortable it made her to answer the weird questions(coming from female OR male interviewers) they’d kind of come up with an unspoken agreement to answer any and every sexist comment or question with an answer just as shitty)

~ Into specific dynamics now:

~I feel like she’d be evenly split to each other member’s interests because in the first few months, that’s how she bonded with them, busy finding somethings she had in common with each of them and building on it

[we’ll go youngest to oldest]

~She is close with all of the boys, but each get her undivided attention when the moment serves.

~ With Jungkook she’d notice his quiet side during the beginning and willingness to please. So she’d always assure him, in a not so obvious way, that he was accepted. Just quiet validation from her court to his.

~So she’d set up gaming nights with Jungkook when they didn’t have strict schedules or just sit around on their phones

~ The fandom would eventually come to know them as the meme lords of the group.

~Their inside jokes are way too many to count and don’t even come close to being forgotten.

~Can’t forget GCF cause she would be in every single one of them that she could. She’s endlessly supportive of the videos and wants to be in all of them, she even suggests music and things(sometimes before he’s even thinking of doing another one)

~She disapproves when he pushes himself too hard. When she knows it’s happening, she’ll involve on of the hyungs( probably Jin) or they’ll talk to a manager if things get super serious.

~That being said, if he doesn’t have the dance down, or they’re both struggling, she’s the first to volunteer to run the dance with him multiple times and is always the voice of reason.

~When he says ‘one more time’ she says ‘food first’ or like ‘how about a water chugging contest really quick?!’ (bc we all know his competitive nature) ‘Jin probably has some left overs in the fridge that we can reheat, late night snack time!’

~They definitely argue a bit about being the “Golden Maknae.” She’s a bit competitive in that aspect. Because they’re both so talented and she’s just a half of a year older than he is.

~For Taehyung, I feel like she’d grow to love art with him. His quiet adoration for things of beauty, conventional or not.

~(They have a joke,mostly his own that he refuses to let die, that she’s his favorite piece of artwork, eventually she retaliates with him being her favorite piece of artwork and it just sticks.)

~They’d be the classy duo, but with matching boxy smiles. Elegant and poised, their visuals are basically unmatched and during photo shoots, they’re always the ones finished way before the others.

~There are no bad sides for the classy duo. (I’m basically imagining model material for both of them, like just ethereal. Visual god and goddessssssss)

~Also his need to fall asleep holding something, I feel like she’d match that with just being okay with anything when she’s asleep or almost asleep(like she’d fall asleep in the car with the boys or something and be difficult to wake up, so they’d just carry her and she wouldn’t even stir)

~So Tae would lay beside her and they’d be chilling and eventually fall asleep and then later wake up holding onto each other.

~Both of them are shameless damn flirts. They’re attractive and they know it and they will absolutely use it to (not literally) kill ARMY

~Jimin is a bit harder to think about(idek why) but I feel like she’d be his buddy in quiet studying. Like he’d come find her if he wanted to do some reading, but not be alone and she’d be totally down( same with Joon but hold on)

~and either she’d read her own book or she’d do some sketching(mostly because she’d want to have her own unique thing that the others weren’t too interested in)

~Jimin would be her ideal model in these moments. She never gets tired of sketching any of the boys, but in those moments, Jimin is the least likely to change face or position and thus be the perfect study.

~she’d also ask him for homework help in the earlier days with like mathematics and he’d always be more than happy to help

~Jimin is a brat and I feel like when the two of them spend a bit too much time together, the rest of the group can only expect the worst.

~(Low key the Lil-Shit Duo™️)

~Joon is next and here’s where her position in the group comes in. Since she was raised in New York, she’d be fluent in both Korean and English and, as such, would help with the interviews and translating.

~It’s a huge load for Namjoon to carry and with her, being by his side and helping with rephrasing things to the boys during interviews really eases him.

~Along with that, he always makes sure that she knows how much he appreciates her after difficult interviews or just every good while he’s just endlessly doting and complimenting her and things. She always tells him that it’s unnecessary, but he never stops thanking her.

