#but for people to hate it because of that… like yes maybe it’s disappointing on that one point
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medusas-daughter · 3 days ago
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In the case against Amber Heard, Depp's team went to great lengths to hide evidence against their client, they spent millions of dollars making sure it stays off the net, and his fans spent a shit ton of money afterwards to uncover that evidence in the greatest bamboozle I've ever seen in my short life. It would have been hilarious if it wasn't so tragic. They rode so hard for their childhood hero and paid so much money to get that hidden evidence uncovered only to find hospital records of every thing they said Amber Heard lied about. Meanwhile Amber Heard and her team barely had peanuts compared to the wealth of resources Depp had.
Baldoni's Team, which are the same people btw, aren't even doing that. Because they've learned that the people are frothing at the mouth waiting for the chance to rip a woman apart. They know that even with Blake's and her husband's billions of dollars, and Baldoni's far far lesser status than Depp, she's still just a woman. They don't even need to come up with a strategy or hide evidence or bribe judges. They just need one or two people to say "uhm that d list actor i saw on like one cw show and maybe heard about his podcast like once is like soooooo hot I'd also throw myself at him and then destroy my reputation my career my family my image and chances of future employment when he rejects me because I'm just a dumb blonde, an aging dumb blonde" and the Internet just runs with it. I am disgusted and so fucking disappointed.
The number of women who were told "that man isn't harassing you, you're projecting your little crush on him" or "he's not catcalling you he's giving you a compliment you're obviously fishing for and when he doesn't compliment you anymore you'll start crying because it will mean you're old and ugly" or "that man didn't rape you, you just regretted sleeping with him because it makes you a slut so you're crying rape to save face" is heartbreaking. I can say with certainty that every single one of us either knows one of these women or is one of these women.
And to all the pick mes going to war for Baldoni's ego while his team pops champagne for the easiest money they've ever made, you are either one of these women or you will be at some point in your life. Especially with the way the patriarchy is taking back control right now.
This is why I never liked dunking on girlbossism or imperfect feminists. Because the patriarchy used very valid criticisms to roll us all the way back to just hating women. Feminists were looking for a better way to do things. The rest were just hating on women.
"Blake Lively is the epitome of white feminism and girlboss feminism therefore I hate her and don't believe her when she's been abused" do you fucking hear yourself? Women don't owe you a perfect record of activism to be worthy of human decency.
Is Blake Lively a perfect self aware social justice warrior? No. Is she a victim who deserve justice? Yes.
Was Amber Heard the perfect victim who took every assault lying down then cried a single aesthetically pleasing tear before stoically forgiving her abuser and rapist and embracing him one last time because he's just a hurt man an she's the jezebel that pushed him to anger? No because she's fucking human and she did not deserve any of what was done to her during her marriage or after.
It is disgusting. And all the accounts tearing Blake Lively appart then complaining about Trump's presidency, I beg you to ask yourself why it has become so easy to discredit a woman. It's not a coincidence. It is sinister. And I am not exaggerating when I say it's an omen of a very dark future for women.
Celebrities have always been a microcosme of society. They're mirrors we project our beliefs on. And if the first thing people see when they look at the mountain of evidence against Baldoni is "an aging white woman trying to hide an emotional affair from her husband by ruining a poor hard working man's life" then the 1950s that the far right promised really are here.
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nondelphic · 2 days ago
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"why is the fictional sport i invented (a mix of chess, fencing, and psychic battles) more fleshed out than any of my characters? priorities."
Now I NEED info on this!
GIMME!
i hate to disappoint so many of y'all that asked this exact question................ i didn't invent any such fictional sport.......... yes.... i'm a liar........
no but on a real note i think it's so funny because i write incredibly niche posts (just coming up with them on the spot) in hope that it'll resonate with SOMEONE but people always end up thinking i'm talking about my own work T____T anytime i mention my own work i use the tag # the midnight chase !!! whichhhhhhh side note i think i'm gonna start publishing on here or somewhere else in february or march (ao3? wattpad? tumblr? what would you guys prefer? i'm not posting it all in one go, i'll be posting it as i'm editing it chapter by chapter, so like maybe a couple of chapters a week, idk yet, there'll def be a schedule though)
if anyone does have any incredibly specific fictional sports they've invented, let everyone know !! i, just like teamarine777, would love to know at least.
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lulu2992 · 3 months ago
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Happy 10th Anniversary, Far Cry 4 (2/3)
One day, I wondered how many ways to finish Far Cry 4 there were depending on who you choose to follow and how you deal with the antagonists.
I did the math and found that the answer was… 1,729! Don’t take my word for it because I don’t even remember my calculations now, but I made diagrams to illustrate all the paths.
What did your adventure(s) look like? :)
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If you’re curious, I included my three playthroughs (and the reasoning behind my choices) under the cut:
First playthrough:
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I chose Amita the first time because there was no one else to retrieve the intel she wanted while Sabal already had a group of fighters defending the camp. When I came back, I didn’t like his reaction and thought it was unfair to blame Ajay.
I did take his side in the next two missions, though, because I wanted to get rid of the drugs.
At the end, I still chose Amita because Sabal just kept getting more and more obnoxious, I didn’t want Bhadra to be forced to become Tarun Matara (and potentially marry him) and, since I had burned the fields and destroyed the factory, I thought nobody would be able to grow or sell opium anymore. Amita would melt the artifacts, sell the gold, and that’s how she would make money.
I was very happy with my choice until I read there was a post-credits scene involving the new leader of the Golden Path and went to Tirtha to watch it. Seeing what Amita had become really hurt, and it looked like me destroying everything opium-related didn’t matter after all, which was very disappointing...
As much as I hate Sabal’s behavior, in my opinion, he’s a better-written character compared to her because you can see him become more and more despotic as the story progresses, and it happens in a believable way, but while she’s a flawed person as well, it really feels like Amita just turns evil after the credits.
Honestly, I felt betrayed.
Second “playthrough”:
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I just wanted to see the secret ending. I believe I waited a little over 13 minutes for Pagan to come back.
Third playthrough:
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Basically, I sided with Amita when I had previously followed Sabal, and vice versa, so I could play all the missions. I also decided to kill Noore this time because shooting her in the back without telling her anything seemed like a less painful way for her to die since she doesn’t survive anyway... However, I let everyone else live because, when given the option, I always choose not to kill.
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 11 months ago
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finalhaunts · 2 years ago
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#vent#i hate that I can’t get over this shit#yes I know most people don’t have lasting relationships when they’re young#yes i know there are other people#but like time and time and time and time and time again I’ve had people leave and i’m#sick of being in this cycle#where I’m happy and then it all falls apart#usually because i ruined it by being too much#just the fact that it seems like I’m so inherently unloveable on top of everything else in my awful life#i’m just tired. I just want Something#‘’you can’t win them all’’ well i wish I could win just once#i think there’s something genuinely deeply wrong with me.#like maybe I’m just a failed attempt at a human being#i think at this point i’m not even human.#i think i’m just. a thing.#vermin. or lower than vermin#again and again I go ‘’i’ll get better this time’’ and then I end up falling into the same patterns and spirals#and I feel like such a disappointment to my friends and I’m terrified if i Don’t get better it’s just going to push everyone away#and i’ll be left alone again becsuse its just a constant fucking cycle of people leaving !!!!!#i know peoples patience run thin. i know hearing me vent all the time is draining. i’m fully well aware of just how shitty it csn be#having someone around who’s always just so miserable#and i’m scared i’m on a time limit and I have no clue when it runs out or how much time i have left#this was about one thing but it ended up spiralingninto other shit sory#its so fuckingnhard to get better especially when i’m still with my excuses of parents#i’m scared
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babyleostuff · 8 months ago
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when they take a joke too far | ot13
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❥ seungcheol 
as much as i love cheol, i don’t think he’d immediately notice that he took the joke too far, mainly because of the fact that when he’s in the moment, surrounded by other people, you know - trying to be funny (maybe attempting on impressing others with his amazing joking skills), he’d be a bit too focused on the people surrounding him. it doesn’t change the fact that the second he notices you acting a tad bit off, he’s all over you asking you questions - if you are all right, if you want to leave, if you need food or water, his jacket etc etc. when he’d find out you were upset by his joke, oh - he’d be so so disappointed and angry with himself, truly. cheol would apologise, of course, and ask you if you needed space (it would break his heart if you said yes tbh, but he'd understand that). he just wouldn’t want to disappoint and hurt you even more.
❥ jeonghan 
jeonghan knows he can be quite petty and sarcastic at times, and his jokes can be taken ambiguously sometimes, especially when people don’t really know him and his humour. then again, he’d never tell a mean joke on purpose, he’s not mean like that, but sometimes his jokes do not come out as he means them to. it could take him some time to notice you being upset over his joke because after all you’re quite used to his sense of humour, so he’d never think that you could get upset over it. in his mind his joke is just a silly comment, he obviously doesn’t mean for it to upset you, god forbid. when he finds out you’re bothered by it though, he’d apologise in any way he could - he’d be extra attentive, clingy, and careful with you, but giving you space at the same time.
❥ joshua 
immediately feels so bad when he sees your expression fall after his bad joke. does not wait to apologise later or reflect on what he had just said - your visible sadness is enough for joshua to cradle your face in his hands and apologise, as sincerely as he can. even if you’re with friends or other acquaintances, he doesn’t care if people are staring or murmuring to each other, all he cares about is apologising. even if you’d forgive him, joshua would still be a bit more wary around you, making sure to give you space but at the same time still care for you and take care of you, because despite your words - he knew you were still a bit upset.
❥ jun 
wouldn’t be sure whether to pack up his things and move out of your apartment, bury himself under the sheets, or to bawl his eyes out. the worst part is when he doesn’t even realise that he upset you with his joke, because what do you mean that he made you sad and he proceeded to go about his day like nothing happened? HE DIDN’T KNOW, PLEASE FORGIVE HIM. it’s never, ever jun’s intention to make you upset (duh), and it makes everything so much worse - he’s the one who’s supposed to make you laugh, not sad. when he realises that he took the joke too far he’s not sure how to approach you, because if he could he’d apologise immediately, but then again - what if you hate him now?
❥ hoshi 
this man is the epitome of “saying before thinking”, and while he’d never tell a joke to offend someone on purpose, shit happens and not all of his jokes come off as jokes. he also gets easily distracted so it could take some time for him to notice you being upset, but at the same time he’s such a simp for you, so he’d either realise you were bothered by his comment an hour later or the second the joke left his mouth. would be the type to fall to his knees, hug your waist, bury his face in your stomach, and proceed with an at least hour apology because he feels that bad. his dramatic behaviour (and the even more dramatic apology speech) would make you laugh so hard, you’d forget about the joke in seconds. still, hoshi would be extra caring with you because no excuse could justify his joke that was lame and unfunny in the first place.
❥ wonwoo 
to be honest, i don’t see a world where wonwoo would take a joke too far, he’d notice you being uncomfortable before you’d even know you were upset by the joke yourself. BUT, if it (somehow) happened, his apology would come straight away. there is no way he’d be able to proceed with his day without apologising at least fifty times - he’s so in tune with your emotions, it’d be like he could feel you hurting because of the joke himself. wonwoo would feel very ashamed of even thinking, let alone telling such a joke, he’d feel very disappointed in himself, and he’d beat himself up for that for days.
❥ woozi 
would apologise immediately - jihoon doesn’t like bullshitting around stuff, there is no way he’d wait with apologising, not only because he doesn’t like getting into conflicts, but because you deserve that apology. it’s never his intention to upset you, and he wouldn’t be able to proceed with his day without saying something. like, what kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn’t? after incidents like those (not that they happen often), he’s a bit more cautious around you, making sure to not overstep any boundaries, and letting you have some space.
❥ dk 
not happening, sorry - there is no way seokmin would take a joke too far to the point of upsetting someone, especially you. no. freaking. way. he’d rather set his body of fire than make an upsetting joke. 
❥ mingyu 
there’s also a slim chance of mingyu taking a joke too far, he’s too good of a person to upset anyone with his jokes. if it happened, he’d immediately apologise, probably in one of the most dramatic ways ever - throwing himself on his knees, yapping about how sorry he is, and how he didn’t know how such a joke could even come to his mind, while he’s eyes would be screaming “FORGIVE ME PLEASE”. he would be so disappointed and angry at himself for saying the joke, like it would take him days to get over it, even if you said you forgave him. there’s just something about taking a joke too far and making your significant upset because of it that breaks mingyu’s heart.
❥ minghao    
he can be very blunt and petty, his humour is not for everyone, but that still doesn’t mean he’d upset anyone on purpose (unless that person is rude, then they get the full on xu minghao treatment). when he notices he took his joke too far regarding you, he’s kind of clueless on what to do next - it’s not like he can ignore the fact that he said what he said, and he feels so ashamed for making you upset, in fact - too ashamed to apologise immediately. all of his confidence and bluntness suddenly leaves him, because how is he supposed to keep his head high when he just made his significant other upset with a joke, he decided to think of and then say. 
❥ seungkwan 
our savage boo can be a tad too savage at times, and sometimes his remarks can be a bit upsetting. good thing is that he quickly realises when he oversteps the boundary of what is funny and what is not, so it wouldn’t take him much time to understand that you got genuinely upset over his joke. would take your hands in his, and with a lowered head (he’d be too embarrassed and ashamed of upsetting you to look at you), and try to apologise as sincerely as he could. seungkwan would make sure to give you some space, though it would break his heart - but he knew that that was what he had to do for you to forgive him completely.
❥ vernon 
vernon isn’t known for coming up with loud and bold jokes, so he immediately catches himself after telling the joke that clearly wasn’t a good one, especially because it was directed towards you. his first instinct is to watch you to see your reaction, he wouldn’t want to say anything right away, afraid that it would make the situation only worse. he’s very cautious when approaching you, he’d understand if you’d need some space, but at the same time he doesn’t want to wait with his apology, because he feels really, really bad. he's also really good at apologising - maybe taking the full accountability for a bad joke is the bare minimum, but then again finding the bare minimum is very hard lately.
❥ chan
chan is usually quite good at controlling what he’s saying, he’s very cautious of the emotions of the people around him, and how his words might affect them. sometimes shit happens though, and not all of his jokes come out as he’d wish them to. chan’s a simp and he’s a loser for you, so he’d catch on to the fact that he took his joke too far quite quickly, and wouldn’t know how to act. he just made you sad, no - he just offended you. his joke, his words made you upset, and that’s a complete failure of his boyfriend duties, because his jokes are supposed to make you laugh, not upset. wouldn’t know how to approach you, would try to apologise through acts of service.
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bnhaobssesed · 5 months ago
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Just thinking about newlyprohero!Bakugo and cheeky!reader
He never liked parties that much. All those gatherings of people he sometimes barely knew. Most of them drunk by the end of the night. And his friends were these kind of people.
He hated to receive a drunk call from Kaminari to pick them up at one am. So one when he and Kirishima proposed for him to go yet again, he just agreed.
So there he was in a corner of the club, sitting at a table with the bakusquad. His arms were crossed while he sipped his drink and eyed up all his gatherings. People shouting, swerving through the crowd, downing drinks, swaying to the rythme. He rolled his eyes and watched carefully as Denki tried to whoo two swedish girls. Key word : tried. he could smell his alcohol level from here and it made his eyes twitch slightly.
"Hey bakubro, you ok ?" kirishima shouted from over the sound of the deafening mudic. "We shouldn't be here. The media is already all over our asses ever since we announced the launching of our agency. I don't want to ruin my reputation as a hero." Katsuki grumbled. Kiri sighed, he had Mina on his lap who was smirking at Katsuki's annoyed posture. "Oh come on you big dummy. Live a little. We're graduates, building our agency and you're being over there sulking like an idiot."
"Who are you calling an idiot ?!" His hands popped little explosions. Kiri placed a calming hand on his best friend shoulder, slighlty pushing him back in his seat. "Hey, stop you two. But you know she's right dude. I know our starting carriers are being watched a lot. But maybe it's time for you to let go... like, find a girlfriend ? You used to tell us you were too busy with hero studies. Now's the occasion."
"Right now isn't the right time, Ei." he glared at his friend who just raised his hands in defense. "I'm just saying ! it might make you lose up a little. Look at Denki, he seems fine." Katsuki rolled his eyes at the sight of the other blond, slouched in front of them as he had both girls on his side.
"Is Kacchan afraid he'll never have his first kiss ?" Kaminari boastly mocked while his little guests seemed more and more interested in Katsuki. One of them even slipped away and sat next to Katsuki. A little two close to his taste. He huffed in annoyance and got up, leaving her dejected.
"Hey ! We're you going ?" Kirishima called as he watched his friend walk away. "Away from here, and getting dunce face some water." was the last thing he grumbled. They all looked accusingly towards Denki. "What ? Not my fault he can't live a little." Sero slapped the back of his head. "You're really an idiot sometimes."
Katsuki reached the bar and ask for something who will sober up his friend quickly. While he waited for the bartender to be over with some other costumer, he leaned against the bar, thinking about what they said. It's true he never dated anyone during UA, or in middle school for that matter. He thought it was a waste of time. But what they said troubled him. And even if Denki meant it as a joke, he was right. Katsuki never kissed anyone. Even now that he was 20.
And that made him feel uneasy. He was late compared to young adults of his age. After all he saw half of his friends kiss someone like it was a routine while it was a step he had yet to take. Even Deku with his undying shyness managed to start to date Uraraka the following year after graduation. So what was missing ?
Was he truly scared ? Yes, he was because it didn't go with his character. Dynamight, never felt the touch of a woman ? What a pity. To him it sounded so lame.
Then the anger came. Who were they to think he couldn't kiss a girl. He was going to prove them wrong and kiss one. Tonight. He scanned the dancefloor and was met with disappointement. Not because the girls weren't pretty. But because of the gut feeling that told him he shouldn't spend his first kiss away with someone he barely knew. He wanted it to be as special as he was told and read about. Though he’ll never say it out loud.
