#but for now I have other things to work on hehe

[zoieru]

Mind-dump analysis of Sunday and Welt

Non-romantic, though you can see it that way if you want. Basically musings on their dialogue, body language, trauma responses and their views of the world. Based on my noggin, my experiences, and my knowledge on psych and philosophy. Mentions of trauma, and Aventurine. Spoilers for 3.0. Come chat with me about it in the ask box pls oml. (html broke read more link sorry)

So I was writing an Astral Express Sunday headcanon thing, and realised the part with welt I had more thoughts on than I could handle !!! So I decided to make a bigger breakdown of it from my perspective weeee. 1.7k more thoughts...hehe. Includes pics.

So, Sunday is essentially coming into this new world (the astral express lifestyle, the knowledge and involvement of other planets issues, everything not just Penacony) for the first time, and in a vulnerable state at that. He was trained and groomed to be who he was basically his whole life, and not just the positions of power and control, but his position he gave himself also of protector of his sister. That's been taken from him, all of it, his role, his direction, drive, everything. To say the man must feel lost is understatement of the century.

So when he is confronted with Welt Yang, a mysterious and stoic man who displays his intelligence by deciphering there's something up with his disguise, questions him on his motives, etc, but then seemingly confidently starts to trust him, he is...confused?

First, Welt says multiple times that he knows how he feels, he's had to leave a home quickly too, but doesn't elaborate. So his reasons are already determined at least somewhat by his empathy for Sunday. That is a lot for Sunday to work through. He mustn't have really related to anyone in his life, even his sister due to their vastly different experiences despite being in the same spot. To have someone, and quite quickly, especially after what he just did, sympathise, empathise, and relate to him...thats intriguing, and confusing, and probably a bit suspicious.

Further, when going to meet Robin, Sunday outwardly questions why Welt is giving him the privacy to speak to her, refusing to be a bystander for his benefit. Welt answers:

'i believe you're the kind of person that has the ability and desire to use everything to your advantage... but that everything does not involve Miss Robin'

Sunday pauses, and thanks him. It's confusing, unexpected, and yet another puzzle into Welt's character. I think this moment means an incredible amount to Sunday. Ultimately, his sister is everything to him, where everything started, and Welt has given him the space and freedom to do the thing he is so nervous for, he is dreading but must do, one of the hardest things he's probably ever done, say goodbye for an indeterminate amount of time. Who else has probably shown him this sort of seemingly genuine act of kindness, goodness, before? Probably no one. Plus, despite not really outwardly discussing his relationship with his sister with Welt before this, Welt shows an understanding of Sunday's care for her, to the point his usual nature and methods don't apply to Robin.

So that's why Sunday asks another question, after saying goodbye to Robin

He's starting to see himself in Welt, I believe, in some way, when he says 'I had a feeling that you would never give up on someone who needed help' which is reinforced by his 'help' of Sunday just now. But I think what Sunday is maybe confused about here is why him, why here. He is confused why they 'help' him, a 'nortorious fugitive' and a 'friend they never knew', rather than people in new worlds, people he deems perhaps deserve it more, people who he thinks Welt should care about. I believe, here, he is still viewing things zoomed out, from a grand perspective. He sees 'people' as an entity, much like how he did with his plan, saving them from misery by keeping them in the dream. But Welt goes on to explain that it's the people he meets that are his trailblaze, but on an individual and connection scale, not 'helping peopleTM' like he tried to.

And that means Sunday, it means Tingyun. Sunday even asks directly, then, 'why me?', and Welt repeats his previous answer. 'i know how you feel.' despite what he's done, he offers him empathy, help, and connection. It's alien to Sunday. He has heard the worst of people's deeds, was tormented by them, wanted to save them from themselves, yet Welt is just accepting him.

Then another thing, Welt sits in the audience watching Sunday become himself, say goodbye to his old self and everything he once knew, literally becoming whole again, and slightly unsure of how he exactly he will be once both halves combine. This moment is so so intimate, so deeply personal, perhaps the most personal I mean he's literally talking to himself, becoming himself, shedding everything he's ever known, starting a new life. And Welt isn't just watching. He says:

'Regardless of the outcome, you will have a witness. I'll be waiting for you in the audience.'