~So they’re like the Leader Duo™️ and are consistently doing damage control between the boys(almost like group therapy) or rephrasing the boys’ answers(in those moments where the boys give weird answers to questions in interviews)

~When not in the public eye, they are coming up with ways to better interact with ARMY or they’re expanding their horizons by reading and stuff.

~Her favorite thing with Joon is working on learning a new language or just English with Joon and making up little tongue twisters and sayings and debating proper ways to phrase things. Which brings us to:

~Being a part of the rapline. So Joon, Hobi, and Yoongi are her peeps. When she’s not entertaining the maknae line, she’s with the Hyung line.

~Hobi and her have a cute dynamic. He babies her a little bit and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t love it at least a little.

~they like coming up with dances together, even when they are supposed to be taking the day off, just goofing around and coming up with dances for little snippets of songs is fun

~they’re like the sunshines of the group. So he’s J-hope and she’s his ‘little hope��. How cute.

~She’s constantly encouraging his little quirks and things that he does(the sound effects and just being him) and being right there with him in being the lights of the group.

~I feel like her and Jungkook get the same bit of his attention. Like the cuddly bits of it

(and my heart skips for cuddly JungHope so like imagining the three of them being cozy and mellow together and just watching the rest of the group do whatever. Agh my heart)

~My boy Yoongles is next and let me tell you I’ve been excited as hell for this one.(trying real hard not to let bias love seep through)

~When moving to a more spacious apartment, they decided to give her her own room. (She’s grateful.)

~And so when she wants to tamp down the wildness in the apartment, get a moment's peace, she retreats to her room.

~While she’s endlessly supportive of all six of the others, encouraging their wild quirks, her room is the quietest. Her room has a ‘no noise’ rule.

~Yoongi shares a room with Jin still at this point and not that Jin is a bad roommate, or particularly noisy, it’s just that the maknae line patronizes him a lot. And Yoongi has very little patience for that.

~So her room is where they’ll often find him. She has a comfy couch that she took Yoongi with to pick it out(because it was basically for him.)

~Point is, she’s mellow when she wants and needs to be and Yoongi is drawn to that chill side of her.

~When the rest are wild and he wants mellowness, he seeks her out and when she wants to be a bit rowdy, she leaves and closes the door.

~He has a gigantic soft spot for her. Not even kidding.

~The boys will always pull her into the situation if they think Yoongi might get too angry or a prank goes south and does more harm than fun amusement.

~They mention that she was involved and she goes with it because she doesn’t want the boys in too much trouble and Yoongi won’t hurt her like he would the boys(not actually hurt but you know like “beat them up”) or scold her too harshly.

~As soon as he finds out she’s involved the anger either dissipates or he removes himself from the situation so as not to hurt anything(but you bet your ass she scolds the maknaes from time to time on Yoongi’s behalf)

~And he definitely helps with her mixtape which the fandom is waiting for. Basically, chomping at the bit. She gives Yoongi and Joon so much credit tbh

~They definitely nap together. Mostly because they’re up at ungodly hours during the night, either working on songs or just talking because that’s definitely a thing that happens.

~They have similar views of the world(I’m mostly thinking of Interlude: Shadow here) but being lonely while being famous is definitely a view they share and are drawn together from that. Despite all of their wants to be on the top of the world, they want to not be lonely.

~Along with her keeping up well with the rowdy bits of the group, she’s definitely introverted like Yoongi. She does what she has to to further the group, but she does get drained and just kind of shuts everyone out some times.

~This is where Jin comes in. (Not to be that cliché bitch who’s always like Jin’s the mom of the group omg) but in this case, he makes sure she’s eating and taking care of herself when she does this.

~They all have locks on their doors and she keeps hers locked a majority of the time, but Jin and Yoongi are the only people she absolutely trusts with coming in unannounced.

~Despite always laughing at his dad jokes and being totally supportive of that, he knows when to turn on being serious and not taking her bullshit about “being fine” if she’s not.