His train of thoughts got interrupted as the bartender was heading his way. But before he could even speak, a hand grabbed his arm. He tried to protest, thinking it was one of his friends but he was met with you. You seemed breathless and your cheeks were red. You were flush against him, your chest slightly moving out of your top as your half lided eyes met his. “Hey, care to be my man for five seconds ?” You don’t wait for his answer before crashing your lips against his.
The kiss was good, almost too good. It was messy but seemed perfect. That kind of perfect you only find in Christmas movies when the girl realizes she loved the hometown farm guy more than her business man boyfriend. It was electrifying. And for a second Katsuki wondered why he had never done that in his entire 20 years of existence.
All his hesitation vanished and his lips started to move against yours. He can feel you smile a little, after all he was still tense and inexperienced. But he was kissing you back. Like a shy and awkward 16 year old but still. You bit his lips and he just groaned in response, accidentally leaving entrance for your tongue to slip in his mouth. He was completely under your spell. And he wasn’t going to do anything about it.
He could feel the slight liquor off of your tongue grazing his tenderly, as if careful not to scare him off. He didn’t like alcohol that much but right now it was addictive. He couldn’t get enough. He groaned against your mouth, completely surrendering to you. After what felt an eternity too short, you pulled away, a string of saliva still connecting your lips.
You eyed up where the creep that had been harassing you half the night was supposed to be. You didn’t see him anywhere. You sighed in relief but remembered you just kissed a poor random guy you had grabbed as a dissuasion. Which of who seemed so sweetly flustered at the moment.
“Your lips aren’t too bad, firecracker.” You said as you turned back to him and sent him a wink. He was left stunned. You were one cheeky little minx. “Firecracker-what?” He babbled through confusion, his lips still tingly from the kiss. You chuckled and you put a hand on his chest. You could feel how his heart was racing. How cute. “I have to go, but thanks for the kiss firecracker.” You trailed off as you walked past him, your hand making a suggestive lingering trail in his chest.
He was left stunned. And a few seconds later, realization came back. He just had his first kiss. With a stranger. One hell of a kiss at that. But he didn’t even know your name. He turned around and tried calling out to you but you had already disappeared through the crowd.
He stumbled back, the scene going through his head like a broken record. What just happened… Without noticing he strode his way back to where his friends still were.
"Hey, where's my drink?" Denki teased and he had to wait for a few seconds before Katsuki go tout of his daze. "Huh ? Oh they didn't make any drinks for idiots." usually his tone would be snarkier, which made his friend confused. "Hey, you okay man ?" Kirishima asked as his friend let himself fall in the seat beside him with a sigh. "Yeah yeah..."
"Oh my- is that...lipgloss ?” Mina interjected, grabbing the attention of everyone. They eyed up their friend who had a reddish trail all over his lips. He tried to wipe the evidence, to no avail, his cheeks speeding in a light reddish hue. Suddenly he was assaulted by questions. Did you make out ? You know her ? Is that why you disappeared? How did that happen ? Was she hot ? How ? When ? What ??? He was about to blast them in annoyance when he caught a glimpse of you. He couldn’t let you slip away this time. He hurriedly got back up and tried to follow you, under the confused protests of his friends.
He tried pushing through the crowd, barely excusing himself as he tried to grab you attention. He was about to reach you when a movement of crowd brought him away from your oblivious face. He tried to make them move, being blocked as most of them here danced. It wasn’t easy to be big Dynamight. He tried swerving through the people but couldn’t see you anymore. He scanned the room lighten with lights of every vibrant colors and caught a glimpse of the emergency exit closing. With difficulty he reached it and was met with the cold air of the midnight streets. He looked around and saw you. You were about to enter your taxi.
He strode in your direction. “Hey !” He shouted, grabbing your attention as you looked up in surprise. You smirked when you noticed who was heading your way. You just winked at him and got in your taxi, it leaving seconds after.
“Damnit!” He watched as the taxi disappeared around the corner. How did he manage to loose for the third time in one night…
He just wanted a name. A name on the girl who stole his first true act of love. The one who is feared, waited, fantasied, depicted in all languages and every timelines. That bond who now was tied to you and for some unknown reason made him drawn to you like a magnet.
He licks his lips, the strawberry taste of your lipgloss giving him one reminder of the kiss you shared. The sole proof that it was not a fantasy his brain had built.
But one thing he knows, he must absolutely find out who you are. One way or another…
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churipu · 1 year ago
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Idk if u take requests rn, but if you do, could you write fluffy moments with jjk men (pls include toji, i rlly wanna see him w fluff because there is like none) you fav would be cuddling, but you do whatever you want <3 Also, don't stress yourself when writing i, and please take breaks <33
JJK MEN + FLUFFY MOMENTS (๑ > ᴗ < ๑)
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featuring. toji fushiguro, gojo satoru, nanami kento x reader
warnings. jjk men being softies
note. i just read the most heart wrenching nanami fic, i think i'm not okay at all </3 but hi anon, thank you for requesting this — this is exactly what i needed after reading angst. i apologize if it took a long time to get this out omg, i hope you like it.
and guys, omg???? 700+ followers? i genuinely never expected my works to be recognized by so much, and meeting new writers here and there, making friends, makes me so happy (i'm not crying) i love u all so so so so much, u guys rock, ily all <;33
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TOJI FUSHIGURO
hated talking about the future, but ever since he met you — he rambles about it.
toji has always thought his future was nothing interesting, he kills people for a living, gets money off of it and he gambles. that's about it, so what was there to think about in the future?
meeting you was the firsts to a lot of things in his life.
toji grew up in a loveless household full of anger, and lust for power. which is why he is who he is today. distant, aloof, detached. people tell him he'd be nothing without his strength and face, there is no denying that toji fushiguro has a face card. he knows that.
so when he first met you, all he expected was like every other day. people caring about his face, and only that — and he'd play along although he's had enough of it, but no; you didn't care about all that.
face, money, strength. none of that.
he vaguely remembered the first time you spoke to him: "hey, mind helping me grab that box of cereal?" and he expected you to hit on him after, but you left it at that, muttering out a thanks and then leaving him in the aisle alone.
then for some reason he meets you again, the very next month. asking him the exact same thing, asking for help to take the cereal box which happened to be on the very top of the shelf. god knows why, both you and him just made it a routine every month after that. no communications about meeting and all. you both kind of just, met right in the cereal aisle on one particular day in the month, and then leave.
on the fifth month, he finally asks for your number.
"toji, is that your way of asking me out? because if it is, i'm disappointed."
"maybe."
and then you both kind of just sealed it; you're dating. nothing much changed, every month both you and him still go to the cereal aisle — he still helps you with grabbing the box from the shelf. the only difference was that now the two of you leave together.
toji hates talking about his future. but with you? he could go on for a whole day. he rambles about what he thinks and what he wants in the future with you.
"i wan' to get married. i wan' to marry you," did it caught you by surprise? yes. yes it did, "i wan' to have a family with you, a nice little family. i wan' to have a son so i could throw him around — but a girl is okay too, i can protect her from boys, i'll love them both equally. but i don't think i'll be a good dad to them. i'm scared they won't like me."
"toji, what? where did that come from?"
his back was pressed to your chest as you both lay down on the bed, one of your leg draped over his torso and he has his hand on your plush thigh, squeezing it every once in a while.
"i don't know. just a thought, i never talked about my future with anyone before," his body vibrated as he grunted, leaning his head back a bit, "i just don't think i'll be a good father, y'know?" he squeezed your thigh.
"why do you think so?" you asked him, placing your chin on the crown of his head.
"i just think so."
"stop thinking then," you chuckles, draping an arm around his neck, caressing his throat so softly it made the male shudder under your touch — but he didn't mind, he took comfort under your skin.
"can't." his voice was not stern or bold, it was soft and serene. he laced his fingers with yours, kissing your knuckles gently, "i can't believe 'm saying this, but 'm worried about my future. 'm a little scared."
just the fact he was admitting that he's scared about something was mind boggling, because the toji fushiguro? who kills people? was admitting that he was actually terrified of something, which wasn't even the strongest sorcerer. it's his future.
you were silent, letting him talk because when else would he be able to be like this?
"'m terrified. 'm scared i won't make you happy. what if i don't make you happy? what if my kids hate me?" so many questions that you don't even have the answer to, but you placed your hand over his lips, shutting him up.
toji grumbled, he swiped his tongue over your palm.
"ew!" you laugh, wiping your hand on his shirt, "but why're you suddenly talking about this all? which videos have you been watching again?"
"nothing, can't i think about my own future with you?" he shuffles, turning to face you, prepping an arm under his head as he stares down at you. not in the condescending way — he stared at you with so much desperation for love, he slowly blinks, the glint in his eyes never changing.
"why out of the blue?"
"jus' because."
you poked his cheek, "liar."
he sighs, latching his hand onto your hips, pulling you close. he buries his head into your shoulder in content, "jus' worried about it, i never think about my future in the past. but now — with you, i jus' worry about it because i didn't think i'd make it 'till now."
you chuckled, rubbing the back of his head lightly, "you remember that one time in the park when you see that little boy crying over spilled ice cream?"
he hums softly.
"and you bought him another ice cream, but asked me to be the one to give it to him because you were scared you'd scare him off instead?" you ask him, your fingers tangling with his hair lightly.
"yeah."
"you'll be fine, toji." you tell him.
"y'think so?" he retorts back, squirming a bit.
"i know so."
GOJO SATORU
he has to know about everything that you like, he needs to know why you like them. every. single. thing.
gojo chased after you. you were one tough cookie, he likes a chase. he's so used to people fawning over his looks that when you didn't — he just has to know your name.
the curiosity to know your name ended up pulling him in a spiral of this little thing called "love". gojo swore it was just curiosity, but everyone else besides him thinks otherwise, he promised himself and people around that he didn't like you, he was just, well, curious.
but curiosity doesn't look like that. gojo finds himself asking people about what type of boys you like, and when he finds out about it — he tries his best to be your type. he promised he was just curious.
gojo tries finding out what your favorite flower is, and when he finds out about it, he's out there sending big bouquets of it to you. he promised he was just curious.
gojo tries finding out what your favorite genre of music is, and when he finds out, he listens to them so he could talk about it with you. he promised he was just curious.
gojo tries finding out what your favorite series or movie is, and when he finds out, he watches them all intently so he could talk about them with you and hate on characters together with you. and he still promises that he was just curious.
he was just curious, he kept telling that to himself. so why does it bother him when you were out with another guy? another guy that's not him. not gojo satoru.
gojo asks you about who it was, and when you tell him it's nobody important, he gets upset about it.
"why are you so upset?"
"i'm just..curious."
"it's none of your business."
he left it at that. his whole week was ruined, he couldn't stop thinking about it. about you. and then he finally realizes, he wasn't curious — he was in love. so there he was, in front of your door at two in the morning.
"what?"
"who was that guy?"
"gojo, you're still onto that?" you ask him, tired, "i said it's none of your business. you're here at two just to ask me about that?"
"it's my business because i'm in love with you, damn it!"
gojo was half grateful when you told him it was your distant cousin, but half embarrassed as well. all's well ends well. he gets you in the end, and he doesn't have to worry about anything else — nothing in the world matters to him but you.
"baby, what do you recommend?" was one of the most spoken phrases he has delivered to you.
in restaurants, dessert bars, convenience store, movie theaters, anything you could recommend him, he'd ask for it.
"why do you always ask? don't you have your own preference, satoru? i'm not even sure if you'll like my recommendations though," he smiles at you, tracing small circled on the back of your hand.
"i want to know about everything that you like, and why you like them. i want to know everything about you," you look at him and smiled, honestly, what did we ever do to deserve him?
"why?"
"because i love you." yeah, he wasn't just curious. he's in love. and deep.
NANAMI KENTO
he always orders food that you like, and shares some with you — even if you didn't ask for it.
nanami never expected to be in relationships. in fact, relationships was the last thing in his mind — but when he met you, he just kind of felt attracted. he seeks for your comfort whenever he's tired, and when you weren't there, nanami just sort of drowns in himself until he could see you or hear your voice.
at the beginning of your relationship, nanami was never the one to initiate things because he wasn't an experienced male in relationships. you ask him and he just sort of do it without any other complaints.
but as time goes on, he get the hang of it. what he should do and what he shouldn't — it's adorable, he's started doing things that he never thought he would do in his life, but here he was sitting by your side; peeling apples for you because you wanted them.
"kento, eat some. it's going to be finished by the time you finish peeling every one of them," you joked, your legs on top of his thighs.
nanami hums softly, "it's okay. as long as you like it."
nanami doesn't realize the weigh of his sweet words sometimes, he does it and asks himself to why you were reacting like that. sweet talk is his vocabulary. he says it with no worries, telling you things you've always wanted to hear but never say.
but one thing that always stuck to him and you from the first time you got close up to now was: nanami always orders things that you like. you never understood the reason behind it, and when you tried asking him about it, he just tells you he was craving it.
it didn't seem odd at first — but as time goes on, his whole taste was just an exact copy of yours.
if you get something different than your usual menu, nanami will get your usual menu because he knows damn well that you're going to end up wanting them. although you don't tell him when the food comes, nanami makes it his job to share with you. and that's really sweet of him.
but when you get your usual menu, nanami orders something with elements that you like in them and shares them with you even without you asking for a bite. and not only that, he didn't share a spoonful — he shared a lot.
"ken, you don't have to share with me. i have my own food." you tell him, despite your heart tugging you to just let him share because you were too shy to say that you wanted a bite.
"it's alright sweetheart. i'm a little full." he lies. he ends up snacking on something on midnight, and it's now a routine.
so in exchange for that, you always make it your job to stock up foods ranging from small snacks like biscuits, chips, up to instant or pre-heated food. even cutting up fruits so nanami could snack on it, and he caught on to it pretty quick.
but he didn't complain, he likes it when you do it.
"ken, i cut out some mangoes and dragon fruit. you can eat them if you're hungry."
"thank you y/n."
mutual wins.
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© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE
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waterhousse · 9 months ago
Text
I Saw Her For the First Time
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I saw her for the first time, and I was lonely for the last time
Pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader
Summary: you’re practically the girl of her dreams. it’s a shame her friend saw you first.
Author’s note: HELLO i’m back at it again with pure fluff. i didn’t know exactly how to label this one so i just put modern ellie but it has a little bit of guitarist ellie and also nerdy ellie. hope you like it !
Photo creds: elliesxgun and vamp4r3 on pinterest :)
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I stand with Palestine, you should too.
Boycott TLOU | Useful links | DAILY CLICK | Educate yourself
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• • • •
ellie was absentmindedly playing a made-up melody on her guitar, softly strumming away as she listened to the conversation her friends were having. lisa, her roomate and vocalist of her band, was telling everyone about the new girl she had been talking to. it was the first time she heard your name.
"she's hot,” was dina's final veredict once she was done scrolling through your profile. she passed the phone to jesse, who immediately agreed.
“i know. she’s really cool and funny but she’s really into comics and fantasy movies and i don’t know shit about that.”
"so, she's a nerd."
"basically, but a pretty one. it’s just that ninety percent of the time i don't know what the hell she's talking about." lisa's complaint was followed by a tired sigh as she threw her head back on the couch. then, she looked to her side, where ellie was. "she reminds me of you, actually."
she instantly frowned, "are you calling me a nerd?"
“i mean…” jesse trailed off before dodging the water bottle ellie threw at him.
"you like all those things, right? maybe you could help me with her."
"help you how, exactly?"
"well, i kinda already told her i like all of what she mentioned so whenever that comes up you'll take over and say whatever makes me look cool."
"what's in it for me?"
ellie sat emotionless as her friend began listing everything she could do for her in exchange for her help, such as deep cleaning the apartment or buying her favorite snacks every day.
she let out a low whistle, “someone's desperate.”
“dude—”
“why can’t you just talk to her about something else?”
“because i already told her i liked all of that stuff! keep up.” lisa rolled her eyes. “tell me if it’s not worth it.” she quickly typed in your instagram username and passed the phone to her.
ellie’s eyes almost widened at the sight of you, but she managed to mask her reaction just in time. she silently scrolled down your instagram profile, clicking on the posts that caught her attention the most.
"so, what do you think?"
"uh, she's alright."
you were more than alright.
"you have such high standards,” dina huffed.
yes, and you apparently met them all.
lisa snatched the phone back from her hands as the group began discussing a new topic; ellie’s picky taste in women, even when they practically threw themselves at her. it had been a while since her friends last saw her on a date or even having a crush.
ellie threw her head back with a groan as she stood up from the couch, “are you going to keep talking about me or are we gonna rehearse?”
their band was a regular on friday nights at one of their town’s most popular bars. over the time they had been playing there, they had gathered an audience of people that went to see them. ellie would hate to disappoint them, or maybe she just hated when the conversation was centered around her.
“i think we’re gonna keep talking about you,” dina joked as she picked up her bass.
once rehearsal was over, lisa practically ran to her phone to check if she had any new messages from you. apparently, she had asked to go on a date next week and you had said yes.
“you’re gonna to have to teach me everything you know,” lisa mumbled to ellie with her eyes glued to the phone as she quickly typed her reply to you.
“great, just how i wanted to spend my free time.”
even though ellie had no real interest in doing that favor to her friend, she stuck to her word. whenever the “nerdy topics”, has lisa had called them, came up, she took over the conversation. that part of the plan wasn’t awful, in fact, ellie secretly enjoyed the moments she got to talk to you, but she had to keep reminding herself that you weren’t actually talking to her, but lisa.
it had been a confusing last couple of days.
“just try to not let those topics come up in the conversation and if they do, just agree with everything she says,” ellie advised lisa, because not even her intensive teaching could help the poor girl to memorize anything. “re-read the conversations i had with her. that could work. especially the one we're having right now."
