#but fucking cant so i guess if its something serious ill just have to live with it. or die. who knows. and deal with the random debilitating

[spikeyjo]

also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks

[be-good-to-bugs]

:( i need to see a dentist but i cant

[leolingo]

waking up and seeing dream’s rip off project just breaks my heart man what the hell qsmp barely had two weeks to shine and now he’s introducing a VERY similar project in larger scale and uglier graphics and its just “the two are allowed to co-exist?” be fucking serious for a second dude why are you doing this NOW at the height of a project spearheaded by someone that used to call you a friend? like just . logistically speaking comercially speaking when you see how obviously similar these concepts are Why would you announce it now when you know someone else is getting the spotlight for once.

its hard not to call it spite or jealousy or anything of the sort when we cant confirm the timelines of this new project’s development but it REALLY, really feels like something unkind. not only that but it feels really gross to see most aspects of quackity’s passion project warped into something worse.. like LIVE TRANSLATION? really? bc dream of course wouldnt expect people to try and learn the different languages to communicate. he probably doesnt understand how redundant and ultimately hindering it will be to rely 100% on automated translation because 1) he’s not bilingual nor does he make any effort to understand the bilingual experience 2) he has no actual interest in the learning process of foreign languages or the different linguistic communities on twitch and in content creation in general . which makes me wonder WHY he is leading this and very likely profitting off of it when there’s no real reason for him to associate himself with this kind of cultural project other than . wanting to be relevant i guess.

during squidcraft, i didnt see him attempt a single word in spanish. i saw dream use google translate or straight up speak english (fast, idiomatic english at that) to spanish speakers and otherwise not try to meet a communicative middle-ground in any way. if this is how he intends to take on “united SMP” i cant wait to see it fail.

quackity’s project is successful because he cares. its modeled after his own experience and thrives because he as a bilingual host is able to cater to both communities within it and work as a linguistic bridge when need be. which, as we have watched day after day on qsmp streams, becomes less and less necessary because the environment quackity is fostering is actually very concrete INCENTIVE FOR LANGUAGE LEARNING. people are actually interacting and having meaningful linguistic/cultural exchanges that actually LEAD TO LANGUAGE KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING. how the fuck is that supposed to happen if theres live translation? ill tell you now, it won’t.

when we study linguistics in college one of the first things we learn in regards to foreign language teaching is that translation methods rarely fuckjng work. by doing that youre limiting human interaction and actually DISTURBING the learning possibilities because youre taking away Real, varied input. dream doesnt know what he’s doing and its so upsetting to watch. dont even get me started on “language rankings” or whatever the fuck the competitive aspect is supposed to be

the project is just so flawed and the timing couldnt be worse. quackity is doing such a great job and? you just try to hijack his idea like this even though you clearly lack both the heart and the knowledge to make something like this work? to me it just appears so sour. so mean-spirited and uninspired. i dont even know man i just dont like it

[heart-freak]

its late and i am tired..but i feel like talking. okay. being aromantic and asexual is quite odd. th' concept itself is not very out of ordinary, but... the people do insist i can still date. still kiss. still fuck. have a qpr. ist dont want to do any of those things, ever, altho i agree..i coudl. if i wanted.but i dont. however, i dont wish to come off as cold... some may think the fact i dont want to be more than friends, even in a queer platonic way, makes me that way (god, even to aplatonic and afamiliar individuals. or loveless aros. or aroallos. however, im none of those things) but i think i am a very loving person. i love so much.i love my friends always. i say that, i do reciprocate things such as "i love you" , when said to me..usually. saying i love things is something i do often...well,mostly about things...but people too! many "i love my friends," posts. or thoughts. many many "i love my friends" thoughts. sometime i feel as if im not doing good for the people who are allosexual.. or asexuals who are into certain stuff. that existence is okay, tho i am sex repulsed and asexual,so ist dont enjoy it.. but i guess thats the clear dvidier there. i dont hate sex (or romance for that matter) but i just..mm.. disconnect from it. okay. have fun,dont bring me into it. you understand (i hope) and i say you can be like me..and still be such a loving person. or you can allosexual and alloromantic. or alloaro or alloace... ih not disgusting or abusive(i cant fahtom why individuals think these identites are abusive. can everyone earnestly say they wanted a serious relationship with everyone theyve found sexually appealing . or wanted to be in bed with everyone they had a crush on..seriously..) you can be dating someone only half the time..the other half you are a qpr...you know, a milion combinations, i feel, maybe you get the idea by now. also, i wish people would stop treating thes elike mental illness... can you believe it? i don't want a romantic partner...so im mentally ill? i dont want to have sex so i need mental help? do you hear your self. if you truly believe so, that it is mental illness, must you be rude about it? what does this achieve? you are just huritng someone. and..some people are that way because of trauma...so iguess you could say it about that, but, again, meaness doesnt help... besides, must we really fret over someone not wanting to fuck or be in a relationship>? ist not that deep,i think. we will all live through it. individuals like me do not hate people who have sex or smooch and call each other pet names... i certianly dont.. being rejected by an aro person is really not that different from being rejected form a person who's not into you, is it? the aroperosn is also nto into you..do you see what i mean? well. this is a rant now. i think ivbe written enough. goodnight

[devilsainz]

It all started with a joke (Charlos one-shot)

second time trying to make sense of these charlos thoughts in my head. I dont take myself seriously so no one should take my writing skills either. I do these mostly for me, when i feel like it. English is not my first language either and i barely reviewed what i wrote so... read at your own risk.

.....

It all started with a joke.

"Hey, did you heard what everyone is saying about us? That we are the most handsome driver pairing in f1 history." Carlos said with a teasing smile that only handsome men that know theyre handsome men know, while he was scrolling through his phone, sitting in that red couch, in the free time they found when working together .

Charles giggled in return while he was in a distance from him, "come on, lets focus on the performance on the car for now, carlos, please!"

"No i was just saying, cabron, i think it might give us a boost, you know? in our confidence, and even better our ~performance~"

"you just love yourself too much dont you?" Charles said shaking his head lightly.

"Ehm... ok, now ill be serious. But its quite funny, i guess. i still feel flustered by it, actually, when the girls call me guapo out loud sometimes... i just try to get used to it joking, you know".

"I mean, theyre not lying. Youre indeed a very handsome, aaah- how do you say it? Cabron. A very handsome cabron, i'll give you that."

"Ok connoisseur of beauty, gracias for the compliment even though you just called me a bastardo"

"I cant make you get used to much to it, mate.-"

"Maaate! What are these people on?" Carlos said with a cackle in his throat.

"Ok, now you got me curious, bastardo, let me see what are you-"

"~he looks at him like he wanna kiss him so bad~" carlos said mocking in a over sweet toned voice.

"Oooh my god, these people are really going crazy nowadays" Charles commented between their shared laughter.

"Look at this one: 'i want someone to look at me like he is looking at Charlie's lips' -now where am i even look-"

"To be fair, it really looks like it, Carlos, sorry" he let escape a shy laugh.

"Shut the fuck"

"You have to look at the picture, carlos... try to understand their narrative, its very simple, come on"

Charles zoomed in the picture and showed carlo's eyes darting in the direction of his lips.

"Eh, cabron, now that looked really weird, to be fair" he grimaced. They looked into each other and there was a awkward silence until they broke into laughter again.

"Look, we have this effect on people apparently... cause we are so handsome, these weirdos just want us to start making out in front of the camera! I guess its something in their brain chemicals" Carlos said moving his fingers like trying to explain a magic trick.

"Oh mate, come on, get off of it now, this is too much junk for today" charles said with his breath apparently catching up now after laughing so much.

"Yeah, i think its enough, carlos closed the instagram app and put the phone in his pocket."

The awkward silence fell again.

Charles, desperate to break the unconfortableness, tried to start a conversation: "but like, imagine if there were actually, you know, gay-uh-lgbt people and they have to live a life like this, with people analyzing every move they make, in formula 1 in all places-"

"Yeah, you're right... like, we live in a such microscopic world already, and then having people to judge you because of, you know, something that is not even related to the job, like- yeah that must be though" Carlos complemented, now the conversation got into a more serious tone.

"I mean, that sucks. I heard about that guy called Adrian Sutil, and its not that i care, but i mean, we have no idea where he is now- i mean, good for him i guess- but its... i dont know how to explain but maybe its like these people dont even show themselves that much like we do you know?"

Carlos nods while listening and looking at what charles has to say intently as he speaks.

"Like, we and lando, we just go around kicking, punching ouselves in the groins all the time because we dont have to worry about it, you know?" Charles continued.

Carlos says now back to his joking tone: "Ah, this motherfucker is obsessed with my bal-"

Charles interrupts with his high pitched laughter as he squeezes carlos shoulders in his hand.