~He forces(more like needles annoyingly) her to eat even when she says she’s not hungry during those times

~Makes sure she’s taking care of herself like showering and brushing her teeth and things.

~During the earlier years when she mostly stayed with the boys, very little contact to her mother in New York, Jin absolutely made sure he had cramp medication on hand and feminine products stashed in spots around the house. Well hidden obvi so the boys wouldn’t just stumble across them, but still there. (She does these things on her own now, but she’ll never forget the thought he put into making sure she was cared for)

~She’s definitely requested a majority of the time on EatJin. ARMY just likes to make sure that she’s eating(just like all of them) and they want to see the two of them talk.

~All in all, the boys are her family and she wouldn’t trade them for the world.

#i didnt want something so informal to be my first fic related post #but i got inspired so....#bts #8th member au #8th member of bts #bangtan #bts mots 7 #bts fanfic #jungkook #taehyung #jimin #namjoon #hoseok #yoongi #seokjin

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zerooclockimagines · 5 years ago

Text

Red Wine: Chapter 2

A series with Taehyung as the love interest but all members are in it (with some interesting side stories)

Warnings: mostly fluff so no warnings I guess.

Synopsis: Katie loves writing, her short essay wins an international competition and thus she gets to write the biography of the most famous band in the world; BTS. She has a lot of bagage and obstacles to overcome but along with her charming best friend Tara and seven sweet men she finds the world is not as bad as she thought, especially when she starts falling for one of them.

Taehyung had convinced me to dine with him and the guys. I sat down next to him and Hoseok. "So Catherine where are you from?" Namjoon, who was sitting across from me, asked. "Katie." I croaked. My voice had become raspy and deep from all the wine. I really should stop drinking. "Everyone calls me Katie." I explained. "And I come from a small town in Belgium."

"So your native tongue is not English?" Jimin raised his eyebrows and looked at me. "I wouldn't have guessed that, your English is fluent." I smiled. "No my native tongue is not English, it's dutch but I've loved the English language since I was eight years old." He nodded.

Seokjin placed the bowl of food on the table. It looked delicious. It smelled amazing too.

Half of them attacked the food like they hadn't eaten in days.

I waited until they had all filled up their plates before filling mine. Jungkook and Yoongi had already gone through half their plates before I even took my first bite. "Hmm, this is amazing!" I beamed. "Thanks." Seokjin grinned. I ate my entire plate. Even when I was full I still emptied it.

When everyone was done I started gathering the dishes and carrying them to the kitchen. "You don't have to do that Catherine." Seokjin told me bringing other dishes into the kitchen. "Katie and yes I do you already provided this delicious meal." He laughed and shook his head. "I do have to say it's refreshing to have a girl at the table."

"Thanks, I guess." I placed the dishes in the sink and let the water run. "You do know the staff of the hotel can do that right?" He asked. "I find that doing the work of the staff helps appreciating their work. Besides if you make it fun washing the dishes isn't that bad." I glanced at him while pouring the soap into the sink. He was rolling up his sleeves. "Okay, let's do it."

"What's taking you guys so long?" Jungkook chirped walking in. The others followed behind him. "What are you doing?" Hoseok asked. "Washing dishes." I replied. Taehyung immediately took a towel and chipped in. I gave him a slight smile.

Namjoon and Jimin picked up a towel as well. The others just stood against the wall or sat down on the kitchen island. There was no need to have seven people drying the dishes so they just put away the clean ones whenever they were ready. "And why exactly are we doing this?" Yoongi asked. "Because we made those dishes dirty." I stressed. "You have to make it fun. maybe we could play a game, sing something-"

"Hold on, you sing?" Jungkook interrupted me. "I used to, not anymore though, I meant you guys."

A wine glass suddenly slipped out of my hand and fell onto the edge of the sink. I tried to stop it from breaking but instead grabbed it while it was already broken.Glass sunk into my skin and blood soaked out. I cried out.

