#but god the fact that she watched carolina die and then just had to fuck off to protect herself SHE DESERVED MORE

[fischiee]

thinking about that year that tex spent alone thinking she’d lost both church and carolina in one fell swoop…

[emptylotfiasco]

short story:

long story: ohh god what the fuck was that what the fuck was that. why did donut only have a single line in simmons' thoughts. why did carolina only appear at the end. the audacity to retcon season 15 onwards to make an even worse season. killing sarge. i feel like i just watched a marvel movie.

just. some of the characterisation was bad. its strange that the reds had to be convinced to go on the big mission to save everyone when they spent the whole show growing into their responsibilities and doing heroic shit. its strange they left caboose behind to get killed by the meta after they spent the whole show learning to get along and be ride or die with eachother. on the OPPOSITE end its strange that sarge gave grif that whole speech about being hard on him because he knew he could be better. lol no. he is a jerk to him because he doesnt care about how grif feels. and obviously, its strange that grif left simmons at the end, because being separated from the reds and blues would drive him crazy and fuck you that was his best friend for 18 seasons.

fans respond well to emotional moments in the previous seasons but this felt like an emotional jerk off session. just a whole lot of unearned emotional moments and deep conversations that felt stunted and out of place. the funeral scene was ten minutes long. there were so many conversations about wash's feelings (when carolina started to ask him about why he felt he had to earn doc's aid i was so over it. why are we delving into his self esteem issues right now after everything that happened.) there was always a balance between comedy/drama and they did not manage that. having more scenes wouldve made the moments feel earned and i know they couldnt do that but. i still wouldnt have included a lot of this stuff.

there was a lot of hand holding, with the excessive emotional conversations, the long, constant recaps of stuff that happened in previous seasons and the show-dont-tellness. it is obvious that epsilon split himself into other fragments. it is obvious that tucker is in the meta suit and he has all the fragments and is evil. maybe if they spent less time explaining everything they could fit more stuff lol. that is also something i feel applies to all the emotional shit, they could have used a lot more subtlety.

if they wanted a rounded season focused on reflection of all the previous seasons and character arcs (which it did feel like they were trying to do tbf) i think jason's original s18 pitch wouldve been good for it. this did feel like a giant collection of plot beats and i heard it was supposed to be a trilogy but was rushed so that makes sense and explains a lot of the problems. under no amount of time constraints could i forgive them fumbling grimmons though. fuck. they only have themselves to blame for that.

some things i liked: how tex was handled (that made me so happy that was so sweet. best tex lives fic and its written into the show<3 i know tex's VA left on bad terms with RT so the fact that she came back just makes me. god i love tex), carolina appeared that made me happy even though she shouldve been here the whole time but whatever. her and tex fighting the meta together was awesome. caboose snapping tucker out of it (im such a big fan of them<33). wash throwing himself off a cliff because thats the best way he can think to solve a situation. amazingly in character. any time the reds goofed off it made me giggle and kick my feet. the church youtube skit committed egregious sins i already mentioned but i think it was cute that it was in a 2D art style. the zoom security guards and basically the few bits of comedy always landed and were really funny.

anyways. i cant expect them to make a good season while their company is getting shut down. this was definitely rushed, probably not a finalised draft and done under time constraints. i dont blame them, i am not upset that it didnt deliver. but that does not mean it was good. im going to pretend it was another epsilon simulation. and im still writhing at them retconning season 15 for this.

hey akalegos... justg finished watching the new rvb season and unblocked all the tags i think im gonna throw up

How’s it going emptylotfiasco….

[crazy56u]

Currently batting two for two in the “Have to watch the new episode after the fact due to work” category, yay for me!

We open in on a pregnant woman in a parking lot.

Ben legitimately almost had a panic attack when face with having to deliver a baby.

The quickest, cleanest baby delivery.

Now if only the rest of the Leap was this easy.

And Addison decided to just rip the bandaid off and say the episode’s title.

If only Ben leap into the grunge scene instead of the ER scene…

I don’t know how to feel about the asshole she’s talking to being a Stephen…

Dr. Turk. …so, basically, this is Scrubs.

“Why are you here past your shift?” “I delivered a baby! :D” “Yeah, get off the high horse, pal…”

“You can’t save everyone.” That moment they telegraph the moral three minutes in.

And as Ben learns he has to save multiple lives, the sound department decides to crank the knockoff Creed!

Nurse Carolina, not to be confused with Nurse Nebraska.

Thank god for that white coat, otherwise Ben would be looking shifty right now.

Annnnnd they ain’t in the system yet, so in about 10… 9… 8…

“Code trauma.” Ding!

What if those two ambulances did a head-on collision just then?

Okay, so question: Why didn’t they have Ben leap in to stop the train crash?

“If they can walk, they can wait. If they are currently standing, fuck ‘em!”

Ben was about to black out then and there.

“Ziggy says there’s a 100% chance all three were on that train!” Tell Ziggy “No shit.” for me.

Okay, not for nothing, but if they said she had shrapnel in her fucking heart, I don’t have high hopes for her…

Watch as Nurse Carolina decides to brush off the fact that the resident, from her perspective, predicted three of the train victims prior to them arriving.

…is Dr. Harper’s first name “Stephen”, by chance?

In the 90s, hospitals were just playgrounds for mad science experiments, I guess…

Ah, so this hospital sucks, glad to know!

Addison, so what if they “didn’t know” Respiratrex was dangerous. People didn’t know Thalidomide was dangerous in the 50s, and look what happened there!

50/50 odds on her survival, glad to know God’s about to flip a coin in this bitch.

Ben’s logic: “Fuck it, I’m a better doctor than Harper, and I’m a time traveler, fuck his paper!”

“If Dr. Harper finds out you changed his script, he’ll Nike your career!” “Dr. Turk, you won’t understand this saying for a couple decades, but ‘YOLO’.”

[Okay, legit, Peacock crashed after I did that.]

…I think she forgot the actual line, and just ad-libbed that “Bold”…

Meanwhile, in 2023, everything is somehow worse!

I still stick to my theory that they locked Janis in a broom closet last week, her being in the interrogation room changes nothing.

I love how Magic is just playing the Sam card right out of the gate, he is done with her shit.

Okay, I half expected Janis to immediately make a break for it once the cuffs came off.

“I wanna talk to Ben, and I don’t care if he’s currently doing hospital resident train crash victim shit.”

“Hey, you, I have a working memory, did you predict there was a train crash?”

It is in my strongest belief that the second Carolina learns of the third victim, she is going to punch Ben in the arm.

Okay, cool, so the episode’s depressing depressing, got it.

Being told you have a concussion is the shittiest way to learn you have a tumor, goddamn…

And Eli just wants to die, okay, what a fun episode to enjoy immediately after a long night of work, yay me…

Oh! Goody! He’s Sandra’s dad!

It feels weird having barely missed the pager era…

“Okay, look, I’ll keep your tumor a secret, you fucking stay put.”

[I just paused. Why are they not showing the right half of Louis’s head?]

[OH FUCK]

“Hey, audience? Tell me? Do I got something on my face?”

Ben must engage in casual chit chat, or Louis will fucking die.

Ben, this is the worst time to forget you are supposed to be a woman…

Okay, cool, one out of three so far…

And so Janis and Jenn get crunk.

About fucking time we remember the cowboy existed…

Again, why didn’t we have Ben try and stop the crash?

Why does it look like Ben is trying to invent Wikipedia?

“Got a patient with a brain tumor?” “Yep, and it ain’t your dad, so don’t worry a thing about it.”

“Man, I sure do have a patient with a break tumor, so, hey, on an unrelated note, wanna talk about your dad?”

So, in other words, Eli is the Saul Goodman of Quantum Leap.

MORAL OF THE STORY: If you suck at being a dad, you will create doctors.

Okay, in another life time, Ben is the guy who does the quick side effect reading during medicine commercials.

“Look, I know this drug has bad side effects, but the FDA helped me pay off my car, so I say you’re wrong.”

“Look, I know I can’t prove how I know she has an undiagnosed medical condition, but fuck off.”

I love how Dr. Harper thinks he’s the hero in this story.

Okay, at this point, I hope Dr. Harper slips on a banana peel and falls on his ass.

And there’s the rub: In order to stop the use of a shit drug, a daughter must make amends with her dying father.

“Look, I know I said I’d stay, but fuck it, I’m out.” “Eli, if you leave, the FDA will win!”

I really want to see the “Better Call Saul”-style spin off involving Eli…

“Maybe this cancer is the way the universe wants my story to end.” “Look, I already changed one script today, don’t you worry…”

[Okay, I was joking earlier, Ben legitimately practically told Eli “if you leave, the FDA will win”…]

…and now we have a character being declared brain dead… … …okay, I know that coincidences exist, and I am reading too much into this, but how in the fuck is this the second Quantum Leap story this month I have experienced involving this shit?

Man, Ben, this week just sucks for you…

BOY DO I LOVE HOW LIGHT HEARTED THIS EPISODE IS BEING RIGHT NOW, BOY OH BOY

“Hey, good news, the depressing scene is over!”

Episode, why are you insistent in turning the screws on Ben right now?

Okay, it’s defibrillating time.

Why am I now hearing “How To Save A Life” in the back of my head?

And speaking of depressions going back to baseline!

“Hey, are you psychic, tell me now!” “So, about your dad’s tumor-”

“So, what do you think?” “Man, Jenn, I dunno, this episode’s fucking depressing…” “Magic, I was talking about Janis.”

Is the endgame of Janis’s plot arc just hiring her onto Quantum Leap?

Wait, was Ian even in the episode yet?

Also, calling it now, the dead wife’s gonna be the heart donor.

“FUCK these papers!”

CALLED IT

I choose to believe that this is Ben himself admitting he should’ve been allowed to prevent the train crash.

Now watch as Dr. Harper tries to fuck up the heart transplant…

CALLED IT.

Is Ben about to fist fight Dr. Harper, please god say he is…

“Look, I’m still processing my dad has a tumor-” “TOO BAD, DR. HARPER IS ABOUT TO KILL KIMBERLY”

“FUCK THESE CROWDED HALLWAYS!”

WHAT THE FUCK, BEN?! “Look, if you don’t hear us out about the murder drug, THE IV BAG GETS IT!”

Just fucking saying, Sam Beckett never fucking held a person’s life hostage in order to save the day, so that’s how you know Ben has bigger stones.

Ben got so pissed off with the sexism, he forgot the plot.

“Look, if she had that stupid disease, we’d know by now!” “(practically slaps him in the face with the chart) Bet.”

“…okay, fine, fuck it, use the other drug, I give. Now, just let the IV Bag go.”

Honestly, Ben should’ve been allowed to keep the scalpel, he earned it.

What if Eli already left?

I love how Ben didn’t leap yet, so now he’s chilling in an ambulance.

“What if all of this was for nothing, and I let you down?” Ben, the show got renewed, you’re fine.

Also, calling it now, the situation with Addison is revealed in the season finale.

“Stop being afraid.” “Oh, okay. (leaps)”

“Okay, look, I just got done with helping Ben stop the FDA, so this better be good.”

“Look, I ain’t happy with this situation either, Addison, but that doesn’t mean I have to put up with this shit.”

“Tell Ben to shut up, or the Secret Leapers will get us all. Yes, I know this sounds like conspiracy theory bullshit, but I am being legit.”

And now Ben is in the elevator from Speed, I already saw the promo, I know the punchline.

…is Ben in fucking Chernobyl?

So, just to reiterate: Ben defeated the FDA by holding an IV bag hostage, and Janis is a borderline conspiracy theorist.

It is a legitimate crime we have to wait three weeks for the next episode…

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Ch. 29: Happiest Place on Earth (Vacation/Roadtrip)

AO3

Prev

Marinette blinks at her dad, trying to make sense of what he’s saying.

“B, you have a private jet. Why the fuck are we driving?” Jason asks, and Marinette swears his eye twitches.

“I thought it would be nice to do a family vacation the normal way, complete with a road trip.” Her dad says and Marinette frowns. Now? Now is when he decides to be normal?

“Father, we can not all leave. Someone must stay behind to patrol and watch over Gotham. As much as it pains me, I will stay.” Damian says, and Marinette resists the urge to whack him. It wasn’t going to hurt him at all to get to stay, he was doing it on purpose. She wanted to go on vacation with her brothers and dad and Selina, but she also wasn’t sure she wanted to deal with them being so close to her for over fifteen hours in an enclosed vehicle.

“No need. Clark said he would make sure to listen for any extreme trouble, Stephanie and Barbara will still be here, and if all else fails we’ll use the Zeta tubes to get back.” Her dad says, his tone filled with finality. This was serious. He was really going to do this to them.

“Well, I’ll drive the second car. And I call Pix-”

“We don’t need to take two vehicles, Jason. Selina and I went out and bought a new car that will seat all of us perfectly, and there’s plenty of room in the back for luggage.” He says, and Marinette makes eye contact with Damian. His face says ‘fix this’, but all she can do is shrug. There was no way she was going to be able to save all of them from this one. Their dad looked way too determined. Alfred had somehow managed to plan his own trip to England to line up perfectly with their trip, which meant he was saved from the inevitable horror the trip would bring.

---

Marinette was willing to bet that her dad had never been on a road trip before. She honestly doubted he’d ever seen a movie with a road trip before, because if he had, they would most definitely not be on one. Even movies with road trips show how awful they are. Sure, the family is smiling by the end, but that’s because they’ve come up with a foolproof murder plan. Marinette frowns and blinks. She’d definitely been spending way too much time with Damian.

She had even tried to convince her dad to use Kaalki, even though he hated magic. In fact, Kaalki had begged as well. But no. So Kaalki was riding in the spare tire shell on the back of the car, unwilling to sit with her brothers for so long. Not that she could blame the Kwami. They were only an hour into the drive (that was scheduled to take fifteen hours and forty five minutes, not including breaks or traffic). She wasn’t too upset with the seating arrangement, but it had been calm so far. Too calm. Her dad and Selina were, of course, in the front. The next row, which also contained bucket seats, had Dick (he claimed one of the seats as the oldest) and Tim (who had to sit there because he got horribly carsick). That meant that she was stuck in the very back, sitting between Damian and Jason. But that was fine, they’d gotten along so far. They could keep it up for another fifteen hours, right?

---

They couldn’t even keep it up for another five minutes. Jason reached behind her and whacked Damian, which made him let out a battle cry, one that was way too loud for the car, before turning and attacking Jason again. She wasn’t sure how Tim was still asleep, even with his headphones on, but she supposed it was for the best. She really didn’t want to deal with her brother’s car sickness this early in the trip.

“This family is a fucking nightmare!” Jason yells, kneeing the back of Dick’s seat. Marinette glares at him and his dramatics. He was definitely trying to get their dad to turn the car around and switch to the jet. But Marinette had a feeling that instead of turning around, he’d drive even slower.

“Jay, I love you. But if you don’t stop screaming, they’ll never find your body.” Marinette whispers with a smile. Jason frowns, elbowing her gently.

“What’s wrong with you? I thought you’d be all over this shit.” He says with a huff. Marinette narrows her eyes.

“What, annoying shit?” She whispers snarkily, and Jason blinks. She frowns, until she realizes what she said. “Don’t tell dad!” She begs, latching onto Jason’s arm.

“Bruce!” Jason yells. Marinette yelps and covers his mouth.

“Jason, I am begging you not to do this.” She says, making eye contact with her dad in the rearview mirror and smiling awkwardly. “He was just guessing for, um, uh, I spy!” She yells, sighing in relief as he just nods and turns back to talk to Selina more. She’s about to give Jason an ultimatum, when he licks her hand. She gasps, yanking her hand back and wiping it on her pants with a frown.

“Karma!” Jason declares and Marinette huffs.

“No, it was just gross you mega jerk.” She says.

“Could I have the aux cord?” Dick asks suddenly. Marinette watches amusedly as Jason lunges forward to try and rip the cord from him.

“No, B, why would you give it to him?” He yells, trying to reach it, but unable to because of the seatbelt.

“I think you’re old enough to take turns, Jason. It’s not the end of the world letting Dick use the aux cord.” Dad says, and Dick cheers, plugging the cord into his phone. It’s completely silent for a moment, before ABBA suddenly blasts through the speakers. Marinette turns to Damian, her face stuck in a deadpan expression.

“I know you have a knife. Kill me, please. Or at least stab me badly enough that we have to stop.” She instructs, her eye twitching as Dick starts singing off key.

“If I had two, I would. But I refuse to allow you to escape this hell and leave me to deal with it by myself. If I am stuck here, ukht, then so are you.” Damian says, his tone just as flat.

“Nuh uh. Either all of the resurrected bitches get to die, or none of us do.” Jason pipes up and Marinette sighs.

“Completely unfair, but whatever.” She says, as a horrible thought suddenly crosses her mind. “Oh my god.” She says.

“What?” Damian asks. She pinches the bridge of her nose, and lets out a long breath before looking at her brother sadly.

“We have to drive all the way back, too.” She says, and chaos erupts in the backseat.

---

Jason glares at Bruce in the rearview mirror, waiting for the man to look back and notice him. He finally, finally does, and Jason just grins at Bruce’s responding sigh.

“What?” He asks, and Jason frowns.

“What, can I not just glare at you for no reason?” He asks, snorting at the overly done look on B’s face. “Okay, okay. I was just gonna ask you to stop at the next gas station. I need to walk around, my legs are literally dead.” He says.

“How? I thought Marinette was lying on your legs?” B says and Jason huffs.

“Yeah, she is, but I’m also scrunched up back here because Replacement just had to have the other good seat. I have long legs, B, I’m dying.” Jason says.

“Tt. If you were dying, I would not be forced to hear your voice.” Damian snarks, not even opening his eyes. Jason opens his mouth to argue, but is stopped by a finger raising slowly into the air.

“Shhhhhhhhhhhh.” Pix says before dropping her finger back down and shifting around. Jason just rolls his eyes, trying hard not to smile at his baby sister. Maybe he could wait to walk a little longer. He leans up against the window, letting the soft noises of the car lull him to sleep.

---

Marinette Dupain Cheng was not dressed to impress as she walked into the random McDonalds, somewhere in North Carolina. Her dad had wanted to drive the whole way in one day, so at the last stop before she fell asleep, she’d changed into a pair of leggings, fuzzy socks and one of Jason’s old hoodies. Add in slides and a messy bun that could be mistaken for an abstract art exhibit, and Marinette was not willing to talk to anyone. At least, not until she had some coffee. She’s barely able to order her food before she’s following her brothers to a table in the corner. Sitting in the seat between Tim and Jason, she doesn’t even blink at the oddly stick table. It was six in the morning, the cleanliness of a table wasn’t exactly her number one priority. She narrows her eyes as Dick tries to say something to her, not quite able to comprehend his words. Just as she thinks she’s going to fall asleep on the sticky table, a huge cup is placed in her hands. The smell makes her sigh in relief before she takes a giant swig of the coffee, barely registering how hot it is.

