#but fear not! for he has been saved just in time and will be getting the help he needs
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He's drunk when he sends it. Pissed because Buck won't just let this die. Tired of seeing his name flash across his screen, texts full of anger and sadness and hurt.
I suspect you've already met your last and it's not me he sends, and then turns off his phone and reaches for the bottle of whiskey on his top shelf.
---
If he'd been sober he would have known better. It's not even like it's been a pervasive thought - just an inkling at the start of things that seemed to be completely off base once he got to know everyone better, but looking back... He can see it. The built in life. The steadfast support. The knowledge that they'd always, always have each other's back. The kid who hero worshipped him.
The thing is he's fielding texts from Eddie, too, checking in and then circling around to being so goddamn judgmental that it's like they've coordinated their attacks to give Tommy no room to breathe.
He ended it to save himself from slipping so far under the surface he wouldn't make it back.
The fact that he's lost them both to his own fear is icing on the cake for the demon on his shoulder that keeps trying to remind him that once upon a time he'd fully thought Eddie and Buck were amicable exes.
---
He has to blink to figure out who's standing on his doorstep. The mustache is gone.
"If you meant who I think you mean, you're dumber than you look," Eddie says, and shoulders past Tommy before Tommy can even muster an affronted expression.
Tommy wanders after Eddie into his own kitchen, immediately annoyed that he looks more at home there than Tommy has felt in weeks. He'd gotten used to the loft - the space, the echoes, the lights of the city. The smell of his own aftershave on Buck's pillow.
They never spent much time here. The loft was closer - to Harbor, to the 118, to all the things in the city that tempted them out for a night. And staying at the loft meant he wouldn't have the echoes of Buck in every room, around every corner. (The echoes are in him, instead, and he still feels the absence like a lanced wound.) Tommy has always been good at making other people think he's good at putting distance between himself and them.
Eddie digs in a drawer, pulls out the bottle opener shaped like a cow and pops two tops. Holds one out for Tommy and scowls when Tommy wrinkles his nose at the Corona.
"Absolutely screw you if you think I'm driving halfway across town for you just to get the ones you like, right now."
Tommy can't argue that. He takes a drag and swallows. Stares. Is everyone else experiencing whiplash seeing him without the mustache? It looks fine but it'd taken so much fucking work to get used to it and now it's just gone. Clean shaven, an acre of skin he hasn't seen in months.
Tommy blinked and the entire world was different. Tommy freaked and the world changed.
"What are you doing here?"
Eddie's eyebrows both lift, a frank Are You Fucking Serious look on his face that makes Tommy want to take him to the mats and have it out in the garage instead of over beers.
"Buck may be spinning his wheels trying to figure out what the fuck you meant but I know damn well what you were implying."
That seems unlikely. Eddie always seems to be the last person to have a single clue what was going on, with Buck scraping in just before him. It's a tight race.
He used to find it charming.
(He absolutely does not still find it charming, he tells his heart, and wonders if he could hire some tiny asshole gnome to go stomp around in an atrium or two and get it to stop doing what it's doing. Fucking traitor.)
"Do you actually believe that, or is it some dumb excuse because you're terrified of being happy?"
Oh, that's fucking rich.
Tommy opens his mouth to tell him exactly that but Eddie just steamrolls right by him. "You don't have to point out the hypocrisy, jackass. I'm well aware of my own issues. Thing is - you're like, almost right. Buck does make me happy. Next to Chris there's no one else in the world I'd rather have by my side, rain or shine, good or bad. I love him. He's my person."
Tommy rolls his jaw. It's not a vindication to hear it.
"Except I'm not gay, Tommy. And I don't want that. I never have. And neither does Buck, just in case that argument was about to hit the airwaves."
"How do you know?"
Something sparks in the back of Eddie's eyes. Understanding. Triumph.
"You want an itemized list or a demonstration?"
Which is when Tommy knows he's stepped into an absolute minefield. No markers. Just free balling his way through a conversation that could explode with even the slightest pressure.
Eddie's got his phone out.
None of this is ideal.
When he looks up, his eyes land squarely on Tommy, who would like in this moment to be able to curl so far in on himself he gets sucked clean through the other side. "First of all, Buck may have just been improvising his entire journey of sexuality but for once I was trying to get ahead of the curve so that whole starry-eyed newly not straight vision you have of Buck is bullshit. You let him pull you along by the shirt strings for months without pressing pause and then you freak out when he thinks his speed and your speed are the same speed?"
This is feeling a whole lot like an ambush, now.
"Did you ever even try to slow him down?"
Tommy has some choice words that aren't remotely appropriate to say to someone who is at least tangentially still his friend, so he takes another swig of shitty beer. God, this shit is awful.
"You wanna know how I know I'm not his one? How I know he's not mine?"
Tommy really, really doesn't. Honestly he'd like to kick him out.
"Because he went at our friendship at the same warp speed pace he took your relationship and it never fucking scared me."
Proof in the pudding, for Tommy. He's not the sort of jackass who actually thinks he can make a different judgement call on someone else's sexuality than the one they've made themselves, but come on.
"Shannon's been dead for half a decade," Eddie says, voice dropping so suddenly Tommy feels it like an icy draft. "And maybe one day I'll make my peace with that. Maybe one day I'll get out from under it. The point is I've lost them both and the loss wasn't the goddamn same."
"Buck came back," Tommy argues.
Eddie scoffs. Wrinkles his nose. "Jeez, he wasn't kidding about how weird that sounds." His phone buzzes on the countertop, and Tommy wonders what the hell that look on his face means. "Don't change the subject. I'm not here to talk you into anything. I'm just here to drink a beer with you and tell you how goddamn stupid it is to think that an uncertain future with Evan Buckley isn't worth every second of terror it causes you."
"You don't know me as well as you think you do."
Eddie tips the bottle against his lips. Swallows. God, why hadn't Tommy just pursued the self-proclaimed straight guy for a couple weeks before he scratched the itch somewhere else and kept a friend, instead?
"Maybe." Eddie tips his head. "Maybe I do, though. Maybe in the months and months you were invited to all my mopey nights in with Buck and all the crazy crap we end up involved in at the station and all the times you couldn't shut up about him when he wasn't around and all the times I got to see you falling ass over teakettle for my best friend, I learned a fucking thing or two about Tommy Kinard." He wags his head back and forth. "Maybe."
"Is there a point to this?"
Eddie tips his eyes to his phone, and it's probably too late at this point for the suspicion to begin to creep in.
"I mostly just came to confront you about your completely off base bullshit excuses, but there's actually a pretty simple solution to at least one of your multitude of issues, so. Now we're waiting."
Tommy doesn't like the sound of that at all.
"Chris is mad at you, by the way."
It's a distraction. It's fully a - "Why is he mad at me?"
"I should actually thank you, because it's the first time he's actively talked to me in months," Eddie continues, like Tommy hadn't asked a question. "He's pissed because Buck is sad and there's literally nothing in the world that gets a rise out of the Diaz boys like sad Buck."
"You can just say you're pissed at me and go, Eddie."
"Oh I'm angry. Don't think I'm not. Mostly I'm just sad for you. You had six months to get to know Buck and never thought to yourself 'hes going to love me and it's going to hurt' until he skipped too far ahead in the program."
And that's - kind of the final straw. He's let Eddie get his licks in. He deserves it, he knows he does. Honestly it's a little cathartic to hear - to know exactly what Buck has spent his time dissecting post-Tommy. "That's all I ever thought about. Do you think I didn't know going in? I tried to put a stop to it before it even started and he just doubled down! Do you think for a second I wasn't viscously aware that I was setting myself up for -."
No. He's not gonna say it. He's not giving that to Eddie when he couldn't even give it to Ev-Buck. When he couldn't give it to Buck.
Eddie looks victorious anyway.
"And for six months you thought it was worth it."
"For six months I was too much of a coward to stop thinking about it."
Eddie drains the rest of his beer. "I'm not gonna lie. You screwed up pretty bad. Like. Astronomically bad. Giving up your location in a firefight bad."
Tommy does everything he can not to wince.
"It's salvageable, though. If you want it to be. If there's anything I know about Buck it's that second chances are his bread and butter." He's been dancing around saying anything of substance about Buck's feelings, in all of this, but the hints are there. As if the bouts of angry-depressive texts from Buck weren't clue enough.
"And what if it's not what I want?"
Eddie's eyes dart to his phone one more time. "Then you can make it a clean break in about ... three and a half minutes."
Tommy nearly tosses his beer across the room.
#bucktommy#bucktommy fic#tevan fic#eddie&tommy#theres a part two to this that may or may not see the light of day
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PRIMAL — Weapon X!Logan
Summary: You are right where he wants and won't escape the subject's twisted mind.
Warnings: heavy non-con smut, dark stuff, mentions of being tortured, female!reader. Read at your own risk tbh, thank you if you do though. Someone pls write more Weapon X! Logan, I'm going crazy at this point.
GEN MASTERLIST!
He has you exactly where he wants. Between the concrete and his intimidating aura. Your eyes are glossy, chest going up and down, ready to be the next victim. His last one.
You study the Weapon X subject one more time. He’s broad and muscular, strong frame with adamantium bones, claws out his knuckles as he walks to you, full in his naked glory. Stains of blood start to dry off on his chest, abdomen and shoulders. And even though in other circumstances he would make a good-looking man, he is far from being one now.
He is not human anymore, he is an animal. And you had been part of the experiments since the beginning. For some reason, he had saved you last from all the personnel of the base. A twisted and sick choice.
Logan takes the last two steps towards you, closing the distance. He can smell your fear, sense the shaking of your whole body, the beating of your heart… He had been watching you, paying special attention to you each time he could. Your voice, your silhouette, your job, your routines around the lab. Everything you did he had learned.
And now, after killing and dismantling the place, leaving a horrid trade of bodies and red around, he feels like finishing everything with you.
He doesn’t know your name, he just knows you were part of them and he fucking hates it.
How could such a pretty thing like you could bear torturing a lost soul like him? He growls at the thought, leaning until his nose is almost touching yours.
You gasp loud, the echoes of your breathing filling the empty place. Your eyes shut and you feel tears running down your cheek.
“Logan…”
He replies with a deep groan again, taking in the scent of your neck and the salty sweat covering your skin. Oh and how he loves the reactions of your body as he traces his way to the shell of your ear with his nose.
“Please… You- you’re not like this…”
Begging would do nothing, he knows it. You keep begging and begging, calling his name as he takes in the features of your face, eyes barely opening. And when you cross glances, besides the fear on your gaze, he can sense something else building on you: arousal. It’s not the first time he’s sensed it on you, but sure he will take out his own suffering and frustrations on that.