Seokjin took my arm without even thinking about and carefully pulled out the pieces of glass. It stung but it wasn't so bad. "Are you okay?" Namjoon asked. "I'm fine." Seokjin had pulled out all the glass and placed a towel around my hand. "This needs to be cleaned." I nodded and thought about telling him I could do it myself but something in his determined look told me he was not going to let me do that so I said nothing.

"Hey Hobi can you hand me the first aid kit?" Hoseok looked behind him and took down the white box hanging on the wall. Seokjin took it and searched it for supplies. "I thought your name was Hoseok?" I questioned. "Please nobody has called me that in years." Seokjin put something on my hand which stung badly. I hissed. "But it's a great name." I argued. "So is Catherine and if you keep calling me Hoseok I'm going to keep calling you that." I rolled my eyes but couldn't help smiling.

Seokjin rubbed the alcohol on my hand and I cringed. I felt a small piece of glass sliding further into my skin. "Sweet mother of God." I cursed. "Seokjin I think there is still a piece of glass in there." He looked up at me, his dark eyes staring at me with concern. It reminded me of something Tara was always saying. She always told me how Seokjin was the oldest one and how he always acted like the parent. I guess it was true. I should make a mental note about that. "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to pull it out with tweezers." I nodded and pressed my lips together. He tried to find it on the surface but he couldn't.

"Katie I think we should call a doctor." I shook my head. I didn't like going to the doctor. They were always so socially incompetent it gave me shivers. "No, just dig for it."

"That's going to hurt, a lot." He informed. "Just do it." I asserted. Next to me Taehyung grabbed my hand. "You can squeeze if you need to." He whispered. I was stubborn and told myself I wouldn't have to, but when Seokjin dug into my hand with those tweezers I think I nearly crushed Taehyung's hand. I let my head fall back and pressed my lips together up to the point they probably turned white. "Almost got it." I started humming to distract myself.

Finally I felt something being pulled out of my skin. "Done." He declared. I let out a sight and let go of Taehyung's hand. "Sorry." I said to him when I saw his hand had also turned white. He shook his hand to let the blood return. "It's nothing."

Seokjin continued to take care of my hand. "Thank you." I said when he was done.

"Washing the dishes is fun huh?" Yoongi teased. "You can take her place."Namjoon said amused, throwing the dishcloth at him. Yoongi rolled his eyes but started washing dishes.

"Hey what were you humming just now?" Jimin asked me. "Oh eumh, a dutch song, you won't know it."

"I would love to hear it, it sounded beautiful."

"Sure, some other time." He nodded. "Why don't you sing anymore?" Jungkook asked me. "It's complicated." I shrugged not wanting to continue this conversation. He backed off and set away some more dishes.

When we were done Jimin proposed to play some drinking games. Everyone agreed and they even got me to agree too. "Fine but I'm drinking water."

"Bo-oring." Yoongi sang. I rolled my eyes at him.

We all ended up in Namjoon and Seokjin's room because apparently that's their go to place to hang out. Mentally I made notes that I should remember to put all of this on my computer. I couldn't exactly take real notes, that would be strange and they wouldn't open up to me like they do now.

Their room looked a lot like mine, only is was bigger and there were two beds. Everyone started throwing pillows on the floor and arranging them into a circle. It seemed they had all done this before. Yoongi and Seokjin made room for me to sit between them and Taehyung handed me a glass of red wine. "Taehyung I-" I swallowed in the rest of my words because he gave me a 'don't argue with me' look. Fine if I really hit my limit I would just tell them, I thought. "Let's play truth or truth." Hoseok- I mean Hobi suggested. I frowned. "Isn't that just asking questions?"

He looked at me like I said something really stupid. "It is totally different Katie, see I'll begin." He thought for a couple of seconds. "Jungkook, are you the one behind that prank?" Jungkook smirked. "What prank?" I asked. "I'll explain." Jungkook crowed. "I switched all of the songs on the album to tracks of the lion king." His eyes twinkled, clearly he felt proud of his joke.

"You did not!" I marveled. My mouth fell open. "So you had to re-record all your songs?" Jungkook shook his head. "No I just put the real songs on a drive and left it next to the panel with a little note." The others laughed. "So you're a disney fan?" I hinted. He nodded making his hair jump up and down. "Of course I am, I mean who isn't?" I grinned. "Amen."

