#but for me it's just silly like i laugh when i see one. hehehe funny meat noodle

[bluebeads-art]

2024 November 21st

INTO THE LAKE WITH YOU, MUD CHILD

My part of a retroactive art trade with @anxiousapplepie ! "Retroactive" because I was already drawing this before we agreed to make it part of a trade, heheh.

I read this post about their Role!Swap AU, and, like, multiverse shenanigans? Check. Characters goofing off and having fun? Check. Several opportunities for slapstick humor? Check. Conclusion: I really wanted to draw it. Physical comedy is my specialty. :p

This thing is kinda all over the place composition wise (looking at you, relative sizes of speech bubbles) because there is Too Much going on in these panels and I Did Not plan ahead of time, lmao. This was supposed to be doodlier than it ended up being, so as a growing pain it's a funny jumble of consistency. One of these days I'll be able to doodle without getting carried away. 😂

More rambling and close-ups under the cut

This interaction in particular is what nudged me over the edge to draw this whole thing. I don't know what Fighter Mirabelle's malfunction is when it comes to the Siffrins, but it lets me make Sif the butt of a joke again, so yeehaw! His hat being catapulted out of frame made me laugh when I was thinking of what to do with the composition-complicating hat in question.

Also my personal take is Siffrin is 100% having the time of their life here. Making new(?) friends? Being involved in a fun group activity? Well worth inhaling some puddle water and having to go jump in The Lake to wash the mud off later.

Bonnie being so furious they changed art styles wasn't in my original plan, but I'm so glad I thought of it on a whim because it made me laugh Every Time I looked at their face. 😂

Time taken on this whole thing was 42 hours and 50 minutes. AND. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS BAD. IF YOU KNOW I'M TRYING TO SPEED UP MY ART PROCESS. But this project gets a special pass. This was the farthest out of my art comfort zone I've been in a while! 13 (mostly) full-body characters at various complicated angles, 2 backgrounds, learning to use CSP's perspective rulers, effects I'm not used to like water splashes, etc etc. I made progress on speeding up sketching & line art as well! Some of the lines you see are just extremely cleaned up sketch. I was able to let myself fudge things more too. For example, Mira's dress is a very "dude just trust me" simplification because I don't know how the clothes folds would work at that angle. ^^;;

So while there's still a handful of things I'm not happy with, it's worth it for the learning experience and perfectionism-busting progress! Also for the sake of drawing silliness, of course.

Oh, lastly; the KO sprite is the one from in-game, so it was made by insertdisc5 and not me.

[sunlitmcgee]

Gonna say something taht might get me swarmed by radfems but truth be fucking told, the penis and genitals in general are like. the least upsetting part of being assaulted by a cis guy with a dick. Like I am gonna be really honest out of all the stuff I've had to work and undo, fear of penis is very low on the scale of stuff that was fucked up afterwards. like it's a meat stick. it's . it's far from the worst part of the experience

[russsiangirl]

art donaldson x reader headcanons ( both young and dilf art.. ) both banners by me!

starting off strong with young art ( heheh )

i feel like y'all met for a goofy reason

either he asked you for a piece of gum in a class because he ran out

that boy NEEDS his gum he can't live without it ( oral fixation? idk )

OR he saw you on the tennis court when you were meeting up with a friend of yours

you had heard of him of course, he had won the one tournament with his friend

but,, he sadly had his eyes on tashi duncan, not that you could exactly blame him, you've seen her - all lean muscle and tan skin.

that is until tashi starts dating patrick

he's kinda like a kicked puppy , a very jealous one

he's desperate to get his mind off of them, so he finds you

you're perfect for him, you're sweet, pretty, kind. but you're also pliable.

art's seen the way you'd look at him with those pretty eyes when he asked you a question, the way you would slightly stumble over your words

he would wanna laugh sometimes, not in a mean way, more of a 'how cute..' kinda way, yk?

he's a mastermind,, maybe manipulative but that just makes it better

he taps your shoulder one day and is like "hey so would you like,, wanna go out sometime?"

now you thought that he was just gonna ask for help with the assignment, but this- this was unexpected, but good. really good.

you obviously say yes & it goes great! after a couple dates you two start something that resembles a relationship

art is a sweetheart, buying you gifts, treating you to dinner when he can, taking you to his games - model boyfriend!

he loves being romantic and spending quality time with you

also double dates with tashi & patrick ( tension )

you notice the way patrick looks at art and you suspect something. had something happened between them?

you had heard about how tightly-knit the two of them were and something just didn't seem right

so after the date and you two go back to the dorm or wherever y'all are staying you ask him what was up with him and patrick

art shuts down, not saying anything and goes completely silent.

he's not one to talk about things like these or his past

art likes to talk as much as he loves to listen

like if you found a new interest and/or hyperfixation he would listen to you and find so endearing

he loves the way you get so excited and you just beam at him whenever you do something that makes you happy, it makes him just as equally happy

art also loves when you wear his clothes, he finds it funny how they drape over you since he's like six foot.

art does like being praised ( take that as you will ) but when you're reassuring him, especially after his games or practice or anything he just wants to shower you with all the affection he can muster <3

this is my late fathers day present to y'all.. enjoy

ah yes, art as a father, my favorite

he's not married at this point ( sadly no tashi, they got divorced )

he's a lot more tired than he was back in college, obviously

y'all definitely met at some sort of event, you were a reporter for a sports magazine who had sent you to cover whatever it was that you were there for

you just didn't know it would involve art

when you first see him, you didn't really know what to expect - but not this

art with his short-cropped sandy hair and pretty blue eyes and blonde lashes, he looks ethereal, almost like he doesn't belong here

he was distracted most of the interview, too distracted by you with your sweet voice and nice hands and silly questions

so you two rescheduled, over dinner! win-win, you get to spend more time with him and you get your job done

the two of you connect really easily and you agree to do this again, without the interview part

there's something about the two of you thats so entrancing to each other

IMAGINE WITH AN AGE DIFFERENCE

like you're 21 - 22 and he's like 32.. it only makes him crave you more, he can show you things you've never seen

you might be a bit skeptical, but art is telling you that you can trust him, he won't push boundaries, none of that and you do trust him

he does let you meet lily eventually and when you do, you're enamored with her, she's so sweet and you could see art in her

you knew about his past relationship with tashi, but you didn't mind

but older!art is also romantic, sure the paparazzi is interested in the two of you - so most of the dates are at home. he likes it better that way

ough,, this was a LOT - late father's day present yk.. i love you guys - enjoy this! like and follow if you enjoyed these hehe

[faunandfloraas]

Okay so!! Im back now and its journal entry time. highlights of dominATE sydney, in no particular order:

Chan starting the show by stealing the joke from the reporter from the project by being like we're straya kids hehehe

Lee know not really introducing himself but rather just chanting OI OI OI immediately (he continued this the rest of the night

Seungmin started the night by singing SYDNEYYYYY very passionatly and kept adlibbing Sydney into so mang songs for the rest of the night. My fave being "Cause stuff it all cuz I'm gonna go SYDNAYYY"

Han at one point was suddenly laying on the floor being all silly and then chan feigned stomping him ?? And my brother was like HUH lmao

Lee know kept feeling up Changbin (understandable) he also gave changbin the mic during lee knows part, so he had to sing them 🩷

Chan FINALLY saying fuck /into the mic/ after 150 years of me talking shit 🫶

The dad in front of me who honestly seemed more into the show than his teenage kids, perhaps helped by the fact he was smashing back beers- could hear him passionately trying to keep up with Han rapping at one point so automatically I respect him

The girl behind me who went CHANGBIN really deep and evil when she thought it was time for his solo but it was not in fact LMAO

Saw Hannah bahng! Saw Mr and Mrs Bang. They were very smiley, it was cute!

I got to see chan annoy seungmin briefly <3 with my own eyes 🥰

AUSSIE BOY HWANG HYUNJIN!! SYDNEY BOY HWANG HYUNJIN

Innie walked in front of the camera slightly ruining a hyunjin and han lil gay moment and made > :0 this face before ducking. Also him being all My stage Ahhh sexy 😇

Just any and all changbin.

Lee know and seungmins vocal lesson were really on display bc they Made Sure you could hear their voices over the music and I loved every second!

Chan railway was truly An Experience. He had me enthralled. He had my bro enthralled. He had the drunk dad enthralled.

Seungmin thanking chans dad for food LMAO

Hyunjins repeated winks at the camera being met with ungodly roars was totally expected and yet I roared along. Fanservice king if im honest.

Felix and chan being lil gronks together was so funny.... so good. I love them....

They faked it was the end and people did get up to go but I was like NUH UH seungmin was not the last one on that stage they're coming back!! And I was RIGHT and when they did end he was the last one and he ended the night with an evil cackle and it only cemented my love more 🫶

Lee know happy birthday!! Not to be a gay lil thing but I was so happy we got to sing it for him! And confuse him and hyunjin with the HIP HIP HOORAY also im p sure chan thinks its HIP IP lol

I also saw him eat shit and slip a lil which was funny, right at the end of the show.

Also lee know lifted seungmins arm in the air at the end this time! Not the other way around!! He did that for me, I think. Also put his arm around his shoulders- so 🫶 I got chan and seungmin and lee know and seungmin 🫶 my fellas 🫶

All in all it was so fun and the band was amazing too, the light show... such a good night.

And Bang Chan. Well. I love him. Lol. I really kinda do tho. He said I'm chris from Sydney and I was like Yeah! you are!! Idk. Everyone was amazing but he was the main event, maybe bc he's the sydney boy... also the fan event at the end was a sweet little animation and he was the prince and it made me laugh bc I do keep saying he's the crown prince of Sydney.... he's honestly really someone I think I'm quite happy to see representing us on such a big world stage, bc he does really seem to have such a big heart and a lot of love- idk. Christopher Bang. What a fella. His smile is truly like a beam and he was so happy and every time he was smiling, I was smiling, too. I hope he feels proud tonight, lol.

And I still wanna bite seungmin on the cheek 🫶 Suffice to say- best concert to break my many years no concert streak with 🩷 it was a lovely night.

Also felix went from being bone dry to soaked head to toe in about 3 seconds when I wasn't looking 😭

[try-set-me-on-fire]

‘you could say I’m fond of you.’ for the soft prompt 👀👀👀

@leothil also asked for this one! Send me soft fic prompts! Here’s the rest of the fills on ao3!

"You could say I'm fond of you," Buck says, head tilted almost sideways, the sort of twinkle in his eyes that Eddie always worried might prove fatal one day for the way it makes his heart squeeze in his chest.

"You could say that, huh?" He crosses his arms, mouth curving upward unbidden. He’s pretty sure Buck is actually saying “hehehe” as he leans forward, giggling, to kiss Eddie’s cheek. Eddie snorts and dodges the attempt, which just causes Buck to follow, until they’re chasing each other in dizzy little circles between the sink and the table. Buck catches him with an arm thrown around his waist, and plants a big wet kiss sort of on his cheek but mostly hitting nose and eye. Eddie laughs in a way that still surprises him, sometimes - a helplessly open thing, so much joy in his body that he has no reason or care to hide.

“Ahem.”

Well, maybe some reason. Maddie stands in the entryway to the kitchen with the squiggly kind of smile someone trying not to. Buck and Eddie are gently frozen around each other, no survival instinct to spring away and avoid capture.