“-nette! God, that was definitely too hot.” Dick says. Marinette blinks, the pain in her mouth finally helping her to register the fact that the coffee was too hot. Way too hot.

“Ouch.” She says quietly, eyebrows furrowing together.

“Kid, you’ve gotta be more careful.” Dick says, passing her another cup. She glances at it wearily and he sighs. “It’s a glass of ice water. It’s gonna feel a lot better than the coffee right now.”

“But, coffee.” She says and Dick gives her a look.

“It’s not going to kill you to drink the water. Now eat up. B wants to get back on the road as soon as possible.” Dick instructs and she groans at the food he passes her.

“You are such a dad.” She mumbles, picking apart the weird hash brown patty he’d passed her, eating small pieces of it.

“I officially hate road trips.” Damian says in a matter-of-fact tone. Marinette glances at him sleepily and grins.

“Just wait til we get to Disney, petit oiseau. That’ll be your own personal hell.” She promises him, snorting at the look on his face. In fact, she doubted any of the family would actually enjoy Disneyworld, given the fact Mar’i and Starfire were off planet again. Well, she knew she would enjoy it. But she doubted her brothers or dad would. Selina would enjoy it, until someone inevitably pisses her off and she steals from them and then gets in a major fight with her dad and- yeah. This was definitely one of her dad’s worst plans ever.

---

Dick insists on taking a family picture at the first rest stop inside Florida. He’s grinning at the palm trees and dolphins painted on the ‘Welcome to Florida’ sign with so much excitement, Marinette almost starts to think that this plan wasn’t awful. Almost. Because three seconds later, Damian is charging at Jason with the katana that he had somehow managed to sneak into the car. Which should have been impossible. She purses her lips as she tries to figure it out, when she sees Kaalki and the wide smile on their face.

“Did you open a portal so that Damian could get his sword and attack Jason?” Marinette asks Kaalki tiredly. She was relieved that her dad had decided they would spend the rest of the day at the hotel (once they finally got there, they were still currently stuck at that stupid welcome sign) instead of trying to go to Disney today. She was exhausted, and right now, the Kwami was not helping.

“I only helped him. He’s so small, and he is your brother, you know.” Kaalki says and Marinette snorts.

“So is the one that he’s currently trying to kill, Kaalki. But okay, sure.” She says, rubbing her face tiredly. She did not have the energy to deal with this right now. She sighs as Jason yells, turning on her heel and rushing after Damian.

“Get the fuck away!” Jason screams at Damian.

“Damian, no, drop the sword! Damian, please!” Marinette yells, rushing after him.

“Todd insists that he’s bunking with me. If he’s dead, I don’t have to worry about that.” Damian calls back, continuing rushing towards Jason. Marinette groans, running faster after him. Apparently, he was excessively crabby when tired. Joy.

---

“Do you think I could get away with wearing these all the time?” Dick asks, pointing to the Toy Story themed ears on his head.

“Might make some aspects of life a little hard.” Marinette points out with a grin as she imagines him, in his Nightwing uniform, with Toy Story ears on.

“We’d definitely amuse more villains, that’s for damn sure.” Jason adds with a smirk.

“Like yours are much better.” Dick says with a pout, pointing at Jason’s bright red Lightning McQueen ears.

“At least I’m wearing one of the better Disney characters.” Jason counters, glancing at Tim. Tim just frowns at him, sleep deprivation clear on his face.

“Goofy is one of the original Disney characters, Jason, I will not be accepting criticism.” He says flatly. Marinette giggles.

“What’re you laughing at sparkles?” Tim asks, pointing at the sparkles and huge bow attached to her ears.

“Nothing. Nothing at all, Timmy.” She says with a grin. She glances down at her watch, wondering what’s taking her dad so long. “Mo-Selina, do you think Dad’s alright?” Marinette asks, barely catching herself. She hadn’t asked Selina, or her Dad, if it was okay to call her that. And she didn’t want to be the kid to ruin the vacation. She currently had money on Jason being the one to ruin things, and she didn’t want to self sabotage that bet.

“Oh definitely. He’s probably just having trouble finding the perfect ears. After all, animal ears aren’t really his thing.” Selina teases, giving Marinette’s shoulders a quick squeeze. She grins and leans into her, content as she stands there and watches the door waiting for- yup. That was her dad. Walking out of a store, in public, with Mickey Mouse ears on his head. Oh this is amazing.

“Nice ears, B.” Jason teases and Marinette giggles. Sure, his ears were the most basic out of everyone (just plain black) but it was still hilarious to see her usually serious dad with mouse ears on his head.

“Tt. I cannot believe that you insisted we all wear them.” Damian complains, but Marinette can tell he likes his ears, even if he won’t admit it. They were Stitch themed, which was Damian’s favorite Disney movie. Really, it was one of three that she’d found that he could tolerate.

“I think you all look adorable.” Selina teases, her ears, like Marinette’s, were on a headband rather than a hat. And Selina’s were white with a veil. Marinette adored them.

“Can we please go get some coffee at Friar Nook’s?” Tim asks, looking dead on his feet. She frowns, slightly worried. They’d only been at the park for half an hour and he was already ready to pass out?

“Did you not sleep at all last night?” She asks, her tone slightly teasing but still concerned for him.

“Blame Dick. He snored all. Night. Long.” Tim complains, sighing deeply. Marinette winces.

“Why don’t you switch with Jason? He can sleep through anything.” She suggests.

“Absolutely not.”

“I would rather chew off my own foot.” Tim and Damian speak at the same time, turning to glare at each other before huffing.

“Come on, let’s go do some rides or something.” Dad suggests, and Marinette agrees, trying her best to hype up her brothers. Even though she’d been wary of the trip, and she was still NOT looking forward to the trip back, she could tell her dad wanted this to go well. He was obviously trying to let them have once nice (normal) vacation together. So she was going to do her best to make sure the rest of the trip was as amazing as possible.

Next

Tag list:  @maribat-bdbwm @vixen-uchiha @stainedglassm @liquid-luck-00 @laurcad123 @waiting247 @jayjayspixiepop @mizzy-pop @jjmjjktth @trippingovermyfeet @queenz-z @thepaceperson @iloontjeboontje @toodaloo-kangaroo @ritacrow-blog @deathssilentapproach-blog @kittenmywaythrulife @nerd-nowandforever @tazanna-blythe @jaybird-and-co @jumpingjoy82 @lady-bee-fechin @corporeal-terrestrial

[iwishicanbeagoodpianist]

the Wifilcon and the Winter Router

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC/Reader Summary: When Bucky learns that his neighbor has been stealing his wifi for months. Warnings: None A/N: I'm not a fanfic writer at all, this, like all my stories, are adaptations to fanfics. My original stories are not written in english, so this is also a translation. please do not repost my work

For an instant, Bucky thought that the knocking he was hearing was coming directly from his head, I mean, it wouldn't be the first time his mind played tricks on him, but he realized that the sound was actually coming, unluckily for him, from his apartment door. Oh no no no no no no no, I just got back from putting up with Sam for almost 6 full weeks, I don't need interaction with more people for now.

Bucky thought for a minute to ignore the sound, to wait for the person to give up and leave, anyway he didn't spend many days on this apartment, almost no one had seen him leave or enter the building and he had no contact with the neighbors, only with the lady on the 7th floor who once lost one of her cats, which ended up in Bucky's apartment, accidentally. Not that I found the cat in the alley and actually brought him to my apartment, it doesn't mean that I stole the cat, he was in the street by himself, I rescued him.

When the banging on the door stopped and Bucky thought he could breathe calmly again, a voice between altered and annoyed was heard all the way to the living room where he was sitting trying to overcome his third panic attack and fourth existential crisis of the day .

-"I know you're in there! I saw you coming in a few hours ago! I've been waiting for days for you to come back!"-

More out of instinct than anything else, Bucky pulled out the knife hidden in his right boot as he slowly backed away from the door. Do I really have a spy as a neighbor? Should I call Sam? Is he in danger too? Never mind now, you need an escape route Bucky, concentrate, third floor, window to the alley, 2 minutes max, the bike is parked far away, I'll have to run, but to where, rendezvous point, safe place, think....

- "for God's sake, open the door, I need you to pay for your fucking internet plan, I'm in the last season of my series and I need to know if Carolina died or not!"-

- "The internet?"- Between the andrenaline from escaping and the shock of not understanding what was happening Bucky spoke louder than an assassin, with over 60 years of experience, should have spoken. Oh, shoot.

-"Yes! Your wifi, I need it to finish watching my series"-

Whispering "wifi" to himself, Bucky tries to remember where he has heard that word before, this is what I get for never listening to Sam when he talks to me. But before he can continue his mental analysis of all the conversations with Sam about such stupid things as his favorite American Football team, the New Orleans Saints, that I remember, to how Antonio could possibly leave María on the last episode of the 6 o'clock telenovela of which Sam is a fan, his apparent "neighbor" spoke up again:

-"Jesus Christ, can you open the door? So we can resolve this like adults"-

Bucky resigned to the fact that he has given his position to the "enemy", walks to the door and opens it waiting for his death. Well at least if I die I won't have to listen to Sam again talking about Antonio and María. But on the other side of the door, there was a woman, who in her pajamas, very unthreatening but cute, was watching him as if he were a ghost but still with defiance in her eyes, in one breath she introduced herself and continued her speech about her complaint to Bucky:

-"As I was saying, I need you to pay for your internet"-

-"I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I understand what you mean"- mumbled Bucky.

- "Good Lord"- To Bucky's surprise his neighbor, pushes him and enters his home, well not so much a home home, more like the headquarters of his secret club, of which he is the president, vice president and only member, the point is that it is his place, where he can (and wants to be alone), as she lives here. This must be a dream, maybe I hit my head too hard in the last mission and I am unconscious in the hospital.

Crossing the room, Bucky's unwanted visitor looks around searching for something while whispering the words "I see you are quite minimalist, but maybe this is too much, someone urgently needs to look for some inspiration on Pinterest". She stops abruptly in front of the shelf where, in theory, a TV should go, while shouting: "EUREKA", she bends down and picks up a white device which has two antennas and like a million little blinking lights, damn, that looks like something out of a spaceship, I'm being watched by aliens? I'm being spied on by Kree?

-"This is your router, this is where the internet signal comes from, which I need you to pay for so I can finish watching my series"-.

Bucky, still in shock for the third time in less than 15 minutes, as he processes the idea that perhaps Thanos' unknowing twin is spying on him for a second invasion of earth and revenge for his brother's death. He can only nod to his now more relaxed and happy neighbor.

-"Perfect, thanks! I need to check the food I left in the oven, I'll talk to you later"- and as quickly as she came she left through the same door, leaving Bucky with more doubts than answers, peeking down the hallway, he realizes that she is the neighbor who lives next door, to his right. When Bucky comes out of his initial stupor, still not fully understanding what is going on, he decides to take his cell phone out of his pocket and call his own personal Google to solve his doubts about this century: Sam Wilson.

-"Hey Buck! What's up?"-how does he always manage to sound so happy? focus Buck.

-"What the hell is a router and why do I have one in my house?"- somehow Bucky manages to formulate, although maybe his voice cracked a little on the last words.

-"That thing's been there for at least two months and you didn't even notice it? Have you even paid the bill?"-

-"You put this in here? Without telling me????"- maybe Sam is also a Kree? Who can I trust now? It's all a trap?

Listening to Bucky's accelerated breathing, Sam tries to explain to him slowly, that in this century life without internet is not life, but obviously as Bucky does not even know how to set the alarm on his own cell phone, he was in charge of buying the router and creating the contract with the company so that, the 106 year old man could have his personal network at home. He had given it the name but he had not given it a password so that Bucky himself could set it up later. "I am an excellent friend, I mean co-worker, if I may say so"

-"Sorry man, after all that happened, we got called for a mission and I forgot to tell you, do you have your laptop over there? I'll help you set up a password, so your neighbors won't steal your internet anymore"- and with that comment everything started to make sense in Bucky's slightly screwed up but functional mind about the events with his seemingly non-spy and harmless neighbor.

Meanwhile Bucky was trying to remember his own password to unlock the laptop in front of him, also courtesy of Sam. "Bucky, when you learn about online banking and that you can pay your rent, electricity, phone and everything with a click of your computer, you will thank me". It should be noted that Bucky hasn't used that laptop once, like a good 100 year old grandpa he goes to the bank to make his deposits and pay his debts, which obviously consisted only of electricity, water, gas and phone because the man had no idea that there was a device in his house that spit out internet, apparently only his next door neighbor knew this. Buck tells Sam how he thought his router was an alien device and how he thought his neighbor was a KGB agent coming to kill him. "Relax Buck we all have undesirable neighbors that steal our internet signal sometimes", well undesirable is not the word I would use to describe her but ok.

When Sam finally explains to him how to connect his computer to the internet, Bucky can finally see the name that his wonderful co-worker, not friend, because he could never be friends with someone so stupid as to think that the name "THE WIFILCON AND THE WINTER ROUTER" was a good name.

- "my god Sam, you're such an asshole!"-

-"HEY! That's a great name!"- Sam responds with as much indignation as possible, he's the best at naming everything from dogs to wifis.

- "I can't believe you're Captain America, I can't believe we're even friends"- Bucky really can't understand his luck to have friends, well, co-workers whatever.

- "Well excuse me but we're co-workers..."-

- "Well, take this call as my formal resignation, bye"-

-"Wait a minute Buck..."- Bucky ended the call, to finish -his self-imposed- punishment of listening to Sam Wilson talk for over an hour. At least I asked him how to use the bank's website to pay for the internet. Suddenly, without warning and without explanation, the memory of his neighbor is lodged in his head, her hair in a ponytail, her reading glasses, pink shorts, her sweater from some university of which he can't even remember the name because he was watching out for other things... that she wouldn't kill me obviously, he was watching out that she wouldn't pull a knife out of her back and kill me right there. The message on his laptop indicating that he can now set a new name and password to his wifi distracts him enough to stop thinking about his sweet and cute non-spy neighbor and how she would look with her hair down and her glasses off.

Still with the sweet feeling in his chest and the desire to see her again he writes as the new name of the wifi, while laughing:

"If you want free internet, you owe me at least one free dinner"

After paying the internet debt and closing the laptop, Bucky gets up hoping to find something edible in the kitchen, while leaning over to look inside his fridge and analyzing how bad it would be to eat a fried egg with pasta and sriracha, he hears again a knock on the door, but this time it does not cause Bucky the anguish and anxiety that caused him the first time, but quite the opposite.

-"Open the door Winter Router! I prepared chicken pot pie for dinner"-.

[hartigays]

Rafebarry Prompt for you! So what about some of Barry’s pals being over at the trailer and they’re all just like “Damn Bro” at seeing Rafe (who’s just living his best chaotic life, being Barry’s housewife/partner in crime) and Barry’s just all smug about it like “Yeah. I’m hittin’ that. Be jealous.”

tw: mature themes (drug use, sexual implications) and some homophobic language (just a comment from some loser tho)

rafe’s bike tears through swampy grass and dirt with a vengeance as he pulls into barry’s front yard, leaving tire marks in his wake.

when he pulls off his helmet, the first thing he sees are people spilling in and out of the trailer. people rafe doesn’t recognize - some of them attractive, even.

which is… infuriating, to put it lightly.

barry clearly hadn’t felt the need to keep rafe in the loop, inviting him over without informing him that half of the cut would be in attendance as well.

like, seriously, what the fuck? rafe had thought - well. he’d intended to come here to pick up some blow, and maybe, possibly, perhaps let barry have his way with him while he’s at it.

barry can’t have his way with him if half the population of north carolina is stacked up inside the trailer. and that’s just. frustrating.

rafe kind of wants to drive his bike straight through the trailer, mowing some partygoers down and end this whole shebang right here and now. but, as barry has made explicitly clear time and time again, rafe is Not Allowed to harm and/or kill people on his property.

it’s sometimes irritating, this whole thing they’ve started. this casual fling that’s maybe not-so-casual anymore considering rafe agreed to be exclusive with barry not even two days ago.

there are just. so many rules, like no maiming, or killing, or… actually, that’s about it. but that’s two rules too many. rafe doesn’t like rules, or being told what he can or can’t do.

barry is just lucky rafe likes him. kind of. sort of. somewhat.

otherwise, barry would be drifting along the bottom of the ocean somewhere, flesh being nibbled away at by fish and sharks and the like.

rafe flings his helmet towards his bike, not bothering to see if it landed anywhere convenient, before storming across the yard and shoving himself through a cluster of people to get inside the trailer.

barry is sitting on the couch, all sorts of people surrounding him, looking like he’s already fucked up beyond belief.

which is also annoying, because he was supposed to get fucked up beyond belief with rafe, then mandhandle rafe into bed to have his wicked way with him. like always.

“ayy, country club!” barry practically shouts over the noice, his accent even thicker and more drawn out than usual. “you made it!”

“yeah, barry, i made it,” rafe snaps, then sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

look, he’s not against parties or anything. actually, he’s quite in favor of them. he just… did not plan for his day to go like this.

rafe wanted barry’s full attention, which is now virtually impossible given the amount of bodies that are currently filling the room.

barry just looks at rafe with glazed eyes, leaning back casually against the couch cushions. “aw, don’t you go pouting on me ‘n shit, rafe cameron. ain’t you always down for a party or some shit like that?”

“a little heads up would’ve been nice,” rafe tells him, his temper rearing it’s ugly head again and bleeding into his voice. “look, can i just get my shit so i can get out of here?”

rafe moves around the coffee table, elbowing a few drunk idiots out of his way as he does. barry eyes him as he comes closer, before suddenly swinging one arm out and wrapping it around rafe’s waist. he ropes rafe in close enough that rafe stumbles a bit over barry’s feet, sprawling right into his lap.

