#but god im so glad i took it bc it ended up being worth it

[dynjay]

Life update in the read more :]

My new job starts next week!!

It was nuts how quickly I got hired relative to the interview time; I interviewed a week ago and essentially got hired on the spot bc literally an hour later, I got a call saying I'm in!!

It's so wild... I feel extremely lucky about how it all happened (and just in time bc my savings was starting to run out). I feel so many different emotions about this.

Nervous.

Excited.

Relieved.

Exhausted.

Uneasy.

Validated.

Worried.

Uncertain.

Grateful.

Fortunate.

I've always been an anxious person, especially when it comes to performing tasks for others. Right now, I'm anxious whether I'll actually do well at this job and if I'll be able to keep my work-life balance in-check.

I'm very prone to burn out. Heck, I feel like I'm recovering from something adjacent to burn out right now, due to the past 3 months of stress-filled job hunting alone. Even if I end up deciding that this company and/or role isn't for me, I never want to get to the point where I desperately feel like I NEED to leave in order to become sane again. It feels like it might be easy to fall into the same trap in this job and I'm a little worried about that.

But worries aside? I'm legit overjoyed :)

Instead of letting my anxiety spoil my mood, I've really been trying to celebrate this, because if I don't make a conscious effort to commemorate the victories in my life, I'll only remember the negative feelings I've felt along the way.

So cheers if you've read this far and happy October :]

[cactuslester]

okay!!! oakland show post!

i had so so much funnnn it was the best night ever!!! i went alone and was pretty nervous because even though ive been to shows and concerts alone before, i'd never been to something that had so much "waiting time" like between the m&g and preshow & show, but truly everyone was so so friendly, and it was so easy to meet people and make friends in line, so if anyone is still wondering if they should get a ticket and are worried about going alone, DO IT. it's so worth it, and phannies are lovely <3

so the m&g! this is my first time meeting both of them so i was so nervous and so excited. the line moved faster than i was prepared for it to (sarah was at the front of the line making sure everyone had their cameras ready and knew what they wanted to get signed. i'm so face blind i kept thinking about how familiar she looked but didn't realize that was sarah until it was almost my turn lmaooo), but the actual interaction didn't feel rushed. i gave them the letters i had written for them. i had tried to get metallic green envelopes but couldn't find any, and i told them that, and dan immediately knew what i was talking about and pointed knowingly at phil lmao <3

i brought tabinof and a mini lesbian flag which was between the pages in case they'd have time to sign both and they did! while they were signing i asked my questions. i asked phil for book recs and he said project hail mary, which i think he's mentioned in a preshow before. he said it's space/sci fi and he really liked it. i asked dan his thoughts on this f1 season, and he said "i think it's been quite a good season! it started off and it was like 'max is gonna win everything' and then it was like 'no he's not 🤪'"

and then dan took our selfies, and i'm rly happy with how they turned out 🥺 so here's them being cute sans me lol

they are indeed really good at making you feel comfortable and just generally being very nice and chill. they sounded more british than i was expecting? which is crazy given i allegedly know exactly what they sound like having watched their videos for 12 years, but still, hearing it up close was still kinda crazy. they are indeed very spindly, im glad i wore platforms so i was at least a little bit taller than i usually am

i Did forget to ask phil my follow up question which was if he would ever do a book recs video/livestream, and i also forgot to tell them that the sappy shit and also some recs for boston food is in the letters, but w/e they'll read those sooner or later, and at least i rmred the most important things. oh also phil's blue eyed stare really is So intense, i can definitely see how his aura can be intimidating (but he rly was so sweet <3). dan is so teddy bear vibes though, not intimidating at all <3

i was towards the end of the m&g line, so after my m&g ended, preshow started ~45 minutes later. the energy at this preshow felt rly married and silly, it was so fun. they definitely have someone prune the phlit questions (but im not sure if whoever does it just grabs them randomly or if they actually read and pick which ones dnp read), since not all of my questions were answered. but i cant complain bc they answered two of mine, which i'll post the videos for tn. but i asked if they're digital hoarders, and they said no (liars), and then dan talked about how phil's desktop is disorganized. and i also asked about their fave recent horror movie, and they both said the substance, which i've been wanting to watch!

and oh my god the show itself was CRAZY. like even though i've been looking at spoilers this entire time, i still wasn't fully prepared (maybe i'll put my more spoilery thoughts in a reblog later). they were so energetic, and their stage presence is magnetic. i think it was a good night for them, as far as i remember, no lines were obviously Forgotten, and any tripping over lines was minor. the show had silly parts, it had serious parts, it was just so Them. you really can feel how comfortable and happy they feel in this new era and, like they talked about in the phukbang, that they feel that their audience is truly Theirs now. the show was so good i Did log onto ticketmaster and google flights to san diego after work today but due to flight prices and work, i fear it's not happening, but god i do want to see it again immediately 😔

finally, thank you to all the wonderful phannies i met!!! i had such a lovely time chatting w/carolina, esmeralda, orion, and winter, who aren't on tumblr 😔 and of course with molly @finalfeudfiend!!! we were seat neighbors, partners in phannie crimes for the night, and also they took my m&g video (mwah mwah tysmmmm molly <333). it was really so great to meet everyone, and all my worries about going alone were totally unfounded <3

here are the bracelets and photocards i got! the far left bracelet is from the vip merch bag, and the rest are from phannies, they say super amazing project, sister daniel, and father philip. i am sooo happy with my photocard pulls. the top row were from the pack that came w/vip merch, and the bottom row i got separately. impossible to pick faves really, but some of mine are of course uni hoodies, holographic hearts tongue out phil, phil looking so polite, and smiley peace sign dannie <333

and that's that! much love to dnp and phannies for making it such a wonderful night. having watched their videos for so long, it was so special to get to see and meet them, i had the best time ever <333

[wrongcaitlyn]

hiiiii tawny I had free time for the first time in like WEEKS and so I caught up on your solangelo au week posts and now for my thoughts:

so american: YES. I LOVE. SO WORTH THE WAIT. NO THOUGHTS HEAD EMPTY THE VIBES WERE VIBING. I read this as soon as it came out so the thoughts have left my head but trust I loved it.

renegades au: omg I love it. v v excited to see where it goes. also may have convinced me that I need to read renegades?? but I love the dynamic that the anarchists have. also I love scientist percy for some reason like it’s def not the easiest power you could’ve went with but I like the idea of him being a more behind-the-scenes guy bc I think that’s what he’d choose for himself if given the chance. also your percabeth dynamics are on point in literally every fic from this week (even tho they’re just in the background lmao).

new rome au: I think this route for nico is like. actually way more plausible than what happened canonically. like he DOES have way more friends in new rome than in chb. dont get me wrong im glad he stayed in canon but this was SO INTERESTING. I love the idea of nico healing on his own and separate from will. I feel like it takes away some of the… unhealthy codependency of their relationship LOL. once again the percabeth dynamics🫶🏻 also I feel like some space from percy and then seeing him while he and annabeth are in college more often would be good for their friendship??? like idk I am a big fan of taking ur space when needed. also risk is SUCH a will song. boy was in love with a dude before they even had a conversation.

nerds au: as a nerd a nerds au is something that can be so special LMAO I love this dynamic perhaps bc it is also my life (esp in hs). all of the character dynamics in this fic were just. chef’s kiss. I loved. I think you translated nico’s unhealthy habits from canon into a hs au in a really interesting, believable way bc nico WOULD stay up late to do hw out of spite. maybe not canon nico but a nico who grew up in the (possible public) school system. also I love the quiz bowl addition (at my hs it was called scholar bowl so sorry if I type that instead LOL) bc I had so much fun in quiz bowl. I made some of my best friends thru it :) are u in quiz bowl?!? the rules were way too accurate to be written by someone unfamiliar with it lol.

long story short I love all ur fics and will forever be excited to see an update to any one of them <3

oh my GOD. you have literally made me die dead. kicking my feet and giggling at this AHHGSDF

i'm SO glad that you liked so american!!!! was highly anticipating ur response bc u convinced me to actually write it so!!!! i'm so happy <33

ABSOLUTELY READ RENEGADES. srsly it's such a good series like i will recommend it to EVERYONE. the anarchists dynamic is so😭😭 keep in mind that this is a heavy au of renegades, so the dynamic is slightly different (+ a very different ending in the series, i took a lot of creative liberties) but i'm so glad that you liked it!! and YESLKSDJF i just realized that i had background percabeth in all of my solangelo week fics. which like. THEYRE SO ICONIC THEY HAVE TO BE EVERYWHERE i think there are some couples that i absolutely LOVE but i prefer to actually write them as background couples?? like i obsess over their dynamics, but i like it from an outsider's perspective and not as the main plotline (at least when writing fics) so i very much enjoyed including them in all of these

honestly SAME with the new rome au. like. absolutely love that nico managed to make a home in chb, but like?? reyna jason AND hazel were all in new rome... i honestly wouldn't have blamed him if he took that opportunity instead!!! i think this would be a really cool au to expand on and like actually make a full multichap but i am trying desperately to not turn everything into 100k monstrosities. i tried limiting myself to 5k words and didn't even manage that so. but i definitely think he would've grown a lot + gotten some healthier coping mechanisms when living with all of his friends, then meeting percy a year later, and THEN going into a relationship with will - and ofc, will is happy with whatever ends with a solangelo endgame. he's their own number one shipper!!

I'M SO GLAD U LIKED THE NERDS AU nico's characterization was definitely something that i considered (and, tbh, that i consider in all au's, because trauma and coping mechanisms do not often translate the exact same over universes - characters are always going to behave slightly different in other situations, so it's always exciting to see how that works!!). one thing that DOES translate throughout every universe is that he has no semblance of a sleep schedule; this time it's just due to hw instead of tartarus nightmares! SAME WITH THE QUIZ BOWL and yes i am part of the club!!! genuinely made my friend group through that, and we actually did what was in the fic irl - as in, we made a discord server and like quizzed each other over that. my team lost be an insane amount. i am nowhere near as skilled as nico and will. i maybe have gotten, like, 4 questions right in my two years of being part of the club (though i will use the excuse that my anxiety makes it VERY hard to hit the buzzer. i hate being wrong more than not answeringslkdf) but!!!! i do think nico and will would SLAY at quiz bowl, they both definitely feel like people who have random encyclopedic knowledge on the most niche topics

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH ILY <333

[magnoliamyrrh]

Don't you have a psychotic father? Didn't you fear that acid might trigger psychosis in you too?

