#but for now it'll go into the vault

[ink--theory]

misc. doodles

[recovering-vamp]

lil kinda progress screenshot dump of the witchy themed piccrew i am slowly picking away at. I think it shows that I didn't really understand how to do hairstyles as separate pieces (e.g. fringe, middle, back, etc) but I'm getting there, still need to properly add fringes and anything that comes down over the shoulder but I'm hoping it'll work out :)

[foone]

There exist another dimension called The Empty World. It's very much like ours, in fact it seems to have been identical up until a few weeks ago, but it always seems that way. If you go there today, it was identical in late february, and if you go there this october, it'll have been identical until september.

It's empty, as you might guess. There's no humans, and no animals bigger than a cockroach. The sky is grey, and it slowly rains ash. It's colder than our world by a bit, enough to require a jacket even in summer. The streets are empty, the cars parked neatly in their garages or in lots, but they're all empty and abandoned, their doors locked like they expect their owners to return any minute now.

The newspapers left on stands don't mention any oncoming disaster. We have no idea what the TV or internet would have said: the power is out. The power is very, very out. Not just the grid, but batteries are drained. The cars won't start, the emergency lights are out, and anything with solar panels seems to be getting less energy than you'd expect, even with the perpetually overcast sky.

It's a very silent world, like the calm after a snowstorm. Sounds don't seem to echo as much as they should, nor does sound seem to travel as far. The radio spectrum is empty except for static, there's no one transmitting on any frequency.

There's fewer fires than you'd expect. Even places you'd expect to soon catch fire without human intervention are still standing, undamaged. Campfires can be lit but with difficulty: something is keeping them from burning as they should. Even if you pour kerosene on a campfire it'll barely grow, it's like something sucked the energy out of everything.

All the locked buildings are still locked. Alarms don't sound if you break in (understandable, given the power situation), and of course no one comes to investigate. So The Empty World is your oyster: you can break in wherever you want (provided you can physically do it: some doors are pretty hard to pry open even with tools), take whatever you want, and bring it back here.

Everything resets when you leave. You always enter The Empty World like it's your first time there, like this just happened and you're late to the party... but the party keeps getting rescheduled. You can even take something multiple times if you want.

When you enter The Empty World you get there at the same relative position as you are on this world. If you're in New York, you show up in the empty New York. If you're in Topeka, you show up in empty Topeka. So you have to travel around this world to get to where you want, and you can't just appear in the middle of a bank vault... unless you break into the vault from this world. (So it's great if you work at a bank and want to steal from your employer without repercussions, but not so useful otherwise).

You don't just have to take things, you know. You can take computers and files and books and diaries. You will have to deal with recharging laptops and breaking through any security when you get back, but it's doable.

So, imagine you've just gotten access to The Empty World. What are you going to do with it? What will you take, and where will you go?

[pumpkinbxtch]

hello, a request please, from apollo x readerposeidon, how does apollo react if hermes tries to flirt with his girlfriend reader (hermes just wants to bother his older brother)

• this is a message for THAT nereid!

— apollo x daughter of poseidon!reader

warnings: none

a/n: Hi baby. here's your apollo crew being jealous there's nothing more like him than that.

✷

Apollo started biting his nails as soon as he heard your laughter echoing in his dining room, which he found stupid because it was HIS dining room and you were laughing with another guy right in his face. Well, it was not just another guy, it was his brother, which made it a million times worse.

His visits used to be enjoyable, now not so much.

— So, ¿what do you say? — Hermes asked, winking at you, and Apollo wondered about the sudden need to make his life miserable by looking you in that way.

Your lips painted another smile as you playfully shook your head, glancing sideways at your boyfriend, who was struggling not to throw the vase at his brother's face. Honestly, it amused you. “This is for all the times you let that Nereid flirt with you in front of me,” you thought, it was your perfect revenge, and with his brother willing to play along, they were hitting the nail on the head.

— Hmm. What do you say, darling? We can stay in that house for the summer. It's close to the water, and I think it would help me train while waiting for the swimming tryouts.

Apollo forced a smile and nodded silently, if he spoke, he'd surely yell. Hermes played with the crystal glass and leaned slightly towards you.

— Even if my brother can't be with you all the time, you can go on your own — he said, looking at his brother, pretending to be kind, and Apollo felt his blood boil. — I'll keep an eye on her for you, brother.

Apollo scoffed — I don't want you keeping any eye on my girlfriend, thanks.

The double entendre floated between you, and you pressed your lips together, trying not to smile.

Hermes ran his hand through his black curls while making loops with his hand, trying to find words to elaborate. That was exasperating, Apollo thought he was just trying to look dashing. For his misfortune, his brother kept talking.

— I think it'll be fine, she needs it for her training, after all, right? — He turned to you with the blue eyes that every son of Zeus seemed to possess. — Although, they should fear you from now on, doll.

Apollo choked at that word and drew both of your attention.

— Is everything alright, Apollo? — Hermes smiled maliciously, and the sun god remembered the stupid rule that whoever gets angry first loses.

— Nothing — Apollo replied, snapping his fingers to start the music. maybe breaking that stupid tension.

When “The Girl Is Mine” by Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney started, you were close to crack up. You couldn’t believe him.

— I love this song, little bro — Hermes hummed while drumming his fingers on the glass table, passing over the message on purpose.

“'Little bro'? I'm the older one,” Apollo thought, annoyed. He couldn't wait to kick that idiot out of his mansion.

The part with the ex-beatle began, and the messenger of the gods leaned closer and starting to sing to you.

— I love you more than he… — Hermes winked at you.

— Okay, enough — Apollo exclaimed, standing up and covering his brother's mouth with his hand. He kept singing even as his voice died in your boyfriend's palms.

 Apollo growled and shot you a furious look before disappearing with him in a golden dust.

As you were left alone in the dining room, you burst into laughter and took a sip of water, impressed by your brother-in-law's performance.

Footsteps echoed in the hallway, and you masked your smile with a serious expression.

 Apollo dusted off his hands and sat back down, his eyes fixed in the center of the table. You cleared your throat and casually propped one leg up on the chair, playing with your hair as you listened to him rant.

— And tell me, my love —your voice echoed through the palace vaults, — how does it feel? — In the midst of those emotions that had him on the edge of a psychotic episode, that question caught him off guard. You raised your eyebrows sanctimoniously and smiled smugly.

Oh.

— You! — He pointed at you accusingly, and you ran off giggling.

As he tried to catch up with you, he heard the echoes of the palace bringing the reason you played along with his brother's stupid game: “Tell that damn Nereid to screw off, you're mine!” And the brake on his heels, now fearing you'd walk back to him.

Okay, you won. Definitely, Apollo wouldn't even talk to a rock if it kept you from flirting with his brother again.

✷⁠

[jjkamochoso]

Hii! Could I request a Feitan x Female Reader who's part of the Phantom Troupe, and a something on a mission goes wrong and the Reader ends up getting injured. She's fine and used to it, being part of the Phantom Troupe, but Feitan just isn't having it and scolds her to be more careful in the future. That is, after he does the unthinkable to the source of your inconvenience!