“see, ain’t that more like it, country club?” barry purrs, his lips pressed against rafe’s ear.

rafe feels a shiver rocket down his spine, but also a flare of anxiety.

barry is certainly fucked up beyond comprehension, and they haven’t exactly talked about making their relationship public. rafe has no idea if this is something barry will regret in the morning and end up cutting rafe off.

but to be fair, if barry did wake up and decide to tell rafe to fuck off, rafe would probably just kill him. he might just kill him anyway, just because he feels like it.

and since barry’s inevitable death is hurtling towards them at breakneck speed, rafe might as well enjoy barry’s final moments while he can.

so he lets barry kiss him, full on the mouth, on display for the hundred or so other people milling about the room.

rafe, regrettably, makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat when he feels barry’s tongue dip into his mouth, sweeping across his own.

regrettably, because some fucking weird ass next to barry leans in close to watch. rafe can see the movement out of the corner of his eye.

but barry isn’t deterred. he might be a little encouraged, even, because he deepens the kiss even more, pressing in so close that rafe feels like they could crawl inside of each other and form one cohesive nightmare of a person.

“ain’t peg you for a fag, barry,” the guy comments, his words slurring. he burps after he speaks, and barry detaches his lips from rafe to look over at the source of the noise.

“the fuck you just say to me?” barry snaps, digging his fingers into rafe’s hips to keep him in place when rafe moves to get up, ready to just slit this guy’s throat and be done with it. “ain’t you in my damn house, fuckass? who the fuck you think you’re talkin’ to?”

“hey, man, didn’t mean no offense,” the guy says, raising his hands in mock surrender before burping again. “jus’ askin’.”

“getcho’ dumbass out my house, bro,” barry tells him, removing one hand from rafe’s hips for only a moment, just to shove the guy out of his seat.

the still nameless man just shrugs, gulping down the remnants of his beer before getting up and disappearing into the crowd.

“i think you guys are cute,” a girl giggles from where she’s seated, across from the couch rafe and barry are currently planted on.

barry looks up at rafe, and it’s almost fond and god, that’s disgusting. rafe wants to soak himself in it, let it marinate until it’s deeply ingrained in every fiber of his being.

“sho’ are,” barry agrees with her, still looking up at rafe. he’s got one hand beneath rafe’s shirt now, nails raking over his back.

rafe shudders, wishing he could dissolve every person in this room right this very moment so he can curl up inside barry and make a home there.

“gotta say, ‘m a little jealous, man,” some other guy pipes up from barry’s other side.

rafe looks over at him, one brow arched, finding the guy staring right back as he hits some sort of pipe.

probably filled with meth, based on the state of the guy’s teeth.

classy.

“guess you just gon’ have to be jealous, then,” barry tosses back, not bothering to spare the guy a glance before returning his mouth to rafe’s.

the party comes and goes, faster than rafe anticipated, but that maybe can be attributed to the fact that barry keeps rafe glued to him at all times, practically devouring him every chance he can get, and showing him off to every person who happens to look their way.

rafe will admit, it’s a little satisfying, knowing how proud barry is to have staked his claim. he’s surprised that he’s so okay with barry being so possessive of him, too.

rafe cameron normally does not like the idea of being owned by anyone or anything. at least, he hadn’t up until now.

at this point, he’s pretty sure he’d let barry put a dog collar on him that reads property of barry the coke dealer, without complaint.

now, lounging in barry’s bed, sweat-soaked and panting, rafe sparks a blunt. he takes a long hit and passes it to barry.

“you did this on purpose,” rafe says, knowingly.

barry just grins up at the ceiling like a shark, shrugging as he hits the blunt.

“you’re pretty, rafe cameron. and you’re mine,” barry tells him, passing the weed back. “what’s it hurt to show off a little? you ain’t die or nothing.”

“never said it was a bad thing,” rafe snorts. “just maybe give me a little warning next time you plan to parade me around as your trophy wife.”

“like you ain’t get off on all them people talking ‘bout how jealous they are that i get to have you.”

barry has a point, rafe will admit. not out loud, mind you, but still. in the quiet of his mind, where no one else can hear, he agrees with barry wholeheartedly.

“can you blame them? i mean, look at me,” rafe says with a snooty little sniff, running a hand along his jaw. “you landed yourself a masterpiece. people are gonna notice.”

“you so damn full of yourself, country club,” barry snorts. “imma have to knock that ego down a peg. i been too nice to you.”

“says the guy whose ego grew ten times larger just by being a show-off about his boyfriend.”

barry rolls over onto his side, watching rafe hit the blunt with heavily-lidded eyes. “boyfriend, huh? ain’t we a bit old for that?”

“you literally called me your boyfriend like, fifty times today. do not even- ”

barry shuts him up mid-sentence by taking the blunt from rafe’s hand and putting it out on the ashtray next to the bed, tangling his fingers in rafe’s hair, and pulling him in for a kiss that’s all tongues and teeth.

rafe wanted to finish his sentence, had planned on finishing it, but barry doesn’t give him the chance. not with the way he’s kissing him right now.

within a matter of moments, rafe forgets what he was planning to say in the first place. but whatever, he’s fucking tired, barry feels good and smells good and tastes good. so what if he’s a trophy wife, so what if he may or may not get off on people being jealous that barry gets to date him. to own him.

it’s all arbitrary.

instead of figuring out what he was going to say, rafe breaks away from barry’s lips, fastening his mouth to barry’s neck and biting down.

his teeth sink in deep, and he hopes with everything he has left in him that it leaves a scar.

[futurebicon]

Carolina

Marine Biologist AU that no one asked for but I wrote because I miss my second home. Probably two parts.

Very brief mention of a family members death

"Hi welcome to-" Leo stopped his normal speech when he was met with the two most gorgeous men he had ever laid eyes on. "Welcome to the Fort Fisher aquarium. I'm your tour guide Leo and this is Regulus." He somehow managed to snap out of his shock even though the greeting was all muscle memory.

“Two guides. Must be special." The red haired one laughed a laugh that made doves fly. "I'm Finn." He shook their hands.

"That and both of us wanted a break from sticky children trying to swim with the sharks and gators." Reg smiled.

"Sharks? Like ocean sharks? And ocean alligators?" The shorter one asked in shock and a lot more than a sprinkle of fear.

'Fuck he's adorable' Leo swore internally. "Alligators are typically fresh water reptiles but if you are asking if they are real sharks and alligators, than no. They're they’re hyperealalistic mechanical sculptures." He kept a straight face.

"Cute and funny." Finn flashed him a smile after another angelic laugh.

Leo had to remind himself to not die right then and there.

“Don't worry, Logan" Finn told the other one. "I'll protect you from the scary teeth, baby."

Now Leo was sad.

“Oh yeah, right after you stop ogling over our hot tour guide."

Now Leo was slightly less sad and confused.

“Actually." Regulus pulled out his phone. "Our manager just texted and said he needs someone in the gift shop. Have fun." He left with a pat on Leos back.

Leo glared as he walked away, they didn't get texts from anyone for any assignment. Hence the walkie talkies on their belt loops.

“So, follow me and we can start the tour." +++

“This is our 235,000 gallon tank." Leo stood over top of the two story tall tank. In here we have our eagle rays, round stingrays, whiptail stingrays, hammerhead sharks, sandbar sharks, sand tiger sharks, hammerhead sharks. We also have two moray eels and an abundance of fish including shanks and groupers. And a personal favorite, Sheldon the green sea turtle.” Leo stood on the rusted grate with ease as if he didn’t care about the hammerhead only a few feet away from his toes.

“Um, this is great and all but can we not stand on the edge without a railing?” Logan stayed as far away as he could an the 2 feet wide walkway.

“You’re completely safe don’t worry.” Leo flashed a reassuring smile.

“Okay yeah but-”

“Stop being a baby, Lo.” Finn poked his side.

“I’m sorry I’m scared of falling into a 23 foot deep death cylinder filled with sharks.” Logan defended himself.

“Alright we can go officially start the tour.” Leo laughed. “But we do have to walk across the tank.”

“We what?” Logan asked.

“It’s okay. Just don’t look down.” He decided to risk a wink.

“Listen to the hot guide, babe.” Finn kissed Logan’s cheek. “I’ll hold your hand.”

“I love you, Harzy. But I do not trust you enough to not try and scare me.”

“I promi- no I don’t. Fine.” Finn whined when his plans were spoiled.

“Alright, let’s go.” Leo laughed.

They got across the walkway with only a few exaggerated wobbles to scare Logan. And a very grumpy Logan when Leo told him there was another way around the tank.

+++

“So here we have our bald eagle Maverick.” Leo walked up to the opened enclosure. “He’s five years old and has been here since he was two. He was found on the side of the road nearly starved after being hit by a car. If you look at his left wing you can see it juts out a little. That is due to the bones fusing together incorrectly and it makes him unable to ever fly again.” He recited the well known script.

“Poor baby” Finn stuck his bottom lip out.

Leo blinked away the urge to kiss the sad look off his face.

“If we walk up here you can see the aquariums prized possession.” Leo smiled. “Luna the albino Alligator.”

“Oh my god.” Finn hurried over to the glass.

“She looks like you, lover. Pale as fuck.” Logan teased.

“Luna is one of just 100 recorded albino alligators world wide.”

“World wide?” Logan asked in shock.

“Yeah. It’s an extremely rare genetic mutation and due to the inability to hide from predators they’re numbers are next to zero. Very soon they’ll be no more albino gators.”

“What happened to that alligators toes?” Logan pointed at the dark green alligator.

“That’s Gantur. He still hasn’t learn that Luna’s the leader.”

“She bit them off?” Logan’s eyes went wide.

“Don’t underestimate her. Ready to continue?”

+++

“This is my favorite exhibit.” Leo’s face lit up as they walked up to the touch pool.

“Touch anything as long as you use two fingers and don’t pick anything up.”

“Are those stingrays?” Finn pointed towards the end of the touch pool.

“Yeah. They’re still babies and their stingers have been trimmed. Their barbs are like thumbnails and can be clipped monthly without any harm.”

“What are those?”

Leo’s face lit up impossibly more.

“These are horseshoe crabs.” He held onto one of the dark greenish brown banjo shaped creature.

“They are also called living fossils due to the fact that they haven’t evolved at all since the dinosaurs, around 450 million years. It’s mostly due to the fact that they didn’t need anything added or taken away for survival. They were made perfectly. Now their tails.” He pointed to the long stick like end as it moved around with the help of what looked like scaley gills. “Most people look at it and think it will hurt. But it won’t hurt at all. They are extremely, extremely clumsy and use the long tail to flip themselves back over.”

“Sounds like you.” Finn kissed Logan.

“Rude.” Logan scoffed.

“Horseshoe crabs aren’t actually crabs at all. They’re actually more closely related to scorpions and spiders. Watch.” Leo smirked and flipped it over.

There were five pairs of claws moving around as the gills moved up and down like abs, causing the tail to move with it.

“Here-” Leo grabbed Logan’s hand, he tried hard to ignore the way his skin burned. “Touch it.”

“Oh no I’m okay to just look.”

“Come on, just touch it.” Leo begged. “Please just touch it.” He pouted.

“Oh my fuck you’re adorable.” Logan voiced Leo’s exact same thoughts from before.

“Here” he blushed and bit his lib to contain the smile. “Touch it.” He guided Logan’s hand down to the center of the legs, desperately trying to not think about how close they were. Logan’s t-shirt touching his blue polo shirt with his name stitched in the side. The way he could feel Logan’s breathing against his side, the way his leg was pressed between Logans le- stop it.

“Eww that feels weird” Logan’s laughed raised goosebumps on his arm.

“You’re touch his mouth.”

“Ew ew ew ew” Logan pulled his hand away quickly as Finn cackled.

“You asshole” Logan laughed as he pushed Leo lightly.

“Sorry, but it’s funny.” Leo laughed.

“You are now my second favorite person on earth.” Finn put a hand on Leo’s shoulder. “Oh my god I’m crying.” He wiped his eyes.

“Wouldn’t mind if he stayed our favorite.” Logan smiled.

Leo blushed and moved onto the regular view of the huge tank.

+++

“So how’d you get a job here?” Logan asked Leo as they walked around.

“I’ve lived on the island my whole life and started volunteering here when I was 13.” He explained. “I’m going to UNCW for marine biology. Are you two just here for vacation? Even though it’s April.”

“No. We’re actually moving down here. My grandparents owned the arcade on the boardwalk and left it to me once they passed.” Finn told him.

“Oh. I’m sorry about their passing.”

“It’s okay. Didn’t really know them at all.”

“Well I’ll hopefully see you around.”

“Maybe you don’t have to hope.”

Leo tilted his head in confusion.

“We were just wondering if you would want to show us around the island.” Logan told him. “We’ve only been here for a few days and this is the first place we’ve been to. Not even the beach.”

“Oh that’s nearly a sin.” Leo teased. “I’d love to show you guys around. I get off in an hour.”

“Perfect.” Finn said happily. “Do you want to drive over to our house and then switch cars or do you need to change?”

“That’ll work. There’s a locker room and since there’s next to no one here considering the time of year Evan will probably let me leave early.” Leo couldn’t hide his smile as they walked into the brightly lit gift shop.

Logan let out a loud gasp and ran over to the 6 foot long jellyfish stuffie. “I want it.”

“It’s tentacles are going to strangle you, love.” Finn shook his head.

“Kinky” Logan wiggled his eyebrows.

Finn scoffed as three other people in the quiet store laughed.

“Oh hi again Regulus.” Logan smiled at the black haired man who was sitting on the countertop beside the register tossing a brightly colored foam ball with turtles on it between his hands.

“Hey” He smiled back.

“What’d they need help with down here?” Finn looked around the empty room cluelessly.

“He didn’t help me?” The girl beside him raised an eyebrow. “Hi, Rue by the way.” She waved before going back to glaring at Regulus. “Did Evan tell you to help me?”

“No.” Reg smirked. “Just wanted to leave Leo alone with his crushes.”

“Reg” Leo pushed him.

“It’s mutual.” Finn said and Logan nodded.

“Okay. I’m gonna go ask Evan if I can get off early so I can show you a tour of the island and then get changed and I’ll be back down.” Leo changed the subject quickly.

“They’ll show you a tour of their bedroom and then get you off early.” Rue said quietly but not quiet enough. Leo shoved her hard as Logan, Finn, and Reg cackled.

+++

“So are we ready?” Leo walked back down in shorts and a UNCW t-shirt.

A cropped UNCW t-shirt.

“Uh- yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah.” Finn stuttered failing to make it look like he wasn’t staring at Leo’s tan abs.

Finn on the other hand had no shame. His eyes raked his entire body as his mouth went dry.

“Alright. I’ll follow you guys?”

“Huh? Oh yeah.” Logan nodded.

“Get it Knut.” Reg cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted as they left the gift shop and headed outside to the 100 degree weather.

@lumosinlove

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 15x18 “Despair”

WOW TODAY SURE IS A DAY, HUH

-

04:40pm

Y’ALL

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS

I KNOW WHAT’S COMING

BUT AM I PREPARED?

my post leading up to this: https://almaasi.tumblr.com/post/634003656411381760/i-have-seen-the-spn-spoilers-okay-okay-okay

i found a faster torrent and there are 7 minutes until it’s done I’M GONNA GO WANDER AROUND FOR A BIT BRB

-

04:51pm

window is blacked out

i am as ready as i can be, i think

-

04:52

HERE WE GO

-

omg so much has happened irl i fully forgot what happened at the end of the last ep so THANK U RECAP

-

BILLIE JUST

BOMBED THE EMPTY

WITH JACK

:0

-

05:00

just as i was thinking “aaah billie’s probably lying, jack’s capital D Dead” THERE’S JACK

-

JACK’S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-

05:05pm

nice shot

-

05:07

CHARLIE’S PARTNER IS GORGEOUS AND THIS IS SO HAPPY

they better both make it to the end and out the other side or istg

-

OH NO WHERE DID BABE GO

-

babe is named stevie

BRIng STEVIE BACK

-

05:09

THIS PLACE IS CALLED KIM MANOR

-

we’re like 1/3 of the way into this episode?? damn

-

cas and jack hanging out on the hood of the impala like the brothers did all those years ago

good family talk spot

-

05:13

high quality face

-

05:15

cas: WE DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE USEFUL OR--

cas baby yesssssssssssssssssssssss

these are the words cas can say because he knows them for himself

-

05:19

THE DOTS ON SAM’S PHONE CHAT WITH EILEEN

DISAPPEARING

OH...................

-

05:26

DONNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

oh i wish we’d had more donna and jody :/

-

05:29

dean’s gonna lose cas and then it’s gonna be the sam+charlie+dean “i just lost my lover” club :c

-

05:34

just thinkin about the ending of the final episode

the only two endings i really want are:

everyone we love is somehow alive and they drive into the sunset

they all die but wake up in heaven and there’ll be peace when you are done

or some combination thereof

-

05:37

billie: i didn’t hurt your friends

yeah i thought not

-

bobby vanishes and my eyes flood with tears

that last look between him and sam........

-

wait when was donna from another universe??? or did she die at some point

WOW I’VE FORGOTTEN A LOT

-

05:42

dean: “what do we do, ca--- my heart”

.......

yep

i’m not ready for whatever’s about to happen

-

I’M SO !!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE THE FACT THEY JUST WON’T DIE

AND THEY ALWAYS COME BACK

IS THE SEMI-BOSS FIGHT

I’M LOVING THIS

EVEN THOUGH I HATE IT

-

05:46

this sure is a screenshot huh

-

05:49

/mutes discord bc this needs all of my attention

-

05:51

cas’ eyes are starting to tear up and he’s smiling as he starts to talk and ohhhhhhhhh here it comes

-

05:53

there’s.

literally.

a wall.

between them.

talk about SYMBOLISM

-

jensen’s pupils are so wide right now holy shit

-

“you are the most caring man on earth”

dean looking at these words like it’s news to him

;~;

cas

thank you for saying these things we’ve all been yelling at the screen for years

-

05:58

DEAN HAS CAS’ BLOODY HANDPRINT ON HIS JACKET

........i can’t let myself believe that was it

THERE WILL BE MORE

SURELY

like

in no conceivable world do the writers get this far, give us THAT, and have it never be mentioned again or properly resolved

hello yes i’m waiting for the magic ritual where cas’ bloody handprint plays a part

-

06:02

yeah i mean

if they saved the whole world multiple times over

everyone’s gotta go

-

oh dean................. oh no

-

GOD

THAT REALLY WAS SOMETHING HUH

i feel like my full reaction is reserved 

because this was half a story. this was one-sided and it was just cas’ monologue. dean has things to say

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT OVER

i know people (misha??) has said it’s a permadeath but i do not believe that, and i don’t believe anything anyone says about what’s coming tbh

i got an anon in my inbox a few weeks ago who correctly predicted this, saying they knew someone on set, but like......... the real ending would be top secret and anything that gets out would not end up in the inbox of some fic author along with a bad vibe. (i didn’t answer it, not wanting to stir up shit.)

that anon said cas isn’t in the last two episodes. except that can’t possibly be true because we, the audience, can see people in the empty, and cas still needs to yell at the empty, and death is in there too... and the empty just wants to sleep so we need to see that too, and cas would be there.