Maddie holds out a hand. “Chim says you owe the PDA jar.”

Eddie makes an indignant sound as Buck throws back his head with a shout of laughter and then, terrible coward, flees the room.

“Nobody was in here! We’re not even at work! This is my house!” Eddie protests even as he digs to find his wallet.

Maddie puts a finger up, reciting “If more than four members of the 118 including the two of you are present at a gathering it counts as a work functio-“

Eddie slaps cash in her hand. “I don’t like your husband very much.”

She grins at him, and then raises an eyebrow. “Two dollars? That seems kind of steep.”

“Inflation’s been brutal.”

She laughs, pocketing her ill gotten bounty. Eddie expects her to return to the party but she stalls there, a curious look in her eyes. Eddie feels suddenly nervous. He counts Maddie as a friend, and he’s pretty certain they’re going to be in laws one of these days, but they haven’t spoken one on one very often and her expression reminds him of the one his own sisters would get when they were about to make his life a little more difficult. He’s started self consciously pretending to rearrange finger sandwiches when she speaks.

“It’s nice to see you being goofy.” When he huffs out a startled laugh she grins and tilts her head, so like her brother. “Evan- Buck is always goofy, no surprise there. But you’re… Funny, certainly, you’re sarcastic, but it’s nice seeing you be silly, Eddie.” She’s so sincere it makes Eddie duck his head, just a little. “You seem really happy. And you make Buck so happy.”

Eddie exhales more than laughs, a quick little sound of awed half-belief. It’s true, he knows it is. It hollows him out completely some days, looking at Buck and seeing such easy elation on his face, and knowing he has some part in putting it there fills up his empty form with light, or champagne, or some other metaphor for love given shape. “I’m glad to,” he says softly. “That’s all I- I want to make him happy, for the rest of our lives. I’m… honestly, the happiest I’ve ever been, and it’s because I get to share it with him.”

Maddie’s smile gets all squished and watery. “I can see why they charge you so much for public displays of affection, you romantic.”

Eddie laughs outright, shaking his head. “It’s the coffee fund anyway, I’d still just be spending it on his ridiculous lattes. This is only an extra step.”

Maddie puts her hand on her hip, gleeful and incredulous. “Okay, even that was stupidly sweet. Do I have to charge you again?”

“Have mercy,” he says, putting his hands up. “I have no more cash.”

“You wanna go mug my brother for it?”

Eddie laughs, and picks up the sandwich tray to bring outside. “Come on, let's go sick Chris on him.”

Later, when Buck sprawls to the ground like a sack of bricks under the gentle force of Chris’s tackle, Eddie tells him to give over extra money to the jar.

“Why?” He grins, sweaty from the chase and smelling like fresh grass.

“Preemptive payment.” Eddie bends down and kisses him thoroughly, ignoring the wolf whistles and groans from the audience. He pulls back just slightly, holding his happiness with two hands, and kisses sort of Buck’s cheek, but mostly his nose and eye. “You could say I’m pretty fond of you, too.”

[allastoredeer]

~Lucifer blanches. He looks around, as if trying to find a sense of Alastor’s words somewhere in the trash-heap he calls a room, before rounding back to him, lips pulling up in disgust. “Are you asking me out?”

“Ahaha!” Alastor laughs, slapping him so hard on the back it nearly takes Lucifer off his feet. “Oh, Heavens no. I’m just proposing we let Hell continue thinking that you and I are,” he waves his hand, searching for the word, “in cahoots. In that way.”~

This is golden comedy right here. Honestly every time I read ur fic I always start wheezing so hard I can’t breathe, u are an amazing writer, hope u know that. When I saw ur last update on the ‘damage control’ chapter i was so excited i devoured it so fast help

Alastor saying he wants to be in ‘cahoots’ with Lucifer it’s so funny to me cause no one use that term anymore, and Lucifer is just downright dumbfounded that they are even having the conversation. I can imagine the shadow rolling his eyes at them, we need more sassy shadow moments, he is so underrated. 😭😭

I love that Lucifer is trying to respect Al boundaries, especially after the ‘incident’ , and doesn’t pry to much on his scars, but now I am curious about what did Al meant. Does he not remember who did that to him? 🥺

Also I am curious about what they gonna tell to the others about their new found relationship. I don’t think Lucifer would want to lie to Charlie, but I also think that it would be too risky to make the whole crew knew they are acting, someone might slip. And it’s not like Al is gonna make it easy for Lucy anyway. If they want to be credible, less ppl knowing it’s best course of action for me.

Last thing~ I really wanted to thank you, cause ur fic really brings me a lot of joy since I recently only been able to find happiness in small things like these , and I I can’t wait to read more🌈

Hehehe, Alastor purposefully refusing to go into depth about their "sexual relationship," and even side-stepping outright calling it a relationship, is what's going to make it all more entertaining when he actually has to commit to the bit. Cuz you see, they're not fucking. They're "in cahoots."

It's different.

(I love Alastor's Shadow being sassy. If it's attached to Alastor, it has to be. I take no critiques.)

😈 Alastor and his scars is something I'm very excited to get into it. I've been thinking about them for a while, and while it may take a bit to actually get the answer, I'm very eager to get there when we do.

The way I see it, Alastor doesn't want to tell the others (as they already know their not actually dating--as he made VERY clear last time), but Lucifer isn't going to be okay with lying to Charlie. Out of the group, Alastor knows he can trust Husk and Niffty to keep it a secret. Maybe Angel Dust too. But he's most worried about Charlie and Vaggie.

Vaggie isn't a good liar, and Charlie's such an open, bright, heart-on-her-sleeves person, he doesn't trust her to keep up the ruse without letting something slip--most likely by accident.

But Lucifer is stubborn. He doesn't want to lie to Charlie, and if he tells Charlie, Charlie is going to tell Vaggie. If Vaggie knows, well, we already know she has a hard time lying on the spot, so if the others see Alastor and Lucifer suddenly "in cahoots," and ask about it, she's not going to be able to come up with a plausible excuse on the fly.

This is all to say, the next installment is going to be full of silly Hazbin Crew hijinks, where Alastor is forcefully enrolled into Chaggies Dating 101 Crash Course, and he is definitely not setting the grading curve. (And maybe we'll even get a bit of HuskerDust thrown in there, who knows. Certainly not me).

And it warms me so much to know that my fic can bring you joy in a time that such things are scarce 🥺 I can't wait to share more of the story with you!

[manicplank]

DUDE

I JUST ADORE THE WAY U MAKE HEADCANONS FOR JOHN AND PIZZAHEAD

LIKE-

PIZZAHEAD IS SUCH A GOOFY CARTOONY DRAMAQUEEN (AND ALSO AN GENIUS-)

AND JOHN IS...JUST A BIT SILLY SOFTIE

ALSO..LAUGH HEADCANONS?

(i just saw one about John having a loud and deep laugh and I just explored-)

I love pizza tower fandom

:3

I feel like John is an underrated character.

Idk after finding all the treasures and resurrecting him, I kinda fell in love

(I also love this fandom. It's the least toxic I've ever encountered.)

Without further ado;

LAUGH HEADCANONS bare with me I'm not great with describing laughter

Peppino: Might do a tiny giggle or full on cackles. I don't see him happy enough, so I feel like he has a good sense of humor. (He's both hehehehehe and GAHAHAHAHAAAAA). Sometimes wheeze if you make him laugh hard enough.

Gustavo: Definitely chuckles. I feel like he has a jolly, goofy laugh. Probably laughs at silly little things. Tries to make Peppino laugh a lot. Brick makes him laugh quite a bit. (Huh huh huh huh huh!)

Mr. Stick: Definitely has a nasally cartoony laugh like he has in game. Has a broken sense of humor. Probably laughs at the funnies or cheesy jokes. (Nyeh heh heh heh!)

Pepperman: LOUD and obnoxious. I really like the laugh the v/a did in temorinki's video. Like Mr. Stick, he has a terrible sense of humor. Really likes Garfield comics, thinks they're hilarious. (HAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA!!!!)

The Vigilante: Old man laugh, you can still hear his accent through it. He doesn't laugh much, he's a super serious guy. Imagine an older, slower, western Seth Rogan laugh. (Gyeh heh heh heh!)

The Noise: Has many laughs. His true, authentic laugh is a bit nasally and interrupted by sudden gasps for air (HAHA *inhale* HAHAHAHA *inhale*). He might snicker or laugh through his nose. He might even full blown cackle. (KAA HA HA HAA HAA HAAAAA).

Noisette: Also has a couple laughs. She giggles more and will snort if you make her laugh hard enough (she gets super embarrassed about it). She also has a loud cackle when she finds something hysterical. (Hehehehehe *snort* hehehe! or HAAAHAHAHAAAAHAAAAAAA!)

Fake Peppino: His laugh isn't much of a laugh and more of sounds. The sounds he makes while laughing are more similar to the noises he makes in game but shorter. (Hmm! Hmmmm! Hmmmm! or GHAHSGHEJSJSA!)

Pizzaface: His is basically just the in game, maybe a few different pitches up when something is REALLY funny.

Pizzahead: Giggles or cackles. Loves laughing at people's misfortune, thinks Peppino's misery is HILARIOUS. His laugh is basically the one he has in game. (HA HA HA HA HA! or Tee he he he he!)

Pillar John: DEEP and throaty laughter. Very jolly guy. His laugh is loud enough to cause an earthquake. Also has a very monkey-like laugh like the one he has in game. (GAHAHAHAHA!! or OHH HOO HOO HOO)

Gerome: Doesn't laugh much, but his laugh is kind of like John's; deep and jolly. He might give a small "heh..." here and there, but when he laughs, he laughs HARD. (GAAAAHAAAAAHAAAHAAAA!!!)