"No, but now im being serious: did you see how we went from joking, to then talking seriously, then we are just joking again?" Carlos said, self aware, like he just witnessed something he didnt before.

"yeah?"

"See, this is the ~chemistry~ Silvia keeps talking to us about... Cause we get along so good together and naturally... i think people just start to get, you know, hooked up on us! And... crazy, and to see we make out" He said very proud of himself and of charles while he gave some light pats on Charles back.

"Yeah... thats... true, carlos, thats true!" He said just realizing how actually good his relationship with his teammate was. "And ii meeann, we would make indeed a veryy- handsome couple!" Charles giggled as he always did when he feels like he just said something silly.

"But its true! You are a handsome fella. I mean i feel weird praising myself like this, but i am a handsome fella... we together, we would just be two handsome fellas, you know, its math" he said using his hands again, like someone enthusiastically explaining math.

"See, this is why i dont compliment you." Charles said with an harmless teasing smile. "But you ~are~ handsome, mate. If i was a girl- i'd problably try something with you, actually- not to sound weird or any-"

"Nah, dont worry, mate." Carlos gave a strong pat on charles back. "This is completely fine actually, i mean i think its nice that we dont have this uh, awkwardness, between each other, cause its very silly if we stop to think about it." Charles nodded agreeing. "And if i was a girl, i would try hitting up on you, too." Carlos said reassuringly, with a wink, which made Charles blush, not that its hard to make him blush, but...

"Thanks, mate".

"if you want a kiss, just tell me. These people may like it."

"Bastardo-"

Charlos kicked him in the shin, which carlos responded by grabbing and pulling, while charles tried to push his shoulders and get free off his arms holding his leg, making them fall off the sofa while carlos saw the opportunity to tickle him while he fell on top of Charles body.

"Stop mate, we are doing way too much in our free time" charles said trying to supress his giggles with the tickles.

"Stop what? Do you think ill kiss you or?"

Suddenly, the air in the room fell heavier.

The giggling stopped. Now Charles was staring at Carlos lips while he realized Carlos did the same with his.

"I dare you." The tone serious as his lust now.

Carlos went for it and kissed. Just like he kissed his girl for the first time, short and sweet, but now it was Charles. He pulled his head back, stared at charles for a brief moment, and realizing he was looking at him with that same look of discovery mixed with lust, kissed him again.

Charles just let himself be guided by the older man kiss, now going slower in rhythym, heavy with tongue, short in breath, thick in grunt.

After what felt somewhat between 15 hours or 15 seconds of a long kiss, they went back at staring each other, now the reality slowly bringing them back to their feet.

"Sorry, mate- i dont know what the fuck i-" Carlos said standing up

"No its fine i dont know either-" Charles stand up swiftly trying to make sense of what happened

"I just fucked up didn-"

"Pshh, dont say that. Its okay mate, its just a kiss. Nobody has to know."

"You really mean nobody, right? Like nobody."

"Of course, why the fuck would i do that"

"I dont know- i mean- i dont- i wouldnt think you'd tell anybody either way, i'm just-"

"And i wont." Charles said looking him in the eye and making him silent. "I give you my word. Nobody will know".

he extended his hand open in a handshake.

"I give you my word too, dont worry." He said back nodding, with a look that could only mean truth.

They shaked hands, firmly in their promise. After the silence settled in again..

"And... honestly... mate, your kiss was really good. I tell you that." Charles said all red as the ferrari color he was destined to wear, his face nervous but with a smile in his eyes that Carlos saw through.

"Thanks." Carlos said smiling shyly, blushing just as he did when people called him guapo in public.

And just like that, them standing in front of each other, there was two knocks on the door as a voice called "Carlos? Charles?". Time to go back to work.

[franticfanficloremakers]

How much did you pay for the tumblr blaze’s reach?? It has been legitimately the only ad I’ve seen on the site and it’s after every 3rd post 💀💀

wait its the only ad youve seen? ill answer your question in a moment but im... a bit stupefied by knowing THAT detail specifically. as for how much i paid for it, well time to spill the beans i guess: i have blazed this SPECIFIC post (but i blazed other posts on this blog earlier this month) for $150. and thats only from THIS month. i have blazed this other times and i cant give an exact number, but honestly i can say in total i paid MORE than $200 on that post in general. now why would i do that? because i love seeing some people make jokes about it, getting REALLY pissed off from seeing it OVER AND OVER AGAIN, like just that knowledge is SO FUCKING HILARIOUS TO ME. the thing is about that too is THE PEOPLE TOOK THE BAIT! they took the bait, literally reblogging how much they hate it, how much its complete DOGSHIT and probably thinking about how i should be a cow on a trash farm like that one german dude on twitter said to edmund mcmillen. but theres also the polar opposite, the people who find it very funny, people who oddly enjoy it, like genuinely enjoy it. or people who just saw the blaze and think its based. i like that, too, honestly. i like this polar opposite dynamic with the post and how people see it over and over. its funny, at least to me. it gives me genuine enjoyment, seeing how much people both genuinely seem to like it bc funny, and how much people hate it. oh and yes i can afford this, so you all are probably stuck with this for a GOOD LONG WHILE, because i feel like i practically live in a factory job that pays me well enough.

oh and also, i see a lot of people dont notice what that post is referencing. originally referencing, i mean. people also dont seem to get the whole mordetwi thing so im just going to explain that, too: so i mentioned this horribly made mordetwi fanart made YEARS ago on deviantart with literally the same exact lyrics and a VERY similar background to the art my good friend harvey made. this is the art it was referencing:

so yeah, i mentioned that artwork to my friend harvey who was trying to come up with something for me to post on this tumblr to specifically make jokes about our cursed, horribly written at first crackfic that turned serious at some point (which to be fair, during this time i wasnt writing much but i got into it a bit later, came up with a lot of plot and helped the best i could with consistency on frantic fanfic writing, but enough of THOSE details!) and got genuinely better, storywise. i made that joke about the fucking ship we put in there, YOU CAN GUESS FUCKING WHAT I DONT THINK I NEED TO SPELL IT OUT. so i made a joke about him making parody art of that and the dude really did it. i was so shocked, astounded, and overjoyed with this POWER I HAAAVE that i blazed it and successfully knew i got people to go through some serious mental anguish, cringe, and even a small bit of trauma from viewing that. but also some people who genuinely enjoyed it, which KUDOS TO YOU PEOPLE YOURE GREAT!

but yeah no i spent too much cash on this and it probably wont stop anytime soon, SUCKS TO SUCK, GUYS!

[transexualpirate]

serious post ew look away but i need to vent for a second

it's infuriating how fast i can go from feeling amazing to feeling like actual garbage. just this week i was happy that things are looking up for me and mulder and my little petsitting business was taking off and i was doing good at college only for things to go bad again because it always feels like im not allowed to enjoy feeling happy for too long

i know i sound super dramatic right now but i can't help it thats my natural reaction to things. im dramatic. its who i am.

my roommate is moving out possibly this week and im glad because we haven't been getting along well recently but also the bills are piling up and i was already on the edge of it as it was but i could still maintain things. but i just learned that my landlord wants to raise rent 10% unexpectedly and i know it isn't a lot and i can probably still pay it but it's still scary. it'll be my first time living 100% on my own and i have a cat to care for (thank goodness because if i had to live actually alone i dnt know what id do lol but with a cat relying on me i know im safe) and it's just. i dont know. it kind of feels like a lot. i dont know if im ready for this if ill do well if ill be okay and i hate that so much. everything is so expensive and im looking for a job but it's so so hard to find one i can do while still having time to spare for college and im scared that my grades will drop because this semester has been really hard and I'm really insecure about my own intellectual abilities. and keeping an entire apartment clean by myself. can i even do that. i struggle with keeping my room liveable sometimes what if i fuck up and the house gets super dirty and it's embarrassing and i can never bring anyone over in fear of them finding out what a fucking mess i am. not that my friends come over a lot obviously. i dont know if my friends like me very much. one of them drifted away from me after i fucked up twice once by sleeping with one of her friends and making things super awkward because he fell for me but i dont like him that way and twice because my roommate and i aren't that good right now and my roommate is also a close friend of hers. and i have other friends but i always feel like i cant keep long lasting meaningful friendships if we see each other often because i fucking suck. i think im just a little bit of a mess right now and it's. exhausting. im scared. im scared and money is running thin and i can always ask my parents for more but im scared of doing that too because my mom always makes it seem like i own her something when she gives me money. which i guess i do so it makes sense. but im tired of owning things to people and i was trying to go by without depending on her so much but i guess im not ready for that. im almost 19 and i feel 13 when things started crashing around me for the first time and it's a little more than a month to my birthday which is often a shit time because of bad things that happened there and i dont know dude i dont fucking know i think im just overwhelmed i wish i could go to therapy again but i don't have the money or the time really. at least i have mulder. ill always have my cat. i love him so much. at least i have him. i have to hope things will get better. i have to hope and work for things to get better and i know this because i worked before and it worked. but god im tired and i just wish i could go to sleep and not wake up to bad news for once. i wish i could go to sleep. fucking hell

[kushami-hime]

I posted 1,743 times in 2022

That's 226 more posts than 2021!