“Logan…”
Claws come close, cutting your blouse and bra off. He rips the fabric with his hands before your trousers and panties come off the same way. You squirm and cry, but don’t make any effort on pushing him away because you know he would win the same. He’s massive, stronger, and dangerous. He’s a weapon you helped to build, and compared to him, you are nothing.
Probably he will get vengeance by tearing you apart, forcing you on the smudged, cold floor. He’s all over you, not quite giving kisses but bruises with his lips and teeth on your neck, biting on your skin, legs wide as he feels your wet cunt against his hard cock.
You cry his name, more like a moan, when he forces himself inside your tight walls without any preparation. He’s animalistic, erratic, growling, almost howling, like a dog in heat.
The scratch of your nails do nothing. He pounds harder into your abused cunt, tearing an orgasm out of you. He spills himself in seconds, feeling your walls around him sucking him completely, and he continues fucking you over and over his own high, increasing the sensitive feeling between your legs. And just as you think Logan is over by how quick he keeps rutting on you, hips making an obscene noise every time he buries balls deep inside your cunt, it feels like he goes faster, harder, that it becomes too much and you cling into him with nails and loud whimpers, sore throat crying into the void.
He comes a second time with a deep moan, filling you up once again and you do nothing but take it. Slowly, he pumps his white seed into you until he fully stops inside your abused, needy pussy.
The primitive need to kill now is replaced with a more primal urge, and you would be perfect for that from now on.
#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x female reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine smut#wolverine x female reader#x men smut#x men fanfiction#weapon x!logan#weapon x!logan x reader#dark fic
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I'm reviewing episode transcripts from "Merlin" to build up my worldbuilding document (character list, mostly) and, a little ways into S2, I'm kind of feeling like the show is actually quite mean to Arthur as a character sometimes? S1 E14: "To Kill the King" is one of those episodes where I forget how badly it pissed me off until I run into it again.
Like, don't get me wrong, Arthur can be a bully, entitled, hotheaded, and reckless, but he's also at this point risked his own life to save people multiple times. Both individuals whose lives were "worth less" than his own (getting the Mortaeus flower for a poisoned Merlin, smuggling Mordred out of the city, protecting Ealdor from bandits) and also Camelot as a whole (fighting the plague-causing monster in the sewers, fighting the mam-eating griffin, drinking poison to lift the unicorn curse).
Arthur is giving me vibes of being both bored and frustrated (and probably not able to name those feelings or exactly why he has them) because he wants so badly to do good things, but he's not really sure how to go about it because (no one ever tells him anything, he almost NEVER knows what's really going on to make informed choices, and) he's also stuck under the thumb of his tyrannical father, who spends most of their scenes together berating Arthur for being too merciful, for not being dutiful enough, and/or not finding sorcerers for execution fast enough. When Arthur tries to be fair-minded and compassionate, Uther often essentially tells him that he's going to be a weak king with that attitude.
Arthur's pathways to betterment are limited, his parent and role model and boss here is an AWFUL person, but he's trying!
So, it's quite frustrating to get to this one episode where characters like Gaius (extremely biased, admittedly, clearly not an objective individual) are saying things like: "Arthur's not ready. The responsibility would be too great. Brave though he may be, he lacks experience, he lacks judgement."
Like, I don't know, Arthur may be only 21 and kind of a dipshit, but I personally think he'd still do a better job than the guy who tried to kill a kid (Mordred) just for existing a few episodes ago? Maybe? Gwen's father, who wasn't even a sorcerer or knowingly working with one, is dead explicitly because of Uther's awful laws. Did everyone in this episode forget that Uther tried to BURN GWEN ALIVE AT THE STAKE not that long ago (Episode 3)?
ARTHUR: "[Morgana]'s right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen."
UTHER: "You saw it for yourself. She used enchantments."
ARTHUR: "Yes, maybe. But to save her dying father, that doesn't make [Gwen] guilty of creating a plague. One's the act of, of kindness, of love, the other of evil. I don't believe evil's in this girl's heart."
UTHER: "I have witnessed what witchcraft can do. I have suffered at its hand. I cannot take that chance. If there is the slightest doubt about this girl, she must die or the whole kingdom may perish."
ARTHUR: "I understand that."
UTHER: "One day you may become King. Then you will understand. Such decisions must be made. There are dark forces that threaten this kingdom."
ARTHUR: "I know. Witchcraft is an evil, father. So is injustice. Yes, I am yet to be King, and I don't know what kind of king I will be, but I do have a sense of the kind of Camelot I would wish to live in. It would be where the punishment fits the crime."
UTHER: "I fear you're right. She's played with fire, and sadly she must die by fire."
When the adult druid (Cerdan) accompanying Mordred is killed (Episode 8), Arthur objects afterwards! On his own! While Arthur is sometimes an active participant in Uther's tyranny and otherwise complicit, he's been told all of his life that magic is inherently evil and corrupting, he was raised by the very man spreading this hateful philosophy, he should probably hate magic more than anyone after Uther, and yet he still disagrees with Uther's methods and judgments. Even though Uther is apparently VERY willing to lock both his son (Episode 4) and his ward (Episode 8) in the dungeons for disagreeing with him and disobeying him!
ARTHUR: The Druid was only in Camelot to collect supplies. He meant no harm. Is it necessary to execute him?
UTHER: Absolutely necessary. Those who use magic cannot be tolerated.
ARTHUR: The Druids are a peaceful people.
UTHER: Given the chance, they would return magic to the kingdom. They preach peace, but conspire against me. We cannot appear weak.
ARTHUR: Showing mercy can be a sign of strength.
UTHER: Our enemies will not see it that way. We have a responsibility to protect this kingdom. Executing the Druid will send out a clear message. Find the boy. Search every inch of the city.
Obviously, running a kingdom is complicated! Uther apparently won Camelot by conquest and is in conflict with many of the neighboring kings, including Odin and Cenred, and likely has more of the respect of the local nobility than young Arthur does. Uther's death would create some instability! (Agravaine de Bois hasn't been created yet, but let's assume there are many other potential vultures.)
But the show generally isn't pushing that angle. This isn't really about smooth transitions of power. Personally, concerning Arthur's "lack of judgment", I do find his ready conviction that it is his duty to die for Camelot's honor if necessary (he says as much to Merlin explicitly before fighting Valiant in Episode 2, then again before fighting the Black Knight in Episode 9) more than a little concerning, but that doesn't seem to be angle pushed here either.
The show has characters (Merlin, Gwen, Gaius) suggesting that offing the King, who regularly kills innocent people whether they have magic or not, who has forbidden use of the tool that might have saved innocent people from Nimueh's plague or the wraith of Tristan de Bois, would be wrong! It would be murder and murder is bad! It would make (in the words of a grieving Gwen) her "just as bad" as him.
Even though Merlin has at this point already killed Aulfric and Sophia (Episode 7), as well as Mary Collins (Episode 1) because they were trying to kill Arthur. And arguably got an assist with Valiant (Episode 2). And will kill many more as the show goes on. This conversation with Kilgharrah in S1 E14 is in many ways so, so funny:
KILGHARRAH: Well, young warlock, what is it you come to ask of me?
MERLIN: I need your help.
KILGHARRAH: Of course you do, but this time, will you heed my words?
MERLIN: The sorcerer Tauren is plotting to kill the King. He's made an ally of Morgana. I don't know what to do!
KILGHARRAH: Do… nothing.
MERLIN: What do you mean? If I do nothing, Uther will die.
KILGHARRAH: Don't you want Uther dead? It is Uther that persecutes you and your kind, Merlin. It is Uther that murders the innocent…
MERLIN: But surely that doesn't make it right to kill him.
KILGHARRAH: Only if Uther dies can magic return to the land. Only if Uther dies will you be free, Merlin. Uther's reign is at an end. Let Arthur's reign begin. Fulfil your destiny!
[The dragon flies off.]
MERLIN: Wait! Where does it say my destiny includes murder?
KILGHARRAH: Free this land from tyranny, Merlin! Free us all!
I feel for Kilgharrah here. He was VERY straightforward. I don't know how he could have been clearer about this.
I won't say that Merlin's character writing doesn't make ANY sense here (I do think the character writing in this show is NOT amazingly consistent), because... he IS being influenced by Gaius, who is, unfortunately, a bootlicker and also probably extremely traumatized by all of the death he's seen (big contributor of the bootlicking) (also, apparently Gaius only becomes a "freeman" at the end of Episode 6, so there's that). And Merlin is also being heavily influenced by Arthur, who loves his father, despite everything. For Arthur's sake, if no one else's, Merlin will go out of his way to save Uther. Sure! That tracks!
Merlin spends a lot of time in this show protecting a terrible status quo under some assumption that Camelot will... somehow suddenly become better under Arthur? Instead of perhaps eventually just trusting Arthur and talking to him after their years of knowing each other? There are several, in-world reasons for this and I don't think they're all unrealistic! It's tense! It's thrilling sometimes!
(Though I am ultimately a little annoyed that Merlin's many secrets never really come out and get dealt with by the characters, because that would have been fun drama and some resolution to all the tension, even if the story did still end in death.)
There's some tasty tragedy in this silly show, in many ways. Merlin is confused and conflicted and scared and without clear guidance in many ways. Kilgharrah is mysterious and not at all reassuring. Gaius is complacent and (very reasonably) incredibly secretive. Merlin doesn't get to see many of the moments where Arthur speaks up for magical people and tries to talk Uther down. Morgana and Arthur are both stuck here in a "The hands that cradled you are covered in an unimaginable amount of blood." "But they cradled me, yes?" nightmare scenario. (There's also a sexist element where male characters like Gaius and Merlin won't let Morgana know about her own powers "for her own good" in a gaslight-y way that's fascinating to me in how it creates a villain.)
But, also, the compelling tragic elements here don't make certain episodes any less frustrating to watch in their execution. (I don't think villains being frustrating to watch or read necessarily makes them effective villains, especially when what I really find annoying here is the heroes' reactions to the villain. Uther has killed SO MANY PEOPLE! FOR NO REASON!) Especially when a lot of the overall results of this show often feel more accidental than purposeful. I do understand why the writers keep Uther around! He's a formidable antagonist to have looming all over the place and the actor is fun.
But OOF, I felt that "Do... Nothing".