“you’re trying to sound like me, right?”
“sure, i’m making some spelling mistakes and everything.”
“fuck you,” lisa laughed from the bathroom. “alright, tell her i’m on my way.”
“remember to read the last few messages in case she brings them up.”
“thanks, el. see you later!” and with that, she was out of their shared apartment.
ellie sighed, dramatically plopping down on the couch. she swept her gaze over the living room in hopes to find something to do to keep her mind occupied, but nothing seemed appealing enough. she used her phone for a bit, but she couldn’t fully concentrate on what she was seeing.
after tossing and turning for a while, she ended up falling asleep. it wasn’t until two hours later she was suddenly woken up by lisa’s voice mixed with somebody else’s. the sound of the door shutting closed was what made her fully open her eyes, instantly setting them on the two people that had just entered the apartment.
“sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up,” lisa apologized, but ellie didn’t even acknowledge her. instead, she looked past her friend to the person behind her.
you were standing there, an apologetic and slightly embarrassed look on your face. “i didn’t mean to intrude, i’m sorry.”
ellie sat up straight, her fingers combing through her short hair in an attempt to make herself more presentable. “it’s fine, don’t worry.”
an adorable smile formed on your lips, “you’re ellie, right?”
you didn’t wait for her confirmation and proceeded to introduce yourself while she thought about how crazy it was that you didn’t know how many times you two had already spoken.
ellie remained silent, watching you smile shyly at her. then, she realized she hadn’t said anything in a while and it was probably really weird. “it— it’s really nice to meet you.”
“i’m going to the bathroom, i’ll be right back,” lisa said before gesturing you to take a seat on the couch.
hesitantly, you sat down next to ellie. there was another moment of silence in which you looked at her with uncertainty, fearing she might be uncomfortable with your presence. you didn’t know if it’d be best for you to talk to her or to just wait for lisa to come back, not wanting things to get even more awkward.
when ellie returned one of your quick glances, you decided to say something.
“sorry about coming here without letting you know first. i can’t go home yet, my roommate has a guy over,” you admitted with a grimace.
ellie nodded, laughing softly at the reason you were there. “i don’t mind, really.”
“thanks, anyway,” you grinned.
“so, how’d the date go?”
“uh, good.” your answer wasn’t completely honest, ellie could tell. she narrowed your eyes at you, not wanting to pry but at the same time dying to know.
“are you sure about that?”
“you’re her friend, i can’t gossip about her with you.”
“we’re actually not that close.”
you playfully bumped your shoulder into hers before your eyes set on her for a few seconds. she tilted her head as she returned your gaze, silently trying to convince you to talk.
“i don’t know if you’re very persuasive or if i’m just too weak.”
ellie’s smile widened as you sighed, giving in.
“i had a great time,” you began, searching for the right words to say, “but we didn’t hit it off as well as we did through text.”
“that’s weird.” her mumbled words were followed by an awkward chuckle.
“yeah, i know. don’t get me wrong, though, she’s great, but it felt like i was hanging out with a friend. that spark, i guess, you hope to feel on a first date just wasn’t there.”
ellie nodded as she took your words in. “i’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
“oh, it’s fine. we talked about it on the way here. it’s all good. actually, she invited me to see you guys play on friday. you’re the guitarist, right?”
“yeah,” ellie smiled proudly, sitting more comfortably on the couch. “we’re really good. well, you’ll see for yourself. don’t wanna get your expectations too high.”
“it might be a little too late for that,” you replied just as lisa came back.
there was a smile on her lips, she had managed to hear the last bit of the conversation. “we’re great, actually.”
you hummed, “we’ll see.”
“hey, want me to show you the records i was telling you about?”
“can you tell me where the bathroom is, first?”
“sure, it’s the door at the end of the hallway. come to my room afterwards.”
“got it.” you nodded as you stood up from the couch, ellie’s curious eyes following you.
she looked away just in time, because lisa’s gaze fell upon her the moment you were out of sight. “what do you think?”
“she’s cool. plus, she friendzoned you so i gotta give her more points for that.”
“she did not friendzone me!” she protested in a hushed voice. “we friendzoned each other, it was a mutual decision.”
“sure, lis, whatever you say.” ellie went to her room immediately after that, not giving her a chance to defend herself.
she was feeling strangely happy about the outcome of lisa’s date. her friend had always been a player, taking advantage of her ‘rockstar’ status. ellie had done that, too, but lisa loved to be involved with multiple people at the same time. with the short interactions ellie had shared with you, she knew you deserved better than that.
ellie opened her bedroom door as she hummed a melody, not expecting to have company. you were by her bed, closely inspecting one of her action figures. she stood under the doorframe, momentarily frozen at the sight. then, a soft chuckle escaped her lips, alerting you of her presence.
“i’ve been meaning to get this for a while—” you began saying, stopping yourself mid-sentence once you looked up and realized that it was ellie the one standing there and not lisa. “oh, hey. what’s up?”
ellie just smiled as she made her way to her bed under your confused stare. “nothing much,” ellie casually replied as she threw herself on the bed. “just love the comfort of my room, y’know?”
your eyebrows rose slightly, immediately leaving the action figure where you found it, “your room? i’m sorry! there were stickers on the door of lisa’s favorite characters—”
ellie laughed as you kept apologizing. she propped herself onto her elbows, waiting for you to be done with your rambling.
“i promise i didn’t touch anything else.”
“it’s okay, i don’t mind,” ellie answered with a half-smile.
“so, this stuff is all yours?” you asked, sweeping your gaze around the room. it was decorated with a bunch of fantasy movies posters and, on the shelves, there were different book collections as well as many other action figures of, coincidentally, most of your favorite characters.
“uh, yeah.”
“i see…” you hummed before your eyes met hers again.
ellie swallowed hard, her confidence quickly fading away. “lisa and i have practically the same taste,” she was quick to explain, hoping you wouldn’t catch the pathetic quiver on her voice.
“right… okay, i’ll see you friday, then?”
“yeah, see you friday.”
you gave her one last smile before stepping out of her room. it wasn’t until she was alone that she became aware of her racing heart. she laid back on the bed, bringing her hands to her face as she let out a heavy sigh.
that night, ellie fell asleep trying to convince herself that you hadn’t figured out she was behind some of lisa’s texts, that you hadn’t been capable of reading her that well after that short conversation.
ellie woke up the next day ready to avoid thinking about the issue as much as she could, but the universe seemed to conspire against her.
the band was having a break from rehearsal, each of them sprawled around jesse’s garage. ellie had taken her friend’s place behind the drums, absentmindedly playing a beat that faltered when dina brought up your name in a conversation she wasn’t even participating in.
“she’s coming to see us play even after you fucked up the date? woah, maybe i underestimated you.”
“i didn’t fuck up the date.” lisa rolled her eyes.
ellie snickered from her place, “then why were you back at the apartment at, like, 10 p.m?”
“whatever. we both decided it was best for us to stay as friends.”
“i believe you, don’t worry.” jesse gave her a pat on her back before mouthing ‘i don’t’ to ellie and dina, who secretly laughed. “okay, ladies, let’s get back to work. we don’t wanna make ourselves look bad infront of lisa’s new friend, right?”
“yeah, she’s got pretty high expectations,” ellie mentioned as she picked up her guitar. the smile on her face didn’t go unnoticed by her friends.
“you talked to her?”
she looked up at dina’s question, who was staring at her, intrigued. ellie frowned, her guitar pick between her teeth as she tied her hair up in a short, low ponytail.
“yeah, why? i’m not some antisocial freak, y’know?”
“every time i take someone home you lock yourself in your room until they leave,” lisa snorted.
“this time i was caught by surprise. i wasn’t expecting you to come back so early,” ellie chuckled at the last part.
“fuck you, ellie,” lisa complained. “y’know what? let’s just get this over with before i stick this microphone up your—”
“okay, fine, fine. calm down.”
rehearsal went by smoothly with the four of them behaving as profesional as they could, sometimes jesse went off beat to annoy them or ellie would zone out in the middle of a song. still, they had mastered their set and they were definitely ready to play, but there was a deep, strange feeling inside ellie.
it took her a while to figure out she was nervous about the upcoming show. it had been a while since that happened to her, so it was extremely weird for her. the anxiety stayed with her until the following day, and it had actually gotten worse.
ellie ended up going on stage with that horrible feeling still present in the pit of her stomach. she tried to remind herself that it was just another show but, at the same, she knew it wasn’t. knowing you’d be in the audience had definitely affected her, but she didn’t want to look further into what that could possibly mean.
maybe she didn’t come, the thought came to mind in an attempt of calming herself down. perhaps if she repeated it enough she’d fool herself into thinking it was actually true.
she was obviously wrong.
you were there, tapping your fingers against the drink you had ordered. just as you were taking a sip, the lights dimmed and the loud chatter became whispering voices that were soon interrupted by the sound of a guitar.
four spotlights shone brightly on the band and you quickly recognized the other two members you had yet to meet. dina on the bass and jesse on the drums. lisa was at the front, she moved confidently on stage, but your eyes inevitably fell on the girl behind her.
ellie was bobbing her head to the beat of the song, eyes glued to the floor. your mouth opened slightly at the sight, it was hypnotic seeing her play. you inhaled deeply, unable to tear your gaze away from her.
it wasn’t until the ending of the second song ellie first looked up. it was only a quick glance at the crowd, but her eyes coincidentally landed on you, making her do a quick double-take. her eyebrows rose, not expecting to find you so soon.
ellie unconsciously licked her lips as she took you in, trying her best not to mess up the song. she forced herself to look away from you and swept her gaze around the place, searching for anything else to focus on. it was in that moment when a girl waving frenetically at her from the side of the stage caught her eye. she was a regular, friday after friday she’d tried to make ellie look at her for more than five seconds but she never succeeded.
your eyes hadn’t left her, so you had been watching the interaction with immense curiosity. you tried to see who that other girl was, but you lost sight of her. when you looked back at ellie, you met her eyes again. there was an amused, teasing grin on her face, which made you laugh.
ellie played the rest of the set practically on autopilot, because she had her full attention on you. to her, you were the only person on the audience. she was performing for you, proudly showing off her skills and with her nerves long forgotten.
your experience wasn’t much different than hers. to you, ellie was the only member in the band worth watching. not that the others were bad or anything of the sort, but there was just something about ellie that made it hard for you to look away. she was too entrancing. the slight smirk she had while playing, the way her hands looked and the prolonged eye contact that she broke from time to time only to close her eyes and get lost in what she was playing.
your world went silent once they got off stage, even though the sound of the people talking around you was incredibly loud. with your head still buzzing, you decided it was best for you to go outside to get some air.
you didn’t mind how cold the night was. you stayed there for what it seemed to be an eternity, getting too caught up in your own mind to realize it had only been a couple of minutes.
your peace was interrupted with the sound of a notification. it was lisa, asking you where you were. outside, you replied and waited for her to come out.
you didn’t expect her showing up with the rest of the band.
lisa was the first to appear in front of you, the huge smile on her face as she went to hug you caused a smile of your own to form. dina and jesse were next, greeting you with nods of acknowledgment and friendly smiles.
“hey! what’d you think?”
“you guys were great!” the compliment left your lips just as your eyes settled on the person who had stayed behind. “hey, ellie.”
her head shot up at the mention of her name, seemingly surprised you had chosen to address her. “hi,” she said before quickly looking away.
before you had the chance to read into ellie’s awkward response, lisa spoke up, drifting your attention away from the guitarist.
“wanna come to our place? it’s movie night.”
the invitation was definitely tempting, but you weren’t sure if dina and jesse would be okay with it. even ellie could be opposed to it, judging by the way her eyes appeared tone avoiding you at all costs.
“uh, i mean, if you guys are okay with me being there—”
“of course we are, c’mon,” jesse immediately replied, placing an arm around your shoulders. “now, tell me all about how you friendzoned lisa…”
you chuckled lightly as you let him guide you to the car, briefly glancing over your shoulder hoping to meet ellie’s eyes. she didn’t look at you once, which made a feeling of uncertainty creep up onto you.
dina, jesse and lisa were the ones who talked the most during the ride. their lighthearted conversation helped to put yours’ and ellie’s racing minds at ease, at least for a bit.
you were still wondering why ellie was avoiding you so blatantly. you were so incredibly caught up in your own thoughts that you failed to notice the pair of green eyes that were watching you through the rear view mirror.
from her place on the copilot seat, ellie’s gaze flickered from you to lisa before looking back ahead.
she could easily ignore you, right?
once you arrived af the apartment, everyone quickly settled on the couches and browsed different streaming sites in search of a movie to watch and criticize.
“this looks shitty enough, what do you guys think?”
“i already watched that,” ellie spoke up for the first time since you were there.
“you have to much free time on your hands, el. i’m sure not even the actors in it watched it.”
the (already poorly done) plan of trying to act normal in your presence quickly fell apart when the sound of your laugh made her look at you and, oh, how she wished she hadn’t.
“i’ve watched it, too. it is pretty shitty, by the way,” you said, not noticing her stare.
ellie’s lips slightly parted as she looked at yours. the same feeling that had taken over her on stage came back to her and she found herself unable to tear her eyes away from you.
god, she was fucked.
“ellie, go bring some blankets and pillows,” lisa told her from the comfort of the biggest couch, waking her up from her trance.
“why don’t you go?”
“i’m too tired.”
“i can help, if you want,” you offered, your eyes meeting hers for the first time since your awkward interaction outside the bar.
ellie was going to tell you that you didn’t have to, but she accepted your help before her mind could catch up with her mouth. you silently followed her to her room. it was the biggest one, so, therefore, she had the biggest closet where they stored a lot of stuff, including extra blankets and pillows.
“here you go, this is the warmest one.” ellie handed you a blanket. “if lisa tries to take it from you, just tell her to fuck off.”
you chuckled, “got it.”
you took the liberty to look around as she searched for the rest of them. her room was definitely a glimpse of who ellie was, you instantly could tell she was an artsy person combined with a nerdy side. various sketches were laying on her desk, as well as books about astronomy and many, many books about dinosaurs. she had a pile of them stacked on her nightstand.
you walked towards them, leaving the blanket on top of her bed.
“you like dinosaurs?”
well, she couldn’t ignore you when you were alone. that would be just plain rude.
“everybody likes dinosaurs,” she replied, standing on her tiptoes to reach the last pillow. she didn’t know why she had put them so high.
“to this amount?” you picked one of the books and glanced through the pages. ‘The Great Dinosaur Debate’, it read on the cover.
ellie walked over to you, “is it my fault that they’re interesting?”
you looked up from the book, a playful grin on your lips, “you’re a nerd.”
“look who’s talking.”
“how would you know if i’m a nerd?”
“lisa talks.” and we have, too, actually. several times, she completed the sentence inwardly.
you rolled your eyes, “at least i don’t pretend to be cool on stage.”
“i’m not pretending, i am cool. the best of both worlds, right?” she gloated with an arrogant smile.
you left the book back on the pile and grabbed another one, “you know, i’ve always wanted to learn more about dinosaurs. maybe learn from someone who knows a lot would be nice,” you casually mentioned, hoping ellie would take the hint.
“oh, i have a lot of books i could lend you. these guys know everything.”
she didn’t.
you tilted your head to the side, unable to erase the smile off your face. it was difficult to believe the ellie standing in front you was the same ellie who was on stage an hour ago.
“sure, i’d love that.” with that, you grabbed the blanket ellie had given you and a bunch of pillows and went back to the living room. ellie followed you closely, throwing each of her friends a blanket.
they had finally decided on a movie, so once you and ellie were back they pressed play.
it was a cheap movie about the end of the world and the actors were almost as bad as the special effects. ellie would‘ve found it hilarious if she had been able to focus on it.
you were sitting on the floor with your back against the couch, wrapped up in the blanket she had given you. from where she was, ellie had a perfect view of your side-profile and, even though she felt like a creep, she couldn’t help her gaze from falling on you. especially when you laughed at her friend’s jokes or chimed in with one of your one.
it was practically torture.
once the movie ended, she felt like she could finally breathe again. dina turned the lights back on and, naturally, the first thing ellie did was look at you. it surprised her to find that you were already looking at her.
“i thought you had fallen asleep. you didn’t talk once.”
“i was just too caught up in the movie.” she averted her gaze from you to her shoes, knowing damn well she couldn’t tell you what the hell the movie was about.
unaware of her white lie, you nodded as you continued folding the blankets everyone had left on the couch. “want me to help you take these back to your room?”
“uh, yeah— yes. sure, let’s go,” ellie pathetically tripped over her words before leading the way.
you followed closely, your mouth curving into a small smile at her answer.
silence enveloped the two of you when you entered her bedroom for the second time. you handed her the neatly folded blankets and watched as she stored them.
“i didn’t get a chance to tell you how well you played tonight,” you spoke up, making her glance back at you for a second.
“you think?” she smiled before putting away the last blanket.
you hummed, “couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”
ellie’s heart skipped a beat at the memory of your eyes following her every move. it was a miracle she had her back facing you and you didn’t witness the way an obvious flush spread across her face. “i take it i exceeded your expectations, then?”
“yeah, absolutely.”
sending you a coy smile, she clasped her hands together behind her back. “told you so,” she said as she walked past you.
you went back to the living room, where you found the rest of the group vivaciously talking about something that, apparently, didn’t concern you or ellie by the way they went quiet when they saw you two approach.
“guys? i think i’m gonna go. it’s getting pretty late—”
“ellie will drive you home,” jesse quickly said, making the aforementioned look up at him, disoriented.
“huh?”
“yeah?” you looked at her, lips pulling into a small smile.
who could say no to that face?
jesse threw ellie the car keys, mouthing ‘you’re welcome’ while you hugged dina and lisa goodbye. she frowned, silently inquiring what did he mean by that before setting her gaze on you.