924 posts created (53%)

819 posts reblogged (47%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@onetrickponi

@thebigchoo

@goodlucksnez

@thescarlettletter

I tagged 1,039 of my posts in 2022

Only 40% of my posts had no tags

#kushami asks - 365 posts

#snzblr - 227 posts

#not snz - 213 posts

#snz kink - 207 posts

#snzfucker - 202 posts

#sneeze kink - 144 posts

#snz - 100 posts

#kushami wavs - 96 posts

#snz wav - 34 posts

#b/akugou - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 100 characters

#knowing that you all care so deeply for a stranger on the internet has restored my faith in humanity

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

CW: Sneezing, Stifles, Wet Sneezes, Half Stifles, BakuBrats stank attitude, embarrassment, 3 noseblows. 

One morning at the local hero agency, the newest generation fresh to the scene is called to a meeting by their serious colleague, Tenya Iida. Everyone is in attendance, including Ground Zero and Deku. But as they get settled in, a strong smell in the cramped room begins to set off Deku’s nose...this won’t end well. 

FIRST wav since...the dragon!baku one? That was done a hot minute ago I feel like but whatever lol. I cant find the proper anon question atm and to be honest I dont remember if its the same person but when you see this, I hope it’s alright! All I remember was that someone asked for D/eku dealing with someones strong perfume either in a mission/meeting/college lecture so I went with a meeting setting. I put my own little spin on it with music from the OST and using background sounds and stuff to give it more...immersion? idk lmao.

Anyway! It’s bedtime for me but horni hours for you guys. Enjoy! <3

102 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

#4

After waking up with a terrible fever, D/eku finds himself being taken care of by B/akugou, who’s usual rash behavior covers up his worrisome feelings over his lovers illness.

CW: Sneezing (dur) Baku being a tsundere mother hen, bratty sick Deku, Baku getting sneezed on (twice I think?), general caretaking, you know the drill. 

OK guys wtf HOW did this get so goddamn long!? This is my longest wav YET! And yet...I don’t think it lived up to the hype? Im just being hard on myself I guess, you all be the judge.

I really missed doing Deku and I got like, REALLY mess and REALLY stuffy during this wav and you can totally hear it nearer to the end/in the second half.

This was originally for THIS ask and Im sorry if it sucks (I know you said soft caretaker Baku but he’s pretty angry in the first half) but HEY its super long so there’s that? Lol. I also apologize for the quality, I had to knock it down during the export cause it was too big for Discord lol...

Anyway, um...enjoy I guess! It’s been a harsh week so Im gonna go eat something and watch anime I guess @-@ 

102 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

#3

CW: SLOW BURN, B/akugou being tied up/restrained, slight BDSM vibes, feather use, a LOT of sneezing (like...a LOT) long, drawn out holdbacks/build ups, some NSFW sounds if you squint, mess/hints at a lot of mess, feather allergy, my OC Tsumeko being a real bitch to blasty boi, established Pro Hero AU, hands free stifles, forced stifles, B/akugou being loud and having an absolute potty mouth, growly noises (cause yknow angry B/akubrat), forced false starts (if thats a thing), B/akugou being winded/out of breath on a few occassions, cameo from T/odoroki and D/eku at the end, shirt being used as a tissue/noseblowing into shirt.

CHARACTERS DEPICTED ARE IN PRO HERO AU AND ARE 25+!

K/atsuki wakes up tied to a support beam in a structurally unsound building seemingly underground. When he realizes his captor is a well known thief he's been chasing for weeks, he's completely seeing red. Will he be able to tough it out against her strange test of endurance or crack under the pressure with a weakness he didn't even know he had?

Holy fuck guys...this shit is the length of a full on anime episode and idk whether to be proud of myself or ashamed like...idk what to think. All I know is that a LOT of anons wanted this wav and well...here it is lol. It took like 3 - 4 weeks of repeat sessions of JUST sneezing and also holdback training if you will. Most of them were seperate but 90% of the holdbacks in this are 100% real so enjoy my genuine battle against fresh vials of Chinknii xux;

I'm also sort of on the fence with this one, cause it's been a hot minute since I've done a B/akugou wav and I pretty much forgot how to sneeze like him, and I rerecorded certain sneezes but without much improvement so sorry about that u.u Hopefully they get better as I do a few more wavs with him coming up.

SO! Um...hopefully this does some numbers cause I have to be up early and I stayed up to finish this and um...yeah! Im gonna go pass out now-

102 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#2

CW: Nose blowing, wet sneezes, sniffling, buildups/hitching breaths, somewhat horny Bakubrat, very teasing and dominant/demanding! Listener is in a servant position so there’s that if you’re into domestic servitude lmao

After a long day away from the palace, B/akugou returns from an outing drenched in freezing rain, and sneezing almost uncontrollably. He claims he’s fine...typical B/akugou. But once Y/N pesters him enough, he admits that he may have caught himself an awful illness by the name of Dragon Fever. With human blood running through their veins, Y/N is immune to this disease, so it’s up to them to nurse the suddenly teasing and feverish king back to health...

AS YOU CAN SEE, this file was too big and too horni for tumblr so I had to use soundcloud instead. A lot of people have been waiting for this, so I really REALLY hope it came out OK. You guys know Im too hard on myself these days like, ugh. The self loathing is so real...

But, it’s here. And I’ll probably take some time to write scripts and maaaaybe write a short fic? I dunno yet, Im really tired, lol Enjoy!

Minors DNI. Non-Kink blogs DO NOT REBLOG! Love you guys!

103 notes - Posted February 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

A shy, nerdy type of guy you've been friends with for so long that you've decided to tell about your kink. He thinks nothing of it, even reassures you that it's natural and it's not weird at all! He even totally forgets it...even as he's struggling with his usual hayfever.

You can't help but squirm as he's humiliating himself by struggling to fish out his used tissues to wipe his streaming nose, holding back his sneezes with messy half stifles into his hands. He looks down at the shiny mess in his palms as he hides himself from you, flushed red in the face. That's when he remembers.

"W-wait...y-you...l-like this sort of thing...don't you?"

133 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[onlysushicat]

Wanted to add the thought I had while I drew this the other day

I imagine the scenario being like them both playing a game and Karkat talks about getting intimate/talk about their bodies(I suck SO MUCH at writing but I did my best) but yeah, nsfw under the cut :3 dudes be looking at each others stuff under their pants

Both of them would be around 19 or 20yo, started dating years after the game ended if we imagine all this connected to the comic etcetcetc. If not then this could work in any AU where trolls and humans live together idc

.

K: You know we've been dating for almost a year now

D: yes, still amazed about it

K: Like, we kiss sometimes and sleep in your bed after we spend the whole day together

D: what about it?

K: ..no its nothing, keep playing

D: dude if youre trying to highlight something this way, youre doing it wrong cause im not understanding you

.

Awkward moment, then Dave suggets that maaaybe they are thinking the same thing but he preferred to avoid the topic and wait until Karkat was ready to discuss it. Karkat focuses on the game and doesn't talk back, then Dave starts

.

D: its not necessary i mean, its ok if it never happens youknow. i dont mind livin a life without wetting the biscuit, looking at gods face, putting the plug into the socket

K: Shut up for fucks sake, Im curious because there is not a single book or movie about humans naked bodies in this lame ass world and I actually want to enjoy a new private activity with my boyfriend [he accepted the boyfriend title because matesprite would mean he puts Dave in a quarter of relationships yadda yadda you know the usual] , unlike YOU who seems uninterested in it avoiding as if touching me would give you a deathly illness. At least I would enjoy talking about our own bodies but not even that happens

D: what the FUCK was that about, im not a mind reader how did you expect me to know u wanted this with me now

D: and i did imagine what you look like but im no pervert man i wouldnt ask about your body just because i thought about it sometimes

.

After some small discussion things calm down, Dave suggets playing a game and whoever wins gets to show his parts first to the other. Winner provides some information before showing to avoid weird questions. Karkat almost rejects the idea but accepts because its the best option at the moment and Dave seems actually interested.

Dave gets distracted while imagining a bunch of gay shit and loses, maybe a racing game??? Idk, but anyway Karkat won. Curses in a whisper and goes to sit on the bed while Dave watches him in silence while following him slowly, sitting in front of him.

