#but for that reason i think a lot of it can make good comfort food
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hot take and maybe i'm biased by my own nationality but i don't actually think english food is particularly bad. it's not the most vegetarian-friendly cuisine in the world so i don't personally adore it (but that's true for p much any northern european cuisine and many other places too) but like a full english is not far off from what you get in any american diner, just add some beans and some veggies. yorkshire pudding is fine. scones are good. the hate is overblown idc
#all british food is just like a combination of sausages and some grains and maaaaybe some veggies or fruit#it's definitely a heavier type of cuisine. designed to carry you through miserable british winters#but for that reason i think a lot of it can make good comfort food#im probably also biased by the shit i ate growing up ('my nationality' here is referring to my family/dual citizenship)#that all being said. i still cannot accept the concept of a chip butty#please include a food group other than carbohydrates in a meal 😭#and don't say 'it has butter on it'#<- lmao maybe that kind of thing is how y'all earned your reputation actually#+ imo fried food doesn't tend to photograph well#bri babbles
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The worst thing about suffering is that it still hurts when the danger is over but no one cares about it anymore because it shouldn't hurt. No one will ever say "I'm sorry that happened to you" especially when they barely say "I'm sorry that's happening."
#Okay to tb btw all the personal stuff is in the tags#Like. Not eating for a week because you couldn't get groceries hurts#and people will say 'oof sorry that's happening' but then#after you're able to get food no one will ever say 'I'm sorry that happened' even though you think about it and hurt from it constantly.#No one will ever say ':( that must have been so hard' because you're fine now right???? No psychological damage there?????#This example is stupid but I do think about it every time I feel hungry. I told people I wasn't able to get groceries#and there was no food in my house. And they said. Oof.#Instead of idk Oh God Are You Okay ??#No one cares when you've been abused your entire life and behave the way you do out of genuine terror because your brain is fucked forever#They don't say 'I'm sorry that happened it must have been really scary to turn you into Such An Asshole. I pity you like a dog :('#Speaking of man everyone loves fucked up abused terrified dogs and wants to be the one who makes them open up#And shows them that people can be good and kind and that touch doesn't have to hurt#But everyone is scared of fucked up abused terrified people#Humans are capable of harm even more than dogs and fear is understandable but.#Can you please call me good boy and shush me and tell me nothing's going to hurt me and let me curl up on your lap#And not hit me if I get scared and start to growl and feed me good and take me on walks and play with me#Even though I'm not very fun to play with and I'm still learning what's fun and what's mean and what's a toy and what's a hand#Plleeeaaase don't be jealous of a dog that doesn't eat good don't say 'tch he's so thin what am I doing wrong'#I want to eat good and grow and gain fat and be warm and be comfortable I don't want this#Don't say 'if abused dogs don't eat good then I don't deserve to either' no no no no eat good so you can take care of us both#Please please please I learned so many tricks to make people happy and call me smart but I don't actually know how to do anything I'm#Literally like such a stupid dog it takes me like one day of no one paying attention to me for me to become un-housebroken#I make a lot of mistakes even though I know better or I really should know better#And sometimes do things wrong on purpose to get attention either yelling or showing me how to do it right#But most of the time I genuinely don't know how to do stuff because I was never taught or I was taught and#My previous owners said 'this is how it is. It is this way because it is and it is forever. The answer is Because.'#'now quit asking repetitive questions before I pop you'#If I do something Because and not know the reason why I'm doing it that's not learning that's acting#Especially habits taught specifically to hurt me and not being allowed to question it or know why I'm being hurt#Oh my god I acted out so much when I was younger and all my friends were so disgusted and hurt by me and yelled at me every day
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Daily Log 4
Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.
Activities: Woke up late because I went back to sleep with a headache briefly, then kind of struggled to focus all day ToT
Worked more on the aforementioned tapestry/painting type of thing. I've done the base layer of painting for the main image, now I'm lining in darker outlines. I wanted to finish the center art before getting into the intricate borders. Still haven't translated the text lol..
Made a small bowl and also a little box with a lid out of more avocado pits. Still just with random nail cuticle tool things and kitchen knives, as I don't have proper carving tools.
Finished editing and proofreading the new poll adventure post!! I don't have time to post it tonight because I need to get to sleep early but.. I have it Completely 100% Ready.. finally..
Also washed the clothes I got together yesterday. Called about the bloodwork. Sent an email to a doctor.
Reviewed some writing documents to get back into my game maybe?? (basically, I started working on a visual novel type game a few years ago, decided it was a huge project so kind of put it on the backburner for a while in favor of things that were more easily finishable/tangible. then later on a game website I play (similar to neopets or something, there are collectable little creatures, etc.) there was an opportunity for me to design a pet on site, so I made a smaller shorter visual novel centered around that, where people on the site have to play the game in order to earn the pet, and I have a google form for them to answer a few short questions about it. All of the feedback is quite positive (reached 200 responses a while ago! though still only like 4 comments on the itch.io page lol.. Mandatory Form vs. Optional Comments evil showdown), but sometimes I get commentary that's really enthusiastic and inspires me to start back working on the OTHER bigger game. The small game was kind of like, a proof of concept that was safe because I had a guaranteed audience, that has helped me gain more insight for the larger one.
Anyway, since I've abandoned the Main Large Game for so long, I have to re-read and review/probably rewrite A LOT of things just to pick it back up again as A Thing I'm Actively Working On, so it's another one of those tasks that I do maybe 45 minutes of and then realize it's going to take days and days and get discouraged lol..
Notable sights: Saw two cats in windows. No clovers. It rained a little today but I didn't get to go outside and see it. One of the pieces of asparagus in the fridge was like the size of a carrot, comically overgrown downright ridiculous looking asparagus. Maybe I'll get taller after eating it.
Goals moving forward: Consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc.
Notable foods: ASPARAGUS AGAIN BABEY.. yeaAAAAGHHH asparagus squad !!!!!!
#just posting these publicly since it feels more like I'm doing something or easier to hold yourself accountable if you make public#declarations of goals and progress or etc. .. perhaps.. for now..#I wonder if you can eat too much asparagus. Hopefulyl I don't get sick ghjbj#Still craving lots of savory foods and soups. Also in a big big worldbuilding mood.#Not enough to actually edit the worldbuilding slideshow videos apparently since I've barely done any of that all week#>:Y#(they are different though.. actively writing wolrdbuilding is different from like.. editing recordings of you talking about it#BUT STILL...)#In an ideal world I have a little house in scotland or canada or something and am sitting cozy by a window watching it#rain whilst I eat lasagna and like a huge buffet table of every single hearty food I am having Anemia Cravings for#and my cat is sitting near me and I am furiously sketching various designs for different worldbuilding details. I have finally found#a weird hermit platonic best friend I'm compatible enough to live with and they are up in the attic doing their own weird little hobbies#but every once in a while I can call them down and tell them about an idea so we can bounce concepts off of each other. I somehow walk away#with no heartburn or stomach upset or nausea despite eating 800 plates of craving foods. It's cold and summer#does not exist anymore but not in a Catastrophic For The Earth type of way more in a like.. I am in a magical bubble#that only affects my direct vicinity and sheilds me from the temperature ever getting above 65F#(also I have a comfortable amount of money and good doctors and reasonable health etc. etc. but that's a given in any Ideal Scenario lol)#oughh... I just want to eat hearty breakfast foods and think about elves for 5 hours.. is that so much to ask#Why must... responsibilities... capitalism... limited time and no energy to focus on 100 projects at once... why these things...#ANYWAY#daily log
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These are a couple doodles from yesterday, Gideon as a younger teen, before the growth spurt, maybe 14? He's discovered he's a vampire, and has a lot of recovery to do, since he's severely blood deficient.
I'm gonna let myself explode about my vampire gideon ideas, under construction, under the cut: (I don't write fanfiction, I just throw up my ideas on a tumblr post, apparently :'D)
This is what I love about tumblr - it's a place where I can throw the doodles (something that isn't finished *artwork*), and let myself be really delusional about fictional characters. So I'm gonna take a moment to ramble about the ideas I have for Gideon as a vampire.
If you're a fellow Gideon Head, HI THERE... anyway, here's my thought process on a potential vampire-gideon backstory???
I've always liked the idea of gideon being a vampire, and also becoming a much better person when he's older. And that got me thinking, maybe those two things are linked. Maybe the vampire thing is somehow tied into his reformation.
But I tend to lean towards building my ideas off canon (as opposed to making an AU). And if gideon was a vampire, and knew this during the events of the show, it would have come to light at some point. So, either he doesn't know he's a vampire, or he becomes one later. Becoming one later works narratively, but he's already so vampiric, with the white hair, pale skin, sunscreen, evil, etc. So I'm like, let's go with that.
So, gideon has gone his whole life without knowing he's a vampire, and without drinking blood. I'm thinking that being a vampire in this case (my gravity falls fan version of what a vampire would be) wouldn't adhere to typical vampire conventions. You don't NEED to drink blood to survive.
Here's the idea I got yesterday: after the events of weirdmageddon, gideons experience motivated him to become a better person. It was the awakening, basically. But in the subsequent years, he's still a little shit. Maybe he's in juvenile detention, or prison again. But now, he has the self awareness to know that what he's doing is wrong. This is where my ideas get a little fuzzy, so bear with me. Bud has his suspicions, and as a last resort, puts gideon on some sort of mission trip type of cross country trip, when he's in his teens. And along the way, maybe at the end, there's this secret group of vampires that open gideons eyes to what he really is.