[panelshowsource]

hi, sarah! i see you've watched a lot of british panel shows/comedians and i need a specific recommendation: where to start with dara o briain? he's right now my favourite taskmaster contestant ever and after listening to his episodes on the tm podcast and off menu, and watching him on wilty, i'm completely in love with his humor and manner of speech. what are the "must see" things he's done in the past? he's such a prominent figure in british tv but idk how to choose what to watch next

i have watched a lot of panel shows...you got that right hehehe...

i'm happy for you that you found someone you really like and get to explore a lot of new content! i gotta say, that doesn't happen often for someone quite so famous and prolific like dara, so it's fun for me to think back to all the stuff he's been in :')

he's a comedian, but he's also known for being mr big smarty pants, so he's done a lot of comedy programmes as well as smarty pants programmes & documentaries. you may choose to start in one of these distinct directions if there's a side of dara you like best! let me start with a few of my own faves...

he's probably best known — definitely by my followers, but also in general — for being the long-time host of the news-focused panel show mock the week, which JUST ended after 17 years. of the panel shows about news, of which there are many, this one is the most accessible and the most silly. dara is a GREAT host and has hilarious dynamics with the regular panelists, especially his literal best friend ed byrne (who we heavily stan). in fact, on mtw, you'll also see lots of other taskmaster contestants you may recognise, including panel captain and cult fave hugh dennis, frankie boyle, russell howard, and ed gamble. i know 17 years is A LOT, so if you've never seen the show and aren't sure where to start, i'm gonna recommend you give series 15 a go — as a new-er panel show fan, i think a more recent season like this one will be most accessible. also, this compilation of comedians roasting dara on mtw for half an hour is fucking hilarious lmaooo

dara has been on tons of panel shows as a panelist opposed to hosting, and you'd be amiss not to catch up on him on qi! one of stephen's smart lil boys and a clever laugh, he was made for that show. you can find dara's episodes here and i have all of qi linked on the masterpost! if you've never seen qi here's a silly clip that is mostly sean being one of stephen's naughty lil boys but it's a great example of the learning a lot/learning absolutely nothing dichotomy that can happen with a great panel (including dara!!)!

apart from that, i'd highly recommend you watch his stand-up! i put two specials on drive for you, 2012's craic dealer and 2015's crowd tickler (sorry for the mid quality — they're just dvd rips). these are pretty perfect for blossoming dara fans because they're funny, witty, clever, goofy — all the things we love about dara at once!!

as for my final personal recommendation, you should definitely check out dara & ed's great big adventure, a bbc two miniseries where the besties travel along the pan-american highway! they have top-tier wholesome bantz, ed is very fucking goofy (you will find quickly that being a fan of dara is being a fan of ed hahaha), and they explore some very beautiful cultures. i will work on getting decent rips of the show for my drive, but in the meantime you can watch this on dailymotion!

it would be amiss if i ended the recs here, because dara has hosted a lot of different series — but these series are based around very specific interests of his. some of the big ones include the following: go 8 bit, one of his most recent shows about classic and indie video games, very nostalgic with fun guests; science club (if you need full eps of this lmk, i should be able to get them but it will just take a lil time) and school of hard sums, nerds talking about science and maths, def have qi vibes; and the underrated stargazing live, broadcast every winter and when dr brian cox & our fave amateur astronomer mr ó briain talk about stars and shit! these are less necessary watching and more worth watching if the topics tickle your fancies~

okay i hope that helps!! there is obviously so much more to his career — including his many books — but i think this is overwhelming enough and i hope you don't mind the long post! feel free to catch us up on what you're enjoying down the line, we love dara and hearing what others love about him too :')

[valoisfulcanellideux]

Transcribed highlights from Pix and Zloy's "Chicken Block" series [Ep.1 & Ep.2]

Since I've been re-watching this hilarious series, I thought I'd transcribe some of the highlights, because these two are just so damn good together. Funny stuff from episodes 1 and 2 can be found behind the cut.

Ep.1

Zloy: [sings, to the melody of the 'Transformers' theme] "Log chicken. Chicken who's a log."

-

Zloy: "I'll need you to surround me in a pen with them [the chickens]. Don't worry, I'll blend in." [looks like this, so yeah... he will]

-

Pix: "I like the fact that you've just committed to your life in this new chicken commune now." Zloy: "Look, I have a boat. I can escape whenever I want." Pix: "That sounds like what somebody with Stockholm Syndrome would say." Zloy: "This is the prison of my own making!"

-

Zloy: "Hey! Hey, look! It's our first log that was pooped by a chicken!" Pix: "Nice! Can we call them organic now? Is that what we're allowed to—" Zloy: "Pixlriffs, ALL logs are organic." Pix: [laughs] "Responsibly farmed!" Zloy: "Show me… show me a single log that would not be an organic one." [giggles] Pix: "I wanna make some kind of, like, pithy remark about fossilised wood at this point, but I dunno." Zloy: "Fossilised wood would also be organic! Because guess what? It was still grown as wood. In a tree." Pix: [laughs] "This is a fair point. I concede."

-

Pix: "I can't tell if these logs inside this enclosure were pooped out by a chicken, or if they are just… logs that fell from this tree." Zloy: "I wanna say it's probably a community effort."

-

Zloy: "Oh! There's a skeleton! There's a skeleton! There's a skeleton! And it—" Pix: "Oh no…" [skeleton self-yeets off the one-block-wide bridge from the mob-spawning platform] Pix: [loses it] Zloy: "DID YOU SEE THAT?!" Pix: [loses it some more] "It just went! It was like 'Nope! Can't be bothered with you!' It saw you riding a chicken towards it, crown upon your head, glasses on your face, and decided, 'I'm not gonna mess with that guy'."

-

Pix: "One other thing I will always appreciate about Bedrock Edition over Java is the fact that the sky darkens around you when you're looking directly at the sun, because of how bright the sun should be. It's, like, the one lighting effect that actually makes sense in this version of the game." Zloy: "Also, the eyes don't start bleeding, but that's an… entirely different thing." Pix: "Yes. That's an add-on that I imagine people could make." Zloy: "You look up and there's the Rick and Morty sun, screaming."

-

Zloy: [to stream chat, as he looks at the assorted chickens] "Okay. Anyone want to give me a breeding pair?" [pause] Zloy: "Anyone who says 'Zloy and Pixlriffs' will be banned from every single channel on Twitch."

-

[Pix goes out toward the mob spawning platform with a sword] Zloy: "You don't have to wait between the swings." Pix: "I know, I know." Zloy: [giggles] "Hehe. Silly Java players! Hehehe!"

-

Ep.2

Pix: "I have coal!" Zloy: "YAY! Pix: "I have coal. Can make torch. Will make torch now."

-

Pix: [having farmed a bunch of wood] "The log chicken just gave me another log, as if to say, 'Why are you even bothering?' [addresses the chicken] I'm bothering 'cause you're not productive." Zloy: "Pick up the speed. Clench your… whatever muscles you're using." Pix: "Tighten your buttcheeks!" Zloy: "Yep. Push, lady. [pause] Don't actually push ladies."

-

Pix: "There is now a zombie with a gold hat who seems to be… okay, there are two of them; they seemed to have claimed the ship." Zloy: "They boarded the ship!" Pix: "We've been boarded." Zloy: "Oh noes." Pix: [grabs a sword] "I'm gonna go and defend us. I have lost the ability to sprint, though, so I'm not exactly charging into battle, but…" [walks toward the zombies] "GET OFF MY SHIP, YOU DINGUS!" Zloy: [giggles] Pix: "Oh hey, he dropped his hat! Yay! I have armour." Zloy: "You have a crown." Pix: "You have your crown, I have my crown." Zloy: "The matching attire." Pix: "It gives me Fire Protection 1, as if that's even an issue." Zloy: "MINE GIVES ME DIGNITY, DARN IT!" Pix: "I have no dignity."

-

Zloy: "Hey look! A spider." Pix: [laughs] "It's a string chicken." [they both laugh] Pix: "After a while everything on this map just becomes a chicken to me."

-

Pix: "I spawned with you in the cauldron. Which looks even more soupy now that it's filled with rainwater." Zloy: "Exactly! We're gonna be delicious!"

-

Pix: "Every time the honey dripping sound happens, I just feel like it's slime. I'm like, has a slime just spawned? Nope. It's just the scarecrow dripping."

-

Zloy: "I have, like, twenty dirt. Place it responsibly."

-

Pix: "Oh, a zombie villager! Haha, yeah!" Zloy: "WHAT? No way!" Pix: "Let's see what we can do about him." Zloy: "I mean, we have a boat." Pix: "Yeah, that is true. That is true." Zloy: "I already decided that his name is gonna be Grephew. Which is a very bad idea, because I can see there's another zombie inside of him. He probably will not survive." [Pix creeps out toward the zombie villager, who self-yeets off the bridge. Pix runs back again] Pix: "There's a tiny one! There's a tiny one behind him! He has a son! There was a child!" Zloy: "Grephew Junior! Yaaaaay! I… don't want to go near him. Okay, Grephew, son of a gun, you're making me do this. Here are full blocks to preserve you." Pix: "Oh man. It's super creepy that baby zombie villagers have the same sound as regular zombie villagers. It's like a child with an unnaturally deep voice." Zloy: "They just have a very deep voice, okay?"

-

[Zloy builds a shelter around Grephew, out of oak fences with an oak plank roof] Pix: [laughs] "He has a freaking abandoned mineshaft over the top of him now."

-

Zloy: "A skeleton on this platform. So… potentially bones. And I apologise, but also potentially getting boned, so…" Pix: "Yeaaah… 'bout that… I'm fine taking the risk. I have fire protection on my helmet." [I'm struggling to resist the innuendo on that one…] Zloy: "I also am fine with you taking the risk."

-

Zloy: [musing] "So, mycelium would be… a log and dirt, all right." Pix: "Consult the notes!" Zloy: "I have them on my lap. The entire whiteboard. It's not a big whiteboard. But it does obstruct my view so I don't see the keyboard and my own teacup. So there's a disaster waiting to happen." Zloy: [laughs; probably at a suggestion from stream chat] "Consult the book of armaments! Oh my god." Pix: [laughs] "Hold thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. Four shalt thou not count. Neither countest thou two. Unless, in counting two, thou proceedest to three." Zloy: "Are you still speaking English?" Pix: [laughs] "I'm just quoting Monty Python. Which is probably the most English you can speak." Zloy: "Are you still speaking English, or have you transcended into communicating only in Monty Python quotes?" Pix: "It's touch and go." Zloy: "Yeah."

-

Zloy: "This is the Grephew Island." Pix: "The Grefuge." Zloy: [cracks up] Pix: [laughs] "I'm sorry!" Zloy: [giggling] "That's going into the episode title. Like, you're ruining my SEO, but that's gonna be the episode title."

-

Pix: "We have four apples in the chest now. Which is nice. I'm still not eating any of them, because I enjoy chat freaking out about the fact that I have no health left." Zloy: "There is no reason to eat. Just DIE!" [they have Keep Inventory on] [long, awkward pause] Zloy: "There is so much political commentary in that one phrase I just said..."

-

Pix: [peers across at the spawning platform] "I keep looking at stuff over there and thinking, 'Is that a skeletal chicken?' and it turns out it's just, like, a sapling and I can't really see. Oh, yeah… ENHANCE!" Zloy: [laughs] "Crying out loud, I was waiting for you to remember that one. What do your elf eyes see, Pixlriffs?"

-

[Zloy is about to boat a chicken along a one-block-wide bridge] Pix: "Do you need a bit more space on the platform, or is that enough?" Zloy: "No, no. But I would appresh you taking out the spooder [spider]. I dragged a shulker this way, through the End, over the void, for thousands of blocks. [whispers] I think I can manage with a chicken. [pause] Mostly because the chicken is not actively trying to kill me."

-

Pix: "Oh my god! Phantoms have started to spawn, and they're skinless chickens!" Zloy: "WHAT?! NO!" Pix: "I DID NOT EXPECT THIS!" [both start laughing] Pix: "Yes! Oh, this map is good. This map is so good!"

-

[they kill a chicken-phantom] Pix: "Oh, it dropped feathers! What?" Zloy: "IT DROPPED RAW CHICKEN!" Pix: [absolutely loses it] "So phantoms are actually chickens?! What?! Oh, that's so good." Zloy: "They're regular chickens that came for vengeance!" Pix: [cracks up] "That's incredible." Zloy: "I just realised that they're gonna burn in the daylight and drop cooked chicken." Pix: "I mean, in theory. They could not do." Zloy: "Yeah, they couldn't." Pix: "But yeah, if they drop cooked chicken, that's like… actual genius." Pix: "Look at it dive. Look at it dive, like a graceful swa— [chicken-phantom bursts into flames] Nope, it is burning. Yes!" Zloy: [cracks up] Pix: "Self-cooking chicken!" Zloy: "Yes! We finally found the Kentucky Fried one!"