They are face to face, none of them talking, Karkat tries to explain to Dave what to expect but hes way too nervous and uncomfortable now that they made a whole mood just for the "reveal". To try and relax him Dave says they could make out as usual.

.

K: Thats just an excuse to kiss me, right?

D: maybe but it could also work

K: I guess, in the movies the main couple always start with a kiss session before the scene gets intimate and people start to show more than I agreed to watch

.

They get to the kisses smooches etc, shades come off, kisses become bites, and then the "reveal" start to happen. Karkat explains a little bit of what Dave is seeing, him ending up with his eyes staring like his life depends on it. Dude got lost in the junk

.

K: Stop with that stare

D:

K: Dave

D: what, what did i do

K: Youre staring too much

D: Karkat you got an entire museum of art there and i feel i could get every answer in the universe if i keep staring

K: Cant you get serious for once, Im literally showing you my genitals for the first time

D: what did you expect? you want me to touch it right away?

K: wha

D: what

K: DONT touch it right know its very sensitive, and if you really want to do it at least wait until my bulge gets out

D: your what

K: you dont know what a bulge is, dipshit?

D: how the fuck would i know, youre an alien dude

K: then what do you have down there?

D: oh you sound so desperate now you should listen to yourself

K: FUCK OFF IM CLOSING MY LEGS NOW

D: I WAS KIDDING, DONT BLUE BALL ME NOW

D: fine ill show you but dont laugh, right now is not at his full size and extent. not at his prime you know

K: it grows? Like, a plant?

D: just dont laugh thats all i ask for

.

Thats all I got for now because I dont think they would have sex right away. Maybe the 2nd time it happens lol

Dave's reveal of his dick I can write some other day if you actually think my writing is ACCEPTABLE/OKAY/FINE FOR A FIRST TIME NSFW WRITER

Ps: Im not a good writer at Dave and Karkats chatting because to me they write/talk like common dudes with a little bit of shortened words, some long ass sentenses and insults from time to time

BE NICE 👉👈

[bombworkorange]

ive always fucking hated maladaptive daydreaming its genuinely so infuriating i cant focus in on my reality because the stuff inside my head is so vivid and true that i begin to question myself and if im really alive. i need to wake up! i need to wake up! but i am awake ! but what if im not? <- that sounds fucking stupid and im so embarrassed with myself all the time . idk what to do or how to stop this andi hate the violent ones because then i snap out of it and everything is normal in reality but im disturbed by something that didnt even fucking happen. ive had this issue since i was small and its only worsened and it wont get better i dont think so anyway because its consistently only worsening and i already have hallucinations on top of that so thats great!!!!!!!!!! i just wont ever be able to fully focus onto whats real i guess!!!!!!!!!!! i love being mentally ill guys its so fun (i need to kill myself i cant live like this i cant even call this living im not even real!!!!) i dont even feel like i can call myself mentally ill either because what if secretly everyone is like this and im just weak because im thenonly one who struggles with it . everything in my head is so intense and it makes me want to bawl because i think toohard and focus too hard and then im convinced that everyone is not real !!! i solved it!!! now get me out!!! get me out!! letme see the real thing! that sounds so insane ughhd ive hurt myself so many times just so i could be certain that the things around me were real or not . im just so ashamed and i try to keep everything in because otherwise people think im just fucking crazy and ive dealt with this so long that i feel it just doesn't matter anymore. im so overwhelmed and paranoid all the time and i feel so bad for the things i imagine so vividly and all i canndo is hope its not true and that it doesnt say anything about me . i hate people who want to escape their reality via intense daydreaming because itsnot going to get better that way its only going to worsen and worsen and you wont know the difference anymore and youre gonna get paranoid and you'll never be the same again!!!!!!!!! sorry if this incomprehensible idont fucking care im so tired of feeling unreal . its only worsened my paranoia im already afraid of awful things occuring but then my mind cycles through every single little thing that could happen and what i could do and it takes up so much time of my day hdkgskdksjfksjkfnakd its not always these intense serious scenarios it can be something extremely fucking boring or it cannbe about characters but that doesnt make it any fucking better haha i love characters but get out of my fucking head!!!!! the hours just go by and that entire time I'm sitting there doing absolutely nothing but being stuck in my own head . shame shame shame!!!!!!!!!!! i dont even have to be sitting or anything akin to resting , it happens no matter what i do . its stupid and it pisses me off and i hate daydreaming . bye

[pesterloglog]

John Egbert, Dave Strider

Act 5, page 2737

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

EB: hey dave!

TG: hey

EB: wow, it's been a while since we talked, hasn't it.

TG: has it

EB: i think the last time i talked to you, i was doing exactly what im doing now...

EB: which is blasting off from my house.

EB: or was it?

EB: wow, i can't remember...

TG: man who cares

TG: i mean thats great and all

TG: but i talked to you plenty more times since that from where im standing

TG: ive got to make this quick

EB: oh.

EB: you mean like the trolls?

EB: are you using the troll time chat gizmo?

TG: fuck no fuck that trollian horseshit

TG: its just regular old time travel

TG: im from the future

EB: oh ok. is this dave sprite?

TG: no

TG: just regular ordinary dave from the fucking future nothing special dude come on

EB: well, excuse me, but i still think time travel sounds kind of special.

EB: sorry you are so jaded by awesome shit!

TG: yeah ok it is awesome but im in a hurry

EB: what is it?

TG: i need to borrow some boondollars off you

EB: boondollars? i thought they didn't do anything.

TG: no they do do something

EB: what do they do?

TG: what do you think they buy shit its fucking money

EB: what do they buy?

TG: i cant answer all these questions dude youll find out anyway its not like youll even really need your money

TG: you you might as well give it to me

EB: uh...

EB: how much do you need?

TG: all of it

EB: oh, fuck that!!!

TG: man you just said you thought it was useless why do you care

EB: but you just said it wasn't useless!

TG: ill pay you back

EB: really? when?

TG: in the future

TG: if theres one thing im not short on its the fuckin future

EB: how far in the future are you from?

EB: i thought we only had something like 24 hours until, like...

EB: game over.

TG: yeah we do

TG: but chronologically ive been around for at least triple that

EB: wow. how...

EB: i don't get how that works!

TG: no shit your deal is wind not time

TG: youre on easy street what is there even to think about with wind

TG: like what angle to blow it at to fly a damn kite or how gentle its gotta be to make a picnic go swimmingly

TG: its kiddie bullshit time is serious fucking business

TG: leave it to the pros ok

EB: but, doesn't going back in time make an alternate reality?

EB: i thought that's what happened with dave sprite, he came back to make sure i didn't die and this is a new timeline now.

TG: yeah it can work that way

TG: or not

TG: ive been very careful

TG: this whole operation is strung together with stable time loops

TG: no timeline offshoots cause thats when daves start dying and that isnt no good for nobody

EB: daves, plural?

TG: yeah

TG: there are a bunch of daves running around the timeline

EB: oh, man.

TG: but they are all me

TG: i mean they will all become me and ill become them one way or another

TG: thats how stable time loops work shit takes a lot of planning and precise choreography

TG: ive got some help though

EB: help?

EB: sounds like you have been talkin' to some trolls!

TG: yeah

EB: they seem to be getting more talkative lately.

TG: man dont even get me started with that

TG: the 24 hour span of the reckoning is like some kind of critical spike in us dealing with troll bullshit

TG: i guess its just when the most shit is going down so they figure thats the best time to mess with us

EB: yeah, that makes sense.

EB: i guess since you've lived three days in one day, you've just been hassled that much more?

TG: i dont know man they seem to flock to me

TG: ive been laying waste to chumps nonstop

TG: its like they heard somebody over here was handing out asses and theyve known nothing but years of bitter ass famine

EB: heheh.

EB: so what is the future like?

EB: or uh, the 3x future...

EB: do we win???

TG: oh you know

TG: noirs outta control

TG: rose is crazy jades crazier and youre

TG: well youre you

TG: and together were up to our bulges and miscellaneous bullshit alien physiology in hot sloppy shenanigans while hatching plans under our feathery asses like a bunch of cage free farm fresh motherfuckers

TG: but im not about to get into specifics cause this is complicated enough as it is

TG: and if i started ranting too much about the future id start sounding like one of these smug alternian shitheads and im not about to drop that retarded science on my good bro

TG: so im staying on track here

TG: speaking of which

TG: give me your money

EB: but...

EB: i worked hard saving up that money!

EB: i have a whole boonbuck now.

TG: oh christ

TG: only one

TG: well fuck nevermind then

TG: i thought youd have more by now but thats goddamn peanuts

EB: :(

TG: i mean

TG: ill take it anyway but damn

EB: tell me what you want with it!

TG: im working the system here

TG: using time loops to manipulate the incipispheres financial sector

TG: making a goddamn killing in the lohacse

EB: lohacse?