“you ready?” ellie asked from the doorframe, waiting for you.
the cold breeze from the night hit the both of you the moment you stepped outside. given how late it was, the neighborhood was deadly quiet. the only thing interrupting the silence was the sound of your footsteps.
ellie held the passenger’s door open for you and gifted you a smile when you thanked her, slightly touching her arm. she let out a shaky breath before getting in the car herself.
after giving her your adress, she started driving in silence. her knuckles were turning white due to the tight grip she had on the wheel.
trying to be as discreet as possible, ellie glanced at you from the corner of her eyes but, once again, she met your gaze.
“what?” she couldn’t help but ask, a smile slowly forming on her lips.
you laughed softly, taking your eyes off her and looking down at your fidgeting hands. “oh, nothing.”
“right…” ellie set her eyes back on the road as she turned on the radio.
the quietness of the night got interrupted by the sound of ‘i want to know what love is’ by foreigner. both of you instantly looked at each other when you recognized the song and burst out laughing.
“woah, setting the mood?”
it surprised you when her sheepish tone changed into a slight teasing one, matching yours, “i don’t know, is it working?”
“maybe, maybe.”
the laughter gradually quieted down, letting the cheesy song’s chorus fill the silence. you shot ellie a quick glance, smiling to yourself as you listen to the lyrics.
“it is great song, though,” you commented.
“classic,” ellie added, eyes on the road.
“absolutely.”
you arrived at your place not much longer after that, since your building wasn’t that far away from hers. ellie turned off the engine and looked at you just as you turned your head to her.
“thank you for driving me and for giving me the warmest blanket. especially for the blanket.”
“you’re welcome.” the smile that ellie sent you back was a little too sweet for you to be able to function properly.
you forced yourself to look away from her, not wanting to look like a creep. unfortunately, you appeared to be destined to embarrass yourself that night one way or another. when you tried to unbuckle your seatbelt, it got stuck. you struggled in silence for a bit before giving up and looking at ellie, who had obviously noticed what was going on and was staring at you amusedly.
ellie leaned over, laughing softly at your helpless expression. “i told jesse a million times to sell this piece of crap and buy a new car,” she murmured, shaking her head.
she was close, way too close. your eyes automatically placed on her, as they always seemed to do ever since you met her. a small smile appeared on your lips when you heard her mutter a series of curses under her breath.
“there.” she returned to her seat, giving you the space you needed to regulate your breathing but, at the same time, the space you didn’t want. you happened to like having her close.
“thank you,” you grinned, but your smile faltered a little when you realized that you had to leave. maybe you were being overly dramatic, but you didn’t know when you were going to see her again, so you couldn’t help but feel disappointed that the night had come to an end. “see you around, ellie. thank you for driving me.”
“see you.” her voice was barely above a whisper.
ellie waited for you to be inside your building before leaving. you waved at her one last time, making a smile appear on her lips.
she didn’t put on music on the drive back home. it was just her alone with her thoughts. it was funny, they all seemed to revolve around you.
she went to sleep that night feeling guilty. it wasn’t right for her to be thinking about you that way. it didn’t matter it hadn’t worked out, lisa had liked you first. you were off-limits.
so the world kept spinning, time kept passing, life kept going, and ellie kept trying to forget about you. it wasn’t an easy task, since you had managed to infiltrate even her most random dreams. if that weren’t enough, you started hanging out with the group more often. jesse and dina had both taken a liking in you, too. she obviously couldn’t blame them.
ellie started making up excuses to miss said hangouts, which made her feel bad but she figured some time away from you would help dissolve whatever feelings were brewing inside of her.
she considered she was doing a pretty decent job, but that was until she ran into you on the street.
“ellie!”
you looked as radiant as always, maybe even more since your beauty seemed to be heightened by the fact she had tried so hard to forget about it. it hit her harder than she imagined.
“hey! uh, what’s up?” her reply came out in pathetic stutters, but you didn’t seem to mind.
“oh, nothing. just on my way home. doing some grocery shopping?” you pointed at the bags ellie was holding, to which she nodded.
“yeah, yeah. we were out of sugar n’ stuff.”
“i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever. you missed movie night at dina’s.”
“yeah, i know. i’ve been busy.”
the hectic sounds of the crowded street didn’t hide the fact that a deafening silence followed ellie’s short answer. you stood there, waiting for her to say something else, or even look you in the eyes.
“listen, um, i gotta go. i’m late for… something. see you around?”
stunned, you watched as she hurriedly walked past you. you tried to make sense of what had just happened, trying to recall if you could have possible done something to upset her, but nothing came to mind.
ellie turned around the corner cringing at her own behavior. she felt awful and spent the entire walk home trying to shake off the embarrassment.
lisa, who was already at the apartment, curiously observed her friend as she helped her put away everything she had bought.
“you okay, dude?” she asked her once she caught ellie staring a little too long at the wall.
“yeah, why?”
“are you sure? you’ve been acting weird lately.”
she sighed, “i’m good, i swear.”
“really? because a little bird told me you seemed off today.”
ellie shot her friend a glance, knowing that little bird was you. “oh. yeah, about that…”
what was she supposed to say? that she practically ran away from you because she couldn’t handle being around you without feeling fucking butterflies in her stomach and that it made her feel terribly guilty and the same time it scared the shit out of her?
“it’s nothing, lisa. i was just in a hurry—”
“do you have a problem with her or something?”
“what? no, of course not.”
“then why do you keep running away from her? you never hang out with us when she’s there.”
“i already told you it’s nothing.”
“we honestly thought you liked her. maybe we’ve been wrong this entire time?” she asked more to herself than to ellie.
ellie let out an awkward chuckle, “i do. she’s cool. why wouldn’t i like her?”
“no, me and the guys had this theory. we thought you liked her as in like her, as more than friends.”
ellie averted her gaze from lisa to the floor, “what?” she asked in a high-pitched voice. “no, i don’t.”
“oh my god, i knew it. you were so making eyes at each other when she came to see us play—”
“we weren’t—”
“—then, i told the others and they noticed the same thing. that’s why jesse told you to drive her home.”
suddenly, her friend’s behavior started making sense and she could not be more mortified. had she been that obvious?
“y’know, she asks me about you all the time, then she plays it off by asking about dina and jesse too, but i know she doesn’t really care about them.”
ellie’s stomach fluttered at the new information, but she shook her head. “that doesn’t mean anything.”
“is that why you’re acting weird? you like her but you don’t think she feels the same? cause let me tell you, she obviously does,” lisa told her, searching to meet her eyes. seeing ellie stayed silent, she spoke up again. “i don’t mind, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“lisa…”
“ellie…” she mocked her, unable to hide her amused smile. “so that’s what happened? you were worried i’d get mad if you liked her?”
ellie nodded, finally looking at her. “i felt bad.”
“aw, aren’t you a big ol’ softie underneath that permanent scowl?” lisa laughed, making ellie roll her eyes. “if i knew that was the thing holding you back i would’ve told you to go for it a long time ago. i just didn’t want to pressure you, i know you don’t like to talk about that stuff.”
“it’s not the only thing that’s holding me back,” ellie mumbled as she scratched the back of her neck, gaze cast downward.
“ellie she likes you, i mean it. when we were on stage she didn’t look at the rest of us once. not even when i fell, she probably didn’t even notice.”
“you fell?”
“exactly. you two were in your own little world. it’s cute, actually. so, if you’re really interested, ask her out.”
it was painfully obvious how interested ellie was but, even with lisa’s blessing and words of reassurance, she wasn’t entirely convinced you liked her back. there was the possibility you were too nice, that’s all. so, she decided to do something she never thought she’d do.
ellie left it to the hands of fate.
no matter the outcome, the universe would send some kind of signal if she should ask you out. what she didn’t expect, was that the universe would act so quickly.
only two days passed before ellie saw you again.
for some reason, she had decided to walk home after band practice. she was too caught up in her own world to notice anything happening around her, but the sound of a familiar voice snapped her back to reality.
you were talking to a dog that seemed to be attentively listening as if he understood what you were saying. “you can’t pee on strangers. or anyone, for that matter.”
a short, soft laugh escaped her lips at the situation. ellie put her hands in her pockets, a wave of nerves suddenly washing over her at hesitation grew within her. letting out a small sigh, she gathered all her courage and straightened her back. ellie began approaching you with a determined look on her face.
“hey.”
your head shot up, the corners of your lips tugging up in a smile as soon as you saw who it was. “ellie, hi!”
the dog beside you immediately jumped at her, attacking her with several kisses as his tail moved at an impossibly fast speed. ellie chuckled as she kneeled down to pet him.
“oh, i’m sorry!”
“it’s okay, i don’t mind.”
“he must really like you. he doesn’t let strangers pet him.”
“yeah?” ellie smiled up at you before returning her gaze to the dog in front of her.
eh, not really. he’s actually the friendliest dog to ever grace the earth but you’re pretty and you make me nervous. “yeah,” you grinned.
“what’s his name?”
“chip. he’s my niece’s, actually. i’m just talking him for a walk while she’s at school,” you explained, trying not to look to affected by her presence. it was hard.
ellie hummed, deep in thought. suddenly, she looked up at you again, “want some company?”
her question took you by surprise, especially after your last encounter. “uh, yes, i’d like that.”
the two of you began walking at a slow pace, sometimes stopping to wait for chip who got distracted by something that caught his attention. ellie asked how your day was going, and once you were done telling her you asked how hers was. it was a calm conversation, the total opposite of how you two were feeling inside.
“i wanted to apologize for leaving so quick the other day.”
“oh, you don’t have to. it’s fine, really.”
“no, it’s not. i’m sorry, it’s just— um, have you talked to lisa?”
you glanced at her, “not recently, why? did something happen?”
“no, no. i was just wondering.”
“you were wondering because…?”
ellie chuckled awkwardly, realizing what she had gotten herself into. she could play dumb and avoid the conversation, but that would be not listening to the universe and that would be a very dumb thing to do, wouldn’t it?
“you’re just friends, right?”
you gave her another quick side-eyed glance, “yes, why?”
“you don’t like her that way and she doesn’t like you that way either, right?”
you let out a short laugh, “yes, ellie. our date wasn’t what we expected so we decided to just stay friends. i already told you that.”
“then let me show you how it’s done.”
you whipped your head around and stared at her as your surprised expression began to morph into a giddy grin. “what?”
“let me take you on a proper date. are you free tomorrow?”
“really?”
“if— if you want, of course.”
in that moment, ellie knew she had made the right choice and internally thanked the universe for pushing her to do so. the way your face lit up at her words was priceless, and it was also a sign that you were as interested in her as she was in you.
you gleefully accepted her request with a warm smile, one that almost knocked the air out of ellie. she promised to text you so she could tell you the details, and she stuck to her word because once you arrived home there was a message from her waiting for you.
you began texting right away. more precisely, you sent hundreds of voicenotes throughout the day and she happily listened to them, replying with an equal amount of texts and lame reaction pictures (which you loved).
“you’re okay with this, right?” ellie asked lisa for the hundredth time as she was about to leave for your date.
her friend, who was sitting comfortably on their couch, rolled her eyes for the hundredth time, too. “ellie, i swear to god if you ask me again—”
“alright! alright.”
“have fun, dork.”
“yeah, yeah,” she muttered as she grabbed the keys to jesse’s car, who had kindly let her borrow it for the date. “don’t wait up, i know how to keep a girl entertained.”
“fuck you!” ellie heard lisa say before she closed the door behind her. she went snickering to herself the whole way to the car, but soon her cockiness evaporated and, instead, a feeling of uncertainty replaced it.
she began second guessing every decision she made the closer she got to your house. was her outfit nice? was her hair okay? was the bouquet of flowers too much? was the date idea she had planned the most nerdy thing ever thought? the answer to that last question was probably, but there was no time to change it, she was already waiting for you outside.
she shuffled her feet as she moved from side to side, her grip on the stems of the flowers tightening. once she heard someone coming, her head shot up. her lips instantly curved into a smile when she saw you. you had the biggest grin on your face as you approached her. ellie’s smile widened even more when she noticed what you had on your hands.
flowers.
“we’re too cheesy, aren’t we?” you scrunched up your nose, slightly tilting your head to the side as ellie laughed. you proceeded to exchange bouquets, your fingers briefly brushing hers. “these are beautiful, thank you.” the compliment left your lips in a tone so sweet it had ellie melting. “alright, should we go?”
“you’re not gonna leave them to put them in water or something?”
“that’s for when i get back. i wanna show them off first. unless the super secret date location isn’t flower-friendly?”
“oh, no, you can take them. it’ll be fine.”
ellie’s chosen date destination was the museum. it was nerdy but, fortunately for her, you were thrilled once you found out. you kept telling her how excited you were while you waited in line, swinging the flowers around as you gesticulated.
there was a small smile on her lips as she attentively listened to you talk about your first experience in a museum and how you’ve always wanted to go to one again, but never got around to it.
it was strange to think about when ellie first saw you in a picture. you caught her attention right away. now, you were in front of her, gifting her your presence and your kind smiles.
everything was going great, but the constant reminder that she wasn’t being completely honest with you caused a persistent feeling of guilt to set on the pit of her stomach.
“i have to tell you something,” ellie said after a moment of silence.
your eyebrows instantly scrunched together at her tone. “everything okay?”
“you said lisa seemed different in person than through text. she probably knew nothing about the movies and characters she said to like when you talked about it on your date, right? well, that’s because it was actually me behind those texts. just when those topics came out, you know, it wasn’t me always. so, basically, i feel really bad about not telling you sooner. you probably think this is weird, right?” ellie let out an awkward chuckle after her (way too long) rambling.
you stared at her in silence, processsing the great amount of information she had given you in just five seconds. suddenly, you laughed.
“it really threw me off when lisa said she loved anakin and legolas’ friendship. then i saw your room. i knew something was fishy, though i never would’ve have guessed i actually talked to you and you weren’t just telling her what to say.”
ellie hid her face behind her hands, laughing at lisa’s huge mistake. “i can’t believe she got aragorn and anakin mixed up.”
you chuckled, “yeah, and that wasn’t the worst one.”
“oh my god,” she groaned. “wait, so, you knew?”
“kind of. i didn’t ask lisa about it because i didn’t want her to be embarrassed or anything, so i just assumed something like that had happened.”
“and you’re not mad?”
“i wouldn’t be here if that were the case, but thank you for telling me,” you said, smiling sweetly at her and reaching for her hand to give her a quick little squeeze. “c’mon, we’re holding the line.”
much to ellie’s dismay, your hand slipped away from hers. she couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed at how brief the contact had been. still, having told you the whole truth, ellie was practically floating behind you.
“by the way, i wanted to tell you something, too,” you started, making her look into your eyes. “going on dates with two different people in such a short time is not like me, y’know? especially if those people are friends.”
“okay…”
“i just don’t want you to get the wrong idea of me.”
“what, that you’re homie hopper?”
“ellie!” you laughed in disbelief.
“i’m kidding,” she playfully rolled her eyes. you watched as her teasing smirk turned into a soft smile.
ellie had never been an affectionate person. in fact, having someone constantly touching her wasn’t something she craved and seeing couples that were too into public displays of affection made her sick. then, she met you.
standing so close to you was torture. every fiber of her being screamed to get closer and, for the first time, she initiated contact. seeing you two were next in line, she took that opportunity to grab your hand and lead you into the museum. she didn’t turn around to see your reaction, but she didn’t have to. you squeezed her hand and intertwined your fingers, indicating that you wouldn’t let go.
you walked side by side at an unhurried pace, taking the time to soak in everything you saw. the rest of the world could have disappeared and neither of you would have cared. in that moment, all that existed were each other and the hushed conversations you shared. the both of you were so caught up in your own little bubble that often forgot there were people around and you had to apologize every time you laughed a little too loud.
ellie knew a lot about everything, you were in complete awe of her. you were certain you could listen to her tell you a million random facts and never get tired of it. the best part was when you finally reached the section where everything dinosaur-related was displayed.
“you said you wanted to learn about them, didn’t you?” she asked with a playful smirk. “you still have time to want to take it back, because i will not be able to shut up once i start.”
you shook your head, smiling fondly at her. “i will listen to every word.”
and you did. sometimes you asked her questions, leading her to talk even more than she intended. it worried her that you could get annoyed, but she could see the genuine interest in your eyes whenever she looked at you.
time flew by much faster than you would’ve wanted. many conversations were shared throughout the whole date. some were meaningful and some weren’t, but each and every one of them would stay engraved in each other’s memories.
you would always remember ellie’s biggest regret, her favorite candy, the first time she fell in love, the age she learned how to ride a bike and how much she hated reality shows.
she would always remember the first time someone broke your heart, that you preferred tea over coffee, your favorite cartoon growing up and your irrational fear of mannequins.
both of you would always remember the comfortable silences you shared during the art section and the way both of you giggled whenever you caught each other’s eyes.
now, standing outside of your building under a starry sky, you already felt nostalgic about a night that wasn’t even technically over yet.
“thank you for today. it totally exceeded my expectations, and they were really, really high, by the way.”
“yeah?” ellie smiled widely before biting down her bottom lip.
“yeah.” you nod, grinning. “i had a lot of fun.”
“me too.”
you kept staring at each other, unable to erase the dumb smiles off your lips.
“did i score a second date?”
“you even scored a third one.”
ellie laughed at your answer, momentarily looking down at her shoes. when she met your gaze again, she felt time slowing as well as her breath. you were the one who took the first step, quite literally, standing closer to her whilst she seemed to be completely still.
your eyes met for a brief moment before you finally closed the gap between you and enveloped you two on a very eagerly awaited kiss. the contact made ellie come back to her senses and she reacted almost instantly, making you smile against her.
you had been waiting for that moment to come since beginning of the night and, yet, you still weren’t ready for the way it made you feel. it was overwhelming, in the best way possible.