[scribbly-artist]

Dorm Antics

Author’s Notes: My brain is melting from my binge of Persona 3 Portable this weekend, soooo of course my mind is wandering. Junpei my beloved, you deserve some laughter after all the shit you’ve gone through. I wrote this rather quickly, so I don’t think it’s the best. I tried to clean it up as best as I could with a proofread though. Writing is fun even though I’m not experienced, so lemme know what you think. :D

Word count: ~850

“Junpei! Where did you hide my stuff?!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Yuka-tan.”

Yukari angrily stomped over to Junpei. He was sitting on the couch in the dorm’s common room on the first floor, a manga volume in hand. His eyes didn’t leave his manga as he flipped to the next page.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, Stupei! I left my shopping bag with my new purse and makeup near the front door, you were the only one here when I dropped it off before I went out! You’re the only one who’d hide it just to mess with me!” She huffed as she placed her hands on her hips, glaring at him. “At least look at me while I’m talking to you!”

Craning his head, Junpei looked up at Yukari’s face. A grin spread across his face that he could no longer hide. Yukari looked so angry, but it made her look like a child that wasn’t getting their way. He couldn’t help himself cracking up, which, in turn, just made Yukari more angry.

“What’s so funny??” She questioned, taking another step closer.

“S-Sorry, Yuka-tan, it’s just… hehehe, just so funny to see you angry…!” He couldn’t hold back any longer, snickering as she continued to advance closer, furious as she was now being mocked.

“Ugh, you’re always like this!!” She proclaimed as thoughts swirled in her head. She needed to know where he hid her stuff. How could she get him to tell her? Trying to be threatening was obviously not working, in fact, it was just making him laugh more…

Laugh? She went back in time in her memories, remembering how she used to deal with him when he would act like this when they were kids. She had an idea…

“I’ll give you something to laugh about, idiot!” She lunged for him, knocking his manga volume out of his hand and falling onto the floor as she wrestled him on the couch. He was stunned and honestly surprised for a moment, but then ‘fought’ back, trying to grab her wrists to stop her, making sure not to be too rough and hurt her accidentally.

But her hands were much too fast for him to grab. She reached out to his torso, scribbling her fingers into Junpei’s sides.

The reaction wasn’t instant - Junpei wasn’t too sure what was going on at first. But once the signal travelled to his brain, he burst out with laughter.

“W-W-Wait— Hahaha!! S-Stop—!” Junpei laughed from the ticklish sensations wracking his body, attempting to grab at Yukari’s wrists once again, but failing to connect. He couldn’t believe Yukari remembered he was ticklish - this was something stupid they did as kids, especially when Junpei was being particularly annoying. He hadn’t been tickled in god knows how long. He didn’t even remember he was ticklish - until this very moment.

Yukari wickedly smiled at him as her nails skittered from Junpei’s sides to his ribs methodically. Junpei was spluttering and squirming beneath her, laughing himself silly.

“Tell me where my stuff is, Junpei. Don’t be stupid now.” Her slim fingers expertly dug into his ribs, making Junpei cackle as he threw his head back onto the couch’s armrest, his signature cap almost falling off onto the floor.

“Ahaha! You think— you think tihihickling me will make me t-tell you?!” Junpei struggled to speak, now trying to protect his ticklish spots rather than trying to fight Yukari off of him.

“I know it will, Stupei. I remember exactly how to get you to break,” Yukari monologued, her hands travelling upwards. “I remembered exactly how to get payback when we were kids… every time you annoyed and teased me…” Yukari smirked, her hands right on top his highest ribs.

“Don’t you— hehehe!! Don’t you dare!!” Junpei gasped, struggling to hold the laughter bubbling inside him.

“Are you going to tell me, then?” Yukari interrogated, her eyes meeting Junpei’s. Junpei shook his head, not daring to speak a word. “Then you’ve left me no choice.”

Yukari’s fingers dug into his highest ribs, drawing loud and frantic laughter from her friend. Junpei desperately shook his head. He wasn’t going to be able to take this much longer, even though it was funny messing with her.

“O-OKAY, FINE!! I’LL— HAHAHA! I’LL TELL YOU WHERE I HIHIHIHID IT!” Junpei sputtered out. Yukari got the response she was waiting to hear, so he stopped tickling him, but left her hands on his ribs in case he was duping her. “It’s… hehehe… behind the stairs…” He gasped for air, filling his lungs with the sweet air he desperately lacked.

Yukari got off of Junpei, pacing to the stairs at the other end of the dorm. She reached behind the stairs, grabbing her shopping bag happily with a big smile on her face.

“That’ll teach you to mess with me.” She called out from the foot of the stairs, sticking her tongue out at Junpei.

“You’re so immature, you know that?” He huffed, sitting up on the couch, grabbing his previously abandoned manga volume.

“Says you, Stupei.”

[echidna-enquiries]

Iris excitedly approaches the Guardians "Sooo The Brotherhood finally decided to have a little costume party since I got a little too hype to dress up for Halloween. Got me thinking... Any of you all planning on dressing up for the holiday? I'd love to know what you'd be for Halloween!" 🤩

Fae: Hahaha, I hope you guys have fun! I might be hanging out with my friends just for a lil chill night in for Halloween. I have my costume all ready just about! hehe. Gonna be going all Babadook this year hehehe! I got the Shepherd approval of my costume too! Marcello: I hope you fun with that, Iris! (grins widely) But yeah, while we don't really do much partying or going out. Most of us take the chance to have a few sweets and snacks and maybe watch a seasonal movie or too in a little costume. I've got mine ready! I found this HILARIOUS blow up costume and it looks like I've been picked up by an alien. My dad HATES it but it's SO funny! (he starts laughing) Some of the others are either still deciding or got theirs ready. Rhett: I'm kinda thinkin' either wear uh one of my previous one-piece costumes of the movies I really like... ooooor paying tribute to one of my favourite bands. I love some of their looks... it's just a lot of make-up. (awkwardly laughs)... It's already a lot for me to feel okay with dressing up. Coal: I got the night off, thank god, so I'm happy to spend it with the family. I'm going as Hannibal Lecter... mooostly for the joke of me being a chef and bringing food while dressed up as a cannibal. It's fucked up but funny. (Snorts) Johnathan: I HAVE to do Beetlejuice this year, I've got all the stuff I need for the costume! Morgan: While I'm going to be with Arcana for the holiday, this time of year is more her 'Valentines' day if anything... but I'm still going to dressing up as that Lady Dimitrescu... I wanna see her drool over me. (she snickers)...And I just wanna wear that hat.

Chase: I'm not usually THAT huge on dress up... but I found this cool and easy costume of that Scorpion dude from the videogame, I can at least move around in it. Can't stand the idea of being in a costume that's just so constricting.

Seth: I'm going to be dressed as a sweet transvestiiiiite from traaaaansexual Transylvaniaaaaaaa!~ (laughs) And Shepherd can't be mad at me for dressing like that, he KNOWS that movies iconic!

Journey: I'm going classic this year, got a werewolf costume! (pokes her tongue out with a smile) I love the little ears I got, and the paw gloves too!

Cedar: While my main plans is to pump my veins full with enough sugar to stop a mans heart, and to fill the fridge with Halloween themed food to feed the family for days. I am coming along... I got a silly pumpkin costume. It'll at least suit my figure.

Salem: I uh... (he looks off, a little embarassed) I'm uh... dressing as this wizard from a series I like... I know-it's a little nerdy... I like the cloak a lot though. Johnathan: And you got the wand too! And the hat! It's gonna look great, Salem! (grins) Salem: Ahaha... yeah... (clears throat) Lance isn't going to be with us this year. He'll spending the holidays with his boyfriend, Vincent. They're having a movie marathon too. Similarly, Knuckles is with his friends off-island this year. Chase: Yaaaaeah, we don't usually have everyone on these holidays, it's just how it is. And some of us aren't huge on it for all kinda reasons. Theodore for isn't really into the spooky stuff and this year, he'll be away with his boyfriend, Beau.

Marcello: Hadar is the same way! he's never been that big on Halloween and REALLY can't handle horror movies... He'll be one of the couple of us that are just gonna be doing a bit of work this year. Make sure we don't fall behind on anything. Seth: Sorrel, too. Although he simply can't stand horror movies but not the normal reasons... they make him make him angry, he'll go on and on about them being 'inaccurate' when they're injured or killed. (chuckles and shakes head) And, of course, Tiberius never gets involved with Halloween stuff, he hates a lot about the holiday... and h'es been especially pissy this year due to all the pranks that have come upon him for the last couple of days. (giggles at the many flashbacks he's currently having at Tiberius suffering at the hand of the Halloween pranks) Morgan: Hm. Wonder who could've been responsible for that. (giggles)

Rhett: Speaking of which, what about the old man himself? Surely he's gonna be doing something. It's one of the days he's not guaranteed to be working. Coal: (Snorts) Assuming he's going to be trying to fight off the instinct to tell us any movie fact about whatever movie we got lined up for Halloween if he hadn't chosen it for us.

Marcello: (gives a genuinely surprised look) He...actually has other plans tonight. He's going out. (Everyone turns and gives mixes of confusion and surprise) Fae: Yeah! I know! He's going to some party event thing on the night of... he got interested when it was mostly catered for 'adults'. Shepherd: Yes. Angel Island isn't usually privy to celebrating this particular holiday as largely as others... much to my chagrin. But this year, I got intrigued seeing that for once, theres an activity catered for adults. I... figured, why not try and enjoy it on this holiday that I enjoy. (crosses arms and looks away) At least the best without my preferred costume...

Marcello: Dad, when you showed us. We all kinda screamed... it was too much. Shepherd: But isn't that the whole point?! It's Halloween! This is a holiday meant to celebrate horror and such! And I'm going somewhere 'adult', why should I worry? It's not like I'll have to be around children... (huffs) Nevermind that, I have an alternative that's more or less 'appropriate' (he rolls his eyes) Nevermind that... I do hope I can enjoy it. (he walks back off) Seth:.. Does he know that if it's an adult event it's... likely more about y'know... MY kind of entertainment.

Fae: Ehh... I don't think so...

Marcello: I haven't had the heart to tell him. He BARELY ever does anything like this, so... I don't wanna ruin it... Dad deserves to have fun! And, hey! Maybe he'll have some fun, make a friend or something! (Everyone makes a variety of faces at that phrase) Marcello: (pouts and puts his hands on his hips) Hey! You never know! Anything could happen!

[dollcherray]

Hehehe I’m back to torture you:3

Sooo I was scrolling and on my fyp I saw you do matchups and my silly little brain went skxlend

ERMM so I was wondering if I could get a matchup for tadc😋 (fem pref but not necessary)

Soo my names Kathryn (or Kat for short) and I’m in school for graphic design and communications — I originally wanted to go into cosmetology to become a desairologist, but I didn’t get in. I play piano, dance (hip hop, ballet, tap, and jazz), and sing. I also produce my own music.