TG: lohac stock exchange

EB: um...

EB: lohac?

TG: my planet

TG: land of heat and clockwork dude come on

TG: you know like gears and lava and shit

EB: oh, huh.

EB: that sounds unpleasant.

TG: wrong it kicks ass

EB: your unpleasant face is what kicks ass!

EB: or DOESN'T, more like.

TG: egbert stfu and give me your goddamn boonbuck j3gus fuck

TG: ill turn it into a boonmint in an hour and youll get it back ok

EB: j3gus?

EB: *narrows eyes suspiciously...*

TG: no comment

EB: i don't even know how to give it to you!

EB: they are just more weird gaming abstractions, how do we do this?

TG: you can wire it to my account

TG: ill send you the app

EB: i'm really pretty busy you know. i have to help jade!

TG: i know

TG: but this takes like two seconds

EB: bluh...

EB: fiiiiiiiine.

TG: dude

TG: dont do the vriska thing ok

TG: shes messed up we talked about this

TG: or will talk

EB: who?

TG: whatever

TG: alright app incoming

-- turntechGodhead [TG] sent ectoBiologist [EB] the file "virtualporkhollow.exe" --

TG: gotta go later

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

[thats-sir-dyke-to-you]

Long rant about my feelings and health or whatever

My feeding tube is causing me SO MUCH THROAT PAIN OH MY GOD

And there's nothing i can do to soothe it. Its sore because there's hard plastic where it shouldn't be.

This tube is so much more of a pain than my other one. Its just flat out a worse tube. Its a thicker french which is fine so far, but the material is firmer. Its not bouncy silicone. It doesnt give. The connection point also sucks like its cheaper plastic and its just nasty.

Like my first tube was fit at a private hospital, and this one in a public. Like is the quality in funding that intense that private health patients get better feeding tubes?

Ive also been on a NJ for 4 months. I should have a more permanent one. Like nasal tubes are just not long term options. I guess when i see my gastro in 3 months from now i can point out that, "hey, ive been on a nasal tube for 7 months. Weaning isnt working. Ive tried and the amount of food i can eat is not enough to sustain me and if you take me off this tube i will start starving. We can do that, i'll starve until im dangerously thin again and then we can talk about placing another tube, or we can accept that i cant eat enough with intervention to sustain my body and i need a more permanent solution."

Like the guidelines say that if someone is going to require a feeding tube for more than 3 months, a PEG or PEG-J should be placed.

Its also getting to the point where im having difficulty swallowing. Again. Like im starting to choke. Food hits the back of my throat and gets stuck and i cant swallow completely. And i dont think the tube is helping, i think its making it worse.

Like its getting to a point where im struggling to take my medication. Im pretty sure im going to have to start crushing some of my pills. (I cant crush all of them bc some of them are longer release and thats frustrating. And crushing pills every day is very quickly going to become something im going to struggle with as an ADL but i cant keep choking on my meds, and the last thing i want is another damn pill ulceration as well)

Pretty sure my NJ tube is also now an NG because i had to pull it out a little bit after they placed it because i wasnt able to access it at the length it was. But despite it probably being NG i cant tolerate high volumes of feed. I feel full on 50ml an hour and if i push it above 85ml i start feeling nausea.

I also cant throw up because if i do throw up the tube comes with it. So not only do i already eat like a mouse in order to avoid nausea but i also eat way less than i physically can because if i do i will vomit and i cant risk the tube.

Its just so frustrating.

I have global dysmotolity since its affecting my oesophagus and stomach. I have HSD and POTS as well so this isnt an unusual presentation of gastroparesis. I just. I need a more permanent solution than irritating nasal tubes that keep getting yanked on and cause constant discomfort.

And i know a PEG-J will have its own host of problems. I know ill likely have some serious problems with a stoma because im prone to keloiding and hypertrophic scars. God knows id likely get granulation tissue. I just think this whole feeding tube thing is more permanent than the initial short term that was suspected.

And 3 years of avoiding nausea and living with this has made me so avoidant of food. Ive developed a really fun, cool, awesome eating disorder. Sometimes that even feels like a cop out because its OSFED and doesnt look like what most ED's ive been exposed to should look like. Like years of starvation have completely fried my brains ability to regulate my hunger. Like i barely have any hunger signals during the day and im a champ at ignoring them anyway because i want to avoid nausea and pain, only then to be prone to waking up in the middle of the night to binge (read: eat a normal amount which feels like murder on my stomach). Ive gotten so used to nausea that nausea and feeling full feel the same. Like. How fucked up is that.

Im on antipsychotics that are supposed to help with nausea and they do to a certain extent but im just fed up with being on so many meds. Like i easily spend $150 on meds and thats WITH most of my meds being $7. Like its just so frustrating.

And seasonal depression is kicking my ass so bad that im worried im gonna need another stint in the psych ward at this point, but once again theres no time in my life. And theres so much to do at home and i just have no energy to do any of it. I dont even have energy to look after myself. And the house is a wreck and i know i have to get it in order but it just feels impossible. And adequate nutrition is helping with the fatigue but i still feel so unmotivated down to my bones.

Im pinching my gf's ADHD medicine just to be able to function enough to get shit done and i still cant even take care of myself, its just so frustrating. Disability and mental health have woven themselves into such a tight downward spiral that i just feel trapped. I feel trapped in my body. I feel trapped in my house. I feel trapped in my head. I just dont know what to do. I feel so out of control and useless.

I need to see my psychologist again because im spiraling. Like even my partner said that in the last two weeks ive been in a serious nose dive. But i cant get my stupid NDIS stuff sorted. Like i have all the funding i need to see her i just cant get it implemented because i dont have a support coordinator yet and its just driving me mad. I had one and then she quit and that was a month ago and im still waiting to even have an intake appointment. And its one of those things where i dont know the first place to get started doing it myself, but i also feel like even if i understood what to do just just wouldnt be able to do it.

And money is such a worry because im supposed to save up at least a 1.5k, if not more for this trip overseas which im really looking forward too. Like i get to see family i havent seen in a decade, im stoked. But im worried about how im going to feed over there, and how im even going to afford the trip. Then theres the fact that i want to save up enough money for christmas gifts and an engagement ring and on top of all that i had plans for two health related things that i wont get to until next year.

I need another ulnar nerve transposition done, but its going to be 2.5k to afford it, which is a lot of money. I could talk to my dad about affording it but hes already given me so much money this year and i dont want to ask for more. Then theres the fact that im trying to save up to get tested for autism because im fairly sure i have it and thats another grand. And it would be worth it because if i do have it i could get so many more supports than i have now. It would also just make me feel like im not failing at life anymore. Because right now i feel like i dont have a reason to be struggling this much because nothings wrong with me. Nevermind that i have so much shit going on i dont know what to do with it.

Ive just been stressed about money for so long at this point. Ive been stressed for a year about it, like. Its driving me mad. I make half of minimum wage on DSP, which is frankly appalling because im disabled and therefore all of my shit is more expensive. And then theres the energy bill which is going to be insane because theres a cost of living crisis and everyone is getting price shocked.

Im just so stressed and all of the stress just rolls one thing onto the next onto the next like this damn post started with me ranting about my feeding tube and here we are.

I just dont know what to do to make things easier. I know tidying the house would dramatically improve my mood, but i cant do it by myself. I feel completely swamped and overwhelmed. I just need support. I just need someone to sit with me while i try to get through everything. But by the time everyone comes home ive already spent all day stewing in my stress and im exhausted and have no energy to do anything.

Im also frustrated by the fact that ive been needing help with showering lately. Like i used to be able to do that by myself and now i cant. It used to be that id be a little lazy about doing it too based on how much it would wipe me out, and now its like it doesnt matter how much i want to do it, i just physically cant.

I dont know how im going to manage overseas without totally grossing out my family. The last thing i want to do is ask my mum to help me bathe. And theyre not going to have a shower chair that i can use over there so im going to have to sit on the ground because its getting to the point where standing is so completely exhausting. I dont even want to let my partner see how much it wipes me out. I dont want anyone to see how much im struggling, i just want to be able to do things.

Im sick of feeling like im useless.