“i’d invite you over but, unfortunately for you, i’m a lady,” you murmured as your fingers intertwined on the back of her head, the bouquet of flowers hanging upside down on her back.
ellie grinned against your lips before giving you one final kiss. “goodnight.”
you had said your goodbyes. the next step was for ellie to leave, but she found herself glued to the floor. your soft smile quickly became a teasing smirk when you realized she had no intention to move.
“did you forget how to walk?”
her next move pleasantly surprised you. she raised one of her hands to the back of your neck and pulled gently to draw you into another kiss. it felt so natural, so right.
“i think it’s time for our second date,” she mumbled, smiling dazedly.
“now?”
she was still so close.
“please.”
you weren’t sure how it was possible for you to hear her whispering voice over the loud beating of your heart.
“let’s just— let’s drive around and see where we end up.”
you grinned, immediately nodding at her proposal.
who could say no to that face?
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genderqueerdykes · 25 days ago
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is it bad that i hate when people take my posts about trans issues and make trans women the center of them. my posts always say “trans people” when i talk generally about the violence and transphobia because i mean that. all trans people, not only one kind. but every time the comments turn it into a discussion revolving around trans women.
i’m not against talking about specific demographics! but it’s very frustrating when people take trans men and non-binary people out of the picture when i intentionally included them by NOT specifying a specific gender of trans people.
it’s honestly very disappointing and disheartening that trans men aren’t included in any type of discussion when it comes to trans issues. at least not that i see, i don’t know.
additionally, when (mainly perisex cis)people claim their supposed allyship to trans people, they only talk about how they include trans women in their feminism and women’s spaces. no mention of trans men. and when we ARE talked about, it’s “i hate trans men because they’re just like cis men :)” or “no i don’t want trans men in WOMENS spaces because they’re men”.
i don’t know… maybe i’m too sensitive, but it’s something i don’t like. we should definitely bring awareness to trans women’s issues but not completely forget about the existence of trans men.
i think it's okay to feel that way. i don't care for when people do that to me, either. this discussion is long overdue and so few people want to have it, but this is an issue. yes, trans women are allowed to talk about our issues, we are. i'm not saying we should never speak. what i'm saying is we can't take posts that are made for everyone and make them about us and us alone.
we need to stop making conversations about transmasculine people about us. not all nonbinary people are transfeminine, other intersex, multigender, nonbinary, genderqueer, gendervast, gnc, etc people need a chance to speak. like i'm serious, it's okay to talk about one's own experience. but if it is explicitly to point out why people should not listen to other people when they are talking about their own issues, and that they should listen to you instead, you are controlling the narratives, and shifting the goalposts.
it's one thing to say "here's what i experience" but if someone takes your post and goes. hey actually. trans women have it the worst. they're the one leaving other people out of the picture in that situation. whenever you try to point this out on this website, people foam at the mouth to try to kill you and it's ridiculous. when, well, with so many people bringing it up:
it's an issue.
there's been a specific group of people who identify as transradfems and people who identify with their politics even if they don't know the name for it. they are pushing people to be quiet and not speak about their own experiences because somehow that silences trans women, as if we can only be about one type of queer person at once. it's gotten old. like can we seriously just have this conversation already and be done with?
i feel like i have to say the thing that most people are afraid of, because this conversation is way overdue.
can disenfranchised dysphoric trans women stop attacking men & mascs because you don't like being seen as one? can disenfranchised trans women who have been hurt by men stop attacking men who haven't hurt you?
enough. men & mascs are not your personal punching bag. manhood isn't what hurt you. being forced to be a man or masc is what hurt you. the general concept of manhood and men did not hurt you. let go. i understand it's painful to get misgendered and treated as a man for life. it sucks. you don't deserve that. no trans woman does. nobody deserves to be misgendered. you don't deserve to be dehumanized because people refuse to see you for who you are. it's okay to acknowledge that you're in pain. but you gotta let the fuck go of your irrational hatred, because it will never help you accept or love yourself
you will never experience true trans joy if you spend all of your time hating on other people. hate solves nothing. if that's the only thing you see, that's the only thing you feel. if hate has nowhere else to go, it rapidly turns inward. you will not be seen as a woman by more people if you attack men. you will not be accepted by cis radfems if you attack men and parrot their politics. this isn't helping you, or anyone else.
we need to break down these walls and talk to each other. trans women and trans men can have conversations about our experiences at the exact same time. conversations involve multiple points of input. if we're only allowing one type of person to speak and one type of person to speak only: that is a lecture. that is not a discussion. if you never listen or give other people a chance to speak, you are lecturing them.
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lvndrfucks · 7 months ago
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You immediately gained Hawk and Miguel’s attention as soon as you walked into the party. Their eyes shamelessly moved up and down your body, enraptured by the light reflecting off your smooth legs and the tightness of your top clinging to your chest. You threw your long hair back over your shoulders as you laughed at something your friend said. The way your face brightened was already a turn on for them if they were being quite honest.
Miguel stared in awe as if a goddess herself walked through the door. The beauty he was witnessing was one he knew he could never find again in the world. He would get down on his hands and knees to worship the ground you walked upon, do anything you asked him to in a heartbeat.
Hawk smirked to himself. He loved challenges and you looked like a puzzle that he had to complete. He could become anything you wanted him to if that meant you being under him by the end of the night. He’d let himself fall with the risk of not knowing if you were at the bottom or not. Your word would be sacred to him.
You were rummaging through the cooler for a drink when you noticed them. Hawk was leading with Miguel trailing behind.
“Looking for anything specific,” he asked. There was a lively glint in his eye that was easy to detect.
“Just something good,” you answered. “I don’t like to waste my time on disappointment.”
Hawk raised his eyebrows at the phrase, intrigued. “I’d hate for that to happen.” He walked past you to the fridge.
As he looked through, you glanced at his quiet friend. He sent you a sheepish smile that you returned.
“It’s Miguel, right,” you asked him.
“Um, ye— yeah. Yeah, it’s Miguel.”
The way you stared from head to toe made him inhale shakily. What were you thinking? What did you want from him?
Hawk handed you a bottle that made you nod, impressed. He walked back to Miguel and threw his arm around his shoulders.
“Only the baddest badass in the whole damn valley,” he bragged. This made Miguel’s cheeks glow red as he shook his head and laughed.
You observed the way they bantered with each other. Not exactly like brothers, but something different.
“I gotta get back to my friends, but I’ll see you guys later.” You popped the cap off the bottle and took a drink while you walked away.
Hawk’s face fell as he quickly turned around. “W— wait.” You looked over your shoulder at him. “We thought you wanted to hang out for a bit. With us.”
You looked back and forth between them. Between Hawk’s words and Miguel’s pleading eyes, they shared a look of desperation.
“Maybe later.”
Miguel’s shoulders slumped, dismayed, but Hawk patted his shoulder.
“She said later,” Hawk repeated once you left.
“And there was a maybe before it,” Miguel added. “What makes you think she’d want to hang out with us?”
“Because we’re awesome?” He spoke as if it was the most obvious observation in the world.
“Not when you say shit like that.”
Miguel pushed his shoulder playfully that Hawk returned with a grin. They moved past the moment to try and enjoy themselves with the rest of the party, unaware of you staring from a distance. The corner of your lip upturned watching them.
The party was going on for hours. Even when hoards of people left, the energy was still there. Throughout the night, you had exchanged small glances and smiles towards Hawk and Miguel, like you were acknowledging the fact you haven’t forgotten about them.
Miguel was watching from one of the lounge seats outside as you waved off to your friends driving away. He was confused to why you haven’t left, but it gave him a small amount of hope. That small feeling grew once he saw you walking towards them. He hit Hawk’s arm for his attention.
The boy looked at Miguel and back at you. His smirk returned.
“Mind if I sit?” Your head tilted to the side as you smiled. One leg was crossed over the other while you kept your hands behind your back. It looked purely innocent in their eyes.
“Go ahead.” Hawk gestured to the empty seat next to Miguel and took a drink from his cup.
Miguel noticed the way your skirt was riding up your legs when you sat down. His eyes shifted towards yours to see you were already staring at him, that same pretty smile on your face.
“So, you guys met doing karate,” you asked.
“A little before that. I guess karate brought us closer.” Hawk nudged Miguel’s arm with his fist softly.
“And which one of you is the best?” They seemed confused, so you clarified, “At karate.”
They were a little surprised at the forward question. Glancing at each other, they shrugged.
“Technically, Miguel’s won the All Valley tournament,” Hawk stated.
“Yeah, but so did you this year. Not to mention, you were in the semi-finals last year,” Miguel added. “And you represented us for the Sekai Tekai.”
You watched them curiously go back and forth as they engaged with one another.
“Look how that ended.” A bitter look overcame Hawk as he remembered the most recent fight.
“That doesn’t matter, man,” Miguel defended. “You would’ve won that fair if they didn’t cheat. That ref didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about.”
For a boy so shy and sweet looking, you liked the assertiveness he brought when it came to defending his friend. Hawk must’ve thought the same thing as his cheeks tinted a light red.
“I haven’t seen you guys fight before.” Your tone made it sound like a challenge. You didn’t say more after, but it also seemed like enough said.
“Have you ever wanted to do karate,” Miguel asked you.
“When I was younger, I did. My mom took me out, though, because she thought it gave me aggression issues. Which, it didn’t. She just thought it was too violent.” You rolled your eyes while leaning back in the chair.
“It can be.”
Both boys started remembering everything that had happened to them after joining karate. Although there were a lot of great moments, the bad ones could never be forgotten. There was a point in time they feared their friendship would never be the same anymore.
“Sounds like you two have a long history together,” you said. “Is there anything else you guys share besides karate?”
Miguel chuckled a bit. “What do you mean share?”
You shrugged innocently. “What do you think I mean?”
The two boys glanced at each other, unsure if they were understanding you correctly. You looked back and forth between them as you awaited an answer.
“I don’t know. I mean we’re kind of polar opposites in ways, I guess,” Hawk answered.
“So, like, one of you is a virgin and the other is a freak in the sheets?”
Miguel laughed nervously into his cup to hide his red face while Hawk found your questions amusing.
“Who would you think is who,” Hawk asked.
You hummed while tilting your head. You reached over to place your hand on Miguel’s shoulder, the tips of your fingers skimming his curls.
“You look as innocent as they come,” you told him. Noticing Hawk’s smug smile, you continued, “But it’s always the innocent ones that are the kinkiest, right?” You sat back in the chair, your touch leaving Miguel’s. “So, do either of you live around here?”
Miguel cleared his throat and pointed. “Yeah. Just over there.”
You nodded and stood up. They watched as you walked towards his apartment. You looked back at them.
“Are you coming?” You made sure to make eye contact with each boy.
Hawk and Miguel glanced at each other and quickly stood up, trailing behind. You waited patiently for Miguel to open the door and he welcomed you inside. It was dark, meaning no one was home.
“Where’s your bedroom?”
Miguel felt himself get choked up. “Bed— bedroom? It’s, um, it’s just down the hallway.”
You nodded, walking that way. Hawk was eagerly close behind with a restless Miguel. Thankfully, he cleaned his room beforehand.
You pushed open the door and stepped inside. “I like your posters.” You chuckled staring at a particular one. “My mom loves Guns N’ Roses. She plays it like every morning.”
The boys were too nervous to even respond. They were both wondering if this was heading into the direction they think it was. Their answer came quickly as you carefully sat down on Miguel’s bed. You didn’t say anything and looked at them with a single raised brow.
In a blink of an eye, the boys were on either side of you. You couldn’t help but smile at their excitement. They sat so close to you, your legs were pressed against the fabric of their jeans. A small breath left your lips as you looked at Hawk.
You placed your hand on his cheek and leaned in. He did the same until you turned your head last minute to place a gingerly kiss on his cheek. You pulled away with an innocent smile. The comforter crumpled under Hawk’s grip as he shifted relentlessly. You knew what you were doing.
You looked at Miguel who gulped. You paused your movements in silent questioning and received a nod in response. His hand immediantly grasped the side of your neck as you leaned up to kiss him.
God, Miguel Diaz had to be the most gentle person to ever exist.
He moved with such care, as if savoring the taste of you on his tongue. His grip on you never tightened, only held you close. A stirring in his stomach occurred as your hand moved to his knee and squeezed lightly. He could feel your movements slowing down as you started to pull away. He couldn’t help but chase you pathetically, receiving another squeeze on his knee as a promise.
You looked at Hawk again who was more than prepared. A small smirk was the last thing he saw on your lips before diving in. He moved at a quicker pace. His hand went to your inner thigh, making you squirm. A low moan came from you as he massaged the skin tenderly. For someone with such a soft touch, his mouth was otherwise.
When you pulled away, he attached himself to your neck, peppering kisses everywhere he could. You looked back at Miguel, seeing his blown-out eyes and parted lips. You used your thumb and pointer finger to grab his chin and guide him towards you. As his lips moved against yours, his hand travelled to your stomach and slowly made its way up.
You pulled away again and Miguel kept himself busy on the other side of your neck. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of both boys marking you up, their hands skimming around your body.
Hawk and Miguel pulled away and looked at you for their next move. You grabbed both of them, guiding them towards the middle until the three of you collided.
It was messy and hot. Parted lips claimed yours in a messy kiss, tongue sliding into your mouth and exploring every open space. You started going back and forth with them as they started closing in on you more and more. It nearly made it difficult to turn your head, but one of the boys was always there, awaiting their turn.
You slowly departed from them. But they kept going.
You leaned back on your elbows as Hawk and Miguel indulged with each other. You weren’t sure if they were aware of your lack of presence, or perhaps, they didn’t care. It was like they were starving for each other and succumbed into their cravings.
A low laugh came from you that made them stop. They stared at each other momentarily and looked at you.
“Just friends, my ass,” you retorted, sitting up. You still had a smile on your face as you kissed Hawk first, then Miguel. “You guys are adorable.”
Miguel rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips. He looked at Hawk who was in the same state, one of his arms wrapping around your waist as his chin rested on your shoulder. His hand found Miguel’s and gave a light squeeze.
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hera speaks!
challengers, but cobra kai edition
907 notes · View notes
bwabys-scenarios · 10 months ago
Text
Tethered(NSFW)
Yandere!Kurapika x Fem!Reader
!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!
warnings: dubcon, Kurapika is delusional and obsessive, oral(f!receiving), breeding kink
A/N: My Yandere!Kurapika is super soft… sorry he’s not mean or crazy, he’s only a bit paranoid and obsessive
Yandere NSFW: @lightshowerrr @jungtoast @nenggie @aliceattheart @pannacottababy
‼️If you want to be added to the taglist, please check out the taglist information then comment what you want to be added to! Make sure you have your age in your bio and that your blog can be tagged/mentioned!‼️
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Kurapika never enjoys chaining you up. Not only is it humiliating for you, but he hates seeing the fear and panic on your face when you can’t move.
But it was necessary today, unfortunately.
The day had started out normally. He held you in his lap, giving the top of your head soft kisses as he enjoyed his tea and a good book. You were very compliant, even leaning against his chest, into his touch.
He should have known something was up with you then. You were buttering him up, leading him into a false sense of security. Kurapika truly believed that things were getting better, that you had finally accepted your place by his side, and that maybe… you had even started to love him too.
But he had been wrong, and the truth was enough to break his heart.
Because of your good behavior as of late, he had decided to take you out on a date. You had been laying down hints that you were interested in the aquarium that had opened up in town, and it had been months since you’d last been outside of his property.
The small cabin and garden were nice, but you were getting beyond bored of it. Kurapika believed some time outside may lift your spirits, and even help the two of you bond.
He should have known better.
You were acting like the perfect little girlfriend, holding his hand, letting him explain to you the biology of some of the undersea creatures you passed by in the aquarium, and even sweetly sharing an ice cream cone with him.
It was near the end of the tour when you started looking around, squeezing your legs together.
“Are you alright?” Kurapika asked, his brows knit together in concern.
“A-ah, I’m okay… I just need to use the bathroom…”
Usually, that would have made him suspicious, but you had drank two bottles of water during the walk. He could understand that your bladder just be full, and he was calmed when he noticed you seemed embarrassed to ask him for help. You really did need to use the bathroom.
“Alright, I think I saw one near the exit.”
Kurapika guided you to the bathroom, squeezing your hand and leaning into whisper into your ear. “My angel, you have 5 minutes to get your business done with. Am I clear?”
You nodded quickly, shifting your weight. “Y-yes! Can I go now?”
He sighed, letting your hand go. Even when he was sure there was no way for you to escape, letting you go in public made him irritable. “Hurry.”
He watched you go, smiling slightly when you squeaked and avoided eye contact with any male that came within 5 feet of you. Kurapika wasn’t the type to kill anyone that came near you, but someone touching or talking to you was a different story. You were keeping others from getting hurt, something he found sweet.
If only you knew the amount of people he had killed on your behalf. Maybe you would be so complacent when he curled up with you at night.
Kurapika leaned against the wall, glancing down at the time on his phone. It had been 5 minutes already, and you had yet to walk out. Since it wasn’t busy and people often mistook him for a woman, Kurapika decided to walk in and get you himself, or at least check on you. He didn’t want to embarrass you if you had a stomach ache, so he used In to cloak his presence.
He just didn’t expect to see your plump ass wiggling and squirming as you tried to escape out of a small window.
Kurapika was less angry, more heartbroken and disappointed. He had assumed the two of you were finally getting to the point where he could trust you a little… just for you to try and escape.
“Seems you can’t be trusted, (Name).”
He watched as you flinched from the sound of his voice. It didn’t feel good to know you were afraid of him. “I hope you know this means you won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. You’ll be staying home until further notice.”
Kurapika was well aware that you knew running from him when you were in his line of sight would result in him swiftly catching you, so he waited for a moment for you to pull yourself out of the window and walk back. If you were good and stayed quiet while he drove you home, he might even forget this silly little attempt. It was unsuccessful after all… no harm, right?