THERE’S MORE TO COME, KIDS

two episodes left

i’m wary of the next one because it’s the deadly duo writing, but they seem to be okayish these days so maybe it’ll be fine

but the finale..... fingers crossed <3

fingers also crossed for a blue georgia, north carolina, and pennsylvania <3

/goes back to cnn livestream because I WANNA WATCH WHEN GEORGIA FLIPS

also. back to spn for a sec. i’m a leeeeeeetle bit mad that the gay black woman disappears first. like i know everyone died but. haven’t we had enough of that??

10/10 even so BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN BETTER

eh. this show is what it is, and i just gotta accept that, BUT ALSO I THINK WE’RE GENUINELY GETTING SOMEWHERE WITH DEAN AND CAS HERE

but only so long as this actually has a conclusion

which it must do

because this is very much an emotional cliffhanger. cas just emotion-dumped and then fucked off so dEAN’S GOTTA PROCESS AND THEN CHASE HIM

OBVIOUSLY

BECAUSE THAT’S HOW LOVE STORIES WORK

we didn’t watch 15 years of this thing only to be given half of what we wanted in the closing moments, and then get left left high and dry. the writers/producers are clearly willing to give us canon love confessions, and they're not gonna get as far as this, with a finale as tense and dramatic as this, and be like lol dean's straight and only likes cas as a friend........... after he’s dead and died for the joy of their love........... that's beyond madness

and dean needs to SPEAK. there are so many things he’d never said. and he needs to say them to cas. he was basically silent in this conversation and you can’t just say that’s their ending. it’s not their ending.

AND LIKE

IF THIS SHOW AND THIS FINALE AND THIS SEASON HAS PROVED ANYTHING

IT’S THAT NOBODY STAYS DEAD

AND WHATEVER THE WRITER INTENDS, THE CHARACTERS HAVE THEIR OWN DESIRES AND DRIVES

AND FOR THAT REASON, GAY LOVE WILL PIERCE THROUGH THE VEIL OF DEATH AND SAVE THE DAY

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #310

“i get pretty just to fuck my face up.”

Do you have a clock in your room? No. What book, movie, TV show, or video game have you been wanting to start up? I *want* to read The Testaments by Margaret Atwood, but I care more about reading Wings of Fire, so I probably realistically won't for a long time. I don't read enough for that; Sutherland will surely keep pumping out books in the series so I'll never catch up, haha. As for a movie, I've been interested in seeing Jacob's Ladder for a very long time; it served as a very large influence on the Silent Hill series, and boy, anyone who brings up video games in front of me knows SH is my SHIT. I also just know I'm bound to like it with how essentially legendary it is in the psychological horror genre, which is my favorite. Onto TV show, I'm not certain. Shows don't really interest me. I would like to keep watching A:TLA w/ Sara, but "start up" implies beginning something new, so. Lastly, video games. There are a LOT of games I want to play, but yeah, I have no operational gaming console above a PS2. I'm dyinnnngggggg to play a ton of PS4 remasters (namely the original Spyro the Dragon trilogy and SoTC), but as for a fresh game I've never experienced, Ico, which is from the same producers of Shadow of the Colossus. It's an old game, and Mom's bought it off of Ebay for me twice, but neither disc worked - they froze only minutes into the game. It's hella expensive in new condition though because of its age... so who knows when I'll actually get to play it. Do you put anything else on your grilled cheese sandwiches? Just butter. Have you ever read a book in a different language? I've read some simple fairy tales as well as the play Faust in German courses. Do you want to go to the Harry Potter theme park at Universal? I have no connection with the franchise, but I mean, I'd go if you're paying, haha. If you had a secret room in your house, how would you decorate it? I'm trying to think what kind of room I'd keep a secret... Ha, actually, IF my love of tarantulas expands so largely to having dozens (which I doubt, but I acknowledge the possibility once I get my own place), a room kept on the down low to others just for them would be pretty cool. Imagine someone not knowing they're sharing a house with like, a hundred Ts, haha. As for actual decor, I'm unsure. I'd definitely keep it generally dark for them as nocturnal creatures, maybe with some Halloween decorations, like lots of fake webbing and neon green or orange lights. Man... that sounds dope. What did you get your dad for his last birthday? I couldn't buy him anything, nor did I actually make anything since I didn't know what to create. I just told him happy birthday, of course. Do any of your relatives live in another country? No. Are you claustrophobic? In some spaces, yes. Ever seen Blair Witch? Without spoilers, you know "that part" near the end? Yeah, if you've seen it, you know. That would be a fucking NIGHTMARE for me. Even watching it made me squirm. When grocery shopping, do you usually buy brand names or store brand? With most items anyway, we just get the store brand bc we cheap. Around what time do you usually eat dinner? Generally between 5:30-6:30 nowadays. Do you have any clothing that you get dry cleaned? No. Do you like foods with coconut in it? Eugh, not a coconut fan. I don't hate it as much as I used to, but I still don't like it. Have you ever researched your family history? No, but some past relative researched our family tree. Have you ever had surgery that kept you in the hospital for over a day? No. Do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked? I hate carrots. Did you play with Legos as a kid? Nah, I was more into Lincoln Logs. Which bothers you more… spelling mistakes or bad grammar? It really depends on the severity and simplicity of the spelling or grammar rule. Grammatical misuse of "there/their/they're" stand out very strongly to me, though. Have you ever bought anything off of eBay? Yeah, a good number of things. Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? I have a scizophrenic half-sister that I've never met, so I couldn't tell you. How organized is your mind? How do you know it's organized/disorganized? My mind is running Windows '98 with multiple windows and even more tabs open, all of them not responding. :^) Why do you follow the religion that you do? I don't follow one. My personal religious journey was a train wreck liberating to jump off of. Do you feel superior to others because you're that religion? I don't care if you're atheist, Christian, Buddhist, Islamic, whatever - you are by no means superior to another person in any way just because you believe different things happen once you die. If you do, it's time for some introspection. Are you a blind believer, or do you frequently challenge your own beliefs? Seeing as I went from Catholic to Christian to briefly Neo-Pagan-ish to what I am now, just believing there's some higher power/knowledge and some form of sentience after death, I obviously challenge them. What's the greatest thing about science? Life itself. This universe, this planet, your state of just knowing is a product of science, and that's pretty damn beautiful. Are you emotional or very stolid? I know I'm too emotional. I'm trying to get better about it. Do your siblings look like you? To a degree, but not NEARLY as much as they look like each other. Ashley and Nicole have been mistaken multiple times in their lives and even asked if they're twins. How many states have you lived in? Just this shitty one. How many states have you traveled through/vacationed in? Traveled through, a whole lot. Up and down the east coast. I've stayed in New York, Florida, Ohio, Illinois, South Carolina briefly, and I think possibly Michigan as a baby. Which state was/is your favorite? I don't know. Not NC, haha. You have two weeks alone in any place in the world; where would you go? Alone? Um... I dunno. I'd get lonely through two weeks in absolute isolation. How old were you when you first moved out of your parents' home? I want to say I was 18 when I briefly "moved in" with Jason and our roommates. Did you ever have to move back in? Yeah; the apartment didn't last very long. None of us were ready. How old were you when you thought you were "in love" for the first time? I was in love at 16. I'd fight God literally for eternity to prove that fact. How many exterior doors are in your home? Two, or maybe three, depending on your outlook. We have like this deck in the back with a roof and mesh separating you from the outside, and then you properly go into the yard from the door beyond that. How many cars have you owned? I myself, none. How many email accounts do you have? Ummmm my very first one I misspelled, so I didn't use it long before making a new one with the correct spelling, then later I had no choice but to make a Gmail to use YouTube, and I know I've had at least one email specifically for school. I'm probably forgetting some other oldies I used for small things. What was the last movie you watched alone? The Shining. What (if any) one television program do you watch religiously every day/week? None. What (if any) is your favorite sport? Dance. Scoff at that shit and then try one dance session and tell me it's not one. What is your favorite musical? None. Have you ever seen a live opera production? No. Dressing up for an evening out: Pants or skirt? Pants. I don't show my legs. What do you currently hear right now? I'm listening to Dance With the Dead's "The Man Who Made a Monster." I LOVE the aesthetic of synthwave and rock mixed together, but the only problem I have with this song is that it's very repetitive. Still stuck in my head though, haha. What type of survey do you refuse to take? I'm not into bolding surveys, specifically. Do you like to run? bitch fuck no Do you think you could run the mile in 10 minutes? Zero chance. What was the longest movie you watched? Hm, I don't remember... It's faintly there in my head, I just can't identify it... Have you ever been to a job interview? Well yeah. Who was the last person to call you? My psychiatrist. Now that I'm doing the partial hospitalization program again, he calls once a week. When was the last time you talked to your last ex boyfriend? Uhhh I think around the start of this month? Missed him and felt like chatting for a bit. Is your dog mixed or full? I don't have a dog, buuuut... we're getting one soon! I'm quite sure she's a mutt. What was the last thing you and your mother did together? Rode to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. Do you take good pictures? I like to think so. What is your display picture on myspace/facebook right now? The most recent selfie I took and liked. I'm finally comfortable using makeupless photos as a display picture. :') Not that I like my body by any means, I just don't care enough to feel like I HAVE to wear makeup to be even remotely pretty in the face. As for everywhere else... ahahaha. What is going on outside right now? It's raining. Like it has been for what feels like literally weeks - and it might actually have been. There's been one or two sunny days in a huge streak of just nothing but rain. It's so gross outside by now; we've been under a flood warning for days on end. Who was the last person you kissed? My best friend, but we were dating then. What color looks the best on you? Black. Have you ever bought the wrong size because you were too lazy to check it? Oh, absolutely. I LOATHE trying on clothes. You have to essentially drag me to go do it. I don't have a good reason other than I don't want to, lol. What was the last thing you bought over 5 dollars? I put down the deposit on my tattoo. c: Do you have any mag subscriptions? No. What is something you're not scared of but a lot of people are? Snakes are probably the highest on the list. I adore snakes, all snakes. Would you ever have a threesome? No; I'm strictly monogamous and to me would be cheating even if your partner was in on it. Are you an U.S. citizen? Yep. Do you have any step siblings? I have a stepbrother, yeah, but I don't see him as my brother, honestly. He's a very quiet and reclusive guy I've had almost no conversations with, and they've only ever been short. Do they annoy you? Nah, he's fine. How many times a day do you talk to your mom on the phone? Well, we live together... What did you wear yesterday? The same pjs I'm in now. I'm changing when I take a shower later. The tank top is a Day of the Dead-esque skull pattern, while the pants are mostly navy with skulls and candy can crossbones that say "nice until proven naughty" arching over and beneath them. They were a Christmas gift from my sis and are really soft and comfortable. Really don't care that it's now out of season, I wear them anyway. I do not match colors AT ALL, but again, I don't care. What color straightener do you have? We don't have one; neither Mom or I use one. Do you listen to music really loud or really low? Turn that shit up LOUD. I'll be nearly deaf one day, but... worth it? lol Do you live with anybody other than your siblings and your parents? No. Both my sisters have moved out. I'm still here because I'm just not emotionally or financially equipped to live on my own yet. Who was your last crush? I still like my best friend, but agree with her that right now isn't the time for anything. How many tattoos do you have? Currently only six. :( What is your favorite thing to do? Car rides with Mom while I ride passenger, controlling the music nice and loud with my iPod. It's odd, considering I'm very afraid of being on the road, but it's just such a freeing, wild feeling to blare music and just go, letting your mind wander. How many pets do you own? I only have a cat and a snake right now, but we're getting a dog hopefully very soon, preferably today actually when Mom has to go to the appropriate city for her normal check-up to keep her cancer at bay. Her name is Vanna and sounds so perfect for us. Mom can barely wait. Are you close with your parents? Yes, very, Mom especially. Where do you shop the most for your clothes? Hot Topic or Wal-Mart. I'd really like more stuff from Rebel's Market; they have such a wide range of stuff that just scream my aesthetic. I got my purse from there, and it's fantastic quality and so cool-looking. Have you ever read a whole series of books? Well, one trilogy that I remember: Shiloh. I adored those books and the movies. I got very, very deep into Warriors by Erin Hunter, but then my interest in reading waned, and I'm immensely behind. I don't think I'll pick it up again, but I've thought briefly about it. When you tell someone you love them do you mean it? Yes. Are you going to walk at your graduation or just pick your diploma up? I walked. Do you ever eat anything everybody else thinks is gross? Hm, perhaps. I'd have to think for a while. What did you do for your last birthday? I just ate pizza at home with my one sister that was free that day, Mom, and a family friend, as well as opened presents. What do you plan on doing for your 18th birthday? I don't recall, but I think that may have been when I was in the psych hospital. Or was that my 21st? I don't remember. Do you have to type with good grammer? Yes. I type pretty much exactly how I talk. What is your favorite quote? It's hard to pick one singular favorite. Are you allowed to cuss in front of your parents? Dad could care less, but I try to limit myself with Mom, especially with "fuck." She's not a fan, nor does she like if I just swear too much in front of her. Like she won't yell at me or anything, she just makes it clear she wants me to stop. How long was your last phone conversation? Just a couple minutes. I didn't get the Zoom link to group therapy one day and let the place know. Turns out their email was fucking up. Which one of your friends annoy you? The family friend I mentioned a few questions above has the ability to be incredibly aggravating. I love her, but she has zero issue with inserting herself into everything (and sometimes we just don't want to see her), and she voices incredibly rude opinions literally no one asks for a whoooole lot. She's got a strong tendency to try to take control over every situation. Her being our landlord now makes it harder to speak up, and besides, no one wants to hurt her feelings. Don't be mistaken though, she truly is an incredible person with a heart more caring than probably any person I know. Have you ever lost a close friend to death? No, thank fuck. I mean, I think. I do believe one of my childhood online friends committed suicide because of sexual abuse from her own fucking brother, but I guess I'll never know. She was talking to me one night horribly depressed and scared and then just vanished. Bless her, I loved her. Do you know someone who suffers from addiction? Yes. Do you have a lot of pictures in your room? Tons of posters and artwork, anyway. I currently don't have any photographs, but I got this shadowbox thing for my bday to decorate with pictures of Teddy so I can use it in my "tribute shrine" or whatever for him, and I'd also like to frame the picture of Sara's and my first hug and maybe put it on my bedside table. Do you have Facebook? Yeah, I do. Have you ever found a dog/cat on the side of the road? I myself, no, but a friend's mom did find two poor kittens thrown aside in a fucking plastic bag... Some people are abominable. Knowing how much my family loved cats, she reached out to us, and we took them in and named them Aphrodite and... I can't remember the other's name. She disappeared kinda early. Aphrodite wound up being one of my most beloved cats and was even the mother of a kitten that same family adopted. Delilah is still alive, doing wonderfully, and incredibly loved. <3 Aphrodite, meanwhile, as well as all our other cats at the time, were taken by animal control because our neighbors were tired of them wandering, even though they were too fucking cowardly to confront us first. I've said in many surveys that I am very much against outdoor cats, but I wasn't then because I was uninformed and really didn't understand. I wailed and sobbed and just pure shrieked like a banshee outside when we came home to learn they were taken. I have no clue how any are now, and that's the worst part. Do you go bowling in your town? We are in the middle of a pandemic, lol. Even beforehand though, I rarely went. Last time I did was on a date with Girt. We had fun. Do you have a drive-in theater? No sir. What brand is your favorite shoe? Converse. Is your best friend's mom like your own? They're quite similar, yes. Both are very sweet and caring for others. Do you have anxiety or depression? Try both. What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Sonic. Do you own a pair of brass knuckles? Nah. Have you and your friends ever made up a word? Likely as kids. Do you have any embarrassing baby pictures of yourself? Not that I know of. What is the worst smell in the world? Anyone remember that survey I took mentioning my dog's old tumor? Yeah, that after he spent overnight in a diaper and inevitably peed himself in his old age. And he had a UTI. You probably can't even imagine how fucking vomit-inducing that smell was. Do you dye your hair a lot? No. :/ I really wish. I have so many colors I wanna try. Do you have anybody in your family who rides dirtbikes/fourwheelers? Not really? No one in my family owns one. My younger sister would totally go if you asked her and had one for her to use, though. She's done it plenty before. Have you ever rode a dirtbike/fourwheeler? Yeah, a fourwheeler, and it's really fun! Tell me how you got one of your scars? Hmmm, let's think of a unique one. Ah, my shins, left one especially. When I shave my legs, they get unbelievably itchy, even if I use lotion, and I would scratch my skin absolutely raw so often that I have permanent scars. It's partially why I barely shave my legs anymore. Have you ever had a friend who cut themselves? I know many, sadly. I don't know of any that still do, thankfully. I promise, it never helps. If you ever have the urge, I can't suggest enough running where you want to self-harm under cold water or slap the location (like your wrist) with a rubber band. The latter is especially helpful. It's a similar burning sensation and doesn't leave marks. It would help me refrain sometimes. What is your favorite thing to do in the summer? Swim in a nice, warm pool. Otherwise, become a hermit and wait for the outdoors to not be prepared to melt the flesh off my bones. x_x Do you go tanning or do you lay out? Neither, ugh. As you can guess from above, I hate the sensation of heat on me. What is your favorite skin lotion? I just really like cocoa butter. Smells really good and is perfectly moisturizing. Do you use a lot of hair products? The only hair product I use is shampoo, haha. Do you have a cousin you dislike? No. Well, one is incredibly brainwashed and misled by her psychopath of a father, but I love her nonetheless. We talk now and again because family is important to her. Have you ever heard Theory of a Deadman? Yeah, they're good. What is your comfort food? Absolutely ice cream. Who is your celebrity crush? Mark Fischbach/Markiplier is a perfect human being with the looks of a god and heart of a saint and you cannot convince me otherwise. What’s the song you most wish you had written? "Imagine" by John Lennon is a high contendant, for sure. Definitely something I'd write. Have you ever been stuck by someone very annoying on a plane/bus/etc? I think so at one point or another. Did you get lost at all on your first day of high school? Ha, for sure. Have you ever been interrupted during sex? A bitch knows how to act asleep if she hears a door so much as barely squeak, I'll tell you that much lmaooo. Have you ever been recorded doing stupid things while drunk? No. Has a significant other ever called you by the wrong name? No. Have you ever cooked anything and it turned out horrible? I've barely actually cooked anything in order TO fuck up. Have you ever made a bad first impression on someone’s parents? I can't say with certainty, but I think Jason's mom had her doubts about me at first because she commented on the ripped jeans I wore when I went to his house for the first time. She came to love me like her own though, and I love(d) her. I was actually just thinking about her and how she's doing the other day. What is a food that you always are in the mood to eat? Always? Perhaps sour candy, like Sour Punch Straws in specific. Ever held a newborn animal? Many kittens, yes. Do you make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles? I do, but just for the annual appeal of it. I don't actually believe it will have any effect on what I wished, it's just... normal, ig. What is the last thing you searched for online? Medical coding classes. Having trouble finding any free ones that are actually legit... Is it wicked hard for you to sleep when it's hot in your room? It's borderline impossible. Do you dunk your cookies in milk? Sometimes, and almost always with Oreos. Do medical terms make you uncomfortable? Ha, speaking of medical coding... No, not really. It's unnerving to hear "you have _____," but I understand it can be something so, so minor. Of course, it could be the exact opposite, but. I also actually find it quite interesting to learn the Latin roots of the terms. Are you afraid of failure? Beyond measure. Have you been called a bad influence? Yes, to my former friend's son. Not that that witch of a woman was a great person. I'd love to know how an infant can be negatively affected by receiving nothing but love from his "aunt," also having no concept of understanding about me being unemployed and not very "adult-ish" in general, which I'm sure is what she meant. Normally judgment hits me deep, but that shit I just rolled my eyes at.