He did. Its unclear what has caused my fathers psychosis however. His mother holds that when he was young he overdosed on some medication and had a long series of epileptic-like seizures, and that this may be the source; doesnt seem too far fetched bc there have been cases of this happening, and of epileptic seizures causing religious-focused psychosis, and feelings of "heaven" and "hell." Noone else in that line of my family, or on any side of my familty, has had any kind of psychosis-inducing mental illness however, noone recently at least or noone that anyone knows of

I used to worry about it at the beggining, yes, every once in awhile I still do. I mean, before i even did psychadelics weed could have technically caused psychosis - ive met ppl in psych wards who had weed-induced psychosis who had no family history of it even; one girl who it hit after the first time she smoked, and didnt even smoke much. However, no matter how much and how frequently ive smoked, ive never come close to feeling like it was causing that - the most ive had is weed-induced paranoia and other shit, but nothing once I came down. To smoke weed was a risk in the first place, which i took, and so far its been years and nothing has hit me

When i first tried psychadelics, and acid was the first one, I knew it was a risk, one i took because I know I could handle high doses of weed without losing it, and because I was...... well. I was fucked up. anorexia bulimia suicidality a bunch of other shit, i wasnt far away from a second suicide attempt at all, and I couldnt rly see many ways out of the shitshow i was in - i figured if I didnt kill myself the anorexia or bulimia would kill me anyway...... and so, i decided to take the risk, that everything good ive heard might be worth it. And im very glad I did, bc theres a high chance id be...... either dead or much worse off today

By now ive tripped idk well over 50/60 times and have yet to feel like my brain has been pushed twoards psychosis. The most I can say is that, and this applies only to acid which I dont rly do anymore, when I did later on take probably too high doses and had rly bad trips,,,,, yea, in the middle of the bad trip i was afraid of that possibility (or more accurately afraid the trip would never end) - frankly, I think the fact that I had the strength to keep myself together and pull myself out of it got me through it; i dont know if someone else going through that experience without prior experience and the ability to try to keep it together would have had a psychotic break, idk, maybe so maybe not - maybe it wouldnt have been chemical but it would have been so traumatic that theyd have been lost in the sauce. Or maybe not........ the most i can say is that I learned my lesson w strong doses of acid, and that it did happen that I felt its effects for days or weeks after the trip - not psychosis or delusions - hard to explain, but its like the trip lingers; in good cases this is called psychadelic "afterglow," after bad or exhausting trips its not particularly pleasant

Sooo, idk. Yea, i guess it could happen, fuck it, it could happen with weed too. Its a risk I take. I don't smoke as commonly as I used to anyway, and I dont do psychadelics as often (tho frankly the times when I would do shrooms around once or twice a month were the most productive, stable, sane, happy periods of my life). I hope to God it wont, but it could, even being careful and respectful with it

....... overall though? psychadelics, and especially shrooms, have made me feel exponentially, exponentially more "sane" than I ever was before I took them..... and even particularly crazy trips managed to teach me, my brains a lot more put together and stronger than I thought it was

[llycaons]

ep14 (p2): oh god oh fuck

in comes madame yu. it's absolutely insane the impact she has on the story and characters despite being in what, three scenes? four? her influence...

it hurts so much to see wwx so small and obedient in her presence. also WHAT is everyone so mad at him for! he saved jc's life! isn't that the important thing! he's just a punching bag because everyone is mad and because myu hates him and wants to vent

another example of myu being a terrible politician too blinded by her own issues: actually saving the heirs to the other clans is a REALLY good move that earns the jiangs allies in the inevitable war against the wens! they're also sure to be well-trained young cultivators whos assistance would really help during wartime!

and jc believes this didn't he! he believed it right up until the reveal! he tried to kill wwx with that knowledge that his mom was right the whole time!

worth noting that when myu goes too far here, jfm does push back. he's characterized as impotent and spineless, but he stands up here, shouts to myu to quiet her, tries to walk her away. this kind of sucks bc it just villifies myu more, but honestly I think jfm even doing what he can couldn't keep her from being herself

ohhh triangulation or whatever this is called. delicious

jc seriously almost made me cry here this is such a nightmare and I feel so bad for him

not to mention poor fucking wwx over there who has to hear these insults to HIS parents which he can't even acknowledge or defend against because this isn't about him! nothing is about him he's just an interloper the jiang family graciously took off the streets! he owes them everything and he doesn't have the right to speak back to them and he doesn't truly belong here! nightmare nightmare. despite everything im so glad he's out of that environment postcanon

see above. even being forceful won't work unless he wants to physically remove her, which he probably can't

another devastating shot here. it's so horrifying that jc has to deal with all this and STILL he's not in the worst position because at least he's allowed to be upset by it. and at least wwx will always be there to support him

...or so he thinks

oh I love this sequence! zooming in and out and back and forth as jc strides away and wwx tries to catch up to him. it captures the atmosphere of the scene so well, frantic and dynamic

KING OF OPEN COMMUNICATION 16 YR OLD WWX!!!!

jc is literally right and wwx can't even deny it. he can't even say 'no he loves you' but 'oh that's crazy haha what kind of father doesn't love their own son?' well. jfm doesn't

this is such good emotional support and jc literally can't even thank him for it he just has to be a dick and keep on blaming wwx for everything. the perpetual scapegoat! his emotional punching bag! the brother he can't ever support in turn!

jc can't stop hurting him and criticizing him, and wwx can't accept that he did anything wrong. this isn't a heartwarming or bonding moment between them, it's just another example of wwx pouring energy into supporting and encouraging jc, who rejects it and disrespects him for his efforts. it's another disagreement on something neither will budge on that goes unresolved. it's not even the beginning of the end. that started long before this. but it's emblematic of ways their relationship will disintegrate even though in this very conversation wwx swears to be jc's right hand man.

[misqnon]

hi, i just read all of ur posts tagged as misqnon's one piece liveblogging and it was so much fun T-T. im here to rant about one piece and im sorry.

i really love seeing people react to content i am caught up with and hold close to my heart.

i got into the 800s in the anime and stopped watching, took a break and then read the manga up to around 1060. but last month i decided to read the whole thing from the beginning and it is genuinely SO WORTH IT.

after u have caught up completely its super rewarding to go back and look at previous chapters bc its constant "oh my god look what was foreshadowed here??" and "now i understand the context behind this!!!" and "this interaction is so much more meaningful now that i know their relationship!!". yes it did take me a whole month of nearly nonstop reading to catch back up but i have 0 regrets.

wano and the arc after it are both super fun and interesting and i think ur gonna love it. the lore is crazy. i hope u dont see any spoilers bc going into it completely blind will probably be way more exciting, especially with the most recent arc since its kinda suspenseful and mysterious,,.

anyways thats all i have to say how do you end these things.. take care!!

AAAAA ANON THIS IS SUCH A FUN MESSAGE TO RECIEVE THANK YOU...

I ended up talking a lot so I'll put this under a cut lol

I used to be the person who said I would never watch one piece 😭😭 I've been into anime since I was like 12 and I'm almost 24 now (fuck . That's like half my life) and obviously it's always been on my radar but I always thought it was 1. Too popular 2. Too Long 3. Hated how oda draws women lmao so I was fine ignoring it and only knowing the basics from just Being On The Internet

I think sometime early on I caved and attempted to watch it- I got to alabasta and stopped bc the anime pacing wasn't doing it for me (though I liked it up until then, but didn't LOVE it)

cut to high-school where a couple of my good friends liked it but we never really talked about it, it was a lifelong interest for one of them bc he'd started reading it on like 4th grade

Well I'm still friends with them (shoutout to sam and seb) and they convinced me to watch one piece film red with them in like July or August of last year bc they were showing me the songs and I, ado fan bc I'm a retired weaboo and a vocaloid Stan, was like "haha that sounds like ado" and they went "IT IS!!!!??" so I had to watch it for her.

again, I was like oh this is fun I like this :^) but no IMMEDIATE interest, more of a passive thing... until the live action came out a month or so later and I watched it just because and DAMN I FELL IN LOVE FAST

I went back to the anime and rewatched the beginning, then skipped back to alabasta where I had left off years and years ago and now I'm Here 🧍

I watched up through part of dressrosa before I started reading the manga, and now I'm doing that while watching certain episodes of just the parts I really wanna see animated

It's been. So Fun

I am now that person who's like Hey You Should Watch One Piece. I get it now. I so get it lmao. And you know the weirdest part is that with it being divided up into arcs like it is I find myself thinking it really doesn't feel that long!?!? Am I insane,

anyways. It's been a while since I was in an active fandom or even in a fandom at all - ESPECIALLY such a big one!?! (I was in college for 4 years and Busy).

but it's. Crazy. I'm writing fanfics and joining discord servers and I've never done that before. it's been very fun and rewarding tbh...I don't like a lot of things about oda and aspects he included and ofc one piece isn't perfect or unproblematic but it IS a really awesome epic of a story about friendship and found family and anti authority and its just.

I'm also a person who's always loved reaction videos or just even seeing otherppl react to things I like so I RELATE AND IM SO GLAD I CAN BE THAT FOR U...

I'm ngl as I've been reading I've been wanting to look up some old one piece forums dated the time certain reveals happened bc I want to see how people felt as this shit came out holy Shit....

it's additionally funny bc this blog is about 10 years old and has amassed a decent amount of followers over the years who were just into some of the other random stuff I've been into but I know a fair amount of them were thinking we were on the same page of not being into one piece and now here I am. Ruining that. And with the pervert character as my favorite no less. lmao SORRYYYY YALL <3

I'll leave u with this message I sent into the discord I share with some friends the other day, none of which really watch op, when asked to explain something about the show. In fact, I think the reasoning for this message was BECAUSE I was explaining to a friend just how much oda foreshadows things!! jinbei, kaido, haki, sanjis backstory, ALL being mentioned by name or referenced DECADES/YEARS BEFORE APPEARING ON SCREEN...HUNDREDS OF CHAPTERS APART....I could rant on more but I'll stop for now.

thank u for the message and feel free to dm me to talk about this silly show anytime bc its sunken its claws into me 😭

[moodywyrm]

oh my god that sounds so cute !! and doc charms !!! omg !! i actually just got my first ever pair of original docs on friday and they are so comfy ?? like ?? i have some doc sandals but never really wear them cus they are platforms and i have a tendency to absolutely shatter bones if im more then two inches off the ground LMAO

i totally understand the overstimulated part ,, i genuinely don't think i could live w out a portable fan and a change of clothes or two because sometimes fabric is too much :(

and yes </3 medical stuff </3 ive been doing a lot better though !! a lot less chronic pain and i took a few acetaminophens so the cramping has gone down (yippee) , im kinda bummed about the whole allergy thing cus essentially im allergic to every kind of meat and bread, dairy, soy, and eggs </3 so like,,, i am being forced into veganism (is that a word? it is now.) and it sucks because a lot of my home dishes are meat !! or bread !! and im a whore for naan bread im so upset i cant eat it anymore :( fortunately i had all these allergies as a kid so its not really new to me, but its still sucky:(

-🧸

the doc charms were one of my favorite parts!! I love docs so much, I got my pair like four years ago and they're still kicking </3 which is a testament bc I walk so much and they're still alive <3 with some bumps and bruises, but alive <3 breaking in docs is Hell but they're very worth it in my opinion! and I want platform shoes so bad, hence the platform converse I was crying about </3

and no seriously, I only survived bc my friend brought a fan that I ended up snatching for the entire day bc heat + full fit + period would've made me pass out otherwise </3 I wish I'd brought a change of clothes, bc I was stuck in the corset top all day and my tummy was so squished :(

I'm glad you're feeling a little bit better!! it sucks that you have to give up a bunch of your food :( maybe you can find recipes for your traditional food, just with modifications for the allergies? I'm sorry honey, that sucks so bad </3 I would be so sad if I had to give up cultural food :( I hope you can find some alternatives so you can still enjoy the yummy food!!