Thank you so much for your request!!! I love writing Feitan and I hope you love what I came up with in this story :) <3

Phantom Pain

Fluff

Feitan Portor x f!reader

Warnings: graphic violence: blood, torture, death

The mission started off so ridiculously easy that you were almost yawning, the heist going exactly as planned. Feitan and Shalnark were busy shoving money and jewels into big duffel bags while you and Phinks were on watch outside the vault. The estate you were raiding was quiet, not uncommonly so since you waited to break in when the owner was out of town with most of the bodyguards, but just enough to where you wondered if the security team was really that dumb to leave a vault full of valuables so readily accessible. With arms crossed and annoyance written all over your features, you hoped the treasure the boys were bagging was worth it.

"Ugh, I'm beyond bored," you groaned, trying to ignore the persistent feeling of wanting to yank your hair out in frustration. "Are they almost done in there?"

"No clue. By the sounds of it, I'd say they're close to finishing." Phinks leaned his head back against the wall, looking like he could fall asleep at any moment.

"Good. I'm all for simple jobs and quick money but this one is almost too simple. I can't believe no one's shown up yet. Some security system they have."

Phinks opened one eye. "Look, I'm always in the mood for a fight but can't you just enjoy this? Besides, I'd rather fight no one at all than a bunch of weaklings."

"Mmm, I'm 50/50 on that one. Maybe if I had a weakling or two to fight right now I'd have more of an opinion."

All of a sudden, there was a loud pounding noise coming from the doors in front of you.

"Open up! This is security, we've come to detain you!"

You saw the doors rattle as the people on the other side began to break them down. Sure, they were locked, but you hadn't bothered to barricade them with anything since you figured it wasn't necessary. The estate's leftover guards came rushing in, brandishing guns.

If looks could kill, you'd be dead ten times over.

"Now you've done it, y/n," Phinks said, rolling his eyes, "the place is swarmed. This enough action for ya?"

"Hmm... no. But it'll do." You had a mischievous twinkle in your eye. "Wanna have a contest to see who gets the higher kill count?"

When Feitan heard your voice from outside the vault, he couldn't help the grin that appeared under his cowl. You were reckless, dangerous, bloodthirsty--all qualities he liked in a person.

"We finish this quick. I don't want to miss the show outside."

"You just want to watch y/n in action, don't you?" teased Shalnark.

"Shut up," Feitan growled, grateful for the face covering that was hiding his blush. When the last of the bags were filled, the two men exited the vault, eager to join the fight waged between the estate security team and their fellow Phantom Troupe members. However, Feitan's attention was caught by a short yelp from across the room. It was completely imperceptible to everyone else over the constant sound of gunfire, but he heard it loud and clear. His narrow eyes darted your direction where he spied you gritting your teeth as you continued throwing punches. Were you in pain? No, there was no way you could've gotten hurt here. These guys were anything but formidable foe, almost all already dead from the seasoned Nen users.

You were bleeding.

As he took men down left and right, his razor sharp fingernails cutting into flesh with ease, he saw your injured arm dripping blood onto the floor. How did you let that happen? How did he let that happen? It didn't matter at this point; he just knew he was pissed and someone was going to pay for leaving a mark on his most prized possession.

The gunfire had seized and all was quiet except for the pleading whimpers of the security team members that were unlucky enough to still be alive. You were about to make a snarky remark when you saw Feitan practically fly to your side, his cold gaze looking between your injury and the three men cowering in front of you.

"Which one hurt you?"

You were used to seeing Feitan angry but never in your life had you seen such rage and hatred present in his eyes. He always had a menacing air about him but that description would be an understatement as to what you were witnessing right now. Even Phinks looked concerned about the state his close friend was in and he had seen him do countless unthinkable things to others over the years.

"P-please, i-it wasn't me! I didn't-"

In a flash Feitan had the sputtering man's tongue in his iron grip, ready to rip it out. "Trash like you no speak around her."

You almost felt bad for these guys. You knew Feitan was protective of his friends, you and him being particularly close, and anyone who hurt those people he cared for found themselves at the mercy of the most merciless man.

You pointed your finger at a guy to his right. "It was that dude."

Blood soaked the floor as two of the men's lifeless bodies fell. The third one, the cause of your pain, was on the verge of passing out from fear. For his own sake, you wished he had because what Feitan was about to put him through before death was NOT going to be pleasant. For him, at least. Feitan was going to have a wonderful time torturing the man.

"You?" Feitan leaned down, grabbing the man's chin as his fingers became soaked with the stranger's tears. His voice became eerily cheery as he addressed his next victim. "Don't cry, we have fun together. I show you what it's really like to inflict pain."

Feitan pulled down his cowl to reveal a sadistic smile and you felt chills throughout your entire body. You always thought Feitan to be handsome but seeing him in this state of bloodlust, for you no less, made your heart go into overdrive.

"Wow, this guy's in for a world of hurt! Feitan, you don't mind if we watch, right?" Shalnark called out, a big smile plastered on his face.

"Don't care," Feitan replied. "Y/n, pick a side. Left or right?"

"Hmm, left."

There was a sickening crunch followed by a loud screech of distress. Feitan had broken the man's left leg, rendering him immobile. The expert torturer then went to work: first came the extraction of fingernails; starting with the left hand, of course. Unlike most of his other torture sessions, he wasn't wasting any time causing this man pain. He was in a frenzied state, eager to make what was left of the man's life as horrible as possible. You watched as Feitan continued his precise work, screams filling your ears as a strong metallic smell seeped into your nostrils. By the time the man's heart stopped, his body was a mangled mess. You had a pretty strong stomach but the sight of various bodily fluids leaking across the floor made you queasy.

"You die so quick. Shame."

In a final fit of rage, Feitan unsheathed his sword and turned to you.

"Stupid girl. If you not pay attention, this happen to you."

There was a squelching noise as Feitan rolled the man's now decapitated head toward you like a bowling ball. Phinks and Shalnark ran into the vault to grab the stolen goods to load in the getaway car, ready to head back to base (and not wanting to deal with anymore unresolved romantic tension between the two of you).

"Everyone else had guns! I wasn't expecting the guy to have a knife," you pouted, pressing a hand to the cut to stop the bleeding.

"Tch, don't press dirty hand in open wound. You get infection."

Feitan gave his cowl a swift yank over his head and your eyes widened in surprise as he went to tie it around your arm.

"Are you sure I can use this? I know you wear it most of the time and I don't want to get it dirty," you said.

He just scoffed. "I wouldn't give if I didn't want to."

You jumped involuntary when you felt Feitan's nimble fingers work the cloth around your bleeding limb.

"Did that hurt?" he inquired, grey irises studying you intently.

"No, I'm fine," you squeaked, clearly embarrassed at your reaction but if he noticed your strange behavior, he didn't mention it. The pressure of the makeshift bandage reduced your physical discomfort a decent amount, which you were grateful for, but it did nothing to ease the mental discomfort you were feeling from Feitan's unyielding gaze.

You folded your arms. "What?"

"You need be careful in the future. You do stupid things, you die. You not take fight seriously, you get hurt or die. Even if opponent weak, you need pay attention some!"

