#but for real the way my heart actually stopped!! I thought they made a mistake and then I saw it for myself and cried 😭😭

[thekendallkathryn]

🚨 WE MADE RADAR LET'S GOOOOO 🚨

i'm gonna smoke you up ❤️‍🔥🔥

(or: I was planning to keep going through txt.... but then the ate concept photos dropped and said WELL THINK AGAIN. and well. they just poked my favorite-things-to-draw weak spots with smoke + lino so what could I have done really)

[carbonfiction]

Dark Desires

older, best friends dad!Logan x reader

summary: a week ago you found yourself drunk texting your best friends dad; something that should've been a mistake, but you were sure in that drunken moment that Logan would know everything you'd kept from him all those years. You'd been thinking about it for longer than you'd care to admit; adding to the fantasy. so what happens when logan finally indulges you..

warnings: Swearing, dirty talk, F!Receiving oral, PIV smut, prone bone and missionary, Somnophilla (technically??), daddy kink, roleplay?? pussy sniffing?? Kind of voyeurism? But the person is very much asleep. Also tagging this for dubcon but it’s more pre established consent/free use and slight CNC vibes depending on how you view it? Tagged this the best i believe i can but ultimately you are responsible for your media consumption.

A/N: i don't know where this came from, other than i had a glass of wine and a naughty thought. i tried real hard on this and its a little darker than i usually write- not to mention longer- but i hope yall enjoy a filth filled piece of my intoxicated brain anyway. Et voilà.

Masterlist Words: little over 4k (oop- longest thing ive ever written.. i got carried away..)

Your heart is hammering away inside of your chest so insistently that it feels like your ribs are bruised and your breasts are trying to punch their way out of your dress.

You're still wearing the stupid thing and Laura is drinking another mimosa. Part of you is grateful for that. Yet while you want her drunk and snoring tonight, part of you can't help trying to stop her.

You make eye contact, give her the look. Tell her to slow down because you two have been down this road before. She gets wild, has fun for half an hour, and then spends the rest of the night dizzy in a bathroom asking deep philosophical questions like why do my eyes hurt? And why do guys suck? And do i still have puke in my hair?

But if she's drunk tonight, just enough to sleep like the dead, then what?

You set your own drink aside to check your phone for what feels like the hundredth time this hour and lift a shaky thumb to your texts.

You've read the thread again and again and again, and still you don't quite believe it. The party swirls around you. A hurricane of sound and the smell of cocktails is sour in your nose. You feel the heat of your friends, your fellow graduates. one day lawyers, doctors, professors, professionals in their field; and yet here you are reading over the texts again.

You feel like a little girl and yet simultaneously the most grown of women because you have a secret, a dirty little secret.

You were nearly as drunk as Laura is now when you sent the first text a week ago. You were celebrating the end of finals and you were curled up in bed after a long night out.

One of your other friends had flirted with the bartender. You'd told the girl to stop and Laura had reached from her stool and pinched your leg. Asking if you'd ever needed something so badly that you actually made a bad decision.

Everyone had laughed, all except you.

You know she was teasing and complimenting in the same breath. You're a good girl and everybody knows it. Reliable, honest and never involved with the wrong kind of guys.. Always a reason to why you were too busy to bother. You were studying, too busy hanging out with Laura. Too busy prepping for school, internships and the next two decades of your life.

You're no angel, although of course, no one was. You've had your share of regrettable hookups and disappointing boyfriends, but nothing that set your world alight. Nothing worth risking anything for.

But maybe what Laura had said thread under your skin more than you'd like to admit. Maybe you were just drunk enough to ignore the obvious risk.. Or was it that you'd been thinking about him for an indecently long amount of time?

So with finals over, diploma practically in hand. There was nothing preventing years of pent up lust from sending a jolt down between your legs, setting a crackling fire in your heart and making you sweat. Dripping down your neck, stomach, that spot on your lower back, they all tingled as you crouched on the corner of your bed and wrote a single text.

You: I need something.

You sent it. Had forced yourself to before you chickened out and immediately regretted it. You thought you'd worded it in such a way that you could play it off, pretend it didn't happen.

But you were sure in that drunken moment that Logan would read those three words and know everything you'd kept from him all those years. Every dirty thought, every horny fantasy, everything.

It was all right there in the text. 2am on a Thursday night and truly it could only mean one thing. You put the phone down, tried to make yourself go to sleep.

Logan was an older man with a life. A job, house and a child- your best friend- and you were sure he wouldn't even see the stupid thing until the morning when you could say you meant to message Laura. Not him, not her father. But then you picked up the phone again, half panicked and ready to change your mind, when you'd saw those little dots.

That meant he was writing something back, at 2am on a Thursday night, either in bed or his limo.

Logan: You need to go to sleep

Of course.. Responsible. That was the responsible thing to do. And you would do just that. But first you'd just write a quick text to apologize. Say it was the wrong number and sleep this off; pretend it didn't happen for the rest of your lives.

But.. what if, for once in your life, it could be easy? What if Logan did know everything? What if.. There was something else? Because that was how this all started, hadn't it?

You'd always felt something more, saw something different in his worn eyes, his gruff demeanor. Heard something he was saying when he really wasn't saying anything at all.

Or.. Was it all in your head? Was this only ever a one way infatuation? A young woman's crush, a dark fantasy that only grew darker with each new kink you discovered in yourself? Losing all confidence, you texted back.

You: sorry. Wrong number.

And that was that- or it should've been that- If it was only ever a one way street. You put the phone down, tried desperately to keep your eyes closed, but the moment you heard the phone buzz again you peek.

Logan: Is that true sweetheart?

Oh no, no. it wasn't true at all. You knew he knew exactly who'd texted and why; what you wanted him to do. You'd been thinking about it for years. Adding to the fantasy. Soaking your sheets in the middle of the night when you couldn't sleep, all that brought a temporary relief. If only for a little while; So, you text back.

You: No

Just that. A simple No.

Logan: You telling a lie?

You: Not exactly

Logan: So you wanted my attention then?

You: Wanted? No Logan.. Need.

And yes, you know need is a very strong word.

Logan: You feel very strongly about that huh? Strong feelings can be dangerous sweetheart.

You: what if i want something dangerous.

You answered back with the most honest thing you could say. And then there was a pause, a very long pause, in which you could see no dots, and even started to wonder if he'd abandoned you. Left you on read.

A thousand images erupted in your mind, different versions of him sitting and staring at your number- your words. Those cheap reading glasses perched on his nose as he wondered if this was some kind of game.

But if it was a game.. Logan was ready to play and after a few minutes your phone dings again.

Logan: you're being a real bad girl tonight, aren't you?

And then it wasn't your best friend's father you were texting. Well, it very much was- that was the crux of it, wasn't it? But now it was also the man. The man on the other side of the phone who was paying close attention.

You: Yes, daddy. very, very bad.

Now, In the darkness of his daughter's room, You imagine colors swirling on her ceiling. Your heart restless like a caged animal and there is a knot in your stomach twisting tighter and tighter by the second.

You don't know how long you've been lying here. 5 minutes or 5 hours. But you know you can't possibly wait another moment... But then you do, because you have to.

You haven't heard from Logan all day and that makes you afraid. Really genuinely afraid that He's forgotten or changed his mind.

Because, well, it's just you and Laura in here, isn't it? You're lying on the floor, a lumpy pillow under your head, and a spare, slightly musty blanket folded under your breasts.

Laura is snoring away in her bed, her limbs tangled with a stuffed animal almost the size of her- one you'd won her from a carnival. It was like old times, she slurred drunkenly. The three of you huddled together in her bed, giggling and watching some crappy reality show.

She'd tried to get you to join her and the animal in the bed, but you'd said no. Insisted that it was too hot tonight. That you'd rather be able to spread out on the floor. Fortunately, by the time you made it up to Laura's room, she was too far gone to argue.

Unfortunately, now though, there's a very drunk girl in her bed beside you, a possible witness to your depravity. And so you lie there, staring at the ceiling and forcing yourself not to text. Not to call. To just ignore the nagging doubt in your gut.

And yet again, you still find yourself opening the text thread. Reading through the things you told him, the things he'd told you. A formed plan and line after line of you promising things. All of the 'Yes, daddy I want this' the 'Please do that to me' The repetitive 'ill be a good girl, Promise' And then, at the very bottom, a safe word. It was when you'd agreed on the safe word that you knew this was for real. Not a fiction in a book or a fantasy playing out in a movie.

The word. Kitty. An inside joke from years ago. The word proof that all the little confidences and conversations held an attraction you were both willing to hide for the sake of decency

But.. you don't want to be decent anymore. You'd confided your fantasy, one that you had dreamt so many nights. Wished for it in the hot, comfortable haven of Laura's bed every time you'd stayed over. The thought of her older, attractively gruff father coming to you in the night and making you submit to his secret lust.

Of him pulling your panties to the side while Laura slept untroubled. Logan ravishing you while you whispered and mewled 'please, daddy, make me your filthy slut'

You've always been his filthy slut, haven't you? Deep In your heart. The thought is turning the wet spot between your legs into a soggen menace. You've been horny before, You've been needy before, but never like this- because you've never tried something like this.

Never wanted something badly enough to ask for it; or even beg for it. This was a dream, a dirty desire, a secret yearning never to be true.

Then you'd drunk texted. You told him and he'd responded, not with shock or disgust, but enthusiasm, cautious enthusiasm. But it was still only text messages. You haven't spoken to him yet, not properly at least. Even when you saw him walk in at the party, or in the limo on the way back to Laura's. You couldn't bring yourself to say a word. Your mouth was so dry, cheeks so hot. Laura had laughed and said you were flushed in the backseat- a lightweight to end all lightweights- when in fact you haven't had a drop to drink tonight.

You're going to throw your phone at the wall, you swear it. But No, that would probably wake her up. Instead, you conclude that you're going to find your pants, and you're going to leave this house and never come back. You love Laura but you can't bear it, can't believe you trusted him with this. You can't lie here and torment yourself about your decisions a minute longer about your need.

Then, your heart leaps into your throat. phone dropping onto your chest with a soft thud. Quickly you brush it off and turn onto your stomach. Your head hitting the pillow, eyes squeezed shut and pulse racing like you've run a marathon.

Through your closed eyelids, you see the glow of the hall light from the open door, only for it to vanish moments later. Either the door has closed or the light's been turned off, but you're not sure which because blood is racing so loudly in your ears. Breath escaping in overwhelming gasps.

Do you hear calculated heavy footsteps or is that your imagination? You struggle to listen for Laura. Is she awake or still sleeping? The tension so tight in your chest that you begin to feel dizzy, almost nauseous. Then comes the creak of the floor at the foot of your makeshift bed, the unmistakable presence of another person in the room, their eyes on you.

You can't stop your body from trembling slightly as the sheet is softly yanked away. Adrenaline courses through your veins, making your body buzz with anticipation.

Your legs are bare the cool air of Laura's bedroom. You're laying on your stomach. Face pushed into the pillow, eyes clenched shut as if you're locked into a deep, drunken sleep- like you should be.

Your legs are splayed out, dark lacey panties riding up the crevice of your ass. One of your ass cheek's indecently exposed... then a rough touch caresses over the swell of that exposed cheek, two big exploring hands, gliding over you.

You hear the grunt of a man, and you know it can only be Logan. He's the only other person home.

Your heart is beating so hard you're afraid you're going to pass out. Laura is on the bed, sleeping mere feet away, and her father is groping you in your supposed sleep.

So the question becomes: are you dreaming now? or are you praying this is as far as he'll go?

when Logan pull's the fabric of your panties to the side, you know he's willing to go much further. He's quiet in the darkness around you, but he's big and the house is old; the floor creaking and groaning as he readjust's his heavy weight.

Your panties are roughly hiked over one cheek of your ass, the sound of ripping lace filling your ears. Logan's hot breath roll's over your ass and the tremble in your limbs becomes a full shiver.

You can feel his scruffy face so close to your body, Feel his nose against the crevice of your ass as he roves lower. Dipping further until his mouth- his nose - is pressed into the folds of your bared cunt.

You hear how he inhales deeply, toes curling in response. Your fingers lay over Laura's spare pillow, the case tight in your grip. He's smelling you, nuzzling against your dampening skin not once, but many times. Lewdly breathing in your scent like a dog that's found something it likes.

His calloused hands spread you open so he can breathe deeper still and when hes as deep into your cunt as his face will allow, his wet tongue slides out to lick at you. You cannot stifle your moan at the feeling, immediately biting your lip to keep from growing any louder.

But with this the culmination of so many fevered late night fantasies, you dont know if you are dreaming.

His wide tongue laps at your swollen clit, swiping open the seam of your pussy and to the point just shy of your tighter hole. You hear logan growl into your wet slit like a monster unleashed from beneath the bed. Feeling how how his licks grow stronger, longer and twice as ravenous as he steadily turn your pussy into a drooling, dripping mess.

He laps at you in the quiet darkness of Laura's room, calculated and experienced as you fight to not to cry out. The pressure of an impending orgasm building so tight in your body that it feels time you woke up.

And so you take a deep breath, a rough gasped sound falling out too. Your fingers claw at the pillow as you flex your lower half.

"Hmm?"You grumble, pretending to bat away the cobwebs of sleep. "Wha-whats happening, What are you doing?" You ask, voice thick with mock confusion.

Within moments you feel Logan's tongue retreat from your pussy, a weight so much heavier than your own crawl over your half naked body. You feel him pressed tight against you, still clothed if the scratchy fabric tells you anything, but an unmistakable bulge is hidden inside. Hard and large against your ass you feel Logan's arm rub against your shoulder. A big hand sliding over your mouth.

"Quiet, sweetheart" he growls in your ear. "Daddy's had enough of your teasing"

Another large hand slides beneath your sleep shirt to cup your tender tits, The nipples diamond hard against Logan's palm. You cant help but moan into his hand as you plead.

"Please. Didn't mean to tease" its a wine, petulant in tone.

"Course you didnt.. Shame S' Too late now" he whispers against your ear, teeth biting into your earlobe. The hand on your breast trails down. Right the way down to his slacks.

"B-but Laura" You warn him in a whispered panic, hearing the sound of a zipper sliding down. you struggle teasingly, hips bucking back against him. Its not enough to cause a scene or enough to wake your sleeping friend- his sleeping daughter- but just enough to make him pin your body down. Enough for you to feel a fraction of his real strength.

Logan's muscles bulge from the effort of caging you against the floor and spreading your legs.

"Nuh uh, Stay still. Stay right where ive got you" he murmurs darkly in your ear, voice a low rumble. the words fire through you like liquid lightning as you bite into his palm, not to fight but to restrain a high pitched moan that you fear could wake the neighbors- not just Laura.

"nothing you can do now sweetheart, just gotta take it" Logan says and you hear the mocking smile in the words, feel the throb of his thick cock as it emerges from the confines of his pants. "Kept telling me you were a good girl, so show me"

With your stomach flat against the ground, legs spread wide beneath him, you can do nothing but tremble as his cock slips between your legs. The cock belonging to your best friend's father sliding deliciously across that little bundle of nerves that sparks a whimper of pleasure.

Your eyes roll back as Logans hips buck, cock brushing your clit again, running up and down your slit torturously slow. "fuuuck, you feel that? How hard you've got my cock?"

You're kicking your legs now, moving your hips. It could be viewed as a struggle but its not, not really, you're just so desperately excited you can't keep still.

"Don't need to fight me baby. Just let daddy in hm? let it happen sweetheart."

And then he's pushing inside your body in one heavy thrust; slow and impossibly deep. The weight of him inside your cunt making you mewl against his palm. All the years of secret yearning, wet fantasies and subtle flirtations have all led to this moment.

It doesn't take many thrusts before your tongue is rolling out of your mouth, licking wetly against his palm like a grateful dog- a bitch in heat. You try to use it to muffle the moan that follows, a pitiful sound mixed with pleasure, like you're ashamed to be in the situation.

Used and humiliated around logans cock.

Its push followed by retreat, a half thrust and then withdrawal over and over. "So fucking tight" Logan growls as you wiggle your ass, not certain if your trying to squirm further in to his grip or out.

He's stretching your walls apart, the burn of his size delicious with each heavy he offers. Each bringing a pulsing throb on your clit. "Yeaaaa, that's it, take it like a good girl.." he groans. "S' what you wanted isn't it."

Logans right, this is exactly what you wanted and more. His body trembles atop yours from the exertion, balls squeezed against your ass, his hand on and off clenching around your breast. His thrusts picking up in pace as you struggle and squirm to keep quiet even under his palm

"L-logan" you whimper as he pushes particularly deep, pussy squelching lewdly from your arousal, his hand barley muffling the word. He knows your close before you do, can feel your cunt clenching desperately.

"Getting fucked so good your gonna cum sweetheart?" he rasps in your ear, panting into it. "C'mon, tell daddy how good his cock feels."

"S-so good.. F-fuck yes daddy, please"

You whine and It is a struggle to pry his strong hand off your mouth to get the words out.

"Go on sweetheart. Cum, coat my fuckin cock. Show me this cute little pussy is mine"

and then his big hand clamps back over your lips as he begins to fuck you into the floor. Your orgasm crashes over you in burning waves. Every stroke becoming an ecstatic agony, overstimulation starting to buzz over your bones. Its a constant struggle to hold your moans and neither of you can move properly for the risk of waking Laura .

But Logans hips remain unrelenting, Fucking you prone on your friends floor. His balls swinging, swatting unbearably at your clit with every entry. The heat of him and being trapped against the floor is almost unbearable, but so is having to keep your whimpers quiet. sweat beads hot on your brow

you can hear his own desperate attempts at staying quiet. Broken only by muffled groans, grunts of exertion, and primal chesty growls as your cunt clenches wetly around him.

Yet the discomfort of overstimulation is no match for the absolute bliss of your submission. Your toes curling so hard you're on the verge of a cramp.

The friction between your clit, Logan's cock and the floor builds to an intolerable pressure. Something must give way. The temptation to lose all control and scream his name too great. Now that possibility of you blacking out is too dangerous to ignore. So you say it the word.

"Kitty!"

Not because you want to, but because in this moment you have to. Almost as soon as the word leaves your lips and sinks into the pillow, wet from saliva and tears, you feel his body shudder. muscles seizing while a heavy groan sounding out into the skin of your neck.

"you okay?" he pants softly worry creasing his brow. "Was it too much?"

Your wordless and it worries him. Making him pull back, cock slipping free with a hushed hiss as he helps you shift onto your back, so he can look at you properly.

Your hands rise, fingers caressing his scruffy cheeks. "M'okay" you pant, eyes on him. "wasn't too much. Promise."

No, in fact, It was just right- before it all overwhelmed you that is. Now? now you just want to hold him, make love to him. Hold onto something- someone that isn't really yours. Eye to eye, your mouth slides back over his, legs spread back open, ready to welcome his length back inside. Without a word you buck your hips down, beckoning him to fuck you again.

Things are much quieter this time. Pace slowed to deep grinds rather than shallow thrusts, pleasure once again coiling in your gut as you lean up to watch his cock disappear inside.

"Feel so good sweetheart, my good girl" he coos, lips against yours as his hand slips back to cup your breast. "My good girl with a fuckin perfect body"

You keep your eyes on logan, blissful smile across your face, and for this moment he's not your best friends father. Not with the way he's gazing down at you with a mixture of lust and long held affection. "always wanted you" he whispers, hand moving back from your breast to cup your cheek. "But I would have kept that secret forever.."

You squeeze him to your chest, heart stuttering at the admission as you lock your arms behind his neck, legs tight around logans waist. You whimper back his name, a plea on your tongue.

"Want you to cum logan.. Please, need to feel it"

You want it more than anything, to feel his cum pushed inside you; for it to drip out later as a downright filthy reminder. You kiss his neck, then cheek, and finally his lips. You want Logan to claim you right here on the floor, right under her nose and you know it makes you a bad friend. Your eyes roll back, hands clawing down his chest as you feel yourself giving up all thought to the rush that flows down the center of your body. The one that begins and ends in the wet, sticky place between your legs, Where the sensitive bud of your clit pulses like a dying star.

it's then he growls much too loud, and you respond back in a whimper, lips pressing tight as you cum together in panted kisses. Him pumping hot heady ropes of cum inside your cunt without reservation or regret as you clench in a vice grip around him.

Tomorrow you will be sore, you know it for a fact. But Tonight.. Tonight You can revel in a fantasy made flesh, your flesh and Logans wrapped around each tight. You drag weak fingers down through his damp hair, then his back, feeling the way his shirt is soaked through with sweat.

Logans panting has subsided by now, breaths no longer crackling besides your ear. He plants mouthy kisses at the juncture of your neck, ever so gently, like a sated wolf nuzzling at the muzzle of his mate. You giggle quietly as those kisses grow fiercer, teeth nipping at your neck.

"my good, great, naughty girl" he murmurs against your skin, voice soft. "you feeling okay sweetheart? sure it wasn't too much?"

You nod and he can feel the enthusiasm seep from the move as you grasp his face again. "Mhm, better than okay. Was perfect" you hum sleeplily, content in his hold, in the scent of him. Your eyes flutter, lashes tickling his cheeks as you kiss him long and deep, until the rub of his beard hurts your face and sleep begins to take you under.

You both know tonight was the culmination of so many fevered dreams. The breaking point of lust and its power that can't be fully expressed in words. So he holds you close- just as you do him in your rest- for a little while longer, until light begins to filter soft through the curtains and the reality of what you'd both done really begins to set in.

thats it!! lemme know what you thought anddddd yea! asks are always open to shoot the shit, drabbles and more! <333

[reidmarieprentiss]

Textual Tension

Summary: You accidentally send a very suggestive text to your awkward coworker, and he replies...

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: smut (18+), fluff

Warnings/Includes: smut (18+) additional warnings under the cut, awkward tension

Word count: 6.1k

a/n: has anyone ever sent a sext to the wrong person?? i've only ever sent them to my friends on accident and for that i am so thankful

main masterlist

Additional warnings: oral (fem receiving), mild breast play, soft dom spencer

You sit on your bed, the soft glow of your phone illuminating your face as you type out a rather suggestive message to the person you've been casually hooking up with. A smirk tugs at your lips as you hit send, confident that the message will hit its mark. 

I've been thinking about you… Can't stop imagining what I'd do if you were here right now. I want to feel your hands all over me, the way you’d make me moan… Let’s make fantasy a reality?

But within seconds, your heart stops as you realize the terrible mistake you've just made.

You’ve sent the message to Spencer.

Spencer.

Your coworker. The brilliant, kind, and awkwardly charming genius who you’ve always had a friendly, professional relationship with. And, of course, the one who has been harboring a massive, secret crush on you. A fact that, unbeknownst to you, has led to countless daydreams and wishes that you might feel the same.

The blood drains from your face as you stare at your phone, horrified, praying that somehow the message didn’t actually go through, or maybe, just maybe, Spencer won’t read it and will simply delete it. But you know better—Spencer is meticulous about everything. Of course, he’ll read it. You’re absolutely mortified, every worst-case scenario flashing through your mind.

Meanwhile, in his apartment, Spencer is settling down with a cup of tea, ready to dive into the book he’s been reading. When his phone buzzes, he picks it up absentmindedly, assuming it’s just a work-related message or something mundane. But as he reads the words on the screen, his eyes widen in shock, his breath catching in his throat.

His thoughts run wild, heart pounding as he rereads the text, each time wondering if it could possibly be real. Could you, the person he’s admired from afar for so long, actually want him in the way he’s secretly yearned for? The idea is intoxicating, and before he can second-guess himself, he responds with a message that matches your energy, his pulse quickening at the boldness of it.

Wow… I didn’t know you were into me like that. I’ve been thinking about you too. If you want, we can definitely make that happen.

The moment you see his reply, your stomach drops. You can't believe this is happening. You’re completely mortified, your mind spinning with the implications. How could you ever face him again? You don’t respond, the fear and embarrassment paralyzing you, leaving you in a state of panic.

The next day at work, you’re a bundle of nerves. Every step you take towards the bullpen feels like you’re walking to your own doom. When you finally arrive, you try to act normal, but the tension is palpable. You can’t even bring yourself to make eye contact with Spencer, every interaction feeling like it’s laced with the humiliation of last night’s mistake.

Spencer, on the other hand, is caught in a whirlwind of emotions. At first, he’s elated, thinking that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance you were into him. But as the day drags on and you remain distant, the excitement turns to confusion, then a sharp sting of rejection. Did he misread the situation? Was it all just a mistake? He’s left feeling awkward and exposed, unsure of where he stands with you now.

—

The tension between you and Spencer had become a nearly tangible thing, a thread pulled taut between the two of you, ready to snap at any moment. At first, your glances in his direction were purely out of necessity—quick, fleeting looks to gauge his mood, to see if he was as affected by this as you were. But as the days passed, those glances became more frequent, more lingering.

It started innocently enough. You’d look over and notice how effortlessly his hair seemed to fall into place, the soft waves framing his face in a way that made him look almost ethereal. You’d never paid much attention before, but now you couldn’t help but admire how it suited him, how it added to his charm.

Then, it was his forearms. You’d catch him pushing up the sleeves of his button-down shirt, revealing the sinewy strength beneath the fabric. There was something about the casual way he did it, the way the muscles in his arms flexed ever so slightly as he worked, that made your heart skip a beat. It was such a simple thing, but it had a profound effect on you, stirring something deep within.

And then there was the way he licked his lips when he was focused, his eyes narrowing slightly as he concentrated on whatever task was in front of him. You couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to have his attention focused solely on you, to feel the intensity of that gaze as he looked at you, not with confusion or uncertainty, but with desire.

The more you noticed these little things, the more conflicted you became. This was Spencer—sweet, brilliant, and awkward Spencer. The idea of seeing him in a different light had never really crossed your mind before, but now… now it was all you could think about. The memory of his bold response to your accidental text played on a loop in your mind, taunting you with the possibilities.

What if you responded? What if you stopped overthinking everything and just… saw where it could go? The idea terrified you, but it also excited you in a way you hadn’t expected. There was something thrilling about the thought of exploring this new dynamic, of seeing if there was something more between you and Spencer than just a shared workspace.

You found yourself daydreaming about it, wondering how he would react if you sent him a message, if you matched the energy of his reply. Would he be as nervous as you were, or would he surprise you with a confidence you hadn’t seen before? The thought of it made your pulse quicken, a flush of warmth spreading through you.

But with the excitement came doubt. What if this was a mistake? What if you were reading too much into things, and responding to his text would only make the situation worse? The fear of making things awkward again, of possibly ruining your work life further, held you back. Yet, the thought of doing nothing felt like a missed opportunity, like you were letting something potentially amazing slip through your fingers.

As the day dragged on, you found it harder and harder to focus on your work. Every time you saw Spencer, every time you noticed another little detail about him that you hadn’t before, the urge to reach out grew stronger. It was like there was a tug-of-war going on inside you, with one side urging you to take the risk and see what could happen, and the other holding you back out of fear.

Finally, as the workday was winding down, you made a decision. Maybe you were overthinking this—maybe it was time to just go for it and see what came of it. After all, Spencer had responded positively, hadn’t he? There was a chance, a real chance, that he felt something for you too, something more than just a workplace friendship.

Sitting on your couch with your heart pounding in your chest, you pulled out your phone, your fingers hovering over the keyboard as you debated what to say. You didn’t want to be too forward, but you also didn’t want to be vague. After a few moments of contemplation, you typed out a message, your hands trembling slightly as you reread it.

Hey, about that text… Maybe we should talk. Or… you know, not just talk. If you’re still interested.

You hit send before you could second-guess yourself, your heart racing as you watched the message deliver. There was no going back now.

The rest of the evening was a blur of anxiety and anticipation. You couldn’t stop thinking about what his response might be, what it could mean for the two of you. When your phone finally buzzed with a new message, you hesitated for just a moment before opening it.

I’m definitely interested. Let’s talk… or not just talk, whenever you’re ready.

The words were simple, but they held so much promise. You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face as you read them, a mixture of relief and excitement flooding your senses. This was happening. You and Spencer were about to cross a line, to explore something new and thrilling.

Just as you were contemplating what to say, how to navigate this sudden and unexpected turn in your relationship, another notification lit up your screen.

Come over? Now?

The message was short, simple, and completely electrifying. It sent a jolt through your system, leaving you momentarily speechless. The implications of it were clear—Spencer wasn’t just thinking about this; he was ready to act on it, to turn this accidental confession into something real and immediate.

Your mind raced as you considered what to do next. Just minutes ago, you were agonizing over whether or not to even respond, and now he was inviting you over, as if the decision had already been made. The sheer boldness of his message left you breathless, your heart pounding with a mix of nerves and excitement.

You couldn't help but imagine what it would be like—showing up at his place, the air thick with the unspoken tension that had been building between you all day. The thought of being alone with him, of crossing that line from coworkers to something more, sent a thrill through you.

You took a deep breath, your fingers hovering over the keyboard. This was a pivotal moment, and whatever you decided now would set the course for what happened next.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of internal debate, you typed out a response, your heart racing as you hit send.

I'll be there in 20 minutes.

—

You parked outside Spencer’s apartment building, your heart racing as you took a deep breath to steady yourself. The 20-minute drive had been filled with a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions—excitement, anticipation, and a lingering thread of uncertainty. You weren’t entirely sure what to expect when you arrived, especially considering how different Spencer had seemed over text compared to how he usually was in person. The Spencer you knew was shy, adorably awkward, and hesitant when it came to personal matters. But his texts had shown a side of him that was bold, confident, and unafraid to take charge.

As you approached his door, your nerves started to get the better of you, but there was no turning back now. You lifted your hand to knock, hesitating for just a moment before finally letting your knuckles rap against the wood. The seconds that followed felt like an eternity, your mind racing with possibilities of how this night could unfold.

When the door finally opened, you were taken aback by the sight that greeted you. Spencer stood there, shirtless, the soft glow of his apartment’s light highlighting the lean lines of his torso. He wore nothing but a pair of low-hanging gray sweatpants, the waistband slung low on his hips, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of the defined muscles and trail of hair beneath. His hair was slightly tousled, as if he’d run his hands through it moments before opening the door, and his eyes, usually filled with a mix of curiosity and gentle kindness, now held a smoldering intensity that you had never seen before.

For a moment, you couldn’t find the words, your breath catching in your throat as you took in the sight of him. This wasn’t the Spencer you were used to—this was the man who had responded to your accidental text with a confidence that had both surprised and intrigued you. The awkward, hesitant Spencer you knew seemed to have taken a backseat, making way for someone who knew exactly what he wanted.

And what he wanted, it seemed, was you.

He leaned casually against the doorframe, a small, knowing smile playing on his lips as he watched your reaction. There was a heat in his gaze, a silent challenge that dared you to step inside, to see just how far this newfound confidence could take him.

“Hey,” he greeted, his voice low and smooth, sending a shiver down your spine. “I’m glad you came.”

You swallowed hard, trying to gather your thoughts, but the sight of him standing there like that—so effortlessly confident, so unapologetically enticing—made it difficult to think of anything but the rush of desire that was quickly building within you.

“Hey,” you managed to reply, your voice a little breathless. “You… uh, look different.”

Spencer’s smile widened slightly, his eyes never leaving yours as he stepped aside to let you in. “Well I should hope so,” he said, his tone teasing, but with an underlying seriousness that sent your heart racing even faster.

You stepped inside, feeling the warmth of his apartment wrap around you as the door clicked shut behind you. The atmosphere between you was charged, electric, every moment filled with unspoken possibilities. Spencer moved closer, his presence almost overwhelming in its intensity. The scent of him—a mix of something clean and masculine—filled your senses, making you even more acutely aware of the heat radiating from his skin.

“I’ve been thinking,” Spencer began, his voice soft yet steady, as he reached out to gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “About what was said...”

Your breath hitched at the light touch, your skin tingling where his fingers had just been. You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, afraid that your voice might betray just how much his presence was affecting you.

“I don’t want this to be awkward,” he continued, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation. “But I also don’t want to pretend that nothing’s changed… because it has.”

He was right—everything had changed. The air between you was thick with tension, with the unspoken acknowledgment of what you both wanted but were too nervous to voice. And yet, here he was, standing so close, shirtless and confident, laying it all out in front of you.

Taking a deep breath, you finally found your voice. “So… what happens next?”

Spencer’s lips quirked up into a small, almost mischievous smile. “I think that depends on what you want.”

His words hung in the air between you, a challenge and an invitation all at once. You could feel the pull, the magnetic attraction drawing you closer to him, and in that moment, you knew there was no turning back.

With a boldness you hadn’t known you possessed, you stepped even closer, your body nearly brushing against his as you tilted your head up to meet his gaze. “I want to find out what happens when we stop pretending.”

The last remnants of hesitation melted away as Spencer’s smile turned into something more—something hungry and determined. His hands slid around your waist, pulling you flush against him as his lips descended on yours in a kiss that was anything but hesitant. It was fierce, consuming, a release of all the tension that had been building between you.