Merlin! MERLIN! LISTEN TO THE SCARY DRAGON! MERLIN, REMEMBER THAT TIME UTHER TRIED TO BURN GWEN ALIVE??? JUST BECAUSE GWEN IS TOO NICE TO GO AFTER UTHER WITH A KNIFE AND TAKE REVENGE, IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY MEAN KILLING HIM MAKES YOU "JUST AS BAD"!!! MERLIN!!! YOU HAVE ALREADY MURDERED MULTIPLE PEOPLE WHO KILLED WAY LESS PEOPLE THAN UTHER!!!
In Episode 4, Morgana says to Uther: "You can't chain [Arthur] up every time he disagrees with you." This implies to me that Uther has had Arthur thrown in the dungeons before. In Episode 3, Arthur says to Morgana: "Father will slam us both in chains if he knew I'd endangered you," and maybe he wasn't at all joking with that? Arthur is rattling the bars of his cell here, apparently fairly ready to be aimed wherever Merlin points him, bucking against being aimed at innocents by his tyrant of a father.
But nooo, Gaius says Arthur is "not ready yet" because...??? He seems less hotheaded than Uther to me, honestly. Are his tax policies not up to par yet? You can hire a guy for that. Suggesting that Arthur would be in any way worse than His Majesty "Anyone Who Talks To A Sorcerer Gets Executed Even If They Didn't Know They Were A Sorcerer" feels quite mean to Arthur, really. I think he'd do alright, in comparison, Gaius who lies to the King every single day, but I suppose you sometimes want to be a loyal friend to good ol' King "Made Merlin Drink Poison That One Time And Wouldn't Let Anyone Go Get The Cure". Good for you. Bad for everyone else.
Like, I know, I know this show is not very deep. I like that all of the characters are flawed and fumble a lot! I even kind of enjoy that it ultimately ends in death with so many loose emotional threads. It is a weekly burst of fantasy nonsense that is not especially concerned with consistency in worldbuilding or characters from episode to episode. But the executive discrepancies here are, like the ones in "Star Wars", weirdly fascinating with all of the holes and wobbly bits it creates.
This show: "Yes, our hero has once again saved the tyrannical king who kills innocents! Preventing the oblivious prince from assuming the throne and trying to do better as he so clearly wants to do! Good work, Merlin, taking the high road (which involved murdering the rightfully angry people trying to kill the tyrannical king) again!"
Me, every time: "...I am genuinely not sure how the show wants us to interpret this. What did they think they were doing with this? Was this always meant to be a tragedy from the first season? Because personally, I'm getting some kind of tragedy from this."
#tossawary merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#long post#tossawary watching#spoilers#character death
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hi do you know how the female character can get kidnapped by a villain? i'm writing about something that has to deal with angels and all, and am kinda stuck with how the female lead can get kidnapped by the male lead's enemy who is the villain. and how he can save her. thank you! love your works.
Writing Notes: Kidnapping
A criminal offense consisting of the unlawful taking and carrying away of a person by force or fraud, or the unlawful seizure and detention of a person against their will.
In all countries, it is considered a grave offense punishable by a long prison sentence or death.
Motives for Kidnapping
The principal motives for kidnapping are:
to subject the victim to some form of involuntary servitude,
to expose him/her to the commission of some further criminal act against his/her person, or
to obtain ransom for his/her safe release.
More recently, kidnapping for the purpose of extortion has become a tactic of political revolutionaries or terrorists seeking concessions from a government.
THE KIDNAPPED
In general terms, the psychological impact of being taken hostage is similar to that of being exposed to other trauma.
TYPICAL ADULT REACTIONS
Cognitive: impaired memory and concentration; confusion and disorientation; intrusive thoughts (‘flashbacks’) and memories; denial (i.e., that the event has happened); hypervigilance and hyperarousal (a state of feeling too aroused, with a profound fear of another incident);
Emotional: shock and numbness; fear and anxiety (but panic is not common); helplessness and hopelessness; dissociation (feeling numb and ‘switched off’ emotionally); anger (at anybody – perpetrators, themselves and the authorities); anhedonia (loss of pleasure in doing that which was previously pleasurable); depression (a reaction to loss); guilt (e.g., at having survived if others died, and for being taken hostage);
Social: withdrawal; irritability; avoidance (of reminders of the event).
Denial - a complete or partial failure to acknowledge what has really happened; has often been maligned as a response to extreme stress, but it has survival value (at least in the short term) by allowing the individual a delayed period during which he/she has time to adjust to a painful reality.
Two Extreme Reactions
Frozen fright - a paralysis of the normal emotional reactivity of the individual
Psychological infantilism - a reaction characterized by regressed behaviour such as clinging and excessive dependence on the captors
Learned Helplessness
May occur during extended periods of captivity.
In which individuals come to believe that no matter what they do to improve their circumstances, nothing is effective.
This is reminiscent of the automaton-like state reported by concentration camp victims (‘walking corpses’).
PHYSICAL REACTIONS
Hostages are likely to have to endure, particularly during sustained periods of captivity, an exacerbation of preexisting physical conditions, such as asthma and diabetes.
Also, the detention itself may generate new conditions due to a lack of the basics of healthy living, such as a nutritious diet, warmth, exercise, fresh air and sleep.
WRITING TIPS: THE ABDUCTION SCENE
Know your readers. Readers have expectations when they pick a novel category or genre. You could lose them with certain content. For the shock element, first construct a world where the victim lives in a secure cocoon with a happy routine and trust in their surroundings.
Be realistic. An abduction is action. There are a myriad of motives as to why someone would be kidnapped, and a thousand possible scenarios. The motives that drive the abduction, and the action sequences themselves, must be realistic. If readers don’t believe the reasoning behind the kidnapping, the scene deflates with no reader engagement. The key to realism is logic. Just as you methodically match puzzle pieces by color, size, or shape, a series of questions must be answered before you can interlock action sequences. Fitted together, the story flows because it makes sense. If it makes sense, the readers will accept and believe it.
Bring in personal dynamics early. As William Shakespeare shared in his brilliant writing more than 400 years ago, emotions—want, love, hate, jealousy, fear, joy—cause people to take extreme actions. Emotion is part of our personal dynamics, the reactive forces that drive us to respond to a situation in a certain way. A tip: Try bringing in the kidnap victim’s personal dynamics with family members and friends as soon as possible. This way, when the abduction occurs, the reader is emotionally invested and will be gripped by the fear and anxiety of the event. With personal dynamics, you control the story’s emotional thermostat.
Read the abduction scenes in your favourite crime novels or screenplays. Learn from other authors [Some Sample Quotes: 1 2]. Alternatively, you may consider researching real abduction cases for inspiration. Read background details of the victims and kidnapper, how it happened, and how they were rescued.
WORKSHEET: THE KIDNAP SCENE
Part I. From whose point of view is the scene? Put yourself in the character’s place and write what they are experiencing.
What do you want the reader to experience?
Firstly, what kind of person is your character? What would their personality permit them to do? How would they react?
Detail in advance who your character is. Are they young? Do they have any disabilities or weaknesses that can prevent them from fighting back?
Next, where is this scene located? A house would probably have to be broken into. Is the character alone? What if the scene is in public? Who is watching? Nowadays people are recording everything on their cell phones. Make sure to state whether there are witnesses or not.
Who is the kidnapper?
Is it someone the victim knows, or a complete stranger?
How do the kidnappers look like/act like? Do they wear a mask and black leather gloves? Or average clothes?
Why are they kidnapping the character? Does he/she plan on asking for ransom? Do they plan on assaulting the character? Killing them?
Detail the speed at which the scene is happening. Emphasise the worry and nerves of the kidnapper too. A great way to do this is by stating that they are sweating, breathing hard, rambling, or just “shushing” the victim.
Part II. Place the focus on the will to escape, dreams and thoughts your character is having about getting free.
Try inserting yourself in their place.
Now, describe physical things (for your character) such as nerves, common signs such as biting of lips, sweating, goose bumps on a person’s skin, the fear of being caught.
Depending on your character, they could manipulate the kidnappers and pretend to go along with their plan and/or pretend to be knocked out until an opportunity comes for them to fight back.
What tools and techniques does the kidnapper use? The scene should be in accordance with what kind of kidnappers (thugs, mastermind) you are describing. Keep in mind, thugs won’t plan a perfect abduction like a cold, calculating criminal.
Gagged, tied, put in a body bag.
Add if the character is blindfolded and if they try struggling to get away but ends up tripping instead and is pushed roughly back onto his/her feet.
Chloroform tends to knock out a person. If the victim is old, too young, not well built then chloroform works faster.
Tape over mouth is common to stop the victim from screaming, esp. duct tape.
Drugging food or beverages is a sly way a kidnapper can be anonymous.
If the victim seems to able to fight back then the kidnapper might use melee to soften them and then use whatever means necessary (e.g., drugs, chemicals).
Part III. Is anyone contacted?
Depending on why you want to write this scene, you must think about the loved ones.
Most likely the victim doesn’t have any way of contacting their loved ones. Therefore, the kidnapper holds the most control in this situation. The victim can try to convince the kidnapper to call their parents and tell them they are okay. In movies this happens quite often, and that’s when ransoms are made.
If they aren’t allowed to contact their loved ones, then the victim stays quiet and refuses to talk to anyone until they can have something that goes their way. But, this is only if torture isn’t involved. Otherwise, the victim will most likely open their mouth and start to talk. Remember, though, they can lie. If this whole thing is about money, they can lie.
Add another threat to heighten the stakes. Does the kidnapper tell the victim that they also have their parents? Or maybe if they tell them all the information they need, they’ll let the character go free? If they keep silent they’ll die? In other words, what is the next dilemma? Yes, they are kidnapped, but then what? What makes this whole ordeal that much dangerous?
How long are they held for? Where at and under what conditions?
The time can be anywhere from five minutes to several days or even weeks. It really depends on the motives behind the kidnapping. Usually, if the timeline is from five minutes to a full day you can write it out in full i.e., in real time. Otherwise, if it expands over several days and weeks, you can just sum it up in a paragraph or two.
Hopefully you stated where they are being located. If not, you can state it here. However, it’s not mandatory to say where. No need to go in detail, either. A simple: ‘The building was grey and old looking, but that’s all I knew’, would do.
Is the victim treated like well? Are they deprived of food or drink? Or, are they treated like royalty? Usually, if this happens, the victim might end up with Stockholm syndrome, where they actually start to like their captors.
Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Worksheets ⚜ Crime Fiction
So glad to hear this, thank you! Hope these notes help with your writing :)
#anonymous#writing reference#writing notes#fiction#writeblr#dark academia#spilled ink#writers on tumblr#creative writing#writing inspiration#writing ideas#writing prompt#literature#poets on tumblr#crime fiction#writing tips#light academia#writing resources
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my favourite christmas memory with my boyfriend is the time i brought him ice skating when we first started dating and he was unbelievably good at it (i was terrible, he saved my life multiple times) and then afterwards he casually says “i think that helped me start to get over my fear of ice skating” because he broke his arm doing it as a child and has been afraid of it ever since and i had to come to terms with the fact that i just unknowingly forced this man to face his trauma head on because i wanted to live my romantic christmas fantasy
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hey fam, welcome to the October round up of all my favorite fics i read this month!!
as a reminder: the ingredients for a five star rating typically (but not always!!) include some combination of a.) believable characterizations of both Hannibal and Will, b.) compelling plot and/or character arcs, and c.) high quality smut.
that being said, my judgment of the aforementioned ingredients is powered almost exclusively by vibes and as such, is incredibly subjective.
you can find past recs below:
February March April May June July August September
and if you have any recs of your own for me, PLEASE SHARE.
without further ado, let's go!
Mine to Touch by piginapoketuesday
Word Count: 14193 Summary: "You respond so well to hand feeding," Hannibal said, watching Will's hips squirm. "I'm considering binding you for every meal."Will's neck flushed with fear. Never being allowed to feed himself again. Learning to associate food with a swollen, untouched cock. Swallowing prettily and on command. His body betrayed him, and he moaned around the fork in his mouth.~Lots of constant stimulation, feeding kink, and orgasm denial. Also lots of love and care.
So I might have a handfeeding kink. Possibly. Who's to say?
A Game for Two by sourweather
Word Count: 7710 Summary: One Long Game. That's what their relationship has always been. And the game never seems to end, which suits them just fine.Some unhinged murder husband content for the soul
Pretty much anything from this author ends up getting a five star rating, and this one was no exception.
Focus and Curiosity by hesterbyrde
Word Count: 7029 Summary: If someone had told Will two months ago that he would wind up regularly sleeping with his psychiatrist, he would have laughed in their face. Not just once, but twice. First for the absurdity of the idea in general. Just the thought of someone carrying on a sexual relationship with their therapist was ridiculous. Never mind that it would also be wildly unethical and illegal. But then he would also laugh at the sheer thought of having a psychiatrist in the first place. He'd avoided them like the plague all his adult life, and largely succeeded save the required eval after he'd been stabbed in the line of duty back when he was a cop. Needless to say that hadn't gone well.But this arrangement with Hannibal Lecter was going very well, strangely enough. Hannibal seemed content to let Will steer the course of his therapy. When Will didn't feel like talking, Hannibal would keep the conversation superficial. Or they would talk about whatever case Will was currently working on for Jack. And when Will did feel like talking, he had to admit some of Hannibal's insights into the quandary of his personality were actually enlightening. And it didn't hurt that the sex was amazing.
THIS BETTER NOT AWAKEN ANYTHING IN ME. Deadass, this inspired me to upgrade my own nipple clamps, so. Do with that information what you will.
Quiet Asphodel by FKAHerSweetness
Word Count: 174475 Summary: Once upon a time, there was a great and just king. This king, long ago, adopted a son and groomed the young prince to hunt monsters that roamed the kingdom. One day, the prince comes upon a monster of wild proportions, both fierce and courteous. The prince vows to the monster: 'I will capture you, as my father bids me.' The monster makes his own vow to the prince: 'I will wed you, as my heart bids me.'
Holy fucking shit. Once again, a deeply uncomfortable and awesome read. Again, nobody is good in this fic. But with my whole chest, FUCK Jack Crawford.
Much Ado About Knotting by l3moncoffee
Word Count: 3352 Summary: “We have a warrant to search the premises!”“Surely you could have knocked,” Hannibal Lecter said, wrapping a protective arm around his Omega.—————————————————— The FBI & Baltimore City Homicide have their sights on the Lecters, a bonded Alpha-Omega pair suspected of torturing and cannibalizing their victims.A strike team is assembled to catch them red-handed, but they run into some unexpected knots along the way.
I need more of this. STAT.
Heart's Desire by Celinesits
Word Count: 34514 Summary: COMPLETEWhat if Hannibal Lecter was given a Love Potion that led him straight to Will Graham? Spending two weeks with your Heart’s Desire is a dream come true.Meanwhile, Will Graham is fulfilling his public duty by staying with Hannibal, but being smothered in affection forces Will to confront his increasingly confused feelings for Doctor Lecter. Thank you if you have supported this story- kudos and comments/bookmarks are so kind x ❤️Based on the characters created by Thomas Harris, and Hannibal TV show creator Bryan Fuller.
I loved how well this was executed, enough that I can forgive the very brief overlap with HP/FBWTFT. Also, very in character Hannibal.
double by YouAreMyDesign
Word Count: 3961 Summary: It took a long time before Will grew from actively fighting these gifts, to resigned acceptance, to eager anticipation. It's just one of those things that comes with dating Hannibal Lecter; gifts are a given. And Hannibal, he soon realized, loves seeing Will in things he's bought.
We see dom Will Graham and we black out.
Patience and Precision by hesterbyrde
Word Count: 6253 Summary: Will drove himself straight from the crime scene to Hannibal's house. He wasn't even halfway up the porch steps when the door cracked open to reveal Hannibal's chiseled face, his features all the sharper with lines of confusion and concern."Will, I wasn't expecting you. Is everything alright?" he asked, pulling the door open to allow Will inside.Will took in the sight for a moment, making a slow fuss of taking off his coat and brushing his shoes on the mat. Hannibal was not in a suit. Not even in casual wear. Rather he was wearing a pair of soft grey lounge pants and a cable knit red sweater. Will had the sudden urge to press his face into the fabric and see if the crimson yarn was as soft as it looked.
Nipple clamps are my kryptonite.
pick up your phone by abbymyg
Word Count: 1404 Summary: Alana calls Will at an inopportune time.
A reread!! I love this one so much.
Recognition by StratsWrote
Word Count: 3910 Summary: The video was simple, a man sat in a high-back chair with his legs spread and his hand between them. He had a magnificent cock, uncut, red, thick. Will loved that cock. He worshipped it in his mind. And watching it now, Will groaned in pleasure, sinking deeper into the bed with his own hand stroking himself. Will has a certain porn actor he's a fan of. He's never seen his face, but he knows every breath and groan and whimper he makes. When he meets Dr. Lecter, a consultant on the Shrike case, Will doesn't find him particularly interesting until in the midst of saving a life, he hears the same sighs and hums he's pleasured himself to coming from the doctor next to him.
Oh ideal. This was so hot.
Housekeeping by FKAHerSweetness
Word Count: 96562 Summary: Marriage is a creature living separate from its components. Yet it requires attention, tolerance and care. Have you seen it? Could you recognize its deep wounds - and which one of you inflicted them? And are they ready to heal? What do you really know about this illusory animal?
Holy shit. When I say this fic got under my skin in the best way possible, I truly mean that. Will is terrible. Honestly, so is Chilton. Hannibal is also not great. This is a story about not great people, but like a car crash, I simply couldn't look away. I love erotic psychological horror and this was ticking all of the boxes for me.
The Accident by TigerPrawn
Word Count: 1369 Summary: Sharing a bed results in unexpected intimacy.
And there was only one bed!!! I love.
Moth to the Flame by hannibae
Word Count: 4324 Summary: Will breathes out a laugh, arching his back in surprise when Hannibal presses the dry pad of a finger over his hole. “Nah,” he lets out, shaky and unsure, “I’ve been high before, but I’ve never—God, everything you do is perfect, isn’t it? Are you bad at anything?” It all feels too nice, Hannibal’s body solid and perfect against his own, his hands squeezing and kneading his flesh, his hips working up against Will’s own. It’s exactly how it shouldn’t be with Hannibal.
stoned Hannigram is absolutely delightful, this was so fucking HOT.
The Strangest Thing by foggys_cupcake_girl
Word Count: 3562 Summary: Will Graham is used to coming home and seeing his husband doing odd things, but he's never come home to find him with his head in a bag of Cheetos, with his hand down the toilet, or lying bare-naked in the living room after a shower.Or, that one where Hannibal tries to do a nice thing and ends up in way, WAY over his head.
STONED HANNIGRAM IS ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL.
Remember Me, I Ask by HigherMagic
Word Count: 10795 Summary: "Part of me was worried you were dead."It's not what he expected to hear, and Will's throat goes tight. The sheath of it is slicked with honey and afterburn, and his fingers flex on the arms of the chair. "You didn't used to let fear of consequences affect you," he replies."Until you."Settled into his life with Duncan, Will is ready to leave everything behind. Until Hannibal breaks out of prison. Will knows his time is limited.
This felt very in character, and was also hot as fuck.
Healthy Curiosity by orphan_account
Word Count: 1267 Summary: Restless, Abigail sneaks off to her fathers' bedroom in the middle of the night seeking comfort. She instead puts some of her curiosities to rest.
Fuck me, I do love voyeurism.
Teach Me a Lesson (Already Learned) by whenitstarted
Word Count: 3142 Summary: Will being married to Molly and cheating on her with Hannibal.
A reread that is still fabulous.
the leather runs smooth by drpeaceandlove
Word Count: 4960 Summary: "Are you... encouraging me to sleep with Molly?" Will kept his intent gaze trained upon Hannibal's face, finding that - even through his abilities to empathise with others - he could not discern anything wrong about Hannibal's current demeanour.A feline grin unfurled upon Hannibal's lips and he let out a faint exhalation of amusement, capturing Will's lips in yet another kiss."I am merely advising you, my dear." Hannibal insisted - something Will did not at all believe - and brought his hand back, much to Will's dismay. That disappointment was short-lived, however, when Hannibal began unbuckling the leather belt looped through Will's jeans. "Now, shall we begin our session?"----Or, Hannibal and Will are interrupted by a call during one of their therapy sessions.
Anything involving being railed while on a phone call is gonna make me INCREDIBLY happy.
All the Things that Make a Sound by sourweather
Word Count: 3330 Summary: Hannibal gets an unexpected call from Will while he's in prison. They don't speak, Will just wants Hannibal to listen.
Will calling Hannibal while Hanni's in prison to make him listen while Will fucks Molly? Amazing. Wish I could give this more than one star.
I Hope You'll Feed Me by DorianThey
Word Count: 3473 Summary: Trans!Will Graham hates getting his period, but Hannibal loves taking care of him while he’s bleeding. Especially when Will needs an endorphin boost…
This was hot. That's all.
Cuisine Euphonique by thecountessolivia
Word Count: 35321 Summary: Nightmares brought on by a gruesome case lead Will to some unorthodox therapy in the form of a YouTube cooking channel.[Completed]
So this was a reread and I'm still obsessed with it.