[3liza]

talking about flters and real beauty vs fake beauty and cultural standards etc always makes me think about all the victorian and edwardian novels i read, where the things that people thought about beauty were recorded at length. recently ive been reading a lot of Thomas Hardy (best known for Tess of the D’Urbervilles and Jude the Obscure) and there’s so much discussion of the beauty of people, particularly love interests, both men and women. and these writers, and their eras, and the culture of the eras, was of course obsessed with beauty and youth and also artificial beauty (being the eras of the really transformative corsets, not to mention some of the earliest industrialized or modernized beauty products or processes), as all human societies are to a greater or lesser extent in their own ways, but the thing that sticks out to me in reading these books is how beauty is not the singular or even the most important aspect of a person’s overall attraction. if someone has a beautiful face or figure, it is mentioned, but never to the obsessive, fixated extent that physical beauty is isolated from and elevated over all other features in modern american/western culture. there are plenty of protagonists or love interests in these books who are described as not young, or not remarkable, or not pretty, or even ugly or frightening, but nevertheless compellingly sexy and attractive, or simply interesting, or worthy in some way. 

its weird that the cultural consciousness has become seemingly ignorant of non-physical attraction. like that anon that was in my inbox talking about how they were “normal looking’ and therefore “needed” filters in order to “compete” with attractive people. it’s a weirdly mercenary and capitalist view of the social economy, first of all, which absolutely is not zero-sum no matter how badly the social networks want to convince us that it is. but there was never a single mention from that person about their ability to charm or entertain or attract using anything except a fake photo of themselves. wild. im fuckin worried about them! im worried about every young person how has brain worms

when i was about 4 and starting to become aware of how much adults were obsessed with my appearance because i was dainty and blonde and could do a passable shirley temple imitation, my parents gave me a very serious lecture about what physical beauty actually meant: i didn’t work for it (yet, i mean i do a lot of work now as an adult), it was given to me genetically. and someday, maybe sooner or more suddenly than anyone could predict, it would be gone. if accident, illness, or hardship didnt get me, old age eventually would. so with that being a certainty, i had better build a life and a personality on something other than my looks. and i said, ok. every day i get older im more grateful for that advice and the fact i decided to take it to heart instead of trying to gamble on Being Hot for long enough to get job security. which is also a valid career choice but it’s a risky one. always better to have a fallback just in case.

im of an age rn where a lot of women in my peer group are starting to get a very hunted vibe about the impending end of their youth, which is valid. theres nothing foolish about it, its not their fault, theyre not stupid or somehow lacking because this is an issue in their lives. but im noticing that i am significantly less freaked out by, idk, how long ago the 90s were or whatever, because i have been expecting to get old since i was in kindergarten. and i had adults around me who were just like “hey this is what old people look like and what bodies do over time. its not a big deal. everything on tv is fake btw”. i didnt get out unscathed, ive had eating disorders and all sort of weird brain-body problems. 

my advice i guess if i have any is to go outside and really look around you. notice how almost every single woman, and most men, has at least some cellulite, even if its just when theyre sitting down or whatever. notice how everyone has blemishes and zits. most people have some dandruff. if someone is wearing makeup, it’ll be cakey or balled up or smeared or uneven or clumpy even if it’s just a bit. everyone over the age of about 20 will have stretch marks somewhere, even if they aren’t visible except in certain light. i was under the impression i didnt have many until one time seeing a picture of my butt in FULL natural light and finally saw the entire surface of both cheeks was covered in straitions, they just were hard to see most of the time because im the color of drywall and scars tend to be light. it’s really easy to spot hair extensions and wigs and fake nails and fake tans and shapewear once you figure out how to see it. and none of these things take away from someone’s character. 

there’s a strong argument to be made that when corsetry was the norm, no woman was expected to simply be the shape of the corset unless she was actually wearing it. photographs and drawings of women in the 19th and early 20th century were retouched a bit as all photos have been, yes, but they were not retouched to make naked women appear to be corset-shaped. THAT is new. people are now getting surgery to be corset-shaped. and like, i dont think anyone should not be able to look however they want if they want to have that surgery. that is one meaning of cyborg feminism, probably. what i dont want, is for anyone to ever think that’s a normal way to look (except for veryvery tiny mathematical outliers, the Barbie Hips Georg of instagram) WITHOUT surgery or shapewear. which i see a lot now. i saw an instagram fashion designer with a very obviously surgically-altered body answer a question in her inbox about how she maintained her figure with some nonsense about diet and exercise. so now some (probably young) person out there is thinking that if they just do intermittent fasting enough, theyll look like a woman with butt and boob implants, a BBL, fillers, etc. that person probably thinks that if they arent able to diet and exercise good enough, they will fail at looking that way through their own laziness and lack of work ethic or whatever. i see that mindset constantly, especially in young women.

the surgery isnt the issue. the look itself isnt the issue. the filters themselves arent the issue. the issue is that on none of these images, is there an indication of what has been changed or how. the brain damage effect of filters would be lessened, i think, if everyone KNEW which images had been altered and how. so maybe thats the answer? mandatory labeling? i dont know. what’s terrifying is that the average adult human in america cant tell from a glance what has been altered in a photograph, no matter how clumsily, because they simply dont have a template for what a real human looks like anymore. the false images have supplanted the real images, the actual memories of alive humans that you know and have met or lived with. 

if you go into any of the shittier men’s spaces online you will find threads for posting pictures of “beautiful girls”, and it is page after page after page of teenagers in full makeup, hair extensions or wigs, circle lenses, facetuned, bodytuned, surgery, etc, and then hundreds of men yearning and fanning themselves over her “natural beauty”. dont go looking for this stuff, it will permanently fuck you up to know what a basic guy on the bus is thinking about women every day. dont do it

but i also seriously predict a backlash into “natural” looks after this current madness, similarly to how the 1960s saw the rise of the hippie girl with swingin titties, pit hair and no high heels after the consumer beauty madness of the 50s. of course the 60s beauty ideals were in some ways just as fake, but there was some authentic yearning towards a freedom from capitalist bodies as well. so when that happens send me $20: paypal.me/3liza. should be in like the next 4 years or so. thanks

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 8-13 thoughts! again, under the cut bc I blew through 6 episodes in one go...

-LOVE THE WAY THE GHOST ZONE LOOKS. but theres fucking ghost cops??? ghost jail??? that SUCKS imagine dying and going to jail in your AFTERLIFE. danny going to JAIL WAS NOT something I expected. but seeing all the enemies together and work with danny to bust out. SO ICONIC I love that actually. and the thing about real world stuff acting as ghosts in the ghost zone is very cool.

-'there are some things more important that hunting ghosts!' mrs fenton says, about her husband forgetting their anaversary (FOR THE 18TH YEAR IN A ROW?? CHRIST) and not about, idk, their son clearly freaked out. she didnt even notice he was gone into the ghost zone!!! he might be a bad husband BUT shes not the best mom. they suck and I don't care about their relationship problems I care about these kids. danny doing his best to clean the house to keep his mom from getting mad at his dad?? hes such a good boy I want to cry, this is not his place, his dad should be cleaning his own shit up!!!

-maddie's butch lesbian sister is living my best life in her lil cabin. also being a snarky bitch to jack. queen. and her getting a 10th anniversary of her divorce. LOVE IT.

-mr. lancer being a cheerleader in his younger years makes perfect sense to me. king shit.

-dr. spectra's cat ears/mullet hairstyle?? sooo cute. I also just love the concept of a ghost just. sucking out people's positivity and feeding on emotions. a great villain. she put danny in a fucking diaper what the FUCK. and keeping it cold so no one would suspect shes a ghost??? INCREDIBLE. and her gay little blob sidekick. wlw mlm evil solidarity.

-JAZZ FOCUSED EP. YEAAAH!!! her first thought when she saw the ghosts was like 'omg i gotta tell danny :)' and her going to the teacher and also councilor trying to get help for him...shes just 16 but shes trying so hard to help him out :( watching this when youre younger I can imagine ppl are like omg annoying!! but watching this when im older im just like :( jazz baby im SO sorry </3 SHE BODIED THAT GHOST THOUGH. and the fact she didnt tell danny she knew surprised me. like, shes patient and waiting on him to tell her when hes ready!! thats so so sweet.

-christ the parents talking about 'PEELING IT LIKE AN ONION. AND EXAMINING REMAINS' of ghosts RIGHT INFRONT OF DANNY.

-'why am i so depressed and angry all the time!!' DANNY YOURE 14. i mean it IS a ghost this time, but...

-579$ top?? VALERIE NO ITS NOT EVEN CUTE IT DOESNT EVEN GO WITH THAT OUTFIT AAAA. tho this ep is called shades of gray..VALERIE FOCUSED EP FINALLY????! *THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE* I already knew about red huntress from my redesigns, but I didn't exactly know what that entails or how/why, so, it's fun to see the Origins.

-ghost pubby! ghost pubby!!!!! why is the dog a ghost?? the implication that the company had guard dogs and got rid of them...what did they DO. is it just the unfinished business?? of not having that toy it was looking for?? god I hope so.

I feel SOOO bad for valerie tho, my god. her friends are shunning her for what, because her dad lost her job and she had to move??? horrible. (and the fact the dog wrecked the moving van too...) I also love how 'from wisconsin' on the package was an IMMEDIATE RED FLAG FOR ME. WISCONSIN=EVIL NOW. vlads so petty.