Basically??? Without blood, gideon is very evil. He's an evil little shit. This may not be how it is for every vampire. Maybe some grow very sickly without blood, just get hungry, etc. The effects of blood deficiency vary from vampire to vampire. But Gideon becomes very unhinged. And he'd essentially been Blood Hangry for his whole life. That being said, some of it was just his personality that he needed to work through, but drinking some blood helped a LOT. Blood isn't food for him, it's more like his medication.
Once he has that discovery, he spends a long while, I'm thinking maybe even a year, just recovering from the deficiency. He's almost always drinking blood to keep up his levels, and he's very rarely seen in public to keep the vampire thing a secret. That's what these drawings were supposed to be, him in his pseudo bedridden state. This period in his life would be one big blur; mostly spent binge watching soap operas and being all cozy. In contrast to his usual suit + tie, he's dressing for max comfort: sweatpants, sweatshirt, a knit hat over his ridiculously big hair, and always wrapped in a blanket. Not sure if somehow he feels cold when drinking blood?? But for some reason, I feel like he'd always be wearing like 10 layers and laying under a heated blanket or something.
Eventually, he'd only need to drink blood about once a month for maintenance.
Character development wise - even as an adult, Gideon isn't sure if he's truly a good person. Is the blood deficient version of himself the true gideon? Or is this well adjusted man who he truly is? And there's an issue of the chicken and the egg, too. Gideon was born a vampire. Did these genes activate because he was predisposed to being evil? Or did the vampire thing happen by coincidence? Does being a vampire make him evil, or is it the other way around? He doesn't know, and he never will.
The one thing I'm not sure I like about this idea: i'm worried that I'd be writing off his villainous personality as an illness that can be cured with a thing. Obviously, it would be better if he faced that head on, and figured out how to be better. So I'm still grappling with that. But for now, this is an idea I'm entertaining. Of course, I think it would be interesting if there was a plot point where his usual source of ethically sourced human blood was compromised for a time, and he had to grapple with his personality going topsy turvy.
It's actually embarrassing how much I just wrote???? If you've made it this far, wow, I applaud you. I guess this was just my idea of having a good sunday night, writing down my silly thoughts on gideon gosh darn gleeful. Let me know your thoughts too!!!! I'd love to know if you have any ideas, or questions, or ways to strengthen this potential backstory.
#gideon gleeful#gideon fanart#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls gideon#gideon#vampire gideon#vampire gideon gleeful#gravity falls headcanons#gravity falls headcanon#sketchbook#traditional drawing#traditional art#pencil drawing#doodles#my doodles#monster falls#sure why not
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ᯓ★ YOU TURN ME ON! — JJK MEN
SYNOPSIS...what turns the jjk men on? Don’t worry, I’m here to tell you!
INFO...jjk men (geto, gojo, nanami, toji, choso, higuruma, sukuna) x fem!reader, sexual and non sexual turn ons (kinda), whispering, eye contact, tight clothing, shower sex, p in v, hair pulling, oral (f!receiving and m!receiving), pheromones (?), mention of glasses (sukuna), facial (sukuna), not proofread
OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated
GOJO
gojo loves when you whisper in his ear. Something about you being so close to him, feeling your breath on his skin just does something to him. He gets immediate chills up his body and a small little smirk on his face. It doesn’t even have to be sexual either, you could whisper the most basic shit and he’d be giggling like a school girl cause he just loves hearing your voice in that tone. Now, when it is sexual…that man will nut inside of you without warning. You’re moaning and whispering in his ear? He’s a goner, quite literally on another planet. Nibble on his ear a little and his eyes will roll back. Sometimes you’ll do it in purpose while you two are out in public and he gives you the biggest pout ever. “Baby, don’t do that to me c’mon,” he whines. He damn near dragged you to the car and fucked you in the backseat…
NANAMI
nanami loves eyes contact a little too much. Sometimes it’s intimidating because he’s such a stoic man and doesn’t show very much emotion in his face, so he will just stare at you. But overtime you’ve grown to be comfortable with making eye contact with him, just staring lovingly while he talks about work or whatever. He stares into your eyes so much that he can tell what you’re thinking and feeling. More specifically, he knows when you’re in the mood, the little glint in your eye while you smile at him, looking at him up and down like he’s a piece of meat. In that case, expect eye contact during sex! Nanami loves missionary just looking at you, forehead pressed against yours, and he can’t get over that pleading look, batting your pretty lashes at him while you moan his name. “Yes, right here, baby. Keep looking at me. There’s my girl,” he softly sighs.
TOJI
toji loves tight clothes (no surprise). He genuinely thinks you look good in anything, but something about seeing the outline of your body makes him a crazed man. He will nonstop be touching you, handing on your ass, waist, titties, thighs…he does not give a damn. You could be wearing your pajamas and he will still find you sexy. You bend over in something tight? He’s now hard and has to fix the problem, not that he minds. He bends you over right there on the couch with your shorts around your ankles. It’s date night? He’s excited because you’re gonna wear that new dress he bought you—the one that hugs your body so well, showing off all your curves. Wandering eyes follow your every movement while you get ready and be chews on his bottom lip while he thinks of everything he wants to do to you. “Yeah, doll, I don’t think we’ll be making it to dinner tonight,” he chuckles.
GETO
geto loves soapy titties. Now I know that’s like very specific…but I just see him getting turned on by soapy tits for some reason (I don’t make the rules). He doesn’t care what size they are, what they look like, just throw some soap and water on them bad boys and he’s a satisfied man. Bonus points if you send him an unexpected photo in the shower while he’s away. He almost drops his phone while waiting in line for food because he can’t believe his eyes—your perky nipples and soap cascading down your entire body. Expect shower sex…a lot of shower sex. He will go out of his way to help you wash up, trying to be all nice and polite but minutes later his hands are groping your chest and playing with your nipples, soap running between his fingers while he fucks you against the shower wall. “They look so pretty in my hands, baby. I love ‘em.” He lazily smiles.
CHOSO
choso loves when his hair gets pulled or when you play with his hair. He only discovered this when you were doing his hair and accidentally pulled it and to his surprise (and yours) he let out a small whimper. Now you go out of your way to tease him, tugging at his hair whenever you walk by, giggling when he huffs in annoyance. He likes laying on your chest and you just run your fingers through his hair, he immediately melts into your touch. Oh but Choso definitely likes it when you tug at his hair when he’s eating you out…why wouldn’t he? It makes him so hard when he feels your fingers entangle in his hair, pulling and tugging at it while you basically ride his face for your pleasure. You only tug harder when you get closer and closer to your orgasm and his dick is throbbing. “Yes, yes, pull on my hair, please, please,” he begs.
HIGURUMA
higuruma gets turned on when you smell good, whether it’s your natural smell or your perfume, conditioner, lotion, whatever you use. You’d walk by him one day in the kitchen, greeting him when came home from work and he stops in his tracks and sniffs the air a couple of times because you smell so good…??? Like really good to the point he just wants to devour you, hold you, do whatever to you. He’ll hold you close and just smell your hair, your skin, kissing you over and over while his hands roam your body. And if you wear a scent that evokes memories of you two, like a first date or something like that…he pounces on you like a tiger. “How do you smell so fucking good? God, I could just eat you up right now…would you let me?”
SUKUNA
sukuna loves glasses. Yes I said it. Modern sukuna more specifically cause yk…But he will see a woman with glasses and think about how cute her face looks, how smart she looks…the innocent thoughts at first, and then his evil, horny ass would think about what they would look like when he’s fucking you. He can never be wholesome. Will they fog up? Will you let him cum on them? Do you even keep them on? Will they break if he fucks you too hard? All questions that need to be answered. So yes, he eventually fucks a woman with glasses and god does he love it. He finds it adorable when you push up your glasses every ten seconds cause he’s pounding into you too hard. He loves it when you look over them while giving him head. And yes, they do fog up. “Gonna let me cum all over your face? Yeah..? No, no, keep them on for me,” he devilishly smirks, licking his lips.
taglist (comment to be added):
@valleydoli @zxnxy @screechingbasementprincess @lexluthorbutnotbald @lynxslokley @briyah0 @levisjinchuriki @maiiluvs @levizonlywife @xllizs @sm8th0p @waterfal-ling @bonneyzsk @ventila98
#—☆classyrbf#jjk#jujustu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk smut#toji x reader#gojo x reader#nanami x reader#geto x reader#choso x reader#higuruma x reader#sukuna x reader#jjk headcanons#jjk smut headcanons#toji smut#gojo smut#nanami smut#geto smut#choso smut#higuruma smut#sukuna smut#toji headcanons#gojo headcanons#geto headcanons#nanami headcanons#choso headcanons#sukuna headcanons#higuruma headcanons
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When You're On Your Period- The Love And DeepSpace Men
parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader genre: fluff, comfort a/n: posting my drafts atm bc i just have writers block sorrys /ᐠ - ˕ -マ
any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
Xavier:
He's not particularly educated in the realm of menstruation. So when he saw you clutching your sides in agony, he was so worried about you and ran to your side. He thought you were sick or injured. You try to explain to him that you're just on your period and he eagerly listens to you as you explain it to him.
It's his mission to try and make everything easy for you and makes a special effort to bring you things that might make you feel a little better.
"Can you buy me pads with/out wings?" And he would be really confused at first. He would think you want pads and wings. He would stand in the aisle for a while figuring out which ones you needed. So he'll come back home with a BUNCH of menstrual products with wings from your favorite restaurant.
But also the type to buy you your favorite snacks and drinks before you even ask. Sometimes he'll come home with a small plushie for some support.
Lowkey worried if you're going to be alright but he knows you're strong and will remind himself that you know how to handle yourself.