Instinct by solarteacup
Word Count: 5329 Summary: Hannibal took another sip of wine, then reached out with both hands to cup Will’s face. He moved slowly, intentionally. His fingers caressed from the point of Will’s chin through the coarse dark hair of his beard, fanning out to his cheeks. When his fingertips reached Will’s ears, he stopped, cradling Will’s jaw in his palms while his thumbs brushed against old scars. He smiled, eyes moving from Will’s reflective gaze down to his slightly parted lips. “Instinct is nothing more than lessons learned and skills acquired over millions of years of self-preservation. Genetic patterns built to keep us alive without thinking. Legs to run or kick, arms to climb or scratch…” “And mouths to bite?” Will spoke low, eyes darting across Hannibal’s, unsure where to settle his gaze. Hannibal hummed. “The mouth serves many, many purposes." ______________ aka Hannibal gives Will anatomy lessons on what he and his mouth were built for.
Oh dear. I fear this has awoken something in me.
it’s only a matter of time before we all burn by madeofbees
Word Count: 11963 Summary: help, please voice cracking 2:13am blinking the world on and off. The flashing he couldn’t trust the time a power outage a will outage he needed to check his phone couldn’t tolerate hannibal away from his ear what do you need will heavy with sleep composed and solid propping will up keeping him from flying apart, shattering like a fragile teacupi need you to make it stop—will has a panic attack, hannibal fixes it
THIS WAS SO FUCKING GOOD AND SO FREAKIN' HOT.
you are the shower of light i devour by madeofbees
Word Count: 26255 Summary: Will has spent his life on suppressants, living as a beta, repressing as much of his sexuality as he can. It’s easier, raises fewer questions. But suppressants only work so well for so long, and chronic overuse only makes the eventual heat worse. Still, he rests easy knowing that he’s perceived as a beta, and therefore is safe.Until his psychiatrist casually mentions it’s been a while since his last heat, and does he require any assistance?Yes, actually. He does.—Almost exclusively smut, with a dash of trauma!angst, heavily seasoned with obliviously and incorrectly assumed one-sided feels.
I do adore a good chronic overuse of suppressants leads to an intense heat trope.
looked up at the sky and it was maroon by madeofbees
Word Count: 15852 Summary: Will accidentally sends Hannibal a dick pic and Hannibal loses his shit. That’s it that’s the story.eta: now with edits!
i LOVE Hannibal nearly setting his home on fire because of a dick pic from Will. absolutely amazing, 10/10.
Doctor Lecter’s Fabulously Buff Investigator by TheSilverQueen
Word Count: 5625 Summary: Online conferences due to the quarantine are how Doctor Lecter's colleagues learn that: 1) Doctor Lecter has a beautiful home; 2) Doctor Lecter is married; and 3) Doctor Lecter's husband is fabulously buff.
This was very silly and I loved it.
I Only Have Eyes For You by sourweather
Word Count: 3827 Summary: Will gets so, so bored at Hannibal's dinner parties. But they're dating, so he can't exactly say no. So one night, he decides to have some fun, and tries to make Hannibal jealous by flirting with one of the guests. It doesn't go how Will expected.
Another re-read, another one that's still incredible.
Caught in the Act by UndeadRobby
Word Count: 2829 Summary: A collection of oneshots where Hannibal and Will get caught in... compromising positions.
Amazing.
Will Graham's Unconventional Health Care Proxy by UndeadRobby
Word Count: 3383 Summary: "It appears our dear friend Will Graham was in an accident, and is currently unconscious at Johns Hopkins. They needed someone to consent to continued treatment on his behalf, now that they have completed the actively life-saving treatment.”Frederick blinks. “And… he listed you as his healthcare proxy? Not, oh, I don’t know, his wife? Jack Crawford? Alana Bloom? A dog?”
Hannibal being Will's healthcare proxy and rubbing it in everyone else's face is hysterical and I loved it.
Like a Room Without a Roof by halotolerant
Word Count: 52881 Summary: Will is an awkward, single Submissive who has to get a temporary partner so he can pass an Alignment Health Assessment for his job. Hannibal is a Dom agreeable to low-level ‘sessions’ in which no sex or feelings will get involved.None of that works out quite to plan.
This was such a fun take on a BDSM AU!!
Make the world go quiet - sensory deprivation by Incidentsofunknownorigins
Word Count: 6071 Summary: Back in America 4th of July weekend,Will is triggered by fireworks and past trauma, Hannibal finds a way to distract him.
Trauma response mitigated by sex? Say less. Also written by a friend!
Hummingbird by sourweather
Word Count: 5416 Summary: Will and Hannibal have been seeing each other for a few months. They're keeping things pretty casual, sneaking around behind closed doors. Until Will finds out he's pregnant with Hannibal's baby.
This was fluffy goodness.
Pupping Season. by TheDarkestMindWithin
Word Count: 2377 Summary: Will's ready for pups, Hannibal remains adamant he is not.
This is exactly what I want out of a non-con scenario, holy SHIT. This was also a reread.
Captive by sixtieshairdo
Word Count: 1436 Summary: “What would Franklyn do if he saw you like this?” He relishes the way he can feel Hannibal’s cock twitch inside him whenever he clenches around him just a little tighter. “What would Jack do if he saw you like this?” The thought that Jack would disapprove of his relationship with Hannibal only makes Will spread his thighs wider, fucking down onto Hannibal’s cock faster, mind-drunk on how he can hear the sounds of his ass cheeks clapping. He’s fully naked, the way Hannibal likes him to be, and Hannibal’s mostly dressed – except for his pants around his knees – the way Will likes him to be. He can’t imagine what his sweaty knees are doing to the leather under him, but he knows Hannibal wouldn’t hesitate to keep the desecrated furniture in his office as evidence of their sordid affairs.
Fake relationship? Featuring a jealous Franklyn?? Catnip.
Hanni's Boy by Ishxallxgood
Word Count: 4648 Summary: Franklyn Froideveaux falls in love at first sight with none other than our friendly neighborhood empath. The only problem is, the object of his affections already has a partner. What is a man to do? Stalk the shit out of and emulate said partner of course. And it doesn't hurt that the man's partner just so happens to be Franklyn's very own psychiatrist Doctor Hannibal Lecter.Pure crack inspired by Jessie's Girl
This was so perfect, everything I wanted.
Savor You by Murder_Cupcake
Word Count: 585 Summary: Hannibal wants to pleasure Will, who's pregnant, heavy and embarrassed.
This was so so so hot.
in the truly gruesome do we trust by sidnihoudini
Word Count: 9473 Summary: Hannibal and Will have murder husbands mind palace sex, and Alana watches obsessively. A slow, sneaky grin slides its way across Will’s face as he looks up at Hannibal and teases, “You enjoy being watched.” “Does a lion eat its prey while it is still alive?” Hannibal asks rhetorically, an amused quirk to his lips. He drags his elbows against the silk sheets, letting himself rest his weight on them so he can comfortably brush his fingers through Will’s curls. After a pause, he drops his head, and presses his open mouth to Will’s. He pulls back a fraction, and breathes, “Yes.” Fully smiling now, sharp and uncontrolled, Will arches up against Hannibal’s body, and asks, “Does that make me the lion, or the prey?” “You are simply part of the pride,” Hannibal murmurs.
This. Was. So. Hot.
aaaand that's a wrap for October!! have fun babes!!
#gracie reads hannigram#fic recs#hannigram fic recs#hannigram recs#hannigram#hannibal#will graham#hannibal lecter#murder husbands#mads mikkelsen#hannigram fic#nbc hannibal#hugh dancy
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Ep 27 loose thoughts
Well, that's one way of snapping someone shell-shocked out of making a drastic decision. I feel like PSJ snapped something in herself at this moment, too. Anyone else found the ancestor's commentary going on in the background while the girls are bawling their eyes out hilarious? Just me? Okay.
While I was waiting for the ever burning wood to activate or something, the moment WX opened the box to reveal dried flowers I choked. ZYC!!!
Baby!Yichen breaks my heart, so impressionable, so open to learn. It's interesting to see that the phrases about suffering we've seen him use as an adult might have come from WX... Not a fan of telling people in mourning to stop dwelling in misery and sadness like it's as simple as flipping a switch (not to mention, she apparently *just* met him for the first time? The heck?), but at least the rest of her words seem to have helped him... so much that he kept the flowers 😭 The irony of her snow metaphor contrasted with their current predicament is indeed exquisite, A+ for that.
Are they going to be saved by the power of lurrrrve??? (At least this time. Still holding out for how that's gonna play out in the finale.) I mean, what other way to sway an ancient creature who's seen pretty much everything there is to see, than to show them something new? What's that? A test for a future event? (I'm getting really paranoid about nothing we've seen so far being real. It's like Alice in Wonderland on a bigger scale. Or Finnegans Wake on a smaller scale. I don't know.)
Oooh Bingyi and Ying Long, our original doomed couple (of self-sacrificial idiots)! I would watch a whole drama just about them. And damn, I can definitely see where Zhao Yuanzhou got his masochism from. Stoppppp not "Just let me be the first star"! (Especially since I just remembered ZYZ's "I'll be the rain...") It's not supposed to be literal! 😭😭😭 Ahhhh this scene just broke me, also because it seems to reinforce the idea that ZYZ *has* to be killed for the greater good. The visualssss in the execution- sacrifice? What the heck do I even call it?- scene though, soooo good!
"Let me do it myself." LET ME DO IT MYSELF??? FUCKKKKKKK DAMNIT HE JUST- ::head in hands, crying forever::
"Remember. This is my choice, not yours. You don't have to bear any blame or guilt." That's not how that works. That's not how any of that works!
Again, we're dealing with choices. But the fact that ZYZ choice was the same as Ying Long's... the fact that YL says that neither he nor Bingyi had any regrets... oh this is going to hurt.
Oh? ZYZ's future is not what he wants? (And wouldn't that be funny, considering ZYZ's own words while schooling ZYC in the very first ep... 9 times out of 10, things don't go our way?)
"You two are really like us." 😭😭😭
I was wondering if they were going to show us what ZYC saw, and not only does the image of ZYZ's body on that dark floor mirror Ying Long's body floating in the water, both ZYZ and ZYC wear the same clothes as in the very few scenes from the trailer that didn't happen yet... These poor sods, they've been Going Through It for almost a decade now with the only end in sight being yet another tragedy (even if the drama seems to suggest that they don't see it that way at this point.) ::head in hands, crying continues::
"My friend is here. We'll go together." The *sound* I made. Everything else this drama has given me aside, the growth of these characters and their bonds is so well done, and absolutely precious to me.