But you stayed there, and he could see your thighs starting to tremble slightly from having you stand on your tippy toes to reach the window. Your entire upper half was outside…
“I’m… stuck…”
Kurapika blinked, glancing from you to the bathroom door. “You’re… stuck? Really? You didn’t think this through at all.”
“J-just help me!” you yelped, though you immediately backtracked when you felt his aura frow cold. “P-please, Pika.”
The use of the nickname you had given him before he had kidnapped you, when the two of you had been dating and in love made him calm down immediately. You didn’t use it often now, only when you really needed something or when you were in trouble. Even though he knew it was just to soften him up, he gave in every time.
He just wanted you to call him that again, for you to love him again.
“Alright…”
Kurapika walked forward, eyeing your wiggling hips with his scarlet orbs. He may not be furious, but he still felt anger and betrayal at your attempts to get away from him.
Did he not give you a carefree life, where you wanted for nothing and was pampered like a princess? Hell, the blonde had recreated your room from home to make sure you were as comfortable as possible when he kidnapped took you away.
His hand grabbed hold of your hips, squeezing the fatty flesh. It reminded him of the times before he took you, when he would hold onto you right as he fucked into your soaking cunt, whispering words of love and worship. You were his everything, and he did all of these things to keep you safe…
Couldn’t you see that? Couldn’t you understand that behind all of his actions that may seem cruel and unfair, that he did it all for you? Kurapika had thrown away his moral code, sacrificed sleep and time all for you.
Maybe he just had to remind you how good it felt to be with him.
He started off with a soft caress to the small of your back, slowly moving his hand to cup your ass. You let out a yelp, your wiggling increasing. “K-Kurapika, what are you-“
He squeezed harder, his thumb rubbing against your clothes cunt. “Quiet. You just need a little reminder, my angel. You won’t want to leave again after this…”
Kurapika bent down, lifting your skirt to get to your panties. He couldn’t help the pride that swelled up in his chest when he saw the wet spot already forming. Just his touch could get you like this…
“Oh, my little angel… is this why you’ve been so restless? Been missing me?” he muttered to himself, giving a soft kiss to your clothed pussy. “I’m sorry… I wanted to give you space to get used to your new home, I should have been taking care of you better.”
You could only whine, feeling his hands easily pry open your thighs. Your panties were ripped off, tossed to the side so he could get to your pretty, dripping cunt.
“How I’ve missed you…” he said softly, giving your pussy a soft kiss. “I love you so much… let me take care of you, like I used to…”
You were barely able to hold back your moans as his tongue lapped at your folds softly, finding your clit within seconds. He couldn’t help smirking when you pressed your pussy against tongue. You wanted more, you were just too shy to say it… right?
He sucked softly on your clit, his fingers teasing your hole as you panted. “P-please…” you whispered, your legs shaking. Your face was hot and you were starting to sweat, the outside air muggy from the small rainstorm earlier that day. “Need it…”
And he complied, fucking you on his fingers. His other hand kept a hold of your hip as his tongue lapped softly at your clit. “Whatever you want, my angel. Anything you ask for is yours…”
Kurapika kept at it until you cried out his name, moving your hips to meet his fingers. “G-gonna-!”
You came, making a mess on his hand. He didn’t mind at all though, feeling a sense of satisfaction as he licked away the mess. “There we go… you must feel better now, right?”
You nodded, but he couldn’t see that so you answered softly, still recovering. “Y-yeah…”
It did feel good�� but you still didn’t want to be trapped with him. You had loved Kurapika once, and maybe you still cared for him to some extent, but being kidnapped and forced into isolation where he was your only company would drive anyone insane…
“I wanna… go home…” you murmured, feeling him pull your panties back over your ass. He seemed to enjoy taking care of you like this. Dressing you, brushing your teeth, doing your hair… even though you could do it all yourself, he insisted on helping you.
Maybe he wanted to feel useful so you would willing stay with him. A willing lover was much better than a captive one.
As he tugged your skirt into place, he grabbed your hips and easily pulled you out of the window. You sighed in relief, though that didn’t last long.
You felt the familiar cold sensations of chains wrapping around you, keeping your arms pressed against your side and unusable. You had been hoping he wouldn’t punish you since he had been so sweet.. but it seemed your actions were still enough to at least slightly anger him.
“Since you can’t be trusted, you’re going to stay like this the whole way home. And when we’re back…”
He formed a chain on her wrist that linked to his. “You’ll be tethered to me at all times, until you can learn to behave.”
He seemed weirdly excited about this, his face nuzzling softly against your neck as he walked you to his car.
You were starting to realize this was less of a punishment for you, and more of a treat for him.
Well… at least he seemed happy and wasn’t staring at you coldly before leaving you alone for months. That was the usual punishment. Isolation from even him. When Kurapika was the only human you received human contact and interaction from, it was torture being ignored.
So you counted yourself lucky, only pouting a little at his clingy nature.
‘Surely she understands my love and devotion to her her now.’
He deluded himself into thinking everything was okay… you were by his side, letting him hold you close as the two of you were linked together by the short chain.
In reality, you didn’t want to move away from him and get him in a sour mood after your behavior earlier. So you stayed still and quiet, your face slightly warm as he muttered those same words of adoration that you’d hear every time the two of you made love.
Your heart was beating fast, even though you didn’t want to feel these fuzzy feelings. You still loved him, forever tethered to him whether you liked it or not.
Escape was looking less and less likely… so instead of thinking about it too much, you tried your best to relax, feeling him harden against you.
Would it be so bad to have sex with the man that stole you away from the life you had before? He had been your boyfriend, and god you were too horny to even think as he tugged your panties to the side.
“You want this?” Kurapika asked, his cock rubbing against your needy pussy.
“Y-yes, please Pika!”
And he couldn’t deny you… not when you were begging for him.
His thrusts were messy, full of need and desperation for you. Kurapika had missed this, missed being inside of your warm, tight cunt. It had been months since he had last buried himself inside of you, days before your relationship was changed forever due to him stealing you away.
It felt so good, the both of you feeling all the tension fading away as you were able to focus on nothing but the feeling of your bodies joining together.
“P-Pika!”
His heart pounded in his chest when he heard you call for him. There was no underlying motive, you just wanted him, wanted him to hold you and make you feel good like he did before. You still loved him so much, it hurt. It hurt your very sole to be so reliant on someone that stole your freedom.
“I’m here… shh…”
He quieted you with a kiss, his tongue dancing with yours as you came. Kurapika couldn’t help the way his cock twitched inside of you as he thought about the possibility this creampie could get your pregnant.
One of the things he wanted in life was a family, to continue the Kurta clan bloodline. And you, panting softly after coming down from your high, were the only one he wanted to make a mother.
“Let’s get you cleaned up…”
Kurapika carried you to the bathroom, undressing you. Before, he may have been flustered at the sight of your naked body, but he had been dating you for nearly three years… if you counted the 6 months you’d been held captive with him.
Your body still made him blush, but it was familiar, warm. Safe.
After a quick bath, the two of you curled up in bed together. You didn’t have much of a choice considering the chain keeping the two of you tethered, but even if you weren’t tied to each other, you still would have wanted his comfort after sex.
“Did so well…” he whispered, kissing your forehead. No matter what you did, Kurapika was always so gentle with you.
You could kick, yell, bite, insult him, and scream at the top of your lungs, but he would only restrain you and hold you close. His touch was never rough or meant to hurt you…
“Tired, Pika…”
He hummed softly, his thumb stroking your cheek. “Sleep. I’ll be here, like always.”
It was meant to reassure you, but the thought of never being able to escape him still made you uneasy. Even if you did love him, even if he made you feel good and fuzzy inside… your freedom would still always be out of your reach.
Regardless, it had been a long day, and sleep took you without any consideration for your feelings.
As you dozed off, Kurapika just watched you. He was hopeful that soon enough, he would no longer have to keep you chained for him.
All he wanted was for you to stay with him, to be happy by his side…
And as you slept, curled up in his arms, he smiled softly.
You would always be with him, safe in his arms and away from the nasty outside world full of hate and misery.
He would keep you happy, make sure you were never hurt in any way. His mind couldn’t rest when you weren’t by his side… he needed you just as much as he needed to keep you safe.
Kurapika’s eyes grew heavy, and he knew that soon, he would join you in sleep. He could rest easy, knowing that his darling was right here with him, content and asleep.
“I love you, my precious angel. I hope you know that…”
962 notes · View notes
f1cflcfic · 16 days ago
Text
The Prophecy (SMAU ft. Lando Norris) Part VI
pairing: lando norris x singer!reader (fem!y/n)
summary: what happens after the break-up that noone saw coming? as Y/N L/N gears up to release her next album, each song reveals a little bit of the past, present and future of her relationship with Lando Norris. Inspired by a curated playlist built around "The Prophecy".
note: this is RPF and is obviously in no way, shape, or form reflective of real persons. also, this chapter contains some (implicit) references to sex.
genre: social media au (with written parts), angst, exes to lovers, happy ending
[A/N: and with this chapter, we come to an end of the Prophecy series! I've got some deleted scenes/bonus content, but other than that... time to say goodbye. I hope you've loved this journey as much as I have, do let me know!]
part i part ii part iii part iv part v
♥・*:.。 。.:*・゚♡・*:.。 。.:*・゚♥
December 8th, 2026
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Second week of December, 2026
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[Excerpt from Chicken Shop Date with Y/N L/N & Amelia]
“Are you a romantic?”
“I do – but I’m quite cautious, too. It takes me a while to open myself up to someone else.”
“What’s the most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you?”
Y/N thinks hard, then points at the food in front of them. “I think consistency, actually. Like, I had someone surprise me with my favorite meal every single time after major milestones. I thought it was really nice, especially because when you're tired you just want to spend time together, instead of having to work on putting dinner together for yourselves.”
“Really? You'd rather take-out over a homecooked meal?"
"Knowing your strengths is important in a partner. If you're not the best cook, take-out is the next best thing! And like I said, it's also about time."
"So what you’re saying is going on chicken shop dates is the epitome of romance to you?”
“Exactly,” Y/N says emphatically, pointing a fry at Amelia.
(...)
“Your album is called The Prophecy. Are you very superstitious?”
“Not really, no. But desperate times call for desperate plans. I think things like manifesting can't hurt,” Y/N giggles.
Amelia frowns. “Are you desperate, or are you calling me desperate?”
“Maybe not desperate. Let's go with yearning.”
(...)
“What do you think, is Christmas a good holiday to bring a date to?”
“Hmm , set the scene for me. Is it a friends only party, or family dinner?”
“It’s a dinner party with friends. Would, and should my date be willing to come?”
“Amelia, are you asking me on a second date?”
“Well, no. Maybe? Aren’t you...?”
Y/N blushes. “Let’s be present in the moment!”
“Okay, so tell me – can it be a good second date?”
“I think if you feel super comfortable with them, and you have great friends, the vibe isn’t super formal, then why not? It could be a great trial by fire. Like a new and improved orange peel test.”
“Has someone ever peeled an orange for you?”
“Yes,” Y/N nods. “That’s funny – there is an orange on our table right now.” Camera pans to a Terry’s chocolate orange.
“I’ll peel this one for you,” Y/N offers.
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Third week of December, 2026
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Last week of December, 2026
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January, 2027
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[Excerpt from Vogue]
It’s hard to think of the popstar as anything but unflappable, but she assures me there are plenty of moments in which she doubts herself. “I think anyone who craves that recognition at being good at what you do, is going to struggle with the reality of having people see you all the time. As a perfectionist, I wish I could control everything so people’d only ever see my best self all the time. But that’s a pipedream. There’s so many expectations, it can be difficult to figure out which ones were really your own to begin with – and which ones you’ve started to believe because you don’t want to disappoint anyone.”
Indeed, as a female popstar, L/N has had to deal with her fair share of hate online, oftentimes masked as mild concern or constructive criticism from supposed fans. For example, a leaked song earlier this year spurred fans on to comment and speculate about L/N’s ambition – Did she have enough of it? Was she going to give it all up for a man?
L/N’s the first to admit that it’s not entirely unsurprising, given that the song in question includes a lyric describing her willingness to carry the burdens of someone else by herself. “It’s never fun when stuff you chose not to release ends up finding its way to the public after all. There’s a reason I didn’t want it on the album,” she explains. “But in this case, I wrote the song with my friend Louis [Tomlinson] ages ago. We used it as a reference when I started writing in earnest again earlier this year, but that’s all it was meant to be. A reference.”
So why did it become such an obsession to her fans? Well, if one adds a high-profile relationship on top of a high-profile career, that’s a recipe for things to get complicated. The singer’s latest album details her experience with the subsequent public fall-out. While she previously hasn’t spoken much of her relationship with F1 driver Lando Norris and how it influenced her art, she is candid about it now. “I think for the first time, rather than wanting to use songs to capture the great moments, I used songwriting to help me reflect on what could’ve been, what it wasn't, where it went wrong. And in doing so, that also opened the door for me to grow.”
“It’s really painful to have to come to terms with the fact that sometimes love isn’t enough. Especially when in retrospect, there’s much more room for acknowledging how you contributed to the problem. So yeah, by challenging myself to be vulnerable in my art, I also had to put my own hurt and heart out there again. But I think it’s made me a stronger, better person.”
And what of that relationship now? She has a coy smile on her face.  “Good, I think, really good. I firmly believe my life is a lot richer when he's in it. So I count myself lucky that I get to have his back and he has mine.”
We are just about wrapping up the interview when her phone lights up with a message from L. It’s a link to an IG reel of dogs being bundled up like tiny burritos. It’s so innocuous, you’d almost forget that the person sending it is a star in his own right.
Celebrities, they’re just like us sometimes.
February, 2027
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[Excerpt E! Online Grammy's Red Carpet interview]
"And we're here with the lovely Y/N L/N! Not nominated this year, but a presenter and performer on this night all about music."
"Hiii, thanks for having me!"
"Now tell us, you've had a super exciting year in 2026 - what are you most looking forward to tonight?"
"I'm doing a duet with Miley, which is awesome. I feel so honored they asked me to do this, and I love her so much. She's really one of the iconic voices of this generation, so to stand next to her on that stage? Amazing."
"That's super exciting! The two of you are also both heading on tour, Miley over the summer, you are literally heading out next week. How are you feeling about that?"
"Really good! I'm so excited to see the fans, I've done some shows here and there, but touring life is on another level."
"What else are you looking forward to? Some of your other friends are here tonight, as well, correct?"
Y/N nods. "Yeah, I actually just saw Louis [Tomlinson] arrive - he's nominated tonight so I'll be rooting for him. The Grammy's is always a great moment to catch up with friends as well, so maybe I'm even more excited for the after parties."
"Drink of choice tonight?"
"Probably champagne? Quite like the taste of it, always," Y/N winks at the camera.
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March, 2027
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April, 2027
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FIN.
♥・*:.。 。.:*・゚♡・*:.。 。.:*・゚♥
You can read the previous parts by going here. Keep an eye out for the bonus content/deleted scenes!
The epilogue is now available here.
♥ likes, comments, reblogs are always very much appreciated ♥
taglist (open) : @charlesgirl16, @linnygirl09, @hoeforsirius, @motorsportloverf1, @sarx164, @idkimbadwithusernamesandstuff, @formulaal, @tvdtw4ever @sadiemack9 @seonghwaexile @screamingwines
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suckunaa · 19 days ago
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hate to be lame - hockey!satoru gojo x artist/influencer!reader
summary - you and satoru gojo have been best friends for years. you've also both spent years pining after each other on and off. when you like him he's wrapped up in a new relationship. when he admits to himself he has feelings for you, suddenly you're completely infatuated with the guy you just met at brunch. the timing never seems to be right and you're starting to think that just maybe, that's a sign that the two of you are better off as just friends.
chapter 1 - it might be true (masterlist) prev next
word count: 2.1k
contains: slightly nsfw but nothing crazy (yet), 18+ only
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you rolled your eyes to yourself, trying to ignore the warm feeling in your stomach that appeared because satoru was still jealous over the fact that choso had been invited to karaoke the other night and he hadn't. or at least, if you were being completely honest with yourself, you thought he was jealous. your mind wanders to the night of the restaurant opening, the one you and toru were supposed to go together before he forgot and made plans with someone else. no, not just someone else, another woman.
you had sworn up and down to yourself and all your friends that you were only disappointed because he was your best friend and it was irritating getting forgotten in favor of him getting laid - it was just rude. you weren't jealous. there was nothing to be jealous of. yes, it was true, you had caught yourself on and off through the years catching feelings for the blue eyed hockey player. but it was also true that you had finally decided to move on, that if it hadn't worked out by now then it simply was never going to work out. and contrary to popular belief amongst your friends, you hadn't gone with choso to the opening to make satoru jealous. you and choso were genuinely friends, and you had known his date had fallen through too - it just made sense.
it was just a bonus that it had clearly made satoru gojo jealous.
"no you idiot, he wasn't jealous," you mentally scolded yourself, trying to convince yourself you weren't hoping it was true. your eyes closed as you settled into bed, thoughts drifting back to the other night. choso had been the perfect date. he'd made sure you were comfortable the whole night, even when you were standing together on the red carpet. it wasn't the biggest crowd of photographers, but the restaurant was owned by one of the biggest actors in the industry - of course there was fanfare and a red carpet on opening night. you'd seen some of the photos of the two of you floating around the internet, some rumors flying that the two of you were dating. but that was just the internet, there were always rumors and you had never been one to really care what people did or didn't believe was true. you had to admit, however, that you and choso had looked good together.
once inside you had quickly found your other friends, your date making no complaints about the fact that a lot of his friends were also there but you'd wanted to sit with your girlfriends. it had, despite satoru letting you down, turned into a good night after all. you were a couple drinks in when your eyes started roaming around the crowded room and landed on your best friend. rumi was draped all over him, like his attention was the only one she cared about. and yet, there he was, standing there with her but looking right at you. you lifted your hand up in a wave, offering him a small smile that caused him to blink as if he'd been caught off guard, pausing for a moment before he returned the wave and his signature, easy going smile appeared on his lips.
before you knew it, he was making his way over to your table, rumi still clinging to his arm as she attempted to keep up with him - you felt kind of bad for her. kind of. "well would you look at that, all my favorite people at one table," gojo started, looking around at each and every one of your friends before his gaze landed on you, eyebrow raised. "i'm a little hurt you decided to wear your best outfit yet when you're out with kamo and not with me." he kept his voice light and easy, like he was teasing you and he didn't actually mean anything by it. before you could give it much thought though, you heard utahime snort in disbelief as she shook her head. "and who's fault is that, gojo? you're the one who made plans with someone else when you'd already agreed to go with y/n." you can feel heat rise to your cheeks, embarrassed and unwilling to look at rumi to see if she either looked like she felt bad or if she looked smug about it. you didn't really know her all that well.