-it took valerie like 5 mins to get the hang of hunting ghosts and shes already a much bigger threat than his parents tbh. who've been trying and studying this for years. and a more valid reason <3 love her shes so cute and cool. new daughter alert.

-'i should do SOMETHING to help valerie' no shit danny???

-'who is that, awesome outfit!' -top gay sam moments. i was going to say. before it immediately cuts to sam kissing danny LMFAOOO. don't think I like that, it puts tucker in a weird third wheel position... the next ep involves them holding hands and blushing when danny's cold...URGH No. not a fan ngl. the trope of 'if theres a girl in a trio she has to end up with one of the two guys!!'

-right as I say that they take it to extremes!! and ember shoots him with a love ray gun that makes him OBSESSIVE OVER SAM. AND SHE TAKES HIS HANDS AND SAYS 'YOU DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ME, I DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU' and her saying she doesnt want to be together like this. and tucker saying 'i always knew you two would get together!!' dont manifest it tucker please. the show pushing for it so hard makes me not want it KSHKJKJD I KNOW its probably canon. it sucks though. im a hater.

-vlad just LURKING AROUND THE SCHOOL GIVING VALERIE GIFTS ASJKDHKJ YOU WEIRD PETTY OLD MAN GO HOME!!!

-EMBERRRRR YOU WILL REMEMBERRRRRR . this is the one thing I kinda remember from when I was a kid EMBERRRRR ilu. top 10 cartoon bops. sams being a hater. popular things are popular for a reason. mr. lancer also being a hater. also everyone wearing her color scheme ..its a really good look, the purple, black, and minty color...

-penguins exist in the ghost zone. confirmed.

-EMBER JUST SHOWING UP AT A RANDOM HIGHSCHOOL TO PLAY?? UNANNOUNCED, MID DAY??? girl get a tour schedule. make some money or smth damn. I know shes probably doing it for the power boost but. lord. anyway if your show doesnt have a concert scene/ep, is it even valid.

-fellas is this gay. (she uses a GRAPPLING HOOK TO SHOOT OUT THE WINDOW AFTER SEEING AN EMBER VAN GO BY RIGHT AFTER THIS SHOT)

-hey, she had an undercut at some point!! my redesign!!! was accurate!! in..a way

-I feel like danny has a lot of pent up aggression ngl, him being heartbroken about sam and immediately going IM GONNA GO TAKE IT OUT ON EMBER. I mean she needs to be stopped I guess But. jazz has the right idea he needs therapy and a HEALTHY outlet.

-tucker singing > my singing

-girls cant be gamers -tucker and danny sexist moments. her being chaos in the game OWNED.

-TUCKERS HAT IS A BERET??? I THOUGHT IT WAS A BEANIE. SAM CALLED IT A BERET. WH.

-it was actually nice of lancer to let danny retake the test, and he go to play games again. smh. epic cringe gamer moments compilation. and driving him home!!! I actually like him as a character. anyway teachers like lancer are SO appreciated. I was failing middle school because of mental problems, and felt so dumb and got embarrassed by teachers who would just get onto me instead of bothering to ask what the real problem was, but when I was taking my ged classes I had a wonderful teacher who kept reassuring me that I was smart, and I got honors!! danny is SUCH a little shit to him (understandable, 14, but) but seeing them getting along better and danny putting in effort. SO CUTE. THATS MY SON, STUDYING HARD!!!! and being so PROUD OF HIMSELF!!! 91!!! BITCH!!! A- is STILL AN A!!!

-'why dont they ever realize thats me in a dress' mr lancer i am CRYING. i realized.

-technus being my ghost grandpa who cant game asking tucker for help. bless his heart. his out of date old ppl lingo circles back to being endearing <3 tucker not recognizing him despite the like, lack of any kind of serious disguise...I do love their lil in-game outfits....sam being the tank rules. I like technus' spider design also. more characters need to be giant freaky spiders, imo.

-finding your gf a new host because she cant maintain her ghost body outside the zone? amazing. using jazz as the host? ILL KILL YOU. jazz immediately accepting a ride home from a guy she just met and letting him know where she lives. letting him IN THE HOUSE??? nooo girl no lets use common sense </3

-sooo cringe the parents were like 'good job for spying on your sister' tho wtffff. doesnt matter if hes a bad guy, thats fucked. everytime these parents BREATHE im like. these are MY kids now <3

-BAD LUCK BEING A THEME OF THE 13TH EPISODE. thats super fun. johnny 13 being his name is so. iconic. your last name is a NUMBER? also goth tucker. I actually love the look. everyone looks good goth. 'the ladies love the eyeliner and onyx nail polish' sam you are sooo right every man needs to at least try those two things. im a lesbian and I agree. same, danny, your bff is gnc af

-LOVE kitty's design. and just, the concept of a ghost with a bike. couple goals, except yes stay away from jazz.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

eat your words* chris motionless x reader

+++++++++

Part 2/collab with @buryallyourbones can be found here, she did a great job so you should go read it! It will also be linked in my master list under "motionless in white2"

* - lunch date gone right ;)

Song: 3 musketeers by ppcocaine

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @svintsandghosts @theoneandonlykymberlee @cynic-spirit @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @alilpunkrock @bleed-to-make-amends

+++++++++

i sat in the booth with chris and sipped my coffee. it had been a fairly long morning after he agreed to help me repaint my living room so i had offered to take him to lunch. it was a little fancier than we were  both dressed for but i didnt really care, they had amazing food and their coffee was to die for. it was kind of a date i suppose. we had been hanging out and going on dates for about two months already but neither of us had really labeled anything yet. not to mention we hadnt exactly told anyone we were seeing each other, not even the band. i sat and looked around the restaurant as i sipped my coffee.

"so, when we get back do we have to get right back into painting or is there room for something else first?"

he asked, brows raising quickly and making me laugh to myself. i shook my head at him as he took a drink of his own coffee.

"ill think about it, but for now i wanna eat lunch."

he nudged me with his elbow.

"right, but all im saying is you would make a lovely dessert."

i snorted at him as he wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my jaw lightly and squeezing my thigh.

"come on, what do you say?"

i rolled my eyes and sent him a knowing look.

"fine, but as soon as we are done we have to get back to work."

i said as he sat back up.

"deal."

he said, looking up at the waitress as she came to take our lunch order. we gladly gave it to her before getting back to our conversation. then as i looked over i noticed the group of friends i had blown off and immediately felt panicked.

"shit."

i said, looking to chris.

"what? whats wrong?"

he said a little worried. i pointed in their direction as they waited for the hostess to get back to seat them.

"those are the friends i told you about. i knew they were all going to lunch today but i didnt know they were coming here!"

i said quickly, grabbing his arm.

"you have to hide. they cant know about this yet."

he drew his brows and laughed a little bit. then his face fell.

"wait, you're serious?"

i nodded.

"yes im serious. we agreed to keep this a secret from people so if you dont want them knowing about you yet you need to hide."

he rolled his eyes at me.

"cant we just tell them im a relative or something?"

i let out a short laugh.

"no, they know all my relatives. they have been going to our family functions since we were five years old, just get under the table and be quiet."

i said, commanding him. he sighed as i pushed him under the table, i looked up just as my friends approached us.

"y/n! funny seeing you here. i thought you said you were busy today."

kayla asked, looking at me a little disappointed. i nodded slowly.

"i am, but i decided to come get lunch. i didnt realize you guys were coming here."

i lied. a smile spread across her face quickly.

"oh, do you want to come sit with us then?"

she asked and i jumped, chris' hand making its way between my thighs. i sent her a reassuring smile, trying not to let on what he was doing under the table. i was just glad this place had table cloths.

"uh, actually im waiting for someone."

i lied again. she drew her brows, looking to Janice a little confused.

"oh, okay."

i coughed uncomfortably as chris pressed his finger against my clit over my panties, stroking me lightly.

"its not like that, we just have a meeting so ive got to eat kinda quick-"

my breathing hitched as i felt him press his face between my legs. i closed them abruptly, him hitting his head against the table before grabbing my thighs tightly with his hands and prying them open. god i wish i wouldnt have changed into a skirt before we left.

"are you alright y/n?"

Janice asked, concern lacing her voice. i nodded as i felt him move my panties to the side, his tongue making its way up my folds.

"who me? yeah im doing great."

i said uncomfortably.

"are you sure you dont want to come sit with us for a bit? we can make it quick if youre pressed for time."

kayla offered and i nodded, trying not to moan as he sucked on my clit, pushing one finger into me.

"yeah."

i shuddered out, feeling a chill run up my spine. they both looked a little skeptical.