Here, he does multiple things. One, he is promising Sunday he will be here for him and almost continue to accept him in whatever shape or form after he's done, giving him the respect and time to do his thing, and the support he wasnt planning to get. Its like...almost a threat, saying he wont let him run away after, but not quite. its also a signal of protection. He is staying with Sunday through this obviously terrifying and massive moment, at a safe and respectful but supportive distance, something Sunday was planning to go through alone. Also, he says he'll wait for him. That's so...personal. ugh, it's too much. And the thing is, Sunday lets him, thanks him, wants him to be there. Trusts him enough to see him at almost a most vulnerable point in his life. Crazy stuff.

Plus, during this line, the camera zooms in on Welt's face for just a few seconds, emphasising how big this is.

Now I'm not sure if we should assume Welt can hear everything Sunday says to himself. The theatre is empty, afterall, but I dont know. Sunday says he's scared, says why he's scared, tells himself he doesn't like himself, parts of him. It's so goddamn personal, heart wrenching, truly. And there's a line here I want to discuss quick.

'to save more lives, you must first understand what they live for and what they die for. The best way to achieve this is through personal experience.''

This is a reflection of Welt's words, his reason for trailblazing. It shows he's taken them to heart, ponders them, realises that to truly help people like Welt does, he needs to know them, not see them as an entity from above.

Also, when done, Welt makes a gentle joke that covers the supportive gesture of his acceptance of 'either' of Sunday's selves. He almost dismissed the whole act as if it was casual, while subtly acknowledging it's significance, and gently showing his support, so it all doesn't make Sunday feel uncomfy.

'Well, how should I address you now? Mr Sunday or Mr Wonweek?'

I love it.

Then Sunday has the confidence to request staying with the Astral Express Crew. Knowing the others might hate the idea, but having enough confidence in the fact that Welt at least seems to want him there.

'You are one of my trailblazing goals.'

Sunday looks visibly touched by this statement. the feels.

So let's now skip to the Astral Express, where he's been on a while let's say.

After all this, Sunday and Welt almost have this unspoken deep connection somehow. They have shared a deeply personal moment for Sunday, and Welt has shared more with Sunday about himself than he ever has with anyone on screen that we've seen before.begins to respect Welt Yang quite tremendously really. Sunday now has time to sit, think, reflect, and probably torment himself with thoughts.

I think he has built this ridiculous level of respect for Welt, perhaps more than for most in his life. And also intrigue, confusion. He perhaps observes him. It is obvious Welt has a troubled and mysterious past, the extent of which is unknown but suggested, yet the man has a poise about him that seems stable, secure, confident. It intrigues him, maybe makes him a little envious even that despite this man having no set 'home', travelling the trailblaze with seemingly little control over things Sunday feels he would lose his mind over, he still seems confident in himself.

You ever feel like you're pretty self sufficient and able when alone or most of the time, but theres that one person where you're in their company and it's suddenly like all your brain function has dimmed and been transferred to them and they're now the 'thinker' and 'doer' and you're just there mostly looking pretty?? That's Sunday and Welt sometimes. Sunday was so used to being everything, controlling everything, seeing everything, that now he can relax that, or rather forced to let go of all that, as hard as that is, he finds himself inadvertently letting Welt take over a bit, observing and involving himself but Welt taking the lead. It's perhaps part of a trauma response to having to grow up too fast, to not being able to have had the points in life where you can trust and let someone have control for a while without risk. So as a result of this trust and acceptance he has built with Welt, his brain just sort of...relaxes a little. Welp.

That's displayed well in the infamous 'mom speak to the doctor for me pls' scene, I think. Cute.

Okay it's the end now, I could probably yap more but my thumbs hurt. One more musing though:

I wonder what it would be like for Sunday and Aventurine to meet, after all of that. They, ultimately, had a similar journey in terms of them making a big decision, a big 'attempt' at something bigger than themselves intricately linked to their identities and core beliefs, having to face parts of themselves along the way.

Now that Sunday has shed his 'grandiose' demeanour and plans, I wonder what it would look like for them to meet on equal terms. (Obviously not really knowing how this whole thing will have affected Aven coming out of it).

These two men, as literally mentioned in the 'combining selves' scene for Sunday in the theatre, are fundamentally opposed. One has been made to and has had to build his life and principles on control. One has had no choice to and built his life on luck, lack of control. It's such an interesting dichotomy to me.

There's also this interaction with Welt and Sunday before meeting Robin:

'I had a hunch and decided to try my luck. Seems I can be lucky sometimes'

'its not like you to leave things to luck'

'I'm trying to change too'

It's twice, in this long section, that Aventurine/luck is mentioned, at least. I wonder how he would view him should he know more, and now that he seems to have a certain begrudging acceptance and respect for luck/chance.