Feitan's voice was louder than you had ever heard it before and his words were choppier than normal as he was effectively chewing you out for your foolishness. Getting hurt was mostly inevitable in any sort of mission, but your cockiness was your downfall today, not your lack of skill.

"You're right," you sighed. "I'm sorry for worrying you."

"I not worried," he replied, his tone disgruntled. His body betrayed him, though, as you saw the beginnings of a blush bloom across his pale cheeks. With the cowl on your arm instead of his face, you were able to see the effect you had on the short man you'd come to love.

"You sure about that?" you teased, making Feitan give you the nastiest side eye he could conjure up. You laughed, happy to see he cared about you just as much as you did about him. Grabbing a bag of treasure, you started loading the getaway car as well.

"You good? You're redder than a tomato," Phinks said upon entering the room. "We leave alone you with y/n for a few minutes and she's got you all flustered like that? Looks like you're the girl with a crush in this situation."

"You keep talking, you join men on floor."

[magnusmodig]

𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 of the matter , but elected to pursue it not. he knew deflection when he saw it. ... and though the matter brought a sinking , leaden weight to bear down upon his own chest for luna's sake , thor ...

. . . knew he did not wish to speak of such matters either.

perhaps she might , in time.

❝ the people of this realm call it nightmare moss, ❞ he answered , recalling the few accounts of the plant that he and loki had uncovered in the archives. ❝ t'was thought to have gone extinct many years ago. and it is the cause of many ... disturbances ... in times past. ❞ as thor spoke , he watched the moss once again grow , slithering towards luna and himself through the ground with an almost snake-like quality. ( would only his full power were restored , that he might cast out its infernal scum with the fire of storms at his heel. ) — instead , thor grasped the roots in his fist and tore legion of the vile things from the earth , casting snow and dirt to scatter in a wave behind them. baring teeth , he snapped the tangle of roots at its base with ease and tossed the plant-corpse to the side with all the distaste of a someone highly inconvenienced.

❝ it is not safe to remain still here , child. ❞

You would think seeing what Luna sae on a daily would be disorienting, but it wasn't. This was. Yet, she isn't sure if iy was becsuse of exhaustion that weighed down on her or if it was because of another thing added onto the list of 'what's real and what's not?'

Ah...she's so, so tired.

Still, she remains awake. This time fighting for as much as she can and perhaps that was why she was asking him this question. It's not an answer she expected.

He's deflecting.

Of course he wouldn't want to tell her or probably anyone for that matter of the horrors he probably did see. To Luna's knowledge, these things were growing from those...Right?

"Do you know what these are exactly? Where they came from?" She won't answer. She's not ready.

[cyberstudious]

thursday, august 22, 2024

early morning malware analysis today 🌅 I think I've settled on taking messy handwritten notes while I'm going through the material for the first time (sketching out diagrams helps!), and then typing them up and adding them to my Obsidian vault. it'll take a bit to get into the workflow, but I really want to build up a centralized place for all my notes.

I'm done with chapter 6 now, and tonight my game plan is to start tackling the labs for this chapter!

[thatdeadaquarius]

Soon.

☆

With a puzzled squint, you could see the adeptus was running over what you said in his mind, trying to parse out the meaning. Xiao then threw his head up out of his slight bow, almost glaring at you, “There is no task nor person more important than guarding you, my Lord. I will stand guard, worry not about my state.”

Nodding to you, he abruptly turned on his heel to shift to the side of the entrance to the mansion, his spear tall and ready. You’d have twitched a smile at him if you could, as you're sure he’s gotten a little more comfortable with you than when you first officially met. You’re also sure from meeting Zhongli just once in person that he’d have a small heart attack if he saw some of Xiao’s informal behavior.

But you’re glad he hasn’t, the more relaxed they are, especially considering your form, the better.

You duck inside, though the ceilings are so raised that you don’t have to go that low surprisingly. Huh, it was nice to be anticipated in a building usually sized for human heights. Wow. You��ve really reached the point of casually calling yourself inhuman.

…well, to be real with yourself right now, it might actually help to get more accustomed to that in case you’re never human again.

You also put that possibility back into the vault at the back of your mind.

☆

HEY I live, again,

I had a big life update what with my sib graduating grad school (getting their masters degree) at the same time we both moved like 2 states over from our home state 😅

and unfortunately, i wasnt able to get my monster of a sequel out in time to post it remotely to get it out to you guys while i was afk

(as i havent had wifi/free time consistently in like 2-3 weeks)

which, phew, im finally able to be settled in one place enough to write again, and have enough time in the day to not be dealing wiht my apartment to write ToT

i hope you guys arent too mad at me! (or have forgotten me?? sobs)

also.

i hear Natlan's coming out. 👀

I don't think it'll be out before i post the full (3 chapters total planned) sequel, but just in case, disclaimer-

🪄I am not to be held liable for not writing about Natlan bc it wasnt out yet woooo🪄

anyway, yeah its also taking a bit bc i wanna post the completed thing all in one go, over the course of like 3 days or so, that way u guys can actually look forward to the next little chapter in a reasonable amount of time lmao

well yknow, if anyones still reading this or my blog lol

happy summer you guys! I hope u all are having a good one so far, esp those of you in school, heart going out to yall fr <33

Catch you on the flip side (ao3 side?)✌️

Safe Travels,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

@karmascreeches / @yomilyy / @0rah-s / @idontknowwhatimdoingbutweball / @blackstar-gazer / @voidsgarden / @a-gay-piece-of-paper / @oxyotl / @thefirstonetoeverlikemeback / @kurayamioterasu / @randompersoninyourworld / @byakuren100 / @lemonade7255

[lavender-butterfly-cookie]

can you please do Burning Spice x Shy reader? You've probably done this before, if you have, can you do this version of him?

I don't know if you actually do requests or not, if you do it, it'll be greatly appreciated! :3

It's a good thing bro wasn't in the husband of the year thing, cuz he would've won with how many people love him but ok Butterfly. Same image cuz yes. I'm doing both versions by the way for the sake of I'm bored

Burning spice cookie X Shy reader V1

Why? Why- just why!? You just wanted to help Golden Cheese cookie transport the soulcheezes to the stupid vault. WHY THE HECK ARE YOU NOW IN BEAST-YEAST OF ALL PLACES?! You swear, if it wasn't for your shyness you'd have drop kicked that purple buffalo thing sooner! And if matters weren't already bad enough, guess what?~

YOU FLIPPING LOST GOLDEN CHEESE COOKE AND SMOKED CHEESE COOKIE ALONG THE WAY! You looked away for one second- JUST ONE SECOND!- And they were gone! Now you're stuck navigating your way around these blazing hot lands all on your own. FANTASTIC!

However, your annoyed mood crumbles almost immediately, being replaced by fear when you heard something in the sky. You turn around and look up, placing a hand over your eyebrows to cover your eyes from the sun. And you see... a meteorite?... during day? And why is it red and yellow and coming towards yo- oh wait a minute CRAP!