"okay, then i guess we'll see you later. and hopefully your meeting goes well, or whatever."

Kayla said, looking to Janice a little worried before ushering her away to their table. i sat back and swallowed hard, feeling chris add another finger and pumping them in and out of me. i bit my tongue hard as the waitress came over with our food. she set both plates down and topped off our mugs.

"you two need anything else?"

she asked politely. i sat forward abruptly as he curled his fingers into me and shook my head.

"nope, i think we're good."

i managed, watching her nod and walk away. i put my elbows on the table, folded my hands together and rested my head against them as he continued his tongues attack on my clit. i breathed hard, feeling the knot in my stomach build.

"chris."

i whispered out, feeling his free hand massage my thigh. i sat back into the booth again, slouching down into it and reaching under the table to hold his head. i dug my head into the booth as i came around his fingers, trying not to moan at the feeling. my legs shook under the table as he licked me clean and put my panties back in place. i glared down at him as he poked his head out from under the table cloth.

"i fucking hate you."

i said as he returned to his place beside me. he smirked before taking a sip of his coffee and looking over at me with a devilish grin.

"you do not. but now i guess i dont have to wait for dessert."

he said with a wink, picking up his fork. i sighed out, sitting forward and moving to eat too.

"oh no, now i think you get to wait even longer for the next round."

he looked at me sternly.

"you wouldnt."

he tested and i sent him a look, shoving my fork in my mouth.

"try me."

i said as i swallowed. he leaned in, looking between my eyes.

"is that a challenge?"

he quipped back and i smirked at him, getting closer too.

"i guess youll just have to wait and see."

he laughed once through his nose before pushing forward and kissing me harshly.

"y/n?!"

i heard Janice say and my eyes shot open. chris pulled away with a shocked look on his face too, both of our attention turning to her as she stood in front of the table.

"i was on my way to the bathroom... what? what is this?"

she asked, pointing between us and i could feel my face getting warmer.

"uh, jan, this is my friend chris."

i said reluctantly, watching her eyes move to me.

"i see youre very close."

she said reluctantly and he nodded, squeezing my thigh.

"you have no idea."

[yehetting]

Loco & Jay Park - Reaction

kanekilover23 requested: “Hello, can I request a reaction pf Loco and Jay Park when the reader is a youtuber and does the breakup prank on them. Thank you.”

omg haha sorry its so late, here ya go love!

Loco:

He would love having a s/o as a youtuber! Always making fun videos, going to new places recommended by your subscribers. The whole experience was something he never knew he would love so much. That’s until prank season trends came around, he didn’t know that was a thing so it kind of made it easier to get him so good and easily. unfortunately the main trend was fake breaking up with their s/o. You set up different cameras around the living room, to try and get different angles. You had a script ready and everything. Once he came home you pretended to be annoyed already and acted like you where editing another video. He came up and tried to rub your shoulders to help you relax but you shrugged him off telling him to leave you alone. He backed off and went to the room and put his stuff away. When he came back you had added fake tears and pretended like you where crying over “losing all your work”, he ran over to see what was wrong and you said what happened. He tried to hold you but you pushed him off, which made him a little upset. “its okay you can record it again or think of another topic.” he tried to reason. “I cant just ‘record it again’ it was one of my biggest projects I've been working on it for weeks!” You shot back trying not to really cry seeing his face. “Well, I'm sorry, I know how that feels, what can i do to help?” he asked genuinely trying to help. “Nothing, i cant do anything this is something I've been so passionate about and now its gone and all you said was i can record it over or think of a new topic, you knew how much this meant to me and your literally telling me right now that it can just be rerecorded? I cant believe this.” You tried to be as convincing as possible but it was starting to get hard seeing how upset he was actually getting. “I didn't mean it like that, I was just trying to make you fell better..” he said standing up this time and looking down at you. “Are you serious? You are aren't you. I cant do this.” you said standing and starting to walk to the door. “Do what? Where are you going?” he asked realizing you where walking to the front door. “I'm leaving, ill be back in a few days to get my things, you just told me you where trying to make me feel better by putting down all my hard work. I cant be with someone like that I'm sorry.” you put on your shoes and started to open the door when you heard a sniffle. You instantly regretted all of it and just stood there. You turned to see him crying staring at his feet. You felt like shit right then. You had no idea how to tell him it was prank, this was a bad idea. “I'm so sorry....” you whispered real tears coming out. “For what?” he asked so lost at this point. “This was supposed to be a break up prank but I let it get out of hand I'm so so fucking sorry...” You broke and started to cry harder. “What? are you serious?” he asked leaning back and looking at you hard. You just nodded. You pointed at the cameras around the living room. He looked at them all/ in shock. You explained the whole idea and how it got too far when you started to see him cry and how you feel like such an ass. “I really don't expect you to forgive me for this, I'm just really sorry. You said deleting all the footage off the cameras. “no yeah I'm really pissed off right now, ill get over it just please let me be for a little bit, ill come to you when I'm fine.” you nodded and he went into the home gym. He came out sweaty and red from being in there. “hey, so I thought about it and I'm okay with it now, it was a good prank but I wish this wasn't the trend right now. I forgive you.” he said and you smiled. “but to seal the deal you have to give me a hug right now.” he said smiling and holding his arms out for you. You made a gagging face because he was all sweaty but you manned up and gave him a hug. It felt nice despite the sweat. He kissed your cheek. “i love you but don't do that to me every again please. I hated the thought of you leaving me.” he said pain still in his voice. “I wont I promise.” you said kissing him. 

Jay:

He didn't care for the whole youtuber thing like loco did, He did however support anything you did and wanted to help anytime you asked. Needed a kick ass intro and outro song, he was on it and sold you the rights, for kisses, so whenever someone uses it they get copyright claimed. you liked being on the other side of that for a change. He helped with editing sometimes when you're too tired. Having him help you when you needed had its downsides though. He would opt out of the Boyfriend tags trends, because they would “tarnish his bad boy rep” *throws up dumb gang signs* You would laugh it off but that meant you had to do something else and endure the drop in views. You wanted to get back at him for some of it an guess what it was? Break Up prank trend time! Same as loco you set up cams all over his office when he went out to get you some snacks for the movie date you had planned. One was by his computer, his couch behind him and one was placed carefully in-between two of his sound systems. You sat in the living room trying to look pissed off. You seemed pretty convincing because once he stepped into the room he asked what was wrong. You lied and said you saw his emails while cleaning up and saw that he was expected to work tonight. He said that he didn't see it but that he could most likely get out of it. You threw your hands up and followed him to his office where he went to look at the fake email you got his manager to send for you. “I swear its like every time we’re supposed to have alone time you have to work.” you said behind him. He turned and looked at you. “Yeah but, i usually get out of it for us.” he replied still looking at you. “can you this time? you just got off tour! You cant possibly have work already?” you asked pretending to get more annoyed. “I shouldn't ill email him back.” he sat down and started typing away. You riped out your phone and texted his manager about what to do before he hit send on the email. You two sat in silence for a few minutes he tried to reach for your hand a couple times too but you brushed him off. The computer dinged signaling he had a new email. He read it and set his head fell and he sighed. You knew what it said because you basically wrote it. “Seriously?! You're joking right? You just got home!” you got louder. He turned his head to you looking sorry. “I cant help what they do, I'm sorry.” he said trying to reach for you. “I don't care, you just got home this isn't fair to you or me....I don't think I can do this... you work all the time, it feels like i hardly see you.” you said quieter not trying to sound as mean as it did, because you know damn well has always there for you. “I... no I can try to get out of it, Please.. I know its not fair, Its my body their messing with and our relationship.” he got up to move closer but you backed away. “I'm gonna go, ill be at my friends, ill get my stuff in a few days. If I knew this about your company I wouldn't even have said yes to that first date.” Your eyes closed because holy shit you shouldn't have said that. His arm dropped to his side. You backed out of the room and down the hall a little bit. Gaining the courage to go back in. He looked up at you when you came back in. “I.... this was supposed to be a harmless prank but i think I went too far... I'm so sorry jay...” you whispered and let your head hang. You felt warmth and looked up to see him holing you like you would disappear. “what the hell is wrong with you? Please don't ever do something like that again!” he got loud this time pulling away from you. You nodded tears forming. “I promise, Ill delete the footage too.” you said nodding at the cameras. He looked shook, he looked and saw them all. “This was recorded?” he asked. You nodded. “for you channel?” you nodded again. “Please post it! Dude that'll go viral!” Your eyes widened. “What?!” you asked. “I'm serious! If you do you might get scouted for an actress with that amazing acting you did.” he laughed waving at all the cameras. You uploaded it a week later and sure enough it went viral! You got an offer from his company as a commercial actress. 

( I DONT OWN THESE GIFS, CREDIT TO OWNERS )