He would gently massage any areas that were aching. Lots of your time is spent in his arms or resting your head on his chest and he explains that the health website says its "beneficial" to do so and you're not complaining. He's so comfy.
Zayne:
In the beginning of your relationship, he was kind of inexperienced in this department. He knew some knowledge about the menstrual cycle but not too much so he made sure to educate himself so he knows how to take better care of you.
He runs down to the pharmacy to get you some pain medication and any menstrual products you need without any ounce of embarrassment. He doesn't find a reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed about getting you things for your period. Makes sure you have enough supplies to last you the whole week.
Prepares you some yummy warm foods that are nutritious for you and all cooked to your liking. He would also make sure to run down to your favorite bakery to pick you up some baked goods.
If you suffer from cramps, then he would find the best pill for you or make you effective tea. He'll also offer any massages you want on your body and let's just say this man is good with his hands that you don't want his hands off of you.
The type to not tell you that you stained the bed. He'll prepare you a soothing bath while he washes the sheets. When you come back the bed is nice and warm.
He'll start marking it down on his calendar so he can be prepared more in the future
Rafayel:
He would kind of forget periods are a thing but once you remind him, he'll try his best to take care of you. He has good intentions looking out for you and getting whatever you need. You would text him if he can get something for you and he's already on his way to you with whatever you requested.
He'll pay attention to your specific needs and preferences. He'll make sure you're getting your rest, staying hydrated, and eating well.
Would joke around and call this "Shark week." Would pray to any gods to bring mercy on him if he were to ever to be sassy to you on your period.
He'll be worried about you but he knows that you're strong. That doesn't mean he'll leave you alone during this time, unless you want him too. He'll be there to try and ease everything as much as he could.
If you were to have any bad cramps, he would give your lower abdomen a small massage while talking too it. "Hey don't be so mean to my cutie....." or sometimes he'll tell you some stories about Lemuria or maybe hum you a song in Lemurian to get your mind off it. Your head would be resting on his chest, his hands massaging gently into your aching sides.
It's easy to fall asleep in his arms because he can be so warm from his evol
He'll offer to make you a bath and gather your favorite bath bombs and your oils that might ease your discomfort. He would have the perfect temperature for you and would help undress you and help you into the bathtub. Would also feed you some yummy fruits like a princess while you were in the bath
Sylus:
Sylus treats you like royalty the entire time you're on your period. He's extra patient and understanding. You don't have to feel embarrassed at all with him and he will never be disgusted by you being on your period.
If you ever stained the bed, he would clean it up for you. He would reassure you that everything is okay and that bleeding is normal. He'll help run a bath for you while he cleans the sheets. He would never use these situations against you or even embarrass you about it.
He's always there to give you a massage knowing how bad cramps can be. Tell him where it hurts and he'll immediately massage the area with his hands. If massages weren't helping, then he'll warm up a heating pad for you and would find the best painkillers to make it go away.
The first time you were on your period, he bought way to many products for you so you were stocked up. Eventually in the future he knows the exact brand and everything you could possibly need.
When you wake up, he already has a meal prepared for you. Sometimes it'll be made from a private chef or he made it on his own. He'll gladly carry you to the kitchen so he can feed it to you or if you want, you can eat in bed.
Would give you random and frequent kisses. He knows that during this time you can go through a lot of emotions so he'll make sure to give you kisses to remind you that he loves and cares about you.
#xavier x reader#xavier x you#xavier x y/n#zayne x reader#zayne x you#zayne x y/n#rafayel x reader#rafayel x you#rafayel x y/n#sylus x reader#sylus x you#sylus x y/n#xavier love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#xavier lads#zayne lads#rafayel lads#sylus lads#love and deepspace#love and deepspace fic#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace scenarios#love and deep space#lads x reader#lads x you#lads x y/n
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yan! ex husband (pt. 2)
was supposed to write something on Wednesday but i was still sick. i think i have the worst luck since june came but i am feeling a lot better now. i was almost sent to the hospital but it's a good thing, i wasn't. here is the update for you guys, sorry for the long wait.
He's crazy.
You looked as he gripped on the divorce papers with so much ferocity that you had ever seen him. He's diligently and quickly reading the fine print as his hands shake from gripping on it. It feels as though you are watching a man descend to madness.
It made you step back away from him.
Then, the paper falls from his grip.
You took one step back further.
"I..." He started. "No... Why?" Now, he is staring at you like you had wronged him when he is the one who left you hanging for years!
"Just sign it."
"No!" He looked at you with pleading eyes. "I can still fix this. What do I need to do? Do I need to earn more? Spend money on you? What should I do?"
You took a deep breath before looking at him with cold eyes. "Nothing."
"Nothing...?" He repeated softly.
"I don't need anything from you." You stated. "Just sign it."
"But... I..." He looked down at the paper, tears slowly filling up in his eyes.
You gave him a little push as you bent down in front of him, giving him the pen and pushing the divorce papers in his face. "C'mon, sign this as a last token of your appreciation for me."
Holding his shaking hand towards the paper, you gave him a smile as he stared at you through his tears. "I..."
"If you still have love left inside your heart, sign the paper."
That was the last time you ever saw him. As soon as he signed his signature, you dropped your smile and left him. Not before telling him your parting words.
"We shouldn't have wasted our time together." You didn't turn back to look at him. "Especially when you only think for yourself."
It's over.
He repeated those words in his mind again and again as he was left hanging at your shared apartment. The pen that he used to sign your divorce paper was left forgotten in the ground. He could only stare emotionless at the wall as he slowly processed what had happened to him.
It's over.
He had arrived at home from his residency. Early for change and excited to rest and spend time with you. He's eager to try your cooking after years of hospital food.
It's over.
He could hear his own breathing.
He could still feel the tears in his face.
He could barely move.
He could remember your face for the last time.
It's over.
Time must've passed by, the window no longer emitted the light from the sun but he still remain on his place as he thought back on how could he fucked up.
He didn't cheat.
He didn't do anything wrong.
He is always there for you.
There's no reason for divorce.
It's over.
He doesn't know what day it is. But, he had managed to find strength to move and go to work because you wouldn't want a useless husband, right?
This… this will pass.
You will be back and everything will be okay.
It's not over yet.
He doesn't really remember what actually happened. He looked at the spot next to his side of the bed, wondering when you would be home. He shrugged, laying on his side as he hugged your pillow to make up for your lack of presence.
(He also doesn't remember when was the last time you two had a date.)
(He also doesn't remember when it was your birthday and your anniversary.)
(He also doesn't remember what your job is.)
(He also doesn't remember your favorite music as of late.)
(He doesn't remember if you bought a new book and a new plushie.)
(He doesn't remember what your current comfort food.)
He went to sleep, not remembering a thing.
It hits him that you weren't coming back when he saw you at a cafe in a different part of the country. He was at a seminar when caught wind of you and almost called your name when he saw you with another person.
So, he watched you in the distance as he greedily tried to memorize your current appearance.
Then, he remembered.
Suddenly, he felt he was in your shared apartment again —on the floor, crying for you.
He remembered that you weren't coming back to him.
That's fine.
He continued to observe you. The lease for your shared apartment is expiring soon, he had already bought a house for the both of you. It will not trouble him trying to talk sense to you. He won't be an absent husband —he changed, he will take care of you now. He learned his lessons.
It's time for you to go back to him, please.
He followed you when you parted ways with your little friend. He will take care of that guy later but he needs to take care of you first.
Lovingly.
He slowly and cautiously walked towards you. Appearing harmless to you with a smile and a wave.
“Hey,” he greeted you.
He soaked up all of your attention as your eyes widened in surprise.
“What are you doing here?” You glared at him.
He put his arms up as if to show you he means no harm. “I have a seminar in this area.”
You glared more.
“I was surprised to see you so I figured I could go and say my greetings to you.”
“Well you already did,” you snapped back at him. “Leave.”
“Let’s catch up first, darling.” He purred. “I have words to say to you.”
“Leave.”
“Don't be heartless.” He quipped. “It reminded me of the time you forced me to sign out divorce papers.”
You are always smart, aren't you? He chuckled as he watched your expression drop into nervousness while still staring at him with such intense eyes.
But, he knows you.
You wouldn't dare cause a scene in public.
“Fine. I am picking where we are going.”
He smiled even wider when you scoffed at him.
So cute.
He would not let you go now.
i wished i have managed to captured the essence of the descend to insanity and mc's personality. mc isn't a good person and neither is yan! ex for that matter but that makes them human in a way —and i wanna try and capture that feeling. in a way, mc was passive during their relationship together and yan! ex was too complacent that he could fucked up and mc would accept him either way. but, that's not how it works out for him and he's in denial for that. one could argue that they could've talk and communicate with each other —it will work out but mc needed to leave in order to grow. yan! ex just didn't get that nor does he want that.
#yandere x reader#tw yandere#x reader#yandere#x reader insert#yandere ex#yandere x darling#yandere oc#yandere male
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Circe’s Observation: Moon Sign and Your Mother
Note: These are just my own observations, ideas, thoughts and theories. This is just for entertainment purposes. Also, please be respectful of my observations! It is perfectly understandable to not resonate with some of my personal observations but please do not leave any disrespectful comments! Lastly, please don’t plagiarize any of my works!Without further ado, enjoy!
**All photos are from Pinterest**
Aries Moon:
✿ On the bright side, Aries Moon have mothers who are very independent and strong
✿ They can be seen as someone who can handle a lot of things without having to seek someone else’s help
✿ They are mothers who are often the head of the house and makes the rules
✿ They are also people who are very driven in the things they do and someone who is always active
✿ The more dominant parent/figure in the family
✿ Mothers who make most of the decisions for the family
✿ Mothers who are protective over her children
✿ Their mothers could have been or are very active/athletic
✿ Yet, on the negative side, they can be seen as mothers who are impatient and domineering.