[crystallion12]

No clue how to do Tumblr so forgive me, gotta save this tho. If only to remind me when I think to myself how lonely it is down here. IM JUST SO?? I want to say excited but don’t want to overreach?? I’ve been pining over this OT4 for MONTHS, have a gigantic fic noted down and 😭😭 I just think they’re NEAT, Atsuhina (ngl nothing else would’ve probably happened if not, the other two aren’t exactly the forthcoming kind) turns into Atsukagehina over the Tokyo Olympics, and slowburn Sakatsu afterwards (I think of how Atsumu doesn’t cope well with TWO long distance BFs) brings him into the fold. Omi fears it’ll be extremely awkward at first, but Kagehina don’t give a crap if he’s “fourth-wheeling” (he and Tsumu have time alone, yes, and so do Kagehina, but they get along fine as a group so…) so he just. Finds himself getting comfy with them both despite it all, and comes to genuinely love the other two, so he’s just like, cuddling with Shoyo (who is, p unintentionally, yet again seducing vb players like it’s no biggie. He’s just glad it’s not another setter, they pointed it out to him that he’s a setter magnet and he’s been in CRISIS ever since) one night and goes “Hey. Wanna just all be… a thing? We don’t have to be boyfriends, but I like all of you?” “Yeah sure” “Cool beans” “How TF am I going to explain this to my parents…?” (I like to HC Omi is somewhere on the greysexual scale (can be into s*x with one of them at a time, all of them, or none of them/repulsed by it, for days to months at a time). He loves all three of them deeply, including Kags, who he’s fine being in the room w/ when it’s time for the occasional B*tchin Bedtime Bash n’ Bonking session (it’s a small party, a, I’d say monthly event at this point. They schedule it, snack breaks and movies n all. Omi sleeps through most of it usually which, frankly, is impressive) but like, I agree with the other reblogger. Omi and Tobio are pretty platonic, but I like to think they really do get close, esp bc I HC they’re both hard on more demi and questioning spectrums — whenever Shoyo and Atsumu sees someone pretty they’re sat there like, what do they see? What do you mean you just saw them and would bang? We took MONTHS, YEARS, to even think about kissing you idiots!! (Atsumu: At least y’all didn’t have to suffer through the bi crisis I had bc of Shoyo in HS. It sucked, worth it tho)

Also, Shoyo absolutely has the most power over ALL of them and it’s a good thing bc he is, by far, the most emotionally intelligent. Honestly it’s barely even a competition, he’s the miracle holding them together 😂 Someone asks “Oh so who wears the pants, y’know lol” “Pants…? Omi or Tobio probably. They’re both completely dressed usually, or naked. Tsumu either wears underwear but no pants, pants but no underwear, no inbetween, always shirtless, and then—” “NO PLS OMG I MEAN WHO’S IN CHARGE” “Oh! Oh that’s honestly me. They rarely say no to me, if I want something someone’s at my beck and call. Sometimes I feel like I’m a shojo harem MC… but I’m the best cook. You bet they listen to who feed them and gives the best cuddles, smh” (The other three: *begrudgingly nodding* He has too much power…)

(Also makes me consider angsty routes where, if Shoyo ends up angsting, or is threatened somehow, it rocks the entire boat. Those three having to work together harmoniously without that steady, warm little thing winding his way between them, brightening otherwise gloomy spots of miscommunication, would be trying. I do have angsty ideas related to the AU but not settled on anything, and they don’t quite feel right, really, so… idk).

While they’d probably keep it to themselves bc god knows irl Japan would have an aneurism seeing them (it seems polyamory is. Nonexistent in their public views?) but boy does it generate the funniest drama. Haikyuu verse shippers going HARD on Twitter, little do they know they skipped all that BS and bought the biggest bed they could (hardest thing to work out honestly, like… that’s three 180+ tall athletes plus Shoyo whose hardly small, and moves a lot— defying all logic, often starting on one side and ending up on the other. They’ve given up on permanent arrangements. Sometimes a dog pile seems easier. Like, Omi and Tobio prefer the furthest ends respectively but Tsumu is a fussy boy who decides he needs snuggles from EVERYONE and then. Shoyo is probably making the pilgrimage to Omi’s side at 3am, apparently, bc Tobio kicked him muttering something about sexy ninjas and nope, not tonight. Yes, when one of their phones goes off it’s an effort getting it to the right destination.

As you might be able to tell I have all too many feelings and thoughts here 😭 It’s the most severe brainrot… and I just KNOW I could make the biggest fic but my motivation’s so bad, I need soundboards to help bounce ideas off. Would be v happy to have someone to ramble to about these four (somehow functioning) idiots in love if anyone’s made it down here and still interested.

Signing off over here in poly rarepair hell 😞🫡 Maybe I’ll write that fic someday! Also, maybe I’ve figured out tagging?

i enjoy sakuatsukagehina but oh god they’d be insufferable. three of them are assholes at least 40% of the time (intentionally or unintentionally) and all four of them getting competitive over the same thing might result in actual radioactive fallout.

[omgjumin]

hi!! i saw the event post and immediately i was interested. nanami kento + angst prompts 9 + 11, gn!reader pls! (could u also maybe include reader being hurt and him comforting reader? if u want ofc) anyways i'm looking forward to this, and take ur time!!

the picture - nanami kento

summary: you looked around the shared house, different pictures of the two of you together from graduation up till now, but none of them stood out to you except the one where nanami proposed to you in.

tags: angst but there's comfort at the end, marriage, fighting, pet names (baby, love), overthinking

notes: it was so hard to not cry while writing this like gosh but im glad i could get out of my writers block bc of this

"kento, all i'm asking is that you help me with the wedding planning. i understand that you are busy and so am i. i just need-" you paused yourself, trying to carefully pick out words that won't set off your fiancé. "i just need you to be here with me. you even missed our kimono and dress fittings today." for a to-be-wife, you knew you shouldn't be this hesitant to touch nanami but as your hand went in to graze against his, it shook anxiously.

"if you understand then why don't you just leave me alone when i'm working? let's have this conversation later." nanami retracted his hand from under yours before brushing you off as if you weren't anything important to him. "you always say that and i'm tired of being ignored like this every time i try to talk to you." fighting with nanami was nothing new. petty fights, serious ones, or even jealous fights, the two of you knew that if you didn't calm down and communicated your concerns, you wouldn't get anywhere. 

however, now, you felt as if you were just a lousy bug, flying around and about nanami's ear. "just talk to me please. you can't expect me to take care of this on my own. it's our-" the shakiness of your hands only worsened when you felt your heart rate increase. the pounding against your chest felt as if it was in your throat. no matter how many deep breaths you took, it just wouldn't ease the feeling in your throat. it squeezed and squeezed until it could choke a sob out of you. crying wouldn't get your way, you knew that, but somehow you couldn't stop yourself from letting tears fall down your face. "please, for the love of god, shut the fuck up for once. im busy so please leave." you were used to it. used to the monotone of his voice. yet his voice was laced with nothing but annoyance for you at the moment which shocked you to the core. you didn't need to turn around to know that nanami's own words didn't register in his brain yet.

without saying another word, you quickly left his home office. you looked around the shared house, different pictures of the two of you together from graduation up till now, but none of them stood out to you except the one where nanami proposed to you in. a smile subconsciously snuck a way onto your face before you quickly shook it off. you felt as if you were betrayed, no, mistaken by his words. nanami promised that no matter what, you were together, a team, that would help each other through the most difficult days and the easiest. and yet, here you were overthinking, on whether or not nanami truly meant his words. no, nanami never goes back on his promises. especially to you. but you couldn't help but to second guess yourself on if it was worth it to go back in there to try again and apologize but there was nothing to apologize for. you never did anything besides support him throughout his work. how come he didn't do the same?

your eyes wandered until it landed on your keys dangling from a rack near the front door. you doubted yourself. you doubted nanami's love for you in that second. you shouldn't have, really, but recently his actions weren't proving you wrong. hesitantly, you looked down at your engagement ring before looking back at the picture. no, you can't, you said to yourself before grabbing your keys and leaving the house. you didn't have a clue as to where you wanted to go but as long as you didn't have to be around nanami at the moment, anywhere was fine.

just somehow, somehow, your subconscious followed the same familiar path. the same roads that felt like home as they were leading you to the place in the picture. as if you wanted to relive the moment, not wanting to face reality. the bright half-moon that accompanied the twinkling stars in the sky did everything they could to comfort you, in some way. the picture was taken a little bit earlier in the night however you could see the soft glowing moon in the sky up above the love of your life kneeling before you. oh how you wished that nanami was there to hold you in his arms as he swayed along to the sound of the rushing river down beneath you. his chest pressed firm against your back as his face was cradled in your neck. your welcoming scent filled his senses as he basked in your love. nanami pressed soft kisses onto your neck, claiming that he's only trying to warm you up from the chilly summer nights. "yeah, whatever." you rolled your eyes clearly not annoyed as you quietly chuckled to yourself. "mm turn around." nanami said as he removed himself from out your neck, placing his hands on your hips loosely. "i love you." nanami whispered as he dived into your lips. "i love you too, future husband." the two of you laughed, flustered at the new name he held for you. 

that moment was nothing more than two months ago. you sighed as you leaned against the same railing, hearing the same river flow down the stream, seeing the same moon that shined above, smelling the same occasional whiff of a nearby street food cart, and tasting the same chap-stick off your lips. it felt all too familiar but felt all the more distant. the feeling was comfortable but awkward as you stood there alone. though all you needed was time alone, time to calm yourself down before trying again. but that time was cut by the soft tap on your shoulder. "kento?" you nervously called out, your voice wavering as it filled the silence. "what are you doing here?"

"i could ask you the same."

"how did you know i'd be here?" you slowly but surely removed yourself off of the railing. the comfortable atmosphere faded out to be uneasy. the once comfortable silence came to be suffocating as you felt yourself being torn apart in nanami's gaze. "where else would you be?" nanami spoke after taking a deep breath. if nanami was being truthful, he saw your eyes linger on the picture before you left. the dejected expression that filled your eyes as you turned away towards the door made his heart drop. he didn't know where he stood with you at the moment, so he refrained from touching you. but all you wanted was for him to embrace you in his arms and hold you there like he did two months ago. it seemed as if the world was plotting against your desires. however, nanami took a step forward, shortening the distance between you two. you took a sharp breath in before looking away, pretending as if anything was more important than the overwhelming presence of your fiancé. and at that nanami felt daggers shooting into his chest. it was his fault entirely but he couldn't help but feel hurt at your reluctance to meet his eyes.

"please look at me." nanami pleaded as he took one step closer. you let out a breath that you didn't even know you were holding in as you turned back his way. your eyes were glistening in tears yet looked dry in expression as you met his. the ones that would be lighting up with love as soon as you laid eyes on him now were the ones that offered nothing more than a look of somberness. "i wish i never acted the way i did towards you, i'm sorry." your nails dug into your palm as you fought back the tears that threatened to fall once more. one step closer. that was all it took for him to only be mere inches away from you. "i should have never said those things to you and i am so sorry, my love." you truly couldn't stand it. being so close to nanami and yet his hands were placed by his side. but you were mad at him, you felt so displeased with yourself and him that you didn't know, you didn't let yourself be comforted by being in his arms. however, nanami couldn't let you stand there, fighting yourself in complete silence as he watched the victorious tears fall down your cheek. he carefully brushed back strands of hair behind your ear before slowly bringing you in his arms.

and upon impact, you softened. your tense shoulders dropped but the sound of your crying only got louder into his chest. his work shirt was getting drenched but he didn't care. not when your muffled cries were the product of his actions. nanami stood silently as he ran his fingers through your hair, petting it calmly as an action to soothe you. "baby?" he called out when he noticed your cries started to get quiet. you hummed as a response, too scared to trust your voice. "look up at me." you pulled yourself from his chest, looking up at him with tearful eyes but nanami only took his thumb to wipe away the stray tears. "i love you" nanami softly smiled as he witnessed your first smile of the night. "i love you too, future husband." though the two of you weren't bashful of the nicknames as before, it was used as a way to ground yourself. that after everything, nanami was still here, ever so hopelessly in love with you. "i'm sorry i've been so caught up in work recently. but let's go home and figure something out, okay? we are a team and i'll make sure it feels that way." you nodded as laced your hands around his torso. "okay."