"it's fine iori," you mutter, taking a long sip of your drink as choso stepped in. "gojo, if you're jealous you're not my date you can just say that." he gave him a shit eating grin, satoru returning the same grin as the two of them started bantering back and forth. it didn't take long until they were talking about hockey (how fucking typical) and you excused yourself to go to the bathroom. you hid in the stall longer than you meant to, texting choso a quick "thanks for changing the subject" before you were quickly distracted on instagram. you weren't sure how much time had passed before you heard a couple of other women step into the bathroom, loud and clearly uncaring if anyone heard them.
"i still can't believe you're here with the satoru gojo, rumi," one voice said excitedly. a pair of giggles followed, the two women standing in front of the mirror to fix their makeup. "it's not a big deal, he's clearly not looking for a relationship." a pause. "doesn't mean i can't have some fun tonight though. i'm dying to see if he's as big as the rumors claim." and the sudden image of gojo and rumi fucking filled your brain and you wanted to throw up. just because you didn't want to imagine your best friend having sex, not because the idea of him sleeping with another woman who wasn't you made you jealous. you tried to convince yourself of that, at any rate.
you waited a few minutes after the women had left to leave the bathroom yourself, both relieved and disappointed when you saw that satoru was no longer sitting at your table. you forced yourself to push all thoughts of him out of your mind, instead determined to focus on having a good time. which you did, of course. you had some of the best fucking friends a girl could ask for and even though choso had been invited to karaoke with your group he had declined, making all of you promise to text him when you were home safe. but if the thought of choso at karaoke with you made gojo jealous? you weren't in a rush to correct him that cho hadn't come along.
you also weren't in a rush for the sound of your alarm going off at six in the morning. you were tempted to ignore it and go back to sleep, but you knew satoru well and you knew if you didn't get up he'd barge in with the key he had in case you locked yourself out of your apartment and quite frankly, you weren't in the mood to deal with him yapping at you to get ready. so you got ready on your own, drank your coffee, and when he showed up exactly at 6:30, you were ready to head out the door immediately.
"well damn, not even going to invite me in?" he asked as you stepped outside as soon as he had knocked, locking the door behind you and huffing as you made your way to the elevator. "no, because i want to get this workout over with and if you go inside you'll get distracted and before i know it it's too late for us to get brunch and getting brunch at merry's is the only thing keeping me going today." you stepped inside the elevator, crossing your arms as you leaned against the back wall. "good morning, by the way," you said, tone a little less snippy than it had been ten seconds before.
"a good morning for you indeed, you get to get all hot and bothered with me today." he grinned down at you, standing so close as the elevator went down you swore you could feel his breath on you. rolling your eyes, you shook your head as you reached up to flick his nose gently. "you couldn't get me hot and bothered even if you tried," you shot back, falling so easily into the banter of your friendship. banter that was full of inside jokes and teasing, comments that were just enough to make you wonder if you two were flirting but not so overt that there wasn't plausible deniability. it was a dangerous line you two had been walking for years, neither crossing it nor backing away - no wonder you were always so confused.
"you know i love a good challenge, petal," he replied with a half-smirk, using the name he'd been using for you since you were in middle school. someone had asked you why you liked flowers so much and you had blurted out that "petals were so pretty" and gojo had found it so funny the way you had immediately flushed at your answer - he'd been calling you petal ever since.
"fuck off you creep," you muttered, tone playful without a hint of seriousness. you pushed past him as the elevator opened and you two made your way to his car, where you then spent the entire drive to the gym arguing over who had dibs on the music: the driver or the passenger. ultimately you won, laughing as he pretended to be grumpy about the music you chose but before long he himself was singing along to gleefully.
this wasn't the first time you had worked out with gojo. it wasn't something you made a habit of, mostly because he was a professional fucking hockey player and his workout regimen was much more intense than yours was. you spent most of the time each doing your own thing, sometimes exercising next to each other where you caught him grinning at you through the reflection in the mirror more than once, his gym tank top leaving the muscles of his arms proudly on display. you weren't sure what was more irritating: the fact that he was so fucking hot or the fact that he knew it and didn't shy away from it.
you were on your last exercise, barbell rows your actual enemy but something you did anyway. you were looking at yourself in the mirror next to you, eyes assessing your form as you bent over, trying to make sure you didn't accidentally hurt yourself from bad technique. without warning, you felt gojo right behind you, his body pressed close to your ass as his hands reached down to your hips. "almost perfect but adjust this a little," he muttered, adjusting your hips slightly before he moved a hand to your back. "aaand just a little more straight here... there we go." you were about to mutter a thanks and something about how nice it was that he was kind of helpful sometimes before you caught his eye in the mirror and you knew.
yes, he was helping you make sure your form was correct. but you could tell by the look in his eyes that he was trying to make you flustered - it didn't help that it also kind of looked like he had you bent over ready to get fucked. whether it was because he actually liked the idea of you getting hot and bothered over him or because he could be an immature asshole who loved to tease you, you weren't sure. all you knew for sure was two things: you could tell there was heat pooling between your legs leaving you suddenly feeling very needy, and you were not about to let him have this over you.
and so you pressed your ass back, ever so slightly grinding against his crotch that whether or not it had been on purpose could have been up for debate. by the look of his eyes suddenly going wide, you knew he had expected you to jerk away from him and tell him off, not give back what he'd been serving you. "thanks so much toru," you cooed, ass pressing back against him just a little more. he swallowed, forcing himself to take a step back as he tried to discreetly adjust his sweat pants. "s'no problem at all," he muttered before excusing himself to the locker room, telling you he just needed to sit in the sauna or something and to let him know when you were done.
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a/n: this feels more like a tease to me lmao, but next chapter will be picking up right where this leaves off!! but it will be a little angsty so pls prepare urselves.
taglist: open
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bweeeb · 15 days ago
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SWEETNESS
PEDRO PASCAL × READER
Summary: After an interview, the casua thing between you and Pedro ends up making the public suspect that he is not denying someone who is twenty-three years old.
warnings: nothing major, very cute, age difference but both are adults (obviously), bad writing maybe. Enjoy.
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— So, according to the recordings, I think we all saw how close you two have become. How has that been?
You and Pedro smiled at the woman, who seemed to be around 35, interviewing you both.
The curiosity in her eyes was obvious.
— I think it’s been time well spent.
Pedro said, laughing and glancing at you, who was already laughing even before speaking.
— I think our characters demanded a connection of...
— Hatred and anger.
Pedro interrupted you, and you laughed loudly.
— Yes. That’s why I’ve been spending the past few months figuring out which tool is best for channeling hatred towards someone.
— Our makeup team has been covering up all the damage we’ve been doing to each other.
Pedro added, and your extravagant laughter made him laugh as well. You two really were doing some damage to each other, but that was your little secret.
— You can clearly see you can’t stand being around each other.
— No, we can’t.
You said with a smile, waiting for the next questio
— And the movie tackles a delicate theme about relationships and age gaps. What made you both accept such controversial roles? Especially you, Pedro...I’m sure you’ve broken all the minds of 20-something girls with this film.
— He definitely has.
— I don’t know what it is with you all nowadays, thinking an old guy like me is attractive. The conversation shifted back to you and Pedro, and the interviewer smiled with amusement. The chemistry between you two was undeniable, even more than you realized.
— Because you’re a man, you give off the feeling of being a man but don’t have to prove it. You know what I mean? You understand me?
You asked the interviewer, who nodded, agreeing that it was indeed a big difference.
— Of course, I’m a man, but an old one.
— Shut up and answer the question.
You said, laughing, as Pedro gave you a mock-offended look in his usual dramatic way.
— Honestly, I wasn’t going to take the role. When I got the audition, I just said, "Nope." But a lot of people kept telling me I’d be the perfect Nick for the book adaptation, and I hate disappointing my fans.
— So you still wouldn’t date someone in their twenties? Maybe?
— No.
Pedro quickly denied it, and you wanted to roll your eyes but didn’t.
— And you, darling?
Nice deflection, you thought, almost laughing at him.
— Ahm, I gave it a lot of thought, especially about the nude scenes I was informed of before accepting the role. I didn’t want to freak out my family. But once I learned more about the characters, I discovered the adaptation was from a book I love, so I couldn’t say no.
— That’s amazing. I heard you even got a real piercing for one of the scenes in the movie. Are you wearing it now?
The question was directed at you, and you smiled painfully, moving your hair away to reveal the piercings you got during filming.
— I added thirds and a helix. Yep, these guys are fine. — You pointed at the piercings farthest from the cartilage. — But I’ll be honest, this one is hurting a lot right now. I was even going to ask if someone could help me after this because it didn’t hurt this much when I got it done.
You laughed, and both the interviewer and Pedro looked at you with concern. Pedro leaned closer, moving your hair from your neck.
— Oh, crap, darling, it’s swollen. You need to take care of this. — He said in such a calm voice that even if the interview ended right then, the audience would already be glued to the screen. — Do you want to stop?
— I’m fine, thank you.
Without even realizing it, you brushed your thumb against Pedro’s wrist, where his hand rested on your neck to examine you.
Later, the interview was posted, and you almost laughed at how fast the channel edited it. Your ear was still throbbing like it was being pierced again, and lying on the couch, you felt like crying—not because it hurt that much, but because you hated the feeling of discomfort in your body.
— Darling?
You heard Pedro call you and looked over the back of the couch to see him smiling at you.
— Now I’ve finally wrapped everything up. No calls. Ugh. — He flopped onto the couch, and noticing your silence, he looked at you oddly. — What’s wrong?
— Nothing.
You denied it, not wanting to worry him.
— Look at me and say that.
He raised an eyebrow and laughed, sitting cross-legged on the couch.
— Nothing.
— Come on, baby, your ear is hurting, isn’t it?
You murmured your agreement. He then places a hand on your neck and places a kiss on your lips, you move closer, deepening the kiss until he pulls you into his chest, on the side that didn’t hurt.
— I’m sorry about this.
— It’s not your fault.
— No, but you seem exhausted by the pain, and I’m sorry for that.
— Thank you. Have you seen what everyone’s saying?
— I haven’t.
— You’re a terrible liar. They’re calling you a liar. You laughed, feeling comforted in his embrace.
— Me? A liar? Yo nunca mentiría.
— You’re a liar and ridiculously hot when you speak Spanish. “Oh, I’d never date anyone in their twenties,” and two seconds later, “And you, darling?”
— What’s wrong with that?
— Friends don’t call friends “darling.” Like, we’re friends who hook up, but you get my point.
You thought for a second and worried you’d sounded over the top in the classification you seemed to be giving you two.
— You’ve been the most argumentative exception I’ve ever made.
He said, and you nodded in agreement.
— I hope I am. I’d hate to find out another young woman took my spot as a legend.
— Legend for what?
— For being the youngest person in the world to hook up with the ridiculously hot Pedro Pascal. You said, and he laughed loudly. You didn’t know how far this would go, but you intended to enjoy the sweetness of that man for as long as it lasted
÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷
I hope everybody enjoy this.
Requests are opened!
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girlgenius1111 · 9 months ago
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promises
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part 2 to behave. sol makes some questionable decisions. mapi comes to her rescue. ingrid comes home. ft. someone special.
Your arm was broken, and you hadn’t gotten drunk in months. Of course, the two main reasons you had for sneaking out could definitely be construed as two reasons not to sneak out as well. But Ingrid was out of town only until the following afternoon, and Mapi slept like the dead. It was a perfect opportunity, the only opportunity you’d have for many more weeks to come. And besides, you were 18. You weren’t breaking any laws. 
You’d been invited to a party, too, which wasn’t an opportunity you wanted to waste. You hadn’t assimilated to school very well. It was a nightmarish hell, honestly, but in the past few weeks you’d made a few casual acquaintances. They weren’t in any of your classes, and you didn't know them very well, but it was a good start.  
You slipped out the front door at around 1, promising Scout you’d be back soon, and began the few blocks’ walk to where the party was. You were excited. 
------
You didn’t like this. It was unclear what was so unsettling, maybe it was the fact that everything had changed so dramatically since the last time you’d been drunk. Maybe it was because, now, you cared very much about disappointing the people in charge of you. There was also the tiny detail that you’d had way too much. Your tolerance had evidently gone down in the past several months, but you hadn’t really thought about that until it was too late. 
Either way, you just really weren’t feeling the party. It reminded you too much of being back in Norway. How you felt then… you hadn’t really realized how bad it was until you were out of there, and doing much better. The taste of tequila on your tongue was a very visceral reminder of that time. 
It tasted like loneliness. It tasted like you hated everyone, yourself most of all. It tasted like you didn’t care much whether you got home safely, or got home at all. Like you were completely meaningless, and you always would be. You were scared, honestly, just wanted to go home. You headed out the back slider, leaving behind the noise of the party, and fell into one of the patio chairs. You couldn’t walk straight, your mind was completely cloudy, and you were having a hard time stringing any coherent thoughts together. You wanted to go home, but there was no way for you to get there; you definitely couldn’t walk. And even as drunk as you were, you knew ubering home in the middle of the night, by yourself, completely wasted, was a horrible idea. 
You were considering your options when your phone ringing interrupted your thoughts. Mapi was calling you. Fuck. You had no choice but the answer. She had your location. The only way you would have gotten away with this in the first place would have been if she hadn’t woken up. Now, though. You were completely screwed. You did your best to sound as sober as possible when you answered the phone.
“Hi Mapi.” You said cautiously. 
“Nena. Are you coming home soon?” Mapi asked calmly. 
“W-what?” You slurred back, blinking hard in an attempt to clear your mind. 
“You snuck out a couple of hours ago, and now it is almost 3am. So. Are you coming home soon, or should I come get you?”
“You knew I snuck out?” You asked dumbly. 
“Yes, nena. Now, where are you? Are you drunk?” 
“No.” 
You could feel Mapi roll her eyes. “Liar. I am coming to get you.”
The wind picked up a bit, and you shivered, suddenly feeling very cold, and very alone out in the dark. “Mapi?”
“Sí?” 
“Can you stay on the phone?”
And just like that, Mapi’s tone switched from annoyed and slightly amused, to full of concern. “Sí, I’m right here. What is going on? Are you safe? Are you with anyone?” 
You looked back through the sliding door, the party still in full swing. You weren’t alone, really, but you weren’t… with anyone. And for some reason, maybe because you were having memory after memory of feeling very similarly in Norway, you didn’t feel quite safe. 
“There’s a party inside. I’m outside. By myself. Can you come fast? I don’t feel good.” 
“I’m on my way, mi sol.” Mapi promised, and you knew without her saying it that she would go as fast as she could. 
------
She should have stepped in sooner. She should have stopped you the minute you’d snuck out the front door, or at the very least, followed you to where you went. 
She’d been awake, scrolling on her phone. Sleeping was always a bit more difficult without Ingrid there with her, so though it was later than usual for her to be up, it wasn’t completely unheard of. You were quiet as you left, but Mapi had accidentally picked up your phone earlier in the evening, and seen a text containing an address in it. The Spaniard was young once, too, and she knew pretty much instantly what was going on. She half hoped that you’d just ask about going, but as she was reminded often, your parents had done their damage. You’d snuck out instead. 
The thing was, Mapi honestly didn’t care very much that you wanted to go out. It was slightly worrying that you’d felt the need to sneak out, but she understood. The rules were different now than when you’d been in Norway, and it was clear to her that you were still getting used to that. 
You didn’t sound good on the phone, though, and she couldn’t help the worry that filled her as she sped towards the house your location was displaying. It wasn’t just that you were hammered. You sounded… far away. You sounded like the Sol she met when you first arrived. Cold, terrified, closed off, and desperately sad. Mapi didn’t like hearing you like that, and now she really wished that she would have stopped you from leaving the house earlier. 
There hadn’t been a peep over the phone for a few minutes as Mapi neared the house. “Hey, nena? You with me?” 
“Mm hmm.” You hummed, your attention fixed on the sky above you. It was funny, how all the stars could be the same in Barcelona as they were in Norway, yet everything else could be so drastically different. 
“I’m in front. Can you walk out to me, or should I come back and get you?” She was thrilled that you’d made friends enough to go to a party, and she didn’t want to embarrass you if she didn’t have to. 
“‘Can walk,” You mumbled, standing up from the chair, taking a step forward, and promptly falling face first to the ground. Mapi heard the racket, and was out of her car and running to you before you could get a word out. “Mapi, I fell,” you whined over the phone, completely oblivious to the fact that the Spaniard was sprinting in your direction. 
“Idiota.” Mapi mumbled, arriving at your side and bending down to inspect your face. 
“Mapiiiiii,” you sang, eyes halfway closed as you grinned up at the other girl.
“Ay dios mio.” Mapi sighed. You were worse off than she’d thought. “Did you hit your head when you fell?” 
“No, but I hurt my knee, look,” you said sadly, pointing down to a very small scrape. 
“Alright, let’s get you home and I’ll take care-”
“Excuse me, who are you?” A girl asked, stepping out onto the patio, looking between you and Mapi. “Sol, do you know that girl?” 