You quickly jump out of the way and it crashes down right where you were standing. You were hyperventilating as the realization hit you that you could've been crushed just 5 seconds ago. But it comes to a halt when you see someone emerge from the smoke. A rather large figure. When they revealed themselves you were frozen.

A red cookie with black messy hair and burning hot eyes stood before you, a giant axe held tightly in his grip. You prefer not to mention his golden teeth, ew. He let out a maniacal laugh that caused you to flinch back.

"Who dares enter my territory?!" The Cookie yelled, earning another flinch from you. You were frozen on the spot, and the size difference between you two was quite big. He looks down at you and chuckles at your small shaking form before walking closer. It registers in your mind too late that you should run and before you can move he picks you up by the back of your collar.

"You dare to enter my lands, little cookie?" he asks. By now you're too shy and scared to say anything. After being met with silence he brings you closer to get a better look at you, which managed to earn another squeak out of you. He seemed amused by this.

"You are one weak cookie aren't you?" He stated, obviously he wasn't actually asking. He shrugs his shoulders before hoisting you onto one, which caught you of guard.

"Do not worry, little cookie. When I'm done with you, you won't be so pitiful" he said as he started walking away. You should be protesting and trying to escape but... Part of you doesn't really want to. I mean, Golden cheese cookie and smoked cheese cookie were probably too occupied with that beast cookie, so you don't want to get in the way, right? it'll be fine!

Herald of Change X shy reader V2

You resided in a great kingdom filled with spice and zestiness, Despite how shy you were. You were the lover of the herald of change and his personality didn't match yours in the slightest. But hey, you still loved each other.

Not wishing to be a bother to anyone you stayed in your room a lot. I you're not there, you're with him. And if you're not with him and not in your room, well fuck. Now the spice tribe leaders have to go on a wild goose chase looking for you as if you didn't need the bathroom. You never got used to it all.

Now, the herald of change was a loving cookie, he really was. But as time went by you noticed how he himself was being consumed by a darker form of change. You were by his side more frequently despite your shyness so that you could at least try steering him in the right way but this was a change not even you could stop. The priests begged you to get him back to his senses but he wouldn't budge.

Because to him what's the point of living if you're bound to face the inevitable ending of death? Only destruction seemed to please him now. You found yourself growing to fear him, a lot more than you'd ever be brave enough to admit. And then all hell broke loose.

You woke up to the sounds of crashing and screaming and exited into the hall to see what was happening...

Only to find that there was no hall at all.

Everything was in ruins. Spice swarm members crumbling, buildings burning to ashes, the laughter of your own lover echoing above it all. You caught a glimpse of him.

That was not the cookie you loved.

That was not the herald of change yo once knew.

but it was.

You were at a loss. You couldn't go trying to negotiate now, he was too far gone! You can't fight him or you'll crumble on the spot!! You can't save anyone because YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO!!!

Tears welled up in your eyes and you took a step back. Then another, and another, and soon you just took off. You didn't look back, not even once. You were scared of the cookie you were supposed to share your life with. You chose to fled like a coward instead of trying harder to change the kingdoms fate, but now it was too late.

Your home was gone, your companions were gone... He was gone. And nothing's gonna change that

[honorthysalad]

nah they really treated this man as if he was nothing more than a ghost when he was an actual person.

the whole fucking school after a naked guy entered the school grounds, stabbed a teacher, and then killed himself in full view of multiple classrooms:

[davey-in-a-minivan]

Isabel Lovelace My Absolute Beloved

Lovelace is one of my favorite examples of one of my favorite kinds of characters, which is: woman who the world is trying so hard to kill and emerges beat up and spitting out teeth and still going.

(Relatedly, Eva Olivia Moreno is one of the few White Vault characters I really loved and it's on the strength of the joy I felt when i realized that not only had Eva NOT died when a rockslide separated her from the team, but instead dragged herself three days over the mountains, alone, covered in mud and blood and bruises, WITH ALL THE TEAM'S DATA DRIVES, to let the world know what was going on and demand rescue for the others. LOVE HER. Alessandra "Cockroach" Strong of the Penumbra Podcast ALSO falls into this category and I would've loved to see more of her)

Interestingly, I think Lovelace plays a similar role in-universe for Eiffel and Minkowski, in that they first encounter her as a 'character' in old audio logs whose survival they are rooting for at a remove -- when Eiffel and Minkowski listen to her logs but it's unclear whether she made it off the station, Eiffel shushes Minkowski's skepticism and says "let me have my badass space commando chick!!" In the absence of conclusive evidence he clings to the idea that she survived, for what i suspect are two reasons: (1) it means it's possible to survive and gives him and Minkowski a sliver of hope, and (2) it's not fair for her to die after trying so hard to save herself and her crew, and if she survived he can believe that there's some fairness in the universe.

After Kepler shoots Lovelace, Minkowski tells an imagined Lovelace how badly she wanted to get Lovelace home because she wanted to believe that she could go home, which feels like an echo of Eiffel's earlier sentiment--obviously by now Minkowski knows and cares about Lovelace as a person, but she's also a symbol of the ultimate survivor, who will do whatever it takes to get home. If Lovelace, who fought harder and longer, with more skill and fewer limits than Minkowski finds herself capable of, and still didn't survive, what chance is there for Minkowski and her crew?

WHICH MAKES IT SO FUCKING SATISFYING WHEN LOVELACE LIVES AGAIN.

I need you all to know--Lovelace was "dead" for, what, an episode??--in that time my then-roommate and I put up a SHRINE to her memory. She was too cool and tragic and extreme and funny and hot to die!!!

I'm very glad the universe and Gabriel Urbina agreed.

It's not only satisfying because I'm obsessed with her and wanted her back (which I admit freely). It's a riveting development in the story of the unkillable Captain Lovelace where we finally see that she CAN'T be killed because she's already dead. Functionally she's a ghost in the story, haunting the Hephaestus until she finishes her unfinished business, and there's a delightful sheen of destiny to her arc where I was like oh fuck they've already done their worst to her and she's still going. She's going to win this. I don't know what it'll cost her, this could still be a tragedy, but she's GOING to succeed.

What does this mean for the rest of the original crew looking to her as a symbol? Eiffel, Minkowski and Hera do survive, like Lovelace. It is possible. But it costs them a lot. Weeks after Lovelace dies, resurrects, and has the day-ruining revelation that she's actually the alien clone of the dead woman she thought she was haha, she talks about the discomforting effort she makes to be the real Lovelace, not the person that Goddard turned her into. I think once they return to Earth the rest of the crew will struggle in similar ways. Minkowski need to believe that Lovelace could come home, and she did. But none of them could be the same as they were before.

Now, obviously the extremes Lovelace had to go to in pursuit of survival and justice were difficult and upsetting for her. But they were also hot!! SO let's wrap this up with some of the most iconic Lovelace moments according to me:

1. The "run and hide" monologue Eiffel and Minkowski find - HOT. sorry i know this comes on the heels of her describing the harrowing tragedy of her crew members' deaths but like

that's hot!!! go girl, kill em all!!!