"You're next Katie. I want to know how you came to enter the competition?" I chuckled. "Through my best friend. She's your biggest fan. She actually pushed me, I didn't really know you but she knew I loved writing." I crossed my legs and asked Taehyung a question next. On his turn he asked Jimin a question who then reserved his question for me again.

"You know I get the feeling you guys want to know a lot about me so why don't you just ask me all the questions you're dying to ask?" I offered. Namjoon looked up at me. "What's your favourite music?" He asked softly. "Honestly I don't really have a favourite genre, I love really different kinds of music. I really adore Little Mix though. I love their female empowerment message." He smiled, showing the dimples in his cheeks.

"How old are you?" Yoongi asked. "twenty-two." I answered. "You look older." He replied. "Thank you?" He grinned. "It's the clothes." Hobi said. I looked at my jeans and red blouse. The black cardigan over it was loosely hanging around my waist. "What's wrong with my outfit?" I argued. "It screams soccer-mom."

"Why, we have known each other for a day and you're already insulting me." I raised one of my eyebrows at him. "It's not necessarily a bad thing." He corrected himself. "It's great if you are a soccer-mom but not for a twenty-two year old. You're young and you have a figure you should play it out." My smiled disappeared. I took another sip of my wine.

"I'm sorry if I have insulted you in any way." I shook my head. "I used to have a different style." I started. "But my boyfriend said I dressed too exposed so I changed it." Hobi nodded. I could see Taehyung rolling his eyes when he thought I wasn't looking at him. He really did not like Dean and he hadn't even met him. "I still have pictures on my instagram though." I told them my account name and let them look for a second. "Damn girl you really had style." Hobi beamed. "That's too exposed?" Taehyung asked. He showed me one of the pictures with Tara. I was wearing a blue jeanskirt that reached from my waist to my knees and a white blouse on top of it, the bottom of it tucked in my skirt, it had a deeper cleavage than the one I have on now but nothing was showing. I had my high heels on and some make up. I shined. "Apparently." I sighed, longing to the old Katie. I loved dressing up and going out. I loved shopping. When had I lost it all?

Seeing myself back then made me emotional.

I excused myself and went to the balcony.

I called Tara. I needed to talk to someone I knew. She picked up immediately. "Katie!" She cheered. "How is it?"

"They're nice." I told her. "That's it? They're nice?!" I chuckled. "T, I'm sorry but I'm not really in that kind of mood."

"What's wrong sweetheart?" I could hear the concern in her voice. "I was just thinking about the old days, before Dean." She sighed and I knew she wanted to say something but she didn't. "I miss that Katie." I continued. "I miss that Katie too, but she isn't dead Katie, bring her back."

"But Dean-" I stopped. I knew she didn't like him. "Babe, you shouldn't have to stop being who you are for a guy. If he can't accept that screw him." I had to wipe away a tear from my eye. "But what if nobody else wants me Tara? What if nobody else wants fucked up Katie?" I could hear cracks in her voice too. "Katie, listen to me. I love you for who you are, flaws, past, everything because you are so strong because of all that. There is someone out there who's going to love you for who you are, just like me. Someone who will not try and change you." She stressed the last part and I knew she was referring to Dean. "Look I know you aren't ready to call it quits with Dean but he isn't the one Katie." We were both silent for a minute. "Thanks Tara. I promise I will call you tomorrow with all the details."

"You better!" She exclaimed. "Bye Tara."

"Bye Katie."

I took a moment to dry my tears and drank my entire glass. I put on a smile and headed back inside.

"Are you okay Katie?" Taehyung asked concerned. "I'm fine, thanks." I gave him the best smile I could at the moment. "I could use some more alcohol though." I handed him my glass and he poured me another drink, a big one this time. He handed it back to me and winked.

The rest of the evening passed by smoothly. I was able to smile and even laugh again and the guys and I really bonded. By the end of the night I felt really accepted by them.

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