As his hands roamed your back, pulling you closer still, you couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, you had only begun to scratch the surface of the side of Spencer Reid you were about to discover tonight.

The world around you blurred as Spencer’s lips moved against yours, his kiss deepening with every passing second. Time seemed to lose all meaning as you lost yourself in the warmth of his touch, the taste of his lips, and the way his hands gripped your waist with a possessiveness that sent a shiver down your spine. It felt like you had been kissing for an eternity, and yet when he finally pulled back, you found yourself gasping for breath, your mind spinning, and your body aching for more.

Spencer’s eyes locked onto yours, dark and intense, filled with a heat that made your pulse quicken. Without saying a word, he took your hand, his grip firm yet gentle, leading you down the hall towards his bedroom. The anticipation thrummed in your veins, every step heightening the tension between you. But just as you reached the doorway, Spencer suddenly stopped, turning to press you against the doorframe. His lips found the sensitive skin of your neck, trailing kisses that made your knees weaken and your breath hitch.

You barely had time to process the sensation before he pulled back again, a playful gleam in his eyes as he gently but firmly guided you into the bedroom. With a swift motion, he pushed you onto the bed, and you bounced slightly, a surprised giggle escaping your lips. The unexpected shift in his demeanor—this newfound confidence, this playful dominance—left you both intrigued and a little off-balance. You’d known Spencer as the quiet, reserved, and somewhat shy genius, but this side of him was something entirely different, and you couldn’t help but be captivated by it.

As you lay there, still trying to wrap your head around this change, you found yourself blurting out a question that had been lingering in the back of your mind. “Do you do this a lot, Reid?”

Spencer chuckled, the sound low and deep, sending a ripple of warmth through your body. He shook his head with a smile that was equal parts reassuring and teasing. “No, not ever really,” he admitted, his voice soft but steady, as he reached for your ankles and pulled you closer to the edge of the bed, positioning himself between your legs. His hands rested on your thighs, the warmth of his touch seeping through your clothes, grounding you in the moment.

“Call me Spencer,” he added, his voice dropping to a near-whisper, his gaze locking onto yours with a mixture of vulnerability and determination. There was something intimate about the way he said it, as if this wasn’t just about physical attraction, but about letting you see a side of him that no one else had. 

Your heart skipped a beat at the request, the simple act of calling him by his first name in this context making the moment feel even more personal, more real. 

“Spencer,” you repeated, the name slipping from your lips like a secret, a promise. His smile widened, a spark of something almost wicked flashing in his eyes, and you realized that you were about to discover a side of him that you’d never imagined existed.

Spencer leaned in, his hands sliding up your thighs, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, “I’ve been wanting this for a long time, you know. I just never thought…” He trailed off, as if realizing that words weren’t enough to express what he was feeling. Instead, he captured your lips with his again, his kiss searing and insistent, as though he were making up for lost time.

Spencer's hands, warm and steady, slowly trailed up your sides, his fingers grazing the soft fabric of your t-shirt as they moved. When he reached the hem, he hesitated, his touch gentle but deliberate as he curled his fingers around the edge. He looked up at you, his expression a mix of desire and tenderness, but there was something else too—a careful consideration, a need to ensure that you were just as willing as he was.

“Can I take this off?” he asked, his voice a low rumble that sent a shiver down your spine. The intensity of his gaze held you captive, his eyes searching yours for the reassurance he needed.

For a moment, you were too caught up in the heat of the moment to respond, your heart pounding in your chest. The way he looked at you, with such raw want and yet so much care, made it hard to think clearly. You nodded quickly, your eyes wide with anticipation, but Spencer didn’t move.

His grip on your shirt tightened slightly as he leaned in, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, “I’m going to need you to use your words, sweetheart.”

The way he said it—his voice rough, almost gritted out with barely restrained desire—made your head spin, the sheer force of his need for you sending your pulse into overdrive. There was a command in his tone, but also a gentle reminder that this was your choice, that he needed to hear you say it.

You swallowed hard, your voice catching in your throat as you tried to find the words. The air around you felt thick with tension, every second stretching out as you stared up at him, the look in his eyes making it impossible to deny him—or yourself.

“Ye—yes, please,” you finally managed to say, your voice a little breathless, but full of the same want that you saw reflected in his eyes.

Spencer’s eyes darkened with satisfaction at your response, a small, almost predatory smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he began to lift your shirt. The fabric slid up your torso slowly, the cool air of the room hitting your skin as he revealed more of you. He took his time, savoring the moment, his eyes never leaving yours as he pulled the shirt over your head and tossed it aside.

For a brief moment, you felt exposed, vulnerable under the weight of his gaze. But the way Spencer looked at you, with a mixture of awe and hunger, made all your insecurities melt away. His hands roamed over the newly exposed skin, his touch both soothing and electrifying, leaving a trail of warmth in its wake.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his voice thick with sincerity and desire, as he leaned in to press a kiss to your collarbone, his lips lingering against your skin.

You had forgone a bra that night, thinking nothing of it when you slipped into your comfy clothes after a long day at work. After all, you hadn’t planned on anything like this happening. But now, with Spencer’s hands on you, his eyes filled with something that looked a lot like awe, you found that you didn’t care in the slightest. If anything, it added to the intimacy of the moment, the rawness of it, making you feel closer to him than you ever thought possible.

His touch was slow, deliberate, almost as if he was savoring every moment, every reaction he elicited from you. His fingers brushed over your skin, exploring you with curiosity and desire, as if he was trying to learn every detail, every response, to what he was doing. When his hands cupped your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your nipples, you couldn’t suppress the soft gasp that escaped your lips, your body arching towards him instinctively, craving more of his touch.

“Spencer…” you breathed, your voice barely more than a whisper, but filled with so much emotion that it felt like a confession. There was something in his name, in the way it rolled off your tongue, that made the moment feel even more intimate, more real. It wasn’t just a name anymore—it was a declaration, an acknowledgment of what was happening between you, of the connection that was quickly forming.

Spencer’s eyes flicked back up to yours, the intensity of his gaze making your heart race even faster. There was something almost primal in the way he looked at you now, a hunger that was barely restrained, but also a tenderness that made your chest tighten with emotion. He leaned in, his lips hovering just above yours, his breath warm against your skin as he whispered, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this… how long I’ve wanted you.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine, your body reacting to the sheer weight of them. It wasn’t just lust in his voice—it was something deeper, something that made you feel cherished, desired in a way that you hadn’t felt in a long time. The realization that Spencer had been holding back, that he had wanted you for so long, made your heart swell with emotion, your need for him growing even stronger.

He kissed you again, his lips capturing yours in a way that was both gentle and demanding, his hands continuing their exploration of your body. Each touch, each caress, was filled with passion and care, as if he was trying to show you just how much you meant to him without needing to say the words. And with every kiss, every brush of his fingertips, you found yourself falling deeper into the moment, your own desire for him becoming overwhelming.

You reached up, your hands finding purchase on his shoulders, pulling him closer, needing to feel the heat of his body against yours. The way he responded, the way his hands gripped you tighter, as if afraid to let go, made it clear that he was just as lost in the moment as you were. There was no more hesitation, no more awkwardness—just the two of you, finally giving in to the feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface for so long.

Spencer’s hands were warm against your skin as he gently laid you back on the bed, his eyes never leaving yours as he hovered above you. The intensity in his gaze was almost overwhelming, his pupils blown wide with desire, but there was something else there too—curiosity, maybe even a hint of vulnerability. His fingers trailed down your sides, the touch sending shivers through your body as he slowly leaned in, his lips brushing against the soft skin of your chest.

“Tell me, Y/N…” His voice was a low murmur, filled with an edge of something deeper, as he kissed his way down your chest, taking his time, savoring the feel of your skin beneath his lips. “Did you think about me too?”

The question hung in the air, making your breath hitch as you squirmed beneath him, the sensation of his kisses igniting a fire deep within you. Your mind was spinning, every nerve in your body on high alert as you felt his breath ghost over your skin, his lips moving lower, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake.

“I did,” you admitted, your voice a little breathless as the confession slipped out. It was the truth, after all—you had thought about him, more than you ever wanted to admit. The idea of Spencer, sweet, awkward Spencer, being the one to push you to this point had always been a secret fantasy, buried deep within you. But now, with him here, in this moment, it was no longer just a fantasy—it was real.

Spencer’s lips curved into a smirk against your skin as he reached your hip, his teeth nipping playfully at the delicate flesh, making you gasp. The sensation was a mix of pleasure and surprise, and you couldn’t help but arch your back slightly in response. His hands moved to your shorts, his fingers hooking into the waistband as he tugged them down slowly, teasingly, his eyes flicking up to meet yours as he did.

“That text wasn’t for me though, was it?” he asked, his voice laced with amusement as he watched your reaction. The smirk on his face was something you’d never seen before—confident, almost cocky, as if he knew exactly the effect he was having on you.

You froze for a moment, your heart skipping a beat as the realization hit you. You hadn’t expected him to catch on to that detail, but of course he had—Spencer was nothing if not observant. The thought that he knew the text wasn’t meant for him, but was still here, still wanting you, made your pulse quicken even more.

“Uh, no, it wasn’t,” you admitted with a whine, the words slipping out before you could stop them. There was no point in lying—not when he was looking at you like that, his gaze full of heat and understanding. “But I’m glad I sent it to you,” you added quickly, your voice filled with sincerity and a hint of desperation.

Spencer’s smirk softened into a small, almost tender smile as he leaned in, his lips brushing against your navel. “Maybe your subconscious wanted you to,” he suggested, his voice low and smooth, each word making your head spin. The idea made you dizzy, the thought that some part of you had always wanted this, had always wanted him, even if you hadn’t fully realized it until now.

“Uh huh,” you breathed out, your voice floaty and airy, your mind clouded with desire. The sensation of his lips on your skin, his hands on your body, was intoxicating, making it hard to think clearly. All you could focus on was the way he made you feel—alive, wanted, and completely lost in the moment.

Spencer’s fingers continued to work on removing your shorts, sliding them down your legs with deliberate slowness, his eyes never leaving yours. There was something almost worshipful in the way he touched you, as if he was savoring every second, every inch of skin he revealed.

As he finally discarded your shorts, leaving you completely exposed to him, he took a moment to just look at you, his gaze filled with a mix of desire and admiration. “You’re perfect,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion as he leaned in to press a kiss to the inside of your thigh, his lips lingering there for a moment longer than necessary.

The words made your heart swell, a wave of warmth washing over you as you reached out, your fingers tangling in his hair. There was nothing left to hide now, nothing left to hold back. This was exactly where you wanted to be—where you were meant to be.

“Do you always skip out on bras and panties, Y/N?” Spencer’s teasing comment sent a ripple of laughter through you, the sound mingling with the rapid beat of your heart. The playful banter between you only intensified the electric connection that was already sparking between you both. His bite on your inner thigh was both a tease and a promise, igniting a fire that made every nerve in your body come alive.

“N–no, only at home,” you managed to scream out, the sensation sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. The combination of his touch and the vulnerability of the moment made it impossible to hold back any longer.

He chuckled, the sound deep and resonant, echoing softly in the room as his fingers continued to explore your skin. “But you didn’t put any on before coming over?” His tone was light, yet there was an undeniable edge of desire that underpinned his words.

You took a moment to catch your breath, the playful challenge in his eyes urging you to respond. “Are you–are you complaining?” you asked, your voice wavering between breathless laughter and the growing urgency of your emotions.

Spencer shook his head, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Not at all, although–” His sentence was cut short as your hands found their way into his hair, pulling him fully into you. The sudden, decisive movement left no room for hesitation, and the world seemed to narrow down to just the two of you, entwined in each other’s embrace.

“Oh my god, Spencer, just shut up,” you laughed, the sound filled with a mixture of amusement and desire. “Put your mouth to use.”

His response was immediate, his lips finding your core with a fervor that matched the intensity of your own longing. The way he ate you out was everything you had been waiting for—passionate, deep, and downright filthy. His hands left their place on your thighs, tracing the contours of your body with a reverence that made you feel both cherished and desired.

As he sunk his mouth deeper, sucking your clit into his mouth, Spencer guided you gently but firmly onto the bed, the softness of the sheets a stark contrast to the heat that radiated between you.

“Spencer,” you moaned, the name slipping out like a sacred vow, sealing the moment between you. His response was a dirty smile, his mouth shining with your juices, making your pulse throb.

He paused for a moment, just enough to look into your eyes, “You’re fucking delicious,” he murmured, his voice thick with lust. “I’ve wanted to taste you for so long.”

As Spencer’s mouth continued to work its magic on your core, a whirlwind of sensations overwhelmed you. Each touch, each stroke of his tongue, sent waves of pleasure radiating through your body, making it nearly impossible to focus on anything but the intense feeling of being completely consumed by him. The way he moved, so skilled yet so attentive to your every reaction, left you breathless, your hands clutching at the sheets as your head swam in a sea of ecstasy.

But amidst the pleasure, a fleeting thought crossed your mind—how close you had come to letting this moment, this incredible opportunity, slip through your fingers. You couldn’t believe that you had almost dismissed the idea of responding to his bold text, that you had almost let fear and hesitation keep you from experiencing this side of Spencer. A side that was confident, passionate, and utterly devoted to your pleasure.

How could you have been so close to missing out on this? On him? Spencer, who had always been there, quiet and thoughtful, had somehow managed to unlock a part of you that you hadn’t even known existed—a part that craved the connection and intimacy he was now offering with every caress of his lips.

You let out a soft moan, your hips arching towards him as the pleasure built to an almost unbearable level. The sounds you made only seemed to spur him on, his grip on your thighs tightening as he pulled you closer, his tongue working with a precision that left you teetering on the edge. Every nerve in your body was alive, the world narrowing down to the feel of his mouth on you, the heat of his breath against your skin.

“Spencer,” you gasped out, your voice trembling with the intensity of your emotions. It wasn’t just the pleasure he was giving you—it was the realization that this was Spencer, the man you had known for so long, who was now showing you a depth of care and passion that you had never imagined.

The way he responded to your every movement, the way he seemed to know exactly what you needed, made you feel cherished in a way that went far beyond the physical. It was as if he was attuned to your very soul, using his touch to communicate something deeper, something that had been building between you for far longer than either of you had realized.

As you felt the tension within you coil tighter and tighter, ready to snap, you couldn’t help but marvel at how easily you had fallen into this moment with him. All the hesitation, the uncertainty, had melted away, leaving only the pure, unfiltered connection between you and Spencer. A connection that had been there all along, waiting for the right moment to be brought to life.

And now that it had, you knew you could never go back to the way things were. Spencer had opened a door to something new, something beautiful, and you were ready to step through it with him, no matter what the future held.

With a final, skillful flick of his tongue over your clit, Spencer sent you tumbling over the edge, your body trembling with the force of your release. The world around you seemed to dissolve into a haze of pleasure and warmth, your mind barely able to process the overwhelming sensations that flooded through you.

As you came down from the high, Spencer’s hands and mouth softened, his touch becoming gentle, almost reverent, as he coaxed you through the aftershocks. When he finally pulled back, he looked up at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of pride and tenderness that made your heart skip a beat.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he murmured, his voice soft but filled with a sincerity that left no doubt about how much this moment meant to him. He crawled up the bed to join you, his body pressing against yours as he captured your lips in a slow, languid kiss, allowing you to taste the remnants of your own pleasure on his lips.

You smiled against his lips, a sense of contentment and excitement washing over you as you whispered, “I’m glad I’m here too, Spencer. So glad.”

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[not-neverland06]

Hey! Love your writing and love Flux!! I was hoping to request a kind of angsty/fluffy fic with the worst!wolverine where the meet her in the void and maybe Logan knew her just not very well and he’s finally letting himself open up and be close with her (likewise with reader/flux towards logan) and they get into an argument or maybe logan has a nightmare and he ends up stabbing her with his claws and maybe the aftermath of him beating himself up and sabotaging the new relationship until reader finally snaps him out of it and says it was an accident and she still loves him?? Thanks!!

mistake

Logan Howlett x fem!reader

a/n: I want to thank you for this request because I've been having the worst writer's block in the world. I was worried about having to go into another unofficial hiatus, but this made something in my brain click together and I knocked it out in two hours. my life is yours 🙏🙏 Summary: You know him. Or, you knew him. And you never blamed him for what happened in your world. It wasn't his fault that everyone you loved died and you barely escaped with your life. But you never actually thought you'd have to see him again. You don't know what to do when all these feelings resurface with his appearance.

No one truly knew who you were back in your universe. After the horrific incident at the mansion, you had run. You’d run as fast and as far as you could from the slaughter of your friends. You’d barely escaped with your life, and from the amount of blood and gore they’d left behind, most people just assumed you were dead. 

It’s not like anyone cared about you. Scott, Ororo, and Jean had been the real heroes. But it didn’t matter because they were still mutants at the end of the day. It didn’t matter how many people they saved. How many lives they positively changed, no one would ever see past the fact that they were mutants. 

Being one of the newer members of the recently disbanded X-Men gave you enough anonymity to get through daily life without being recognized. It did not, however, protect you from being sucked into the shit fest that is the multiverse. 

You’re not sure what it is about you that just attracts bad luck. You don’t know if it’s some hidden power that’s a part of your evolution. You’re just apparently perpetually fucked. The TVA had determined that you were interfering with the proper flow of your timeline or some bullshit. 

Now you’re here. Stuck in the void with nothing but decay and drunk former superheroes. If you have to watch one more Captain America ‘rally the troops’ you’re gonna kill him yourself. You’ve considered switching teams and joining Cassandra Nova at times. If only so you don’t have to deal with Johnny Storm and the rest of the dipshits. 

You get along with Laura, at least. She likes to tell you about her Logan and you like to dodge her questions about yours. She doesn’t need to know that not every version of Wolverine has a golden heart and story worthy of tears. Yours was a fuck up, plain and simple, but you never thought the incident was his fault. 

As much as others tried to push the blame on him. The people who raided the mansion were determined. There was no other way that day was going to end up. You’d just have one less X-Man. But people always love a martyr more than a victim. 

After a couple of years, you get used to the monotony. Your days are only occasionally broken up by dodging Cassandra’s henchmen and trying not to get sucked up into the soul destroyer. Other than that, you spend your nights getting drunk with Gambit and pretending you know whatever the fuck he’s talking about. 

“Laura! I managed to find some chocolate!” You run into the hideout looking for the girl. It’s rare to find good food that isn’t already a month past its expiration date. You weren’t planning on sharing the candy with her but you figured she’d smell it on you and it’s not worth the fight. 

Instead, you stop short as the familiar blue and yellow uniform you’d always try to force on him comes into view. He’s stealing Gambit’s liquor and you know that’s not going to go over well. What you don’t know is why you are so sure that this is your Wolverine. 

You’ve never had a Wolverine in the void. Not once. This could be any one of the hundreds of thousands of variants. But you see that look in his eye. That familiar watery gaze shows just how much he hurts, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. 

“Logan?” You breathe his name out in disbelief. Bypassing the Deadpool standing nearby. You’ve dealt with enough of those in your time down here. He takes a step back, fixing you with a distrusting look. 

He keeps the bottle of alcohol clutched close to his chest like he thinks you’re going to take it. You track the movement and you scoff. “Right,” you shake your head and stop short. “Of course, the only thing you care about is still getting fucking drunk.”

He glares at you, taking a step forward like he thinks it might actually intimidate you. “Do I know you, bub?” He reaches forward, probably to jab his finger in your chest. You drop your gaze to his outstretched hand and narrow your eyes. 

The material of his suit fluctuates, pulling back and rippling over his arms like liquid and not spandex. He doesn’t notice the manipulation of matter until it's his skin you target. It melts off his adamantium bones and he stares down in horror. 

You know he's scared because he’s watching his body dissolve but he’s not feeling any pain. You could make it hurt, but that’s not what you want. You just want to see if he’ll remember you now. If there’s anything half-decent left in that alcohol-rotted brain of his.

“Flux,” he grits your X-Man name out through his teeth like it hurts him to say it. 

You nod and his skin and suit go back to normal, like you’d never tampered with it in the first place. “You do remember me, then?”

“Thought you fucking died with the rest of them.” Your face drops before you feel an astonished smile on your face. 

“You know, it’s a comfort to know nothing about my world has changed. You’re still the same spineless dick that left us all to die.” You shake your head and storm out of the hideout. You don’t know how long they’re planning on staying but you pray they leave soon. If you have to deal with him longer than a week, you’ll just kill him. 

You step outside just as Laura’s coming back from the bonfire. She greets you with a stiff smile and you wonder what’s got in her in a mood. It only takes a glance over her shoulder to find the reason.

Logan is sulking by the fire, nursing yet another bottle of whiskey. He’s drinking it like water and even with his healing, his liver should have turned to mush by now. “I can see why you didn’t tell me about him,” she mutters as she passes by you. 

You know she tried to be quiet but you can see the way Logan’s head tilts slightly towards you. He’s heard her and you know it has to sting just a little.

You glance down at the leaves under your feet, eyes glazing over as you feel the guilt sink into your stomach. You shouldn’t feel bad, you didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t hurt him, technically, just reminded him who you were. But you still feel bad for what you said. 

You’ve never blamed Logan for what happened. And if you did, you would be a hypocrite. Because you survived too, and you left them all behind. You ran like a coward. You could never blame him when you failed to save them just the same. 

You take in a deep breath and steel yourself. You’ll just apologize, walk over there, and explain to him you didn’t mean what you said. You know he’ll be a dick about it. Claiming he doesn’t want your apology. You’ll just leave him alone after. 

You’re about to step forward when he barks out a gruff command, “Don’t fucking stare at me like that. I don’t want your company.” He turns back to the fire and takes another swig from his bottle. 

You roll your eyes and walk towards him. “You can be as miserable and self-pitying as you want, just let me say one thing.”

His head whips towards you so quickly you’re surprised you don’t hear it snap. “I’m not fucking pitying myself,” he grits out. You quirk your brows in amusement, glancing towards the bottle in his hand and the clear way he’s sulking. He turns his attention back towards the fire, intent on ignoring you again. 

“I don’t blame you for what happened,” you tell him. You ignore the warning look he shoots you, taking a seat beside him even if he doesn’t want you to. “I-” you choke on the words, struggling to admit to yourself what you’ve never wanted to. 

“Don’t.” You know it’s meant to be a warning. But when you look at him and see how completely broken he is, it sounds more like a pathetic plead. 

But you need to say this. As selfish as it is, you need to say this to someone., Need to unload this guilt you’ve carried for so long. “I was there, Logan. I could have saved them and I didn’t. I fucking ran.”

“Kid, don’t do this-”

“Jean was still moving,” you blurt out. You feel the way your heart speeds up at the admission. Your fingers shake and the air around you stills. 

His face drops and he slowly turns towards you. You’re afraid to look at him. You feel like a bunny staring down the snout of a wolf, there’s no escaping this. You’ve created this trap for yourself. 

“What?” He demands. His voice has lost that tremor of vulnerability. Instead, he sounds like he did when he first found out what had happened to you all. That same deadly level of calm that makes you want to bolt again. 

“She,” you stare into the fire until your eyes burn. You don’t know if it’s from the light or the smoke but the pain focuses you. “She was shaking on the floor. There was blood everywhere and she could barely breathe. They had gassed us with something. None of us could use our powers, it’s the only reason they got a one-up on us.”

You can feel yourself slipping back into that moment. You feel the warmth of the blood on your skin. It seeps into your suit and makes the material cling to you. Your gut is split open and the only thing holding your intestines in is your hands. 

Jean is in front of you. Her hands are twitching by her sides. There’s blood pouring out of her lips, dribbling down her tongue and cheeks. Every breath is a rattle so deep you feel it in your bones. 

Each inhale sounds like someone dragging glass through the membrane of her lungs. Her chest rises and sinks shallowly as she gasps for air. She’s practically convulsing, eyes twitching every which way.

The gas has faded from the halls. The people have left, satisfied with the carnage. You’re alone, surrounded only by the blood and bodies of your friends. None of the others are moving. Some of them are so mangled you can’t even tell who they are anymore. 

Jean’s eyes lock onto yours. The only anchor she has. And you can see it, the frantic, wounded animal gaze on her face. She knows she’s dying. She knows there’s nothing she can do about it. 

You can only stand by and watch as your friend dies. You could be her comfort. You could be the last face she sees before she dies, distracting her from the sight of her dead fiancee behind her. 

But what do you do?

You hold your guts in your stomach and you run. You can’t look at her. You can’t look at any of them. You can hear her croaking behind you. And even when you’re out of the mansion, when you’re in a hospital somewhere getting repaired and Logan’s on a rampage, you still hear her. 

You feel something heavy on your arm and it’s like you're being forcibly dragged out of a trance. Logan’s looking at you with something you’ve never seen before. But it’s something you’ve always desperately craved. 

It’s like he’s seeing you, really seeing you. For the first time in a long time, you feel that ache of guilt ease away ever so slightly. It doesn’t disappear, but you’re sharing the burden with someone else and it’s a relief you’ve desperately craved. 

“You’re not a bad person for leaving, kid.” He swallows roughly and you place your hand over his. He doesn’t look completely comfortable with the touch, slightly flinching away from it, but he doesn’t move. “If you hadn’t, you would be dead.”

You squeeze his hand, forcing him to meet your gaze. “I never blamed you for what happened.” emotion is so thick on your tongue and in your throat that the words come out a whisper. “Their deaths weren’t your fault, and what happened after wasn’t.”

He clenches his eyes shut and jerks his hand out of your grip. You sigh, knowing you’ve lost him. “I slaughtered them.”

You scoff, “They slaughtered us!” You nearly shout, anger bubbling hot in your gut. When you heard about him killing those who had hunted down your friends, you’d celebrated. And when you heard the way the public was crucifying him, you realized that no matter what you did they would never love you. 

You would always be nothing more than a mutant to them. 

“And the people who didn’t hurt them? The innocents I killed?” 

You don’t have anything to say to that. You just stand up, placing a hand on his shoulder as you pass by him. “I never blamed you, Logan.”

You don’t see Logan again after that. At least, not while you’re in the void. What was left of your little resistance was sucked up into the purple cloud of death. Only you and Laura are left with the carnage. 

Logan and Wade have disappeared to who knows where. It stings, to be on your own again. Sure, you have Laura, but she’ll never understand the pain of what happened to your universe. 

As much as it hurt, at least with Logan, you had someone to share the pain with. You could share your burden with him. You feel lonely and cold. Like there’s a part of you missing. You finally figure out what that ache is when the TVA comes to collect you and you see him again. 

He’s standing behind Wade as he enthusiastically tells you and Larua all about his world. But you can’t take your eyes off Logan, or the tentative smile on his face. Whatever had happened during that fight with Cassandra Nova had changed him, for the better. 

You smile back at him and it feels like taking a breath of fresh air after years. 

Apparently, whoever this world’s Flux had been, she was fucking insanely rich. And dead, which sucked for her but was great for you and Logan. 

It’s not hard for you to fake some government identities and explain that you’d been mistakenly marked as dead. It’s apparently pretty common in this universe. Superheroes are blipped out of existence all the time. You couldn’t get all of her assets as some had been liquidated, but you did get her giant ass house. 

You let Logan and Laura stay with you until they decide where they want to go. It’s better than living with Wade and his coke-fiend roommate. Laura finds her groove pretty quickly, it is her world after all. But you and Logan struggle to figure out what to do with yourselves. 

Neither of you has an interest in being X-Men again, and it seems like they’re not incredibly present in this world either. You also hadn’t been the best of friends, even before everything went wrong, back home. 

You’re not strangers, you’re not friends, you’re that awkward place in between. Each day is another opportunity to get to know each other. The progress might be slow, but you know that you’re getting closer to something real. 

It’s why you don’t feel any qualms about running into his room when you hear him shouting. You burst into his room and the door slamming against the wall isn’t even enough to wake him up. 

He’s writhing around in the bed, sheets twisted around his waist while sweat beads down his forehead. The noises he’s making remind you of a wounded animal. There’s something heartbreaking about this. 

He doesn’t get peace even when he’s sleeping. It makes you hurt for him. You want to smooth over the aches and pains he carries and burden yourself with them. 

The thought snaps you out of your reverie and you’re shocked by the revelation. You’d been growing closer to him, but you hadn’t thought you were growing this close. You feel so strongly for him, but you’re not ready to put a name on what it is that you feel for him. You just know that right now you want to make him feel better. 

You approach the bed cautiously, taking a seat beside him. The bed ripples and jolts underneath you as he tosses and turns. You place a gentle hand on his arm and shake, “Logan,” you whisper. You don’t want to startle him too bad. 

But he’s not responding to anything. It doesn’t matter how much you shake him or call out his name. Finally, you can’t handle it anymore. You get on your knees, sitting over him and bringing your palm down across his face as hard as you can. 

In a second he’s shooting up. You don’t even notice his hand until you see the way his vision clears. The visceral panic fades and something is aching in your gut. “Oh god, no no no,” he says the word so many times it stops sounding real. 

You look down and see the blood dribbling down his palm, the claws buried in your stomach. It’s almost funny, how perfectly aligned they are with the scar that already lived there. The reminder of your friend’s death being erased and reformed by Logan’s hand. 

He pulls his wrist back and you quickly snatch it up. “Don’t!” You shout, jaw clenching against the pain. “Don’t pull them out, I’ll just bleed out.”

“What the fuck am I supposed to do?” You know he’s worried, that’s why he snaps at you. But it doesn’t help the way you feel yourself fighting back tears.

He sees them drip down your cheeks and his face drops. His other hand, the one not in you, comes up and cradles your cheek. “What do I do?” He whispers, and he sounds more desperate than you do. 

You know he doesn’t want another death on his hands. But there’s something beyond that. He doesn’t want to be the reason you stop breathing. There’s a startling clarity when you’re slowly dying. 

He cares about you. Just as deeply as you do for him. You can’t make him go through this pain again. Can’t let him suffer alone, not when he’s made so much progress. “Slowly,” you tell him, guiding his claws out inch by inch. 

It’s hard not to black out. You’d barely felt it when he’d gotten you the first time. You think it’s because of how fast and sudden it was. But this, having them oh so slowly slicing through your insides is the worst form of torture. 

But you don’t heal like him. You have to close your eyes, focus on the pain, and forcibly reknit your skin back together. It’s a clever manipulation of your powers, but it’s a slow one. You could never take serious damage on the field because you wouldn’t be fast enough to repair yourself. 

This is easy to repair. But that doesn’t make it hurt less. It feels like an hour before he can safely draw them the rest of the way out. The second he does, you’re sinking into his arms with a pained sob. 

He clutches you so tightly to his chest you worry your back might snap. He keeps muttering apologies into your hair, hands desperately grasping at every inch of you he can hold. You’re too tired to say anything. 

You realized you should have. You should have told him you don’t blame him. You were the one who snuck into his room. You should have been smarter. But it doesn’t matter how many times you tell Logan not to blame himself, he always will. And you were too tired to try anyway. 

You only realize what’s happening two days after the incident. You figured he might need some space to process what happened. And honestly, you did too. It was awful and incredibly draining. You’ve felt fatigued ever since. 

But when you try and approach him and he just brushes past you like you weren’t even there, you know something is wrong. You watch his retreating back with a disturbed glare. You connect the dots quickly, already knowing what he’s doing. 

He doesn’t want to be responsible for hurting another person he loves. He can’t handle a loss like that again, even if it’s not by his hands. He wants to make sure you don’t want him, that you don’t care for him. Like that might ease the pain and guilt. 

But it wouldn’t. It would just make him feel worse. It would make you feel worse. 

You don’t waste a second, following him up the stairs and barging into his room before he can slam the door shut. It bounces off the wall and he lets out a deeply irritated sigh. He doesn’t turn to look at you, just walks over to his nightstand and rummages around through the doors.

You know he’s not looking for anything. He’s just trying to ignore you long enough for you to give up. It’s not going to happen, he should know better. 

You take a step further into the room and the smell of chemicals slams into you. Your nose wrinkles in disgust. It smells like he pumped Lysol into the vents. Your eyes dart to the bed and you sigh. 

Your blood, you’d completely forgotten. He must have been cleaning it up the morning after. You can’t blame him for wanting to get rid of the remainder. But this seems excessive. 

“Strong nose,” he mutters. You hadn’t realized you’d spoken aloud and you glanced over at him. “I can still smell it, even after cleaning.” He takes a seat on the bed and you hate the way his shoulders are slumped. 

He’d seemed so much more comfortable with himself lately. It’s like one accident has undone all his progress. “Logan,” you start, taking a step towards him. He holds his hand up, still not looking at you. 

It’s driving you insane. You wish he would just meet your eyes. You feel like you could change his mind if he would just see you. Maybe that’s why he won’t. He won’t let himself be happy. 