I want Ying Long's hopes and wishes for them to become true. Seeing how there's hints everywhere in this drama, I hope the words of one of the most powerful beings in existence will count for *something* in the end! (Am I grasping at straws? Maybe. Let me be delusional for a bit longer.)
What do you mean, five, ZYC? What's Ying Lei, chopped liver?
Oof this *almost* hug before WX starts feebly hitting ZYZ. It's relief, it's anger, it's fear for the next time, it's all the feelings that became too big to contain. I feel her so much. (I would've started whacking both him and ZYC way earlier tbh 😅) And ZYZ allowing her that release before pulling her in for reassurance, patting her as if she was a scared child. 😭 Cut to PSJ, looking as if she wanted nothing more but to be the one offering the reassurance to WX. Cut to ZYC, remembering that willingly or not, he's going to hurt WX beyond reassurance. Once again, the bonds in this drama!
Wait hold up hold on what? You just removed Bingyi's blood from him, that should mean that ZYC will not have to become a demon, right? So what's that about developing the inner core? (Also, I just realized that so far all they got from this trip was "go east and ask for a dragon scale" lol) Thankfully him and ZYZ had their conversation(s) about titles and identities so being asked to make that particular choice was not completely out of left field at this point. And all he cares about is whether that means that the last trace of Ying Long will disappear! 😭 (I'm so with Bingyi on this one... I would hold onto that last shred of my friend's existence, too, *especially* if they offed themself via my goddamn sword.)
What's with that look after he says that he thinks he has it - the inner core - is there a joke here somewhere? (I *gotta* go back to learning the language, the things I'm undoubtedly missing on!) The only thing I can think of is - did they think he said he's pregnant??? ::dies:: "So what's your true form?" "Must be dragon." "I say you're a mule." "Better than being a monkey." "I'm a white ape!" ::dies again:: Nice to see we still get a friendly ribbing between all of them, and I can breathe after all the angst. Fingers crossed? There's still 5 minutes left...
Oh good, let's talk about getting Bai Jiu back! (I knew there was one more character from the opening credits that didn't show up yet... guess it's the rebel princess.) While Ao Yin is eavesdropping! Talk about good hearing. Sigh, here it comes, another goal they have that will conflict with Li Lun's; they want the scale to restore the sword, and LL not only doesn't want that to happen, the scale could potentially help him get rid of the poison.
Oh for fuck's sake, I think I was subconsciously waiting for Chongwu Camp to show up, knowing that they've eavesdropped on the gang earlier, and here they are. ZYZ should really think of putting up some sound barrier when they discuss important plans, everyone seems to know exactly what they'll be doing at any given moment!
Ahhhh we're getting a nod to that little cough and stumble WX had shortly before this trip. Something's wrong with Baize token? Or with her connection to it? We only have 7 episodes left, drama!
(ZYC is such a good little brother.) Oh great, it was the rebel princess who killed WX's dad? I repeat, we only have 7 episodes left!
Sigh... with only 7 episodes left, we *also* find out that the goddamn 3-face-mask has history with the princess? And has everyone and their mother sat on that little bridge???
This feels like the endless final scenes in Peter Jackson's "Return of the King," my head is spinning.
Note to self, *stop* looking at previews. Ying Lei, what the absolute fuck?
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Hybrid Sanctuary AU where avian crow hybrid Johnny is so enamored by you that in your eyes he is more like a puppy than a bird. When he was rescued, his kind was already deemed extinct, until you were brought in and rescued from a mansion which collects exotic hybrids.
At first, he was so surprised by your presence that he did nothing the whole day but stare at you. It was your fault because you got lost and it was too late before you realized your mistake. You went inside his nest, your awareness has been dulled after years of being chained down. You were so scared that all you could do was crouch down as he tower in front of you, waiting for him to kill you for ruining his nest.
But nothing happened.
When the rescuers can't find you, they started frantically looking for you, and almost fainted when they saw you inside Johnny's nest. Alone, scared, and shaking in fear.
They were able to save you from him and they brought you back peacefully in your place. Later you found out that Johnny was known to be unpredictable and deadly. That's why he was in solitary for years now. No one could explain how come you got lost in a cage that was supposed to be inaccessible by another avian without permission.
Although whatever happened has been scary to everyone, especially to the doctors who have been taking care of you, they somehow deemed that maybe being around you would make Johnny less intimidating. And so your cages were moved side by side with each other, with only the glass wall separating you.
You were fully convinced it was a bad idea. You were wary of him and the thing he may do. Until you were always woken up each morning with him tapping on the glass, leaving behind gifts, placed at the side of the glass wall where you can see it first thing in the morning. He would even bring you his meals. Gets frustrated when he realized that the rescuers will not allow him in your space. But ended up with a solution anyway as he decided to eat up his meals at the same time as you eat yours. Making sure that you are looking at him before he munches and tells you it tastes good. He would even try to talk to you but all you did was stare at him, still wary about being in the presence of a male.
The behaviour that started as odd to you, has become a habit. You are not as scared of him as before but still there is fear. You started to learn to be comfortable around him but maybe it was just a calm before a storm.
The alarm blared as it signals the emergency. Metal bars started replacing the friendly glass walls and all you can do is walk away from them, as you look around, shaking, and trying to understand what's going on. The intercom keeps repeating the same thing, "Abandon the facility now!" and your brain who wasn't taught enough words may not understand what was being said, still felt danger, and in panic, you ran away.
You don't know where you at. You don't know what happened. You didn't see any hybrids running away except you. So you were alone as you made a temporary shelter at a cave, behind a waterfall. You were so tired that the moment your head was placed in something comfortable, you slept, the water sound was soothing and you finally were able to get a shut eye.
It was the feeling of warmth that woke you. A hand draped on your waist, tightening when you whined about the feeling of being too hot. Your mind was still drowsy from sleep, but all your senses snapped open when a familiar thick voice warned you to stop grinding your ass on his cock.
You try to push him away, claw at his arms, almost gauge his eyes out but he only pouts and whimpers at your efforts to remove his hold on you.
You don't understand and cannot comprehend how Johnny found you and even slept beside you without you noticing. It was as if he followed you. Then something clicks and you froze when the realization hits you.
How did you run away in the first place without the facility finding where you are? Also, this whole thing is familiar. It was as if the reenactment of how you got lost in his nest when there is no way you could be lost there.
#aenna writing archives#cod soap#hybrid soap#soap mw2#soap mactavish#soap cod#john soap mactavish#soap x reader#johnny mctavish x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish#johnny mactavish#soap x you#soap x y/n#johnny mctavish x you
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WIP Wednesday - Chapter 9 of the Redemption and Subsequent Death of Bill Cipher
“Okay. Okay. One more time.”
Bill shakes himself off, eyes fixed on where Red and Dipper are standing. Dipper is sitting on the back of Question Mark’s pickup truck with his notebook and Red is standing there, twirling an axe in her hand. Bill is stanced in front of a target, facing them.
As of three days ago, Bill is back on his feet and back to work. After waking up and being cognizant enough to actually function in Ford’s room, they’d made him lay back for another day. While Bill put up a good bit of complaint about it, it wasn’t all that bad, mostly because Ford stayed with him and pet his hair and let him stay in his bed.
Again, things aren’t exactly back to the way they were before, but there’s marked improvement. Ford will be in the same room as him again, talks to him again, even seeks him out. The night before, they’d just sat on the roof of the Mystery Shack looking at the stars and talking in a way that made Bill remember again how things had been thirty years prior.
In addition to whatever is repairing between him and Ford, Bill has devoted all spare energy to trying to get that alternate form to come out. They’ve tried meditation and clenching and willing it into being, but nothing has worked. The last solution was near-death experiences.
Thus Red, her axe, and a large target behind Bill.
“Ready?” Red asks, tossing the axe up and down in her hand for a second.
Shaking his shoulders out, Bill nods.
“Ready.”
“Alright then. Three… two—“
Red throws it on two, it sails right past Bill’s ear, Bill screams, and nothing else happens.
“What happened to ‘go on one’?!” Bill shrieks when he comes back to himself, heart hammering in his chest.
“It’s no fun if you expect it,” Red laughs, going over to collect her axe where it is sunk deep into the target beside Bill. “We’re trying to simulate a ‘near death experience’.”
“Yeah, well—“
“What are you doing?”
The three of them look up to see Ford and Mabel wandering to them. Ford is staring at Bill like he’s got three heads while Red pulls the axe out and puts it on her shoulder.
“I actually don’t know how to answer that question,” Bill confesses.
“We’re seeing if we can coax that other version of Bill out through fear,” Dipper says instead.
“By throwing axes at him?” Ford doesn’t sound mad, almost unimpressed. “There’s better ways to scare him.”
“Well, if you’ve got anything better, I’ll hear it. Nothing’s happening,” Bill tells him.
“Short of just praying that it happens when it happens, we’ve tried everything I would normally suggest,” Dipper notes from the truck.
And that’s the problem, isn’t it?
“You could try the ‘Mew Mew Kissy Cutie’ method?” Mabel suggests, climbing up into the truck to sit next to Dipper.
Ford and Bill both blink at her while Red groans and rolls her eyes.
“The what?” Bill asks.
“It’s a stupid kid’s show,” Red dismisses.
“It is an ‘anime’,” Mabel corrects with a good deal of gravitas, “and it is a very important anime.”
“Those are the shows that Soos watches sometimes, right?” Ford recalls and Mabel nods enthusiastically.
“Soos showed them to me! It’s about a magical girl!”
“Magical—” Bill starts.
“Girl?” and Ford finishes.
“Well, I’m not magic or a girl.”
Dipper makes a thoughtful sound.
“You are magical and, technically, you aren’t a boy or a girl, you’re a demon.”
“I mean, yes, your binary understanding of gender doesn’t work outside of your realm, but according to the fake ID your grunkle got me so I can buy various age-appropriate implements, I’m a man.”
“It’s not about being a boy or a girl,” Mabel insists before standing, striking a pose, “it’s about saving the world and doing so in a cute outfit and magical powers! One of those things is taken care of.”
“…but I can’t access the magical powers,” Bill reminds. It’s stupid, incredibly stupid, but at this point, they’ve only got so many options.
“Alright, what do I do?”
Mabel energetically jumps down from the truck and goes over to him.
“So, the first thing you do is you have to spin around in a circle and put your arms above your head. After a couple circles, you stop, you strike a pose, and you wink.”
“…I do what?”