OKAY IM DONE FR NOW HAHAHA come discuss with me if u want :3 hope you enjoyed.

Here, take this, its not safe out there

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

[otomiyaa]

Hide and Seek

Viktor x Jayce

A/N: Another from this poll, finished! Still working through them in order, hehe, slowly.

Summary: Sequel to this Caitvi fic - Viktor and Jayce are working comfortably when their productive afternoon is interrupted with, uh, something similar to hide and seek, and one-sided tickle wars? (Also on AO3)

Word Count: 2.2K

"Jaaaaaaayce."

Viktor watched with amusement how Jayce Talis stormed through the lab like a startled animal.

He bumped his leg against the desk and knocked over some of their equipment, but eventually found a safe spot in the corner of their lab to hide, right behind their unused heater prototype. Well, until recently, when Jayce had used it to transport Vi in secret into Caitlyn's office for some sort of revenge mission.

Speaking of Vi, she was actually the reason Jayce was rushing through the office and hiding. Heh, he had been lucky she was so cheeky to announce her arrival soon before she reached them.

"Jayce Talis. Where are you?" She stood cockily in the lab as if she came here often, which wasn't really the case.

"Hello, Vi," Viktor greeted casually. Vi strode into the lab and looked around their organized mess.

"Where's the pretty boy? Day off?" she wondered. Viktor shook his head.

"He's over there."

Oh. Right after saying so, Viktor realized that Jayce must be reacting this way for a reason.

"Good!" Vi clapped her hands and walked over to where Jayce was hiding. Before she could reach him, Jayce jumped from his hiding place and circled around the room.

"Viktor how could you!" He sounded awfully cute as he accused him. Viktor chuckled.

"I'm sorry," he said, but Jayce had worse things to deal with. Vi was approaching him like an evil predator, and Viktor abandoned his work to admire the way Jayce grinned nervously.

"Were you hiding from me, pretty boy?" she asked.

"Look, what happened the other dayー"

"Who says I'm not just here to ask you for another favor? Don't you trust me?"

Even Viktor wouldn't have trusted her. She was smiling too nicely, and the tone in her voice was too sweet.

"I know you're here to make me- pahahay no! Don't you dare!" Jayce jumped away when Vi reached for him.

"I wasn't even going to do anything." Vi sounded unimpressed by how the usually cool Jayce Talis was now stumbling around all giggly and flustered. Viktor recognized Jayce's ticklish reactions before he even got tickled. He wondered if Vi really would go so far, knowing she wasn't even that close to Jayce.

Of course Viktor had heard a bit about how Jayce was going to help Vi with her revenge on Caitlyn, and later when he urged Jayce to tell him more about why he was acting so funny, Jayce admitted to him that he betrayed Vi and teamed up with Caitlyn instead.

It sounded like a fun thing between friends, and Viktor hadn't thought Vi would actually be back to, well yeah, punish Jayce or anything.

"V-Viktor, I'll get you later!" Jayce warned before he ran off with Vi after him. Viktor chuckled and didn't even bother helping him, but once he repeated those words in his head, it started to sink in. Jayce betrayed Vi, now Vi was after him. Viktor betrayed Jayce, so...?

Well, betrayed was a big word of course. But Viktor would admit that it wasn't very nice of him to bluntly give away Jayce's hiding spot without giving it much thought.

I'll get you later!

Even when flustered and giggly, Jayce could sound quite threatening. More than that, the meaning of those words started to sink in.

Feeling his cheeks heat up at the thought of Jayce punishing him, Viktor could no longer focus on his work and he stepped away from the desk. Hmm. He wondered how long Jayce would be gone.

A bathroom visit would be a good option, for now. A long one. Until Jayce came back and cooled down. Until his work would reel him back in, full concentration, so he would forget about that little threat, if it even meant anything. But even if it didn't mean anything, Viktor didn't feel like risking it.

His body felt all fluttery already at the mere thought. Jayce had tickled him before. If he was going ahead with a similar punishment, Viktor would be useless by the time he was finished with him. Flustered, breathless, his body burning as if it was on fire. Viktor remembered feeling like this and retreated into a bathroom stall.