[randomly-random-jen]

The Completely Inaccurate Misadventures [3/?]

[part 1] [part 2]

3. Abandonment Issues

Hours passed. Then days. And Church had to come to terms with it.

“She’s not coming back.”

Tex was stretched out in the grass, staring at the sky. “Church-”

“No. She’s just not. What if something happened to her? I’m supposed to run her equipment. Keep her safe. What if she went on with the mission without me and got hurt? Oh god.” He felt sick.

“Carolina’s a big girl. She can take care of herself, and she’s been running her equipment on her own since she got it. She’ll be fine.”

He looked away. “Right. She doesn’t need me.”

Tex rolled over then crawled to where he was sitting. “That’s not what I meant.”

“It’s true.”

Then she slapped him. He fell back, cheek stinging. “What the fuck, Tex? What was that for?”

“Would you snap out of it. You sound like an emo sixteen-year-old whose boyfriend broke up with her. I’m just waiting for the depressing music to start.”

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you to be Church. I want you to stop crying and get angry and curse and being fucking annoying.”

They stared at each other for a long time. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t explain the way he was feeling.

“You miss her.”

He bit his lip then pressed his hands into his eyes. “I love her,” he mumbled. 

Tex gave him a look he felt more than saw.

“Not like that. What is wrong with you?” He got up and stomped away, but there was only so far he could go from the memory unit. There was a little stream about ten meters from home base. He sat at the edge wishing he could feel the water on his feet. Wishing he could do anything at all besides wait.

After a while, Tex appeared next to him. “The memory unit is running out of power.”

“I know. I’ve shut down as many subroutines as I can.” He shrugged. “Not much else I can do.”

“What will happen?”

“I guess we cease to exist.” He reached down and tied his shoe again. “Probably for the best.”

She wrapped him in a hug. “Don’t say that, Church.”

He sighed. “I don’t know what else to do. I can’t believe she abandoned me.”

“I’m sorry,” Tex whispered. “It’s my fault. I told you she hates me.”

Church didn’t respond to that. It was pointless to argue with Tex.

“She’s an amazing woman,” Tex said softly.

“Yeah. No thanks to me. Unless you count being a heartless bastard that ignores his kid an influence on how strong she becomes.”

“How many times do I have to tell you-”

“That wasn’t me. Right, whatever.” He shoved her off. “I can’t take credit for the good parts of her and ignore the pain I caused. God, Tex, you weren’t there. You don’t remember. You don’t even have memories of your own. You’re my memories of you. And I’m just the memories of someone else. How fucked up is that?”

She was gone without a sound.

“Good riddance.” Except he didn’t mean it at all. He pulled his legs up to his chest and buried his face in his knees. He could feel the memory unit slowly pulling him back as the power ran lower. He wasn’t sure he cared anymore. There was a tingling at the base of his skull that wouldn’t go away. Reluctantly, he popped back to the memory unit. “What?”

Tex looked more defeated than he’d ever seen. “I just wanted to say goodbye.”

“What? You hate goodbyes.”

“I know.” She wouldn’t look at him. “The power’s failing so I’m leaving.”

“How?” His head was spinning. What was she even talking about? “The program will just start rewriting.”

She shook her head. “No. There’s not enough power. It’ll try, but the power fluctuations will corrupt the file, stopping it.”

“Corrupt the-?” He swallowed hard. “You’re not coming back this time, are you?”

She still wouldn’t look at him.

“Please don’t do this, Tex. I’m sorry about what I said. I was just mad at myself and taking it out on you.”

“This will give you the best chance of survival. At least a few more days.”

“To do what? Sit here and feel sorry for myself?”

“To see if Carolina comes back.”

Church looked away. “She’s not.”

Tex sighed. “Church.” She looked like she wanted to say more but didn’t.

The silence grew tense. Church hurt. He wasn’t sure how a program could feel so much pain, but it could. “Please, Tex. Don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone.”

She was already gone, but the tickle in the back of his mind gave one last twist. He was sure he heard the echo of her voice whisper, “I love you.” But he probably imagined that.

“Well, Fuck.”

He wished he could pick up the memory unit and throw it in the stream. Maybe it would fry the circuits and kill him faster. He considered turning everything back on and wasting what power he still had, but that seemed like a waste of Tex’s sacrifice. He sat next to the memory chip. He kind of laughed at the fact that he manifested himself sitting. Or doing anything really. Technically projecting himself from the unit was wasting a lot of extra power. He didn’t care. Tex’s sacrifice. Remember Tex’s sacrifice.

“Goddamn it.”

The inside of the unit was bleak. Darker and quieter than he even remembered. And there wasn’t power to do anything about it. He was dying. Part of him was relieved. It’d finally be over. No last-minute Hail Mary pass from Caboose to save him this time. The hours dragged on—the power lasting a lot longer than the few days Tex predicted. Too much time to think.

Too much time for him to lose containment of the memories. Little by little, they pushed into his conscious mind. He tried to stop them at first, but he was tired. They swirled in like a fatal fog, and he lay in the middle of it, just watching as every evil thing he’d ever done, every mistake, every torture relived. He was unwinding. The loss of power was making him unstable. He remembered this feeling.

He didn’t try to stop it last time, and it nearly took Wash’s mind with it. Yet another person to add to the list of people he’d destroyed. And he couldn’t blame that on the real Leonard Church. That was all Epsilon.

“Guess the list gets pretty long when you have three lifetimes to account for,” he said to no one.

Then he couldn’t move anymore. His brain felt sluggish. The memories were gone. It was all gone. Long term storage failed which was sort of a relief except now he couldn’t remember why he cared to stay alive

“Well this fucking sucks,” he yelled. “Can’t I even get one break. One fucking lousy break in this world.”

No one answered back.

“I don’t want to die,” he whispered to the dark as everything faded away.

[perpetualxfire]

ooc - explaining my absence

 I’ve been putting a lot of focus lately on outside story-writing projects, mostly to maintain my sanity; I’ve expressed this a bit to some friends (one friend) but I’ve been a little leery spending too much time here for... Historical fandom reasons, I’ll say, and what happens in fandom this next season is probably going to determine a lot whether or not it’s time to finally shelve a blog that I’ve been running in some iteration or another for about eight years now, so... It’s kind of a big deal.

 (Pre-post Edit): Sorry, This post is going to jump around a lot, aha, sorry; it’s tkind of stream of consciousness and I just don’t have the emotional energy left after writing it to go back and try to make it more coherent. I promise if this weren’t bothering me so much I wouldn’t have said anything at all - I’m the kind of person who tends to keep a lot of these issues to myself.

 I don’t know if there’s anybody left here who particularly cares about the details, as I know I’m both apparently a very intimidating individual to contact and then very difficult to maintain a conversation with once you have (sorry;;; i’m just... not much for talking, aha) but honestly at the end of the day that only peripherally contributes. This isn’t a post meant to say “nobody cares about me and why am I here”, don’t get me wrong - I know that I’m difficult to communicate with and I’ve accepted that for eight years in this space now. The fact that it’s been dead as hell after S14 and the last three seasons in show... weren’t the miracle the series needed, tbh (they weren’t BAD they just weren’t FANTASTIC, you know?) certainly hasn’t helped.

 My issue goes back into the early days of S9 and S10 fandom - my character has always been an incredibly controversial character to people, and I love her very very deeply and am more than happy to express how various misconceptions are wrong - or... I was. But it gets exhausting to get hit with vitriol over and over and over all the time, and a lot of well respected members of fandom have developed some... Not great ways of coping with what I can only describe as trauma from having stayed attached to such a controversial character. Trauma might seem a stretch, but when just the thought of some of it makes me start getting aggressively defensive, I don’t really know what else to label it as.

 There were a few years - a sweet spot - where people were finally receiving the message, were finally realizing just how deep and well written C.arolin.a is; S13, after the disaster (for Carolina, at least) that was S12, was practically her golden age. All of the good, and bad, the learning, the depth of her character - all of it was perfect. For once, it felt like everybody was on the same page, and while I didn’t get a lot of blog activity (not nearly the activity I had back during S9-11) it was nice to feel like I didn’t have to defend my right to love my character.

 The issue is, however, that S17 opened a wormhole. Don’t get me wrong - I love Lina’s arc in the past three seasons, even if I hate the tone they’re setting and converting S9+10 into (it feels like they’re bastardizing some of the most complex story-telling in the series, but that’s just my take); I even love the concept of her labyrinth scene - she’s literally physically fighting her interpretation of the person she was in the past. But, you can ask my friends, I knew the Instant I watched that episode that the way they handled it was sloppy and was going to be bad for fandom, and I’ve only been proven right. We’ve seen a consistent uptick in exactly the kind of thought process that I was terrified of, and exactly the kind of process that I simply do not have the energy to engage with again.

 Sorry if I start to lose coherence, this is honestly a very very emotional thing to write about - I can’t express my love for my time with this character and community enough, and the idea that I might have to deal with every a very faint fraction of, a faint hint of the vitriol I dealt with back in the day again has me literally shaking, so I’ll try to be fast.

 I’ve seen, in increasing numbers, the idea that C.arolin.a now is a much better and more loveable character than C.arolin.a back then was. And, on a surface level, you aren’t wrong; she’s softer, and easier to process. But the idea that you can have the C.arolin.a now without the C.arolin.a then is literally painful to me. I’ve spent hours upon hours taking apart how she’s such a powerful feminine figure in a dominantly male show and community, and to this day I’m convinced that that’s why she’s hated on, even if the people doing it don’t realize. She’s a woman who’s allowed to make mistakes, who’s allowed to make bad decisions that affect others as the result of deep manipulation I’d like to add, and who’s allowed to feel remorse for them when she learns. She’s allowed to be a full person, to explore the full range of a powerful emotionality and the impacts thereof, and the entire time she honestly believes that she’s doing what’s best (and that’s a hill I will die to defend, but I can’t really get into that right now).

 But now that the vast majority of her story arc has reached resolution, the issue we’re running into now is in a couple of different parts - namely, the 100% villainization (i know, not a word) of her past self (we should note that that scene was her interpretation of her past self, but god knows the people looking to dunk on her can’t appreciate that subtlety) and then the hanging idea that C.arolin.a did nothing but use and abuse the people around her - an inherently false idea that she proposes that the narrative allows to leave hanging.

 And, as I’ve predicted, I’ve only seen the people who hate everything who made her who she is today explode in numbers, and I just do not have the emotional energy to cope with that. If I have to see one more person say that they love her now but didn’t during the project I might explode. For a very very long time I was patient with people who didn’t like her during the project, because, to be fair, the writing did her no favors there, either; two seasons that were supposed to focus on her story (words of RT themselves, not me) managed to frame her as an irrational and irredeemable bitch because RT chose to focus on the dude squad (TM) to a point that it was detrimental to C’s character. All the pieces you need to put her rational and thought processes are there, but most people don’t take the time to see them and put them together. I can’t blame people for that. That’s why I’ve been so patient.

 But I can’t do this anymore.

 I can’t.

 Every single time I see it I start to get defensive, realize that’s not helping, and just shut down. I no longer have the patience necessary to help people put together the puzzle pieces that RT did a shit job of providing. I can’t handle people talking about how C is OBJECTIVELY worse than Wash again (I’m not going to argue here, don’t FUCKING make me), I can’t handle people claiming C did shit just to push her authority, or because she couldn’t stand being one-upped, because that’s inherently untrue and I just want to grab the community as a whole and scream how can you not see this after all this time.

 I just.... I’m tired of hurting for something that used to bring me so much joy. There was a time I didn’t mind fending off the haters because I had a close community of friends who would gush with me, some of whom I even converted from hating on C’s character, who were only just realizing the complexity of not just C but of those two seasons and all of the dynamics wherein as a whole. I loved going over just how complex freelancer was, if you can find the pieces, I loved forging new narratives within it, and since all of the freelancers have left, I’ve mostly hung on, because while the avid community that I like to think I helped foster was gone, so was the hate.

 But now, even if in a lesser form, that old mentality is lurking again, and I literally cannot handle it. I just can’t.

 So... We’re going to sit back. And lurk. And wait. And see what this next season (and the potential RP Com. Boom that comes as a result) has in store. And if it’s as bad as I’m worried it might be... It’s time for me to leave. Because I can’t put this much energy and love into something just to have to explain my right to do so anymore. There are people who love much more controversial characters who are accepted far more than there are people who love Ag.ent C.arolin.a, and at the end of the day, I just... I can’t accept that anymore. I like to think that I contributed at least a decent amount to the RPC over the years. Maybe I’m overstating; maybe I’m just tooting my own horn.

 But maybe it’s time I moved on.

[anneapocalypse]

[RvB 17.09] Succession

FIRST Spoilers

BOY HOWDY we've got a lot to unpack here!

This was a very dense episode.

I kinda wish more of an effort had been made to show Tucker having to hide what he's doing to keep the timeline straight, instead of doing very obviously strange and out of character things right out in the open—as though Wash and everyone else are going to see Tucker deliberately sabotaging his own team in a serious battle where they very nearly all die and just be like "Huh, weird" and never bring it up again. I know I'm asking too much of this fix-it plot, but for me it really detracts from what is otherwise a serious plot point where a lot is at stake, both narratively and emotionally for Tucker.

Tucker talking to himself right out loud in front of Felix is written off as a concussion, sure, but it still gave me unbearable secondhand embarrassment.

But here's what I loved: Tucker's moment of self-reflection. It was pretty much perfect. I won't say it erases the mess that was season 16—I don't think that's possible—but it's about as good a reframing of it as we could possibly get, and I think I love it.

So much happens in that moment!

This was one of the worst moments of my life. But it reminded me of something. I became a leader on Chorus. And since we left it, I've been trying to act how I thought a leader should: cool, macho, totally self-confident. But somehow I forgot that I wasn't any of those things while I was actually leading. I was scared all the time, constantly second-guessing myself. But when shit got bad, I was the one to step up and make a decision. That's all it is! And right now, Donut's doing a better job of that than anyone. So yeah, I've got faith. What have you got?

Tucker remembers what made him a leader on Chorus: not boundless self-confidence or self-inflated posturing, but simply the will to act when necessary, even when he was scared and filled with self-doubt. And not only does this bring back our more thoughtful and less impulsive Tucker (thank the gods), it also drives him to a deeper respect for Donut.

It's really good, and a relief on multiple levels.

I also love that Sarge fucked up his timeline fix the first time, and had to go back and fix it. And Donut having to get up close and personal with the Meta in Valhalla was pretty funny too.

Then we come to Wash and Carolina. I have mostly positive feelings about this bit, again with one big complaint, so I'll get that out of the way first.

The "I see you more as a brother" line felt kind of... look, I get why it's in there. It's in there so that the fans who hate Washlina as a romantic ship don't lose their minds when they say they love each other a few lines later. It's so they can show Carolina and Wash as unambiguously close without getting the kind of backlash season 15 got. And while I don't want the ship to be canon (I like it in fanworks; I don't trust the show itself with portrayals of m/f ships that aren't meant to be total dumpster fires), there is... sort of a history of a certain subset of non-shippers in the fandom using "they're SIBLINGS" very aggressively as a bludgeon against shippers, and canon fueling that, especially if it's a response to the season 15 backlash, feels Not Great, and I'll leave it at that. I also have complicated feelings about the fact that a relationship between a male and female character has to be stated to be sibling-like just to pre-empt it being read as romantic? Wash has already used the word "friend" at least twice this season, once in this very episode, and friendships actually aren't necessarily analogous to sibling relationships, so having Carolina interject with "more like a brother" after Wash specifically calls her a friend is kind of a weird note in-universe and out of universe it feels like it's trying to telegraph something else to the audience and I'm not wild about all the subtext going on there.

But to get out from under that subtext, the rest of their conversation is pretty great. I knew this was coming—in the euphoria of good character writing over the last few episodes, it was easy to forget that to fix the timeline completely, Wash had to go and get re-shot. But Wash has known that all along. And he took a moment specifically to talk to Carolina about it, to make sure she was prepared for what had to happen.

This is the most emotional we've ever seen Carolina get in canon. Carolina has never cried, not once, and for some of us, I think it's actually pretty hard to hear. I think I understand now why Jen Brown said she had to dig deep for this season. Historically, this is not how Carolina's tended to express strong emotions. I've written before about how Carolina has tended to express negative emotions as anger, because it's a way to mask her vulnerability. That she is able to be so vulnerable with Wash here speaks to her individual character growth as well as the growth of their relationship.

In short: Carolina crying here is good actually.

I think she's pretty clearly still struggling to come to terms with the idea that Wash's brain damage doesn't mean he's gone. Wash is more at peace with it; he knows he'll still be himself, that the condition will change things but can be managed. For Carolina... I think she's still remembering how alone and scared she felt during the months she spent with Wash on Chorus, watching him struggle with his recovery, seeing his memory lapses and hoping they would eventually get better. She hasn't yet realized, maybe, that's it's because she never talked to Wash about it that she felt so disconnected from him. When they both know what's going on and can be open about it, I think she's going to feel a lot less alone and scared, and will realize that the Wash she always knew is still there.