✿ Someone who seeks control all of the time and someone who is very argumentative
✿ I think Seventeen Joshua might be an Aries Moon instead of a Taurus moon because he stated that his mother was very hardworking and raised him all by herself (this is just my opinion btw)
Taurus Moon:
✿ Very protective mothers
✿ These mothers are viewed as strong-willed, stubborn and patient
✿ Natives tend to have a close relationship with their mothers
✿ Mothers who would constantly check up on their children to ensure their child's safety and also for security
✿ Very responsible mothers
✿ Someone who likes to dress their children up (especially daughters)
✿ Mothers may often feel comfortable sharing their clothes with their daughters as they grow older. (I seen this happening with both my cousin and my friend)
✿ On the other hand, their mothers can also be viewed as someone who is very materialistic and superficial
✿ These mothers may also show their love language through cooking for the native or just something related with food
✿ My cousin is a taurus moon and my aunt would be very picky about what foods my cousin consumes especially as an infant (Like no salt in the food and vegetables only).
✿ But also, my aunt spends a lot of her income into makeup, bags and jewelries, etc.
✿ The natives can inherit the mother's relationship with food for some reason...
Gemini Moon:
✿ Mother might gossip a lot
✿ A little bit scattered but also someone who is very mentally stimulating
✿ Mother may be someone who values intelligence or socialization
✿ Native may see mother as someone who is very chatty/gossipy
✿ Mother may also look very youthful
✿ The type of mother who may be mistaken as their child’s sister
✿ Someone who is very versatile and flexible with their ways
✿ Natives may view their mother as someone adaptable but also someone who is very flakey
✿ Natives may also admire their mother for their intelligence and adaptability
✿ Also, natives with Gemini moons tend to have siblings as well (ex: Rachel McAdam, Heidi Klum, Ateez's Hongjoong and Yunho, Seventeen's Hoshi, Monster X's Minhyuk, Itzy's Yuna, NCT's Doyoung, it goes on and on.)
✿ Also, mercurial moons tend to look like their mothers?
Cancer Moon:
✿ May have mothers who are nurturing and maybe even baby their child a lot
✿ Mothers who are very attached to their kids or their children plays a huge role in the mothers life.
✿ May be a bit too smothering and places too much emphasis on the child
✿ Cancer moon individuals typically have a good relationship with their mother
✿ Cancer moon natives who have good relationships with their mother tend to take on their mother's nurturing energy in their own lives
✿ On the other side, cancer moon individuals may view their mother as overemotional and hard to communicate with
✿ They may also be very manipulative and unstable
✿ Oftentimes, the mother may get very emotional and might cry when the native upsets them
✿ Cancer moon mothers tend to be the 'stereotypical' mothers in a way
✿ They tend to follow the traditional gender roles in their home
✿ Seventeen's Dokyeom have a cancer moon and they always say that he was 'raised in a warm home'
✿ Additionally, Enhypen's Jay is also a cancer moon and he has a really wholesome relationship with his mother too
Leo Moon:
✿ Mother tend to fixate more on themselves than their children
✿ A little self-centered and dramatic
✿ Someone who appears very confident and sure of themselves
✿ On the bad side, someone who may have a narcissistic personality
✿ And the individual moon may view their mothers as someone who is in constant need of attention
✿ May be the one with authority in the family/authority parent
✿ Most Leo Moon friend I have does not have the best relationship with their mothers
✿ One of them, her mother values popularity and is a drama queen...
✿ Two of them, their mothers tend to prioritize their other children over the native
Virgo Moon:
✿ Mothers who pay close attention to their child's lifestyle and health
✿ Mothers who may be very critical
✿ Mothers who are detailed-orientated when it comes to their child like walking a specific way or the child's postures, etc.
✿ Shows their love through acts of service
✿ They tend to be very keen about being clean
✿ First to point out the native's flaws
✿ The native may think that their mother do not care as much for them as they do with their siblings
✿ The character Hong Haein from Queen of Tears have a virgo moon and her relationship with her mother is often strained because she always thought her mother cared more about her younger brother than her (which was true tho...)
✿ Additionally, her mother saw Haein as the child who was more capable of taking care of herself which Virgo Moon mothers tend to do
✿ They put their child in a more responsible position than their other children
✿ The type of mother who their child can rely on like a safety net at the end of the day
✿ The mother may expect the native to be more productive in their day to day life compared to their siblings. More towards the way of "I expect the house to be clean by the time I'm home from work."
Libra Moon:
✿ Prioritizes beauty and focuses on the better things in life
✿ May prioritize their other relationships over their children especially romantic relationships.
✿ Very beauty-orientated
✿ May be just as superficial as Taurus moons too
✿ Gossipers!!!
✿ Libra moon natives are usually (not all) more cared for than their siblings as kids for some reason? May be the golden child when younger.
✿ These individuals can be very close with their mother.
✿ Jackson Wang have a libra moon, need I say more?
Scorpio Moon:
✿ Very private and protective mothers
✿ These individuals tend to learn and take after their mother's emotional strength
✿ A lot of scorpio moons tend to have single mothers but also their mother tend to provide financial security (ex: Jennie from Blackpink, Cai Xukun, etc)
✿ Also another one that tends to have a close mother-child relationship, for the better or the worse...
✿ Scorpio Moons remind me of Ms. Moh and Eungseong in Queen of Tears (He's either a Scorpio Moon or a Capricorn Moon... but I'm leaning towards Scorpio due to his abandonment issues and his mother's way of compensating for her absence was literally through giving him the money she obtained from chairman Hong).
✿ Someone who may be manipulative, calculative and sly
✿ However, they will always back their children up
✿ They type of mother who never sees their child's wrongdoing...
✿ May have a hard time expressing their love and affection towards their children
✿ Even though the relationship between the native and their mothers are most often described as "intense" and "complicated" the mother will protect their children even if the child is at fault.
✿ I think scorpio moon mothers either trust their child 100% or put little trust in her children.
✿ I think scorpio moon mothers prefer to be private but they will show themselves if they think their children is in danger. (ex: Cai Xukun using him as a example again 😭)
Sagittarius Moon:
✿ Social butterflies!
✿ They may have travelled a lot or just someone who enjoys traveling
✿ Mother may be someone who always seek knowledge
✿ Mother may also put a lot of emphasis on higher education
✿ May be impulsive...or just quick tempered
✿ 0 to 100 real quick as they are Jupiter-ruled
✿ I remember when BTS Namjoon said that his mother ruined his computer and mic because she wanted him to focus on his studies
✿ Mother may be the type to take their children traveling to learn about the world
✿ May also be the type to take interest in trivia or just have a lot of random knowledge
Capricorn Moon:
✿ Another one whose mothers tend to be very private
✿ Another one of mothers may have a hard time expressing their love and affection outwardly/towards their children
✿ But may also be very cutthroat and focuses on business more than their family
✿ A lot of Capricorn moons in my life typically do not have a good relationship with their mothers
✿ Natives with Capricorn moons may view their mother as someone who is very stern and unsympathetic
✿ Capricorn moon mothers are the type of mother to use authoritarian parenting style along with Aries moon (just my take, not every Capricorn/Aries moon mothers are like that!)
✿ On the bright side, like most earth moons, Capricorn moon mothers may be perceived as someone responsible and mature
✿ They are someone who is practical and ambitious
✿ Usually, the native with Capricorn moon will take on this trait too
Aquarius Moon:
✿ Mother either acts like a friend to the native or they are very detached from the native...
✿ Mother may be very open-minded
✿ Song Jia have an Aquarius moon and she stated once that her only friend is her mother
✿ Celebrities/idols who have Aquarius moons, their mothers tend to be loved by the community
✿ May appear in social media more than other moon signs
✿ Mothers who may be very involved with their communities
✿ Billie Eilish and her mother have both taken part in promoting a healthier environment and sustainability for the world
✿ If cancer moons are like the "traditional" mothers, then Aquarius moons would be like the opposite
✿ These mothers values eccentricity, intelligence and community.
✿ For some reason, Aquarius moon mothers gives me the PTO mom vibes 😅
Pisces Moon:
✿ Mothers may be very spiritual or religious
✿ Great manifestors lol
✿ It always remind me of that one story of Seventeen Mingyu’s story of his mother where she went to pray for someone to take him away because he was such a difficult child, and guess what? A week later, he was taken to Pledis as a trainee 😁
✿ Pisces Moon mothers may also be very artistic or creative
✿ Mother may be very deceptive
✿ They say one thing and do the other
✿ Mothers may either be very emotional or too distant
✿ Because of Jupiter + Neptune influence, they can be very ambitious and dream big
✿ A negative manifestation of those with pisces moons may be that their mother may struggle with some sort of addiction. (gambling, drinking, smoking, drugs etc.)
✿ Mother may oftentimes isolate?
MASTERLIST
#astro observations#astro notes#astrology#astrology notes#astrology observations#moon signs#astrology community#circesastro
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*Chan Calling You Clingy*
Genre: Angst/Fluff
Pairing: Bangchan x Reader (GN)
Warnings: none? I mean arguing and cursing? Not proof read
The way this one sounds like it could be real hurts me even more not gonna lie
This is part of a series Find the other members here:
Bangchan, Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin
-🩵
Your boyfriend and you had just arrived in Australia. He had brought you to spend sometime with him and his family. It wasn’t often that he had time to himself it was almost unheard of though that he had time to be able to visit his home and family. This was not the first time you had met his family. You and Chan had been dating for a few years now. They treated you like family and you were comfortable around them. Chan was able to get 4 whole days here with his family and it made you so very happy to see him be able to spend time with them.