Without needing to do anything, Viktor locked himself in the stall, put his cane to the side, toilet lid down, and sat fully clothed on it as if it was a comfortable chair. He took out the notebook he had brought and studied his notes for some entertainment.

It was a good hiding place, if Viktor could call this hiding. No, he wasn't really hiding. He was just making sure to avoid facing Jayce for the next couple of minutes. Which could be considered the same thing, oh well.

He listened carefully whether he could hear anything outside that would indicate what the hell was going on with Jayce and his new pal Vi, or enemy, whatever they were. There was nothing. Just silence, and the sound of the pages of his notebook. They must've raced each other through the whole building, or made amends. Who knew.

But then... Viktor jolted when he suddenly heard the door open, and he held his breath. He recognized Jayce right away - he was breathing heavily, of which the sound was soon drowned by the sound of running water.

"That little shit," Jayce cursed breathlessly, and he coughed a few times. Viktor felt his lips curl and he covered his mouth to hold back an audible chuckle. Heehee. Looked like Jayce really had a new friend, and that friend hadn't been going easy on him. Viktor would've liked to make fun of him if he hadn't already put him in this potential vengeful mood.

Viktor heard Jayce splash water in his face and drink some. He then cut off the water and let out a deep sigh. Waiting for him to go back to the lab, Viktor remained silent. Yes, Jayce. Break's over. No more playing around. Time to get back to work. Right now.

"Viktor. Is that you?"

Oh.

Viktor's breath hitched and he quickly grabbed his cane, a reflex he didn't understand. It wasn't going to protect him if Jayce would find him.

"...." Speechless, Viktor chose not to answer him. A bad move of course, which only rose suspicion.

"Viktor~?" Eep. Viktor didn't like the tone of that. He blushed and remained silent.

He heard Jayce move until he stood before the stall. Then the sound of a hand against the door.

"I know you're in there."

"...." It felt like a childish game of hide and seek. Viktor definitely felt the thrill, and even though he had never played hide and seek before, he could understand the fun of it.

"Viiiiktor," Jayce sang, tapping his fingers against the door. Yeah, he wasn't going to leave. Viktor sighed.

"Is it a habit of yours to disturb people when they're at the bathroom, Jayce?" Viktor tried to sound cool.

"Is it a habit of yours to rat out your loved ones, Viktor?" Jayce immediately retaliated, and Viktor was embarrassed to not have an answer to that.

Loved ones. It was indeed what they were but... More blushing, oof.

"It was an accident. If you came to talk about this, we can do it after I'm finished. You go back first."

Jayce laughed. "You make a good actor, Viktor. But you can't fool me. I know you're not doing anything in there."

"....What are you implying?" Viktor asked.

"I'm implying that you're hiding in there."

"I'm not a child. I don't play hide and seek. Like a certain someone," Viktor reminded him of Jayce's earlier attempt at hiding from Vi.

Their playful argument went back and forth, and continued to do so.

"Yet, you're hiding from me right now, Viktor."

"No, I am not. When you have to go, you have to go."

"Really? Okay then. Lucky you, to have such a loyal and social partner. I'll wait here until you are finished."

Damn. Viktor hesitated whether he should throw in lame excuses like a bad stomach, but no. He rolled his eyes fondly and finally got up from the toilet. His legs complained; he had been quite comfortable actually. To tease Jayce further, Viktor couldn't help but flush the toilet.

"Are you going to step away from the door and let me out?" Viktor asked, noticing that Jayce was still right in front of his stall. He made the mistake to unlock the door right after he said that, without hearing an answer.

Jayce was the one to open the door first as soon as it was unlocked, slamming it with enthusiasm, and Viktor gulped when he saw the smirk on his face.

That did not look like the face of a man who got his ass handed to him by a girl just now. Jayce Talis really was something else.

"Jayce, please," Viktor begged dryly. Jayce shook his head and shoved Viktor right back into his stall.

"I'm sorry," he responded in the same casual manner as Viktor had done right after he had blurted out Jayce's hiding spot earlier. As Viktor had feared, Jayce immediately reached for both his sides and tickled him. In a place like this.

"J-Jahayce nohoho! I sahahaid I'm sohorry!" Viktor heard himself laugh, and right here in the bathroom it was even more embarrassing. His laugh echoed through the room and combined with the feeling of getting tickled like this, Viktor already felt like surrendering.

The question was how one could surrender when Jayce was in a vengeful mood like this.