Idk how to classify my style so I’ll say it alternates between morute, gloomy coquette, dollette, gothic, and alternative

I practice witchcraft and I’m also a Christian. I have a weird fascination with dolls and I collect them, specifically porcelain dolls. Like, it’s so bad LMAOO my friends are scared to come into my room atp!!! Literally I’m probs on someone’s rob list I have one worth $400😭🙏

I also collect vinyls. I have over $600 worth of them save me…

Some of my fave music artists are Bambi Baker, Melanie Martinez, Solya, Baby Bugs, and Mercy Necromancy. I also like a lot of rock; AC/DC, Scene Queen, Ashnikko (she’s sometimes rock), and Ennaria

My humors honestly really weird. I can laugh at bread falling but find a really good dad joke stupid and unfunny. I also tend to match the personality of the person I’m speaking to.

I took a state personality test and I’m 50% INFP and 50% INFJ. Legit confused the test and it gave me both 💀

Im diagnosed with anxiety & depression. I’ve been told I might have OCD, BPD and some sort of depersonalization/derealization disorder. I believe I could have autism or ADHD.

Idk what else to say so uhhhmmmm YEAHH ty babes!!💗

i match you with...

✧₊⁺ GANGLE

⋆.˚ Now playing: Crybaby

Congratulations, Gangle is also someone who likes to do art, you two have very creative minds, ideas and whenever you guys merge your ideas its always a blast, its beautiful, it really is!

You two are quite the duo, Gangle understands you and you probably understand her too, you both always try to merge your hobbies together as some sort of bonding, it sounds weird but, its pretty cute when you put it into paper.

Gangle and you always have each other's back whenever any of you get too anxious or overwhelmed in any way, because you both know how bad overwhelming feelings are, and she gives you her shoulder to cry on and you give her yours.

You guys hobbies are your therapy basically, and you both like knowing about each other's hobbies, while you show her your doll collection, she shows you her figures, and while you admire her collection, she adores yours.

You two just match in almost every aspect.

She likes seeing you dance, you like to see her drawing, she likes your musical taste, you like her cinematic preferences, she matches your personality and you match hers.

Not mentioning the kindness you both got in your hearts, it's so much that it might not even fit in, maybe you guys could be a little less kind with others and save some space for yourself.

how funny is that you both actually complete each other so well, you might almost be the perfect duo.

Gangle would really like you.

(but in all seriousness now you are single handedly the most fun person i've seen)

[mythica0]

Right side of the bed

🎂: ROTTMNT

🧁: Donnie

🍫: Mikey , Leo Ft. Raph

Summary: Donnie is in a very good mood and has a minor case of the giggles for some reason . Mikey and Leo decide to figure it out and maybe improve it even more..

A/N: I love the idea of tickling someone because they’re in a good mood almost as much as I love cheer up tickles and that’s saying something.

Right side of the bed

“Good morning, D!” Mikey cheered while making breakfast as Donnie walked in.

“Morning Angelo!” He replies , equally chipper.

‘……wait just a second! Donnie’s never this cheery in the mornings??!’

“Oo! Something smells good! What’s on the menu today?”

Okay, this was really weird. Mikey’s brain stutters for a moment.

“Oh! It’s pancakes! With chocolate chips!” He informs once his mind catches up.

“Fun! I bet they’ll be delicious, like always!” Donnie giggles .

….Donnie giggled. What the hecking heck?

Mikey kinda just stares in shock at Donnie’s smiling face.

Donnie giggles again. “Hello~ is anybody home?” And waves his hand in front of the others eyes.

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Mikey finished making breakfast as Leo and Raph come downstairs.

“I smell chocolate chip pancakes!” Raph calls as he sits down.

“I hope we’re not to choco-late to get some!” Leo cracks a joke with a silly smirk .

Raph groans, Mikey grins, but Donnie giggles.

“Pfft. That was silly.”

Leo gasps(maybe a little dramatic but that���s in character)

“did you just laugh? At one of my jokes? Who are you and what have you done to my brother?”

“Heheh, I’m an eeviilll imposter ~,” Donnie starts with a fake ghost voice , “No but seriously, Nardo, it’s just me.”

“Okay, this is really weird , what is up with you?”

Donnie laughs again. “Guess I woke up on the right side of the bed? I’m just kinda feeling life today Leon, don’t sweat it.”

“Moving on!” Mikey exclaims from the kitchen “Breakfast is ready!”

As the brothers eat, Leo makes more jokes, capitalizing on the fact that his brother was so giggly. He loved making people laugh.

After a joke that landed particularly well, Donnie just full on burst into belly laughter.

“Hahaha! Nardohoho! I’m trying to eat!” He half complains as he clutched his sides and wipes a small tear from his eye.

“Hey! It’s not my fault that I’m so funny.”

“Heh. Dork.”

At that sentiment, Leo does a fake offended gasp, in another form of comedy.

It works. Donnie just laughs harder.

“Oh, you should see your face! Ahahah!”

After breakfast, Leo decides he’s gonna make Donnie laugh in a different way. He tells the others(minus Donnie) and Mirky agrees to help. Raph says he’ll just watch, they don’t want to overwhelm the soft shell.

So, when Donnie comes back(he had been getting a drink) the two of them pounce.

“Whahat are you twoho doihing, huhuh?” Donnie laughs out as he’s tackled by them.

“We’re making you laugh!” Mikey pips up, before lightly poking at Donnie’s sides.

“Pffthehe! Youhou whehere alreheheady Dohinhihng thahat youhou gohoofbahalls!”

Donnie wouldn’t admit it, but it felt kinda nice. It was improving his already happy feelings.

He was glowing with joy, only bright smiles here!

“Yeah, but we wanted to do it better, Mister giggles~.” Leo teases as he joins in the attack.

Donnie didn’t say anything, he was just full of laughter!

“Looks like someone got a one-way ticket to giggle city~” Leo coos.

Donnie didn’t even respond. Normally he wouldve replied with snark or a simple “shut!” But this time, he just basked in the feeling.

“Are you having fun~” Mikey sings

“Mmmahayhahaps!” He quietly says through his laughter.

All three brothers internally ‘awwed’ at that.

Donnie was indeed, having fun. He didn’t even protest because he was already in a good mood before. Now he just felt amazing .

His smile seemed to glow, his eyes were shut tight as giggle after giggle fell out of his mouth.

The others all watched in awe at Donnie’s generally happy juxtaposition.

Leo continued to make jokes while tickling his twin, increasing the amount of laughter pouring from him even more.

It was a great situation! Everyone was having a good time!

When the two attackers stopped, they let Donnie catch his breath and got him a glass of water.

After he recovered, Donnie just smiled and laughed a little at his own thought before reciting it aloud,

“Now I really feel like I woke up on the right side of the bed.”

———THE END————————————————

[thesmutalorian]

Yeah  they made the feral predator way too hot. The credits came on and I immediately went to Ao3 like “let’s see what the girlies have to say about thissssss” 🤭 I saw the original predator almost a decade ago and as much as I liked it, never would of guessed I’d be here now 🙂

 the ooman shit kills me, like why do they have these scary ass aliens saying such silly shit I’m gonna die. 

Turns ouuuuut, I actually have more to sayyyyy, but you don’t have to respond: I feel bad bc I don’t have an Ao3 account so I can never comment, but Gorl if I did, id have a whole essay for every chapter, including reaction images 😤. Ik you aren’t currently writing from Ta'Kesh’s POV (which is perfectly fine lol), but I really appreciated how you did so. The predator POV is so fun to read, they’re just so damn cold and pragmatic and just ALIEN yk? (Ta’kesh makes me laugh bc he’s such a lil psycho lol). At least when done right I think. The dynamic you have set up is really interesting, like I love a good slow burn enemies to friends to lovers, but the cultural differences and species hierarchy sets it up for some really fascinating (JUICY) interactions/character development. I was unfortunate enough to come upon your story very early, there aren’t many other fics that hold up to the standard you set! (Have you read The Devil You Know? One of the only other quality fics I’ve found that seems to accurately portray that sort of dynamic- 10/10 recommend). 

But anyway, the arrogance, the entitlement, just the cold bluntness makes predator fic so engaging to me. When you take a person with that deeply ingrained of a mindset (that’s another aspect I love, the question of whether or not yautjas are innately “predatory” or if it’s largely due to cultural upbringing) and force them to interact with with someone they deem inferior in a way they never have had to before (and there was only ONE BED heheh) I’m eating that shit up with 2 hands like GOOD SOUP!!😤😤😤

 I appreciate it even more with a quality OC and I like Charlie a lot. I really struggle with reader/you fics bc beyond me just being like “lol I would not do that”, I like having an established character to root for :). She has an interesting past that you’ve managed to portray in an appealing and unostentatious way. Reminds me of Rust cohle from True Detective.  I like that she’s very brave, but not to the point of ridiculousness lol. She has her moments where she’s able to act courageously in order to try to survive, but still gets intimidated/scared (extremely valid) sometimes with the big ass scary aliens. Do you have anyone in mind for how she looks?

Some highlights so far:

Greatly enjoyed ta’kesh’s cringe fail lake venture where Charlie showed his ass up while he fucking stands in the background looking like a drowned ass rat ahahah but watching her Commit Violence like 👀

Idk why but aliens using bidets is so fucking funny to me

Kinda living for ta’kesh being a dork and talking to his cat all the time hehe

let me see what the girlies have to sayyyyy 👏🏼 absolutely the correct response. my friend and I stand by that alien v predator could've been entirely more romantic if they were brave enough but 🤪 no cause literallyyyyy when I read ooman I hear it in a baby voice and I canNOT take it seriously, like bless those authors truly but whoever started the ooman precedent.... I just wanna talk 🧍🏻‍♀️ and girly pop ofc I'm gonna respond you took the time to let me know how you feel and I /love/ interaction okay (I think there's a way to comment anon on ao3 with like a guest account or name or something but maybe I'm wrong idk) but either way you take the time I want to show my appreciation

I stopped his POV just cause I felt like I was backtracking and I'm already so slow (rip sorry) but I really do want to come back to it in the future just to have fun revealing his inner workings (cause sometimes I be writing things and giggling like pookie is such a brat and then I remember y'all can't hear the goofy ass voices in my head and you only know the story I show you) but yes yes their differences are gonna play out in so many ways that I just can't wait for 😇 AND YES IVE READ FRIGGY one of the few I made it all the way through and then had to literally have a whole moment to process that there wasn't a second part 😗😗 sick I tell you, sick,, but I completely understand the not being able to read FPOV or self insert because of the "ummm I would never" --- because that's EXACTLY how I started writing 💀😭 I was chatting w my friend and we were like ok but isn't it kinda weird how fast some of these fmc just like... accept the whole ass murder crab men? also--- how do they survive well in space and from there Charlie was born ahahahHA I was like ok but what if I made it realistic for bits (as realistic as scifi can be) and then asked people to suspend their disbelief for the fun bits like the space pond and the tail n shit 🤭🤭

I have a whole board of art for ta'kesh but I've never really stopped to think about Charlie 🧐🧐

YES DROWNED RAT IS SOOOOO RIGHT mans really does have an ego, which, like rightfully earned? but also... must be checked whenever author feels he needs it (all the time 😇)

the bidet was me being like what is something that isn't necessarily commonplace, but feels bougie enough that an advanced society would have it regularly around.... ah yes.... Bidet.

ta'kesh is a cat girl, confirmed

I promise to bring you more good soup in the future 🍲

[shebeafancyflapjack]

Claimed

How Gore Mary found the best method of 'settling' her newfound daughter (Set in @idiotwithanipad 's Gore AU).