“Look, that night just made me realize what a huge fucking mistake this was.” He gets up and slides something out from under the bed. It takes a moment for you to register what it is. A duffel bag, packed with all his essentials and what little clothes he owns. 

He’s going to leave.

You act without thinking. Pure panic making your powers surge out. Logan grunts and the bag falls out of his hand. “Quit it,” he snipes, bending over to pick it up. But he can’t because it’s so heavy it’s making the wooden floor splinter and crack under its weight. 

“You don’t get to just leave when things get hard, Logan.”

He stands up, hands propped on his sides. There’s a challenge in his eyes that makes you nervous. “Fuck this,” he scoffs and brushes past you. 

It’s beyond manipulative to use your powers against him. But sometimes, someone is such a fucking idiot, they need a little outside help. You slam the door closed and the handle disappears, locking you both in his room. 

He turns towards you with a fierce glare on his face. “Open the goddamn door before I break it down.”

“You can try,” you taunt, a nasty tone to your voice. You’re sick of this. You’re sick of running from what you want. You’ve been miserable and alone for years. You want to be happy. For the first time in forever, you want something. 

And you want Logan to be happy with you. You can’t force him to feel the way you do. But you can stop him from actively preventing this. “Stop acting like a goddamn child and just talk to me!” You shout at him. 

There’s a disbelieving look on your face. You don’t understand why he won’t let this happen. Why does he have to fight so hard against any semblance of happiness in his life?

“I’m going to hurt you. That is all I do. I hurt the people I love and I cannot hurt you too.” Your eyes widen in shock at his outburst. Beyond anger, there was so much fear in his voice it was almost enough to make you miss what he’d said. 

“You love me?” You can see the realization dawn on him. The fact that he let slip why he’s so hesitant to be around you. You know he wants to leave, his eyes are darting around the room for an escape route, but you’ve blocked them all. You can’t let this go, not now. 

“Logan,” you snap, demanding an answer from him. 

“Fuck you,” he mutters, something vicious on his face. 

He’s going to hurt you. He’s going to lash out and say something cruel so that this doesn’t happen. You know him because you’ve been him. He will take every possible route to get out of this if it means he doesn’t have to face his feelings. 

You roll your eyes and take a step forward. You jerk him towards you and throw yourself on him before he can say something stupid. The kiss is brief, just enough to snap him out of this ridiculous headspace he’s in. 

When you pull back he looks dazed, but he’s relaxed in your hold, sinking towards you. You grin up at him, “I love you too, dumbass.” You lean up to kiss him again but you dart back at the last second, a mean glare on your face. “Pull some shit like this again and I’m going to melt your dick off.” 

You kiss him before he can respond, but you feel the smile against your lips. You can taste the defeat on his tongue as he wraps his arms around you and tugs you into his chest. He’s not going to push you away and you’re not going to let him. 

end. — I do not own the characters or the comics/movies Wolverine/X-Men, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

General Taglist: @evasmlp

Logan Taglist:  @nonamevenus @smexy-bucky-waifu @wh1sp @peony-always @corvusmorte  

@mrs-ephemeral  @wolviesgirl @allllium  ♡ 

[elllisaaa]

ateez when their s/o gives them cutness aggression

-> words count : 963 words

-> genre : fluff

-> sorry if I made any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> author's note : @mjilv gave me the idea of doing an ateez version so here it is ! hope you'll like it !

-> masterlist | ateez masterlist

svt version | ateez version

KIM HONGJOONG

cause of the aggression : hongjoong coming home very sleepy after a long day working at the studio.

actually, it’s more the way he latches on you as soon as he spots you that melts your heart.

you immediately wrap your arms around him and bury your nose in his hair, then you leave a string of kisses on the crown of his head. 

even after so many hours working, he still smells so good and you’re a little jealous. 

and hongjoong is too tired to try and stop you from doing your thing, on the contrary, he relaxes even more in your embrace, quietly humming in satisfaction.

“how was your day joongie ?”

“so much better now that I’m with you.”

PARK SEONGHWA

cause of the aggression : seonghwa proudly showing off the new lego set he just built. 

you had always thought that your boyfriend’s passion for lego was endearing, but the way he always seeks out your approval on everything he adds to his collection makes you want to keep him with you forever. 

so instead of paying attention to the piece in his hands, you squish his cheeks and kiss his lips repeatedly instead. 

seonghwa whines a few times, asking you what you are doing but honestly, he loves the affection so he quickly shuts up.

“now, what were you saying, baby ?”

“i’m not sure i wanna talk about legos now. can you kiss me again instead ?”

JEONG YUNHO

cause of the aggression : you know the golden retriever energy he has ? yeah, that is enough.

because why does his whole face light up when he finds you in the cereal aisle at the grocery store, showing off the new ice cream flavors he’s been wanting to try. 

and you don’t care that you’re in public because you just need to show him that you love him.

so you grab his arm and stand on your tippy toes to be able to kiss his cheeks as many times as you want.

and yunho’s giggles as you do it don’t help calm you down.

“what was that for ?”

“don’t act like you don’t know how cute you are, jeong yunho.”

KANG YEOSANG

cause of the aggression : you know the way he’s looking above himself sometimes ? that is literally the cutest thing ever wtf ???

so when you pass behind the couch and your boyfriend does that, you cannot help the urge to bend down and leave a trail of kisses along his forehead.

yeosang sometimes doesn’t understand you, but he loves your kisses so he lets you do your thing. 

when you finally let him go, you notice his red ears, and you chuckle lightly before giving him a real kiss on the lips.

“i’m never getting used to this.”

“good, i want you to be surprised everytime i come out of nowhere to give you affection.”

CHOI SAN

cause of the aggression : san pouting at you because you don’t want to sleep with him due to the unbearable heat of the summer. 

you were already sweating like crazy, and you didn’t want to wake up in the middle of the night all sticky because your boyfriend wasn’t able to keep his hands off of you.

but the way he was pleading you with his whole face was too cute to ignore. 

so you simply sighed as you settled in his arms again and went to kiss his pouty lips. and as soon as you were done with your attack, san was all smiley again.

“you’re such a child.”

“maybe, but you love me.”

SONG MINGI

cause of the aggression : his big smile, the one that makes me want to kill myself because he’s too fucking pretty for this world. 

when he’s smiling like that, it’s already hard to manage, but when that smile is directed at you, it’s impossible to pass on the opportunity to kiss his whole face.

so you don’t hesitate to cup his face in your hands and press your lips against every inch of his skin.

and his smile doesn’t leave him as you go on, his own hands going down to grab your waist.

as soon as you’re done, he’s pressing a kiss to your own lips, and his eyes are filled with love.

“i really don’t deserve you.”

“you do mingi, you deserve the world.”

JUNG WOOYOUNG

cause of the aggression : we all know how cute he is when he’s taking care of kids so seeing him be all lovey dovey with your little cousins makes your heart flutter. 

as soon as wooyoung said his goodbyes to the little girl because you had to go, you’re all over him.

he doesn’t understand what’s happening, and he’s whiny at the beginning, trying to push you off of him.

but he progressively gives up on his plan and simply lets you do your thing. 

and when you finally let him go - and breathe some fresh air - he cannot hide his cheeky smile.

“something’s wrong with you, i swear.”

“as if you’re not just as crazy !”

CHOI JONGHO

cause of the aggression : once again, the smile. like, his big gummy smile… killing myself again.

no but how can you resist him when he’s smiling at you like that ?? you can’t ! 

so even if he didn’t ask for this, you kiss his face as many times as you can before jongho starts to protest. 

but both of you know that it’s only to try and keep his composure, because he loves it when you’re showering him with your love like that.

but he has a reputation to hold (he has none but you let him believe it because he’s cute).

“all of that just because of my smile ?”

“don’t play dumb ! you know very well how weak i am !”

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

ateez taglist (fill in this to added) :

@sharonxdevi @hann1bee @lil-kpopstan @heevllog @lichyuu @foxinnie8 @lovelyuyu

[starkeynation]

I love you, I’m sorry

A letter from reader to Rafe

Content: Angst, like PURE sad, the lamp looks weird, based on the song I love you, I’m sorry by Gracie Abrams (may or may not be accurate)

A/N: about that cliffhanger and happy ending, I changed my mind… also ignore any writing mistakes if there’s any and this was kinda rushed so I hope it still turns out good

Masterlist

dividers from @anitalenia

Rafe,

It is Saturday night. I should be out doing something, partying or whatever to enjoy myself, yet here i am, pen in hand, finding myself writing to you again. I know this letter will never reach you- it’ll end up crumpled at the bottom of my drawer or burned to ashes. Still, I can’t seem to stop myself.

It has been exactly two august ago since everything fell apart. I remember the way I laid it all out, raw, I wanted to be real, hoping that honesty would mend us. We weren’t perfect. Hell, we were far from it. We fought like fire and gasoline, burning everything we touched. Jealousy leads us to mistrust each other but even then, I didn’t think it would end the way it did. I never thought that fight would be the last..the final, devastating blow before you ghosted me and blocked me everywhere.

I swear it wasn’t my intention to break up with you, I thought by exposing the cracks, we could patch them together. Instead, the truth just ended up pushing you away. When you drove off in your Benz and left me standing at my gate, it felt like everything had stopped. The time, the world, my heart…everything froze. I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to scream, I wanted to stop you, beg you to stay, to tell you that we could still save us but you didn’t look back, and i was too late.

Now, i watch you from a distance as you become successful, helping your dad doing business, running Cameron’s development like you were born to do it. I heard your name whispered in admiration at the club where I work, how you charm people the way you trained for. And you know what? I’m so so proud of you Rafe. I always knew you had it in you. I’ll be rooting for you always, even from the shadows.

Maybe two summers from now we’ll be talking again at some point, exchange smiles, our lives untangled and we’re cool again. I can picture you’ll be in your family’s jet, travelling, and me, on my boat moving on with our own lives. By then, i hope..im actually ready to move on. I know you’ve already moved on- I mean, why wouldn’t you? Still, there’s part of me wish that you wouldn’t yet, and maybe, just maybe, you would take me back.

But that’s just selfish isn’t it? I was selfish when we were together too. I made everything about me, i was inconsiderate, I turn something small into raging battles. I didn’t listen, didn’t see you for who you were. I’m ashamed of the person I was, of the mistakes I made. After everything i did, I’m surprised you haven’t send someone to kill me yet.

Lately I find myself sitting on the porch, watching sunsets like we used to, with a glass of something strong in my hand. I laugh at myself, at the crash I made, because what else can I do? It’s a twisted kind of coping—laughing at my own heartbreak. It doesn’t feel real and it’s really hard to let go but i guess that’s just the way life goes.

I know i was a dick, Rafe. I had too many flaws to count but as sick as it sounds, I loved you first. You’ll always be my first love. You were the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me, a storm that left me shattered but alive. Your love had impact me deeply, it is carved in my soul. No matter where we are, i want you to know that I’ll carry the past and the weight of my mistakes with me. Trust me, it will always, haunt me.

I regret every second for not treating you well, for not being the person you needed. Lastly, i want you to know that I still, truly, deeply, love you, I’m sorry.

*Ding* you heard the bell rings. You rush downstairs to answer the door.

“Pizza delivery”, says the delivery boy standing in front of you. You almost forgot you ordered one, an hour ago. You take your prepaid alfredo chicken pizza and thank him. It was Rafe’s favourite pizza, you’re not sure if it’s still his favourite though. After shutting the door, you walk to your kitchen.

Just two seconds later, *ding* the bell rings again. Did the delivery boy forget anything? You thought.

You open the door, “yes-“ you pause. You couldn’t believe it, standing right in front of you,

“Topper?”

“Topper what are you doing here?” you ask, your voice laced with confusion.

He then steps aside and reveals a man behind him, lying on the steps of your porch- a man whose silhouette you’d recognize anywhere. “Rafe,” you whisper.

“Shit I’m sorry to bother you but this dumbass got into an accident for driving while he’s high,” Topper blurts out, panickly.

Your brow furrowing and your confusion deepens. You walk closer to Rafe and spot the blood dripping from his head, “Accident? What? Then why do you bring him here instead of the hospital?” You ask, your voice sharp, slicing through the chaos of the moment.

“He won’t let me. He insisted I bring him here to see you,” Topper explains.

“Y/n,” Rafe speaks up, his voice low and strained.

Your heart skips a beat. It’s like the universe has stopped spinning again. This is the first time you hear him calling your name after two whole years.

“Hey Rafe, you’re bleeding,” you say, your voice mix with feelings.

“I’m fine,” he says, giving a soft, disarming smile while trying to sit up.

You instruct Topper to go find some cloth to stop the bleeding. As he dissapears, you sit on your knees facing to Rafe, “Rafe, what happened? Why are you here?” you ask, still have no clue of what’s going on here.

“I wanted to see you,” he replies, putting on that damn smile again, the one that’s always managed to unravel you. “I miss you, y/n.”

Your face goes pale, your eyes widens, the words hang in the hair, heavy and unexpected. “Rafe, you’re drunk,” you accuse, trying to make sense of what’s happening right now.

“No, I’m not, i swear I’m very conscious right now,” he insists, his voice firm. You’re still not sure if he’s telling the truth or not. “I really miss you, y/n,” he continues, his voice low but still clear for you to hear it.

Your heart aches, torn between disbelief and the undeniable pull of his words. “How hard did you hit your head? God, you’re still bleeding. We need to see a doctor,” you say, trying to stand up, but he grabs your hand, pulling you back down.

“Stop it, I’m fine i swear…this is nothing,” he says waving off the concern. Just then, Topper returns with a towel in his hand. He hands the towel to you and says, “dude, are you sure you’re okay? When i saw your car there were smokes everywhere. Looks like you hit that tree pretty hard,” his voice fill with concern.

“I’m fine Top, just go. I need to talk to y/n,” Rafe says with a dismissive wave. Topper hesitates, he looks at you for confirmation as if you’re the one in charge here. You nod at him, signalling an approval, “s’okay Top i can handle this.”

“Okay, just call me if anything happens,” he says. “Thank you,” you mutter softly to Topper as he’s leaving towards his car.

With Topper gone, you shift your focus back to Rafe. You take the towel and start dabbing on the blood on his forehead, “we still need to get this stitched up,” you say. Rafe then grabs your wrist, his grip firm but not forceful, “look at me,” he demands.

You look at him straight in the eyes, drowning in his blue eyes. It’s overwhelming- staring at the man that you love but no longer yours.

“I do mean what i said, i miss you y/n and i wanted to see you,” he says, his tone steady and sure.

“But why now?” You ask, your voice breaking under the weight of the question.

“Sar..Sarah told me tonight that you’ve been writing letters about me. She found them stashed under your bed,” he says, hesitantly.

Your stomach drops and you shake your head in disbelief, “God…i knew it there was something wrong. She was acting so weird when she left this morning,” you mutter.

“So it’s true? You’ve been writing about me?”

Your face is turning red, you’re struggling to find the words. “I- yes…I’ve been writing letters. Pretending like I’m gonna send it to you but i never do,” you stutter.

“Why didn’t you just send them?” He presses, his voice low, almost pleading.

“You know why Rafe…you’ve moved on. You blocked me few months after we broke up. You’re thriving now with your job, you got your whole life together, and I- I was the reason why we broke up. I can’t just crawl my way back into your life like nothing happened,” you shatter, your voice breaking as you’re struggling to control your tears.

Rafe shakes his head. He brushes his thumb over your knuckles and kisses it. “You’re wrong y/n, you’re absolutely wrong. I’ve been doing nothing over the past two years except than trying to forget about you. That’s why I’ve been doing all these jobs, thinking it could distract me, but no,” he shakes his head again. “Nothing could make me stop thinking about you.”

His confession leaves you breathless, your tears streaming down your face as he continues. “About the blocking and disappearing, I’m really sorry, I was a coward. The truth is, that day i came to your house to apologize. Then, as I stood outside, i saw you were laughing with jj through your window. I knew you guys were not together cause after jj left, I may or may not have confronted him…” he then mouthed sorry. “But then, I remember the way you looked so happy when you’re with him. At that time, I knew I had to let you go cause you deserve someone better and you deserve to be happy so that’s why I blocked you..as if that makes any difference.”

You idiot,” you scoff. “I never wanted anyone else, only you Rafe, only you. You’re the only one who could truly make me happy.”

His eyes glisten, his smile soft and hesitant. “Please forgive me y/n, I swear I’m a better person now and I love- I love you, so much. I still do.”

You reach up, caress his cheek and pull him in for a kiss. “I love you too Rafe,” you whisper. He cups your face and returns the kiss. The kiss is passionate, slow and tender. His lip is so soft and only god knows how much you miss this. The world fades around you, leaving only the two of you, two broken pieces finding their way back to each other.

You pull away from his face and let out a giggle. “Why are you laughing?” He asks, can’t help but let out a soft giggle too.

“Before you came I was actually writing another letter for you,” you admit, a shy smile appears on your face.

“Oh really? Tell me about it baby,” he smirks. Your smile widens at the sound of the nickname that rolls out from his mouth. “Mm I miss that. You, calling me baby. Anyways, it’s in my room, wanna come in?” You ask.

He shakes his head, pulling you closer as he leans back against the stairs railing. “Hmm in a bit sweetheart, you can tell me here while we stargaze. I missed your porch- and mostly you, of course,” he replies with a faint smile.

So you do. You talk to him about the letter while your head rest on his shoulder and your fingers intertwined. “Lastly I wrote, I love you, I’m sorry,” you say, explaining the last content of the letter. But then, you realise he has gone quiet. His stillness unsettling. You glance up to him, “Rafe?” He’s not responding. You check his pulse but there is none. Panic sets in as you shake him, calling his name.

“Rafe”

“Rafe, wake up”

“Wake up!”

“Wake up!”

“Y/n”

“Y/n”

“Y/n, wake up”

You gasp, your heart is pounding like a drum. You’re sweating all over your body as reality crashes down. It was a nightmare.

“Hey..baby you okay?” You turn your head to your right and realise it’s Rafe. He’s okay, he’s alive and he’s sitting on the bed next to you. Relief floods through you like a tidal wave.

“Is it the nightmare again?” He asks. You nod, signalling him that he’s right.

“It’s okay baby I got you. Here, come back to sleep,” he says, gently pulling you into his arms. You smile and cuddle him, clinging to the illusion of safety his embrace provides. You close your eyes again trying to fall back to sleep till your alarm suddenly rings.

You wake up with a tear running down your cheek. You hit the snooze button and realise that was a dream and this time, it’s the true reality. You look to the other side of your bed, it’s empty. It always has been for quite a while now. The truth is, that night after Rafe collapsed, you called for an ambulance. On the way to the hospital, they try everything to make his heart beat again, but nothing works. It was too late. He had lost too many blood before that you weren’t aware of and that same night, Rafe had died in your arms.

It’s been 3 years since the tragic. You keep having the same dream almost every night. Part of you is grateful that you and Rafe had ended in good terms but another part of you knows that the truth is you’ll never get the chance to redeem yourself and be a better partner. There’s nothing remaining other than the memories that will haunt you forever.

Rafe, if you’re hearing this, I love you, I’m sorry.

Like and reblog if you want to kys after reading this😇☺️

[colonelarr0w]

Hiiii i really like reading some angst stuffs so heres my idea loll!

What about reader never felt like they were ever loved romantically and has been quite the loner for a while. So, to have Gojo confess to the reader has reader confused, but quite happy, but will soon find out that its a dare and Gojo only has the end of the year to make reader date him! (Just say the current month is near december loll)

But as time goes by, Gojo starts to actually have feelings for reader and suddenly reader overheard their convo of Gojo with his friends about the dare...

(PLS IM SORRY IF THIS IS TOO SPECIFIC THISIS ONE OF MY FIRST TIMES REQUESTING SMTHHH. BTW YOU CAN CHANGE THE GOJO TO ANYONE ELSE :3AND ALSO YOU CAN CHOOSE WETHER TO HAVE COMFORT OR NAH. AND THANKS FOR GIVING YOUR TIME TO READ THIS HAVE A NICE DAYY)

-🍰

Sypnosis - Gojo was already known to be a heartbreaker, but you didn't stop to think for a second that maybe -- just maybe -- he was trying to break your heart too.

Warning(s) - mature themes, foul language, Gojo is a MAJOR dick in this one, angst

Word Count - 3.1k

A/N - Hi Anon! (STOP IM CRYING I LOVE EMOJI ANONS SO MUCH) So you made the mistake of giving me an angst prompt while also saying that I could maybe add comfort. I will be doing no such thing. Kisses!

! PIECE BEGINS UNDERNEATH THE CUT !

Satoru Gojo was, by every single standard, a lady’s man.  

And you, by every single standard, were the complete opposite of every man’s “ideal type”. 

How you managed to find yourself in a situation where you told others, “I’m dating Satoru Gojo,” felt like a fever dream constructed by the hardest drug.  

The way in which he asked you out was — well — Satoru Gojo. A grand white banner with your name scrawled into it, underneath it the words: Go out with me?  

Of course you accepted, though you were thoroughly confused. You had always been an observer from the shadows, not emerging unless it was absolutely necessary.  

To have the Satoru Gojo ask you out in front of a gaggle of people was off putting — and certainly not anything that you had expected.  

But none of that stopped you from saying yes, which made the snowy-haired male’s smile widen three times in size — if that was even possible.  

“C’mon Satoru, it’s an easy 2,500 Yen,” Geto says, a sly smirk curling the corner of his mouth upward as he leans over the back of the couch. 

Gojo sighs, jutting out his bottom lip as one of his hands busies itself with running through his hair. It wasn’t a terrible bet — even though the payoff didn’t exactly feel worth it.  

“2,500 Yen to ask her out?” Gojo confirms, turning his head and glancing over the rims of his glasses. Geto smirks again, turning his phone and flashing a picture of you at Gojo, just to make sure that he would be asking out the right person. 

“2,500 Yen,” Geto nods. Gojo sighs, his body slumping forward dramatically. Geto grins again, watching his best friend crack down — no way was he turning down a bet that he could easily secure. 

“Fine, you have a deal,” Gojo holds his hand out, failing to hold back the smirk that curls his mouth upward as Geto slaps his hand against Gojo’s. 

The two shake on it, and the bet is made. 

But, of course, you were oblivious to all of that. You believed that, for the very first time, someone looked at you in a way that wasn’t strictly platonic. Someone loved you — really, truly loved you. 

And what an extravagant partner Gojo was, buying you small trinkets that he believed you would like, taking you to restaurants that you had looked at on the street for a moment too long — he had even forced himself to learn how to ice skate because you mentioned offhandedly that it would be nice to skate with someone.  

For the first time in a very long time, you felt connected to someone. Conversations flowed so easily between you both, never forced or uncomfortable. It was as if you had known each other your entire lives.  

Gojo knew that it was fake — you thought it was truly real.  

< … > 

“(Y/N)! There you are!” Gojo calls out with a flashy wave of his arm. Once you’re in reach of him, he latches onto you, nose nuzzling into your hair. 

You let out a startled squeak at the force of his body against yours, but immediately loosen up and return his embrace, snuggling as deeply as you can into his arms.  

“Satoru!” you laugh out breathlessly, squeezing his shoulders as he lifts you from the ground, easily spinning the both of you in a circle. “You act like you haven’t seen me in years.” 

Gojo rolls his eyes dramatically, setting you down but keeping his arms locked around your waist. He gaze meets yours through the darkened lenses of his glasses, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.  

“Oh god, I know that look,” you mutter teasingly, which earns you an affectionate pinch to your side — one that you swat him away for.  

“You wound me,” Gojo sasses back, releasing you only to place a hand flat against his chest as if he had been stabbed. You roll your eyes, laughing breathily at his antics.  

“What do you want to do tonight? It’s date night,” you remind him, watching as his face breaks into a bright smile. He reaches for you again, lifting your hand and twirling you around before he tugs you to his chest. 

“I was thinking-“ he begins in a sing-song tone. You raise an eyebrow at him, which he quickly leans in to peck. “-we go to the movies, get some cheap froyo, and crash in your dorm.” 

You smile at him, eyes crinkling adorably at the corners as you throw your arms around his neck, squeezing him. 

“Yes please!” 

< … > 

“The movies? Froyo? God, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re falling for her,” Geto mocks the motion of throwing up, earning a laugh from the snowy-haired boy that stands next to him.  

Gojo rolls his eyes, catching the basketball that Geto throws at his chest. He bounces it once against the ground before taking a shot, smirking as it swishes inaudibly into the basket.  

“I want her to at least believe it,” Gojo responds with an indifferent shrug of his shoulders. Geto rolls his eyes, biting back the chuckle that rises in his throat. “What? I’m not lying.” 

“No, I know you’re not lying,” Geto bends to pick up the abandoned basketball, bouncing it against the ground and taking a shot of his own — which misses. 

“So then why the sudden comment?” 

“Because of the look in your eyes whenever someone mentions her or whenever you see her,” Geto says plainly, turning to cross his arms at Gojo.  

He purses his lips together, eyebrows pinching in confusion as he silently urges Geto to continue. How he looks at you? 

Geto sighs through his nose, then lifting his fingers to pinch at its bridge. The basketball is long abandoned now, rolling into the center of the gym and remaining there.  

“Every time she calls out to you with that — stupid nickname, you brighten up like a dog who’s seeing his owner,” Geto points out. Gojo can feel the tips of his ears burn red at that — because even he knew that it was true. 

“Toru! There you are!” you call out affectionately, crossing the training fields and practically jumping into Gojo’s awaiting arms. 

He smiles warmly as your face nestles into the junction between his neck and shoulder, breathing in the familiarity of your scent and holding you close to him. 

“That isn’t true,” he murmurs, scratching at the back of his neck. Geto stands still for a moment, staring at Gojo with a look that could easily slaughter an entire town.  

“No? How about when she made you lunch that one time?” Geto raises his eyebrow — his eyes visually calling bullshit as Gojo’s cheeks burn the same shade of red as his ears.  

“Ta-da!” you smile widely as you present Gojo with the intricately put-together bento box. He takes it from your hands, allowing his fingers to brush against your own for a moment too long — an action that brought a light blush to your cheeks.  

He smiles down at the bento you had prepared for him, feeling his heart swell at the idea that someone cared enough about him to sit down and put so much thought into preparing him a lunch. Gojo is quick to then lean in, pecking your cheek and smiling widely at the dark red hue that coats your face. 

“That’s…different,” Gojo tries to argue, but Geto is quick to call out his bluff, laughing loudly in his friend’s face and striding towards the center of the gym to retrieve the abandoned basketball. He bends, scooping it into his palms and bouncing it twice against the ground.  

“Oh, I’m sure that it is,” Geto rolls his eyes, twisting his body and shooting the basketball — already displaying annoyance when it misses yet again.  

Gojo sighs, the puff of air he releases blowing his bangs from his face. He watches as Geto goes to retrieve the basketball, bouncing it once before roughly checking it to Gojo.  

“Careful Satoru, I wouldn’t want you to fall for her,” Geto teases, feeling himself smirk as Gojo’s hands catch the basketball. The snowy-haired male rolls his eyes in response, bouncing the ball. 

“That won’t happen, trust me,” Gojo bites back, not failing to notice the knowing glint in Geto’s eyes.  

“Sure it won’t.” 

< … > 

Hey! I’m at the theatre, where are you? 

READ 

Satoru? 

READ 

I’m just assuming you’re running late, just text me when you’re here! 

DELIVERED 

Puffing out the air that you held in your cheeks, you stow your phone away into your pocket, eyes silently scanning the front entrance of the theatre. Maybe you missed him? No, there was no tuft of snowy-white hair anywhere in the crowd — surely he was just running late.  

You shuffle on your feet, adjusting the small bag that you had brought with you. The interior is stuffed with snacks that both you and Gojo enjoyed — including his favorite from the local convenience store. You smile to yourself, already picturing the wide smile that would cross his face when you presented him with the snacks.  

Your phone buzzes in your pocket, which you all but dive for with a speed that feels almost inhuman. You stare down at the illuminated screen, heart deflating as you realize it’s only a message from your mother, checking in and asking you how your date with Gojo was going.  

Lifting a shaky hand to your eyes, you wipe away the tears that cling to your bottom lash line. You text your mother back, lying to her about the state of the date and pushing your phone back into your pockets. You glance back down at your open purse, blinking back your tears at the sight of the snacks — what a waste. 

< … >  

“Sato—“ 

You pause just outside of the classroom doors, resting your palms against the sliding door and peering curiously inside. Your eyebrows pinch together, eyes narrowing as you listen intently to the conversation shared between Gojo and Geto, both of whom seemed to be in the middle of — maybe — arguing with one another.  

“How much longer am I keeping this up for?” Gojo all but whines, leaning back in the seat that he was occupying, his feet propped up on the desk as he releases an annoyed huff.  

Geto chuckles, rubbing a hand over his face as he sits on the desk directly in front of Gojo, folding his legs over one another and smirking down at his best friend. Gojo sighs, blowing his bangs out of his face as he leans forward, his sunglasses slightly slipping down the bridge of his nose.  

“Why? Getting bored?” Geto raises an eyebrow at Gojo, lifting his arms to cross them firmly over his chest. Gojo rolls his eyes yet again, releasing a deepened sigh that only has Geto releasing the chuckle that he had been holding in.  

“I’m getting tired,” Gojo mocks a dramatic yawn, throwing his arms into the air and leaning back in his chair. Geto raises an eyebrow at the answer, curious now. 

“Tired?” 

“Exhausted. I don’t think you understand Suguru, she’s so desperately clingy and just — I can’t keep up with it,” Gojo explains in exasperation, rubbing his hands over his face and digging his fingers into the skin of this temples, rubbing them in slow circles.  

You feel your heart crack the more that Gojo speaks — listening quietly as he lists off all of the things that he seemingly hates about you. Your eyes burn with tears, and suddenly every ounce of love that you ever felt for Gojo seep out of you in waves. 

Had he felt that way about you the whole time? 

“Hey, you were the one that said yes. You could’ve dropped the bet,” Geto shrugs his shoulders, an action that earns him an annoyed kick from Gojo.  

“It’s 2,500 Yen. I’m not saying no to that,” Gojo reminds his friend, waving a finger in his face. Geto chuckles breathily, but pauses at an unfamiliar sound — a choked cry. His head whips around in an attempt to locate the source of the sound, feeling his heart drop to the deepest depths of his stomach at the sight of a retreating figure by the classroom's doors.  

Gojo follows Geto's wandering gaze, eyebrows knitting together in confusion at the sudden change in his friend's facial expression. "Shit." Is all that Geto says before he moves to the door, peering out of it just in time to see your figure turn the farthest corner of the hallway – then vanishing.  

Geto's eyes flicker to meet Gojo's as the latter leans his chin onto Geto's shoulder, staring at the spot that you had just disappeared from.  

"What happened?" Gojo inquires curiously, not failing to notice the way that Geto's spine stands as stiff as cardboard. The dark-haired male swallows the lump in his throat – they were both royally fucked.  

"We're fucked." 

< ... >  

"There, there, c'mon (Y/N), don't let this--" 

"He lied to me!" You rub your hands roughly over your tear-filled eyes, feeling your chest tighten as you look away from Utahime's concerned gaze. Her eyebrows furrow together in worry, eyes silently taking you in as you curl into yourself.  

She would be lying if she said that she wasn't downright pissed at what Gojo had done to you. After listening to your tearful ramble about what you heard, any and all respect that she had for her snowy-haired classmate went completely out of the window. 

Not that there was much respect there in the first place.  

"So how much of what he said did he actually mean?" Your voice is a broken cry, trembling in a way that has Utahime reaching out to comfortingly lace her fingers with your own.  

"I don't know," she whispers in response, not knowing how to help you. You turn your head away from her, sniffing and wiping your nose with the cloth of your sleeve. "I'm sorry (Y/N)." 

You shake your head, breath trembling as you grip at your knees. You screw your eyes shut, still seeing his affectionate smile behind your eyelids – you wish that you could forget it completely. You can still feel him too; you can feel his arms wrapped around you and his lips as they press affectionately to your cheek.  

You begin to wonder how much effort he actually put into your dates, you begin to wonder if his affectionate touches were genuine, you begin to wonder if it was him writing his text messages out or if it was someone else entirely. Did he ever care about you? 

"Hey." 

You glance up at Utahime, sniffling quietly as she reaches a hand out, laying her palm against your cheek and thumbing away the stray tears that roll down your cheeks. Her heart breaks at the sight of you – but her heart also yells angrily at the idea that Gojo would toy with you for a measly 2,500 Yen.  

She knew that he was an asshole – everyone did. But she didn't think he was that big of an asshole.  

"How about me and you go out? I'll even text Mei Mei and Shoko," Utahime offers, smiling again at you. You sniffle, cheeks reddened by your tears. Your eyes are puffy, lashes still wet with tears that take their sweet time in dripping down your face.  

"Can we stay in instead?"  

