#but god im so funny

[starxscream]

it was abt lightening mcqueen btw

[payasita]

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

[time-woods]

guy doesnt know what pins n needles are

( part1-2/? ?)

(start) (<next part>)

[soldierkitten]

anyone still remember this au idea I had? well I didnt (thats why it took so long) I wanted to do something with this au, so here :P

the next one :D

[so-very-small]

genie: so, you have three wishes-

me: i want everyone in the world to be able to size shift between two inches tall and fifteen feet tall, at will, in a totally safe manner, EXCEPT for my ex and anyone within a 100 meter radius of them. everyone they see or meet will be the exact same height as them.

genie: that’s…. specific.

me: they’re into size. imagine knowing g/t is now real and exists, and you will NEVER get to experience it firsthand. i cannot think of a worse fate for any size fan.

genie: ….y’know what, fuck yeah. let’s do this

me: YAY. so for my second wish, i’m thinking bigass sword

genie: NICE

[favoure]

"do the opposite of what people tell you to do"

[young-telemachus]

ODY, after @anniflamma's lovely comics: Damn- the gods just love fucking me-

EURY: hahahahahaha they love fucking with you-

ODY: 0.0

EURY, getting worried: fucking with you-

ODY: .. 0.0

EURY, starting to look scared: I mean- there's also fucking you over-

ODY: ..0.0

EURY, looking desperate: YOU MEANT FUCKING YOU OVER RIGHT- RIGHT??

[itseghost]

very straightforward redraw because this quest and this whole scene have been ON my mind.

[unspecifiedfigure]

there’s a space in my heart and it’s just your shape 🍻🚬

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

☠️☠️☠️

[heartorbit]

find another role, carry on the show

[cxtxphile]

loser malewife absolutely obsessed with their female partner gotta be one of my favorite genders

[nibbelraz]

Transmigrator Baby binghe and Broke single dad author

[heph]

Wilson is constantly in a state of mild rage (because of House) in this show 🤔

[whimsicallywiddershins]

Can you imagine those fucking trillionaires waking up from cryo in their fancy ships, finding out it's been 10,000 years, all happy and smug cause everything must be fixed now, that annoying cult leader is long dead, they can go back to earth and re-build society in their image while living in luxury ect ect

Only to find the galaxy in disaster mode, billions of refugees on displaced planets because their planets died, giant creepy beasts eating entire worlds, crazy death wizard people ruling most of the galaxy. All lead by the Supreme Emperor Necrolord Prime God whatever. Who is that annoying cult leader. Who HATES YOU.

[derpycatsu]

ohhh so hes pathetic. ok. got it. Deploy The Hyperfixation