“You know, you—“ And Mabel comes closer before lifting her arms above her head. She turns in a neat circle a couple of times before stopping short, hip popped with one hand on it and the other holding a peace sign next to her face.
Bill blinks at her.
“You’re kidding.”
“You heard her,” Ford insists, sounding amused. “You spin in a circle with your hands above your—“
“You just want to see me dance around and make an idiot of myself.”
“The concept has merit, yes,” Ford teases.
Bill waves him off before looking down at Mabel. “I seriously have to do all of that?”
Mabel nods energetically.
The entire group is staring at Bill hopefully and— Look, they’re desperate at this point. …what’s the worst that happens, honestly?
Bill lets out a deep sigh, squaring his shoulders, and muttering under his breath about “stupid powers” and “stupid magical girls”. Stopping a few paces away, he takes a deep breath in, willing the pale heat in his face to die down.
He lifts his arms over his head, spins in two circles before doing the same move as Mabel before stopping, hip popped, hand on his hip, and peace sign near his face.
Nothing happens.
Ford immediately bursts into laughter and Bill throws his hands up.
#gravity falls#gf#billford#bill cipher#ford pines#Stanford pines#Mabel pines#dipper pines#wendy courderoy#WIP Wednesday#my writing#the redemption and subsequent death of bill cipher#trasdobc#really debated not posting this because it is low key spoilers for chapter 8#but I also really love this scene and want to share it#magical girl bill is the reason I wrote this story#one of the reasons#the other reason is the rest of chapter 9#i had to post this section because the rest of it is spoilers#working on getting the rest of chapter 9 finished it is slow going because it has been a really rough week#i promise youll get your old man smut soon
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More (Random) Ninjago Headcanons
⚡️ Jay watches Bluey and has plushies of Bluey and Bingo on his bed (he's just like me, fr)
🌊 Nya is vegetarian
🔥 Kai listens to Ariana Grande
🔥 Kai's favourite holiday is Christmas
🪨 Cole listens to Lady Gaga while he works out
⚡️Jay is a Hazbin Hotel fan
💚 Lloyd has an irrational fear of the Grinch (I stole this from TaraYummy's new video)
🔥🌊 Kai and Nya get edited to the song "Diva" on social media (Kai loves it) *bonus headcanon*- ⚡️Jay saves any edits of Nya that come up on his social media feed (she thinks it's cute)
🌊 Nya was many girls gay awakening
🌊⚡️Nya is actually taller than Jay (he loves his tall wife)
💚 Lloyd loves the song "so this is love" from the original Disney Cinderella movie. He sings it while he does his chores
❄️ Zane can play the piano and violin
💚 Lloyd has been teaching himself how to play the acoustic guitar when he has free time
💚🔥 Kai cuts/styles Lloyd's hair. Lloyd refuses to go to an actual hairstylist.
🪨🌊⚡️❄️💚🔥 All the ninja have social media 👇🏻
🔥 Public account/his personal blog, hes verified, has the most followers out of all the ninja, he's kinda obsessed with his Instagram looking aesthetic, posts every day, pictures of friends/family + Skylor + Any Jay slander memes, cute outfits, ninja events (TV appearances), he follows all of his team members + Pixal/Skylor/Darreth, (cruelty free)beauty/hair/alt clothing brands+ NGTV news, ninja fan pages
⚡️Public account, spam posts stupid shit on his story, mainly posts memes + the other ninja + NYA LOTS OF NYA, video game clips, Star fairer, follows all his team mates/Pixal/Darreth + let's play youtubers, meme pages
🌊 Public account, she posts workout videos + Jay/the team + after mission pictures/videos, follows her teammates/Pixal/Skylor/Tox/Sora + local gyms
❄️ Public account, only has 4 posts- 1. Him and the team after the final battle 2. A picture of him and his father for Day of the departed 3. His falcon 4. Gf (pixal) appreciation post for girlfriend day, follows his teammates/Pixal- that's it.
🪨 Public account, posts pictures (and reviews) of different sweet pastries + gym selfies and the current playlist he's working out to (he also posts links to his Spotify) + lots of selfies of him and Jay being silly/his teammates + himself on nature walks, he follows his teammates/Pixal/Geo/Vania + all of the bakerys in New Ninjago City + the gym he works out at + WWE
💚 Private account, also barely posts, when he does post it's beautiful landscapes he's seen on his solo missons + drawings he did + animals + his team (mainly him and Kai or him and Arin) + inspirational quotes and comic books, he follows his teammates/Pixal/Darreth/Skylor/Arin/Sora that's it
That's it for now
This is the only gif I could find with all of them in it. also- Gif isn't mine <33
I just realised Jay's not in it smh😒😒
#lego ninjago#ninjago#headcanon#ninjago headcanons#ninjago lloyd#jay walker#kai ninjago#ninjago cole#ninjago nya#ninjago zane#bluey cartoon#hazbin hotel#tara yummy#the grinch#wwe#cake
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So I promised a postmortem and it’s finally time! Here’s the TL:DR. I loved it. I can already tell I’ll probably have more played hours in this game than Inquisition, and I fucking loved Inquisition! Good, bad, and ugly beneath the cut and there will be heavy spoilers for the entire game, so read at your own risk. (This is also long, because I have a lot to say!)
THE GOOD
Rook. Once I let go of my preconceived notion of how Rook was (mid-40s and serious but kind) and accepted Rook for the young, sarcastic character they are, I fell in love. Edda is going to be an A possibly even S tier OC for me
The dwarves. We were fed so well, y’all. So much lore and dialogue choices. There was even a Grey Warden dwarf specific dialogue choice. I love the confirmation of what we all suspected with the Titans. I just wish that a dwarf Rook had the opportunity to confront Solas. He apparently apologizes to Harding. But what about a dwarf Rook?
Exploration. I’m an idiot when it comes to figuring out in-game puzzles and such. I’ve read some complaints that everything was far too easy, but for one of the first times I remember, I could do a vast majority of puzzles and finding treasures without consulting a game guide. And I was actually proud when I figured things out. When I play Edda again, I’m going to 100% the world and I cannot wait
The Companions. Bonus points for Emmrich Volkarin. I ended up loving all of them. Even the ones I was very ‘meh’ on before playing the game. Like Bellara. She was on my list to romance second to last. And she has moved up to third, after Emmrich and Davrin.
Emmrich Volkarin. Yes, he gets his own special mention. I love him so much that I created a second Rook to romance him. That way I have one Emmrich that is not a lich (Edda’s choices) and one Emmrich that is a lich (Sonnet’s choice). I love his compassion, his kindness, his reverence of the dead. I adore his romance and how clear it is that Rook has bewitched him, body and soul. The fact that they lean into the age gap and it becomes entwined with his own fears of death. He has my favorite personal quest. I loved the music, the atmosphere. How it pertains to his own journey, facing his mortality (plus Johanna Hezenkoss can get it). Plus it has the banger line of ‘Show them what a real necromancer can do!’ I even can’t wait not to romance him and see what the friendship is like and encourage him to hook up with Strife
The backgrounds. Granted, I’ve only played through the game 1.5 times, but there have been so many background mentions. Especially for the Grey Wardens. Mourn Watch has some great ones too. I mean, there was Grey Warden romance banter during a fight. In a side quest! I can’t wait to discover more
The character creator. I love how inclusive it is, especially when you compare it to previous Dragon Age games. The hair is beautiful (but where is my braid crown! my kingdom for a braid crown!) and I have overweight OCs, which make me very happy. Varric's shaving mirror is also amazing, and because I want EA to know that people are using these options, Sonnet is a trans woman who will save Thedas
THE BAD
Weird tonal switches. Emmrich and Harding are going to Ferelden so she can show him around but the South is being razed by darkspawn. Harding’s mom sends her back with pie and gives great hugs. How in the world are they getting to Ferelden? Rook was amazed to see the Inquisitor in the North so why would the members of the Veilguard be able to go to the South? Some of the codex entries are so dark and yet everyone is happy in the Lighthouse
Give Rook a problem, please! I kept waiting for Rook’s LI to go up to her and ask if there’s anything distracting her. If there’s any problem they could solve together. But that never came and Rook is apparently the only person on the team that can’t be distracted by their own problems. How amazing would it have been if Rook had some sort of personal quest. Maybe based on lineage. Or background. Something that shows that she matters as much to her companions and they mean to her
The Act One Choice. Still mad about it. Are you telling me that two extra people would have saved Minrathous? That a city full of the most powerful mages in the known world couldn’t take down a fucking dragon? It didn’t feel earned and it did annoy me a great deal
Let. Rook. Mourn. While I appreciate that Rook was able to mourn Varric and Davrin (in my playthrough) privately, the fact that it immediately jumps to a sex scene sort of bothered me. Especially Emmrich’s taking them to the Necropolis so they can bang in a coffin. This was not the time to leave the Lighthouse, Emmrich! The rest of the team got to mourn Davrin and worry about Neve together. I wish Rook could have been a part of that too.
Let’s talk Varric’s death. I didn’t see it coming. I actually ranted to a friend before I knew what happened that they should have killed him in the prologue if this was how they were going to use him. Oops. I hate how callous the truth about his death makes Rook look. I hate that Harding and Neve didn’t even really seem to mourn. Hate how the Inquisitor or Dorian or Isabela don’t mention him at all. I hate how obvious his death is in my second playthrough. I will have to fix this all in fanfic
THE UGLY
Assuming there is another DA game, where do we go from here? I really dislike the concept of the Executors in the secret ending. One thing I’m optimistic about is that by basically wiping the south off the map, we might be able to have more games there. Because everything will have been reset, so to speak. How does the South deal with the mages when they’ve all been fighting darkspawn for their lives? Put them back into Circles? I think not
I’m also not sure about what choices would move forward into a new DA game. Not talking companion choices, but choices that actually affect the world. No matter what we do, the Blight is over and the Veil is safe. If BioWare couldn’t be bothered to have the Well of Sorrows choice matter, I can’t imagine they’ll care how Solas was bound to the Veil, whether it be by choice, trickery, or force. Minrathous or Treviso is the only other non-companion choice I can think of that might possibly matter
But honestly, it doesn’t matter, because who knows if we’ll ever get another Dragon Age game? I know I would love one, but I have this sinking feeling there won’t be (please let me be wrong!)
So there you have it. I really love this game, good, bad, and ugly. And I found so much more to love than to dislike. I have a feeling I will be yelling about this game (and Emmrich!) for a long, long time
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y'know, i keep making a habit of swinging my bat at hornets nests, but i have to say i'm getting so, so tired of people complaining about shows not making perfect sense when they aren't even close to done. we're four episodes into this season of doctor who. we're four episodes into this season of bridgerton. and yet in both fandoms i keep seeing people whine that such and such didn't make sense or it wasn't explained all the way and by god you guys i think maybe explanations might come later in the season. this is something most viewers will recognize as being called a 'plot.'