Utahime nods, smiling again at you. Her arms extend, wrapping around you and tugging you into her chest, squeezing affectionately at you. You sink into her embrace, face pressed comfortably into her shoulder.  

"Yeah, of course we can." 

< ... >  

"You're such a dick!" Utahime yells in a fit of rage, shoving her hands against Gojo's chest and glaring daggers at him as he stumbles backwards. He stares at her incredulously, eyebrows raised to a point that his forehead is wrinkled five times over.  

He hadn't expected this behavior from the usually calm and collected girl – but the way that she had stormed at him screaming her head off told him that he had royally screwed up.  

Over his shoulder, Geto watches knowingly. He knows that he'll likely be yelled at too, so in mental preparation, he remains completely silent, not wanting Utahime to turn her rage on him prematurely.  

"What is this about?" Gojo asks genuinely, his eyes narrowed in confusion as Utahime angrily takes a step back from him, restraining herself from actively strangling him.  

"What is this – so you just have no idea what you did to (Y/N)? God, you're dense!" Utahime all but screams, throwing her hands up in a fit of rage. 

Gojo narrows his eyes, then they widen – shit. How the fuck did you find out? 

"What do you mean?" He pauses for a moment, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. "What about (Y/N)?" 

"Oh, don't act so clueless! You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Utahime jabs a finger at Gojo's chest, her eyes burning with a rage that he had genuinely never seen in her before. She takes a brave step towards him – in return, he takes a step back.  

"I don't--" 

"Does 2,500 Yen sound familiar to you?" Utahime raises an eyebrow at him. He deadpans, swallowing the growing lump in his throat and feeling his heart sink.  

His silence tells her everything that she needs to know. She straightens, shooting a pointed glare to Geto as well – resulting in him looking anywhere but her direction, gaze flickering around wildly.  

She turns her attention back to Gojo, looking him up and down with an expression of nothing but pure disgust. He winces at the glint in her eyes – God, he had really screwed up.  

"You're both disgusting," Utahime spits venomously, then turning on her heel and promptly striding away from both males. Gojo turns, exchanging a worried yet remorseful glance in Geto's direction. His friend only swallows, they had both royally screwed up. 

< ... >  

Gojo suffered with the aftermath of you hearing his conversation – you avoided him like he had been infected with some kind of infectious disease. Any room he entered, you exited. Any time he called out your name with a polite wave, you turned your nose up and continued walking.  

In a way, you pretended that he simply didn't exist – that the person waving to you or trying to interact with you was nothing but a phantom, one that you ignored as if it was the only thing that you knew how to do.  

"(Y/N)! Hey, can we--" 

You stride past him, shoulder knocking against his own as you exit the classroom. He stands silently at its center, lowering his hand back to his side – he had wanted to reach out for you, but something inside of him told him to simply leave you be.  

And the day that he saw you happily hanging off of Nanami's arm was the day that he realized – loving someone from afar was the worst pain of all.  

[samiiy20]

♡ 𝑳𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝑴𝒚 𝑩𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 ♡

𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: Lee Minho x fem!reader 𝑆𝑦𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠: When you thought it was finally your time to shine, fate plays against you by pairing you with the person you hate the most, making you have to work together to win a dance competition. 𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: Slow burn, rivals/enemies to lovers, smut 𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 11k (damn it, sorry) 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒖𝒕

N/A: Sorry for the wait, but here it is at last. I'm actually really proud of this, it's my longest work so far so if you like it please reblog it, that would help me a lot. I thought of making this a sort of mini series of the kind of love you would have with the other members, so look out for news soon.

masterlist II tag list

This content NOT is for minors!!!

This is merely entertainment, this does not represent any real person.

It is forbidden to copy or translate my work.

English NO is my first language.

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: Mention of anxiety attacks (if you are sensitive don't read it) Insults, nicknames: (darling) ,unprotected sex (don't do it), semi-public sex, oral sex, fingering. (I'm sorry if I forgot something) A little bit of angust if you squint your eyes.

Dancing was everything to you, ever since you could remember you knew you were destined to shine on stage, although it wasn't always easy. Over the years you had to do many things, you gave up many others and even lost relationships with important people to pursue your dreams, you worked very hard to get into a prestigious academy and when you finally did you worked even harder to make a name for yourself in the industry, but it was harder than you thought, but still you weren't willing to give up.

You trained for a long time, so much that sometimes you forgot the hours you spent in the practice room, but when your name was among the highest positions you felt that everything was worth it, but there were times when you felt the opposite, no matter how much you concentrated and dedicated time sometimes it wasn't enough, that's why you were determined to win this competition.

When you heard your name you took a breath and ignored all the looks from your classmates and went on stage. The pressure in your chest increased with each step, but you continued walking until you reached the center and looked up to try to see the judges, but with the light reflecting off you it was impossible to know where they were.

You got into position, raised your arms, stretched your legs and stood on your toes.

The music resonated loudly throughout the place, but only you could feel it running through your veins as you danced, it was as if it entered your body and took control of it. You felt like you were in another place when you danced, you felt like for a moment everything else ceased to exist and there was only room for the music.

You gave every part of yourself to that dance and when the music finally stopped you were aware of your heart beating strongly. You opened your eyes and you were back on stage. Your breathing was accelerated and your feet hurt, but you could only smile as you tried to recover.

“Thank you very much” you gave a small bow, giving way to the nerves that invaded your body and you left the stage to wait for the judges’ final decision. The other people waited just as anxiously as they watched the number of participants getting smaller and smaller.

You stayed to look at the others, but none of them was better than the last, many fell or made mistakes because of their nerves and that only made you feel more confident for a moment, until you saw him.

Lee Minho.

He was new, but he earned the teachers’ recognition easily, something that bothered you since it took you several years for the teacher to even remember your name, but after finding out that his family was rich and had enough money to buy a place anywhere it only made your hatred towards him grow.

You always avoided him wherever you went and if you met him by mistake you just ignored him, you couldn’t stand people like him, crushing the effort and time of others just for a little money.

Still, what bothered you the most about him was that despite everything he did pretty well. When it was his turn, people crowded behind the curtains to watch him and you rolled your eyes, but you didn't leave.

“He's amazing” you heard someone say “he's sure to get the lead role” you sighed heavily and turned to see the person who said that comment in your presence and he just lowered his head when your eyes met.

The music started playing through the speakers and he made the first move. You knew the choreography by heart, you had seen him practice over and over again. His movements were delicate and he had perfect control over his body, his arms moved to the beat of the music and his feet marked his steps with harmony.

Lee Minho had a unique glow among everyone, he stood out among the rest with his simplicity and fluid movements, in addition, he was tall, with a sharp face and full lips, but his gaze was cold and calculating. It was like Minho was born with a natural talent that made him steal the attention in any room he entered and that, too, bothered you.

You peeked your head out a little and saw how everyone was lost appreciating his dance, a small part inside you knew it, knew that all your effort had been for nothing (again) and it was all because of him. You walked away from the place with a cloud of ideas in your head and you felt a pressure in your chest and labored breathing, you looked around but your vision began to get blurry.

“Shit” you whispered trying to find a lonely place because you knew what was coming.

You tried to control yourself, but every second that passed was worse. Your hands began to shake and you felt an invisible pressure surround your body, but you let out a small sigh of relief when you saw the bathroom door.

You ran and checked that there was no one there before closing the door and collapsing on the floor. There was no air left and you felt like you could faint at any moment.

You closed your eyes and tried to control your tears, but you knew it was impossible with all those thoughts tormenting you, so you let the sorrow envelop you.

When you came out of the bathroom again, everyone was gathered to hear the judges' decision. Despite your swollen eyes and red nose, you walked among everyone with your head held high and noticed Minho in the distance along with two other people, but you sat far away from the rest, where the shadows would hide you a little.

Everyone was nervous and you could feel the uncertainty in the environment, you just wanted all this to end so you could breathe.

The judges approached where everyone was gathered and the room was filled with absolute silence, everyone was holding hands or praying in their heads to be chosen, but everyone knew that only one could have the lead role.

“First of all we want to thank you for participating in this competition, you have all done amazing” you rolled your eyes, you didn’t have time to listen to a whole sermon, you just wanted to hear your name or leave that place “but after discussing it for a while we have made an important decision” everyone in the room had stopped breathing and you could see some of them closing their eyes.

You hated the wait, the silence was eating you up inside and everything around you seemed to shrink, people seemed to have disappeared and you were alone, there was no one who could help you with the pressure that was taking over you, you were cursing in your mind until suddenly between the fog of thoughts you heard your name.

Everyone turned to look at you and a few applauded, but most just sighed tiredly from the defeat. “Please come forward.” You were still dizzy, but as best you could, you stood up and walked past the judges. The weight of your body vanished when you saw everyone on the other side and you knew it had all been worth it.

You dared to look at them one by one, but when you met Minho’s gaze, you stopped to savor the victory. Minho just narrowed his eyes and smiled. You felt a shiver run through your body when he looked you up and down.

“Please don’t be discouraged,” said one of the judges. “We have something new for this occasion.” The people again became agitated and the whispers became louder and louder. “This time we have decided to give the opportunity to two people.”

“What?!” Your voice wasn't the only one that echoed through the place, everyone was surprised by the new announcement and you didn't know how to react, this had been your chance to shine and now you'll have to share it? People were once again in an uproar and the whispers were getting louder, but your mind could only think of the worst.

“We want to implement a new dynamic” said another of the judges present to calm the people “so the other person will be…” people were once again in an uproar, you closed your eyes praying for a miracle but then you heard it “Lee Minho”

You heard some people sigh, others applaud and shout, but in your mind there was only room for one thought as you saw Minho's triumphant smile approaching. You wanted to run, scream, throw yourself through the window and run away from here, but your feet didn't move, you were static with a lost look while Minho stood next to you.

“It will be a pleasure to work with you, darling,” he whispered to you while the judges were still saying something that you couldn't understand while your heart was pounding hard in your chest wanting to get out, the only thing you wanted at this moment was to wake up from this nightmare.

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You had prepared yourself hours before for this moment, you had arrived about 10 minutes ago, but you couldn't even raise your hand to knock knowing that on the other side was your worst nightmare. You breathed a few more times and counted in your head to do it, but the right moment never seemed to come.

"Damn it" you whispered trying again, you closed your eyes and tried to breathe calmly "one… Two…"

"Just do it" You opened your eyes and turned to that unknown voice, but you would have preferred not to.

Minho was in the hallway leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and a backpack on his shoulders.

"How long have you been there?"

"The same amount of time you've been trying to knock on that door" you sighed and for a moment you felt embarrassed "it's not that hard, you know?"

You weren't going to talk to him if it wasn't necessary and after the small humiliation you finally decided to open the door. The room was empty and you got worried when you heard footsteps behind you, but you didn't turn around to look at him.

You threw your stuff in a corner and sat on the floor, you knew the teacher wouldn't be long in coming so you decided to start stretching.

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Minho in the other corner of the room, his gaze on you was heavy and although you tried to ignore it something inside you made you want to look at him, dare him.

You dared to look at him in the mirror and held his gaze, no words were needed to read the anger in his eyes, you knew he would have preferred to keep the spot for himself too, but you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of giving up your spot just because of his presence.

Before you could say or do anything, the teacher entered the room and began giving them orders. You took a breath and silently prayed that you could survive the rest of the day.

“That’s it” you dropped to the floor as soon as the teacher turned around and walked out the door. You didn’t expect her to be more strict than in class, your feet hurt and your whole body felt tense, but according to her this was nothing more than stretching.

“I don’t understand why they chose you” Minho said suddenly starting his game to annoy you, but you ignored him knowing that it would annoy him more “anyone would do it better than you” you pressed your lips together to hold back the words, but you were starting to feel that little flame inside you start to burn

“Then why aren’t they here?” you answered, unable to hold it in and grabbed your things to leave before you lost control.

You left the room as quickly as possible and ran down the stairs to enter the classroom, where the atmosphere was no better than being alone with Minho. You knew there was hate and envy floating in the air, but you ignored it. You always knew that sometimes people hid their true intentions and you were terrified of hanging out with the wrong person, which is why you preferred to be alone.

The class wasn't the best either and you just left there as soon as your day was over. The way home was long, but you preferred to walk to clear your mind a little, but when you got there you just sighed because you knew no one would welcome you.

Sometimes you just wanted someone to talk to you a little, to accompany you to dinner or to invite you out at night, but all you had was an old cat that only meowed when he saw you arrive, but even so you were all you had and you loved him.

You picked him up in your arms and stroked his head as you threw your things away to head to the kitchen.

“Did you miss me?” the cat purred and you let him go to leave him food that he thanked you for by meowing before eating.

Your night routine was nothing special, eating, bathing, watching your favorite series and going to bed leaving a space in the bed for your cat. You looked at the window and sighed wondering if all your decisions in the past were the best idea, you used to have friends, you got the best grades in university and your parents had been proud of you once. You turned over in bed when you felt your cat and hugged him trying to hold back your tears.

“Do you love me?” the cat meowed and you burst into tears feeling an emptiness in your chest.

You had pursued your dreams, but at what cost?

You had lost everything.

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The next day wasn't any better than the day before, or the next, or the next. The whole week you found yourself stuck in a routine between having to endure seeing Minho's face every day, having to endure the hateful looks of your classmates, and your boring routine at home.

The days didn't seem to get any better and when the teacher finally decided on the choreography they would present you were a little happy.

"Okay, now we'll start the real classes" the teacher proceeded to explain that she had been analyzing them to see their strengths and weaknesses, she made some recommendations and then proceeded to show them the dance floor while she performed each one's part separately. You memorized all the steps you could and went over them in your head "your turn"

You didn't turn to look at Minho and you stood in the center of the dance floor waiting for the music to start playing, but when you felt Minho stand behind you and place a hand on your waist you looked at him in the mirror. He didn't look down and you tensed up a little taking a step forward, but he grabbed you and came close to your ear.

“Don't look at me, darling, I wasn't the one who put the steps”

“Don't call me that” Minho just smiled and before you could say anything else the music started and you just rolled your eyes and focused on dancing.

The times you had to interact with Minho your body would get tense and you couldn't stand to look at him, you looked away somewhere else and just focused on doing it right on your own. The teacher corrected the mistakes and they repeated the choreography over and over again, but that didn't make the experience of dancing with Minho any better.

“Again”

You held back a sigh and closed your eyes, your head was starting to hurt. You got into position and took a breath to endure it all again, even though your legs were burning from the effort you were making.

You felt a look and looked up only to see Minho squinting, you hated the way he looked at you, as if you were a sculpture he didn't understand and tried to decipher, as if his gaze could make him see beyond your head and be able to see your thoughts.

“Stop looking at me”

“You're shaking” you gritted your teeth and just looked away “are you scared?”

The music started to play and you moved to the side following the steps, but when you were close to him again you couldn't stay quiet.

“Scared? Of what exactly?” Minho took your hand and you stood on your toes on one foot while he spun you around “of you?”

“Yes” You rolled your eyes at the same time he let go and you continued dancing until you were facing him.

“Don’t make me laugh” Minho grabbed you by the waist and you let your weight fall back while stretching your arms “I feel nothing for you but hate” you heard a dry laugh

“It must be hard, right?” you raised your eyebrows, but you didn’t stop dancing around him while the music was still playing “I can’t feel hate for you” you missed a step because of his words and you only heard the teacher’s voice in the distance while your thoughts were scrambling in your head, what did that mean?

“You lie”

“I don’t” he said when you crossed in front of him and when you were in front of him again for a second to gain momentum and jump you heard him “the only thing I feel for you is pity”

His words echoed in your mind, you didn’t notice how close the floor was and you stumbled. You fell to your knees, but you didn’t try to get up. His words affected you more than you thought and it made you burn inside

“Get up girl, this isn’t over” the teacher’s voice made you look up, but then someone interrupted in the room “take a break” she said before leaving them

You looked at the floor as Minho’s words echoed over and over in your head. You wanted to throw yourself at him, hit him, yell at him, but instead you just closed your eyes and tried to think of something else.

“You’re pathetic” you looked up, but you didn’t care much until he spoke again “you haven’t done anything to deserve the position”

You wouldn’t let that go unnoticed, he could have said anything else and you would get angry, but he didn’t know all the effort and sacrifice you had made to get here and you wouldn’t let him say that lightly. You stood up and closed the distance, you pushed his chest, but his crooked smile only made you want to hit him with all your might.

"You're nobody to say that," you pointed a finger at his chest as he raised his hands, "you know nothing."

"Do you think that with your miserable efforts you'll reach the top?" The rage inside you was spilling out everywhere and there was nothing that could stop it.

"I've worked hard to be here…" your voice cracked a little, but you continued "But of course, you wouldn't understand… after all, your place was already bought from the beginning" the words were left floating in the air and you noticed how his smile faded, his eyes were two burning black points that would burn the world if they could, but you stayed there, burning with him.

Minho couldn't stand being around you, everything about you made him ignite the anger inside him, your mere presence in the room bothered him, since he saw you dance for the first time he knew it immediately, you were that kind of person that bothered him more than anything in the world, that kind of deluded person that risks everything for their dreams.

“Your efforts are of no use here, darling,” he said suddenly, you clenched the shirt in your fists as he held your hands, “you are pathetic wherever you go,” his voice was filled with hate and you could see it in his eyes, “why don’t you do everyone a favor and go back to where you belong? To that filthy little place…”

His words were choked off before you could allow him to continue, you had freed yourself from his grip and left a mark on his cheek. You weren’t going to let him continue talking badly about you, you had enough with having to share the position, you wouldn’t let him insult you in any other way.

Your eyes were burning and you didn’t know how to speak, so you just pushed him away and got out of there, you ran through the hallways with a pressure in your chest that you already knew. You opened the first door you found and locked yourself in one of the empty rooms before falling again.

You touched your chest and tried to take a breath, but you knew it was useless, that lonely and empty feeling had made itself present and you knew you couldn't do anything to stop it. You stifled a scream deep inside yourself when you remembered his words, everything around you faded away and you let yourself be carried away to the depths of that feeling.

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The hatred for Minho did nothing but grow from that day on, you didn't speak to him if he spoke to you at all and you didn't even bother to look at him anymore. Plus, you were fighting the inner voice in your head that screamed all your doubts about your future.

You had so many other things to think about, like for example the choreography you were dancing, but with everything else you couldn't think clearly and you were making too many mistakes, so much so that the teacher had left a while ago, but Minho insisted on continuing and you simply agreed almost without realizing it.

"To the right" you heard before colliding with Minho "don't you know where your right is?" you rolled your eyes and sighed, you no longer had the spirit to continue doing this, your body was tired and your mind scrambled with a thousand thoughts. Plus, you weren't going to put up with Minho's insults.

You walked around the room and grabbed your things, but before you left the room Minho crossed your path. You looked up angrily and sighed.

“Get away”

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked as you stepped aside and he did the same “this isn’t over”

“It’s over for me” once again he blocked your path and you gritted your teeth

“No” you closed your eyes tired of all this

“I won’t say it again” you warned him pointing your finger at his chest, but that didn’t seem to intimidate him

“You’re not taking this seriously”

“As if that matters to you” you said with venom in every word “after this you can continue as if nothing happened” Minho let out a sigh

“You think so?” you hesitated to answer him for a moment, you didn’t know what he meant, but it seemed like there was something else behind his words, but right now you didn’t care.

“Move” Minho blocked your way again and you were starting to get annoyed again

“We have to do this”

“What if I don’t want to do this? What are you going to do?” Minho stood there and you threw things aside, you pushed his body but he didn’t move “Why are you even doing this? You’ve never had to fight for what you want” you said feeling like everything you had kept inside was starting to emerge “I’m tired of doing everything just for nothing” you said almost like a confession while you were still trying to push him away

“Do you think you’re the only one who has problems?”

“Of course not, but…” you took a breath, this was absurd “do you even know everything I had to go through to get here? Of course not, you don’t know shit” you took a breath and threw out your words before he did it first “I had to give up a good life, with a good career, where I was sure I would make tons of money, I had friends until I found out they were just idiots” your voice started to break as you remembered everything, but you needed to continue, keeping everything to yourself for so long consumed you and you just let it out like a bomb that had been activated and couldn’t be stopped “my parents… they decided to act like I didn’t exist because this path wouldn’t take me anywhere and when I tried to prove them wrong… you appear…” you hit his chest and bowed your head shedding your tears.

Minho had remained silent, he felt uncomfortable and didn’t know what to say or do, he just stood there watching you break down little by little and your eyes spilled the sea of ​​tears that you had held back for so long.

He didn't want to say it and he wasn't going to, but a part of him knew how you felt, he knew that feeling and when you looked up at him he could see it, he could see the emptiness in your eyes and the loneliness inside you, but he couldn't do anything but look at you.

After coming back to reality you realized that you were crying in front of Minho, shame took over you and you just pushed him with all your strength and ran down the hall, you needed to get away from that place, you needed to get away from Minho, get away from all the thoughts that ran through your mind and clouded your vision, but you knew that no matter how hard you ran you had nowhere to go.

With your heart racing, your mind clouded and your vision blurry you managed to reach the stairs, but before you could continue moving forward someone called you, you turned around for a second and saw Minho running after you. You took a wrong step and felt your foot slip.

The last thing you felt was the immense, sharp pain of the blows to your body and foot. When you finished rolling down the stairs, all you could see was the ceiling covered in a bit of darkness. You couldn't move even if you tried. The floor seemed comforting for a moment and you stayed there, right in that position while everything around you seemed to fade away along with everything else.

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You were sitting in one of the many seats in the theater, front row, but you were too small and you just wanted to go home to play, but your mother asked you to be patient. Suddenly the lights went out and you felt a shiver run through your body when you noticed someone walking on the stage and then, the lights turned on focusing on her.

The music started playing and she began to dance, her hands moved delicately and it seemed like her feet made her float in the air. You were left with your mouth open and the whole time you had the feeling of watching the best thing in the world. When everything was over the theater was filled with applause, everyone seemed to admire and adore her.

At that moment you knew, you wanted to be like her.

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Tears were still running from your eyes when you woke up, your head and some parts of your body hurt, you remembered the fall on the stairs and you reacted, but when you sat up you realized you weren't in the academy. You were in a big bed with sheets covering your body and a rag on your head, everything around you was unknown and an alarm went off inside you.

You quickly sat up pushing the sheets, but when you tried to stand up your foot felt a pain that made you fall to the floor. You cursed and grabbed the edge of the bed to stand up again, but when you poked your head out you saw a cat in the middle of the bed that meowed when it saw you, but it made you let out a small cry from the fright.

The door suddenly opened and you stood still when you saw Minho.

“What are you doing on the floor?”

“You? What are you doing here?” Minho raised his eyebrows and a small smile appeared on his face

“It’s my house”

“What?!” You stood up with effort and complained a little about the sharp pain in your foot

“You fell down the stairs” Minho ran his hands through his hair and you noticed that he seemed tired “I… didn’t know what to do” your eyes met for a moment, but the next second you looked away remembering everything that had happened “I don’t know where you live… nobody really does” you bit your lip when you heard it and everything seemed to make sense

You felt embarrassed, thinking that Minho helped you after everything you confessed, but, even so, that didn’t free you from everything he had said about you. You sat on the edge of the bed because of a sharp pain in your foot and looked at your foot.

He was kneeling and you were scared for a moment thinking that you wouldn’t be able to dance, although a part of you was glad about it.

“You’ll be fine in a few days, it’s just a small sprain” Minho said

“How do you know?”

“I’ve been through something similar” you looked at your foot again, you didn’t know how long it would take for the swelling to go down and you sighed “that’s nothing, you’ll be able to walk in a couple of days”

The cat meowed taking you both out of its bubble, Minho approached and picked it up petting it, reminding you of your own cat.

“I have to go” you said hurriedly

“It’s raining” you paid attention for a moment and looked at the window to see that the sky was grey and the glass was full of small drops of water

“Shit” you complained

“You can stay”

“No” you said getting up and trying to take a few steps, but you stumbled, although you didn’t fall “it’s too late”

“Then let me take you home”

“No”

“Are you planning to walk in the rain in that state?” His gaze scanned you from top to bottom and stopped at your aching foot. You gritted your teeth. You knew you couldn’t walk, but you weren’t going to accept Minho doing anything else for you, not after what happened before.

“If I have to crawl home, I will do it just to be away from you.” Minho sighed and let go of the cat as he took a few steps to where you were. You wanted to get away, but you couldn’t and you just looked up.

“Then let me…”

“No, I won’t allow you to keep doing… this,” you said, raising your arms. “I don’t need your mercy, or your help. I can do it alone like I always have.” Minho stood still, looking at you with a strange expression that you couldn’t understand. “Do you expect me to thank you? Is that why you did all this?”

“No” Minho walked away without another word, but before reaching the door he stopped “If you want to leave someone else can take you home, if not, you can crawl home to get away from me” the cat got off the bed and followed him when you heard his last words “but not forever, darling”

The ride home was silent, the driver didn't speak to you besides asking your address but you were grateful for that, you didn't want to talk, you just wanted to get home and lie down on the bed. Although questions about Minho were starting to form in your mind.

When you opened the door a loud meow greeted you and you could only sigh in relief to see your cat. You picked him up and walked through the house to go give him some food.

“I’m sorry baby, I know you’re hungry” you said petting him when he took a big bite of the food “I was… busy” you knew it was absurd to try to explain it to him, but still something inside you needed to get it out “actually… I don’t know what happened” you sat on the floor and spread your legs while petting the feline “I fell down the stairs and then someone… helped me, although I don’t understand why, he didn’t owe me anything” you sighed and looked at the ceiling “he’s… he’s… an idiot, right?” the cat just meowed and kept eating.

That night you couldn’t sleep well, you had very strange dreams where Minho appeared and every time you woke up you hit yourself on the head to make him go away, but you couldn’t do it, plus you felt like his damn scent had stayed with you and you screamed into the pillow when you couldn’t do anything to get rid of it.

You tossed and turned in bed, but nothing could take your thoughts away from Minho and you hated him. You needed to calm down, but anything you thought about reminded you of him. You stared at the ceiling for what seemed like an eternity and when you were finally managing to fall asleep it was when you thought of dark, cold, calculating eyes.

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Your foot still hurt a little, but you could bear it. You arrived early to rehearsal and you were surprised to see the empty room. You stood in the middle of the room for a moment and looked at yourself in the mirror, but you couldn't bear to look at yourself for too long without turning to your thoughts.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. A light melody began to play in your head and as if your body was moving on its own, you began to follow the melody. For a moment, all your worries, thoughts and feelings disappeared.

You let yourself go and danced around the room without any ties. It was just you and the music in your head. You danced for yourself and poured everything you felt into your dance. You felt every fiber move inside you. You felt your arms and legs synchronize to take you away from there and for the first time in a long time, you could feel like you were you again.

When you opened your eyes again, a part of you felt lighter, as if dancing had brought back a part of you that you had abandoned long ago. You smiled, trying to hold back your tears.

“Wow, you know how to dance.” You turned around suddenly only to find Minho leaning against the door frame.

“Fuck you.”

“I mean it.” He walked into the room, but you stayed where you were without taking your eyes off him. “I see you feel better.” He looked you up and down, and a small shiver ran through your body when he stared at you for too long.

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Take this,” he said, handing you a bag, but you didn’t move and raised an eyebrow questioning his action. “It’s for your foot.”

“I don’t want it.” You crossed your arms and looked up. “Do you expect that with this, I’ll forgive you and forget everything you said?”

“I wasn’t the only one who spoke” you felt your cheeks burn a little as you remembered your own words “just take it and that’s it”

“No”

“Why does it bother you so much?” Minho sighed a little tiredly and you noticed the anger in his voice “Is it just because you’re not used to someone caring about you or is it because it’s me?”

Your words drowned in the depths of your chest and you wondered if you had heard correctly. Was he worried? About you? His words floated in your mind for a moment and stirred something inside you. You gritted your teeth and looked away, you didn’t know the answer and you didn’t want to find out right then.

“Just take it” he said annoyed taking your hand and making you hold the bag “and accept it” you were in shock, but you didn’t say anything, Minho walked away from you and left the room before you could say anything.

Once alone again, curiosity made you open the bag only to see a couple of medications and some candy, but among them you saw a chocolate bar and you were left wondering how he knew it was your favorite.

“Idiot” you whispered trying not to smile as you took a small bite.

The days got better, you felt that the rehearsals were more bearable, but you knew that something felt different, something inside you still worried you and made you wonder about the strange change in Minho's behavior. You didn't understand why from one day to the next he started to behave more tolerable with you, he no longer insulted you and he didn't argue with you.

“We're getting closer to the big day, you need to improve a little” the teacher reminded them when they got to the room “you need to give your all, I need you to really give yourselves to the dance, I need you to feel it and transmit it with your movements and your expressions” they both nodded “very well, let's work”

The music started to play throughout the room and you executed your movements automatically. Your arms rose in the air and you tried to endure the little pain that it left you when you stood on your toes.

"They should feel it" you heard the teacher say "transmit it" Minho held you by the waist and lifted your body into the air for a few seconds before meeting you face to face.

His gaze was the same as always, cold with a hint of mysterious darkness, but your body shuddered for a few seconds. He held your arm and guided you with the music through his movements, you focused on continuing to dance and continued spinning and jumping.

The music continued for a while longer, they repeated the choreography a couple more times and you were grateful when someone spoke to the teacher. You went to sit in a corner to catch your breath and check your foot. You sighed in relief when you saw it was okay.

In the distance you saw how Minho lay down on the floor with his limbs stretched out and breathing heavily. You looked at him curiously but quickly undressed your gaze when you noticed that his shirt had risen a little on his abdomen and left a little skin exposed.

You felt your face turn red and you cursed yourself for it, it was just a bit of skin, nothing you hadn't seen before, but somehow it felt different as if it was something forbidden that you weren't supposed to see and yet you looked up again.

His eyes were closed and his breathing had calmed down, it seemed as if he was sleeping, his face was serene and there was no trace of that calculating look, only tranquility.

You looked down a little in fear, but when you saw his toned body something inside you stirred. He had strong arms and his abs were worked.

"I can hear your thoughts up here" you quickly looked away and focused your gaze on the floor

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"Please" Minho turned to his side with one hand holding his head "I can feel your gaze on me the whole time"

"I wasn't looking at you" you said nervously trying to defend yourself. Minho smiled and stood up walking towards you

"Liar" you stood in your place feeling your nerves tickling all over your body "if you want to look at me just say it" you were going to say something to him when you saw how he lifted his shirt a little.

"Nobody wants to see you naked"

"Naked? I didn't say that" Minho made his smile bigger and you pressed yourself against the wall when he was closer "do you want to see me naked?"

"Of course not" you claimed almost screaming, feeling your face burn

You heard a laugh and looked up only to see Minho split in half laughing and… You were surprised. You had never seen him laugh like that, he seemed like another person, there was no trace of the person you hated and for a moment you stared at him.

"idiot" you said standing up, you gave him a little push when you passed by him, but he took your hand. When you turned around he wasn't laughing anymore, he was staring at you and you felt a chill

"I have something for you" he reached into one of your pants pockets and pulled out a small chocolate wrapper. You stared at him and didn't know if you should take it, but last time he made you do it so you did it fearfully with a question on the tip of your tongue.

"Why?" Minho seemed to understand and just shrugged his shoulders "why are you doing all this?" You raised your hands tired of trying to figure out his behavior "do you expect me to forgive you?"

"No"

"Then why?" You didn't want to break down in front of him again and you held back your emotions before they got out of control, but a small part of you remembered his words and you couldn't help but say them "is it because of pity?"

"No" He said raising his voice, he lowered his head and sighed heavily "it's just that…" Your eyes met for a moment, but this time it was different, you could see a little beyond the darkness and you perceived something different "I know what it feels like to be completely alone"

You were confused, you didn't know what to say, there was no answer to his words, now you only felt a great emptiness in your chest. Lee Minho, the person you always hated and envied was in front of you showing you a part of him that you didn't know.

"I…"

"Don't say anything" he interrupted you "just… take care of yourself" and so, confused and scared he left you in the middle of the dance hall with an unknown feeling in your chest.

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The days passed faster than you expected, with all the change in Minho's attitude and the fact that he didn't treat you badly anymore, the day of the competition came too soon. They hadn't stopped practicing and even though you tried to hide it, the nerves were starting to show, but you tried to hide it.

"You've worked very hard" said the teacher when she gave you a little break "but tomorrow you must give your all, mind, soul and body" you rolled your eyes, she had repeated the same thing for the last three days and you were sure of what she would say next, without paying attention to the teacher you looked away at Minho who also looked a little tired of the same thing, but when your eyes met he smiled and moved his mouth saying exactly the same thing as the teacher "you must be one" You almost spat out the water and coughed to catch your breath, but the teacher noticed it anyway. You looked at the ground trying to contain the smile on your face, even though you knew that was a stupid thing to do “okay, let’s continue”

You got into your usual position, you were ready and when the music started playing you did what you did best. Minho’s warm hand on your waist was already familiar but you still held your breath.