[hella1975]

hella could you spear some sakuatsu fics i’m having a sakuatsu brainrot and i trust your opinion

YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN I HAVE NO JOKE READ HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF WORDS WORTH OF SAKUATSU FICS THESE PAST FEW WEEKS AND I SHOW NO SIGNS OF STOPPING OKAY LET'S GO

ATSU101: how to fall in love with your fake boyfriend by solyn - this was THE sakuatsu fic for me. i literally hadnt heard of the ship before and i didnt even like atsumu at the time lmaoo (now i think i kin him which is... mortifying). honestly i aspire to be as funny as this author. this fic just sucked me in and i read the whole thing so quickly. the fake-dating au we all wanted. it’s hilarious but also touching, and atsumu is so dense i almost screamed at my laptop but in the fun ‘reading a slowburn’ kind of way

finders keepers by solyn - after the above fic i checked out the rest of this author’s works and found this. god i love this fic so fucking much. it’s hilarious and heart-warming and insightful and it made me want to face the world again at a time when i might have preferred hiding away a little longer. sakusa is babysitting his sister’s kids and ALL of them run away from him while in the middle of tokyo, leading him and the Handsome Stranger Currently Witnessing His Mental Breakdown to go on an adventure around the city to find them all again, falling in love in the process. the cameos of the other haikyuu characters are also golden, particularly iwaoi bc i adore them. just. read it. you won’t regret it

play among the stars by buttonstuck - i read this in a single day when i was travelling the other week and i have NO regrets. i absolutely love sakusa's characterisation in this and while i love atsumu being an oblivious dork in fics, him being clever scratches a really specific itch in my brain and this fic did not disappoint. also even just the premise is so fucking genius? i know the author was very open that a lot of inspo was from the martian but i still couldn't have written this in a million years. they are stuck on the MOON together. and initially that made me unsure bc it sounded quite far-fetched but i am so glad i took a chance and read this

three sheets to the wind by fairycake - PIRATE AU!!! this was written so well it genuinely could have been a published book and i wouldn't have questioned it. the characterisation of EVERYONE is just done so well that it was totally immersive, especially kagehina's interactions genuinely felt canon. i also literally almost got emotional about the ending bc it's so much more than just a sakuatsu fic, it's also about finding your dream and learning to live for yourself and there's found family and UGH

insert coin to play by fairycake - same author as above and the fic im currently reading. it's still being updated which is exciting and when i tell you ive read almost all of it today alone holy shit i got SUCKED IN. i wouldn't normally have clicked on this just bc the tags looked like it was just honestly gonna be smut (which ive noticed is a trend with sakuatsu but whatever) but i trust this author after three sheets to the wind and they did NOT disappoint. i had no reason to worry about the tags bc im almost caught up and all they've done is kiss and threaten to kill each other, i genuinely think atsumu's presence just requires it's own onslaught of tags lmao. i think this might be my favourite sakuatsu fic so far? and im not even finished yet? the plot is just so well thought out that it could genuinely be a real book and i wouldn't question it, and there's moments of humour that have genuinely cracked me up and holy shit the characterisation. THE! CHARACTERISATION! their banter and the enemies to lovers and the tension is just *screams*. this is professional level writing. also the wholesome miya twin content. i just. 'if you're gonna die, die where i can find you' what if i started sobbing uncontrollably. I JUST REALISED I NEVER EVEN SAID WHAT THIS IS ABOUT it's such a cool premise this author never misses. it's a cyberpunk universe where omi and atsumu are bounty hunters! and they're each other's biggest rivals! but then they have to work together against a common enemy aRE YOU SEEING THIS SHIT-

burden of blame by deathbelle - this is another fic where the characterisation and enemies to lovers was just fucking nailed. like idk what it is about sakuatsu writers that just makes them hit the target EVERY FUCKING TIME but i want what they're having. give me enemies to lovers where they actually want each other dead and go from that all the way to being willing to burn the city down for each other. that's what burden of blame and insert coin to play do super super well. burden of blame is a really big one for the ship but if you haven't read it, it's a yakuza au where atsumu goes under the protection of the gang sakusa's in and they're forcefully partnered. the plot is so well thought out and there's a twist that literally made me pace my fucking room when i got to it. it's just so good and i ADORE both sakusa and the miya twins characterisations in this (im a sucker for wholesome miya twin content if you cant tell and this didn't disappoint)

clipped to you by littleboat - this is actually just a one-shot but it is fucking ADORABLE and i have been utterly obsessed with the 'sakusa wears hair clips' hc ever since. like just. the mental imagery. the mental imagery. atsumu never stood a chance

[randomsmilingpotatoes]

2 x 06 !!!!!

- yeah royal family this is a BIG problem from august hahah

- does Alexander really have to say that to every single person he wakes up help

- OMG is he about to use Alexander to take down wille . lowkey smart move but FUCK NO

- omg willes gonna end up asking simon not to go and it’s gonna end up being like last time😭

- yes pls break up with Marcus

- yeah they’re both right here. Just pls break up

- damnnnn okay. i don’t think Simon gets off on drama but okay it probably does look that way to Marcus oof

- oh what the FUCK not blaming Alexander AGAIN

- no Alexander , I don’t care how mad you are at wille don’t DO this

- FUCK not the drugs AS WELL that gets Simon😭

- felice is such a good friend I just wish Sara was the same😭

- GOOD. See he’s a SHIT person I’m so glad felice knows now though

- OH MY GOD THEYRE GONNA KNOW ABOUT SARA NOW YES YES YES

- THIS IS NOT SAFE HAPPENING AT A SHOOTING RANGE.

- oh my god WILLE

- okay I’m kinda scared wille please don’t actually shoot him it’s not worth the consequences even if it is covered up😭

- I am SO glad simon was there to hear Sara say that. Fuck that’s gonna hurt

- what a SHIT excuse. “You’re despicable” THANKS FELICE YES YES YES

- good.

- wait so NOW Sara doesn’t trust him?? I mean,,, good I guess?? Only bc she finally felt the consequences of her own actions though.

- oh I wish wille and Simon could’ve talked about that:( and I wish the hug worked:((( but honestly that is a LOT for Simon and he probably needs to talk to his mum or friends://

- that school sign again

- I mean. I’m glad his mum and dad actually hugged him at least

- good simon talking to ayub and rosh🥺

- omg not telling his mum bc he doesn’t want to break her heart:(((

- everythiNg he said and the “but it’s not enough” 😭

- YES felice switch rooms!!!!!

- yes exactly!!!

- omg she is NOT about to out Stella are you fucking kidding me

- YES felice

- omg how are they stuck in the same room let felice live with Madison😭

- the FaceTime call with ayub🥺 I love friends

- oh sara left!! good but also where is she lowkey she can’t go home with Simon either

- why did I think she was actually gonna go back to august for a second

- SEASON ONE SONG

- wait I just had a thought what if after all this Sara is gonna go back and stay with Micke

- “it’s not worth tearing our families apart… I don’t want him to ruin what we’ve got” 😭😭

- oh my god I’m literally about to cry they’re on the same page and can be together😭😭😭😭

- I LOVE YOU. HE SAID IT HE SAID IT HE SAID IT HE SAID IT😭😭😭😭

- SARA is gonna be the one to report it????

- omg I was MESMERISED DURING THAT SPEECH. he had the opportunity and he took it😭😭 im so fucking proud😭😭 was worried for a second Simon wasn’t happy about that but they smiled I’m so happy😭 they can fight their battles together next seasonnnnnnn

but holy shit what are the consequences SEASON THREEEEEEE

[elysianslove]

Hi! <3 I'm the roomate hc anon again (lol) and can I request best friends to lovers hc for iwaizumi, kuroo and oikawa? Also this blog is gonna blow up soon so remember me when you're famous bro 😌✊️❤️

OMG HI AGAIN! i’m so sorry this is late :( but oh my the excitement that flooded through me when i saw this request hsvhjsd. i really hope you enjoy this!! also vshdks i luv u bb THANK YOU.

iwaizumi hajime

im making these as detailed as fuck so i apologize in advance <3

becoming best friends with hajime was a very out of the blue thing 

the two of you shared a lot of classes together, and since you were always seeing each other, you’d choose each other as partners a lot 

you’d sit next to him in all the classes that you could

you’d meet up a lot during school breaks and just hang out 

you two clicked very well honestly, like you found that it was so easy to talk to him, and it was so easy to lose yourself in the conversation 

most of your convos are v mature and sophisticated too like

it’s nice when you can talk to someone on the same brain wavelength as you yk 😼

anyways overtime you’d come to his practice sessions, and even if they were long you’d just stay and watch bc why not

if you had hw to do and he noticed you were a lil stressed about it, he’d tell u to come study while he practiced as a change of scenery and all 

he’d walk you home almost every night at this point

oikawa noticing and being jealous <3 

“they’re stealing you from me!” “they’re not— what is wrong with you oikawa.” 

okay so this best friend stuff has been going on for a long time

long enough for you to realize you wanted more from him

but this is iwaizumi hajime and it’s almost impossible to know what he’s thinking 

like

ever 

so you just keep it to yourself, thinking it’s just a small crush and it’s not worth ruining what the two of you have at this rate 

so all this had happened first year, and when you’re nearing the end of your second year

that’s when you realize that

shit

it’s not just a crush

and when you have feelings for someone, every little thing they do expands a million times in your head

so a hug from him that you’d once never go over twice has you thinking about it as you go to sleep

the hoodies he’d lend you during practice while you stayed in the gym bc it was ungodly cold in there now send tingles down your spine at the lingering scent of him

the way he’d grab your hand to drag you somewhere now leave a heavy effect on your palm, forcing you to trace it once he’s gone 

his texts give you butterflies 

every time his name pops up on your phone screen you have a mini heart attack

and yeah

those are all symptoms of a crush

but is a crush meant to last this long? 

at the start of your third year, you greet him outside of the school gates after not seeing you all summer

he smiles so bright and hugs you so, so tightly 

you already are so hyperaware of how strong iwa is

but the feelings you have for him that won’t go away are so not helping your fixation on the feel of his biceps 

anyways before this becomes v nsfw 

you two catch up like u had met yesterday 

and then at the end of the day, after practice, which you stay for bc u missed ur vbc boys 🥺

he walks you home 

like always

and as he stands by your front door, in a burst of courage, he takes your hand in his and pulls you harshly towards him, pushing his body against yours and capturing your lips in a heated kiss

it’s so messy and harsh and you pretty much collided 

but holy shit

you were pretty sure fireworks erupted when you two kissed

years of pining and what had felt like unrequited love finally being resolved 

it’s the most satisfying feeling ever

you never want to stop kissing him

but alas </3 

when he pulls back, you’re both breathing so heavily 

you’re not sure if it’s the adrenaline or the kiss itself 

and he just looks at you and goes “did u tan while you’re away ur eyes look brighter” 

no sir i am in love with you

when you two officiate things 

he’s actually way shyer than he was as best friends??? 