"I know you're sorry. I said I'm sorry too, right?" Jayce said, but they were meaningless words just to tease Viktor further. Viktor stumbled back and returned to his toilet seat, this time with force. He tried to get back up, but Jayce tickled him and Viktor just collapsed. He couldn't help it.

"What's wrong, Viktor? Are you ticklish?" Jayce asked as if he hadn't tickled him many times before.

Jayce was ticklish too, Viktor knew that. It was probably the thing he got confronted with earlier by Vi, or simply a wrestling match, but Viktor knew a tickle war was plausible. He knew at least Caitlyn would tickle Jayce from time to time too. If they could do itー

"Nu-uh, no you don't," Jayce sang the moment Viktor tried to retaliate. Catching his arm and pinning it above his head, Jayce tickled Viktor's vulnerable armpit and invited him to laugh to his fullest. There really was no choice but to drown the both of them in his loud, echoing laughter.

"JAhahayce! Ahhahha wahahait- not hehehere!"

"Not here, hm? And that while it tickles so much?" Jayce teased, tickling Viktor's armpit even more. It wasn't what Viktor actually meant. He tried to make it clear that this was still a public bathroom. If someone of the council would walk in on this, it was going to be embarrassing. But Jayce didn't give him any chance to say it.

"Heehehehe! I'm sohohorry! Noooo!" Viktor whined, turning and twisting. Here in this tiny stall, with him sitting while Jayce was looming over him, Viktor felt more trapped than ever, and it was flustering as hell.

"You're sorry? Right, I remember that. What were you sorry for, again?" Jayce asked. Viktor tried to flail his free arm, but it got caught as well and pinned together with his other. Now fully exposed and vulnerable, he could only squeal and shake with hysterical laughter as his lover attacked his helpless ribs and underarms with rapid tickles.

"Fohoohoor- ahahaah! Noooahahaa!" Viktor could barely speak. "F-foraahaha!" He really tried!

"Hmm. Can't understand you," Jayce said. Oh the tease. Viktor shook his head and squirmed weakly. His cheeks and whole body were burning, his heart racing, ahh. It felt as good as he remembered. Eh, bad. Bad of course.

Viktor never got to finish his apology. Jayce tickled him until he couldn't breathe. He would've called his accidental betrayal an accident, a mere slip up, but Jayce tickled him as if he had committed a crime, and Viktor couldn't help but feel ashamed for how much he enjoyed to experience this side of his partner.

When the tickling finally stopped, they were doing something even riskier. Their lips brushed against each other's and Jayce awkwardly bent forward to deepen the kiss even more.

Viktor would've gotten up if he could, but the strength in his legs was all gone. Instead, he pulled Jayce further down to kiss him more, almost making him fall forward.

Knowing it was a miracle they hadn't been disturbed yet, Jayce did keep this kiss short though, and before moving back he mumbled in Viktor's ear: "If you want to play more hide and seek, we can try again later."

He winked, and then with also a visible blush on his face, quickly left. Viktor rubbed his lips and lowered his head.

"Jayce," he breathed out. His body was burning with desire, excitement and more, and he felt his legs stagger a bit as he got back on his feet.

He was aware that wasn't just an invitation to play hide and seek, and Viktor found himself wanting to rush quickly into their room and accept the challenge. But eventually he returned to the lab where Jayce was as well. They exchanged smiles that were somewhat fond and shy before they resumed their work.

Right, no matter how much they longed for games, love, and each other, there was always some work coming in between. But that didn't mean they couldn't play later. Viktor already looked forward to it.

[skyrim-forever]

So doing the baby meme thing got me thinking. What if Ondolemar found out Theodora was pregnant with his child while they were still seeing each other in Markarth? Just woke up one morning threw up beside his bed, she goes to Whiterun to get checked and BAM lil baby Arthano making an appearance in her tummy early! Because you know he was just so excited about popping his head out. Totally ready to be the next Arena champion. What kind of drama would ensue? Would Theodora even tell Ondolemar about it, given their current roles? How would Ondolemar feel sitting in his office or pacing Understone Keep knowing that Theodora was out there carrying his child? I NEED THE GOSSIP!!

Hi friend <3 Thank you so much for this ask this is a really interesting question. Unfortunately I can't see a scenario in which they would keep the baby because there are two ways it could happen.