“You’re nervous” he said before you moved to the side to follow his steps

“Nervous? Me?” Minho took your hand and you stood on one foot on your toes as he spun you around “in the morning?”

“no” You rolled your eyes as he let go and continued dancing until you were facing him.

“I'm not nervous” Minho took you by the waist and you let your weight fall back while you stretched your arms and he held your weight with his arms, when you stood up again you found his face very close to yours

“I know you” his words distracted you for a moment and you heard the teacher's voice in the distance, you continued with the dance and when you were in front of him again you couldn't help but stay silent

“You don't know anything about me” you answered when you passed in front of him. When you placed your hands on his shoulders Minho took you by the waist and lifted you up.

“Of course I do” Minho replied as he set you down and spun you around “I know you don’t have any friends” you remained serious despite his words, but the continued “I know you live alone and apart from others out of fear” your body tensed up, but you continued moving around the room anyway

You moved away from him to do your jump and you were happy that it went perfectly, you stood still, waiting for Minho to finish the choreography and when his hands hooked around your waist you couldn’t help but tense up.

This moment was always weird, it felt like something intimate because after that he had to lean down and pretend to kiss you, even though they had never done it, he always hid your body with his and you just stayed held by his arms looking at his face.

“I know that despite everything you still pursue your dreams” he said at the end and you held your breath as you watched him get closer and closer

“Perfect” said the teacher taking you both out of the bubble in which you had been trapped for a moment “that is exactly what I want you to do tomorrow”

Minho sat up with you and you finally moved away from him. The teacher was saying something, but you were only aware of your burning body where Minho’s hands had touched you. You hated that he had that effect on you lately, it was not something normal, but you did not want to admit it.

“Well, then get some rest,” the teacher said, “you need all your energy for tomorrow.”

You hurried to grab your things and leave the room before Minho, you couldn’t keep looking at him without questioning things you didn’t want to admit and all of that was so absurd when you remembered how you had treated each other at the beginning, whatever you were starting to feel had to be a product of the pressure of the competition, you just had to wait until the next day for this to disappear.

You were about to leave the place when you stopped at the entrance when you noticed it was raining, you rolled your eyes and cursed silently as you mentally prepared yourself for the race you would make to your house, but when you were about to run someone took your hand. You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was, but you did anyway.

“What's wrong?”

“You're going to get wet,” Minho said seriously, still holding your hand.

“It's just a little water,” you said, trying to escape the feeling that formed in your stomach.

“You could get sick.”

“What do you want?” you asked, a little irritated and upset. “I need to get home.”

“I can take you home,” you bit your lips as you thought about his proposal. You saw the rain falling and thought about it again. Your house was far away, so you just sighed.

“Okay,” Minho seemed to smile, and before he could say anything else, he took your hand and ran to where his car was. He opened the door for you, and you got in without thinking twice. Minho got in right away, and you noticed some drops falling down his hair and some others sliding down his face.

There was something mesmerizing about watching him, and you bit your lips as he ran his fingers through his hair. You looked away, realizing that some drops had stuck to you, too. Minho's gaze rested on you for a second and you noticed how his eyes seemed to follow the trail of some drop that spilled from your forehead and passed over your lips where it was lost on your neck and under your neckline.

You shifted in your seat and when his eyes returned to yours you felt a shiver run down your spine, you couldn't understand it but you knew that he was hiding something beyond his gaze, something that you couldn't understand but that made you shudder and want to know what was beyond.

You didn't realize your labored breathing until Minho approached you putting his arm over your head and you held your breath when you felt his breath near your lips, his eyes were on yours and you could swear that time stopped, but when you saw his hand return with the seat belt something in you felt disappointed and you cursed for thinking that he would try something else, but you hated yourself a little more for thinking about something like that and not disliking the idea.

“Safety first” he said jokingly, but you just nodded, staring straight ahead as he started the car.

The ride was silent and you felt the weight of tension with every second that passed without talking, no matter how much you looked outside and tried to focus on something else your eyes always strayed to his hands holding the wheel. You needed to get out of there before your mind drifted to places you didn't want.

The rain seemed to get worse with every minute and by the time you got to your house it seemed dangerous so you invited him in thinking he would leave but now you were in the living room, silent and with nothing to talk about. You hoped everything would calm down but your insides didn't seem to want to. You were hyper aware of Minho's presence and you could even swear you could hear his heartbeat, or maybe it was yours, you didn't know anymore but you wanted all this to end even if it meant getting away from Minho again.

You got up to make tea and forget your thoughts. There were so many things you wanted to say, but you didn't know how to do it, you didn't know if the words would destroy the strange relationship you had built, a kind of friendship where you supported each other for a common good, although you knew that inside there was something more.

“Do you think this will stop?” his words brought you out of your thoughts and you looked up

“It has to stop” you said almost begging for it to stop, but the drops still fell heavily down the windows and didn't seem to want to go away for a long time

Silence reigned again in the small space and you took your hands determined to say something, but then Minho spoke again.

“I’ve been thinking about something” you turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow

“Wow… I didn’t know you could do that” you heard a laugh and you smiled at the sight

“I do it often, in case you were wondering”

“So… what are you thinking about?” you asked curious and nervous at the same time

“Me, you, us” you stopped what you were doing, trying to analyze if you were starting to go deaf

“Us?” you turned around again and noticed that Minho had stood up and was slowly approaching where you were

“I know I’ve been an idiot before” with each word he got closer and you tried to back away until you found yourself at the kitchen counter “maybe I still am, but now I know I’ve done things wrong” Minho was left only a few steps away from you “I’m sorry”

“What?”

“Don’t make me say it twice,” he said jokingly, but when he saw that you weren’t smiling, he repeated it without hesitation. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” you asked nervously, still stunned, not understanding his words.

“For everything, I’ve treated you badly and said things that weren’t right.” You gritted your teeth as you remembered the words that had been engraved in your mind. “The truth is, I… was jealous of you.”

“Jealousy?” Minho sighed heavily and lowered his head in shame. “What are you talking about?”

“I always saw you rehearse over and over again, I saw you give yourself completely to music without any effort, I… I can't do that and everyone kept reminding me of it, that's why every time I saw you I…” he lowered his head to catch his breath and hide the shame that all this caused him, but he got a little closer to where you were “I… wanted what you had” he raised his head again and you froze when you saw his eyes lit up by what looked like tears “I felt miserable and useless seeing all the effort you made and I could only get here with money, I know I'm not good at this and I still try, that's why I was jealous, that's why I turned everything into hate” you were frozen by his confession, the words had gotten stuck in your chest, there was nothing you could say and you just stayed trying to process everything

“I thought you… hated me” Minho let out a tired laugh

“I hated you, I hated your talent, but... hating you doesn’t serve me anymore… I can’t hate you anymore” he said ignoring you “but… all this…” he opened his mouth but it seemed like the words were stuck in his chest and he was struggling to get them out “this… absurd and useless feeling for you is killing me”

“What… are you talking about?” your voice shook with each word, your heart was agitated, you knew there was something floating in the air that you tried to ignore.

Minho sighed and looked at the ceiling, he reached his hand to your face, but stopped before doing so, as if doing so would hurt him.

“I… you…” he closed his eyes and lowered his hand, clenching his fingers into a fist “I can’t spend another second with you without my entire body wanting you, every time I see you I lose my breath, I can’t stop thinking about you, your eyes, your smile” his fingers lengthened a little and very gently caressed your cheek “everything about you drives me crazy and I can’t spend another second with this inside me”

All you could hear were the raindrops hitting the windows, the air didn't seem to be enough anymore and you could feel a pressure on your chest. You couldn't stop thinking about his words, a part of you wanted to scream at him, tell him he was lying, that it was a stupid joke, you wanted him to leave and never see him again, but there was something else, something inside you that was taking over you and you couldn't contain it.

“Minho” it was the first time you called him by his name, and he seemed to react to your voice like a scared dog “I… I don’t know what to say, this is all so confusing” you looked up at where he was “I thought you hated me, I… I hated you too, I hated the way you walked down the halls and the way you stood out everywhere… your stupid temper and the damn way you dance… you, you caught everyone with your dance and I can’t do that… but now that doesn’t matter… because I can’t hate you either, not anymore”

Everything went silent, the raindrops were a distant noise, but you could still hear your heartbeat in your chest. Minho walked to where you were and this time he didn’t stop, he took your face and looked into your eyes just like he always had, without fear and with curiosity, but now there was something else, something you had no doubts about, he looked at you with love.

“Give me one reason not to kiss you right now,” you held your breath and let go of the fear in your chest with every word he said. “Tell me to leave and that you don’t want to see me again. Ask me for anything and I will do it. Because you have my heart hanging in your hands now. It’s all yours and you can do whatever you want with it. Destroy it, mold it, design it, love it… my heart belongs to you now… and so do I.”

“Minho… please kiss me.”

It wasn’t a soft, slow kiss. It was a desperate, anxious one that reflected all of your confused and jumbled emotions inside. It was a hot kiss, full of everything you both had dragged along until now. You could feel your heart beating hard, but you ignored it and just focused on his kisses, on the way his hands seemed to tremble on your waist and the way his lips ran over every part of your mouth.

You lost yourself completely in him, you let yourself go and forgot about everything you ever questioned, there were no doubts anymore, there were no ties, there were no secrets, they were just two people who opened their hearts and now they were feeling it.

Minho's mouth was desperate, his hands slowly ran up your body, but you just wanted him to hurry up, to calm that fire inside you that had started to burn. You took his hands and placed them on your breasts without fear, you wanted him, you needed him and you didn't mind admitting it.

You moaned his name when his mouth slid down your jaw to your neck and your fingers tangled in his hair. Minho pressed his hands to your chest and you threw your head back moaning at the feeling of his hands on you. His mouth continued down to the neckline of your blouse and before he did anything he looked up with a silent question and you just nodded desperately. He put his hands underneath and got rid of your blouse, throwing it away along with your bra, freeing your breasts where his mouth settled, making you shudder.

Your hands moved down his body, touching every part of him, and you heard him let out a gasp when you touched him above his crotch. You slipped your hands under his shirt and took it off to admire his bare chest.

You stood still for a second, appreciating each other's half-naked bodies. Minho licked his lips before attacking your mouth again. His hands squeezed your ass before unbuttoning your pants, leaving a trail of kisses from your abdomen to your thighs.

Your breathing was agitated with the slightest touch of his mouth on your skin, his mouth leaving kisses on your thighs and you held your breath as you saw how his fingers hooked the edge of your panties and left you uncovered.

His hands caressed your thighs and slowly moved closer to your core where you moaned at the feel of his fingers on your wet pussy, his thumb searched for your clit and you saw him smile when you shuddered. He moved his finger slowly in circles and you could feel how you were getting wetter and wetter.

You didn't realize when your legs opened more, but when you felt Minho's mouth on you, you moaned his name holding his hair as he buried his tongue in you.

You turn your head back and let yourself be caught by the burning sensation running through your veins, his tongue on your clit makes your legs tremble, but when you feel his fingers near your entrance a shiver runs through your entire body. You look down for a moment to beg him, but before you can Minho slides a finger inside you and you moan his name.

“Minho… I…” you can’t finish the sentence, he slides another of his fingers in and curls them touching a sensitive part inside while his tongue moves over your clit. The fire inside you burned strong, you couldn’t hold it back any longer and you let it consume you completely.

Your legs were shaking and your breathing was labored when Minho stood up. He held you tightly by the waist and wore that triumphant smile on his face that you had previously hated, but now found attractive.

“Darling… you taste divine”

“Shut up” you claimed embarrassed

“Shut me up” you approached his lips and kissed him hard tasting yourself on his lips.

You pressed your body against his and felt his hardening on your belly, you stifled a moan in his mouth when Minho grabbed your legs and lifted your body.

“I'll take you right here if you don't tell me where the bed is.”

“Upstairs.” Minho didn't wait any longer and took you to your room where he left you on the bed while still kissing you as he took off his pants and boxers, leaving his cock free.

He placed himself on top of you and you stirred as you felt the tip of his cock caress your clit. Minho took his cock and placed it at your entrance, still looking at you, again with a question in his eyes.

“Min… I need you.”

Minho moved his hips slowly and you arched your back as you felt his cock stretch you and hit rock bottom. He placed his hands on either side of your head and kissed you, staying in that position for a moment, feeling your walls enveloping him.

From one moment to the next his hips moved back leaving only the tip of his cock inside and then he moved again making you moan over and over again with each thrust.

Your mouth kept saying his name, all you could feel was his body on yours and his kisses on your neck while you felt his breath on you. You had your legs around his waist and your hands around his back marking his skin with your nails with each push of his hips.

Your body was burning and you knew you wouldn’t last much longer if he continued like this, but suddenly Minho sat up and before you could say anything he took your legs and placed them on his shoulders bending you in half like a doll, but this new position made him go deeper and you moaned at the feeling.

“You should see yourself with my eyes darling… you’re magnificent”

“Minho… shut up and fuck me” you heard him let out a laugh before pushing hard and biting the inside of one of your thighs.

The new position made you feel everything more intensely and you could feel a knot in your belly that you couldn't hold back any longer, your legs trembled and Minho noticed.

“What's wrong darling?” He asked mockingly as he saw how you held the sheets and how your back was arching, you wanted to talk but the only thing that came out of you were moans of pleasure announcing your orgasm “a little more, I know you're a good girl”

His words only made you squeeze his cock tighter and that made him lose himself in his own ecstasy so he continued praising you.

“Are you going to cum around my cock?” you nodded desperately and Minho only leaned in closer to kiss you “do it… cum for me”

You obeyed him and let yourself be carried away by the pleasure that ran through your body at the same time that you felt Minho's release inside you and how it ran down your legs when he released you from his grip.

You could feel your unbridled heart beating at the same time as Minho's who was on top of you. At that moment they were one and the same and something inside you finally felt calm.

You closed your eyes and stayed that way for so long that you didn't realize you fell asleep until you opened your eyes again. Minho was next to you and his arms were around your body covered by some sheets.

"Sleep darling" you heard him say

"I don't think I can" you said snuggling into his chest hugging him back

"We have a competition to win, you better rest" he gave you a kiss on the forehead and that was enough to go back to sleep, taking away the feeling of emptiness you had before.

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Your nerves could get the better of you at any moment, you kept pacing back and forth and there was nothing that could calm you down, not even the teacher's encouraging words, not Minho's compliments, not even the voice in your head. You had never been so nervous and you knew the reason.

You had decided to invite your parents at the last minute thinking they wouldn't go, but when they said they would give you a chance everything inside you went off the rails. This could be a new beginning for your relationship if everything went well or maybe things could end up the same, anyway, it was too late to regret it.

Minho was serious, he was worried about your condition and he was afraid you would have an anxiety attack, so he was behind you all the time, but that only made you more nervous.

“Stop that” you said turning around and facing him

“I’m not doing anything”

“You’re following me” you said raising your voice, making the people around you look in your direction for a moment “I’m sorry”

“It’s okay, you’re nervous”

“Of course I’m nervous” you bit your nails to keep from crying, but Minho took your hands and you looked up into his eyes.

“Just breathe a little” you took a breath and your chest seemed to calm down a little “that’s it… everything will be okay okay?” you nodded not very sure of his words “we’ll go in there and the world will go to shit, it’ll just be you and me… okay?”

“Yes” You approached to kiss him, but you saw the teacher in the distance and you moved away from Minho as far as you could without knowing why

“It's your turn” the nerves returned to your body, but you tried to smile when the teacher pushed them close to the curtain, where the other people waited and watched the couple's presentation on stage “you are the best, you know it” said the teacher when the lights went out and left the stage free “prove it”

You closed your eyes for a moment trying to leave everything behind, as you always did when you danced, until you felt a hand take yours to move forward. You opened your eyes to look at Minho, his gaze was no longer cold or calculating as before, now it was warm and loving, you were no longer alone.

You walked forward together to the stage and got into position, you felt the thousands of eyes on you, but there were only a few that mattered to you and were in front of you.

“Let’s do this” you heard him say before the music started and everything around you stopped mattering.

You gave yourself completely to the music, all your movements synchronized with Minho’s and for the first time you understood the teacher’s words. Together you danced and gave your body, mind and soul to the stage, you let yourself be carried away by the melody and you felt your body flow with ease, with every jump you made, every movement, every turn, everything was perfect.

You could only hear your heartbeat, the music had long since gone, and the looks of the people no longer mattered, you could only focus on bright eyes full of love and desire.

Minho took you by the waist and lifted you up before leaning over you to finish the choreography, but this time you didn’t stop him from coming closer, you didn’t move away and you took his face and kissed him at the same time that the lights went out and the applause resonated throughout the theater.

“I love you” you heard him say and that was all you heard.

You knew someone would see them if they just opened the door, but you didn't care. His mouth was fiercely devouring yours as you held onto the small table in the place where they had decided to hide. His kisses were leaving you breathless, but you continued to taste his lips.

You felt the fire run through your veins and you let out a small moan when his hands ran down your bare legs until they squeezed your thighs.

"Min…" you moaned in his ear as his mouth slid down your jaw to your neck.

"Give me a reason not to rip your clothes off right now" he said running his hands down your wet center and you shuddered at the feel. You looked into his eyes for a moment

"Do it"

Minho ripped off your clothes and touched you with his fingers, the adrenaline from the dance was still running through your body and it excited you to think that someone could come in and see them, but the excitement after finishing their performance was so much that they ran to the first dressing room they found to get naked.

You moaned when his fingers touched your center and found your clit, his mouth fiercely attacked your neck and you felt his teeth on your skin, but you didn't need that, you wanted to feel him inside you.

Desperate, you pushed him away a little and Minho looked at you surprised when you pushed him to the small sofa that was there while you moved forward and took off the rest of your clothes, at the same time he did the same.

You climbed onto his lap and took him by the shoulders moving your hips feeling his cock on your wet pussy. Minho threw his head back and grabbed your thighs.

“Shit, Darling…” you didn’t let him finish his sentence as you grabbed his cock and sank down on it making him moan “someone… might see us”

“Then you better do this quickly” you said agitatedly moving your hips up and down marking the rhythm.

Minho grabbed your thighs and squeezed your skin tightly as he felt you bounce on him over and over again, he couldn't stop himself from kissing your breasts and biting your nipples to hear your own moans.

You were so immersed in each other that you had forgotten about everything that was happening outside the doors until after a while you stopped moving out of exhaustion, but Minho grabbed your hips and moved his up to continue until you felt your insides heat up from Minho's release.

You collapsed on his chest and smiled as you heard his heartbeat as he caressed your hair. Everything was calm and quiet until you heard your names over the speakers in the place.

“Did we win?” you asked bewildered hearing the applause of the people “we should go”

“Maybe” he said when you looked up and tried to move, but he held you back “but everything I care about is here”

“You're a fucking romantic”

“And you love it”

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EPILOGUE

"Don't you dare open your eyes" you heard Minho say as he led you through who knows where, nerves running through your body and you didn't know what he had in store but you were sure it wouldn't top your anniversary gift.

"I'm scared" you confessed with a nervous laugh

"Do you trust me?"

"No" Minho let go of your hands and you searched for him until his hands took your waist and made you move forward a little more between laughs

"You lie"

"Maybe" you felt a warm kiss on your temple and his hands leaving your body

"Wait here" he said before you heard his steps walk away

"No… Minho" you stood still for a moment until the nerves took over you and made you restless "Minho, this is not funny" with labored breathing you took off the blindfold from your eyes but you couldn't see anything, it was dark "Minho… I swear I'm going to…"

Suddenly the lights turned on and you held your breath when your vision adjusted to the place. Your eyes filled with tears when you saw Minho coming towards you again.

"Happy wedding anniversary"

"But… what is this?" you asked as he handed you some keys

"It's what you asked for" he said hugging you "your own dance studio, here you can dance, show others your incredible talent, it's all yours"

You couldn't hold back your tears any longer and hugged him back burying your face in his neck.

"Don't cry darling, it will ruin your makeup" you laughed a little before wiping your tears and hitting him in the chest

"I hate you"

"I love you too" he said before kissing you in the same place where you met.

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IF YOU LIKE IT PLEASE REBLOG

-> @cultofdionysusnet

Tag list: @zuuhaaa @T.leeknowsaurus @lilol @kissesmellow21  @melanctton @queenmea604

Divider: @fairytopea

[sterredem]

Obsessed

Oscar Piastri x singer!reader

Face claim Olivia Rodrigo

Warning stalking (online), not proofread, Speling mistakes

Summary y/n is obsessed with her boyfriend’s ex.

A/n We are just gonna say that Lilly’s account is public… so that everything makes sense.

Also this may be more of a Lilly x reader the an Oscar one… it’s also a bit short… and this is probably the only fic you’ll get in a bit

Instagram

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F1.Gossip BREAKING NEWS: Our favourite young couple, Oscar Piastri and Lilly Zneimer has reportedly broken up! After their 4 years and a bit realation the couple found out that they where better of as friends then being together. Many hard are broken after hearing this news, but they claim that they are still friends. We wish them both the best with their careers, and we with them the best in future relationships.

View all 2.234 comments

User1 NOOOOOOOOO😭😭😭😭

User2 I don’t believe in love anymore😭😭

User3 WHYYY?!?!💔

User4 Hearts ♥️ been. Broken 💔 Too. Many. Times ⏳😭😭

User5 MY FAVROUTE COUPLE😭😭😢

User6 Why am I so upset at a couple that I don’t even know😭😭

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Twitter

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Time skip

Twitter

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Real life

Y/n knew she was crazy. It was actually sociopathic what she was doing. She was stalking her boyfriend’s ex girlfriend.

And not stalking stalking. She was not following her in real life… just on social media.

She was just going through the girls instagram photos, looking up everything about her, wanting to know everything that there is about the girl.

Beside that she was also looking at old Twitter threads, shortly after the break up was leaking by a gossip account F1 Twitter went crazy, they loved the couple. They made comments upon comments expressing their hard break at the news, they also still make post dedicated to Lilly and her achievements. And it tore the singer apart.

And she has to admit; lily is perfect.

And that was the worst ever.

Lilly was sweet, good with kids, talented, smart, funny, gorgeous and genuine. And maybe even far better than herself.

She now knew almost everything about her: her star sign, her blood type, her family, hot what school she goes to and on what class she was in. She knows that she slept on her side of Oscar’s bed (which didn’t make her feel good). And other things that Oscar had told her, with them knowing each other and being friends while they were dating and him finding comfort in her after the break up.

And she knows it was crazy; they broke up. They don’t even speak anymore! But still, every time he says her name, Y/n can’t help but think that he mistakes herself for his ex.

So she has to admit, she is jealous.

She always knew she had some kind of a problem, but this?

She thought about Lilly 24/7. If you knew how much she thought about the girl, you’d think she was in love.

And if you’d know how much she looked at her pictures, you’d think that they were best friends.

And that was the moment she realised: she was Obsessed with Lilly Zneimer, her boyfriend’s ex.

And not obsessed in a normal way, she wasn’t just jealous of the amazing girl, no.

She had a had a whole white board dedicated to her: all the things she liked, the things she did, the clothes she white (thanks to the fan accounts), the people she hangs out with, her hobby’s, her go to food places, everything.

She was really going crazy.

Not that Oscar knew, of course he didn’t. If he did he would break up with her for her sociopathic behaviour.

After realising that, she knew there were few things she could do.

So she walked through the house to her music room, she sat down, and begin writing.

She needed to stop with the obsession, and the only way for that was music.

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by LillyZneimer and 2.964.624 others

Yourusername SUPRISE! My new song ‘obsessed’ is out now! The music video will be out midnight est!!

Thank you @DanielNigro With working with me on this!

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OscarPiastri Excuse me??

OscarPiastri Why didn’t I know?

Yourusername …suprise…?

SabrinaCarpenter AMAZING (but also…?)

GracieAbrams Another banger!!

Laufey The best song ever!

Conangray Girl, check your msg

User7 HUH??

User8 This ganre swich is INSANE! but I love the rock!

User9 Dare I say that this is about… Lilly

User10 Y/n in her stalking era

User11 Nit Lilly liking this😭😂

User12 The aesthetic😍

User13 Oscar didn’t know??

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

212.543 likes

Celeberty.Gossip After recent speculations that Y/n Y/l/n’ new song ‘obsessed’ is about Lilli Zneimer (Oscar Piastri’s ex girlfriend) The pair was seen hanging out and shopping together. Is the song about someone else? Is there a sudden new friendship? What is going on?

View all 3.765 comments

User1 OMG?!

User2 the line about them being best friends?

User3 Or about them being in love??

User4 I don’t know what’s going on but I love it!

User5 They look very good (together)

User6 I ship…

|———————————<3—————————————|

No part 2… open ending!!

[mattsobvimyfav]

American Wedding (Matthew Sturniolo)

I wasn’t supposed to be there. The uneven steps of the house felt foreign under my feet, and the thick, musky smell of weed hit me before I even reached the door. My heart pounded in my chest, but I forced myself to act like I belonged. If anyone found out I was here, it’d be a disaster—Miss Perfect wandering into a trap house wasn’t exactly on-brand.

I pushed the door open, trying not to flinch as it creaked loudly. Inside, the room was dim, lit only by a flickering TV in the corner and the red glow of a single bulb. People lounged on sagging couches, some of them laughing, others looking like they were two seconds away from passing out.

That’s when I saw him.

He was sitting on the arm of a couch, head tipped back, exhaling a cloud of smoke like he didn’t have a single care in the world. His dark hair was messy, his jaw sharp, and the way he held himself screamed confidence—or maybe indifference. Either way, I couldn’t help but stare.

I recognized him immediately. Matt. We went to school together, though we’d never exchanged more than a passing glance. He wasn’t in my world. He was the guy who skipped class, leaned against his car in the parking lot, and somehow he, out of all people in the world, caught my attention.

“Hey,” I said, stepping further into the room. My voice came out steadier than I expected.

He looked at me, one eyebrow raising lazily. “What do you want?”

“To buy,” I said, trying to sound casual, though the words felt foreign in my mouth. “Weed.”

A smirk tugged at his lips, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You lost or something?”

“No,” I said quickly, my cheeks flushing. “I just… I think we go to school together.”

“Cool,” he said, dismissively, already looking away like the conversation was over.

Something about his indifference annoyed me. I wasn’t used to being brushed off, but I wasn’t going to back down, either. “Do you always ignore people who want to give you money?”

That made him glance back at me. For a second, I thought I saw the tiniest flicker of amusement in his expression, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

“You new to this or something?” he asked, his tone teasing.

I shrugged, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing me squirm. “So what? Are you gonna sell me some or just stand there and act like you’re some hot shit that can't sell to me?”

That got a real laugh out of him—a low, rough sound that made my stomach flip in a way I didn’t expect.

“Alright,” he said, standing and motioning for me to follow him.

I trailed behind him into another room, trying to ignore the curious looks from the others lounging around. When he handed me the small baggie, I hesitated.

“Want to smoke?” I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He looked at me, actually looked at me this time, like he was trying to figure me out. Finally, he smirked again, a little slower this time.

“Sure,” he said, sitting back down and patting the spot next to him.

I hesitated for a second before sitting down next to him, my heart racing. I felt so out of place here, like I’d stepped into someone else’s life by mistake. The couch was lumpy and smelled faintly of sweat and old smoke, but I tried to act like I was perfectly at ease.

“So,” he said, leaning back and eyeing me. “Have you ever actually smoked before, or is this just some dare to make your boring little life more exciting?”

I bristled, though I couldn’t entirely deny the accusation. “What makes you think I haven’t smoked before?”

He raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening. “Because you’re sitting there like you’re waiting for someone to tell you what to do.”

I hated how accurate that was. Crossing my arms. “Fine. I haven’t. But how hard can it be?”

Matt chuckled, shaking his head. “Figures.” He pulled a pack of rolling papers and a bag of weed from his pocket, his movements slow and deliberate. “Alright, princess, consider this your crash course.”

I glared at him. “Don’t call me that.”

He ignored me, setting the paper down on the coffee table and sprinkling the weed on top. “First, you don’t pack it too tight, or you won’t get a good pull. You want it even, but not smushed.”

I watched as his fingers moved deftly, rolling the paper into a perfect cylinder before licking the edge to seal it. He made it look so easy, and for a moment, I was distracted by how skilled he was at something so... unconventional.

He held up the blunt with a small flourish. “And there you have it. You're very first blunt.”

He grabbed a lighter and sparked it up, taking a long drag before passing it to me. “Alright, Princess. Moment of truth.”

I hesitated, staring at the burning tip like it might bite me. “What if I do it wrong?”

He smirked, leaning back with that maddeningly cocky expression. “You will. But it’ll be funny, so go ahead.”

Rolling my eyes, I put the blunt to my lips, trying to mimic what I’d seen in movies. I inhaled too hard, and immediately, my throat burned like I’d swallowed fire. I coughed violently, doubling over as my eyes watered.

Matt chuckles lowly. “That was even better than I thought. You looked like you were trying to vacuum it up.”

I glared at him through watery eyes, my voice hoarse. “You’re the worst.”

He grinned, his expression softer now. “Relax. Just take a small pull this time, and don’t hold it so long.”

I tried again, this time managing a smaller inhale. It still burned, but not as badly, and I exhaled quickly, watching the smoke curl in the air.

“There you go,” he said, nodding in approval.

For a moment, I felt a flicker of pride, ridiculous as it was. I passed the blunt back to him, my head already starting to feel a little lighter.

“So,” he said, taking another drag and exhaling slowly. “What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this anyway? Don’t you have some cheerleading practice or letting that douche bag boyfriend of yours in your pants?”

I froze, his words hitting me like a slap to the face. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I asked, my voice sharper than I intended.

Matt took another drag, exhaling lazily as if he couldn’t be less bothered by my reaction. “I mean your boyfriend,” he said, his tone casual but edged with something I couldn’t quite place. “He’s been here a few times. Comes around for a little pick-me-up, you know?”

I was confused because he had never told me he smoked. “What are you talking about? He doesn’t smoke.”

Matt smirked, flicking ash onto the floor. “Nah, not weed. He’s more of a powder guy.”

I stared at him. “You’re lying.”

“Am I?” he said, leaning forward slightly. “Every time he’s here, he doesn’t shut up about you. Says the only reason he’s sticking around is to get in your pants. Real prince charming, that one.”

His words hung in the air, heavy and bitter. I waited for the anger or hurt to bubble up, but all I felt was… nothing.

I shrugged, looking away. “Whatever.”

“Whatever?” Matt echoed, his brow furrowing. “That’s all you’ve got? The guy’s trashing you, and you just brush it off like it’s nothing?”

“What do you want me to say?” I asked, meeting his gaze. “It’s not like I care about him.”

He frowned, tilting his head as if he was trying to read my mind. “Then why the hell are you with him?”

I hesitated, then shrugged again. “Because it’s easy. Everyone thinks we’re perfect together. He makes me look good, and I don’t have to explain myself to anyone. It keeps things simple.”

Matt let out a low laugh, but there was no humor in it. “Simple? That’s the most messed-up thing I’ve heard—and trust me, that’s saying something.”

I rolled my eyes, snatching the blunt back from him. “You wouldn’t get it.”

“You’re right,” he said, leaning back and crossing his arms. “I don’t get it. You’re sitting here, acting like you’ve got it all figured out, but you’re miserable. So why keep pretending?”

His question hit a nerve, and I took a long drag, letting the smoke fill my lungs before exhaling slowly. “Because it’s what people expect from me,” I said quietly.

Matt didn’t say anything for a while, just studied me with those sharp, unreadable eyes of his. Finally, he shook his head, a small smirk tugging at his lips. “You’re a piece of work, you know that?”

“Yeah,” I said, handing the blunt back to him. “I know.”

Today was the last day of school. The hallways were buzzing with energy, everyone laughing and shouting about summer plans, but Matt and I didn’t exchange so much as a glance.

We hadn’t for two weeks, not since the first time I walked in to buy weed off of him. At school, it was like we didn’t even know each other. I’d walk past him in the hall, surrounded by my friends, and he’d be leaning against his locker, half-listening to whatever his crew was talking about. He didn’t look at me, and I didn’t look at him.

It was safer that way.

To the outside world, I was still floating through my perfect little life with my perfect little image. And Matt was still the guy everyone whispered about in the hallways, the one parents warned their kids to stay away from. If anyone had even the faintest clue about what I’d been doing—who I’d been with—it would’ve blown everything up.

But after school, in that smoky, hidden room, none of that mattered.

Maybe it was the buzz of summer in the air or the fact that the routine we’d fallen into was about to change. Whatever it was, I couldn’t sit still in that room for long.

“I don’t want to just sit here,” I blurted, breaking the comfortable silence we’d settled into.

Matt glanced at me, exhaling a cloud of smoke. “You’re restless today.”