2. THE DEAD MAN'S SWITCH. she said im going big AND going home, through the power of insane resourcefulness and this nuclear bomb i made

3. "variations on a theme" is suuuch a good minisode

4. disabling the airlock during the clone jacobi situation without telling anyone

5. NAPALM

6a. broadly, the hostage situation during the coup, where she goads kepler into focusing on her instead of eiffel

6b. SPECIFICALLY the part of the hostage situation where she gets the show's one "fuck"

7. alien possession lovelace!!!! i know it wasn't quite her melting kepler's hand off but god it's a fun scene

8. time loop lovelace. i love a good time loop and the contrast between her yelling and goading and shooting things in the last argument but also being, like, pretty chill and pragmatic about it--this is just her method of causing enough trouble to break the loop--is fun

9. hera's and her intersecting journeys re: what it means to be a person

10. distracting cutter so minkowski can stab him with the harpoon!!!!!!

in conclusion: WHAT A CHARACTER

[fangirlingpuggle]

Very dumb Xiaolin Showdown AU/fic prompt where Dashi, comes back.

A new Wu reveals itself and everyone searches for it and when they activate it suddenly Dashi just appears falling over and dropping a can of soda like 'yeah that didn't go to plan may have fucked up there.... hey Dojo I got the soda' just Dashi tried experiment with Wu and fucked up and got trapped until it reactivated and then is just there chilling.

Guan shows up and is so happy his friend is alive but also... he knows Dashi.

When the next showdown happens Wuya is there and Guan is just paling like 'oh fuck' mostly everyone is confused like yeah she's Dashi's nemesis 'why are you worried with beat Wuya loads and she doesn't have all her powers it'll be fine right?' Guan just gives a pained look no idea how to explain....that.

The 2 start a showdown just them and it's banter and then Wuya getting upset 'I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD YOU BASTARD' and things start to get weird... Jack and the dragons are looking between each other like WTF...Dojo is paling as repressed memories are coming back and Chase basically teleports next to Omi covering his eyes just before Wuya and Dashi start making out.

Jack and the dragons jaws are on the ground other than Omi who has no idea what's happening because Chase is not letting his apprentice have to deal with this than you very much.

Somewhere in the distance they can hear Hannibal's cry of 'KNEW IT' Guan is signing in defeat 'Everyone knew it this isn't a surprise'. Then they realize it's not stopping. '...Dojo make the showdown stop..Dojo... DOJO'

That's the start of it slowly everyone realizes Dashi is not just a grand master dragon... he's is a fucking chaos gremlin who puts the world in danger as much as he saves it, it's no wonder he's so good at saving the world since he's always doing it cleaning up his own messes.

The whole hiding the wu they realize is less Dashi's decision and more everyone else's decision of making him put his objects of chaos out of reach, just putting his toys on the top shelf to stop him blowing up reality for 5 minutes.

All the other older monks at the temple decide to go on a long pilgrimages away form the temple and Dashi, and instead there's just Wuya chilling there they think she's moved in... no one wants to ask because that raises more questions... no one wants them answered.

Dashi's chaos is back in full swing and the next 'Ooops kick started end of the world event Chase shows up scoops up Omi like 'Not making him clean up Dashi's mess he's here he can do it himself taking my kid-I MEAN APPRENTICE home til Dashi has unfucked the universe' Fung wants to argue for a moment before taking a look at Dashi running into the vault yelling 'IT'S OK I CAN FIX THIS' while Wuya can't stop laughing and decides all the dragons can have a week or 2 at home... they've earned it.

Also as Wuya and Dashi have stopped any subterfuge and subtly and the whole good vs evil has now become more everyone vs Dashi's chaos Chase throws subtly out the window and is there with Omi like 'This is my son if anything happens to him I will destroy the world in a way not even Dashi's most powerful toys can fix'

Dashui: I TAKE THAT AS A CHALLENGE BRING IT ON CHASE

Guan:DASHI NO!

Which leads to Chase being around the temple more or taking Omi back to his palace because 'He is not a signing a permission slip for Omi to be involved in Dashi's latest shitshow' even though Omi is totally ready to jump into the portal to oblivion Dashi made to save the world'.

However, he sometimes gets sucked into saving the world (mix of Dasshi and Wuya teasing and Omi puppydog eyes)...as does Wuya because of reasons she will not say but her and Dashi are smirking at each other so no one is asking, they do NOT want to know. Which leads to them seeing the old dragons of their elements kicking ass and leads to all of the dragons starry eyed and demanding/pleading to know more moves and teach me how you did that please!!

Kimiko is borderline threatening Guan to teach her to make fire weapons like he did, Raimundo is near begging Dashi for the mountain cutting wind slash ability he used and flight ability, Omi is already being taught by Chase. Clay is trying to figure out how to get Wuya to teahc him some earth abilities.

Clay: Why did mine have to be an evil varmint

Dojo: I mean Omi's is too

Clay:...

Clay: That's is his pa Dojo

Dashi when not being a chaos gremlin is teasing all his friends, especially Guan and Chase because all this time and you 2 still aren't together .

Guan: Dashi he has tried to kill be many times

Dashi:...yeah...and?

Guan:....

Guan:I realized who I was speaking to after I said it

He also teases Guan about being a deadbeat dad and not spending time with Chase and his son, Guan is trying very hard to set his friend on fire.

Dashi has got Omi involved and Omi is so excited to have both his heroes spending time with him and neither can say no to him. Dashi and Wuya are watching all this giggling with popcorn.

Dojo: How mcuh of this is you wanting to help them and how much is just for your amusement

Dashi:... like 60, 40 split...which way i'm not to sure though.

Bonus: it is collectively agreed by everyone that Jack and Dashi can not spend time together Jack once asked about how the shen gong wu were made and about mechs and kaiju and everyone all has to drag them apart after they started talking... no one is allowed to give Dashi anymore ideas.

[everydayyoulovemeless]

The reaction of the companions of fo3 to the fact that they are in love with Lone Wanderer? Please 🙏

Fo3 Companions Realizing They're In Love With Lone

➼ Word Count » 0.7k ➼ Warnings » Age Gap ➼ Genre » Romantic, Pinning

Charon opts to ignore it. He's got a job to do and is bound by contract. His feelings don't matter for this transaction to work and now is no different. Despite it all, he can't help but notice how much more inclined he is to be of service to you — always offering to take the night shift, or more aware of his surroundings than he normally would be. He's never been so fond of the person holding his contract and it makes him feel so conflicted. What would you say? Would you sell him off if you found out? He's a ghoul, for Godsake, what 19-year-old teen would want him?

Clover isn't sure how to act, so she'll act in the only way she's known how — sexually. She'll run her hands across your shoulders and whisper lowly into your ears just so she can get the message across to you, but in all honesty, she truly isn't sure what it is she feels for you. It'll take he a minute to sit down and think everything over before she comes to the realization that she's in love with you. Once she figures it out, she'll tone her erotic actions toward you down, opting to instead bring you flowers, or clean up around your home. She tries to mimic you in how you treat her, hoping that it'll eventually make you feel the same for her as she does you.