Earlier on before they admit their feelings, if Theodora found out she would have a ~~fantasy abortion~~ and not tell him. They aren't in a relationship, owe each other nothing so it would be an "oops!" and then she'd be super careful. As their feelings came out she would tell him and he'd be very practical about it. That was the reasonable solution to falling pregnant in this type of arrangement. No hard feelings on his end.

It would happen after they had their love confession in Windhelm (chapter 1 is out here hehe shameless plug) in which case it would be the same outcome. This time done for the fact their isn't really any other option, she's got to fight Alduin, he has his duties. As long as she has to be in Skyrim she wouldn't be able to hide it, and then once its here, what do they do?

I was inspired to write this second scenario as that will explain it better. Under cut because sad :( and long this is 1100 OOPS

Ondolemar made it a point to work now, try to get something done while he still could. His love had scarcely eaten last night and was sprung from the bed early this morning with some foul sickness, retching into what she could find. The empty barrel had been something he meant to get rid of anyways. Theodora left to go see the Alchemist in town in hopes she could provide her answer as to what was afflicting her. She suspected some sort of stomach flu and if that was the case, he would likely come down with it too. Best work now until she returns with more information. 

Once she is gone for more than an hour he begins to worry. Running through his mind are fears it could be something more serious, something contracted on the road, an internal injury as she insisted on healing herself whenever possible; the fact they both drank heavily was not helping. The woman drank to be drunk where as he consumed casually throughout the day, it felt a bit better even if in reality it was comparable. As it’s nearing hour two, she comes back to him. Abandoning his work, he walks over to her, speaking just after the dwarven doors close. 

“You were gone for longer than I anticipated, I trust she found something? Are you going to be alright?” Her hands extend and he welcomes them gladly, trying to pull her in closer but she stays standing on her own. 

“I also wasn’t expecting to be gone that long either, but the alchemist has a strong suspicion.”

“That is good, what does she think? I hope it is not Bone Break Fever, absolutely a nasty disease that is. Do you feel weak?” She smiles meekly.

“A bit but that’s not it.” Noticeably her eyes fall to the floor. “I won’t know for certain until I speak with the healer, Danica Pure-Spring at the Temple in Whiterun but…” All the way to Whiterun what could possibly require such a trip? Any ideas as to what could be that serious are interrupted with the reveal. “I may be pregnant.” Oh. “And if I am then I will also take care of that at the Temple as well.” 

Ondolemar did not mean to be silent for so long, regretting that he retreated inward to grapple with this information rather than immediately comfort her. Regretting even more now that she apologizes.

“I’m sorry, normally I’m very good about-” He remedies the silence by bringing her to his chest, no resistance from her as she falls against him. Hand rubbing her back and the other smoothing her hair, he speaks. 

“No no, you have nothing to be sorry for, famously it cannot be done alone.” A weak attempt at humour but she does laugh, before the sobbing begins; anguished like he’s never heard her before. Hoping to never hear it again. Knowing there's nothing he can say at this moment, the intensity can not be healed with words, demanding to be felt, that is what he does. Let her cry against him until she can muster the words, chastising herself in anger now.

“Fuck, why am I crying? I’ve never considered having children before so why does it matter? Why do I feel so…” The question ends abruptly with another wail. 

He had thought of having a family someday, long ago  when he was much younger. The plan had been to throw himself into work, advance the family’s standing, then and only then would he let his mother work with the matchmaker and get on with the decades long progress to get married as an Altmer. But there was always more work to do, longer hours, more travel. Before he knew it the decades slipped by, casual relationships here and there but never entering into the formal process of courtship. Mostly with other agents, they were who he was around the most and thus were deeply familiar with the strict schedules under the Dominion. Seeing his sister wed had made him content, she found a nice, respectable man from a scholarly family in Skywatch. There were times he tried to rationalize with himself it was for the best. Whether or not he enjoyed it aside, he was a soldier first and foremost, the nature of a soldier is to be sent far from home. No point in having a family if he would not be able to see them, nor would he ask her to keep it as she was making the logical choice. There is her fated battle on the horizon, the matter of his position, as well as the purges conducted where there was higher density of mixed man-mer ancestry. What would he ask her, doom yourself to a life of hiding and single motherhood as he cannot follow because he loves her? Because sometimes he did imagine leaving his post, finding some way to flee from the Thalmor’s gasp and shed that which he cannot entirely believe. Tempted to do it even as he wished they lived in a better world and is curious if she has had similar thoughts. 

His thumbs gently wipe away her tears, as best he can, while cradling her face. 