like as best friends he wouldn’t feel slightly weird about hugging you in public or grabbing at your hand randomly or being seen alone with you

but now like

people know ??? and somehow that scares iwa 

or makes him uncomfortable 

idk he just feels iffy

but ur so understanding bless ur heart <3 

ur so careful with him and take it at his own pace 

zero pda at the start of the relationship 

like he won’t even wanna hug u in front of the seijoh team 

but slowly he warms up 

and he starts getting more comfortable with things like hand holding and occasional pecks on the cheek/lips 

your traditions as best friends don’t die as lovers 

if anything you believe in them even more 

now you watch more diligently during practice 

you proudly attend his games in his jersey, cheering the loudest for him (and for the rest of the boys bc they: best) 

walks home with you are so much more serene 

always gives you a kiss before he parts ways 

idk it’s like some sort of commemoration for your first kiss/confession 

unless you invite him inside 😏

this is so fucking long im so sorry i just love iwa 

anyways anybody want boyfriend!iwa headcanons i got a lot hehe 

to conclude, it was so gradual and inevitable with the two of you, and you’re forever glad it happened when it did and you hadn’t rushed anything <3333

oikawa tōru

unlike hajime, this wasn’t something that took one or two years

this bitch couldn’t admit he was in love with you for like 10 years okay 

you’ve known him for the majority of your life, because you’d always lived in close proximity to each other 

but you were never best friends yk? just acquaintances 

it was around the end of middle school when you two got close

cause you saw he was applying to aoba johsai for high school

and you were like !!! i’m going there too 

at first he was like stop copying me 😾 

you guys had a staring contest bc y’all are idiots and there were legit tears streaming down ur face but u were not about to lose to a pissbaby like him

he blinked 😁👍🏼

and he lost 

and then he decided “you’re my best friend now ” 

anyways aside iwa, he now had someone else he was going into high school with

like it’s a completely new environment but he had two people he very much liked going with him !!! 

when the time came around to like apply for/join clubs, you had been so clueless 

but toru stuck by you !! and he was so adamant on helping you !! 

he would sit with you after school as he practiced tossing with hajime and just brainstorm with you what you liked to do

it’s what brought you two closer together

cause you realized just how many things in common you had with him 

for a full week he tried to help you come up with something

for the sake of this hc let’s say u decide to join the newsletter club 

you’re very wary at first but then he’s like when ur part of it you’ll visit the vbc regularly so u can take pictures/observe to write essays 

the fact that toru would be there kinda set you at ease 

now you’ve never seen toru play properly 

he’s practiced in front of you before

plenty of times

but a proper match? or a practice one? 

never 

so it’s safe to say u were in awe when you got assigned to go watch a practice match against (idk pick a school) 

it’s embarrassing to admit but your eyes were on him the entire time 

thank god he became the captain later on else it’d be so sus 

you really tried to pay attention to anybody else lmfao 

it’s kinda what drew you to him more

you still didn’t really have feelings

you only realized just how passionate he is about everything 

at some point you had an essay to write for your newsletter about the volleyball club

but you were having a hard time like really getting into it

so you immediately just called toru and were like “help 😃” 

he came over and you asked him a bunch of questions, and he would go on deadass 20 min rants for each of them

you were just 

so amazed 

like how could someone have so much passion for something like this?

you realize how but that’s for later

overtime you two got closer bc of how much your work was associated with him

he’s incredible as a best friend 

he’s the first one with the school’s weekly newsletter as soon as it’s out

granted it’s to read the section about him but yk, the sentiment’s there 

also love, love, loves lazy days with you 

he doesnt even care if the boys know that he worships the chick flicks you two watch 

i feel like oikawa would be an avid anime watcher

idk why i just do 

so he’d be blasting anime theme songs on a speaker as you’re in the shower and he’s in your room waiting for you and you’re both just singing w the sound of water rushing down 

actually it’s not just anime songs it’s all songs 

a l l songs 

anyways

so you two get really close, and then he has a super important match coming up 

let’s say it’s the spring interhigh one against karasuno

the one they won

idk im just choosing at random 

and the night before he’s like begging you on text to wear his jersey

he’s like PLEASE NO ONE’S EVER DONE THAT FOR ME

you’re like bruh u have a cult following ????? 

but eventually u say yes

ur not really sure where it’s coming from but this is oikawa he’s an unpredictable as can be

when you show up in a jersey he so conveniently left at your house once

he’s so genuinely shocked even though he was the one that asked for this???

gives you the biggest hug like spins you around and just 

“you’re my lucky charm” 

when he wins 

after celebrating with his team

he runs over to you

and just

he kisses you

full on the mouth

it’s probably the rush and excitement of winning that gave him the courage to finally spill all his feelings out into this kiss

you’re in his jersey, in the stands and you genuinely feel like it’s only just the two of you

despite how sudden it was the kiss is so gentle, like he’d been planning it since forever 

“i told you you’re my lucky charm” he says as he rests his forehead against yours and kisses you gently again

oikawa had already been affectionate as your best friend

always displaying his love outwardly with like always calling out your name so loud whenever he sees you and giving you bone crushing hugs

deadass his 6’0 self will just jump on you 

but now it’s extra

makki always gags around the two of you but you just stick ur tongue out at him and go “ur just mad ur best friend’s getting some pussy/dick and ur not” 

makki then proceeds to shriek at you like a fucking banshee <3 

anyways 

yes 

oikawa best friends to lovers excellence is so cute eeeekkk

and now u always wear his jersey at games 

(u couldnt make it to the game against karasuno where they lost for whatever reason and he held it against u for the longest time)

(“maybe if a certain someone were there we wouldn’t have lost”)

what a big baby you love him

kuroo tetsurō

AH SEXY CHEMISTRY NERD 👅👅👅

kuroo as ur best friend 

im frothing 

i feel like you’d grow close after meeting at an event or something 

like you’re a friend of a friend of a friend 

i see kuroo as someone who’s so suave and cool and flirty with people he doesn’t have feelings for

but put the crush factor in and he’s a mess

like his brain just stops working

so when he first met you

he thought u were so fucking hot 

but that’s it

his lower body was doing all the thinking <3 

so he was so flirty 

and that’s essentially what your friendship is built off of 

and when friends are so flirty with each other, they generally grow close and trust each other really quickly 

ur not a nekoma student but ur in tokyo so you meet up often 

you just

it’s so nice to be around him

you find it so easy to just be yourself around him 

going out with him is super fun 

and a lot of the times you guys have study dates and you literally don’t talk except during the 10 min breaks you two take

it’s just hyper focus for the two of you which is great

he really channels the best student in you what a man ! 

i think during your third year of high school you two got insanely close

because you were highly unsure if you were gonna leave japan or stay 

so you wanted to make the most out of everything 

so you’d go out with him more often

he’d stay during the weekends and you two would like bake christmas goods all night even if it’s literally september lmfao

cuddling is so natural 

like you’re both so touchy with each other but not in a weird way just a super comfortable kind of way

like if you’re shorter than him, he’s always leaning his arm on you like you’re his arm rest 

it’s a win win bc he gets to touch you and tease you

wow the horny really jumped out in that one

anyways

you go to every single one of his games !!

cheer him on so!! fucking!! loud!!

you probably make a provocative sign and stand a chair and just wave it around and kuroo’s so heart eyes lmfao

the climb up to becoming lovers is so

natural? 

i think kuroo first realizes that maybe, yk, he wants those flirtatious comments to mean something and those random touches to hold more romantic value to them, when you two are out together

it’s a completely chill day and it’s not really warm not really chilly. you’re just comfortable 

he takes you to a park after buying the both of you ice cream from the stand across the street and sits down at a bench with you

just people watching 

and then it kinda goes really silent

but 

it’s not awkward??? like at all???

he’s not looking to fill the silence with any random words

he’s just

enjoying simply being with you

and he glances at you momentarily and it hits him like so hard just how pretty you are 

his eyes slightly widen like

holy fuck

what the f u ck

remember when i said he’s all cool until feelings come into play

yeah 😼

he literally freezes up and blurts out, without even meaning to, “i think i have feelings for you.” 

he really didnt even process he said that

you kinda

pause for a second

and then you realize what you said and you just smile and lean over towards him, lifting your thumb up to the corner of his lips and brushing away some ice cream

“you think?” you tease, and then at the spot where the ice cream was misplaced, you placed a gentle kiss

he kinda relaxes and then eyes you as he says, “i know.” 

it is just. heaven after that

i think the two of you would be less flirty around each other once becoming official 

like yeah he definitely comments once or twice every now and then and don’t get me wrong, so do you

but it’s just less frequent 

like a blanket has been lifted to uncover the true, hidden meanings behind the comments and you can now just breathe easier 

you two end up in the same uni on accident hevejsk

like you had a long ass talk about how it’s okay if you didn’t end up in the same uni you’d still make it work

and it would’ve worked tbh

fate just ships you two too much

when you told each other you were literally that spiderman meme of the two spidermen pointing at each other lmao

power couple of the uni

power couple of tokyo

power couple of japan

you’re literally so happy with him you wouldn’t trade him for the world 

and maybe you saw it coming 

but it still remains a shock whenever you wake up and he’s there laying next to you, smiling lazily at you before reaching over to give you a gentle kiss 

anyways happy early birthday king i love you kuroo hehe

end note; i really had a lotta fun w this one omg!! thank you again for requesting, anon, and i hope everybody else enjoyed!! feel free to request, mwah <3

[yostresswritinggirl]

ITS THE RETURN OF *checks notes* PAPILLON (🦋) ANON

I just wanted to thank you for being such a huge comfort blog during covid your posts got me through a really rough time :’) this community was so fun to be a part of and I’m glad there are still some familiar faces around

I, ON THE OTHER HAND, COMPLETELY REINVENTED MYSELF!!! I chopped all my hair off bc I decided that having sexy hair was not worth the sensory issues and also because I love the way a pixie looks on me (my head isn’t a weird shape like I thought it was) and once I started going to school in-person again I met a bunch of new people and recovered from isolating myself for an entire year and I’m WAY MORE CONFIDENT NOW

I actually took quite a large break from playing Genshin around my second semester last year and I only now started playing because Cyno came out👁 (I have been waiting for him since the trailer I LOVE HIM A NORMAL AMOUNT)

I actually joke pulled on Tighnaris banner because I wanted to get collei and umm I got collei,,, but I also got fox boy,, and then keqing so I had a guaranteed Cyno. I think this was Genshins way of bribing me to start playing again😭 it worked. I finished a bunch of quests I’d been putting off and I’m getting closer to starting the Sumeru archon quest ! !

Anyways today felt like a fitting day to come back from the dead because I literally had the most perfect day and it made me realize how far I’d come since my days as an anon in ur blog :’)

I hope everything is going good on your end as well and I’m glad your posting again (btw how’s that psychology major coming along?)