You followed him around a lot while you were there, although you were comfortable around his family it still made you nervous to be without Chan. His sister who was out in the US with friends had told you about a good food spot there that she said “you totally had to eat at before leaving.”
You asked Chan about it when you got there and he told you “you guys would stop there at some point.” The time was winding down really wanting to stop by you asked him again. He just basically sighed “babe we will” his voice low. He sounded grumpy for some reason you stared at him for a second before asking him what was wrong. He rolled his eyes “nothing y/n” he said getting up to grab his drink. He’s seemed irritated all day today and you don’t know what was wrong. Did you do something? Did someone say something?
You didn’t wanna press, you laid your head on his shoulder only for him to move it making you move your head. You looked confused offended even. What was his problem? Why the fuck won’t he talk to you about it. He looked at you “can you just leave me alone” he hissed. He got up walking to his window to look outside. His mom and dad had went to the store quick to grab a few things for lunch.
“Channie what’s wrong?” You ask voice cracking a bit. “Y/n please” he said in almost a growl. You could feel he was angry but why? It was eating away at you before you kept at it “babe talk to me? What’s wrong? Did I do something?” You asked walking towards him. He spun around “y/n what part of leave me alone don’t you get? You’ve been so clingy the whole damn time I feel like I haven’t even had a chance to spend with my family. Can you just leave me alone!” He spat out his words running together.
He’s never raised his voice at you let alone yet at you like this. You could feel your eyes weld up with tears and you nod “fine I’ll leave you alone” you said before grabbing your bag heading out the front door. You walked to the park chan and you would frequently would go to. You went to play some music to calm you down a bit realizing you forgot your phone at the house. You sat there thinking you should go back for it deciding not to. Not wanting to see Chans dumb cute face right now.
You sat in one of the swings wiping your tears away. You sat there calming yourself down for a bit before going to a spot you two had dubbed as “your spot” it was a small spot covered by trees nice and shady. You laid down underneath it your mind just racing. Thinking about how you’ve been lately. You had kinda clung to him a lot while down here, feeling awkward a bit still not wanting to be alone at his house with his parents yet.
Chan had cooled down a bit he was about to text you but his parents came home. He went to help bring in groceries helping his mom put them away. “Y/n go for a walk?” His mom asked grabbing a pan out of the drawer. He tilted his head a bit as she continued “we saw he walking towards the playground you guys go to all the time.” He breathed out a bit and just nodded not wanting to get into what happened.
He headed back to his room to grab his phone to text you to come back for dinner.
Chan ran, he ran as fast as he could. All the horrible scenarios raced through his head. He felt the tears building up as he ran. As he finally got to the park he frantically looked for you. God where were you! He couldn’t find you, his heart sank fearing the worst. Before remembering the little place you guys had a picnic here under the trees.
He raced to the spot his eyes widened as he saw you lying under it. He felt at ease a bit finally finding you. You had fallen asleep under the trees you looked so pretty but yet so sad with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.
He softly rubbed your shoulder trying not to scare you awake. “Babe wake up” he said softly. Your eyes fluttered awake bringing your hand up to wipe at them. Trying to focus your eyes and wake yourself up you stared up only to be met with Chans gaze. You sat up looking around forgetting you had come to the park “did I fall asleep” you asked rubbing your head.
Chan almost full on tackled you wrapping his arms around you pulling you to him. “Y/n I’m so sorry for what I said to you” he said burring his face into your shoulder. “I brought you here to spend time with me and my family and all I did was be an asshole.” He said his voice sounded so sad, cracking in parts. He sniffled as he tried to choke back his tears “I shouldn’t have lashed out at you, I’m just sad we have to leave. It’s so hard for me to leave.” He stuttered “I hate that I only get to visit so little. I want to spend more than a few measly days with my family you know? It’s all I ever get. The others get to see their families why can’t I”
At this point he was sobbing into the crook of your neck. You’ve never really seen him cry it’s normally only a few tears before he pushes it away. He doesn’t show this side very often not wanted to seem weak. But here he was crying so hard on your shoulder.
You rubbed the back of his head as you let him cry it out. He started to calm down a bit “Chan I’m sorry if I took away time with your family.” You said still rubbing the back of his head. He shook it no “no no don’t say that you’re part of our family now. I’m sorry for the way I acted you didn’t deserve that.” He pulled away from you wanting to look at your face. He places a hand on the side of your face as he rubbed your cheek with his thumb. “You aren’t clingy by the way, I just said it while I was mad. I know it won’t take away the hurt but please don’t make it make you pull away. I love how you are and I’d never change anything about you.”
His eyes searched your face only to be met with a small stream of tears “I just don’t wanna be to clingy to the point I push you away either.” You said through tears. “You won’t I promise you. I promise you my love. You will never push me away. You’re stuck with me remember?” He said tapping his finger at the promise ring he got you a few months ago “I’m not going anywhere.” He said before pulling you into him. “I love you angel” he said kissing your cheek. “And I love you too” you said whipping away the tears.
He helped you up giving you a big long hug before heading home to the delicious lay out of food his parent had just got done preparing. You headed to the bedroom to find your phone with all his messages. “Babe I’m sorry I never responded to you. I left my phone here” you said with puppy dog eyes looking at him. “It’s ok my love, I’m just happy you’re safe.”
💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵
#stray kids#skz#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#bangchan#bangchan scenarios#bangchan drabble#bangchan imagines#skz drabbles#skz imagines#stray kids angst#bangchan angst#skz fluff#bangchan fluff#bangchan x reader#Lee know#changbin#hyunjin#Han jisung#felix#lee Felix#seungmin#jeongin
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Astarion doesn't ask for affection because he can't..... yet.
Ah, more tea steeping in this seeming endless sea of thoughts. This brew is a bit strong on the heart. Read with caution.
Warning for game spoilers and talk of abuse.
This perspective is from game content only. How anybody cannons their relationships or behaviors is perfectly right. No blame, no shame, it's your game.
I was always miffed at the lack of initiated affection from Astarion as a partner. YOU ask him for a kiss. YOU ask him for a hug. YOU ask him to tell you thank you after being an amazing partner and killing a massive beastie just for him! Brat...
But then I had a sudden realization. Given his past, affection is probably insanely hard to ask for. Like it can be for a lot of us.
Stay awhile and listen. (nerd)
Now when I speak of narcissistic abuse I am only speaking from what I know about it. I have no academic or phycology degree on the matter. Just good ol' tossed in the pond and forced to sink or swim experience.
Astarion spent 200 years under the crushing weight of narcissistic / psychopathic abuse. One of the things these types of abusers love to do is take what you love and make you hate it and then make you hate yourself for ever having liked it to begin with. All very nasty business that. But it's one of the main corner stones for the cage they build to control you.
They make you feel as if the request of a simple hug is the most pathetic thing you could ask for. Or the most selfish thing as it inconveniences them. They don't want it, why should they give it to you?
Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..
200 years with a master who used him like a tool. 200 years with siblings that fought amongst each other so much comfort was a liability. Nights coming home assaulted only to be mocked for your tears. Insulted for your need of comfort.
"Pathetic! Weak! Disgusting! "
Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..
Affection was nowhere to be found there, I assure you.
And for a Narc. anything given is expected to be "earned" in any way they see fit. And if you were "rewarded" with anything, it comes at high price.
And how dare you not find it fair. You ingrate!
Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..
Hugs are pathetic. Kisses are an intrusion. Or they become gateways to other unwanted behaviors. To be held...what are you? A baby? The only way you are going to get held, is down.
Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue.. The pattern continues.
But you ask HIM for a kiss. And he says..
"There is nothing I'd like more."
And he means it.
I'd bet a mountain of gold he wants to just ask you himself. But years of conditioning to expect pain when seeking pleasure probably keeps him in a choke hold. Like rats that are shocked every time they try to eat food out of a dish. They learn it is safer to starve.
"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or a hug, but they might think i'm weak. But if they ask me first then it's them who wants it and they can't degrade me for it because they asked, not me. It's safe then."
"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or hug, but they might reject me for being too needy and shame and berate me for being so selfish or demanding of their time and person. But if they ask they have time and want me to kiss/hug them."
"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or a hug, but my primal brain keeps telling me they might demand more than I want to give in return for it. But if they ask, I have the power of negotiating the outcome."
This leads me to believe he would view sex and affection very differently as well.
Where most find affection safe and nurturing, it's anxiety educing and unsafe. It means there are feelings and if there are feelings there is the risk and fear of rejection or judgment. It's much scarier.
Where most find sex to be connecting and intimate, it's been used so much it's lost any meaning. Something you can do a thousand times over and walk away the second it's done and feel nothing afterward.
This may even be a part of the reason why he wants to stop having sex.
He wants to connect with you in ways denied to him. He wants the experience of being courted, treasured, nurtured. It means so much more to him than sex. It is so much more connecting.
Feeling this way is wretched and lonely. The most basic instinct is to want to seek comfort in the arms of those who love us. But it's broken. The risk is too great.
And it's hard. Because you could be the sweetest most honorable Tav in the whole of Fearun. But after being fed poised apples one too many times, all apples appear poisonous regardless of if is true or not.
I have no doubt that this prickly elf soaks up every second of non sexual affection you give him. And truly is grateful for your patience while he slowly and carefully disarms the safety measures he put in place to survive. The fact that he even allowed you to touch him like that at all was a monumental act of trust. And why not? You are incredible after all.
I'm going to go ask my elf for a kiss now. And then cry in my cup.
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Kim Mingyu as a boyfriend...