“It is a serious situation, Theodora. You’re having a normal reaction regardless, let alone under our circumstances.” She nods and he places a kiss on her forehead, before gauging the situation.

“Do you want to keep it?”

“It’s not a matter of if either of us wants to, we can’t. Even if I could hide it the whole time, fight Alduin and manage to survive despite being who knows how pregnant,” A pained sigh as she is blunt with him on something which he knows to be true. “And unless it comes out looking identical to me, I’ll only be able to lie so much. Questions would be asked, Ondolemar. Nevermind if I tried to bring them around you in any capacity, how soon would it take someone to put things together, how fast would the hammer slam down on you?” Gods, she is right but that doesn’t stop the sting.

“I know, I know.” Leaning down for another kiss on her forehead, hands instead wrapping around her torso in a loose grip as she rests her head tilting upwards, clear view of the redness sin her eyes and the change in her skin tone. Red and puffing from the mental ache.

“If I were to have children though I’d want you to be their father.”

“They could have no one better as a mother than you.”

“I love you, Ondolemar.”

“And I love you, Theodora.”

[grammarpedant]

Crashes in here, hi this is my main blog and I just saw the tags you left on my art of Miki and the CombatBot and I'm going just a little insane over them. I've been thinking of a fic from Miki's POV for Rogue Protocol for a while and while I don't think I have the skill to pull that off I am SO EXCITED to see that someone else has had the same thought!!! Urg... I just love Miki so so much and seeing how the events unfold from its POV would be so interesting.

I think I gotta go draw Miki some more now hehe. Good luck with writing!!

(the Miki art in question)

Hehe, right? Miki is SUCH a character full of so many hidden depths and surprises, greatest of all is that it's also exactly what it looks like on the surface, in full sincerity: a sweet, kind person of a bot that cared very deeply about its friends and wanted to be able to count Murderbot among them. It also deliberately obfuscates the truth from Murderbot and from Don Abene alike on multiple occasions, it seems to sense what MB means and feels through the feed almost better than MB itself, it's a science bot with visual magnification abilities beyond MB's, when it's stressed and pressed for time it stops trying to talk like a human and goes back to its native code language; Miki has in-jokes with its human friends, but I never had a friend like me. And that's just random stuff I pulled from skimming the book looking for something else! Miki is just such a fascinating character!!

And in this fandom we just LOVE our outsider POVs, haha. I'm sure others have done or tried to do Miki POV of the book before, but I'm gonna use this moment as an opportunity to gush about the thing I want to write- I left the tags that I did because what came to me first was the bit leading up to the same scene you've depicted, the tragic beauty of Miki choosing the trajectory that it did. I have a heartwrenching final scene of Miki's POV in those moments that I absolutely cannot show anyone, not least because the scene simply will not hit as hard as it could unless I actually lay the groundwork that would give it a real punch.

Miki would be about (is about) self-determination, right, obviously. But the Miki POV I want to write would also be about a character caught between connection and alienation, a bot among humans and all that entails. —People love and protect Miki, yes, but do they understand it? Don Abene loved it, and Miki loved her too, and what about all the times they struggled to understand each other? The work that it takes to overcome miscommunication? How does Miki feel, knowing that there are some experiences it just cannot share with its human friends, nor they with it? Do they understand each other regardless? Does anybody ever really understand another person? —Miki has a way of talking that's a little clipped and which may seem "childish" to a reader at first glance; given that in times of stress it defaults back to a nonverbal-to-humans mode of bot communication, might we draw parallels between it and the semiverbal disabled experience? —For perhaps the first time in its life Miki met someone who could understand it reflexively, instinctively, empathize with its machinic experiences almost effortlessly. How does it understand this person's refusal to accept the vulnerability of connection? Does Miki understand Murderbot, and if so how much? In what ways?

Those are the themes I'd want to pull at, and to do so I'd use the motifs of Miki's scientific research function. Its literal ability to perceive the world differently from both humans and from MB, its framing of the world through numbers and measurement and factoids and analysis that is nevertheless beautiful to it, even when it struggles to put that beauty to human words. Names. Identity. Choice and free will. Emotion and connection. What Miki was thinking when it looked at MB's camera at the nebula storm and said, Pretty! The jokes and media and little moments it shares with Don Abene. The love and happiness that made it so secure in itself. If I could just get through the groundwork of it all... it would be beautiful. At least as beautiful as the art you drew.