That's if Wash does get re-shot.

I have a theory I think it is about 50% likely to happen that he's not going to.

First, I get the feeling somebody doesn't want to deal with having to write Wash that way in the future, whether it's Jason or Miles or both of them thinking about whoever comes after. They did have him revert very early in the season, and with so much happening and so many characters to juggle, it's kind of understandable. I will not be at all surprised if they decide to keep him un-injured going forward for that reason.

And from an in-universe perspective, I can see exactly how it could happen. We've already established that the danger of paradoxes is specifically freeing Chrovos from the cage, not, you know, collapsing spacetime as we might have thought. And we've just learned through this episode's mandatory exposition dump scene that Genkins, unsurprisingly, really just wants power for himself and is perfectly willing to double-cross Chrovos to get it.

So the answer's simple: Genkins kills Chrovos. With her dead, the cracks in the timeline no longer matter, and the Reds and Blues' objective becomes killing Genkins. They then have the option of resetting the timeline where they choose.

I mean, sure, there are holes in it, but this season's plot is already swiss cheese, so... I just think they might do it. But we'll see what happens next time.

[callie-the-snarky-geek-blog]

RvB16 Episode 9 Review: Walk and Talk

(Old Blog Repost)

Sorry that this is going up later than normal guys. Had to clean all day and I can barely feel any part of my body. But like Hell am I NOT talking about this episode cause… gosh I need to talk about this episode. So I’m not even going to bother with an intro, lets just get right into it!

Overview

Carolina and Wash have arrived at… I guess some studio. Yeah, Dylan sent them to Jax so I guess they’re in Vancouver since Jax mentioned having a soundstage there. Also turns out Private George is still around and he escorts them to Jax, who is causing the producer Kohan (which may be a reference to Koen Wooten, RT’s 3D producer) to have a nervous breakdown. Jax proceeds to give the Freelancers a look around the soundstage which is a replica of the Blues and Reds underwater base. Speaking of which, whatever happened to that base? We never saw it blow up or anything, so is it under UNSC investigation and Jax can’t use it because of that?

The tour eventually leads to Jax showing the Freelancers… the room where they got armor locked. Yeah, because showing people where they got tortured is a great idea. Wash however doesn’t quite recall it. We do find out that he’s aware that parts of his memory are fuzzy, at least the memories involving Season 15. But he starts to recall the armor lock and Locus rescuing him and Carolina, so he thinks that this could be good for his memory! Haha, sure buddy… yeah I get the feeling that something’s gonna go wrong eventually.

Anyways, I guess Dylan told Jax that the Freelancers were coming, but not why as he asks why they’re there. Carolina explains about needing to find the Reds and Blues… and as it turns out Sarg and Simmons are still with Jax! In fact, Sarge is in the room! Yeah it looks like Jax decided to throw Sarge a bone and let him be a walk-on by playing one of the frozen Freelancers. Which seeing Sarge in a different armor is… weird, but at least it’s still red! Carolina thinks that this means that everything about time travel was wrong and she can be relieved, but haha nope! Sarge confirms that Simmons currently has the time gun and they did indeed go through time! But they weren’t lost guys! They only had to ask for directions once or twice! Just to make that clear!

Speaking of lost in time, we cut back to Grif who is currently heading for England along with Huggins, who is just singing to herself. Grif gets annoyed and tries to make a new rule for her to not do that, making Huggins gripe that he acts like Atlus. Essentially realizing that he can’t keep up his own ‘no talking’ taboo, he asks if Atlus was who attacked them in Episode 2. Silly, she told you her name… though I guess watching the innocent pizza shop get blown up would make him forget. That was Kalirama, who we learn is Atlus’ wife and is scary. I cans ee that union working out great! Huggins then reminds Grif that he didn’t want to know about the God stuff, which he clarifies that he doesn’t…

And cut to that night where he’s asking about what the Gods are. Yep, I knew he wouldn’t last. Huggins says they’re God-Gods, which Grif pretty much represents most people I’ve seen and calls it bullshit. While Huggins can’t speak for humans, she explains that her own kind were given religion, language, etc when the Cosmic Powers came to be and assumes that it worked that they likely did the same for humanity. Something that Grif doesn’t buy whatsoever, saying that he made him. I guess that means Grif at some point decided that the reason why we’re here isn’t due to some kind of cosmic coincidence. Well he has had 16 seasons to think about it. Anyways, Hugigns tries to argue this which causes her to go into a Southern accent. This actually makes Grif laugh, although he does try to cover it up.

So yeah, we get more Grif and Huggins bonding and I’ll go more in depth over their interactions in the review portion, but I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! So we get some talk about stuff like Die Hard and destiny (who is someone Hugigns actually knows) before the two finally make it to the English Channel. Grif claims he can’t swim and I can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not, but apparently his armor can… let him just walk across the bottom of the sea. Ugh… is that a thing in actual Halo? Also I’m pretty sure that he’d still have to swim to the bottom to walk across it, so yeah he was 100% being sarcastic and probably just didn’t want to put in the effort of swimming for it. Anyways as they continue on, Huggins tries to get Grif to have an epiphany on the whole ‘complain about adventure every time it happens’ thing by convincing him that it’s better to focus on resolving it as fast as possible. Aka, actually work to resolve his problems instead of using pre-emptive laziness and whining over it. Grif doesn’t seem to like that idea… but he’s having a bit of a gas problem so…  we’ll see if he takes the advice when out of the water.

Back in present day, Sarge and Jax have taken Carolina and Wash to Simmons, who shows them the time gun. Carolina is very skeptical about this, but Simmons remembers that he proved it before. What do I mean? Well he opens up a portal and it shows past!Simmons from a few weeks ago. Yeah, current!Simmons knew that he talked to his past self because… well he met his future self in the past. Past!Simmons is with past!Sarge in Troy where they are trying to recruit Achilles for their makeshift Red Army. Currently past!Sarge is trying to poses as Zeus, which goes about as well as you’d expect. Current!Sarge explains that ultimately the recruitment failed, so he just stabbed Achilles in the foot. Advice Past!Sarge takes, does so, and the portal closes. So we can blame Sarge for Achilles dying? GDI SARGE!

So to say that Wash and Carolina have a hard time accepting this would be putting it lightly. But Jax certainly believes their case! So yeah the John he hired was John Wayne, his new AD is George Washington, and Alexander the Great… yeah he’s died since Episode 5. RIP. Turns out his immune system couldn’t handle the modern common cold. So this leads us to why Carolina and Wash are there, Dylan said that Jax was an expert on the subject. Simmons tries to warn them against going into it since if you recall, last we saw Simmons he called bullshit to it all since it went beyond science. I guess he decided to avoid religion though. However Jax explains that while regular science may not be able to explain it, science fiction can.

So there have been a lot of questions about how time travel works in this series, so Jax explains paradoxes to us. In most films that deal with this kind of topic, we normally get one of three different forms of a paradox. Those forms are:

A Closed Loop: In this paradox, everything that one does is essentially pre-determined. For example, when Sarge went to Broken Ridge and caused his men’s deaths that he time traveled to prevent. Or when in the past, Tucker shooting Flowers and cockblocking himself. These are examples of events that they’ve seen/remembered in the past, but it was caused by their future selves so it is the most logical theory. There is a downside though, but we will go into that later.

Multiverse/Alternate Reality: In this paradox, any change you make does change things. But what it actually does is create a different universe. So your timeline still exists, but you also created a new one. Jax deems that this theory means that you are essentially ignoring the paradox to being with, so he deems this one unlikely.

Flexible Timeline: This is when you make a change in time that affects your existence or something else important that can change time. But instead of everything changing, there is a buffer period that gives you time to fix everything. The problem however is that there is no explication for how this buffer period exists, so Jax also deems it unlikely.

Therefore, we are left with a closed loop. As I said, everything you do is what you were meant to do and history plays out as it is meant to. But as Jax explains, this comes with some free will issues. You see, since everything that is meant to happen happens, it means that you can’t actually control it. Lets use Church’s efforts in Season 3 as an example. Yeah I know it’s not 100% clear if he DID time travel, but it’s the best we got. Church tried to prevent things, like Flowers dying or getting himself killed by Sheila. But his efforts ultimately led to those things happening. He caused Flowers to have an aspirin overdose and die and his efforts with Sheila caused him to get blown up to begin with. Despite Church having tried to stop those things, he instead caused them. He had no free will over his efforts as they were already pre-determined. Kind of like if it was pre-ordained by the Gods. HMM…

Since most everyone is very skeptical about this, Jax decides to run a test. He asks Sarge to decide whether he’s going to use the time gun to appear inside a closet int he meeting room when the meeting is over. Of course Sarge says he will, which he’s not supposed to do but moving on! So lets just say that Sarge decides not to use the gun when the meeting ends to appear in the closet. They are going to open the door right now. If they open it and find future!Sarge behind it, it means that free will doesn’t exist as it goes against what Sarge has intended. If the closet is empty, it’s because Sarge didn’t go back as he himself decided and therefore free will is fine. I… probably am understanding this wrong, so take that explanation with a grain of salt.

Now the question is, who is going to open the door. Everyone opts out except Simmons, who decides fuck with it and to go for it. He hesitates at first, but eventually he opens it. And what do they find behind it? Why none other than Caoose and Lopez of course! FINALLY!!!

Review

DEAR GOD WHERE DO I BEGIN?!

Okay since time travel stuff is going to give me a headache, lets do Grif and Huggins first. And as I said above, I LOVE IT! So first we do get a little exposition from these scenes. For example, Huggins explaining that the Gods to her kind are God-Gods, but Grif believing that they’re alien somethings isn’t exactly said to be wrong. It’s not much, but it does help leave open to what the Cosmic Powers really are and we can assume that Huggins’ species of light beings are probably aliens that look like… well, lens flares. Going off Huggins dialogue despite being a rookie on the field, she’s been around beings like Atlus for awhile and even has family members. So likely Huggins’ kind are just devout followers of the Cosmic Powers who work for them on tasks like spying and being messengers, but aren’t God-like themselves.

These scenes were just… so frekain’ good. Like you can tell that at first, Grif is trying to not warm up to Huggins or get into any of the Gods stuff as he said he wouldn’t. But as last season demonstrated, he really can’t handle having no kind of one-on-one intention and starts to warm up to the little lens flare. He even tries to sell to her that Die Hard was his life story (side note: seriously Geoff, what was that voice when quoting the one line? WHAT WAS THAT VOICE YOU DORK?!) cause Grif is a dork. It was sweet of Huggins to go along with it and find it funny until getting excited and quoting lines herself. Like it was funny and cute and I freakin’ LOVED it. Like when Grif starts to laugh at Huggins’ southern accent before trying to stop himself was just… OMG Grif you softie.

It was also nice to have Grif let out about how he feels about the frequent getting dragged into adventures stuff. We all know that he’s stick of it and he’s gone into it before, like to Dylan last season and to a lesser degree Simmons when explaining his plan of pre-emptive laziness. But he’s never actually had someone try to work with him to get him through it, like Huggins did here. Like Huggins is just so positive but insightful and seems like the kind of positive reinforcement that Grif currently needs. And her advice isn’t wrong either. Shit happens and trying to avoid it or complain about it isn’t going to make it go away. You have to work through it, no matter how much you don’t want to. That’s life: frustrating but ultimately you take what it throws at you. It seems that this is the lesson that Grif is going to have to learn, and maybe now he’ll start to. I mean him taking the trek to England on foot and so far taking it incredibly well with no complaints so far is a good sign.

Alright, back to the present day stuff. So we do see that Wash on some level knows that he has memory issues. If I were to guess, he knows that his memory of the Blues and Reds stuff is fuzzy, but not everything else. He pretty much thinks that it’s not as big of an issue than it really is and that he’s closer to being better than he is. Speaking from experience here, that’s pretty normal honestly. Still, eh does seem to be doing okay and takes the time travel stuff exactly as I expected him to: complete and utterly exasperated like Carolina is. It was also nice to see Jax, Sarge, and Simmons be relived that he’s okay, even if he got annoyed with them asking about if his neck was okay. Past!Simmons being outright ecstatic to see him up and okay made me smile.

So this is the first time in four episodes that we’ve seen Sarge and Simmons again. They seem to be doing well. Sarge got a walk-on role that he seems satisfied with and while Simmons has still given up on trying to figure out how time travel works, he doesn’t seem to find science bullshit anymore. Heck, eh seems a lot more relaxed in this episode. Of course, going back to the whole ‘corruption’ thing, I don’t know if they’re still at risk or not since by now they’ve been back in the present for a few weeks. And then Caboose and Lopez are FINALLY back after six straight episodes of being missing, but who knows that the Hell they’ve been up to… but I’m calling it now, they’re why pizza doesn’t exist. I am calling it right now because it would explain why we haven’t seen them this long! But yeah Caboose seems normal, but we’ll have to wait and see.

So now lets talk time travel. Dear God… so it’s good that Joe seemed to realize that people were going to be confused and decided to explain paradoxes. I figured that it was the closed loop type, but I know a lot were confused. But now we have the question of free will in play. As I hinted u above, trying to figure this out is going to give me a headache. Plus even if not this season, we’ll likely go down the ‘you don’t pre-detemrine our fates, we do!’ type thing later n this arc. Which I’m fine with, it just always hurts to think about is all. Still yeah, we finally talk about the time travel stuff and it really helped give some distinction on what we’re dealing with exactly. But going of the whole ‘pre-ordienced by God’ part… I think that Chrovous planned on this. Remember the move it goes on, the more the chains weaken and he gets free as the others become shisno.

So we are now going into Episode 10, aka the Big Twist Episode. Maybe Joe will go against that, but still… so one of two things are likely gonna happen. We’re either going to stick with present day, find out what Caboose and Lopez have been up to, and it ends with some kind of major shake-up happening. Or we’re going to sick to the Sixth Century, Grif and Huggins make it to England, and shit breaks loose. Or even a combo of the two. Either way, if Joe sticks to the ‘Episode 10 = Big Twist’ trend, then next week is going to be insane. And with how this one went, it is very possible for something to happen. So now, we wait.

Final Thoughts

This season continues to be great. We got a lot of humor, some good exposition, Grif and Huggins bonding was fantastic, and FINALLY everyone is back in the plot. Something tells me that things are going to be kicking into overdrive soon, and I cannot be both more excited and more terrified for what awaits us. But this episode was absolutely great and the more light-hearted feel was very much needed after last week. Very much enjoyed it!

[cheekyharold]

My Prince, Chapter Thirteen

Read previous chapters here!

I was watching her while she slept. I saw her chest rise and fall. The monitors at her side beeped with each pump of her heart. I kept thinking that, at any moment, those short, successive beeps could turn into one long, drawn out, monotonous tone and her chest could cease to ever rise again. I wondered how I would feel then, at that moment. I don’t know if I would be sad. Maybe more overwhelmed just by all the work that needed to get done. Figure something to do with her body, find some sort of resting place, organize and pack up the house, find someone dumb enough to buy it… Not to mention returning to work. Stupid prince with his stupid money and his stupid heart. Why couldn’t he just leave me to my misery? Heck, if he wanted to throw around some money, he may as well have used it for something more useful, like euthanasia for her. But no, he had to go and be fucking valiant.

I was drawn out of my staring contest with my mother’s rising and falling chest when someone knocked on the door. I thought for a moment of running to her bathroom to hide from whoever it was, but the fact that they knocked meant they knew I was inside. No one knocks for an unconscious patient.

“Come in.” A breath of relief exhaled from my lungs when I saw Callum. “Oh, hey.”

His eyebrow cocked. “Have you heard the commotion? Prince Harry was here.”

I scoffed and nodded. “Yep.”

Callum stepped into the room and shut the door. “Okay, I don’t want to…” He shook his head and moved closer again. “Don’t be freaked, but I Googled you last night.”

Christ.

“Why?”

“Well, I wanted to see your recent work. I wanted to see the things the royal family has posted that were yours and… well… something popped up about some fashion show a couple weeks back.”

Christ, Christ, Christ.

I sat back in my chair and sighed. “I’m never going to live that down,” I said, mostly for myself.

“They were saying he saved you from some sort of attack? Something about him being jealous?”

I met his eyes and saw something sad. Not jealousy, but like he’d just lost something her cherished. Me, I realized.

“Look, tabloids will be tabloids. It must have been a slow news day. It was nothing like that,” I said. He was still staring at me, with those damn sad puppy dog eyes. “The nephew of the designer just got a little handsy and the prince just helped get me out of there. Apparently, the guy had a reputation.”

Callum swallowed. “I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to answer me honestly, Carolina.”

After taking a deep breath, I nodded. “Shoot.”

“Are you dating Prince Harry?”

“No,” I said, proud I could tell the truth.

“Have you dated him?”

“You said one question.”

“Carolina.”

I swallowed. I have never lied to Callum before, ever. I wasn’t about to start now. But I couldn’t say yes to his question, either. “It depends what you mean by date.”

“Oh, my God,” he muttered, going slack.

I could see him going to panic mode so, trying to de-escalate the situation, I stood from my chair and said, “No. No, Callum, it’s not what you­–”

“Everyone thinks he’s gay!”

You’ve got the wrong brother. Sort of.

“It was nothing. We didn’t even date, really–”

“Oh my God,” he said again. “Does he know? About… last night? After you and I… And you didn’t even say anything? Christ, Carolina. You just got the job, which means… he and you are still new. Was I – was I a rebound for you? Was he there to win you back?” Now his sadness and shock had begun to turn into anger. His face became gravelly and deep.

I shook my head, my head spinning trying to keep up with his questions. Thank God my mother was unconscious. The last thing I wanted was her input on this situation.

“I don’t know, but what I do know is that nothing will happen between him and me ever again. He doesn’t know anything about you and me, our past, or what happened between us. But, Callum, you can’t tell anyone about Harry and I, okay? Trust me, it’ll blow up into something it’s not, just like that tabloid.”

Callum clenched his jaw. He was silent for so long I was worried he would just storm out of the room without saying anything.

“Fine,” he grunted.

We each stood there, staring at the other, not knowing where to go from here. I still didn’t know if he would follow through on his word, but Callum was, if nothing, a trustworthy guy. I had to bank on that.

I slowly sat back down in the chair while Callum read over my mother’s charts. We continued being silent, even while he exited the room.