-

For as long as I can remember, I've loved to dance! Whenever I would finish watching a Disney film or one of those old musicals on a Sunday afternoon like Sound of Music or Wizard of Oz, I just wanted to spin and skip and sing forever! Why couldn't real life be like a musical? Why couldn't we just burst into a song and dance to express our emotions?! Surely everyone would be happier for it!

My dream life is now my reality! Perhaps I died from that mega headache I suffered and this is Heaven? Or perhaps I stumbled upon my very own Narnia? I dunno the truth and honestly, I don't give a flying fuck!

Just so long as I can keep dancing.

"Look at thee. Oh, how I love watching you take to thy heel, my darling girl." Mummy praises, bringing her hands together, "Thou dances like a child betwixt angel and nymph!"

Giggles escape my lips as I twirl again, hands above my head.

No one complimented my dancing back when I was...Back in my old home.

'Go do that in your room, you're in my way!' Said the woman who I called Mum but hardly ever looked my way, least of all with the love in her eyes that my new mummy has. Real Mummy, I should say. 'You look like a spazz!' The mean older girl I thought was my sister would say, pointing and laughing with her friends. The boy supposedly my brother would just try to trip me up. Dad...he enjoyed it, would sometimes tell me it was pretty...but never enough to pay for me to have real lesson. And then he died, so...

Shaking my head, I focus on my smile, which Mummy says is beautiful. That's good because I can't seem to stop smiling, hehe. I must be so happy. The past few days have been such a funny blur...

Was it days? I know I fell asleep at one point. But it felt like such a long sleep and as soon as my eyes were open, I was leaping back up onto my feet and tugging at Mummy's hands for us to dance.

Mummy's hands feel ever so sore. Hard, calloused, blistered maybe. It's hard for me to really...'see' what's wrong with Mummy. The world has turned so silly. A swirl of colors and shadows that often don't make sense. It would probably make me feel queasy if I wasn't so energised. A world of beautiful chaos.

The only shining, solid entity is Mummy. A tall silhouette of curves and strength and black locks of hair, surrounded by an aura of gorgeous embers. She is Hekate, Demeter and Hestia all round into one! My mummy: the Goddess, hehe!

I'm about to start my next performance for her when we're, rather rudely, interrupted by the strange fluffy beast. He growls for Mummy's attention.

"Excuse you, Mr. Floof, it's rude to disturb us, hehehe." I gently scald him.

It's not quite clear to me exactly what Mr. Floof is. Mummy's familiar? Servant? Or just her grumpy but oh so cuddly friend?

"Mummy, watch this-."

"Hush, child!" Mummy raises her hand at me.

A little stifled, I shrink, standing still. Mummy's tone is usually so soft with me that it's always a bit of a shocker when it suddenly turns harsh and strict. A sharp reminder to me of Mummy's position. This forest...this strange land, it belongs to her. She may as well be a Queen, though I've yet to meet any other subjects she has except for Mr. Floof.

Crossing my arms, I strain my ears to listen as the grumpy fluffy thing seems to be telling Mummy something, using grunts and possibly sign language with his paws. I really can't see much of him, though my mind conjures up a raggedy brown Direwolf like in Dad's A Game Of Thrones book. Or perhaps a Bear Man like Beorn from the Hobbit.

Mummy is humming as she listens; "I sees. Much appreciate this report, dear ally. I shall go 'vestigate it, I shalls. Silver, my dear?"

"Yes, Mummy?" I pipe, glad I've not been forgotten.

Mummy approaches and strokes my chin; "We must call for a teensy intermit of thy lovely show, little'en. Mummy has to go to work."

"W-work? Hehehe, what kind of work, Mummy?" Despite having studied gods and goddesses for years, the idea of one actually going to 'work' in their role sounded funny, and also intriguing.

A bony hand pats my head; "Nothing you needs be concerned with, swee'heart. It just be 'portent work that Mummy need to do to keep thee safe."

"Can I come? M-maybe I can help?" I offer, fiddling nervously with the velvet coverings on my hands.

For some reason, I feel oddly nervous at the idea of Mummy leaving me alone, like I'm some sort of toddler. But she's been at my side pretty much since my big headache stopped, and Mr. Floof picked me up and carried me to her feet. Fear stings my heart at the idea of her not coming back.

Mummy tuts and kisses my brow; "What a sweet offer, but you ist far too young for such toil, my love. Mummy would feel much better that you stay here and play. Our ally shall protect thee."

Deflated a little, I almost want to argue. But I know Mummy is right. I don't quite have the power that she has. Mummy has promised that I might have, one day, after many many many years of training. But that training won't come unless I can prove myself to be a good girl.

Which means obeying Mummy, always.

Letting out a sigh, I bow my head; "Yes, Mummy."

Her finger taps my nose.

"I shall return in two shakes of a lamb's tail."

"One and a half shakes?!" I plea.

Mummy laughs, raspy but true; "T'is a deal, my dancing angel. See thee soon."

There's a crackle of flames, a waft of thick smoke on sharp winds. And then Mummy is gone, her amber silhouette dissolved.

Close to me, I can smell that pungent scent of wet dog and slight burned leather.

"Wanna watch me dance, Mr. Floof?" I giggle.

A grunt is all I get in response. Dismissive and moody.

Following my nose, I feel my way towards him, colors and shadows continuing to swirl, but no clear beacon for me to focus on without Mummy here.

Finally, my hand finds his....mane?

"Hehehe, come on, you can dance with me! It's super fun!" I say, tugging at the matted fur.

A louder grunt. No, a grumble, followed by a swipe of his paw that lightly throws me back. Then a snarl, like a dog bearing its teeth, warning me not to try that again.

I huff and stomp my foot; "Fine! You don't have to be so mean."

A lower grumble, but he seems to settle. Tired. A worn out old working hound who only wants to rest. I feel a little guilty, but also lonely. Why did Mummy have to leave me? What's so dangerous out there?

I continue to hum and spin but it just isn't as fun without a proper audience. Pretty sure Mr. Floof doesn't care about my dancing. Is he falling asleep?!

With a great big sigh, I fall to sit on my backside on the grass. I've been awake for hours but don't feel the slightest bit tired. Oh, what I'd give to have my video games, or my books, or my tools to practice my craft. Are the gods okay with me not giving any offerings for a while? Or is Mummy the only goddess I need worry about?

Starting to get bored. Restless. My hands are flapping, hungry for stimulation. A thumping begins behind my eyes and I rub my hands over them.

Something thick and wet is caught on my palm. Strange. I'm not crying....What is that?

I sniff my hand. Kinda coppery, hehe...like...

My nose. It's coming from my nose, except it isn't snot, it's...Fuck. I can feel it under my ear too. How didn't I notice that before?

"Wha....What is happening?" I ask, reaching out my hand.

All the funny colors and playful shadows seem far less whimsical. I stumble forward, hand outstretched, because there's nothing...Nothing around me...I'm lost in the dark, I'm...

I wave my hand in front of my face. Nothing. Fuck, no, no, no..

As the truth smacks me in the head, the pain behind my eyes begins to intensify. Like a crack splitting straight through my skull. I jump back up to my feet, cradling my head in my hands.

For months, they'd been getting steadily worse. I complained to Mum, and she snapped at me to stop whinging and see my GP. Doc said I was probably just dehydrated. Sometimes, my vision turned blotchy, like little black dots hovering in front of me, then faded away. I hadn't mentioned that to him, seeing as I had my optician check up in April anyway.

How the fuck have I gone from seeing a few annoying black spots to losing my fucking eyesight overnight?!

Pain flares up, not just from my head, but from each and every bone in my body. My stomach is churning. I've only gotten high a handful of times before and come downs are always the worst; but this?!

What the hell have I been doing?! I...Did I hallucinate seeing a goddess? Some magical, grumpy beast? How long have I been out?

"H-help, hehehe? Is anyone there?! Hahaha."

What the fuck?! Why am I laughing?!

This the scariest moment of my life, I don't wanna fucking laugh!

"Please, hehehe, help me! I can't see! Hahaha. I think I need an ambulance!"

My cheeks are cramping like hell. My fingers touch the corners of my mouth. It's as if the muscles are paralysed. Why can't I stop smiling?! What's happening to me?! Where am I?!

A low growl approaches.

"J-Jess?" I call, daring to hope; "I-is that you, baby girl?"

Had she come to find me? If my mum reported me missing then she'd be the best one to track me down.

Another growl. Maybe a bit softer. A grunt? Less like a dog, more...ape-ish.

Fingers, hairy but very much human, tries to take my hand.

"N-no, no, who are you?! Who are you, what have you done to me?!" I demand, shuffling away, "A-are you keeping me here?!"

More grunts and rumbles, attempts to hold my wrists, my arms. The mute stranger tries to push me to sit back down.

"No, NO!" I wrench myself out from his grip and run.

There don't seem to be any shackles or rope or walls keeping me. There's nothing. I have no idea where the fuck I am.

Outside? I can hear owls hooting and critters scurring. I hear the leaves of trees rustle in the wind. Am I...Am I still in the woods I came in to do my ritual?

It's so hard to think clearly with this agony tearing through my head. All I can do is scream.

-

Oh, Husband, wherever you may be, is thou watching? Dost thou see what miracle hath occurred?!

Our little girl has returned! Praise be!

Never did I think I'ds have reason to sing my thanks to the stars again, not after fate in her cruelest form did cause my heart to harden so. But whether it be thanks to the Lord Jesus or the Queen of Heaven or to one of my darling's heathen gods, I be eternally grateful.

What a delight she is, John. I always knew she woulds have thy tinkling laugh, but she be so much more than I coulds have dreamed. Who gifted her with such pretty hair? And those eyes, oh they is as blue as the Summer sky. But most of all, she is but the sweetest little darling. Such joyful company, with as silly a way with words and stories as I, but also always wanting to help her mother. And how her eyes do fill with such sympathy and sorrow when she takes note of how my scars hurt me so when she wants a cuddle. How she managed to keep such a pure heart whilst being raised by cruel Winter sprites is a wonder.

But oh, John, it hath come at such a cost. She be such a fragile little thing. Blind as a bat, bleedin' that refuses to cease, skinny as a rake and, that which all my folk wisdom cannot explain, cursed to sleep for weeks on end! How I did weep and wail when she did not rouse for those first two morns. Took me right back to that darkest of days when you found our little'en in her cradle, her little chest still as stone.

Except this time, John, her chest did continue to motion ups and downs. Her pretty eyelashes did flutter as she dreamed. Every night there even be the slightest murmur from her lips. She only be sleeping, John. Not gone. Not a shell to rot. Our sleepy girl is all she be.

I did not expect her to rise again, fearing that I may has to search for another hundred lifetimes to find whatever I needs to break the curse. Till then, I lovingly placed her on the softest cornflowers and made sure she be tucked in, cosy as could be. Weeks past, both myself and dear ally kept our vigils. I sang her my lullabies and caressed her hair. Once I dids even catch dear ally curled around her, one paw over her shoulder as he snoozed. Such a kindly creature, deep deep down.

Then came the next rise of the full moon. When I bent down to lay a kiss upon our daughter's brow, after the setting sun, my bones did near collapse 'pon themselves when those sapphire eyes did open again. "Hello, Mummy." She dids say, giggling as if she hath not made me sick with fright, the cheeky little madam.

After conversing with dear ally, I cans only conclude that her spirit be tied to the moon's light. He did discover her on the last full phase. Only when it be at full strength, can it lend my little'en enough power to wake.