#like maybe a tiny bit of media literacy... might save you#and if you think i'm being mean like. its okay if you don't get it at first. it's okay if you don't understand the themes. but maybe#instead of stamping your feet and saying this makes no sense and i hate what they're doing and and and#maybe you could try listening to other people's interpretations of things and you'll find that what the show is trying to tell you becomes#more clear! would you look at that. wild how that happens#like im sorry you're entitled to your opinions but calling things bad writing just because you don't quite get it or it doesn't resonate#with you personally... i don't think you should just say this was shitty and worthless#the examples im using are because both resonate with me btw. 73 yards was existential horror it was hill house and bly manor#(im going to write about this in another post btw bc it compels me so)#it was about the way fear of abandonment can haunt you how mental illness can haunt you how you feel like you can drive people away#just by being yourself (the Woman was Herself what caused ruby to be abandoned was Her it's about her feeling as though she was the cause#of everyone who left her even as a baby even the people who loved her most could decide to not love her at the drop of a hat)#colin bridgerton is masking and faking a personality because it has been proven that time and time again#being Himself is Wrong that he annoys people he makes himself into what people expect of him because he's tired of being abandoned too#his family ignores and does not reply to his letters this season PEN stopped replying to his letters#his brother was cruel to him for being a romantic his friends LAUGHED AT HIM for saying sex is meaningful to him and don't they feel lonely#his Fake Rake persona makes viewers cringe because! its!! fake!!! he's faking it! HE GETS CALLED OUT ON IT TWICE IN EP ONE#if you don't understand he's faking it then that's on you at that point! i don't know! maybe take a minute to sit in the discomfort and ask#why did this show make me react this way and do you think maybe it was on purpose#''73 yards was confusing'' do you think confusion may be one of the ways ruby feels about her abandonment?#there is a theme in all of her episodes so far is it ''badly written'' unclear to you or do you just refuse to think critically about it#txtly#and im sorry for tagging this its just for my blog i kinda wish they still didnt show up in tags if i tag them all the way at the bottom#[old lady ruby voice] ''i used to be able to tag things just for myself once upon a time''#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#doctor who#doctor who spoilers
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>Laughs Out Loud
I thought that piece was just about people focusing too hard on labelling Mizuki instead of letting them be themselves like they ask, not that it was transphobia ._ .
its ok to have ur own interpretation of that piece but its very clear to me that that wasnt ame's intention
#also i dont think its bad At All for ppl to 'focus too hard on labeling mizuki' is it bad that trans ppl are celebrating rep#if u find it annoying maybe distance urself from the fandom honestly. its So Ok i did it too after the debacle with the facts acc lol.#its so normal and common for queer ppl to be A little annoying about queer characters dude theres been so little rep for such a long time#ppl just end up feeling overprotective over the character bc they dont see their experiences reflected in media as often#its just so sucky to me to scold ppl over being happy and expressing their queerness#what is focusing too hard anyways? the argument just reeks of how cishets get annoyed at anyone openly queer for 'shoving it in their face'#and ame liking a post calling mizuki a he + her response to the backlash makes me think her threshold for 'too much' is way lower than mine#talking#mizuki5#asks#work with me here why do you think ame has to 'forbid herself from thinking about mizukis identity'#edit also how do labels stop mizuki from being herself like yeah labels can be limiting but as far as we know mizuki is a femenine tgirl#i dont think she'd find it limiting shes just scared atm to be openly trans around ppl she cares about in fear of being treated differently#in fact i think itd be super sweet if we eventually got an event where mizuki connects with other trans ppl and finds a sense of solidarity#with ppl who mirror her own experiences with gender#niigo going to a pride parade.. mfy finding strength in knowing theres other ppl out there that defy their family to be themselves..#i think knd would know the least abt queer ppl bc shes been so Composingbrain but eager to understand to make songs that can save ppl..#like how her dad told her she needs to be more worldly to make good songs#ena i think would know what the average person knows but sososo glad to see mizuki happy and comfy
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If you don't write Ben as trembling, shaking, tripping over himself, stumbling to his knees for Rey I don't think you actually understand the character as he was in that moment
Rey could have ended that war by taking his hand tbh. If she had taken his hand she absolutely could have convinced him to do anything in that moment. He just killed his master, the man who had been in his head for 30 years, manipulating and destroying him from the inside out. He had no sense of personal identity, just a loose sense of morals and ideals and his obsession with her. She fully controlled him.
Obviously she did what she thought she had to do but I'm only observing. She wanted the death and fighting to stop. I do think if she had taken his hand she could have convinced him. He wanted to bring about peace and balance like his grandfather, he just didn't have all the right tools, like, rey's goodness and a different perspective.
#ben in that 10 minutes between killing his master and losing rey was so overstimulated#not only has he lost the direct link to snoke whos been plaguing him with nightmares and fear#so deeply intertwined from when he was in his mothers womb that ben truly knows no different#but he and rey have fought side by side.. wordlessly communicating through their bond perfectly in sync with each other#theyve both repeatedly killed for each other and saved the others life#what exactly is supposed to happen next? she came to him willingly but does she want to stay?? he needs to get her to stay#his brain is scrambled fried baked whatever#his proposal is Mr Darcy in the Rain Fail Moment but hes not hopeless just hopelessly devoted to her#all im saying is theres a universe where rey sees the good ideas in his head and the chance to change things now hes in charge#leia may have been a princess and politician and luke may have helped save the galaxy#but its ben who frees the skywalker name from enslavement.. anakin was always under the emperor and he was no different#it could have been very interesting to see their tentative union while dropping hints in the last few minutes#that snoke was one of palpys clones. then it wouldn't have been so out of left field in the next movie#and we can get an even better showcase of rey embracing the dark feeling is surround her#palpy is drawing her in this time instead of ben and she doesnt even have to be blood related#I'd actually rather she still was rey of nowhere#but hes manipulating her and bens redemption arc is him saving her.. bringing her back to the light#but showing her how having both isnt so bad.. how being light and dark is ok . how love and anger and fear arent the end of living#so in helping her hes embracing his Light and her Dark and the conclusion is oh actually#this black and white moral structure is inherently fucked and balance is the only true answer to anything#ben solo#rey of jakku#reylo
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.
#i wanted to find xan's epilogue slides so that i could talk about them and i failed but im talking abt them off my memory anyway#so: how is xan legally allowed to become charname's high priest when he still has the moonblade#like. that's corellon's thing. so what is the process of divorcing himself from that duty#previous conversations have emphasized that chances for him to be free of the moonblade are rare and difficult#so i assume charname as a new deity steps in and does that for him#but even if it's possible & easy: would xan give it up just like that? like he says multiple times that he hates the burden of the sword#but i keep thinking back to that 1 exchange abt secret names where xan explains his secret name literally means promised to the blade#and charname's like 'i prefer xan to your true name and i think so do you; it separates you from your moonblade'#and xan gets really quiet and he's like 'my name was a gift from my father. as was the moonblade' and the conversation instantly ends#like??? the blade is tied up in so much significance. is he really so ready to simp for goddess!charname that his filial piety disappears#like i know that immediately after u save him from bodhi he's like 'i will do whatever you want me to with my life'#and he's outright like 'if you want me to be your high priest when you ascend to godhood i'm 100% down'#but bro just for saving his life?? idk abt anyone else but i save his life on a daily basis. guy is always 2 hits away from death#maybe he's especially awed like 'wow charname took a potentially fatal blow for me' but my guy she does that every damn hour#she's a permanent member of the front line just to keep the aggro off of you. have some more appreciation for her everyday sacrifice#idk it's the way that he's been asking charname not to use her divine powers for 2 full games bc he fears it will consume her#and how he's been sighing longingly and going 'i wish we could have our wedding and a quiet life'#and then. suddenly. he's indifferent to / in full support of the goddess ending??#like my guy are you aware that you're going to have to share her?? that she'll have other champions besides you??#that you're never going to truly have her again? that the most you will have of her is her avatar and the visits she makes in your dreams#that you're abandoning the seldarine and might not get to see your parents in the afterlife ever??#i do love the full devotion thing. i do. but xan's brand of devotion has always come with an asterisk#his and charname's values have to align even Somewhat for his romance to even happen#so what is this? ''if you get far enough in his romance his values no longer matter''?#''feel free to choose whatever ending you want bc at this point he'll just indulge you and go along with it''?#sorry did i romance a fucking reed in the wind?? if i wanted someone that bends to any and all whims xan would be the last person i picked#he's all 'i can't say no to you' now and i'm like *slumps over my desk* i miss when he was contrary about everything#the 'cant say no' thing is even worse if in the underdark you--no i wont get into it#sovo note
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I can’t believe I live in a three dog household where Arlo is the least problematic and the most angelic of the bunch
#so proud of how far he’s come#he’s not been reactive in years#he is still fear aggressive with 90% of dogs and 100% of men but I don’t see either of those as flaws#his man hatred has saved my life on more than 3 occasions#his favorite kind of dog: tiny boys (if neutered)#we have a tiny neighbor named Digger and he gets very excited to see him when they’re in the yards at the same time#and it’s so healing to see him play bowing at a dog after all he’s been through#but I can’t let him play bc Digger’s mom is kind of unsettling and I think her vibe would set Arlo up for failure#he wouldn’t hurt digger but he might get snarly if diggers mom makes him nervous#so they just say hi through the fence#he does NOT like juni#he is indifferent to banjo but she doesn’t really like him so he’ll lunge and growl if she comes near (there are no instances where#they interact at all dw)#me n Arlo live in the basement with our own set of doors#Juni n banjo live upstairs#my cats get free rein of the whole house EXCEPT as of recently since Juni is turning out to not be very good with cats#so now they’re in the basement with us during the day when the upstairs dogs are home#free reign at night and while Tyrell and thom are working#the Juni with cats thing is actually sort of bizarre— she’s only iffy with them when I (their parent) is around#she gets VERY upset if i pet Ottilie in front of her#resource guarding maybe? but she doesn’t resource guard me from banjo like she does w Tyrell#Juni is complex#banjo is an enigma and hard to read#I love them all even if they’re all a lil nutty#banjo and Juni are reactive#Juni only while on leash#she’s making progress#I haven’t walked banjo in a while so I’m not sure where her progress there lies#but she’s still reactive in the yard#anyway I’m proud of Arlo
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