Anyway, I hope you keep drawing Miki, friend! The art you did has already inspired me a bit more 🥰

[ellenent]

all rosalinas I did in november!

[14dayswithyou]

💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖

For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!

The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^

What's been added to the 3.5 version?

📺 Streamer Mode!

I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.

Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh

This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!

⚙️ Custom Pronouns!

It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;

Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!

💗 Choose how others perceive you!

You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.

For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!

📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!

You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3

Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!

I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;

I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao

📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!

You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!

Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!

I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;

It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)

🖤 Additional Scenes Update!

Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!

If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.

After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga

🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!

I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!

I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.

Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.

How to download and play the update?

(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!

Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)

Enjoy!!

[seiwas]

sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe

so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?

:3c

heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3

contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars

deku + light

izuku only sleeps with the lights off.

it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.

you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.

he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.

and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.

the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.

he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.

"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"

he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.

"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."

you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."

"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.

you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.

sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.

on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.

you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.

"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.

"hm?" he clarifies.

"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"

his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.

"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"

"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.

finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—

you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.

—what was hard, was figuring out why.

at first, you suspected it was his scars.

"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."

you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.

when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.

it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.

you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.

he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.

there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.

“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.

he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.

“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.

“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”

“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but…” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.

you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.

“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.

it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.

he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."

"it's not."

you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.

"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."

[gomzreblogfr]

Happy Birthday to Raven too

[ryllen]

Look what came through the mail today! The letters & ( •̀ω•́ )σ 3 little gremlins from letterstoear.

Just wanna say i adore the flower stickers on the letters too much, they are that much worth mentioning.

[thedeadthree]

𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐆𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐄𝐈𝐋𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃 ➸ irulanne . the rook .

𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒 . 𝐄𝐋𝐅 . 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐄 .

-`. template by @kanos . coloring . icons .

✧ ― 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 (ask to be added or removed or interact 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞!!):

@pavus, @wlwaerith, @shadowsofrose, @grapecaseschoices, @nokstella

@queennymeria, @risingsh0t, @carrionsflower, @leviiackrman, @griffin-wood

@confidentandgood, @aceghosts, @tommyarashikage, @shadowglens, @yharnams

@anoras, @theelderhazelnut, @florbelles, @celticwoman, @pinkfey

@kyberinfinitygems, @cloudofbutterflies92, @carlosoliveiraa, @shellibisshe, @adelaidedrubman

@lavampira, @capelizabeth, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @statichvm, @unholymilf

@aezyrraeshh, @imogenkol, @aceghosts, @full---ofstarlight, @ellierenae

[sysig]

Softly, slowly, I want to love you anyway (Patreon)

[vargaslovinghours]

And never let you go ♥

Bonus without the overspill lighting:

[xxplastic-cubexx]

re: your magneto wip: god, you got his hair the PERFECT length in that one. hope you’re gonna post the finished version?

and his nose?? they could never get me off that no— *gunshots*

THATS WHAT I MEAN i fear ill never drop a better mags than that one …… and dont worry my friend, the full piece(s) will be posted in due time ;]

Also PLEASEE control yourself dnOOSJAKSN

[wewerebornsextuplets]

@girlymatsu ive been unable to stop thinking about these three being friends since you mentioned it, so i hope you dont mind that i drew out a few ideas ^^;!!

[inkykeiji]

clari!! idk if you've seen the card but theres one where caleb's like 'why dont you ask me who kept me up all night? are you worried it was you or are you scared it wasnt you?' before he corners mc and i cant stop thinking about it i need him

yes!! i have it!!! i LOVED the tension in that card so, so much. i also love how unbelievably rough caleb is. he really does feel like the type to not realize just how strong he truly is, and to accidentally hurt you more often than he intends to. he’s so big, and although he can move gracefully and swiftly, he still moves powerfully, with strength and vigour and all the brawn of a bull.

but anyway!!! that card made me start writing something with caleb in a kitchen LMAOOOOOO (つω⊂* ) i can’t lie, it reminded me of touya-nii. it reminded me of touya-nii a lot, especially in the beginning stages of his relationship with reader when he oscillates between being very teasing and very aggressive.

[moonchild-in-blue]

I haven't really done much art for tumblr (at all) lately, cus life, but! Here's a lil something I've been working on (it's a Xmas gift) 💙

(also peep that lil January calendar painting 👀 i did mini squares for each month for myself, because I need to have a physical one always, and they each have their own colour 🥺)