“I am her… Mapi.” Mapi said, internally rolling her eyes at herself. 
“She’s my Mapi!” You said enthusiastically, somehow hopping to your feet with a bit of agility, and leaning heavily against your sister's girlfriend. “She’s my sister Ingrid’s Mapi, her name is girlfriend.” You slurred. 
The girl just blinked, looking confused. “I am her sister’s girlfriend, María. She called me. I’m going to take her home now.” 
The girl’s expression cleared. “Oh, got it. Thanks for coming, Sol, see you monday.” 
“Byeeeeeeeee.”
“Have a good night.” Mapi said kindly. She appreciated that the girl hadn’t let some stranger abduct you from her patio. She began the arduous journey of practically carrying you back to the car. Once you were in the front seat, she turned the light on above you tilted your face towards her. 
“Nena, open your eyes.” She instructed. You did, opening your eyes ridiculously wide, until they began watering. She just wanted to make sure you hadn’t been drugged or anything, given how out of it you were. Your pupils looked normal, and she decided you had just had way too much to drink.“Okay, you can let your eyes be normal now.” 
They fell back into the half lidded state they were in before, and you sagged into the seat. Mapi bit back a smile. Now that you were safe, she was slightly amused at Drunk Sol. You were funny. 
She’d noticed something though, and as she buckled your seatbelt around you, she asked a question she knew you’d probably avoid answering if you’d been sober. 
“Nena, do the kids at school call you Sol?” 
Mapi had been under the impression that you went by your real name at school, as much as you hated it. Ingrid and Mapi almost exclusively called you Solstråle or Sol, now, just out of habit, but she hadn’t realized you’d made the change at school, too. 
“Yup.” You said, head turned towards her, though your eyes remained shut. 
“Why?” She wondered. She was just curious, honestly. Not only had she not known that you’d had friends at school, you hadn’t mentioned talking to anyone enough to come out of your shell, and tell them something different to call you. 
“I like it better.” 
“Oh.” Mapi said. 
“I like Sol. It’s pretty. And you picked it.” You attempted to poke Mapi’s nose, missed, and hit her cheek, though you continued on like nothing had happened. “And my mom never called me that. It’s a happy name.” 
Mapi blinked at you, before she cleared her throat. “Well, I’m glad you like it.” She said softly, before she shut your car door, and walked around to her side. And if she wiped a few tears away as she did so, that was no one’s business. 
-------
“That STINGS!” You shouted, sitting up out of what Mapi thought was a light sleep, yanking your leg away from her. She’d been trying to disinfect your knee, taking advantage of the fact that you’d collapsed onto the sofa the minute you made it into the house. 
“Sorry, Sol, I’m just cleaning it.” Mapi said, stifling a laugh at the absolutely betrayed look on your face. 
“You SCRAPED MY KNEE!” You insisted, a huge frown on your face. 
“Sol, you scraped your knee, when you fell down earlier. Now let me put a bandaid on.” 
“I didn’t fall, you fell.” You grumbled, though you extended your leg back out to her. “Mapi?” 
“Hmm?”
“Why is my arm wearing a blue condom?” You asked, dead serious, holding up your cast and inspecting it thoughtfully. Mapi bit her lip, trying in vain not to laugh at you, knowing you wouldn’t appreciate it in this state. 
“It’s not a condom, Sol, it’s a cast. You broke your arm.” 
“Oh.” You sat for a moment, watching as Mapi very carefully ensured the bandaid was correctly placed on your knee. “Are there condoms for lesbians?”
God save her. Mapi looked up at you, trying to tell if you were being serious. Your face was completely blank. No. No. She wasn’t doing this now. She was quite sure you’d had sex education, and even if you hadn’t, she’d make Ingrid do it when you were sober. “We can talk about condoms tomorrow. You’re going to bed now.” 
“If there are lesbian condoms, I’m in trouble, because I’ve never used one and I’m a lesbian.” You continued, before sitting up with a gasp. “Oh GOD. Am I pregnant?” 
Now, Mapi really wished she had stopped you from sneaking out. She wished she’d locked you in your room for the night, honestly. 
“Sol, you are not pregnant. Lesbians can’t get each other pregnant.” She explained, lifting you off the couch and into her arms. You were silent as she walked up the stairs, you curled up against her, until you sniffled quietly. She looked down, seeing tears in your eyes, and hurriedly placed you on your bed. “Hey, what’s wrong?” She asked gently, wiping away a stray tear. 
“That’s so sad.” You cried. 
“What is?” Mapi asked, bewildered. 
“That lesbians can’t get each other pregnant. It’s not fair.” 
“Sol, did you not know lesbians couldn’t get each other pregnant?” The Spaniard asked exasperatedly, really starting to doubt the sex education program at your school. 
“No. I just didn’t think about it until now and it’s so sad.” You mumbled, flopping back onto your bed. “‘Cause lesbians are the best.” 
Mapi flopped down onto the bed next to you, rolling her eyes when Scout picked his head up to glare at her. Of course. Now the dog woke up. “It is sad.” She agreed, thinking it was the easiest way to end the conversation. You didn’t respond, though and she looked over to find you already asleep. 
Thank god.
-------
When you wandered down the stairs at 10 the next morning, Mapi was glad to see that you looked relatively… fine. Not hungover at all, which was absurd considering the state you’d been in the night before. 
“Good morning, Solstråle.” She said, smirking when you looked at her with a furrowed brow. 
“Morning.” You mumbled back, throwing yourself dramatically onto the couch.
“How are you feeling?” 
“Just tired.” 
“You aren’t hungover?” 
“I don’t really get hungover.” You said absentmindedly, scrolling on your phone, only looking up when Mapi didn’t say anything. “What?” 
She looked surprised and kind of annoyed. “You don’t get hungover?” 
“Nope!” You said cheerfully. “Probably a young person thing.” Turning back to your phone, you jumped when a pillow thwacked you in the face. 
“I am young.” Mapi grumbled. You just laughed. “You will not be laughing when Ingrid finds out you snuck out to get drunk.” 
You sat bolt upright, staring at her with your jaw dropped. “You’re going to tell on me?” 
And though she’d said it mostly as a joke, she’d been serious, and she was surprised you hadn’t known that. She told Ingrid everything. She couldn’t keep this from her. “Sol, you had to have known I’d tell her.” 
“You knew I left and you didn’t say anything! This is your fault!”
“My fault?” Mapi laughed. “I wasn’t going to tell her if you snuck back in, but you were so drunk I had to come get you. So. I’m telling Ingrid.”
You studied her for a minute. “I don’t think you will.” 
“Oh you don’t? And why not?” Mapi said, grinning. 
“Because if you tell Ingrid, I am sure Alexia would love to know that you gave her hermanita a tattoo behind her back.” 
The smile fell from Mapi’s face as she stared at you in horror. “You wouldn’t.” 
You smirked. “I would.” 
“Sol, you promised you would not tell. This is not just about me, this is about Fresa too, and you cannot…”
You began to tune Mapi out at the name. Fresa. The day you’d met her had been… a rough one. You’d argued with Ingrid about Camila, and she’d left the house before you could make up. Camila had been together a week, and Ingrid was far from happy. You were left stressed in your room, worried that Ingrid was going to return and take back every nice thing she’d said over the past week or so. It had been a bad day, yes but you still remembered meeting Alexia’s little sister, very clearly. 
-------
A soft knock on your door had you looking up from the school work you were struggling over. 
“Come in.” 
Mapi popped her head in the door. “Can we talk for a sec?” 
You stiffened, though your face was completely blank. “Okay. Did I do something wrong?” You asked quietly. You were always more withdrawn after an argument with your sister. Mapi didn’t say anything about the fact that your cheeks were tearstained, or how you regarded her a bit frightfully. You did so many things frightfully, even now, even still. 
“No, no, not at all. I just have a favor to ask you.” You nodded for her to continue. “Alexia’s younger sister is coming over today for a tattoo, while Ingrid is gone. And I really, really need you not to tell Ingrid about it. Or Alexia. Or anyone.” 
You were a bit stunned by the fact that Mapi would trust you with a secret like this. No one had trusted you with… anything in a really long time. Things were different, you reminded yourself. “Okay .I won't tell.” 
Mapi looked at you for a minute, maybe surprised at how easily you’d agreed. “I don’t mean to make you keep secrets from Ingrid, it’s just that-”
“It’s fine, Mapi. Ingrid won’t think to ask me about it, so it’s not really lying anyway.”
Mapi was  aware that she was probably crossing a boundary by asking you not to tell Ingrid about this, but Fresa was practically an adult, had a good head on her shoulders, and honestly, she needed someone to show her some love. Mapi knew she wasn’t doing something bad, which is how she justified asking you to keep the secret. Fresa needed her sisters, but they weren’t paying attention, and she was tired of trying to get it. So, if Fresa wanted a tattoo from Mapi, then she’d get one. And honestly? Mapi didn’t feel bad about keeping it a secret from Alexia. She was pretty frustrated with the midfielder at the moment, but she could only fix the relationship between sisters one at a time. 
“Okay. Thanks, kid.” She said, giving you a small smile. You smiled back at her, just a bit, but it was more than Mapi normally got, so she took it. 
------
When Mapi had said Alexia’s sister was coming over today when Ingrid was shopping, you’d been much too focused on Mapi trusting you to really process what she’d said. Though it all came rushing back to you when you wandered down the stairs, responding to a text from Camila. She had just invited herself to the next home match and told you she didn’t want to sit with Mapi. You were trying to figure out what to say, because honestly, you liked sitting with Mapi at Ingrid’s games, even if she talked a lot; it was endearing. You had just decided to agree to Camila’s request when Mapi caught your attention. 
“Oh, Solstråle,” Mapi said excitedly. You looked up at her in surprise, your eyes flicking over to the other girl in your house. She was looking at you with a smile on her face, as if she’d just been joking around with Mapi. She had that Putellas aura, one that completely projected confidence. It intimidated you, and you faltered, unsure what to do, or say to this mysterious, beautiful girl. You didn’t want to lounge in the living room anymore, waiting for Ingrid to get home so you could apologize and see if she was still mad. You wanted to go back to your room where it was safe and there were no strangers. “This is Ingrid’s hermana, Solstråle,” Mapi introduced, giving you an encouraging smile. 
You took a minute step backwards, slightly panicked. You forgot you had social anxiety, sometimes, especially when you went so long without meeting new people, and being expected to talk to anyone other than Ingrid and Mapi. The pretty girl smiled, and your brain fell empty for a second. 
If she was beautiful before she smiled she was… otherworldly when she did. She was warm and happy and so… light. She was overflowing with love, and you could tell from just a few seconds of being in her presence. 
“Solstråle, this is Alexia’s sister, Fresa.” Mapi continued, pretending that you weren’t acting like a complete weirdo. You still couldn’t talk, your mouth suddenly very dry, and Mapi sighed a bit. That sent you reeling because normally, Mapi was so careful not to ever let you think she was disappointed in something you did. 
She really just wanted you both to be friends, and felt like she was blowing the introduction, but you felt like you needed to get out of there before you made even more of a fool of yourself. 
“You can say hi Sol she does not bite! Actually you-” 
You interrupted Mapi, hastily greeting Fresa in what was probably very poor, and very quiet spanish. Then, you made it even worse, somehow, by turning on your heel and making a break for it. Back to your room where it was safe. 
Mapi apologized later for putting you on the spot with a new person, and you’d apologized for acting like you’d never spoken to another human being in your life before. Mapi casually asked if you wanted her to get Fresa’s number from Alexia, so you both could be friends, but you’d declined. 
You didn’t need friends. Definitely not pretty friends that made you nervous, especially when there was absolutely, positively no way she’d like you back. Or even that she liked girls. What were the odds all three Putellas sister’s were lesbians? It seemed unlikely to you, and you tried to push Fresa out of your head as the weeks passed. You focused on Camila, and then you focused on anything but Camila. Fresa always… stayed in the background, though. Always a thought. Always there. 
-------
You blushed at the memory, at how insanely shy and awkward you’d been. You honestly weren’t really looking to share that story with anyone, let alone Alexia, who was one of the coolest people you'd ever encountered. 
“Alright, I won’t tell anyone. I did promise.” You stated, before you grew serious. “But please don’t tell Ingrid, Mapi. It is never ever going to happen again, I felt so weird yesterday, it wasn’t fun at all. It was a one time thing.”
“What, you are never going to drink again?” Mapi asked, distracted and now slightly concerned. 
You decided to be honest, because vulnerability couldn’t be worse than Ingrid yelling at you. It would come close. But it wouldn't be worse. “No, I just…I realized I don’t need to do that anymore, blackout every weekend. When I used to do it before, in Norway, I was trying to forget. I was running away from my problems. I don’t need to do that anymore, I don’t want to.” 
“Oh.” Mapi said carefully, recognizing the weight of what you’d just admitted to her. “Okay. Fine. I won’t tell Ingrid. If you promise to stop taking pictures of me sleeping next to Scout, because they are not representative of our relationship. We do not like each other. We just happen to fall asleep in the same spot sometimes.”
You threw your head back and laughed. “Sure, Mapi. If that’s what you want.”
------
Ingrid hated ubering home from the airport. It took forever, the drivers were never very good, and she much preferred her girlfriend to come to the airport and greet her with a warm hug. However, Ingrid couldn’t miss the opportunity to surprise you both upon her arrival home. It had been a tough couple days for you, she knew. You were an emotional mess after the hospital, though you pretended not to be, and you hated not being able to do your normal activities. So, when Ingrid realized she could catch a flight in the morning as opposed to the afternoon, she jumped at it. She missed her girls, and seeing you both sooner was worth the hassle. 
You and Mapi had ensured the house was spotless. Early on in the break, you’d suggested making slime. Mapi had agreed, and it went about as well as could be expected. The dining room floor was now bare, the rug that normally lived there was nowhere to be found. Other than that, though, the house was clean, and Scout had gotten a bath, courtesy of Mapi due to the cast on your arm. That went about as could be expected, too. 
After cleaning, you’d slumped onto the couch grumpily. Mapi knew you were bummed about your hand. You were such an active person, always moving around, always doing something outside. Now, though, you needed to rest your very broken arm, which meant that you were stuck inside with Mapi. You were grouchy and short tempered, but the Spaniard was doing her best to keep you occupied. 
Both of you were too wrapped up in the intense round of mario kart you were playing to notice the car pull into the drive, or hear your sister approach with her suitcase. You could only play with one hand and the thumb of your broken hand, so Mapi promised to only do the same. As soon as you began to beat her, though, she began to cheat, sneakily using both her hands on the controller, much to your frustration. 
Ingrid felt a pang of worry flash through her when she heard a raised voice as she unlocked the front door. She knew what your mood had been like, and she was worried you were arguing with Mapi. You’d never yelled at her girlfriend before, but you’d definitely yelled at Ingrid. 
“I swear to god María, I am going to throw this at your head,” you shouted. 
Ingrid fumbled with her keys in her haste to get the door open. 
“I am not cheating!” Mapi defended. “You are seeing things, pequeña, I thought it was your arm that was b-”
Her voice cut off as Ingrid swung the door open, a small smile on her face as she’d realized what the argument was about. 
“Ingrid?” You and Mapi said, completely in unison. Scout hopped off the couch, trotting over to his second favorite person, eagerly sniffing at her legs. Ingrid petted him, her attention still on the two of you, frozen on the couch. The rainbow road music still played in the background, and it was truly a comical sight. You had been attempting to kick Mapi’s controller out of her hands, and she was trying to cover your eyes. 
“Ingrid!” Mapi said again, launching off the couch to almost tackle her girlfriend in a hug. 
“Hi my love,” Ingrid murmured, hugging Mapi back rather tightly. 
“I’m so glad you’re home.” Mapi whispered. “She’s scary when she’s grumpy.” 
“I heard that.” You said, frowning at the Spaniard. Ingrid was surprised when you yanked on the back of Mapi’s shirt, pulling her away from your sister, and took her place. The hug you gave your sister was fierce and if Ingrid had been wondering if you’d missed her, she no longer did. 
“Hi sweetheart,” she said, squeezing you tight. 
“Hi.” You mumbled. “Missed you.” 
“I missed you too, Solstråle.” Ingrid said with a smile, taking your cast into her hands as she pulled back. 
“How is your hand? How are you? Are you doing okay?” She asked worriedly, and you nodded, though you really appreciated how much she cared. 
“It’s fine, really. Mapi was… Mapi was really helpful. Couldn’t have done it without her.” You glanced at her, before turning back to your sister, changing the subject. “Blank canvas for you to sign.” You grinned. Ingrid returned that smile and dragged you into the kitchen without further ado. She completely disregarded her duffel bag by the door, and left her backpack on as if she couldn’t be bothered with it before she signed your cast. 
“Can I sign when you’re done?” Mapi asked eagerly. 
“When I’m done, yes,” Ingrid sighed, though she was endlessly entertained by her girlfriend’s impatience. Mapi was like you in that sense. 
Ingrid found a sharpie in the drawer, carefully grabbing your cast in her hands, instructing you to close your eyes. 
‘du er favorittpersonen min selv når du faller love, ingrid’
When she was done, she told you to open your eyes, and you did so eagerly, looking down at what she’d written. You weren’t expecting tears to flood your vision, but they did. ‘You’re my favorite person, even when you fall.’ It felt like it had more than one meaning. Ingrid would always love you. Regardless of your mistakes. 
You smiled at her through your tears, throwing your arms around her again in a tight hug. She caught you easily, enjoying the moment. 
“Ahem. MY TURN.” Mapi said impatiently, causing both you and Ingrid to break into laughter. You let Mapi sign, then, even though she wrote so big it took up half the cast. Ingrid just watched, enjoying the sight of her little family. It was very perfect. 
-----
:)
send! your! sol! thoughts! and let me know what you thought of this one 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
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