- Papillon 🦋

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT PAPILLON ANON, THE GODS HAVE BLESSED US TODAY FR

aaaaaa you're so sweet as ever, thank you too for keeping me company during the covid era, honestly it still feels like the pandemic is still rampant here but that's just me stuck inside at this point. but ah!! im so happy you're alive and better than ever! Oh look at you all, really growing up and finding your identities, even if it's been just what - almost two years i just feel so proud of you all for making it through the worst parts of our era and turning out for the best *wipes tears* Ah motherly tears

That makes you, me, and some others who also came back for Cyno! It's like the second coming or some shit lmao we love our boyo eventhoughiendeduppullingfornilouandsimpingforherhard

Oh please get that archon quest going, make sure to pace yourself by the way cuz that shit takes HOURS but it is SO WORTH

Again again, so happy you found your way back, I missed you just the same! And that ahah I graduated back in July! I'm now getting ready to take my board exam to have my professional license, four hours+ every saturday and sunday for 6 months hence why im quiet during the weekends but it's going well!

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Jane Foster’s child

Jane Foster x child!reader

Thor Odinson x Foster!child!reader

warnings:

a/n: no not a foster child, jane foster’s child 😌 also im so super glad you liked those!!! hope these are just as good!!! and im genuinely so sorry these took so long

prompt: anonymous: “Hey! I just read the Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader HC and I loved it! Would you do the same but with Thor and Jane? ❤️”

no babysitter = go to work with mom

dr. selvig gave you a rubik’s cube to keep you entertained

“fuck that! here, y/n, you can play my DS” -darcy

“can you not swear in front of my child?” -jane

you thought tonight would be boring, but then your mom and darcy collectively hit a homeless guy with a car!

“holy crap, we’re all going to jail!” -you

“don’t say ‘crap,’ y/n! we need to get him to a hospital!” -jane

ngl this dude was kinda funky

darcy used her taser and your mom covered your eyes, but you still peaked ;)

ride to the hospital

“don’t touch him, y/n”

“sorry, doc”

and the very next day you guys stole him 💕

“mr. thor, where are you from?”

“i am from asgard! it is much different from this realm, but your’s is adequate, i suppose”

“thanks?”

you could see the way your mom looked at him, though

he ate all the pop tarts >:(

she gave thor her ex boyfriends clothes

“yeah, donald was a real ass—” -you

“don’t say ‘ass.’ darcy curses too much” -jane

“sorry, mom...anyways, donald forgot to pick me up from soccer practice like, a dozen times. he sucked” -you

“this ‘donald’ doesn’t seem like a very good man...also, what is ‘soccer?’” -thor

you grabbed a soccer ball and tried to show him how to play but there was some other stuff the *scientists* had to take care of

you were a regular at izzy’s diner (well, mom was) and they always made you cute pancakes in different shapes!!

“ah, it’s a smiley face! that’s adorable!” -thor

“yeah! they like to surprise me whenever i come in. they’re pretty awesome” -you

*your mom literally beaming at how good thor is with you already*

you and thor were drawing on paper placemats

and then he broke a glass and you started giggling hdhshshs

but he had to leave

“no, thor, please don’t go!”

“i hope to meet you again one day, little one. hopefully fate sees it through”

:((((

no time to be sad bc ur mom’s lab got hijacked by the government

“hey, no fair! that’s my diary!” -you

“sorry, kid. there are constellation drawings we have to observe” -coulson

“aw, you draw constellations? wait, not now. you can’t just take all our stuff. especially that! that belongs to a child!” -jane

“sic ‘em, y/n!” -darcy

“don’t listen to darcy, y/n” -selvig

chilling in the trailer and missing thor bc he was the most interesting thing to happen to you and your mom in a while

and you wanted her to be happy even tho he was kind of crazy

“hey, mom? do you want to watch the stars tonight like we used to do? we could make s’mores?”

“that sounds like a great idea, baby! i’ve gotta go take care of some science stuff, so i’ll pick up some s’mores stuff while i’m out. love you!”

yeah she went to go see thor and he kinda got arrested but your mom came back home so you could watch the stars!

“so, do you like thor?” -you

“what? what makes you say that?” -jane

“it’s cool if you do, i think he’s awesome. a little weird, but at least he’s nice”

then thor and selvig came home and selvig was drunk as a skunk

*poking him while he giggles and tells you about thor*

“i wish your grandfather could have met that guy! he would have loved him...i wish you met your grandfather, too” -selvig

thor inviting you back outside

“i’d like you to teach me more about this ‘soccer’”

by the time you guys were done, it was 3am and you were too pumped to go to sleep

so thor told you stories of his home and battle and family

you didn’t want him to stop, you were fascinated by it all

and uhhhh yeah then earth kinda had some vikings show up

they told you that you’d “make a fine warrior one day”

and then yall got attacked by a ????? a what??? a destroyer???????

“get y/n out of here now! they shouldn’t have to see this!” -thor

you were still nearby and saw thor become thor again

after he was done fighting the destroyer, you ran to give him a hug

“that was awesome! can i hold your hammer?”

“maybe someday, little one”

then you didn’t see him for 2 years

which upset your mom a good bit, you had to help her through that episode. lots of sitting on the couch and eating ice cream together talking about how he wasn’t worth her time even tho you missed him too

but he came back! and then your mom sent everything flying bc she had an “infinity stone” inside her and thor took you two to asgard

“y/n! you’ve grown so much, i almost didn’t recognize you!” -thor

tbh you really digged the outfit they gave you, but also you were on another planet? thor insisted on giving you a tour (by flying you around)

“i do hope you’re having fun, little one!”

worrying about your mom simultaneously bc you overheard she was sick

but asgard got attacked and you and jane were confined to a room in the palace, which sucked because you wanted to see it all

but thor sent guards to bring you anything to keep you entertained

“maybe we’ll skip the mace for now, thank you” -jane

after several events that count as child endangerment, this chapter came to an end and your mom and thor finally made it official

loki called you a rodent and then saved your life so you were kinda iffy about him

about a year or two later, your mom had to travel a great deal in order to get some work done, so you were left in the care of thor, who took you to avengers tower

“oh, my girlfriend’s child is an angel! and they’re so intelligent, just like their mother!” -thor gushing to other partygoers

“yeah, thor, your ‘angel’ is sneaking drinks from the elderly” -tony

*sipping his beer* “they’re a growing teenager”

you did have an amazing time interacting with the avengers

and once they tried grabbing the hammer, you knew you had to get in on it (but you failed like the rest)

“don’t worry, my y/n, you have to be eighteen years of age to be able to lift mjölnir!” -thor

“oh, that makes sense!” -you, while thor aggressively shakes his head at the other avengers. he just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel bad you weren’t worthy yet :(

more child endangerment but really what did you expect?

thor went off world and your mom split it off w him but you did have his email so you were still in contact with him

swearing you saw odin on the street once or twice (fast forward)

and then your mom dusted and thor found you as soon as he possibly could, it was so good to see him

he took you in since you were alone now, you moved to new asgard and became prince(ss) of the new land by relation?? makes sense right

basically you and valkyrie made all the calls while thor grieved for years

but he still took care of you

“y/n, would you like to play video games with me? i think it may be a good bonding experience, what do you say?” -thor

“duh!”

uncle korg made you help him with fortnite while thor was asleep

you wished to wield stormbreaker one day

showing thor earth media! his favorite star wars character is r2-d2 dont ask why

he taught you asgardian recipes and you taught him...earth recipes?

when he was drunk he’d ramble on about his childhood and battle and enemies and jane and loki and hela and frigga and literally anything that came to mind

“y/n, could you please get me a beer? and get one for yourself, too” -thor

valkyrie most definitely gave you some battle training so you you blow off some steam, you were glad she taught you how to fight like a true warrior

thor wanted to teach you battle tactics so you could fight alongside him, but he never got around to it

a raccoon and bruce banner visited later on, proposing a way to get your family back, thor was an emotional wreck

his debriefing on the reality stone was tense when he started crying about your mom and everyone stared at you

“hey, don’t look at me. i don’t control the god, i just keep him company”

ending up waiting 1 second for the avengers to come back from their mission, resulting in you being stuck in the middle of a very heavy battle

“y/n, get out of here!” -thor

“don’t worry, thor! valkyrie taught me a few moves!”

“you make me incredibly proud, little one!”

“i’m not so little anymore, am i?”

“you will always be my little one, y/n. blood or not, that will not change!”

victory, but at what cost? it was a rough ride, you needed to get patched up, but your mom was finally home and thor...he decided it was time to leave earth again

“don’t worry, my y/n. i will see you again.” *tearing up* “i’m so glad i got the pleasure of raising you these past few years. i love you dearly, now go be with your mother”

you straight up wanted to bawl your eyes out right there

“well, y/n, you’re next in line for the throne of new asgard. what is your first command?” -valkyrie

“actually, i think you’d make a much better ruler than me. i’ve got to spend some time with my mother now that she’s home”

“you’re so much like him, you know that?”

staying with your mother, who was diagnosed with cancer not long after returning from the soul stone (a/n: jane getting cancer is canon in the comics and confirmed for thor 4)

“i missed five years of your life and now i’m sick, that’s just our luck, isn’t it?” -jane

she was understandably upset, but she also felt guilty

“mom, don’t beat yourself up. everything is okay, we’re still together right now. i won’t be going anywhere, i promise”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck //

[simpingforthisonedeer]

Chapter 7: Silver

Summary: tw: non-graphic suicide attempt but other than that, the chapter is completely sfw. The final battle with the diamond kingdom.

Notes:

- Today's chapter is shorter than usual bc im working on making the other chapters sfw so rewriting scenes, deleting them, making some stuff into innuendo etc so more people could read.

- I like to write bit more for the side characters because everyone's the main character of their story but they are relevant to the plot trust me ;)

- Be sure to check the notes at the end <3

Aika danced between spells aimed at visible enemies as she strolled towards Julius’ general direction. She took mental notes of his general attitude on the battlefield as she fiddled with her amulet, the same one she used in the Headquarters to move around unnoticed. The Amulet of Ignorance, the single most expensive magic relic Aika possessed, didn’t make her invisible, but it rather made everyone ignore her presence. If anyone were to look in her general direction, their eyes would glaze over and their gaze would move elsewhere.

Her own gaze landed on Julius’ figure, whipping around too quickly for ordinary eyes to track, but her eyes and brain processed images faster than any other man, except perhaps the only other Time Mage. She focused on observing his technique as she ignored the pangs in her heart. It’s been a week but he was still fresh on her mind.

Aika wondered if he would end up being one of her regrets.

She sighed heavily and put her feelings aside for the moment.

Julius may seem like all sunshine and smiles, but on the battlefield, he was vicious as he made split-second decisions and cut down enemies with efficiency. Clouds of enemies-turned-dust flew around him like an Augury, warning any and all of their fate if they foolishly chose to fight him. She noticed how he used the Chronostasis over a large area and immobilized enemies, but the spell only expanded so far if it touched someone first.

“He could improve that technique with mana method,” Aika thought as she moved her attention over to Evan and Jayce who insisted on fighting. Evan with his Hellfire Magic was raining literal hellfire on the enemy troops while Jayce with his peculiar Shape Magic deftly changed the terrain to his advantage as he tested out his newfound swordsmanship. Aika’s lips quirked up in pride.

He insisted she teach him herself but she was reluctant at first because as much as he was a genius, he was incredibly lazy. But Aika caved into his puppy-dog eyes and taught him the basics but he quickly developed his own style with the foundational knowledge and wielded his strangely-shaped sword quite well. He was no match for Aika due to her decades of experience but most mages these days don’t know how to counter swords well so he was pretty deadly on the battlefield.

Aika sidestepped a falling body as she winced at the mage in pity. It was an enemy mage, but she muttered a little prayer nonetheless to ensure his soul would rest in peace. Perhaps she should start praying after battle again. She used to sing a hymn in her fighting days to ensure the battlefield wouldn’t be tainted by restless souls and she could deign to do it again.