“It’s the last day of school,” I said, kicking at the leg of the coffee table. “Feels like we should do something. Something different.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Different, huh? Like what?”

“Swimming,” I said. The idea popped into my head as soon as the word left my mouth. “There’s this hotel downtown. I can book us a room with my dad’s card, and we can hang out, order food, hit the pool.”

Matt stared at me for a long moment, like he was trying to figure out if I was joking. Then he smirked, shaking his head. “You’re serious.”

“Completely,” I said, sitting up straighter.

He took another drag from the blunt, his gaze locked on me. “Alright, but only if you break up with your boyfriend first.”

The words didn’t shock me. We hadn’t talked about my boyfriend, not since the first day I came here and he told me what he’d heard. But I knew Matt hated the thought of me sneaking off to him after we hung out, even if it wasn’t like that.

I pulled out my phone without hesitation, typing the words quickly before I could second-guess myself. Hey, it’s over. Don’t text me.

I hit send, shoving the phone back in my pocket before looking at him. “Done.”

Matt leaned back, his smirk widening into a grin. “Didn’t think you had it in you, princess.”

“Guess I’m full of surprises,” I said, standing up and brushing the dust off my jeans.

“Alright,” he said, standing too. “Let’s go swimming.”

Matt’s old 5.0 Mustang roared as he shifted gears, the engine growling like it had something to prove. The windows were down, and the warm summer air whipped through my hair as we sped down the road toward the hotel. His hand rested casually on the gearshift, and I couldn’t help but glance at him. He looked so at ease behind the wheel, like he belonged there—wild and untamed, completely in his element.

“You sure about this?” he asked, smirking at me as he turned into the hotel’s parking lot.

I nodded. “Yeah. It’s fine. Just let me handle the front desk.”

As soon as we walked into the lobby, I caught sight of Lily at the front desk. She glanced up from her computer, and her lips curved into a knowing smirk the moment our eyes met.

“Y/N,” she said, leaning on the counter. “Back again? What’s it been, two weeks?”

“Something like that,” I said, trying to sound casual as I slid my dad’s card across the counter.

Her gaze shifted to Matt, her smirk deepening as she took him in. “And who’s this? A new friend?”

I could feel Matt’s eyes on me, but I ignored him, leaning on the counter. “Yeah, a friend. Can we just get the usual?”

Lily chuckled, shaking her head as she started typing. “You know, if your dad ever finds out you’re here, he’s gonna lose it.”

“Not if you don’t tell him,” I said, giving her my sweetest smile.

She rolled her eyes but handed me the key. “Room 412. Try not to get me fired, alright?”

“Thanks, Lily. You’re the best.”

“You owe me,” she called as we walked toward the elevator.

Matt waited until the doors closed before speaking. “So, you sneak off to hotels a lot, or am I just special?”

“Don’t get a big head,” I said, shoving the key into my pocket. “Lily’s cool, and this place is quiet. That’s all.”

“Uh-huh,” he said, smirking as we stepped into the room.

I tossed my bag onto the bed and pulled out the bathing suit I’d grabbed earlier. It was one of my favorites—a deep red two-piece I’d swiped from the back of my drawer when I snuck into the house to pack.

“The bathroom’s free if you need to change,” I said, not looking at him as I unfolded the suit.

Matt just grinned, unzipping his bag and pulling out a pair of dark swim trunks. “You really think I care about privacy, princess? I’ll turn around. No peeking.”

“Matt,” I warned, and he laughed, heading to the bathroom with his bag slung over his shoulder.

I changed quickly, the faint sound of the shower running as Matt rinsed off. When I was done, I wrapped a towel around my shoulders and sat on the edge of the bed, scrolling mindlessly on my phone.

A few minutes later, he stepped out, his hair damp and his smirk firmly in place. “Alright, princess. Ready to hit the pool?”

“Let’s go,” I said, grabbing my towel.

For the next week, the hotel became our sanctuary. Matt and I would sneak out to meet at the same spot. The front desk clerk, Lily, barely batted an eye when we showed up anymore, just handing over the room key with a smirk and a warning not to trash the place.

The routine felt natural, like it had always been this way. We’d grab snacks, smoke on the balcony, and talk until the early hours of the morning. Sometimes we’d sit in silence, the quiet hum of the city below filling the space between us. It was easy. It was ours.

We were sitting on the edge of the bed, the room dimly lit by the glow of the bedside lamp. I was leaning back on my palms, legs crossed, watching Matt roll a blunt with the kind of precision that never failed to fascinate me. He’d been unusually quiet all evening, and I couldn’t tell if it was the weed or something else weighing on him.

“Okay, what’s up with you tonight?” I finally asked, breaking the silence.

He glanced at me, his fingers pausing for a moment before he went back to his task. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you’re acting... weird.”

“I’m always weird,” he said with a smirk, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Not like this,” I pressed, sitting up straighter. “Come on, Matt. Spit it out.”

He finished rolling, setting the blunt on the nightstand before leaning back beside me. For a moment, he didn’t say anything, just stared at the ceiling.

“You ever think about how none of this makes sense?” he said finally.

“What do you mean?” I asked, frowning.

“You and me,” he said, turning his head to look at me. “You’re this... perfect girl. And me? I’m a drug addict and dealer.”

“Matt—”

“I’m serious,” he said, cutting me off. “Why do you even keep coming back here?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but the words caught in my throat. Why did I keep coming back? Was it the way he made me feel like I could just be myself, without the weight of everyone’s expectations? 

“I don’t know,” I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper.

He studied me for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then, before I could say anything else, he leaned in.

It wasn’t rushed or clumsy, like I’d imagined my first kiss with him might be. It was slow, deliberate—like he was giving me every chance to pull away. But I didn’t. I couldn’t.

When his lips brushed mine, it was like the whole world shifted. My heart was racing, my head spinning, and for a moment, everything else faded away.

When he pulled back, his eyes searched mine, his usual smirk replaced by something softer, almost uncertain.

“Was that weird?” he asked quietly.

“No,” I said, my voice steady despite the butterflies in my chest. “Not even a little.”

He grinned then, the kind of grin that made my heart skip a beat. “Good.”

I smiled back, leaning into his shoulder as the weight of the moment settled over us.

Since that first kiss in the hotel room, Matt and I fell into a rhythm that felt too natural to question. Every day, we’d find a way to sneak off together, and every time, it ended with his hands on my waist, my fingers tangled in his hair, and our lips colliding like we couldn’t get enough. We didn’t talk about what we were—didn’t need to. Whatever this was, it was ours, unspoken but undeniable, existing in the space between labels and rules we both hated anyway.

It had been hours since I’d texted Matt, and he still hadn’t answered. Not a single word. My calls went straight to voicemail, and with every minute that passed, my irritation grew.

By the time I decided to drive to the trap, I was fuming. It wasn’t like him to completely ghost me—not since we’d started this thing between us. Even when he was busy, he’d usually shoot me a quick text. But today? Nothing.

When I got there, I didn’t bother knocking, didn’t care who saw me for once. I stormed inside, ignoring the side-eyes and muttered comments from the guys hanging out in the living room. I knew exactly where to find him.

The door to the back room was cracked open, and as I pushed it wide, the first thing I saw was Matt sitting on the couch, leaning forward with a razor blade in his hand. There was a thin line of white powder on the coffee table in front of him, and he was halfway through cutting it when he looked up and saw me.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice a mix of surprise and guilt.

For a second, I just stood there, staring at him, trying to process what I was seeing. I’d known what went on here, of course, but this? This felt different.

“You weren’t answering your phone,” I said, my voice sharp as I stepped inside. “And now I know why.”

He sighed, sitting back and rubbing a hand over his face. “It’s not what it looks like—”

“Oh, really?” I cut him off, gesturing to the table. “Because it looks like you’re doing coke, Matt. And last I checked, you never told me you did that.”

“I don’t, usually,” he said quickly, standing up. “It’s just... I don’t know. Today’s been rough.”

I folded my arms, my anger simmering just below the surface. “Rough enough to ignore me all day?”

“I didn’t mean to,” he said, stepping closer. “I just needed to clear my head.”

I stared at him, waiting for the sting of betrayal to hit me. But it didn’t. All I felt was frustration—not because of what he’d done, but because he hadn’t told me.

“You know,” I said slowly, “I don’t even care that you’re doing it.”

Matt blinked, clearly caught off guard. “Wait, what?”

“I don’t care,” I repeated. “It’s not like I’m mad about that. What pisses me off is that you didn’t tell me. You didn’t trust me enough to be honest.”

He stared at me, his confusion written all over his face. “You don’t care?”

I shrugged, dropping my arms to my sides. “Not really. I like how dangerous you make me feel, Matt. How you’re nothing like the life I’ve always had to live. This?” I gestured vaguely at the table. “It’s just part of it. But don’t shut me out, okay? Don’t lie to me.”

For a moment, he didn’t say anything. Then he let out a breath, running a hand through his hair. “You’re full of surprises, princess.”

“Yeah, well, so are you,” I muttered, walking over to him.

He reached out, his hand brushing mine. “I won’t lie to you again. I promise.”

“Good,” I said, my voice softening. “Because if we’re doing this, Matt, I need to know I can trust you. All of you.”

He nodded, his eyes locking with mine. “You can.”

It had been two months since Matt and I started whatever this was, and somehow, we’d managed to keep it completely under wraps. Nobody knew—not my friends, not his, not even the people at the trap. Every stolen moment, every shared laugh, and every kiss was ours alone, hidden from the world.

Somehow, it worked. The secrecy felt like part of the thrill at first, but somewhere along the way, it stopped being about the rush of sneaking around. 

We didn’t need to say it outright—we both knew what it was. The way his eyes softened when he looked at me, the way my chest ached when he smiled, how his voice dipped when he called me "princess." It was love, real and messy and overwhelming, and it scared me how easily I fell into it.

Matt was my secret, my escape, and my everything. And for now, that was enough.

Matt pulled back suddenly, his light eyes locking on mine. There was something different in them—a kind of reckless excitement that sent a jolt straight through me.

“We should do it,” he said, his voice steady but brimming with something wild and unstoppable.

I blinked at him, my breath catching in my throat. “Do what?”

“Get married,” he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. “First thing tomorrow. Let’s go to the courthouse and make it official.”

For a moment, his words just hung between us, and all I could do was stare at him, trying to process what he’d just said. Then, out of nowhere, a grin spread across my face, wide and incredulous.

“Are you serious?” I asked, laughing because how could he be serious?

“As a heart attack,” he said, smirking that infuriating, irresistible smirk. “You and me. No one else. Just like it’s been.”

Before I even realized what I was doing, I shot up from the bed, bouncing on the mattress like some overexcited kid. “Yes! Yes, yes, yes!” I shouted, throwing my arms in the air, my heart racing like I’d just sprinted a mile.

Matt laughed—a real, deep laugh that made my chest tighten in the best way. He reached up, grabbing my arm to pull me back down beside him. I collapsed onto the bed, still laughing, completely breathless, as he leaned over me. His lips brushed against my cheek, my nose, my forehead—everywhere except my lips, and each touch sent shivers down my spine.

“I love you,” he murmured, his voice low and filled with more emotion than I’d ever heard from him before. It was raw, unguarded, and it made my chest ache.

“I love you too,” I whispered, my hands gripping his shirt like I never wanted to let him go.

This wasn’t how I thought my life would go—not even close. But as I looked up at him, his smirk softening into something so genuine it made my heart hurt, I realized I didn’t care. This was us, and that was all that mattered.

I stood in front of the mirror, smoothing down the fabric of my white sundress. It was simple, nothing too flashy, but something about it felt right. My stomach was a knot of nerves and excitement, my heart racing so fast I thought it might burst.

“Where are you going, sweetheart?” my mom’s voice cut through my thoughts, making me jump.

She stood in the doorway, arms crossed, giving me one of her trademark curious smiles.

“Church,” I said quickly, turning back to the mirror and trying to keep my voice steady. “There’s a midweek service I wanted to check out.”

Her brows lifted in mild surprise. “You’ve never been interested in those before.”

I shrugged, forcing a casual smile. “Just thought I’d try something new.”

She studied me for a moment longer, and I held my breath, praying she wouldn’t ask more questions. Finally, she nodded. “Alright. Have fun.”

As soon as she left, I grabbed my bag and slipped out the door, my heart thudding harder with every step.

Matt was waiting for me at the hotel, leaning against his Mustang in a black button-up shirt and jeans. He looked up as I pulled in, his eyes sweeping over me like he was seeing me for the first time.

“You look…” He trailed off, shaking his head with a crooked grin. “Damn.”

“Shut up,” I muttered, but I couldn’t fight the smile tugging at my lips.

He opened the passenger door for me, and as I slid inside, he leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek. Then he got in, starting the engine with a rumble, and we were off.

The courthouse wasn’t far, but the drive felt like forever. Neither of us said much, the silence thick with anticipation. My fingers fidgeted with the hem of my dress, and I caught Matt glancing at me every so often, his smirk never fading.

When we arrived, it all happened so fast. A few forms, a few signatures, and then it was official. We were standing in front of the judge, and the reality of what we’d just done hit me like a tidal wave.

Matt turned to me, his hands gripping my waist as he pulled me closer. His smirk softened into something warmer, something that made my heart skip a beat.

“Mrs. Sturniolo,” he murmured, his voice low enough that only I could hear.

Before I could respond, his lips crashed into mine, right there in front of the judge. I didn’t care who was watching, didn’t care about anything except the way he was kissing me, like the whole world had disappeared.

When we finally pulled away, the judge cleared his throat, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“You two done?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Not even close,” Matt said, still grinning as he laced his fingers with mine.

I laughed, my cheeks flushing, but I didn’t let go of his hand. We walked out of that courthouse together, officially bound by something much bigger than a piece of paper. It was reckless and insane, but as I looked at him, I knew I wouldn’t change a thing.

Our “honeymoon” wasn’t anything fancy, but it was perfect in a way only Matt could make it. I told my parents I was heading to Cape Cod with a group of girlfriends for a beach getaway, and they barely questioned it. Matt picked me up early that morning, his Mustang packed with snacks, a cooler, and the essentials for a weekend by the water.

We stayed in a little beachfront motel, the kind of place with peeling paint and old wooden floors, but it didn’t matter. The second we walked in, Matt tossed his bag onto the bed, pulled me into his arms, and spun me around like we’d just won the lottery.

We spent the days stretched out on the sand, the salty breeze tangling my hair as Matt teased me about needing sunscreen every five minutes. He’d disappear into the water, diving under the waves, and come back dripping, shaking his hair like a dog just to annoy me.

The nights were something else entirely. We’d walk along the shore barefoot, the moonlight reflecting off the water, and talk about everything and nothing. He told me about his dreams of leaving town one day, maybe opening a garage or traveling cross-country in his Mustang. I told him about how I’d never felt more alive than I did when I was with him.

One night, we grabbed takeout and sat on the hood of his car, parked at the edge of a quiet cliff overlooking the ocean. He leaned back, his arm draped around my shoulders, and we talked about the future like it was this big, open road we couldn’t wait to drive down together.

It wasn’t extravagant or glamorous, but it didn’t need to be. It was us, messy and imperfect, and it felt more real than anything else ever had. By the end of the weekend, I didn’t care about the lies I told to get there, or the rules we broke.

The first day of school was supposed to feel exciting, like a fresh start, but all I felt was dread. I stood in front of the mirror, twisting the little gold band on my finger. It wasn’t much, nothing flashy or over-the-top, but it meant everything.

I slipped it off, my chest tightening as I set it on my nightstand. My hand felt bare without it, like something essential was missing, but I couldn’t bring myself to wear it. Not here. Not where everyone already had their assumptions about who I was supposed to be.

At school, I felt the stares before I even stepped through the door. People noticed everything—the way my hair looked, the clothes I wore, the expression on my face. I could practically hear their whispers if anything seemed even slightly off. So, I smiled, said all the right things, and laughed at jokes that weren’t funny, playing my role to perfection.

But all day, my mind was somewhere else. Or rather, with someone else.

I didn’t see Matt until lunch. He was leaning against the side of the bleachers outside, his head tilted back, that cocky smirk I knew so well playing on his lips as he talked to one of his friends. He didn’t look at me, but I caught him stealing a glance when he thought I wasn’t paying attention.

My stomach twisted.

This was how it always was at school. We didn’t talk, didn’t acknowledge each other. It was safer that way. But it killed me.

How could we have shared everything—the late nights, the secrets, the stolen moments—and now act like strangers?

I thought about the way his arms felt around me, how he made me laugh until my sides hurt, and the way he looked at me when he thought I wasn’t paying attention. But then I thought about the whispers, the rumors that would spread like wildfire if anyone knew.

It didn’t make sense. We didn’t make sense.

And as much as it hurt to even think about it, I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe I needed to let him go. Maybe this was too much, too messy, and it couldn’t work in the real world—not in the halls of this school, not when we were from completely different worlds.

By the time the final bell rang, my head was spinning. I wanted to run to him, to tell him I didn’t care what anyone thought. But I didn’t. 

'Isn’t it?' he asks again, his tone quieter now, almost resigned. 'I just need to know, right here, right now—if I fight for this, for us, are you going to fight too? Or are you already looking for the nearest exit?'

His words hit me like a punch to the chest, knocking the air right out of my lungs. My throat tightened, and before I could even think about stopping it, the tears spilled over, hot and unrelenting.

“I…” My voice broke, and I shook my head, trying to speak, but the words were stuck, tangled in the overwhelming ache in my chest.

Matt’s face softened, his eyes searching mine like he was bracing for the worst. That look—like he thought I might walk away and never come back—broke me completely.

Without thinking, I threw my arms around his neck, burying my face against him as the sobs came pouring out. His body tensed for a moment, like he hadn’t expected me to crumble this way, but then his arms wrapped around me, strong and sure, pulling me closer like he was trying to shield me from everything, even myself.

“I love you,” I choked out, my voice muffled against his shoulder. “I love you so much, Matt. I don’t care about the rest of it—what people think, what they’ll say. None of it matters. You’re the only thing that matters.”

His hand slid up my back, his fingers tangling gently in my hair as he held me tighter. “Then why are you crying, baby?” he asked softly, his voice low and warm against my ear.

“Because I’m scared,” I admitted, the words tumbling out in a rush. “I’m scared of losing you. I’m scared of what’s going to happen when everyone finds out. I’m scared I’m not strong enough for this, for us.”

He leaned back just enough to look at me, his hands framing my face as his thumbs wiped at my tears. “You’re the strongest person I know,” he said, his voice steady, his eyes locked on mine. “And you don’t have to be scared, not with me. I’m here, Y/N. I’m not going anywhere.”

I nodded, sniffling as I tried to catch my breath, but his gaze stayed on me, grounding me in a way that only he could.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said, his tone softer now, more certain. “No matter what it takes, we’ll figure it out. But you have to meet me halfway.”

“I will,” I whispered, my fingers gripping the back of his shirt like it was the only thing keeping me steady. “I promise, I’ll fight for us. Always.”

His lips curved into a faint smile before he leaned in, pressing the gentlest kiss to my forehead. And in that moment, even with the weight of the world threatening to crush us, I believed him. 

The next morning, I woke up with a mix of nerves and relief buzzing under my skin. I lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling and letting everything from the night before settle in. My parents knew now—about Matt, about us, about the ring.

I reached for the nightstand and slipped the ring onto my finger, the small gold band catching the soft morning light. It felt right being there, like a quiet reminder that Matt and I weren’t hiding anymore.

After a quick shower, I threw on a cropped shirt and jean shorts and went downstairs. The house smelled like coffee and my mom’s pancakes—her way of trying to make everything feel normal. My dad was sitting at the table, flipping through the newspaper, but his tight jaw and furrowed brow told me he was still processing.

“You’re sure about this, sweetheart?” he asked without looking up.

“Yes,” I said, my voice steady but soft. “I’m sure.”

Before he could respond, the doorbell rang.

I swallowed hard and walked to the door, my heart thudding as I opened it. There he was, standing on the porch in a clean black hoodie and jeans, his hands stuffed into his pockets. His hair was damp, like he’d just showered, and he looked…nervous.

“Hey,” he said, his voice low, his lips curving into a small, unsure smile.

“Hey,” I said back, stepping aside to let him in.

Matt hesitated for half a second before stepping inside, glancing around like he was stepping into enemy territory.

My mom appeared from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel. “You must be Matt,” she said, offering him a smile that was warm but cautious.

“Yes, ma’am,” Matt said, standing straighter. “It’s nice to meet you.”

She nodded, gesturing toward the dining table. “Come on in. Breakfast is almost ready.”

My dad finally looked up from the paper, his sharp eyes settling on Matt. “So, you’re the guy,” he said, his tone flat but not unkind.

“Yes, sir,” Matt said, holding his gaze. “I am.”

The tension in the room was palpable, and for a moment, I thought my dad might press him right then and there. But then he nodded, folding the paper and setting it aside. “Alright. Let’s eat.”

We all sat down, and for the first few minutes, the only sounds were the clink of silverware and the occasional comment about the pancakes. Matt was quieter than I’d ever seen him, answering questions politely and keeping his usual smartass comments to himself.

Eventually, my dad leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he looked at Matt. “So, what are your plans, son?”

Matt paused, his fork halfway to his mouth. “Plans, sir?”

“For the future,” my dad said, his tone firm but not unfriendly. “My daughter’s future is tied to yours now. I want to know what you’re going to do with it.”

I tensed, ready to jump in, but Matt set his fork down and met my dad’s gaze head-on.

“I’m going to make her happy,” he said simply. “And I’m going to do whatever it takes to give her the life she deserves.”

My dad didn’t say anything for a long moment, just studied him like he was trying to read something in his face. Then, finally, he nodded. “Good answer.”

Matt exhaled softly, and I reached under the table, squeezing his hand. He glanced at me, his lips curving into a small, genuine smile, and in that moment, I knew we were going to be okay.

Breakfast wasn’t perfect, and I knew it would take time for my parents to fully come around, but as we cleared the plates and my dad offered Matt a firm handshake.

The moment Matt’s Mustang rumbled into the school parking lot, heads turned. It was impossible to miss—the glossy black paint, the loud engine, and the way Matt carried himself as he stepped out of the car. He moved to my side, opening the passenger door like it was second nature.

I stepped out, my backpack slung over my shoulder, and the whispers started immediately.

“Is that Y/N?” “Wait, is she with him?” “No way.”

Matt didn’t seem to care, his usual smirk firmly in place as he held out his hand. I took it without hesitation, lacing my fingers with his. My heart raced, but I lifted my chin and ignored the stares as we walked toward the building.

Inside, the chatter grew louder, and I could feel the weight of everyone’s eyes on us. We stopped by my locker, and Matt leaned casually against the door next to mine, his presence as solid and grounding as ever.

“You good?” he asked, his voice low enough that only I could hear.

“Yeah,” I said, nodding.

He grinned, leaning down to press a quick kiss to my lips before pulling back. “Text me if you need me,” he said, squeezing my hand one last time before turning and heading to his own class.

I walked into my first class, where my group of friends was already seated near the front. The second I stepped in, I could feel their judgment before they even said a word.

“Y/N,” Brianna said, her perfectly arched brow shooting up as she glanced toward the door I’d just come through. “What was that?”

“That,” I said, sliding into my seat and setting my bag down, “was my husband walking me to class.”

Their jaws practically hit the floor.

“You’re joking,” Jenna said, her voice dripping with disbelief.

“You married Matt?” Brianna added, like the name itself was an insult. “The guy who sells—”

“Don’t,” I interrupted sharply, my eyes locking on hers. “Don’t finish that sentence.”

The room went quiet, the tension thick in the air.

“Look,” I said, my voice steady, “you don’t have to like him. You don’t even have to understand. But I love him, and he’s good to me, so if you can’t respect that, then maybe we’re not really friends.”

They stared at me, wide-eyed, like I’d just sprouted a second head.

Finally, Brianna huffed, crossing her arms. “You’re serious about this?”

“Dead serious,” I said, leaning back in my chair.

Jenna exchanged a glance with Brianna before sighing. “Alright,” she said reluctantly. “But don’t come crying to us when he fucks you over.”

“He won’t,” I said simply, my confidence unwavering.

The bell rang, cutting off any further conversation, and as the teacher started class, I felt a small smile tug at the corners of my lips. For the first time, I wasn’t hiding or apologizing for my choices. I was finally standing up for what—and who—I loved.

tag-

@tbfaptbfae @ch0llies @2muchofaslvt @rockstarchr1s @simply-a-simper @mattscore @watercolorskyy @urfungi @slut4christopherr @mattsturnii @christmastreecake @izzylovesmatt @larnieboox88 @christophersstar-deactivated202 @realuvrrr @namelesssav @matts-girlfriend @emely9274

[caxde]

disposible heroes | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

summary Eddie is assumed to be dead, you belived it, until music found his way into your live again, and a promise he's still alive is evident (7.2k)

warnings fem!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, yearning etc, slowburn, idiots in love!!!, english is not my first language so I apologise if there’s some mistakes, not proof read!, canon-ish complaiant?

a/n: thank you to @sage-glowstick for all your help as I was writing this <33

“You know I’m here if you need me, right?” Robin’s voice felt as if it were coming from a thousand miles away, even if she was beside you, her fingers running through your hair, petting you softly. 

“I know” Your voice came out croaky, heavy, raspy. Tears were still falling from your eyes, you felt them, the coldness of the salty water running down your reddened and hot cheek. 

“Anything you need.” She repeated, wiping it away, her finger on the apple of your cheek a bit longer, trying to make you feel seen. 

“It just doesn't feel real.” You whispered, not being able to actually say it fully out loud. 

“I know.” She imitated your low tone, standing up from the bed as she looked out the window. “It’s a lovely day out, we could go for a walk.”

“In a bit, maybe.” You gave her a forced, half smile to her. She imitated it before nodding, standing up to finally leave the room, leaving the door ajar. 

It was a good day out, sunny and without a cloud, the leaves on the tree outside your window moving slowly. 

But he wasn’t there. 

As far as you knew, his body still laid lifeless on the fractured darkened ground of the upside down. 

And you hadn’t saved him. 

Guilt consumed you. 

It was worse, you had to lie to Wayne, you had to lie to the only person that knew him as much as you did, that cared for him as much as you did. 

You buried an empty coffin a couple of weeks ago. 

And all you had was an old shirt of his, and his guitar pick necklace you had once gifted him. 

Your hands closed around it, one last tear falling down as you did so. I miss you, i’m sorry were the only thoughts running through your mind. 

After a long time of just thinking, your eyes vacant and your thoughts going a bit too fast. As soon as Robin came to check on you once again, she knew where you were headed off to. 

The mix he had made you was still in your car, playing his music as if he was next to you. If you concentrated enough, you could still hear him sing them, in his usual chaotic goofy voice and tone he always used to get you to laugh, though if he was being sirius or was in his own little world he actually had a beautiful voice, an angelical one if you were the one listening. 

A weird combination of crying and laughter was now consuming you, as you finally parked your car in the same spot you had for the last few weeks. 

It was a weird feeling, you became more yourself the closer you walked to his grave, the closer you came to seeing his name carved in stone, the fuller you felt, as if he was walking beside you. 

The wind rustled in the leaves, as birds stopped singing, the sun still shining, your skin soaking it in, your puffy eyes squinting harder because of it. 

It was a very scenic moment, you thought as you sat down in front of the carved stone. 

“Hey Moon.” You whispered with a heavy heart. The stinging coming back to the back of your head as you looked at the faded graffiti you had cleaned yesterday. “I brought you a bit of music, I thought you might like it.” You fumbled through your bag, trying to find the little portable cassette player you had saved up for, that he had drawn in the back of with one of his markers. EM was here could still be seen in a faint white ink. “I finally got you the Metallica cassette you wanted.” You half smiled, trying not to break down again. 

The first guitar notes from the song battery filled the air, you let your body hit the ground right as the bass started, your feet stomping at the melody. 

“You’d love to play the guitar solo of this one.” You teased him, mumbling to the sky, your eyes closed, your body relaxing a bit more. 

The little portable player was starting to make that funny noise it had been making for the last couple of days, that dirty interference that made you angry every time, interrupting your time, it only infuriated you more now that you were here, trying to be close to him once more. Your arm reached to it, your eyes yet unopened, spanking it a bit, hopeful that it would go away. 

It didn’t. 

It started going in and out of focus, as if something was tampering with it, or water had crawled in, making the switch to the next song sound as if it was coming from deep underwater, as if a wave had just engulfed the speaker. 

“Fuck’s sake.” You complained through gritted teeth, grabbing it and holding it up, wiggling it a bit. As you did, the muffled sound went away, and the thing that should not be started playing. 

You lowered the volume, and let the speaker sit next to your ear, letting it sing only for you. 

It didn’t give you any trouble for a while, until it started acting up again. This time, the volume went up and down. At first you thought it was random, until you started paying attention. It seemed like a message, and grief invaded you enough to make you believe impossible things. 

Your shaking hands grabbed it, pulling it a top of your lap, looking back at where his name was carved before whispering “Don’t fuck with me” as you played the backwards button. Letting the song start from the beginning once again. “I swear to god Eddie if you’re fucking with me I’ll kill you again.” You spat as you mumbled angrily at the air, hoping to be right. 

To your astonished surprise, it seemed to work. 

The volume went up, as if it was a code, as if he was screaming. If you were honest, you could feel him screaming and yelling the lyrics in that chaotic voice you learned to love and miss. 

The very first word of the song spiked up messenger, it felt obvious enough, though it could just be a dumb coincidence. lurking beneath the sea made the volume go up, lowering immediately after it. You kept listening, writing it on the sketch pad you always carried in your bag. 

Once the song ended, the previous blank paper had sparesed lyrics over it. 

It read a confusing mess that you had to bring to Dustin as soon as possible. You recited it over and over again while you were speeding on the car. 

The motor of your car was louder with every gear shift you made, the little orange arrow in your speedometer kept rising, but you payed it no mind. In a similar manner, you didn’t care if your car skidded anytime you made a left turn, the only thing in your mind where the little words you had heard louder than the others. 

You didn’t care if your car blocked his driveway, or if the keys were still in the ignition. The bag on your left shoulder felt havier now that it was guarding the little instrument that felt magic. You hands where still shaking and you could stop fidgeting with his necklace, moving it one swipe left and two right as you made your way to Dustin’s front door, not sure what to say, not sure what to do. You were now anxiously looking down at your feet, and the way they moved through the cobblestone, the bumps that they left on your feet. 

You gathered enough courage to bang on his door. 

But he was taking a bit too long. 

Bang

He still hadn’t come down stairs. 

Bang Bang Bang Bang

“Jesus what?” He finally opened the door, the usual annoyed look on his face disappearing once he the way your lips were pressed together. 

“Upstairs, now. Code red.”

-

“Can you read it again?” Dustin asked, a pen in his own hand. 

“Messenger. Lurking beneath the sea. Forbidden site. Shadows. Underground. Fallen city, living death.” You looked at him, sharing a deep breath. “Then it repeats, Lurking beneath the sea, and ends with not dead”

Dustin stood up, pacing around his room while his hands fidgeted with the pen he had. 

“And you’re sure it worked normally before you arrived at the grave?” He inquired, his words pausing between them as he usually did when he was trying to figure out something. 

“Look I know it sounds stupid, but… I… It can’t be a coincidence.” He acknowledged just how hopeful and defeated you were, and he gifted you a smile. 

“I wanna believe it too, I just, can I hear it now?” You nodded, while you took the little player out of the bag and played the song again. It sounded crystal clear, no interference, no change in volume. “And it changed volume once you were…” 

“Yeah, I told you.” 

“We should go there, I’ll ask the others to join us there.” He grabbed the talkie while he handed you the phone, letting you call into family video, the number already dialed up. 

“Family Video this is Steve how may I help you today?” He sounded as bored as he always was, you could tell he was playing with the telephone chord. 

“Steve, can you take your break now?” Your voice was quieter than usual, and that pulled him in, you heard how his elbows hit the table, and the receiver was caught between his cheek and his shoulder. 

“Hey honey, everything okay?” His tone was sharper now, you felt the way he was measuring his words, he had become rather used to spreading kindness and handling you with care ever since you had come back, you had no time for that kind of nonsense right now. 

“Yeah, that’s why I’m asking you to skip work in the middle of the day.” Your words were coming out sharper and colder than you intended for them to. Irony stinging like a dagger. 

“A simple no would also work, y’know.” He answered, a bit hurt, but mostly worried. He knew the number was coming from Dustin’s house, and the only reason you had to go over his house was for one he didn’t dare to think about. 

Mostly because the last time you had barged in with Dustin into Family Video he ended diving into cold water, and with a few scars to remember those days by. 

“Can you take your break or not? We kinnda need both of you.” You were impatient now, you were speaking faster, snappier, quicker. 

“What the hell is going on?” You could physically see him holding the bridge of his nose, his eyes closed while he loudly breathed out into the receiver. 

