#but god im so funny

[starxscream]

it was abt lightening mcqueen btw

[payasita]

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

[time-woods]

guy doesnt know what pins n needles are

( part1-2/? ?)

(start) (<next part>)

[soldierkitten]

anyone still remember this au idea I had? well I didnt (thats why it took so long) I wanted to do something with this au, so here :P

the next one :D

[umblrspectrum]

happy solvermas

[itseghost]

very straightforward redraw because this quest and this whole scene have been ON my mind.

[so-very-small]

genie: so, you have three wishes-

me: i want everyone in the world to be able to size shift between two inches tall and fifteen feet tall, at will, in a totally safe manner, EXCEPT for my ex and anyone within a 100 meter radius of them. everyone they see or meet will be the exact same height as them.

genie: that’s…. specific.

me: they’re into size. imagine knowing g/t is now real and exists, and you will NEVER get to experience it firsthand. i cannot think of a worse fate for any size fan.

genie: ….y’know what, fuck yeah. let’s do this

me: YAY. so for my second wish, i’m thinking bigass sword

genie: NICE

[favoure]

"do the opposite of what people tell you to do"

[young-telemachus]

ODY, after @anniflamma's lovely comics: Damn- the gods just love fucking me-

EURY: hahahahahaha they love fucking with you-

ODY: 0.0

EURY, getting worried: fucking with you-

ODY: .. 0.0

EURY, starting to look scared: I mean- there's also fucking you over-

ODY: ..0.0

EURY, looking desperate: YOU MEANT FUCKING YOU OVER RIGHT- RIGHT??

[cxtxphile]

loser malewife absolutely obsessed with their female partner gotta be one of my favorite genders

[unspecifiedfigure]

there’s a space in my heart and it’s just your shape 🍻🚬

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

☠️☠️☠️

[heartorbit]

find another role, carry on the show

[heph]

Wilson is constantly in a state of mild rage (because of House) in this show 🤔

[jazzically]

okay but imagine you are a researcher at the magnus institute looking through the archives for a paper you're writing and one of the statements you're using as a source happens to be on tape so you put it into the tape recorder and this absolute THEATRE KID of a millenial starts girlbossing his way through a spooky story about a soldier being slowly hypnotized by a supernatural mythical representative of war and at the end he abruptly switches off his dramatic voice and returns to "snobby scholar" disses the account entirely and throws in a random but clearly gay snide remark about one of his coworkers for good measure and the tape clicks off after a dun-dun-DUN and at the end of it all youre just sat there completely baffled at this chad of an academic who is apparently so annoyed at the disorganization of his new position that he must mention it seven times per sentence (along with the side comments about that other case with the guy who was haunted by an immortal spider and ended up wrapped in spiderweb post-death TOTALLY COINCIDENTALLY) like "well i can sure use this in my research because it has lots of useful verified information in it and definitely does not exist just so a man can spout his poorly disguised homoerotic yearning out loud into an outdated device full of lo-fi charm"

[nibbelraz]

Transmigrator Baby binghe and Broke single dad author