I feel like people naturally gravitate towards Mingyu
And that's for many different reasons
He's always given off the impression that he's a kind person
The way he treats his members (basically his brothers at this point)
The way other people act around him
Idk I've just always gotten the impression that what you see on camera is most likely what Mingyu is like off camera
He's just a real dude living that "idol" life
So anyways...
What would it be like to date Mingyu?
Well first off all, I think he'd make you laugh
A. Lot.
A literal ray of sunshine
Mingyu is an extrovert
Extroverts get a lot of their energy from being around other people
I'd see him acting all happy, trying to wake you up in the morning
Kissing your face all over, whispering, "Wake up."
Of course with that infamous smile on his face
Or picture going out to eat with him.
Sitting at the table, picking food off of each other's plates, just talking about your day
Or going to different things together, like parties
And he's navigating through the crowd, holding your hand tightly in his own, never letting go of it
Oh, imagine the hugs he'd give?
He's so tall so it'd feel like you're being enveloped into his warm, *muscular*, embrace.
You'd probably meet Wonwoo first considering the fact that they live together
I see Mingyu as the type to really help you out when it comes to social situations
If you were a little shy around his members when you first met them, he would always be by your side, making jokes and trying to get you to feel comfortable and fit in
Because he cares about you, and he wants you to become as close with his members as he is
Another trait of Mingyu's is that he gets flustered when he gets complimented
He appears to be a really confident person, but I do think that deep down, praise is something he might not necessarily e used to hearing
Like don't get me wrong, I'm sure that he's aware of the fact that he's a hot man...
But even the hotties have their days where they need some encouragement
So when you compliment his hair, or his outfit
You can see how his cheeks turn red and he starts to nervously laugh
"What? Mingyu I think you should wear that color more often!" you'd laugh as you watched Mingyu cover his face, peeping in the mirror in front of him to see if you were telling the truth.
As with most of my BF headcanon posts, I'm sure Mingyu would be counting down the days until he felt like the relationship was serious enough to introduce you to his family
And he'd really try to make sure you meshed well with them too, just like with the members
Anyways, back to more of his litlte habits
Mingyu would be the type of boyfriend that would do something stupid just to make you smile or, even better, laugh if you were having a bad day
It legitimately breaks his heart to see you upset
Would have beef with anyone who hurt you
You got in a fight with your friend, but you resolved it? Mingyu tolerates her, but deep down, he hates her now
But he'd never tell you that because he doesn't want to overstep
But if you and that friend ever got in another fight, the minute you'd try to vent to Mingyu he'd blurt out;
"I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON WHY I NEVER LIKED HER!"
And you'd be like: 👀
But speaking of friends...
I think he'd constantly be talking about you
In his friend group
With the other members
He'd become that guy where someone would ask him what he did over the weekend or on his day off and he'd turn the conversation into a 30 minute conversation of why you'd be the best perosn to travel with or something
Remember how I said Mingyu is always there beside you to back you up?
Well, even if you aren't with him, he's always going to hype you up if he mentions you
Another trait of his that comes to mind is his cooking skill
Word on the street is that Mingyu can chef it up
So let's say you don't feel like going out that night
No problem, Mingyu's gonna make you some good home cooking
And he's say something stupid like how the food is "infused with his love."
*Ahem*
If you're a frequent reader, you know what time it is...
Shexy Shtuffffff
GURL
Have you seen those arms?
Yes? Well I'm gonna show you a pic anyways
Just so we have a visual element involved
What's that doja cat song? Where she talks about that wrestling position lmao
omg let me shut up
Okay, for him I see a lot of physical affection
A lot of making out
Kisses would be his version of eye contact
A lot of caressing your face
He's pretty athletic, so I could see him having high stamina
Like, I don't see you being able to retire for the night after one round with him unless he's really tired from work
Would probably be loud in bed
But I don't see him as a risk taker when it comes to stuff like location
So you'd be getting freaky ONLY in the sheets
Or maybe the shower
Here's my thought process:
Maybe if he knows no one's around he'd do you on the couch if you were watching something and he was getting turned on
But I mainly see him as the type to do the foreplay on the couch or in the kitchen
Or maybe if you guys are out somewhere and he's starting to get a little frisky
He'd be he type to rush home just so you could have sex
Um, and if you've seen that man, enjoy and congratulations
_
TAGS: @minvxq *I remembered!*
_
{A/N: Hiiiii. I know it's been a month but the winter season has me DEPRESSED. I had a pretty hectic end to my semester. A lot of work all at once but I'm officially on my winter break now and my brain can finally feel like it has a break ,which means I had the mental clarity to write again. I thought a head canon would be a good way to ease back into writing, so I hope you guys like it. This one was requested so as always, I love you and have a good day/night, mwahhhhh💋}
#mingyu#kim mingyu#seventeen#svt#seventeen headcanons#seventeen as boyfriends#seventeen smut#seventeen x reader#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#svt smut#svt x reader#svt headcanons#mingyu x reader#mingyu seventeen#mingyu fluff#mingyu smut#mingyu imagines
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How did ghosts relationship with selectively mute reader come about?? I feel like the fact they’re both neurodivergent is one of the reasons why ghosts so into her but how did they overcome her selective muteness towards him?
I think Ghost met her initially when she was out with a friend at a pub. Initially the friend was the conduit when he approached her— came with the explanation that “She’s mute. Well, sometimes. But she thinks you’re hot too.” Cue the friend being lightly slapped on the arm.
For her, guys usually gently pulled away once they found out she wasn’t going to say anything. Ghost didn’t, because she didn’t seem to want him to. He’s perfectly fine with enjoying silence, and he can learn to ask yes or no questions. And because he doesn’t create any pressure for a response, it was easier and faster than usual for her to add him to her list of comfortable people.
He’s also completely fine with taking the interaction helm when they’re out together— on their first real date, he ordered the things she wanted for her (she just pointed to things on a menu) like it was an instinct. No fuss, no teasing, it was like he’d always been doing it. He’s very adaptable that way. And observant to a fault— he can’t help being constantly aware. So over time he learned what kind of settings made her less anxious, the kinds of food she was comfortable with, and tailored their time together around that. Once again, no fuss. He just wants to spend time with her, and he sees no reason that he shouldn’t make it as stress-free as possible for her.
And for those of you who may not know. That’s exactly how you get anxious bitches to fall in love with you (I’m bitches).
And when she does start speaking around him, he matches her pace perfectly. Still keeps his questions and prompts very simple, doesn’t get frustrated if she goes back to being quiet around him for a little while. He’s dealt with a lot of people with varying degrees of anxiety, it comes with his job, and he’s very good at not taking any of it personally. He knows she likes him, because she tells him when she can, and shows him when she can’t tell him.
And that whole thing about pressure to speak goes both ways. He’s used to one-on-one time feeling like he’s under a microscope, and it can make him anxious. But she makes him feel seen as opposed to examined. She doesn’t find it strange that he doesn’t say anything if he doesn’t have anything to say. Her invitations for time in a shared space are always very open and she leaves plenty of room for him to withdraw if he has to. And she’s more than fine with just basically doing parallel play— doing their own thing but just being in the same space. That can be a date for her.
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dating him | kim seungmin
❝ kiss me first ❞
chan | lee know | changbin | hyunjin | han | felix | SEUNGMIN | jeongin
best friends to lovers type beat
it HAS to be
like seungmin doesn’t give me eager for love
i don’t think he’s ever rly prioritized it
that’s why it’s essential that this is a best friends to lovers love story
bc he would’ve had to fall in love in between the silence of friends
there isn’t even a light bulb moment
more of an “oh” moment really
like oh, i’ve fallen in love with my best friend
bc i think it takes A LOT for this boy to add romance in his life
he strikes me as the type that prioritizes his comfort and his routine
so he doesn’t fall in love easily
but turns out, he’s not so immune after all
seungmin has sudden urges to kiss u too
like woah 😂😂😂 let’s check the label first 😂😂😂😂
YEAH. BEST FRIENDS.
he couldn’t take it any longer tho
he asks u out and long story short
he’s ur boyfriend now
he doesn’t rly change much
seungmin is still a menace
this time he just gets to kiss you
he’s always comparing hand size with u
size kink much ?!!??
teases u bc ur hand is smaller than felix’s
and that boy’s hand … miniature
tbh i think it’s just an excuse to hold ur hand
but once he shows u his palms, u already know what’s up
either hold his hand or COMPARE
is 100% the type to hold ur hand in the pocket of his hoodie btw
his face is nonchalant the whole time
he does it when he notices ur hands r a little cold and trembling
it’s his attempt to warm ur hand up
i think his face is nonchalant bc it’s just natural to him
like he doesn’t think anything of it .. just him helping his partner so they don’t suffer
his favorite date with u would be karaoke dates
u know how in korea, they have karaokes where u can challenge other rooms
yeah u do that a lot
and when u start losing, u just whip out ur secret weapon
aka kim seungmin
what can u say
it’s all about winning
and u are a sore loser
seungmin ofc ends up winning it for u guys so u always get free food bc that’s the wager yall always bet on
he always lets u decide which food too
and if u rlly like the snack u’re betting on, he tries extra hard
(here’s a secret: he thinks of u when he sings love songs so that extra bit of emotion he uses while singing ? lowkey u’re still the reason u guys won)
another favorite date of seungmin’s is visiting dog shelters
you two have successfully named all the dogs in ur local dog shelter
u’d just visit from time to time to check on them and play with them
“hi fang!!!!! where’s ur sister and ur mother!!!! how about berry 2.0 and kkami wannabe!!!!”
eventually, you guys do adopt ur own puppy
he gets jealous at first bc now ur attention is divided
but then HIS attention gets divided
i think u two would be good dog parents
he would activate the puppy’s playful side
you’d swoop in when ur puppy is tired and u just wanna give them love and cuddles
he likes it when u refer to urselves as the parents of ur dog
also loves talking in 3rd person like “mom is mad at me today” to ur puppy
anyways moving on
his love language is for sure acts of service
would fold ur laundry for u
would do ur most hatest chore
he’d make u coffee the way u like in the morning
and it’s all just instinct to him again
like he just DOES it without being told to
HOWEVER
however ….
listen to me
if you ask him to do something for u
kim “kiss first” seungmin spawns
“seungmin, can you reach this for me?”