“Steve! Please?” You were begging now, the frustration of wanting to let him know everything all at once, while trying to be careful to not say too much, the fear that someone might listen to you, the impotence of not being able to do enough, it was all enough to create tears that wouldn’t fall. 

“Breathe out.” He reminded you. He didn’t know what was going on, or why you seemed to be so aggravated, but he could tell that it was important enough, a sense of urgency clear in your voice. He took a second, looking at Robin while his eyebrows raised she called the ‘the decision look’ and she knew better than to oppose it. “Is this a code red?” He finally asked, wanting and needing you to say no, his head falling deeper once he heard your muffled yes. “Where are we meeting?” 

“Graveyard.” You answer quickly, the iron taste in the inside of your mouth becomes more prominent now that you are speaking again. “Pick Nance up.” You told him before hanging up. 

You gave a quick glance over your shoulder to check on Dustin. His words were fast paced, he started the second one while the first was still finishing in his mouth, he had no time to lose, which in a weird way, was reassuring for you. Someone cared as deeply as you did, it made you feel not that alone, seen in a way. 

You found your way downstairs, your feet feeling heavier and your chest tightening, a fast thought entered your mind, as it grew bigger so did the worry that accompanied it. What do we do if he is alive?

If Eddie really is alive, and he has been there, all by himself for the last weeks he must be pissed off. Not only that, as far as you remembered he was incredibly injured, so he could be right at death's door, a slip away from being actually gone. And if that was really the case, and he was bloodied, starving and a whisper away from death, you’d never forgive yourself if you didn’t at least just try, you had to try. 

But then again, that panic was shared. 

Dustin did not talk while you drove. He didn’t complain while you smoked one of his cigarettes that he had left on your glove compartment, he limited himself to stay still, biting his thumb as a response to the nervousness that was now deep inside his body. 

You parked where you had a mere hour ago, and the birds sang until you found your way next to his gravestone. You looked at Dustin, needing reassurance, he just nodded. Weirdly enough, you were both in a lost for words. 

You sat in silence, looking at his name with clear sandness in both of your faces, you hid a whimper, culpability making its way into your body. 

“I feel insane.” You confessed as you buried your face into the palm of your hands. Needing just a second to process it all. 

“You’re not the only one.” Dustin added, looking back as soon as he heard a familiar car pull into the secluded place you both were, he gave you a soft pad on your shoulder, his head nodding to it so you’d look. 

Steve emerged from the burgundy car, closely followed by Robin, Nancy and Jonathan.

Robin’s eyebrows were raised in concern as she ran to where you were, she wasn’t a fiscal touch person, but lately she had been giving you hugs every chance she had, and this time it was no different. It felt familiar, a sense of reassurance you desperately needed. 

“What’s going on?” She whispered into your ear, pulling away slowly, looking deep into your eyes. You waited for the other three to make their way up hill, Nancy’s knuckles were white with how much strength she was holding Jonathan’s hand. 

“He’s alive.” Is all you could bring yourself to say, before breaking down. 

You weren’t even sure why you were crying this time, maybe it just felt good to say it outloud, maybe it was just too much to manage, or maybe you just needed to relise your bottled up emotions. It didn’t matter. 

Nancy’s eyes widened, as Jonathan looked at her, not really understanding why you’d say that. Meanwhile, Steve’s arms crossed in front of his chest, he was having a hard time following you. 

“What are you talking about?” Steve’s voice was not only lower, his tone had never been as serious, not a trace or irony or sarcasm in them. 

“Dustin?” You plead for help, you didn’t think you could manage to explain it all again. Your hands were busy fidgeting with the cassette player, tracing over the speaker, wishing that it would happen again. 

“She uh… Well…” Dustin was having a hard time, the possibility that you might be right was a bit overpowering for him. 

“I came over, and played him the new record.” You gestured to the empty cassette case with the white crosses on it, Robin picked it up and looked at it closely, smiling in that that’s sweet way that she does when she finds something charming. “And uh…” 

“She says that the cassette player started going wild, the volume going up and down by itself, interference, water sound in it. But we played it again at my house and it sounds perfectly clear. And well… The words that were actually louder were like a call for help and if we look at this logically-” Steve cut the explanation that Dustin had started, a crease in the middle of his forehead. 

“That’s insane. You’re seeing things where there are none.” He exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his hands. 

“Steve…” Robin pleaded calmly, her eyes asking for him to consider the situation. 

“It’s not!” You screamed. You needed them to understand, weirder things had happened to all of you in the last couple of years, this was nothing new. “Will was able to communicate with you!” You looked at Jonathan now, trying to make him understand, trying to win him to your side of the argument. 

“Yeah but… He actually… It was his voice.” Jonathan mumbled, trying really hard to believe what you were saying, trying to see your side of the story, but the look of desperation on your face was too close to Joyce’s, and that gave him a bad feeling in his stomach. 

“He’s alive.” You repeated, looking back at the way his name was carved into the gray stone, how long it took you to be able to accept it, and how it hopefully would be destroyed, as if it never had happened. “And he’s down there, alone, injured and with no strength, do you really think he’s going to start chatting?” With every word you said your tone became higher and higher. 

“Look, there is no way he’s alive…” Steve’s voice sounded defeated as he crouched down, closer to your eye level as you were still sitting down at the floor. “We all saw him down there, bloodied and… I get that you want him back, but you shouldn’t make it our problem.” his cheeks were red, as the vein in his left temple became bigger with every breath he took. 

“Your problem?” That made you lose it, it was one thing to not believe you, it was an entirely different thing to call you crazy and accuse you of being delusional. “You were the last one out, if he is alive, it’s your fault.” It had been like poison, hearing you say such things. You knew far too well that you were hurting him, his lips were pressed against each other, his left hand holding on thigh to his arm. 

“Guys…” Robin tried to calm you both down, exchanging looks between the both of you, knowing full well this could blow everything up. Knowing that pain can be spread around faster than any disease. 

But before she could say anything else, her ears perked up, as she heard the way the wind was rustling through the trees, she was a bit too sensitive to these kinds of things, over vigilant after everything she had seen. 

“That’s way out of line…” Steve whispered, with clear guilt creeping in through his voice. “You know that if I could trade it… You know I don’t…” He was truly at a loss for words, not being sure what he could say, an extremely defeated expression rested on his face, his eyes avoiding eye contact with yours, looking at the ground, and the way the grass moved thanks to the wind. 

“Guys!” Robin screamed at all of you now, as she picked out a rusting coming deep and low from the little player you were still holding. 

Silence broke through all of you, as you looked down and started hearing the beginning of a song you hadn’t hit play for, the red light that usually shined bright when it was on was absent from it. 

“Did you–?” Dustin started to ask, you shook your head, as a hopeful smile invaded your lips. 

You went quiet, looking down at it, a guitar solo started, before you heard the tape playing backwards until the last phrase of the song was found, volume creeping louder and louder reaching out again could be heard from it, you let out a chuckle, a nervous giggle that went around the group as everyone had now experienced what had happened to you. 

“What song is that?” Nancy asked directly at you, her face still in clear shock, mouthing the first words since she got here. 

“Welcome home” You mutter, with glee in your eyes. “He is here.” You tell her, knowing that she fully believes you, by the way fear was creeping into her body. 

“That could just be a coincidence…” Steve was still cautious, not wanting to fully give in. If he did, that meant that you were right, and that he left him for dead, and he couldn’t handle the guilt that came with it. 

“Eddie!” Dustin started screaming, directly into the little player that you would not let go of, repeating his name with urgency. “Buddy, are you really there?” 

“It’s changing again.” Robin pointed out, as her fingers traced a pattern on your leg, reassuring you that this was actually happening. 

It was exactly as it had happened a few moments ago, when you were by yourself, as if water had creeped inside, mumbled and far away it sounded as the song changed to another one, before becoming crystal clear to your ears. The heavy thumping of the guitars starting again, quieting down before abruptly going up once the lyrics Twenty-one, only son, but he served us well could be heard. 

You were tearing up now, and you weren’t even capable of hiding it any longer. 

But panic came quick once you heard the next highlighted set of words. 

Finished here, greeting death, he’s yours to take away

“What’s this one called?” Jonathan asked this time, his head whipping fastly from Nancy to you. 

“Disposable Heroes.” 

-

You wasted no time. 

Dustin held on tight to his car seat every time your foot pressed the accelerator, everytime you swerved the car you could feel him holding his breath just for him to release it in a nervous manner. 

They were all gathered around Steve's kitchen table, arguing over themselves. 

You weren’t all there, the only thing going over your head was him, and the promise of actually being able to hear his voice once again. 

Your foot kept on tapping the ground, a repetitive pattern that you weren’t able to stop, your hand still playing with his necklace. The chatter of them talking was overwhelming you, they were wasting time and that was infuriating. They were arguing, and you were frozen in the spot. They kept talking and you remained quiet. 

Nancy sat down next to you, she still hadn’t said anything either. 

Her hand traveled to yours, a top of your thigh. She squeezes your hand, you knew it was her way of telling you i’m here, i’m sorry. 

“They’re wasting time.” You finally whispered, your voice hoarse, a trace of sadness in it. 

“I don’t think I can go back.” She said at the same time, a trace of guilt in hers. 

“You shouldn’t.” You reassured her, not only with your calm voice, but with the same squeeze she gave to your hand, now on her’s. You didn’t have to tell her that you planned on going alone, she had already noticed. 

“You can’t.” She finally looked at you, deep into your eyes. You noticed the way her eye twitched before shaking his head. “We barely made it out of there, there’s no way you’ll make it by yourself, and having to carry Eddie or…” 

“His body?” She snorted a laugh, trying hard not to giggle, thought the nervous laughter got you too. “This has to be one of the most insane days…” She nodded while you both laughed, catching your breath before she talked. 

“I’m watching over you, I’ll stand at the gate. That I can do.” she stood there for a second longer, her lips pursed in that shy smile she usually gave people, the ones she actually cares about. 

“Thanks Nance…” You let go of her hand, to give her a playful bump on her shoulder. She nodded as she saw you finally stand up. 

Robin looked at you with curious eyes, as she saw you finally leaving the couch. She watched in a quiet manner as she saw you grab the car keys and put them in your pocket, and how you looked around as you put your hair up in a messy ponytail, bumps caused by shaky fingers. She only put her hand around Steve’s arm, her eyes still trained on you, once she saw you pocketing the vodka bottle and the old rag to light it up. 

Steve looked at Robin first, following her eyesight until she saw you, trying to not look suspicious as the rag poked out of the pocket of your brown leather jacket. 

You knew you were being caught as soon as you heard the sudden silence. 

“Woah, woah, hey…Where do you think you’re going?” Steve pointed out, one hand on his waist as the other one gesticulated widely. Confusion and worry evident in the way he spoke, his voice coming up and down like a rollercoaster. 

“What do you think?” The frustration was clear in the way you not only looked back at him, but in the way your words sting. “You’re wasting time…” You were now defeated, your hands now buried deep into your jacket pockets, fingers playing around with what you had in them, a way of distracting yourself. 

“We’re not.” Dustin tried to make a point, though his furrowed brows read as sadness. “We need a plan, so we’re just trying to come up with one…”

“What plan? We go in, Nancy guards the door, we get him, we come back.” Your shoulders scrunch up as you simplified it all, their eyes switched from you to Nancy, who was still sat down at the sofa, a bit tenser than when you were beside her. 

“Nance, you’re not coming?” Steve inquired, his whole body turning to face her from a distance. 

“I… I can’t…” Her eyes crystalised as shock emanated from her body. 

“She doesn’t have to, I’ll be with her, we’ll keep watch. Right?” Jonathan jumped in, reassuring Nancy, as Steve took a step back. “You’re not leaving my sight.” He whispered in her ear once he got by her side, their foreheads touching. 

You smiled to yourself, a sweet moment between them. The world stopped for them, you could tell, and that’s exactly what you were craving right now, and worrying you might never get back. 

“Fine, but we still don’t know how to get in.” Steve added, his arms flexing in front of his chest as he shook his head in defeat. 

“Watergate.” You mutter. 

“You’re insane.” Robin snapped as soon as she heard you, pausing in between words. “Even if we did manage to get down there and it was still open, how do you plan on coming back with him? What if there’s more rabies infected bats around? What if you get stuck there this time? We need to find another gate!” She was now talking in full speed, cascading words as her thoughts entered her mind. 

“So we go to the woods!” You whine, frustration and impatience invade you once more. 

“The woods?” Steve asked. 

“She’s right.” Dustin added, his eyes finally leaving the ground shining as they did so. “Vecna killed Patrick and that created Watergate, so maybe there’s a gate near Fred’s death, like the one in the trailer…”

“What?” You questioned him as you saw him losing the train of thought. “We go to the woods and we get in and out, what’s wrong?” 

“We killed Vecna, so the upside down should be collapsing since he isn’t alive and isn’t there to power it so…” He continued as he thought out loud. 

“So what?” Steve asked as his voice went higher in tone. 

“So it’s crumbling down.” Dustin pointed out as if it was overly obvious. 

“So we have to go, now.” You said at the same time, heading to the door, no time to waste. 

You heard their footsteps following you as you found your way to your car, you were finally getting somewhere.

-

You thought you would feel relieved once you saw you were right, what you weren’t expecting was your jaw to clench at the sight of the hidden gate. 

It wasn’t big, it was small and weak. 

The same thing that happened back in the graveyard started again. The wind picked up, hollowing through the trees replacing the chirping of the birds. 

“Take care.” Nancy said with a trembling voice, while her hand was holding tightly with Jonathan’s. 

Steve’s grip on his bat changed, firm and steady now, before twisting it a bit, readjusting it so he’d be more comfortable. Dustin’s hands fidgeted with the end of his jacket, patting his pockets checking once again that he wasn’t missing anything. 

“If we’re not here in an hour, check in with El, she’s with the others guarding Max, but she should be able to…” Dustin recalled for the hundredth time, going over the plan he had been yelling about in the car drive over here. 

“Yeah, one hour. Got it.” Jonathan nodded as he spoke, waving bye as you stepped in. 

You just pressed your lips as you heard him. 

If you only had an hour, you had to make it count. And it had to start now. 

You had never just walked into the upside down. You had always fallen into it, so you didn’t have time to actually feel the veil breaking as your skin found its way in, the viscosity of the red hue, and the dryness that could be felt immediately after that. Your eyes slowly adjusted to the lack of colour and light, as you became hypervigilant, looking up at the sky before the others found their way. 

Nothing. 

There was absolutely nothing there. 

A cloudless sunless grey sky welcomed you, with no thunder or lightning. 

If anything, that nothingness was just more unnerving. 

Every step they made echoed through, and made you look around, hoping to find something that would make you keep your hopes up. 

You agreed on walking to the graveyard, if there was nothing there, you’d find your way to the trailer park and go back. 

“Something’s weird.” Steve pointed out, as he looked around. 

“Not weird, decaying.” You added, nodding to a grey crumbled up vine. The hole in it seemed to get deeper and bigger by the second. 

“Quiet.” Robin said, as she looked up. “There’s no bats, no thunder either.” 

“You can still trip though.” You told her as you held her from stepping into a fallen tree branch. 

You walked, you weren’t really sure for how long, yet she was right, it was oddly beautiful now. A stuck in time version of Hawkins where nothing seemed to change, where everything looked as if it was straight out of an antique photograph you had found hidden in a cupboard. 

You could see the iron gate from the cemetery, the bars on it starting to fold down, as if they were wilting flowers of an old bouquet. You felt as you collectively held in your breath. 

It wasn’t long after that that you started hearing someone yelling unintelligible things. 

While you were slowly making your way in, Eddie lied there. 

He was right where you thought he’d be -unaware that you were near him- an empty space between gravestones, his body falling into the floor, exhausted from getting there, starving and malnourished. He had been talking nonsense for a while, he started whispering it into the heavens, until now, his voice was loud, and even if he didn’t intend to, panic found its way in it. 

“Just one more song? Please? I need to know you’re there. I’ll sing along again if you want!” He had been looking at the void in the sky for a long time, he wasn’t sure if it had been an hour or two, to be honest, it felt like he had been there for days. “C’mon baby, please? Just a bit more, a guitar solo, or just… your voice would be nice…” He started begging now, pleading with some force he didn’t quite believe in for something that would indicate you’re there, near. “For fuck sake! I know I’ll die here, at least you could play some music while I do so!” Themix of desperation and tiredness was now getting into him, he looked at his hands and realised how his rings looked bigger, then now danced and moved with more ease. “Or just… Maybe if you light one up?” 

At the same time, you started hearing his screams, and you started picking up the pace, running through the maze of granite carved stones, with different names and dates. 

Dustin was the first to start screaming his name, while you just focused on running near where the voice came from. 

You’d know it was him even if you hadn’t heard him in thirty years. 

Adrenaline came over your body, so you rushed until your legs stopped, all of a sudden once you saw him. 

He was there, his hand on his stomach, where blackened stains in his shirt layed wrinkled. 

He was there, his hair laid perfectly still in a careful knotted mess. 

He was there, his chest raised up and down as he breathed. 

He was there, and he was alive. 

“Moon…?” The nickname you had for him fell from your lips, your tone shaking as you still couldn’t believe it. 

He slowly stood up, a grin of discomfort from pain evident in his face. He looked at you, his eyes barely opening up. He was still sitting on the ground, you felt your lips curving upwards as relief invaded you, seeing him smiling at you in recognition. 

“Eddie?!” Dustin screamed as he ran up to him, falling to his knees as he hugged him, his head hitting his chest, Eddie’s arms slowly wrapped around his body. “I thought I… We lost you…”  His voice was muffled, still you could tell he had started crying. 

“I thought I lost you too.” Eddie’s voice trembled as he looked directly at you. His eyes crystalised once he saw the first tear jump from your eyes. 

You felt Robin’s hand on your shoulder, a thigh squeeze letting you know it was real. He was okay, and you were getting him back. 

She nodded, letting you know it was okay if you wanted to interrupt.

You walked slowly to him, the back of your hand wiping away your tears. You let your body hit the floor, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him. 

“Hi” You whispered as soon as you were a breath away from him. 

“Hi” He gleamed back as soon as he got you close. 

“You’re okay?” You asked, as your voice quivered, desperate to hear him again, talking directly to you. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He nodded as a trembling hand found the back of your neck. 

Dustin smiled before stepping back, leaving you both alone for a moment, a much needed moment. 

You gave in, melting into his arms. You were both crying quietly now, his hands stroking your hair politely, afraid that you were nothing but a mirage, while yours held on thigh to him, scared that you would cause him pain from needing that close. 

“You scared me to death.” You half joked as you chuckled through the crying. 

“I’m the one dying.” He added on to the joke, his lips finally kissing your temple, drinking your perfume in as he did so. 

“Shut it.” You shake your head as you slowly pull back, your hand now cupping his cheek, as your thumb slowly graces the high points of his cheekbone. “I’m getting you home.” 

You thought about kissing him, your lips touching his, melting completely under his touch. But once he leaned in to do so you saw how blood stained his shirt again, your eyes darted from his as you looked down, the red growing wider by the second. 

Fear invaded your body again, a sense of urgency creeping over both of you. 

“Yeah, we should really go” He grunted through gritted teeth. 

-

It had been a blur. 

Nancy grabbed your car keys from your hand, as you helped Eddie inside the car, sitting on the back with him. Cradling him as you talked to him, trying to keep him calm even if you were panicking deep inside. 

Steve arrived at his house before you, opening the door wide open, Robin helping you bring Eddie in. 

They were downstairs now, phoning Hopper, and El and finally Wayne. 

Steve’s bedroom guest had a big window where sun creeped in, a soft breeze helping him cool off as cold sweat dripped from his forehead. You helped him lay on the soft mattress sitting next to him carefully. 

You had enough supplies hidden under the bed, you knew you could stitch him up enough so he would stop hurting, you had enough experience patching people up. 

“Can you take your shirt off?” You asked him with a slight raise of your eyebrows. 

“You already want me naked?” He joked. He tended to do that when he got nervous. You tilted your head as you bent over so you could take the little box full of supplies out of underneath the bed. He chuckled once he saw the box in your hands. He started trying to take his jacket off, with a grunt in his face he shook his head. “I might need help.” He admitted, a grunt on the back of his throat. 

“Thought so.” You muttered under your breath. 

You scootched over to him, your trembling hands becoming steadier as they found the neck of his jacket, pulling it down slowly. At first, Eddie moved, tried to help. Once he felt your hands against his arms however, he stood still, his eyes not letting go of you, and the way your hands moved with such carefulness and tenderness. 

The tips of your fingers were now in between his skin and his shirt, soaked in dirt and blood. 

You looked at him before pulling it up, he nodded, his eyelids halved opened, a cautious smile in his lips. He sucked to his teeth as his skin separated from the stiff cloth, your fingers brushed his abdomen with care, avoiding to trace his skin as soon as you saw the grin of discomfort he had on his lips. His arms ached once they were up in the air, the shirt falling off of them slowly. 

“It looks worse than I thought.” Eddie grunted as he finally looked down. You guided his torso against the cushions that were prepped up, his hand lingered to your arms, the tip of his fingers burrowing into your skin. 

“I’ll clean it up, I’m sure it’s not that bad.” You tried to play it off, a kind smile curved your lips upwards, a little gesture he imitated. 

“You must really like me” He started in a soft whisper. “You keep lying trying to make it all better.” 

You laughed it off, a short chuckle coming out of him. You started soaking the cotton swab with alcohol, the odor of it filling the small gap between the both of you. 

“You know I do.” He smiled in a soft manner, his teeth showing as he tilted his head. “Ready?” 

“Yeah.” 

You smiled kindly before starting to clean his wounds. They were as if someone ripped and crumpled a paper sheet. They weren’t deep, just repetitive bite and claw marks over the same spot. The big one was on his lower abdomen, another one near his collarbone, a gash on his neck. His arms were full of scratches and deep cuts you had to keep clean. 

He didn’t complain. He just let you do whatever you thought you had to, deep down he knew that if he let you take care of him, you’d feel better. And if he was being honest with himself, he enjoyed you dotting and caring for him, you knew it was because he won’t trust anyone else but you. 

“You know you could just wait for Hopper to come right? He’ll probably make me go to a hospital or something.” He whispered in an attempt to get you to look back at him, his eyes not leaving yours. 

“I know, I just…” 

“I’m okay.” He started, reassuring you, trying to get you to stop overcleaning the same spot on his chest. “Hey.” You kept overdoing it, a blank look on your face. “Darling, please…” He begged now, the way his lips said the nickname snapping you out of it. 

“I thought you were dead.” You crumbled down, nervous tears threatening to jump out, your lips quivering as you started to talk. “I thought you were gone, Moon…” 

“I’m not.” He reached out, his hand finally holding yours. “You really think it’s going to be that easy? You’re not getting rid of me.” 

“I buried you… Well there was nothing in there but… I just.”

“I know, I heard you and Wayne talking.” He confessed, his eyes changing, now they were full of melancholy, and a hint of guilt. “I’m sorry by the way…” 

“What the fuck are you on?” The words fell right out of your lips, tilting your head as your tone went higher. 

“I just… I heard you crying. Begging and all that. I’m sorry I almost died and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you everything I wanted to, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I loved you before, I’m sorry I left I-” You interrupted him, as soon as you heard the big word. Your hand tightening around his. 

“You do?” 

“I do what?” He tried to brush it off, the confession had fallen out of his mouth without him thinking too much about it. 

“Love me?” You were embarrassed by how hopeful you sound. His free hand travelled to your cheek, slowly stroking it as he looked deeply into your eyes, falling deeply into them. 

You gave in, your head now resting in the palm of his hand, he slowly pulled you closer to him. Finally closing the distance between the both of you, slowly, then all at once. His lips met yours, a smile appearing on both of them. It was a careful kiss, a needy and soft kiss. It said more things than you both could ever tell eachother. His lips begged for yours to never leave him again, to let him stay by your side. Yours were yelling for him to be patient, and let you love him in a quiet and slow manner. 

You pulled away slowly, your forehead touching his. 

You both knew each other understood. Still, he whispered low enough for you to barely hear him, right before you were interrupted by the door opening. “Of course I do.” 

“Happy you’re back kid.” Hopper’s voice interrupted the both of you, moving your heads so you could look at him. “I’m sorry but you’ll have to answer a couple of questions, then go to the hospital”

“Stay?” Eddie asked, a promise in his voice. 

“Yes. For as long as you let me.” 

He kissed the tip of your nose, before talking again. 

“Forever then.”

[blackenedsnow]

Ooo I have another fun idea! How about a friends with benefits relationship with Beetlejuice which ends up turning into genuine romance?

Like they literally met because Beetlejuice tried marrying them to get free, which doesn't work, and he ends up continuing to seek the reader out because they interest him and they go along with his shenanigans

During all those years they've known each other they've ended up being very close friends and roommates of sorts (who have absolutely slept with each other multiple times and will continue to do so) but they also unconsciously tend to act like an actual, loving couple

Anyone mistakes them for being a couple? Neither or them correct or deny that claim and just go along with it

Then Beetlejuice ends up realizing that he's deeply in love with them and he genuinely wants to marry them, not just to be free anymore

Sorry for rambling, this is how I write my oc's relationship with him and it's so much fun to write :3

dead serious

WARNING: None

PAIRING: Beetlejuice x Reader

NOTE: I love this idea SO much! Thank you for sending this request, and I hope you enjoy! Please feel free to drop more ideas like this anytime—I'd love to bring them to life. <3

SUMMARY: Beetlejuice thought it was just a bit of fun—until one day, he realizes he’s dead serious about you.

It all started with Beetlejuice trying to marry you.

The memory was a bit of a haze, him in that ridiculous striped tux, a minister who’d looked like he’d stepped out of a Halloween party, and a whole lot of confusion. Of course, the whole “marriage for freedom” thing didn’t work out, and somewhere between you foiling his plan and that wicked glint in his eye, Beetlejuice decided you were worth sticking around for.

Over the years, you two had… an arrangement. It was strange, fun, sometimes loud, and weirdly comfortable. You became roommates of sorts, though he tended to crash wherever suited his mood—on the couch, on the floor, in random places all over your home. You’d gone from reluctantly amused by him to genuinely fond of him. The playful insults, the late nights, the times you both ended up in each other’s arms—it all somehow just worked.

And despite both of you calling it “friends with benefits”, anyone who saw you two together assumed you were a couple. You two acted the part without even realizing it: hanging off each other, teasing, little gestures that were oddly affectionate. Beetlejuice’s arm often found its way around your shoulders, or you’d catch him leaning into your space with that wolfish grin of his, not minding any extra closeness.

Every time someone would go, “Oh, so you two are together?” Beetlejuice would just flash his sharp grin and shrug, “They just can’t get enough of me.” And you? You’d just roll your eyes and play along, half-laughing, “Someone’s gotta put up with him, right?”

But then one day, Beetlejuice started realizing that his feelings were a little too real. Maybe it was the time you calmed him down after he’d picked a fight with some Neitherworld spirits, gently telling him to stop being such an idiot as he just grinned at you, too close for comfort. Or maybe it was the time he woke up, half-sprawled across your lap, and you’d fallen asleep right beside him, looking peaceful in a way that made something in his long-dead heart flicker.

But the moment that hit him hardest was the time a stranger came up and assumed you were married.

“Oh, how long have you two been together?” they asked, clearly mistaking the two of you as something much more than a casual fling. Beetlejuice looked at you, wondering if you’d laugh it off as usual, but instead, you just shrugged with a grin, “Feels like forever, doesn’t it, Beej?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, caught off guard by the sudden warmth he felt in his chest. “Forever and then some.”

That was the beginning of the end—he couldn’t deny it anymore. He didn’t just want to mess around, have his fun, or even just be free from the Neitherworld. He wanted you. He wanted to be the one who could make you laugh, who you’d come home to, who you’d stick around for.

You two were in your usual rhythm when it happened. You were in the kitchen, cooking up something simple, and he was leaning against the counter, watching you with a smirk.

“Ya know,” he said, “you’re real cute when you’re domestic.”

You raised an eyebrow, flipping something in the pan. “Thanks, I guess? You’ve seen me make breakfast, like, a hundred times.”

“Yeah, but it’s still cute,” he said, brushing it off like it was no big deal. He got that look in his eye, though—the one that said he was winding up for something.

As you turned to grab something from the fridge, you felt him sidle up behind you. His hands rested on either side of you, and he dipped his head down, voice going surprisingly soft.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

You froze. For a moment, you thought maybe he was joking, this was so random, but something in his tone was different, almost… vulnerable.

“Uh,” you said, turning around to face him, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips, “are you serious?”

He gave a sheepish grin, scratching the back of his head. “As serious as I get, babe! Which, y’know, is pretty serious.” There was a nervous glint in his eye, something real.

You stared at him, feeling a rush of emotions you hadn’t fully let yourself consider before. He was looking at you like he’d just discovered something precious.

“You mean it?” you asked, still not entirely believing it.

He groaned, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, mushy stuff. I mean it, alright? I’m not saying it just to, y’know…” He shrugged, looking off to the side, “get outta the Neitherworld or whatever. I just… want to.”

A warmth spread in your chest. “Well, I… I love you too.”

His eyes lit up, and his grin widened until it looked like it would split his face. “See? We’re a match made in—well, not heaven, but close enough!”

You chuckled, rolling your eyes. “How romantic.”

“Oh, you love it,” he said, pulling you into a kiss that was surprisingly soft, lingering in a way that felt different from all the other times. When you broke apart, he looked at you with a glimmer of something new, something genuine. But still... ew.

“Say, what d’you think about actually making it official?” he asked, voice a little gruffer than usual. “I know the whole marriage thing didn’t pan out last time, but what if we tried again? For real.”

You blinked, taking a moment to process. “You’re not just doing this to get out of—”

“Nah,” he interrupted, waving a hand dismissively. “I mean, yeah, I’d love to get free of the Neitherworld for good, but that’s not why I’m asking now. I’m askin’ ’cause… well, it’s you.”

A lump formed in your throat, and you nodded. “Alright. Let’s do it.”

[meshla-cyarika]

My Love, My Life

Pairing: Tech x Jedi!reader

Word count: 1,063

Tags/warnings: angst, grief/mourning, there's alot of signs of autism shown in Tech in this fic but less obvious ones.

Summary: After finding your name in the Imperial obituary, Tech doesn't know how to move on.

A/N: How many aura points do I lose for crying while I wrote this even though it's not that good? I was originally going to have a part two of the reader's perspective where it's reveal that oh my god you're actually alive, but I dont know whether to do that now purely because of how deeply Tech is shown to be grieving and I kinda don't want to take that away from him. Yk what I mean? But if people say they want a part 2 who am I to deny them? Also, yes, the title is based off of that one ABBA song cuz I was listening to it while I wrote this.

--------------------------------------------------

The Marauder was tingling with tension. The genocide of the Jedi, the betrayal of the Empire, the loss of Crosshair and the gain of Omega all happened over the course of twenty-four hours. Everyone had their own reasons to be on edge.

Tech's mind had been on autopilot for days. As soon as he saw what Master Billaba's men did to her and how quickly Crosshair became bloodthirsty for all Jedi, time seemed to stop. He had frantically typed on his datapad to try and find an explanation for such a brutal attack. When Tech saw that it was a full fledged genocide, he swore his heart stopped beating for a second. The only thing that kept him from having a panic attack was his advanced biology.

When they got to the Marauder and fled Kamino, Tech was instantly searching the Imperial database for the list of the dead. He never thought he'd have to check an obituary to find your name, but there you were. Jedi Knight. Executed on Lothal. The reference image they used for you was haunting. To see you stood there, just so alive, with the word executed next to you was enough to make bile stir in his stomach.

It didn't feel real. Tech looked at your information in the obituary again and again and again, but his mind just couldn't process the information. He felt like the only way he could believe you were dead is if he saw your body laying before him and he could never bring himself to do that.

Everyone noticed the difference in their brother. Even Omega, who hadn't even been with them that long, noticed his irregular behaviour. His brothers were puzzled by his reaction to their new living  situation. Out of all of them, Tech should be the least likely to get emotional over this. Then again, change has alway been a problem with Tech. It always takes longer for him to process things like this.

They began working for a trandoshan called Cid to do some seedy work. It was obvious why Hunter made them work for her, obvious to Tech anyway. It was because being sent out on missions that have various conditions is all they ever knew. The concept of settling down on a planet and ignoring the war raging on outside is foreign to them.

It's been ten months, three weeks and five days, since your death. Tech's behaviour hasn't changed and his siblings have assumed it's all because of Crosshair up until this point. Tech had been understanding with Crosshair on Kamino and held only mild hatred for his decision.

No. This is something else entirely.

Hunter's heart aches at seeing his brother's despair and having no idea what's making him feeling this way. Tech being Tech, will never say.