Right as she came to a decision about which prayer to use, an arrow struck her chest, more specifically her precious amulet. She stared in shock at the archer who had even detected her in the sea of mana. The masked archer lowered their bow and looked at Aika almost tauntingly before disappearing behind a hoard of mages charging at each other.

She wanted to go after them, but her first priority was to dodge the mages who turned on her because a mysterious woman just materialized out of thin air. She didn’t even have any identifiers such as a crest or a uniform, so as far as everyone is concerned, she was their enemy. She was glad that her scarf at least covered the bottom half of her face.

Aika cursed when she noticed from the corner of her eye that Evan had begun his ultimate spell. 

Another reason why she was observing today’s battle was to contain the range of Evan’s spell, “Hell on Earth,” but this was not the time. She tucked the broken amulet and arrow into her cloak pocket and shot up into the sky with a sigh. She loved her amulet, but she could afford to mourn later.

Aika threw her hood over her head until it covered her eyes and spread her biggest Mana Zone spell—Queen’s Domain—until it encompassed the whole battlefield. She peeled off her black leather gloves, which suppressed her mana, and unleashed her aura of forbidden magic and smirked at the poor bastard who fell out of the sky when he neared her on his broom. The three horns that sprouted from her forehead lifted the cloak and her vision zoomed in on the growing sphere of blue flames, swelling and stopping at the impossible size of 100 meters wide in the distance.

Everyone on the battlefield froze as they stared in dumbfounded awe at the second Sun in the sky. The silence was deafening, but it only served to make the ringing in Aika’s ears louder as she concentrated on immersing her mana into the sphere and ousting Evan’s out.

Mana existed on a different plane, another realm if you will, but it had the special ability to affect other realms while staying in its own. But the opposite isn’t allowed. Controlling mana that wasn’t your own or in a way that wasn’t permitted by your magic was forbidden by the Gods themselves. In fact, interfering with other realms outside the limitations of your own given magic is forbidden magic.

Aika didn’t believe in limitations. She knew her potential was endless, as characterized by her grimoire. She sacrificed parts of herself to break through the ceiling above her, so Gods be damned. They can’t stop her.

A feral grin spread across her face as the Blue Sun slowly began moving as per her command. She controlled her breathing as she controlled two large spells simultaneously. One spell moved the flames, the other was Queen’s Domain, which combined with a sliver of forbidden magic, froze enemies in place at the sheer amount of fear coursing through their veins. She moved closer to the Diamond troops that were about to be annihilated for better control.

This magic brought out the worst in her, and right now, it relished in the screams that filled the air as the army in front of her lit up in flames. Aika ignored the ugly feeling and concentrated on her breathing again as she prayed. They even sounded like the damned.

Aika thought the battle had ended at the horrific scene she had created, but the Spade Kingdom joined the fray, forcing Master Raymond, the Wizard King himself, to join as well. After she had made sure Evan was safely off the field to recuperate his mana, she stayed high in the sky, away from most of the spells as she continued to observe Julius while keeping an eye out for the assassin who broke her precious amulet. Her heart nearly stopped when giant tree roots whipped around her to strike at the ground. How in the world was she supposed to expect roots to sprout from the sky?

As she maneuvered around them, she watched as the eye-catching hair of the Captain of the Silver Eagles fluttered in the distance. To her absolute shock, the man stayed completely still right before spikes of hard rock impaled him. Aika shot towards him with a bone-rattling bang and caught him right before he collapsed. A young man, that was the mirror image of Captain Silva, raised his spears of fluid metal at her, ready to strike but she froze him where he stood with a stasis spell of hers.

“Miss Tolliver?” Lord Silva breathed as blood dribbled down his chin. Aika’s weg vanished as worry and empathy filled her. She quickly threw up shields around them as she rewound the time until the spikes disappeared back into the ground.

“Yes, It’s me. Everything’s going to be fine. I can heal you—”

“No!” he exclaimed, then let out a violent cough. She stared at him in horror at the implication of his words and actions. “I don’t want to be healed,” he whispered, confirming her suspicions.

Aika began closing his wounds at a slow pace, slow enough so he wouldn’t notice.

“Why?” she asked mutely.

To her absolute shock, his stoic face crumpled as tears streamed like molten silver down his cheeks.

“I just want to see her again,” he choked out. He just wanted to see Acier again. 

His tears and the sheer heartbreak in words made her heart clench. Aika steeled her resolve. She wasn’t going to let him do it no matter his reasons.

“No life is worth more than your own,” she spat, caught up in her own emotions. His attempt to take his own life brought back memories she would rather forget.

The Captain slackened in her hold, unable to retort. She instantly healed his wounds and watched as the blood receded. Aika picked him up with a sigh as he quickly lost consciousness at the abrupt changes to his body. Healing fatal wounds in this manner wasn’t recommended but it was necessary during battle.

“Is he alright?” Julius’ voice piped up out of nowhere. Her heart leapt to her throat. She turned around and there he was, a few meters away, brows furrowed, and eyes full of worry before they widened in surprise when he realized who he was talking to.

“Aika…” 

The roar of the battle and the clanging in her head deafened as she took in his appearance. Wild hair, stormy eyes, blood-smeared cheeks and singed robes that whipped around in tandem to spells being hurled behind him. 

She felt a sort of burning betrayal as she cursed her foolish heart because only one thought echoed in her mind:

He was breathtaking.

“Aika!” He exclaimed in alarm.

Julius was suddenly up in her space, forearm pressed against her collarbone as he pushed her aside. He stopped a flaming spear aimed at her back in its tracks as he barked,

“She’s an ally! Stand down!”

The Crimson Lion magic knight lowered his grimoire and looked helplessly at the frozen man next to him.

“Aika, please undo your spell on Vice Captain Nozel,” he commanded softly as she stared at him, wide-eyed.

Her spell fell as per his request and Nozel stumbled into an upright position, an indignant expression strewn across his face as he turned to Aika.

“Who are you? ” he asked shakely, and cleared his throat with an embarrassed flush.

“She is an ally, ” Julius asserted firmly. “We’ll take the Captain to the medical tent and you continue leading your men, understood?”

“Yes, Sir.” Nozel threw one last look at Aika before he ordered his men to focus on the enemy.

Julius turned to her with a grim face. “I will take us to the tent, if you are ready.” She nodded curtly. He laid an arm on her shoulder and she was whisked away, her vision adjusting to find that she was facing the heavy drapery of the medical tent.

A few healing mages around them jumped in alarm but quickly realized the injured man in Aika’s arms. She was quickly led to an empty bed with privacy curtains and she laid Captain Silva on it carefully as the healers took over and diagnosed him.

She explained his injuries and that she healed him but they wanted to be sure just in case.

Aika stepped back to let them do their thing and looked around to find Julius worryingly examining Silva’s prone form. He looked up and their eyes met.

Strangely enough, there wasn’t a shred of awkwardness in their gaze, but an intimacy of silent understanding, a mutual decision to set their yearning aside in the face of this war.

They both smiled in relief, almost in unison. He cocked his head at her.

“No hard feelings?” He mouthed. Aika nodded back, her heart lighter.

“No hard feelings.”

“I have to go,” he announced quietly as he bowed his head. She nodded again, her mood souring once more as she stared at the unconscious man next to her. She watched his back as he moved to leave the tent from the corner of her eye. She clenched her fist as indecision rocked within her, but she finally gave in to her first instinct.

“Be careful,” Aika called out. Julius whipped around in surprise and a grin lit up his face.

“Of course!” he replied eagerly, happy that she was actually speaking to him. “See you around!” And he vanished.

His enthusiasm brought a smile to her face but her mood was quickly interrupted by the sound of crashing waves as the ground shook. She braced herself against the metal railing of the bed’s headboard as she let out a heavy sigh.

That must be her Uncle Raymond with his grandiose water spells that could wipe out armies. She just hoped he wouldn’t use his mana zone spell that could choke people. That spell horrified even her of all people.

She shrugged off her backpack which stayed secure under her cloak and whipped out a chair. She plopped onto it wearily and glared at the silver-haired man next to her as if he was the reason for all her problems.

Aika slipped her gloves back on and rubbed her face with a groan as memories of friends and fellow comrades who have stood still and let themselves be ripped apart flashed in her mind’s eye.

She knew she shouldn’t care. He was not a friend of hers. In fact, he was quite rude to her, but this needless worry and giving into the empathy reminded that after all these years that she wasn’t corrupted, that she was still alive, that she was still human.

Aika watched with a proud grin as one last final move from Julius concluded the battle. Cheers erupted across the whole field when the Magic Knights realized their victory.

The Captains, with the exception of Silva, and the Wizard King gathered with the Diamond Kingdom’s Shining Generals to negotiate the terms of surrender. She desperately wanted to eavesdrop on their discussion but General Whomalt was still alive by the end of this battle and Aika promised him that the next time she saw him, he would be dead.

She made her way back to the medical tent and Silva was already up and about. He sat up on his bed and stared at his blanket-covered lap as emotions raced across his face. She silently strode over to her chair by his bed and he made no indication that he noticed her but Aika knew he did. He was most likely embarrassed by his moment of vulnerability in front of a near-stranger but she didn’t particularly mind it.

She sat down patiently and waited for him to speak but they just sat in silence.

“We won,” Aika informed in a subdued tone.

He grunted. His response irked her but she held her cool.

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” She assured him kindly.

“See that you don’t,” he snapped at her. She held her tongue but couldn’t help but sneer at his tone. This was exactly why she didn’t work with the Magic Knights as closely. Most of them she had observed were quite rude and had a superiority complex. His attitude was only making her miss her amulet even more.

“Arian!” A familiar voice exclaimed as the tent flaps flew open. It was her Uncle. Mages and injured Magic Knights around her suddenly scrambled to attention as the Wizard King homed in on the silver-haired Captain.

“Sir,” the embarrassed Captain gritted out. He pulled out a folded piece of parchment paper as Aika and Raymond nodded at each other in acknowledgement. She would need to tell her uncle at the very least so she can make sure that he talked to someone.

“Are you alright, Arian?” The Praying Mantis Captain boomed as he walked right in after the Wizard King. He pointedly ignored him and the other Captains as they voiced their concerns as well. He tossed his blanket aside and stood up as he handed the paper to her uncle.

“My resignation, Raymond.”

“What?!” His eyes darted between Silva’s cool face and the crumpled paper. “But the war just ended! You have still got loose ends to tie up before the resignation.”

He adjusted his uniform gruffly as he said, “I’ll let the Vice Captain take care of it.” He pushed past the captains, eager to leave. “He is more than capable.” He turned and looked back one last time. “But now, I must say my goodbyes to the men that served me.”

“What's the hurry, Arian?!”

Raymond’s question was followed by silence as Silva left. Everyone watched tensely at the bizarre exchange that raised more questions than anything.

“Well,” the Blue Rose Captain began as she cleared her throat. “We did say that we were going to resign right after the battle.” Her sharp eyes turned to the Wizard King. “I will hand mine in, tonight.”

All Captains except one echoed her sentiments and Raymond’s shoulders fell as his age seemed to catch up to him.

“And I would be the last to resign,” he sighed. He looked up at Julius and everyone’s attention turned to the Wizard King to-be. “I hope you are ready, Julius.”