Star Paladin Cross feels a bit conflicted about her feelings for you as you're the kid she helped escort to the vault. She's well aware of her body modifications and the sheer age gap between you two and would, therefore, try to extinguish these feelings at all costs. You two weren't meant to be together, and she needs to get a grip before this turns into anything more than you and her being comrades.

Jericho doesn't care if you catch on to how he feels or not, he'll just pin you up against a wall and try to get you flustered. This has always been his way of showing someone that he's interested in them and he'll stick with this method until you say something about it. He's constantly in your face — whether he be throwing his arms around you or squishing your cheeks between his fingers. He loves the way you swat at him and the cute way you roll your eyes at his antics, however, he doesn't realize that he's in love until you get injured badly. Then reality will hit him and he'll (slightly) drop his douchy act and make an actual attempt at wooing you.

Butch tries to play it off and act the same as he always has, but every time he's around you he can't help but fall into a blushing, flustered mess. He's a teenager who's never actually been in love before, and he hates every second of it. Who do you think you are anyway? Walking around as if you're blissfully unaware of his feelings toward you. He gets meaner towards you — teasing you more often and tripping you whenever the chance arises — but it's only to help try and mask his intentions. He'll only put the pieces together when someone else tries to flirt with you, then he'll pull his pocket knife out, scare the guy off, and go right back to how he was before — a bumbling mess.

Fawkes knew he loved you the second you broke him out of that vault, however, he's well aware of how he looks and would never dream of putting you into a situation like that, so he keeps it to himself. He'll be polite to you — always opening doors and offering to hold onto the heavier items and weapons you may possess, but that's the extent of it. He's older than you and would hate to hold you down in any way, so he'll love you from afar and risk his life for you any chance he gets. It's the only way he can think of to pay you back for being so kind toward him.

[taylorklosscomeout138]

Hello! What are your thoughts on the mass coming out theory and comingoutlor? xx

Hi! I reposted almost all my coming out lore theories so if you do have the time to scroll through my feed you will find them all! I would absolutely restate everything but it is a LOTTTTTT there is so many moving parts and sub groups of interconnecting theories. However, I will briefly summarize current and touch on New Romantics.

I'm still a firm believer in Dec 13th coming out on her birthday. I have thought for some time it'll be the Reputation TV release with KARma as the vault tracks (KARma the album will be how she comes out initially, it is explicity about KARlie and that is why she was not allowed to release it in 2016, instead we got tracks born from Karma which is why Rep is her shortest album to date only 15 tracks. It will be the full album and likely be rock of some kind in honor of Carly Simon and all of that implemented lore, which there is a ENTIRE rabbit hole of Carly Simon and James Taylor/James Hart but that's for another time, but she tested this type of album structure with TTPD / The Anthology)

Right now the storyline is the Wizard of Oz, the yellow brick road, with the destination being emerald city. I believe she will arrive at the emerald city a day after the final eras tour date, Dec 9th, which is also the first day after she ghosts a Chiefs home game for the first time. If you look at the eras dates compared to home game dates, she has always planned around them, even in upcoming, just 1 day off, but Dec 8th she directly overrid that game, that's her goodbye to "Kansas" bcuz in this story, she wants to stay in Oz. Oz is the secret garden in her mind, the planet where they can all understand it, the great escape. And she is the Wizard behind the curtain. The Wizard doesn't leave Oz. As the story goes, after arriving at Emerald City, the curtain is pulled on the Wizard revealing that the Wizard was entirely something and someone different than the initial facade, the brand facade. So that would allign with Dec 9th, emerald city, Dec 13th, curtain pulled.

I think at first Taylor will let the music speak for itself, then release a statement in the coming days. But the actual public step into the daylight WITH Karlie will be a little longer. I don't have a specific date for that at this time, but I wouldn't think too much longer after. Time will tell

I have a whole Bejeweled theory too that explains this same timeline with "she ghosted" and everything that is worth the read! I'll repost my older theories as well after this that are not on my feed currently.

As far as New Romantics project, yes this is absolutely happening. This is the Chely Wright prophecy. It starts with Taylor and she has to be the big name to lead it, but it does not nearly end with her, there will be many coming outs. There is a common misconception in the industry in terms of what it means to be out. Even celebs who were able to come out as LGBTQ+ are not out in the way they want to be. You'll notice even those people do not have queer public relationships. They can be explicity writing in their music that they are in one and yet they are still not allowed to go out in public and hold their lovers hand in front of the cameras. Some queer celebs aren't allowed to come out in any way shape or form, others can but only to an extent, but the one that remains consistent is that majority cannot have a public queer love relationship, and THAT is the major break out. So don't just expect to see confirmation of labels, expect to see confirmation of muses.

The reason this takes a big name like Taylor to initiate it, like Chely Wright said, is because of how many queer celebs are afraid and don't have the power to do it on their own and withstand not losing their career within the industry. So someone who is a huge world wide name must first set the precedent and normalize this. The world must understand queer love is not only normal in general, but it is extremely normal in the celebrity scene. And this is specifically how Chely Wright said it must be done. "I'm gay. And I'm normal."

So yes, that is honestly only scratching the surface but that's my best way to sum up the main events going on right now. Please feel free to ask any further questions, and as I mentioned my in depth takes of each component and more will be on my feed for all to read!

[andmaybegayer]

can you actually talk about bitwarden / password managers, or direct me to a post about them? Idk my (completely uneducated) instinct says that trusting one application with all your passwords is about as bad as having the same password for everything, but clearly that isn’t the case.

So it is true that online password managers present a big juicy target, and if you have very stringent security requirements you'd be better off with an offline password manager that is not exposed to attack.

However, for most people the alternative is "reusing the same password/closely related password patterns for everything", the risk that one random site gets compromised is much higher than the risk that a highly security focussed password provider gets compromised.

Which is not to say it can't happen, LastPass gets hacked alarmingly often, but most online password managers do their due diligence. I am more willing to stash my passwords with 1Password or Bitwarden or Dashlane than I am to go through the rigamarole of self-managing an array of unique passwords across multiple devices.

Bitwarden and other password managers try to store only an encrypted copy of your password vault, and they take steps to ensure you never ever send them your decryption key. When you want a password, you ask them for your vault, you decrypt it with your key, and now you have a local decrypted copy without ever sending your key to anyone. If you make changes, you make them locally and send back an encrypted updated vault.

As a result, someone who hacks Bitwarden should in the absolute worst case get a pile of encrypted vaults, but without each individuals' decryption key those vaults are useless. They'd still have to go around decrypting each vault one by one. Combining a good encryption algorithm, robust salting, and a decent key, you can easily get a vault to "taking the full lifetime of the universe" levels on security against modern cryptographic attacks.

Now there can be issues with this. Auto-fill can be attacked if you go onto a malicious website, poorly coded managers can leak information or accidentally include logging of passwords when they shouldn't, and obviously you don't know that 1Password isn't backdoored by the CIA/Mossad/Vatican. If these are concerns then you shouldn't trust online password managers, and you should use something where you remain in control of your vault and only ever manually handle your password.