He finally snapped when one of Cid's workers, Phee, persistently kept making moves on him. Tech couldn't help the pure emotion radiating off of him in waves, as he shouted and yelled at the woman. It should be you laughing at his sarcasm, it should be you calling him pet names, it should be you with him. He just wants you and that's the one thing he can't possibly have and it hurts, it makes it feel like his heart has been ripped straight out of chest.

Tech stormed off to the Marauder which was a mistake, because everything in there reminds him of you. Your first kiss on his bunk, your late night conversations in the cockpit, your shared experiments at his desk.

He wants to scream and yell at how unfair everything is. Out of everyone in the galaxy, why you? Why did death have to take you? His perfect cyar'ika who could do no wrong and managed to cling to the little faith you had left through the most devastating battles.

Grief is something Tech has experienced only a handful of times. The feelings still feel new and uncertain and that unnerves him. Tech's emotions are usually filed away in organised compartments that only he understands. Now, everything is overflowing and overlapping. Everything is too much.

It's like a bad dream. He doesn't want to be here anymore. He wants the comfort of a familiar routine, back when his biggest concern was what days him and his cyar'ika would be on shore leave at the same time.

Tech sinks down into the far corner of the bunk room, ripping off his goggles and letting them clatter agaisnt the durasteel floor. He draws his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around his shins, before leaning his forehead agaisnt his kneecaps.

The last time he found himself in this position was back when he was a cadet. As much as he tried to ignore it, the regs had gotten to him. 99 had found him curled up in the corner of an embryo lab. He had said nothing at first, just sank down next to him and let him know that he was there if he needed him. Tech found himself wondering for years why he couldn't have been like everyone else, why the Kaminoans made his mind work this way. Tech would give anything to be "normal". He never asked for any of this.

A set of footsteps stomp their way up the ramp and Tech doesn't bother looking up. He's prepared for the demanding yells, the overbearing questions and the looks of outrage on his brothers' faces. What he isn't prepared for is someone sliding down the wall next to him. Tech almost flinches at the feeling of someone placing a hand on his back and tenses all the muscles in his body instantly. Eventually, his body goes back to being lax and a shaky sigh leaves Tech's lips, as he leans into his brother's side.

Tech doesn't want to talk about you to his brothers. If he talks about it, then it's real. Your body is rotting on Lothal and he'll never see you again. He can't face the reality of it. It's too real. He can't do it.

The hand on his back rubs soothing circles into his spine. I'm here, if you need me.

Someday, he will tell the tale of his beautiful cyar'ika and you'll become an honoured part of their mismatched family, even though they had never met you. You will forever live on in his heart.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR CONFRONTATIONS & ARGUMENTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

how long have you known? and you never told me?

i'm not going to take this anymore.

tell me the truth or i swear to god...

you owe me!

you're not listening!

i saved your life, and this is how you thank me?

when were you going to tell me the truth?

you made me look like a fool out there!

i don't have to put up with this.

good fucking riddance.

you'll never see me again.

do you hear yourself?

i was your only friend.

i never loved you.

get out and stay out.

that was incredibly rude of you.

are you fucking serious?

you're lying!

i'm not dealing with this today.

you think you're so perfect.

is this what you want?

keep lying to yourself.

don't let the door hit you on the way out.

i never should have trusted you.

this is all your fault! don't put this on me!

you see what happens when you don't listen to me?

you're unbelievable.

cut it out!

you're doing this to annoy me.

that's nice. real mature of you.

they're dead because of you!

get the hell away from me.

i'm leaving in the morning.

you think you're so great.

would you just listen to me for two seconds?

i said i would help you!

what part of that do you not understand?

you're so stupid.

i wasn't finished speaking.

are you going to interrupt me again?

i can't believe i wasted my life on you.

this wasn't supposed to happen.

i never should have believed you.

you led me on for nothing.

this is the thanks i get?

every time i try to help, you just push me away!

then fine! i'm leaving!

is that what you want? is that what you really want?

we could have made this work if you actually tried!

you don't care about me. you don't care about anything but yourself.

i never want to see you again.

i swear to god, if you take one more step...

burn in hell.

you broke my heart.

we're supposed to be a team!

what are you trying to prove?

i didn't mean for this to happen!

you're not capable of handling this alone! you need to rely on other people!

look around! this is all your fault!

if you would just get your head out of your ass...

i wasn't finished.

knock it off!

you sicken me.

sorry to disappoint.

you're a fucking nightmare to work with.

i'm tired of your bullshit.

you treat me like shit.

you could have stopped this!

you can't just run off like that!

i thought i told you to stay here!

i was wrong about you.

and here i thought i could trust you.

they warned me you were hard to work with.

would you just leave me alone?

we're not doing this here.

just shut up!

you thought wrong.

you're making a huge mistake.

get off me!

i'm sick and tired of this.

[newobsessionweekly]

Diamonds and dreams

Tim Bradford x Buckley!reader

Crossover The Rookie x 911

Fandoms: The Rookie, 911

Summary: Tim teams up with your brother, Buck, to plan the proposal. You get hurt in the process, unintentionally, but it's for a good cause.

A/N: Another crossover, and I don't think I'll stop here. I love so much both Tim and Buck. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this and I'm open for requests! I'm sorry if I made some mistakes while writing, english is not my first language, but I'm trying to improve. Thank you so much for your support so far. Take care of yourselves, bubs! I appreciate everything single one of you! Lots of love! ❤️

Warnings: Swearing ? Maybe. Bunch of fluff and banter anyways. Not proofread yet

Fluff | A bit of angst

Requested: No

Words: 4.9k

Requests are open for Tim and Buck.

GIF not mine, credits to the owner.

For the past three years, your life took unexpected twists, one after one. You didn't know back then how impactful a police officer doing his job would be to your life. You never expected to fall for the all-so-serious officer, whose indignation spoke volumes in the presence of firefighters.

Tim had only one opinion about the other branch of first responders — reckless, not so sharp, and definitely idiots, but they mean well. That was before meeting you.

After a massive earthquake hit LA, the chaos that followed can't be described. People running around looking for the close ones, screaming, and a lot of pain. LAPD was sent on the streets to maintain order while LAFD rushed to rescue everyone in need. They were hand in hand and, for the first time in his life, Tim was following the orders of a firefighter— you.

He complained at first, but when he understood you were more than a reckless woman, he obeyed. Back then, Tim saw in you a seriousness that made him eat his words. The way you pushed yourself aside for the safety of the civilians, the way you disobeyed the book in a risky situation, questioning everything you knew for the people. You allowed him to help, and he was there by your side the whole time, mesmerised by the way you gave everything you had, pushed away any fear and doubts and crawled into wrecked precincts to save every single one of them.

There was a huge difference between the two branches of first responders. LAPD was trained to save the law, maintain order, protect the vulnerable and punish the guilty, while LAFD was trained to protect and save regarding the guilty and they've seen unimaginable things, making them aware the life is short and you need to cherish it every second.

And when you showed him that ugly side of your job, Tim never saw you the same again. Drawn by your determination and dedication to save every soul and by your love and beauty you carried around, he fell for you, hard.

But he never accepted the real dangers of your job. Actually, he never accepted that your dedication was so profound, that you'd give your life to save another without second thoughts. He couldn't bare the thought of losing you some day due to your 'dedication'.

You’re both standing in the middle of the living room, the air thick with tension that’s been building for weeks. Tonight’s argument was inevitable, ignited by the underlying fear and frustration that’s been simmering beneath the surface.

Tim’s heart pounds in his chest as he looks at you, his concern turning into frustration. He knows that firefighting is dangerous, but seeing you take unnecessary risks feels like a constant weight on his shoulders.

“Damn it, Y/N!” he exclaims, his voice loud and filled with anger. “You can’t keep ignoring orders and putting yourself in danger! You’re a firefighter, not a one-woman hero team!”

You clench your fists, feeling defensive, his words sounding like an accusation. “I know what I’m doing, Tim. Sometimes you have to take risks to save lives.”

“Fire isn’t something predictable,” Tim interjects, his voice firm. “When you're dealing with an armed suspect, you can see the next move in his eyes. But with fire? It's nothing like that and, when it happens, it's probably too late."

His words cut deep, and tears fill your eyes as you try to make him understand. You feel misunderstood, judged, and it hurts.

“Predictable or not, I trust my instincts,” you shoot back, your voice shaking. “Sometimes you have to go with your gut, Tim, not just follow orders blindly.”

"But at what cost?” Tim retorts, his face flushed with frustration. “How many times do we have to argue about this before you realize that you’re not invincible?”

Your eyes fill with tears, the weight of his words hitting you hard. “I’m not saying I’m invincible,” you reply, tears streaming down your face. “I just believe in doing whatever it takes to save lives, even if it means bending the rules sometimes.”

“Bending the rules?” Tim’s voice cracks, hurt evident in his expression. “Y/N, this isn’t a game. Lives are at stake, including yours!”

You’re openly crying now, the tears blurring your vision as you try to make him understand. “I need you to trust me, Tim. Trust that I know what I’m doing.”

“I need to be able to trust that you’ll come home safely,” Tim says, his voice softer now, filled with genuine concern. “I can’t keep worrying every time you’re on shift, wondering if you’re going to make it home in one piece.”

"But this is who I am, Tim. I can’t change that.”

Tim’s thoughts swirl with a mix of love, fear, and frustration as he watches you, torn between wanting to protect you and knowing he can’t control your choices. “I need some time to think,” he finally says, his voice filled with resignation.

Without another word, you grab your bag and head for the door, leaving Tim standing alone in the living room, his face a mask of regret and worry. As you make your way to Lucy’s apartment, the weight of the argument pressing down on you, you can’t shake the feeling that something has changed between you and Tim, something that might be impossible to repair.

You stand before Lucy’s door, eyes red-rimmed and cheeks streaked with tears. With a shaky breath, you knock softly as your heart is pounding in your chest. The door swings open to reveal Lucy’s shocked face, her eyes widening at your disheveled appearance.

“Y/N? What the hell happened?” Lucy’s voice is filled with concern as she wraps you in a comforting embrace, feeling the tension in your body.

Tamara rushes in, eyes wide with worry. "Are you okay?”

As Lucy's comforting embrace envelops you, a mixture of relief and despair washes over you. You lean into her warmth, grateful for the solace she provides amidst the chaos of your emotions. Tamara's worried expression only adds to the weight of the situation, highlighting the gravity of the rift between you and Tim.

"I’m so sorry,” you stammer, tears threatening anew. “I didn’t know where else to go. I can't go to Buck like this and –"”

Lucy steps back, creating space for you to enter, "You're always welcome here, Y/N. You know that."

Lucy leads you to the couch and wraps her arm around your shoulders as you found a small measure of comfort in her presence. The unspoken understanding between you eases some of the ache in your heart, reminding you that you're not alone in this struggle.

Tamara places a comforting hand on your knee, her eyes filled with empathy as Lucy spoke, “Come on, tell us what happened."

You take a shaky breath, trying to steady your voice as you recount the intense argument with Tim. “We had a fight, a really bad one. He said he needed some time to think.”

Your love for Tim is boundless, a deep-rooted connection that fills your heart with warmth and joy. Every moment spent with him is a treasure, each shared smile and whispered promise a testament to the depth of your affection. And being so far from him, it was a nightmare. Leaving so abruptly, both of your anger and frustration bottled inside, this tore you apart.

Tamara’s eyes narrow, her tone incredulous. “Tim said that? What could possibly have happened?”

“He thinks I’m reckless, that I put myself and my team in danger,” you explain, the sting of his words still fresh in your mind.

The pain of your fight weighs heavily on your soul, a sharp ache that refuses to fade. His words cut deep, leaving you reeling with a sense of loss and betrayal. The thought of losing him, of facing a future without his love, is almost unbearable.

Lucy shakes her head, her eyes filled with empathy. “Tim’s always been by-the-book. He values rules and order. But being a firefighter isn’t always black and white.”

You nod, wiping away tears with the back of your hand. “Exactly. But he just won't listen.”

Lucy sighs, her eyes softening with understanding. “Tim loves you. He’s just scared. Scared of losing you.” She can see the pain in your eyes, the uncertainty about the future of your relationship.

“I know,” you sniffle, trying to hold back the tears. “But it’s not just about him being scared. It’s about understanding who I am and what I do.”

Tamara nods, her expression thoughtful. “Sometimes love isn’t enough, Y/N. Sometimes two people can love each other deeply but still be incompatible in some ways.”

“I don’t want to lose him,” you say, feeling the weight of her words. “But I also don’t want to lose myself.” You grapple with the conflicting emotions, torn between love and self-respect.

Lucy chuckles softly, trying to lighten the mood. She stands up, heading to the kitchen to prepare some tea. “You won't lose him. He’s stubborn as hell, but he loves you. You know that."

Tamara smirks, leaning back on the couch. “Well, men are from Mars, right? We’ll never fully understand them.”

Lucy laughs, raising her hands in mock surrender. “True that. But hey, if anyone can knock some sense into Tim, it’s you, Y/N.”

Tamara smirks, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she leans back on the couch. “You know, Y/N, I like you more and more. Just so you know, everything you’ve said tonight will be used against Tim tomorrow.” She winks playfully, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. “Lucy’s going to make his shift a living hell.”

Lucy chuckles, her eyes dancing with amusement. “Oh, you bet I will. He won’t know what hit him.” She laughs, the tension in the room further dissipating with their playful banter.

You can’t help but laugh along with them, grateful for the light-hearted moment amidst the emotional chaos. “Just promise me you’ll go easy on him. He’s still my guy, after all.”

Yet, even in the midst of your despair, your love for him remains steadfast. It is a beacon of hope in the darkness, a guiding light that keeps you tethered to him, even when the distance between you feels insurmountable.

Tamara raises an eyebrow, her grin widening. “No promises,” Lucy says with a playful shrug.

You shake your head, chuckling at their antics. “Alright, alright. Just remember, I’ll have to deal with him after you two are done.”

After a moment of silence, Tamara's face brightens, an idea forming. “You know what we need? A girls’ night. We could all use a little distraction, right?”

Lucy grins, nodding in agreement. “Absolutely. Some wine, some movies, and some girl talk. It’s just what the doctor ordered.”

You smile weakly, grateful for their support. “That sounds nice.”

Meanwhile, across town, Tim and Buck find themselves in the comfort of Tim's living room. With beers in hand and the soft glow of the TV providing background noise, both men seem to have left the weight of the day behind them, engrossed in their own world of laughter and banter.

But Tim's thoughts are consumed by the image of you, tears staining your cheeks as you walked out the door. Each memory of your tearful departure cuts him deeply, a sharp pang of guilt and sorrow gnawing at his heart.

Buck takes a swig of his beer, glancing over at him with a curious expression. “So, how did the fight go?”

Tim sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I think I overstepped a little. She was crying and she left. It broke me to see her like that and let her go."

Seeing you hurt because of him breaks him in ways he never imagined. He would give anything to erase the hurt he's caused, to mend the fractures in your relationship. But he knows that sometimes love requires sacrifice, even if it means bearing the weight of your pain.

Buck nods understandingly, setting his beer down on the coffee table. "It's all part of the plan, Tim. We knew it would be tough, but it's for the best." He tries to reassure Tim, understanding the struggle his friend is going through.

Tim looks at Buck, gratitude in his eyes. "I know, I know. It's just hard, you know? Seeing her hurt and knowing I'm the cause of it, even if it's for a good reason."

Buck places a comforting hand on Tim's shoulder. "At least this will buy us some time. Where's she now?"

Tim smiles slightly, the tension easing from his shoulders. "At Lucy's. She texted me when Y/N got there. She'll be crashing on Lucy's couch."

Buck chuckles, picking up his beer again. "Good, at least she's safe. Lucy will take care of her. She always does."

Tim nods, a grateful smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, Lucy's been great. I'm glad she's there for Y/N."

The two men sit in companionable silence for a moment, the weight of their secret plan hanging in the air between them. It's a plan born out of love and a desire to create the perfect proposal for you, but it comes with its own set of challenges and emotions.

Buck's voice is filled with excitement. "You know, once all of this is over, and you've proposed, it's going to be amazing. Y/N is going to be over the moon."

Tim smiles, the vision of his future with you filling his mind. "I know, Buck. I can't wait to make her my wife."

Amidst the pain, there's a profound love that anchors him, a love so deep it eclipses the darkness of your current strife. You're more than just his partner; you're his rock, his solace, his reason for waking up each day with a smile. Your laughter brightens his darkest moments, your touch soothes his weary soul, and your presence fills his life with a sense of purpose and joy he never thought possible.

The two men raise their beers in a toast, their smiles reflecting the hope and love that fills their hearts.

Tim glances over at Lucy, his voice filled with concern. "How's Y/N holding up? I haven't heard from her since that night."

He can't shake the self-loathing that grips him, the regret for letting things escalate to this point.

Lucy raises an eyebrow, a playful smirk on her lips. "A bit pissed at you, but she's safe."

"I hate myself for that. I really don't like this whole...situation. Especially letting her go and forcing her to sleep on your couch."

He never wanted to hurt you, never intended for things to unravel like this. And the idea of you sleeping on Lucy's couch, away from him, fills him with a sense of emptiness he can't bear.

She chuckles softly, her tone teasing. "You could've called, you know. Women like that kind of thing."

Tim lets out a sigh, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, I figured as much. I just thought... well, some space might be good."

Lucy's teasing only adds to his discomfort, her playful jabs hitting a little too close to home. He knows he should have done a lot of things, but fear and uncertainty held him back, clouding his judgment with doubt.

Lucy raises an eyebrow, “Space, huh? Sounds like a classic Bradford move. But you might want to pick up the phone. Y/N deserves to know you’re not pushing her away.”

Tim chuckles, shaking his head. "Trust me, I plan to. I just needed some time to... you know, plan everything out, to get it right."

Lucy grins, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "But you better make this worth it, you hear me?" She nudges him playfully. "And soon. She might love you and might be willing to wait for you, but don't test her patience."

Tim smiles, gratitude evident in his gaze. "I will, Lucy. And thanks, for everything."

Lucy waves him off with a chuckle. "Don't mention it. Just remember to thank me after she says yes." She winks at him, her smile warm and supportive.

You've been camping on the girls' couch for the past three days. It wasn't all that bad; some time off work was just what you needed, and your fight with Tim allowed you to sort through some old stuff.

When you were about to drift off to sleep again, Lucy burst into the living room. "Alright, couch potato, time to get up!”

You groaned, pulling a pillow over your face. “Five more minutes, Lucy.”

With a chuckle, Lucy yanked the pillow away and extended her hand. “Come on, Y/N. It’s time to get some fresh air. You can’t stay on my couch forever.”

Reluctantly, you accepted Lucy’s help to sit up. “What happened to ‘you’re always welcome here’? My free stay at Hotel Lucy is over?”

Lucy laughed. “Exactly. It’s check-out time, Missy.”

You smirked, slipping on your sneakers. "Well, send the bill to Bradford; he's the only one at fault for this."

With her keys in hand, Lucy grinned. “How about a ride along? A little patrol action might be good for you.”

Raising an eyebrow teasingly, you countered, “Trying to get rid of me, Lucy?”

She chuckled. “Just trying to help you get some fresh air. And maybe a little distraction.”

As you reluctantly rose from the comfort of Lucy's couch, a whirlwind of emotions churned within you. The past few days had been a rollercoaster of hurt, confusion, and a desperate longing to mend things with Tim. But amidst the chaos, there was a glimmer of hope – hope that today could mark the beginning of reconciliation, of healing the wounds that had torn you apart.

“Alright, alright. But only because I’m craving some fresh, questionable coffee from the station.”

“Deal. But you’re buying the donuts!” Lucy teased.

“Deal. But only if they have sprinkles.”

Suddenly, Lucy stopped and appraised you, shaking her head. “Oh no, no. You can’t possibly leave the house like that. Off to the shower with you, you’re starting to smell like my couch.”

Stepping into the shower, the warm water washing away the remnants of doubt and insecurity as you made a silent vow to yourself. Today would be the beginning of a new chapter for you both, a chance to rebuild what had been broken and to forge a stronger, more resilient bond.

You returned to find some of your clothes laid out on the couch, courtesy of Lucy and Tamara. Raising an eyebrow, you turned to Lucy. “Don’t you think that’s a little bit extra?”

It wasn't exactly what you'd wear for patrolling, but considering Tim probably handed them to Lucy, you couldn't really complain.

Just then, Tamara emerged from her bedroom with a smirk. “You should be thankful I didn’t pick the outfit.”

You chuckled, wondering why she wasn’t at school. “Fair enough. Shouldn’t you be at school by now?”

Tamara waved it off, pulling out her makeup kit. “I’ll miss the first period to do your makeup. You owe me.”

Sighing, you looked between Lucy and Tamara. “Come on, girls. It’s just a day of patrolling. Nothing special.”

Lucy shook her head, her eyes serious. “No, hun. Today you’ll be right next to Tim. Breathing in his neck. You need to show him what he’s missing.”

The engine's soft hum reverberates through the car as Tim navigates the streets, the tension inside as thick as the fog rolling in from the bay. Lucy rides shotgun, her mischievous glances back at you adding to the palpable unease. Seated in the back, you stare out the window, attempting to distract yourself with the passing scenery, anything to escape the suffocating silence.

Lucy's voice cuts through the tension like a knife, her cheeriness a stark contrast to the heavy atmosphere. "Hey, Bradford," she chirps. "How about we make a quick stop for some coffee and donuts? My treat."

Tim's eyes flicker to the rearview mirror, briefly meeting yours before he nods. "Sure, sounds good."

Pulling into a local coffee shop's parking lot, Lucy practically leaps out of the car, leaving you and Tim alone for a fleeting moment.

"You could've called," you murmur softly, finally breaking the suffocating silence. "Three days, Tim."

Tim's grip tightens on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. "I know, Y/N. I'm sorry. It's... it's complicated."

Before you can delve deeper, Lucy returns with a tray laden with coffee and a box of donuts. She hands you a cup before settling into her seat, her eyes glinting with an inscrutable knowingness.

As Tim lifts his coffee to his lips, you notice the slight tremble in his hand. "Everything okay, Tim?" Lucy inquires, her innocence a thin veil over her ulterior motives.

Tim clears his throat, averting his gaze. "Yeah, just a bit tired, I guess."

Lucy's smirk is unmistakable as she reaches for a donut. "Well, these should help with that."

Taking a sip of your coffee, you feel its warmth spreading through you, but it does little to dispel the tension in the air. However, there's a shift—a subtle change in the atmosphere. The silence is no longer suffocating; instead, it's pregnant with anticipation, each breath heavy with unspoken words.

Finally, Tim speaks, his voice laced with vulnerability. "Y/N, about the fight... I never meant to hurt you. I just needed some time to sort things out."

You meet his gaze, the sincerity in his eyes tugging at something deep within you. There's a weight to his words, a heaviness that speaks volumes about the distress he's been wrestling with.

As the shop continues its journey, the tension remains, but it's tempered now by a sense of curiosity and cautious hope. Unbeknownst to you, Tim's anxiety isn't solely about your relationship, and Lucy's scheming grin betrays her satisfaction with how her plan is unfolding.

Throughout the day, Tim's behavior had been perplexing, he carefully avoided any calls that hinted at danger. It felt as though he was intentionally shielding you from harm, a protective barrier wrapped around you even as you yearned for the adrenaline rush of the job.

But the tranquility of the day shattered with Nolan's urgent call for backup. The gravity of the situation hit you like a sledgehammer, sending a jolt of adrenaline coursing through your veins.

“Dispatch, this is Officer Nolan, requesting backup at my location. Officers under fire, need immediate assistance,” Nolan’s voice is clear and urgent.

Without hesitation, Tim accepts the call, urgency in his voice for the first time that day. “Roger that, Nolan. We’re en route.”

Tim accelerates towards the scene, the Griffith Observatory coming into view. The iconic building stands majestically atop the hill, its silhouette against the clear blue sky adding a surreal beauty to the unfolding situation.

As you arrived on the scene, the deafening sound of gunfire filled the air, drowning out any semblance of normalcy. Lucy and Tim sprang into action, their movements swift and purposeful as they navigated the chaos.

"Stay in the car, Y/N!" Tim's command pierced through the chaos, his tone leaving no room for debate.

But as you sat there, the abrupt silence that followed sent a chill down your spine. Lucy's panicked cry for Tim shattered the stillness, sending your heart into overdrive, “Bradford!”

Ignoring Tim's orders, you bolted from the shop, desperation fuelling your every step. The scene before you was a tableau of chaos and confusion, the beauty of the Observatory juxtaposed against the violence that unfolded within its walls.

You searched frantically for any sign of Tim or Lucy, all you found was Tim's abandoned radio, a silent witness to the turmoil that had unfolded.

The setting sun cast long shadows, casting an eerie glow over the scene, a reminder of the fragility of life in the face of danger. And the tension is electric, like the calm before a storm. Tim’s voice crackles through the radio, cutting through the silence.

“Y/N Buckley, can you hear me?"

Tim's heart races with anticipation as he waits for your response. He's nervous, hoping that you'll hear him clearly. He wonders if you'll be able to sense the nerves in his voice, hoping that you'll understand the significance of what he's about to do.

Grinning, you grab the radio. “Loud and clear, Bradford” you replied, your voice steady but your pulse quickening with each passing second.

A pause stretches out, thick with anticipation. “Close your eyes, Buckley. And this time, try not to defy a direct order.”

Rolling your eyes but intrigued, you humor him and shut your eyes, taking a deep breath of the crisp air, feeling a rush of excitement coursing through your veins. You focused on the sound of Tim's voice, letting it wash over you like a warm embrace as he began to speak.

"You and I, Y/N, we’re a wild ride,” Tim starts, his voice unexpectedly tender. “Who would’ve thought our journey would lead us here, to this crazy, beautiful moment?”

As Tim's voice crackled through the radio, a surge of nervous energy swept through him. He had rehearsed his words a thousand times in his mind, but now that the moment was upon him, he couldn't help but feel a pang of doubt.

The weight of the ring in his hand served as a reminder of the gravity of the situation, filling him with both excitement and trepidation.

A soft touch grazes your hand, sending a thrill up your spine. Your heart pounds in your chest.

“You challenge me, drive me nuts, and somehow make me a better man,” he continues through the radio, a hint of a smile in his voice. “And damn it, I love you for it.”

You can’t help but smile, a warmth spreading through you. As you listen, you feel tears prickling at the corners of your closed eyes. Tim's words resonate with you, stirring something within yourself that you can't quite put into words.

You want to open your eyes, to see the man you love more clearly, but you also want to savor this moment a little while longer.With each word, you feel your heart swell with love for Tim. His vulnerability, his honesty, it all takes your breath away, leaving you utterly captivated.

"Open your eyes, sweetheart," Tim's voice breaks through your reverie, pulling you back to the present moment.

With a flutter of excitement, you obey, slowly parting your eyelids to reveal the sight before you. There is Tim, his eyes filled with love and longing as he slowly kneels down before your eyes, a small velvet box in his hand. The sight of him, vulnerable and trembling, fills you with a sense of awe and gratitude as the setting sun casts a golden halo around him, the cityscape stretching out behind him in a breathtaking panorama.

Tears of joy well in your eyes as you take in the sight of the ring in his hand, your heart overflowing with love for the man who means the world to you.

“Y/N Buckley,” Tim’s voice wavers just a bit, “will you marry me?”

For a moment, you are stunned into silence, your mind reeling with the weight of his question. You feel a surge of emotion welling up inside, threatening to spill over at any moment. This is it, the moment you've been dreaming of, the moment you've been waiting for since you laid eyes on Tim, few years back.

Tim chuckles, a nervous but endearing laugh. “I’ll take that as a yes?”

"Yes, Tim. A thousand times, yes!" your voice choked with tears, as your words ring out into the night, a declaration of love and commitment that echoes through the air.

With a trembling hand, Tim slips the ring onto your finger, sealing their promise with a simple yet profound gesture. As your eyes meet once more, you share a moment of perfect understanding, a silent acknowledgment of the love that binds you together.

Without another word, you're in each other's arms, holding onto each other tightly as if trying to make up for all the time you've lost. In that moment, nothing else matters but the overwhelming love you share, a love that has weathered every storm and emerged stronger than ever before.

Tim's lips meet yours in a tender kiss, a sweet yet passionate embrace that speaks volumes more than words ever could. You cling to each other, lost in the intensity of your emotions, your hearts beating as one in the darkness.

As you pull away, breathless and flushed with emotion, you share a smile that lights up the night. In each other's arms, you find solace and strength, knowing that no matter what the future holds, you'll face it together, hand in hand, heart to heart.

Nolan chimes in through the radio, his voice filled with laughter. "Bradford, are we breaking out the champagne or what?"

Tim's smile widens at Nolan's words, and he glances over at you with a playful twinkle in his eye. "Hold off on the champagne, Nolan," he replies, unable to suppress a laugh. "She said yes."

Murmuring softly, Tim leaned in close to your ear. "I guess I didn’t mess this one up, huh?"

You chuckled softly, leaning into his embrace. "Not this time, Bradford."

[rin-sith]

Let me release some character headcanons into the wild real quick, specifically about Odysseus and his family. And by headcanons I mean my canon-compliant (as far as I'm aware) interpretation of their characters and arcs.

Penelope: A quiet, gentle, book-smart girl underestimated by everyone and considered "plain" especially next to Helen. Odysseus was the one who saw her for the interesting amazing person she was, hence why she fell in love with him.

She's logical, introverted, a bit of a nerd, and a little shy; she prefers to remain in the background instead of the spotlight. When Odysseus is away for 20 years and she deals with the suitors Penelope grows to be more resolute and bold, having to step into a leadership role even if she doesn't prefer to do so. She can kick ass if she has to (both verbally and physically) but doesn't enjoy doing it herself (setting her apart from the usual Spartan.) Even over the years, she remains introverted, preferring her books and her son's company over politics, battles, and annoying strangers.

She admires Odysseus for his bold leadership, his talent for improvising and handling crowds and attention, his cunning, and his battle prowess, the fact that he has and would never diminish or humiliate himself to impress or please anyone (even her), as well as his undying loyalty. Moreover, his bold, adventurous energy has always made each day an adventure and without him, her life feels really empty and dull. She's always been the steady, level-headed one in the relationship who doesn't shy away from telling him when he might be making a mistake and grounding and supporting him when he needs it.

Odysseus: A bold, somewhat reckless, confident boy who grew into a decisive, cunning king. Penelope was the one who saw his good heart underneath his carefree and somewhat condescending demeanor, acknowledging him for the well-intentioned person he really is hence why he fell in love with her.

He's got the smartest mouth in all of Greece and can talk his way in or out of *almost* anything. He's more street-smart than book-smart, able to improvise, lead, and think on his feet. He's unafraid to speak up and talk back (even to the gods), which has gotten him in trouble countless times (not that he'd ever stop.) During his 20-year-long ordeal, he naturally became more ruthless, less over-confident, and more willing to do what was necessary to reach his goal, but he never actually lost either his good heart or his true values, only covered them up because he thought he had to. Before and after he was a natural leader and diplomat, a cunning and strong warrior, and someone who isn't afraid to be in the spotlight and take responsibility when he has to. If anything, he tends to blame himself too much. Although after his return his trauma and bad experiences leave him more hesitant and insecure in his leadership than he's ever been; it takes a while and a lot of support for him to grow back into it and stop seeing himself as the monster and the one who is to blame for the deaths of his entire crew.

In Penelope, he admires her intelligence, her steadiness, her undying loyalty, and the fact that she will always ground him, call him out, and support him in often the same breath. He's always been the decisive one in the relationship with better people skills, but without her reassurance that he's doing the right thing, he is only half as confident in any decision made. He finds strength and assurance in knowing that she would follow him to the ends of the earth, but also keep him from straying onto the wrong path without hesitation.

Telemachus: While inheriting his father's bold, fearless attitude, he has also his mother's gentleness and dislike for politics. Growing up seeing how dejected and miserable she was because of his father's absence, he has developed a positive, sunshine attitude, also to brighten her life a little.

He's both naive and not at the same time; being bullied by the suitors for so long, he knows human depravity very well, but being stuck in Ithaca, he doesn't understand the sacrifice and pain that comes with being a hero. He's somewhat of an ambivert—book-smart like his mother but also fearless like his father. Mostly he's just a kind, good person who wants to bring light to the people in his life that he cares about and will always choose to greet the world with open arms when possible.

When his father returns, he becomes the new light in his life as well, helping him to open his heart again after what he's been through and giving him new hope in the way that Polites used to. He admires his mother's intelligence and dedication, and her endurance and ability to step out of her comfort zone and confront bad people when she has to. In his father, he admires his leadership, his loyalty, his endurance, his battle prowess, and ruthlessness—his ability to do what he has to do. Telemachus sees his own inability to be so ruthless as a shortcoming, even though Odysseus is more than happy that his son is not like him in this regard and tries to shield him from anything that may change this.