T'is awful, John. I will miss her so when she next lays down for her slumbers. But three nights be better than none at all.

I won't lose her again, dear Husband, to thee I pledge. I willst wrap her up, snug as a bug, and make sure nothing comes to harm her.

Hence why I am pained to leave her side in order to check for trespassers 'pon my woods. Mine ally did bring me troubling news of Living folk intruding past the treeline. Legends and warning tales, fuelled by centuries of mine and ally's presence here, have helped to steer people away. 'Spare the fools or the ignorant.

Four are stood in a clearing, gazing down at a spot of dirt and fallen leaves. They be silent as the grave. And then I do see, in how they do hold their hands at their fronts and bow their heads thus, this be just that. Near enough.

Two women, past my age when death took me, I reckon. A younger man and a maiden, maybe only a handful of years older than....

I squint, hovering closer.

The younger wench doth bare a striking resemblance to my little'en. Longer hair, more simple clothing, a harder look in her eyes.

"You ready, Mum? Arsenal are playing at six." The man one prompts, gruffly.

"Fuck sake, Bri, she was our sister." Tuts the maiden, though there's an air of humor to her response, as if she's not truly offended.

One of the older women throws them a sharp look.

"Kids, let your mum take her time! Brian, imagine if this happened to one of your girls!"

"Don't have to. Neither of mine are gonna be hippy freaks doing drugs."

"That had nothing to do with how Louise died."

The boy rolled his eyes; "So they say. Seems a bit of a coincidence to me though, brain aenyrusm ruptures after chugging a whole flask of magic mushroom tea. Nah, bet you if Mum had let them do a proper autopsy, they'd found some sort of link. If not that, then all her time hanging around those weird shops and inhaling that incense messed her up."

"Can you just save your fucking conspiracy theories for another time?" His mother scalds, and I see for the first time the urn she doth hold beneath her arm. "We're here to say goodbye."

"You sure you wanna do it here? She always rabbited on about Stone Henge." The maiden says.

Her mother shrugs; "She wanted a sacred site, she never specified which. Bloody difficult getting a permit to scatter ashes near there anyway. Old woman here was fine with it. Plus it's...where she is now, I guess. She's free. Just like she wanted."

"Karen-" the woman's companion tries.

"It's true, Aunt Sal. We all read her diary. Or 'book of shadows' as she titled it. She never felt like a part of this family, not since Dad died." The maiden shrugs, "Not that it was a surprise, she never made an effort to be part of it."

"Always in her room, talking to herself, or just being weird and embarrassing whenever she did show herself. Any wonder why there was hardly anyone at the funeral?" Her brother cringed; "This was another big cry for attention that blew up in her face...Or inside her head, I guess."

The man one laughed at his own joke and his sister smirked, struggling to suppress her own.

The pieces fall into place as I stare at the urn.

One who fell upon this land...The only maiden to have done so recently is....my little'en. And there she be. Her beautiful body, burned to ashes as I was and stuffed into a scratched vase.

"Anyone smell burning? Sis, did you drop a cigarette?" The man one asks.

"No I didn't. Could murder for one though. C'mon, Mum, let's get it done and leave her alone, like she fucking wanted."

The woman's knuckles whiten as she grips the vase close to her chest.

"I just...Just wish I'd known her. Just wish she hadn't been such a stranger to us. My own daughter." She sighs, sounding more tired than heartbroken.

Her friend grips her shoulder while her son reaches to pat her arm. They both console her, remind her it wasn't her fault, that she was a brilliant mother.

I listen to my embers crackle. A brilliant mother? Tush and flaps!

A thief be all she is! Stealer of little babies!

How long have they abandoned their wicked Fae forms and disguised themselves as regular folk? I peer at the 'mother', trying to catch a peek of pointy ears or hidden wings.

"Well. Goodbye, Louise. Hope you find peace, love, wherever you are." The kidnapper tips the vase upside down and scatters the ashes upon the earth.

At the spot where my little'en did take her final breath of life.

They all begin to leave, not a single tear shed among any of them. I've witnessed folk lay their dogs to rest with more harrowing grief.

How dare they, John?! How dare they steal our little girl to keep as their own, then disrespect her so?!

I'm about to launch a wave of my smoke at them, fuelled by a desire to throttle them with my magic, poison their lungs and burn their hearts out. One of my tendrils lunges close to the mother, the thief, ready to take my revenge after four hundred years when-

A scream. I hear it reach my ears on swift winds.

Silver!

-

"Artemis, Persephone, Pan, Hermes, Hestia, Demeter, Hecate, Apollo, Zeus and Hera," I rattle off as many names as I can, over and over.

Help me, help me, please.

The low grumble of the....thing near me keeps rising now and then, attempting to approach. Every time, I scream, and he shrinks back. Is he what took me? Blinded me? Or was he just the one left to guard me?

Hugging my knees to my chest, I sit and rock myself, pain throbbing through my skull.

This is Hell. This has to be Hell. Worse than any Christian Hell, worse than fire and brimstone. This must be what it means to drown in the river Styx, or be sent to the bottom of the pit of Hades where no light can reach.

Then comes a sudden rush of wind and the faintest orange glow in my lack of vision.

"Darling girl, what ails thee?" A raspy voice asks, "I'm here, sweetheart."

"A-are you talking to me?" I ask, looking in the direction of the voice.

The image from my shroom induced hallucination. The ember woman, the strange goddess. Fuck, am I still high?!

"Who...Who are you?"

"Silver, my love, t'is Mummy." The ember woman kneels down and the warmth she brings is the closest I've come to feeling anything except pain.

"M-Mummy?" I shake my head, face wincing; "Y-you don't sound like my mum, you're not..."

Even the silhouette isn't anything like Mum. Taller, stockier, different haircut. But the stranger's voice, even weaker and stained, is far softer than Mum's impatient snapping.

The shadow tilts her head, as if she's examining me.

"Silver, little'en, is your head causing thee great pains again?"

Was it that obvious? I nod.

"It...It feels like it's gonna explode. A-and my eyes...I can't see anything." My lip wobbles as I start to sob, along with the impulsive giggles, "Please, hahaha. I-I think I need an ambulance. A-and I need someone to call my mum."

"Shh. No need to fret." The figure reaches a hand out towards my head; "I has the best of remedies to makes it all better."

Frowning, I watch as strange shadows seem to swirl and form into slithering limbs around the orange outline of her arm. The smell of burning tickles my nose.

What the fuck-?!

I cry and stumble to my feet, palms raised.

"N-no, haha, stay away from me!"

"Silver-."

"What are you?! A-are you and that other thing working together? D-did you do something to me?!"

The smoke recoils and I can make out the woman raising her hands.

"We has done nought to harm thee, precious girl. Be not afraid. We only wish to take care of thee." She seems to move closer. Not walk...hover?

I shake my head again: "I...I don't need you to do anything, thank you, just...please take me to hospital. I need a r-real doctor..." my hand clutches at my burning skull.

"You be beyond the need of doctors now, my love."

"W-what the fuck do you mean?!" I stagger; "W-why won't you just let me go?"

"Because this be your home now, little'en. Your real home."

Okay so, whoever this orange lady is, she's crazy. Off her rocker. Found a teenager, high as a kite, alone in the woods and then took her back to Zeus knows where to....To what? Blind her, perhaps and then...make me her daughter?!

I should have known that going to summon ancient Pagan gods on a sacred site lost to time should have me ending up in my very own horror movie.

"You're nuts. Hahaha. You're...You're fucking crazy. Just let me go home!"

Turning, I run. I run as fast as my feet can take me. My boots don't fail me, as uneven as the ground often is.

Neither the woman nor the growling man-creature chase after me. This would be a relief if I had a fucking clue where I was going.

Annoyingly, the further away I get from the strange woman, the darker my vision becomes.

Wait....I giggle. Then turn my head.

Another giggle.

Did the first one seem to echo back to me slightly shorter than the second? I experiment, trying to distract myself from the pain. That must mean there's something there. Perhaps a tree? Or a wall? It's not very thin...

Isn't there a way that bats and dolphins use sound to see better than their eyes? Is it possible for me to do the same?

I don't want to learn that kind of skills. I want my normal eyes back. I wanna be able to play my video games properly. I wanna watch movies and see famous sites and sunsets and the moon...I want to see!

"Do you feel better now, Karen?" A familiar voice sounds close by.

I turn my head.

Aunt Sal? What are you...

"A little, I suppose. I've done all I can, I feel."

My feet freeze in place.

"....Mum?" I cry, reaching out my hand.

"Louise is probably throwing a hissy fit from the afterlife. 'I wanted a Viking funeral! You did it all wrong! You didn't play my favorite songs!'"

"Well, funerals are more for the living." Replies Aunt Sal.

"And no one wants to listen to fucking Evanescence." Brian. My brother. Cold and aloof as ever.

My family. They're here.

"Guys? Guys, I'm right here..." I try to feel my way towards their voices; "Mum, it's me, I'm here! I can't see but I'm here!"

"Feel a little guilty." Mum tuts.

"For the last time, there's nothing you could have done. You told her to see a doctor." My sister, practical as always to the point of emotional detachment. A step up from the Mean Girl I'd shared a bedroom with growing up.

"That's just it. She was my youngest. My baby." Mum sighs; "And I feel guilty because...I should be more sad. I feel like I should be tearing my clothes and all that stuff. I'm just...numb."

"It's only been a month. You might still be in shock."

"Hmm. Maybe. Just looking forward to going back to work and getting on with everything. And dreading having them all look at me as 'the mum of the little witch who died from magic mushrooms'."

Died.

I died.

The floor seems to disappear beneath my feet and I fall to my knees.

I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead.

I died, alone, in those woods...and my own mother is admitting to not giving much of a shit about me. Haha. Hahaha. I'd always thought she was just really busy with work or grieving Dad but...No. She just...says it. Holds nothing back.

"M-Mum...." I cry, just wanting her to hear me. Just one last time; "M-Mum, I..."

Something pushes into me. Then through me.

I scream as the pain in my head is doubled by the agonising discomfort in my torso. Tears stream down my cheeks as the voices of my family fade away. They walked through me. Haha, as in life, so in death, hahahahaha.

My hands reach for my face. My fucking smiling face. I want to rip it off. I want to pull my own tongue out to stop fucking laughing.

Just make it stop, make it stop, MAKE IT STOP!!!!

My hands start to warm again, as if a little fire had been lit beside me. I lower them from my face to see the shining glow of the strange woman again.

"I...Am I d-dead?" I ask her. Because if she can see me but they couldn't, then...

"No, darling girl. No." She assures me; "T'is all part of a great deception. Thou art brimming with life."

"B-but my mum-."

"That wasn't thy mother. Not in truth. Hear me, child. I be your mother. Your name be Silver Guppy. That....wicked wench dids steal yous from me, many years ago. You woulds not remember, you were just a babe in arms."

Mum....wasn't my mum? But that can't be right. I had her face, Dad's eyes. Everyone says I look just like my sister, despite being "the plain one". I've even watched the video Dad filmed of me in the hospital after I'd been born.

"That...That doesn't make sense...."

"I know, little'en. That why it be such a clever trick. Only Fae hands be capable of such convincing deceipt."

Fae? As in fairies? I would say I knew such things only existed in books or the hidden realm of gods and spirits but...if I'm dead then...that's where I am now.