Bitwarden is open source and fairly regularly audited, so you can be somewhat assured that they're not compromised. If you are worried about that, you can use something like KeePassXC/GNU Pass/Himitsu/ (which all hand you the vault file and it's your job to keep track of it and keep it safe) or use clever cryptographic methods (like instead of storing a password you use a secret key to encrypt and hash a reproducible code and use that as your password, e.g. my netflix password could be hash(crypt("netflixkalium", MySecretKey)), I know a few people who use that method.

Now with any luck because Apple is pushing for passkeys (which is just a nice name for a family of cryptographic verification systems that includes FIDO2/Webauthn) we can slowly move away from the nightmare that is passwords altogether with some kind of user friendly public key based verification, but it'll be a few years before that takes off. Seriously the real issue with a password is that with normal implementations every time you want to use it you have to send your ultra secret password over the internet to the verifying party.

[bringbacktim]

Reaction video (deleted scenes)-jschlatt

This was meant as a celebration for me getting 500 likes ( which is crazy thank you guys sm) but it took me so long to write it that I've now reached 1000 and have to think of something really good ( and smutty ) for that

This is all the embarrassing moments that didn't make the cut for the first imagine , basically reaction video (from the vault)

Warnings:mention of sex tape, swearing, making out , innuendos, god knows what else

Not edited or proofread

Wc:3k words

After seeing the positive reaction their fans had towards the YouTube video y/n and her boyfriend Jschlatt posted, which was just them embarrassing themselves the entire video , they decided to make a part two after finding out the same channel had made another embarrassing moments compilation

"We're back again and ready to embarrass ourselves" y/n said introducing the video

"And out our sex lives" schlatt added knowing they need to stop acting so unprofessional in front of cameras

Embarrassing moment #1

The first one was captured via Charlie's Instagram story at some fancy restaurant ted had invited : schlatt , y/n , and charlie to while they were in LA filming

"Before we even got there we were scolded by Ted to not do anything inappropriate because it was a fancy restaurant , he even made us sit opposite each other" she laughed remembering how Ted was like a concerned parent

"I just want to say before this clip plays , I had no part in this" schlatt said trying to clear his name

This moment was less of a continuous clip and more of a few intagram stories that consisted of just silly photographs of the tiny portions of food or Ted and Charlie doing some stupid joke

There was nothing really out of the ordinary or inappropriate and Ted was thanking the God's above . It was probably due to the fact that Y/n was typing away on her phone and schlatt was deep in conversation, but he was thankful nonetheless

"You've retyped that message a hundred times , what can you not figure out what to say" he asked trying not to be nosy but just wanted to help her

"Anything I say just sounds too needy" she said hoping he didn't get the sexual aspect she was hinting at

"Are you seriously sexting right now"he said with a shake of his head and a sigh

"Would you rather me do it in person" she said as he made a face that said 'good call'

"You and schlatt are the nastiest people I know , how do you sound "too needy"" he said using quotation marks to prove his point

"I'm not even going to bother showing you because it'll end up somewhere online" she half joked as she finally figured out what she wanted to text schlatt as ted turned to talk to him

The text was simple but also got the point across, but it also got in the frame for Charlie's video for barely two seconds as he did a quick sweep of the table , however the fans were quick to spot the 'quickie in the bathroom?' text appear on his screen , but Schlatt was too deep in conversation to hear his phone ping

"Right now? You pigs" Charlie said after putting his phone down , this catching Jschlatt's attention

"What are you talking about man" he said used to having that insult towards him and his sexual antics , but he hadn't done anything

"You might want to check your phone" Charlie said as schlatt checked his phone stood up and said "uh I'll be back in like 10 minutes" checking his watch as he waited for his girlfriend to also stand up

"Can't take them anywhere" Ted laughed recording them giggling and walking away as a punishment

"That wasn't as bad as I remembered , I mean that is a pretty tame text" he said looking at his girlfriend for her agreement

"I can tell Its going to go downhill from here" she said playing the next clip

Embarrassing moment #2

"If you don't want to be that crazy then you'll do ATM-ing , where you take the dick and slide it between the buttcheeks until you come and that's not sex, but it's like an ATM card" Qtcinderella explained to the group

"Okay so you can slide the card but you can't insert the chip" schlatt replied half serious half laughing

"The smirk on your face is so evident , you smug bastard" y/n said turning to her boyfriend as he put his hands up in surrender " ATM-ing  is not as fun as it sounds , I don't recommend"

"Care to elaborate on that" ted laughs turning his head to his left at lightning speed

"I felt like I was acting out sausage party" she replied cringing at the memory

"The thought is better than reality sad to say " Schlatt said getting closer to the microphone and basically whispering

Embarrasing moment #3

This one came from a stream he was doing and he found some beef jerky in the kitchen when he took a snack break, but it turned out to be disgusting

"I can't even apologise for this one , I stand by it"

"My guest appearance was everyone's favourite part let's be honest" his girlfriend said knowing his fans love her

"Chat don't ever try organic grass fed beef jerky , tastes like actual ass" he had to hold back a gag at how gross it was

"The broad must of bought it , I would never had gone for organic" chat went wild over the mention of you

"I hope they see this clip of me and shut the fucking company down" schlatt said walking to the other side of the room to get the trash can to show him throwing it away

As he holds it up to the camera for the dramatic effect it is evidently clear that there is a used condom very clearly sat in the bottom of the trash can next to a wrapper of some kind , after throwing away the beef jerky he saw chat going crazy about whatever was in the garbage

"Guys what are you going crazy over in chat" he said scrolling through the comments like an idiot instead of just looking in the object in his hand

Y/n was confused why her phone was blowing up with notifications from her fans saying to go see what schlatt was doing or to join his live, so she obviously did worried about whether he had just revealed something private or hurt himself

Joining his live to see him staring off into space clearly remembering him fucking her over the desk the night before in that short skirt he loved

"The way you stop in your fucking tracks trash can still in view just reliving it with no shame"

"It was a good night, can you blame me" he shrugged his shoulders

Calling his phone didn't snap him out of it , so she stormed into his office mortified that however many people could see what was in the garbage

Waving a hand in front of his face and taking it out of his hands seemed to do the trick as he blushed and started laughing

"You can't blame me , you wore that skirt last night knowing how it would end" he said forgetting they weren't the only two people on earth but also not caring

"Why do you think I keep wearing it" she laughed "didn't think it would distract you so much though"

"Can't wait for the photos and clips to circle the internet later" he said sitting back down in his chair as she said goodbye and left

" I don't know how you didn't get banned for that" his girlfriend questioned as he shrugged and chuckled

"They sent me a very stern email"

Embarrassing moment #4

This moment was captured via CCTV outside Ted's house , but he posted it to his Instagram story cause he thought it was funny (he was a little drunk)

Ted had invited Y/n and Schlatt over for dinner kind of like a double date , but also just to catch up

"You better not embarrass us tonight"  his girlfriend scolded him as they walked up to the door of Ted's house and she knocked on the door

"When have I ever not been on my best behaviour" he feigned innocence

"You do it every time we do anything, no one would even be phased if our tape got leaked" she joked

"You have to stop joking about that for my sanity"