“kiss me first”
“seungmin, do u know where my shoes are?”
“kiss me first”
like DAMNNNNN taking advantage of the moment, i see
he enjoys it so much
he’d have his lips puckered, knees bent a little to ur height, and he waits
bc he knows u always do it
btw i think he has a secret instagram just full of photos of you ☹️☹️☹️☹️
he’d tell u he has a photography acc
little do u know, it’s just you all over
is that why he loves to bring his camera around in dates ?!?
unlimited supply of his hoodies #2
but unlike chan, he acts like it bothers him
he just likes riling u up
another way he riles up up is whispering dirty things to u in public bc he’s just a little shit like that
would be the type to say “make me”
and also “prove it”
likeeeeee…
have fun with that thought!
third favorite date is driving around
with his arm around your car seat or rested on your thigh 😊😊😊😊😊
i’m totally sane rn
is not above doing things in his car
u didn’t hear it from me
another hot thing he does are slight squeezes on ur thigh or tapping it to the beat of the music
UGHHGHHNGYNFNFNBGBBGBG
btw when U get to fluster him
he suddenly hugs u
and u’re like ?!!????
u try to look up at him but he presses ur face on his chest, his hand on the back of your head
it’s so u don’t see how red his face is
OR HIS EARS
so if he suddenly hugs u for no reason
you already know why
anyways
whatever
u two are each other’s biggest supporters
bc before u were together, u were best friends already
he knows u like the back of his hand
despite being a little shit, u know he’s in love with you
bc u hear him whisper it when he thinks u’re asleep
and he lets it slip out a lot when he’s tired or when he’s a little tipsy
and he holds u while u sleep and kisses you and comforts u
he rly does love u a lot and cares for u
sometimes i think u’d have arguments just bc he cares about u too much
like u could’ve put ur health at risk
and he isn’t all about that
anyways seungmin doesn’t need to be grand and showy about it for u to know
sometimes, all that matters is what happens behind the scenes
seungmin best boy
note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy
#k-labels#stray kids au#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#seungmin x reader#stray kids fluff#seungmin fanfic#seungmin x you#seungmin x y/n#kim seungmin x reader#kim seungmin headcanons#stray kids headcanons#seungmin fluff#skz x reader#skz imagines#stray kids drabbles#stray kids blurbs#stray kids x you#stray kids fic#stray kids oneshot#seungmin drabbles#kpop scenarios#kpop drabbles#kpop imagines#kpop headcanons
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Hi Mae since u said u would be willing to do an ED reader here's a lil idea for James or tasm Peter but them with a gf who had a really bad ED before they met (he doesn't know) and she starts to relapse and he thinks she's just too stressed to eat or something (idk u can pick how the topic comes up) and just her telling him and him comforting her (this is a bit self indulgent bc idk how to tell anyone I'm dating that I'm struggling)
Hi lovely, thank you for your request!
cw: discussion and depiction of eating disorder, anxiety
James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 916 words
You don’t seem much up for talking at dinnertime. Which is fine. James can talk for the both of you.
He prattles on about Sirius’ one-way rivalry with the temp at his work while you cast him half-hearted, flickering smiles and push your food around your plate. He’s made sesame tofu, a first for James but he thought it turned out all right. His plate is clean, whereas yours is all mixed up but he’s fairly sure you’ve only eaten a couple of green beans.
You don’t appear to notice when he finishes his story. Your fork seems almost limp in your hand.
“If you don’t like it,” James says lightly, “I don’t mind making you something else, lovely.”
You look surprised, then guilty. “No, sorry, it’s good.”
It’s not like you would know, but James isn’t cruel enough to point that out. Aside from his own ego, he has other reasons to suspect his cooking has little to do with this.
You’ve been strung up tight, lately. There’s a lot going on at work, some conflict with your boss you don’t really want to talk about, and drama in your family you want to talk about even less. James has tried to make home as comfortable and easy for you as he can, but understandably you’ve grown withdrawn, seemingly exhausted all day long. He wishes he knew how to do more for you. Wishes he could cast a bubble of pure goodness to put you inside so the only things that could get to you were the lovely things you deserve.
“I know you’re stressed,” he says, gently as he can, “but you’ve got to eat, you know? It’s probably cold by now, you could have something else if it’s easier.”
Something painful twinges in your expression. James reaches for your hand on instinct.
“I get that you’ve got a lot going on, angel. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but we could.”
You sigh. “No, it’s…I don’t think it’s what you’re thinking, Jamie.”
James frowns, but forces himself to stay quiet. He has the familiar sense that all he’s doing is putting his foot in his mouth.
After a minute, you say quietly, eyes lingering to the side of your plate, “I haven’t always been able to eat properly. It’s been…I’m a lot better about it than I used to be, but it’s still difficult sometimes. Like now.”
Your hand feels tensed inside of James’. His heart has begun to ache lowly. James thinks he knows the term for what you’re trying to tell him, but he’s not about to lob it at you now, not if it could only make you feel worse. He tries comforting you the surest way he can think of, smoothing his thumb along the side of your hand.
It at least seems to relax you enough to say more. “You’re not too far off, I guess, because it is sometimes worse when I’m anxious.” You glance up at him tentatively, an attempt at a smile on your lips. “Food’s just a bit more difficult for me right now.”
“I’m sorry I brought it up like that,” says James, earnestness aching in the back of his throat.
You lift a shoulder. “How could you have known? Sorry I haven’t been eating your cooking.”
“That’s not your fault, sweetheart.” Your gaze flees his again. Guilt and shame quiet James’ voice. “I’m sorry, I thought you were only stressed.”
You give a little laugh. “I guess I am stressed.”
“Yeah, and for good reason, but…can I hug you?”
You nod, and James gets out of his chair, bending awkwardly to get his arms around you. Your fingertips press into the muscles of his shoulders.
“It’s not quite so simple as stress, though, is it?” he murmurs into your shirt.
He feels your chest contract with a sigh. “No,” you admit.
“What can I do to help?”
“I don’t think there’s anything you can do, Jamie.”
“Not accuse you of not liking my cooking, though, surely.”
Another little laugh, this one seemingly more genuine. “Yeah, that would help a bit, actually.”
James worries about smothering you, backs up enough to see your face. His hands want to go there, too, one for each cheek.
“Please tell me if you think of anything,” he says. You don’t agree but don’t look away from him either, which James figures is about as good as he’s going to get. “Would it be any easier if we ate in front of the telly?”
You chew your lip. “It might, yeah. I’m not sure.”
“You don’t have to make any promises,” he assures you, taking up your plate and bringing it into the kitchen. “Do you want me to reheat this for you? Or we could have something else?”
You linger at the edge of the kitchen, fingers bundled up in your sleeves. “I’d like to try to finish that, if that’s okay.”
“Of course it’s okay, m’love. More than okay.” James presses some buttons on the microwave, then turns to you, requisitioning you for another hug. He kisses your hair. “Thank you for telling me.”
Your voice is soft. “Thank you for listening.”
He scoffs, squeezing you around the middle so that you squeal. “You make it sound like a chore. Don’t be so ridiculous.” James presses another kiss to your hair before releasing you. “Go find something good for us to watch, sweetheart, I’ll be there in a minute.”
#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter x self insert#james potter fanfiction#james potter fanfic#james potter fic#james potter hurt/comfort#james potter imagine#james potter scenario#james potter drabble#james potter blurb#james potter oneshot#james potter one shot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders era#marauders x reader#tw eating issues#cw eating issues
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"You're burning up" + Aventurine?
"You're burning up."
Aventurine doesn't know what else to say, so he goes with those three words. Safe bet - the doting parents in all the movies and sitcoms say it just like that; with care and worry, palm splayed out across the ill's forehead.
And holy hell are you ill.
Collapsed on his lavish sofa, you groan in response, swatting his hand away. "I'm gonna be just fine..."
He's inclined to disagree. You're sweating buckets despite how he'd mashed the thermostat down to its limit - he even had to shrug on a jacket. Perhaps Aventurine would have poked fun at you for your intolerance, but he has enough decorum to hold his tongue. He really doesn't like seeing you so put out, as much as you're welcome to crash here.
"Your poker face could use some work. Save your words, we can hang out another time," he dismisses easily, bracing himself for your incoming opposition. He reluctantly breaks away from your side to amble over to the coffee table, beginning to clean up the remnants of game night.
"No way," in the corner of his eye, he notices you shifting restlessly, "finals are coming up. Won't have time after this..."
Aventurine sighs, sweeping his very nice clay chips into one hand while using the other to click open their case. This time of year, things become almost unbearably hectic. He has exams coming up in a few weeks himself, and though he never needs to study, he always adheres to your modus operandi of 'cram now, cry later'.
"Well, you're not going back to those dorms in that state."
"You sound like a dickhead," you murmur. "You think I wanna live there? Shitty thin walls... shitty dining hall food..."
He chuckles, snapping the case shut and dusting his hands of nonexistent dust. "You're cruder than usual when you're feverish."