Defeated, I hug myself tight and cry.

"Oh, love. Let it all out. That's it." The strange woman encourages, moving down close to me; "Forget about them, my angel. They was not worthy of a child as lovely as thee. You is safe now. Please. Let me look after thee."

Her hand is moving closer to me again. I gulp, tensing up.

"A-are you gonna...drug me?"

A slight laugh responds; "No, darling girl. No devils juice. No trickery. Just....a kiss. If thee be willing?"

A kiss?

I raise my head. Her eyes, two glowing tiny balls of flame, look back with fondness.

"Good girl." She smiles and leans in.

What touches my brow isn't a pair of lips. A set of teeth and leathery, wrinkled skin. I'm ready to cringe back before...

I close my eyes. The pain. It's gone.

Just like that.

Fingers as hard as the nimble branch of a tree strokes my hair; "All better, my love?"

"W-what did you do?"

"Told you. Just gave you the most powerful medicine there be." She taps my nose; "A kiss from Mummy."

Mummy. There it is again.

"Now open your eyes, little'en."

I shake my head; "I...There's no point. There's nothing for me to see, haha."

"Trust Mummy, darling. C'mon. Open them pretty eyes."

Taking a breath, I indulge the mad but magical woman. Slowly, my lids open, and I'm expecting the same darkness and faint glow of her mysterious orange aura...

I gasp.

It's back. My sight is back! Laughter, true and honest, erupts from my belly as I finally see where I am!

A forest. A forest that looks vaguely similar to the one I came to to do my ritual. But so much more beautiful! The sky has a beautiful pink tinge to it, same color as my fringe! The trees have ebony barks and shining silver leaves. It's like a forest on a whole other world.

And the woman...the stranger...Fuck, she's beautiful! I hesitate to believe she's even human. She has the body of a tall, stocky woman in her early forties...but gorgeous black locks that fall to her shoulders, a dress of sparkling black with an ethereal orange glow all around her.

Am I truly not high? Hehehe, I can't tell anymore. Is this real?!

"W-where am I?" I ask again.

"Told you, sweetheart. You is home. That be all the answer you needs." She smiles at me.

"...H-how did you cure my eyes?"

"Everything be hooked up to the brain, darling girl. If your eyes no longer work to sends it pictures then I shall sends them myself."

I'm not sure how that works but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

It's no longer dark. I'm no longer in pain.

"My love, you look famished! How about a sweetie?"

A...sweetie?

"I...I can eat?"

The woman smiles and holds out her hand. A slice of double chocolate cake materialised on her palm. My mouth instantly waters.

"...For me...?"

She nods. I dare to reach forward. I pick it up. The sponge and icing feels solid as the ground beneath my feet. Cautious but suddenly ravenous, I bring it to my lips. I bite. Fuck, it's real! How long since I've eaten anything?!

I moan in pleasure, knees buckling again. The woman chuckles as I devour the whole piece.

"Seems I has a sugary tooth to spoil." She teases.

My stomach flutters as I blush, suddenly feeling like a little kid, for the first time in....well. Many, many years.

"Oh...You dear little thing." The woman reaches to touch my face, wiping away some icing with her thumb; "They mades you grow up much too soon, didn'ts they. Much too fast...and much alone...Be that true?"

I duck my head. How did she know? Did she hear what they said about me?

"T'will all be different now, my darling. You will wants for nothing here. Whatever my girl wants, Mummy will provide."

I swallow the last morsel and rub at my arm; "Hehe, that's kind but you don't need to-."

"Is not about need, Silver, love. Is about want. I wants to take care of you. I wants thee to be a happy little girl."

I blink, "Why?" People never give for nothing. There's always a catch.

"Because that be what real Mummies do." She says.

Real...Mummies....

Real Mummies enjoy looking after their children, enjoy listening to what they enjoy and finding out about them. Real Mummies don't treat being a parent like a chore or an annoyance.

"Oh, look at the state of thee." The woman tuts, picking at some of the leaves in my hair. "And so much dirt on these here garments."

"S-sorry...." I say, instinctively, prepared for a scalding.

But the woman just tickles my chin.

"I do thinks it be time for you to be treated to some new clothes. What about....a pretty dress? Woulds thou like that?"

A dress? I've always been too self conscious after my eating disorder to wear a dress, other than simple cotton ones for Summer.

"What...kind of dress?" I dare to ask.

The woman winks; "Picture what you'd most dream to don, my love. Mummy will do the rest."

Closing my eyes again, for a moment, I focus. Something elegant but comfy. Nothing too preppy or pastel. But not too gothic either. Something to match my hair but maybe that could be a bit longer too? I'd wanted to grow it out...

Ember sparks swirl around me as I open my eyes. Looking down, I see the black and pink gown that's replaced my shirt and leggings and skirt. It's...It's incredible! Laughing, I follow the compulsion to twirl on my boots, letting the skirts flutter outward.

The woman claps her hands; "Oh, look at thee! As graceful as one of Lucifer's swans!"

The compliment is bizarre but feels accurate. It makes me chuckle again. I just want to twirl and twirl and dance in this beautiful forest...

"This is....This is so incredible!" I turn my head in time to see that we're far from being alone in these woods.

Animals are wandering all around. Red squirrels enjoying their acorns on the branches. Badgers poking their noses out their dens. Gorgeous white stags and does wandering out towards the meadow, completely at ease among the presence of ghosts.

And there's more. Fairies, good fairies, sit chatting beside the squirrels. There are people standing nearby, tall and lithe with pointed ears. Elves? What I believe might be two centaurs trot together in the distance...

I did not die. I just finally found my Narnia. My Oz. My Middle Earth.

"Is...Is this all real?" I ask the woman behind me.

She smiles; "As real as you want it to be, little'en. T'is your home. You only need to ask and it shall be yours."

It's all too good to be true. I want to cry again but this time with tears of disbelief and overwhelming joy.

There's a roar. A great loud roar above.

I crane my head and see the most magnificent sight. A great blue scaled dragon flies above the canopy, it's magnificent pointed wings overshadowing nearly the whole forest.

Clasping my hands over my mouth, the tears fall.

"No need to fear them, darling girl. Them beasts be perfectly tame. Woulds thee desire to ride one?"

I sob, laughing also; "Yes, yes, fuck yes!!" If this is a dream then I never, ever want it to end.

The woman approaches me. She reaches a hand to touch my lengthened hair, nearly longer than hers.

"Before we do, I has but three rules for thee to follow."

Three? I blink at her.

"W-what are they?" I ready myself to the downside.

"Rule one. That which shall be very easy." She smiles and strokes my face; "Is that you be a good girl and always do as I say."

A...good girl? It sounded dangerous to agree to such a concept. But...if in return it meant magic and dragons then....

I nod; "I will. I'll be good."

"I know you will. Yous already be perfect." She grins; "The seconds is, you do nots ever venture towards the big house."

"The...The big house?" I frown. Right. There was a big old house....

"It be full of those who despise our kind; those who practice the Old Ways. They wills not hesitate to cause you harm, my child. They will nots care for how young you be, they will show you no mercy. Stay within these woods or close to Mummy or Mummy's ally. Understood?"

I nodded, feeling a little confused. I thought no one was in that house except an old rich lady?

But I agree. What could I possibly want in that house anyway?

"And....rule three?"

Smoke began to billow around the witch as her ember irises shone bright.

"The most important of them! The one ye must obey without fail!" The woman's voice thundered with authority.

Quivering a little, I wait with my breath held back.

She smiles, the smoke dispersing; "Thou dost whate'er makes ye happy, every single day! Think thou can manage that, my lovely girl?"

Her hands reach for me in my shock at her little trick and....she's tickling me.

Breaking into a fit of giggles, I try to push her off but she's much stronger. When was the last time I was tickled? By who? Dad...probably....fuck it's been so long...

"Can thee, cheeky little wench? Can thee?" The witch persists, needling my sides and armpits with those fingers as I squirm.

"YES!" I cry out in laughter.

She wraps her strange arms around my middle, strong enough that my feet leave the ground.

"Yes what, darling girl?"

Breathless, I surrender the last ounce of resistance that was holding me back. Fuck it. Whatever craziness this is, no matter how wrong or twisted, it's a thousand times better than anything I've had. Anything I'll ever have.

I slump in her embrace, still giggling, wrapping my arms tight around the one shining beacon saving me from an eternity of darkness and pain. With two little words, I give myself and my sanity over to her.

"Yes, Mummy!"

[7ndipity]

Hiiii! Happy New Year and congratulations on the 2K followers!! You totally deserve it, your writing is top tier ❤️ I hope the shipping game isn't over, but if it is, feel free to ignore! :)

I am a college student, and my sign is Cancer, and my personality is basically this: I am a smartass who owns it, clumsy af-always keeps breaking and losing stuff, has a teensy bit of leader instinct, pretty good at speeches, but at the same time I'm pretty childish, and people immediately assume I am very innocent due to my babyface��� when in fact I'm not lmao. I'm very good at using my cuteness to get my way, no one can resist me hehehe and I'd also call myself a pretty good singer! But I can get whiny and pouty when I don't get my way. I am a girlie girl who still loves pink lol! I love reading books so much that I forget the world around me when I start a book. I love music, especially singing. I can also be dramatic af. I am also hopelessly romantic, and want to be swept off my feet. I'm super optimistic, and try to look at the bright side. I can also be crazy and weird at times. Also can get ridiculously clingy - I'm a very lovely dovey person, I'll be randomly hugging and smooching my loved ones whenever I feel like it, and the sort of person to blurt out ily at the most random times. I love it when ppl remember a very teensy weeny detail about me and when they take the effort to try something just cause I recommended it. Especially if it's books and music. I have a very dumb sense of humour, and I tend to be unintentionally funny to people. I've also got a very short temper, and the moment my patience wears thin shit goes down and I turn into a screaming banshee lol.

Physically, I'm a shortie so I get teased very much about it and tho I've gotten used to it over the years it still bothers me. Also super insecure about my thicc thighs and big butt 😩 andddd I have a very tiny button nose which again was the butt of many jokes since school but I've learnt to embrace my cute nose! I do have a nice dimpled smile and that's the only physical feature about myself that I like. My eyes are kinda big too, not bambi-big, but still, pretty big. Again, like I mentioned, I have a babyface so people think I'm still in school 💀 and my high pitched voice doesn't help either.

In short, people describe me as a cute, smart and sunshiney person. I think that pretty much sums me up! Whoops that turned out longer than expected, sorry :(

Looking forward to your answer, and thank youuuu in advance! You're the best 🫰🏼

I would ship you with Jin, and maybe Tae! They're both classic romantics, and are quite physically affectionate, though in slightly different ways, and although they're quite stubborn and dramatic too, I think they would potentially match your energy.

I think Jin's into that classic girly girl vibe(he would also be into princess treatment), so he would find your style and energy quite attractive(Also, I firmly believe that he’s a thighs man, and I will die on that hill) Plus, he would love that you have a similar silly sense of humor, the man needs someone to laugh at his dad jokes!

Tae also has a love for softer, sweet styles, and he’s also has that cuter, baby-ish energy at times, but with that mischievous nature underneath, which means you'd both see right through your games, but you'd still go along with them anyways, lol!(Also Capricorns are supposed to be a good match for Cancers)

Hope this was alright💜