"If you cared that much about it getting leaked you wouldn't keep it under no protection" Y/n said knocking again " what is taking Ted so long , I'm getting bored"

"I know a way we can pass the time" schlatt said trying to hold in his laugh at how cliche it was

"If I kiss you , promise me you'll never speak like that again" she said leaning in and closing the gap between them

Obviously, things got heated pretty quickly (it is them afterall) . So when the Nivison boy did eventually make it to the door , he was greeted with the sight of his good friend Jschlatt making out with his girlfriend with a very prominent hand on her behind

He awkwardly cleared his throat as they stepped apart

"Nice of you to finally let us in" schlatt joked walking past him and into the house

"Almost got dicked down in your driveway to pass the time" Y/n followed up

"You guys would've done it either way , just don't keep me up tonight" he warned before closing the door

"He actually kept us awake that night , but fortunately for him I didn't video it and post it on the internet" Y/n remarked

"Why did we pick careers with cameras everywhere" schlatt questioned with a confused face

Embarrassing moment #5

This one happened once again on stream , he was sat at his desk reacting to some compilation of something someone made him . Truth be told the only thing he could focus on was the feeling of his girlfriends mouth around his cock under the desk

Sure it was an adventurous thing to do and would most likely get them caught, but schlatt couldn't care less these reaction videos were getting boring and he needed something to stay focused

"This one is the most embarrassing, people still make fun of us for this" Y/n said hiding her head in her hands

"It was fun at the time, but oh my God do people not shut up about it" her boyfriend agreed lightly chuckling

Anytime he let a groan or any noise slip out he would try to cover it up by acting like he was reacting to the video and adding some comment onto it . All was well until she tried a new technique that almost made him blow a load in zero point two seconds , as she attempted to do it again by getting closer to him so she could get more of him in her mouth , but overestimated how much room there was between her head and the desk resulting in her losing her grip on the carpet and lunging forward resulting in a rather loud gag due to the acoustics of the wooden desk she was under

"Ow" she said pushing his chair back and her head peaking out just enough for the camera to see which obviously everyone saw and went mad for

He just pushed her head back under until he put his 'be back soon' screen up and checked if she was okay

"I didn't even want to go on Twitter for days after this , the one time this guy isn't screaming at the top of his lungs" y/n said pointing at him

"The acoustics of the desk didn't help with how loud the gag was either"  he added

Embarrassing moment #6

This one happened at Sneegsnag's wedding and was captured by Ted and uploaded to Instagram (he was past tipsy at this point)

"I can tell by that suit we're at Sneegsnag's wedding, but which moment is going to play is the question" y/n said hoping it was the tamer one

"I'm gonna guess the Ted one" jschlatt said making it into a game

As it was the Ted clip, he showed up on screen slurring some words into the camera before turning the camera around to pan across the entire room

He heard the slow songs starting to play and questioned why Y/n and Schlatt the most in love couple he knew weren't on the dance floor right now , so like any drunk wedding guest he stomped over to them phone still in hand and asked"why are you guys not dancing?"

"Big guy won't dance with me" his friend replied sulking

"C'mon man , don't be that guy" ted said pulling a face at his friend

"I'll dance if you and shae do" schlatt bargained

As ted looked at his friend y/n who was already looking at him with what can only be described as a pleasing look "fine" he said for the sake of his friend

"He could've stopped recording here and just made it look like a nice moment" Y/n pointed out knowing what was coming

"There's not a single nice moment of the three of us , or just the two of us" her boyfriend joked

Before they got to the dance floor where the photographer was most likely taking pictures , so she did what any good person would do and fixed his collar and smoothed out his shirt for him

"If I knew you'd be acting like my good housewife , I would've said yes to dancing the first time you asked" he laughed grabbing a handful of ass as she hid her face in his chest embarrassed about such a stupid joke being caught on camera . A joke that nonetheless was going to be labelled as offensive by people online

"People took that housewife joke and ran with it honestly" y/n said rolling her eyes

"Alot of people didn't realise that it was a harmless joke, this broad would make the worst housewife ever" he said trying to keep a serious face as he pressed play on the video

Embarrassing moment #7

This one was on an episode of chuckle sandwich , they were talking about how people who believe everything they see on the internet is true are idiots

"This one keeps me up at night , I apologise to whoever had to blur this part" she cringed hiding her head in her boyfriends shoulder as he attempted to soothe her by patting/rubbing the back of her head

"As soon as this happened, I begged everyone to let me edit that part of the video , I didn't want anyone else seeing it uncensored" Jschlatt said before pressing play , letting his possessive side shine through

"You're so possessive"

"How would you like it if I whipped out my cock for everyone to see " he turned towards her and asked as she agreed

"I keep getting DM's from fans asking if facts they see on social media are real or not , anyone else?" Ted asked the group

"No what the fuck type of fans do you have" schlatt laughed

"What facts do they want to know?"

Y/n asked

"I've never seen a single video on social media that had any true facts" charlie said

Schlatt muttered a 'true' in response to his friend, but was caught off guard by his girlfriend staring at him with an all knowing look from her square on screen "why are you staring at me like that" he said probably cutting off a conversation

"What about that tiktok you sent me the other day that said staring at boobs can make a man live longer, and you said it was "very true" his girlfriend called him out

"You guys can back me up here" he said leaning back in his seat and smirking

" I have to agree with schlatt on this one" Ted said standing up for his friend

"That's the first true fact I've heard that comes from social media" Charlie said contradicting his statement from earlier as they laughed

Schlatt heard a knock on his office door so went to open it thinking it was one of the cats , not expecting it to be his girlfriend

"What's wrong?" He said cat parent mode activating

"Is your camera off ?" She whispered

"What are you two doing in that doorway?" Ted said thinking it was probably sexual

"Hang on, I'll be back guys" schlatt said going to press the button that turned his camera off , but accidentally clicked the one that muted him

"Why are we always the ones being embarrassed, when is it anyone else's turn" Y/n said remembering how embarrassing this clip was

"Audio listeners love you to death , Y/n knocked on Schlatt's door and then he attempted to turn his camera off and failed, but he's across the room so won't hear us if we tell him"

What the trio (+tucker) didn't expect to happen next was for Y/n to pull the bottom of the shirt she was wearing upwards and flash everyone in that call . Charlie and Ted have never turned their head away from something so quickly and pretend to be doing something else

"This is just like when a sex scene comes on when you're watching a movie as a family and you gave to pretend to be interested in the carpet" charlie said trying to fill in the awkward pause

By the time Ted had told the audio listeners what just went down schlatt and Y/n were back in their respective squares on screen fully clothed

"You can wipe that smile off your face,we all just witnessed that" Ted said not bothering to beat around the bush

"Let me know when this gets edited" schlatt ended the conversation by saying

"When you said you censored my boobs out of the video I half expected a twin tower on each one" (don't tell me he wouldn't do that) she laughed as he hung his head in disappointment

"Why didn't I think of that , the powered by bitchdust bumper sticker seems stupid now"

After some more jokes and mean comments about their friends , they bid farewell to whoever would watch the video and made a pact to dial down the amount of embarrassing moments they produced