Aventurine almost startles when you gasp. "I have a fever?!"
...and you're loopy, too.
He gets you to sit still with the promise of retrieving a fever reducer and some water. Aventurine roots through his bathroom cabinets, combing through his own extensive collection of self-care and skin products to reach where he keeps his medication.
It takes several minutes of crouching down on the tile for him to realize he doesn't have any. He clicks his tongue - well, it seems his own lifestyle has backfired on him once again. Aventurine doesn't get sick often, doesn't spend a lot of time at home, and has enough stubborn resilience to power through any ailment that might plague him.
But for you? The only reason he spends any time at all in this stupidly expensive penthouse?
Yeah, he'll make a quick trip to the drugstore.
When he walks back into the living room with his shoes on and wallet in his pocket, his heart warms. You've somehow slipped into an upside down position, hair spilling over the edge of the cushions. You somehow make it look comfortable, eyes closed and brow free of any creases.
"Does that help your sinuses?" he asks, really only to test if you're awake.
"You smell good..."
Aventurine ignores how those words make him feel, eyeing the door (and where your shoes are lined up neatly against the wall).
"I have to restock on Tylenol," he swallows. "Will you be okay by yourself?"
"Yes," you respond coherently this time.
Before he departs, he cajoles you into another position in case you throw up like that and end up choking - not without some strangely endearing complaints that you'd normally never voice, positive thing you are.
He doesn't get to the inside mat before you pipe up again, making him stop in his tracks.
"C'mere," you cough. "Please, humor a dying star's last wish..."
He really should be going so he can get your temperature down quicker, but leaving you on the sofa while you're about to cough up a lung strikes him as cruel. Aventurine gives into your dramatics - which happen to perfectly align with his own at times - and makes his way over to you.
"What is it? Did I forget something?" he sits down on the armrest, perching there with perfect balance. When you don't respond immediately, an odd little expression on your face, he rests his chin on his fist, pensive.
You hum.
He doesn't expect much; a request for another pillow, a plea for him to turn on a movie for you while he's out. Instead, he's caught off-guard as you throw an arm around his waist and pull, effectively whisking him off the high ground and right into your grasp.
Aventurine initially tenses but settles as you nuzzle closer. You're the only person in the world that can get away with loving him so easily.
"M'sorry I got sick on game night..." you whisper, uncaring that you're spreading your sickness (and your homely oxytocin).
He finds himself not caring much either.
"Do you believe me to be that hung up on you catching a cold?"
Aventurine's heart rabbits cruelly - he's sure you can hear it, with the way you're snuggled against him and whatnot, but maybe he'll get lucky like he always has, and you'll remain oblivious and perfect and unbothered, despite what you do to him.
You sniffle, words thick with exhaustion. "I dunno. Just stay."
He can't. Not just because he has to go pick up that Tylenol, but because he feels like he might die if you keep saying things like that.
"Five minutes," he acquiesces.
Aventurine waits for your celebration of victory, but no such thing comes. You're fast asleep, clinging to him like he's worth something.
He stays for a lot longer than five minutes, only wriggling out of your arms when he's sure you won't wake up to find him gone. When he returns later with his spoils (which also just so happen to include your favorite drink), you're cradling a pillow in his place.
Before Aventurine is your boyfriend or lover, he is a liar.
He is most definitely, unequivocally, one hundred percent hung up on you.
🏷️: @akutasoda, @aviiarie, @lowkeyren
a/n: modern au because i couldn't possibly resist. just wanted to mention here that u guys absolutely killed it with these quotes. you have my gratitude! also why is he like that. soggy wet cat
event post here
#[200] everybody talks!#—stellaronhvnters.#aventurine x reader#hsr x reader#aventurine hsr x reader#hsr aventurine x reader#honkai star rail x reader#aventurine fluff#honkai: star rail x reader#aventurine x you#aventurine hsr#honkai star rail aventurine x reader#aventurine honkai star rail x reader#anonymous#✧ my writing
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I wanted to make a bonsai kitten recovery post that outlines some of the stuff that I've been doing. Because I don't think that you need to ✨see a therapist✨ to start dealing with a lot of this stuff and I get really frustrated when that is the answer that everyone is constantly giving. Firstly a disclaimer, because I know what website I am on: this is a guide for things that have worked for me! I am not everyone and if there are things on here that do not work for you or even that you think are stupid, that is fine, but please do not make it my problem. If you are reading it and you're like "that sounds like it would actually be detrimental to my specific mental health because of my specific issues" then please disregard it. Use your critical thinking skills and do what you think is right for you!
My second disclaimer is that I didn't make any of this up myself; most of these are collected from various places either in therapeutic guide books or various websites about emotional regulation etc. Some of it is stuff that I have extrapolated from those places based on experience with what works for me or does not work for me. A lot of the way that I treat myself when I need to get my body and brain into a place where I can think about stuff productively is actually directly from gentle parenting guides, because frankly cptsd recovery stuff is very often like parenting a toddler. And the toddler is you. ALL THAT SAID,
The first skill that I had to get good at, that many of the other skills depend on, is to learn how to understand when I am Reacting to something. If I am Reacting it is extremely likely that that's going to only escalate the situation and make it much worse. I HAVE to be able to tell if I am Reacting emotionally to something in a way that is coming from a place of fear and panic. This is important because it involves not being prescriptive about your emotions. You could be Reacting to something that you do not logically feel is at all justified in making you feel that way and that doesn't matter! You can't be doing math equations to try to come to the answer of how you SHOULD be feeling; you have to be observing your mind and body to see how you factually ARE feeling and then respond to THAT. This can be really hard to learn how to do especially if you were abused as a child. (If you cannot think of yourself as someone who is abused as a child perhaps it would help to think of yourself as someone who simply was not taught various emotional regulation skills for mysterious reasons that have nothing to do with your parents' inadequacies.) I need to be able to glance inward and see what the physiological reaction that I'm having is and identify whether or not I feel like this is the biggest emergency in the world that needs to be addressed right now immediately! That is a sure sign that Mr Fight and Mr Flight are in the building and it is bad to make declarative statements or important decisions when that is the case. So, I have to work on dismissing them first. That is literally the first step to any of this. One of my friends calls this "fire mittens," which is to say, if you are wearing mittens that are on fire and you try to touch stuff, the stuff will also become on fire. You have to put the fire out first before you can touch other things.
Once I have determined that I am indeed Reacting and in a physiological state of fear, I have a document in my notes app that is a "what to do when you are in fight or flight mode" guide and it has several helpful things that I will try to outline here.
Firstly, the really important thing for me for trying to get back into an emotional state where I'm capable of making decisions and being thoughtful is to feel safe and comfortable. So I actually have some stuff in my document that is straight up just like "go in the blankie nest. put on this specific music album. light this specific scented candle." etc. You might want to have a specific food or drink that is comforting to you or some other sort of stim toy that helps you regulate. If there's any calming medication or supplements for anxiety that you take as needed, now is also the time to do that. Physical sensory grounding is really important for this. This is probably especially true if, like me, you are neurodivergent, but I think it is also true for everyone because we are animals! And you can't just think about it, you have to actually do it. Which sounds obvious but is the thing that has often tripped me up in the past. Once you start getting into the habit of actually physically doing this it DOES become easier though.
One of my rules is that if I want to respond to something but I am in fight or flight mode, I don't get to respond to it for at least 24 hours. I'm only allowed to respond once I've gotten myself out of fear mode. If it is some kind of comment on Facebook that has set me off, often this means that 24 hours later I realize that I actually don't want to get into it to begin with, which is great. If it's something that is pretty serious and interpersonal with a friend, sometimes that means I have to communicate to them that I'm going to take a while to process it and then get back to them. IMPORTANT: You CANNOT do this passive aggressively or else it undermines the whole thing. You can't phrase it in a way that will make your friends think that you are guilt tripping them for "making" you feel a way. It is VERY tempting to do this when you are in the first stages of trying to form this habit and you simply need to resist the urge because it will render this step worthless. I know. It sucks.
If I am feeling fearful and insecure about friends or loved ones, I also usually try to spend some time thinking about the people that I love and care about. Because often this stuff manifest for me as insecurity that the people that I care about do not care about me, or that they think that I'm being annoying, or that they are secretly thinking mean things about me. It's obviously not good for me to constantly be imagining that the people in my life who I care about are actually avatars of my own insecurity who are here to tell me that I'm secretly fundamentally unlovable! But crucially also it's ALSO not fair to those people to imagine them as that. They are not that guy, they are their own complex human beings with their own lives and experiences and interiority. So sometimes I do thought exercises where I will imagine my friends or loved ones doing things in their everyday lives and I will think about them as people and I will think about the things that they like to do and the things that they say and the places that they go, and I will try to imagine them fondly in those circumstances. This helps to remind me that they are just people and that the scary puppet wearing their faces is not real. To this end I sometimes will have a document of screenshots of things that they have said to me that I can use to reality check myself. I personally find reality checks to be essential for a lot of this. Things can feel true when they are not true at all. Things can feel wrong when they are actually true. The point of most of these exercises is to gently remind myself that those feelings are normal for me to be having, but that I do not need to let them dictate my responses.
It is crucial throughout all of this that you are nice to yourself. You can't talk to yourself in a mean way while you're doing this, or you will not get to a point where you are feeling safe enough to react from a place of not-fear. You can't make yourself feel ashamed or defensive for your emotional reactions. This is the particular area where I find gentle parenting protocols helpful. You HAVE to be patient with yourself.
Ok that's all for now bc I ran out of steam but I will try to think of more to add on another day maybe. Godspeed everyone
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