Two days later, I was shocked to walk into my mother’s hospice room and see her awake. Granted, I didn’t know she was awake until I pulled the chair up to her bed and heard her mumble something.

“Oh, Christ.” I almost dropped my tea onto the floor.

Her mouth was moving but the sound escaping was so faint I couldn’t hear it well.

“Mum?” I placed my tea on the table and leaned in. Sure enough, her eyes were barely squinted open. Her mouth continued to move. I don’t even know if she even registered that I was there.

I leaned in, finally able to distinguish her words. “Pain. Hurt. Water. Please.”

“Oh. God. Okay, um.” I fumbled for the remote attached to the bed to call in a member of staff. Within a minute, someone was entering the room.

“Yes?” she asked.

“Hi, uh, so… she’s awake. She’s saying something – I think she’s in pain.”

“Awake?” the nurse stared at me as if I was lying. “No, there’s no way–”

Then my mother let out a louder groan and the nurse’s face went into surprise. She flew into the room and began looking into my mother’s eyes with a flashlight, requesting her to squeeze her hands, and answer simple questions. My mother was quiet, but she must have been doing something right because the nurse injected something into her IV bag before running off to get the doctor.

“Okay, bye,” I mumbled sarcastically to myself. “Didn’t even tell me what’s going on, but okay.” I returned to the bedside where she was still mumbling the same words over and over. I still didn’t know if she was even aware of my presence or any of her surroundings.

Within moments, Callum entered the room with the nurse trailing behind him. I was prepared to say the same thing to him as I told the nurse but he didn’t ask. He didn’t even look in my direction. He still hadn’t spoken to me since our argument, despite me calling him and leaving messages. I even thought for a while that he changed his patients around so he wouldn’t have to see me anymore but today proved that wrong. He didn’t even act like I existed.

“Mrs. Pearson?” Callum called, checking the machines and her chart. I stood back to give him the space he needed. “Mrs. Pearson, can you hear me?”

“Pain,” I heard my mother mumble.

“I understand that and we’re doing all we can to keep you comfortable.” Callum turned back to the nurse. “Did you give her more morphine?”

The nurse nodded.

“What’s going on?” I asked. The tone in his voice wasn’t reassuring me. He sounded too worried.

“How much?” Callum asked the nurse, still ignoring me. I understood he needed time to cool off, but I needed him to talk to me as a doctor right now, not my ex.

“Just the same dosage – 200 mg.”

“How long ago?”

“About a minute ago.”

Callum sighed but didn’t move to do anything else for a while. My heart was racing in my chest. My arms were crossed, holding on to myself tightly.

“What is it? What’s going on?” I asked again.

By some miracle, Callum turned to me, though his face remained hard. Gone was the lifelong friend. Now only stood a professional.

“It seems your mother’s history of abuse is continually catching up with her.” Even his voice was hard. “Her body has developed an immunity to the dosage of morphine we’ve been giving her.”

I looked from him, to the nurse, to him again. Everyone seemed tense. “Okay? Can you up the dosage?”

His jaw tightened. “It’s not that simple. She’s already at the max dosage we’re legally allowed to give her. Any more, and she could overdose.”

“But…” I swallowed, not even knowing where to go next. “You said she’s developed a tolerance. M–Maybe she can take the higher dosage. Maybe she can handle it.”

Callum shook his head once. “I can’t. It’s against the law.”

“But–But, she’s in pain! You’re saying you can’t do anything?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

The man standing in front of me was a stranger. I no longer knew him.

“So what now?”

“We will keep giving her the maximum dosage, but I’m afraid she’ll still feel uncomfortable until she passes.”

I had never wished for my mother to die. Keeping a distance was fine, but never to die. Now, I did. If only to put her out of her misery.

I nodded, feeling completely deflated. I sat back in the chair slowly.

“I have other patients,” he said beside me. “Call the nurse if anything else changes.” Then he was gone.

I stayed until visiting hours were over. My mother still remained far away from the outside world, other than muttering one-word sentences about how in pain she was. Every word cut my core just a little deeper. I wished I could do something for her just to stop her rambling.

The following morning I signed in and a nurse stopped me in the hallway.

“Miss Pearson, a word?” It was the same nurse from last night.

“Sure.”

“There’s been some… progress over the night.”

Progress. Progress is good. But her face told me it wasn’t.

“Okay,” I prompted for her to go on.

“While she is more lucid, her strength is deteriorating fast. She doesn’t have much longer, maybe a day or two at most.” Her words were soft and kind but dug in like a razor.

“Oh,” I said, feeling like someone had just stabbed me in the guts. “Okay, thank you.”

“If you need to stay late from here on out, you’re more than able.”

Great. I unlocked the reward I didn’t even know I wanted.

“Thank you,” I said again before heading into the familiar room. Even the feel of it changed. It felt like death was already here.

“Yes? Is that you?” her creaky voice called out. I don’t know whom she was calling out for.

“Mum?” I walked in uneasily. “It’s Carolina.”

Even with her eyes open, she still looked gaunt and skeletal. All, except her abdomen which was still grossly distended.

“Car,” she said dazedly. “My sweet Car. Is she here yet? I called her.”

“It’s me, mum. I’m here.”

She didn’t look at me, only remained to stare at the ceiling. I don’t even know if she had any muscles left to move her neck. She would look like she was still lying unconscious, aside from her eyes being open. Somehow this frail woman was able to call me to bring me here, just a few days ago, only to let me watch her waste away.

“I was so terrible,” she continued. I don’t even know if she heard me. “Terrible, terrible.”

I couldn’t get my feet to move to the bedside where I normally sat. Instead, I stayed planted by the door. My legs were frozen. I didn’t know what to say. She was rambling. Maybe she hadn’t stopped rambling since she woke up. She very clearly wasn’t mentally in the room. She was lost, somewhere in her mind. Maybe the morphine still gave her that shred of dignity.

“I need to tell her I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”

I was breaking. Crumbling. Floating away in wind. Stab, stab, stab in my gut. Say something, Carolina. Say something. Step closer.

“I’m right here,” I said, voice cracking. “I’m here, I’m here. I’m right here.”

“Please tell her, will you? Tell her I’m sorry.”

I couldn’t see anymore. I had to blink away the blurriness from the tears forming. Whether or not she knew I was in that room with her, her apology seemed genuine. Her voice was too fragile not to be.

“I will. I’ll tell her,” I said. I don’t know whom she thought I was, but I wasn’t going to deny her.

“Good. Good.” She exhaled and closed her eyes. I was terrified she was dead, but I saw her chest continuing to rise and fall. She was just asleep for now.

Feeling weak and lightheaded, I sank to the floor and curled my knees into my chest, resting my forehead on them. I had to sniffle and gasp for breath, feeling like something was just ripped from me – but something that was maliciously put there many, many years ago. Something that didn’t belong there in the first place.

Eventually, I gathered up enough energy to get up and move to her bedside.

She didn’t know how to cope with the disappearance of my father, and she grasped onto the first thing she saw, which was her denial to feel anything. Once one gets the taste of freedom like that, it’s hard to go back. She didn’t know how to be a mother, let alone a single mother. She tried, and for years I held onto the grudge that she hadn’t tried hard enough.

When she wakes up, I told myself, I’ll tell her I forgive her.

Too bad she never woke up.

She died in the early hours of the morning. I had a feeling it would happen, so I stayed in the hospital all night with her. I watched as her breathing became slower and less regular. I thanked whatever God there was that she remained unconscious, even though I never got my chance to say what I wanted. Soon enough, her breaths were few and far between. Her heart monitor was impossibly slow, but it never flatlined until the morning. I held her hand – something I had never done before, to my knowledge – until the end. If I couldn’t say that I forgave her, at least I could let her feel it. Even as I heard the flat line, I held her hand tightly. A nurse came to shut off the machine shortly after and stood there in silence with me for a while.

I don’t know what I felt when she finally died. I didn’t feel happy or broken, but I felt… numb. I didn’t cry. I didn’t feel. Is this what she felt when my father left? Suddenly, I understood her more than I ever had in my life. I gave the doctor on call – not Callum –instructions as to which funeral home to send her too. Luckily, I had planned what to do a couple days prior. I saw her wheeled away from the room while I sat there, not even knowing what to do with myself. The room felt eerily large and empty once she was taken away and the doctor and nurses left.

The sun had yet to rise so the walk back home was lonely and cold. It was odd because, in that silence, I wasn’t thinking about all the regrets I had about my relationship with my mother. No, instead, Harry was surrounding my brain, and all of the regrets with him. I hate that it sounds so cliché, but death really does take your life and put it in perspective for you. Ever since our first introduction, even though he was a right arse, I’ve felt like there was an invisible tug towards him. Something in me needed him. I only felt completely right when I was with him. Even with Callum growing up, I always thought there was something else out there in the big, wide world. But Callum would always be a guy who would stay in Stratford-upon-Avon. That town had suffocated me for too long, and I only felt a small breath of air when I moved out. Harry was a lungful.

When I got back to the house, I knew I had to do a million things but instead, I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts, until I found Harry’s name. He had given it to me after our long night in Wilton’s before he took me back to his place.

I stared at the number for what seemed like eons before eventually pressing the call button. Unsurprisingly, it went to voicemail. It was an automated machine, not his voice, that greeted me but when the beep came to leave my message, I took a deep breath.

“Hey Harry,” I began. “It’s Carolina. You probably already know that. Um, I was just calling you to…” To what? Why was I calling him? I needed him, and I didn’t know why or how to put it into words. “She died this morning.” Something caught in my throat, making the words almost impossible to say. “And, um, well…” I felt my esophagus closing up and my eyes stung with tears for the first time since she died. “I don’t–I don’t really know what to do. I don’t know why I’m calling you, but… I just felt like I needed someone. No, not someone. You. I know you’re probably asleep. I don’t even know if you’re in the country right now. I just wanted someone to talk to, and you’re the only person who came to mind. Um,” I sniffled, clearing my throat and trying to sound less like a mess, “okay – don’t feel pressured to call me back or anything. I’m okay. Um, tell Alfred and Jude I say hello and that I should be back into work soon. Okay, bye.”

I hung up and wished I could recall the voicemail right away. I sounded pathetic but there was nothing I could do now. I turned on the lights in the house, trudged up the stairs, and fell down onto my bed. Fully clothed and with tears streaming down my cheeks, I curled into a ball for the rest of the morning.

[ninjakitty15]

Chapter 8: Fear The Reaper (Loki X OFC Pairing)

To say Loki was a complicated demi god, would be more of an understatement than saying Tony Stark is a decent techie or engineer. He had more facets than the world's most perfectly cut diamond and more layers than an ogre made of onions. Lucky for me, the first few layers were just leather and metal and some really fancy fabric from a destroyed planet/realm. He wasn't kidding about the not sharing part either, in that he became not so much overly possessive per say but he was prepared to let the multiverse know no one could have me but him. Case and point, propping himself up and over me, an arm on either side of my head almost as if he was using himself to keep me in and others out. There was also love bites in several very visible spots I didn't have the heart to tell him would heal before I would leave the bedroom we ended up in. He paused between kisses he stole from me to watch me intently below him and lifted one hand up to cup my face, tilting a bit so his eyes met my heavily lidded ones. "No matter how much death comes for me, I still want more."

I chuckled at his blatant pun. "We could keep going but I think at some point you'd be pegged a necrophiliac."

"Isn't that how most people want to go out, death by violently passionate love?" he purred. "Am I too much for you then, love?"

I snickered at the challenge. "Heavens to murgatroid no, not a bad way to go though, you're right on that."

"Then pray tell, why the pause? You shouldn't be thinking as hard as I feel right now."

"I'd have more energy if certain polarities were reversed."

It was his turn to pause then as he was trying to figure out what I was getting at. "My magic is making you more mortal than necessary, but wouldn't changing that make you numb again?"

"I told you I can still feel extremes normally, not when you're switching me back to life."

"Why do I feel like there's another reason you want to do that?"

Damn him and his clever mischievous natural scheming detector. "What other reason could there be?"

"Why don't you tell me?" he dropped his head to bury itself in my neck, finding the sweet spot and sucking, nipping on it till I squirmed under him.

"I've had you as an Asgardian god, now I wanna try a Frost Giant."

"Ever the curious creature you are. You sure you want this, the effects could be dangerous."

"What? Like frostbite? That's just flesh dying of the cold, I'm already dead, no biggie. Stop asking if I'm sure, you glorified smurf." And suddenly emeralds turned to glittering rubies and the room became much cooler. I reached up with both hands and pulled his head to mine, kissing him passionately, the cold never bothered me anyway.

"You two are worse than bunnies," Tony commented much later while we were all in one of his meeting rooms for the next mission.

"Says the man that used to take a different woman home every other night," Loki quipped.

"We'd be worse than bunnies if I was prego right now but literally nothing is alive in me so your argument is invalid," I told Tony. "Bunnies aren't that great to begin with anyway, oh sure they look all cute and fuzzy but they poop everywhere, aren't great housepets and die quite easy in extreme tempts which is unfortunately the kind of temps New England is known for. Great waste of fluff and space bunnies."

Everyone in the meeting room turned to me then with different expressions but the same basic principle of "wtf" about my little rant.

"What kind of pets do you like then?" asked Clint.

"Cats. Mostly self sufficient, don't need to be constantly cared for, don't hog the bed when they want cuddles, what more can you want in a pet. Anyway, why are we all here? You interrupted my naptime."

"Spoken like a true cat person," mused Tony. "Seems there's some undead activity nearby that requires our attention."

"Don't look at me, they only come when I ask."

"Which means that there's another necromancer around that's not playing by the rules you do."

"Well you know how it is, suddenly you have the power to raise an army and it gets to your head. In an unrelated story, beheading works best in stopping power hungry necromancers."

"Does shooting the head work the same or do we have to actually separate the skull from the body?" asked Steve.

"Afraid to get a little messy, Steve-o? You're dealing with monsters here, you're gonna get messy or you're next."

"Did you just threaten Captain America?" asked Tony in mock shock. "I'm liking you more and more."

I smirked. "Depending on the level of power they have, even the most lethal of shots or slashes can heal if its clean. Loki, a dagger please?" Loki straightened an arm and one slid out of his sleeve and into an open palm which he then handed to me almost uncertainly. I took the blade and slid it against my wrist as an example. For a moment blackened blood oozes out of the cut before it sealed itself back up and the blood was absorbed back into my body. "If clean wounds are all you know, I strongly suggest any number of horror films with gore and violence warnings on the rating for ideas."

"I'm sorry I'm slightly confused here, earlier you were telling us how there's so few of you guys left yet here you are telling us how to cut you down more..." Clint spoke up.

"There's two types of necromancers, those that do their job and those that steal from the honeypot, I don't care about the latter, they disrupt the natural order we're meant to abide by. If that means we reach white rhino status, then so be it, I can live with that."

"Remind us again what white rhino status means?" asked Steve.

"You can count how many of those beasties are in existence today on one hand and still have a few free fingers, they've been hunted by poachers for their horn to near extinction and the few left are now under armed guards to ensure that doesn't happen."

"I've got a question about dead animals," Tony spoke up. "Have you tried raising them?"

"They've been on this planet a lot longer than we have and we cause them enough grief destroying it and them along with it, I leave them alone as they deserve to rest more than we do."

"What about dinosaurs, think of what you could do with your own T-rex," Clint noted.

"Ok firstly there's an entire franchise of movies explaining exactly why it's a terrible idea to resurrect dinosaurs, i mean their name even means terrible lizard. Secondly there wouldn't be much left of them to resurrect, they're millions of years old and there's a reason we only see casts and not the actual bones of them. They're brittle as fuck, the actual bones are kept in a temperature controlled vault in a basement somewhere. Sure, it would look cool as hell having an army of angry monster skeletons behind you but the second they get close to the enemy, they're literally dust. Nice try though."

"So just stick to humans then," Tony noted.

"Fuck yeah."

"So you couldn't resurrect someone old enough, say George Washington?" Clint asked.

"Putting aside the fact that every single person that knows about him or seen his portraits remembers him as a stiff stoic and heroic first president and bringing back a grinning corpse because if there's anything left of him still hanging around its gonna be bones and tattered clothes aka nightmare fuel. It also takes a lot more effort to bring back moldy oldies because not only would they have probably been at peace in their final resting place a lot longer and don't wanna go back to the fucked up world we made it in their absence, theres a lot more effort in putting them together before they rise. Any other erroneous questions and misconceptions?"

"I've got one," Tony piped up. "You've said you only feel extremes most of the time and I'm curious, can you taste pain too? I'm convinced you're actually Liv Moore under an alias."

"She couldn't control other zombies, just support and help them survive the human population that didn't like them. I could stomach a lot of spices when I was still human I think, so I can only assume I'd be ok now, why?"

"Ever had a Carolina Reaper?"

"You've been dying to challenge someone on that haven't you, pun intended."

"What's a Carolina Reaper?" Loki murmured beside me.

"One of the most painfully edible things ever bred," Clint answered for me.

"If it's so painful, why eat it then, food's meant to be enjoyed."

"Some people don't taste the pain, they taste the spice, the heat and that's what they want. So I highly recommend you don't try what I'm about to do. Tony, I accept your challenge...I'd smack you with a gauntlet but this is the 21st century," I replied.

"Why shouldn't I try this reaper, I'm a god you dead creature."

"God or not, you are a Frost Giant and this food is barely edible fire, you will be one of the reasons it's called a reaper and I'm not sure I want to bring you back to life, I only ever resurrect mortals." Tony handed me one of the bright red peppers, a whole one, not something seasoned with a reaper, not a slice, a whole fucking pepper. I took it carefully, touching as little as possible in the event I needed to rub my eyes after this ordeal and examined it curiously. "Well, it was nice knowing you all, Loki, if I don't make it back, avenge me, you have my blessing." I looked Tony in the eyes and took all but the stem and leaves in my mouth before biting down.

"How exactly does this pepper kill someone though?" Loki asked while watching me.

"The spiciness irritates the inside of your mouth so much that it inflames it, causing you to choke and suffocate essentially while you're sweating like you've run a marathon through hell so not only are you essentially becoming dehydrated but you're oxygen is cut off," explained Tony.

I chewed the evil pepper and all at once it was like eating a piece of hell itself, my entire body felt like it was on fire, not just my mouth and I had to shut my eyes to swallow like a frog, my whole body going stiff from the pain, and slammed a fist down on the meeting table before finally getting rid of it in my stomach. "That's a spicy meatball-a," I stated in a horrible Italian accent. "Anyone else wanna try food from hell? Where's Thor, he's always up for doing stupid shit like this."