The young Captain stood up straighter, his eyes eager and attentive for the responsibility that will soon be thrust upon him. 

“Though, I hope you do like paperwork,” Raymond laughed, knowing very well he doesn’t. “Because there’s going to be three times more work.”

All formality melted away as Julius groaned at the thought and the Captains laughed.

Aika released the breath she didn’t she realized she was holding. She just witnessed history firsthand, yet again, but it all felt so new to her. She touched her chest. 

Oh.

It wasn’t newness, no. She had witnessed far too much to feel as if anything was new. It was actually the gratitude that set her heart racing.

Notes:

- In the future, Julius will get character development, because as lovely as he is as a person, he can't be a centrist as a leader if he wants to create real change. - In this fic, you'll see him be more proactive with the kingdom's problems and actually use his power outside the Magic Knights. - I'm not only planning development for his character but also his powers. As I have heavily implied throughout my fic, Julius is not human here and we will see that more in the future as the secrets unravel. - I'd personally recommend reading the wiki page on the tree of sephiroth and even better, catch up with the manga. But you don't have to, bc by the time i get to the manga spoilers part of my fic, the anime will prolly be there(fingers crossed).

[ziracona]

so can u tell us a little about ur characterization of Lisa?? What's she like inside and outside of trials? Does she have a lot of lucidity, what were her relationships with others like, would she ever get better, do you think? ( im SAD.) Just. What's she like!! Also, same for Sally? Oh! And I'm rly enjoying two songs by Meg Myers which maybe you'll like? Running up that hill (Cover) and Desire. Maybe check em out? :3 - Sleepy

Sure!

My Lisa is from a bit before the archives for her placed her (early 1970s), because I wrote ILM back when there was no date given for many killers or survivors, so I just hoped they were historically accurate with the things they did mention & went through a fairly exhaustive list of drained swamps in the Southern US & paddleboat makes & placed her according to that data (it’s been a bit so I don’t remember the exact date without looking up my notes) in the 1920s-1930s, I believe? And in her early 20s, since she’s described as a girl & young woman, which DbD usually does only for characters in their early 20s. (Which I’d still assume is her age, bc even though her archives, if you go by them, have her in her teens, they’re not connected to the events of her disappearance/definitely happened before them.)

In trials, Lisa has like 0 lucidity. I talk about this some in chapter notes, so I’ll try to give a quick overview instead but sry if I restart myself. She’s so starved that any time she sees a living being, she is just completely overcome with hunger and can’t do anything but operate on it. Very scary. Feral. Like being attacked by a starving animal. She’s super out of it, and is completely wild and violent and has no control, only the need to eat. Outside of trials, if no one is around, she’s lucid again, but will remember trials and what she did to people, and spends that time in horror and despair. She’s tried to kill herself before, because the last thing she ever wanted was to become the thing she swore vengeance on (the Entity’s a real cruel motherfucker. Did the same to Rin, to Philip, to everyone it could. Likes to really twist decent people into what they would most despair to be), but in the realm, she’s stuck as it. She’s not really aware for trials, but remembers them with decent clarity, and is in constant agony over what she’s done. Unfortunately, suicide does not take in the realm, and every one of her attempts failed, just like her attempts to maim or tie herself up so she wouldn’t be able to hurt people did. She’s horribly alone and despairing, and also in physical agony. She’s at the worst end of what a human can be at as far as emaciation and starvation while still being alive goes, and that’s physically awful. It fucks up your brain chemistry too, and everything is just really fucking miserable all the time. It hurts to move, it hurts to breathe, your breath smells tastes like rotten fruit but in a way that’s so much worth than that can sound. She’s so hungry, her addons are things like dragonfly wings consumed to give her extra stamina. That’s the kind of bare sliver of relief she ever gets. God, poor Lisa’s life is hell. She’s completely heartbroken and isolated and almost dead. As far as relationships go, she didn’t have any for a long time. No one can really interact with her, because she goes feral at the sight of food. She’s kinda utterly alone. But briefly, when Alex, Philip, Vigo, Benedict, and Sally were a group, she kind of got stumbled into, and after a kind of nasty first encounter, was able to regain lucidity around other people, and had a truly sweet and memorable and invaluable bit of time with love and friends and other people. She was kind of in love with Sally, who did her hair for her and was really kind to her, and Sally liked her too. They were close. Lisa was close with all of them. But when things ended the way they did, the Entity took that away. Lisa remembers it, but she could never get them or it back, and was cast aside and left behind until the end of ILM, when she finally got peace and found happiness in finally getting to be at rest in the arms of a friend. Overal, she’s a fairly young and wide-eyed, bright, cautious, fun and sweet girl by nature, now massively traumatized and hopeless and broken, but still with a truly incredible amount of that kind nature retained. She would have really loved reading fantasy novels aloud and exploring the worlds of lore and history, travelling, seeing other cultures and geographic features and animals. Enjoys fashion too, and has a heart for designing and making cool, personal and cultural and symbolic tied designs, and would have been both great at that and loved it if she’d lived long enough. (Shoutout to @artianaiolanthe who inspired the fashion take & it is so suited to her I love it). A little shy, but an extrovert at heart under it, just a nervous one. Loved people. Liked climbing trees and fording brooks and baking bread and throwing rocks and baseballs to knock a target out of a tree and win a prize at little town fairs. Didn’t get the length or quality of life she was owed, and it’s just not fair or okay at all. Liked to watch the stars.

As far as getting better goes, mentally, totally. If they could get her out of the realm or break the Entity’s connection, she’d immediately stop killing. She has never done it of her own free will. She’s a sweet small town kid who was just trying to live her life. As far as physically goes though, Lisa is in one of the worst possible spots. Unlike say Amanda, who was on death’s door but healed by the Entity, or the Legion, who weren’t injured at all, Lisa was on death’s door and like Adiris, did not get healed. Just preserved in that near-death state and forced to work in it. Honestly, it’s possible she could survive long enough to get to a hospital and be saved, but at best, she’d probably live another year. When you starve, your body begins to catabolize/eat your own tissue to save itself, starting with fat, and ending with muscles and organs, which, when it reaches the heart, kills you. Lisa was so close to dead, the organ damage was probably awful, and would leave her with complications that would take her very young. The most likely thing, since she was saved literally seconds before death, would be for her to step outside the realm and immediately die. However, it’s possible she got lucky on body damage and could be saved—kinda up to interpretation—and if say, she was around for Quentin’s Vigil going healing batshit, and got some organs repaired that way, she’d have a real shot. (I also am sad. Lisa was actually the only determinate character in ILM to me/that I wasn’t sure the ending for, and while I am very happy with what ended up being her closure, I also would like to see her live for even more love and peace TuT. Lol, if I ever end up doing my goddamn four fate route fics like I’ve joked now a truly dangerous number of times about doing [>.> me @ me] then maybe she will get a variety of lives in the end). I’m glad you wanted to know! I really like and pity her. This poor kid really did nothing wrong, much like Rin, and just got eternally tortured for asking for help and justice against the monsters who took her life so violently. Fuck Brittany. (Read: the Entity.)

Ahhhh Sally. My sweet, sweet girl. Uhhh, not sure which of the Lisa questions you meant for her too, so I’ll try to speed-answer them all? Sally’s intelligent and understanding and thoughtful, patient, polite, almost elegant despite how impoverished she spent most of her life—she just tries to act like a lady and treat people with as much respect and esteem as she can (unless they suck lol). She’s also very mentally damaged and not there though, and has extremely unstable mood swings, especially into despair. Her relationships with the other killers were limited. She talked to & was on polite terms with any who would talk to her and not be condescending or a dick so openly she’d pick up on it (so like, on cordial terms with Evan, Herman, Caleb if she’d been there that long, but not like, Kenneth or Freddy or someone who wouldn’t bother to put up an act). But mostly, after figuring out she wasn’t really of any use to them, they quit communicating with her. Sally has been extremely isolated since shortly after being taken. She believes that the survivors are innocent and suffering and knows that they don’t deserve the hunt, but has no way to stop the whole system, and has been convinced by the Entity that if she does a good job and earns moris, the ones she strangles to death get to stay dead instead of coming back after death to suffer endlessly again, so she works very dedicatedly and slowly trying to earn kills to save them. It took her physical eyes when it got her and lets her see through it’s powers, and uses that to randomize what survivors look like in her memory so she doesn’t catch wise it’s the same people over and over and she’s not saving them at all. It’s extremely tragic. God it’s one of the most cruel Entity tricks, which is saying a lot. Poor gentle woman is Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a hill day after day year after year and she doesn’t even know how hopeless and meaningless it all is. : (

When the Vigo-Philip-Alex-Benedict team was going, though, she met and attacked, then was convinced to instead befriend them, and quickly became very attached and well liked by them. Met Lisa while with the group, and became extremely fond of her and loving towards her and was truly, truly happy for a brief period of time. Still remembers her, even as lost as all her memories are. Not her name, but what she looked like to Sally, and how her hair felt, and how nice it was. Sally would have considered everyone in that group a dear friend, and in ILM, Philip most definitely becomes her deepest, closest, and best friend, just like she does to him. She’s a very faithful woman to her soul. Loved her family, loved her husband and mourned him, worked as hard as she could. Cared for her patients, and did her best in that hell until the Entity slowly whittled away at her sanity until it broke her mind and left her convinced the only way to end their pain would be to give them death, and she had to do it to save them. Sally loves little pretty things and neatness and collections. Flowers, bows and ribbons, china and colored glass. She would have treasured gifts like decorative holiday cards and carved animal figures and left them on her mantle or carefully tucked in lovingly organized and decorated books she could open to revisit the memory. Likes dresses and skirts and the way the wind feels. Hopeful and very enduring. Loving. Had a mom heart, and will never really get entirely over the loss of her children, but is strong and kind and will find new love that makes life still worth living in other people. Will remember both kindness and cruelty a long, long time. Loved Quentin from the second he gave her flowers (Dwight: Quentin, why did the entity let you have three moms? Quentin: Because I fucking earned it >:[“ [author’s note: he did. God that poor kid...]). Loved Kate from the day she sat with her in a hospital and held her hand. Is like that. Remembers small kindness and treasures them.

Sally could definitely recover. Not all the way probably, physically or mentally, but by far enough to be complete and happy and realized and who she wants. She never meant to hurt people, so she really just needs some stability, and I think she finds that with her new family. I mean, it is a lot to adjust to. It’s been like nearly 100 years. The Entiry broke her mind, and she’s got some damage that just probably can’t ever be fixed, but a lot can be, with drugs and treatments and therapy and kindness and a good support system, and honestly, the biggest things she needs are people to keep her memories together and herself present, and influences to protect her from being manipulated and controlled now that she’s so suggestible and easy to hurt, and she’s got that. I am 100% certain that while some things—the scatteredness, the ease of slipping into other moods especially deep sadness, the different way of thinking altogether—never leave her, she gets better in the most important ways and is truly happy and quite functional and what she wants to be. While there’s no way (yet anyway lol. Cybernetics that good when?) to give her new eyes since the Entity ripped hers out, and she’s blind now, and can’t be changed, her seeing eye dog does a great job for her, and she’s very happy and adjusts well. She has a lot of friends to be her eyes, and learns to lean into what she can do and has a quite fulfilling and blissful life outside the realm in ILM.

Also: thanks for the recs! I’m going on a run soon, and I’ll add those to my iPod and give ‘em a listen if I can. Hope this answered what you wanted to know! ^u^