Loki snorted unceremoniously. "Off playing hero somewhere or making sure his people don't get into more trouble than he does, no doubt. Give me one."

"You can try a slice of Jalapeno before you play with the big guns."

"Are you actually denying the god of mischief some fun?" Clint asked me.

It was my turn to snort. "I've given him more fun in bed than he'd find from anyone else on this planet, what I'm doing is making sure he doesn't die from a dumb challenge. The only thing missing from this redneck fun is someone saying hold my beer."

"That's because my brother is elsewhere," replied Loki. "I'll have your Holopino."

Tony disappeared to the nearest kitchen and then returned with chips and Jalapeno dip with actual slices mixed into the cheesy goodness. "You're not lactose intolerant are you?"

"I highly doubt that's actual cheese and not the processed american cheese most cheese dips here are made of," I noted.

Loki took a chip and pretty much coated the entire piece in the dip then shoved it in his mouth all at once. He didn't break out in a sweat like most weak stomached people would but then maybe Frost Giants don't do that, he also didn't choke or spit it out and managed to swallow the whole thing without complaint though he was a master of lies for a reason, his poker face was second to none. "On the scale of pain, where is the Holopino?"

"It's one of the least spicy peppers this planet has though still pretty spicy. The seeds of any spicy pepper though are what you want to avoid more than the flesh or juice though you don't want the juice either as that shit can get anywhere, people have gone blind because they got the juice on their hands, didn't wash it off well or at all and then rubbed their eyes for whatever reason. Smart people that cook with spicy peppers wear latex gloves, everyone else tempts fate."

"You're worried something spicy and edible could kill me," he mused.

"Everything is edible once," I retorted. "And there's plenty of edible things that can kill anyone, just add poison, hell we eat at least two kinds of poisonous plants without realizing its potential, potatoes and tomatoes are both belladonnas which is the most poisonous plant this planet has."

"How exactly do you know all that about poisons?" Nat asked.

"Like no one else has ever thought about ways to sneak poison into someone's drink before, if you tell me otherwise then you're a liar. There's a song by my favorite band about slipping cleaning solution into someone's coffee."

"No wonder you two are so close, so much potential to do good but so tempted to do otherwise, meant for each other really," Tony mused.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"We'll see. Now that I had my initial fun though, back to what I called you all here for. We have ourselves a zombie outbreak...never thought I'd say that, but there's a first time for everything. While I get the feeling you could probably handle zombies on your own, this should still be a team effort for damage control and whatnot so everyone suit up and ship out."

I grinned." You heard him, Autobots, let's roll out!"

"Sometimes you're worse than Peter with the pop culture references," muttered Tony.

"Where is the little bug anyway?"

"At school like the good genius he is, it is a week day after all and no longer summer."

"Wait a sec, it's...the fall?" I asked excitedly.

"...Yes?"

I grinned. "Things are starting to turn up Milhouse."

"Why is it a good thing for it to be autumn?" asked Loki as we made our way to the jet thing.

"I'm strongest during that season."

There were definitely zombies afoot, not a whole lot thankfully which usually meant the rogue necromancer that raised them was either doing something small scale or wasn't that much a threat and didn't have the power to raise a full army. Either way sucks to be them. I hung back in the jet as zombies themselves were super easy to handle, it was just a matter of finding the weasel that got them there and dealing with them. Loki hung back as well as you really didn't need god powers to deal with the walking dead, just something to separate the head from the body. So it was basically Clint, Nat, Tony, and America's Ass knocking heads and taking names.

"You think Thor will be pissed he's not part of the party?" I mused to Loki.

The golden god grinned at the thought of his brother being the whiny baby he knew he was. "He did particularly enjoy a similar situation to this one, fighting off the undead, despite losing our home in the end. He's not needed though so he can bloody deal with it."

"Maybe we shouldn't tell him and pretend like nothing's happened that he'd miss." Our eyes met for a moment before we both grinned wickedly. "Nah." I pressed my com out of curiosity to see how things were going outside. "Found the rogue yet?"

"All I see are dead people," came Clint's response first, causing me to crack up at the quote.

"Ha, it's not just me quoting movies now, Tony, check and mate."

"Clint, don't encourage her," grumbled Tony on the com.

"This is way easier than I expected zombies to be, I feel like I'm in a video game and this is like one of the first few levels," Clint stated.

"If the music changes, get ready for the big boss fight," I warned him.

"Anything we should look for in finding said big boss? Features that sets him apart like with you?" asked Nat.

"Only the more advanced look like death for reasons, I highly doubt this one is so look for the one that stationary or moving at a normal pace and not currently rotting at the same time. The zombies are either a distraction or sentinels so go in the opposite direction as them to find the boss. On that note, can I have a go at whoever it is, they're under my department, I feel like I should take some responsibility for it...adulting and what not."

"If there's anything else after we're done, maybe," Tony answered.

"Sharing is caring."

"Good thing I don't care then."

Another few minutes went by. "You say its easy dealing with zombies yet there's still no progress otherwise, what's going on out there? Has the music changed yet?"

"Still can't find the bastard, even when I switch to heat vision to seek out living from undead it's still all dead things," grumbled Tony. "Are we even sure he's in this area? Maybe this whole thing is a diversion from another place?"

I groaned in frustration and stood up stiffly. "This is taking too long, I'm gonna miss the Farmers Market!" I stormed out of the jet, Loki in tow of course, and walked out into the battlefield, power flowing into my hands before I shot it at every dead body near me still walking that collapsed immediately, the connection from them to their initial power source cut off.

"Nell, what the hell are you doing?" demanded Tony.

"Your job for you, I want a raise after this too." I grabbed hold of a zombie's head without cutting the connection and instead followed the connection to the source while Loki made sure there were no interruptions. "Found em." I cut the connection of that zombie after and had Loki teleport me right to the source which thankfully was still in the area just very well hidden. I let go of Loki's hand from him teleporting us and took a bee line right to the bastard who's back was turned to me. I grabbed him by the head and smashed it against the wall of the building he was hidden in. Thankfully, he was still conscious for me to play with and held his head with a grown before turning around onto his back to face me and the look on his face was just too perfect to post on instagram.

"Nell! Y-you're...you're," he stuttered in terror.

"I'm what?" I growled at him, not wasting any time as I reached down and grabbed him by the shirt, throwing him into another wall and going after him before he could scamper away.

"You're back," he squeaked. "They told me..."

"Who told you?" I demanded, a hand wrapping around his neck tight and holding him hard against the wall behind him.

One hand of his was around the hand around his neck trying to get me off him while I wasn't so blind to not notice the other reaching for something behind his back, a flash of metal telling me exactly what he was planning and even before Loki would take out his own blades, I caught his free hand that held a certain lethal dagger and broke his wrist while my nails dug into his neck so he couldn't catch his dagger as it dropped. I kicked it away from both of us. "You know who I am, then you know what your options are now. Who told you?"

Both his hands were now trying to pry my one off him and I only gave him enough air to speak and not die just yet. "We're either the hunted or the hunters, that's what they told me. They told me your head would be mounted on a wall when they caught you."

I pulled him from the wall only to slam him back against it in rage, he was working for the people, helping them hunt the rest of us, that caught me. "How did they find me?"

"I don't know!" he croaked.

"Try again." Another slam against the wall.

"I swear I don't know! I was told about you after it had already happened!"

"Nell," Steve of all people said suddenly behind me. "He's more useful to us alive."

"I disagree," I growled. "The dead are so much more cooperative."

A new level of fear filled the traitor's face, he definitely knew what his options were now. He looked past me to Loki who was simply watching the whole scene play out without a word or a motion otherwise then to Steve. "Help me! Please!"

"He's not in the business of helping people he's been trying to shut down his entire life," I reminded him coldly.

"Loki, can't you stop this?" Steve asked him.

"I am not her commander nor master, I do not as you would say, call the shots."

"Nell, drop him," Nat came in saying. "I know what you're feeling, I know what you've been through, this isn't the way to handle it."

I vaguely wondered what would happen if I killed the rat in my grasp, would the Avengers come at me, kick me out of the compound? Would I be their next mission? Would Loki come with me or stay with them? That last one got my attention and I glanced back at Loki then and our eyes met. "You aren't my master, but I still need you."

Loki was silent for a moment, taking in the hidden message I hoped his caught from that statement. It probably wasn't fair to make him choose between the ones he had probably sworn to team up with, and some dead chick he just met and banged a bunch but I needed to know who I could trust when my own people were turning on me. "And you have me," he finally responded.

I relaxed the smallest bit at the answer and was about to finish off my prey before Tony in all his armored glory burst in from the ceiling, his iron mask off so he was legit staring me down with his blaster hands poised. "You want answers from him as much as we do, right? We can get more out of him alive when all his nerve endings are still working. I don't want you to be our next big enemy here but if you kill him, you will be, and Hydra will be the least of your worries."

While the threat was barely accurate considering Hydra had more intel than Tony did on us and had a lot more minions to give the intel to, I really didn't want more enemies than I already had. I grumbled in annoyance and threw the rat to Tony then before picking up the dagger that had threatened to kill me for good and examined it, Loki stepping over to me and eyeing the blade curiously. "Did you mean that?" I asked.

"I might be known as the Lord of Lies but I always keep my word."

The rat was grabbed by Tony and surrounded by the other Avengers who guarded and guided him out of the building, Loki and myself taking the tail end. The second the rat stepped outside however, he crumbled with a bullethole in his skull, a larger one as small bullets don't always do the trick with death mages. Clint took out the Hydra sniper instantly without a second thought but the prisoner was already dead. I cackled when Nat took his nonexistent pulse at the pure irony of the situation. "You see what happens, the universe always provides. You had your chance, now it's my turn. You might wanna take the body back first before they actively try to keep it from rising again though."

Tony just frowned at my reaction and shook his head. "You are a piece of work, you know that?"

I grinned and shrugged. "Thought you liked a challenge?"

He just shook his head again. "Not even Loki was this chaotic when he first joined us."

"That's because you forced contraptions on me that dampened my powers till I behaved like you wanted," Loki retorted dryly.

"You put a fucking bark collar on him? He's a god, not a dog, you dyslexic dildo!"

"Whoa, easy there, Night Queen, this is the same guy that tried to take NYC some years back."

I snorted. "Fuck NYC, their sports teams suck and so do they."

Loki took my hand in his and I felt calm suddenly and glanced over at him questionably. "You don't have to defend me, you know?"

"Yeah well, I got my vengeance stolen by the universe just now and nowhere else to direct my rage, so sue me."

"The universe doesn't steal, it takes what belongs to it, therefore you weren't meant to kill him so relax for now," he argued.

I frowned at the questionable but near flawless logic and grumbled under my breath. "Stupid sexy Frost Giant."

[bluesrrgents]

Hi dear!! So sorry to bother you (again because i've asked you for fic recs before and they WERE amazing so im back aha) but would hav any good jerejean fic recs?? Ive become kinda obsessed with them

hii you’re never a bother!! sorry this took so long i lost my list of jerejean fics that i’ve read r i p zoe! they’re all under the cut and * means i haven’t read it yet, and please make sure to look at the warnings if you have any triggers!! have fun reading:)

thanks again to everyone who offered me some more recs :)

*hair dye by profslupin

Renee convinces Jean to let her dye his hair. The rest is exactly what you’d expect. (2k)

*mirrors by profslupin

The Trojans help Jean learn to look in the mirror and see himself instead of his scars

“Jean had a complicated relationship with his appearance. It wasn’t that he was insecure about his flaws, necessarily, but rather that they reminded him of his time in the Nest. Of his time with him.” (2.6k)

*watermarked by fairietailed

He hops into the kitchen on one foot, catching his mother before she carries the bowl of peas she’s holding into the dining room.

“Jeremy?” Her eyebrows pull together in concern at the look on his face. “What is it?”

“I don’t know,” he says, sticking out his foot. “I think it’s my soul mate?”

–

In which bruises and scars from your soulmate appear on your skin, and Jeremy’s skin is a myriad of colored stains. (4.6k)

*and i wanna come home to you. by redhoods

He’s so absorbed in staring at the way the sleeves are pulled up around his wrists that he doesn’t realize the team has filed out to the locker rooms until Jeremy crouches into his line of sight, “Everything alright?”

No, he thinks desperately, you’re too much.

“Sure,” he says eventually, standing up and walking away.

this is actually two parts, so it’s about 6k total

*the smell of honey by lilaliacs

Martha’s was a cozy little coffee shop that always smelled of honey, lilacs and something that couldn’t be described as anything less than home.And that’s what it was to Jeremy, who had spent his childhood sat on a stool at the tiny bar, coloring in the patterns of the menus, or watching his mother creating the most beautiful cakes and pastries that he had ever seen.

The place was filled with good memories and everyone who came in could sense the atmosphere of peace that seemed to fill the soft light falling in through lacy curtains at any time of day. In fact, multiple patrons had stated that they came in for exactly this, for a break from their everyday stress, to just grab a coffee and absorb whatever magic the smell of Martha’s cakes emitted and it was something Jeremy’s mother was very proud of.It was also something Jeremy was very proud of, and the reason for him to put his all in making the customers’ time there worthwhile.He never thought that one day, doing that would be a challenge.

(AU in which everything is the same only that Jeremy isnt captain of the trojans but works in his mom’s coffeeshop instead) (11k)

*eyes wide open by jaylocked

Jean blinked. Blinked again. Was sure he didn’t recognize the man on his doorstep, with his bright eyes and enormous grin and wavy blonde hair. Waited for him to explain himself with a simple raised eyebrow.

“Hi!” the man finally chirped. The sound was happiness channeled into a single word, and Jean wasn’t sure how he didn’t hate him already.

(based on the prompt from tumblr: “hi sorry I live below you and I hear your dog running around and barking all the time and– no no it’s fine I was just wondering if I could pet it?” au) (13k)

*i’ll come crashing by exyfexyfoxes

Hades/Persephone in the modern world where Jean runs an underground club that herds the souls of the dead. It’s a place where even gods die if they stay too long, regardless of how many pomegranate seeds they eat. Jean wants out. Jeremy wants in. Everybody wants them far away from each other. (19k)

*je reviens by laarusthefirst

‘Moreau is a rain cloud,’ Alvarez muttered, annoyed and bruised, watching Jean stalk ahead to the changing rooms. ‘He’s the human embodiment of a headache. He is the opposite of a Trojan.’‘Fucking good though, isn’t he?’ grinned Connor, jogging past.‘Can’t we all just be nice?’ Jeremy asked. (20k)

*this ink is still drying by ghostqueen

You can’t control who you want and you can’t control who hurts you

Jeremy was staring at Jean’s arms, tracing the bright swirls and splotches of ink that made up his sleeves with his eyes. His sleeves had been months of work and they still weren’t quite complete, he was still figuring out how to finish them. The first tattoo on his arms had been eight months ago, his first tattoo had been long before that. (26k)

*thick skin, an elastic heart by badacts

Jean sleeps around and learns how to make friends rather than alliances. Jeremy falls in love and can’t stop fucking up. (26k)

*ask the messenger by metis_ink

Jeremy Knox and the soulmate.

Guest starring: Exy, a transfer student, generalized anxiety, older sisters, drunk lesbians, bread, cake, a shed, the beach, the absence of Hennessy, Star Wars, Renee Walker, self-taught smooth talking, gratuitous French, No. 1 Trojans fan Kevin Day, relationship drama, general drama, the power of Friendship, questions, answers, team spirit!, and, of course, romance. (32k)

he could taste the stars by subtlehysteria

Jean is still adjusting to being a Trojan, Jeremy tries to help Jean open up to his new team. (47k)

*shield for a heart by neilskey

“It’s your choice, but you’re rotting away in here, Jean and no matter what she says, you can’t live in Abby’s spare bedroom forever. Time to start fighting again.”

Kevin’s hard and commanding tone was no surprise. The softness had been beaten out of him around the same time as Jean.

“What if I don’t want to anymore?”

Maybe it was because he had been half hidden in shadows-Jean had kept the shades drawn, but light still seeped in the cracks- but Jean thought he had seen something akin to understanding paint Kevin’s cool expression.“He’s gone. You survived. Play or don’t, it’s up to you, but you need to get out of this fucking house.”//Jean’s first year at USC. Jeremy falls hard, Jean comes around eventually. (55k)

*a little illumination by lazarusthefirst

Jean’s a lonely firefighter, and Jeremy teaches kindergarten. Everyone learns something about themselves. (56k)

*shooting for the stars, desperately reaching for something in the dark by cryptidkidprem

“He just won’t be back in black.”

A look at Jean’s first year with the Trojans, and his slightly rocky path to recovery. (146k)

WIPs:

*these streets by profslupin

alternate title: Jean and Jeremy’s Guide to an Epic Cross Country Road Trip

After one of Alvarez’s pranks leaves the boys stranded in South Carolina after a game, they decide to take the long route home. (1.6k, chapters 1/?)

*under the sun by knox_moreau

Jean Moreau is an exy player, not a writer. At least that’s what he thinks. His newfound therapist, however, has other ideas. Seeing as Jean refuses to talk to her in his hour-long therapy sessions, Ms. Dawson suggests perhaps writing down whatever he’s keeping inside. Jean can’t possibly see how he’s expected to write when he has nothing to write about. Then comes Jeremy Knox, in all his brightness and magnitude. Maybe, Jean thinks, he has something to write about. (7.2k, ch. 5/?)

*daffodils & gardenias by profslupin (any and all works by meg sponsored by this blog)

Jeremy Knox is the owner of a tattoo parlor when Jean Moreau opens up a flower shop next door. Jeremy gets a crush, but thankfully Laila and Alvarez are there to play matchmaker, with the help of Renee. (14k, ch. 9/?)\

*leaving marks by blackcatiiix

In a world where your soulmate’s injuries appear as bruises on your skin, Jeremy is… struggling. And that’s even before he meets Jean Moreau. (46k, ch. 12/?)

*marrow without bone by exyfexyfoxes

Onscreen Jeremy didn’t hesitate, displaying an eagerness that translated well across television. “Yeah, I spoke to Jean earlier this week. He’s definitely done for the year but he’ll be back in the fall.”Then, impeccably, a twitch at the corner of his mouth. “He just won’t be back in black.“Jean’s eyes narrowed.

(The season hasn’t even started yet and Jeremy already wants to cut their newest player from the team. Making the switch from Raven to Trojan isn’t quite what Jean thought it would be.) (68k, ch. 18/20)